The 2021 Takie Awards Plus Blake Bortles, Blake Griffin & Brooks Koepka For Blake Of The Year

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, the 2021 Takeys. They are finally here.
The Takeys are here. We have 23 categories that are going to win an award, including

Podcast Listeners of the Year and Blake of the Year. I'm going to say this right now.
I'll say it on the other end of the ad as well. No spoilers.
Please no spoilers. People will listen to it right away.
Don't spoil it for everyone else. It's a fun thing that we do.
It's stupid. The takeies are funny, silly, whatever.
Please no spoilers. Let people listen.
But the Blake of the year, we've changed the rules. We have all three Blakes on this show to decide the winner of the 2021 Blake of the year.
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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by Coors Light, the beer to chill, the beer of the summer, the greatest beer of all time.
Today is Wednesday, July 28th, and welcome to the 2021 Takeys. Welcome, guys.
We just ordered a shitload of wings for the Takeys. I'm telling you, this is the most magical night in show business.
It really is. The ESPYs can go fuck off right off a cliff.
They can go suck our dicks. Hey, ESPYs, suck my dick in the back, asshole.
Yeah, we're saying it. Suck our dicks.
You know what, ESPYs? You pieces of shit. I think like five people watched the ESPYs this year.
We're going to at least double that. Yeah.
I mean, the ESPYs, did they happen? I don't know happen i don't know i don't care the take is all that matters so if this is your first takeies this is our annual award show that we do in the summer this year we actually were or usually we do it uh during the espy like week it's usually the all-star it's usually the week or the day after the home run derby or the day before the Home Run Derby. Yeah, All-Star game.
But this year, because of the weird NBA schedule, the NBA Finals were during that week, so we had a lot of things to talk about. So we are doing the takeies today.
We are very excited. We have 23 awards for you.
I think I might even miscounted that. So it might even be 24.
We have Blake of the Year.

We have Podcast Listeners of the Year.

Blake of the Year is going to be intense, too.

We came up with an idea to do Blake of the Year in a little different way.

In the past, we've just called them, and whoever picks up the phone is the person who becomes Blake of the Year.

There's a major wrinkle in this year's awards ceremony.

We also have guest presenters. Well, the major wrinkle in this year's Blake of the Year is that we came up with a dumber idea.
And it really was dumb. It's definitely dumber.
But all three Blakes are in attendance. So we have them all.
We talk to all of them. Get excited for that.
Should we do it? Should we hop into it? Billy, do you want to say grace? A prayer? Maybe a pregame prayer? Yeah yeah say some grace take it take any boys yeah uh here we go before we enter this award ceremony i would like us to all be grateful for everything that has happened in the past that we are thankful for do you know do you know a great year you know when there's awesome here do you know when there's that like people will use that tweet like, someone said this and I can't stop thinking about it. It would really be like that or something like that.
It really do be like that sometimes. It really do be like that.
When we came across the conclusion that Billy is a stoner that doesn't smoke. I can't hear his voice differently now.
When was that? Was that last episode that we were recording? Yeah, two weeks ago. Yeah, you are high.
like, Billy's brain is high. Just your presentation.
Like, all right, guys. You look kind of different today, Billy.
Yeah, what's up? What happened? Did you get a haircut? Nah. Say it.
Say it. Say the line, Billy.
Say the line that you said off air because it was so goddamn good. We can't start the takeies until you do it.
All right, let's go back into it.

Billy, go back to zero.

All right, all right.

I'm going to say three, two, one, and then you're going to go into the scene.

Because this is exactly what happened before we started the show.

Three, two, one, scene.

Billy, you look great.

Did you get a haircut or something?

No, I actually dyed the tips invisible.

And now we can start the 2021 tankies.

Just an unbelievable line.

You said that, and I hate you now.

He almost threw up.

Yeah, it was bad. For me to throw up because of a bad joke,

you know how awful it has to be?

Dude, a math teacher told me that once.

Yeah, you shouldn't repeat it.

You are so high.

He was like, no, I died to Tim's Invisible. I was like, oh, I'm going to keep that one in the bank.
All right, let's do it. So here we go.
Award number one, the Hacker of the Year Award. We had a presenter, did not get back to us.
Okay, so we can, at the end of this, we'll have PFT. I think this was yours, so you'll tell us who you were going to have present the award so hacker of the year hacker of the year the nominees are the uh pipeline that got hacked which i don't even still know how that happened but it happened somebody clicked on the kansas city titties yeah right the uh pipeline that got hacked and made us all pay more for our gas for like two weeks.
We were really pissed about that. Brogan Roback hacking PFT, which that was bad.
That was day one stuff. Hand up.
That was mostly my fault. And then the presumptive favorite.
I think this actually would be off the board if we had bets on the takeies. Jay Williams for being hacked after the Celtics hired an African-American coach, and then Jay Williams tweeted, the first head coach of color for the Celtics, and even more importantly, he is one talented individual who has paid his dues.
Now, if you have even like a very, very basic knowledge of sports history, you know that that's not in fact true. The Celtics actually had the first African-American head coach in NBA history in Bill Russell, and they've had like five since.
Jay Williams then tweeted about six hours later as it relates to the Boston Celtics tweet that came from my account a couple of hours ago. I did not post that, and my passcode has now been changed.
So wait, to clarify, this nominee is not Jay Williams. It's the hacker who broke into Jay Williams' account.
Correct. Could have been his kid.
Could have been an intern. Could have been someone from Russia.
Who knows? Still at large. All right.
Drum roll. We don't do this forever.
Who would have announced it? It was going to be Jay Williams. Jay Williams is on Cameo.
He has not responded yet. Damn.
And I was going to have Jay Williams give the award to the people that broke into the pipeline. Yes.
And then it turns out, oops, Jay Williams Cameo account got hacked. So the winner is the hacker of Jay Williams.
Congratulations. You have now won.
I'm sure that person is listening right now. You have won the first takey of 2021.
Great award. Listen to me, you son of a bitch.
We haven't forgotten about you. I still...
Wow, we were at the Islanders game for that moment. It was incredible.
Everybody was laughing. You can't get that wrong as a basketball analyst.
It honestly reminded me of that Sunday night baseball game where they found out that Bin Laden had just been shot and whispers going through the crowd and people clapping. That's what was happening at the Islanders game, but it was just people showing each other, Jay Williams, I got hacked tweet.
Yes, and just an all-time hacking, an all-time fuck-up on his part. We will find it, just like OJ.
Every day he wakes up and he looks for that killer. We're looking for Jay Williams' hacker.
We're coming, you son of a bitch. We're going to get his ass.
We got Coney, you're next. I hope that his hacker doesn't have COVID and can't go outside, so we can't find him.
But maybe he does. Yep.
The second award of the night. This one is a new award in Takey's lore.
It's for worst dog of the year. We love most dogs on this podcast.
There are a few that we don't. The nominees for worst dog of the year are Dogecoin.
Anytime Elon Musk doesn't tweet about it. Which, that dog sucks.
That dog currently sucks. When Elon Musk doesn't tweet about it.
Correct, and he hasn't tweeted about it for a while. Do the tweet, Elon.
Do the Doge tweet, Elon, please. I've lost a lot of money recently.
The second nominee is Leroy for dying. The third nominee for worst dog of the year is Major Biden.
And the fourth nominee for worst dog of the year is the Water Dogs Lacrosse Club. I actually were so stupid that I don't even know who wins this award, even though we put this all together.
But I would like to make a last-minute plea for the Waterdogs Lacrosse Club because they do suck. Even though they had a bye week, even though they're in second place, I know what they're doing.
They're just getting to a point where we start believing in them, and we get so hyped up for the playoffs, only to have them stop shooting the ball and lose by a million. So I know they suck.
They're 500 right now. Them calling themselves like we're in first place, that's like our football team or the Bears this season.
Listen, we're not going to apologize for winning. However, we're realists about the future of the World Dogs Club.
You just gave a look of like you don't believe me. Well, no, I'm just saying because Jake's announcing the game this weekend, so a lot more AWLs will be watching.
If they put on a show, then we're all going to get convinced they're going to win the whole thing. Okay, good point.
The whole season's, for me at least, on Saturday. Yeah, but that's because that's the one game you're going to watch this season.
Yeah, it's going to make or break for this game. Speaking for everyone, Hank thinks that this game is the most important as experts when

it comes to motivating our players i think we got to give it to the water dogs then because then

this weekend okay i love it they'll be in double revenge mode coming at us coming at jake fuck

you water dogs you pieces of shit you are the worst dogs of the year who was supposed to win

uh i actually had water dogs highlight oh fuck yes all right fuck you water dogs and you had

another swing and a miss for the presenter okay we don't on this one say that every time okay

Yeah, because we have like three oh no no he'll get back to us who is it what's it it's all right no he won't get back to us he will he's a piece of shit i told him that the peace stands for piece of shit tweet at pete everyone tweeted pete uh whether he was included in this show not, all business Pete, he is giving away free Madden codes for the rest of the summer. All right.
Next up, the Retirement of the Year Award. So we had some retirements.
We had some people walk away from the game. I think I did it every Sunday or Monday after NFL weekend, But I'm not nominated.
The nominees are Coach Roy Williams for his classy retirement after getting pasted by Wisconsin in the tournament. First time ever losing in the first round, whatever.
That's not a big deal. Roy Williams, classy retirement.
Now, Roy Williams, he said that he was going to come back for another year and that he was going to take a victory lap. No, no, no, no, no, no.
He's just walking away? He is just walking away. So when he says he's retiring, he means he's retiring right now.
Correct. Okay.
We're taping this on Sunday for Wednesday. I'll just call my shot.
Aaron Rodgers should have been nominated. Okay.
Julian Edelman has retired has retired classy retirement uh went out with a classy thirst trap where he looked hot sitting in the 50 yard line at gillette looked awesome julian edelman's a nominee and then of course coach k which i'm gonna call my shot i'm gonna say coach k is gonna win it this year and he's to win it next year when he actually does retire because Coach K has said that he's going to retire, but he needs everyone to suck his dick for an entire year before he actually retires. And he could probably be talked into coming back if his young players go into his office, and they're like, Coach K, we want to play one more year with you.
Then he could have a dynasty of retirement. I could see it.
He does a press conference. He's like, John shire came to me and said that he's just not ready to take over the team then they show john shire he's got a red dot because someone's got a sniper rifle yeah his coach k's wife's sitting in the rafters with a sniper rifle right at his head we're gonna do co-head coaches for a year yeah right just really take the training wheels and then next year i'll just do the acc season for the games that we probably are going to win.
Yeah, the ones that we're favored in at home, I'll take care of those. Yeah, exactly.
And maybe the following year, what was the guy's name? Pete Gaudette, who took all of his losses in 1994, which has never been done before. Maybe in four years from now, Coach K will just take the wins and bring back Pete, and he'll do the losses.
And what could also happen is Shire takes over, stinks it up for the first half of the season, and Coach K is like, I'm your knight in shining armor. Sure, I'll come back.
And immediately boots him out. I'll come back and I'll give a speech, and then we'll put that on my record.
And then he'll retire again at the end of that year. Seriously, just going to throw that out there just so people remember that coach k had a medical issue one year the duke blue devils had a terrible terrible year coach k didn't take any of the losses pete gadette took the losses and then coach k like 10 years later said yeah i probably should have taken the losses but whatever i don't know anyone at duke that could possibly there.
There's nothing he can do. It's out of my hands.

All right.

So we have a special guest to present this award.

Jake, hit it.

Hey, everyone.

This is Sheldon Williams.

The 2021 takey for retirement of the year is none other than the greatest basketball mind to ever walk the planet.

Yes, Mike, Coach K. Krzyzewski.
Congratulations, Coach. I thought he was going to say Roy Williams.
Very high praise. Greg Popovich.
Bill Jackson. His kids with Candace Parker, those are just going to be the best rebounders of all time, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Just eating up boards. All right,, Coach K, congratulations, Coach K, for winning the first of what should be a dynasty of retirements of the year.
You should be the studio audience. Yeah.
Clap it up. Because, again, he is eligible next year.
Yeah. Because he will officially retire next year.
I'll just say this. It's going to be a disappointment if he doesn't win back-to-back.
Like, right now, he's primed. He's a prime yeah to go on a nice little run here i think brady's pretty much the only one who could retire over the top of him uh i could also see aaron rogers pull back to back too he was this year yeah but he might go back to back oh come out and then come back aaron rogers he's so competitive he might see that roy or that that coach k is set up to go on like a three out of five run and fake retire a couple times just to beat him.
Yep. Okay, make sure you put nominees to Aaron Rodgers, who's an official nominee this year.
Okay, the fourth award of the night is going to 19-year-old of the year. Ooh.
This is the fourth year in a row that I think we've had this award. Yes.
19-year-old of the year. It was a stacked field this year.
We've got Jason Tatum. Okay.
He's a young 19. Okay.
Mbappe won a World Cup, choked in the Euros. He's still 19.
Big choke. And then Lil Sas, Lil Sasquatch.
King of New York. The king, the one and only.
People forget that he's the king of New York. He's got a great new podcast out that you guys should download and listen to.
It's really good for a 19-year-old son of a boy dad. The winner goes to...
How you doing, Alls? It's Big Time Tommy. And I'm happy to announce that the boy who doesn't miss, a.k.a.
Little Sasquatch, is the winner of 19-year-old of the year due to his Coverage of Bryce Hall. And Josh Richards social life.
Congratulations. Congratulations.
Yes. The 19 year old of the year award.
Congratulations. From big time Tommy.
And pardon my take. You are now.
The new recipient of some kind of trophy.

I hope you get one.

Stay old school, my friend.

Oh, as for life.

Take it.

Wow.

Wow.

A little Sasquatch. And in no way did we just put that in and give him the award so that he would retweet

this podcast.

Yeah, no, that definitely didn't happen.

Also, shout out our guy, Big Time Tommy. That definitely wasn't Uncle Chaps.
It was Big Time Tommy. Appreciate you announcing that.
Thank you, Big Time Tommy. And a great...
That was motivational, what he said, too. It was wonderful.
It was. Yeah, it was poetic.
Fantastic. I hope Big Time Tommy didn't let his dog kill his cat.
Yeah, that would have... Okay.
Yeah. I didn't say it.
PFT said it. We should have nominated.
Everyone snitch tags me for that. Snitch tag PFT on that one.
We should have nominated Chaps' dog as worst dog. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, I think that was two years ago.
I'll double check with him. I'll get the details.
Billy, you're going to clap? You can clap. All right.
Nice. Nice.
All right. Next up.
Next up, we have Apology of the Year. Now, this was a very, very tight race.
This was an incredible class this year. Some great apologies.
So we'll start with the apology. Now, you probably didn't expect to see this guy in here, but Urban Meyer did apologize this year.
For hiring the Iowa coach. Yes, he said, so he hired Chris Doyle as strength and conditioning coach.
He then fired him, like, I don't know, two days later after the backlash. And Urban Meyer said that he accepted his resignation.
And he said, we are responsible for all aspects of our program. And in in retrospect should have given greater consideration to how his appointment may have affected all involved.
We wish him the best as he moves forward in his career. So Urban Meyer with a good apology for him.
I feel like he's well on his way to earning the Lifetime Achievement and Apologizing Award. Yes, that was a for him, that was a great apology.
Uh, the presumptive favorite Tom Brenneman with an apology after his hot mic incident, which he, uh, transcribed as he said, I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith.
And there's a drive into

deep left by Castellanos.

There will be a home run, and so that'll make it a

4-0 ball game.

I don't know if I'll be putting on the headset again.

I still can't believe that happened.

What a fucking moment. What a moment.

You know, his dad's

on Twitter now. Oh, really?

Marty? Yeah, so Marty Brinneman is on Twitter. People were speculating it was his account but he never actually claimed it now since he's no longer on the air he's feel he feels free to defend his son yeah and so he's been like replying to people being like my son's getting real bad rap for all this real bad rap all the replies to any one of his tweets is just that copy paste and then there's a deep drive deep drive to left with Castellanos.
In a weird way, I do think he'll probably have a comeback because of how ridiculous that apology was, and he probably will never, no one will, he could have a career, like he could come back, he could be 20 more years, he will always be the Nick Castellanos guy. Like always.
It's actually a good thing for him, the apology became the story. No one remembers what he said.
When he called it F word, hard F. He's got a new job, by the way.
Oh, so there you go. High school sports in the Cincinnati area.
And he made a joke at his introductory press conference. Wow.
Okay. About his own drive to the deep left.
Oh, got it. He's back on his feet.
Cancel culture. Yeah, damn.
Another one bites the dust. Stephen A.
Smith gets Apology of the Year nominee for his comments about Shohei Otani. So Stephen A.
Smith says a lot of things, but when you know that he is serious, he looks directly into the camera. He did the serious Stephen A.
Smith tone, and he looked in the camera, and then ESPN did like four days worth of programming off of that. So you know he's sorry.
You know he's sorry. I love when someone fucks up at ESPN, they're like, great, now we can just fucking sell shows for the rest of the week.
And then they use the, they use the bottom line on ESPN and they run the quotes

from their own employees' apology.

They have

MLB, then it scrolls to NFL

News, and then scrolls to Stephen A.

Smith apologizes news, and then runs

the entire story.

And then lastly, we have

Jeffrey Toobin, who if you

forgot, was the CNN reporter

who forgot to close his Zoom and jerked off during a company meeting. His apology, I feel like people obviously remember the story, but they kind of forget how his apology went.
It was something. I went and looked it up.
He said it was deeply moronic and indefensible. And then he went on to I've spent the seven subsequent months miserable months in my life trying to be a better person in therapy, trying to do some public service working in a food bank working on a new book what does a food bank have to do with jerking off in front of your co-workers face and like going to therapy like i went to therapy to overcome my addiction to jacking off accidentally not closing zooms yeah or i'm working on a new book that i'm gonna make money from like what is that i just it's so funny when people use therapy as like this is my get out of jail free card i did something wrong but by saying that i'm currently in therapy, it's like when Riley Cooper went to go seek treatment for being racist.

Yes.

They sent it to be like a 13 step program for a week.

And then they brought him back.

They're like,

okay,

he's cured.

It's all good here.

If I jerked off in front of coworkers on a zoom,

the,

uh,

analogous,

analogous,

uh,

apology that I would issue if I was a Jeffrey Toobin,

I'd say I've worked really hard trying to do. I'm in therapy, I'm trying to do some public service, I sold the pile for $15,000, and I'm working on some new parlays that we'll definitely not lose.
That would be what I would say. I'd just say sorry for being horny.
Working on a new book. Listen, sorry for partying, guys.
I love I love too that he had 7 months to be like

I'm gonna get in front of America and be like listen guys

I'm digging deep I'm working on a new book

I hope his book's about accidentally jerking off

On a zoom call

I want to fucking add a wing on my Hamptons house

So I'm working on a new book

Alright do we have

Specials

Oh we do

Went off script a little bit

This is the one you prepared us for

We don't know

PFT and I are gonna react in the moment

Thank you. specials.
Oh, we do. Oh, okay.
Went off script a little bit. Oh, this is the one you prepared us for.
Okay. We don't know.
PFT and I are going to react in the moment. Hey, Lenny Dyson here.
Nails coming at. Pardon my take.
What's happening, brothers? My boys. How are you, man? Look, I got a little gasoline here.
I take care of this. You know what I mean.
Back on point. A little pep talk here.

Congrats on, by the way, Tom, for winning the apology of the year. Talky, takey.
Good shit, man. Hey, win's a win, you know, whatever it is.
Okay. 2021 was a big year for apologies, obviously none more than uh captivating than tom brenneman after he well we know what he did but um i like tom brenneman he's a gamer he's uh so what right did it happen anyways fuck that but whatever i mean this country's so fucked up anyway and number three here um we i'm gonna apologize for you guys for for calling kansas city the band there's a big drive to deep left field okay first of all kansas city talk about xanax a human fucking Xanax They get Xanax Come and save me You get Xanax But anyway Pardon my take I got you You've always got me One way or another Okay And uh Jake Thanks for picking nails To do this cameo Nails out Nails out Oh man He's so high That when you get to the point In your high experience Where the only words That you can say Are the name of the drug That you just took Oh, man.
He's so high that when you get to the point in your high experience where the only words that you can say are the name of the drug that you just took. Oh, man.
Lenny. Did he have a...
Was that a woman in his? He was just like, yeah, just smash this out. A little gasoline.
What's the gasoline? I don't know. I never heard a woman be referenced like that before.
Hey, listen. We gave Nails some money there with the, you know, cameo.
He'll invest it wisely. Yeah.
Wow. Sorry.
So Tom Brenneman, that was a no-brainer. I don't think he really had.
I mean, Jeffrey Toobin was his best competition, and I still think he lapped the field. It might be the best apology of all time.
All time. All time.
It plays forever. The Toobin thing was a funny instance, but the people will be doing, and there's a deep drive to Castellanos for everything forever.
Yeah, this is like... It's going to be carved into stone one day.
Yeah, this is like a year when the best movie ever doesn't win best Oscar because some other incredible movie was there. So, congrats to Tom Brenneman.
It was really a great year in Apologies. Yeah, it was.
It really was. It was.
Well, the sixth award of the night is Lenny of the Year, ironically. And Lenny Dykstra is nominated for Lenny of the Year.
Outstanding performance in the field of being Lenny. Also nominated are Playoff Lenny, Barstool Lenny, and Super Bowl Lenny.
Oh. And the winner is Super Bowl Lenny.
Wow. I think that when you have those three, it was between Barstool Lenny and Super Bowl Lenny.
Clap, Billy. Clap, Billy.
Come on. Come on for Lenny.
You won a Super Bowl, Billy. Also a revelation this year of just Leonard Fournette.
We love him. Yeah.
And he's definitely going to be back on this fall. Yeah, he's cool as shit.
Very cool guy. I think he kind of hates us, but also loves us at the same time.
No, I think he loves us. I think he truly loves us.
I think he definitely had that moment in his first interview with us where he was like, oh, these guys. Okay, they're too big of clowns to actually be offensive to me.
Yes, yes. And playoff Lenny.
I mean, playoff Lenny got my vote, but Barstool Lenny. No, wait, what was it? Super Bowl Lenny.
Super Bowl Lenny trumps it all. Trump's playoff Lenny.
Remember we were talking about, like, would you ever imagine yourself to be? He went from bust to scoring a touchdown in the Super Bowl. I think we had a special prop for him, too, in the Super Bowl, right? Yeah, and he did have, like, I mean, what were his? He had a ridiculous playoff run.
So, like, that was one of those nicknames. If you forget the back story, when Joe Buck said it in the 2019 playoffs, Playoff Damien for, what's his last name? Damien Williams.
He's actually on the Bears now, for running with the Chiefs. And we're like, there's no way that's true.
And then Playoff Lenny became something for real. And then Leonard Fournette, awesome guest.
He ended up with three touchdowns in the playoffs, 300 yards in four four games uh actually four touchdowns because he had a catching touchdown awesome playoffs playoff lenny super bowl all right super bowl lenny wins that uh all right before we get to our next one quick word from our friends at roback this is the roback award so r-h-o-b-a-c-k best performance polos out there. Use code TAKE on Roback.com for a generous 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week.
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They just dropped new performance polos that will have you feeling good and looking fresh. Roback.com.
Use promo code TAKE and you get 20% off. Okay.
Next award. Number seven.
The best load management of the year award. We have some good nominees.
We have Kyrie Irving who played 54 games in a 72-game season. Had a couple stretches there where he just kind of disappeared, didn't tell anyone where he was, whether he was going to come back or not.
He stepped on Lucky. Yeah, that's just load management.
That's load management. We have Joe Biden, because Joe Biden just hid in his basement for the entirety of the presidential campaign.
That was fantastic load management. Great load management.
It actually turned out completely opposite from Kyrie's load management. Yes, yes.
But I mean, we didn't see him for weeks and weeks and weeks. That's how you keep him fresh.
Gotta conserve energy at that age. Keep him in the freezer.
Alright, Paul Bissonette for load management when we interviewed him about two months ago and he had done four live streams in four consecutive days. Yeah, it was back-to-back-to-back-to-back live streams.
Incredible. And he also blogged, I think.
No, he didn't. He did a podcast.
He did a podcast. Somebody wrote a blog about his podcast.
Yes, yes. And then finally, our formerly intern, now full-time, Billy Football, for his load management for taking a month and a half off.
That was great load management by Billy. He's come back better than ever.
Yeah. He needed that month and a half to get his mind right, to get his chickens, to get his mentals.
So, Billy's a nominee. We do have a special guest to present this, so let's go ahead and do that.
Hey, guys. It's everyone's favorite Dr.
Johnny Sins here to present the so let's go ahead and do that hey guys it's everyone's favorite dr johnny

sins here to present the takey awards winner for load management of the year as a medical professional load management is very important for a variety of reasons which is why i'm happy to present the award to Billy Football.

Great job, Billy.

You managed your load all so well. which is why I'm happy to present the award to Billy Football.

Great job, Billy.

You managed your load all season long.

Good job, Billy.

All right.

Oh, man.

Billy, would you like to accept that award from everyone's favorite doctor,

Johnny Sins?

Did you ever think you'd be in a world where Johnny Sins is talking about?

I thought he was an astronaut.

Yeah, and he's in the Army as well. He does a lot.
He's like Forrest Gump. He is a Swiss Army knife of professions.
But yeah, that's crazy. I would actually like to thank you guys for allowing me to take some time off to get my degree and stuff and letting me come back.
I like the stuff there.

The stuff was everything.

He got his degree, but the stuff was

the fun stuff. That was it.

It's been a kind of crazy year for me.

Accomplished a lot.

Won this award. What have you accomplished?

Let's run it down.

I came back to Barstool.

I trained

for a fight for Jose Canseco. Then I And then I got my degree.
Yep. And then I moved out of my house.
Oh. Into the real world.
That is a pretty big year. You got to look at the winds and, like, you know, jam down for a rainy day.
I don't like what you just did there. You said trained to fight Jose Canseco.
Are we not saying that we kicked Jose Canseco's ass anymore? We did. We did, but, you know.
All right. Let's go haven't gotten fired yeah i haven't gotten fired yeah you've actually gotten better at your job i'm which is super hyped yeah well you guys didn't actually believe me that i was like actually like doing school every day and like studying late at night correct no because we saw your war zone streams every night for like seven hours.
Well, I had to have time off sometime. That was technically working.
Billy, one more. Let's check in on how good you're doing right now.
The chicken wings are here. Oh, perfect.
I get it. All right, so Johnny Sins, thank you for presenting that.
That was the play-em-off music for Billy right here. The wings are here.
All right. Hello? This is live.
Yep. Wow.
Yep, we're coming downstairs.

This is how important the takeies are.

Bye.

We just got wings in the middle.

Okay.

Next one.

PFT, that's you.

Next one.

This is the eighth award of the evening, and it is for League of the Year.

We had a lot of great leagues this year.

A lot of extraordinary gentlemen.

We have the Stool Streams Jingle League nominated for League of the Year.

Who put that one in there? I don't know. I think that is a fan favorite, right, Hank? I think it got voted in.
It got voted in, yeah. Second nominee is the Kentucky Handball League.
Third nominee. Which we heard on our Kentucky Sports Radio where a guy called in, and I don't even know if it can be considered a league, but they have an Instagram page, so fuck it.
Well, and they have a rivalry against Columbus, too. That's right.
That's right. Also nominated is the lacrosse league.
The premier lacrosse league is nominated. That's barely a league.
Barely a league. We are investors in it, full disclosure.
The last nominee is the Super League. Super League.
You remember that really had a moment this year. Yes.

The Super League, that Monday, that Sunday night, intense.

I honestly kind of missed the idea of the Super League.

Again, it's bad.

We understand football's a sport.

Everything else is a business.

But Super League would have been sick.

Dude, low key.

Imagine Man City against Barcelona.

On a Wednesday.

Like twice a year.

On a Wednesday.

Beautiful.

That's just a great idea for a league.

That's a great idea.

So we have a special guest presenter.

Jake, you want to play?

Hi, this is Joe Castiglione here to present the Takey Award for League of the Year.

And the winner is the Super League.

Congratulations, soccer fans.

You did it.

That was Bubba's legend.

Bubba got to put that in. Who's Joe Castiglione?

The Red Sox announcer.

That actually is a perfect voice for the League of the Year.

Jake, you've got to study that voice and learn everything from it.

You got it.

Who's your favorite voice right now in the biz?

They're all great. No!

Marv Albert. Come on.

Best voice. He's not in the biz anymore.

Best voice in the league.

I don't know. There's a lot.

God damn it. Noah Eagle.

He's a good friend of mine. Okay.

Worst voice in the league.

I don't know. That one's easy.
What's that fucking guy's name? Sisleano Fuck him Alright Wait What about Tom Brenneman? Yeah He's back in the biz Unless you're okay with everything he said Disavow Okay Alright next up Great league of the year The Super league I mean it's super It's an incredible name for a league It really is Someone needs to I mean the SEC probably should just beat the Super league mean, it's super. It's an incredible name for a league.

It really is.

Someone needs to.

I mean, the SEC probably should just beat the Super League.

Yes, that's what they've done.

Yes.

All right, next up we got Alpha of the Year.

This is a great category this year.

We have the favorite, the not that guy guy.

So put that in.

You're not that guy, pal.

Trust me.

You're not that guy.

Okay.

And you?

Thank you. favorite the not that guy guy so put that in okay you're not that guy pal trust me you're not that guy okay yeah you absolutely you're gonna get arrested for this arrested for doing what just like a pimple on the left somebody says something and you don't like it and you don't like it right is that what it is you little pimp not that guy guy i've watched the whole clip he was ready to beat the fuck out of that guy his posture was impeccable for an old guy yes so i don't know like he's got some stiff competition this year but as a newcomer in the field of being an alpha on the internet that's a strong showing from the not that guy guy yes uh we have wiley coyote for basically winning lebron james space jam 2 put the team on his back.
He did. He scored 300 points in that third quarter.
And then finally we have our beloved Jake Marsh for his best in the office speech. Drum roll.
I was actually supposed to get – I reached out to Mark Miller, the Bills fan, the Dallas is going down guy. He did not get back to us.
So he was going to present it. But drum roll, please.
Billy, drum roll. And the winner is the best in the office, Jake Marsh.
Jake, please give us a speech. Really means a lot.
I wouldn't have the opportunity to have this unless you guys gave me the platform. So it's a team award.
It's not just about me. Wait, are you thanking Hank for being so bad at ping pong? No, Hank's not bad at ping pong at all.
But if you hadn't beat him, then he would never have gotten this award. It's true.
Yeah. Did you know? I mean, obviously the answer is probably yes, but did you know you were an alpha before that moment? Did you know?

I was just playing the game, and sometimes the emotions come out.

This answer is alpha.

I try to win. Your career has forever changed from that moment.

You are the alpha guy.

We'll see.

What would you say was more of an alpha move?

Doing the, I'm the best in the office, I'm the best one here, or the step over?

Actually, that question's for Hank. The stepover was entirely more disrespectful.
Really? Yeah. No, I agree.
Wow. Because the best in the office is just like initial emotions, like you're just relieved to win the game, that happens.
But the stepover was just completely unnecessary. Yeah.
Totally, totally. Alpha.
Yeah, Totally, totally Alpha. There's no other word for it.
No, it really isn't. I was trying to help him up.
A great year for Alpha of the Year. Good job, Jake.
This next award, it's one that we've done every single year on Part of My Take. Yep.
With the Takeys.

It's a very sacred award, and we've got a great cast of nominees.

It is the Lib of the Year Award.

Lib of the Year Award.

The nominees are Chris Long.

Has he won it how many times?

I think Chris has won it three times.

Okay.

To the point where when they bring out the mops at a basketball game that say Libman on them,

people always take pictures, and they're like, oh, shit, I didn't know that Chris Long is at Madison Square Garden tonight. He is a world game that say Libman on them.
People always take pictures and they're like, oh shit, I didn't know that Chris Long

is at Madison Square Garden tonight.

He is a world famous Libman.

So Chris Long is nominated

again. He's almost like the

Meryl Streep. It really wouldn't be a category

if it didn't have Chris Long in it.

The second nominee is

Billy Football. Billy Football for graduating

from a liberal arts college

this year. And for getting the vaccine.
and for getting the vaccine and for getting the vaccine huge lib move also nominated such a lib move that Billy's actually told us that we have to mention that he got the vaccine because he doesn't want people to think he's anti-vaccine he got Johnson and Johnson also nominated is Cole Beasley Cole Beasley nominated for lib of the Year Award for refusing to take the Trump vaccine. Also nominated Dan Woken.
Just an outstanding year in the field of liberalism. He still thinks we shouldn't be playing sports.
Yeah, no, he thinks that sports, he doesn't think that sports should ever exist. He thinks that balls, every ball should be deflated in America until such time that Dan Wolkin personally approves of it.

And then Dr. Anthony Fauci, nominated for Lib of the Year.

Created coronavirus.

He invented it in a lab.

Yes.

He's actually from Wuhan.

And if you don't get to listen to the whole show, it's probably because the rest of it was taken down after this.

We can definitely not put this up as a clip on Twitter or Instagram. Yeah.

All right.

Do we have – we do not have a guest.

Wait, Jake – I think Jake have a guest wait jake i think jake has it but jake left where'd he go i got the alpha just he won alpha the year he walked right out he wouldn't say a word he went to go eat billy's chicken what the fuck wait what was that seriously that was the most alpha thing he's ever done all right i'll do an ad real quick before we get to yeah everyone wants to know who won live of the year that's insane that he just did that to us alright by the time Jake gets back hopefully we will have the answer to live of the year go right now though to 3chi.com 3chi.com to shop for Delta 8 vapes gummies, tinctures and oils that can be used to homemade edibles. Use code PARDON at checkout to receive 5% off your order.
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Okay, Jake is back.

We stopped the show for you.

You won the Alpha of the Year, then you just walked off.

That was unnecessary for us to stop for me.

Well, we didn't know if we had a presenting.

No, I timed it perfectly.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

For what?

Not having anyone?

He's outfitting us so hard right now.

No, it is to make sure there were no pauses for the presenters. Got it so no presenter for alpha the year no what did you huh what do you mean you were we did alpha that's no sorry my bad my bad god I got I kept saying alpha alpha alpha because you walked up you stood up you won an award you stood up and you won an award, you stood up, and you left.

And then he came back and told us that he timed everything perfectly.

That was a Jedi mind trick.

He was like, no, everything was perfect, which I just did.

We actually had a decline request.

That's right.

Lib of the Year was declined by Ask Gun Girl, Caitlin Bennett, to do Lib of the Year.

She declined.

Then I think I just said, get a Trump impersonator. So we don't have Lib of the Year.
But who won Lib of the year she declined i then i think i just said get a trump impersonator

so uh we don't have lib of the year but who won lib of the year jake i forget who even won lib of the year congratulations to billy billy billy's cleaning up incredible billy lib of the year That's right. I forgot you won this.

So you graduated college, liberal arts school, and you got the vaccine. Yeah.
Oh, and you quit a job. Yeah.
I didn't quit a job. Yeah, you did for a little bit, for like a month and a half.
Yeah. Thank you for the opportunity to be liberal in the original sense of the word Freedom So what do you accept your award? Lib guy Can I not accept it? No you have to Actually that would make him super liberal I won't accept this award Until everyone who's Had a hardship in life gets an award.
I shared the award with Chris Long last year, so what I might do is I might give him this one. Okay, nice.
I like that. That's great.
Also, this year you beat up a Cuban person who hates Castro. Wait, is that why you blocked Chris Long? Because you were trying to beat him in the Live of the Year competition? I never blocked Chris Long.
Oh, I forgot you did that. You got so triggered online, another liberal thing.
Yeah, he made a safe space. Yeah, that you had to make a safe space so that your snowflake wouldn't keep melting.
Also, wasn't it the Lib Cuck of the Year when we originally made it? It might have been the Lib Cuck of the Year. Yeah, it could have been.
But I think Cuck of the Year is actually a different category from Lib of the Year. Separated it.
Yeah. year.
Separated it. Not all libs are

wait, not all

cucks are libs, but all libs are

cucks.

So good job, Billy.

Congratulations.

Proud of you.

When we sponsored AOC as our first

NIL athlete, Billy was like, oh my god,

dream come true. Goals.
That's what he said.

He said it on the text. He was like like can i drink her bath water uh girl boss all right uh you should have done girl boss oh fuck billy you won that one too no hank won that i think i now have the most takeies of anyone in history you're cleaning up today you're cleaning up today all right next up uh

pft right no it's you it's me i'm all lost i i can't stress this enough jake just alpha'd my brain so hard by getting up and just changing everything i still don't know what he was doing i don't either incredible did you have to poop jake no i had to pee really badly All right.

Thirst Trap of the Year.

Big award.

A lot of people up there for Thirst Trap of the Year. We'll start with us.
Everyone in this room, we get Thirst Trap of the Year for the post of us playing Dimmy at Stu Finder's pool. I think women are still masturbating to that today.
Next up, we have Jeffrey Toobin. It must not be that good of a picture if they're still masturbating Yeah that's true They're still trying to get off They just keep looking at my fucking belly That's just overlapping My belly looks like it's choking my bathing suit Listen I think we all look good We look like real men should look Not like these fancy guys that Work out and eat correctly This is what real guys look like.
Yes. Perfect body.
All right. We have Ryan Russillo for the jumper that doesn't make any sense where he's floating in the air getting his shots up.
Big cat. He was unloading some pictures from his camera.
That's true. That's a photo dump for people in the world.
Jeffrey Toobin is nominated. We already talked about him, but his thirst trap where he's masturbated on a zoom call and then our good friend paul rabel for giving the game ball after a win which doesn't happen often there's a little pll joke for people out there aren't the cannons the worst team in the league place right now they're fighting for their lives in colorado springs yep yep uh giving away the game ball in his underwear while everyone else had their shorts on and most had shirts on.
It was very uncomfortable to watch. I didn't write down who won this, so let's decide it right now.
I mean, I think it's got to go to Paul Rabel. Who's the most likely to retweet it? No, it might not.
And Brasillo? Yeah, well, Paul Rabel, if he wins, it might not be brand- enough. Oh, should we give it a tie? A tie to Rusillo and Rabel? You know what? First to retweet wins it.
The picture of themselves. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, so we'll do a quote card with Paul Rabel and Ryan Rusillo, and it will say in fine print, first to retweet gets the actual award.
Yeah, I like that. Okay, so Thirst Trap of the Year award is still to be determined.
It's just shocking that Julian Edelman was not nominated. Yeah, I know.
He put a shirt on. Yeah.
He retired from having topless pictures. This is taking history, folks.
We just didn't give an award away. And instead, we're making it a competition.
I think we kind of did. Because only the true Thirst Trapper of the Year would want more people to see that original Thirst Trapper.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Okay. Good award.
The 12th award of the evening is going to the category of Premature Celebration. A lot of good nominees this year.
First nominee is every Steelers fan when they were 11-0. Yep.
Maybe the worst 11-0 team in any sport of all time. Yes.
But they were sure letting us know about it at that point. Also nominated is Ryan Russillo for adopting Chris Paul and making Chris Paul his son in, what, the second round of the playoffs just before Chris Paul fell off the face It was after, to his credit, it was after they won the Western Conference Final.
And I'll give him a little bit of credit that he has thrown out there that he thinks Game 4 of the finals will probably hurt him more than it hurts Chris Paul mentally. So he's at least taking some ownership.
But yeah, he was looking for his victory lap on Chris Paul. I think Chris Paul cares more than everyone else.
Except in game four. Will Ryan change his tune when it eventually comes out that Chris Paul was dealing with a wrist injury? Now, is he going to be like, I was right about Chris Paul, but I didn't know he was hurt? Yeah, we will see.
Yeah, so the winner of premature celebration of the year goes to the sons and four guy oh man because he had a moment yeah thank you billy yes he had a moment he became a public figure and as quickly as he came on the scene he left and he came on the scene with like in a ball of fury yes he announced his presence by beating up that nuggets guy and uh it's over and it's over it over. It's over.
It's over. It's a nice guy.
We had him on the show. We did a t-shirt with him.
Wish him the best of luck. Suns in four is over.
It's never coming back. So, what a whirlwind.
He had a moment. He'll always, you know what? He'll always be able to be like, hey, I'm the Suns in four guy.
Credit to Suns and Four guy as well because I saw on his Instagram when the Suns were down 3-2, he was playing chess while everyone else was playing checkers. He was doing some charity work, giving meals to homeless before they actually lost the NBA Finals.
He was getting ahead of it. So I appreciate the ability to see the whole court.
And if you go back long enough in his history especially on instagram you can see he's going to be just fine he's like a big outdoors guy probably didn't watch too many live sports just looked like he hung out on big rocks yes hiking a lot so i think he's got a good mindset to move on yes all right so uh great award great award to sons and four guy he will definitely retweet this. Absolutely.
He's got nothing else left. All right, next up we have the Bonk of the Year Award.
Big year in bonks. The nominees, Jeffrey Toobin is still nominated.
Is he not going to win an award? This is going to be sad if he goes home. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
He's being nominated for everything. PFT is nominated.
PFT had an especially horny year. I think it started with the Miley Cyrus, and it kind of was like a four-month stretch where it's like, hey, dude, just jerk off.
It snowballed from there. Yeah, I don't jack off.
When you age negative eight years, you get a new sense of energy and horniness. It was like Frank Thomas' testosterone pills.
i felt i felt like i was back in my mid-20s again yeah just uh and the ladies don't complain either all roads lead back to a sex joke that's okay uh all right and then lastly darren ravelle for his uh search for a random woman that he knew from uh what it was like a country club. So here's the quote.
I was three. I always loved girls.
Never thought they were disgusting. This was my friend Leslie at Woodmont Country Club in Tamarack, Florida.
I need help finding her to catch up. Guessing she's 45 now.
Well, guess what? The Bonk of the Year Award goes to, let's have a, we have someone introducing it. Okay.
Hey, this is, pardon my take. This is a book by Jake Marsh, and it's about Darren.
And I'll tell you, I'm, by the way, I'm Buddy and Jimmy's dad, Jim Boeheim. That's kind of wild.
Although they're starting to make money and more money than I'm making. Well, let's hope not.
But I'm here anyway to present. When I'm presenting the award for Bonk of the Year.
That's interesting. To the one and only Darren Revell.
And I hope you find Leslie that's quite a that's quite a different thing there I don't know what exactly that all means but I want you to try to do whatever they say and hopefully you're a good fan of ours and we're going to have a great We had good finish to last year. We've replaced some forwards, 6'7", 6'5", forwards, with 2'6", 3", 6'9", forwards.
So we're bigger. Got the guards back.
We got Jesse at center starting to really get there. And, of course, Barama's back.
So got a good team. Should be fun.
A lot of guys that can shoot, and

we'll see how it goes. But this

is from Jake, and hopefully,

Darren, things are good for you.

Oh my

God! All roads lead

back to what his basketball team looks like.

That was incredible! Who got that one?

I got that one. Okay, that was

incredible. Holy shit.
Jim

Boeheim, first saying it's wild,

then just being so confused on why he was,

what bonk meant, what Darren Revell looking for.

What was the exact quote?

He was like, oh, that's kind of weird.

And then just giving us the entire scouting report of Syracuse Orangeman.

I love that, though.

That's a basketball mind right there.

All roads do lead back to him diagnosing, okay, what are some things that we've upgraded in the zone for next year? Yes, yes. I was three.
I always loved girls. Never thought they were disgusting.
What a fucking weirdo. Leslie from the pool.
Leslie from the pool. I hope Leslie found out that Darren was trying to find her because she should have taken some protective measures at that point.
Yes. Like restraining order.
And listen, I don't know what state he was in when he tweeted that, but it was horny. Because you can't be like, this chick I knew, I want to find out about her and maybe see her Instagram.
He's trying to update his spank bank. Yeah.
Right. For all the shit that I get for making horny jokes sometimes, Revelle is actually the king of commenting eyeballs on an actual horny picture.
Yes. Sometimes of like an 18-year-old girl.
Yes. He does it all the time.
Revelle spank bank is just any girl that's ever laughed at any of his jokes. And then the Jim Cramer show.
And then the Jim Cramer show. Yes.
Jim Boeheim, what a fucking... Legend.
Is that... Only at the Takeys.
Only at the Takeys. Now, we know Buddy and Jimmy Jr.
are fans of this show. So I won't say...
No. And the next category.
No, I wasn't going to say what you thought I was going to say. You guys should invite them as PMP athletes.
Yes, they should actually be on the show. We should have them.
We should interview them. I was actually going to say, is it a bad sign for Syracuse that he's on Cameo? Why? Coach K is not on Cameo.
I don't know. Okay, whatever.
We'll move on. You know what I think it is? Because he did allude to this.
He goes, Buddy and Jimmy are going to be making more money than I will sometimes soon. Let's hope not.
He's already, he's thinking the names like this. He's like, wait a second.
I can get a cut of this NIL thing. Okay, go to Syracuse because then you can do that.
There we go. That's the good spin zone.
Okay. You want to do an ad before we do the next one? Yeah, before we get into the next Takey Award, I want to talk to you guys about Cross Country Mortgage.
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That's okay. It's a stack category.
We've got three great nominees for Canadian of the Year. First nominee is Biz, Paul Bissonette.
Paul Mistonette, excuse me. We missed those commercials, actually.
I would love to see Paul Mistonette back on my TV every fucking five seconds during hockey. The second nominee is the Montreal Canadiens for Canadian of the Year.

They put together a nice little run in the playoffs.

They did? Almost took home the Cup.

And then the third nominee for

Canadian of the Year is Lou Dort.

Ooh, my man.

Lou Dort, the Dortmeister.

The winner is...

It's Lou Dort. Fuck yes!

Lou Dort won his first takey of the year.

Billy, clap! For Lou Dort! Dude, the Dortcher chamber. Give it up, Billy.
Yeah. I fucking love Lou Dort.
Billy, I want you to give an accepted speech on behalf of Lou Dort. Thank you for accepting the award.
Wait. No.
Okay, he nailed it. He got it.
He crushed that. All right, next up, we got worst take of the year.
Worst all right next up we got worst take of the year worst take of the year so worst take of the year we have a few uh very good nominees we'll start with nick young in september 2020 said greek freak greek freak gone ain't nobody raising no family in milwaukee this was obviously after they got bounced from the playoffs. Everyone said, oh, Giannis is going to demand a trade.
That didn't work out so well. The next nominee is Barstool Sports for tweeting a picture of Tom Brady, September 13, 2020, saying, I've made a terrible mistake.
What happened? The Bucs went and won the Super Bowl. Wasn't really a mistake.
I have finally been nominated for an award for my diagnosis of Drew Brees shoulder injury. And then he went on to have every single one of his ribs broken just to run up the score.
I think it was 14 ribs. It was 35 ribs.
Yeah, he just broke another one. It was an impressive amount of ribs.
I learned more about anatomy and Drew Brees having his ribs break every other day than I did in any class I ever took. Next one is Louis Riddick predicts an absolutely fantastic, monstrous year for Dwayne Haskins in 2020.
I guess it was monstrous. It was.
In a way. It was.
And it was fantastic at times. It was.
I mean, it was fantastic for us. Yeah, it was fantastic for us.
And if that didn't happen, then he would not have been benched. And then the Washington football team would not have won the NFC Beast.
Yeah, that's true. So great job, Dwayne.
There we go. Butterfly effect.

And then last up, we had Emmanuel Acho for his take about, what was the?

Sha'Carri Richardson.

Sha'Carri Richardson obviously didn't get to the Olympics because of a weed test.

And Emmanuel Acho, in all earnest, like this is exactly how he thinks. I thought that he was punking us.
I thought he was trolling us. Tweeted, legalizing weed in track and field competition is all good if you're running in a straight line.
Legalizing weed in track and field competition is terribly dangerous if you throw the javelin. Where do we draw the line? We draw the line on people who've never smoked weed trying to talk about it.
Art, I guess, haven't hung around anyone that's smoked weed before. Yes, yes, yes.
He's never been in a room as Billy. No.
Just listen to this show once. All right, winner is...
I also didn't write down a winner for this. This is great.
I think it's Emanuel Acho. I think it's got to be Emanuel Acho.
It's got to be Emanuel Acho. This is actually great because we're now doing the takeies and voting on the takeies for the people to see.
I mean, who else could it be at that point? It has to be. It has to be.
It has to be. It might be recency bias, but guess what? We smoke weed.
We have a short-term memory, so we're going with Emmanuel Acho. Exactly.
Exactly. Shout out to Old Tech Exposed.
Yes, Old Tech Exposed for helping us out. He always helps us out every year with the takeies.
We appreciate him. Actually, I think I him because he gets all my tweets get tagged in it um and he's just like well he's joking and half the time i'm being serious so i think i've beaten old takes exposed we've blurred the line enough yeah right where it's like i don't know if this i'm gonna get roasted for an old takes if i try to old takes big cat on this right he's he every single time it's just like oh that's just Big Cat making a joke or trying to jinx one of his bets, which actually is a good bet by him.
But yeah, I've beaten him. The 16th award of this year's takeies is for trend of the year.
Trend of the year. A lot of hot trends this year.
A lot of stuff that we're keeping our eyes on as a podcast. Staying on the bleeding edge of all the stuff the kids kids are doing and saying and wearing we're probably the hippest podcast in the world so the nominees for trend of the year are cap saying that's cap brought to you by it went away for a little bit but then cap came back with a vengeance this year short shorts is nominated yeah trend of the year five inch inseams right hank fuck those also short shorts on girls where they wear the t-shirt that just way oversized covers everything up i wish i could do that i think those um the the shorts that say just like cheer across the back yeah i think those are coming back yeah that's my i'm shooting my shot for next year uh also not well no i've been saying that for the last like five years yeah i'm just saying i I've always thought it whenever you saw that.
That it's horny? Yeah. I just like reading, Hank.
Yeah. You're just like, you know what I want to see? I want to see a bunch of chicks wear something on their ass that I can read.
I like words. Yeah.
And if someone says something to me, I can be like, no, I was just reading. Yeah, they should put novels on the back.
It's the bonkiest. Everyone gets smarter.
Also nominated for trend of the year,

getting vaccinated.

Getting vaccinated and then

not posting about it on social

media. Yep.
Also shout out, Billy.

Another trend of the year that's nominated

this year is being choogy.

Chogy took the world by storm

this year when some chick made a

TikTok about it and then another chick wrote

about it in the New York Times. Yep.
And then now

it's massive and everyone's saying it.

Yes. So the winner of

Thank you. this year when some chick made a tiktok about it and then another chick wrote about it in the new york times yep and then now now it's massive and everyone's saying it yes so the winner of trend of the year is being chuggy no that's cap that's cap that's cap what i just capped holy it's not it's not chuggy it's being it's capping cap is the trend of the year.
No cap. All right.

What a twist.

Congratulations.

Unbelievable run for cap.

You willed it to victory.

Listen, cap.

You brought it across the finish line.

Cap came back big time.

And I think, did I start bringing cap back because you guys were accusing me of being horny?

No, you just brought it back because I think you thought.

Well, you didn't bring it back.

You discovered it.

Yeah, you discovered it. And then you tried to be like.
You played it off as like, no, I knew, and then you tried to bring it back. And you beat us down with it, and now it's back.
No, I did know that it was a thing, and then we stopped talking about it, and then Cap came back. I was in the middle of spin zoning against something else, which is why I brought Cap back, but I'm having a hard time.
I think I was being horny. It might have been.
I mean, it's either horny or being cap. Those are the two states of PFT.
All right. Next up, we have Monday reading of the year.
The Monday reading of the year, the nominees are, we have the Waffle House reading, the Waffle House fight fight reading we have the choogie article that pft just mentioned from new york times we have the disney immersion monday reading and guess what you know what we're gonna do we're gonna put it in the show we're gonna put the monday reading the winner in the show so here it is so we have this post called, My boyfriend keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House. Here's how it starts.
I know this sounds really weird, but here it is. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years.
We met and started dating when we were both in graduate school. That's actually a good note to have there.
They have advanced past bachelor's degree, but I dropped out to go back to college. I dropped out to go back to college to pursue a different career.
We are both finished now and live together, making a fairly nice combined income. Our income is relevant because we could afford to eat somewhere nice when we're out and about, but he always wants breakfast breakfast food.
Okay, real quick. First of all, let's not shame people that eat at Waffle House because if you're a millionaire, you should still be going to Waffle House on a regular basis.
It is the best night food. It's the best breakfast food.
It's drunk food. It's great.
Waffle House is one of America's finest institutions. She goes on to say, when he was a child, his dad couldn't stand eating breakfast type food in the afternoon or evening, so his mom would make him waffles slash pancakes, eggs and bacon in the evening whenever his dad was busy or out of town.
It's a wonderful and safe memory for him, and when he goes to his happy place, he says that's where he always goes. I like this memory because it's basically the grown-up version of when you're eight years old and you say when i'm an adult i'm gonna eat candy for dinner and then i spoiler alert i actually have done that many times it is kind of a weird move though for a dad to say we don't eat breakfast food at dinner time he's just a rules guy that's that's kind of bizarre to be yeah i i don't like that i one time i was at a grocery store there's a that was behind me in line.
I was buying stuff to make breakfast for dinner. And the guy was like, are you making breakfast? I was like, yeah.
He goes, my wife won't let me eat breakfast for dinner. Damn.
And I felt so bad for the guy. That's really sad.
That is really sad. All right.
My boyfriend is an incredibly nice and caring person. I love these long diatribes where they just try to set up like, no, guys, he's actually totally normal.
And then drop the hammer. My boyfriend is the sweetest, nicest person ever.
Occasionally, he likes to fuck his mom in front of me. But I love him otherwise.
I'm in the best relationship of my life. My boyfriend sometimes likes to bring guns out in the bedroom.
Yes. But I figure we've all got our kinks.
My boyfriend is so in tune with my feelings. But every now and then, he fakes like he's going to push me in front of oncoming traffic.
I'm afraid he's going to kill me. Listen, I've got such a great boyfriend.
We're in the best relationship of all time. It's something I could only have dreamt about when I was a little girl he owns this island called little saint james and he goes there a lot with some of his friends he makes good money so we're doing pretty well we have a beautiful house in manhattan okay so back to the story he loves animals in his kind this is really she's doing the checklist of like he's not a sociopath he loves animals and is kind and gentle with every bug bird and pet that he comes across dude you don't have to be gentle with every bug yeah with a bug like a spider i'm gonna smash that spider murder hornet gonna fuck it up uh he's almost always willing to turn the other cheek in social situations where somebody tries to insult him or get aggressive towards him and usually winds up diffusing the situation, having a productive discussion about whatever the issue was, except at Waffle House.

By the way, that last point, you don't get points for being an adult that doesn't get into fights.

It sounds like he doesn't get into fights a lot.

Right.

Like this is a common occurrence for him where he should get into a fight where most people get into a fight that he calmly talks his way out of.

Unfortunately, that's not like you don't get to walk around like a boy scout with being like see this badge someone took my parking spot at whole foods i didn't fight him uh-huh that's not how it works my boyfriend fights using logic and reason he likes to use his words and diffuse everything okay uh anytime we're out he wants to go to the same goddamn waffle house and and get breakfast food. I'm not a big eater, so I used to not really care.
I would just drink coffee and read my book while he enjoyed his food, which is an awesome visual. Just like, honey, let me get in my happy place.
But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there boyfriend complained about his eggs one time because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard the cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs that's hilarious when he brought it up again the cook served him two hard-boiled eggs fun and funny very funny i think it was just part of the cook's shtick which who doesn't know a cook stick you gotta have one if you're a short order cook that's you know what that's a feature not a bug for that waffle house because that's the funny cook that fucks up your order and tells you if you go to waffle house and you expect to have your order 100 correct every single time you my friend are not understanding the true charm of going to waffle house it's like i want breakfast food they serve you a breakfast food and then you kind of yes it's kind of maybe uh the cook responded by giving him a scrimmage when he brought it up again the cook served him two hard bow legs i think it was just part of the cook's shtick and it was kind of funny to be honest but my boyfriend wasn't able to laugh it off when we left he was in kind of a bad mood, but we didn't really talk about it. The next week, we're out getting some shopping done, and he wanted to go to Waffle House again.
I suggested that we try out a different place, or at least a different Waffle House location, but he only wanted the same Waffle House, which, if you've been in the South, there's a Waffle House every other block. And they look identical on the inside.
That's the entire point of Waffle House. It's just a food station.
It's like being like, I want to go to this McDonald's and not that McDonald's. We went in and sat down, and once again, the same cook served his eggs wrong.
My boyfriend sort of snapped at him that he wasn't interested in messing around and just wanted the correct eggs. The cook then served him a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle with a fried egg in it.
That sounds delicious, by the way. Toed in the hole, yeah.
My boyfriend got really mad and threw the egg toast at the cook, which made the cook come around from behind the bar and throw it back at him. They ended up sort of wrestling fighting until my boyfriend was like, this is bullshit and walked out.
Nobody got hurt.

But the few other people in there were watching and laughing a bit. Well, here's the thing.
You don't want to get into it with a Waffle House cook because Waffle House cooks know how to handle themselves. Most of their clientele is drunk.
They're belligerent. It's late at night.
You have to be able to fight if you're going to be. It's like the most dangerous, the most, I would say the most aggressive, like self-defense capable jobs in America, I would put Waffle House right up there with like Blackwater employees.
Someone replied, the first reply to this tweet was, I went to a job interview for Waffle House and one of the questions was, can you fight? Yeah, it has to be. I mean, have you been to a Waffle House at two o'clock in the morning? Can you handle yourself? You have to.
You remember that story in the news like a year ago about a Waffle House cook that took somebody's AK-47 away from him? Or they disarmed a dude with an AR-15? Very dangerous. That's day one training if you're a Waffle House cook.
All right. So back to the story.
This is the crazy part. My boyfriend keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook it's almost a ritual at this point my boyfriend orders runny eggs the cook serves him some other version of eggs and then they beat the shit out of each other i quit going with him after the second fight but he kept going by himself they're like peter and the giant chicken from Family Guy.
It's the weirdest thing. They physically fought like six or seven times over this.
I think they're actually friends. Oh, they are.
This is just guys horsing around. Yes, this has become a friendship.
If they weren't actually friends, he would not be allowed inside the Waffle House anymore. If you get into a fight, I'm not going to say if you get into a fight at a Waffle House, you're never welcome back because they would have no clients.

If you get into a fight with the same person more than four times in a Waffle House,

then at some point they'll be like, hey, can you just come back when he's not working?

This is sport.

They're like, they basically, they probably text each other beforehand.

You're like, you want to brawl today?

You want to go?

Yeah.

You want to go, buddy?

I've tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it's a matter of of principle i've told him to talk to the manager or something like that but he just waves me off apparently the cook hasn't yet made him the correct runny eggs but it's like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my boyfriend off i think he does exactly that i'm on team cook here i want to get out in front of that he should i'm on team oh i'm on team both their sides because he's right it is a matter of principle but asking for an egg that's a little bit runny that's a tough egg to make not for a cook but but for anyone i don't know you could do it if you're a cook at a crowded waffle house and you've got a million orders going on making the perfectly runny egg is a difficult task so i don't i'm on team crowded i think this is the middle of the day when waffle says. If that's in fact correct, if this guy is going for a casual lunch at Waffle House.

Well, using from clues here, it's got to be a lunch or a dinner.

And they were one day going out shopping and then they went to Waffle House.

I think it's just middle of the day.

They're just fighting.

Waffle House.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know about that.

You either go to Waffle House at night for dinner or you go early in the morning for like a late late, just a meal that you have at Waffle House is called Waffle House. It's not called breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
She said he does lunch and dinner there. All right, so then it finishes up.
The thing is we're getting married this summer. He's accepted a job in a new city, and it'll be easy for me to find work after the wedding, so we'll be moving away from his sworn enemy Waffle House guy.
He hasn't really been out since quarantine started, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the first place he goes when restaurants open back up for sitting customers. But my main worry is this strange vindictive side of him.
I've never seen before that leads him to fight the same guy every week. The violence itself is an issue for me, but the obsession over it almost bothers me more.
should i be worried that this side of him will come up later in our marriage how do i get him to open up about this is this type of obsession a choice or is it indicate indicative of something deeper you need to cook him eggs and you need to cook him the perfect runny egg and see if he has any desire to stop going to that waffle house because if he decides to stop going then it was about the eggs this whole time if he keeps going back it's just because they're bros and he misses the human body craves contact right so he likes getting to a fight every now and again i honestly don't i think this guy is actually the most well-adjusted adult i've ever heard because he seems like a great guy. But having a grudge or a point of principle that you will not let up, it's like a bulldog with a tennis ball in his mouth.
Sometimes guys just have to do that. Sometimes you just have to beef silently or actually physically fight.
I have this guy who lives in my building who on July 4 4th i was using the grill the community grill and he came up and he moved my steaks over and put his own food on there without asking me i scowl at that motherfucker every time i see him i haven't said anything but i have a grudge and i fucking hate him i think if i ever get in a point where like he lost his keys and i have a chance to let him in i won't let him in it's a passive grudge but having a grudge and having a foe that you wake up in the morning you're like fuck that guy it's healthy a grudge not so much a foe is very important a rival right important for guys to have rivals you are rivals against grill guy i'm rivals with dk metcalf hanks rivals with the english language milk somehow. Boners.
Boners. Hank's rivals.
We were rivals, but not really. Oh, good point.
Hank actually declared he and PFT's rivalry over because PFT can't beat him. Well, I beat him literally 15 minutes ago.
I figured you out. My defense is too good.
My defense is too good. You still can't get an interaction.
Wow. That's not true.
Okay, so that that rivalry is over. But yes, having a rival, you see that, I mean, we're watching the last dance right now.
MJ just has rivals. Like, fake, real, doesn't matter.
Uh-huh. Having something to drive you every single day is healthy.
I do think that Waffle Houses are great places to get in fights. Yeah.
It seems like everyone is, you know, everyone that's at a Waffle House is ready that there might be a fight at any given time. It's like a UFC crowd.
All the tables have rounded corners on them, so if you fall, you're probably not going to split your head open. It's like chess boxing.
So I'm with this guy. I think he's totally, I think he's a well-aged, I mean, maybe the actual fist fighting as an adult is a little much, but it actually doesn't sound like they're fist fighting.
They're more wrestling, which is that's just kind of you're basically doing.

It's gentlemen's fighting.

No face stuff.

Right. Everyone's home for dinner.
Right. No.
Stay away from the groin. No one has to say anything to their boss.
Like, what happened to your face? You're just trying to you're just trying to wrestle each other in and like feats of strength. Do you think that there's an outside chance that this guy has a preexisting relationship with the Waffle House cook in a way that he told him, hey, I'm going to fuck with my fiance.
Let's get into a fight and have a rivalry every time I come to your restaurant. And then he just never told his fiance.
He's like pulling a big prank on her. Well, it could that that theory could make sense if he was like, I love my happy place.
But what really bothers me is my fiance demands coming. So he found a way to go to his happy place where his fiance refuses to go.
You know what happened? They go in there the first time, and he's like, this is, as you say, my happy place. For me, that would be a place like Buffalo Wild Wings.
You go there. You sit down.
You're guaranteed of a good time. She comes along.
What does she do the first thing when they sit down? opens up a book she doesn't even try to enjoy waffle house disrespect and so he's like you know what i'm going to get into a fight with this guy until she leaves and demands to stop coming because i listen i'm going to get my brain smothered covered and what is it chunked diced in front of her if that's what it takes to make her stop reading a book at a Waffle House. Yeah, he pays this guy off.
He tips him extra to be like, hey, let's just make sure that I can come here. And he's probably getting the best eggs every single time.
He probably eats his runny eggs that are perfectly cooked. And then he says, what's up to his cook friend? And he's like, hey, can you just maybe give me a noogie and give me one solid punch in the liver so that I can go home with a couple scratches? Yeah.
I mean, I love this relationship. I love everything about it.
I love this guy. I really do think that having a point of principle, having something that you like, one of those standoffs that you're like, you know what? Today, I'm not going to give up.
I'm not going to let someone push me around. When was the last time you got into a fight? Fist fight? Well, just like a fight, grappling, fist, that sort of thing.
December 15th. There it is, Hank.
December 15th. There you go, champ.
Not since college, I don't think. I'm trying to think.
I don't think since college. What about you, Hank? December 15th.
Well, besides that, outside of a sanctioned event. Probably college.
Yeah. College? College.
I got into a fight in Hong Kong, but it was was like kind of a bro fight because the guy was wearing the same outfit that i was he was shirtless also wearing the same color shorts i was and we just looked at each other and you knew it was on and then afterwards we were friends and we were there's no better feeling in the world that's not a fight than getting into a fight with somebody and then afterwards like in the middle of the fight you realize that's a fun wrestle you and i are more similar than we are different was this when you were high on ecstasy this was when i was high on mdma yes yeah okay so you might have just been kissing the dude rolling balls you might have just been groping his face no because it's on camera okay so confirmed not kissing confirmed fight though confirmed rass it was a rassle yeahassle. Yeah.
Also, isn't that like saying hello at a rugby game? Pretty much, yeah. Just wrestling each other? Not a frat.
Yeah. Just a couple rugby guys.
Just wrestling the fuck out of each other? Yep. All right.
So this guy, yeah. Waffle House guy.
Love him. I fucking love him.
The 18th award of the 2021 Takeys is for the award of the year. Very special category.
First time award. A brand new award in the Takey rundown here.
The first nominee is the MVP award. The Nickelodeon valuable player went to Mitchell Trubisky in that playoff game that we all remember with the slime.
Yes. What a time that was.
What a time. What a time.
What a game. He might be the one and only winner of the MVP award.
Yeah, it would be incredible if that were the case. There's definitely a conversation happening at Nickelodeon right now like, we can't do the MVP again because those shitheads at part of my take will just ruin it again.
Yes, and we will. We will.
We absolutely will. We'll try to get Mitch to win it again.
Yep. The second nominee for Award of the Year is the Award of the Year Award.
Oh, wow. Little meta.
In the first time it's been- First time nominee and the first time that it's been awarded. Crazy.
Taking the world by storm. The next nominee is Tom Verducci for having a Hall of Fame vote and sucking his own dick and making that giant video about how great it was and how seriously he took his job as being a Hall of Fame nominee and a Hall of Fame voter.
And then the last award of the year is Gonzaga for making the first Final Four of all time. They finally achieved that great award of making Mark Few's first Final Four.
Incredible accomplishment.

Getting over a huge hump.

Huge hump for the program.

The winner of award of the year goes to Tom Verducci for having a Hall of Fame vote and sucking his own dick.

Congrats, Tom.

Let's play that video.

Yep, great video.

And in those sweet moments,

when the one half of the 1% gather as one,

seated above all others,

that's when you truly understand

I'm not sure play that video for them. I think actually the only thing that Tom Verducci could use as an explanation here is that during COVID, maybe he was working from home.
Maybe there weren't people around him to be like, Hey, this is a really bad idea. You look like a tremendous douchebag.
But even still, someone had to edit it. Someone saw it before it came came out i think there's a chance that tom verducci was just like i'm gonna learn new skills during covid and part of those skills were i'm gonna get final cut pro i'm gonna get a brand new camera i'm gonna get a lighting rig yep i'm gonna get uh like essentially one of those slr cameras and so he got really into filmmaking for a couple months.
Like Bo Burnham. Yeah.
Just do it all himself. Yeah.
And this was the output. Yes.
Alright, next up. We have a few awards left and we're going to do Blake of the Year at the end here.
Coming up. All three Blakes in attendance.
This award is Ratio of the Year Award. If you aren't on Twitter, you don't know what it is.
Ratio is when someone tweets something, very little retweets and likes, and a lot of responses, meaning they probably said something crazy. The nominees are Kevin Durant in reply to someone talking about five years ago today, Kevin Durant announced his decision to join the Warriors.
Kevin Durant said, this shit a holiday now? 798 replies. The second nominee, Kevin Durant.
When someone said to him, relax, big dog, you're Kevin Durant. Life is too sweet.
And he replied, there's no relax, champ. No relax when I'm on Twitter.
I'm on 10 until the second I close the app. You relax.
I love that tweet so much. Great tweet.
Might be my favorite tweet of all time. The next nominee is Kevin Durant for his reply to Reed Layman's, who said, Those of us who are lucky to count Jackie as a friend are the better for it.
You should try it. When Kevin Durant was talking about Jackie McCollum, and Kevin Durant said, Congrats, my G.
Enjoy that. Which is an all-time reply to someone just saying I'm friends with this woman.
Enjoy being friends with Jackie McCollum. Enjoy that.
And then finally we have Kevin Durant in his reply to Nick Wright. Nick Wright said, No doubt.
Talking about Kevin Durantvin durant kevin was saying i think he was talking about ad being a switchable defender and a rim protector elite elite pull to nick right said no doubt those are all fair points these are tiny bits we were picking the more fun thing to do is an actual 12 player draft alternating picks i'm waiting on a flight and have time if your game you can have the first pick. And he just responded, I'm good.
That's so good. God damn it.
KD is so fucking good. Oh, and oh, I have one last one.
Actually, this one's a winner. I'm going to call this one the winner because it actually has the most responses.
It has 2,000 responses when Shannon Sharp talked about Kevin Durant saying he was misquoting Kevin Durant saying winning championships is not the end-all be-all when I why I play the game Kevin Durant quote tweeted and said you're all drunk uncle out here lying again when did I say this he had 2,000 responses to that Kevin Durant you are the ratio king in a good way though too because they all get incredible interactions anytime he hops on twitter and tweets i'm just i get depressed sometimes big cat thinking about all the great tweets that kevin durant has put out there that we'll never see because they came from burner accounts yes i want kevin like when he retires he should go back and publish an anthology of all his burner account tweets. Yes.
And I mean, I would sit down and read every single one of them. Yes.
Absolutely. The greatest writer of our day and age.
Also, the ratios are really hard to find because anyone who ever gets ratioed deletes it almost immediately. Yeah.
P-words. Yeah.
Yeah. Not Kevin Durant.
Okay. Next up.
Oh, Billy. Oh, yeah.
Good job, Billy. All right, up next we have the award for the worst prediction of the year.

There are a lot of really shitty predictions this year,

so it was tough to narrow these down. Again, shout out to Freezing Cold Takes, Old Takes Exposed,

for helping us narrow the category down a little bit.

The first nominee is from Kevin Singh.

He's a fifth grader.

And they asked these fifth graders in the yearbook, make a prediction for what's going to happen in 2020. And Kevin Singh said, my prediction for year 2020 is that everyone will live peacefully and they will cure every disease there is.
That's incredible. That's a great prediction.
Holy shit. Great prediction.
So that was actually from 2010. Wow.
Yeah. Called it.
Yeah, called it. Great job, Kevin Singh.
The next nominee for worst prediction goes to an anonymous scout, anonymous baseball scout, in a sporting news article. The anonymous baseball scout was asked about Shohei Otani and whether he'll be able to adjust to big league pitching.

He's basically like a high school hitter is what this guy had to say.

Turns out not really the case.

That and member Francesa, he had a good one about Shohei Otani.

Like he should never be a Yankee.

This guy sucks.

Yep.

Yep.

Also nominated is James Harden. James Harden, in response to a tweet in 2017, somebody said, Never, ever, ever, ever, ever leave Houston at Jay Harden! He replied, I promise I won't.
Hashtag Rocket for Life. That's great.
That's a good one, James. Oh, shit.

Just never tweet if you're an athlete.

There's really no upside to it.

And then the final nominee for worst prediction of the year comes from our friend Colin Coward.

Adam Gase plus Greg Williams plus Sam Darnold.

Anyone know where I can preorder my 2020 AFC championship tickets at MetLife Stadium? It's a great prediction. That's incredible.
Holy shit. Not only are they making the AFC Championship game, but they also have home field advantage throughout the playoffs.
The New York Jets, who probably should have gone winless last year. Yes, yes.
Great job, Colin. Incredible, incredible.
And the winner for worst prediction of the year goes to Colin Coward.

Yeah.

Good job.

It's tough to beat that one, guys.

Unbelievable.

Real tough to beat that one.

Real tough to beat that one.

All right, next up, we've got two, three left,

and then we're going to get to Blake of the year.

We have postseason that Duke didn't qualify for of the year. Okay, like a tournament that they didn't qualify for? Yes, yes.
So the nominees. What could this be? Well, the nominees, there are the NFL playoffs.
Okay. The MLB playoffs.
Yeah. The NBA playoffs.
The Stanley Cup playoffs. And the NCAA tournament.
Those are the nominees, and the winner is the NCAA tournament. Duke did not qualify for the NCAA tournament.
They also wanted to cancel the season when it was pretty clear that they weren't going to qualify. Coach K, I think he said we shouldn't even be playing this game, which he definitely wouldn't have said if he had a good team.
Well, he was upset because they lost. He thought that it was okay to play in-conference games.
Right. But after they lost an out-of-conference game, that's a real issue.
This is also a little note here. The second year in a row that Duke has won.
Oh. Or excuse me, that the NCAA tournament has won the award for postseason tournament that Duke did not qualify for.
Oh, wow. Could it be a three-peat next year? That would be incredible.
I mean, if this was Greg Popovich, they'd just finish in third place. So Coach K just wins.
Okay. All right.
That's a good point. Fair point.
Point taken. Maybe shouldn't have quit on our country and still be coaching USA.
That's also a fair point. Well, you can only lead him to victory for so long.
He's passing the torch. He's giving it up.
He wants to spend time with his family. He's still carrying the torch.
No, if he was still carrying the torch, we wouldn't be losing these games. But he's still working.
Wait, did he quit or did he not quit? He quit USA basketball. He's right.
He's a quitter on the country. That's even worse.
He's a traitor. I mean, I'm pretty sure he served in the military.
I'm pretty sure you heard that from Rico Bosco. I think he went to West Point.
Yeah. So he cares about our country.
Did he fight? I don't think so. Maybe not.
I'm going to assume that he has his fight. He definitely went to West Point.
Yeah, he did go to West Point. A lot of people have gone to West Point that are real idiots.
Captain Cons? I didn't say that. Whoops.
No, he's actually smart. Yeah, smart guy.
And a great quarterback, too. Great quarterback.
What, are you saying He's not a great quarterback? I mean, Billy. If you're the quarterback for Army.
Bro, he's D1. Yeah.
D1. There we go.
Boom. D1.
Shout out Captain Cotton. Cool.
This is ZBT. The next award goes, this is in the category of preemptive take of the year.
Oh. Preemptive take of the year.
Now, I have no idea what the nominees are going to be for this one because we're all contributing what we think will be the preemptive take of the year so we're just inventing takes that we think will happen some point in the next 12 months yes my nominee for preemptive take of the year is mike florio of pro football talk for saying that if richard sherman had an agent he wouldn't have contracted covid i just think that that going to happen. Yeah, I like that.
Florida likes beating that drum that all players should have agents no matter what. I like that.
All right, my preemptive take of the year is it's kind of cheating, but Max Kellerman saying this is the year that Tom Brady falls off a cliff. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's every year. You know what you're doing? You're doing a Max Kellerman to Max Kellerman.
Yeah, right. Exactly.
Every year, you're like, this is the year that he's going to say it. Yeah, right.
He says it every year. It's probably going to happen again.
It probably will. And then, Hank, you had a preemptive take of the year? Well, I thought when PFT said this, I thought I just came up with one off the top of my head.
And with all the conference realignment and stuff going on and all the NCAA and ILL, I think that the NCAA will be defunct within five years.

Whoa, I like it.

I like that one. So is the SEC just going to become the NCAA?

Yeah, I mean, it feels like that's where it's trending anyway,

where it's all just money.

They're taking out the administrative school part of it,

and people are just going to try and make as much money as they can.

That would actually be funny if the SEC got so big

that they took over the entire country. So instead of NCAA, it's like, yeah, Washington plays in the SEC.
Yeah. Hawaii plays.
It's all the SEC. Yeah.
Or like if football and basketball aren't part of the NCAA, like they might still do the NCAA like other sports. But if football and basketball leave.
Correct. I mean, if it means that we get to hear the SEC intro theme song for every football game, I'm in.
Yeah, which is going away. We should just remind people it's going away.
All right, who's going to win this? You know what? Let's do something special. Billy, why don't you give us your preemptive take of the year, and you win no matter what you say.
I think that 2022 is going to be sick. All right.

Billy.

Congrats, Billy.

Your third takey?

Yeah.

Put that on a poster board.

Damn.

I think 2022 is going to be sick.

Coach K did serve in the military.

He was an officer from 1969 to 1974.

Did he go to Vietnam?

Do you want to apologize?

Why didn't he go to Vietnam? He quit on the country. He didn't go to Vietnam, Hank.
After, by not coaching this year's team. Yeah.
He was in directed services teams. So that sounds like he was a basketball coach.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Last up before we get to Blake of the Year.
So here it is. The last takey before Blake of the the year we have all three blakes on reminder uh it is the tommy lasorda memorial still alive person of the year uh we have some great competition this year dickie v has been nominated he is still alive willie mays still alive even though barry bonds treated that picture where he looked like he was uh smiling next to Willie Mays, still alive.
Even though Barry Bonds tweeted that picture where he looked like he was smiling next to Willie Mays' casket. John Madden, still alive, even though PFT is trying to kill him.
I'm not trying to kill John Madden. I just haven't heard from the guy.
An honorable mention to Prince Philip, who almost made it this year, still alive. Yeah, I think that we need to just acknowledge the fact that he would have been nominated had he not died absolutely he was really the only thing you got to do to win this award is stay alive he did not stay alive he died yeah there's a that's a big box you got to check off and he just failed it croaked big time died dead hey guys i'm ted dibiase the million dollar man and I am here to present the takey, that would be the pardon my take, the takey for the Tommy Lasorda Memorial Still All Alive Person of the Year.
And the winner is John Madden. John Madden is still alive and doing well.
and congrats to John and all other celebrities,

and I would put myself in there as well,

that are still alive.

Yeah, I'm 67 years old, but I'm still alive and kicking.

Oh, one more thing before I go.

Always remember this,

including all you celebrities who might see this,

everybody, and I mean everybody's got a price for the Million Dollar Man.

Electric.

Everybody's got a price.

Ted DiBiase, 67

years old. That is

what's, I mean, wrestling

years, I think wrestling years and dog years

are the same thing. Yeah, yeah.
I think he's

the oldest living wrestler. So Ted DiBiase, that would make Ted DiBiase, real quick, little mass, 469 years old.
Incredible. He's 469 years old.
Okay. Should we do it? Should we get to Blake of the year? Hank, just real quick, I've looked up his service record, Coach K's service record here.
During his military service, he coached service teams and served for two years as head coach at the U.S. Military Academy Prep School at Belvoir, Virginia.
So his time spent in the military was spent coaching basketball. Heroic.
Whatever is asked of him. It would be nice if he were to run that back right now.
Yeah, still do it for our country. Get back to roots that we all love coaching for team usa okay here it is blake of the year before we get to blake of the year it is brought to you by our friends at zip recruiter zip recruiter knows that the general experience of looking for a job is pretty sucky that's why they figured out a way to make it unsucky when you sign up on ziprecru.com, you can create a free profile.
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Put ZipRecruiter to work for you. Now, here's the Blake of the Year.
year okay it is a momentous occasion it is time for the blake of the year we have all three blakes here with us right now via zoom and we decided this year we're going to do something a little different because there was maybe some allegations of uh uh using peds to you know robo pickups and and whatnot so we thought let's get it fair let's get all three guys here the allegations let's call them what they were I think that there was a little bit of jealousy but it did remind us you were like the Houston Astros of Blake's, Blake Griffin they were saying that you were using electronics illegally to answer phone calls so we're making it more analog this year so Yes. Yes.
So it's going to be with the lottery machine. How it's going to work is every Blake is going to pick a number.
We're going to hit the thing, and it's whoever gets it first. And we'll just keep going.
So it could go one round. It could go 30 rounds.
We're going to leave balls out, though. So it could get down to, like, three balls, and then you just got to hope the number's right but before we do that we want we asked you guys to prepare maybe a little speech as to why you deserve Blake of the Year so let's start with Brooks the newcomer still Brooks what did you do this past year to deserve Blake of the Year you know being a man of the people i figured um i might as well win the people's open i thought that was a good start good start to the year uh brought back the uh the 90s pitcher goatee fashionable that was nice and then did a lot of things for charity this year uh gave away free beer yeah that's true um and uh yeah and you two will be catting for me yeah so true true there's a lot of things and you know what you encourage you encourage fan participation in golf which is something exactly it's all about more yeah exactly the people all right that's good all right blake griffin you are the two-timetime defending champ.
So for anyone who doesn't know, there's been three Blakes of the year.

Blake Bortles was the first.

He has one title.

Then that year, Blake Griffin decided that his country was more important

than this competition and was, like, at practice or something.

Kind of lame.

But the last two years, Blake Griffin has won.

So, Blake, why do you think you deserve a three-peat here uh which would be historic um yeah I guess uh to really tell this story we have to take this back to uh 2020 um you know the pandemic was tough for us all and uh right out of the gate I decided you know what let's help those um who help us and so early on i donated uh to the little caesar's arena i was playing in detroit at the time donated to the um the support staff at little caesar's arena you know i just and that was just uh something i thought was important um if we're touching on charity yeah I held out on dunking for this moment.

Could I dunk?

Yeah, sure.

But I needed something to hang my hat on for the 2021 Blake of the Year.

So it was more of like, you know when somebody fasts to prove a point?

Yeah.

That was my fast. You're dunking fast.
Your personal Ramadan. Yeah.
I did it. I broke my fast this year for my campaign for Blake of the Year.
Yeah, we certainly appreciate that. Would you say that if you win three Blakes in a row, some people are saying that you might be bad for Blakes.
The league has gotten almost like a super team of Blakes, and it's not interesting to watch anymore. Would you agree with that, or do you think that it makes it more exciting if we have a three-time? He just joined one, didn't he? He joined a super team.
Come on. It's kind of my thing.
Yeah, exactly. I prefer the easy way out.
Yeah, I don't know. Listen, there's a good parody in the Blake of the Year contest.
I mean, you know, Brooks being a newcomer obviously hasn't got one yet, but Blake Bortles has won, and it's been a tough race. Brooks probably been the most successful this year out of the three of us um I didn't really accomplish much but uh here we are so I don't know is it bad for Blake's maybe but you know I think there's good parity in a weird way Brooks accomplishing things is actually anti-Blake because you kind of should just chill out like be good but not great you know it felt like he was trying too hard right yeah.
I'd agree. I think most people would agree.
I mean, he hasn't really won anything. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. That's true.
That's true. Well, he did win the British Open, but Colin Morikawa won't play him in a one-round playoff.
That's true. So he kind of won that.
All right. So Blake Bortles, our originalake of the year um why do you deserve it i um i didn't know we were doing the foundation thing um since that's what we're doing my charity golf tournament was actually just canceled you know because of covid but we are going to get that going again so we we'll get Monty back into the hometown.

I mean, compared to these two, I've done absolutely nothing.

I have an active streak, though.

I've written all this down. I have an active streak of seven consecutive trips to the gas station without buying dip.

Whoa.

It's hard.

I've managed to keep my hair from growing back and I, um,

you know, I had another kid, so, you know, I got that going for me.

Oh shit. All right.
There we go. Are you in a, that's what I got.

Are you in green Bay right now? No, no, not yet. I also got a new job.

Yep. In green Bay.
I threw give or take four touchdown passes during OTAs.

So, um, wait, give or take, are are we taking how many how many did you actually throw three to eight you pick a number in there all right there's somewhere in there under 10 i think as blakes you guys have accomplished a lot this year um all right so everyone understand the rules we're going to do this It's a number one through, is there a hundred in there? I think a hundred's in there. Is it? Yeah.
I think a hundred is in there. Maybe say nine, one through 99, just to be safe.
I can't remember if a hundred is in there and we're going to do it until someone gets it exact. And that person will be Blake of the year.
And on top of that, they will be the new voice that introduces you to part of my take when it says it's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports at the beginning of the show we've decided we're going to have a new voice over there so you also win that which is pretty awesome and what do we say Blake of the Year is going to donate $10,000 to us personally so that that's also something you've won. Pretty cool.
Yeah. So say like Brooks goes, gets it right off the bat.
Do me and Blake also get like, and then there's a playoff? No, everybody, everyone guesses at the same time. Don't worry, Blake.
There's no playoff. Yeah.
Yeah. No playoffs.
Don't worry. I'm fine with like a little bit of playoffs.

Yeah, like half of the playoffs.

Half of the playoffs, yes.

Okay, all right.

So, yeah, so everyone guesses their number, and then we'll hit it, and then we'll just keep going, and Billy's keeping track here,

so that will probably be a disaster.

But Billy is keeping track of the numbers that are picked,

so we can shout those out before so you don't repeat something that's already off of the board. I'm hoping personally, from a show standpoint, that either someone gets it on the first try or we sit here for an hour guessing ping pong balls.
So let's hope that one of those two things happens. Blake Griffin is the Blake of the year, the reigning Blake of the year.

I'll let you choose first, and then Bortles, you can choose,

and then Brooks, you choose.

So it's all at the same spin, but go ahead.

Say a number.

32.

32.

Blake, Bortles?

Nine.

Nine.

And Brooks?

12.

12.

All right, write those down real quick. Got it.
All right, here we go. 32-9-12.
This is intense. This is going to be terrible, terrible podcasting if we go, like, ten rounds.
I think it would be wonderful. 32-9-12.
Oh. First number's 84.
84. Randy Moss.
Close. Close.

Close.

What just happened?

Was there a ball that just went over there?

No, I don't think so.

Okay.

All right.

Go again.

62.

62.

19.

19.

74.

74.

62, 1974. Oh, 62 just crept up there.
62. 62-19-74.

Oh, 62 just crept up there.

62.

62 wants it.

This is going to be so bad.

94.

Okay.

No winners.

No winners.

Oh, sorry. Just reset.

84 and 94 are off the board.

Yes.

Two.

Two. 29.
57. I like that Brooks is really thinking about this.
Yeah, we're all over the board, too, which I like. There doesn't seem to be a strategy here.
Nope. Oh, boy.
Two, 29, 57.

What is that?

27.

27.

Oh.

Portals was two off.

Two off.

Damn.

Right there.

This really, we didn't think this through.

This is going to suck.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

89.

89.

39.

39.

14. 14.
Okay. BK, you want this one? No, go ahead.
89, 39, 14. Yeah.
Oh! Oh, my God. It's 68.
It's not 89. I thought that was 89.

I thought it was 89, too.

Holy shit.

Play good with numbers.

Almost with a three-peat there.

Wow.

Okay, we go again.

12.

12.

44.

44.

81.

81.

Whose dog is that?

That was mine. 12, 44, 81.
81. Whose dog is that? That's mine.

12,

44, 81.

And we're on round

five.

This is intense.

28.

28.

You guys haven't

even gotten one.

I'm looking at it. No, yeah.
We haven't even

got one. Alright, here we it.
No, yeah, we haven't even got one.

All right, here we go.

We go again.

71.

93.

8.

8.

8, good pick.

I feel like that was a good pick by Bortles.

I think that was a good pick by Brooks.

I think it was.

I don't know.

I'm just feeling it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

No reason to. 71-93-8.
What is that? Oh, it doesn't go. If it doesn't catch, it doesn't count.
Oh, 19. 19.
Damn. With the assist by 92.
Okay. 33.
33. 44 24 20 20 How many people do you think are still listening? I think all of them Alright, here we go This is the best podcasting that we've ever done 33 44 Also, you should probably go watch this on our YouTube channel It's probably way better on that Yeah 33, 44, 20.
Oh. 25.
Nope. Oh, yeah, it is.
It is. It's 25.
I thought it was a false start. All right.
We run out of room here? Yeah, let's take some of these guys off. All right.
Go again. 89 again.
89 again. 7.
7 41 Here we go 89, 7, 41 Oh, it's 0-7 almost Right there 93 is the number That was Bortles' pick from two rounds ago. Two rounds ago.
Damn, he's on it. He's on it.
He also picked 7 there, and 7 popped up. Yeah, it's like when you see a batter step up and they're hitting the very bottom of the ball.
You got your timing down. Bortles is definitely sniffing around it.
Okay. Billy, do you want to do a quick reset and tell them what numbers they can't pick?

So we have outside of the pool

84, 94,

27, 68,

28, 19,

25,

and 93. Do you guys remember all

those?

23 is a pick

for Blake Griffin.

Five. Five.

Ooh, his number. I like that, yeah.

73.

73. Yep, that's

still available. Okay, go ahead.

Hit it, PFT. There we go.

23, 5, and 73. Imagine if

it's 5. Imagine

what was his? Oh,

5 was popped up.

Dan stop.

And 87.

This is now we're getting what we wish for.

This is going on far too long.

Okay. Give me 24.

24.

I'll take 58. 58.
39. 39.
I'm surprised none of you have just gone with the same number every time. That seems like a strategy where you wouldn't have to remember what to choose.
Yeah, but that's, yeah, you know. Okay.
24, 58, 39.

71.

71.

Blake Griffin picked that four turns ago.

Wow.

Should have stuck with it.

Should have stuck with it.

32.

32.

77.

77. Okay.
16. 16.
Here we go. 32, 77, 16.
47. 47.
47.

47 is the most frequently selected ping pong ball out of this machine.

That's actually a fact, yeah.

If you had just picked that, you would have gotten it.

All right.

Thanks for listening to the show, guys.

I'm going 32 again.

32.

All right, so Blake Griffin is the first to pick the same number strategy. Yep.

Yep.

You changed it up.

Yeah.

I like that.

Nine.

Nine.

21. Wow, so now there's a little gamesmanship going on.
32, nine, 21. Oh, nine almost jumped up there.
45 is the number. No Trump fans out there, huh? We're running it again.

You're running it again, Blake?

Running back.

32 again for Blake.

Nine.

Nine?

All right, so we got two people on this strategy.

Stick with it.

21.

All right, 21.

I like this. Mmm.
Mmm. 32, 9, 21.

33.

Wow.

Right there.

Right there.

Running it back.

Running it back.

Everyone running it back?

Yep.

Okay.

32, 9, 21.

Just keep hitting the button.

All right.

So let's just do it.

Yeah, let's just hit the button.

We're running it back.

Those are the numbers now. 32, 9, 21.
First one to get it. Nine just popped.
Nine and 32 are up there. 65.
Hit it again. I like this.
This machine might break. Now we're being efficient.
Yeah, no, this was a... If we just keep it going.
machine cost me a thousand dollars would you believe that bought it from china came a little broken 41

off the board doesn't matter we're gonna keep going

the blake stuck with the same numbers and were unsuccessful for 32 more turns

instead of playing that audio on the podcast for 10 minutes we decided to do this voiceover

on the pmt youtube channel we will have the entire competition at full if you care to watch

Thank you. Instead of playing that audio on the podcast for 10 minutes, we decided to do this voiceover.
On the PMT YouTube channel, we will have the entire competition in full if you care to watch that. Now, let's get back to the action.
Big Cat and PFT take it away. Would anybody like to change their bet? Would anyone like to change their name? 32, 9, 21.
83.

All right, I'm going to stand up, too.

All right, I'll hit this next one.

I'll hit this next one.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, here we go.

32, 9, 21.

52.

52.

That's almost there.

We're getting close. We're getting there.
I can feel there. We're getting there.

I can feel it.

We're getting there.

There's an option to do.

You only have to hit it once and it goes like three times in a row.

Let the machine take over.

16.

Yeah, let the machine take over.

Alright, I'm going to do the three option.

Here we go.

Thank you. 16.
Yeah, man. All right, I'm going to do the three option.
Here we go.

Three option.

Are we sure there's a 32 in there?

10.

10.

10.

Anyone got a 10?

No, no 10.

One off. 88.
88. What are we now? That's where we're at.
What's the title? 56. 32, 9, 21 46

Alright, let's take a pause real quick

Let's just pause

How's everyone feeling?

Mentally drained

How many rounds have we done?

47

Wait, no, we have 47 numbers left? You counted wrong Billy counted wrong Fuck, Billy, what are we done? 47. Wait, no.
We have 47 numbers left?

You counted wrong, didn't you?

I counted wrong.

Billy counted wrong.

Fuck, Billy.

What are we at?

We have 53 balls left.

53 balls left.

All right.

I'm going to hit it again.

The three.

We're almost double the expected.

Yeah, I'm going to hit the three again.

I'm going to hit the three again.

Come on.

32-9-21 for Blake of the Year.

For all the marbles.

Here it is.

It's going to hit.

72.

72.

If you're just joining in, this is our first roll for the Blake of the Year.

One of the all-time misses by me and PFT in terms of ideas.

I think it's funny again.

32, 9, 21.

34.

Damn, so close, Blake.

Oh, my God. This.
Damn, so close. Blake Griffin.
So close.

This is way too many numbers.

The Blake of the Year.

Here it is.

The Blake of the Year.

This is the winning role.

The winning role is not 35.

Okay.

The Blake of the Year.

The Blake of the Year. The most prestigious award in all sports.
In all of Blake's. Will the two-time returning champion Blake Griffin have a three-peat? 55.
No. Will the newcomer.
I'm going to do the three button again. Or the original Blake.
Blake Borders. Only the machine knows.
32, 9, 21. 48.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
I just wanted to say I want to apologize profusely. At this point I just feel bad.
Drop the link to your charity. We'll donate.
I'll double it. I'll match.
I'll double his match. 20.
20. I'll double his match.
He's doubling my match. Hypothetically.
All right. Here we go.
Lake of the year. I can feel it.
Can you feel it? Yes, I feel it in the room. There's good energy going right now.
There's good energy in the lineup.

It is a nine.

It's a nine. Holy shit, it's a nine.

It's a nine.

Blake Bortles.

The original Blake returns to claim his throne.

Oh, my God.

What a story.

He outlasted him.

Holy shit.

Blake.

You're at some brilliant effort.

Can you give us a victory speech or something? The mental fortitude he just had was unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Thank you to all the fans, everybody that supported us along this journey. Blake and Brooks were incredible competitors.
They deserve everything they have coming their way in their future endeavors, and I'm just going to enjoy this moment. Yeah.
Incredible moment. Green Blake Packers.
I feel bad for Blake Griffin. His dynasty run is over.
Actually, no, if you win next year, dynasty's back on. It's three out of five, I think.
Yeah, three out of four would be a dynasty. Brooks is still, I mean, it's tough.
He's got nothing to show for it. This is brutal, yeah.
What are you going through right now? What's going through your head? Honestly, no. I'm so lost right now.
I did everything I could this year. And, you know, just not a mental Armageddon, if you know what I mean.
Do you think maybe you need to change up your strategy, go towards more of a numbers-based approach, or, I don't know, change your body in a way? Yeah, I could be. Yeah, I'd probably be more scientific with it next year.
I don't know. Yep.
I think, actually, if you had done that this year, you probably would have had a better chance because you were just stuck with a number right off the bat. I think you picked 12 in the opening round, and I believe 12 hit, didn't it? Yeah.
So, yeah, maybe it's a math. There's a good chance that it did hit.

All right, and Blake Griffin, your run is over.

I mean, this has got to hurt.

You still, you know, it's kind of like winning a Masters or something.

Like, you still are a Blake of the year.

You're just not the reigning Blake of the year.

Yeah, you know, you can't win them all.

You know, for a second there, I thought about logging off for Blake's victory speech, but I decided to be the guy that actually does the handshake line. I'm happy for him.
You know, listen, I think this will make Brooks and I better next year. It's not the end of the world.
Yeah, I think standing there and watching Blake give his acceptance speech,

that's probably going to be all the fuel that you need for next year.

Right.

The confetti's coming down.

You're watching it happen.

I'm one of the guys that's going to post a picture of me in the weight room

tomorrow morning.

Yes.

Already training.

And the worst part was you had 32, and I think 31 hit.

So you were basically – your toe was on the line.

Oh, I see. Yeah, so Blake Bortles, can you say it's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports? And that will be now the new intro.
All right. This is like now making us be at the parade.
Yeah. No, yeah.
You're watching the parade. Yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes. Don't go anywhere.
This is also, I want to say this. like four months ago i i changed internet providers for one reason to be able to answer a phone call faster wow and you guys totally changed the competition so somebody owes me like 9.99 a month okay uh say that uh this is part of my take by barstool sports presentedstool Sports It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Go whenever Yep It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Do two more Just do two more Just go over it like three or four times Okay It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Yeah maybe with like A little bit of energy bit of energy.
It's pardon my take presented by Barstool Sports. It's pardon my take presented by Barstool Sports.
I feel like that could have been it. Yeah, I think that was it.
All right. Boys, thank you so much.
We will talk to you later. We appreciate it.
Use this as fuel. Yeah, get better.
The Blake of the Year competition is now on. There's no three-peat.
All right, guys. All right.
See you, boys. All right, thank you, guys.
Sorry about that. That was terrible.
It was just the worst. Unbelievable takeies.
We did all the awards. Great job, everyone.
Great job to all the nominees out there. Great job to all the nominees.
Been a lot of fucking morons. No spoilers.
I think it's terrible to do this right now, but should we do numbers? Let's run it back one time. Let Let's do one more time numbers so everyone say their number and we'll send everyone on their way and we'll see you on Friday.
69. I'm sticking with 9 for Blake.
69. 18.
67. This one actually counts.
This one actually counts. Folks.
96. 96.
The Incas rode llamas when the Spanish showed up Because they didn't have horses Love you guys Uber Uber Did you retweet it enough Uber Uber you? As a listener, did you retweet it enough this year? I think it's time for them to take a good look in the mirror, Big Cat Did you support us? Do you support the boys? Listen, are you going to be a friend or are you going to be a fake friend? Fake friendships are over Good question I'm done with toxic relationships, Big Cat Same Sometimes, you feel like you give and you give. Look in the mirror.
Be nice. And then it's another mirror.
And then another mirror. And then it comes back through the you step through the mirror because that's the music video.
And then I reach my hand through the mirror. And I take your hand.
Takeies Five Takeies are here. Who will win? Best podcast listeners.
Could be you. Who will win? Me.
And the nominees are for Best Podcast listeners. The Dax Five Dax Shepard Let's get Lebitardin in here Stugat's Army Message Board Sophia's Only Fans With an F Bill Simmons The Billionaires Should pay for their own Fucking Spotify's Mike Greenberg Radio Show Listeners Please be me That was even boring how it was written Ryan's Kids, the Rosillo Nation Woja Simps, Adrian Wojnowski's podcast I think that's Woja Simps Woja Simps, got it Woja Simps Alright Who will it be? I think you're missing one Oh, is there? Who's that, Hank? The AWLs.
Oh. The AWLs.
Well, guess what? I'm going to give you 30 seconds to retweet it again. Yeah.
And if you've gotten this far to the very, very end, it's time for the parade. Five you did it again wow the greatest podcast listeners in

the world that is without a doubt we don't say it enough but we really do love you guys yeah we

actually tried to make it every year we put it later and later in the show we figured we put it

in the song all the way to the end but you deserve it thank you all we have the best jobs in the

world and it's because of you and uh thank you for listening to the takeys but you deserve it. Thank you all.
We have the best jobs in the world, and it's because of you.

And thank you for listening to The Takeys.

Without you, there is no us.

Also, sorry for Blake of the Year.

That was a debacle.

Love you guys.