NBA W/ Kirk Goldsberry, Our Lawyer Mr Portnoy And Fyre Fest Of The Week

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a two for Friday. One of our favorite old-time recurring guests is back, Mr.
Portnoy.

Speaker 1 Great talk with him. We're going to get him back in the mix.
We also have some NBA talk with

Speaker 1 the very smart Kirk Goldsbury. A little bonus Grateful Dead talk as well.
We're going to recap some of the games we've watched.

Speaker 1 We are going to talk a quick bit about college football going to 12 teams. And then we will do Fire Fest of the Week and send you on your way for a great sports weekend.

Speaker 3 When Cool Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 4 They're participating in McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Our water dogs are playing. They're going to win, and if they don't, whatever.

Speaker 4 Do we have a hashtag for the water dogs?

Speaker 1 Hashtag water dogs.

Speaker 5 Last year it was hashtag every game is a revenge game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what about Hank? What were we saying? Hashtag on dogs?

Speaker 1 On dogs. Hashtag all dogs go to heaven except water dogs because they stick.

Speaker 1 Hell dogs. That's a long hashtag.
All right.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of some work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a lot of washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all of the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Elay Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elay Trick Avenue. It's part of my take presented by Far School Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the PLL Premier Lacrosse League all weekend long. You can watch our team, the Water Dogs, most likely lose to the chrome on Sunday at 1 p.m.

Speaker 1 Eastern, NBC Sports Network. Check it out.
We'll be watching Premier Lacrosse all weekend and all summer long. Today is Friday, June 11th, and Bruce Brown,

Speaker 1 he tried to take his moment. I love this guy.

Speaker 4 Big Cat, it's Friday. Fry Yay.
People are going to get it. You're going to get a bad thing.

Speaker 1 You know what I was like?

Speaker 1 You know why I didn't say it? Because I was thinking about how bad...

Speaker 1 the Water Dogs are going to play this weekend. Yeah, it's a really FinX.
It's a bummer.

Speaker 4 That's your Fire Fest is we own the worst team in the history of sports.

Speaker 1 I want to give credit to myself, real quick, a little self-credit.

Speaker 1 Jake's

Speaker 1 putting the stuff out there. Self-credit: I saw the Water Dogs officially tweet being getting better every day, and it was a picture of all them in a huddle at practice.

Speaker 1 And I almost replied, doubt it, but I didn't. Okay, that's good.

Speaker 4 I heard some juicy PLL news, actually. You know, the guy that got his finger bitten off? Yeah.
The guy that got circumcised on his knuckle. Turns out his dad started the fight, allegedly,

Speaker 1 in the lobby.

Speaker 4 A lacrosse dad started a fight because the player was talking shit about his son, and then it escalated. The guy fish hooked him, and that's how the finger got bitten off.

Speaker 4 So in my book, if you fish hook, if your finger is in another man's mouth, it's chomp on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the fish hook is a great move. If you can really get someone with a fish hook, it's very hard to get out.

Speaker 4 I mean, in UFC, when they had no rules back in the day, when they'd just make people fight all weekend long, the only rules were like, no fish hooks. That's it.

Speaker 1 We should make a fish hook bet. Jake, if I fish hooked you, what would you do?

Speaker 5 Probably scream because it hurts.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 He's honest.

Speaker 4 Hey, Jake, overline.

Speaker 1 You'd go for my balls easily. Like a badge.
Right away. Uh-huh.
Just grab on us. All right, let's talk some basketball.

Speaker 4 So Bruce Brown game.

Speaker 1 Bruce Brown. I love this guy.

Speaker 4 Well, he played well tonight.

Speaker 1 No, he actually, so there's a lot of Bruce Brown slander, which is probably

Speaker 1 okay to have for the final shot where, actually the final few minutes where he was shooting floaters. He said, fuck it.
I'm going to take this game, Kyrie KD.

Speaker 1 You guys never made a big shot in your life. It's Bruce Brown time.

Speaker 1 But that does kind of overshadow the fact that he did bring the Nets back in the second quarter when they were getting blown out by the Bucks.

Speaker 1 And in all-time throwback, it felt like it was, remember when the Pistons played the Spurs in the NBA Finals? It felt like that game. Where just bricks everywhere.
Old school basketball.

Speaker 1 Real ugly shit.

Speaker 4 It is nice to see a final score where teams are in the 80s.

Speaker 4 Just like looking at it, not to watch watch the game, not by any stretch, but to just look at the box score and be like, yeah, it's something new.

Speaker 4 Like we're used to seeing 110 versus, you know, 116 for every single game. Yes.
This is a nice little throwback.

Speaker 4 I don't hate that. And Bruce Brown, yeah, at the end, a little rush of blood to the head.
But I think we should be fair.

Speaker 4 Joe Harris, this could also be called the Joe Harris game. Because I think he went one for 10, 1 for 11.
He's our guy. He's our guy.
Went one for 7 from three points.

Speaker 4 And I think in the interest of consistency, because if James Harden had had this type of game, the one that Joe Harris had, we'd all be asking

Speaker 4 what kind of drugs was James Harden on. So, to be fair, we should ask,

Speaker 4 no, no, I think we should, since Joe Harris had this game, we should wonder what kind of drugs was James Harden on tonight. Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, that shirt. The shirt.
The shirt was a, I'm going out after this game shirt.

Speaker 4 Oh, it looked like the shirt that the worst kid in your class wore for Picture Death.

Speaker 1 He's going to cruise in Chubbies in the Wisconsin Dells after this game.

Speaker 4 It looked like what Bubba sees when he looks at a Magic Eye poster.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes, it actually was.
That shirt was fire for you, Bubba. By the way, I just looked it up in that series.

Speaker 1 It went seven, the Pistons versus the Spurs. For all the young AWLs out there who don't remember basketball back in the day, 2005, so not even that far back in the day.

Speaker 1 Four out, or sorry, five out of the seven games, the losing team didn't crack 80. Game seven was 8174 Spurs over the Pistons.
Game one was 84.69 Spurs over the Pistons.

Speaker 4 And you know what? I still remember that series because it was kind of fun to watch. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Mostly because you had Rasheed Wallace and Ben Wallace.

Speaker 1 The highest scoring game was 96.95. There was also a fun fact I saw online that the over-under missed by 65.5 points tonight.
That's the most.

Speaker 1 They couldn't find something.

Speaker 4 You took the over?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, the second half over looked good in my mind.

Speaker 1 They were

Speaker 1 tracking all the way back to 2005.

Speaker 1 There hadn't been anything that was even close to that. The biggest was 60 points that it missed.
This one missed by 65.5. It was an awful game to watch, but still exciting.
And guess what?

Speaker 1 The Bucs stole a game. It's officially kind of feels like a series.

Speaker 1 I don't...

Speaker 4 Well, they stole a quarter tonight. They stole the first quarter.
The first quarter, the Nets ended up with 11 points, I think. And it's tough to come back from that.

Speaker 4 Even at that point, I thought that the Bucs were going to end up losing by 10. But

Speaker 4 if you have 11 in the first quarter, that's a pretty big hole that you have to dig yourself out of.

Speaker 1 So if you're a Bucs fan, I guess the one thing you could say to yourself is it is 1-1, and you have shot in the first three games 20%,

Speaker 1 29%, and 19% from 3. That's crazy, okay, for a team that shot 39% in the season.
So you have to hope that it gets a little bit better. If you're a Nets fan, shout out the couple out there.

Speaker 1 You have to be like, well, we'll be fine because we have the best players. And also, if you listen to our interview with Kirk Goldsbury coming up,

Speaker 1 he says, unfortunately, that Joe Harris is the best catch and shoot guy in the NBA. I think he goes

Speaker 1 to kill everyone.

Speaker 4 Chris Middleton sucks. I think he's a good person.

Speaker 1 I said Chris Middleton might suck sometimes. He had a good game.

Speaker 4 I think Kirk was saying that Chris Middleton is a bad number two. Like, not even a number two.
Yeah. Johnny's is a 1A.

Speaker 1 But guess what? When you get home, the number two plays better. You know what I mean? You've got the crowd.
He gets a little more complicated.

Speaker 4 Come on. Sitting in your own house?

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. That's Chris Middleton tonight.
So, credit to the Bucs. Also, PJ Tucker and Kevin Durant getting in a fight, and the security guard.
Maybe

Speaker 1 that security guard was Bruce Brown.

Speaker 4 He's the Bruce Brown security guard. He was like, I see a scuffle.
He treated that scuffle on the court like he would any scuffle in the stands.

Speaker 4 He's like, it's my job when I see two people that are swinging hands at each other to run out there and shove one of them over. So, yeah, he definitely saw a spotlight moment.

Speaker 4 He went out there and he took it. I want to give a shout-out to Bucs fans in the little area outside the stadium.
That looked fun as hell. I miss seeing that type of stuff.

Speaker 4 You know how, like, Toronto has, what is Jurassic Park? Yep. Do they have a name for it?

Speaker 1 And the tavern. And

Speaker 4 the Toronto Tavern. Is there a name for the outside park where they party in?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 They should call it, because I had an idea for it. They should call it the Dojo.
But it's D-O-E, like the female Bucks.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I like that. I like that.
The Bucs, they have a really nice stadium. I've been there.
Milwaukee's beautiful downtown. It actually is.
So shout out to the Bucs for actually the Deer District.

Speaker 1 The Deer District.

Speaker 4 It's not as good as the Dojo.

Speaker 1 Got it. Yeah, no, it looked fun, though.
It looked like a fun time. And I do, I want to give credit to whoever was the architect behind that arena.
It was a nice arena. Okay.
I like the arena.

Speaker 1 So shout out to that guy. We got Hank's yawning.

Speaker 4 We got a lot of Hank yawns tonight. Some new ones, too.

Speaker 1 Some remixes. Some remixes.
Some of the

Speaker 1 chopped and screwed? No.

Speaker 1 Give us one in the.

Speaker 4 Drop a new yawn.

Speaker 1 This isn't about me. I'm not yawning.
My microphone is off. If I was yawning, you guys wouldn't hear it.
Yawns for the boys. Johnny.
Scott's for the boys. The last time.
No. No.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to get trapped into this again. Okay.
Please, Hank. All right.
So that happened. The Suns are Wagon.

Speaker 4 Also, Blake Griffin played pretty well tonight. I played on defense.
He had a couple nice blocks.

Speaker 1 He had a plus two.

Speaker 5 And E minus six. Kyrie minus four.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 god damn it, Hank. Give it to us.
That was fucked up what you just did.

Speaker 1 Stop. Give us one.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Maybe. If you don't talk to me.
Okay,

Speaker 1 don't talk to me. And I'm like, yawn.
I don't want to hear you click your microphone off when you're about to yawn, okay?

Speaker 1 All right. All right, thank you.
But yeah, sons. Sons are wagging.
They are awesome. That kid who,

Speaker 1 I mean, it was perfect that it happened in front of Jokic, and it happened right after we talked about how he is king for all fat boys.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying that kid was fat, but him ripping off his shirt was an all-time. That'd be so sick.
And his name is Blake, which is incredible.

Speaker 4 So Blake, big shout out to Blake up in the stands. It'd be awesome if he became NBA MVP at some point.
Yeah. And he got to point back to that moment.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But that kid, I guarantee that kid's in the top 10% of basketball players his age.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he also was just

Speaker 1 cash. I like that.
And someone was like, you got to get him on the podcast. I was like, I don't think so.
We've interviewed a 12-year-old before Tinko So Well. Yeah.
Shout out, Mason Ramsey.

Speaker 1 He's like 21 now.

Speaker 4 That kid has learned one of life's most important lessons, and that's things get a lot funner once you take your shirt off.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 And he's learned it at a young age before he's even drinking. Tits out for the best.
So like, imagine that kid gets a couple beers in him

Speaker 4 once he becomes of age. That kid's going to be a monster party.
That kid is going to take over the...

Speaker 4 I don't want to say his name again because we're shouting him out a lot on the show recently, but he's going to be the beer guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I love that kid in a way that you can love a person you're never going to meet. And you see him online for a five-second clip.

Speaker 1 That's just internet culture. Yep.
You know?

Speaker 1 That piece that you sent us the other night? Yep.

Speaker 1 Where everyone's just talking about a famous journalist on Twitter and be like, I actually don't know him. Anyway.
But I love him. Yeah, I love him.

Speaker 4 He's maybe the most important person in my life besides my parents. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So going back, though,

Speaker 1 the shirt-off guy, always fun, except I'm going to throw one flag. There is that one guy in everyone's crew that takes his shirt off because he's got a sick bod at times when it's not appropriate.

Speaker 1 And that guy sucks. Like it will be 62 degrees and he'll be like, what? I'm just trying to get comfortable.
Or like you go on a bachelor party and he never puts his shirt on all weekend.

Speaker 1 And then he's like,

Speaker 4 the best ability is your ray ability.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what? Try to make a joke.
All right. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So I agree. I think that

Speaker 4 you have to have a little girth to you to be able to do that, to make it a party move.

Speaker 4 Otherwise, it's just, it's a weird move. So there is that big caveat.
But that guy has learned an important lesson.

Speaker 1 Shout out that one time. We were in Arizona.

Speaker 1 For the Super Bowl. All of us.
Yeah. And I took off my shirt and the bouncer came over to me and said, you have to put your shirt back on because you're grossing everyone out.

Speaker 1 And I was like, okay, cool. That really hurt my feelings, but fair point.
Fair play.

Speaker 4 Did you see the fellas were yugging last night after the Suns game?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 So it's a movement.

Speaker 1 It's spreading.

Speaker 4 It's like a real thing now. It's just, it's the most positive thing in the world.
You just chug your drink and then you send a video to all the other Suns fans in the world.

Speaker 1 See a Chug, Sunsha Chug.

Speaker 4 Basically, except it's just with the Fellas, and even chicks are fellas. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to let everyone get involved.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's a very inclusive movement. It's just basically drink beer.

Speaker 1 It's like when Chez Hanks said White Boy Summer and then two seconds later was like for everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Hockey, Hank, sorry, you're Bruins. I know you live and die.
Yeah, it's tough. Tough one.
Tough one at the barn last night.

Speaker 4 You guys are banged up, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Super banged up. Tuca, in or out?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 He's such a volatile, there's so many opinions on him in Boston. I hope he stays.
I think he was hurt, and I think if he was full health, they probably would have won that series.

Speaker 1 But yeah, tragic. I saw one tough day.
I saw one Firefest City.

Speaker 4 One meme going around that was the Bruins wheel of excuses for losing a playoff series and one of the wheels on it said we were tired. Is that like an actual like the boys were just tired?

Speaker 4 Yeah they were

Speaker 1 in the playoffs. You leave it all on the line.
I also think Bruce Cassidy did not probably the worst coaching move you can do is just give the other team like their nickname. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like he called them the New York Saints. And then all the islanders are like loving it and calling themselves the New York Saints.

Speaker 1 They had like at the tailgate there was a band playing When the Saints Go Marching In. So

Speaker 1 that was a huge mistake on his part.

Speaker 4 Because the thing he was trying to get the refs to start calling penalties against him, right? He's like, they act like they're not a bunch of Saints out here.

Speaker 1 You can't do that. No, you can't do that.
You cannot do that.

Speaker 4 Oh, I forgot one thing about Jokic. So, did you see the shirt that he was wearing? No.
So he was wearing a shirt that was like his MVP shirt that he made for himself.

Speaker 4 It was a list of all the negative things that have been said about him over the years, like drafted 41st, you're too big, too unathletic, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 4 One of the things on the list was too skinny.

Speaker 1 What? Somebody apparently along the lines.

Speaker 4 Maybe he just threw that one on there. He's like, yeah, they doubted me.
They thought I was in too good a shape.

Speaker 1 They thought I couldn't put on weight.

Speaker 1 This frame can't hold enough weight.

Speaker 4 They thought the big quesarillo wasn't fully loaded.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. All right.
So what else we got? We got the college football.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say? Oh, the.

Speaker 1 It's overtime. We're in overtime right now.
Oh, the.

Speaker 1 Third period. Oh, it's third period.
Yeah, it's 4-3, though. Who you got? All right, so who's going to go to the next goal? I got Flurry.

Speaker 1 Who you got winning? Who you got winning?

Speaker 1 I got the Knights winning. Well, they're up 4-3.

Speaker 4 Ryan Reeves.

Speaker 1 I got Colorado. I'm going to go Colorado as well.
Did you guys see Aaron Rodgers tweeted W

Speaker 1 right after the Avalanche tied it up 2-2?

Speaker 4 He can't wait to get to Denver.

Speaker 1 Can't wait to go get to Denver.

Speaker 4 He's sending all the signals out there.

Speaker 1 Also, my fault, I forgot to start this week by saying this is the week that Aaron Rodgers gets traded.

Speaker 1 So, just can someone, Jake, remind me, please, on Sunday night? Because that's obviously why he did not trade this week. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I said I was going to predict that he gets traded every week until he gets traded.

Speaker 4 I've got a prediction.

Speaker 4 I've been squatting on the steak for a while, but I feel like now's a good time to unveil it about Aaron Rodgers. I think

Speaker 1 there's something telling me

Speaker 4 that he might just go off the grid entirely.

Speaker 4 Like Aaron Rodgers might just not show up on a football field ever again. He might move to Ecuador and go live out in the rainforest with Shaylene Woodley.

Speaker 4 He seems like the type of guy gets away from it for a little bit. Probably has had these conversations before.
Where he's like, babe, what if I, what if we just walked away from everything? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just left it all behind. We've got enough money.
What's really important in life? You know, he gets a little bit of perspective.

Speaker 4 I could see him just like living in an ayahuasca hut, getting pictures of him. Like, he shows up in a market once every two years.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the only thing I'd add on to that is I do, I see it.

Speaker 1 The only thing that I don't see is I do think he would be disappearing, but every like two months, tweet or Instagram something to try to go viral to remind everyone that he disappeared. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like he has to be like, hey, guys, remember, I'm Aaron Rodgers and I disappeared. It's like, but you didn't really because you're telling us.
But he needs that like affirmation.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so he might just like leave subtle clues. Right.
Like even fake clues.

Speaker 1 He'll do like a random podcast like ours.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like John McAfee. That's the guy that did the

Speaker 4 antivirus software. Yes.
And now he's like living on a boat fucking whales. Yeah, he goes on podcasts all the time, but he's like on the lamb from the federal government.

Speaker 1 He'll appear in a deadliest catch episode.

Speaker 4 Exactly.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's going to go almost full J.D. Salinger just to show up every now and again to remind us that he's no longer here.
But I mean, think about it. If there was one quarterback

Speaker 4 or one superstar athlete that might do something like this,

Speaker 4 I feel like it might be Aaron.

Speaker 1 I would love for that to happen. Me too.
So let's just hope for it. All right.
College football, 12 teams. I think most people are okay with this.

Speaker 1 I saw maybe some people who were upset, but because the argument is going to be always, well, it's going to be blowouts, which, okay, we have blowouts anyway.

Speaker 1 This would just be fun games and then blowouts instead of just strictly blowouts because the way they said it was it was 12 teams. The proposed rule is 12 teams.

Speaker 1 One through four is the highest ranked conference champions. So, Notre Dame gets a little bit screwed there.
So, they could never get a buy under this rule.

Speaker 1 And then five through 12, they match up, and then the top four seeds in that get a home playoff game, which is awesome. I love that.

Speaker 1 So, that part, like, someone tweeted out what the playoffs would have been a couple years ago, and it would have been like Florida going to Madison to play in December, which would be awesome.

Speaker 4 Hell yes, like some snow playoffs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, weird games, weird shit.

Speaker 4 I like the idea of a home playoff game, too, in college football. That's amazing.

Speaker 4 There is a little bit of the passion that gets taken out of it when you see a game being played in, I don't know, Atlanta, you know, where neither team really has a home stake to it.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I'm all in for that, too. I saw, there was one person I talked to today that didn't like it.
It was Big T, who's basically a cop. And his answer was, well,

Speaker 4 you're going to have teams that are just going to...

Speaker 4 Sure, you could have a 12-seed beat a one-seed once out of every 100 times, and then that team gets to advance. It's like, well, yeah, that's kind of the magic of playing the games.

Speaker 4 And they're not going to lose.

Speaker 4 Like, the number one seed is probably never going to get beaten by a 12-seed.

Speaker 4 But under his logic, why do they even play the games? Why don't you just give the championship to Clemson or Alabama every year?

Speaker 1 If you're a Tennessee fan, you should be pumped about that.

Speaker 4 That's what I told him. I was like, once every seven years, you might get a team into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 There are really, I'm trying to think of like who would not be pumped.

Speaker 1 Notre Dame, maybe, but no, Notre Dame even wins because Notre Dame essentially would have the ability to have a team good enough to be in the playoff almost every single year.

Speaker 4 I hope that they make Notre Dame just play Alabama first round every year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's like, this is,

Speaker 1 I get it. I get the blow-up factor.
I understand that. But again, what is it right now? There's three teams that are better than everyone else every single year.

Speaker 1 They're Alabama, Ohio State, and Clemson. They always will be there.
We'll have a first round that's competitive. Then they will play those teams.
They will probably lose.

Speaker 1 We'll probably end up with the same winner every time. But the regular season, people will say, oh, the regular season doesn't matter as much.

Speaker 1 No, I think the regular season matters more because, you know, it used to be if you have one game that you lose, you're out.

Speaker 1 Now the games at the end of the season, teams jockeying for those conference title games, for

Speaker 1 higher seating, it all matters. And then, I don't know, I just, I know this is probably going to end up with the same teams, but...

Speaker 1 If you are a power five school, if you are a school like a Tennessee or a Wisconsin or like somewhere where you're like, okay, we're probably never going to crack the top four, this is good for recruiting.

Speaker 1 This is a good sell to recruits to being like, hey, there's a path for us to get to the playoff.

Speaker 1 If you're a power five school or a non-power five school, you can actually, if you're, you're going to Cincinnati, you used to be able to say, oh, yeah, we're going to go to the playoff.

Speaker 1 No, you're not. You're never going to get to the playoff.
There's always a ceiling to what you can do. You can go undefeated.
You still won't crack the top four.

Speaker 1 Now you can make this argument that, yes, we will be in the playoff if we have a fantastic season. Come play for us.
You can play at the highest level against some of these teams.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the argument that no one's going to care about the Iron Bowl Bowl if at the end of the season you're waiting to see if Auburn's going to be ranked number third or sixth overall, I'm pretty sure that the state of Alabama and the country is still going to care about Alabama versus Auburn.

Speaker 4 And then the other argument is, well, you're just going to have people getting mad if they're on the bubble and they get left out of the 12 seed.

Speaker 4 It's the same argument we're going to end up having about that that we do right now. It's like, well, no, if it's...
If you look at college basketball, we have that discussion.

Speaker 4 It's a fun discussion to have all year. And then when it comes time to decide who's in and who's out, you have maybe like two hours where you're like, oh, this team got screwed.
And then you move on.

Speaker 4 Right. Because there are enough teams where you're like, okay, you weren't going to win anyways.
And I'd like to actually hashtag thank you, Big Cat, because you're being selfless, right?

Speaker 4 Everyone who's opposed to this idea should look at Big Cat and say, Big Cat is putting his own personal feelings aside for the good of the game of college football because there is no team that stands a better chance of getting like an 11 or a 12 seed and losing to Georgia by 40 points every year, year, pretty much in this playoff system.

Speaker 1 Higher than that sometimes.

Speaker 4 And Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 But you know what I'm saying. No, I know.

Speaker 1 The first thing I did was go back and look. I think we would have made the playoff like seven times in the last 20 years.
Like, oh, that's pretty good. This is sick.
Yeah. So I don't know.
I just,

Speaker 1 I get a couple of the arguments, the blowout thing, I understand, but that's never going to be fixed under the current system.

Speaker 1 There's always, like, the current system will continue to be the best three or four programs, will continue to be the best three or four programs and dominate it.

Speaker 1 Now, at least you have the Pac-12 getting in. Like, you have representation, you hopefully get it even and out of like recruits, all these things.

Speaker 4 You might get a great MAC team in there. Who knows?

Speaker 1 Once every 20 years, yeah, the MAC thing, I wish they had just been like, all right, and we also will give the 12th seed every year to the Mac. Yeah, it would have been cool.

Speaker 1 But you might, you might get

Speaker 1 some of these

Speaker 4 smaller conferences that end up getting in there occasionally. Western Michigan

Speaker 1 2017, Wisconsin beat them, I think, in the Cotton Bowl. I think they finished the season.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do they finish the season?

Speaker 4 Was that the team that we saw play in Detroit?

Speaker 1 Yes. What do they finish the season? They finished the season 13-1.
What were they ranked, Jake? Can you find that for me?

Speaker 4 Coaches 6, AP-7.

Speaker 1 So there you go.

Speaker 1 They would have made the tournament there. So, yeah, there we go.
West, you know, some MAC representation. Imagine if MAC team won it all.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 That'd be the coolest thing ever. That'd be awesome.

Speaker 1 All right. Anything else? Oh, we are going to.
So thank you to everyone who watched PFT Puke on the live stream. Yeah, thanks.
A couple notes from that. PFT, you're champ.

Speaker 4 I still feel pretty bad right now.

Speaker 4 I weighed myself before. That was a shocking situation because I weighed myself on the carpet and then I took the scale out to the cement floor, added an extra 11 pounds.

Speaker 4 So it was 188 when I started on the live stream.

Speaker 4 After I threw up, I was still at 193.

Speaker 4 So I'm probably just going to, I'm just going to, I think this is like like day one of me

Speaker 4 getting fat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get to 200.

Speaker 1 So champ there,

Speaker 1 the YouTube went well. Thank you for everyone who watched, subscribed.
There will probably be future

Speaker 1 YouTube broadcasts from the studio, similar setting. No puking, but hey, Thursday night football.
No promise.

Speaker 1 We throw on the live stream. We hang with the boys.
So make sure you subscribe. Make sure you like.
And also, and girls, and thank you to everyone who donated.

Speaker 1 We have something very fun planned for all the AWLs where it's going to basically be a shoot the moon bet of championships we'll talk about it next Friday once we get it up in the sportsbook app because we're going to put something in there so that everyone can have fun and it's going to be awesome and and if we win it we will probably stop doing part of my take

Speaker 4 it's going to be what like eight hundred thousand dollars per person I think we're going to make it more I think we've got to make it more well here's the thing so if we if we end up hitting on this parlay we got to let it it ride on Brooks at the Masters next year.

Speaker 1 Yes, and it all is linked to Duke. And it's basically

Speaker 1 insurance against Duke winning it all and me just being miserable. So, all right.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I said I was. I did the right thing there.

Speaker 4 Oh, and Hank will have to get a credit to me again.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I did the right thing.
I will get a cat. I wanted to say the other thing, and I didn't say it.
Good. Yeah, good.
Credit to Big Cat. Yeah, credit to me.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interviews. All right, so we got two great interviews.
Kirk Goldsbury, we taped in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 So there were already some outdated takes, but we acknowledged that as we did it. BFD might throw up during this ad.
So Kirk Goldsbury, great interview, though, tells us about all the NBA going on.

Speaker 1 And bonus, a little Grateful Dead talk at the end. Kirk is a big deadhead.

Speaker 4 What am I supposed to do with this bottle Hank just threw me? Am I supposed to puke into that?

Speaker 1 Do I bring in the garbage?

Speaker 4 Hank just threw me a 20-ounce bottle. Like, I'm going to

Speaker 1 put my lips in. Do you need a trinket? Do I bring in the garbage? No.

Speaker 1 Oh, also, by the way, the USA-Mexico game actually you know what we'll recap it on monday we're gonna wait till monday to yeah yeah okay sunday's game last sunday's game right we'll wait a full yeah people were mad we didn't talk about it on monday or on wednesday no no no let's hold off okay yeah let's hold off wait a lot of people probably still have a dvr yes we haven't watched it it's the finals

Speaker 4 of the final conca calf it's basically a trophy like the civil conflict that we made up two years ago then just to have an important stock against me monday and maybe not monday maybe another day but we will get to it uh we just ran out of time all right before we get to kirk goldsbury hey it's pft here reminding you that boars head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless whether you order catering platters ahead from your local boars head retailer or you create your own spread at home with boars head premium deli meats and cheeses you are sure to impress your guests My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time Whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration seriously guys It's a game-changing flavor for every gathering boarshead committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Here is Kirk Goldsbury

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest Kirk Goldsbury. He is an analyst NBA analyst on ESPN.
He also is a New York Times best-selling author, No Big Deal, Sprawl Ball,

Speaker 1 and a professor, pretty much everything.

Speaker 4 Can we say that you are the architect of the San Antonio Spurs?

Speaker 6 Yes, absolutely. No, you can't.

Speaker 1 No, we're going to say it. We're going to say he's the architect.
So, Kirk, we want to have you on and talk a little NBA playoffs.

Speaker 1 We're going to do something here that I love, putting our guests out on a limb because we are taping this before game three of the Nets and Bucks series. So, we don't know what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 So, everything you're about to say could be wildly wrong. But what the hell is going on with this series? Is it the Nets are so good and we just didn't realize it?

Speaker 1 Or the Bucs are a fundamentally flawed team that will always have this type of ceiling?

Speaker 6 I got to go with the first thing. I think the Nets are a legit super team.
These guys are missing.

Speaker 6 James Harden, arguably the greatest offensive player in the last few years, and they are still crushing it with Kevin Durant, who is snapped back into pre-injury form and looks like him old self.

Speaker 6 When Joe Harris, the best catch and shoot guy in the league, is your fourth option, man, you're a super team.

Speaker 6 When Kyrie Irving, one of the most dynamic guards on planet Earth, guys, is your third option when James is right, you're a super team.

Speaker 6 So, what we're seeing right now, I think, has more to do with the Brooklyn Nets just asserting their dominance than anything to do with the Bucs.

Speaker 4 And the re-emergence of Blake Griffin. I know that you think he's the hardest working player in the NBA.
Would that be fair to say?

Speaker 6 Well, he's a Blake of the Year candidate for a reason. And I think that has a lot to do with his heart, man.
And it is a really actually inspiring story.

Speaker 6 I'm not going to get too sappy, but watching him, I think he's the hardest player, highest playing player in this series, PFT. He's diving for loose balls.
He's taking pride on the defensive end.

Speaker 6 of the court and he's really setting the tone by keeping Giannis at bay, at least in these first few games, with his physical and savvy defensive stuff. So I didn't see this coming.

Speaker 6 Like a lot of people, you know, Blake Griffin was not a big part of NBA discourse the way I saw it, but here it is. And I think it's one of the best stories in the league.

Speaker 6 And the fact that it's happening on defense in this series, PFT, makes him a solid Blake of the Year candidate, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 So you mentioned loose balls, diving for loose balls. You know, you have incredible charts and advanced stats, and you make it put in a beautiful way.

Speaker 1 But the one thing when it comes to like watching basketball, and I love this part of the game, is when I always judge, judge like if a player is pissing off the opponent how a loose ball like jump ball scrum goes and in the first game of the series Bobby Porter just basically tried to choke Blake Griffin out which tells me he's doing like all the right things to to out muscle out hustle everyone do you have any stats for that like how aggressive because it does usually have like when someone gets very aggressive in a loose ball setting and like goes a little extra it's usually because the guy is just pissing him off and he's under his skin and able to like you know kind of use that extra hustle to to bother him yeah i think there is something to that the stat i can give you is that when he was guarding yannis yannis was four of 10 in game two and his average shot distance was 16 feet away from the rim yannis is the guy who stirs that drink in milwaukee if he's getting to the rim it's over you can't beat them and blake is really just cutting it off there he is not letting yannis get to those dunks and layups uh and and they and with that that is their spirit animal in Milwaukee.

Speaker 6 Giannis getting to the rim is the most important thing.

Speaker 6 And that is exactly what Blake has been able to take away is his penetration in those easy buckets that we've gotten used to seeing from Giannis onto Tacumbo.

Speaker 1 That's interesting because

Speaker 1 if you look at the Nets, you wouldn't say like, oh, they have an incredible rim protector like a Rudy Gobert, but they're able to protect the rim in other ways, you're saying.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the biggest question, Big Cat, coming into this postseason for the Brooklyn Nets was their defense remember one of the sort of golden rules of nba analytics is that if you don't rank in the top 10 or 11 in defensive rating at the end of the regular season you're not a championship contender literally every champion for the last 20 years has checked that exact box these guys rank 22nd in the nba in defensive rating at the end of the regular season that disqualifies them according to that sort of piece of conventional wisdom.

Speaker 6 Now, what they're doing in this series is showing that they're a better defensive team than that.

Speaker 6 And that has a lot to do with Blake protecting the rim, but that rim protection really starts away from the rim by cutting off Giannis's drives, who is their one, two, and three best attacker for Milwaukee.

Speaker 6 So they don't have a Rudy Gobert. They don't have a DeAndre Ayton, but Blake is kind of doing that by

Speaker 6 stifling Giannis's rim attack.

Speaker 4 Have we ever seen that before in super teams? Like Abel, we talk about flipping the switch when it comes to playoffs.

Speaker 4 I feel like we say that every single year about LeBron, where he's like going to the playoffs and you're like, well, he's he's going to end up becoming LeBron at some point and flip the switch.

Speaker 4 Can you flip a switch on defense?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think you can. I think PFT, the last Warriors team did that.
I think they ranked 11th compared to, you know, their three championships, PFT. They ranked first in defensive rating.

Speaker 6 Their first one second in the league. They were a defensive juggernaut, but that third one,

Speaker 6 they had dipped a little bit. But when it came time to lock it up, they did that.

Speaker 6 And then there's the Lakers are a famous example of that, too, when Shaq would play his way into shape during the season.

Speaker 6 And by the end, he had played his way into shape, and then nobody could score on them by the time it counted.

Speaker 4 You might be one of our favorite nerds that we have. You're like the coolest nerd.

Speaker 4 You talk about nerdy stuff, but you're like, you're deceptively smooth in a way.

Speaker 4 We always talk about the unquantifiable stuff about sports, like grit. We love grit.

Speaker 4 Is there a way that, you know, using your data visualization, your fancy Greek numbers and whatever that is, can you quantify grit?

Speaker 6 We're getting there, but no, And that's sort of the beauty of grit and this stuff. That's why we love to watch it.

Speaker 6 You know, I know PFT, you're a big playoff hockey guy, and that's a sport where that stuff really shows up. And it's really hard to quantify with a team or an individual player.

Speaker 6 We just talked about it with Blake Griffin.

Speaker 6 I think the league is getting closer to it. We're tallying hustle stats in a way that we weren't doing like 10 years ago, deflected passes, loose balls.
So we're getting there, but no.

Speaker 6 And then there's the opposite of grit is what would you say is is that softness. And we see some of that too in the playoffs, don't we?

Speaker 6 And we don't quantify softness, you know, and I think that is an interesting thing, but that's why, by the way, isn't it great that the fans are back in these buildings rattling these guys?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 6 Guy Fieri's out there yelling, scaring people, scaring the kids. And it's great in Phoenix and Utah, but we can't quantify that stuff.
Who's getting rattled? Giannis is two of 10 at the line.

Speaker 1 That's mental, dude.

Speaker 6 So we don't have numbers that quantify that other than just the outcome.

Speaker 4 Do you have biggest, can you quantify like biggest head cases in the league? Like guys who in late game situations, their free throw percentage like takes a noticeable dip.

Speaker 4 If you have enough like stats to put that together, can you be like, these guys are the choke artists?

Speaker 6 Unfortunately, Giannis is one of my favorite players, but in the playoffs, especially in some of the most important playoff series of his career.

Speaker 6 And again, he's one of my favorite players. The numbers are pretty bad.

Speaker 6 In the Toronto series, when they almost went to the finals and Kawhi sort of ripped their hearts out in 2019, Giannis was at his worst in those close games.

Speaker 6 And again, in this series versus the Nets, when they need him to be his best at the free throw line, he is two of 10 so far through the first two games. So yeah, we can look at that stuff.

Speaker 6 And, you know,

Speaker 6 it's a human thing. I mean, I always tell players that I know is like, I would be terrified up there shooting free throws in Madison Square Garden with all these eyeballs on there.

Speaker 6 So it's just human nature that some of these guys.

Speaker 1 have a harder time than others. All right.
So you mentioned Kawhi.

Speaker 1 Let's do that series real quick, put you out on a limb, another one that has a second game tonight. So the Jazz are incredible defensively.
Donovan Mitchell was incredible game one.

Speaker 1 That's like their next level when he is playing like that. How do you see the rest of this series going, though? Because Kawhi, you know, he

Speaker 1 like the Clippers Mavs series, he was incredible off the charts. You could argue, you know, the best two-way player right now in the playoffs.
But how do you see the rest of this series?

Speaker 1 And does it hinge on playoff P

Speaker 1 not being being playoff poo-poo or whatever what are we calling them playoff pu playoff l yeah we call them playoff pu yeah

Speaker 6 pandemic p has been used i've never used it uh but i've heard it uttered by other other teams playoff p yeah layoff p these are all yeah really high high level stuff here it does come down to paul george i think cat i think that he has to be good because this is not last year's jazz team um this is the first team in nba history that's averaged over 50 points per game on threes alone they're the best three-point shooting team arguably arguably in NBA history, better than the Dubs, better than those Rockets teams.

Speaker 6 And last year in the bubble, they struggled, but they didn't have Bogdan Boganovich, who's a really good scorer. And this year, their offense just looks a lot better.

Speaker 6 Rudy Gobert is obviously the best defensive player in the league, and he won that game with that block shot in game one.

Speaker 6 So this is not last year's jazz team, and fans need to realize that.

Speaker 6 The other sneaky thing that I think is really important in that series, guys, is the fact that LA doesn't have a a home court advantage much at all because of the way that the coronavirus protocols are different in California versus Utah.

Speaker 6 So these Utah games, have we seen, they're nuts. And then you go to Staples and it's almost like a neutral site.
So I think Utah.

Speaker 6 Obviously,

Speaker 6 they won the first game and I think they deserve, they've been the best team all year. They deserve some respect there.

Speaker 6 But guys, the last thing I'll say is don't bet against Kawhi Leonard in the playoffs.

Speaker 6 This dude came down from 2-0 in that first round series with one of the all-time, one of the all-time performances the stat will give you is he was the first guy since Shaq to score 200 points and shoot 60% from the field in a single playoff series.

Speaker 6 Since Shaq was in the Lakers in 2000, so he's really doing stuff that nobody else is doing. And it's between him and Durant, who's the best player right now in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 So if the Clippers make it to the finals, let's just say hypothetically, the Clippers win DNBA championship this year and Kawhi Leonard becomes finals MVP.

Speaker 4 Would he be the only player in the history of basketball to win finals MVP on three different teams?

Speaker 6 I think he would. I don't have that exact stat in front of me, but I can't think anybody who did that.

Speaker 6 You know, LeBron's done it for three teams.

Speaker 1 LeBron James. Dude, LeBron James.
Yeah. That would make sense.

Speaker 1 That would make sense. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Last year's goes

Speaker 1 asterisk. I also gave the Cavs year was Kyrie.
I gave that MVP to Kyrie.

Speaker 6 He definitely had the most valuable shot. But yeah, in all seriousness, LeBron, and I think, dude, so if either LeBron or KD wins finals MVP, here's a good stat.

Speaker 6 KD, Kawhi, and LeBron will have won nine of the last 10 finals MVPs, and they'll all have done it for multiple teams, I think.

Speaker 1 And the best part about that stat is Andre Eguidalo would be the 10th.

Speaker 1 That's the best part of that stat. For locking down

Speaker 1 LeBron Jay, kind of it's

Speaker 6 LeBron's MVP. Anyway, but yeah, I think, but that tells you, I think, a bigger thing that's happening in the NBA right now, which is it's now about the name on the back of the jersey.

Speaker 6 Remember when your coach said, it's about the name on the front of the jersey. Not in the NBA, it's not.

Speaker 6 These guys are switching teams and they're kicking butt no matter what jersey they're putting on that year. So LeBron, Kawhi, and KD are obviously doing it wherever they play.

Speaker 4 Well, what about Team USA? You're also the architect of Team USA basketball. You've worked for that organization for a long time.
Are you doing any work for them? And if so,

Speaker 4 can you tell us what the final lineup is going to be?

Speaker 6 I can. I rotated off.
Like, like a lot of the players, I looked at it as a one chance to do it. I did it in 2016, PFT.

Speaker 7 We won the gold.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say congrats. That must have been hard.

Speaker 6 Hey, hey, a lot of people don't realize what went into that, Big Cat, how the stats really helped us beat those international teams. But we did it.

Speaker 4 Who was your starting five again that year?

Speaker 6 Oh, well, it rotated. Coach K is a genius.
We went through a bunch of numbers. Sometimes we put Durant and Clay out there.
You know, it depends on who we're playing, you know, PFT, but we won.

Speaker 6 And I don't know who's going to play this year. Obviously, the Olympics are kind of a mess.
Let's be honest. Japan is struggling with the coronavirus.
Some guys will go and play.

Speaker 6 And I sure hope Team USA wins the gold, but a lot's up in the air. And the other thing I'll say about that is

Speaker 6 Anthony Davis' injury this year is related to that short offseason. And we've seen a flurry.
of these short offseason related injuries throughout the league.

Speaker 6 My colleague Baxter Holmes at ESPN did a great piece on that.

Speaker 6 But as we approach, again, one of the shortest offseasons in league history, how many of these guys are going to want to go to Japan for three or four weeks in the middle of that instead of just resting and recovering?

Speaker 6 So it's going to be interesting to see who plays. And we're up against it as Team USA this year.

Speaker 4 I like how they brought you in as a data guy for Kyrie Irving, Jimmy Butler, Kevin Durant.

Speaker 4 Let's see who else. Clay Thompson, Draymond Green, Paul George,

Speaker 1 Carmelo Anthony, Black Sky Forever. Yeah.
That's a gold medal.

Speaker 6 Hey, I was part of that team. That was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
And

Speaker 6 this is one of my stories for Hank.

Speaker 6 Like a lot of people, I grew up hating Duke, Duke basketball, you know, and I got a chance to go, and within like seven minutes of being in a room with Coach K, I was like the biggest Duke fan in the world.

Speaker 1 No, all right, we'll cut that part. We'll cut that part.
All right, we're going to get some more Kirk Goldsbury in a second, but we're brought to you by our friends.

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Speaker 1 All right. More Kirk Goldsbury coming up.
All right. Let's talk about our sons.
We are famously a diehard sons podcast.

Speaker 1 Famously.

Speaker 1 Can they go all the way? That's my son's question.

Speaker 6 It sure looks like it, big cat. I think, you know, this series could end quickly.
They are just dominating the Nuggets who are, to be fair, beat up. Michael Porter Jr.
looks like his back's hurting.

Speaker 6 And then obviously Jamal Murray's not there. So that's a big hit for Denver.
But, you know, don't take anything away from the Sons team.

Speaker 6 Chris Paul is playing about as well as I've ever seen Chris Paul play. And that's saying something.

Speaker 6 He's putting out like 10, 15 assists and no turnovers. He's like a robot out there, like a playmaking robot.

Speaker 6 And then the other thing I love about this team right now is not only they have the Chris Paul, but now they have Devin Booker, who's that guy who you need when there's one minute left to go get a jumper.

Speaker 6 He's going to get that shot for you.

Speaker 6 And then DeAndre Ayton is doing a wonderful job. on the MVP.
So it looks like the Suns are set up to have eliminated the defending champs in round one, despite Chris Paul being banged up.

Speaker 6 Now, I know Anthony Davis was hurt, but don't take anything away from the Suns. And then in round two, they look like they're going to eliminate the MVP, Nicola Jokic.

Speaker 6 So if that doesn't tell you they're ready for a deep run, I don't know what does. And Monty Williams deserved the coach of the year, my old friend from the Spurs.
But this team has everything.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, they could go all the way.

Speaker 1 Real quick on Jokic. So we got to give him a little credit.

Speaker 1 How improbable is it? Because not only is the 41st pick, but I saw that you were treating about how he's the first center in like 20 years.

Speaker 1 Like, put this MVP season into perspective overall, both in probability and like where it ranks, you know, in terms of how great he was this season.

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, that's a big theme in my book. And I've been tweeting this graphic for a couple of years, like MVPs by position.

Speaker 6 Because before the three-point line Big Cat was added in 1979, 80, 18 of the 20 previous MVPs in the NBA were centers. You know, the Will Chamberlains, the Kareems, the Bill Russells.

Speaker 6 This was a centers league, man.

Speaker 6 And then only one of the last 20 has been, and that's Jokic. And only like two of the last 22, because we have to go back to Shaq again.
We talked about Shaq a lot in this podcast.

Speaker 6 Shaq won it in 2000.

Speaker 6 And so since then, it's been power forwards, small forwards, point guards, shooting guards. But the significance of Jokic is he's made big men great again.
And the guy who's the runner-up,

Speaker 6 Joel Embiid, looks like he could be MVP if he could play a full season.

Speaker 6 Because one of the reasons that it was a runaway for Jokic this year was just that Embiid missed a lot of time, like a lot of guys this year.

Speaker 6 But yes, centers are relevant again, thanks to, I would say, three guys really. Jokic, Joelle Embiid, who are both leading the top teams in their conferences.

Speaker 6 I should say Rudy Gobert, the top team in the West. So that's the third guy.
Gobert, Embiid, and Jokic, three

Speaker 6 great centers

Speaker 6 at the beginning of their prime. So centers are back, long story short, and this Jokic MVP thing.
What is it, hot seat, cool thrown?

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you guys should use centers.

Speaker 4 Centers are back. Yeah, I'd like to see a return to like just the bang, like the hard elbows, playoff fouls, nobody flies in the paint.
That old NBA for a little bit. It'd be a nice change of pace.

Speaker 4 Are you one of the guys that also missed on Jokic? You know, there's everybody missed on him.

Speaker 4 There's been like just a running laundry list of people for the last like four days just putting their hand up and be like, I missed on this guy. Everyone missed on him.

Speaker 4 What was it about his game that was so confusing to scouts back when he was a teenager?

Speaker 6 Well, it's a little bit like the NFL draft. Like we get seduced by the measurables, right? And this is something that Jokic does not have a lot of.
He's a big, plodding, slow guy.

Speaker 6 He doesn't have switchability. He doesn't have lateral quickness.
And I don't think many scouts really saw his ability to shoot. at that time becoming so good.

Speaker 6 I mean, he essentially can shoot like Dirk. I know that sounds like sacrilege to some people, but his numbers back it up.

Speaker 6 And then there's the passing uh and once this denver nuggets team started to play through jokic on the elbows he's one of the best playmakers period not at the center position period in the nba uh we missed on him because he's not a great athlete uh and at that time we were skew we were sort of skewing away from large players who couldn't switch defensively and uh man it's He's one of the most skilled players in the league, period.

Speaker 6 And he's kind of goofy to watch and quirky. But isn't that what we love about basketball? It's like there's so many different ways to be great.
And that's what I love about Jokic. He's just different.

Speaker 6 Probably never seen anything like it.

Speaker 4 You brought the Sixers a second ago.

Speaker 4 I had a take that I felt like this was going to be a series where it might go seven, but none of the games are going to be super, super close. That might be wrong.

Speaker 4 I've been wrong before. But then I saw that you were talking about that

Speaker 4 basically the Sixers could flip this entire series if they just elected to use their best defensive players against Trey Young instead of trying to do some weird rotation.

Speaker 4 Why do you think they even thought it was a good idea to not put Ben Simmons on Trae Young?

Speaker 6 Probably because they wanted to save his energy because Trae Young's a giant pain in the butt.

Speaker 6 And, you know, we did this when we were at the Spurs and we had Kawhi, but we wouldn't throw Kawhi on somebody until we had to.

Speaker 6 And that's what exactly what Nick Nurse did in those 2019 finals when he was like game three. He's like, I guess we could shut down Giannis with Kawhi.
And then the series changed.

Speaker 6 And again, with Donchich, we saw Ty Lu Lou finally play the Kawhi card to shut down Luca.

Speaker 6 So, Danny Green has an interesting career. I used to work with him at Spurs, and he was our primary defender on guys like Harden and KD in big playoff series until we really needed Kawhi.

Speaker 6 And that's essentially what Doc did in this series, right? And he tried to get away with using Danny, who's a little older now, a fantastic defensive player, but he's a little older now.

Speaker 6 Ben Simmons is an absolute stud, and so is Matisse Steibel,

Speaker 6 who I think a lot of Philly fans would rather see on

Speaker 6 Trey Young at this point. And the numbers back it up.
And guess what? I think Doc's already made that switch. So I think Philly is an incredible defense.

Speaker 6 And if they win this series against the Hawks, it's going to have a lot to do with these two guys, Ben Simmons and Matisse Thiebel, shutting down the ascendant Trey Young.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 who's going to, is it just Nets going to win it all? Like, are you, do you see any other team, any other way this is going to go? Even let's even say James Harden isn't going to be back.

Speaker 1 Like, are they just that much better than everyone else from an offensive standpoint?

Speaker 6 It kind of seems that way. And I didn't see this defense coming.
And I thought the Bucs were going to give them more of a fight.

Speaker 6 And they still could.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 6 it sure seems that way. Nobody is stopping this team on offense.

Speaker 6 And if they can just play passable defense, which they've exceeded that passable margin in the first two rounds, in my opinion, they look like they're going to certainly come out of the east.

Speaker 6 I mean, Embiid is now banged up. The Bucs look like they can't hit a shot.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 you can't beat the Brooklyn Nets if you can't hit jump shots, folks. And

Speaker 6 you're not going to lose if you have Kevin Durant. And James Harden comes back.
Like, geez, this is without Harden.

Speaker 6 But that said, big cat, I think whoever comes out of the West is going to be ready for a fight. They're going to be battle-tested.

Speaker 6 They're going to have beaten necessarily two or three great opponents on the way.

Speaker 6 And I would not look past whoever emerges from the Western Conference, whether it's Phoenix, Utah, or the Clippers, or whatever.

Speaker 1 It's funny because it's like in playoff basketball, it always, or at least a lot of times it comes down to like, can your second and third option step up and elevate their game?

Speaker 1 And you see it with the Bucs, where it's like, Chris Middleton's nice, but he's not. He's Chris Middleton.
Like, some days he'll shoot six for 20. Some days he'll be look good.

Speaker 1 And then the Nets, it's like, oh, their second option is Kyrie Irving. And their third option, even when James Harden out, is Blake Griffin, who's a phenomenal basketball player.

Speaker 1 Oh, and Joe Harris, like you said, best catch and shoot. It's just not fair.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And then you got guys like Mike James and, you know, Landry Shamett out there who are overperforming too.
Everybody is playing well.

Speaker 6 I think I looked at the non-big three nets in the first two games of the Buck Series.

Speaker 6 They're averaging 66 points a game, and they're essentially 50, 40, 90 guys, meaning they're making 50% of their shots overall, 40% of their threes, and nearly 90% of their free throws.

Speaker 6 In other words, they're playing like a superstar collectively.

Speaker 6 And we weren't expecting that. I think coming into the playoffs, one of the big sort of question marks around the Nets was defense, as we already talked about, but whether their depth would show up.

Speaker 6 And both of these question marks have sort of been answered, at least in the first few rounds here.

Speaker 6 And it looks like Steve Nash deserves a lot of credit for putting this team together.

Speaker 6 They've been playing different lineups all year, but somehow they've coalesced at the exact right time and are playing,

Speaker 6 to my view, the best basketball in the league right now.

Speaker 4 So, if you've got a superstar team and it's pretty much, it sounds like a given that they're going to probably win the NBA Finals, you have to come up with other hypothetical debates to keep yourself,

Speaker 4 I guess, second-guessing really how great they are. So, the two that we thought about the other day are: one,

Speaker 4 could these Nets beat those Warriors?

Speaker 4 Could this KD team beat his old KD team? And then after that, you get to determine where they rank on the pantheon of greatest NBA teams of all time. So what do you think?

Speaker 4 Are these Nets better than those Warriors?

Speaker 6 I don't think so. I'm not going to give them that yet, PFT.
There's one big reason and a few small reasons why.

Speaker 6 I think those Warriors teams, as we talked about earlier, were defensive juggernauts and offensive juggernauts. As I mentioned earlier, they ranked in the top.

Speaker 6 one and two of their first two championships. You know, you think about Draymond Green, Andre Godala, Sean Livingston.
These guys were a pain in the butt on defense.

Speaker 6 And of course, the Splash Brothers and then those Durant years were pretty good. Talk about a third option.

Speaker 6 There were times when Clay Thompson was a third option, and that's just ridiculous. So they were a pretty good offensive team.

Speaker 6 And I'll take pre-injury KD over post-injury KD, even though it looks like he's played pretty well.

Speaker 6 And I'll take Steph over Harden by a narrow margin. Right now, that said,

Speaker 6 you know. Maybe in a year or two, we're looking back and saying this is the best team of all time.
I will give them,

Speaker 6 like we're saying, they don't have James Harden out there and they're blowing out their second-round opponent and scoring like nobody's business.

Speaker 6 So, gosh, they have a lot of firepower, but I just respect that Warriors dynasty so much for what they did on that less than glamorous end of the court.

Speaker 4 So, who guards KD in that situation? Does Clay guard KD or does KD guard KD?

Speaker 6 Oh, KD would shut down KD. He knows all the moves.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 6 he would have a hand in the face. He would know where he was going before he went there.
He would be the greatest defender of Kevin Durant of all time.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And then the other hypothetical was, do you think that these Nets could win an NBA title if everybody in their starting five had to score the exact same amount of points every game?

Speaker 4 The Suns almost did it last night, unintentionally.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like an egalitarian model.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like you.

Speaker 6 Marxist, like Sean Marxist style.

Speaker 1 But the other team doesn't know. The other team doesn't know.
So they can't be like, oh, Kyrie's got 20 and KD's got eight. They're going to try to get KD to 20.

Speaker 6 so would all five of the starters all five all five of the starters have to get the same the bench can do whatever but the five guys it's gonna be joe harris because if if i pick up on this and i'm the other team and they don't know they're not i still need joe harris to get to 20 yeah he can he could definitely do that if they start getting him good looks yeah because they can they could set him up they can run plays without you know like they can be like all right we're all at 20.

Speaker 1 we got to get two for Blake and 10 for Joe Harris. They're all running plays for Joe Harris in the third quarter.
I really think they could do it.

Speaker 6 I think they could probably do that.

Speaker 7 I think that's how good they are.

Speaker 6 I think Blake Griffin and Joe Harris as off-ball threats.

Speaker 6 If the other team didn't know what was up, yeah, they could all get exactly 25 points and end up with 125 at the end of the night.

Speaker 1 I hope they do it.

Speaker 4 If they're up 3-0 in one of these series, just try it, Nets. Don't be cowards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just fuck with people. All right, I got two last things.
One is Father's Day is coming up, and we're going to plug this. You didn't even ask us to do this, but it is so goddamn cool.

Speaker 1 It is the Naismith International Park map. Kirk made this map.
It's got like basketball history on it. It's very cool.
It's on thegoldenhexagon.com. You can find it also a link in his Twitter bio.

Speaker 1 It's 50 bucks. If your father loves basketball, that is the perfect Father's Day present.

Speaker 4 Or if he loves maps.

Speaker 1 But it's also like, you know, we all have to do that. Any dad in your life.

Speaker 6 It doesn't have to be your dad.

Speaker 6 First of all, thank you. You guys are very generous for doing that.
But I am proud of this project.

Speaker 6 It combines my love affair with cartography and map making with the NBA and college basketball and women's basketball. It is basketball history on a map.

Speaker 6 So I appreciate you guys doing that for any dad in your life. Yeah, thegoldenhexagon.com.
I appreciate you saying that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it actually is awesome because I love maps. I want to see, you know, every March we do

Speaker 4 in trains. We do this thing every year where we talk about brackets non-stop for a month.

Speaker 4 I would like more things to be, more data and more history to be represented in map form because I will sit there and I will stare at a map regardless of what's on it for probably 30 minutes if you you just put it in front of me.

Speaker 6 They're the most powerful documents in human history, PFT. And I think you're just attracted to that.
I think you're attracted to that.

Speaker 1 Man, track power.

Speaker 1 But this is actually like, this is one of those things where you get, you're thinking, what do I get my dad for Father's Day?

Speaker 1 Don't get him like, you know, a book or a tie or something like that or like a steak. Get him this because then he'll be like, wow, you really put some thought into this.

Speaker 1 Like you really thought about this present, but really you just listened to part of my takes. That was a free, that, that, that's the way to impress your dad on Father's Day.
There it is. All right.

Speaker 1 I had one last question, and this is now, we're going to get niche audience here, so people just deal with it for a couple minutes. I didn't realize you were a deadhead.

Speaker 1 Oh, huge. I am as well.
I had a couple questions for you. I think I actually realized it when you responded to one of my tweets.

Speaker 1 Favorite year and

Speaker 1 favorite Althea? Because I think that's your favorite song, right?

Speaker 6 Well, you know, I bought that hat after seeing you wear it.

Speaker 1 That's what you replied to. Yes, that's what you replied to.

Speaker 6 I love the Althea Told Me Hat. My favorite Althea is, I think, NASA 1980 or 81.
It's on the soundtrack for the documentary that came out on Amazon, but it is just Jerry's best solo work.

Speaker 6 He's just on another plane. And I love that one.
My favorite year, though, I'm a little jazzier, a spacier guy, like the 74-era Grateful Dead, just one drummer.

Speaker 6 And again, Jerry is the reason I listen to The Grateful Dead, along with Robert Hunter's lyrics. But yeah, that's my favorite year.
But I'll listen to anything, dude.

Speaker 1 What about you?

Speaker 6 I don't think our listeners know much about your affinity for The Grateful Dead. Same question.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I never, I obviously never saw them because I'm too young, but I did. My first concert ever was Phil Lesh and Friends at Alpine Valley when I was like 15 or 16 years old.
So

Speaker 1 had some cousins that loved them, got me into it.

Speaker 1 I'm a Brent guy through and through. So it's probably early 80s or late 80s for for like my favorite.
I'm also like a huge Jerry Garcia band guy as well. I too.

Speaker 1 Don't let go is like if someone asked me to get into it, I always start them with that, not with the Grateful Dead.

Speaker 1 I'm like, listen to Sugar Ree on Don't Let Go and tell me it's not like the sweetest guitar you've ever heard.

Speaker 6 I love Brent, that Rolex, playing the keys, and then downhill from here also, Alpine Valley, 1989. Yeah.
One of the great Grateful Dead movies.

Speaker 6 But man, we got to hang out and go to a dead and company show or something.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 How many different concerts do you guys have in your head at any given time?

Speaker 4 Like if you were to just name a city and a year between 1975 and 1990, like if I said Red Rocks 91 is my favorite show, is that a show?

Speaker 6 No, I don't think they played Red Rocks in 91. They were playing bigger arenas at that time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Red Rocks only hosts like, it's like seven. And Bob Weir just played Red Rocks this week, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that was more like Soldier Field, Nassau. Yes.

Speaker 1 Hartford City Center.

Speaker 6 They were playing like football stadiums on summer tour back then or basketball arenas in Fall Tour. So Red Rock's a little small, but to answer your question, way too many, dude.

Speaker 1 And it's also, it's great because obviously now

Speaker 1 with all, like, you can find any show. So I'll just find a show or find a year.
And just like, I've also fallen back in love. Like, I had a little phase where I fell out and now I'm back in love.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, it always kind of comes back. I don't know.
It's one of the things.

Speaker 6 It's like my safety blanket. You know, like during the pandemic, I got so into it.

Speaker 6 There's this app called Relisten where you can go listen to any show from any era on your phone uh and i would just pick they have this random function and i was just like take me away

Speaker 1 that was the best and and if if anyone's trying to get into it the amazon has an incredible documentary about it uh 100 was so good that that part about al franken talking about his favorite althea which was that's the one i love yes and that movie turned me on to it and i listened to hundreds of versions of that so i mean that's the best one but yeah that documentary i i do agree if you if you're curious about the grateful dead that is a great starting point okay so to bring it full circle, do you think it's a little weird that Grateful Dead logo has become cool in pop culture with people who I don't think listen to the band?

Speaker 1 I've actually seen a bunch of NBA players.

Speaker 1 I think I saw Devin Booker. Maybe LeBron was wearing a dancing.

Speaker 6 LeBron wore like a Jerry Bears.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I was like, no way does LeBron listen to the dead.

Speaker 4 It was like a Grateful Dead shoe that just came out recently.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But I was like, I don't think that if you asked LeBron what his favorite Alpha is, he would be able to answer it.
But maybe

Speaker 6 He was more of a Keith Gacho guy than a Brent Midland guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he liked Donna wailing. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. But yeah, it's weird.
It's weird to see that crossover. I mean, I don't hate it, but it's just funny to see.
Grow the game.

Speaker 6 Stu Gots. Stu Gotts, also a big deadheaded sports media.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize that because I saw him at the Super Bowl in Miami. I should have, damn, I should have brought that up.
All right.

Speaker 6 We'll have to go to a show, bro.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
I know.

Speaker 1 Come to New York. We'll go to

Speaker 1 City Field.

Speaker 6 Say no more. Okay.

Speaker 6 Has to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've seen Dead and Company.

Speaker 6 The Freebird solo over Althea, dude.

Speaker 1 You should actually do the Althea

Speaker 1 solo for my birthday. I'll do that.
Thank you. I'll learn it.

Speaker 4 I saw that, what was it, like a Fish concert. They went up there and they did the Freebird solo, but it was just all four of them doing it with their mouths, just like a cappella.
Yeah, they do that.

Speaker 1 Going like

Speaker 4 it was actually pretty cool because they did every note.

Speaker 1 John Fishman, the drummer for Fish, sometimes plays a vacuum as well. It's amazing.
So, yeah.

Speaker 4 I did see Dead and Company, though, when I was, I want to say, 21 years old at Nissan Pavilion in Virginia.

Speaker 4 All I remember from that show is: well, first of all, there was a guy holding a joint, smoking a joint out of chopsticks when I was walking in.

Speaker 4 He was like 70 years old, and he was like, You want to buy some brownies? And I was like, Yes, I do.

Speaker 4 And then I remember about an hour and a half later, there was a 30-minute drum solo that had wolf sound effects going on in the background.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 Where am I right now?

Speaker 1 I'm not as big of a a space guy. I usually take a piss during the drum show, I have to admit.

Speaker 6 It's the gentleman's bathroom right here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And I like good old-fashioned American rock and roll with set one and Bob Weir. I do like that as well.

Speaker 6 The best thing about space is when they come out of it, I swear to God, there's been times where I'm like, I was just old enough to see Jerry at the very end. It wasn't as fine as times, but I saw it.

Speaker 6 But I was always amazed. Like space just puts you to sleep.
And then they come out of it and you're like on another planet. Yeah.
That's the best.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, we'll have to we'll have to uh see a show together that'd be awesome thank you kirk we appreciate it that's been awesome man great to see you buddy thank you guys recurring guests see you absolutely do you have a shirt

Speaker 4 i do i have a recurring guest shirt you do so you're one of like three people that has it's like you rachel nichols who else it might just be you two uh uh spencer moss Spencer and Randy Moss.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, Blake.

Speaker 4 So five people. You're one of five that has one.
We tell everybody.

Speaker 6 And we'll get the group together at a dead show. But I also want to say you guys also gave me that tie-dye sweatshirt that Big Cat had last time I was there in 2019.

Speaker 6 And then I had the Alfea hat and there was this one day I had both of them on. I was like, wait.

Speaker 1 Hey, I look like Big Cat right. Did you dress for my pile? Yeah.

Speaker 6 But anyway, I love you guys. So congrats on everything.

Speaker 1 Love you too, Kirk.

Speaker 4 Take care, buddy.

Speaker 4 Kirk Goldsbury is brought to you by our great friends over at...

Speaker 10 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
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Speaker 4 Now here he is, Mr. Portnoy.

Speaker 4 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on the number one. Is he number one? No, Blake Bortles was.
He's the number two recurring guest of all time. He is our lawyer.
It is Mr. Portals.
Blake Bortles. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nice company.

Speaker 7 I never thought we'd be mentioned in the same sentence.

Speaker 1 Well, there it is. I want to ask you about your health and how you're doing.
But first, I want to just clarify something. When we texted

Speaker 1 to set this up,

Speaker 1 you responded, I sent you the Zoom and you said Zoom expert.

Speaker 7 I was kidding.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 7 a little sarcasm on my part, which you apparently apparently didn't pick up on.

Speaker 1 I did not. I thought maybe you had become a Zoom expert in the pandemic.

Speaker 7 Like you told me a long time ago, and I didn't know what you were saying.

Speaker 7 You were talking about parody, and I thought you were talking about parody meaning equal, and you were talking about parody being comedy.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 But I thought we were talking about things being parody that this is parody now, you know, but not this is comedy now.

Speaker 1 Right. You got it? Okay, so we're on the same page.
How is your, how are you doing? I know that you, uh, you got in a fight. You should see the other guy.
But

Speaker 1 you're doing okay?

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 This was

Speaker 7 not pleasant, trust me.

Speaker 7 I hit my face, face first,

Speaker 7 on a sidewalk cement.

Speaker 7 And people say, how did that happen?

Speaker 7 I have an idea to some extent,

Speaker 7 to some extent. I remember I was walking along along the sidewalk.
The sidewalk was, the cement on the sidewalk was raised. I remember that.
And I walked beyond it. I know I did.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 I have progressive sunglasses on, and it was

Speaker 7 dusk, I want to say.

Speaker 7 So I think what happened, and I know I walked over the first cement,

Speaker 7 a piece of cement, and I think what probably happened was that my sneaker, the heel of my sneaker might have caught in a part that I didn't see. I went down like a shot.

Speaker 7 The next thing I know,

Speaker 7 there's a place called an assisted living place.

Speaker 7 In front of it was right where I fell. Oh, no.
I'm bleeding everywhere.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 7 I ran into the assisted living. Of course, the first thing they said, you're not allowed in here.

Speaker 1 They're like, well, maybe you should be here. And they're like, what room are you? I'll get your attention.
I wasn't, again, I wasn't in the mood for any parody at that point. Right.

Speaker 7 But so when they saw me bleeding, they're okay, come on in.

Speaker 7 So without boring you with the gory details, 20 minutes later, I'm in the ambulance going to the hospital.

Speaker 7 And I'm in the hospital, and they do a lot of tests because I fell.

Speaker 7 So I was there for the better part of a day.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 I had a big, big bruise under my under my eye but fortunately that's all it was was a bruise because no blood leaked into my eye which might have been a fairly serious situation yeah so that was all right but my my eye looked like i hip got hit with a baseball bat it's much much better now

Speaker 7 but i had uh

Speaker 7 stitches on both my hands my right hand and I have a

Speaker 7 on my finger next to my pinky finger on my left hand, I got a small

Speaker 7 splint in there because there's a slight fracture in the tip of that finger.

Speaker 7 I want to tell you, because

Speaker 7 I've always been someone, even when my daughter was in college, I always remember this.

Speaker 7 I used to give them a laugh because when I walk, even I'm talking about a long time ago, I'm not someone who raises my feet maybe the way I should.

Speaker 1 I shuffle along.

Speaker 7 So so i was walking i always remember this this used to be entertainment for my kids i would walk in the dorm with sneakers on and after three seconds of walking i would start to trip because i wasn't raising my my my my legs and of course this all of these things uh

Speaker 7 you know have been a long time the only thing that came up

Speaker 7 out of all this, which maybe, I don't know, maybe it saved my life. I don't know.
They did a CAT scan on my kepi. You know what a keppie is?

Speaker 7 Tell your partner there what a keppie is. He probably doesn't know.

Speaker 1 What's a kepi?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Tell him.
It's your head, right?

Speaker 7 It's your head.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 A Yiddish word for head is keppie. Got it.
All right. So if somebody says you got a good-looking keppie, that's a compliment.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I've been wondering big ass for a while what people mean when they say that to me.

Speaker 4 Yeah. What's that? I've been wondering what people mean when they say that to me, so thank you for clearing it up.

Speaker 1 Have you heard it before?

Speaker 1 All the time. Really? Yeah.
You're paying the keppy. He's doing parody.
He's doing parody on you. Yeah.
Anyway,

Speaker 7 everything on the, and I had a whole battery of tests because I fell. The only thing that came out was the fellow that was, I guess he was the nurse practitioner.
The only thing he said to me,

Speaker 7 there's only one thing here.

Speaker 7 The thing shows you have fluid in your brain.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 7 After that, I didn't hear a word he said.

Speaker 7 I mean, that's what the hell are we talking about here? Fluid in my brain.

Speaker 7 So then I talked to my internist, I guess, a couple of days later, and he says to me, this is on a visual call.

Speaker 7 He says to me, you have a high amount of fluid in your brain. Again, I didn't hear a word he said after that.

Speaker 1 There he goes.

Speaker 7 Am I going to die?

Speaker 1 And then...

Speaker 7 Make a long story short, I'm already at his long story. I end up with talking to a neurologist at at the mass general and he didn't make it sound like uh it was such a

Speaker 7 it is not a good thing necessarily but it's not something that people don't have it doesn't mean you're on the way to uh the cemetery but you know so i'm going to have some more tests now okay

Speaker 7 and i don't i don't my and he checked my walking you know i walk fine i'm not i I walk two miles every day.

Speaker 7 So that part of it I know is not a problem. One thing I do have a problem, I'm hesitating telling you this very much because you're going to, again, make parody out of it.

Speaker 1 No, nope.

Speaker 7 So I'm working for you here.

Speaker 7 I have, and you can ask Smitty about this, cousin Smitty from my ex-show. He knows all about this.

Speaker 7 One of the tests they give you, the neurologists, maybe you've taken this test. You guys are too young.

Speaker 7 They say to you, when you first hook up with the neurologist, I'm going to ask you to remember, I think it's three or four words, and then we're going to talk a little bit.

Speaker 7 And as we talk, a few minutes later, I'm going to ask you to repeat those words, okay?

Speaker 7 I've done it during a physical,

Speaker 7 the first couple of times, maybe the first time I did that test, I flunked it big time.

Speaker 7 The second time, I think I had to do it, I found out a way to gain the system and I passed the test. This time,

Speaker 7 I am so, there's another word, flump, I don't know,

Speaker 7 submit, submit.

Speaker 7 I mean, I am nervous about what the hell is going on here

Speaker 7 and i flunked it again this time i mean i didn't you know i i just didn't i wasn't with it you know what i mean i got this is bothering the other thing they ask you to do which i flunk miserably uh and this has all to do with your

Speaker 7 memory abilities all right you guys are probably a one you're young I was probably not A1 when I was young. You got to draw a clock.

Speaker 7 And you got to draw 12 and 6 and the numbers and then the neurologist will say to you point to 415.

Speaker 7 flunk that terribly number one because i'm a terrible artist i can't even draw the clock let alone pointing out where the numbers are you agree i got some issues i'm not that i i got some memory related issues i when i when we were on the show with smitty and he was the right he was getting a laugh i wasn't doing this for his entertainment but i got to a point where i had a list of words that I would not remember when we were, when I was on with him, I had to write them down so that

Speaker 7 I would get them. And now for some of these words, I have little tricks that I use to remember the words.
The thing that happens is that

Speaker 7 the thing that happens is this is scary. I'll remember the word and then a few minutes later, I can't remember the word.
So it's not good. I'm not dying, but am I going to have Alzheimer's next week?

Speaker 7 I hope not. But I mean you guys aren't laughing because it's not funny.

Speaker 1 No, I was worried about you. When I heard that you fell, I was genuinely worried about you.

Speaker 1 Can we give you three words right now? No.

Speaker 1 Let's try it. Let's try it.
We'll make it easy. Yeah, we'll make it easy.

Speaker 4 First one, Uber.

Speaker 1 Okay. Second one,

Speaker 1 Patriots. Third one,

Speaker 4 Chatterhead.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 7 Uber, Patriots, Chatterhead. But you understand

Speaker 7 that that's not what the test is.

Speaker 1 Well, no, this is our test.

Speaker 4 We're going to ask you later.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to ask you later. No, no, I know.

Speaker 7 No, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 1 Why? I'm not.

Speaker 7 Look at, I'm not doing that. I'm telling you, I am not doing that.
Okay. And I'm telling you why I'm not doing that.
You're doing it so you can get some entertainment.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yes, you are. No.
Laughter is the best medicine, Mr.

Speaker 4 Portno. We're trying to make you feel better.

Speaker 7 It won't make me feel better because I'm going to fund the freaking test again. I'm not doing it again.
That is not going to make me feel better.

Speaker 1 What were the three words?

Speaker 7 Uber.

Speaker 1 See, I already forgot.

Speaker 7 Uber, Patriots,

Speaker 7 Chowder.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 1 They gave me kind of a broad hint there. No idea.
Whispering Chada. No, no.
Are you hearing voices? No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't say anything. You got that.

Speaker 1 No, you gave me a little hint there.

Speaker 4 From a physical standpoint, like not just mentally, but like physically, how are you feeling though? Are you sore?

Speaker 7 No, not really.

Speaker 7 This is the biggest problem that came out of this, which I kind of knew would exist. I'll tell you, it's a crazy thing.
I actually, I have a

Speaker 7 Bosto sweatshirt. I think it's a champion sweatshirt.
Maybe it is, maybe, I don't know. When you put it on on the label, it says authentic on it.
Okay.

Speaker 7 One of the words I was trying to remember was the word authentic. because I had bet on a horse years, a few years ago that ran in the Kentucky Derby that was called authentic.

Speaker 7 I couldn't for the life of me remember the name of that freaking horse. But now that I have that little thing in my cuckoo brain, I get it more often than not.

Speaker 7 But I could forget that word five minutes from now and I would get it back, but I would forget it. All right.
So you're going to ask me, Chowda, Uber,

Speaker 7 and what was the other one?

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. I forget it.

Speaker 1 Good. Yeah.
See, you're fine. Wait, but here's, I'm going to do a spin zone for you.
It sounds like you never learned how to properly walk.

Speaker 1 So the fact that you made it this long before falling is actually a credit to your athleticism.

Speaker 7 I want to tell you, of all these problems, the one that I'm least concerned about is the walking. I'll tell you, years ago,

Speaker 7 I'm talking about a number of years ago, when David was starting to date Renee, that's how I can remember around the time frame. He was with me and my wife walking on Beacon Street in

Speaker 7 Brookline.

Speaker 7 And yeah, I've occasionally tripped and I did trip and fall. And it was like in slow motion.
If you've ever done this, sometimes it's a very slow thing. And that was in slow motion.
And

Speaker 7 a guy who I think and my family, it was dead quiet. They didn't know whether to laugh or cry when this happened.
It was all in slow motion. They're not saying a word.

Speaker 7 A Japanese, I think it was Japanese, guy walks by me.

Speaker 1 He was the only one that helped me get up. They just stared at me.
They didn't know what to do.

Speaker 7 And what do you think David Portnoy did? Immediately, immediately picked up his cell phone and called Renee.

Speaker 1 You missed this.

Speaker 7 And that's my son.

Speaker 7 And she was so upset that she didn't see it.

Speaker 1 No, how was I?

Speaker 1 Oh, I missed this.

Speaker 1 I can't believe I missed it. He fell.

Speaker 7 Yeah. So shout out Patriots.

Speaker 1 and what the hell was the Uber.

Speaker 1 Uber. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 7 Two out of three isn't bad.

Speaker 4 No, I think you've gotten two out of three every time, but they've been different ones each time. Yeah.
So you do remember all three of them.

Speaker 7 Well, you know what it is? I'm in a stage now where I'm so uptight about this.

Speaker 7 It's like I knew when I was talking to the doctor the other day and I flunked this. I knew I was going to flunk it before I even started.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 You're psyching yourself out about it. Huh? You're psyching yourself out.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Well, I'm nervous about it.

Speaker 7 You We're nervous. It sounds ridiculous.
You probably can't even relate to this.

Speaker 1 No, I get it. No, I think the skate, like,

Speaker 1 obviously it's a little different, you know, getting older versus maybe an injury, but I've always said, you know, I've broken bones playing sports and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 The worst part is not like the physical pain. It's the mental pain of like, shit, now I have to like deal with this.
And this, you psych yourself out. It's, it's, it sucks.
I know what you're saying.

Speaker 7 And this, and this is really, you got to understand, this is a little worse than if you broke your hand right which you did which you did do right yeah i well i yeah i fractured a uh the tip of my the finger and one finger but believe me believe me that is not what is weighing on me right now other than chada uber

Speaker 1 and and patriots

Speaker 1 yeah you got this

Speaker 1 you got this you know what it is

Speaker 7 I'm very relaxed right now. I enjoy talking to you guys.
I'm I'm relaxed, but I'm also under pressure because I know I'm going to have to do this one more time before we leave, and I probably won't.

Speaker 7 But you overchow patriots.

Speaker 1 You're growing right now.

Speaker 4 You look happy and healthy.

Speaker 7 Because I just got it right.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
All right. So what

Speaker 1 that seems like probably the biggest thing going on in your life right now. But are there any other smaller complaints or issues that we can help solve or talk through?

Speaker 7 You know what? I'll tell you, this is a function. Have you ever bought, went in to buy an automobile?

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.

Speaker 7 I've bought many through my years.

Speaker 7 In fact, I just bought one about two hours ago.

Speaker 1 Whoa, what'd you buy?

Speaker 7 I bought a Mazda.

Speaker 1 I drive a Mazda.

Speaker 1 There's a shortage of new cars going on right now.

Speaker 7 I have, but unfortunately, I'm turning in a car that I loved. which was a BMW, 2002 BMW convertible.

Speaker 7 But as I said to the guy, and the car was pristine, but I said to the guy that's been fixing it, I went in there and said, our partnership is over. I can't do this anymore.

Speaker 7 Because it seems like every other day I walk in there and I just give them a blank check and I just can't take it anymore.

Speaker 7 The car's a 2002, it's only got 100,000 miles on it, but I just can't do it anymore. So it owes me nothing.
The car is in pristine condition.

Speaker 7 They'll put it in the auction and they'll sell it immediately because it's beautiful. But what are you going to do?

Speaker 7 Anyway, the reason I brought that up, I've been buying cars all my life, all my life. The car dealerships have never changed.
They advertise what they do, but it's all bullshit.

Speaker 7 I went in to look at a Honda the other day.

Speaker 7 So this guy comes out who naturally, I had my regalia on. I didn't mention a Patriots or Charter or Uber,

Speaker 7 but

Speaker 7 I had something that said, Boston, oh, I'm a big fan, blah, blah, blah. And the first thing he says to me, I've only been working here three days.

Speaker 7 Would you buy a car from someone that had been working there three days?

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because that guy is not going to be as good at negotiating as the guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're wrong.

Speaker 1 You're wrong.

Speaker 7 You're wrong. He is not capable of negotiating with you.
He is only capable of doing

Speaker 7 what the manager tells him to do.

Speaker 7 I asked him, do you have a business card?

Speaker 7 He was gone for 35 minutes trying to get a business card talking to the to the manager uh that this you know the sales manager and came back and had to write his information on the back of the card because they had no printed card for him.

Speaker 7 And you know, everybody in that showroom was

Speaker 7 maybe they were males mostly, I would say 98%, 22 years old, maybe.

Speaker 7 They have no idea what they're doing. None.
All right. So as I leave this kid, I tell him, you know, if I'm interested, I'll get back to etc.

Speaker 7 When I get in the car to drive away, the first thing going through my mind was not Uber, Patriots, or Charter.

Speaker 1 I'm doing pretty good. Yeah, you are.

Speaker 7 You know something? I'm feeling very good about this because this is the best I've done in a while.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 7 But don't call me back next week to do it.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 Anyway, anyway, so I'm thinking to myself, how fast is the is the service manager sales manager going to call me on on my cell phone?

Speaker 7 13 seconds he called me this is this is the you know something the one thing in this world i know i could do and if you ever saw larry larry david did a hilarious episode on this when he wanted to become a car salesman and i that episode was one of the funniest because so many things he did in that episode That was me.

Speaker 7 That's what I always thought. I really believe if I went into one of these dealerships, not so much that I could sell cars, but I could show them what the fuck is wrong with what you're doing.

Speaker 7 But, you know, the other side of the coin is today,

Speaker 7 the customers are not people my age, certainly not at a Mazda dealer. You go on a Mercedes dealer or a BMW dealer, it's a whole different vibe most of the time.
But it's a real, I don't know what the

Speaker 7 correct word is. It's not Mazda.
charter or patriots. I'm very impressed with myself.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 7 it is, you can just see it's a damn, you can see the difference in the demographic and way the way this particular business community views their customers. You can really see it because

Speaker 7 the tree, it's fascinating. I have always found it fascinating.
And that's what that's. So that's not really a complaint.
It's an observation.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 4 So, what was your decision? How did you end up making the choice of where to buy your car?

Speaker 7 I went, you know, the truth is I went in there and it was much more of a low-key operation. All right.
I didn't feel any pressure. You know, what are you, are you going to buy the car today?

Speaker 7 It's just one of their taglines. Are you going to buy it today? None of that.
It was a much lower thing. I had already pretty much knew the car that I wanted.
This is a different world.

Speaker 7 You can go on the internet. You can see what these cars are, and you can really have a pretty good idea.
Not 100%. But I'm someone that would never in a million years.
You know what this Cavana is?

Speaker 7 You hear that advertised? They deliver a car to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It could come from anywhere. In a million years, 10 million years, I wouldn't buy an automobile that I get in, especially not talking about a new car.
We're talking about a used car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to drive it. You didn't get to see it.

Speaker 4 You got to drive. You got to smell it.

Speaker 1 You got to do a three-second. It feels like you got to get your hands on it.

Speaker 4 You got to drive past like a reflective mirror type glass and look at yourself in the car.

Speaker 1 You look, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Well, ever since I was drinking some chowder and I knew about the Patriots and Uber, Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Yeah.
I'm so happy.

Speaker 1 This is the happiest I've ever been. Let's go.

Speaker 1 You didn't want to do it.

Speaker 4 You didn't want to do this. And look at you.

Speaker 1 You're not going yet. You're going to get me.
Well, I got to say one thing, Mr. Porter, because you are going to yell at me afterwards.
Can you back up just a little bit?

Speaker 1 You're going to get mad at me because you're. Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, there you go. I touched him back.

Speaker 1 No, you're going to get mad at me. when you see the clips and it's just half of it.
It's just half your face.

Speaker 7 When you said back up, I thought you wanted me to repeat.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So that's good.
I mean, it feels like, all right, this is a good, like, we're boosting you back up. This is, yes, this is dudes lifting dudes.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I want to also tell you before I forget, if you knew the number of people that, you know, they, they'll that know who I am for one reason when I'm out. You know what they always ask me?

Speaker 7 I miss you not being unpardoned by tech.

Speaker 1 That's the truth. Yeah.
We miss you. It took a long time.
I know. Well, you had your serious show.
It got canceled because of poor poor reviews. So we wanted to.

Speaker 7 My son was right about that.

Speaker 7 Partially right.

Speaker 7 I do miss doing it. He said he was afraid that if I lost it, I would kill myself.

Speaker 1 And he wasn't going to let that happen. But he kind of reneged on that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 7 I'm still alive, at least temporarily, except now I'm dealing with Chada, Uber, and Patriots. I am doing these.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I keep killing it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the bag wasn't big enough from Sirius for Dave to keep you alive. Yeah.

Speaker 4 it wasn't enough money from Sirius. So Dave was like, you know what? If he offs himself, he offs himself.
Have you found a way to scratch that itch, though?

Speaker 4 Have you like, are you still calling your cousin every morning and doing a radio show between the two of you?

Speaker 7 Unfortunately, and I wanted to mention this too:

Speaker 7 is the problems I've had medically, he's had a bypass.

Speaker 1 Oh, a high pass.

Speaker 7 And he's got some issues that he's dealing with now. He's going to be okay,

Speaker 7 but he, this almost sounds funny.

Speaker 7 He had the operation, I want to say maybe

Speaker 7 two, three weeks or maybe, I don't remember exactly. You could send him to get Wilwish.
He, right now, he has to in the car.

Speaker 7 He has to sit in the back seat because they're worried that the incision could come out. Right.
And that wouldn't be good.

Speaker 7 So he would love to hear from you guys.

Speaker 4 Okay. Thoughts and prayers.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shout out, Cousin Murray. Shout out, Max B.

Speaker 7 Max B. Max B is doing very well.
Getting, I can't believe he's 10 years old. Wow.
And he's got some athletic ability, which I saw early in my son, and I see it in him.

Speaker 7 And, you know, with COVID, we haven't been able, you know, we always went with Dave, always went to the games from an early on, early age. Haven't been able to do it with my grandson.

Speaker 1 Well, did you ever coach Mr. Pornoy?

Speaker 1 Way back when, you mean? Yeah. Now? No, way back when.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. I coached the Little League team.
And

Speaker 7 that was really the end of it. I didn't do anything beyond that, but I did coach.
As I remember, it was the Red Sox. And

Speaker 7 we used to go out for Charlotte. We'd take an Uber and go watch the Patriots.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 1 That actually, that's crazy that Max B is 10 because when you first came on the show, he was five years old. I think you were like

Speaker 4 picking him up from the bus stop. Yeah, you got for kindergarten.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were one of our first guests. We do miss you.
You're welcome to come on. I have you on more.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'd like to tell you, I'm very busy. I've just, right now, I have to do for the first time in quite a while, I'm doing some legal work.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I'm always available. Let's put it that way.
Who are you suing? Are you suing that sidewalk?

Speaker 4 You know something?

Speaker 7 Oh, this is what I didn't tell you about that.

Speaker 7 They

Speaker 7 went back to the scene of the... crime.
I didn't take an Uber there.

Speaker 7 And the Patriots weren't on, and I hadn't had any child. I am doing great.

Speaker 7 Anyway, so we, I wish my my doctor saw this now they you know something now they're gonna i'm gonna i have to go for an mri on my keppie which because of i flunked that test maybe could we send this as yes yes

Speaker 1 yes

Speaker 7 anyway so i went back to the scene of the crime And the police came down when this happened because it just so happens very close to the police station where it happened. So they were there.

Speaker 7 The DPW

Speaker 7 marked the area with

Speaker 7 red ink. There was a plant, a tree that they had remulched, a young tree.
They marked where the cement was with a red border and a big X on it.

Speaker 7 I'm sure if I had seen that, maybe I wouldn't have fallen.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Plus, it was very interesting.

Speaker 7 I saw my dried blood on the side of drops.

Speaker 7 So the whole thing, you know, but as far as suing them, that's a waste waste of time.

Speaker 4 Maybe, well, since you already admitted on this podcast that you've never lifted up your feet when you walk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that's probably some time.

Speaker 7 But even if I had, even if, even if I had an argument that I wasn't, you know, that I was doing very well walking, et cetera, very, very difficult to sue a town in that situation where I live,

Speaker 7 which is a fairly nice area. The sidewalks are in abominable condition.
I mean, the streets, not bad, but the sidewalks are terrible.

Speaker 1 Terrible.

Speaker 4 I've got a question for you. Maybe some legal advice that we could use some help with.
So we've recently come under fire for the alleged bullying of the reigning U.S.

Speaker 4 Open Asterix champion, Bryson DeChambeau, because people are yelling, Let's go, Brooksy, at him, after he hits a shot, and then he'll kick them out.

Speaker 4 Can we be held legally liable for any damage done to Bryson's brain

Speaker 1 for mental harm or brain? I'm only worried about my brain.

Speaker 7 I think, you know, it's like any case that there's that, I think it's a weak case that he has.

Speaker 7 I think that

Speaker 7 to link what you did, let's just for the sake of argument, say that there was, I know I've always told you guys, when you talk about

Speaker 7 an int, this would be an intentional tort, say, that's an intentional, not a criminal wrong, but you did something intentionally to upset him, okay?

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 to cause him

Speaker 7 mental anguish.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 7 And then you did, and probably true, that probably is why you did it. But the other part of all these stories is, which I'm sure I've told you many times, how does he prove his damages?

Speaker 7 How does he prove his damages? Does he go and see a doctor and say, doctor, because of these assholes at pardon my take,

Speaker 7 I'm not, I can't play anymore. I've lost endorsements.
Nobody wants, I think maybe you ought to look to Brooks Kepler before he talks to you because that seems to be, you know, something I,

Speaker 7 that idea that my son had of having

Speaker 7 him taddy when David does that thing with Brooks Kepka, that is such a

Speaker 7 brilliant idea. He'll never do it.
I'm sure he'll never do it.

Speaker 1 Wait, but is it?

Speaker 4 Is Kepka Yiddish for head?

Speaker 7 It's close.

Speaker 1 Close.

Speaker 7 I don't know. You know, something if you think about it, they both have odd first names, don't they?

Speaker 1 Brooks and Bryson.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I mean, that's not common names. I mean, Bryson.

Speaker 7 I don't think Brooks really is.

Speaker 4 No, definitely not. I had a question about your son.
So your son's been posting a lot of videos recently of him playing youth sports all the way up through high school.

Speaker 4 The videos that he posts, they're very flattering of him.

Speaker 1 Is your recollection

Speaker 4 the same? Like, was Dave a great athlete growing up?

Speaker 7 He was very good. And what he was,

Speaker 7 which, you know, you talk on baseball, I don't care how good you are. You could be, there's got to be more than one good player on the team.
All right.

Speaker 7 And he was with a group of people that were good players. He wasn't the best one on that team.

Speaker 1 There were a couple of people that were.

Speaker 7 One kid, I don't know if you know Peter, you might have met him. He worked for MLB.

Speaker 7 He was an exceptional athlete and got a lot of awards. Relative to David, I'll tell you something.

Speaker 7 And it's gone now, but this is what my grandson has now:

Speaker 7 speed. When David was younger, he had speed.
And you know that expression in sports: speed kills. You can't teach somebody to be fast.
My grandson has it. David had it no longer, obviously.

Speaker 1 Let's get out of it. But yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to come to call.

Speaker 7 No, I got it.

Speaker 1 I got it. All right.
Well, Mr. Portnoy, let's.

Speaker 1 Wait. He just hung up.
That was it.

Speaker 4 That was it. All right.
That was Mr. Portnoy.

Speaker 1 I think he nailed the, he would have gotten Uber, Chowder, and Patriots. Absolutely.
Absolutely. I think that's it.
We just healed him. Yeah.
You don't want to tell him to join again?

Speaker 1 I think that's a real thing. I think that was a real signup.
Yeah, that was the perfect sign-up.

Speaker 1 I'll call him right now. We'll follow up.
I'll tell him thanks for coming on, and we'll have him on again.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's Mr. Portnoy.

Speaker 4 Do you have to ask him the realback question?

Speaker 1 No, I don't. So we're good.

Speaker 1 Hey, so we'll end it there, but can you just give us three words real quick?

Speaker 11 Uber, Zoom, Patriots. How about that?

Speaker 1 Uber? No.

Speaker 1 Chowder? Hold on. Hold on.

Speaker 11 Wait a minute.

Speaker 11 Uber, chowder, Patriots. What did I miss?

Speaker 1 You said Zoom instead of chowder because you were thinking about going back on Zoom.

Speaker 4 Looking at the Zoom.

Speaker 11 That's understandable.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I get a pass on that. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you were looking at the Zoom to try to get back on. But

Speaker 1 we'll talk to you soon.

Speaker 11 Wait a minute.

Speaker 11 What cheers?

Speaker 11 Uber,

Speaker 11 Patriots, Chowder.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Nailed it.
All right. Great show.

Speaker 11 Are you going to report that on the air? I want that report.

Speaker 1 I'm recording it right now. I'm recording it right now.
We're still recording. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Jake, can you actually blog this? Yes.

Speaker 1 Mr. Portnoy Aces.
He's back.

Speaker 4 He's back. Mental exam.
All right.

Speaker 1 We'll talk soon, though. We'll have you on soon again, okay?

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
Talk to you later.

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Speaker 1 All right, let's wrap up. We got Fire Fest of the week.
Also, we got some great, great, great interviews coming up. Next week is going to be packed.
Bobby Valentine on Monday is awesome.

Speaker 1 We already taped it. It's fucking awesome.
Yeah. Yeah, it really is.
We went one, two, right out of the gate. Rap question,

Speaker 1 mustache in the dugout question.

Speaker 4 It honestly felt like somebody that we were talking, that we've been great friends with for 30 years.

Speaker 1 And we're going to maybe be working on his campaign. You never know.

Speaker 1 Hank, you know what my Fire Fest is? You didn't yawn in the mic for the people. Yeah, I'm waiting till the end.

Speaker 1 Oh, you have them? Are you eating them? I've been eating them.

Speaker 1 Oh, you just ate one.

Speaker 1 You just ate one. No, I can't.
Like, I can't. I can't do it on command.

Speaker 4 All right. Stop.

Speaker 1 My firefest of the week is that I had an opportunity to go to game six of the Islanders game, but I decided to save my money because I was going to buy tickets to game seven in Boston and go home, watch the Bruins win in seven at home.

Speaker 1 And that didn't happen, and I didn't get to go to a game with the Coliseum. So that was a mistake.
That's mistake. And a Fire Fest.
And my beloved Bruins are now kicked out of the playoffs.

Speaker 1 But you did make the right choice because you would have watched a loss. Right.
And spent money on a loss. But cool atmosphere.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Maybe could have been able to write that off in my own mind. Collie.
What?

Speaker 4 Just a trip home.

Speaker 1 Get to

Speaker 4 get down to the spit, chuck some nucks. Gaspers.

Speaker 1 I appreciate what you just did, Hank, because that is the all-time. Everyone does that.
He didn't say, write that off on my taxes, write that off on my budget. No, write that off on my own mind.

Speaker 1 And that is so true when you're like, all right, I wasted money on this, but yeah, well, well, you know, spent $300 at the bar. I didn't, I, well, I didn't go out all of COVID.
Right.

Speaker 4 And also, Hank, you can keep that in your back pocket as an example of a vacation that you didn't take.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I miss those days of like in college where it's like, all right, I don't have a lot of money.
I'm going to go big tonight, and then I'm not going to go out on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 And that's how I budget.

Speaker 4 Oh, I mean, like, if you got sick on a weekend in college, it's like you look back on that, you're like, that honestly probably saved me $400. Free money.

Speaker 1 Free money. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 I wish I got sick more often on Fridays.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was...

Speaker 1 Oh, my boy.

Speaker 1 Sorry for everyone who's yawning now in their car, on their commute.

Speaker 1 All right, good Fire Fest, Hank. Thanks.
Is it, Hank? That's it.

Speaker 4 All right. My Fire Fest is

Speaker 1 the...

Speaker 4 pretend girlfriend that I never had is now trying to sleep with everybody else on this podcast. Yeah, I woke up to that.
So that's a shame.

Speaker 4 She She got mad at me because she saw the video that Bubba put out where I just I said she's a friend and a professional and a respected journalist and all of the above.

Speaker 1 She's just gonna fuck you harder.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well now she's like she hosts the Joe Rogan podcast.

Speaker 1 She does.

Speaker 4 She's one she's a media mogul, Hank.

Speaker 4 She's not just a podcast host either. She is multi-dimensional.

Speaker 4 She does videos that she gets paid for. And she's

Speaker 4 now she's mad at me because I said that we're just friends. So she's lashing out.

Speaker 4 She wants to sleep with the entire entire podcast right now, which means that part of my take is going to be even more successful based on her past. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So a girl that I was never dating broke up with me.

Speaker 1 Brutal. It's tough.
Sorry for your loss.

Speaker 4 But she also DM'd me to apologize later and called me daddy again. So who knows? Just do it, PFC.
Who knows? Just go down there. Who knows? Just get it.

Speaker 1 Get it over with.

Speaker 1 I don't want to force it.

Speaker 1 I can't force it.

Speaker 1 It's like there, but it's not, you know.

Speaker 1 Trying to get you to yawn. Now I'm yawning.
Now I got yawns up my. Oh.

Speaker 1 You're scaring me. You're scaring my yawns.
Just do it. Just do it.
I'll pretend that your yawns aren't here. I'll just pretend they're not in the room.
All right. My fire fest is.

Speaker 1 I am officially

Speaker 1 with two kids. Now I think I'm just officially going to miss some things.
So it happened to be on Sunday night when I came in and you guys were like, hey, you guys see Trump pants?

Speaker 1 And I legitimately had not seen a single tweet about it. Yeah.
I just missed the whole thing. Like, I just missed it.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it was what I was doing, but then I realized I have to just come to grips with the fact that there are certain things. Also happened with the Tommy Cheese Balls video when he

Speaker 1 rudely said that our friend Rico Bosco has a dicky do. Stop.
What's a dicky-do? It's when your stomach's so big you can't see your dickie-doo.

Speaker 4 I think it's your stomach sticks out farther than your dicky doo.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 1 But I missed that. So guess what? I'm just going to be the miss-it guy.
I'm going to be, I mean, it also happened with Corey Davis.

Speaker 1 People told us, which I'm not going to blame anyone else in this room, but no one said, hey, he's not on the Titans anymore. But I'm just going to miss some stuff.
Hand up.

Speaker 1 This is my pre-warning that, you know, like when I'm like, hey, I just missed that whole thing.

Speaker 1 I literally just missed the whole thing. I had no, not even an inkling of the Trump pants when you guys were talking about it.

Speaker 4 Dude, it's actually a blessing for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a great excuse. It's memory holding.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Listen, 90% of the stuff that I learn about on a day-to-day basis is stuff that actively makes me dumber to know.

Speaker 4 Like when I saw the Trump pants, I was like, all right, so some people are saying that he's wearing his pants backwards. Some people are saying that he didn't iron his pants correctly.

Speaker 4 Some people are roasting me saying that they look like my Capital's pants. And then six hours later, I had completely forgotten about it.
It just took up valuable. You know what?

Speaker 4 His pants were living rent-free in my head.

Speaker 4 Right now, big cat, your head is like no vacancy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not all full, baby. Like when you watch eight hours of Case Anthony videos seven years later.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I did get really into the. That's just the criminal interrogation series on YouTube, which

Speaker 4 the fucking algorithm absolutely nailed me on that one. That's right, true.

Speaker 1 She is kind of

Speaker 1 funky. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm more attracted to how good of a liar she is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When she's like, you're trying to do her personality.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 She's like, well, in a crazy way, she's like,

Speaker 4 I work at Universal Studios. She doesn't.
And then she led the detectives into an office building. Hank?

Speaker 4 Hank? Was that a yawn?

Speaker 4 She takes him to the end of the office building, and she's like,

Speaker 4 Yeah, I got to be honest. I don't actually work here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, to me, that she's cool.

Speaker 1 I do think, yeah, it probably is for the better overall just for, like, hey, you missed a couple things. You don't need to see everything online.

Speaker 1 But it was jarring because it was like, it was almost like being concussed and being like, oh, I forgot we had time travel. You should see what happens when you take a vacation, Big Cat.
It's crazy.

Speaker 4 Well, no, you've been liking a lot of live sports.

Speaker 1 We actually, a couple of us are what?

Speaker 4 Hanks. We've been smashing that like button.

Speaker 1 Oh, I did like your like of the Dave Portroy's Mean to Interns treat.

Speaker 1 That person showed up just today. Just because I had to go through some stuff doesn't mean other people should.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shout out all of our interns. They're trying hard.

Speaker 1 They're doing it.

Speaker 1 The voice for the voiceless.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you made the world a better place that's right you built something better for for the people who come after you right that's actually a very admirable thing to do for hank thank you i almost called you frank i don't know why all right jake

Speaker 1 would you just fucking dominate all week again

Speaker 1 no it was actually part of my sweep today me hank and pft all one yeah no you dominate all week that's what i'm saying I mean, so did they.

Speaker 5 They actually put out more convincing performances than me.

Speaker 1 They deserve more credit than I did. Stop it, Jake.

Speaker 4 You're doing double sportsmanship again.

Speaker 5 It started off as a a true fire fest until a few hours ago. It was resolved.
But backstory, on the last episode, I had the reminder in a couple of weeks of you guys having to suck your own

Speaker 5 private parts.

Speaker 5 And I had been doing research the last two days trying to figure out where that originated.

Speaker 5 We have our answer. Thanks from

Speaker 5 Chris from upstairs. He works upstairs.
He emailed me. And you go back to the January 27th episode.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Where are we? And Jake, make sure you put this in there.

Speaker 1 Give Give us a reminder that we need to make a video sucking our own dicks before the Takey Awards this year and how important it is. The weight of history is in our hands.
MLB Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 Tom Verducci.

Speaker 1 Yep. All right, so we'll do it.
So for the first time, that's good. Yeah, yeah, we'll do it.

Speaker 5 So it was a Fire Fest trying to figure it out, but now

Speaker 1 that video was,

Speaker 1 yeah. Okay.
Good. All right.
Good job, Jake.

Speaker 4 Wait, that was the one where Tom Verducci was in his study.

Speaker 1 Sunlit studies. Yeah.
I watched it and I've never laughed harder at something that was trying to be so, so serious.

Speaker 1 What are you laughing at?

Speaker 1 Liam. Stop.

Speaker 1 You're ADD, big guy today. Like, focus.
I'm not afraid of the podcast. I want a yawn.
I'm also curious.

Speaker 1 We're not

Speaker 1 yawn until we get a yawn.

Speaker 4 You can't force it out of me. Jake,

Speaker 4 what were you Googling to try to figure out when we talked about sucking her own dicks?

Speaker 1 Yeah, did you see our dick? Pretty much what you did. Did you see any cocks?

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 5 Shout out to Chris. He

Speaker 1 that is a huge shout-out. All right, so we will make a

Speaker 4 deep-throating ourselves.

Speaker 4 Throat goat. We're going to have to hit up AJ Teddy's for some advice.

Speaker 1 Brat.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Dude, out of sight, out of mind. As a bro to a bro, we've got to get you over this breakup.

Speaker 4 I'm down bad right now, big cat.

Speaker 1 By the way. We got to get you over this breakup.

Speaker 4 I have a serious question.

Speaker 1 As dudes,

Speaker 4 are we not posting enough of our own dubs?

Speaker 1 We should. We should post.

Speaker 1 That accounts posting dubs. Yeah, the account, Dudes Posting Dubs, is a great account.

Speaker 4 We should post more dubs as dudes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree. We got to post each other's dubs.

Speaker 1 We got to dub each other up. Hank, good job at ping-pong today.
Thanks. You needed a dub.
You got one.

Speaker 1 There you go. Sweep? Sweep.

Speaker 4 Hank, are you going to play against Jake soon?

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the tournament, I'm going to win. I'm going to win the whole tournament.
Yeah, you are. I'll be the best in the office.
You are going to be the best in the office.

Speaker 4 Hank's going to schedule Jake against every other top seed on his side of the bracket.

Speaker 1 He's going to be in the in. Listen,

Speaker 1 there's a big, massive contingency of people doing the scheduling. I'm just a small part of it.
Sure. Yeah.
Yeah. The group of decks.

Speaker 4 You're small, wait, a small notch in the conveyor belt. Is that what you said?

Speaker 1 Yep. 54.
Give me an 89. Give me an 99.
73. 18.

Speaker 5 67, 92 out of play.

Speaker 1 So you have a 1 in 97 shot today because

Speaker 5 B word has 69.

Speaker 1 No, 69 is in there as 100, remember? Ooh, unlucky. 13 does not qualify.
Does not count. 13 does not qualify.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Anyone who had 13, you got robbed.

Speaker 1 47.

Speaker 1 I feel like that happened like last week.

Speaker 4 We've had 47 before we go.

Speaker 5 47 now joins 52 and 84 in a 5p category.

Speaker 1 I believe.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 4 Is 47 bad for lottery balls?

Speaker 1 Wait, did we have 47 like last week?

Speaker 5 47's last appearance was

Speaker 5 May 6th, a month ago.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 4 Love you guys. Got a fact.
Wait, wait. Yeah, give me a journalism fact.
Journalism fact.

Speaker 1 Bobby Valentine on Monday.

Speaker 5 Awesome interview. There are two different kinds of a microphone.
A condenser, which is used for studio recording and radio, like we're using right now.

Speaker 5 And dynamic, it's for live performances and speaking, like the metal silver round one.

Speaker 4 Very cool, Jake. Yeah, love you.

Speaker 1 Very cool.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say.

Speaker 1 Say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today isn't my birthday.

Speaker 1 Turn falling.

Speaker 1 Shine it away.

Speaker 1 Off and come and move up.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm all designed.

Speaker 1 Smell and learning the files okay.

Speaker 1 Stay after me.

Speaker 1 Let's look better to save the song.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over. old.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it old.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it old.

Speaker 1 the life of this is the flame of the memories away.

Speaker 1 There are all things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 Shy and away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 Umber.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it over.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna call it Opa.