Football Is Back, Fastest 2 Minutes + Recapping Every Week 1 NFL Game

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On today's Pardon My Take, football is back. Week one, full recap.
We're doing every single game. We're going to talk about everything.
We've got fastest two minutes to start. We got a little football guy of the week has returned.
Billy's going to have that for us. We have a little college football, a little who's back of the week, an awesome, awesome show for you.
Football is back. Get excited.
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Okay, let's go. Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And then there's lots of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue it's part of my take presented by barstool sports welcome to part of my take presented by dave and b, the greatest place in the world to watch football this fall.

Check it out at D&B's.

Today is Monday, September 13th, week one.

We start in western New York where the Bills and Steelers clash in a battle of Super Bowl contenders. COVID is no different than just an average Cole as Beasley caught everything.
Deontay Johnson and Johnson gave the Steelers a boost as Big Pharma Roethlisberger threaded the needle to his wide receiver for a score. The game changed on a big play in the second half.
and speaking of a hack getting blocked, no one is able to see Michael Rappaport's tweets anymore. Ha ha ha.
You sick fuck. Here we go.
Steelers, here we go. Pittsburgh's going to the Super Bowl.
Steelers, 23. Bills, 16.
What? What? Some spread. We head to Cincinnati versus Minnesota, two cities known for being very chilly, as we mourn the passing of Joe Burrow, the giraffe.
And in a touching tribute to our sweet prince, the human Joe Burrow had the zookeepers playing neck as he connected with Jamar Chase for 101 yards and a touchdown. In a garden of feeling, Adam was the first man in the end zone, but Minnesota came up short as seven minutes in Evan McPherson went into the closet with his sister, but didn't kiss her, stopping us all from witnessing a tie.
The Bengals, 27. The Vikings, 24.
To Nash Vegas, where four Chandler Jones trolled the Titans' backfield all afternoon long with five sacks. Chris Kyler Murray delivered a kill shot with four touchdowns and over 300 yards.
Kirk was a good Christian, unlike Ryan Satan Hill. As for the Titans' offensive line, well, they had Taylor Le...
Wah, wah, wah, wah. Wah.
Just won it on the record. We're still for the boys.
Cardinals 38, Titans 13. Wah! Wah! Down the road to Atlanta as Jalen Hurts so good.
Arthur Smith stinks we knew that he would cause Jalen Hurts so good. Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts was on fire Sunday.
Hitting his tight end. Zach Hurts so good.
Yeah baby make it hurt so good. Arthur Smith stinks.
We knew that he would. Cause Zach Hurts so good.
Javon Cougar Mellencamp had two sacks. And look at those bald Eagles fly.
Ain't that America. Little diddy about Matthew Ryan.
Just American kid doing the best that he can. But it looks like the thrill of living is gone for the Falcons.
Eagles, 32. The Falcons, 6.
Two birds. Two birds.
Two birds. One cup.
One stone. In Detroit, Trey Lance Bass came out onto the field when the offense wasn't in sync to throw his first career pass, which was also a touchdown.
Tim Debo Samuel did his best impression of a Mets outfielder, dropping an easy ball late in the fourth, keeping the Lions' hope for a win alive. Dan DeLion Campbell had his team fighting until the end, and we'll have to wait another week until we give him his tray flowers.
Niners 41, Lions 33. FUNKBALL! In Indianapolis, where Olivia Rodrigo Blankenship said the kick is up, and it's good for you.
Carson Wentz finally had his cast away, but still let Wilson get away as the first-half MVP was at it again with four touchdowns. Kreese Carson had Pleat Carroll wearing his best pair of sideline kaffies, and speaking of straight lines, D.K.
Metcalf ran a couple routes and scored a touchdown. Seahawks,.
The Colts 16. I'm going to have to tag you on that one, Teej.
Uh-oh. In Rouljon, Justin Herbert Hoover sent Washington fans into a great depression as J.P.
Morgan Chase Young isn't too big to fail after all. Terry Schiavo McLaurin showed signs of life, but Brandon Staley said, Hey, can I borrow this outlet for my Chargers? Too soon, boom.
Dying Fitzpatrick hit his life alert after taking a fall and hurting his hip, and as a fan of football in general, let's hope he's okay. Chargers, 20, Washington football team, 16.
Let me do that again. The San Diego Super Chargers, 20, Washington football team, 16.
and we drive throughcaloosa North, where we'll take a Big Mac and two of cheeseburgers with some Admiral Nelson Aguilar. And don't worry, there might be a little dust on the waddle, but Brian Flores' tenure is getting sweeter with time.
And speaking of time, Bill Belichick starts his 47th straight season coaching in the NFL.

47 years ago, we both had hair, Teej.

A lot more hair, boom.

Tee-tee-tee-tee.

The student becomes a teacher as Flores and the Dolphins take down the hoodie and let me be the first to wish Julian Edelman a happy Yom Kippur from the couch.

As it was clear without him, the New England Patriots weren't fast enough.

Dolphins 17, the Patriots 16. Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola.
Such a fine sight to finally see. He's finally back, leading the Saints attack.
Looking slim and throwing five TDs. You haven't learned your lesson.
Rodgers looks depressing. Your job's in jeopardy.
Answer in the form of a question. Saints 38.
Packers 3. And we finish in Kansas City where you can find me in the tub Battle for a dub As two quarterbacks makes 50 cent Astro Glide, Edwards, a layer Slipped through all the holes And the Kool-Aid man Andy Reid Unleashed Chris Jonestown And the Browns special teams Had Cleveland fans everywhere Gilling themselves As they couldn't get a Guyana Chiefs receiver.
The Chiefs come back for a huge win, 33-29. All right, week one in the books.
Obviously, Monday Night Football coming up. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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Okay week one in the books all of our teams

suck except weather whatever, in Ariat Work Gear. Okay, week one, in the books.

All of our teams suck, except Jake, who is the best in the office.

Again, his Dolphins won.

But if you are just tuning in for your first time with Pardon My Take in the NFL season,

we are going to recap every single game.

We're going to start with Sunday Night Football,

then we're going to go back and go through the entire entire slate you can almost relive your sunday afternoon with us yes so sunday night football the bears suck man they really suck and i don't want to just sit here and just be like man they suck and i hate matt nagy because i think people are probably just sick of hearing that but i really don't have much more to say besides the bears't good, and Matt Nagy, I fucking hate you. Well, I can give you a spin zone.
The Rams look like they could win the Super Bowl based off of tonight. Well.
The Rams look pretty good. Okay, they do.
Matt Stafford, it was very refreshing to see Matt Stafford play on a competent team for a change. Yes.
Except when he danced after he threw that first touchdown pass, that bomb down the field. I've never seen Matt Stafford that happy.
I don't know how to process it. Yes.
It's almost like he's a rookie quarterback this year. We don't really know what Matt Stafford is.
He's very happy. I thought the Rams looked good.
I also thought the Bears' defense is everything that I was worried about because I've talked at length about the whole Matt Nagy, Justin Fields, Andy Dalton thing. is what it is i'm just gonna sit here and watch him tickle us all and play just the tip with justin fields coming in every now and then to do like a shovel pass or he had a touchdown run which was electric uh that is what it is i have been worried for a while oh is that my computer yes i have been worried for a while that the defense was going to age

and it was going to start looking bad.

I don't know what happened to the secondary.

I don't know what happened to Eddie Jackson.

But there were plays in that game that looked like the Bears were a college football team

where you're like, wait, is there a safety on the field?

I can't tell if there is.

So all my worst nightmares in that respect have come true.

The Bears can never, ever have a good offense and a good defense at the same time it is actually impossible so if justin fields becomes the guy which i hope he does of course the defense is going to age the way it does and basically have no pass rush no secondary and everything falls apart but if but if justin fields is good and he's able to use his feet and get around, they're going to eat up more time, so at least the defense won't be tired all the time. That's a bonus.
There we go. I mean, you would rather, though, have one unit that's really, really good and one bad than just have two average units because then you just get confused and you don't know what's going to show up in a given week.
Here's a crazy thing, PFT, and I think we both probably know what this looks like but what about both being good no that can't happen right that's right that's meant for other teams that are i don't know competent be cool it's meant for for teams like the new england patriots to be able to do that big cat we are resigned to be rooting in perpetuity for the most frustrating nfl teams none of that's going to change um i i did enjoy elements of Justin Fields in that offense, especially in that first drive when they put him in. I thought Matt Nagy was a genius for a second.
For a second, I thought he was a genius, and he was saying, you know, like, Andy Dalton is going to start week one no matter what, and then he'd turn the reins over Justin Fields halfway through the very first drive. Turns out Matt Nagy is just as dumb as we thought he was, if not more, because I actually think the dumbest thing that Matt Nagy did tonight was in the fourth quarter when they were down by – what were they down? 14, 13, 20, I don't know.
But they could have kicked a field goal. They were down 13.
They could have kicked a field goal to make it a 10-point game at that time. Instead, they went for it on 4th and 15, got a lot of plays in the playbook for 4th and 15, and then ran a route that took the receiver to like 13 yards.
Correct. And then didn't bring Justin Fields in for the last drive when the game is already at hand and might as well get him some in-game reps.
It was galaxy brain shit because he said, I'm starting Andy Dalton. I'm going to piss everyone off.
I'm starting Andy Dalton. We promised him the job in March.
I don't care what anyone says. Oh, I'm going to put Justin Fields in, but I'm also not going to let him get a rhythm.
I'm also not going to really let him throw. He did throw once.
He completed his first pass. I guess technically twice because there was the shovel pass as well, which was a throw.
I'm not going to let him throw. I'm going to let him use his feet once with the touchdown, but I also am not going to use him in spots like fourth and four when Andy Dalton can't get a first down with his feet and Justin Fields would be the perfect guy to be in there.
I'm going to use Andy Dalton. Again, the moment has always been too big for Matt Nagy.
I really do think the double doink murdered his brain. The fact that he spent the next entire training camp practicing from the exact spot that the double doink happened from that was the sign of a guy who like he he just he he needs uh it's like bill murray and fucking what about bob he he's the crazy one he's the you you're the crazy guy dude like you you can't figure this out so whatever andy Dalton's a nice guy.y it's fine the Bears there was a moment in the game where I was like they're not as bad as I thought they were and then they ended up losing by 20 points and they are just as bad as I thought they were and again the defense is gonna be bad I have something more important to talk about though what what does Chris Collinsworth and Matt Nagy what's going on there so I think it's just because Andy Dalton used to play for the Bengals.
Is that it? I think that Chris has like a thing for a former Bengal that got away, and he's openly rooting for Andy Dalton because he saw Andy Dalton bring competent quarterback play to the Bengals, which is a rare thing in Cincinnati. So I think Collinsworth is now going out on a full limb.
Collinsworth's prep was so, what's the word, fastidious? Is that the SAT word? On Andy Dalton, and he was so prepared to talk about Andy that he didn't even know what Matt Stafford's wife looked like. Did you see that part? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris was like, all blondes look the same from behind to me. I don't know.
I can't tell them apart. It was, what were you going to say, Hank? It was crazy.
Well, no, I was going to say you during the game, you were like upset at Chris Collinsworth, and you were like, find out what he did. Yeah, no, I made memes go find out.
I was like, find out how Chris Collinsworth and Matt Nagy know each other. But the only thing that made sense is the Cincinnati thing.
Cincinnati, also Matt Nagy went on Chris Collinsworth's podcast, and I like Chris Collinsworth, but it was crazy how much he was supporting Matt Nagy's decision and being like, Justin Fields doesn't know how to read a defense. Dude, he played at Ohio State.
He played major, major college football. He's like not stupid.
He knows, of course, there's rookie shit that he probably will make mistakes. Zach Wilson made some mistakes today.
I'd rather, if I were a Jets fan, I'm happy that Zach Wilson was out there making those mistakes because he'll learn. It was just, it blew my mind.
I don't know what Chris Collinsworth and Matt Nagy's relationship is, but it reminded me of, and you guys might not remember this, but I think Bears fans will remember this. John Gruden on Monday Night Football, I think it was like 2013 or 2014, just completely shitting on Jay Cutler because John Gruden used to have Mark Trestman on his coaching staff and essentially just spending the entire broadcast being like, Mark Trestman's trying his best, but the guys are, you know, his quarterback does not know what he's doing.
And just sitting there being like, what the fuck is going on? Why can't you just call this how it is? Like Mark Trestman, not a great coach. And Matt Nagy, not starting Justin Fields, doesn't need an entire broadcast having someone defend him the way that Chris Collinsworth did.
Yeah, and if there's one thing that we will not stand for on this show, it's people that do a podcast being biased towards their guests. But admit it.
We would never do anything like that. We admit our bias.
We admit it. We admit our bias.
When we're biased, we tell you when we're biased. We say when we're biased.
Right now. Also, we're not doing Sunday Night Football.
I think it's a little different. I'm being biased right now in everything that I say.
Yes. You should not listen to me and expect any sort of neutrality.
I'm not Switzerland. Wait, but if Chris Collinsworth is biased on his podcast, I don't give a fuck.
That's his podcast. Right.
This is a broadcast where he's basically telling us Justin Fields isn't able to start in this game and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. Yeah, the only thing that he was nut harder than andy dalton was that circle video board that they had yes just amazed by a circular television and also the quote that he used for sean mcveigh which i'm not going to put on collinsworth i'm going to put on mcveigh where mcveigh said uh we love jared goff he set up the rams to be a franchise good enough that matt Stafford would want to come here.
That was the most brutal thing you can say about a guy. It's essentially the meanest.
It's the woman being like, yeah, my husband was so nice to me and he taught me how to learn and how to find a new boyfriend that can give me great sex. Exactly.
Or yeah, like a guy just being like this listen my my first wife got me to a place where i was comfortable and confident enough in myself that i could go out and hit on other chicks yeah like shout out to her she did a great job we appreciate her time that she spent here it's a girl breaking up with you and being like you taught me how to love and how to respect myself yeah all listen all the pictures that i put of us on instagram together that made other girls be like holy shit this guy this guy is nice enough and normal enough that he can have a girlfriend now i'm interested yeah you taught me that i would like more than two inches yeah okay so you taught me some great lessons that i need to that i need to to think of myself my own self-worth as higher than i was when i was with you with you. That's essentially what Sean McVay said.
It was a very mean thing. That hurt my feelings.
I hope Jared Goff wasn't listening, who played well today in the second half. But yeah, so that was...
The game sucks. The Bears are going to be bad this year.
I'm not going to let it affect me week in and week out. That's the one nice part, is that my expectations could could not be lower so that you can't get hurt as much when you really don't expect anything.
And guess what? We'll get to everything else, but still in first place in the NFC North. I think the gin blossom said that if you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down.
Yeah, there we go. It makes sense.
I'm okay. The only problem I have with the Rams' performance tonight, because I think they played a pretty good all-around game of football, they have too many captains on offense.
Too many captains. They've got Whitworth on the line, Cooks, Cooper Cup, and Matt Stafford are all captains.
I don't like seeing all those Cs out there. Also, their end zone's too many colors.
It is, yeah. I like the idea.
It's a throwback. It's cool, but it just looks fake.
Well, the problem is the first three yards of the end zone, it's a yellow stripe that runs across the field and makes it look like you're not even in the end zone yet. Right, right.
Sometimes teams do that at the back of the end zone. You think they're out of bounds.
You think that you have to go further to get in than you really do. Yeah, no, but the Rams are really good.
That was two mismatched teams, two teams going in in opposite directions and that's what we got for sunday football all right let's move on let's move on to some other games um oh one last thing about the bears game that first that first like five minutes was so fucking funny how they ran the ball back nice run back david montgomery who's awesome i fucking love david montgomery he makes me happy then they get all the way down to like the four yard line and he all throws an interception and then matt safford throws a bomb and it was like game over four minutes into the game was a whole game i was like i'm out of breath i can't handle this all right eagles falcons uh jalen hurts might be the guy and so so week one is a big like oh we probably should have paid attention to this a little more Nick Sirianni so my question is coming out of this game Nick Sirianni good coach Jalen Hurts the guy or did they just play the Falcons I think it's a little bit of both Nick Sirianni by the way knew that he was going to be on TV for the first time like on a big broadcast so. So he wore his most extra medium polo shirt that he had, made him look like he was in good shape.
You have to come out strong as a head coach because first impressions are everything for people like us that see you on TV. And if you look frumpy at all, that's what we have in our minds for you for the rest of your career.
So Sirianni passed that first test. He got dressed using a mirror today, which is good.
And then on the other hand we had arthur smith just i think he said after the game i sucked getting us ready for this game so he pulled the old that's that's the falcon style i gotta take a long look in the mirror myself and it starts with me well i i do feel bad for arthur smith and the fact that i think the falcons are just cursed uh totally new coaching staff you know julio leaves they draft Kyle Pitts. They still can't score in the red zone.
They drove down the field in their first two drives very easily, scored six points total, basically did nothing the rest of the game. And I am at the point now where I officially, I want it on the record, I officially feel bad for Matt Ryan.
I feel bad for Matt Ryan, especially after watching what Matt Stafford got. Matt Stafford is like the middle-aged puppy that got adopted.
Matt Ryan is a slightly older puppy that might smell a little bit, or not puppy, dog, and no one's adopting him. And he's stuck there.
He was like in a long-term foster situation about a year, and he looked great. And he had a bushy tail, happy disposition.
He was finishing his meals, going outside at the appropriate times, not pissing in the house, and then the foster parent had to give him back. And they're like, we can't handle this pup.
I thought going into this season... They were good for a while.
They were good for a while, but at this point it's sad. He's the most sackable quarterback in the NFL.
He can't move. When they were good, they were still kind of bad in weird ways.
Yeah, no, they had a good run. He had a good run.
He won an MVP. They were winning the Super Bowl 28-3.
At this point I feel bad for him because if you're going to play out the stretch in Atlanta, it's probably not going to get better before it gets good. Their defense is bad.
I mean, their defense is really bad. Their offensive line is not good.
And I don't know. I just feel bad for him.
He's not the same guy he was when he won the MVP. I just feel bad.
I don't know. It's sad to see quarterbacks.
He's a really nice guy. And the Falcons are not going to be good this year.
If you compare Matt Ryan Matt Stafford I would have agreed with you going in this season where if you found Matt Ryan a good home like this year I still would have agreed and said yeah he can be a very very good quarterback this year but he just he doesn't look good just when he does have open guys to throw to now it I feel like the last two years the last year and a half has really like sunk him down has, has really defeated him. This season is probably going to be...
I would say that he's not in danger of getting benched because I think his backup is Josh Rosen, who looks like Aaron Rodgers. Still believing him.
Did you see that picture of him? After the game, he looks like Aaron Rodgers got captured by ISIS and is being forced to hold a newspaper up to his head. Still believing him.
He's been on every team in the NFL so far. He's going to keep getting chances.
But I don't see Matt Ryan pulling it together this season, the Falcons being a good team. I think their leading rusher today was Corderell Patterson.
Yeah, no. He's dynamic anywhere he ends up.
He just becomes the guy that you run every play for. By the way, I'm just going to push back on one thing.
Josh Rosen

doesn't get chances. He gets chances

but without getting a chance. He gets chances.

He doesn't actually get a chance.

He gets a home. Yeah, he never

gets an actual chance. He gets a locker.
He gets

passed around and then they're like,

okay, you can be the third quarterback, but you're not

going to get a chance. And he's the kind of guy

that will show up and get the third quarterback

position and then he won't get a chance to even get a rep in practice they'll cut him with no reps yes they'll just move on we signed him we cut him yeah two days later um jalen hurts second touchdown pass that was so we know that we always do this where if you see one play that you love of a guy or a bad play you can kind of just write how him. Jalen Hurts, the way he moved up and to the right in the pocket for his second touchdown pass.
Again, this might be just the Falcons being this bad, but I was like, ooh, he's good. So I'm a believer in Jalen Hurts now.
And I think I'm a believer in Devontae Smith. I think he's big enough to play in the NFL, putting to bed some of those concerns.
Because at first you've got to be able to jam the guy if you're going to jam him.

And it turns out you can just run away from a cornerback.

So he's fast enough to play in the NFL, even though he's, what, like 170 pounds?

Yeah, he's a skinny guy, but he's very, very good.

Okay, the Falcons are going to be really bad.

It's going to be very sad.

I said that a couple weeks ago.

I had a couple people be like, we're not going to be that bad. I think they're going to be really, really bad.
Yeah. All right.
Steelers bills. So it happens to be that TJ Watt actually is very, very good, and they should have paid him all that money because he was fucking awesome.
We also didn't talk about it because it was breaking news at the end of last Thursday's show. Adam Schefter writing a tweet that was just TJ Watt writing the tweet.
It read, Steelers outside linebacker TJ Watt overruled his agents who believed they could get more money today, marched into the office of Steelers president Art Rooney and told them they had a deal. Then the NFL's new highest paid defensive player excused himself and announced he had to go to work.
He had to go work out. Go work out.
Yeah. He had to go work out.
That'll show him. Also work.
Yeah. That, you know what? Keep your money.
I need to get in the gym. This is close to chefs are just being like TJ Watts signed a new contract.
Then he went and rescued a kitten from a tree and an old lady who was tied to a rail track as a

dastardly villain.

Yeah, as a train came barreling down.

Yeah.

Oh, and then he donated all his money.

And oh, he then went and fixed my car.

Thank you, TJ Watt.

Yeah, TJ Watt got a record amount of money for a defensive player who has also donated

one of his kidneys each year to a needy alcoholic child. Are Schefter and T.J.
Watt, they have the same agent? I would assume. Can you find that for me? I don't know, but I feel like...
I would assume. This was written by T.J.
Watt. I actually think this was written by J.J.
Watt. It might have been.
This has J.J.'s fingerprints all over it. It's crazy.
And then, you know what? T.J. Watt is getting dangerously close to getting it too much because announcers are always like, this guy, TJ Watt, he gets it.
He gets it. He understands what it means to be a pro.
He gets it. TJ gets it too much with this whole declaring to the ownership, am I done signing my multimillion-dollar contract? Because I have to go to the gym now.
Hey, guys, I'm sorry that I have to do this paperwork, but I really got to go squat. Okay, please.
All right, so the Steelers' defense is awesome. That was a big time like, oh, yeah, they fell off last year.
Things happened. They got injuries.
It sputtered out. But, fuck, they're really good at defense.
And Cam Hayward needs a lot of credit, too, because I feel like he's the unsung guy where we talk about T.J. Watt a lot.
But Cam Hayward is just – he just eats up space. And they – so the big thing with the Steelers is they just don't have to blitz.
They just get pressure with four guys. And they dominated the Bills today defensively.
There was one really weird play, the fourth and one play that the Bills ran, I think from the Steelers 40-yard line, where Josh Allen dropped back. He turned around, and then he threw it overhand.
You know how we talk about Josh Allen pressing all the buttons when he's getting sacked? This was actually, you do it in Madden all the time, when you accidentally throw a lateral with your quarterback behind the line of scrimmage, and you just throw it as hard as you can to the guy that's directly behind you. Yes.
That's what the play call was for Josh Allen to, like, throw a fucking dart to the running back, staying right behind him, who, of course, gets tackled for a loss in the backfield. It was a weird play call.
That was very strange. It was very strange.
The block punt, this is – you just love when, you know, a coach who says, you know, it's a third of the game. You have 33 starters, big cat.
Yeah, special teams. But it actually did basically swing the entire game.
And the Steelers just, yeah, their defense suffocated the Bills. And I'm not worried about the Bills.
I do think we should stop. As like a country, we should do the Bills a favor and stop pumping them up so that the expectations.
Because I was pumped for the Bills. I was excited for the Bills.
But yeah, I think we should just leave the Bills alone for a little bit. It's a long season.
Let them do their thing. Let Josh Allen do his thing.
Then we can revisit. But yeah, the Steelers and Big Ben, I do think he's lost too much weight.
He got ragdolled by Jordan Poirier, who is like 100 pounds lighter. So put it back on Big Ben.
But I think, is Big Ben in his, let me ask you this, is Big Ben in his playmaker phase where he can just not be good and not throw it deep for three quarters if he can just make a few big throws, which he did in the fourth quarter and win a game. Ben's definitely in, just keep it close.
And then Ben will win the game for game for us. Right.
Make a couple throws. That's all you have to do.
Yeah. Big Ben will make some throws when he counts.
I agree. I think he looks...
It's weird seeing Big Ben that light because at least when he's fat, he's got an excuse of why he's so slow. Right.
And now it's just like, wow, he's slow and he's skinny. Something's got to give here.
Right. Trust me.
I think by Halloween, he'll put that... You know what he needs to do? When's his birthday? I don't know.
He needs, he needs. When's Big Ben's birthday? He needs to have another kid so he can put on, have an excuse to put on the sympathy wave.
Yeah. Listen, I'm eating in sympathy for my wife right now.
Yeah. Give me Big Ben's birthday, Jake.
Big Ben's, if Big Ben's birthday is any time in the next three, three months, we'll get back to Big, Big Ben. But I agree.
I think the Steelers are good. March 2nd.
March 2nd. Ah, shit.
Well, it's almost his, what is it? Half birthday. Half birthday.
Yeah, probably had just passed 10 days ago. Oh, okay.
Well, Christmas coming up, Thanksgiving, Halloween. When are his kids' birthdays? Because he'll have to eat cake for those, right? Yeah, he will have to eat cake.
Yeah, I do think Matt Canada, who's their new offensive coordinator, will figure out a way to kind of open up this Steelers offense, but it was weird watching the game, and it just basically was going back to the beginning of last year where it was like the Steelers can't really do anything offensively, can't really run the ball. They ran the ball a little bit better, but they play unbelievable defense, and Big Ben makes enough plays, and it really was.
I don't think Josh Allen wasn't great, but it was just the defense was up his ass the entire game. And it's very weird seeing Emmanuel Sanders, who, yes, he is a Bill.
I think he's wearing number one now. Really strange.
And actually, you know what the weirdest thing is? I figured out today it's not when a cornerback or a linebacker wears number 11 or number 13 uh it's when a running back wears a single digit that is still fucking with my head i still can't yeah our tight end kyle pitt's wearing number eight yeah the thing that's killing me is when a guy catches a ball and they have number seven or eight yeah i'm like what is going on because that guy he that guy should be a gadget guy the single digit guys are gadget guys be a backup quarterback You shouldn't be a starter. Although it is a nice life hack.
Instead of just wearing a black T-shirt, if you just wear a jersey with a number one on it, that makes you look skinnier too. Also, remind me, I let my bias get the best of me, obviously, because I do want the Bills to do well, but remind me that anytime Mike Tomlin's ever an underdog, we just need to auto-bet him.
That's just what he does. The Bills are used to being like, nobody believes in us.
How are they going to manage the burden of expectations? That's why we gotta lay off. We gotta lay off them so that they can get back to nobody believes in us.
Josh, don't listen to this. Same old Bills.
Same old Bills. Same story as old as time.
They'll probably lose to the Patriots twice again this year. Who do the that's just how it is yeah we just need to chill out with the bills that's all i just thought about that because i was genuinely hyped to watch the bills and i thought you know they were going to be electric offensively again it was a very tough start you know against a really really good defense so we just all need to collectively say hey bills go do your thing and then your thing, and then we'll revisit when we've written a ton of stories.

They're playing at the Dolphins next week, and then they have the Washington football team.

That's a big game at the Dolphins.

And they have the Texans, so that will be good.

They're all big games.

They're all big games.

Any given Sunday.

All right, Vikings, Bengals.

Bengals win 27-24.

The Bengals have the most tie energy of any franchise ever. Huge tie energy.
They're just always flirting with a tie or tying. It would have been great to get a week one tie.
My biggest takeaway from this game, though, is I don't know how Vikings fans deal with it at this point because I am sick of watching Kirk Cousins, and I have nothing do with him. I'm so sick of watching him play football.
I really am. Well, he stinks as is his right, his body, his choice.
I've had to watch Kirk Cousins stink it up for a long time and he's the kind of quarterback that will have a couple games this season where he'll look good and he'll throw some very nice long completions. But Kirk Cousins is what kirk cousins has always been yeah and he's extremely frustrated and i can't imagine how you feel if you're paying him all that money to be like a top five quarterback in the nfl and then he goes out there and he looks i mean at his best he looks like matt stafford on on like the worst steroids in the world well the the best part about like having well there's a lot of good parts of this job, but one of them is that we get to sit and watch all the games on Sunday.
So we were watching this game, and if you didn't watch this game, and you just went and looked or you played fantasy, and you saw that Kirk Cousins had 351 yards and two touchdowns, you're like, damn, Kirk Cousins. No, he stinks.
He stinks. He doesn't throw the ball down field at all if you have a third and long it's basically an auto punt it's just he's bad he he had a 5.8 yards depth of target no i think he's bad at this point i don't think he's bad but he stinks no he's bad he stinks he's bad because of how much money he's taking up okay now he's officially bad now that can you can taking's taking resources from everyone else.
He's breathing our air. He's a bad asset.
Yeah, right. Right.
No, he's officially a bad asset. If he was paid...
Two dollars. Jameis money.
Two dollars. If he's paid Jameis money, he would still stink.
Two dollars I'd pay him. But he wouldn't be bad.
I'd pay him two dollars. Fun fact about the Bengals, the reason they give off big tie energy, they've never scored an offensive touchdown in overtime oh wow as a franchise i love that so say how many overtimes a lot say what you want about fat randy but you remember when he missed that kick last year the route that he accidentally kicked inside the stadium that threw off his remember he looks down yeah at the grass they got rid of that route okay now they've got uh what's his name evan mc.
Yes. That was cool seeing a rookie kicker in his first overtime get carried off the field.
Yeah, it was cool. And, you know, the Bengals played well.
It was great to see Joe Burrow out there. I did think at times it was like, why aren't they letting Joe Burrow throw it more? But they were running the ball really well.
Joe Mixon was awesome. He was good.
And Zach Taylor had an all-time just be right at the end moment because he basically blew the game he got them to overtime by blowing the game it was uh he went for it on fourth and one on his own 30 with three minutes left in the third quarter up 14 it was and it was essentially when we get to a point where we get so aggressive with analytics and it's like always go for it on fourth down, never punt, and you just lose all ability to take time and space. The Bengals were dominating the Vikings.
The game was essentially over. He gives the ball right back to them.
They score. Game on.
But then he redeems himself and the fourth and one where it they were they had Joe Burrow do a play action pass where everyone bit and he throws it deep in overtime to win the game that was genius well I want to correct the narrative right now because I'm glad that you brought that play up because I saw everybody online being like what a play call by Zach Taylor a lot of Randy Marsh gifts of him with the wheelbarrow and the nutsack going around town. That was Joe Burrow who checked out of that play and into the play that ended up getting them that massive gain.
So he gets credit for going for fourth and one. He gets credit for putting Joe Burrow in a position to be Joe Burrow.
It's just crazy because it really, and we'll get to like the Dolphins-Patriots game where the distinction between, the difference between winning and losing is so razor thin that no one will really talk about Zach Taylor essentially almost losing him that game with that fourth and one call on his own 30 with three minutes left. When the game was we were watching that game, it was on they were dominating that game.
It was a bird brain move. Yeah, it was crazy.
We were saying in the moment, it was not revisionist history. We were saying, what the fuck are you doing? Being aggressive is great.
More coaches should be aggressive. That was just plain stupidity.
Yeah. That should be, we should do a part of my take, like hollow brain move of the game.
Move of the week. And that was the hollow brain move.
We will not forget about that move by Zach Taylor. No.
You know what? I'm counting that as a loss in Zach Taylor's head coaching record. It counts as a win overall, and for Joe Burrow, it counts as a dub.
Also, maybe Jamar Chase was just fucking with all of us because he caught the ball fine. I actually think that he was.
I think he was like, what's the dumbest sounding thing I can say? Well, I can't catch the ball because it doesn't have the white stuff on it. What can I get Florio to block? Yeah.
He's basically, Jamar Chase, come on the podcast. You and us, we're the same because you're just pranking Florio in a different way.
Did you see Joe Burrow went up to the podium and he's like, I thought Jamar Chase drops everything. So this was a prank.
Yeah. And they pulled it off.
Also, the last 10 ties in NFL history, the Bengals have been part of four of them. Yeah.
Tie energy. The most tieable franchise ever.
Tie energy. I was rooting so hard for a tie, too.
They're like Mario Kart for football games. Even if they're way ahead, someone will get a lightning or go for it on 4th and 1 on 30 and catch them at first place.
They're like a really average soccer team. They're like the U.S.
men's national team. They're Wolverhampton.
There you go. They tie a lot, I think.
Okay, I love it. Pretty sure.
One thing I'm a little bit concerned about, Mike Zimmer looks like he put on maybe 40 pounds in the offseason. That's okay.
You think he's going to work it off? I think he will during football season. He's like the opposite of Big Ben, where he's just going to live in his office and just subsist on a diet of sunflower seeds and red man.
If he switches to zero-calorie red man, I think he'll drop 15 pounds within five days. You also forgot that I think he has a new girlfriend, so he's good.
He doesn't... You know what I mean? Yep.
He's 40 pounds. When you're 40 pounds overweight, you still get laid.
All I'm saying, Mike Zimmer, good job. I'm so sick of Kirk Cousins.
Sorry, Vikings fans. I'm just so.
They know. Yeah, I know.
I know. I was just thinking about how much it must suck now because it really is that much, much, much money.
And he just, he sucks. So I've noticed that, you know, three years ago when I started laying real thick on the Kirk Cousins slander, there were a lot of Vikings fans that would defend him.
The last two years, they understand. You start to slowly realize the type of situation you're in with Kirk Cousins.
Because you're right, he does have those moments and the stat lines where it's like, yeah, he played like the numbers say that he was a top 10 quarterback this weekend. But you see that enough, and you're like, I'm not going to get fooled again by this.
He's also, if everything is right around him, you can sell yourself on it. Because if your defense is great, and you have great wide receivers, you're like, okay, this could work.
Because he's more than competent in that setting. But when it's not exactly that setting, it's like, man, does he stink.
Yeah. Well, like we said, he's a badass.
It's tough to have everything right around him when he's taking up such a huge percentage of the cap. And he gets paid a ton of money, and he doesn't elevate anyone's game.
That's really what it comes down to. The great quarterbacks in the league elevate other people.
He does not. The only player that he'll elevate on the field is his tight end.
Because Kyle Rudolph, he got a lot of touchdowns from Kirk Cousins, throwing him really catchable balls inside the five-yard line. But besides that, you're right.
He doesn't make anybody better. Right.
All right, 49ers, Lions, Trey Lance, first QB to throw his first pass for a touchdown since Tim Tebow in 2010. Shout out Tim Tebow.

This game was a

blowout and then Dan Campbell.

They never quit. That was

the Lions fighting them, which I love to

see. We all kind of expected it that they

wouldn't quit in games. But yeah, it was

more like you look at this

score and you'll say, oh, the Lions

were kind of close there. Oh, did you catch

your bug? I tried clapping a fly

and missed. But to me, it was more

that Kyle Shanahan's back

Thank you. score, and he'll say, oh, the Lions were kind of close there.
Oh, did you catch a bug? I tried clapping a fly. I missed.
But to me, it was more that Kyle Shanahan's back. The 49ers have an offense back.
Guys are not injured anymore. Jimmy G was pretty good.
They had two injuries today. Starting cornerback towards ACL.
Okay, that sucks. And then Mostert hurt his knee.
They don't think it's an ACL. They can just roll out anybody back.
Whoever. I run for 1500 yards yeah i think they were i think their first seven possessions went uh jimmy g fumbled and then they scored in the next six yeah so like they they were rolling rolling rolling everyone got a little bit of a scare because i think the 49ers week one this year was the most teased game in America, history.
Everyone had the 49ers in a tease. So the Lions almost ruined all that.
But yeah, it was more that the 49ers look awesome again. And the Lions, they didn't quit.
But yeah, they're not, I mean, they don't have a great roster. I agree that Dan Campbell should probably just get a contract extension now for having the Lions come back in this game.
For having a roster that's so badly outmatched compared to the 49ers and to be down that much and to come back and keep it competitive. And yeah, they got an onside kick, but still they did not quit.
Good for them. Jared Goff played well in the second half.
Jared Goff played really well in the second half. And they had a running back just got uh well he definitely he definitely did not kill a guy billy did you find anything else about that i i said you weren't here but i said as we're talking about deandre swift there was a weird rumor online last week and my rule of what in life is if billy believes something to be 100 fact it's almost always not true no.
The only things that was substantiated that there was a picture of a police report saying that there was a report. Billy was like, I got the police report.
Well, Billy, I'm essentially a cop. He literally came in the room and said, a report just came out that DeAndre Swift killed a guy.
Well, I was asking if you guys knew anything because there was also an actual news report of the events happening. So the event in the police report did actually happen.
We should just do this, though. Him and OJ confirmed running backs didn't kill somebody.
The data was the same. The same night, there was a murder.
Same place I was described in the report. Whenever there's a rumor like this online, we just need to have you do a press conference and give your findings.
And then we just do the opposite. Wouldn't it be great if Dan Campbell leaked that report just to make the 49ers afraid of him? Like, wow, we're going up against a guy that shot a dude? The report could have been photoshopped.
It could have. It could have.
You're willing to say that. I'm saying the report was definitely of a real shooting that occurred.
We don't know if they put in football player DeAndre Swift was in it. It was just a picture of someone's computer.
Right. So it could have been...
That's actually harder to fake. A picture of a computer? No, because then you just do a Photoshop and the Photoshop doesn't look as fake because you're taking a picture of it with your phone.
It's way easier. It's true.
Okay. Either way.
Yeah. Credit to the Lions.
Good try, though, Billy. I don't want it to be true but of course not yeah yeah listen that's our that's our job as as journalists yes look into this stuff the lions uh fought they fought their ass off listen billy you're you it's like my picks on sports advisors were one in five today i think one in five terrible you can fade me it's good to have you around so when news like this happens and you say yo he killed the guy I'm like all right good now I don't have to worry about it like yeah I don't have to drop him for my fantasy team he definitely didn't kill a guy like it's good that was their biggest win of the week is our running back is not a murderer imagine if he did that we know he's gonna have a great I hope for you Billy I hope no one actually killed anybody okay there we go all, good.
Anti-murder. I'm happy Debo Samuel had a good game except for that fumble just because his name is awesome.
Yeah, Debo. Debo Samuel.
I'm terrified of a guy named Debo. It's great.
A million percent of the time. It's great.
So, all right. Next up, Cardinals-Titans.
God damn it. Chandler Jones was incredible.
Five sacks. The Cardinals whooped, whooped the Titans.
So there was, I saw a stat. Chandler Jones, this is his second career game with four plus sacks and two forced fumbles, and he's the only player to do that in the last 20 years.
So he basically just goes nuclear, and no one can stop him. We are for the boys, but there were some boys that had bad games but we are for the boys is is taylor focusing too much on podcasting i don't know more blocking for the boys less talking we're the for we are for the boys yeah for sure that's not even a question we we are the biggest boys podcast i also had a have a confession to make I don't want to to say i forgot because i i think i just didn't realize that aj green was on the cardinals yeah yeah just didn't realize aj green's on the cardinals and on the card he's still good yep he's still very good and rondell moore is awesome and the cardinals are loaded offensively kyler murray looks taller than he did last year when does the human body stop growing vertically? I don't know.
Please say 37 or 38. Billy? I think it's 25.
It's 21. 21.
Okay, 21. Kyler looks taller.
I don't know if it's a bigger helmet or what it is. Maybe it's a smaller helmet, which would make the rest of his body look a little bit bigger.
But he is able to do things on the football field that I forgot how dynamic he is when he's running with the ball. And he's at his best, I think, when he's scrambling around, buying time, getting ready to throw.
And much like Russell Wilson, he's always looking downfield to see where the guy's going to be cutting to because you can't cover a wide receiver for longer than three seconds at a time. So when he's just like – I don't know if he's the fastest quarterback in the league.
He might not be the 0-60 fastest,

but I think he's the fastest going from 60 to 0. Ooh, nice.
Cutting on a dime. I think he stops really fast.
So I think Lamar Jackson's probably the fastest. And I was thinking about this, and this is a very, very big compliment I'm about to give Kyler Murray.
I think Kyler Murray, and again, I know Lamar Jackson won the MVP. Incredible player.
I think Kyler Murray is the most real-life video game character since Michael Vick. When you watch him run around, it looks like if you had just created a player in a video game and made him 99 speed and just every play you just did laps around the linemen trying to get guys open.
It's crazy watching him run in the backfield. Like you said, it's not even running forward.
It's just spinning and running backwards. He is, Carson Wentz thinks that he's Kyler Murray.
That's how he plays. But Kyler Murray is so fucking good and so special that yeah, I kind of forgot.
Like, watching him play today was incredible. I think he is the human D-pad, not the human joystick.
Yeah. He's like, he's amazing to watch out there.
But you remember And you know what? I think he's actually, at least in this game, he looks like he's gotten better as a passer too. Yes.
But you remember when Michael Vick, like, came on the scene and he was the video i mean first at virginia tech then the falcons madden 2004 playing with him in madden was incredible it was like michael vick is a cheat code this is awesome and his real life was essentially like playing a video game because he would do runs you're like that's a video game run kyler murray is the first guy like that, where it's like, what the fuck? How is he running? He ran one today where he ran like backwards 20 yards and no one even came close to touching him. And then he ran forwards 10 yards and threw the ball down the field.
Yeah. You know, he's a lot of fun to watch.
I do think it's interesting that Chandler Jones had this game, a career game, right when JJ Watt gets into the locker room. Maybe they're sharing supplements.
I don't know. Interesting.
Can Seiko and Maguire shared supplements, too, before Maguire went on that terror. Interesting.
By the way, I think— I'm not saying—I'm not making any accusations. You just thrown up.
It's a fact that J.J. Watt is now in the same locker room.
That's true. That he is in the same locker room as Chandler Jones.
Or J.J. Watt's the double teams.
Oh, nice. There you go.
Freeing up the rest of the guys. Mike Vrabel definitely strikes me as a bury the football guy.
This would be a good bury the football game. Just be like, week one didn't happen.
We're moving on. Let's fucking pretend this.
Just bury the football. Have a funeral for a football.
Actually, actually literally bury a football on week two. I could see him instead of lighting the film on fire, just lighting the film room on fire.
Yeah. Just like throwing a couple of M80s into the film room.
Something literal needs to happen. Taping it off with like costume tape.
We're not going into that room. Whenever that environment was in there, that's radio.
That's Chernobyl. We don't go into that room anymore.
We're getting a new film room from now on. He is – I want to give a little bit of credit to Billy Football for his Derrick Henry take that he came out with a year, year and a half ago.
It's actually genius. It is genius that Derrick Henry is not a good short yardage back because he's just too big.
He's too tall, right? His legs are too long. His legs are too long.
I kind of agree with that. I don't know if it's necessarily just his legs, but we know that Mike Vrabel respects mass more than anything.
He just likes big dudes on his team, and there's just more of him to tackle. Yeah.
Also, it takes him longer to accelerate because his legs are so long, so that's how J.J. Watt catches him in the backfield in those situations.
And we watched it. There was a first and goal, and they ran it two or three times, and he got tripped up in the backfield.
Their offensive line also had an all-time bad day. But yes, I agree with your take.
Just a certain play when he's running in between the tackles because when he goes out on stretches, he gets those yards. Right.
It's just him in space. Yeah, because he can run horizontally for a few yards, build up that head of steam, and then make that cut and deliver a stiff arm from hell.
Right. But, yeah, when he gets the ball in the backfield, he does take like a gather step almost.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, so the Titans throw it out. Cardinals, who knows? This could be – I do have the take that Cliff Kingsbury could be on the hot seat this year and I actually think that this performance actually solidifies my take that the Cardinals have so much offensive firepower now like the fact they have Rondell Moore who is electric at Purdue and AJ Green and Christian Kirk and DeAndre Hopkins who it feels like DeAndre Hopkins is doing a – it feels like he's on a you-guys-all-forgot-about-me tour like the last year and a half where it's like you guys forgot I'm one of the best players in the NFL.
So, yeah, I think they are going to be very good, and if they're not, I'm going to blame Cliff Kingsbury. Well, I think that's fair.
The offense did look shitty, and it wasn't just the blocking. It wasn't just the offensive line, which was definitely a problem.
But they looked totally out of sync. That's a new offensive coordinator that they have because Arthur Smith got hired for the Falcons.
And so, I don't know. Is this a regression year for Ryan Tannehill? I've been very wrong about Ryan Tannehill for the last two years.
You're Max Kellerman. I am.
I am. But if I keep saying it, I'll eventually be right.
You absolutely. I mean, he has to retire at some point.
Right. Right.
All right. Seahawks, Colts.
I'm going to throw my hand up again. There's a lot of storylines going into this season.
I do think that we kind of just forgot about the Seahawks and russell wilson obviously it's you know first half of the season russell wilson um russell wilson almost russell wilson got cucked on his own i'm discontent i want to get out of my my city by aaron rogers like he wasn't even the he didn't even get to win that this offseason but the seahawks looked awesome they kind of took their foot off the gas towards the end, but Russell Wilson was out of this world. He was hitting the deep balls.
He had four touchdowns. He only had a few incompletions.
He was incredible. They have the new offensive coordinator.
Maybe they finally figured out the perfect mix and match of run-pass, Shane Waldron, because Chris Carson had a good game, but they were also throwing the ball. And, yeah, I don't know.
The Colts are the weirdest team, because I feel like we've been talking about the Colts roster. Like, Chris Ballard has won a million awards, and where is it? Well, it's because everything around the middle of their offensive defense is really good.
Like, their linebackers are really good. Their offensive line is really good.
But their offensive line kind of got in.

The Seahawks, the crazy thing about this game

is the Seahawks might have a defense again.

They might.

Their defensive line was very good.

Still pretty early to say that.

Yeah, no, of course.

But the Colts' offensive line is very good.

With the Seahawks, we're still grading on a scale

for the last couple years because they've been awful,

really bad defensively.

But if they can be decent, I might have been too soon to label them frauds. But again, it's against the Colts right now.
And Jim Irsay actually needs to take some credit for it, because he tweeted out that the roof would be closed. That was his decision.
And then he had people responding to him, pointing out that there are 152 sunny days a year in Seattle, and in Indianapolis there are 186 sunny days per year,

so it actually would have been to their advantage to close the roof.

Mr. Ursae said, he acknowledged that.

He said, yeah, I've got to love my roof announcements.

Thank you for pointing this out.

Ursae can always take the blame for this.

Yeah.

Be like, this is my fault.

That's true.

I roofied myself.

Yes, exactly.

Thankfully, I am finally cured of my Carson Wentz might still be good disease. Oh, yeah.
So I'm done with that, which is nice because it did cost me a lot of money last year where I was like, that guy I saw him in 2018, 17, whatever it was, he was awesome. He was an MVP candidate.
That's why I bet on him. I'm cured.
That's why I bet on him. Yeah, I'm cured.
Because I am not cured yet. I still think he can do it.
Oh, you bet on the Colts today? Yeah. I thought you bet on the Seahawks.
No, I bet on the Colts. I'm still very much in the middle of thinking.
I said on Friday's show that I have the mindset that every Philadelphia Eagles fan had until they traded him. Yeah, that's right.
Which is, we can put this all together eventually, Carson Wentz. I still think that they can.
I'm cured, thankfully. But I'm in a weird place where I know that I'm wrong to think that.
Yeah. But I still think it.
So you need to. There's got to be a German word for that.
I just woke up one day and I was like, he sucks. So hopefully that happens.
Just enlighten me. Yeah.
It'll be like Nirvana. I'll just wake up one day and I'll be a changed person.
I remember. I bet him a bunch of times last year being like, oh, Carson Wentz Wentz Eagles, they're going to fight.
And then for some reason today I woke up or it was actually probably a couple of months ago. I was like, Carson Wentz is not good.
I can't wait for that moment when I wake up. It's great.
It's freeing. You know, like when people are struggling to get over breakup and somebody tells them one day you wake up and you just won't miss her anymore.
Yeah, that's what I'm, I'm hoping for that day with myself and Carson Wentz. I don't even look at his Instagram anymore.
I hope not. Yep.
I'm sick of seeing all those fucking dead ducks. Uh-huh.
Yeah, but we did forget about the Seahawks, so apologies. Fucking NFC West is so loaded.
Also, we should have known better than to bet against Pete Carroll the day after 9-11. True.
He's been up for days just doing his research. he's yeah he's wired right now he's he is definitely wired i can the entire nfc west make the playoffs is that is that the thing we're gonna say you think p carroll ever like watches loose change and he throws a challenge flag at his stream yeah probably can we get a review yeah please looked like thermite back to the booth here i don't believe see a plane.
Did you see? God damn it. The internet's actually the worst.
There was like people going viral on September 11th being like, I don't see any planes. And it was just a reverse angle.
Like, are we really this stupid? But we are. We are.
We are this stupid. We are absolutely this stupid.
All right. PF.
What? I was just going to say people think that like still just a missile hit the pentagon yeah when hundreds of people yeah we're driving on the road and saw yeah we are definitely that stupid all right sorry for forgetting about the uh seahawks their uh guy from their pick from a last year i want to say daryl taylor their pass rusher from Tennessee, who got hurt he played today and is good. So that's why I'm starting to think, oh, okay, bonus pick.
Like if your guy, if you pick someone, he gets hurt and then he comes back, that's a bonus draft pick. You got another first rounder.
Right. He might have been a second rounder, but either way, I think the Seahawks we'll see but the Colts obviously have an offensive line that everyone raves about so I'm I'm thinking maybe they have a defense again but again it's Russell Wilson first half of the we got to wait till Monday Night Football and someone says Russell Wilson's never got an MVP vote and then that's when we start well Pete Carroll is going to vote him.
Yes. Pete Prisco.
What'd I say? Pete Carroll. Pete Carroll also.
That's okay. All right.
PFT, before we get to the next game, you have a word from our great sunglass sponsor. I do.
And PFT is going to possibly take off his sunglasses, not this Thursday, but the following Thursday, when we do a stream-a-thon. So go subscribe.
I think it's more than a stream-a-thon. I think it's a sub-a-thon.
It's a stream-a-thon. So go subscribe.

I think it's more than a stream-a-thon.

I think it's a sub-a-thon.

It's a sub-a-thon.

You're right.

We're going to eat a sub.

Billy's going to eat an entire party sub.

We're going to get the biggest sub that we can find.

Chicken parm.

Billy wants a chicken parm.

And I think we have 25,000 subscribers left to go.

Yep.

And I'll lower the Shady Rays one last time.

I'll put him back on, but I'll lower them at least one time.

But we're going to be doing that. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Season's over. So, Ryan Fitzpatrick hurt his hip, which is not good for a man his age.
Usually when someone hurts their hip, we put them in a retirement home. I don't think that's going to happen for Ryan Fitzpatrick.
I think he's got hip dysplasia, like an old Labrador. Yeah, that's why you don't throw a tennis ball to your lap.
Right. You got to keep him on a pitch count for sure.
I'm a little bit concerned. PFT is so concerned.
So he went through the range of emotions. When it happened, he said, well, he's questionable to return.
I was like, dude, they throw the questionable on just so that people can feel okay for a second. No, because I look at it in my terms where, like, I'm questionable to wake up every day.
You were like, he's questionable to return. I was like, I don't think he's coming back in the game.
And then an hour after the game, PFT was, like, eating in the other room and comes back into the TV spot. And he's like, and we've got an update on Fitzpatrick.
And we all were like, what? No. I need it.
Why? Why? We're watching games. We don't care.
All right. So first of all, it's never a good sign before the game when your stadium is literally leaking sewage onto all the fans, which is a great metaphor for what it's been like to watch that team for the most part for the last 30 years.
But no, they were just dumping shit onto the fans that were in the stands. Not a good start, not omen for the season but still it's Fitzpatrick he'll be good he'll he'll figure out a way to make some magic happen so I feel more robbed that if this is if he's hurt and out for the season I didn't get a dose of Fitzpatrick I know I got like one half if that like a quarter I feel bad for you.
I wanted more. I feel like the strength of our team is our defensive line, and our defensive line sucked today.
Didn't get home. They were not good.
Didn't get home. I have the stat for you.
Chase Young. Well, I'm going to tell you real quick.
Five pressures. Five pressures.
Win rushing four. Chase Young was off the field on one of the most important third and longs of the game.
I don't know what was going on in that moment. Tired.
But if you're Chase Young, you should probably be on the field in a passing situation to try to get the ball back and have your team win the game. Don't know what was happening again.
I still think that Montez Sweat's good. I think that they've got enough talent.
I don't know if the scheme was different or whatever it was today. It's week one.
Also, the Chargers, I have them winning that division. Yeah.
I have the Chargers as one of my best teams in the NFL this year. So, yeah, it was against a very good team.
Catch of the year, too. Catch of the year? For what? Who? The football team.
What? Did you tell the catch, the overhand, catch on the sidelines? No. It went through the Chargers players' hands? No.
Oh, I did see that catch. Who caught it? That was a sick catch.
Yes, yes. It was sick.
Catch yeah catch of the year terry mcclorn still very very good i actually i um i looked it up ryan fitzpatrick has a hip subluxation i don't know what that is um but i did ask billy to look up with all the doctor we want billy we want billy to be our injury expert on the show and we're talking crime expert and crime. But mostly, for actual football analysis, I think you could do a good job being our pro football doc.
And Bubba said we should call him bro football doc. Yes.
I think that's good. Rub some dirt on it.
What do you have for us on Ryan Fitzpatrick? Can I just say one thing before you start with your job as bro football doc? Any rib injuries I'd like to take care of? Yes. Okay.
So subluxation is not dislocation but it's kind of halfway. So you got like the hip halfway out of the hip joint.
I feel like that's being halfway pregnant. Either your hips out or it's in.
This hurts. The part I couldn't really find.
That's like is it in yet? Is it just hanging there halfway? Does it pop back in? Can you pop it back in? Popping it back in would probably be the move. I don't think that's the best medicine.
It's always a good thing when the doctor's like, I think it's probably the move to get your hip back into it. That'd be clutch if we could do that real quick.
That sounds bad. But when he was walking off the field, he gave us a thumbs up.
Oh, okay. All right, there we go.
That's the kind of analysis I want, Billy. He gave us a thumbs up.
If you give a thumbs up, you're fine. No one who's ever, ever been severely injured has given a thumbs up.
Never. He seemed pretty chill about it.
He did seem pretty chill about it. He did seem pretty chill.
Actually, Billy, don't call yourself a doctor. Call yourself a medic.
Yeah. Field medic.
I did – it was just very sweet, though, because when you came in, PFT, and were like, anyone got a Fitzpatrick update, it was like as if like Patrick Mahomes or Aaron Rodgers had like torn their knee. And it was like going to be the leading story when they cut in with Terry Bradshaw.
It's like, well, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. So one, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Not a bad thing. And two, it's Ryan Fitzpatrick.
He'll probably be back because it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. He gets injured and then comes back all the time.
It's funny you mentioned that you thought that's what was going through my brain because for a second, I got mad because we always get a storyline in week one if there are some significant injuries. There's always like that pre-Sunday Night Football moment where Florio is talking with, I guess in this case it would be Maria Taylor and, I don't know, usually Jack Collinsworth.
And they're like, and the story this year is, it was Injury Sunday, it was Black Sunday and the NFL is superstars across the league, went down and succumbed to various leg injuries. I was like, why is nobody talking about what a tragic day this is in the NFL because Ryan Fitzpatrick got hurt? Yeah, when you said it.
And then I realized it's Ryan Fitzpatrick. I think Marty Mush was even like, why would we fucking care? I care a little bit because I do like Ryan Fitzpatrick and I care about you.
But, yeah, I don't think it's leading any stories. But I hope he's back.
I hope he's back. I hope he gets better because I also want to see Ryan Fitzpatrick out there.

And Taylor Heineke is a perfectly fine quarterback,

but you never see any great quarterbacks with arm tattoos.

Yeah.

Like arm sleeves.

I'm trying to think.

Which tells me he's a good backup to have to keep things feisty.

Who's the best arm sleeve quarterback?

Yeah, I can't think of any.

Chad Kelly probably has a couple.

I can't think of any either.

Manziel?

Michael Vick?

Why are you whispering?

It's okay to say the name Michael Vick.

I've already said Michael Vick in this podcast.

Let's talk about the Chargers real quick.

This is a game.

I don't want to say this is going to be mean this is a game that phil rivers chargers lose and that is the nicest thing i can say about brandon staley and justin herbert because like think about it one score game they get the ball like the most impressive thing that justin herbert did today is they get the ball with 643 left on their own 18 and the was football team never gets the ball again they had four third down conversions third and 16 third and seven third and four like all over the place he made the big throws when he needed to and that feels like a game that Phil Rivers would have not gotten the first first down Washington football team would have scored a touchdown then we would have him trying to score late in the fourth quarter. But that was like a clinical Justin Herbert.
You can trust him. I feel like that's the next level of maturity for a quarterback is not like the wow plays.
It's if you get a chance to ice a game. Can you ice the game? He's not going to fuck everything up for you.
You're right. He iced the game.
He didn't let you get the ball back. He was methodical.
He made the throws when he needed to. Yeah, he's really fucking good, and this is a game the old Chargers, those Chargers would have lost to these Chargers.
Yeah, these Chargers are a lot better, and with Phillip River, it's not just about his quarterback play. It's just his whole aura on the sidelines.
If he's on your team, weird shit's going to happen.

It's like a multiplying effect where your defense is going to give up

the dumbest penalty ever, where you hit a quarterback five seconds

after they throw a pass, and you think that you're getting off the field

on third and long, and they just take out their knee.

That's what happens to Phillip Rivers-led teams for whatever reason.

Not an indictment on Phillip Rivers. It's just a fact.
Yeah. That's what goes down.
Justin Herbert is awesome, and the Chargers are run. I just thought of that when I was watching that game.
I was like, this is a game that the old Chargers would have found a way to lose on the road, all the way across the country, first game of the season, and they won. So that's a great, great sign for Brandon Steele and Justin Herbert.
Season's over. That's all right.
Join me. Season's over.
That's great. Yeah, it was pretty much the worst start for the Washington football team in the fact that they – At least you guys aren't playing primetime anytime soon.
Yeah, good point. They lost the first game.
The Cowboys probably aren't as bad as we thought, and also the Eagles are somehow like, this is just the NFC East in a nutshell. Jalen Hurts somehow winning the NFC East this year would be perfectly NFC East.
I think this Thursday, I'm about to slap a can't lose on it. Oh, wow.
Not a must win yet, but you can't lose this game if you want to be in contention. You can't.
You can't. All right, Jets-Panthers.
We'll go quick with this one. I mean, this was a reminder that Christian McCaffrey is fucking incredible because he was hurt.
I think he played three games last year. He had 21 rushes for 98 yards, nine catches for 89 yards.
Basically does it all. And then also Zach Wilson looking okay, bad, but also good.
I think he looked fine. Right, like he looked like a rookie quarterback.
He looked fine. He didn't do anything that made me be like, I didn't slap the bust label on him.
And believe you me, when I'm watching rookie quarterbacks in week one of their first year, I have a – Oh, we're going to get to Trevor Lawrence. Yes, please, because it's funny you say that.
I have one note for that game. Trevor Lawrence, all capitals, bust.
Bust. Yeah, but no, but Zach Wilson made, he had a couple nice drives at the end of the game.
What did you think, Billy? Billy was wearing his Zach Wilson jersey. He also was getting duped by replays a couple times.
It's all preseason, or not preseason. It's all week one for us, because watching the games today, around 3 o'clock, I was spent.
I physically was spent.

We need to get back in game shape.

New setup, too.

Yep.

But I think you looked like Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl.

Wow.

Really?

Wait, which Super Bowl?

The last one.

Okay.

So his offensive line sucks, but he was making plays.

I don't hate that.

I mean, I think if they had more game, they would have won.

They ran out of time.

Exactly. Love it.

Mekki Beckton got hurt today, was taken off the field on a cart. He was crying.
He had the towel over his head. It looked real bad.
Turns out they're saying it's just a sprained MCL. Yeah.
So he can come back. But he did not give the thumbs up.
He was giving a thumbs down. Yeah.
As he was going off. Turns out that he's okay.
Yeah, he was crying. He was crying.
Also, this is maybe the most hilarious next-gen stat I've ever seen. So, you know, like how they always just like to throw out.
Who does the next-gen stats? Who creates them? Either way, next-gen stat from this game. Sam Darnold went a career-high two-for-six for 62 yards and a touchdown on deep passes.
Okay. A career-high two-for-six and 62 yards and a touchdown on deep passes.
Okay. A career-high two for six and 62 yards and a touchdown on deep passes.
That is a next-gen insult. He insults that.
He's Mr. Two for Six because he also had two completions for six yards to his namesake, Dan Arnold, Oh, at tight end.
That's all.

That's always weird when they're like Sam,

Sam Darnold to Dan Arnold.

Yeah.

That's a mouthful.

Um,

I have,

wow.

The Texans fans had a sign.

Don't need to Sean.

That's so,

and you can tell that that's a sign that they wrote after they got in the

game and saw how the game was going.

Yes.

They didn't write it beforehand.

They were not,

they didn't go into this game thinking they don't need to Sean Watson. Yesun Watson.
Yes, yes. But, yeah, they made that on the fly.
So, according to them, I had two other things about the Carolina-New York game. One, Sam Darnold just kind of looks like Jake DeLome when he's in there, just body type, head structure, similar quarterbacks.
Number two, it should be illegal for the linebackers to change their numbers right before the game. They swapped numbers.
Two linebackers and the Panthers. These guys spend too long watching film game planning for this to have you switch up the numbers on this last second.
Yep. Also, their new turf looks awesome.
It does. It's totally new.
Also, there's a giant panther that attacked the field in the stands before the game. I hope everyone's okay.
Somehow, they got their heads down. They were able to play a game of football after a giant robotic panther slaughtered thousands.
Yes. That was very scary.
Very scary moment. All right.
Jaguars, Texans. So let's give the Texans credit.
Hey, let's clap it up for the Texans. Let's clap it up for the Texans.
Pete Prisco actually nailed it on Friday's show. By the way, I think I saw some people saying that, where's Warren Sharp? Warren Sharp, we're going to try to get him on later this year.
The problem is he does have a podcast with a competing betting company. So we love Warren Sharp.
All good. We fucking love him.
I talked to him about it. We're going to try to figure out a way.
No bad feelings or anything like that.

We truly like him.

Friends with him.

Everything.

It's just, you know, we're pushing out new states and we're trying to, we're in a very

competitive business.

All right.

So, Jaguars, Texans, Pete Prisco, what I was going to say, Pete Prisco nailed it when he

was like the Texans.

They've got a lot of professionals.

I forgot Lovie Smith was their defensive coordinator. They got a lot of professionals.
They play professional football. That's what you got to say.
These guys, they get paid to play too. Yep.
Okay. On Sunday.
They're putting tape out there. They are.
They have pride in their jobs. So David Cully, good job.
Great job. Tyrod Taylor, good job.
Tyrod. Tyrod Taylor, good job.
Both of you, good job. I actually think that Tyrod is the best quarterback ever that you can have on a shitty team.
Yeah. That's your guy.
If you have a bad football team, get Tyrod in there. He'll win you a couple games that you shouldn't.
Yeah, he won't be that great, but everyone expects you to lose anyways. That also might be your guy, but yeah.
What, Fitzpatrick? Yeah. True.
Just describe Fitzpatrick. Well, imagine rooting for Tyrod Taylor and the Texans this year Yeah.
What, Fitzpatrick? Yeah. True.
You just described Fitzpatrick. Well, imagine rooting for Terod Taylor and the Texans this year, and then he gets hurt right off the bat.
But he can come in, he can make some fucking plays. Listen, I feel for Texans fans because they were the butt of every joke made by us, including, going into this season.
A lot of them. But Terod, he's a nice quarterback to have.
He's a professional quarterback. He is a professional quarterback.
And he's the guy, he's the, what do you call it? There was a movie about, like, a bad luck. Was it Good Luck Chuck or something? The guy that you date before you find your next guy? Jared Goff.
Jared Goff. Yeah.
That's what Terod Taylor is. Got it.
When you're looking for a quarterback in the future. Yes.
If you have Terod on your team, the next guy up like last year, people forget. Terod Taylor is 12 months removed from getting stabbed in the ribs by a needle.
Yes. Which gave Justin Herbert his first start ever.
Excuse me, stabbed in the lung. And then before that, he was on the Browns where Baker Mayfield took over.
So maybe whoever the Texans get in next, maybe he's next maybe he's the guy by the way that Jared Goffler that was Chris Collinsworth and Sean McVay not me I love Jared yeah so Trevor Lawrence I'm actually not on the Trevor Lawrence as a bust I'm in the camp of the Jaguars are going to ruin Trevor Lawrence and it starts with with Urban Meyer. Urban Meyer, 11 penalties, 3 turnovers.
And Urban Meyer, remember how in the... Trevor Lawrence didn't look good.
He looked bad, right? Bust. Bust, in your mind.
Again, I think it's the generous. I'm more of the mindset that it's fun to say that Trevor Lawrence is a bust.
He had 3 interceptions. He never had 3 interceptions at Clemson.
He never faced adversity at Clemson. First regular season loss of his life.
Wow. Including high school and college.
Wow. But my point is, Urban Meyer, you spent all of training camp splitting reps between Trevor Lawrence and Gardner Minshew to pretend that Gardner Minshew had a shot at the job.
Maybe you should have given the guy that was going to start all along your fucking franchise quarterback that you went one, one pick with maybe you should have given him more reps and maybe you should have had your team ready to play. I, this urban Meyer thing.
I don't know. Yeah, they were bad.
They were bad. They looked bad.
They looked undisciplined. And I, we've heard the reports that people are like, yeah, it kind of sucks to have to play for a guy like Urban Meyer in pro.
So who knows? Before the game started, Jason Lockett and Fora, and it is Jason Lockett and Fora, so as far as trust-wise goes, he's like one step above your uncle on Facebook. Right.
He came out with a report that said— One step below your aunt. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. The stuff that they get.
I trust my aunt more than I trust Jason Luck and Fora, but I trust him more than I trust my uncle. So he came out with a report that said Urban Meyer is everyone on edge and that the vibes around the Jacksonville facility are at an all-time low before the season even starts, before week one, and that everyone hates him already.
I believe it. I choose to believe it, again, because it's fun right to believe that it's true but that report is definitely out there i could see like there people were talking about how urban meyer was freaking out over preseason loss and probably already sleeping at the facility yep and probably already like cruise he's at least typed in webmd into his browser he's done the hustle he might not have hit enter on it yet but he's typed it he did hustle and hydrate and practice which is always fun to tell professionals that are making millions of dollars that they need to drink water and and hydrate to go drink water that's what chip kelly's downfall was he was checking the piss of professional players he can go back to ucla and look at all the urine he wants yeah all right let's go to the afternoon slate browns chiefs so we got four more games then we'll get to the rest of the who's back and football guy that we can send you on your way browns chiefs uh browns have won one week one game since 1999 they're 121 and one patrick mahomes now 11 and 0 in september this was an inevitable The Browns looked good.
They looked really good, actually. They had a great game plan.
It's just Patrick Mahomes. And I thought about it.
It must be so fucking awesome to root for Patrick Mahomes and root for the Chiefs and have him as your quarterback. And I know that there's obviously, like, Hank can speak to it, you know, rooting for Tom Brady.
There's, you know, Packers fans, I'm sure, love rooting for Aaron Rodgers at times when he's not being surly. But there's something about Patrick Mahomes where we all just – we've seen it so many times now that, oh, we're down nine points.
Okay, well, why don't we just do a 75-yard touchdown pass to Tyreek Hill? Yeah. Like, it just – that you are never out of it, and you're not only never out of it in, like, the way that Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, you're never out of it where they can do a big drive.
You're never out of it, and you're never out of it by, like, one play. It's just always there.
I think the Chiefs have the offense that can score the most points in NFL history in the time that it takes you to go to the bathroom and take a shit during the third quarter and come back and then be like, what the hell happened here? They are, the joke that people use on Twitter, like run the touchdown play, they actually do run the touchdown. So it's funny that you say the run the touchdown play thing because I think that the Chiefs are the easiest team in the league to live tweet their games, not watching their games, and just be as basic as possible.
So all you have to do is just do Patrick Mahomes, still good. Or Tyreek Hill, you are ridiculous.
Tyreek Hill, deuces. Deuces, yeah.
Travis Kelsey, beast. This lead is safe, said no one ever.
Thanks for coming out, Chiefs. Yeah, exactly.
You can get... Which I did use because I needed them for the Kent Lewis Parlay, which did win plus 300.
No big deal. You can get super basic with the Chiefs because it does happen week in and week out where it's just you can set your watch.
If they haven't run the touchdown play in the first quarter, they'll run it in the second quarter. I know this is a cell phone because everyone's like, well, the Bears could have had...
Cell phone? Cell phone? Cell phone. I know this is a cell phone because everyone's like, oh well, the Bears could have had cell phone.
Cell phone. I know this is a cell phone because everyone would be like, oh, Patrick Mahomes could have had him on the Bears.
I don't care. I'm at the point now because now that we're moved on to the next quarterback after, I just like watching him play, and I'm sitting there being like, man, it must be so awesome to be a Chiefs fan.
And I'm sure there will be Chiefs fans that will reply to us tomorrow and be like yep it is but god damn it that 75 yard touchdown obviously the punt kind of you know that was really the play that that that changed the game officially but that they're down 29 20 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter and like all right let's run the touchdown play Tyree kill 75 yard touchdown easy and speaking of that punt that's why you don't want a jacked up punter yeah you never want a jacked up kicker or punter because if they lift enough weights they start to think that they're a football player and they start to think that they can run with the ball for a first down yep and jamie gillum like that was first of all it's just a botch is he scottish he's scottish the scottish hammer and don't trust him don't trust him he's too. But you know what? It's not just that he's strong.
I think you can be strong and be a punter and still be good. But if you post pictures of your workouts and stuff, then you start thinking that you're an actual football player.
That's where it becomes a problem when you drop it and then you pick it up and try to run for a first down. Yes.
That's where it gets to be an issue. I also think that there is some truth to Odell Beckham being addition by some trackers.
100% true. The Browns looked awesome today, with the exception of that fumble by Nick Chubb, who, by the way, is wearing gloves.
I like him better when he's just going skin on skin with the ball. But besides that, the Browns' offense looked really, really good today.
I'm always a Browns fan I know that they're probably like freaking out like I hope that this doesn't damage like whatever momentum we have going because they probably should have won this game but you're a good team you went toe to toe with the Kansas City Chiefs and truly like punch for punch in their in their place against Patrick Mahomes who again has not lost in the month of September. So yeah, if you're a Browns fan, it sucks to lose

your opening game yet again,

but that was definitely, I

walked away being like, the Browns are for

real, and the Chiefs

essentially defensive plan is

just, let's just have Chris Jones

do something sick, like two or three times

a game, because he kind of changed

the game with two or

three plays on the defensive side, where they were getting gashed, oh okay he's got a big sacker he's got a big tackle and they can get back in the game how did Jadavion Clowney do today I didn't hear his name called I just saw him a couple times also both uniforms were so bright they were very bright I don't know if it was the TV let's see Jadavion Clowney that is the oldest I've ever sounded his TV is so bright I don't see Jadavion Clowney. That is the oldest I've ever sounded.
His TV is so bright. I don't see Jadavion Clowney.
So he had a good play. Oh, wait.
He had four. He had a tackle for loss today.
Oh, okay. There you go.
Good job, Jadavion. Good job.
Still in the league. All right.
Dolphins Patriots. Hank, let's talk.
Mack Jones looked good. It actually is a very funny game because we talked about it with Zach Taylor.
The difference between winning and losing is so small that if Damian Harris doesn't fumble the ball, Tua, that fucking pick he threw with like eight minutes left in the game where he was just wheeling around and threw it up in the air to no one, he's the one who gets all the blame. I thought Mac Jones was good, though.
What did you think? Yeah, I don't think Mac Jones is going to be catching blame. I thought I was refreshed to see what he did.
He didn't have any crazy plays, but he managed the game well. Had them in a position.
Oh, no, no, no, Hank. He had a crazy play.
He had a very crazy play. Coming to the Hoboken house, I missed the first drive of the game.
I walked in there like, you missed the craziest play. It was crazy.
Well, it was because he's never seen pressure in his life. He threw a bounce pass, like a chest bounce pass that you'd see in basketball backwards.
Yeah. But he had him in a position to win the game with a field goal or a touchdown with like a minute left.
So that's all you can really ask for. The other thing I noticed watching this game, and I'm sure there's probably advanced stats that could back me up or tell me I'm wrong, but Tua throws left more than any other quarterback throws to their dominant hand.
He can't throw to the right. I like that.
Interesting. All of his passes were to the left.
I'm still not a believer in Tua. He's like a basketball player.
He was better today. Make him go right.
I thought he looked okay today. He looked okay, but that pick was an inexcusable pick that you can't have.
It's not like he's a rookie anymore. What is he, a year two, three, two? Tua.
Tua. Yeah, I mean, I guess so.
He still is very young, so maybe you can't have that throw. Either way, that would have cost them the game.
Their first drive of the game and their first drive of the second half was their best drives. Other than that, the defense was good.
I thought it was interesting that they were putting Jacoby Brissett in Fortua. I don't know what skill set Jacoby had.
It was for sneaks, but also they had him drop back a couple times. They had him in not necessarily a short yardage.
He looks a little healthy. Let me ask you this, Hank.
How many Super Bowls is Mac Jones going to win for you? Conservatively, three. I was going to say you're going to say three.
Three plus, though, is probably what I would expect. Anything less than three, disappointment? Yeah.
Would you say Dynasty officially back on? Yeah. Okay.
Well, you've got to win the first one. You've got to win one game to say Dynasty back on.
You've got to win one Super Bowl. Oh, got it, got it, got it.
Do you think they beat the Jets next week? Yeah, absolutely. Yes.
Yeah, for sure. One thing I noticed though...
Nice try, Billy. I don't know.
Really? Okay. One thing I noticed in the crowd in New England is there's probably still like 50% of New England Patriots fans are still wearing Tom Brady jerseys to the game.
You think that that's still good to do? Because in my mind, you stop wearing the jersey until he retires, and then he's a patriot again. I think he's a patriot for life no matter what.
It's one of those things. He's literally not a patriot right now, though.
Yeah, but it's like people – Tom Brady won his first Super Bowl. I was eight years old.
When he won his last Super Bowl with the Patriots, I was like 26. It's crazy how time works.
My entire life is with him, so it's like one of those things is you should always support him. I don't know.
What are you going to say, Billy? If there was a promotion where you could switch your Tom Brady jersey for a Mac Jones jersey, do you think they'd do it? I'm sure some people would. Like that with Aaron Hernandez.
Yeah, buyback program. Or like with a firearm.
Let's play our favorite game, Guess the Spread. Ooh, I like this.
I'm pretty good at this. Patriots, guess the spread.
Are way too early. In New York.
In New York. Patriots minus six and a half.
No, Patriots minus nine. Whoa.
Four. Four is correct.
Oh, wow. Four is correct.
I'm a little rusty. That now makes me think the Jets are going to cover.
Because I saw four and I was like, what? That doesn't make any sense. Yeah.
Vegas zone. Because if you look up Bill Belichick against a rookie quarterback, I actually have no idea what the answer would be, but I assume that.
But he's got a rookie quarterback. But it sounded cool when I started saying Bill Belichick dominates rookie quarterback.
Bill Belichick. There's no idea if it's correct.
You should have just finished. Bill Belichick versus a rookie quarterback.
He's 22-2. Yeah.
That sounds right. That would not surprise me.
Jake, you're the only winner today. Any thoughts? Yeah, Dolphins have won two out of three in Foxborough.
Before that, they haven't won since the Wildcat-Ronnie Brown game. Now two out of three.
Floors effect. Are you saying it's Miami North now? No, I wouldn't say that.
Okay, you're too good of a sportsmanship. two games Broncos Giants I'm officially giving up on Daniel Jones I am ridding myself of ever thinking he's going to be good at some point you are what you are and that fumble that he had they were losing anyway he had his 30thumble today.
He's been playing for less than three years, full-time as a starter. But basically, they were down 10.
They were driving first and 10 on the 20-yard line, and he fumbles at the Broncos 12. You just can't have it.
So I just think he just will never not fumble. And Joe Judge, you're an idiot.
He tries to challenge a touchdown and gets a timeout taken away. He has to make himself run a lap for that.
That's the rule that we talked about with Calvin Johnson, where how all these bad calls, all these really unlucky circumstances happen to the Lions. That was one of the ones that I think Jim Schwartz had when he was up in Detroit.
But that's a rookie head coach mistake, is to try to challenge that touchdown play. It's his second year.
It's your second year, Joe Jones. It's Daniel Jones' third year.
You gotta know. And Daniel Jones has 30 fumbles in 28 games.
He's the first quarterback to do that since Tony Banks, like 1994. That was per Cam, pardon my take, per pro football focus.
He's bad. Yeah, he's bad.
He he's bad and he loses the ball a lot if your best asset is that you look like a distant relative of eli manning that's not that's not a plus no no so he's uh yeah i'm done with that and then vic fangio the defense is back teddy bridgewater is the i feel like we won that debate with pete prisco yep teddy bridgewater is the perfect because Locke would have thrown an interception in this game that would have gotten the Giants back in the game. It's funny because if you listen back to that conversation about Drew Locke or Teddy Bridgewater we were just we were talking past each other in the most hypothetical situation.
Well if Drew Locke throws like a hundred yard touchdown pass wouldn't you want that? Right. Yeah he might throw like a bad interception the first quarter.
We were just doing all hypotheticals, but the reality is I think Teddy Bridgewater is a much more consistent, good quarterback. And they have a good defense.
Vaughn Miller's back. Vic Fangio's a great defensive coach.
They have dudes. They played great defense.
They took care of the ball. Teddy Bridgewater did his thing, and they won easily.
And Teddy looks so cool when he's wearing the two gloves with the short sleeves because later on in the year, you get the Teddy two gloves, but it doesn't pop as much with the long sleeves. He looked awesome today.
And also, Teddy's that guy where you have to say, like, what a nice guy. You have to root for him because his knee exploded.
And also his name's Teddy. His name's Teddy.
You can't be mad at Teddy. Right, right.
All right, I think that's it. Was that all the games? Yeah, that's it.
Oh, wait. Hang on.
Speaking of quarterbacks we were right about. Wait, did Aaron Rodgers retire? Because I'm seeing it right now.
It says Saints 38, Packers 3. So he retired, right? It's a shame, Big Cat, that you're choosing to lead off this game with talking about how bad Aaron Rodgers played.
No, I have to. And not how great Jameis Winston was.
Well, I mean, big news. Aaron Rodgers retired.
I think he's still playing, but he's technically retired mentally. He's checked out.
I would say retired. He's checked out.
I have a stat for you real quick. Aaron Rodgers had 28 attempts, 133 yards, zero touchdowns, and two interceptions.
He had a 36.8 rating. If he had just thrown all 28 passes into the ground, he would have had a higher rating.
He would have been a 39.6. Love it.
So Tim Tebow would have actually been a perfect quarterback. Andy Dalton was better than Aaron Rodgers today.
Yeah. That's a fact.
Aaron Rodgers does stink in Florida, historically, though. He hates the state.
I don't think he wants to play anymore. I don't think he wants to be in that state.
I think he's done. I think he just doesn't want to play anymore.
I think the Packers shouldn't have cut Blake Bortles. Yep.
We put a curse on that. Curse of Blake Bortles.
Okay, now Jameis. Jameis kicked the shit out of the Packers.
That was... He's everything.
He is. He is everything.
Five touchdowns, what, 150 yards passing? That's just efficiency. And yeah, sure, one of them was like a little shovel pass, but whatever.
Who cares? Whatever. And then he had an unbelievable sound clip after where he said, they asked him about the game, and he's like, well, it's like my trainer always says, wait, what did my trainer say? Oh yeah, he said to be prepared.
That was a – put the clip in. Can you put it in, Hank? How did the defense in the running game give overall shape to the way this played out, Jameis? I just think we were prepared.
You know, one thing my trainer, he told me, he said – what did he say? He just told us to be prepared. That was – that's Jameis.
It's probably for the best that Jameis forgot what his trainer, if it's the same trainer that's like, hey, go throw a wiffle ball into a lacrosse stick in a wind tunnel full of hummingbirds. Yeah.
It's probably for the best that you're not hanging on every word that guy's telling you. Hey Jameis, I got this dog and I'm going to whip you with a towel and this dog's going to chase you around.
Well, also, my wife over here, she's going to have some boxing gloves and try to punch you in the face. See if you can get your pass off.
Jameis Winston trains like he's shooting trick shots with Brad Johnson. Yeah, he's part of Dude Perfect.
Yeah, he is part of Dude Perfect. Is Dude Perfect without the shot? It's actually, it's soft core porn.
There's no insertion. You don't get to actually see the shot go in.
You just get to see everything, all the weird shit in your backyard that makes the cool trick shot. Which is why we love James.
He's kind of a spaz. And when he was running with the ball today, he runs like Forrest Gump.
Like straight, completely upright. He looks like he's shitting himself while sprinting at the same time.
But he gets results. And guess what? You can't argue with results.
Five touchdowns. Five touchdowns.

Five touchdowns.

On pace for 85 touchdowns this year?

85 touchdowns.

That would be a record.

I'll have to check it in the official record books.

Aaron Rodgers on pace for 34 interceptions and zero touchdowns.

I got some bad news for you, Big Ed.

What?

You know what the team was last time to get beat 38-3 by the Saints?

Who?

Buccaneers. Week one? Then they won the Super Bowl.
one then they won the super that wasn't week one it wasn't week one fake news that was not week one i remember we were watching in this room same score 38-3 okay that was mid-season and also tom brady had basically a torn mcl yeah tom aaron rogers is healthy as he's ever been this dude i the only wins i get is when the Packers lose. That's all I get.
Don't do this. Please, don't do it.
I think that Sean Payton. It's so hot in here.
Did you see Sean Payton try to mix it up with Taysom Hill today? I think what Sean Payton's trying to do with Taysom Hill is just time out when Jameis' weird plays are going to be. Yeah.
Because there's no real rhyme or reason for when he's putting Taysom into the game. It's just like he gets a sense like Jameis is about to do something fucking stupid right now.
Right. I'm just going to put Taysom in there and we just won't have a turnover on this play.
Yes. Because if you can take, they always say, if you can eliminate the bad plays for Jameis Winston, I think that Sean Payne's just like riding that spidey sense.
He's like, I think I can actually literally remove the bad plays from Jameis Winston. Packers suck.
Aaron Rodgers retired. Whether you believe it or not, Packers fans, Aaron Rodgers has mentally retired from the Green Bay Packers.
I saw it with my own two eyes. He's mentally retired.
No chance does this come back and haunt me, this clip. It is so hot in here.
We've got it up. Clap it up.
I'm looking at Hank. I think he might pass out.
I'm starting to feel lightheaded. It is so hot in here.
It's 124 in the morning. No big deal.
I was just about to say, we're not recording this part, but it is 124. It's 124.
Alright, so do. Clap it up for us.
Clap it up for us. We also don't have water bottles.

We don't have water bottles.

We're going to do – let's do some –

Just switch out.

Remind us.

Dehydrated.

Let's talk some college football on Wednesday's show.

Just briefly, Ohio State, they did punt from their opponents 33

and then lost to Oregon.

And Florida State.

And Florida State with an all-time loss.

But, Jake, remind us we'll do that for brevity today.

And also, I actually think one of us might pass out. I am really lightheaded.
Alright, let's do Football Guy of the Week and then we'll finish up with who's back in the week. Should we just go shirts off for Football Guy of the Week? Football Guy of the Week.
Sweaty. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. Billy, Football Guys of the Week.
Our first Football Guys of the Week nominee is Jack Cohen. Jack Cohen popped his finger out.
It's Cohen. Jack Cohen.
It is Yom Kippur Sayville, New York

Long Island product

He was

He popped his finger out

Went ran over to the sideline

Popped it back in

Ran back out

Threw a touchdown

That's just grit

Can't teach that

That's like an injury

That you have to be around

Football for a while

To be able to self-diagnose

Because I think

Any normal human

Would be like

My finger is

Like I'm dead

My finger is extremely fractured

But if you've just seen

Other guys get it popped in

You can like mentally

Get past that

I don't know. any normal human would be like my finger is like i'm dead my finger is extremely fractured but if you've just seen other guys get it popped in yeah you can like mentally get past that i also like to point out hank took his shirt off hank's looking good dude that woman trainer yeah hank are we doing september one beer a week look at how much sweat i have on my arms fuck all right here we go Yeah, football guy week two.
No, I'm doing sober September. Sober?

Yeah. how much sweat I have on my arms.
Fuck. All right, here we go.
Football guy week two. No.
I'm doing sober September. Sober? Yeah, or get pulled over.
PFT said on the way to the car today, he goes, he was like, I went out in Hoboken on Saturday. He's like, that's probably the last time I drank on a Saturday in the football season in September.
Yeah, it's all one sentence. He was texting me.
He out. I was like, I'm trying not to drink all September.
And he's like, I'm doing September starting at 7 p.m. tonight.
As he was saying it, he realized what he was saying, and he was like, wait, in September. September, I call it September because you take it easy.
I'm going to have a couple Friday drinks occasionally. It was just like a 30-second run on Santa.
Yeah, right. He just didn't stop.
He kept on going. In September, on the weekends, specifically those Sundays.
All right. Number two.
Number two is Sean Elliott, the head coach of Georgia State. He was mobbing up with his players before the game, ripped a guy's helmet off,

was just in the mosh pit with him all game.

They did lose, but he was getting pumped up with his boys.

Yeah, I like that.

Mad respect.

Next one, Robert Salah running the, whatchamacallum?

Stairs.

Stairs in the stadium before the game.

Yep.

Again, it's very hot. It's hot.

It's hot. It's 110.
Also, are we sure his name's... No, it's not.
No, it's not. Go ahead.
It doesn't matter. I'm sorry for even bringing it up.
And then our last one... Cut up some slack.
Is it... Every time I say Saleh, then you know you say Saleh.
No, that's also not right. Salah.
Saleh. Salah? Salah.
You guys keep telling me I'm wrong when I say Salah So now the only other option is to say Salah Say Say Okay No it's the last one Salah Salah Last one We've got Salah Money, money And Robert Fornillo And we've got Coutillo. This one was highly submitted.
I'm not entirely sure if this is a football guy move, but Will Hall, the head coach of the University of Southern Mississippi, said regarding his next game, I'm not excited. My life is on the line.
I thought it might not be a football guy move to be excited about a game, but also it's a matter of life or death for him. So very, very.
Also, there was a baby born in the tunnel of a Southern Miss game this weekend. Oh, wow.
Maybe not actually born, but I know that the woman's water broke and there was a big scene and then she might have gotten to the hospital, but that's a football baby. I think, yeah, shout out to that mom for going.
I guess Mississippi is really the only state that you would expect at. Yeah.
If you're nine months and two weeks pregnant, guess what? You're still going to be Klanga. Hell yeah.
What about Shiano Man? Shiano Man has Rutgers at 2-0. 2-0.
Also, he took the name off the back of their jersey and then put a second name on the front on the back. So everybody's name was Rutgers on the back this week.
Love it. Huge move by Shiano.
Yeah. All right.
Good job, Billy. Yeah.
All right. Go vote on it.
Also, shout out to Daniel Ricciardo, who won. We got to get him back on the show.
Did a shooey. Push, push for stopping.
1-2. Hamilton got in an accident, and that's F1.
That's top. Big week for Aston Martin.
He didn't watch the second of it. Football's back.
What about he sent us a party shirt, right? Yep. Daniel Ricciardo sent us a party shirt.
I'm not going to say where it's from. I don't want to ruin the allure.
Urban Outfitters. I was a little disappointed.
Pots of shit. Yeah, I was just like, what is this? Maybe that's like his first ever party shirt I don't know we have a party shirt though from him alright let's finish up yeah I know it sucked I was a little bummed out I was a little bummed out can you bleep that out yeah bleep it I don't want to leave out words from alright let's finish up we got who's back of the week to end the show by the way Wednesday Carmelo Anthony you saw the book on the table.
If you were watching, go subscribe to the podcast or subscribe to the YouTube. We're going to get to 300,000.
PFT's going to show us his awesome eyes. Subscribe-a-thon, sub-a-thon.
Carmelo Anthony was an awesome, awesome interview. We had him for an hour.
Hour. It was great.
It wasn't that hot in here, too. Okay.
Who's back's back in the week brought to you by Cash App. Go download the Cash App right now.
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That is who's back. The Cash App.

Okay. Hank.

My who's back is Conor McGregor.

Oh. He was at

the VMA's tonight in Brooklyn. So that's

the important thing to note. Something about Conor McGregor and the Barkley Center just gets him all hot and bothered.
He got in a fight with Machine Gun Kelly. There's a video of him taking a full cup of Pepsi or drink and just throwing it at him, but in the process hitting all the photographers and security people around him.
No one knows what they were fighting about, but Conor McGregor's back talking shit, trying to fight Machine Gun Kelly at a VMA award. Who wins in a fight, Machine Gun Kelly or Conor McGregor? Now, bear in mind, Machine Gun Kelly is a foot taller than Conor McGregor.
But also skinnier than Conor McGregor, like less pounds. But he's all elbows.
Yep. And reach does matter in these type of things.

So I feel like probably MGK.

Also, he's got Travis Barker on his back.

So I feel like Travis Barker could absolutely whip some ass.

And the idea that Megyn Kelly might leave him.

Fox.

Megyn Fox.

Fox.

Megyn Kelly, that would be a power combo.

Who's Megyn Kelly?

The Fox?

Oh, that's confusing.

Yeah.

Well, no, she's...

She's...

Megyn Kelly's the Fox.

No, she's... Megyn Fox is the...
Margot Robbie. Now she's Megan NBC.
And Megan NBC. There was reports that Conor McGregor was asking for a photo, and then MGK said no, and that's what caused the whole thing.
I feel like that's something that MGK's camp would put out. Yeah.
I don't see Conor McGregor being like, hey, MGK, big fan.

Or fan of Megan.

Yeah, can I get a photo of Megan?

Can I get a nude photo of Megan is what he was asking for.

All right.

PFT.

All right, breaking news real quick.

The Patriots are a perfect 13-0 against rookie quarterbacks at home.

Hell yes.

I knew that sounded right.

Also, Robert Griffin III still thinks that Jameis Winston crab jokes are funny. He's made several of those today.
Yeah. They're not.
He made one mistake. Did you read the tweet? It's all time funny.
Yeah, he says, so after beating – this is from Robert Griffin III. After beating Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, Jameis Winston is now requesting strategy meetings with the Saints brass and demanding five crab legs, one for every touchdown he threw, but be placed in his locker every day for consumption since he ate a W.
This is like your dad sending you a forward, forward, forward email. And they check this out.
Did you hear about Jameis Winston? He asked for crab legs from the Saints brass. So he can eat a W.
RG3 also said earlier that people are going to get mad at Jameis for proving the doubters wrong and playing lights out. Makes the fact that when he gets paid, he will be accused of stealing money that was earned and given to him like he was accused of stealing crab legs.
Oh, my God. That were given to him because of his play at FSU.
He really thinks this crab leg thing is the funniest thing ever. Really hammering it.
Yeah. All right.
PFT, your who's back. My who's back is Sabermetrics.
Stephen A. Smith, he went on, I think there's a TikTok live, and he broke down how many takes he has given over the course of his career.
Listen to Stephen A. Smith do Sabermetrics on himself and the amount of takes that he's had.
...tongue day day and the reality is that we have 15 segments a day 75 segments a week um over 3 000 takes a year in the nine years that i've been on first take i've given over 33 000 takes and what a lot of people don't realize is that not just the work that goes into that but also the fact that it's a chemistry that you have and sometimes it's so 33 000 takes none of them have been the same none of them they've never talked about the same thing like snowflakes they are never talked about the same thing on his shows and on multiple days just because you know baker's dozen of those takes happened to involve him listing players that haven't played on that team for the last three years. Correct.
It's irrelevant. It's immaterial to the discussion.
Yep. And nothing changes the fact that Stephen A.
Smith has given over 33,000 takes in his career. Oh, my God.
I love it. How many takes do you think we've given? I'd be shocked if it was...
How many per show?

That's a good question.

I think we'd give 20 to 50 takes per show.

Multiplied by like 550 something.

Let's say 100 takes a week.

So, yeah, I don't know.

I can't do math. 500 a year.

No, we've given...

I couldn't do math anyway.

We've given over 3,000 takes on this show. 3,000? 3,000 takes on this show.
Sounds about right. More? More? Probably more.
Probably more. But yeah, shout out to Stephen A.
Smith doing live calculations of the amount of takes. Him laughing about the Cowboys.
That's just the best. He's just goaded for that.
All right, my Who's Back of the Week is Cuck fans are officially back because the NFL season just started. And I feel like NFL fans have a special, like, Cuckness to them, which is very, very funny.
NBA fans do it, and it's kind of pathetic. NFL fans do it, and it's like, this is really bizarre.
What do you mean, Cuck fans? Fans that are saying coming in peace as a fan. So I saw this on Twitter.
This came from the Steelers Reddit. It came, so it reads, Ravens fan here, I come in peace.
Who the hell do the Browns think they are? That fan base is so fucking toxic and think they run not only the division but the league. As far as I'm concerned, as the both of us are in this division it will always be ours they have a good team for the first time in decades and think the league is theirs no matter how much i hate you guys if i'm going to war with one team by my side it's the steelers simply because of the great fights put up against us year in and year out.
No matter how bad one of us are, at least Cincy fans know their place and remain somewhat humble. Fuck Cleveland.
Best of luck this year unless you're playing us. That's sad behavior from a Ravens fan.
I want to go to war with you guys. Honestly, that is pathetic behavior if you're a Ravens fan.
Unreal. Coming in peace.
You know, I would say at this point, the Browns live rent-free in that guy's head. Yep.
That's rent-free type behavior. I'd agree.
But the coming in peace is always funny. It's always funny.
Adnan Syed fan here, coming in peace. I hope DeAndre Swift's okay.
It's always, always, always good. Oh, my God.
All right, Billy.

No Jake.

Deep drives to left to make it a 4-0 ball games are back because that's exactly what Nick Castellanos did yesterday.

What?

What was yesterday?

He hit a deep drive to left.

I'm over it.

I think people reach, too.

It's like, I'm so over it.

He hit a home run on September 11th.

Obviously, I don't know.

They're playing games.

I thought it was cooler.

Not cooler, but more ironic that he hit a deep drive to left

Thank you. He had a home run on September 11th.
Obviously, I don't know. They're playing games.
I thought it was cooler, not cooler, but more ironic that he hit a deep drive to left to make it a 4-0 ballgame. Oh, he did exactly that.
Jake is so pure. I love it.
9-11 didn't even enter your brain. Yeah, yeah.
He did all those details. Same direction, same score.
That was yesterday? Yeah. Okay.
I do agree, though. It's kind of weird.
Every time there's a home run, people jump on Twitter and quick Google. They search for what's the most recent tragedy.
I hope there was a mass shooting today so I can take a screenshot of this Castellanos tweet and put it next to the news. Talking about no one in particular.
No one in particular. It's going to eventually, unfortunately, get to a point where he hits a home run and then someone has to go commit a murder just so that they can get it in the news.
I wouldn't put a fast meme. Memes is like, fuck.
I can't find anything. He shoots up the office.
He's like, this is a tragedy. Yeah, he's like that Gallen Hall movie.
What is it? Nightcrawler? Yeah. Their Gallen Hall movie? Yeah.
That's going to be me. Right.
Fuck. The debate for Tennis Goat is back, though, because we still have a three-way tie because Djokovic.
It's NFL Sunday. Yeah.
No one. What happened? I don't know.
I just saw some highlight of someone smashing a racket. He choked.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked so hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked hard.
He choked hard. He choked Federer's never done it.
And Nadal's never done it. Good.
Yeah, but exactly. Djokovic could have had it.
Yeah, but Djokovic's sets are the straightest sets of them all. Yeah.
Yeah. Fact.
You know what? He finished so fast. Not a Patino joke.
He was probably trying to watch the end of the Chiefs-Browns game. That's a football guy.

That's a fact.

Djokovic loves football.

He loves football.

He loves Patrick Mahomes.

He'd actually probably be more Josh Allen guy. He was probably live tweeting in between sets.

Wow, the Chiefs really said no one ever.

Yeah.

Thanks for coming out, Chiefs.

Yeah, so Jake, I don't know what you're talking about.

He's a joke. You're a joke.
He's a joke know what you're talking about he's a joke you're a joke he's a joke you're a joke he's a joke you're a joke he's a fucking joke you're a joke I think hey oh Hank almost won no alright Big Cat won you're a joke you're a joke you're a joke I'm like that ref in boxing Billy we're all punch all punch drunk. You're a joke.
I didn't say it. I doubled it.
I doubled it. That was extra.
No, because you waited so long to counter. That's how much of a joke you are.
That was a pin. Big Cat just pinned you.
Put it up. Three points.
Also, count all those as individual takes given on this show. On who's a joke.
Joke rich being a joke? Yeah Yeah, no, that's another take. Nice try.
You're a joke. I knew what you're saying.
Joke. Billy.
I think Billy has no idea what's going on. Who's back of the week is handball.
Handball is back. If you haven't, go subscribe to our YouTube.
If we get to 300K subscribers, PFT is going to be taking off his glasses. I went and played in the handball tournament uh just like to test it out because everyone talks shit about handball i actually went and did it uh the handball community actually give me a little creds because i'm the only person to talk shit about it and then go do it i don't care that sounds pretty cool the handball community yeah wow yeah the handball community is pretty yeah what do they both say so to check it out i'm gonna out, we're going to be dropping a video on Tuesday.
I'm going to stop talking shit now.

I've never talked shit about something that I have no intention of doing,

but I can definitely beat an alligator in a fight.

Alligators are kind of small.

Okay, go ahead.

Keep going.

But yeah, we're going to be dropping the video.

It'll be cool.

Oh, that's good. Don't know what time exactly.

When did you tape this?

I did it before Grit Week, but everything's been crazy and stuff, so we're finally getting it out. Got it.
Shout out Nick Fasoli for coming with me. Nice.
When was it? Three weeks ago. Four weeks ago.
We've been watching football. It was definitely July.
It was, yeah, it was. It was like before July 4th.
I'm excited for this, though.

I actually forgot about it.

Now I'm excited.

Yeah, I mean, it's my first.

It doesn't matter.

Hopefully people like it.

Billy, we give Billy shit, but he took time on a Saturday.

Yeah, you can't just rush these things.

No, he went on a Saturday, his own time.

He went and did it.

He joined the handball community.

He asked before if he can go.

I was like, fuck yeah, this is awesome. You should do it.
So initiative is great uh i'm excited for the video when's it come out in a couple months tuesday i literally tried to learn how to edit videos to like get out faster i would have loved that to just to be you should have made the video about you learning how to edit videos it's so hard shout out all video. Shout out all video editors.
You know who you are. Even the ones that are a joke.
Yeah, and lacrosse. Chris Hogan scored for the Saints.
Hank's a joke. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. And Jack Cohn also.
You're just doing your football guys again. No, but he, like, I'm saying lacrosse.
They're talking about lacrosse again. Jack Cohn was also committed to Notre Dame for lacrosse originally.
Carmelo Anthony on Wednesday. We will touch on college football on Wednesday as well.
You have some things I want to talk about, especially Ryan Day punting from Oregon's 33. You guys have had probably about 26,000 takes.
Whoa. 100 takes a week.
Yeah. 52 weeks a year.
Yep. Five years.
Add it all up, 26K. Good math, Billy.
Great. All right, give me a number eight.
Do you have anything else, Billy? Any wrap-up? The Jets kicker came in for their punter and had a 65-yard punt. That's pretty dope.
Oh, that is pretty dope. Why'd he come in? Because the punter got hurt Oh

And he was wearing a gold necklace

I like that

Yeah

That was Amendola right?

Yeah two M's

Yeah

Oh

Idiot

Sam Darnold looking sneaky slim

That's pretty much all I got

97

8

6

It's so goddamn hot

18

It's too hot in here

The Tasmanian Tiger

Wasn't actually a Tiger but they were tigers to me. 41? 41.
Jake, do we have a score agami this week? No, we had a rare agami. Okay.
We had one game that had only happened once before, but doesn't count. What about twice? I think Falcons-Eagles was four times, so two close ones.
A quad rare Agami? Yeah. Love you guys.
I'm talking away. I don't know what to say.
I'd say it anyway. Today is another day to find you shy away.
I'll be coming for you, lover king. Lover king, lover king.
Lover king, lover king. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
I'll be gone. Dream of the E-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O-R-O Thank you.
Take me on me. I'm out.