NFL Week 14 Recap, Blowouts Galore, The Bears Suck And Who's Back Of The Week

2h 12m

NFL Week 14, Fastest 2 minutes. Recapping every game from Sunday as we watch the second half of Bears/Packers
( 00:02:13 - 00:07:07)

Browns/Ravens
(00:14:33 - 00:22:29)

WFT/Cowboys
(00:22:29 - 00:30:33)

Chiefs/Raiders
(00:30:33 - 00:43:14)

Titans/Jaguars
(00:43:14 - 00:59:10)

Falcons/Panthers
(00:59:10 - 01:05:49)

Saints/Jets
(01:05:49 - 01:13:13)

Seahawks/Texans
(01:13:13 - 01:23:13)

Broncos/Lions
(01:23:13 - 01:28:42)

Chargers/Giants
(01:28:42 - 01:32:09)

49er/Bengals
( 01:32:09- 01:36:44)

Bucs/Bills
( 01:36:44 - 01:49:11)
We wrap up with who's back of the week and Football guy of the week.


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Press play and read along

Runtime: 2h 12m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Falls here, kids are back in school, vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 2 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 2 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 2 And if you head over to bombas.com slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 4 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 4 week 14.

Speaker 4 Blowout week. Couple great games in there, though.
We're going to recap every game. We're going to do fastest two minutes.

Speaker 4 We also are starting the recording right at the second half of Bears Packers kick off, so you'll get live reactions to whatever's gonna happen there. Who knows, crazy, crazy first half.

Speaker 4 We have

Speaker 4 who's back of the week, Football Guy of the Week, another great Football Monday. There's not a ton left, so embrace it, embrace it, embrace it.
Great show coming up.

Speaker 5 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 6 At participating McDonald's.

Speaker 6 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 6 and then a lot of soft work to be done.

Speaker 6 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 6 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna ride it down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 6 and then we're taking higher.

Speaker 6 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 4 and then we're taking higher pardon my take presented by Barcelona Sports.

Speaker 4 Welcome to part of my take presented by Toe Steedos, the official chip and dip of the NFL. Today is Monday, December 13th,

Speaker 4 week 14.

Speaker 4 Whoop!

Speaker 4 We start in Cleveland, where the Ravens had a queen on defense, but an artist formerly known as the most valuable prince on offense. As Lamar Jackson came down with a purple sprain, purple sprain.

Speaker 4 I would walk 500 miles. Garrett proclaimed the season is not over for the Browns.

Speaker 4 As the Browns first produced their pistol, then produced their baker, said Cleveland and deliver because they've got whiskey in the jar. This Landry, Browns 24, Ravens 22.

Speaker 4 To Riley John, Maryland, where fast times at Ridgemont Heineke got the ball knocked out of his mister Hand and threw a costly Piccoli.

Speaker 4 In true Texas form, the Cowboys brought their own electric chairs to the sideline as Jerry Jones and Dr. Dre said these benches ain't shit.

Speaker 4 Young Jeezy Greg Zerline put on for a city and them boys with four field goals. Cowboys 27.
The Washington football team 20.

Speaker 4 The Packers just scored. Fuck.
In Charlotte, where Hayden hurts so good. Come on, baby.
Hayden, her so good. Scored for the Falcons.

Speaker 4 And speaking of hurts, my eyes when I'm watching Cam Newton play football. Boom.
Shhh.

Speaker 4 Kevin McHale Walker dropped, stepped in front of a pass, and the Panthers went chuba diving to the bottom of the NFC south since Christian McCaffrey's leg got the Benz. Falcons 29, Panthers 21.
What?

Speaker 4 Some spread.

Speaker 4 In Kansas City, where Mike Hughes' line isn't anyway, scored six points that didn't really matter. Tyrancy Reagan Matthew had a nose for the ball as the Chiefs swallowed the Raiders hole.

Speaker 4 This game was on ice early as Clyde Edwards' hill air conditioning made sure the Chiefs never had to sweat. The Chiefs take down the

Speaker 4 Raiders 48 to 9.

Speaker 4 Raiders, thoughts and prayers to the boy.

Speaker 4 In Tennessee, where loser Trevor Lawrence threw four interceptions and loser James Robinson only had four yards on six carries.

Speaker 4 Marvin Jones Jr., who is a loser, might I add, his dad's probably a loser too, had a decent game in a losing effort. The defense, comprised of a bunch of losers, lit up 20 points.

Speaker 4 And the coaching staff, who are all losers, might I add, lost the game. Except, of course, Urban Meyer, who has won three national titles and is a winner's winner.
Titans 20, loser Jaguars, 0.

Speaker 4 Lose one isn't anyway, Boom. Ah, I like it.
Tomorrow High, where Melvin Gordon Ramsey told the Lions please kneecaps Tice-like shit on his way to two scores.

Speaker 4 Prince Albert, Oakway Nunebaum, pierced through the Lions' D for a score. The one bright spot for Detroit was Khalif.
Everybody loves Raymond's touchdown.

Speaker 4 Remind the fanbase that Barone wasn't built in a day. Ted Zeppelin Bridgewater has built a stairway to seven wins.
The Broncos, 38. The Lions, 10.

Speaker 4 In Cincinnati, where any defender saying they could guard George turned out to be a pretty kiddo liar as he went for 151 yards at a touchdown.

Speaker 4 Jamar Shmello Chase camped out in the end zone and said, I want more.

Speaker 4 In overtime, the crowd was chanting, Let's Go, Brandon, as Ayuk put up some suspicious points late at night after most people stopped watching the game. The Niners win in OT 26-23.

Speaker 4 Stick to sports boom.

Speaker 4 Down in Tampa Bay, where what looked like a blowout got close late when Dawson Johnny Knoxville scored and Bucs fans looked like they were beer-bonging farts.

Speaker 4 Josh Allen Rynch was twisting and turning and doing it off with the Bills in their furious comeback. Tyler Pro Bass Shot Pyramid sent the game to overtime.

Speaker 4 But the catch of the day came from Rashad Katie Perryman as he and Tom Brady Perry hooked up for a touchdown and said, I kissed a girl and I liked it. Hope that my son don't mind it.

Speaker 4 The Bucs, 33, the Bills, 27.

Speaker 4 Sitting on a corner, Jameis Whitson down in Nola. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 4 It's a Mormon soak in Zach Wilson choked with Taysom Hill throwing two TVs. Come on, come on.

Speaker 4 You're in the house of Mars.

Speaker 4 And Billy wrote this song So we're rhyming Maras

Speaker 4 Saints go marching 30 to 9

Speaker 7 And that Hey, it's PFT here reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 7 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 7 Seriously guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 4 Hey,

Speaker 4 well, that was a good start for this.

Speaker 4 So... Set the stage.
We are recording

Speaker 4 and during the second half of the Bears-Packers game because we thought we'd give people a look into the sadness that I will undoubtedly

Speaker 4 have.

Speaker 4 And as I was finishing that ad, it's 28-27 Packers, and the Bears just got a holding penalty while Justin Fields fumbled the ball. You'll always have that first half, though.

Speaker 4 That first half was awesome. How did that happen?

Speaker 4 How did the Bears play an incredible first half that was full of exciting plays and just fun?

Speaker 4 And I was cheering, and I was yelling, and I was yelping, and it was like, it was like just feeling alive again. They were fast.
Matt Nagy was calling good plays. And then we start this podcast.

Speaker 4 And literally the second that we start the real show, Justin Fields gets strip sacked on a holding call too. If you hold, you shouldn't give up a strip sack.

Speaker 4 Yeah, this is like the reverse Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd album where they started the second half.

Speaker 4 in sync with us starting this podcast so that they would know to maximize exactly when this show would need them to have the colossal colossal fuck-ups.

Speaker 4 I appreciate the commitment to the artistry by the Bears there, but good news. Oh, and here's a touchdown.

Speaker 4 I was not to say good news and then that the good news is now irrelevant what I was going to say because it was about to be wrong.

Speaker 4 We've been recording now for seven minutes and the Packers have scored twice. They also scored during Boomers.
You heard that.

Speaker 4 Like how?

Speaker 4 All right, well, so guess what? You sick fucking perverts, you're going to get to listen to the rest of this game, and I'm sure the Packers are going to end up winning by like 25.

Speaker 4 And Hank has a parlay parlay that he sent me he's like hey if anyone wants to bet this he sent it to me it was like Packers to win by 45 Aaron Rodgers to throw 17 touchdowns and Devontae Adams to have 45 touchdowns in in my defense big cat I you have given me zero faith I have no reason to believe all you've done is talk about Bears so when I think about it I'm like what's what is Big Cat Bears fantastic I also think they're terrible and they're going to get smoked so

Speaker 4 and yeah again I said it to you earlier I was with you in Arizona when they got beat like 41 41 to 0. Yeah, the famous 2014 team.
That's what I'll always think of when I think of Bears players.

Speaker 4 2014, when it was actually,

Speaker 4 it was basically Aaron Rodgers playing against the Bears if you played on all the sliders in your favor on rookie mode, and it's not even fun because that was how bad they beat us.

Speaker 4 This is what I don't like about in the first half. You sacked Aaron Rodgers, and you did the discount double check in his face in the first quarter.

Speaker 4 I know you got to take your chances when they're there because you so very rarely get to even do that. So I understand the feeling that, okay, we need to celebrate when we have the chance.
Yes.

Speaker 4 But also, if you do that to Aaron, you're poking the bear a little bit. But he's already been poked.
He's always been poked. He's a surly guy who should be in prison.
No, he got immunized.

Speaker 4 He got immunized. He's a surly malcontent who doesn't like anyone, who doesn't have any friends, and he should be in prison.
So listen. The small, I'll have that first half.

Speaker 4 That run back from Jaqueem Grant was electric. You had the Jet sweep? Yeah, Matt Nagy's been calling great plays.
It's actually been Bill Laser, I assume.

Speaker 4 Because anything good that happens, I assume it's not Matt Nagy. Well, at halftime, Matt Nagy said, I am having fun.
That was the quote that he gave me.

Speaker 4 Well, he probably thought it was a two-quarter game. He said, I'm having fun.

Speaker 4 We're all having fun. This is fun, isn't it, guys? This is bad.
This is now bad. This is getting, it was not a war crime.
Now it's getting close to a war crime.

Speaker 4 Well, I think it's going to give you spin zones. Can I give you a spin zone on this?

Speaker 4 If Matt Nagy wins this game and the Bears go on a little run, a little trot to end the season, and they get into that Nickelodeon game, then Matt Nege might have a case, keep me around.

Speaker 4 Let's not change. You don't want to ruin things for a rookie quarterback and put him in a new system year two.
He's gone. He's already been fake-fired.

Speaker 4 I know he's been fake-fired, but I'm saying you kind of don't want him to win this game. They're so far back from the playoffs that there's like

Speaker 4 the Bears are essentially those people who post like the Lions who have been eliminated officially today, which is sad. But they're in that camp where people put together half-drunk theories where

Speaker 4 every single game has to go your way, and then you got to throw in a random tie as well. The khaki

Speaker 4 that you guys were not eliminated yet.

Speaker 4 Until Steve Cornacki unrolls his phantom scroll that he keeps on. By the way, I'm a Cornaki scroll truther.
I don't think that he actually has anything written on that piece of paper. Probably not.

Speaker 4 It's just a prop form.

Speaker 4 Probably not. All right, so we're going to recap the rest of this game as it goes along.
It's going to get bad. I can feel it.

Speaker 4 Just the tenor of just hitting record and two touchdowns happening that fast.

Speaker 4 But we will jump in every now and then. I just need one Devontae Adams turn and just so you know where the heads are.
Shut up. So everybody should know

Speaker 4 going into this podcast that Hank has fully embraced his heel turn. Hank's new his new bit now is to just be grumpy.
Very hateful. What is this?

Speaker 4 Our food was late.

Speaker 4 Our new bit is late.

Speaker 4 And Hank was threatening murder. You're either angry or smug with this.
All right, you guys are really twisting this. Very smart of me.
And a grumpy man would say that. I'm not grumpy at all.

Speaker 4 I'm the happiest person in the world. Well, because you're the only one who got your full meal.
He's also had incredible

Speaker 4 chilies, by the way. And he's either angry or he's happy because somebody else is sad.
And he's already cashed his Bears Lose by a thousand parlay in his head. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 4 And we'll get to some of Hank's shenanigans a little bit later with some of these teams that he's rooting for. Okay, so, all right, let's hop into the games.
Let's hop into week four. I love you guys.

Speaker 4 I would just want that on the record. You don't mean that.
I do mean that. Send that parlay if you love me.
You take me off. Send it to everyone else.
No, Big Cat. God forbid.

Speaker 4 You thought I was going to bet that?

Speaker 4 No. Absolutely not.
It was Packers to win by 45.

Speaker 4 It was like, will Big Cat be the first movie? It's like part of my take to die. It was like $10 to win a million.
Minus $300. Everything that had to happen, good for the Packers.

Speaker 4 All right, let's get into the games. Let's talk.
Let's start with

Speaker 4 everyone's favorite division, the AFC North that no one wants to win.

Speaker 4 Browns Ravens. Browns 24, Ravens 22.

Speaker 4 So let's start with the Ravens.

Speaker 4 I think the Ravens, if you're a Ravens fan, you officially, you probably already won it before, but with Marlon Humphreys getting hurt last week and Lamar Jackson getting hurt this week, we don't know how long he's going to be out.

Speaker 4 You officially are the champions of most injured team of 2021. Like I said, you probably already had that crown, but this was like, this was the final piece piece of having Lamar Jackson getting hurt.

Speaker 4 You Ravens fans have every right to complain about injuries, and this team was already like on the precipice of falling apart, and then Lamar Jackson got hurt, and Tyler Huntley actually played okay and brought them back, but it's over.

Speaker 4 The Ravens have won the award for most injured. Hang the banner in Baltimore.

Speaker 4 If you're a guy who likes to have the Ravens record in your Twitter bio, replace that with most injured team of 2021. Or just don't update it from this point out.

Speaker 4 They have outperformed their injury luck that they've had so far because going into this, they were like the most injured team of the preseason, too. Yes.

Speaker 4 So it's like preseason champions and regular season champions when it comes to that. Both their running backs and one of their starting cornerbacks in training camp.
Yes.

Speaker 4 And I think they've had some line issues, too. And now that Lamar has done, I think, well, they said he's got a lower ankle sprain.
So that might not be that.

Speaker 4 That could be like a two-week injury, two and a half weeks. Russell Wilson would say, like, I'm going to walk it off tomorrow.
Yes. I'll be practicing.

Speaker 4 I actually haven't, I haven't taken myself out of the game, even though I have one foot, is how Russell Wilson. Try to play in a wheelchair.
Yeah, but they had a nice little comeback.

Speaker 4 Harbaugh gave us a new little wrinkle to think about when it comes to when to go for two and when to kick an extra point. Okay.
Because he went for two down nine later on in the game. Okay.

Speaker 4 So you would think that

Speaker 4 you kick the extra point, you go down eight, it's a one-score game, right? Uh-uh-uh. No, the analytics community would tell you that you're going to have to go for two at some point.

Speaker 4 So we already know if you're down 14, go for two, right? Yep, always.

Speaker 4 Now, I think we have to add this one: that if you're down nine, you go for two because you're going to have to go for two anyways to win.

Speaker 4 You're going to want to know exactly when you need to get that two points. Yes, that's true.
Because now you've got to battle.

Speaker 4 And then Justin Tucker had an awesome free kick because Justin Tucker is a magician. Anything that he touches with his foot turns to gold.
Yeah. And but yeah, they came back well in this game.

Speaker 4 The Browns' offense was a little weird. I was going to say that's more about the Browns.
Like, the Browns' defense won this game.

Speaker 4 The Browns' defense did enough they had to do, like, to make big stops in big moments. The Browns' offense, I don't, they're just weird because you thought they could run the ball.

Speaker 4 They really couldn't run it that great today, like, not the dominating run that they've been used to. And they didn't score in the entire second half.

Speaker 4 Like, they had a couple of good drives, and that was it.

Speaker 4 They just haven't figured it out. I think they win this game, though, if Lamar Jackson plays.
Because Hollywood Brown was, excuse me, Marquise Brown. You mean the Ravens win this game?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so because Marquise Brown was opened a couple times.
Huntley missed him on a few bad overthrows,

Speaker 4 and obviously just, you know, he's Lamar Jackson, so he's probably going to be better than Huntley, who did, though,

Speaker 4 play pretty well for the Ravens in the second half.

Speaker 4 I don't know if anyone wants to win the AFC North, though, because now the AFC North is very, very cloudy.

Speaker 4 I think the Ravens are in, I mean, it's not a crazy thing to say, they're in big trouble without Lamar Jackson. And, oh, yeah, they have Packers, App Bengals, and Rams coming up.

Speaker 4 So not exactly like an easy schedule down the stretch. And now the AFC North, we were talking about it.

Speaker 4 The AFC North, at times we've been like, ooh, the AFC North might be the best division in football because each team has taken a turn.

Speaker 4 Maybe not the Steelers, but each team has taken a turn in the sun where it's like, oh. They're really, really good.
And none of the teams are truly awful.

Speaker 4 But then you actually look at it and you're like, wait, none of these teams are good either.

Speaker 4 They're just, I think all the teams when they play their best games are very good, but they usually don't play their best teams. Right.
They're just very average teams, I think.

Speaker 4 Man, this really makes me wish that the Steelers won on Thursday night. If the Steelers won that game, I would say like the Steelers might actually look like they're the best team right now.

Speaker 4 They would all be within one game in the win column.

Speaker 4 And they're all now, they are one game in the loss column. Obviously, the Steelers have that tie.
But here's what I'll say nicely.

Speaker 4 Here's what I'll say nice about the AFC North. I would imagine if I had to guess, you know how they usually flex one game to end Sunday Night Football Week 18, which sounds weird to say.

Speaker 4 It feels like the AFC North will probably have that game for the division, which will be fun. Like, that will be fun.

Speaker 4 I think the Browns play the Bengals. Maybe it'll be that.
I like that. That'll be a lot of fun.
I'm just wondering who wins that division. Right.

Speaker 4 So that's one good thing to look at if you're an AFC North fan, if you're a fan of the division.

Speaker 4 Only other notes I had,

Speaker 4 Takaris McKinley. I forgot he was on the Browns.
That's why you don't give up on first-round picks. There you go.
Miles Garrett was awesome too. Yeah, he was awesome.
He was very good.

Speaker 4 But Takaris McKinley, I was like, oh, I remember when he was on the Falcons and he sucked and they just benched him.

Speaker 4 You know what Miles Garrett reminds me of when you used to do like a creative player in Madden and you just get wild with it.

Speaker 4 And you'd say, you know what, I'm going to make the tallest player that you can make. I'm going to make the strongest player you can make.

Speaker 4 And also, oh, yeah, I'm going to make him the fastest player on the field. Yes.
That's it. Miles Garrett doesn't look like he should be able to run that fast.

Speaker 4 It's a crime against God that he's able to run that fast. The strongest, fastest guy guy out there who's just an absolute monster.
And yeah, I mean,

Speaker 4 I guess, all right, right now, if you had to pick a team from the AFC North that you feel most confident in. Okay.

Speaker 4 I think it's the Browns. I think it might be the Browns because they're defense.
And because they can run the ball.

Speaker 4 They chose not to run the ball today. Yes.
But they can. We know that they can run the ball.
They're built for December. Dare I say they're built for playoff weather.
Hank?

Speaker 4 What? Tomlin, Big Ben, all the experience? Yeah. History.

Speaker 4 One more year. If David won that game.
One more year. Chase Claypool.
Still mad at Chase Claypool. Chase Claypool.
Although

Speaker 4 Billy's a Chase truther. Billy thinks that it wasn't his fault that they lost a game.
Billy thinks that it should have been a

Speaker 4 seem-like penalty

Speaker 4 against the Vikings for knocking the ball out of his hand. Yeah, that's just a heads-up point.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but if he had just brought the ball back to the middle of the field, that never would have happened. Well, you know, it was waiting until the ref got there.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no, no. no.
Because he could have done that little celebration, then the ref would have got there. They kind of got a place.

Speaker 4 Oh, so you're actually just saying the quote that Chase Claypool said. Yeah.
Okay, got it. So you're a mouthpiece for Chase Claypool.
Yeah, because that's exactly what he said.

Speaker 4 I know, but then Chase Claypool thought that his teammate knocked the ball out. That's why he was freaking out.
Like, why would you knock the ball out? But it was really the Vikings.

Speaker 4 You're just

Speaker 4 a PR flack for Chase Claypool. You're saying what he said.
I know, but it also should have been a penalty.

Speaker 4 Just looking at the tape. No.

Speaker 4 He was an idiot, and he cost them that game. I will stand by that.
Yeah, if it wasn't for that, I would say Steelers.

Speaker 4 But now I'm going to say the Browns, even though I think we've been saying for the last few weeks that the Browns look like they're probably going to be the odd man out in that division. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I don't know anymore. Also, each team has a pretty tough

Speaker 4 end of the schedule to them. So, man.
Oh, also, I just realized. It's going to be fun to watch.

Speaker 4 It's the Grey Cup tonight. Yeah.
And in Canada, the clock stops after every play. Chase Claypool's Canadian.
Got it. He's still dealing with the transition, the cultural difference.
That makes sense.

Speaker 4 And Billy saw him at Santa Con on Saturday. No, he actually was there.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Totally.

Speaker 4 Was he? Yeah. Oh, okay.
I want to go to Santa Con next year. My buddy had to turn it over.
Before you exit 30. You should do it before you turn 30.
Yeah, absolutely do it.

Speaker 4 All right, next up.

Speaker 4 Cowboys Washington football team.

Speaker 4 I think the big big story today coming out of the DMV area is that we're all praying for Lamar Jackson's ankle. I think you got to think about people's health first and foremost.
Got it.

Speaker 4 But there was also this game today.

Speaker 4 Taylor Heineke was, again, bad Taylor Heineke. He goes back and forth sometimes.
Very bad Taylor Heineke. Now,

Speaker 4 this game swung on the benches.

Speaker 4 Clearly, if the football team had the benches that Jerry Jones imported from Dallas, Texas, he put them on a plane, flew them first class from Dallas to Washington, D.C.

Speaker 4 You actually kicked some troops off the plane. Probably kicked troops off the plane.
Yeah. Flew into Reagan, took them up on a bus, put them in our stadium.
That's the difference right there.

Speaker 4 We were not prepared to deal with defending against not only a 53-man roster, but also their own benches that they bring from home.

Speaker 4 When that story hit Twitter this morning, it was a true touchgrass moment where people were getting upset about benches. And I was like,

Speaker 4 Am I missing something here? What's the big issue? People were like Jerry Jones, say what you want about him, but I was a fan until he had those benches go under the sideline.

Speaker 4 The worst thing that he's ever done is providing his players with a comfortable place to sit. But honestly, like, it's a good decision for Jerry Jones,

Speaker 4 knowing the facilities that we have in Ral John, Maryland. Right.
That's if you, if you get to pick where your team can sit, keep them away from all the sewage pipes. Yes.
That's number one.

Speaker 4 And also, you know, everything at field level, we've seen what that field can do. The benches.
So, yeah, I don't have a problem with what Jerry Jones did at all.

Speaker 4 If you don't like it, then bring your own. It sounds like a bunch of broke boys who don't own benches

Speaker 4 that are complaining about it. There was another serious pregame story that had people worried, too, PFT.
What's that? Oh, the hat. Michael.
Oh. The hat.
Yeah, the hat. I found the hat, though.

Speaker 4 I found the hat. The hat was...
Remember when we... You got to burn the hat.
When we went to Buffalo? I think that played a factor.

Speaker 4 You had people worried. I wasn't warmed up with hat.
The hat didn't have enough time to prepare for this game.

Speaker 4 But when we went to Buffalo, I put a different hat, a warmer hat on over it at times because it was very cold there.

Speaker 4 And I was literally doing hat on hat football and i didn't think to check inside the old hat so on saturday when i'm looking for the rg3 hat it was nowhere to be found i found it this morning i felt good but yeah my my whole vibe with the hat was messed up going into the game it was a short week for the hat yeah so yeah unfortunately well the hat's still 13 and oh in its last 13 games against the spread that it's picked got it But it hasn't gambled on any of those games.

Speaker 4 But it hasn't bet on any of those games or won any money. It's an asterisk.
But I do it not for me, big cap, but for the people. Right.
But if you bet on them, then it really matters. Right.
Right.

Speaker 4 But it matters for people out there. For the people that are listening.

Speaker 4 Mike McCarthy, he goes down.

Speaker 4 When you list them, it's like Joe Namath, Super Bowl III, Mark Messier, Eastern Conference Finals, 1994. Jim Harbaugh, 1986, Michigan, Ohio State.
Paul the Octopus.

Speaker 4 And Mike McCarthy, week 14 against Taylor Heineke, guaranteeing a win. It really went out on a limb on that one.
You kind of wasted it, Mike. You kind of wasted your guarantee of a win.

Speaker 4 I don't think you can do it again. And you used it week 14 against Taylor Heineke.
Whoops. All right, so at halftime, Washington had 29 yards of total offense.

Speaker 4 Taylor Heineke was 2 for 12 for 19 yards. He looked very bad in the first half.
Very, very bad.

Speaker 4 But then he did have that one sweet point downfield where he was just, he had all the time in the world in the backfield. And he pointed his finger up at, he pointed like to God.

Speaker 4 He was like, he was like tapping God on the shoulder, like, watch this. It's me, your finest creation.
You're going to be very proud of me with this throw.

Speaker 4 And then he underthrew, I think it was Terry McLaurin by like 17 yards. The quarter got him concussed.
Was that the one that got him concussed?

Speaker 4 That was a different one that Terry caught that was also underthrown. But he did, it was a sweet point.
He was like, he called a shot. I'm throwing the ball straight up in the air.

Speaker 4 And anytime you see a quarterback do that, you know that it's about to be really fucked up. Well, here's what I'll say in defense of Taylor Heineke.

Speaker 4 The Cowboys are finally healthy on defense, and the combo of Randy Gregory and Demarcus Lawrence, like that is a, like, they couldn't block anyone.

Speaker 4 They couldn't block Michael Parsons all over the field. They could not block anyone.
It was crazy to watch.

Speaker 4 So the Cowboys, like, that game was way more about the Cowboys, and Dak actually was not very good. No.
Dak was off, but the Cowboys' defense, like, they obviously gave up some yards in garbage time.

Speaker 4 The pick six made it look closer than it actually was.

Speaker 4 But the Cowboys' defense, like, if those guys stay healthy and they're playing like that, they are now, it's crazy to think how loaded the NFC is in terms of contenders and how weak the AFC is in relation.

Speaker 4 But yeah, the Cowboys, like that, I walked away from that game thinking the Cowboys are back to being for real, for real, because that defense won that game, not the offense with all of the weapons that we all talk about.

Speaker 4 Also, credit, Hank, Stu Feiner, helped us out sniffing out that rat line, the biggest rat line of the week.

Speaker 4 Because it did, like, going into that game, you're like, well, how are the Washington football team four and a half point dogs? I mean, I knew that.

Speaker 4 I think on Friday's show, I was like, this point spread actually seems too low for me. I feel like the Cowboys should have been favored by more than four and a half.

Speaker 4 And then at kickoff, it moved up to six and a half points.

Speaker 4 There was the fumble six on defense, and then we got to pick six. And then Antonio Gibson had that fumble in the second half.
Those are the plays that... changed the outcome of this game.

Speaker 4 I'm still bullish on the offs for the Washington football team. Oh, are you? We're still in the offs right now.
If the season ended today, it would be Playoff City.

Speaker 4 I think we moved down to the seventh seed today. If we win out, if we win our games against the Eagles and then win against the Giants,

Speaker 4 not easy, but we can still lose to the Cowboys again. And then, well, maybe we'll bring our own benches to Arlington, see if Jerry likes that.
Give him his own medicine.

Speaker 4 But if we win those two games against the Eagles and then win against the Giants and still lose to the Cowboys, I think chances are still pretty good that we're going to be that seventh seed.

Speaker 4 I don't think you're going to win both games against the Cowboys. I know.
I'm just saying that's the roadmap. Got it.
There's a clear roadmap. I'm doing my Cornaki right now.

Speaker 4 Hey, maybe, I mean, it's a cluttered, cluttered field in those last few spots for the NFC playoffs.

Speaker 4 We also see

Speaker 4 our defense, let's see what the stat is here.

Speaker 4 Out of our available defensive ends, they've collectively had 129 defensive snaps in the NFL. So that's one, two, three, four guys that have only played 129 snaps going into today.

Speaker 4 None of them were starters going into today. Two undrafted guys, and then

Speaker 4 excuse making.

Speaker 4 No, I'm recapping the game. Got it.
I'm recapping the game.

Speaker 4 And then also, there was a

Speaker 4 defense wasn't - your offense was the problem. Yeah, no, I'm just recapping the game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.
I'm just recapping the game. Because the defense has been playing well.

Speaker 4 Taylor Heineke probably banged up right now. But you know what? I don't even mind Taylor Heineke having these shitty games because this is all part of the Taylor Heineke experience.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 It was truly shitty. It was truly shitty, especially that first half was just

Speaker 4 he got to a point where every pass felt like it was going to be disaster. Yeah.
Every single pass.

Speaker 4 And I think there were like two or three maybe dropped interceptions off Taylor Heineke passes in that first half. It could have been a lot worse than as bad as that first half ended up being.

Speaker 4 Also, there was a pair of scissors on the field. That's not safe.
Not safe. Not safe.
What did your parents tell you about running with scissors?

Speaker 4 But I think, yeah, the Cowboys, to me, the biggest part of this game was the Cowboys defense and the Cowboys, like starting with a bad Dak performance, they win.

Speaker 4 Obviously, again, if you look at the score, you're like, oh, that was pretty close. It wasn't close.

Speaker 4 And Dak, if he plays a little bit better, they're fucking, they're going to be a really, really tough team to beat. Yeah, Skip Bayless was stunting a little bit, too.

Speaker 4 You called it Skip Bayless, he was pumped after that. Yeah, this is the game.
Remember, I said this is like the game that people will walk away from and say, ooh, watch out for the Cowboys.

Speaker 4 The Cowboys, they're starting to put it back together. They're getting healthy.

Speaker 4 All right, next up. Again, big story out of the DMV is Lamar Jackson.
Lamar Jackson. That's what we're concerned about.
We're hoping it gets better.

Speaker 4 All right, next up, speaking of another team that everyone's going to be talking about on Monday, the Chiefs Chiefs do it again, dominate the Raiders 48-9.

Speaker 4 The last, since the Titans beat the Chiefs and embarrassed them, remember that 27-3 game? The Chiefs have given up 17 points, 7 points, 14, 9, 9, 9.

Speaker 4 They've given up 10 points a game, 10.8 points a game. Their defense is insane.
They had five turnovers forced today.

Speaker 4 Frank Clark and Chris Jones together are an absolute monster. Oh, Oh my God, the Bears just fumbled again.
They picked it up. They got it.
That was...

Speaker 4 Everything that was happening that was good is now bad. Like, they're holding on special teams.
They're fumbling. Good job, Cole Komet.
You're a fucking legend. Yeah, this game is bad.

Speaker 4 It's going to get really bad. I think the Packers are going to win by 30.
And there's only like 10 minutes left. That was a sick fumble recovery, though.
The Bears do leave. You can't teach that.

Speaker 4 You can't teach that. Draft pick warranted.

Speaker 4 Cole Komet. Shout out.
You get one star of the game. All right, so the Chiefs.
The Chiefs are, like,

Speaker 4 they're just fine. They're good again.
They're really, really good again. They are good.
They're really good. They're very good again.
Yeah. It's like, oh, shit, the Chiefs.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 You remember that team that we were all afraid of? Yeah. We had a nice little vacation from being afraid of the Chiefs.
We got to pretend that Patrick Mahomes sucked.

Speaker 4 We got to say their defense was historically bad. You know what? It was fun.

Speaker 4 I actually think credit to us as members of the media for getting this Chiefs team back on the right track because we had a good probably five or six weeks.

Speaker 4 We just got to motherfuck the Bill or the Chiefs the entire time. And dragging them down like that, I think that's good for them.
I think they needed to have a little bit of that.

Speaker 4 They had too much wet suck for about two and a half years, and everybody was just like, the Chiefs, they can just score at will. They're unstoppable.
This is the new dynasty.

Speaker 4 I know Hank was upset because everyone was saying like Patrick Mahomes has taken the torch from Tom Brady.

Speaker 4 Turns out that

Speaker 4 maybe giving them a little bit of that yummy rat poison was a good thing for him. Yeah, and I don't want, I know Chiefs fans will probably get cocky again and be like, yeah, we're awesome.

Speaker 4 No, no, I remember there was a little bit of panic. There was a little bit of panic in those first two months when the defense was historically bad and the offense looked like shit.

Speaker 4 Now you're back to even here. You're fighting for the

Speaker 4 one seed and the buy. Thursday night's going to be awesome.
Chiefs charger is going to be,

Speaker 4 it's going to decide the AFC West.

Speaker 4 Let's do whose spread is it anyway for the over-under. Oh, I'm going to say this defense has been insane.
Yeah, I'm still going to say 54.5. No, not that high.
I'm going to say 51.

Speaker 4 51.

Speaker 4 And Chargers, it's at Chargers. Whose line is it anyway? Chiefs minus 2.5.
No, I think it's a pick'em.

Speaker 4 Give it to us. It is Chiefs minus 3.5 over under 49.5.
That was close. I went wrong.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 That was, yeah, that's okay. So take the Chargers.
Take the Chargers and take the over. according, because I'm not going to bet on it.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 you have six points in your model. Yeah, so the deep numbers are telling me take the Chargers, take the over on that.
Yeah, wow, that's a they posted a bad number. They did, yeah.

Speaker 4 According to your model. My book would not have that number.
Yes. But yeah,

Speaker 4 the Chiefs are back. And I hate that the Raiders had that big.

Speaker 4 When did the Raiders have that big win against the Chiefs where they took the buses or I think it was two years ago?

Speaker 4 That's in my head that I'm thinking, oh, the Raiders kind of have the Chiefs number. No, no, no, no, they don't.
Yeah, they always play the Chiefs tough numbers.

Speaker 4 The Chiefs have killed the Raiders twice in the last month and a half. Because if you always have a team's number, you don't circle their stadium with your buses after.

Speaker 4 You just drive back to the airport and you go home soberly. And I was so mad at it.
It was like a business trip. Because I was like, I'll bet the Chiefs.
I'm going to bet the Chiefs.

Speaker 4 Oh, but the Raiders always play them tough. No, no, no.
They played them tough once

Speaker 4 two years ago. You know what the people at the PA system in Kansas City did after the game when the Raiders were walking off the field? They played the wheels on the bus go round and round.

Speaker 4 So anti-football pussies in the Chiefs organization making fun of John Gruden. I'm going to say something about the Raiders.

Speaker 4 When you have everyone get hyped on the Chiefs logo before the game, you can't lose 48-9 because we know

Speaker 4 we've been doing this a long time. You never touch another man's logo.

Speaker 4 It's like

Speaker 4 don't sleep with your friend's wife. Don't step on your friend's logo.
It was easy. You just don't do that.

Speaker 4 Well, anytime that you're taking a pregame page out of the playbook of Jackson Mahomes, it's probably a bad idea. And so that, I have to say that that was probably, it sounds like a Will Compton idea.

Speaker 4 Will is on the Raiders now. He was probably like, you know what? I'm a big social media star.
You know, it would be good for engagement if we went on the logo and stomped around. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't know if Will played today.

Speaker 4 I hope he didn't. No, I don't think so.
Although he'd be a great scapegoat if they cut him immediately and they're like, well, we tried modeling our entire defense around centerpiece Will Compton.

Speaker 4 And it didn't miss what happened.

Speaker 4 Shout out to Boyd. Shout out to Boyd's.
Very happy for you. Boy on PFT just said mean things about you I'm just saying

Speaker 4 from a strategic standpoint it would be smart for the Raiders said you want to cut him yeah if he played but I don't think he played today I did he play can we get that's the problem that's the issue big cat he didn't play the boy needs more minutes I think he played I think I saw him in jersey in a jersey which means he probably was at least on special teams I think the boy needs more minutes that's the issue that's yeah they probably would have stopped him they probably would have shut him down it was scoregami though today oh yeah shout out Jake Jake didn't get the picture with the TV had a very sad score of gami.

Speaker 4 Memes stood up to take his picture after the game as is tradition and memes was a good I don't know what he was doing. He was standing there just like frozen.

Speaker 4 I think the moment was too big for him and he was trying to take your picture and just he botched it. Yeah, it was tough.
By the way, full disclosure, my stomach is making weird noises.

Speaker 4 It's not a fart if you happen to hear us want to get ahead of it just in case. Oh wow.
That's what a guy who is about to fart would say. Jake Sneaky's the one who's been ripping ass all these times.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 Jake, you. I'm just saying he can't handle any of the food we order, and then he's just ripping ass.
A verbal meme. Jake explaining to a girl in a bar, my stomach just hurts.
It's actually not me.

Speaker 4 It's not a fart. That's the smell you smell.
Yeah. Don't worry about it.
Things are happening.

Speaker 4 But yeah, it was still a swirl on me. It'll forever be in the history books.
It wasn't, it wasn't.

Speaker 4 It sure wasn't there. The picture didn't do it.
The sad picture that you had me take was you in front of your computer. You were holding up your computer.
It's pathetic. Yeah.
Next device up. Justin.

Speaker 4 Instead of next man up, next device up. I almost spat your skin.

Speaker 4 The computer was ready to roll. Next device up.

Speaker 4 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 I have a stat. Oh, Josh Gordon scored a touchdown.
Good for him. He's back.
He's on the Chiefs. I can't wait till he scores another touchdown in a primetime game.
Maybe Thursday night.

Speaker 4 And everyone says, the Chiefs have Josh Gordon. That's not fair.
You know what? That's actually how I lost a good amount of my money this year.

Speaker 4 I kept betting Josh Gordon to get a touchdown in a primetime game. Because I was like, Andy Reid would love to do this.

Speaker 4 Because he always likes to find that one guy. Usually it's like Byron Pringle, the the week that everybody forgets about him.
You're like, oh, yeah, that guy's on the team, too. He's fast.

Speaker 4 Or like their second tight end that he's, you know, they'll throw two touchdown passes to.

Speaker 4 I kept thinking that Andy Reid's going to want to show off his new toy, and then they just, it just never happened. Yeah.
So, but good for him. Good for Josh Gordon.
I have a stat for you.

Speaker 4 Derek Carr, a pro-Derek Carr stat. I don't know, it's hard to do after a game like today,

Speaker 4 but since Derek Carr became the starter of the Raiders, they have given up 26.6 points per game. That's first in the NFL.
They've also had 319 defensive penalties resulting in first downs.

Speaker 4 That's also first in the NFL. So essentially, free Derek Carr.
Free Derek Carr. Free Derek Carr.
He is not that bad. He just has played with a historically terrible defense.

Speaker 4 I've actually, I've come around a lot on Derek Carr. I used to make a lot of fun of Derek Carr, but the last few seasons, I think he's good.
I think Derek Carr is a very good quarterback.

Speaker 4 And you know what sucks, though, is because ever since whatever the Derek Carr version of Tuanon has been very vocal about him actually being a good quarterback and not throwing interceptions, ever since they put that in my head and I looked up his stats, and they're right, he doesn't throw interceptions.

Speaker 4 So guess what?

Speaker 4 He just started to throw interceptions all of a sudden once I learned that Derek Carr does not throw interceptions.

Speaker 4 It's like literally buying a new car, no pun intended, and then seeing that car everywhere. Yeah, or I drove it off the lot.
Yeah. And all of a sudden, the resale value just plummets.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're paying attention, and now it's just interceptions left and right. I've got to use Carr.
But yeah,

Speaker 4 it's important to point out that it's not Derek Carr's fault because Derek Carr, it feels like every single season goes the exact same way.

Speaker 4 The first month and a half, everyone says, oh my God, the Raiders are playing well. And the Raiders are one of those teams that everyone wants them to be good because it's fun when they're good.

Speaker 4 And it's, you know, you get Mark Davis in prime time wearing weird shit with Cheetos on his fingers, acting like a creep. You get all that shit, right?

Speaker 4 And then somewhere in, you know, week 10, the Raiders start to fade and everyone's like, well, Derek Carr stinks. No, his whole team stinks.

Speaker 4 And also Darren Waller's out and that's like half of the throws.

Speaker 4 And also, Tyran Matthew, we should give him some credit, too, because it's just amazing how some people continue to be in the right place at the right time all the time. Yes.
He's just...

Speaker 4 People say like football instincts, and usually that's just a lazy way to be like, okay, I don't know how to describe describe the type of leverage that this cornerback is playing.

Speaker 4 But Tyra Matthew actually has instincts. Yes.
I think his ancestors, ancestors, ancestors played some form of football

Speaker 4 to the point where he's attracted to footballs. Yes.
Yes. He's all around it.

Speaker 4 It's absolutely true.

Speaker 4 There are some guys you can't.

Speaker 4 You can't do analytics about it. It's almost like the clutch gene.
You just can't, you don't know how to explain it. Peanut Tillman was the same way.
Like, you don't know how to explain it.

Speaker 4 They're just always around the ball. They're always making plays.

Speaker 4 Um, that's a good, that's a very good point. Uh, okay, before we get to our next game, quick word for one of our sponsors, PFT, you got that?

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance? You ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt, Age four years in bourbon barrels. Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 4 Okay, we're back. Update.
The Bears third and seven. They're down 11.
This game has just gotten boring

Speaker 4 and the Bears suck, and now they're going to go for it on fourth down, probably.

Speaker 4 Not get it. Aaron Rodgers will score going the other way.
It's going to end up being a 17 to 24 point loss. Hank, how are your parlays going?

Speaker 4 Not good because you need Devontae Adams to score another touchdown. That's all I need.
You're just

Speaker 4 doing the fantasy football one

Speaker 4 parlay? No. Oh, okay.
You just need that. I just need, well, yeah, and the Packers minus 13.5, but assuming that if Devontae Adams scores another touchdown, that would win it all.

Speaker 4 That was factored into your model. Do you have any other bets on this game? Packers.
Just Packers minus 12? Yeah. So they're not covering right now.
No, I knew Devontae Adams.

Speaker 4 The Bears are punting on fourth and inches.

Speaker 4 Down 11.

Speaker 4 4 and 8. They're pretty far away.

Speaker 4 Oh! Oh! Oh! Touchdowns! Yes! That's why you punt! Wait, no, you can't advance that. But that doesn't matter.
That's why you punt. That's why you do the coward's punt.

Speaker 4 The bears just recovered the fumble. Punt away.
Muffed it. That's why you coward punt.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. That was a great moment to capture mush me.
That's too bad, Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All-time punt. I'm sorry.
No, I'm happy. Honestly, I'm happy.
Oh, the refs are talking it over. The bears would, I'm happy.
That's why you coward. Takes off their hat.
It's just a crazy thing.

Speaker 4 They just don't know what's going on. They throw the beanbag, then the hat, and they're like, we'll just get back to this later.

Speaker 4 I always think that the bald refs have a little, there's always a pause before they have to throw their hat. They're like, was that really worth calling? Can I get away with it?

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Oh, no. False start? It was a false start.
On your punter? Are you fucking serious? I can't believe they put up the flag graph. Why did they even let them punt? Why didn't they just stop?

Speaker 4 Are you kidding me? On the gunner?

Speaker 4 What's the call? That.

Speaker 4 That's... What? That's the call? Did he...
No, they...

Speaker 4 That was a false start motion that they did. Serious?

Speaker 4 Isn't illegal formation kind of the same thing? Oh my god.

Speaker 4 I got the perfect motion.

Speaker 4 This is the refs doing fuck shit. NFL rigged.
Yeah, no, this is one of those things.

Speaker 4 Oh, right off his face, too. How is that possible? What is that called? Yeah, that's not illegal formation.
This is a Cassius Marsh type situation. That's such bullshit.
That's such bullshit.

Speaker 4 And now we're back to coward punting. I didn't see him move.

Speaker 4 Unbelievable. On the bright side, they're not punting on fourths and inches anymore.
That's great. Thanks, Jake.

Speaker 4 Jake always knows how to put a smile on her face. He's good at that.
He's really good at the positive thinking. What the fuck was that?

Speaker 4 That was a bullshit call. A bullshit call.
Oh, someone just tweeted a picture of the ref doing the Lambo leap. I'm going to retweet that.

Speaker 4 Yep. That's true.
That's a fact. They should have...
Ball don't lie, give us a roughing the punter. Yeah, they owe you one.

Speaker 4 Fuck that. Oh, I owe you one.
It's coming. Next game.
This is going to be one of the games that we're very excited to talk about.

Speaker 4 The Titans and the Jaguars. Yes.
Let's get the Titans out of the way. Good job, Titans.
You won a game. Let's talk about the Jaguars.
Urban Meyer had quite a last few days.

Speaker 4 So, the walls are coming in. The walls are caving in on our boy, Urban Meyer.

Speaker 4 Urban Meyer had a report come out on Friday, I believe, might have been Saturday, that said he is, everyone in the building hates him. He had a fight with Marvin Jones Jr.

Speaker 4 He had a meeting with all of his assistant coaches and essentially called them all losers to their face and made them defend their resume.

Speaker 4 Made them defend their resume. That's usually what you do before you hire somebody is you ask them to tell, tell me about your resume.
Tell me about your resume. But no, he's doing this.

Speaker 4 He didn't hire them, did he?

Speaker 4 Yeah, he did hire them. And here's a fun fact for you, PFTs.
Maybe they lied on their resume.

Speaker 4 Maybe Brian Schottenheimer was like, I've led the league in offense for seven years straight, and Urban Meyer just was too trusting of a person. Yeah.
And he didn't call and check the references.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 he just took it at face value. So he made them defend their resume.
Now, obviously, Urban Meyer is a great coach in college. This is unfortunately not college.
This is the NFL.

Speaker 4 Urban Meyer is, what is he, 2-13, 2-12? I don't even know anymore. 2-12? Well, he's won two games.
He's won two games.

Speaker 4 He's overcome the losers on his seat.

Speaker 4 For two games.

Speaker 4 His staff has 24 coaches on it. Urban Meyer has a better winning percentage in the NFL than one single coach on his staff.

Speaker 4 So if you're actually talking about resume in the NFL, every single guy pretty much has a better resume than him, including three guys who have Super Bowls as coaches in the NFL.

Speaker 4 So Urban Meyer is saying,

Speaker 4 you guys are losers when in actuality, he's the second to last biggest loser in that room. But that's only because the losers turned on him.
Right.

Speaker 4 So I don't know if we can, we can't, we kind of have to throw Urban's record book out. I still believe that Urban Meyer could be a great coach.
It sounds like you're one of the

Speaker 4 losers that hates Urban Meyer. I'm not a loser.
Yes. I think that Urban Meyer is doing a fantastic job in Jacksonville.
He's just, you know what? He's the most persecuted man in the world.

Speaker 4 Wouldn't it be funny if he was right, if all of his coaches were actively losing plotting against him and Urban Meyer was just, by the way, way, it's so sad to watch him on the sidelines.

Speaker 4 No, I love it. I love that the camera just sticks on him.
I'm actually looking up right now. He has no friends in the world.
I wish they had a primetime. His wife hates him.
Well, yeah,

Speaker 4 she had to quit Twitter because of him.

Speaker 4 They should honestly flex him to primetime.

Speaker 4 I would love, because the camera does...

Speaker 4 do a great job of finding Urban Meyer

Speaker 4 during these games when he's just so depressed and he's just looking down.

Speaker 4 Maybe has like a little brain hemorrhage going on i don't know but he is it's it's great i just need the camera to stick on him after the game he gave the limpest handshake uh dead eyes to mike vrabel just blew right by him there's a look away if patrick mahomes does that we all freak out it's beautiful it's fucking beautiful and then the eyes that he had yeah he was he looks like he's already dead yeah i'd say he has a thousand yard stare but i know that he won't give the ball to his running back james robinson nearly enough yeah to even crack 800.

Speaker 4 No, absolutely not.

Speaker 4 I mean, Trevor Lawrence has been ruined.

Speaker 4 The team looked like they had the rare case today where two receivers ran the same route and bumped in, like knocked into each other, which is always very funny to watch. That's a well-coached team.

Speaker 4 After the game, he said, What's the answer? Starting leaking some information or nonsense, that's garbage. If there is a source, then that source is unemployed.
I mean, within seconds.

Speaker 4 So Urban Meyer, very, very smart of him. He just fired himself.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 he's looking to fire somebody. He'll probably fire somebody just because he needs a scapegoat right now.
Yes. His first person that looks at him wrong, he'll be like, you're the leaker.

Speaker 4 He also said after the game, losing sucks. It's all I can tell you.
It eats away at your soul. So if, yeah,

Speaker 4 I think winning also sucks for Urban. I think he just hate, he doesn't like coaching football, even when he's successful at it.
Okay, so here's what I'm going to say to maybe help out Urban.

Speaker 4 There's two things. One is

Speaker 4 they get to play the Texans and the Jets next. So maybe they get a win there.
I don't know. Two,

Speaker 4 I have a solution of what you need to look for. So this is the three keys to examining or figuring out what is going on with a struggling team.
Number one, trust issues.

Speaker 4 Number two, dysfunctional environment. Number three, selfishness.
And this was told to me by three-time national champion, Urban Meyer. Yeah, he knows.
So he knows. He knows.

Speaker 4 He told you he's knocked all these three down. So you can go find him and fix this goddamn thing, Urban Meyer.
No, he's actually just going to quit or get fired. I think he'll probably

Speaker 4 do it. Like, fake a maybe

Speaker 4 health issue. COVID.
COVID. Yeah, he's going to get hanging out in those college bars.
It's tough to say that you want to be with your family when your whole family's grown.

Speaker 4 Maybe he's like, you know what, he needs to have one of his kids have a kid because then he can be like, I just want to be a grandpa. I don't want to misgraduate his grandfather.

Speaker 4 Some jobs are more important than coaching football. Because right now, I think all football is for him, is an excuse for him to get out of his house.
Right. And yell at people.
And yell at people.

Speaker 4 Right. Like, get rid of the people.
Don't forget yelling.

Speaker 4 He loves yelling at people for sure. Urban Meyer,

Speaker 4 I don't know what... what happens with his contract.
This is where all the big money that's spent on coaches and coaches' contracts in the NFL are pretty secret.

Speaker 4 You don't really know the buyouts or the clauses that they have in them when you want to get rid of a coach.

Speaker 4 So right now, I think Shad Khan is just like waiting to say, surely Urban Meyer will resign at some point.

Speaker 4 Hopefully this man has some degree of shame. But Urban Meyer, I don't think that he does.
He doesn't quit jobs. He just, he has medically dubious reasons for leaving them.
You're right.

Speaker 4 And he usually, the thing is, he usually has his next job lined up, which is when you can count on him. So he just needs to be offered a job.
Ryan Day to the Bears.

Speaker 4 Urban Meyer goes home to Ohio State. Okay.
Why not? I could see it happening. Why not? Yeah, he

Speaker 4 I think maybe he'll just leave.

Speaker 4 He'll just leave the Jaguars and not say anything and just like turn off his phone and turn off his TV and go to the lake house for three days and then pop back up, sit next to Brady Quinn, and Bob Stoops

Speaker 4 on the set. Just pretend like nothing ever happened.
Yeah, just be like, what's up, guys? How was your year? Because right now, everybody in that locker room, everybody in that facility hates him.

Speaker 4 Hates him. He has no friends.
Zero friends. And he's going to go into work.
He's going to feel like he's in the bunker. The Allies are on the west.
The Russians are on the east.

Speaker 4 We need to bring back the Hitler getting mad at his subordinate speech. Remember that when they used to dub that over? Hot

Speaker 4 year straight. It was really hot.
We need to have Urban Meyer yelling at all of his assistants down in the bunker, blaming them. Yes.
Somebody do that for me.

Speaker 4 I guarantee you numbers. Memes, if you're listening.
Yeah, memes will do it for us. Memes got it.

Speaker 4 Stat for you for everyone out there who might like to gamble.

Speaker 4 This one shocked me. I wish we had figured it out a lot earlier.
Jaguars team totals are 12 and 1 this year.

Speaker 4 That's pretty good. Under.
12 and 1. Okay.
12 and 1 to the under. That's insane.
I wish I had just given it out as a mortal lock every single week. Jaguars team total under 12 and 1.

Speaker 4 What was their win against the Texans?

Speaker 4 Their win against the Texans, they scored. They won 37, or no, they lost 37-21 to the Texans.
They haven't played them again. They haven't beaten the Texans.
Oh, that's right, yeah.

Speaker 4 They've beaten the Dolphins 23-20.

Speaker 4 I assume that's when it happened. And then they beat the Bills, which is

Speaker 4 an all-time head scratcher 9-6.

Speaker 4 Maybe they got it in the Bengals game when they lost 24-21. That was actually a fun game, that Thursday night game.
Remember that? That was right before he went and fingered the butthole.

Speaker 4 But yeah, Urban Meyer and that whole team.

Speaker 4 I feel bad for that team. They need to, like, they should get, they should get a bonus.

Speaker 4 Like, we give out Super Bowl bonuses, be like, hey, here's a bonus for having to deal with Urban Meyer for a year. Yeah, there was also that report that Trevor Lawrence hates him, too.
So

Speaker 4 Trevor Lawrence was like,

Speaker 4 why are you benching our best running back? Why can't... Because Urban Meyer wants to give Carlos Hyde touches because they go way back.

Speaker 4 Carlos Hyde probably knows where all the bodies are buried at Ohio State. So Urban's like, no, I had, remember I had to bring Tebow in because he's got too much dirt on me.
This is his new Tebow.

Speaker 4 I'm going to give Carlos Hyde some shine so that he keeps his mouth shut about the keep your mouth shut things that we've got discussed. He's got to bring in Cardell Jones.
Yeah, that would be nice.

Speaker 4 DC defender legend. Billy, I'm going to give you a shout-out.

Speaker 4 So we can't really judge rookie quarterbacks in their first year, especially when your coach is Urban Meyer. But as it stands right now, Trevor Lawrence does not look good.

Speaker 4 He had four interceptions today. And I think the worst part was I saw the stat.
He was seven for 19 for

Speaker 4 79 yards and three interceptions when he had more than two and a half seconds to throw.

Speaker 4 So that's like, when you're judging rookie quarterbacks, there's a lot of times it's like, hey, the game's moving too fast or their offensive line isn't good.

Speaker 4 He had time to throw at times and he still was really, really bad. He just like missed things.
There was a couple interceptions that are just gross.

Speaker 4 So, Billy, you were the first ever that I heard to say that Trevor Lawrence is a bust because he can't handle losing because he's won all his life. Credit to you.

Speaker 4 You know who's going to end up having a long career in the NFL? Maybe not as a starter, but maybe a backup or journeyman? I'm Sam Elliot. Yeah, Sam Elinger.

Speaker 4 I never would have guessed that when you did it that way. So, based on your film breakdown, because I know you've done a lot of it on Trevor Lawrence, what are you seeing from him?

Speaker 4 I honestly couldn't see too much of him today because I was at the Jet game, but I'll break it down for tomorrow. Okay, great.
Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 4 Somebody printed out the front page of Google, who owns the Chicago Bears.

Speaker 4 And the first thing up was Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 4 They brought that printout to a game, Uh-huh. And then they put that print out on TV.
Really, really funny. Ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 4 I just really, really don't want Devontae Adams to score another touchdown. That truly is the lowest form of comedy when somebody edits Wikipedia now.
Uh-huh. And then you do the screenshot of the...

Speaker 4 It's that, and then maybe somebody seeming like they're

Speaker 4 shorter than they really are. I'm not bitter.
I'm not Wikipedia right now. It's those two things.
I'm not upset. This is just, it is what it is, okay? It is what it is.
The Bears suck.

Speaker 4 And that first half will just, I'll have that first half forever. That was a fun first half.
I enjoyed that first half. They should give you an option to just.
So did Matt Naggy. You should,

Speaker 4 they should give you an option to just say, enough. That was enough football for me.
I've had my filling. First half is all I need.
No more game.

Speaker 4 Like the Bears would, I would not have, no one would have held it against the Bears if they just didn't show up for the second half. No, quit while you're ahead.
It's been like, that was fun.

Speaker 4 We're done. We're done here.

Speaker 4 We played enough football.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 so that's uh the jaguars and the titans just urban mire who would have thought who would have thought this would have gone poorly oh everyone literally every single person i hope it gets worse yeah i hope it continues i hope that urban actually gets into a fist fight where's tom cable when you need him to punch the coach in the face this is why urban's like he's like michael scott honestly like as a manager in the episodes where michael's really fucking like every week is michael scott's urban achievers yeah or whatever that show is scott's tots

Speaker 4 That's what he deals with on a week-to-week week basis, just like a room filled of his players that absolutely hate his guts and he's promised them everything, but it turns out he's just a jerk.

Speaker 4 He should have them do the thing that they did in the office where they roasted Michael Scott. You know, like he's in the news being like, everyone's a bunch of losers.

Speaker 4 Tell you what, guys, let's bury the hatchet. Yeah.
We'll do a little turnaround. You guys, I can have some fun at my own expense.
You guys all get 30 minutes to just roast me, and it'll be great.

Speaker 4 It'll get very dark, very personal. Yes, Billy, the Jaguars situation just looked so good on paper.
Really? I don't know about that.

Speaker 4 You know, if you're just like to explain to someone, like, oh, we have the best quarterback coming out of college. Oh, that part, yeah, yeah, that part.

Speaker 4 If you explained it to someone who like didn't actually know football, like, that's how that gets signed up. You're actually just got a yacht.

Speaker 4 No, you're actually not wrong because a lot of the reason why the Jaguars look so bad right now is because of Urban Meyer. Yeah.
Like, he has caused a lot of this. Exactly.
The majority of them.

Speaker 4 Bring Doug Marone back. Yes.
You never knew how good you had it. Jaguars officially eliminated from the playoffs.
Three teams today. Lions, Texans, Jaguars.
All right, next up. Falcons, Panthers.

Speaker 4 Cam Newton's really, really bad.

Speaker 4 They kept going back and forth. It went like, okay, Cam sucks.
We're going to bench him. PJ Walker, you're coming in.
Oh, wait, you're PJ Walker. We're going to bench you.
Cam, you're coming in again.

Speaker 4 Oh, wait, yeah. That's the same Cam from earlier this game.
I recognize you. We're going to bench you and bring PJ back in again.

Speaker 4 I am starting starting to think that maybe Matt Rule is a little bit in over his head because he did the sacrificial lamb, fired his OC, Joe Brady, which we talked about last week.

Speaker 4 Like, what did you want Joe Brady to do? You had Sam Darnold, you had Cam Newton, you had PJ Walker, and you're like, hey, like, run your offense. Okay, that wasn't going to work.

Speaker 4 He then does the switching back and forth with the quarterbacks today, which made no sense. At first, I was like, oh, it's because Cam sucks.
But then they brought Cam Newton back in. He sucked again.

Speaker 4 Then they brought PJ Walker. Then they brought, like, it made no sense.
He was basically running a college

Speaker 4 offense where it's like, yeah, we'll do this change of pace quarterback. Really fuck him up.
No, both those guys stink, and you have completely like bungled this entire season.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was like Chris Leake and Tim Thibault, except both of your quarterbacks are Chris Leak. Right.
Right. Which doesn't really work in the NFL.
And throw like Tim Tebow. And throw like Tim Tebow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the worst. You had the immobility at this age of Chris Leake, and then the rocket arm of Tim Tebow.
And that's what you tried to win with. Yeah, they look sad.

Speaker 4 But that's kind of to be expected with the Panthers who have really built their entire offense for the last three years around Christian McCaffrey.

Speaker 4 Off really that one season and a half where Christian McCaffrey was probably one of the top five players in the entire NFL.

Speaker 4 He's really good when he's healthy, but then the problem is he's Christian McCaffrey. You can set your watch to him getting hurt.
All the time.

Speaker 4 And so now what do you do when you don't have Christian McCaffrey? Well, you have Chuba hubbard who's fine

Speaker 4 who no i mean he hasn't been that fine he's fine but he's not christian mccaffrey right right and um yeah cam since i looked it up since the uh game against the washing football team when he ran the ball all the way to the middle of the field and did his whole thing he's 32 for 60 one touchdown three picks and been really really bad and he had the the extra bonus today where he fell as he was coming from under center to give a handoff and instead of just falling and taking the sack on second down he like threw the ball at his running back, who, of course, fumbled it, and was like, what are you doing, dude?

Speaker 4 What are you doing? He's so bad. I just, in my head, is just constantly, Cam Newton didn't get an offer from 31 teams, Matthew Berry.
I just keep thinking about that.

Speaker 4 It's actually remarkable the job that Bill Belichick was able to do with Cameron. I actually now think

Speaker 4 this year is not as good. What?

Speaker 4 We're going to compliment Hank even when we're talking about how bad Cam Newton is. Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 It demonstrates to you what a great job Bill Belichick did last year. Did he win coach of the year last year? Nope.
Wow. That's disrespectful.
It is disrespectful.

Speaker 4 The Falcons, I got to give the Falcons a ton of credit because they're way better than I thought they'd be, and they've found a way. Like,

Speaker 4 I think we talked about it last week. They won't beat any good teams, but they will beat the teams that are on their level or worse.
And it's gotten them to six and seven.

Speaker 4 And I don't know, they got the Lions still in there. It probably gets a seven, maybe eight wins because they got the Saints as as well.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 Arthur Smith deserves a ton of credit because this team is not talented and they have absolutely overachieved. The level of beard that he had this week was perfect, too.
Yep.

Speaker 4 So when it gets too full and it's got all those

Speaker 4 Hank just got his touchdown to Devontae Adams. I hate him so much.
We knew that was going to happen. I told you that you just had to.
So now the Bears need to just score. They can't jinx them live.

Speaker 4 No, but the Bears need to score to then ruin his parlay. That's what we're looking for today.
That's what I'm looking for.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 I tried to score. You're parlaying, guys.

Speaker 4 to tell i tried to get you guys involved i'm sorry that's all i can do we had this perform last time you could have just not taken this parlay you know that right or just not sent it to me yeah i was never gonna take this parlay

Speaker 4 that was literally no hank hank i'm not being

Speaker 4 my rules are not being ridiculous no i you sent me a parlay that was an insult parlay to the bears but it was i couldn't i couldn't have been rooting for it imagine if i was rooting for it and hadn't sent it again we couldn't have that inside no because i would have been like all right he bet the packers what the fuck who cares he bet the Packers.

Speaker 4 I'm just trying to

Speaker 4 go by the book. I knew you were going to bet the Packers.
The insult parlay hurt. Shout out to everyone I tweeted out to.
Anyone else? All right, come on, Bears.

Speaker 4 Please fuck the cover. I'm sorry.
What do you want me to say? I'm sorry. The fact that I'm now rooting for just the Bears to cover just to fuck Hank is like,

Speaker 4 this is all I have. This is how bad it is.
It was an extremely arrogant parlay that Hank was. So arrogant.

Speaker 4 It was completely

Speaker 4 based off listening to Big Cat for the whole season.

Speaker 4 It was me. It was.
So then, if you were a good friend, you'd give me the money. Because I gave you the pick.
Big Cat's a shark. I gave you the pick.

Speaker 4 I gave you the pick.

Speaker 4 Sure. I gave you that entire pick.
That was my doing. I would have matched, too.
Yeah. I gave you the pick.
You could have matched. I sent it to you before.

Speaker 4 I would have matched. I gave you the pick.
I would not do that to my friend Big Cat. Please bear score.
Please. This would be so good.

Speaker 4 They're just bad, man.

Speaker 4 They're just so bad. And even the first half was like, ooh, they have some talent.
No, no, no, they suck. Get Matt Nagy out of here.
This has been war crime. It's back to war crime.

Speaker 4 Anyway, the Falcons, yeah, good job. Put Arthur Smith, perfect level of fuzz going right now.

Speaker 4 He doesn't have the full beard, which shows off the two-tone, like black and white salt and pepper thing that he has going on, which I can't really make rhyme or reason as to where the gray hair starts on his beard when it's grown in full.

Speaker 4 So having the fuzz is a good look. The clean shave is not a good look either.
Just keep it at this point, whatever it's at right now. Just buzz it.
Have your wife buzz it.

Speaker 4 I know you're listening right now, Arthur. Have your wife buzz it.
Keep it at this level. This is a winning football beard that you have.

Speaker 4 Also, I know, like, I have many signs that I'm getting old. I embrace my old age and getting older.

Speaker 4 Watching these games today, I was, yeah, you same, big time.

Speaker 4 I was very, like, half of the games, I couldn't see anything because of the shadows. Oh, yeah.
There was another one.

Speaker 4 Actually, on Saturday, I was at Army Navy Tailgate, and I asked the DJ if he could turn it down a little because I couldn't hear shit.

Speaker 4 There's some fucked up shadows that were going on in the early games today, where it was just at midfield. You couldn't mind going across the center of the field.
It was so hard to see.

Speaker 4 This was one of those games. It was bad.
It was bad. Also, big news coming out of this game, Bird teams now 211 and 209 over Cat teams.
Wow. So those two wins have come from the Falcons recently.

Speaker 4 Something to keep an eye on through the end of the year. That's huge.
Huge. All right.
Saints, Jets. Billy, you were there?

Speaker 4 It was very underwhelming. Yeah.
I thought we were going to see Taysom and Zach Wilson either put up crazy numbers or throw like a ton of interceptions. got neither.

Speaker 4 It was kind of like the Army football game, the Army-Navy game, except these guys are both throwing the ball a lot.

Speaker 4 So it was nothing like Army-Navy game. Yeah,

Speaker 4 like the same results, but without the...

Speaker 4 Well, no, that game was like a very close game. Yeah, like Navy won.
Yeah, very close game. Underdog won very closely, the favorite one in a blowout.
But anyway.

Speaker 4 Mincy showed me that Saints fans are actually hilarious and awesome to go to a game with. It's just people from Louisiana.
I know. Just like.
That's Brian Kelly's people, man. Yelling hood at.

Speaker 4 It was a very great time. Could totally see a little Mardi Gras kind of in the stadium.
But it was a great time to use the Barcelona Sportsbook live betting.

Speaker 4 Like the game was getting not interesting, but you were in the stadium in New Jersey. Yep.
So you were able to play some like

Speaker 4 next touchdown Taysom Hill hit, which is insane. That's awesome.

Speaker 4 And then I live bet the Jets plus 16, which was an absolute, you know, heartbreaker at the end where you got stopped on the one, which would have cashed that. Yeah.
But, you know, it was a great time.

Speaker 4 Great outing in Kimberland. Give me a scouting report on Zach live.
How did Zach Wilson look?

Speaker 4 You could actually see a lot of the reads he was missing

Speaker 4 better in real time, but they're there. And he's just got to progress.
So the receivers are open, but he's too dumb to see them.

Speaker 4 Yeah, when I are just staring at each other right now as the Bears get a couple first downs.

Speaker 4 This is a

Speaker 4 stare down of epic. You know what, Hank? I hope the Bears don't score.
There you go. I did the right thing.
I did the right thing. I hope the Bears don't score.
Look, and what happens right after?

Speaker 4 A fucking offside. False start.
So there you go. I hope the Bears don't score.
I'm happy for you, Hank. Good job.
Wait, Billy,

Speaker 4 what's your conclusion then?

Speaker 4 He had all of his favorite weapons out. I think the Jets still are going to be really pushing that.
He didn't throw any interceptions. Does he have a favorite weapon?

Speaker 4 No, but he's going to find one one day. This is great analysis of the Jets.

Speaker 4 It was like Army-Navy,

Speaker 4 but not.

Speaker 4 Saints fans cool. All his weapons out, but he didn't have any weapons anyway.
Exactly. That's a good, that's a good idea.
You had a good time, though. Yeah, it was hard.
I made the most of it.

Speaker 4 Almost through a pick, Justin Fields.

Speaker 4 Turns out Alvin Kamara is really fucking good. This is really, really important.

Speaker 4 Really, really important.

Speaker 4 He was insane today. He had 94 of the Saints

Speaker 4 first 129 yards in the first half. Like, it was, it was one of those.
I actually would, would you say non-QB offensive player, he might be the most important to like what a team does? I would say.

Speaker 4 I would say Michael Thomas when he gets back for the Saints. But Alvin Kamara does more than Michael Thomas.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 Captain Slant is probably.

Speaker 4 Does he play football or did he retire? I don't know where he is. Yeah, you're right.
But it's funny how

Speaker 4 running backs don't matter, but then the really, really good ones are like, oh, yeah, that that guy changes everything. Yeah, it's like Kamara and McCaffrey are two of those guys.

Speaker 4 They kind of play the exact same way too. Right.
Where they do everything. Yeah.
And when Kamara is on the field, yeah, he's definitely the most important player to that Saints offense.

Speaker 4 The defense looked good today, too. Saints' defense is back in action.
Yeah, and

Speaker 4 it's too little too late. Justin Fields is just running for his life, running for his life, running for a first down.
What a play. That's a great play.
That's a really good quarterback who can run.

Speaker 4 This offense looks like they're on a roll here. Yeah, they're on a roll.

Speaker 4 All right, yeah, so the Saints, probably too little, too late. I didn't realize the Saints had lost five in a row.
That was kind of shocking when it dawned on me because they're like good

Speaker 4 in close games.

Speaker 4 That's what happens when you lose Jameis Winston. They might be the worst, best.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 how did that.

Speaker 4 They're the best, worst team.

Speaker 4 I think they might be the worst good team.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay. Yeah.
Okay. I think they're the worst good.
Yeah, that's true. I mean, we're playing right on the ledge here.
On the edge, here. No, there's way you can go.
I'd say the Falcons are.

Speaker 4 Oh, David Montgomery just caught a ball that should have been intercepted 100 out of 100 times. Well, no, not 100 out of 100 times.
99. 99 and a half.
Because he caught that.

Speaker 4 I think the Falcons are. The Falcons are the best, worst team, but the Saints are the worst, best team.

Speaker 4 That's the difference. Yes, yes.
I would favor the Saints over the Falcons. Yes, I'd agree with you.
I'd agree with you. Saints still in playoff contention.
They are.

Speaker 4 Every team is in playoff contention. Every team is in playoff contention.
Except for the Jets.

Speaker 4 The Jets, the Lions, and the Texans are all. Oh, no, the Jets are not eliminated.
No, they are. Mathematics continues.
They are eliminated. Okay, sorry.
And the Jags, too. Yeah.
Don't have to be.

Speaker 4 Jets, Jags, Texans, Lions. Converting to Mormonism for another year.
That's right, yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 4 I'm kind of upset about that. Mathematically eliminated from Mormonism for now.
How are you feeling, Hank?

Speaker 4 I feel like the Bears are going to score. Oh, and Justin Fields got hurt.
Fuck. You've got to be kidding me.

Speaker 4 Oh, he's doing push-ups right in everyone's face. He's fine.
That was awesome.

Speaker 4 He was like, that was the meme of like someone call the ambulance, but not for me. Yep.

Speaker 4 Schefter just kind of got you. He said, with Sunday Night's performance, Aaron Rodgers now has acquired an even greater share of the Chicago Bears Purse Horses.

Speaker 4 Adam Schefter is hilarious. That's very funny.

Speaker 4 That was funny. Adam Schefter.
You fucking hard. Is he Adam Schefter deaf comedy jam? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I can't believe he said that. Is he allowed to say that? It is funny, Jake.
Okay, fine.

Speaker 4 He's just a rookie big cat.

Speaker 4 This just sucks.

Speaker 4 This all sucks. All right.

Speaker 4 Let's take a break for another ad and then we'll come back because there's about to be the two-minute warning. I'm just sad.
I just would. You know what? And you know what?

Speaker 3 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 3 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 8 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Speaker 8 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 4 What's up, Seahawks Texans?

Speaker 4 This is a weird game because we were like, oh, the Texans are keeping it close. And then the final score was 33-13.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the only thing I really have to say about this game is the sad Houston Texans content of the week that I got out of it.

Speaker 4 I know last week we saw if these teams had the Texans defense, they might be better. And there was a list of five teams, and four out of the five were just lies.

Speaker 4 This week's sad Houston Texans content is saying if Davis Mills plays really well down the stretch, then maybe the Texans won't have to use their first-round pick on a quarterback.

Speaker 4 And here are the defensive ends that we could then target. Oh,

Speaker 4 that's what you're hoping for. Now, I don't know if you're watching the same Davis Mills that we're watching.
Wait, wait, PFT. Oh, third and eight.
This is a big one. Hank is freaking out.

Speaker 4 Justin Fields just pump-faked everyone. He outfaked a cameraman.
Oh, and Allen Robinson dropped the ball. Davis Mills broke a record today for the Texans.
Longest neck. 14 straight completions.

Speaker 4 Oh, there you go. And he did it to start the game.
He actually was pretty good today. Like,

Speaker 4 that is a funny article because it's Davis Mills, but he played well today, and he actually took a step forward. So I don't know what, like, it's sad, but it's also kind of true.

Speaker 4 They're taking a field goal. There's

Speaker 4 a motherfucker. I fucking hate you.
You piece of shit. Why do they go down? They're going to be

Speaker 4 30 to 15. Okay.
That makes sense. Got to kick a field goal.
Makes sense. You piece of shit.
Fuckface. I'm happy you won.
I feel like the straight completions.

Speaker 4 Hank wins everything. The straight completions

Speaker 4 that's always the worst quarterbacks that continue to break it. Yeah.
I feel like I see that get broken like five times a season.

Speaker 4 No, maybe it's franchise stats, but sometimes it's like, oh, this person is now threatening the NFL consecutive completion stat. It's always quarterbacks that are at best meaningful.

Speaker 4 Whoa, whoa, you're sounding to me like you're not part of Mills Mafia anymore. Well, I don't know.
I don't know if I am or not. He, that's 14 in a row is pretty fucking good.

Speaker 4 And it was, so it was a Texans record. I think it it was a rookie record, or at least like the most in like 30 years.
Fuck it, man. Davis Mills, let's go.
Mills Mafia. All right.
Get back on board.

Speaker 4 So are you thinking that Davis Mills is going to turn it on down the stretch and then the Bills actually won't have to

Speaker 4 have to draft a quarterback? Yes. I can't believe you just kicked a field going.
Now Hank's tweeting,

Speaker 4 all my fucking Hank dogs. Let's go.
The Hawkers. Oh, let's go, guys.

Speaker 4 I got this. You're my guys.
Don't worry about anyone who followed me and bet on the Lions' money line. They got blasted into oblivion.
Oh, all right. The Ravens to win.

Speaker 4 Also, a fun stat from this game. On this.
Kaimi Fairbairn hit a 61-yard field goal. That set a franchise record.
Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Speaker 4 Yes! Yo! The Bears are over! Oh! Oh, my God!

Speaker 4 Oh, my God!

Speaker 4 That was the greatest thing ever.

Speaker 4 I'm so sorry, Hank.

Speaker 4 Did you already send the tweet? I think I did. Oh!

Speaker 4 Now it's probably going to get called back for some bullshit rule.

Speaker 4 Are they going to give us a touchdown or no?

Speaker 4 Are they going to give us a touchdown or no?

Speaker 4 What is this rule?

Speaker 4 What is this rule?

Speaker 4 Oh, they can't advance? I thought you could advance. Well, Hank, you're still going to cover.

Speaker 4 But you must yourself. You should be able to advance an online.
Why can't you advance that? That's a bad rule. This has been.

Speaker 4 So, for people who are listening right now, who maybe have turned off the game, the Bears just kicked a field goal down,

Speaker 4 what was it? They were down 17.

Speaker 4 And then they kicked an on-site kick, recovered it for a touchdown. What's the rule here? Bad rule in a game.
Can you find it for us, Jake? What was the rule? So now the cover is back on.

Speaker 4 Just like that, out of nowhere. This is actually the second time today.

Speaker 4 Wait, no, you had an on-site kick go your way earlier, didn't you? That was Baltimore. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And Justin Fields delivers a dime, kick another field goal.

Speaker 4 Ceciliana tweeted, you can't advance an on-side kick or a muffed pawn. Oh, that's fucking lame.
I feel like

Speaker 4 you could have used to, unless they changed it. It's a bad rule.
You should be allowed to advance an on-side kick.

Speaker 4 I know that's happened to me again against me in college football. College football, you definitely can.

Speaker 4 That's lame. Hank, did you send the tweet?

Speaker 4 Nick Mercks basically kind of tried to mush me. I tweeted the eyeballs to my original tweet before the game with the parlay, and he tweeted bang.

Speaker 4 I waited till they got the ball back and said huge W just as a reply to him.

Speaker 4 And then I quote-tweeted myself and said, I want to die. Wait, so you mushed yourself off by tweeting the eyeballs at yourself.
Oh, you're probably going to still get it. That was just eyeballs.

Speaker 4 What do the eyeballs mean? You also got

Speaker 4 to do that. No,

Speaker 4 the eyeballs were you saying dub. No.
You were whispering dub. No, it just says look.
Look. Look, look at this.
Sounds like eyeballs. It sounds like you mushed yourself.
I did mush yourself.

Speaker 4 You just got so lucky, though. Not being able to advance an on-site kick is lame.
Insane. That's so sad.
Very lame. I agree.
It's very that's a lame rule. Thank you, Hank.
We agree.

Speaker 4 The only purpose for that rule is it makes the game less fun. Yeah, what the fuck are we doing here? You got to be able to advance that.

Speaker 4 At least we're getting your live reactions to the punt and the yeah, of the bears still losing. It's just whether they'll lose by 15 or 8, which matters.

Speaker 4 Which matters.

Speaker 4 My heart is in my stomach right now. Okay,

Speaker 4 I have a quick update for anyone who's out there.

Speaker 4 Pete Carroll, he's got analytics that we didn't even know existed. You ready for this?

Speaker 4 Carroll, Pete Carroll, he was asked, I think, earlier this week, Pete Carroll was asked, and he said, when you have rushing attempts and completions,

Speaker 4 all right, he's bailing and Montgomery out of bounds.

Speaker 4 When you have rushing attempts and completions add up to 50 or more, you win the game. The percentage of winning is close to 90%.

Speaker 4 Okay, so when you run a lot of plays. Well, no, because you got to get completions.
Completions, okay. Completions and rushing attempts.

Speaker 4 This is, I like this. Someone did, this is like those stats that they put up like in a bit in the middle of a baseball game.

Speaker 4 This guy is hitting 750 with runners on base on Wednesdays in August. So the completions plus rushing attempts,

Speaker 4 he's just saying like when your offense is good, you tend to win football games. Yes, which is true.
He said when you get that kind of combination done, you almost always win.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, it's like this is like when Urban Meyer was like, my analytics tell me that if you can rush for 250 yards and pass for 250 yards, you're going to win football games. Yeah.
No shit.

Speaker 4 He said it's not even about the yards you gain. It's about that you take the effort to run the ball that much and make them defend it.
Then everything else gets a

Speaker 4 benefit from that, which I agree a little bit in that, but it's just hilarious that Pete Carroll was like, find me a stat where you add a bunch of shit up and then you win a bunch of games and I'm just going to use that

Speaker 4 for everything.

Speaker 4 Hank? Oh. Yep.
Third and 13.

Speaker 4 It could also Allen Robinson. Hank's going to cover it.
It could also be. He's going to cover it.
Good things happen to Hank. He gets good things happening in his life.

Speaker 4 It could also be like maybe Pete Carroll, if you're looking at these games, you have a bunch of sick completions in the first half and then you just run the football because you have a big lead in the second half.

Speaker 4 Right, right. But Pete Carroll, that's digging a little bit too deep for him.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He likes surface leveling. Just like simple math.
Like, he, I, I imagine Pete Carroll get that. In the third quarter, it's like, all right, Russ has 15 completions.
We've run it 20 times.

Speaker 4 All right, well, we need 15 more run plays and we'll win this game. Yeah, I get it.
Because they're down 25.

Speaker 4 It's like when you look at the nutrition information on a box of chips, and it's like you just look at the one that says per serving. You don't look at how much is contained in the entire thing.

Speaker 4 You're like, oh, this is.

Speaker 4 And it was on his hands. Hank, congrats.
Everything good that happens to you in life. Thank you, you, big cat.
I'm sorry the Bears lost. No, you're not.
Yeah, I am. No, you're not.

Speaker 4 No, you're not. You're actually not.
You're the exact opposite. No.
You're the exact opposite of sorry.

Speaker 4 If I could have picked either the Bears win or the

Speaker 4 Bears, everyone should know right now.

Speaker 4 This is a lie. What Hank just said is a lie.
I'm a nice guy.

Speaker 4 You're actually

Speaker 4 a grumpy person. Everything I vow.
It's hard to be around.

Speaker 4 That's what people were saying. A nice guy.
I heard that. I'm friendly.
Shade Glazer is going to report that Hank was hard to be around. I'm loving.
You know what?

Speaker 4 It must suck for Hank to have to deal with all of us losers in this room all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Biggest losers. It's tough.
Hank just wins. Hank, all the guy does is charity is big this time of year.
How much money did you just win? Yeah, what are you going to donate?

Speaker 4 I'm down to donate to a charity.

Speaker 4 Tweet me a good charity. Jimmy Fund, always donate to the Jimmy Fund, but

Speaker 4 if there's a charity that you guys think is worthy, maybe a Green Bay charity,

Speaker 4 I could be down. And you can't write it off on your taxes.

Speaker 4 Hank doesn't do taxes, so it's not an issue. That's not a problem.
That's such bullshit. You can't fucking advance it.

Speaker 4 That girl. Oh, if you agree, then

Speaker 4 you'll give all the money away. You give it back to the sports book.
If you agree.

Speaker 4 You know what, Big Cat? I will give it back to the sports book.

Speaker 4 Fine. Okay.
Deal. All right.
Deal. Monday night football.
I also don't like the fact that you bet favorites now just when it's against me.

Speaker 4 Who is this guy?

Speaker 4 Listen, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do.
He hit that Steelers.

Speaker 4 I'm mad at the Bears. If you can't tell, I'm mad at the Bears.
And also, you just

Speaker 4 win all the time, and all you do is be grumpy. You'd think a guy who wins that much.
He wouldn't be so grumpy. I'm offended that you think I'm grumpy.

Speaker 4 And I'm going to be so fucking positive in your face for the rest of the month. I don't believe it.
No, that's not true. I don't believe it.

Speaker 4 You get disgusted.

Speaker 4 Hank gets disgusted being around losers. Yeah, that's exactly right.
He hates us because we lose.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Broncos Lions.

Speaker 4 Hank, you had the Lions. I did have the Lions.
Money. I thought they were going on a little winning side.
I did have the Lions Lions. Which, of course,

Speaker 4 you had them because the Broncos were my Mortal Lock. Fade Big Cat.
No, I just actually care about our Fridays. Well, to be fair to Hank, you have like 17 bets that you

Speaker 4 have different names.

Speaker 4 No, this is the Mortal Lock on Advisors. It's only one every week.
It's the only one. And Hank listens to you.
He edits the show. Great job.
I do love Advisors, and I love you, Big Cat.

Speaker 4 And I'm happy that your pick one and mine lost. So the Lions are are 1-11 and 1, which now is a palindrome, Jake.
You should be able to return an on-side kick. That's bullshit.
That is bullshit.

Speaker 4 I agree. That is bullshit.

Speaker 4 I want to find the law that says that and fight whoever... That's bullshit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, ones across the board for the Lions. Yep.
Exciting. That's very exciting.
Would you like to apologize for the palindrome error last week? Yeah, I did it last week, but now we're correct.

Speaker 4 Now we're correct. You were just early.
You, as first reported by Jake Marsh, the Detroit Lions have a palindrome. To the crazy people who listen a week later, they're listening.

Speaker 4 Any pervert that's listening to last Monday's show

Speaker 4 right now, you're hearing Jake be correct.

Speaker 4 The Lions, yeah, they're back to being the Lions again. It was a bit ambitious to think that they could win two games in a row, but you know what? I wanted to believe in them.

Speaker 4 I wanted to believe in Jared Goff.

Speaker 4 Altitude got to him this week. Altitude, also, they had a nice tribute to Demarius Thomas.
They did 10 players on the field to start the game.

Speaker 4 They've officially been eliminated the Lions. The Broncos, I don't know what to make of the Broncos.
I feel like the Broncos, they're inching towards the, like, do you want to play them?

Speaker 4 Because they do have that recipe of they run the ball really well sometimes and then they play good defense sometimes. You know what? They are,

Speaker 4 I put them as the Falcons of the AFC in terms of they're the best bad team in the AFC. Yes.

Speaker 4 They could beat any bad team. Yes.
Yeah. They'll probably lose to most of the good ones.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's pretty much all I had from this game. This game was kind of a,

Speaker 4 I mean, it was, it just happened. It was boring.
It happened.

Speaker 4 Vic Fangio has figured out, we all know that Vic Fangio sucks at his challenges, but he's realized that he can just say, fuck it, throw a bad challenge flag when he's hoping that the result of the play will look different because he just wants...

Speaker 4 He doesn't like what they call in the field, so he throws the flag being like, I don't like this play. I hope they'll overturn it just because I'm hoping, not because of anything that I've seen.

Speaker 4 He's realized that he actually, that's a timeout.

Speaker 4 So, if you're going to take a timeout anyways, have it be a really long timeout where they're reviewing the play, you can think about it, and then, yeah, think about everything for a while.

Speaker 4 So, he's just kind of leaned into that. Like, yeah, I suck at challenges.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to do anything to change being bad at challenges, but I'm going to embrace the timeouts that I get out of challenges.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I saw somebody on Twitter, I forget who it was, so sorry if I'm not crediting you. But they referred to it as the Fangeo Super timeout.

Speaker 4 I like that. The Super Timeout.
He's invented a new timeout. Yep.

Speaker 4 Yeah, this game happened. I don't have anything else.
Nope. I just can't.

Speaker 4 I'm very happy for you, Hank.

Speaker 4 What were the odds on that?

Speaker 4 I'm happy that Matt Nagy was having fun, too. That's something

Speaker 4 you don't really hear. It's just a lot of fun.
I take back me saying I'm happy for you. Talk about it.
It was plus 1,300. I don't think we said what the official bet was.

Speaker 4 It was Aaron Rodgers over 255.5 passing yards. Player to score at least two touchdowns, Devontae Adams, over 27.5 total points by Packers, and Packers minus 13.5.

Speaker 4 And that bet came from my brain. 1,300.
And that bet came from my brain. Yep.
It did. It just showed a fun stack

Speaker 4 on the screen. Not to rub salt in your wounds, Big Cap, but the fun stack.
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 What they just showed on the screen was Aaron Rodgers now has seven games with four touchdowns against the Bears. That's the most of any quarterback against any single team ever.
They suck. They suck.

Speaker 4 Just a fun stack. People wanted to do, they wanted us to do this so they could hear me be tortured, and I'm tortured.
I was tortured by the the Packers. I was tortured by Hank,

Speaker 4 who time and time again reminds me that he's not in my corner ever.

Speaker 4 He's a rider, though. I'm the mad cat.

Speaker 4 I'm the mad cat. But it just sucks.
It sucks. Everything sucks.

Speaker 4 Football, like, just, let's just, let's just finish this season. I just want, like, go to the playoffs.
I don't have to, you know, it's nice to not have to partake in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Hank's getting other teams. Hank's getting a little ratty with it himself.
That's why he loved all the rats this week. I think you see a little bit of yourself.

Speaker 4 He's just a Ratthew Safford. It's fine.
It's fine.

Speaker 4 It's fine. It's fine.
I'm just sad. I'm sad.
I'm lashing out a little bit, but also not really because Hank was grumpy all day and then showed up and just won a bet right in my face. My team sucks.

Speaker 4 But I'm sad. But you did get your full dinner.
All right.

Speaker 4 It was great.

Speaker 4 For people who are confused because we didn't really explain it, we're at Chili's Ghost Kitchen, and it took forever. We got ghosted by the ghost kitchen.

Speaker 4 Hank was was threatening Jake physically if the food didn't show up because he was so hangry and then the food showed up and they missed like half of the order.

Speaker 4 Now you were should we read the text messages?

Speaker 4 Half of the order was not there. So like everyone had half of a meal and had to split and but all of Hank's order was there.
It wasn't threatening.

Speaker 4 I just said if I die from hunger tell my mom I love her. That was just that was me being just honest.

Speaker 4 All right, let's keep moving. Chargers Giants.
Chargers Giants.

Speaker 4 another game that happened although justin herbert's td throw was awesome i think he went 67 yards in the air he put his whole body into it it was a sick i think he was getting hit too as he threw it this was a big time get right game for justin herbert sad to see our man do you think do you think glennon's neck is longer than davis mills i think glennon's neck has grown yeah i do too because i like mills was hot in the street but he's got some some girth on his neck yes Glennon's is just like, it looks like he just stretched out one of those polio string sheets.

Speaker 4 Has it gotten longer, Billy? You just can't tell where his neck ends and his head begins. Dude,

Speaker 4 I think his helmet got smaller and his neck got longer.

Speaker 4 There was a moment where I was like, whoa. He's a beautiful specimen, though.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's one way to say it. He's a one-of-a-kind guy.
Yeah, it's like you go to the zoo and you see a giraffe. You're like, that's crazy.
Yeah, they broke the mold when they made Glennard.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 the post-game, Joe Judge said, I'm encouraged with the way the team fought.

Speaker 4 I mean, what is that? Well, Joe Judge also kind of gave up. I think he punted punted on like fourth and inches around halftime from midfield.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then he tried a fake punt deep in their own territory.

Speaker 4 I think he got. I think they said they're bringing him back.
Joe Judge. I'm pretty sure.
Okay. So I think he's now.

Speaker 4 I'm okay with that. Fuck it.
I like having old school football guys around me. I like the whole Joe Judge take a lap thing.
Damn, the Giants are just,

Speaker 4 they're bad. They're pretty bad.
They're now bad. It's sad to watch them.
But Daniel Dimes, Daniel Dimes gets back.

Speaker 4 You got to be be worried because the Giants bringing back Daniel Jones playing in the Meadowlands against the Washington football team is absolutely a game they'll win.

Speaker 4 They live to win those type of games, especially against the football team. They'll win one more game, and

Speaker 4 just be sure of that because that's just what the Giants do. They're a bad team that can play a good game here and there, muck it up, and cover a spread.

Speaker 4 Yeah, this was a good game for the Chargers to kind of like get a little bit of confidence before going to Thursday night. Yeah.
They feel good about themselves.

Speaker 4 So I think that translates into a lot of points on Thursday. Because I was starting to get a little bit worried about the Chargers.
You had me doubting my Chargers. I still do doubt them.

Speaker 4 The Chargers. The Giants are bad.
The Chargers had me doubting my Chargers based on how they've played. Thursday night will be a big test.

Speaker 4 If the Chargers play well on Thursday night and beat the Chiefs, I will hand up say I was very wrong, and this team can absolutely contend in the AFC.

Speaker 4 I think they're probably not going to, but who knows? I've been wrong pretty much every which way about them.

Speaker 4 Hank's just counting his money right now.

Speaker 4 I'm going to move on.

Speaker 4 I'm going to move on. I'm going to be the bigger man.
I'm going to move on.

Speaker 4 Smile on my face. People won't see the smile.
They'll see me angry. And that's fine.
I'll own it. I'm smiling because I'm a happy, positive guy from here on out.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 So that was that game. Again,

Speaker 4 there were so many bad games and blowouts today.

Speaker 4 The Justin Herbert throw was incredible. And yeah, that was.
Austin Eckler's still good. Yep.
The Burgiants ran the ball a little bit. So there's that.
Yeah, Barkley got a couple carries. He looked.

Speaker 4 This is like, we're just trying to find nice things to say about bad teams at this point of the season.

Speaker 4 Barkley didn't do any of his mid-air spin moves in this game, so he looked like he was playing football today. Yeah.
So that's good to see. What do you say, Billy? Jake Fromm got in.
Oh, he did.

Speaker 4 Yeah, in the fourth. And handed off.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
All right. Well, let's get to two games that the last two games that actually were both good and both have implications.
The 49ers Bengals

Speaker 4 was a game that was a snoozer for a while and then was a thriller in the end.

Speaker 4 George Kittle

Speaker 4 has to lead the league in like how the fuck did he catch that plays?

Speaker 4 Because

Speaker 4 he catches everything and anything, and it's like up the seam with five guys on him or a leaping catch.

Speaker 4 He made that leap and catch at the end of the game that kept the drive alive to have Robbie Gold miss the field goal. George Kittle is so fucking good.
He's so good. Yeah,

Speaker 4 he's probably the first person person I would look at in the NFL for like, who could seamlessly make the transition from being a football player to also being WWE heavyweight champion of the world.

Speaker 4 Yes. And it would be Kittle easily, just based on the way that he plays.

Speaker 4 Gold missing that field goal was big, but I did like that we had two overtimes going at once. At the same time.
And Tails hit on both of them. Yep.

Speaker 4 Because it was back-to-back dubs for Tails in that one. I thought...

Speaker 4 For a second, I thought the Bengals were going to come back and win. Yeah.
And then I was like, wait, the Bengals woke up. They're good again.
This is a very, they're a very confusing team.

Speaker 4 I think they're my most confusing team.

Speaker 4 Here's what I would say about the Bengals and like the positive outlook of this entire season:

Speaker 4 Joe Burrow, and it's cliche and stupid, and obviously it has nothing to do with like football numbers.

Speaker 4 But when you talk about Moxie, Joe Burrow being down 14 points with 10 minutes left and bringing the team back, including an 87-yard drive with like 240 left, that's Joe Burrow.

Speaker 4 Like Joe Burrow, going forward in the future, he's your franchise quarterback and he's also, he has that, that ability, that it ability where you feel like you're never out of a game.

Speaker 4 And there's not like, there's only a handful of quarterbacks that can give you that feeling.

Speaker 4 He is one of those guys. He's got Moxie and he's got poise.
And he's got fearlessness. And he's got, he's that dude.
He's that dude. Ability.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's that dude's. He's also that dude's, that, that dude's best friend.
He's got swagger, too. Yeah.
Swagger, poise, grit moxie moxie what else um

Speaker 4 unafraidness that doesn't really fly off what would be uh fearlessness intangibles intangibles he leads the league in intangibles intangibles um and the 49ers have saved their season yeah so the 49ers jimmy g looked awesome in the first half he looked we got good jimmy g and then things kind of swung a little bit when he there was like a play that just snapped where he just i don't know if it's a freaky friday situation he realized hey i'm jimmy g i i'm doing the thing where I play a good game.

Speaker 4 This feels weird. Got to start throwing interceptions.
He just dropped back and he just dropped the ball. Just like straight down from two hands.
Right. And I didn't know what was going on.

Speaker 4 And you could see like a little bit of, a little bit of his confidence got thrown off.

Speaker 4 But I think he's starting to realize the one thing that he can always do whenever he loses that confidence would take a point and start on a date. That's number one.
Yep.

Speaker 4 Two, just throw the ball to Kittle and watch Kittle run with the ball. Then your offensive line gets amped up and they start chest bumping each other.
Then they'll block better for you.

Speaker 4 Then you have all time. Really, that changes your offense when Kittle has one of those runs.
Yes, absolutely. And yeah, he was,

Speaker 4 Kittle was everything for them.

Speaker 4 But the 49ers, I think we dubbed them the team no one wants to play. No, they're my don't look now team.
Don't look now. Yep.
Don't look now team.

Speaker 4 They're in the playoffs if they started today, comfortably in the sixth seed.

Speaker 4 I just hope they make it because I want to see George Kittle in the playoffs. I want to see Debo Samuel in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 49ers, when they have it rolling, are a very fun team to watch.

Speaker 4 I also love it when they say on like ESPN or Fox, when they say, this team will out-physical you. That's such a good football term to use.

Speaker 4 They're the only team, I think, that has ever been able to out-physical anyone. It doesn't make any sense, but I get it when you talk about the 49ers in that one.
Yes.

Speaker 4 It's crazy that we only have four weeks left. You know what?

Speaker 4 Actually, this doesn't really make any sense, but the thought occurred to my dumb brain when I was watching this game that I get pissed off that T. Higgins isn't smaller.
A name like T.

Speaker 4 Higgins, he should be 5'6. He should be a little speedster.
You're right. He's 160 pounds, and he's like 6'4 and 220.
It doesn't make sense. That's not, he's the size of a tight end.

Speaker 4 He should be a scat back. Yes, he should have, he's like a Darren Sprolls, change-of-pace guy, catching the ball out of the backfield.
You're right.

Speaker 4 But yeah, this was a great game. This was a game that looked terrible and then ended up having, I don't know, walk-off touchdowns.
We had two of them back-to-back

Speaker 4 are always fun. And so let's go to the last one: Bucs Bills.
The Bucs were cruising, killing the Bills. The Bills tried the strategy of just never handing the ball off.

Speaker 4 They didn't have a single handoff to their running back in the first half. First time since 1991, which is crazy that it happened in 1991.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's weird what they did in the first half.

Speaker 4 It was almost like the Bills got PTSD from watching the Patriots run the ball so much last week that they're like, we're not going to put our defense through that in practice this week and even put in a game plan that involves running the ball for our offense for them to even look at.

Speaker 4 I don't know what the idea was. They had some design runs with Josh Allen.
A lot of them. But they didn't hit their first handoff was on a fake punt.
It was crazy.

Speaker 4 It was really. Shawnee Moxon, I don't want your laugh.

Speaker 4 To Bill Belichick. Yeah.
They're just like, I don't want this. Playing football at West Cain High School may have been the opportunity of your laugh, but I don't want your laugh.

Speaker 4 That's a great line, isn't it? It is. It's a great line.
I just, I feel like this Bills team, they're not built for the city of Buffalo in a weird way. Well, yeah, because they can't run the ball.

Speaker 4 They don't run. They don't even attempt to run the ball.
I know. They don't have a running game to speak of.

Speaker 4 You know what it is? They built this team just to win the Super Bowl in Los Angeles this year. They're like, if we can just, as long as we get to the Super Bowl, we can win that game.
with our off.

Speaker 4 And I actually think in a weird way they're right. Yeah.
I think I guarantee if the Bills make it to the Super Bowl, I I think they win the Super Bowl this year.

Speaker 4 Because this is one of those games where if the game had ended the way it was going, I would have said put a fork in the Bills. Like, they're done.
They had no fight. It's over.

Speaker 4 The Bucs killed them, which they were in the first half. But Josh Allen did everything.

Speaker 4 He ran for 300 or passed for 300, ran for 100. He like wheeled them back into this game.

Speaker 4 And if something goes, if a break goes differently, even at the end of the game, they were like, they were, what on the six yard line when they had to kick that field goal like half of his foot went out of bounds yeah he's trying to run the ball in it's like a totally different story coming out of this game where the bills are back and they and they circled the wagons but i still think a little of that and there's no moral victories but a little of that stands true that they found something and they like fought so i'm now back to believing in the bills even though they lost they look is that weird to say no no they look so bad in the first half and the fact they were even able to come back yeah i get it it feels like they have something that they can build on for next week.

Speaker 4 It's way better that that happened than the other way around

Speaker 4 than if they had gotten out to a big lead in the first half and then got crapped on by Tom Brady all throughout the season. That would destroy your confidence.
And by the way,

Speaker 4 the start of this game had a moment where it was like the Aaron Rodgers

Speaker 4 discount double check in the first quarter. Ed Oliver did the step over on Tom Brady in the first quarter.
Oh.

Speaker 4 When the Bills were on defense, I think he got sacked and Ed Oliver just like walked over him. Brady got up and started like punching the air and tried to fight Ed Oliver.

Speaker 4 And from that point on, Brady was locked in. And it's like, yeah, you don't tug on Superman escape.
You don't teabag Tom Brady in the first quarter. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Why would you try to get him stirred up at that point? Because he was doing quarterback sneaks. He was running with the football.
He bikes up, sliding high, cleats up into people again.

Speaker 4 Going after everyone, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Bucs, and I... The Bucs, like, letting the Bills back in was very, very weird because they did have cruise control.
It was, they, like, didn't run the ball.

Speaker 4 They were kind of passing, kind of fucking around. It felt like, oh, yeah, we're just going to win this game easily.

Speaker 4 And then Josh Allen makes a couple Josh Allen plays and boom, the Bills are back in it.

Speaker 4 Leonard Fournette is awesome right now. Last three games, he's had 355 total yards, six touchdowns.

Speaker 4 We always talk about

Speaker 4 the quarterbacks and being in the right fit. And like, you know, Trevor Lawrence in Jacksonville right now or Zach Wilson with the Jets.

Speaker 4 It's funny because we never really discuss it with the other players that, like, Leonard Fournette was basically cast off as a total bust in Jacksonville.

Speaker 4 He gets on a winning team that, you know, uses him correctly, and whoa, he's fucking awesome.

Speaker 4 Yeah, is that a case of like finding the right fit or just finding not the wrong fit? Yeah, just not being in Jacksonville anymore. You know what?

Speaker 4 It's always about the quarterbacks, and then you have a guy like that who's like,

Speaker 4 everyone said he was a bust. It didn't end well in Jacksonville.

Speaker 4 And, you know, people didn't, they were not happy that they drafted him so high in Jacksonville, but now he's a really, really important part of a defending Super Bowl champion team.

Speaker 4 I also thought, I had the thought in the first half, and I guess it probably still stands that wouldn't it be funny after this entire year that like has chaos and everyone who no one's good, it's just going to be Bucs Chiefs again?

Speaker 4 Probably, like, it could very well be Bucs Chiefs again.

Speaker 4 And this was a this was the game that we were watching, and I was I was getting very mad at Hank as we were watching it because Hank was pointing out I love him, so I I don't

Speaker 4 PFT, just so you know, that's wrong. Big cat, we're going to get on a journey.

Speaker 4 We're going to take a journey with my hatred of Hank as I was watching this game.

Speaker 4 And it actually taught me a lesson about myself because Hank was, he sees things that I don't see sometimes from watching these games.

Speaker 4 He hears Tony Romo say innocuous things like, ah, that looked like a catch to me when the Bills are on offense. And Hank's like, this fuckhead, Tony Romo, hates Tom Brady.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, Hank is paranoid as shit. Or like, that's a great catch by Mike Evans in the end.
Hank's like, that was a great pass by Tom Brady on that play.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, wait, wait, does Tony Romo actually hate Tom Brady? And then Hank explains his logic, and he's like, well, wouldn't you also hate Tom Brady? Because

Speaker 4 Tom Brady had been in the league, I think you said for 10 years. That might have been an exaggeration, but he was in the league well before Tony Romo got in.
Tony Romo retires.

Speaker 4 Tom Brady's still winning Super Bowls after Romo's on TV for the last four seasons. And he hates, he hates, maybe it's like secret hatred.

Speaker 4 Maybe he doesn't even realize that he hates Tom Brady, but it comes across in his broadcasting. Yeah, it's not hatred, it's just like he doesn't, yeah, he's not gonna gas him up either.

Speaker 4 He's not gonna sound like he likes him. Yeah, but it he's just going through the motions with Tom.
So after listening to Hank and his appreciation

Speaker 4 and

Speaker 4 Hank rooting for Tom Brady as an extension of the Patriots who just destroyed the Bills heart and soul last week and rooting for a continuation of the Patriots manifesting itself in Tom Brady, continuing to destroy them this week.

Speaker 4 I just realized that Hank is Hank's right about everything. He's right.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 the hatred that I have towards Hank when it comes to football is just me being jealous.

Speaker 4 I have a little bit of Tony Romo-itis myself, and I'm jealous of Hank and everything that he touches turning to gold in football, whether it's the Patriots or Tom Brady. Or his bets? Or his bets?

Speaker 4 I had a nightmare as I was watching this game, which is that Bill Belichick goes to the Rams or something after he leaves New England, wins three more Super Bowls, and then Hank also has another satellite team that he gets to root for.

Speaker 4 Well, I wasn't born in L.A. Yeah.
So you would have your Patriots still dominating people, probably.

Speaker 4 You would have Tom Brady still dominating that entire corner of the globe. And then you'd also have the Rams.
I hope it doesn't happen because Hank is...

Speaker 4 He's just successful at rooting.

Speaker 4 He's an incredible guy. Thank you guys.
You guys are hoping to be able to do that. I

Speaker 4 I love the guy.

Speaker 4 It makes me sick. Even though my pain is

Speaker 4 his gold,

Speaker 4 it's fine. I love him.
It's disgusting how right Hank has been. He's a smart guy.

Speaker 4 His bets are smart.

Speaker 4 He's the best reader here.

Speaker 4 He's just everything.

Speaker 4 Great ass. Damn.
Thanks, guys.

Speaker 4 Happy holidays. Anything else you want to say about this game, Hank?

Speaker 4 No, it's a good comeback by the Bills. They showed a little bit of heart.
I said it before the game.

Speaker 4 This is either going to be a Bills show heart fight comeback for the rest of the season, or they're going to lay down and die. At first, it seemed like they were laying down and dying.

Speaker 4 They did show some heart. There is still some hope if you're a Buffalo Bills fan.
Not,

Speaker 4 there's some hope. At one point, it was like the season's over.
There's no hope. They just got to get into that game.

Speaker 4 There's some hope.

Speaker 4 Not a lot. Survive in advance.
Are you, what will you actually like? How painful will it be if it's Bucs Patriots? Or are you... It'll be horrible.
Yeah. Horrible.
Yeah. You know what?

Speaker 4 I think as the biggest supporters of Hank that there are big cat, we should root for his two favorite teams, the Bucs and the Pass and make the Super Bowl. Are you is it in your mind at all? Yes.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. I think about it constantly.

Speaker 4 It would be so bad. And it's, we're on a collision course.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
It's almost like Bucks Pass or Chiefs. I would say like if

Speaker 4 If you could bet on those, a combination of one of those three teams making it, there's a good chance. This is how you're going to be able to tell the chief and for all at the NFL.

Speaker 4 They're really, really good, and they obviously have a lot of ill will towards the Patriots.

Speaker 4 Mac Jones is a rookie, so it wouldn't blow my mind if the Chiefs beat the Patriots in the playoffs, but I don't think any other team is. Yeah, like

Speaker 4 if the Patriots have to go to Kansas City,

Speaker 4 Mac Jones going to Kansas City in like middle of January, it does feel like that's a tall mountain to climb. Right.

Speaker 4 This is how you're going to be able to tell if the NFL actually has the product rigged. If there's actually a room that Roger roger cadell

Speaker 4 convenes his owners in his evil lair his sanctum beneath you know that park avenue building that hank famously got arrested in if there if that place exists then it's going to be the patriots against the bucks in the super bowl there's no doubt about that no but that's i don't see that's the thing with goodell like he that would that's his worst nightmare is it

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 having the most watched Super Bowl ever of all time. Probably the most watched television show to ever exist.

Speaker 4 It would be the most watched thing that ever happened. I don't know.
He hates the Patriots and he hates Brady.

Speaker 4 I think he'd be pretty happy with it. Yeah, if it would be.
Roger Goodell, do you want

Speaker 4 300 million viewers in the United States? To break records under your watch. Like, that's a record that probably won't even be broken.
It would be that insane.

Speaker 4 What do you think the most watched thing ever is?

Speaker 4 The most watched thing ever? It's probably

Speaker 4 Ray J, Pam Anderson. No, it's probably.
Probably Bonk. It's probably.

Speaker 4 That's just statistics. Maybe the asteroid.

Speaker 4 The first asteroid that hit. There were probably a lot of people that saw that.
It's probably... Think about inflation, dude.
No, it's probably. There's like a hundred people on Earth.

Speaker 4 It's probably some fucking show in like 1960. Like, or not 1960, maybe 1970s when.
MASH, when they had two shows on? Yeah, right. When there were two shows on, everyone tuned into those two shows.

Speaker 4 The Seinfeld finale. Yeah, or something like Dallas.
One of those Beatles on Ed McMahon. It's a 2015 Super Bowl.
Oh, damn. Okay.
Pat Seahawks.

Speaker 4 This is Billy Source, though. It's Wikipedia.
What was the most watched thing ever? Oh, in the ninth-ranked one was MASH' Fairweather. There it is.
Okay. I knew there's got to be one.

Speaker 4 It's all Super Bowls. Per cap.
Super Bowls, and then there's just a show that everyone watched in 1975. Well, percentage?

Speaker 4 In Hank's defense, as a spin zone for Goodell, it might actually not be in Goodell's favor to have this be the highest-rated game ever because they're not going to be able able to touch this game after it.

Speaker 4 Yes, like,

Speaker 4 how would you compete against the Brady Belichick suit? It's all downhill. Yeah.
Well, at that point, Goodell retires. Yes, probably.
Yes.

Speaker 4 He walks off into the sunset. He cucks.
Holy. Tom Brady.
What do you got there? What do you got there, Bill?

Speaker 4 So, in 1983, when the MASH episode aired, the population of the United States was 233 million, and it had

Speaker 4 about

Speaker 4 15 million views. So it's greater than the population.

Speaker 4 That's

Speaker 4 about half the population watched the mash. Huh.
And everyone was probably like, that was a good finale. Yep.
Not just a bunch of people like, this show sucks for this reason or this reason.

Speaker 4 It didn't exist. Right, exactly.
Oh, wait, wait. Crazy Frog by Axel F has 3.1 billion views.
Damn. So that's the most watched thing ever.
That's crazy.

Speaker 6 The pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 6 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 6 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 4 Hank, I will get you a gift. Hank, do you want to get a gift?

Speaker 4 Do you want my gifts? My gift is a gift. You a gift of friendship of friendship every day.
Nope, I already got it. I beat you to it.
Nope. My gift is friendship to you.

Speaker 4 Your friendship to me is my gift. Just me.
Being around and being able to be in your guys' presence. God, I love you so much.

Speaker 4 How much did you win on that bet?

Speaker 4 Like $1,400. Oh, I love you so much.
Hey,

Speaker 4 second track suit. I love you.
No, no. Give it to someone who needs it.
Give it to a needy.

Speaker 4 A needy. One of them needies.

Speaker 4 One of them needies. All right, football guy of the week, Billy.

Speaker 4 Congratulations to last week's winner, Gardner Minshew. Oh.

Speaker 4 Who won after celebrating with his father? I missed him this week. Okay.
Yeah, I too.

Speaker 4 Last week I wanted to, some play, I wanted to make a Christmas wreath out of rattlesnakes. Just dig a hole in the backyard somewhere.
Our first nominee is Forrest Rine, linebacker from Villanova.

Speaker 4 After losing the quarterfinals FCS tournament game, he was asked,

Speaker 4 so he has the

Speaker 4 he leads the nation in tackles. And when asked what it means to end the season leading the nation in tackles, tackles, he replied, nothing

Speaker 4 because he lost. Yeah, he lost.

Speaker 4 So he led the nation in tackles. He did.
Currently leading. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He probably currently does. I think he still has the record.
Yeah, but JMU's got a couple more games, so someone there is probably going to take him over. Our second nominee is Chad Johnson.

Speaker 4 He was watching the game today and he tweeted, fourth quarter, we can still win this game, Bengals. She's having contractions, but I'm not moving from in front of this TV.
Let's go.

Speaker 4 Bengals emoji. Love it.

Speaker 4 His wife was having

Speaker 4 traction? Yeah, I think someone was...

Speaker 4 Someone was going into labor. Got it.
He was married. How many kids does he have? I feel like he's

Speaker 4 got a

Speaker 4 good crew. He's super fast.
Super, super fast. Track star.
One of his daughter.

Speaker 4 Our third nominee is coach Brian Lepak from Kansas State University. I think he's head of recruiting.

Speaker 4 Commented on what he looks for in recruits. He said, I'm looking for dudes who go after Moby Dick in a rowboat and bring the tartar sauce with them.

Speaker 4 Didn't, did Moby Dick, I never read that book. Did he end up getting them? I think Moby Dick killed everyone, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I don't think that guy read the end of the book.

Speaker 4 No, I think he ate the captain, and then the captain

Speaker 4 lived inside of his stomach. No, that's Jonah.
That's Jonah and got like pumped out and then

Speaker 4 killed them. That's the Bible.
That's Jonah.

Speaker 4 You sure? God wins at the end.

Speaker 4 He always does.

Speaker 4 We're real big book readers here. I actually love that book.
I'm going to win.

Speaker 4 I had to. So what happened? Moby Dick.
You read all

Speaker 4 the captain goes down with the whale trying to kill it. So this guy's like recruiting.
Yeah, but I actually think that makes him more the fact that he hasn't finished Moby Dick. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He just knows it's about a no, I'm just saying, like, he's trying to recruit. He's basically saying, I want to recruit guys that are so stubborn they'll die.
Exactly. That's what you're doing.

Speaker 4 Stubbornness.

Speaker 4 Our fourth nominee is Jerry Gray,

Speaker 4 D-Back coach from the Green Bay Packers.

Speaker 4 The defensive back coach Jerry Gray says he never wears sleeves in the cold. It gives opponents the edge.
They asked him why.

Speaker 4 Your opponents think you're soft.

Speaker 4 I asked if sleeves make you soft. I don't know.
I never wore them. That was his pants on sleeves.

Speaker 4 Eight sleeves. That's a good answer.
He doesn't know. And now for our old school throwback football guy of the week,

Speaker 4 William Phillip had this to say about football. The fact that it makes respectable the most primitive feelings about violence, patriotism, manhood, the similarity to war is unmistakable.

Speaker 4 There is even a general draft. And that was his quote on football.
Like it.

Speaker 4 So, Billy, thank you for your service. Yes.
You're welcome. Way to go viral again.
The Army-Navy game. That was great.
It was great. If you see Billy in the streets,

Speaker 4 you better salute him. No, please don't.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, it's gaming. Give up your seat

Speaker 4 on a plane, too. Please do not do it.
Treat Billy as you would a pregnant woman. Yeah,

Speaker 4 buy him anything that you can. No.
And that's, you won't do that to a Prego. Nope, you would not.

Speaker 4 So buy him a coffee or a hot chocolate or a hot cocoa. Yeah, ask him when he's expecting to be discharged.

Speaker 4 All right. Thank you, Billy.
Good job. Go vote for it right now.
The blog is up.

Speaker 4 We're going to finish up. We got Who's Back of the Week? Cash App is back.
Major announcement for...

Speaker 9 Lucy's the obvious choice for a true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports.

Speaker 9 They go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have unique shape that feels great.

Speaker 9 We all use the breakers. They're the only pouches with a hydration caps on side.
They're a totally new kind of pouch, only available from Lucy.

Speaker 9 You pop it in your mouth, break it with your teeth, and it's instantly hydrated, releasing that nicotine faster. And it's a burst of flavor.
No other pouch has that, I promise you that.

Speaker 9 Gas station pouches get the job done, but once you've tried Lucy, you won't want anything else in your pocket.

Speaker 4 Hank, take us away. I have a

Speaker 4 favorite person in the world, Henry Lockwood. I love this guy so fucking much.
I wish I could kiss him and put him in my back pocket and take him everywhere with me. Yeah, I have a couple.

Speaker 4 My first one is happiness, joy, love. True.
Tizza season around the holidays.

Speaker 4 We're especially a cheery bunch. Like PFT always loves Christmas.
He puts up lights around the pile and gets everyone all hyped up. Yeah.
Usually comes in.

Speaker 4 I'm a big wastler, actually. I love wassling.

Speaker 4 So yeah, it's just great. It's just great to be in this time of the year with you guys.

Speaker 4 I love it. It's holiday cheer.
I just feel really lucky and really special.

Speaker 4 And I just want to kind of vocalize that to the listeners so they understand how lucky and special I feel. And how happy I am

Speaker 4 to be here with you guys. I love it so much.
I want to just let you guys know.

Speaker 4 I plan on bringing presents for you guys. Oh, no.
It's going to be something small. Cool.
But their presence is coming. Nice.
Don't want it to be weird. Drugs? Yeah, he's giving me a drug.

Speaker 4 It's technically a drug, yeah.

Speaker 4 Technically a drug.

Speaker 4 All right, good to know. Mother's cocaine, I'll take it.
Mother, who's back? Is Brian Kelly?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I do declare. A video came out.
I think this was a recruit, I'm assuming. Yep.
Doing a tour at the LSU's facility. They have this little like photo 360 camera angle played up.

Speaker 4 The first mistake, which I saw some people point out, but should be on the record. The song playing was calling on Baton Rouge, but it was the Garth Brooks version.
Yep.

Speaker 4 Which is not the version they play down in Baton Rouge, at LSU, at Fred's. I think, what is it, the New Grass Revitalist or something? I'll look up the real.

Speaker 4 I probably just butchered that. There's a real

Speaker 4 Colin on Baton Rouge that you're supposed to play. He played the wrong one.

Speaker 4 He's Colin Baton Rouge. In the video, he was like dancing, holding up the L.
It was super, super, super cringy.

Speaker 4 What we're learning quickly is that Brian Kelly at Notre Dame was the perfect fit. Like, he should be recruiting.
He should be sitting in someone's living room. Newgrass Revival.
That's it.

Speaker 4 He should be sitting in their living room being like, it's not about football. It's about the rest of your life.

Speaker 4 And Notre Dame has a great alumni structure that will make sure that you're set up for the next 50 years, not the next 10. Yeah, but also...

Speaker 4 Instead of doing these weird dances and like and holding up the L for LSU. It's going to be very funny to see him down in Baton Rouge.
I'm very excited for it because if he wins, it'll all be.

Speaker 4 Wait, how did you get those pants on? Did you just do that in front of us? I'm very experienced in getting dressed. He's still wearing his treatments.
I get dressed almost every day. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I miss that. No, you're all in the jumpsuit.
I'm super excited for Brian Kelly in Baton Rouge because it's such a bad culture fit, obviously. So it's going to probably blow up.

Speaker 4 Now, he can either win really quickly

Speaker 4 and he should, because if he doesn't, it's going to get bad. It's going to get bad really fast.
And it's going to be very funny to watch. Like Brian Kelly pretending to be a southerner is something.

Speaker 4 He's like trying to wink and nod and play into it now. Yes.
But as they say in the South, the horse is out of that barn. Yeah.
Brian. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He is definitely like a big misfit there. Brian Kelly, just go on hot ones.
Just steer all into it. I want to see Brian Kelly just like try to rebrand himself because

Speaker 4 he lacks a personality outside of a football field. That's where.
He absolutely does. That's where

Speaker 4 you work for Coach O. Yeah, it's true.
I miss Coach O. I feel bad for him.
The whole time I'm watching that. And he's probably.
Yeah, but you know he watched that video. Like, hold on.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's fucking asshole. Just wait.

Speaker 4 All right, PFT, who's back? Was that it, Hank? That was great. I have a a bunch, but I'm still more.
Do you want to do that? I'll give you one more. Do one more.
Do one more. I'll leave Hank dunk it.

Speaker 4 Do one more. No, I know it's going to be one of your guys's.
No, no, no. No, I'm probably not.
Do one more. Really? I don't have one, so.

Speaker 4 You do one more.

Speaker 4 You sure? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Those are better than ours, anyways.

Speaker 4 Fat guy basketball players. Big head hoopers.
Well, that was good. That was a good one.
So this kid, his name is Connor Williams. I think he plays for Buffalo.
No. St.
John Fisher.

Speaker 4 He's playing against Buffalo. What's his name? St.
John Fisher from you.

Speaker 4 No, I have a bunch down. He could have been a football guy of the week.
This guy is seven foot tall, what, like 350 pounds?

Speaker 4 And absolutely wet from three. Absolute tank.
The video came out where he was running down the court. He fell.
He got up. He gets the ball, throws a die

Speaker 4 up. Where he basically is looking like he doesn't want to throw it.

Speaker 4 And then a bunch of other highlights of this kid came out. He's apparently like a two-time

Speaker 4 state champion or like player of the year in his state. He's actually a good player.

Speaker 4 So he's

Speaker 4 Connor Williams. I feel like this is, you're going to be hearing a lot more.
Well, I think we're going to hire him.

Speaker 4 I was sitting next to Dave when those highlights went viral and he started DMing with him. So

Speaker 4 that's all you needed to do. Yeah, I would be shocked if he wasn't in studio, like working for part of my take in some capacity within the year.
Yes. Oh, I didn't realize.

Speaker 4 So that's actually Division III school that plays D1 schools. Yes.
So that's... Wow.
And you know what?

Speaker 4 I'd almost rather see a dude that's that big be a sick passer than a dude that's that big be wet from three. He's got both.
He does it all. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, the belly prevents people from closing out on a shot. That's true.
It's a little bit meaning. No, but

Speaker 4 that's how you use your body.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's also true.

Speaker 4 He's no different than Kevin Durant's shop being like unguardable because of their height. True.
Yeah. Different dimensions.
Yeah, exactly. All right, PFT, who's your who's back?

Speaker 4 If Hank's done with his who's backs of the week. I love Hank so much.
I do too. Just a great, outstanding young man.
You know what? Even better off the show than he is on it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Cheery and great to be around.

Speaker 4 My Who's Back of the Week is the Evergiven. My mom's not going to think you guys are joking and trolling.
No, we love him. You're going to lighten up.
No, we love him.

Speaker 4 When I said you were grumpy, that was a joke. Mrs.
Lockwood, you raised a heck of a kid. That's a joke.
You're always happy. I am.
I know.

Speaker 4 Why would I

Speaker 4 say it if I didn't believe it? Did I stutter a little there?

Speaker 4 Go ahead, BFT. The Evergiven is My Who's Back of the Week.
The Evergiven was the ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal. Remember that? It was stuck there for like 13 days? Yep.

Speaker 4 It fucked up all of global trade. The world, yeah.

Speaker 4 I think it said that its first pass through the Suez Canal caused a global meltdown, which is as bad as it can go for your first time making any journey in any sort of container.

Speaker 4 But the Evergiven's back.

Speaker 4 Just yesterday, it returned to the Suez Canal. And it made it through.
It made it through. Damn.
Returned, like Napoleon said, or was that Lafayette? I don't know.

Speaker 4 One of those assholes went back to a place that he lost and won the next battle. But the Evergiven made it all the way through.
So shout out to the Evergiven.

Speaker 4 It would have been very funny if it got stuck a second time. Very funny.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oops, I did it again.
Oops, I did it again. I was actually rooting for the Evergiven to get stuck.
It would have been another time. That was a great.
You know what, though? I feel like

Speaker 4 that was when we were in Detroit last year, right? So it was right around playoff football, I think. It was a good thing to talk about for a while.
It gave us like a global,

Speaker 4 like everyone across the world was talking about the same thing on social media, which is kind of a nice treat. Everyone was cracking wise.
You got to see a lot of ja-ja-ja-ja-jaz.

Speaker 4 You know, like when people laugh in Spanish online.

Speaker 4 I always like that. Everybody, people of all stripes were coming together to joke about the driver of the Evergiven.
Oh, I thought you were on the Throtus.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 4 That was another crazy ring.

Speaker 4 She was Evergiven. She's back.
She's all the way back. Yeah.
Throat goat. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 The hypest thing about the Suez Canal were those guys getting hype after they got it out, and it was just a bunch of dudes in one excavator. Yeah.
And they were like chanting. Yes.
Uh-huh. Yes.

Speaker 4 All right. My who's back of the week is the under in Army Navy.
16 years in a row. And yes, I bet the over.
And I'm going to still do it until it hits because it'll be the greatest day of my life.

Speaker 4 I went there. I went to Army Navy yesterday.
It was awesome.

Speaker 4 One of the coolest games. Just the best.
So, yeah, 16 years in a row. 16 years in a row, the under is hit.
That's fucking insane. This is pretty impressive.
It's always a fun game to watch, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it is. And the high has been coming after it.
There were too many passes, though.

Speaker 4 I didn't like the Army's offense. The Army's getting cute with it.
Thanks.

Speaker 4 I guess I have to blame Joe Biden. Yes,

Speaker 4 now Army passes the ball.

Speaker 4 They did pass the ball a decent amount for that game. I always thought it would be awesome if one of those teams

Speaker 4 practiced in secret the

Speaker 4 spread offense and just showed up and started running it.

Speaker 4 They wouldn't be able to stop it. Not at all, because you spend your entire week.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Entire year. Yep.
Getting ready for that game.

Speaker 4 And then the Heisman right after Bryce Young, Kenny Pickett was robbed.

Speaker 4 Also, I don't know if you guys saw that clip, but it was one of the more awkward moments when Desmond Howard was talking to Aiden Hutchinson and they were like, oh, yeah,

Speaker 4 beating Ohio State was why I came back and all this stuff. And Desmond Howard and Tim Tebow just started trashing C.J.
Stroud's offensive line, like right in front of him. CJ Stroud just didn't laugh.

Speaker 4 Like

Speaker 4 stone-faced. This is fucked up.
Don't talk about my guys like that. Yeah, Tim Tebow

Speaker 4 just made it way worse.

Speaker 4 He was really, really awkward with it. It's so awkward.
He's such an awkward, like, he's an awkward dude. He's got an awkward delivery.
And his shoes are way too big. Yes.

Speaker 4 Tongues of a shoe. I don't like his haircut either.
And that's our Tim Tebow. He's got

Speaker 4 the fake part. Actually, I think Tim Tebow caught a few strays throughout this show.
Yeah, he might have.

Speaker 4 Okay, Billy.

Speaker 4 Who's back? CFL, the Gray Cup. Oh, also, my who's back is Hank being just the best gambler of all time.

Speaker 4 The Winnipeg Blue Bombers won.

Speaker 4 And just a little update on CFL. Oh,

Speaker 4 either who's back is Halo. If you guys saw Joey Bosa do the Halo teabag celebration.
No. I saw that, yeah.
It was pretty dope. That is dope.
It was pretty dope. It was pretty dope.
So that's all back?

Speaker 4 The NFL tweeted it out. And then the NFL deleted the tweet because somebody told them, hey, this is a teabag celebration.
They're like, we can't have that. Delete, delete, delete.
Cannot have that.

Speaker 4 All right, Jake, who's your who's back? Wrap us up. My who's back is Hugh Jackson, the

Speaker 4 former Takey Award presenter. Yes.
Or, sorry, it was for Hot Suit Cool Thrones. Yes.
Presenter. He's the new head coach at Grambling State.
Oh,

Speaker 4 good for him. Yeah.
Good for him. Also scored Namis.
Yeah. Huge day.
Awesome. Anything quickly that you want to recap for college basketball?

Speaker 4 What happened in the Alabama-Houston game? Everyone was mad about something. I was a controversial non-goaltending call.
That was a great game. I made the very adult decision to just go to sleep.

Speaker 4 Crazy thing. That's fair.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm glad you put your country first. You didn't have to watch Wisconsin-Ohi Players.
I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly.
I was watching RD.

Speaker 4 We're going to have our fourth number one team because Purdue lost.

Speaker 4 So Purdue, Duke, and Gonzagoval lost number one. Baylor will be number one again.
So

Speaker 4 everything's coming up, Rutgers. Disregard what happened last night.

Speaker 4 Disregard, disregard. The trophy's made of the boardwalks.
Is it really? Yeah. Oh, that's cool.
That's cool. They should make it out of like a

Speaker 4 nuclear reactor or something. Something more Jersey.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So nuclear reactor? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Three mile, right? Three mile island? No, is that in Philly? Indian Point is the closest, I think. Got it.
That's upstate. But every

Speaker 4 upstate New York. Yeah, not New Jersey.
Every team that kicked an on-site kick and recovered it lost this weekend. Who? Is that two teams? Three teams.
Who? Bears? Ravens? And someone else did it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, New Jersey. New Jersey has like a million nuclear power plants.
Are any of them close to who's the other teams that did it?

Speaker 4 Yes, several.

Speaker 4 And some other team.

Speaker 4 Who knows? 88.

Speaker 4 81. 69.
Oh, the Bears? The Ravens. Yeah.
And some other team. And some other team.
Six. That did it.
Eight.

Speaker 4 Grizzly bears can run as fast as

Speaker 4 what'd you guess, Hank? 88. Sure, we'll hit.
What's out of play?

Speaker 4 39 and 52.

Speaker 4 18!

Speaker 4 Hank! Congrats!

Speaker 4 Amy Day!

Speaker 4 Love it, Jake. Let's go.

Speaker 4 Jake, take a picture with number 18. Fuck yes.

Speaker 4 What a day. It's awesome.
Your haircut looks good. Thank you.
Jake, you're probably the biggest winner on this show. That's everything we said nice about Hank.
Hank got a bigger one.

Speaker 4 Everything we said nice about Hank, we actually, it was about you.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
But you also beat Hank in ping pong, though. True, but the Frank Frank Caliana video is live on YouTube.
Yeah, let's go check it out. He's going to win that one.

Speaker 4 Love you guys. The Lions.

Speaker 4 Oh, the Lions. Bears and Ravens.
The Lions is an on-site kick today.

Speaker 4 When? Why?

Speaker 4 Today's the 13th, right?

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 They lost by like. When and why?

Speaker 4 Talking away

Speaker 4 I don't know what I'm to say. I'd change anyway.

Speaker 4 Today's not my

Speaker 4 day to find you.

Speaker 4 Shy it away.

Speaker 4 No, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 4 Shy it away.

Speaker 4 No, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 4 young

Speaker 4 are

Speaker 4 changing.

Speaker 4 I'm not doing all the time

Speaker 4 needless to say

Speaker 4 I want to say it's funny

Speaker 4 still

Speaker 4 a little

Speaker 4 way

Speaker 4 Slowly, learning that life is okay

Speaker 4 Say up to me.

Speaker 4 It's not better, Jesus says.

Speaker 4 All the things that you say

Speaker 4 just to flame my worries away.

Speaker 4 You're all things I've got to remember.

Speaker 4 When you shine away,

Speaker 4 Lovely coming for you anyway

Speaker 4 When you shine away

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway

Speaker 4 Wave, wave, wave, wave, wave, wave, wave, wave, wave, wave.

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 am

Speaker 4 afraid of the world.

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 think

Speaker 4 you are

Speaker 4 a

Speaker 4 good idea.