Chris Long, Jeff Fisher, And Super Wild Card Weekend Preview

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On today's part of my take, super wildcard weekend. We've got Chris Long drafting quarterbacks this weekend.
We have Coach Jeff Fisher. We're going to break down every game.
We have a special happy to be there teaser, can't lose par we're gonna talk about the games we got fire fest of the week it's all here friday before super wild card weekend the first ever super wild card weekend ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always

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Okay, let's go. Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff, work to be done No place to hang a long washing And then I can't name all of the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue Part of my take presented by Bar School Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

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Today is Fri-yay, January 8th.

Super wild card weekend.

Super wild card weekend.

How many times are we going to say super wild card weekend?

It feels better just because you tossed an extra word on there.

It's mega deluxe wild card super weekend.

This is tied for my favorite weekend of the year with next weekend. Yeah, March Madness.
Yeah, March Madness is pretty good when that gets kicked off. But just looking at all the games, I'm more confused than I am clear about any of these games.
Well, let's talk it out. Let's hash it out, Big Cat.
Let's figure it out. Let's figure out what I think.
All right, let's talk out what we think.

I think actually what we should do is we should talk it out.

We should talk out how we could see it going,

maybe pros and cons for each team.

Let's talk it out.

Billy, you're welcome to chime in.

Hank, you're welcome to chime in,

even though you guys don't have teams in the playoffs.

P.F.T., is your team in the playoffs?

My team is in the playoffs.

Oh, my team is too. We made it to the dance.
Yeah, we made it to the dance. We have a special teaser in the Barstool Sportsbook app that is the Happy to be there teaser that is the Bears and the Washington football team.
And I think it's plus 120. Yeah, it is plus 120.
Sorry, plus 125. Look at that.
How can you not bet that? Plus 125, and you get the Bears at 16.5 and the Washington football team at 15.5. Why not us? I almost want to say that's can't lose, but I'm not going to.
It is close to can't lose territory. It's as close to can't lose as you can get.
And you know what? We are happy to be there. Let's start with the Bears.
Let's start with the Bears. No, no, no.
Let's go order. I need to go order for my own brain.
We have to go Saturday.

We have to do that.

It's like a buildup.

My brain will fall apart if I don't do that

because I've just been thinking about it very linear.

You're stuck to the concept of time, man.

Yeah.

All right.

Sad.

Time, whoa.

Colts at Bills.

Colts at Bills.

I'm going to start with a stat for you, PFT.

Philip Rivers playing in temperature under 32 degrees,

one in five all time.

There you go.

Good enough for me.

Rivers, you know what happens.

He's going to have to wear so many under layers. When it gets cold outside, Rivers freeze up.
That's a fact in nature. It's going to be a fact this weekend.
The boys from Lake Erie on both sides of it, I think, are going to win this weekend. Josh Allen's just playing too good.
He's playing like an insane person. So the thought that is out there right now that has the Colts possibly hanging in this game and potentially winning this game, I do not think they will.
I'm going to take the Bills. But is that they play a style of defense and they play a zone that has at least slowed down the Buffalo Bills at times this year.
I don't buy it because Josh Allen, we've seen it, even against the Steelers. Remember that Steelers game where the first half it was low scoring, second half it kind of broke wide open? Josh Allen's a playmaker.
Guess what? You want to drop back in zone? He'll beat you with his feet. He can do everything.
So I think they're humming. I'm really just going off of closing my eyes, thinking about a 29-degree day, thinking about Phil Rivers wearing 16 pairs of long johns and turtlenecks and him trying to climb the pocket and pass the ball to, like, the far hash and it just not getting there.
It doesn't work in my brain either. He's going to be wearing that super dark tan Carhartt jacket underneath his uniform.
Well, I will respect Jonathan Taylor. So Jonathan Taylor, if there's a way that the Colts win, it's by Jonathan Taylor running for 225 yards.
But barring that, if he gets under 200 yards, then the Bills will win. I think that's a metric that you can look at.
Every single time Jonathan Taylor has rushed for over 210 yards in a game, the Colts win. So it's pretty simple.
Just feed them the ball for the Colts. That's like when you go back and look at time of possession stats after the fact, and you're like, well, when they have the ball for 40 minutes, well, why did they have the ball for 40 minutes? Well, they got out to a 14-0 lead and were able to sit on it.
Oh, okay. Well, that also helps.
I do hope that the Colts can put up a banner for this game, though. Regardless, win or lose, let's put the wild card weekend participant in theapolis Colts.
Are you going Bills? I'm going Bills. I'm going Bills as well.
I like the Bills. And we're not doing against the spread here, right? We could do anything.
We could do anything we want. It's our show.
I'm going Bills against the spread and Bills in general. Yeah, I'll unveil my can't-lose parlay at the end.
But yeah, what do you think, Hank? What do you think? I'm going to ride with you guys. I'm going to enter my Play Barstool picks as you're doing it.
So this will be the PMT selection. What's the prize this week on the Play Barstool, the free app? It's a $25,000 prize.
You only have to pick five games against the spread and then the Sunday night game score. $25,000 prize if you go six for six.
If no one wins, we've only had a few winners this year. If no one wins, that $25,000 will be donated to the Barstool Fund.
And if we get 40,000 entries, $10,000 will be donated to the Barstow Fund. So if you're not playing,

you don't care about charity and the kids, pretty much. And small

businesses. By the way, the Bills,

weeks 1 through 9, they were 24th

in defense. And then weeks 10 through

17, they are 6th.

And they are giving up 20 points a game.

Flip the switch. They are the

complete team. Alright, next game.

Rams going to Seattle, playing the Seahawks. I think Jared Goff's going to play.
I'm pretty sure Jamal Adams is going to play, which is kind of an under-the-radar, like, oh, he got hurt in Week 17? I just see this game as being, like, slow, grinded out. Both these teams know each other.
It's crazy to think about Russ Wilson this year and how high everyone was on him being an MVP this year. I went back and I looked.
He has 40 touchdown passes this year. In the first eight weeks, he threw 28.
In the last eight weeks, he threw 12. So it's crazy to see the Seahawks have completely flipped who they are.
They played terrible defense the first half of the season and threw the ball a shitload. And then the second half, they decided to run the ball and play good defense.
Essentially, the Seahawks went from Texas Tech to Iowa football. All in the middle of a season.
And it works for the Seahawks. I like this formula for the Seahawks.
I think that if it's Jared Goff, they've got a chance. But if it's Wolford, I'm not this, and this is no shade towards our friend Jared Goff because he has a broken fucking thumb.
Like the fact that he's even thinking about playing means he's significantly tougher than anyone in this room. But I think the Rams regardless, like you'd rather have Goff than not.
But even with John Wolford, I think they can win this game because it's not going to be Sean McVay pass the ball 50 times I think they're going to play really good defense and try to run the ball a lot and the Seahawks are going to do the same that's why I like the under even though it's 42.5 but I think it's going to be these teams know each other back and forth this is what happens to me all the time in the NFL I was so dead sure that the Rams were going to be the team that was about to go on a little run a few weeks ago. And they lost the Jets.
And then they start breaking my heart. Then they lose the Jets.
So going into this game, if you had asked me a month ago, I would have said I like the Rams to basically make the Super Bowl out of the NFC. But right now, I can't bet on a Wolford.
Wolford is just one of those names. He kind of looks cool, though.
That picture of him, he doesn't give a fuck, and we're going to talk about this with Chris Long in a minute, but there's something scary about a guy who doesn't know he should suck. Yeah, but I think now he's going to know that he should suck because it's the playoffs.
It's the playoffs. I'm going up against Russ Wilson.
No fans. Maybe I should suck.
This is, it is actually like a home field disadvantage,

I think to a certain extent for the Seahawks.

Playing in that stadium without having fans

has got to be such an emotional letdown.

Do you know what it is?

Especially the guys that have been there for forever,

they're used to going out there and having their ears bleed

whenever the defense is on the field.

And now there's nobody.

They need to, this weekend, since it is a playoffs,

you need to create a playoff-like environment. They should be allowed to raise the decibels of the fake on-field noise i like that i like that um i uh the home field advantage statistically like legitimately if you look at it did not matter this year so i know that we it's hard to get that out of your head because you play the game like well they still gotta travel got to travel.
It has not. I think it was like 50.1% like home field, the home team covering versus the away team.
It really did not matter. So, I don't know.
I like the Rams and the under. I'm going to take the Seahawks.
I really like the under. I'm going to take the Seahawks, and I'm going to go with the over because you like the under so much.
Don't do that. Don't do it.

No, you're riding a heat check on the under because the one under

pick that you gave out this year hit.

Don't do it.

So now you're feeling yourself on it.

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

All right.

Seahawks as well?

Seahawks.

Seahawks.

Well, I like the Rams.

What is the line on the play bar still?

Three and a half.

That hook.

The hook.

I'll compromise on this one if you compromise on them later.

I think I would be the third. Yeah, it's your vote.
Rams. I love Jerry Coff.
I'll compromise on this one if you compromise on them later. I think I would be the third.

Yeah, it's your vote.

Ramps.

I love Jared Goff.

I love underdogs.

I love Jared Goff.

More than anyone in the world.

The Saturday night game.

The premier game of the week.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers going to the Washington football team.

PFT, would you like me to give you some stats that will help you?

I'll give you a stat that will confirm that the Washington football team is a team of destiny. Okay.
In fact, I've taken them off my team of destiny big board just because they're so far head and shoulders ahead of every other team when it comes to their destiny. They are by far the team in the NFL that has had the lowest COVID cases this year.
So really, I thought the Seahawks had zero. No, they had four.
Oh, football team had two. Okay.
If we're going by the Doug Farrar power rankings where the Titans are 32 because then they'll always stay 32 because they didn't respect the coronavirus. Unlike us couldn't be us.
We would never say anything that would lend you to believe that we didn't respect the virus. Yep.
The football team had two. We only had two this year.
So that's a real championship, Big Cat. We're the healthiest.
Yes. Healthiest.
You're the UConn football. We are the UConn football.
I have stats for you, though. Okay.
That will help you. Go ahead.
Okay. Teams that are 8-8 or worse have covered seven straight wildcard games.
Teams that are 8-8 or worse have won four straight wildcard games. Okay.
So the last four times a team has gone in with 8-8 or 7-9, and everyone says, how could this team ever win? They have won. The Panthers did it.
I remember the Seahawks did it. Yep.
You could make the argument right now that the Washington football team is the third best 7-9 team of all time. So if we win this next week, then we're tied for No.
1. Correct.
Which would be just a tremendous opportunity for us. But the most important stat, four wins.
That's all we need. Four wins and a Super Bowl.
It's probably not going to happen, but there's something about being an underdog, being underrated, having the entire narrative this week be like like wow your team really sucks the entire division really sucks but where it's like this is where the nfl flips itself we called it like four months ago that the nfc east was going to suck they get a sub 500 team into the playoffs and they eventually shot the world i don't want a narrative off you but i don't if you look at this weekend and i am i i and I agree with what you're saying in the fact that we always look at the playoff weekend or any big football weekend, and the game that everyone's talking about is too obvious becomes the opposite. I don't think it's the Washington football team game, though, because I think everyone is silently saying, ooh, Chase Young, Chase Young.
I don't think it's the Bears. What do you mean they're silently saying it's Chase Young? Well, they're saying it in close quarters.
They're not saying it. And Chase Young is saying it.
People are whispering to each other. No, they're signing it to each other.
People are winking or ESPing to each other. Don't be an ableist.
Chase Young. Okay.
No, there's been murmurs, though. Pass rush, this, that.
Murmurs. I don't think the Bears the Bears have that either.
The team that everyone has written off is the Browns. No, because people are talking about the Browns.
No, but this Kevin Stefanski thing, and we'll get to the Browns later, but I think they take the cake of the team that everyone has written off. Well, in protest to Tom Brady, I have not drank water all week.
I've been drinking everything else. I've been drinking supplements.
I saw you drinking some pee earlier. I've been drinking some piss, mostly piss.
I've been opening my mouth, collecting moisture as I walk around. And a shout-out to Eli Manning, a guy that beat Tom Brady twice in the Super Bowl.
I'm staying clear of the TB12 method. In fact, I've got to bet with Stephen Che where if his Bucs win, I've got to go on the TB12 method.
If they lose, he has to eat tomatoes every single meal. Until the football team loses.
Very bad acid reflux. I have another stat for you.
Hit me. Tom Brady.
And this is the theory that we've been throwing out there that is confirmed by this stat. He's going to be tired because he looted the capital yesterday.
Nope. One in six last seven night games.
One in six last seven night games. Nine touchdown nine touchdowns eight interceptions if you don't think this guy goes to sleep at seven o'clock every night you're crazy well he's also dealing with advanced age he's going to sleep early tough like it's tough to go into raljohn and win a game past eight o'clock at night that's just a fact and some people have been asking me i guess if you haven't listened to part of my take since its inception what is is Ralph John, Maryland? So I should probably redress that because there'll be the fake.
The casuals out there are going to be calling it Landover on Saturday. It's Ralph John.
When Jack Kinkuk died back in 1996, 97, whenever that was, he left the team kind of to his children. But more importantly than that, he named the entire town after his two sons, Ralph and John.
Ralph John. And it was called Ralph John Maryland until the team got purchased, but I choose to still refer to it as Ralph John.
I like it. So, picks for this game.
The Bucs are going to win. I think the Washington football team is going to cover.
I agree. I agree.
I agree. But you know what? Don't be surprised if the football team wins.
That's a great way to say. Eight and a half.
I do think the Washington football team will cover. But I do think the Washington team will win.
I love UPFT, but I think they're getting shit pumped. Okay.
Wait, but it's two to one. It is.
Yeah. The official pick is Washington.
I just keep going back. I saw this stat.
The DVOA biggest gaps ever for playoff teams. The Washington football team is 32nd in offense and 3rd in defense.
Okay. That's a significant gap.
Now, but you have to take into account that several of those games were started by Dwayne Haskins. But I actually think Dwayne Haskins...
No, stop that. I'm going to stop you right there.
Yeah, no, I'm going to say it. Because the narrative coming from Sunday night was all about Doug Peterson and the Eagles, and everyone just forgot that Alex Smith couldn't move.
Right. But we might A-B him.
We might mix him in with Taylor Heineke, which is you get a dual threat quarterback in there. Yeah.
If you have two quarterbacks, you have doubled the pleasure. Yeah, and you also have two most popular guys in town, if they're both backups, which is great.
I just don't think there There's one other stat. Here's a stat for you.
This is from my guy J.P. Finley at J.P.
Finley NBCS. He was saying that he found some good news for Washington.
Tom Brady is 31st in the NFL in on-target throws. Okay.
31st in the entire NFL in terms of on-target throws at 73%, and even worse, he's making a bad throw on 20% of his attempts, which is the fourth worst in the league. Let's go.
So there's a path. There is a path.
I found a path here. There is a path.
No, all these stats are backing up. I have another one for you, PFD.
And also there's buzz that Deshaun Watson could be on the Washington football team next year. I think everyone has buzz with Deshaun Watson Watson.
Well, we had the first Photoshop. We were first to market in terms of putting him.
Wrong. Well, those were troll Photoshop.
The Bears have had Photoshop for a very long time. The Bears are probably scrambling, trying to figure out, like, where's our scouting file we had on Deshaun? Oh, yeah, that's right.
We forgot to scout him. Yep.
So we're going to start from scratch. Only third time in playoff history, a road team has been a favorite of a TD or more in a wildcard game.
Both times, the under and the underdog covered. You know what? I'm saying it right now.
Keep sleeping. It's just all these stats.
Come on. America, Vegas, haters, keep sleeping.
that's all i'm saying tom brady i'm coming here's this here's a scary thing pft if we do visualization exercise alex smith with the ball needing to go 80 yards it's a vagina to score a touchdown with four minutes left that's scary yeah well the formula for winning this game is to not be down with four minutes left. The formula is to never let them score and hope you get a field goal.
The formula is to go on one drive that lasts the entire game. Just be legends for one drive.
Just get like one yard per play, mix in a few nice penalties, just run some time off the clock, and go on a 60-minute drive and end it with a one yard touchdown run no maybe and then i think we can win onside kick to start the game and then you also receive the kick second half i mean if we're being honest the formula for winning this game is the exact same formula that the football team had for beating the bucks back in 2006 which is uh a defensiveumble, return for a touchdown,

and then maybe, maybe one offensive touchdown, if we're lucky.

If you get crazy.

And then hope that Chris Sims isn't able to beat you with his arm.

That's the formula for beating the Bucs in playoffs.

All right, Sunday.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

I think everyone has this circled as the game of the weekend.

Yeah, I would say so.

Ravens-Titans, game of the weekend. rematch from last year rematch from earlier this season when they played in overtime the uh tennessee titans i don't know i i'm starting to believe in the ravens but they've also beaten no one and then when i look at the other side i like, the Titans' offense is fucking electric and will score points.
But holy shit, their defense has struggled. I don't want to slap Will Compton in the face here.
No, he's a boy. I like Will Compton.
If you had 11 Will Comptons, their defense would be number one. I think we all agree on that.
I'm from the school of hard boys. I think that the boys are great.
I think that I will never disrespect them on these airwaves however i think that they're going to get run all over not the boy necessarily he'll make some good tackles he'll definitely he'll be great out of the way if he has to yeah don't make a business decision will it's okay what kind of weird haircut is the boy gonna have you know be funny if he had so he's got like the peaky blinder haircut if he did the tim tebow inside of the peaky blinder so he made made an actual bird's nest on his head. Oh, I was going to say, I thought you were going to say he just put a bunch of razor blades in his gloves and just tries to beat the Ravens by physically killing them.
Blinding them. Yes.
You should do the Minnesota hockey thing. Oh, yeah.
Get the Titans to do that. I don't, this game's going to be fun.
I do, the over's way too high, I feel like. 54 and like 54 and a half For a playoff game Yeah I think that the Ravens Are They've been thinking about this game For a year Like a full calendar year And it kind of showed this season Because they They weren't totally dialed in Throughout the regular season They're also A lot healthier on defense now They've been thinking about the playoffs Just nothing but nothing but remembering.
And they've got a little extra fuel in their tank going this weekend. What's the line on play Barstool? Three and a half? It's three right now.
Two and a half. Two and a half.
Give me the Ravens. And also, if you're the Titans, last year you had the promise that Mike Vrabel was going to cut his dick off if you won enough games.
What's he going to cut off this year? Mike Vrabel has been a little too quiet in terms of castration and what appendage he's going to remove. You've got to say, all right, I'll leave my dick intact, but I'll take one ball out.
You guys can smash one of my balls like Coach McCarkey. What if he did that before the game? He took one of his nuts, had it removed, smashed it like Mike McCarthy before a Cowboys game.

I feel like if he does that, I'm going to retract this.

But until that's been proven that he's done it, I'm going to go with the Ravens, minus two and a half.

Didn't he say he was going to cut his dick off if he won a Super Bowl?

Yeah.

That was last year.

But I think it was that year.

But he hasn't said anything about it.

Yeah, because he knows he has a chance to win the Super Bowl this year. Speaking of which, the Washington football team is my last remaining pinky team.
That's right. Of the seven I picked.
The NFC East. Yeah, it was the entire NFC East.
All right. Bears-Saints.
Nine and a half. I'm being realistic.
I do not think the Bears are going to have a chance in this game. Partly because of some of the injuries.
Roquan Smith being out will be very bad if he is officially out. Jalen Johnson being out will be very, very bad secondary-wise.
I'm just, they're just not that good. But I'm happy to be there.
I'm going to, what I've been, I've been the bargaining phase, PFT, where I'm essentially saying, just give it a one-score game in the fourth. Make it close.
Be respectable. Let's fucking hang out and have a one-score game in the fourth.
I know that once I get to Sunday, I'll be so jacked up for this game that I won't care. But if I'm a realistic cat right now, I just don't see it.
I don't know. Unless Drew Brees is just more washed than even I think he is, and I probably think he's the most washed person of all time, I just don't see it.
What about this? If Drew Brees loses, this would be his last game ever. Yeah.
No one's talking about that. That's true.
And depending on how things shake out, this could be Drew Brees' last game in New Orleans. True.
And Sean Payton tried to swagger jack our idea of having the entire stadium turn into a quarantine zone. Which I love that Sean actually put feelers out to see if this was possible.
That tells me that his head's in the right place. Where he's like, okay, how many hotels do we need to reserve to have this actually work out? And I guarantee you that the city of New Orleans, the hotels down there, if Sean Payton asked them to be like, hey, can you just take a loss on this entire weekend and just serve as a temporary quarantine facility and not charge people money? Right.
The hotels in New Orleans would be like, yeah, absolutely. What else do you need? That's it? Yeah, done.
The problem that I keep coming up with is that I'm thinking about how the Bears can win this game,

and the only things I come up with are not related to the actual game. So it's, well, I guess kind of adjacent to the game.
One is the Saints always lose in hilarious fashions, and the NFL screws them over some way. Yeah.
So that's just hoping that some kind of miracle happens in terms of a ref show. And then two, that maximum pain, like Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake or opening up a door and finding the boogeyman, maximum pain for me and all Bears fans is winning this game somehow, feeling like the Bears are actually getting something, and then opening that door and's just aaron rogers laughing and doing the fucking stupid discount double check and thrusting his uh well i'm not you know what there just wasn't a lot of depth on the thrust yeah i'm not gonna say talk about another person's uh private parts i'm just gonna say the thrusts weren't deep so that's what i opened that door and he's thrusting shallowly in my Yeah, but then again you have to think about the fact that Danica is a very small lady.
So probably not a whole lot of hip movement going on. You would rather have that...
Well, here's another one. Kamara and the entire running back room might be down with the Coco.
So there's still a chance that the league... And you know that Roger Goodell would like nothing more than to strictly enforce certain protocols on the Saints more so than on other teams.
Yep, yep. And so there's a path there for you.
Shut down their running game, not via your defense, but via league mandate, and then hit Drew Brees enough to the point where he's not injured enough to go out of the game, but he's injured enough to not be able to pass the ball more than five yards downfield to their fifth string running back. Yes.
So that's the path for you. Other painful ways to lose this game.
Drew Brees gets knocked out in the first quarter and James Swinson comes in and just passes all over us. Yeah.
Yeah. That would be very painful.
I think we discussed that earlier in the week and that would be, it would be bittersweet though. I hate putting this out in the universe, but it's something that has crossed my mind and I have to at least be an open book about it Cairo Santos has been awesome this year that's another painful thing that I've thought about so let's just say right now sitting here on Friday morning and you're listening to this I don't feel great but guess what when I don't feel great usually that's when I get shocked still think the Bears cover, though.
I really did think that in 2018 they were playing the best top three football team in the NFL when the double doink happened. I was very confident that they could get a role and have a deep run.
This is the opposite. So maybe the opposite will happen.
You were one doink away. Maybe the opposite will happen.

Also, just putting that out there, Nick Foles comes in the second half.

You'd probably feel good about that, wouldn't you? No.

Like if he came in off the bench in the playoffs?

No.

Are you out of your mind?

Yeah, because our offensive line is not good enough to block for Nick Foles.

But you're being too logical about the reasons why you wouldn't think Nick Foles would be a fit.

Yeah.

Nick Foles, just weird shit. Grit happens when Nick Foles comes into the game in the playoffs.
Guess what? We're in the off's. Not going to apologize.
We're in the off's. We've been reading articles all week.
It's been exciting to think about Sunday. I'm excited for Sunday to get here.
I'm excited for the chance that the Bears could maybe pull off a miracle. We're in the off's.
We're realistically looking at the game. I don't see a path, but that's when...
Don't count us out. And it's also the Nickelodeon game of the week, which is going to be fun.
Are you going to watch our Nickelodeon? We're going to watch it here. I am absolutely watching this.
We're going to have multiple. I don't know if we're going to go sound on Nickelodeon, Jake.
Oh, you have to support my friend. No, Jake, I can't do it.
I'll be in here while you're. All right, great.
Wait, who's announcing it? My friend Noah Eagle. Okay.
Oh, wait. Noah That's a crazy coincidence that his son is announcing.
I'm happy for him. I'm happy for you to be happy for him.
Has he given you any insight into what the different features of the game are going to be with Nickelodeon? Way to do your job, Jake. I would like to see, personally, the adventures of Pete and Pete, but just have Peter King and Pete Prisco at halftime just boxing each other.
Just fighting each other with their tiny arms. Salute your shorts and they just play the entire game.
Everyone, no pads. I'm looking forward to this broadcast.
Okay. Hank? That's the group pick.
Yeah, sure. We did.
I mean, all those stats that I said for the Washington football team count for the Bears. They do.
The 8-8 or worse teams, 4-0 in their last four times playing in the playoffs, 7-1 in their last eight games against the spread. Like, that is – those happen.
Everyone's counting out the Bears. Don't count out the Bears.
Did I say that with any kind of confidence? No. That was a please I'm begging you.
Please don't count us out yet. I just need to get to game day because once I get to game day, I'm going to be like, yes, this is going to happen.
What I'm rooting for is either the football team or the Bears. It doesn't really matter which.
I would maybe prefer it to be the football team, but I just like us as a podcast to be happy, to be still happy because the eventual heartbreak that will happen will be better for the show. Yeah.
Yes. All right.
Last up Brown Steelers, Kevin Stefanski, not coaching. This is the game where I feel like everyone's like, nah, this is Steelers easy.
Even going back to Big Ben is never lost to the Browns in Pittsburgh they have not won Cleveland has not won in Pittsburgh in 17 years that's Billy pretty much Billy's life Big Ben is 24 and 2 against the Browns he owns the Browns the Steelers own the Browns they're coaches and coaching I feel like the steelers found something and for that reason i like the steelers or the browns on the spread okay how long has it been since they've won in pittsburgh 2003 2003 uh here's something um what do you got i happen to know that there's a browns fan out there he's no longer with us name is Scotty Rad. Swagger.
Scotty Rad. Well, there's obviously the team of destiny.
Swagger's birthday. Or no, Swagger's death day is on Super Bowl Sunday.
Which, if the Browns do get to that point, you better lay all your fucking money on the Browns. There's a Browns fan named Scotty Rad.
And Scotty Rad passed away. Before he passed away, he helped to construct the railway, the light rail outside of Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, right? His diehard Browns fan went to every single game, big party guy.
While he was constructing that light rail, he buried a Bernie Kosar jersey in the light rail overlooking Heinz Field. To me, this is a Scotty Rad game.
This is when his jersey that he put there, and you can ask Bernie Kosar about it. Somebody text or tweet at Bernie Kosar.
He might not remember. But this jersey is going to win the game for the Browns.
It's going to happen. I like it.
And if you're the Browns, you've got to be scared about this. You've got to cheat.
You've also got to cheat. Let me be clear.
You need to cheat this weekend in terms of figuring out a way to get Kevin Stefanski to be able to call the plays. You have to cheat.
I would love to see the NFL try to bury the Browns. And you know what? If they do, if the Browns cheat and get caught and win, the NFL is not going to do shit about it until after they conduct a very thorough investigation and hire some ex-director of the FBI to come in and do it like they did with the Patriots.
And Ernie Corsi. And Ernie Corsi.
They're not going to do shit about it until next year. And if you beat the Steelers, I guarantee you Browns fans will be like, yeah, take away our draft picks.
I don't give a shit. We beat the Steelers in the playoffs in Heinz Field.
Agreed. Worth it.
So Browns, cheat cheat cheat cheat permission to cheat we are giving you permission we are we're we are pardoning you of all cheating yeah it's like you know if you get into a relationship a lot of times people will say I've got a list a list oh uh if Scarlett Johansson ever comes on right I can do the deed Browns fans your list is you're allowed to cheat if it means beating the Steelers in the playoffs. Agreed.
Agreed. All right, are you putting it in, Hank? What's the official score? Oh, we have to do score? On the play bar or slap.
27. Browns, 27? Browns, 27.
Steelers, 21. 24.
24? Yeah, 24. 27, 24? Mike Tomlin's going to kick a field goal when he should have gone for it on fourth down to make it a three-point game.
Okay. Or it'd be a Cody Parkey game-winning field goal.
Why did you do that? I'm just saying 27-24. You son of a bitch.
27-20. I'm Cody Parkey.
All right, 24, 24. But then they win in overtime on a pick six.
So would that be 30-24? Cody Parkey misses a kick at the end of the game. All hope is lost.
Big Ben, either fumble six or pick six to end the game. Dude, how does it suck to be Cody Parkey? Like, I actually don't like him, and I don't feel bad for him.
But did you see? So I think yesterday was the anniversary of Double Doink, and the day before was the anniversary of Auburn versus Florida State, and it wasn't a big kick, but it was a first-quarter kick, and they're like, and Cody Parkey misses the kick. I'm like, holy shit, I forgot he was on Auburn.
Yeah. So he's just got that back-to-back days.
I also love when the announcers talk about Heinz Field. They always have to say the swirling wind of Heinz Field.
That's the end zone where the wind swirls a lot. Tough place to kick.
Yeah, if Cody Parkey kicks into the swirling end, then they're fucked. Oh, man.
But I still think they tie overtime game-winning pick six Browns. All right.
I have a can't-lose parlay for you guys. Are you ready for it? Are you ready to hear it? It's going to be the most ambitious one I've ever done.
It's probably going to be like plus 500 by the time that we get it all set up. Okay.
PFT, I think it's actually good that I have the Bucs in it money line. Okay.
Okay. Baltimore, Bucs, Bills, Steelers, all money line.
No spread, all money line okay okay baltimore bucks bills stealers all money line no spread all money line

baltimore bucks bills stealers all money line i like it i like it so far okay seahawks rams

adjusted total which you can do on the barstool sportsbook app under 51 and a half

okay i like that one less but under 51 and a half like think think about scores in that game

Thank you. sportsbook app under 51 and a half okay i like that one less but under 51 and a half like think about scores in that game 27 24 you win if jared's not playing that's that's money yeah and then bears plus 21 and a half yeah yeah man it'd be really fucked up adjusting that that i was like At first I was like 17 and a half.
I was like, nah, let's kick it up a little. Or if you hit all of them and the Bears lose by 24.
Yeah, that would suck, Jake. Thank you.
I hope that the Nickelodeon broadcast goes off poorly. You got to get slimed.
You were mean. Instead of soggy sorrows, Big Cat's got to do slimy sorrows.
If the Bears blow his can't-lose parlay. Oh, man, 21 and a half points.
God, they're going to miss it. Now that everything's going out there, it's like Kairos Santos misses an extra point.
They lose by 22. Hank, what's your body telling you? Like, this time of year, you should be getting ready for the playoffs? You should be feeling good about it? Yeah, you're like hormones acting off? You should be overconfident.
But right now, it's like, is it, it's like... This is usually a preparation weekend.
This is a preparation weekend. I'm usually thinking three weeks ahead.
I'm thinking about the AFC Championship. Usually, my mind is focused on there's no shot we're losing next week.
Who are we going to play in the AFC Championship? How about this? Which team in the AFC are you most scared about playing in the AFC Championship game?

The Chiefs.

Really?

Not the Bills?

No.

I mean, we've dominated the Bills for years.

I mean, come on. Who would you want to play in the second round?

That doesn't matter, right?

Because you're going to go to the AFC Championship.

Right, but who would you?

The Colts.

The Colts?

Do you want to play the Colts?

Yeah, that happens.

It's happened a million times. Phillip Rivers, we play them in the divisional round to smoke them onto the championship.
Got it. Tale of the time.
Are you going to have a parlay for us, Billy? Yeah, it's going to combine betting the money line dogs underdogs, and then the favorites. You bet the Super Bowl future to win, but you got to make it so that the...
All in one pick? Yeah, well you bet... Wait, what? So for example, Steelers-Browns you bet the Browns.
Multiple teams can't win the Super Bowl just so you know. I know.
Okay, alright. You can't parlay that though.
You don't parlay. It's not a parlay.
Okay. Nothing's parlayed.
You bet all six underdogs. Moneyline.
And then you predict all the favorites to be the Super Bowl winners. But they still have to win two more games.
Right. And then just to get

to the Super Bowl. Right.
Then you re-up next week

and do the same thing.

But you bet the underdog.

I don't think you're... Yeah.
The math checks...

Really? The math checks out?

I've been working it. You said a second ago.

You hadn't done the math yet. Basically the only...

I'm trying to do it so

you lose all your money if the Chiefs win.

That's the only thing. Which is...
Okay. That's a very tough thing to throw out there.
So I'm still to do it so you lose all your money if the Chiefs win. That's the only thing.
Which is very high. That's a very tough thing.
I'm still figuring stuff out. Guys, if the Chiefs or Packers win, I'm going to lose everything.
But it doesn't go that way. I'm good.
You're going to talk about teams that are playing this weekend. Right.
So the Bills are like plus $700 and the Saints are plus $750. Right.
So you're putting a future on all those teams.

Yes, and then you bet the money line. What's the Rams future right now? So then if they lose...
You won the money line. You won the money line, which actually pays for the bet on the future.
Got it. Rams are plus 3,000.
I actually don't hate this, Billy. It's complicated.
I still have to figure out the math. I kind of don't hate this.
Because then next week you re-up it. you like bet that you

you then probably have to bet

Super Bowl the Super Bowl futures for the Chiefs and the Packers. But then you don't.
It's a very complicated system. Still working out the kinks.
Sounds very complicated. Alright, well, bet responsibly.
1-800-GAMBLER if you have a problem. The Barstool Sportsbook app.
we are doing a barstool fund thing with the barstool sportsbook app if you're listening to this and you're in the state of pennsylvania or if you live in the neighboring state you want to take a little quick drive if you have not made an account if you make an account this weekend and you deposit uh and you play with that money anything you play with we will then uh put towards a small business in pennsylvania the barst fund's over $20 million now. It's fucking insane.
Big Cat, the Bears and the football team are both 10,000 to one to win the Super Bowl right now. Wow.
Wow. Just saying.
I wouldn't. Just saying.
Yeah, just saying. Could we bid on both of them? Parlayed? Yeah, what if we parlayed both of them to lose? to not win the Super Bowl? What would that return on investment?

I don't know.

Like a nickel.

Yeah.

All right, let's get to our interviews.

We've got Chris Long.

We're going to break down the quarterbacks for Wild Card Weekend.

Then we have Coach Jeff Fisher.

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Okay, here he is, our good friend, Chris Long. Okay, we now welcome on our very, very good friend.
It's been too long because he's got his own fucking podcast that's been killing it. It isris long you're killing it killing it the green light

podcast go download it right now you can get it anywhere podcasts are available spotify uh apple

it it is great you also have like you know stanford steve's on it all the time it's a great it's a

great show um it's great read the green room you haven't listened to it you haven't listened to it

but it's great i just said it's i listened to stanford steve i'll listen to anything stanford

steve's on so just actually it sounded like it was a slap when Big Cat's, like you got all the big name guests, Stanford Steve. But in Big Cat's mind, like Stanford Steve is the top guest in the world.
If Steve does something, I'm listening to it. That's just a fact.
Yeah. So.
No, I mean, there's good reason for that. You do have, well, you get, I mean, you get Howie Long.
We haven't been able to get Howie Long on this fucking show, so. Well, Howie Long and I have a bit of an agreement.
What's that? He's your father? You're in his will? Yeah. Yeah.
All right, so Chris is on. We're going to talk some football.
We're going to talk some wild card weekend. I had the idea.
I want to go through some games, but I also wanted to do a quick – I was looking at the games. There's six games, 12 teams.
There's three of us. So I figured let's do a little draft of quarterbacks we trust wild card weekend because we can put it on a nice graphic and then throw it out there on Twitter and everyone will be like, oh, my God, how could you pick this guy? How could you do this? And we'll also discuss off of it.
So you pick and then we discuss the games that are associated with the quarterbacks chris because you are our guest we'll let you go first we'll have you go first pft then i'll go and we'll snake back around so everyone gets four quarterbacks am i doing the math right four quarterbacks 12 games 12 games so wait we're not including the chiefs in this no chiefs and packers are not, which will piss people off, which I actually enjoy. Well, yeah, a lot of people won't read the instructions behind this.
They're not going to read it at all. Also, I think Pickett's just doing this so that Aaron Rodgers doesn't appear on a graphic at the top of our list.
I actually started to jot it down, and he was my number one. Hey, tell me why last night I was getting warmed up for this whole experience, this whole wild wild card weekend experience.
I woke up this morning. You can tell the story.
Great text to wake up to. What will you say, Hank? Oh, sorry.
You go ahead, Chris. My bad.
No, I just fucking, I was just going through YouTube. I'm doing a thing on Bears fans, and you guys are something else.
But what does that mean? So I YouTube uh Bears fan reactions to the double doink and the first video I see is you bro yeah for a solid bit I did not know it was you you look a bit different now a little fat a little puffier uh me and Eddie just like Eddie and I I think there was a moment uh that you can find online of Eddie and I essentially holding each other in our arms, in each other's arms. Like the plane is about to go down.
I mean, Chris, if you want to get into the fat shit, I saw a clip of you on Twitter the other week. I was from your rookie year, your second year.
Oh, I was big. Dude, you looked like a fat bastard version of Kyle Trask.
You had blonder hair, your face was inflated. Your face really filled up a football helmet back in the day.
Dude, the worst look of my life was greasy, no facial hair, college. Just eating sodium off the rails, calories, drinking, and it carried over into my rookie year.
It wasn't a great look okay i didn't have any tattoos really to speak of and i was wearing that ugly st louis rams uniform and i was 20 pounds heavier i look a lot better now i think it's fair to don't let anybody tell your 20s or your best decade your 30s or your best decade oh i like that i look forward to i like that and there's also something i mean when you look at a fat picture of yourself as long as you're not fatter while you're looking at it you can laugh like you sent that video and outside the double doink i was like oh i feel fat right now like sitting here 2021 but looking at that picture i was like no that's that's real fat dan so seeing that seeing that video for you is as good as getting in a sauna and just feeling refreshed and feeling slimmer when you get out. Exactly.
That was a great thing to wake up to. Also, I love when you – I think you were part of the group because you're like, oh, I'm a good teammate of the whole like, oh, it was blocked.
It was blocked. No, it wasn't.
I wanted to bring that up. It wasn't fucking blocked, Chris.
Yes, it was. It was tip.
Just a tip, dude. It was just a tip.
Trayvon Hester's tip hit the ball. No.
It was missing anyway. He put his tip right on the ball, and then that guy left the stadium screaming at Corey Parkey.
Cody Parkey. Is that his name? Cody Parkey.
Have you ever found that guy that went viral? Have you guys had him on the show? He works for us. It's a mystery.
Don't't know the guy that called him cocksucker no i haven't found him he doesn't work for you oh he works for you guys i've known him for like a decade yes yes stop it yes yes what does he do for a living he's he blogs podcast redline radio great pie we'll have you we'll have to have you go on their show at some point he calls cody parker he'scksucker for a living. He's a real media? Yes.
Has he redacted that since he found out? No, he's doubled down. And it turns out he was right.
No, we actually, the Browns need to hire him on layaway on Sunday night just for a reaction when Cody Parkey undoubtedly misses another kick in Heinz Field. Oh, he's going to switch the accent.
Well, the fact that they did, Cody Parkey's still going to be in a playoff game, and now he's going to even worse place, like Soldier Field, bad place to kick, Heinz Field, even worse place to kick. That will surely not go poorly for him.
Oh, my God. It's so bad.
You're a ranking quarterback. I'm sure there's no catch to this exercise, so I'm just going to.
Where do you motherfuckers go first? No, you go first. There isn't.
It's a real football thing. It's real football.
The quarterbacks you trust the most or are playing the best right now, however you want to say it, you convince us. Okay.
It'll be a snake draft. Let's do it.
Okay, let's do it. Josh Allen.
Josh Allen, let's go. Good pick.
Why not? I mean, why not? He's legitimately playing the best football right now. So, you know, I'm sure some people – I might take him over almost anybody but Aaron.
I might take him over Mahomes right now in this moment. He's got a hose, man, and he is making these, like, incredible throws that I don't think any other quarterback, including Aaron Rodgers right now, can be making.
Yeah, no, I had him rank for it. I thought maybe there would be a discussion with whoever goes after this, but he is playing the best right now.
They're out of their mind. You know, and here's the thing about him.
A lot of it is Brian Dable. I read about the Jordan Palmer thing.
I don't know if you guys read that article. I don't know where you guys are on quarterback gurus and that sort of thing.

But, you know, he talked about fixing his mechanics.

A year one to two jump that's that incremental,

and then the third one is huge.

I mean, it's been really cool to see.

He's going to get Dabble hired, man.

Brian Dabble, as I should say, I fucked it up.

I mean, I played for him.

Coolest dude in New England, period.

Like, of all the coaches I met there, and I know you guys are thinking, thinking well it doesn't sound that cool if he's the coolest dude in New England but there are actually some cool coaches up there that dude is a dude's dude and I know that him and Josh are really tight and he's absolutely going to get a really good job off this the thing I worry about is Josh next year with people being unrealistic about the expectation when you have to switch systems but right now give me Josh Allen for the playoffs. Okay.
I like that. Good first pick.
Good first pick. All right.
My first pick, the quarterback I trust the most to win me a playoff game, Nick Foles. Nick Foles.
I knew it. He is 3-1.
I thought we were going to do it for real, Chris, for the record. I'm being serious.
I thought we were going to do this for real. Big Cat told me out of all the quarter the quarterbacks, which one would I trust? It would be Nick Foles.
He's three and one in the playoffs. Some fun stats about Nick Foles in the playoffs.
First of all, I mean, he's got, Chris, you're the biggest Nick Foles. Let's go metrics on it.
Yeah, let's go metrics on it. There's a long list of things that we could talk about with his area analytics.
It's a list that's as long as anything you can name. 26 out of 32 modern-era quarterbacks that are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Nick Foles has more playoff wins than them.
So there are only, what, only six people that have more playoff wins than Nick Foles. Nick Foles might stink in the regular season.
He definitely got Brett Favre in a few categories, doesn't he? He absolutely does. He laps them.
But there's regular season quarterbacks, and then there's playoff quarterbacks. Nick Foles might be the best playoff quarterback of all time.
Okay, Chris, for the record, I did think we're doing it straight up with the quarterbacks starting this weekend. That's fine.
I'll go. I have two picks.
I'll go Russ Wilson. I thought he—so that was the only discussion I thought at the top.
Josh Allen versus Russ just because Russ has done it. But I do agree with you, Chris, that given how Josh Allen's playing right now, I would take Josh Allen over Russ right this second.
I also like how you called him Russ Wilson. You don't hear that a lot.
Yeah, it's like saying Shaq O'Neal. Also, yeah, I would agree with you there.

I mean, like, I feel like since

that MVP run, he was trying to do a little too much.

It was like every player

is a step up into the B gap and try

to float one for the big

play. I don't trust

that team so much right now, and it's ironically

because of the offense. They've totally flipped

identities. Yeah, but I feel like

in the playoffs, like, Russ is going

to cook. Russ is going to show up.

Yeah, it's going to be a tough

Thank you. Ironically, because of the offense, they've totally flipped identities.
Yeah, but I feel like in the playoffs, like Russ is going to cook. Russ is going to show up.
Yeah, it's going to be a tough game just because they know each other so well. It's like a Traeger.
It takes a little bit to warm up, but once it warms up, there's nothing better. That's what Russ is doing.
He's on his Traeger thing right now. Green egg, whatever you want.
Let Russ grill. Not going through your entire playoffs.
Let Russ smoke. Let Russ smoke is where you're going, I think.
How difficult is it really, though, when you're playing in the playoffs? Or maybe it's just a divisional game at the end of the year. Like, we always use the cliches, you know, it's hard to beat a team three times.
These teams split, the Rams and Seahawks. But does it feel like when you play a team that you just know inside and out, it's just that much harder and it's always going to be a close game? It's funny because I feel like if you're in division, and me and Steve were talking about this, by the way.
Great call. Stanford Steve, great guest.
I know you listen to the podcast a lot, so you probably heard this. But we were talking about the fact that this is this wild card weekend.
And wild card weekend was my second favorite sports weekend in the entire year. The first one being the first weekend of March Madness I don't know where you guys sit on that but they've made it even better but the byproduct is we're going to get a lot of two week in a row games and a lot of them in division so I don't know how I feel about that I wish the NFL could figure some shit out they just move those 17 week games down to like week 14 or something say, like, you would think some coaches would hold things back week 17, knowing they might play them the next week.
But you can't really do that because everybody's trying to get in the dance. So I think it sucks for the viewer.
It makes it even worse when Jared Goff's hurt. I don't know if it makes it worse or better.
I don't know if I'd rather see Wolford. Who would you rather see? Probably Wolford.
I don't think – no offense to our friend Jared Goff because he is injured, but I don't think it matters. That's the point.
Yeah, like the way they're going to win this game, they're not going to win it by throwing the ball 50 times. No.
No, and I think Wolford gives you some – I mean, as we saw last week, hey, listen, I turned that game on last week, and the first thing I heard Romo say was like, Wolford's's really getting off to a bad start I think what he needs to do is get get hit and I was like fuck this guy must be playing awful because that's what you say when you're out of all the platitudes and that sort of thing but I mean he threw one nice ball to Robert Woods on the right sideline tucked it and ran it a couple times McVay schemed up some kind of you know design runs for him which was a. And you know what? I don't know if you guys noticed this in his interviews.
He exudes supreme confidence. He's got those dead eyes, bro.
Yeah. He was better than I thought he would be.
Maybe it was after he got hit because at the start of the game, he stunk. And I thought he was going to stink real bad.
And I was like, wow, this guy's not awful. Well, there's's a certain amount you've been around a ton of quarterbacks you can tell us if this is totally wrong but we I've always thought that uh a quarterback that doesn't fully understand that they're supposed to suck is actually dangerous yeah and that kind of what he's dangerous just any player that doesn't understand they're supposed to suck is absolutely dangerous and there's a lot of dbs like that because to play corner you have to have such supreme confidence like quarterbacks usually not that position um it is dangerous for the other team and uh you know and and uh and yourself if you if you don't know that you suck right um i will say this that game the total is sitting at like 42 and a half there.
Yeah, under. That's snack territory, but I feel like everybody's going to be on it.
Yeah, those teams, they just played slogfest. And the Seahawks, like you said, they've totally flipped.
Their defense has gotten better, and their offense has gotten significantly worse. Yeah, I don't know what to make of it.
I will say this, though. I like the Hawks, man.
I just don't see it. This isn't one of those games that you're like, okay, everybody's betting the Hawks, and I'm sure most of them are on the Hawks, but I would still hammer the Hawks this week.
And I do trust Russ. I'm not trying to heap on him, but it just hasn't been the same.
I think this is the week that that dk goes off because jalen rams he's done a pretty good job of him in their last two matchups i feel like this is this he's built up enough like hatred towards the rams where they're fine i don't know man i think i i don't know man i felt like you know um i i feel like they're one of the few teams and this is the scariest part part about DK making a playoff run. Like, the team that can actually, like, who are the elite corners that he's going to play that can really handle him down the stretch? I mean, you're going to, the league has to look at DK.
Other DBs are like, oh, shit. After the first round, there's nobody that can kind of hang with this guy.
So, especially on that side of the conference division. So, yeah, I'm all on the Seahawks.
Who's your next quarterback? All right, so my next quarterback is – so we're doing a snake draft. I mean, I'll take Brady because if you look at the list of guys after – I mean, you've got some Super Bowl winners there.
So the only thing with Brady, and you played with him, but a slightly younger version of Brady. I do have a theory that he doesn't play well at night because he goes to sleep so early.
Is that just crazy, or is there maybe a little something to it? Man, I don't know that that's crazy talk. I don't know that that's crazy talk at all.
The Bucs have been bad in prime time. Yeah, the entire team.
The B the bucks have been really bad in prime time like i know because i bet the mortgage money line against the saints uh the second game yep bro that was a rough night you know trying to do a podcast with that game on in the other room at least they put you out of your misery early like you did you had no put me be a comeback. There wasn't like, you know, I also bet Tampa when they played the Chiefs and it looked bad early and they closed the distance late.
I trust Brady. I would have took Brady right now over Russ.
Right now. I got both.
But what about Brady when he gets hit? He's the opposite of John Walford. That's what I hear.
I hear if you hit him, then you just hit him. If you hit him, he just loses.
That front four, you could even expand and say front five or six on the football team. They'll hit people.
That's what they do. They're hitter hitters.
That's what I hear. The Bucs offensive line is good, though.
And you could actually trace where they kind of got lost this season was when ali marpik got concussed and was out for a few weeks so that one little shuffle that one little shuffle throws everything off and like when you look at tom this year it's been funny because everybody's fucking you know along the way like oh tom's done tom's this tom's that because it makes for good tv and all that but at the same, like who picked them to beat the Saints in that division this year? Right. Like this, this year was the year of continuity.
This year was the year of who's been there the longest, you know, who's rolling right into it and the Saints for that team. They ended up right where we thought they'd be.
Yeah. 11 and five wild card.
And they get some people would think the best draw. But the funniest shit to me was imagining Tom's kids wearing Philadelphia Eagles gear last Sunday night, hoping that the Eagles beat him so he could see Dallas and didn't have to deal with this front.
But you got to deal with this team, and I actually like Washington as well. I know you can get them for like eight and a half there.
I got 10. Okay, there we go.
Yeah, I like the football team this weekend. All right, so that's my first and second pick.
So my second, I'm going to go, this might be controversial. I'm going to go with Big Ben.
I'm going to go with Big Ben, and it's not because I think he's good because I don't think that Big Ben's good anymore. I think he is a guy that for some reason he'll just show up on my TV in a big game like this, and he'll just figure out a way to do something weird in the fourth quarter with, like, three defenders hanging off of him, and he'll, like, throw a little fluttering pass to nobody right in the middle of the field.
One of his receivers will pick it up and run for 30 yards. Do you think that that's coming? Because I wonder if, and, like, I thought they were playing – it was like they were playing the biggest game of possum in the history of the NFL until the second half of the Colts game like all year not extending any plays oh we're not gonna get big Ben hurt well now is it time to burn the ships and we don't care if he falls apart I mean Dan I know you love the bit about you know Ben's ailments every week yeah but you know I think at this point Ben's gonna play through anything I don't care how dramatic he makes it.
Ben's going to suit up and play. So I like your idea of extending plays more.
That's what he's going to do in the playoffs. What we saw weeks 1 through 17, supposedly he went in the locker room and told Finchner, it's over, buddy.
I'm calling the plays now. You guys buying that? I like that pick, PFT, because it is the – I also like the fact that they did have essentially their best half of football against the colts and then he sat the next week for a mini buy and then you hope that you have that kind of continuity and also he's fresh right if we're talking about this weekend we love we love browns fans they own the browns big ben owns the browns they have not beat the browns have not beaten the steel beaten the Steelers in Pittsburgh for as long as Big Ben's been a Steeler.
Okay? So, like, that's just a fact. So, Big Ben in this case.
They have full custody. Yes, they do.
They have full custody. They do.
He's been, like, he's been a little timid. I saw, you can even see it on the handoffs that they were calling for Big Ben against, I think the last time that I saw really this be an issue was maybe the first half against the Colts, where he just, he doesn't run to hand the ball off.
He only calls plays where he gets the ball snapped, and then he'll turn his fat belly to the side and hand it off. I'm dead serious.
Like, go back, watch his handoffs. He is like the worst handoff quarterback.
Well, maybe the most, like, he's conserving his energyerving that's what we should rank next time we should rank worse worse than best handoff quarterbacks in the nfl i've got a list actually it's funny you say that i've got a list of the best you do it's funny uh but yeah you do give me your number one uh number one right now is um taylor haneke oh he's good at that i'm a prisoner of the moment though i just saw him play him play the other week, and he showed me a spark. Russell Wilson, great handoff quarterback.
Oh, yeah. Great handoff quarterback.
Drew Brees, great handoff quarterback. I can go on.
But with Big Ben, what he's doing is, like, he's extending his own giant play this weekend. So he is going to retire, I think, if he loses this game.
So Big Ben's essentially playing for his career. I feel like he's not going to retire i think if he loses this game so big ben's essentially playing for his career yeah i i i feel like he's just so then who makes a play does pittsburgh make a play for deshaun with that news that broke earlier that he might be asking for a trade i feel like i've the bears make a play for deshaun do over i mean they they can uh pull up their extensive scouting they did of him from four years ago where they probably't even take him out to dinner.
Yeah, I mean, Mitch Trubisky's got a higher career winning percentage than Deshaun, so I think they just stick it up. Yeah, you're right.
You're right. And he outdoed him this year.
Yeah. He's been to the playoffs two out of four years.
All right, your next pick, you have two. Okay, so let me ask you this.
Are we taking into account, is it this player in the current system? Yeah. It's everything this weekend.
Yep. Okay, everything this weekend.
I'm going to go Ryan Tannehill. I like it.
I like it. I mean, him with Arthur Smith, and this is part of, well, it's not quite Ryan that makes me nervous about hiring Arthur Smith, and I think he's done a tremendous job there, but there ain't no Derrickry anywhere else in the league right now so if you're in this hiring cycle i would be careful i would just be careful if you're looking for an offensive mind tannahill though has taken full advantage also you dudes might be able to to weigh in here but i think probably the biggest brand glow up in the nfl he was like the laughing stock bro when he was with gase yeah i hated the guy i thought he was fucking annoying i didn't know him i just judged him he's awesome he's like legitimately a top five quarterback by all the metrics and easy to root for yeah i'd agree with that i like that pick because he also he could do everything like if you're if you're talking about winning a playoff game, and that's kind of why I went Russ first,

can you beat him with your legs as well when you need to?

Because you know all these playoff games,

there'll be a moment in the fourth quarter where it's like, can the quarterback scramble for six yards when everything breaks down?

Tannehill definitely can.

And I'm like you, Chris.

I look at Tannehill and I still think,

there's a part of my brain that still remembers him on the Dolphins. I'm like, this guy cannot win.
Like, we're always going to be waiting for him to take the next step. But I still haven't fully caught up to the fact that he has taken the next step and we're watching the next step and he's actually really good and it's not a fluke.
But, yeah, he's good. The confirmation bias.
The confirmation bias is huge. For him to overcome confirmation bias from Miami, like, he is balling, balling dude yeah i mean because because that's one of the biggest things nfl fans can't they can't handle when a player changes teams and improves they can't get it out of their head the last contract they were on or the last destination and it's funny like now we're doing this whole thing everybody that leaves new york we say oh look at him now he's escaped adam gaze keep it in mind with with sam darnold you know like it applies to sam too so um you know we'll see what happens there i think that game's gonna be fucking fantastic probably best game of the weekend yes are you're you're you have another pick um probably whoo oh in the system he's in i mean i anybody snagged drew breeze yet i know i know it's i know the ball i was gonna take taysom actually washed you were gonna take taysom yeah i love the taysom hill system it's like run directly into this linebacker's face i'll do it again i drop drop to nine drift to 11 and to the left and hit mike thomas on a crosser he's wide oh yeah is there now chris don't give away too much here uh because i don't want you to get in trouble but is there a drug that the training staffs can shoot you up with where you're like hey i'm retiring in three weeks can you just make me 10 years younger real quick i don't think so but i i don't i think there's probably more dudes on on stuff in the league than you think ohline grab.
I know that's probably going to be the social. What percentage of dudes are on stuff? No idea because it's so clandestine.
I've never seen it, but I know some people are on. I know.
I know some guys coming back from some injuries, some guys playing deep into their careers at a really high level, and, like, dudes get popped. You know, and Tom Brady's on the juice.
You said it, not me. A follow-up question to PFT's question, how many dudes are on the stuff, how many different things are the dudes doing? I think probably an endless amount.
I mean, I can't even – it's vitamin C glucosamine for me. So like, you're talking to the wrong fucking guy.
I don't know. I don't know Dick about, you know, some of the things that I, I would say probably five to seven different types of things.
All right. Do dudes, do dudes share stuff or is it like every dude for themselves? I hope not i would i would hope that maybe before the pandemic people were sharing needles which was not a good idea but afterwards i think we should all get to a point where we don't share any more needles uh yeah vitamin vitamin c are you talking about you're talking about chiba for yourself right chiba i like this vitamin chib how covid made the nfl safer because now we're not sharing our steroids.
Exactly. You're on to something.
Give us one quote. Percentage of dudes on stuff.
Oh man, I really don't know honestly and I don't want to go down that road to be honest. The quote is literally going to say 40% of dudes are on stuff.
Chris Long. Stuff could mean anything.
Stuff could mean protein. Oh, yeah, 20, 21%.
21% of NFL dudes are on stuff. I like breaking news.
Yeah, just stuff. Just stuff.
Am I up? Yeah, you're up. Okay.
My last pick. No, we're coming back around.
Oh, got lost on the snake. I'm out of practice with snake drafts.
I'm going to go I'm going to go with Baker. I'm going to go with Baker.
Now I know he doesn't have much of a system. His system this weekend is hope that he has wide receivers and a coach that he speaks the same language as.
It's not going to be Stefanski in his ear. I think he's good enough.
He's been playing good enough. He's got his team into a rhythm.
They seem like they've been having fun. And it's weird to say, but Baker is better without Odell Beckham.
He's figuring out a way to do it with an offense that is missing like what was supposed to be his key target. He's got a rhythm going.
And so I feel like Baker would be next on yeah it was never about it was never about what was around him away it was about how are you utilizing him are you moving the pocket are you making things manageable for him and i think kevin was the most under the radar great hire they looked at kevin stavansky like he's so young he's just because he kind of looks young even though he has gray hair which is a weird thing but like fucking guy was in minnesota longer than longer than Mike Zimmer. The guy had been there forever and was a big part of what they did.
And you talk about repurposing Kirk Cousins and making him look good and teaching him stuff about the rollouts and that sort of thing, play action. Bakes been pretty good.
I got to hand it to him. And it makes the commercials even better because I think he's a great actor.
Well, that's my biggest red flag, actually, about Baker. good like really you look back at the great quarterbacks and like you know peyton manning was a great actor too and he didn't win a super bowl until he was like 55 oj simpson was a great actor yeah exactly that's a big that's not good no uh how much does it actually uh matter that kevin's fancy he's not going to be able to call plays like i do think i do think it matters but you the funny thing, Dan, is this year you look at it when the news broke.
I think it was like Tuesday, right? Okay, the biggest prep day in the NFL is Wednesday. They've been doing things exactly like they did it this week all year long, Zoom meetings.
I mean, that's been the thing. So I think that from a Monday through Saturday, they're fine.
But on Sunday, there is an adjustment. You can script, and Orlovsky hit this, and Orlovsky's my guy.
He hit this after he was done crying in his pillow about tanking this week. He gathered himself and shot off this tweet that I thought was very insightful.
It was that Van Pelt's going to call the plays in the first quarter and have no trouble because it's scripted out. But two through four is where things start to rely on instinct, experience, and it's more of a crapshoot.
So I think early on they really need to build a lead, to be honest, in my opinion, because it's going to be kind of a shit show the last three quarters, or it could be. Now, as far as throwing challenge flags and that sort of thing they're gonna have the the head coach you know in effect the the special teams coach is gonna do the the clock shit and etc there should be a clock coach i i agree with that i think that every single team in the nfl unless your head coach is like i don't know a numbers guy and uh has played a shitload of madden you need to have a guy whose only job is to manage situationally.
Like how many timeouts do we have? What does the clock say? What's the down and distance? And just handle all that shit on his own. And most guys have a guy, right? Like they kind of have a guy, but it depends on how much of it the coach trusts, like with other people, I feel like.
And some coaches try to do everything themselves. I would ask you this.
I know it's probably illegal to send in communications into the into the stadium for kevin's fancy how would you guys crack the code on getting a play call in to van pelt say in the second quarter uh smoke signals beeper thank we just have chris long just hitting a bong outside the stadium yep with a with a blanket on top of it bongs dude you guys smoke bong pussy you don't guys smoke bongs? Pussy. You don't? No.
Without a gravity bong?

No, definitely not.

I'm not 22 anymore.

Right.

I'm like, isn't that a kid thing, kind of?

I'm going to smoke a bong if I'm ready to be high for the next week.

Well, not just that.

You've got to have the black light posters and such,

and you've got to be real heady to do that.

If you have a bong, you have a ton of paraphernalia.

Yeah.

No, I'm actually more of an edible guy, so I'll make my own.

I don't know if she got high and she was like thank you so much drug dealer i'm a drug dealer my mom wait wait have you checked on your 60 year old neighbor yeah she's great she made me lunch she over a paper-bagged lunch the other day to say thank you. So not only did you risk her having a massive panic attack four hours after you left, but also you could have given her COVID.
What if she was like, I'm going to be a fatty today and just ate like four? No, I told her, like, be very careful. She told me.
She was like, I have some brownies if you'd like some. And she was like, thank you for offering.

That's so nice of you.

My plans tonight are just to kick back and watch The Last Waltz. Freak out.

How much should I eat?

And I was like, if you're watching The Last Waltz,

eat like a penny-sized part of this brownie.

And do a lot of Coke.

And just enjoy.

And she was like, it was a great experience.

I had the time of my life. Thank you.
If you ever make me over, I'm over. There we go.
I'm team edible, too. Yeah, team edible now.
All right. I think it's my pick.
No, to answer your question, actually, Chris Long, I would cheat. I would just cheat if I were the Browns.
Yes. I would count on the fact that the NFL would not be searching my coach's pockets for cell phones.
Or like an Apple Watch. Just wear like an Apple watch that shows the messages come up.
And to be honest, the NFL should let the Browns cheat in this. Absolutely.
The NFL should let the Browns cheat for all the differences. Like this is unprecedented.
This is a playoff game. You're this could be a cash cow for you.
You want Cleveland in the playoffs. Cleveland playoffs is good for the NFL, man.
Yeah, I agree. So find out where the cellar door is in baker's house and sneak that fucker in the bottom and you know send up uh i don't know like uh some sort of hidden message yes uh all right i have my last two can't believe he's lasted i'm the one who calls him a fraud but i guess i'm the biggest fan now lamar how about lamar i wanted to get lamar late still hasn't won a playoff game i do think he's gonna win on sunday so i think you'll get that monkey off his back i like the biggest fan now.
Lamar. How about Lamar? I wanted to get Lamar late.
Still hasn't won a playoff game.

I do think he's going to win on Sunday,

so I think you'll get that monkey off his back.

Ooh, I like the Titans.

Ooh, you do?

Okay.

All right.

They're so bad defensively.

I know everyone's mad at this.

I know they are, but where are they bad?

This is the best matchup for them.

Like, literally, Baltimore doesn't do the things

that would challenge them. Not to get through football.
Here is is where they are bad and this is where it would hurt is that they have the worst third down defense in the league and you're going up against a team in Baltimore that has no problem going forward on fourth as well so I think that makes it even worse and they've been bad against the Titans in short yardage and in the red zone the playoffs last year lamar had 500 yards of offense they come up with 12 points yep played poorly yeah a lot of drops the revenge game this year you know like we keep talking about revenge game they had their chance week 11 and tennessee played bad yeah tennessee played bad dude it's so if you remember the way that game ended i mean they they finished the game bullying the bees and that's the whole thing. Can you imagine if Baltimore loses this game, people are going to be saying fraud loudly.
Yeah, but on the other hand... About the team.
On the other hand, it's like the Ravens don't have the expectations that they had last year. And so to be a true fraud, you have to be league MVP and then peter out in the playoffs.
And then you have to have this narrative that gets built around you of you're very good in the regular season, but you stink in the playoffs. This year, Lamar wasn't – I mean, he was good, but he wasn't world-beating in the regular season.
He didn't have an MVP season. It's funny because the team is – if you're a defensive player, you're dreading playing them.
Because you think Pittsburgh wants to play them again? No, dude beat them with RG3 by the way next to Ryan Tannehill another great brand reversal yeah yeah he's great now who's who's who's rebranded themselves better than RG3 and it's been as he's gotten worse as a player the brand's gotten better yeah and for Tannehill it's the opposite he's the backup quarterback that I like to see come in the most just because you honestly have no idea what's going to happen. Anything could happen.
No idea. There's no predictability at all when RG3 is in the game, good or bad.
None. My last pick, you know what? Fuck it.
I'll just go with Mitch. I don't.
I'll go with Mitch. Fuck it.
Because Goff's finger or thumb is hurt, so we don't know if he's going to play. I do not trust Philip Rivers outside.
I'll go with Mitch. He might be in the category, Chris, of what we just talked about.
Like, you know, I'm not supposed to win this game. You know, no one expects anything out of me here.
I might just win this game. Well, who got better the most since they played each other? I mean, it was during the Nick Foles hot and cold streak, which is like the life watching nick foals like it's gonna be really hot some days not gonna be so good some other days but like i feel like the bears have figured some things out late and they're kind of in the same category as the ravens and i'm not comparing the two teams don't get me wrong don't take me out of context here you probably will just because i said that but the the bears have played nobody and got propped up because there's this second coming of mitch and by the way you bears fans i love you guys there's a thin line between the bears are back and the guy cussing out cory parky walking out of the stadium you guys emotionally are just so up and down well don't jump out of the gym here because the offensive production against the teams he had production against late in the year are you going to resign him Dan no probably not and I don't think they should but to explain it I want I want the Bears to be good so badly but I also know that they're not so it's like one of those situations where if they have a good play I'm like the Bears are back but really deep down I know I'm fooling myself and it's just an inevitable heartbreak waiting to happen it's like like being an older player in the NFL.
Yeah. You think you can will yourself to be good.
You just can't. You're old.
Right. If I tweeted enough, maybe it will happen.
It has not happened. Yeah.
All right. Your last pick, PFT.
My last pick, I mean, I have to take. I got to go with the combination of Alex Smith and Taylor Heineke.
We don't know who's going to be playing, but there was some rumor that got put out there yesterday that they're going to A-B him. They're going to rotate Taylor Heineke and Alex Smith, which I feel like is a smart move because the defense isn't going to know, do we prepare for the show-stopping athleticism of Alex Smith or the Taylor Heineke-ness of Taylor Heineke? It's a nightmare.
Defense coordinators are going to be staying up at night trying to figure that one out. I think they already are.
Yep. They're reading the same stuff.
I think they're reading the same stuff. They haven't slept all week.
Cold sweats. So I got a pick now? Yeah, you got your last pick.
You know what I hate? And did we do this on purpose? You know, I wanted to take Phillip Rivers a lot earlier. I really did.
It's just... Goff's not getting picked now, though.
Well, no, it's John Wolford. Hank's number one pick will be Jared Goff.
Yes. So we'll have Hank Goff to the side.
But we don't know if he's playing. And also you can blame PFT because he picked a backup with his first pick.
It's Nick fucking Foles. There's 12 guys who beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
Did you guys see the... quarterback for the Cardinals had a sleeve tattoo? Yeah, he was something else.
Strievler? Don't see that a lot. Did he have a visor too? Yeah, he looked like an Aussie punter who they threw in there to be like, here, I'm trying to play quarterback.
You're just thinking about the Miami guy. Yeah, who's awesome.
The Miami punter who's like 32. He's like, this guy is killing it down there.
Chris, is there some truth to our theory that quarterbacks with visors can't win Super Bowls? All right, so I know there's a catch here. Who had a visor? No, there's not.
It's never happened. People try to prove us wrong because Jim McMahon wore a visor later on in his career with the Chargers.
Okay, well, Nick Foles won one for your team as well. He wore one.
He didn't win one with your team, but he wore a visor. If you didn't catch that, dark visor.
Nick Foles is the guy who gave you all that full soap. He took it off.
He took it off. That was the whole problem.
Yeah, he took it off and beat the Falcons. Because the only quarterback that's played, I think Big Ben played in a Super Bowl with a visor, but they lost that one.
Cam might have too. Yeah, but Cam lost.
The Green Bay in 2010. No, there are a few quarterbacks that have played in Super Bowls and lost wearing visors, but you never win a Super Bowl with a visor.
Just think about it. Think about it.
I am thinking about it, and I think you guys got a good point. I do have one last question for you.
So do you regret back in, what was it, 2017, we had you on the show when you announced that you weren't going to go to the White House. That was a weird thing for you to say uh do you regret not going to the white house so you couldn't say to donald trump hey if you ever don't get elected then you should peacefully transition out of power like i feel like that's a lot on you chris because you you had that moment to impact future policy and you passed i could have disavow yourself i was told by a lot of people that i should have that i should have took the meeting yeah yeah yes you regret not taking that change policy it could have been me it could have been me and worse you get a big mac free big mac would have been great would have been great those who was it clemson yes uh that those guys looked really happy to be getting there i would have loved that yeah that.
If I showed up in a room and there was four different types of fast food, just endless supply, I would have been like, this fucking rules. What about after COVID? Are you just a table full of hamburgers with condiments on them just sitting out there for an undetermined amount of time you're eating them? I don't like room burgers because I feel like anything that you leave out, food in general, if you leave out uncovered, it just takes on the taste of the room.
But if it's in the cardboard box still, like if it's a quarter pounder. Taste of the room, huh? Yeah.
If it's been out in like a box for five hours but still inside that quarter pounder cardboard box, I'll still eat that. Absolutely.
No problem. No problem.
You know what? On a serious note, though, when we did that, you bad because i because it actually blew up that i wasn't going to the white house before the game and i was just getting crushed for the entire game yep yep you guys should feel bad about we did uh you're a good friend everyone go download the green room podcast it's green light green light oh yeah fuck yeah i want to say green no you said green light to start you guys had Matthew McConaughey on his books called Green Light. Oh, yeah.
Fuck. Yeah.
Matthew McConaughey. Did I say green room at the start? No, you said green light to start.
You guys had Matthew McConaughey on. His book's called Green Light.
He ripped our pot off. Yes, he did.
Straight up. Totally.
Straight up. Totally.
All right, Chris. Thanks, bro.
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and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on recurring guest good friend of the program it is coach jeff fisher uh we wanted to have him on talk a little football maybe talk about his return to twitter maybe talk about his return to football coach uh let's let's do the the small talk first. What's the biggest fish that you have caught in the last four months? Oh, boy.
Well, let's see. I slammed.
The Mexican Grand Slam is a permanent, a tarpon, and a bonefish in the same day. I did that right after, you know, the area Ascension Bay opened down in Mexico.
And then I stuck about a 20-pound steelhead in Alaska right about the 1st of October, first or second week of October. So that would probably be the biggest one.
Got to put the rod up since. It gets cold up there, man.
Fish to go to sleep, they hibernate. I haven't been doing much yet.
But that was, yeah, thanks for asking. Yeah, we still got to get you and Hank going hand fishing at some point soon.
That's going to be like the ultimate outdoor scene. Yeah, ice fishing.
How about ice fishing? Let's just stand out there and freeze your ass off. So when you go ice fishing, though,

the most important part is you just sit in a shed drinking beer all day, right?

Hey, Dan, let me tell you.

Remember Mark Bortz, guard, Iowa, 85 Bears?

He was a starting guard when we were playing after the season was over.

He went up in Wisconsin someplace ice fishing.

He fell through the ice, ice fishing. Pulls himself out somehow and keeps fishing.
That's a football guy. That's a football guy.
That's a football guy. That's a defensive lineman converted to guard for you.
Yes, yes. All right, so we got playoffs coming up.
Let's talk playoffs, and then we're going to talk about what you got cooking. But the big picture, do you have like an AFC, NFC team maybe that you have your eye on? You're like, ooh, they're playing some good ball.
I kind of like the way they're playing coming down the stretch here going into the playoffs. Yeah, I mean, COVID aside, I mean, everything's so different right now there's no home

field advantages you know I mean the week off for the two teams is going to be a little different and that you're going to be concerned that someone's going to go out and and go into the protocol but COVID aside we have to talk about what happened last weekend 650 yards rushing between the Ravens offense and the Titans offense last weekend. That's unheard of.
So this is going to be, I think it's going to be a great matchup, Ravens-Titans at Tennessee. You got Derrick Henry just trying to keep the playing keep away from them and there's no telling what Lamar's going to do.
So I think that's a great one to watch. And obviously, you know, I've done some things early in the week, you know, talking about the matchup.
I mean, there's been 25 matchups and then the Titans lead the series 13 to 12 or something like that. But, you know, this is the third time they're going to play in the calendar year.
And for a team to beat another team three times in the calendar year i don't know if that's been done since we beat jacksonville back in 99 but uh i think that's a great game to watch uh you know the other thing is just a quarterback play i think that's gonna it's gonna come down to it i mean the bears are gonna be you know it's gonna be rough go when you know you've got um you know mitchell you know team it up against Drew. I think that's going to be a difficult task for the Bears, but I think there's great games all over.
And teams have played themselves recently. I mean, you've got the Rams going to Seattle.
They played a couple weeks ago. And then Cleveland at Pittsburgh.
I mean, they know each other. So a lot of good things to watch.
But I think that Titansans ravens game is is going to be a real interesting game to watch and and again it's hard to you know it's hard to pick anybody other than the two teams that are watching this weekend and that's you know that's kansas city and green bay the way those two quarterbacks were playing i mean you got to give them the you know the best chance i think yeah so with the titans and the ravens and the rams and the Rams and the Seahawks, you could say that those are two franchises that Jeff Fisher personally turned around, that he engineered, and now they're very successful teams in each conference. Your fingerprints are all over the roster.
So if you were still coaching the Rams, how would you go about engineering this weekend's victory against the Seahawks? Well, I do the same thing Sean's doing right now. It's not tip a hat on who's going to play quarterback.
Not that it really matters up there, but I mean, it does. I mean, obviously you want a healthy Jared Goff, but, you know, Jared being able to throw the football practices are closed, you know, thumb surgery and all that stuff.
You know, you got to question, you know, his accuracy. And one's going to assume he's going to be in shotgun an awful lot.
But, you know, it just remains to be seen. If he can't play, then Wolford's going to go.
And, you know, it was an admirable effort, you know, last week and, you know, in the way he played. And they found a way to beat Arizona.
So, you know, you've got the great matchups there with Ramsey and the big receiver and all kinds of stuff. But, you know, Russell is a tough guy to beat up there, especially in the playoffs.
So, you know, I don't know what you tell the Rams other than, you know, find a way to run it and keep Russell off the field. You mentioned, you know, playing a team three times in a season.
What about playing teams back-to back to back weekends I'm looking at the Steelers Browns so the Browns going into week 17 they knew they had to win so I don't think they left a whole lot in the tank they probably just tried to win that game any way they could the Steelers well yeah yeah I mean speaking of speaking of leaving things I mean Pittsburgh left half their team. Right.
You know, right. And they didn't.
And so, you know, I mean, that's good. I mean, you get the guys get a chance to rest.
I'd like Cleveland right now, the way they're playing. I mean, they're running the football.
The back is a beast. I mean, no one gets a lot of attention.
And, you know, I mean, I think the quarterback is going to have a big game for for him he's he's ready he's so full you can tell he's just really focused and so I mean I think that's gonna be it's gonna be a tough go for Pittsburgh you know Ben's had a week off he's banged up you know they're not using any play action at all in their offense and you know it's quick drop back and run, you know, this could be a defensive game. Somebody can make a big play on defense to push them through and put the next step in the playoffs.
But, you know, they know each other. Everybody in the division knows each other right now.
So, you know, now Cleveland didn't hold back. I mean, they did everything they could to get in the playoffs last week.
But, you know, they changed game plans. There's a, you know, when you've got a playlist, you know, when you're an offensive play caller and you've got your call sheet and the game's over, you've gone through half of it.
And you typically go, gosh, I wish I'd have done that or I wish I'd have done this off the call sheet in retrospect. Well, they got a chance to do those things that, you know, they didn't dial up last week.
Where do you stand on the rest versus rust argument so obviously the the Steelers they're more the rest and uh but is there a possibility that like you give an older guy too long off and he gets too sore he kind of loses the feel for the game are you of the mindset like when you were coaching would you try to you know would you look down on resting players in week 16, 17?

Is it more of like let's keep these guys going

so they have a rhythm getting into the playoffs?

Yeah, I mean I think you've got to look at them individually.

Now, I mean you could say that Ben doesn't need to work,

but I think a lot of – the players need work.

I mean I think the rest thing is overrated.

And I point this out to you.

You know in a normal situation, a normal season, when a team has a in-season bye week for example and they they come off and they play the next week the statistics whatever they are I mean at one point they're I mean it's hard to get going again after that week off so you know good teams have tendencies to struggle after after the bye week and, you know, some teams, I mean, the numbers are there. The point is that, you know, personally, I'd rather just play.
Just go play. If somebody needs the time off, then give them the time off.
You're going to get a couple guys back because of injuries. But, you know, beyond that, you guys need – they need to stay.
They're banged up. They're not putting pads on practice.
If they are, they're not hitting. And guys just need to focus on the kickoff.
And so I think, you know, waiting two weeks is difficult. I mean, this came up early in the week.
I mean, we had a week off in the number one seat against Baltimore in 2000. And, you know, we lost.
And that was a better team than we had in 99 in the Super Bowl. You're here in Tennessee.
You know, They didn't get but five first downs in the game. We blocked two punts, and they went sideways out of bounds, and the ball bounces off Eddie George's shoulder.
Ray Lewis runs it back for a touchdown, and we're standing there looking around going, what happened? We had the week off, and I don't think we benefited from it at all. Coach, I know I've talked to you privately, but it's coach hiring season right now.
There's some openings out there. Do you want to get back into it? I mean, I assume you want to get back into it.
And are you also thinking maybe like, I don't know, front office, putting together a roster? Like I know that you love football, so I want to see you get back into football in some capacity. Where is that at right now? Well, Dan, I appreciate it.
I mean, I've, you know, I've been fishing, but I've also been paying, you know, close attention to what's going on and, and I've watched the hire since, since I got let go in LA and, you know, there's obvious trends there. And, and yeah, I have an interest.
I feel good. I know what's going on.
I got a staff ready to go. And, you know, it's just a matter of fitting in the right place at the right time.
And, you know, if the National Football League and those people making the decisions think that, yeah, I had a good run and my time's up, then, yeah, I'll definitely consider something along those lines. I mean, you and I talked, I think, you know, there's no substitute for experience, as you can, you know, you can make the argument.
I mean, the things that I've gone through over the last, over the 20 years as a head coach, you know, they're unmatched, whether it's social injustice or diversity, you name it. You know, young coaches are going to come in the league right now and they're players, and they're all excited because they get the call plays and put a roster together.
And after two years, I guarantee you ask them, did you ever imagine to have these things come up, the non-football or the non-football-associated things, the off the field, or these issues or those issues? And they can't comprehend the things that have come up. I've been through all that stuff.
And, you know, as you said earlier, we put together, you know, over our careers with a lot of help. I had a lot of help, but we built two pretty good franchises that, you know, that we took over.
They were both 2 and 14. And, you know, as we discussed, I mean, I, you know, I coached two teams in five different cities and six different stadiums and moved two of them.
And, you know, it's all about having a quarterback. And you go someplace that's got a quarterback or you go someplace that doesn't and you can build a program.
And the key to building programs nowadays is being able to sustain it and understand, you know, how to build a roster and how to maintain the roster and how to project several years in the future as far as putting those pieces together. So, yeah, I feel like I'm not detached at all.
I've been in it. And, you know, to be honest with you, I've dabbled a little bit in the college game as well.
I mean, I've talked to several programs over the last couple years. It wasn't right, but, you know, I understand that side of it.
And as pro coaches are going to college, you've got college coaches coming to the NFL because they're, you know, they're a little leery of what the future holds with respect to the transfer portal and things like that. So, you know, all options are open to me right now.
You know, if it happens, I'll be forever grateful. If it doesn't, then, you know, I still have some cool things ahead of me to do.
Yeah. What about another franchise that's moved recently? San Diego to Los Angeles.
The Chargers. Maybe get you and Greg Williams back together.
Dr. Heat.
Get the old band back together. Coach out in L.A.
again. You got.
Before that happens, I got to sit down and have a long talk about Greg's philosophy at the end of the game. No, I wouldn't let him do that had he been working for me.
I'll kid around a little bit, but there's reasons that Sam Darnold has not gotten off to his start.

And, you know, and Greg knows this because I've been critical of Greg about this

and that, you know, the things that Sam sees on the practice field from Greg Williams will set a quarterback back years.

And so Greg and I need to have a little sit down before we reunite if that happens,

especially that last play.

Now, in Greg's defense, Greg's smarter than everybody else because Greg was thinking, I want to ensure that the Jets have the number one pick in the draft. That's why I'll freaking bring the house and let Carr check to a seven-man protection, slide protection, throw a double move for the winning touchdown.
So Greg and I have some things to work out before we get back to work together. But by the way, San Diego, that's a hard call for Anthony Lynn, man.
He's an outstanding coach, an outstanding man, and I thought he did a good job. And historically, what he's done with that young quarterback, that is a very, very attractive job right now.
Yeah. So wait, Greg Williams, let's go back to that real quick.
So when you were coaching and he was defensive coordinator, would he constantly be like, Coach, I'm bringing heat. Like I want to bring the heat.
I want to bring the heat. And you're like, hey, settle down a little bit.
Are you talking about in that situation? No, just in general. Like is he always bringing the heat? You can't stop him from bringing the heat? Well like hey settle down a little are you talking about in that in that situation no just in general like is he always bringing the heat did you ever want to check yeah can't stop him well no what greg would yeah greg likes to pressure people yeah and that's fine but there's a time to pressure him and time not always no it's all it's all about managing games and you know if philosophically you know the play call, the offensive coordinators and the defensive coordinators, if they're also head coaches, sometimes guys see, you talk about all the time, sometimes you see, well, what was he thinking there at the end of the game? well, he's probably thinking what's going to be my next play call rather than managing the game and, and as a provide information to your,

your play callers well in advance at the end of the half and at the end of

the game so that they don't, things don't come as a surprise to them.

So it's a complicated process, the play calling thing, managing games.

But the point is, is, you know,

there's only one thing that's going to get you beat on the last play of the

game. And that's putting yourselves in this situation.
And, you know, as, as John Gruden said,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know,

you know, you know, you know, you And, you know, as John Gruden said, he didn't say, but I know he was thinking, Carr smelled a rat. He saw it.
He made the perfect adjustment, and they made the play. And they don't make that play if, you know, you're in a different – you're in a different configuration defensively.
Now, the thing that I also want to point out in everyone's defense and and and look what happened last weekend with the titans and and the texans at the end of the game i mean there's no way they win that game all of a sudden a ball's in the air there's a complete pass bang it's a 57 yard field goal and they win the division well you know you you ask yourself what are they doing that in that coverage well it's covet you don't even know who's practicing the defensive scheme, who's gone through the situational walkthroughs and not. And play callers are, to a certain extent, limited in what they're doing.
So, you know, there's a lot of reasons for it. But sitting back and watching it, one would say, that's not right.
But, you know, I'll give people credit. They got – you know, they're smarter than some of the decisions we're seeing made during game time, but a lot of that has to do with COVID and who you're working with and the circumstances you're dealing with.
Alternate, he's Dr. Heat, so he's just going to bring the heat, which you've got to respect that.
Greg Williams, he brings the heat. Yeah, you like you like it i mean everybody likes seeing the quarterback go down really fast and your punt return team come on the field that's a good part that's good defense but it doesn't always work that way you know when you bring when you bring six and someone's blocking with seven you know you don't need to bring six so um you know you need to get out and play coverage and that's basic defense but again greg and i are friends and he knows i'd say the same thing to his face yeah how would how would that work like when you were when you were the head coach and he'd be a defense coordinator would he just get in your heads and be like we need to dial something up yeah bring or would it be the other way where you'd say greg can you dial something up for us What do you got in that heat bag? Well, I mean, yeah.
I mean, as a head coach, basically my philosophy was never interrupt an offensive play caller. Let them call the drive.
Make suggestions when the offense is off the field. Defensively, yeah, as a head coach, I'm going to say to my defensive coordinator no no no no play coverage here or slow things down or it's okay if they score a touchdown as long as it takes them three minutes to score a touchdown you know we're not gonna lose the game it's about winning the game the winning the game becomes more important sometimes than winning the drive or the immediacy of the play call.
And sometimes people lose perspective on that. They just get all caught up in the statistics and the game planning and, hey, this is the right call here and there.
And so, no. And again, I had to go into too much detail about it, but a lot of that stuff has been done in training camp in the offseason and training camp during practice rehearsed on saturday everybody should know what the situation is and i'm talking about situational football and and rehearse that stuff and feel comfortable about about what you're going to do for example if it's fourth and goal from the 15 yard line last play of the game you got to play that your offense knows that we've practiced all year that's our best chance to get the ball in the end zone and they go oh yeah we don't remember that one all right we know what to do and so there's a confidence factor involved in that it's just it's just kind of basic play calling but um yeah as far as greg's concerned he's had a great career and he'll get back he'll be back and um you Again, I mean, from Greg's standpoint, he was just trying to get the guys around the corner from you guys that first pick in the draft.
Yeah, yeah. That was all he was doing.
I want to go back to something that you said earlier. Brilliant.
It's fascinating, and I haven't really thought about it from that perspective, but sometimes a defensive coordinator can actually limit the effectiveness and the growth of a young quarterback on that same team based on what they see in practice so from your perspective if you've got a young quarterback what kinds of defenses are you telling your coach not to run in practice like what are some things that will set him back that's a great question I'll give you an example was when we had Jared Goff you know, my last year with the Rams was Jared's rookie year. Well, Jared came to us from Cal, and Jared had never really called a play before.
I mean, everybody looks to the sideline, and it's on a card, and he calls the snap count, and they go. So Jared had a lot of work to do, and there's a progression with respect to developing quarterbacks.
And so, you know, if you put Jared Goff out there against your number one defense in an OTA or even to start a training camp, and he's got all this stuff going around, he's not going to be successful. He's just confused.
I mean, you remember when Sam Donald said I was seeing ghosts? You know, you remember that. Okay, well, part of that, that's part of the process.

And I'm not blaming me to be blaming on Greg,

but, you know, there needs to be a progression.

He needs to see one high or two high,

and then you just take your time and progress into that.

Now, if Greg Williams, which he was at New Orleans

when they won the Super Bowl,

and they go out to start train camp or OTAs

or whatever first day of practice,

Drew Brees is going, bring it on, right? Drew's seen everything. But there's a difference between Drew Brees in his 10th or 12th year and a Jared Goff in his first.
You can't bring a young quarterback on with all that stuff going on. And so, no, I didn't allow that to happen when Jared was there and when I was there with Greg.
No, Greg knew exactly what he was going to show Jared. He knew when Jared was going to be under center on the practice field.
I'm not saying that that happened that way in New York, but I'd say it probably didn't based on the fact that Sam Darnold has not been developed yet. Yeah.
All right, so, Coach, I want you to get back into a job. It's great to hear that you're ready for it.
I had one last question. You're back on Twitter.
Is that you fully tweeting? That's fully you tweeting. No one else tweeting.
That's me. I took a break.
You know, I went through a life experience. I lost my father back in October, and I just kind of backed out of everything.
So, you know, it was a highly emotional time. And it was a difficult time.
But it's that, you know, it's that cycle, the circle of life that you go through. And I went through that.
So I just backed out. And I just felt like yesterday, I'm kind of looking around going, yesterday was so crazy.
And it was just time to reach back out and say, Hey, you know, if I can touch somebody's life on Twitter, I'm going to, uh, mine was certainly touched personally and I'm blessed with grandkids and a lot of good things in my life. And so I'm back.
I love it. I said, I'm back.
Watch out. It's good to have you back.
You're the, uh, the gift King of Twitter. Yes.
You're the gift that keeps on giffing. Yes.
Uh, are the best i appreciate the opportunity to come on and and have a blast i understand you had this chance to talk to chris long who also is one of my all-time favorites so um yeah you guys are the best take care of that little man thank you thank you coach really appreciate it and we'll talk soon all right okay thanks a lot hey what's going on We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after me. Not a big deal.
Pink Whitney? That's what I thought. See ya, fellas.
I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.
Shop now. We've got Washington football team, division champions of the NFC Beast.

It's just a muscular football, flexing on the haters,

celebrating that NFC East title.

We've got all sorts of football stuff for sale,

all sorts of Part of My Take stuff.

Eventually we'll get those hats back in store,

the one that Hank's wearing right now, the Part of My Take script hat.

Those were hot sellers.

We've got all kinds of stuff in there.

Check it out, store.barsfillsports.com. now i just realized something that we have powers now well we've always had powers but we have extra powers sean watson saying he wants to get traded we talked about this on wednesday that if the sean watson gets traded matt shop has all the records yeah yeah it's great for me to have yeah we need this to happen.
He stays as the passing king of Houston, Texas.

Yeah, he should be a Texans Hall of Famer at least.

And then once you get that, you just go right up.

Can you imagine what Bill O'Brien would have tried to trade him for?

Let's just swap first round.

There's no shock if Texans have a Hall of Fame.

Three, six.

Well, he'd be the first.

Yeah.

He'd be the inaugural.

Three, six rounders.

He would probably trade.

He would trade himself along with Deshaun Watson. a first-round pick.
Des Bryant. It would be actually great to see Bill O'Brien pick one thing you want from every team in the NFL, and then at the end be like, guess what? That's what you get.
And it's like, wait, but he didn't get anything. I bet GM Bill O'Brien would have hired Coach Josh McDaniels, and then GM would have traded Sean Watson to the Patriots for a backup tight end.
And by the way, I think we called this like five, six months ago. Bill Belichick's year this year, having the Patriots not be competitive, it's actually done a great job of having Josh McDaniels not get hired away from him this off season.
Yes.

So,

so Josh is going to be staying up in new England during the rebuild when he

could have had,

you know,

any opportunity to leave had they been competent this year.

Agreed.

Good job,

coach.

Good job.

All right.

Let's,

let's do fire fest of the week.

Let's finish with fire fest of the week,

fire fest of the week,

Hank fire fest of the week, Billy. No.
Oh yeah. Billy, go ahead.
You start. Billy, you start.
Firefest of the week. Billy has a hilarious firefest.
He's got a really good one he's been thinking of. I would just like to preface this by preface it.
Yeah, it's actually more potent than regular face. Right.
I do not... Anyway, so they thought I was the fucking shaman dude from Washington, D.C.
on Twitch last night because my Twitch logo is a dude with a bear skin on him. It looks exactly like him.
It's a bear skin, not a bison skin. How'd you find that? Well, berserkers used to wear bear skins because it was sick.
And this guy with a bison skin fucking raided the Capitol and shit, which I condemn entirely. Oh, disavow.
I disavow it. What have you donated blood first? I actually, I do think we need to do just a quick refresher, like when you have to get your registration updated for driving your car, we should just do a quick disavow of Nazis refresher.
Yes, so we are the first anti-Nazi podcast. Update our membership.
We do not like Nazis. I'd like to upgrade that a little bit.
Oh. I think that we should be the first anti-treason podcast.
Okay, also that. Anti-Nazi anti-treason podcast.
Billy's thinking, well, what if I want to do a little treason? I will say, just a touch like what if i what if i have a crazy weekend feeling a little treasonous i'll be completely honest with you the rush that you must feel after like storming through the capital and you're like driving home listening to the radio the post-coup rush you that's probably got to be a top three drive home yeah you're pounding your steering wheel you're blasting thin lizzie you're crossing're crossing the key bridge. Yeah.
Don't do it. Disavow.
Disavow treason. Your avatar on Twitch looks like one of the guys.
He doesn't have a bear skin. It's a bison skin.
And you lost how many Twitch followers? I like I lost a bunch of followers. 300? Well they thought

I don't have that many Twitch followers but

they thought I was like supporting it

and I was like no like what the fuck's going on?

No Billy made that avatar yesterday.

No I made the avatar over the summer because I thought

like it was cool because

like I was trying to you know be a video gamer

streamer. Right.
Cool. And to your credit

it is cool. It's a cool avatar.
It's pretty

sick. Yeah.
Yeah.

I just thought about this since it's a bison skin

and he has like what

Thank you. streamer which is cool and to your credit it is cool it's a cool avatar it's pretty sick yeah yeah um you got high just thought about this since it's a bison skin and he has like what red and blue face paint on yep it would be a pretty sick meme to do like a no one circles the wagons like the buffalo bills on that that would be pretty cool again disavow yeah he did he wrote it for them too um all right so i'll i'll go off that so my myre Fest's Read the Room Twitter just got me.
Read the Room Twitter's the worst. I don't understand the thought process of people who spend all day.
And we actually did read the room. We were sitting here watching everything go down, which, again, we condemn disavow.
If you needed to hear us say that, that's crazy. But whatever, we condemn disavow.
Condemn and disavowow who else is doing that um they're fucking morons they're morons they're shitheads and they're morons anyway the we were sitting in the office watching all happen and we we we all were sitting there like all right well not tweeting for a while because this shit is pretty real life and it's like not so like eight o'clock 8 30 i tweeted something bunch of read the. I don't get these people who spend all day being like, this is such a serious day.
And all their energy is towards replying to people saying, read the room. Yeah.
I just feel like read the room is a pretty cool thing to say. Like it feels good when you tell, if I were to tell you to read the room, I would feel like a big shot because a big cat read the room.
It's so lame. And it's also.
Big Cat, wait. You think that you're the victim in this? Read the room.
Like people telling you. No, I'm not.
To read the room. I'm talking about the lame-os.
I think you should read the room about. Read the room.
The read the room people were like, oh, he's posting on Twitter not about this. Right.
And then they go. Read the room.
And they're like, oh, my God. He's got a bear skin on.
And they attack me. Connect the dots.
Yeah, but no. So I actually think in a circular, if you can follow this logic real quick, the people who are saying, who are replying, read the room or now's not the time are actually the real assholes because they spend all time on Twitter replying to people, read the room, now's not the time.
So they, in fact, are not reading the room because they're using all their energy to reply to people saying, read the room. Right, they're looking at timelines and thinking to themselves, they're on alert for someone who's not reading the room.
Instead of thinking, I was thinking about America. They've got their, you know what? They need to read the room's room and you need to chill out about that.
But yeah, we were watching it unfold and we're like, probably there's nothing that we can contribute right now. It would be pretty egotistical of us to be watching this and be like, you know what the world needs right now? They need a pun about what's going on to really settle things down.
But then I did see the cop hitting that one dude with the look-away pepper spray, and I was like, that's Mahomes. If Mahomes did that, the media would be, the Instagram for ESPN and SportsCenter would be doing nothing but putting crossbones, crossbones, crossbones.
Mahomes did it again. I'll leave it at this.
I think everyone who listens to this podcast knows us, knows the type of people we are, knows what we stand for. You don't need me to tweet.
You don't need the thousandth tweet of this is america for like why do you need me to tweet that you know what i'm about you know what how i feel i'm a i try to be a good person in my real life and uh yeah so that's it i i like to think of us that we're the type of guys that if we're in a terrible situation that we make like you know like at least i am if i'm in a terrible situation get the disavow I'm you know i'm always like i'm always like here it comes you know like like we should just storm the capital no no if you're a terrible situation i don't know like your car gets broken down right yeah it all sucks like just kind of like cheer the mood like hey you know like at least the sun's out yeah great job yeah crack a little joke okay so so the end of our democracy is like your car breaking down, dude? Read the room. It's our government breaking down.
Yeah. That's a reply, Twitter.
There's nothing you can say. There's no winning on Twitter.
Twitter is the worst. Just remember that.
Yeah. Read the room.
Read the room. Read the room.
I can't even read. I'm reading the room right now.
I think I need to... Before Hank Hank says it I'm going to preemptively beat Hank to my fire fast Oh I know what this is There was a report that came out yesterday, a study Oh I thought you were going to talk about beating the shit out of Hank in ping pong I'll let Hank say that You did beat the shit out of him in ping pong.
I did. Hank beat me in the first game 21-10.

Hank was asking people about, oh, what's the skunk rule?

Like, what if I beat him 11-0?

Is the game over?

Well, yeah, Hank's been playing ping pong against his dad for the last four weeks on his extended vacation.

Why?

Not all of us.

I haven't played ping pong since, like, September.

It was not a vacation.

Dealing with a knee-to-back injury.

It was a mandatory work break.

Where were you up, Hank?

1-0. 1-0 after beating me 21-10.
Stop the vote. Yeah.
Stop the count. Oh, so PFD just went to sleep and found a few extra points? Yeah, Hank went to sleep.
Well, he was asleep. You put him to sleep.
I fucking punished him 21-14, 21-15. Ooh, something like that.
Is that true? Yeah, whatever. It's not a good look.
You didn't even cover the spread? Nope. not even close to covering the spread anyways yeah the report my um my real fire fest is the report that came out i think was the university of chicago they did a study uh i don't know why we need to keep doing this study but it was like uh society sees men who are five foot eight as being less successful than being men who are six feet tall.
And they tried to quantify it. And they said, a male who is five foot eight needs to make $133,000 more per year to be viewed as successful as someone who's six feet tall.
And first of all, it's fucked up that they have a study where it's just a bunch of people looking at pictures of dudes and being like, this guy's 5'8". How much less successful do you...
It's just somebody in a room looking at a picture of a short guy and being like, that guy's not... Pretty easy to do.
We're doing it right now. Bagel Boss was right.
Bagel Boss was right. I'm saying it.
As a tall guy, I'm going to disavow this study. But you must disavow Bagel Boss.
Okay, I disavowed Bagel Boss was right. Bagel Boss was right.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm saying it.
As a tall guy, I'm going to disavow this study.

Okay.

But you must disavow Bagel Boss.

Okay, I disavow Bagel Boss.

Billy, we disavow the study, but it's also really true.

Well, okay.

Big deal.

133,000.

I'll do two more episodes apart of my take on my own a year.

All of a sudden, boom.

I'm back in the red, baby.

You've got to think about it the other way. I'm going to sneak into this room on two Saturdays this year.

No, Billy, goddammit, you're stupid.

Stop.

Stop. Stop.
Do two studies. And I i'm gonna do two podcasts for like five minutes and just talk about what a success i am here gonna be big time success win podcast where i'll teach everybody else how to be as successful as successful as me now a six foot tall person and boom i'm back in the red so it's fine i'm just saying it's a fucked up study to just have people look at pictures of short guys and be like that guy is kind of more of a loser than this guy you're thinking about it all wrong pft they literally just gave all the short kings out there the playbook you if you're a short king listening to this you just need to tell the woman that you're talking to that you make 138 000 more than you do you need to spend like you're8,000 more.
They gave you the cheat code. They're like, here it is.
This is how to get the woman of your dreams. Get into crippling financial debt, $138,000 a year, and just ball out.
Well, it's interesting that your brain went to the female side of things. I don't think it was woman-related.
I think it was just straight up. It was success in general.
That's also success. Big Cat's showing his internal misogyny by being like, oh, women only care about money.
No, it turns out you care about money too. No, it's success in life overall, which is all-encompassing.
That's fine. I'll just do two more podcasts.
Hank, you're Fyre Fest. Finish us off.
I have a couple. I lost my tan, and Big Cat's not eating carbs, so he's just been snapping at me left and right.
He is a little snapping. I haven't seen you.
I actually haven't snapped at Hank. That's crazy.
JK, JK. You did lose your tan, though.
Yeah. I did lose my tan.
You did lose your tan. I've actually been really nice to you this week.
I'm kidding. I'm joking.
Hank, you want to go tanning? No. Hit the beds? No.
Yeah me neither. I'm hurt.
I said JK JK but I'm hurt because then PFT was like yeah he has been snappish. I actually haven't.
I'm actually a little snappish at Hank. Hank and I have been like being like very friendly this week.
That's only because the Bears in the playoffs. No I've just been in a pretty good mood.
I mean. Oh wait no actually there's some truth to that we haven't watched football with hank in weeks so we did watch with him on sunday that's true i'm worried about your memory sometimes yeah me too wait no i'm not oh my god we should all take four days ago we should all take impact tests oh my god all right Jake Jake do you have a fire fest real quick

I have two

One

Billy rebroke the couch

So I feel like I'm going to get hurt

It's sitting on one dumbbell

Very sturdy

Couldn't be less sturdy

It's absolutely

Completely

Good thing you're not an architect

You're going to break it again

Two I think I accidentally got myself

for the next episode. Yep.
It's absolutely completely. So sturdy.
Yep. Good thing you're not an architect.

You're going to break it again.

I am not.

Two, I think I accidentally got myself addicted to nasal spray.

Oh, yeah.

That'll happen.

My allergies were bad last week.

So I gave myself a little sniff of the afrin.

Big sniff guy.

You just took a little line?

Yeah.

And then on the back, it says, don't use more than twice in 24 hours. So I use it like morning and night.
But then it also said, which I overread and didn't see until yesterday, stop using after three days. So I've been using it for 10 days.
You're going to die. I can see in your eyes right now.
I'm extra stuffy now. You're tweaking out, man.
That's what happens. Yeah.
No, you are definitely addicted to the spray. Dude, Jake's going to be like, what's the hardest drug you've ever done? Well, there was this one time that I didn't read the label

on the nasal spray.

Dude, you're on a bender right now.

Yeah.

This is a 10-day...

I hope I get cleared up in the nose.

How are you going to wean off?

Are you going to go cold turkey?

You can't do cold turkey, Jake.

Try one tomorrow.

Go one tomorrow.

Do you have it on you?

No, it's in my apartment.

Did you already quit?

I stopped yesterday morning.

Oh, thank God.

I was going to do it last night

and then I'm like, why am I still stuck? You're like, this is a problem. We should do an intervention.
You should go to AA. Yeah, we should have an intervention for you.
Oh, listen to that. I know, it's so annoying.
I just did. That's what the point of smelling you are.
Yeah, I did it briefly, but... Jake, I'm worried about you.
You too. The big city has changed you.
You're going to go back home to your folks, and they're going to be like, what happened to our darling Jake? I need to get cleared up. Such a good boy.
If I'm not cleared up by the end of the weekend, I'm worried. Yeah.
You're going to die. Jake's still a third man.
Well, no, definitely. Everyone dies.
Yeah, you're right. Just accept that, and then just ball out on your nasal spray.
Not every man truly lives. Yeah.
So, I mean, in a way, you're squeezing a lot of living into this short time span. Yeah, which would you rather do? Would you rather live a pathetic life, the one that you're currently living, or live an awesome Scarface-style life where you're just hitting the nasal spray every day? I think my life's just fine right now.
I'm very fortunate. That's nice.
Thanks, Jim. You are.
You're a great young man. That's a wholesome ending to this week's play.
All right, let's do the balls. All right.
Another thing that Billy, like this is. Mammoth.
It's not even close to being correct. Look at all that Coors Light.
It's not even close to being correct. Wow.
Billy actually did pull a genius move. Six.
Wait, wait, wait. 18.
Six. 43.
I said 88

84

Mammoth skulls were found by the Greeks

and thought to be the skulls of Cyclops

because they have a large hole in the middle

for an eye

Love you guys

They'd be pretty sweet to Skullfork though. your love of kings.
Shine it away.

I'll be coming for your love of kings.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me. Take my feet off.
I'm so mad at you. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Thank you.