March Madness Recap Even Though Our Brains Are Leaking Out Of Our Ears

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It's a type of war. We were in war mode.
Yeah. Listen, honestly, you have to go into a situation like this ready to kill your bracket, ready to straight up murder it.
And we were just gambling everything and watching everything, consuming so much basketball. I think we've spent 30 plus hours in a bar the last four days, more than that even.
But we're going to recap it all. We have it all.
It's going to be a great show. I think that these are the best shows.
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It's Monday, March 22nd, and everyone in America's bracket is busted. Officially, right? Or at at least on the major platforms I don't think anyone's got got a correct bracket they were they're all so so busted so so busted and here was what I was going to say at the beginning of the show before the ad which you should always listen to don't skip that shit don't don't skip that shit we we don't we don't gamble well don't skip that well a lot of during the ads, we put in the best parts of the show.
The secret tokens you're talking about. Oh, yeah.
Well, don't say that. Well, I mean, the QR codes for the Bitcoins.
Yes. What I was going to say is I love these shows, these specific shows that we're about to do right now, because we match the mood of our listeners.
We match the mood of America. We match the mood of everyone, guy and girl, who has spent the last four days watching wall-to-wall basketball, whose eyes are bleeding, whose ears are ringing, whose brain is melting, and we still have eight more games to go.
My ass is asleep. My ass has been asleep for the last, like, 12 hours.
You know how on can see how many steps that you've taken and monitor how active you've been? I'm at an all-time low, I think, for steps taken over the course of three days, maybe in the history of the universe. And I bet you if there was an app that showed your couch, how much ass time instead of screen time, how much ass time I had on my couch this weekend, it was probably, what, like 38 hours? Yep.
38 hours of ass time on a couch watching college basketball this weekend. I have bed sores.
I got stung in my asshole today. Something stung me.
I have straight up bed sores from the couch when someone is bedridden and they have to rotate their body position because they get so sore from just doing nothing, that is what I have on my whole body. You got to rotate.
My brain just is throbbing. My brain is pulsating in the worst type of way.
And guess what? I loved every second of it. It's absolute chaos.
The brackets are completely busted. And we're here to break it all down.
It took a year of not having March Madness to make you really realize how much you love it. Yeah.
Like I love feeling this miserable right now. And I want to walk something back, but I didn't get stung on my asshole.
What happened was I felt a weird tingling sensation on my butt and it turned out that my asshole fell asleep from sitting on a chair too long yeah first time that's ever happened to me my body right now is uh consists of uh like part coors light 75 tums uh probably 85 just poop 100 reason to remember the name and and like 175 of just losing bets yeah and bracket busters hank is the podcast out yet all right let's do it let's break it down so we're gonna go region by region because uh we need guardrails for ourself on this show i i walked over to pft hit the bar an hour ago i was like hey let's try to do it region by region because i was just thinking about how we're going to talk about this and I don't I need like memory uh triggers for all of these games and moments I don't remember like I was looking through all the games here I don't remember anything about USC against Drake did that game happen yeah Evan Mobley baby oh Mobley baby number two pick Andy Edfield shout out I one of my favorite stories stories is whenever a school gets a top recruit and also at the same time hires that top recruit's dad as the assistant coach. Yeah.
Jackson State could never. I would do that all the time.
All the time. All right.
Well, Jake is also – we tasked Jake with getting us our preview of One Shining Moment where he's been documenting what he thinks

will be in One Shining Moment. And we'll get to that.
So let's start. Region by region, we're going to start in the South because I think South obviously has the number one story, and that is Oral Roberts, the second 15 seed all time, the first being Dunk City, Andy Enfield, and now at USC

Florida Gulf Coast in 2013

Oral Roberts is the second all-time. They stun Florida.
They are the story of the weekend. They are into the Sweet 16.
And also they kicked the shit out of Ohio State. Didn't kick the shit out of them, but that was a crazy game as well.
Yeah, any time a 15 beats a 2, it does count as a shit-kicking. Because every time we talk about whether or not it's an ass-beating, we're in our own heads factoring in the spread that we gambled on.
So it's like, yeah, according to that, it was an ass-kicking. It's interesting watching which big J's are making the oral jokes and which ones are staying away.
And I'll just say January, February, oral. There it is.
John Ross john john rossi for listening either that or death taxes oral okay either way so i have a question for you yeah i have a question for you orl roberts if you're an ohio state fan we should make those t-shirts we should death taxes oral i said gluck gluck over chomp chomp yeah we beat the gators Yes. If you're Ohio State, so the fact that it's named Oral Roberts, Oral Bob beats you, the fact that that's the name of the school makes it so significantly worse because there are like 15 beating a two is something people will bring up forever for Ohio State.
Now, the question is, is it better or worse for Ohio State fans that Oral Bob is now in the Sweet 16 because they also beat Florida? Is it worse because now their story becomes bigger and more like, you know, mythological? Or is it better because we're now talking about them like Oral Bob is in the Sweet 16. I don't even remember who they beat in the first round.
Yeah, I actually don't think that oral roberts university is allowed to technically go dancing they're like liberty where it's like the town and footloose yeah it is yeah where you can't actually advance the dance but i think big cat you're onto something i i don't think it's as bad under most circumstances because now the story is this school that sounds like a blow job they they're going on a little run here. But with Ohio State, you have to factor in the Michigan factor, which is perhaps the most active message board community.
Their fans are going to bring up the loss to Oral Roberts more than any other possible rival school in the entire country could. And it becomes a funny piece of trivia that will forever be brought up.
Like, if you lose as a two-seed, and it is to pretty much any other team. Yeah, or Lehigh, or Colgate even.
Like, oh, you're going to make toothpaste shows? Who cares? Oral Roberts is a killer. As long as it's not to, like, butt-fuck university.
Right. That's the only way it could be worse.
Yeah's going to be but then uh ohio state's going to have like the easy comeback which is oral has beaten us more times than jim harbaugh has so then oral over harbaugh and then that's a way to pivot off that but it's it's not good but it would be a lot worse if it was just they won that one game right and then they lost in the second right all Right. All right.
So they're the story of the tournament.

They're going to be matching up against Muspuss.

Shout out our guy Muspuss, Eric Musselman,

and the Arkansas Razorbacks into the Sweet 16.

I love this about the Muspuss and especially shout out our guy Anthony Ruda who hooked us up with Mus and is on their staff.

And I think he does most of the scheduling.

Little fun fact, Arkansas played Oral Roberts in December. They beat him by 11.
They were actually down at halftime, I believe. And the reason why they played him, and this is March Madness, if it's like the one thing that defines March Madness is coaches' stories and the narratives of players and how we build everything up.
But Eric Musselman wanted to play teams that he thought, lower conference teams that he thought were going to win their conference and be in the tournament. So that's why they scheduled Oral Roberts.
I think they also played Abilene Christian. They played Abilene Christian, Oral Roberts, and North Texas.
All three. So this was all by design that he was like, there's a chance we could play one of these teams, so we want to schedule the best teams in the lowest conferences.
So this is, if you were sitting here, and I think I remember watching that game. This is five-dimensional chess.
Yeah, I think I bet on that game in December, and I watched it, and I know I bet on that game. And they hung tough.
They beat Oral Roberts by 11, Abilene Christian by 13, and North Texas by 15, so they all are good. The fact that a December game between Arkansas and Oral Roberts was a preview for the Sweet 16, a shot at the Elite Eight, it's crazy.
And now, so that game's going to be great. I'm a must-bust believer.
Yeah. The runs that they go on, when they decide to step on the gas pedal of the must-bust, and they turn it on against Texas Tech, it was like, there's no going back.
They also have fun names. It's electric.

Moses Moody, J.D.

Notay.

Fun names.

Moses Moody, I love it.

Those are fun names.

Is there any other mouth-related team that they could – because they got Colgate.

No, Monmouth's not in it.

Monmouth's not in it.

Canisius isn't in it.

Canisius.

Canisius.

I think that's all the mouth.

I think that is the mouth.

They have the opportunity to run the game.

Lipscomb.

Yeah, there we go, Jake.

Thank you, Jake. Nice deep pull.
Not in it pull. Alright, so that's one part of the bracket.
The other side, it sucks that the way that they made the tournament this year, that it's Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, because in a regular year, we would be doing the show on Thursday night and I would be saying the Wisconsin Badgers are the greatest team in the country. Because what they did to UNC, your boy Roy.
It's COVID year. 29-0 in first round games.
Big Cat, it's COVID year. 29-0 in first round games until he ran into the buzzsaw that is the Wisconsin Badgers.
I agree with you. This performance from UNC was abysmal.
The only way I can describe it is UNC looked like they were playing pool basketball on offense. They would get the ball, pivot around, maybe take a couple steps, pass it.
They were having no sort of motion. It just looked completely uncoordinated.
It was a painful game to watch as a diehard UNC supporter. I do like UNC as a diehard Duke hater.
I've always had love for UNC. I even spent, after the game today, Wisconsin and Baylor, I spent about 20 minutes just going back into Duke men's basketball Twitter and just retweeting all their losses.
Rude. It made me feel better.
You want your friend to feel better? I do. I want you to feel great.
We all cope a different way. But either way, that Friday night game, like if you had not watched any college basketball, if you wiped away all the records and you watched all the games on Friday, you would say Wisconsin is the best team in the country.
Yeah. And then they showed up on Sunday, and Baylor is so much better than Wisconsin.
So that's what my thought was. Jake and I were in the more on Madness pool together.
We picked Wisconsin because we thought that, like, wow, Wisconsin looks legit. They're going to score some points even against Baylor.
We picked them. That was an unfortunate pick.
And, Jake, I would have given you my half of the earnings if we had won the $5,000. It means a lot.
I appreciate it. Well, no, you would have given – I thought you were going to give half to charity and then half to Jake.
No, I was going to give Jake that and then I was going to give my – Match. Yeah, I're going to match it personally for charity.
And then I was going to give my half of the Bitcoin to TJ for Rutgers. That's what's awesome about losing bets that are in a team environment is you can say whatever you want after the fact.
I was going to match too, Jake. Big Cat was, yeah.
I was. I was actually going to match with interest.
So I was going to match as of Thursday, whatever the interest was. I appreciate you thinking of me.
I would have donated some to the Barstool Fund too. Oh wow.
I actually would have. Wow.
How much? A thousand. A thousand? Why not two? Make it two.
If you donate a thousand, I'll match. Okay, I'll match.
I'll double. If I won.
No, no, no, but right now I'll... No, no, no.
Your hypothetical thousand. I actually would have.
Right, and I would have matched. Doubled.
Yeah, right. No, no, no, but right now, like, I'll...
No, no, no, no. Your hypothetical thousand.

I actually would have.

Right.

And I would have matched.

Doubled.

Yeah.

Damn.

You know what?

I'll triple it.

I'll triple your hypothetical match.

There it is.

And look at that.

We just raised $5,000 for the Barstool Fund.

If you had won it.

If Wisconsin had covered that spread.

Yeah.

It looked like they were playing two different sports.

It's just...

Baylor...

You should not be allowed to dunk as much as Baylor was dunking today.

If you're not going allowed to dunk as much as baylor was dunking today it was especially knowing that wisconsin wisconsin's game is predicated off of taking charges calling intelligent timeouts and just uh and and like two foot set shots that go off the backboard yeah they're like they're great YMCA team, and Baylor was scraping their heads on the rim. Well, it really was, and I'm not saying this just to say this because I know that we like to poke fun at the sadness that I experienced as a sports fan.
This wasn't the heartbreak game. They had to beat Baylor in an unbelievable upset for me to then have my heart broken.
This was never going to be... As good as they were on Friday, and that's so much fun.
Tournament wins, never apologize for tournament wins. If your team wins in the tournament, I don't care if they lose the next game like Wisconsin lost in the second round.
Friday night was fucking awesome. I had a great time.
I read all the recaps. It was awesome.
The Baylor is just so, so good. Their guards are so good defensively.
And I'm not going to – they're just kids, okay? They're just kids. I want to criticize, but I'm not going to because they're just kids.
Well, I'm not criticizing when I say that Baylor was just like way, way – No, I know. I was going to say other I was going to say other stuff about Greg Gard.
He's just a kid. Much better than Wisconsin.
Greg Gard's just a kid. I'd like to put my hand up and say I apologize for not giving Baylor enough respect.
Turns out Baylor was a team that people weren't respecting as much. Well, so the reason why Baylor lost their respect was they had COVID, and when they came back, they then lost to Kansas.
Then they got bounced in the big 12 tournament. Everyone's like, they're a different team now after the COVID.
So it was like, that's people, people kind of forgot about them. By the way, Baylor, if we're, I'm not going to try to take away what you're about to do with your one shining moments.
But if we're talking like storylines and what beat writers are looking to write about in the middle of the week the uh jackson moffitt the mullet kid yeah who just matthew mayor matthew mayor what's his name why did i say jackson moffitt is it's actually his name matthew why is it oh what's oh his twitter handles met jackson moffitt okay i was about to say if jackson moffitt isn't also the name of a mullet guy, then he needs to do some work. Yeah.
Wait, no, that's a different guy. Wait.
Mullet Bros. He's the bench bob mullet bro of Matthew Mayer.
Got it. Okay.
So when you search, wow, Jackson Moffitt. Good job, dude.
Because if you search Baylor mullet, Jackson Moffitt comes up first. Wow.
He's cucking. honestly never heard of him.
No, I don't think he plays. Right.
That's actually it. Because that actually is also part of March is the bench guys.
And we'll get to Abilene Christian. Meyer, by the way.
I need to correct myself. Okay, thank you.
I didn't care. The bench kid who didn't play a minute for Abilene Christian doing horns down, down the court after the game going viral so the bench mob guys and UCLA bros so uh anyway Matthew Mayer uh he's gonna get a lot of stories written because I mean he catches the ball in that in that uh like elbow extended and he's just wet and he's got a sick bullet and Baylor just jumps all over the place and their guards are insane and yeah you're right, you're right.
I think Baylor, we'll see. Hopefully the must-must comes out of here.
Yeah, I'm rooting for the must-must. Now, did Jackson Moffitt, Matthew Mayer, did he have a mullet before the tournament? Yes, he did.
Or is this a tournament mullet? No, he had it before. I love that.
I knew it before. Because there's a difference between a tournament mullet, because I think the guy, I could be wrong, but I think the guy from Gonzaga that's got the handlebar mustache, I think that's a tournament handlebar.
The guy that looks kind of like if Billy played in Lynyrd Skynyrd. You know the guy I'm talking about? Yes.
That to me seems like a tournament facial hair. This guy I think is legit.
I remember tweeting about Matthew Mayer sometime in early February because he put lightning bolts in his mullet. That's sick.
And I was like this guy's awesome that guy fucks yeah and then he turned out to to show up and beat me uh we forgot about villanova huh that was funny there's always the villanova is the quintessential uh i think winthrop was even trending on friday before the game because everyone picked winthrop the 12-5 villanova struggled down the stretch Colin Gillespie gets hurt all these things and then oh yeah Villanova turns out they're still pretty good and Jay Wright's still a really good coach they still have Jay Wright yeah and they got to the uh Sweet 16 fairly easy even though North Texas you know upset Purdue and that made it a little easier for them yeah there are there are some things that have changed this year that I don't know if they're going to impact the future of the sport entirely,

but one of the things that's changed is the coach is not wearing suits all the time.

He just kind of gave up on that.

I think that if it's Jay Wright or Tony Bennett,

those guys are suit guys.

I get uncomfortable seeing them not wearing suits on the sidelines.

Yeah, I'd agree.

If we're talking about Huggy Bear, Huggy Bear should be allowed to wear, like, a robe and slippers. Rick Pitino's a suit guy.
Yeah, white suit. Yep.
Very one-pant leg that's attached, tied around his leg. Oh, I have something for you about Rick Pitino.
Yeah? Yeah, no, we'll get to it. We'll get to Iona.
Okay. Yeah.
I'm scared. Yeah.
Yeah, you should be. Okay.
Do I have a stalker too? He's going for you now.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Keep listening, folks.

I'm done making...

Okay, well, yeah, stay tuned for that.

Keep listening, folks.

I'll put it this way.

If you've won a national championship,

you should be required to wear a suit on the sidelines.

Bill Self, no.

Everyone else, yes.

I like Bill Self in a suit.

I think Bill Self has a nice... He's a good polo guy, but I agree, Coach K is a suit guy.
Jay Wright's a suit guy. Yep.
If he was in the tournament, which he's... I actually, like, it's been so long, I can't even envision Duke in the tournament.
What is Coach K doing right now? Do you think he's watching the games? Yeah, for sure. He's probably got a burner out there.
You know what he's probably doing? He's probably writing down notes of every kid that took a three when they were up too much yeah like well i'm gonna have to gonna have to go barge into that locker room next year and coach that team for him well you know what it is coach k's probably got burners he's probably the guy that was in the ohio state players like dms on instagram like threatening his life dude that was by the way that sucks i know that we joke about like the burner lifestyle on I still appreciate. I love all the burners out there.
Burner gang, squad up. Shout out Youngstown Bob, my burner person.
Yeah, but it definitely goes way too far. Like, hey, that's fucked up.
They're just kids. Yeah, they're just kids.
Which I want to sell that shirt, but I realize out of context it probably wouldn't be good to walk around with a shirt that she says, they're just kids. Yeah, because you can interpret that one or two ways.
Buy that one, buy the debt taxes and oral. Actually, let's just put it one on the back, debt taxes and oral on the back, they're just kids on the front.
And then, yeah. Oh, fuck.
All right, so. All right.
Oh, the other thing I want to say, shout out North Texas Mean Green. I just love their jerseys.
I love Mean Green. I also, did you know this? Fun fact, Mean Green is because of Joe Green.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I even knew it.
I thought that that was a fake out. I thought somebody was psyching me out when they told me that.
Yeah. There's no way.
They renamed their entire program after Joe Green. No, and because the Yinzers thought that North Texas, when Joe Green went to play for Pittsburgh, he was Mean Joe Green.
They thought, the Yinzers thought, like, it's a classic college friend meeting post-college friends and being like, oh, I thought that just was your name. They thought he got the name Mean Joe Green from Texas, North Texas, because they were the Mean Green.
And really, he got it at North Texas, not because of North Texas. Wait, so he was renamed Mean Joe Green after? Yeah, he was Mean Joe Green.
And then he went to Pittsburgh, and the Yinzers were like, dude, that's sick that your team name is Mean Green. Yeah.
And your last name's Green. He's like, no.
I don't know if I have that right. I'm still a little confused by this.
I think they named the team Mean Green after Joe Green. Look it up.
Look it up. I'm looking it up right now.
Look up North Texas Mean Green. They also have their nickname, their mascot, Scrappy the Eagle.
Right, so they were like the Eagles. The secondary mascot's the albino squirrel.
Yeah, that's pretty cool. I like that too.
I also wish every time I see UNT, I wish they were called the College University of North Texas. Yeah, that would be cool.
We could put that on our shirt too. Yeah, that would be very cool.
Do you have it, Hank? It doesn't say. I'm trying to find out what their mascot and name was before Joe Green.

Right.

It looks like it was probably just the Eagles, though, because they have Scrappy.

No, but I'm telling you.

Hold on.

I'm going to find it.

I'm going to find it.

The albino squirrel is pretty badass.

Okay, here we go.

Here we go.

I'm going to read it to you.

Ready?

The name Mean Green was adopted by fans and media in 1966 for North Texas football defensive squad to finish the season second in the nation with Joe Green. Hold on.
Where did I read it? Okay. It doesn't say anything about before, though.
It sounds like they called their defense, like the Purple People Eaters, it sounds like they gave that nickname to their defense because of Mean Joe Green. And then they were like, you know what? The Mean Green is just a cool name.

Let's stick with it.

Kind of like the football team.

You win a division championship.

Roll with the football team as your name.

Yeah.

I like my version better, though.

I still didn't really understand.

I don't even know if there's an official version.

The Pittsburgh was like, dude, how's your name?

Your name's Mean Joe Green because of Texas?

And he's like, no, that's just because I'm mean and my name's Joe Green. And then they're like, but also North Texas is green, right? Okay, got it.
And they're like, oh, shit, maybe we are Mean Green. I thought you were saying there was a battle going on between Yinzers and people in Texas over how they got the name, kind of like the license plate battle that always rages on between Ohio and North Carolina about who invented the Wright brothers.
Yeah. No, this was – I just made this up in my head, I think, now that I'm replaying it.
But I really like this version. It's been a long weekend.
No, but I like this version. They were just like, damn, isn't that crazy coincidence that you played for the mean green and your last name's green? But it's not.
There are some give and takes to this opening weekend and how it's been

scheduled out uh positive all the brackets we're lining them up we're playing like one side of the bracket today i love that it's easier to keep track of negative uh our brains are just completely turned to chowder i'm so confused you get a podcast like this coming out on monday morning Okay, wait.

I got one last note about the South.

I'm not going to say anything bad. Oh, I have two last notes.
I'm not going to say anything bad about Purdue, but God damn it, Purdue. The first time I think I've ever said nice things about Purdue and being like, watch out for Purdue.
They fucking do that. So that will teach me to never be nice to Purdue again.
And then the other note is, shout out Virginia Tech for being the first team eliminated from the round of 64. And they had a great season.
Yeah. Congrats.
Number three in the ACC. You went to the big dances here.
Yep. That actually matters.
Okay. All right.
Let's go to the Midwest. Yeah.
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And weather whatever in Ariat Workyear. Okay, Midwest.
So, turns out Loyola Chicago is very, very good. Which actually we knew.
And if you want to make the argument that they were screwed with an 8 seed and Illinois was screwed more being matched up with them as an 8th seed. I'll buy that argument because they're not an 8th seed.
But holy shit. They actually kicked the shit out of Illinois.
And Illinois is really, really good. I thought Illinois was in my power rankings number one in the last three weeks of the season.
Oh, I was right. I had a future on him like a sucker.
But it uh but it turns out that like kofi coburn despite being like the biggest person to ever exist can be defended against if you have just like a bunch of guys that are 30 pounds kind of overweight with raggedy facial hair that make insanely good passes cameron crutwig i love cameron crutwig he is not overweight he is a he's a king tuned athlete he's a king uh sister I'm going to go off on Sister Jean real quick. Wait, you want me to read her pregame scouting? Well, that's what I was going to say.
Go ahead, please read it. I'll read it and then you go off.
So she did the pregame prayer, and she said, As we play the Fighting Illini, we ask for special help to overcome the team and get a great win. We hope to score early and make make our opponents nervous we have a great opportunity to convert rebounds as this team makes about 50 of layups and 30 of its three points our defense can take care of that she thinks that she's kirk goldsbury she thinks that she's an analytics person right now unreal uh i i saw somebody react to this tweet i have to echo the sentiment uh they They said, Sister Jean, this is not a nice prayer.
I'm not sure what they teach in Convict, but praying for victory of games and praying to have the opposition nervous is very Christian but not very Christ follower-like. Whoa.
So Sister Jean is being attacked. She does tend to overshadow the players sometimes.
You know what? I'm not going to go off on Sister Jean like I thought I would. Turns out she is a 101-year-old nun, so it feels like maybe that might be an instance of potentially punching down a little bit.
I think that's when you do go after her. Speak truth to power? Yeah, exactly.
I think Sister Jean's a witch. Well, here's the thing.
No, I straight up think she's a witch well here's the thing no i straight up think no i think she's a witch pft i sister jean like uh big god if big god's given a prayer big big religion is given a presentation of why god exists sister jean should be the number one slide because i you know we've all prayed to god for wins and it very rarely happens. Sister Jean is somehow just has a direct line to God and being like, hey, can we get in a Sweet 16 this year? That'd be nice.
Well, she might be coming for God's throne. That's what I'm saying.
It's crazy. I think that she's a witch.
The Final Four was nice, but can we maybe up the ante this time? Yeah, right. I think it's like a little dark magic.
I think that she's trying to –'s doing right now and big cat you're falling for it she's she's drawing people away from god's light and more towards sister jean's light so it's like the beatles saying they were bigger than jesus is that what sister jean is doing is she usurping god is she the megan markle of the kingdom of heaven what what an awesome encore for her though we've been talking about about the Mean Joe Green thing. I think it's only fair that this is what Loyola Chicago does.
Sister Jean. Yes.
Becomes the name of the, instead of the Ramblers. Yeah.
They're the Sister Jean. Yes.
The Clutch Jean. I mean, think about it.
Every time you hear Loyola Chicago, you're going to think Sister Jean, right? Yeah, you are. Mean Jean Green.
Also, I like that she doesn't even try to, like, clap anymore. She just, like, lightly pats her hand on the back of her hand, which might be because she's like 120, but I still, anyone who's that efficient with their time and space, I'm cool with that.
But I do like watching Loyola play. Yeah, of course.
They're awesome. The passes that Crutwig passes, it's crazy.
And also it's funny when you tweet about Crutwig at the same time as you're tweeting about soccer, people tend to think that you're not watching. They're like, why are you talking about soccer, bro? It's like, no, Cameron Crutwig is not, in fact, a Bundesliga striker.
He is a powerhouse of a sitter for Loyola Chicago. Here's a crazy thing.
Have you heard this? Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? People online tend to think that I look like Cameron Crutwig because that's all my mentions i don't see it i don't see it it's like so with big cat if anybody is like a little heavy portly gentleman uh a man who can afford good meals instead of talking about his weight why don't you talk about his uh sick footwork yeah everyone knows about your job step that's what really reminds that's what people would be on like oh shit have i seen that have i seen that footwork in the low post before oh yeah that's big cat yeah big cat's got eyes in the back of his head like he's a great passer but anytime someone's like a little chunkier might have some facial hair it's big cat anytime there's a man or a woman with long hair and sunglasses it's me yeah i feel bad for illinois they had an They just got, like, straight up they got outcoached. They got outcoached.
Brad Underwood got his lunch stolen by Porter Moses. He got sweaty again.
Did you notice that? Porter Moser? What is that? I think it's Moser. I can double check.
Porter Moser, though. It's never not Moser.
It's fucking God. God's on this team.
Why do you think their coach coach is named Moses? Well, if it was Moses. Let me be a journalist here, Jake, in March.
I want to write my byline. The lead will be, you thought they were led by God and Sister Jean.
Turns out Moses is their coach. There you go.
It is Porter Moser. Either way, Loyola Chicago is fucking good.
They're seven in Ken Palm now.

They're the seventh-ranked team in Ken Palm.

That's why I think if you're Illinois, I think your range of emotions are,

one, Brad Underwood really fucked this game up.

Two, that was an awesome season, and you're probably in good hands,

and yeah, it didn't work out, but whatever.

Illinois has had a rough go of it for a while,

so it's good that they're back. And then three, they got totally fucked by the fact that Loyola Chicago was an eight in their fucking bracket.
And that team is really goddamn good. Yeah, they made a lot of people look like fools picking against them.
Hand up. I did that too.
And now they get to move on. It looks like they're going to play against Oregon State.
There's seven minutes left. No, let's not.
745. Oregon State's the best team in the country as of right now.
Listen, I have a significant – I went on tilt after I lost all my potential earnings and donations in about a 30-minute span when Rutgers went out and then Florida blew it at the end. Yep.
And so then I went on tilt, overcorrected the other way, fired a missile at Oregon State. So I'm hoping they can keep up that spread right now because that would be wonderful for me personally.
But then, Loyola against Oregon State, like, Loyola is going to go to the Elite Eight. Well, if Oregon State wins this game, and we'll finish, by the end of the show, we'll know.
They have, like, the way they're playing right now, they have some of those yukon vibes where yukon just wasn't the best team and then they just didn't lose after going no wait that was the kemba year was when they didn't lose going from the big east uh the year they won as the a seed was that right there was seven in 2014 a three in 2011 they won as a seven they won usas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right. But Oregon State's just getting hot at the right time.
The other thing with this bracket. Cuse.
Yeah. Syracuse.
The zone. The zone.
The zone will fuck you over. Those first two minutes West Virginia was lost.
Everyone's got a plan until they get zoned in the face. You think that you know the zone, and looking at the matchup going into this, it's like Huggy Bear used to coach in the Big East.
He's seen the zone a few times, but you think that you know the zone. The zone has a way of sneaking up on you, and you can't.
It's funny because I actually think that there is something to – we talk about the lost art of the mid-range jumper and how nobody shoots 15, 16-foot jump shots anymore. Nate Oates has the one-point line to discourage kids from shooting it.
That's actually kind of a weakness in that zone. You get a lot of looks from 15, 16 feet, and the kids don't practice that shot anymore.
Right, it's a soft shot to me. Yeah, so it's actually kind of worked its way back into fashion.
And it's honestly like the most perfect invention in the history of college basketball. Like, I can't think of a gimmicky type offense or defense besides maybe the triple option at certain schools that has existed for this long and will always fuck you up even when you know that it's coming for you.
Yeah. Well, the zone, you know it's coming and it still will will, like, it hits you like a fucking car.
Yeah. Dude, the zone in the first half, there were, like, air balls, there were side-of-the-rim bricks.
West Virginia's passes were to nobody. Yeah.
Jake didn't even see that. No, I was watching the game.
Yeah. Sorry.
The zone, it just hits you like a car. I thought you were talking about Liam.
No. I was talking about Jim Boeheim hitting people with his car.
People really do forget that. That picture of Jim Boeheim's in the 316.
Handing Tony Stewart a Syracuse Tony Stewart jersey. I couldn't believe it was real.
Unreal. It can't be real.
I think it's real. It can't be real.
Alright. Buddy Boeheim is incredible, by the way.
Yes. Buddy Boeheim is a great reminder why we aren't NBA scouts.
I don't want to steal Gar Foreman and John Paxson's territory here, but I always see the best player in the tournament. I'm like, that guy's the best player in the world.
Buddy Boeheim would be my number one pick if I were the Houston Rockets. Buddy Boeheim, dude, he can't miss.
He is gone. He scored 25 points.
He went 6 for 13. In the last four games, which are all postseason games, ACC tournament and the NCAA tournament, he's shooting 55% from three.
He's 24 for 43. He just doesn't miss.
I would use my first pick on him. I'm telling you.
He is going to be a 10-time All-Star in the NBA. Meanwhile, Kate Cunningham can't hit a shot.
Yeah, there you go. It's weird.
So Buddy Boeheim is the ultimate guy that you post the gif of the guy walking on fire. Anytime Buddy Boeheim makes two threes in a row because the orange pops, the flames work.
But your mind, you tend to underestimate Buddy Boeheim when you first see him because you just think that he's Brad Calipari. Yes.
And Brad Calipari, what's his tattoo, earned? Earned, not given. Brad Calipari earned so that Buddy Boeheim could give.
Right. And Buddy Boeheim is giving big returns.
Jake was like, take the over on his three-pointers, and it was like the easiest bet of all time. Is his real name Buddy? I believe so.
I love that. That's weird.
And his brother is Jimmy. He plays at Cornell.
Jimmy and Buddy. Oh, sorry, Jimmy.
What? What do you mean, what? They have the Boeheim Bowl every year. Not this year.
Buddy Boeheim just took his dad to the Sweet 16. The Buddy Boeheim Bowl.
And Jimmy's season got canceled. I'm going to go with Buddy on this one.
He's getting an ugly education. Yeah, you're right.
That's really going to do great. Buddy Boeheim can fucking...
Oh, look at that. The Buddy Bowl.
I love it. Wait, so how does that work, though? Like, in terms of...
I think... When Jim was raising both these kids, did he have to stop feeding Buddy so he could recruit them? Yeah.
Or do we have to report... I think so.
Buddy Boeheim... Like, naming your son Buddy is essentially saying i want a friend i have no friends yeah it's like my only friend in life is coach k yeah yeah they got broden buddy out there this weekend it's coach k and then and then mike wilbon for like two weeks a year buddy oh my god syracuse fucking grads are so annoying what we don't give them enough credit what do i do always go after Northwestern grads, but Syracuse blue checks are the worst.
And there was a Big J fight on the streets last night. I think it was Frank Asolo was saying well, Jake, you remember it probably verbatim what he was saying about like...
He's like, when Northwestern not in the tournament, Maryland now has the best journalism school left. Oh! Fighting words.
And at the time, I don't think that Mizzou had been eliminated either. Oh, wow.
It was after Mizzou. Oh, it was right after Mizzou.
Okay, that makes sense. Speaking of.
No, he called. This is the real shot that he took.
He called Syracuse journalists celebrity broadcasters. Oh, that's true.
He took. They're glory boys.
He put a dot above your J. Yeah, they are glory boys.
That's true. Yeah.
I also see someone tweeted at us, September 13, 2017, 247 Sports. Coach visit, Jim Bayheim from Syracuse visits Buddy Bayheim.
That's great. Speaking of, we missed the greatest gambling trend of all time this weekend.
Are you ready for it? I'm like actually very upset at ourselves.

How many times will they play?

Thank God I'm a country boy.

No, this is a system that somehow escaped us,

and I'm beating myself up about it.

So Qs beat West Virginia.

Shout out Bob Huggins.

Legend of the game gets his 900th win on Friday night.

Love Huggy Bear.

Suck that they lost.

But Pat Forty said, I can't even say this to a straight face. I saw this.
Not saying this is a causal relationship, but the three coaches who seemed the least interested in wearing their masks this season were Brad Underwood, Bob Huggins, and Chris Beard. Gone, gone, gone.
So if you don't wear your mask, your team will lose in the tournament. Jesus Christ.
How does that guy's brain look real? Even if you are like... Who tracks that? Yeah, even if you're the most cautious person in the world when it comes to masks.
Like, Jake is extremely cautious about this. Yes.
To make the leap that like, wow, was he saying that this is like a judgment that's been cast upon them by by karma or was he saying out there we should have won more on madness than you should want your bitcoin exactly yes it also is very like yeah is there an analytics department was pat 40 just watching every game and like well there i've i've tracked it and bob huggins didn't have his mask around his nose for a total of 18 minutes and 23 seconds of game time.

Well, I mean, Nate Oates is a guy that he was criticized this year for being, like, lax with his mask policies. And last I checked, Alabama's doing pretty good.
Yeah. The other one we had was, it's hard to know, this is from Dan Woken, it's hard to know if there's a connection, But Roger Ayers, the ref who tested positive for COVID on Monday,

officiated the A-10 title game Sunday between VCU and St. Bonaventure.
He also worked Georgia Tech-Miami on Thursday. It's hard to know if there's a connection, but here's my connection that I'm making.
No, it's great. I'm a scientist.
Whenever you start a takeout with, it's hard to know a connection and then you make the connection. You're arguing against yourself already.
These guys are just waking up being like, okay, how can I figure out a way to weave COVID into my takes at all times today? Well, I think it's one of these things where a lot of sports journalists like to, at some point they realize that they do not like sports enough to just enjoy sports, and so they have to branch out to something bigger. They find something bigger that's more meaningful, whether that's politics or health or whatever expertise that they try to moonlight as.
But it's okay to just like the NCAA tournament and enjoy watching basketball. Have a good time.
That's okay to do too. Just hang out and watch some basketball.
Yeah, give your brain a break. The last game in this bracket, Rutgers-Houston.
Rutgers loses a devastating game. PFT and Jake lost a Bitcoin.
No, it wasn't. It was just PFT.
It was me and Brandon. Oh, you and Brandon.
But I was going to donate my share of Bitcoin to TJ. Yeah, the Barstool Fund lost thousands and thousands of dollars from this podcast that we would have donated.
Well, small businesses lost. Right, small businesses.
So I guess the only spin zone for Rutgers is like you feel something. You feel something.
You won a game. You won a game.
You won a game in the tournament. We're not taking that away from you.
The game against Clemson was electric. They played their guts out against Houston.
I hate to use the term, was the moment too big? At the end of the game, the moment might have seemed too big for Rutgers. And Houston...
I actually don't hate using that. I love using that term.
After I said it, I was like, fuck yeah, that sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Dude, Houston has to be the blandest, least likable team that's good at basketball.
Who likes Houston?

Calvin Sampson's a jerk.

Who likes that? Is he a jerk?

Hasn't he got a million infractions?

Oh no.

Calvin Sampson has a jerk. He's a jerk.

No, I think he did...

I want to say... I don't know if he's a Bruce pro.

Indiana for two years and Oklahoma.

What did he do? I think he left some recruits in limbo.

So I think actually.

Jerk.

Slumdog millionaire moment.

I think he had like recruited Scotty Reynolds, Villanova superstar, to go to Oklahoma and

then just like walked out.

I might be getting the terms wrong.

Eric Gordon.

But he like recruited people, got their commitments, and then just abandoned them. He's had a bunch of...
Either way, whatever. I don't like him.
And I don't like Houston. Sorry, Houston.
Who's even a fan of Houston? I do like their hand signal. So you're right.
This is how unlikable Houston is. Their hand sign is the shocker.
It's the two fingers and the one. And they're called the Cougars.
And we don't even care enough to make sex jokes about them. Right.
And Houston is essentially the bad guy villain foe for the team that you're rooting for in the Disney movie. Yeah.
Big city. There's the Houston Cougars.
And they have no real personality. They're always good but never really good.
Except in football where Dana is doing a tremendous job with the program. Obviously, I totally forgot about that.
But yes, we love Dana Holgerson. And that football team is incredible.
Fuck, I love Houston. I legitimately love Houston.
Yeah, no, football-wise, their stadium's awesome. That's where PFT tried out.
I went four for six inside of 38 dollars there. Hank, would have been nice if you threw in the fact that Dana was at Houston when I started this Houston game.
Well, no, but everything you just said, if they start winning, then they'll be the bad boys, the big bad powerhouse, Houston, Dylan. Everyone loves to heal.
Aren't they the team? They're always there, and they're good. I'm not saying they're not good.
They are a good team. But Rutgers was this plucky underdog.
They haven't been in the tournament in like 40 years. They're fucking winning.
And then Houston's like, nope, we're just going to take this. Yeah.
So if I'm Houston, you got to realize that you have an image problem. And the best way to solve an image problem is generally through nostalgia.
And the best way they can do that is just label their team. Five slam a jam.
Yeah. And just focus on dunking for a year.
Yeah. That's all it takes.
Like we still call Gulf coast dunk city, right? Yeah. That's still their nickname, and they might not have anyone who can actually touch rim anymore.

But if they just focus on dunking for one year, call themselves Phi Slamma Jamma 2,

like the return of the dunk, then from that point on, it's like, oh yeah, Houston,

they dunk a lot and people will love them.

Yes.

You're actually, yeah, we need to do a throwback because you're right.

Hakeem Olajuwon is a beloved, like everyone loves Hakeem Olajuwon. That guy was incredible.
Clyde Drexler, like, the whole thing. You're right.
So go back to that. Like, NC State has been living off their title forever.
Yeah. Do that.
Jim Milovano. Right, just do that.
Rutgers legend. Chicago Bears have been living off, like, there's, you can just say, if our image right now isn't so great, just every month and a half have Jim Belushi do a documentary about your team.
Also, Big J's love to drop to Houston. We have a problem whenever they lose.
That's true. That's going to be a tough one to shake.
I just don't know. There's something about Houston where I just watch them.
I'm like, these guys, because I think it's really the fact that they just don't play. The AAC is a tough conference.
It's a tough conference. Memphis, Wichita.
They just beat the shit out of everyone, but you never know if they're really for real. You know what it is? They play good defense, and their games are ugly.
I don't know. It's just something about Houston.
I think it's the fact that it's a big state school. It's in the fourth biggest city in the United States, but we don't look at it the same way that we look at other big state school like i look at the university of wisconsin i'm like that's a state school right houston is you know you're right they're not even little brother in texas when you think of like they're a huge campus they've got like i don't know 50 000 people that go to school there but when i think of texas excuse me that's that's all the acid creeping up on me i didn't that's okay before the show.
I think of, like, University of Texas. I think of A&M.
I think of Baylor before I think of Houston. Yes.
Even though they're not even a state school. Like, Houston has not done a good job representing themselves as being like, we're Texas.
Yes. No, you're right.
You're absolutely right. And I'm looking at their, yeah, because I'm looking at their recent tournament history.
This is exactly why. The last three years, they've gone, they were at second round, lost to Michigan.
I remember that game. They lost by one point.
They almost won with the buzzer beater. That was the Houston we have a problem game.
Yeah, they went to the Sweet 16, lost to Kentucky, and now they're in the Sweet 16 again. So I always respect them as a good team.
But, yeah, I guess they have to go to the final four for me to be like,

you know what, I don't hate Houston.

They just snatch other teams' dreams.

I don't hate them.

I just wish that they weren't as boring.

I mean, the fact is they're just a football school down there.

Dana is just the best.

If Oregon State holds on here, it's an 8, a 12, a 10 in the way of Houston.

Holy shit.

Did they even talk about Houston joining the Big 12?

Was that ever even a part of the convo back in 2012 or whenever it was?

I'm not going. So that's a big misstep right there.
At least get your name in the discussion for it. Yeah.
All right. PFT.
Yeah. We had a few Coors Light this weekend, didn't we? The mountains were very blue this weekend.
Here comes Oklahoma State. Here comes Oklahoma State.
Here comes Oklahoma State. Okay.
Hank, you went Moneyline? What did you do? I have the over. I have a lot.
I need the over. Okay.
I've got the spread, so I think I'm probably still good on that. I had the over in Oregon State Parlayed, Oregon State Moneyline, and then I also bet Oklahoma State Moneyline when they were down at halftime.
So if the over doesn't hit, I'm down bad. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars.
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Okay, we're going to watch the end of this Oklahoma State game as we go to the next side of the bracket. This is fucking crazy, man.
I can't believe we have eight games tomorrow. That was six points in ten seconds.
I can't believe we have eight more games tomorrow. I feel so, this is, I feel so bad if you live, if you're an Oregon fan and your game starts at nine o'clock on a Monday.
Oh, that's tough. Although maybe that's good.
And they get to watch their team play. Yeah, they get a chance to.
Yeah, that's a good point, Jake. Good point.
The one thing I've learned this weekend watching so much basketball with Jake Marsh is I can't watch sports with Jake Marsh. Jake is pure.
He's a pure guy. You know what? I actually discovered a different side of Jake this weekend because we were teamed up in the gambling contest.
I spent a lot of time with him. Jake's not a gambler, but he was this weekend.
He becomes a very negative, aggressive person when watching games that he's betting. Like, he— Oh, doesn't he? The dog comes out.
Jake dog comes out. Oh, yeah.
Yes, you do. Like, anytime something is like 50-50, Jake's like, we're fucked.
It's over. Like, he closes his computer.
He's like, we're fucked. We're fucked.
Here's the thing. That's not a way to bowl.
It isn't. There was 10K on the line.
Yeah, no. Well, we were going to donate some of it.
Yeah, it's still 10k. It's 4k.
Okay. Okay.
Thousands of dollars I could have won. Your positivity, which is pure, and I love it.
Like, I genuinely love it because it's very rare. We live in a very narcissistic, or not narcissistic.
Yes, that too. What was I going to say? We are pessimistic.
Pessimistic. There it is.
Cynical. Cynical.
Cynical. That's what I was going for.
Cynical and pessimistic society. And Jake is pure and enjoys sports and loves March Madness.
But when Wisconsin's getting, like, Baylor's nuts dragged in their face with alley-oops and dunks, and they're down 12, and I hear from the back row, that's all right, big cat. Just need a little run.
I'm just like, shut the fuck up, Jake. Like, let me die in peace.
Well, he was also thinking of the spread when he said that to you. He was like, oh, yeah, Big Cat doesn't have plus eight.
He actually wants his team to advance. Either way, I love you, Jake, and I can watch sports with you.
I love your love for March Madness. But it is right.
They get to watch their team compete in Oregon. They didn't get to do that.
They didn't play against VCU, I guess.

VCU advances to play against, what, Ian Book and Jack Cohn in the COVID region of Billy's bracket?

Yes, yes, yes.

All right, let's go to that bracket.

So, we'll start with that.

Oregon advances.

They're playing Iowa.

I'm going to say something nice about Iowa. Iowa is fucking good, okay? Iowa fans, they are.
I'm ready to admit it. They're fucking good.
They are. I still don't like Luka Garza, but I think Iowa is going to beat Oregon.
Is that just because you think that Iowa is turbo Wisconsin? No, it's because we don't got a lot left in the Big Ten, buddy. Yeah.
Oh, you root for an entire division? That's weird. Oh, yeah.
I saw some people tweeting me. I was like, dude, you don't understand the difference between college sports and NFL.
What is the difference? The fact that you get money. If you get bowl games, you get money.
Oh, you personally get money? No, the schools do. Okay.
The schools get money. So success of this of the conference actually matters for that you get you know the benefit of the doubt when doing the seeding when doing march madness when doing bowl games when doing college football playoffs when that gets money all that matters so you actually take that seriously no i hate i i and i actually will say i hate iowa and i hate ohio state and i hate all these schools you won't actually say you hate the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys.
It's funny that we're actually having this conversation. I think that our relationship with the divisions is exactly the same.
I don't think it's even remotely the same. I think it's exactly the same.
The Dallas Cowboys' success doesn't help you at all. No, you're right.
It doesn't help me at all. Iowa's success does help Wisconsin when it comes to if they get better bowl games.
But you would still rather have them lose. No, you're right.
It doesn't help me at all. Iowa success does help Wisconsin when it comes to if they get better bowl games.

But you would still rather have them lose.

No, I'm sick of everyone saying the Big Ten sucks.

That's exactly me.

No, it's not.

To a T.

What?

With the NFC Vs. For one year?

Yeah.

Right, one year.

I've been saying this for a few years because the best part about the NFC East... A few years.
Is you get... What? Yeah, you get to...
No, here's what happened. You hated the Giants.
All the NFC East fans are like... You hated the Giants this year under the radar.
I kept on saying the Giants were an average team. You would say, no, they're not.
And Giants fans came at you, and you're like, all right, I'll just start rooting for the entire NFC East. No, that's not at all what happened.
That's what happened. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because the best thing that you could say back in the day was, like, in the early 2000s, mid-2000s, was, yeah, the NFC Beast, we used to beat each other up back in the day. We had that run from 1986 through 1995.
It's all, like, pointing back to that era, the golden era of the NFC beast so it's always like on the horizon of like this is our resurgence as a division that's that's what I tap into when I tap into the NFC beast fandom but you do understand how different it is for college sports when it comes to like everything I know that I do understand there's there's a tangible there's a tangible bonus benefit right you get from it but I still think that you would rather see a Big Ten team lose. I was, see, Iowa, like, their arrival in football, like, Ohio State, I'd rather, I laughed.
I thought that was hilarious. I wasn't, like, rooting for Ohio State against Oral Roberts.
I don't give a fuck. I do think that, like, it would be nice if the Big Ten could win a national title once in a while so that everyone's like, you suck.
It's a trickle-down effect with the entire conference. I will lessen my fraud label on Iowa, but it's only in the interest of potentially getting a retweet from George Kittle at some point.
I'm just saying this because it would be hilarious if I say all this nice stuff about Iowaowa and by the time this podcast comes out they've lost i this is a strategic play on my part so i would they uh i mean it was a 215 so i don't know what you can take away from that i i thought that luca looked nice he didn't look as sweaty and slippery and uh and like what's the word i'm looking for with a pale smooth skinned slippery individual who's kind of big and hairy Yeah. There's a word out there, lummox.
Well, he is a lummox. A galoot.
Luca is, like, Luca's size, if we were 300 years ago, he would be the most famous person in this, like, in a thousand-mile radius of where he was born. Have you heard of Luca? Yeah, have you heard of the man who can throw rocks over his head? Yeah, well, in a thousand mile radius of where he was born.
Have you heard

of Luka? Yeah, have you heard of the man who can throw

rocks over his head? Yeah, well, yeah,

he's ten feet tall and can shoot fireballs

out of his arms. He is.
He would be the king

of Iowa. Yes, he would.
He would be Mr. Corn.

He would. I thought that

they played a perfectly

nice brand of basketball. No, I'm just, I'm literally

just saying this just so that if they lose, it would be

funny and be like, oh, I said something nice about Iowa.

Alright, so Oregon's going to play them.

Gonzaga, they're just

Thank you. nice brand of basketball no i'm just i'm literally just saying this just so that if they lose it would be funny like oh i said something nice about iowa uh all right so oregon's gonna play them uh gonzaga they're just really really good uh and they're going to probably cakewalk to the final four um ohio ohio is the story of the tournament i hope i i know that jake will have this on his one shining moment but ohio has jason preston who, if you've been watching college basketball, you know who he is.
They beat Illinois in November, kind of shocked them, in Champaign. But he is the story of the tournament because he's a former blogger turned college basketball player turned possible NBA player.
And his story is awesome because he went from high school, averaged two points a game. Skip Bayless.
Went to UCF, grew four inches as a freshman, went back to like a prep school. He went back to high school? Yes.
Like never been kissed? Yes. Was awesome there.
Never been recruited. This is a fucking teen movie.
Made a mixtape for himself that Bo Ryan's son, Will, who was on the Ohio coaching staff, saw. They recruited him, and now he just upset Virginia, the reigning national champs, and he's got awesome hair.
He's really good at basketball. He used to be a Pistons blogger.
He's the story of the tournament. He's the one that if Ohio can win tomorrow against Creighton, there will be so many stories written about him.
That's my guy now. Yes.
Jason Preston. He's awesome.
So I hadn't heard all these stories about but the most impressive thing that you said right there to me was the fact that he was a Pistons blogger.

Yes. So a Pistons blogger in high school for the last five years, you didn't really have that much to write about.

The fact that you were dedicated to writing about those Pistons tells me that you are open invite.

I want to hire this guy. If you don't make it to the NBA, I want to hire him, but just as a Pistons tells me that you are open invite.
I want to hire this guy.

If you don't make it to the NBA, I want to hire him, but just as a Pistons blogger. And he's got also the sentimental.
So he's from Orlando. His mom was a big Pistons fan.
They bonded over it. His mom tragically passed away, I think, from cancer when he was 16.
So I'm telling you, if they make it to the next, it's Sweet 16, Jim Nance is going to

like just be

openly So I'm telling you, if they make it to the next, it's Street 16, Jim Nance is going to just be openly sobbing with the story that he's going to be telling about this kid on our screen. He is going to be a darling of March that the whole world talks about.
What year is he? He's a junior. So not eligible for the tie? Not eligible for the tie.
But he's a blogger, so he probably wouldn't accept the tie. Right.
Not part of the outfit. Well,'d have to win a national title yeah they also have gonzaga if they win tomorrow well you think gonzaga's good a little bit i am uh i'm now rooting for he's awesome he's an awesome player ohio was just better than i mean virginia was up for a while but they went to their classic virginia we're just not going to score for forever uh by the way oregon state has won.
Oregon State's the hottest team in the country. Let's go.
They're incredible. The Beavers.
Shout out to Beavers. Beavers.
An 8, a 12, an 11, and a 2. Wait.
In that region. Wow.
Just looking real quick here. That's crazy.
We'd have to get to the Final Four to get a Beaver-Oral matchup? Yes. Okay.
Yeah. It's a long way away.
Put that in my French tickler file. It's a long way away.
But either way yeah jason presson tomorrow and also they call him uh uh poor man's lamello because he got the same hair okay but lamello got hurt so maybe he's a rich man's lamello for the rest of the season which sucks lamello is rich so like 99.999 percent of people could be a poor man's lame, true. So yeah, he is the guy that everyone should root for.

He's the guy that's going to get talked about.

The guys that almost became the darlings of March Madness

were the Groves Brothers from Eastern Washington

that had Kansas on the ropes in the first half.

One of them looks like a lumberjack.

The other looks like Bob Dylan.

No, they were straight up.

It was Superbad.

Yeah.

It was the cover of Superbad if it was about... Teen Wolf meets super bad that's what you get with the groves brothers i was rooting hard for him i always like a good brothers team yes and you get you get lots of brothers teams in march bad it also like i know that they're just brothers but you got to just go by twins yeah like it's way better to be the grove twins than the groves brothers i was disappointed when i heard that they were i actually i assumed they were twins just say your twin and then when they're like no they're just brothers even if they're like you know just lie and say irish twins there probably are irish twins like born what eight months apart yeah and like it's like the uh it's the the martin brothers in nevada shout out my bus they were actually twins but that just made them that much better, Caleb and Cody Martin.
The Morris twins. Yeah.
You just got to be twins. I just like the idea.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito.
Yeah, I like the idea of twins changing out. If one twin sucks, or one twin gets in foul trouble, the good twin does, and then they just switch jerseys at halftime real quick.

Yeah. And then they come out.
It's like, wow, the bad twin got good all of a sudden. We're going to bench this guy for the rest of the game.
Buddy and Jimmy. Yeah.
Bayheim, the twins. But yeah, they were the...
You need to win a game to be a true March Madness story, and they were that close. Yeah.
Well, they are definitely going to be in Jake's list of one-chime moments. Our guy, Rico Bosco, said that he watched Bill Self do a beeline to Tanner Groves, the better of the twins, who I think is a senior at Eastern Washington, potential grad transfer to Kansas next year.
So that would be incredible. And he was.
He was a big guy, hairy big guy who could shoot there are certain march peep march guys jason preston is one of them like they're just march madness stories yeah that you just love and you just see them on the screen you're like oh that's a march madness story yeah i miss those guys i miss like all the storylines all the weird shit that comes out this guy you know what they should do there should be a tournament every year for teams that are eliminated where you take the best guys from all the teams that just got bounced and you let them play in one final game, like an all-star game. Yeah.
They do have a 3v3 at the Final Four. They can start winning money for the seniors.
Yeah, Mark Tudas. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, I like that.
So both the Twins would definitely be on my list. Who else would be? There was one other big.
Well, Cameron Crutwig, obviously. Yeah, but he's still around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
We'll update the list as we go. Okay.
Give me another name. Another name that would be on there.
Who got bounced? Who got bounced? UCSB had some guys. The Gauchos are just cool.
Yeah. They're just a cool That was tough.
Yeah. J-Rock McLaughlin.
And Grand Canyon, the Antelopes. J-Rock? That's what they call him, yeah.
There was a guy in Cleveland State, I think, that cried a lot. A lot, a lot.
Just kids. Yeah, just kids.
If you're the biggest crier, the one who's the most upset after a loss, I want that guy to get another shot. I don't want that to be the last time he sees a basketball court picket.
I remember that because there was also a guy in Texas Southern who was crying a lot, a lot. And again, they're just kids, so I'm not going to say anything bad, but they're just kids.
But if you're a 16 seed, did you really think you're going to win? Yeah, but you see in their face and their emotions the realization that this might be the last time. They were down 20.
I put on this shirt. Well, no, no, because it's the COVID year.
That's true. So they can all keep playing.
Yeah, but I think the biggest crier should get a spot. Yes.
Should be a crier spot. Yes.
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Or Cameron Crutwig's post moves. Yeah, or just Sister Jean.
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You can get your first month of swipes for just five dollars when you choose a monthly plan that's get roman.com slash take all right oregon state advances hottest team in the world what a fucking tournament what what chaos it's the best i'm happy because i so i got fucked by oregon state like last friday in the-12 tournament. And it's a dangerous thing because you can go spite or you can be like, hey, you know what? Let's just roll with them.
I thankfully have gone, let's just roll with them. And I bet on them the last three games.
And it's been awesome. If you can't beat them, join them.
Yeah, you have to make that decision very quickly. Are you going to have some fun and just fucking roll with it? Or are you going to like fuck them i'm gonna keep fading them till they lose you know what i was just thinking one other kind of uh bonus about this march madness and don't don't get me wrong i don't like the setup i like thursday friday saturday sunday for the first round my body is all screwed up monday's gonna suck for you if you have like a nine to five job it's gonna be awful to be bad for me too because I'm going to be flying.
But this whole weekend with the game on Monday, it's like daylight savings time took on an entire day. It like pushed my entire week back 24 hours.
Right, and I still watched all the Thursday games, so it felt like Thursday had seven or eight hours of basketball. In a 16-seed game.
Great job by the NCAA scheduling two Blue Bloods playing. That actually made everybody want to watch all the games on Thursday night because having UCLA and Michigan State go up against each other, it felt like a tournament game at that point, so it felt like a tournament day.
My prediction is the NCAA is going to think about doing something similar to that next year. I don't know if it's going to be like the entire schedules thrown off again, but they'll definitely have like the two biggest names that are.
They might even there might be some monkey business when it comes to the last four in where they don't invite teams like smaller alumni bases. They just get two bona fide giant state schools to square off in that first game for ratings.
Right, right. And also shout out Tom Izzo for getting angry.
Tom Izzo, listen, Tom Izzo, I'm just going to put all of my Curry Ball complaints on Tom Izzo. We'll call it Izzo Ball.
The end of that game was case in point. Players don't drive to the bucket anymore.
Yes. In the last 10 seconds of the game.
Well, that's a perfect segue to Abilene Christian in the East driving to the bucket, getting a completely fucked up phantom call that was not a foul, but that's the point, that if you go to the bucket, sometimes things can happen that game was to say it was a rock fight is like it just is is actually uh really offensive to rock fights because there was a moment where it's the end of saturday night and texas has 23 turnovers and the uh like they had to stop the refs had to stop the, like, the fourth time in three minutes because someone was gushing blood. And you're like, what is going on here? And Abilene Christian's coach has a fucking clear herpy on, alleged herpy cold sore.
A double lipper. It was on top end bottom.
Literally, this is the greatest year to have a herpy outbreak during the tournament. Just keep your goddamn mask on.
That's what I'm saying. Pat Forty should have tweeted about that guy instead of everybody else.
I couldn't believe it. That guy hates wearing masks so much that he won't even cover up a herp, a double herp.
And he also looked a lot like Will Muschamp, by the way. Yeah.
Which was pretty funny to see him. Yes, it was.
Like getting sweaty and screaming at Texas. Because it might have just been Will Muschamp.
Yes. We don't know.
But at the end of that game, I think they had to take a double timeout towards the end because there's too much blood. The floor was bleeding.
Yes. Like you were watching the game in a haunted house that you were staying at and house-sitting for a weekend.
The floor was just oozing blood up from the ground. It was a crazy end of the game.
They took the ball to the hole. A guy who was, what, 56% foul shooter.
Yep. Goes to the line.
Makes both of them. I mean, that's the most clutch foul shots that I've seen in a long time.
Incredible. The game was just terrible but great, and it was March.
When people say, how can you watch college basketball, it's not even close to the NBA product. No, duh.
The NBA is incredible. The shot we had, we had our guy, Blake Griffin, who dunked, no big deal, up in one corner watching the Nets game.
And if you just glanced up there and you saw any open shot just be a perfect swish, you're like, whoa, what sport is that? That's not what we're watching. We're just bricks're just bricks bricks bricks but it's the drama and it's the fact that this game sucked but it was incredible uh but shout out to that coach so joe golding i saw this tweet from uh chris vanini he said so uh abilene christian joined division one basketball in 2014 since then their Ken Palm rankings, 348, 342, 317, 298, 262, 152, 184, and now 80.
So it's literally, you can watch him build this program until this point where they beat an in-state team, Shaka Smart. This was like the resurgence year for Shaka Smart.
who saved his job. You have to shave your head again, dude.
The fact that you shaved your head

and you had that hair is still, like bald people everywhere hate Shaka Smart. It's jarring looking at him.
Yes. It's very strange.
I mean, the nice thing, I always compare him to Bill Soft, or not Bill Soft, Rick Barnes. And Shaka Smart's performance, at least, wasn't as bad as the University of Tennessee's.
So I still think I'm going to chalk this. This year goes to Shaka Smart.
Yes. It was it Texas.
I mean, turning the ball over 23 times is impressive. That's impressive.
Like that's that's really, really hard to do. And then the horns down at the end.
Oh, can't have the horns down. I love the horns.
Texas is back. All right..
Other parts of this bracket. Turns out what I said last week about everyone talking about how the Georgetown was incredible and Patrick Ewing and the Big East tournament.
Turns out maybe not so much. So Colorado just torched them.
Yeah. And Hank got in my own head and just walked around saying, you got to respect the Big East.
And I asked him to name the teams of the Big East. He got six.
Seven. He's like Louisville, Syracuse, UConn.
South Florida. Yeah.
So the Big East. He got it in my head.
I don't want to say I told you so about Georgetown, but I told you exactly so when we interviewed Stanford Steve. This is it to a T.
And I feel bad rooting against Georgetown because I like Georgetown. I want to root for Georgetown.
I want to be like, this is the return of old school punch you in the face, no blood, no foul basketball. I want to root for him.
I like Patrick Ewing. I think he's a nice guy.
I think he's obviously like a living legend. He's probably doing good stuff at Georgetown.
But it was just all the warning signs were blinking bright red red saying this is not the team that you want to bet on. I said it on Sunday night, like they beat, it's great they won the Big East, but the Big East was not the Big East this year with some of the problems.
Nova getting all the injuries, the P-bomb from Doug McDermott, like the other team, Marquette wasn't good. Seton Hall was a disappointment.
LSU, St. Bonaventures was another.
That was the Winthrop effect where everyone was like, St. Bonneys, they're good, they're awesome.
They were never. It's a fun one to abbreviate.
Right. A lot of people like to talk about the mid-majors that they can toss like a little, I know a fun fact about them.
You can call them the Bonneys. And LSU was just, it was dominant.
It was, yeah. So I felt like a fool for that one.
Will Wade, maybe. Yeah, Michigan LSU is going to be a great game.
And then the bottom of the bracket, shout out Maryland. Never really close with UConn.
Well, UConn was in my final four. Whoops.
Oh, I had, you see, the best was, I love when people try to like dunk on us for our opinions, not realizing like, dude, we one, we give opinions basically constantly. Yeah.
Also, you're probably smarter than us. Yeah.
If you're hearing my voice right now. Yeah.
We're idiots. Three, we're 95% of the time joking and four were like C2 were idiots.

So there was a tweet.

I don't know if it was the Maryland.

Except for Jake.

Yeah, except for Jake.

For the Maryland account and Billy.

The Maryland account.

I don't think it was the Maryland account

but it was someone made a list of everyone who picked UConn

and it said sports media experts

and I was at the top of the list. I'm like, I'm an expert? You did me for Creighton too because I wanted UC Santa Barbara.
We're experts? I guess. I am not.
Listen, if I were an expert, I'd have a lot more money in my gambling account right now. Yeah, so we are not experts despite how, I guess, impressive we might sound and knowledgeable we might sound.
We're absolutely not that. I that maryland it's either an iron sharpens iron situation or maryland recruited umbc's social media person because maryland's twitter account it's been pretty good recently yeah no it's like they've been they've been tweeting the where's duke stuff they uh they put up a fire meme where it was the tortoise as the stunk guy and said torps on it that made me laugh that is funny this is stuff that the university of maryland would not have done were it not for the umbc upset of uva a couple years ago where their neighbor absolutely posterized all of twitter for a solid three hours right right exactly um it Exactly.
It's Maryland. Shout out Maryland.

I don't want to be on the bad side of Maryland.

I don't want Scott Van Pelt to just hate us because he's very passionate.

What time is their game tomorrow?

What time is their game, Jake?

Standby.

It's not early because Iowa's first.

Yeah, they're playing Alabama.

Make sure to FaceTime Stanford Steve tomorrow.

During the game.

So they are 745 Central, 845 Eastern.

Okay, so they're playing Alabama tomorrow.

Alabama beat Iona.

Yep.

Rick Pitino.

Rick Pitino got bounced.

You want me to read the text messages I got after the game?

I'm not going to make a 15-second joke.

You want me to read the text messages I got after the game for my stalker?

Dan Katz, I am a close... Whoa, I am a close to Coach Rick Pitino and even closer to Richard Pitino.
We understand you have shown a level of respect for Coach Rick, and that is appreciated. I have.
I've shown a great level of respect for Coach Rick Pitino. I think he did a great job with Iona this year.
He's a legend of the game, Hall of Famer. 52-day layoff.

52-day layoff.

Unbelievable story.

So he said, let me just go back because I just threw in a lot of stuff.

We understand you have shown a level of respect for Coach Rick,

and that is appreciated.

We also know your piece of shit sidekick is still defaming coach.

Iona was a great success,

and we will show your sidekick some manners one way or another.

I'll take the one way. I don't want the other.
Whatever the other way is doesn't sound like it's for me. And I just wrote back, and I said, here's his address.
Oh, thank you. I appreciate it.
So, all right. I respect what Rick Pitino's done.
I absolutely do. I've transferred my stalker to you.
Listen, I've always respected Coach Pitino. He's a Hall of Famer, PFT.
The championship that they won at louisville should count the banner should be up i've always said that uh-huh i think he's a great coach what he did over in greece was wonderful just like the ability to go over there and transform a foreign program like that in a country that you don't have any experience in it's he's a legend it's the stuff legends are made of and then he comes back here takes, guides them through a COVID year where they, I mean, you talk about adversity and a tumultuous season. Iona probably had it worse than anybody.
And they needed the steady, guiding, slippery hand of Rick Pitino to guide them through this COVID year and put them into this matchup. And it's unfortunate that they got bounced in the first round.
But I think I like what he's doing at the program, Big Cat,

and it'll be interesting to see how long he lasts at Iowa.

Okay, see?

No, no, I'm serious.

No, it's fine.

Do you think that he's going to go to a different program?

No, it's fine.

It's on you now.

It's on me.

It's on you.

It's on you.

I've shown respect for Coach Rick.

I said a lot of nice things about Coach Rick.

Sure.

Sure you did. You said a lot of nice things.
It actually wasn't me that said all those things in the past. It was Billy.
Billy. It was Billy.
You should actually frame Billy. Yeah, Billy said all those things that you think that I said.
It was a little joke that we had for a while. Let's see how drunk Billy is right now.
Billy texted us. Remember, it's almost 1 in the morning back home.
Oh, I'm sorry. Should I not call Billy? No, I'm just...
Okay. He's probably studying now, Big Cat.
He texted us at four o'clock this afternoon. He's like, hey, do you guys need me to hop on Zoom for the show tonight? Which was translation, hey, can I get fucking drunk as shit and play Warzone? Yes, Billy, you can.
Let's see. Do you think he picks up? No.
Nope. I think he's going to.
I think he's going to. What is he? He's not going to go to sleep at 1 in the morning.
If he's smart, he wouldn't pick up. I wouldn't pick up.
It's 1230. I would not pick up this call.
I would say that I went to bed. Yeah.
Because you were. I'm embarrassing you called.
Oh. He ignored you.
He hit the ignore. Yeah.
He's playing more zone. That was like three rings.
No. No.
I think he's yugging. He's mid-yugging? Did you see his tweet earlier today? What did he say? Where he put up a tweet saying, like, should I stay at college, yes or no? And one of them was like, the mountains are blue.
So, yeah. He's definitely.
There was a poll that said, please help consult. Option one was drive home and get good sleep.
And the second one was you only get college once with a mountain emoji, the letter R, and then a blue square. So, yeah, so Billy, some advice in the future.
You don't have to put up a poll. You can just get drunk.
I actually think he would say that to us. I actually think he was smart.
I respect all these moves Billy's made because I think if we called him, be like, no, well, I asked Twitter what I should do, and they told me to stay, so I had to. Yeah, it's true.
The people decided. So it's your fault.
It's the people's chance. It's the listener's fault that Billy's drunk tonight.
But I'll be serious about Rick Pitino. I think that he's a very good coach, and I think that he's done a good job at Iona.
I hope that he stays there. I like having Rick Pitino on Long Island.
I hope he builds into a big program. Is it Long Island? I think so.
It's Westchester. New Rochelle.
I can't keep track of all that stuff. Close enough.
But I like what he's done, and I hope he sticks around. And I actually enjoy college basketball is a better place when Rick Pitino's on the sidelines.
Yes, agreed. All right, let's do – oh, wait.
Do you have Hep Cronin in your one-shining moments? I do not. Wow.
They could have made it – they still have one extra game, but no. Well, UCLA, Mick Cronin's dad, they hadn't seen each other in like a year.
That was a nice moment after the game. That's a big story.
I love that. It's a late term.
It's so funny where it's like we're watching these kids play and half the screen time is just to the coach's dad. Hank's just watching gang fights over here.
What are you watching? Who's spring break is back. Really? All right, wait.
Hold on. Let's do who's back of the week.
I have my list. I know.
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Go download it and buy some Bitcoin. Hank, why don't you start? So spring break is back because you're watching just people kick the shit out of each other.
Wait, I want to see this. This fight's been going on for like three minutes and it's just as violent as it was when it started.
Let me see. I'm going to text you right now.
I want to see it. I want to see this fight.
This looks like a Royal Rumble. I love these fights.
Just like people keep sprinting in. One hour ago, so it's literally from tonight.
It's absolutely, my New Year's resolution is something like absolutely crazy. This is not a representation of New Year's resolution.
Spring. Holy shit, this is awesome.
Yeah. Is there titties? Oh, yeah.
I've already seen three tits. Oh, my God.
Dude, you know what always amazes me with these type of videos is, like, the presence of mind for the cameraman to just get all the action. Yeah, they're right in.
This is a great shot. Wait, was there a dog in there? No, was that? The tweet is from at TJ1K.
Miami is nuts right now. Bruh.
Cry emoji. If you want to go look.
Oh, more titties. Just got more.
There were some good St. Patrick's Day ones too.
St. Patrick's Day one, there was one where this girl just had her left boob hanging out the entire time in the fight and then she adjusted it and one second later her right boob popped out.
It happens. You can't script that.
That was an incredible fight. Oh my god, someone just ended up fully on naked.
There was also the video, did you see the spring break video, the kid escaping the cop car and everyone just starts running with him. Absolutely amazing video.
Spring break's back. My other who's back was Kylie Jenner.
Everyone's favorite Kardashian was in the news. Her personal hairstylist had to get brain surgery.
Needed like $60,000. And Kylie Jenner, the billionaire, was nice enough to post on her story the GoFundMe for her personal hairstylist.
$60,000 surgery. And she herself donated $5,000.
That's great. Good for her.
You know what? If Rutgers had hit, we would have donated at least $2,000., and she herself donated $5,000. Whoa! That's great.
Good for her. You know what?

If Rutgers had hit, we would have donated at least $2,000. I would have personally matched Kylie Jenner's $5,000.
Same. And I think that Kylie can probably make the case that the exposure that she gave to GoFundMe via a retweet was probably worth, what, $200,000? Is that kind of the going rate for her? So really her hairstylist owes her, what would that be, $140,000.
So she should expect an invoice for that. Yeah, so she's trending for all the right reasons.
By the way, the schedule is out for next Saturday. You have the Syracuse games at 10 o'clock.
That sucks. Because that's whenacon Zag in 2016.
Oh, okay, there you go. But either way, the guy David Warlock.
Yeah, he's great. He is great.
His name's Warlock. I follow him year-round.
He said they define an upset as a team seated five spots or more lower than their opponent. This year has already set the record with 11 such occurrences, and we're midway through the second round.

Jake, I want to back up real quick.

You said you follow him year-round.

Does that imply that there are people that you don't?

Do you do unfollow seasonally?

Yeah, 100%. I do that with some people, too.

So what's that schedule like?

I've never heard of that before.

It's never occurred to me.

Tiger Tracker?

I don't want to hear Tiger Tracker's opinions on the world.

Oh, I do.

That's when you get the real shit. It's like when people are bored out of season.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, I unfollow seasonally. I mean, Tiger Tracker's definitely a guy.
Well, it's actually multiple. But in the middle of September when it's like the something old thing.
I think it's multiple people. Shut up.
Yeah. What are they doing now? I don't know.
I don't follow him. Tiger's at home.
Tiger's in the hospital. I think he's at home now.
Shout out, Tiger. Shout out.
Shout out. Just big ups, Tiger.
Respect. We haven't said that in a while, so big ups, Tiger.
Hope he's doing okay. Should have wore red today.
Fuck! Next Sunday, remind me. We should do that.
Every Sunday until he plays again. Every Sunday we're going to wear red.
All right, BFT, who's your who's back? My who's back of the week is going to be drugs. Oh, not a drug guy.
Not a drug guy. Well, I mean, come get your man's big cat.
Yeah. Because the Chicago Cubs have a prospect.
Oh, I saw that. His name's Jesus, probably Jesus.

Jesus Carmago was arrested after police found 21 pounds of meth in his team equipment bag.

And so I guess he's been on the team since 2015.

So it's not like a new guy.

21 pounds of meth is Walter White levels of meth.

Like 21 pounds.

I don't think that my bag, if you check, if you put your bag on that thing at the airport where they weigh it, I guess it's called a scale. I don't think my bag usually tops 20 pounds.
Well, you have a baby bag. I don't check that one, big cat.
That's a tiny bag. But you know what I'm saying? How did you get that bag? Did you sell wrapping paper door to door and then you got that as a prize? That's a funny joke.
I mean, it's not a joke. So I had shoulder surgery for my torn labrum.
Okay. When I was playing rugby, I was in the Division III state championship.
Okay. When I was in Texas.
You win? And I started. They took me out of the game.
We were winning. You would have said it.
No, we were winning. We came in second place.
They took me out of the game. Out of two.
We were winning. Anyways, regardless, I had shoulder surgery.
Okay. And my mom was like, you need a bag that you're going to be traveling a little bit.
You need a bag that you can put up on the airplane into the overhead compartment. So she bought you a cooler? As you're rehabbing from your shoulder surgery when I couldn't lift my arm up.
And so then that was the bag that I carried. Got it.
Yeah. And I still carry it for some reason.
It's like when i saw ken rosenthal on the plane and he uh to put the bag up he hopped up on the seat like i don't want to make fun of that but it's funny i was like holy shit you gotta know yeah like man i just stow it in the front or check it i just i would just buy clothes when i got there rather than do that not me though i can i can straight up dunk i can dunk my suitcase into that overhead he did it so quickly it's clearly something he's good at yeah it was like one motion whoop uh but regardless what i'm saying is like when you fly with a bag and you put on it most bags don't weigh more than 20 pounds even if you're traveling like for a weekend. That's a significant amount of meth.
So I don't know if the Cubs have... Yeah, that's a lot.
Is the Chicago Cubs, are they a front for the cartels? Is this something that's an organizational thing where he's assigned to do that? I wouldn't put it past Ricketts to make money any which way. Maybe that's why Theo...
That guy will find a way to make money. That's why Theo left.
Yeah. He found out about it.
He will find a way to make money.'s why theo left yeah he found out about it he will find a way to make money if he i would not shock me it'd actually be kind of it'd be good for baseball yeah if the chicago cubs were just straight up like the juarez cartel fine by me maybe that would get rickets yeah actually i don't know i don't want him out but yeah he's whatever um yeah i i fully think i was i was hanging out with some friends before we did the stream today, and we were joking about, because one of my buddies who I have season tickets to the Cubs with, we were joking that Ricketts is going to do, he's going to open up the stadium 20%. They're going to have one concession stand, then they're going to do surge pricing on that.
It's going to be genius. It's absolutely going to happen.
All right, so my who's back is the Big Ten. I actually have a list.
So people have been saying they suck. They do.
But I have a list of teams that are still in the tournament that are in the Big Ten. Rutgers, covered 8.5 easily.
You'd agree? You're wearing a Rutgers hat? I do agree with that. Michigan, actually still in it.
Ohio, because Bo Ryan's son recruited Jason Preston, and also Mac is Big Ten junior. And I think also that since Ohio State got bounced, Ohio takes their place as the university of Ohio.
Wisconsin, just for their Friday night performance, I mean, it's trivia now. Roy Williams is 29-1 in the first round.

Who's their one loss?

Wisconsin. Maryland, Iowa, Gonzaga, we talked about with Mark Titus, Jalen Suggs, Mr.
Basketball from Minnesota. Loyola's Big Ten country.
That's a no-brainer, right? I mean, Cameron Crutwig is the Big Ten mascot. Right, exactly.
If you had a mascot for the entire conference, it's him. Yes.
Alabama, because Nate Oates got his, I think, graduate degree from Madison. And middle school teacher in Michigan.
There you go. That was Romulus.
Yeah, Arkansas. Don't come at Jake with these.
Yeah, Arkansas just because we're friends with Eric Musselman. And I think his dad coached in Minnesota.
His dad coached in Minnesota. They're too fun.
His dad coached in Minnesota. And Oregon State wasn't Obama's brother-in-law.
Oh, yeah. He was the head coach at one point.
So that counts. And Tinkle's their head coach.
It rhymes with Hinkle. Hinkle's in Indiana.
Oh, there we go, Jake. Tinkle and Hinkle.
Jake has consistently one-upped your fun facts in this entire world. There it is.
That was great. You know what we should actually do at some point? We should sit down and make mascots for every conference.
Yeah, we should. Dave, we absolutely need that.
That's a good, like, off-season. By the way, oh, who's back of the week? Did you see Joe Biden going up those stairs? Yeah.
That's all I got fucking ate it twice you know what you can't you can't do what joe biden did and that is the initial reaction whenever you trip going upstairs is let me speed my pace up to show everyone how athletic i am and haha i didn't trip up these stairs well then you stairs. Yeah.
So it's the Gerald Ford. At least he tripped going down the stairs when he was getting off the plane, which Joe Biden should have done.
When you trip on a staircase or anywhere, if you ever trip, you look down at the ground where you just tripped and you act like there's something that you stepped on and you're like, Oh, what was that? You're like, what was that? You're like, you scuff it up a little bit with your foot. You try to fix whatever the divot was.
It was not a good performance by Uncle Joe. I would just lay there and have them cart me off.
That would be one way to do it. Or just go fall down the stairs.
And then it's like, hey, I broke my neck. What are you going to say? It would be, so I'm not rooting for this to happen.
But if a president were to like be walking up the stairs into air force one trip going up the stairs and then fall over the railing like 30 feet and break it would objectively be very funny i just laughed thinking about it yeah um all right let's wrap up the show with jake's this is jake's predictions for one shining moment so i asked him to take a running tally as we watch games all weekend what he thinks will end up in one shining moment this is important because we're gonna like we will watch one shining moment and we will fact check against it yeah okay i'll try my best oh i like this task yeah um this is basically like if you, a young Jake Marsh dreamed of doing something like this. Yeah.
I'm all for it. Number one, the Virginia Tech tying three to four SOT.
That was an unreal way to say the tournament. Yeah.
Was that team three? Did they win? No. It didn't end up mattering, but it was still.
Yeah, but it's going to be in there. I mushed him.
Big time. I tweeted out the Florida win beforehand.
Yeah, you did. Almost cost us that entire thing.
Yeah, you did. Yeah.
I had the under. Also from that game, my who's back was going to be blood because every time there's someone with bloody on the floor, they just show it, and they show the blood on the floor, they show the slow-mo.
So Florida's Tyree Appleby had a bloody nose, I feel like. You're fighting for your life.
You're a shooting star. Yeah.
Yeah. Exactly.
Fighting for your life.

Yeah.

Something from the Oral Roberts upset.

Yep.

Something.

All those years.

No one knows.

They.

I mean,

Obenauer and Ace Miss.

They're two sharp shooters.

Okay.

Just them making threes.

Maybe.

You know what it should be.

They should just cut in.

They should really quick cut in that meme of the what see versus what she sees for the Oral Roberts game.

One-shining moment is bigger than memes.

Please don't belittle Jay.

The day a meme enters a one-shining moment is the day I'm out.

Yes, agreed.

The highlight that actually sparked this assignment, Gonzaga, someone threw it off the backboard and the other guy dunked it.

I'm like, that's going to make one-shining moment. That's what sparked this.
That's right. That's right.
So they did that against Norfolk State. Tanner Grove's getting taken out for Eastern Washington crying.
Yep. That'll do it.
Yep. All those years.
Ohio's dagger three against Virginia. Yep.
Here's what I told PFT. This is my long shot.
They're going to put a random VCU highlight from the regular season to give them their shine. Isn't that great? Or the conference championship, maybe them cutting down the nets.
They can't get robbed in one shining moment. They made the tournament.
They have to be included. Jake's absolutely right.
But they didn't win their tournament, so maybe not. That's fair.
They don't put just winners in. No, I know, but I'm saying they were not large.
Like I'm saying, maybe they'll just put a Dan Wolkin tweet in there. I'm telling you, they're going to include something about BC.
This is where Jake's Big J journalist brain is like, he's got a radar lock. Yes, okay.
Yeah. Sister Jean crowd shot, that's obvious.
Maybe her doing the hand pat. Yeah.
The hand pat. Yeah.
pat Yeah Rutgers' first tournament Went since 1983 So maybe a shot Or a dunk Or a crowd shot Oh yeah They deserve credit They haven't been one A shot Jack Shaw Jack April Yeah Buddy Behan Making a three There's plenty to choose from A Baylor monster dunk Somewhere Over Wisconsin There were like I don't know Too many to pick from And more I had. It was late night last night.
The Abilene Christian player doing horns down after reading Texas. Yep.
Yep. That might not.
Is that not NCAA? It's not. Yeah.
Is that not good sportsmanship? Well, the University of Texas will, like, threaten to withhold all their financial aid that they would ever give to any other school. Yeah.
Yeah. If the NCAA disrespected them.
So, Hank, can you look at them? What about the UCLA bros? Yeah, we can get them. Again, we still have half the second round.
Yeah. Okay.
I'll tweet out since the show will already be out. No, I want a running list so don't tweet it.
Okay. Just keep at it.
I'll have it for Wednesday. And then we're going to fact check.
Okay. Yeah.
It's going to be great. Hopefully the majority of these are on.
Speaking of records, Hank, can you describe to me what this meme is real quick? No. What is it? Looks like Tony Soprano.
It's dark. Yeah, it's Tony Soprano on the right that says Rutgers.
And then Houston on the left. And that's Christopher.
And he's killing him after the car accident. I tweeted this out when Rutgers was winning.
But this is a scene from The Sopranos where he kills Christopher. Did you see mine from last night? I hope we lost hundreds of thousands of listeners.
Did you see mine from last night? It was Tony and Pauly Walnuts on a boat. I did see that.
Pussy Pupacero. That was before you guys ruined the fucking show for me.
On pussy because then. Not in the face.
If AWS want to help, they can tweet at me so I can bookmark it. Jake's still on his thing.
He's totally not listening. We're talking about The Sopranos, Jake.
I know know, you're talking about the wrong person. We're trying to ruin the Sopranos for people, Jake.
You remember when the guy with the ponytail, what's his name? Furio. Furio, you remember when Furio was thinking about pushing Tony into the plane for colors because he was trying to fuck Carmelo? Then they were in love, even though they never had sex, I don't think.
They shared some passionate scenes of dancing in Italy and whatever. They emotionally cheated.
Yes. She dreaming about fucking him she fantasized about she told tony that one time i've been fantasizing about furo but she was mad at tony because tony was being flagrant with his infidelity she wasn't mad that he was cheating she was just mad that he didn't respect her enough to keep it quiet also speaking of sopr of Sopranos, that one picture of me from Friday where I'm very large, barrel-chested.
I look like... Cameron Cullen.
No, I look like I could be in the mafia. It would be barrel-chested men are back.
Okay, it's power. All right, random number.
Wait. What? 28.
One more giant who's back of the week. Blake Griffin.
Oh, yeahed yes he dunked yeah but I feel like we should give it yes like our no we should no dude he can dunk we don't have to make a big deal of it it was his first he totally can dunk first dunk in 19 games I don't think we should like it is what it is you know it was also his first points I'm pretty sure that he was like, I'm not going to score until I dunk.

Yes.

It was awesome.

Yeah, it was great.

Yeah.

I think there was an earthquake.

My pick is eight.

99.

28.

18.

69.

61. 69.

61.

Damn.

We got a fun fact.

Jake, pull up an animal fact.

Stand by.

Stand by.

I love you guys. Stand by.
I love you guys.

Stand by.

I really love you guys.

Love all of you.

Every one of you guys.

Guys.

Parrots will selflessly help each other out.

Talking away. I'm talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'll say it anyway Today's a night Day to fight Shine away I'll be coming for your love Okay Shine away I'll be coming for your love again Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Take on me Take me on I'll become The D.O.T.
I'm out. Thank you.
Take me out. Dream! Oh, things that they say They're in a lot of bold Just to play my worries away You are the things I've got to remember You're shining away I'll be coming to you anyway We'll be right back.
Take me up, I'll be gone empty Take on me, take me up

I'll become

In a day

I'll become

In a day I'll become Interjected

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports