Matt Schaub, John Kuhn And Browns Are Getting Screwed

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 we have Matt Schaub.

Speaker 1 Retired but not retired Matt Schaub, 17-year NFL vet, legend of the game. We have John Kuhn.
We have the Low Man trophy.

Speaker 1 If you missed the presentation, it was the most important trophy presentation that happened last night.

Speaker 3 The only one that had somebody's phone go off with a doorbell sound.

Speaker 1 No, you didn't see Miss Stevens's?

Speaker 3 Oh, his one. No, it was Chris Fowler.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it was Chris Fowler. I think these are noise activated, by the way.
Yeah, I think they don't start until we... It's like the clapper.
I actually think

Speaker 3 it's just Pete, and that's where he sleeps at night, and he waits for us to get started with a show. Hey, Pete.
And he just annoys us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that's the pipes are back.

Speaker 3 I smell him from a mile away.

Speaker 1 We have Hot Sea Cool Throne. We have Guys on Chicks.
We have the Browns getting fucked over.

Speaker 5 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.

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Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 No paper, hang on, no washing.

Speaker 1 And then a candy name all on the sand. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Strait Arbenew.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 My take. Presented by Barry Take it higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 for free.
$10 to the ASPCA.

Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, January 6th.

Speaker 1 And Trevor Lawrence won the fan vote for the Heisman, which I'm counting as a win for my bet. But more importantly,

Speaker 1 I almost said Philip Buchanan. I almost said James Buchanan, but it's Jacoby Buchanan has won the lowman trophy.

Speaker 3 That's a fact. He is the lowman of the year, the best fullback in college football.
That's what everyone's talking about today.

Speaker 3 All the papers are saying it. And it was a big upset for the Masons.
I think the Masons split each other's votes. There were three Masons that

Speaker 3 were nominated for the Low Man Trophy.

Speaker 4 The Three Masons. The Three Masons.
That's a thing.

Speaker 1 The Three Masons. The Three Masons.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we were saying that.

Speaker 1 Did you listen to the show?

Speaker 3 We already addressed the Freemason controversy.

Speaker 1 I said it would be like if we had a five-year-old introduce them, he would say, and he're the Freemasons.

Speaker 3 And also,

Speaker 3 Hank, this is like a teachable moment here. Do you know what a Mason does?

Speaker 3 Lays bricks. They make blocks.

Speaker 3 Same thing as a fullback. Mason Wake, I saw that he's using this as motivation.
He said revenge tour next year. Oh, he goes to VYU, so he's going to be there until he's 35.

Speaker 1 Yep, he's going to be soaking up.

Speaker 3 And Sean Curtin's going to pay him $35 million.

Speaker 1 I love that. I love that.
All right, so the real Heisman winner. I bet on Trevor Lawrence, so I tried as hard as I could to get the conversation going, which was futile.

Speaker 1 But the real Heisman winner deserved it.

Speaker 3 It was Devontae Smith.

Speaker 1 He was incredible. It's actually, I was thinking about it.

Speaker 1 When you look at some of his game stats, he is essentially like if you in NCAA 14, you just created a wide receiver and made him 99 across the board.

Speaker 1 Mississippi State, 203 yards, four touchdowns, 144 yards, two touchdowns against

Speaker 1 Kentucky, 171 yards, two touchdowns against Auburn, 231 yards, three touchdowns against LSU, 184 yards, two touchdowns against Florida, 130 yards, three touchdowns against Nordic. Because it's insane.

Speaker 3 It's the SEC. They don't play defense, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 3 that's a big knock against the conference.

Speaker 1 First wide receiver to win it since 1991. Very, very much deserved.
Also, just an absolute.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that Devontae Smith hopefully has a long-storied NFL career because he is now Slim Reaper, the darantula or the servant, Kevin Durant, was given that nickname but did not take it, what, a decade ago?

Speaker 1 It is one of the greatest nicknames ever, and it's deserved for Devontae Smith because his legs are so skinny, and the Slim Reaper is such an awesome nickname.

Speaker 3 So tiny. They're tiny little legs.
Like Stephon Diggs. Stephon Diggs could floss with his legs.
Yes.

Speaker 3 There there was one picture that ESPN's Twitter account put out where it looked like it looked like a towel was hanging down from his pants yes and but you know what he's very fast and I assume that Nick Saban makes him work out so he's probably very strong in his lower body yep just no wasted no wasted area it's just I'm just happy that someone is the slim reaper because it is such an exceptional nickname so uh the Heisman happened um oh well Piquet you're leaving out another one of the huge win the big winner of the night besides those two that you mentioned was Kyle Trask.

Speaker 3 Because if the NFL doesn't work out for him, he can always be in a Mountain Dew commercial. Yep.
Starring a boy band. He looks like if Mountain Dew sponsored a boy band mixed with Billy Football.

Speaker 1 Billy was getting some Kyle Trask love.

Speaker 1 I said it about a month ago that Kyle Trask, if you were analyzing, if you were scouting these crop of quarterbacks, Kyle Trask's facial hair is a huge negative.

Speaker 1 He is, that is not a franchise quarterback. That is a

Speaker 1 like a sixth inning reliever, maybe a long reliever.

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about like a good reliever. I'm talking about a guy who comes in when someone gets shelled and he's like, all right, I'm.

Speaker 3 You're also talking about the year 1996. Right.

Speaker 1 Middle relievers.

Speaker 1 This is, he's got to fix that.

Speaker 1 If Indy happens and the combine happens, I don't know if it will, but if I were one of the scouts, that would be the first thing I'd ask and be like,

Speaker 1 how open, how much are you in love with your facial hair? Because it has to go.

Speaker 3 I like, though, that it kind of sneaks up on you because if you watch him play football enough, he's always got the chin strap on.

Speaker 3 And then when he takes it off, it's like, whoa, what just happened there? It's like when high school basketball players have to cover up their tattoos and then they take the sleeves off.

Speaker 3 You're like, wow, okay, that guy gets down. Yep.
Kyle Trask, yeah, but you know what? He can always shave.

Speaker 3 And I think that the issue with his facial hair is, and I'm still dealing with this to this very day with my own, is sometimes you just grow facial hair in the place that you can grow it.

Speaker 3 And in college, you're definitely in that spot where you've got some friends that have full beards, you've got some friends with mustaches, and Kyle Trask, I'm sure, can only grow facial hair in the area like between his bottom lip and the top of his chin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he's got to fix that. And then Mac Jones, I think, finished, I think Mac Jones finished third, Kyle Trask four.
Najee Harris five. Mac Jones, by the way, Mac is a great name.

Speaker 1 His real name's Michael, but his middle name is McCorkle. Okay.
That's why he's Mac Jones.

Speaker 3 McCorkle Jones. McCorkle, that's a plus.
McCorkle Jones sounds like

Speaker 3 a Disney character, like a rapping mouse.

Speaker 1 Or like

Speaker 1 an old, like curmudgeon-y Irish bartender who only will serve you one type of beer. It's like, nope, that's all we have.
We've got both kinds of

Speaker 1 dark and light.

Speaker 3 We've got Dennis and Beamish.

Speaker 1 McCorkle Jones. All right, other news.

Speaker 3 Browns are fucked.

Speaker 1 The Browns are getting fucked. So

Speaker 1 the Browns' coaching staff, pretty much their whole coaching staff, Kevin Strafansky, the most important one, obviously,

Speaker 1 has the Coco. They are not going to be able to coach on Sunday night.
The NFL is not giving them any wiggle room.

Speaker 1 Now, the real issue is like, if this was an isolated case, I'd be like, okay, I guess the NFL, like, there's nothing they can do. They got to play the playoffs.

Speaker 1 The NFL has basically just been powering through the Browns having a mini outbreak the last three weeks. They've had, like,

Speaker 1 they've practiced squad guys last week.

Speaker 3 They've got their hands over their ears because they're saying like...

Speaker 1 Wide receivers the week before. I think the quote is:

Speaker 3 it's not a team infection issue, it's a community issue.

Speaker 1 Every single week.

Speaker 3 One of the only businesses that's open in that entire city is the Cleveland Browns' front office. So, yeah, every week, and they've had like six receivers get it.

Speaker 1 You know, it was the entire receiver room, then it was the entire cornerback's room. Yeah.
Now it's the coaching staff, but it's not an outbreak.

Speaker 3 I guess it's not an outbreak. What happens if they're not? They should let Kevin Stefanski coach from a scissor lift on the sideline.

Speaker 3 Or they should have him put a hospital bed in one of the suites like Hugh Freeze did.

Speaker 3 Have Stefanski give him the thumbs up thumbs down runner pass yep there should be a way to to get around this because agreed they're making up all these rules as they go along anyways so why not if you can figure out a way to have kevin stefansky there if he's not symptomatic if he's feeling healthy like there should be a way for him to be in isolation i'm sure the browns would be able to figure out a way like the cleveland clinic is right there they'd be able to figure out a way to like medically evacuate him to pittsburgh and back and the more I think about it, the more I think maybe the Browns are just getting all the good tests for COVID.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Maybe because they are next to the Cleveland clinic.
That's true. Maybe their tests are way better than everywhere else in the league.

Speaker 1 So I have two solutions. One, a joke one that's very selfish and I just want to watch it.
And one, a real one that I actually think the NFL should propose.

Speaker 1 The joke one is, I would love for the Browns.

Speaker 1 They basically are like, all right, so you have five coaches out. You can pick any of your five former head coaches and bring them back.
Hugh Jackson.

Speaker 1 We'll have even the coordinators Todd Haley, Greg Williams. Now, that would be funny.
The real solution, and I'm being dead serious on this,

Speaker 1 they should just be like, Bill Belichick can coach the Browns on Sunday. I'm okay with it.
Bill Belichick. And Nick Sabin Saban.

Speaker 3 Okay. And Nick Saban.

Speaker 1 Like, but seriously, wouldn't that be,

Speaker 1 it would be the greatest entertainment to be like, okay, let's see how great of a coach you are, Bill Belichick. You show up, five days to prep your team.
Browns fans would absolutely take it.

Speaker 1 Be like, okay, we get, like, we don't have a coach. This will be our coach for this week.
I think it would be an incredible thing to watch.

Speaker 3 I mean, the Browns are a private private organization.

Speaker 1 They can hire whoever they want right now, right? But I don't think the Patriots would let them. No, not Bill Belisack.

Speaker 3 I'm saying like Hugh Jackson. They could bring back Hugh Jackson and Marvin Lewis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the joke. No, no.
The joke one. Okay, so

Speaker 3 how about you give the Steelers Hugh Jackson and then you just coach Normo?

Speaker 1 But seriously,

Speaker 3 Hugh has to call all the plays.

Speaker 1 And Tomlin can be the Browns coach.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 3 they should be able to hire whoever they want, though.

Speaker 3 Like, if there's an Urban Meyer or if there's a coach that is out there right now that knows offensive football, that knows how to coach, you should be able to pick up like a guy

Speaker 3 named Jeff Fisher.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like where your head's at.

Speaker 3 But imagine if they actually were just like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Browns, we're fucking you over. You get Bill Belichick.
Yeah, well. And let's just see what happens.

Speaker 1 And it would be the greatest game to watch, most fascinating storyline of all time.

Speaker 3 I've got a little sliver of hope for Browns fans. And that's that you are a team of destiny.
This is something I found out yesterday. I've been saving this big cat.

Speaker 1 Big Cat. Okay, go ahead.
Sell me. I've been saving this.

Speaker 3 It has nothing to do with this weekend, but it does have to do with the fact that the Super Bowl is being played on the one-year anniversary of a very important time in the Cleveland Browns organization.

Speaker 1 Oh, is it Swagger's death?

Speaker 3 It's the one-year anniversary of Swagger's death. Oh, wow.
Their dog died a year ago on the exact date of the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Okay, so... Unfortunately,

Speaker 1 I like what you're trying to do for the listeners of this show that are Browns fans looking for anything. Knowing the Browns' history and how cursed they are, I think that just means that Swagger Jr.

Speaker 1 is going to die on the Super Bowl. Well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know because everything changed after Swagger died. You saw the tweet that reminded us

Speaker 3 of the death yesterday. And I went back, I did the math and saw it.
Well, I looked at dates and figured out that it was Unsupervised. Ryan Locke did it.

Speaker 3 But the funeral was well after. It was a couple weeks after the death.
It was the first and probably the last, we would hope, open casket funeral for a dog that I was aware of Yes.

Speaker 3 When Swagger 1 died. But Swagger 2 is a winner.
Swagger 1 was a lot of things to a lot of people, but a winner he was not. Swagger 2 had all the best attributes of Swagger the Real.

Speaker 3 Swagger 1 laid the foundation for Swagger 2 to come in and turn the Browns into a winning team. But one year later, I feel like if they get...
That is a Team of Destiny vibe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, except for like everything else that's happened to them.

Speaker 3 That's also kind of a Team of Destiny vibe.

Speaker 1 We'll see. We'll see.
I mean, it sucks. i

Speaker 1 i jeff de low our good friend and colleague who is a diehard browns fan i told him i was like look listen dude this sucks but as i i would put the browns probably in the category of what we said on monday the you know we're we're the non-threatening party goers in the playoffs this year is it the worst thing that you get a built-in excuse and be like we could have won this game if the nfl didn't fuck us over like no it's not bad i kind of i wouldn't hate if the bears had to have a built-in excuse instead of just sucking.

Speaker 1 The good. Like, hey, you know, we got screwed.
Right.

Speaker 3 The good news for Browns fans is, well, in addition to that, you're playing the Steelers. And the Steelers aren't great.

Speaker 3 It's a very winnable game. Now, some would call it a disadvantage to having no head coach.

Speaker 1 This is the first time since Bill Belichick that not having a head coach is actually a disadvantage.

Speaker 3 That's what I was saying.

Speaker 3 I was like, listen, there are years in the past where having your head coach get COVID, like, that would have been a plus, but it is very Browns to have it be like the one year, the one year that we couldn't have this happen.

Speaker 3 It had a really good coach. It went down.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Other news.
Tommy Lasorda's back out of the hospital. Fuck yes.
Let's go, Tommy.

Speaker 1 Anything else? We taped the end of the show earlier, so we'll talk about the Ohio State. Stay woke.

Speaker 3 COVID. I'm keeping an update.
I'm keeping it.

Speaker 4 Kim Yee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kim Yee. R.I.P.
True Love.

Speaker 3 I cannot believe True Love on my hot seat before we do hot seat cool throwing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They broke up.

Speaker 3 Those dough-eyed little kids couldn't work it out.

Speaker 1 If there was any couple that I thought would,

Speaker 1 you know, stand the test of time, it was Kim Yee.

Speaker 1 I think we can all agree, right? And then everyone's going to cry about it and be like, oh my god, how could celebrities divorce?

Speaker 3 We might get a great Kanye album coming out of this, though. That would be cool.

Speaker 1 Oh, like Taylor Swift.

Speaker 3 Taylor Swift does her best work after breakups. I'm pretty sure she just dates guys to get material.
Like, Kanye might drop a heater.

Speaker 1 I think we're more likely.

Speaker 4 You got to get off the God stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think we're more likely to get a banger keeping up with the Kardashians episode.

Speaker 3 What about Satanic Kanye?

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 We will get a banger teaser for keeping up with the Kardashians season.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, that won't tell us anything. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then it'll come at the end of an episode.

Speaker 1 That will be an incredible.

Speaker 4 But the teaser will be like, hold on.

Speaker 1 The best teaser of all time.

Speaker 4 Yes, the season's going to be amazing.

Speaker 1 I want CT8 Adams' brains.

Speaker 3 I do want a Kanye album where he like totally renounces his faith. He questions everything.

Speaker 3 Call it like I'm off that god tip.

Speaker 1 Yes. That would be.

Speaker 1 Your mic's on.

Speaker 3 Speaking of the mic, Billy. Hold on, your mic's on.

Speaker 1 Hold on, your mic's on. Hold on, your mic's on.
You're good. Okay, go.
It's going to feature. Wait, your mic's on.
No, you're good. Say it.

Speaker 3 It's going to feature Mario Judah. Okay, I understand that reference.

Speaker 1 Totally. Your references are so sick.

Speaker 1 Who is that? My mic was on. I would have been better.

Speaker 3 Cool Throne Ricky Williams also

Speaker 1 who you were talking about.

Speaker 1 He's a rapper who likes

Speaker 1 Satanic. Yeah, I know that.
I know that. It's kind of popular.

Speaker 3 Dude, I thought you were were talking about the other Mario Judah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were like

Speaker 1 Mario Judah from

Speaker 1 Atlanta, Georgia, an American singer, songwriter, record producer. He began producing music as a teenager.
Is that who you're talking about? Yes.

Speaker 1 He rose to prominence as an internet meme with his single Die Very Rough. Yes.
Okay, yeah, we know that guy. I mean, what are you talking about? We know him.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's do our hot seat cool throne.
Henry,

Speaker 1 you're on the mic. What's your beef?

Speaker 1 That was the old Will Smith. Remember he used to answer the phone like that?

Speaker 3 You're on the mic, what's your beef? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure that was

Speaker 1 Fresh Prince would do that. I think that was

Speaker 3 Man Cow.

Speaker 1 Mike Mankow?

Speaker 3 Or either that is Sports Babe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mankow was running for, I think Mankow's running for governor of Illinois.

Speaker 3 Hank, do you remember Sports Babe? Sports Babe was the Sports Talk Radio show host, but plot twist, record scratch, she's a babe.

Speaker 3 And you'd call in, and the first thing she'd say, or you'd say to her, would you...

Speaker 1 This is a real life thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, oh, yeah. It'd be your height and weight.
And you'd go, hey, babe, first time, long time, 6'2. Everybody was 6'2.
6'2, 185.

Speaker 3 And then she'd go, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 It's great, great era in sports talk radio. Yeah.
Does she have an awake band now? I'm sure she does.

Speaker 4 You sound so wise for your age, PFT. That seems like something that wasn't around, like, you know,

Speaker 4 when you were a kid, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, maybe when Big Cat was.

Speaker 3 I know, yeah. Yeah, it's true.
I'm eight years old. I spend a lot of time on YouTube watching, you know, stuff that my dad looks at.

Speaker 4 My hot seat is the Texans camera crew, or one guy in particular.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 4 JJ Watt and Deshaun Watson were sharing a heartfelt moment.

Speaker 4 JJ Watt was apologizing to Sean Watson. He said, I'm sorry we wasted a season for you, and a fucking camera guy caught it.
Caught it?

Speaker 1 JJ

Speaker 1 ever.

Speaker 1 Be kidding me. JJ keeps having this happen.
I know.

Speaker 4 I can't imagine he's happy about it.

Speaker 1 That sucks.

Speaker 3 He's got to be pretty embarrassed about that because that's something that, you know, between teammates and alphas in the FL, you got to say that behind closed doors or else everyone's going to know what a great dude you are.

Speaker 1 So I'm conflicted on this because we've obviously come a long way with J.J. Watt from the Ohio J.J.

Speaker 1 days. He's up to coach.

Speaker 1 He is a nice guy. A very nice guy.

Speaker 1 I actually think that that was genuine. No, no.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
It was set up for the cameras. Like, he knew the cameras were there.

Speaker 1 But I actually think, like, he genuinely does feel bad of how that Texans' defense was that bad. It was corny.

Speaker 4 But if he was authentic, he would have been like, our fucking coaching staff is a joke.

Speaker 5 No, it was corny.

Speaker 1 All that stuff. He would have edited that plan.
Right. It was exactly how he planned it to go viral.
All that shit.

Speaker 1 I'm saying, like, as just looking at the facts of how bad the Texans defense was, I think apology was in order for Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 3 So I'm looking at this the same way that you could look at Britney Spears' paparazzi pictures from like the early 2000s when she was really going through it and being a party girl and raging.

Speaker 3 So yeah, there were times that she knew the paparazzi was going to be there and she'd step out of her limo with her nipple hanging out.

Speaker 3 But there were also instances where just because she was partying so much, she'd, you know, swing the door open and then happen to catch an upskirt shot of her landing strip. Right.

Speaker 3 And so that's kind of what's happening with JJ, where I'm sure he has said this before, but like it was framed too perfectly.

Speaker 1 Of course it was.

Speaker 3 It looked like the Joe Burrow video on Senior Night, the way they were trailing him out with the 4K lens. JJ knows it's probably JJ's personal photographer.

Speaker 1 JJ, like, if you, if you did a scouting,

Speaker 1 you know, chart of JJ Watts' strengths, like, you know, unbelievable motor, power, strength, all this stuff,

Speaker 1 and then also

Speaker 1 incredible 10 out of 10, and always knowing where the camera is.

Speaker 1 I think he did. I think camera awareness.
I think he would admit that. But there was an apology in order for Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Look at Big Cat now.
No, I know. No, they're dealing with it.
We must protect

Speaker 1 Deshaun Watson at all costs. No, that's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 That's what I heard.

Speaker 1 How did you get that?

Speaker 1 There was an apology in order from their defense.

Speaker 1 Their defense was that bad. I mean,

Speaker 1 it's tough to win. What did they win? Four games? It's tough to have the leading quarterbacks.

Speaker 4 They just said they should have won 11.

Speaker 1 I don't know about that, but to have the leading, the

Speaker 1 quarterback who leads the league in passing and win four games, that's tough to do. It is.
That's very tough to do.

Speaker 4 Then my cool throwing is Seattle.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 There's talks about

Speaker 4 adding two NBA expansion teams, and they're heating up. It's looking like things are trending in the right direction.

Speaker 3 Not goes to Seattle.

Speaker 1 I don't want to. Well, no, but like I said, one to Pittsburgh.
I want the Sonics to very much return. Yes.
I really want it for our dear friend Spencer Hawes.

Speaker 1 But I also, there's like, this is, remember when the U.S. didn't make the World Cup and it was the funniest moment ever? It would be very funny if they added two teams and neither were in Seattle.

Speaker 1 It would be

Speaker 1 in a sense. And just on a

Speaker 1 face value, I don't want it to happen. I'm not rooting.
I'm rooting for the Sonics to come back. They should be the number one team that gets a franchise if they're adding any teams.

Speaker 1 Again, though, if they added two and they're like, yeah, it's going to be

Speaker 1 Daytona Beach and Louisville.

Speaker 3 Okay, I was going to say Louisville and Las Vegas, but we call the Las Vegas team the Supersonics.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or they'll be like, well, you know what? We're going to add it to Vegas, but they're going to play three preseason games in Seattle.

Speaker 3 They treat Seattle like the NFL used to do the America Bowl where they go over to Japan for one game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or like Buffalo and Toronto. Remember when they did that experiment? Yeah.
They're like, yeah, it's basically Seattle.

Speaker 3 I just want Seattle to have a basketball team so that they can bring back the Sean Kemp Rainman shoes. Those things are the kamikazes.

Speaker 1 I am a little worried, though, for Spencer, because if they do bring back the Sonics, does he die? Because I think that's all he

Speaker 1 says. That's it.

Speaker 1 That's the only thing he's looking for. Avengers.

Speaker 3 Peloton.

Speaker 1 Peloton. Yeah.
Washington football and the Sonics.

Speaker 1 Okay. Is that it?

Speaker 4 That's my cool throne. Okay.

Speaker 1 Thrones?

Speaker 1 It's Hot Seat Cool Thrones.

Speaker 3 Hot Seat Cool Throne. You just did the bare minimum.
That's fine. Your minimum guy.

Speaker 1 Cool. Yeah.
You are a minimum guy.

Speaker 4 If it it was hot seats, cool thrones, hot seats, cool thrones, I would have multiple.

Speaker 3 However, it's not. It's like Big Smack.

Speaker 3 Hot seat, World Handball.

Speaker 3 World handball is on the hot seat. Be careful.
That's right. Watch out.
Don't let the USA get hot.

Speaker 3 We're returning to the international stage on January 14th. It's the big tournament, whatever they call that.
I don't know, the World Series.

Speaker 3 A bunch of countries are getting together and playing each other.

Speaker 1 I think it's just called recess.

Speaker 3 It's just a shitload of men's world handball championships. Yeah, physical education is what's happening.
happening.

Speaker 1 It's between block, you know, period five and six.

Speaker 3 Hopefully, we can get the presidential award this year. So I looked it up.
We're in the group of death. I don't know that, but we're playing against Norway, Austria, and France.
It feels like

Speaker 3 the handball group of death. So we open it up against Austria.
So hot seat, Matthew Delavodova. We're coming at you, buddy.
And

Speaker 3 it's going to be tough for us because...

Speaker 1 Austria?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Austria. Okay.
And

Speaker 3 we're going to be playing on the 14th. And when you look on Google at the schedule, it's got all the countries' flags.
And then the U.S.

Speaker 3 just has the generic gray spot there, which is how you can tell that that

Speaker 3 we're ready to go for team handball. Yes.
So, yeah, we are in the group of death.

Speaker 4 I feel like my guy Tyreed's on the team. We're going to win.

Speaker 3 Tyreid? Tyreid? Tyreid.

Speaker 4 No, I played handball 2016 with him during quarantine on Xbox. His name is Tyler Reed.

Speaker 1 Tyler

Speaker 4 wide receiver to Alabama.

Speaker 1 Oh, turned.

Speaker 4 He did what Billy had said he was going to do.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 4 So we played football turned into a

Speaker 1 100% factual. Yeah, like he basically said.

Speaker 3 The sixth best wide receiver at Alabama is now our star player.

Speaker 1 The guy who was on special teams for five years at Alabama is the best player in the world.

Speaker 4 I just know he's on the team. No, Ty Reed is the best.

Speaker 1 He's the best team. He's the best player in the world.

Speaker 3 I've got my Reed jersey hanging up in the closet.

Speaker 1 I love that we still, like, the fact that we had, that was right around this year, this time last year with Jay Cutler, but that we got a handball, like one of the best in the world, and he was a fucking accountant.

Speaker 1 That guy was cool, but he was an accountant.

Speaker 3 You know what else I like about this whole conversation is that, like, the international handball community is probably the most active online community

Speaker 3 in the world. So, you know that they've got a lot of time on their hands

Speaker 3 to just name search. A real elite sport would not have that amount of time.

Speaker 1 And the best part is they don't even realize that

Speaker 1 they're like, oh, back it up. Like, dude, no, thank you.
No.

Speaker 3 Like, this is what we're doing.

Speaker 1 Do you understand what we do now? Yeah, we. Billy's literally fighting Jose Consego for me.
I do not back it.

Speaker 3 We start fights, okay?

Speaker 1 We don't finish fights. I just talk shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah. My other hot seat is tradition.
The NFL, or excuse me, the NHL has spat in the face of traditions.

Speaker 3 They're renaming their divisions, and they're giving them corporate slogans or corporate sponsors. No.
So it's the Honda division, the Scotia division. Guess which one that is?

Speaker 3 Wait, that's not actually real.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Discover and Mass Mutual division.

Speaker 1 Wait, the NHL.

Speaker 3 NHL. You said the NFL.
But I switched it to NHL. Okay.
I said NHL. Excuse me.
Okay.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, the NBA would never do something like this. Sell out to corporations and put logos on their official uniforms, but the NHL is doing it.
Bad look for the kids.

Speaker 1 Well, they're trying to make some money up. Yep.
They're trying to make some money up. They got the logos on the helmets.

Speaker 3 Some of us care about tradition, big cat.

Speaker 1 Just get to, you know, keep the league alive.

Speaker 3 Every uniform should look like Notre Dame and Michigan from 1910.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 My cool throne. Oh.
Oh, you're too hot seats. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you see that? I did double time. Not a minimum guy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. My cool throne is Swag Kelly.
So no offense, no disrespect

Speaker 3 to CJ Bethard, but Swag is back

Speaker 3 like a prodigal son returning to a party with an assault rifle. Swag Kelly has returned to the land of his birth.
I actually don't know.

Speaker 3 Is he from Buffalo? I know his family is, obviously. So he's the nephew of Jim Kelly, but he's back in the land of ancestors.
And it's classic Belichick what the Bills are doing. Because

Speaker 3 guess who Swag was most recently playing playing for?

Speaker 1 The Colts. Yep.

Speaker 3 He's got their playbook. He does.

Speaker 3 I like to think that Swag had his own.

Speaker 1 He definitely doesn't. Well,

Speaker 3 my hypothesis is that they had three separate playbooks. I was going to say.
They had the Phillip Rivers playbook. They had the

Speaker 3 Jacoby Brissette playbook, which is just sneaking the ball.

Speaker 3 And then they've got Swag Kelly, which is when you need to take an intentional safety, but make it look unintentional or have somebody assault a referee or cameraman.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about it. I was like, wait,

Speaker 1 he not only doesn't have a playbook physically, because they probably took it from him, but he also definitely hasn't retained any of the information.

Speaker 3 Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, he had his one specific, it's like, swag, we're going to send you out there.
Please get us a 15-yard misconduct penalty.

Speaker 3 Billy?

Speaker 1 Are you going to stand for this, Billy?

Speaker 3 Maybe he's Mr. Ursay's banana boat guy.

Speaker 1 Billy, are you going to stand for this?

Speaker 3 I don't have to say anything.

Speaker 3 Swag is silent.

Speaker 1 What draft was it that he was the best?

Speaker 1 The best quarterback from this draft is Swag Kelly. What was it, like 2017 or something? Yeah.
You said that.

Speaker 3 I said that. It was like that summer, I guess.
No, you said most talented. Most.
Which I still agree with.

Speaker 1 You can say that and never be wrong.

Speaker 3 There's a lot of talented guys who just go off the reservation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like me.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 3 I could have had it all. Could have been contender.

Speaker 1 All right. My hot seat is Alabama and Ohio State.
They're playing in the national championship on Monday, but they aren't the national champions. So

Speaker 1 the New York Times, noted football publication, had an article that said the college football champion not in the title game.

Speaker 1 And this guy has deemed that the University of Connecticut, because they were the first football subdivision team to squarely face the coronavirus and decide against playing a single snap during a raging pandemic, should be our 2020-21 national champion.

Speaker 3 They're the real champions.

Speaker 3 I'm actually in favor of that just to watch how badly that pisses off Randy Edsel.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. No, dude, are you kidding me? Randy Edsel definitely has a ton of clauses that gets him so many bonuses for this.
Really?

Speaker 1 He probably has a clause. Like, if the New York Times deems us national champions, Randy Edsel is the king of clauses.

Speaker 3 So I love this take because it reminds us that the Tennessee Titans should actually not be in the NFL playoffs because they did not take Corona seriously.

Speaker 3 I love it when sports writers just like arbitrarily.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I unfortunately can't read the article because I don't have a subscription to the New York Times.
But I saw the paragraph. I heard it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and someone else transcribed the paragraph, but yeah, it's I'm in favor of take, I'm in favor of awarding meritless national championships just as a ground rule. Yeah, breaking moose.

Speaker 1 Breaking loose. Oh, this is my cool throne.
Maybe.

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 it works perfectly with the hot seat.

Speaker 4 Brett McMurphy just tweeted this 31 seconds ago. Uh-oh.
Because of COVID issues at Ohio State, there has been discussions about postponing the cost football playoff title game.

Speaker 1 Stay woke.

Speaker 3 The NFL is going to postpone the Browns game to Monday, and then they're going to postpone postpone the national championship game to the following Saturday.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 No, the following Saturday as football. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You always get the NFL playoff schedule.

Speaker 3 I can't look ahead longer than one week.

Speaker 1 I'm taking

Speaker 1 the same football guy, Big Gas. We're doing the same schedule for our entire life.

Speaker 3 Except this year is different.

Speaker 1 No, but the second weekend is completely the same.

Speaker 3 They've got a game on fucking Nickelodeon this weekend that's never happened before.

Speaker 1 There's six games this weekend. We're in the future.
Next weekend is Saturday, two games, Sunday, two games, as always. And then the championship Sunday is always two games on Sunday.

Speaker 3 Okay, so then the national championship game would be delayed until the following Monday.

Speaker 1 Yes. Which, for the record, I am absolutely in favor of that.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Let's have as much football as we can for as long as we can.

Speaker 1 Stream alive. And also,

Speaker 1 stay, stay woke, woke.

Speaker 1 They have COVID issues. Does it happen to be somewhere around Justin Fields' ribs?

Speaker 1 I am the preeminent rib truther online. Yeah, I mean, and I'm going to throw a flag right now.
I would say an extra week would help those bruised ribs.

Speaker 3 I would say

Speaker 3 in terms of a punctured lung, calling it a rib issue,

Speaker 3 if the rib punctured the lung,

Speaker 3 but maybe he doesn't have COVID. Maybe he's just at a higher susceptibility to get it because he's got like a tracheotomy tube going into his lung.

Speaker 3 That would be COVID-related, wouldn't it?

Speaker 1 I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 I feel like it would.

Speaker 1 It's so stupid how the NCAA and like, because I don't even think the NCAA, it's just the conferences now.

Speaker 1 Like, I saw this before the college football semifinal, the day before Clemson was done with testing, but Ohio State still had to test the morning of the game.

Speaker 1 Like, it's so stupid how all of this is going on.

Speaker 3 It is very weird.

Speaker 1 And, you know, we talked about the Browns at the beginning of the show.

Speaker 3 It's all crazy. Do you feel like Ohio State gets helmet stickers for every time they put on a mask in a meeting or every time they pass a test? Yes.
They hand those things out like candy now.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying those ribs might be feeling a lot better a week later, right? Mm-hmm. Just throwing it out there.
That's just science.

Speaker 1 All right. My cool throne is

Speaker 1 Tua. He's been announced starter for 2021, which I didn't know they announced starters right now.

Speaker 3 That's always a great sign

Speaker 3 when your front office is like, this guy's going to be. I don't know where.
I don't know who's going to be alive in two weeks.

Speaker 3 So like thinking all the way to September, there's a lot that can happen there. And, well, as Booger says, we're in a microwave society.
Yes. In a microwave society right now.
We want everything fast.

Speaker 3 We want everything now.

Speaker 1 Good for the Dolphins. Good for Tua.
Again, it was a lot less about Tua and more about the fact they have the third pick overall. But hey, if they want to go with Tua, that's fine.
But you know what?

Speaker 3 Saying that, like...

Speaker 3 He is right now our starter on our roster. I love that.
I love because you leave yourself open to literally doing anything in the offseason.

Speaker 1 And also, just a heads up as Dolphins fans, who I'm wearing all Dolphins gear, shout out the guy who sent me a Triple XL Dolphins jumpsuit.

Speaker 1 It's, you know, like, like tired, wired, tired being haunted by two quarterbacks, wired being haunted by, like, three or four, because they're already haunted by Justin Herbert.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm haunted by Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes, but they're haunted by Justin Herbert. Who's to say they don't draft a quarterback this year?

Speaker 1 And like, Zach Wilson, Trey Lance, Justin Field, all these guys turn out to be Hall of Famers.

Speaker 3 Oh my God. Then they just have like three years of Roger Goodell chasing.

Speaker 1 Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 3 You know what they say? If you have two of quarterbacks, you don't have one.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 1 Actually, no, I mean, 2.8 ball. That's pretty good.
2.8 boobs. 2.8 boobs.
That's, I mean, 2.8 boobs is very good.

Speaker 3 I'm actually shocked I haven't said that like every single week.

Speaker 1 2.8. Well, I think Frank the Tank has been around enough that he's probably said it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 All right. My other cool throne, not minimum guys, not on this side of the room.
We're not minimum guys. Billy and Hank are minimum guys.

Speaker 1 Flight tracker, flight trackers all the way back.

Speaker 1 Love it. Going to Jacksonville.
Also, Shad Khan. Wow,

Speaker 1 what a galaxy brain move to be like, we're trying to hire the best new head coach. But just so we're clear, I'm the one who's still in charge of the roster.

Speaker 1 Me, Shad Khan, super crazy rich guy who doesn't know anything about football.

Speaker 3 I'm okay with that because at least he's saying it.

Speaker 1 Every other owner will be like, no,

Speaker 3 I let my football guys do the football work and I just sit here and I write the checks and watch the games.

Speaker 3 And I think probably the successful franchises out there actually have that, but those aren't the ones that are ever looking for head coaches.

Speaker 3 So now you've got a situation where every opening is going to be an owner who publicly says, I'm going to let you do your thing.

Speaker 3 And the next thing you know, you're drafting a quarterback in the first round because he played beer pong with your son in high school. Right.
And then that becomes an issue for you. Devil, you know.

Speaker 3 The devil you know is fine. And also, I'm glad you brought up Flight tracker because big shout out to all the people on the message boards out there.
Tiger Droppings is huge on it.

Speaker 3 I know that Hogville has certainly made its name in terms of tracking these flights coast to coast, finding the coaches.

Speaker 3 I've got like five different flight aware guys in my DMs that always pop up this time. And I love all of you guys for doing God's work.

Speaker 3 We love, if these guys were in charge of NORAD on September 11th, we would never have gone through anything bad.

Speaker 3 So great job. Keep doing what you're doing.
You're real American heroes and and patriots.

Speaker 1 All right. Minimum guy.
I don't know what that means. What is that? You're going to do your one hot seat and one cool throne.

Speaker 3 I have like five.

Speaker 1 Oh. Here we go.

Speaker 3 Hot seat pirate streamers. Dana White says he has a special surprise for anyone who pirates his UFC.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes, Dana White. Yeah.
Sweet graphic t-shirt. I got it.

Speaker 3 Like he's like threatening people who pirate his stream. So that's cool.

Speaker 3 My other hot seat is Doug Peterson.

Speaker 1 Gregor's fighting soon, by the way. Yeah.
He pirates. That's awesome.
He's on the show, right? Yeah, that's going to be awesome. Robbie Fox is going.

Speaker 3 Wait, what do you think Dana White's going to do? What's his special speaker?

Speaker 1 He's probably going to show up.

Speaker 1 If you are sitting there pirating, all of a sudden your doorbell rings and you just get punched in the face.

Speaker 4 Robbie Fox is going on the

Speaker 4 UFC charter with Dana to fight Island.

Speaker 3 I was thinking about what you could do to combat pirating. I bet he's going to send out a bunch of troll links.

Speaker 1 Hire Tom Links.

Speaker 3 On Reddit. Oh, so here's what he might do.

Speaker 3 He might send out troll links that are all infected with viruses. So he makes people scared.
It's like a landmine when you're trying to click on a periscope.

Speaker 1 Which he doesn't realize that already exists. Every time you click on one of these links, it's always there's a 50-50 chance you get your computer fucked.

Speaker 3 But this time it like 100% chance. Maybe Rick rolls you.

Speaker 1 Oh, I think that's what I'm thinking. Meat spin.

Speaker 3 That'd be a good idea. Or it just goes to a live stream of Dana White.

Speaker 1 That's a joke that only us, well, PFT is 27, but us over 30 get.

Speaker 3 What's Meat Spin? Send it to me, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Hey, Big Cat. Hey,

Speaker 1 go to meatspin.com. Big cat, have you looked up BOFA? Oh, man.
Oh, dude, don't get me. I got that.
Someone got me last night.

Speaker 3 They got you pretty good.

Speaker 3 My other hot seat is Jeb Bush's tiny arms.

Speaker 3 He was getting the vaccine. His arms are frail as fuck.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 I'm getting into my backups.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Keep going, keep going, keep going.

Speaker 3 My other hot seat,

Speaker 3 Jose Conseco.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be his ass.

Speaker 3 Jeb Bush follows me on Twitter.

Speaker 3 My other hot seat, those are all my hot seats. Okay.
That is a very small arm on on Jeb Bush. Cool.

Speaker 3 He's a super big right arm.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he's a right winger.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Damn. Sorry, Billy.

Speaker 3 He's actually not even that big of a right winger anymore.

Speaker 1 Is that photoshopped?

Speaker 1 It looks photoshopped. It does.

Speaker 3 I'm going to DM Jeb Bush real quick and ask him if that was photoshopped.

Speaker 1 Sorry, Billy, what do you got cool thrown?

Speaker 3 And my last cool throne is

Speaker 3 another

Speaker 3 hot seat is the weekend because he got really weird plastic surgery.

Speaker 3 It may be fake, though. It's kind of creepy.

Speaker 1 Anyway. All right.

Speaker 1 Let's get to our interviews.

Speaker 3 I forgot about this, but I've got.

Speaker 1 You tried to get him on the show.

Speaker 3 No, but I never DM'd him.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 It looks like I've DM'd him several times in the past just trying to get him to join my fantasy football league. Oh, that was right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to just say Hank.

Speaker 1 We're going to say Hank.

Speaker 4 You're not serious about the weekend, right?

Speaker 1 Did you see? It's a music video. Well, he got the bandages on.

Speaker 1 That is the music video.

Speaker 3 Remember

Speaker 3 he went to the guys, bad news.

Speaker 1 Michael Jackson is actually a zombie. Oh, God, Billy.

Speaker 1 This is bad, Billy. No, I.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. No, but he was wearing the bandages before.

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 3 Did I get tricked by Hollywood?

Speaker 3 He got tricked by a costume. Billy.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't get tricked by a costume. Fun fact about costume.

Speaker 1 That's the lowest form of trick. If you If you saw the weekend play a

Speaker 4 plastic surgery disaster in his bizarre Save Your Tears video.

Speaker 3 Bro, I just saw it. The weekend got terrible plastic surgery.
Did you hear the guy from Jamiroquai invented a way to defy gravity?

Speaker 1 Was the

Speaker 1 OK Go? Was that the name of them?

Speaker 3 Yeah, they're the ones that do all the

Speaker 3 Rube Goldberg machines.

Speaker 1 And they also, yeah, they get on the treadmill. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Treadmill accident. If you leave a cucumber on the ground next to Billy Football, he'll panic and flip out about it.

Speaker 1 Cool turn, Chad Kelly. Okay.
All right, let's get to our interviews. We have first up, no longer retired, and you'll find out why, Matt Schaub, legend of the game, 17-year NFL career.

Speaker 1 We talk about everything with him.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recently retired, a fantastic 17-year career in the NFL. It is Matt Schaub.

Speaker 1 Matt, thank you for joining us. Can we first start with, are you actually retired?

Speaker 1 Because I read a tweet yesterday that said, after our show today, Matt Schaub found out he is retiring from the Falcons. You found out you were retiring or you retired?

Speaker 9 Well, no, it was something that I knew was going to happen. You know, my contract's up.
So,

Speaker 9 you know, if this is it for me, unless a super enticing offer comes

Speaker 9 down the pipe and you know whatever you know you never want to say never but uh as far as me and my career and where my family's at man i couldn't be more uh happy and content and satisfied with uh my journey and in the nfl playing quarterback and if this is the end of the road you know i wanted to just let it be known that i'm going to go out on my terms and and call it a career you're not retired breaking news match job is not retired i love that we had you on we got that figured out actually you know what that's the interview we'll talk to you when you retire dude

Speaker 9 well the paperwork hasn't been final filed yet so until that happens you know, you're not, you're not done.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, the phone is going to ring for you. Like, there's all, there's going to be room in the NFL for Matt Schaub for the next 20 years.
I'm convinced of it. And it's funny because you were in that

Speaker 3 same draft class as Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning and Philip Rivers.

Speaker 3 I feel like we need to talk about Matt Schaub as being part of that elite draft class because, yeah, I mean, those guys have, you know, they've started for the same team for upwards of 16 years.

Speaker 3 But having this long of a career in the NFL as a quarterback is extremely tough to do.

Speaker 3 And we talk about it a lot on the show, how there's like there are guys who can become backups who are still sometimes one of the top 30, top 40 quarterbacks in the entire world that can turn that into a long career.

Speaker 3 And I'm always curious to know, you played both sides of it. You were a great starter for a long time, and then you were a great backup quarterback.

Speaker 3 Did you have to change anything about the way you prepared?

Speaker 9 Did you have to start driving a less swaggy car so you wouldn't be able to like upstage the starting guy like what's the difference in skill set there well i think i think the one thing that you have to adjust is when you're the starter you're getting all the reps you're out of practice you're the guy you're in the huddle you're getting all the physical reps to get ready to play but when you're the backup you know and i started my career out here in atlanta as the backup to michael vicks so that's how i developed in this league and then i got my opportunity in houston to be the starter but then going back to the backup role you just have to do everything mentally you have to envision everything and then when you're doing the scout offense and giving the defense the looks for sundae you have to put yourself in the game so it's just a little bit different mindset but you try to prepare mentally much the same as if you're the starter but you're just not getting the physical reps and that's the big thing but as far as driving a less swaggy car, I mean, I just drive, you know, Matt Ryan's the quarterback and he's been here.

Speaker 9 He's got the like coolest Mercedes out there. So there was no endangerment of me like driving a nicer car than him.
So that was off the table.

Speaker 1 So, but in terms of like personality, because I would assume when you do become the backup, there is a little bit more of like you're a team player.

Speaker 1 You know, like you said, the reps, you don't get all the reps. You're probably having to do some scout work for the quarterback's room, for the offensive coordinator.
Is there something that,

Speaker 1 you know, that you knew about your personality? Like, hey, I can last here because I'm a team guy and I enjoy just being around everyone, whether I'm playing or not.

Speaker 9 You know, one thing that, you know, I embrace coming here because I had a prior relationship with New Matt Ryan for a lot of years, and he's an established veteran elite quarterback in this league.

Speaker 9 For me, it was to be an extra set of eyes to validate some of the things we're doing game planning wise with our reads, with some of our hots or what we're going to do versus zero pressure versus a certain defense or look and just be a sounding board because I've been in his shoes.

Speaker 9 You know, a lot of guys as a backup haven't been in a starting role. So it's hard for the starter to trust what they're trying to tell him.

Speaker 9 And so to have that rapport and that respect between us was paramount and was great for the last five years. And one of the roles that I took on was in in a mentorship role for a lot of young guys.

Speaker 9 You know, the starter has to get himself and the guys in his huddle ready.

Speaker 9 Well, I deal a lot with the young players, young offensive linemen, young receivers, young running backs, and be a mentor to them to help them develop into professionals and how they need to handle themselves week in, week out on the practice field, how they can develop into better players.

Speaker 9 You know, I took a lot of that onus on myself as a guy who's been around long enough to know and seen how it can be done well and how it can be done wrong sometimes.

Speaker 9 And just give those guys some advice.

Speaker 1 I like that answer because I think we obviously have fun at the expense of some backup quarterbacks, but I do think people don't realize what it takes to be a backup quarterback.

Speaker 1 And you can't just say, oh, this guy was a starter for 10 years. He's going to be a great backup.

Speaker 1 There's a certain personality trait, being a good teammate that not everyone is built for being a good backup. And good backups matter.
They really do.

Speaker 9 They do. I mean, first and foremost, your job is to be ready to go in and play and be able to execute the offense.

Speaker 9 And if something happens to the starter, you have to be able to go in there and be trusted to win games. And if you can do that, that's paramount first and foremost.

Speaker 9 And then from there, everything else is icing on the cake, but you have to be able to take on a certain role. And some guys aren't made for it.

Speaker 9 And some guys that were a starter and don't want to go back to being a backup or go to being a backup because, you know, they've only known one thing and they're not built to do that.

Speaker 9 And so that can be tough.

Speaker 9 But if you have the right mindset and you put, you know, yourself in the back seat and, you know, realize there's other things that you can bring to the table for the football team,

Speaker 9 you can last a long time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can make a lot of money too if you do it.

Speaker 3 There should be, you know what we should do? Here's an idea.

Speaker 3 If you, for when the day comes when you do decide to hang the cleats up, Matt, you should start an Elite 11 quarterback camp, but for backups, for future backups.

Speaker 3 So like just train them in all those skill sets that Trent Dilfer's out here flying kids out on his private jet, teaching them how to work out and do all these, you know, all these Elite 11 drills.

Speaker 3 Have you do like a tandem camp where you kind of prepare them for the back of the office type stuff?

Speaker 9 Well, if that's the case, then my group of quarterbacks would unseat the guys in the

Speaker 9 private planes. Mine that are riding

Speaker 9 the bus or the

Speaker 9 sprinter vans to go to camp, we'll unseat those guys on the private jet

Speaker 9 at his camp. That's right.

Speaker 3 Then you become the Elite 11 guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. This is all like a long, it's a project for you.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 one thing that you said kind of struck me

Speaker 3 about how you would prepare as, you know, you'd give the the defense a look as a scout team quarterback for whoever they're going to play against.

Speaker 3 Being on the Falcons, what was it like when they were like, Hey, Matt, can you emulate Cam Newton for the next uh for the next week?

Speaker 9 Yeah, sometimes that can get a little tricky when you have a guy like that.

Speaker 9 You know, you try to first for the defensive line, they like the cadence to sound the same as the other quarterbacks and how they say it so they can time up some of the things they're gonna hear or what's gonna be said at the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 9 So Cam has a unique cadence if you've ever heard it on T V or through the the T V copies. And so trying to emulate that was one thing.

Speaker 9 But then just running around and all that, you do the best you can.

Speaker 9 But obviously my fleet of foot is not the same as his or when we would play Russell Wilson and Seattle, you know, it was a little bit different. So, but you do the best you can.

Speaker 9 You just give the guys looks on escaping out of the pocket and them having to work on their scramble rules and things like that. And the defensive line is great because they can't touch us anyway.

Speaker 9 So something's not there. I just, you just find an alley and you get out of there.

Speaker 9 But obviously the quicks and the agility isn't quite the same, but that's, that's how each of us are built differently.

Speaker 3 Can you uh can you give us a sample of Cam Newton?

Speaker 9 Oh man, you know it, it didn't even seem how most of them are color number, color number, red 80, red 80, said hut. Yeah, I mean, it was it sounded like this is what we used to say in our room.

Speaker 9 And then, Cam, if you're listening, I would probably laugh at this, but man, it was like he was ordering sushi.

Speaker 9 It was like

Speaker 9 it was crazy. It was like

Speaker 9 it was wild, and so it was just say something that makes no sense really long. And it's like, stut.
But it all sounds like one jumbled-up mess.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So we, we talk about you being a backup, but you were also a really good starter.
And we have to give you credit for that. You played in the playoffs.
In that 2012 season for the Texans,

Speaker 1 did you know right away when you got in the playoffs that you were going to be playing at that four o'clock ESPN game against the Bengals?

Speaker 1 Like, that's when you think about that early Saturday game, wild card weekend, it's the Texans and the Bengals.

Speaker 9 Yeah. And, you you know, we had had that same situation the year before.
We had to play them. And so we were, we were familiar with it.

Speaker 9 And when we, when you find out you're that first game, man, that because it turns around pretty quick from your week 17 game to that Saturday afternoon. So it's great.

Speaker 9 You can just get ready and you can go play. And then when you win it, man, it's great.
You can sit back for the next day and a half and just watch the other teams battle that out.

Speaker 9 And it gives you an extra day rest usually for the next week, the divisional round game. So when we found out that we were playing them, we had played them a few times the past

Speaker 9 couple years leading up to that. And to have it at home was great.
And for me, I missed the playoffs the year before when I hurt my foot and in 2011.

Speaker 9 So to be back out there with my team and get a chance in the playoffs, man, it was such a cool

Speaker 9 deal and a cool time.

Speaker 1 Who ranked these guys? Case Keenum, TJ Yates a Hell, and then did you play with Tom Savage? Was he in that room too?

Speaker 9 No, Tom came the year after I left in 2014.

Speaker 1 All right, then throw in Matt Leinert because I think he was on that team too for a little stretch with you.

Speaker 9 Yeah, so, well, not in 2012, but in 2011, it was

Speaker 9 it was it was all four of us. It was me and Matt Leinert and TJ and Case.

Speaker 9 And when I got hurt, then

Speaker 9 Matt Leinert played against Jacksonlow next week, but he got hurt in the first half. So both of us got hurt with back-to-back weeks.

Speaker 9 And then TJ was a rookie out of North Carolina, and he went in and played the rest of the season, the last four or five games, and then in the playoffs. And he learned a ton.

Speaker 9 he really listened.

Speaker 9 And we had a, between Gary Kubiak, Greg Knapp, our quarterback coach, and me and Matt still being in the room, we tried to just be as much a sounding board and giving him advice and, you know, mentoring him as we could.

Speaker 9 But, you know, Matt was great.

Speaker 9 And TJ as a young player really did a lot for us and managed the football team.

Speaker 9 And then when Case came in, obviously what he did at Houston and in college, you know, speaks for itself with how he threw the football. So he was great to have in the room as well.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Rank all the Matts that you've played with at the quarterback position because you are, I feel like

Speaker 3 we're losing out on the era of the Matt quarterback. And they're kind of transitioning into being head coaches now.

Speaker 9 Well, look at this. Like when I got

Speaker 9 back here at Atlanta in 2016, our quarterback room was Matt Ryan, myself. Matt Sims was our third quarterback.
And our quarterback coach was Matt LaFleur. And

Speaker 9 we also had on our roster Matt Boscher as our punter, Matt Bryant as our kicker. I mean, every single digit player on our roster was Matt, and then our quarterback coach was Matt LaFloy.

Speaker 9 It was, it was like everyone had to have a nickname and have their own thing. And you need, but you always knew if someone said Matt, don't look because they're talking to Matt Ryan.

Speaker 9 So, you know, you knew not to listen to that. But between all those guys and that, you know, disaster of Matts that we had on our roster in 60, and I also had Matt Leinert.

Speaker 9 And I think that might be it, like, as far as the ones I play with, unless you guys did your homework and know somebody. It's been such a long career that I don't, I can't remember any other Matts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it is crazy. 17 years is like, I know we said it at the top, but it's, that's an insane career.
And you're not even done. You still have a few years left, as we said.

Speaker 3 He was retired yesterday. That's the shortest retirement, I think, in the history of the NFL.
Maybe Brett Favre has a beat on one of those, but that's pretty good.

Speaker 9 Well, the crazy thing about it is going back to 2004, how much the game has changed and really the world, social media, like just how everything.

Speaker 9 society has changed in the last 17 years and not to mention just on the football field between the white lines it's just, it's bizarre to think how far things have come and where the game's gone to.

Speaker 1 It's true, the offense. Like you basically watched the evolution of the modern game like completely change in these last 17 years.

Speaker 9 Absolutely. I mean, the evolution of, you know, the RPO system that colleges are now bringing and NFL teams are bringing to the field in the NFL game.
You know, it's a whole different ballgame.

Speaker 9 And it allows a lot of young players to play and have a lot of success early in their careers

Speaker 9 because they just have to read one guy and they either hand it off or you just throw a little slant or something behind it. So, you know, the game has just changed so much.

Speaker 9 And then just no huddles and defenses, the evolution of some of the zone pressures you see. I mean, it's bizarre how it's changed and how much more complex it's got.

Speaker 3 I think one thing I at least had forgotten about your career is that you were named the Pro Bowl MVP. At one point, so that was huge.

Speaker 3 That was the year when people were like, why is Matt Schaub going to the Pro? It wasn't your best year, but I guess a couple of guys have dropped out and you're gone.

Speaker 3 Uh, did you participate in that skills challenge that they had?

Speaker 9 So, when I was gone, they didn't have that, they had done away with it for a number of years, and then they brought it back here in the last, I don't know, four or five years, I guess, like you know, for TV and to generate a little bit more excitement because y'all, you know, how the game has gone.

Speaker 9 Sometimes it's it's kind of like watching practice or two-hand touch for like three quarters until you get to the fourth quarter, and then guys realize, okay, I'm trying to play for that money.

Speaker 9 And, you know, you get a big bonus if you win the game versus you lose the game. So they, I guess, just trying to develop some of that excitement.

Speaker 9 So they didn't have it when I was going to the Pro Bowl. In fact, the first one I went to

Speaker 9 was down in South Florida. It was the first year that they didn't go to Hawaii back in right before the lockout happened in 2010.
So it was the 2009 season,

Speaker 9 which was my best year. And, you know, got voted in.
And then, yeah, like you said, the second time I went, I did get in because if someone dropped out, but we had a really good run game that year.

Speaker 9 So we didn't have to pass the ball as much. Aaron Foster was rolling.
and so we had a very balanced attack in Houston that year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, in 2000, so we need to do this. We'll do some like Matt Schaub PR releases for you, but from 2005 to 2018,

Speaker 1 the only guy not named Drew Brees, Phil Rivers, Ben Rothesberger, Peyton Manning, or Tom Brady to win the passing title was Matt Schaub. I mean, that's, you might be a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 Now that I just put that out there, right?

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, if you look at the fact that he threw for 527 yards in one game, which is the second most all time, that still bothers my mind, by the way,

Speaker 3 that the record is, I think it's 554, but it was in 1951. Like, no one's broken that.
You talk about the game changing. Like, was there...

Speaker 1 That's bullshit.

Speaker 3 Was the 1951 record?

Speaker 1 They didn't have a clock.

Speaker 3 I don't feel like yards were the same distance back then. It was just like some guy with a peg leg

Speaker 3 stepping off feet as best as he could.

Speaker 1 Wait, but I'm looking at this, Matt. Like, would you say Drew Brees is a Hall of Famer, Matt? 100%.
Okay, what about Phil Rivers?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I think he's got a chance. Yeah, especially what he might do this year in the playoffs.
We'll see.

Speaker 1 Okay, what about Ben Rothesberger? Yes. Okay, what about Peyton Manning? Yeah, definitely.
Okay, what about Tom Brady? You know it.

Speaker 1 Okay, what about the other guy who led the league in passing from 2005 to 2018, Matt Schaub?

Speaker 1 See,

Speaker 1 we just did that now.

Speaker 9 Well, you know, just the fact that I'm on here with you guys and you're saying this, man, you're really, my ego, I might just go out and sign and play for 10 more years. I don't know.

Speaker 9 You guys are really doing me some good right now, but no, I don't think so. I mean, I didn't start long enough.
I didn't have enough of that success like those other guys, but

Speaker 9 that's how it happens sometimes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let us let us now. We built you up.
Let us tear you down.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about the pick six record. Let's talk about the pick six records.
That's also Hall of Fame worthy on its own right. When you got to, what was it? How many games in a row?

Speaker 8 Four.

Speaker 1 When you got to the fourth, where you're like, fuck, I don't want to play anymore.

Speaker 9 When I look back at that year in 2013, I go through each one of those throws as they happened because there were a lot of good throws around those four mistakes, you know, but obviously those were enhanced and those were scrutinized and they were big plays.

Speaker 9 And, you know, I put my team in a very bad position. But yeah, I mean, there were, there were moments like, man,

Speaker 9 I'm done. Like, this is, this is terrible.
But at the same time,

Speaker 9 you had to reflect on some of the good with those bad plays and there were a lot of good. And, you know, obviously the team decided to move on after that year without me.

Speaker 9 And so I had to, you know, refocus my career and what I wanted to do. But man, those were some tough times.
But hey, even negative records have some positive twist to them. You're known for something.

Speaker 9 You had something happen to you. And it's just like negative publicity is good publicity because people are talking about you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they say you learn more from your mistakes than you do from your successes. So at the end of that season, you were a genius.

Speaker 9 That's one way to look at it for sure.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 3 it was interesting because when it was happening,

Speaker 3 when I was watching it, my mindset is if I were him, I would probably fake an injury, but that's because I'm a loser and I'll never be able to be an NFL quarterback.

Speaker 3 That's the mindset of an idiot like me. With you, were you like using it as motivation?

Speaker 3 Were you like ever down to a dark place where you were considering like maybe I shouldn't be a starting quarterback ever again?

Speaker 9 No, you know, when I was going through it, I never thought about that because I knew I could still play and I knew I could still be a starter.

Speaker 9 It's about an opportunity, you know, and I let let one opportunity slip there in Houston after seven years.

Speaker 9 But, you know, just to be able to get another one, that's what I was redirecting my mindset, my focus to, because I knew what I could bring to a team and what I could do on the football field.

Speaker 9 But that was a tough time. But when I look at it, the first one when it happened, we won the game still.
We came back and beat Tennessee at home in week two. Then we had Seattle in week three.

Speaker 9 We had them on the ropes.

Speaker 9 You know, we had the ball with the lead when that one happened, when Richard Sherman, you know, intercepted intercepted it which you know was a big mistake on third down should have thrown it away but then the other two though you know they happen in losses at baltimore and then at san francisco so uh but when you have one and you win sometimes it can kind of get masked over you know you're going to hide some of your mistakes when you win so uh but when they happen and you lose or you lose by a score or something you know like that that's a crucial play in the game especially late in the football game i mean obviously it gets magnified even more all right so let me spin it back to a positive i got two for you one is,

Speaker 1 I think the way our brains work, every like five years, I just added an extra one. So if you had asked me what Matt Schaub's pick six record was, I would have said six games.

Speaker 1 So we've reset it to four. I know.
I'm sorry. That's just by like 2040, I would have been like, yeah, Matt Schaub once threw a pick six in 16 straight games.
It was crazy. In fact,

Speaker 5 it would be a record forever.

Speaker 3 I actually think I did say last night we were taping another show.

Speaker 3 I think I did say that it was six games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it came up in a a trivial game. We've reset.

Speaker 3 We've reset.

Speaker 1 So it's four. We've reset, but and then here's the other spin zone

Speaker 1 who we're a fan of this guy as well. But you got a promising young quarterback in Jameis Winston, who if he gets another shot, we could erase that record of four.

Speaker 9 We could. And let me just tell you this.
Early in this season, if you let's go back a little bit. Tom Brady, obviously, is going to Tampa Bay.
He had a couple rough weeks to start the season. Yep.

Speaker 9 Do you know what? Because last year, his last throw in New England against Tennessee was a pick six to Logan Ryan, correct? Yeah, that's when he started this year.

Speaker 9 He started this year with a pick six in week one and week two. So if you look at the records, yes, I had four straight games.
We got to week two. Tom Brady was three straight games with a pick six.

Speaker 9 So I was sitting there week three. I was like, Tom,

Speaker 1 please throw another one so you can tide with me.

Speaker 9 It would have been great to just be right there with Tom with that record.

Speaker 1 You would have been a hall of favor. Yeah, because it would have been another conversation with Tom Brady.

Speaker 9 It would have been

Speaker 9 great to be right there, have those names neck and neck. But unfortunately, he didn't have one in week three, so he was stuck at three games in a row.

Speaker 9 But I was almost there, tied with him with that one.

Speaker 3 Yeah. One other really memorable time from your stint in Houston was the Andre Johnson fight when he just beat the hell out of Cortland Finnegan.

Speaker 3 Oh, yes. How many times did you guys watch that in the film film room afterwards?

Speaker 9 I think that's all we watched. We didn't even watch the game film after that game because we won like 20 to nothing.
We handled them pretty good. And we just watched that on loop for like an hour.

Speaker 9 And I think we spliced there because that was a long time coming. That was probably two or three years, you know, boiling.

Speaker 9 And it came to a head that game. And they were playing like their third string quarterback.
We handled them defensively. We ran the football.
We did whatever we want offensively.

Speaker 9 And it just got to that point where

Speaker 9 Cortland was talking to our sideline and then Andre had just had enough and it takes a lot to rattle andre johnson but you could tell in the huddle like he was telling the official when we were getting in the huddle before that play because it had been going a couple plays before that and he looked at me he goes something's about to happen and i i i remember we ran a run play away from it and so i hand it off and i'm carrying out my keep fake my boot fake away from it and i just turn and i see dre just has him locked up rips his helmet off and just gives him a

Speaker 9 i was standing there just going like this just giving him an ovation yes yes

Speaker 9 and everyone loved it but it had been year it had been years and am

Speaker 9 texts from all different guys across the league that we knew and just being like thank you finally

Speaker 1 you know got a little fine but i think that got taken care of by like guys all over the league that's amazing receivers all over the league for that's amazing um what about i mean we have to bring up you lost a piece of your ear You lost a piece of your ear in a football game.

Speaker 1 Has it grown back? Well, how does that work?

Speaker 9 Yeah, so I saw last night on Twitter, you put the picture of me at the podium against Denver, you know, after that game when my ear got mangled and you can see it was just disgusting and like it was bad.

Speaker 9 But what happened was when I didn't lose part of my ear, when I got hit by Joe Mays in that game and my helmet went flying, the little speaker for the Coastal Quarterback Communication System sits right behind your ear.

Speaker 9 And when my helmet flew off, the plastic edge of it just sliced my ear and, you know, it was bleeding pretty good.

Speaker 9 And they just put like whatever clotting agent or that stuff to stop the bleeding all over it and so

Speaker 9 it like adheres and sticks and doesn't wash off or nothing so that's why it looked so bad when i got done the uh press conference and and got out of the game but i didn't lose a pizza wedge of a little triangle in my ear it just sliced pretty good and uh i think it was made more of a big deal than i really wanted to get a picture of it right now

Speaker 1 matt no we're gonna we're gonna help you here dude because you're now if you are actually retired and you're in the media world and you're you know the legend of matt shaub has to grow you lost your entire ear let's see your ear right now let's see that left ear it's it's it's an artificial ear you're right it is it's fake it's not mine prosthetic they brought they

Speaker 9 that's all it is yeah you're right

Speaker 1 maybe you lost part of your ear and it grew back really fast yeah you gotta let that look you gotta let like my tweet like it does look when i say oh yeah and matt shaub's the toughest guy ever because he lost part of his ear you just gotta let that just go well What you should have tied to it is the play because it looks really bad when the helmet goes flying and everything like that.

Speaker 9 I mean, it looked really bad. And the funny thing about it is Joe Mays, the linebacker for Denver that hit me, he was on our team in Houston the next year.
And he was my teammate the following year.

Speaker 1 Sorry about that. He's like,

Speaker 1 technology is incredible. You have a full ear again.

Speaker 1 He's like, find my idea.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I've been thinking this whole year that you were never going to hear it again.

Speaker 9 And he's the nicest guy. So the day he signs, I'm in eating lunch with Dwayne Brown, who was our left tackle at the time.
Big dude, awesome guy.

Speaker 9 And our player development guy comes up and goes, Hey, we signed a player. Can you guys come over and meet him?

Speaker 9 And as soon as I walk over to the table and I see Joe there, Joe just puts his head down. He's just like, Man, are you all right?

Speaker 9 And I was like, Yeah, I brought Dwayne over here because we got something we got to talk about.

Speaker 9 I mean, it was water under the bridge at that point, but man, it was funny to have him be on the team after what happened the year before. All right,

Speaker 1 put that on the PR list. Match up for Hall of Fame, the greatest one-year quarterback of all time.
That's also a fun thing.

Speaker 3 I'm looking at the YouTube comments actually underneath the video of you getting your ear taken off by Joe Mays.

Speaker 3 One guy says, this is FGC Foobles. He says, I looked up this hit when I saw Joe Mays was on the Texans.
Mays owes Shaub a steak dinner for this hit. Did he ever buy you a steak dinner?

Speaker 9 I never got the steak dinner.

Speaker 9 No,

Speaker 9 I never got a meal from Joe on that one, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 Didn't eat it.

Speaker 3 Okay, WWK Frosty said, yeah, I lost a piece of my ear too, but I was fine in all caps. So he's tougher than you.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 3 Silly Goose says, I was shocked when I looked this up in December of 2020 that Schaub is still in the NFL.

Speaker 3 So just making news all over the place to the YouTube commenters.

Speaker 1 That's fine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So I want to bring up one more thing.
Now, for people who are listening, they're going to be like, hey, why didn't you bring up Dan Quinn kicking a field goal in San Francisco in 2015?

Speaker 1 You weren't on the Falcons yet in that year. But you were on the year the next year going to the Super Bowl.
What after the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 We've had Matt Ryan ryan on the show uh great interview great guy i would imagine like obviously for him it's devastating for you it's devastating but it's probably a little less devastating do you just like mimic his emotions and like you know like man that really sucked like how do you what's the first thing you say to matt ryan after that game

Speaker 9 there's not at the time there's nothing you can say there's nothing that makes it go away or makes it any better in the moment um i think you wait a few days maybe a week, and you get together, play golf or whatever, and you kind of rehash things.

Speaker 9 But at the time, you know, yeah, I mean, it was as devastating for me, I think, as anybody else, because you put in so much and you put in so much work to get to that point, albeit I'm not on the field performing, I'm still ready to do so or helping the team in whatever capacity I could.

Speaker 9 And at that point, you know, I had had a long career and that was my opportunity to be a part of a championship football team after a lot of hard work and time put in. And who knows?

Speaker 9 you never know when you're going to get another opportunity. You don't know.
That could be it. You know, it's, it could be one and never again.

Speaker 9 And when you miss out on that opportunity to get that ring, when you had things firmly in control through three quarters,

Speaker 9 you know, man, that's tough. And there was nothing I could say to Matt going to make it better or, you know, change.

Speaker 9 what had happened. It was just shocking.

Speaker 3 Yeah. On the sidelines during that game, during the second half, could you sense that there was, like, I don't know if there's a sense of panic or a sense of, oh my God, is this going to happen?

Speaker 3 Or was it still optimistic going into the fourth quarter? Like, we can still do this. We can still pull this out.

Speaker 9 Heck yeah. I mean, there was still optimism.
I mean, we had been rolling all through December, all through January as a football team.

Speaker 9 And, you know, there wasn't any moments where we had big leads and we had lost them or whatever. We were handling people pretty good.

Speaker 9 So, I mean, it was just a matter of let's go down and get one more score offensively in one of those drives or like let's just get one stop defensively.

Speaker 9 And obviously, their their offense had been rolling and they went up and down the field a couple times on us defensively and scored. And we just couldn't get anything going offensively.

Speaker 9 And we have one play, the one where Matt fumbled, Dante How Tower came in unblocked and got a sack fumble and put them in good field position.

Speaker 9 We had a guy open down the field and we just had an error in protection up front.

Speaker 9 And, you know, if Matt could have got that ball off, we would have had a touchdown easily and put that game out of reach to where they didn't have enough possessions left.

Speaker 9 But then we still had the opportunity when we got down there and late in the game when we were still up, I believe, eight.

Speaker 9 And, you know, we had the sack, the holding, and missed an opportunity to just put some more points on the board and put it out of reach.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Chris Long, your fellow Cavalier, really stuck it to you in that game.

Speaker 1 What was he like?

Speaker 3 I have to assume that you probably knew of Chris Long when you were at UVA because of the pedigree. He may have come on a recruiting visit.

Speaker 3 Was he more of a Scarface poster guy or a Pink Floyd poster guy?

Speaker 9 if you know what i'm saying oh i think uh

Speaker 9 chris at that time i think he was more of a pink floyd type of poster guy

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 9 but um you know chris lived in the area and you know his family they had a place outside of charlottesville so he was around a lot uh came on a recruiting visit so everyone knew him and i mean man when he when he was coming out of high school he looked like he could go right into the nfl play defensive line he was you know he he was built and put together you could tell he had been working out with his dad and his brother since like the age of two right doing push-ups and squats and leg presses and all that.

Speaker 9 But what a great dude and a great guy.

Speaker 9 And, you know, man, when I was leaving Virginia and he was coming in, you knew the program and everything like that was in really good hands with a guy like that,

Speaker 9 with his pedigree and where he had come from. So, yeah, we did over we overlapped just a little bit there on weekends and recruiting visits.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is a great dude. He's a good friend of ours.
All right. So I had one last question or kind of statement.

Speaker 1 So you have a podcast that you're going to maybe pick back up called The Quarterback Corner with Doug Fluty. Now,

Speaker 1 so podcasting, I would assume some golf. And are you going to do the retired quarterback thing where it's like, it's time for me to be a dad?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 9 first and foremost, yes, I'm going to be a dad with my five kids. My wife has done so much to let me go out and play football and play a game.

Speaker 9 So I'm going to be in car line picking up kids, dropping off kids here for a little while and evaluate options, what might be next. But I'm going to do that.

Speaker 9 I'm going to play a little golf, you know, spend some time just to decompress after a long career. But we'll see what's next.
I mean, I'll see what Doug Fluti and Meggie Hetzel want to do.

Speaker 9 We want to do. We did all through, I guess, late spring and summer and early in the season, did a podcast at the quarterback corner.

Speaker 9 It was great to talk sports, talk football, you know, while everything was kind of shut down and no one really knew what was going to happen.

Speaker 9 And it gave us an opportunity to just talk shop and talk X's and O's and do things like that. So we'll see if that comes back

Speaker 9 in the fold. And after that, who knows? You know, might play again.
Who knows?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you're not retired. we're gonna get you back

Speaker 1 who knows yeah

Speaker 1 the paper i have not i have not seen any retirement paperwork so we'll see we'll see what happens i actually now in talking to you and thinking about this i think you have the greatest life ever because you now have i mean this isn't breaking news people can contracts in the nfl are public you are wealthy uh you had a 17-year career and you're in that perfect spot where people probably don't hassle you when you're like shopping at the grocery store or in the car line.

Speaker 1 But when like every now and then someone will be like, hey, what'd you do? And you're like, oh, I played a little football. Like, oh, really? Like college, high school? Like, no, 17 years in the NFL.

Speaker 1 That's like the greatest mic drop that you can throw out there in like small talk conversation.

Speaker 9 Well, I appreciate that. And then you get follow-up with, what do you do?

Speaker 9 You know, and then, you know, it's funny to see people's reaction when you say that, like when you respond with play football, whatever.

Speaker 1 And then, what do you do?

Speaker 9 You know, because then when you show interest, and then there's like, well, it's not i get but it but it's still interesting but it's like but to most people it's not as interesting as playing football so i mean definitely blessed and fortunate to have done this yeah you should i mean just a pro tip if you do pick up the podcast again keep saying oh i played football in the nfl don't say podcast because when people ask us what we do and we say podcast they immediately are like so you're you're like a a burned out loser Well, I think my response is just going to be, I went on pardon my take once for 30 minutes, got roasted by these guys.

Speaker 9 They tried to build me up, they knocked me down, but hey, I made it through unscathed. That's going to be my claim to fame.

Speaker 3 No, we're building you back up again. Yeah, that's coaching, baby.
That's coaching. I do feel like there is some buzz around Matt Shop for the Hall of Fame.
I say there.

Speaker 1 There's some buzz. Pulpable buzz.
No, I've heard there's people in this room. In this room, specifically.

Speaker 3 Well, that's where it starts. Every idea has to start somewhere.
There's people. There's a little seed that we're pouring water on right now.

Speaker 1 Here's what we're going to do, Matt.

Speaker 1 We got an acclaimed Big J journalist who's right off camera he is our former intern but full-time employee jake marsh who went to syracuse he knows the journalism world he's going to write a blog that says is matt shaub a hall of famer and we're going to cherry pick all those stats and we're going to get the buzz going oh appreciate it you guys are the best that'd be great it's going to happen we just actually i was looking at it more we just need to get deshaun watson off the texans because right now you own like every houston texans uh record well those things are made to be broken and he he he eclipsed the single season passing thing the other day.

Speaker 9 So, I mean, he's going to rattle off and roll off all of those.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing.

Speaker 3 He never took the 527 yards.

Speaker 1 Jake, put down on the blog, Matt Shob, great player, even better guy. Because that was an even better guy answer.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 3 what about your holding ability?

Speaker 3 Have you ever botched a hold?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Nope. Say no.
No,

Speaker 9 I don't think so. No, I haven't.

Speaker 1 Perfect career hold.

Speaker 9 The one fire call that I had at Chicago back in 2006.

Speaker 9 I'm not driving anyone under the bus, but you know, it was kind of a rough snap. It was like minus 30 degrees.
So the snap was I had to smother it in the ground, couldn't get it up.

Speaker 1 And so we had a little fire call.

Speaker 3 That one doesn't count. So it was the best holder in the history of the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. All right.
Well, Matt.

Speaker 9 They always say the more you can do, if you can hold, you can do all this different stuff, then you can last 17 years. Yes.

Speaker 1 We really appreciate you joining us, man, especially short notice. Congrats on the kind of retirement, but not retirement.

Speaker 1 Congrats on continuing your career as breaking news on Pardon My Take, but we really appreciate it, man.

Speaker 3 I'll play for another five years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're good. So when you do retire officially, we'll have you back on.

Speaker 9 I appreciate it, guys. Thank you.
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks so much, man.

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Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on our good friend john kuhn we're we talked about the low man to start the show we thought we would get john kuhn on uh fullback extraordinaire voice of the packers on radio i don't even know what you do i don't really care dude let's just get to it fuck you

Speaker 8 i know you're i know you're man i jumped on you on twitter when you said you hated Aaron Rodgers, and you probably should hate Aaron Rodgers, but I had to. You left it wide open.

Speaker 3 Let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 Does Aaron Rodgers, you know him, you know the guy. Does he take special pleasure in beating the Bears? Because it feels that way.

Speaker 8 You're damn skippy. It just comes easy to him.
It's like second nature. Some people are really good at what they do.
And when he plays the Bears, it's like he's in an extra groove.

Speaker 8 It's like he hits an extra gear.

Speaker 3 Let me ask you this because we've discussed the Packers all year, and the word that has come up more often than not is soft.

Speaker 1 The S word.

Speaker 3 Are the Packers, in fact, soft?

Speaker 3 Because I feel like they kind of found an edge once the weather started to turn. Once it became football weather in Lambeau, that's when they started to turn.

Speaker 8 You know, it's crazy because I think this team that has a 13-3 record, just like last year's 13-3 record, is entirely different.

Speaker 8 One of the words that was brought up last year a lot with this Green Bay Packer team was soft. You're exactly right.

Speaker 8 And I think that Moniker kind of stayed with them coming into 2020, but they have seemed to remove that the last six weeks of the regular season and going into 2021.

Speaker 8 I can't say, I don't think anybody out there can say they're soft anymore.

Speaker 8 The way this defense has been playing, especially with what it did against Tennessee when they were the number one offense in the league. So to me.

Speaker 8 This is the best Green Bay Packer football team probably in a decade.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I so I obviously I'm biased, obviously, I have hate in my heart, but I also do pride myself on at least telling like somewhat truths.

Speaker 1 Last year, all year, I was like, they're frauds, they will get exposed. That happened this year.
Anyone who listens to this show knows that I've clammed up in the last month.

Speaker 1 I actually said the Tennessee game was essentially like, if the Packers win that game convincingly, I will officially be on, I'm nervous about the Packers winning the Super Bowl watch.

Speaker 1 I do not think they're frauds. I do agree with you that they're very good this year.
What is, though, what's the weakness?

Speaker 1 Like, what's the one, or maybe it's not even a specific unit, but like, what's the game flow that can get them kind of fucked up if you're an opponent looking at the NFC playoffs?

Speaker 8 You know, Kat, this is going to piss you off because I think the game plan offensively is a lot what the Bears did the last game, right?

Speaker 8 The way they started the game, you got to control the clock, you got to limit possessions for Aaron Rodgers, and the Bears did that.

Speaker 8 Where they failed in their game plan is you got to do it for 60 minutes and you got to score touchdowns.

Speaker 8 That's the only way you're going to beat this team this year because their offense is so efficient, number one in the red zone.

Speaker 8 And the way that they can score either quick as hell or take seven and a half, eight minutes off the clock, it doesn't really matter. They can beat you multiple ways on offense.

Speaker 8 So your best bet playing them is keep them on the sideline.

Speaker 8 I think a team's going to have to run the ball effectively, and then their defense is going to have to get pressure with four or five because you cannot leave the back end wide open and put a linebacker on the fastest man on the field and expect that to turn out okay.

Speaker 3 Okay, well, what about this? What about the Packers beating themselves?

Speaker 1 Because the last man

Speaker 1 the fastest man on the field, are you talking about MVS? Because he can't catch. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 listen, what would you rather have, big cat? Would you rather have one for two or would you rather have zero for zero?

Speaker 8 So I just say run that son of a bitch down the middle of the field every time, throw it to him, and you get a touchdown 50%.

Speaker 8 I'll call heads, you call tails, and we'll see what we get.

Speaker 3 But my favorite thing to talk about when it comes to like a really great team is to be like, well, they can beat themselves. So their own worst enemy could be themselves in the wrong instance.

Speaker 3 Like earlier this year, I remember they played the Bucs, and Aaron Rodgers sucked against the Bucs. So if Aaron, that was like his little baby thing.
That was the rare game where

Speaker 3 he was doing baby pumps, and

Speaker 3 he was throwing pick sixes. So what happened that game? Because I need to go back in time and figure out who he was mad at.
Was he mad at LaFleur? Were they at each other's throats before that game?

Speaker 3 And he was like, I'm going to go out there and try to do some work.

Speaker 8 No, that game was crazy. Yeah, that game was crazy.

Speaker 8 And I'm going to go back in and watch it again this week because that's who I think they're going to have to play here in the divisional round when it comes around. But what? They started that game.

Speaker 1 What? Wait, do you know what?

Speaker 3 Do you know who the Bucs are playing? Wait, that's a double diss.

Speaker 1 It's a two. Yeah, it's a twofer.
Because if the Bears win, they play the Packers. Yeah, it's a twofer.
And she's saying the Bears and the Washington football team are out.

Speaker 1 If you want to come on this podcast and spit in our faces, maybe I need to re-evaluate your your credentials for the Low Man Council.

Speaker 8 Oh, come on, guys. Listen, I'm just doing lockdown parlays here.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm trying to do.

Speaker 8 I'm trying to throw you a couple parlays here.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
So we're supposed to,

Speaker 8 yeah, that Buccaneers game was a wild game.

Speaker 8 Aaron and Matt LaFleur actually handled the pressure that the Bucs threw at them early and

Speaker 8 led, you know, 10-0. I thought the way that they handled that was tremendous.
However,

Speaker 8 their cornerbacks, the Bucs, they're notorious for this. If you ask scouts around the league, their corners like to sit down there and bait and jump on routes.
And they got Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 8 They got the best quarterback in the game this year. They baited him right into that quick pass to Devontae Adams that we see him complete every single week.

Speaker 8 But that's the defensive scheme that they like to run. And when you score a touchdown defensively and then next series, you intercept the ball and put it down on the one yard line.

Speaker 8 That's an enormous momentum swing. And then, as you guys remember, David Battiari left that game.

Speaker 8 Making a switch mid-game is one of the hardest things to do for an offense, especially an offensive lineman going from the right side of the line to the left side of the line they were in all kinds of trouble a world of hurt they were just kind of hit by a tidal wave there i don't know if it plays out the same way um if they play each other but definitely the buccaneers are one of those teams that have a set of skills that can compete with the packers coming into lambda field so who so so the bucks and then what would you say like ranking the other because listen i know that you've already written off the bears in the washington football team that's okay we said on monday's show we're just here for a good time.

Speaker 8 Oh, I don't want to see Washington either.

Speaker 1 There you go. Yeah, yeah.
You don't want to see the Bears.

Speaker 1 It's hard to beat a team three times, John.

Speaker 8 I have no fear of the Bears this year, honestly.

Speaker 8 And no,

Speaker 8 this is not a schneid on the Bears, but this year,

Speaker 8 the trade that they had with, you know.

Speaker 8 swapping defensive end for defensive end with Leonard and Quinn, it just has not worked out in their favor. That seems to have hurt Khalil Mack.

Speaker 8 And when Akeem Hicks isn't being absolutely dominant in his position, drawing all kinds of attention, Khalil Mack isn't the same guy.

Speaker 8 He's getting too much double teams, too much attention from offensive coordinators to really be impactful this year.

Speaker 8 And most of that has to do with Leonard being out there now in LA and not with the Bears anymore.

Speaker 1 Did you just did you just say that Akeem Hicks might be the most important player on the Bears defense?

Speaker 8 I've been calling that all year long.

Speaker 1 No, I've been calling that forever. All right, you're a smart guy.
Your football credentials, check out.

Speaker 1 Wait, who's the most important player on the the uh packers defense and offense give it to us because this is a this is when you can separate the true football fans from the casual football fans there's a difference between best player and most important player so who's who is it for both teams for both sides well well it's it's aaron rodgers they've played six games now

Speaker 8 they played six games without the vante adams the last two years and they've won all six yeah aaron jones is the most important player yeah i was gonna say robert tonyon you know bobby Tanyon is, and we say it Tonyon now, fellas.

Speaker 8 Yeah. We got to make sure we get it phonetically correct.
But Aaron Jones, yes, but gosh, man, how many times have we seen Jamal Williams and even A.J.

Speaker 8 Dillon a few weeks ago come in and do what Aaron Jones was not doing at that point in time in the game? Really bring an edge, bring a hard downhill physical run.

Speaker 8 I think Aaron Rodgers, you know, you talked about that Bucs game. That's really the only blip on his radar, his season.
Everything else, he's been absolutely lights out.

Speaker 8 And plus, guys, he gets the plays adjusted at the line of scrimmage. He's running with Flora's all.

Speaker 8 He's basically walking up to the line of scrimmage every time with two to three plays, and he calls the play at the line of scrimmage for the offense. It's got to be Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 8 But on defense, I honestly think the biggest impact player, the reason why their defense has really come along these last few weeks, is because Adrian Amos is dropped in the box.

Speaker 8 Kat, that's going to make you mad.

Speaker 8 But he's dropped down in the box, but that guy has speed to cover you know the free safety back end spot but him being in the box in tighter quarters and not shying away from physicality being an aggressive type of defender really suits his set of skills and it was a spot the Packers were missing for the longest time when they go you know dime or or what they call Bronco so I feel like what you brought up with Aaron Rodgers is really interesting about how like LaFleur has given him this freedom because it sounds a lot like a parent of a child.

Speaker 3 And this is like a teacher thing too, where you want to make the student or the kid feel like they're in control. So you give them two options that you've already pre-selected.

Speaker 3 So you're like, do you want to do the dishes or take out the trash? And then they're like, well, I'll take out the trash.

Speaker 3 But in reality, you just made them do a chore that you needed done, but they feel like they're in control of it.

Speaker 3 Would you say that LaFleur's like biggest strength is that he makes Aaron Rodgers feel like he's the alpha?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, you're going to win an MVP award. So at some point in time um you got to really determine who the alpha is here but you make a great point uh matt lafour with what he's done this year um

Speaker 8 in the course of two years last year this offense was not like this and it's pretty much the same casting characters guys so what's what's been the change what's been the difference yeah robert tanya was injured last year he had less catches last year than he has touchdowns this year That's awesome.

Speaker 8 That's because he was injured. However, the rest of this offense is basically the same as what it was last year.
And it's just that much better.

Speaker 8 I think Matt LaFour really is using his guys to their set of skills. Like I said, forget messing around with MVS anywhere near the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 8 Run his ass straight down the middle of the field and make the whole defense turn around and run backwards, trying to chase him. He's done a great job with that.

Speaker 8 He's done a great job with the connection with Aaron and Devontae Adams. And I don't really know what else to say about this offense other than they're the best in the league.

Speaker 1 Well, let me say this, and you should maybe talk to Aaron about this. Could you imagine, and this is just, I'm just throwing this out there.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine this offense if they had Chase Claypool or T. Higgins on it?

Speaker 1 Those guys were available when they drafted a backup quarterback. Just saying, that would be insane.

Speaker 8 It would be incredible. I mean, they would be, they would have broken all the records.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's crazy, John. Sounds like they should have.

Speaker 3 He would have won the MVP for sure.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 3 Nobody'd be talking about Derrick Henry as a possible candidate.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 What about, well, maybe it's, I mean, I'm looking back over the timeline of this last year, back in June or July, Danica and her crystals left town.

Speaker 3 All of a sudden, Aaron Rodgers' talent is fully unleashed on us. Yeah.
With the crystals holding him back.

Speaker 1 I actually do think that in a weird way, like,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers probably never say this out loud, but like, well, actually, no, I think he said something like this after the draft, but like drafting Jordan Love,

Speaker 1 he does seem like a chip on his shoulder type of guy where it's like, if people, I mean, we've heard the stories about how getting past in his draft and falling all the way in that green room like pissed him off.

Speaker 1 So when he's pissed off, he clearly plays better.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, honestly, was the drafting of Jordan Love? Is that what inspired Aaron Rodgers to be this great this year? I don't know.

Speaker 8 Aaron credits a pass that he watched himself throw from practice in 2010.

Speaker 8 I don't know if I buy that. He also credits squatting 405 pounds now.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I buy that. I don't believe that.
No, I don't believe that.

Speaker 3 Wait, he went back and watched a pass that he threw from 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 What was he doing? I actually do believe that because he's just going back.

Speaker 8 He's a psychologist.

Speaker 8 He has not

Speaker 8 gone into the detail of this pass.

Speaker 8 He promised us that he will let us know at the end of the season what the pass was, who it was to, all the details about it, and why it made such an impact on him this year.

Speaker 8 And yeah, that might be a cool little niche story. And squatting 405 pounds might be a great story for a quarterback.
But guys, you saw the Jordan documentary, right?

Speaker 8 Because that's, I mean, that's what it was. It was a Jordan documentary.
Think about how many times he said, and that's when I made it personal. And what did he do every time he made it personal?

Speaker 8 He was an absolute rock star. Did Aaron Rodgers make it personal this year?

Speaker 9 I think so.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Um, the so he punched Jordan Love in the face during practice,

Speaker 1 correct? Um, all right, let's let's talk real quick, uh, John, about the low man trophy. So

Speaker 1 this is obviously going out on Wednesday. We already had it, but can you tell us who you voted for for and why?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I voted for Mason Stocky to win it. And you talk about a guy who started the season on his football team with the first touchdown of the year.
And he goes to fullback U.

Speaker 8 I know Wisconsin fullbacks have won this award like three years in a row, but I still can't help it.

Speaker 8 He played in all the games for the Badgers this year. He played very well.
In fact, they had a couple packages where they had three fullbacks in the backfield at the same time. Who doesn't love that?

Speaker 8 That's like a fullback's wet dream. So, yeah, I had to go with Mason Stocky as my vote.

Speaker 8 Plus, I'm trying to take the guy under my wing and do a little bit of training with him this offseason and see if I can't help him out before he gets into the league, you know, get a couple fullback assists next year.

Speaker 3 Hell yeah, I like that.

Speaker 3 It's kind of one of these damned if you do, damned if you don't situations with Wisconsin fullbacks because they've got so many of them.

Speaker 3 And it was awesome watching them in the Mayo Bowl when they had plays where they'd have the Mayo Bowl was awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they'd have like two fullbacks blocking for a third fullback who was getting the carry.

Speaker 3 and but it might be a situation where they split each other's votes in fact since this is coming out on wednesday i can tell you this is embargoed though john you can't say this until after 6 p.m eastern tonight um he won't tell anybody he came in second place so it was the closest vote okay he lost by he lost by tell me who got was it army was it the army fullback it was yeah it was the buchanan ball that's that okay that i can live with that i can when you played 11 games with covid this year and you basically you know said this to covid i can appreciate that to a guy who goes out there and runs the football in a wing tink in a wing tee style option offense.

Speaker 8 That's good. I'm glad to hear that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's 260 pounds, six feet.

Speaker 1 So like that's a, he is, he is a bowling ball. That's hilarious.

Speaker 3 So yeah, he is the winner. We appreciate you being on the committee.

Speaker 3 I had a quick question for you about like end of the year stuff. So you've played on the Saints, obviously.
You played for Sean Payton. Does he really try to get all of his guys paid?

Speaker 3 Like, does he know going into games, this guy, if he gets, you know, two more receptions or if this guy scores one more rushing touchdown, he hits an escalator in the contract.

Speaker 3 I'm going to try to get him some more of the owner's money. And that's why players like playing for me.

Speaker 8 He is such a player's coach. He's a terrific mind.
He loves to find ways to get his stars the ball at specific times when they can be successful. So, yeah, so they can reap all their rewards.

Speaker 8 But I'll take it a step further. It's not just getting paid.
I can remember Michael Thomas's second year.

Speaker 8 He had an opportunity to have the most catches out of anybody in NFL history through their first two seasons. And we were playing down in Tampa.
We had a division locked up.

Speaker 8 We had seen that Carolina had already lost, so we were safe to lose the game, and we were getting beat.

Speaker 8 And we throw, I thought it was two, three back-to-back, just wide receiver hitches to Michael Thomas. And I'm thinking to myself, what the hell? are you doing right now?

Speaker 8 You're going to get Mike T hurt.

Speaker 8 We need him for the playoffs because he was balling at that time what is going on i found out after the game that he did it just so that michael thomas could set that nfl record i thought that was pretty cool that is cool um all right john worst of luck to you dude um

Speaker 1 i'm worried i'm actually worried i'm very very worried about the packers like i said i i am at least honest that like last year i felt confident that they were going to blow it this year i don't feel as confident i'm just praying I'm just praying.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I don't know.
I just hate

Speaker 1 the Bears and the Packers games are the worst days of my life you know i'll tell you the truth uh we won it in 2010.

Speaker 8 um 2011 i felt like we were going to win it um 2014

Speaker 8 um i felt we had a very good shot to win it but we had to travel to seattle every other year i played i was scared to death of of some team out there that we would have to face at some point in time Even last year for this Packer team, I had some reservations.

Speaker 8 This year, honestly, I look around and I just, I don't know if it's something in the stars, how efficient Aaron Rodgers and the offense is, or the fact that the defense is actually like borderline right on the edge, top 10 defense, which Aaron Rodgers has almost never had, or maybe it's all three of them combined.

Speaker 8 I do, man. I really think they have a strong chance to make a case for that Super Bowl championship.

Speaker 3 So who's the one team, though, that can do it? Like, to be, I know you said earlier, the football team, you don't want to see them, but you're just being nice to me.

Speaker 3 They do have Team of Destiny vibes. Would it be the Saints?

Speaker 1 Well, the thing,

Speaker 8 well,

Speaker 8 no, I'm not, and I love the Saints, and I would love nothing more than an NFC championship with the Packers, Saints, and just let them go at it, let them duel it out.

Speaker 8 Because I imagine how Sean Payton would coach that game. He would try and take the ball as much as possible out of his breeze as hands.
You guys don't believe that, but he would.

Speaker 8 Go look at what happened when they went and played Seattle in the Legion of Boom up there in Seattle when they went seven and nine and they ended up losing to the Beastquake.

Speaker 8 He didn't even try and throw in that game. All they did was run power and try and slug it out with him.
He would do the same thing with Alvin Kamari, do the same thing with Latavius Murray.

Speaker 8 He would try and out think and out coach Matt LaFleur up in Lambeau Field. I think it'd be a tremendous game to watch, but I think they'd come up a little bit short.

Speaker 8 I think the teams truly to worry for the Green Bay Packers are in the AFC.

Speaker 8 I think it's the Chiefs with their ability to score really fast, and I think it's the Buffalo Bills because Josh Allen somehow grew a hose in the last offseason and can throw the ball at any point in time on the field to any spot on the field.

Speaker 8 So those two teams scare me a little bit if they happen to make it to the Super Bowl and if the Packers happen to make it to the Super Bowl. But I was serious about the football team.

Speaker 8 I don't, we saw them last year.

Speaker 8 They had like six sacks against the Packers and that defensive front with the 15 first-round picks that they have, that's a scary proposition for somebody to have to drop back and try and make sure they get rid of the ball before they get munched on by one of these six, six, you know, 300-pound guys.

Speaker 1 You're like munched today.

Speaker 3 Yeah. We're going to munch.
We're going to munch this weekend.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, John, thank you for participating in the low man trophy, as always.
You're one of the best voters we have, and I'll take it back. I like you.

Speaker 8 Am I the only one that responds?

Speaker 1 No, no, we've got

Speaker 1 everything.

Speaker 1 You, Lorenzo.

Speaker 3 I mean, I can get into all of them, but it's going to take a while. I'm going to leave somebody out.
Alec Ingold,

Speaker 3 T. Bob Haybear, Hank Fornelli.
Hank Fornelli. We got a lot of guys out there.
Anthony Sherman voted.

Speaker 8 Can we talk about how

Speaker 8 he ghosted us?

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Can we talk about how Danny Vitale has ghosted us?

Speaker 1 Yeah, 30-year-olds is Galippi. Well,

Speaker 3 we think that Danny, I think he's off the grid right now. I think he's gone like full thoreau.

Speaker 3 Who's the guy from Into the Wild?

Speaker 3 Ted Kaczynski. Ted Kaczynski.
Christopher McCann. Yeah, so Danny's lost everybody's number.
He doesn't have a phone anymore. He doesn't have a Twitter account.
He doesn't have an Instagram.

Speaker 3 If you know Danny Vitaly, let us know that he's okay.

Speaker 1 And he's not in his shed building bombs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, we'll find him. But, John, thank you, and hopefully we see you soon, man.

Speaker 8 Always fun, guys.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up. We got guys on chicks.

Speaker 3 Hank.

Speaker 4 Ladies, how do you break the poop area with your boyfriend?

Speaker 3 Oh, poop barrier. A lot of lube.

Speaker 1 I would say, I would assume this is just pooping in an apartment.

Speaker 3 Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, have the conversation. So it sounds like you want to break the poop barrier.

Speaker 1 Oh, I wouldn't. I don't like.
You can just pretend you're showering.

Speaker 3 You got to leave some things mysterious. Pretend you're showering.
You can say.

Speaker 1 Turn on the shower.

Speaker 3 I'm showering again.

Speaker 3 You could say, like, I'm just going to be in the bathroom for this is why every single, it should be a code in America where every single apartment listed for two people has to have at least one and a half bathrooms in it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just do the shower, though, run the water, get some matches. It's not that hard.

Speaker 4 How much, I mean, obviously, Leroy, rest in peace, but how much would you guys analyze your dog's poops like for health and stuff?

Speaker 1 Is there a follow-up question here about Normie? Is Normie okay? No, I just do it.

Speaker 4 Like, I'll be picking up his poop, and I'm always like, you know, take a look.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, you know, what's the color like today? Like, what's up? Hank, I'm happy you brought up Normie.

Speaker 3 I used to have a bearded dragon, and you could see, like, if you fed him a mouse, you could see it.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you want to do what you're about to do.

Speaker 1 I don't want to do what I'm about to do, but I've seen some videos of a very, let's just call him riled up Norman. What's going on? He's this dog.

Speaker 3 Dude, Norm peed in the house last night.

Speaker 1 Is he still

Speaker 3 Hank was playing video games? I think he's got

Speaker 1 all the time.

Speaker 3 He's got an absentee father.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What's up with him?

Speaker 4 Oh, he's just got a, he's got a bear that he really likes.

Speaker 1 And when they get together, you know,

Speaker 1 he's a guy. He's taking hard body a little bit too much.
Just like us. Has he gotten spaded neutered?

Speaker 4 Yes, he has.

Speaker 1 Most of us for life now. He's just going to be fucking shit for life.

Speaker 4 Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 He's like Will Chamberlain.

Speaker 4 Well, and like he will, you know, I

Speaker 4 brought him to my parents for break. We didn't bring the, you know, his fuck his fuck his fucked bear.
And he was just depressed a little bit. So when he was back, he was really excited.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, that's like a teenager that, you know, gets the house to themselves for the first time in a week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's

Speaker 4 just pretend this is real for a second.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Humor, humor, humor this person.

Speaker 4 Hey, PMT fellas. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years, and we're 21 years old.
He's very sweet, kind, loving, caring, good in bed, and always goes out of his way for me.

Speaker 1 You probably don't know any problem.

Speaker 3 21 years old, been with the same guy for seven years.

Speaker 3 He is just in bed. You are in bed at the same time as him.

Speaker 4 There's just one problem. He had an affair with my dad, but he has no idea that I know my sister found out because she caught him through a baby monitor for my cousin.
What in the world should I do?

Speaker 3 It's just kids' stuff. You should make a documentary about it called Vanished in Plain Sight.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. I'm cheating.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I think you have to sleep with his mom.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think you need to address this.
If this were real.

Speaker 4 Do you address it with the boyfriend or the dad first?

Speaker 1 I think both at the same time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Then it gets real hard.
Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
But yeah, I think

Speaker 1 if this were real and this were 100% real, I do think this is something that, and I'm giving a real answer here, you want to talk about

Speaker 1 at some point.

Speaker 1 It feels relevant.

Speaker 3 It also feels, it feels strange that this relationship is still going on at this point.

Speaker 1 It's going on.

Speaker 4 Seven years.

Speaker 1 No. No, no.
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 Did you really trust your sister, though?

Speaker 3 She was the one who said she saw.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it could just be

Speaker 3 if you were a jealous sister and you wanted to cause an issue,

Speaker 3 you'd be like, Billy, I saw your boyfriend

Speaker 1 with a baby monitor. Good addition, Billy.

Speaker 4 Classic, yeah. Yeah, no, you're right.

Speaker 1 Billy got it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like every pistol is checked. This is like, yo, I saw

Speaker 1 your boyfriend sucking dad's.

Speaker 3 But also, remember, this is a sister that hasn't had that happen. This is a sister who's seen a seven-year relationship.

Speaker 3 She wants her own. And what about this? What if the dad doesn't like the boyfriend? It's like, we need to get rid of this guy because he's going to propose and then he'll be in my life forever.

Speaker 3 So he told the sister, tell her that you saw me sucking his dick. And then if she comes to me, I'll admit it.
And then the boyfriend's going to be like,

Speaker 3 what the hell is going on?

Speaker 1 One further, he's like, listen, the boyfriend will be able to talk his way out of it. We got to make this so real they can't.
I'm going to get him to suck my dick. Yeah,

Speaker 1 so that we break.

Speaker 1 break perfect crime yeah perfect crime before they were the father and boyfriend were wrestling yeah and they made it look like you definitely have done what just like I that's a billy that's a billy take a billy take is like well what if they just like caught each other's eyes and they started wrestling and I'm not saying this in a bad way I'm saying you

Speaker 1 would just wrestle guy you just like two guys

Speaker 1 can wrestle that's fun you've never

Speaker 1 wrestled a girlfriend's dad I'm not I'm not saying this in a joking way. I'm saying

Speaker 1 this is why people sometimes are like,

Speaker 1 why is Billy? What you don't understand is Billy is untapped, unfiltered, straight from the source,

Speaker 1 you know, straight from the Rocky Mountains, bro. So when he hears this, he's like, well, they could be wrestlers.
But Billy's right because

Speaker 1 there's like an unspoken

Speaker 1 thing.

Speaker 3 There's an unspoken thing sometimes where it's like the two people that are closest to this girl in her life are her father and her boyfriend at the the time.

Speaker 1 It happens in the wilderness.

Speaker 3 Guys just see each other, you make eye contact, and you start wrestling.

Speaker 1 Watch a planet Earth for me once. He's two.

Speaker 1 The two bucks going at each other.

Speaker 3 In that video from Hong Kong, I was walking around wearing pink shorts and no shirt while I was on MDMA.

Speaker 3 There was another guy. He walked by.
We looked at each other, and we just started wrestling, and it was guy stuff. And you just shake hands.

Speaker 3 Sometimes in nature, you just see another person and you got to wrestle. He's making sure that he can

Speaker 1 get his daughter. Yeah, Manoe Mona.

Speaker 4 he was doing it like greco-roman style right back in the day uh-huh okay well we've given you enough to chew on all right a couple more uh sup boys and happy new year my fiancé and i just got engaged in september after being together for eight years i've asked him on more than one occasion if he would ever make a sex tape and he always says no but if he asks me i always say yes he thinks it's weird and always drops the conversation does he actually hate me

Speaker 1 i don't i don't think so i think he just doesn't want to make sense you have different goals i think he's probably a little woke on big brother looking at everything,

Speaker 1 which is the correct way to do it.

Speaker 3 He probably gets weird out by the conversation a lot. Like, well,

Speaker 3 you're very eager for this. Are there other tapes of you? I should know about it.

Speaker 1 How often have you been bringing this up? Sounds like a lot. Billy, you want to tell people, the young people who are listening, why your cautionary tale of why you shouldn't do a sex tape?

Speaker 3 I think Snapchat is going to have a huge blackmail on future politicians.

Speaker 1 We should make sure that

Speaker 3 cloud gets deleted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we should

Speaker 1 for the politicians, not for you. No, no, no, not for me, but like in the future, think about it.

Speaker 3 Think about it. Like, you have a bunch of dumb 14-year-olds and teenagers and stuff, and then in the future,

Speaker 1 they might become important people, and there's a whole cloud of data.

Speaker 3 Other people, this is like not a joke, right?

Speaker 1 No, politicians.

Speaker 3 I think that there will be a scandal that happens in the next like 20 years where a Comcast or a major internet service provider just gets hacked or they release a bunch of documents, and it's just everybody's search history and everybody's internet history.

Speaker 3 But guess what? At that point, we're all fucked together. But, like, we'll probably be judging future presidential candidates on like stupid Snapchats of them, like of them, like

Speaker 1 the presidency with that.

Speaker 3 But it might actually be like society gets so fucked up, you might be like, yo, that guy's shotgun was two seconds, his was four. I want the two-second guy.

Speaker 3 Or it might be like, this dude's shit is huge and hilarious. The guy with the biggest shit on Snapchat

Speaker 3 gets to be fresh.

Speaker 4 All right, we'll end with this one. Is eating a single egg o waffle versus two sociopathic behavior perhaps early warning sign for future serial killer?

Speaker 3 No, just eat waffles as you please. No, but no pro waffle in any circumstance.

Speaker 1 No, no, but eating one, you can't eat one. You got to eat two.

Speaker 1 That's the question. You got to eat.

Speaker 3 It's eating one, but what if it comes in a pack of two, right? What if you save one for later?

Speaker 1 Well, you're still eating two.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but you're not eating two right then. I'm not eating.

Speaker 1 But there's no no way that one

Speaker 1 fills you up.

Speaker 1 No chance. No chance one fills you up.
Zero chance.

Speaker 3 Where if somebody steals your eggo?

Speaker 1 Well, that's.

Speaker 3 Then you gotta say, let go.

Speaker 1 But two, two, you have to eat two. Always eat two.
How can you not eat three, four?

Speaker 1 Maybe that's why someone comes back and they're like, what, you only ate one? It's like, no, I actually ate three. Dude,

Speaker 3 you realize what's happened to us. We've been brainwashed by eggo.

Speaker 3 Because the entire premise of their commercials from like the 80s and 90s were somebody trying to steal one of your eggos, and you'd say, Lego, my eggo. Bro.

Speaker 3 And now it's like, you cannot let that happen.

Speaker 1 Why do you think Pringles are so popular?

Speaker 3 Because once you pop, you can't.

Speaker 1 What about Lays? Finish all the Pringles.

Speaker 3 What about Lays? What it was. I bet you can't eat just one.
There you go.

Speaker 1 Tootsie Roll pops.

Speaker 3 They got us. How many licks?

Speaker 1 They got us. One, two,

Speaker 1 three.

Speaker 1 Love that guy. The owl.
Right after my own heart. Just fucking take a bite.
Go salve mode on it.

Speaker 3 Billy, got an animal fact for us? Yeah,

Speaker 3 both male and female hyenas both have penises.

Speaker 1 That's pretty cool, I guess. Oh, god.
That's a very close.

Speaker 1 18. 8.

Speaker 4 5.

Speaker 1 14. I'm trying not to.

Speaker 4 What'd you say, Hank? Five.

Speaker 4 No mod.

Speaker 3 Eight. Always eight.

Speaker 3 80.

Speaker 1 What'd you say, Liam?

Speaker 1 98. 98.
45.

Speaker 3 Brian Aracco. 98.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Warren Sapp.
98. 98.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Talking away,

Speaker 3 though I don't know what I'm to say or sage anyway.

Speaker 3 Today's a mountain day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 and I'll tell

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I'm all set

Speaker 1 away.

Speaker 1 Though they're learning that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 in a day of day

Speaker 1 all the things that you say

Speaker 1 in the light bulb. Just to flame my glory away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 You're shining away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you

Speaker 1 He's shining away

Speaker 1 coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 in a thing.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 in a day.