FBI agent Joe Pistone (Donnie Brasco), Russ Wilson Wants A Trade, Maybe And We Have Some More Investment Ideas

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have a very special guest. It is Donny Brasco, the real Donny Brasco, Joe Pistone.

Speaker 1 If you don't know the story, if you hadn't seen the movie, Joe Pistone went undercover in the New York mafia, in a crime family for five years in the late 70s, early 80s,

Speaker 1 ended up like 200 indictments just based on his investigation. He lived the life.
He's in witness protection still. Fascinating interview, something a little different.

Speaker 1 So make sure you listen to that.

Speaker 1 We also have russell wilson maybe demanding a trade but also not it's very weird russell wilson day deshaun watson adamantly demanding a trade fire fest of the week hank has a new idea to get us rich which i think he's going to share are you going to share fuck yeah you're going to share packed friday show When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 5 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of work to be done.

Speaker 1 Lord is the handle, Lord Washington.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down

Speaker 2 Welcome to part of my take is in advance Ryzen 5G.

Speaker 3 Today is Friday, February 26th, PFT.

Speaker 1 Your mind, it's your greatest weapon. Agreed.
Always persevere, always have a great perspective, and always have a great purpose in your life. Agreed.

Speaker 1 Even though we don't get to play today, we always win.

Speaker 2 Fact.

Speaker 1 Winning is the only option. Hashtag grateful.

Speaker 3 The best is ahead.

Speaker 1 Also, fact. Cross-training made easier with my hashtag Bose frame, Team Bose, hashtag Bose.

Speaker 2 Also, correct.

Speaker 1 These are the quotes I will live by if Russell Wilson becomes a bear.

Speaker 3 There you go. There you go.
Your mind is your greatest weapon.

Speaker 1 Your mind is your greatest weapon.

Speaker 3 What about my ass?

Speaker 1 Nope. Your mind.
Okay. Your mind is your greatest.
Russell Wilson has demanded kind of the most passive aggressive trade request in the history of sports.

Speaker 3 Well, it's kind of like he's entering the transfer portal. It's not really a full demand.

Speaker 3 He says, I'm not requesting a trade unless it's to a team that I would want to be traded to. Do you know what he's asking?

Speaker 1 He's basically in a marriage and he's asking for a hall pass. And then he listed like six different women that he would like to have sex.
Like, hey, actually, our neighbor is a hall pass. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 It's not Jennifer Anderson. It's Bethany who lives next door.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's your friend from the PTA. Right.
She'd be on my Hall Pass. Yeah, you tossed in a couple like Scarlett Johansson's on there, Hallie Berry, your mom,

Speaker 3 and then we'll go with Megan Fox.

Speaker 1 Okay, so he has said to the Seahawks he doesn't want to be traded, but if they were to trade him, hypothetically speaking, he would want to go to one of four teams: the Raiders, the Bears, the Saints, and the Jets.

Speaker 1 No, the Dolphins. The Dolphins.
I've seen the Jets as well for some reason. Okay, not the Jets.

Speaker 1 Just the fact that Russell Wilson has put the Bears in this list is like maybe the biggest win the Bears have had in a while.

Speaker 2 It's huge.

Speaker 1 Six or seven years. Actually, our friend Robert Mays had a tweet that sums up the Bears perfectly.
He listed the best Bears of all time, QBs.

Speaker 1 Number one, Sid Luckman, number two, Jay Cutler, number three, Eric Kramer. Number four, Russell Wilson saying he'd play for the Bears.

Speaker 3 I put him at five. I put Sexy Rexy ahead of him, the original RG3.

Speaker 3 And now, this is something that J.J. Watt, I don't think, would ever do.

Speaker 3 Something like what Russ is pulling.

Speaker 3 J.J. Watt would demand a trade.

Speaker 3 He would demand his release so that he wouldn't become a burden on the team and he could go out and not be a distraction to the locker room. Russell Wilson, on the other hand.

Speaker 1 He totally wouldn't milk his free agency, period.

Speaker 1 You can't sign right now.

Speaker 3 Mr. Unlimited without me.

Speaker 1 The league year hasn't started, Hank.

Speaker 1 Would you want him to tamper? No. You want J.J.
Warden? listen if russell wilson somehow some way i now i'm let me take a step back

Speaker 1 let me let me look at me can i let me let me just say though that if you went to the bears something terrible would happen of course of course but i i still would love to to have that terrible thing happen for the day that he signed for me to be that excuse you know what it's a future me prop home big cat in offseason where russell wilson is your quarterback would be the best period of time in bears history right exactly it'd be incredible yeah i think that he threw the bears in here because he was like, okay, I want to go to the Saints because Sean Payton.

Speaker 1 I want to go to the Dolphins because I want to live in Miami. I want to go to the Raiders because I want to live in Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 I want to go to Chicago because there's a chance that Ryan Pace will pay me $700 million.

Speaker 1 And so that is where the Bears, you know, and guess what? I don't think Russell Wilson is worth $700 million, but I also...

Speaker 2 Never got an MVP vote.

Speaker 1 I would love to just have a competent quarterback. And that would be a very fun experience.

Speaker 3 I think that he threw the Bears in there as like kind of throwing a bone for the Seahawks because he knows that if the bears are in the discussion, his trade value goes up.

Speaker 3 And so that means that other teams would be able to give a little bit more money. I think he said Dallas too.
It's basically all cities that Sierra would want to live in.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Where is a little bit sunnier? Where can you be outdoors for eight months of the year?

Speaker 1 All I'm going to say is that if Russell Wilson somehow, someway becomes a bear, I will buy into

Speaker 1 I might I might actually

Speaker 1 become the most religious person in the world.

Speaker 2 I'm unlimited.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just praise Jesus every single day. Like I will, I will tweet about the corniest sayings, everything.
I'll be at Mr. Unlimited.
I'll do post-game

Speaker 1 videos in black and white to Kobe thinking about Kobe when Russell Wilson plays for the Bears. Like the Bears beat the Lions in week three.
I mean,

Speaker 3 you and Russell do have like similar fashion senses. Wine shirts.
Wine shirts. Jeans.
Jeans.

Speaker 2 You're both dads.

Speaker 3 Dads, yep.

Speaker 1 And that's really where it's.

Speaker 3 You both drink water sometimes.

Speaker 1 Sometimes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm

Speaker 1 ready. I'm ready to get hurt.
I'm ready to just...

Speaker 2 This is, you know what, though?

Speaker 1 I don't really care. Just the fact that he mentioned it, it is really like

Speaker 1 it could be a total throw-in, but he put us in the sentence that said that he would consider being a Chicago Bear. And I'm like, all right, great.
Someone wants us.

Speaker 3 That's cool. I don't think he's going to go anywhere.
No, I think he's going to stay in Seattle, but it's nice to dream.

Speaker 3 His biggest qualm with the organization appears to be like, oh, I didn't realize that playing in the NFL that my coach would have his sons also on the staff and they wouldn't be held to the same standard.

Speaker 3 It's like you know that you play in the NFL, right? Like, that's kind of signing, that's part of what you're signing up for.

Speaker 3 It's like you're going to be busy most Sundays, and your coach is going to have a couple of his shithead sons running around fucking everything up.

Speaker 1 And so, the other story that came out about Russell Wilson was that he apparently stormed out of a meeting before the Thursday night football game against the Cardinals because he was

Speaker 1 basically giving a presentation on how the offense could be fixed, which that was probably

Speaker 1 the lamest. Well, let me do two things.
If he's not a bear, that was the lamest presentation ever where Russell Wilson was like, I want to throw the ball 75 times a game. Let me be Mr.
Unlimited.

Speaker 1 Now, Bear Russell Wilson. How do the Seahawks not listen to Russell Wilson, their franchise quarterback? Shame on them if he came to Chicago, Matt Nagy would listen to everything he says.

Speaker 3 It's great leadership. That's exactly what you want out of your signal caller.
You want a guy that's not afraid to take a lot to coach his coaches up.

Speaker 1 But I just, it's, I mean, every time I read a story like this, like, why couldn't I fucking known about this before I bet on that game?

Speaker 3 Which one?

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson storming out. Like, it's the Mike McCarthy watermelons again.

Speaker 1 I'm sick of reading stories in February where I can actually point to it and be like, oh, yeah, I lost that bet. That makes sense.

Speaker 3 Can we all stop for a second, though, and just imagine Russell Wilson in Las Vegas? What a waste of real estate that would be for him.

Speaker 1 He would probably try to have like a magic show on the strip.

Speaker 3 Yeah, probably. He'd He'd be front row at the like the Celine Dion

Speaker 1 every night.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, I could totally see that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hey, Dave Copperfield, I was thinking we had this great idea for a magic show that removes all the satanic imagery, though. Yeah.
So basically card tricks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could absolutely see Russell Wilson doing that. So

Speaker 1 it's wild to think that, you know, Stafford obviously already got traded. Dak is still up in the air.
Russell Wilson, passive aggressive trade request.

Speaker 3 Deshaun. Deshaun.
Apparently not getting traded. Jack Easterby, you don't want to fuck with Jack Easterby.
Well, that's a man that has read he lives part of the deal every single day.

Speaker 1 Apparently not getting traded, but also apparently refusing to play for the Texans.

Speaker 1 So the story came out that he met with the new coach for the Texans, Cully. Yep.
That one's going to be that we're going to have to remind ourselves of that.

Speaker 3 Cully, and then I'm having a hard time remembering Siriani.

Speaker 1 Yep, Siriani and Cully.

Speaker 1 So they had a meeting on Friday night, and Deshaun Watson was like, absolutely not, not playing for the team. Sorry.
Just not going to happen. Yeah.
So it is a game of chicken.

Speaker 3 Deshaun, just get fat.

Speaker 1 I would love to see a player just be like, I truly hate them so much.

Speaker 1 I will retire. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, if any franchise is able to do that to a person, it would be the Houston Texans. Just get fat, Deshaun.

Speaker 3 I don't know if that would actually change things because you say that you're not going to play. They say that they're not going to trade you.

Speaker 3 But it would make my life a lot more fun if every time I saw a picture of Fat Deshaun, I got to giggle at it.

Speaker 1 way out of town.

Speaker 3 Then there's J.J. Watt.
JJ Watt is also doing his free agency tour.

Speaker 1 Oh, and we have, sticking on quarterbacks, Big Ben is officially, officially back, which is the best thing ever. I mean, that

Speaker 1 brought a tear to my eyes. One more, one more fucking, you know, trip around the sun, the last dance, Big Ben version.
Drew Brees

Speaker 1 is apparently not, like, he is retiring, but he hasn't said it yet, which makes no sense.

Speaker 3 But he's going to be in the booth next year, right?

Speaker 1 But he hasn't said that he's retiring. He's retiring.

Speaker 3 I'm putting Drew Brees out to pasture.

Speaker 1 What people are saying now is, why has Drew Brees not retired?

Speaker 3 I don't have a good answer for that, but I'm putting it out to pasture.

Speaker 1 I was going to make a joke that I'm not going to make because I'm not going to make the joke.

Speaker 3 About his ribs? No.

Speaker 1 What was it about? It was going to be something along the lines of he's probably still at the golf course waiting for Tiger.

Speaker 3 Okay. Thank you for not making that joke.

Speaker 1 No, you can't make that joke. You can't make that joke.
Can't make that joke. You cannot make that joke.
So I didn't make the joke. Drew Brees? I did not make the joke.
Thank God.

Speaker 1 We all agree I I did not make the joke. No, we did joke.
Thank God you did.

Speaker 3 But Drew Bre is also one of the quarterbacks that had his legs broken in those rumors.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's what he talks about. Right, exactly.

Speaker 3 Big Ben, so yes, he's coming back. He's going to just basically loan money to the Steelers because the Steelers don't want to pay him because he's, frankly, not worth anything right now.

Speaker 3 Big Ben doesn't want to take money from the Steelers because

Speaker 1 he knows.

Speaker 3 So, like, how is that going to work?

Speaker 3 I think that Big Ben should start up his own TB12 method, the BB7 method, which is really the way that, like, people always say, Tom Brady, well, your wife is a supermodel.

Speaker 3 She brings in hundreds of millions of dollars. It does make it easier for him to get paid less, but we also speculate that Tom Brady has that side cash coming in from the TB12 method.

Speaker 3 The BB7 method, the Big Ben 7 method, could be the answer to the Steelers' cap hell problems where he starts selling like used medical equipment on eBay and gas station boner pills and chloroform.

Speaker 1 Passwords to browsers. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's not using anymore. He's not using them, guys.
Yeah. Free password.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, and then what other news do we have? Well, NBA All-Star team was announced. Is anyone excited for the NBA All-Star game? I feel like it's the weirdest of that.

Speaker 3 I don't even think that the players are excited for it.

Speaker 1 I was just happy that Zach Levine got the credit because I'm all in on Zach Levine. He's been phenomenal.
What? His dad is electric, too. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 They like had the video where they surprised him and his dad was like, you ready for, or Zach Levine was like, you ready for Atlanta? And the dad was just like, are there casinos? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was his only question. Well, Zach Levine had a quote a couple of weeks ago where he's like, the only two people I'm afraid of are God and my dad.
And then

Speaker 1 have you seen a picture of his dad?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 His dad is a not-to-be-fucked with type of guy. But yeah, the all-star game, I don't...

Speaker 3 NBA just needs to bring back the dunk contest. It's very simple.
Just bring it back with the best players.

Speaker 1 Yes, I agree. The dunk contest can solve everything.
And then college basketball, we had a great Roy Williams quote last night, even though he shouldn't have. So

Speaker 1 they scheduled Marquette for an extra game, something Duke would never do because Duke is scared. They lost to Marquette, bad loss.

Speaker 1 Terrible loss.

Speaker 3 He basically said, this sucks.

Speaker 3 Y'all, when I schedule these games, I don't know what we're going to lose. If we won the game, you'd say, why did you schedule Marquette?

Speaker 1 Dad Gummit,

Speaker 3 I'm going to schedule Marquette. And if we win, then I look, you are sitting up here saying you center schedule.
If I lose the dad gum games, then you guys are telling me

Speaker 3 why are you scheduling Marquette for. So, y'all, I can't win with y'all.
And then he storms out. That was

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones, Roy Williams, and Patrick Mahomes all together. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty good.

Speaker 3 That averages out to Roy Williams, so I'm okay with that. And all you haters out there that told me I was an idiot when I said Roy Williams is a better coach than Coach K.
He doesn't get the shine.

Speaker 3 This is just another market in my favor on this.

Speaker 1 But hold on. What's going to happen here and why I just said this sucks is there's now a world where Duke's going to make the tournament this year and UNC isn't.
I don't care. I don't care.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's going to suck because I actually.

Speaker 1 What's Duke's remaining schedule? I mean, the ACC is not very good this year. They might get like a top four seeds.

Speaker 8 Do you think Hank has a point?

Speaker 7 What? Because they just announced that there are going to be replacement teams with COVID.

Speaker 3 The first four teams out are going to be on standby.

Speaker 1 Oh, that sucks. Blue balls.
Blue balls.

Speaker 7 God forbid, Gonzaga Bale or Michigan have COVID outbreak.

Speaker 1 Duke replaces them at the one seed.

Speaker 3 That's what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 They are not going to dash around. What the fuck?

Speaker 9 But Duke could also be a 16-seed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be awesome to see them pounded by Gonzaga Bay.

Speaker 3 Isn't this again for the second time exactly what happened in Harry Potter, the goblet of fire, where they added another team in just to make sure that the ratings went up?

Speaker 1 That's true. Wow, R.I.P.
Sedged. What a

Speaker 1 fantastic reference, PFT. I had no idea you had that in you.
Thank you.

Speaker 3 Well, it happened with Zion, with the Pelicans. And now they're doing it with another Duke squad.
Cedric.

Speaker 1 Got the fucking rewind of it.

Speaker 3 I've been saying that for years.

Speaker 8 Duke has learned that.

Speaker 9 Georgia Tech UNC.

Speaker 1 Thank you for the copper stupid. Oh, yeah.
Georgia Tech will actually be able to access something that I forgot about since I was 12 years old.

Speaker 3 It's the Stones.

Speaker 1 Duke Georgia Tech. I actually

Speaker 9 referenced this on my pod last night.

Speaker 1 One shout out the pod.

Speaker 7 Barcelona Bench Mob.

Speaker 1 Duke Georgia Tech.

Speaker 1 Oh, hey. Which

Speaker 1 wider review. Oh, yeah.
I forgot that there was one.

Speaker 8 Fuck you.

Speaker 9 Duke George Attack Tuesday could very well be a Loser Leaves sound game.

Speaker 1 Yes, that would be a good idea. You got credit, though, but that is a loser leaf sound game.
Loser Leaves Sound.

Speaker 3 We didn't come up with Loser Leaves Town. No, we didn't.

Speaker 1 I still credit it. Wrestling and

Speaker 1 credit. Oh, no.
Okay. All right.
I thought you did it. Sorry.
Yeah. So, yeah, so Duke, they're going to make the tournament.

Speaker 3 I just know they will. Of course.

Speaker 2 If they make the tournament, you got to get a cat, Hank. No.

Speaker 1 Why? You guys have to get a cat.

Speaker 3 All right. How about this, Hank? What if Duke makes the tournament as one of those replacement COVID teams, and then they end up losing?

Speaker 1 If Duke wins the championship, you guys should get a cat. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 If Duke wins the championship, I'll get a cat. Yep.

Speaker 1 Done.

Speaker 1 And if Duke, well, you have to have a cat. It'll be an outdoor tournament.
If they make it to the championship and lose. No, Final Four.
No.

Speaker 3 Sweet 16. Sweet 16 and lose.

Speaker 1 No, because if they get a one seat, it'll be a walk-in to the Final Four. But that's a risk.
You have to put something in this. Yeah, if they make it to the championship and lose.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's got to be.
Come on.

Speaker 1 It's the same. Final four.

Speaker 1 Final four.

Speaker 3 No, I think elite eight. I think if they get to the elite eight and lose, you have to get a cat.
If they lose in the Sweet 16, no cat. No cat.

Speaker 1 No, Final Four. I think Final Four.
If they get to the Final Four, you have to get a cat. If they win the title, we have to get a cat.
All right. All right.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 3 One cat between us?

Speaker 1 Yes, we'll split it in half.

Speaker 3 It can be a barn cat. Billy will be.

Speaker 1 There's actually a new litter of barn. No, no.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 Billy, are you going to get that?

Speaker 8 What was the riboplasta?

Speaker 6 Toxoplasmosis.

Speaker 1 What do you got? That was a wild time, right? Yeah. Didn't you see?

Speaker 3 Toxoplasmosis to attack the COVID cells?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, no. It's more that

Speaker 6 a bunch of people with motorcycle accidents have toxoplasmosis because they have no fear.

Speaker 1 By the way, we should just, for the people who are listening and not watching,

Speaker 1 Billy has the most unwrinkled or wrinkled gene or pants of all time.

Speaker 3 It It looks like his legs are in two scrotums.

Speaker 1 I just want you to listen to it to know that that's what he's doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chipotle wrappers as Kenjak put out there.

Speaker 6 Not all of us have advanced laundry techniques.

Speaker 1 Billy techniques. You have like a laundry?

Speaker 2 I support you, Billy.

Speaker 3 What do you mean by advanced laundry techniques? Do you mean a dryer?

Speaker 1 An iron? An iron?

Speaker 1 If I didn't support you, Billy, I would say I also don't have an iron, but I'm never letting my pants get to that point. But I do support you, and I'm with you.

Speaker 1 I actually think you balled them up, and you put them under your mattress. You've been sleeping on them for six months.

Speaker 6 I have a solid laundry apparatus technique thing I do where you put it in a material. I actually do have a washer and a dryer.

Speaker 1 I know what he's going to say. What?

Speaker 1 And because you're 21. Are you 22 yet? I'm 22.
I'm 22. All right, so you're 22.
You're going to always be 21. But you do, and listen, this is actually the relatable part, Billy.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to have your back here. Thank you.
You do your laundry.

Speaker 1 You wash it, then you put it in the dryer. And then instead of doing the extra step of folding everything and putting it away You just take your clothes from the dryer all week.
Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 That's actually an efficient system and then you put it in the washing machine right at when you take it off for the shower right yep, so you you basically you don't need a closet exactly

Speaker 3 So here's a great way to just get rid of wrinkles you just take like one sock or one shirt and you wet it down and then you put it in the dryer with the other thing you want to dry and then the steam while it's in the dryer gets rid of the wrinkles.

Speaker 3 How long?

Speaker 9 I don't know like 10 minutes. So do it 50.

Speaker 6 While I shower?

Speaker 1 Yeah, perfect. That's actually

Speaker 1 huge.

Speaker 3 Or you hang the pants up in the shower. I'm a guy that knows how to take care of some big, wrinkly pants.
You just hang it up in there with you. The steam lets it all fall down.
Yep.

Speaker 1 That's actually huge.

Speaker 1 Maybe put a towel under the door so that you don't let any of the steam out.

Speaker 3 Hot box it. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a little steam room in your shower. Ooh,

Speaker 1 I had a little bit of...

Speaker 3 pre-FOMO looking forward to this weekend. Oh.
Can you guys help me out maybe? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Are we not going to have any Gooch this weekend? Because last weekend we had multiple Gooches.

Speaker 1 Oh. Oh, the

Speaker 1 golfer. I think the golfer is probably competing.

Speaker 3 Taylor Gooch. Yeah.
And then there was Dusty Gooch. I can't go from two Gooch weekend to zero Gooch weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hope that Taylor Gooch is competing. I would assume he is.
Yeah. Right? He's got to be.
Jake, check that for us. Hank.

Speaker 7 Standby. Brooks just hit a 35-footer.
He's one off the lead.

Speaker 3 Of course he is. Oh,

Speaker 2 but wait, that's not Puerto Rico, is it?

Speaker 1 Nope. No.
Other one.

Speaker 7 Concession in Bradington, Florida. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, before Hank tells us his. I'll see Gooch on the leaderboard.
Okay. Well, he's got to be there.

Speaker 7 Or he could be at Puerto Rico.

Speaker 1 He could be a Puerto Rico.

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Speaker 1 PFD, what I thought you were going to say about this weekend was

Speaker 1 we're back. Guys, this is how the calendar works.
We finally made it. We're fucking springing ahead.
So changing your clocks on Saturday night. Finally, we're going to get that extra hour of sunlight.

Speaker 1 I like, there's nothing better than getting to that point where we finally reach it. We're going to change our clocks on Saturday night, and then, boom, it's going to be 6:30 before the sun sets.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 Well, for me, it's actually been the entire like four months because I never change. And so I've always got that to look forward to.

Speaker 3 If you've got a car that you drive every day, if you've made it, you drove through your zone.

Speaker 1 You made it to your zone.

Speaker 3 That's the most accomplished I ever felt when I was driving my car. When I was like, you know what? I didn't change my clock.
Finally, time caught up to me.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 3 You made it. Don't be late for work on Monday.

Speaker 3 Sprung forward.

Speaker 1 There's something just beautiful about that.

Speaker 1 The first Monday after we spring forward, which is this Saturday, change your clocks, 2 o'clock in the morning. Is that right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, 2 o'clock. You go back.
2 a.m. Sunday morning, it becomes...

Speaker 3 3 a.m. er.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So

Speaker 1 there's something about that extra hour where you get out of work and it's like, oh my God, it's so light up. This is great.
It feels great.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like if this had lasted one more week, I was going to off myself. Yep.
So thank God it's back this week.

Speaker 1 Yes. So just a little shout out to everyone looking out for the AWLs.
Billy, we don't want you to be late.

Speaker 1 Hank, your genius idea that's going to make us rich. In a week where we have reached great financial independence by buying highlights online,

Speaker 1 we're just rich now, right?

Speaker 3 Because of highlights online.

Speaker 1 Digital assets.

Speaker 1 Crypto punks. This one will require a little more work.

Speaker 1 I know you're old, Big Cat PFT. You're getting old.
I'm getting old. So

Speaker 1 someone young that really has the time.

Speaker 3 It also occurred to me.

Speaker 1 But there is a new sport that is growing up, and I think we can get in on the ground floor and make a lot of money.

Speaker 1 This dude, Paul Macbeth, today signed a 10-year, $10 million contract extension to play disc golf.

Speaker 3 10-year, $10 million?

Speaker 1 So this guy, he's like, you know,

Speaker 1 he's the Michael Jordan of disc golf. His first contract was like a year, like $250,000.
He sold so many fucking discs or whatever, Frisbees. Froth.
It's called banging chains.

Speaker 1 His signature line sold so many. There's such a huge market there.
It's time to do a 10-year, $10 million contract. And it's something I think if we just get our froth on,

Speaker 1 we can get in and banging chains. Bang chains and, you know.

Speaker 3 make millions. 10 years, 10 million doesn't seem like that much money to me, actually.

Speaker 1 For fucking disc golf?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it seems like kind of a broke boy. It's fun sport.

Speaker 1 I actually really,

Speaker 1 aspire to be two things in my life. One is a car guy, and the other is a fralfer.
Right.

Speaker 1 If I could envision my perfect self, it'd be know how to use a car, know how to fix a car and have some antique cars, and then take my antique car and bang some chains.

Speaker 1 How many times, Bitcat, in your life, have you been like, I wish I could pursue my froth dreams, but

Speaker 1 I have to make money for my family. Literally every day.

Speaker 3 Now, you don't have to make a choice.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You can just do it.
Do both. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 3 And so who sponsors them?

Speaker 3 Disc Craft discraft So it's it's a frisbee company.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, okay, and they're actually I mean they're so sick you wear your little satchel and you got your your different froth Discs, you know, like they're clubs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean you don't just use the same disc an AWL email me this his name was Cayman, which I thought was appropriate for a guy that's really on the you know he definitely wears Tivas

Speaker 1 maybe even has a rat tail

Speaker 1 but but still I read the article I was I was like taking aback. I was like wow there's some real money to be I mean you know we're in We're trying to get rich quick, right? Actually, you know what?

Speaker 1 This is the week where it's just like, what should we do? Should we buy like investment week on? Should we buy cards?

Speaker 1 Or should we buy some fucking chains? It's pinned.

Speaker 3 This is what it is because it's an outdoor sport. You're always socially distanced.

Speaker 3 You don't have any friends. It's perfect.

Speaker 1 I have to correct you, Hank, because if we're going to get in this. We have to buy chains to set them up and then we bang them.
We buy them. We bang chains.

Speaker 1 That's why it sounds cool when you say, you want to go bang some chains, bro.

Speaker 1 Are they talking about froth?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to buy them to set them up and then you bang them. Okay.
Why do we have to build our own bang chains? No, we don't. You're going to go into the course and you just bang some chains.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm not going to bang my own chains. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're going crap where you eat. Come on.
Either way, do you want me to do my drunk idea too? Should we say that? That wasn't.

Speaker 1 No, that's an investment. That's true.

Speaker 1 That's like

Speaker 2 the strongest idea.

Speaker 1 That's like, if we were, you know, if the microphones weren't here, I would have sat you guys down in a boardroom and been like, let's do this presentation and the whole thing.

Speaker 1 This is more of just like, you know, guys at the bar, like,

Speaker 3 we sponsor a professional frisbee golf.

Speaker 1 We make a t-shirt that says bang chains.

Speaker 1 That actually would be a good idea. That'd be great.
We actually, Jake, or not Billy. Jake, can you get someone on that?

Speaker 3 Bang chains. Bang chains for Billy.

Speaker 1 Do you bang chains, bro? Do you even bang chains? Yeah, do you even bang chains, bro? And it's just a fucking frolf going into.

Speaker 7 Does it set up trigs?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Maybe it's a dude throwing a frolf with that rat tail I just talked about.

Speaker 1 Khaki cargo shorts. That a wrinkle

Speaker 3 baggy green shirt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baggy green shirt. Tiva's a little overweight, but not too overweight.

Speaker 3 Maybe a puka shell.

Speaker 1 Maybe a puka shell. And he's throwing a fucking perfect nine-iron right at the chains, and it says, do you even bang chains, bro? Who do you think's winning a chain bang between this group?

Speaker 3 I could frolf. Probably not me.
I could frolf.

Speaker 1 I've thought a lot about frolfing, so I'd say just my mind is sharper than everyone's here when it comes to frolf.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the whole like practicing frisbee on the quad thing was never something I got into. So feel like

Speaker 3 I feel like my discs are they're they're always flying at like a 40.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're more

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 3 I throw like Barry Zito style.

Speaker 1 You're more of a more lateral guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, you gotta get hozo vertical call it horizontal hozo get hozo get levels cool all right now drunk idea okay hanging on wait what about hang flush that out of my brain hanging brain and banging chains yeah this guy with his whole line his dicks out while he's throwing a whole line of these.

Speaker 1 All right. I want that shirt, Jake.

Speaker 2 It's chopped.

Speaker 1 Do you have Triggs?

Speaker 7 No, I do not. Fuck.

Speaker 1 I got to do everything around here. All right, fine.
I'm going to text him.

Speaker 2 You might listen to the show, too. It's chopped.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I want it now. Okay.
I texted him last night at 11:30 at night. He said, give me a lewd door dunking a skull.

Speaker 2 It's chopped. I got it.

Speaker 3 But for building a bong.

Speaker 1 But for booze.

Speaker 1 Okay. Wait.
What? You know, the show chopped. Yeah.
It's like chest. You get a few boxes.
Sometimes it's beer. You get a basket of ingredients.

Speaker 2 Sometimes it could be food.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 But that's chopped. But for booze.
You're making drinks.

Speaker 3 Okay. So you're making one drink.
Give me an example of what's in my box. All right.

Speaker 1 You got fucking vanilla ice cream. Okay.

Speaker 1 Grass. Yep.

Speaker 1 Like something disgusting, like some

Speaker 1 spice or like something that's like, you know, really flavorful.

Speaker 3 Cincinnati chili.

Speaker 1 And then, I don't know, shaved ice. Okay.
Asparagus. Okay.
And then you got to make a drink. I have to make a liquor out of that.
You have to make a cocktail, something that you can serve.

Speaker 1 But there's no booze. But you have the booze? Oh, yeah, yeah.
And

Speaker 3 how drunk were you, Hank?

Speaker 1 You just forgot the booze.

Speaker 1 You just want us to make a salad. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I didn't forget the booze.

Speaker 3 No, I think what happened was Hank was out of booze, and he was

Speaker 1 looking at ingredients to the salad.

Speaker 3 He's like, how can I get drunk out of

Speaker 3 these things?

Speaker 6 I was like, you ferment the asparagus?

Speaker 1 Like, what is No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That's my bad.

Speaker 3 All right, all you do is you blend it all together and then you toss some whiskey in it. You call it a milkshake.
Boom.

Speaker 1 But someone else can make a better one.

Speaker 1 There's plenty of bartenders in the world. All right, well, let's try it.
Let's have, I mean, we've already had an episode of Top Chef, Billy vs. PFT.
Let's do it again. That would actually be great.

Speaker 1 Let's do it on our Twitch stream.

Speaker 1 I like the Twitch doesn't. Let's do it on our YouTube.

Speaker 3 I like the chili talk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do it on our YouTube. Let's do it.
Set it up for... Let's Let's do it Sunday night.
When we come in to do the show, we'll do a 10-minute chopped for booze. All right.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you're going to get the. I'll get the ingredients.
I'll get the box. All right.
Boxes. Okay.
And it should be the main ingredient should be Coors Light. Or Coors Light.

Speaker 1 That's. Yes.
Okay. Perfect.
And then we'll taste test. Billy will let the meat talk.

Speaker 1 Steak should be part of this. Just so we can

Speaker 2 take care of it. All right.

Speaker 1 So maybe not Sunday night. We'll do it soon.
Soon. We'll do it on our YouTube channel.
All right. good ideas, Hank.
Thank you. Way to go.

Speaker 3 Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 I mean, we're...

Speaker 6 What were you saying, Billy? I actually had a drug idea, too.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go.

Speaker 2 Let's go. It is investment week.

Speaker 1 So. Is Peloton still our sponsor? Sure.

Speaker 3 Let's just pretend that they are. Billy's idea is that there's going to be a Peloton dating app.

Speaker 10 How did you...

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I think you tweeted it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, all these Peloton people are so obsessed with Peloton.

Speaker 6 Like, it's like a just, and everyone's just simping for their instructors. So, like, why don't you just make a dating app for all these dudes who get a home?

Speaker 1 Hey, I'll do one better, Billy?

Speaker 3 I think we've actually passed the people obsessed with Pelotons.

Speaker 1 Now, it's the people obsessed with people who are obsessed with their Pelotons. So, let's get a dating app for them so they can stop complaining about people obsessed with Peloton.

Speaker 3 Billy being obsessed with everybody else that's got one. Yeah, because if you knew Olivia Motto, you would not be talking shit about them.

Speaker 1 Right, like six months ago, people were talking too much about their Pelotons. Now, we just have people talking too much about people who are talking too much about their Pelotons.

Speaker 1 So, if we get them to date, then everyone will shut the fuck up.

Speaker 3 Do you guys remember like a year and a half ago when that that commercial came out and like a slightly arguably sexist commercial about Peloton was the biggest problem that we had in the entire world?

Speaker 3 That was nice. That was pretty sweet.
That was pretty sweet. Getting mad at like some husband buying his wife a $3,000 bike.
Damn. That was a good time.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And now here we are. I missed it.
And now, well, I mean, we were solving all the world. Did you see Mr.
Potato Head? It's no longer a problem.

Speaker 3 It's just Potato Head.

Speaker 1 Just Potato Head.

Speaker 3 Just potato head.

Speaker 1 It's my Firefest. Save it for Potato Head.
All right. Forget you.

Speaker 1 Forget you didn't hear that. Let's get to our interview with Donnie Brasco, Joe Pistone.
The real Donny Brasco. A fascinating interview was in, infiltrated the New York City mafia for like five years.

Speaker 1 Crazy story. I'm sure a lot of people have seen the movie, but really, really fascinating interview, something a little different.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is. Joe Pistone, aka the real Donny Brasco.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Joe Pistone.

Speaker 1 You know him as Donnie Brasco, former FBI agent. I guess you're an FBI agent for life.

Speaker 1 If you haven't seen Donny Brasco,

Speaker 1 go watch it, first of all. Go read the book, Joe's book.
He was undercover, in the mob, in the New York City mafia

Speaker 1 for

Speaker 1 many years

Speaker 1 and went, you know, 200 indictments. One of the craziest stories out there, if you don't know it, I think everyone does know it, but thank you for joining us, Joe.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Got a million questions.

Speaker 3 I guess the first one is, where are you right now?

Speaker 10 I'm on the east coast of the U.S.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. I like this.
All right. You can't really tell us.

Speaker 2 We also have a sunglass off.

Speaker 3 What's the weather like where you're at?

Speaker 1 Cold. Cold.
Oh,

Speaker 3 I'm wearing shorts right now.

Speaker 1 It's after the cold snap throughout the U.S.

Speaker 1 It is winter. Yeah, that's true.
So you also have a podcast that is called Deep Cover. What do you guys talk about in the podcast? Is it basically stories from back in the day?

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's Deep cover, the real Donnie Brasco, and it's on Jam Street Media, is our

Speaker 10 production company. It's basically,

Speaker 10 we've got 19 episodes in a can,

Speaker 10 and it's basically

Speaker 10 about organized crime, the mafia, my days undercover, stories that weren't told in the movie or in my books regarding my undercover endeavors.

Speaker 10 And we're hopefully going to start up

Speaker 10 second season season pretty soon but uh i i i i listen i i really appreciate you guys having me on um

Speaker 10 when when i told my uh

Speaker 10 my grandkids they were like no

Speaker 10 come on love it guys gotta have you on

Speaker 10 they were like you guys i tell you what you guys already you guys are

Speaker 10 I don't know, you're rock stars.

Speaker 1 You were made guys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we actually look at you the same way because I don't know about Big Cat, but for me personally donny nebraska was one of my favorite movies growing up loved it

Speaker 3 it's one that i watch every you know five years or so and uh the story behind it is just endlessly fascinating to me um i guess my first question for you would be like when you were growing up did you actually want to be in the mafia or did you want to be uh on the justice side of the law well growing up i always wanted to be a cop i always wanted to get into law enforcement you know and uh

Speaker 10 i grew up in Patterson, New Jersey, and I don't know if you guys are aware of any

Speaker 10 towns in Jersey, but

Speaker 10 Pattison was a, you know, a typical

Speaker 10 blue collar town. And I grew up in the Italian neighborhood.
So there were, you know, there were wise guys in the neighborhood. I knew wise guys growing up.

Speaker 10 went to school with you know some of the kids

Speaker 10 of the wise guys but it their life never attracted me you know.

Speaker 10 And I think I take that back to

Speaker 10 my upbringing. You know, my father worked in bars, had bars, was a hardworking guy.
And, you know, although

Speaker 10 we knew all the, you know, all the gangsters in the neighborhood, it was always, hey, you know,

Speaker 10 that's not the way you want to go. Because, you know, you see the...
you see the

Speaker 10 social clubs, you see the guys, you know, nobody works, they're hanging out all day. They got the flash, the cash.

Speaker 3 That sounds, to me, like that actually sounds pretty cool. Yeah.
Like you see a bunch of wise guys.

Speaker 3 Flash, cash at a social club. That's that's the triple crown.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's it's it's it's cool if you, you know, if you if you lean that way, you know, but like I said, I had a

Speaker 10 good upbringing. And,

Speaker 10 you know, look,

Speaker 10 I'm not going to lie to you. You know, growing up, you know, I gambled, you know, shot craps in the streets, went to the racetracks,

Speaker 10 but it just wasn't something that attracted me. I always wanted to be a cop, and that's, that's the way I went.

Speaker 1 So, so 1976, you go undercover, and it's supposed to be only a six-month operation, but you take, it takes six months, right, before you even get introduced to

Speaker 1 like guys in the mafia that you can start doing some undercover investigation for. What was that process like?

Speaker 1 What was that six months trying to get known and have people be like, oh, this guy's just a guy around the streets. We see him.
We know him. He's not just a random guy who just showed up.

Speaker 10 Yeah, well, I had just come off a year and a half undercover operation where I had infiltrated

Speaker 10 a gang of thieves that were stealing high-priced automobiles.

Speaker 10 In other words, you came to us and said, hey, I want a Mercedes-Ben. Well, we take your order.
And then at night, we go out to the Mercedes dealership and hook the car.

Speaker 10 So I did that for a year and a half. I get back to New York, and my supervisor was an old-time New Yorker who had done undercover in his day, Guy Barada.
And he had this idea of

Speaker 10 an undercover operation. And the initial, all undercover operations are funded for six months.
And then every six months, you have to renew them. So that's why it was, you know, a six-month deal.

Speaker 10 And the idea was

Speaker 10 to see if I can infiltrate fences. You guys know what fences are, right? Guys

Speaker 10 that broke or

Speaker 10 stolen commodities, goods, swag.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 the idea was to,

Speaker 10 and you have to have a profession because

Speaker 10 nobody's going to deal with you if you don't have a profession. And so my profession was I was a jewel thief.

Speaker 10 And the reason being is that you could do jobs without, you know, you don't need a gang to go do jobs. I can bring, I can bring diamonds, precious gems around.

Speaker 10 So I went to school, learned all about diamonds, precious gems, learned about

Speaker 10 locks, alarms, safes, whatever.

Speaker 10 And then the idea was we had certain restaurants and bars targeted that we knew that these guys hung out in. And the idea was to go in and

Speaker 10 and hang out and hopefully get into conversation. Well, if you know anything about the mob, you don't just walk in and say, hey, I'm Donnie Brasco.
I'm a jewel thief. I want to hook up with you guys.

Speaker 10 It doesn't work that way.

Speaker 10 So it took me about six months going into these different places,

Speaker 10 just hanging out, getting something to eat,

Speaker 10 having a Heinegun.

Speaker 10 And then finally,

Speaker 10 I got in a conversation with a bartender

Speaker 10 who was hooked into the mob. And that's how I...
That's how I, my actual first

Speaker 10 initiation was

Speaker 10 with these guys was, there was a bartender that was, but was a guy that was hooked up with the Lucchese mafia family out of New York.

Speaker 3 So in the movie, you get introduced, I guess it's to Lefty, you help him out by spotting a Fugesi, a fake diamond. How do you tell if a diamond is Fugesi?

Speaker 10 Well, back then in the day when I was pretty good at it,

Speaker 10 I had the, you know,

Speaker 10 I had the glass and you look and you see if you see scratches, you look at the, you look at the color,

Speaker 10 you know and and can you really if it's really a bad uh

Speaker 10 fake then you can tell but this one you know this one didn't look really great and i just took a shot that hey it's a fagaze you know and and it was so not to glamorize guys in the mafia because obviously they are criminals but

Speaker 1 did you have fun was it fun when you were hanging out with the guys i imagine it was fun at times where you're like this is actually like we're hanging out we're busting balls we're having a good time, watching sports, playing pool, whatever it may be.

Speaker 1 Were there times when you almost had to remind yourself, like, hey, you're a cop, like, you're not supposed to be having fun?

Speaker 10 Yeah, well, you know, you have to remember you're dealing with human beings. So

Speaker 10 even though they're stone-cold killers, you know, somebody's got a good side to them. You know,

Speaker 10 they got kids, you know, they got wives, they got gumadas.

Speaker 10 They got kids that are okay.

Speaker 10 Some of of them got kids that are pain in the ass like everybody else's kids uh

Speaker 10 so some of them you know some of them are jokesters when i mean by jokesters you know

Speaker 10 they're uh they're natural uh comedians uh some of them are just stone cold so yeah you know during the day uh when you're not doing anything you know you're hanging around the social club you know playing gin, BSing.

Speaker 10 Guys are cracking jokes. Guys are talking politics.
Guys are talking

Speaker 10 whatever. And not that they're experts in anything, but

Speaker 10 they're normal people that way. So yeah, you do sometimes you do, you know, you can bitch around with the guys.
You have to because

Speaker 10 you have to fit in with them.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Did you ever, did you ever forget that your name wasn't Donnie? Like if somebody called out for someone else, like, hey, Joey, did you ever turn your head?

Speaker 10 No, actually, I never did. I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 10 And that's my middle name, and that's why I took it, you know.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 I was used to it.

Speaker 1 And the

Speaker 10 funny thing, the operation I had just come off, I used the same name. So I was, you know, for a year and a half, I was used to being Donnie Brasco.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was the closest you ever got to getting caught, to having your cover blown?

Speaker 1 Obviously, we see it in the movie, but was that true to form that, you know, someone that you had worked with in the FBI had seen you and didn't know that you were undercover?

Speaker 10 Well, there were a couple of ones. If you're talking about in the movie with the attorney with the lawyer in the airport,

Speaker 10 that happened.

Speaker 10 He kept calling, calling.

Speaker 10 We were walking toward each other, and I was with Sonny Black, who was my capo in the Benano family. And

Speaker 10 when he got out close, I just clocked him. because I didn't want him to keep, you know,

Speaker 10 calling me and everything. And, you know, Sonny says,

Speaker 1 Donnie,

Speaker 10 what'd you do? I said, Sonny, Sonny, did you see what the guy did? And I don't, can you say anything on here?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you say anything, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 I said, he grabbed my prick.

Speaker 10 So I got to clock him. And we kept going.

Speaker 10 You saw the boat.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 You saw the movie. Well, that was an FBI boat.
And

Speaker 10 that boat was used in AP scam. I don't know if you guys ever heard of the big AP scan investigation, the undercover operation the FBI had against

Speaker 10 politicians.

Speaker 10 And, of course, that was never to be surfaced.

Speaker 10 And the news media found out about the operation, and

Speaker 10 they wouldn't squelch it.

Speaker 10 from printing it. So when that came out in the paper, we were on that boat

Speaker 10 i took the wise guys on that boat for a fishing trip and i was with lefty one time uh

Speaker 10 we were on an airplane and uh the picture of that boat was called the left hand it was on the front cover i think of news week or time

Speaker 10 and he looks at it and he looks at me and

Speaker 10 he said donny you know this boat

Speaker 10 i said no i said i don't know that boat and it's you know big picture of it,

Speaker 10 big picture of the left hand.

Speaker 10 And he said,

Speaker 10 we were on that boat. I said, nah, we were never on that boat, Left.
He said, yes, we were. I said, how do you know? He said, what's my name? I said, Lefty.
He said, what's the name of this boat?

Speaker 10 The left hand. I said, he said, you think I can forget that?

Speaker 10 So a few months before, he and I had been out in California and

Speaker 10 we were having dinner dinner and

Speaker 10 there were two ladies there and

Speaker 10 he sent them over dinner. He said to the waiter, you know, send them over dinner and drinks, whatever they want.

Speaker 10 And then when they were leaving,

Speaker 10 we got into a conversation and

Speaker 10 I told him, I said, Left, remember those two those two ladies? Yeah.

Speaker 10 I said, you know, one of them

Speaker 10 gave me a gave me a card and she said if you guys are ever in miami and you want to go out in the boat this is my brother's boat huh i said i said what the hell do i know that's how we got you know that's how i got in touch with him uh so i skated on that one but he you know he was he he always brought it up to me but

Speaker 10 you know i had been with him a few years now so you know he he kind of bought the story but that was a that was uh probably the closest.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So when you get revealed or when the operation is over and they, they arrest everyone, did you, I would imagine deep down you were like, you kind of wanted to reach out to some of these guys and be like, because there's an emotional bond that you make over these years.

Speaker 1 How hard was that to deal with?

Speaker 1 Because they're criminals, but you also know them on a personal level and you've been living, you know, with them, being friends with them for multiple years at this point.

Speaker 10 I had no,

Speaker 10 problem with these guys getting arrested and going to jail. I didn't want to reach out to any of them after.

Speaker 10 That's just the way I operated in all my undercover endeavors. Is that,

Speaker 10 look,

Speaker 10 you chose to be a gangster. I chose to be in law enforcement.

Speaker 10 I'm coming after you.

Speaker 10 And once it's over, then I leave.

Speaker 10 I never,

Speaker 10 the only way I would talk to anybody after if they wanted to talk to me,

Speaker 10 I didn't want to put the cuffs on anybody.

Speaker 10 I had no problem you going to jail. Now, obviously, I didn't want to see guys get killed.

Speaker 10 Like I said, they killed Tony Mira. They killed Sonny Black, not Latano, because he was my captain.

Speaker 10 And they killed another guy.

Speaker 10 Rogerio was due to get killed, but the Bureau heard about it. They picked it up on a wire and they grabbed him while he was on his way to get killed.

Speaker 10 But as far as feeling sorry for these guys, no, uh,

Speaker 10 you know, that's just the way I feel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's I that's also probably the Hollywood aspect.

Speaker 1 You know, the in the actual movie, Donny Brasco, they definitely make Al Pacino a sympathetic character and kind of a sad character that you feel bad for at the end.

Speaker 10 I was told the reason why is because

Speaker 10 they had to make me look

Speaker 10 like a good guy because

Speaker 10 I was a bad guy

Speaker 10 working during the undercover operation

Speaker 10 for being with these guys. So

Speaker 10 they had to make it like I had sympathy for these guys.

Speaker 10 I don't know.

Speaker 10 That's the way Hollywood operates.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 3 is there anything that you weren't allowed to do? Like if they had asked you to participate in

Speaker 3 the most grisly crime that you can imagine and you were in a car with these guys. Like, is there something that you could not have gotten out of had you gone along for the ride?

Speaker 10 Well, let me say this: the rule, and the rule in undercover is you can't get involved in crimes of violence. Okay, that's the rule.
However,

Speaker 10 there's an undercover rule,

Speaker 10 and that rule is you are your own security.

Speaker 10 Nobody's going to save your life in an undercover deal except you.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 10 Example.

Speaker 10 I was given a contract to kill somebody.

Speaker 10 All right. You saw the movie, the three guys that got whacked in the basement.

Speaker 10 Well, one of, it was supposed to be four guys.

Speaker 10 One didn't show.

Speaker 10 I got the contract to kill him. So that means I'm responsible for killing him.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 10 in reality, in the mafia, you're given a contract. You don't say,

Speaker 10 the guy's my brother, the guy's my cousin. I know the guy since we were kids.

Speaker 10 You get the contract, you accept it, otherwise, you get killed.

Speaker 10 You know, so I had to accept it. I had to go out looking for the guy.
But the deal was, if I found them by myself, I'd call the bureau.

Speaker 10 They would grab him

Speaker 10 and we'd stage a hit that hit and it would be the other way around too uh

Speaker 10 i never found him they never found him we get a call one day we're at the club and uh

Speaker 10 we get a call sunny black gets a call and he says donnie

Speaker 10 bruno is that such and such an address

Speaker 10 What do I do?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 10 the guys, you know, we jump in the car and we're going going to go. Now, if I get there and we get there,

Speaker 10 what am I going to say? Hey, guys, you know, I'm really an FBI agent.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, time out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Game over.

Speaker 3 All right. Jigs up.

Speaker 1 Or maybe

Speaker 1 it's me. Yeah, let's go get some meatballs instead of killing this guy today.
Yeah, right. But I don't, you know,

Speaker 10 so. In any operation,

Speaker 10 if it's me or a gangster, it's going to be the gangster. And like I say, I'll take my shot with the government charging me.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. So you had that mental thought, like, all right, I'm going to have to go kill this guy.

Speaker 10 Well, yeah, if that's the way it came down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's nuts.

Speaker 3 We're going to get back to Joey Pistone in a second. Before we do, I want to talk to you about our great friends at Norton360 for gamers.

Speaker 3 Real gamers know that if you want to get good, you need to shield up and not just in the game, but with your devices and your connections. Hank, it's a new war zone now, right? New update.

Speaker 3 So what does that mean? Is it no longer Verdansk?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Update really didn't change shit.

Speaker 6 Zombies?

Speaker 3 Not really. So what does it mean?

Speaker 1 There's like one new means I have to play.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

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Speaker 3 And now. Back to Joey Pistone.

Speaker 3 In terms of like the actual undercover work and getting prepared for it, I know that, you know, there was that scene in the movie where you couldn't take your shoes off in the restaurant because you found out.

Speaker 3 What's the best place to wear a wire?

Speaker 10 None at all.

Speaker 10 To be honest with you, none at all. What I did was

Speaker 10 I went to Radio Shack and bought a mini tape recorder.

Speaker 10 And I would keep it in my sport coat pocket.

Speaker 1 And did you ever...

Speaker 10 Or my cowboy boots.

Speaker 10 time I had it in my cowboy boot.

Speaker 3 From a just like a logistical standpoint, I'm always curious about how the mafia operates, how the different families operate.

Speaker 3 Do you have like set times that most people are expected to be working during the day? Because there's no office, right? Is there, like, do some people come in 9 to 5?

Speaker 3 When do when are people technically at work, or is it just 24-7?

Speaker 10 Well, it's 20, it's 24-7, actually.

Speaker 10 It's a 24-7 thing.

Speaker 10 You meet at your social club, basically, or

Speaker 10 where your crew hangs out.

Speaker 10 Everybody's in a crew, and a crew is headed by a capo or a captain, all right, who's appointed by the boss.

Speaker 10 You have to maintain contact with your capo every day.

Speaker 10 You know,

Speaker 10 most guys don't work if they do it if they work they might own a bar or you know or or a business but they're not out there doing physical labor you know they might check in on their business but your main uh

Speaker 10 your main goal is is is is the mafia that that's that's who that's who you worship yeah what's uh what's the vacation like in the mafia is there a policy that they have or can they just like if they want to go away for a couple weeks Well, you got to tell your capital what you're doing.

Speaker 10 In other words, if I wanted to go to Disneyland, right?

Speaker 1 I got to go see,

Speaker 10 Sonny, you know, I want to take my wife and kids away for, you know, all right. Just check in every day.
You got to check in. You got to check in every day.

Speaker 3 I'm also curious about the tie-ins with Major League Baseball, the NBA, things like that, because I know that some crews were involved in point shaving issues back then.

Speaker 3 Was there any like athletic involvement, any sports that you saw like having contact with the crew you were running with?

Speaker 1 Not

Speaker 10 the only contact that I know that my guys had

Speaker 10 was with horse racing.

Speaker 10 Horse racing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What's the state of the mafia today? Like, what is it? Does it still exist?

Speaker 1 I assume it still exists, but like where,

Speaker 1 what is it like today? Do you have any understanding of it?

Speaker 10 Yeah, the state of the mafia, because I keep up with it, you know,

Speaker 10 through the

Speaker 10 law enforcement. Basically,

Speaker 10 they're down, reduced to, you know, just another organized crime entity.

Speaker 10 I mean,

Speaker 10 they're involved, they're still involved in drugs, they're involved in gambling, you know.

Speaker 6 everything

Speaker 10 that that can make them money.

Speaker 10 What was taken away from them and what they don't control anymore is,

Speaker 10 you know, back in the day,

Speaker 10 they don't control politicians anymore.

Speaker 10 They're out of the gambling business in Vegas and in Atlantic City. And what I mean by that is

Speaker 10 they're not taking the takes from the county rooms anymore.

Speaker 10 They're out of the big unions, running the big unions.

Speaker 10 They're out of

Speaker 10 controlling judges, law enforcement, you know,

Speaker 10 and the major unions.

Speaker 10 But they're still involved in everything.

Speaker 10 All the other crimes,

Speaker 10 again.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 when we, when I say we, when law enforcement took away their ability to control the big unions, control politicians and judges, and, you know,

Speaker 10 not that they may not be paying somebody here or there, but not on a major scale like they used to. I mean,

Speaker 10 back in the day when I was in it, there wasn't anything in the U.S. that they didn't have their hand in making money.

Speaker 3 Did you,

Speaker 3 well, what were the parts of Donny Brasco that you think didn't get it right, where they kind of missed the mark a little bit in terms of what your experience was like?

Speaker 10 You know, overall, I think it was a good movie and not because it's not nebraska but you know it it's

Speaker 10 it's still got legs i mean there isn't

Speaker 10 there isn't a night or day that goes by that that movie's not playing somewhere but i i i think i think what what they they they really missed was the real danger i don't know how you guys feel but you know when i watch it i you know I kind of get the feeling, man, you know,

Speaker 10 it's a lot more danger than this movie showing.

Speaker 10 Maybe that's me because, you know, because I was there.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 This is a dumb question.

Speaker 1 I know it is, but whenever I watch a mafia movie or the Sopranos or whatever it may be, is there ever an element where guys like, hey, I've made enough money, I can walk away?

Speaker 1 I know that they can, but where did you ever get that feeling from guys in the crew like, hey, I kind of want to just stop doing this? You know, I understand the risk.

Speaker 10 No, I never did. I never got, I never heard anybody say that they had enough.

Speaker 1 That's crazy to me, just simply by the fact that, like, you know, if you make a big score, if you have a ton of money and a ton of cash, like being like, hey, you know what? I've had a great run.

Speaker 1 I know how this is going to end if I stay here. Maybe I'm going to go live my life somewhere else.

Speaker 10 No. And you know what's crazy is that, look, I was with these guys for six years.
I lived with them.

Speaker 10 I stayed in the same apartment with them, slept with them.

Speaker 10 You wake up every morning thinking, is today the day I go to jail?

Speaker 10 Or is it today the day I get whacked?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 10 It's like nuts, you know?

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 that's their mentality. That's their mindset.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 if they made a $5 million score today, then tomorrow, you know, they want it to be a $10 million score.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I never, never heard anybody,

Speaker 10 never, never heard anybody say, man, I wish I never got into this life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just can't imagine the anxiety of being like, today could be the day that a cop just shows up at the social club or at the bar and that's it.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 10 it's every day to them was, you know, was,

Speaker 10 what are we going to score today? You know,

Speaker 10 what'll get me killed?

Speaker 1 All right,

Speaker 10 number one:

Speaker 10 good, these are good things for an undercover agent to know because you're never going to be in a deep cover situation where you're not going to get into a beef with somebody, either verbally or physically.

Speaker 10 If I get into a beef

Speaker 10 with you,

Speaker 10 I can't insult you in front of other people.

Speaker 10 You and I have a verbal argument.

Speaker 10 I can't insult you in front of other people. That could get me killed.

Speaker 10 Take it a step further. We're in this beef.

Speaker 10 You give me a smack.

Speaker 10 If I lay my hands on you, I'm dead.

Speaker 10 You can't lay your hands on a made guy. You know what a made guy is, right?

Speaker 10 A main guy that's been officially in, in case your listeners don't know, somebody that's been officially inducted indoctrinated into the mafia

Speaker 10 okay

Speaker 10 never steal money from the family

Speaker 10 that all these will get you killed the other thing will get you killed you don't fool around with a wise guy's wife

Speaker 10 daughter or girlfriend

Speaker 10 that'll get you killed

Speaker 10 so they have these rules and they live by them they used to anyway you know the

Speaker 10 today,

Speaker 10 they got all,

Speaker 10 you know, what the big downfall of the mafia was, is, and I saw it: young kids using drugs

Speaker 10 instead of dealing in it, making money of it, making money from it,

Speaker 3 them using it. Like Christopher on Soprano, when he gets addicted to heroin, then sits on cosette

Speaker 3 and then has to kill him on the side of the road. Yeah, no spoilers.
No spoilers at all.

Speaker 1 Here's a dumb question.

Speaker 3 You mentioned like a wise guy's wife, daughter, girlfriend. What if you sleep with a wise guy's mom?

Speaker 10 You're dead.

Speaker 3 I thought maybe that was a loophole. Maybe she's lonely.

Speaker 1 Who knows? Yeah, well,

Speaker 10 maybe if you're single, you're all right. But if you're married, then, you know,

Speaker 10 don't look too kindly on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I had one last question, and you can go listen to deep cover of the podcast. So I was reading about it.

Speaker 2 Is there still actively a hit out on your life?

Speaker 10 It's never been rescinded,

Speaker 10 but

Speaker 10 I don't think anybody gets up every morning and says, Hey, I'm going to look for Donnie Brasco today, you know?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 10 You know, what I do is where I live,

Speaker 10 the neighbors don't know who I am

Speaker 10 because I'm not really that friendly a guy with neighbors anyway.

Speaker 10 But,

Speaker 10 and

Speaker 10 yeah, it hasn't been rescinded, but you know,

Speaker 10 nobody's nobody's out, you know.

Speaker 1 I don't think that's a good idea. Well, you have a podcast, so yeah, I would assume that you're you're okay with talking.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's kind of like the question: when is the podcast bubble getting its fullest?

Speaker 3 It's like when guys who are hiding in undercover in fear for their lives have very successful podcasts, it's kind of saturated at that point.

Speaker 10 Wow, but I think it's more successful.

Speaker 3 I'm excited to listen to it, I really am because you're life fascinating.

Speaker 10 Yeah, Jamstreet. Hey, can I mention one other thing too? Yeah.
I mean, if it's okay.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I have another podcast. It's not mine.
It's called The Undercovers.

Speaker 10 All right. There's one season out already, and I'm going to be the second season.
And my good friend Eddie Follis, who is a retired DE agent undercover. And you guys may have heard of Billy Queen,

Speaker 10 the alone and undercover, the ATF agent that spent time with the Mongols undercover.

Speaker 10 We got a podcast.

Speaker 10 We just did, I think, nine episodes, and it'll be out in a couple of months. And

Speaker 10 the exciting thing is, is that Ed O'Neill, you know who Ed O'Neill is, right?

Speaker 1 The actor.

Speaker 10 He's one of the narrators, the main narrator.

Speaker 10 Ray Leode is the other narrator of it.

Speaker 1 Very cool.

Speaker 10 That should be that should be out in,

Speaker 10 I don't know, maybe another month or so.

Speaker 3 The Mongols one, that's the uh, is that the motorcycle gang?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Mongols, yeah, yeah, Billy Queen, yeah.

Speaker 10 But my, my, my main podcast, you know, is deep cover, real Donnie Brasco. That's the one I'm doing with Leo Rossi and Jam Street Media.
Of course, it's on other

Speaker 10 wherever you get your podcast.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 10 Jam Street Media has

Speaker 10 got some

Speaker 10 wearing apparel that they're selling off of that.

Speaker 10 I'm not a good salesman.

Speaker 1 No, this is a great plug. Honestly,

Speaker 3 I'm going to listen to your podcast because this type of stuff is fascinating to me. I think I've read maybe seven books in the last 20 years, and five of them are about the mafia.

Speaker 10 I'll tell you, if you read the books, read Donnie Brasco, My Undercover Life in the Mafia, number one,

Speaker 10 and then read On Finished business.

Speaker 10 Make that the second one because that's the run-up. And then I got another one out.
Well, it's been out a while called The Way of the Wise Guy. And that's kind of, you know,

Speaker 10 how wise guys act and what they do, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Well,

Speaker 10 when's this air?

Speaker 1 Probably in the next week or so. Oh, is that right? Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
I got one last question for you.

Speaker 3 Did you watch The Departed?

Speaker 1 Yeah. What did you think of the ending where they zoom in on the rat?

Speaker 3 Did you get that the zoom in?

Speaker 1 Like the rat symbolized a rat at the end. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Hey,

Speaker 10 again, it was crazy because I told my grandkids, you know, and they're like, wow, you know, those guys are

Speaker 10 the top.

Speaker 10 And my one granddaughter, who's,

Speaker 10 she follows or

Speaker 10 Dave Poynton, what's your

Speaker 1 boss?

Speaker 3 Yeah. That's her cap

Speaker 1 he follows her on instagram oh oh wow are we implicated now like are we implicated as being associates of yours

Speaker 1 yeah yeah sure all right you're under me now all right well that could be a problem for us yeah uh all right well thank you thank you so much yeah your producers have my my contact if you ever need anything call me great okay i appreciate it thank you so much joe we really appreciate it guys

Speaker 1 thank you very much

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Speaker 1 All right, I just have sent the I've sent the beta version of our new t-shirt. You'll see it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's gonna look sick. Bang chains, bro.
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 3 And that's we need to name that guy. Like, it doesn't have to be on the shirt, but just so that Trevor Tyler

Speaker 3 Lance.

Speaker 1 Lance.

Speaker 1 Come on, Billy.

Speaker 1 Get us something.

Speaker 7 Big time Frisbee guy that used to be a counselor at my camp. His name's Brody Smith.

Speaker 1 Brody, it is. Brody Smith Brody.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That guy's big.

Speaker 1 Is he? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really? You know Brody Smith?

Speaker 1 I mean, I haven't. You've seen his videos.
I was in eighth grade.

Speaker 1 So just want on the record that is Brody our frolfer, but it's not the Brody. So no, Shotty.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's a Brody that used to bang change his jade.

Speaker 8 Potentially. He would remember the camp, and then he'd be like, of course.

Speaker 1 Backtrack. Yeah, then I remember too.
Oh, you were a camper there. Do you think he saw any future frolfing in you?

Speaker 7 He created

Speaker 7 not this golf, but he created Ultimate Frisbee as an activity.

Speaker 3 He invented Ultimate Frisbee.

Speaker 1 No, at camp.

Speaker 9 He started Ultimate. Well, I mean, that's what I was doing.

Speaker 1 I know he did basketball. No, he invented Ultimate Frisbee.

Speaker 6 No, he started the league. The Ultimate Frisbee.

Speaker 1 But that's not. Ultimate Frisbee is not.
That'd be like saying Hank invented Jenga. The Mohicans invented.

Speaker 7 Well. But the professional.

Speaker 1 Oh, he did play Barsville.

Speaker 7 He brought it to camp, is all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Got it. Well, that's important.
So it's like. He introduced it to Jake.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He. It's like Europeans brought football to America.

Speaker 1 He's Eli Whitney. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sort of. He discovered Ultimate.

Speaker 3 It sounds like he discovered Ultimate Freedom.

Speaker 1 He's more like Paul Rabel.

Speaker 1 Paul Rabel? Rabel? Yeah, Paul Rabel.

Speaker 7 Because he created the professional league.

Speaker 1 Right, but he didn't invent lacrosse. Right, okay, Brody Scrolls.
I see Rabbits. But Brody didn't invent LaCross.
I love that name.

Speaker 3 Okay, that's Brody banging chains on his shirt.

Speaker 6 He did dude perfect videos.

Speaker 1 He did? Yeah. Cancel him.
Cancel him.

Speaker 3 Alright, Hank, Firefest of the Week.

Speaker 1 My Firefest, we alluded to it earlier, but

Speaker 1 everyone's got their favorite like toy they have as a kid. Uh, you stop, mine was

Speaker 1 Mr. Potato Head.
For real, yeah, of course. It was like, you know, I struggled with friends, and for a while, it was like, he's you,

Speaker 1 he's my guy friend, he's my boy,

Speaker 1 Mr. Potato Head.

Speaker 3 Did you just like him because of Toy Story?

Speaker 1 And then, of course, well, it was like, I liked him. It was like, you know, you like someone and they go mainstream, and you're like, oh, I like them even before now.

Speaker 3 You were a fan of his before you were in school. I have a question.

Speaker 1 Was it? But they changed him today.

Speaker 1 They massacred my boy. They have a master and they neutered him.
Yeah, they're giving him a spud, a gender-neutral new name.

Speaker 1 Are they shaking away his dick?

Speaker 1 Isn't there a Mrs.

Speaker 2 Potato Head? Yes.

Speaker 1 So what the hell's the problem? Right, and I don't know if they're changing her. My sister liked the Mrs.
Potato Head. I like the Mr.
and now it's like,

Speaker 1 Would I ever even got into him in the first place?

Speaker 3 So why would hypothetically you had a stash of old Mr. Potato Head genitals, you stand to make a lot of money because they're about to raise NFT.
NFT him with NFT my potato head dicks.

Speaker 1 I would love to talk to the founder of Mr.

Speaker 2 Potato Head.

Speaker 1 Like, what? How high were you, dude?

Speaker 1 Well, they were this dumbest toy ever.

Speaker 6 No, they were originally just

Speaker 1 potatoes. It was potatoes.
Yeah, they were sold the accessories.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he must have been high there then when he just started sticking shit in a potato to keep his kids busy. Yeah, I feel like in like the fucking 1900s, that's, you know.
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 They could play with like a circular wooden, like, and a stick. Yeah,

Speaker 1 like sticking shit in a potato is better than Game Boy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's like, cool, I can take this with me wherever I go.
I can take it in the horse.

Speaker 1 Call of Duty used to be just throwing rocks at trains. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Good Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 Sad Fire Fest. Is that it, Hank? PFT, what's your fire fest? Yeah, it's been a tough week.

Speaker 1 Tough day, I guess.

Speaker 3 My fire fest is

Speaker 3 I'm passing a kidney stone. Or I did pass a kidney stone like a couple hours ago.
I don't know if it's still going through right now, and I've got more.

Speaker 3 You're with stones I was stones I went to the urologist today they checked me out which it's always weird because they you know they got to make you take your pants off did they look at your dick looked at my dick everything's normal um but they did you laugh no because i feel like urologists have to have a line for every person that they've got like they think of what their joke line is going to be

Speaker 3 when they look at your chart so that's not super uncomfortable when they're just like moving your dick and so mine was uh hey uh are you related to that pilot that landed the the plane on the river?

Speaker 3 And he's like, because your name is similar. And I was like,

Speaker 3 my instinct was,

Speaker 3 in my sick brain from five years of doing this podcast, the only thing I could say back to him was, you know, they named a drink after that guy.

Speaker 1 That's perfect.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's like, oh, really?

Speaker 3 And then I just didn't say the punchline to the joke. So I just set up the joke, didn't add in the gray goose and the splash of water.

Speaker 3 But that's the only thing that my warped brain could think to say as another man with a glove is touching my penis roughly. I think that's fair.

Speaker 1 I think, yeah, I'm lucky I got that out.

Speaker 3 I honestly, I felt like that was a great interaction after he left the room. Yes.
But yeah, I was currently passing one a little bit ago.

Speaker 3 I think, I don't know, I can't tell if it's still going through my kidney or not right now, but sounds like you're milking it. My inside is like the infinity stones, the infinity gauntlet.

Speaker 1 When's the last stone? Huh? Like, is this going to be, you know?

Speaker 3 He said I have at least six.

Speaker 1 How much longer do we have to live with these stones?

Speaker 3 A lot. I'm going to be milking it hard.
I'm going to be talking about it.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I've got an appointment. Buckle up.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got to name more of them. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. Rock Cartwright.

Speaker 3 Pardon my Takey O spikes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 I like that one. Spike Jordan.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Bottom line is no more salads. I fucked up by eating salads for a week, and now look at me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Although they were...
PFT came back. I was like, hey, how are you doing? And he's like, yeah, they told me that sodium is really bad.

Speaker 1 And then as he was saying that, as the words were coming out of his mouth, he had an order come in. Like

Speaker 1 Enrique, who works at Front Test, walked over. He was like, I was like, I just want to drank the tank.
And it was just wings and french fries. And I'm like, well.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 3 I realized how ridiculous it was because I looked at the receipt of my order. And on Seamless, when I ordered the wings, it's lemon pepper wings.

Speaker 3 And my request for additional notes on there was, can you add in extra seasoning, please? So, maybe it is some you know time to cut back occasionally on the soda.

Speaker 1 Does this have anything to do with the hat?

Speaker 3 No, nothing to do with the hat.

Speaker 1 Just trying to, yeah. Yeah, if anything, the hat's been helping.
Yeah, all right. My firefighters, I have a zit on my nose that's coming in, and it's fucking painful.
Doesn't look as bad in person.

Speaker 1 Let me see. It looked bad on that video.

Speaker 2 I look like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Speaker 1 Really bad. It's also just really painful.
Yeah, I look like one of those guys who's been drinking for 80 years, and his nose is going to fall off. Yeah, if you squeeze it off.

Speaker 1 If you squeeze it hard enough you'll look like a clownface t-shirt it hasn't come out it's like maybe it's an ingrown hair it just sucks it's pretty much the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone i'm sorry that you're going through that right thank you i appreciate that

Speaker 3 yeah i know i came in hey you know what yeah billy said all these comments about us seeming old he did what you're getting you're getting an acne outbreak look at you you're basically a 13 are you doing a cycle over there yeah little trt yeah trying to keep up with the young buck over here one thing that we should all acknowledge is when Billy was having that conversation with our boss Erica, he was talking about how old me and Big Cat were to somebody that's older, to a woman who's older than Big Cat.

Speaker 3 How do you think that made our CEO old?

Speaker 1 And also threw in 27-year-old Hank.

Speaker 3 You basically called our CEO old to her face.

Speaker 1 Also, in a way, that made it seem like we all have the same job. Yeah.
Billy, I have one more day of motivation, then I will stop.

Speaker 6 I was just literally trying to show value.

Speaker 1 I just want that video to get to a million views. So everyone knows who stabbed me in the back.

Speaker 1 When I'm laying

Speaker 1 past a million. Oh, it is? All right, good.
So when I, well, I'm still going to tweet tomorrow. But when I'm laying dead in the gutter and they're like, how did he die? Well, old age.
Billy football.

Speaker 1 Billy football came and fucking gutted him.

Speaker 6 That was father time. What's your firefest, Billy? So last week, there were...

Speaker 1 It's not your pants? No, this is so much more...

Speaker 6 These pants, look, they're keeping me warm. They're work pants.
Covering my...

Speaker 1 What are you in the red?

Speaker 1 You're like, yeah, I'm wearing this thing. It's just keeping me alive.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, they're work pants. I'm at work.
It's like, no, they're work pants for if you're on the construction stage.

Speaker 3 Anyway,

Speaker 6 last week, there was reports out of Tasmania that they spotted the Tasmanian tiger, which went the last, so humans suck and tend to kill large predators when they go into a new area.

Speaker 6 So the Tasmanian tiger, the last one, died in captivity in 1936.

Speaker 6 The Tasmanian tiger is a large marsupial, that carnivorous marsupial, that the only reason they say it's a tiger is because it has stripes on its back.

Speaker 1 Imagine it's a bad thing. It's like a nurse shark.

Speaker 3 It's just a name.

Speaker 1 It's not actually a tiger shark. Dude, you posted that picture, or I saw that picture.
It looks like Stella. It looks like my dog.
Yeah. Yeah.
So maybe it's like

Speaker 3 a brindle marsupial.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Well, the stripes, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like half kangaroo, though.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's like a...

Speaker 6 Imagine like a dingo with a pouch with stripes on its back and like a really big big mouth.

Speaker 3 God was drunk when he made Australia, the entire continent. He was like, he was celebrating after making everything.
He's like, I did a great job.

Speaker 3 Look at this. This is an elephant.
Look at this. It's an orchid flower.
It's so beautiful and intricate.

Speaker 3 And then, look, here's a fucked-up duck-bill platypus that looks like it's a beaver that I stapled like a bill to its nose.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's giant sharks and fucking little enlarged squirrels that crawl really slow up the trees and have syphilis.

Speaker 3 Now I'm going to make an island where everything that you touch will kill you.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so there was a trail cam footage of what looks like

Speaker 1 a family. Wait, hold on, one more.
Uh, what else we got?

Speaker 3 Oh, there's a giant rock that I'm going to put out here that just looks like a chick's mound.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the biggest spiders you've ever fucking seen that you have to kill with a shovel, otherwise, it'll eat your babies.

Speaker 3 And you're only allowed to live within two miles of the coast on the entire fucking island so that you're closer to the sharks.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 wombats, poop, cubes.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's pretty cool. They're cubes.

Speaker 3 I wish I

Speaker 3 cubes if I have too many painkillers.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 there was a trail cam of what they thought was a family of this, and everyone was freaking out because they're like, nature is healing. Like, this extinct animal is actually not extinct.

Speaker 6 And it turns out it was just a bunch of wild dogs.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So I saw the biologist that was taking credit for it.
And I guess he's a pretty respected, like, he's a big name in the field of animal, like, zoology. And he was walking down the street.

Speaker 3 It looked like he was probably like halfway to being Johnny Damon levels of drunk. And he just had like an open beer can in his hands.

Speaker 2 He was like, great news. We discovered the tiger.

Speaker 3 The tiger's not dead. And he's like, this, he's like a famous doctor in Australia.
Oh, yeah. And he's just fucking hammered walking down the street.

Speaker 3 It's like, that is the most perfect Australian doctor that I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 Like, he's probably like

Speaker 3 the 40th drunkest person in his time. He's probably his life's worst.

Speaker 1 So he just found a couple dogs?

Speaker 6 Well, they looked like Tasmanian tigers.

Speaker 1 Did I see a picture of them? By the way, I'm looking at the cubes, the wombats,

Speaker 1 poop.

Speaker 2 It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 6 Anyway, turns out it wasn't, and it was really disappointing because I got really excited.

Speaker 1 You're a fucking dog.

Speaker 6 I almost started drinking. No, I'm joking.

Speaker 1 Jake, trying to take all our tigers away.

Speaker 7 I present to you one of the biggest scams in America.

Speaker 1 Chopstick.

Speaker 1 Chopstick.

Speaker 7 I keep losing mine. It is impossible to finish a stick.

Speaker 1 I've been on this for a while. Oh, really? But in a different way.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. No.
Like, I have to buy a new one every week.

Speaker 1 You know what you got to do? You got to fucking wear it as a necklace. You're also, they've also addicted it.

Speaker 2 You've gotten addicted to it.

Speaker 1 Yes. When you don't even need it at all.

Speaker 3 Our darling Jake is addicted to chapstick and to nose spray.

Speaker 8 I'm over that now, knock on wood. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's ridiculous. How many days sober are you? Did you eat your chapstick, Jake?

Speaker 9 Your lips get chopped.

Speaker 1 My lips don't ever get chapped. Neither do mine.
Do you see that? Mine get chapped.

Speaker 3 Mine get chapped, but you know what?

Speaker 1 Give him a kiss.

Speaker 3 It's because I use chapstick. Right.
But to my point, you got the spike in me.

Speaker 7 Just buy one. It's cheap.
It's two, three bucks, but then you have to buy one next week and the week after.

Speaker 1 Do you know anyone who's ever finished a chopstick?

Speaker 7 Nope.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Chaps' wife.

Speaker 1 Oh, get it? Damn. That's good.
That is good. That's good.
That is good.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 That's the show. Everyone, numbers? 99.
20. 18.
8. 32.
17. I'm fucking.

Speaker 3 Oh, shout out, Mike Greenberg. Mike Greenberg, they just announced he's going to be doing the NFL draft.

Speaker 1 Oh good, another show.

Speaker 3 More greeny.

Speaker 1 All greeny all the time.

Speaker 1 He seriously has had a power play for every job job that he has.

Speaker 3 Yes,

Speaker 3 he wanted it just to be ESP and Greenie.

Speaker 1 73.

Speaker 3 73.

Speaker 3 He should also do like an over-the-top premium.

Speaker 1 First timer. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like OnlyFan style.

Speaker 1 That was the first timer? Holy shit. Hank?

Speaker 1 Still nothing. Liam said 17.
It's crazy that we have only had Liam, no, Billy, Liam, and Jake.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 3 Billy, do you have an Animal Fact Force?

Speaker 2 Yes. Wombat's Puka.

Speaker 7 I didn't blow my low too early on that one.

Speaker 6 Off the coast of Ireland, there is an island of feral wallabies that just live there.

Speaker 3 That sounds pretty cool.

Speaker 3 Nice.

Speaker 6 Wallabies are like smaller kangaroos.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Love you guys.

Speaker 8 See you guys Monday.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 I'm about to say I'd say the way

Speaker 2 Today's another day to find

Speaker 2 Shy

Speaker 2 Oh, I've been coming for your love of King, shy it away.

Speaker 2 Oh, I've been coming for your love of King. Take

Speaker 2 on

Speaker 2 me,

Speaker 2 take

Speaker 2 me

Speaker 2 to hold

Speaker 2 Needless to say,

Speaker 2 I'm all set in spumpy stone a little way.

Speaker 2 Fully limp, life is okay.

Speaker 2 Say I'm me.

Speaker 2 It's no better to be safe this summer.

Speaker 2 Say I'm me.

Speaker 2 It's no better to be safe this summer. Take

Speaker 2 on

Speaker 2 me.

Speaker 2 take

Speaker 2 me

Speaker 2 all

Speaker 2 I'll be

Speaker 2 gone

Speaker 2 All things that we say

Speaker 2 just to play my worries away

Speaker 2 You're all things I've got to remember If you're shying away

Speaker 2 I'll be coming for you anyway

Speaker 2 Shine away.

Speaker 2 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 2 Take

Speaker 2 on me.

Speaker 2 Take

Speaker 2 me

Speaker 2 on.

Speaker 2 I'll be

Speaker 2 gone.

Speaker 2 I'll be

Speaker 2 gone.