Paul Bissonnette, Dak Gets Paid And Conference Championship Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have Paul Bissonette, one of our good friends, Spittin' Chicklets fame.
Awesome interview, in-person interview, always great, always different energy when we get someone in person, live in the flesh. we went all it was great to talk hockey with him but also

we got in the mind of

his career and uh having to fight a bunch of guys very fun interview get excited for that we have dak prescott getting paid we have hot seat cool throne we have guys on chicks it is wednesday're going to get right back to the show.

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Thank you. All right, back to part of my take.

Let's go. Hey! All on the sun, oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by 3chi.com That's the number 3chi.comcom.
Use code pardon at checkout for 5% off your order. Today is Wednesday, March 10th.
And Dak Prescott got paid. Pay Dak.
Big time paid. Good for him.
Monster pay. Very good for him.
And it's actually like maybe the best contract that's ever been signed. For him or for the Cowboys? For a player.
Right. It is front-loaded.
He's getting like $60 million this year. $66 million the minute he signs, $75 million this year, $95 million guaranteed against injury, and then like $126 million that's guaranteed otherwise.
They basically have to cut him to not. So it's like $126 out of the $160 million is guaranteed, and it's four years.
What do you think happens when you sign your contract and you're due $66 million? How long after you sign on the dotted line are you allowed to be like, where's my money? Yeah. Does direct deposit hit immediately do they give you a check i think it does i think it hits immediately and then you just have the money what if you sign it and then you have to wait like a week and a half for payday no i think it comes right away that's awesome i think they i think you press a button and it's just like jerry jones has a button on his desk direct deposit it just it's like the uh mr Burns thing where it opens up the floor except you fall into the Scrooge McDuck

vault of just gold coins.

What do you even buy right away?

If I'm Dak, probably a mouthpiece.

Probably a personality.

Yeah, probably a bodyguard and go to Panama City

Beach to try to make up for some

past mistakes.

No, but it's good for him. He bet on himself.

I always root for any guy who bets on himself. Wait was the personality thing uh his color is gray when he came now one of our best interview we we are we have talked about doing uh a worst of the first worst of of all time on a podcast i think we should do it this year i listen i think dac prescott's a nice guy.
There are certain people who come on the podcast who are it's clearly a PR hit and they're just here to pitch their product Aaron Donald and then move on. Well, he sat down and we were like, I think one of the first questions you asked him was what's the deal with your name? Did you know that you have a porn star's name? Yeah.
And he was like, I'm actually just here to talk about yogurt. Yeah.
If you could get back to that. Well, and we also had some history that Dak, to his credit, had no idea about when we were supposed to interview him at the Super Bowl in Minnesota.
That's right. And he stood us up.
And we spent like an hour trying to get into this building, and then he stood us up. But either way.
Hell hath no furycaster score i'm happy for dak prescott he's a great player he bet on himself he deserves the money it's awesome for him i don't understand like so there is obviously an argument to be made like if you don't think you have the guy uh paying him a lot of money will screw you up but the cowboys are they don't win anyway they also, if you want to point to one thing they screwed up, it's probably Ezekiel Elliott's contract, right? Like Dak Prescott, that's the going rate for quarterbacks right now. You want to have the argument, where does he rank in the top 10 or top 15? That's fine.
But that's the going rate for a quarterback that is above average, and that's Dak Prescott. Yeah, I think at the time with Ezek Ezekiel Elliott Dak was I don't remember exactly where Dak was in his contract but it felt like the jury was still out you didn't know how good Dak was going to be so I can kind of I can argue this both ways so I guess that's what I'm going to do uh the first opinion let's pick sides well well I can see that here's the thing I can see it both ways and the way that I see that it's good is depending on how I'm currently defining the MVP award so that it best suits my current argument, you could make the argument that Dak is an MVP guy because you saw what happened when he went out last year.
And the team just stunk. Like, Andy Dalton is probably an average backup.
So Dak goes out, Andy comes in, the team just goes to absolute shit so the take i wonder i'm sure this has been made but as first as chris brassard says the first that i know of i'm making this take is dak the first injury that actually got him paid because that injury what you're right like andy dalton the cowboys were not the same they have a ton of weapons around them they drafted cd C.D. Lamb.
They have Amari Cooper. They have Zeke Elliott.
They couldn't do anything. And you'd have to think, like, did they watch that and say, wow, Dak Prescott's probably better than we thought? Yeah, I think in a way it did get him paid.
The only other guy I can think of is Drew Brees maybe. Yeah.
When his shoulder got hurt and then he became a free agent and he kind of had his pick of the litter. Granted, he wasn't making as much money as he probably would have, but becoming a free agent turned out to be a good thing for Drew Brees at the time.
But with Dak, it's like, yeah, maybe that's the blueprint. Break your leg early in the season when you're about to become a free agent and then that way you limit your risk of having a catastrophic injury later on.
Well, we also – I think there's a thing that happens in the collective conscience of injuries where when a guy gets injured, you're like, oh, my God, this could be it for him. When you franchise tag a guy, it sucks because he could be injured and that could be it.
Injuries aren't like that anymore. If Alex Smith can come back from his leg almost falling off, the injuries aren't the same as they were 30 years ago.
Like it's not who is it? Mickey Mano who stepped on a sprinkler and that was it? That doesn't happen anymore. You know what you don't hear anymore? You never hear a guy being like I blew my knee out.
Right. Like your dad.
Your dad's friends would be like yeah I was pretty good then I blew my knee out. Or I threw my arm out.
And then that's as far as medical science went at that point. It's like, okay, his leg doesn't exist anymore.
With Dak, it became very clear last year, and I'm always going to be a little bit of a hater on Dak just because he's a division guy. Yep.
And I don't want to see him succeed as much as some other people do. But I think if we're doing quarterback tiers, which you have to do.
Okay. By the way, tune into Billy's bracket of draftable quarterbacks.
Oh, you're actually going to do it? Yeah, we had a little discussion about that earlier today. Nice.
But if we're doing tiers, I would say that Dak is a great, very good quarterback. Ooh.
So he's like the best very good quarterback. Give me a number.
Give me the tier number. He's the best very good quarterback.
But give me the... That is how I usually rank...
Well, I rank sucks and good. Right.
And so I actually think he's the worst good quarterback. Oh, I actually think that he's an average good quarterback.
Yeah, I put him a little bit higher. I would put him at, like, number seven, number eight.
Yeah, that's right around where my cutoff is, though. Because remember, the Matt Stafford line was always my good, sucky quarterback.
So, yeah, I think he's a great, very good quarterback, and this is the going rate for a free agent, great, very good quarterback. And next up is, well, Aaron Rodgers wants a recommitment from the Green Bay Packers.
Josh Allen. Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson are going to get paid a ton of money.
Wait, when we first had Josh Allen on, did we say in exchange for providing services, pumping up his draft stock, we get, what was it, 2.5% of his lifetime earnings? You know what? Let's just say 2%. 2%.
Let's be nice about it. We'll cut a little off.
Okay, we'll give the .5% to charity. He's going to pay.
Yeah, the next quarterbacks, it's got to be pretty awesome when Dak Prescott gets paid and you're one of the next guys. Yeah.
And you're this is nice it keeps going up and up and up baron rogers is probably already pissed off about his his contract yeah he wants the recommitment so uh you can look at it that way but then i was thinking you can also look at it from a different perspective and that is what you get when you have your owner being jerry jones so the extension you okay yeah you got Corona?ona wrong hole sometimes it's wrong hole you boofed it wrong hole yeah uh which hole you want to put it in so with jerry jones anytime he i i think his perspective on this was that this is like jerry's opportunity to pat himself on the back for drafting a good quarterback that no one liked. So in a way, Jerry is proving himself correct by being like, this guy that I found was the fourth round nobody else wanted.
He was like the eighth or ninth graded guy from all the scouting services. I took a chance on him.
I saw something in that kid. I drafted him.
Look at me. I was so right.
Now he's being paid the most guaranteed money of any quarterback to ever play. It's like Obama putting the Medal of Honor on Joe Biden.
He's like, look what a great vice president I picked. Yeah.
Look, he's a Medal of Honor award winner. Well, more than anything, it's just this is you see it.
Every team has this issue where it's if you have a quarterback that is a little bit better than good, you're going to have to pay him. And there's no other.
I went through this when the Bears were paying Jay Cutler and everyone was like, well, you can't do that. Yeah, you have to.
You either have to. When you have a quarterback that is a little bit better than average or a little bit better than good, I'll say Dak is better than good, you have to pay him.
You can't. it was never even an option in my head.
Yeah. Ben DiNucci is not the guy that's going to take you to the Super Bowl.
As much as I hate to say it, it's not in the cards. Dak is, I mean, you could win a Super Bowl with Dak.
Does he fall into that category for you? Is he a confetti quarterback? Confetti quarterback. That's the question.
I can picture it. I don't know.
It's not even on Dak. It's more just that I just don't trust that Jerry Jones and Stephen Jones will do what's right for the rest of the roster.
Right. Like paying Ezekiel Elliott.
Mike McCarthy, not a confetti coach. I know he's won a Super Bowl, but this iteration of Mike McCarthy, he's a confetti cake coach.
Depends on how many watermelons. Will he be smashing watermelons next year? Yeah.
This is the reason I would love to play for Jerry Jones. Because he would do stuff like pay you a shitload of money if it made him feel good.
And also, he, I mean, let's be real. Jerry's getting to the end of his line here.
He's probably in the mindset of, you can't take it with you. I can either spend all this money on my players and go ball us to the wall and really try to get one more Super Bowl, or I can just give it to my idiot son and have him fuck everything up for me.
So Jerry's giving his money away. He's spending like a sailor on shore leave.
Well, I don't know if that's you think that that's really how like I think they're just going to spend to the salary cap every year. I think Jerry wants He wasn't going to save any of this money anyway.
The Saints would beg to differ. You can do...
The salary cap doesn't exist in the NFL. Right.
No, I'm saying he was going to spend no matter what. Right.
He's very... He's got more than enough money.
If Jerry Jones likes you and you play on the Cowboys, there's no job in America that has better job security besides maybe being an employee at Barstool Sports where nobody gets fired. Yes, that is true.
Billy's still here. Billy is still very much in this room right now.
But yeah, good for Dak. Be nice to Billy.
I'm glad for Dak. As a Washington football team fan, I'm not super excited because he's definitely the best quarterback in the division.
There, I said it. I know that's controversial.
Although Joe Judge did give a, no, it was Gettleman, gave a ringing endorsement of Daniel Jones today, and he said, you know, not everyone is great at their job after two years, but Daniels are got. That's a fact.
I'm still a believer in Daniel Jones. I'm still buying stock.
It's cheap. It's very cheap right now.
But, yeah, this was going to happen. I don't know.
I guess I'm just never really shy. I think the Dak's deal was better than I expected just by the fact that it's four years.
I'd rather have Dak Prescott's deal than Patrick Mahomes. Oh, $500 million.
That's a lot of money, though. It is.
But it's not all guaranteed. It's 10 years.
Dak Prescott, if he's good for these next four years, can get paid a ton of money again when the salary cap goes back up, when TV deals, when, you know, like all, he basically is giving himself another shot at it, right? Like maybe Patrick Mahomes ends up with more money career-wise than Dak Prescott, probably will. But Dak Prescott at least has another shot at it.
No state income tax in Texas, too. That's also true.
Like we joke about the after taxes thing, and you're right likes the after-taxes guy, but you always have to throw that in there just to sprinkle it into the conversation. The state income tax guy, that's the smart version of the after-taxes guy because it actually does make a big difference if you play in Texas.
I don't know how they figure that out in terms of how many games you play on the road, how many games you play at home. I think you do have do have to pay it on on the road on the road games yeah so that actually does make a difference in the 17 game season then yes absolutely definitely year to year yeah although when you have that much money i don't even know if you do you even see it you probably just i actually if you had if you had 66 million i would ask for them to like print out a, like a bank, like almost an ATM receipt and be like, just show that to me.
Oh, my God. Every time I was at the ATM, if I was withdrawing like $40, do you want receipt? Absolutely.
Yes. And then I'd leave it very delicately like on top of the trash can so that people can leave it.
Let someone see this. Yeah.
All right. Other news.
Myers Leonard. Whoops.

Uh-oh. Jimbo of the Century.
Yikes. This is...
I'm actually shocked. You know what? I'm shocked this doesn't happen more often.
What did he do, Big Cat? So he used... He dropped a K-bomb, a slur, a Jewish slur on a live stream of Warzone.
Yep. And, uh, yeah, I, it was, it was actually crazy because you can see you, uh, you see it happen.
You see him almost see like, Oh, that was probably wrong. And then like five minutes later, he takes a phone call and then gets off the streams.
Like, I got to go. My wife needs me.
No dude. You just, you just fucked yourself over.
Yeah. It was,-bomb, too.
Very hard. There was a wind-up for it.
He took, like, a breath. I liken it to, this is a deep cut, but the line that Uncle Cracker delivers in Cowboy by Kid Rock, the smash hit, where he takes a big breath and goes, but now I'm just blunt.
Like, he winded up for that. He was ready to go.
If I could put it in Warzone terms, if he was dropping bombs, he wasn't using an RPG. He was using a Cigna.
There you go. Hank will get that.
He uses that word. That came out pretty...
It was Papa John-esque. Papa John has spent 20 months trying to get the N-word out of his vocabulary.
Way to take my hot seat, big cat. Well, I mean, it's appropriate for this, is it not? It it's very similar like myers leonard will need 20 months to get the k-word out of his uh lingo because that definitely was effortless yes it's not something that if you use the k-word then you use it all the time it's not something that you that you sprinkle into a conversation occasionally that wasn't the first time he was like, oh, I'm going to try this new word out on Warzone.

Right.

He probably says it while he's eating breakfast.

Yeah.

Passing that salt.

Yeah.

K-word.

It's a very casual thing for him, obviously. I actually don't know anybody that you...

I don't think I've ever been in a room when somebody's dropped a K-bomb.

Have you been in a room when someone drops the N-bomb?

Yes.

Ooh.

Yes, I have.

Several times.

By yourself? No, no. oh okay definitely not definitely not but but you know i'm saying like i don't know anybody that uses that it's weird that it was so casual for him to just like bring it up you know he uses it very often very often it's something that he's happy to use the general rule of, if you're going to insult any sort of nationality

or any sort of ethnic group,

just stick to us Italians,

Irish, Scandinavians.

I don't know if you can even

do that anymore, though.

The real question is just, you know,

what style is going to go

for his apology video?

Yeah.

Him and his wife.

Notes app.

Notes app.

100% notes app.

I don't know, but like when you're...

You put a little yarmulke on his dog?

Like, my dog's Jewish?

He considers himself a streamer, so I feel like he's going to have to do some type of, like, apology YouTube video, like, coming clean. And that's really the question.
Nine reasons why you shouldn't say the K-bomb. And then the YouTube thumbnail is going to be him with, like, his hands on his cheeks, with his mouth open wide.
Do you think he's going to go the route, like, I didn't even realize anyone was watching, which isn't an apology? Because that's the crazy thing about 2021 and people streaming and they let their guard down because they're streaming and they don't realize that people are watching. And if you play video games for, I don't know, if he plays video games, it's the All-Star break, so he's playing video games for six hours a day.
He then slips into the conversational words that he uses in private. Yeah.
Well, he's going to have to do something maybe with the team or he'd actually know what he's going to do. He's absolutely going to put out like an Instagram post that has his words, like a notes app, but with a picture in the background and the words will be like cursive and it'll be like really fancily done, Photoshopped.
But he's going to have to do something with the team because, correct me if I'm wrong, but there are probably a few Jewish people who are Miami Heat fans. Yes, I would say so.
Jake, can you confirm? Yeah. There's probably Jewish people who are fans of every team.
There's probably one in this room. Yeah, there we go.
Oh, yeah. Are you, I mean, he's got to go.
But he's also got to stay because every word you say, every word you send a hot mic matters. Yeah, that's true.
If he had spelled it out, if he had said this fucking care. It doesn't.
Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't help, too, that he's got a very memorable name because not a lot of people named Myers.
No, they really. And the hair doesn't help at all.
I can recognize him. All right.
So Leonard Myers was definitely tons of Leonard Myers. Yeah.
He's definitely going to dye his hair back to brown. Has to.
You can't continue on. It's already been done.
Yeah, that's step one. He's probably going to have his wife next to him if he does the video because she was involved in it too when she called him.
I don't think that was his wife who called him. But he's going to be like, honey, come out here.
You thought that was his wife? That's what he said, right? Yeah, but that wasn't his wife. That was his agent being like, hey, dude, you just fucked your career.
He's going to have to continue with that lie, and so he'll have his wife in the background. It's going to be the Myers Leonard apology tour is going to be one for the record books.
Maybe a, what is it, there's a deep drive into left field? Yeah, he's going to have to do something like that. Go to Puerto Rico for a summer.
Maybe he can put someone on the back of his jersey or something. We can say Billy.
You know those trucks near Madison Square Garden that are like get bot mitzvahed today? Yeah. Is he going to convert? You think so? That would be hilarious.
That would be very hilarious. But probably wouldn't happen.
Yeah. Probably not.
I'd say no not gonna happen pr like little pr 101 convert okay here's here's what you have to do get circumcised on air on air yeah on your stream on your stream yeah so no other way figured it out uh how has he been playing this year poorly poorly i don't think he's played a lot i i looked up his stats because i saw he averaged six points a game for his career, but this year he's down to like three points a game. Yeah, he hasn't been playing for a while, too.
I think he's been injured. Oh, yeah.
C.M. Myers, Tiggity's, I mean, I don't feel bad for him.
Again, if it had felt like that was a stretch for him to say that, but he really did, it did feel like he said that a lot. That's the thing is, like't understand how it could be a stretch to like...
Oops, that one

slipped. Yeah.
Who amongst

us hasn't done that? Anything else? We've got

conference tournaments. The Barstool

Sportsbook app will be live in Illinois

starting on Thursday

at noon, so get ready for that.

Can't bet on

Illinois in Illinois,

but can bet everything else.

Jake, did you have any conference tournament teams that you thought were going to win? I think the popular pick this week is going to be UConn and the Big East. Yeah, I love that UConn's back.
They're the three-seed Villanova. Lost their best player, unfortunately, last week, Connor Gillespie.
Did you know that there was another Archie Diakono? Yeah. That's crazy.
They are the Plumleys of Villanova. I was fully...

I'm like the Duncans of Vermont. I don't know if you tweeted this

or you retweeted someone.

What the fuck?

If you retweeted someone that said this, but

I always thought his name was Archie

Diakono. Yeah, no, his name's Ryan.

That's crazy. Just get ready.

If UConn goes on a run, James

Booknight's the guy to look out for. Kemba

Walker should have to appear.

And Creighton's been dealing with some off-the-court issues, too. Oh, what happened there? He's back.
They reinstated him. I'm not going to get into it.
He went on a Warzone live stream? Yeah, he used the PLANTA. So you have the one seed without their best player.
You have the two seed dealing with some issues in UConn. Yeah.
Coach Hurley. Okay.
I mean, I love Danny Hurley. I think AOC is going to show out.
Danny always does well at MSG. That's true.
It's her hometown. I love Danny Hurley.
Duke is currently playing with no buy in the ACC. By the time this podcast is out, the season could be over.
Probably not. BC is awful.
Probably not, but I'll just say that if Duke does lose tonight, Coach K should consider

lighting himself on fire like a Buddhist monk

on the sideline. He should retire.

Has won four games this year and they fired their coach

two weeks ago. He should retire then.

If Coach K loses his game, Hank, retire?

No. Come on.
Hank, you have

a, I believe, a 10-2

lead right now. Let's go.

What's that? The game's on. Oh, it's on.
I think it's more than that. It's right in front of us.
I hope it's more than that. 10-2 lead right now.
Let's go. What's that? Most teams just lead in basketball.

The game's on.

Oh, it's on.

I think it's more than that.

It's right in front of us.

I hope it's more than that.

10-6.

There we go.

Excuse me.

Okay, so it's...

BC.

Wow.

Don't let him get hot.

4-0 run.

This to me is...

This week is how you separate

the casuals from the real fans.

You should get hyped

for Conference Championship Week.

I think Conference Championship Week

oftentimes is better than the actual tournament. Like, I like the tournament more because it's just everything about it, but there are more games on Thursday and Friday at conference tournament week than there are in the tournament.
Plus, I think it helps that you know that it's not going to be the last game of the season. It's wall-to-wall action.
It's not final. It's not like the end of the road, whereas the NCAA tournament, that's always looming in the back of your head.
Like, well, I'm not going to see that team anymore. And you also get the scrub teams that have no, like, the only way they get in the tournament is they somehow finish the run, which Duke will do.
The Jerry McNamara. Thursday, Friday, Saturday are those three days, and they're the best.
They're the fucking best. This is the best time of year.
This is March. We're going to have John Rothstein on on Monday.
Very excited about that. and they're the best.
They're the fucking best. This is the best time of year.
This is March. We have John Rothstein on on Monday.
Very excited about that. And they should have on Wednesday.
They should have to get people ready for this fucking ridiculous NCAA tournament. Yeah, you're mad.
You're big mad, Hank. They should have done it this weekend as well.
What do you mean? Like they should have done it Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Oh, to get our bodies ready for it.

I had to break it to Hank that the Sweet 16 is Saturday and Sunday. And he was very upset.
It's Monday, Tuesday. It's the Monday, Tuesday that's upsetting.
Right, but there's no Thursday, Friday on the second week. That's awful.
Yeah. Right.
That's terrible. I had to reschedule my vasectomy again this year.
Yeah. They are making us quit more cold turkey than they ever have going Monday, full action to Tuesday, no action.
Yeah. It's going to be crazy.
It's going to be bad. Jonesing.
This is when we need Mac football, spring Mac football. Just throw out a game on a Tuesday.
They should put some FCS games during the week. Is the CBI happening this year? I love those tournaments.
I don't think so. Those tournaments are crazy.
The NIT is happening with 16 teams in Dallas. I think I told this story, but the moment I realized that I probably am not cut out for the real world was I was taking a GMAT class to take the GMAT for business school, and I did so poorly on it because all I was doing was sitting in the back of the class following the CBI and the NIT.
It was like Oregon State was playing. CBI is still up in the air.
Yeah. And I was like, you know what? This probably isn't for me.
Which one was the tournament that had the golden pineapple? Is it the CIT? Yeah, CIT. That was the one that was even worse than the CBI, right? And is two games right isn't it they play it's something so weird and awesome so yeah that's do you guys remember way way back in the day right when text message technology first started to come out this is back in like 2001 2002 i signed up for text alerts for it was like the upset alert from the cbs sports, whatever it was called.
And they would text me in class if there was an NCAA term in upset and progress. And by the time I would get the text, I would turn on the game and the game would have been over for five minutes already.
Yes. It took that long to get over.
Very low. Daytona Beach, Florida, seven hours ago.
Hell yes. All right, so I'll be betting on that.
That will be great. Yeah, those are I have to look up the year in the game.
I think it was Oregon State. I can't remember who they were playing and it was so bad that I was following that.
So yeah, that was a lesson. If you're going to be bad at something, be so good at being bad at it that you make a career out of it.
Right. And just realize that you don't have the aptitude or the you know uh ability to to take tests anymore yeah or be a serious person be a real human being in this world i learned that and that was it we're anti-standardized tests on this podcast dude could you imagine taking a standardized test right now no no i should probably do that do a scantron get your number two? We should probably take like a, not even, because you know, some people are like, oh, we did the fantasy football, like ACT or SAT.
No, I think we should take, like at some point this summer, we should take like a ninth grade history class test. The SSAT.
You know, something that's so- That's the Myers-Linered version. Like an eighth grade math class Test SSAT They'd make you take it in high school Okay and the Myers Leonard version Is that the one where now if you get like a 1600 That's really just an F That's the SSAT Yeah they changed all the scores It's basically like when we did our 3 point contest And made every three pointer a thousand points and we have the record or like what football does when you score one point yeah seven yeah um all right let's get to our hot seat cool throne the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices stop searching all over google for your next tee time start searching multiple courses in your area from one app it's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online.
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who owns a bank in Alabama and so whenever he needs money he goes through Bear and that's how they like launder and like get the money to pay the players. That to me sounds like bad operational security.
If you're Nick Saban and you have to have like a secret bag man, you gotta do better than Bear Bryant Jr. who owns his own bank.
Yeah. That's a little too on the nose.
Although that is kind of untouchable in Alabama. Right.
Like no one's gonna go after that. And like how do you...
in Birmingham. Right.
And if you own a bank, it must be super easy to move money around. I'm going to go ahead and – now, I do think everyone cheats.
People find out that Alabama and Georgia are cheating and paying players. It's probably not even a real bank.
They must be fucked. It's probably just a building that has a lot of cash in it.
And then it looks like a bank, but when you drive through, you get a special card from Nick Saban that you put in the machine. They're like, here you go.
Here's your payment. Everything I thought is a lie.
I know. They paid Georgia players $90,000 to $150,000 to sign with them.
Unbelievable. This is also the coach, by the way, if you don't remember two days, he invited his mistress to a high school game with his wife in attendance as well on reality television.
This guy's a gem. I mean, he also got fired for something.
Yeah, no, his rap sheet is absolutely crazy. So there is a chance that this is like, who knows? Wait for him to stay in the headlines, yeah.
But, yeah, that was just heartbreaking stuff. My entire worldview on college football has changed.

Then my cool throw-in, I have a couple.

First one is Avatar.

Oh, is it coming out in like 2032?

No.

Well, they're supposed to make like 10 sequels.

This is a crazy move by James Cameron, though.

He's re-releasing Avatar in China on Friday in an attempt to reclaim the highest-grossing movie ever.

So if they just make $7.4 million more, then they get to up themselves over Avengers Endgame, which apparently you can do. That's cheating.
Remember when people got depressed after Avatar because it wasn't the real world? Oh, yeah, I remember that. They wanted to be in that world.
That was the most blatant publicity stunt ever that the studio leaked. It's like people are killing themselves because the world's not Avatar.

Yeah, because there can't be these tall blue people running around and sucking off a tree of life.

Can't James Cameron just rent out a movie theater and play Avatar and sell one ticket for $7.5 million to himself?

That would be smart, yeah.

That's what I would do.

Yeah.

Although he probably would make more than that releasing it in China, right?

Yeah, probably. Right.
Then my other cool thorn is Cocaine Bears. Hmm? Hmm.
I don't follow. This is a tweet I saw earlier.
Just a movie, a must-see. I'm already slapping a must-see on it.
It says, Elizabeth Banks is to direct a bear-centric thriller, Cocaine Bear, for Universal. The film is based on true events from 1985 175 pound bear accidentally consumed over 70 pounds of cocaine that was dropped from a plane by a smuggler the exact details of the film are under wraps are you sure that this is about cocaine because there's an actual story that don't ask me how i got this far down into the into the rabbit hole but well you can say it's for work now there's a There's a bear in Washington, the state of Washington, that drank like 70 beers that were left behind at a campsite.
And the name of the... It drank certain types of beer and didn't drink like the Bush Light.
The only beer that it drank was called Cocaine. Cocaine.
Oh. So it looks like cocaine.
But this is a different bear. Maybe that's the sequel? No, this bear is real.
I talked about this bear on my first deep dive. Oh.
Yeah, it's a real bear. So what happened? A drug smuggler.
No, but what happened to the bear? I heard what Hank said. He had a great time.
Well, he got very high, then he got very low. He just listened to some EDM and talked a lot? He died.
Oh. Just grinded his teeth down.
Yeah. At one point.
Hopefully they give it a better ending. Couldn't get his dick hard.
It'd also be a great 30 for 30 name for the Sam Hurd story. Yeah, that's true.
Although, yeah, I mean, it was a lot of cocaine that he got busted for. I think it was probably more than 70 pounds.
Yeah, it was a significant amount. A significant amount.
Is that it? That's it. Okay.
I mean, a two. Okay.
But you only had the one hot seat. Right.
Yeah. It was just a little asymmetrical.
I guess my hot seat's still racism because Papa John, he got his 18-month chip for not saying the N-word for the last year and a half. 20 months.
Oh, 20 months. 20 months.
Good for him. I like to think that he's got one of those apps that you use to track your sobriety where he just pushes a button.
He didn't say it today. This weekend must have been tough.
Papa John watching the All-Star game, if he could get through that, you can do anything, Papa John. He's one of the final like, we will know that racism is cured officially when Papa John gets his three-year chip.
He always looks so oily. Oh, he is.
He just looks like he uses olive oil for his hair product. Yeah.
I kind of appreciate that. He's his own pizza.
I think, did I tell you about the time I met him at the Super Bowl? This was back in San Francisco, I think. No, it was in Arizona, so it was before I worked for Barstool.
But I met him, and I took a picture next to him, and he was just standing next to me breathing. And it's the most off-putting thing ever to stand next to Papa John.
He breathes like this. I'm going to do an impression.
That's how he just walks around all the time. He's got, bread stuck in his throat yeah it was very jose canseco like yeah do you think they'll see before he took a dive yeah i was gonna make a joke but it's it's too borderline so i won't say it but it must be racist if like your three most famous products as an industry wait what was the joke i would it was more borderline than saying that papa john couldn't watch the NBA All-Star game? Yeah, I was going to say.
And putting it in everyone's head? No, well, a little bit. Yeah, because that was pretty on the line.
He doesn't probably, on the subs that he sells, only offers oil and not the second condiment. That's how much he is willing to stay away from that word at all costs.
Got it. Got it.
Yeah. Okay.
Anyways, my other hot seat is Top Shot. shot top shots on the hot seat there's other reasons why it's on on the hot seat that i don't really understand all i know is my caruso stock is uh we're nearing the moon we're in lunar orbit right now but uh rob gronkowski is making his own nfts nice which this is buddha ben yeaha Ben.
This is how you know that the bubble has not yet begun to burst.

When Rob Gronkowski gets in as an early adopter, he's probably just selling his memories. Yeah.
He's probably just like, I'll sell you this memory I have of a sweet night that I had in Scottsdale. He's probably just selling the number 69.
Like, if you NFT 69, right? Can't you sell it? Yeah. That's actually a great idea.
Yeah. I think that's what he's doing.
Probably. Someone will buy it.
I will. Yeah, I will personally buy it.
You got another one? No, just those two hot seats. And then my cool throne is chivalry.
Chivalry is on the cool throne. Because Burger King in the United Kingdom had a nice message for everybody on International Women's Day, which was yesterday.
They tweeted out, a woman's place is in the kitchen. And then they followed it up with reasons why we need to encourage more women to become chefs, because they're underrepresented, apparently, at the top-of-the-line chef levels.
But it was a choice. It was an interesting choice to start out International Women's Day.
They were doing the right thing. Shout-out to Burger King.
Shout-out to King. Would like to see a whole royal family of burgers built around it eventually, but you've just got the King for now and that's fine.
But it was one of those things where it's like you know what they were going for and you know that they had like a series of meetings leading up until that week and everybody was bought in. They're like, this is actually a great idea.
It's going to get a lot of attention. See, I like to imagine it was just a rogue person who was like, fuck International Women's Day.
And then they were like, quick, we got to think fast. What's our follow up? And that's what they did.
That would actually be brilliant. Yeah, it was a rogue intern who's like, I just want to tweet my terrible thoughts on International Women's Day.
Yeah, that would be the best handling of a PR crisis like that that you could ever imagine. And now, even if that didn't happen because they got blowback, because I think they probably could have done it a different way, they should just say that's what happened.
Yes. And just go with that.
Yeah, because then they get all the credit in the world for trying to spend it. We thought fast.
I like that. Or just take my advice and build an entire royal family around it so it's not just the king.
Give him an old stodgy queen that hates the new woke Papa John. That's what I would like to see.
Yeah, I mean, king and queen, or there is no king. Billy, can you stop breathing the mic real quick? It's not Billy's fault, people.
It actually is not Billy's fault. He's got a deviated septum.
He's got a deviated septum. Buckled septum.
But I was just noticing it. But the king, or not the king, but Philip, whatever his name is.
I still think that if you fuck the queen, you're the king. I totally agree.
It feels like they're getting dragged every single... But you know what? What happens is we wake up because of time zones.
You miss all the English... England reacted to it.
There was all the Good Morning Britain clips, but by the time we woke up, it was already gone. Yeah, it's like...
I hate that. When I wake up in the morning, everybody's pissed off at Piers Morgan for something.
Like, what did he do? Oh, seven hours ago? Okay, well, that's 10 years ago. No one cares anymore.
Right, exactly. All right, my hot seat is Peter King because he said in his, whatever his column's called now, that the Bears are screwed in the quarterback department, barring a miracle.
I'm just saying, Peter, you're fucking screwed, dude, because I still got interest running on your burgers. So just want to remind you.
We should just call him the Hamburglar on this podcast. Yeah.
And we should just keep a tally of how much money he owes me. You know what? Imagine if we had used that money for Bitcoin.
Be through the roof. Add it to the tab.
I heard that inflation was a thing that was happening. It is.
It is happening. So're sure.
We better get paid. My cool throne is anyone who was desperate for more Manning content because Eli Manning now has a show on ESPN Plus too.
Great. What's it called? Eli's Place.
Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. Eli's, yeah.
I mean, Peyton's Place is a thing. Cooper has his thing on Fox.
Now Eli has a show. It's great.
I love this. All the Mannings.
Dude, one Manning just go full in and become like a commentator on Monday Night Football. Yeah, they're kind of teasing us a little bit, aren't they? It's bullshit.
I've seen some of the Peyton Manning stuff, and he's pretty good. No, he's funny.
The Peyton's Place of stuff is funny. I've laughed at it, and this is going to make me sound stupid, but I usually learn something, and it makes me feel good after I watch it.
I want more Peyton Manning. So he's doing the right thing, I guess, keeping us at arm's length.
And now Eli's like, hey, can I get my own show too? He's getting a spin-off, essentially. We're doing a spin-off for Eli, where he's going to walk us through all his fake memorabilia that he sells.
Be like, this is going to appreciate value because I've got my son throwing my helmets down the stairs every four hours. But it's, yeah, we need more Manning stuff, so we have it.
Billy? My hot seat was the SEC, the royal family, but now the Bears. Kyle Long will be returning to the NFL.
Not to the Bears. But that's why they're on the hot seat because he doesn't want to go back to them.
Well, yeah. Yeah, that's fair.
So Bears on the hot seat. I don't even think they're on the hot seat.
I think that's actually just smart for Kyle to not want to be on the Bears. It's very smart, and it's not a good look for the Bears.
I mean, what has been a good look? I don't think it's a good or bad look. I think it's just the Bears.
Yeah, it's like Gronk going to the Bucs. I don't think it's necessarily a bad look, but it's just he's doing what he wants to do.
But Kyle's been very vocal. He's not a fan of Matt Nagy.
Kyle's not a fan of Matt Nagy. He's been very clear about that.
So it was never even in like, it was never even in my, the realm of possibilities for him to go back to the Bears. I think Kyle has firmly entered the realm of he's a guy that we're rooting for to get a ring no matter what team he ends up on.
Correct. Or another Pro Bowl.
Add another Pro Bowl to it. Okay.
My cool throne is GameStop. GameStop is rallying again.
Yes. Getting back up there and going pretty crazy.
I found that most of my investing success comes just from stocks that I forget to sell. So I forgot to sell GameStop.
I've got diamond strong hands. These things are rock hard.
It shot up in the last week 70%, 100%, something like that. Just keep going to the moon.

All I know is that between that and my doge, I am, again, lunar orbit.

It's pretty sick.

Yeah.

Let us know when we're on the moon.

Cool throne mother nature, a hawk killed one of my hens.

That is all.

Do you want to talk about that?

No.

Now, is this a situation similar to your frog where we have to ask what?

No, I woke up this morning and a hawk killed a frog, my chicken got fucked to death. What a crazy night that was.
Why are there all these feathers in my bed? I woke up this morning and there's a hawk that uses the same kind of condoms I do. A hawk swooped down and got one of my hens.
Did you watch it? Did your hen crawl under your ass for warmth? Like Christopher? Oh, man. Cosette? Billy, you sat on it.
I'm serious. I'm serious.
Are you okay? Did you see it happen? No, I didn't see it happen. I just saw the feathers.
So you were being negligent? Yeah. Honestly, it was because I didn't let my dog out.
Yeah, I was going to say, what's the point of having a dog if you can't protect the hens? Well, sometimes the dog doesn't do well with the chickens. What does that mean? It just depends on the morning.
What does that mean? Sometimes he'll go after the chickens. Has he killed a chicken? No, he's not killed a chicken.
Has he attempted to kill a chicken? No, he's barked at a chicken, never tried to kill a chicken. Okay.
He's a very well-behaved dog. Okay.
So. Didn't he shit in the office like six times? That was, no, he was a puppy, and I was coming into the studio, and I had a lot to handle.
I said, Spider, can you please watch my puppy while I record? And he was a puppy inside. So it ate the entire chicken? It flew away with it? One time.
Oh, yeah, it ripped it up. Hawks attack from the sky, and then they hit on the ground.
I don't know how birds work. No, but like falcons will swoop and hit things out of the air.
Air to air. Okay.
Hunting. So your chicken wasn't flying around 30 feet in the air is what you're telling me.
No. Okay.
Because I snipped its wings. Yeah.
Oh, that's not. No, that's very loud.
Yeah. And you also cut your dog's tail, right? And ears.
No, no, no. I did not crop my dog's ears at all.
you know something's definitely legal when billy says it's very allowed it's very loud no it's it's people do it um all right let's get to our interview we got paul bissonette uh before we do that pft you had a quick word from our friends at raycon raycon yeah i don't know about you big cat but i feel like i'm always looking at a screen i don't even i don't even check my screen report anymore because it not good. Nothing good has ever come from looking at that report that your computer sends you, that your phone sends you.
But I look at my screen now more than ever, and whether you're an avid news watcher or if you're in serious need of a distraction, unplugging yourself is easier said than done. So one of my favorite ways to rest my eyes and still get the content that I'm itching for, put in my Raycon wireless earbuds and I listened to something great.
What have you been listening to? Anything good? I've been getting, I was listening to Queens of Stone Age today because I went back into Iron Paradise. I'm back in the gym.
There you go. I got heavy into Super Tramp this weekend.
Very underrated band. Boston's put out a new single.
Been listening to that on repeat. Sounds crystal clear.
Sounds awesome on my Raycon wireless earbuds. They're amazing.
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15% off at buyraycon.com slash take. Here he is, BizNasty.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our best friends in the entire world. It is Paul Bissonette, also known as Paul Mistenette.
How bad was that commercial? Oh, it was great. Are you kidding me? Time for Harder Shot.
My only complaint is that they don't play it enough. Yes.
Yeah, I should have won an Emmy or whatever. That's the worst part of the commercials during the NHL playoffs.
They legit recycle four commercials. So, like, everybody hates your guts by the end of the first round.
Right. Now, we had Witt on, and Witt gave us a little sneak peek behind the scenes and said that you wrote that line about yourself.
DePaul missed in that. Is that true? Somebody had said it to me before, and, like, when they I was like okay it's kind of funny that is fine I mean spitting spitting hot fire and then you know all of a sudden we went there I think there was a bit of a disconnect to like they were kind of like you know say say what you would say on the podcast and we're like yeah that ain't gonna fucking fly on NBC see you buddy like I talk about chicks eating my hoop like you know if you got I mean more if you guys want not anymore how many See you, buddy.
I talk about chicks eating my hoop.

If you guys want... Not anymore.
How many kills you got, Whit?

No, not anymore. So, Biz,

it's good to have you in studio.

Great to see your face. Great seeing you guys.

Want to talk a little hockey? And then we have some important

business at the end. Well, fucking PFT was

all over me about this Tom Wilson hit,

Crying Me a River. Listen, it

sucks for everybody involved. I'm sure Tom Wilson

doesn't want to be sussy at seven games.

I'm sure he doesn't want to forfeit over $300K in salary. That's a kick in the dick.
And hockey players don't get paid a lot. And then Carlo was banged up.
He had to go to the hospital. You don't want to see guys getting up in the hospital.
So how much of that hit was kind of in retrospect, like the hit itself was, yeah, by the letter of the law the law not clean I'll say that it wasn't clean but would do you think he would have gotten anywhere near seven games if the outcome of the hit wasn't you know a trip to the hospital and all that no I mean you know they obviously get a little bit of time afterward to absorb like what happened to the guy like obviously a trip to the hospital ain't going to be good especially for Tom Wilson listen he plays on the edge it has benefited him greatly because he is a fear type of player out there where everybody's got their head in a swivel um he plays on that line where like I I can't really defend what he did because like I played in an era where I think that that would have flown and it was starting to get weeded out just because of like everything they were talking about with the headshots and they're're, hey, player safety here. Let's try to eliminate that.
So just for the new style of game, you just can't do it. Now, I'm an old school type of guy.
I would have probably got up and tried to take a run at him and fucking grabbed him. Well, you wouldn't have been on the ice.
That's a fact. Right.
In an imaginary land, I would have been. From what I i understand the problem is he does play on the edge he is uh had a bunch of bad hits but he doesn't seem like a bad guy whereas like a rafi torres is just a scumbag bad guy oh come on okay that's okay one of the best teammates i ever had yeah he had tough to defend especially the last one when he was in san jose and i think he was already on his last straw.
Right. And it was in preseason and he legit took a guy's jaw off.
Right. I think you can go YouTube it.
And I think he got ended up getting like 41 games. I think at least that's a sussy and a half.
That's a sussy and a half. That's a double sussy.
But that's it. Wouldn't you say triple sussy?.
Tom Wilson, it seems like guys respect him, but he does play on the edge. I think that guys on his own team love having him on their team.
I think that most other teams, I mean, they're supposed to hate him. And that's what is slowly fading away from the game, in my opinion, is that genuine hate.
You're seeing more of it this year, especially maybe in the North Division, in the NHL, just because they're kind of stuck in their own eight to seven-team division right now. So it's a fucking guillotine, bloodbath, lower the cage, undertaker out of his casket type shit.
Hell in the cell. Hell in the cell, baby.
So what happens if you're one of those teams in the North and you have an Austin Matthews or you've got a Connor McDavid, you've got a young star that you need to protect? There's always going to be a place in the game for a guy like Tom Wilson. Let's put it this way.
If Tom Wilson would have done what he did to Connor McDavid, he probably would have got a full year sussy. Whoa.
I think it's getting to the place where they've got to really protect those guys. Now, just as far as protecting the the stars i think that most teams who have guys like that have done a good job of surrounding them with with a little bit of meat as they say yeah like you look at very good teams like las vegas well they got revo there you look at um washington they got tom wilson who i think that i think if push came to shove you probably would fight Revo but even going towards Toronto they picked up Wayne Simmons in the offseason who can handle his own business they had Kyle Clifford there last year so I still see a very relevant position for for guys like the Ryan Reeves in the NHL because you know you look at any of these rosters that have made it to the finals the last how many every year.
They always seem to have a guy with them. One guy, yeah.
I saw Witt took back his comment. Can I hop in there? Just a prime example.
Tampa was having a hard time giving over the hump. They had Bogosian, Luke Shen, and Pat Maroon as big meaty guys to be able to handle that type of play if it ended up going there and it did a little bit yeah it doesn't even have to be i think your point is it doesn't have to be like the traditional goon it's got to be bigger guys who can handle it when need be distractions right distractions that's when we won the calder cup like we had our fourth line it was me josh what is that is that real thing that's that's when the hershey bears play against the uh wheeling nailers is that below or above like at west bank or reno arena or reno uh smoke another one uh with with kb swag dropping the puck at center ice with moon dog doing laps i love it it's nick and kb on each other's shoulders skating as one of the yeah uh-huh wait so it's kind of like in the outfit that was not semi-pro.
What was the figure skating movie? Oh, Ways of Glory. Wait, so finish the Calder Cup when you won the Calder Cup.
Sorry. We all remember that.
It's a real thing. If you're one of the handful of people that haven't seen this Calder Cup.
In Manchester. Yeah.
In Match Vegas, as they call it. Not far from Boston.
I love whenever a city is the worst ever. Yeah, there's like, let's just add Vegas on it.
Stark Vegas? Yeah, there was one club, and during our time there, I believe somebody got stabbed at it. And so nobody was going.
Yeah, so it was a bit of a rough scene in Match Vegas. So survival of the fittest.
Who's this, Hank? Hank, with a haircut. Yeah, don't mind us.
Oh haircut. Did you shave, too? Debut it on air, live.
Ooh, nice. Pretty good.
Yeah. It's looking really good.
Oh, nice. Shave the beard.
When do you deploy to basic training? Do we still do fresh cuts? I think it's a nice haircut, Hank. I'm not going to make fun of him for it.
What's up, Hank? This is quite a look you all have. Well, he just put this on me.
We all look Hank. I got sunburned at the Pink Whitney Cup today.
I'm struggling. Alright, so Witt did take back his comment.
He said when he was on two weeks ago, he said the Blackhawks have no chance to make the playoffs. No, but probably the most surprising team, and especially after they got off to that dogshit start, that new goalie, can't even pronounce his name, he's playing well and yeah they just they're just finding ways to win like i mean they just hung around with tampa bay uh the last last three games they played a triple header hell yeah a little hell and sell action but mind you they were up three nothing and wit sends out the tweet saying like you know forgive me chicago and then he completely mushed the hawks six unanswered by the tampa bay lightning finish that one.
So that's Ryan Whitney. Thanks so much.
Hey, I actually have a real hockey question. What the hell's up with the Buffalo Sabres? That's, um...
That seems like a situation where they've been bad for a really long time, and they have Jack Eichel, and they still aren't good. It's like they have too much juju going for the Buffalo Bills, and they sucked it all out of the Sabres.
Kind of like the Monstars in Space Jam. Well, it happens when they don't have four teams in a city because they don't really know how to spread the love.
Tampa's just stealing all the love. Yeah, it's true.
Tampa's buzzing. But seriously, are they ever going to be good? It's just one of those organizations right now that seem a little bit cursed, and I would imagine that it's going to have to get a lot worse before it even gets better, and that's saying a lot.
Yeah, I feel bad for Jack because, I mean, he's a good player, and sometimes when there's, I guess, not enough weapons around, it gets a little bit stressful and it's hard to carry the load. And I'm not saying it's just, you know, there guys.
Sam Reinhardt's had a great start to the season this year. Well, it could have been that good.
They're still too good to get better. They have to get worse.
No, they're really bad. Yeah, but they're still too good to get better.
They have to get worse to get better is what he's saying. They're broken.
They're a broken organization? Yeah, I mean, yeah, they need to fix a lot of problems. Like, it's not good.
I don't know how else to summarize it without beating a dead horse here. I genuinely feel bad for this organization because it ultimately comes down to the fans.
And we know they're just as crazy as Bill's Mafia. And they've been waiting a long time since to repay the rest of the teams in the league for the foot in the crease.
So the new schedule that's out this year, you see teams playing almost like baseball type series against other teams where they play like back to back. What is different about playing a team like twice in a row? Would you prefer to play the same team two times in a row, three times over the course of a week? Or do you like cycling around and skipping around through the schedule? I think that it would be very wise just from a hockey-related revenue standpoint as far as not burning fuel and wasting all this time hopping around places.
And especially for teams in the West who have to travel so much, go to a place, play two games. I think, I mean, Coyotes played the St.
Louis Blues seven times in a row this season. That's pretty fucking awesome.
I mean, it was a seven-game series. Yeah, it created so much hate.
That's to the extreme, and it made for a fun series. It actually went to seven.
I think that they should at least be playing two games, and Jonathan Taves was a guy who's been harping on this for a while, and normally when it's a guy of that stature saying it, it gains a little bit more steam. But I 100% think they should adapt it, especially within teams of your own division.
Like if you're going to California, yeah, go play the Kings for two, go play Anaheim for two, and go play San Jose for two and come home. Well, it's like, you know, basketball and hockey, they don't play the same schedule as baseball, 162.
But it's half of that. Why not just when you go play two? Right.
Like no one complains about a baseball series because it's just something we're used to. Yeah.
It would be cool if there was a hockey series. You got to play two games.
And sometimes you'll play like a back-to-back while you'll play in Edmonton and then you'll travel to Vancouver that night and then you're like playing the next day where it's like why couldn't we just have banged out a back-to-back in edmonton saved ourselves the cost of fuel the all the other green getting up going green yeah business green plan i like this business green deal i think that they are going to adapt it moving forward sometimes it just takes a situation like this to force the hand where i think they're seeing enough positive feedback from it including the the north division which you know i think it was a experiment for one year. I think it's going to eventually go back to all being good.
It does seem like we're segregating the Canadian teams a little bit. Well, they're doing that because of the border situation.
I totally get that, but I don't understand why it took hockey so long to get to this point where they're doing series, because maybe you can tell me a downside, but if you get teams playing against each other twice in a row, there are these little mini storylines that build up. It generates more interest in those games.
Like you said, you save on travel costs. You get to unpack your suitcase in a town occasionally.
I don't know. Yeah, you might get to hit up the Cactus Club waitress that you did the night before in Edmonton or Calgary.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you go on a day date with the person that you made the night. Yeah, maybe a little sober sex.
It'll make for a better relationship because maybe the follow-up day you gain a little bit closer. You know, instead of changing it up the next night on the road, you're snuggle fast by night two.
Do you like the Canadian division because it guarantees that a Canadian team gets in the Final Four, which, like, you know, they haven't won a cup in what? How many? Probably older than Billy. Yeah, definitely.

I think it was what, 93, 92?

I think that it's been really good for this year.

Yeah, it's good to see Toronto have success

and Leafs Nation's buzzing.

You know, I mean, they still got to get past the first round.

I don't think they've done so in the last 15 or 16 years.

So this is a starving fan base

that is seeing a better opportunity to, yes, get out. And they don't have to try to get through Boston.
Right. So is this the Leafs' year? I said on the podcast at the beginning of the year, I truly believe with the pickups that they made and adding Joe Thornton's experience to maybe calm the young guys down in a sense of deflecting media and keeping it more positive during stressful times, yes, I think that they're going to win the Stanley Cup.
I'm all on board. They're my Canadian team.
Are we allowed to have a Canadian team? You can do whatever you want. I feel like you should as Americans.
As the number one sports podcast, you could probably do whatever the fuck you guys want. Okay.
Well, Toronto, the Maple Leafs, the Leafs are my Canadian team. I do want to see them.
If it's not going to be the Caps, I'm absolutely rooting for them to win it all. I think they're a fun team.
Who's your Canadian team, Big Cat? Probably the Flames. I like that.
I like the stadium. So they just, you know that they just picked up Daryl Sutter, right? As the new coach.
They canned their coach mid-season here. Okay.
Of Kings fans. So Daryl Sutter is a hard-nosed coach.
We actually just got his brother on. There was six brothers who ended up playing in the NHL.
Yeah, they're an all-time hockey family yeah so daryl sutter was off for six years ended up coaching in san jose with a guy named dean lombardi where after six years of him just completely not coaching dean lombardi hired him uh as the la coach midway through the season and then he ended up winning two cups with with la yes so he's been on the shelf for another three years and calgary's been underperform, so they end up hiring him, but he's a hard, hard-nosed goalie. That series in, I want to say it was 2014, the Western Conference Finals, when the Kings scored on a Game 7 overtime goalie at the United Center.
Remember that? That sucked. Was it? It was 14, yeah.
Yeah, they won in six. They beat...
No, no. Are no are you sure the la kings when they beat who then when they beat new york or yo i'm talking about in the western conference finals yes they beat new york in the cup yeah who did they beat oh i'm saying they scored a game-winning goal uh overtime game seven goal at the united center yeah that was an insane series yeah sucked the air out of that was a kick in the dick too um yeah he's i i like the hard i feel like they pass i feel like hockey passes around the hard nose coach guys like it's like oh towards this career to whip everyone in shape and then in three years everyone's gonna hate his guts and they're gonna have to go somewhere else yeah he's lasted quite a long time in columbus based on his shelf life as usual yeah yeah right like he's he's he's expired He's expired milk at this point.
You guys should do a draft list of who the hardest-nosed coaches are. Who else? Give us some more guys.
In the NHL right now? I mean, Babcock, kind of. Well, yeah, but he kind of got canceled for being a little too hard.
He was playing mind games. Right, right.
He took hard-nosed to an extreme level. Yeah, he was strapping guys up to lie detector tests in the room.
Really? Yeah, nipple clamps. You know when saving Silverman when they're...
And the guy lights up. Yeah, it's like that.
I could actually see a hockey coach doing that, getting a polygraph. Like, he doesn't know how to read it, but he pretends that he does.
So it's those two... Would you put Trotz up there? No, Trotz is a good dude dude he's just very system oriented so laviolette uh i think he's i think he's more of a player's coach than a hard-nosed coach although uh you guys have talked probably about dry island on here haven't you dry island so dry island was something um so during the philadelphia flyers during some of their peak years there when they had mike richards and jeff carter and then chris pr Pronger came on board I think that they were known at the time as a bit of a party team where they like to have a fucking good time and get after it so I the coach ended up proposing but not consulting that the leadership group about this dry island so it's like everybody who wants to stop boozing at a point in the season till till i believe the end of the year was going to join dry island so you would go write your name on the board so a few guys at the leadership group like mike richards and jeff carter they were like no like richards is a throwback old school player so he's like no i'm going out and i'm battling for 60 minutes and i'm grabbing a fucking beer after the game because he never got on dry island so he never he never joined Dry Island.
I don't think, I'm not sure if Jeff Carter did or not, but it was just, I think it was part of the respect factor, the fact that he didn't consult them that he was going to do it, which rubbed them the wrong way a little bit too. And ultimately, I don't want to say this is the final straw, but it ultimately, Jeff Carter ended up getting traded in the offseason at Columbus.
Mike Richards ended up getting sent off to L.A. while Jeff Carter ended up in Los Angeles with him because he was over Columbus in about six weeks, and they got two cups together.
So that's like alcohol persecution. It was like the prohibition in the Flyers locker room.
That's crazy. If your coach says, like, we're going're gonna form dry island it's totally voluntary if you want to sign up for this it's like it was like this it's voluntary but if you're not on it right dum dum dum yeah you're the du islanders is the other group yeah i wonder if i wonder if anyone took themselves off dry island like went and erased themselves yeah hey are we gonna are we gonna applaud the du islanders there No i'm curious i'm actually curious about dry island little clips snap what happens though if you're on dry island and you fall off the wagon fall off the motorboat whatever you call it like if you get caught having a beer well i think that that might have been part of the issue too where there were guys on dry island who were actually you know sneaking a few cocktails maybe they were going for a for piss on the team flight, and they were doing one of those mini Pink Whitney's on board.
Those weren't little plugs. Have a couple Crown and Cokes at Borelli's.
Buy some Pink Whitney's. Nice plug.
So wait, give me your final four. Give me the biz stone-cold lead pipe locks for the final four.
You haven't thought about this on your podcast it's just it's just hard early on because i feel like when teams peak a little bit too early it's it's a it's a negative thing uh i think that vegas it might be vegas's time they're getting very good goaltending from flower right now um they got a a wagon of a team up front they just get contributions deep down the lineup and they got a solid back end. They got a wagon of a team up front.
They just get contributions deep down the lineup, and they got a solid back end. They got a couple young bucks.
They got that Shea Theodore. So they're my team in the West.
Obviously, I love my Coyotes. I'm just trying to be realistic about this.
They're not in the playoffs, right? Are they going to make the playoffs? I think the Yotes are going to get that fourth spot in the West. So, you know, who knows? Maybe they can knock off the big boys.
I would probably have to say Tampa. I would say Toronto.
And who else should I pick? The Flyers? Yeah, let's go with Hazy Squad. Let's go with the Flyers.
Yeah. Why not? They're technically right now outside.
Looking in. 12-7-3.
Yeah, they're two points back. But it's also weird because everyone's got different games played.
Like, they've played two less games than the Penguins, the Capitals, and the Islanders. We've really dove into this hockey talk.
Yeah, let's transition here. Fighting talk.
Yeah. Well, I was going to transition to just say, how are you, Biz?

I'm doing good.

I'm doing good.

I'm growing up day by day, slowly.

Why are you laughing over there?

Hey, I was a late bloomer, man.

I was immature for a long time, and I'm trying to figure this thing out.

So you're no longer immature.

No, I'm still immature, but I'm ahead of Billy over here. That's true.
Yeah, that's not saying much. Billy's 22.
You're 36. 36, yeah.
But yeah, that is true. Wait, you're 36? Jesus.
He's in 1985. Wait, are you saying I look old or young? When's your birthday? 85, March 11th.
Coming up in a few days here. Oh, so you're not 36 yet.
No, I'm turning 36 in a few days. By the time this comes out, maybe I'm 36.
Wait, Big Cat's older than you?

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

So is PFT.

He's having a little midlife crisis.

And I've got a kid, and he's got...

PFT's got a little quarter-life crisis where he's pretending he's 28.

Yeah, things are great, man.

Very fortunate to be associated with Barstool.

By the way, I think we should plug the pink Whitney Cup that we had today,

not to try to drive. No, do it.

Do it. Plug it.
Go ahead. How's Jake?

Oh yeah, you called it, right? With Jake?

Jake is unbelievable.

He loves you. I love Jake.

He had the nicest things to say about you on the way

back. Hey, listen, I think

we talked about it and should we break it to him now,

Jake? Is he in here? No, he's not in here.

Oh, he's not? Well, I'll break it to you guys.

This room is not that big. You forgot what Jake looked like looked like no I thought he was hiding behind that monitor over there but uh he he's gonna be joining us now he's gonna be leaving you guys Jake would never that's not even a funny joke because Jake would never do that he's gonna become our and it's payment for Billy Colin Witt buddy okay so let's get to that so are you gonna fight Billy football and Rowdy? No, we were playing Tommy Sticks today at the paper.
He's too nice of a guy. He's too nice of a guy.
I tried to keep him away as best as I could. They're just too much alike.
Speaking of betrayal, I was going to say the chemistry between Billy Football and PFT on the coaching bench today was hot seat. Big cat, that's fine.
They can go off and do anything they want. We had a...
Reverse 69. The two 22-year-olds.
Reverse 69. We had a great rapport going.
He was part of my front office. I was the coach.
Billy was our general manager. We're not going to spoil what happened, but Billy and I had a great time coaching hockey today.
I love hockey. I'm so mad I played basketball growing up.
I think we should

put tux on the bottom of those boots

and see them out next year.

I will learn to skate to play in the cup

next year, 100%. How did you

get a tan today when you live in Arizona?

Because we were standing direct. Me and

Jake, we were buzzing, man.

That guy was so good. He was so good at remembering

all the names, and even when they threw him a curveball

where it was this random draft, so he had to figure out all the names beforehand. Talk about a professional.
He's very professional. That's what happens when you don't have any head trauma.
Zero. Yeah, he's the GOAT.
He was here late night. I think he's saying the fact if you don't have CTE, you're able to remember it.
If you don't have CTE, you'd be much more prepared. No, no, like just pulling names out from the back of your brain.
It was also Billy's way of casually reminding you that jake didn't play contact sports that's what he's really he's a big time hard oh you guys know him better than i know he tries to be all like oh jake's just a nerd because jake actually you know you probably have it well no grinnell does a good job for you guys but like you have people in your life who just constantly let you down, and then you have people who always come through. Jake always comes through.
Billy constantly lets me down. So he does think that he has reach on you, therefore he could take you.
When was the last time you were in a fight? That's the problem. Last time I was in a fight, I believe, was my last ever professional game, and I was like Bambi out there.
So actually so I I tore my what was I tore my right ACL halfway through the year ended up trying to come back because I knew that was going to be my last year at that point and I tried coming back one game I knew it wasn't stable enough so I took another month to like get it strong enough to wear a brace and then finish the season on didn't get well sure enough I come few games before playoffs. We're in San Jose, and I get hit from the side in the second period, and I feel my other one go.
And I go over to my trainer. I'm like, hey, I think I just tore my other ACL.
And he was like, no. And we went off after the second, and he moved it around.
He's like, yeah, you just tore your other one. You got two torn ACLs.
So I i was out but i knew it was my last game it was emotional the coach came in in the i i had that coach in junior and we'd also want to call their cup together not to go back to the fact that you know i want to call their cup not a big deal um but you know i knew it was gonna be my last game so i went out there and finished the game and i was like banned because i was falling over because I had no ACLs, and I ended up fighting a guy, Zach Stortini. They used to call him Huggy Bear in the NHL a little bit, but he's a tough customer, and I would probably give him the edge, and that was my last ever professional fight.
I've grown up enough to not have to be fighting in bars and shit now. So you were fighting on two torn ACLs.
That's fucking crazy, man. Yeah.
Hockey tough. Well, it was sad.
I was like, this is going to be my last ever hockey. It's all over.
And I had no idea what was going to happen with my media career. It was kind of just like your livelihood has been stripped from you, and you're like, oh, shit.
I got to restart this whole fucking thing. Did you sit in the locker room for a while with your pads on? No.
No. Not really.
I actually hurried up and got on change and put some ice bags on because I was so swollen. I looked like the fucking Michelin man with all these ice bags on me, but no.
Did you get surgery on both at the same time? No, I still haven't gotten surgery on my right, but I got MCL on my left, and I used the patella tendon.

Sure.

And then that to fix my left one.

So that's another reason why I would be nervous to get in the ring.

I got to get my legs strong again before I do anything.

That's pretty badass, though, to be like, I've just been walking around on a torn ACL for the last five years.

So surprisingly, a lot of soccer players play on torn ACLs, and the craziest thing about the soccer guys is they're not allowed to use braces either wait yeah soccer guys playing torn acls yeah because if you're if you're able to to to get the muscles around it i think they call it prehab to where before you actually get acl surgery what they recommend doing is allowing the swelling to completely go down and to retrain the muscles around it before you end up going under the knife because if you do it right away it just it's a it's not as clean as a recovery at least that's what they told me and that's what a lot of people have heard so that's why i was the prehab thing seemed like a good idea i just didn't realize i was going to tear the fucking other one when i tried to make a comeback. Soccer players, tougher than you might think.
Yeah. I don't know if that's true though, that soccer players Well, I'll tell you this, there's enough of them out there that have done it before and they've actually done it without a brace because you can't use braces in soccer.
This is why, this is why Billy and Biz can't fight. They are the same person.
Yeah. Like that was a Billy fact.
Yeah. Just throw out a fact that like we can't say.
Ask troops. I bet your troops would know.
I don't. I highly doubt that, like, world-class soccer players play on 28th.
I love Billy facts. Don't get me wrong.
Play on 28th. That's a fun fact.
And I might be wrong, and if I'm wrong. But we don't know how to.
Yeah, we can't prove that or deny it. I know that soccer players have come back from surgery in three weeks on a meniscus surgery and played.
Okay. That's different.
You guys could just go back and forth with facts that, like, no one can really prove. So, wait, who was your fight against, your last fight? Zach Stortini.
Stortini. He was playing.
The most pathetic part about it was they had an AHL team in San Jose, and they draw unbelievable for the NHL. They sell it out most nights.
But they get, like, 200 AHL games. So my last game was played from like 200 people.
Okay, I'm watching your last fight. You're squaring the guy up.
You're eating a couple rights. I got beat.
Let's see. You got a good hold on his jersey there.
That was for balance. Do you miss just mixing up? No.
Chucking some knucks? No, not really. Not anymore.
Would your adrenaline be just like racing after a fight? So what sucked about fighting was I wasn't like a natural fighter. I kind of had to start doing it because I wasn't really good enough as a player to where I had to add it to my bag.
So I was just getting nervous because I had to fight all these guys who were tougher than me all the time, but yet I I had to do it in order to survive and potentially get to the NHL so that so my pregame nap it sucked I was nervous I had a shitty feeling on my stomach the day of games and and you were always the guy like so was there were you ever on a team where there's another guy like you that could maybe take a little bit of the load off or was it just always hey it's biz Like, when we got a fight, Biz is coming out to fight. No, so my last, or sorry, when we won the Calder Cup, not a big deal for the third time this episode, we had a guy named Josh Gratton who was like a super heavy, so having him on the team was nice.
Although I was still willing to go, what, call him a super heavy? No, no, it must have been amazing to have him, so it's like, oh, well, he can go do it. Yeah, to have anybody else at least as equally as tough as you is nice because you can split the load.
And sometimes teams wouldn't even engage because they were like, hey, these guys got a couple mutants on their squad so we won't even bother. Hell yes.
Like the Bass Brothers. I talked to other guys, though, who did the job, and they wouldn't get nervous.
Really? Yeah, they could just do it naturally. How many times did you fight right off of the face-off? Those are my favorite.
Like, hey, you want to go, buddy? All right, let's go, buddy. A ton.
And just, boom, drop the gloves right off the face-off. Yeah, because I wasn't a relevant enough player to where I was out there getting in the mix most nights, where some nights in the NHL I would legitimately play two minutes.
So they would send you out. They'd be like, all right, Biz, get out there.
You know what you got to do. Yeah.
At that point, it didn't have to be told to me. Right.
And then fighting in the league became more and more irrelevant, especially for guys who couldn't contribute offensively and who were just knuckle draggers, as what I would consider myself at that time. Now, this is fascinating to me.
Sorry for all the questions, but was there ever a time where a guy wouldn't go? Like, you just were sent out there, ready to go, and he just turtled? Fell down, maybe? No, just before he wouldn't even go. You can say no to a fight.
Yeah, not often. Sometimes it would, but it's for different reasons.
There's like a psychological momentum shift, at least what some coaches think. And I believed in it too.
Whereas when you had the lead, you never wanted to engage because you wouldn't want to lose a fight and then potentially lose that momentum. Some people think that's the dumbest thing ever.
Like what does that have anything to do? But let's say it's a home crowd and you're on the road, right?

It's their home crowd and you're up 3-1 and all of a sudden you lose the fight.

Their whole crowd is going nuts.

Sometimes the energy will put another team on their heels.

I just think that maybe your team is a little bit mentally weak

if that's going to be a deciding factor.

Although there's been cases in my NHL career.

I remember I had a really good one against Jay Rosehill.

He played for the Philadelphia Flyers.

He's a lefty too.

He's tough as nails.

I would probably give him slight edge in that one too,

but he was smart about it.

So he got out there against our captain, Shane Doan,

and he kept taking runs at our skill guy.

So at that point, we were up 3-1.

I look at our coach and I say, I'm fucking going this guy.

I can't let this.

This is embarrassing. I look like a clown right now because he's rubbing my nose and shit in my own building.
So we had a pretty good dust up. I mean, PFT, you can be the judge of that.
And I still think it was a good scrap. I don't think that the fight lost momentum, but we ended up losing 5-3.
They scored four and answered. So it's just a sign.
So so you're up 3-1 you guys both got a couple shots in there one thing i love about like a really good fighter is you know you have to have that grasp of the jersey so you can kind of control him with your jab hand and then even if you get beat if you have a good grasp of that you can pull the guy down so he hits the ice like right before you and then it looks like he won and then maybe you get a shot on him while he's down, even though you get knocked down. Yeah, most traditional hockey viewers who have watched enough fights can usually vote on who won the fight, who got the best clean shots in.
You talked about that reach and grab, though. Yeah, that's an important aspect, right? Because that's everything as far as what your balance is off the hop.
And there's a funny one you can watch, and I call it poking the bear. But I fought Ryan Reeves in St.
Louis to where we got off to a horrible start. And he got the no from his coach probably because he's like, we have momentum.
I don't want to give it up. And there's no point in fighting you right now.
You're probably a liability on the ice. So I gave him a little kick in the back of the leg, and sure enough, on that fight, I went into grab, and I missed.
But Revo's got such long arms, he got me clean, and he just started wailing to where I'm like, no, a bullet, a bullet. And you started it, yeah.
And I looked like a clown because I poked the bear. But I agree with you.
That first grab is so important because it's everything as far as your leverage. And if you miss and the other guy gets it, look out.
You're going to be eating a knuckle sash. Yeah, he got control.
You're pretty good in that. Oh, right in the back of the head.
And then body slam. Body slam.
Yeah, that was pretty emasculating. He threw me through the earth's crust.
I do like that you were sitting there. And then he gave it the belt after in the home crowd with absolutely fucking bananas.
So in that Bruins-Capitals game from a couple days ago, one of the young guys in the Bruins went after Ovi. Trent Frederick.
Yeah, and Ovi kind of shook him off and was like, I'm going to stand here, I'm not going to move, but I'm not going to fight you. I think Ovi probably heard some of the criticism from the playoffs a couple years ago when he fought the young kid on Carolina and just like broke his face so sometimes you get these ultimate skilled guys like Ovechkin and Ovechkin's a bear he's like 240 pounds I mean he is a mammoth of a human being so he's so skilled and good normally those other guys he's lining up against aren't fighters either and they if they were going to pick one it ain't going to be against Ovi because they don't want to fight a Russian bear.
So this Shvechnikov poked the bear, as I said earlier, and Ovi just cocked him with a hard right. And that's pretty much been the only noise that Ovi's heard since as far as guys challenging him.
This Trent Frederick guy's trying to make a name for himself, but Ovi ain't bothering himself with a guy probably of Trent Frederick's caliber, at least to this point. And I don't know if you guys saw the cup check afterward, though.
He stuck him in the nuts and got a $5,000 fine, which I think Ovi's got that in his fucking cup holder in his car. I think Putin just slid the black card.
Yeah, he gave him the black card. That's a real thing, right? Yeah, I don't want to be starting rumors rumors here i have heard from a decent amount of people that yeah putin gives out this like special black card to uh to a bunch of uh hardcore russian athletes who make the country proud yeah and that it could be a complete myth but i think we should just roll with it yeah absolutely have you seen his uh putin seen Putin's hunting lodge that's basically an entire,

it's like $3 billion?

It's the whole reason why there's like- It looks like a Louis Vuitton signal.

Well, not only that one,

but there's like this whole,

you've obviously seen it.

I think it's on the Caspian Sea,

and he keeps saying that it's not his house,

and it's like, it's insane.

It's a whole country, basically.

The whole house is made of marble and gold.

It's the most insane thing ever. From above, it reads VP.
There's like all these tunnels. There's actually an underground ice rink.
He has an underground ice rink. There's a big hill, and underneath it is an ice rink.
And you've seen his game. He's pretty nice out there.
Yeah, dude. He scores like seven goals.
Okay, so I don't know if Witt has ever told this story on your podcast. This is unbelievable.
Where he was playing in Russia. He showed up to the rink one day and there was these uh these metal detectors and never was like

that he was like what's going on here and i think there was a russian player at the time going into

the building and he kept asking him and i don't think he got an answer before they got into the

building but then ultimately when they're walking in together after going through these metal

detectors he was made aware that he was like putin putin. So Putin had rented out the ice at this building that they played out of, and there was a bunch of people in the crowd, and it was just Putin on the ice, and he was skating around, no goalie, no nothing.
And he would just skate down the ice and put the puck in the empty net, and these people who were asked to be there would stand up and start clapping for them. I love it.
But the players were not allowed to go to the ice to watch. The only way could get out there is he went to where they used to saw the sticks, to where I think the Zamboni entrance was, to where you'd get a look at what the hell was going on.
So there was about 400 or 500 people in the crowd. Putin was just skating down to the other end after he picked it up out of the net.
Score another one. And the same people would just keep cheering.
Okay. So I'm not a Putin guy.
I think he's a bad guy. Right? Yeah.
I don't think any of us are a Putin guy. Right? But that type of story.
We're dead. Good knowing you guys.
No, but that type of story, though. Good knowing you, Hank.
That type of story, mate, is so perfect because if I had that type of money and power, I would do the exact same thing. I would invite a bunch of 10-year-olds over to my house and just swat their shit into the third row.
That's what Justin Bieber does, right? He hires people to suck at basketball. Yeah, right.
That actually, I would build a baseball field and I'd have fucking, I've actually said this to Krabbas. I was like, if I paid you a million dollars a year, would you just throw me fucking meatballs and I'd send them to the moon? And he's like, would I have to pretend I'm trying? I'm like, yeah, a million dollars a year.
He's like, yeah, I'd do it. They're like, okay, that's what I would do.
If I could do that and have him just actually be mad and throw his glove and just fucking moonshot, moonshot, moonshot. I haven't really given it any thought as to what I would do if I had that obscene amount of money.
It'd be incredible, though. Let's ask Billy.
Billy, what would you do if you had that much money? I'd buy a shit little coal and fight Jose Cansego. I'd probably buy a farm somewhere.
Just chill. Oh, I want Highland cattle.
I want a herd of Highland cattle. Look it up.
It's sick. They're like these super furry cattle.
Oh, okay. Like nice looking cattle.
You want like big wired hair pointer type dogs that have like goatees and shit? No, dude. They're sick.
Okay. We'll take your word for it.
Just do some gentleman farming. That sounds awesome.
Yeah, I would get you know what I would do? I would get one of those couches that Doc Annell had in Tiger King. That.
That's purchase number one. The huge, the room that's just a couch.
My entire house would just be couches. I think Kanye did a good job, and I think it's going back to what Billy said, the farm aspect.
Didn't he buy a place in Wyoming, and he has these crazy vehicles that they can go on water, land. What else? Can they fly, too? Yeah.
Yeah, they can do a bunch of shit. And I think he bought it from overseas and you got to import it and it's quite a bit of cash.
That's actually not a bad way to spend money. And then write sick beats and drop some fire.
Yeah. That's good life.
All right. Last question.
This has been fun, by the way, boys. It's great to see you.
So we have the Roback question. We're going to give you some free Roback gear on the way out.
Do you wear Roback? It's actually very, very – you're going to like it. You're going to love it.
The Roback question, promo code PMT for 20% off your first purchase. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
And for our guest today, we'd like to give you a Roback performance Q-Zip on us. Do we have that? We have that.
Somewhere in the studio. It's somewhere in the studio.
So actually, that's part of the fun is you've got to find it in this studio. Oh, well, we can give you that too.
There's a bunch of stuff we can give you. That's the last question.
Do you like our studio? I love your guys' studio. It has a lot of character.
I would love to be able to sit down with the Spittin' Chicklets podcast and do it live. I think that you know i me living in arizona it's not not ideal uh i just feel like we have so much more rhythm when we end up meeting up together wherever we are like we just went to florida to yeah it's fun yeah oh it's blast i mean it's it's just like the flow is so much better we live in this uh well during the last year i don't think we really had a choice anyway doing i think and then we've good enough on Zoom, but there's something about being together.
Yeah, okay. How about this? Here's my last question.
What advice do you have for J.J. Watt moving to Arizona? You want to give him some of Biz Nasty's tips of the trade? We're going to find this rollback for you, I swear to God.
I think that Arizona and Scottsdale area mainly is one of the best places to live in the country. It's been very good to me.
I'm really grateful that when I was put on waivers that they picked me up because I don't think I could have ever seen myself moving to Scottsdale, Arizona. And for eight months of the year, it's unbelievable.
But my advice for J.J. Watt would probably just be stay away from – I mean, he's married, right? He's got a girl.
Yeah. I would say it's probably the sugar daddy capital of the world, so stay away from the thoughts.
Got it. Got it.
That's good. There's a lot of – Don't bring your girl around, Paul Bissonette.
Yeah, that's all right. I got a girl now, guys.
Yeah, he's grown up. Yeah, farmers only.
Oh, here we go. Here and here is your row back.
What size do you wear? Double double xl thanks bill wait why don't we give him a size that he actually is i'm gonna be joining you with the cycle or what yeah let's give him an xl you're an xl l l yeah he can rock an l all right so there it is a parting gift well how many podcasts have you gone on that give you a parting gift as you go from rowback r-h-o-b-B-A-C-K.com. I haven't done a live podcast since probably the last time I was in here, maybe.
Well, no, you just said you did one in Florida last week. Well, yeah, but my own podcast wouldn't give to me anything.
Spitting Chicklets, best podcast out there, number one in Canada, not a big deal. Yeah.
I got a Calder Cup winner, a guy who got traded from a Stanley Cup team. Quebec Pee Wee Championship in 97.
And maybe the most gregarious raconteur of all time in Rirat. He's won more Stanley Cups than probably anyone.
That's true. He's been with a lot of Cups.
So one thing about R.A. is the Forrest Gump of the hockey world.
We're in every single Stanley Cup celebration. He's behind the scenes just getting a picture in there.
I think he's got one with – I know Detroit he's got a picture with Darren McCarty, and then they pigeon-tossed him out of the room and a couple other. But it's been a fun dynamic, man.
He's such an interesting guy. And like I said earlier, I'm just grateful to be part of this Barstool family.
Walk me through real quick the Tochi's incident that happened. And have you guys recovered from that and also is memes ever coming back memes got deleted off instagram he broke too many rules so he's he's in purgatory right now i think i think what gaz is trying to work out is a 30-day suspension so we hope that gas strings we gotta get him back yeah he's uh he's one of a kind yeah toe cheese the toe cheese incident was justis incident was just R.A.
rubbing his Tochis on Witt,

and sometimes R.A.'s just a little bit oblivious,

and now Witt's got some fungus that he can't get rid of.

Wait, he was rubbing his foot on R.A.'s foot?

He scratched his foot.

R.A. had, like, sandals on, and he just, like, picked his Tochis and then went.

And then he gave him the fish hook.

That's so good.

I would show you the video, but spit chicken's memes was fucking R.I.P. But then you watch back on the replay, and you're like, holy shit, R.A.
Witt is now living in a bubble in quarantine, so he can't. A new coronavirus was created? We can never do a live podcast anymore.
Oh, my God. R.A.
ruined it. Billy, thank you for not ever doing that to us.
Yeah. He probably will.

You guys thought you had it bad.

Yeah.

No, we don't.

Billy's fine.

Thanks for having me, guys.

This was awesome.

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All right, let's wrap up.

We got guys on chicks.

I love Paul.

Paul's the best.

Biz is the best.

He's fucking awesome.

It's great to have him in person too.

You ready? Yeah, I think we should start to brainstorm on maybe some new. We're starting to run into a lot of fakes, a lot of kind of questions that have been the same.
So we should maybe think of some new ideas. If any AWLs have ideas for the end of Wednesday shows.
What are you going to say, Billy? Bring back Jimbo's. That's a Friday thing.
Fridays where Jimbo'sbo's. Yeah, maybe.
Kind of blended Dreambo's and a Firefest we could. Yeah.
Just something to keep on your mind. Or something more real stuff, you know.
I don't know. Yeah, I agree with you.
Maybe some voicemails or something. Who knows? Ooh.
Hey, fellas. When should the woman start paying when they first start seeing a guy? I've been on four dates now with one guy,

and I'm feeling pretty bad that I haven't offered to pay once.

All you have to do is the reach.

Just make me think that you're attempting to.

That's really what guys are looking for is the gesture.

I think it's one.

I think, like, after four dates said, four dates,

I think, like, somewhere in the next few,

and it doesn't have to be some crazy, you know, but yeah i would i would throw down once i feel like the schedule is the guy pays for the first few dates maybe after a couple of them you do the fake reach for the tab the guy still pays and then when you have like dinner at one of your homes a lot of times that's the first time where the girl is like i want to make you dinner like so you're burger king i'm burger king well because there are women out there who are great chefs right sometimes unappreciated right that's true that's when you 20 that's when you load up on the wine that's when you load up on a nice dish and that's your way because you're putting your heart and soul into it yeah i like that depends on who chooses the restaurant oh also kind of true yeah yeah i mean if you choose I mean, if you choose, yeah. If she's like, hey, I want to take you out, or hey, let's go here.
Yeah, okay, Billy. That's a good addition.
Hey, Big Cat MD, Ribs, Mr. 35, and Ria's BF.
My boyfriend of two years listens to every one of your episodes on his way to work. We've been living together for a few months, and he had the same job for the same amount of time.
Well,

he wants to move somewhere closer

so he can match his commute

to your episode length.

He says that he hates

not having you guys

to listen to on Tuesdays

and Thursdays

because he listens

to half on his way to work

and the other half

on his way home

on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

He's actually looking up

houses and new jobs

that would make it

so he can listen

to your episodes

every day of the week.

Is this normal?

Please help.

We just need to go

a little longer.

It's very normal.

Either that or on Tuesdays, Thursdays, listen to the yak and macro dosing. Or just put it on half speed.
Yeah, put it on half speed. We'll sound drunk.
We can go a little longer for this guy, but I like that. I like the commitment to get a little bit.
I mean, he's just asking to get a shorter commute, which is a good thing no matter what. So I don't think he has to say it like, hey, I'm doing it because of PMT.
Just say, hey, shorter commute is better, period.

Yeah. That's what's kind of messed up about podcasting is back in the day when you used

to drive to work, you would have a rhythm going. So I knew that I would start my drive when uh what's his name was going to be playing the the parody song on mike and mike in the morning joaquin i think joaquin was going to do his trivia sometimes a buster only and then by the time i would get to work it would be immediately at like the second commercial break right but now you can't you can't time anything out that way yeah well you could just listen to greenie all day every day that's true greenie's always there yeah he's always on my recommendation is just turn mike greenberg is always on at any hour of any day so just listen to that yep he's like the eternal flame hey guys specifically big cat my boyfriend constantly drips pee on his boxers after peeing it's like he doesn't know how to shake i think it's disgusting but every time i bring it up he just shrugs what can I do to get him to stop? Wait, so...
This guy's walking around in his boxers all the time? Specifically for me, how did she know that I have that problem? I don't know. You look like a small drop of pee on the front of your boxers.
I mean, I do. Guilty as charged.
I got pissed on me all the time. You really do.
Yeah, I just get in and get out. I'll do maybe one shake.
Yeah, no hands dance. Sometimes I do no hands, yeah.
Yeah, so guilty as charged. I would say don't shame him.
It's just a little pee, and guess what? He's efficient. I'm an efficient guy.
And it's sterile. Yeah, listen, if you're a man on the go, you don't always have time for the third shake.
Right. Or like that guy that we talked about a couple weeks ago that uses toilet paper to wipe his dick after he pees.
That guy is slow, lazy. He's always late to shit.
Yeah. What are you doing? Wiping your dick again? Yep.
Mm-hmm. It's also like sometimes when you turn a shower off, but something's leaking out.
Like sometimes the pee is done. It just, you have no choice.
It just comes out five minutes later. Are you okay, Hank? It just leaks out.
Yeah. Right.
You just had a little pee leak? Have you had a test recently? I like that. Just leaking a little pee over here.
Yeah, so I just walk in and just, you know, flying out. It's actually a mark of...
It's like diarrhea out of your dick. Yeah.
It's a mark of an efficient male if you just have a wide urethra that's always constantly recycling and replenishing. I actually can't hold my bladder at all.
It just... Do you have.
We all know that. It comes out.
Yeah. I mean, I was making a joke that you just, that was rude.
Do you have a child's bladder? Yeah. I mean, you do.
Are you saying you don't have a child's bladder? I was, you know, I was trying to, you know. Would you say that you have a strong bladder? Yeah.
Really? Yeah. I don't know.
My piss is hard. I piss hard.
Yeah, what's it? When you go, you go balls to the wall? Yeah, like if we were in a stream strength competition. Oh, so you got a wide hole.
And I just push hard. Maybe you got a jacked up prostate.
Maybe you got a huge hole. Did you pinch the end like a hose? Yeah, no, actually I put my finger on the tip.
I just dig deep, bend my knees a little bit, and just go hard. We should invent a penis cork.
Just like it stays in place all day. You have them already.
What? Your stones. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, but that's coming from inside. The stones don't block the pee.
I'm saying something that goes in the end. Just like a wine bottle.
You cork it up, or like a champagne bottle, then you go to the bathroom, and you shake it a couple times. Are you still stoned? I'm stoned.
Yeah, I have an ultrasound, actually. When? Next week.
I'm going to have to do a gender reveal for my kidney stones. But yeah, they're going to figure out, because they're not sure if there's one that's...
Is that the same place as the vasomy? Embedded. Just go two for one? Yeah, you know what? That's actually...
It's similar to that, except if they want to destroy the kidney stones, they have to go up there and then shoot a laser like Armageddon and break them up. And then apparently that is...
They've told me that that would be Leakage City afterwards. So I'm trying to avoid that at all costs.
But I think I'll be good. I think the stones are small enough I can piss them out.
All right, two out all right two more hey buff cat pfg and honk my boyfriend recently got laid off from his job and moved to colorado he broke up with me shortly after getting laid off and said he needed time to grow as a man what should i say to get him to return to the northeast and is it normal for guys to pick up and move after losing their job thanks yeah guys are always on the lookout for that one point in life where they can just do something. Sometimes it takes a kick in the ass to make any sort of move.
Getting fired is the perfect opportunity to do something like that. And plus, once you go to Roto, you don't come back.
Yeah, I think you got to let him go and never worry about him again because when he said he wanted to, what was the quote? He needed time to grow as a man. Yeah, he just wants to fuck.
So just find someone else who respects you and treats you as the queen that you are. And if he were to come back from Colorado, he wouldn't be the same.
He'd be different. He'd be wearing sweaters like what Hank's wearing right now.
He'd have like a flat brim hat on all the time. I like that sweater, Hank.
No, it's a great sweater. I'm just saying it's a very Rado sweater.
I like that sweater, Hank. Thank you.
I'll save it for Fyre Fest. What? It's been a weird day for me.
Why? What happened? All right, I'll just say it early. I got a haircut, and the amount of gas that I've been receiving...
Oh, yeah, I made everyone clap for you. That was uncomfortable.
But then, yeah, so I walked in, big cat was like, everyone clap for Hank. Which was like, you know, that was kind of funny.
But then I've been walking around and everyone's like stopping me and being like, oh my God. That means your hair was terrible.
Right. Yeah.
Right. And no one told me for like six months.
You're on the other side. Because, Hank, I'll be real honest with your new haircut.
It's a decent haircut. I think it's a great haircut.
Well, it's a decent haircut. But the fact people are freaking out about that totally normal, decent haircut is like, wow, I really must have yes we sang from home alone before right yes right all right last one so you're mad that we didn't say anything but i thought you'd kind of given up i thought we all just to be honest that's been i thought it was just like you know it's coronavirus pandemic like you were just you just kind of had thrown in the towel i was more going for like yo look at my sick flow which no one really oh no see i gave it i was more it's like i'm gonna give hank space because he just doesn't care anymore so i'm gonna let him do his thing and like once he wore the pants into the studio that was really the turning point yeah ria absolutely hated it and i was like no it's cool she's like no i'm not gonna pretend to be nice like i hate it yeah and she was like you know proven right yeah yeah does normie does normie recognize you yeah of course you see like i better behave myself because my real dad's here yeah the fuck up stepdad for you of course oh that's been happening recently uh-oh you just gave me a look like yeah there's there's some you know i've been doing some testing and it's like Oh no! What? You've been jerking him off?

No.

Ria was gone last week and the humps were like significantly higher so i think he just like it's something about a girl being around or not being around i don't know man i can actually yeah and you know i'm just looking at this i'm looking at the stats the numbers like ria's come home and he hasn't been humping like crazy. Ria was gone.
He was going nuts on his fucking hamburger. So you've got to be like, yo, Norm, that's your mom, dude.
Yeah, I just threw some porn on, and he stopped. All right, last one.
Sup, boys, especially Curry Ruined PFT. At Curry Ruined.
Huh? I don't know. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now.
Whenever he sees me, he will always say, Hello, my sweets, in a baby voice. And I've always found it to be cute and endearing.
We recently went to visit his parents. COVID safe, of course.
Who cares? Well, actually, we care. Yeah.
Yeah, but who cares for this? Yeah, who cares? Like, I don't. You didn't need to add that in there.
I care that you do it, but I don't care that you added it in this. Upon arriving, we were greeted by his parents.
What are we going to send the police? Like, well, hey, actually, if you send the guys on chicks in recently and you haven't told us that you were COVID safe, we have sent the police to your house. Wait, so your boyfriend's dick leaks, but is he wearing a mask while it leaks? Upon arriving, we were greeted by his parents and more importantly, his childhood dog.
Wait, greeted? That seems like that wasn't safe. As the dog went to greet him, I overheard him say, Hello, my sweets.
In the same exact tone and voice to his 12-year-old border collie. I didn't pay much mind to it, but he kept saying it across the whole weekend repeatedly.
Also, he didn't say it to me once while we were there. It has been bothering me ever am i like a dog to him should i say something or should i just let it go and forget it no so i think guys just have kind of two modes stuff that you really like and stuff that you don't really like and if it's something that you really like you have like one go-to thing yeah this is one way you act around it this is actually a huge compliment yeah this is like he loves you as much as he loves his dog.

That's a huge compliment.

It might not sound like it to you, but it actually is the nicest thing that we can ever do.

If he did it to a cat, different story.

But a dog, come on.

Let it fly.

Does he pick up your shit?

That would be a major simp move.

That would be too far.

Too far.

Alright, Billy?

Alberta, Canada is the largest population in the world that is rat-free. I did know that, actually.
I knew that. They actually have fines, too.
Yeah, no rats. Yeah, they have fines.
I think someone brought a bunch of rats, and the guy had to go to jail. Yeah.
Now I'm doing Billy facts back to Billy. That's a fucked up move Like going to Alberta and bringing your own rat.
Yeah. 99.
18. 8.
77. I actually got the lottery machine right.
It didn't count. No, it doesn't count.
32. It didn't count.
I said it didn't count. No, me too, actually.
Five times in a row. 8.
24. 8.
8. Oh, wait.
That's 99. Did you get that?

It's 99.

Did you get it?

I'm two in a row.

Oh, my God.

No way.

Holy shit. Wait, did you say 99?

No way.

I always say 99.

Wow.

Wow.

Wait, that's not 66?

Let me see that.

Holy fuck.

Line on the bottom.

Line on the bottom.

That's 99.

That's 99.

Wow.

I'm two for two in my last two.

Welcome to the club. Yeah, you did two for two two in my last two.
Welcome to the club.

Yeah, you did two for two, right?

No, just welcome to the club.

Oh, okay.

Who's in the club?

Me, Liam, Billy, and Jake.

What are the odds of that?

Wow.

Getting two in a row.

Two in a row.

Well, it's 1 in 99.

Thank you.

This is, I tell you what, this guy's about to get hot in gambling.

This guy's about to get hot and gambling at the right fucking time.

Love you guys.

Talking away.

I don't know what I'm to say. I'm safe anyway.
Today is another day to find you. Shining away.
I'll be coming for your love of faith. Shining away.
I'll be coming for your love of grief. Take on me.
Take me alone. I'll be gone.
And after all I'm changed. Needless to say.
I'm all descended. It's for me Take care.
Say help to me. It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be gone. In a day of tea.
All the things that you say Is it life or just to play my world real away You are the things I've got to remember If you're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway If you're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway. Shying away.

I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me.

Take me alone.

I'll be gone.

In a deep. I'll become energy.

I'll become energy.