Former NFL GM Mike Tannenbaum, Football Is Back + Mt Rushmore Of Pizza Toppings

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have former GM of the Jets and former vice president of football ops for the Dolphins, Mike Tannenbaum, same guy.

He now works for ESPN.

He was in person, great interview, a little different because it was a lot of inside the NFL, how a front office works.

I'm going to go back to basics with our Mount Rush rushmore so we did a couple outside the box now we're coming back down down the fairway here with mount rushmore of pizza toppings we're going to do all of that in a second ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10 off your first order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in Ariat Work Gear. Okay, let's go.
It's part of my take presented by Marshall sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by Coors Light.
The beer made to chill. It's the beer for the summer.
Send us those Blue Mountains. It is the weekend.
It is Friday, August 6th, and football is officially back. We got football, baby.
We're recording this earlier in the day. It's 1210 in the afternoon.
Yes. But I can tell you what happened at the Hall of Fame game tonight already.
Ben Roethlisberger was there. Yes.
He was on the sidelines. Sunflower seeds? Sunflower.
No. Gum.
Gum. Actually, no.
Jerky. Gum.
How about it would be like Kung Pao chicken flavored gum. It might have just been Kung Pao chicken.
He might have had just a PF smoothie. Just a mixture of all the appetizers blended into one creamy drink.
But Ben was on the sidelines. He looked.
Some people think that he looked good tonight. Yes.
So when people shit on the first preseason games and the Hall of Fame game, they don't realize what this does for us. Tonight is all about just getting your eyes used to the colors on the screen, a ball moving back and forth, the helmets, the score, all that stuff.
We know the game stinks. I think the over-under was like 32.5 tonight.
We know that the Hall... Take me over.
The Hall of Fame game has changed where it used to be you'd get maybe like a series of the starters. Now we get nothing.
We get like all backups all the time. And I get it.
I understand it. It's about just getting yourself in the motion.
Feeling like it's a practice swing. It's not even a practice swing.
It's looking at the pitcher, timing the pitcher mentally from the dugout. The practice swings are like week three of the preseason.
This is going to be important tonight for a couple reasons. One, we get Gucci DiNucci back on the field.
It's actually better. I like the fact that we've got Ben DiNucci playing quarterback tonight because it feels like he's a starting quarterback in a weird way because we did see him start a primetime game last year.
So it's like, oh yeah, this means more. This Hall of Fame year, I recognize that guy.
So we've got Gucci DiNucci, and then we've also got whatever new curveballs that Fox is going to throw at us with the score bugs and the different graphics on screen. This is our first time seeing that.
Is Fox tonight? I think it's on Fox. I was going to say, gets you back to Joe Buck.
Joe Buck? Yeah. And Tom Rinaldi on the number one team.
Love it. Love it.
Is the goose going to be on the sideline? No. Bring him back.
Bring him back to the goose. Aaron Andrews and Tom Rinaldi.
It's fucking disgusting that we have to be begging Fox to put Tony Sir Goosa back on the air. In a small hat.
In a big coat. Just wearing whatever he still has in his closet from when he had his cameo in The Sopranos.
Looking like a bear. Get him back there.
But it is going to be interesting to see what weird flag graphics they have for us. Yep.
Player intros. Get mad about that.
Yeah, it's just stuff to get mad about in the new broadcast. And you know what? It's also stuff where once the actual regular games start happening and people start complaining in week one about the new things,, dude, I was mad about this a month ago.
Listen, you're casual. You miss one very important thing that's happening tonight.
This is time traveling night because the Cowboys are on Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks starts on Tuesday, which we will obviously be reviewing right after the Hard Knocks show.
So we get to watch things happen in the game and be like, Ooh, I bet that's going to be on hard knocks. Usually the first preseason game, you get one guy who's like the 85th guy on the roster who returns a punt.
You're like, Ooh, maybe he'll make the team. Probably won't.
But for at least a little bit, you'll think maybe he'll make the team. But I love trying to figure out what's going to be on Hard Knocks and then seeing it and be like, oh, fuck, it's the verbal meme Leo.
Leo's pointing at the TV being like, I saw that, I remember that. Right, because you get to see it on the fancy cameras.
Yeah, I remember when I saw that in real life. Before you saw it on the television cameras.
Okay, so is Jerry Jones going to be, there are no owner's suites, as far as I know, in this stadium, governor's suites, excuse me. Yep.
So is he going to be on the sideline the entire time, or is he just going to be – there are no owner suites as far as I know in this stadium. Governor suites, excuse me.

So is he going to be on the sideline the entire time or is he just going to be parked in his bus with like a pair of binoculars?

He's got a big party.

He throws a big party I think every Hall of Fame weekend. Huge party, yeah.

He throws a big party every weekend.

Jerry might not be there, but I do think that Mike McCarthy knowing that the Hard Knocks cameras are going to be on him

and he knows that Jerry Jones is going to watch every episode of Hard Knocks

because Jerry's a big flashy TV guy.

I want to go. Mike McCarthy knowing that the Hard Knocks cameras are going to be on him, and he knows that Jerry Jones is going to watch every episode of Hard Knocks because Jerry's a big flashy TV guy.

I want to see what the media is saying about me all the time.

Mike McCarthy, I think, this preseason is going to really kind of let it all hang out.

I would like Mike McCarthy noted watermelon smasher to use it as a preseason,

maybe smash like a single grape before the game.

Yeah, just in between his fingers?

Yeah, just be like, well, look at this, guys.

Make some wine?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Something to think about.

For that reason, I'm going to take the Cowboys in the game tonight

just because I think that McCarthy, he knows that Jerry Jones

has his like Emperor Palpatine breath breathing down his neck all the time.

So he wants to set a tone and he knows that he's on hard knocks.

What's that?

What's that, Hank?

That came out of nowhere. Just because I haven't ever watched star wars doesn't mean i can't make the references yeah fair enough sick reference yeah bro it was a sick reference i've also never watched star wars um all right does he look like emperor falpatine or not yeah no all right it works i was i was just taking it back let me cook over.
No, it was great. I was fully supportive.

All right, so yeah, football's back.

We also, Joe Judge is now, it's an arms race between Joe Judge and Dan Campbell, who can be more hilarious in their football guy-ish characteristics.

So you had Dan Campbell talking about fighting.

You had him talking about like 200 milligrams of caffeine

that he consumes every morning.

It was more than that.

It was insane.

But then Joe Judge comes over the top.

We talked about the scrum, the fight that happened at Giants camp

on Wednesday, I think it was, or Tuesday.

Joe Judge then came out afterwards the next day and he said,

I'm not going to lie, it turned me on a little seeing the guy's that passionate. So he is, and I'm just going to say that he's lying.
It turned him on a lot. Yeah.
Like there's no way it was just a little. No, he's.
He was full mask. He's bonking himself.
So just to fact check your stat a little bit there, Big Cat, you said, what, 200 milligrams? I don't know. I didn't know.
It's 1,100 milligrams of caffeine. That's insane.
I think it would kill them. I don't think there's any way.
No, it would kill most, like, small gorillas. Yeah.
I think that, so 1,100 milligrams of caffeine. We'll put the clip in right there.
Yeah. Okay, put the clip in.
Well, normally what I do is I get two venti. I go to Starbucks and get two venti of the pipe with two shots in them.
So black eye and both. That's what I come in with.
That's how I start the day. So in perspective, like a C4, a C4 energy drink that you drink before a workout, that has 300 milligrams of caffeine.
So this is nearly four C4s that he drinks every morning.

Listen, I believe that

Dan Campbell can process it. I'm going to figure

out how much caffeine I drink a day. If you or

I did it, we would die.

Like literally die.

I just, based off of

Googling how much in a large coffee,

I probably have about

600 milligrams of caffeine a day.

I drink about two large

coffees and a cup of coffee in the morning.

So I'm still halfway

I'm going to the gym, and then I'll drink a cup of coffee at around noon with my lunch. So that brings me to about 500, 450 per day.
So combined, we're not drinking as much as Dan Campbell. Well, combined, we're not drinking as much caffeine as Dan Campbell does before 8 a.m.

Jesus Christ.

Football guy.

Yeah, he's just ready to roll.

I actually think that Dan Campbell would have his testicles replaced with little mini footballs.

Yeah.

Well, depending on how many kids.

If he's done having kids.

Yeah.

Because, you know, that's his team at home.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

You got to. Wife is the coach at the house, you know? You've got to take care of your team at home.
All right, we also have Olympic fever. Where are we at? USA basketball is good again, so that's good.
We have the finals against France. We should smash them.
What are you going to say? Memes, our fact checker in the booth here, just said that the Joe Judge quote is from a fake account.

No!

Everyone ran with it.

Damn.

No, it can't be from a fake account.

There was multiple blue check marks that ran with that.

That sucks.

I'm not going to believe that.

That's one of those ones that even if it's fake,

it's almost like the Waffle House guy.

Even if that's fake, it's good enough that I'm running with it.

I think that it's real.

Yeah.

I saw enough blue checks get duped by it. Hey, Billy.
Billy's here. Billy just walked in.
Thanks for telling me we moved it up. Whoa.
So you come in and you blame us. Hold on.
Hold on. You blame us.
Let's unpack this real quick. So I said 1145.
1 o'clock. No, never.
I thought 1145. Can everyone have my back here? Was this conversation had when I was here? The guy said he had to leave by 1 o'clock.
We said 1 o'clock. never i thought 11 45 and everyone can everyone have my back here conversation had when i was because i had to leave by one o'clock i said noon and then i moved it up 15 minutes and we actually waited till 1207 to start so yeah okay there's a miscommunication wow just well i guess i don't know i came 45 minutes earlier than i thought i was supposed to be here how did you you think we all got? How do you think we all were here, though?

Wait, Pinkcat, you're missing the very important fact that Billy was 45 minutes early to being an hour and a half late.

We weren't even mad.

We were just like, we looked at your last tweet.

No, so I checked.

I was like, I hope Billy's okay.

Let's see what his last tweet was.

And it was, black bears are scared of cats. Did you check the newest one? We waited until before.
Okay, I'm sorry. No, you're fine.
It's okay. I mean, besides the whole saying there was a miscommunication, which was not true.
I'm not mad at you. No, we're not mad.
No, I'm definitely not mad. This is not a beat up on Billy.
We're having a great show. This is actually like 12 hours earlier than we normally take on a Thursday when we sleep after midnight.
Yeah, so you're super early. All good.
If we were in Tokyo, you'd be on time. Time zones, man.
Time zones. Time zones and ooey gooey delivery cookies really messed you up.
We were also thinking that you were just hung over from too many sweets last night.

I did imbibe in some very good cookies last night. Billy, you've been crushing it, so I have

no complaints. Don't worry.
I'm just

more frustrated with myself. That's okay.

There you go. That's...
Yeah.

What is it? What's the old saying? When you're

pointing a finger, four fingers are pointing back

at you? Which is not actually true.

Three. Yeah, no one points with...

Well, if you point with your thumb... How can you point like that?

Frank kind of points with his thumb when he gets tired.

When his thumb gets tired. What if you do the Pauly Walnuts, which is that one? Yeah.
That's two back at you. Two at you, two at me.
Very efficient guy, that Pauly. All right.
Olympics. We were talking Olympics.
So the U.S. men's basketball team is back.
They better win gold. And you know what? Then we can do the whole, like, oh, I can't believe we doubted them.
Speaking of doubting, did you guys see LeBron? He's laying the what? I tried to look last night. I heard there was some crazy tweets.
He deleted it right away. I went back and couldn't find it.
He deleted it right away. All right, I'm going to pull it up.
So he deleted it right away. I saw someone say he deleted it twice.
Yeah, I have it right here. He said, keep talking about my squad, our personal ages, the way they play.
We're past our prime in this league, etc., etc., etc. Do me one favor, please, all caps.
And I mean, please, all caps, prayer hands emoji. Keep that same narrative, energy, all caps, when it begins.
That's all I ask. Hashtag thank you, King Emoji.
And I told him, I was like, don't worry. I absolutely will keep that same energy, but I just want to point out that the Lakers are the odds-on favorite to win the West, and they have the second-best odds to win the championship.
I don't think they're odds-on. They are favorites to win the West.
And they're second favorites to win the championship. I don't think they're odds on.
They are favorites to win the West. And they're second favorites to win the championship.
And I'd like to point out that when he runs through this list of things, he's very clearly just singling out individual teammates that he has with every line that he delivers. So he's saying, keep talking about our personnel ages.
So's directly pointing at himself the way they play that's westbrook excuse me west brick we're past our time in this league carmelo anthony and also personnel ages uh dwight howard yeah so he's he's he's singled out with each line who we should be attacking for him please me a lot of time on that one please all caps. I'm going to keep that same energy.
I promise. This is my – isn't that the name of his school? I promise.
Promise, Kat. I promise to LeBron I will keep that same energy.
You're welcome. Hashtag you're welcome, King.
This is the part of my take, Promise, Kat. All right.
We will fulfill that. Let's talk about Olympians that are actually playing in the Olympics and actually care about our country.
So, yeah, the basketball, when is that game? Anyone? I believe it's 10.30 Eastern tomorrow, Friday night. 10.30 Eastern p.m.
Friday night. Correct.
So we can watch it. It's something along the way.
So we can watch it. On the cock.
I hate that. I'm not sure.
Also, I had an epiphany today. I just, maybe it's the time zone maybe it's the no crowds but so our four by 100 team sucks oh my god and there were like a lot of people who were like this is a debacle how are we so bad at this i was like i really just don't care like i want us to win but if we don't i don't lose any sleep over it well i don't lose any sleep sleep either, but I would like to see them win just because I remember growing up, that 4x100 relay team was so good.
And now they don't know how to pass a baton to each other. I pretend to care every four years during the Olympics, yes.
Yeah, I guess I just so care. I was sick about that baton pass.
I was sick. The baton pass was bad.
Our shot putters were awesome. They were.
Those guys are, they need them all in the WWE. They're fucking beasts.
It's so sick after they throw the shot putt. They'll scream.
They make tennis players look like giant P words because they'll just scream out and they'll say things like a professional wrestler would. There was one guy, the dude from Oregon that set the Olympic record last night.
He throws a shot putt and then he goes like, oh yeah. Yeah.
No, they're wrestlers. They are wrestlers.
They just aren't wrestlers yet. I also just love any sport that you can keep your shirt on the whole time.
They're just wearing t-shirts. Yep.
That's the best sport that's ever been created. There was a little suggestion for how to fix the four by 100 relay team.
It's actually pretty simple. Just practice with a tic-tac practice with something smaller practice practice yeah just seemed like they didn't practice yeah well at all we can take that back to square one say just practice with each other eventually carl lewis just roasted them yep man uh yeah and then the only other fix i had was i was watching the the climbing you can't have ropes you just can't like they just they, they just go balls to the wall, up the wall.
Like, there's no fear of death or injury or anything. It's just not real.
I need them to climb. I need them to free solo up the wall.
Back to the U.S. basketball team real quick.
If you saw the first half of the game last night, I thought we were going to get our asses kicked. It was as bad as it's been.
It was to the point where it was our offense was just if you if you happen to get into a half court set just either give katie the ball or give dame the ball and then hope that their shot goes unfortunately katie's good enough where he kept it close but like we were fucking awful in the first half at halftime pop was probably like whoever whoever loses this game has to claim kyrie irving and then they're like okay fuck we better stepping, we better step it up in the second half. Listen, I doubted them.
Actually, no, wait. I doubted them, and then I found out that they were all just drunk the whole time in Vegas.
So then I undoubted them. Well, they looked like they were high for the first half last night.
It was really, really bad. And I think, I don't know, there's absolutely something to be said for a team that has practiced more than like a week together yes playing in an international competition to the point where I think I feel like the winner of the basketball tournament could have put up a better performance in that first half than USA did a little tip that the uh the third place game uh between Slovenia and Australia Australia this group of Australians have never meddled they're going to have some extra motivation.
And Luka, I think, got maybe a little dinged up. I don't know, I'm just saying.
Mortal lock of the century, Australia, third place game. You've got to find the teams that actually, it's like bowl season.
It's mini bowl season. You know Dele's going hard in that game.
Yeah, like what's the motivation here? Luka just carried his team to the semifinals, and now is he going to be like, I'm going to really want a bronze medal? Australia, that group together, has never won a medal. It might be the only time that Luka's ever going to be in a semifinals.
Oh, that's true. Never gets out of the first round.
I can't wait to start that narrative next year. Is Luka a coach killer? That's a good question.
Is he a franchise killer? The Mavs had some issues might be um all right anything else before we get to our Mount Rush yeah I'd like to uh I'd like to apologize to Bryson DeChambeau oh yeah can I apologize yep Bryson I'm sorry um we you know we may have pointed some fingers Billy especially saying that hey maybe you just pretended to have COVID so that you wouldn't have to get drug tested at the Olympics where the standards are much stricter. I'm sorry for saying that.
It turns out that Bryson, he's not sure how he got COVID. He doesn't have the vaccine.
But he said that he didn't take the vaccine because he didn't want to take it away from someone else who might have needed it. So how many lives do you think that Bryson DeChambeau saved by pretending to get covid i when i read that quote i was like is this quote from from december yeah like it made no sense you could if you walk down the street in new york you will get you will get propositioned with the vaccine every other block yeah i literally got the vaccine grand central station right yeah you could you stumble into the vaccine.
But Billy, how many people? But Bryson, good for him. How many people did you kill because you selfishly took the vaccine? I think there was more vaccines getting wasted.
Did you see they're going to start paying influencers a thousand bucks to talk about the vaccine? I know you're a big vaccine guy, Billy. Can I become a vaccine influencer? Yeah.
I think that'd be great. But you have to believe it will get it again you'll believe that i will i will get vaxxed up six times like once you get vaxxed it's breaking the seal we actually might have to get vaxxed again i will get six vaccines we might it's a hundred bucks each right yeah yeah but if you talk about more you'll be an influencer and And I think if you have between 1,000 and 100,000 Instagram followers,

they'll pay you 1,000.

Yeah.

We should get a promo code.

Promo code Billy.

If you show up and ask.

Through the vaccine.

Promo code Billy.

Billy gets five bucks.

I want that big pharma money.

You can use all your pie energy into this.

Perfect.

A couple other things that I had.

Ben Simmons says that he wants to play for the Warriors right now. So do I.
Apparently he's cut off all communications with the Philadelphia 76ers and says that he wants to play for the Warriors. I have three words.
Two words, actually. Shoot or shoot.
Shoot or shoot. When I saw it, I was like, yeah, dude, we all do.
We all would like to play with Steph. Also, I feel like he cut off communication with the Sixers a long time ago.
They just happened to get to that now. Right.
Communications are still cut off. Yes, yes.
And then the bidding war is over. RG3 is back in the NFL.
There's been a treaty signed, a peace treaty between Fox and ESPN. He's going on ESPN, but there's an out in his contract that says that if he gets signed to an nfl roster he can leave espn mid-season so okay let's get rg3 back in the nfl there's also two other things that just popped in my head one phil rivers opening the door or not closing the door on his career was the best news ever because we can hope is a dangerous thing but it will carry us for at least a year or two thinking phil rivers may show up somewhere and we get him back in our lives and then the clip of jamis getting just ragdolled by the uh by the pads i i am so so excited for jamis winston on sundays like i'm i we i think we have to slow play it though we can't root for him to be full hilarious Jameis Winston on Sundays.
I think we have to slow play it, though. We can't root for him to be full, hilarious Jameis throwing pick sixes because we don't want him to get benched.
No, I want him to come out there and set the league on fire and then have one or two slapstick-worthy plays per week. While he's still playing well, there are two quarterbacks in the history of the NFL that I think could have fit in seamlessly in the three stooges.
One is Eli Manning, and the other is Jameis Winston. He's hilarious to watch.
He's got the best unintentional pratfalls ever. It's the best, so get excited.
We want him to play well. And with the Phillip Rivers thing, he said he went out of his way to say, I'm going to finish the season coaching football for my high school team, And then afterwards, I'll come back.
So he's – this is actually – you know what? It's going to be Phillip Rivers doing another fourth quarter comeback, but this time for an entire season. I'm excited.
And it's very clearly just an example of like he went home and he had to be a dad to nine kids for the first time in his life and he was like yeah i don't think i'm retired

yet this is a lot i think i probably could use some time in the office right yeah right at the end of summer when school hasn't started back up and he should be at camp yeah he's like oh man yeah okay i kind of miss sleeping in a door this one's tough um all right let's do our mount rush more and then we have a great interview in person with mike tannenbaum talking about nfl front offices and how they work and everything

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68. All right.
You're going 68? No, no, no. You just threw me that ball.
Okay. Four.
So the Mount Rushmore of pizza toppings. We're going back to basics.
So we had a couple outside-the-box ones. Now, we did do – I tried to look it up because I didn't want to have a repeat, which we might have done on Monday by accident.
We did the Mount Rushmore of pizza toppings in general. So we have not done Mount Rushmore of pizza toppings.
All right, Hank, your number. Four.
Big Cat. What's yours? I'll go 71.

69.

96.

Okay.

Oh, boy.

I think I have PTSD from...

71.

That was my guess, right? You got 71. I got it exactly.
God damn it. Look at that.
That's such a fucking waste. You got to be kidding me.
All right. There's a few that are good.
Wait, what order do you want to go in? I'm figuring it out. I'm figuring it out.
Let's go Hank this way. I think I can get what I want on the third.
On the comeback? Yep. I'm starting.
Hank, you start. Pepperoni.
Fuck. Okay.
That was maybe a mistake. That was 1-1 overall.
That was maybe a mistake. Hank, how are you feeling about your Mount Rushmore? I feel great.
I feel great. Yeah? I've been in the lab and working with my team.
Got a whole new strategy. When it was pointed out that your last Mount Rushmore, you just picked a bunch of teenagers and maybe some even younger? Yeah, underage.
You wanted to hang out with a high school girl? She's 18, first of all. But second of all, I watched a cartoon when I was like 12.
She was 20. So when I was 12, she was older.
In context where people are like, dude, you're trying to pick out i was like yeah i guess whatever but i think context matters with that okay okay uh billy your first pick and they're fucking cartoons like parts oh whatever yeah all right so so for us new york guys who get real good pizza and don't really need toppings oregano oregano what like Like shake? Yeah, a little oregano. Okay, okay.
I don't really need toppings? Oregano. Oregano.
Whoa. Like shake?

Yeah, a little oregano. Okay.

Okay. I don't hate that.

I think you're missing a letter there. Oregano.

Oregano. Alright, I'll one-up you then.

Oregano. I'll one-up you for the people that

don't need toppings. The topping would

just be cheese. Plain.
Plain.

Plain. Plain would be my...
Yes.

You can take plain anywhere.

If you can do a plain pizza right, then I think that you can do everything else right. Exactly.
Start with the basics and build off that. Mr.
Pizza Guy, Dave Portnoy, picks plain. You don't think that's a topping? You call a pizza place.
You say, can I get a pizza, no toppings. All right, fine.
Is there cheese on it? I'll throw it out. No, no, no.
Do you want to throw a flag? No, I'm just, that's the only thing I'm saying. Cheese pizza.
Cheese pizza. Yeah.
All right. It's not really topping, though.
All right. So, all right.
Then we won't do it. All right.
Fine. Fine.
I don't want to be like. I'll do something else.
No, no, no. That's fine.
It plays. It plays.
It plays. It plays.
It plays. It plays.
It plays. It plays.
It plays. Because if there's no cheese, then it's just a tomato.
It's fine. No, no, no.
But that's a different topping. No, no, no.
Wait. I have a question.
I have a question. I have a question.
What, like, are different types of pizzas toppings or...

All right, I'm going to change it.

I'm going to change it.

I don't know what that question was.

I'm going to pretend you didn't ask.

No, but like white Ninja Turtles again.

I thought we were doing a basic Mount Rushmore.

I might have fucked it up.

I'll take 50% ownership.

Wait, wait, wait.

You know white pizza?

Yeah, that's a good point.

No, no, no, no, no.

Because you're asking if removing a topping counts as a topping.

No, it doesn't.

It's an anti-topping.

All right, I'll do, I'll change. I'll do, I'm going gonna get a lot of heat for this one, but I don't give a fuck.
Pineapple. Fuck you! No, no, no.
Hawaiian, dude, Hawaiian cuisine, that's pineapple. I was gonna go with ham and pineapple at the turn.
People love to hate on pineapple. Hawaiian pizza is delicious.
Yes. So now I gotta do an audible because I just going to create an entire Hawaiian pizza.
I had to do an audible because I was going to create a plain pizza. That's fine.
I'm going to go with ham. Okay.
Ham is a very underrated pizza topping, I think. And then I'm going to go with what, Hank? Literally nothing.
I'm literally looking at my list. I didn't make a facial expression.
Yes, you did. Did you make a list for this one? Yeah.
Okay. Hank literally just went like this.
No. No.
Literally no. Hank's got to tell.
You guys are like. He just took out an Oreo and he listened to it.
You guys are like trying to. I don't know.
Okay. All right.
Let's keep going. Let's keep going.
Let's keep going. I'm just existing in the studio and everyone's coming at my neck.
I'm going to go ham and then since I can't go with pineapple, I'm going to go with... I like black olives.
Ooh. I had it on my list.
I had it on my list. Black olives have the most flavor per surface area of any pizza topping.
I can't believe this lasted this long. I'm going to take sauteed onions.
Or just onions. Do I have to clarify? Just onions.
Onions. All right, fine.
Just onions. Put it in as onions.
Especially if you took ham, pineapple, and onions, then that's a pizza fit for a king. Yes, it is.
All right, Billy or Jake, Jilly. I was going to do onions and peppers, but now we're just going to do peppers.
Okay. Like, you know.
Nice. You were going to do two, but now you're going to do one.
It's good that you told us you were going to do onions and peppers. Because onions and peppers is a great combo.
That is a good combo. What color peppers? Good question.
Red and green? You got to do one. Billy, you got to do one topping.
It's one topping. I think you get all peppers, but it's more of a question of which one.
If we made you pick, what would you pick? I don't know. Usually they're both on there.
I feel like they're usually green, right? They're usually both. They're green.
Okay. Which ones taste better? But you're talking about mild peppers, right? Not spicy peppers.
The best. Red tastes better than green.
Okay. Okay.
Hank. Sausage? Wait.
I don't know how that got back to me. I thought they took sausage.
What did your first pick? Oregano. Oregano.
Fuck. I took ham.
Okay. Isn't ham the same thing? Yeah.
I fucked that up. I have that written down.
I fucked that up. Barbecue chicken.
Fuck. Okay.
I could use that with my pineapple. That's fine.
That's fine. Okay.
Next. All right.
Good picks, Hank. I don't know if you guys know this, or you do know it, but I try to eat healthy as much as possible.
Bring in salad every day. Yeah, you do.
So with pizza, I want to have some sort of vegetable In to make me not feel too guilty So I'm going to go with spinach I actually think that's not a bad pick I have a pizza place I go to And they have like a big Is it spinach that's on there? I think it's spinach on there right? Spinach What's the green thing they put on the pizza? Oh, maybe basil. Oh, that's my pick, basil.
So what I usually do is I'll order basil and tell myself that it's spinach. Okay, I'm taking basil.
I'm taking basil. So similar.
They're like brothers. Yeah, I thought this shows how much greens that I've been eating that I don't know the difference between spinach and basil.
But it's definitely basil. I like those.
It's like on a margarita pizza. I want four pieces of basil on a big pizza, and you get a couple bites of it.
I like a little bit more basil than that. I had basil on my list for sure.
My next pick... You got two.
Jesus. I think I'm going to go with green olives.
I like doing a mixture. I like doing both green and black.
Corner the olive market. I mean, it's actually not a bad strategy in terms of voting.
Olive people will. If there's one olive person out there.
Fuck, now I want to change my pick. No, no, no.
You can't change it, I don't think. I'm too reliant on olives, I think.
All right. Mushrooms.
Mushrooms. Fuck.
Classic. Mushrooms are really, really good on pizza.
I don't like them or care for them that much in anything else, but on pizza or maybe in some pasta, really good, especially if they're sauteed in butter. Yep.
Now, can we do different cheeses? Fuck. Can we? No? Yes.
Okay. Yeah.
All right. My last pick will be ricotta cheese.
Ricotta cheese on my pizza. Yeah.
That's a fair pick. That's different than regular cheese pizza.
My only complaint about ricotta is- I don't like it. Sometimes the circle of ricotta is way too big.
Yeah. Yeah.
I can't believe this one lasted so long, but anchovies. Yeah, Ravel.
Come on. Dude, it's such a good one, right? I mean, there are people.
I feel like people who love anchovies will swear by it. They'll fucking go to war for it.
It's a pander pick for the anchovy cult. Right.
Because they go hard. You split the vote.
Anchovies actually, I think they have more flavor than olives do. Yes.
Anchovies are delicious. They go hard.
But I don't know. It's tough to get them on a pizza because you really have to know what you're doing For me to order a full fish from you On my pizza I'm not going to do that Papa John, don't necessarily trust him Okay, Hank, your last pick In a miraculous turn of events My top four are still available Nothing got taken off Bacon Wait, did you go all meat? Yeah What'd you get? Pepperoni, sausage, barbecue, chicken, bacon.
You made a meat lover's pizza. Fuck.
The best pizza. Damn it.
Put it in a papadilla and you got the perfect pie. You know what, though? I don't think the listeners are going to like all meat.
There are vegans out there that listen to this show. There's at least one.
Stop listening right now, right, Billy? The Billy Stands. Stop listening.
Get those fuckers out of here. A hamburger? Anyone like hamburger on their pizza? Sometimes.
Sometimes. Buffalo chicken? Buffalo chicken I had.
Buffalo chicken. Meatballs, that's a miss.
Prosciutto. That's a miss.
Mozzarella. Peniala vodka on the pizza.
That's good, too. Sun-dried tomatoes.
You know what's... Now, this is getting crazy, but there was...
At Wisconsin, Ian's Pizza, they had waffle... I'm sure everyone has this, but a waffle pizza, chicken and waffle pizza.
That was fucking good. You know what we missed big time? The stingers, the hot peppers from Colony Grill.
Dude, Colony Grill, could I have done hot oil? Yeah. Fuck.
Hot oil is my favorite. All right.
I don't really love my draft, but we'll see. Yeah, the two olives might be tough, but I don't know.
I'm pretty confident. You guys probably second.
We'll see. I know.
I think that... Cheese pizza really fucked me.
I think that people look at Hank's Mount Rushmore and be like, he should have had at least one non-meat ingredient in there. It's true.
Should have thrown in a teenage girl. It's a good thing I don't do my picks for the people.
I do them for myself. Wow.
Wow. All my picks.
All right. Let's get to our interview with Mike Tannenbaum.
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That's SimpliSafe.com slash PMT. Okay, here he is, Mike Tannenbaum.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. In person is Mike Tannenbaum.
He works for ESPN now. He's the front office insider for ESPN.
He was formerly the Jets general manager and also worked as executive vice president of football ops for the Dolphins. Thank you for joining us.
Thank you for coming in. I'll do the hardest question first.
PFT and I, as diehard football fans, how easily could we do your job? Oh, very easily. Okay.
That's what we thought. GM, yeah, we could have done that, right? Yeah, we could do a little job swap, right? You sit back, you give out orders.
If it's right, it's your decision. If it's wrong, it's everybody else's.
Yes. We were actually just talking on the show the other day saying that the best thing that general manager can do is to draft a new quarterback and then if things go badly you just blame the new quarterback for being bad and then that kind of lets you skate a little bit do you feel that's we have an accurate representation of what your job was yeah in all seriousness in the jets draft room we used to have a sign that said success has many fathers and failures an orphan which was, which was like, hey, everybody wanted to draft Darrell Revis, but Vernon Golston, effing Tannenbaum, can you believe he did that? So, yeah, it's definitely one of those things where you're sitting in the seat and you're going to get the blame or the praise depending on the move.
Yeah. I might have a more difficult question than that.
Why the fuck did you cut Danny Woodhead? That's a great call. That was a egregious mistake.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I might have a more difficult question than that.
Why the fuck did you cut Danny Woodhead? That's a great call. That was a greediest mistake.
Yeah. He's my favorite person in the entire world.
I would have just kept him around just to have that personality in the locker room because he's like the nicest person that you'll ever meet. Yeah.
But also to your credit, you did cut him, but you did find him too. So I guess that you deserve a little tip of the cap for that.
Actually, man, Jeannie found him. We were at the end of the draft, and we were looking for guys.
Like, you're looking for attributes. And this guy had unbelievable production.
Short, white guy. Great ball skills.
Great kid. And it was just one of those things.
Like, you're making that decision. And one of the things I think people don't understand is, like, oftentimes, like, you're counting heads.
Like, hey, is going to be four running backs who and but a lot of times the tiebreaker is going to be about special teams and we want uh we kept like a db it was it was a dumb decision so like as a gm or front office in the nfl what is the number one thing mistake that you see happen time and time again like what's the thing that you're like listen people keep getting tripped up at this point what you've been on both sides what is that yeah because i would say like sometimes we scout with the ending in mind or we have like these preconceived notions and one of the few i tell you like i got right was justin herbert like i scouted him for two years i go to espn and i'm standing on the table like i I want this guy. And I'm watching in the media.
We all have these incredible biases. And I said it, which was, if Justin Herbert played in the SEC, he would have been the number one pick in the draft.
But he's quiet. He's in Oregon.
A lot of people just didn't watch him as much. So I think what happens is, Joe Burrow, incredible year, great guy, leader, Tua, Nick Saban standing on the table for two.
It's hard if you're running a team and your job's on the line and Nick Saban says, hey, this is a guy you need to draft. It's hard to not let that influence your decision.
But if you went through the process, like, there were so many things about Justin Herbert. He was the biggest, the fastest, the smartest, very competitive.
Like, sometimes we overcomplicate it. Right.
Okay, that makes sense. So how long do you give a quarterback typically to be able to tell, is this guy going to make it or not? Because we've talked to a few people, and I think we both kind of used to be at the mindset that sometimes it can be good to let a guy sit for a while because if he's not in the right situation, you could spook him, you could give him some bad habits, and he could kind of ruin himself if he's not put in a comfortable situation but then i think we're talking with uh slareth right and slareth said that if the guy is going to get too spooked by coming into the wrong situation he's probably not the guy for the long term so if you have a a quarterback like tua how long do you give him to kind of prove that he's going to be able to pan out before you start thinking about the future yeah pft like we literally talked about that this morning which is like if you go back like five or ten years ago like we would give these guys you know five years like chad painton sat for two years before he ever played you know now like we're calling to a bust like to had major hip surgery a year ago basically an abbreviated offseason like we got to give the guy a chance to see like what he has like i thought they did a good job of adding Jalen Waddell.
They've got two guys that can run in Fuller and Waddell. So I think he needs a lot more time.
And in another year, we'll know. Obviously, this is a consequential year, but I think sometimes we move on from guys way too fast.
Do you think that's because sometimes it's fun to just say, that guy's a bust? There's nothing fun about that.

It's fun for us to say.

For us, yeah, to slap a bust label on someone.

Oh, yeah, of course.

If you drafted him, it's probably not as enjoyable.

But for us, it's nice to just have a nice, clean label

and be like, bust.

Then I don't have to think about him anymore.

Well, what happens when he comes back to life?

Then, you know what?

I was originally right about the quarterback being good

before I slapped a bust label on him. You definitely should be a GM.
I mean, you have all the traits of a really good GM. So I've always thought that from looking from the fans' perspective, the thing that really trips up front offices and organizations is everyone is very competitive.
The scouts are competitive. They want to be GM someday.
The coach is competitive. He wants to keep his job as long as possible so everyone's out for self-preservation is that like way off or is that kind of how a lot of front offices especially dysfunctional ones operate where guys are kind of looking out for themselves you hear it all the time where like a gm will come in and he'll be like clean house because they're not his guys is there that type type of territorial thinking? Yeah, there is to a certain extent, Big Cat.
I think that's fair. Like when I went to Miami, like I was bound and determined, like we could win with the people here.
Like I literally brought one person from outside the organization. We promoted Chris Greer, who's still there.
We went to the playoffs. I thought there were a lot of great people there, but generally speaking, that is definitely true like i know for me like

sometimes i had to check my own like competitiveness like i'm sitting there for years i'm banging my head against the wall like i want to beat tom brady like what else can we do to beat f and tom brady whose birthday by the way it is today yeah and so your competitiveness you almost have to check it because if not like you can go from being aggressive to reckless and sometimes that line's pretty fine.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so I would imagine

that like focusing

all your energy on how to defeat one person in your division, under most circumstances, probably wouldn't be worthwhile, right? That person would be just living rent-free inside your head. But when it's Tom Brady, who's dominating the league for 20 years or winning multiple Super Bowls, then you kind of have to start to think about building a team that can specifically attack him.
Let's be really clear. Tom Brady isn't living rent-free.
He moved in, built a freaking neighborhood, both at the Jets and the Dolphins. And in all seriousness, that's why we made the trade with Favre.
You won't find a better human being than Chad Payton like this guy is a pros pro

he was a good player took us to the playoffs multiple times but at the end of the day like we made the honest sober calculation like can we get to where we want to go having Chad Payton compete against Tom Brady and we all said no and that's why we took a shot at Favre so and then you know after Favre you have Mark Sanchez you go to back-to-back Championship games. Now, was there a feeling like we're on to something big or we're farther away than maybe the AFC Championship game? We just got a couple breaks along the way.
Yeah. Clearly, that was another mistake, which was, you know, it's such an unusual fact pattern.
Sanchez comes in. We win four road playoff games.
We beat Tom Brady, Peyton manning phil berger's on the road we extend

him and he plays worse and you bring up a great point big cat which is you got to evaluate your own correctly and no one does that better than belichick for all his superpowers if you look over the years like he'll move on from a guy a year too soon then too late and he deserves a ton of credit for that yeah can we go go back real quick to like how you got started in this business because I heard that you,

it took like Bill Parcells

a couple different phone calls

to convince you to come work for him. Initially, you didn't want to do that.
So how was he able to talk you into starting? Gosh, I don't know how you got that, but that's true. Sources.
I'm a reporter. No, very few people actually know that.
So I was an unpaid intern, graduated from law school, worked for Coach Belichick. Belichick goes to the Patriots, Patriots to the Jets.
Belichick recommends me to Parcells. They put in a permission slip.
My boss says, you can't go. I call up Parcells.
I never met him. I grew up in the Northeast.
I was scared to death of him. And I said, hey, Coach, I just want to thank you for showing interest and um you know they're denying permission but i want you to hear from me like um thank you he's like well i'm gonna make this real easy i'm not interested in you know interviewing you the job's yours so you quit walk out the door and get on the plane so i'm like hey coach thanks for no i panicked i hung up oh really i hung up wow i was like i thought i saint.
I was making $27,000. They offered me an extension starting at $35,000.
I think, like, I made it, man. Like, four-year deal, making $35,000 in the NFL.
Coach Parcells calls him back. He goes, hey.
He goes, why won't you get on this plane? Like, tell me what it's going to take. I'm like, it's not about the money.
I want to be a GM. I have this dream.
He's like, well, you come here i'm like because i am scared to death of you like i grew up in the northeast and you scare the shit out of me he's like well why can't you live your dream with me and we had this great conversation for the next 45 minutes about life dreams i'm like you know what i'm gonna get on the plane there it is i just walked out of the saint's facility got on a plane and then the rest. So he sold you on it.
What did he say to make you no longer afraid of him? PFT, he had a line that I'll take to my grave. He goes, you're either one of us or one of them.
And he goes, my expectations are you're going to come up here and get those son of a bitch assigned. When a trapper comes off the side of the mountain, you don't have to say, is he a good hunter? He either has pelts on his horse or he doesn't.
So Mr. T, we're going to go go by what we see and either you sign those son of a bitches and you get to stick around or i'm gonna ship your ass back up to boston now what are we gonna do wow i'm like let's go i love it so so he he kind of said i if you don't sign with me if you think i'm scary now you'll think i'm a lot scarier if you're a son of a bitch that doesn't work for me yeah and i was like you know, you know what? I'll bet on myself.
Like, I'm not going to be the guy. And like, I always like,

as I work my way up the ranks, I always said, all right, I'm going to look to my left and to my

right. And I'm not going to be the guy that sends us home.
I don't care if I'm driving people to

the airport, which I did for Belichick, running an organization. Like, I'm not going to be the

guy to fuck it up to send us home. And coach just challenged me.
He's like, I got the keys to this

franchise for Mr. Hess.
I need one person to sign him. I think it's you.
Maybe my expectation

Thank you. it up to send us home and coach just challenged me he's like I got the keys to this uh franchise for Mr.
Hess I need one person to sign him I think it's you maybe my expectations are too high for you I'm like I'm coming wow that's great so what was uh so in your role and through the years what are maybe give me two guys offense and defense the ones that got away the ones that you were like that was the guy that I had scouted, that I had looked after, that I wanted. I knew he was going to be great, and for some reason we weren't able to get him, whether it be via trade or the draft, however it may fall down.
Yeah, I mean, we could talk about the Tom Brady story for a second. So this is incredible.
So at the time, you guys may remember, the Jets facility was at hostra university we take chad pennington round one one of four first rounders in the third round bill walsh drafts carmelo carmelo uh carmazzi giovanni carmazzi yeah from hostra and we're like god we fucked it up like bill walsh the greatest quarterback coach of all time right takes a guy that's on our campus right and we draft Pennington. And in the fifth round, we had a scout, Jesse Kay.
He is standing on the table for Tom Brady. He's like, I'm telling you, this guy is great.
I saw him against Syracuse. He has rare leadership.
And we're all like, come on, Jesse. We just got Chad Pennington.
And if we were going to take another one, it should have been Carmazzi. Bill Walsh takes Carmazzi.
And we had a conversation about Brady a a little bit in the fifth round and one guy jesse k was the guy that was like this is a guy that has a chance to be really good wow i like what you just did there because you you gave credit to one of the scouts that was in the room if i i don't know what your future plans are but if you want to get back into the nfl what you should have said right there so we could get some good headlines when big Cat asked you the two that you missed out on, you should have just said Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes. I had them both at the top of my board, and then we put out a little quote card that would have your name and face on it, and then everybody would be like, wow, Dan Bob really knows his stuff.
That's crazy, though, Tom Brady. So what ended up happening to Jesse K? Where is he now? He's retired.
He was a die-in-the-wolf scout, long-time great guy. A little bit of an old-school feel guy.
And again, if you think about Tom Brady's narrative, couldn't start at Michigan. Slow.
What's the attribute about him? If he can't beat out Drew Henson, at that time Chad Pantin was like the golden boy had randy moss and you know all like he was a we were shocked tom brady's uh chad pantin thought he was going pittsburgh like the steelers gave every indication that he was going to go eight they took plaxico like we were doing backflips he was there at 18 so you you just brought something up i wanted to talk about the feel versus like maybe numbers or analytics how much is it feel when you're talking about drafting a guy i think so here here's my view on that guys is we want to use the numbers to and belchick's a little bit like this too like let's define the fairway now we could go outside of it but let's make sure that we are so you look at any of those guys like wes welker danny amadola even like woodhead's a little bit like, although Woodhead was a little bit faster, straight line, those guys all had a redeeming characteristic. They were great change of direction, three cone.
But my point was, guys, we could go outside of the parameters, but if we do, they have to have a compelling reason. And in some of those cases with the slot receivers, they had great change of quickness.
But I wasn't going to go outside those parameters because someone's like yeah i think he's gonna be really special right why tell us why he's so special see that would be where i would get tripped up with gm thing because obviously as a gambler someone would just say like hey this guy's gonna be special i'd be like you know what that's my lottery ticket let's go and i would probably fail every single time but that's okay like and like tunsell is a great example of this like we got tunsel right because like it was a little bit of a gut feel which was the video is unreeling right national tv yeah what did you think in the room like so i'll tell you i'll take you right into the room so he's laramie tunsel for people don't remember that obviously the bong face mask and everything right so we have brandon albert a good not great left tackle we are convinced that tunsell's originally going to go one tennessee but his floor is five he's going to go to baltimore so gas mask whole thing starts and gets to five and they take ronnie stanley i'm like damn like ozzy newsome like he's a little bit of a risk taker like ozzy doesn't care like he he just wants good players. Like eight, nine.
I'm like, oh my God, like there's no way he's going to be there. So we brought in our area scout, Matt Winston, whose brother was the NFLPA president, Eric Winston.
Great scout. He'll be a GM one day.
He's like, Tunsell's a great kid. Like great mom, great teammate, academic advisors, equipment guys.
They all love him. And obviously, look, if you if you're gonna take if if you're not gonna take somebody because they're smoking weed like there'll be eight guys on the board right yeah right he just happened to get caught and right so he's sitting there at 13 and we're we were all like look like he's a great kid made a mistake it was a great opportunity for us so it was a feel thing big cat but like we had a great scout who went in there in the fall, and we knew exactly what we were getting.
Yeah. I don't even think it was that big of a mistake.
The video was pretty cool in retrospect. I kind of wish I had a video like that out there.
Actually, it gets even better. Not a drug guy.
I go back to my office. I am doing backflips.
I'm like, we just got the first guy in the draft, and we didn't have to trade it. Like, this is unbelievable.
I call up my wife. I'm like, Michelle, can you believe how unbelievably lucky we are? Like, I can't believe.
Like, I am so pumped. She's like, you got a problem.
I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, we had young kids at the time. They're like, they're scared to death.
And I'm like, can you just handle it? She's like, no, you're going to handle it. And I quickly went from being a gm to like a very concerned father like like what kind of role model and like of course like the next day like good people make mistakes and you know like the whole spiel i think it was mostly because it was an intimidating looking mask it was like kind of scary so kids are like wow why'd you draft a stormtrooper exactly like yeah and i think that if that had happened a couple years later just in the last three years the narrative has changed a lot around marijuana where you know a lot of states have legalized it so i don't even know if he falls to you that was like the perfect timing for the dolphins to capitalize do you think he would add an endorsement on that yeah probably yeah yeah would have been like three chi sign him up laramie tunsel yeah um all right so other thing that I've always just wanted to ask a GM.
Your time at the end of your Jets tenure,

was there a feeling of like i'm a dead man walking how does that work because we see it all the time where we know we could point right now to the 32 teams the nfl you could probably say five to ten of the gms right now will maybe get fired if things don't go well and they have to feel it yeah absolutely and like with privilege comes responsibility and like these are not jobs you're going to retire in and it sucks like when you see your name on the back page and you know like your day is coming and there's not a lot you can do and i always felt like you know i'm not going to change like i'm gonna be the first guy in every day i feel like my motivation was slightly like there was an insecurity like did I ever really even deserve this job like I replaced Bill Park like who am I you know like so I I was always like I'm gonna be the first guy in the last to leave and even like when I knew those days were coming I'm like I can't change and you know and then you look back and you're like you know what we stood shoulder to shoulder with the best in the game and we held up pretty well yeah so yeah one of the best guys that you drafted uh Darrell Revis one of the best cornerbacks to play in the last probably in the history of the NFL so that must have felt pretty good but at the same time you knew that every offseason it was like okay Darrell Revis is going to work me over for more money and as a general manager you have to balance that against you know what you're paying out to the rest of the team do you like is there a part of you that kind of regrets having him on the team where it made your entire offseason such a pain in the ass? PFT, those are good problems to have. We'll sign up for those.
Coach Parcells always used to talk about, Mr. T, let's worry about right-ons, not right-offs.
Everyone's always worried about right-ons. Get the money.
Get the money, and we'll figure out the rest. So those are good problems to have.
Yeah, he was a great player, and I actually think he played the system as a player exactly perfect. He maximized his value while he was in the league in the way that he would renegotiate all the time.
But that was always like the constant storyline in the offseason. Did you ever feel like you had to be prepared in advance for those negotiations even like right after he signed the last one? No doubt.
And what most agents don't understand, guys, is the most effective pressure that a player could put on is from within. Now, with Rex, everything about Rex is true.
The good, the bad, the ugly, and I love him. But when he's out there every day saying he's the best player in the sport and we couldn't line up without him, that is not exactly negotiation one-on-one.
And his agents, certainly, to their credit, we're going to use everything that Rex said, but the amount of pressure that was put on internally, we could not function without Darrell Revis. So that was the holdout.
A player that's actually willing to hold out and is a talented football player, that's the best strategy typically? That's the way to maximize value? Yeah, and you have to convince the front office that you're going to miss games. And I've said, you know, for the last year on ESPN, like with Aaron Rodgers, like Green Bay will not blink or even think about blinking until he doesn't show up.
Now, when he doesn't show up, now they're going to take a half a step back and say, hey, can we get three ones from Denver? Really, what do we have in Jordan Love? Can we get Nick Foles for a year? All those other discussions, the day he doesn't show up, those discussions begin. But until then, then they're going to assume that hey he's bad like a lot of us are at his boss but when rubber meets the road he's going to show up so that so in your mind that uh entire stare down never really was a stare down because he never there was never a day that he didn't show up big cat i said for a year until he doesn't show up he's a green bay packer and they know that and you're praying that his competitiveness and one of the things that i admired from what roger said was it was really clear like he's a good teammate like for him to go if you guys notice he had no notes when he was talking about guys like charles woodson he's going back four or five years and he's talking about details like you could tell this guy in his own way maybe not your style, he's a good dude and a good teammate.
And if you're the Packers and you know that, you're assuming he's going to show up and we're going to be okay because he doesn't want to let his teammates down. He may be pissed at us, but he'll be here.
So we had this discussion on Monday's show. When you have a generational talent like Aaron Rodgers, when you have a Patrick Mahomes, how much do you think the game has changed where what he said was essentially like, I want to be part of the process? Do you think the GMs have to start doing that more for their quarterbacks? Why wouldn't you? I had Chad Pennington and Ryan Tannehill be part of the coaching search.
Why wouldn't you? They're going to see things I can't. And by the way, you thought Woodhead was a bad decision.
give you a worse one. Like, we cut Jericho Cotri, who was this great dude.
He was speed deficient at the end, tough and smart. I remember the day we cut him.
I thought the quarterbacks were going to kill me. And they were right.
You know, there's certain things players are going to see that you never can. The object of the exercise, fellas, is like, we got to get this right.
So why wouldn't you at least listen to Aaron Rodgers and say, hey, we're going to cut the receiver you like because he can't cover kicks. So here's our decision.
You could be mad, but you should understand why. Yeah.
Maybe give him an opportunity to object and say something that you hadn't considered. Yeah, why not? Right.
You want to get it right. It doesn't matter where the answer comes.
It could be from Jesse K or Aaron Rodgers. Let's get the answer right.
Let's get all the information in and then we'll make the best decision for us. Yeah.
We're going to get back to Mike Tannenbaum in a second. But before we do, this interview is being presented by our great friends over at Roman Ready ED.
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50-5-0. GetRoman.com slash Bar barstool today make sure that you're ready to have confidence and control this summer roman ready now back to mike tannenbaum do you understand the salary cap yeah you sure i think so i mean i don't think anyone does can you tell us how the rams are just able to do everything whatever they want and there's cap? Yeah, I don't think it's going to pay off for them.

I think they're like a great sort of like science experiment.

And here's what I'm talking about, guys.

We always talk about football as a consummate team sport.

You got to spread it out.

Maybe they're right.

They're saying, F that.

Like, we're going to get Jalen Ramsey, Aaron Donald.

Like, we're going to go play five against 11. But our five are so good, we're going to win.

I think when you look at their offensive line, guys, they are paper thin. thin and if anything happens to their starters especially a guy like whitworth and his age they could be in big trouble and look i thought you know when you look at their running back situation they were gonna be a little thin there i mean it's a tragedy what's happened there obviously um but it's a huge calculated risk that may pay off but if i had a bet i'm betting against it it.
Yeah. So I asked the cap question because it seems like every year, like the Saints, for example, are in salary cap hell.
They do two, three things, and boom, they're fine. It doesn't mean anything.
But Cam Akers is a great player that can't be replaced. Right.
So there's ways to minimize the cap charges, move them around. But the fact that the Saints couldn't go out and sign a player of Breeze's caliber is the salary cap.
Oh, that's James Winston. Yeah.
By the way, I think he's going to play well. Yeah.
You said that he's – who did you – oh, you compared him to Vinny Testaverde, right? Yeah, I did. I like that.
I'm surprised by the fact that you don't follow me on Twitter

and you knew I said that.

Well, I did some research and basically I just figured out,

has he said anything mean about Baker Mayfield?

You have.

Has he said anything nice about Jameis Winston?

You have.

I didn't say anything mean about him.

Yeah, you did.

It's about the facts.

I call them height and speed deficient.

I think you said you don't pay a deficient quarterback like Baker Mayfield. A height and speed deficient.
That's not mean. That's facts.
Russell Wilson, you might say, is height deficient. Yeah, you're binding yourself to mediocrity.
Yeah. Is Mike Tannenbaum quote about Baker Mayfield.
Is that nice? Huh. Is that a nice thing to say? First of all, that one's tough to come back from, Mr.
T.

Well, like I said, I will go back to my first statement.

You guys don't even follow me on Twitter.

I'll do that right now.

I'll follow you.

So I follow you on Twitter now.

Address your Baker Mayfield slander, please.

Okay, let me ask you this.

If you were the president of Barstool Sports, right, Big Cat,

and you walked into this room and said, hey, fellas, guess what? We just had one heck of the day. We just signed the seventh best podcaster on the planet.
Okay. They'd be like, what the F? Like, we want to be the best, right? Right.
But wait, Baker's not the seventh. You're saying he's the seventh? So draft the AFC quarterbacks.
Yeah, I mean, we already have Brandon Walker working for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes. No, no.
Draft the AFC quarterbacks. What do you mean? In order.
In order. Yeah.
But wait, but still need a quarterback. Right, but my point is, if you're going to pay Baker Mayfield, you better pay him contextually so you can keep Nick Chubb, Denzel Ward, all these other really good players you have.
In my opinion, he's somewhere between the sixth and eighth best quarterback in the AFC. How are you going to win a championship? And what do they pay him? But that's every quarterback.
Every quarterback who gets a new deal gets the highest paid deal. The cap is just bullshit.
But Big Cat, hold on a second. Those other quarterbacks you could win championships with.
Could you win one with Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, all these other guys. Matt Stafford.
You would say Carson Wentz if healthy. You could certainly have that argument.
You have Carson Wentz ahead of Baker Mayfield? So let's do this, right? We're going to take Mahomes. Josh Allen.
Josh Allen. Lamar.
Lamar, yes, but there's clearly, like, Lamar has issues when a team knows he's going to have to throw. No problem.
I'll take Herbert, Tannehill. Tannehill over Baker.
No, not Tannehill. You've got your Dolphins goggles on right now.
No, no, how about that? Ryan Tannehill has the best offense in the NFL since he's been in Tennessee. Okay.
Counterpoint, Baker Mayfield almost won the AFC Championship last year. And he won a playoff game with the Cleveland Browns.
So that's the other thing you have to take into account. You have to grade on a little bit of a curve when you're talking about Cleveland.

It's been so long since they've had

a quarterback that's even approaching

mediocrity. And you've got Baker Mayfield

who's actually good at the position

and the franchise has played well

under him. There's something about him that

makes him elevate that franchise. Even when he doesn't

play that great, you know that you still have a chance

sometimes with Baker. Right, but

here's the... Baker Mayfield is a guy

that is just objectively short

I'm all for it.

I would not pay him at top of the market.

And guys, remember this, he's under contract this year, next year,

and you could tag him the year after.

Yeah, that's what's so funny about the Baker talk.

We addressed this a couple months ago where it's like,

it felt like it was the middle of the summer

and there was nothing else to talk about in the NFL.

So people just smashed the button that said, like, let's talk about a contract extension for a quarterback that doesn't even need one right now. So what do you think about Dak? Dak at 40 would probably fall under that same category, would it not? I think he's a better player.
Yeah, but that's a lot of money. He's the second highest paid quarterback just on paper right now.
Again, none of these contracts mean anything. Right, but two years ago I said they should have have signed him over Zeke.
Zeke was in a fourth-year or a fifth-year deal, plus they could have tagged him. So if I was Dallas, I would have just let Zeke play the whole thing out, signed Dak back then, which was like $32 million, $33 million, Goff and Wentz, and obviously that market's gone up to $40 million.
So you really like Carson Wentz still? No, and Orlovsky and I were arguing about this today. Well, Orlovsky's literally, I think his best friend is Carson Wentz.
He almost cried when Carson Wentz, like he did. He notes that.
Either that or Stafford, right? Yeah. Him and, yes, exactly.
Stafford as well. But he's got a bias with Carson Wentz, which is fine.
We have a lot of biases ourselves. We just admit that.
Yeah. So my point about if you Google Bill Parcells quarterback commandments,

one of the things he talks about is you want a battlefield commander.

You want somebody that is going to lead the troops.

And we argued about it today.

If you're worried about Nick Foles as your backup, you've got the wrong guy.

You think Brett Favre, Dan Marino, Patrick Mahomes, Tom Brady cared who their backup was?

No.

They're going to go win championships. And that's the part about Carson Wentz that he may be lacking.
Right. Yeah, you're right.
If you're afraid of Nick Foles, it says something about your own security and your own leadership abilities right there. How much do you think NFL philosophy in front offices is just based on Bill Parcells' quotes? I mean, he's an influential guy.
Because he is like, he hasn't coached in 20 years and people still quote him like he's coaching today. I'll tell you what, and I have the great fortune of being friends with him, see him fairly regularly in Florida.
It's shocking. I would say at least 30% of the league still calls him.
If you're at dinner with him, and by the way, dinner is at 4.55, back table. I love it.
And if you're not there 10 minutes early, you're late. It's a testament to him and his career.
I do think that a lot of guys obviously still listen to him, but it's just funny because he's probably the most quotable coach, right? Yeah, and when you talk about guys, obviously Belichick is his own greatness, but the Zimmers, the Sean Paynes of the world, those are guys that they still engage and learn from him. And the thing about Bill is he has so much wisdom, and a lot of times he'll be like, oh, I'm a dinosaur, or I made this.
He is a very reflective guy, very insightful. Yeah, you are what your record says you are.
That and if you draft the wrong quarterback, it sets you back 10 years? That's not true. If you're going to let me cook dinner, you should at least let me shop for the groceries.
Yeah, he's got all of them, right? Yeah, maybe my expectations for you are higher than those of yourself. That's good.
Yes, very good. It's very hard to come back from that.
Yes, that hurts. I'm not mad.
I'm disappointed from your boss. Yeah.
But working for him, there were times, and he was a morning guy, I would leave a note on his door, like 5.15 in the morning, like, coach, I screwed that up. It'll never happen again, thinking he was going to fire me.
And the next day, there was a Hooters, like a half a mile down on Hempstead Turnpike, and we'd sign somebody and be like, hey, Mr. T had a great day.
Everybody, let's go eat some wings. Like he kept you on your toes, but at the end of the day, you would like walk on glass for him.
Yeah. You talked about the job of driving prospects and driving free agents to and from the airport.
I feel like that's a starting position for a lot of people in the NFL that are looking to work in front offices or, you know, the airport pickup guy. Was there any instructions that you had from above like, hey, keep your mouth shut, don't talk to them? Or were you expected to like, what makes you feel like you did a good job driving them to and from the airport? Yeah, actually, this is one of my big philosophies in life.
Like who you are is how you treat people that can't help you. The bus driver, the waiter, the waitress, the equipment equipment guy one of the reasons we drafted Darrell Rivas was like how respectful he was to our intern who he thought was a driver and for coach Belichick when we would bring guys back he'd be like hey tell me about that guy and again his whole thing was like if this guy's an asshole when we give him 10 million dollars he's gonna be a bigger asshole now as Rex say, if he could rush the passer, that's okay.
He's our asshole. But at least we know what we're getting, right? And so for Belichick, there was a bunch of times we'd run guys for physicals.
Hey, tell me about him. What kind of guy was he? Did he tip you? You know, like all that stuff.
Is there an allotted amount of guys on a roster that you're like, all right, we can have X amount of assholes? Yeah, so in every single GM's office, they have one mathematical equation. Production equals tolerance.
And Parcells and Belichick used to argue about LT because LT never showed up for the offseason program. That was really important to Parcells.
And Belichick's like, okay, so how long are we going to bench LT? And there's just a lot of wisdom in that discussion. You want to have standards, protocols, and culture, but you know what? Hey, if Tiger Woods is not in the off-season program, he's still going out there as one of our guys.
Right, and they always said that Belichick treats everyone the same, and I believe that in film study, but there's no way that he treats everyone the same in terms of the tolerance, what they would do, and whether he'd bring up. Gronk was obviously different than some other guys.
Gronk's a Hall of Famer. And there's a legendary story that Marino loved to tell, which was Jimmy Johnson's first day on the job.
He's like, look, Dan Marino, you fall asleep in one of these meetings, I'm going to wake you up. Back up corner, you fall asleep in one of these meetings, we're going to cut your ass.
Yeah. And that's just life though, right? Right.
Yeah, it's true. I'm going to give you kind of two options, which road you want to go down on this question.
I have one question that's about some inner team strife that you had to deal with, and then another one that's about team-to-team strife that you had to deal with. Is there an option three? No, those are the only two options.
Well, let's go inner team for 200. Was there a part of you that was like, okay, thank God that made my decision a lot easier when Geno Smith got punched in the face? I actually wasn't with him anymore when that happened.
Oh, you weren't? Okay. Yeah.
All right. Okay, you were with him for Tebow, though, right? Yeah, someone was dumb enough to trade for him.
Yeah, so the Tebow decision. Let's talk about that because he's back in the league as a tight end.
Did you ever think about like, hey, Tebow, you want to go out and run some routes for us? Yeah, I mean, that's really why we got him. We lost a guy named Brad Smith.
You guys may remember him. He was a great quarterback at Missouri, and he kind of did a lot of different jobs.
And one of the great things about where I sat for so long was just learning and listening to the game through the head coach I was with. So Rex always was like, I'm just telling you, Mike, like as a defensive guy, I hate when the opposing quarterback can make plays with his feet.
And when we lost Brad Smith, it was like, hey, we got to replace him. So on paper, it made sense to say, all right, we could get Tim Tebow for a fourth round pick.
He's making $2 million. And like, I think that of the mistakes I made.
It was like, all right, on paper, that's very logical. He just brings so many more eyeballs to it.
I'll tell you a really funny story. So in my house with our kids, we have a thing.
You have to earn your dessert eligibility. You have to do something nice for somebody else.
That's very football guy of you. Yeah, to have that.
Yeah. So we have Tim come in, and we're having dinner.
And it's like, it could not have been more awkward like you have tim you know he's an icon his agent we have our trainer his

family i got my mom in town from boston and my two kids and it's like okay like you know like

my 70 year old jewish mom and tim t but like how in the world are you gonna make conversation

so i'm like you know hey mom like what'd you do today to earn dessert eligibility so she's like

you know i bought my co-worker turkey sandwich i'm like great mom like you get a chocolate chip

Thank you. how in the world are you going to make conversation? So I'm like, you know, hey, Mom, like, what did you do today to earn dessert eligibility? So she's like, you know, I bought my coworker a turkey sandwich.
I'm like, great, Mom. Like, you got a chocolate chip cookie.
So we kind of go around the table. So it finally gets to Tim.
It could not be more awkward and stiff. And he's like, well, Mr.
Tanabon, we have seven pediatric cancer centers. We're buying two women out of sex slavery.
I'm like, all right, Tim, you got a cookie. My mom's turkey sandwich never looked so feeble.
That's amazing. He is a hell of a guy.
All right, so I have one last question for you. This has been awesome.
We really appreciate you coming in. You had a post about Coach K when he decided to retire, talking about social media and how his first three seasons didn't go so well and he probably would have been fired.
What about the season that he hurt his back and decided not to have any of those records count against his overall record? What about that? That's a fair point. Thank you.
Thank you. My point about that was, like, I'm as guilty as it now, but we're in this sort of, like, instant evaluation.
No, you're absolutely right.

Obviously, the post is about, like, the fact that every team, every fan base wants a revolving door.

And a revolving door, like, you know, I wanted the Bears to fire Matt Nagy. Like, you know, whether that's right or wrong, there probably is some benefit to the, you know,

having the same guys in the front office and the coaching staff for a few years.

Big Cat, just to put a ribbon on our conversation,

Bill Parcells, 3-12-1 first year.

He thinks he's going to get fired.

The late George Young is going to hire Howard Schnellenberger

to be the coach.

It gets back to him.

And he said publicly, privately, that he's like,

F this.

If I'm going to go down, I'm not going to be everyone's friend.

I'm going to try to be the best coach I can be

the way I know how, and I don't care if people like me or not, and that launched his Hall of Fame career. Wow.
Okay, so there it is. Have you officially changed your tune on Josh Allen? Good question.
Well, the context is this. He is a very good player, and historically he has done something that no one else has in terms of improving his completion percentage.
With that said, he did get hurt at Wyoming, and if we were running the Bills, guys, look, we would sign to an extension. I'm not saying we wouldn't, but I would be scared to death that because he's such a big guy and he plays the sport the way he does that will he make it through another five years? I hope he does, but like I said, he's been hurt once, and that would be...
That's a cop-out. You just did a cop-out.
Why is that a cop-out? You're like, well, he's good, but the injuries. Just say he's good.
Okay, and then you put your name on a $200 million contract. Done.
And you would have no concerns. Done.
I'll make it $220 million. Because the cap doesn't mean anything.
You'd cut him after a year if you had to so i i like him he's gotten better but that would worry me like he the way he plays like i hope he doesn't get hurt but like i said he already got hurt at wyoming all right so but if he if he like goes to the super bowl with the bills they had a great season last year if he takes the bills to the at that point you're like you have to change your tune at some And he, like, again, like, if you look at the history of our sport, his increase in completion percentage is historically good. Like, people don't leave college football and become as accurate as he has.
The way you're saying that makes me think that you think it's an aberration. It is.
I mean, that's the... But you think that it's not going to keep going? No, no, I would bet on him because his character, he's a great kid.
He has a much better sense of humor. And we got to know him in the pre-draft process.
He's a great kid. But he's really the exception.
Yeah. So I guess, which is the aberration? Josh Allen's, are you saying the aberration is his increased completion percentage from college? Or are you saying that last season was an aberration for him? No, no.
I would say his aberration going from college to – and I think his trajectory will stay where it is. But one of the things we would talk about if we were to draft room, we'd say, like, why would we take a guy from Wyoming who was not very accurate and he didn't, like, lift Wyoming to greatness? And to Buffalo's credit, you know, they identified it.
They won an Idaho Potato Bowl. I got a couple reasons.
They did. I mean, that flag flies forever.
Rocket arm. Yeah.
Looks good in shorts. Idaho Potato Bowl.
Tall. Tall.
There we go. And tall.
Drafted him. All right.
Well, you know what? We'll end it on, you know, you don't like Baker Mayfield. You don't like Josh Allen, but you like Jameis Winston.
We can deal with it. I'm okay with Josh Allen.
But not Baker. I'm just saying, Big Cat, if you want to be the seventh best, then I think you should go sign Baker Mayfield.
We'll leave on a positive note. In the context of Jameis Winston, tell us something that we have to look forward to.
Why you are a believer in Jameis Winston. He is someone that bet on himself and showed great humility a year ago by sitting behind Drew Brees, and that's hard to do when you're the first pick in the draft.
Now, we have to go see it pay off, but I thought what it did was really be selfless and take long-term view, and not a lot of guys on the planet who are 27 that have started 70 games in our league. And you've got basic eye surgery, too..
Yeah. There we go.
Yes, absolutely. All right.
Well, Mike Tannenbaum, you can catch him on ESPN. He's the NFL insider, front office insider.
We appreciate it. Appreciate you having me, guys.
Yeah, you're welcome back anytime. All right.
Thank you. Fire Fest of the Week is brought to you by our great friends over at Mattress Firm.
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We're going to wrap up the show with FireFest. Can I just say I'm reading the list right now of Mount Rushmore's that Jake just sent to us? Okay.
There's some tough ones on there to read. They look worse.
Mine doesn't look so good. They look worse in word format than they did when we picked them.
I do think Hank has too many meats. He does have too many meats.
You're a meat lover. Yeah.
I thought they took sausage. I don't know why I fucking thought that.
Orego. I know.
It's a classic. It is a classic.
It brings out the real flavor of the pizza. I made a mistake.
I shouldn't have gone ricotta. I don't know why I did that.
Is that the cheese that tastes kind of sweet? It's like cottage cheese. It's like a dessert cheese.
No, I don't like ricotta. No, fuck that.
I've also learned during this process that I don't know what I get on my pizza. I didn't know what basil versus spinach was because I usually just get a pepperoni pie.
Yeah. I think when Hank took pepperoni, one won it,

it threw all of us off a little bit.

Can we order pizza?

Yeah.

I actually really want some.

My FireFest is pizza related.

All right, let's start it.

Let's go.

FireFest of the week.

And we got some great interviews coming next week.

And then Grit Week the week after.

So get excited.

We will be out and about.

We're also going to figure out a way,

just a little announcement, we're going to figure out a way, just a little announcement,

we're going to figure out a way.

A lot of people ask us to do their fantasy draft orders.

We're going to streamline it.

So we're probably going to have Billy just go on

the part of my take YouTube and do all of them.

Billy, are your DMs open?

My DMs are open.

All right, so if you need Billy to figure out

your fantasy draft order,

just start DMing him all the names that you have right now. Actually, no.
Email me. No.
DM is best. Yeah.
Okay, DM me. Make sure you DM on Instagram and Twitter just to make sure.
Yeah. Right? Well, which do you prefer? Could you email me at billyfootballpmt at gmail.com? Wait, your email address is billyfootballpmt at gmail.com? Yeah.
And just throw out your Barstool email too. Okay, BillyFootball at Bar...
No. Follow me on Twitter, BillyHotTakes.
BillyFootball... DM me there.
BillyFootballPMT at gmail.com. Yes.
Instagram's B1LLYFootball. All oh all right now you're just gonna get them everywhere

all right well at least i got it to rach all right so uh fire fest of the week hank last night i got

a pizza but not a delivery pizza di giorno uh made it in my oven took it out was starving

it's a process you know like 25 30 minutes to get it get it finished and i was starving when i put

it in so i was just waiting for it to come out finally got it out cut it open had the little

Thank you. Tongue or roof of your mouth burn? Roof of your mouth because it's still...
Yeah. Everything I eat, I just feel this burn on the top of my mouth.
That's really tough. It was the hot cheese that got you? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, the hot cheese. No toppings.
It'll stick there for a little bit. You were doing a little research.
Yeah. Fuck.
And you were closing your eyes. What would I love to have on this cheese pizza? What do you think is worse, biting your tongue or biting your cheek? Because I've been on a real tear biting my cheek the last week.
Whoa.

Or lip.

If you get the lip bite and then it's bigger and then you keep biting it?

Yeah.

And then you're like, no, it's not a herp?

No, the tongue bleeds more.

Okay.

Okay.

That's good to know.

Is that true?

Yeah.

All right.

Is there more circulation?

Yeah.

No, if you bite your tongue, you bleed out.

You just say shit and I just believe it.

You can bleed out if you bite your tongue.

Hard enough.

You can die by biting your tongue?

I don't know about that, but I bit my tongue once.

I was bleeding for like three hours.

That's what it's based off of?

Yeah.

You can bleed out.

I think it might be possible.

I'll Google it.

Yeah, please do.

Oh, man.

Yeah, that's tough, Hank.

So still burning right now?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's brutal. I can feel it.
Yep. You got to eat more ice cream.
Get away from it. That's actually a good call.
I'm going to do that after. Yes.
Take care of yourself. Take care of mentals.
Take care of each other. My fire fest.
Peace and love, baby. I've got two fire fests, and I've been a little bit public with both of them, but my first is that my apartment is just a complete and under war zone.
It looks like people are negotiating with RG3 in there. It's got the ceiling has been all peeled off.
It's got mold that's coming because the apartment directly upstairs from me has been having renovations done on it for the past, I don't know, like three, four weeks. So every time it rains, they've done something where it leaks through and the rainwater from the top floor, because I'm on the JV penthouse, no big deal.
It seeps down into my ceiling and starting to form cracks and brown spaces. And I got back from the shore house last weekend and I looked up at my ceiling and it honest, I could not recognize my own ceiling in my apartment.
So I'm pretty sure that I'm just breathing in mold 24-7 now. And I heard them them trying to work on it yesterday and it was seriously the sound of a man walking around upstairs and what sounded to be like 8 to 12 inches of water and so i'm just they're just wading through water i'm assuming that i'm just i'm completely can i spin zone yeah uh for all the drugs that you don't do yeah uh kind of like a new trip staring at your ceiling.
Good point. You know? Like, it's a totally new experience.
And it's probably increasing the humidity in my apartment for all the drugs that I don't grow. Correct, correct.
Okay. It would actually be, if you can maybe black out your shades, it sounds like a perfect environment for mushrooms.
A trip chamber. To grow.
I've got the new trip chamber. Yes, yes.
Yeah, but it it honestly kind of does suck because yeah what you pay to live in new york city you showed pictures it definitely sucks it sucks big time and then you try to get in touch with your super and your landlord and all that stuff and they've got a million other things to do with their slums that they manage so it takes forever to come out it's just uh if i don't show up for work one day you'll just know that the mold got me yeah okay my other fire fest is that nobody wants to come see limp biscuit with me in this room yeah but that's well i have a you you're gonna be out of town i'll be out of town hanks taking care of his mentals this weekend yeah billy and jake and liam just all just just ghosted me i gave them i take full accountability hand up yeah i apologize i extended an invitation to you guys to come to my luxury the text yeah you don't actually want me to come there i would not have invited you i know it was like a statement or is that a question i know it's like a polite invite to invite me so thank you but i'm not going to actually pressure you and go if you want to come just say that you want to come no it's cool i like thank you for including me that was nice but I'm not going to be like actually take you up on it. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Well, it just. You put yourself out there.
I did. But you also put yourself out there knowing two or quarter of the room was going to say no no matter what.
And Hank had already said no to me privately. And you knew I was out of town.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you kind of set yourself up to fail. Well, I would have expected a response.
Like if I was around town, I would have given you the courtesy. Thanks, but no thanks.
I would have expected a response, at least from Jake. Yeah.
Hand up. I should have answered and said no.
I'm sorry. Maybe my expectations for you are higher than your expectations for yourself.
That's true. If I didn't still have moving boxes all over my house, I probably would do it.
But I got to do it at some point. No, I feel awful.
Thank you for the invite. All right.
My Firefest is I am going to be out of town. I'm going on a bachelor party.
I'm very worried about that and the hangover that will ensue. But more than that, it's the Firefest that I am halfway through Outer Banks Season 2, and I just want to finish it.
I'd rather just finish it than go out of town. What time zone is this bachelor party? It is in central time zone.
Shit. Be careful.

I will be careful, Hank.

I will be very careful about this. Outer Banks season two kicks ass.

Dude, I just want to finish it.

It's so good.

Rafe might be my breakout star of the century.

JJ is maybe my favorite character to any television show of all time.

Yeah.

And I love one of the things I like the most about Outer Banks is they'll just, somebody will be getting strangled and then they'll cut to a completely different scene somewhere else and then they'll talk for about five minutes and then they'll go back and the person is still getting strangled. Yes.
They also just, no one dies. The premise, like the canon of season one was like, there's no cell phones.
None of these people have cell phones. They all have cell phones.
That's how they're all it's it's a great show the writing is super tight it's this isn't a spoiler but if you watch season one um they happen to just go from a shipwreck to a boat that just took them like two two feet from uh sarah's house yeah so that was that was convenient wouldn't you say the writing of the show is so strong that it doesn't even bother me that the show clearly doesn't take place in the Outer Banks. It obviously takes place in South Carolina.
It's a great show. I also think Rafe, they might be character acting.
He might just be high on coke the whole time. In real life, that's how good he is playing a cokehead that's lost his mind.
A murderous cokehead. I love J.J.'s plans.
J. everything.
Yeah, he does. Everyone needs to have a friend like JJ that's willing to go all out for him.
I also, I'm starting to get annoyed. Why is he John B.? What do you mean? Is his last name B.? Yeah.
But why do they call him that? It's B-E-A-U-G-H. Right.
But why? John B. I thought B was his middle name.
No, that was a joke, yeah. I don't know why they call him John B.
It's funny because somebody would be shooting a gun at them, and they'll go, watch out, John B. Yeah, right.
I love it. But Stephen A.
Smith is Stephen A., right? But if you saw him and you were hanging out with him, you were best friends with him, you wouldn't be like Stephen A. I think I would.
I think I would, too. I think I would.
I think it's a sign of respect. Stephen A.
But yeah, just don't watch the show if you've ever looked at a map or a globe. Or you like things like dialogue and plot lines that make sense.
Continuity. Yeah, don't.
Turn your brain off. Jake, you're Firefest.
So another salad related thing. Oh, man.
Yeah. So I ordered ahead.
What a sentence to start that with. Yeah.
On the restaurant rhymes with sauce jallad. No free ads.
Sauce jallad. Yeah.
Better. Yeah.
So I ordered my salad ahead and I ended up ordering it ahead to the one next to my apartment. There's one right here.
They said they had to order and I had to pay double. They wouldn't transfer it over.
Damn. $23 salad.
That's a tough week, dude. That one legitimately has the worst customer service I've like...
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to throw them under the bus, but... The people legitimately just ignore you when you walk in.
I actually respect that. Yeah, they care so little.
I think medium customer service pisses me off, but when you walk in and it's just like, we don't care, I kind of am like, you know what? That's fucking badass. You're aloof.
I mean, I'm there every day. So I develop some sort of eye contact relationship with people where they kind of know who I am.
Well, clearly not because they have a free salad. So I paid double.
Do you have a usual? If you walk in, will it be the usual, sir? No, because I ordered it ahead. There's like Jake.
But I agree with Big Cat. There's something almost French about that type of service where like, I don't know if you've ever been to France or experienced a Parisian restaurant, but you walk in and they're just like, oh, this guy's lucky enough to be dining with us.
Right. Like I'll get to him.
Actually, the worst was one time I went to an outdoor cafe in Paris and and they came over to me, and I didn't say a word to them.

They just immediately took the menu off the table

and then put the English menu in front of me,

and they took away the ashtray that was there.

And I was like, that was a lot of assumptions.

And they nailed them.

And they were right.

So I got mad.

I went to the store next door and bought a pack of cigarettes

just to be like, I need the ashtray back.

You showed them.

It's a shame because I'm a loyal customer there. Yeah, you are.
It's tough. It's a tough week.
All right, Billy? My first Fyre Fest is I'm sorry that I brought some bad vibes into the room when I first came in when I was late. No, it was great.
The show was awesome. No, it was actually a perfect peek into basically every Billy interaction.
Come in, blame everyone else, then be like, you know what? Actually, it was my fault. Anyway, that was my first Fyre Fest.
Second Fyre Fest is I forgot to bring underpants to the gym for when I changed, so I had to go commando the other day. Wait, are you commando right now? The other day.
Okay. Wait, no.
He's commando right now, and he's blaming it on another workout. No, I'm not.
Show us your underwear. What color underwear are you wearing? Show us your MeUndies.

I – you can't do –

HIPAA.

That's a HIPAA violation.

No.

You're not wearing underwear.

No.

I'm not asking you to show us your balls.

Show us your underwear.

Show us your underwear.

I'm not going to pull a George Kittle.

No, just pull your underwear up on the side.

Pull your underwear up.

Look what I'm doing.

See that? Here's my underwear. I started – Here's my is that I started- Look what I'm doing.
See that?

Here's my underwear.

I started-

Here's my underwear.

I started a new show.

Wait, wait.

Look, there.

I started a new show.

Wait, wait.

I started a new show, and I can't tell anybody about the show because I'm scared they're

going to spoil it for me because it's a really old show.

But it's a really good show, but I want to talk to someone about it who won't spoil it

for me.

The Wire.

It's The Wire. It is The Wire.
No. Yes, it is.
No, it's not. Walter White dies in the end.
Fuck. No, wait, seriously? No, actually.
Shit. But yeah, that's my other Firefest.
Brands King. Yeah, and it's lame.
No. But it's a really good show.
It involves planes. Michael Scott quits and then the show sucks Are you watching Lost? He's watching Lost Actually no What other plane show is there? Top Gun's not a show No It's a movie Billy's definition what you guys have to think of.
What show involves planes? It's actually not that old. It's like...
It's like it just came out. Yeah, not that old.
Five... Oh, Flight...
You said really old show. Is it The Flight Attendant? No.
That's a good show, too. Are you watching Catch Me If You Can? No.
Okay. Anyway, that's my fire fest.
Can you write it down? Everyone guess which show Billy's watching. We'll make this a real fire fest.
Fucko. No, please don't spoil it for me.
I'm really invested in it. Why did you bring it up? Like, every time I've done that, I've just watched the show, and then at the end, I'm like, hey, I just watched this show.
Well, anyway, back to... You just tempted everyone.
I did. Yeah.
Okay. But also, didn't have to show my underwear.
So there's a huge... Are we on to the recap? Yes.
So there's a huge debate online about LeBron James Stans saying that he could knock out Mike Tyson if he was training in his prime. Are you watching Manifest? What? What? Yes.
No. Yes, I am.
Yes! I've never seen it! It's not old! They literally just had the last season. It's 2018.
I just searched Show About Planes. That was season one.
I've watched it too. I searched Show About Planes Popular.
That's the first one that came up. It's really freaking good.
Okay. Anyway, so we were talking about how the Olympics is breaking a bunch of track records recently.
Wait, go back to the LeBron James and Mike Tyson thing. I'm pretty sure that was just bait.
Yeah, it was clickbait. LeBron James would obviously beat up Mike Tyson.
He's way bigger, Billy. Dude, reach.
He's Mike Tyson. LeBron James is like 6 6'9 And LeBron's tough, he's never flopped And he weighs more Mike Tyson has knocked out Mike Tyson is like 5'10 and weighs like 230 Mike Tyson's been in zero basketball games So people are saying that One of the reasons why so many Olympic track world records have been broken recently is because of two combined things.

One, Nike released these new track spikes that are supposed to be like having like Carson Warmholm said that it was like having trampolines on your feet. And like it's new technology and like everyone's copying it.

And basically it's like Usain Bolt's record is going to go out the window.

Right.

Someone who actually. Moon shoes.
Yeah. Like moon shoes like moon shoes and then the track right in the bouncy track yeah so i i i read about that it's basically and i kind of love this that every host olympics wants to break a bunch of records so they just make the track better it's a mickey mouse olympics wow but they do that every olympics i think like that's what i was reading that basically every olympic every host city and host country is like how can we make this legal but also break all the records yeah well they were way more lenient this year huh i think so it puts the legacy of a lot of great runners up in the air because that's why i'm not catching olympic fever this year yeah no but i'm fine with with the tracks different year to year.
I'm totally cool with that. And also the oxygen thing.
You forgot about that. Yeah.
Of course. More oxygen.
They should do a decathlon, but just for weather. Like running in snow? It's all the 400 meter.
The 400 meter is the only event. Snow, rain, hurricane, like 100 degrees, freezing.
That would be cool. I actually think that there should just be a Summer Olympics held during the wintertime outdoors like snow football.
You get snow track. Yes.
That'd be sick. In for that.
Is that it? And also you can't bleed out by biting your tongue, but there was a medieval torture where they'd cut out your tongue and make you strangle on your blood.

Good recap, Billy.

Sweet.

Great job.

All right, numbers?

70.

99.

I can't believe I got the number exactly. What a waste.

Polar bears and grizzly bears can make a growler bear hybrid.

It's actually really cool.

You should Google them.

Oh, 66.

Holy. Oh, I thought I had it for a second.
Can we get pizza? Yeah. Damn it.
Dave Grohl. Oh, 66.
Holy.

Oh, I thought I had it for a second.

Can we get pizza?

Yeah.

Damn it.

Grohler bear.

Yeah, get my pizza.

Love you guys.

Pineapple, ricotta.

Two olives.

Onions.

Love you guys.

Can we get anchovy, half anchovy?

It's also called a pisley.

Depends on who's the father, who's the mother.

Which one's which?

I think the father's the Pizzly.

The mother's the Grohler.

I think you just made that up completely.

Love you guys.