Jon Rothstein Bracket Breakdown, March Madness Is Here And Drew Brees Retires

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the one sports bar. On today's part of my take, John Rothstein.
The brackets are out. It is officially March.
I know it's been March, but this is truly March. We've made it a year in the making to have the NCAA tournament come back.
Actually, two years. Two years.
We're going to break down the brackets with him. We're going to talk about conference tournament weekend.
Awesome, awesome weekend of hoops, storylines, who's back in the week, and then we'll talk some football because Drew Brees did retire, so we will have a little Drew Brees discussion, Taysom Hill's contract, Mitch Trubisky's moving on, all these types of things. Pack show for you on Monday.
It's the best week of the sports year. It truly is.
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Let's go. On the street there is violence, and then a lot of stuff will be done.

No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't leave all on the sun.

Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's take presented by bar school sports welcome to pardon my take presented by coors light the only beer to chill with your march hoops go get a coors light check out those blue mountains tweet at us thank you to coors light Today is Monday, March 15th, and we have brackets.

This is March. tweeted at us.
Thank you to Coors Light. Today is Monday, March 15th.

And we have brackets. This is March.
We have brackets. I have a printed out bracket in front of me.
It's the only way to go. I have five.
You gotta go with a bracket you can hold. Ink on fingertips.
Fingernails. Yeah.
Paper in hand. Sorry to all the trees out there.
We know we got a lot of AWLs that are trees, but we are printing out our brackets. We're doing the highlighter.
We're going to be highlighter guys, although fuck highlighter guy. He's always kind of a little much.
He's got a folder, paper clips. A little much.
Here's the greatest part is having a bracket and then losing it and then looking for your bracket because you didn't fill it out on a computer. That's just part of the game.
And honestly, if I'm a tree and I'm doing a power ranking of things that I would want to be made into, a bracket is number one. Yes.
That's like the ultimate. That's achieving the highest form of life if you're a tree.
I love just staring at the bracket. Like, every time I look at it, I see, oh, oh, oh, okay.
Abilene Christian versus Texas. That will be interesting.
I just see new things every time. Oh, Tennessee, kind of struggling versus Oregon State, hot right now.
I just love looking at the bracket. I don't even have to fill it out.
I'm not a Revell. Don't ever be a Revell.
Don't be the guy who's proud that he's not filling out a bracket. Wait, Big Cat who? Oh, yeah, sorry.
You have a problem with Big Cat. Well, I can say it.
No, you have a problem. I can say it.
I can say his name. I don't have a problem.
He's been on the podcast. No one on the podcast.
All right. But I just like looking at my bracket.
I like to walk around with my bracket. It's like I'm like a little kid who like, you know, when a little kid has like one toy that they show everyone, like all I'm going to do tomorrow is like, hey, you want to see my bracket? Like, hey, oh.
How's your bracket? Yeah, bumping you in the street. Like, hey, check out my bracket real quick.
I like asking people how the bracket is before the games start because I do go through phases with my bracket where I love it on Monday, and then about Tuesday afternoon, I'll have absorbed all these different takes from everybody. I'll change two or three things.
I'm actually just thinking that my entire year last year, my entire March, would have been made better if somebody just printed out 64 colleges on a piece of paper.

I just got to carry it around just looking at the names of colleges.

Dude, didn't we ask that a million times for them to just make the bracket?

Just give us a bracket that we can then hypothetically fill out?

They wouldn't do it.

Yeah, they wouldn't do it.

But no, there's no because, Jake.

The bracket is so...

Trust me, I was as devastated as you were.

I was with a team.

America... No, that's true.
No, it's true. Jersey on Big Cat.
Damn, that was no because, Jake. The bracket.
Trust me, I was as devastated as you were. I was with a team.
America. No, that's true.
There's a jersey on Big Cat. That was awful.
Listen, America is built on this bracket that's in my hands. This is the most American thing ever.
It is a love affair with a bracket. That's what I have.
I am horny for this bracket. You know what? I bet you 10 years from now, we're going to have a devastating tree overpopulation problem because we didn't have brackets last year.
Look at me. I'm literally rubbing the bracket on my face.
If I could, I would sleep on these brackets tonight. I can't because I do need at least three pillows because I'm kind of a diva like that.
But I would sleep on this. They should make a mattress out of just brackets that're just stuffed into a piece of fabric.
Dude, you know what? I am going to put a bracket underneath my pillow tonight just to see if I can resorb some of the energy of this bracket. I like that.
And the NIT bracket's out, too. Duke didn't make that one either.
Duke pulled out. No? Okay, well, disambiguation time, Jake, because the NCAA did the first thing that I've ever agreed with the NCAA doing, maybe ever, and they made an announcement earlier today that despite the COVID protocols that were in place in various conference tournaments and different teams having to go home, Duke, UVA, Kansas, etc., all these teams were, in fact, eligible for the NCAA tournament.
So they made that announcement just so that they could say Duke did not make the NCAA tournament. Jake, can I ask you a quick question? Of course.
You had a great bracket show with your podcast, Dual Bench Mob. Appreciate it.
Do you feel like you betrayed your Big J degree by tricking your co-host, Marty Mush, into saying Duke made it to the tournament? Do you ever think Jim Nance would do that? Would Greg Gumbel do that? No. Oh, man.

You've said enough.

They don't work here. It may have not been the biggest Big J thing to do,

but people loved it. It was a medium

J. I could see Gumbel doing it.

Yeah, Gumbel could do it. Gumbel's a

whoopee cushion type of guy. Definitely not.

Pull my finger. Let's all remember, because

it is Jim Nance season, which officially kicks off

this week, that Jim Nance carries around a picture in his pocket of toast. So when he orders toast at a restaurant, he can show them exactly how he likes his toast cook.
Not too burnt, but not too unburnt. And he hands out the tie.
The tie. The tie to the senior on the championship team to be like, hey, not to make this about myself, but here's Jim Nance's tie.
I think it's a cool ritual. He should give out two this year.
One for last year?

Yeah, that would be nice. Two ties.

Either way. I also like how

it's also Bill Raftery season, when

people just make continuous

allusions to the fact that Bill Raftery

likes to really get at it and drink a shitload of

scotch during games. He'll just make

subtle references. It's like

him is to alcohol,

as Bill Walton is to hallucinogens. Man to man.
I love it. So yeah, this bracket, I actually don't want to get it out of my hands.
I want to hold it just to make sure it's real. We're going to talk to John Rothstein in a minute and break down the bracket.
Let's talk a little college. Let's talk about conference championship weekend.
It awesome uh biggest takeaways nato has pissed off i'm happy that alabama lsu now has a rivalry on the basketball court nato tells uh the entire lsu team to get the fuck off my court after an unbelievable sec championship game which might i add take note big 10 referees you don't have to review every single play. I noticed at the end of the game, I was having so much fun watching it, and like, oh, because there hasn't been a crazy stoppage, and they also were kind of letting them play.
There were some fouls that were missed, but let the boys play. Yeah, so this game kind of highlighted for me an old man take that I've been kind of brewing on for the last six, eight months, really this entire season.
I'll put it this way. Stephen A.
Smith, he put out a tweet last week. He said, I'm just stating facts in the interest of fairness.
I'm obligated to do that. So if you have a controversial take, just start it with that.
So I'm just stating facts in the interest of fairness, Big Cat. Coaches need to call actual plays at the ends of games.
They need to stop. They need to stop with the ISOo, and then the guy has the ball, dribbles it three times between his legs, and then shoots from 25 feet because Steph Curry ruined basketball.
Steph Curry and Dame Lillard have ruined basketball. That is the take that everyone is now spitting out there.
Steph Curry has ruined basketball because everyone thinks it can be Steph Curry. I agree.
I just always send the same tweet every time. When you have a last you have a last shot, go to the rim.
Yes. Because something can happen.
You can get fouled, someone cuts, just dribble and drive instead of just dribble, dribble, dribble, crossover, step back. Everyone wants to be Kemba Walker.
There's only one Kemba Walker. Mm-hmm.
Okay? That's the truth. And it's frustrating because like, I think LSU is one of those things, when you go to the basket, good things happen.
Of course. I think if you drive to the basket, there's a possibility of three good things happening and one bad thing happening.
If you shoot the long three, there's a possibility of one good thing happening and one bad thing happening. I'm not a math guy, but I like the ratio of taking it in the paint.
Yes, but the one good thing when you shoot the long three is super sweet. It is sick.
It's the sickest thing ever because then you can stand and then your whole

team has to run to you.

Yeah.

So you get that one moment where it's just you.

And you start walking away from the basket.

Right.

You mean mugging God.

Yeah.

So now that I'm thinking about it,

I actually am totally cool with the three.

Whatever.

It just sucks when you bet on a team and they do that for the lab.

That's actually the most frustrating.

It's like drive,

drive the ball.

Do something.

Yeah. Illinois did the same thing.
All right, so other takes. I alluded to this.
I actually told Jake that I was going to say this to him. I think the Big Jays need to be put on notice.
The love affair with Patrick Ewing was disgusting this weekend. He got hot against a really bad Marquette team, a Nova that basically is all injured seton hall that was underwhelming all year and a team whose coach just dropped the p-bomb in the locker room so now it was a great run for georgetown but they were 500 and last year they had a million transfers and off the court shit and p i think patrick ewing should be complimented for a great run at msg but this idea that like he's building something and this is the culminate like he had a good week they had a good four games yeah also uh is patrick ewing above security protocols how like the whole thing about yes this is the house that patrick yeah he actually is patrick i think i was totally fair but if born before, you know, like 1985.
Do you think that security at MSG was born before 1985? I guarantee they weren't. Some of them were.
No way. It's all old guys.
Seems like you don't respect the Big East, big cat. I got asked to show my ID at the fucking dog show.
I got kicked out of the dog show. I did not die for Patrick Ewing to be able to walk around with his badge tucked into his pocket like he owns that place.

They have tight security at MSG, so I stand with those guys that kicked me out.

I respect the Big East.

I just don't respect it when a mid-major makes the Big East finals.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Creighton would have been the first mid-major ever to win the Big East.

Right, so if they maybe played UConn, like if Georgetown played UConn.

I just think I'm happy that Georgetown's back in it. It was just crazy.
Like I saw people being like,

you know, I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like if Georgetown played UConn. I just think I'm happy that Georgetown's back in it.
It was just crazy. I saw people being like, you know, this is John Thompson's legacy through Patrick Ewing, and they've learned Georgetown is back.
No, they were a mediocre team, and last year they were very underwhelming and had a bunch of shit happen. We'll see if he can build off of it.
You said that he has Dikembe Mutombo's kid coming in. Yeah, Ryan Mutombo's coming in.
So there you go. But there's only a limit to friends, kids, that you can bring into the program.
The other one I had was... Wait, wait, wait.
Georgetown, I like them being in the tournament. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, because of the colors. I like the colors in there.
I like the potential for a hard foul. I like seeing the name Georgetown, and more than anything, as many schools that we can get in there that have Bulldog mascots, I'm always going to be in favor of.
Like a live Bulldog. My point is more that the way that Patrick Ewing was talked about was that they won the Big East tournament, and this was like Georgetown has arrived back on the scene, and holy shit, look what Patrick Ewing has done.

When in reality, I feel like that probably just saved Patrick Ewing's job

for another year or two.

He can look back and be like, yeah, remember when I won the Big East tournament?

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I'm going to bet against Georgetown in the first round.

Absolutely, but I'm glad that they're there.

So the other take was Rick Pitino back in the tournament,

gets in the tournament with Iona.

Rick Pitino's a Hall of Fame coach. Rick Pitino's a fantastic coach.
I don't make those jokes anymore. Can we at least just recognize the fact that Iona, this is their fifth straight trip to the tournament? Tim Kloos, who was there for a decade, who had to retire because of health issues, was a monster in that conference.
Iona owns that conference. So yes, Rick Pitino deserves some credit, but he also took the best team in that conference to where they've been the last four years.
They also had a lot of coaches. Didn't they miss like six weeks? Yeah, that's how they ended up being a nine seed.
They had to be the first nine seed ever to be favored in every single one of the teams. 52 days off, I believe it was.
I'm still going to continue to make the Rick Pitino jokes. I did not sign up for your anti-Pitino joke crusade.
Yeah, because you want to get me killed. Well, yeah.
It wouldn't be worse than for the podcast downloads. This isn't an anti- The show after you died would be, I mean, it'd be through the roof.
And then it'd be Billy. Yeah.
And it'd just be like, what the fuck? Everyone would tune out. It's more of a, hey, Tim Kloos built something awesome there, and Rick Pitino inherited it.
And good for Rick Pitino. He's probably using it as a stepping stone.
But the way he was talked about was like, dude, this is their fifth straight tournament. It's crazy.
They're a monster in this conference. Also in that bracket, Michigan State-UCLA.
I love that that's a playing game. Absolutely love it.
I think I am going to bet on Michigan State this year. I think something about Izzo.
January, February, Izzo, April, we sleep in May. You hate them, but you don't bet on them.
Yeah, I'm going to bet on them this year. I think that a motivated Izzo.
There's no expectations on Michigan State this year except maybe to win that first game. So I think I'm going to bet.
All right. Other conference championship talk.
Oh, Danny Hurley. That was unreal that he basically called his star player a pussy for having cramps.
That was unreal. That's just hard-nosed coaching.
That's a compliment coming from Danny Hurley. He said that he was being a diva because he was cramping.
I do like UConn against Maryland. It was tough that UConn lost that game because that's a team.
UConn is a team that I do think they're kind of building something. What else? What other conferences? Jawan Howard.
Jawan Howard. So Mark Turgeon didn't say what he said that people said he said, but he should have just taken credit for it

because allegedly he told Juwan Howard,

don't bother putting the banner up because you take him down anyway.

And that's an awesome line.

So he didn't say that.

He didn't say it.

I'm going to choose to believe that he said it.

He did not say it.

It also had been brewing because Hunter Dickinson, who is an AWL, who we will back him. Leap out, right? What? Oh, until he comes on the show? No, we're saying his name.
I said that we weren't going to say his name until they won another game. Oh, okay.
So he has been staring down Turgeon. I don't even know if I'm saying his name right.
I don't really like him. I think he's a receiving coach.
Am I saying his name right? Turgeon, yeah. Yeah.
He stared him down the first two games. So there's bad blood.
That was awesome. Turgeon is an all-time dad mispronounced name.
Dads across America either call him Turgeron or they call him Sturgeon, which is actually the name of a fish. Yep.
But it's Turgeon. Yeah, this Mark Turgeron guy.
I also like Michigan players wearing black shoes. There's something about seeing them.
I just always think back to the Fab Five. By the way, short shorts officially totally back.
Oh, they've been back for a while. All the way back.
They've been back for a while. 100% back.
Yeah. And, yeah, seeing Juwan Howard, I just like when coaches look like they're going to fight each other.
No matter what sport it is, it makes it pop. That was great.
Any other big – well, we had some upsets. Well, Louisville gets left out, which I was fine with.
We should talk about – The Georgia Tech run is impressive. Georgia Tech.
Yeah, they got a game canceled. Right, but they're the hottest team in the ACC.
They are, and I love Josh Pastor. He's awesome.
He's a hilarious – He's shouting out the broadcasters. Yeah, he's a hilarious dude.
He's the face shield. COVID piñata.
COVID piñata, which is one of the more more awkward videos you ever seen where he gave candy to his team a bunch of adults or you know I mean I guess they're still kids but I pray that Pastner keeps the face shield forever like Rip Hamilton remember when Rip Hamilton broke his nose and then it was totally healed yeah but he liked to feel the mask if Josh Pastner knew what was good for him because he won the ACC title, he would be wearing that thing in 10 years from now and be like, dude, what are you doing? He's like, nope, good luck charm. I like the way it feels.
Yeah, like Hugh Freeze constantly just coaching from a bed somewhere. Yeah, I like that.
I think Ayo actually pulls off the face mask too. Oh yeah.
He might just continue to wear that. It looks sick on him.
He looks like Batman. He absolutely looks like a superhero.

One other thing about Passner, he

is a classic

case of a guy who's put on

15 to 20 pounds and hasn't realized it yet.

The shirts he wears,

he just hasn't fully

come to grips with the fact that

he's getting... It might have been even

muscle. It's not even fat, but

he's put on a little weight and he can't...

He needs to size up. He needs to size up a little bit.

We should probably address it. If you guys are wondering, wow, it's been a long time since Hank's weighed in on this podcast.
He just went to take a shit. Hank left because he said he just texted the group after he left from the toilet.
This is breaking news from Hank. My stomach is a bloodbath.
I'm sorry. Chinese food.
Hank is currently just destroying the toilet right now. The Chinese food is really good.
Yeah, it was. Hank's cutting down the nets in the bathroom.
So whenever he gets back, let's do the office. The minute he walks back in, I'm like, all right, we're ready to keep going? And he'll be like, what are you doing? You guys just stopped doing the podcast? Yeah.
All right. So when he does that, we'll do that and get his reaction uh we talked a little bit about luca before we started taping but we should probably run through our takes on luca again because he is he's just like out of shape i think i hate him he looks like he's running with cinder blocks on his feet i've already look i hate him but i also understand that it's hypocritical of me to hate just a big, goofy white guy who's good in the Big Ten because the team I root for is just made up of those.
But, yes, I do not like him. He doesn't get back on defense, going fundamentals on everyone's ass.
And whenever he has to play a guy who's stronger than him, he struggles. He looked like a child against Coburn.
Coburn just straight up – Just saying. And he's a big dude, and Coburn just got the ball, put his ass into him and Luka was just like, I can't do anything.
He just quit. He gave up.
I know Iowa beat Wisconsin. Wisconsin is not going to beat UNC.
It's the lowest I've ever felt about a Badger team going into the tournament. I can't even be hurt.
The only way I can be hurt is if they... Are we ready to keep going? Yeah right hank all right should we clap back in yeah three two one okay so where were we were talking about what were we talking about right before you left i don't know we stopped players don't players don't drive to the hole anymore thank you yeah yeah they don't yeah players don't drive so you have a take on players don't drive? Did you just give him a sympathy comment about diarrhea? I was asking if he was okay.
But you're like, I know that feeling. It stinks.
Yeah, we all have had diarrhea. I know, but like...
What do you want me... I mean, like, you're like...
You're good. Yeah, well, it seems like you're diarrhea shaming me.
I'm not. You are.
I had diarrhea on an exercise bike last week. Everyone has diarrhea.
Yeah. I have diarrhea, like, half the time.
Chaps has had it for seven years. I didn't know if I was ever going to smile again for a minute in there.
Yeah, this is your Lamar Jackson podcast. Oh, man.
I should have brought the camera. Yeah, Hank just sprinting in the bathroom.
I don't know if Liam was cutting me before, and I was struggling. I was hoping it was going to be farts, and then I just realized.
You were going to fart in the studio while we're all in here? Well, I knew if I left, I would be fucking shamed. Did you? No, you weren't shamed.
Sounds like I was. Was there any poop? I walked in, and Billy goes, oh, oh.
Well, we were trying to do the thing where you come back, and we do the office, like, all right, you ready to pick back up? We obviously kept on going, but Billy kind of ruined it because he was like, oh, he's here. Billy's like a T-Rex where if something moves around him, his eyes go to it.
He's predator. You've got to cover yourself in diarrhea before it's the only way Billy can't see you.
Did you poop your pants at all or was it just you made it all into the toilet? No, I made it in there. It was just, you know.
Sometimes you wonder if you have demons inside of your stomach and And, like, you start sweating and you wonder, like, am I ever going to smile again? Is this what my life is going to be like for the rest of time? Like, I'm just going to, this is how I'm going to die. How long has this been going on, Hank? About, you know, it happened.
It was a 10-minute thing. I literally had this on Friday.
The Chinese food, you know, it digested. It dinsed it well.
And it came out. I'm probably going to have to go again during the Ross Dean interview.
No, you're good. You're good.
I was back in Chicago. Illinois has launched.
We're going to be in Chicago this weekend, coming weekend. But I went to Bird's Nest, my favorite wing place.
You guys have all been there. And same thing happened to me.
You know, I just, like a dog eating chocolate. I had like 40 wings.
Couldn't help myself. Wing diarrhea is just, it's a natural.

Couldn't stop myself from eating as many wings

as possible. Alright, if I eat chicken wings

I'm at the point in life where I need to

schedule being around a toilet for the next four hours.

Honestly, I should just start eating chicken wings

on the toilet. In the stall.
It would make it a lot easier.

That's a great idea for a restaurant is

just bathroom stalls and then

they come to your bathroom and they're like, hey, here you go.

Here you go. Here's this chili.
Have some fun. Here's a burrito.
Eat up. Right through.
Cut out the middle, man. All right, other bracket.
I mean, we're going to get to Ross team with all the bracket stuff. What other conference championship stuff? You guys really still are doing this.
No, yeah. Well, we were talking conference championship and weekend.
Jake, any other big thoughts? You are a college basketball expert.

I think we hit the majority of it, obviously.

Yeah, we talked about it.

The Kansas, Virginia, Duke all backing out.

Whoa!

Say that differently.

What?

Say that differently.

They got COVID.

They didn't back out.

Except Duke.

Duke 100% backed out.

They had to stop playing in their conference tournament.

Kansas and Virginia had an unfortunate outbreak that they had

to stop playing. Duke

backed out like cowards.

Duke faked it.

The other guys were praying for their health.

So that'll be something to monitor.

I'm currently monitoring

the situation in Durham right now.

Tuesday 6pm Eastern is the

deadline for the fill-in teams, the

replacement teams, and after that it becomes forfeits.

Which would not be ideal. But so what happens

because a lot of these teams have played in tournaments

Thank you. Bunch of fakers.
6 p.m. Eastern is the deadline for the fill-in teams, the replacement teams, and after that it becomes forfeits, which would not be ideal.
But so what happens, because a lot of these teams have played in tournaments, shared facilities with teams that had COVID, what happens if more than four teams have to back out? I'm sure they have contingencies. Because in the NIT bracket, I noticed that there is a severe lack of Duke in that bracket just in case they get the call.
Fifth man up? Fifth man up. Yeah, so what are the four teams that are waiting? Louisville, St.
Louis, Colorado State, and Ole Miss. But isn't there a rule that it's in your conference first? So if, like, LSU got COVID, Louisville wouldn't take that spot.
Ole Miss would. I think that's just if it's a conference champion that got an automatic qualification so if Georgetown I think if they miss out on it then maybe the next team up does or it might be a big East team it might be a mid-major then so I see it's the first four teams out who will be on standby to replace any team from a multi-bid conference that is forced to withdraw yeah so if it's just one bid then the team then the team that came in second, I guess.
No. No, I don't know.
No, I think that what they're saying is if it's one bid league, then they just get eliminated. Oh.
It would be my guess, right? Yeah, I'm not positive. These rules change so often.
I don't want to say something and be wrong. Also, Gonzaga has the easiest path ever.
So they've played the 2-3-4. They beat the 2-3-4 in their own region.
They're going to dominate. They're probably going to win the national title.
All the jokes that I've been making, I knew when I was making them too. I was like, Gonzaga's really fucking good this year, so this is probably going to blow up in my face.
But I still made them because, like we've said, for the last four years, people still don't understand it, newcomers, just because something changes, Gonzaga going to the Final Four, going to the national title game, doesn't mean a great storyline has to change. Peyton Manning still can't win a Super Bowl.
Right. One of the best storylines ever was, will Mark Few finally get to the Final Four? Well, he did, but we didn't quit on the storyline because it's so much fun.
Sergio Garcia will never win a major. Ever.
Ever. So, that is where we're going to stand forever.
Gonzaga has not made a Final Four in our minds. If they make one this year, I'll give them credit.
It's a Mickey Mouse title. They made the title game in 2017.
I know that, Jake. I just referenced that.
I know. No, it did no it did not did you not absorb anything that we just said it the storyline doesn't need to die just because the facts change okay that's how you do journalism okay facts throw that would be our if we didn't give a journalism class we'd just be like a big book on day one that just says facts and we throw it through a window yeah you yelled at me for saying someone's free throw percentage on the stream the other day.
Yeah, because I needed a make and it missed. Everything you believe that you say on the air, you have to believe that forever.
That's how it works. You need to write me the cheat sheet for this weekend.
Yeah, so I'm going to write Jake a gambling cheat sheet. I can't remember what game it was, but I basically needed very badly for a guy to hit a free throw.
And Jake was like. It was the over of the Mac game.
Yeah, he was like, here comes the line, an 83% shooter, clanked it. And I was like, don't, don't.
And he's like, but I just said a fact. But it's not a fact in that context.
Yeah. No, when Joe Buck says, oh, he never misses, that's a jinx.
We're not talking about the fucking primetime game. It's heavily implied when you say 83% that he's going to make it.
And you have to understand, gamblers are the biggest bitches in the world. Any little thing will set me off.
I understand. I even told you.
I pulled your side after. I was like, Jake, you are actually correct.
Yeah. But in this case, you're wrong, which makes no sense.
Right? Sure. I did say that.
No, you did. Yeah, I was like, you're right.
You're 100% right. but in this case you're wrong which makes no sense I did say that you're right, you're 100% right but in this case you're wrong facts out the window see you later so I'll take a big it'll almost be like an old school huge bible and it'll say facts on it you see this kids kids throw it out the window and then pft will pull down one of those old maps and it will just say gonzaga's never made a final four it'll just be a picture of a guy it'll be from an anatomy class and an arrow pointing out your gut this is where the real facts are located except for hank because he's shitting them all out yes i don't die a real shame.
I want that on the record. Good to know.
If I did, I'd be a masochist. I'd hate myself.
I'd be a self-loathing person if I diarrhea shamed. Billy, you feel like you want to say something.
I have a drunk idea. Speaking of diarrhea, Billy wants to talk.
That was good. Come on.
I have a drunk idea. Okay.
Give us to Billy. Why don't we take Duke, UVA, and Kansas and make them play? Because they all have COVID.
In a tournament. Because they all have it anyway.
What, a COVID tournament? Yeah, a COVID tournament. The kids probably want to play.
But Duke didn't make the tournament. Yeah, Duke didn't make it.
UVA is playing. UVA and UVA are in the March Madness tournament.
Okay, we'll make a new tournament. We're going to make a new tournament and it's going to be called the NCAA tournament.
We're going to have Duke out of it, but Kansas and UVA in it. Or we should just make our own tournament.
We'll invite Duke. I don't want...
The COVID invitation. I'm kind of in on this.
Yeah, because whoever wants to play... Yeah, Billy, I'm kind of in on this.
And they like... What about the teams that are in the real tournament? Instead of handshake line, they have to French.
No. So you have a good idea and I have a bad idea? It's like a COVID invitational.
It's like they want to play. It's the part in my tournament.
And there's only one team that's invited and it's Duke. And it's going to be intercepted.
I thought Kansas had to leave the tournament. We'll see if they accept our bid or if they reject it like cowards.

Keep the postseason streak alive, Coach K. How about we have the COVID tournament.

It's just Duke versus the Lakers in a seven-game series.

And if Duke loses, Coach K has to retire.

And also we do that shame thing in Game of Thrones with him naked naked in the streets did you see the tweet that that was that's uh yeah that was crazy that's crazy what one of the the shamer the head shamer yeah is the owner uh of the of the richmond afc no way yeah same girl the lady yeah wow she's a woman she's an adult woman yeah girl she's a woman she's friends with the sun same woman yeah it's a girly girl actually yeah that does make sense to me now that i think about it it is the exact same woman i knew that internally not a good fact i thought it was a good fact i was shocked when i saw it if If Duke wins, then Coach K has to leave to go coach the Lakers finally.

Yes.

After 25 years of speculation.

And if he loses, the shame thing I talked about.

All right, let's do our Who's Back of the Week.

Then we have John Rossi, who will actually maybe give us some real bracket knowledge,

not whatever we just talked about.

That was Hank's diarrhea with a side of bracket knowledge.

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Who's back of the week?

Hank.

My stomach problems are back, so I'm going to make this quick,

but J-Rod is back.

Quick scare on Friday.

They said there was a rumor that they were breaking up their engagement,

not getting married, breaking up,

and then on Saturday or Sunday, they released the same incident,

but we're still working through it.

So they're back on.

The way they broke up for a day.

Yeah, to say it was an emotional weekend for me, it was essentially like if you could imagine going to the doctor and the doctor comes out and he's like, hey, I'm reading your chart here. Sorry, you have a brain tumor.
And you're like, what? And then a day later he calls you. He's like, actually, it's just an ankle sprain.
Yeah. That's what I went through.
That's exactly the same. They're going to, they're going to continue to get back together and call it off.
Because I think a rod realized that once you get the engagement photo, that's really the height of any relationship in 2021. Yeah.
When you post the Instagram of the ring, the proposal on the beach, it's all downhill after that, downhill after that unless you have a baby in which case yeah i guess you could make the case that like the birth might get a few more likes but i feel like a rod's gonna maybe uh they're gonna take the ring back and then he'll re-propose again that works in a couple months time i just want to go to the bachelor party hank is gone again hank's i know he had a ton of whose backs because he said, I have a lot of whose backs. All right? This is literally the Lamar Jackson.
This is March. We need to make a video of Hank.
Can we do that afterwards? We'll make a video of Hank going to the bathroom, maybe make it like CCTV, like black and white. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, we'll have the security footage. Billy, you're Trace McSorley.
You get in the game. Fuck it all up real quick.
You go first. Jose Canseco was also back.
He jumped in. Oh, fuck that guy.
He jumped in. He's been waiting for this.
Yeah, and he was like, I can tell the future. And honestly, I really want to have a conversation with that guy.
Yeah. He's kind of out there.
Yeah. Anyway.
He should fight him. Cam Newton is also back.
I don't think Billy could beat him up. No, probably not's big Cam Newton is also back He re-signed with the Patriots Wait we gotta Wait wait He's texting you? I texted him Wait call him Just call him Call him and see what he says Who's back of the week From Hank on the toilet Hey Hank's Backs.
Hey, we have to do John Rothstein. Oh, he's on right now? Well, it's 10 o'clock.
Oh, okay. Well, yeah, we'll finish the Who's Backs.
But tell us, we can't finish until you tell us who your Who's Backs are. Cam Newton is back.
He's on the Patriots. I feel not great about it.
Kind of like my stomach right now. Okay.
I'm not happy. I'm not sad.
Who else? That was it. You're not happy and you're not sad.
It sounds like you're sad about it. Rick Pitino.
Oh, my God. Did you hear that? All right.
We'll finish Who's Back and we'll get Ross Dean. All right, PFT, Who's Who's My Who's Back of the Week is accountability because you guys, I'm sure, all saw the Norman High School women's basketball game when he announced her that dropped some hard end bombs, said probably the most racist things that you could probably say on a live broadcast of a women's high school basketball game.
And credit to him, he came back and took full responsibility for it uh apologizing tossing in the fact that at one point he thought about becoming a youth pastor so let's take that into account he's got a family when weighing it against the fact that he was dropping in bombs and also i will state that i suffer type 1 diabetes and during the game my sugar was spiking while not excusing my remarks it's not unusual when my sugar spikes that i become disoriented and often say things that are not appropriate as well as hurtful i do not believe that i would have made such horrible statements absent my sugar spiking so there's just one way to solve this and that's papa john needs to become his sponsor in his uh racism's anonymous uh 12-step program i I was going to say, I wonder if Myers Leonard just went right to his computer and was like, do I have diabetes? Yeah, yeah. Look that up.
He put out the statement. I'm not going to take the statement seriously until the guy posts a picture of himself wearing Pit Viper sunglasses.
Also, stay woke. Papa John definitely just has a bunch of NFTs that he's about to sell of him saying the N-word, and he publicly announced that he quit saying the N-word to make those more rare.
Yes. That would be awesome.
You'll get one, right, Billy? What? No. All right.
All right. My who's back is Pi Day.
Happy Pi Day, guys. 3.143-78246.
No. 3.1415926535897.
Yeah, you ran into a bus. That's all I know.
It's like 15 digits. I'm addicted.
You didn't think that Jake would know the first 12 digits of Pi? Once a year, I'm addicted to fake doing Pi and having everyone be like, I don't know. But now I forgot I have a fucking nerd in here.
One of my hottest takes, well, just facts in the interest of fairness, Pi is better than cake. Yeah, except ice cream cake.
Ice cream cake's good. Ice cream cake's the best.
But ice cream cake has many pie-like qualities to it. Yeah.
No, I don't think that's that hot of a take. Okay.
I actually don't think it's hot at all, because I'm thinking about it. Like, apple pie.
Blueberry pie. Peach pie.
Those are all better. Cheesecake is even a pie.
Yeah. Yeah.
If you take out ice cream cake, I think think that that's easily that's almost a blowout and saying birthday pie sounds just way happier than saying birthday cake birthday cake's better when it's like an ice cream flavor, the flavor of something else yeah it's better when it's like a donut birthday cake yes when it's something else that's flavored as birthday cake. Right, right.
Jake, do you have a who's back? Yeah, it's the trifecta of Samuel L. Jackson, Charles Barkley, and Spike Lee.
Those Capital One commercials that air literally every single commercial break during the tournament. They started with the Big Ten tournament on CBS.
Just get ready for that. It is the Paul Missed the Net commercial of NCAA basketball.
Also, I can't believe I forgot about these guys. The Impractical Jokers are back.
Yeah, true TV. True TV.
That's always the best. Like it's a fever dream at like 2 o'clock in the morning when you forget to turn your TV off.
You wake up and there's fucking merd. He'll be like tweeting it like, oh, this had a great ratings boost.
Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy. Did you see...
What? Hank's back.

Did you see what he said?

Some guy...

He who should not be named.

Okay.

Now we're just...

No, some guy tweeted a picture of just going through all my dad's old stuff,

all his old baseball cards, his father had passed and he inherited all of it.

And under it, Darren Revelle just replies,

It's all junk. Don't bother going through any of it.
Wow. Damn.
What the fuck? That's harsh. That's very harsh.
That's the guy's, he just inherited it. Jake, I thought you were going to say our diet is back for the next four days.
I was saving that for my Fyre Fest for Friday, but we ate like crap this weekend. Jake, we were eating pizza on Friday and he just like saddled up next to me.
He's like, salad's Monday, dude. I was like, come on, man.
Are we doing salad Monday again? I've just had it every day for a while. He was like, oof, I've been eating.
And I'm sitting there like, dude, I still haven't had my ice cream tonight. I was big back in the day.
I can't let it get to that again. I'm going to opt out of salad Monday.
It just did bad stuff to my body last night. I'm in on salad Monday, not salad Tuesday.
I'll bring it in for you. I got you.
I'm going Soup Monday. All right.
Liquid salad. Let's get to John Rossi.
And before we do that, PFT, you had a word from our friends at BetterHelp. BetterHelp, yeah.
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Go to BetterHelp.com slash PMT. B-E-T-T-t-e-r-h-e-l-p.com slash p-m-t and now john rostine mr rostine how we doing are you in indy i'm in the bubble bro oh nice what's up john what's up fellas that was jake jake wanted to say hi that was the future talking to you oh what's up j John? What's up, fellas? That was Jake.
Jake wanted to say hi.

That was the future talking to you. Oh, what's up, Jake? Future.

Did you want to say hi to Billy?

What's up, Billy?

There we go. Nice.

Oh, you don't have headphones on, Billy.

I'm just going to run to the bathroom before we start.

Wait, are you joking?

No. Do you want me to hold it?

No, it's just we're going through something.

Hank has had to go diarrhea twice during the show.

No, no.

This is just number one.

Oh, okay.

All right.

It's a bathroom show.

It is, yeah.

Are we recording?

Piss dogs.

So perfect.

Keep it in there.

Oh, man.

Do you got to go to the bathroom?

The gang gets diarrhea?

This is March.

Dude, my stomach is a fucking steel trap.

All the talk about diarrhea kind of makes me think I might have to do it myself.

I think it's just placebo effect.

My stomach is like a fucking garbage dump.

So it's used to this.

When Hank has diarrhea, everybody gets it?

Do you think Ross is going to get awkward when I tell him it was a good stream?

Yeah.

Okay, we'll give it a shot.

We're recording this.

Yeah, we might as well.

No, I can't hear it.

Hey, everyone.

Everyone.

Are you flushed? I didn't hear a hand wash. Did.
Did your hand wash? All right, we're back. Pillow.
Did you just wipe your hands with a pillow? No, I just bring a pillow in case we need a prop. Okay.
That was a solid stream, dude. You sound healthy.
Thanks, bro. Thanks, bro.
Did you wash your hands? Wash my hands. It was like Tom Hanks.
Cat, it was like Tom Hanks in the league of their own that's kind of a beta move though to wash your hands after you pee especially when you're in the bubble you can't go anywhere obviously I don't want to peak too soon but I will save it for Eric we're going to run all this 3, 2, 1, here we go. We're going to run all this.
All right, 3, 2, 1, here we go.

It is time.

Our good, good friend, John Rostein. One year

ago, probably today or

tomorrow, you were in this studio,

the cancellation of the NCAA

tournament. You said to us,

this is only temporary.

And boy, was that true because

now we're sitting here, John,

with a bracket. We're holding a bracket.
We feel feel the bracket it's the best time of the year i'm so excited to see you where do you want to start this is your show guys i just want to say it's just great to be here with you on a tradition unlike any other our selection sunday breakdown where we get set to obviously embark on an ncaa tournament unlike anything've ever seen before, you know, I've been here in the Indianapolis controlled environment, AKA the bubble since Friday, the protocols are intense. Obviously everything is isolated, you know, and I'm really just curious to take in this experience here over the next couple of weeks, which again is going to be unlike anything I've ever been a part of.
Do we have any new John Rothstein-isms that we're going to be debuting this year that people want to know? Because as you said, it's a year unlike any other. So I feel like there might be a couple lines that you need to drop just to kind of let us know just how special this year is going to be.
Yeah, I've added a few this year, which you guys know. I feel a little bit guilty about the one-liner and tagline that I kind of created for oklahoma because ever since i started dropping lon corleone after oklahoma won games like they went on this abysmal losing streak so like i kind of feel like if i ever went to norman i'd be viewed as like barzini yeah yeah because like breaks my heart it was you like because i was watching obviously their game against alabama they're shorthanded they don't have obviously a couple a couple of starters.
No Brady Manick, no Alondas Williams. And then all of a sudden, they really start going on a downward trajectory.
So I feel like there was the jinx of Lon Corleone. Yeah.
What about the jinx of Greg Gard, the silent assassin? I think there's other things that go into that jinx, but I will say that I am interested to see the age

and the experience of Wisconsin against North Carolina.

No, John.

No, John.

They're not a good team this year.

Sometimes you have to just, as a fan,

you've got to admit when you don't have a good team.

I'm not excited for that game.

Have you broken down?

Wait, give us a couple more Rossianisms that you've created this year. I mean, there's so many.
I mean, we have Illinois basketball, here comes the pain. Now, you'll appreciate this.
That originated because there's a couple of days like around the holidays where there's not as many games and you might have an opportunity to be in a situation where you can watch a movie or you can just feel like a regular civilian for a couple hours. So, you know a big fan of like the pacino movies so one of the more underrated pacino movies was always carlito's way i always thought carlito brigante was just a very very underrated you know pacino character you know he's obviously i'm not the biggest david kleinfeld fan although he p.m.
he could like like sean penn in that movie kind of resembles like p.m.'ve seen so far. So, you know, in that movie, if you remember early on, like there's a couple of guys trying to whack out, you know, Al Pacino.
And, you know, he obviously, you know, goes and he fights them off or whatever in that like, you know, pool hall. But he screams, here comes the pain.
So I was watching Illinois early in the season and they were just eviscerating their opponents. And I was like know just thinking I was like there's so much pain in champagne when this you know when this team plays I was like wait a minute there might be something there yeah because then all of a sudden I was like well what if you know we can make it you know different where it's p-a-i-g-n and it was just gold and then also another thing too and then it obviously coincided with Alabama's renaissance is like you know one of the big things in my cousin Vinny was obviously the fact that you had guys from New York going to Alabama in the movie one of them was Ralph Macchio the other was Joe Pesci and like Nate Oates wasn't from New York but he's from Buffalo but you know Alabama fans are extremely passionate for basketball so I dropped my cousin Vinny and you know the rest is history.
If it's shorter on Twitter, it's better. Yeah, I mean, Utah, you could do the two Utes.
That would be good, too. Or if you like Pacino, you could do a Serpico one, but for Purdue, where it's like Purdue.
It's like Serpico because you watch it for three hours and absolutely nothing happens. Well, interesting, but I also think that we have to leave Purdue alone because they have death taxes Matt Painter, which obviously was the handoff from the Bo Ryan one.
What about Ferdinand Oates when he, like today, he sowed his wild oats right in LSU's face? It's interesting. What a dramatic finish in that game.
You changed the subject very quickly there. Yeah, exactly.
By the way, I haven't seen a Reebok sweatshirt since like Allen Iverson signed like the deal in 19-19. Yeah, the answer.
It stands out. It's good.
Yeah, the answer. Yeah.
So what about that opening round matchup, the first four, the Michigan State and their playing against UCLA? Those are two guys that you love to drop your little rostings about. So are you going to do – who are you rooting for? Are you rooting to tweet out January, February is so, or are you rooting to tweet out? Was it Mick Cronin as consistent as a few good men on a rainy Sunday? On a rainy Sunday.
Yeah. I don't root cause I know either way out of this game, I'm going to be able to get a one liner on Twitter.
So it's like, you know, either way, you know, you're, you're moving the chains, so to speak. You know what I'm saying? You need to create a one-liner for the bubble.
Just a one-liner for the bubble? Yeah, something that is like the bubble, you know? Yeah, I mean, like, I'll give you an example. Like, so many thoughts were going through my head when I got this assignment, but my mind went to one place when I found out that this was going to be a possibility.
You remember the opening scene of Rambo 2? When,bo's in prison and Colonel Troutman goes and is like, John, a computer dug up, your name is one of three most likely to complete the mission. Because I was like, this isn't an assignment.
It's a mission. It's 24, 25 days in an enclosed environment.
There's three places I can be, guys. I can be in this hotel room i can be in the

convention center where you know teams are going to practice and i'm going to have my own setup where i can do hits from for cbs and turner or i can be at a game site and that's it for 24 days there's no haircuts there's no going to pick up food there's no going to the gym there's no going for runs it's pretty much just straight college basketball and on thursday when we kick it off 67 games in 18 days.

Hold on.

What you just described, like, this isn't a mission for you. This is heaven.
Yeah. I'm really enjoying it so far.
No, but this is, you have eliminated the entire world except for college basketball. If John Rostein could make his own heaven, it would be the bubble in Indianapolis.
And believe believe it or not and you'll appreciate this i went down you know got some covid testing early because i'm going into quarantine right now because obviously it gets situated there's tight protocols bo boroski's in my hotel fuck him john you should have kicked him in the nuts yeah so get this so bo boroski's in my hotel like i'm waiting for a covid test and there's booroski. But here's the interesting thing, Kat, and you'll appreciate this.
Years ago, okay, I was asked to emcee one of my best friend's weddings in Newport. Nice wedding.
Labor Day wedding. Like, you know, it was a cool deal.
All of a sudden, I'm like getting ready to do the intros. And like I'm going full throttle on the intros.
Like it's kind of – I'm kind of like throwing this out or whatever where it's like the 1998 chicago bull yeah i can imagine yeah did you have you like listed their height and weight as they walked out on the dance floor exactly but cat and pf day here's the best thing before i got into the intros i like did a little michael buffer i was like newport rhode island are you ready and i was like newport rhode island ready? And then instead of saying, let's get rid of the rumble, I dropped the Heath Ledger line. And I said, in the words of the late Heath Ledger, as the Joker circa 1998 in the Dark Knight, and here we go.
So I do that, and I get obviously everything going. But then there's Bo Borowski at a wedding.
And he's like, and he knew, and he was obviously friends with the bride, and we started talking. And then like earlier tonight, I'm getting ready to do a hit for CBS.
And who do I see? It's Bo Boroski. And I like one, I was thinking like, do I make a topic about the stoppage in play during the Wisconsin-Iowa game? Yes.
Going to the monitor. I mean, seriously, like there was like a scene right there in that game where like you had a great Big Ten game.
And honestly, it was ruined like the people who decided to make the godfather part three yes there it is i that's a great bo boroski story and i would love to see you emcee a wedding yeah no i mean you know i look forward to more emcee opportunities if i can but seriously bye since we're on the topic like in when it comes down to like the godfather series i'm like kind of like convincing myself that like it stops with one and two. First of all, you think about this.
They never really explain the incestual relationship in Godfather three, like between Andy Garcia and Michael Corleone's daughter. That's one thing.
And then the second thing is like, you know, why in an essence, if you're going to whack somebody out, do you have to kill them with a poison cannoli? Because it's cool. Honestly, because you remember it, right? Yeah, I mean, for sure, but I just thought it could have been a little bit different.
I realized that I did say, John, this is your show. Take it wherever you want.
And I probably shouldn't have done that. You just gave me, yeah, carte blanche.
Let's talk about 1980s cinema, which I'm actually here for. And let's get back to what Big Cat brought up a second ago.
Wait, but before we get to the bracket. No, no, no, this is not bracket stuff.
No, no. I want to know, John, I want to know what you would be doing differently if you weren't in the bubble.
Because as Big Cat says, it sounds like you're having. Isn't this what you do every March? Yeah, it's just a little bit different, guys, because the proximity to everything is closer.
Like, you know, like I'd be going to the studio in New York, and now I'm just like walking down the block. Like everything is just so close and obviously tight.
So it's more convenient. Yeah, no, this is – they created this bubble for you.
It's the John Rothstein bubble. It is – there is nothing you can do but consume college basketball.
That's it. Nonstop, 24-7.
And I'm so pumped for it because I think we have pound for pound, inch for inch, the greatest first four game in the history of the first four. UCLA, Michigan State, maybe the more underrated utility players in the country in Jaime Hacquez.
Remember this, guys. When Jaime Hacquez plays for UCLA, there's no such thing as a 50-50 ball because it's 90-10.
I will remember that. I like that.
All right, so let's talk the bracket. Have you broken it down region by region? You always do.
You name them, right? Yeah. All right, so let's do it.
Let's do it. You lead us.
We'll throw in our thoughts. You lead us through the bracket.
Okay, I'm going to pull it up right here because obviously we're doing this over Zoom, so I just want to make sure that you know i get everything uh on point what are you talking about john you're sitting right next to us right now oh yeah exactly um get him in trouble with the nfla sure cat but i'll say this you know because we have so much uh so much so many steak places here in Indianapolis. Yep.
It's kind in the sense that I can't go to any of them because of the protocols. So I have now been in a situation where the four regions are named after different steak places.
In Indianapolis. All right, we've been to all of them.
We've been to all of them, so let's do it. So what's the best cut? Are you a St.
Elmo's guy?

I mean, I like the vibe in Harry and Izzy's a little bit.

Okay.

Okay.

So South Region, what is that?

Gonzaga.

No, we got to go left to right, my man.

That is left to right, is it not?

It's a little bit different.

I'm just getting up the PDF here on my...

All right.

We have printed out copies, not to brag.

Yeah, I mean, it's tight course. Okay, I got it.
All right. right okay west region is going to be the saint elmo's region okay okay this is illinois number one houston number two oh no that's the west that's the west cat you just said the west what is it look it's gonzaga's region oh is our bracket screwed up is our bracket maybe ours is wait it feels like space well it feels like space ballsballs when Mel Brooks was on backwards and he had a microconverter malfunction.
All right. Jake gave us these brackets, not to blame Jake.
Actually, Jake and Billy. Yes.
Ours is screwed up. All right.
Ours is screwed up. It's the West up top.
Yes. All right.
Gonzaga is St. Elmo's.
Our South is your West. Gonzaga.
Okay. Gonzaga.
This is the St. Elmo's region.
Okay, great. We got Oklahoma and Missouri.
Rematch of the 2002 Elite Eight when Kelvin Sampson beat Quinn Snyder to go to the Final Four. Kareem Russian Company came up a little bit short that day.
I feel like Oklahoma has been obviously on a downward trajectory since the Lon Corleone one-liner. Missouri, a very Jekyll and Hyde-type team.
I'm going to go with Missouri over Oklahoma. They'll play Gonzaga in the round of 32.
Creighton UCSB, you know, you guys know for a long time I didn't believe in vacations, but my favorite vacation spot, okay, my favorite place to be in the great United States. Omaha, Nebraska.
No, Santa Barbara, California. Great ice cream at McConnell's Ice Cream.

But when I went on vacation there a couple years ago,

the first thing I did was went to a Santa Barbara off-season workout,

and I couldn't believe the talent in this program.

I mean, there is an American Athletic Conference caliber roster

at Santa Barbara.

They've got high major transfers.

Ja'Quarrie McLaughlin, a transfer from Oregon State, is a miles Norris, a transfer from Oregon's a really good player. DeVerell Ramsey, a transfer from Nevada has great speed, great velocity in the open court.
I've got Santa Barbara over Creighton. Okay.
That was why I said Omaha because Creighton. All right.
So wait, when you go on vacation, let's say you're eating ice cream. Do you ever wear shorts? I always picture you as being like a suit 24-7 guy.
Yeah, I would say like every like spring, like I have to go out and buy a couple pairs of khaki shorts. I really like honestly, like I don't have like many levels to my wardrobe.
Like my fiancee breaks my chops about this all the time. I'm either a suit tie handkerchief or I'm like in a blue button down in jeans with the sleeves rolled up there is no in between got it got it okay you don't own sweatpants no i own sweatpants but only to work out like it's like you know there's just it's not just like i have different levels of the drogue yeah yeah got it all right this region the saint elmo's region to me big picture gonzaga has a cakewalk now that is because Gonzaga is that good but they have beaten the two three and four team in this region Iowa has some major flaws Kansas I would say is is the strongest team and they were playing the best ball they obviously had the COVID layoff but when you look at the rest of the region like the uh you know the four Virginia also the COVID uh creighton you just have them losing in the first round usc has had trouble the oregon oregon i don't know what to make of them i think this is if gonzaga doesn't go to the final four it's a huge huge upset well i'll say this too i think that you know it's a championship or bus type situation for gonzaga you got to the national championship game in 2017.
You were a couple of possessions away from winning a national championship. But, guys, there is not a great blue blood representation in this NCAA tournament.
There's no vintage Kentucky. There's no vintage Carolina, Kansas, Duke.
Villanova just lost Colin Gillespie. So I look at Gonzaga's path here to winning a title as Mark Few's best chance to win a national championship it's his best offensive team it may not be his best all-around team since he's been in Spokane but this to me is a championship or bust situation but I do want to point this out in the bottom part of the St.
Elmo's region bracket the most under-seeded team in the 2021 NCAA tournament is Oregon yep Daniel Altman the master of the Rubik's Cube it's like obviously you know Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind with what he can do with mixing and matching you know different you know alignments with transfers and different players and I look right now at Oregon and I see a team you got to judge them by the team that they're going to play with in the NCAA tournament they're 11 and 3 with Will Richardson in the lineup their starting point guard this team is more talented than its seed I think they're a very difficult matchup for Iowa I have a big Pac-12 breakthrough at the bottom of the St. Elmo's region I've got Oregon going to the second weekend to match up with usc and evan mobley in the sweet 16 kansas is obviously at personnel issues evan mobley the most talented player on the floor in that game i've got a six versus seven in the sweet 16 on the bottom portion of the saint elmo's so is it fair to say that you you agree with us that iowa is a big f word they're frauds no i just think it's a bad matchup for iowa i i agree I agree with you on Oregon.
They had a bunch of issues. They had COVID.
They had injury issues. They finally got their full team out there in February.
They were lights out. But that's all the more reason why the loss to Oregon State and the way they lost was baffling on Friday night.
They got their asses kicked. Obviously, that makes logical sense.
But remember, there's no such thing as logic in college basketball. I can quote the great late Howard Garfinkel, wrestling T-score.
And I also want to point this out, too. We should not look necessarily at momentum from championship week when we're making our bracket selections.
Here's a piece of information. Six of the last eight national champions did not win their respective conference

tournaments the only two who did were louisville in 2013 and villanova in 2018 wait no louisville didn't win that happened didn't happen we can't say that fine anyway it sounded good no no but i think your point even stands further because now you can say like what never happened six out of the last seven times.

It didn't happen.

It didn't happen.

Straight away, but it happened.

It didn't happen.

Where's the banner where's the banner on the back of his shoulder yeah all right so next region uh i think this is well let's just say it's the michigan i don't know what our bracket says but the michigan harry and izzy's region this is the harry and izzy okay okay so michigan has limped in they you know livers we don't know what's going to happen with him pretty much similar to your lawn Corleone I put Michigan as my number one team like three weeks ago and they have looked bad ever since so I'll take this was a one line or two that I started this year the fab vibe for Jawan Howard vibe I like that a lot uh coming out of this region or just break it down high level i like texas actually yep i like texas yeah i think you're on cat let's go top to bottom right now michigan obviously going to advance in the first game lsu st bonaventure a fantastic obviously first round game lsu showed its capabilities against obviously alabama in that great game And on Sunday, St. Bonaventure starts five juniors you know a real real dynamic balanced team Kyle Lofton Dominic Welch Jaron Holmes you know Jalen Attaway and Osuna Shuni so that's a very balanced team then you have Colorado against Georgetown I think a big edge in that game at point guard for Colorado McKinley Wright against Dante Harris who was obviously for Georgetown at the Big East Tournament, won the award, but he's still going against McKinley Wright.
Florida State and UNC Greensboro. UNC Greensboro has a player in Isaiah Miller, who again has the chance to star in this type of NCAA tournament setting, but it's a very difficult matchup for them, especially against the size of of Florida State inside UNC Greensboro has more size than they've had in past years with guys like Muhammad Abdul Salam and Hayden Koval but still I think it's a very very difficult matchup against Florida State then you know our guy Mark Pope here at BYU like you think somebody hates him he gets a six seed and he's either getting Tom Izzo or Mick Cronin Texas Abilene Christian UConn against Maryland and Alabama against Rick Pitino and Iona I'm taking Michigan against LSU Colorado Florida State I'm going to take Michigan State because of what the Big Ten has done this year to win two games to beat UCLA and beat BYU Texas advances over Abilene Christian and then yukon against alabama then i'm gonna take michigan and win a close game against lsu and i got florida state advancing then i like texas to get to the second weekend and i think connecticut yeah connecticut can get to match up with alabama connecticut has the size and the defensive prowess to slow down and give Alabama fits.
And here's an interesting dynamic. If we get this game in the round of 32, when Dan Hurley was building the Rhode Island program, his premier recruit out of the gate was a young man by the name of E.C.
Matthews from Romulus, Michigan. His high school coach was Nate Oates.
Nate Oates made such a good impression on Dan Hurley that Dan Hurley said to his brother Bobby, if you ever get a job, Nate Oates would be a good assistant. Bobby hires him at Buffalo.
The rest is history. But I'm looking right there at that UConn team with the healthy James Booknight with the size and the physicality they have inside to be a dangerous matchup for Alabama.

I like Texas against Connecticut in the Sweet 16, Florida State against Michigan,

Florida State, Leonard Hamilton, the sentimental favorite.

He's done everything but get to a Final Four.

Then I've got Texas over UConn, and I am going to go with Shaka Smart

10 years after VCU gets to the Final Four, taking Texas to the Final Four. Guys, you know me, I love to draw parallels, and I'm going to draw one right here in the Harry and Izzy's region.
The guy that's blossomed the last week during Championship Week has been Jericho Sims of Texas. He has completely went to a different level.
It reminded me a lot of what Jordan Bell did during Oregon's Final Four run in 2017 when he just exploded like a volcano. If Jericho Sims can play three quarters as well as he did during the Big 12 tournament, Texas has an outstanding chance to go to a Final Four.
You're plugged in, John. What did Turgeon actually say to Juwan Howard that made him kind of fly off the handle in that game? I wasn't there, but, you know, I think Phil Martelli said, It's March.
I'm going to go one further. This is March.
Okay. All right.
By the way, what's your order when it comes to a steakhouse? Are you a ribeye guy? No, I really haven't eaten red meat in a long time. Oh! You named your brackets after steakhouses, but you don't eat red meat.
That's VCU all over. Yeah, it's a vacation in Europe.
Yeah. Two-week vacation.
No, it's a VCU home game at the Siegel Center. More life-altering than a 10-day trip to Europe.
Yeah. You've never been to Europe.
Never been to Europe. Don't eat red meat.
Again, I was supposed to go last summer. COVID got in the way.
But I'm still obviously wondering if the food and the Italian food is that much fresher overseas than it is obviously here in New York. Probably not.
I'm not in New York now. Yeah, you're not in New York.
All right. What's the next one? The Baylor, the Baylor.
That's the Ruth Chris region. Okay.
Wait, what? Okay. Famous Indy Steakhouse.
No, I know. I know.
I know. I know.
I'm wondering what the Ruth Chris region. It's actually, I hate to nitpick because you are you know you're mr bracket it's ruth's chris roots chris okay whatever wine okay uh all right who do you got coming out of this region well i've got baylor you know a baylor to me is gonna go i i have wisconsin winning a game against north carolina look north carolina played really well recently, but Demetri Trice has a distinct advantage with experience in this game in the backcourt.
And what about the frontcourt? Well, look, that's going to be an issue. But I think Wisconsin's due to play well out of the Big Ten.
Yeah. Okay, so you are prescribing to the theory that I have that iron sharpens iron.
The Big Ten was just that so much better than every other conference this year that Wisconsin losing to all these good teams. They are going to just march right through the tournament because they don't have to play any Big Ten teams.
I don't know about march through the tournament, but, I mean, like, look, they've played, obviously, competitive basketball against really, really good teams, and, you know, I like, obviously, their veteran experience. I mean, that's something that north carolina's backcourt especially in terms of securing the basketball with love and davis they haven't had all year kerwin walton i think kerwin walton's going to be an x-factor for this game i expect brad davison a lot of time on him defensively so it's an interesting matchup because it is backcourt obviously wisconsin has the edge but front court unc unc has a big edge then i look you know if we go a little bit lower lower there in the roots chris region you know i look at purdue as having a you know a great opportunity to get to the second weekend you have north texas not obviously the top team in the regular season in conference usa really good guard named jv on hamlet then you have winthrop villanova villanoping into the tournament.
Winthrop, 11 guys, average double figure minutes. Pat Kelsey's done a masterful job, but Purdue is a great chance an hour away from its campus to play into the second weekend.
Texas Tech and Utah State, two coaches that have really, really been like unbelievable climbers the last couple of years. Seven years ago, Chris Beard was the head coach of Angelo State a division two school and Craig Smith was an assistant at Nebraska I've got Texas Tech moving on I've got Arkansas beating Colgate I like Florida over Virginia Tech Trey Mann kind of obviously an off-the-radar guy could be a star and I've got Ohio State beating Max Aismas and Oral Roberts so I'm going to go Baylor over Wisconsin Purdue Villanova, Texas Tech over Arkansas.
I'm going to have Ohio State over Florida, and then I'm going to go with a Baylor-Texas Tech situation in the Elite Eight, and I've got Baylor going to the NCAA tournament. Walk me through Texas Tech over Arkansas because we're must-bust guys.
He's actually listening to this right now. So don't say anything bad about him.
No, Musselman has done a masterful job. I just, you know, Texas Tech with the way they – I don't believe you.
I don't believe you. Why don't you believe me? I don't believe that you think he's done a masterful job.
I think you're lying to us. All right.
Well, I think, you know, right now if you were able to get a polygraph test and you were able to get it to this, it to this hotel room in Indianapolis here in the bubble, you would see that I'm absolutely telling the truth. Because Eric Musselman, you know, in a lot of ways, unlike what he's done in Nevada, Nevada was such a transfer heavy rebuild.
He has blended freshmen and transfers at Arkansas. He sprinkled in a Jalen Tate with a Moses Moody, with a Jalen Williams, with a Justin Smith.

So I think, you know, it's a little bit different there, Kat.

But wait, so you think Texas Tech is that good?

Sounds like you think that Texas Tech is like the second or third best team on that side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, for sure.

I mean, I just, I have belief in Chris Beard.

I've got belief in, obviously, you know, the culture of Texas Tech,

and, you know, they're built for the NCAA tournament.

I love it.

All right, last one, Illinois, that region that region are you gonna do prime 47 or no prime 47 no this is steak and shake oh you that's see this is why you're the best John I you you gave us the hezy hey I was waiting for the prime 47 no it's steak and shake okay it's steak and shake for sure so you know we go down this region now and we've got uh illinois obviously against drexel georgia tech lowly chicago should be a obviously pitbull type game i'm gonna take georgia tech there tennessee over oregon state oklahoma state against liberty liberty's got a really really good guard named darius mcgee you know a son player of the year really really good player in San Diego State I'm going to take over Syracuse they'll play West Virginia and then Rutgers I'm going to take over Clemson which first the 45 wins Houston is going to then play Rutgers you know it's been so long since Rutgers has been in the NCAA tournament it's been three decades 30 years and you know the last time the Rutgers was in the NCAA tournament. It's been three decades, 30 years.
And, you know, the last time that Rutgers was in the NCAA tournament, Dances with Wolves won the Academy Award for Best Picture. That's how long it is.
There you go. John, by the way, I totally forgot to mention, you are endorsed by Body Armor, right? Well, they have a sponsorship agreement with my podcast.
I love it. So they have it with us as well.
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It's Body Armor Edge. I'm going to drink this all weekend long to keep myself up, to keep myself hydrated, no cramps.
That's the way to go. Body Armor, that is awesome that they're doing this.
Tropical Chaos is one of the flavors. That's a great name for a flavor.
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That tastes great and it feels great because look at those names. I'm going to get myself.
You're going to go Tropical Chaos? Tropical Chaos. I'm going to go Power Punch.
What are you going to get, John? Orange Frenzy or Berry Blitz? I think Berry Blitz sounds good. Yeah, Berry Blitz sounds very good.
So Body Armor, thank you to Body Armor. Great sponsor of both Pardon My Take and John Rothstein's podcast.
That's some great synergy right there. Body Armor, a great sponsor.
Go and find Body Armor Edge at 7-Eleven or order on Amazon. It's the only drink you need for the March Madness Tournament because you're going to need to stay hydrated and stay alert because this is March, John.
All right. March.
I heard that before. Steak and shake.
Illinois is playing the best basketball in the country right now, wouldn't you say? No question. They're the team I'm going to pick to win a national championship.
Wow. Yeah.
Wow. I put a future on them today, and it might be recency bias, but they look like when they're firing, when they got their two best players playing well, I don't know how any team can beat them.
And granted, I've watched maybe like three Gonzaga games this year, so they might be able to do it. But as far as this side of the bracket, the Ruth's Chris and Steak and Shake, I don't see any team beating Illinois.
Yeah, I mean, I think you look at it, PFT, and I think the team that obviously could be the biggest threat to them on that side would be baylor in the final four but i look at the bottom of that region the steak and shake region and you've got a san diego state team and again nobody's talking about they've won 14 games in a row west virginia obviously has its highest seed guys since the mountaineers went to the final four in indianapolis 11 years ago and then you're gonna have Houston who again is 24 and 3 under Kelvin Sampson remember this guys the best player on Houston in the preseason okay was Caleb Mills he was the American Athletic Conference player of the year in the preseason he leaves the team and then he doesn't really affect their bottom line they're still 24 and 3 I know they're not in one of the best conferences in the country but that's an incredible accomplishment for that program also Fabian White who is obviously their starting power forward didn't come back till about a month ago and they still played 27 games and won 24 so I look at that bottom of that region being loaded and I also think we have the potential if it lines up to have a Cade Cunningham Io DeSumo matchup in the 16 which would be sensational in the steak and shake region but no I'm going to I think we have the potential, if it lines up, to have a Cade Cunningham-Io Desumu matchup in the Sweet 16, which would be sensational in the Steak and Shake region. But no, I'm going to take the one seeds on that side.
I've got Illinois, Baylor, Gonzaga, Texas in my final four. Illinois, Baylor, Gonzaga, Texas.
All right, so three out of four one seeds. That's fair.
And then you have Illinois beating Baylor and then beating Gonzaga? I have Illinois beating Baylor and then beating Gonzaga. I think Gonzaga will get to 31-0 and then fall to Illinois.
Because one of the things I'm telling you guys, just being in this environment, is you want to obviously experience, you want to be in a situation where you obviously have a great one-two punch and you want to have star power. Mental stamina for older teams is going to be a critical element to this whole thing, a very critical element.
I like it. I like Illinois.
Yes, yes. I am behind that 100%.
I think they were, what, like plus 700? Yeah, the plus 700. I also am going to put a future down on them.
Yes, absolutely. All right, John, I got to ask.
The Maryland spring break tweet. Some people are wondering, what does that mean? Well, guys, when they were fans, okay, and obviously the world was obviously more normal before we went into this pandemic.
You guys know me. I've been all over the country covering college basketball.
The one place that was like rehab at the hard rock hotel in las vegas for a basketball game was maryland the xfinity center was crazy and it was the loudest place i've ever been it was raucous and i remember being there you know for games i remember the game i was at when alex len hit a put back to beat nc state i've been there so many times for games, and it felt like spring break. And then, obviously, you know, with Maryland being just north of Washington, D.C., I just kind of said, this is like the spring break capital of the Northeast.
Wait a minute. There it is.
That's it. So there you go.
I think it's harder, Cat, when you look at a pandemic-type season where there's no fans, but when the world resets, God willing, and we have fans back in the stands and there's the pageantry that's back with college basketball you will see what i mean when college park gets back to being the spring break capital northeast but yeah it's like rehab in the hard rock hotel in las vegas it's like a trip to puerto vallarta that's out of this world something you you haven't been to you haven't been to puerto vallarta no i've heard stories okay Have you at least been to the Hard Rock? Many years ago. I remember many years ago, like 17 years ago.
I like it. It's like you read a book on what fun would be like.
You file stuff away. If I need to make an analogy for later.
I like that. What would be a fun experience? Oh, okay.
Well, I mean, fun experiences like every day. I mean, think about the scenario we have going on right now.
We've got Tom Izzo and Mick Cronin in the first four in a standalone game in the NCAA tournament. That's true.
That is the definition of fun. Have you considered changing your Twitter avatar? Because I've seen pictures of you where people edit it to make your eyes glow red, and that's when Rothstein gets activated in March.
Have you considered changing your avatar, at least just for the tournament, to be activated, Rothstein? I believe this quote by Aristotle. We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then is, what is it, excellence is a habit? Oh, shit. The computer, we got to plug you back in.
Hold on a second, I short-circuited. We got to plug you back in.
I'm going to dig it up right now. I'm going to dig it up right now.
Come on, John. It's been a long day, and I was wondering if the Mountain West was going to get four bids.
They didn't. They didn't.
You know, the bubble stealers, the bid stealers really hurt them. Yeah.
So I actually have one last question. Can you explain to us the standby teams and how this works? If a team can't obviously be available, okay, there are certain teams on standby to fill in for the NCAA tournament.
Here's the quote. We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence is not an act but a habit. Aristotle, that's what I believe.
Okay. That's nice.
So what happens? Is there a specific – is it straight like Louisville's the first team that goes in right is that how it works yeah that's how it works it's all on nca.com they give you all the guidelines and so on and so forth so there's teams like right now that are going to be at the ready if you know obviously god forbid you know something happens but remember just stay positive test negative yeah but what about how it works like if a team uh comes down with covid and they come from a one bid conference how does that work in terms of their replacement they're like different different team obviously in that conference who's next up will then step in ah okay not louisville like if a if uh yeah this is all i'll get it for you guys this is all obviously documented in the uh in the in in the uh in the NCAA guideline situation. Got it.
That's crazy. So I'm just excited, John.
I'm so excited that we got to talk to you. I'm so excited that March Madness is back.
It feels like we made it. We made it.
Guys, I told you, obviously, throughout, we had a lot of group messages about the positivity that we needed to keep. And, you know, I'm going to go with another quote right now from a movie that really defined our generation the shawshank redemption remember when tim robbins said this to morgan freeman hope is a good thing maybe the best of things no good thing ever dies we had hope we stuck together and we're getting ready for an ncaa tournament starting on thursday 67 games 18 days one general area again if you don't want to do a push-up on a picket fence right now, you officially hate fun.
I love it. All right, thanks, John.
We really appreciate it. Hopefully we'll talk to you again throughout the tournament, but best of luck in the bubble.
Stay positive and test negative. We sleep in May.
Love you dearly. Love you too, John.
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Okay, let's finish up the show.

Drew Brees has retired.

I'm good, by the way.

Hank is good.

You done?

Yeah.

You've got nothing left.

Yeah.

Shit.

Well, I feel great.

It's like after crying, like I have no tears left.

Yeah.

You know it was a great shit when Hank changed his shirt to come back.

Yeah, I did a full Costanza at one point. Yeah, I do.
You feel, you look better. I feel, yeah.
The life has come back in there. Yeah, I feel great.
Drew Brees has retired. Drew Brees has retired.
It finally happened. I didn't see the reaction because it went, he basically kind of, I know he wanted to do it because it was, I think, the 20th year anniversary for when he, what, 15th year anniversary for For when he came in the league or whatever it may have been.
Oh, no, when he got surgery. Yeah, signed with the Saints.
But it's kind of stupid to do it on Selection Sunday when he retired and then, boom, brackets in our hands. But was there any response about how his daughter wasn't wearing a jersey? No.
I haven't seen it, but we can make that response right now. His daughter wasn't wearing a jersey.
It actually is funny at this point how much Drew Brees negs his daughter. Because when it first happened, the very first time that he was throwing passes to his sons, and then his daughter was staying next to him, there were five or ten people that got upset about it, and it was funny to laugh at those people.
But in every other series of footage that I've seen of Drew Brees playing with his kids, his daughter is actually never included. Never.
Never. Justice for Little Miss Brees.
It's so fucking funny. So, yeah, he's done.
I think we all expected that. The hair gave me pause, but the hair can be explained away as like a Jason Witten, Brian Urlacher glow up.
Yep, and I think the biggest loser in all this is myself. Not to make it about myself, Drew Brees' retirement, but I am going to miss being right about Drew Brees being washed up and having Saints fans be angry at me when he beats the Panthers and has like an 80% completion percentage.
And everyone's like, no, he's not washed up. But Hall of Famer, incredible career.
Probably played a year or two, too long, but that's okay. It's also funny how his retirement announcement kind of got a little cucked by the Taysom Hill contract.
Yeah. So Taysom Hill got the greatest extension of all time.
Four years, $140 million, big cat. We should just stop there.
We should not explain it. Just be like, that's it.
That million dollars per touchdown pass that tasem hill has ever thrown this is uh shefty's masterpiece and by masterpiece i mean shefty's masterpiece of bowing down to the agents and tweeting whatever they ask him to tweet uh this i actually if i were tasem hill i'd be mad that shefty tweeted this that my agent said I want to flex so much about 140 million dollar contract that is made up money all it says 140 million dollars all year's voidable and he has 12 million guaranteed he signed 140 million dollar contract for 12 million dollars yes it's not like after this year he's not going to get 140 million no he's going to get 12 million dollars ever I'll put it this Sean Payton, he falls in love with a lot of people. He falls in love with a lot of players, but he's really good at prenups.
So he can put this out there like, oh, yeah, it's a long-term marriage between me and Taysom with this huge number. But no, Sean Payton is not going to come anywhere close to forking over that kind of cash for Taysom Hill.
Don't you think, though, that Taysom Hill has a right to be a little upset because he just got roasted. He got roasted for the $140 million eye-popping number that when I say the agent thing, it is so clear that every contract that gets announced, Adam Schefter gets it directly from the agent.
It is ridiculous numbers, and none of it is real because every single contract in the NFL is like the same where it's this guy signed for five years, $175 million. But if you really want to strip it down, it's a two-year deal for like 45.
And this is the ultimate example of that because it is a one-year deal. You don't need any of these numbers involved.
None. If Adam Schefter, he could have gone one of two ways and I would be okay if I was Taysom Hill.
He could have really what he should have done is just tweet four years, $140 million, and then let everybody else figure it out after the fact. Because in the tweet that he put out, it said the rest of the money after the first year is not guaranteed and easily voidable.
Just don't put that in there. Either tweet out what the one-year contract is, or just let me figure out on my own that Sean Payton's not actually giving him four years, $140 million, because at least for a couple hours, I might actually think that Sean Payton loves Taysom enough to pay him $140 million.
Right. So Drew Brees got cucked by Selection Sunday and by that.
He is a Hall of Famer. He's a first ballot Hall of Famer.
I don't think anyone questions that. He also I don't think we will ever see a player have a relationship with a city as unique and as deep as Drew Brees has with New Orleans.
Like that is something that is I don't know if it will ever happen again. I really don't.
Like it's very rare for there to be that perfect set of events and it wasn't obviously a perfect event Hurricane Katrina but what he did for that city and the pride that I think you know that city takes and drew breeze and those Saints I it it's clear that it goes beyond sports and it means more to Saints fans so I totally get it I totally get why they were very protective of him over the years in the last two years I completely understand it. It was fun for me, but I get it.
And I think that that is his lasting legacy, that he will be a god in New Orleans forever. Yes, absolutely.
And you probably won't see it unless another disaster happens to a city with a quarterback. Like if there's really bad traffic on the 405 for six months nonstop, Matt Stafford arrives in L.A., traffic's cleared up, they win a Super Bowl, then you'd see it.
But you need something that would be like a rebuilding. You'd have to rebuild an entire city along with having it be a combination of a franchise that has never won anything and never really had a good quarterback besides, you know, Archie.
He was like a 500 quarterback. But, like, if the Bears got a guy that won the Super Bowl after a disaster, it would be kind of like that.
Yeah. The only thing that I can think of that pops in my head is if Derrick Rose had won a title with the Bulls.
That would have been something. There's these certain players and what they can mean to a different city.
I'm trying to think. I'm racking my brain right now.
I mean, J.J. Watt had a little there where it was like clearly, you know, especially with what he did for the city of Houston.
But it's hard to get that. Yeah, Drew Brees definitely had a unique relationship with New Orleans.
LeBron and Cleveland. Oh, no.
He left Cleveland twice. Never mind.
They don't like him there anymore. Whoops.
He could have been. Yeah.
Actually, LeBron and Cleveland is a fact because of the one title he brought them. That actually is that he does have that type of relationship even though it's actually a testament to his relationship with Cleveland that they don't hate him after leaving twice because he did win.
So that's the answer. LeBron in Cleveland is the answer to Drew Brees in New Orleans.
What if Baker wins the Super Bowl for the Browns? I feel like that elevates him above LeBron because he never left.

Baker never left.

That's true.

That is very, very true.

Cam Newton, we talked about him when Hank was in the dumper.

Feeling okay?

No.

No.

They have to get someone else, right?

That's really the...

They're going to draft someone.

Right.

I thought you were talking about my stomach.

Oh.

If they draft someone, I understand it. But if they don't, if they're like, hey, we're going to just roll with this.
But also, I have a feeling that they're just going to become like the Navy offense. Getting Trent Brown back and then being like, let's run with Cam Newton.
He would honestly be sick if they did that. I actually...
I wouldn't be shocked if Belichick was like I'm going to prove how much of a genius

I am. We're bringing back the triple

option. We're going to run the ball 60 times

in the game. He's going to adopt our philosophy

of downfield laterals and the triple option.

Yeah. Yeah.
Mitch

seems like he's gone. Sad.

Officially. Not official

but close to official. It's not necessarily

official because I read the story about him and they

said the ship has sailed but the door is still open. So they're mixing their metaphors a little bit.
It's a drawbridge, I guess, and so it can turn around a little bit. So I don't know.
If Nick Foles looks like he sucks enough, when they pass him in the hallway, they'll be like, you know what, maybe roll the dice on Mitch. Yes, and then the Packers signed Aaron Jones to a new deal.
So that was smart.

They last year drafted a new quarterback and a new running back,

and they're about to give money to a running back and a quarterback,

not the guys they drafted.

Yeah, wow.

They're just doubling up on every position.

As an owner, I don't hate it.

They are doubling up on every position.

Yeah, but that's fine.

You get the new guys in to learn from the old guys.

Yeah, I guess so.

What are you going to say, Billy?

Juice got re-upped. Did they? Yeah.
Really? That's the most important signing they can make in their offense. Nice.
That is sick. Revolutionary fullback.
Yeah, so Billy, should we talk about Billy Gate? Oh, yeah. About Billy Gate? A lot of false accusations.
No, no. It's not false accusations.
Total false accusations. Friend of the program and pothead Chris Long said that Billy reported his burner.

Basically.

For saying that you were dehydrated or I hope you get dehydrated. Let PFT explain.

Yeah, so Billy, while Billy was busy looking futilely for my burner account,

Chris Long, friend of the program, I guess he texted me and began and said,

I've had a burner account going for a while.

It's been sitting on the sidelines. He's been wanting to put it into action, but he's never really had the opportunity to do it.
It's like that one ingredient in your cupboard that you look at every day. You're like, maybe I'll cook with this hot sauce today.
And you never do. And so he finally started using it, replied to one of Billy's tweets, and said, I hope you get dehydrated.
Kind of hypocritical coming from Mr. Waterboy himself.
And then his tweet got reported to Twitter.com suspiciously right after chirping Billy. So we're just connecting the dots, Billy.
We're not conspiracy theorists, but connecting the dots and reading the tea leaves. It sounds like you harassed Chris Long's burner for harassing you.
I would just like to state my case. I am not in the business.
Like, look, if you look at any of my tweets, you have seen over the last months, soy boy, frog fucker, chicken fucker. Yeah, these are all my replies.
Like, terrible things that I tolerate. I don't report.
You know, okay, fine, whatever. And lately, because because of this burner You can't report them if they're true.
This burner business, I've been fighting armies of burners every morning on Twitter. I wake up and I say let's go, about to hop back in and I just take it on burner after burner.
Yeah, you take them out. I do not report them.
Billy, you just said that you're fighting them. I fight them by existing.
Someone on Instagram said that. Okay, you cannot call me soft.
Wait, Billy Softball, let's report that person. No, I didn't report any of these people.
The thing is, what people won't mention is that the tweet. All right, let me throw this in there.
Before you got here today, Billy tried to tell Hank and I that the tweet got reported because it said they wanted Billy to die, to get dehydrated and die. Yes.
I went and found the original. He was saying Twitter automatically.
I don't even know what the tweet is, so how can I report it? Chris Long had texted it to me. All it said was, I hope you get dehydrated.
Yeah. Nothing about dying, so it's very clear, and I know Billy well enough now when Billy is cornered he just starts making up lies.
You don't know me. Yeah, I do.
No, you don't. Your brain's not that hard to figure out.
You're a smart kid, but you're also really bad at lying. So you thought this was like the best lie ever, and then we debunked it and then you just started panicking.
I did not debunk. I did not do it.
Billy, are you dehydrated? Yikes, I was taking too much creatine. Okay.
So it sounds like you were sensitive. It was like it cut too close to the bone.
I was mixing creatine with my mac and cheese to see if it was like a good way to get more creatine. Yeah.
And so if somebody says, I hope you get dehydrated while you're doing that, you probably get very offended by it. Don't you? Look, I have no idea who reported it.
Probably Twitter bots, and people have been talking about this. You're blaming Jack for this.
Yeah, Jack's been reported. Section 230.
Implement Section 230. If you tweet Memphis, you get blocked, too.
I saw that on a tweet. Yeah.
But yeah, so basically it got reported because it was wishing harm on other people. That's why it got clocked.
What? That's one of the ways it gets clocked. Dehydration.
So if you tweet, I want you to die, it automatically gets flagged. The robots, bro.
The bots. We're blaming the robots.
The bots. I hope you get dehydrated.
Dude, people say the worst things to me on Twitch and on Twitter. Like, this is nothing.
Saying dehydrated is nothing. There's so much more worse stuff.
Let's do an experiment. You just never thought, there was no chance that you thought that this burner was going to somehow be Chris Long's and somehow come back to you.
I'm not in the business of reporting burners at all. Except you did it like a week ago.
Yeah, but that was a different situation. Okay.

I just want to say to everyone out there.

26.

Tired burner accounts, wired burner people.

Youngstown Bob is my burner person.

He's a legitimate, real human being, and I've taken control of his Twitter account.

So if you see tweets from there, they're most likely from me, but they're also Bob.

He's a real person. So old hat is being like, oh, that's your burner.

I literally have a burner person.

He exists.

I've got a burner in all facets of my life.

I've got a burner gambling account

that I tell myself isn't real, so when

I lose money on it, I don't have to pay.

I'll never burn

again.

You'll never burn again?

Alright, let's do numbers 22 99 Bald eagles mate in a free fall While grasping talons It's badass And they go towards the ground Not flying And then they literally have to pull out And pull up. Hank and PFT, do you feel like lesser of men?

No, because I'm due.

Yeah, but no one got it.

Yeah.

Love you guys. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Shine it away. I'm coming for your love of truth.
Shine it away. I'm coming for your love of truth.
Love of truth. Love of truth.
Love of truth. Love of truth.
Take on me Take me out

I'll be there

And I'll do it too It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.