Pete Prisco On Tebow, Baffert Excuse Bingo + Mason Gordon The Inventor Of Slamball

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Speaker 3 On today's part of my take, we have a two-fer for the people. We have Pete Prisco, our good friend,

Speaker 3 NFL writer, Florida resident, Tebow Film Watcher. Film watcher,

Speaker 3 blocker on Twitter, Tebow hater. So we're going to break down.
He covered Tim Tebow in his college days. He's obviously a Jacksonville native or a resident.
So he is going to cover Tebow now.

Speaker 3 So we have him on to talk about Tim Tebow. We have the inventor of Slam Ball, a little bit of different interview, kind of cool.
Slam ball is going to be back. We're trying to ride that wave.

Speaker 3 We also have some Bob Baffer cleanup, some NBA talks, some hot seat cool throne, and we're going to finish with FAQs and some listener-submitted, nut-tapping retirement stories after Monday's show.

Speaker 3 And we brought that up. Before we do all of that,

Speaker 5 when Cool Creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 2 At participating, McDonald's

Speaker 2 violence,

Speaker 2 and then a lot of some work to be done.

Speaker 2 No place behind a lot of washing.

Speaker 2 And then I can't blame all of the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elay Trick Ivanu.

Speaker 2 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elay Trick Avenue.

Speaker 3 It's part of my take presented by a bar stool sports.

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Speaker 3 Today is Wednesday, May 12th, and Bob Baffert has finally admitted that he was set up by his veterinarian.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah. So he admitted that there was steroids in the medication that was given to the horse, but he didn't intentionally know know that.

Speaker 4 He actually pulled, it's very funny, he pulled the old excuse that you hear in the NFL all the time. Like, I took a supplement at the advice of one of my trainers,

Speaker 4 not realizing what was in it. I should have done better work in figuring out exactly what the molecular compound was that I was putting in my system, but it was prescribed to me.

Speaker 4 I did not know that I was doing that.

Speaker 3 The guy at GNC gave me the protein shake. I had no idea.
that it could have steroids in it. That's pretty much what he said.
This was, by the way, on Monday.

Speaker 3 We obviously don't do a show on Monday night, but Bob Baffert went back to the excuse bingo card. And

Speaker 3 I know that there's going to be a lot of people who hate Bob Baffert. I have fallen in love with Bob Baffert because he essentially just said, I'm just going to keep going with the excuses.

Speaker 3 I'm going to flood the zone.

Speaker 3 I'm a pitcher who doesn't have a great fastball, but if I can just throw strikes and get some ground balls, I might get myself out of it. He went with,

Speaker 3 there was a barn worker who was taking cough medicine and peed on the hay, and then Medina's spirit ate the hay.

Speaker 4 It's very confusing when they refer to the barn worker because they call it a groom.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 The groom was drinking cough syrup and peed on the hay,

Speaker 4 which contained drugs. Correct.

Speaker 3 He said, cancel culture is coming after Medina's Spirit.

Speaker 4 I love that.

Speaker 3 I agree. It's just another cancel culture run amok trying to cancel a goddamn horse.

Speaker 4 Well, it's happened twice at the Kentucky Derby. They canceled, was it War Machine a couple years ago?

Speaker 3 Well, we canceled Nyquil. Nyquist.
Nyquist. And Nyquil the cough medicine.

Speaker 3 That's ListerQuill. Yeah, ListerQuil.

Speaker 4 By the way, was War Machine the guy that won?

Speaker 3 A lot of people, by the way, reached out, said that was a genius idea. Said also Barbara Cuffalo, was what he called it, was also a genius idea.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no. Not Barbara Cuffalo.
That's totally different. This is Buffalo.

Speaker 3 Buffacy. They said, wow, you guys are geniuses.
We're like, hey, you know what? You're right. But yes,

Speaker 3 it...

Speaker 3 So Nyquist got canceled by us. Who was the other one that got canceled?

Speaker 4 Was it War Machine at the Kentucky Derby? Who was the horse that won, but then they had to disqualify him afterwards?

Speaker 3 Oh, that was like a couple years ago. A couple years ago.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 So maybe this is the new thing.

Speaker 4 Medina Spirit went into war mode.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he got canceled. Maximum security.
Maximum security. There we go.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 I love Bob Baffert. I don't know where this is going to lead to.
We're going to have Randy Moss on for the preakness on Friday's show. Give us a couple picks and make sense of this.

Speaker 3 But either way, free Bob Baffert. There's a lot of things wrong with horse racing.
Bob Baffert isn't one of them. Well, of course.
Colled by Bob Baffert.

Speaker 4 It's also funny that into this next race, Bob Baffert has, he's self-imposed a suspension, so he's not going to the track because he doesn't want to be a distraction from the horse.

Speaker 4 He wants the horse just to go out there and run this race.

Speaker 3 I love it.

Speaker 4 So Medina Spirit is racing in the pre-night. As of right now.
That's awesome. I love it.
And I actually wonder.

Speaker 4 I actually wonder if there's a difference if Bob Baffert is like at the track. Is there something that a trainer is able to do like the day of the race besides give him steroids?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think it's just the suspension. Just the steroids.

Speaker 4 So there'll be somebody else there.

Speaker 3 I think when you see Bob Baffert, if you're a horse, you probably probably get a little fear. Yeah.
Like if I don't perform here, I won't get the steroids anymore.

Speaker 4 I think that Bob Baffert should actually take this out. You probably shouldn't

Speaker 4 load up on steroids right now. It's probably the easiest way to get away with it.
No one's going to be expecting you to do the exact same thing again.

Speaker 3 Think about it. If you're a junkie horse like Medina Spirit and

Speaker 3 you look at Bob Baffert and he's like, hey, you better win this race. Well, what could he do? Oh, he could take away your steroids and then you'd go and withdraw.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, I think Bob Afford being there does matter.

Speaker 4 Absolutely, yeah. No, this is like if you're actually addicted to these steroids, which I don't know how steroids work when it comes to a horse.
This is very complicated for me.

Speaker 4 I guess the steroid that they were using was for recovery.

Speaker 3 Yeah. That's what I was saying.

Speaker 3 It was like a Z-Pack. It was a light dose of a steroid.
It was a fucking Z-Project.

Speaker 4 He had a light dose of steroids.

Speaker 3 He had a little cough. He had a little fucking thing, a little bump on his dick.

Speaker 4 Can you administer human growth hormone to a horse?

Speaker 3 I wish we had an expert to tell us. But alas, we don't.
What are you saying? How much? Just use a smaller jockey.

Speaker 4 That's how you compensate for the fact that you can't use steroids. Yes.

Speaker 6 How much of your newfound love for Bob Afford comes from directly from the fact that you won on 99%?

Speaker 3 99%. Oh, if I were, if the roles were reversed, listen, we are very much hypocrites on this show.

Speaker 3 If roles were reversed and I was wronged and I had the second horse, or if I even had the last place horse, I would be screaming. I would be,

Speaker 3 I wouldn't do anything because i that would take effort but i would maybe sign a petition online uh but yeah i would be very very upset but guess what hank my job was to pick the winning horse on kentucky derby saturday i did my job my favorite what happened after is not my fault i i would be very happy with the goings on this week regardless of if i win or not just because i love public liars yeah i love people that have no shame in lying that are just out there trying like you said throwing everything against the wall he doesn't think he's lying no he doesn't no as george katana said it's not a lie if you truly believe it.

Speaker 4 So Bob Baffert just knows that Bob Baffert is a hell of a good trainer. Right.

Speaker 4 And he can't possibly be guilty of what he's being accused of for the last 40 times that his horses have been accused of using steroids. Correct.
It's not his fault.

Speaker 4 I can see that there's a pattern there, but it's not Bob Baffert's fault. No.
Says Bob Baffert.

Speaker 3 And so

Speaker 4 anytime you can get in front of the media and just lie to such a ridiculous degree, I actually, in a weird way, gain a little bit more respect for you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3 He's just going up there and being like i'm gonna keep going again flooding the zone and hoping one of these sticks and guess what all of them have stuck with me i i could go i'll defend bob bafford to the end of the earth because i have more than enough excuses for him and again this is because i won money on a kentucky diverse i have something that says what steroids horses can use okay okay there's four I don't know why Hank yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, you don't really have to worry about Hank's feelings.

Speaker 7 The Federal Drug Administration allows four steroids: Winstrahl, Equipose, Durabal, and testosterone to be administered to horses.

Speaker 4 That's a lot of drugs that horses are allowed to take. So, every horse is a good thing.

Speaker 3 They're like the old school shit. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they're drinking like the greeny coffee that they used to do in baseball back in the day.

Speaker 4 Every horse that you see out there is a junkie.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Hank, so you used to take Windstrawl.
Do you think you could have won the Kentucky Derby? At your peak?

Speaker 6 Honestly, probably, yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, well, there he goes. So it is definitely a performance answer.

Speaker 3 All right. Other news.
I mean, we'll.

Speaker 6 I'd have to be riding the horse, obviously.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Right.
But you could have won it. Right.
Yes. Just the pure rage.

Speaker 3 Randy Moss will give us some picks on. He picked Medina Spirit, or he told us the story.
So

Speaker 3 I don't know. Maybe he'll have a, maybe he'll pick him again.

Speaker 4 What a story it would be if Medina Spirit won.

Speaker 3 The Triple Crown? Yeah. I would love it.
So

Speaker 4 would there be an asterisk next to it? it?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think there already is.

Speaker 4 It's almost more impressive

Speaker 4 if you're able to overcome cheating blatantly and still win the triple crown.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I have no idea why this horse is allowed to race this weekend, this junkie horse.

Speaker 3 I think, yeah, I don't either. I feel like it's going to get pulled at the last second, but we shall see.
So the other things we had, NBA, we're getting close to the end of the season. This does feel,

Speaker 3 if you watch the NBA, like every night, it feels like everyone's just ready for the playoffs to start, myself included. But we had two big news stories.

Speaker 3 One was Russell Westbrook broke the triple-double record in perfect Russell Westbrook fashion. He grabs the rebound and then comes up and bricks a three.

Speaker 3 But I'm respecting Russell Westbrook, so I'm not doing the, there's a lot of people out there who want to say he sucks and these are hollow stats. I like Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 3 The dude just tries really fucking hard all the time.

Speaker 4 I don't think anybody's saying that Russell Westbrook sucks, but people are saying that he's definitely like a stat pattern at times and that he's hollow. knows how to get triple doubles.
I'm not.

Speaker 4 Listen, if you can excel at something, then you should try to excel. Like, if you don't want Russell Westbrook to get triple doubles, then stop him.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because you know what the game plan is going into.

Speaker 3 Russell's going to eat.

Speaker 4 He's going to eat every single night. And what's remarkable is like Russell Westbrook and Bradley Beal have made the Wizards a team that people are talking about a little bit now.

Speaker 4 And historically, I would make the argument that the Wizards are probably the least consequential team to ever pay attention to in all of sports

Speaker 4 it's like them and the florida panthers florida panthers florida panthers are always the answer it's neck and neck florida panthers listen i i grew up in the dc area and there was nothing that ever happened with the washington wizards unless they lost 10 games in a row or

Speaker 4 10 games in a row uh you should never pay attention to them yeah you can get through life just fine not having any of your brain space taken up by the washington wizards it is really good this year

Speaker 7 they have the hometown team yeah they're currently second in the central.

Speaker 4 It's going to be the Florida Cups. There we go.
It's going to be the Panthers and the Lightning.

Speaker 3 The

Speaker 3 play-in games, which I don't like how they're set it up this year, but I'll give the NBA credit for this.

Speaker 3 We are talking about these like eight, you know, seven, eight, nine, ten teams more than we would be in a regular season. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Like there's definitely some, I mean, the Pacers, they hate their coach. It's weird.
What's going on? Like the Bulls are fighting for it. The Wizards are kind of fun to watch.

Speaker 3 Then you have the the warriors and like the lakers might match up so the the idea that this gets more teams involved and gets us talking about more teams i get it i still think it's stupid that you could finish with the seventh seed and not make the playoffs that part is is very dumb to me yeah but on the other hand i i love chaos yeah but there's a if you're a seventh seed you're probably not going to win yeah but

Speaker 3 like there's definitely i don't know like imagine the lakers i i know obviously this is, I'm hurting my own argument because I'm basically LeBroning myself.

Speaker 3 Because if the Lakers get bounced as the seventh seed and don't even make the playoffs, I'm be like, that's awesome. That's the coolest thing ever.
That definitely counts.

Speaker 3 But I'd be fucking pissed if my team was the seventh seed and got bounced from the entire playoffs.

Speaker 4 By a bad team. Yes.
By like a reaction.

Speaker 3 By just in a kind of a fluke one, two game, you know, run there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think maybe whichever team loses

Speaker 4 in the playing game, they should play against the other loser in the other conference, and then they get to come back and play. Maybe

Speaker 4 I'm trying to figure out a way to get to have a play-in game for another play-in game.

Speaker 4 Because I just like double-playing game.

Speaker 4 When it comes to the NBA and the playoffs, it's like you know, there are four teams that could probably realistically have a chance at winning. So just let the other guys just fuck around for a while.

Speaker 4 Let them get their exercise, big cat. Obesity is a problem in America.

Speaker 3 A series of play-in games until you just get to the one seat.

Speaker 4 Why don't you? Here's what they should do.

Speaker 4 The entire season should be teams playing each other, and then based on who ends up with the best records in all those play-in games, then you get seeded one through eight going into the playoffs.

Speaker 3 That would never work. Probably not.

Speaker 4 Never work.

Speaker 3 And then the other story, Hank,

Speaker 3 Jalen Brown out for the season. Did you see this coming?

Speaker 4 Was he

Speaker 6 out for the last few games, but they didn't, you know, it didn't seem like he was going to be out for...

Speaker 6 I happened at the end of a game to like a meaningless.

Speaker 3 Oh, is it the one when he ran into Jason Tato? Well, that was watching it live.

Speaker 6 He went out after that, and Right. He hasn't really come back.

Speaker 3 I honestly think that this is a good excuse for you. Yes.
Like, you can now say, well, that didn't.

Speaker 6 They were going to make any noise in the playoffs anyway.

Speaker 3 And now

Speaker 3 I'm going to admit that. Yeah, right.
If your team is underwhelming all season, which I would, that was the selfish, right?

Speaker 3 They're underwhelming all season to lose a key player right before the playoffs.

Speaker 3 You can basically sell yourself next year being like, well, we don't know.

Speaker 3 We don't know what happened.

Speaker 4 We had all our guys back going, like, we we weren't healthy in the playoffs last year we're missing key contributors and then boom immediate excuse is that big cat's right this is a perfect confluence of events for you right now because you don't have to face the harsh reality that the bubble celtics were a fluke i still like the you know there's hope that you know if we got matched up between the the nixers no but that was stupid i'm saying yeah no i still think oh you still think that because then it's a win-win no one expects us to win and i guess

Speaker 3 it'll be great if the celtics like beat you're right if the celtics beat the sixers no one's gonna no one's going to title the Celtics if they lose that matchup because they don't have Jalen Brown.

Speaker 6 But if they do.

Speaker 3 It's like when they went to the Eastern Conference Finals against the Cavs.

Speaker 6 Yeah, which was the year Kyrie was out and Jason Tatum came out of his shell for every year. Or the Isaiah Thomas year, too.

Speaker 4 But if you played the Knicks, even if people expected the Knicks to win, if you lose that playoff series against the Knicks, it's still the Knicks are back because of the Boston Celtics.

Speaker 3 It's still

Speaker 3 pretty bad.

Speaker 6 I want to go see some playoff games at MSG, so it'll be fun to go to a Celtics one.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, the Knicks are, the Knicks definitely will, it will be fun to see the Knicks back in the playoffs. That absolutely matters.
And we're right here. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But yeah, next week.

Speaker 6 Knicks fan or Representative Hook It Up cough.

Speaker 3 You think James Dolan is going to. He should.

Speaker 4 After what you did at Madison Square Garden during the dog show?

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure Clem actually hissed at him in real life. He went up to him, saw him in public, and went

Speaker 3 right at him.

Speaker 3 That happened. That's crazy.
I'm pretty sure. But I respect it.

Speaker 3 Oh, I totally respect it. Knicks fans have every right to be salty against James Dolan.
But yeah, I don't think James Dolan's going to be like, oh, let me hook these guys up.

Speaker 4 Has he been playing in his band recently? I haven't heard too much about James Dolan and Kazoo yet.

Speaker 3 I really need to play. James Dolan and the Kazoo.

Speaker 4 Listen, if you're a fat, kind of goofy... Galute,

Speaker 4 there's one thing that you have to not do on stage, and that's play a kazoo. That's literally the only thing that's expected to be.

Speaker 3 It completely makes it illegitimizes your music ability.

Speaker 4 It actually, it's the worst thing for anybody to do publicly.

Speaker 3 The only thing you're doing. You can't respect a person

Speaker 4 after you watch them play the kazoo.

Speaker 3 Yeah, a recorder playing hot cross buns.

Speaker 4 I even think a kazoo is worse because you got the buzz, you got the spit going everywhere.

Speaker 3 Although, when a kazoo sold

Speaker 3 dude, when it hits that extra level, it kind of

Speaker 4 is there, is there somebody that's like the goat kazoo player?

Speaker 3 I would assume like Rafi, right? The children's guy, children's music guy. The commercial.
Baby Beluga. Outgoing.
Yeah, baby Beluga. Yeah, the Deep Blue C.
Yeah, there's other ones.

Speaker 3 I've listened to all of them. Let's see.
Best Kazoo player. He's got to be up there.
Imagine if Bob Dylan started with the Kazoo.

Speaker 3 That's actually why his career took a while to take off, and then he one day switched the harmonica.

Speaker 4 He started emulating the sound of the kazoo with his voice.

Speaker 4 So yeah, there's no real greatest kazoo player. Basically,

Speaker 4 how it's ranked on YouTube is just the most recent person to play the kazoo in a a like talent show TV.

Speaker 3 So we could possibly become the greatest kazoo.

Speaker 7 It says best kazoo player in the world. This is Amy G, who is talented in every way.
Amy G? She was a sexy babe and an awesome kazoo player. This is funny and very entertaining.

Speaker 3 Dude, I'll tell you what. 674,000 views.
If you're trying to like corner a market, because this is kind of as the world

Speaker 3 becomes more like the global world with the internet and everyone's, you know, got a piece of the pie here, being a big-titted kazoo player, I feel like you could get a pretty big fan base.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 Like, you don't, if you, if you have large breasts and you don't have anything else going for you, you might as well pick up a niche instrument because then you're the person who plays that, but also has big boobs.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 3 You just, every, everyone has all their interests get flushed out. There's so much entertainment out there.
There's so many things to like delve into. Big titty kazoo player.

Speaker 4 I think that plays huge.

Speaker 3 That is huge. There's all watches on the market for that.
Send me that link real quick, Jake. Amy G is what you said her name was.

Speaker 7 Yeah, the video is just called Best Kazoo Player in the World.

Speaker 3 That's all?

Speaker 3 Literally it. Okay.

Speaker 3 Kazoo Porn? You think there's Kazoo Porn? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 How do you call it like What That Mouth Do? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right. Other.
Oh, one sad news: Colt Brennan passed away. That was really sad, unexpected.

Speaker 3 If you don't remember Colt Brennan at Hawaii, like it was one of the most electric experiences that 2006 year when I think he threw 58 touchdowns.

Speaker 3 It was essentially if you were playing the NCAA video game and you put it on like freshmen and you said, how many stats could I put up? That's what Colt Brennan did in real life.

Speaker 4 Was that him and June Jones? Yeah. Was that when June Jones?

Speaker 3 And then the next year they went and played Georgia.

Speaker 3 Hawaii got to a like a New Year's Day bowl and they got killed by Hawaii, but they were like, or Georgia, but they were awesome those days. I think they went 12 and 1 that year.

Speaker 3 The year before, Colt Brennan threw 58 touchdowns. Heisman finalists.

Speaker 4 It was a more exciting Mike Leach offense, basically. And Colt Brennan had he dyed his hair blonde and got the state of Hawaii, the islands, dyed into the side of his head.

Speaker 4 I remember the Washington Redskins at the time. I don't know if they drafted him or if he was an undrafted free agent, but he was like a preseasoned legend.
Yes, he was electric in the preseason.

Speaker 4 He was the guy that you always have that guy at the end of your bench that you've seen in the preseason, and you're like, just let him try. Let him try because he's a winner.

Speaker 3 He was

Speaker 3 like college. That's kind of why I love college sports so much is that you get these guys who are so memorable, even if they don't have great pro careers.

Speaker 3 He was in that list of, like, when you think of guys, like, oh man, some of the best quarterbacks I've ever seen in college. Colt Brennan absolutely pops up there.

Speaker 3 Late night Hawaii games, late night snack in the whack.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, very sad. But like, if you are looking for something to do today, go pull up Colt Brennan highlight tapes and watch him just bomb the ball all over the field.

Speaker 4 Then maybe a little kazoo chaser.

Speaker 3 Little kazoo, yeah, a little ABG to basically

Speaker 7 brighten the the mood about this kazoo. So I always watch the video and she doesn't necessarily play the kazoo with her mouth.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 the world's best.

Speaker 7 I jumped ahead of myself.

Speaker 3 Where is she putting the kazoo?

Speaker 3 James. Wait, is it another

Speaker 3 lips? Yeah. Oh my gosh.
She's warming it up. This is the horniest thing you've ever done, Jake.
Introduce us to Amy G. Amy G, the legend.
Oh, man.

Speaker 4 James Dolan should do that with his butthole.

Speaker 3 This kind of ends the video with her mouth, but this kind of tells you the state of kazoo playing. It does.
The number one kazoo player is like, how can we make the kazoo interesting?

Speaker 3 Oh, we play with our pussy lips.

Speaker 4 She actually made it more respectable playing it with her vagina. Like,

Speaker 4 if she played it with her mouth, I would have been like, ooh, she's, that girl's kind of weird. Yeah.
Now I'm like, that's normal.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's totally normal.

Speaker 3 All right, Kazoo, Amy G, we should get her on.

Speaker 3 Get her on the show.

Speaker 3 Why not? Bonk. Why not? Just talk to her.
All right, let's get to our hot seat cool throne. Hot seat cool throne is brought to you by our friends.

Speaker 4 It's funny that the only way that they can get people to watch someone play the kazooka is put in.

Speaker 3 Is if they stick it up. Yes, it's incredible.
That is, it's so fucking good.

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Speaker 3 Ah, Hot See Cultural, by the way, did you guys see that guy who was like, he was basically complaining about how much work goes into scripted podcasts?

Speaker 7 That guy's the absolute best.

Speaker 3 And he was like, hold on, I'm going to pull it up because it was so funny.

Speaker 4 There was another thread about that a few years ago. You remember when somebody was talking about how they do their job on NPR and they have like a staff of 15 people that work on a 30-minute podcast?

Speaker 3 Yes, yes. So he said, Matt Zeitlin said, good narrative podcasting requires so much work from so many people, research interviews, working with archival audio, writing scripts, et cetera.

Speaker 3 And then there are guys who just turn on the mic and BS for an hour and put up huge numbers. And I'm just thinking about like the pussy kazoo.
That guy's got to be fucking pounding his deck.

Speaker 4 The pussy kazoo is like proof positive. Like, yep.

Speaker 3 We uncovered a murder from 1972 and then the pussy kazoo got us.

Speaker 3 That guy actually nailed it. He's a million dollars.
Oh, he totally got it. Yeah, you totally got it.

Speaker 4 You can put hours in, you can do research, or you can just get drunk and show up, and then Joe Burrow will talk to you as you're throwing up in your hotel room.

Speaker 3 Dude, Pussy Kazoo's great name for fantasy football team. Hell yeah.

Speaker 6 Speaking of uncovering murder.

Speaker 3 Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 That wasn't an entrance for you to bring that that up, but I'll take it together.

Speaker 4 I mean, I'm struggling right now with having to update my lineup every day. I've got Max Scherzer going out there pitching his card out.

Speaker 3 It was such a great shoe horse.

Speaker 4 I got some guys that are putting up absolute stud numbers right now, but other guys that just, they can't even get out of bed for me.

Speaker 3 They helped me out one time.

Speaker 4 I drafted well. I got a good grade.
Did you, though? I got a good grade on that.

Speaker 3 Those grades are bullshit. That shit.

Speaker 4 Well, when it says that I did a good job, I believe it. Yeah, that's actually true.
When it says it's an F, it's like, well, these fucking nerds don't know. They've never played the game.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 You mentioned podcasts about uncovering murders. Go listen to the case.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Fantastic.

Speaker 3 I saw you tweeting about that. It actually is better guy.
Really good. And it is true.
Like, they put in so much work, and then we do pussy gazoos.

Speaker 4 It has become not just one case. There are multiple cases now.

Speaker 4 It's got tentacles.

Speaker 3 Yes. Go check it out.
The case download it. I think it's, what are we, episode five?

Speaker 3 So we have a few more to go. But yes, I'm going to, I'm actually about to binge it.

Speaker 3 I listened to the first episode twice, and then my stupid fucking brain has been completely ruined by streaming services that if I, like the mayor of East Town, right?

Speaker 3 Have you watched that show yet? No, I haven't seen it. With Kate Winslett, I went to watch it, and I realized that it was weekly, and I just didn't watch it.

Speaker 3 I was like, I'll watch it when it gets here.

Speaker 4 How does this happen? It doesn't come out all at once.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like let me have an option that I can just watch four episodes on Friday, four episodes on Saturday, and two on Sunday, and be done with it in in a weekend.

Speaker 4 Piquet, you need to fall back to your roots and like how we watched Game of Thrones and binge after it had already been out for like four years. Yep.
Do that. Or like Dave,

Speaker 4 which, by the way, I know you finished it. I finished it.
I started it. I'm like four episodes in.
But if you just wait until it's old,

Speaker 4 if you wait long enough, it becomes new again. And then other people get excited that you're into it because they get to like relive themselves two years ago.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Long way of saying, though, listen to the case.

Speaker 6 Rhea just started watching The Office, so I've been re-watching that. That's the most re-watchable show it's crazy though like i was like yeah this is so funny i was like yeah it's welcome to 2011.

Speaker 4 i'm actually jealous

Speaker 4 uh 2006 yeah it was way before that it was 2005.

Speaker 3 if i watch in college i haven't been in college in

Speaker 3 14 years if i were to do that

Speaker 4 to say out loud the men in black like mind eraser thing i wouldn't do it to like erase a painful memory i would probably just erase my five favorite television shows so i could go back and watch them again i'm very jealous that ria's doing yeah if i could watch the sopranos again, no spoilers.

Speaker 3 Would be incredible.

Speaker 3 I didn't even... That wasn't even a shot at you, Hank, because I know you need to win this week, but I really would love to watch it again.
No spoilers.

Speaker 4 So the priest is like very much a thing with Carmella and she kind of falls in love with him. I don't think they ever do anything, but like emotionally, she definitely cheats on Tony.

Speaker 3 He's creepy.

Speaker 4 Hank, Hatsikon. He stays overnight.
The neighbors see the car?

Speaker 3 Hatsikotron? Do you want to do this after I repeat? Is he waiting? No, I mean it's 3.58. Let's make him wait.
All All right. He's going to be fired up.

Speaker 3 We're basically like sticking him in a rocket and just,

Speaker 3 you know, whooshing them around and then we're going to shoot him out of the cannon. Making him dizzy.

Speaker 6 Hot seat is Oakland. They lost the Raiders.
They lost the Warriors. And now they're going to lose the Athletics.
Probably.

Speaker 6 Unless I think Oakland plays ball with the new stadium, which it seems like they're not going to.

Speaker 3 This sucks.

Speaker 6 So yeah, hot seat Oakland.

Speaker 4 That's tough. That's tough because I feel like the Athletics were a team that had deeper roots there than

Speaker 3 Moneyball.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Money yeah, Moneyball. They didn't...

Speaker 4 I feel bad because the

Speaker 4 Oakland Coliseum has just been getting shit on it.

Speaker 4 It's been like the one stadium that everybody universally has been like, this stadium sucks and needs to be updated for the last 15 years, but they just haven't been able to do it.

Speaker 4 So where are they going to move the team?

Speaker 3 Probably. Vegas?

Speaker 3 We can't have that. We need the A's.
Yeah. The fucking A's, the fan base and the outfield is so cool.
Like, fuck that. We need the A's.
Don't do this. Don't do this.

Speaker 3 I also love the, like, I love quirks in baseball stadiums, and the A's

Speaker 3 foul ball territory is awesome. It's so stupid.
Yep.

Speaker 4 I feel bad for Dallas Braden. Is he going to have to move to Vegas?

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. That would be a shame.

Speaker 3 I think he'd be fine. I think he'd do fine.
Hank, your cool throne?

Speaker 6 My cool throne is this league, NBA Twitter, players fighting with each other,

Speaker 6 Bradley Beal and Ken Bazemore.

Speaker 6 Ken Bazemore, after they played Bradley Beal and Steph Curry, had 49 points and 29 minutes, said, That's unreal.

Speaker 6 We got guys hurting hamstrings to keep up because Bradley Beal hurt his hamstring in the game. Bradley Beal is not happy about that.

Speaker 6 Went on like a long Twitter rant and said, You don't know me or shit about me, bruh. You don't know why I go out there and play it.
Damn sure, ain't for another man's approval.

Speaker 6 You were straight lame, all caps. But it don't surprise me coming from you.
That's why, that's what yo type do.

Speaker 6 And there was, there was a lot more there going back and forth.

Speaker 3 Called McClellan.

Speaker 6 Clearly, Bradley Beal was, you know, he was tight about the whole situation. It's worse because it's just good when you know there's generic, like not generic, it's like real.
Like, once you get your

Speaker 6 all caps locked lame, right? Like, that's from the heart.

Speaker 4 He called him a type, too, which is actually a great insult because then it allows the other person to think what the worst type they could be implying is. Yes.

Speaker 4 So it really is psychological torture on your opponent.

Speaker 3 It's also great in the NBA because there's a clear pecking order, and Bradley Beal is far above Kent Bazemore. So So it's great when

Speaker 3 you can look at it objectively and be like, yeah, Bradley Beal's got every right. He's a superstar.

Speaker 4 And wasn't Steph Curry? He like he looked at Bradley Beal's stats the other night before the game and that's what made him be like, I'm going to go out there and try to drop 50 on him.

Speaker 3 Well, I think they're in,

Speaker 3 aren't they one and two for points per game? Yeah. I think Beal is

Speaker 4 slightly ahead, maybe. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay. Prisco tried the link, Hank.
He says the meeting hasn't started yet.

Speaker 3 Right. Should we do it? because you told him to wait so he's in cyberspace should we is he stuck in cyberspace all right you know what we'll we'll be back

Speaker 3 we'll be back in a second for hot seat cool throne

Speaker 3 okay we're back pete was awesome he's coming up in a second ridiculous human being i love pete hot seat cool throne we he was getting more and more angry just being stuck in cyberspace also if you are uh blocked by pete make sure you listen because we have a special offer for people pft hot seat cool throne also can I have your computer charger?

Speaker 3 Because my computer is about to die.

Speaker 4 Yeah, here's my computer charger. Thank you.
My hot seat, they're literally hot seats in Vegas, hot commodities.

Speaker 4 We talk about them a little bit with Pete at the end, but Allegiant Stadium has unveiled what their indoor seating capacity is going to look like.

Speaker 4 They're going to have a straight-up club in the end zone.

Speaker 3 I saw that.

Speaker 4 There's going to be a DJ setup. There's going to be bottle service.
It's going to be, I think it, is it going to be lit?

Speaker 3 It's going to be so lit.

Speaker 4 Litty.

Speaker 6 Well, I think they think it's going to be lit. I'm excited to see what the personnel of people that actually go are.

Speaker 4 What does that mean?

Speaker 6 I hope it's like older guy. You know what I mean? I think they're expecting club-going people to go.

Speaker 3 It's going to be true religion gene wearers.

Speaker 6 But it's going to be more, you know, older football fanatic rich Raider fans. I hope.

Speaker 3 Maybe not.

Speaker 4 I would love to see the black hole in that club, like wearing the gorilla suit.

Speaker 3 Like, I want to see Pete Crisco and us

Speaker 6 in those seasons.

Speaker 6 They're not actually like club-going, you know, hot people.

Speaker 4 I actually think that we should go

Speaker 4 for content. content.
Sure.

Speaker 4 We should go to the game for content, and I think that we should get maybe strippers, but for content, just to be like, hey, this is the biggest Vegas type party that we can have in the end zone for content.

Speaker 4 For content, show up with...

Speaker 4 You think Mark Davis is going to be a go-go dancer?

Speaker 3 Well,

Speaker 3 Wednesday is tomorrow. Today, as you're listening to this, the schedule will release.
Yes. So we'll pick a Monday night football game.

Speaker 4 Hell yeah. Schedule release day is one of my favorite days, but this year is going to be a little bit different.

Speaker 3 Because there's 17 games.

Speaker 4 Because there's 17 games. So, like, it's always, we're going 10 and and 6.
So do you think it's going to be

Speaker 4 11 and 6 or do you think people are going to be like we're going 10 and 7?

Speaker 3 There also is not going to be a doubleheader Monday Night Football week one. Sucks.

Speaker 7 So bad. Is the news about the Bears?

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 7 Sunday Night Football Week 1 against the Rams.

Speaker 3 Really? Yeah. Why would they do that?

Speaker 4 For ratings for part of my take.

Speaker 3 To help ourselves. Why would they do that? Andy Dalton.
Meday's going to start Andy Dalton.

Speaker 4 So I think if we can take a real quick detour into Bears' quarterback talk, I think that there's a good chance Justin Fields starts week one.

Speaker 3 I do, too. I hope so.
I think

Speaker 4 they're doing the thing where they say, like, Andy's our guy, and we want Justin Fields to learn behind a veteran. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 And then after, like, two practices, it's going to be like Justin Fields is clearly superior.

Speaker 3 I want Justin Fields to start week one. Absolutely.
No, no ifs, ands, or buts. I do not want to, no offense, Andy Dalton, nice guy.
I don't want him, especially Sunday night football now. Come on.

Speaker 4 Come on. Just a couple things I'm looking for in the schedule.
I want, I need the Jaguars, Titans to play that Thursday night game.

Speaker 4 It would really just be nice. And then besides that,

Speaker 4 I just like seeing exciting teams in primetime like everybody else. I don't want to see Cowboys, Giants playing a primetime game this year.
That would honestly make my week.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes. All right.
Your cool throne.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is,

Speaker 4 well, it's kind of like a,

Speaker 4 I don't know if I should bring this up, but the early 2000s, Bennefer back together.

Speaker 3 Well, actually,

Speaker 3 funny you bring that up, PFT. That's my hot seat.

Speaker 3 Because Ben Affleck was tampering. Ben Affleck, it was reported, was texting J-Lo in February when J-Lo and E-Rod were still engaged.
That is illegal. That is tampering.
Lock him up.

Speaker 3 Lock him up. Lock him up.

Speaker 3 Lock him. Jake, help me.
Lock him up. Fuck, Jake yourself with me, too.
Have you seen Gigly?

Speaker 3 It's wonderful. It's pronounced Gigali.

Speaker 4 It's wonderful. I actually don't know what that is.

Speaker 3 It's a great movie.

Speaker 4 I hope they do a sequel.

Speaker 3 Tampering, tampering, tampering. You can't do that.
Bro code. Guy code.
Come on.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but he's dude, Ben Affleck's on. Guy code.

Speaker 3 He's a Boston guy. Go fucking go fuck Naveen or whatever.
The chick who blew him up. I know one thing.
That was such an awesome video.

Speaker 4 And that's that A-Rod would never, ever, ever cheat.

Speaker 4 I was going to say text somebody who's in a relationship, first and foremost, or cheat. So

Speaker 3 Boston, New York, the color

Speaker 6 waters run deep.

Speaker 3 Tampering.

Speaker 3 I'm sad. All right.
That was my hot seat. That was your cool throne.

Speaker 4 Well, just the early 2000s, General, because we also got Chris Berman back on ESPN.

Speaker 3 Happy birthday yesterday. Yep.
Happy birthday.

Speaker 4 It was his birthday when they announced the contract.

Speaker 3 I think so. Yeah.
Good job, Chris. Yeah, great job.
Kenny Maine's gone, though. That sucks.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We'll hire him. My cool throne is

Speaker 3 Prego

Speaker 3 pasta sauce because that video that went viral of that chick just dumping all of the pasta sauce and spaghetti and meatballs on the countertop. I think that's what she does.

Speaker 3 I know it's so funny.

Speaker 4 She did it with nachos. She made like the ice cream cone.

Speaker 3 And people get so mad about it

Speaker 3 every time.

Speaker 4 People love to get mad about food online. It's their favorite activity to do.

Speaker 3 Also, that's like the suburban

Speaker 3 mom version of a cocaine party.

Speaker 4 Right? Just a lot of spaghetti sauce.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just on the countertop.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I would say like white wine.

Speaker 4 like, they should have had like a ice luge for white wine sit up next to it.

Speaker 3 Hilarious video and all.

Speaker 3 Just very funny. Like, those are the videos that just tells you: are people just taking

Speaker 3 everything online way too seriously? Like, that was just a fucking ridiculous troll video.

Speaker 4 The answer is yes.

Speaker 3 They are. They're getting very upset.

Speaker 4 A lot of people think I actually drink mayonnaise eggnog.

Speaker 3 You do.

Speaker 4 Well, that's beside the point. I did it.
I put it up there as a troll, which I also happen to enjoy. Right.
But it was just a troll.

Speaker 3 Right. It was just a joke.
It's a prank. Learn a prank, folks.

Speaker 3 Jake, the alpha in the room.

Speaker 3 How's it going? Any update?

Speaker 4 Can I get you anything?

Speaker 3 We've got $51

Speaker 7 in the quest to get Hank a new butt.

Speaker 3 That's it? Yeah, $51. I don't think we even know how to use the Twitter tips thing.

Speaker 7 And I googled how much it would cost to get... butt implants.
It's about five grand. Okay.
We're not really there, but...

Speaker 4 Yeah. We can go cheek by cheek, though.

Speaker 7 True. So $2,500.
Top of the left.

Speaker 4 Check

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hank, there was a rumor that you made up a doctor's appointment yesterday. As soon as Jake showed up, you just left the office.

Speaker 6 No, I mean, I said on Sunday I was feeling under the weather.

Speaker 3 So he walked in and you just got up from your desk and walked out.

Speaker 6 No, I mean, listen, the people are really, really reaching for conclusions. I said I'm on the record saying I was feeling under the weather.

Speaker 6 I went and got my third vaccine shot yesterday. Just wanted to make sure.

Speaker 4 Yeah, top you off.

Speaker 3 So, yeah. Sorry for being here.

Speaker 3 Make sure you watch Stool streams. Thursday.
On Thursday,

Speaker 3 Jake, doing his great job as an announcer went to interview Dave, and Dave made Tommy stand as security guard in case Jake

Speaker 3 got aggressive with him.

Speaker 4 It's smart. It is very smart.

Speaker 4 It's like that tiger that was on the loose in Houston. That's basically what we have prowling the office here with Jake.

Speaker 3 I'm scared.

Speaker 7 I'm scared.

Speaker 7 People asked for shirts. I think they're coming.

Speaker 3 Has to be. I'm the best one here.
That's what the shirt is going to say? No. What's it going to say? Best in the office.
I like, I'm the best one here. Should be it.

Speaker 3 I know what I'm not going to make any suggestions. No, do it.
No, no, no.

Speaker 3 It's all right. Do it.
No. What should it be, Hank? No.
You guys are super. The step over.
Should it be the step over?

Speaker 3 No, it's copyright. Hank getting stepped over.
Copyrighted, yeah, yeah. What's your suggestion?

Speaker 6 Don't you worry about it, Jake.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 all right, Jake, what's your hot seat cool to run?

Speaker 7 Hot seat is flopping. In college hoops, they are going to now assess the technical if you are caught caught flopping.

Speaker 3 Send them a warning.

Speaker 4 That's going to be fun to decipher. Yeah,

Speaker 4 that sounds like a hornet's nest, honestly. And plus, I don't have any faith in it actually being upheld because college reps love to call charges.

Speaker 7 That's the recommended from the NCA Rules Committee. So it's not official, but it's in that way.

Speaker 4 That could get it ugly. What does that mean for the zone? Is that good or bad for the zone?

Speaker 3 What does that mean for Brad Davidson's seventh year?

Speaker 3 Good point. That's really what I'm thinking about.
Okay.

Speaker 7 Then Cool Throne is J. Cole.

Speaker 3 He is playing in the Rwandan Club club uh basketball africa league oh so okay taking his talents to africa maybe we can get him in slam ball yeah which is coming up or if he was coming up yeah

Speaker 4 remember when didn't master p almost make the raptors

Speaker 3 i feel like he yeah he tried out right Did he almost make it? I think if you just, if you can just get one picture of you in the jersey, like in the practice, you basically made the team.

Speaker 4 Nelly had it right. Nelly would just show up to all the rocket jocks on MTV and just dominate no matter what sport it was.
It's like Nelly Nelly was always the king of all the celebrities out there.

Speaker 3 Maybe that was, I mean, we're going to talk about Tebow right now with Pete Prisco, but maybe that's just all he wanted to do.

Speaker 3 Get another jersey on, have everyone be like, oh yeah, he was on that team. That's actually genius.

Speaker 3 All right, let's get to Pete Prisco. We're going to do Pete Prisco.
Then we have

Speaker 3 the

Speaker 3 creator of Slam Ball. Awesome interview with him.

Speaker 3 Before we get to Pete Prisco.

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Speaker 3 Here he is, Pete Prisco.

Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend.

Speaker 3 It is Pete Prisco. You can find him on CBS.
He's a senior NFL columnist for CBS Sports.com.

Speaker 3 It says it in his Twitter, which most of the people listening right now are probably blocked. But we have Pete on

Speaker 3 because Tim Tebow has signed with the Jacksonville Jaguars. Pete covered Tim Tebow at Florida.
He lives in Jacksonville. He covers the Jaguars.

Speaker 4 He's a huge Tim Tebow fan.

Speaker 3 He's a huge Tim Tebow fan. And I looked for just some stats beforehand, Pete.

Speaker 3 Tim Tebow got signed less than 24 hours ago. Pete Prisco has tweeted about Tim Tebow 40 plus times since that.
So we thought, who better to have on to talk about Tim Tebow than Pete Prisco?

Speaker 3 So let's do it. Let's do it.

Speaker 12 What's up, fellas? By the way, I don't live in Jacksonville anymore. I've moved to South Florida.

Speaker 3 Same thing. But

Speaker 12 I'm still on the Jaguars radio network. So this

Speaker 12 is an interesting signing, signing, and it's a stupid signing. And I will absolutely say that this is a big joke because he can't play.
He couldn't play quarterback. He was a terrible quarterback.

Speaker 12 He hasn't played since 2012. He's going to be 34 years old and he has no suddenness to his game.
He can't play tight end. He will not be able to make the transition.

Speaker 4 So it seems to me, though, that the transition to the tight end position eliminates his biggest weakness, which is throwing the ball.

Speaker 12 And he is a good runner like he's he's not bad in space right he he never made anybody miss he was always one of those guys that tried to run over people he's not going to run over anybody from the tight end position you got to be able to get open you think he's going to get open i don't know if you saw the tweet yesterday i sent out too about the when he was on the punt i went back and looked at his punt protection plays and he he was getting mauled as a blocker they were running over him he can't block he's definitely going to have a target on him like tim tebow is going to be a guy that other players are going to love to hit absolutely love to knock out I actually agree with you.

Speaker 4 I don't think that he'll be a good tight end. I think he's just going to be camp fodder.
I think he's like, what is it, a 90-man roster right now?

Speaker 12 Yeah, but you know what else is interesting about this? It's when they say, oh, well, he's going to be a leader when he gets in there. Those players are all going to follow.
Nobody follows a stiff.

Speaker 3 You follow good players. You hate Tim Tebow.
I actually, I agree with everything you're saying. Why, though, then did the Jaguars do this?

Speaker 12 As a favor for Urban Meyer, I mean, that has to be what it is. His buddy, he knows him.
He played for him. He won titles for him.
He was was a big part of his life.

Speaker 12 And Tebow lives in Jacksonville still. So he probably said, hey, come on over.
We'll give you a workout.

Speaker 12 He probably looked okay in the workout because he's in great shape, but he's not going to be able to play tight end in the league. And I just don't understand it.

Speaker 12 All the goodwill that they've built up in the last three months or four months. You know, think about it.
That franchise has been beat to hell since it came into the league.

Speaker 12 You get a coach like Urban Meyer. You get a quarterback like Trevor Lawrence, and now you bring in Thebow.
And all that does is it kills all the goodwill you've had in the last couple of of months.

Speaker 3 Okay, counterpoint. Counterpoint.
And I do agree that Tebow's not, you know, it's all just a circus act at this point. But counterpoint, Urban Meyer has forgotten more football than you ever knew.

Speaker 3 True.

Speaker 12 I don't think there's any doubt about that.

Speaker 12 It doesn't mean they don't make mistakes. They all make mistakes.

Speaker 3 But what if he sees something you don't know?

Speaker 3 What if he's got something that you don't know and he's got some kind of plan in place for Tim Tebow that you can't figure out? out will you at least apologize then

Speaker 12 oh I will say I'm wrong I've said I'm wrong before I get look I said Christian Ponder would be better than Cam Newton I was wrong

Speaker 3 thanks maybe the worst quarterback ever drafted ever oh he was terrible oh terrible

Speaker 12 so bad really disgusting individual but here's here's the thing about the the Tebow stuff is sell tickets if you what if you draft Trevor Lawrence you're gonna be a good team you're gonna sell tickets Trevor Lawrence if you can take him off the field can you imagine if they take him off the field to put that gimmicky crap in on the goal line?

Speaker 12 Trevor Lawrence moves better than Tim Tebow does. Why would you do that?

Speaker 4 I don't know, but counter-counterpoint to what Big Cat said, yeah, it's a circus act, but circuses are fun. People go to circuses.
Good point. I like watching circuses.

Speaker 4 So at the end of the day, it's probably a net benefit to have people talking about the Jaguars, right?

Speaker 12 You probably go to the circus to watch the elephant take a dump in front of everybody. That's probably why you go to the circus.

Speaker 4 I don't know what that means, but yeah, I would.

Speaker 12 You've never been in the circus when the elephant walked by and takes a big giant dump in front of everybody i mean what do you go for the clowns i go for somebody stepping in his dump i like the tigers i like the tigers this is nfl football

Speaker 12 um yeah this is not nfl football this is this is a joke and and here's the other thing uh somebody and i i can't remember who said it on twitter it might have been Jeff Legwald, who I have great, I've known Jeff for years, but he said he was around when Tebow was in Denver, he covered that thing.

Speaker 3 It takes away some of the pressure off of it, might take away some of the pressure off of trevor lawrence true and then focus well if you if if you drafted trevor lawrence first overall and he can't handle the pressure then you drafted the recovery wait wait but there's two things at play here we're not saying he can't and now i'm arguing for tim tebow which i hate that i'm doing this let's go we the argument would not be that trevor lawrence can't handle the pressure the argument is can you make trevor lawrence's job even a little bit easier and if the answer is yes why wouldn't you do that how does it make his job easier because everyone's everyone's going to be talking about Tim Tebow.

Speaker 12 I don't for about a week.

Speaker 3 Listen, all right. Here's, here's what, here's, I'm going to give you a little hypothetical.

Speaker 3 Week one, Trevor Lawrence throws three interceptions. Tim Tebow gets blown up on punt return coverage, and they block a punt.
Pete Prisco, what is it, senior NFL columnist? What will he be?

Speaker 3 Senior as an old. Yeah, what will he be tweeting about? Tim Tebow or Trevor Lawrence's poor performance?

Speaker 3 Poor performance. That's a lie.
That's a lie. You did say 45 tweets about Tim Tebow.

Speaker 12 If you drafted the guy in the first pick overall and he throws three interceptions in his first game, you're going to be killing him. Let's be real.
You guys would be too.

Speaker 12 You wouldn't be talking about this stiff punt protector.

Speaker 3 No, that wouldn't be his first game.

Speaker 4 We would just talk about how his long hair is bad for the quarterback position. But what if it, okay, what about this, Pete?

Speaker 4 What if they're bringing Tim Tebow in because you know the old saying, the only way that you can truly master a skill is to teach it to somebody else?

Speaker 4 What if Trevor Lawrence, one of his assignments is like, teach Tim Tebow to throw for greater than 45% completion percentage.

Speaker 4 And by then teaching Tim Tebow, Trevor Lawrence has become a better quarterback.

Speaker 12 I think you're reaching for something here.

Speaker 12 Can Trevor Lawrence teach him not to throw like this? I mean, that's hard to do. You can't teach that.

Speaker 3 Okay, what about this, Pete Prisco, senior NFL columnist? What about Urban Meyer understanding the importance of having a Heisman trophy winner on the roster, something Trevor Lawrence did not do.

Speaker 12 Nobody gives a crap about your college trophies.

Speaker 3 I do. I bet on Trevor Lawrence to win the Heisman and he didn't win it.

Speaker 12 Well, see, now that impacted your life.

Speaker 3 No, but you said

Speaker 3 nobody cares about it. I care.

Speaker 12 Nobody in the locker room cares about your college trophies.

Speaker 3 I got to get in the locker.

Speaker 12 Nobody who's playing with him cares about his college trophies. Nobody does.
And they don't care about your religion. They don't care about anything else.

Speaker 12 Just line up and play and show to me that you could be a productive player and help me win games. Period.
End of story.

Speaker 3 So is there any chance Tim Tebow makes a roster? 0% chance?

Speaker 8 Zero.

Speaker 3 Zero. Zero.
That's a low number. Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 12 I'd go even lower if I could vote.

Speaker 3 Pete, you have to, you have to eat your column. No, no, no, no, no, no, because that's a guarantee.
That's a PFT guarantee. I got something better.

Speaker 3 If Tim Tebow makes the roster, PFT and I both get to nut tap you.

Speaker 12 No, I'm not letting anybody do that. Why?

Speaker 12 Because you keel over and you can't breathe. I saw you in the video the other day.

Speaker 3 day.

Speaker 12 What do you do? What are you two doing to each other?

Speaker 3 That was a long time ago. That was

Speaker 3 three years ago. So our mutual friend Will Brinson tipped me off to this.
Pete makes the claim that he never has been nut tapped or nut tapped anyone, which leads me to believe you have no friends.

Speaker 12 No, I have friends. We just didn't nut tap each other.
I'm not touching you. I don't want to go down there.
I don't want to hit you there. A.

Speaker 12 And B, if you hit me there, I'd probably chase you around the school.

Speaker 4 It honestly sounds homophobic.

Speaker 3 No, it sounds, i just don't want you what you oh oh i touched another man's penis oh i hope nobody thinks i'm gay you're you're hitting him it's the straightest thing you can do

Speaker 3 just hit him in the mouth

Speaker 3 okay so wait pete i think actually i think it's because

Speaker 3 uh you actually would be great at nut tapping though you realize that like you're so short that no one would be able to hit your balls

Speaker 3 what with their foot

Speaker 3 yeah down

Speaker 12 they kick at my ankle and you get them.

Speaker 4 All right, Pete, what about this? It is funny how people do treat Tim Tebow like he's America's little special boy and that he can do anything.

Speaker 4 Like if Tim Tebow wants to play baseball, he can play baseball. If you want to be president, Tim, sure, you're America's special little dude.
You can do whatever you set your mind to.

Speaker 4 What about the fact that it's a testament to...

Speaker 4 That you can do anything that you want in terms of your goals as long as you have a hard work ethic, a clean conscience, and a shitload of dirt on Urban Meyer for all the stuff that he swept under the rug when he was a head coach at Florida.

Speaker 12 Now you're talking. Now I think you might be on to something.
That's the reason, right?

Speaker 12 He's got all the details and all the dirt on everything that went on there. Maybe.
That could be. You never know.
But you know what? Tebow's not the kind of guy that's going to let that out anyways.

Speaker 12 You know how he is. It was in the locker room.
I'm not telling anybody. He's not telling anybody that.

Speaker 12 I don't, look, you can't, your dreams are great. You thought you could play baseball, you couldn't, couldn't hit.
You thought you could play quarterback, you couldn't. You couldn't throw.

Speaker 12 Now you think you're going to play tight end and you have no suddenness. Just get on with your life.
You're doing a good, you're on TV. You do good things in the community.
You do stuff.

Speaker 12 You used to go on missions to the Philippines and do circumcisions back in the day.

Speaker 4 That's basically the same thing as a nut tap.

Speaker 12 Yeah. Only now those kids are going to be 19.
They're about 19 and they're waking up going, oh my gosh, what happened to me?

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 4 I wish he was an NFL player I hope his accuracy was better at that than it was at throwing it.

Speaker 3 So I agree with everything you're saying. I think it's just a joke.

Speaker 3 I also think Tim Thibaut, like, there's a little element of, he loves the spotlight, and he loves just being in the conversation when it's not realistic. It's not realistic he was going to make MLB.

Speaker 3 It's not realistic he's going to make the Jaguars. I get it.

Speaker 3 It is like there is a circus aspect, but maybe just don't get so upset. Like you had

Speaker 3 45 years.

Speaker 12 I had seven years when i did drive time radio in jacksonville when he was at his heyday and it was gold for seven years and i'm telling you i had people calling in i'm coming to the studio i'm kicking your ass i'm going to be waiting outside for you and and his father called me off air a couple times because i mocked being homeschooled and and being daddy on the practice field and everything else so i had I had a, believe me, I had seven years of that and it was amazing to watch.

Speaker 12 And then one day I went to a golf tournament and Mark Brunel put me in the golf cart with his dad for 18 oh

Speaker 12 oh my gosh. Yeah, it was Timmy this, Timmy that, Timmy this, Timmy that, Timmy this.
And I'm, yes. And he said, it was draft, it was draft week.

Speaker 12 And he said, where do you think he's going to get drafted? And I go, I don't know, second round. He goes, where do you think he should get drafted? I go, sixth or seventh.

Speaker 3 I told him. But let's just at least say this.
Tim Tebow is one of the greatest college football players of all time.

Speaker 12 No question. Okay.
No doubt. Nobody could take that away from him.
Just like you guys, you remember Danny Werfel. Remember how great he was as a college quarterback?

Speaker 12 He couldn't play in the league. Yeah.
He could not play in the league.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Go ahead.

Speaker 4 I was just going to say, when it comes to Tebow in Jacksonville, when you were there, there's a bunch of pictures from that one rally that they had outside the stadium where it was like Tebow to the Jaguars.

Speaker 4 Why not? I think that's what the name of the entire movement was because the Jags were so bad at the time.

Speaker 4 This is pre-Blake Bortles, by the way. So like before the golden era.
And they were just like, why not? What's the worst thing that can happen?

Speaker 4 There was like a plane that flew overhead with a banner saying, please sign Tim Tebow. You were out there with the Tebow lovers and you were wearing the jorts.
That's where those pictures came from.

Speaker 8 They weren't jorts.

Speaker 4 They're the jorts that you can fit an iPad into with the giant pockets on them.

Speaker 12 They had a pocket, but I told you before, those were not jorts. I've never worn jorts ever.

Speaker 8 I promise you.

Speaker 8 They were not jorts.

Speaker 3 There were graphic evidence. What were they?

Speaker 12 They were like fishing shorts is exactly what they were.

Speaker 3 And were you fishing?

Speaker 3 No, i was walking into the building did you get a chance have you ever met tim tebau

Speaker 3 uh briefly how'd that go but i've um hello niceties i'm i mean look i'm nice i'm not gonna be mean to him he's not gonna be mean to me you're not nice all right wait i am nice no you're not uh that's why we love you let's talk about i want to uh talk about two other things in the league real quick aaron rodgers Is he going to be on the Green Bay Packers week one?

Speaker 3 He will be. They're dug in.

Speaker 12 And they should be dug in. Why would you trade him? Why? Because he doesn't want to be there.
Look, I love Aaron Rodgers. I think he's a great player.
He had a wonderful season.

Speaker 12 But you signed a contract. A, yes, you want more money.

Speaker 12 If they offer you to make you the highest paid player in the league, which I think they're willing to do, at least the high, you know, in terms of the structure of the contract, then why not sign it and go play?

Speaker 12 What's your end game? Where do you want to go? What's the best case scenario for you? He's not going to the 49ers now. He's not going to the Rams or the Chargers.
So where's he going? The Raiders?

Speaker 12 Is Is that a better situation for him? No, it's not. The Broncos, maybe, but do you want to be in Denver? I just don't think he's thinking this out.
Why? Because they cut Jake Kumaro.

Speaker 12 A quarterback shouldn't have any input into who's being cut and who's not being cut. They're his buddies.
When you cut your buddies, you cut. Look, they go.
Guys are going to go.

Speaker 12 He should not have the input on that. He will play for the Packers.

Speaker 4 Why do you think that he doesn't want to be in Denver, even though he says that he does?

Speaker 12 No, I don't think

Speaker 12 that he doesn't want to be in Denver. I'm just saying, is that a much better better situation than Green Bay?

Speaker 3 No, probably not.

Speaker 4 I think he's just in the mindset of he would rather be somewhere else than where he is right now. So it's like the lesser of two evils or the devil you don't want.

Speaker 12 Why?

Speaker 12 Okay, nobody is, everybody's in agreement that Jordan Love was a terrible pick. Terrible pick.

Speaker 12 If Aaron Rodgers plays at an MVP level for the next three years, and he told me once he wants to play till he's 40, if he does that, then Jordan Love is a terrible pick, and we all thought it was.

Speaker 12 But cast that aside, what else don't you like? You played an entire season there. You won an an MVP.
You're within a whisker going to the Super Bowl. What is bothering you? Speak up.
Tell us what.

Speaker 12 Is it the GM? Nobody has to get along with the GM. Guys don't really talk to the general manager much when you're walking through the hallways.
Hey, how you doing? You don't have to interact with him.

Speaker 12 You have to get along with your coaches. And so what's his endgame? I don't get it.
Why is he angry at the organization? For the love pick, I get it.

Speaker 12 For other stuff, you play the whole year after the love pick.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 What about your relationship with Mike Florio right now? Because Florio thought that it was totally bush league of Aaron Rodgers to be going after the GM's job.

Speaker 4 He said that was like the one line that you don't cross in the league. I'd never heard that before, but I'm curious to know if you agree with your best friend, Mike, or not.

Speaker 12 Look, Mike's right on that one. I don't think these guys should be good.
Quarterbacks should not be making decisions as it relates to personnel and who should be hired.

Speaker 12 I said that all along with Deshaun Watson. I said, Deshaun Watson signed a contract in October with the same team he's complaining about, and then he won it out.
Well, you can't have it both ways.

Speaker 12 What do you want? What is your end game? You don't trade franchise quarterbacks. I don't care how unhappy they are.

Speaker 12 The one guy who has a legitimate gripe and beef is Russell Wilson in large part because of the way they play. He should be throwing the ball all over the place.
They want to run the ball.

Speaker 12 So he can complain about that, but he shouldn't be complaining about who's making the decisions and what the decisions are being made.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Next question that I had for you, the draft. Who had, of the five quarterbacks taken in the first round, who do you think has the best fit? And what was the pick that you liked the most?

Speaker 12 Of the quarterbacks, I like the Bears getting fields.

Speaker 3 That was a setup. Thank God.

Speaker 12 I love Justin Fields.

Speaker 12 Lawrence is the clear one. Justin Fields, in my mind, is the two.
And all the lead up to the draft, picking apart, I didn't get it. He's accurate.
He's smart. He's tough.
He's athletic. He's big.

Speaker 12 He will be a darn good quarterback. The Bears haven't had one since Sid Luckman.

Speaker 8 They finally have one.

Speaker 3 And we should just throw this out there.

Speaker 3 It has nothing to do with the the fact that you just complimented the Bears and Justin Fields, but you do watch the tape, correct? All of them.

Speaker 12 Every one of them.

Speaker 3 I knew that.

Speaker 12 I like Lawrence one, him two,

Speaker 12 Wilson three, and then probably Mac Jones. And I think Trey Lance is a project, and people will kill me for that.
I would have taken him in the first round.

Speaker 12 I would not have given up two first-round picks to go up and take him.

Speaker 12 He's raw. He needs a lot of seasoning.
He's got weird mechanics. There's a chance he can be good, but it's going to take a little time.

Speaker 4 What about Zach Wilson? Because it was kind of weird.

Speaker 4 We didn't really talk about it that much leading up to the draft, but in the last six months, it just became an accepted fact that Zach Wilson was going to go to the Jets.

Speaker 4 And we saw some of the stuff at his pro day where he made that one throw across his body like 70 yards down the film or down the field.

Speaker 4 But as a guy that watches the film, what did you see from him that would either justify him going that high or do you think they reached on him?

Speaker 12 No, I don't think they reached on him. Again, I would have taken Fields, but he's a gunslinger.

Speaker 12 If you want a gunslinger, a guy's going to rip it, take chances, and throw it in a tight windows, take him. My concern with him is he's little.

Speaker 12 Look, I'm not talking about height. I'm talking about his body, his frame, and he's been injured a couple times already.
That's always a concern. So that's my biggest concern with him.

Speaker 12 But if you want to see a guy rip it and throw it in a tight windows, I get it. He also didn't play great competition.
And remember when Josh Allen came out, that was the knock on Josh Allen.

Speaker 12 He didn't play against great competition. He's dispelled that notion.
And I think he was the best quarterback in that class. I said it all along.
I still believe that.

Speaker 12 But Zach Wilson has to do some proving to make people believe that.

Speaker 4 What about the fact that he wasn't a captain at BYU? Does that concern you?

Speaker 12 No, I think, you know what? You guys played sports. You've been around sports.
The Rah-Rah captain guy. Why do you want to be that guy anyway?

Speaker 3 Rah-Rah. It's kind of weird, though.
Is that like Tebow?

Speaker 4 Tim Tebow. Yeah, it sounds like you really have a type, and it's not the guy that is the traditional leader.

Speaker 3 You don't like leaders.

Speaker 4 You like a team that's just a bunch of followers, Pete.

Speaker 12 No, I like a team that's a bunch of self-starters. Do it yourself.
You don't need somebody in your ear telling you what to do. Go do it.

Speaker 12 You know, you got to knock the snot out of the guy across from you. Go knock the snot out of him.
I don't need the guy next to me telling me what to do, nor would you guys.

Speaker 12 I wouldn't think, knowing you guys the way I know you, I don't think you're like that.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 12 one of you might be a follower.

Speaker 3 Who's the follower? No, we're not. Hank follows starters.

Speaker 4 Hank follows Jake. Yeah, Jake, yeah.
Mostly.

Speaker 4 But seriously, does that not, it is kind of weird for a quarterback who's that good, who's going to get drafted number two overall,

Speaker 4 the face of your program at the time of BYU, to not be elected a captain by his teammates. That's kind of strange.

Speaker 12 You got to remember, though, leading into that season, he wasn't exactly seen as a, you know, top quarterback either.

Speaker 12 There was some talk that he was just a guy, and maybe they didn't think he was a guy that was worth being nominated for captain.

Speaker 12 Look, Coughlin back in the day, and guys, I know they used to draft guys based on being captains. I never believed that.
I just don't buy into that.

Speaker 3 Wait, so

Speaker 3 can you become a guy overnight then?

Speaker 12 You can. I mean, it takes work, but he worked at it.
I give him credit. See what he did.
He drove back and forth to California and worked with his quarterback coach in the offseason.

Speaker 12 You can make yourself into a good player. Look, Mac Jones, Joe Burrow, they were two guys that made themselves into good players and came out of nowhere.
It'll probably happen again next year.

Speaker 12 That's just the nature of the position.

Speaker 4 Do you think that Trey Lance is going to be relied upon to do like a lot of the stuff that RG3 was doing when he was a rookie in Washington?

Speaker 4 Because it's Kyle Shanahan who really kind of brought the read option to the game, which I know you hated that year. You hated RG3.
You hated Russell Wilson.

Speaker 4 You hated any guy that ran with a football. You're like, this isn't quarterback.
It's going to, the pendulum is going to swing back eventually. It's a fad.

Speaker 4 But I feel like Kyle Shanahan is going to bring back the read option big time with Trey Lance.

Speaker 12 I don't think he's going to bring back the read option. He'll put more runs into it.

Speaker 12 What he's going to bring back is the ability of the quarterback to run and help create space, which is what the game has become. Look,

Speaker 12 I was one of the first guys. You know me.
I criticized that read auction garbage. I hated it.
But the way these guys move around now and run with the spread offenses, that's fine. I get it.

Speaker 12 I understand that. Everybody throws on the move.
The only guy who doesn't is Brady.

Speaker 12 The guys that don't move are few and far between anymore because you have to move because the defenses are so fast and so athletic.

Speaker 3 All right. Last question.

Speaker 3 What's the block total up to on your Twitter now?

Speaker 12 You know, I had a lot yesterday.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Can you look, can you look it up? Can you look it up?

Speaker 12 I don't think you can.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, it tells you how many accounts you have blocked. Yeah.

Speaker 3 On your phone.

Speaker 3 You want to do an over-under? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
Okay.

Speaker 4 I'm going to say, I think you've got 540 people blocking.

Speaker 3 Oh, I think he's got two.

Speaker 3 Okay,

Speaker 12 where do you find the blocks?

Speaker 3 All right, I see. Pull up your phone.
I think it's under privacy.

Speaker 4 I'm checking mine right now.

Speaker 3 Profile. Privacy.

Speaker 12 Oh, there it is. What did you say the over under?

Speaker 3 I said 2,000.

Speaker 4 PFT said 500.

Speaker 3 540.

Speaker 12 You're both taking the under

Speaker 12 2,360 miles.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 That's amazing.

Speaker 12 You weren't even close, PFT. You weren't even close.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 I don't know what got into me, Pete, but one thing that I really enjoy about you is you tell people when you're blocking them.

Speaker 12 Maybe not not every time but but frequently you'll be like see ya usually get a little creative sometimes with the see ya like some reverend said something to me once and i said uh here i got something for your collection basket for sunday it's a see ya and i threw him

Speaker 12 so i try and get a little creative with him but if you get if you get really nasty i'll block most of the time i won't block you unless you go to real nasty can we have you well that's just not true that's 2316 people disagree that's how many people are nasty they're nasty can we get get you to unblock one person?

Speaker 4 Who's that? I don't know, just one person. Like maybe the first person that

Speaker 4 tweets at Jake after the episode comes out. And we'll text you.
When you hear the sound of my voice, tweet at Jake and say, Pete, unblock me.

Speaker 12 Okay, now that you've picked apart me, I got something to pick apart with you, people. Hey, stop with it.
I'm on pellet time. We're in a group racing thing.

Speaker 3 Look at me. I beat you.

Speaker 12 I beat you today. Woo.
Hey, guys, jump on. We're in a race.

Speaker 3 Come on.

Speaker 12 Okay, during the pandemic, I get it. Yeah.
Couldn't do much, but enough is enough.

Speaker 4 Well, I haven't done it since like maybe August. So since football season started.

Speaker 12 What'd you do? You made it a coat rack?

Speaker 4 No, I just got fat. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Basically.

Speaker 4 It sits in my corner. It collects dust.
I get on there like once a month, but I just don't have the time or really the.

Speaker 12 Okay, so you were a pan, but you were a pandemic guy. Yeah.
Got into it.

Speaker 4 There was literally no other way that I could exercise for a little bit in New York.

Speaker 4 And then it just, it was partially i got sick of it and then partially i got sick of the other types of people that were on twitter all the time posting their peloton scores and i was like thank you i cannot be involved in this anymore thank you thank you so i don't i i don't you got your wish pete now you got a three thousand dollar coat rack exactly

Speaker 3 perfect um

Speaker 4 i got one last last question for you what about this idea for tim tebow he's a lucky guy like there's it's undeniable everywhere he goes there always seems to be like one or two things extremely lucky that happened to him.

Speaker 4 He'll like save somebody's life by hitting a foul ball into them when they're choking on a hot dog in AAA. He's like saved people's lives on airplanes.

Speaker 3 Touchdown to Demarius Thomas.

Speaker 4 The touchdown to Demarius Thomas. He's got a horseshoe shoved up his ass.
What if you brought him in as a coin toss specialist where he just called the toss every game?

Speaker 12 Now that might be a good plan for him. I think that might work.

Speaker 3 I'd be okay with that.

Speaker 12 Yeah, that's a skill set because you're right. He's a little bit lucky.
He's had a nice, and some people will say he earned the luck.

Speaker 12 You know, you got to work to get the luck, but that might be a good job for him. But coach, somebody said coach, leadership, counsel, all his other groups.
Nobody wants to hear that garbage. Nobody.

Speaker 12 If you can't play, you don't listen. Nobody listens.

Speaker 12 Do you guys listen to people that aren't productive in your business and your job?

Speaker 3 You don't. No.
Of course not.

Speaker 12 Definitely. If you have a lazy ass that works at Barstool and he comes over to you and says, hey guys, today's the day we're going to do this.
And you look at him and you go, get the hell out of here.

Speaker 12 I I don't need to listen to you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, literally, get the hell out of here for a month. Of course.
Right. Of course.
Right.

Speaker 12 By the way, who's there's no weight on that over back behind you. You got anything on there?

Speaker 3 You can't. You don't know about lifting weights.

Speaker 4 Pete,

Speaker 4 you should not have brought up the bench press because I haven't thought about this for years. But you remember the time when you posted how much you bench online one time? And it was a picture.

Speaker 4 You were at the gym and you had a plate on each side. And then you put a five-pound plate on both sides of it.
So you got your total up to like 145.

Speaker 4 And I have never seen anybody seriously use a five-pound plate at the gym except for you before.

Speaker 12 A, uh, back in the day, don't do it anymore because I'm old, my joints can't take it. I used to do 325, so don't go there.

Speaker 3 And B, you got short arms.

Speaker 3 Oh, here he goes. He's got short arms.

Speaker 3 It's always the tall guy that yells out the short arms.

Speaker 12 Yeah. But you're right, I do.
But I don't do that. I don't lift heavy like that anymore either.
No way. Okay.
Too bad. It kills your joints.

Speaker 3 But what about the five-pound accusation? That's it.

Speaker 12 I mean, okay, if it's three, okay, if I want to go up from three plates on each side and maybe try a five-pound on each side, I would do that.

Speaker 3 I've done that.

Speaker 4 I don't think it was three plates on each side at the time. This is like five years ago.

Speaker 3 And you actually said, you told me I don't lift heavy anymore. It's a warm up set.
It's like in a warm-up.

Speaker 12 Yeah. I don't lift heavy anymore, but I can still go do 225 five times.

Speaker 3 Easy. Easy.

Speaker 4 Pete, you're just, you remind me of all sorts of stuff in our past. We still haven't done the push-up contest.

Speaker 12 No, because you wanted to drink every time we did it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's true. It's a fact.

Speaker 12 Yeah. I bet you've cut down on your drinking.
I have.

Speaker 4 I've had to. Yeah.
I got kidney stones now.

Speaker 12 You know what else? Two, you're old. We get older, man.

Speaker 3 You can't recover. You can't recover.
30 is just enough.

Speaker 12 I mean, this guy, this guy, every Saturday.

Speaker 12 It's like he's got a pot of gold at the end of the race.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you like that.

Speaker 3 I don't drink my calories. I eat them.

Speaker 12 So do I. Yeah.
I'm exactly the same way.

Speaker 3 Yeah. All right, Pete.
Always fun to catch up with you. We appreciate it.
And we'll talk soon.

Speaker 12 You miss me. I do.

Speaker 3 I miss you. I think you're fine.
You crack me up. You crack me up.

Speaker 12 Well, maybe one day when we're all out again, we can see each other again somewhere.

Speaker 3 Perfect. Yes.
Perfect.

Speaker 4 You know what we should do, Pete? We should go to Vegas together. We should go to the Legion Stadium when it opens up and hit the club.

Speaker 12 I would love to go to the club. That would be good.

Speaker 3 Bring your finest pair of cargo shorts. Yeah.
No, I wouldn't. On a Hakasana.

Speaker 12 Oh, now they're cargo shorts. And before they were George.
So now you've got

Speaker 4 absolutely George.

Speaker 3 But they were not George.

Speaker 4 We'll go to the stadium, and they got a club set up in the stadium. We'll get bottle service.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 that would be a familiar absolute. Yeah, we'll take some ecstasy.
It'll be sick.

Speaker 3 Look at your baby. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. Let's joke.
Let's joke. Let's joke for Pete.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Pete. All right, guys.

Speaker 3 See ya.

Speaker 3 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Mason Gordon.
And you're probably saying to yourself, might not know that name off the top of my head.

Speaker 3 Well, you should, because he is the inventor of Slam Ball, a game that electrified the nation, a game that I think we'll get into all of it is still around and we need to revive. But this is awesome.

Speaker 8 We were just talking real quick before we started that we remember Slam Ball and having it be just incredible for people who don't know let's actually just do that for people who don't know what slam ball is can you give us the quick how it started what it looked like and then we'll pick up from there yeah absolutely you know in putting slam ball together i really looked at ufc as this new combination of different pugilistic styles right so if you took all these different martial arts and threw it into a blender and you could create something new well i love team sports i grew up with team sports So my whole thing was: how could I take the best aspects of football, basketball, hockey, and throw them into a blender and add in a little bit of a video game mentality?

Speaker 8 Because that was my other great love. And then it turned into something completely new, and that was Slam Ball.
So if you see bits of Slam Ball on the internet,

Speaker 8 you know, see old games and things like that. A lot of people say it looks like a real-life version of NBA Jam or 2K Cages or something along those lines.

Speaker 8 It's actually a game that's played full contact hockey style substitutions four on four on a spring-loaded surface where the floor is actually got springs underneath it.

Speaker 8 And then you're attacking these spring beds or competition Olympic trampolines that launch you up to 17 feet in the air where you joust with the defender high above the rim and try to slam the ball through.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 it's got, it's taken on this kind of mythic quality over the years.

Speaker 8 And it's something that's really really been kept alive through the fandom on the internet.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it honestly sounds like something an insane seven-year-old would come up with in his backyard.

Speaker 4 It sounds like, you know, the old rules that you would have on a trampoline, you basically just like toss some balls out there and then kind of invent it as you go along.

Speaker 4 But Slam Ball kind of like turned it into an organized sport. When you were coming up with it,

Speaker 4 did you have trouble figuring out like who the first people were that were going to be the guinea pigs to get out there and try this out? Or were you like, you know what? I'm inventing it.

Speaker 4 I'm going to be one of the first ones out of the court.

Speaker 8 court well i was obsessed with dunking right like there's a whole story i'll tell you guys sometime about how tell it now tell it now well i i almost died the first time i dunked a basketball literally this is true i was i was 15 years old uh i got invited by a couple of my friends who are african-american uh to come play basketball at a court in Jacksonville, Florida, a place called University Park.

Speaker 8 So I went went out there and it was July 4th. You know, there's all kinds of people all around

Speaker 8 and I'm getting into this like, you know, the pretty intense game. I'm the only white guy there.

Speaker 8 My black friends like neglected to mention that I'd be the only white guy, you know, within 10 miles. So I'm playing in this game and this guy is just...

Speaker 8 just he he's he's definitely giving me work on the block and stuff and hitting all these crazy shots And every time he does, he's like, yeah, you know, take that white boy. Yeah, white boy.

Speaker 8 Yeah, white boy. And so

Speaker 8 I'm just trying to play the game. I'm trying to do as best I can.
And I remember I catch a rebound. I pass it to my friend, Vernon, on the right side.

Speaker 8 He passes it to Jeff on the left side and he shovels me the ball. And I had the ball in the middle.
And I never even thought about dunking the ball before.

Speaker 8 But there was this guy who'd been talking shit to me all day. And he's just sitting there under the rim.
So I just jumped as high as I could and he jumped.

Speaker 8 And it was like a Tom Chambers thing where my knee like went into his chest and I went up higher than I probably could have jumped. And I just smashed it as hard as I possibly could.

Speaker 8 And everybody lost their mind.

Speaker 3 They're like, oh, oh, you got dunked on all this stuff.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 8 So he like, so I kind of like said, muttered something to him and he was like, oh yeah, oh yeah. And he like walked away.

Speaker 8 And so everybody was kind of patting me on the back.

Speaker 8 and then he came back with a bunch of like guys in like white crisp white t-shirts and it looked really really menacing so they so vernon and jeff were like you know what did you say to him and i said i said take that black boy and he was like

Speaker 8 what's like i was like what white boy black boy it's a proportionate response right yeah

Speaker 3 get the out of here now

Speaker 8 so i just went running for my car because these dudes were coming after me and i managed to get to the car. The guy was behind me.
He was trying to hold my door open.

Speaker 8 And when I heard gunshots, I thought somebody shot me. And it was actually like an off-duty police officer who came over from one of the barbecue pits.

Speaker 8 And he was just like, I was like, hey, thank you, officer. And the officer was just like, go, go.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 So I spent like most of my life just being obsessed with dunking. Dunking had this like crazy outsized like emotional like component for me.

Speaker 8 so i worked really hard to be able to dunk and i would i would i got to where i could really do it legitimately and i would just go from court to court to find people who didn't know me where i could try to like sneak in a facial here and there right um so i so i really i i didn't i wasn't a great basketball player by any means but i knew about dunking i was sort of fascinated by it and i had these dreams about like kind of you know two players going up in the air and there was like a crazy collision and then like they fell out of frame.

Speaker 8 And I was like,

Speaker 8 it was always different. Like it was always kind of exciting.
So I knew the kind of players that I wanted when I, when I set out to create Slamball.

Speaker 8 I wanted to create that dream in reality and kind of like take the aesthetics of NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, and bring it into real life, a real flesh and blood sport, right?

Speaker 8 So I think that idea was really kind of exciting. And so I was always looking for that guy.

Speaker 8 You know, on your favorite basketball team, there's like that eighth guy, you know, coming off the bench that's the freakish, most freakish athlete there is.

Speaker 8 And you're like, why can't he hit a 19-foot jump shot and stay on the court, right? But he's so exciting. He's got so much God-given athletic ability.

Speaker 8 And my idea was like, I want to create a league full of those guys, guys that their first.

Speaker 8 their first thought, second thought, and third thought was to attack the rim and make something exciting happen. And then everything else would be kind of a specialist adjunct to that idea.

Speaker 3 So that, I mean, that's incredible that it all comes. I understand it comes from dunking because if you watch one second of slam ball, that's where all the action is.

Speaker 3 It's at the rim, guys flying in the air.

Speaker 3 So you come up with this idea, and it was crazy how quickly it feels like it went from an idea that you came up with to being actually a league on TV, on Spike TV.

Speaker 3 Were you surprised how fast that happened or were you like

Speaker 8 did people just hear your pitch and like yeah this makes sense this will be fun let's do it yeah well I was 26 when I came up with slam ball right so I was a maniac I thought I thought that you know anything we tried was gonna work right so I actually built the first court myself with like spare parts from like gymnastics facilities and stuff like that so i would go around and i would go to an old gymnastics facility and I'd be like, hey, you've got a new gymnastics floor and an old gymnastics floor.

Speaker 8 Me and my buddies could come out here and take that old gymnastics floor out of here. I don't know.
You could put a pommel horse there or something. And

Speaker 8 they actually went for it. I was able to get all these spare parts and I was able to put together the first slam ball court with like lumber, like

Speaker 8 discount lumber from Home Depot and the whole nine yards, right? This was such a bad idea, you guys. Like

Speaker 8 I had no engineering background whatsoever. I remember specifically in the first court that we built, the first like practice court, it was like this half court thing.

Speaker 8 Like, I passed the guy, one of our guys passed the guy a ball, and he actually fell through the floor. And the ball just kind of zipped past him and like hit the wall.

Speaker 8 So, so shit like that was going down left, right, and center.

Speaker 8 Um, but finally, uh we were able to prove that this thing was like exciting enough that that and had enough potential that we could build the first full court, which we did in East LA.

Speaker 8 And I populated it with the most athletic guys I could find. I was, you know, a hooper that was around town and stuff like that.

Speaker 8 And I brought in like the guy that was like six foot eight and had a 40 inch vertical and stuff like that and fell out, you know, of his scholarship for some weird reason.

Speaker 8 And I was able to cobble together a bunch of guys like that who had super athleticism and then stacked on top of what the spring beds and the trampolines could do.

Speaker 8 Wow, you really had something special. And hilariously, in that first court,

Speaker 8 we kind of took over this gym, that first full court in East LA. We had kind of taken over this gym.
So a couple people like came in and they like watched us.

Speaker 8 practice for a couple hours and we didn't really think about what was going on but they left and they came back with like 20 friends so within like three or four days we were playing in front of like a thousand people in east la and we invited some television people down And that's where we got a television deal right there in the warehouse.

Speaker 8 And we hadn't even figured out the rules yet.

Speaker 8 Literally, like, I'm just trying to keep my guys from like, for, you know, coming back every day and working hard.

Speaker 8 And it was a little tricky because slam ball at its core is, you know, especially in the United States, is really like basketball and football culture is colliding, right? And can you do that?

Speaker 8 Could you get basketball players and football players to play on the same court together with like full contact rules and so we had like just a couple guys that were football players and they were blowing up the basketball players right and the basketball players just wanted to fight and the football players just wanted to keep going so it was kind of it was kind of like this weird thing where i was like wow i got to find some way to like mix this up um so i basically like put myself into the game and I told pulled the football guys aside.

Speaker 8 I was like, listen, this next game, just beat the shit out of me. Like hit me left everywhere you can, right? Hit me into the glass, hit me into the, into the walls, whatever you can do, right?

Speaker 8 And so they did it.

Speaker 8 And the basketball players were like, well, if he can take it, then we can take it. And so you would think they would be nicer to me given that I signed their checks, but no, that wasn't the case.

Speaker 4 So what were the insurance rates like on that first court? I have to imagine that you probably couldn't find anybody that would be like, yeah, you know what, we'll take care of the liability here.

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah you know it wasn't that much of a problem early on they were like oh yeah live action video game that sounds good i mean you know it's like ninja warrior and those types of things all kind of live in the same same universe ufc all kind of lives in the same universe so i think uh the insurance companies were like yeah you know let's let's see how it works out well we're willing to give this thing a try and what's interesting is that you would think watching slam ball that you would have you know tremendous injury rates but we actually don't because of the spring floor, a lot of times you don't get hurt when you get hit.

Speaker 8 You get hurt when you hit the ground because the ground doesn't move, right?

Speaker 8 So the combination of the spring floor and obviously the spring beds creates a really interesting environment where

Speaker 8 you can get into kind of a collision in the air and fall into a spring bed, and it turns into like a sprain instead of a break. And we see that a lot.

Speaker 3 We're able to have injury rates that are much closer to basketball than what you'd see in say football or hockey yeah so all right so you get on tv uh it kind of captures america for a moment there and then what happens next like what is the where did slam ball maybe uh not reach that next level even though it was successful because it you literally invented a sport in a league out of thin air but where like if you could point to a moment where you're like all right if this had gone differently it maybe still is really really popular Instead, it's something that everyone looks back at and is like, that was cool.

Speaker 8 Yeah,

Speaker 8 we thought we were doing something really special. That first year, we had great ratings.
It got picked up for a second year on Spike TV. We're really excited about that.

Speaker 8 Every time we've gotten up to bat in like, you know, mass market opportunities, the numbers do exceptionally well.

Speaker 8 So we were really excited to see the, you know, second season numbers and stuff like that. At the time, Spike TV, the only thing that was really, really working on Spike TV was wrestling.

Speaker 8 So there was this thought that like, could we make Slamball more like wrestling?

Speaker 8 And we were sports guys and we were getting, you know, 10,000 emails a week from people who were like, where can I play? How can I get a jersey? When's the video game coming out? Right.

Speaker 8 So we thought we had a real sport on our hands and we wanted to stick to that ethos.

Speaker 8 So we chose to like walk away from that opportunity and, you know, set it up in a different way, which we did some years years later with IMG, which is one of the biggest sports marketing companies in the world.

Speaker 8 We were able to put our championship game on CBS head-to-head with the NFL over on Fox, Cowboys Giants, by the way. And we like tripled our ratings projection.

Speaker 8 So that's what I mean when I say, like, every time we've gotten a big opportunity, it's really popped.

Speaker 8 And now we've been able to go over to China, be able to set up real grassroots over there, really understand the training program, the safety protocols, protocols the safety equipment so we think we're in a totally different position now and people just keep clamoring for slam ball to come back i like to say we like pressed a button in the culture back then and it's never really been um unpressed so you know slam ball was was uh uh trending last week and all my interns were like you should go on part of my tape and my intern Jacob was like PMT PMT would go off on this and so I uh I reached out to hank and he was like, Would you want me to come on and talk about slam ball?

Speaker 8 And he was like, Yes, full stop. Yeah, totally thought up until 10 minutes ago that it was a practical joke.

Speaker 4 So, wait, there are always rumors that pop up because I've heard people talk about slam ball in the last, you know, like six to seven years. Give me a percentage.

Speaker 4 What percentage do you think that we'll be able to get slam ball on television here in the United States in the next five years?

Speaker 8 Oh, 100%, 100%.

Speaker 3 I can actually

Speaker 3 break some news right here on TMC.

Speaker 8 And And so

Speaker 8 I can't say any names, right? I'm contractually barred from saying any names, but there is a legitimate Slam Ball movie.

Speaker 8 that's in development right now at a major studio with an A-list filmmaker involved and a legit movie star who grew up with Slam Ball, not unlike you guys, and like thinks it's one of the coolest things ever.

Speaker 8 So that's in the works right now. There's a wage.

Speaker 4 What's that? Nicholas Cage.

Speaker 8 No, not Nick Cage. But

Speaker 3 no.

Speaker 4 Rob Schneider.

Speaker 3 Rob Schneider, no. Okay.
One more.

Speaker 3 Blake Griffin.

Speaker 8 Blake Griffin, definitely not.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 Martin Scorsese.

Speaker 8 It is not Martin Scorsese.

Speaker 3 That was my guess. Damn.

Speaker 8 But

Speaker 8 it is going to be great. We're really excited about it.
We're pouring a lot into it. And there's a bunch of people that are really serious about bringing Slam Ball back in a more organized way.

Speaker 8 If you remember, UFC like came out,

Speaker 8 had a moment and then had to go away for a while before it could, it was really demand, people demanded that it came back and it was able to kind of take over the culture.

Speaker 8 So we think we're in that moment right now.

Speaker 4 I also think that there's like a big resurgence of like nostalgia for exactly that time period right now. So like five years ago, we were talking about the 90s.

Speaker 4 Now everything like early 2000s is starting to come back. And I know people my age would absolutely kill to see slam ball again.

Speaker 3 Well, and also it's weirdly,

Speaker 3 I mean, it will never compete with true basketball, but it is very funny to think about NBA now, like one of the big complaints is everyone just shooting threes all the time, and it's outside the three-point line or layups.

Speaker 3 Slam balls just contact

Speaker 3 at the rim, which you don't get as much. So maybe that's what, like, tapping into that, where it's true, like old school basketball, so to speak.

Speaker 8 Yeah, well, I mean, slam ball, we like to say that the defense is as exciting as the offense because you basically have a stopper, which is kind of like a trailer on offense.

Speaker 8 But his job is to protect the rim, like a goalie in hockey or soccer or something like that. So his job is to be this.

Speaker 8 We've had guys that are like 610, 285 in that position, right? So their job is to be ferocious and put themselves between the attacking player and the rim over and over again.

Speaker 8 The record for slam ball is 36 blocks in a group.

Speaker 8 So, so, so, you know, the idea is that the defense is just as exciting. The perimeter defense is full contact.
Guys get after it. And obviously, there's that kind of head-hunting mentality in the air.

Speaker 8 So, we think that, like, right now is a great time because we launched really before social media, before like, you know, being dunking on someone was, you know, part of the mass culture nomenclature.

Speaker 8 So, we think that we think that the sport's really lining up for a perfect sort of resurgence.

Speaker 3 What's What's the rule change or rule changes that you had to make in Slam Ball from the original concept that you're like, all right, we have to change this and it was for the better?

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah. There was a thing called drifting where a defensive player would.
So the idea is that, you know, this guy attacks and the defender goes up to stop him at the rim.

Speaker 8 So the defender kind of figured out that he's this big, strong guy and usually like stronger than the guy attacking him. So he just jumps straight into the guy.

Speaker 8 And it was like two missiles, like hitting head to head. So, we had to make this rule where you had to make a play on the ball.
You couldn't just like tackle the guy in midair.

Speaker 8 And then you had to go vertical in order to try to protect the rim. So, that was one of the rules.
We call it drifting if the guy goes out.

Speaker 3 Okay, so how about a rule that made the game better, though? That sounded like it made the game worse.

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 3 yeah, exactly.

Speaker 8 But the thing is, you know, we have like this culture in Slam Ball where, you know, we're all protecting each other first and foremost, right?

Speaker 8 And I love my, I love my Slam Ball guys because they come from football, basketball backgrounds. Most of them played at big programs.

Speaker 8 They played at basketball at Kansas or football at USC or Clemson or something like that. So guys are bringing like real competitive juices to this thing and they get after it.

Speaker 8 But, you know, we all respect each other. It's kind of like the martial arts thing in MMA.

Speaker 8 And guys, guys go out there and look to put on the best possible competitive game where they're doing anything and everything to win.

Speaker 8 But we always want to, we always want to make sure it's safety first.

Speaker 3 I love, by the way, I love the quote that you had that the reason why Slam Ball didn't succeed the first time was it was just too early.

Speaker 3 That's really like, that's really when your genius level, like the world wasn't ready for Slam Ball.

Speaker 8 Well, I mean, thanks for saying that. I think

Speaker 3 you said that. You said that.
Well, yeah, but

Speaker 3 I didn't say genius, but I'm glad you worked that in.

Speaker 8 But what was really amazing that I've seen is in China, right? So we've created in China a number of facilities where people can come and learn Slam Ball and play Slam Ball with their friends.

Speaker 8 And that we think is just the ultimate. Because it's everybody.
So it's like, we asked, it's like, why do you like to hang out at Slam Ball?

Speaker 8 It's like, we like to take videos of each other and post it on Weibua because it gets us more attention from girls.

Speaker 8 So it all foots to a good place.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Is there a difference in style between the Chinese slam ball and American slam ball?

Speaker 8 Well, it's interesting because in America, we really see slam ball as like, you know, I think I said this before, basketball and football cultures colliding, which is a really tricky alchemy, right?

Speaker 8 But the two most obsessive sports in China are actually basketball and gymnastics, right? So they all grow up with some kind of rudimentary gymnastics, rudimentary body control.

Speaker 8 So we see a lot of guys in China that are really more about the crazy aerial stuff. And we had a number of guys, this one guy, Liu Fong, in China, was an absolute monster.

Speaker 8 He was almost the MVP of Series 5, which we held just a few years ago in arenas in China.

Speaker 4 I kind of like the idea of having different cultures have their different styles of slam ball, like kind of growing up insulated from everyone else. And then maybe you were thinking too small.

Speaker 4 Maybe instead of professional slam ball league, you just skip right to a World Cup. You get 32 teams in there.

Speaker 8 That's exactly where we want to go with it. If you look other than a goal in soccer, the slam dunk is the sports highlight that crosses every barrier, every social and political and

Speaker 8 geographic barrier. So we think, and

Speaker 8 we know this from

Speaker 8 the data that we've received, that there's a global audience for slam ball there's a global population that wants to participate in it and we love this idea of doing summer slam ball could be as early as next year guys summer slam ball 2022 and that would be our our us media package and then we go out to a global strateg a global schedule after that i love it i'm all in on slam ball coming back do you need an announcer because we have an announcer here with us right now jake marsh will be the voice of slam ball if you'll allow him like he actually he went to Syracuse.

Speaker 3 He went to Syracuse. He got his Big J degree.
He's a great play-by-play man.

Speaker 3 I'm just saying, like, this is important because you need someone to be the voice of the sport. A big game voice.
Yeah, a big game voice. So just a thought.

Speaker 8 Speak it into existence. It's not just a thought.

Speaker 3 I can send my reel. I'll do tapes.
He'll send his real. He'll do tapes.
He doesn't speak Chinese. Jake will learn Chinese.
He'll learn Chinese if he has to.

Speaker 8 There you go.

Speaker 3 Give him some Chinese, Jake. Give him some Chinese.
Nihao. Nihao.
There we go. Boom.
Boom.

Speaker 4 Go Shi Fatsa. Did you hear that?

Speaker 3 Did you hear the Chinese? Yeah. That's good.

Speaker 8 You know, I lived in China for over a year and I just barely learned enough Chinese to get around in taxis. So that's impressive.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Jake is really a jack of all trades. Yeah.
He can do it all. So we have full confidence in him.
If you were to come up with like your ideal slam ball team based on, well, let's put it this way.

Speaker 4 What NBA team right now would have the makeup to feel the best slam ball ball team oh well it's the Miami Heat right it's like

Speaker 8 bam out of bio when he like erased Jason Tatum's like uh uh you know shot in the playoffs yeah it was like I was like oh damn that's slam ball right I was at that game yeah yeah well

Speaker 8 on the on the video board behind shout out to Jason Tatum who tweeted about slam ball last week that was freaking awesome oh yeah But yeah, it's like, you know, it's like a grimy, go-get-it kind of thing.

Speaker 8 I think that's, that's a big thing, is it like, which is why I love you guys' show. It's like you guys are really interested in like the grit and the

Speaker 8 competitive fire

Speaker 8 as much as the spotlight and

Speaker 8 all the stardom that comes with the sports. And that's what I think Slam Ball really does.
It doesn't take itself too seriously. It's super fun.

Speaker 8 Imagine Slam Ball being the thing you watch, bridging yourself from the end of the NBA season to the beginning of the NFL season.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so here's what you need to do. You need to offer like a Rudy Gobert, you need to offer him an 80-year,

Speaker 3 like $3 million a year contract to play slam ball, something ridiculous like that

Speaker 3 to get you on the map. That's what you got to do.
You got to offer someone a contract like that.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 I think that we're actually looking for different athletes than the NBA is, right? The NBA is a very specific kind of athlete

Speaker 8 at different levels and stuff like that. But we're looking for guys that have multi-sport backgrounds, right?

Speaker 8 Like Nate Robinson would be an absolute monster in slam ball because he played football at the college level. He played basketball at the college and pro level, right?

Speaker 8 And the idea that he could get up in the air and joust with anybody.

Speaker 3 No, you can't, no one say he could joust with anyone.

Speaker 4 I'm still praying for him.

Speaker 3 Fair enough.

Speaker 8 Fair enough. Fair enough.

Speaker 8 But it's funny, though, because he took the inter-sports discipline thing a little too far when he stepped into the box.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 I actually think the Nuggets would make a pretty good team because you got Jokic and you know what one like really underrated asset is of anyone on a trampoline is the guy that's your best friend that gives you the super bounce.

Speaker 4 Double bounce. The double bounce that hits the trampoline right before you hit it.
And Jokic is like, I don't know, 300 pounds. Get him and

Speaker 4 I guess Jamal Murray.

Speaker 3 And then Bull Bulls.

Speaker 4 Guarding the rim. Bad news for you about Jamal Murray.
He's hurt, I know.

Speaker 3 But he'll be back.

Speaker 4 He always does come back. He does.
All right, fine. Was it Michael Poor Jr.?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think. Is his spine up for it? Sure.
Okay. Sure.

Speaker 8 I mean, I think of Jimmy Butler, right? Just being like gritty and physical and all these things, having a ton of skill,

Speaker 8 but being able to, you know, just put his head down and make a play happen at the rim. You know, it's like those kind of things happen.

Speaker 8 But, you know, we've got, there are so many athletes that are professional caliber coming out of NCAA programs every single year that we want to create a platform for those athletes those hyper athletic crazy physical guys you need though you need a face maybe tyler hansborough he's probably not here anything psycho team yeah someone who can just bleed all over the place and be like holy shit remember that guy tough borland yeah like give us something like that all right well you You should actually hire us.

Speaker 3 I could be

Speaker 3 blank check. Yeah, blank check us to find the best team possible.

Speaker 8 I mean, I don't see how Slamball Ball and part of my take don't grow together, even though you guys are already number one. So I don't know how much higher you could get in the rankings.

Speaker 3 I mean, Slam Ball's number one in trampoline sports. In my heart.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I think we could actually find a decent Slam Ball team just based on our unemployed friends.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Spencer Hawes. Yes.

Speaker 4 Well, I guess Danny Woodhead's retired technically. But he would be good.
He'd be very good at it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Blake Bortles with Bortles.

Speaker 4 Deli would be a great Slam Ball player, honestly.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we'll find. We'll put together.
All right, I have one last question, though. It's the Roback question.
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So there you go.

Speaker 3 The most important question for Slam Ball to succeed in America. Who is the goat? And is there maybe two goats that we can debate?

Speaker 8 Two goats and slam ball? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Who's the goat?

Speaker 8 Yeah. Well, a lot of people say it's a guy named Stan Fletcher,

Speaker 8 who actually was, you know, a lot of guys remember from kind of the classic slam ball seasons.

Speaker 8 He was the guy that was making up plays in midair and tossing the ball to himself and creating these unbelievable self-passes and things like that.

Speaker 8 He actually called it the chaser, gave it names and stuff. So he really expanded what slam ball, it meant to play slam ball on that level creatively.

Speaker 8 And then there was another guy who played basketball at Kansas named Jelani Janice, who was absolutely the most dominant guy you ever saw because he was 6'4, 225 pounds, and the fastest guy on the floor.

Speaker 8 So he was playing basketball and he was the most physical guy. So he was playing basketball and football.
So right now, the debate is probably Stan Fletcher or Jelani Janice.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 I think I'm a Stan Stan.

Speaker 3 I think I might be a Jelani Janice guy. Okay, good.
Delicant debate. Now we go.
Now we're good. This is how it works.
Yeah. So like the alliteration, Jelani Janice.

Speaker 3 I'm watching him right now, and he's pretty fucking good.

Speaker 4 Who was the guy that did the flip, landed on their back, and then bounced off their back and dunked?

Speaker 3 Do you remember that?

Speaker 8 Yeah, that was a guy named Chris Robbins. He played football at Clemson, and he was really great because he had this gymnastics-like vibe to him, but he was coming from a football background.

Speaker 8 So like where everybody else was trying to like do fancy dribbles and stuff, Chris was just trying to take people's heads off.

Speaker 3 Dude, I'm watching Jelani Genice's highlight tape right now. I don't, slam ball is just objectively awesome.
Like, I don't know how you could watch it and not be like, this is sick.

Speaker 3 Just dunking on people as hard as possible. Oh, man.
And wait, dunks are worth three, right? That was the rule. Dunks are worth three and regular shots are worth one, correct?

Speaker 8 Which I actually think the NBA is going to have to adopt that, you know, dunks being worth three in order to,

Speaker 8 you know, change the geometry of what's happening in the NBA right now.

Speaker 8 First and foremost, you have to stop people from attacking the rim, right?

Speaker 8 And that now you've got people that are able to make one move, one dribble at the three-point line, get all the way to the rim with no defense.

Speaker 8 So I think if they were able to do that, it would collapse some of the defense.

Speaker 8 It would create for more exciting movements and ultimately, you know, take the NBA to a different place but they're gonna have to change it to a three to keep up with slam ball once you overtake them maybe well

Speaker 4 we'll see right a very underrated part of about slam ball is the full contact on the full court like they're just dudes at half court after they pick up their dribble and you can just body check them

Speaker 8 yeah and and that's what we want to do is you know it's that plus the penalty shot right and slam ball is a lot more exciting than a free throw you if you if i if you hit me i get a chance to go one-on-one with you at the rim which is, you know, it's like a showdown at the OK Corral.

Speaker 8 And we want to make Slam Ball the betting sport of all betting.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 8 like you're just betting on every single element throughout the game. These games are short format.
They're, you know, 20 minutes. They're a television half hour.

Speaker 8 So you can watch a bunch of them in a row if you wanted to. So we think that Slam Ball is really optimized for right now.
And we're definitely seeing that sentiment out there.

Speaker 3 All right. So a tip there is just make sure that all overs hit all the time.

Speaker 8 All overs hit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't know how you could possibly do it, but if all the overs hit, oh, God, I'm watching all these highlights right now. These are sick.

Speaker 4 I'm watching the Stan Fletcher takeover.

Speaker 3 This is a hilarious fucking sport.

Speaker 4 Who came up with the names for your teams? Because that's, I think, one part that we could maybe clean up, we could update a little bit. Yeah, because they were very, they were very like early 2000s.

Speaker 4 They were like the Rumble, the Vortex, the Diablos.

Speaker 8 Yeah, Rumble, the Mob, the Slashers, the Maulers.

Speaker 8 But as we break, yeah, the steel was actually the Steelers' colors, and we had to stop doing that.

Speaker 3 Stop the steal. Yeah, stop the steel.

Speaker 8 So,

Speaker 8 yeah, I think the idea is that we would really love to be able to get the PMT audience to help, you know, like brain fund this thing so that we have the best possible names coming back.

Speaker 8 I think you'll see a handful of legacy teams because some people know those teams and love those teams. Well, yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, you can't, like, that would be like saying the Yankees don't exist anymore. The mob, the red, has to keep existing.
Yeah. You have to have that out there.
I think

Speaker 4 we definitely can brain fund some of those names because we have, we came up with a bunch of names for our lacrosse team a while back.

Speaker 4 And I actually feel like some of the ones that we came up with that they didn't use might be winners for Slam Ball.

Speaker 4 Yeah. The Lakes.

Speaker 3 The Dunks. The Doinks.
And it's just everyone's got to be high.

Speaker 4 That's good. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Low-key that happens. Yeah, right.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Why not? Right now.
Why not?

Speaker 4 The Jakes. and it's just uh jake screaming that he's the best one yeah

Speaker 3 we go we'll we'll come up with some we'll toss it around yeah

Speaker 3 teams we would have to do like a uh a joint uh merchandising campaign yes i love it well mason this has been awesome man and uh we're going to be watching uh we're going to be you know next time you're in new york you got to come by and we got to we got to try to bring slam ball back we're in for it Thank you guys.

Speaker 8 I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. And thanks to Hank for making it happen.
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Can you give us one hint as to who the actor is that's playing the main part of the Slamball movie?

Speaker 8 I wish I could. The next time I'm on the show, I should be able to tell you.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Oh, Miles Teller. Nope.
Okay. Vince Bond.

Speaker 8 More athletic than more athletic than both of them.

Speaker 3 The rock.

Speaker 4 Michael B. Jordan.

Speaker 8 You overshot it with The Rock.

Speaker 3 Damn.

Speaker 4 He didn't say anything to Michael B. Jordan.

Speaker 8 No, it's not Michael B. Jordan.

Speaker 3 Sly Stallone.

Speaker 8 Not

Speaker 4 Steven Seagal.

Speaker 8 But how amazing would it be to see all these...

Speaker 3 Jonah Hill.

Speaker 3 Ooh.

Speaker 8 Not Jonah Hill.

Speaker 4 Fuck. Okay.

Speaker 4 I think we named every actor.

Speaker 4 Oh, Kevin from the office.

Speaker 3 Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington.

Speaker 8 All good guesses. All good guesses.
Shit.

Speaker 8 I want to see all these guys play slam ball, but

Speaker 8 not correct in this case.

Speaker 3 All right. Thank you, Mason.
Now just tell us. We'll cut this part.

Speaker 3 No, I seriously can't.

Speaker 8 I'm lit.

Speaker 8 That was awesome. But I am literally like contractually.

Speaker 8 I lose the house. Right.
I lose it.

Speaker 3 Right. That's why we'll cut it.
Yeah. Right.
So

Speaker 8 clever.

Speaker 3 So just initials.

Speaker 8 But the net the next time I'm on, I will hopefully be able to tell you.

Speaker 3 All right. Does Thursday work for you?

Speaker 8 As soon as I can break some more news, we'll do it.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 4 If you need any extras in it, let us know.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 8 We'll make that happen.

Speaker 3 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 8 This was awesome.

Speaker 3 Thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.
Get me well.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's wrap up. We got some FAQs.
We also have a few listeners submitted.

Speaker 3 So this, after Monday's discussion about nut tapping and Luka Doncic, I was tweeting about it, and I got a couple funny tweets about the end of the nut games, the nut tap game.

Speaker 3 The one that ended everything.

Speaker 3 So I said, send a couple funny ones. We have a couple funny ones to read.
But I love the idea that everyone, every male out there has had that moment where they've had to stop the game.

Speaker 3 Because like, it's just too much. We're going to, it will tear us apart.

Speaker 3 it's usually once you start to think about having children yeah but no so we had a couple different ones so here's one good one uh it started with this one from river mcdonald uh my last nut tap was two nights before i got married my brother-in-law caught me at the bar and i knocked my tooth out on a beer bottle showed up to rehearsal dinner with the plan to fix after the wedding wife was pissed and made me find an emergency dentist day of the wedding it's a tough that's a tough reaction i don't know if you can necessarily blame the person that did the nutshot on that one because it sounds like the person that got hit reacted like a total bitch and doubled over and broke their tooth on a bottle.

Speaker 3 But this, the whiplash hit the bottle. Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, here's another one. Night before my wedding, two of my groomsmen were nut tagging in a bar.
One went too far and a fight broke out in the front of the bathroom.

Speaker 3 They wrestled their way into the bathroom and knocked over a third groomsman, pissing. He was holding a beer bottle in one hand and his dick in the other.

Speaker 3 the bottle shattered when he went down we ended up spending a half of the night in ER for him to get stitches wedding pictures were hilarious with black eyes facial cuts and stitches the ex-wife was not happy but still best friends with the three of them so I like that TikTok and ex-wife ex-wife so he ended up that didn't last but a hilarious ending to like I think that's a fair one to end when you have a full-on brawl in a bathroom before a wedding.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Matt, whenever it involves somebody that's not the person getting nut tapped or the person doing the nut tapping, I also like how every single person that emailed in or wrote in, they've got like different names for it.

Speaker 4 It's like soda and pop.

Speaker 3 Jimmy tapping. Yeah.
Yeah, it's very regional, I think.

Speaker 3 Here's another one.

Speaker 3 Let's see. Wait.
Oh, I had

Speaker 3 it. Oh.

Speaker 3 High school baseball walked over a rake while our team was raking the field before a game. My buddy was behind me and perfectly timed my walk over the wooden handle.

Speaker 3 Curb stomped the metal part and the entire stick flung up and got me direct hit. Perfect execution on his part.
I had to sit out the game and coach had to ban tappings.

Speaker 3 If he saw a tap, we'd run till we puked. I love that there's like an authority figure who's like, we have to ban this.

Speaker 4 And if you're a coach, why not just say you have to wear a cup?

Speaker 3 Your baseball is true.

Speaker 4 That seems like an easy solution to the problem.

Speaker 4 Do kids still do cup checks?

Speaker 3 Yeah, why not, right? They have to.

Speaker 4 I feel like if you do a if you do a nut tap when you're playing baseball with somebody, you can just rebrand it as a cup check. Yep.
And you're actually looking out for that guy's safety.

Speaker 3 I just love, and we'll get to FAQs, but I love the idea that like everyone has that moment where they're like, you know what? It's over. Like we've had our best days.
We have to end this.

Speaker 3 It can't keep going. Although I'm sure, maybe what I should have asked is, is there anyone out there in like their 40s and 50s who's still doing this?

Speaker 3 Maybe it makes a resurgence after your kids.

Speaker 4 Okay, so I think what happens is there's like there's a very small percentage of people that enjoy, I don't know if it's a community or if it's the actual physical pain, but a small percentage of people like it because I know you guys have probably seen the clips.

Speaker 4 I don't recommend watching it to anybody, but there are videos that you can see online of like,

Speaker 4 I think it's a part of the domination scene or dominatrix scene where a guy's like tied up. And the girl just straight up starts kicking his balls repeatedly.
That's like his kink that he's into.

Speaker 4 So I feel like those are the last guys that are still into the nut tapping scene. Everybody else kind of like, they move out as it becomes, you know, no longer a young fad thing to do.
Right.

Speaker 4 And these guys are lifers. Right.

Speaker 3 Oh, man.

Speaker 3 All right. Hank, FAQs.
Let's finish up.

Speaker 6 Short FAQs, so we did get a lot of nut-tapping submissions.

Speaker 6 Subfellas. Hey, Chonkat.
When are you guys going to continue the Dungeons and Dragons quest?

Speaker 6 Is it on a hiatus because of he who shall not be damned? Well, he's dead.

Speaker 3 He's been dead like four times.

Speaker 6 Literally and figuratively.

Speaker 4 So we've killed him. I honestly think he's been dead, I think five times, six times, and then he's been shit out a few times.

Speaker 4 So we don't need Billy to come back, but I feel like that would be a good thing to do.

Speaker 3 I think we'll do it in the summer, yeah. Over the summer? Yeah, I mean, we're getting, we probably should have done it the last couple weeks because there was a little bit of a lull.

Speaker 3 I think we're going to get back into, you know, playoff hockey and playoff basketball will be great in the next few months and a half.

Speaker 3 But I would say look for like July, August. We'll definitely do it, right? I think, yeah.

Speaker 4 When the only thing we have to talk about is the Olympics. I feel like D and D.
It'd be nice to make a comeback there.

Speaker 3 Absolutely.

Speaker 6 What's up, girl dad and Alan Collins Freebird Soloist? Whose voice is on the intro for the show kind of sounds like our darling Jake?

Speaker 4 It was

Speaker 4 a guy.

Speaker 4 We got a guy that did it for us.

Speaker 3 Down like $500,000.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's been

Speaker 4 a random number, I just think. Probably won't sue us for it.

Speaker 6 The night Barry Bonds goat broke Hank Aaron's record. I got a whip ball bat to the balls for my friend trying to be Barry Bonds.

Speaker 4 That was just a good story.

Speaker 3 I mean, you remember it forever. A whiffleball bat to the balls really hurt.
One of the all-time. He got a lot of bat speed.

Speaker 4 An all-time great scene, Varsity Blues. Yeah.
When the guy put the beer on his head, just Billy Bob got him.

Speaker 4 What was that Tweeter? I think Tweeter got him.

Speaker 3 Let's throw this out there. Okay.
Now that we're just tossing out summer stuff.

Speaker 3 If anyone's got a whiffleball tournament within an hour driving distance of New York City, we will play.

Speaker 7 You're looking at a champ right there.

Speaker 3 In a weekday, maybe. What is it? Let's call it weekboard.
What is this? No one does that. I just want to do.
I want to play with some whiffleball.

Speaker 4 I would too. That was

Speaker 3 a big commitment. Well, no, a weekday.
You have to create the tournament and have it during the week. Yep.
And we'll play. A Wednesday afternoon in the summer, within an hour, we will show up.

Speaker 4 In Poughkeepsie.

Speaker 3 No, that's true. It's longer than

Speaker 3 that. Within an hour of New York City has to be official field and everything.
We will absolutely play. That'd be fun.
Yeah. Right? We're basically just

Speaker 3 telling someone: if you can put it together,

Speaker 3 we'll just come hang out for an afternoon. Maybe, you know what? Actually, strike all that from the record.
We're going to go to Stu Finer's house and we'll play some woof. Hell yeah.
That's it.

Speaker 3 We'll do our own tournament. All right.
So, sorry if you already started planning it, cancel that. We're going to do our own tournament, Stu Finer's house, and get in the pool.
We'll make a video.

Speaker 4 What temperature is the pool right now?

Speaker 3 80, 81? I don't know.

Speaker 4 Bubba knows.

Speaker 3 Let me call him real quick and let's see how fast he answers.

Speaker 4 And then I need to know the exact temperature.

Speaker 3 How quickly I can get him off.

Speaker 3 Committed a cardinal sin the other day. Something wrong? Oh, yeah, that was bad.
I didn't realize he was having an overfive night.

Speaker 3 But it was hilarious text. What are you doing, brother? Hey, what temperature is the pool right now? 88.

Speaker 3 Okay, great. All right.
We're going to be out there at some point this summer. I love you so much, Misky.
All right, you sound very high.

Speaker 3 I'm blown out. I'm playing somebody.

Speaker 3 I just finished paying. I'm going to wash my hands.
I'm going to smoke a bowl. I've smoked 10 bull packs today.

Speaker 3 All right. I'll see you later, okay?

Speaker 3 Okay. Bye.
Give me dead mothers and life. I swear to God, I'm having a good time.
All right, okay. See ya.
No one has a better time, DB. I love you.
All right. Love you too.

Speaker 3 Okay. All right.
Bye.

Speaker 6 All right. We'll end with this one.
What's up?

Speaker 3 You can tell. He's, yeah.
Yeah, so we'll do it. And you know what? Do people.

Speaker 3 I think people liked when Stu was on the show, but I can never tell. Stu's one of those guys who, like, there will just always be some very big haters that will just yell about him.

Speaker 4 I think if you hate Stu, it's more about you than it is about him.

Speaker 3 So I think, so

Speaker 3 here's what we're going to do.

Speaker 4 He's a sweetheart of a guy.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 we'll do a Wednesday or a Thursday.

Speaker 3 Go out, play some wiffle ball with Stu, tape a little podcast, and that will be awesome.

Speaker 4 I'm just throwing this out here. What if we brought Stu in for Dungeons ⁇ Dragons?

Speaker 3 That would not work. You don't think so? No.

Speaker 3 I think if you played with

Speaker 3 guardrails.

Speaker 3 Stu needs guardrails.

Speaker 3 Maybe, well, ask Tim Woods if he wants to come to Stu's house. I actually think it would be a nice something different if Tim Woods had to play

Speaker 3 Wiffleball with us first. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 4 And watching Tim try to rein in Stu.

Speaker 3 Yeah, okay, all right. Yeah.
I mean, if we can get this done, absolutely. Sometime mid-July, early August.
All right.

Speaker 6 Right after the bike ride. All right.

Speaker 3 What's up, Handsome Hank, P.F.

Speaker 6 Titty, Grande Cat, Bum Billy, who shall not be named, and Jacob.

Speaker 6 If you were to restart your athletic career at the age of 10, what sport would you choose to play that you think you would have the most success in?

Speaker 3 Golf.

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 I'd be successful. Football.
But golf.

Speaker 4 I think I would focus on just being a long snapper.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Because that's one thing that if you just do it all day, every day, you can get really good at it.

Speaker 3 But golf to me would be the one sport that I know. Obviously, I'm not saying I'd be a professional golfer, but if I had started at 10, I would have been better.

Speaker 3 And it would, I think golf is a sport that, like, if you're good, it's so much fun. Yeah.
And you can play it forever.

Speaker 4 And it would help you socially, too. Yeah.
Like, it's a fun thing to do in your 20s.

Speaker 3 I never took a golf line. I never,

Speaker 3 like, I never even... Yeah, I mean, I basically started golfing when I was like 23.

Speaker 4 When you're bad at it, you really never want to do it ever.

Speaker 3 Correct. So, yeah, I wish I were good at golf.
I play football.

Speaker 4 You think you can make it? Yeah.

Speaker 3 You just make it to the league?

Speaker 6 Yeah, my mom never let me play, and that's the only reason I didn't make it. Yeah, that's probably true.

Speaker 3 That's it. Jake, you?

Speaker 3 Ping pong? Tennis.

Speaker 4 But you did play tennis. I played tennis.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I couldn't. You went changing and got better.
Yeah. No regrets.
I mean, it did make you the best in the offense.

Speaker 4 At table tennis. Right.

Speaker 3 I just feel like... I texted Hank yesterday.
I said,

Speaker 3 are you okay?

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 I was sorry. Yeah, I was a brutal text again.
Are you okay? I said, are you good?

Speaker 3 Are we good? No, I was sick. Are we good, bitch?

Speaker 4 No, it's not even asking, like, are we good? He's just making sure that Hank is

Speaker 3 not completely.

Speaker 3 Yeah, is your entire life shattered because of me? No, I'm looking out for him. Yep, thanks for it.

Speaker 3 It's tough. 99.

Speaker 4 18. Give me an 8.

Speaker 3 44. 82.

Speaker 3 Dange.

Speaker 3 Please.

Speaker 4 Please, God.

Speaker 3 13.

Speaker 3 Unlucky.

Speaker 4 13. Is that a first-timer?

Speaker 7 That is a first-timer.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 7 The Mantis shrimp has the world's fastest punch.

Speaker 4 I think we've had that fact a few times.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 7 And NBC adopted the peacock logo in 1956 because of the increase in color programming.

Speaker 4 They just dropped a hard C. All right.

Speaker 3 That's nice.

Speaker 4 Love you guys. Yeah, we'll edit that.

Speaker 4 I don't know what I have to say. I'm fan anyway.

Speaker 4 Today isn't my day to find you shy.

Speaker 4 Oh, I've been coming for your love of game, love a game, love a game, love a game, love a game,

Speaker 4 I'm the

Speaker 4 only

Speaker 4 one

Speaker 4 to your girl,

Speaker 4 Drink on the day

Speaker 4 drink on the

Speaker 4 whole

Speaker 3 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.