Mount Rushmore Season Is Back, David Baker, Bucks Parade And Fyre Fest

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Twin Peaks is the best in the game. Here, historic rivalries tip off with shareable bites and every shot you take is a game winner.
I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar.

On today's part in my take, we have our good friend David Baker,

president and CEO of the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Also, just full of stories, full of feel-good stories.

Also, the return of Mount Rushmore season with the Mount Rushmore of teams that we'd like to eat and then a bonus Mount Rushmore to mascots that we would like to eat. And we're going four deep on these drafts this year with Jake and Billy tag-teaming.
We're going to talk a little Bucs parade, maybe Jerry Jones basically saying that he'd commit murder for a Super Bowl, and then Fyre Fest of the Week. Before we get to all of that, we're going to get right back to the show.
Mom, can you tell me a story? Sure. This is the story of Redfin.
You mean Red Riding Hood? No, I mean Redfin. Once upon a time, there was born a real estate brokerage that was also a magical app.
They called it Redfin. Redfin is on a mission to get people the fairest deal of them all.
Like in Snow White. Mm-hmm.
With listing fees as low as 1%, Redfin agents charge half of what others often charge. So you have more money to put towards your dream home.
And the Redfin app has a clever way of helping you find it. A trail of breadcrumbs? No.
They update their listings every two minutes and give personalized recommendations so you see homes that are right for you. And then you live happily ever after? Yep.
Time for bed. Mom, I heard this word and I want to know what it means.
Uh, okay. What is escrow? I'll ask our Redfin agent.
I'm sure they'll know. Download the Redfin app to get started.
Fee subject to terms and minimums equal housing opportunity. C-A-D-R-E number 01521930.
All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let's go.
Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence. And I'm not allowed to solve of work to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down down to electric. It's Pardon My Take presented by Ball School Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by GoldenAuctions.com. Go check them out right now if you're trying to get back into the card game or you're in the card game.
We're going to be doing a pack rip, a rip rip in a pack. I don't even know if that's the right phrase.

Later on this month. Today is Friday, July 23rd.
And PFT, I got to say, I think we should try to win an NBA championship as a podcast. Because it looks awesome.
I just think that there should be more parades in general. Yeah.
Parades really only exist nowadays if you win a championship or for an inauguration. That's pretty much it.
Besides that, we don't get out. We don't do ticker tape.
Maybe like a 4th of July little small town America parade. Pride.
Yeah. Pride parade.
Good call. That was canceled, I think, the last two years.
Why? It had bad tweets. Oh, got it.
No, but I think that we need to normalize doing more parades. Parades need to be like small accomplishments.
Let's fucking get out there. When we did the Blake of the Year, which actually, by the way, is coming up next week.
Oh, yeah. There definitely needs to be a parade for that.
The Takeys next Wednesday. We did give Blake Griffin a parade when he came.
We did give him a parade, but the Takeys next Wednesday. Get excited.
Blake of the Year. go ahead, Jake.
Jilly Football and I went to the ticker tape parade for the women's soccer team. That's right.
They had it down the canyons of heroes. That's the thing is the Yankees got to win another title.
They got to put 28 up there. Or the Mets.
Yeah, or the Mets. But this parades are awesome.
It looks like I really do think that we should try our best to win a championship in a professional sport because... Handball.
That looks awesome. Yeah.
Water dogs. Water dogs.
I mean, if the water dogs... Yeah, good joke, Hank.
You know what? If they win, we should organize a dog parade. Yeah.
And we'll just do it. We'll do it on the Hudson River on the path over there.
And then we'll just have everybody bring their dogs out. How many dogs do you think we could get just of AWLs? Well, it has to be lacrosse fan AWLs, so maybe two? Yeah, maybe a couple dogs.
A dog and a cat. Maybe one cat.
A turtle? Someone's got a turtle. Billy, you bring your hedgehog? Yeah, put a leash on one of your frogs, Billy.
At least dozens. Dozens.
Dozens of PLL. But no, are the Water Dogs playing this weekend? It's a bye week.
Next week, Colorado Springs. You.
See you there. Jake Marsh.
Jake Marsh. The future.
Get excited. But yeah, that parade was awesome.
Giannis, the likability tour keeps going. He did the freeze.
He got, someone threw him a ball and he, he pretended he was shooting a free throw and he just stayed frozen for about four hours. That was awesome.
PJ Tucker. PJ Tucker.
He, every, Every player or every time a team wins a championship, there needs to be a role player that gets abnormally drunk. Yes.
That's the drunk guy on your team that celebrates you hard. That was P.J.
Tucker. I also love P.J.
Tucker's speech because he was like, when I got here, they're like, you need to be a dog. But I said, no, there's dogs everywhere.
Actually, put the speech in because it's great you know it's crazy that's where everybody like i came in they're like yo you gotta like show like you gotta be the dog and i'm like man we got dogs like they just say like like i got here like we we already got dogs they just don't know how to be dogs and we gonna be dogs and our dogs is crazy we got dogs you hear me milwaukee we dogs pj tucker essentially is saying like fuck analytics even though analytics changed his whole career because he was on those Daryl Morey rockets. That's like when he excelled.
But fuck analytics. If you just have enough dogs, you can win a championship.
Well, that's also P.J. Tucker's role is to be a dog.
So he was just like saying you need dogs to win. That's him.
Yeah. So he was like, yeah, he was like defining his role.
He had to teach everyone else how to be a dog. Sometimes you don't know that you're a dog until you see another dog.
Until you bite. That's me.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it was a great parade. I liked the bus driver too.
The bus driver was going like 25 miles per hour. He was ready to be done.
It was great. Like, yeah, I don't really blame the bus driver wanting to get home.
Right. You know, we had other, being a bus driver on a drunk bus in general has got to be like the hardest job in the world yes dealing with all the people in the back playing the same six songs that you hear every weekend over and over again beer cans hitting the side of your bus because people miss like throwing it up top yeah it's not an easy job at all to be a bus driver in a parade and he was yeah he was going like pedal to the metal it was like vin diesel.
Yes, he was very fast. Very fast.
And shout out Chris Middleton and Drew Holiday for making sure they were at the parade. I think they're going to Japan tomorrow.
I think it is. Or maybe tonight.
So they did the right thing. That would have been terrible if they had to hop on a plane.
Devin Booker, saddest flight ever. So that was a parade.
Yeah? The day before the parade, Giannis also created a new drink with the half Sprite, half Lemonade, No Ice. Yes.
And did the 50 chicken nuggets. Was that European, by the way, No Ice? I think it is.
No, I think that's just being a smart consumer. You get more soda that way.
I think Europeans don't do ice. I think if you grow up with not a whole lot of money, you know the no ice trick.
Right. Because it's like you get extra probably 25% of the drink with that.
Yeah, and you don't need to waste it on ice. That was my move growing up.
I was a big no ice guy. No ice.
And I can deal with a lukewarm drink if it means that I get more of it. But that's a delicious drink.
The Sprite lemonade mix. Yeah.
Fantastic. Yes.
I tried to do the 50 nuggets challenge challenge got through 36 but what i didn't say was i had a 20 piece nugget from chick-fil-a also for lunch that day uh it also is very funny because it was i think janice was with his family and he was ordering it for everyone did he finish 50 nuggets no it couldn't be just for him and there were minis yeah right there was a mini sandwich that comes in breakfast, and Billy did an extensive deep dive into the Chick-fil-A sandwich, and it's like a honey bun, right, Billy? So it's actually double the calories. One of the greatest rivalries that goes on in part of my take is Billy touching the mic and Hank being like, stop touching the mic.
Billy just

tried to kick the mic into

place.

You can't touch this end of the mic.

You can always touch that one.

You can always just sit up

into the mic like you're doing right now.

We should probably get two mics.

It's a deep couch. What about headset mics on these

guys? That would actually be funny. No, because then you hear Billy's deviated septum.
That's true. That's true.
All right, Billy, give us the report. So 50 regular nuggets is around 2,000 calories, and 50 chicken minis is about 4,000 calories.
Oh. So it's double.
Way more food. Because it's a bigger patty.
Wait, 2,000 calories for 50 chicken nuggets? Yep. That's not even a full day yeah right it is a full day that's not that's not really not for guys like us full day we got a fucking yeah bigger guys uh in comparison joey chestnuts uh 70 77 hot dogs is around 20 000 calories god i forget the number that's way more way more way more.
If he finished those 50 minis, though, that's more impressive than winning an NBA championship. Yeah, I don't think he did, but I agree with you.
All right, so other things we got. Texas and Oklahoma are trying to leave the Big 12.
That was nothing like college football politics and realignment. I like the part where I'm pretty sure Texas A&M was the team that leaked this at the SEC media day because Texas A&M obviously doesn't want Texas in the SEC.
They're very, very much against it. They're trying to form a Super League.
Yeah, they're trying to form a Super League. It feels inevitable because you had both the SEC not deny it and then Texas and Oklahoma not deny it.
And then everyone else in the Big 12 come out very strongly because they know that's the death of the Big 12. I would be sad if it happened just because I do like Big 12 football.
But it also, I feel like we're heading towards a four-conference college football landscape. It is a very Texas thing to do, too.
Texas, make no mistake about it, they always think that they're going to be the hottest chick in the room, and they never are. But they think, if I'm doing like a Colin Coward extended analogy, it's like Texas is the most high-maintenance girl that you've ever dated, and they always need to be told how good they look all the time.
They always need to feel like they're the most important part of your life. If you start playing too many video games over in the corner, they're going to go find the biggest guy in the room and start grinding on them, make sure that you notice that they're doing that, and then they're going to come back and be like, hey, this guy just said something mean to me.
You should go fight him. The real analogy is that that girl, that same girl you just mentioned she starts dating you and then she picks your friends yes is what texas is doing here because they're basically like you can't hang out with these losers tcu and iowa state and oklahoma state come hang out with these guys who have their act together well i don't really like them they could all beat me up like alabama and lsu could beat me up every year but all right fine i'll do it texas is going to be in trouble i think if they go to the sec because they're not they're not texas texas is not back yet they've been almost back for a while and i think i think it'd be a big mistake they still think that they're the texas of old i so i assume that any team that goes a texas oklah Oklahoma will succeed in the SEC just because they will they're already, I mean Texas is different than Oklahoma.
Oklahoma has ruled the Big 12 for whatever, half a decade plus. But they'll get SEC players.
They'll start recruiting SEC talent. Everyone will probably, like they'll just assimilate.
Like they'll probably get the shit kicked out of them for a little bit, but not even. Like, Oklahoma, if they went into the SEC, they would compete with everyone but Alabama.
See, I don't understand that because Texas right now, they're going to have the same recruiting base, which is going to be the state of Texas, and they're going to split the recruits with Oklahoma like they always do, but now they're going to lose, I think, more of the Texas players to other schools in the SEC. But if you can't dominate in the Big 12 being Texas and being the only school with the Longhorn Network and all that extra money coming in, how do you think that it's going to be better for you going into a harder conference where they already have the SEC network where schools are getting more money? They'll get more money.
The competition, like when you're recruiting SEC players, you basically say, hey, we're playing in the SEC with these guys. They'll be able to dip into talent pools that they don't dip into right now.
Look at Texas A&M. I don't think that they are going to be dipping into talent pools.
Texas A&M went from the Big 12 to the SEC, and they've assimilated very nicely. They're competing at a different level now than they were.
You could make the argument Texas A&M has a path now to maybe compete for a national championship. I don't want to start old arguments, but they were just right there last year.
They were fifth, and they could have been fourth if you looked at it a different way. I don't know if that that has much to do with recruiting as it does with coaching and the entire program at Texas being in just the shittiest possible position for the last, what, 15 years? Ten years? I think it would all – I think the SEC just would, especially for a school like Texas and Oklahoma, they'd get their talent and they'd probably get some more.
I mean, they wouldn't go in there and be beating everyone up, but eventually you're playing in these big games. It is kind of a mini Super League.
It means more all that jazz. I know I'm just, like, sucking the SEC's dick right now, but I think they would probably, like, if you're going to compete at a different level, this is the path to do it.
The big winner in this is Nick Saban for getting another assistant coach that he's spun off to a different program to come back into the conference so that he can get them every year yes yes so um yeah i mean it'll be interesting i i will be a little sad because it does feel like now everyone's gonna have to shuffle the deck again and then maybe once we get to four conferences everything will settle forever i just i just don't really see how the recruiting pool would change that much because Texas has always been getting great recruits from Texas no matter what. And then occasionally, like with Charlie Strong, they tried to recruit out of Florida given his ties there.
That didn't really work. I don't see the recruiting pool changing enough to make – other things have to happen in Austin to make Texas a better school than just going to the SEC.

I guarantee you they would get guys that want to play in the SEC

that would play in another SEC program now are going to play at Texas.

Because guys want to play in the conference that their family can see them

if they're not going to stay at home and all that.

So I think they would start dipping into different groups.

And the SEC, guys want to play in the SEC now. SEC makes NFL picks.
That's just what they do. They just churn them out.
I want to see some teams that are just nowhere close to being either south nor east start joining the SEC because once that happens, then we know that realignment's definitely... Once Ohio State tries to join the SEC, then we know that realignment is – it's at the doorstep.

Yeah.

Full realignment into the four-league team.

So I'm looking at it right now.

I don't know what Texas A&M's recruiting was 10 years ago,

but they have a four-star from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

They have a four-star from Arkansas.

They have a four-star from Miami.

Like, I'd have to imagine that being in the SEC helps that. So I don't know.
We'll see. And Oklahoma will be fine because Oklahoma's good anyway.
They just got to play defense. Yeah.
Well, that's the thing. So we're going to see, obviously, when they play against Ole Miss, you've got Lane Kiffin who doesn't play any defense whatsoever, now playing against Big 12 defenses.
Yes. That's going to be great.
Yes. Over City.
I don't know. Just all of a sudden we're just going to do this whole realignment dance again.
I thought we were done, but we're not done anymore. There's certain levers that you pull when you're at Texas in order to make yourself relevant again.
One is getting a new coach. One is just leaking word that maybe Jim Harbaugh or Nick Saban is interested in moving to Austin.
And then the other is just floating out word that you're thinking about putting your nuts on the table and making the Big 12 beg for you to stick around a little bit longer. Yeah, and they did this 10 years ago.
They tried to go to the Pac-12. They batted their eyes at the Pac-12, and then they got a bunch of TV money and everything.
So I don't know. It's all weird.
All right, so the other thing that's happening in Texas is Jerry Jones has basically said that he's going to kill a person. Yeah.
Kill a person or worse. He said, this is his quote, I'm not trying to be sacrilegious here, but the, wait, is that a, yeah, yeah.
I'm not trying to be sacrilegious here, but the facts are that I would right now, if I could, and I knew I had a good chance to do it, I would do anything known to man to get into a Superbow wow hot seat mike mccarthy whoa you think might would mike mccarthy die for a super bowl that's the next step up from mike rabel which is i'll cut my penis off if there's a coach out there it's like you can execute me at midfield after the super bowl is over and i want to go out a winner yeah it's uh smash me like a watermelon jerry he wants to kill, I think. I think.
Do you think Mike McCarthy would kneel down onto a cinder block and rest his head on it? Yes. And have Jerry Jones smash his skull in? Yes.
Mike McCarthy was cool guy Mike. Do you see those glasses? Yeah, he looks awesome.
He showed up in? That's Cali Mike. Yeah, that's Hard Knocks Mike.
Yeah, Oxnard Mike. He knows he's going to be on Hard Knocks.
Oh, I can't wait for him to do the Sean McVay shirtless in a swimming pool. Yeah, that would be a sight to be seen.
Hard Knocks with the Cowboys is going to be great. Jerry Jones is going to do – he's going to dominate the entire thing.
It might as well just be the Jerry reality show. I think we're two weeks away.
I think we're two – I saw it was like August 10th or something. I can hear the sprinklers.
Two weeks from today, Hall of Fame game. Yeah.
Yeah. We have football.
Yeah, we have David Baker coming up, talking about the Hall of Fame game. We actually, so like I said, Wednesday is the takeies.
Get ready because Grit Week is coming up too. We're going to do Grit Week middle of August.
We'll actually need someone's house to watch Hard Knocks at. Yeah, it's a tradition, isn't it? Yeah.
So I don't know what city we'll be in, but we will need someone to let us come over and watch Hard Knocks at their house. Is that a Tuesday night thing? Tuesday night thing.
Where is Grit Week this year? Grit Week, we're going back to basics, baby. We're doing the Rust Belt with the addition of Washington, D.C.
So we're doing D.C., Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Buffalo. Maybe not fully guaranteed, but somewhere around there.
Yeah, we've kind of outlined our general route. Yeah.
And then once the guests start filling themselves in, we'll make little day trips out. Back to basics.
We're going to fucking do it up. Grit Week 2021.
Should we call it Grit Week 2020? It's Grit Week 2020, yeah. Like the Olympics? Well, I wish that's what I said to PFT earlier.
I said I wish we had canceled the takeies. Fuck.
I wish we had canceled the takeies last year so this year we could call it the 2020 takeies. Yeah.
Yeah. But I'm down for calling this Grit Week 2020.
Okay. Even though we have the sign right there that Jake just pointed out to.
Yeah, that was more of a day, grit day. That was fun.
The 24-hour live stream was fucking fun. I mean, I'm still drunk.
we're far enough away from it now where i can say it was fun um mario party was a revelation yeah we got to play some more we should do that on the road yeah on the bus on the grit bus little mario party on the go hank just looked at us like you guys well we can play we can't stream it but we could definitely play i wasn't talking about streaming i was talking about just for us yeah um all right let's get ready to do it so we have uh we have mount rushmore season mount rushmore season is here before we get to mount rushmore it's brought to you by our friends the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices stop searching all over google for your next tee time start searching multiple courses in your area from one app It's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online. Just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times.
Plus the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group, earn golf time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews. And then you can redeem those rewards for free Barstool Golf Merch in our store.
Download the Barstool Golf Time app now. Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times.
Barstool Golf Time app now. Okay, it is time.
It is finally time. It is Mount Rushmore season.
We're ready to roll. This year, little wrinkle, we have four teams drafting.

Hank, PFT, myself,

and then the combo of Billy

and Jake. Let's just ask...

Jilly. Jilly, yeah.
Let's just ask

real quick, how did

the meeting go beforehand when you guys

were talking? Is there a strategy?

Are you guys going to be able to work together?

Is there a clear alpha? Give it to us.

Oh!

There it is, Matt answers that. Jake gets to the mic first.
If you saw Billy, Billy leaned forward to get to the mic, saw that Jake was going to beat him, and then steered away to the right and pretended that he wasn't going to the mic. Yeah, like, oh, no, you go.
No, no, you go. I didn't even want to talk.
All right, I'll go. No, it was Billy actually who made the alpha move to get us separate headsets so we could both hear.
True alphas know when to concede. I don't know if that's an alpha move because he probably was like...
Yeah, and it also is not an alpha move because he probably was like, if there's only one headset, it's clearly going to go to Jake. Which is true.
Yeah, so he just got himself a headset. You know what Jake is? Jake's like a very supportive dad after a Little League baseball game, trying to find something positive that his son did to compliment him.
Yeah. We have a master master list and we're just going to go on the fly and see how it goes.
Are you going best player available or are you going for need? We'll see. So the draft today is going to be so all four professional sports leagues in America we're going to be drafting what's the actual that we're going to put on the top of the thing? What team name would be...
Shout out to the AWL. They sent us in for an FAQ and we read it and we decided to save it.
The official question was NFL... Oh, not NFL, so we're doing all four sports.
All four sports. Power rankings based on how likely I am to eat the meat of the mascot.
Okay. So are we picking mascots or are we picking team names? I don't think that we should do the true mascot.
Right. For example, I don't think it should be like the San Diego chicken or whatever.
Right. It's going to be, I don't know, a Golden State Warrior.
Right. I would consume a warrior or something.
Or if you wanted to keep with San Diego, you would actually eat a priest. Is that a priest? A priest..
Or you could go for the... That's what a chargers? The padres.
Padres, yeah. I didn't know what a fucking padre was either.
It means father in Spanish. All right, so here we go.
So here's how we're going to select the order. It's going to be a lottery number.
Everyone pick a number. Closest to it gets to select the order.
So they get to just decide what the order is going to be for today's show. And again, these are not official numbers.
So if you hit it, it doesn't count on your permanent record. Okay.
All right. In that case, I'm going to go with 47.
Okay. 50.
Okay. Jake, Billy? 69.
All right, I'll go 21. Hank, that was a dick move.
You just priced this right at him. Yeah.
Now PFT has like three numbers to work with. Anything over 69, we win.
Oh, my God. It's going to be 48.
It's going to be 48. There we go..
That's perfect. Alright, so PFT, you decide the order.
Hank's going last. So it's going to be me, Big Cat, Jilly, Hank.
Okay, and then it's a snake draft so we're coming back around. We invented the snake draft system.
We did. Everyone remember the time we got caught in the snake in Vegas? Oh, it was so high.
Let's stay out of getting eaten by the snake again. We can do this.
We feel good about Mount Rushmore season. Okay, here we go.
PFT. All right.
All four major sports. 1-1.
The first overall pick in this draft. I'm going to go with a nugget.
Ooh. Is that a gold nugget? Well, so that's what we have to discuss.
Yeah, well, I mean...

It's 100% a gold nugget.

It's gold nuggets.

If you just use the word that the team is named after...

Which is what we're doing.

Which is nugget, but they're not a gold nugget.

No, they are.

Yeah, that's what they are.

They were named after golden nuggets.

I know.

They're nuggets of gold.

But the team name is not gold nuggets.

No, no, no, no.

I don't think that works.

Different nuggets.

No, it does work. It's just a terrible pick.
Yeah, it's a terrible pick. Imagery.
That's what I wanted to talk about. In an instance like that, can we transfer the meaning of the word to the same word? No, it's what it is.
It's you were eating a nugget of gold. I have some similar answers to you, PFT.
I wouldn't have picked it. That was more for later rounds, kind of like when you're out of good answers.
But hey. Well, no, in that case, I want to change my...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? It's something that we have to discuss because we didn't step to ground.
We didn't even know. You should have asked before drafting the actual Mount Rushmore season off to a contentious start.
You stepped up to the podium. You could have asked these questions before you stepped to the podium.
You literally said 1-1 is the number. You could have asked beforehand and then switched your answer.
We didn't know until five minutes ago whether or not we were taking the actual mascot or we were taking the team name. I feel like that's something we need to discuss.
Adam Silver doesn't walk up to the podium, say a name, and then go, oh, wait, actually, I'm coming back, changing it. I think we need to reassess then, if that's the case.
You gave a terrible answer, got told it was a terrible answer, and then wanted to change your answer. That doesn't happen.
Okay, all right. I will say that he can change it one time, this one time, just to start.
Because this is the start of Mount Rushmore season. It's basically a false start on Mount Rushmore season.
You vote yes. Liam votes no.
I vote no. Billy votes no.
So you get a nugget of gold. Wait.
There's chicken minis anyway. Jake and Billy don't get to vote.
Yeah, they do. They get one vote.
Yeah, yeah. They voted no.
They get one vote, not two votes. No, but they need to vote, otherwise it's uneven.
Yeah, yeah. They get one vote between the two of them.
Okay, well then, it's still a lot. It looks like I wanted on the record that I sided with PFT there.
Thank you, Big Cat. Yep, no problem.
Do we have an alliance for this Mount Rushmore season? For sure. Let's fuck them up.
All right. My first pick, I will go.
I actually went through all the teams, and I was like, what is just the most edible thing? And I think it's the Miami Marlins. I would take the Marlins.
I would eat a Marlin. I think that's something people actually eat i believe so i

they look delicious they're cool fucking fish also you can do the thing where you catch the fish you eat the fish and then you make a fake marlin and you put it over your tv and you get to do the thing where you pose next to the marlin that's like dangling by it's tail next to you correct so that's a great pick thank you thank you i appreciate it also if you cut off the snout of a marlin, that's actually a car stick. Good point.
So I'll just use that as well. Or a weapon.
Yeah. Like a Native American.
Just use everything. Correct.
You know that marlins aren't actually... They're not swordfish.
Not the type you eat. Yeah.
But you can still eat a marlin, can you not? Probably. Okay.
We choose the buffalo bills. Thank you for that.
The bills. You're taking a bill? Yeah we're taking The Bills You're eating a bill You're eating a guy named Bill You're eating yourself Billy You're sucking your own dick Jesus Christ I thought it was a buffalo Is it not? No it's Buffalo Bill It's a bill It's a It's a guy named Bill.
It's Wild Bill. You're eating a dead guy.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. So you just did what PFT did, even though you voted against PFT being able to change it.
Exactly. I just really like Buffalo steaks and stuff.
Yeah, but that's not what you're eating. I know, but that was really enamoring.
Yeah, but Billy, you also understand... I think the Bills are a buffalo.
No, you really understand that Buffalo is the name of the city, not the name of the team. It's actually even a worse pick than the Denver Nuggets.
They're not Buffaloes, it's the city of Buffaloes. The mascot is because of the name.
That's such a good point. Wait, but the imagery.
The mascot is Billy Buffalo. Right, but we said we weren't going to eat mascots.
I thought we were eating mascots. We're eating names? It's the name of the team.
So I'm eating a marlin. You're eating a Bill.
Jake already knows that he fucked up. Jake, you should have let Billy pick the first one.

God damn it.

This is actually such a great...

So we're going after the names, not the mascots?

This is a great first Mount Rushmore because we really suck.

Listen, we haven't had preseason to get us going into it.

Okay, all right, Hank.

Let's see what you got.

One for Milwaukee Bucks.

Yep.

Okay, that's a good pick.

That's kind of what I was doing with you.

You were doing Big Cat.

Just go down the list and what's actually edible. Yep.
And then my number two, Tampa Bay Lightning. Ooh.
Eat Lightning Crap Thunder. Oh, I like that.
Okay. Okay.
I'm picking this one, Billy. We are eating something that you physically eat, and it's an Anaheim duck.
Ooh, nice one. That's good.

You eat duck.

It's good.

Add it on my list as well.

Duck is actually my favorite meat.

Okay.

If you had the first pick, you could have taken it.

I'm going to eat.

Shut the fuck up, Hank.

I'm going to eat something that would be cool because they don't exist anymore, but I'm

going to eat a Toronto Raptor.

I'm going to eat a Raptor, a dinosaur.

That's pretty.

I mean, imagine how expensive.

You think Kobe beef is expensive? How about a fucking Raptor beef? Yep. Just tastes like chicken.
Okay. Great.
Good pick. I'm not eating a guy named Bill.
It is a fraud dinosaur, though. I don't care.
I'd be a fucking rich man to be like, yeah, I've eaten some dinosaur. Okay, Duckwood's to be my next pick.
That's a great pick on Jake's part.

So instead, I'm going to go with a diamondback.

That does taste like chicken.

Rattlesnake.

Rattlesnake's actually delicious.

If you fry it up, you get a little dipping sauce.

Yep.

And then my next one is going to be...

There's so many nervous little birds out there in the NFL.

If you want to pick an NFL team, you either have to decide a human A cat or a nervous bird So instead I'm going to go with A penguin I would eat a penguin That's sad That's really fucked up After all they're dealing with with climate change And their entire world's getting completely drowned No they're overpoppopulated. I'm culling the herd.
Man, that is kind of fucked up. I'm not going to lie.
Like, I just said. You have to admit, though, like their diet gives them a nice layer of fat.
Yeah. It's probably a delicious treat.
Yeah. All right.
Jesus. All right.
I'll eat. I'm next going to eat.
I'm going to eat a Tampa Bay Ray. I'm going to eat a Ray.
What? You can eat those, right? There's not a lot of meat on the Ray. It's still meat.
It's probably poisonous. Is it? I don't think so.
Probably. I don't think that.
No, stingrays don't have poison. Yeah.
And I also do hold the record for the most stingray pets. So at the Shedd Aquarium.
What did you just say? Steve Irwin. Yeah, Steve Irwin.
So I'm getting revenge for Steve Irwin. But the poison.
No, that's their stinger. He just got stabbed.
Which also is a car stick. I now have two car sticks.
He got stabbed in the heart. I don't think it was a venom issue.
Yeah, it wasn't like he'd pet it. I've pet a lot of rays.
Have you? No. Rays are actually very friendly as long as you don't swim directly over them and yell at them in an Australian accent.
So back off. We're going with a dish that the Japanese do really well.
Dolphins. Ah! That's fucked up.
Also Subway sandwiches. After everything we've done to try and educate people on the terrors of dolphin on the show.
You can just go down the street and get a foot-long tune at Subway. The worst part about killing a dolphin is they know you're about to kill it.
They'll look you in the eyes and be like, really, bro? You're going to do this to me? They can feel pain. Are you going to kill the dolphin slowly? Old-fashioned way, harpoon.
Just choke it out? Just bring him into a cove and slaughter him all That's the old-fashioned way, is just stabbing a dolphin with a harpoon Dolphins would make good MMA fighters never show their neck Right It's just one big, long one You get the big blowhole, too Yeah You'd probably plug that blowhole Stuff it, stuff blowhole Alright, Hank, coming back around This is my last two, right? Yeah. Kansas City Royals, Eat the Rich.
Oh, nice, Hank. Good one.
Jeff Bezos. For my final, yeah, I mean, everyone says Eat the Rich.
I want to see how it tastes. And my final one, I'll go with the Minnesota Twins.
Guys love Twins. And Twins, yeah.
Surprised you didn't take the Red W. Okay.
Billy, Jake, they're having trouble now. Alright.
Do people actually eat that? Yeah. Apparently people in Europe eat Broncos.
Oh, horse. Interesting.
I think, do the Spanish eat horse? I think it was in like the Swedish Ikea they were eating horse. Oh, that's right.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Now, if I had to choose between a horse, I would probably go with a colt or a filly over a bronco, right? I feel like the bronco would be tough and stringy from all the...
Because it's an active outdoor animal. Yeah.
But I feel like, aren't fillies, like, Philadelphians? No, it's a horse. Philly.
Yeah, it's a horse. It's a horse.
I know it's a Philly, but it's a female horse. It's a female horse.
Yeah, but do they mean it that way? I don't know. Then why aren't the Phillies? Yeah, I don't know.
That's actually... I think it's Philadelphians.
We've gotten way ahead of our skis here. All right, my last pick.
I'm going to go with a drink. I'll go with the Lakers.
I'll just drink a whole lake. Minneapolis Lakers.
Now, is that people who go to lakes? Then I'll eat them. They probably are full of water.
Because I was thinking that about the brewers. I was like...
An actual brewer? Well, whatever it is, I feel confident with my pick. If it's drinking a lake, great.
If it's eating someone who's on a lake, that's great they're probably rich yeah they're probably rich they're probably like an orthodontist and they also probably if they spend a lot of time on the lake have a decent amount of uh water in their in their body okay pft uh i'm gonna go with the kraken okay that actually makes sense yeah and also it's a rum as well. So it could be I could get fucked up off the rum, or if you want to take it as the mythical creature, it's like Kraken Calamari, giant calamari.
Sorry. Yeah.
All right. So anything, what did we miss? Do you want to do a quick speed round of mascots? Because people are going to be like, why didn't you do mascots as well? Gritty would have been my number one.
Yeah, Gritty was mine too.

I would have probably eaten the magic, the stuff, the magic.

He looks delicious.

I think the Philadelphia fanatic would be pretty delicious too.

There's also the thing about the devils, just take them out for society's purposes.

Should we do the mascots real quick?

I'm not prepared for that.

Do you want to stop real quick and we can prepare and then we can just pretend that we didn't take a stop? Okay, let's do a bonus Mount Rushmore because who knows if that one was good. Let's do the mascot.
So now we're going to pick Mount Rushmore. We'll make two graphics, double Mount Rushmore to start off Mount Rushmore season.
This is based solely on deliciousness of the mascot and how it looks.

So we're actually eating the physical mascot if it was real and had meat on it.

Right?

Yep.

So if...

Like the furry thing that runs around.

Yes.

Right.

Exactly.

Okay.

PFT.

All right.

My 1-1 is going to be Gritty.

Okay.

Gritty from the Flyers.

He looks delicious.

He does.

Should we reverse the order?

He looks like he's already covered in...

I'm going a flag it is fair to reverse the order I'm throwing a flag on it also we cut out the part where we decided to do this, and Hank said he would do one one gritty, so he then tried to steal it. All right, Billy and Jake.
By the way, I only saw Jake looking up mascots during the intermission when we decided to do this. Dude, Lucky the Leprechaun.
Oh, okay. I need the shit out of a leprechaun.
You and Kyrie Irving? Yeah. He cursed himself.
Okay. You get esophageal cancer afterwards because, remember, he sprained the ankle that he used to step on Lucky.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I just think it would be sick to eat a leprechaun. Yeah.
I think that's racist. Yeah, probably.
It's anti-Irish at least. All right.
My first one, I'm going to eat the KC Wolf from the Chiefs. That wolf looks delicious.
Yeah. Kind of like whenever he's doing fun shit in the end zone, he's got a big-ass belly.
Yeah, he's always riding around on the Segway, too, so you know he's not working too hard. Right, not a lot of muscle on him.
Some tender little meat. Uh-huh.
I'm going to take Mariner Moose. Okay, good pick.
I had him on my list. It's a value pick because there's just a lot of meat to work with there.
If you kill a moose, you eat good for at least a couple months. And then after I eat the moose, I'm going to be so full, I'm not going to be very hungry.
So my second pick is going to be the football team because they don't have a mascot. Okay.
So I'm just going to give myself a little break to recuperate. So that's a pass pick.
Yes second pick i'm gonna go with uh i'm gonna eat uh chuck the condor remember the clippers tried to make it a big thing balmer was like i'm gonna make a mascot he looks delicious chuck the condor he's got all kinds of weird colors he's a fucking stupid ass mascot i don't even know what a condor has to do with la but but Chuck the Condor, you're getting your ass eaten by me.

All right, Big Cat, I know you're Mr. Meat, so we're going to go with Oklahoma City's Rumble the Bison.

Oh, good pick.

Got a lot of meat.

Rumble, okay.

Okay.

Hank, you have two.

That literally was my next pick.

I will go with Pierre the Pelican.

Scary looking dude. Kind of like Chuck the Condor.
Yeah, but he's much scarier. Yes, I agree.
All beak, though. Yeah.
That's more, again, more. I'm just like a hero.
I'm just trying to help the world by taking him out. Eating him, yes.
Also, you get to eat whatever's still inside of his beak. So there could be bonus fish.
That's true. And then I'll go with not a lot of great mascots.
I'll go with the Cardinals. Rally Squirrel is apparently their mascot.
You like Squirrel. Squirrel could be good.
Squirrel could be good. Yeah, if you're in the woods.
I feel like if you were forced to survive on your own, a squirrel could get you by. Yeah, okay.
I've eaten Squirrel. Yeah, how was it? You just eat the hind legs.
We're going to go with Benny the Bull. Oh, that's me.
That's some T-bones. He's one of the best.
He's one of the best. Boom.
Yeah. All right.
This one's kind of a fucked up one, but the Giants, San Francisco Giants mascot, Lou the Seal. Yeah.
Cute as fuck. Cute as a button.
I would club that seal to death and eat him so fast. I had that on my list, too.
Yeah. He's a cute one.
Again, most of my picks, I think, come down to what type of meat is on it. I think a seal has a lot of blubber, too.
Yeah, I'm going for pretty much cuteness, like muscular mascots. Like, eh, I don't want that.
All right, so there are a lot of mascots out there that have bear-like tendencies. So I needed to determine, am I going to have a grizzly? Am I going to have Clark the Cub? Am I going to have a Boston Bruin.
I'm going to go with Jazz Bear. Oh.
Jazz Bear, if you look him up, Jazz Bear looks like the most delicious of the bear mascots. He's like a little bit furry, a little bit fat.
He's pretty cute too, so I'm going to go with Jazz Bear. Okay, that's sure.
Oh, yeah, that's a good pick. He is very furry.
He actually looks like Teen Wolf. Yep.
and then for my last one i think i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go with the toronto raptor he's kind of a goofy guy not a very intimidating looking uh raptor as far as dinosaurs go especially when he's blown up when they have the inflatable version yep of the raptor yep i feel like that there's a lot of meat on that bone. So I'm going to go with the Raptor.
Okay. I will go with Orbit the Astros because he is the cutest of the mascots.
Also just a weird, funny looking dude. Don't know what he actually is.
I think he might just be a star reincarnated. What is he? He's a green...
He's an alien. He's a green alien.
Want to eat that fucker. Big time.
He's so cute. Look at his hat.
He is. Yeah.
I would love to eat him. Ever notice how mascots don't wear pants? Yeah.
It is weird. Really strange.
Yeah, and then they photoshopped that huge dick on Clark Club. Yep.
All right. Last pick for Jake and Billy.
Do you want to take yours? Yeah. All right.
Go for it. We'll do the cubs because it's like bear veal.
Yeah, that's true. So it's a young bear.
Baby cub, yeah. Okay.
What about the penis? You're going to eat that? There is no penis. Well, you're all eating penises too.
Yeah. Well, no, all my animals are female.
Are you sure that Orbit has a... I don't think Orbit has a dick.
I'm looking at him right now. I do not think he does.
I don't think the cubs have a dick. I can show you a picture of him having one.
Yeah, there's lots of pictures of Clark. He has a dick? Yeah.
Huge one. Big wanger.
Mm-hmm. All right.
Hank. I will go with Al the Octopus.
From? The Red Wings. Nice.
You hate calamari. Well, yeah, but calamari is like fried.
You can make octopus taste good. You don't have to just throw in a deep fryer.
Grilled octopus? Yeah, if you make octopus well, you get a good chef to actually cook it up. Put some nice, you know, spices and stuff on it.
Have you ever eaten octopus? Sure. I don't think that you have.
What part of calamari do you not like? I think calamari is just fried sponge, basically. So you don't like the octopus part?

I don't like the fact that it's fried.

I think octopus, if you make it in a good way, is good.

But fried calamari, people just like fried food.

They're just asking for some fried sponge.

Fried food is good, yes.

Right, but... Do you eat onion rings?

Yes.

You don't eat calamari?

I don't like calamari.

I think it's a trash appetizer.

This is not about that. I don't know what we're talking about.
That's what we're talking now we're talking about and this is by the way this isn't like if you're in a restaurant if you're in a restaurant you have all the options in the world no i'm not gonna eat fucking calamari if it was a question of these are the mascots you have to choose to eat from correct all of a sudden octopus becomes a lot more appetizing what about uh hugo a single Hornet? That seems like something you would pick.

Yeah.

All right, so we'll put up both graphics.

The graphics with the mascots, we'll just put the actual mascots

because it's a visual thing.

All right, Mount Rushmore season.

I don't know if that started well.

We'll see.

I think it did.

It was okay.

It was bumpy.

It's been a while.

Are we doing polls this year?

I don't know.

I don't care.

Sure.

Or not. I don't care.
Billy, you seem like you have a strong... I think we'd win a lot.
You guys would win a lot? All right, so then let's put a bet out there. How many times do you have to win for it to be considered a lot? Jake? You have to win 50% of the polls? So there's four teams.
So we have to win more than 25% to make it a lot. That's not really a lot, though.
Yeah, that's not a lot. That's just a statistical anomaly.
We don't have to do above 50%, about 25%. Yeah, I think you do.
Over 50% would be a lot. How about this compromise? Two out of three every week would be a lot.
Yeah, that would be a lot. What about over 40%? No, let's do like 30%.
No, that's not a lot. No, that's not a lot.
No, it's not. Okay, let's not do polls.
Yeah, we just won't do it then. You guys don't like polls, do you? I said I'm fine with it.
I want to do polls. I'm competitive.
Are you? Yeah. It doesn't sound like you are.
Jake, what do you think for your team? You decide. For a benchmark? No, you just decide whether we're going to do the polls or not.
Sure. Okay.
All right, we'll listen to Jake.ake winner gets the best in the office title okay perfect all right that's the start of mount rush for season we got david baker from the hall of fame coming up next but before we get to him i want to remind you guys that chevy silverado is the strongest most advanced dependable hard-working truck on the road It's the most advanced Silverado ever. We're truck guys here.
And when we're driving trucks, we're driving Chevy Silverados because it's big, it's bold, it's commanding. This truck turns heads.
Silverados are dependable, just like the people who drive them. We have a partner with grit and determination when it comes to Chevy.
Anything's possible. Silverado is a partner in that.
You can tailgate. Tailgate season coming up.
If you don't have a friend with a truck in your group, you should become that friend for tailgate season. Crowds are back.
Tailgating is back. You can haul with a Silverado.
You can tow with a Silverado. It's great for off-roading, moving day, helping out a friend or a family member.
It's great for road trips. We love Chevy Silverado.
It's the best truck on the road. And, yes, when you buy a Chevy Silverado, whisper centrally into the Chevy Silverado dealer's ear, pardon my take, and they will give you a free tank of gas.
They'll give you a free cup of coffee. Anything else? $100 off.
$100 off. We think.
We're not sure about that. But try it.
Let us know if it works. Chevy Silverados are the best trucks on the road, and they are our favorite vehicle in the world.
We love Chevy Silverados. Get one.
Tell them the boys apart. My take sent you.
Up next, David Baker. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
He's a recurring guest. It is the president and CEO of the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.
He is the one who knocks. It is David Baker.
We haven't seen you in a couple years. We actually were reminiscing the last time we saw you in Miami right before the world went to shit.
So it's great to see you. It's great to talk to you.
It's great that there is a Hall of Fame game this year again. How are you doing? Are you excited to have fans back in the stadium? Is Canton ready to go? What's the vibe like? Yeah, the last time I saw you guys, I think it was Super Bowl 55 in Miami, and I was knocking on the door to get you guys out of my room.
Yes. Okay.
Cause you were kind of hanging out there, but you know, we've all been through a lot you know, 18 months of a real challenge and, and sometimes fear. But we are excited to have the first full stadium for football in 18 months that we will have with a hall of Fame game that will kick off the NFL's 102nd season.

And then we're going to have a couple great enshriments,

a gold jacket presentation.

It is going to be, I think, one of the greatest gatherings in football ever.

We'll have 161 Hall of Famers.

Fox will do the game, and then the NFL Network and ESPN will do the enshriments.

And I hope somehow you guys will have the opportunity to come here, be part of it, and come visit your goldfish. Larry, yes.
RIP Larry. Yes.
Yeah, we would love to do something like that. I'm excited to see a football stadium that's absolutely filled with people as well.
I'm looking forward to it. This is one of my favorite weekends of the year because it's like it's that first Robin of spring that reminds you that football is officially coming back and so I can't wait for it I'm curious to know you guys have a lot of a lot of big names this year yeah like Peyton Manning Charles Woods a lot of big names that are getting inducted in the Hall of Fame how did you determine which guy gets to go last well normally I will tell you that's a that's an extra interesting question pft because normally what we do is we put kind of the most popular marketing guy last so that the viewers will hang in there and do it but in in uh recent years uh you know starting probably when i got here with michael strahan to kurt warner uh those guys have gone on after midnight because the speeches end up being so long.

This year, we have what we say is twice the fun in 21 because we have the centennial class, which, again, that was originally going to be 20 Hall of Famers for 2020, which was going to be the most ever. We had to cancel the centennial, and then we went with 2021, which has Peyton Manning, Charles Woodson, you know, Tom Flores, a whole lot of other popular guys.

So we have 28 guys who will be enshrined in these two classes. We took care of nine who were posthumous the last night of the draft, Saturday night of the draft, and enshrined those posthumous Hall of Famers.
That leaves us 19. So on Saturday night, we will do, let's see, we'll do 11 of the guys.
And then the rest will be done, 12 of them actually on Saturday night. We'll do seven on Sunday night.
And that'll be the class of 2021. and what we've done this year is we've asked guys to keep their speeches to six minutes and at eight minutes we will play off like the academy awards.
And if they don't leave, finally, it's going to be up to me to go out there and drag them away from the microphone. But I think everybody is abiding by that and doing a good job.
And I think it's going to be really, really special. So this class, like PFT said, has some big names.
I was watching the video of you presenting. was a little different because it was some of it had to be outside so it wasn't all knocks uh the peyton manning one though i was very curious you did a great job of surprising him but can you surprise peyton manning with the hall of fame because he was born a hall of famer like he knew he was going to be in the hall of fame essentially his entire career was there a moment maybe when the cameras were off it's like yeah I knew this was going to happen maybe the Hall of Fame, essentially his entire career.
Was there a moment maybe when the cameras were off?

It's like, yeah, I knew this was going to happen.

Maybe not exactly like this, but we obviously were going to have this interaction at some point.

You know, Big Cat, I'll tell you, I'm not sure his entire life he thought he was going to be in the Hall of Fame

because at some point he was an 8-year-old or 10-year-old guy that was starting that journey.

And he started with an incredible dad, Archie Manning. I just love Archie.
He's done so much for the game. But, you know, his dream was to probably be the best he could be.
And he knew. It took 10 seconds for him to get in the Hall of Fame.
You know, Mike Chappell from Indianapolis did his presentation. And I think all he said was Peyton Manning dropped the mic.
Yeah. And he didn't have to make a presentation.
Everybody knew he was going to be, Peyton knew I was going to be knocking on his door. I knew I was going to be knocking on his door.
But the question was, how can we do it effectively? So frankly, Peyton's wife and, you know, some of the guys, Patrick Spieth at the Denver Broncos helped us a great deal. And we tried to create something that would be special for him.
And he has great respect for the people who invested in his life. And so we had his high school coach on video.
We had his college coaches, some of whom were in person. We had his every pro coach that had coached him kind of be there at mile high.
And then finally I walked in and I want to tell you, it was special for him. And here's what I learned about this.
And I know you guys love the game, so you'll get this. When I told him that he was going to Canton,

and we were going to guard his legacy forever, and thank you for all he's done for the game, I don't think I was telling that 45-year-old polished pitch man that we know Peyton Manning to be. I think I was telling that eight-year-old or 10-year-old kid with all these people who help them get here.
And was it was uh dramatic it was uh special and then we went on to a number of other places uh that night i ended up with uh calvin johnson in detroit yeah and i wanted to ask a question about calvin was there any moment where you like hey calvin are you really retired because he's a guy who could step in tomorrow and produce for an NFL team he retired a little short did that ever come up in the conversation uh when you guys did the you know deciding who's going to be in the class or maybe when you knocked on his door in Detroit yeah it didn't come up in my conversation with him uh for us we were talking about what he contributed already and when there, you know, it was like 10 o'clock at night. It was 19 degrees below zero.
I knock on his door. He comes, we weren't allowed to go inside because of NFL COVID policies.
So he had to come out. He's barefooted.
And again, he was overwhelmed. He was crying.
And at the end of the time when, you know, the guys had all their footage and everything, he turns to me and he says, are you going back to Canton? And I said, no, we've got a few more doors to knock on. And I'll never forget what he said.
He said, oh, you're going to go collect the more tears, aren't you? And again, that's what it means to these guys. They're not thinking about how much money they make.
They're not thinking about their statistics. They're thinking about their journey.
They're thinking about their mom and dad or their dad who kept them from quitting or their mom that drove them to practice or their coach that helped them to be more or their teammates that got them there. It was very, very cool.
You mentioned Archie Manning, but also I feel like we need to talk a little bit about Olivia Manning. I feel like Olivia Manning should be nominated for the Hall of Fame as a contributor because Archie Manning had a solid career, right? Pretty good career for the Saints, but was not a Hall of Famer.
His sons are now Hall of Famers. Where do you think they got that extra boost from? Probably from Olivia, right? Probably from Olivia.
And by the way, Christian McCaffrey, everybody thinks it's Ed McCaffrey. And frankly, his mom was a world-class sprinter.
So I think he got some speed from her. I think that's true of a lot of guys who play in the NFL.
The dads kind of provide them some exhortation and some encouragement, but their moms are the ones who keep them going and give

them the love to never give up. But yeah, Olivia, and again, I got to tell you, Archie is a special man, not just as a football player, but I've always regarded him as one of the great fathers.
He's a Hall of Fame father, not because of what his kids did, but Archie lost his dad when he was sophomore at Mississippi.

And I think

he

has what his kids did, but, you know, Archie lost his dad when he was a sophomore at Mississippi. And I think he understood how important it was for him to be a dad to, not only to Peyton and Eli, but to Cooper.
And again, that's the cool part about this job. I think every fan should have this job if you could.
Let's let everybody do it for day. Because not only do you get to deliver some great news or give a gold jacket, but you get to see behind the scenes, the real emotions, the real perseverance, the real courage that made these guys great.
I mean, respectfully for you and your fans, and listeners, we all think they fell out of bed great. And I'm here to tell you, not one of them did.
They all had to overcome something, and they had to overcome it again and again. And it's pretty cool that we get to see it, and hopefully from that, guys, learn that you don't have to be a football player to have a Hall of Fame life.
And frankly, watching them and learning from them can make make you guys better broadcasters it can make me a better dad it can make us a a better community in a better country so uh can you walk us through what the process was of getting roger goodell's chair inducted into the hall of fame we have a we have a bone to pick with you that's not a hall of fame worthy chair so he just tell you, did he call you up and was like, hey, Dave, listen, this chair is going to the Hall of Fame. There's nothing you can do about it.
Or maybe you had more of a say than I'm letting on. Just explain to us how that process goes down.
Let me tell you, I begged for that chair. Oh, come on.
All the fans that were in that, that was the chair that was in his basement and here's the deal by the way with him okay he said we could have it but he was loaning it to us he wasn't giving it to us because when the season gets started the official regular season he wants that chair back in his basement so he can watch his games okay i don't know i i think what really happened was mrs goodell was like you need to get this chair out of my house i hate this thing every guy's got a piece of furniture that their wife wants out of the house and she was like we're sending this to the hall of fame we're getting it out you don't have a say in it roger that's what i think that may be great let me tell you it's a big chair and you guys know you've been with me you know how big i am okay this is my kind chair. I think both of you guys could sit in this chair.
And you guys know, you've been with me, you know how big I am. Okay.
This is my kind of chair. I think both of you guys could sit in this chair.
Okay. And matter of fact, I'd like to get that picture of both of you guys sitting in Roger Goodell's chair, but it's, I thought it was a nice piece of deal.
I mean, I thought it was pretty smart of them to go back to that time in his basement when, and again, I will tell you, there's all kinds of controversy and the commissioner bless his heart, man, the guy is a lightning rod for every piece of controversy. But I will tell you this from my perspective, gentlemen.
And by the way, I know that, you know, your station has a little bit of problem with the commissioner. Okay.
But I will tell you that last year was an incredible year when we were locked in our homes, when we were afraid, when we didn't know what the next day held the NFL, you know, had announced their schedule. They had a virtual draft.
They started the season on time. And by the way, the big 10 canceled half its games.
The Pac-12 probably didn't pay that many. And the NFL played all 256 games, played all playoff games, finished the Super Bowl with a 43-year-old quarterback on time, and they did it safely.
And I think for us that were out there, it was not just great entertainment and good football, which we needed, I needed. Frankly, it was a great message that maybe, you know, these were blacks and whites and Hispanics, and these were management and unions and networks, and everybody came together.
I mean, look at Alex Smith, no excuses. You know, when the Broncos didn't have a quarterback, they could have forfeited, okay okay but they went and found some guy off their practice squad when the detroit didn't have a coach okay they found guys out of the film room in the scout room everybody kept going and they came together and they carried on and to me that was a great message that hey if they could do that maybe we can get our economy going yeah you're you're you're an optimist and a great diplomat.
Let's talk about something a little more serious on the serious side. I'm looking at the 10-day forecast right now.
It's going to be mid to high 80s in Canton the week of all of these events. What's our sweat strategy this year? What are we thinking? Listen, you probably know, and there's been plenty of evidence out there to show it.
I can sweat in a freezer. Yeah, you sweat through a suit, like actually the suit jacket, everything.
Yeah. And I'll go through probably about 10 or 12 suits, big cat during this time.
But what I'm going to try to do is stay inside as much as possible. And there's just run outside when I got gotta do something and then run back inside okay but um but it's it's canton ohio and it's going to be humid uh and uh we're going to have a lot of people here but uh it's going to be a great great time yeah going to get back to david baker in a second but before we do i hope you're listening to this podcast on a great pair of headphones.
I hope, actually better than that, I hope you're listening to a great pair of custom fit earbuds from Ultimate Ears. The Ultimate Ears fits true wireless earbuds.
They're actually the best in the business. With how much we rely on our devices, it's easy to forget about the hardware that we're born with, like the ear.
The ear is same as human fingerprints. No two are exactly alike.
That's why your earbuds probably cause you some discomfort, even physical pain after a while. Well, with the Ultimate Ears Fits, they are going to have a customized molding experience that's going to fit your ears better than any earbuds that you've ever worn in your entire life.
If you use your earbuds to work out, guess what? You know the importance of having a pair that fit comfortably. And the Ultimate Ears Fits True Wireless System, that is going to be the best fitting earbud that you'll ever put in your ears.
They're the world's most comfortable earbuds. They have premium sound and all-day comfort.
You get a guaranteed perfect fit in 60 seconds. Ultimate Ears Fits will stay put when you're on the go, but also feel ultra comfortable so you can wear them all day long without pain, without discomfort.
It's the most important thing about wearing a pair of earbuds is that they fit comfortably and they sound great. If you try fits and you don't love them as much as we do, no worries.
They have a 30-day money-back guarantee. Plus, you get free shipping, free returns, and a one-year warranty.

For a limited time, get 15% off your pair of Ultimate Ears FITS True Wireless Earbuds at ue.com slash fits.

That's ue.com slash fits.

Use promo code PMT at checkout, and you get 15% off with promo code PMT at ue.com slash fits.

I can't wait for it.

I read online today that you at one point had a, you did a weight loss challenge with Roger Goodell. Did you beat him? Please tell me you beat him.
No, I didn't beat him. I mean, the guy doesn't have a weight problem.
I have, what was it from Tommy Boy where he said, I have what people call a weight problem. And I'm 400 pounds.
And I did everything I could. I actually tried to cheat.
So I would send him chocolates and I would send him cakes. And, you know, one time he was having an annual meeting for the NFL with his owners.
And I believe it was someplace like, you know, Houston. And I had the hotel send him a during the meeting and uh you know i did everything i could but i didn't win it and uh he's still he's still after me but uh some things like tommy boy aren't going to change yeah you know what though you're the winner in our minds because anything against roger gajal we're going to side with the other side um the i love the suit by the way right now the pinstripe suit the classic suit you look like a detective in a Dick Tracy movie right now I kind of like it yeah this is actually my Beetlejuice suit I am ready for whatever may occur we'll have a lot of suits we'll get really wet but we'll Yes.
Yes. That's a fact.
I don't know if we asked you this when we first interviewed you. Are you eventually going to be in the Hall of Fame? Well, I'm in the Hall of Fame right now, okay, but I will never be one of those guys who have a goal.
Are you sure? I don't think you can tell the story of professional football without mentioning you. You know what, guys? I'll tell you.
You may find yourself very soon before I leave being a selector if you keep that kind of thinking going. Yes.
I could get you guys as a selector there in the room where we select the guys sometimes. But no, I think it's reserved for some people who, like I told you before,

there have been 330 million young men, including you guys, I'm sure,

that have played this game of football, and now women, by the way, at some level.

There's only 5 million that have played it in college.

Only 29,000 who've ever been paid to play it, coach it,

or officiate it in the National Football League.

There's only, as of today, 335 bronze busts. It's not the hall of very, very good, or as you guys were pitching to me the last time we were together, the hall of mediocrity.
I remember that. Okay, I'm sure you guys have advanced that idea along the way.
It is the hall of fame. It is the elite.
It is the very best. So I've got way too much respect for it to ever think that there'd be a guy like me who sweats this much to be in it.
I think that you're being very humble right now. That exact attitude that you have right now is what will get you into the Hall of Fame one day.
I'm going to make sure of it as a selector. Actually, you brought up something interesting because you talked about the NFL specifically.
What about other professional football leagues? What about the Mexican Football League with Trent Richardson? Is there a chance that if he dominates that league enough, he could one day end up in the professional football Hall of Fame? Well, let me give you an example. I always felt that we are the pro football Hall of Fame.
Now, we're most identified with the NFL because it's the dominant brand that's out there. But we have records on everybody.
And by the way, we got 335 guys who have a bronze bus, but everybody who ever played even one game in the NFL has an archive here. So you may know that I've got a son that played almost eight years with the Falcons.
And we've got an archive on him. Archie Manning, who's not in the hall of fame.
We've got an archive on him. Our goal is to keep the history of the game, to honor the heroes of the game, to preserve its history, promote its values, to celebrate excellence everywhere.
But I always thought an interesting guy for this was Kurt Warner. You know, Kurt Warner had been the MVP of the arena football league had been the MVP of NFL Europe.
And then only comes along and he's the MVP of the NFL and he's Superbowl MVP. And that's a guy who makes it not just on Warren moon, Warren moon made it here.
Warren moon's a fascinating story. You know, he's all everything, but at a time when race is even more divisive than it is now,

he's the player of the state in California, but he doesn't get offered to a four-year college,

so he goes to a JC.

He then goes to Washington.

He becomes the MVP of the Rose Bowl, but he doesn't get drafted,

so he goes to the Canadian Football League.

He plays in the Canadian Football League for six years until finally he's picked up in the NFL. And the NFL, he plays another 16 years, and he's in the Hall of Fame.
But there's a lot of guys like that, and yeah, we take note of that. Matter of fact, we've got a deal this week that is the Women's Tackle Football League Championship being played here in Canton.
So anything that's football, we're going to be all over. I love that you're like a treasure chest of great feel-good stories, and you just have them like a Rolodex in your mind.
Has there ever been a time that you cried presenting someone else? Oh, yeah. Give us the most you've cried.
What was the person that you knocked knocked on their door and then you just couldn't hold it and you started crying well and again i i love uh kidding around with you guys and uh you know we have a lot of fun when we're together and i think there's a mutual respect but i gotta tell you um i knocked on the door jerry kramer and uh he waited 45 years to get in the hall of Fame. When I knocked on the door of Randy Moss, Randy Moss, I'll tell you, he came to the door, he started crying, and he came to the door as this star, this incredible mega star that was, you know, when you're a star, it's kind of about you.
And I think I saw him transform into this incredible ambassador for the game. And I have great respect for Randy Moss.
But I can tell you, we call this the most inspiring place on earth. And the reason we do is we have so many people who come here, guys who are terminally ill, have one week to live.
And this is a big bucket list item. One day we're in our office and we're looking out the window and our stadium is under construction.
So there's vehicles and there's a mom and dad out there and they're pouring the ashes of their son out on our field. And that stuff happens all the time.
Yesterday, I got an email from a young kid who's, we saw him when he was 10 years old. The Make-A-Wish Foundation had reached out and he was terminally ill with cancer.
We went to Israel. He's in Israel.
And we had Joe Montana and a whole bunch of other guys, Roger Staubach. And they love this kid up as we should.
His dad wrote me yesterday, and he's been in transmission remission for five years, and he's coming to the Hall of Fame in August. And I'll tell you, there's just so much stuff out there that happens every day that, frankly, it gets lost here sometimes that there's so much of it but it's a great game uh what you guys ever do every day and talk about it and kidding about it and and getting insights on it uh it grows the game and it has an impact on people yeah thank you yeah yeah do you uh do you ever still just walk through the museum by yourself through the hall of Fame? And do you I know we talked last time about John Madden saying that at night the statues come alive and they talk to each other.
Do you ever walk through still by yourself looking at things? And and do you ever have a conversation with the bus? PFT, this is a this is that time of year here right here. And, you know, where my staff is in here, here from nine o'clock ten o'clock eleven o'clock even to midnight because we got so many people coming to town and so much to take care of and there have been times when I was the last one here and I walked out and you kind of take a stroll through that bronze bus gallery and it is the Sistine Chapel for all of us who love the game.

It is the heart, the soul, the values, the virtues of this game. And I've never talked to a bronze bus like Coach Madden.
And, again, when you sit down with him, he takes that very seriously. He will not give it up.
He's absolutely convinced that they talk to each other. And if they did, I'm sure it would be Warren Sapp that I'm hearing all the time.
But the fact of the matter is, we play the enshrinement speeches of guys just outside the gallery 24-7. And there's a lot of times, not just late at night when I'm here alone, but sometime during the day where Chris Carter will be up there.
Or one night I was in there at midnight, and John Elway was talking about his sister and dad who had just died. And I actually came back in and shot him an email on it.
But, yeah, our job is to keep their legacy alive. And, again, the guy who has this job, 100 Dave Bakers for now, and that guy will still probably be talking to the two of you, but that guy's job will be to keep their legacy alive.
My last question, and this has been fantastic as always, I know that you can't tell us how a vote's gonna go i know you don't you don't get a vote right you're in the room but you you don't run the meeting right uh administer it uh but i don't vote right so my question to you is uh julian edelman retires now i'm not gonna ask you whether he's Famer. I'm going to ask you instead, do you love when Hall of Fame debates rage on in the media? Because that's kind of been, you know, he retires and it becomes a week-long Hall of Fame debate.
I have to imagine you kind of like that because people are talking about the Hall of Fame and they frame their arguments around the Hall of Fame. That's a win for David Baker.
Well, I'll tell you, it's a win for the game. And I have been in some incredible debates.
And I will tell you that these guys who are the selectors, whether that's Sal Palantonio from ESPN or Peter King from SI, they're elite media guys, and they do take it enormously seriously, which is why you have to have a 400-pounder control the discussion because it can get intense sometimes. But they've been wonderful discussions, and I wish every fan could hear.
We've tried to take bits and pieces and do it in a way where we guard confidentiality but but can share what we can with fans. But I will tell you, I, on one of the trips we took to Israel twice, we've taken 20 hall of famers.
On one of those, Julian Edelman was on the trip because Robert Kraft was, was kind of our sponsor for the trip. And he wanted Julian to come.
He's Jewish and it was a big deal. And, and I told him, I said, it's probably not me, but I hope someday, you know, there's someone like me knocking on your door.
And again, I think he is a tough, tenacious kid. You know, he went to school at Kent State just down the road here, and I've seen that happen.
I've got Jason Taylor, you know, his speech at the enshrinement, he went to Akron, I believe. And, you know, his deal was 20 years to go 20 miles.
But again, there are guys, Drew Pearson is a great one who, you know, it took Drew Pearson a long time to get in the Hall of Fame. Ray Guy, it took him 29 years.
Obviously, Jerry Kramer took him 45. Not everybody makes it as a first-ballot Hall of Famer.
And once you're in, you're in. It doesn't matter.
But it should be hard. It should be tough.
It ain't easy. That's why it's the Hall of Fame and not the Hall of Mediocrity.
Yes, which we're still working on. We're fleshing out that idea.
I want to come work for you guys. You talked about the play it off music that you have in store for people after, what, eight minutes? Have you figured out what song you want to use for that? No, we haven't.
You guys got a suggestion? I would say the Fox NFL injury music song. It's going to be on Fox.
So they do the really soft version of that might be good. Let me see if I can get that done for you guys, and you guys will know, hey, that was me.
Yeah. In a way, we'll have made the Hall of Fame at that point.
Yes, yes. All right, well, this is awesome.
Thank you for coming on. It's always great to talk to you.
Yes. And listen, I think highly of you guys.
You a lot of fun and uh and i do i think you have a lot of fun but you have enormous respect for the game we do we do it also helps that you're you and we're us and so if we feel like we're disrespecting

the game we're far too intimidated to vocalize that well come on down i'll let you both sit

in roger goodell's chair at once all right thanks so much bye david baker was brought to you by our great friends over at coors coors time for that beer campaign is here you probably heard people say we should get a beer when all this is over about a thousand times in the last year and a half. Well, now Molson Coors is going to hold

your friends accountable for getting those beers that they said they would. So now Miller Lite, Coors Light, Blue Moon, Peroni, and Leinenkugel are teaming up to help you hold your friends accountable.
You just take a screenshot of a message from a friend saying that you should get a beer when this is over. Share it on social with hashtag time for that beer.
Then go to the bar, upload your receipt for a beer from one of the brands listed above at time for that

beer. Then go to the bar, upload your receipt for a beer from one of the brands listed above at time for that beer.com slash rebate.
And the beer is on us. That's time for that beer.com slash rebate.
Get a Miller light, a Coors light, a blue moon, a Peroni, or a line in Kugel by going to that website, time for that beer.com slash rebate. Go to timeforthatbeer.com to get the beer that you said you would on us.
Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado.
Okay, let's wrap up. We got Fyre Fest of the Week.
Henry, you moved? I did move. It's over now, though, so I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder.
I feel like a new man. I'm happy.
It was a long week. It sucks moving.
It's one of those things where during the process I thought about tweeting or being like, moving sucks. But there's no point because everyone knows moving fucking sucks.
So one question. Yes.
I actually, like moving sucks. Sucks.
Moving out sucks. Sucks.
The sneaky worst part, though, is when you move in and you think you're done and you're not like you have like a two weeks left yeah getting shit set i don't even care about that though because it's just like okay i mean i'm on my own so it's like i can go as you know take my time with it i'm by football season i want to be fully moved in situated okay so you have enough time i don't i'm not worried about but it is part of it it is like the that feeling of you know when you're about to move you're like all right this is going to really suck and then you get everything out of your old place and you get everything into your new place and you're like oof done and then the second wave of suck like creeps up on you where you're like in the three days later you're like where the fuck did i put this or where is this why don't i have this why i need a new couch like all these things to that point big cat i i did a horrific job packing and then i just took a bunch of boxes and my labeling was so bad because i moved some yesterday i was like i need to find this this and this and then the labels were just like stuff yeah and so it's like yeah that is so yeah you're gonna have a delay yeah that's gonna delay me really diving into those boxes. Did you have anything that you packed up in this move that you hadn't yet really unpacked from your last move? Yeah.
Yeah. There was a couple.
There was an old suitcase that I had that I opened it up, and it was like old stuff from my old apartment that I was like, I'll just bring this to my new apartment and deal with it then. And then I was like, what's in this suitcase? And I was like, oh, this is from like three years ago.
That's my favorite part about moving is rediscovering old stuff that you thought that you'd need and you absolutely don't need it. But yeah, the fire fest though is yesterday I moved all my stuff out of my apartment.
I had to go back to do like one last trip, pick up all the scraps and stuff and leave. And I was there, and I had to take a shit.

And then I sat down and started taking a shit

and realized there was no toilet paper.

And so I just took a shower.

Nice.

I've done that before.

Coffee filters.

I was like, what am I supposed to do?

Yeah.

You got to improvise sometimes.

What's your water pressure like at the new spot?

I haven't taken a shower yet

because I bought a shower curtain,

and it didn't come with the clamps. See, these are the things I'm talking about't i haven't showered in like three days yeah that's another fire fest yeah yeah yikes we have a shower here go shower go hit the showers well i guess i did i mean i i did a i did an ass shower yeah i was gonna say wait you just said you didn't shower i didn't have.
I just literally got in the shower, wiped my ass.

And then got out.

And then got out.

Wait, did you have soap?

No, there was nothing in the shower.

This is my Firefest.

What did you wipe your ass with?

Your hand.

And there's no soap.

And no soap.

This is Firefest, right?

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do?

Did you have soap in the kitchen?

There was nothing in my apartment.

There was nothing in my apartment. When did this happen? Last night.
Have you washed your hands? Yes. I had hand sanitizer.
I don't know if you did. Yeah, that was a lie.
How hot was the water? I mean, all right. What would you guys have done? You guys are making me feel bad.
There was nothing I could have done. There was nothing I could have done.
It was 10 o'clock at night. I was on the toilet.
And I realized, oh fuck, there's no toilet paper here. There's no shame.
And I used a towel and I threw away the towel. That's all I had.
When you're in the shower, are you facing away from the shower head? Yeah. Yes.
He's bidetting himself. My shower head was an overhead shower.
No big deal. Oh, so you were on your all fours.
I was literally just bent over. Yeah.
You were just getting blasted in the ass by your shower. No soap.
Again, like what? You guys are making me feel bad. Everyone's going to be like, oh, my God.
It's so gross. But like, all right, anyone that's going to tweet me and be like, dude, you're fucking disgusting.
Like,

give me something else that I should have done

in this situation.

Yeah, no,

you did everything you did.

Tell me what I was supposed to do

because I was thinking

about the options.

I was like,

all I can do

is really take a shower.

Yeah, no,

you did everything you could do.

Like,

replaying it,

I don't think there's

any other move you had.

My move.

It's more that you left out

the part that,

so that's where the shock came from.

But you had to do it. You could have used your boxer shorts And then just thrown those away Well I did the towel Yeah you did the towel Yeah you're good I don't think that you smelled bad today I didn't think so either We dug deep on that fire Yeah you guys No you shouldn't feel terrible That's the old jersey of the day You guys make me feel like sometimes you're like how could you have done that but it's like i in my head i'm like what else am i supposed to do that your guys reaction was like you're a crazy person no how could you do such a thing i think it's perfectly normal hold on you fucking slept here last night like you have no money in your bank account yeah that's true i my reaction was more i assumed there was soap so when you said no soap i was like what the fuck but i think Yeah, that's true.
My reaction was more, I assumed there was soap, so when you said no soap, I was like, what the fuck? No, there's nothing. That was part of my story.
You did everything you could do. Okay.
Is there a common bathroom in your old apartment? What do you mean? Like, is there a lobby bathroom? Yeah. I would have soaped there.
That's the only thing I would have done different afterwards. But wait, wait, wait.
Was this at your new apartment or your old apartment? My old apartment. Yeah.
All right. That's all I would have done different.
Everything else you did right. No shame.
Okay. Good job, Hank.
Thanks. I don't know how I even followed that fire fest up.
Yeah, no, that was one of the best fire fests ever. It also was funny because you were just going to say moving, and then we got to it.
Like, we kept on digging. Well, no, that was, of the best fire fest ever it also was funny because you were just gonna say moving and then we got to it like we we kept on digging well no that was yeah i mean whatever yeah i i'm not shaming you i really am not like i would have done the i just told you i wet my ass with coffee filters that's gross yeah you gotta do what you gotta do i've used a shit in the woods my other was it was that or plastic bag and i was like And I was like, I don't want to do.
No, that plastic bag wouldn't work.

I know.

It would smear it.

And it also tears.

Yeah.

No, you did everything.

I think the towel is important part of it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Can we move on?

I guess we can.

Are you good?

I'm good.

I just feel like you guys have like, no, we're not.

No, we're not.

I'm telling you that I think that you did everything you could do.

All right.

Thank you.

The only thing that I would say is maybe the lobby bathroom afterwards. But that's it.
Yeah. That's it.
Okay. Yeah.
But I don't think you're ever going to be back in this spot. I'm never going to be back at that spot.
Yeah, exactly. So you're good.
Okay. Wow.
Okay. Well, my Fyre Fest is just...
I have one just as gross, so don't worry. Mine's not even that bad.
I might just skip mine and let you go, Big Cat, because mine's just, I'm not going to the Jersey Shore this weekend. Oh, no.
And I finally get, after all these years, why people love the Jersey Shore. Never really understood it.
I'm now a big Jersey Shore guy. I might do this every single summer.
Same as Hank's. Yeah.
Yeah, Firefest. I can't go to my vacation house for the month this weekend.
You ready for this, Hank? That is a good Firefest. Yeah.
My son was a little sick this week. Now I have like dad's sick sense.
I caught my son's puke in my own hand. That's because I knew it was coming.
And I fucking caught the whole goddamn puke in my hands and the fire fest is that I didn't even blink I was like well this just happened that's it like that's dad's six cents yeah just but like it should have shocked me more I think that just happens the far like the more you get down the line with kids where things don't phase you like they should. So, yeah, that was an awakening of like, yeah, I just caught your puke, had no problem with it, threw it out, washed my hands, and then we'd just keep moving on.
If there was one of those old-school fantasy football commercials for fantasy dads, that would be in it. Like blindfolded, just sticking your hand out, catching the puke, throwing it away.
Just knowing when something bad is about to happen. Yep.
So there you go, Hank. We're kind of bros like that.
We just do gross shit. Fuck yeah.
I don't actually think that Hank's thing was that gross. No, it wasn't.
It actually wasn't gross. Mine was way gross.
You know what? I ate the puke too. I forgot about that part.
I licked it up. In a lot of countries, they don't even shower after they take a shit.
So Hank is more hygienic than probably 99% of the planet. That's a fact.
Good job, Hank. I feel like we're not in a good spot right now.
No, we're great. We're doing great.
Okay. Jake.
Yeah. My Fyre Fest is...
So by our desk, there is this clothing rack, and it is a disaster.

Okay.

I walk in like twice a week, and my suits are just on the floor because it keeps breaking.

You guys know what I'm talking about, right?

I don't think the listeners could relate as much, but you guys know.

It just collapses every day.

Yeah, there's only a thought about fixing it.

Or not wearing suits.

No, got to be professional.

Yeah, right.

I think that's the part that's like you kind of... They just break.
It just breaks every day. My understanding of the situation is it breaks, but you just lean.
Yeah, no. No one's fixed it.
No one's tried to fix it. No.
I discombobulated the whole thing, and then I put it back together. I think it's broken.
You could always... if you have to wear suits, you could just wear wrinkled suits.

Yeah.

No one's really going to care.

Yeah, see,

that's the thing

what you don't realize

is that clothing rack,

which I see,

I knock over all the time.

It breaks.

Yeah.

You're the only one

who cares about it.

You see my pile.

It has the PMT gear on it too.

Hank, what'd you do to your pile?

I have no idea.

What the fuck happened? I think the cleaning ladies are, which I fucking love, by the way. Yes, you know what I did? They're slowly just cleaning everything, and it's genius.
It's great. So they clean my desk.
Because Big Cat Charity shames me every time I ask them to clean the pile. They clean my desk and your desk, Hank, and I went up to one of the cleaning ladies a week later.
I was like, did you clean this desk? And she's like, yes. And I think she was like scared.
I was like, no, no, I wanted to like thank you. And I gave her...
Oh, you didn't charity shame her and say you don't care for charity? No, I gave her some money. So now I think she's going to clean our whole life up.
Oh, great. Because she's...
Because I... Yeah.
Okay. That answers that.
I came in work about a month ago, and my entire area was folded up and organized very neatly. It must have taken, I mean, definitely not under an hour to do all that.
So I feel good that I gave her money, but I also think that now she's going to, like, everything's going to disappear, which I'm okay with. I'm okay with it.
Billy, you don't care about charity? I care about charity. Jake, I will fix the wreck for you.
Like, get your glasses the one time. Nice, Billy.
But my Fyre Fest is that when we went to see the movie on Sunday, everyone was commenting, like, Billy, you're so baked. You're so baked.
You're so high. That got back to my mother.
So my mom called me. It was like, were you doing weed and watching movies? I was like, no.
I don't actually smoke weed. Then she started to remind me about the time in high school.
I came home way too high and thought I was so high I was going to die. You were one of those kids? Yeah.
Those guys usually stop smoking after. They do.
They do. They absolutely stop smoking.
Anyway, the weed is different nowadays. Yeah.
Bring back mids, right? Yeah. Then what? When you were in high school two years ago? Well, I was in high school and you take one hit and then all of a sudden you're so high you think you're going to die.
I literally got weed from the same person I did when you were in high school working for us. Yeah.
Yeah, five years ago. No, Billy's like, you guys don't understand the weed in 2016 is nowhere near as potent as it is right now.
the weed the weed jump happened in like 2009 10 somewhere around like it was like the special weed that you used to get once every six months started to just be the weed that was everyone's around yeah yeah so i'm not a weed guy but uh yeah so then i was like no i didn't do weed and no one believes me so your mom thinks're a stoner. Yes.
But you kind of are a stoner just without the smoke and the weed. Correct.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess.
Yeah. I can see that.
Yeah. Like that attitude, which is a good attitude.
Just perpetually high animals, food. I never thought of it that way.
Yeah. Eating a shitload of food, petting a lot of animals.
Fucking stuff up. You're high.
Forgetting everything.

Yeah.

Being late.

You're the high guy. Yeah, I'm not high.

You are the drug guy in this group, you know that?

Yeah. Yep.

Well.

Well, at least I don't spend money on weed and I'm

the high guy. Right, that's true.
I'm a cost

effective high guy. Your brain is just as powerful THC as you can get anywhere.
Exactly. All right, Bill, you got any recap for us? Yes.
So I want to talk about Texas. One thing you guys were talking about, Texas recruiting pool, you guys forgot about the NIL.
Yeah. Texas is going to be able to get way more NIL money for the recruits than probably other colleges with the Longhorns Network.
So I was thinking that would probably be a huge reason why they want to go into the SEC because they have this money they can pay the recruits. I just think they also see the future.
It's going to be a four conference. They don't want to be left out.
SEC is going to be a power conference. Do it.
Do you see Texas beating Vanderbilt and Mizzou? Yes. So they can compete.
Yeah, and also what they're going to do is I saw the scheduling thing, which it might actually be Mizzou. They're going to do like pods, 14 pods that you play everyone in your pod.
So if it were Texas A&M, Oklahoma, and Mizzou or Vandy, like they'll still, you know what I mean? They play Oklahoma every year no matter what. I think that it might be Oklahoma, A&M, Texas, LSU.
I don't think they would stack it that much because LSU would probably be with, I don't know, I'd have to look at it. No, because what would probably end up happening would be the north part would be the weakest, which would be like Mizzou, Kentucky, Vanderbilt.
I think they'd mix and match, though. Because remember, like East-West doesn't, like Mizzou's in the East.
Yeah. So they don't really follow geography right now.
Right. But they also have the opportunity to vote against Texas joining and Oklahoma joining.
And right now you have two teams that are probably going to vote no, which would be A&M. A&M for sure no.
And mizzou has already said that they're going to vote no against that so i think you need two more teams and that's where you're going to run into an interesting situation if there's a third team that says that they're going to vote no then every other team in the conference is going to threaten to vote no so that they can get something more yeah out of it it's like when there's if you're looking at Congress and there's like one person that could like decide the vote, they all start demanding like, oh, well, we need a new electric plant in my district. Right.
Right. So that's what's going to happen if you get one more to kind of jump over to that side.
Texas A&M will never vote yes. That makes sense.
Their vote. Because they don't want.
Their vote is like what is going to piss off Texas the most. And also what's going to screw us the most the most is Texas not being the only SEC school in Texas.
But that also means we get A&M versus Texas. Hopefully every year on Thanksgiving again.
Also, on the Bucs, all the media reported that he was eating nuggets. We now know it was chicken minis.
Thank you. Did you guys see the video of Brandon Jennings spitting beer at the crowd? Yeah, dude.
Brandon Jennings being 31 and being retired for three years blew my mind. I mean, his knees just went out.
He's like Brandon Roy. Remember him? The Blazers were going to win multiple championships.
Yeah, that sucks. Also, this is in solidarity with Hank.
One time, I came out of the bathroom without washing my hands in kindergarten. And then everyone called me poopy hands for the next two weeks.
I technically washed my hands, just not with soap. Yeah, no, you washed.
But, like, aren't you glad no one's calling you poopy hands? Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's not going to happen. No, no, no, no, no.
Billy, you're poopy hands. Yeah, Iy hands but i peed but i peed and i came out without washing my hands after peeing but everyone's like no you went poop and i was like no i went pee and then it was poopy hands poopy hands poopy hands hank has given billy the the biggest death star of all time because he knows exactly what billy's doing right now oh you're trying to get everybody to call hank no i'm just trying That's not going to work, Billy.
Anyway. His name's Stank Lockwood.
Goats drink each other's urine to wash their teeth. What? Goats.
Mountain goats. They're piss dogs? Yeah, they drink each other's piss to wash their teeth.
Crazy. Real quick, in the Barstool Sports Sportsbook, we've got a new prop coming out this weekend for USA Rugby.
Go bet on it. If USA Rugby wins by finishing in second place, if they're the silver medalist, I think it's plus 677 or something like that.
Are they going to finish second? They could. Okay.
They could. I mean, if you look back at their history, they're the most likely team to finish second place.
Games start on Monday.

I also have a parlay in there.

It's called a poop parlay.

It's not, but we can call it that.

Okay, poop parlay.

All right, numbers.

99, 66, 18, 85.

86. Oh, 86.
86. 86 86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86

86 Thank you. Shying away.
I'll be coming for your love. Take on me.
Take me on. I'll be gone.
In a day of day. Needless to say.
I'm on sentence.'ll be sorry We'll let it away Slowly learn if life is okay Stay up to me It's no better to be safe than sorry Stay up to me It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me, take me on

I'll become an adult dream All the things that you say Thank you. I'll be coming for you anyway.
You're shying away. I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be. Thank you.