Paul Bissonnette, Dak Gets Paid And Conference Championship Week

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Speaker 4 On today's pardon my take, we have Paul Bissinette, one of our good friends, Spit and Chiclet's fame. Awesome interview.
In-person interview. Always great.

Speaker 4 Always different energy when we get someone in person, live in the flesh.

Speaker 4 It was great to talk hockey with him, but also we got in the mind of his career and having to fight a bunch of guys. Very fun interview.

Speaker 5 Get excited for that.

Speaker 4 We have Dak Prescott getting paid. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne.
We have Guys on Chicks. It is Wednesday.

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Speaker 6 Look, the handle, no

Speaker 4 It's part of my tape presented by Far School Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Tape presented by 3chi.com.
That's the number 3chi.com. Use code pardon at checkout for 5% off your order.

Speaker 4 Today is Wednesday, March 10th.

Speaker 4 And Dak Prescott got paid. Pay Dak.
Big time paid. Good for him.
Monster pay. Very good for him.
And

Speaker 4 it's actually like maybe the best contract that's ever been signed.

Speaker 5 For him or for the Cowboys?

Speaker 4 For a player. Right.

Speaker 5 It is front-loaded. He's getting like $60 million this year.

Speaker 4 $66 million the minute he signs. $75 million this year, $95 million guaranteed against

Speaker 4 injury, and then like $126 million that's guaranteed otherwise. Like they'd basically have to cut him to not.
So it's like $126 out of the $160 million is guaranteed, and...

Speaker 5 It's four years. What do you think happens when you sign that, when you sign your contract and you're due $66 million?

Speaker 5 How long after you sign on the dotted line are you allowed to be like, where's my money? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Does that direct deposit hit immediately? Do they give you expression?

Speaker 4 I think it does. I think it hits immediately and then you just have the money.

Speaker 5 What if you sign it and then you have to wait like a week and a half for payday?

Speaker 4 No, I think it comes right away. That's it.

Speaker 4 I think you press a button and it's just like Jerry Jones has a button on his desk, direct deposit.

Speaker 5 It's like the Mr. Burns thing where it opens up the floor, except you fall into the Scrooge McDuck vault of just gold coins.

Speaker 4 What do you even buy right away?

Speaker 5 If I'm Dak, probably a mouthpiece.

Speaker 4 Probably a personality.

Speaker 5 Yeah, probably a bodyguard and go to Panama City Beach, try to make up for some past.

Speaker 4 Right some wrongs. Yeah, exactly.
No, but it's good for him. He bet on himself.

Speaker 4 I always root for any guy who bets on himself.

Speaker 5 Wait, what was the personality thing? His color is gray?

Speaker 4 Now he's one of our best interviews.

Speaker 4 We have talked about doing

Speaker 4 a worst of, the first worst of of all time on a podcast. I think we should do it this year.

Speaker 4 Listen, I think Dak Prescott's a nice guy. There are certain people who come on the podcast who are, it's clearly a PR hit, and they're just here to

Speaker 4 pitch their product, Aaron Donald,

Speaker 4 and then move on.

Speaker 5 Well, he sat down, and we were like, I think one of the first questions you asked him was,

Speaker 5 What's the deal with your name? Did you know that you have a porn star's name? Yeah. Well, he was like, I'm actually just here to talk about yogurt.

Speaker 4 Yeah, get back to that. Well, and we also had some history that Dak, to his credit, had no idea about when we were supposed to interview him at the Super Bowl in Minnesota.
That's right.

Speaker 4 And he stood us up and we spent like an hour trying to get into this building and then he stood us up. But either way.

Speaker 5 Hell hath no fury like a podcaster scored.

Speaker 4 I'm happy for Dak Prescott. He's a great player.
He bet on himself. He deserves the money.
It's awesome for him. I don't understand.

Speaker 4 So there is obviously an argument to be made. Like if you don't think you have the guy.

Speaker 4 Paying him a lot of money will screw you up. But the Cowboys are, they don't win anyway.

Speaker 4 And they also, if you want to point to one thing they screwed up it's probably Ezekiel Elliott's contract right yeah like Dak Prescott deserves that's the going rate for quarterbacks right now you want to have the argument where does he rank in the top 10 or top 15 that's fine but that's the going rate for a quarterback that is above average and that's Dak Prescott yeah I think at the time with Ezekiel Elliott Dak was I don't remember exactly where Dak was in his contract but it felt like the jury was still out.

Speaker 5 You didn't know how good Dak was going to be. So I can kind of, I can argue this both ways.
So I guess that's what I'm going to do.

Speaker 4 The first opinion is... Well, let's pick sides.

Speaker 5 Well, see, here's the thing. I can see it both ways.

Speaker 5 And the way that I see that it's good is depending on how I'm currently defining the MVP award, so that it best suits my current argument, you could make the argument that Dak is an MVP guy because you saw what happened when he went out last year.

Speaker 5 And I actually,

Speaker 5 the team just stunk. Like, Andy Dalton is probably an average backup.
So

Speaker 5 Dak goes out, Andy comes in. The team just goes to absolute shit.

Speaker 4 So the take, I wonder, I'm sure this has been made, but as first, as Chris Brassard says, the first that I know of, I'm making this take.

Speaker 4 Is Dak the first injury that actually got him paid? Because that injury, you're right. Like Andy Dalton, the Cowboys were not the same.
They have a ton of weapons around them.

Speaker 4 They drafted CeeDee Lamb. They have Amari Cooper.
They have Ezekiel Elliott. They couldn't do anything.
And you'd have to think, like,

Speaker 4 did they watch that and say, wow, Dak Prescott's probably better than we thought?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think in a way it did get him paid. The only other guy I can think of is Drew Brees, maybe.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 When his shoulder got hurt and then he became a free agent and he kind of had his pick of the litter.

Speaker 5 Granted, he wasn't making as much money as he probably would have, but like becoming a free agent turned out to be a good thing for Drew Brees at the time.

Speaker 5 But with Dak, it's like, yeah, maybe that's the blueprint. Like, break your leg early in the season when you're about to become a free agent.
And then that way,

Speaker 5 you limit your risk of having a catastrophic injury later on.

Speaker 4 Well, we also, I think there's a thing that happens in the collective conscience of like injuries where when a guy gets injured, you're like, oh my God, this could be it for him.

Speaker 4 Like, you know, when you franchise tag a guy, it sucks because he could be injured and that could be it. Injuries aren't like that anymore.

Speaker 4 If Alex Smith can come back from his leg almost falling off, like the injuries aren't the same as they were 30 years ago. Like it's not,

Speaker 4 who is it, Mickey Mano stepped on a sprinkler? Yeah. And that was it? Like that doesn't happen anymore.

Speaker 5 You know what you don't hear anymore? You never hear a guy being like, I blew my knee out. Right.
Like your dad, your dad's friends would be like, yeah, I was pretty good. Then I blew my knee out.

Speaker 5 That was it. Or I threw my arm out.
And then that's as far as medical science went at that point. It's like, okay, his leg doesn't exist anymore.
With Dak, it became very clear last year.

Speaker 5 And I'm always going to be a little bit of a hater on Dak just because he's a division guy. Yep.
And I don't want to see him succeed as much as some other people do.

Speaker 5 But I think if we're doing quarterback tears, which you have to do, by the way, tune into Billy's bracket of draftable quarterbacks.

Speaker 4 Oh, you're actually going to do it?

Speaker 5 Yeah, we had a little discussion about that earlier today. today.
But if we're doing tiers, I would say that Dak is a

Speaker 5 great, very good quarterback.

Speaker 5 So he's like the best, very good quarterback.

Speaker 4 Give me a number. Give me the tier number.

Speaker 5 He's the best, very good quarterback.

Speaker 4 But give me the.

Speaker 4 That is how I usually rank.

Speaker 4 Well, I rank sucks and good. Right.
And so I actually think he's the worst good quarterback.

Speaker 5 Oh, I actually think that he's an average good quarterback.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I put him a little bit higher.

Speaker 5 I would put him at like number seven, number eight.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's right around where my cutoff is, though. Okay.
Because remember, the Matt Stafford line was always my

Speaker 5 good sucky quarterback. So, yeah, I think he's a great, very good quarterback, and this is the going rate for a free agent, great, very good quarterback.

Speaker 4 And next up is, well, Aaron Rodgers wants a recommitment from the Green Bay Packers.

Speaker 5 Josh Allen.

Speaker 4 Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson are going to get paid a ton of money.

Speaker 5 Wait, when we first had Josh Allen on, did we say in exchange for providing services, pumping up his draft stock, we get, what was it, 2.5% of his lifetime earnings?

Speaker 4 Let's just say 2%.

Speaker 5 2%.

Speaker 4 Let's be nice about it. We'll cut a little off.

Speaker 5 Okay, we'll give the 0.5% to charity.

Speaker 4 He's going to pay.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the next quarterbacks,

Speaker 4 it's got to be pretty awesome when Dak Prescott gets paid and you're one of the next guys. Yeah.
And you're like, oh, this is nice. It keeps going up and up and up.

Speaker 5 Aaron Rodgers is probably already pissed off about his contract.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he wants the recommitment.

Speaker 5 So you can look at it that way. But then I was thinking you can also look at at it from a different perspective, and that is what you get when you have your owner being Jerry Jones.

Speaker 5 So the extension, okay?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I wrong,

Speaker 4 wrong hole.

Speaker 4 Sometimes it's wrong hole. You boofed it.

Speaker 4 Wrong hole. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Which hole do you want to put it in?

Speaker 5 So with Jerry Jones, anytime he,

Speaker 5 I think his perspective on this was that this is like Jerry's opportunity to pat himself on the back for drafting a good quarterback that no one liked.

Speaker 5 So, in a way, like Jerry is proving himself correct by being like, this guy that I found was the fourth round. Nobody else wanted him.

Speaker 5 He was like the eighth or ninth graded guy from all the scouting services. I took a chance on him.
I saw something in that kid. I drafted him.
Look at me. I was so right.

Speaker 5 Now he's being paid the most guaranteed money of any quarterback to ever play.

Speaker 5 It's like Obama putting the Medal of Honor on Joe Biden. He's like, look what a great vice president I picked.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Look, he's a Medal of Honor award winner. Well, more than anything, it's just this is, you see,

Speaker 4 every team has this issue where if you have a quarterback that is a little bit better than good, you're going to have to pay him. And there's no other...
I went through this

Speaker 4 when the Bears were paying Jay Cutler and everyone's like, well, you can't do that. Yeah, you have to.
Like, you either have to.

Speaker 4 When you have a quarterback that is a little bit better than average or a little bit better than good, I'll say Dak is better than good. You have to pay him.
You can't.

Speaker 4 Like, it was never even an option in my head.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Ben DiNucci is not the guy that's going to take you to the Super Bowl. As much as I hate to say it, it's not in the cards.
Dak is... I mean, you could win a Super Bowl with Dak.

Speaker 5 Does he fall into that category for you? Is he a confetti quarterback? A confetti quarterback. I can picture this question.
I can picture it.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 4 It's not even on Dak. It's more just that I just don't trust that Jerry Jones and Stephen Jones will do what's right for the rest of the roster.
Right. Mike paying as he goes.

Speaker 5 Mike McCarthy, not a confetti coach. I know he's won a Super Bowl, but this iteration of Mike McCarthy,

Speaker 5 he's a confetti cake coach.

Speaker 4 Depends on how many watermelons he's like,

Speaker 4 will he be smashing watermelons next year? Yeah.

Speaker 5 This is the reason I would love to play for Jerry Jones because he would do stuff like pay you a shitload of money if it made him feel good.

Speaker 5 And also, he, I mean, let's be real, Jerry's getting to the end of his line here. He's probably in the mindset of you can't take it with you.

Speaker 5 I can either spend all this money on my players and go balls to the wall and really try to get one more Super Bowl, or I can just give it to my idiot son and have him fuck everything up for me.

Speaker 5 So Jerry's giving his money away.

Speaker 5 He's spending like a sailor on shore leave.

Speaker 4 Well, I don't know if that's... Do you think that that's really how like I think they're just gonna

Speaker 4 spend to the salary cap every year?

Speaker 5 I think Jerry wants

Speaker 4 to save any of this money anyway.

Speaker 5 The Saints would beg to differ. You can do the salary cap doesn't exist in the NFL.

Speaker 4 Right. No, I'm saying he was going to spend no matter what.
Right.

Speaker 5 He's very...

Speaker 4 He's got more than enough money.

Speaker 5 If Jerry Jones likes you and you play on the Cowboys, there's no job in America that has better job security besides maybe being an employee at Barcelona Sports where nobody gets fired.

Speaker 4 Yes, that's true.

Speaker 4 Billy's still here.

Speaker 5 Billy is still very much in this room right now.

Speaker 4 But yeah, good for Dak. Be nice to Billy.

Speaker 5 I'm glad for Dak. As a Washington football team fan, I'm not super excited because he's definitely the best quarterback in the division.
There, I said it. I know that's controversial.

Speaker 5 Although Joe Judge did give a no, it was Gettelman, gave a ringing endorsement of Daniel Jones today, and he said, you know,

Speaker 5 not everyone is great at their job after two years. But Daniels are yours.
But Daniels are a fact.

Speaker 4 I'm still a believer in Daniel Jones. I'm still buying stock.
It's cheap. It's very cheap right now.
But yeah, this was going to happen. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I guess I'm just never really shy. Like, I think the Daks deal was better than I expected just by the fact that it's four years.
Like, I'd rather have Dak Prescott's deal than Patrick Mahomes. Oh.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 500 million, that's a lot of money, though. It is.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 it's not all guaranteed. It's 10 years.

Speaker 4 Like, Dak Prescott, if he's good for these next four years, can get paid a ton of money again when the salary cap goes back up, when TV deals, when, you know, like all he basically is giving himself another shot at it, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Like, like

Speaker 4 maybe Patrick Mahomes ends up with more money career-wise than Dak Prescott, probably will. But Dak Prescott at least has another shot at it.

Speaker 5 No state income tax in Texas.

Speaker 4 That's awesome.

Speaker 5 Like we joke about the after-taxes thing, and you're right, nobody likes the after-taxes guy, but you always have to throw that in there just to just to sprinkle it into the conversation.

Speaker 5 The state income tax guy, that's the smart version of the after-taxes guy, because it actually does make a big difference if you play in Texas.

Speaker 5 I don't know how they figure that out in terms of how many games you play on the road, how many games you play at home.

Speaker 4 I think you do have to pay it on the road.

Speaker 5 On the road games, yeah. So that actually does make a difference in the 17-game season, then.

Speaker 4 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 4 Year to year. Yeah.
Although, when you have that much money, I don't even know if you even see it.

Speaker 4 You probably just, I actually, if you had, if, if you had 66 million, I would ask for them to like print out a receipt, like a bank, like almost an ATM receipt and be like, just show that to me.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God. Every time I was at the ATM, if I was withdrawing like $40,

Speaker 5 do you want receipts? Absolutely. Yes.
And then I'd leave it very delicately on top of the trash can.

Speaker 4 Let someone see this. Yeah.
All right. Other news.

Speaker 4 Myers-Leonard. Whoops.

Speaker 4 Uh-oh.

Speaker 5 Jimbo of the century.

Speaker 4 Yikes.

Speaker 4 This is, I'm actually shocked. You know what? I'm shocked that this doesn't happen more often.
What did he do, Big Hat? So he used, he dropped a K-bomb,

Speaker 4 a slur, a Jewish slur on a live stream of Warzone. Yep.
And yeah,

Speaker 4 it was actually crazy because

Speaker 4 you see it happen. You see him almost see, like, oh, that was probably wrong.
And then, like, five minutes later, later, he takes a phone call and then gets off the stream. He's like, I gotta go.

Speaker 4 My wife needs me. No, dude, you just, you just fucked yourself over.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was, it was a hard K-bomb, too. Very hard.
There was a wind-up for it. He took, like, a breath.

Speaker 5 It's, I liken it to this is a deep cut, but the line that Uncle Cracker delivers in Cowboy by Kid Rock, the smash hit, where he takes a big breath and goes, but now I'm just blunt.

Speaker 5 Like, he winded up for that. He was ready to go.
If I could put it in Warzone terms, if he was dropping bombs, he wasn't using an RPG. He was using a Cigna.

Speaker 4 There you go. Hank will get that.

Speaker 4 He uses that word. That came out pretty.
It was Papa John-esque. Papa John has spent 20 months trying to get the N-word out of his vocabulary.

Speaker 5 Would you take my hot seat, big cat?

Speaker 4 Well, I mean, it's appropriate for this.

Speaker 4 Is it not? It's very similar. Like, Myers Leonard will need 20 months to get the K-word out of his lingo because that definitely was effortless.
Yes.

Speaker 5 It's not something that if you use the K-word, then you use it all the time. It's not something that you sprinkle into a conversation occasionally.

Speaker 4 That wasn't the first time he was like, ooh, I'm going to try this new word out on Warzone. Right.

Speaker 5 He probably says it while he's eating breakfast. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Passing that salt.

Speaker 5 Yeah. K-word.
It's a very casual thing for him, obviously.

Speaker 5 I actually don't know anybody that you. I don't think I've ever been in a room when somebody's dropped a K-bomb.

Speaker 4 Have you been in a room when someone dropped the N-bomb? Yes. Ooh.

Speaker 5 Yes, I have.

Speaker 4 Several times. By yourself?

Speaker 4 No, no. Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 Definitely not.

Speaker 4 Definitely not. But you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 Like, I don't know anybody that uses that. It's weird that it was so casual for him to just bring it up.
Yeah, no, he's using it very often. Very often.

Speaker 4 It's something

Speaker 4 he's happy to use.

Speaker 5 The general rule of thumb: if you're going to insult any sort of nationality or any sort of ethnic group, just stick to us Italians, Irish, Scandinavians.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you can even do that anymore, though.

Speaker 8 The real question is: just what style is going to go for his apology video?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's him and his wife. No tap.
No tap.

Speaker 5 100% not. I don't know, but like when you're...

Speaker 4 He put a little yamuka on his dog.

Speaker 4 He's like, my dog's Jewish.

Speaker 8 He considers himself a streamer, so I feel like he's going to have to do some type of like, you know, apology YouTube video, like coming clean.

Speaker 8 And that's really the question.

Speaker 5 Nine reasons why you shouldn't say the K-bomb. And then the YouTube thumbnail is going to be him with like his hands on his cheeks.

Speaker 4 With his mouth open and his wife. Do you think he's going to go the route like I didn't even realize anyone was watching?

Speaker 4 Which doesn't actually isn't an apology because that's really what that's the the crazy thing about like 2021 and people streaming and and they they let their guard down because they're streaming and they don't realize that people are watching and if you play video games for i don't know if he plays video games it's the all-star break so he's playing video games for six hours a day he then slips into the conversational words that he uses in private.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, he's going to have to do something maybe with the team.

Speaker 5 Actually, you know what he's going to do?

Speaker 5 He's absolutely going to put out like an Instagram post that has his words, like a notes app, but with a picture in the background, and the words will be like cursive and it'll be like really fancied done, photoshopped.

Speaker 5 But he's going to have to do something with the team because

Speaker 5 correct me if I'm wrong, but there are probably a few Jewish people who are Miami Heat fans.

Speaker 4 Yes, I would say so. Jay, can you confirm? Yeah, there's probably Jewish people who are fans of every team.

Speaker 7 There's probably one in this room.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, there we go. Oh, yeah.
What do you are you? I mean, he's got to go, but he's also got to stay because that's why

Speaker 9 every word you

Speaker 7 every word you say on a hot mic matters.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 If he had spelled it out, if he had said this fucking K.

Speaker 4 It doesn't help, too, that he's got a very memorable name because not a lot of people name Myers. No.

Speaker 4 Really? And the hair didn't help

Speaker 4 at all.

Speaker 4 I didn't recognize that.

Speaker 7 Leonard Myers, there's definitely tons of Leonard Myers.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so he's definitely going to dye his hair back to brown.

Speaker 5 You can't continue on. It's already been done.
Yeah, that's step one.

Speaker 5 He's probably going to have his wife next to him if he does a video because because she was involved in it too when she called him.

Speaker 4 I don't think that was his wife who called him. But he's going to be like,

Speaker 4 I think that you wait. You thought that was his wife? That's what he said, right? Yeah, but that wasn't his wife.
But that was his agent being like, hey, dude, you just fucked your career.

Speaker 5 He's going to have to continue with that lie. And so he'll have his wife in the background.
It's going to be the Myers-Leonard apology tour is going to be one for the record books.

Speaker 5 Maybe a, what is it? There's a deep drive in the left field.

Speaker 4 Yeah. He's going to have to do something like that.

Speaker 5 Go to Puerto Rico for a second.

Speaker 8 Maybe he can put someone on the back of his jersey or something. We can say, Billy,

Speaker 5 you know, those trucks near Madison Square Garden that are like get bought mitzvah today.

Speaker 5 Yeah, is he going to convert?

Speaker 4 You think so?

Speaker 4 That would be hilarious.

Speaker 9 That would be very hilarious.

Speaker 10 But probably wouldn't happen. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Probably not. I'd say no.
Not going to happen. PR, like little PR1.
PR 101, convert. Okay, here's what you have to do.

Speaker 5 Get circumcised.

Speaker 4 On air. On air, yeah.
On aircraft. On your stream.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 No other way. Figured it out.

Speaker 4 Well, how has he been playing this year? Poorly? Poorly.

Speaker 5 I don't think he's played a lot. I looked up his stats because I saw he averaged six points a game for his career, but this year he's down to like three points a game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he hasn't been playing for a while, too. I think he's been injured.
Oh, yeah. CM Myers taking these.
I mean, I don't feel bad for him.

Speaker 4 Again, if it had felt like that was a stretch for him to say that, but he really did. It did feel like he said that a lot.

Speaker 5 That's the thing, is like, I don't understand how it could be a stretch to accident. Oops, that one slipped.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Who amongst us hasn't done that?

Speaker 4 Anything else? We've got conference tournaments. The Barcelona Sportsbook app will be live in Illinois starting on Thursday at noon.
So get ready for that.

Speaker 4 Can't bet on Illinois in Illinois, but can bet everything else.

Speaker 4 Jake, did you have any conference tournament

Speaker 4 teams that you thought were going to win?

Speaker 7 I think the popular pick this week is going to be UConn and the Big East.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I love that UConn's back.

Speaker 7 They're the three-seed Villanova. Lost their best player, unfortunately, last week, Connor Gillespie.

Speaker 4 Did you know that there was another Archie Diacono? Yeah. That's crazy.
They are the Plumleys of Villanova. I was fully out of the way.

Speaker 7 I'm like the Duncans of Vermont.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you tweeted this or you know, you retweeted it. You retweeted someone.

Speaker 4 What the fuck?

Speaker 8 If you retweeted someone that said this, but I always thought his name was Archie Diacono.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, his name's Ryan.

Speaker 7 That's crazy. Just get ready if UConn goes on a run.
James Book Knight's the guy to look out for.

Speaker 4 Kemba Walker doesn't appear.

Speaker 7 And Creighton's been dealing with some off-the-court issues too.

Speaker 4 So, what happened there?

Speaker 7 He's back. They reinstated him.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to get it.

Speaker 4 He went on a Warzone live stream. Yeah, he used the P-L-A-N-T.

Speaker 7 So you have the one seed without their best player. You have the two seed dealing with some issues in UConn.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Coach Hurley.
Okay. I mean, I love Danny Hurley.

Speaker 4 AOC is going to show up.

Speaker 5 Danny always does well at MSG.

Speaker 4 That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. That's your hometown.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I love Danny Hurley.

Speaker 7 Duke is currently playing with no buying, the ACC. By the time this podcast is out, their season could be over.

Speaker 4 Probably not. BC is awful.

Speaker 5 Probably not, but I'll just say that if Duke does lose tonight, Coach K should consider lighting himself on fire like a Buddhist monk on the sidelines.

Speaker 7 He should retire. Has won four games this year, and they fired their coach two weeks ago.

Speaker 4 He should retire then. If Coach K loses this game, Hank, retire?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 4 Come on. Hank, you have

Speaker 7 a, I believe, a 10-2 lead right now.

Speaker 4 Let's go. Most famous lead in basketball.
The game's on. Oh, it's on.
I think it's more than that. It's right in front of us.

Speaker 7 I hope it's more than that. 10-6.

Speaker 4 Excuse me. Okay, so it's

Speaker 4 BC. Wow.
This to me.

Speaker 5 This to me is this week is how you separate the casuals from the real fans. You should get hyped for Conference Championship Week.

Speaker 4 I think Conference Championship Week oftentimes is better than the actual tournament. Like,

Speaker 4 I love the tournament more because it's just everything about it, but there are more games on Thursday and Friday at Conference Tournament Week than there are in the tournament.

Speaker 5 Plus, I think it helps that you know that it's not going to be the last game of the season.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's wall-to-wall action.

Speaker 5 You know that there's

Speaker 5 not final.

Speaker 5 It's not like the end of the road, whereas the NCAA tournament that's always looming in the back of your head, like, well, I'm not going to see that team anymore.

Speaker 8 And you also get the scrub teams that have no, like, the only way they get in the tournament is they somehow finish the team. Yeah, Thursday

Speaker 5 to Jerry McNamara.

Speaker 4 Thursday, Friday, Saturday are those three days, and they're the best. They're the fucking best.
This is the best time of year. This is March.
We're going to have John Rosteen on on Monday.

Speaker 4 Very excited about that.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I did this on Wednesday.

Speaker 8 They should have to get people ready for this fucking ridiculous NCAA tournament.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're mad. You're big mad, Hank.

Speaker 8 They should have done it this weekend as well.

Speaker 4 What do you mean?

Speaker 8 Like, they should have done it Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Oh, to get it.

Speaker 4 To get our bodies ready.

Speaker 4 I didn't break it to Hank that the Sweet 16 is Saturday and Sunday.

Speaker 5 And he was very upset.

Speaker 5 It's Monday, Tuesday.

Speaker 8 It's the Monday, Tuesday that's upsetting.

Speaker 4 Right, but there's no Thursday, Friday.

Speaker 4 on the second week. That's awful.
Yeah, right. That's terrible.

Speaker 5 I had to reschedule my vasectomy again this year. Yeah,

Speaker 4 they are making us quit more cold turkey than they ever have, going Monday full action to Tuesday, no action.

Speaker 8 Yeah, people are going to, it's going to be crazy.

Speaker 4 It's going to be bad. Jonesing.
This is when we need MAC football, spring MAC football. We throw out a game on a Tuesday.

Speaker 5 They should put some FCS games during the week.

Speaker 4 CBI. Is the CBI happening this year? I love those tournaments.
I don't think so. Those tournaments

Speaker 4 are crazy.

Speaker 7 The NIT is happening with 16 teams in Dallas.

Speaker 4 I think I told this story, but

Speaker 4 the moment I realized that I probably am not cut out for the real world was

Speaker 4 I was taking a G-MAT class to take the G-MAT for business school.

Speaker 4 And I did so poorly on it because all I was doing was sitting in the back of the class following the CBI and the NIT. It was like Oregon State was

Speaker 7 still up in the air.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I was like, you know what? This probably is information.

Speaker 5 Which one was the tournament that had the golden pineapple?

Speaker 7 Is it the CIT?

Speaker 4 Yeah, CIT. That was the one that they played worse than the CBI, right? And the championship is two games, right? Isn't it? They play.
It's something so weird and awesome. So, yeah, that's...

Speaker 4 Do you guys remember the year?

Speaker 5 Way, way back in the day, right when text message technology first started to come out, this is back in like 2001, 2002.

Speaker 5 I signed up for text alerts for, it was like the upset alert from the CBS Sports Minute, whatever it was called. And they would text me in class if there was an NCAA tournament upset in progress.

Speaker 5 And by the time I would get the text, I would turn on the game and the game would have been over for five minutes already. Yes,

Speaker 4 very low.

Speaker 7 Daytona Beach, Florida, seven hours ago.

Speaker 4 Hell yeah. All right, so

Speaker 4 I'll be betting on that. That will be great.
Yeah, those are...

Speaker 4 I have to look up the year and the game. I think it was Oregon State.
Can't remember who they were playing, and it was so bad that I was following that. So, yeah, that was a lesson, you know?

Speaker 4 Yeah, if you're you're going to be a bad person,

Speaker 5 if you're going to be bad at something, be so good at being bad at it that you make a career out of it.

Speaker 4 Right. And also just realize that you don't have the aptitude or the, you know,

Speaker 4 ability to

Speaker 4 take tests anymore. Yeah.
Or be a serious person. Be a real human being in this world.

Speaker 4 I learned that, and that was it.

Speaker 5 We're anti-standardized tests on this podcast.

Speaker 4 Dude, could you imagine taking a standardized test right now?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 4 No, I should probably do that.

Speaker 5 Do a scantron, get your number two pencil out.

Speaker 4 We should probably take like a, not even, because you know, some people are like, oh, we did the fantasy football, like ACT or SAT.

Speaker 4 No, I think we should take, like, at some point this summer, we should take, like, a ninth grade

Speaker 4 history class test.

Speaker 5 The SSAT.

Speaker 4 No, something that's so

Speaker 4 like an eighth grade math class test.

Speaker 4 That SSAT? Philly just got it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 They'd make you take it in high school.

Speaker 4 Okay. And the Myers-Lender version.

Speaker 5 Is that the one where now if you get like a 1600, that's really just an F?

Speaker 8 That's the SRT. Yeah.

Speaker 4 They changed all the scores. They inflate.
It's basically like when we did our three-point contest and made every three-pointer a thousand points. And we have the record now.

Speaker 5 Or like what football does when you score one point, it's a seven.

Speaker 4 Yeah. All right, let's get to our hot seat cool throne.

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Speaker 4 All right, hot seat, cool throw on Hank.

Speaker 8 My hot seat is Alabama and Georgia.

Speaker 4 Ooh.

Speaker 4 Damn.

Speaker 8 Rush probes, classic coach from who is

Speaker 4 Two A Days.

Speaker 8 There's leaked audio of him basically snitching and saying exactly, you know, how much Georgia and Alabama are playing pl paying players. That Nick Saban's money guy is Bear Bryant Jr.

Speaker 4 Whoa.

Speaker 8 Who owns a bank in Alabama. And so whenever he needs money, he goes through Bear, and that's how they launder and get the money to pay the players.

Speaker 5 That to me sounds like bad operational security. If you're Nick Saban and you have to have like a secret bag man, you got to do better than Bear Bryant Jr.
who owns his own bank.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's a little too on the bank.
Although that is kind of untouchable in Alabama. Right.
Like no one's going to go after that.

Speaker 5 And like how do you not find a jury in Birmingham? Right.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And if you own a bank, it must be super easy to like, you know, move money around.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go ahead and... Now, I do think everyone

Speaker 8 find out that Alabama and Georgia are cheating and paying players.

Speaker 5 It's probably not even a real bank.

Speaker 5 It's probably just a building that has a lot of cash in it. And then it looks like a bank, but when you drive through, you get a special card from Nick Saban that you put in the machine.

Speaker 5 They're like, here you go. Here's your payment.

Speaker 4 Everything I thought is a lie. I know.

Speaker 8 They paid Georgia players 90 to 150K to sign with them.

Speaker 4 Unbelievable. This is also the coach, by the way, if you don't remember, two days he invited his mistress to a high school game with his wife in attendance as well on reality television.

Speaker 4 This guy's a gem. I mean, that's...
He also got fired for something. I think.
Yeah, no, his raps is absolutely crazy.

Speaker 8 So there is a chance that, you know, this is like, who knows?

Speaker 4 Wait for him to stay in the headlines, yeah.

Speaker 8 But yeah, that was just heartbreaking stuff. My entire worldview on college football has changed.

Speaker 8 And then my cool throne, I have a couple. First one is Avatar.

Speaker 4 Oh, movie? It's coming out in like 2032?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 8 Well, there's like 10, they're supposed to make like 10 sequels. This is a crazy move by James Cameron, though.

Speaker 8 He's re-releasing Avatar in China on Friday in an attempt to reclaim the highest-grossing movie ever.

Speaker 8 So if they just make $7.4 million more dollars, then they get to up themselves over Avengers Endgame, which apparently you can do that.

Speaker 4 That's cheating. Remember when

Speaker 4 people got depressed after Avatar because it wasn't the real world.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 4 They wanted to be in that world.

Speaker 5 That was the most blatant publicity stunt ever that the studio leaked. It's like people are killing themselves because the world's not Avatar.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because there can't be these tall blue people running around and sucking off a tree tree of life.

Speaker 5 Can't James Cameron just like rent out a movie theater and play Avatar and sell one ticket for $7.5 million to a certain amount of time?

Speaker 4 That would be smart, yeah. That's what I would do.
Yeah. Although he probably would make more than that releasing it in China, right? Yeah, probably.
Right.

Speaker 8 Then my other cool throne is Cocaine Bears.

Speaker 4 So this is a tweet.

Speaker 8 This is a tweet I saw earlier.

Speaker 8 Just a movie, a must-see. I'm already slapping a must-see on it.
So Elizabeth Banks is to direct a bear-centric thriller, Cocaine Bear, for Universal. The film is based on true events from 1985.

Speaker 8 A hundred seventy-five-pound bear accidentally consumed over 70 pounds of cocaine that was dropped from a plane by a smuggler. The exact details of the film are under wraps.

Speaker 5 Are you sure that this is about cocaine? Because there's an actual story that don't ask me how I got this far down into the rabbit hole, but well, you can say it's for work now.

Speaker 5 There's a bear in Washington, the state of Washington, that

Speaker 5 drank like 70 beers that were left behind at a campsite. And the name of the beer, it drank certain types of beer and didn't drink like the bush light.
The only beer that it drank was called

Speaker 5 cocaine-e. Oh, so it's it looks like cocaine, but this is a different bear.

Speaker 4 Maybe that's a sequel to be a beer. No, no, this bear is real.

Speaker 10 I talked about this bear on my first deep dive.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, it's a real bear.

Speaker 4 So, what happened?

Speaker 7 A drug smuggler.

Speaker 4 But what happened to the bear? I heard that.

Speaker 5 We had a great time. Don't spoil it.

Speaker 4 Don't spoil it.

Speaker 10 Well, he got very high, and he got a lot of money.

Speaker 4 He just listened to some EDM and talked a lot.

Speaker 10 He got very, he died.

Speaker 4 Oh. Just grinded his teeth down.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 At one point, wait.

Speaker 8 Would they give it a more better answer?

Speaker 7 Couldn't get his dick hard.

Speaker 5 It'd also be a great 30-for-30 name for the Sam Hurd story.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's true. Although, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 4 it was a lot of cocaine that he got busted for.

Speaker 5 I think it was probably more than 70 pounds.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was a significant amount. A significant amount.

Speaker 4 Is that it? That's it. Okay.
I mean, a two. Okay.

Speaker 5 But you only had the the one hot seat.

Speaker 4 Right. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 It was just asymmetrical. Right.
Yeah. I guess my hot seat's still racism because Papa John is he got his 18-month chip for not saying the n-word for the last year.

Speaker 4 20-month. Oh, 20 months.
20 months. Good for him.
Every day.

Speaker 5 I like to think that he's got one of those apps that you use to track your sobriety where he just pushes a button. He's like, didn't say it today.

Speaker 5 This weekend must have been tough. Like Papa John watching the all-star game, if he could get through that, you can do anything, Papa John.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And And yeah,

Speaker 5 he's one of the final bosses where we will know that racism is cured officially when Papa John gets his three-year chip.

Speaker 4 He always looks so oily. Oh, he is.
He just, he looks like he uses olive oil for his hair product. Yeah.
I kind of appreciate that. He's his own pizza.

Speaker 5 I think, did I tell you about the time I met him at the Super Bowl? This was... Back in San Francisco.
I think, no, it was in Arizona. So it was before I worked for Barstool.

Speaker 5 But I met him and I took a picture next to him, and he was just standing next to me me breathing and it's the most off-putting thing ever to stand next to papa john he breathes like this i'm going to do an impression

Speaker 5 yeah that's how he just walks around all the time he's got like cheesy bread stuck in his

Speaker 4 his throat yeah it was very jose canseco like yeah do you think they'll say before he took a dive yeah i was gonna make a joke but it's it's too borderline so i won't say it but it must be racist if like your three most famous products as an industry wait what was the joke i was it was more borderline than saying that papa john couldn't watch the nba all-star game yeah i was gonna putting it into everyone's head no well a little bit because i was that was pretty on the on the line he doesn't probably

Speaker 5 on the subs that he sells only offers oil and not the second condiment that's how much he is willing to to stay away from that word at all costs got it got it yeah okay anyways my other hot seat is top shot Top shots on the hot seat.

Speaker 5 There's other reasons why it's on on the hot seat that I don't really understand. All I know is my Caruso stock is we're nearing the moon.

Speaker 5 We're in lunar orbit right now, but Rob Gronkowski is making his own NFTs.

Speaker 4 Nice.

Speaker 4 So is Buda Ben.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's true. Shout out to Buda Ben.
This is how you know that the bubble has not yet begun to burst. When Rob Gronkowski gets in as an early adopter, he's probably just selling his memories.

Speaker 5 He's probably just like, I'll sell you this memory I have of a sweet night that I had in Scottsdale.

Speaker 4 He's probably just selling the number 69.

Speaker 4 Like, if you NFT 69, right, can't you sell them?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's actually, that's a great idea.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think that's what he's doing.

Speaker 4 Someone will buy it. I will.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I will personally buy it.

Speaker 4 You got another one?

Speaker 5 No, just those two hot seats. And then my cool throne is

Speaker 5 chivalry. Chivalry is on the cool throne because Burger King in the United Kingdom had a nice message for everybody on International Women's Day, which was yesterday.

Speaker 5 They tweeted out a woman's place is in the kitchen.

Speaker 5 And then they followed it up with reasons why we need to encourage more women to become chefs because they're underrepresented apparently at the top of the line chef levels. But it was a choice.

Speaker 5 It was an interesting choice to start out International Women's Day. They were doing the right thing.
Shout out to Burger King. Shout out the King.

Speaker 5 Would like to see a whole royal family of burgers built around it eventually, but you've just got the king for now, and that's fine.

Speaker 5 But it was one of those things where it's like... You know what they were going for, and you know that they had like a series of meetings leading up until that week, and everybody was bought in.

Speaker 5 They're like, this is actually a great idea. It's going to get a lot of attention.

Speaker 4 See, I like to imagine it was just a rogue person who was like, fuck, International Women's Day. And then they were like, quick, we got to think fast.
What's our follow-up?

Speaker 4 And that's what they did.

Speaker 5 That would actually be brilliant.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was a rogue intern who's like, I just want to tweet my terrible thoughts on International Women's Day. Yeah,

Speaker 5 that would...

Speaker 5 That would be the best handling of a PR crisis like that that you could ever imagine.

Speaker 4 And now,

Speaker 4 even if that didn't happen, because they got blowback, because I think they probably could have done it a different way, they should just say that's what happened. Yes.
And just go with that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because then they get all the credit in the world for sure.

Speaker 4 We thought fast.

Speaker 9 I like that.

Speaker 5 Or just take my advice and build an entire royal family around it so it's not just the king. Give him like an old, give him an old stodgy queen that hates the new woke Papa John.

Speaker 5 There it is. That's what I would like to see.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, the

Speaker 4 king and queen, or there is no king. Billy, can you stop breathing the mic real quick?

Speaker 4 It's not Billy's fault, people. It actually is not Billy's fault.

Speaker 5 He's got a deviated septum.

Speaker 4 He's got a deviated septum.

Speaker 4 Buckled septum, but I was just noticing it, so I was.

Speaker 4 But the, yeah, the king, or not the king, but Philip, whatever his name is.

Speaker 5 I still think that if you fuck the queen, you're the king.

Speaker 4 I totally agree.

Speaker 4 It feels like they're getting dragged every single. But you know what? What happens is we wake up because of time zones, you miss all the,

Speaker 4 you know, English, like England reacted to it. There was all the Good Morning Britain clips, but by the time we woke up, it was already gone.
Yeah, it's like I hate that.

Speaker 5 When I wake up in the morning, everybody's pissed off at Piers Morgan for something.

Speaker 4 Like, what do you do? Oh, seven hours ago? Okay, well, that's 10 years ago.

Speaker 5 No one cares anymore.

Speaker 4 Right, exactly. All right, my hot seat is Peter King because he said in his, whatever his column's called now, that the Bears are screwed in the quarterback department, barring a miracle.

Speaker 4 I'm just saying, Peter, you're fucking screwed, dude, because because I still got interest running on your burgers. So just want to remind you.

Speaker 5 We should just call him the hand burglar on this podcast.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and we should just keep it a tally of how much money he owes me. You know what? Imagine if we had used that money for Bitcoin.
Be through the roof. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Add it to tab.

Speaker 5 I heard that inflation was a thing that was happening lately. It is.

Speaker 4 It is happening.

Speaker 5 So we're sure. We better get paid.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is anyone who was desperate for more Manning

Speaker 4 content because Eli Manning now has a show on ESPN Plus too. Great.

Speaker 5 What's it called?

Speaker 4 Eli's World. Eli's Place.
Oh. Eli's World.

Speaker 4 Eli's. Yeah, I mean, Peyton's Place is a thing.
Cooper has his thing on Fox. Now Eli has a show.

Speaker 4 It's great. I love this.

Speaker 4 All the Mannings.

Speaker 4 Dude, one Manning just go full in and become like a commentator on Monday Night Football.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're kind of teasing us a little bit, aren't they?

Speaker 4 It's bullshit.

Speaker 5 I've seen some of the Peyton Manning stuff, and he's pretty good.

Speaker 4 No, he's funny.

Speaker 5 The Peyton's Places stuff is funny. I've laughed at it, and

Speaker 5 it's going to make me sound stupid, but I usually learn something, and it makes me feel good after watching it. I want more Peyton Manning.

Speaker 5 So he's doing the right thing, I guess, keeping us at arm's length. And now Eli's like, hey, can I get my own show too? Like, he's getting a spin-off, essentially.

Speaker 5 We're doing a spin-off for Eli where he's going to walk us through all his fake memorabilia that he sells.

Speaker 5 Be like, this is going to appreciate in value because I've got my son throwing my helmets down the stairs every four hours.

Speaker 4 But it's, yeah, we need more Manning stuff, so we have it.

Speaker 4 Billy.

Speaker 10 My hot seat was the SEC, the Royal Family, but now the Bears. Kyle Long will be returning to the NFL.
Not to the Bears.

Speaker 10 But that's why they're on the hot seat because he doesn't want to go back to them.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's fair. So Bears on the hot seat.

Speaker 4 I don't even think they're on the hot seat. I think that's actually just, it's smart for Kyle to not want to be on the Bears.

Speaker 5 It's very smart, and

Speaker 5 it's not a good look for the Bears.

Speaker 4 Hot seat.

Speaker 4 what has been a good look?

Speaker 4 I don't think it's a good or bad look for the bears. I think it's just Ray Bears.

Speaker 8 It's like Gronk going to the Bucs. I don't think it's necessarily a bad look, but it's just

Speaker 4 somebody wants to be.

Speaker 4 But Kyle's been very vocal.

Speaker 4 He's not a fan of Matt Nagy. Kyle's not a fan of Matt Nagy.
He's been very, very clear about that. So it was never even in, like, it was...

Speaker 4 It was never even in my realm of possibilities for him to go back to the Bears.

Speaker 5 I think Kyle's firmly entered the realm of he's a guy that we're rooting for to get a ring no matter what team he ends up on.

Speaker 4 Correct. Or another Pro Bowl.
Add another Pro Bowl to it.

Speaker 10 Okay. My cool throne is GameStop.
GameStop is rallying again.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Getting back up there and it's going pretty crazy. And yeah.

Speaker 5 I found that most of my investing success comes just from stocks that I forget to sell.

Speaker 5 So I forgot to sell GameStop. I've got diamond strong hands.
These things are rock hard. And it shot up

Speaker 5 in the last week, 70%, 100%, something like that.

Speaker 4 Just keep going.

Speaker 5 All I know is that between that and my doge, I am, again, lunar orbit. It's pretty sick.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Let us know when we're on the moon.

Speaker 10 Cool tone, Mother Nature. A hawk killed one of my hens.

Speaker 4 Do you want to talk about that? No. Now, is this a situation similar to your frog where we have to ask what...

Speaker 10 No, I woke up this morning. And a hawk.

Speaker 4 My chicken got fucked in. What a crazy night that was.

Speaker 4 Why are there all these feathers in my bed? I woke up this morning and

Speaker 5 there's a hawk that uses the same kind of condoms I do.

Speaker 10 A hawk swooped down and got one of my hens.

Speaker 4 Did your hen watch it? Did your hen crawl under your ass for warmth? Like Christopher? God, man. Cozette.
No, Billy, did you? You sat on it.

Speaker 5 I'm serious. I'm serious.
Are you okay? Did you see it happen?

Speaker 10 No, I didn't see it happen.

Speaker 5 I just saw the feathers. So you were being negligent?

Speaker 10 Yeah, honestly, it was because I didn't let my dog out.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was going to say, what's the point of having a dog if you can't protect the hens?

Speaker 10 Well, sometimes the dog doesn't do well with the chickens. What does that mean? It just depends on the morning.
And sometimes he'll go after the chickens. Has he killed the chicken?

Speaker 10 No, he has not killed a chicken.

Speaker 4 Has he attempted to kill a chicken?

Speaker 10 No, he's barked at a chicken, never tried to kill a chicken.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 He's a very well-behaved dog. Okay.

Speaker 5 So.

Speaker 4 Didn't he shit in the office like six times?

Speaker 10 That was, no, he was a puppy, and I was coming into the studio, and I had a lot to handle. And I said, Spider, can you please watch my puppy while I record?

Speaker 4 And he was a puppy in side. So it ate the entire chicken? It flew away one time.

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah, it ripped it up.

Speaker 4 Hawks attack from the sky and then it hit on the air. I know how birds work.

Speaker 10 No, but like falcons will swoop and hit things on where?

Speaker 8 Air to air.

Speaker 4 Okay. 100

Speaker 4 to hunt. So your chicken wasn't flying around 30 feet in the air is what you're telling us.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 10 Okay. So I snipped its wings.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 10 That's not. No, no, that's very allowed.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And you also cut your dog's tail, right?

Speaker 10 And eats your ears. No, no, no, no, I didn't.
I did not crop my dog's ears at all.

Speaker 5 You know, something's definitely legal when Billy says it's very loud.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's very loud. No, it's it's people do it.
All right, let's get to our interview. We got Paul Bissinette.

Speaker 3 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 3 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

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Speaker 11 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 4 Here he is.

Speaker 5 Biz Nasty.

Speaker 4 Okay, we now welcome on one of our best friends in the entire world. It is Paul Bissonette.
Also known as Paul Mistinette.

Speaker 7 How about it is that commercial?

Speaker 4 Oh, it was great. Are you kidding me? I love it.
Time for for harder shot.

Speaker 5 My only complaint is that they don't play it enough.

Speaker 4 Yes. Yeah, it should have won a lot of times.

Speaker 7 That's the worst part of the commercials during the NHL playoffs. They legit recycle four commercials.
So, like, everybody hates your guts by the end of the first. Right.

Speaker 5 Now, we had Wit on, and Wit gave us a little sneak peek behind the scenes and said that you wrote that line about yourself, the Paul Mist and that. Is that true?

Speaker 7 Somebody had said it to me before, and like when they originally said it, I was like, okay, that's kind of funny. That is funny.
I mean, spitting hot fire.

Speaker 7 And then, you know, all of a sudden we went there.

Speaker 7 I think there was a bit of a disconnect to like they were kind of like, you know, say, say what you would say on the podcast, and we're like, yeah, that ain't gonna fucking fly on NBC. See you, buddy.

Speaker 7 Like, I talk about chicks eating my hoop. Like, you know,

Speaker 4 if you guys, I mean, not anymore.

Speaker 7 If you guys want, not anymore.

Speaker 4 How many kills you got, Wit? No, not anymore.

Speaker 4 So, Biz, it's good to have you in the studio. Great to see your face.
Great seeing you guys. You want to talk a little hockey? And then we have some important business at the end.

Speaker 7 Fucking PFT was all over me about this Tom Wilson hit, Crying Me a River. Listen,

Speaker 7 it sucks for everybody involved. I'm sure Tom Wilson doesn't want to be sussied seven games.
I'm sure he doesn't want to forfeit

Speaker 7 over 300K in salary.

Speaker 7 That's a kick in the dick.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 7 then Carlo was banged up. He had to go to the hospital.
You know, you don't want to see guys getting up.

Speaker 5 So how much of that hit was kind of in retrospect, like the hit itself was, yeah, by the letter of the law, not clean. I will say that it wasn't clean.

Speaker 5 But do you think he would have gotten anywhere near seven games if the outcome of the hit wasn't a trip to the hospital and all that?

Speaker 7 No, I mean, you know, they obviously get a little bit of time afterward to absorb like what happened to the guy.

Speaker 7 Like, obviously, a trip to the hospital ain't going to be good, especially for Tom Wilson.

Speaker 7 Listen, he plays on the edge. It has benefited him greatly because he is a fear type of player out there where everybody's got their head in a swivel.
He plays on that line where

Speaker 7 I can't really defend what he did because...

Speaker 7 I played in an era where I think that that would have flown and it was starting to get weeded out just because of like everything they were talking about with the the headshots.

Speaker 7 And they're, hey, like, player safety here. Let's try to eliminate that.
So, you know, it's just for the new style of game, you just can't do it. Now, you know, I'm an old school type of guy.

Speaker 7 I would have probably got up and tried to take a run at him and fucking grabbed them. But well, you wouldn't have

Speaker 4 been on the ice. That's a fact.
Right. So, but in an imaginary land, I would have been.
From what I understand, the problem is he does play on the edge. He is

Speaker 4 had a bunch of bad hits, but he doesn't seem like a bad guy. Whereas, like, a Rafi Torres is just a scumbag, bad guy.

Speaker 7 Oh, come on. Okay, that's going.
One of the best teammates I ever had. Yeah, he was tough to defend, especially the last one when he was in San Jose.
And I think he was already on his last straw.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 7 And it was in preseason, and he legit took a guy's jaw off.

Speaker 7 I think you can go YouTube it, and I think he ended up getting like 41 games.

Speaker 4 That's more than a sussy.

Speaker 7 Yeah. That's a sussy and a half.

Speaker 7 That's a sussy and a half.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a double sussy. But that's, wouldn't you say a triple sussy? Like, Tom Wilson, it seems like guys respect him, but he does play on the edge.

Speaker 7 I think that guys his own team love having him on their team. I think that most other teams, I mean, they're supposed to hate him.

Speaker 7 And that's what is

Speaker 7 slowly fading away from the game, in my opinion, is that genuine hate.

Speaker 7 You're seeing more of it this year, especially maybe in the North Division in the NHL, just because they're kind of stuck in their own eight to seven team division right now.

Speaker 7 So it's a fucking guillotine, bloodbath, lower the cage, you know, Undertaker out of his casket type shit.

Speaker 7 Hell in the cell, baby.

Speaker 5 So, what happens if you're one of those teams in the north and you have an Austin Matthews or you've got a Conor McDavid, you got a young star that you need to protect.

Speaker 5 There's always going to be a place in the game for a guy like Tom Wilson.

Speaker 7 Let's put it this way: if Tom Wilson would have done what he did to Conor McDavid, he probably would have got a full-year sussy.

Speaker 7 I think it's getting to the place where they got to really protect those guys. Now,

Speaker 7 just

Speaker 7 as far as protecting the stars, I think that most teams who have guys like that have done a good job of surrounding them with a little bit of meat, as they say.

Speaker 7 You look at very good teams like Las Vegas. Well, they got Revo there.
You look at

Speaker 7 Washington, they got Tom Wilson, who

Speaker 7 I think if push came to shove, he probably would fight

Speaker 4 Revo.

Speaker 7 But even going towards Toronto, they picked up Wayne Simmons in the offseason, who can handle his own business. They had Kyle Clifford there last year.

Speaker 7 So I still see a very relevant position for guys like the Ryan Reeves and the NHL because

Speaker 7 you look at any of these rosters that have made it to the finals the last

Speaker 7 how many every year is like they always seem to have a guy with them. One guy, yeah.

Speaker 4 I saw Witt took back his

Speaker 7 can I hop in there just a prime example. Tampa was having a hard time giving over the hump.

Speaker 7 They had Bogojian, Luke Shen, and Pat Maroon as big, meaty guys guys to be able to handle that type of play if it ended up going there and it did a little bit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it doesn't even have to be. I think your point is it doesn't have to be like the traditional goon.
It's got to be bigger guys who can handle it when need be. Distractions.
Right.

Speaker 7 Distractions. That's what we, when we won the Calder Cup, like we had our fourth line.
It was me, Josh Bratton. What is that? Is that a real thing?

Speaker 5 That's when the Hershey Bears play against the Wheeling Nailers.

Speaker 4 Is that below or above like the

Speaker 7 Sancho Arena? Arena Arena.

Speaker 4 Smoke another one.

Speaker 7 With KB Swag dropping the pocket center ice with Moondog doing laps.

Speaker 4 I love it.

Speaker 5 It's Nick and KB on each other's shoulders skating as one of the different movies. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Wait, so.

Speaker 7 It's kind of like in the outfit that was not semi-pro. What was the figure skating movie?

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 Azure Glory, yeah. Wade, so finish the Calder Cup when you won the Calder Cup.
Sorry. We all remember that.
It's a real thing

Speaker 5 if you're one of the handful of people that haven't seen this Calder Cup.

Speaker 7 Yeah, in Manchester. Yeah.

Speaker 7 In Manch Vegas, as they call it, not far from Boston.

Speaker 4 I love whenever a city is the worst ever.

Speaker 4 It's like Vegas on it. Stark Vegas.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 yeah.

Speaker 7 There was one club, and during our time there, I believe somebody got stabbed at it. And so, like, nobody was going.
Yeah, so it was a bit of a rough scene in Manches Vegas.

Speaker 7 So, survival of the fittest. Who's this?

Speaker 4 Hank? Hank. Oh, Hank, just a little bit.
Hank with a haircut. Yeah, don't mind us.
Big haircut. Let's see you.

Speaker 4 Debut it. On air, live.
Ooh, that's good. Ooh, nice.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's looking really good.
Oh, nice.

Speaker 4 Shave the beard.

Speaker 5 When do you deploy to basic training?

Speaker 4 Do we still have a shot? I think it's a nice haircut. I think it's a nice haircut, Hank.
I'm not going to make fun of you for it. Yeah.
What's up, guys?

Speaker 8 This is quite a luck you all have.

Speaker 4 Well, he just put this on me. We all look great, Hank.
I don't know.

Speaker 7 I got sunburned at the Pink Whitney Cup.

Speaker 4 We all know. I'm struggling.

Speaker 4 All right. So, Witt did take back his comment.
He said when he was on two weeks ago, he said the Blackhawks have no chance to make the playoffs.

Speaker 7 No,

Speaker 7 probably the most surprising team, and especially after they got off to that dog shit start, that new goalie, can't even pronounce his name he's playing well and yeah they just they're just finding ways to win like i mean they just hung around with tampa bay uh the last last three games they played a triple header hell and sell yeah hello hell and sell action but uh mind you they were up 3-0 and witt sends out the tweet saying like you know forgive me chicago and then he completely mushed the hawks six unanswered by the tampa bay lightning to finish that one so that's ryan whitney Thanks so much.

Speaker 4 Hey, I actually have a real hockey question. What the hell's up with the Buffalo Sabres?

Speaker 4 That seems like a situation where they've been bad for a really long time and they have Jack Eichel and they still aren't good.

Speaker 7 It's like they have too much juju going for the Buffalo Bills and they sucked it all out of

Speaker 4 the Sabers.

Speaker 7 Kind of like the Monsters in Space Jam.

Speaker 4 Well, it happens when there's not one when they don't have four teams in a city because it's just, they don't really know how to spread the love.

Speaker 5 Tampa's just stealing all the love.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Tampa's buzzing.
But seriously, what is it? Like, are they ever going to be good?

Speaker 7 It's just one of those

Speaker 7 organizations right now that seem a little bit cursed. And, you know, I would imagine that it's going to have to get a lot worse before it even gets better.
And that's saying a lot.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 7 I feel bad for Jack because he's a good player. And sometimes when there's, I guess, not enough weapons around,

Speaker 7 it gets a little bit stressful and it's hard to carry the load. And they're not saying it's just, you know, there's a few other guys.
Sam Reinhart's had a great start to the season this year.

Speaker 4 Well, it could have been

Speaker 5 still too good to get better. They have to get.

Speaker 4 No, they're really bad.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but they're still too good to get better. They have to get worse to get better.

Speaker 4 They're broken. They're broken.
They're a broken organization.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 7 they need to fix a lot of problems. Like, it's not good.

Speaker 7 I don't know how else to summarize it without beating a dead horse here.

Speaker 7 I genuinely feel bad for this organization because it ultimately comes down to the fans, and we know they're just as crazy as Bill's mafia. And they've been waiting a long time

Speaker 7 to repay the rest of the teams in the league for the foot and the crease by haul.

Speaker 5 So, the new schedule that's out this year, you see teams playing almost like baseball-type series against other teams where they play like back-to-back.

Speaker 5 What is different about playing a team like twice in a row? Would you prefer to play the same team two times in a row, three times over the course of a week?

Speaker 5 Or do you like cycling around and skipping around through the schedule?

Speaker 7 I think that it would be very wise just from a hockey-related revenue standpoint, as far as not burning fuel and wasting all all this time hopping around places, and especially for teams in the West who have to travel so much, go to a place, play two games.

Speaker 7 I think, I mean, Coyotes played the St. Louis Blues seven times in a row this season.

Speaker 4 That's pretty fucking awesome. I mean, it was

Speaker 4 a year.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it created so much hate. That's to the extreme, and it made for a fun series.
It actually went to seven.

Speaker 7 I think that they should at least be playing two games. And Jonathan Taze was a guy who's been harping on this for a while.

Speaker 7 And, you know, normally when it's a guy of that stature saying it, it gains a little bit more steam. But I 100% think they should adapt it,

Speaker 7 especially within teams of your own division. Like if you're going to California, yeah, go play the Kings for two, go play Anaheim for two, and go play San Jose for two, and come home.

Speaker 4 Well, it's like, you know, basketball and hockey. They don't play the same schedule as baseball, 162, but it's half of that.
Why not just, when you go, play two? Right.

Speaker 4 Like, no one complains about a baseball series because it's just something we're used to. Yeah.
It would be cool if there was was a hockey series. You can't play two games.

Speaker 7 And sometimes you'll play like a back-to-back where you'll play in Edmonton and then you'll travel to Vancouver that night and then you're like playing the next day where it's like, why couldn't we just have banged out a back-to-back in Edmonton, saved ourselves the cost of fuel,

Speaker 7 all the other things. Green.

Speaker 4 Going green too. Yeah, Biz's green plan.
I like this. Biz is green deal.

Speaker 7 I think that they are going to adapt it moving forward.

Speaker 7 Sometimes it just takes a situation like this to force the hand where I think they're seeing enough positive feedback from it, including the North Division, which, you know, I think it was a good experiment for one year.

Speaker 7 I think it's going to eventually go back to Albany.

Speaker 5 It does seem like we're segregating the Canadian teams a little bit.

Speaker 4 Plus.

Speaker 7 Well, they're doing that because of the border situation.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, I totally get that. But I don't understand why it took hockey so long to get to this point where they're doing series, because maybe you can tell me a downside.

Speaker 5 But if you get teams playing against each other twice in a row, there are these little mini storylines that build up. It generates more interest in those games.

Speaker 5 Like you said, you save on travel costs. You get to unpack your suitcase in a town occasionally.

Speaker 7 I don't know. Yeah, you might get to hit up the cactus club waitress that you did the night before in Edmonton or Calgary.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4 You get to, yeah,

Speaker 5 you go on a date, on a day date with the person that you meet the night before.

Speaker 4 Yeah, maybe a little sober sex.

Speaker 7 It'll make

Speaker 7 for a better relationship because maybe the follow-up day, you gain a little bit closer.

Speaker 7 Next thing you know, it's like instead of changing it up the next night on the road, you're you know, you're snuggle faster.

Speaker 4 Don't you too? Do you like the Canadian division because it guarantees that a Canadian team gets into the final four? Which, like, you know, they haven't won a cup in what? How many? 90?

Speaker 4 Probably older than 90.

Speaker 5 Yeah, definitely. I think it was what, 93, 92?

Speaker 7 I think that it's been really good for this year. Yeah, it's good to see Toronto have success and Leafs Nations buzzing.

Speaker 7 You know, I mean,

Speaker 7 they still got to get past the first round. I don't think they've done so in the last 15 or 16 years.
So this is a starving fan base that is seeing a better opportunity to, yes, get out.

Speaker 7 And they don't have to try to get through Boston.

Speaker 5 Right. So is this the Leafs year?

Speaker 7 I said on the podcast at the beginning of the year, I truly believe with the pickups that they made and adding Joe Thornton's experience to maybe calm the young guys down in a sense of deflecting media and keeping it more positive during stressful times.

Speaker 7 Yes, I think that they're going to win the standards.

Speaker 5 I'm all on board. They're my Canadian team.
Are we allowed to have a Canadian team?

Speaker 7 You can do whatever you want.

Speaker 5 I feel like you should, as America, as the number one

Speaker 7 sports podcast, you could probably do whatever the fuck you guys want.

Speaker 5 Okay, well, Toronto, the Maple Leafs, the Leafs are my Canadian team. I do want to see them.
If it's not going to be the Caps, I'm absolutely rooting for them to win it all.

Speaker 5 I think they're a fun sports.

Speaker 7 Who's your Canadian team, big cap?

Speaker 4 Probably the Flames. I like that.
I like the stadium.

Speaker 7 So they just, you know that they just picked up Daryl Sutter, right? As the new coach. They can their coach

Speaker 7 mid-season here.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 7 Of Kings fans. So Daryl Sutter is a hard-nosed coach.
We actually just got his brother on. There were six brothers who ended up playing in the NHS.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they're an all-time hockey family.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so Daryl Sutter was off for six years, ended up coaching in San Jose with a guy named Dean Lombardi, where after six years of him just completely not coaching, Dean Lombardi hired him as the LA coach midway through the season and then winning two cups with L.A.

Speaker 7 Yes. So he's been on the shelf for another three years, and Calgary's been underperforming, so they ended up hiring him.
But he's a hard, hard-nosed coach.

Speaker 4 That series in, I want to say it was 2014, the Western Conference Finals, when the Kings scored on a game seven overtime goal at the United Center. Remember that? Was it that sucked?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was 14, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, they won in six. They beat.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 7 Are you sure? The L.A. Kings, when they beat who? Then when they beat New York or New York?

Speaker 4 No, I'm talking about in the Western Conference Finals. Yes, they beat New York in the Cup.
Yeah, who did they beat? Oh, the Blackhawks.

Speaker 4 I'm saying they scored a game-winning goal, an overtime game seven goal at the United Center.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that was an insidious thing.

Speaker 4 Really serious. So it sucked the air out of that.

Speaker 7 That was a kick in the dick, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 I like the hard-nose. I feel like they pass.
I feel like hockey passes around the hard-nosed coach guys.

Speaker 4 It's like, oh, tortz is here to whip everyone in shape, and then in three years, everyone's going to hate his guts, and they're going to have to go somewhere else.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he's lasted quite a long time in Columbus based on his shelf life, as usual.

Speaker 4 Yeah, right. Like,

Speaker 4 he's expired milk at this point.

Speaker 7 You guys should do a draft list of who the hardest-nosed coaches are.

Speaker 4 Who else? Give us some more guys.

Speaker 4 In the NHL, Badcock, kind of. Well, yeah, but

Speaker 7 he got canceled for being a little too hard. He was playing mind games.
Right, right.

Speaker 4 He took hard-nose to to an extreme level.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he was strapping guys up to lie detector tests in the room and stuff like that. Yeah, nipple clamps.

Speaker 7 You know, when saving Silverman, when they're

Speaker 7 and the guy lights up, yeah, it's like.

Speaker 5 I did actually see a hockey coach doing that, getting a polygraph. Like, he doesn't know how to read it, but he pretends that he does.
So it's those two. Would you put Trots up there?

Speaker 7 No, I would, no, Trots is a good dude.

Speaker 7 He's just very system-oriented.

Speaker 7 So Laviolette,

Speaker 7 I think he's more of a player's coach than a hard-nose coach. Although, you guys have talked probably about Dry Island on here, haven't you? Dry Island.
So, Dry Island was something.

Speaker 7 So, during the Philadelphia Flyers, during some of their peak years there when they had Mike Richards and Jeff Carter and then Chris Pronger came on board, I think that they were known at the time as a bit of a party team where they like to have a fucking good time

Speaker 7 and get after it. So, the coach ended up proposing, but not consulting the leadership group about this dry island.
So, it's like everybody who wants to stop boozing at a point in the season till

Speaker 7 I believe the end of the year was going to join dry island. So you would go write your name on the board.

Speaker 7 So a few guys of the leadership group like Mike Richards and Jeff Carter, they were like, no, like Richards is a throwback old school player.

Speaker 7 So he's like, no, I'm going out and I'm battling for 60 minutes and I'm grabbing a fucking beer after the game.

Speaker 4 Because he never got on Dry Island.

Speaker 7 So he never, he never joined Dry Island.

Speaker 7 I don't think, I'm not sure if Jeff Carter did or not, but it was just, I think it was part of the respect factor, the fact that he didn't consult them that he was going to do it, which rubbed them the wrong way a little bit too.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 4 ultimately,

Speaker 7 I don't want to say this is the final straw, but it ultimately the Jeff Carter ended up getting traded in the offseason at Columbus. Mike Richards ended up getting sent off to L.A.

Speaker 7 Well, Jeff Carter ended up in Los Angeles with him because he was over Columbus in about six weeks, and they got two cups together.

Speaker 4 So that's like alcohol persecution.

Speaker 7 It was like the prohibition in the Flyers Locker Room.

Speaker 4 That's crazy.

Speaker 5 If your coach says, like, we're going to form Dry Island, it's totally voluntary. If you want to sign up for this,

Speaker 7 it was like this. It's voluntary, but if you're not on it, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the DU Islanders is the other group.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I wonder if anyone took themselves off Dry Island. Like, went and erased themselves.
Yeah, what about Dry Island?

Speaker 7 Hey, are we going to applaud the DU Islanders there?

Speaker 4 No, I'm curious.

Speaker 5 I'm actually curious about Dry Island.

Speaker 4 Little clip snaps. He says,

Speaker 5 What happens, though, if you're on Dry Island and you fall off the wagon, fall off the motorboat, whatever you call it? Like, if you get caught having a beer?

Speaker 7 Well, I think that that might have been part of the issue, too, where there were guys on Dry Island who were actually, you know, sneaking a few cocktails.

Speaker 7 Maybe they were going for a piss on the team flight and they were doing one of those mini pink Whitneys on board.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Those weren't little pinks.

Speaker 5 Have a couple crown and coke separates.

Speaker 4 Buy some pink Whitneys.

Speaker 5 Nice plug. So, so wait,

Speaker 5 give me your final four. Give me the Biz Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks for the final four.

Speaker 4 You haven't thought about this on your

Speaker 4 own.

Speaker 7 It's just hard early on because I feel like when teams peak a little bit too early,

Speaker 7 it's a negative thing.

Speaker 7 I think that Vegas, it might be Vegas this time. They're getting very good goaltending from Flower right now.

Speaker 7 They got a wagon of a team up front. They just get contributions deep down the lineup, and they got a solid back end.
They got a couple young Bucks. They got that Shea Theodore.

Speaker 7 So they're my team in the West.

Speaker 7 Obviously, I love Mike Coyotes. I'm just trying to be realistic about this.

Speaker 4 They're not in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Are they going to make the playoffs?

Speaker 7 I think the Yotes are going to get that fourth spot in the West. So, you know, who knows? Maybe they can knock off the big boys.
I would probably have to say Tampa.

Speaker 7 I would say Toronto.

Speaker 4 And who else? Who else should I pick? The Flyers?

Speaker 7 Yeah, let's go with Hazy Squad.

Speaker 4 Let's go with with the Flyers. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Why not? They're technically right now outside.

Speaker 5 We're looking in. 12, 7, and 3.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they're two points back. But it's also weird because everyone's got different games played.
Like, they've played two less games than the Penguins, the Capitals, and the Islanders.

Speaker 7 We've really dove into this hockey talk.

Speaker 4 Yeah, let's all right. Let's transition here.

Speaker 5 Fighting talk. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I was going to transition to just say, how are you, Biz? I'm doing good.

Speaker 4 I'm doing good.

Speaker 7 I'm growing up day by day, slowly.

Speaker 7 Why are you laughing over there?

Speaker 4 Hey, I was a late bloomer, man.

Speaker 7 I was immature for a long time, and I'm trying to figure this thing out.

Speaker 4 So you're no longer immature.

Speaker 7 No, I'm like still, yeah, still immature.

Speaker 4 But I'm ahead of Billy over here. That's true.
That's not 22. You're 36.
36, yeah. But yeah, that is true.

Speaker 5 Wait, you're 36?

Speaker 4 Jesus. He's in 1985.
Wait, I look older.

Speaker 4 When's your birthday?

Speaker 7 85, March 11th, coming up in a few days.

Speaker 4 Oh, so you're not 36 yet.

Speaker 7 No, I'm turning 36 in a few days. By the time this comes out, maybe I'm 36.

Speaker 5 Wait, Big Cat's older than you?

Speaker 4 Mm-hmm. Wow.
So is PFT.

Speaker 4 He's having a little bit of a kid. He's got the kids.
And I've got a kid, and

Speaker 4 PFT's got a little quarterlife crisis where he's pretending he's 28.

Speaker 7 Yeah, things are great, man. Very, very fortunate to be associated with Barstool.
By the way, I think we should plug the Pink Whitney Cup that we had today, not to try to get it.

Speaker 4 No, do it. Do it.
Plug it. Go ahead.
How's Jake?

Speaker 4 What are you called it, right? With Jake?

Speaker 7 Jake is unbelievable.

Speaker 4 He loves you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he had the nicest things to say about you on the way back.

Speaker 7 Hey, listen, I think we talked about it. And should we break it to him now, Jake? Is he in here? No, he's not in here.
Oh, he's not?

Speaker 4 Well, I'll break it to you guys.

Speaker 4 This room is not that big.

Speaker 9 We forgot what Jake looked like.

Speaker 4 No, I thought he was hiding behind that monitor over there.

Speaker 7 But he's going to be joining us now. He's going to be leaving you guys to.

Speaker 5 Jake would never.

Speaker 4 That's not even a funny analogy.

Speaker 4 Jake would never. He's going to become our analyst.

Speaker 7 It's payment for Billy Colin Witt Buddy.

Speaker 4 Okay, so let's get to that. So are you going to fight Billy Football at Rough and Rowdy?

Speaker 7 No, we were playing Tommy Sticks today at the PFT Cup.

Speaker 4 He's too nice of a guy. He's too nice of a guy.

Speaker 5 I tried to keep him away as best as I could. They're just too much alike.

Speaker 7 Speaking of betrayal, I was going to say the chemistry between Billy Football and PFT on the coaching bench today was

Speaker 7 hot seat, hot seat, big cat.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay, that's fine. They can go off and do anything they want.
We had a

Speaker 4 two 22-year-old. The reverse 69, actually.

Speaker 5 We had a great rapport going. He was part of my front office.
I was the coach. Billy was our general manager.
We're not going to spoil what happened, but Billy and I had a great time coaching hockey.

Speaker 10 I love hockey. I am so mad.
I played basketball growing up.

Speaker 7 I think we should put Tux on the bottom of those boots and see him out next year.

Speaker 10 I will learn to skate to play in the cup next year, 100%.

Speaker 4 How did you get a tan today when you live in Arizona?

Speaker 7 Because we were standing direct. Me and Jake,

Speaker 7 we were buzzing, man. That guy was so good.
He was so good at remembering all the names.

Speaker 7 And even when they threw him a curveball, where it was this like random draft, so he had to figure out all the names beforehand. Talk about a professional.

Speaker 4 Oh, he's very professional.

Speaker 10 That's what happens when you don't have any head trauma. That's zero.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's the GOAT.

Speaker 5 He was here.

Speaker 7 I think he's saying the fact if you don't have CTE, you're able to remember.

Speaker 4 If you're not going to have CTE, you'd be much more prepared. Yeah.

Speaker 10 No, no, like just pulling names out from the back of your brain.

Speaker 5 It was also Billy's way of casually reminding you that Jake didn't play contact sports. That's why he's

Speaker 4 a hardover. And he wants to write time hard over there.
You guys know him better than I do. No, he tries to be all like, oh, Jake's just a nerd.

Speaker 4 Because Jake actually, you know, you probably have it. Well, no, Grinnell does a good job for you guys, but like

Speaker 4 you have people in your life who just constantly let you down, and then you have people who always come through. Jake always comes through.
Billy constantly lets me down.

Speaker 5 But so he does think that he has reach on you. Therefore, he could take you.
When was the last time you were in a fight?

Speaker 7 That's the problem. Last time I was in a fight, I believe, was my last ever professional game, and I was like Bambi out there.
I'd actually, so I tore my, what was that?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I tore my right ACL halfway through the year, ended up trying to come back because I knew that was going to be my last year at that point. And

Speaker 7 I tried coming back one game. I knew it wasn't stable enough.
So I took another month to like get it strong enough to wear a brace and then finish the season on. Didn't get through.

Speaker 7 Well, sure enough, I come back. A few games before playoffs, we're in San Jose, and I get hit from the side in the second period, and I feel my other one go.

Speaker 7 And I go over to my trainer I'm like hey I think I just tore my other ACL and he was like no

Speaker 7 and we went off after the second and he moved it around and he's like yeah you just tore your other one so I was like I was out but I knew it was my last game it was emotional the coach came in in the

Speaker 7 I'd had that coach in junior and we'd also want to call their cup together not to go back to the fact that you know I want to call their cup not a big deal

Speaker 7 but you know I knew it was gonna be my last game so I went out there and finished the game and I was like banned because I was falling over because I had no ACLs. And I ended up fighting a guy,

Speaker 7 Zach Stortini. They used to call him Huggy Bear in the NHL a little bit.
But he's a tough customer. And I would probably give him the edge.
And that was my last ever professional fight. And

Speaker 7 I've grown up enough to not be fighting in bars and shit now.

Speaker 4 So you were fighting on two torn ACLs. That's fucking crazy.
Yeah. Hockey tough.

Speaker 7 Well, it was like it was sad. I was like, this is going to be my last ever hockey.

Speaker 4 It's all over.

Speaker 7 And, you know, I had no idea what was going to happen with my media career. It was kind of just like your livelihood has been stripped from you.

Speaker 7 And you're like, oh, shit, like, I got to restart this whole fucking thing.

Speaker 4 Did you sit in the locker room for a while with your pads on?

Speaker 7 No, I, uh, no, not, not really. I actually hurried up and got on change and put some ice bags on because I was so swollen.

Speaker 7 You know, I looked like, I looked like the fucking Michelin man with all these ice bags on me. But

Speaker 4 no.

Speaker 4 Did you get surgery on both at the same time?

Speaker 7 No, I still haven't gotten surgery on my right, but I got MCL on my left and I used the, is this the patella tendon? Sure.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's the one that's right.

Speaker 7 And then that to fix my left one. So that was the last, that's another reason why I would be nervous to get in the ring.
I got to get my legs strong again before I do anything.

Speaker 4 That's pretty badass, though, to be like, I've just been walking around on a torn ACL for the last five years.

Speaker 7 So surprisingly, a lot of soccer players play on torn ACLs, and the craziest thing about the soccer guys is they're not allowed to use braces either.

Speaker 5 Wait, yeah, soccer guys play on torn ACLs?

Speaker 7 Yeah, because if you're able to

Speaker 7 get the muscles around it, I think they call it prehab, to where before you actually get ACL surgery, what they recommend doing is allowing the swelling to completely go down and to retrain the muscles around it before you end up going under the knife, because if you do it right away, it just it's a it's not as clean as a recovery.

Speaker 7 At least that's what they told me and that's what a lot of people have heard. So that's why I was the prehab thing seemed like a good idea.

Speaker 7 I just didn't realize I was going to tear the fucking other one when I tried to make a comeback.

Speaker 5 Soccer players are tougher than you might think. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't know if that's true, though.

Speaker 5 That soccer players.

Speaker 4 Well, I'll tell you this.

Speaker 7 There's enough of them out there that have done it before, and they've actually done it without a brace, because you can't use braces in soccer.

Speaker 4 This is why Billy and Biz can't fight. They are the same person.
Yeah. Like, that was a Billy fact.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just throw out a fact, and like, we can't say it.

Speaker 7 Ask troops. I bet you troops would know.

Speaker 5 I don't, I, I highly doubt that, like, world-class

Speaker 4 play on 286. That's a fun fact.
And I might be wrong, and if I'm wrong, but we don't know how to. Yeah, we can't prove that or deny it.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I know that soccer players have come back from surgery in three weeks on a meniscus surgery and played.

Speaker 4 That's different, man. See, you guys could just go back and forth with facts that no one can really prove.
So, wait, who was your fight against?

Speaker 5 Your last fight?

Speaker 7 Zach Stortini. Stortini.
He was playing.

Speaker 7 The most pathetic part about it was they had an AHL team in San Jose,

Speaker 7 and they draw unbelievable for the NHL. They sell it out most nights, but they get like 200 people for AHL games.
So

Speaker 7 my last game was played in front of like 200 people.

Speaker 5 Okay, I'm watching your last fight. You're squaring the guy up.
You're eating a couple rights.

Speaker 7 I got beat.

Speaker 5 Let's see.

Speaker 5 You got a good hold on his jersey there, swing.

Speaker 4 Do you miss it? How's the balance?

Speaker 5 Do you miss just mixing it up?

Speaker 4 No. Chucking some nuts? No, not really.
Not really. Would your adrenaline be just like racing after a fight?

Speaker 7 So what sucked about fighting was

Speaker 7 I wasn't like a natural fighter. I kind of had to start doing it because I wasn't really good enough as a player to where I had to add it to my bag.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 7 I would just get nervous because I had to fight all these guys who were tougher than me all the time, but yet I knew I had to do it in order to survive and potentially get to the NHL.

Speaker 7 So that, so my pregame nap,

Speaker 7 it sucked. I was nervous.
I had a shitty feeling on my stomach the day of games.

Speaker 4 And you were always the guy, like, so was there, were you ever on a team where there was another guy like you that could maybe take a little bit of the load off? Or was it just always, hey, it's Biz.

Speaker 7 like when we when we got a fight biz is coming out to fight no so my last my or sorry when we won the calder cup not a big deal for the third time this episode uh we had a guy named josh gratin who was was like a super heavy so having him on the team is nice although i was still willing to go what call him a super heavy no no it must have been amazing to have him so it's like oh well he can go do it yeah to have anybody else at least as equally as tough as you is nice because you can splare the or uh split the load and most sometimes teams wouldn't even engage because they were like, hey, these guys got a couple mutants on their squad, so we won't even bother.

Speaker 4 Hell yes. Like the Bass Brothers.

Speaker 7 I talked to other guys, though, who did the job and they wouldn't get nervous. Really?

Speaker 7 Yeah, they could just do it naturally.

Speaker 4 How many times did you fight right off of the face-off? Those are my favorite. Like, hey, you want to go, buddy? All right, let's go, buddy.

Speaker 4 And just boom, drop the gloves right off the face-off.

Speaker 7 Yeah, because I wasn't a relevant enough player to where I was out there getting in the mix most nights. Where some nights in the NHL, I would legitimately play two minutes.

Speaker 4 So they would send you out. They'd be like, all right, Biz, get out there.
You know what you got to do? Yeah,

Speaker 7 at that point, it didn't have to be told to me. Right.
And then fighting in the league became

Speaker 7 more and more irrelevant, especially for guys who couldn't contribute offensively and who were just knuckle-draggers, as what I would consider myself at that time.

Speaker 4 Now, this is fascinating to me. Sorry for all the questions, but was there ever a time where a guy wouldn't go? Like, you just were sent out there ready to go and he just

Speaker 4 turtled?

Speaker 10 Fell down, maybe?

Speaker 4 No, just before he wouldn't even go. He just because you know, you can say no to a fight.
Yeah, yeah, not often.

Speaker 7 Sometimes it would, but it's for different reasons.

Speaker 7 There's like a psychological momentum shift, at least what some coaches think. And I believed in it too.

Speaker 7 Whereas when you had the lead, you never wanted to engage because you wouldn't want to lose a fight and then potentially lose that momentum. Some people think that's the dumbest thing ever.

Speaker 7 Like, what does that have anything to do? But if it's a, let's say it's a home crowd and you're up, you're on the road, right?

Speaker 7 It's their home crowd and you're up 3-1, and all of a sudden you lose the fight, their whole crowd's going nuts.

Speaker 7 Sometimes the energy will put another team on their heels. I just think that maybe your team is a little bit mentally weak if that's going to be the deciding factor.

Speaker 7 Although there's been cases in my NHL career, I remember I had a really good one against Jay Rosehill. He played for the Philadelphia Flyers.
He's a lefty, too. He's tough as nails.

Speaker 7 I would probably give him slight edge in that one, too, but he was smart about it. So he got out there against our captain, Shane Doan, and he kept taking runs at our skill guys.

Speaker 7 So at that point, we were up 3-1.

Speaker 7 I look at our coach and I say, I'm fucking going this guy. Like, I can't let this, this is embarrassing.
I look like a clown right now because he's rubbing my nose and shit in my own building.

Speaker 7 So we had a pretty good dust up.

Speaker 7 I mean, PFT, you can be the judge of that. And

Speaker 7 I still think it was a good scrap. I don't think that the fight lost momentum, but we ended up losing 5-3.
They scored 4 and answered.

Speaker 5 So you're up 3-1. You guys both got a couple shots in there.

Speaker 5 One thing I love about a really good fighter is you have to have that grasp of the jersey so you can kind of control them with your jab hand.

Speaker 5 And then even if you get beat, if you have a good grasp of that, you can pull the guy down so he hits the ice like right before you. And then it looks like you won.

Speaker 5 And then maybe you get a shot on him who's down, even though you get knocked out.

Speaker 7 Yeah, most traditional

Speaker 7 hockey viewers and who have watched enough fights can usually vote on who won the fight, who got the best clean shots in.

Speaker 7 You talked about that reach and grab, though. Yeah, that's an important aspect, right? Because that's everything as far as what your balance is off the hop.
And

Speaker 7 there's a funny one you can watch, and I call it Poking the Bear, but I fought Ryan Reeves in St. Louis to where we got off to a horrible start, and

Speaker 7 he got the no from his coach, probably, because he's like, we have momentum. I don't want to give it up, and there's no point in fighting you right now.

Speaker 7 You're probably a liability liability on the ice. So I gave him a little kick in the back of the leg and

Speaker 7 sure enough, on that fight, I went into grab and I missed. But Revo's got such long arms, he got me clean and he just started wailing to where I'm like, no,

Speaker 4 you started it.

Speaker 7 And I looked like a clown because I poked the bear.

Speaker 7 But I agree with you. That first grab is so important.
because it's it's everything as far as your leverage. And if you miss and the other guy gets it, look out.

Speaker 4 You're going to be eating a knuckle sound.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he got control control of you pretty good in that. Oh, right in the back of the head, and then body slam.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that was pretty massive.

Speaker 7 That's really the Earth's crust.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I do like that you were, you know, you gotta get it. And then he gave it the belt after, and the home crowd went absolutely fucking bananas.

Speaker 5 So, like, in that Bruins Capitals game from a couple days ago,

Speaker 5 one of the young guys on the Bruins went after Ovie. Trent Frederick.
Yeah, and Ovie kind of shook him off and was like, I'm just not going to, I'm going to stand here.

Speaker 5 I'm not going to move, but I'm not going to fight you.

Speaker 5 I think Ovie probably heard some of the criticism from the playoffs a couple years ago when he fought the young kid on Carolina and just like broke his face.

Speaker 7 So sometimes you get these ultimate skilled guys like Ovechkin, and Ovechkin's a bear. He's like 240 pounds.
I mean, he is a mammoth of a human being.

Speaker 7 So he's so skilled and good. Normally, those other guys he's lining up against aren't fighters either.

Speaker 7 And if they were going to pick one, it ain't going to be against Ovi because they don't want to fight a Russian bear.

Speaker 7 So this Shvetsnikov poked the bear, as I said earlier, and Ovi just cocked him him with a hard right. And that's pretty much been the only noise that Ovi's heard since as far as guys challenging him.

Speaker 7 This Trent Frederick guy's trying to make a name for himself, but Ovi ain't bothering himself with a guy, probably of Trent Frederick's caliber, at least to this point.

Speaker 7 And I don't know if you guys saw the cup check afterward, though. He stuck him in the nuts and got a $5,000 fine, which I think Ovi's got that in his fucking cup holder in his car.

Speaker 5 Putin just slid the black card.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he gave him the black card. Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's a real thing, right?

Speaker 7 yeah i don't want to be starting rumors here i have heard from a decent amount of people that yeah putin gives out this like special black card to uh to a bunch of uh hardcore rough russian athletes who make the country proud yeah i and that it could be a complete myth but i think we should just roll with it because

Speaker 4 have you seen his uh putin's uh like hunting lodge that's basically an entire it's like three billion dollars it's the whole reason why there's like it looks like a louis vuitton it's well not only that one but there's like this whole you've obviously i've seen it yeah on the i think it's on the caspian sea and he keeps saying that it's not his house and it's like it's insane it's a it's a whole country basically the whole house is made of marble and gold the most insane above it reads v there's like all these tunnels there's actually an underground uh ice ring He has an underground ice ring.

Speaker 4 There's a big hill, and underneath it is an ice ring.

Speaker 5 And you've seen his game. He's pretty nice out there.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 4 He scores like seven goals.

Speaker 7 Okay, so I don't know if Wynn has ever told this story on your podcast. This is unbelievable.
Where he was playing in Russia.

Speaker 7 He showed up to the rink one day and there was these

Speaker 7 metal detectors and never was like that. He was like, what's going on here? And I think there was a Russian player at the time going into the building and he kept asking him.

Speaker 7 And I don't think he got an answer before they got into the building.

Speaker 7 But then ultimately, when they're walking in together after going through these metal detectors, he was made aware that he was like, Putin, Putin.

Speaker 7 Putin had like rented out the ice at this building that they played out of, and there was a bunch of people people in the crowd and it was just putin on the ice and he was skating around no goalie no nothing and he would just skate down the ice and put the puck in the empty net and these people who were asked to be there would stand up and start clapping

Speaker 7 but you know the players were not allowed to go to the ice to watch the only way wit could get out there is he went to where they used to uh saw the sticks to where i think the zamboni entrance was to where you get a look at what the hell was going on so there was about four or five hundred people in the crowd putin was just skating down to the other end after he picked it up out of the net, score another one, and the same people would just keep cheating.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 4 So I'm not a Putin guy. I think he's bad.
I mean, no, I'm not. Yeah, right.
I don't think any of us are Putin guy.

Speaker 4 But that type of story. We're dead.
No, but that type of story, though. I'm known yet, Hank.

Speaker 4 Tell my parents I love them. It is so perfect because if I had that type of money and power, I would do the exact same thing.

Speaker 4 I would like invite a bunch of 10-year-olds over to my house and just swat their shit into like the third third row that's what chelsea bieber does right yeah like he hires people to suck at basketball yeah right like that would that actually like i would i would build up a baseball field and i'd have fucking i've actually said this to karabis i was like if i paid you a million dollars a year would you just throw me fucking meatballs and i'd send them to the moon and and he's like would i have to pretend i'm trying i'm like yeah a million dollars a year he's like yeah i'd do it They're like, okay, that's what I would do.

Speaker 4 If I could do that and have him just like actually be mad and throw his glove and just fucking moonshot moon.

Speaker 7 I haven't really given it any thought as to what I would do if I had that obscene amount of money.

Speaker 4 It'd be incredible though.

Speaker 7 Just ask Billy, Billy, what would you do if you had that much money?

Speaker 4 I'd buy a shitload of cold. I don't know if I can say go.

Speaker 10 I'd probably buy a farm somewhere.

Speaker 8 Just chill.

Speaker 10 Maybe, oh, I want Highland cattle.

Speaker 10 I want a herd of Highland cattle.

Speaker 5 Look it up. It's sick.
They're like these super furry cattle.

Speaker 7 Oh, okay. Like nice-looking cattle.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You want like big wired-hair pointer-type dogs that have like goatees and shit?

Speaker 10 No, I do.

Speaker 5 They're sick.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 We'll take your word for it.

Speaker 10 Just do some gentleman farming.

Speaker 5 That sounds awesome. Yeah, I would get.

Speaker 4 You know what I would do?

Speaker 5 I would get one of those couches that Doc Anal had in Tiger King. Yeah.
That's purchase number one.

Speaker 5 The huge, the room that's just a couch. My entire house would just be couches.

Speaker 7 I think Kanye did a good job, and I think it's going back to what Billy said, the farm aspect.

Speaker 7 Didn't he buy a place in Wyoming, and he has these crazy vehicles that they can go on water, land, what else? Can they fly to? Yep.

Speaker 7 Yeah, they can do a bunch of shit. And I think he bought it from overseas, and you got to import it, and it's quite a bit of cash.

Speaker 4 That's actually not. That's not a good thing.

Speaker 7 And then write sick beats and drop some fire. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's good life.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 4 Do you like our that's the last question? Do you like our studio? What do you think you like?

Speaker 7 I love your guys' studio. It has a lot of character.

Speaker 7 I would love to be able to sit down with the Spit and Shickles podcast and do it live. It's just, I think that, you know, me living in Arizona, it's not ideal.

Speaker 7 I just feel like we have so much more rhythm when we end up meeting up together wherever we are.

Speaker 7 We just went to Florida to

Speaker 4 Jupiter.

Speaker 7 Oh, it's a blast. I mean, it's just like the flow is so much better.
We live in this.

Speaker 7 Well, during the last year, I don't think we really had a choice anyway.

Speaker 5 I think we've gotten good enough on Zoom, but there's something about being together yeah okay how about this here's my last question what advice do you have for jj watt moving to arizona you want to give him some of uh some of biz nasty's tips of the trade

Speaker 7 we're gonna find this throwback for you i think we're gonna get um i think that arizona and scottsdale area mainly is is one of the best places to live in the country it's been very good to me i'm really really grateful that when I was put on waivers that they picked me up because I don't think I could have ever seen myself moving to Scottsdale, Arizona.

Speaker 7 And And for eight months of the year, it's unbelievable. But my advice for J.J.
Watt would probably be just be

Speaker 7 stay away from. I mean, he's married, right? He's got a girl.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I would say it's probably

Speaker 4 the sugar daddy capital of the world.

Speaker 7 Stay away from the thoughts.

Speaker 4 Got it. Got it.

Speaker 7 That's good. There's a lot of.

Speaker 5 Don't bring your girl around, Paul Bissonet. Yeah,

Speaker 4 I got a girl now, guys. Yeah, I'm dialed in.
Grown up. Yeah, farmers don't know.
Oh, here we go. Here, and here is your Robek.
What size do you wear?

Speaker 7 Double XL. Thanks, baby.

Speaker 4 Why don't we give him a size that he actually is?

Speaker 7 Am I going to be joining you with the cycle or what?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Let's give him an XL.
You're an XL? L.

Speaker 4 L? L. Yeah, he can rock it.
L. All right, so there it is: a parting gift.
How many podcasts have you gone on that giving you a parting gift as you go from Roeback, R-H-O-P-A-C-K?

Speaker 7 I haven't done a live podcast since probably the last time I was in here, maybe.

Speaker 4 Well, no, you just said you did one in Florida last week. Well, yeah, but

Speaker 7 my own podcast winners.

Speaker 4 Spit and chick looks best podcasts out there, number one in Canada, not a big deal. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I got a Calder Cup winner, a guy who got traded from a Stanley Cup team.

Speaker 7 Quebec Pee Wee Championship. Yep.

Speaker 7 In 97, went one.

Speaker 4 And maybe the most gregarious racon tour of all time in Rearat.

Speaker 7 He's won more Stanley Cups than probably anyone in the world.

Speaker 4 That's true.

Speaker 4 He's been with a lot of copies. So one thing about R.A.

Speaker 7 is the forest gump of the hockey world. In every single Stanley Cup celebration, he's like behind the scenes, just getting a picture in there.

Speaker 7 I think he's got one with, I know Detroit, he's got a picture with Darren McCarty, and then they pigeon-tossed him out of the room and a couple other. But it's been a fun dynamic, man.

Speaker 7 He's such an interesting guy. And like I said earlier, I'm just grateful to be part of this Barstool family.

Speaker 5 Walk me through real quick the Toachi's incident that happened. And have you guys recovered from that?

Speaker 8 And also, is Memes ever coming back?

Speaker 7 Memes got deleted off Instagram. He broke too many rules.
So he's in purgatory right now.

Speaker 7 I think what Gaz is trying to work out is a 30-day suspension. So we hope that Gaz can get some strings.

Speaker 4 We've got to get him back.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he's one of a kind.

Speaker 5 So tow cheese.

Speaker 7 The Tochi's incident was just R.A. rubbing his toe cheese on Wit, and sometimes R.A.
is just a little bit oblivious and now has Wit's got some fungus that he can't get rid of.

Speaker 4 Wait, he was rubbing his foot on

Speaker 4 R.A.'s foot? He's screaming.

Speaker 4 He had like sandals on and he just like

Speaker 4 And then I would show you the video.

Speaker 4 He was like absent-minded when he did it.

Speaker 5 But then you watched back on the replay and you're like, holy shit.

Speaker 7 Whit is now living in a bubble in quarantine, so he can't.

Speaker 4 A new coronavirus.

Speaker 7 Oh my god, you can never do a live podcast anymore.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Tilly Ray ruined it.

Speaker 5 Billy, thank you for not ever doing that to us. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, you probably will.

Speaker 7 You guys thought you had it bad.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No, we don't.

Speaker 7 Billy's fine. Thanks for having me, guys.
This was awesome.

Speaker 12 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy silverado built for the hustle ready for the game chevy silverado is america's most dependable full-size truck whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff the silverado is one ride that's always game ready just like football it's about grit grind and getting it done head to chevy.com to learn more and build your own chevy silverado all right let's wrap up we got guys on chicks i love paul paul's the best biz is the best He's fucking awesome.

Speaker 4 It's great to have him in person, too.

Speaker 4 You ready?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I think we should start to brainstorm on maybe some new.

Speaker 4 We're starting to run a lot of fakes, a lot of kind of fashions that have been insane.

Speaker 8 So we should maybe

Speaker 8 think of some new ideas. If any AWLs have ideas for the end of Wednesday shows, what are you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 10 Bring back Jimbos?

Speaker 8 That's a Friday thing.

Speaker 4 Fridays, we're Jimbo. Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 8 Kind of blended Dreambos and a Firefest. We could.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Just keep it something to keep on your mind.

Speaker 4 Or something more real stuff, you know. I don't know.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I agree with you. Maybe some voicemails or something.
Who knows? knows oh um

Speaker 8 hey fellas when should the woman start paying when they first start seeing a guy i've been on four dates now with one guy and i'm feeling pretty bad that i haven't offered to pay once and all you have to do is the reach just just make me think that you're attempting to that's that's really what guys are looking for is the gesture i think it's one i think like after four dates said four dates

Speaker 4 I think like somewhere in the next few. And it doesn't have to be some crazy, you know, big dinner, but yeah, I would throw down once.

Speaker 5 I feel like the schedule is the guy pays for the first few dates. Maybe after a couple of them, you do the fake reach for the tab.
The guy still pays.

Speaker 5 And then when you have dinner at one of your homes, a lot of times that's the first time where the girl's like, I want to make you dinner.

Speaker 4 So you're Burger King.

Speaker 5 I'm Burger King. Well, because there are women out there who are great chefs that are sometimes unappreciated.

Speaker 4 Right. That's right.

Speaker 5 But that's when you. 100%.
That's when you load up on the wine. That's when you load up on a nice dish.
And that's your way because you're putting your heart and soul into it. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I like that.

Speaker 10 Depends on who chooses the restaurant.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 4 Also kind of true. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, if you choose, yeah.
If she's like, hey, I want to take you out. Or, hey, let's go here.
Yeah, okay, Billy. That's a good addition.

Speaker 8 Hey, Big Cat MD Ribs, Mr. 35, and Rhea's BF.
My boyfriend of two years listens to every one of your episodes on his way to work.

Speaker 8 We've been living together for a few months, and he had the same job for the same amount of time. Well, he wants to move somewhere closer so he can match his commute to your episode length.

Speaker 8 He says that he hates not having to, you guys listen to on Tuesdays and Thursdays because he listens to half on his way to work and the other half on his way home on Monday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Speaker 8 He's actually looking it up. He's actually looking up houses and new jobs that would make it so he can listen to your episodes every day of the week.
Is this normal? Please help.

Speaker 4 We just need to go a little longer now for him.

Speaker 5 Yeah, either that or on Tuesdays, Thursdays, listen to the yak and macro dosing.

Speaker 4 Or just put it on half speed. Yeah, put it on half speed.
We'll sound drunk. We can go a little longer for this guy.
But I like that. I like the commitment to get a little bit.

Speaker 4 I mean, he's just asking to get a shorter commute, which is a good thing no matter what. So I don't think he has to say it like, hey, I'm doing it because of PMT.
Just say, hey,

Speaker 4 shorter commute is better, period.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's what's kind of messed up about podcasting is back in the day when you used to drive to work, you would have a rhythm going.

Speaker 5 So I knew that I would start my drive right when, what's his name, was going to be be playing the parody song on Mike and Mike in the morning. Joaquin, I think.

Speaker 5 Joaquin was going to do his trivia sometimes, a buster only. And then by the time I would get to work, it would be immediately at the second commercial break.

Speaker 5 But now you can't time anything out that way.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, you could just listen to Greeny all day, every day.

Speaker 5 That's true. Greeny's always there for you.

Speaker 9 Yeah, he's always on.

Speaker 5 My recommendation is just turn. Mike Greenberg is always on at any hour of any day.
So just listen to that. Yep.

Speaker 4 He's like the eternal flame.

Speaker 10 Hey guys, specifically Big Cat.

Speaker 8 My boyfriend constantly drips pee on his boxers after peeing. It's like he doesn't know how to shake.
I think it's disgusting, but every time I bring it up, he just shrugs.

Speaker 8 What can I do to get him to stop?

Speaker 4 Wait, so

Speaker 4 this guy's walking around his boxers all the time?

Speaker 4 Specifically for me,

Speaker 4 how did she know that I have that problem?

Speaker 5 I don't know. You look like a small drop of pee on the front of your boxers.

Speaker 4 I mean, I do. Guilty is charged.
I got pissed on me all the time. You really do.
Yeah, I just get in and get out. I don't, I'll do maybe one shake.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Sometimes I do no hands. Yeah.
Yeah. So guilty is charged.

Speaker 4 I would say don't shame him. It's just a little pee.
And guess what? He's efficient.

Speaker 5 I'm an efficient guy. And it's sterile.
Yeah. Listen, if you're a man on the go, you don't always have time for the third shake.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 5 Or like that guy that we talked about a couple weeks ago that uses toilet paper to wipe his dick after he peeves.

Speaker 4 That guy is slow, lazy. He's always late to shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah. What are you doing? Wiping your dick again? Yep.

Speaker 8 Mm-hmm. It's also like sometimes when you turn a shower off, but something's leaking out.
Like sometimes sometimes the pee is done. It just you have no choice.
It just comes out five minutes later.

Speaker 4 Are you okay, Hank?

Speaker 4 It just leaks out. Yeah, right.

Speaker 5 Have you had a test recently?

Speaker 4 Yeah, the old child. Just leaking a little pee.
Yeah, some walking and just, you know, just flying out. It's actually a mark of diarrhea out of your dick.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's a mark of an efficient male. If you just have a wide urethra that's always constantly

Speaker 8 my bladder at all. It just, whatever.

Speaker 4 You have a child's bladder. We all know that.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 7 That was, I mean, I was making a joke that you just, that was rude.

Speaker 4 Do you have a child's bladder? Yeah. I mean, you do.

Speaker 5 Are you saying you don't have a child's bladder?

Speaker 8 I was, you know, I was trying to, you know.

Speaker 4 Would you say that you have a strong bladder? Yeah. Really? Yeah.
I don't know.

Speaker 8 My piss is hard.

Speaker 4 I piss hard. Yeah, what's when you go? You go balls to the wall.

Speaker 8 We were in a stream strength competition.

Speaker 4 Oh, so you got a wide hole?

Speaker 8 And I just pushed hard.

Speaker 4 Maybe Maybe you got a jacked-up prostate.

Speaker 5 Maybe you got swole.

Speaker 10 Did you pinch the end like a hose?

Speaker 4 So it's like a hole. Yeah, no, actually I put my finger

Speaker 4 on the tip.

Speaker 8 I just dig deep and bend my knees a little bit and just go hard.

Speaker 5 We should invent a penis cork. That just like it stays in place all day.

Speaker 4 You already have them already. What?

Speaker 8 Your stones. Yes.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, but that's coming from inside.

Speaker 5 The stones don't block the pee. I'm saying something that goes in the end.
Just like a wine bottle. You cork it up or like a champagne bottle.

Speaker 4 So that you can leak.

Speaker 5 You go to the bathroom and you shake it a couple times.

Speaker 8 Are you still stoned?

Speaker 5 I'm stoned. Yeah, I have an ultrasound, actually.

Speaker 4 When?

Speaker 5 Next week. I'm going to have to do a gender reveal for my kidney stones.
But yeah, they're going to figure out because they're not sure if there's one that's...

Speaker 8 That's at the same place as the vasectomy to go two for one.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know what? That's actually similar to that, except if they want to destroy the kidney stones, they have to go up there and then shoot a laser, like Armageddon, and break them up.

Speaker 5 And then apparently, that is...

Speaker 8 They've told me that that would be leakage city afterwards so I'm trying to avoid that at all costs but I think I'll be good I think the stones are small enough I can piss him out all right two more hey buffcat pfi and honk my boyfriend recently got laid off from his job and moved to Colorado he broke up with me shortly after getting laid off and said he needed time to grow as a man what should I say to get him to return to the northeast and is it normal for guys to pick up and move after losing their job Thanks.

Speaker 5 Yeah, guys are always on the lookout for that one point in life where they can just do something.

Speaker 5 Sometimes it takes kicking the ass to make any sort of move. Getting fired is the perfect opportunity to do something like that.
And plus, once you go to Rotto, you don't come back.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think you got to let him go and never worry about him again. Because when he said he wanted to...
What was the quote?

Speaker 8 He needed time to grow as a man.

Speaker 4 He just wants to fuck. So just

Speaker 10 find someone else who respects you and treats you

Speaker 4 as the queen that you are.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 5 if you were to come back from Colorado, he wouldn't be the same. He'd be different.
He'd be wearing sweaters like what Hank's wearing right now. He'd have like a flat-brim hat on all the time.

Speaker 4 I like that sweater, Hank.

Speaker 5 No, it's a great sweater. I'm just saying it's a very rado sweater.

Speaker 7 I like that sweater, Hank. Thank you.

Speaker 8 I'll save it for Firefest, but what?

Speaker 4 It's been a weird day for me. Why?

Speaker 4 What happened?

Speaker 8 All right, I'll say it early. I got a haircut, and the amount of gas that I've been receiving.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, I made everyone clap for you. That was uncomfortable.

Speaker 8 But then, yeah, so I walked in, Big Cow's like, everyone clap for Hank. Which was like, you know, that was kind of funny.

Speaker 8 But then I've been walking around and everyone's like stopping me and and being like, oh my God.

Speaker 4 That means your hair was terrible. Right.
Yeah. Right.
But no one told me from you're on the other side.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because, Hank, I'll be real honest with your new haircut. It's a decent haircut.

Speaker 4 It's like the fact that it's great haircut.

Speaker 5 Well, it's a decent haircut, but that's the fact that the fact people are freaking out about that totally normal, decent haircut is like, wow, I really must have looked like

Speaker 4 from home alone before. Right.
Yes. Right.

Speaker 8 All right, last one.

Speaker 4 So you're mad that we didn't say anything. But I thought you'd kind of given up.
I thought we all just kicked out of the barcode.

Speaker 4 To be honest,

Speaker 4 I thought it was just like, you know, it's coronavirus, pandemic. Like, you were just, you just kind of had thrown in the towel.

Speaker 8 I was more going for, like, yo, look at my sick flow, which no one really did. Oh, no.

Speaker 4 See, I gave it in. I was more like a, I'm going to give Hank space because he just doesn't care anymore.
So I'm going to let him do his thing.

Speaker 4 Once he wore the pants into the studio, that was really the turning point.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Rhea absolutely hated it. And I was like, no, it's cool.
She's like, no, I'm not even going to pretend to be nice. Like, I hate it.
Yeah. And she was like, you know, proven right.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
Does Normie big big time?

Speaker 5 Does Normie recognize you? Yeah, of course. She's like, I better behave myself because my real dad's here.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The fuck up step dad.

Speaker 4 She's work hard for you. Of course.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's been happening recently? Uh-oh. You just gave me a look like, yeah.

Speaker 8 I've been doing some testing, and it's oh, no.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 You've been jerking him off?

Speaker 8 Ria was gone last week, and the humps were like significantly higher. So I think he just, like, it's something about a girl being around or not being around.

Speaker 4 I don't know if

Speaker 4 I don't know man

Speaker 8 you know I'm just looking at this I'm looking at the stats the numbers like Rhea's come home and he hasn't been humping like crazy Rhea was gone he was going nuts on his fucking hamburger so you gotta be like yo norm like that's your mom dude yeah I just threw some porn on and he stopped

Speaker 8 all right last one sup boys especially curry ruined PFT at curry ruined huh I don't know. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now.

Speaker 8 Whenever he sees me, he will always say, hello, my sweets, in a baby voice. And I've always found it to be cute and endearing.

Speaker 8 We recently went to visit his parents. COVID safe, of course.

Speaker 4 Who cares?

Speaker 4 Well, actually, we care. Yeah.
Don't.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but no, but who cares for this?

Speaker 4 Yeah, who cares? Like, I don't... You didn't need to.
I care that you do it, but I don't care that you added it in this. Upon arriving, we were greeted by his parents.

Speaker 4 What are we going to send the police? Like, well, hey, actually, if you've sending guys on chicks in recently and you haven't told us that you were COVID safe, we have sent the police to your house.

Speaker 5 Wait, so your boyfriend's dick leaks, but is he wearing a mask while it leaks?

Speaker 8 Upon arriving, we were greeted by his parents and more importantly, his childhood dog.

Speaker 4 Wait, greeted?

Speaker 4 That seems like that wasn't safe.

Speaker 8 As the dog went to greet him, I overheard him say, hello, my sweets, in the same exact tone and voice to his 12-year-old border collie.

Speaker 8 I didn't pay much mind to it, but he kept saying it across the whole weekend repeatedly. Also, he didn't say it to me once while we were there.
It has been bothering me ever since.

Speaker 8 Am I like a dog to him? Should I say something or should I just let it go and forget it?

Speaker 5 No, so I think guys just have kind of two modes. Stuff that you really like and stuff that you don't really like.
And if it's something that you really like, you have like one go-to thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, this is one way you act around it. This is actually a huge compliment.
Yeah. This is like, he loves you as much as he loves his dog.
That's a huge compliment.

Speaker 5 It might not sound like it to you, but it actually is the, it's the nicest thing that we can ever do.

Speaker 4 If he did it to a cat, different story. But a dog, come on.

Speaker 4 Let it fly.

Speaker 5 Does he pick up your shit?

Speaker 5 That would be a major simp move. That would be very.
That would be too far.

Speaker 4 Too far.

Speaker 4 All right. Billy?

Speaker 10 Alberta, Canada is the largest population in the world that is rat-free.

Speaker 4 I did know that, actually. I knew that.
They actually have fines, too.

Speaker 10 Yeah, no rats.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they have fines.

Speaker 4 I think someone brought a rat, like a bunch of rats, and the guy had to go to jail. Yeah.
That's a fucked up. Now I'm doing Billy facts back to Billy.

Speaker 5 That's a fucked up, like going to Alberta and bringing your own rat. Yeah.

Speaker 4 99. 18.
8. 77.

Speaker 9 I actually got

Speaker 9 the lottery machine right.

Speaker 4 It didn't count. No, it doesn't.
32.

Speaker 4 I said it didn't. No, me too, actually.

Speaker 8 Five times in a row.

Speaker 4 8, 24.

Speaker 4 Oh, wait, that's 99.

Speaker 5 Did you get that? It's 99. Did you get it?

Speaker 4 I'm two in a row. Oh, my God.
No way.

Speaker 4 Wait, did you say 99?

Speaker 4 No way. I always said 99.
Wow. Wow.
Wait, that's not 66? Let me see what you're saying. Holy shit.
I mean, I mean, the one. Line on the bottom.
Line on the bottom. That's 99.
That's 99.

Speaker 7 Wow.

Speaker 4 I'm two for two in my last two. Welcome to the club.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you did two for two, right? No, just welcome to the club. Oh, okay.
Yeah. Who's in the club? Me, Liam, Billy, and Jake.

Speaker 5 What are the odds of that?

Speaker 4 Wow. Getting two in a row.
Two in a row. Well, it's no, don't say you're stupid.

Speaker 4 Thank you. This is.
I tell you what.

Speaker 4 This guy's about to get hot and gambling. This guy's about to get hot and gambling at the right fucking time.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 5 Talking away.

Speaker 5 I don't know what I'm to say. I'm saved anyway.

Speaker 5 Today is another day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 5 No, I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 5 Shy it away.

Speaker 4 No, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me,

Speaker 4 take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone.

Speaker 4 And I've done

Speaker 4 too.

Speaker 4 Needless to say,

Speaker 4 I hardly said it's about me, stole it away.

Speaker 4 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 4 Say up to me.

Speaker 4 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 4 Say up to me.

Speaker 4 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 every day I'm doing

Speaker 4 things that can stay

Speaker 4 a little rifle

Speaker 4 Just to play my world

Speaker 4 You're all the friends I've got to remember

Speaker 4 Be shy and away

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway

Speaker 4 Be shy and away

Speaker 4 Love you coming for you anyway

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me,

Speaker 4 take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a

Speaker 4 day,

Speaker 4 it's pardon my take presented by Bar Stools.