
The Bucks Are NBA Champs, Collin Morikawa Joins The Show + Bezos & Guys on Chicks
The Milwaukee Bucks are NBA Champs. Giannis has an all time legendary performance and we break down Game 6. Chris Paul comes up short again and the Bucks are a super likeable champion (00:03:04 - 00:24:21). Hot Seat Cool Throne including Jeff Bezos taking his cock rocket to space (00:24:21 - 00:52:07). Open Champion Collin Morikawa joins the show to talk about his second major victory Sunday, the guy who put a fart machine at the 18th tee box, and taking the trophy home on Commercial (00:52:07 - 01:17:56). We finish with guys on chicks and billy's recap.
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, the Milwaukee Bucks are your NBA champions.
We talk about Game 6, an all-time historic performance from Giannis.
Just incredible to watch.
We're going to talk about the entire game. Chris Paul and the Suns.
Everything. We also have Hatsi Kultron.
We have the Open Championship Champion, Colin Morikawa. The golfer of the year.
Of the year, Colin Morikawa, which was awesome basically straight off a plane from england to part of my take uh and then we have guys on chicks and billy's recap before we get to all of that we're gonna get right back to the show the last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button. Get a quote today.
Restrictions apply. USAA.
All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let's go.
Boy! Boy! We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take brought to you by our friends at Cross Country Mortgage. Go to crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool right now.
Today is Wednesday, July 21st, and the Milwaukee Bucs are your NBA champions.
We just watched an all-time, all-time performance from Giannis,
and the Bucs, they're champions.
They're champs, and I think it's one of the top three or four game six performances of all time. You know what some of the others are? So obviously Michael Jordan would be one.
The other would be LeBron James against the San Antonio Spurs. That's the game where they actually got that meme from with LeBron putting his face down, looking like ready for action.
Yeah. Giannis' game tonight was better than both those.
I mean, it was 50 points. In a clincher, the last time it happened was 1958.
He had 50 points, 14 rebounds, 5 blocks. He was all over the place.
He was possessed. As much as in Game 5 we talked about how the big three for Milwaukee stepped up and Drew Holiday and Chris Middleton were phenomenal.
They didn't have it tonight. Offensively.
Giannis had to basically do it all himself and he did it. And it's just, I don't really know.
Like it's very rare that we have these type of moments in sports where you have a guy that is kind of universally loved. Like people just love this guy because he's such an incredible story i was just
watching a clip before we started janice it like i think it was probably 2011 2012 he was like yeah i just started playing basketball in 2008 he's 26 years old he's been playing basketball for less than half of his life he just won the nba title he just put in probably the greatest clinching performance of all time.
He was insane
all series. He had three games that were more than 40 points.
I have a stat for you as well. So he averaged 35-13-5 in this series.
Insane. He's the first player ever to average 30-10-5 on 60% shooting in a final series.
First time ever and just just throw this in there he basically broke his knee like three weeks ago he's not human that was i while we were watching it we were all saying that sitting there and being like this is something we may never see again this is you when you know that you're watching history during the game, it's just special.
And on top of all that, we got some free tacos.
Well, free tacos is a big storyline.
That's why everybody in America was rooting for Giannis tonight.
I mean, it is kind of crazy looking back at his life.
I think when he was 11 years old, he was selling bootleg shirts, CDs, and DVDs on the street.
That's what his job was.
And now he is, I think we could have the torch discussion, whether or not the torch has been passed.
I'm going to go to the next one. shirts cds and dvds on the street that's what his job was and uh and now he is i think we could we could have the torch discussion whether or not the torch has been passed i feel like that's not even the correct discussion to have i feel like we should have a crown discussion i think i think the crown yeah is now yannis's i think that it's no longer king james i think it's king yannis oh okay i mean this was because like when...
Because when Giannis is cooking like that, there's nobody that can stop him. The problem wasn't just finding somebody that could defend against Giannis.
The problem was almost like you can't find somebody that's strong enough to foul Giannis. He did everything.
That picture where he's gained like 50 pounds in seven years was insane. It was a different person.
In like seven inches? In seven inches't know how yeah he just grew and grew and grew but yeah the backstory of yannis is exceptional they were sharing the um story as a rookie he sent uh all his money back to greece to his family and there was a story that he sent all his money western union to greece and he didn't have enough money to get a cab to the game. And a random stranger in Milwaukee picked him up and was like, aren't you on the Bucs? And was like, thank you so much.
Please get me to the game. That's the kind of guy, that's the story we have with Giannis.
And then the story in the landscape of today's NBA is just as incredible because we talked about this last show but when Giannis was like okay this guy is special all anyone talked about he wins MVPs all anyone talked about Wolves can't wait till he's on the Lakers or the Heat or wherever he goes no he decides to stay he stays they make the necessary moves around him it's the antithesis of everything we've seen in the nba in the last 10 years i'm not gonna it's not i'm not doing like a big indictment on super teams but it's okay to say janice stayed in a small market and he won for the city of milwaukee and it should be applauded and it's a special story i'm gonna put this out there it's. It's good for the game.
It is. Giannis is good for the game.
The Bucs winning is good for the game. Oh yeah.
Also, he somehow figured out how to shoot free throws. Yeah, that was incredible tonight.
He went 17 for 19
from the free throw line tonight. No idea how that
even happened. I'm actually happy he missed that last one
because 50 on the spot is so much better
than 51. I'm never going to forget that.
Yeah, one day it's going to be
a trivia question and I'll remember exactly
where I was and who had those 50 points.
I don't know how you just
all of a sudden flip the switch and you're like
I'm going to go. than 51 yeah one day it's gonna be a trivia question yeah i'll remember exactly where i was and who had those 50 points um i don't know how you just all of a sudden flip the switch and you're like i'm an elite free throw shooter tonight he was in the zone all night i don't i don't know how it's even my best guess is that somebody just did the old drill with him where it's like look two balls can fit through the hoop at the same time yeah and he was like oh my god that's crazy this is what want, though, out of your all time players is to have these moments where it's like, OK, the the the trophies in the in the stadium, they're champagne on ice.
You know, that second quarter was abysmal. Can you dig deep, find a way and like just will yourself and will your team to a championship? and that's exactly he did that's like if you watch that game there's nothing else to say besides Giannis willed them to a title tonight and it was 65,000 people outside the stadium that was insane it was such fucking fans rule man you know what I want to do like my dream scenario is if I get enough money I start getting older I would just want to fly to every single town that's celebrating a championship yeah just like overnight just like at the end of the day or at the end of the game pick which city i'm going to goes the same like college football saturday there's a big upset going on like when appalachian state was beating michigan i'm gonna fly to boone north carolina that night and just party party yeah you know who the biggest loser of the night is? Who? Devin Booker has to get on a flight to Tokyo with Drew Holiday and Chris Milton tomorrow.
You mean Lauren Holiday's husband. Wow.
By the way, Drew Holiday, this kind of shocked me, he actually led the finals in plus-minus with plus 159. Oh, no, sorry.
Oh, it was the whole playoffs. Plus 159, these playoffs for the Bucs.
Wow. His shot was not there tonight, but his defense, that just speaks to how good his defense has been.
All series, all playoffs, and again, it goes back to them making that decision of like, let's go get a guy, let's trade a bunch of pieces. People criticize it at times, but it got you a title.
Flags fly forever. it doesn't matter like i every janice was doubted many times by me by everyone here and he proved everyone wrong and they win a fucking title it was just incredible i got another question about the tacos is that one of these situations where i have to wait a month and remember the date or the tacos there for me tomorrow i'm not sure jay can that out? Find that out for us.
Figure out, do some taco math. Some other crazy Giannis stats.
That is the seventh player in NBA history at 50 points in the finals. The last two to do it were LeBron James and Michael Jordan.
Pretty good company for a guy. Pretty good company for a guy who's 26 years old.
So at the age of 26, LeBron James, two MVPs, zero titles. Giannis, two MVPs, one title.
And a Defensive Player of the Year, which I think I saw that stat too, that the only players to win multiple MVPs, Defensive Player of the Year, final MVP is Michael Jordan and Giannis. Wow.
That's it. And the...
I know that everyone's going to go old takes exposed with a lot of tweets because you can do it forever i think it's kind of lame at the end of the day because like everyone has bad opinions but i do have to just say it was it's very funny because people were retweeting the bucks announcing their pick in 2013 on twitter and it says with the 15th selection in 2013 nba drafted milwaukee Bucks, select Giannis Antetokounmpo, hashtag Bucks draft. The first reply is, what? Who? I can't even say this freaking guy's name.
Hashtag Benchwarmer, hashtag NotAStar, hashtag IQuit, hashtag WTF, hashtag Mediocrity, hashtag 9th seed Bucks. I always respect anyone who uses that many hashtags.
And then the second one was way to reach with that pick. Should have taken Larkin.
Talking about Shane Larkin. Yeah, that's the exact bit.
Ben Roseless, what a nice pick cower. I just, really, all takes is close.
Like I said, everyone's got them. But when you have that many hashtags, you do need a shout out.
So shout out that guy. Hashtag Benchwarmer.
It sounds like that was a time traveler doing satire. Yeah.
Like somebody that flew back from tonight to make that tweet to make us all laugh in the future. It couldn't have been better.
Juan Solo is his name on Twitter. Hashtag Benchwarmer.
Hashtag Not A Star. Hashtag I Quit.
Hashtag WTF. Wait's his name on Twitter? It's Geezy underscore ACG.
Spell Geezy. G-E-E-Z-Y.
Juan Solo. ACG.
Or ACG. I've got the taco information.
It'll be tomorrow, Thursday, July 22nd, all day, in-store, online, or in the app, a free Flamin' Hot Doritos Locos taco. Well, we have to do it.
I'm on a'm on a diet but you have to do it for yannis also i feel like it should be the end of this podcast intentionally mispronouncing yannis's name i switched it up tonight yeah it's yannis i pronounced him correctly yeah me too but i'm down he deserves it i'm not every time i try did that bother you jake it did you were good yeah but hank and pft would purposely go all over the other. I think would purposely go all over that.
I think we would go on Giannis. It's Giannis.
He earned his name tonight. I'm not going to do the last name just because I'm going to screw up even if I know how to pronounce it.
Oh, I got it now. Atatukomko.
Nope. It's okay.
I read it. When I was reading it, I just read it correctly just now.
I'm not even going to try it. Giannis Antet could...
Now I'm in my own head. I said it right the first time.
Antetokounmpo. There we go.
As far as I'm concerned, that was a B there, not a P. He's King G.
King G. I mean, it's just...
I know that I'm just repeating myself, but it bears repeating. When you watch something like that, it's why we watch sports.
It was just fucking incredibly so likable.
And Chris Middleton, I think he was
bleeding out of his eye. He was bad tonight,
but it doesn't matter because he carried them
many times throughout the playoffs.
Frank Kaminsky did all he could. Frank Kaminsky
game is a footnote
in history, but man,
you gotta think that series goes differently
if they give Frank major minutes. And Chris Paul, protector through and through to the bitter end chris paul so we should talk about chris paul so uh i mean lebron did tweet two down two to go uh and they didn't win another game i i mean that was i don't know it's it i know that there'll be people like hey, Chris Paul, all-time player, like Hall of Famer, like this will define his legacy.
Whether you want it to or not, it will. He came up short.
Oh, look at Monty Williams doing a little Coach K. He's in the opposing locker room.
Is he congratulating? Well, that's not the Coach K. Is he teaching them a lesson? Budenholz are going into the Suns locker room.
After winning? I could actually see Bud doing that because he just gives off big stepdad vibes. Yeah, shout out to him, by the way, because he's been fired by the NBA media like 75 times.
He just keeps showing up to work. And he just, yeah, and even at the end, like, I know that's what he wore during the game, but him doing the postgame, it was like, way to dress up, dude.
Like, you look like shit. Yeah, he's always wearing like the black quarter zip that zipped all the way up into a mock turtleneck.
Yeah. And then he's got the long black pants, and then it looks like he's wearing air walks.
Yeah. It definitely looks like he's going to sit down on a chair backwards and be like, what's up, sport? Let me wrap it to you guys real quick about your decisions.
Oh, in 50 years since the Bucks one i do i did have to say the one thing that bothered me was the fact that their shirts said two-time champs nba champs that that was confusing i think 50 years a long time to be like me on the ring the ring it makes sense on the t-shirt right after it's a little confusing i agree because it makes me think like wait wait i've never seen the but it reminds me of how long it's been since they've last right exactly but man what a what a uh what a final what a finals that was an awesome final it was like that was there were so many iconic moments in the finals and for it to be wrapped up in a legendary game like this by janice it was incredible i i i had some doubts going into the last couple series of this playoffs just because everybody did get kind of injured right off the bat, but this delivered. This was an awesome finals filled with incredible moments, mostly from Giannis.
Yeah. Shout out me and Hank knowing when to get off the Suns bandwagon after game four.
Well, I'd still help. I forgot about the Kardashian curse.
Yeah, that was tough. But that was, you know, Suns were fun.
I'm not going to apologize for supporting the Suns. Yeah, no, the Suns, they tried really hard.
I don't know. They have good players going forward.
What do you do if you're Ryan or Silla right now? Probably KMS. Yeah, I don't know.
Probably just do some squats. Probably KMS with your squat machine.
Probably trap myself in a squat machine. Yeah.
And then I have the the garage door shut on me. How happy do you think...
Turn the car on, close the... How happy do you think LeBron is, for real? He's happy.
He did. No, he's he...
No, no, he's happy. I think he's happy.
Yeah. No, he doesn't like Giannis.
No, no. He's like bullied into tweeting about Giannis.
No, because I think after the fact, once LeBron retires, he can be like, I passed my torch to Giannis.
The league is in good hands where I brought it to.
And he doesn't want to.
He doesn't want.
We're talking about how it's King Giannis now.
Yeah, but he likes how.
What King likes to get under the throne.
No, but you know that he's going to just be incredible next year
because he'll do HGH and then be like.
No, I don't know that.
And then he'll be like, this old head still got it. No, I'm just it.
In the regular season. I feel like he wasn't really rooting for Chris Paul.
I disagree. I wholeheartedly disagree.
Is that why he showed up sitting on the sidelines, drinking his own tequila, dressed to the nines at Chris Paul's big game? No, he wanted distractions from Chris Paul. He does not like Giannis, and I don't think he's happy Giannis won.
I think he would have much rather had Chris Paul win.
I still can't believe this fucking game.
50 points, 16 for 25 shooting, and 17 for 19 from the free throw line.
Like that Michael Jordan, the only player to win MVP, DPOI, and finals MVP,
and it's just him and Jordan, That's got to drive Ron crazy.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
That is true. And I love it.
Adedokumbo. It is the B.
It is. Yeah.
Adedokumbo. Adedokumbo.
Adedokumbo. Adedokumbo.
Adedokumbo. I don't like how you say it.
Adedokumbo. I'm just reading their game notes.
I've always respected his first name. I've struggled with his last name.
D-E-D-O dash K-O-O-N dash B-O.
Adedekumbo.
Bobby Portis, Bull for Life. I always suspected his first name.
I've struggled with his last name. D-E-D-O dash K-O-O-N dash B-O.
I did a combo.
Bobby Portis, Bull for Life.
Happy for him.
That's another rootable.
Like, they actually, the Bucs do have a team,
and I know that eventually we'll all tear them down because that's what we do.
We did it with two Warriors,
although I don't think there's a Kevin Durant that's going to join the Bucs,
but they have a team just full of likable dudes.
Like, they really are.
Do you think Middleton and Drew Holiday are kind of mad they agreed to play for Team USA now? Yes. A million percent.
Wait, when do they have to go? Like tomorrow. No, they're not going.
Well, who are we going to get to take their place at this point? They can't. They can't go.
Frank Kaminsky will take their place on Team USA. No, they can't go.
They can't go. I mean, they have to go.
No, they can't go. They have to party.
You have to party. You have to be shirtless for the next at least 48 hours.
Oh, you know what? Maybe they won't be allowed to go because they're going to party so hard that they won't like COVID and everything. I would consider getting COVID.
I don't know. I mean, that's – You can't miss...
Dude, there's going to be a week-long party in one of the cities that just loves to drink beer more than any other city. You have to stay.
And you're going to a fan-less Tokyo. Oh, yeah.
That's brutal. I think what I would do, I would just make it very public how many people I was around over the course of the next couple days.
Yeah. And then just kind of force their hand.
Contract trace yourself. Yeah, exactly.
Force the Japanese authorities to be like, we will not allow visa entry to these people. Oh, man.
That's brutal. Yeah.
You know what I'd do? I'd fucking take my passport and I'd flush it down the toilet. Seriously.
I would lose my passport on purpose. No chance you can go to that.
That is funny, though, if Devin Booker has to sit on a plane with them. Devin Booker was really bad tonight.
He was very bad. He was 8 for 22.
That was tough. Especially the first half.
Yeah, he was very bad. Actually, Chris Paul didn't have a terrible game.
He just had a bad series. And I'm looking at my man Frank and he was sick frank was the only who he and jay crowder were the only two oh he frank kaminsky jay crowder and cameron pain were the only ones that weren't in the negative tonight and frank kaminsky perfect plus minus of zero yep not negative not trying to show anybody up not negative negative.
Anything else? Anything else on the game?
I mean, the Bucs.
I mean, Scott Foster.
The legend takes care of business.
Yeah.
I thought it was finally.
Yeah.
There wasn't that.
This is as good as you can hope for in a closeout game.
Giannis did take the same amount of free throws as the entire Suns team,
which people will note. But what are you going to do? Well, I mean, under normal circumstances, I think the Suns would be fine with that.
But the fact is he was making them. Yeah, he was making all of them.
And, you know, Milwaukee's going to have a fucking hell of a party. It is crazy how Giannis makes DeAndre Ayton look tiny.
Yeah. Isn't it? He can just bully him, just drive at him and muscle him out of the way, and Ayton looks utterly helpless.
When you see him go against most players in the league, he's able to just eat them up when they come into the paint. Speaking of which, you want to do some bad radio real quick? Always.
Okay. You ready for this picture? Four.
You ready for this picture of The Rock with Charles Barkley and Shaq? Yeah. It's shocking.
I just sent it to everyone's phone. One instant reaction.
Oh, yeah. Four, two, two, one.
It's now on sale. The palindrome is on sale.
Did you get it? Oh, my God. The rock looks like a 10-year-old.
The tiniest human ever. Is that not incredible? That is crazy.
that's shack and charles barkley and the rock looks like a pipsqueak i think sometimes people forget how big charles barkley is yeah like lengthwise right and that was bad radio because no one can see it maybe bubo put it into the youtube please subscribe to the youtube channel like all of our videos yeah're going to have more and more visual content in this podcast. Yes.
So you'll be completely lost if you don't subscribe. I got to remember that I'm happy for Bucs fans.
I'm just going to pretend they're not Packers fans. They're not.
It's like when LeBron won in Cleveland. It's like those are Browns fans, not Cavs fans.
I think a lot of them are college football fans.
Yeah, there we go.
Probably Madison University, Wisconsin fans.
There we go.
Also, I wanted to shout out the owner, or the two owners getting to lift the trophy first.
That's always so funny to me, when those little nerds that you never see come out.
And the first guy, he almost dropped it.
It was too heavy.
Yeah.
It looked like him.
Weird ownership group.
The heaviest thing that guy's ever picked up is like a bag of kitty litter before yeah i did they win that did they win the bucks in a raffle i think so yeah like what those guys were i think it was like they weren't really great like i just expected i don't know really rich dude thought he might have some public speaking ability nope nope i think it was a bingo game actually what the fuck oh so congrats to the Bucs. I'm sure we'll talk about the parade and everything else on Friday's show, but incredible NBA finals.
Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore season is now officially here.
Let's go. We have a sweetest time of the year.
We have a great one for Friday, but the Bucs deserved NBA champs. Giannis out of this world, in the league right now you have to do that right crown him you have to do it as of right this second until someone else takes his crown and yeah city Milwaukee I mean Bucs fans that's all time all time night all time everything and it's also in the middle of summer which is awesome like that's a you know added bonus because it's not the best place to live all year round is it is this the start of like you've got the bucks winning a championship and then christian yelich putting up 21 home runs and i'm trading aaron rogers because you can just slip it underneath everything right now during the parade um all right let's get to hot seat cool throne brought to you by Molson Coors' Time for That Beer campaign.
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Hank, hot seat, cool throne. Lay it on us.
I can't tell if when you do that ad, if you're saying campaign the way you say campaign. Campaign, yeah.
Or if you say campaign's name the way you say campaign, both. But every time you say that, I like look up like, where's campaign? It sounds exactly the same, like raffle and raffle.
Yeah. Campaign.
Hank, you're looking slim. Thank you.
Cool. Throne.
Appreciate it. I didn't mean it.
Wow. But that's good to bump, boost them up.
He's trying to get six packs. That's very similar.
He was actually serious. Six packs is on packs is on hold until August.
We got too much stuff going on. Six pack was supposed to be delivered by August.
Grit week. Grit week.
We've got some time in August for him to build up today. I'm in preparation.
I'm working my way up into working on it. I got a lot going on.
I trust you. You got to get ready to get ready.
Right. Right.
You got to walk before you run. Right.
on the hot seat. Oh, again? Poland.
The whole country? No, just the swim team. But kind of the country.
It's their federation, the Polish Swimming Federation, I guess. They had to send six swimmers home because they accidentally sent too many to the Olympics.
Oh, this is a Polish joke. Okay.
Wow. Okay, what's the punchline? Go ahead.
Billy, you want to say the punchline? It's a Polak joke. Yeah.
Oh, that's a, I got. Oh, it's a big thing.
You don't know. Screen door submarine.
Yeah. Right.
Oh, all right. I got duped then.
Why do you think it's fake? Oh, wait, I couldn't tell if you, I thought, is that an onion article I read? No, no, no. There's like a list of Polish jokes that people used to tell when you were like 10 years old.
Like PFT just said, ever hear about the Polish submarine? And they tried to put a screen door in. You ever heard about how they tried to go to the sun at night? Oh, you got it? No.
And we respect our Polish listeners. I think I actually might be a little bit Polish, so I can say all these things.
Billy. Oh, it's a real story.
It's true. Yeah.
It is. Okay.
It's a real story. It's administrative error.
So it's a real, it's life imitating art. Yeah.
I mean, I don't know about any of those jokes. I just thought it was crazy that imagine, you know, your lifelong dream is to make the Olympics.
You get sent to the Olympics and then you get there and you're like, hey, actually quick administrative error. You guys got to get on the plane and go home like there's a video of the of the swimmers like leaving like how depressing is that that is terrible that's tough i mean it you got to have your eyes open though if you're poland and you're like wait we're sending more than six swimmers to the olympics i don't know much about the polish swimming culture but i'm pretty sure that they're not they're not really a powerhouse yeah you never know what happened to the polish hockey team i don't know anything like you they all drowned in spring training that's good okay then my uh my cool throne is just movies film cinema uh we went to the movies on sunday it was great it was good to be back there and i do feel like with all these new trailers coming out there was a lot of movies that got held during the pandemic but jackass forever the trailer came out yes the last duel with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in like medieval times yes that came out that trailer came out today that looks sick and I feel like it's just going to be hit after hit after hit after hit for the next few months because there's so much backlog yeah jackass forever I'm so excited for we I think people really actually enjoyed our movie review.
We're not going to do it all the time, but I think Jackass Forever would be a perfect time to do it again. For sure.
Absolutely, yeah. The Jackass movies are the perfect comedy.
Yes, they really are. I don't think that you can actually get funnier.
Maybe we can go through the whole anthology. I'll just say right now.
The only way you can make a funnier movie than Jackass is to make another sequel to Jackass i will say that uh i might cry i might cry for jackass forever because this will probably be the end um yeah i read i read an article from johnny knoxville he's not his body isn't really doing great what he's he's had like a million injuries dislocated everything yeah so and he now he's got the gray hair he's like a a silver fox. He's been dying his hair since he was, I think, in his early 20s.
Yeah. I think that the gray hair is going to make this funnier.
Yes. Because like an old guy getting hit in the nuts.
You don't see that every day. Yeah.
So I'm going to cry probably at the end of that, but we will do a review. Guaranteed.
Did you hear about the Polish kamikaze pilot? What? No. He flew 48 successful missions.
It's comedy. Yeah, no, it's comedy, guys.
It's comedy. Don't start saying that, you know.
Come on. That's comedy.
That's just good old-fashioned comedy. I had no idea what I was walking into there, for the record.
I was just trying to talk about the swimmers.
All right.
How do you...
What?
We're not going to do any more.
You want to do one more?
Do one more.
All right, all right, all right.
What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
I don't know.
Run like hell.
He's still got a hot grenade in his teeth.
All right. All right.
Yeah. Shout out, Aaron Rybkowski.
Anyways, hotowski. Is this just because they're bad at war? No, I don't know where it came from.
It's because they're bad at war. It's like the old saying, do you know why they put a glass bottom on the bottom of their battleships? So that they can see their old battleships.
No, I mean, yeah, it's not funny. You know what? It's really not funny.
We're actually illuminating how not funny it is.
Yeah, I think that people didn't realize the rampant, pervasive stereotypes that people
have about Polish people until we had to remind them.
Yeah, exactly.
Do you have any other reminders, Big Cat?
What do you do if a Polak throws a hand grenade at you?
Take the pin out and throw it back.
So I guess it is bad at war. Yeah, bad at war.
Mostly bad at war. Is that it, Hank? Yeah.
Okay, my hot seat is being first when it comes to scoops. Apparently it's not cool to be first.
You know what's really cool? To be right? To be last. Oh.
To be the last person to wait for a long time and then put out that same scoop again. So the report came out today via adam schaefter of espn he said that uh the packers offered aaron rogers a contract to try to make him the highest paid quarterback and player in the nfl for the next two years they offered him a contract extension which he turned down that report came out today turns out that report came out five months ago and adam schaefter had it leaked to him about somebody today, or somebody leaked it to Adam Schefter today, and said, hey, you might want to report this one, Adam.
And I think Tony Kornheiser said that he thought it was probably the Packers management. No, duh.
Yeah, duh. Obviously, it was the front office there.
So he got back in the news cycle by just reporting something that has already happened, which is actually just great. Like, repurposing scoops given our short attention spans.
That could work. If you just give me like five months ago scoops, listen, deliver it to me right now.
Listen, Jason Derulo just fell down the stairs. Yeah.
That woman yelled at LeBron after the finals game. Listen, this was going to be my hot seat, but Aaron Rodgers scoops just feed them to me.
I love all of them. So all I got from this is you can't buy Aaron Rodgers' love.
He's a man of principle. Stop trying to do this, Green Bay.
But that does suck that he's repurposing it because I thought it was like just happened yesterday. So then Aaron Rodgers is really not going to report, but I think he's going to report.
It's just a reminder. It's kind of like how people for the last three years have been saying, don't let this distract you from the fact that the Golden State Warriors play a 3-1 lead.
We could just take so many things that happened this offseason because there were so many transactions that we've all forgotten. For example, did you know that Emmanuel Sanders is a Buffalo Bill? I want to say I did know that.
I forgot about that.
Part of my take is reporting that the Buffalo Bills have signed Emmanuel Sanders.
Corey Davis, New York Jet.
That's right.
Yeah.
Mark Ingram.
People missed that one.
Mark Ingram.
You know where he's at?
According to part of my take,
our sources are telling us Mark Ingram
has signed a deal with the Houston Texans.
Nice.
Well, is that a real franchise still?
No, they're probably not going to play.
They're going to scrimmage each other.
I'm actually, like, it's not a joke that I wouldn't be shocked if the Texans were like, we're not doing this season.
What's up with the show?
What's up with the show?
Yeah.
Big Cat, I actually think that we might have reported that the Texans won't play a season like three months ago. It's exclusive.
Very bizarre. Very bizarre.
Yeah. And they're going to stink? A lot? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, big time. Although Billy, I think we should tap Billy in here because Billy does have a scoop about the Houston Texans.
Uh-oh. He told me this before he started taping.
There was a tweet that said, hey, Deshaun Watson, I've had you on my fantasy team since 2017, and I was just wondering if you were playing this season, just like this message, like this tweet, if it's true. And he liked the tweet.
Oh, all right. There we go.
Shetzer doesn't have that scoop. Nope.
Exclusive. Yes, Billy.
Hell yes. Where did you see that? Billy, did you actually check his legs, or did you just see a screenshot of Deshaun Watson? No, I checked his legs.
I took getting dirty now yeah i like this uh cool throne is drinking paint instead of using sunscreen bruce arians had a picture come out today the bucks took a tour of the white house they met major biden and the rest of the crew up there and uh bruce arians was front and center in the picture with the president and he was he was more red than the buuccaneers logo is. I don't know if you've seen a picture of him.
B-15762. That was his Pantone.
He looked like the Kool-Aid man in the front row. I think he's slowly turning into the sun.
Yes, it was shocking, to say the least. He looked like an embarrassed cartoon character.
Yeah. I want to shout out I Don't see Race Bannon on Twitter, who said, what are you guys going to say about the golden boy Brady shitting on the shit stain Trump? Can't wait to see you guys call him a race traitor.
I don't know what that guy was looking for. I just want to shout him out.
What does he want us to do? I just saw it. He put a lot of emojis in it, so it popped off.
I don't know. I don't know what he wants me to say.
What emojis do you put with that? Crying Three Three crying faces And then a cry Three crying faces Hank Like laughing crying Laughing crying Yeah I don't know I don't know which way he thinks I don't know what he thinks my take is going to be Wait I don't have a take What was What was his screen name? I don't see Race Bannon That sounds like a really cool guy Yeah I don't Whatever I just sometimes a tweet will just pop off in your eye. You see it and you're like, oh, fuck.
That's just really confusing. This guy wants me to comment on it.
Well, here's my comment. I don't know what you're talking about.
How about Tom Brady's MCL, Hank? Have you commented on that? No, but I will have a comment on his performance at the White House. He looked great standing up there speaking to our nation.
I could see it happening in the future. What, him running for president? Yeah.
Wow. You think so? He was great, dropping jokes.
Yeah, I guess. That actually got my vote.
Yeah, good looking guy. Everyone loves him.
Winner. Proving winner.
Do you have a comment, though, about his MCL issues from last year? I mean, he's hockey tough. He's a hero.
He's a true hero. Do you think there's a – so here's the spin zone you should go with if you're a Bucs fan.
Like, he used to take less money to win for the Patriots, and then he literally just didn't disclose an injury to win with the Bucs. No, I think that Tom Brady's just so tough that he didn't realize that his MCL was torn.
Foreo gets pissed about that. That's the pliability.
Well, I'm only pissed that I bet on the Bucs in that one game against the Saints. Yeah.
That was a mistake. Yeah.
That was a big mistake. Yeah.
I don't get the – I mean, it blows my mind. I don't fully understand injuries, obviously, but obviously it wasn't that bad if he won the Super Bowl, so why would people be upset that he didn't report it? Clearly it wasn't that bad.
Florio thinks that people – the injury report is there for a reason. Respect it.
He probably thinks He probably thinks that if you're Tom Brady, you're probably so tough and such an elite athlete that your MCL is probably more pliable than Giannis Atatunco's. Yeah.
It is very funny, though, that he spent his entire career at the Patriots. I think he was on the injury report every single week with a shoulder and then he went and actually had a real bad knee injury and never popped up on the report.
Well, I'm sure, though, at the time with the Patriots, he probably had similar injuries that they were just putting questionable shoulder. Yeah.
He probably just told it to Bruce Aarons when he was blacked out. He forgot to put it on the list.
That's also true. Sun poisoning.
All right. My hot seat.
That's not really his fault. He doesn't make the reports.
That's true. Yeah, that's true.
That is true. My hot seat is I'm going to pivot here all the fantasy owners that have done their fantasy drafts right now, and they have Cam Akers.
There's always a few. In July? Yeah.
Well, it's also keeper leagues, but I do think there are. I do love early August.
I don't love injuries, but I love early August when people are like, dude, I just drafted you last night. Who the fuck does their fantasy draft the day before the season starts? You know what? I was thinking the same thing.
It's weird if you have your draft in July, but it's actually almost more enthralling. You should have your draft even before the NFL draft.
Yeah, why not? And just have an entire offseason where everything that you put in
for that upcoming season just gets put to shit.
It does just kind of fast-track the season.
It's like, here we go.
Yeah, I mean, you always hear about somebody,
usually it's Jake Butt that tears his ACL in, like, March.
Yeah.
And then somebody will always, like, have their season ruined
before even training camp starts.
It would be funny if there's a team, if there's a league out there,
hopefully someone is listening who has this, who had Cam Akers, drafted him this year, had that injury, and now is trying to work a trade before we even play the first preseason game to sure up their roster. Is Todd Gurley still out there? I think so.
He was trending a little bit today. He probably doesn't want to go back because of the whole they still owe him money thing.
Yeah. Currently a free agent.
Okay, so maybe that's the answer. My cool throne is Jeff Bezos because he did it.
He went to space. The real cool throne though is guys who are maybe overcompensating for something because usually it used to be like, hey I'm going to go out and buy a really nice sports car when I'm in my 50s, maybe get an earring, whatever.
Jeff Bezos, he fucking built a penis rocket and then played just the tip with space. He didn't even go into space.
He went to the edge of it. He couldn't, in his wildest dreams, he couldn't even insert his big penis rocket into space.
No, he couldn't hit the ozone. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's fucking crazy.
I couldn't believe that was the rocket. Yeah.
Well, do you think anyone said, hey, Jeff, we're looking over the rocket here. Did you realize that you're just having a midlife crisis and overcompensating here? They wouldn't get paid.
It's not even just the rocket. So he goes up, does just the tip with the atmosphere, falls down to earth.
What's the very first thing he does when he lands? He puts on a cowboy hat. Yep.
And he's not a cowboy hat guy. He's not a cowboy hat.
And if you're wearing a big ass cowboy hat out of nowhere, you got a tiny dick, bro. Yeah.
You got a big time tiny dick. That's just how it works.
You know what? You probably could have used that however many hundreds of millions of dollars to go just touch the tip of space and get like a penis transplant, right? I have to imagine doctors can do penis transplants. The thing is he's turned his entire body into a penis at this point.
So his whole body in his penis body with his tiny little penis in his penis rocket played just the tip. Yeah, like a Russian ball of dicks dicks.
Did they go to zero gravity? Yeah, they did for maybe three minutes. I love that picture where he's like, the view is incredible, and it was nothing.
It was scrambled porn. New York is smoggy because of a fire in California.
You can't see anything. You can't see shit.
Yeah, if you wanted to go to outer space, you kind of missed your chance 40 years ago. Space is kind of overrated at this point.
Like, unless we can start going to see actual other planets, not interested. Put a person on Mars.
Then I'll be impressed. Actually, you know what? Strike that.
Bring an alien to me. I did.
I think I'm out on space until Tom DeLonge personally lassoes me an alien. I did see one guy.
There was an 18-year-old on the flight whose hedge fund father bought him a seat.
Oh, so he's like the F-1 guy.
Yeah.
The astronaut.
Yeah.
This guy tweeted, I'm genuinely surprised and impressed that the 18-year-old kid whose hedge fund dad bought him a seat on Bezos' spaceship is not going to Duke.
Where credit is due.
I think that's true.
I think that's true.
That's a good point.
Wait, didn't Lance Bass from NSYNC go to space already? Did he? Also, Branson did it last week. Yeah.
Bro, you're late. Well, Branson's aircraft flew even lower than Jeff Bezos.
These guys are just doing fucking red eyes from LA to New York. I actually think that Branson is less midlife crisis.
He's just going through his end-of-life crisis because his rocket ship isn't about dicks and sex. It's actually called Virgin.
Got it. Yeah, that's true.
He's kind of the alpha in that. Yeah, he is the alpha.
I'm so rich that I don't even need to get laid anymore. It would be funny if the scientists who put Bezos in space were like, listen, he's not going to believe any of this shit.
So we just make a fucking rocket that goes like, I don't know, 4,000 feet in the air. We turn off the gravity inside of it and we're like, hey, man, this was sick, right? You know what I would? Pocket the rest.
Yeah, if I was the head astronaut, I would actually just install super high definition LED screens on what appears to be all the windows. Yeah.
And then just like have somebody stand outside and shake the rocket. Maybe like put some flames on the side, make it up for a second, and then turn on the lights on the LED screens.
And you're like, oh, shit, this is incredible. Yeah, knock them out right as they're going up.
And be like, dude, guess you couldn't handle the Gs. Yeah.
Sorry. Lance Bass was supposed to go in 2002 from Kazakhstan, and he got kicked off the ship because TV producers failed to raise $20 million.
Also, Chet Hanks and Adele were never a thing, PFT. Put some respect on her name.
That was... They weren't? She wishes.
No, he wished. By the way, I don't think that you phrased that correctly.
Kicked off the rocket. I think if you're going to go to space and they can't raise enough money, you kick yourself off the rocket.
Yeah, like, you don't say... Just reading the headline.
It's like, hey, you got to get off this... Well, no, no, no.
I'm on my way. Don't worry about it.
Yeah, I got kicked out of my new mansion in the Hamptons yesterday. It's like, oh, we spared a couple expenses here.
We didn't get all the boosters. I think I'm going to sit this one out.
It's actually a genius move to invite celebrities that you know won't be able to afford the ticket onto your rocket ship. And then once they only get like $10 million of the $30 million price tag, you keep the $10 million.
Yeah, that's smart. You couldn't make it up.
Yeah. So shout out Bezos for just overcompensating.
Dude, we all, like, you could have paid, here's the bottom line. Bezos could have paid everyone in America like $300 just to say he's got a big dick.
Yeah. We all would have done it.
Yeah, totally, Jeff. So you really didn't have to do this, okay? Are we all forgetting who he is? Is that going to work, do you think? Yeah.
I didn't know he had a brother, too, who's kind of trying to look like him. That is the ultimate brother's bachelor party, though.
Like, hey, bro, let's go to space real quick. Let's get up to space.
By the way, we're bringing an 18-year-old and an 80-year-old woman with us. Yeah, what was that? At least bring a dog.
So she was supposed to be one of the first astronauts, but women weren't allowed in the space program way back in the day. Oh, he's using his shield? And so he's like, look at me.
I'm good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, Jake. Hot seat is Skyline Chili.
Yeah. So Mets broadcaster Gary Cohen came back from a break.
They were showing some B-roll.
They were playing the Reds
and he just absolutely destroyed them.
And I know it's a very controversial topic
on this show.
Yeah, well, he didn't have
the oyster cracker
with a drop of hot sauce on it.
Yeah.
If he does that,
then the entire meal changes.
Yeah.
So I know you guys are torn
on who likes it and who doesn't.
No, I...
No, no, no, no.
I've been very firm. 50 had a weird little phase.
No, no had a weird little phase He couldn't understand if it was a bit or not Honestly, no bits I enjoy from time to time Some of the Skyline Chili My dad used to make it for me when I was a kid I had no idea what it was He used to put cinnamon and chocolate syrup in the sauce Disgusting, I it sounds gross. Then he put it on a bed of ramen noodles.
I grew up thinking that's what chili tasted like
until I was like 10.
And my friend came over to my house.
My dad made chili for us.
My friend was like, what the fuck is this?
And he wouldn't eat it.
I was like, it's chili, bro.
You don't even do chili.
Since then, I've learned that there are other
better types of chili.
A lot better.
A lot better types.
But still, if you're hammered,
then a gallon of chili is not good.
But that's every food.
If you have to preface any food with,
it's a great drunk food.
Thank you. chili a lot better a lot better types but still if you're hammered then skyline chili i mean that's but that's every food like if you have to preface any food with it's a great drunk food i mean you could just flip it and say it's terrible when you're sober or like i ate so much of it before i knew what food was that it's just ingrained in my brain yeah that's the only reason that it's still it's nostalgic for me yeah it's like watch when you watch space jam and bugs bunny came on the're like, well, he's not the funniest comedian anymore in the world, but I still like seeing him.
Every kid right now who's at a college campus or going to a college campus has a place that I guarantee you they tell their friends, this place is awesome. We get it after we come home from the bars at 3 a.m.
Guess what? It's probably not awesome. What's that place at Quinnipiac? It's got like a pizza sandwich that they fill with ranch yeah the guy the kid kid was like you guys got to try this sandwich it's got it's a it's a philly cheese steak with buffalo wings in it yeah it's like it's great when we eat it drunk it's like i'm sure it is everything's great when you i'll fucking eat papa john's when i'm drunk actually i tell you what every every college town america in America, I'm convinced, has their local pizza place.
And that one particular pizza place, you swear, is the best pizza. And then once you go visit a friend at their college town, they give you their special pizza town.
You're like, wait, this isn't as good as mine. There's like a little rivalry going.
Although Ian's was very good. Okay.
And Cool Thrones' John Cena. This happened right after we went off the air on Sunday night, but he made his return.
Yep.
And I know he's a friend of the program, recurring guests.
It was electric.
Belly button guy.
Yep.
Maybe.
Yeah.
He'll fuck my belly button.
Yeah.
Straight up.
So shout out John Cena.
Yeah, that was an electric moment.
Billy, Hot Seat Cool Throne.
I got two hot seats. First one is the Ugandan weightlifter who didn't really, he left the team, went into Japan to sort of, he's been caught and sent back to Uganda.
Okay. So they found him.
Kony, still on the loose? No, Kony's dead. Kony's dead.
We killed him. Right.
And second hot seat is Hasbullah versus Abdu, the celebrity boxing match that was very viral on TikTok. It's off.
It's off.
Why?
Because Hezbollah wanted more money.
Good for him.
Good for him.
You know what?
We all stand like players and player movement and players fuck management.
Hezbollah, you count on that.
If you're a free agent and you want more money, go get it.
He knows his value.
Yeah. Because I think he was asking for $200,000.
They were only offering $90,000. Don't lowball Hezbollah.
No. Fuck that.
Hasbullah? Hasbullah. Hasbullah? No.
You don't fuck with Hasbullah's pockets. He's electric.
Cool throne. Alabama quarterbacks, once again, according to Nick Saban, Bryce Young, Coach Saban.
Coach Saban.
Jesus Christ, buddy.
Sorry.
Might have already made about close to seven figures in endorsements.
That was a very smart thing that Coach Saban did there.
Where he's like, yeah, the quarterback that hasn't played yet is a millionaire.
True. This is how –
Wonder where you want to go to college.
This is how Coach Saban wins the next round.
Right.
He's in like five steps ahead of most other people. He's like, I'm having a real hard time out here keeping my players focused on football because they're all just drowning in mud.
They've got to run to the bank every day. I don't know if anyone fact-checked this or followed up on it, but everyone ran with it and everyone just did incredible promo for Alabama.
Not that they needed it, but that was... I also love the coaches back, like SEC media day.
I saw Lane Kiffin said he lost 30 pounds because he just stopped eating. He's not going to eat again until he played defense, so he's going to die.
He's going to be like Gandhi. Did Gandhi die not eating? He did a hunger strike.
He got close. I think he got yapped.
Okay, yeah. He got close to dying not eating.
So that's going to be linked. Someone let the chopper sing on him.
Yeah, and then Josh Heupel said he said he asked for lockers when he was four years old for Christmas. Yeah, as one does.
As one always does. And we call that a cubbyhole.
Yeah, I don't know what he... Imagine being like, hey, I need a fucking locker.
I mean, that's kind of cool.
Because I'm sure when I was four years old, I wanted like...
I knew all the specific terms for construction equipment.
Yeah.
So I probably asked for something.
I don't even know what it is right now.
Right.
But when you're a kid and you're four years old, you get fixated on stuff.
Yes.
And you're in the cupboard.
I was wanting one of those.
Yeah.
That's a locker.
The magic. Yeah.
The magic cabinet. That's's true um all right should we get to our interview we have colin morikawa awesome interview before we do that pft yeah before colin morikawa i want to talk to you guys about our great great friends over at manscape the olympics euros baseball major championships and concerts are all in this summer you know what that that means.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He was on a couple weeks ago, but since that time, he's won a little thing called the Open Championship.
It is Colin Morikawa. Colin, it's great to see you.
Great tournament. Wait, what do they call you after? The player of the year or something? They give you a title.
Champion golfer of the year. That's badass.
Thank you guys. Thank you for having me.
I'm glad you got the open right. I said British Open in my little first speech, but it's the open, I guess.
Yeah, so it was an incredible, incredible weekend. You're one of the youngest guys to win two majors.
You won two majors in the course of eight months. I think Tiger Woods is the only one who's done that at this age.
The question, though, that I have that's very important. I saw a picture.
You had to carry your own trophy through security and everything at the airport? Yeah. That seems wrong.
Why why why do you want someone else to carry your trophy i thought they send it to you or you take a private jet you just got on like a southwest flight out of england with your with the claret junk let's clear this up because everyone like whatever commercial i don't mind flying commercial there's nothing wrong with it okay i flew commercial from london to to Atlanta, and then I took a private flight from Atlanta to Vegas. So everyone needs to calm down about this flying commercial.
There's nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with it, but that means that you put in the overhead the Claret Jug? Yes, it fit perfectly.
Perfectly on an international flight. Locked up, no dings, no damages.
But wait, that also meant that you're only allowed to have one personal item. So you had, what, like a backpack and then the Claret Jug? I had three.
Somehow I just snuck my way on. Okay.
I think they understood. The rules don't apply.
Yeah. That is pretty awesome, though, that if you're sitting on that flight, you're like, yeah, one of the most famous trophies in sports, one of the most famous, the most famous trophy in probably golf, is just sitting in the stowaway on seat like 5D.
Well, I thought about it because I did ask someone at the RNA, and they said, if they ask you what it is, just tell them what it is, and they're going to let you. Right.
That's true. But they didn't even question did they never even questioned it did they have any uh concerns about letting you handle a trophy given your past history of breaking other major championship trophies to be honest no because there is no lid there there's no lid the first i the first thing i did ask was is there a lid um because i wasn't going to be oh for two uh dropping a lid um but yeah there's i mean it's so much smaller than Wanamaker.
So it's a lot more, you can bring it a lot of places. Yeah, it's interesting because we talked to you just before you went overseas.
And you had never played Lynx golf before. And I guess you played the Scottish Open before you played in the Open Championship.
Is there anything that you actually learned during that week and any adjustments that you made?
I changed so much.
I changed weights in my putter.
I changed three of my irons.
And my irons is what my game's about, right?
Hitting my seven iron, eight iron, nine iron.
Changing the irons that I've actually used in the past.
I used last fall, and I was playing really poorly.
But they're just better through the turf.
I mean, these are things that you just –
no one would really figure out unless you're really specific
Thank you. in the past I used last fall and I was playing really poorly but they're just better through the turf I mean these are things that you just no one would really figure out unless you know you're really specific on the details that you're trying to learn about I noticed that you didn't say anything about your driver do you do you hate your driver no I love my driver I don't know about you guys I love my driver it's crazy I saw that you gave that quote in an interview and it, and it was just before Brooks did hit his interview and his quote about his driver went viral, even though yours came out first.
Were you, were you a little, uh, jealous of the fact that Brooks's quote got so much play and yours did? No, I don't, I do not need to get in the middle of these two. Um, but here's the thing.
I Brooks is the one that brought it up. I didn't bring this up.
Like a media person is they're trying to instigate this feel even more they asked me do you love your clubs like how are you do you like your driver and so i have to answer right so yeah it's also i it was the perfect storm too because it's the british press which i think they are a little bit more i don't want to say pushy but they they get right to it and they'll they they'll they'll stir the pot if they see a pot sitting sitting there ready to be stirred exactly they're they want to they want to fuel the fire yeah i think they'd love to see it yeah um all right so i've always wondered this 18th on sunday you're up two strokes when you actually you stepped out of the t-box what was that about we need to talk about this yeah what happened some some spectator at some point in the day snuck a little like old school microphone like a recording threw it underneath like one one of the marshals around there and started playing these like farting noises right as i was about to swing so i don't think people like really understood why i stepped away or like i don't think the the announcers really knew what was going on so we thought it was a fan like making fun of or like playing something on their phone marshall went looked around the grass because it's really long and then they found it and yeah how crazy is that yeah that's incredible so yeah i because i when i was watching i was like wait what what just happened because you're right like from the tv broadcast i thought you were maybe just trying to compose yourself in a big moment but the fact that someone was trying to fart in your backswing you should have you should have manned up and swung no no i i thought about it because normally normally these noises like i don't care um it really you know it doesn't bother me i don't care if people talk uh but you know i i thought about i was like this is not how I want to hit my last two shots you know let's let's try and win this thing not have fun so you step out and then you get back in and I've always thought what goes through a golfer's head when they're Sunday major up last hole are they thinking to themselves wow it would take a lot to really fuck this up? Or like, man, I got this, but it would really suck if I screwed this shot up. Like, what's going through your head? Do you say to yourself, like, I got this, just play conservative, like hit it straight down the middle, doesn't really matter, you got two-stroke lead? Or are you just not even thinking about that type of stuff? No, I mean, you have to just think about you hit the best shot possible right it's as simple as that what do you need to do the best to make four shots is all i needed to get in the hole i needed i could add five i'd rather make par so how are we going to make four shots the best shots i'm going to hit all day and get out win this tournament so uh you know your mind can wander there's lot of time to wander, especially with nine holes left.
But I just had to keep reminding myself about what does a good shot look like? What do I need to do here? How do I do this? And just try to make my mind think about golf or something else rather than what if, right? What if I do that? What if he does that? You can't let your mind go there there i want to go back real quick to the fart machine thing so when you heard the when you heard the sound of the fart did you stop and did you tell uh either the marshal or your caddy were you like hey there's a fart machine did you immediately recognize that it was farts or were you just like no we yeah we all knew that we uh louie is caddy my caddy we all knew it was a fart machine we all knew it was like like a farting noise. But we seriously thought it was from the spectators.
We thought someone was playing it on their phone. And Marshall, we're all looking.
We're looking around, and Marshall digs in the grass and pulls this little recorder out. And I mean, just what are the odds of that happening? Did you get to keep the fart machine? No.
I bet you we could sell that for a nice little price yeah now we are uh brooks guys a1 you know we're he's our guy no matter what uh you know every now and then when max makes the play we'll root for him yeah do you think though that your your trophy is a little cheap in because it's kind of like what have you done for me lately brooks played the best on sunday he had he posted the best score he just ran out of time do you feel like it's a little bit of a cheap trophy because of that you wouldn't you know a real man would have been like brooks let's go 18 mano y mano because you beat me today yeah that's an awful that's an awful question That is a simple, awful question.
I mean, it's like you put a deadline.
We have four days to play a golf tournament. Come on.
Sounds like you're scared. Sounds like you're scared.
It kind of sounds like you don't really love golf. Yeah.
You would have leapt at the opportunity to play at that wonderful golf course. Yeah.
One more round. Let's do it, boys.
All right. Well, okay.
Well, let's go. Yeah, no.
Merckx has won four majors, okay? I don't think he wants to go back and challenge the person that was right next to him another three rounds. He would, though.
He would. Here's what we're going to do.
The next tournament that you guys play in together, the first round, we're going to count that as your open score, your final round, and we'll see who the real winner is. Yeah, well, yeah.
Okay. All right.
I see how this relationship is turned. I see how this relationship – you guys bring me in, ease me up, and now that we're not close mano-a-mano here, you guys are firing all your shots off.
No, listen. We have to just show love to our guy, Brooks, but you're quickly becoming part of our stable.
We do enjoy having you on the uh can we talk about the course real quick because we actually Brooks is our favorite golfer but really our favorite golfer is the course we always root for the course at what point in the week were you like this course can be had like this course isn't playing as tough as it you know maybe past British Opens have been you, it all comes down to weather. It was fairly, they got a lot of rain a few weeks before.
It was soft. The greens were slow.
You could attack pins and it never got windy. And, you know, both draws, I think the draw I had was a little tougher, especially the first day.
We had it really windy that afternoon. But overall, I mean, you look at the last two days,
it was just not windy.
Saturday had some of the toughest pin locations I've ever seen in a golf tournament, period. And then Sunday was just perfect.
I mean, it's as perfect as it's going to get. So you're going to see low scores, and you had to make birdies.
Do you think that courses were tougher back in the 90s, kind of like talked about nba um no i think they know how to make it tougher now because obviously courses were tougher or courses were shorter back then um but now they grow out rough probably longer than they had it before greens might have not been as undulated you know people are learning how to make golf course tough. It's not about designing it long.
It's just making them firm, fast, having lucky weather, and building the rough up. It's as simple as that.
Are we going to have to figure out a way to column-proof some of these courses? If you keep winning major championships, what would that look like? I don't know. You tell me.
I'm not going to tell you how to design a golf course. Are you bad for golf? You don't like your driver, so maybe, I don't know.
I don't like it. I love my driver.
That's correct. I don't like it.
I love it. 700 foot par threes.
700 yards. Got to figure that out.
700 yards. 700 foot would not be that tough.
Yeah, that's like 200. It's 230.
With the yardage books that you get over there, do they tell you the distance in meters or is it still in yards? No, they have a yardage book. They have one in yards, one in meters.
All the sprinkler heads are marked meters and yards. We don't have to do math.
Is that the same way in the United States? When you get the yardage book, it says it in meters uh what wait what so if you're playing in at augusta will it tell you yards oh no no no no when you're playing in the u.s it's it's always it's always yards and then guys that do meters they have to learn they have to calculate everything caddies will go through it and change up the entire book wow that sounds almost like an to American golfers. Yeah.
But they should have thought about that before we kicked their ass in 1776. Facts.
Speaking of America, you're about to go to the Olympics for our country. Are you? What's the format? So it's, I know we talked about it briefly when you were here, but is it, it's a solo.
And then what is the actual format? How many days do you guys play? Four days. It's like a regular tournament.
Thursday through Sunday next week, nothing. There's no team aspect of it other than we're representing our country.
We're representing the U.S. There's no other team aspect.
It's just not fair because some countries have one and then the U.S. has four.
So how do you compare that?
Right.
So are you excited?
I know there's obviously some COVID stuff going on,
but this is kind of a cool moment to be an Olympian.
Yeah, exactly.
You hit it spot on.
Like, yeah, I'm an Olympian for life.
And with all the restrictions, it's going to be tough. It's going to suck somewhat a little bit here to not see other athletes and watch them, you know, excel at what they do best.
But I'm going to be an Olympian. You know, I'm always going to have that for the rest of my life.
I mean, it happens every four years. And think about it.
Two years ago, I was an amateur. Now I'm here, two major championships, and I'm headed to the Olympics.
Yeah, I have a friend that I went to Cal with who is on the U.S. water polo team for the Olympics this year.
and I'm headed to the Olympics. It's, yeah, I have a friend that I went to Cal with
who is on the U.S. water polo team for the Olympics this year.
And I told him, like, realistically, when we graduated that day,
like, the Olympics was probably not a realistic thought.
Like, I told him I would have had to do something very special to get there.
And we did.
Now you got to get the tattoo.
You got to get the rings.
No, I don't.
Every Olympian has them. Nope, we talked about it.
If I win, I'll think about it, and we'll go on from there. All right.
Have you thought about where you're going to get the rings when you win? No. You have recommendations? I think right across your stomach.
I was going to say tramp stamp would be good. Lower back, that always plays.
Interesting. Good time.
Face tattoo? Yeah. You guys can take questions and recommendations for where that could be.
Okay. That's a very if, maybe type thing.
We'll crowdsource it for you. Whatever our listeners decide, that's where you get the tattoo.
That's where I may get the tattoo. Okay.
If I win gold. Yes.
There's a lot of stipulations to this. I forget.
Did we bully you into giving us a percentage of your winnings?
I think so.
Absolutely.
No, no.
I think you were charging me $2 million.
So I'd be left with $70,000 of my paycheck before taxes and everything.
Oh, poor Colin.
For you to run my social media or for you to push my name out there for $2 million.
Yeah.
I don't
think we ever shook on it well look what happened i mean i feel like the proof is in the pudding since then yeah we we are we doubled your major championships we didn't do anything are we part of your team though that's all i care about when you say i want to thank my team and actually i saw your speech it was great asking people to you know look at each other and say we don't do that enough, which I appreciate you saying
thank you to us.
But are we part can we can we loosely be part of your team you're not part of our team yet but you were part of yours i think we're you know we're halfway across the bridge of meaning and shaking hands i mean okay you guys might be a couple steps i might be you know half a step maybe farther ahead but you know i think we have some work to do really what we're waiting on is for uh for barn rat to turn down our invitation to be to complete our stable exactly and what exactly i mean oh wow that's gonna be yeah yeah because who do you guys have you guys have you guys have brooks, right? Yeah. Actually, I want to talk about that real quick.
So what was more remarkable, you winning two titles, two majors in eight months, or Max making the cut? Because actually he was kind of the champion of the weekend when you really – like, you know, if you really say, like, who overachieved, he did. Why? Max is a great player.
He's your own guy and you guys are talking shit about him. I know.
We do it. That's the relationship we have.
It's kind of like that. No, we do love him.
I'm actually curious about your clubs because I saw a picture of your clubs. I forget what interview you did, but you had a really tightly zoomed in uh shot of your club heads and you have cereal stamped across your irons like different against against my wedges yeah i've got cereal on my wedges how do you how did you decide what wedges get what types of cereal uh well i just have four cereals on one wedge and then like other wedges sometimes i do other types of food i've done steak i've done everything i mean I just love food So I put four of my favorite cereals on one wedge.
And then like other wedges, sometimes I do other types of food. I've done steak.
I've done everything. I mean, I just love food.
So I put four of my favorite cereals on there. So what's on your Mount Rushmore of cereals? Frosted Flakes.
Okay. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
I have Cocoa Puffs. Ooh.
And Captain Crunch. No Honey Nut Cheerios.
Ooh. You know, I thought about it, but I was like, you know, it's just, it's almost too healthy.
Yeah. Right? Like, it's almost, it's a great snack, but, you know, Honey Nut Cheerios are almost too healthy.
So is that what you have for breakfast every day? You a cereal guy? I'm a huge cereal guy. A lot of Frost and Flakes.
A lot of, yeah.
Not every day, but like.
Well, yeah, you're a professional athlete.
Hey, what is the, I'm always the golfer exemptions that happen when you win something.
Are you now set for life?
Like, do you get to play in the British Open for life now?
I don't know.
I think it is a lifetime exemption.
I'm not positive on that. Yeah, I'm sure we can find someone to look that up.
But yeah, we're in it for a good handful of years at least. Yeah, my dream golf career would be to win one major and then be terrible and then just show up to that major every single year and be like, guess what? I got an invite.
There's nothing you guys can do about it. Hey, I mean, you guys are already professionals.
We already took that leap of faith over that bridge. So you guys, we're almost there.
That's the John Daly. Wait, time out.
Maybe Brooks can help you get a sponsor's exemption. Oh, that's true.
Leverage your man Brooks and Max to maybe get you guys a spot so how does how does that work like if it's the waste management open then the sewage company would be like hey we want these guys to be the shittiest golfers possible they get in for free oh i mean every tournament has so many sponsor exemptions and they can give it to whoever they want you guys would get so mad at us for pace of play oh god we we would be, everyone would be so miserable. And I feel so sorry for whoever has to tee it up next to you guys.
They might send you guys out as a single. Well, how does that work in, in the, um, in the last pairing on Sunday? Is it a big advantage to be in that last group as opposed to being in the second to last? Yeah.
I think being in the last group is the best. Um, you want to be there because that means you're very close to the lead if not leading um you know what the leader is doing in my position i knew what louis was doing um and i could see what spieth was doing he was ahead of me i always had holes ahead of me to you know make birdies make make more shots up and um but yeah being the final group i think is always a place you want to be did you and louis you guys you guys ever talk at all in that last round? Because that's so tense.
And he had a tough Sunday. So there's not much.
Yeah. I would imagine if you said, hey, nice shout out.
If I were Louis, I'd be like, fuck you, man. I know you're going to win.
What the hell? What was the thing you said to say to people? Oh, yeah. No, you're going to love that.
You're going to love that, right? Yeah. I did not say any of that.
I did not say any of that. You've got to gonna love that you're gonna love that yeah yeah i did not say any of that i did not say any of that you gotta throw in a you're gonna love that i did not say that yet but you know you get the right pairing i'm sure you can get brooks to say it all right colin last question it's the roback question use code pft on roback.com for 20 off your first purchase that is r-h-o-B-A-C-K.com, code PFT.
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This has been awesome.
The only other thing I had was when you took your hat off, you were fixing your hair a lot.
So your hair looks good.
You have a little more confidence in your hair.
Yeah.
Oh, look at this. Oh, there it is.
You got gotta eat i'm thirsty no you can keep talking i'm thirsty what are what was the first we are trophy so you're not flexing on what was the first thing that you drank out of that thing what's up what was the first thing you drank out of it that's good that's nice and cold keeps it cold by the way yeah we had a bunch of beer it holds about a pint and a half i think what the guy at the bar told us um we were having drinks with max max was there uh but it was my caddy's birthday so it's like the best thing in the world oh that is the best thing in the world did you give him an extra do you give extra for majors we don't need to talk about that what do you mean he told us last time that he didn't yeah he told us last time 10 is fair wow so like when you get when you uh they auto grat you at a restaurant it's like 18 is included you're like well they already included so so so it's there not even you do you at least bump them up to first class on the way home yeah no i'm flying the guy yes the guy. Yes, he's flying with me.
He lives in Vegas, too. Like, we're flying together.
Don't worry about any of that. I mean, it was his birthday.
International travels, it's getting taken care of. Where was Max? Was he in the back row? Win the tournament on his birthday? Yeah.
Max? Yeah, was he in the back row by the bathroom? Max was, I wouldn't say hammered. His caddy was hammered.
Yeah, Joe was loose. Max finished fairly earlier than I did.
But we had a great time that night. Yeah.
My last question was just, have you ever been to Topgolf? I have. Isn't that awesome? You can drink and then you play golf too.
You can drink anywhere. Yeah, but then you have a couch that you can sit down.
I'm just thinking that if you went to Topgolf, you could do the thing where you hustle people. They'll probably recognize you now.
But I don't know. Maybe there's some casual Topgolf places that you can just roll up to with a 7-iron and nothing else.
If you went up there and you – how far do you hit your 7-iron? I don't think I can get out of that. I hit a 185.
I don't think I can sneak around out of Topgolf and pass as a no-name golfer.
If I took you to Topgolf right now and they had a target that was 185 yards out
and I gave you 100 balls, how many do you think you hit into the target?
Well, there's like so many rings.
What target are you talking about?
The one that's like 185 yards out.
Right, but you know how there's rings?
It's a massive target. The middle ring.
The middle one? I don't know. I haven't been there in a while.
The bullseye is like this big. Yeah, we know.
I don't know. Maybe one? One out of 100? Maybe.
That's weird because I read somewhere that you hit your six iron an average of 13 feet away from the pin. Yeah, the bullseye is about three inches.
Okay, we'll give you the one past the bullseye, the second one. Second one.
That's like five feet. But you just had some wings, so your hands are a little greasy.
Right, and we've had a few drinks, so we're feeling it. Yep.
I don't know, 25? That's okay. I could maybe beat you on that.
I'd say you're decent at golf. You sound like a decent golfer.
Okay, yeah. I sound like an average professional golfer.
You guys sound like the real deal. Well, we would have played Brooks an extra round on Monday.
Would you? Yes, we would have. If I were in your shoes, I would have been like brooks was so good on sunday i owe it to golf to play him for an extra round for this claret joke okay i'll remember that next i'll remember that next next time we uh we hop on another call when brooks are out you know i win and we'll talk about where that has to go no it's your next tournament is the.
It's the first round of the next tournament. That's really for the true champion golfer of the year award.
Oh, man. Well, congrats, though, man.
It's awesome. It was actually – I really did – I thought your speech was great.
And we appreciate you coming on and good luck in the Olympics. And we'll talk to you again when you win another major.
You're going to win all the majors. You're going to win them all.
I hope so. That would be really cool.
If you win all four majors next year, you have to give us something. You have to give us something.
Shopping spree? Yeah, shopping spree. $50,000 shopping spree if you win all four majors.
All four next year. Yes.
Every single one in 2022. Yes.
In Vegas. Yes.
If I win every single one in 2022 yes in vegas yes if i win every single one yeah next year yeah not not a grand slam not two correct i win every single one yeah what about the collins slam if he wins the first two next year if you win the first three next year so it's the collins so if you win four in a row you have to win the first three next year that's four okay okay yeah that would be four in a row no tiger did that tiger did that's the tiger slam yep so if you do a tiger slam we come out to vegas we go on a 50 000 shopping spree with the boys huh and then you guys for free of charge become my personal media managers yeah yeah yeah absolutely yes no problem right yep okay all right all right deal okay i like this we'll shake on it we're making deals with everyone we have one with christian yelich if he hits 20 home runs in the second half he's got to take us on a shopping spree so yeah we're just i mean it's a lot of home run he sucks this year though so yeah it's a little different 20 home runs is you know i mean three majors are a lot it's been done yeah it has yeah before the tiger slam has been done the tiger slam has been done once um all right well thank you so much colin good luck in in japan and uh we'll talk to you soon thanks guys appreciate it good to see you man colin morikawa is brought to you by our great over at BetterHelp. Life is full of stressors.
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All right, let's wrap up.
We got guys on chicks,
and then we got some Billy recap.
Hank, you got us some guys on chicks?
I do. All right.
How does a guy decide when it's time to feed the geese? It's feed the geese. What is that? I wasn't sure.
Feed the geese. I assume that's jacking off.
Let's see. Because you go like, yeah, because you like feed geese like this.
Feed the geese. They usually honk.
Yeah. To masturbate.
I don't jack off. It doesn't...
There's no time. It just happens.
It could happen with anything. It could be a stiff breeze.
It could be a memory. It could be something comes on TV.
It's really... I mean, do you guys...
Anyone here? Yeah, it's not if... Yeah, I mean, it's not something I have set in my...
Yeah, right.
It's not...
I don't have...
It's like, ah, well, this could be...
All right, let's do this.
I don't have it planned out in my scheduler or anything.
Boredom?
Boredom is usually a good one.
I think it's usually just to pass the time.
Yeah.
It's like, all right, let's do that.
Or fall asleep.
Now what?
Yeah.
My boyfriend says it's not cheating if he drinks a bunch of novelty drinks, gets wasted, and then takes liquor shots off girls at the bar. Is this cheating? I don't think...
Liquor shots off girls at a bar? That's not cheating, right? It also depends on what type of novelty drinks we're working with here. If we're talking about just like a margarita that has a beer floating in it, I'd say it's still cheating.
But if it's something that you drink out of like a giant bucket, then I think it's not cheating. It's not smart.
It's not smart. I don't think that's qualified as cheating.
It's definitely... She's not going to be happy, nor should she.
If you reversed it, I always say, just reverse it. Guy would be pissed, right? I think the real answer is, if the girl at the bar is hotter than she is, then it's cheating.
If she's not, then you'd be like, I thought she's like a sister to me. And then your girlfriend would be like, I know, I can never lose you.
Like a sister, yeah. Who doesn't take shots on your sister? I don't know.
I don't have a sister. My ex-boyfriend is the biggest Rays fan, and I'm a Sox fan.
We made a bet that if the Sox won 91 games... First of all, who's the biggest Rays fan? This might be fake.
Dickie V. If he is a Rays fan, he's probably the biggest Rays fan.
No, Dickie V. We made a bet that if the Sox won 91 games, he would have to wear my 2018 cheating year World Series gear round.
We broke up and ended on shitty terms, but I think he should be a man of his word and wear the shit if we win 91 games. Is that right? Yeah.
Why not? I think what you have to do is you have to just be like,
hey, I've been thinking about you a lot.
Right when they win 91 games, I've been thinking about you a lot.
Maybe we can give this a try.
On that day.
Wait, no, don't go on the day.
Wait till like 93.
Okay, yeah, wait for a little bit after then.
Or even do the plant the seed at like 89.
Yeah, be like, I've been thinking about you.
Just send them a text.
Or just like hit emphasize on one of your old sex that you have together. She definitely wants to get back with him.
Like that you wouldn't ask that like if you ask this question, that means you kind of want to get back with him and it's not the worst way to get back with a significant other. Be like, you owe me this bet.
Yeah, agreed. Hey guys, not a guy's on chicks, but I need to it to hank ever since big cat talked about the 8k camera how do i see 8k on my 4k tv i so 8k i might have been wrong people some nerds said it's not 8k i don't fucking know dude it's just what we have said is futuristic now 8k it's the stuff that they show on nfl sund a touchdown.
There is a channel, though. Yeah, there is.
There is. It's basically if you go, I think, what did I watch? I might have watched Wimbledon in 8K.
Or no, it was the Euro Finals. Yes, 4K.
Okay, 4K. But if you go to the regular channel, HD, it will pop up and say, do you want to watch this in fucking Super HD? And little hack, that actually is way ahead of the regular channel.
Oh, like in terms of seconds? It's like four or five seconds ahead. Can you get a live betting edge on it? I don't think so.
I tried. Someone will probably explain it better.
But my understanding is it's like they're nicer cameras. But no matter what, because it's on TV and the way they broadcast, they have to broadcast TV.
No one's seeing like 8K or 4K because they're nicer cameras but no matter what because it's on tv and the way they broadcast they have
to broadcast tv no one's seeing like 8k or 4k because they're broadcasting it in 1080p but they're using cameras that are they can shoot 4k but they're not broadcasting 4k so the cameras are ahead of the technology i do know yeah the cameras are like higher quality and they have the ability to shoot 4 or 8K, but because of the way it's broadcasted,
no one's seeing 4 or 8K.
Maybe 4 or 4K. Maybe 4K.
It was actually the All-Star game now that I'm thinking about it. And it was crisper.
Like it was crisper than regular HD. I don't know how much crisper, but I could tell that there was a little bit of a difference.
I don't know if we need to get crisper with anything. I really don't.
Yeah, I'm just more interested in being being ahead of everyone yeah that's a fucking thrill i'm in a good place right now with what sports looks like on television i don't know if my eyes are ready for although i do predict that it's about that time for them to start forcing 3d down our throats again it's like every three years like 3d sports is coming back it always sucks it's never been good yeah but they're gonna try because they they feel like they can make money off it now so that's i i predict in the next like two years they'll start forcing that on us i wish i wish kids knew how fucking crazy it was when we went to hd it was awesome i remember the midges game was the first one that i was like whoa job of chamberlain and the midges you remember cleveland remember watching the news in hd for the first yeah it blows your mind yeah now your mind. Now sometimes I actually like to go back to standard def.
Just like old school.
Throwback.
Well, I don't even notice the difference anymore.
Oh, go back to standard def and you'll notice the difference.
No, I think I watched some stuff on standard def.
You used to be able to switch it back and forth and one was like square and the other
one was like the crispest image you've ever seen.
Uh-uh.
I think it's pretty similar now.
Nope.
No.
Wrong.
You don't even have to mansplain technology to you, but you but you're i kind of want to get a one of the oculus things i uh perfect great call hank i have one and i haven't opened the box so really oh fuck yes i used i used the oculus little sass brought in an oculus one day we used it for uh 20 minutes five minutes in i said holy shit i need this bought it sitting on my desk in the box never opened wait it's not the best advertisement but i mean i know i just i am you know me i'm a very you know knee-jerk guy like oh gotta have it and then when it showed up it was maybe two days later because amazon prime it was like 450 bucks down the, ooh, gotta have it. And then when it showed up, it was maybe two days later because it was Amazon Prime.
It was like $450 down the drain. So you can have it.
What do you do with an Oculus? You plug it into a PlayStation or is it just its own gaming system? It's its own gaming system. Yeah.
But you can view on it too? Yeah, but it's its own gaming system. It's VR.
Yeah, it's awesome. Virtual reality.
Again, it's very cool. If I give you my Oculus and then we play it together, I'm going to want it back.
So don't do that. Just a heads up.
Yeah, I'll never mention it, even if I use it. You have to sign in through that, I think.
I think Facebook owns the company because they own everything. I'm out.
For that reason, I'm out. Yeah.
I'm not giving a penny to that note, Zuckerberg. I mean, I'm sure you still have your Facebook account activated.
And I am active on Instagram. Right.
Which I always forget is also Facebook. Right.
All right, I'm not giving a penny to that no Zuckerberg. I mean, I'm sure you still have your Facebook account activated.
And I am active on Instagram, which I always forget is also Facebook. All right, I'm back in on Oculus.
Damn. What is an appropriate amount of beers for my boyfriend to drink on a beach day? I usually get like a six-pack of seltzers when we go with our friends, and he will always get at least a 24-pack of beer.
He says he needs more because he is bigger. Is that true, or am I dating an alcoholic the way let's just before we hop into this i love that line because i use it all the time when we're out to dinner or like getting ice cream and it's like i'm gonna get three scoops because i'm bigger i mean that's that's a good way to stay bigger i need more power i need more energy to survive my general rule of thumb is you always get more than you need but if you're If you going to be out in the sun, let's say from 11 o'clock until 5 o'clock, 24 is a pretty good number.
Because you're hot out there, if they're cold beers, you're regulating your body temperature. You could actually put yourself in danger if you don't drink enough cold beer.
And there's always like, I've always found there's like a three to four beer error that you need to have where it's like either maybe you hopped in the ocean. Now the beer is warm or dipped.
It's spilled over in the sand. Like you're going to lose a couple.
Yes. Just out of general sloppiness.
Yeah. And so it's like 20 beers.
And you can also take into account like what if a friend shows up and they didn't bring theirs? I have to share some of mine with them. Yeah.
Throw a couple around. There's no faster way to end a beach day than just running out of booze.
Yeah, if you're out of beer, it's like let's might as well pack up and head in and wash our feet off. Is that it? That's it.
Alright, Billy. Oh, wait.
Yeah. What? Okay.
We have a good one? Hi guys, my boyfriend hasn't gone down on me in almost two months. Whenever I ask, he says he's been, really had a ton of anxiety about becoming the next Michael Douglas.
I googled it and could not believe it. How do I handle this moving forward? I think you smear some peanut butter on it.
Any guy would just go right to town. We'll get you hooked up with Glennie Balls.
He'll tell you. Although that would actually be more of a scared straight because he hurt his neck.
Or Munchtown Bob. Yeah, Munchtown Bob.
He will hook it up. Yeah, Iael douglas might have gotten addicted to it so just don't get addicted to it i think michael douglas also saw the best opportunity ever to flex on america and be like yeah you know this cancer that everyone's praying for me that i have it's because i eat too much pussy yep just puss all day all night uh everything in moderation there it is uh what billy's now worried about how much pussy he's been eating.
Who's Michael Douglas? He's an actor? He got throat cancer because he ate too much puss. Yeah, he was married to Catherine Zeta-Jones.
So you can understand why you keep eating that and you're such a hot name. Dude, that fucking scene, what's that movie? Entrapment? Yeah.
Which goes up and under. The lasers?
Yeah. Yeah.
All right, bonks all around. That's okay.
No, you know what? That doesn't count as a bonk because that's just, that's past. It's also cinema.
Those thoughts have already happened. Now I want to go feed the goose just by thinking about it.
Those are art. Little stats on Jeff Bezos' flight.
Jeff Bezos went 350,000 feet in the air. The highest recorded flight by a plane was 367,000 feet, 490.
So he didn't do shit? Yeah, he could have gone there on a plane. Oh my god.
For much cheaper. This is just like what Elon Musk did when he built a tunnel to Grimes' house.
He's like, look what I can do. Jeff Bezos just flies straight up and down.
That's so stupid.
Wait, wait.
What about the guy from Red Bull that jumped out of that balloon?
That was shorter.
That was around 150,000 feet, which is still crazy. Yeah, that's still halfway up to...
If you're going to space, yeah.
I couldn't tell you any of these numbers.
What does Neil deGrasse Tyson have to say about this journey?
Planes have flew higher than that rocket went. Also, just in comparison, Yuri Gargarin...
An accident? Yuri Gargarin, 60 years ago, did 108 minutes... Oh, fuck, I'm still going up.
What the hell? Around the Earth, and that was 60 years ago. Okay.
Yeah, not impressed. We're not impressed.
Oh, here's a good stat from Neil deGrasse Tyson. Relative to a schoolroom globe, the planet Mars would be a mile away.
The moon would be 30 feet away. The International Space Station orbits three-eighths of an inch or a centimeter above the surface.
Bezos this month ascended the thickness of two dimes above the surface. What the fuck? Fraud.
What? That's a joke. I could jump that high.
How many grains of rice? Yeah, you got to do Bezos grains of rice. That's the only way I understand it.
I think it's one grain of billionaire rice. Yeah.
Maybe even less. Our guy David Yowes turns out drinks 10 to 12 cups of coffee a day.
How did you say his name? Yowes. I kind of like that, though.
Yeah, I like that. Yowes.
How do you say it? If he coached for the Dodgers, it would be Yowes. He had 10 to 12 cups of coffee a day.
What a beast. And he's 4-0 as a manager.
He's managed two games, incredible comebacks in the last week. Do you think that he's going to get a job as a manager?
That would be awesome.
Dabo doesn't think there are 12 teams good enough
for an expanded college football playoff.
That was another quote from SED.
He just doesn't want to have the chance of being upset.
He's got his spot locked up forever.
And the higher usership of Oculus Rift users are usually geese
feeders
that's an
animal fact
in itself
yep
wait
have at it
Hank
it plugs into
porn
yeah
VR porn
I'm still out
on it
99
65
8
18
wait
18
69
69
new one
16
you want to
do it again
oh my god
Thank you. Wait, 18's out 69, 69 New one 16 You want to do it again? Wait, what is that? It's not Oh my god It's 69 Oh, 68 No, that's 89 Lines on the bottom 89 Just like we said You want to do one more Because we put 18 out? Yeah, there was a lot of No,, it's alright.
No, I heard you, Jake. I heard you.
66. You went a very like audible...
Oh, sorry. Discounts.
That one was practice. 69.
So 89's not in the record book? No, you can't say that. That one counted 66.
Alright, so we're just doing double. We've done double before.
We've done double before. This is like 12 the first day.
All right. Double.
99. 18.
Discounts regularly. 89 counted regularly.
Eight. Then has six.
I have 66. 95.
What'd you say? Have you ever gotten it? Not close. Well, I've gotten close, but no.
Google Belgian blue cattle. but no google belgian blue cattle oh yeah they're awesome also about the davo thing real quick yeah you know he said that he would be in favor of the epl model where it's relegation i like and no tournament so again not really hurting him not a bad idea though yeah davo loveabo.
Love you guys. Oh yeah.
Pardon my sake.
We'll be taking over for the nine,
nine and also the 2000.
Drink pain.
Drink pain.
Drink pain.
That's grit.
Drink pain.
Get lit.
Drink pain.
That's my shit.
Drink pain. That's grit.
Sipping off. It's Some lovely white.
Wash it down. Stomach's tight.
Hand me a straw. I can't feel it like.
Chugging prime. Life is right.
I eat this as a grip. I eat for breakfast.
I'm on your head. Weigh you down like I'm a necklace.
Give you CTCs and you next time. Thank you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Big cat with the juicy tank.
I'm going hard in the motherfucking paint. I'm a dirty ball.
Ain't no sign. Huff the fumes until I faint.
Got a pine finish When I stay my deck, watch it drip right down my neck. Paint.
Look at paint in my mustache. Paint all in my butt crack.
Paint all in my nuts. That's great.
That's my shit. That's great.
Down in the bayou. Hold that title.
Down in the bayou. Hold that title.
Down in the bayou, hold that taro. Down in the bayou, hold that taro.
Down in the bayou, hold that taro.
Down in the bayou, hold that taro.
Drink time, yeah.
Drink time, yeah. Drink.
That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,it. The niddiest of the gritty was that type.
He never gave up.
He had the eye of the one.
Tiger Jeff Van Gundy.
Celtics by fire.