Matt Schaub, John Kuhn And Browns Are Getting Screwed

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Matt Schaub. Retired, but not retired, Matt Schaub, 17-year NFL vet, legend of the game.
We have John Kuhn. We have the Loman T trophy.
If you missed the presentation, it was the most important trophy presentation that happened last night. The only one that had somebody's phone go off with a doorbell sound in the middle of it.
No, it was Chris Fowler. Oh yeah, it was Chris Fowler.
I think these are noise activated by the way. Yeah, I think they don't start until we...
It's like the clapper. I actually think it's just Pete, and that's where he sleeps at night, and he waits for us to get started with a show and just annoys us.
Yeah, so the pipes are back. Smell him from a mile away.
We have hot seat cool thrown. We have guys on chicks.
We have the Browns getting fucked over. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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Let's go.

Boys!

Boys!

Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of stuff is work to be done.

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We're gonna rock down to electric revenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric revenue. It's part of my take.
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$10 to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, January 6th.
And Trevor Lawrence won the fan vote for the Heisman, which I'm counting as a win for my bet.

But more importantly, I almost said Philip Buchanan.

I almost said James Buchanan.

But it's Jacoby Buchanan has won the low man trophy.

That's a fact.

He is the low man of the year, the best fullback in college football.

That's what everyone's talking about today.

All the papers are saying it.

And it was a big upset for the Masons.

I think the Masons split each other's votes.

There were three Masons that were nominated for the Lomand Trophy.

The three Masons.

That's a thing.

The three Masons.

The three Masons.

Yeah, we were saying that.

Did you watch the Lomand presentation?

We already addressed the Freemason controversy.

I said it would be like if we had a five-year-old introduce them, he would say, and here are the Freemasons. And also, Hank, this is like a teachable moment here.
Do you know what Mason does? Lays bricks. They make blocks.
Same thing as a fullback. Mason Wake, I saw that he's using this as motivation.
He said revenge tour next year. Oh, I like it.
He was at BYU, so he's going to be there until he's 35. Yep, he's going to be soaking forever.
And Sean Payton Sean Payton's gonna pay him 35 million dollars I love that I love that um all right so uh the real Heisman winner I I bet on Trevor Lawrence so I tried as hard as I could to to get the conversation going which was futile but the real Heisman winner deserved it it was Devontae Smith he was incredible it's actually I was thinking it, when you look at some of his game stats,

he is essentially like if you, in NCAA 14, you just created a wide receiver

and made him 99 across the board.

Mississippi State, 203 yards, four touchdowns.

144 yards, two touchdowns against Kentucky.

171 yards, two touchdowns against Auburn.

231 yards, three touchdowns against LSU, 184 yards, two touchdowns against Florida, 130 yards, three touchdowns against Notre Dame. He was insane.
It's the SEC. They don't play defense there.
That's a big knock against the conference. First wide receiver to win it since 1991.
Very, very much deserved. Also, just an absolute...
I'm happy that Devontae Smith hopefully has a long-storied NFL career because he is now Slim Reaper. The Durantula, or the servant, Kevin Durant, was given that nickname but did not take it, what, a decade ago? It is one of the greatest nicknames ever and it's deserved for devontae smith because his legs are so skinny and the slim reaper is such an awesome nickname so tiny they're tiny little legs like stefan stefan digs could floss with his legs yes there that's like there was one picture that espn's twitter account put out where it looked like it looked like a towel was hanging down from his pants yes and but you know what he's fast, and I assume that Nick Saban makes him work out, so he's probably very strong in his lower body.
Yep. Just no wasted area.
I'm just happy that someone is the Slim Reaper because it is such an exceptional nickname. So the Heisman happened.
Well, Pinquet, you're leaving out another one of the huge win, the big winner of the night, besides those two that you mentioned, was Kyle Trask. Because if the NFL doesn't work out for him, he can always be in a Mountain Dew commercial starring a boy.
But he looks like if Mountain Dew sponsored a boy band mixed with Billy football. Billy was getting some Kyle Trask love.
I said it about a month ago that Kyle Trask, if you were analyzing,

if you were scouting these crop of quarterbacks,

Kyle Trask's facial hair is a huge negative.

That is not a franchise quarterback.

That is like a sixth-inning reliever, maybe a long reliever.

I'm not talking about a good reliever.

I'm talking about a guy who comes in when someone gets shelled, and he's like all right, I'm going to... You're also talking about the year 1996.
Right. Middle reliever.
But he's got to fix that. If Indy happens and the combine happens, I don't know if it will, but if I were one of the scouts, that would be the first thing I'd ask him.
I'd be like, how open, how much are you in love with your facial hair? Because it has to go. I like, though, that it kind of sneaks up on you.
Because if you watch him play football enough, he's always got the chin strap on. And then when he takes it off, it's like, whoa, what just happened there? It's like when high school basketball players have to cover up their tattoos.
And then they take the sleeves off. You're like, wow, okay, that guy gets down.
Yep. Kyle Trask.
Yeah, but you know what? He can always shave shave and i think that the issue with his facial hair is i'm still dealing with this uh to this very day with my own is sometimes you just grow facial hair in the place that you can grow it yeah and in college you're definitely in that spot where you've got some friends that have full beards you've got some friends and mustaches and kyle trask i'm sure can only grow facial hair in the area like between his bottom lip and the top of his chin yeah so he's got to fix that and then mac jones i think finished i think mac jones finished third caltrasque for naji harris five mac jones by the way mac is a great name his real name is michael but his middle name is mccorkle okay that's why he's mac jones mccorkle jones mccorkle that's a plus mccork a plus. McCorkle Jones sounds like a Disney character, like a rapping mouse.
Or like an old curmudgeon-y Irish bartender who only will serve you one type of beer. Like, nope, that's all we have.
We've got both kinds. Nope, dark and light.
We've got Guinness and Beamish. McCorkle Jones.
All right, other news. Browns are fucked.
The Browns are getting fucked. So the Browns coaching staff, pretty much their whole coaching staff, Kevin Stefanski, the most important one, obviously, has the cocoa.
They are not going to be able to coach on Sunday night. The NFL is not giving them any wiggle room.
Now, the real issue is if this was an isolated case, I'd be like, okay, I guess the NFL, there's nothing they can do. They've got to play the playoffs.
The NFL has basically just been powering through the Browns having a mini outbreak the last three weeks. They've had practice squad guys last week.
They've got their hands over their ears because they're saying- Wide receivers the week before. I think the quote is, it's not a team infection issue.
It's a community issue. Every single week.
One of the only businesses that's open in that entire city is the Cleveland Browns front office. So, yeah, every week.
And they've had, like, six receivers get it. You know, it was the entire receiver room.
Then it was the entire cornerback's room. Now it's the coaching staff, but it's not an outbreak.
I guess it's not an outbreak. What happens if Baker— They should let Kevin Stefanski coach from a scissor lift on the sideline, or they should have him put a hospital bed in one of the suites like Hugh Freeze did, have Stefanski give him the thumbs up, thumbs down, runner pass.
Yep. There should be a way to get around this because— Agreed.
They're making up all these rules as they go along anyways, so why not, if you can figure out a way to have kevin stefanski there if he's not symptomatic if he's feeling healthy like there should be a way for him to be in isolation i'm sure the browns would be able to figure out like the cleveland clinic is right there they'd be able to figure out a way to like medically evacuate him to pittsburgh and back and the more i think about it the more i think maybe the browns are just getting all the good tests for COVID yeah maybe because they are next to the Cleveland Clinic that's true maybe their tests are way better than everywhere else in the league so I have two uh solutions one a joke one that's very selfish and I just want to watch it and one a real one that I actually think the NFL should propose the joke one is I would love for the Browns they they basically are like all right so you have five coaches out you can pick any of your five former head coaches and bring them back hugh jackson you will have even the coordinators todd haley greg williams now that would be funny the real solution and i'm being dead serious on this they should just be like bill belichick can coach the browns on sunday i'm okay. And Nick Saban.
And Nick Saban. But seriously, wouldn't that be – it would be the greatest entertainment to be like, okay, let's see how great of a coach you are, Bill Belichick.
You show up five days to prep your team. Browns fans would absolutely take it.
Be like, okay, we don't have a coach. This will be our coach for this week.
I think it would be an incredible thing to watch. I mean, the Browns are a private organization.
They can hire whoever they want right now, right? I don't think the Patriots would let them hire him. No, not Bill Belichick.
I'm saying they could bring back Hugh Jackson and Marvin Lewis. Yeah, that's the joke one.
Okay, so how about you give the Steelers Hugh Jackson and then you just coach normally? But seriously, Hugh has to call all the plays. And Tomlin can be the Browns coach.
Yeah, that's fine. Could you imagine though? They should be able to hire whoever they want though.
If there's an Urban Meyer or if there's a coach that is out there right now that knows offensive football, that knows how to coach, you should be able to pick up like a guy named Jeff Fisher. I like that.

I like where your head's at.

But imagine if they actually were just like, you know what?

Browns, we're fucking you over.

You get Bill Belichick.

Yeah.

And let's just see what happens.

And it would be the greatest game to watch, most fascinating storyline of all time.

I've got a little sliver of hope for Browns fans, and that's that you are a team of destiny.

This is something I found out yesterday. I've been saving this, Big Cat.
Big Cat. Okay, go ahead.
Sell me. Sell me this pen.
It has nothing to do with this weekend, but it does have to do with the fact that the Super Bowl is being played on the one-year anniversary of a very important time in the Cleveland Browns organization. Oh, is it Swagger's death? It's the one-year anniversary of Swagger's death.
Oh, wow. Their dog died a year ago on the exact date of the Super Bowl.
Okay, so unfortunately, I like what you're trying to do for the listeners of this show that are Browns fans looking for anything. Knowing the Browns' history and how cursed they are, I think that just means that Swagger Jr.
is going to die on the Super Bowl. Well, I don't know.
I don't know, because everything changed after Swagger died. You saw the tweet that reminded us of the death yesterday, and I went back, I did the math, and I looked at dates and figured out that it was on Super Bowl Sunday.
I Ryan Lochte'd it, but the funeral was well after. It was a couple weeks after the death.
It was the first and probably the last, we would hope, open casket funeral for a dog that i was aware of yes when swagger one died but swagger two is a winner swagger one was a lot of things to a lot of people but a winner he was not swagger two had all the best attributes of uh swagger the swagger one laid the foundation for swagger two to come in and turn the browns into a winning team. But one year later, I feel like if they get – that is a Team of Destiny vibe.
Yeah, except for, like, everything else that's happened to them. That's also kind of a Team of Destiny vibe.
We'll see. We'll see.
I mean, it sucks. Jeff D.
Lowe, our good friend and colleague who is a diehard Browns fan, I told him, I was like, look, listen, dude, this sucks. But as I would put the Browns probably in the category of what we said on Monday, the, you know, we're, we're the non-threatening party goers in the playoffs this year.
Is it the worst thing that you get a built-in excuse and be like, we could have won this game if the NFL didn't fuck us over? Like, no, it's not bad. I kind of wouldn't hate if the Bears had to have a built-in excuse instead of just sucking.
Like, hey, we got screwed. Right.
The good news for Browns fans is, well, in addition to that, you're playing the Steelers, and the Steelers aren't great. It's a very winnable game.
Now, some would call it a disadvantage to having no head coach. This is the first time since Bill Belichick that not having a head coach is actually a disadvantage.
That's what I was saying. I was like, listen, there are years in the past where having your head coach get COVID, like that would have been a plus, but it is very Browns to have it be like the one year, the one year that we couldn't have this happen.
Had a really good coach. It went down.
Yeah. All right.
Other news. Tommy Lasorda is back out of the hospital.
Fuck yes. Let's go, Tommy.
Anything else? We taped the end of the show earlier, so we'll talk about the Ohio State. Stay woke.
COVID. I'm keeping an update.
Kimye. Yeah, Kimye.
RIP True Love. I cannot believe this.
I'm going to put True Love on my hot seat before we do Hot Seat, Cool Throne. Yeah.
They broke up. Those doe-eyed little kids couldn't work it out if there was any couple that i thought would would you know stand the test of time it was kimye i think we can all agree right and then everyone's gonna cry about it and be like oh my god how could celebrities divorce we might get a great kanye album coming out of this though that would be cool oh like taylor swift no taylor swift does her best work after breakups i'm pretty sure she just dates guys to get material.
Like Kanye might drop a heater. I think we're more likely.
He's going to get off the God stuff. Yeah.
I think we're more likely to get like a banger keeping up with the Kardashians episode. What about satanic Kanye? No, no, no.
We will get a banger teaser for keeping up with the Kardashians season. Yes.
Yes. That won't tell us anything.
Yes. Yeah.
And then it'll come at the end of an episode. That'll be an incredible teaser.
But the teaser will be like, holy shit. The best teaser of all time.
Yes, the season's going to be amazing. Since CT ate Adam's brains.
I do want a Kanye album where he totally renounces his faith. He questions everything.
Call it like, I'm off that God tip. Yes, that would be...

What? Your mic's on.

Speak in the mic, Billy. Hold on, your mic's on.

Hold on, your mic's on. Hold on, your mic's on.

You're good. Okay, go.

Wait, your mic's on.

It's going to feature Mario Judah.

Okay, I understand that reference.

Your references are so

sick.

Who is that? If my mic was on, it would have been better. Full throne, Ricky Williams being high during the He it would have been better Also if we knew who you were talking about He's a rapper who like Gets a little satanic Yeah I know that It's kind of popular I thought you were talking about the other Mario Judah Mario Judah from Atlanta Georgia American singer, songwriter, record producer.
He began producing music as a teenager. Is that who you're talking about? Yes.
He wrote his prominence as an internet meme with his single Die Very Rough? Yes. Okay.
Yeah, we know that guy. What are you talking about? We know him.
All right. Let's do our hot seat, cool throne.
Henry, you're on the mic. What's your beef? That was the old Will Smith.
Remember, he used to answer the phone like that? You're on the mic. What's your beef? Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that was Prince. Fresh Prince would do that.
I think that was Man Cow. Mike Man Cow? Either that or Sports Babe.
Yeah, Man Cow might be running for, I think Man Cow's running for governor of Illinois. Hank, do you remember Sports Babe?

No.

Sports Babe was the sports talk radio show host, but plot twist, record scratch, she's a babe.

Mm-hmm.

And you'd call in, and the first thing she'd say, or you'd say to her would be-

Is this a real life thing on a show?

Yeah, oh yeah.

It'd be your height and weight.

And you'd go, hey babe, first time, long time, 6'2", everybody was 6'2", 6'2", 185.

And then she'd go, oh, yeah.

It's a great era in sports talk right now.

I'm sure she does.

You sound so wise for your age, BFT.

It seems like something that wasn't around.

The sports, babe?

When you were a kid, yeah.

Maybe when Big Cat was.

I know, yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm eight years old.

I spend a lot of time on YouTube watching stuff that my dad looks at.

My hot seat is the Texans camera crew, or one guy in particular. Uh-oh.
J.J. Watt and Deshaun Watson were sharing a heartfelt moment.
J.J. Watt was apologizing to Deshaun Watson.
He said, I'm sorry we wasted a season for you, and a fucking camera guy caught it. Ca yeah that is the worst ever you gotta be kidding

me jj keeps having this happen i know i can't imagine he's happy about that sucks he's gonna be pretty embarrassed about that because that's something that you know between teammates and alphas in the fll you gotta say that behind closed doors or else everyone's gonna know what a great dude you are so i'm i'm conflicted on this because we've obviously come a long way with jj watt from the uh from the Uh Hey J.J. days.
He's off the coach. He is a nice guy.
Very nice guy. I actually think that that was genuine.
No, no, no, no, no, no. It was set up for the cameras.
Like, he knew the cameras were there. But I actually think, like, he genuinely does feel bad of how bad.
That Texans defense was that bad. It was corny.
But if he was authentic,, he would have been like our fucking coaching staff is a joke. No, it was corny.
All that stuff. They would have edited that out.
Right. It was exactly how like he planned it to go viral.
All that shit. I'm saying like, as just looking at the facts of how bad the Texans defense was, I think apology was in order for Deshaun Watson.
So I'm looking at this the same way that you could look at uh britney spears paparazzi pictures from like the early 2000s when she was really going through and being a party girl and raging so yeah there were times that she knew the paparazzi was going to be there and she'd step out of her limo with her nipple hanging out but there were also instances where just because she was partying so much she'd you know swing the door open and they happened to catch an upskirt shot of her landing strip. Right.
And so that's kind of what's happening with J.J., where I'm sure he has said this before, but it was framed too perfectly. Of course it was.
It looked like the Joe Burrow video on Senior Night, the way they were trailing him out with the 4K lens. J.J.
knows. It's probably J.J.'s personal photographer.
J.J., if you did a scouting chart of J.J. Watts' strengths, like unbelievable motor, power, strength, all this stuff, and then also incredible 10 out of 10 and always knowing where the camera is.
Extreme camera awareness. I think he would admit that.
But there was an apology in order for Deshaun Watson. Oh, wow.
Look at Big Cat now. defense was...
We must protect Deshaun Watson at all costs. No, that's not what I'm saying.
That's what I heard. How did you get that? There was an apology in order from their defense.
That's just what I heard. Their defense was that bad.
I mean, it's tough to win what? They win four games? It's tough to have the leading... They just said they should have won 11.
I don't know about that. that But to have the leading The quarterback who leads the league in passing And win four games That's tough to do It is That's very tough to do Then my cool throw is Seattle Yeah There's talks about Adding two NBA expansion teams And they're heating up It's looking like things are trending in the right direction Not both to Seattle I don't Well't.
Well, no, but like one to Pittsburgh. I want the Sonics to very much return.
Yes. I really want it for our dear friend Spencer Hawes.
But I also, there's like, this is remember when the U.S. didn't make the World Cup and it was the funniest moment ever.
It would be very funny if they added two teams and neither were in Seattle. It would be in a six-hand way.
Just on a face value want it to happen i'm not rooting i'm rooting for the sonics to come back they should be the number one team that gets a franchise if they're adding any teams again though if they added two and they're like yeah it's gonna be uh how about daytona beach and louisville okay i was gonna say louisville and las vegas but we call the Las Vegas team the Supersonics. Yeah, or they'll be like, you know what? We're going to add it to Vegas, but they're going to play three preseason games in Seattle.
They treat Seattle like the NFL used to do the America Bowl where they go over to Japan for one game. Yeah, or like Buffalo and Toronto.
Remember when they did that experiment? Yeah. They're like, yeah, it's basically Seattle.
I just want Seattle to have a basketball team so that they can bring back the Sean Kemp Rain Man shoes. Those things are the kamikazes.
I am a little worried, though, for Spencer because if they do bring back the Sonics, like, does he die? Because I think that's all he – that's it. That's the only thing he's looking for.
Peloton. Peloton.
Yeah. Washington football and Sonics.
Okay, is that it? That's my Cool Throne. Okay.
Thrones? It's Hot Seat, Cool Throne. Hot Seat, Cool Throne.
You just did the bare minimum. You're a minimum guy.
Cool. Yeah, you are a minimum guy.
If it was Hot Seat, Cool Thrones, Hot Seat's Cool Thrones, I would have multiple. Hot Seat.
However, it is not. Like Biggs Mac.
Hot Seat, handball. Uh-oh.
World handball is on the hot seat. Be careful.
That's right. Watch out.
Don't let the USA get hot. We're returning to the international stage on January 14th.
It's the big tournament, whatever they call that. I don't know.
The World Series. A bunch of countries are getting together and playing each other.
I think it's just called recess. It's just a shitload of men.
The Men's World Handball Championship. Yeah, physical education is what's happening.
It's in between period five and six. Hopefully we can get the presidential award this year.
So I looked it up. We're in the group of death.
I don't know that, but we're playing against Norway, Austria, and France. It feels like the handball group of death.
So we open it up against Austria. So hot seat, Matthew Delvedova.
We're coming at you, buddy. And it's going to be tough for us because...
Austria? Yeah, Austria. Okay.
And we're going to be playing on the 14th. And when you look on Google at the schedule, it's got all the country's flags.
And then the U.S. just has the generic gray spot there, which is how you can tell that we're ready to go for team handball.
Yes. So, yeah, we are in the group of death.
If my guy Ty Reed's on the team, we're going to win. Ty Reed? Ty Reed? You picked him up? No, I played handball 2016 with him during quarantine on Xbox.
His name is Tyler Reed. Tyler Reed.
He was a wide receiver to Alabama. Oh.
Turned. He did what Billy said he was going to do.
Got it. Played football, turned into a handball.
So basically everything we've said is 100% factual. Yeah.
Yeah. He basically confirmed it.
The sixth best wide receiver at Alabama is now our star player. The guy who was on special teams for five years at Alabama is the best player in the world.
I don't know. I just know he's on the team.
No, Ty Reed is the best. He's the best.
He's the best player in the world. I've got my Reed jersey hanging up in the closet.
I love that we still, like, the fact that we had, that was right around this year, this time last year with Jay Cutler, but that we got a handball, like, one of the best in the world, and he was a fucking accountant. That guy was cool, but he was an accountant.
You know what else I like about this whole conversation is that, like like the international handball community is probably the most active online community in the in the world so you know that they've got a lot of time on their hands uh to just like name search a real elite sport would not have that amount of time and the best part is they don't they don't even realize that like they're like uh back it up like dude no thank you no like this is we talk about what we do now yeah we billy's literally fighting jose canseco for me i do not back it up. Like, dude, no thank you.
No. Like, do you understand what we do now? Billy's literally fighting Jose Canseco for me.
I do not back it up. We start fights, okay? We don't finish them.
I just talk shit. Yeah.
My other hot seat is tradition. The NFL, or excuse me, the NHL has spat in the face of traditions.
They're renaming their divisions, and they're giving them corporate slogans or corporate sponsors. No.
So it's the Honda division,otia division guess which one that is wait that's not actually real yeah discover and mass mutual division wait the nhl nhl you said the nfl i but i switched it to nhl okay i said in nhl excuse me okay um so yeah the nba would never do something like this no sell out the corporations and put uh logos on their official uniforms but the nhl is doing it Bad look for the kids. Well, they're trying to make some money up.
Yeah, they're trying to make some money up. They got the logos on the helmets.
Some of us care about tradition. Big cat.
Just get to, you know, keep the league alive. Every uniform should look like Notre Dame and Michigan from 1910.
Yes. My cool throne.
Oh, you're too hot. Yeah.
I see that? I did double time. Not a minimum guy.
Yeah. My cool throne is Swag Kelly.
So no offense, no disrespect to CJ Beathard, but Swag is back. Like a prodigal son returning to a party with an assault rifle, Swag Kelly has returned to the land of his birth.
I actually don't know. Is he from Buffalo? I know his family is, obviously, so he's the nephew of Jim Kelly.
But he's back in the land of his ancestors, and it's classic Belichick what the Bills are doing because guess who Swag was most recently playing for? The Colts. He's got their playbook.
He does. I like to think that Swag had his own.
he definitely doesn't well he i my hypothesis is that they had three separate playbooks i was gonna say they had the philip rivers playbook they had the uh the jacoby brissette playbook which is just sneaking the ball and then they've got swag kelly which is when you need to take like an intentional safety but make it look unintentional or have like somebody assault a referee or cameraman i was thinking about it was thinking about it. I was like, wait, he not only doesn't have a playbook physically, because they probably took it from him, but he also definitely hasn't retained any of the information.
Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, he had his one specific – it's like, Swag, we're going to send you out there.
Please get us a 15-yard misconduct penalty. Billy, are you going to stand for this, Billy? Maybe he's Mr.
Ursae's banana boat guy. Billy, are you going to stand for this? I don't have to say anything.
Swag is silent. What draft was it that he was the best? The best quarterback from this draft is Swag Kelly.
What was it, like 2017 or something? Yeah. You said that.
I said that. It was like that summer, I guess.
No, you said most talented. Most talented.
Which I still agree with. You can say that and never be wrong.
There's a lot of talented guys who just go off the reservation. Yeah, like me.
Exactly. I could have had it all.
Could have been a contender. All right, my hot seat is Alabama and Ohio State.
They're playing in the national championship on Monday, but they aren't the national champions. So the New York Times noted football publication had an article that said the college football champion not in the title game.
And this guy has deemed that the University of Connecticut, because they were the first football subdivision team to squarely face the coronavirus and decide against playing a single snap during a raging pandemic, should be our 2020-21 national champions. They're the real champions.
I'm actually in favor of that just to watch how badly that pisses off Randy Edsel. Holy shit.
No, dude, are you kidding me? Randy Edsel definitely has a ton of clauses that gets him so many bonuses for this. He probably has a clause like, if the New York Times deems us national champions, Randy Edsel's the king of clauses.
I love this take because it reminds us that the Tennessee Titans should actually not be in the NFL playoffs because they did not take Corona seriously. I love it when sports writers just arbitrarily Oh, I don't think it's a sports writer.
I don't know. I unfortunately can't read the article because I don't have a subscription to the New York Times.
But I saw the headline. And someone else transcribed a paragraph.
But yeah, it's a take. I'm in favor of awarding meritless national championships just as a ground rule.
Breaking moves. Oh, this is my cool throne.
Maybe. No, it works perfectly with the hot seat.
Brett McMurphy just tweeted this 31 seconds ago. Uh-oh.
Because of COVID issues at Ohio State, there has been discussions about postponing the college football playoff title game. Stay woke.
The NFL is going to postpone the Browns game to Monday, and then they're going to postpone the national championship game to the following Saturday. Shit.
No, the Balling Saturday has football. Yeah.

You always get the NFL playoff schedule confused.

I can't look ahead longer than one week.

I'm taking it.

They're doing the same schedule.

I'm a football guy, Big Cat.

They're doing the same schedule for our entire life.

Except this year it's different.

No, but the second weekend is completely the same.

They've got a game on fucking Nickelodeon this weekend that's never happened before. There's six games this weekend.
We're in the future. Next weekend is Saturday two games, Sunday two games, as always.
And then the championship Sunday is always two games on Sunday. Okay, so then the national championship game would be delayed until the following Monday.
Yes. Which, for the record, I am absolutely in favor of that.
Yeah. Let's have as much football as we can for as long as possible.
Keep the dream alive. And also stay woke woke.
They have COVID issues? Does it happen to be somewhere around Justin Fields ribs? I am the preeminent rib truther online. Yeah.
I'm going to throw a flag right now. i would say an extra week would help those bruised ribs i would say um in terms of a punctured lung calling it a rib issue if the rib punctured the lung the lung related but maybe he doesn't have covid maybe just at a higher susceptibility to get it yes because he's got like a a tracheotomy tube going into his lung um that would be covid related wouldn't it i'm just saying i feel like it would i it's so stupid how the ncaa and like because i don't even think the ncaa it's just the conferences now uh like i saw this before the college football semifinal the day before clemson was done with testing but ohio state still had to test the morning of the game like it's so stupid how all of this is going it is very weird and you know we talked about the browns at the beginning of the show it's all crazy do you feel like ohio state gets helmet stickers for every time they put on a mask in a meeting or every time they pass the test yes they hand those things out like candy now i'm just saying those ribs might be feeling a lot better a week later right just just throwing it out there that's just science um all right my cool throne is uh tua he's been announced starter for 2021 which i didn't know they announced starters right now that's always a great sign when when your front office is like this guy's gonna be i don't know where i don't know who's gonna be alive in two weeks so like thinking all the way to september there's a lot that can happen there and uh well as booger says we're in a microwave society yes in a microwave society right now we want everything fast we want everything now um so good for good for the dolphins good for tua again my it was a lot less about two and more about the fact they have the third pick overall but hey hey, if they want to go with Tua, that's fine.
But you know what? Saying that he is right now our starter on our roster. I love that.
I love because you leave yourself open to literally doing anything in the offseason. And also, just a heads up, as Dolphins fans, I'm wearing all Dolphins gear.
Shout out the guy who sent me a XXXL Dolphins jumpsuit. It's, you know, like tired, wired, tired being haunted by two quarterbacks, wired being haunted by like three or four because they're already haunted by Justin Herbert.
Well, I'm haunted by Deshaun Watson and Patrick Holmes, but they're haunted by Justin Herbert. Who's to say they don't draft a quarterback this year? And like Zach Wilson, Trey Lance, Justin Fields, all these guys turn out to be Hall of Famers.
Oh my God. Then they just have like three years of Roger Goodell chasing after.
Man, I'll tell you what, you know what they say. If you have two quarterbacks, you don't have one.
Ooh. Actually, you know what I mean? 2.8 balls.
That's pretty good. 2.8 boobs.
2.8 boobs that's i mean 2.8 boobs is very good i'm actually shocked i haven't said that like every single week 2.8 well i think frank the tank has been around enough that he's probably said it yeah probably um all right my other cool throne not minimum guys not on this side of the room we're not minimum guys uh billy and hank are minimum guys uh flight tracker flightacker's all the way back. Urban Meyer.
Love it. Going to Jacksonville.
Also, Shad Khan. Wow, what a galaxy brain move to be like, we're trying to hire the best new head coach, but just so we're clear, I'm the one who's still in charge of the roster.
Me, Shad Khan, super crazy rich guy who doesn't know anything about football. I'm okay with that because at least he's saying it every other owner will be like no you know i let my football guys do the football work and i just sit here and i write the checks and watch the games and i think probably the successful franchises out there actually have that but those aren't the ones that are ever looking for head coaches right so now you've got a situation where every opening is going to be an owner who publicly says,

I'm going to let you do your thing.

Yeah.

And the next thing you know, you're drafting a quarterback in the first round because he played beer pong with your son in high school.

Right.

And then that becomes an issue for you.

The devil you know.

The devil you know is fine.

And also, I'm glad you brought up Flight Tracker because big shout out to all the people on the message boards out there.

Tiger Droppings is huge on it.

I know that Hogville has certainly made its name

in terms of tracking these

flights coast to coast, finding the coaches.

I've got like five different Flight Aware guys

in my DMs. That always pop up

this time, and I love all of you guys for doing

God's work. If these guys

were in charge of NORAD on

September 11th, we would never have

gone through anything bad.

So, great job. Keep doing what you're doing.
You're real American heroes and patriots. All right.
Minimum guy. I don't know what that means.
What is that? You're going to do your one hot seat and one cool throne. I have like five.
Oh. Here we go.
Hot seat pirate streamers. Dana White says he has a special surprise for anyone who pirates his UFC.
Fuck yes, Dana. Sweet graphic t-shirt.
I like this. He's like threatening people to pirate his dream.
That's cool. My other hot seat is Doug Peterson.
Conor McGregor's fighting soon, by the way. Yeah, he promised.
That's going to be awesome. Robbie Fox is going.
What do you think Dana White's going to do? What's his special surprise? He's probably going to show up. If you are sitting there pirating, all of a sudden your doorbell rings and you just get punched in the face.
Robbie Fox is going on the UFC charter with Dana to fight Island. I was thinking about what you could do to combat pirating.
I bet he's going to send out a bunch of troll links. Hire Tom links.
On Reddit. Oh, so here's what he might do.
He might send out troll links that are all infected with viruses. So he makes people scared.
It's like a landmine when you're trying to click on a periscope. Which he doesn't realize that already exists.
Every time you click on one of these links, it's always, there's a 50-50 chance you get your computer fucked. But this time it like, 100% chance.
Maybe Rick rolls you. Oh.
That's what I'm thinking. Meat spin.
That'd be a good idea. Or it just goes to a live stream of Dana White.
That's a joke that only us. Well, PFC is 27, but us over 30 get.
What's meat spin? Send it to me, big cat. Hey, big cat.
Hey, shit. Go to meatspin.com.
Big cat. Have you looked up Bofa? Oh, man.
Oh, dude, don't get me. I got that.
Someone got me last night. They got you pretty good.
My other hot seat is Jeb Bush's tiny arms. He was getting the vaccine.
His arms are frail as fuck. Oh, okay.
I'm getting into my backups. Yep.
Keep going. Keep going.
My other hot seat is Jose Canseco. I'm going to be his ass.
Jeb Bush follows me on Twitter. My other hot seat.
Those are all my hot seats. Okay.
That is a very small arm on Jeb Bush. Cool Thrones? He's a super big right arm, too.
Yeah, he's a right winger. Yeah.
Fuck. Damn, Billy.
Sorry, Billy. He's actually not even that big of a right winger anymore.
Is that Photoshopped? It looks Photoshopped. It does.
I'm going to DM Jeb Bush real quick and ask him if that was photoshopped uh all right billy what do you got cool and my last cool throne oh another uh hot seat is the weekend because he got really weird plastic surgery that it may be fake though it's kind of creepy anyway all right uh let's get to our interviews i forgot about this but i've got You tried to get him on the show. No, but I never DM'd him.
Oh. It looks like I've DM'd him several times in the past just trying to get him to join my fantasy football league.
Oh, that was right. Yeah.
What did you say? What did you say, Hank? What did you say, Hank? You're not serious about Weeknd, right? Did you see? It's a music video.

Well, he got the bandages on.

That is the music video.

Remember, he went to the war show.

Guys, bad news.

Michael Jackson is actually a zombie.

Oh, God, Billy.

This is bad, Billy.

No, I...

Oh, my God.

No, but he was wearing the bandages before

Billy

Did I get tricked by Hollywood?

You got tricked by a costume

Billy

That's the lowest form of trick

Watch The Weeknd play a

plastic surgery disaster

in his bizarre save your tears video

Bro I just saw The Weeknd got terrible plastic

surgery. Did you hear the guy from Jamiroquai

invented a way to defy gravity?

Was it

the OK Go?

Was that the name of the movie? Yeah, they're the ones that do all

the Rube Goldberg machines.

And they also, yeah, they get on the treadmill.

Yeah. Treadmill accident.

If you leave a cucumber on the ground next to Billy

Football, he'll panic and flip out about it.

Cool turn, Chad Kelly.

Okay. Alright, let's get to our interviews.
Wereadmill accident. If you leave a cucumber on the ground next to Billy Football, he'll panic and flip out about it.
Cool turn, Chad Kelly. Okay.
All right. Let's get to our interviews.
We have first up, no longer retired, and you'll find out why. Matt Schaub, legend of the game, 17-year NFL career.
We talk about everything with him. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. Recently retired, a fantastic 17-year career in the NFL.
It is Matt Schaub. Matt, thank you for joining us.
Can we first start with, are you actually retired? Because I read a tweet yesterday that said, after our show today, Matt Schaub found out he is retiring from the Falcons. You found out you were retiring or you retired? Well, no.
it was something that i knew was going to happen you know my contract's up so um you know this is it for me unless a super enticing offer yes yeah yeah down the pipe and you know whatever you know you never want to say never but uh as far as me and my career and where my family's at man i couldn't be more uh happy happy and content and satisfied with my journey in the NFL playing quarterback. And if this is the end of the road, you know, I wanted to just let it be known that I'm going to go out on my terms and call it a career.
You're not retired. Breaking news, Matt Schaub is not retired.
I love that we had you on. We got that figured out.
Actually, you know what? That's the interview. We'll talk to you when you retire, dude.
Well, the paperwork hasn't been filed yet, so until that happens, you're not done. Okay.
So, yeah, the phone is going to ring for you. There's going to be room in the NFL for Matt Schaub for the next 20 years.
I'm convinced of it. And it's funny because you were in that same draft class as Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning and Phillip Rivers.
I feel like we need to talk about Matt Schaub as being part of that elite draft class because, yeah, I mean, those guys have, you know, they've started for the same team for upwards of 16 years. But, like, having this long of a career in the NFL as a quarterback is extremely tough to do.
And we talk about it a lot on the show, how there's, like, there are guys who can become backups who are still sometimes you know one of the top 30 top 40 quarterbacks in the entire world that can turn that into like a long career and I'm always curious to know like you played both sides of it you were a great starter for a long time and then you were a great backup quarterback did you have to like change anything about the way you prepared like did you have to start driving a less swaggy car so you wouldn't be able to upstage the starting guy? What's the difference in skill set there? Well, I think the one thing that you have to adjust is when you're the starter, you're getting all the reps. You're out of practice.
You're the guy. You're in the huddle.
You're getting all the physical reps to get ready to play. But when you're the backup, and I started my career out here in Atlanta as the backup to Michael Vick.
So that's how I developed in this league. And then I got my opportunity in Houston to be the starter.
But then going back to the backup role, you just have to do everything mentally. You have to envision everything.
And then when you're doing the scout offense and giving the defense the looks for Sunday, you have to put yourself in the game. So it's just a little bit different mindset, but you try to prepare mentally as much the same as if you're the starter, but you're just not getting the physical reps.
And that's the big thing. But as far as driving a less swaggy car, I mean, I just drive, you know, Matt Ryan's the quarterback and he's been here.
He's got the like coolest Mercedes out there. So there was no endangerment of me like driving a nicer car than him.
So that was off the table. So, terms of personality, because I would assume when you do become the backup, there is a little bit more of like you're a team player.
Like you said, the reps, you don't get all the reps. You're probably having to do some scout work for the quarterback's room, for the offensive coordinator.
Is there something that you knew about your personality? Like, hey, I can last here because I'm a team guy and I enjoy just being around everyone, whether I'm playing or not. One thing that I embrace coming here, because I had a prior relationship with New Matt Ryan for a lot of years, and he's an established veteran, elite quarterback in this league.
For me, it was to be an extra set of eyes, to validate some of the things we're doing game planning-wise with our reads, our hots or, you know, what we're going to do versus zero pressure versus a certain defense or look and just be a sounding board because I've been in his shoes. You know, a lot of guys as a backup haven't been in a starting role.
So it's hard for the starter to trust what they're trying to tell him. And so to have that rapport and that respect between us was paramount and was great for the last five years.
And, you know, one of the roles that I took on was in a mentorship role for a lot of young guys. You know, the starter has to get himself and the guys in his huddle ready.
Well, I deal a lot with the young players, young offensive linemen, young receivers, young running backs, and be a mentor to them to help them develop into professionals and how they need to handle themselves week in, week out on the practice field, how they can develop into better players. You know, I took a lot of that onus on myself as a guy who's been around long enough to know and seeing how it can be done well and how it can be done wrong sometimes and just give those guys some advice.
I like that answer because I think we obviously have fun at the expense of some backup quarterbacks, but I do think people don't realize what it takes to be a backup quarterback. And you can't just say, oh, this guy was a starter for, you know, 10 years.
He's going to be a great backup. Like there's a certain personality trait being a good teammate that not everyone is built for being a good backup.
And good backups matter. They really do.
They do. I mean, first and foremost, your job is to be ready to go in and play and be able to execute the offense.
And if something happens to the starter, you have to be able to go in there and be trusted to win games. And if you can do that, that's paramount first and foremost.
And then from there, everything else is icing on the cake. But you have to be able to take on a certain role.
And some guys aren't made for it. And some guys that were a starter and don't want to go back to being a backup or go to being a backup because you know they've only known one thing and they're not built to do that and so that can be tough but if you have the right mindset and you put you know yourself in the back seat and you know realize there's other things that you can bring to the table for the football team you can last a long time yeah you can make a lot of money too if you do it there should be you know what we should do? Here's an idea.
For when the day comes when you do decide to hang the cleats up, Matt, you should start an Elite 11 quarterback camp, but for backups, for future backups. So just train them in all those skill sets that Trent Dilfer's out here flying kids out on his private jet, teaching them how to work out and do all these Elite 11 drills.
Have you do like a tandem camp where you kind of prepare them for the back of the office type stuff? Well, if that's the case, then my group of quarterbacks would unseat the guys on the private planes. Mine that are riding the bus or the sprinter vans to go to camp, we'll unseat those guys on the private jet at his camp that's right then you become the elite 11 guy yeah yes this is all like a long it's a project for you but um one thing that you said kind of struck me uh about how you would prepare as uh you know you'd give the the defensive look as a scout team quarterback for whoever they're going to play against being on the falcons what was it like when like, hey, Matt, can you emulate Cam Newton for the next week? Yeah, sometimes that can get a little tricky when you have a guy like that.
You know, you try to first for the defensive line, they like the cadence to sound the same as the other quarterbacks and how they say it so they can time up some of the things they're going to hear or what's going to be said at the line of scrimmage. So Cam has a unique cadence if you've ever heard it on tv or through the tv copies and so trying to emulate that was one thing but then just running around and all that you do the best you can but obviously my fleet of foot is not the same as his or when we would play russell wilson and seattle you know it's a little bit different so uh but you do the best you can you just give the guys looks on escaping out of the pocket and them having to work on their scramble rules and things like that and the defensive line is great because they can't touch us anyway so something's not there I just you just find an alley and you get out of there but obviously the quicks and the agility isn't quite the same but that's that's how each of us are built differently can you uh can you give us a sample of cam newton oh man you know it didn't even see how most of them are color number color number red 80 red 80 said hut yeah i mean it was it sounded like this is what we used to say in our room and cam if you're listening you probably laugh at this but man it was like he was ordering sushi it was like it was crazy it was like jimmy's it was wild and so it's just just say something that makes no sense really long.
And it's like, but it's all sounds like one jumbled up mess. Yeah.
All right. So we talk about you being a backup, but you were also a really good starter.
And we have to give you credit for that. You played in the playoffs in that 2012 season for the Texans.
Did you know right away when you got in the playoffs that you were going to be playing at that uh four o'clock ESPN game against the Bengals like that's when you think about that early Saturday game wild card weekend it's the Texans and the Bengals yeah and you know we had had that same situation uh the year before we had to play them and um so we were we were familiar with it when we when you find out you're that first game man that because it turns around pretty quick from your week 17 game to play them. And so we were, we were familiar with it.
And when we, when you find out you're that first game, man, because it turns around pretty quick from your week 17 game to that Saturday afternoon. So it's great.
You can just get ready and you can go play. And then when you win it, man, it's great.
You can sit back for the next day and a half and just watch the other teams battle that out. And it gives you an extra day rest usually for the next week, the divisional round game.
So when we found out that we were playing them, we had played them a few times the past couple years leading up to that. And to have it at home was great.
And for me, I missed the playoffs the year before when I hurt my foot in 2011. So to be back out there with my team and get a chance in the playoffs, man, it was such a cool deal and a cool time.
Who ranked these guys? Case Keenum, TJ Yates of Hell, and then did you play with Tom Savage? Was he in that room too? No, Tom came the year after I left in 2014. All right, then throw in Matt Leinert because I think he was on that team too for a little stretch with you.
Yeah, so, well, not in 2012, but in 2011 it was all four of us. It was me and Matt Leinart and TJ and Case.
And when I got hurt,

then Matt Leinart played against Jacksonville next week, but he got hurt in the first half.

So both of us got hurt with back-to-back weeks. And then TJ was a rookie out of North Carolina,

and he went in and played the rest of the season, the last four or five games, and then in the

playoffs. And he learned a ton.
He really listened. And we had a, between Gary Kubiak, Greg Knapper, quarterback coach, and me and Matt still being in the room, we tried to just be as much a sounding board and giving him advice and, you know, mentoring him as we could.
But, you know, Matt was great. And TJ is a young player, really did a lot for us and managed the football team and then when case came in obviously what he did at houston and uh in college you know speaks for itself with how we threw the football so he was great to have in the room as well yeah uh rank all the mats that you've played with at the quarterback position because you are i feel like we're losing we're losing out on on the uh era of the mat quarterback and they're kind of transitioning into being head coaches now well look at this like when i got to uh back here to atlanta in 2016 our quarterback room was matt ryan myself matt sims was our third quarterback and our quarterback coach was matt lafleur and we also had on our we all we also had on our roster matt boscher as our punter matt bryant as our kicker i mean every single digit player on our roster was Matt.
And then our quarterback coach, Matt LaFleur. It was like everyone had to have a nickname and have their own thing.
But you always knew if someone said Matt, don't look because they're talking to Matt Ryan. So, you know, you knew not to listen to that.
But between all those guys and that, you know, disaster of Matt's that we had on roster in 60 and I also had a Matt liner. And I think that might be it.
Like as far as the ones I play with, unless you guys did your homework and know somebody, it's been such a long career that I don't, I can't remember any other mats. Yeah.
I mean, it is crazy. 17 years is like, I know we said it at the top, but it's, that's an insane career and you're not even done.
You still a few years left, as we said. He was retired yesterday.
That's the shortest retirement, I think, in the history of the NFL. Maybe Brett Favre has a beat on one of those, but that's pretty good.
Well, the crazy thing about it is, going back to 2004, how much the game has changed, and really the world, social media, just how everything, society has changed in the last 17 years, not to mention just on the football field between the white lines. It's just, it's bizarre to think how far things have come and where the game's gone to.
It's true, the offense. Like, you basically watched the evolution of the modern game, like, completely change in these last 17 years.
Absolutely. I mean, the evolution of, you know, the RPO system that colleges are now, you know, bringing and NFL teams are bringing to the field in the NFL game, you know, it's a whole different ball game and it allows a lot of young players to play and have a lot of success early in their careers because they just have to read one guy and they either hand it off or you just throw a little slant or something behind it.
So, you know, the game has just changed so much and then just no huddles and and defenses the evolution of some of the zone pressures you see i mean it's it's bizarre how it's changed and how much more complex it's got i think um one thing i at least had forgotten about your career is that you were named the pro bowl mvp at one point so that was that's huge that was the year when people were like why is matt shaw going to the pro it wasn't your year. But I guess a couple of guys had dropped out and you'd gone.
Did you participate in that skills challenge that they had? So when I was gone, they didn't have that. They'd done away with it for a number of years.
And then they brought it back here in the last, I don't know, four or five years, I guess, for TV and to generate a little bit more excitement. Because you know how the game has gone.
gone on. Sometimes it's kind of like watching practice or two-hand touch for like three quarters until you get to the fourth quarter and then guys realize, okay, I'm trying to play for that money.
And you get a big bonus if you win the game versus you lose the game. So I guess just trying to develop some of that excitement.
So they didn't have it when I was going to the Pro Bowl. In fact, the first one I went to was down in South Florida.
It was the first year that they didn't go to Hawaii back in, right before the lockout happened in 2010. So it was the 2009 season, which was my best year and, you know, got voted in.
And then, yeah, like you said, the second time I went, I did get in because of someone dropped out, but we had a really good run game that year. So we didn't have to pass the ball as much Aaron Foster was rolling and so we had a very balanced attack in Houston that year yeah I mean you in 2000 so we need to do this we'll do um some like Matt Schaub PR releases for you but from 2005 to 2018 the only guy not named Drew Brees Phil Rivers Ben Roethlisberger, Peyton Manning, or Tom Brady to win the passing title was Matt Schaub.
I mean, you might be a Hall of Famer. Now that I just put that out there, right? Well, I mean, if you look at the fact that he threw for 527 yards in one game, which is the second most all-time, that still boggles my mind, by the way, that the record is, I think it's 554, 554 but it was in 1951 like no one's broken that's you talk about the game changing like was there that's bullshit was the 1951 record they didn't have a clock i don't think i don't feel like yards were the same distance back then it was just like some guy with a peg leg stepping off feet as best as he could wait but i'm looking at this matt like do you would you say drew breeze is a hall of famer matt 100 okay what about phil rivers yeah i think he's got a chance especially what he might do this year in the playoffs we'll see okay what about ben rothensperger yes okay what about peyton manning yeah yeah definitely okay what about tom brady you know it okay what about the other guy who led the league in passing it from 2005 2018, Matt Schaub? See? We just did that for you.
Well, you know, just the fact that I'm on here with you guys and you're saying this, man, you're really – my ego, I might just go out and play for 10 more years. I don't know.
You guys are really doing me some good right now. But, no, I don't think so.
I mean, I didn't start long enough. I didn't have enough of that success like those other guys but um that's how it happens sometimes yeah let us let us now we built you up let us tear you down um let's talk about the pick six record let's talk about the pick six that's also hall of fame worthy on its own right when you got to what was it how many games in a row four when you got to the fourth where you're like fuck I don't want to play anymore when I look back at that that year in 2013 I go through each one of those throws as they happened because there were a lot of good throws around those four mistakes you know but obviously those were enhanced and those were you know scrutinized and they were big plays and you know I put my team in a very bad position but yeah I mean there were there were moments like man I'm done like this is this is

terrible big plays and you know I put my team in a very bad position but yeah I mean there were there were moments like man I'm done like this is this is terrible but at the same time I you know you had to reflect on some of the good with those bad plays and there were a lot of good and uh you know obviously the team decided to move on after that year without me and so I had to you know refocus my career and what I wanted to do but man those were some tough times but hey even negative records have some positive twist them you're known for something you had something happen to you and it's just like negative publicity is good publicity because people are talking about you yeah they say you learn more from your mistakes than you do from your successes so at the end of that season you were a genius that's one way to look at it for sure no but it was it was interesting because when it was happening my when I was watching my mindset is if I were him I would probably fake an injury but that's because I'm a loser and I'll never be able to be an NFL quarterback that's the mindset of an idiot like me with you were you like using as motivation were you like ever down to a dark place where you were you know considering like maybe I shouldn't be a starting quarterback ever again no you know when I was going through it I never thought about that um because I knew I could still play and I knew I could still be a starter it's about an opportunity you know and and I let one opportunity slip there in Houston after seven years but you know just to be able to get another one that's what I was redirecting my mindset my to, because I knew what I could bring to a team and what I could do on the football field.

But that was a tough time. But when I look at it, the first one, when it happened, we won the game still.
We came back and beat Tennessee at home in week two. Then we had Seattle on week three.
We had them on the ropes. you know we had the ball with the lead when that one happened

when Richard Sherman you know intercepted it which

you know was a big mistake on third down should have thrown it away but then the other two you know they happened in losses at Baltimore and then at San Francisco so uh but when you have one and you win sometimes it can kind of get masked over you know you kind of hide some of your mistakes when you win so uh but when they happen and you lose or you lose by a score or something you know like that that's a crucial play in the game especially late in the football game i mean obviously it gets magnified even more all right so let me spin it back to a positive i got two for you one is uh i think the way our brains work every like five years i just added an extra one so if you had asked me what matt schobbs's pick six record was, I would have said six games. So we've reset it to four.
I know. I'm sorry.
That's just by, like, 2040, I would have been like, yeah, Matt Schaub once threw a pick six in 16 straight games. It was crazy.
In fact, I actually think. It would be a record forever.
Yeah. I actually think I did say last night we were taping another show.
I think I did say that it was six games your name came up in a trivia question um we've reset so it's four we've reset but and then here's the other spin zone uh who were a fan of this guy as well but you got a promising young quarterback in jamis winston who if he gets another shot we could erase that uh record of four we could and and let me just tell you this early in this season if you let's go back a little bit tom brady obviously is going to tampa bay he had a couple rough weeks to start the season yep do you know it because last year his last throw in new england against tennessee was a pick six the logan ryan correct yeah that's That's what I year in new england he started this year with a pick six in week one and week two so if you look at the records yes i had four straight games we got to week two tom brady was three straight games with a pick six so i was sitting there week three i was like tom please so you get tied with me it would have been great to just be right there with Tom with that record. You would have been a Hall of Famer.
Yeah, because it would have been another conversation with Tom Brady. It would have been great to be right there, have those names neck and neck.
But unfortunately, he didn't have one in week three, so he was stuck at three games in a row. But I was almost there tied with him with that one.
Yeah. One other really memorable time from your stint in Houston was the Andre Johnson fight when he just beat the hell out of Cortland Finnegan.
Oh, yes. How many times did you guys watch that in the film room afterwards? I think that's all we watched.
We didn't even watch the game film after that game because we won like 20 to nothing. We handled them pretty good, and we just watched that on loop for like an hour and and I think we spliced here because that was a long time coming that was probably two or three years you know boiling um and it came to a head that game and they were playing like the third string quarterback we handled them defensively we ran the football we did whatever we want offensively and it just got to that point where he Cortland was talking to our sideline and then Andre had just had enough and it takes a lot to rattle Andre Johnson but you could tell in the huddle like he was telling the official when we were getting in the huddle before that play because it had been going a couple plays before that and he looked at me goes something's about to happen and I remember we ran a run play away from it and so I hand it off and I'm carrying out my keep fake my boot fake away from it and i just turn and i see dre just has him locked up rips his helmet off and just gives him a call i was standing there just going like this just giving him an ovation yes yes uh and everyone loved it but it had been year it had been years and amazing texts from all different guys across the league that we knew and just being like thank you finally you know got a little fine but i think that got taken care of by like guys all over the league that's amazing receivers all over the league that's amazing um what about i mean we have to bring up you lost a piece of your ear you lost a piece of your ear in a football game how has it grown back well how does that work yeah so i so I saw last night on Twitter you put the picture of me at the podium against Denver after that game when my ear got mangled and you could see it was just – it was disgusting and, like, it was bad.
But what happened was when – I didn't lose part of my ear. When I got hit by Joe Mays in that game and my helmet went flying, the little speaker for the Coastal Quarterback communication system sits right behind your ear.
And when my helmet flew off the plastic edge of it, just sliced my ear and you know, it was bleeding pretty good. And they just put like whatever clotting agent or that, that stuff that to stop the bleeding all over it.
And so it like adheres and sticks and doesn't wash off or nothing. So that's why it looks so bad when I got done the press conference and got out of the game.
But I didn't lose a pizza wedge of a little triangle of my ear. It just sliced pretty good.
And I think it was made more of a big deal than it really was. I'm looking at a picture of it right now, Matt.
Matt, no, we're going to help you here, dude, because you're now, if you are actually retired and you're in the media world and you're, you know, the legend of Matt Schaub has to lost your entire ear let's see your ear right now let's see that left ear it's it's it's an artificial ear you're right it is it's fake it's not mine prosthetic they brought they hit that's all it is yeah you're right or maybe you lost part of your ear and it grew back really fast yeah you gotta let that you gotta let like my tweet like it does look when i say oh yeah and matt schubb's the toughest guy ever because he lost part of his year you just gotta let that just go what you should have tied to it is the play because it looks really bad when the helmet goes flying and everything like that i mean it it looked really bad and the funny thing about it is joe mays the linebacker for denver that hit me he was on our team in houston the next year and He was my teammate the following year. He's like, ear technology is incredible.
You have a full ear again. He's like, finally, I can sleep.
I've been thinking this whole year that you were never going to hear again. And he's the nicest guy.
So the day he signs, I'm in eating lunch with Dwayne Brown, who was our left tackle at the time. Big dude.
Awesome guy development guy comes up and goes hey we signed a player can you guys come over meet him and as soon as I walk over to the table and I see Joe there Joe just puts his head down it's just like man are you all right and I was like yeah I brought Dwayne over here because we got something we got to talk about I mean it was water under the bridge at that point but man it was funny to have him be on the team after what happened the year before.

All right, put that on the PR list.

Matt Schaub for Hall of Fame, the greatest one-year quarterback of all time.

That's also a fan.

I'm looking at the YouTube comments, actually, underneath the video of you getting your ear taken off by Joe Mays.

One guy says, this is FGC Fubles.

He says, I looked up this hit when I saw joe mays was on the texans

mays owes shab a steak dinner for this hit did he ever buy you a steak dinner uh i never got the steak dinner um no i never got i never got a meal from joe on that one but that's okay didn't eat it okay wwk frosty said yeah i lost a piece of my ear too but i was fine in all caps so he's tougher than you

and then

okay

then Silly Goose says

I was shocked when i looked this up in december of 2020 that shawb is still in the nfl so uh just making news all over the place to the youtube commenters that's fine yeah um all right so i want to bring up one more thing now for people who are listening they're going to be like hey why didn why didn't you bring up Dan Quinn kicking a field goal in San Francisco in 2015? You weren't on the Falcons yet in that year. But you were on the year the next year going to the Super Bowl.
After the Super Bowl, we've had Matt Ryan on the show. Great interview.
Great guy. Obviously, for him, it's devastating.
For you, it's devastating devastating but it's probably a little less devastating do you just like mimic his emotions and like you know like man that really sucked like how do what's the first thing you say to matt ryan after that game there's not at the time there's nothing you can say there's nothing that makes it go away or makes it any better in the moment.

I think you wait a few days, maybe a week, and you get together, play golf or whatever, and you kind of rehash things. But at the time, yeah, I mean, it was as devastating for me, I think, as anybody else, because you put in so much and you put in so much work to get to that point.
Albeit I'm not on the field performing, I'm still ready to do so or helping the team in whatever capacity I could. And at that point, you know, I had had a long career and that was my opportunity to be a part of a championship football team after a lot of hard work and time put in.
And who knows, you never know when you're going to get another opportunity. You don't know that could be it.
You know, it's, it could be one and never again. And when you miss out on that opportunity to get that ring, when you had things firmly in control through three quarters, you know, man, that's tough.
And there was nothing I could say to Matt to make it better or, you know, change what had happened. It was just shocking.
Yeah. On the sidelines during that game, during the second half, could you sense that there was, like, I don't know if there's a sense of panic or a sense of oh my god is this going to happen or was it still optimistic going into you know the fourth quarter like we can still do this we can still pull this out heck yeah I mean there was still optimism I mean we had been rolling all through December all through January as a football team and you know there wasn't any moments where we had big leads and we had lost them or whatever we were handling people pretty good so I mean it was just a matter of let's go down and get one more score offensively and one of those drives or like let's just get one stop defensively and obviously their offense had been rolling and they went up and down the field a couple times on us uh defensively and scored and we just couldn't get anything going offensively And we have one play, the one where Matt fumbled, Dante Houtower came in unblocked and got the sack fumble and put them in good field position.
We had a guy open down the field and we just had an error in protection up front. And, you know, if Matt could have got that ball off, we would have had a touchdown easily and put that game out of reach to where they didn't have enough possessions left.
But we still had the opportunity when we got down there and uh late in the game when we were still up i believe eight and uh you know we had the the sack the holding and missed an opportunity to just put some more points on the board put it out of reach yeah chris long your fellow cavalier really stuck it to you in that game that what was he like i have to assume that you probably knew of Chris Long long when you were at uva because of the uh the pedigree yeah he may have come on a recruiting visit was he more of a uh a scarface poster guy or a pink floyd poster guy if you know what i'm saying oh i think uh chris at that time i think he was more of a pink floyd type of poster guy uh But, you know, Chris lived in the area and, you know, his family, they had a place outside of Charleston.

So he was around a lot, came on a recruiting visit.

So everyone knew him.

And I mean, man, when he when he was coming out of high school, he looked like he could go right into the NFL and play defensive line.

He was, you know, he he was built and put together.

You could tell he had been working out with his dad and his brother since like the age of two, right. Doing pushups and squats and leg presses and all that.
But what a great dude and a great guy. And, you know, man, when I was leaving Virginia and he was coming in, you knew the program and everything like that was in really good hands with a guy like that, um, with his pedigree and where he had come from.
So yeah, we did over, we overlapped just a little bit there on weekends and recruiting visits. Yeah.
He is a great dude. He's a good friend of ours.
Um, all right. So I had, uh, one last question or kind of statement.
So you have a podcast that you're going to maybe pick back up called the quarterback corner with, uh, Doug Flutie now. So podcasting, I would assume some golf.
And are you going to do the retired quarterback thing where it's like, it's time for me to be a dad? Well, first and foremost, yes, I'm going to be a dad with my five kids. My wife has done so much to let me go out and play football and play a game.
So I'm going to be in car line, picking up kids, dropping off kids here for a little while and evaluate options. What might be next, but I'm going to do that.
I'm going to play a little golf, you know, spend some time just to decompress after a long career. But we'll see what's next.
I mean, I'll see what Doug Flutie and Maggie Hetzel wants to do. We did all through, I guess, late spring and summer and early in the season, did a podcast, The Quarterback Corner.
It was great to talk sports, talk football, you know, while everything was kind of shut down and no one really knew what was going to happen. And gave us an opportunity to just talk shop and talk x's nose and do things like that so we'll see if that comes back uh in in the fold and and after that who knows you know might play again who knows yeah no you're not retired who knows yeah you're not paper i have not i have not seen any retirement paperwork so we'll see we'll see what actually now, in talking to you and thinking about this, I think you have the greatest life ever because you now have, I mean, this isn't breaking news.
The contracts in the NFL are public. You are wealthy.
You had a 17-year career, and you're in that perfect spot where people probably don't hassle you when you're shopping at the grocery store or or in the car line but when like every now and then someone be like hey what'd you do and you're like i played a little football like oh really you like college high school like no 17 years in the nfl that's like the greatest mic drop that you can throw out there in like small talk conversation well i appreciate that and then you get follow up with what do you do you know and then you know it's it's funny to see people's reaction when you say that like when you respond to play footballs whatever and then what do you do you know because then when you show interest and then there's like well it's not i get but it but it's still interesting but it's like but to most people it's not as interesting as playing football so i mean definitely blessed and fortunate blessed and fortunate to have done this. Yeah, you should.
I mean, just a pro tip, if you do pick up the podcast again, keep saying, oh, I played football in the NFL. Don't say podcast.
Because when people ask us what we do and we say podcast, they immediately are like, so you're like a burned out loser. Well, I think my response is just going to be I went on pardon my take once for 30 minutes, got roasted by these guys.
They tried to build me up. They knocked me down.
But hey, I made it through unscathed. That's going to be my claim to fame.
No, but we're building you back up again. Yeah, that's coaching, baby.
That's coaching. Yeah, I do feel like there is some buzz around match top for the Hall of Fame.
I do too. There's some buzz.
Yeah. No, I've heard there's people talking.
In this room room specifically. Well, that's where it starts.
Every idea has to start somewhere. There's people.
It's a little seed that we're pouring water on right now. Here's what we're going to do, Matt.
We got an acclaimed Big J journalist who's right off camera. He is our former intern but full-time employee, Jake Marsh, who went to Syracuse.
He knows the journalism world. He's going to write a blog that says, is Matt Shab a Hall of Famer? And we're going to cherry pick all those stats and we're going to get the buzz going.
I appreciate it. You guys are the best.
That'd be great. Yeah, it's going to happen.
We just actually, I was looking at it more. We just need to get Deshaun Watson off the Texans because right now you own like every Houston Texans record.
Well, those things are made to be broken, and he eclipsed the single-season passing thing the other day. So, I mean, he's going to rattle off and roll off all of those.
He never took 527 yards. Jake, put down on the blog, Matt Schaub, great player, even better guy because that was an even better guy answer.
Also, what about your holding ability? Have you ever bot you ever botched a hold no no say no no i don't i don't think so no i have perfect career hold on no the one fire call that i had um at chicago back in 2006 i'm not i'm not driving anyone under the bus but you know it's kind of a rough snap it was like minus 30 degrees so the snap was i I to smother it in the ground couldn't get it up and so we had a little fire call that we had to do that one doesn't count so it's the best holder in the history of the nfl yes yes um all right well the more the more they always they always say the more you can do if you can hold you can do all this different stuff you know then you can last 17 years yes um we really appreciate you joining us, man, especially short notice.

Congrats on the kind of retirement, but not retirement. Congrats on continuing your career as breaking news on part of my take, but we really appreciate it, man.
And for another five years. Yeah, you're good.
So when you do retire officially, we'll have you back on. I appreciate it, guys.
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
All right. Thanks so much, man.
That interview with Matt Schaub was brought to you by our great friends over at Noom.

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Sign up for your trial at noom.com-O-O-M dot com slash P-M-T N-O-O-M dot com slash P-M-T and now, here's John Kuhn. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on our good friend John Kuhn. We talked about the low man to start the show.
We thought we would get John Kuhn, fullback extraordinaire, voice of the Packers on radio. I don't even know what you do.
I don't really care, dude. Let's just get to it.
Fuck you. I hate you.
I know you're mad. I jumped on you on Twitter when you said you hated Aaron Rodgers, and you probably should hate Aaron Rodgers, but I had to.
You left it wide open. Let me ask you this.
Does Aaron Rodgers, you know him, you know the guy, does he take special pleasure in beating the Bears? Because it feels that way. Well, you're damn skippy.
It just comes easy to him. It's like second nature.
Some people are really good at what they do, and when he plays the Bears, it's like he's in an extra groove. It's like he hits an extra gear.
Let me ask you this because we've discussed the Packers all year, and the word that has come up more often than not is soft, the S word. Are the Packers, in fact, soft? Because I feel like they kind of found an edge once the weather started to turn.
Once it became football weather in Lambeau, that's when they started to turn it off. You know, it's crazy because I think this team that has a 13 and 3 record just like last year's 13 and 3 record is entirely different um one of the words that was brought up last year a lot with this Green Bay Packer team was soft you're exactly right and I think that moniker kind of stayed with them into 2020, but they have seemed to remove that the last six weeks of the regular season

and going into 2021.

I can't say – I don't think anybody out there can say they're soft anymore,

the way this defense has been playing, especially with what it did against

Tennessee when they were the number one offense in the league.

So, to me, this is the best Green Bay Packer football team probably in a decade yeah no i um so i obviously i'm biased obviously i have hate in my heart but i also do pride myself on at least telling like somewhat truths last year all year i was like they're frauds they will get exposed that happened this year anyone who listens to this show knows that I've clammed up in the last month. I actually said the Tennessee game was essentially like, if the Packers win that game convincingly, I will officially be on, I'm nervous about the Packers winning the Super Bowl watch.
I do not think they're frauds. I do agree with you that they're very good this year.
What is, though, what's the weakness? Like, what's the one, or maybe it's not even a specific specific unit but like what's the game flow that can get them kind of fucked up if you're an opponent looking at the nfc uh playoffs you know cat this is going to piss you off because i think the game plan offensive it's a lot what the bears did the last game right the way they started the game you got to control the clock you got to limit possessions for aaron. And the Bears did that.
Where they failed in their game plan is you got to do it for 60 minutes and you got to score touchdowns. That's the only way you're going to beat this team this year because their offense is so efficient.
Number one in the red zone. And the way that they can score either quick as hell or take seven and a half, eight minutes off the clock, it doesn't really matter.
They can beat you multiple ways on on offense so your best bet playing them is keep them on the sideline i think a team's gonna have to run the ball effectively and then their defense is gonna have to get pressure with four or five because you cannot leave the back end wide open and put a linebacker on the fastest man on the field and expect that to turn out okay okay well what about this what about the packers beating themselves because the last the last time they look really bad yeah and the fastest man on the field are you talking about mvs because he can't catch oh yeah well he and listen what would you rather have big cat would you rather have one for two or would you rather have zero for zero so i just say run that son of a bitch down the middle of the field okay every time throw it to him and you get a touchdown 50 percent of them i'll call heads you call tails and we'll see what we get but that my favorite thing to talk about when it comes to like a really great team is to be like well they can beat themselves so that their own worst enemy could be themselves in the wrong instance like earlier this year i remember they played the bucks and aaron rogers sucked against the bucks so if aaron aaronucs. So Aaron, that was the rare game where he was doing baby pumps, and he was throwing pick sixes.
So what happened that game? Because I need to go back in time and figure out who he was mad at. Was he mad at LeFleur? Were they at each other's throats before that game? And he was like, I'm going to go out there and try to do some weird shit.
No, that game was crazy. Yeah, that game was crazy, and and i'm gonna go back in and watch it again uh this week because that's who i think they're gonna have to play here um in the divisional round when it comes around but what they started that game what wait do you know who the bucks are playing wait that's a double disc it's a two yeah it's a two because if the bears win they play the packers yeah it's a two for and you're saying the bears and the washington football team are out If you want to come on this podcast and spit in our faces, maybe I need to reevaluate your credentials for the Lowman Council.
Oh, come on, guys. Listen, I'm just doing lockdown parlays here.
That's all I'm trying to do. I'm trying to throw you a couple parlays here.
Okay. All right.
So, seriously, that Buccaneers game was a wild game. Aaron and Matt LaFleur actually handled the pressure that the Bucs threw at them early

and led, you know, 10-0.

I thought the way that they handled that was tremendous.

However, their cornerbacks, the Bucs, they're notorious for this.

If you ask scouts around the league, their corners like to sit down there

and bait and jump on routes.

And they got Aaron Rodgers.

They got the best quarterback in the game this year. They baited him right into that quick pass to Devontae Adams that we see him complete every single week.
But that's the defensive scheme that they like to run. And when you score a touchdown defensively, and then next series you intercept the ball and put it down on the one-yard line, that's an enormous momentum swing.
And then, as you guys remember, David Bakhtiari left that game.

Making a switch mid-game is one of the hardest things to do for an offense,

especially an offensive lineman going from the right side of the line to the left side of the line.

They were in all kinds of trouble, a world of hurt.

They were just kind of hit by a tidal wave there.

I don't know if it plays out the same way, if they play each other,

but definitely the Buccaneers are one of those teams that have a set of skills

that can compete with the Packers coming into Lambeau Field.

So who, so... it plays out the same way if they play each other.
But definitely the Buccaneers are one of those teams that have a set of skills that can compete with the Packers coming into Lambeau Field.

So the Bucs, and then what would you say, like ranking the other?

Because, listen, I know that you've already written off the Bears

and the Washington football team.

That's okay.

We said on Monday's show we're just here for a good time.

Oh, I don't want to see Washington either.

There you go.

Yeah, yeah, you don't want to play the Bears.

Hard to beat a team three times, John. I have no fear of the bears this year honestly because no and no this is not a schneid on the bears but this year um the the trade that they had with uh you know swapping defensive end for defensive end with leonard and quinn it just not has not worked out in their favor that seems seems to have hurt Khalil Mack.
And when Akeem Hicks isn't being absolutely dominant in his position, drawing all kinds of attention, Khalil Mack isn't the same guy. He's getting

too much double teams, too much attention from offensive coordinators to really be impactful

this year. And most of that has to do with Leonard being out there now in LA and not with the Bears

anymore. Did you just say that Akeem Hicks might be the most important player on the Bears defense I've been calling that all year long no I've been calling that forever all right you're a smart guy your football credentials check out wait who's the most important player on the uh Packers defense and offense give it to us because this is a this is when you can separate the true football fans from the casual football fans.
There's a difference between best player and most important player. So who is it for both sides? Well, it's Aaron Rodgers.
They've played six games without Devontae Adams the last two years and they've won all six. Yeah, Aaron Jones is the most important player.
Yeah, I was going to say Robert Tonian. You know, Bobby Tonian is – and we say it Tonian now, fellas.
Yeah. We got to make sure we get it phonetically correct.
But Aaron Jones, yes, but gosh, man, how many times have we seen Jamal Williams and even A.J. Dillon a few weeks ago come in and do what Aaron Jones was not doing at that point in time in the game, really bring an edge, bring a hard downhill physical run.
I think Aaron Rodgers, you know, you talked about that Bucs game. That's really the only blip on his radar, his season.
Everything else he's been absolutely lights out. And plus, guys, he gets the plays adjusted at the line of scrimmage.
He's running LaF running the floor is all he's basically walking up to the line of scrimmage every time with two to three plays and he calls the play at the line of scrimmage for the offense it's got to be aaron rogers but on defense i honestly think the the biggest impact player the reason why their defense has really come along these last few weeks is because adrian amos is dropping in the box cat, that's going to make you mad. Yeah, fuck you.
But he's dropped down in the box. But he – that guy has speed to cover, you know, the free safety back end spot.
But him being in the box in tighter quarters and not shying away from physicality, being an aggressive type of defender, really suits his set of skills. And it was a spot the Packers were missing for the longest time when they go you know dime or what they call Bronco so I feel like what you brought up with Aaron Rodgers is really interesting about how like LaFleur has given him this freedom because it sounds a lot like a parent of a child and this is like a teacher thing too where you want to make the student or the kid feel like they're in control.
So you give them two options that you've already preselected. So you're like, do you want to do the dishes or take out the trash? And they're like, well, I'll take out the trash.
But in reality, you just made them do a chore that you needed done. But they feel like they're in control of it.
Would you say that LeFleur's biggest strength is that he makes Aaron Rodgers feel like he's the alpha? Yeah, I mean, you're going to win an MVP award. So at some point in time, you got to really determine who the alpha is here.
But you make a great point. Matt LaFleur, with what he's done this year, in the course of two years, last year, this offense was not like this.
And it's pretty much the same cast and characters, guys. So what's been the change? What's been the difference? Yeah, Robert Tanya was injured last year.
He had less catches last year than he has touchdowns this year. That's awesome.
That's because he was injured, however. The rest of this offense is basically the same as what it was last year, and it's just that much better.
I think Matt LaFleur really is using his guys to their set of skills. Like I said, forget messing around with MVS anywhere near the line of scrimmage.
Run his ass straight down the middle of the field and make the whole defense turn around and run backwards trying to chase him. He's done a great job with that.
He's done a great job with the connection with Aaron and Devontae Adams. And I don't really know what else to say about this offense other than they're the best in the league.
Well, let me say this, and you should talk to aaron about this could you imagine and this is just i'm just throwing this out there could you imagine this offense if they had chase claypool or t higgins on it those guys were available when they drafted a backup quarterback just saying that would be insane it would be incredible i mean they would be they would have broken records. Yeah, that's crazy, John.
Sounds like they should have. He would have won the MVP for sure.
Wow. Nobody would be talking about Derrick Henry as a possible candidate.
Okay. What about, well, maybe it's, I mean, I'm looking back over the timeline of this last year.
Back in June or July, Danica and her crystals left town. All of a sudden, Aaron Rodgers' talent is fully unleashed on us with the crystals holding him back.
I actually do think that in a weird way, like, and Aaron Rodgers probably never say this out loud, but like, well, actually, no, I think he said something like this after the draft, but like drafting Jordan Love, he does seem like a chip on his shoulder type of guy where it's like if people, I mean, we've heard the stories about how getting passed in his draft and falling all the way in that green room pissed him off. So when he's pissed off, he clearly plays better.
Yeah, I mean, honestly, was the drafting of Jordan Love is that what inspired Aaron Rodgers to be this great this year? I don't know. Aaron credits a pass that he watched himself throw from practice in 2010.
I don't know if I buy that. He also credits squatting 405 pounds now.
I don't know if I buy that. He did that? Wait, he went back and watched a pass that he threw from 10 years ago.
What was he doing? I actually do believe that because he's a psycho he's a psycho he is not he has not he has not you know going into the detail of this pass he promised us that he will let us know at the end of the season what the pass was who it was to all the details about it and why it made such an impact on him this year and yeah that might be a cool little niche story and squatting 405 pounds uh might be a great story for a quarterback but guys you saw the Jordan documentary, right? Because that's, I mean, that's what it was. It was a Jordan documentary.
Think about how many times he said, and that's when I made it personal. And what did he do every time he made it personal? He was an absolute rock star.
Did Aaron Rodgers make it personal this year? I think so. All right.
So he punched Jordan Love in the face face during practice is what i'm hearing from correct um all right let's let's talk real quick uh john about the low man trophy so this is obviously going out on wednesday we already had it but can you tell us who you voted for and why yeah i voted for uh mason stocky to win it and uh you talk about a guy who started the season on his football team with the first touchdown of the year. And he goes to fullback U.
I know Wisconsin fullbacks have won this award like three years in a row, but I still can't help it. He played in all the games for the Badgers this year.
He played very well. In fact, they have a couple packages where they have three fullbacks in the backfield at the same time.
Who doesn't love that? That's like a fullback's wet dream. So, yeah, I had to go with Mason Stocky as my vote.
Plus, I'm trying to take the guy under my wing and do a little bit of training with him this offseason and see if I can't help him out before he gets into the league, you know, get a couple fullback assists next year. Hell yeah, I like that.
It's kind of one of these damned if you do, damned if you don't situations

with Wisconsin fullbacks because they've got so many of them.

It was awesome watching them in the Mayo Bowl when they had plays where they'd have, like,

the Mayo Bowl was awesome.

Yeah, they'd have, like, two fullbacks blocking for a third fullback who was getting the carry.

But it might be a situation where they split each other's votes.

In fact, since this is coming out on Wednesday, I can tell you this is embargoed though, John, you can't say this until after 6 p.m. Eastern tonight.
I won't tell anybody. He came in second place.
So it was the closest vote. He lost by, he lost by.
Tell me who got, was it army? Was it the army fullback? It was, yeah. It was the Buchanan ball.
Okay, that I can live with. When you played 11 games with COVID this year and you basically you know said this to covid i can appreciate that to a guy who goes out there and runs the football in a wing tinks in a wing t style option offense that's good i'm glad to hear yeah he's 260 pounds six feet so like that's uh he is he is a bowling ball that's hilarious so yeah he is the winner we appreciate you being on the committee um i had a quick question for about like end of That's hilarious.
So, yeah, he is the winner. We appreciate you being on the committee.

I had a quick question for you about, like, end-of-the-year stuff.

So you've played on the Saints, obviously.

You played for Sean Payton.

Does he really try to get all of his guys paid?

Like, does he know going into games, this guy, if he gets, you know,

two more receptions or if this guy scores one more rushing touchdown, he hits an escalator in the contract. I'm going to try to get him some more of the owner's money.
And that's why players like playing for me. He is such a player's coach.
He's a terrific mind. He loves to find ways to get his starters the ball at specific times when they can be successful.
So, yeah, so they can reap all the rewards. But I'll take it a step further.
It's not just getting paid.

I can remember Michael Thomas' second year. He had an opportunity to have the most catches out of anybody in NFL history through their first two seasons.
And we were playing down in Tampa. We had a division locked up.
We had seen that Carolina had already lost, so we were safe to lose the game. And we were getting beat.
And we throw, it was two, three, back-to-back,

just wide receiver hitches to Michael Thomas.

And I'm thinking to myself, what the hell are you doing right now?

You're going to get Mike T.

We need him for the playoffs because he was balling at that time.

What is going on?

I found out after the game that he did it just so that Michael Thomas

could set that NFL record.

I thought that was pretty cool. That is cool.
All right, John. Worst of luck to you, dude.
I'm worried. I'm actually worried.
I'm very, very worried about the Packers. Like I said, I am at least honest that last year I felt confident that they were going to blow it.
This year I don't feel as confident. I'm just praying.
I'm just praying. So I don't know.
I don't know. I just hate the bears and the Packers games are the worst days of my life.
You know, I'll tell you the truth. We wanted in 2010, 2011, I felt like we were going to win it.
2014. I felt we had a very good shot to win it, but we had to travel to Seattle.
Every other year I played, I was scared to death of some team out there that we would have to face at some point in time. Even last year for this Packer team, I had some reservations.
This year, honestly, I look around and I just, I don't know if it's something in the stars, how efficient Aaron Rodgers and the offense is, or the fact that the defense is actually like borderline right on the edge, top 10 defense, which Aaron Rodgers has almost never had, or maybe it's all three of them combined. I do, man.
I really think they have a strong chance to make a case for that Superbowl championship. So who's the one team though that can do it like to pit.
I know you said earlier, the football team, you don't want to see them, but you're just being nice to me. They do have a team of Destiny vibes.
Would it be the Saints? Well, the thing – no, I'm not – and I love the Saints, and I would love nothing more than an NFC Championship with the Packers Saints and just let them go at it, let them duel it out. Because I remember how Sean Payton would coach that game.
He would try and take the ball as much as possible out of his hands. You guys don't believe that, but he would.

Go look at what happened when they went and played Seattle in the Legion of Boom up there in Seattle

when they went 7-9 and they ended up losing to the Beastquake.

He didn't even try and throw in that game.

All they did was run power and try and slug it out with him.

He would do the same thing with Alvin Kamari,

do the same thing with Latavius Murray.

He would try and outthink and outcoach Matt LaFleur

up in Lambeau Field. I think it'd be a tremendous game to watch, but I think they'd come up a little bit short.
I think the teams truly to worry for the Green Bay Packers are in the AFC. I think it's the Chiefs with their ability to score really fast, and I think it's the Buffalo Bills because Josh Allen somehow grew a hose in the last offseason and can throw the ball at any point in time on the field to any spot on the field.
So those two teams scare me a little bit if they happen to make it to the Super Bowl and if the Packers happen to make it to the Super Bowl. But I was serious about the football team.
I don't, we saw them last year. They had like six sacks against the Packers and that defensive front with the 15 first round picks that they have, that's a scary proposition for somebody to have to drop back and try and make sure they get rid of the ball before they get munched on by one of these six six you know 300 pound guys yeah like munch okay yeah we're gonna munch we're gonna munch this weekend um all right well john thank you for participating in the low man trophy as always uh you're one of the best voters we have and uh i'll take it back i like am i the only one that responds no no we've got he's got everyone you lorenzo i mean i can get into all of them but it's going to take a while I'm going to back.
I like you. Am I the only one that responds? No, no.
No, he's got everyone. We've got you, Lorenzo.
I mean, I can get into all of them, but it's going to take a while. I'm going to leave somebody out.
Alec Ingold, T-Bob Hebert. Hank Fornelli.
Hank Fornelli. We've got a lot of guys out there.
Anthony Sherman votes. Can we talk about how Danny Vitale ghosted us? Who? Oh, yeah.
Can we talk about how Danny Vitale has ghosted us? He took a year off. He took a leap year.
He took a leap year. We think that Danny, I think he's off the grid right now.
I think he's gone like full Thoreau. Who's the guy from Into the Wild? Ted Kaczynski.
Ted Kaczynski. Christopher McCandless.
Yeah, so Danny, he's lost everybody's number. He doesn't have a phone anymore.
He doesn't have a Twitter account. He doesn't have an Instagram.
If you know Danny Vitale, let us know that he's okay. Send out an ABB with one more milk cartons.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. We'll find him.
But, John, thank you, and hopefully we see you soon, man. Always fun, guys.
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Okay, let's wrap up.

We got guys on chicks.

Hank?

Ladies?

How do you break the poop area with your boyfriend? Oh. Poop barrier.
A lot of lube. I would say, I would assume this is just pooping in an apartment.
Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.
Yeah, I have the conversation. So it sounds like you want to break the poop barrier.
Oh, I wouldn't. I don't like.
I would just pretend you're showering. You got to leave some things mysterious pretend you're showering you can say turn on the shower i'm showering again you could say like i'm just going to be in the bathroom for this is why every single it should be a code in america where every single apartment listed for uh for two people has to have at least one and a half bathrooms yeah just do the shower the shower though.
Run the water, get some matches. It's not that hard.
How much, I mean, obviously Leroy, rest in peace, but how much would you guys analyze your dog's poops? Like for health and stuff. Is there a followup question here about Normie? Is Normie okay? No, I just do it.
Like I'll be picking up his poop and I'm always like, you know, take a look. I'm like, Oh, you know, what's the color like today? Like, what's going on here? Hank, I'm happy you brought up Normie.
I used to have a bearded dragon, and you could see, like, if you fed him a mouse, you could see. I don't know if you want to do what you're about to do.
I don't want to do what I'm about to do, but I've seen some videos of a very, let's just call him riled up Norman. What's going on? Is this dog? Dude, Norm peed in the house last night.
Is he still, is he still just. While Hank was he's got an...
Horny all the time? He's got an absentee father. Yeah, what's up with him? Oh, he's just got a bear that he really likes, and when they get together, you know, he's a guy.
He's taking hard body a little bit too far. He's just like us.
Has he gotten spayed and neutered? Yes, he has. So this is just for life now.
He's just gonna be fucking shit for life. Yeah, probably.
He's like Wilt Chamberlain. Well, and like, you know, I brought him to my parents for break.
We didn't bring the, you know, his fucked bear. And he was just depressed the whole time? So when he was back, he was really excited.
Yeah, I mean, that's like a teenager that, you know, gets the house to themselves for the first time in a week. Yeah.
All right. Let's just pretend this is real for a second.
Yeah. Humor, humor, humor this person.
Hey, PMT fellas. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years and we're 21 years old.
He's very sweet, kind, loving, caring, good in bed and always goes out of his way for me. You probably don't know any better.

21 years old, been with the same guy for seven years.

He is just in bed.

You were in bed at the same time as him.

There's just one problem.

He had an affair with my dad

but he has no idea that I know

my sister found out because she caught him

through a baby monitor for my cousin.

What in the world should I do?

It's just kid stuff. You should make a documentary about it called Vanished in Plain Sight.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I think you have to sleep with his mom.
I don't know. Yeah.
I think you need to address this. If this were real.
Do you address it with the boyfriend or the dad first? I think both at the same time.

Yeah. Yeah.
Let him just go. Yeah.
But yeah, I think if this were real and this were 100% real, I do think this is something that, and I'm giving a real answer here, you want to talk about at some point. It feels relevant.
It it feels strange that this relationship is still going on at this point he did he seven years no it was no no i'm saying are you do you really trust your sister though what she was the one who said she saw oh so it could just be like if you were a jealous sister and you wanted to cause an issue you'd'd be like, yo, I saw your boyfriend and dad on the baby monitor.

Good addition, Billy.

Classic, yeah.

Yeah.

No, you're right.

Billy got it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Every sister that's jealous is like, yo, I saw your boyfriend sucking dad's dick. Also, remember, this is a sister who's seen a seven-year relationship what yeah she wants her own yeah what about this what if the dad

doesn't like the boyfriend is like we need to get rid of this guy because he's going to propose and

then he'll be in my life forever so he told the sister tell her that you saw me sucking his dick

and then if she comes to me i'll admit it and then the boyfriend's gonna be like what what what the hell is going on further?

He's like,

what?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

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What? What? What have done. What? Just's a Billy take.
A Billy take is like, what if they just caught each other's eyes and they started wrestling? And I'm not saying this in a bad way. I'm saying you would just wrestle a guy.
Two consenting guys can wrestle. That's fine.
You've never wrestled a girlfriend's dad i'm not i'm not saying this in a joking way i'm saying this is why people sometimes are like why like why is billy what you don't understand is billy is untapped unfiltered straight from the source you know straight from the rocky mountains bro so when he hears this he's like well they could be wrestling, but Billy's right. Because like, there's like an unspoken thing sometimes where it's like the, the two people that are closest to this girl in her life are her father and her boyfriend at the time.
It happens in the wilderness all the time. Guys just see each other.
You make eye contact and you start wrestling. Watch a planet Earth for me once once.
He's testing. Two fucking guys, the two bucks going at each other.
In that video from Hong Kong, I was walking around wearing pink shorts and no shirt while I was on MDMA. Drugs.
There was another guy. He walked by.
We looked at each other, and we just started wrestling, and it was guy stuff. Yeah.
And you just shake hands. Sometimes in nature, just see another person and you gotta wrestle.
He's making

sure that he can defend his daughter.

Yeah, and he was doing it like Greco-Roman

style back in the day.

Okay, but we've given you enough to chew on.

Alright, a couple more. Sup boys and Happy

New Year. My fiance and I just got engaged

in September after being together for eight years.

I've asked him on more than one occasion

if he would ever make a sex tape and he always

says no, but if he asks me I always

say yes. He thinks it's weird and always

drops the conversation. Does he actually hate me? No.
I don't think so. I think he just doesn't want to make a sex tape.
Sounds like you have different goals. I think he's probably a little woke on Big Brother looking at everything, which is the correct way to do it, right? He probably gets weirded out by the conversation a lot.
well you're very you're very eager for this are there other tapes of you i should know about how often have you been bringing this up sounds like a lot billy we want to tell people the young people who are listening why your cautionary tale of why you shouldn't do a sex tape i think snapchat is gonna have a huge blackmail on future politicians. We should make sure that cloud gets deleted.
Yeah. For the politicians.
Not for you. No, no, no.
Not for me. But in the future, think about it.
Think about it. You have a bunch of dumb 14-year-olds and teenagers and stuff.
And then in the future, they might become important people. And there's a whole cloud of data is like not you know yeah no politician I think that there will be a scandal that happens in the next like 20 years where a Comcast or a major internet service provider just gets hacked are they release a bunch of documents and it's just everybody's search history and everybody's internet history mm-hmm but guess what at that point we're all fucked together.
But we'll probably be judging future presidential candidates on stupid Snapchats. Of them chugging beers and stuff.
But it might actually because our society gets so fucked up, we might be like, yo, that guy's shotgun was two seconds, his was four, I want the two-second guy. Or it might be like, this dude's shit is huge and hilarious.
The guy with the biggest shit on Snapchat gets to be present. Shotgun is four seconds.
What a pussy. All right, we'll end with this one.
Is eating a single Eggo waffle versus two sociopathic behavior perhaps early warning sign for future serial killer? No, just eat waffles as you please. I'm pro-waffle in any circumstance.
No, no, but you can't eat one. You got to eat two.
That's the question. You got to eat.
Just eating one, it comes in a pack of two, right? What if you save one for later? Well, you're still eating two. Yeah, but you're not eating two right then.
There's no way that one fills you up. No chance.
No chance one fills you up. Zero chance.
What if somebody steals your ego? Well you gotta say let go but two two you have to eat two always eat two how can you not eat three four maybe that's why someone comes back and they're like what you only ate one it's like no i actually ate three dude you you realize what's happened to us we've been brainwashed by ego because they're the entire premise of their commercials from like the 80s and 90s where somebody trying to steal one of your eggos and you'd say lego my ego and now it's like it's you cannot let that happen why do you think pringles are so popular because once you pop you can't what about lays finish all the pringles what about lays what it was i bet you can't eat just one there go. Tootsie Roll Pops.
They got us.

How many licks?

They got us.

One, two, three.

Love that guy.

The owl.

Right after my own heart.

Just fucking take a bite.

Go salve mode on it.

Billy, you got an animal fact for us?

Yeah.

Before we play balls?

Male and female hyenas both have penises.

That's pretty cool, I guess.

Oh, go, go.

That's very inclusive.

100, 100. 18, 8, 5, 14.
90, 70. I guess.
That's very inclusive.

18.

8.

5.

14. I'm trying not to get it.

What'd you say, Hank?

5.

No more.

What'd you say, 8?

8.

Always 8.

80.

What'd you say, Liam?

98.

98.

45.

Brian Arakpo.

Love you guys.

Wasn't Warren Sapp? 98? 98po Love you guys Love you guys

Thank you. Shying away.
I'll be coming for your love of grace. Shying away.
I'll be coming for your love of Take on me Take me on I'll be gone And after I'm too Needless to say I'm all sick Thank you. It's better to be safe than sorry Say after me It's better to be safe than sorry

Take on me

Take me on

I'll be gone In a dark dream All the things that you say Yeah, easy to lie, but Just to blame my worries away You're all the things I've got to remember You're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway You're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me on I'll be gone.

In a sea.

I'll be gone In a day I'm out.