NFL Week 2, Fastest 2 Minutes And Who's Back Of The Week

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have NFL Week 2. No Guest Mondays, we recap every single game, Who's Back of the Week, Football Guy of the Week, and of course, the fastest two minutes, a crazy Sunday.
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Boy! Boy! We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

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Today is Monday, September 20th, week two. Fumble! We start in Cleveland where Tyrod Taylor Swift saw the training staff and said, I knew you were trouble when you walked in the blue tent.
Davis General Mills looked like he was out there just to cash his checks, as Laramie Tunsil looked like he was smoking Wheaties instead of eating them. Andy said, Janovich better have my money as he scored for fullbacks everywhere.
But don't kick the Texans while they're down, Kareem Hunt, because David Cully has turned Houston into a covering machine. Browns 31, Texans 21.
What? What? To the Meadowlands, where Zach, Mr. I.N.T.
Wilson, had not one, not two, not three, but four interceptions against the hoodie. Jets fans are asking Tony Braxton Berrios to please unbreak my heart as the J-Men start 0-2 yet again.
Easy Mac Jones is looking like a ready-to-eat Kraft snack finished in 3.5 minutes or less. We talking about the quarterback or the owner, Boom? The Jets are slinging to their head coach.
Mo' bloodie, moblo-die, life goes on. Ah! Sa-la-la-la, life goes on.
Jets get Beatles. 25.
To the windy city where Dalton tried to say pain don't hurt after suffering a first quarter injury. That's a reference from Roadhouse, a movie most of our youths have never seen.
My good personal friend

Patrick Swayze was

a great man. R.I.P.

Come at me, bro. Kwon

Smith had a hell of a game with a pick

six, eight tackles, and a sack.

Darnell Mooneytoon said, that's

all, folks, but not so fast.

As Logan Paul Wilson said,

got your ball to Justin Fields,

making the game close in the fourth. And this game was on Fox, but it ended like a mole.
Burrow under Fields. Bears 20, Bengals 17.
What, what, what, what? Bungles. Some spread.
In Philadelphia, where Kyle Zanahan and the San Francisco 49ers gave the Eagles some Jimmy Barapolos and put them to sleep.

Nick, resign, sir.

Sir, sir. Sirianni

will be lucky to last four seasons

in Philadelphia. Popquez,

what was the silver lining for

the Eagles? That would be the

second-year receiver who had

117 yards, my dear Watkins.

Niners, 17.

The Eagles, 11.

We hop in our Derek Carr and drive west

on I-30. A long, long drive, that is.
As Peyton Barbarbarbarbarbarbaran for 36 yards. And Henry just say no to Ruggs.
Shot up the sideline and smothered the Steelers defense like Cozette. Must have crawled under my body for warmth.
Sorry, Adriana. Spoiler alert from him.
Denzel Tyler Perryman is going to show up in every film. Ben Roethlisberger doesn't watch porn anymore, but TJ Watt pulled his groin enough for the two of them as the Steelers lose their star pass rusher and fall to the Raiders 26-17.
And we head down to Tampa Bay, even though Gronk scored twice at tight end, in a touching tribute to my good friend Norm MacDonald, the Falcons locked up OJ. Howard, that is.
Mike Edwards with friends had a double bird score and the Falcons might be scrabbling to find another quarterback soon. Mike's stairway to Evans, Robert planted himself in the end zone twice

as the Bucs dropped their mooby dick on the Falcons

and rambled on to 2-0.

The Bucs, 48.

The Falcons, 25.

Out in the desert where Kyler Bill Murray

was the man that grew too little,

but it was Groundhog's Day for the Vikings,

missing another easy kick to win the game.

The Cardinals asked the Vikings, how do you like it? How do you like it? Rondell, more, more, more. As they flaunted an arsenal of weapons.
As is customary in German culture, Kirk Nowitzki, loves seeing his team get shit on as the clock struck zero. As there was a Viking funeral and Minnesota may have burned their chance at a championship.
Cardinals 34, Vikings 33. We go out to Seattle, where Tractor Cito was catching in like he's at the casino.
Ball's so big they don't fit inside the Speedo. Tractor Cito.
Tyler, I haven't seen a locket ship explode in space like that since 1986. You're absolutely right, Boone.
Ryan Tannehill found Julio down by the schoolyard, and the Titans are homeward bound with a win. The Titans 33, the Seahawks 30.
Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in NOLA, such a fine sight to see. It's a step back, my lord.
After a big leap forward. Haters love to see those INTs.
Come on, Chuba. Move, bitch, like Luda.
Smoke the victory cigar. Straight out of Cuba.
Panthers 17? No 24? Saints 26? Less than 26 Saints 7? I got that right. Saints go marching somberly second line funeral week 2 in the books obviously we have Monday Night Football I used sandwiches were just, you know, basic.
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Okay, week two in the books. Monday Night Football, obviously.
I like to say week two in the books. Okay, Monday Night Football is a standalone thing.
We just had... It's football dessert.
It is football dessert. We just had an incredible primetime game.
We're going to recap every game, but we're going to start, obviously, with Sunday Night Football like we always do. Holy shit, the primetime games have been incredible this year, minus one.
We can just leave that one there. But that was awesome.
That was a good old-fashioned shootout. It was a Ravens team that really wanted to win, really desperately wanted to win, finding a way to win.
John Harbaugh with his big old balls. I love, love, love that he was like, looked at Lamar Jackson, was like, do you want to go, you want to go for this on fourth and one to end this game? Let's fucking do it.
The right, even if they hadn't gotten it, I still think it's the right call because you can't give the ball back to Patrick Mahomes. Yeah.
I mean, with Lamar Jackson, it's the right call. He's probably one of a handful, maybe three, four quarterbacks that you actually would trust and be like, yes, I would rather take my chances with you.
And Lamar Jackson, he does a lot of things really well. Maybe the most impressive thing that he's done as quarterback of the Ravens is make a Harbaugh believe in analytics.
Yes. And believe in taking these types of chances.
And yeah, he started out slow, but I want to say for the record, that interception should be credited to Sammy Watkins. The very first one should.
The second one was bad, bad, bad. Well, it was basically the full Lamar Jackson experience on display.
Because, yes, the first interception, Sammy Watkins fell down. The second interception was on him, but he made incredible passes.
He had two interceptions. He was unstoppable in the run game, flipping into the end zone.
He was 16 carries for 107 yards and two touchdowns running the ball. It was like everything good and bad about Lamar Jackson on display, and the good obviously way outweighs the bad and you saw it tonight and it's like hey listen it's only week two so you can't make any big proclamation from week two other than I don't think the Jaguars or Jets are going to the playoffs but the Ravens even themselves they have admitted it out loud that the Chiefs have had their number so to win a game like this this, coming back from what? They were down like 11 or something.
They were down, I think they were down over 10. It looked out of hand in the first half.
Even in the second. When they found, was it Pringle? They found Pringle open in space.
Then they found Kelsey open in space. And it looked like the Chiefs were just going to do the thing where they score at will.
Where it's just like, hey, Patrick Mahomes, if I were him, I would simply throw a touchdown at this point in time. And it was working.
That was working for the Chiefs. But then the Ravens defense buckled up a little bit.
The offense controlled the clock. That last drive that Lamar took him on down the field was like an eight-minute drive.
Yeah, it was incredible. Yeah, it was really good.
The only thing about Lamar Jackson, he made me very nervous jumping into the end zone for that last touchdown. scary insane also upside down but like if you're lamar jackson it's probably not as scary as if you or i did it also hilarious that this was like the first sunday where we really feel the effects of the new taunting rules and how fucking stupid they are and then lamar jackson flips in the end zone it's like that was sweet can you talk i want it to be sweet like right I want it on the record.
I want Lamar Jackson flipping in the end zone. It's like, that was sweet.
Can you talk? I want it to be sweet. Like, I want it on the record.
I want Lamar Jackson flipping in the end zone. I also want a guy who gets a sack to be able to flex and, like, do the big balls dance and, you know, and crawl around on the ground and do, like, a 15-second long elaborate dance.
They deserve it. It's crazy to me that the NFL.
Well, it's not crazy because the NFL will will always do something like this but when you have like defenders a a good defensive lineman plays an entire season and they win at what like they win 15 times on i don't know hundreds and hundreds of snaps like i'm talking 15 sacks in a in a really that's a really good season right they should get to fucking celebrate. Yeah.
Like, the amount of times, the amount of snaps, like I'm talking 15 sacks in a really, that's a really good season, right?

They should get to fucking celebrate.

Yeah.

Like the amount of times, the amount of snaps taken that end in a sack is less than 1%,

I would imagine they should get to fucking celebrate.

I personally can't wait for Roger Goodell to step in and say, guess what?

I'm revoking the new taunting penalties and then we'll have to give him a round of applause

for doing the right thing and limiting the rule that he brought in that completely screws the game over. But you're right.
It's stupid. Can you taunt during a play? Is that legal? No.
Can you give the deuces? Well, that's a lot of people say that maybe it was because of the deuces given by Winfield in the Super Bowl. Okay.
That was the viral deuces that were given to Tyreek Hill. Some owner was like, probably Mr.
Mara, if we're going to be honest here. Let's just say it was probably Mr.
Mara. I don't think anyone out here wants to see that big cat.
Yeah, he and his wife probably stayed up until like 3 in the morning after the Super Bowl, and they're like, I still can't get that out of my head. He gave the deuces.
What does that mean? You remember when Marshawn Lynch used to actually just grab his dick during a play as he jumped in the end zone? I want more of that. Iconic.
I want teams to taunt as much as possible, and then it's on the other team to stop them from taunting. Don't let them do anything that deserves a taunt to begin with.
There's that clip out there that tells you everything. Bill Belichick is the most like, you know play the game do your job no fun i'm not laughing you've never seen me smile guy in the world and then there's a clip i think it i think he was maybe talking to a college football team and he was like when you do a good play you should celebrate you've worked your ass off for this like you worked hard all your life to get to a certain moment where if you do something great enjoy that moment and then get on to the next play if bill belichick is saying that celebrations are good like come on get fucking figure it out but either way i want to see the the game go to such an extent where we can't tell if they're celebrating or exhibiting tremendous sportsmanship to the other team yes the only the old Jake Marsh trick.
If you burn somebody down the field, if Tyreek Hill, instead of giving the deuces, burns someone down the field by 30 yards, scores a touchdown, walks over to them as they're going to the sidelines, and shakes their hand extremely firmly, is that going to be a taunting penalty? I don't know. You can't judge intent.
Shakes their hand. Gives them the knucks while they're running yeah maybe maybe pounds it up go ahead jake so i'm reading the uh word for word definition of what taunting is baiting or taunting acts or words abusive threatening or insulting languages or gestures towards players coaches and officials okay insulting is that is double sportsmanship insulting it could be yeah you have to ask the person who's being sportsmanshiped not the person who's giving the sportsmanship.
We should probably implement taunting at part of my team. On this podcast.
I know that Hank, like every picture he's ever taken from us is insulting. So, taunting.
Illegal. 15 yard penalty.
Billy insults our intelligence. Yes, yes.
Every single time though, Hank takes a picture of us. It's not our fault that we're ugly and fat.
It's Hank's fault. That's taunting.
It's the camera. It's the camera's fault.
It's the camera. All right, I want to go back really quick.
One last thing about the Ravens-Chiefs game. Blueprint game? Could be a blueprint game.
The blueprint is force a fumble on Clyde Edwards-Alaire on the last drive. And also, I love it when people say this felt like a game that the team that had the ball last was going to win.
I think that's most games. Yeah.
Well, no, I mean, the Bills-Dolphins game was definitely not that. It's most non-Philip Rivers games.
Yes. But, no, the reason why I say I'm throwing out the blueprint game, the Ravens were very clearly saying anyone else can beat us except Tyreek Hill.
Tyreek Hill ended up with three catches and 14 yards. Like that's very, very, very, I mean, he had four targets.
So it's not even like he was dropping the ball or like miss Pat. He wasn't open because they were just putting the entire defensive, like, everyone was focused on him.
And, yeah, obviously the Chiefs ended up scoring 35 points. One was a pick six.
So, when I say blueprint, it's a little tongue-in-cheek because you can't really blueprint for the Chiefs offense. But it is kind of interesting to be like, hey, we're not going to let this one guy do it.
Everyone else has to play perfect. And you see what happens Clyde Edwards-Solaire like you know he's got to play everyone's got to play perfect and they can't it's harder to play perfect when you have your best player and your most explosive weapon kind of erased from the game the blueprint is have Lamar Jackson on your team and Patrick Ricard at fullback have a guy that weighs 311 pounds and moves like a tight end yeah no so so just just look out for it blueprint what if what if lamar had been like no john i think we should punt it here that would have been jogged up field it's actually it's it's a sneaky move by harbaugh asking like publicly asking lamar jackson what he thinks we should do on this play every time because if it works true then everyone tweets out out the Stan Marsh, I've got big balls thing.
If it doesn't work, then it's like, well, Lamar said that they should go for it. So you got to go with what Lamar says in that circumstance.
Well, let's do this. He trusts his players.
This is a good segue to our first game, the Texans-Browns, because we had a moment with David Cully, the Texans head coach, I got to remind everyone of that. Where I don't think I've ever seen this happen before.
So to set the stage, the Texans picked up. This is happening in the second quarter.
Start of the second quarter, 7-7 game. The Texans picked up a 13-yard play on 3rd and 15.
So 3rd and 15, they pick up 13 yards. The Browns are called for offsides.
The Texans can now choose to go for it fourth and two or third and ten. Take the penalty, go for it on third and ten or fourth and two.
Okay. They decided to decline the penalty, go for it on fourth and two, and then punt on fourth and two.
Yep, that was their go for it play. I don't think I've ever seen that before.
You've got to punt to win. I have never seen that.
Field position. Field position is worth more than points in the NFL.
We have gotten to a point in today's NFL where I am now shocked when teams don't go for it on fourth down. it's anything between like the 30 35 and 35 like you're just like okay they're gonna go for it like the the math says go for it and then you have david cully who's just a throwback like nope fourth and two we're gonna decline the penalty not go for it on third down not getting extra down we're gonna punt on fourth and two you know what he was saying Just don't let great be the enemy of good.
Yeah. And so he was like, you know what? We could cut our losses right now.
And you punt, you live to fight another day. Anything could happen on that third and ten play.
Anything could happen. Yeah.
I mean, you could turn the ball over. You could throw an interception.
You might get worse field position for your punt that's coming up. Yep.
I don't know. David Culley, I actually think what he's doing is he just didn't want to run another offensive play and risk injury to any of the players that he's going to be trading away later on in the season.
Maybe he has a certain amount of plays, and he was like, if I do this play, I might run out of plays. Yeah.
So that makes sense. The Browns, though, they – I mean, we all know the recipe for the Browns.
Run the ball, run the ball, and Baker Mayfield be efficient.

They had that today.

Obviously, Tyrod Taylor gets hurt.

The Texans, Pete Prisco really nailed it.

The Texans are a professional team.

Cover the spread.

I think they would have actually been a little bit closer if Tyrod didn't get hurt.

But Davis Mills, welcome on in.

So, yeah, is Davis Mills the next up in the line of the good luck Chuck quarterbacks? The Josh Allen, the Baker Mayfield, and the Justin Herbert? Yep. Next up? Thursday night.
Thursday night football. Davis Mills, baby.
Davis Mills, America, know that name. Because we're going to have full-on Davis Mills on Thursday night.
Mills-mania. It's going to be great.
It's going to be Mills-mafia. Yeah, there you go.
Let's fucking do it. I'm in.
I'm all in on Mills-mafia. We might actually – what just happened right now, for people who might just be half-listening, in like a course of a 10-second clip there, PFT and I just put substantial bets on the Texans on Thursday night just for that.
Who are they even playing? Dude, the Panthers, right? Mills Mafia, bro. Saying Mills Mafia, that's worth six points right there.
It is. And here's the thing about Mills.
We got to jump through charcuterie boards. Yeah, I'm telling you.
David Culley didn't want to put all of the Mills playbook on tape knowing that he was going going to be on primetime on Thursday night. So he held back a little bit.
There's not going to be anything to study. So who knows? Who knows what you're going to get with Mills? No one circles a wagon like the whatever's name is Mills.
Davis Mills, yeah. Davis is, listen, I don't know if I'm going to offend anyone who's listening to this podcast right now, but if you name your kid davis you're just asking for him to be a douchebag well like if you introduce him as davis uh-huh that's the last name that's the last name that's a great last we we always say like don't trust a quarterback with two first names i think two last names is even worse if you introduce your seven-year-old as davis he's probably wearing a sweater and he probably is being like ew don't shake my hand poor person yeah what i hear when i see davis i was like well your father wrote david on the birth certificate and then his handwriting was so shitty they thought it was davis do you think there's ever been a davis that didn't have a trust fund uh probably not okay i'm trying to think about davis love definitely had a trust fund that's it davis is just that's a name davis davis not just yeah you were so close to david a good name a solid name uh-huh and you went with davis if i was davis mill i would just go by dave yeah and then everyone would assume that you're a david or davy or davy yeah davy davy mills is a good name but seriously dav Davis is a very good last name, and then you just took it and put it as a first name.
Yeah, so who knows what's going to happen with these texts. I just, I knew that they were going to cover against the Browns, because like you said, these guys are professionals.
They get paid to play football too. The Browns don't blow anybody out.
Baker looked like he got hurt in the first half, and then he proceeds to score a touchdown touchdown rushing and they immediately do the celebration with him where they jump into his shoulder. The flying leap into the shoulder that just got hurt.
It was like a perfect Browns game though because Baker was 19 for 21 and then Chunt ran for like 150 yards. Chunt baby.
That is the formula for the Browns. It really is.
Just Chunt them to death. I also want to give a quick shout out to Browns fans.
I don't know if you saw that clip that was very funny. The Muni lot is back open, and it was open for about 45 minutes before we had our first, like, everyone clear out, let's have a fist fight.
Brown on Brown fan, which was great. Like, the Browns were just like, hey, we haven't seen each other in forever.
We're on the same team, but we have to fucking fight. They don't know how to handle success.
That's a classic case of Browns fans not knowing how to handle expectations. We're so good.
I'm uncomfortable with having all this optimism going into a game where we're expected to win. When was the last time the Browns were expected to win by 12 and a half points? Probably decades.
Yeah, it's been a while, but I love the idea that those guys were maybe even at the same tailgate. In the first half hour, they were hugging.
Great to be back. Fans are back in Cleveland.
This is awesome. And they're like, all right, fuck this.
Let's just fucking fight. We're standing next to some porta potties.
We're drinking some beers. Let's just fist fight, okay? Let's get this out of the way.
Everyone knows they want to see a fist fight. Let's give the people what they want i think what we're seeing with browns fans is there's becoming like a natural schism between browns fans that are optimistic and browns fans that still have that thought in the back of their head of same old browns right we're gonna stink again and then the optimistic browns fans are like hey we don't need you around here anymore that's not what us browns fans we're not the same browns yeah we're not like one guy shows up wearing the jersey with all the quarterback names on the back and then that sends everybody flying off the handle around him um i'm very much looking forward to watching the browns progress through the season because i think stefanski is a really good head coach i think he i think he's like top three in the league his face when david cully punted on fourth and two was hilarious what would you do if you were because if i were in that position and another professional coach was like punting after accepting that penalty i would feel like i was fucking up like the other guy knew something i was missing something i'd probably throw a flag yeah joe judge it challenge we have to challenge something here yeah we got to figure this out um okay next up we have uh r-Colts.
Rams beat the Colts 27-24. Carson Wentz got a shovel pass intercepted.
It's tough to do. It's a Madden glitch.
You throw your controller through your TV when that happens in Madden. You're like, what the fuck? That's the play where you press the pass button too quickly after getting the ball, after hiking it to yourself.
Yeah, I don't know if they read his eyes or what it is, but Carson Wentz, he is the biggest pass in the NFL right now. His shins keep getting longer, and I don't think I've ever seen a play where it starts out and Carson Wentz looks like he's in trouble, and then he makes the play turn out better.
I think he just panics like a cat in a room filled with loud instruments. Just panics, freaks out, and always somehow he manages to make it worse.
But I will say he didn't play that badly today. It was just the red zone for the most part.
Yeah, so two out of the first three trips the Colts had, they got within the five and got no points. They also got a field goal in the middle, so they went no points, field goal, no points, and the field goal was also kind of a squandered situation.
Here's what I don't understand about Carson Wentz. So he has, this is a crazy stat, he has been sacked at least three times in 12 straight games.
Three times in 12 straight games. That's a lot of sacks, right? You would think a guy who's been sacked as much as him would know how to get sacked.
Instead, he's never seen like a sack alignment, like, you know, coming down on top of him that he didn't think I can get out of this like he is he is always in his head like I'm one spin away I'm one errant toss I can just throw this I can just do a quick spin I can throw it like he is he's essentially uh like a middle-aged guy who still thinks that he can like dunk you know what I mean like he like I got this I got this let me just loosen up a little bit and I'll be fine and every time it just looks crazy like you said a total spaz but he has so much practice getting sacked that you'd think just give up dude just give up every now and then I even think most of his sacks take place and he either throws interception throws a forward pass that goes incomplete fumbles a ball but then the play is blown dead because his knee was already down when he did that weird thing at the end of it. He doesn't take normal sacks, that's for sure.
He never takes normal sacks. He also had one of the most impressive throws of the day.
Did you see that? When he was getting absolutely smoked in the face and threw it like 40 yards down the field. I think it was in the first quarter.
Again, it wasn't all on him. The Colts, I think, are probably a team that just had a really shitty scheduling break to start the season, going with the Seahawks and the Rams, who are both very good teams.
I am going to make, right here and now, the Colts my official pinky team. Okay.
So, for people who don't know, it was like four years ago, three years ago, I said I would cut off the tip of my pinky if the Houston Texans won the Super Bowl.

They started 0-2, and then they won nine straight games.

Got a little nerve-wracking there.

So every year, it's a pinky team where if they start 0-2, and they had legitimate Super Bowl aspirations, which I think the Colts definitely qualify for that.

People were dark horse.

You know, we don't talk about the Colts enough. So they will officially be the team.
The Indianapolis Colts will not win the Super Bowl. And if they do, I'll cut off the tip of my pinky.
I think we could probably arrange for Quentin Nelson to do the amputation as well. Great.
Get him in the studio. I don't think I trust him.
You don't trust him just to take the tip off? He would cut my whole hand off. He would bring in his own axe.

They're not going to go anywhere.

And again, it has to be an 0-2 team.

I thought you were going to take the Vikings.

No, I'm not going to take that.

I think I took the Vikings maybe last year or the year before.

I think the Colts are a little bit more dangerous.

So they've got the interior line play, I think. Yeah.
If you're a real football expert like we are, today we were watching the game within the game, and that was Aaron Donald going up against Quentin Nelson. I think Aaron Donald got the best of them.
And the AFC South is definitely a winnable. The Colts could win the AFC South, and I will look stupid.
I don't know if you saw Urban Meyer's apology that team looks like it's ready to go on we'll get to that he did he's trying to channel uh Tim Tebow the only other note I had from this game is uh stats that I wish or facts that I wish I had known before the season started um Cooper Cup and Matthew Stafford eat breakfast every single day together shit so no one wish we had that. Wish we had known that.
Well, all I heard when the Rams were on Sunday Night Football, they said, Cooper Cup, you would not believe how early this guy gets to the practice facility. He and Matt Stafford.
It's got to be a real battle when you've got Cooper Cup. How early do you have to get up in the morning to be the first one in? Cooper Cup might just live in the facility.
He might just live on Eastern Standard Time. Yeah.
You know, and just do it that way. Which way does the sun come up? West.
West. West.
West. Okay.
West. It rises in the west and sets in the south.
Fact. But, yeah, so Cooper Cup, 16 catches, 271 yards, and three touchdowns through two games.
He had, like, 170 yards today. It was crazy.
But this is – I wish I had known they were breakfast buddies. Yep.
Because that really, if you can handle someone first thing in the morning to sit down and like talk to them first thing in the morning, you're really good friends with them. That tells me it's a new friendship though.
It's going to be tough for them to keep that up as long as the season goes. They've been doing it for a few months.
Like there's very few people in the world. They got a bromance going on.
Everything's spicy. Everything's new.
They're learning each other's bodies. It's fun.
It's exciting. Could you think like, imagine if any of us in this room were like, hey, let's get breakfast together every morning.
What? No, because I. What's wrong with you? Who eats breakfast? That and also what, why I don't want to sit and talk to someone first thing in the morning.
Yeah. I honestly can't imagine eating breakfast because it would just make me want to go back to sleep.
Yeah. It's basically eating breakfast with someone is like if you're an old retiree and you're like, okay, we'll go to breakfast.
But then you see them. But that's basically- It's a couple and they don't even speak.
Yeah, but that's- They just sit together. That's also basically lunch for them because they go to bed at 5 o'clock in the evening.
i'm actually so so ready for that lifestyle of like eating breakfast at 6 a.m and and eating dinner at five sounds great do you think they read the paper yeah i read the paper i can see matt stafford reading the paper yeah just sit there but i wish i had known that because clearly that's a connection and uh yeah fuck and also matt stafford through two games he's passing the test of oh matt stafford's really good when he's on a winning team yep he looks the part yeah rams look dangerous this this was a game that i thought that the colts might win going into it just because i did traveling east they're looking for a win they they are supposedly a good team um so yeah i was surprised was surprised that the Rams were able to pull it off.

But, yeah, the Rams, I think up to this point,

the Rams are the best-looking team overall in the NFC.

NFC, but I mean the Bucs have looked awesome.

Yeah.

But they played the Falcons today.

Yeah.

They beat the Cowboys, who now we're doing the two-game.

Are the Cowboys good?

I'm getting caught in the two-game zone.

Yeah, like the Cowboys might be good.

Well, they beat the Chargers.

Seahawks stink.

Seahawks suck.

The Chargers beat the football team, who barely beat the Giants.

And then the Cowboys beat the Chargers.

Right, right.

Everybody sucks.

Everybody sucks, except probably the Bucs.

Yep.

That's pretty much it.

And the Rams. All right, next up, Bears-Bengals.
I'll just say it from the start. I hope Andy Dalton's okay.
What was Matt Nagy doing? What was he doing keeping Andy Dalton in the game? You could ask that question all the time. No, but after he was hurt.
You have your excuse right there. PFT, he promised him.
He promised him in March. He's like, I'm going to put you back in so that you'll get more injured? He promised him in March.
I think he was trying to kill Andy Dalton. No, he promised him.
I think some people are willing to go out on their shield. Andy Dalton is the hill that Matt Nagy wants to die on.
He's got a little cemetery plot picked out right on top of Andy Dalton's head. He's like, when this guy dies, I'm going down with a ship.
He promised him. I mean, if you promise someone something in March, you have to go through with him no matter what.
But I hope Andy Dalton's okay. Not like too okay that he can come back and play, but okay just in a walk at his kid's graduation deal.
Yep, hopefully. Derek Rose.
So, yeah, obviously he goes down. The real story of this game was the bears defense looked incredible they had four takeaways four sacks nine qb hits and a touchdown they were all up in joe burrow's ass joe burrow had three interceptions in three straight pass attempts and roquan smith was fucking awesome but justin fields playing that obviously was very very exciting not awesome like we can I'll be honest it wasn't like he wowed every you know every play through a really bad interception where he got tricked um Allen Robinson did drop a really easy like a dime that he threw to him but this is exactly why I've wanted Justin Fields to play beginning.
Rookie quarterbacks aren't a finished product. They're never going to be perfect, but they're going to learn a lot more from playing and making mistakes.
Like Justin Fields made a mistake with that interception that he probably won't, he'll at least next time be able to see it and be like, oh, they bluffed the blitz here. Maybe I shouldn't just trust what my eyes see pre-snap and throw it over the middle.
I want to see that. I want to see the guy struggle and come back from it, and he made that huge play to ice the game with his feet, and that's the dynamic that he adds to the team.
I'm just happy. It's not about him looking awesome from the beginning.
It's about him progressing and looking better as he goes along, and I saw the flashes. I saw the moments.
He can throw the ball downfield, which Andy Dalton can. And let's fucking go.
So Andy Dalton, I hope you're okay, but not too okay. Justin Fields also had the game-winning fumble recovery.
One of the best fumble recoveries that I've seen. He had like hungry, hungry hippo arms.
It was incredible. Where he just shot his arm out, grabbed it, pulled it back.
If we're keeping, we don't keep track of that stat, I don't think. Nope.
But we should. It's one of the best fumble recoveries I've ever seen.
He's got those quick arms. He's got the quick twitch.
I actually don't think that Matt Nagy had any plays ready to go for Justin Fields. Probably not.
I don't think they practiced anything. No.
I think what they had him run today was the Andy Dalton package. And, yeah, I know he ran the ball like 10 times or whatever.
There were some design runs there. I actually think that those plays were in there for Andy Dalton too.
Like Matt Nagy was going to have Andy Dalton run the Justin Fields package. And Andy Dalton looked good on his first drive.
He scored, you know, it was 7-0 for a very long time in this game. But yes, you're probably exactly right.
Like he didn't have anything planned. Matt Nagy's not really a plan for the future kind of guy.
He's an emotional in the moment. Let me just make fucked up decisions and then be like really confrontational with the press after and be like, this is my team, my guys.
Justin Fields, like even the runs, that puts so much stress on a defense when you have a quarterback who can make those runs. And they were running a little read option.
You saw it with Sunday Night Football. Obviously, Justin Fields isn't Lamar Jackson.
That's not what I'm saying. But the element of him being able to get first downs with his feet and the element of, like, is he handing the ball off to David Montgomery or is he keeping it? It just adds another dynamic that the Bears didn't have with Andy Dalton.
And I'm at peace. I just hope he plays.
I know knowing Matt Nagy, he will probably find any way to get Andy Dalton back in, but again, I didn't think Justin Fields was incredible, but I don't care because all that matters is him progressing week to week and being in there and getting game action, and I don't think there's no delusion here. I don't think the Bears are a good team.
I think they have a lot of problems and they'll probably start rearing their ugly head again because the Bengals aren't great. So it's not me saying the Bears are back.
I just want to see Justin Fields play. That's all I want.
I thought Jamar Chase looked good again today. Yeah.
I don't know why they just don't have Jamar Chase run a nine route every time. Just like run directly past the cornerback and then have Joe Burrow throw the ball to you before the safety gets there.
That seems like it's a winning play to me. The Bears defense was playing lights out.
They were everywhere. Every time we had the game on, every time Joe Burrow was back, he was either under pressure or very covered.
All those receivers were very covered. The other note I had is just can we get Zach Taylor a shirt with a collar on it? Yeah.
I don't think he... Maybe a name tag? He wears those dry fit shirts that you get for free from your football program to work out twice in.
Yeah. And he wears those on the sidelines.
He's a guy that... He needs a collar.
Yes. Show me just a little bit of like, I'm a coach.
Right. Exactly.
Could even be maybe a faux turtleneck. Yeah, sure.
Or a crew neck even. Yeah, like a John Harbaugh fake turtleneck.
He could do the mock turtleneck. That works.
He could just do a crew neck sweatshirt like what you're wearing right now. I would say that that's more of it.
He has the thinnest collars on the dry fit shirts. He's got bacon collars.
Bacon collars. They wrinkle up.
Every guy deals with bacon collars. Kevin Bacon and Michael Jordan.
Shout out. That was quite a mustache he had in that commercial.
Yes, it was. Yes, it was.
But that also proves why he's the GOAT. Yep.
Because he could do a Hitler mustache and still survive. Nobody said anything about it.
No one says anything. Imagine LeBron does that.
We wouldn't let him off the hook. Definitely not.
Sheesh. Sheesh.
All right. So that was the Bears, Bengals.
Bears are on the board. Also, I'm not just saying it, but I think, no, wait, I don't think the Patriots don't have the tiebreaker, but our two teams are first in the division.
First place in the division right now. It looks good.
That's all you can ask for from your guys, right? Put yourself in a position to compete. And right now, cat burn seat, baby.
First place in the division. All right, next up, Bill's Dolphins.
Tua's got a rib injury. I've diagnosed it.
It's serious to mild. Mild to serious.
No fractures, but as anybody that has had a rib injury will tell you, not a lot of treatment between a broken rib and just a bruised ego, I guess, is what he has. I also think his shoulder might be fucked up.
Okay. Not to do this again, but I do think he was acting a little weird.
Okay. All right.
Maybe his hip. You're going to get it right eventually.
Yeah, maybe his hip, ribs, hip, and shoulder. That's what I thought initially when he landed and he started limping off the field.
Yeah. Maybe the hip again.
Oh, I knew it was classic ribs. He got carted off the field.
Yeah. He got carted into the locker room with ribs.
You always get carted off for a rib injury. Do you? Yeah.
Okay. Totally.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on with Tua right now, but honestly the offense might have looked better with Brissette. And it didn't look that great.
They couldn't block for shit. Hank says no.
They couldn't block for shit. They were getting destroyed by the Bills defense.
Yeah, Brissette looked bad too. Yeah, they couldn't was sometimes you you watch a football game for some reason what I mean their offensive line isn't their strength of their team but you're like okay well they are fucked all game because they couldn't like I think I think two got sacked on the first two drop backs like he was he had no chance so when the Bills defense is good there's like two things obviously like Josh Allen when he's throwing the ball well that's great but when the Bills' defense is good, there's like two things.
Obviously, like Josh Allen, when he's throwing the ball well, that's great. But when the Bills' defense is good and their run game is good, then that's when Josh can really beat Josh and start doing things like, remember when he threw across his body for that touchdown? Which you're not allowed to do.
Not allowed to do unless you're Josh Allen. But still, we're supposed to say, we're supposed to keep the Bills in check, remember? Yeah.
And kind of like keep expectations down. Takeosh bad throw good result the process was wrong we don't celebrate results here we celebrate the process we celebrate the ingredients that go into the dish not the final bite so josh take a lap yep hit the weight room give me some reps come back stronger don't make that mistake again you got away with it this time you did but you won't next time no but it's awesome because he's really the only guy who – Mahomes and Josh Allen are the two guys.
Maybe Rodgers, you throw him in there in terms of arm strength where you're like, that's a really bad pass, but it's a really great pass. So when he did it, you could see him process what was about to happen.
Yeah. And he thought, I'm not supposed to do it, but fuck it.
Yeah. And it was pretty cool.
I'm not supposed to do it, but my coaches don't have this fucking arm exactly yeah like they can coach me all they want if they lived one one day with this fucking arm they would they would do it yeah so uh i mean the question i have is do the bills have their swagger back this was a big time swagger back game yeah i mean they they just theyphins. This game was unwatchable, and yet we watched it.

We watched every second of it because we have a Dolphins fan as a co-worker,

and we watched it all.

And Jake.

Jake and Frank.

The Bills also have Washington and Houston next, both at home.

Oh.

They can get some momentum.

Swagger back.

Swagger back.

But that Kansas City at Tennessee.

So they're going to be two and two is what you're saying.

Got it.

Swagger restore.

Maybe tie with Washington.

Oh, the Texans will beat them?

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you. Swagger back.
Swagger officially back. But they're at Kansas City at Tennessee.
So they're going to be 2-2 is what you're saying. Got it.
Swagger restore. Maybe tie with Washington.
Oh, the Texans will beat them? Yeah. All right.
I mean, David Cully's punting game is second to none. Davis Mills.
Mills Mafia meets Mills Mafia. Damn.
All right. Circle that one, folks.
The Millsian man march. That's going to be a game.
Yeah, that game, though. I don't know.
The Bills just were so much better than the Dolphins. The Dolphins had – I don't think that – Brian Fuller is a good coach.
One game isn't an indictment, but they clearly have some issues with their offensive line. And then Tua – Tua looked bad before he got hurt, and then he got hurt, and now you're just asking yourself what's going on.
Now Deshaun Watson rumors, all that shit. I have no idea how that's going to work out are they going to trade for Deshaun like give up all those picks get Deshaun and then start him in a game like next week is that a possibility I don't know is Deshaun Watson like he's probably going to have FBI surveillance on him at the game yeah well he's going to have people wearing the windbreakers the blue windbreakers in the stands with binoc binoculars, making sure that that's where he is, keeping tabs on them.
I will say that if DeSean Watson does get traded to Dolphins, he will look awesome in those colors. Of course.
He will look electric. Brissette does not.
Nope. I called that.
If you remember, when he got traded there or signed there, I was like, that's not going to be a good look. Well, he's not exciting enough of a player.
And also, he's hefty or yeah a little bit bigger but let's just say this jacoby percent i'm not worried about his ribs getting damaged no definitely not he's got an extra he does enough damage to other people's ribs yes cow's ribs yes um all right patriots jets uh i would like to start with the uh lasting image of this game so patriots win 25-6 the lasting image of this game. So Patriots win 25-6.
The lasting image of this game was our dear Billy Football in a Zach Wilson jersey mumbling to himself, he's got to be hurt or something. He's got to be injured after Zach Wilson threw his fourth interception.
Billy, would you like to maybe tell us what his injury is? It was such a i actually turned to you i was like billy if you need help like defending a quarterback even though everything he puts out on film is terrible i'm your guy because i've been doing it forever like i there's a lot of quarterbacks that i've had to defend when everything that they've actually done you you're like, that doesn't make sense. So I am here for you, but walk us through the thought process.
Look, first off, Bill Belichick had rave reviews to say about Zach Wilson yesterday. He said, that kid is going to be good.
He is good, and he made some beautiful throws today. That's Bill Belichick's words.
Right. Now let me tell you.
Now let me tell you. Justin Herbert, two picks and went less than 50% completion rating in his first start against Bill Belichick.
Josh Allen, three picks. First start against Bill Belichick.
So, you know, there is present for good quarterbacks, rookies, to not do well against Bill Belichick. Yeah, but the thing is that Zach Wilson threw twice as many interceptions as Justin Herbert did.
But those back-to-back ones in the beginning really set a bad tune for the rest of the game. Yeah, how about Billy? Can I just step in real quick? Just say he throws such a catchable spiral the defenders have an easy time picking it off.
No, you could tell that at the end of the game and Coach Salah said that he was just sort of trying to... By the way, that's the right pronunciation.
Okay. I was trying to just sort of make something happen at the end of these games and just hucking them up.
Like sort of almost not... Like unplanned Hail Marys.
I call them spontaneous Hail Marys.

And they didn't really get on as you thought.

I have a staff for you, Bill, that will make you feel better.

Zach Wilson

not under pressure. We're not

under pressure today. He went

15 for 23 for

132 yards.

Zach Wilson

went not under pressure today, went 15 for 23 for 132 yards. Zero interceptions? Four interceptions.
They were not under pressure. So he had all four of his interceptions were not under pressure.
The first one was. It was an early throw.
I didn't play football. I don't know all the coverages and stuff.
What was the one when the guy that caught the interception didn't have to move his feet and the receiver was nowhere within like 10 yards of the ball? That one was sort of for, I was sort of like watching that. That's when I was like, he's hurt.
That's when you mumbled like, he's gotta be hurt. He's gotta be hurt.
I'm like looking at it and like, I understood where he was trying to get the ball, but it was so short that I was sort of like,

he's got to be hurt.

Not getting enough mustard on the ball. I like how Billy, before this game, he put his cards on the table and said,

if we win this game against the Patriots, I'm going to go Mormon for the entire month of October.

Which I like for a couple reasons.

One, because you're giving yourself a nice nine-day window to prepare to get all of your non-Mormon activities out of your system. And then also knowing that the Jets were not going to win this game against the Patriots.
You at least got to act like you were putting something at stake there. No, no.
I mean, there was a lot at stake. I actually thought the thing is Zach Wilson hasn't had his coming out party yet where he sort of shows everyone he's an amazing quarterback in the NFL.
And the Patriots weren't the best opponent for him to develop as a quarterback. So last week was pretty decent.
This week was a bump in the road. But if you had another team, maybe like Atlanta.
In London. In London.
Perfect. In three weeks.
Three weeks. There you go.
Yeah, I mean that I could see him do really well. Even maybe Denver would have been better.
No, no, no, no, no. I mean British people have to hate us by now.
That's next game. Next week in Denver? In Denver.
Just pull me down right now for my mortal lock of the century. I don't care what that spread is.
But he's used to the altitude from BYU. What do you think the spread's going to be? Yeah, let's play our favorite game.
Guess the spread. I don't think it's...
Guess the spread, Jets versus the Broncos. Four.
No, I'm going to say seven and a half. But he doesn't...
You think four? They were just six-point favorites to the Jags in Jacksonville. It's going to be like seven and a half, I bet.
It's ten and a half. Ten and a half.
Look, I might actually take the Jets. That's a lot of points.
Those guys get paid to play, too. But, you know, Belichick's warlock magic isn't involved.
We've got to remember this was Belichick's warlock magic. This wasn't just four picks.
Vic Fangio's never coached defense. Yeah, well, we've got to pull up.
What's Vic Fangio's defense's record against rookie quarterbacks? I have a feeling the reason why Belichick's so good against rookie quarterbacks is that he knows the coverage. But he's like 50-50 on the road.
Vic Fangio, well, he played a rookie quarterback today. Yeah.
Two interceptions, they've won by 10, and the only reason that they were even close to 10 was because of a kick return. Right.
So, I'm going to, I think I'm actually going to take the Broncos on that one. I just want to apologize to all of our British listeners who are going to have to watch the Jets and the Falcons.
They've been waiting. I'm not waking up for that.
They set their schedule every year around like, hey, we're going to go to the game at Wembley Field or wherever they're playing this year, and we export our worst products possible to them. Tottenham, where is that? That's like South Manchester.
That's gross. Is it a home game for the Falcons or the Jets? Home game for the Falcons.
Okay, so that's actually like... Sunday, October 10th, 9.30 a.m.
Falcons, we're going to get to them, but that's actually a relief for Falcons fans if they have one less home game. And the other game the week after is Dolphins-Jags.
Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.
Great Britain, they're going to reinvade us. They're going to start a war with us if we keep doing things like taking their prince and princesses and sending them our shittiest teams.
When do the Jaguars play the Jazz? Because Sneaky. Get that out of there.
Yeah. Stay after Christmas.
Sneaky, that could be a great game. No, he's going to say, Sneaky, Zach Wilson could be better than Trevor Lawrence.
So we're good. Yeah, Trevor Lawrence threw two picks today against a much inferior opponent.
The Broncos defense is really good. I know, but they're not Belichick.
But Vic Fangio's a really good defensive mind. I know, but still.
Okay, alright. Guess what? Good news is, we'll find out next week.
That's the best part about this discussion. I've got a stat for you, big guy.
He's going to throw six next week. They said this during the game that Robert – how do you say the last name, Billy? Are you sure? Salah.
Salah? Okay, I'm going to trust Billy on this one as our Jets expert. Robert Salah and his seven kids and his wife and his nanny are all living in two hotel rooms together right now.
Chaos. I'm going to be betting against the Jets until they rectify that situation.
Yeah, they got to get a house. Because that is a man that is operating on no sleep.
He got hired like eight months ago. Yeah.
Tough. Maybe he just likes room service.
Maybe he just likes doing shampoo soup. Yep.
Shampoo soup. Doesn't matter.
Shampoo's Great, but not great for winning games. One actual good thing about the Jets, their defense didn't play terrible.
They ran the ball pretty well. And Zach Wilson was asked after the game, did he see ghosts? And he said no.
That's huge. They outplayed the Patriots besides the quarterback play.
Besides the quarterback play. I do think that their defense looked good today.

And their run game looked good.

No, you're right.

I have a question for Hank and PFT.

I will throw it out there.

Mac Jones, is he the first ever guy that you can say he's a game manager

but it's a compliment?

He's working his way into game shape.

He is a game manager right now.

They haven't gotten him to trust him to throw deep.

Which is fine.

Or far or anything like that.

That's right. He's working his way into game shape.
He is a game manager right now. They haven't gotten him to trust him to throw deep.
Which is fine. Or far or anything like that.
I'd say assistant to the game manager right now. Very nice, like 22 completions for 186 yards.
But when you say game manager for a rookie who's playing, starting game one, obviously the second game, but started game one, I think that's actually a compliment to be like, he's a game manager right now. Belichick, you know what happens is Belichick trusts him to do some things out there.
Yeah. But I was thinking about it, like, obviously whenever we say game manager, it's a terrible thing to say about a quarterback.
But I think this is the one case where it's actually a compliment because you're like, he's a game manager right now. Only way to go is up.
Yeah, I think when they're playing games against actually good teams when it's close and it's like a third and fourth quarter battle trying to get every advantage you can to win a game, it might be a little more frustrating, but he did everything he needed to do today and they won easily. He didn't lose the game.
He didn't make any Zach Wilson-type stupid interception throws. He just managed the game, did what he had to do.
Easy win. It was great that he got to compete against the guy that got picked so many spots ahead of him and show who clearly the better quarterback is right now at this point and that would be Mack over Zach.
Well it's more probably the system than anything. And also Zach Wilson might be injured.
I think if roles are, that's probably the same thing's going to happen. Who would you rather have right now, Zach Wilson or Mac Jones? Mac Jones, definitely.
Okay, so yeah, so he is the superior Ack. Yeah, for sure.
Mac over Zach. No doubt.
And Zach Wilson is an injury. Mac does one weird thing in the game, I've noticed.
Yes. So he threw the backwards bounce pass, like the the chest pass last week.
Today he improved on that a little bit and he threw a forward chest bounce pass when he was getting sacked. He just, you know, he tries to do too much sometimes, but He's a rookie.
It's a compliment to say he's a game manager. He gets those DUIs.
No, I'm saying it is. He is doing enough to win football games and I'm'm sure that he will progress him to a point where he can throw it deep and open up the offense for him.
All good quarterbacks are game managers. Good point.
That was philosophical. I feel like you progress from being a game manager.
The next step is you're a playmaker. Right?

That's the next in line?

Yeah.

Game manager, playmaker.

Or a gunslinger, but you don't want a gunslinger.

No, but a gunslinger can be a playmaker.

Like Josh Allen is a gunslinger,

and he's developed into a better game manager.

Fact or fiction?

I like this.

All quarterbacks are game managers.

Am I wrong about Josh Allen?

I disagree.

This is kind of like a coaching for his job. Like they actually are managing the game.
Exactly. They can be.
No, because sometimes a game manager can be a facilitator. That's like the worst version of a game manager.
Yeah. So you can facilitate and still stink.
You're actively running the offense. I seriously meant it as a compliment.
I took it as a compliment. No, I thought about it.
I was like, it's usually said as a bad thing. But for Mac Jones, I think it's a good thing that he's already winning a football game, doing the things right, and then they'll go from there.
I agree wholeheartedly. I just want to talk about Zach Wilson's four interceptions some more.
Mr. INT? Yeah, I apologize.
On the preview show, I said the Jets were probably going to score three points. They scored six.
So that was my bad. Boys, you're face red right now.
Yeah, so the Patriots account tweeted out after his third interception. I think it was only his second.
No, it was his third. It was his second for.
JC Jackson. Yeah, but it was his third interception overall.
The Patriots tweeted out like, Mr. INT back at it again.
Now, they're going to claim that they're referring to JC Jackson being Mr. INT, but for all intents and purposes, this podcast will be referring from this point forward to Zach Wilson as Mr.
INT. I just have this like sick feeling that the Patriots are going to get beaten by the Jets in the playoffs.
Which year? 2028? No, this year. This year? Yeah.
I feel like this is going to be a turning moment. And it's going to come back.
Whenever you start a sentence like that, I need you to specify if you mean sick as in really bad or sick as in totally sweet. No, I feel like this is that moment where everyone was talking shit about the Jets that they're going to go back to when they win.

This is the start of Zach Wilson's

championship DVD. As the Jets always do.

Yeah, like, sort of like the

box game blown out by the Saints

then coming back and winning, like, that's

sort of reversed. Okay, I can see that

happening. Yeah.

I don't see any difference between those two teams.

Maybe your head coach can buy a house first and then we can work on winning a playoff game he's working on it uh all right next up 49ers eagles uh i like jalen hurts i really do actually i think he's like gonna be good um but when you wear the jim carrey mask suit or better known to the kids is the Somebody Suck Me Dave suit before a game, you got to win the game. At bare minimum, you have to cover the spread.
You can't show up in the Somebody Suck Me suit and not win the game. I actually didn't see the suit.
Oh, yeah, he wore it. I agree.
I don't think I need to see it. Yeah, no.
And he wore it in the postgame, too. The full yellow suit.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Like the yellow pinstripe zoot suit. It wasn't fully zoot suit, but it was a canary yellow suit.
Jesus Christ. Yeah, you can't do that.
You have to. This is like quarterback 101.
You've got to string together at least a couple games. Before you break out the somebody suck me suit.
You have to be like at least four games away from getting benched for Nate Sudfeld. Yes.
To break out that suit. Yes.
I agree. So that was.
This game was like defensive battle. Very frustrating to watch.
I'm still like the Eagles. to sum up this game, the Eagles had a 91 yard pass completion and scored zero points from it.
That is really, really hard to do. A 91 yard pass completion and they scored zero points from it.
That's so impossible. I'm just starting to get frustrated because every time I see this 49ers offense, it's making me want to see Trey Lance operate it.
I know. Jimmy Garoppolo, nice guy.
Very nice guy. Very nice guy.
I'll say this about him. He takes porn stars out on a date before he has sex with him.
Not every guy would. Nope.
That's a great point. They might just be like, what room do you live in? They would just deliver the pizza.
I will show up. Yeah.

I'm Jimmy Garoppolo. I'm perverted and Italian.
Yep. Let's get it on.
But he took it out for dinner, paid for it, I would assume. Yep.
So he's a very nice guy. Very nice guy.
He got the 49ers to a Super Bowl. Very nice guy.
Could have won a Super Bowl. But every time I see that offense operate, it just makes me want to see what Trey Lance looks like in that offense.
and not to bring it back to Zach Wilson,

but I feel like performances like that are going to make Kyle Shanahan less likely to play his rookie quarterback he's going to make him gun is him gun shy because this offense could be really really good and fun to watch if Trey Lance is a good quarterback well and I guess the difference is, you know, all these different situations with the rookie quarterbacks, it's team by team. Like, the reason why Trevor Lawrence is starting is because the Jags stink.
The same with the Jets. Like, this is why I think Justin Fields should be playing because I don't think the Bears are a, like, Super Bowl contending team.
The 49ers actually are a Super Bowl contending team. So they kind of have to play Jimmy Garoppolo until Trey Lance can come in and be really good because you don't want to submarine a season that could be special with a rookie quarterback making mistakes.
So I understand why Jimmy Garoppolo is in, but I completely agree with you. It was frustrating watching this game.
It was just a defensive slugfest. I will say that the Niners' defense, I think they've had some injuries.
I just love a defense that tackles well, and they do. You can tell right away any defense that has four guys tackling a running back catching a screen pass, it's just awesome.
When they all just swarm to the ball, most defenses don't have that ability

or, I don't know, sense of urgency.

I just love watching a defense that swarms to the ball.

I also want to give credit to Kyle Shanahan

being the time zone god.

Kyle Shanahan, right now, I think he's 6-1 now

on the East Coast, and maybe 5-0 in his last five.

And before Kyle Shanahan was the coach of the Niners,

I believe they were 0-13 traveling to the East east coast time zones are a fickle little bitch yeah but kyle shanahan has figured him out he did it he did it um also brandon graham got injured i think he's out for the year achilles that sucks that's tough that sucks for the eagles uh speaking of time zones credit to the raiders fighting time zones i thought that was going to be a nice segue to an advertisement. No, it wasn't.
It was the Raiders going from Monday Night Football all the way to Pittsburgh and beating the Pittsburgh Steelers. Derek Carr redemption season is officially on.
Can someone find me the Raiders schedule when their next primetime game is? Because we will get a very sappy piece about Derek Carr and how no one believes in him and also Derek Carr had that thing where his postgame interview on the field on Monday night went viral so now everyone's gonna be trying to suck off that tit they're gonna be like we gotta get him he's emotional that was great we gotta fucking sit down with him talk with him we got Jake week four night at the Chargers. Monday night games in the first four weeks.
And who's he playing in week three? Home against the Dolphins next week. So if they go 3-0, and then they're oh my god, it's going to be an extended Derek Carr sit down.
Here's what I'm worried about. Susie Colbert, get ready.
Here's what I'm worried about. The Raiders peaking too early.
John Gruden.uden. Duh.
John Gruden. We know this.
We have this conversation like every year about John Gruden. And I find myself falling in.
I'm like, I think the Raiders might be for real. No, I wrote down.
Are they for real? I wrote down, say something nice about John Gruden because this is going to turn. Yeah.
This is going to turn on them. It happens like every year, mid-October.
Being around John Gruden, it's a bit much for longer than a couple months. Yes.
They do have a pretty favorable schedule. But they always turn.
They always turn. They'll probably beat the Chiefs or play well against the Chiefs, and then they won't win a game after that.
That'll be their Super Bowl. Think about all the weird shit that had to happen last week for them to win that week one game.
That type of stuff probably won't continue to fall into John Gruden's lap over the course TJ Watt gets injured today which is pretty significant yeah he's probably I don't know top 10 player in the NFL John Gruden saw the the punt that David Cully pulled where he accepted for it and was like you know what I'm gonna punt on fourth and one down two scores yep with less than 10 minutes left of the game. I love, so I'm going to say something nice about John Gruden.
I love that touchdown pass to Henry Ruggs when it's like third and 10. So it's set up this way.
Third and 10 on their own 39. They're up two.
So they're up 16-14. The Steelers had just scored a touchdown.
9-35 left in the fourth quarter. You can easily just be like, you know what? We're going to punt.
We're going to play defense. We're going to try to win this game that way.
He calls a bomb play to Henry Ruggs. Touchdown.
Game over. Like, that basically ended the game.
He went for it. 65-yard bomb.
I love that play call. I love that he went for it.
You could see it on his face after. He's like, fuck yes, man.
So that's my compliment to John Gruden. And also getting your team from an emotional Monday night win, short week, traveling to the East Coast.
That's impressive. That's impressive by the Raiders.
Yeah. I hope that it lasts.
I want John Gruden to be around in this. I guess he's going to be around no matter what because he's got like 20 20 more years left on his contract.
But I like, I like the Raiders as an idea. Yeah.
Right. I like the idea of the Raiders being a good team and a force because they're one of those, they're one of those.
The league is a better place. Yes.
When, when the Las Vegas Raiders are crazy shit. Um, should we have the conversation about how sad it is to watch Ben Roethlisberger play quarterback? I, Ben Roethlisberger doing his own hard knocks.
Have you seen that? Oh, is this similar to, what was it called? Bigger Than Ben. Bigger Than Ben.
No, this is a different one altogether. It got like 400 views on YouTube, this one.
Oh, no. And it's hard knocks, but if, you know what the pesky thing about hard knocks is? A lot of times when it comes out, the memories are almost too fresh.
So with Big Ben, he puts his out like four weeks after the events occur, and then you get to go back in time and watch Big Ben prepare for a preseason game. Nice.
So in this one, I think about six minutes of the 15 minutes were just him apple picking with his kids. Love it.
Which was great. And then him playing golf with his kids.
Love it. And then him driving to the stadium, scoring a touchdown, pointing at his wife and waving at her.
So it really gave you an all-inclusive backstage pass to Ben Roethlisberger's life. I highly recommend taking a look at it.
I'm going to have to watch it. I can't.
Jake, can you set a reminder for us for Halloween to go back and watch Big Ben's documentary on the week two game against the Raiders. Maybe we should start watching it and reviewing it instead of talking about Big Ben playing football because it's a bummer.
It's a bummer. That one sack that he took when he was trying furiously to climb the pocket and he just couldn't do it fast enough and someone, I think Max Crosby came all the way around and tripped him up.
That was sad. It was a sad thing to watch.
There were a few games this weekend where you could very starkly see the difference between new legs and legs on a player that has been in the league for a few years. And with Big Ben, his legs have been around.
There are a lot of mileage on there. And he can't throw it.
I mean, if he throws it deep, it's pretty much a 25% interception, 25% catch, 50% throws it 10 yards away from anyone on the field. Like, it's just, I don't know.
I'm sad. You know what? Let's not do this right now.
Let's wait. Let's give him a couple more weeks.
But the nice thing about Ben is he gets better the more injured he gets. Yeah.
So I think the problem with Big Ben is he's too healthy right now. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
And skinny. Yeah, as the season goes along and every other player gets banged up, Big Ben is going to become healthier with his new injuries.
Yes, you're right. Okay.
He's able to tolerate pain more than probably any other player in the NFL. Okay, let's table this.
Yeah, let's table it because right now the problem with Big Ben, his body isn't too good of shape. And it's also hard to judge Big Ben because he looks the same.
Yes. Even though he did lose weight.
But he looks the same. He's always been like, he's always had the look, even when he was a rookie, of a 20-year out-of-shape quarterback.
Well, yeah, I think we were saying that last week where it's like when he was bigger, being slow made more sense because he still moves the same way with his slender. I don't think he's picked up any speed.
Right. So, and their offensive line is bad.
Let me just say that. Their offensive line is bad.
They're trying to figure out a new offensive line. But, yeah, let's table this conversation.
The only other thing I had from this game was Najee Harris, if he retires tomorrow, he has done enough in his career with that stiff arm of Jonathan Abram. Because he basically put a highlight.
He manhandled Jonathan Abram, and I was thinking about it.

Najee Harris basically now has, like, in 20 years, someone will tweet,

if Twitter's still around, God help us, I hope it isn't,

someone will tweet, Najee Harris was a real one, and it will just be that.

He could do nothing else in his career, but Najee Harris built different.

Boom.

Najee Harris confirmed real one.

Yeah, confirmed real one.

We knew that when he was driving to Alabama's Pro

Thank you. He could do nothing else in his career but Najee Harris built different.
Boom. Najee Harris confirmed real ones.
Yeah, confirmed real ones. We knew that when he was driving to Alabama's Pro Day just to see his boys practice, right? Real ones remember Najee Harris.
I do remember Najee Harris. He's an awesome player.
I think that today he showed that the Steelers have a playmaker in him. He's going to be good.
He's going to be a very good running back. The stiff arm was incredible.
It was truly built different. Also, I took down this note.
Derek Carr has 817 passing yards through two games. I think Derek Carr might be good now.
I think he's quiet. I think he quietly became a good quarterback.
We've got to wait. Let's wait.
It's similar to Big Ben. I've been hating time the middle ground both of them what is this the eight-year bump for derrick car at this nine i think nine-year bump yeah and we all know derrick car he he's an emotional guy yep he plays better when he doesn't have somebody looking over his shoulder marcus mariota nice guy got injured we hope that he's okay he never root injuries.
That's another man's livelihood we're talking about here. But Derek Carr plays better knowing that the biggest threat to his job is Nathan Peterman.
You were so excited at the thought of Nathan Peterman that you were calling out, you're like, it's Peterman time, it's Peterman time. We all were like, I'm pretty sure that's still Derek Carr out there.
Yeah, I was very much looking for you. You're like, this is awesome.
Peterman backed up. We're like, that's number four.
That's Derek Carr. Nathan Peterman is such a great surprise to get on any Sunday.
When you don't plan for it, it's incredible. It adds a little spark of joy to your day.
I hope he stays in the league forever just for the surprise Nathan Peterman's in the game. I think he's going to stay in the league forever just because John Gruden's contract is forever, and John Gruden just turns the entire preseason into a giant Nathan Peterman exhibition match.
It's true. It's true.
Before we get to the next game... You know that one sandwich you always crave? The one that just hits every single time? For me, it's a simple yet perfect combination.
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Head to your local Boar's Head deli and experience the craftsmanship behind every bite. Quick time check, 1255, no big deal.
We're out here, still up. Do we have any breaks in the Sunday Night Football schedule that we could record earlier? Nope.
All just awesome games. Definitely.
Well, I mean, if all the games continue going like this in primetime. Yeah, it's true.
I can't even take the chance of ignoring one of them. Panthers, Saints.

Oh, you got one for us.

You found one for us.

Week 7, Colts at 49ers?

Maybe.

Yeah, could be Pinky.

Can we say Cowboys Vikings?

Return game.

Cowboys Vikings?

Week 8?

Yeah, maybe. You got to watch the Cowboys in prime time.

You got to watch the Cowboys in prime time.

I have to watch the game.

We got to pin on that.

I have to watch the game to understand Magic Johnson's tweets and context. Yep.
Day after Christmas, Washington at Dallas. Sorry, PFT.
Why would we not watch that game? Washington at Dallas. The Giants ran away with the division.
Well, Fitz will be back by then, so it'll be exciting. Yeah.
All right. Panther Saints.
Are the Panthers good? I don't know. I don't know.
I think that Jameis taught us a lesson today, and that's that LASIK doesn't travel. LASIK's better in the dome.
That was an arm punt. It was as good as a punt.
It ended up only netting like 15 yards, but it was still an arm punt. They should have swatted it down.
Yep. Don't get me started on the Nebraska guy.
Also. I think this entire weekend was just straight up like a giant drum contest.
And the Panthers saw all the shine going to Purdue's drum and Mizzou's giant drum. And they're like, hey, we got our big ass keep pounding drum right here.
No one's talking about that. It was a drum game.
So I was thinking about it. The Panthers are now 2 and oh uh who'd they play week one the jets the jets okay so we can't count really good team

but the jets are gonna beat the patriots in the playoffs so the panthers have sam donald

uh i obviously we have more to go we need a bigger sample size but as of right now

the question of was it sam donald the jets is leaning towards it was the jets right he's looked

I'm sorry. We need a bigger sample size.
But as of right now, the question of was it Sam Donald or the Jets is leaning towards it was the Jets. Right? He's looked pretty good.
Christian McCaffrey is all the way back. He's looked really good.
The Panthers' defense has been very good. And I looked it up.
The Panthers' next six games at the Texans, at the Cowboys, home for the Eagles, Vikings, and then at the Giants and Falcons.

That, we could be sitting here in week eight talking about a six and two Panthers team

and being like, whoa, Panthers.

Like, there's always that one team that comes out of nowhere who gets into the playoffs.

I think the Panthers, I'll put them under Frisky right now, but I got my eye on them

because they might be good.

If the Panthers make the playoffs, Joe Brady is going to get a head coaching job next year.

I'm sorry. I think the Panthers, I'll put them under Frisky right now, but I got my eye on them because they might be good.
If the Panthers make the playoffs, Joe Brady is going to get a head coaching job next year. Immediately.
Immediately. He's going to be the hottest name.
It's going to be like him and Day Bowl. And Matt Rule is like, I mean, for a guy who spit on himself by accident on national television, he's smarter than I thought.
Yeah. I don't know.
Jury's still out, I think, on Matt Rule. He's got a dumb face.

He's got a very dumb face, and the smock doesn't help.

And the Vincent D'Onofrio kind of thing he's got going on.

It's almost like his neck is eating his own shoulders.

He's becoming like all head at this point.

But I just – like the Saints, that was a classic letdown spot

after killing the Packers.

They haven't been home in a month. They're dealing with a lot of injuries.
Jameis, people are going after him. He's making smart decisions.
Sorry his receivers aren't making plays on the ball. But I think the Panthers might be frisky.
But also might be good. Also, I'm kind of throwing this one out the window for the Saints because they had, like, all their coaches out with COVID.
Yeah, right. They've dealt with everything.
So I'm not even... This game doesn't even count, in my opinion, for Jameis' season.
No, no. You know what? If anything, this makes the likelihood that he gets comeback player of the year even higher because he has to come back from the adversity that he faced in week two when he threw those bad interceptions.

But do you think that there's, like when Drew Brees is on Sunday night football tonight

and he's talking about the Saints-Panthers game,

you think he's relieved that Jameis didn't go out there and throw five touchdowns again?

Because at that point it becomes, wow, Drew Brees was really, really holding the team back last year.

Yeah.

I think he's rooting for the Saints to do well, Yeah. But not too well.
Right. I agree with you there.
I think he definitely... If you put Truthsher inside his hair plugs, he would be like, I'd like for them to go 10-6-1.
Right. Get a wild card spot.
Especially because now that he is retired and he's on TV, he gets... you go back when you go directly to tv you can get criticized right away so i think that it would be like oh they were the drew breeze was really holding him back and also who the fuck is he trying to fool with his new hair right right like there's some anger that's simmering with drew breeze you can't show up with the new try to pass it off, and also be the guy that held your team back.
I also like it when guys go straight to TV and they become the biggest unabashed homers ever. It's like Tony Dungy will never pick against the Colts.
Correct. I want Drew Brees to just be like my Saints and to just get really into defending the Saints on national television.
The fact that he hasn't done that, I think it's because he's still feeling like –

he knows that he was not at the peak of his powers towards the end of his career.

By the way, we need to get – who's the guy who's been on a million teams?

Like Jamal Crawford or someone like that into TV just to watch them be like,

my Hawks, my Clippers.

See which team he defends.

Go down the list, yeah.

Like 15 different teams.

Wasn't there a guy recently who got traded?

Lou Will.

Was Lou Will?

Oh, Beverly.

Beverly, I think, has been on like a million teams.

Oh, yeah, he got traded like twice, right?

Yeah.

He got traded to Memphis and then from Memphis to somewhere else.

Yeah.

He's been on like half the teams.

That would be fun.

Spencer Hawes. Spencer Hawes.
Yes. Yes.
I's been on like half the teams. That would be fun.
Spencer Hawes.

Spencer Hawes.

Yes.

Yes.

I'm just throwing it out there.

I got my eyes on the Panthers.

I'm throwing it out there.

I've got my eyes on the Panthers.

I'll be watching what you're doing.

I'll be taking notes.

I'm watching it.

When they're playing on Thursday night.

Thursday night against the Texans.

Mills Mafia.

Mills Mafia.

Watch out.

Yeah.

Now I've really put myself in a predicament because I said I've been on the Texans. But you've got your eyes.
But I've got my eyes on the Panthers. Yeah, you've got your eyes on the Panthers.
But you know what? This could be a letdown game. It could be a letdown game for the Panthers.
Where are the Texans going to let down from? I mean, David Culley just being extra conservative. I hope David Culley punts on second down on Thursday night.
That would be great. I hope he keeps getting better and better.
Yeah, he would have, if David Culley was the coach of Penn State, he wouldn't have complained about having to punt on third down. Yeah, he would have been like, the refs did us a favor.
Yeah, thank you. Appreciate it.
Limited the opportunities we had to make a mistake. Yes.
Got my eyes on the Panthers. That's all I'm going to say.
Alright. Next up, Broncos-Jaguars.
I mean, we have to lead with Urban Meyer releasing a statement. So Broncos win 23-13.
Urban Meyer afterwards released a statement. It is the whole team arm in arm.
And it says, hang in there with us. We're going to get better.
The one thing about Jacksonville and the 9-0-4, go to sleep knowing there's not going to be any group working harder to get this thing flipped and it might not be me because I'm going to take the USC job in a few weeks but the rest of this group they're going to get this thing flipped alright so I think Urban did two great things with his statement number one I think well first of all the fact that he knew what the area code was, it shows that he's a real Duval guy. Shout out.
The first real thing that I thought he did good with this statement was he set himself up very nicely to say, for the good of the team, I will retire from coaching them because I'm not the guy to get the job done here. And I'm taking a look in the mirror, and it's about accountability in this league, starting with myself.
Right. Therefore, holding holding myself accountable i'm resigning this job to go move to southern california yes second thing that i thought he did well he he also acknowledged tim tebow with the general tone yeah of the speech yeah but also the jaguars organization as a whole by putting this statement out they have people scrambling to their computers so quickly to just castellanos meme yes this statement yes that no one's stopping to talk about exactly what went wrong in the game and what a bad job that he's actually doing on the field that's a fantastic point it really kind of it sets itself up very nicely for castellanos it's uh has memes done it yet no i'm sure he has though he's trying he wants to he probably has a burner that's done it.
We've got to get a shot call. Yes, yes.
But it is very, very big-time Tampa Bay Lightning vibes. We know this isn't the result you wanted or asked for, which they then won two in a row.
So maybe that works. I don't know.
The Jags, watch out. It also could have covered up for the Jags tweeting in the first quarter after Trevor Lawrence threw a touchdown pass, Trevor Lawrence is going to be a problem.
They were waiting for that to be able to do that, and then he threw two interceptions. So, like, a problem for who? Yeah, a problem is a very open-ended statement on that one.
Yeah, not sold on Trevor Lawrence, but I'm still saying bust. Right now he's played like a bust.
Trevor Lawrence is a bust. I'd say if you were to re-rank the quarterbacks in the draft right now, I love the redrafts, by the way.
Let's do it. I love the redrafts.
All right, No. 1, Sam Ellinger.
Okay. No.
2, you go No. 2.
Healthy Zach Wilson. Healthy Zach Wilson.
Yes. Okay.
No. 3, I'm number three i'm gonna go with trey lance okay i'm gonna take my guy justin fields f1 and then i guess mac jones okay he's more of a game manager and then trevor lawrence and then trevor lawrence number six redraft what kellen on sorry kevin kellen on number six okay then mac jones then trevor lawrence then i'm just like game manager is a good thing.
Everyone's a game manager. I mean, you couldn't say that Trevor Lawrence is a game manager at this point.
Exactly. You wouldn't take a healthy Zach Wilson? He's not even a facilitator.
Exactly. Dude's battling serious, serious injury.
We don't know him. I think it's his elbows or something.
Both of his elbows? I think he fell and he hit both of his funny bones. No, but if you get hit on a play and then you have to throw the ball the next play, you might have a stinger.
And then that happens three more times. And also, you don't get hit on the plays that you throw the interceptions because, again, it was...
Yeah, no pressure. I mean, no one really talks about the fact that Zach Wilson, his entire body is like that of a 12-year-old.

Yeah.

So it is a good chance that he might get injured.

He's got to lose the headband, by the way, not to go back to Zach Wilson,

but he's got to lose it.

Until he gets good, he's got to lose the headband.

Headbands are for winners in Jimi Hendrix.

Yes.

All right, so Trevor Lawrence, though, he had like –

I don't want to say it was a Josh Rosen stat line

because he probably threw the ball too many times, but he was 14 for 33, 118 yards. Two picks.
Yeah, not great. He stuffed the stat line a little too much for a Josh Rosen stat line.
He had one touchdown and two picks. I'm still under the assumption that the Jaguars are failing Trevor Lawrence,

not Trevor Lawrence is failing the Jaguars.

I think it's both.

Okay.

I don't think, yeah.

They deserve each other.

They deserve each other.

But credit to Teddy Bridgewater, too.

Yes.

Spread machine.

Dude, I mean, the Broncos are good.

What?

What are you laughing at?

The tweet I just sent you guys.

What is it?

It's about this game.

It's the Jaguars' Twitter account tweeted out the handshake of Trevor Lawrence and Teddy Bridgewater in the background. It looks like the Jags mascot is just jumping off.
Oh, yeah. What's his name? Jackson DeVille.
Jackson DeVille. One of the greatest mascots.
Holy shit. He's like, I'm out of here.
That's amazing. It looks like he's going full suicide right now.
That's amazing. He's taking a header off the upper deck.
No, the Broncos are also... I would put the Broncos in my Panthers category.
Start a file for me. Frisky teams I got my eyes on that I might elevate to good.
No, I would like to officially elevate the Denver Broncos to good at this point. I think they're good.
I thought that the Jaguars were going to win this game outright, but the Broncos look really good on the road. And they're also going to be 3-0 because they play the Jets next week.
And we haven't even dipped into Denver October yet. Yep.
What's Denver October? It's just tough to play in Denver in the month of October. It's September.
And October. September is the real one.
October as well, right? We used to call it Proctober. No, I think it's just september but we can call we can extend

it if you'd like to yeah spooky season yeah it's it's it's a combo of the altitude and the heat in september um they play the ravens week four that will be a big first test for they have a next week against the jets and then they play the ravens uh in denver so there we go what uh all right. Next up Cardinals Vikings.
This game was fucking awesome. Back and forth.
Crazy plays. Kyler Murray's insane.
He had a couple of bad throws. We'll throw that out there, but he was making insane plays, including the, uh, when the Vikings went like all out blitz on him at fourth and five, and he threw that ball to basically win the game.
Obviously, the Vikings missed a kick. Kirk Cousins, the Kirk Cousins defenders almost had their day, but they didn't.
But Dalvin Cook was insane for the Vikings. Yeah, Kirk Cousins had a very good first half.
But also, this game was filled with the college defense-type lapses where the secondary just forgot to cover a guy on both sides. It was chaos.
Yeah, it was chaos. There was always a guy that was just running free with 15 yards of grass around him.
And to Kirk's credit, he hit his receivers when he had to in the first half. But it almost felt like watching those first two quarters of craziness that the game was going to grind to a halt in the second half.
And it kind of did. And stop me if you heard this before, but the Minnesota Vikings kicking game blew another easy chip shot for a win.
It's just something about that position in Minnesota. They're just never going to get it right.
And what's the craziest part is it's so cruel that last week he hit a big kick to go to overtime.

And then this week, to win a game, he can't hit it.

Whoever it is.

I just assume it's Blair Walsh, though.

Oh, fun stat about Kyler Murray.

A little Sabermetrics.

Yeah.

He's never seen Star Wars.

Oh, same with me.

I like him a little bit more.

I think I've seen most of, what is it, episode one, The Empire Strikes Back. I've never seen any of them.
Yeah, I've seen the original one. Hank shaking his head.
At least like two-thirds of it. But they were asking him, are you doing the Baby Yoda celebration after the touchdown? He's like, I have no idea what Baby Yoda is.
That tells me also that he's not on Twitter, which is, I mean, I know he's got the K1 account. Yeah.
But he doesn't spend any time on the website or the app because he would have seen the Baby Yoda memes. Well, and he's also like, he looks like Baby Yoda.
People make that because he's so small. Yeah.
I think people have actually done that. Baby Yoda.
Height update. That's what Chandler Jones calls him.
Oh. Baby Yoda.
Okay. He looked taller in week one.
No. He looked shorter in week two.
Looked really short. In the Reds.
Yeah. He was awesome.
It's so much fun to watch him play. And, yeah, I mean, the Vikings should have won this game.
I really do think that because they were just running all over the Cardinals. They obviously were in a place to win that game.
It was also a very pro-Vikings crowd down in Arizona. Yes.
And that's because that where all the old people from minnesota go to retire correct they don't move to florida they move to arizona goes to arizona yeah yes yes i think there was like a false start in the first half there was that was caused by the minnesota vikings fans and rondell moore shout out purdue that's my nice thing about purdue boiler up i love rondell moore he's awesome but when he gets the ball in the open field sometimes i I think it's Kyler Murray running with the ball. Yeah, they do kind of have a similar look to him.
And yeah, I just re-watched that touchdown he had. There was no one even close to him.
And then J.J. Watt, like, tweeting about, like, the AFC Richmond shirt and being like, just like Ted Lasso says, you got to believe.
That's just J.J. Watt.
I expected that. Just J.J.
being J.J. I like Ted Lasso, but I expected that.
Yeah, it's a great TV show, but some people, as I can say, liking Ted Lasso is not a personality trait. And that's not what J.J.
was doing, but I just know that J.J. Watt being a huge Ted Lasso fan is the least shocking news of all time.
And I mean that in a nice way. I actually do think that liking Ted Lasso should count as a personality trait.
At least half. Yeah, like most people's personalities are based around shows that they like.
Yeah, right. And that's okay.
People can say they read books as part of their personality. Why can't I say I half watch TV shows while I scroll Twitter? Did you see J.J.
apologizing to Dalvin Cook after he injured him? Oh, he did. So J.J.
took out Dalvin Cook's knee and then approached Dalvin Cook and took a knee and talked to him. I was like, hey, man, listen, all respect.
We're going to get up stronger. Knock me down eight times.
Get up nine. And J.J.
was honestly trying to fix the mistake that he made yes yes because i mean i'm being serious now i know it's hard sometimes when we talk about him but he is not a dirty player no so that would i i wouldn't be uh shocked if he felt very bad about a play not going you know getting someone hurt or he was mic'd up or he was mic'd up hank that was you saying that not us uh but yes he could have been mic'd up remember Or he was mic'd up, Hank. That was you saying that, not us.
But yes, he could have been mic'd up. Remember when he told Ray Rice, like, I've eaten bigger burritos than you.
That was just a coincidence. He didn't know he was mic'd up for that one.
He was like, that's a major Bryson DeChambeau. Like, I've got some one-liners ready to go because the microphone is going to be us.
All right, Falcons, Bucs. What happened to Arthur Smith's chin? Oh, I didn't see.
No, he has none. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's Thickless Cage.
No, I know, I know, I know. But it's shocking every time I see it.
I did go back and look. I searched Arthur Smith's chin to see if there was some kind of issue that I didn't know about, and just the first two results were me and you talking about his no chin like seven months ago.
But he's the opposite of Bill Cower. I don't know if you can win football games with no chin.
I'm pulling it up right now. It also has to do with the fact that he keeps his mouth open a lot.
So sometimes the bottom of the chin disappears into the neck, especially if you're lugging around a couple extra pounds. Can you get chin implants? You can probably get a chin implant.
I just know that if I were a player, I would be looking at him. He'd try to coach me up.
I'd be like, dude, you got no chin. It's very tough to judge whether or not Arthur Smith is a good coach right now.
He's got no chin. He's got to grow a beard.
You got it. You got it.
Yes, there we go. Good point, Hank.
You don't know from anything besides just helping a guy out. No, Hank is just he knows what makes a guy pop.
I totally forgot you're sitting right here. We should have mentioned when we started saying no chin.
So how do you live? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just talking about this guy's situation.
Do you you have trouble eating i have trouble dipping but not that you know nothing has anything to do with anything do you ever like think that you're gonna choke yourself to death no with your chin nope or lack thereof i don't know what you're talking about have you ever tried to like go you know those uh those machines that are you like lay upside down to to stretch out your back? You ever tried to do that to stretch out your chin? Maybe see if it will fall back into place? I would be lying if I said I haven't looked up the chin implant thing. And they exist.
They do. It's like five grand.
We should do it. I mean, that'd be worth it for Arthur Smith.
Yeah, for Arthur Smith. Do you ever actually bite the top of your chin with your upper teeth? No.
Do you ever get worried that it's melting and it's just going to keep going down, like falling down your chest? No. Okay, I think that's all of our chin questions.
But yeah, he should get a chin. At least he doesn't have a Bill O'Brien chin.
Which would you rather have? I would rather have a Bill O'Brien chin.

A chin with a hole in it?

Yeah.

Dude, I hope he can grow a beard because Hank's right.

And again, not speaking from experience, Hank is right.

He needs to grow a beard.

He has no chin.

You know what he needs?

He just needs to do the Dan Quinn, just like Fu Manchu thing.

Or even just like a really thin line.

It's like, here's where a chin should be.

What if he just grew a chin strap beard? That would be great. Okay, here's what he should do.
He should grow the chin strap beard and then always have AirPods in his ears. Yes.
And then he'd walk around. His team would respect him.
My problem is I think Rusillo and Chris Long came up with this coordinator face. Arthur Smith has coordinator face.
When you look at him, he should be up, up in the booth with, you know, a Diet Coke and a shitload of dip in his mouth. He shouldn't like when I see him on the sideline and something bad happens.
I'm like, oh, God, this guy, he doesn't know what he's i think the problem with arthur smith is he just he doesn't have a thing about him like he's thingless if you look at his face yeah even his name yeah like at least matt patricia put a pencil in his ear right and was like a little husky and had a giant beard and wore his hat backwards tom's really stunk yeah tom sullis farted in press conferences tom sullis, he's overflowing with things. He's got things for days.
Arthur Smith, the only thing that you can say about Arthur Smith is, yeah, he looks like the son of the guy that owns FedEx. Right.
And he's got no chin. And no chin.
Right. But yeah, it's impossible to tell if he's a good coach or not.
All right, well, we won't be mean to him. If you gave Emeril Lagazi a box of graham crackers and a can of chunky soup, and he said, cook me a dinner, you couldn't tell if he was a good chef or not.
Very good point. So right now, with what he's got on the Falcons, I think the jury's still out, but he needs something to tide us over until they get some players that we can evaluate so I can know who Arthur Smith is if I run into him on a street.
Right. Now, as far as Matt Ryan goes, he makes me sadder than Ben Roethlisberger.
Oh, yeah. He's sad.
It's sad. It's very sad.
Watching him trying to throw like a 40-yard pass today. Yeah, no, I said it last week.
I'm sad. I'm sad for him.
By like seven yards. Yeah.
It's a sad situation.

And guess what?

The Falcons were actually competitive in this game. And then we had the back-to-back pick sixes that I didn't realize.

Because when you're sitting there watching all of NFL Sunday and there's a million TVs and a million things,

I thought it was a replay.

He's the same guy.

Mike Edwards had back-to-back pick sixes like three minutes apart.

The Falcons were in that game. Well, not in that game, but they were down 10.
They were covering. And then those two pick sixes happened, and it was lights out.
So I give them credit for hanging around a little bit against a Bucs team that we all think is – I mean, they are Super Bowl favorites. Gronk somehow is young Gronk again.
I don't understand how that happened. Gronk is officially back today.
Yeah, officially back. And yeah, I think the Bucs are going to just cruise through the regular season.
From all the Valor he's stolen. Yeah, that's true.
Billy gets visibly upset when Gronk's commercial comes on. I want to give credit to Mike Evans.
Our co-worker Stephen Shea pointed this out, but I think that we need to use our platform to amplify what a good thing Mike Evans did today. Yes, please.
He scored a touchdown, and he handed the ball to a grown man in the stands. To an adult.
So Cam Newton, you know, he makes it all about, oh, look at me. I'm Cam Newton.
I'm doing all this cool stuff. I'm going to score a touchdown, and I'm going to hand the ball to a kid who looks up to me because I'm being a role model for him, just being selfish because he knows the camera's on him.
Mike Evans, on the other hand, he does not discriminate between handing the ball to a kid who looks up to me because I'm being a role model for him, just being selfish because he knows the cameras on him. Mike Evans, on the other hand, he does not discriminate between handing the ball to a child or an adult male autograph collector.
Right. So congratulations to Mike Evans.
Thank you for your service. Adult male memorabilia collectors are people too.
Yeah. So Stephen, he's been on the show.
You've heard him on the show. Stephen tweeted, I love that Mike Evans will give the ball to kids and adults alike.
I'd probably melt if he ever throw me a TD ball. But Stephen is, he's Mack with Chase Utley in Always Sunny.
Yeah. Like, he just wants a catch with Mike Evans.
That's all he wants. Stephen Che is every guy in the background of a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial.
Yes, yes. Sincerely.
I mean that in a good way. Yeah.
I think Steven is a good guy. Very nice guy.
Very nice guy. And I actually do think that he would melt if Mike Evans tossed him a ball.
Probably melt if he ever threw me a TV ball. I think he would crumble into a little pile.
Oh, Mike, Mike, Mike! I'm your biggest fan. He brings his own son to the game.
He's a father of two. Steven, let's say he's now with his kids, but he's at a game.
He catches a ball from Mike Evans, and there's a bunch of little kids. No chance.
One row behind him. Uh-uh.
Suck it, losers. No.
Yeah. No, Steven got it.
I think Steven brings his own football to a game, so he would turn around and hand his football to the kids and hang on to Mike Evans. And let's be honest.
Stephen would catch the ball better than anyone else because he'd have his receiver's gloves on. So he'd be good.
Also, I mean, are any of these kids out there running a 4.740? I don't think so. We really need Mike.
No, 4.7. I thought that's what he just clocked in at.
Like now. Now he runs a 4.7.
In his peak, he was a 4'4". He's a 4'4", yeah.
He had speed, NFL speed. Top level.
Top level, NFL speed. That was with pads on, too.
Yeah, when he was 21 years old. No big deal.
But yeah, credit to Mike Evans. Thank you, sir.
Bill's looking at me. What the fuck? Alright, yeah, so we need to get Steven a game ball.
I will not rest until that happens. All right.
Wrapping up, we've got two more games. Cowboys Chargers, this game was painful, painful to watch.
I actually tweeted out during it, and I really stand by it. If you told me what hell is, if you said, hey, you're going to hell, it would be that I have to bet this over and watch this game on loop because it felt like there were a million touchdowns called back.
There were only two for the Chargers. There were 20 penalties.
It was sloppy. Every drive, like both teams could operate their offense and then nothing would happen out of it.
Yeah, it was like if you're playing basketball against your older brother, and you're beating him for the first time ever, and he keeps calling made-up fouls in the game to not let you win. That's what was happening to both teams' offenses.
Every time anything good would happen, the flag bug would pop up at the bottom, and we'd have to redo the entire shitty play all over again. The Chargers had one ball.
I think they caught it at the two-yard line. They were getting ready to score a touchdown towards the end of the game.
And we knew the second they got the ball at the two-yard line. You said it before.
I was like, well, there's going to be a holding, then an offensive pass interference, then a delay of game, and they're going to get backed up, and if they're lucky, they'll make a field goal. Turns out I was wrong.
They called illegal shift instead of the holding and then they got backed up. Then Justin Herbert got called, well they called a sack on Justin Herbert when he was stiff arming a guy.
The refs very astutely did not let Justin Herbert get sacked and then have somebody taunt him after the sack. So they just blew the play dead and then they backed him up to like the 30 yard line.
They ended up making the field goal. And then Mike McCarthy, despite his best efforts, his most valiant, cool clock Mike McCarthy, wanted to bring it to the White House efforts, did not fuck himself over in the end like he tried to by not calling that timeout.
And instead sent, what, Greg Zerline out there for a 56-yarder? 56-yarder. 56-yarder.
Mike McCarthy afterwards was asked. He said, the clock I was watching went off the board.
So I don't fully understand that because there are multiple clocks in an NFL stadium, especially one that's brand new. So I think maybe for future opponents of the Dallas Cowboys, if you can just figure out which clock Mike McCarthy's looking at all game, and then at a key moment, shut it off, he won't be able to find another clock.
In a stadium full of clocks, he won't be able to find another. Maybe he just watched the end of the Alabama-Florida game, and he was like, that's what's happening right now.
Yeah, we're getting screwed. We're getting screwed right now.
So he just stares at it, waiting for it to back on. And then he gave like a further explanation of it too, where he was saying that like he had – he just basically tossed out a lot of words about the situation they had planned.
And it's like, well, if there's between 17 and 12 seconds left, here's what you do in that situation. If there's between 12 and 9 seconds left, here's what we're doing with our personnel groups.
But at the end of the day, it's like, just call a timeout. Yeah, just call a timeout.
It's very, you're overthinking it. You have one.
Call a timeout. You can call one.
But they ended up winning the game. Don't know if the Cowboys are good yet.
I do know that Pollard is good. I was going to say, I wrote that down.
Pollard is way better than Ezekiel Elliott. Yeah, who's backfield? So that's the other game.
Who's backfield? That's the other game that I had in my, this guy's got young legs game. Yeah.
Pollard's got young legs. Ezekiel Elliott lost all that weight.
Looks slower than he did before. Yep.
I literally wrote down, is it Tony Pollard's backfield? I think it is. Whose man's? He had 13 rushes for 109 yards.
Zeke had 16 rushes for 71 yards. That's math.
Also, I'm happy for Dan Quinn. Cool guy Dan Quinn with his backwards backwards hat which is so funny that he's like i'm gonna rock this backwards all the time defense played well it's a rebrand for dan quinn and justin herbert like that was a sloppy sloppy game for the chargers they should have wanted a million different ways he still is up there he actually i'll put him in the list of patrick mahomes j Allen, Aaron Rogers, and Justin Herbert of guys who can throw across their body across the field and be like, you know what, that was a good throw.
Because his arm is fucking crazy. I do want to give credit to Mike McCarthy for doing something cool.
At the end of the first half, he tried the downfield lateral play as time was expiring. Most coaches just take a knee because they're afraid of a costly turnover and having somebody run it back for six.
Mike McCarthy was like, we're going to run the rugby play. Almost worked.
I think they got down to the two-yard line. So I don't know which one of your analytics guys told you to do that, Mike, but they're doing a good job.
Great job. Continue to listen to that guy.
Get a new clock guy. Last up, we got Titans Seahawks, Derrick Henry.
Derrick Henry. This was a Derrick Henry game.
He had 35 yards in the first half, 13 carries for 35 yards in the first half. Second half, he had 22 carries, 147 yards, three touchdowns.
He just fucking rolled through the Seahawks in the second half. He got way stronger as the game went on, and they started getting him the ball in space a little bit more.
But even on a couple short-yarded situations, he looked good in the second half. Because there's definitely something to that where over the course of a long game like that, I would be tired of hitting Derrick Henry too.
I get tired doing a podcast for an hour and a half. I'm exhausted right now.
So we watched football for, what, 12 hours today? Such a long day. I'm exhausted by that.
I am very tired. I can't imagine.
It's probably almost as exhausting trying to tackle Derek Henry. Yes.
Yeah, no, we're one and the same. Also, this is just such a Seahawks game to have, like, essentially have it won and then have chaos happen and almost win it again and then almost get a walk-off safety against you.
But, yeah, I don't know. Seahawks still have, like, their issues.
Yeah. I don't really know what else to say.
Big issue they have is they don't have Fat Randy. Yeah, Fat Randy is back.
Fat Randy came out there looking good. Hell, yes.
Looking nice and thick. Fat Randy looking like probably stopped by Pike Place Market, caught a few fish in his mouth before the game.
Yep. He looked good.
He was wearing, like, seven undershirts when he went out there trying to really disguise it, but you can't fool us, Fat Randy. This game had everything, though.
It had the Tyler Lockett, like, holy shit, how is he that open? Bomb, touchdown, moon ball. Derrick Henry doing Derrick Henry shit, and then Fat Randy.
Where do we stand on Ryan Tannehill this season? uh i'm whatever i am of the mindset that i think arthur smith had a very big part in making ryan tannahill okay into ryan endless wonder yeah i think they're i think it's tough to recreate that momentum they had going it's gonna be so awkward when we get arthur smith on the podcast in like a year i don't know how we're gonna do that one... We'll figure it out.
Yeah. We've done weirder ones.
We should draw a beard on him. Yeah.
Just give him a... Yeah, we should actually have him do it, do the entire interview like Wilson from Home Improvement.
There you go. Yeah.
Just stand behind a fence. Yeah.
That's what he should do. I mean, yeah.
Just saw a fence on on the Falcons' sideline. He has very normal eyes and a perfectly average forehead.

Yeah, the forehead is beautiful.

I would go as far as to say beautiful.

Beautiful forehead.

It's a good forehead.

Yes, great forehead.

All right, those are all the games.

Let's do Football Guy of the Week, and then let's do Who's Back of the Week,

and we'll send everyone on their way.

Reminder, we're going to talk college football on Wednesday.

That's what we're going to do this fall because we have so much stuff that we have to talk about on Sundays. So we will talk college football on Wednesday.
We're going to get right back to the show. Ryan Seacrest here.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, football guy of the week because football guys, strong, tough, Chevy Silverado, boom.
Our first football guy of the week nominee is a Arizona high school football coach from Prescott named Cody Collette, who found out that he had a heart attack after getting ejected from a high school football game. So during the game, he started feeling chest pains, then saw a penalty that he did not agree with, went out on the field, started arguing with the ref, got ejected.
Then when he was going home, he realized that something was wrong with his heart, went to the hospital. Turns out he was having a heart attack during the game while he got the penalty.
Damn. Dicko.
Yeah. Dicko-esque.
Had a heart attack on the field, coached through it, and promptly got kicked out. This next one, Football Guy of the Week nominee, is a high school kid who is part of a really interesting high school game.
I like this. It's not just becoming high school school football guys.
Well, no, no. There's other stuff.
He's from another story that will come to you. But he puked on the ball before throwing a game-winning touchdown.
Like while the ball was in play. So the ball was in play.
He got the snap. He brought it up.
Where did you see this? It's on SportsCenter. It's on Reddit.
It was on SportsCenter? Yeah, he pukes on the ball, then throws it. You saw it on SportsCenter? Yeah, there's a video if you want to see it.
I would love to, yeah. Yeah, pull it up.
Okay, I'll pull up the video. I don't have internet on my computer right now.
Obviously. Why would he have internet on his computer?

His computer has no internet. You know what would be awesome is if Billy was just making up this story.

I mean, I ask that because

listen, I think you're doing a great job, Billy,

but there's a 50-50 chance

someone DMs you,

and then you're like, oh, sick, thanks.

No, it's from the story of the comeback that I was

going to make my who's back of the week.

Oh, here we go.

Let's go, Billy.

The kid pukes on the ball, then throws it to the other guy for the game-winning touchdown.

It's hilarious because... Oh, yeah.

That's gross.

Billy, hand up.

You were right.

I was wrong.

That's a great football guy.

Yeah.

The other guy who caught it probably had no idea there was puke all over the ball.

Doesn't matter.

They won the game, right?

That's pretty awesome.

And the last football guy of the week is...

Okay. Three.
is... Okay.

Three.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, no. Yeah.
The third football guy

of the week is Portland State coach Bruce

Barnum, who offered to buy

all fans beer if they attended

their Saturday's game. Okay.

Did he follow through on that? Nice.

I'm not sure. I found that on Friday.

Okay.

But I think he did. No, there was a running tab at the game, and he got it.
Okay. I assume.
And then the last football guy of the week nominee is a Steelers fan who pooped his pants at the game, went to the bathroom, washed his pants in the sink, put the pants back on, got back out there to be a fan of the game. Big time.
I love it. Yeah, I like that.
Did you see – We've destigmatized shitting your pants completely. One extra one.
Did you see that guy, the offensive lineman? I think it was maybe Sacramento State, Arizona – no, Arizona something. Central Arizona, Central Arkansas, somewhere.
It was an offensive lineman, and he caught the kickoff, and he just started. Oh, it was like Central Missouri or something.
He started just basically, there was like five guys trying to tackle him. He was just fist fighting everyone down.
It was awesome. It was an incredible highlight.
Yeah, I saw that. Yeah.
That was a big dude. Yes.
He was like, this is my time to shine. I can legally just punch everyone in the face.
It looked like a movie character who's just in the middle of battle getting attacked by all – by far the strongest guy in an army getting attacked by like 20 opposing forces and just taking out as many as he can. I just love whenever an offensive lineman gets the ball because they just – something comes over them like, this is – i've been no one has paid attention to me and now everyone all eyes on me the old marshall newhouse yes yes yes that's the best clip of all the marshall newhouse that's good but also was it dan conley the guy on the patriots that returned that one kickoff and he almost took it to the house i will forever be pissed off off at John Kuhn for making the tackle on that play.
John, you should have let him score. Should have let him score.
Billy, good job. Love those football guys of the week, so make sure you vote football guys of the week.
All right, let's wrap up. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. Hank, who's back of the week? I have a couple.
My first who's back of the week is our guy, Max Homa. Yeah.
Let's go, Max. Let's clap it up.
Clap it up, Max. Clap it up.
Today he won the Fortnite Open. Which is a real tournament.
I don't like the people who said it wasn't. And he's now winning the FedEx Cup, which I think is like a $30 million prize pool.
He's in first place. He's in first place right now.
Not a big deal. If the season ended today in golf, he would win $30 million? $15 million.
$15. Ish.
So, Max, open invite to come on part of my take. He's coming on this week.
I was talking to him after we won. He's coming on.
He's in. We'll pay you the $50 customary fee that we pay to all of our guests.
Correct. Every guest.
Neither who's back, and we can save it if PFT was going to talk about it, but Rutgers football's back. Oh, yeah.
Rut Rutgers football is officially back back. Me and PFT were at, we had like a work thing at Rutgers at the tailgate and then PFT was talking to someone behind the scenes obviously I've been in some very like random situations where I'm like how the fuck did I get in this situation but basically me and PFT were at, there was like a Barstool Bites food truck thing that we were working at doing this little shoot for and then pft's like you want to come possibly meet shiano i was like sure within five minutes we walked through a crowd got brought up on stage in front of like the entire pep rally as the team was walking on and pft was giving a speech and i was just sitting there like what yeah what is going on i love it i got i got a little bit set up on the stage thing because i was told hey you want to get up on stage and and do the are you chant i was like sure yeah that sounds awesome what's the are you chant they're like well you say are then the crowd says you i was like okay i think i i can pull that off yep so i get on stage and then the ruckers alumni are on stage and the RU chant.
Love it. And then the microphone comes to me and I'm like well that was my bit.
They just stole my bit. And so then I just gave a speech about like James Gandolfini it was his birthday RIP.
Talk about your favorite moments like when a missed field goal or a home run by the other team happens and the crowd goes silent. That was PFT at the pep rally being like let let's talk about how James Danelfini would have been 60 today.
Everyone was like, oh, damn. I said, we're scoring 60 in honor of Big J.
Love it. And then, yeah, then Greg Sciano, they let him.
It was kind of surreal because there was like a parade going into the stadium, and they were just making a beeline to the field, and then they pulled Greg over to me to shake my hand. Love it.
He went in. He's a big hand on the shoulder guy.
Yep. So I reciprocated.
He leaned in. Usually goes through your knees.
Yep. Usually said some nice things to me.
I don't know if I can. I think I'll keep that between Greg and I was a moment that we shared.
Love it. He said, suck my dick.
I said, we don't say that anymore. And then he continued on down to the field.
And he's never listened to this show. Never listened to this show.
He's got guys that cut up the clips and sent it to him. But anyways, I felt like I'm never going to wash his hands.
Yeah. Basically.
Big school. Unless it has Mercer on it.
Big football school. And they won.
Yeah, they're 3-0. 3-0 against the spread.
They got a big test against Michigan this week. Birthplace of college football.
Yep, that's a fact. Didn't know that until PFT's speech.
That's a fact. I exhausted all of my Rutgers knowledge in about

30 seconds on that stage. Did you talk

about... We were also wearing blue shirts, which was

like... Just the whole situation

was preposterous. Did you talk about their most famous

alum? Joe Flacco? Jackie April Jr.?

Oh, no, I didn't talk about that.

That's still a sore... It's a sore

subject because I already brought up James

Gandolfini and...

I mean, he was selling ecstasy

and they told him not to.

It's really on him. It's fact.
No, you're an alumni even if you drop out, and then you stick up a card game, a low-level poker game, and your friend gets shot, and then you get shot. That still counts as an alum.
My who's back in the week is Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks is back.
We didn't get a chance to talk about this on Friday's show after we were doing the Dave & Buster stream, but the NFL had a major announcement set up for halftime of the Washington football team, New York football Giants game, and everybody was like, they're announcing that Hard Knocks is no longer. That's what we were all hoping for.
And no, all hoping for and no no no no no Roger Goodell is like we've heard what you guys want loud and clear and that's hard knocks with maybe the most boring team in the NFL that will last through the entire season I just did him a favor you may they could throw the pinky pinky bet somewhere in there that's really all that they have going for them right now. They've got Jim Irsay's roof tweets and then Big Cat potentially amputating his pinky.
They should have given us Jameis. God damn it.
I don't know who wanted this hard knocks. No one.
But I'm saying, let us watch Jameis doing fun shit. This is classic Roger Goodell.
Oh, so bad. They should just do hard knocks for every team and then throw out the tapes for any team that doesn't make the playoffs.
And then just show the hard knocks leading up to the playoffs. They should do hard knocks during the week on like a Thursday night and tape it and have it be an actual game and then broadcast it live.
Love it. That's a good idea.
That's a really would that probably no that would never work i don't think so but no get this they're wearing slightly different colored uniforms oh now i'm in okay now i'm definitely in um all right my who's back is uh soccer in america soccer in america is officially back um our good friend Roger Cup? No, not actual soccer being played. But our good friend, Roger Bennett, who we love, who's a recurring guest, had a tweet about Jason Sudeikis, who won a Emmy? Emmy? So Jason Sudeikis wins Emmy for lead actor in a comedy series.
Hard to exaggerate what Ted Lasso has done for profile of men's football in the United States. Our women have won World Cup after World Cup, but few American men have done more for the game than Jason and his team.
It turns out it wasn't that hard to exaggerate. Yeah, no, you did.
You did it. You did it right there.
Yeah. You exaggerated the whole thing.
I love you, Roger. Yeah, I do too.
I love Roger, seriously. but that's, it also is like such a sick burn on American soccer to be like,

did it right there yeah you exaggerate the whole thing i do too i love roger seriously but that's it also is like such a sick burn on american soccer to be like yeah this made up tv show yeah the team is so bad they needed a commercial to turn into a tv show to get anyone to give a fuck well a commercial about a british soccer coach has done more than i also i think he's forgetting one John Harkes.

And Freddie Adu. commercial about a british soccer coach has done more than i also i think he's forgetting one john harks and freddy adieu and freddy adieu and freddy adieu like freddy adieu would like a word freddy adieu tony miola yes marcelo jones alexi lawless fucking no fuck he's a piece of shit um who's the guy who's fucking wife cheated on that's that's john harks and and Eric Ginaldo Taylor Twelman with What Are We Doing? I would say that video clip has probably done more than What Are We Doing? Clint Dempsey Clint Dempsey and Clint Mathis Clint Mathis What's the guy's name? Brad Friedel, Keller.
The fucking coach's son that just keeps getting to play on the team. Oh, Bradley.

Michael Bradley.

Who name searches himself?

Really?

Yeah.

I would say you're going to start tweeting mean Michael Bradley tweets like every other day and see if he'll ever block you.

Don't tag him, though.

Just see.

Okay?

Who is that?

He's a guy who gets to play on the U.S. team because his dad was a coach.

Oh, Ricardo Pepe.

Yeah.

El Tren.

Our new guy, Pulisic.

I would say he's the new Pulisic.

So yeah, there's a lot of guys who've done a lot for soccer, okay, but yes.

Also Ted Lasso.

Ted Lasso has done something for soccer.

I mean, J.J. Watt is wearing the shirt.

Has J.J. Watt done more for American soccer than any other player? Good question.
Any other athlete? Very good question. Jake, who's back? I got two quick ones.
First is Gus Johnson back in the NFL booth. First game since 2010 with Aqib Talib, who had a lot of swag in the booth today.
Saw that. Yeah.
I'm sorry. I'm just not.
I know. Whose chain? Is that Michael Crabtree's chain? That would be so sick if it was.
Yeah, it would. If you said Michael on it.
Yeah. So that was pretty cool.
I'm sorry. I'm just not.
I know. Whose chain? Is that Michael Crabtree's chain?

That would be so sick if it was.

I don't know.

Yeah, it would.

Did you sit Michael on it?

Yeah.

I know.

I know you're standing on it.

I'm going to stay with it.

I don't.

Gus Johnson football does not work for me.

He does have some iconic touchdown calls.

Stokely, Mike Thomas.

Sure.

Also, shout out to Tony Romo.

Very unprofessional at the end of the game. Forcing Jim Nance to make a prediction.
Disgusting. Disgusting act.
There's a reason Kirk doesn't do it on game day. Jim Nance was so uncomfortable.
He's like, I don't know. He's like, that's not a prediction.
Well, it's because Tony had been throwing up on him throughout the fourth quarter. Did you hear that noise? Oh, yeah.
I clipped it. And then then second, quickly who's back is Kawhi Leonard going viral in the offseason.
So the Clippers had their groundbreaking event for their new arena and there was just a concert celebrating and then Kawhi and Paul George just sitting there. So funny.
Kawhi Leonard, he always looks like he's at a dance recital for his stepson. Yes.
Does not give a shit. Yes.
Not even stepson. His girlfriend's son.
Yeah. So not officially stepson.
Yeah, his girlfriend's son while Monday Night Football is on. Yeah, and they've only been dating for like a month.
So doesn't really like the kid. No offense.
The kid's also a piece of shit. Yeah, he's a total piece of shit.
Alright. Billy, wrap us up.
Send us hope. My who's back is high school football.
There is an insane... Getting a lot of play on part of my take these days.
He puked on a ball. That was actually my first who's back ever in 2017.
High football? It was high school football. Yeah, I remember that.
No. You've come a long way.
No, but we just got to talk about this insane game. Basically, there was a huge.
Wait, you're serious? Yeah. Okay, all right.
Sorry. It was a huge.
That was an awesome. I thought that was a great joke.
Shut up. My friend Drew on the call.
Yeah, it's real. Yeah, so there was this game.
It was on ESPN between Hamilton. Oh, I I saw this Yeah, Hamilton, Bauerhouse, Bishop Gorman Bishop Gorman, Tate Martell's high school Tate Martell sucks, dude He's starting for University of Las Vegas Tate Martell's so bad I know, but that's where you might know the school But how bad At what point is it not his high school anymore? I don't know.
It's the only place you know Bishop Gorman. IMG gets all the play nowadays.
Anyway, so it was 24-7 with like 70 seconds left in the fourth quarter. And they hit a field goal.
Onside kick. Get the onside kick.
Score a touchdown. get the onside kick, score a touchdown.

Huge upset of number seven ranked Bishop Gorman. It was better than any Friday Night Lights script you could ever write.
It was sick. It was very sick.
Honestly, bad coaching for the hands team. I mean, this could only happen in a high school football because literally— Maction.
Maction could have this happen. You never have players who are so still invested and have that hope that they could actually win the whole game down 24-7 with a minute left.
So maybe nostalgic? Yeah, I mean, a little. No, but yeah, the kid puked on the ball and threw the game-winning touchdown.
Okay, yeah. Like, imagine...
You carried the lead on that. Gen Z just has an anxiety problem.
They're just puking on the ball. Love it.
I like it. Love it.
Billy, you're the best. All right.
That's our show. Long show.
Oh. What? Oh, yeah.
Give us any recap. Anything we missed? Manny Pacquiao's run for president of the Philippines.
Oh, okay. What's his platform? I think boxing.
Boxing. Everyone has to play basketball.
Jackson Mahomes was dumping water on Ravens fans after the game, causing a scene. What? For the TikTok? Yeah, not for the TikTok.
For Vine? No, he. For the great Vine.
No, he was just throwing water on a random fan.

And, yeah, and I still think Sam Allinger is coming back strong.

He's going to come on the Colts hard knocks.

Yes.

There you go.

That's another good thing about the Colts.

There we go.

Actually, I'm starting to look forward to this.

What day of the week are they going to run it on? It can't be winter.

Again, like we said, Wednesday is our night that we don't have to pay attention to.

They'll probably run it on like Saturday night and try to just take away college football fans.

Yeah.

All right.

Numbers.

Oh, you got an animal fact.

Yeah.

Eight.

Bears are closer to seals than dogs in relation.

Ninety.

Okay.

Ninety-seven.

Eighteen.

Cam?

Eleven. Forty.
in relation. 90.
Okay. 67.
18. Cam? 11.
40. 40 is the number.
40 is the number. We scored Gami's day, right, Jake? We had a halftime at Gami's day.
Halftime. Yeah.
All right, we'll see everyone on Wednesday. We'll talk some college football, man.
Love you guys. Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me I love on me I love you, take on me I love you, take on me It is Ryan Seacrest here.
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