Max Homa, Arian Foster, Tiger Woods Accident And Were Going To Be Rich Off Topshot

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer.
We have Max Homa, fresh off his Genesis Open win. Genesis Halftime Show.
Genesis Halftime Open win. And then we have Arian Foster doing a draft of the top conspiracy theories in honor of the debut of Macrodosing, PFT and Arian's new podcast.
We will leave it up to the people to vote. So listen to that.
And then we'll put it up to a vote. And the winner of the vote gets a free T-shirt.
Yeah. Whatever conspiracy theory wins, we will send we'll send that person parties involved

implicated parties involved yes uh we have obviously tiger uh woods news we're gonna get right back to the show auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it so don't get stuck paying more for less coverage switch to usaa auto insurance and you could start saving money in no time. Get a quote

today. Restrictions apply.

USAA!

Alright, back to part... Switch to USAA Auto Insurance and you could start saving money in no time.
Get a quote today. Restrictions apply.

USAA!

Alright, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's go.

Boys!

Boys!

Now in the streets there is violence

And I'm not allowed to solve the work to be done No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff

Work to be done

No place to hang out or wash in

And then I can't

They all on the sun

Oh no

We're gonna rock down to

Electric Avenue

And then we'll take it higher

Oh we're gonna rock down to

Electric Avenue

It's Pardon My Take presented by Thank you. Avenue, and then we're taking higher, oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're to be higher, and then we're taking higher, and then we're taking higher.
Oh, by the way, my Doge figurine arrived today. Oh, nice.
I'm wearing my Doge sweatshirt to the moon. No, we are going to be rich on Top Shot.
Now, the real news today was Tiger Woods got into a car accident. We hope he's okay.
It would have felt weird to start the show being like, today is February 24th and Tiger Woods got in a car accident. Yeah.
We're just not trying to bum you out heavily. Right off.
But we should talk about it a little bit. We obviously hope that Tiger's okay.
Yep. It seems like he is.
Yeah. You know what? Right now we're waiting for the facts to come out.
So I did break my cardinal rule of just not tweeting right away when something happens. I didn't even make a joke of it.
I made more of an observation that the L.A. Sheriff's County tweeted in the Masters green color, green and yellow color, to announce that Tiger Woods got in a car accident.
That was in poor taste. That was my bad.
I do hope he's okay. As Max Homa and Brooks Koepka fans, we hope the Tigers are very healthy.
No, yes, exactly. No, I do...
It's a rule that is in place for a reason that there's no reason to tweet about anything when, like, facts are murky. Yeah.
Because no one cares that much about my opinion. So that was my fuck-up, my bad.
I took a Mecca Okafor and Karon Butler. Yeah.
How many pounds was Ryan Gomes? 265 out of high school. Yeah, so...
Yeah hope that Tiger's okay. It's still a little bit unclear what the injuries are, how serious they are.
It's probably better to err on the side of caution. Correct.
And also, here's what I didn't do, and I don't think people should do, is speculate on what could have caused it. The real story is that he got in a car accident.
You hope he's okay. The actual car crash looked really bad.
It seems like from all reports that it is something with his legs. I saw a tweet from someone in his camp saying that he's in stable condition, so he's going to be okay.
But there will clearly be injuries from it. This feels like one of those situations where TMZ is shockingly just going to crush everybody in terms of breaking the most accurate, most up-to-date news.
Yes. They pull like rabbits out of their hats a couple times a year when it comes to major celebrity stories like this.
I feel like I'm waiting on TMZ to wait for the facts to come out before I will let my facts come out. Yeah, so here's the report I was reading.
Tiger Woods has a non-life-threatening injuries per spokespersonman on LACBS affiliate just now. So, yeah, let's hope he's okay.
And let's hope, you know, it's weird to say it. I saw a lot of people tweeting.
It's kind of weird to be like, I hope he plays golf again. But it's also like the inner sports fan to be like, yeah, I hope he plays golf again.
I hope he's okay. And also just know that we interviewed Max Homa on Monday before this happened.
So we do ask him a couple questions about getting to meet Tiger. Which he is his hero.
He had said that he had been trying to get Tiger to give him a high five at Riviera for the last 20 years. Right.
So we asked him a little bit about that, but that was done before any of this. So if you hear him talking about Tiger, it's not that he's glossing over it.
It was just in the past. It was, yeah.
We did it on Monday when we could get him right off. He's not a time traveler not a time off the win uh okay so that uh happened again hope it's hope everything's okay but we are it's a real thing to see especially because like i mean the like i i don't know it's weird to go back in time and think about the kobe you know how shocking all that was and then you hear this and you see the picture and you're like holy fucking shit that is way more severe and i know that there were some people in in the barstool office and i i understand it uh in that the used there used to be a yearly like joke tweet story that would go around being like joe flacco or drew breeze or jay cutler broke their legs in a car accident yeah i think I think it happened twice to Drew Brees.
It happened once to Terry Bradshaw, right? Mike Fleur who killed Terry Bradshaw at one point. It's weird to see that and realize that there's actually a lot of people who probably weren't on the internet in 2013-14, where this actually did happen all the time.
So when you see Tiger Woods, car accident, leg injuries, it you it's a throwback obviously that's not the case here but that i can see the confusion there yeah um yeah when i first stories were crazy when i first saw it come out and honestly like one of the better life hacks that i've had in the last couple years is turning on tweet notifications from adam schefter yeah because he's always got everything he's on top of everything when when it out from Adam, if it's an MRI or if it's an X-ray of somebody's hand or if it's the fact that Cam Newton's on the Patriots and we get to break it in the middle of the show, it's actually like a good thing. That's Brian Tape.
Yeah, he hardly ever. What you're still waiting for.
Yep, that's true. He hardly ever falls for any fake news stories.
So he's pretty good about the retweet button. So, all right.
So, yeah, hope Tiger's okay. Hope everything works out.
Scary, scary news story. But we are going to get rich.
We are going to get rich. Top shot.
So I spent the morning being skeptical and the afternoon being a true believer. Dude, I'm such a believer because the second I realized that it was exactly what trading cards are except online, I'm in.
Because some guy just sat down one day and was like, I'm going to make pictures of baseball players worth a lot of money. Yes.
Because people will want to look at them. And if you think about that guy, when that guy came out, people were like, dude, you're crazy.
Nobody wants those. So here's why I was skeptical.
I was skeptical because I live life with two hard and fast rules. One everyone's trying to scam everyone at all times okay so someone's gonna get their nut off while everyone else holds the bag if you're not if you're not doing the scamming you're getting scammed correct yeah two is when i hear about a scam or this isn't a scam this is real when i hear about something the latest and greatest new thing it's too late yeah and that's really that is i think truthful uh the minute that it hits my ears or i understand something the money that was to be made has already been made i am the mush the cooler whatever you want to call it but when i show up to the party the party's usually over wouldn't you guys agree yeah i think like i think that's fair so i walk in the door and i'm like hey let's all get drunk and everyone's like dude time to go home there there are studies that have been done like i know in the tech industry it's like you've got your the people that develop the product then you have like the early stage adopters that really get to become experts on it then you have like the tipping point and then just past the tipping point you have like the sucker public that gets in at the very end and doesn't really understand where this thing came from that we are we're not the last of the heart i think we're the first of the suckers so sometimes we can get in and we'll be a little bit sucker we'll be less suckery than the majority of people but we're still like the first sucker Yeah, we're the first tranche of suckers because they know that like, okay, I might be maybe a couple days ahead of Time Magazine, but that might be like pushing it.
It might not be a couple days. It might be a day before your parents read it in a magazine or a newspaper.
I might have found out about it 24 hours before that so i i'm typically like four days before my mom puts a facebook post up about something yeah and about five days before rick riley makes a joke about it right so that is exactly you're right that's where we are i think we could still we could still get rich off this though because i bought the most pristine mint condition gif of alex caruso blocking james harden today it is sick paid 500 bucks for it oh here's here's the thing real cash yeah well it was it's all made up yeah so money's not real monopoly um you couldn't use coinbase to pay for stuff oh okay so i i tried to buy a jimmy butler gif right but i couldn't this is what made me skeptical about the entire operation. I was excited.
I was pumped up. I was ready to spend $3,000 on a gift of Jimmy Butler hitting a jump shot.
I was ready to do it. I was trying to do it.
And the technology was like, hey, we're not selling them right now. Chill.
The site's not working. If you can't take $3,000 from me, the first of the suckers,ers to me that's a red flag that you're not really going to be able to bilk the real idiots out there yeah you know well so i have a different experience so far i have someone else running my account for me and uh i this is truly i'm too old billy uh i was immediately gifted three of the same auto porter plays and i I don't know if those people realize, like, I actually do watch the Bulls, and I know Otto Porter's not.
Like, this isn't going to be valuable. So thank you for the gift, but it's clear you're probably using it as a tax write-off, trying to be like, that's a loss on Otto Porter.
How about some Patrick Williams, the rookie for the Bulls, who has, by the way, one of my favorite new nicknames, the Paw. Why is he the Paw? He's like the Claw.
He's like Kawhi, but he's the Paw. Okay.
Stacey King's been calling him the Paw. I kind of like that.
Yeah, isn't that nice? Paws only have – they've only got the three fingers and the thumbs. They're huge.
JPP should be the Paw. The Paw.
Yeah. Paw.
And it's Patrick Williams, I think. Yeah.
So, I mean, that's cool. I wish that they would expand the field a little bit because right now it's like when Tops used to come out with baseball cards, they'd have everybody on there.
They'd have like even the bench players. They'd have the backup shortstop on there.
But now it's like just the stars on here. So I can't even find a deli.
There are no deli. Maybe they're like super expensive.
They're like the Black Orchid Magic card. Yeah.
My entire investment strategy is to corner the market on Lou Dort. Okay.
So I'm putting everyone in the Dortcher chamber. We're going to buy all the Lou Dort.
And then when Lou Dort wins MVP, everyone's going to be like, where are all the Lou Dort top shots? Oh, yeah. One guy owns them all.
I like. We got the Dortcher chamber.
We got Matthew Skellovadova. Fellas, we're going to be.
I'm pretty leveraged with MarketSmart right now. Are you? I got a couple steals.
Okay, let's just take a step back for a second. And I did make this point earlier today when Skeptic Big Cat came out.
But PFT, do you think there's a little bit, just a tiny bit, I made this point that we're in a pandemic, the economy, a lot of people are out of work, It's tough times for people. Do you think that the rise in get-rich-quick schemes might have something to do with that? I think that we're going to see a lot more weird shit like this.
You know what? I actually think that the top shot is the tipping point of the get-rich-quick schemes because up until now, they've been remarkably successful. We've seen a lot of get rich quick schemes that have actually gotten a lot of

people rich quick.

Well,

a lot of people have also lost money on GameStop and MC and all that stuff.

Right.

But I feel like right now is when we're hitting the time zone where the

pandemic lasted long enough where people were cooped up in their houses,

thinking of these crazy ideas and then starting to develop them like eight

months,

nine months later when they actually hit the market. like think about the shittiest ideas you had about the world and things that sounded like a good idea to you in late march early april last year riding a bike around manhattan riding a bike around manhattan in the rain uh starting a video game franchise with a fake character that would no one would ever watch that nope but like we did people did have terrible ideas about everything back then yep uh still do to this day and now those quarantine ideas those isolation ideas are now about to just flood the market right so this might be the last of the good quarantine ideas to flood the market regardless when i see people spending you know a hundred thousand dollars on gifts i to be a part of that ride.
Yes, and I mean, I've seen Billy's mining. What are you mining, Billy? Pie.
Yeah, see, there's all kinds of things. Every time I go back to my desk, Billy and Marty Mush, and I'm not going to lump you in there, Hank.
That's all right, I'm in. Have a new scheme that's like, hey, this is the way.
Follow me to the land of yachts and mansions. So I had an idea because people are getting really into figuring out different derivatives.
Yeah, but those are like the guys in Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, exactly.
Those guys went to jail. Not all of them.
I like how it's like, hey, you got to be a shark. You got to be like Jordan Belfort.
Like, that guy was a crook and a criminal and a felon. But he also got laid.
Like, those guys got so laid. He did.
Bernie Madoff got laid. They got laid on planes.
Yeah. They did quaaludes.
It's not even the Mile High Club, I don't think, if you just fuck out in the open on a plane. No.
This is sweet. So I was thinking that we got to have our own way of selling stock and stuff, right? Like the Green Bay Packers do it.
I'm an owner. I feel good about being an owner.
I don't regret that investment. What if we sold stock in Billy? What? No, we'll buy it.
As his owners, couldn't we issue stock in Billy? You don't own me. Yeah, we do.
Did you read your contract? You didn't read your contract Talk into the mic Right now, there's a bull market on Billy Billy's got a little bit of shine on him Billy's underweight Couldn't strip away the parts too Sell your gallbladder Your kidneys My organs are Your eyeballs? I don't want to brag, but I probably have some pristine organs. We could like Bain Capital U.
We could be like a private equity firm. I bet your right hand could fetch.
If we put it out there on the market, we're like, this right hand was a college quarterback at one point. It's over 10 inches.
There you go. We can transfer it to Trey Lance.
Maybe just the fingers.

We'll just sell the fingers.

Pieces of Billy.

Yeah, I honestly think- Collectible pieces of Billy.

We could make money selling either pictures or actual parts of Billy.

And we just blockchain it.

Yeah, that's the tricky part.

I don't know how to do the blockchain besides just saying it's the blockchain.

Right.

It's just the blockchain. You've got to mine it and it's the blockchain.
HFTsFTs. Can you get in trouble by saying it? If it's HFT, we're good.
If you say something's blockchain, can somebody be like that's fraud if it's not on the blockchain? Blockchain is what makes all these things possible to have any value because it almost makes them like a material good. The blockchain is God.
Their history. HFT.
Okay. Yeah, Billy's on the blockchain.
Yeah. Pieces of Billy are up for sale.
NFT. Come on, Hank.
You're the guy that I'm trusting in all of this, and you can't even get whatever the NFT means. Two out of three.
No, Hank was thinking high-frequency trading, right? Yeah. NFT is the whole...
When I said, how do I know this isn't a scam? You're like, NFT. Right.
Non-fungible tokens. Fungible.
God damn it. We're living in the dumbest times.
We're living in the dumbest times. GIF is worth now.
All right. People get so mad, by the way, when you just call it a GIF.
Yeah. But that's what it is.
Yeah, it's a GIF. You're buying a GIF.
It's a GIF. Right.
I mean, that's the thing. It's like trading cards.
The concept of trading cards also sounds ridiculous. But with a trading card, you're buying a picture of someone.
That's maybe, that's really where the skepticism came from. It's the inner dad in me where I'm like, I don't want to see you get hurt.
Because I do think there's a little bit of a vibe, an undercurrent in the office where people think, I'm about to get fucking rich. I don't think that's going to happen.
I don't think I'm going to get rich. I think I'm going to be in the market.
I'm going to be... The real values, if you can get packs, it's something you've got to be in tune with, get in the raffles, hope to get lucky.
I need a pack. I don't think I'm going to retire off this money, but I think I'm going to make this money work for me.
Okay, here we go. Just listen to this.
Rather than just, you know... This is the description of my GIF.
And that's why you hustle back on D. Los Angeles Lakers fan favorite guard Alex Caruso channels teammate LeBron James with this beautiful chase-down block on James Harden of the Houston Rockets during their Western Conference semifinal series on September 12, 2020.
That sounds like it's worth at least $700. You should get Mark Jackson to read it.
Do you sell it? It's also, by the way, PFT, it's also the only time you'll get an NBA Finals game on September 12th. Good point.
Yep. And James Harden playing in a, what, semifinal? Actually, like, going for a layup in a semifinal? Or semifinals.
They're not finals games. Yeah, instead of passing the ball? A playoff game in September 12th? What a moment.
Yeah, Billy. Quick question.
Do you set the price to sell it, or

is it a market price you have to sell?

I don't know any price.

Don't ask too many questions. The algorithm does it.

The quick way to get me back out of Top

Shot is when you ask me questions

that I can't answer, and then I feel dumb

again. So please, no more questions

at this time. Okay, let's do

Hot Seat Cool Throne, and we've got

two interviews coming up, and then some good segments and guys on chicks at the other side. Hank, Hot Seat, Cool Throne.
My hot seat is Grand Theft Auto. Illinois lawmakers, they want to ban Grand Theft Auto because there's been a spike in carjackings in Chicago.
What? This is like, you know, Boomer. This is like 1992 and all over again.
It's only about 17 years too late on this one. Yeah, I know.
This's a boomer. This is like 1992.
Only about 17 years too late. Right.
On this one. Yeah, I know.
This is the Marilyn Manson thing where it's like he, listening to his music, makes you violent. Right.
My other hot seat is Oklahoma football. What a video.
A tough look for the entire program. A much bigger Oklahoma football player getting smoked.
Also, you know, good thing for MMA, like a good advertising for MMA. Short kings, you can beat up the big bad bully if you just do some MMA training.
Do you think, so the video, if you haven't seen it, was essentially bar fight porn. Yeah, like everyday Ben Askren versus the big bad college football bully.
So do you think that there's part of the team? The fact that the guy was wearing a turtleneck was perfect. Yeah, part of the football team is like, he's a placeholder, right? Oh, is he? He's a wide receiver slash holder.
It definitely hurts the Oklahoma football brand to be like, watch this Oklahoma football player get beat up. It's like, but he's a placeholder.
He's a specialist. He is a specialist.
So the actual fight, the way it went down, there should have been a lot of red flags that came up for the holder. One, the kid that he was fighting, he just had wrestler's hair.
That is a wrestler haircut and a wrestler smirk. You should be able to, I could spot that a mile away.
Two already bleeding and he's smiling with the blood and he's happy three he's wearing cowboy boots no cowboy hat that is that's the opposite of what i'm doing like if you see me in a bar you want like i am the perfect person for you to fight right but if you see a guy who's wearing just the boots not trying to show off with a cowboy hat that That dude is in. He will fuck you up.
He will throw you into a grain combine. Four, when he said, when he turned to his buddy and said, which one do you want? Yeah.
That should have been a quick de-escalation. My bad, guys.
Because that was a line out of the Steven Seagal movie where they just start ripping people's hearts out of their chest. Five.
And most importantly. Do you look like he's on steroids? Cauliflower ears.
Yes. That is the number one.
Well, yeah, that's actually one. Yeah, that's actually...
Cauliflower ears. You might not have been able to see his ear, though.
Yeah, I couldn't actually see the... People said cauliflower ear.
I didn't see the cauliflower ear. You just assumed.
With that hair, I assumed cauliflower ear. That's like the oldest...
That's the oldest rule in the book. Like, if a guy has cauliflower ears, stay far away.
Well, we actually discussed this, I assume cauliflower ears. That's the oldest rule in the book.
If a guy has cauliflower ears, stay far away. We actually discussed this, I think, a few years ago on the podcast, Big Cat, but it would be a great business idea for a clinic to open up that would give you cosmetic cauliflower ears.
That's what they should do for the simp kid. Yeah, we call it, what was it, Beethoven? Yeah.
Who went deaf? Yes. Yeah, he got his ears boxed in.
Call it Beethoven's. Yeah, call it Beethoven's.
Come to Beethoven's and you'll look tough as fuck. So wait, those are hot seats.
Those are my hot seats. My cool throne is Bobby Shmurda.
Oh. Rapper.
Got out of jail today. Sure.
The cap fell? Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a big day. Big day for rap.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Huge day we've been waiting for this day. DaBaby didn't die, did he? No.
Okay, somebody started that rumor on Billy's Twitch stream last night. What? Yeah.
JoJo Siwa might come after him, so that could happen soon. Okay.
My best DaBaby story that I always tell is that I saw him landing a helicopter in a strip club parking lot. Wait, do you have multiple? That was DaBaby.
No, that was DaBaby. Do you have multiple DaBaby stories? No, yeah, that's my best one.
My second best one is right now when I got DaBaby confused with Lil Baby. It's Lil Baby.
Uh-huh. Not as good a story.
What's the difference between them? One is Da, one is Lil. Okay.
I'm pretty sure I saw DaBaby. I don't think Lil Baby could afford a helicopter landing in a strip club parking lot.
Oh, yeah. That's a DaBaby.
Oh, is it? Lil Baby's way bigger? Yes. Okay.
That's confusing. You would understand why, like, the littlest baby being bigger than DaBaby.
DaBaby, there's only one. He is DaBaby.
I think he's a- Little Baby. There's a lot of little babies.
There's a T-H-A baby, too. Whoa.
A lot of babies. What about big baby? That's Glenn Davis.
He's retired. Yeah.
Okay, good point. All right.
PFT. My hot seat is Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington football team, because it sounds like Jeff Bezos, the richest man in the world, wants to buy the Washington football team, wants to become the majority owner of the team.
So there's some reports. There's a lot of, you know what there is? There's a ton of scuttlebutt out there.
There's chatter. There's a lot of chatter that Jeff Bezos has been in discussions with different financing groups, although I don't know why it would need to involve anybody else in this process if you're none of them pay cash they all they all just

get finance i guess so but like that's kind of a beta move if you're the richest person in the

world and you choose to like waste time financing a sale when you could just like write one check

hand it to him i don't know if he could i never understand this stuff when i see people with with

roses in their uh twitter username being like if jeff Bezos just emptied out his savings account, he could cure world hunger. I don't think that's how it works.
I don't think he's liquid like that. Right.
Well, he's pretty liquid. He's got a bunch of cards.
I've seen some of those texts. I think, actually, if he did get liquid, it would crumble the world's markets.
Right. Yeah.
No, I think that part's real. If he went to the bank and he was like i'll take 80 billion dollars and he also wants to like if he's like i want to sell all my stock and cash out everything yeah i think the whole world okay so so yeah it does make sense that he would have to involve other people and why use your money when you can use other people's money right you don't get rich by not borrowing when interest rates are at historic lows correct so he's trying to buy the washington football team allegedly dan snyder said he's not going to sell i believe he's never i believe him too but if jeff bezos who is the richest man in the world wants to pay like six seven billion dollars for an nfl franchise if dan snyder doesn't want to sell still at that point you're going to see all the owners all the rest of the owners in the league try their very best to push Dan Snyder doesn't want to sell still at that point, you're going to see all the owners, all the rest of the owners in the league, try their very best to push Dan Snyder out because that will make all of their franchises increased by like another billion dollars.
So like these dudes, these rich dudes, they'll band together and they'll act as one when it's in all their interests. But when there's like 30 other dudes that are going to benefit and Dan Snyder is not, they're going to turn on dan snyder so quick but the problem is dan snyder probably knows some shit about every single owner that he could then just release yeah and dan snyder does feel like one if you had to make a list of spite owners he's probably at the top of it so i would agree with you if we were talking about jerry jones but dan snyder i don't think he's smart enough or the people that he would hire to collect dirt on other people i think would just end up being yes men and not do they just end up playing basketball and doing cocaine off each other's bodies okay but here's another counterpoint though if you're jerry jones dan snyder being in the division you want to keep that there it's well yeah rather having jeff bezos own a a team and put robots in charge of everything and automate it and win all the games.
And Jeff Bezos would have access to all the Amazon web services next-gen stats. That would be a great scouting department.
I will say I would much rather have... I really want Jeff Bezos to own the football team.
It's been my dream. It would effectively put an end to my dream of one day owning the team.
But I would accept this, and I would go far as to say I will only shop, I will only consume things that I buy from Amazon for Jeff Bezos. Brave.
So, Jeff, that's another $3,000 in your pocket for the next year. That's a grand race.
A calendar year. It's your call, Jeff.
Do you want my money or not?

Yeah. Court me, Jeff.

My cool throne is

accountability. Because

the kid apologized to Cam Newton.

The kid from the 7 on 7

camp. Huh.
Sounds like the wheels are

in motion. Said he was very sorry about it.

And now Cam's going to mentor

him? Cam might bring him under his

wing. Cam's absolutely going to meet up

with this kid. You think? Yeah.

No, so I looked into this

I'm going to go him? Cam might bring him under his wing. Cam's absolutely going to meet up with this kid.
You think? Yeah. No, so I looked into this.
Cam Newton talks a lot of shit at these 7-on-7 camps. Right.
Like a ton. So honestly, if he was talking shit to that kid and that kid came back at him, take what you dish out.
Yeah. I don't feel bad for Cam anymore.
I actually think that the real problem here is seven-on-seven football. I think that the kid's not afraid of getting pancaked by defensive tackle, and then he learns that there are no consequences in life.
Next thing you know, he's talking shit to an all-pro quarterback. No, seven-on-seven is beautiful.
It gives you the reps and the passing game. Yeah, if you hate linemen, and you hate the real beauty of the game like us.
It's extra on top of that. 7-on-7 is a beautiful concept.
I don't know about that, Billy. I love 7-on-7.
You don't like running? You don't like power rushing attack? He doesn't like being rushed. Well, that's a different...
There's sometimes, not game modes, but formations where it's solely running. I like old school football with big uglies up front.
I like Wisconsin versus Stanford games. With Army watching.
Yeah. In the stands.
Yeah, Army providing security. Yes.
Seven on seven is awesome. Yeah, so I think that it is going to happen.
I think Cam is going to absolutely reach out to this kid, take him under his wing. But still, if I were Cam, that was your one chance to just clock a kid yes and no one would have ever blamed you and i i honestly i had this debate over the weekend i've been thinking a lot about it um i think that i could beat up any 10 year old in the country probably the world world i don't think that there's a 10 year old in the world whose ass i couldn't okay so nope i already disagree yeah i just know instagram have you seen a 10-year-old recently? No, no, no.
All right, so I'm going to throw some out there. I'm going to disagree.
I'll send you this kid to Instagram.

Have you seen a 10-year-old recently?

I saw this kid boxing with Will Terrio.

I did a Google image search of world's strongest 10-year-olds

and they're still little bitches.

Let me just throw this out there.

We've had Aaron Donald on the show.

Last time didn't go so well.

We've had DK Metcalf on the show, who's great.

Those guys both said that they were benching insane amounts of weight at 10 years old. Not at 10 years old.
Let me throw another one at you. Khabib.
I'm stronger. Khabib was wrestling bears when he was like seven.
But they were the friendly bears. The bears in Russia are like squirrels on college campuses.
There's a kid in Kazakhstan or Turkestan or one of the stands that could kick your ass. Not at 10 years old.
I think I could beat up any 10-year-old

in the entire world.

They get small little bones.

I'd outweigh almost all of them,

if not all of them.

Now, once you bump it up to like 12,

then there are a ton of those kids

that could kick my ass.

How old is Kendrick Perkins' kid?

Pre-puberty, I could defeat

any 10-year-old in the world.

How old is Kendrick Perkins' kid?

That kid's a fucking beast.

He's got to kick your ass. The viral video from last January he was in second grade which means he'd be in third grade now.
He's taller than you in second grade. Third grade is like...
Wait how tall is he? He's like 5'10". In second grade? Yeah he's enormous.
But he doesn't have the aggression he's a 10 year old. I think he might.
Kendrick Perkins put it in him. I would kick kindred perkins's son's ass oh my god this is january so he's nine now dude this kid might be older than 10 though this kid would fuck you up but even even if he's older than 10 a year ago he would fuck him no no because then that's when you really hit your growth i'm gonna be honest a 10 year old wrestler could definitely take you down absolutely not that you'd look like the oh you look like the oh i'm way better at wrestling than I am at fighting.
I would submit that kid. I would smother him.
This kid would fuck you up. I would put him in a fucking full Nelson, make him cry for his mom.
Alright, my hot seat is... Not that I want to do any of that, but I'm just saying, if it's like Andy Kaufman was the intergender wrestling champion of the entire world.
I could be the child man boxing champion of the world. I mean, people forget I am actually the belt holder in women's arm wrestling.
Yeah. So, yeah, it's not a brag.
It's a fact. I won the belt.
Fact. Strong man.
Strong. It felt like a...
She actually said that to me after.

She's like, you feel like a big strong man now.

I was like, yeah, I do.

Like, totally.

I got a belt.

All right.

Hot seat us.

Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen have a podcast.

I think this is the end of...

I think this is the end of the bubble.

Yeah.

Is it actually called Born in the USA?

I don't know, but it is.

Because that would be a great name for it if it's not.

And a great troll by Barry, yeah.

It's the end of the bubble.

I would say, wouldn't you put it out there?

If five years ago I asked you what would be the apex of podcasting,

I think it would be Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen doing a podcast.

And his fucking show came out on the same day as my new show.

What do those guys even talk about? So you're really rich. Yeah, I think the first one they did was a deep dive on Alex Jones.
Oh yeah, that's right. God damn it.
What if that's what it was and Obama was like, well, he was right. When you're right, you're right.
I Oh, man. Then my cool throw is Bartolo Colon because he hit a fucking dinger

and didn't touch home plate, but that doesn't matter.

He talked about it with Whitney, but the settings and the aesthetics

of that home run made it a million times better.

They're in the middle of a jungle.

Yes.

Bartolo Colon is going to be like a folk hero.

I hope we just get these videos from him every three years

for the next 40 years.

He already is, yeah. Could he just come back? Oh, he might be able to come back i bet you could i bet you give you some innings was that was that his uh inter-family annual baseball game like how they do the turkey bowl it's just his secret family versus real one yes uh billy go ahead my hot seats meek mill um vanessa bryant is very angry at meek mill for some of his leaked lyrics.
And those lyrics are. Cool topic, Billy.
What? No, go off. Yeah, and if I ever lack, I'm going out with my chopper.
It'd be another Kobe. So he's in very hot water for those lyrics.
And El Chapo's wife has been arrested for drug charges. What'd she do? Billy's learning, by the way.
Billy's learning that if he just picks the least funny topics, we won't steal them. That's true.
That's very true. Meek Mill has made insensitive remarks about Kobe Bryant and Kobe Bryant's widow, grieving widow, is upset.
That is my topic. What if Billy became our Tom Rinaldi? He did every sob story just so that we couldn't make fun of him for it.
He's genius. By the way, El Chapo's wife's mug shots? Yeah.
Hot. Yeah, pretty good.
Hot. Can you say that? No, you can't.
Dude, you live right next to El Chapo, don't you? Attractive. Oh, yeah.
He is in Brooklyn. Is he still in Brooklyn? No, I think they sent him out to the Alcatraz of the Rockies.
Yeah. Remember that? He's in Denver somewhere.
No, respectfully, I think she's... Listen, it's hard to look good in a mugshot.
She looked good. My cool throne is...
She's also probably ride or die. Yeah, you think? Yeah.
I don't think there's... There's no more ride or die woman out there.
I think that's actually the option. Yeah.
You either ride or you die. True.
She's ride. My cool throne is Stephen Adams.
He recently has moved to New Orleans and has taken up work farming worms. He says it completes the cycle.
He bought five pounds of Nightcrawler worms, and he now estimates to have over 20 pounds of worms, which he uses to recycle his food leftovers. He says that the recent cold snap has been really terrible for production, but he says that he's really enjoying his new home in New Orleans.
Okay, that's great. I would imagine that the Stephen Adams families, Stephen Adams family that lives in New Zealand would be like, Billy would probably worship them as gods because they're all, I think they average somewhere between 6'7 and 6'10 in height.
They're all like 300 pounds and his sister even is one of the bigger ones because she's strong as shit. She's a shot putter in the Olympics and so it's a family of like nine giants that just roam the plains of New Zealand and they do cool stuff with animals.
I feel like that's like your ideal situation. That's pretty awesome.
I want to introduce you to them. That's your heaven.
We actually do need to get Stephen Adams on this show. He's been one of the people that we've wanted on forever.
And he's so down to earth. He's such a chill guy.
He's literally a worm form. You can't be more down to earth.
Right? Yeah. It's a very Very good point.
How many Kate Upton boobs, Billy? Okay, all right, here we go. Let's get to our interviews.
We got Max Homa first, and we have Aaron Foster. Hello Fresh.
You got to check out Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh cuts out what? What about Jake? We sometimes do it, sometimes don't, depending on how long it goes.
depending on the show yeah i'm always ready yeah but no worries the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices stop searching all over google for your next tee time start searching multiple courses in your area from one app it's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times. Plus, the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group.
Earn golf time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews. And then you can redeem those rewards for free Barstool Golf Merch in our store.
Download the Barstool Golf Time time app now start earning those rewards and booking those tee times barstool golf time app now also we're brought to you by our friends at mugsy jeans i'm always wearing mugsy jeans you'll never see me in anything but mugsy jeans and guess what we worked with the team at mugsy to make two special edition pardon my take pairs of jeans we're calling them the clutch jeans and they're pretty awesome uh the clutch jeans come in two washes a light and a dark and have a sweet pardon my take patch uh it's got me pft uh stella hank all it's our logo on the patch it's fucking cool and it's not like in your face and guess what mugsy jeans are just the best anyway i wear them all all the time. They feel like sweatpants.
They are super comfortable, flexible to wear, look good, feel good. That's Mugsy jeans.
The secret sauce is Mugsy's proprietary stretch denim that's super flexible and insanely comfortable. You can bend over in them, lunge around, have a nice Sunday on the couch, do literally whatever you want and always be comfy.
People always shame me because I don't, I wear jeans at home on the couch and they're like, how could you do that? Well, guess what? It's Mugsy jeans. So it's basically like wearing sweatpants.
Mugsy is so confident you'll love their jeans. They do free shipping in return.
So your comfort is a hundred percent guaranteed. Do your legs a favor, head to mugsy.com slash PMT.
That's Mugsy M U G S Y.com slash PMT to check out Mugsy's full lineup of ridiculously comfortable jeans and chinos. Even if you weren't born with the clutch jean, you can grab some clutch jeans and support the official Pardon My Take and Muggsy collab today.
Okay, here he is, Max Homa. All right, we now welcome on our good friend Max Homa, fresh off of the Genesis Open Championship.
Some people are calling it the fifth major. $1.67 million.
Now, we had to restart the Zoom call, but I got to ask again for the people. You give your caddy, what, 10%? Have you thought about maybe bumping it up because he gave you a little extra? Oh, no.
Are you kidding me? Are you still there? I'm here. Oh, fuck.
The computer changed. The computer changed.
Can you take a look? You're still there. I feel like I should be talking like this.
No, no. You actually sound way better this time, but the computer just changed.
All right. We got you.
All right. 1.27 million.
Your caddy did get you out of that tree shot, right? So you're not going to give him a little more than 10 yeah like i'm just not probably um i might buy him a beer but uh yeah i love joe but um unfortunately he agreed to 10 he should he should have agreed to like 10 plus um but i think i think he's fairly happy uh so i think we're we'll be all right yeah it's a decent payday for him and everybody was rooting for you I don't think that, I mean, obviously Tony is a very likable guy and a lot of people are pulling for him too but at least on my Twitter feed I saw just a bunch of people that have gotten to know you from Twitter just very excited to see you excelling like this and you've been playing really good golf the last several weeks so it was it was awesome to see you win who was the coolest person that you saw wish you congratulations was it big cat or aaron rogers oh well it's tough no that's not tough you gotta pick one that's not tough max just say aaron rogers yeah it was definitely aaron rogers fuck that guy he didn it. You know he didn't mean it.
He did not mean it. He just said it because it was cool to say.
He didn't fucking mean it. It totally sounded like he meant it.
I actually didn't congratulate you. I just said, let's go.
Fair. PFT kind of congratulated me by telling me I'm no longer a man.
I took your man card. You were crying on national television.
embarrassing yeah so all right so uh the 18th i want to talk about that real quick my theory is you fucked up that putt because at some point in a tournament you at least have the thought pop in your head like man i've roasted a lot of people on twitter what wonder what they're saying right now is that is there any truth to that yeah that's that's 100 what i was thinking i was like i'm i feel like i'm a philanthropic guy i gotta give some back to the community here's a here's an olive branch of me sucking uh and you guys can all just have fun with it also i think about this yesterday the dodgers took't know, six years to figure out how to put it together with a lot of, I don't know, relatable moments like that. So I was like, oh, maybe I'll throw in one more just absolute blunder and see if I can get myself out of it.
Yeah, I mean, you did overcome that adversity. And after you missed that putt, I was just like, oh, no, there's no way that this is happening because you've got to be able to bounce back like super fast.
How long did you give yourself to be like upset and, uh, and mad at yourself for missing that putt? And how long did it take you to like snap back in and be like, okay, I can do this. I can actually win the tournament.
Yeah, it was weird. I actually got out of it pretty quick.
I kind of laughed. I told my, I told Joe, I choked and he's like, no, you're good.
Like we'll go win it on in the playoff. So it kind of didn't, it didn't sit with me.
I was just more, I was more like embarrassed. Cause like Tiger Woods is up there on the Hill and he's about to give out the trophy and he's like the clutchest human ever.
So I was like, man, you know, that's not a great look in front of, in front of him. But I i don't know i felt so calm yesterday it was it was hard to to it was hard to lose like that edge i had and even one you know one bad putt it didn't feel like it changed everything to me and it was pretty fun to i'd never been in a playoff before so i had to kind of see what that was like you know i just got to test the waters yeah you um you should actually give your caddy more just because him saying like oh no you're good because you did choke that was a choke putt hell yeah i said i tweeted right away i was like oh no max how the hell can you come back on twitter like if you lost that i mean oh yeah you get set it down there is that part of it so does it ever think do you ever think about like is your wander at all playing 72 holes? Like are there times when you're playing and you're just sort of thinking about something else? Or is it laser focus? It's impossible to have laser focus for 72 holes, right? No, dude, I never break my focus.
No, I'm just playing. I space out – I definitely didn't think – I will say – I guess this is good for me because because typically i would i did not think about getting roasted on twitter after i choked on 18 however i do think about that at times when i hit like a really bad shot i'm like oh no i mean i've been i've i've put myself out there like i i unfortunately deserve it yeah so i was uh i never thought about that but yeah had i lost it that would have been a, I think I just have to unsubscribe from Twitter.
I might just have to become like a TikTok influencer or something. No, I think the move is if that ever happens, if you ever find yourself in that situation, I think you come back on Twitter right away and you just start talking about something totally different.
Like who's pumped for this Nets Clippers game tonight? And just ignore it. That's the way to deal with it and just let everyone else, because people will roast you no matter what.
But if you play into it being like, no, I'm here to just tweet every fucking dribble of this game, they'll catch on and then you become a hero again. That's actually a really good angle.
Yeah, just become like the sports better guy on Twitter. Be like, I love the the net plus minus six and a half tonight.

It's a lock of the century,

five-star play.

That's actually,

it's a genius idea to become a sports tout because then every bet that you

miss,

that's what people are talking about.

Like,

wow,

Matt sucks at gambling.

Everyone forgets about the fact that you missed that put on what a loser.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Uh,

did the shot,

the tree shot,

you alluded to it earlier when I saw the ball

next to the tree, I was like, if I was max, I would say that it's impacted that the ball is just sunk into the ground. Maybe call over rules official after you already move it.
Like how, how does that play out? Like when you're talking about the strategy with your caddy, how do you guys decide what to do in that moment? That's a great question. Um, yeah, I didn't think it plugged.

Didn't really try that angle um he uh he didn't really know what i was trying to do he thought i was just trying to hit it like right of the green and then like hopefully make a long putt or chip it in or whatever and i had this weird feeling i was going to be able to hook it so we kind of talked it out but on shots like that i feel like um in that situation it was kind of like uh you just got to trust me a little bit and i don't know how to explain what i'm about to do but it might be cool so just i don't know let's just trust me for once yeah i like that send it so you said that was the first time you were in an overtime uh playoff did you uh talk to tinau after? Like, is it just a quick handshake and that's it? Or do you see him after in the clubhouse or anything? No, I didn't get to talk to him. I mean, I like Tony.
Tony's, like you said, PFT is like a fan favorite and a player favorite. He's the greatest dude.
I know he's not had a lot of luck winning. he's played some amazing golf so um it it i felt his pain a little bit um but i didn't you know there's not a lot to say at that point but um i mean he's a insanely good golfer um i was i was fortunate obviously to come out yesterday on top but i mean it was it's weird it's weird like when you i i like golf like when i when i i watched off at home on at times i keep up with it and like root for somebody like tony all the time then all of a sudden you're in a playoff with the dude and you kind of have to be in the front row seat it's a it's a it's a kind of a weird juxtaposition that is a big word for you and um i don't know it uh i did not suck i'd be lying if i said oh i was really bummed out but uh i mean it was it was a weird feeling well and i asked that just because you know with golf a lot of times the guy a guy will win and the person he's playing with is not even in the you know what i mean like you fall back or whatever so it's not this like hey we're actually shaking hands beat you one-on-one here.
But when you get to the playoff, you do have that moment. It's got to feel a little out of the ordinary because that's not how it usually goes with golf.
You beat the field. It's not, oh, I just beat you one-on-one and now we're shaking hands.
Yeah, it's not like the – who was it, Harbaugh and the coach of the Lions? Jim Schwartz. Like chest bumped.
Yeah. Yeah, That was sick.
Yeah. Golf needs more of that.
Just have people body in each other. Yes.
I like that. Yeah.
I'm all for that. And then you tweeted afterwards.
You said, I spent over a dozen years trying to get Tiger to give me a high five at Riviera. And today he handed me a trophy.
Ha ha. What a world.
Hashtag golf. First of all, great job using the hashtag golf.
You are an expert on Twitter, obviously. And then second of all did you get a high five from tiger or did he did he just give you the trophy uh actually i did not get a high five i got you know the the fist bump um but it was cool man uh yeah the little tech golf that is like the easiest way to get i think attractions in the golf community i got a podcast with my buddy, Shane Bacon, called Get a Grips.
We started this hashtag golf thing. And it's like the dumbest but simplest thing because, I mean, you can find anything.
If you just say like, hey, Christian Yelich hit a home run, like hashtag baseball. The normal people are going to think it's funny.
And then kind of the diehards are going to be like, oh, nice. I could search hashtag baseball and find this tweet about Christian Yelch's home run.
So it was kind of one of those things where it's like I came full circle. I watched that dude play at that golf course like a million times.
And then to be like standing on a green while he's like, hey, congratulations, you won. I was like, yeah, this is not this is not how I saw this going, even as like a kid.
It, a kid. It was super surreal.
Yeah, I would imagine so. So I have to ask, can you win the Masters this year? We're asking a lot of good questions there, Big Cat.
I think I have a better chance than I did last year. But that was a zero chance.
Yeah, so I think, you know, I talk about being 1% better, so maybe we're 1%, 2% now. I think we're climbing.
We're definitely trending. So you can actually win the Masters.
I can win the Masters. It's definitely possible.
I'm going to try super hard. Wait, are you in it? Do you get invited? Yeah.
Because you won this tournament? Yes. Or no? Oh, so what else comes with it? I love how this golf, like, I love the, like the like if you win this tournament then you get invited to this tournament so what did you get outside of the 1.67 million dollars not to brag yeah well yeah i mean the 1.67 is sweet um i got well i won a car okay uh i got into the tournament next we are this week so i gotta i I got to fly out to Florida tomorrow.
No, no, no. Puerto Rico, don't.
It's a Puerto Rican. Don't play it.
You don't want to win that. Max, I'm telling you.
No, it's not Puerto Rico. It's the one that's the main event.
Puerto Rico's the other one. Okay, play it.
Don't win that one. Yeah, I'm not planning on it.
Do you guys actually talk about that? Because we just learned about that last night. And we were also, I was also wrong.
I noticed that when you guys tweeted, I couldn't believe it. Cause it's been like a inside like golf world.
And then Victor Hovland broke it this year. And it's been like a, it's been kind of like a known untalked about thing for a while.
And I saw you guys tweet about it. I was like, oh, no, this is getting a lot of traction.
Yes. All right, so you're not playing Puerto Rico.
So you got a car. You got the next tournament.
What else did you get? I don't know. My wife got me Chick-fil-A today, so that counts as like a bonus.
That's pretty cool. That's great.
Did you get – Pretty good. Did you get like a parking spot at the golf course? Yeah, I just have to carry around my own sign and put it up after I park.
Wait, do you get to do the – do you get to play in the Genesis Open for life? Do you get like that? I got to – I'll text my best friend Tiger now and see if that – yeah, see if I'm allowed now. Okay.
How does that work when you win a free car? Like did you have to sit down and fill out paperwork yesterday in order to drive it home, get it registered? I haven't seen any paperwork. I'm starting to think I'm not getting it.
The car's not real. Yeah.
It seems like, hey, maybe there's his bonus outside of 10%. He gets this fake car that I've been promised.
Yes. All right.
So the So what, so the master's a couple of weeks or no, it's a couple of months away. Um, do you, are you in the U S open now? Yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude. You're like a legit golfer now.
Hell yeah. Is it too soon? I have this dream every year.
I have a new year's resolution to be better at golf than I am at Twitter.

And I really think I'm getting close. Yeah, I would say so.
I would agree with you on that. Is it too soon to start talking about the Ryder Cup? Mm-hmm.
I don't think it's ever too soon, PFT. We might as well get the buzz out there.
They give captain's picks. So I can start my plea for captain's pick.
Give it a shot. to see you know, you got to throw some bait out there and just see if Captain Stricker will kind of saddle himself up with me.
But I don't know. That's one that wasn't really on my radar until like late last year.
And now that would be crazy. There's buzz.
There's, you know, there's a little buzz. I we've got a little traction um so hopefully keep playing some good golf but uh right now um just kind of got to keep doing the same stuff i've been doing because it's been it's been working pretty well i think it's fair to say you are playing the best golf of anybody on tour right now right you just won yeah yes technically speaking i am what about that i'm playing the best golf what have you done for me lately, league? Yeah.
Yeah, I forgot to practice today. So I guess maybe somebody practiced today.
Now they're ahead of me. I don't know how the, yeah, what have you done for me lately, crew, would think right now.
But I get to play this week so I can stay on pace. And hopefully, I mean, I'm sure if I shoot only one under on Thursday, I'll get yelled at for sucking, but that's kind of what comes with the territory.
Yeah, what about the approach shot that you hit on 18? Because I don't think that people are talking enough about that because you stuck that within two and a half feet. You won the tournament.
You didn't know you were going to choke it away. But that shot was the clutchest shot that no one's going to talk about from now on.
Like you kind of got a little bitpped on that that should have been your signature moment yeah i i'm pretty sure i i screw that up myself um i'm kind of glad they're not talking about this shot as much because then they'd have to talk about what happened right after that shot so back to the you know taking attention away from the choking part um i yeah i don't really mind that they're avoiding the 18th whole fiasco yeah Wait, are you in the Open Championship now? I'm looking at it. Yeah.
You are. You're in all this shit.
How does that work? What did you trigger? Is the Genesis Open carry that much weight? No, no. It's world ranking stuff.
Got it. So you're 38th ranked right now, and that bumped you up to a point where now you're in all these tournaments? Basically, I think you've got to be top 60, and there's not enough time for me to get out.
I don't know. Something like that.
Okay, so you're in. So you can't possibly screw it up.
I was going to just recommend you stop playing. Yeah.
If you miss every cut, you're still in. That's what you're saying.
Hopefully. I'll do the math, and if that's possible, I might just sit at home for a few weeks.
Yeah, that's what I'll do. Probably why we're not elite athletes, but that's me and Big Cash mentality.
We're just trying not to drop in the rankings. Nobody move.
We got to this point. I'm with you.
I'm with that. I like that.
All right, Max. My last question was, since we've had you on last, the Dodgers had a big free agent signing with Trevor Bauerauer are you a little nervous though that you now are the second biggest dick on twitter in the dodger community yeah maybe that's a good thought yeah we got uh i saw i got in a fight the other day with noah syndergaard yeah but i like that fire trevor went to the height my rival high school so i was like grow up like hating how good he was at baseball so it's nice to be on on his team now it feels it feels good but uh i guess the dodgers got a you know a little better uh feels kind of this one feels kind of dirty but i'll take it yeah no i mean we've had trevor on a couple times people don't like him i think he's funny and fascinating he seems awesome yeah i mean he's different he's just like literally an internet troll that's great at pitching right so that that irritates a lot of people but i think he's like he's genuine about it he's like yeah i think he even told us like i just do it for the lols yeah and hearing somebody say that in real life you're like dude you are you are a sentient reddit account right right you're just the biggest troll of the world.
You're online. But he said that out loud? Yes, he said that to us.
He said those words. So you can't hate on him.
It's like he is a guy who was built to be an internet troll as a living. He just so happens to be able to throw a baseball really well.
I need to put that into my everyday jargon. No, don't.
No, do not. It do not you don't it didn't sound cool at that point yeah you just become like part electronics yeah do not do that yeah okay that's fair that you know what you're you're right now you're you're like still a little drunk off the victory that you're like i could do this i could start saying lols and people would be cool with it don't we'll we'll be your sober test here yeah no i think yeah when you're when you're when you got hand, you just think you can kind of do anything.
Yeah, keep it in check a little bit. This is why I got friends like you guys that tell me what I can and cannot do.
Yeah, I think you'll find your way. You've got a good head on your shoulders.
I do have two more questions, though. Like, things that I'm always interested in about golf tournaments, when you win them, I'm always curious about the big checks.
Did you get a big check? So, I didn't i got one uh from the uh when i was on the web.com tour and it was awesome i was like oh this is so cool and like i i did not get one i was bummed that is a bummer i would demand but we can send you a big check i would rather have the 1.67 like that is a big check yeah yeah right So wait, is that direct deposit or how does that work? Yeah. Tomorrow I think at like 8am or something.
That's crazy. And then I can't wait.
Yeah. That's just a refresh of your bank account.
Like, Oh, there it is. Do you have, do you have notifications set up when stuff hits your account? You got to set that up because that's going to be a big one.
I got what it's incoming. I got a little notification.
It's a little ding. And you're like, oh, OK.
Tomorrow is going to be like, OK. That'll be a great day for you.
And then the other thing is they kept calling it your home course. How many home courses do you get as a golfer? Because I feel like I've heard of Tiger Woods having like three different home courses.
Yeah, you get a lot. I would say that Riviera is definitely not my home course.
I wasn't even allowed to play there until my team played national championship in college when I was like 21. So definitely not my home course just from there.
But I think in golf, they definitely throw that around. I'm pretty sure I live in Arizona now.
I'm pretty sure they'd say I have three home courses here. I probably got four in L.A.
and probably one random one somewhere else where like maybe I played when I was like a

kid or maybe my uncle played one time so golf they definitely we got a lot of bad we got a lot

of bad little sayings and there's a lot of bad stuff going around about you know hey he's so

big he could be a football player in the NFL or um you know it's his home course and you're like

well he you know he's been here three times in his life so we gotta golf is kind of corny but

Thank you. or it's his home course, and you're like, well, he's been here three times in his life.
Golf is kind of corny, but I don't know. They're doing their best, I think.
I love that stuff. That's the interesting part of it.
Does anyone have the Masters? Augusta is their home course? Freddie Couples? Probably Freddie Couples. I think for a while it was Vaughn Taylor, Charles Howell, I think they said it was his home course.
I'm not sure if that's true, but that's pretty sick. Yeah.
I think it was Jack's home course, right? Yeah, you could just say that. Patrick Reed.
It's Condoleezza Rice's home course. Patrick Reed.
It is Condoleezza Rice's home course. I'm going to start.
I'll start saying it. It's my home course.
I got a better chance than I win it if it's my home course, you know? Yeah, I still don't think you have a good chance, but. I have a chance, though, and you just got to remember that one.
But do you?

But do you?

He does.

Yeah, I definitely have a chance.

I'm going to bet on you, and you better not let me down.

I did bet on you, and you let me down.

Well, all right, just make sure you chirp at me if I do let you down. But if I win.

Wait, no, no, no, hold on, Max.

I didn't even bet on you to win. I bet on you to fucking make the cut oh i got i i i apologize i i set the bar low and you still went under it yeah you know that was that was a limbo of a lifetime to miss the cut after after all that but hey um i don't know i can only go up from here so that's kind of good all right i'm i'm a believer i'm just i you know what you need someone in your camp to be like hey you have no chance so that way you can't have everyone yes man yeah right yeah you got to have people hold you accountable give you bulletin board material i mean that's important stuff yeah so there you go zero percent chance and i will be betting on you um All right, well, Max, thanks, man.
We really appreciate it, and good luck in Florida. Not Puerto Rico, right? Don't do it.
Not Puerto Rico. Hell no.
All right, good luck next weekend in Florida, and we'll talk to you before the Masters. Yeah, congratulations.
All right, sounds good. Thank you.
You guys are the best. Appreciate you.
All right, see you, man. That interview with Max is brought to you by our great friends over at SimpliSafe.
If you've got 30 free minutes, you never have to worry about a break-in at home ever again. That is how quick and easy it is to set up a security system from SimpliSafe.
It's the kind of thing that's so easy to do. You can do it during a Netflix binge.
You can do it watching the game or listening to a certain podcast. SimpliSafe is incredibly easy to customize for your home.
You just go to simplisafe.com slash PMT. You can choose the exact sensors that you need, or you can get help from one of their experts.
It'll get to your house in about a week, which means by this time next week, you and your whole family can go to bed knowing that your home is being guarded. It's easy to assume that everyone in your house already feels safe, but they might not.
And it's worthwhile to talk about it. And SimpliSafe is a small, easy step to make sure that everyone feels safe at home.
So you can go to simplisafe.com slash PMT today, customize your system, get a free security camera. You can also start a 60 day risk-free trial.
So there's nothing to lose. That's simplisafe.com slash PMT.
That's simplisafe.com slash PMT. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Arian Foster. You can subscribe to Macrodosing with PFT now.
It is out on where you can get podcasts. It comes out every.
Talking conspiracy theories. All kinds of cool stuff.
We're going to do a Mount Rushmore of sports conspiracy theories. Before we do that, Aaron, can I ask you real quick? Do you still know anyone in the Texans organization? And holy shit, is that a disaster? I do know people still there.
and I do agree that it's a disaster, man. Yeah, the Jack Easterby guy, he's quickly become one of my favorite people in all sports just because he's very clearly Rasputin, right? I don't think he has any discernible talent.
I watch his stand-up, actually. He is very funny doing stand-up, being like, hey, have that people from california are like this and then people from texas are like this it's pretty high level shit um i love that guy does stand-up oh yeah you haven't seen it i have not seen this oh my god i got it can we put a clip of the stand-up in here hank sure you're gonna have to have to send me your favorite line.
I'm just here for the game, bro. Like, chill out, man.
It ain't that serious, right? And then where I'm at, like, in Boston, right, everybody says this phrase in their shoes. It's like, yo, we got to go park the car.
Like, we got to do what? What are you talking about? We got to go park the car. It's amazing.
So, yeah, he's like a stand-up comedian, but he's just like a guy that got the ear of the entire organization and they just kind of turned it all over to him. Do you know anybody that works with Jack Easterby? No, the first time I heard of him was actually when Andre Johnson sent that tweet out.
And I got like thousands of like, yo, look at this. Because Dre don't really talk that much.
And so everybody's like, Jack Easterby has to go. And I was like, who the fuck is Jack Easterby? And I had no idea who he was.
I had never met him, never heard of him. And I guess he's like, I don't even know what his job title is, but I guess he's like running shit.
I have no idea. That's the weirdest shit I've ever seen.
Yeah, like Team Chapel to basically calling all the shots. I mean, I guess if you're going to do it, that's the guy to do it.
I have no idea. He's crazy.
He's an extremely talented cod man from what it sounds like.

So I respect that.

All right.

So in the spirit of macro dosing, we're going to do our favorite sports conspiracy theories.

We all have one.

Then we'll pick the top four.

So how do we want to start?

Who do we want to start?

You want to start PFT?

Let's go PFT, Aaron, Hank, Jake, Billy, and then I'll finish, and then we'll pick our top four from there. Okay, my conspiracy is the Curt Schilling sock because there's actually some smoke to that.
There's some evidence that the blood on the sock was not actually blood. It was, what, game six of the 2004 ALCS, and he was pitching with like with an obvious injury i think that part was real i think that he had like a heel achilles type injury um that he had just gotten sutures on but then his foot started to leak it just like it took over his entire sock he was bleeding so badly he would have had to have like a six inch gash on the back of his heel and pitched through the game.
What do you mean? So, yeah, this one, I feel like this is a – do you think that this – you actually think that it was a catch-up? I think that it was fake, yeah. I think that it was fake.
So then 2007, the play-by-play announcer for the Orioles was – or the color guy for the Orioles was Doug Mirabelli. And Doug Mirabelli said that it was paint.
That it was red paint that he put on his sock. He said that during a broadcast and then Schilling was like, you know, he got really pissed off about it.
It was like, it wasn't paint. It was real blood.
But they still haven't tested the sock. They need to, you know what? They have the sock.
The Hall of Fame has a sock. They should say if we test the sock and it it's all blood, then Curt Schilling can get in the Hall of Fame.
Yeah. I'd be willing to do that.
Yeah. Yeah, I think that there was probably like a little bit of blood on there.
So there's probably like a kernel of truth to that conspiracy. But I do think that it's a shitload of paint that got put back there to make Curt Schilling look like he was pitching his absolute

balls off.

Walk me through.

So you're Curt Schilling going into the biggest game of your entire life against the Yankees

in Yankee Stadium trying to make the greatest comeback.

And no one believes in you.

You're focused on the game, but you decide to think, let me take time in between innings

to get some blood and put it on my sock, which is injured like he was limping around he was clearly hurt yeah what part of why would he do that makes you think that he would be thinking about this from a rational point of view that is that is a good point kurt schilling definitely got crazier yes so that you you can't be like fully. It's not today's Kurt Schilling.

But he was always a little bit crazy. So when Kurt Schilling got to Boston, I would say more independent thinker.

One of the yeah, he's he's a free thinker. Nothing's out of bounds.

When he got to Boston, people forget one of the very first things they did in Boston was he saw a drunk driver on the freeway and followed that person home on the phone with 911 being like, yo, there's a drunk person on the road and I'm going to give you the location. I'm not going to leave until a cop comes up here.
So that's, you, you can make that argument that like, maybe if the person was going to be a danger to themselves or others, that it was a good thing that he did. I could hear that argument, but then he went, he did a press tour afterwards and, and went on like every radio station in Boston was like hey i just i just knocked on this drunk driver last night do you want to interview me about it so like he's always been a little bit off his rocker when it comes to that sort of shit okay okay yeah i mean let's throw it in there yeah that's that's that's uh the first one and we're gonna vote on the top four after this so bloody sock game what do you think about that one aaron do do they have the sock still is that like really a thing is the sock like somewhere yeah i think it's in the hall of fame it's in cooperstown yeah the sock they got to test the sock yeah they have to test the sock that would be i mean it would be great theater to to to do like a big live stream of the the sock being tested so i'm telling you, like Curt Schilling end, if that sock is real and his leg was leaking that badly during one of the most important playoff games in baseball history and he pitched that well, I say that should make the case for him to be in the Hall of Fame on his own.
Yes, I'd agree with that. All right, so go ahead.
What was his injury? What was his injury that they said that caused him to bleed like that?

Like his Achilles or his ankle?

Yeah, it was his Achilles ankle.

He had just had like some sutures put in.

So, he had a real injury, but they said that it was the sutures that started to leak.

I've never seen, I've seen some pretty gruesome foot injuries in my day.

I actually survived one of my own.

I've never seen a foot bleed like that from just stitches coming out.

Loose angle tendon back into the skin emergency procedure doesn't sound great so he had so he he had an achilles like a temp guess i'm guessing a tear or a partial tear but the team doctors also didn't like it was it was done at the last minute so like they kind of you know hacked it together well who yeah why it was it doesn't seem like a team doctor thing to do like he went into the dugout and like uh pedro martinez rubbed some of the uh some of that juice that they all sipped on over to try to give you more vitality you remember that juice i love i love the conspiracy about that juice which juice but so before game seven when they passed around that cup they said it was whiskey it was actually like a dominican drink that that is supposed to give you like more vitality and increase your testosterone. It's got like herbs and weird shit in there that's supposed to basically give you boners when you go out onto the field.
So I don't know. Maybe they rub that on it to help it out.
But I do think that that conspiracy theory is true. I think that there was paint at least mixed into the sock.
Okay. So, Arian, what's your sports conspiracy theory? We got one down.
Right. All right.
So it's kind of like a conglomeration of conspiracies, but it's the same thing. So Michael Jordan's gambling thing, right? Because a lot of things have manifested from it so um so like the reason why he retired originally uh in 93 yeah was because he got suspended for gambling right and then a little bit more like deep was that his father actually died because he was a gambling debt yeah and so it's like just the whole lore around Michael Jordan's gambling is intriguing.
And that that caused him to retire from the league and play baseball. Yeah, that David Stern sat him down and was like, hey, you have to take a step back because your gambling's out of control.
I heard he got – well, I ain't heard, but I heard how this conspiracy goes is that they actually suspended him, but they just kept it under wraps because it would have been bad for the league. So the only thing that doesn't, like, I wouldn't understand about that is that would eventually get out, right? Like, someone would talk about that.
Like, that would be. Sure.
Yeah, you would. I should i should have yeah go ahead sorry i should i was saying i was saying i should i should have prefaced it with i don't believe this shit but there's just so much lore around it's it's intriguing it's it's one of those situations where michael jordan clearly loves to gamble his father was killed murdered and it was you know under weird you know circumstances and then he i it feels like it's a it's one of those conspiracy theories that there's enough like elements that are truthful that i don't think he was actually suspended or told to to quit basketball because of his gambling but there's enough around it that is true that lets you be like, okay, maybe this was actually true.

Which is actually the perfect conspiracy theory has.

I think the only way that it could have worked is if it was like David Stern and one of his top assistants found out from somebody who was close to whoever Michael Jordan owed the money to.

Found out like the ridiculous sum that it might have been.

And then he had a one-on-one meeting with Jordan, told Jordan, and he's like just say that you're retiring don't tell anyone else and then jordan just acted like he was retiring and came back after he paid his debts off right that that possibly could have worked out but yeah it's it was a bizarre set of circumstances for sure and he clearly i mean he admitted himself he had a uh he had he had a competition problem he didn't have a gambling. He had a competition problem.
He didn't have a gambling problem. He had a competition problem.
Totally different. Yes.
A euphemism. I love it.
Yes. All right, Hank, your conspiracy theory.
My conspiracy theory, just because I think this would be a great movie, especially if you involve the actual person, but Cal Ripken, in the middle of his streak,

got in a fight with Kevin Costner,

wasn't going to be able to play because Kevin Costner was hooking up with his wife,

and the Orioles said there was a power outage

and canceled the game to keep the streak alive.

Yep, that's a great one.

All-time conspiracy theory.

And imagine if they got Kevin Costner to be in the movie.

Yeah.

Wait, would he play Cal Ripken?

Because he loves playing athletes. True.
That would be great. If he played Cal Ripken, what if, okay.
So that, that one, we had Cal Ripken on the show a while ago and we were told like, don't ask the question about Kevin Costner and his wife going into the interview. And we didn't know the conspiracy or maybe we had heard of it, but we definitely weren't going to ask him like, Hey, catch kevin costner fucking your wife during our interview um but they told us not to and he actually brought it up during the interview because we were talking about like weird theories about his streak and then he just volunteered all these reasons why it couldn't have been true like given the the time frame like where kevin costner was at the time and like the the time of the.
And there's reports like he was in the dugout when the power outage happened. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. He claims that there are people, although I'm sure that there are beat writers for the Orioles that would have had Cal Ripken's back.
Exactly. The question is, Aaron, do you think there's...
And obviously the Orioles were involved. Yeah.
They orchestrated the power outage. Is there any person you ever played with that had the power to be like, I'm going to call the team and be like, we have to – I guess football is a lot different than baseball.
But would you buy this at all in terms of how an organization is set up and a player having that type of power? No, because I think in order for that, maybe like a LeBron, right? And he would have to like go to the head, like somebody like that. But definitely nobody in football.
Football players are viewed differently than basketball players and even baseball players. But I think you just have to have like an extremely, like everybody would have to be involved because there's television networks.
There's just contracts. There's so much money involved.
Like I don't think cats, especially with a helmet on, have that much pool. Not even Matt Schaub? Maybe Matt Schaub.
Maybe, yeah. Maybe Matt Schaub.
I like that one though. Shout out to my guy, Matt.
He just retired, man. No, not Not necessarily He said on part of my take He's not officially retiring yet If he gets offered a contract He might come back He got a text from me for no reason You might have to take that back Hit the thumbs down on that text I'm going to screenshot and post it I'm to screenshot it and post it.
I'm like, bro, this is a lie, bro. What is this? All right, Jake, you're.
No, no. I had.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
We got some fighting. The boys are fighting.
I fight. Yeah.
He took one of mine. He took one of mine.
All right, so go ahead, Jake. Jake, you go first.
Jake, go ahead. I'm taking the blackout Super Bowl between the hard balls.
Oh. Billy, that's how it works.
You have to be prepared with more than one. How do you not learn this from now? There we go, Jake.
So what was the conspiracy theory behind that? Oh, that it was a blowout and the NFL wanted to give some more time to get the 49ers back in the game. That's right.
It ended up kind of working. Yeah, it did.
So was that the Beyonce halftime? I don't know. All right, so wait.
Now, Aaron, let me ask this. Does the NFL have that type of power where Roger Goodell could hit a switch and black out the Super Bowl just so that they could keep people watching and get the 49ers back in the game? They could.
I do think they could, but I don't know why they would. Why would you do that? When I think about conspiracy, I always think about the why.
Right. And, and when you start doing the they, the them, the, then that's when it gets.
But I do think the NFL could. I mean, they literally covered up.
Deflake gate. I don't know about that.
They literally covered up concussion studies. Yeah.
And kind of tried to hide that. Like, so it's not, not, it's feasible that they would cover some shit up but i don't know about getting the 49ers back in the game yeah so how would that work though like if you were roger gdell and you had let's just say there was a big light switch in front of you at halftime and you saw that the ravens were winning by double digits like would it occur to you to flip that switch knowing that it's more likely if there's a longer halftime that the Niners are going to come out and play better in the second half? That doesn't make that much sense to me.
Yeah. So the evidence to support that it was staged was that all of the dress rehearsals by Beyonce, it took that exact same amount of power.
The lighting was tested time and time again. So for them to say like, oh, we didn't know it was going to draw this much power and cause an issue is like, that's the number one thing they test.
Right. Surge protectors.
Yeah. Right.
So that was like one of the reasons why it's kind of like, you know, if it's 28.6 and viewership is actually seriously tampering off let's black this thing out and then everyone will be like what's going on yeah it was 28-6 with 13 minutes left in the third quarter I wonder how many times that's happened in the Superdome too how many times have there been the lights have gone out in the Superdome because it does the lights going out in a stadium is not crazy that's how you know we've all watched a happened. Remember what happened in the Monday Night Football game? I think it was the 49ers and the Steelers, maybe? I feel like it happens a lot in baseball because there are so many games that at least once or twice a season, it's about as frequent as B delays.
Right, right. All right, Billy.
My conspiracy theory is going to be the Russian doping conspiracy that actually has a lot more truth.

So the Sochi Olympics, the Russians were swapping out their piss and doing all sorts of stuff to cover up their athletes doping.

And this is the conspiracy part to gain nationalistic pride in order to invade Crimea, which there's a lot of evidence for.

The athletes were going to invade?

No, but that would have been a sick plan. Putin was putting it together.
Yeah, is this a conspiracy theory, though? Because is it real? Well, there's a lot of facts. Some conspiracies are true, though.
Yeah. Okay.
Got to throw a lot of darts. So somebody had a great idea, because we experiment with playing some music in the background of our podcast when we're talking.
We think we're just going to play the serious music when Billy starts talking. Because serious Billy came out on the podcast and he's got like all these theories and he's dropping big words and shit on us he actually he gave Aaron a little bit of perspective didn't he about what it's like to grow up as Billy football when you get pulled over by the cops for uh for driving too fast because you're listening to Led Zeppelin that was crazy.
That was... I envy that, my brother.
But next time I get pulled over, I'm going to ask the officer, do you have any podcasts to recommend that I don't make this mistake again? Billy said he got pulled over because he was listening to Led Zeppelin driving too fast and the officer pulled him over and was like, wow, you're listening to Led Zeppelin? Yeah, that makes me drive fast too. Tell you what, I recommend that instead of writing you a ticket, I'm just going to recommend that you start listening to podcasts instead while you drive.
And Billy was like, thank you, officer. And he led him on his way.
That didn't happen. It did? That did happen.
100%. Yes.
100% true. I got off.
Okay. You didn't answer my question, though.
The whole story. What? Is true.
Yeah, it's a good story. Okay.
How the hell would I get into a podcast? It is a good story. It is a great story.
How else would I get onto a podcast? I got pulled over. I was like, I don't want to get a speeding ticket anymore, so no more loud, fast music.
That's how he started listening to part of my take. Now I'm fucking here on this couch.
All right, mine is going to be the Ronaldo at the World Cup in France in 1998. So this is like a two-parter because Ronaldo was best player in the world, having a great tournament, had a seizure out of nowhere right before the final.
And so some people think he was drugged some people think that uh he was there's there's there's like so many layers to this conspiracy theory some people thought he was drugged so that then uh brazil wouldn't win but then they got gifted the 2006 world cup in like payment for it and then then on top of all that, he played in the game, played awful. France wins.
There's a conspiracy theory that Nike, because they had invested so much in Brazil, the Brazilian team and Ronaldo as Nike athletes, that Nike forced him to play even though he was like less than 24 hours after a seizure. And Nike basically stepped in and was like,

he has to play no matter what, put him in the game,

and he was awful and they ended up losing.

I could see Nike having that much power.

I honestly think that Nike has more power than the NFL.

It's also like a soccer conspiracy theories.

There's so much shady shit that happens in the world of soccer.

Yeah.

It really just lends itself to these things.

Anything that's FIFA adjacent is definitely prime for some corruption. Right, right.
So that would be mine. All right.
What were you going to say? Honorable mentions? Honorable mentions. Go ahead.
The flu game Jordan was hungover? Okay. Yeah.
That's right. That when he explained somebody came in with a pizza, and then the pizza guy wasn't actually the pizza guy.
That, to me, that didn't... It wasn't him who explained it.
That was his trainer. His security guy.
His trainer, yeah. I don't really buy that still.
Okay. I think he might have...
I think Jordan might have had some brown liquor and smoked too many cigars. The only reason that that...
Wouldn't that even be more impressive? The hungover? Oh, yes. Yeah, for sure.
Obviously, the Ewing frozen envelope envelope which i love that one i i believe that one 100 believe that nba definitely has there's a lot like where there's smoke there's fire there's so many right the tim like 2002 tim donogu didn't ref that but 2002 the lakers versus the the kings and basically getting the lakers into the finals fixing lebron's first championship oh no. Oh, that's one? I didn't know that was one.
What was that one? Eastern Conference Finals against Celtics. They gave them a bunch of calls, made sure they won.
Okay. After they lost to the Mavericks, they got upset, and they're like, we can't let this happen again.
What about the LeBron-Delante West situation? That's just, I don't know. Is that a conspiracy? I don't know if that's technically a conspiracy.
I think that happened. Yeah, that might have just happened.
Yeah. And also it was like kind of sad.
And also hope Delante's doing well. Yeah.
Yeah. The Ali-Sunny Liston fight, the Phantom Knockout, we know a little something about those on this show.
Mm-hmm. Right? Billy? No comment.
Can Seiko get it? I did what I did. I'm not hip.
Billy got a phantom knockout? What happened? Yeah, he knocked out Jose Canseco. Knocked him out.
Clean out. I hit him with two inside hooks and he went down and quit.
They had a boxing match like two weeks ago and Jose was getting paid a shitload of money to do it because we sold some pay-per-views for it. And soy went in there and to billy's credit he fought him like straight up hit him a few times jose quit after about 13 seconds fell down on the ground and just he faked an injury he was like oh my my pec hurts my knee hurts my shoulder hurts i can't fight anymore so he gave up after seriously about 13 seconds in the ring with billy bro billy got hands hold on i do have hands i do have.
I have pretty heavy hands. I'm working on technique and quickness, but I got heavy hands.
Is there footage of this? Yeah, we can pull it up. Yeah, I'll send it to you.
Please send me this. Holy shit.
I see you, Billy. Yeah, it's pretty great.
He fucked him up. Hank, do you have any Roger Goodell-related conspiracies you want to throw out there? The Flakegate.
Yeah mean, that's one of those, like, it's not really conspiracy. I'm surprised you didn't do that one, Hank.
I was trying. I know.
I tried to. I figured everyone assumed I would.
Yeah. So Arian Hank actually went to jail for Tom Brady because when he was suspended, he did a little bit of civil disobedience in the NFL lobby and basically handcuffed himself down there until he got actually arrested and put in jail.
But Hank, can you explain how the NFL fucked up the Deflategate investigation? Because I don't know. I honestly don't know what you believe about that.
Let me go back in the memories of time. Go for it.
Let's go, Hank. They came out with the Wells report.
That and then there was a lot of holes in that in the Wells report. and they conducted this big internal investigation that took months and months and months and all this money didn't really prove anything conclusive but they still docked the Patriots whatever it was like draft picks fines uh suspended Tom Brady there was a whole witch hunt and like there was no real conclusive conclusive evidence other than just the ball boy and this Wells report which was an NFL paid lawyer who obviously was in Roger Goodell's pocket pushing this narrative.
Got it. Okay, so besides the evidence that they collected, it was all bogus.
But the it was cold. There's a lot of variables to the balls and it didn't make that much of a difference.
That's the other thing. It was a 42-6 game.

Honestly, I think that's probably the best defense that you could ever make.

It was one half.

It's like, yeah, the ball was a little underinflated.

Who gives a fuck?

We beat this shit out of the Colts.

But they didn't want to be wrong, so they were like,

all right, we're just going to drag this out and then just fuck you.

Also, it was more of like...

Go ahead.

They just decided to enforce it, like doing that out of nowhere. nowhere Aaron Rodgers used to play with a super pumped up ball And like you know Quarterbacks I mean Aaron probably knows like in the NFL They you know want their balls a certain way Because they gotta throw it So like Aaron did you think that was cheating Or did you think it was kind of bogus Like Billy Billy says, every quarterback wants their balls a certain way.
Yeah, no. I remember when it first came out and people were asking me about it.
I was like, yo, that don't have nothing to do with catch not tackling. It don't have nothing to do with getting blown out like that.
It don't matter. Like the ball is the ball, right? It's like it's an objective object in the game.

Like it just doesn't have that much bearing on win or loss. It's not like, I don't know, it's not like gloves and boxing.
It's not the same thing. So it's like because they still have to throw.
They still have to catch. There's no like it is what it is.
Right. That shit was stupid.
What do you say, Billy? I would connect the dots. if we had a Jordan type situation Where the NFL needed to punish Tom Brady For something That we don't know about Maybe relating to Alex Guerrero And unidentified chemicals Found in his testing It was the NFL vs the Patriots They would have been very, yo, we caught Tom Brady cheating.
There was more of a chance to prove about the balls than anything. So it was like getting Al Capone on tax evasion.
Exactly. Instead of the murder.
Okay. Yeah.
I think your thought is correct, but it's more it was Goodell and the NFL versus the Patriots versus Tom Brady and Guerrero. Tom Brady was a victim of all this.
Yeah.

Okay, Aaron, I just sent you the video of Billy knocking out Jose Canseco.

Yo, let's get your instant reaction.

Okay, I'm going to check it out.

All right, it's over.

And that was it.

Oh, this is going to be great.

All right, so I think what we should do while Aaron pulls it up,

I think we should, since we have six, let's leave it up to people to vote tomorrow.

We'll do three and three, and then the bottom vote getter on each three and three is eliminated. Got it.
Yeah. That'll be good.
Get a discussion going with the people. Yep.
All right. So Aaron's going to pull it up.
We're going to get his reaction to Billy football knocking out Jose Canseco. Okay.
Hold on, okay. Listen.
Neither one of y'all got hands. You just just he just has less hands than you why is he like this what has happened i mean i guess this is my wow how did he not even try to oh my god no all right your form is terrible his form is just exponentially going to the gym today but what i appreciate about you is how hype you was i mean you did knock out jose cansego that's holy can say like that's a legend and you know you stood over him dog you stood over stood over him yeah and screamed at him while he was on the ground what did you say i? I kind of realized he was quitting, so I was like, get up, earn your money, get your fucking money.
And, yeah, I was in a totally different headspace at that moment. Aaron, do you have any questions for Billy about what type of headspace and mentality he was in when he was getting ready for that fight? I mean, you had to, like, dog, like, there has to be one of those things where you're, like, unsure if you should go through with it.
100%. It was a one-way mission.
Did you actually train for it? You actually trained for it? I trained for it a lot. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I trained so long. Yeah.
He crushed training. Yeah.
I was kind of disappointed it lasted so little because I thought I was going to have to, like, you know, use the conditioning. thought you were going to war.
Yeah. But it was fun.

He definitely did not train for it.

He didn't train that hard.

He was saying, yeah, I go to the gym like two to three times a week.

I was like, I go six days a week.

Yeah.

He maybe jogged.

He maybe like eight.

I don't even know if jogged. Yeah.

I think maybe like the night before the weigh-in, he was like, oh, shit,

I got a big weigh-in tomorrow.

I'm going to go sit in a sauna for a few hours. I mean, he showed up at 270 pounds.
Like, no one fights at 270 pounds. Like, Brock Lesnar didn't even fight at 270 pounds.
Yes. He just asked you how much you weighed, Billy.
Oh, at the time of the fight, I was 208 pounds. 208? So Jose was a lot bigger than bigger than you.
He had a 70-pound difference. That's crazy.
Like, right now, I'm 225. I dropped down for the fight.
But what was it like fighting a guy who's, like, that much bigger, that much taller than you? Well, I knew he was going to have zero speed, zero conditioning. So get in his face, throw 100 punches.
Uh-huh. 140.
He said, I dropped down for the fight. He's a weapon.
I wasn't going to out-muscle Jose Canseco. An absolute weapon.
All right, well, Arian, thank you. Everyone go subscribe again.
Macro dosing. First episode's out about Alex Jones.
What's episode two going to be about? So we're still talking. We've got some options that we're going to run through.
I think Arian's going to lead the way on episode two. But we've got – it's going to be good.
We don't have the exact title yet. We don't have the exact topic, but we're going to talk about that during the week.
But yeah, come, go listen to it. Macro dosing, check it out on YouTube, Spotify, iTunes, everywhere.
Also shout out three, four, two productions. Who's it's like a co-venture between Barstool and three, four, two productions guy Tommy so um yeah go subscribe leave a review Billy will say anything that you leave in a five five star review he'll read it out loud on the podcast that's a promise there it is all right thanks Arian I appreciate y'all man always fun Arian Foster was brought to you by our friends over at Roman Swipes.

Most guys have tried different ways to last longer,

but thinking about baseball doesn't always work.

The folks at Roman, they're an online men's health company,

are changing the game with Roman Swipes.

It is the secret to longer-lasting sex.

Can we say the secret they don't want you to know?

I always love it when advertisers say that.

They don't want you to know about this.

They want you to prematurely ejaculate. Well, guess what? With Roman swipes, you can prove them wrong.
Roman swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed. They're effective.
They're easy to use. They're fast acting, but they don't require a prescription.
Roman can ship swipes to you in discreet, unmarked packaging. And each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it.
They're super easy to use. You just take the swipes out of the packet, you swipe it on, let it dry, and you're good to go.
That's it. So go to getroman.com slash take.
You can get your first month of swipes for just $5 when you choose a monthly plan. That's getroman.com slash take.
Okay, let's wrap up. We got a couple things here.
We got guys being dudes. So this is a study out of where? Out of UVA.
Okay. And what was the study? So the study out of UVA was they took a sample group of guys and girls, and they put them in a room, and they were told that they were going in there to think, right? So you can go in this room to think.
There were also switches that were put in the rooms. The switches controlled a mild electronic shock that they could administer to themselves.
It was called a painful shock, right? So they told you, you're going to sit in this room by yourself, sit here quietly for 15 minutes. You can use the switch if you want to.
They were put in there. About 70% of the dudes hit the switch to feel the shock.
And about 25% of the girls hit the switch to feel the shock. So the guys actually, a lot of people are like, yo, this makes guys look really dumb.
No, no, no, no, no. This is smart, what the guys are doing.
Yeah, curiosity. You want to know your environment that you're in there with.
This study cracks me up because they didn't need to do it. It's essentially saying guys are stupid and will live shorter lives because they make dumb decisions that harm themselves.
Yes. So why do we need to study? Duh.
You don't need to study. And it is a no duh.

Isn't it a fact? I would rather shock myself than if you put me in a room where I had to sit up straight without any electronic. Tell you what, if you just put me in a room with a phone that wasn't connected to the internet, probably within 15 minutes, I'm going to shock myself too.
I can only play so much Candy Crush. There's also an element of when you have something significant happen during the day, you remember that day.
It's a memory. You're making a memory by shocking yourself.
That's true. Otherwise, you just sat in a room, didn't shock yourself, went on with your day.
You live an unfulfilled, boring-ass life. Can you imagine leaving that room and then going back to your friend's house and they're like, what did you do today? And telling them I sat in a room for 15 minutes with a button that could have shocked me and I didn't press it? That's so lame.
That is the worst. I would kick you out of my home.
Yes, we should actually do some kind of experiment like this as well here. I want to know how many times they shocked themselves.
Oh, you think they just kept on going to the well? I bet there's like a 5% who just like shocked themselves.

Cauliflower ear, guys.

Yeah, you start pounding off while shocking yourself repeatedly. Just the search for stimulation.
The ultimate nut. Yeah.
Human body craves contact. That's true.
All right. The other thing we had was a quick dramatic reading of this Seth Wickersham article that just came out about the players union,

Demore Smith,

all the like,

uh, things behind the goal behind. reading of this Seth Wickersham article that just came out about the Players Union, DeMaur

Smith, all the

things that go behind

closed doors in the NFL,

and Jerry Jones

obviously stole the show.

As always, right? He always

will steal the show. He absolutely brought the thunder,

but it's also like Dominique Foxworth

is in there, Jerry Richardson,

and DeMaurie Smith

are in this dramatic reading, so we've got to figure out...

Let's actually, you know what? Let's have Jake read it. Okay, yeah.
I mean, they bleeped him out, so I'll just read it. Okay, yeah.
But no, you have to read it. Read it how it goes.
All right, but I'm not cursing. No, give us the cursors of reading.
You're reading it. And can you do accents? Bank, bank, bank.
I-N-G. Yeah, do some accents too.

Like what?

The Jerry Jones accent.

Yeah.

Look, my daddy grew up on a farm.

Yeah, you got this.

You got this, Jake.

Come on.

This will be a lot of fun.

All right.

Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys took the floor.

Look, my daddy grew up on a farm in southwest Missouri.

Every so often in the spring, the wind would come from a different part of the country

and the moon would set a different way and the owls would start F-ing

the chickens.

Billy's an owl.

Nobody knew where he was going with this story.

Billy can't respond.

The owls are F-ing

the chickens.

Jones continued. It makes no sense

that they turn this down, but it's a great

thing for us. I feel like you guys would be much better at this.
No, no, no. that they turn this down but it's a great thing for us i feel like you guys be much better at this no no no you're crushing this uh we're not playing 17 games jerry said executive committee member dominique foxworth who now who now works for espn it's not going to happen richard sad straight straighter in his chair but which one's wait this is oh so this is jerry richardson now he's come in.
I don't really have an accent. Southern also.
Yeah, with a dash of misogyny. Or a handful of misogyny.
Pretend it's Jeans Friday and he's a little turned on. I'm out.
I'm out. What? No, give us your horny voice.
No. I'll do Southern.
Alright, Billy, you go ahead. Billy, do the horny voice.
Do the horny voice. Alright, Richardson sat straighter in his chair.
We can make you. We don't have to ask you.
We're being nice by not saying fuck you. You have to do it.
All right, now Jake. We're not being nice by not telling you.
F-U-C-K-U. We're not playing.
Foxworth responded. We're being nice by not telling you.
Fuck you, we'll play with replacement players. Richardson said.
We're being nice by not telling you. F-U-C-K-U, good luck filling up stadiums with the Ryan Leaf at quarterback.
Foxworth replied. It was getting out of hand.
Oh, no, that's a lot of F-U. This is Demoree Smith.
That's a lot of fuck you. I think you have a a lot of fuck you yeah okay great job boys hell yeah fuck you off i fuck you off can you imagine how much money these meetings would make if they were live streamed like on pay-per-view yeah i'd love to see jerry jones just get up there and address the room poor ryan leaf gets a ricochet shot yeah that was that was do you actually think that owls were fucking j Jones' chickens? Yes.
Billy? I read it in a farmer's almanac. There you go.
I didn't even have to answer. Billy? That's some actual magic stuff, farmer's almanacs.
Yeah, it is. The squirrels getting fat and being like, all right, well, we're going to get 100 inches of snow this year.
Yeah, the way the moss grows on the tree. I was reading one just for content purposes, and it was pretty interesting.
What kind of content did you make out of it? Well, I was trying to make a gambling content with the Farmer's Almanac because it tells the future. Okay.
How'd that go? I couldn't relate the two. Okay.
Good try, though. Nice try.
Oh, by the way, Billy had asked to be part of the Macrodosing podcast on Sunday night to be our Jamie, and I said yes. And then 12 hours later, Billy just didn't show up for work.
So that was classic Billy. We're working on it, though.
He'll be there next week. He's telling the truth.
Yeah, he's telling the truth. Tell the truth.
Tell the truth. All right.
Go ahead, Hank. Guys on chicks.
Hey, sexy daddy cat and tall cut pro PFT. So I asked my boyfriend the other day if he jacks off in the bathroom, and he said yes, sometimes when he's getting ready in the morning.
I asked why the bathroom smelled like nasty cum, and he told me he throws his cum tissues in the trash rather than flushing it. What's wrong with my boyfriend, and why does it smell so bad? Well, I'm trying to figure out his process here, because if he's in the bathroom jacking off, why isn't he just doing it in the shower? And why is he doing it in the toilet? Yeah.
Well, yeah, first of all, if you're not jacking off in the shower, there's a toilet right there. That's where tissue goes.
Right. Second of all, the shower is right there where you don't need tissues.
It seems like he's actually picking the worst amount of steps. Yeah.
Why is he just shooting to the toilet? That's what I'm I'm saying. Is he trying to mark his territory? Either shoot in the toilet, shoot in the shower, or flush the tissue.
Yeah, your boyfriend sucks. Hey, hard body cat, PFT cowboy hat guy and honk.
A few months ago, I wrote you all telling my boyfriend saving money he had been gambling with for my future engagement ring. Today is our two-year anniversary, and he got me a gift with some of said money.
The gift was pretty pricey, too. Do you think he's being honest now? Wait.
About his gambling? He's not proposing. Wait, he won money? That's what she's implying.
No. I don't think so.
So he probably stopped gambling. It's actually a great window into his finances to see how much do you usually lose gambling if two months later your gift is really nice.
You can kind of do the math and be like, oh, so you're putting five grand on the line every weekend. Yeah, he must have just not liked the board.
It happens. It does.
Hey, Buffcat PDF and Blue Balls Billy. I recently discovered my boyfriend has a really weird fetish.
For Valentine's Day, he bought me a stuffed bear with some hearts on it, and I thought it was cute, and will put it on my bed after making it. Oh.
say things like, you like what you see. As we continued, he then grabbed the bear and started choking it.
It would not stop until we were done. It has gotten worse.
Every time we have sex since then, he continues to say dirty things and grab the bear whenever we get really into it. To make matters worse, I noticed there's a small hole in the bear's butt.
Do you think he's doing this as a joke, or does he really have a fetish for this? There's a camera in the bear. Yeah, this is a nanny cam.
Oh, I was gonna say I think you're fucking your dog. It's a nanny cam.
He just keeps grabbing the toy bear and roughing it up. It's a nanny cam.
Oh, I was going to say, I think you're fucking your dog. It's a nanny cam.

He just keeps grabbing the toy bear and roughing it up.

It's true.

It's a nanny cam.

There's cameras.

They hide cameras in stuffed bears.

Yeah.

And you leave them out on your couch to see what the nanny or what the babysitter does.

We actually have a nanny cam in this studio for Billy that he doesn't know about.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

Yeah, in the dick of bobbleheads.

Wave to it, Billy.

Oh, fuck.

Are you serious?

Wave to it.

All right, I have a confession.

The Mountain Dew bottle was mine.

Thank you. that he doesn't know about.
Are you serious? Yeah, in the dick of bobblehead. Wave to it, Billy.
Oh, fuck.

Are you serious?

Wave to it.

All right, I have a confession.

The Mountain Dew bottle was mine.

Wow.

I mean, we knew that. I'd rather he hear it from me.

Didn't you already say that?

Oh, yeah.

No, but he's definitely got an OnlyFans account

where he's uploading this content.

You might want to dissect that there next time.

Just ask him for 50% of the earnings.

Yeah.

Yeah. No.
Dude. What? 75.
Come on. Empower the women.
Production value. You know what you just did? What? You just glass ceilinged it.
Fuck. Fucking shame on you, Billy.
Hey, Sig Cat and Cowboy PFT. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while, and he's always at the gym.
He goes like twice a day. And I was a little insecure, so I asked to to go with him just to make sure he was actually going in the gym and not cheating he's kind of acted weird about it but finally gave in the day i went he said he was maxing out his maximum bench was 185 that's it do you think he's cheating on me because how could someone who is always talking about working out wait wait wait wait only be able to bench 185 go back a second second.
You said that this guy works out a bunch?

Twice a day, he says.

And his max is what?

He said he's maxing out, but his max bench is only 185.

Oh, my God.

Do you think he is cheating on me?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, 185, there's really no other explanation.

You're either dating the biggest soy boy beta bitch, or he's cheating on you.

Wow.

185 is just ridiculously low. I mean, Billy doesn't even

Or he's in Fight Club.

What? Wouldn't she notice that?

And what? Oh, Billy's saying that's

where he goes secretly. Yeah.

Oh. I think she would notice that.

Yeah. I don't know.

Okay. You think he's just a great fighter?

Powerlifting and

fighting isn't really compatible.

Right. So...
I realize that. Okay.
Maybe he might be... Well, you're 1-0, dude.
I know, but you lose all your gains. Oh, God.
But when you were working out before, you knew that you were going to fight. You were already getting trained.
You were getting your body ready for a fight even before Jose Canseco's name was even mentioned. True.
That's why you were at 185. Maybe this guy's got, like, he might be maybe still in the closet, and when he says he's going to get a workout at the gym, he says, like, at gyms, and he says it really fast.
Just goes to hang out with his buddy. Either way, don't shame him.
I mean, 185 is, if you go to the gym in any type of regularity and you are 185, that's absolutely pathetic. Really? I mean, I think I could bench 185.
I haven't been in the gym in years. Most gyms will actually revoke your membership if you go there every day because you're like, you're obviously, you're not getting out of this what you're putting into it.
Right. Should we rep out 185 right now? Yeah, sure.
I'll probably get hurt, but I could probably do it. I'd probably get hurt, but I could probably do do it i actually took some of the weights home over the weekend to practice so i don't think we have 185 here yeah all right i could definitely do it uh my husband's birthday is friday he's an awl and has most of your merch he only tells people that he wants cash for a gift what do you recommend i get him cash yeah cash cash he couldn't be more transparent he wants cash you know what though the greatest gift in the world cash is amazing cash is king will never turn, cash.
Cash. He couldn't be more transparent.
He wants cash. You know what, though? It's the greatest gift in the world.
Cash is amazing. Cash is king.
We'll never turn down cash. However, we're getting close enough to the end of this pandemic thing where if somebody gave me like a $100 Dave and Buster's gift card right now, I would be fucking pumped.
It would be something to look forward to in the future where I'm like, May 15th, we're going to fucking Buster's. Yeah.
Remember the days in the pandemic like the first week or two when everyone's like hey if we just buy gift cards to your favorite restaurant we'll keep it in business. Yeah I do remember that.
That was cool. Turns out it took Dave Portnoy Yeah.
Save the world. Bought everybody gift cards.
Save the world. Yeah cash.
Just get them cash. Cash is the best.
You can buy whatever you want. Alright let's do numbers.
Billy. Give me an 18.
No, 18. 19.
I think about taking Jake's numbers sometimes. In 1974, there was a chimpanzee war that lasted seven years called the Combe Chimpanzee War, where two rival chimpanzee troops went to war.
Jane Goodall recorded it. Dude, this machineunting you Hank taunting you 2 out of 3 for 17 are you on 19 now you're being taunted it's actually just trailing you if 19 comes up on Friday I'm gonna be so happy Billy that that chimpanzee war thing sounds metal it's crazy and then a third separatist group arised it's actually there's a documentary on it that's metal as fuck.
It's crazy. And then a third separatist group Arised.

There's a documentary on it.

That's very cool.

We should Matt Matt.

Love you guys. Talking away I don't know what I'm to say

I'll say it anyway

Today's another day

To find you

Shying away

I've been coming for your love

Take on me

Take me

I'm not a man Take on me Take me on I'll be gone And I'll be watching Needless to say.

I'm on the sentence.

But I need to run away.

For the land of life is a pain.

Say after me.

It's no better to be safe than sorry. Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry.
Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me.
Take me home.

I'll be gone.