Week 16 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, Smashing Watermelons And Playoff Scenarios

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Speaker 4 On today's part of my Take Week 16, we got a recap of every single game.

Speaker 4 Who's back of the week? Fastest two minutes. Playoff implications up the ass.

Speaker 4 We literally spent all day watching football, just throwing, lobbing, playoff scenarios at each other, trying to figure it out. That's what we don't need no nerd.

Speaker 4 We don't need, we don't need Steve Cornacki telling us what to do. We have our dumb brains in the playoff machine.

Speaker 5 I need my two hands: one computer on the playoff machine, the other on 538's playoff simulator, like Alicia Keys playing both at the same time, getting all the scenarios right.

Speaker 5 I feel like I'm ready, but I feel like once I learn a new thing, I forget the last thing.

Speaker 4 But it's also fun to unravel the new thing. Like, ooh, I didn't even realize this.
We'll get to all of that.

Speaker 4 PAC show,

Speaker 4 last show, last

Speaker 4 full show, live show of 2020. We have a best of coming on Wednesday with some new interviews.

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Speaker 4 Okay,

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Today is Monday, December 28th, and it is week 16.

Speaker 4 Kinsiniera, no Kinsiniera. Kinsinier.

Speaker 4 Kinsaniera plus one. Sweet 16.

Speaker 4 I didn't do well in Spanish class.

Speaker 4 We start in Las Vegas where Tua was playing like Pua and the Dolphins played Tua's occult chairs with their quarterbacks, bringing in Ryan Fitzpatrick Mahomes and a no-look pass to win the game.

Speaker 4 Josh Jacobs Marley kept the chains moving, but it was the ghost of Gruden's past that haunted the Raiders on Saturday night as a coach watched his team suffer another late season collapse.

Speaker 4 Jason, footprints in the Sanders, was carried by Jesus above the crossbars as Dolphins get their one step closer to the playoffs. Dolphins 26, the

Speaker 4 Raiders 25. What? What?

Speaker 4 In Pittsburgh, where Philip Three Rivers met the Steelers for a game with all the playoff implications.

Speaker 4 Ben Gothlesberger was brooding in the first half, but then found the cure in the second for a furious Steelers comeback. James Joyce Connor wrote another chapter in the Steelers Odyssey.

Speaker 4 And look away, Joe Buck, as Michael Jackson Tomlin has a Steelers moonwalking into the playoffs. As Big Ben took a look in the mirror and saw an AFC North champion.
Steelers 28, the Colts 24.

Speaker 4 In Jacksonville, where the Bears win. B.I.G.
Big looking so good. I want to suck on your daddy's dick.
But this with just me and my Mitch. Me and my Mitch.

Speaker 4 Mike Vladimir Glennon passed away and left the Russian attack stalling. Jimmy two times Graham played basketball in college, played basketball in college, and caught a pair of scores in the blowout.

Speaker 4 In a touching tribute to their former general manager and coach Tom Coughlin. The Jaguars are officially on the clock for the number one pick one week early.
Bears 41, Jaguars 17. What? What?

Speaker 4 Did someone shit in the jacuzzi? Because the Browns got in the hot chub time machine to relive some old school misery in the meadowlands on Sunday.

Speaker 4 Jameson Irish Whiskey Crowder threw up a shot in the first half to get the Jets going and they never looked back.

Speaker 4 The Browns receivers went mask off, putting their future in jeopardy as the LeBron's James Jr. are smashing like on their fifth Lhasa of the year.

Speaker 4 Jets 23, the Browns 16, in Kansas City, where my good friends Dan Lebetard Quinn and Matt Mike Ryan Ruiz will no longer be seen on ESPN come January as the Falcons have been eliminated from the playoffs.

Speaker 4 While former Chief Larry Johnson stays woke, these chiefs sleptwalk through the first three quarters of the game, almost fumbling away an easy win. Fumble!

Speaker 4 The kicker from the A-team missed the T, shot wide right to bring the game to overtime, leaving fans shouting, I pity the coup. Chiefs clinched the one seat, 17-14.

Speaker 4 Over to Baltimore, where J.K. Rowling-Dobbins was very offensive towards Martinez, Pepras, Crowder, and the rest of the Giants pronouns.

Speaker 4 Wayne Gallman Milk couldn't stop the Giants' offense from having IBS and pooping all over themselves.

Speaker 4 Ravens fans feeling like they're taking a superdose of MDMA as everyone all over Baltimore is throwing up the X as Des Bryant finds the end zone again. The Ravens 27, the Giants 13.

Speaker 4 Oh, oh, sorry, where were we? I was just dropping off some of the little schwammies at the swimming pool, if you know what I mean. Oh, oh, yeah, Bucks 47, Lions 7,

Speaker 4 And down to Washington, where T. Dwayne Haskins was in love with a stripper, but is unable to hit the dump.
Taylor Heineke Carcare Bowl couldn't fix the football team's muffled punt.

Speaker 4 And Teddy Roosevelt Bridgewater has Washington's fans missing their cousins, or at the very least, a leader whose legs don't work. Mr.
Smith, please report to Washington.

Speaker 4 The Panthers take down the football team. 20, 10.

Speaker 4 Sticking in the NFC Beast, where Jalen hurts so good hurts no good. And Jalen played like a Hurts rent a Carson Wentz as Eagles fans are confused on who they want to be their quarterback.

Speaker 4 Michael Scott McCarthy smashed a watermelon, making everyone who bet on the Eagles feel like ignorant sluts.

Speaker 4 And the Cowboys, unlike their owner, are very much alive heading into week 17 as Michael gallop in these guts. Fuck the Eagles secondary all afternoon long.
The Eagles, the Cowboys, a lot.

Speaker 4 The Eagles, a little.

Speaker 4 Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 4 It's Taysom Hill, my lord. Bolstering Alvin Scores and stopping Kamara from getting seven TDs.

Speaker 4 Come on, Zimmer. Your future's dimmer.

Speaker 4 Did Breeze get his ribs removed? He's looking slimmer.

Speaker 4 Saints go marching.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Week 16 in the books.

Speaker 4 That was the fastest two minutes in sports.

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Speaker 4 Okay, week 16.

Speaker 4 The Packers might be a decent football team.

Speaker 5 Packers in the snow.

Speaker 4 That's cheating.

Speaker 5 That's cheating. Also, Aaron Rodgers went too fast for one of the refs tonight.

Speaker 4 That's cheating.

Speaker 5 He did put a hard count on the officials. And then the next time that they got the ball, they snapped it before Mike Vrabel could take a look at the replay and throw a challenge flag.

Speaker 4 So, yeah. Okay, so yes.

Speaker 5 Aaron Rodgers is a very good player. Very good MVP, some might say.
Everyone's turning this into like a, oh, if Patrick Mahomes had these numbers, Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 5 Actually, you know what I saw a little bit of tonight for the first time in a long time?

Speaker 4 Oh, if...

Speaker 5 Aaron Rodgers was going through these speed bumps like Patrick Mahomes is going through,

Speaker 5 the media would turn on Aaron Rodgers immediately. So you have to look at everything good that Aaron Rodgers does through a prism of what if it happened to another good player.

Speaker 4 Aaron Rodgers is the MVP. It sucks.
If I had a vote, I wouldn't vote for him, but I don't have a vote, so I have to just sit here and say he is most likely going to win the MVP.

Speaker 4 It's probably deserved. The Packers look awesome.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4 The Titans are, I don't know what. I mean, they're kind of what we think.
Like, they're just,

Speaker 4 they can look explosive sometimes, but their defense is not good.

Speaker 5 This was the fraud bowl.

Speaker 4 It was a fraud bull, and the Titans unfortunately lost the fraud bull. I don't believe in the Titans.
But then you say to yourself, oh, but Derrick Henry, just fucking jam it down someone's throat.

Speaker 4 I just don't think their defense can hang. Their defense can't hang.
Like, they just can't.

Speaker 5 No, they have no pass rush. They have zero pass rush.

Speaker 4 And they just don't get off the field on third down. So I do think it was cheating.
I opted out of this game as soon as the Packers started kicking the shit out of them.

Speaker 4 I opted back in when the Titans made a five-point game. But

Speaker 4 the snow was cheating, and the Packers looked really good, and whatever.

Speaker 5 That's big of you, though, to admit that they looked really good.

Speaker 4 They looked really good.

Speaker 5 Do you think that it would be appropriate of me to use

Speaker 5 a connection that I have to try to get the Titans better with the pass rush, better on defense?

Speaker 4 Yes. No, wait, no, do it.

Speaker 5 Not for the Titans. Yeah.
So Clay Matthews wants to come back and play.

Speaker 4 Okay, do it.

Speaker 5 Mike Vrabel. Yeah.
You're listening to this show right now. Yeah.
This is me networking with Clay Matthews, whomst I played Call of Duty with the other night. Okay.
He said he's in pretty good shape.

Speaker 5 Now, if this is...

Speaker 4 He can get you at least three roughing the passer penalties at the worst possible time. Now, Mike Vrabel,

Speaker 5 if this means that you're going to cut a boy to bring in Clay Matthews, please ignore everything that I just said. Don't do it.
Don't do it.

Speaker 5 But if it means that Clay can stick around, well, no, if you want to cut Taylor, that's fine.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you can cut Taylor. That's fine.
Yeah, yeah. He won't mind.

Speaker 4 Don't cut the boy.

Speaker 5 The boy.

Speaker 4 The terrible haircut.

Speaker 5 Who also had, yeah, the pinky fucking Will Compton.

Speaker 4 I mean, I, Will, like, I get what he was doing because he unveiled the peaky blinders look after, but you got to do the peaky blinders look first.

Speaker 5 No, it was the big reveals.

Speaker 5 You know nothing about showmanship.

Speaker 5 Dude, but this is boys being boys. This was a guy getting.

Speaker 4 The haircut on its own, like, I actually said to myself, did he cut his own hair? Yeah, no, no, I think he might have. He might have.
Yeah, I think actually he did.

Speaker 5 It looked like, I don't want to say it was a bull cut. It was more like a Yamaka cut.

Speaker 4 It looked like when they were hazing Tim Tebow. Yeah.
Well, reverse. Yeah.
Reverse of that. But it was that bad.

Speaker 5 It was pretty bad.

Speaker 5 But hey. Yeah, don't cut that.

Speaker 4 Also, Halloween was like two months ago.

Speaker 5 Who cares, man?

Speaker 4 It's called cosplaying like cats. Whatever.

Speaker 4 I shouldn't be hating.

Speaker 4 Listen, his look was the definition of tough. When I saw that, I said to myself, I saw his Instagram.
I was like, damn, he looks tough.

Speaker 5 I think you're legally allowed to kill somebody if you're dressed. If you got like a pocket watch hanging out, I couldn't pull it off.

Speaker 4 It's like

Speaker 5 you look like a bootlegger from the 20s.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, he looked tough. Unreal.

Speaker 5 And then I'd also like to bring, if we're talking about cheating, Devontae Adams Calitz are cheating too. Yep.
Chris Collinsworth gave them the MVP.

Speaker 5 So actually, you know what? If you did have a vote, if this podcast had a collective MVP vote, I think right now we'd have to get behind Collinsworth. He is the pro football focus guy.
That's true.

Speaker 5 So I'm going to trust what he says. His classes are going to be a good idea.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Packers are good. The Titans are not.
I don't know what else to say.

Speaker 5 It'd be fun if Track Dorcito got 233 yards next week, got 2,000.

Speaker 5 I don't think he's going to get there, yeah.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 we have the entire week 16 board to go down. We're going to go through all of the different playoff scenarios.
Read the Magic Johnson tweet one last time.

Speaker 5 Well, which one? Because you put another one out there. This is probably the one that you were talking about.

Speaker 4 That's why you don't even have to watch the game.

Speaker 5 I think Aaron Rodgers is going to win MVP this year.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 5 because he and the Packers have been dominate all season from start to finish. Plus, Patrick Mahomes.
Oh, there you go. He's talking about Patrick Mahomes and the team.

Speaker 4 Do the other one.

Speaker 5 Do the other one.

Speaker 5 With the Packers having home field advantage in the playoffs, they will be tough to beat because of the cold weather and the snow. Exclamation points.

Speaker 4 That was the exact moment that I was worried about the Packers making a deep run.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're going to be tough.

Speaker 4 As soon as Magic Johnson has figured out the key to the Packers' success and he just lets it out there like that, I'm like, fuck.

Speaker 5 It's amazing because I've spent all day today going over all the playoff pictures and all the scenarios and the the more I learn about it the less I know about it it's like the universe or vagina and when Magic Johnson just comes out and he just spills the beans like that it's like it was that easy all along yeah he just I've been reporting this for six years he just tweeted it isn't that what was that yeah that was uh

Speaker 5 was that about one of the Trumps yeah that was one of the times he just went and he tweeted it yeah that was that was one of the first times that Trump Donald Trump was definitely not going to be president anymore.

Speaker 5 Back in like 2016.

Speaker 4 Oh, you just went and tweeted it. All right.
Let's get to the rest of the week 16 slate. We're starting.
We're going back in time all the way to Christmas Day. Vikings

Speaker 4 33, Saints, 52.

Speaker 5 It never even felt that close. Like, no.
When you said that the Vikings scored, how many points?

Speaker 4 33.

Speaker 5 You see, if you had asked me offhand how many they scored on Christmas Day, I would have said like 10 points.

Speaker 4 The quote of the game was in like the first quarter, I want to say it was. Troy Troy Aikman just straight up said this Vikings defense isn't really good.

Speaker 4 So when you have an announcer just admit that straight up, you know it's going to be a long day for them. And Alvin Kamara,

Speaker 4 six touchdowns. I started him, or I was going up against him in 19 of my 24 fantasy championships.

Speaker 4 Was so bad, PFD. Ruined my Christmas.
But yeah, the Saints, like this was... This is the Saints recipe.

Speaker 4 And I know, obviously, the Vikings defense is that bad. So you can't be like, hey, just score six rushing touchdowns, seven rushing touchdowns, right? Because Taysom Hill had one.
He got six.

Speaker 5 Taysom Hill came in, pulled one away. And that's one of those situations where when you're watching the game, you know that Sean Payton is trying to get somebody paid with that touchdown.
Yep.

Speaker 5 He's a big, like, I can see why players want to go play for him because he's like his own little mint down there. He's like his own little bank.

Speaker 5 Where if he knows that one of his guys is standing to get like a some sort of incentive in his contract, Sean Payton will get that guy paid. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 His owner's like up in the booth, like, god damn it, Sean did it again. Cost me another like $500,000.

Speaker 5 But yeah, Sean Payton, it was weird when he put Taysom Hill in for that touchdown, but then he made it up to everybody. But I wanted a little reward for watching that game.

Speaker 5 Like, give me a little bit of history, Sean Payton. Right.
Let me see some guy get seven touchdowns on Christmas Day.

Speaker 4 I there should be a Christmas Day football game every single year. I know that's impossible because Christmas, unlike Blake Portals, you know, it does move around in the calendar.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 Not the date. But the day.

Speaker 5 We had a game on every single day of the week this year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was great.

Speaker 4 So it was great to have, especially because there was a lot of blowouts in the NBA. But the Saints,

Speaker 4 I'm a, you know, like an old record.

Speaker 4 I'm beating the dead horse. I don't want to get too far into it, but I still believe that Drew Brees is what holds back this team.

Speaker 5 He definitely looks limited. He's

Speaker 4 had nice stats, a lot of yards.

Speaker 5 But in the first half, he had a couple throws. He had, you know what he had? The head scratchers.

Speaker 4 The head scratchers? The head scratchers. And

Speaker 4 the Saints are a really, really good football team.

Speaker 4 And I'm not saying Drew Brees can't just have a month where he throws back time, takes a couple shots, and all of a sudden he's back to old Drew Brees, but

Speaker 4 it feels like we're just heading on a collision course to a big game where Drew Brees needs to make like five to six huge throws, and it's just not exactly the same as it used to be.

Speaker 5 If the Saints can play against those Vikings, then yes, they will win every single game because Mike Zimmer was just on the sidelines hating his football team.

Speaker 5 He usually reserves that sort of hate for his quarterbacks, really.

Speaker 5 But Troy Aikman's hate of the Vikings defense is something Troy Aikman usually reserves towards like Doug Gottley or Skip Bayless firing off at the hip about something.

Speaker 5 But they're a really, really stinky defense.

Speaker 4 Really bad defense, and Dan Bailey is still employed. I don't know why, still missing kicks.

Speaker 4 But yeah,

Speaker 4 the Saints are really, really good. The Saints are really, really good.
I mean,

Speaker 4 we can go through this because we're going to go through all of our playoff scenarios but i absolutely put the saints in super bowl contender yeah uh like tranche whether drew brees can get them there i don't know

Speaker 4 but in the nfc they are one of the teams nfc is kind of like weirdly loaded because yeah who else is in your super bowl tranche because i feel like in the nfc yeah the seahawks obviously

Speaker 4 the seahawks and i i guess we can go to the we can go to the next game right now but i guess if the bucks could play the lions every every day if the bucks could play the lions in every round of the playoffs, they are my prohibitive Super Bowl favorite.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, it's a major asterisk game because you could count that as a flip-the-switch game for the Bucs offense. You know what, Biquette?

Speaker 5 I don't know what it was, but everything finally clicked for this Bucs offense this week. They were firing on all cylinders.
They

Speaker 4 were involved.

Speaker 5 They got Antonio Brown involved. They got Mike Evans involved.
Everything. Leonard Fournette looked like he had two working legs and a soul this week.

Speaker 5 I don't know what it was, but something about that offense this week.

Speaker 5 Matt Patricia must have been sitting at home just like firing up his own little old takes exposed Twitter account, just like retweeting everybody that was talking shit about his defense earlier in the year.

Speaker 5 Because say what you want about Matt Patricia, and I will, and I'll continue to do so in the future.

Speaker 5 But at least he was a coach on defense.

Speaker 4 Well, they didn't have coaches. Yeah, no one coached defense.
They didn't actually have coaches.

Speaker 4 We had two weird COVID situations, the Browns wide receiver core and the Lions coaches. They had, who was it, Evan Rothstein? And there was someone else who was coaching that was like, what?

Speaker 4 What is going on?

Speaker 5 I was shocked to learn that the Lions had coaches.

Speaker 4 It was kind of like a choose your own adventure. Like, what would happen if you had to coach an NFL team? Right.
Well, you'd lose 47-7, and the only touchdown would be a kick return.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, at least we got to see like a little mizoo off at the end. We got Chase Daniels and Blaine Training.
And Chase Daniels, just, he's not meant to be playing. He's meant to just be chilling.

Speaker 5 You pay Chase Daniels $6 million a year to be a good dude, like a fun fun guy to hang out with in the locker room. It's a locker room.
Yeah, and not to mess up the chemistry of the team.

Speaker 5 You don't pay Chase Daniels $6 million to go out on the field and play against the Bucs.

Speaker 4 No, you don't. So my question to you is: this is the Bruce Arians did the right thing by benching Tom Brady at halftime.
Tom Brady had 22 for 27, 348 yards, four touchdowns in one half of football.

Speaker 4 They were just scoring whenever they wanted. We even had Robot Gronk, which was fucking sick.

Speaker 4 I think it's actually more insulting to bench your quarterback in halftime than less insulting. Like, it is the right thing to do in sportsmanship and be like, hey, we don't want him to get injured.

Speaker 4 We also don't want to run up the score too much, which, by the way, this over was an absolute travesty. If you had this over, I apologize.
That was just two overs

Speaker 4 in that stadium in two weeks. The MAC championship game in this game, where it was two extra points missed and also a field goal.

Speaker 4 When a team scores 47, the over should hit. That should be be in law.
Like, if I were president, I'd make that a law. If the team scores 47 in the NFL, the over hits no matter what.

Speaker 5 Why not take out some of your defensive stars, too? Yeah. Like, be consistent on both sides of the ball.
Be like, hey, if you're still watching, at least I'm going to treat you to a few points. Right.

Speaker 4 But don't you think it is like it's sneaky more insulting to be like, hey, we don't need our starting quarterback for an entire half of this game? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 And as a viewer, I tuned in to watch Tom Brady play. I've seen Blaine Gabbert play.

Speaker 4 The Blaine train was electric. One for one.
his first pass was a touchdown pass.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think that my biggest takeaway from this game is kind of like it's gone along with the story of the Lions season, which is I feel bad for Matthew Stafford.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 5 He got hurt again. He's a tough guy.
And I'm just spending most of my energy when it comes to the Lions thinking about where I'd like to see Matt Stafford go.

Speaker 5 Like a list of teams that Matt Stafford could not turn into a contender.

Speaker 4 All he could make him contender.

Speaker 5 It's pretty much the Lions and the Falcons because no one can really work magic with the Falcons. Maybe the Jets.

Speaker 5 But the Jets are 2-0.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Jets are the hottest team in the NFL right now.

Speaker 5 But yeah, I feel like Matt Stafford next year, I want to see him go somewhere fun, somewhere where

Speaker 5 he can thrive for a little bit.

Speaker 4 The problem with Matt Stafford is he did sign that long-term deal with the Trey. I don't know how many years he has left.

Speaker 4 I kind of respect that. Like, I know some people are like, well, he's not a winner because he signed on to be with this terrible organization.
Sorry, Lions fans.

Speaker 4 But I respect, like, dude, just get your money. Have your life.
Maybe, you know, put up a Hall of Fame career in my eyes, stat-wise. But the Bucs, let's talk about the Bucs real quick.

Speaker 4 So the Bucs, first time in the playoffs since 2007, that was the second longest playoff drought, the Browns being the longest. So it's crazy.
2007, who started that game?

Speaker 5 2007. For the Bucs.

Speaker 4 Against the Giants. The Giants won the Super Bowl that year.

Speaker 5 Phil Sims.

Speaker 4 Jeff Garcia. Oh, really? Jeff Garcia started that game game for the Bucs.

Speaker 4 And it also was the last time that John Gruden went to the playoffs, which we'll talk about John Gruden in a minute.

Speaker 5 That was the start of John Gruden just collecting quarterbacks. That season that he brought in like Jeff Garcia.

Speaker 5 He brought in Jake Plummer, who I think was there for like two weeks and was like, I'd rather go play handball, see ya.

Speaker 5 But yeah, that was the end of the one Super Bowl Gruden dynasty in Tampa.

Speaker 4 Yes. And so

Speaker 4 the other stat, which is crazy, just to even see it written out, is that the Bucs made the playoffs for the first time since 2007, and the Patriots missed the playoffs for the first time since 2008.

Speaker 4 Tom Brady is a playoff machine.

Speaker 5 That is crazy.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, that's nuts to think that it's been that long. Honestly, like for the Bucs, it doesn't feel like it's been that long.

Speaker 5 I don't think of the Bucs when I think of the biggest losing franchises, but you forget that the Rex Ryan years in New York were actually not bad.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 4 it kind of

Speaker 4 proves what one Super Bowl can do for a franchise. Because you're right.

Speaker 4 You don't think the Bucs losers, but the Bucs really are losers with, you know, they're losers, and then they had a five-year stretch where they were winners, but like they were really, really bad for a really long time in the creamsicles.

Speaker 4 They've been really bad pretty much the last 15 years, but they're back in the playoffs. Happy for Bucs fans.
Stephen Shea, that's pretty much who we're talking about. Shout out, Stephen.

Speaker 4 I know you're listening right now. Hopefully we did the ads correctly.
I'm happy for you. I still don't believe in the Bucs fully because I don't think that they can just flip the switch.

Speaker 4 It still feels like a team that you're going to like,

Speaker 4 we're going to watch a playoff game and they're going to struggle to move the ball. And you're like, how is this happening? They have all of these guys.

Speaker 5 The Bucs are going to get to play against probably an NFC East team in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 But if they have to play the Saints, they're in trouble.

Speaker 4 They have to play the Packers. They're in trouble.

Speaker 5 Yeah, if the Bucs have to go to Lambeau, and as Magic Johnson taught us, in the playoffs in Green Bay, it's actually going to be very cold and possibly also snow.

Speaker 5 That's going to be an issue for Tom Brady, who says that he will never move back up to the northern United States.

Speaker 4 Right. So credit to the Bucks, though, first time since 2007.
That's awesome. Any playoff drought that gets

Speaker 4 eliminated is cool. And then the Lions, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's tough. That's bad.
It's tough.

Speaker 5 It's really bad.

Speaker 5 Have they said who they're interviewing yet? I know some teams are starting to do the thing where they tweet out who they've just completed an interview with.

Speaker 5 I like that when teams get me posted on that. Like every team in the NFL so far that has a coaching vacancy, I think, has interviewed Marvin Lewis.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes. Marvin Lewis is a hot name for some reason back on the streets.
Very hot.

Speaker 4 Probably because of Marvin Lewis. Marvin Lewis is putting his own name out there.
Hugh Jackson's probably putting his name out there.

Speaker 5 He's bringing Hugh Jackson with him. It's a package, dude.

Speaker 4 I don't understand why interim head coaches, Daryl Bevel had the one-game bounce, the dead cat bounce, where an interim head coach comes in, does well for a game. They beat the Bears.

Speaker 4 If I were an interim head coach, I would.

Speaker 4 Pretty much they always win their first game because guys just try really hard. I'd just fake a heart attack after that and be like, yeah, go out on top.

Speaker 4 Have them carry me off and then just be like, I'm out. I'm out.
I'm 1-0 as a coach. I'm out.
Jim Tom Sula should have quit after the first game.

Speaker 5 Jim Tomsula doesn't quit anything, though.

Speaker 4 He's 1-0. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So, yeah, I think that what teams should do is they should just stick with a hot hand when it's an interim head coach. Just like if you won your last game, boom, you're in.

Speaker 5 Or just cycle him in and out. Like, there's nothing to stop the Lions from.
It's pretty much what they're forced to do at this point. Right.

Speaker 4 Just like have a new coach every week a celebrity coach have kid rock have eminem i like that have detroit don detroit don could get detroit don is an analytics guy i sat with him for a game he was crunching numbers left and right he was just like we're fucked yeah no he was actually very smart he was like we're statistically we're we're back in this thing when they were like they were like five and nine or five and eight and he's like listen if we win this one and then we win the next one and then the next one and then a bunch of teams lose we're back in this yeah it should be a fuck a fan contest pretty much, where it's like the season ticket holders are now eligible to become head coaches for one game.

Speaker 4 Yes. One week.

Speaker 5 The caller with the strongest take on local Sports Talk Radio should get the opportunity to put his money where his mouth is and get down on the sidelines.

Speaker 4 That's genius. All right, so

Speaker 4 the next Saturday game, the Amazon game. Shout out to everyone who was probably pissed off because they didn't have Amazon Prime.
What are you doing?

Speaker 4 It is a sad realization when I realize that my entire life is living in fear that there will be a game I gambled on and I cannot watch.

Speaker 5 Oh, it's the residual effect of Army Oklahoma.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes. So I, so I, like, people were tweeting like, dude, you probably don't have Amazon Prime because I'm a very staunch cable, cable, cable, because I need to be up to date.

Speaker 4 I have every streaming app. I have Flow Sports.
I have Fubu TV or Fubo TV. I have fucking the Facebook Live when I need to watch a game.
I've watched games on shit that you don't even know exists.

Speaker 4 Pluto TV. I'm naming shit.
Like, I've watched games on all these things.

Speaker 5 Where's the one that the like CONCACAF is always on? BN? BN Sports?

Speaker 4 Not BN? BN Sports. Yeah, dude, I got BN.
Fuck yeah. I was watching Mexican soccer a few few months ago because I had I had money on the game.

Speaker 4 So I have my life is just living in fear that there will be someday I'll wake up, have action on a game and not be able to watch it. So yes, I had Amazon Prime.
It was kind of weird.

Speaker 4 It was just like, what did you say about the host?

Speaker 5 The host was like, the best way to describe him would be like,

Speaker 5 he's like a robot version of Chris Fowler, or like, you know, how ESPN has the machine that they just crank out Rhys Davis's one by one by one? Yep.

Speaker 5 He's like, if you left Chris Fowler in the Rhys Davis machine for like two days, he's overdone. He's overdone.

Speaker 5 It's like, okay, this is too much tall, polished, white guy, dark hair, sports casting in a giant studio getting piped into my

Speaker 4 dog. Call Bezos up.
He'll buy him for half price.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's the robot dog of the Rhys Davis machine. I agree with that.

Speaker 4 His name was Rhett. Yeah, Rhett.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 I mean, there was a glitch.

Speaker 4 No offense to Rhett, but but his name's Rhett.

Speaker 5 He seems nice.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 His name's Rhett.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it seems like if Jake Marsh had like seven head injuries

Speaker 5 and didn't know anything about it.

Speaker 4 And a computer chip.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and computer chip that like one of his professors at Syracuse had installed in him and to like how to be a sports broadcaster. That's what this was like.
It was a weird thing.

Speaker 4 This is going to suck when Rhett is like, I've been at AWS since day one.

Speaker 5 I mean, he seemed like

Speaker 5 you seemed like a nice guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, say he seemed like a nice guy.

Speaker 5 Two teams. But yeah, it was also correct.
It felt like the right two teams to be playing in an Amazon game. Yes.

Speaker 4 Like they were futuristic.

Speaker 5 They're both kind of like high-tech and weird, like hot coaches.

Speaker 4 And they also, like,

Speaker 4 in the future in the NFL, everyone will share a stadium. Yep.
Which is what the Cardinals and the 49ers have been doing.

Speaker 5 It's the we work of stadiums.

Speaker 4 Right. Everyone's going to, we're just going to be playing games around the clock.

Speaker 5 They disrupted the national football league.

Speaker 4 Yeah, in a stadium in the clouds. Yeah.
But yeah, so the Amazon game, this is the future of Amazon's going to buy the NFL.

Speaker 5 Eventually, yeah. Yeah, like don't get ready for this.

Speaker 4 You think it was a one-off. It is not.
Amazon is going to buy the entire NFL.

Speaker 5 I mean, it'd be power move if they had the entire Sunday ticket.

Speaker 5 And there are so many people that don't understand streaming that watch the, like, they just got caught up on how to operate their Direct TV remote last season.

Speaker 5 They just memorized what the red zone channel number is. They just memorized where to find their team every Sunday.
They probably don't even use the entire Sunday ticket package.

Speaker 5 They just know the channel that their team is usually on.

Speaker 4 And that,

Speaker 5 they're going to be so confused when everything is streaming.

Speaker 4 Yes. Oh, yes.
Very, very confused. All right.
So, this game, though, George Kittle's back. I fucking love George Kittle.
The hot mic when he said I fucking love the Bears.

Speaker 4 This game was big for the Bears. Playoff Destiny.
Let's talk, though, real quick about Cliff Kingsbury. Yep.
Cliff Kingsbury. Are we sure he's good? No, we're not.

Speaker 5 I think we've established that

Speaker 5 I don't think he is good at all. Actually, I am sure that he's not good.

Speaker 4 It's kind of amazing

Speaker 4 when you look back at Cliff Kingsbury's entire resume and you realize like, oh, attractive people do really run this world.

Speaker 4 Like if you are a good-looking guy and you can walk into, or a girl, and you can walk into a meeting and wow someone, you can fail upwards all the way.

Speaker 4 Cliff Kingsbury was 35 and 40 as a head coach at Texas Tech.

Speaker 4 He had two winning seasons out of six. He was 19 and 35 in conference.
And now you're probably saying, hey, big cat, like, okay, Texas Tech's hard to win at. Well, Mike Leach had 10 straight winnings.

Speaker 5 Another very good-looking guy.

Speaker 4 Tommy Tuberville went 20 and 17 at Texas Tech. I personally went 9-3, 7-2 in conference, not to brag.
Baylor game

Speaker 4 ate a little bit of a weed brownie, whatever. Shit happens.
Okay, so the Cliff Kingsbury, like, he's never been good. I don't get it.

Speaker 5 No, it was very bizarre when they hired him. And he was never like, he was interviewed to be a coordinator, I think, a couple of years ago, right?

Speaker 4 Yes. At the NFL.
So that way he had a job as USC offensive coordinator, and then they hired him.

Speaker 5 But his interviewing or his NFL experience comes from like doing one interview to be the offensive coordinator for an NFL team. That's his experience in the NFL.
Then he comes to the league.

Speaker 5 He hasn't really won where he's been at. And this is honestly kind of what I expect.

Speaker 5 But I feel like the main reason that I don't like the Cardinals is because they don't fit into what my identity of the Cardinals should be with Cliff Kingsbury. Like, their defense is too good.

Speaker 4 Well, Vance Schultz's done a great job. Vance Schultz has kept them a lot.

Speaker 5 But what I'm saying is, like, I think I would appreciate Cliff Kingsbury more if their defense kind of stunk and they were just in shootouts all the time, and it reminded me of a Big 12 game. Right.

Speaker 5 So, if they were giving up like 35 points a game, but their defense is like top 15, I think, top 12.

Speaker 5 So, it doesn't really jive with that identity that I have where I'm like, okay, I'm going to tune into a Cardinals game. It's just going to be a points fest.
Right.

Speaker 4 And so, Cliff Kingsbury, not very good the cardinals needed this game and on the other side of the sideline uh

Speaker 4 kyle shanahan is incredible kyle shanahan is winning games with backups backups cj bethard who billy had said had swag i'll give him that uh i was wrong he was right because i just needed the niners to win again shout out george kittle jeff wilson was like their third string running back and i like robert so it is robert sola season everyone's gonna be talking about him But that guy put Cliff Kingsbury in a fucking box.

Speaker 5 Dude, and I'll tell you who the real MVP of this game was, was Robert Salah's holdback guy. Yeah.

Speaker 5 There were a couple instances where he got out on the field like 20, 30 yards and just got dragged backwards like he was in a bungee cord.

Speaker 5 Like he was trying to do some wind sprints with a parachute on his back. It was amazing.

Speaker 4 And again,

Speaker 4 we're not like geniuses, football geniuses. We just like

Speaker 5 good looking and feel upwards.

Speaker 4 Right, exactly. But it just feels like when you have Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins, your offense should win games against the 49ers who have nothing to play for and a bunch of backups.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, DeAndre Hopkins, I like how it's got to be Cliff Kingsbury who's leaking out like DeAndre Hopkins is not putting in the effort at practice that's necessary, which is why we're not passing the ball.

Speaker 5 I think DeAndre Hopkins is one of maybe like three or four players in the NFL that you don't really need a super high level of effort from him in practice.

Speaker 5 Because whatever, it's like Devontae Adams Cleats,

Speaker 5 DeAndre Hopkins' hands, there's something weird about them that just makes them so much better than everybody else that plays that position. Agreed.

Speaker 4 Agreed. All right, so anything else on this game?

Speaker 5 No. No, I don't think so.
Amazon game is strange.

Speaker 5 Honestly, it's pretty much what I expected out of this game.

Speaker 4 It took me like 15 minutes to get the closed captions off, which drove me insane.

Speaker 5 How do you get closed captions on the internet?

Speaker 4 I don't, dude, I just turned it. Because

Speaker 4 I watch every movie ever.

Speaker 4 With closed captions on it.

Speaker 5 So you're like reading a book while you watch a movie.

Speaker 4 You realize.

Speaker 4 completely defeats the entire plan of watching a movie all right here here's what all i'm going to say is i started it once i uh started watching peaky blinders what like five years ago because you couldn't understand a word they said you realize especially with like cell phone and you're watching i have three tvs so i'm watching two games underneath you miss so much if you're just like passively listening when you also have to do a little bit of reading you pick up everything so i'll i'll stand by it i don't care i watch every single movie i call me old guy i I am.

Speaker 4 Whatever. I watch every single movie now with closed captions because I feel like I pick up everything.

Speaker 5 That is really weird.

Speaker 4 I don't think it's that weird. I think there's more people who come out of the woodwork and be like, same.

Speaker 4 And I mean, again, I'm not like young. I didn't do this when I was 23.
I'm about to be 36.

Speaker 5 I think it's too many words for football. Football is a story.

Speaker 4 Well, no, obviously it's true for football. I turned it off for football.
Yeah. But it was on because of the movie.

Speaker 4 Amazon Prime. Well, it's the only time I'm watching.
Eventually

Speaker 5 you'll forget how to turn it off, and then you'll have to call over your younger neighbor to see if they

Speaker 5 operate the TV for you.

Speaker 4 I tried, and then I realized there was just a CC button. But yeah, no, I had it on for movies.
The only time I watch a football game on Amazon is once a year until Amazon buys the whole thing.

Speaker 4 And then, yeah, back to movies. All right.
Dolphins Raiders. Saturday night.
FitzMagic. What a fucking.
That game was so boring. And then Ryan Fitzpatrick came in, and it just.

Speaker 4 Everything changed. And like both sides.

Speaker 4 He just, something about him makes everything more fun fun and awesome, and it was chaotic and crazy, and I don't know what they do with Tua, but I have a quote for you from John Gruden.

Speaker 4 So John Gruden was criticized for the end-of-the-game situation where they don't score a touchdown. They leave Ryan Fitzpatrick like 15 seconds.

Speaker 4 I have no problem with it because you need basically what happened to happen. I don't a crazy play and a face mask.
Otherwise, you're giving him, I don't know, like 45 seconds.

Speaker 5 I don't have a problem with it, but I know who does have a problem with it in retrospect is John Gruden.

Speaker 4 Well, no, he doesn't. I think he doesn't quote you.
No, because this is, I actually agree with John Gruden.

Speaker 4 It's damned if you do, damned if you don't, because they scored too early against the Chiefs, and Patrick Mahomes killed them. So here's the part where John Gruden is like fucked in the head.

Speaker 4 His decision-making is right there. He essentially...
compared Ryan Fitzpatrick to Patrick Mahomes. He said, we did that against Kansas City, honestly.

Speaker 4 We scored with 115 left, and Mahomes went down and beat us. I didn't want Fitzpatrick to have the ball.
He's a gunslinger. He's hot.
That's all I can say.

Speaker 4 So he's just putting Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Mahomes. He's basically saying they're the same guy.

Speaker 5 Okay, but if you score a touchdown, then you take the field goal. You take that off the table.

Speaker 4 What do you mean? Yeah, you're right, but it's another 45 seconds. Yeah, but he's saying he did.
He is right. He did the opposite earlier in the year, and it burned him that way.

Speaker 5 I agree with what he said right there, but I bet you anything John Gruden will never take another knee in that situation again.

Speaker 4 But he lost doing it the other way.

Speaker 5 So that's how John Gruden operates. It's like he learns his most recent lesson.
So he's using the lesson that he learned from the Chiefs against the Dolphins.

Speaker 5 Next time this happens to him, he's going to be using the lesson that he learned against the Dolphins against the next person. Probably right.
He's going to score a touchdown.

Speaker 5 He's going to be sick to himself driving laps around the Legion Stadium at night like he just beat the Chiefs, but he's just going to be like pounding the steering wheel, listening to radar love and being like, God damn it, I didn't play football.

Speaker 5 I wasn't true to myself. I should have scored a touchdown instead of kicking a field goal.

Speaker 4 I agree with you there, and I think that John Gruden, like that decision, I have no problem with. Let's talk about everything else, John Gruden.
Like, his offense was 0 for 10 on third down.

Speaker 4 They were one for four touchdowns in the red zone. He has now had two teams, back-to-back years, start six and four, lose four out of five.
Yeah. Two times.

Speaker 4 Back-to-back years.

Speaker 5 I think we warned you about this like a month and a half ago, right before this started.

Speaker 5 Like, John Gruden, I feel like he is a coach where at the start of the year, right after training camp, first of all, you're happy that he hasn't killed you during training.

Speaker 4 He's trying to knock if you're with me.

Speaker 5 He's doing the knock on wood if you're with me. He's doing that weird dance in the locker room where he does like the macarena.

Speaker 5 And then after about a couple months, you're like, God damn, is this guy actually, is he serious? This is what he's like all the time?

Speaker 4 Right. Like all the time, all the time.

Speaker 5 And then you start to get like a little worn down. Plus, you've got Derek Carr, who is like a Theon Grayjoy the way that I feel, I feel bad for Derek Carr.

Speaker 5 I feel like every time something good happens to him, he gets his guts ripped out or his nuts chopped off the very next week, and something bad happens to him.

Speaker 4 I just, he's kind of in my

Speaker 4 Ryan Tannehill, your thing with Ryan Tannehill, where it's like Derek Carr could play great, and I'll still be like, but it's Derek Carr. Yeah.
It's Derek Carr. And eventually

Speaker 4 it won't work out. But

Speaker 4 so the John Gruden, so like I said, four out of five,

Speaker 4 two years in a row down the stretch. He's 63 and 80 since his Super Bowl win.
I don't understand. Like, why doesn't he get...

Speaker 4 It's just because everyone likes him? It's crazy that he doesn't get any criticism for

Speaker 4 this team. Everyone was talking about the Raiders being like, oh, watch out for the Raiders.
Watch out for the Raiders. They got a lot of pieces.

Speaker 4 Their defense isn't great, but they got a lot of pieces on offense.

Speaker 4 John Gruden's job is the offense.

Speaker 5 The best thing that happened in John Gruden was getting replaced by Jason Witten when he left the booth because then everybody was like, man, I really miss John Gruden.

Speaker 5 He knew what he was talking about when it came to football. And also every time he throws a Spider 2Y banana out there, it's just fun to say.
And it reminds us of Gruden.

Speaker 5 So we like that and we like him as a personality. Would I want him coaching my football team for $10 million a year? Probably not.
Probably not. Probably not.

Speaker 5 But going back to Fitzpatrick for a second, I actually think that Ryan Fitzpatrick should be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah.
I think he should be a Hall of Famer. He's that memorable.

Speaker 5 Not just because the bust would be legendary with the beard in it,

Speaker 5 but because he's provided so many great memories memories and so many weird things have happened in and around Ryan Fitzpatrick's body.

Speaker 5 So he could be like, okay, if he doesn't have the stats to get you there, we put in contributors to the game every year.

Speaker 5 If he's not a player, he should be a contributor to the game and get into the NFL. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 I don't know what they do with Tua. It's very odd that you've benched your starting quarterback who you drafted fifth overall twice now in like a month and a half.

Speaker 4 And Brian Flores is still like, yeah, Tua's our starter until we need to win the game and then Ryan Fitzpatrick is coming into play. And it, like,

Speaker 4 I was seeing some Dolphins fans make excuses for Tua, and obviously he's young.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to give up on him because of just this year, but it's crazy how much better the offense looks when he is, when Fitzpatrick's in versus Tua. I think Kurt Warren, was it Kurt Warner?

Speaker 4 Kurt Warner was doing the game. He actually had the perfect explanation for it that

Speaker 4 Tua is waiting for guys to get Alabama open, not NFL open. Whereas Ryan Fitzpatrick, well, he'll throw to guys who are fully covered.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's used to throwing to guys who are Harvard open, which is double-teamed. Right.

Speaker 4 So he, like, Tua is waiting for these guys to be streaking down the field wide open. It just doesn't happen in the NFL that way.
And I don't know. I mean, he's Tua is like

Speaker 4 a better version, a better learned version of Josh Rosen at this point, where it's like his stats. If you just look at his stats, you're like, oh my God, he's 75%.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, oh, wait, but it was for for 70 yards and he threw the ball 20 times.

Speaker 5 I actually have no problem with it with what Flores is doing with the quarterbacks. I think it's

Speaker 5 interesting and it's definitely something that isn't repeated by any other coach.

Speaker 5 But I guess he's got a sense in the locker room where he's just going to go with a hot hand no matter what's happening. Get to the play.

Speaker 5 And it seems like neither Fitzpatrick nor Tua really have a problem with it. So it's like, why is this any different than any other position?

Speaker 5 Probably because the quarterback is generally the leader of your offense. Right.
And it's good to have a rhythm going.

Speaker 5 But if neither guy, like, the best thing that you can have for Ryan Fitzpatrick is

Speaker 5 a quick pull for him and put in another guy when Fitzpatrick starts to do bad Fitzpatrick stuff. Right.
Because when he's doing Fitzmagic stuff, it's the best thing ever.

Speaker 5 It's like every drug combined into one. And you're like, this guy can win.

Speaker 5 This is a dynasty of one that I can have as my quarterback.

Speaker 5 But when he starts throwing the really weird interceptions and fumbling the ball and it looks like the wheels are coming off, like having a guy that's able to come in there and not be awful is actually great.

Speaker 5 I think Fitzpatrick would probably admit, like, yeah, sometimes I do some strange shit. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 Sometimes I get fucked up in the head.

Speaker 5 Listen, when you strap yourself into the Fitzpatrick roller coaster, sometimes you're going to have to pull the lever and take a break. You can't ride that roller coaster

Speaker 5 for a season at a time. It's true.

Speaker 4 All right, I just looked it up. Tua was 17 for 22 on Saturday night.
How many yards?

Speaker 4 90. 94.
Yeah. That's insane.
Yep.

Speaker 4 4.3 yards. And he had a touchdown, which was really just a dump off to Miles Gaskin, who made a nice play.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I mean, they should honestly have Fitzy and Tua in there at the same time.
Yeah. A double quarterback, like one right-handed, one left-handed.

Speaker 4 And Trent Tilfer still thinks he's special. Who? Trent Tilfer.

Speaker 5 Oh, Trent Tilfer thinks that Trent Tilfer is.

Speaker 4 Well, no, Trent Tilford trains Tua. So I actually, I can, I'm okay with him having his guys back.
But some of the things he's been saying about Tua is like, what?

Speaker 5 I mean, Tua looks okay,

Speaker 4 but

Speaker 5 he looks okay.

Speaker 5 I'm firmly in the Tua will be okay.

Speaker 4 No, again, I'm not giving up on him. I don't think he looks okay, though, right now.
Like, I don't think

Speaker 4 17 for 22 for 94 yards in today's NFL is crazy.

Speaker 5 It's not, no, it's actually, like, pretty tough.

Speaker 4 Ryan Fitzpatrick was 9 for 13 for 182 yards. He threw it half the amount of times for double the yards.

Speaker 5 I also think that Fitz plays so much better when he's uncomfortable that, like, if teams just sat back, and again, I have no stats whatsoever to back any of this up.

Speaker 5 So, I mean, it's probably true because I'm saying it. But, like, when he's playing against a team that's like blitzing the shit out of him, he's taking hits.
He's getting his head ripped off sideways.

Speaker 5 Like, that last pass that he threw, I actually expected Ryan Fitzpatrick to complete that pass because his head was looking backwards when he threw it.

Speaker 5 It's when he's like, when he's got too much time and he starts to get bored, and like a dog that you leave alone, and it just goes nuts and eats the door frames off your apartment because you're not at home.

Speaker 5 Like, that's when Fitzpatrick gets into trouble and he tries to like create a little bit of chaos for himself. But when it's tough on him, then he's really good.
So I don't know.

Speaker 5 Maybe next game against the Bills, right? Maybe Fitzpatrick goes out there. He's going to have a good revenge quarter against the Bills.

Speaker 4 Well, he's not going to play as of right now.

Speaker 5 Or two is still starting. Two is a starter.

Speaker 4 Okay. That's my point.
Two is a starter. It's a very bizarre situation.
We're not going to get this over in this Packers, Titans game. It's going to be a travesty.

Speaker 4 Yeah. The Titans stink.
We talked about that. That's time travel for you.
All right. Falcons, Chiefs.

Speaker 4 Do you know that the Chiefs have 10 comeback wins this season? I didn't know. Comeback win being just that they were down at any time.

Speaker 5 They were losing at some point.

Speaker 4 But that does feel weird, right?

Speaker 5 It does, but I mean, that's what they did in the playoffs last year. Thanks for coming out, Chiefs.

Speaker 4 Yeah, thanks for coming out, Chiefs. It's just crazy because they're that good, but they've been down in pretty much every single game.

Speaker 4 This game was weird because they just looked bad against the Falcons, and Patrick Mahomes did not look sharp. And then, yet, still, they can flip the switch to get the ball down late.

Speaker 4 Patrick Mahomes threw a pick that wasn't caught, which I know that sounds weird, but that's exactly what the play was. Like, it was a bad pass.
It was an interception. He just couldn't catch it.

Speaker 4 And then the Chiefs win. And I want to give credit to Raheem Morris because I looked it up.
Dan Quinn, this is the same team.

Speaker 4 Dan Quinn, when he was the coach of the Falcons, five games, 32.2 points per game, they were giving up. Raheem Morris has been coaching the Falcons for now 10 games, 20.9 points.
So 12 points better.

Speaker 4 That's crazy. Yeah, it's pretty good.
Same fucking guy.

Speaker 4 And they held the Chiefs to under 20 points.

Speaker 5 And Dan Quinn is like an offensive guru. Oh, no, wait.
He's actually like a defensive mastermind.

Speaker 5 I've got to take about the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs are getting too cute with it.
I think as a football player.

Speaker 4 Oh, well, that fourth down cut was the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Speaker 5 I think they're too cute. They're playing too cute football out there.
That fake. And are they too cute to win in the playoffs? Like, I don't know.

Speaker 5 They used to be exactly the right amount of cute, but now it's like they've gone Ann Hathaway and all I need is an Emma Stone. Yep.
And it's just overboard. I agree.

Speaker 4 There's too much cuteness. There is a little bit of cuteness.

Speaker 5 Andy Reid in his thong mask and Daisy Dude shorts running around.

Speaker 4 Touchdown.

Speaker 4 The too cute moment happened right when

Speaker 4 they did the fourth and one fake where Patrick Mahomes was running down the field as a wide receiver in a game that didn't really matter.

Speaker 4 I mean, obviously they got the one seed, but they could have won one of their last two. That was a too cute moment.
That was like, like, well, what are you guys doing?

Speaker 4 Why are you even risking Patrick Mahomes getting hurt here?

Speaker 4 Fourth and one? Why not just run the football? Like, what is going on? So I agree with you. Too cute.
And also, you're playing the Falcons. Why are you doing your best trick plays against the Falcons?

Speaker 5 Well, the Falcons were getting exactly the right amount of cute. They were nailing the cuteness in the first half.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So the Falcons,

Speaker 5 I think we both had this sense in this game that this was going to be a close one. This might be like a letdown game for the Chiefs because it's the Falcons.
You go in against the Falcons.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and it's upwalk. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 You expect to win this game by infinity points if you're the Chiefs. But

Speaker 5 the Falcons, I guess they're showing they might be frisky. Might be frisky down the stretch.

Speaker 5 Raheem Morris could get the head coaching gig.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 5 You know how Arthur Blank works. He's like, this guy is in-house.
No, I know.

Speaker 4 He deserves an interview because he's gotten the Falcons to a point where no one thought they would be, and that's just competent football.

Speaker 5 Arthur Blank is a big, this guy, knows everybody's name in the facility. They all seem to like him.
True. Let's keep him around and see what happens.

Speaker 4 Seems like a likable guy.

Speaker 4 Travis Kelsey broke the record for most yards in a season for a tight end. Okay.
14.

Speaker 5 Yeah. What about Matt Ryan?

Speaker 4 It was George Kittle's record from two years ago.

Speaker 5 Right, and it should be his from this year.

Speaker 4 Correct, but he got hurt. He got hurt.
Asterisk. Yeah, big asterisk.

Speaker 5 Matt Ryan is definitely the most tackle player.

Speaker 5 The most there was one play today where he did like one and a half spin moves, and it looked like a drunk man trying to like barrel roll out of an automobile.

Speaker 4 Matt Ryan's entire like

Speaker 4 offense at this point is snap the ball, look to try to throw it to Calvin Ridley, then look to see who can sack him the least hard. Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's the opposite of Ryan Fitzpatrick, who's like, try to throw it to anybody and then run at the biggest guy that you see.

Speaker 4 Just who can, who is, who is going to not hurt me when they inevitably sack me, which happens like six times a game.

Speaker 5 Now, all the too cute stuff that we've said about the Chiefs, I still think that

Speaker 5 they're going to sleepwalk to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 Well, I guess

Speaker 4 that's actually the only thing you could say about the Chiefs at this point is

Speaker 4 I actually, and the Too Cute is kind of tongue-in-cheek, but I actually agree with you. But the Chiefs, the only way they will lose is if they sleepwalk for just a little bit too long.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Like, if they get caught just a little bit, because they do kind of play this wire act where it's like, oh, well, they'll just flip the switch and Patrick Mahomes will bail him out.

Speaker 4 And he does bail him out because he is the best quarterback by a long shot. But

Speaker 4 you could see that happening. Like, if it, like, oh, shit, it's the second half.
And I guess this is kind of stupid to even say it.

Speaker 4 The way they won the Super Bowl, they basically did this in every single game where they were behind.

Speaker 4 But eventually you can get caught. It's like, oh, fuck.
Maybe we're, oh, that interception did get caught. Now what do we do?

Speaker 5 We were saying earlier how it was a good thing that the Chiefs lost earlier in the year to the Raiders because then they got a little wake-up call.

Speaker 5 They didn't have to worry about all the talk of 16-0 coming down the stretch. I think the Chiefs need to lose again.
I think they need another wake-up call.

Speaker 5 They hit the snooze button on the season, which took them into week 17. I think they need to lose against the Chargers next week.
And I think the Chargers could beat them.

Speaker 4 I think they probably won't start anyone. Yeah, well.

Speaker 5 But that, I don't know. Does that count? Yeah, that counts.
Is that still like a wake-up call?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that counts. That counts.
Who's their backup quarterback? Let's find out. Chiefs' backup quarterback.

Speaker 4 I don't think that you can Google it. Oh, no, Chad Henney.
Chad Henney. Okay.
Let's go. Chad Henney.
All right.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, I think they'll probably lose to the Chargers because they won't try. And they'll sit everyone.
All right. Let's go to the next one.
Oh.

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Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 next up, Browns Jets.

Speaker 4 Oh, boy. So

Speaker 4 the Browns had no wide receivers. They had a...

Speaker 4 walkthrough in the parking garage attached to their hotel and it's like it was like 30 degrees this morning in New York City.

Speaker 4 They're in New Jersey, but 8.15 a.m., they had a walkthrough. Basically, Baker Mayfield doing a break the ice with all the wide receivers that he had to throw to.

Speaker 4 There was a moment in time, and we can laugh about it now because

Speaker 4 let's just set the stage here. The Browns control their own destiny.
If the Browns win week 17, the Browns are in the playoffs. Doomsday scenario is not there in that case.

Speaker 4 The Browns hold it all in their hands. There was a situation where the Browns could potentially go 11-5 and somehow miss it and be like, what the fuck happened? No, the Browns can win and they're in.

Speaker 4 There was a moment, though, where it was the most Browns thing ever to be losing to the Jets, to have no wide receivers, to have the Colts up big on the Steelers, and to have that 11-5 doomsday scenario be a very real possibility.

Speaker 4 Thank God the Colts ended up losing for the Browns' sake because the Browns can now still win and get in. But man, was that

Speaker 4 almost the most Browns thing ever. There was like a two-hour window on Sunday afternoon where if you were a Browns fan, you were freaking the fuck out.

Speaker 5 Like you're just checking things off the list of everything that you've kept in like your worst case scenario binder for the last two weeks, and it's all happened in slow-mo, and it's all continuing to happen.

Speaker 5 You're like, this is, we're just going to be fucked. We're going to look back on that Raiders game that we played when it was like 11 degrees outside in the grapple.

Speaker 5 and we're going to be like, damn, we should have won that game. Are you going to look back at another, like the shit game with Lamar Jackson where he had diarrhea?

Speaker 5 You're going to look back on that and be like, if we had just got this one more,

Speaker 5 then we would be able to control our own destiny. But you're right.
The good news is, like,

Speaker 5 I think you win and you're in. Well, you're in and you're in.

Speaker 4 No, it's official. They win and they're in.

Speaker 5 You do win and you're in, but then most scenarios have you playing the Steelers the very next week. That's okay.
The first round of playoffs.

Speaker 4 I don't think the Steelers are going to play. I don't think the Steelers are going to

Speaker 4 try.

Speaker 4 Oh, you don't think so against the browns i think they've had so many injuries this year why would they risk because big ben is trying to get that title back knowing that he can be the most winning quarterback i know at first energy stadium i don't think mike tolerance i don't think he's going to let him i don't think mike tombland is going to let big ben do that why would you risk any injuries in week 17 when you've kind of limped in like for the steelers if you're from the steelers perspective we could actually just do this this these games in tandem uh the only other note i had from the browns jets game is that you probably should extend adam gase yes absolutely.

Speaker 5 When he's on the sideline,

Speaker 5 it's very funny to watch Adam Gase on the sideline because much like Jason Garrett never really coached on the sideline. He was always clapping.
Adam Gase is always reading a book.

Speaker 5 He's like an old man at a baseball game keeping score. I don't know what he's writing.

Speaker 4 He's the dude from the professor from the FSU game.

Speaker 4 Sitting up in the stands reading a book in a blowout.

Speaker 5 I was going to say he's like Johnny Moxon reading Slaughterhouse 5 inside of his playbook from Varsity Blues. But whatever he's doing,

Speaker 4 by the way. He definitely owns what's it called, Infinite Jest.

Speaker 4 He definitely owns Infinite Jest, and it's sitting in a prominent place in his house. And he likes when people are like, oh, Infinite Jest.
Like, yeah, you know, I picked it up.

Speaker 4 I haven't had time recently. And I'm not saying this because I also have Infinite Jest and I also have never read it.
But yes, that's what dumb people do is they buy Infinite Jest.

Speaker 5 And they display it in their homes.

Speaker 4 It's actually a genius thing.

Speaker 4 We should make a book that everyone's like, damn,

Speaker 4 this is a book. Like, you want to talk about a book? This is a fucking book.
Like,

Speaker 4 Ulysses 1.

Speaker 5 I would say that Catch 22 is on that list.

Speaker 4 That one's short, though. You can read it.

Speaker 5 No, no, Catch 22 is long.

Speaker 4 Oh, I was thinking of

Speaker 4 what's the fucking Holden Caulfield. What's that?

Speaker 4 Catching the Rye is on that. That one's short.

Speaker 5 It's basically every book that you said you read in high school.

Speaker 4 It's got to be over like 500 pages because no one's reading a book over 500 pages, let's be honest. So you buy it just to have it so people can be like, whoa.

Speaker 4 And the best part about having Infinite Chess is no one's actually ever read the book.

Speaker 4 So when they come over and they see it, they know, like, they can't be like, oh, yeah, what's your favorite character from Infinite Jess? Because they also haven't read it.

Speaker 4 It's more just a mutual admiration of, like, we both consider ourselves smart people because we both possess Infinite Jess.

Speaker 5 He's got the unabridged works of William Shakespeare back there. He's got every Jane Austen novel.

Speaker 4 It's the greatest fraud book of all time. It really is.

Speaker 4 You know, that was a genius. That was a genius move to write a book that no one actually was going to read, but everyone respected as the smart guy book.

Speaker 5 But whatever he's reading on the sideline, it's fascinating to watch him during a game, just like staring down into his own hands all game. And it's worked.
Listen, the Jets are hot, man.

Speaker 5 The Jets are the hottest team in football going right now. And then, can you imagine, can you just imagine for one second the type of blitzes that Dr.

Speaker 5 Heat would have drawn up against a team with no wide receivers? Yes. I mean, these are like his two children

Speaker 5 going head to head against each other.

Speaker 4 He probably sat at home, like,

Speaker 4 doing it in his mind. Like, oh, we would have killed Biggie.

Speaker 5 We would have actually killed him. You know, all his weaknesses.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but so the Browns, like, that's a toss-out game. You got everything in front of you.
That game sucked, but you also got fucked by COVID.

Speaker 4 It is crazy, like, the weird, like, the Broncos having to play with the

Speaker 4 guy off the street, the Lions having to coach with no coach or play with no coaches, rescheduling some games, but not others, whatever.

Speaker 4 You got screwed, but it doesn't matter because you can win and get in.

Speaker 4 But let's talk about Colts Steelers because Colts Steelers was the these two games were basically like you know, cousins or sisters or brothers.

Speaker 4 Like, they were paired together in all playoff implications because Colts Steelers, Colts were kicking the shit out of the Steelers.

Speaker 4 We even said out loud, we're like, damn, the Steelers are really, really bad. Like, they, we've never seen a team go 11-0 to 11-5 and look this bad.
Then, second half happened, their defense woke up.

Speaker 4 They decided to start bombing down the field with Big Ben. He woke up.
And the Steelers, all of a sudden, like they still can't run the ball at all.

Speaker 4 They actually, there was a moment, I think, at the end when all they needed was one yard at the midfield, and they punted it because they're like, nope, we can't get this yard. Listen, no chance.

Speaker 5 You know what? Tomlin's going to watch that film and be like, if you don't get, if you can't get one yard, you don't deserve to win.

Speaker 5 And he's just going to tell the guys, like, in my book, you guys lost last week. That's how I can see the Steelers coming out next week and actually playing hard,

Speaker 5 just running the ball the entire time, just being like, but it won't work. No, it's not going to work.
No matter what.

Speaker 4 But they're going to be like, we're going to run the ball. They had four yards in the first half.

Speaker 5 He's going to get himself into as many fourth and one situations as possible next week just to prove to himself, like, we can get one yard eventually. And they probably won't be able to do it.

Speaker 5 Like, the Steelers, I tweeted out that are they the worst 11-3 team in any sport in history? And I think they still might be. But the second half, the Steelers, they came back.

Speaker 4 I feel like the Mariners are close to the bottom of the break.

Speaker 5 Somebody tweeted, I mean, mean the mariners did start 11 and 3

Speaker 5 and then ended up with 68 wins yeah the season yeah so i think that team is probably the worst 11-3 team in the history of sports and the steelers might be second because like i don't i don't see the steelers being able to win in the playoffs maybe if they play the browns at home i maybe so

Speaker 4 i don't know they yeah they are 1-0 since juju smith schwinster stopped dancing they are 1-0 yeah unbelievable that we live in a time where like there was a press release being like i have decided

Speaker 4 for all my teammates and my team, I will stop dancing on TikTok on logos before games.

Speaker 5 Well, our problem wasn't with the fact that he was dancing, it was with the problem that his dance sucked.

Speaker 4 Well, and he was doing a logo.

Speaker 5 It was a soft dance.

Speaker 5 It was a soft dance.

Speaker 5 Maybe if it was like a kick-ass team dance and got his team involved and did a mosh pit, then maybe that'd be sick. Like, get the boys amped up and ready to go, playing Renegade.

Speaker 4 For instance, Colin Coward has sewered careers for way less than that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but he was bouncing around like a rabbit on the midfield logo. In that case, like, yeah, I think you should probably switch to a harder dance.

Speaker 4 So, I back to the Steelers, like, chances. I,

Speaker 4 they do feel very broken, but that second half, you're watching it. You're like, oh, yeah, this is the Steelers.
Their pass rush is on fire. Their defense is playing lights out.

Speaker 4 Big Ben, they're actually throwing it downfield instead of not being able to run. The combo of not being able to run and throwing only short passes really makes you a limited offense.

Speaker 4 So they were bombing it. Like he kind of had a little pep in his step.
I don't know. I don't know what to make of the Steelers.
I think they still could be frisky. I don't trust them.

Speaker 5 If Big Ben stops throwing passes that will get his wide receivers spinal injuries, then yes,

Speaker 5 they could do something. But he's like, I don't know what it is about his passes this year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's been throwing hospital passes.

Speaker 5 Like little floaters. Yeah, he's been leading his guys into danger.

Speaker 4 I guess with their defense, if their defense fires it up,

Speaker 4 I could see a moment where we wake up and it's like Steelers-Chiefs in the AFC Championship game. The Steelers are like 10-point underdogs.

Speaker 4 But I could, if you have a defense that can play that well, I'll give you a shot against anyone.

Speaker 5 And the jerseys, the uniforms.

Speaker 4 Right, and the jerseys, the uniforms,

Speaker 4 and Big Ben being like, oh, he's going to fucking one last ride with Big Ben.

Speaker 5 I'm probably going to bet on the Steelers in the playoffs. They're probably going to break my heart

Speaker 5 and lose dramatically. But

Speaker 5 there is something about them that you wouldn't necessarily be surprised if they won one or two games in the playoffs. But I mean, unless the Chiefs are still sleepwalking in a month.

Speaker 4 Did you see the Tomlin quote?

Speaker 5 The grapes one?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's my fine line between drinking wine and squashing grapes.

Speaker 5 He's my baby Braun of the Week. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Ah,

Speaker 4 that's a great quote from. Is it a fine line?

Speaker 5 I feel like it takes months to make wine after you've killed.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it is. It definitely takes a lot of time.

Speaker 4 The Colts. Wow.

Speaker 4 I was getting harassed online in the first half by Colts fans. On the internet? Demanding that I respect the Colts as a true Super Bowl contender.
They were like, look at these Colts.

Speaker 4 We can do it all.

Speaker 4 Guess what? The Colts are, as of right now, out of the playoffs. If the Colts don't get some help in week 17, they will be out of the playoffs.
They need

Speaker 4 the Ravens, the Dolphins, or the Browns to lose for them to get into the playoffs.

Speaker 5 Put the banner up. Up 21-7 at halftime against the Steelers in week 16.

Speaker 4 I mean, you can't, like,

Speaker 4 you got to win the game with offense.

Speaker 4 They had no offense in the second half. And I love Phil Rivers, but this is when you have a quarterback that has negative mobility now, like if the pass rush starts going, it's, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Like

Speaker 4 it used to always be

Speaker 4 after the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl is like, well, that's the key. You just got to get, you got to rush with four and you got to get home and then you can beat everyone.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, that's true, but now in today's NFL, like there are a lot of quarterbacks that can beat you even if you do get home because they have legs and they can move.

Speaker 5 Oh, Phillip Rivers definitely has like the shortest clock in the pocket. He is his pocket clock is like two seconds, and if he doesn't get rid of it, he panics.

Speaker 5 And he'll either take a sack or he'll just like immediately throw it out of bounds.

Speaker 4 Calling him statuesque is actually like an insult to statues. Statues have more mobility than Phillip Rivers at this point.
Again, we love Phil Rivers. We've always been a Phil Rivers podcast.

Speaker 4 I want him to get back in the playoffs, and

Speaker 4 I'm conflicted because I think if we had to rank it, I think we'd both agree. Like, Browns getting in the playoffs number one.
We want the Browns to get in the playoffs. Sorry, everyone else.

Speaker 4 But if I had to go number two, I think maybe Phil Rivers getting in the playoffs. I kind of want Phil Rivers in the playoffs.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'd go, I'd lean Titans.

Speaker 4 Okay. Let's get the boy in.
I think they're. Are they in? Are they 100%? I think they're in.
I think it's between the Dolphins, the Ravens, the Browns, and the Colts.

Speaker 4 I want the Browns to go in number one. I think I want the Colts to go number two because I do want the Colts to I want Phil Rivers to be in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 I want to see Phil Rivers in a playoff situation. I love Jonathan Taylor.

Speaker 4 I don't have any ill will against the Colts. What I've said about them all year, I think has been very fair.

Speaker 4 When they're playing with a lead, when they're like everything's humming and they can protect Phil Rivers, they look like a really good team, but it can kind of be like a house of cards pretty quickly.

Speaker 5 Titans are 94% in. So, yeah, they're pretty much in.

Speaker 4 I think they're pretty much in. So,

Speaker 4 yeah, Phil Rivers, that

Speaker 4 I don't know what, like, that was basically doomsday for the Colts. That you have that type of lead, you're rocking and rolling.
You win, and you're basically now you control your own destiny.

Speaker 4 To what the fuck just happened? We lost that game. How did that happen? It did happen that quickly, too.
It felt like we just looked up and boom, the Steelers were winning the game.

Speaker 5 Do you think there was a halftime speech that Mike Tomlin gave, or do you think it was like a players-only meeting at halftime?

Speaker 4 I think Big Ben just walked in and was like, let's just fucking

Speaker 4 go.

Speaker 5 I think he might have threatened to retire.

Speaker 5 Big Ben might have been like, hey, listen, if we don't make the playoffs this year, I could honestly see Big Ben walking away from the NFL if they lost their last five games.

Speaker 5 If the Steelers went 11-0 and then ended up 11-5, limped into the playoffs, lost, I could see Big Ben retiring.

Speaker 5 He would retire for what he would say would be for good. And then he'd probably come back in like early August and be like, I'm ready to strap it on one more time.

Speaker 4 Do you know what it was?

Speaker 4 It's like a parent taking away a cell phone from their kid, from their teenager, and being like, Oh, I'm not going to give it back. He was doing that with the walking boot at halftime.

Speaker 4 He's like, I'm going to put it on. I'm going to put it on.
And everyone's like, No, Ben, don't, please. We really want to win this game.

Speaker 4 He's like, If you guys don't start catching my fucking floaters, I'm putting this boot on and I'm going home.

Speaker 5 I mean, that would work on me. Yes, I'd be like, Ben,

Speaker 5 we need, I would like to see Phillip Rivers and Big Ben both for at least one more NFL season.

Speaker 4 Give me that in the playoffs somehow, some way. All right.
Bears, Jaguars. Bears kicked the shit out of the Jaguars.
It felt good. Matt Nagy is officially coming back.

Speaker 4 I'm conflicted, but I do not care.

Speaker 4 The Bears scored 30 points, 30-plus points in four straight games, first time since 1965, to just

Speaker 4 make myself feel like shit. The Packers have done that twice this year.
Yeah. Four game stretches with 30-plus points.

Speaker 5 The Bears' offense is good. Like, it's time to.

Speaker 4 Okay, we've played some bad defenses. I'm realistic.

Speaker 5 It's time to face the music, and that's the fact that not only is Matt Nagy coming back, but Mitch Trubisky is going to be there next year.

Speaker 4 I don't know about that. I still don't know about that.

Speaker 4 I think Matt Nagy hates Mitch Trubisky, and I think that that's more self-loathing, where he just can't, like, vocalize that he hates himself. Matt Nagy, I'm talking about.

Speaker 5 No, you said it yourself that Matt Nagy is like the most emotional coach in the NFL.

Speaker 4 He's too emotional.

Speaker 5 I bet you Matt Nagy really feels bad for what he's done to Mitch, and he looks at Mitch's failure as being like a direct reflection of him as a coach.

Speaker 5 And the only way that he can feel good about himself and finally for him to be you again is if you were to take Mitch and turn him into like an above-average quarterback, which he's been the last couple weeks.

Speaker 4 Listen,

Speaker 4 I'm taking a realistic, pragmatic approach to

Speaker 4 this week 17 and to everything that the Bears have in front of them. I don't think Matt Nagy is a great coach.

Speaker 4 I truly don't.

Speaker 4 I mean, just the fact, I think I said this last week, but just the fact that Nick Foles started as many games as he did behind this offensive line should tell you that Matt Nagy doesn't know how to assess the quarterback situation.

Speaker 4 Mitch Trubisky is a far better quarterback in these circumstances than Nick Foles. That's just a fact.
I'm happy for Mitch Trubisky.

Speaker 4 We still had an all-time Mitch Trubisky interception where I even said it out loud. Because it was just the two of us all day watching games.

Speaker 4 And when he turned and scrambled, this was like five seconds before he threw a touch, the interception. I was like, don't throw this, Mitch.
Another five seconds went by. More guys got more covered.

Speaker 4 He found the spot on the field where there were the most amount of players and then threw it there.

Speaker 5 I've never seen that many players in one quarter of the end zone in my entire term. He was playing 500.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there were probably like seven or eight players within maybe like five square yards of each other, and it was 500. He was throwing up like a jackpot.
Okay. And it was a bad.

Speaker 5 I don't even know what the concept of that play was because it looked like the entire design was to flow to that corner of of the end zone and then have Mitch do exactly what Mitch did.

Speaker 4 It was baffling. So

Speaker 4 I'm not thrilled that Matt Nagy's coming back. It is what it is.
There's nothing that you can do about it. I know the Bears are a flawed football team.
They're a flawed organization.

Speaker 4 They're not a great organization. But

Speaker 4 if you told me week one that the Bears would be playing in a meaningful football game week 17 to get into the playoffs and be in the playoffs, I'd take it. And that's what being a fan is.

Speaker 4 I I don't care about all the noise around it.

Speaker 4 I don't care about the flaws and the dysfunction and the fact that I think that they're broken going forward and they're going to have a hard time like sustaining any type of success because they don't have a quarterback.

Speaker 4 They don't have a coach I trust. All that garbage.
Throw it out. They can get in the playoffs.
They can get in the playoffs if they win in week 17 or maybe if they lose. If the Cardinals lose too.

Speaker 4 But getting in the playoffs, like I know I've seen this, like, oh, well, why would you want to get in the playoffs and get the shit kicked out of you so that you get a better, you know, a worse draft pick?

Speaker 4 What are you talking about? Being in the playoffs is all, like, that's what you root for for a fit. You start the season being like, let's get into the playoffs.
Get a fucking seat at the table.

Speaker 4 Right. Chip in a chair.
Right.

Speaker 5 Unless you're like the Chiefs or the Saints or the Packers and it's like, well, what purpose is there for getting into playoffs? Because it kicks ass and it makes you feel like a winner.

Speaker 4 It makes you feel

Speaker 5 personally better about yourself.

Speaker 4 Crazy shit can happen.

Speaker 5 You know what sucks worse than anything is having a team that you invest an entire year or more into and then having them not get into the playoffs. And then you're like, well, that was a wasted year.

Speaker 5 If you do get into the playoffs, you feel great. You feel great for at least a week.

Speaker 5 And then depending on how bad you get your ass kicked in the first round, then you might start to be like, once you sober up. So right now, like,

Speaker 5 if we're comparing this to Night Out on the Town, you're on beer number like

Speaker 4 eight or nine.

Speaker 5 I'm not talking soup. I'm talking Brewski's.
And you're on beer eight or nine, and you're fucking, you're having the time of your life. You're dancing dancing like shout just came on.

Speaker 5 You took your shoes off, you're getting soulful with it out there.

Speaker 5 And then once you lose in the playoffs, that's when you take, like, you have the Long Island Iced Tea towards the end of the night, and then you go throw up, and you're like, I got to call a cab.

Speaker 5 And then the next day, you're like, fall asleep in the cab. Yeah, you fall asleep on the way home.
The Uber driver, he goes the long way, and

Speaker 5 then you lose your phone. And then, like, you found out that you got broken up with overnight.
You wake up the next day, and you're like, shit, you know what?

Speaker 5 Probably shouldn't have gone for that extra round.

Speaker 5 But guess what? It was a fun night.

Speaker 4 It It was when it was going. It was a kickoff.

Speaker 4 I agree. Yeah, you might even roll over and you're like, oh, I don't know who that is.

Speaker 5 And then maybe you're surprised. Oh, it's Cody Parker.

Speaker 4 I did. Your dreams are smashed.
Again,

Speaker 4 but then, yeah,

Speaker 5 that's why you root for a team, is to make the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Right. You root for the team to make the playoffs.
And

Speaker 4 there's two camps, and people will say that I'm being a hypocrite, but I'm not. I'll explain it.
So I call out a lot of teams for I don't trust this team. I don't think they're Super Bowl contender.

Speaker 4 I don't trust the Bucs. The Bucs are better than the Bears, even though the Bears beat them head-to-head, might I add.

Speaker 4 The Bears are not a Super Bowl contender.

Speaker 4 But once you accept that, I'm officially in, well, crazy shit could happen. Yeah.
I'm in crazy shit could happen mode. I'm in, who the fuck knows? Crazy shit could happen.

Speaker 4 The ball bounces your way for four straight games. Who the fuck knows? Crazy shit could happen.
Let's just have fun. Enjoy the ride.

Speaker 4 Is there a more likely than not chance that the Bears get absolutely face fucked in the playoffs? Of course, there is.

Speaker 4 I would almost put my life on it, but I don't care because I'm going to be rooting for crazy shit to happen, and that's the fun of it. Now, week 17,

Speaker 4 I'm very, very nervous because I didn't realize until that fucking dork came on NBC and told me that the Packers actually do, in fact, have to play for the one seed.

Speaker 4 That like ruined my entire mood because now Aaron Rodgers is going to play, and Aaron Rodgers, he personally loves to kill the Bears. He loves to do it.
I know it.

Speaker 4 I can sense it. Everything he says, everything he does.

Speaker 4 I'm very nervous about week 17.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would be too.

Speaker 4 But big case. It's not primetime.

Speaker 5 Listen, you're rooting for crazy stuff to happen.

Speaker 4 Crazier stuff has happened before.

Speaker 5 Like, it would not be, it would not shock me.

Speaker 5 It would surprise me. It would probably make me a little concerned for your well-being.

Speaker 4 Just thank God it is not a prime time game. Yeah.
That's all I was rooting for is for it not to be primetime because then it wouldn't have even been a choice.

Speaker 5 And it gets lost.

Speaker 4 I know this is kind of loser talk, but I've spent all day going through all of the situations. If the Rams beat the Cardinals, it doesn't matter.
The Bears will be in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 And I think those games will happen concurrently, so we don't know.

Speaker 5 I think the Rams need to sign Blake Bortles, get him back up, because right now they're going to go with a guy named Wolford.

Speaker 4 Wait, is Goff officially out?

Speaker 5 Goff is probably out because he dislocated his thumb and it might be broken.

Speaker 4 But Big Cat,

Speaker 5 they can still sign Blake Bortles right now. He's on the practice.
He needs to win to make the playoffs. How amazing would that be if one week you've got George Kittle to come back to the battle?

Speaker 4 How about George Kittle? George Kittle coming in quarterback for the Rams.

Speaker 5 George Kittle comes back. He's like, I love the Bears.
I did this for Big Cat. And then Blake Bortles goes to the Rams.

Speaker 5 He knows that playbook front and back. That's all that guy did when he was in Los Angeles, he studied football.
He lived it. He breathed it.

Speaker 5 And he comes back to the Rams, beats the Cardinals to get you into the playoffs. And then in his post-game, he's like, I love the Bears.

Speaker 4 I like what you're saying. It can happen.
I like what you're saying. Crazier stuff is happening.

Speaker 4 Why not?

Speaker 5 Why not? But yeah, good for you for not getting the primetime slot. That would be a nightmare for whatever team has to do.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we'll get to that.

Speaker 4 All right. Giants, Ravens.
The Giants are somehow still alive. Somehow, some way still alive.

Speaker 4 And we... Like, this game was on.
We had all six games on, but I feel like I didn't watch any of this game because the Ravens were just kicking the shit out of the Giants from literally the beginning.

Speaker 4 The Ravens, ravens you know the ravens have rushed for 100 plus yards in 38 straight games that's insane yeah it makes sense that's insane they're opposite steels from this drag racing it makes sense uh i don't know

Speaker 5 it's better that than the uh than the ambulance we'll get the ambulance centers in a second after these guys but the the giants were

Speaker 5 It's really a game that they like expected to lose anyways.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, they're still alive.

Speaker 5 No harm, no foul for the Giants. The Giants are very much alive in the NFC beast right now.
But I actually think that this is...

Speaker 5 It's good that the Ravens aren't taking up too much of the air right now for the Ravens because having zero expectations going into the playoffs is probably a good place for them to be.

Speaker 5 You've seen how it goes the other way.

Speaker 4 I think the Ravens officially have become the team no one wants to play. Ooh.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think they're the team that no one wants to play.

Speaker 5 They're the team no one's talking about.

Speaker 4 We cast them off, and now I think they are officially the team no one wants to play in the playoffs. I really do.
Which is a

Speaker 5 scary team. It looks like they might be playing

Speaker 5 probably the Titans.

Speaker 4 This is going to make no sense. And Ravens fans, we've had our back and forth, but I believe in the Ravens far more this year than last year.

Speaker 4 I think that last year, one seed, all the hype in the world. MVP.
How can you beat this team? Oh, they lost to the Titans by a billion at home. This year, no one wants to play them.

Speaker 4 They're hot at the right time.

Speaker 5 I think the Ravens could beat the Chiefs. I think it's the Ravens.
Who knows? The Ravens and the Bills

Speaker 5 are the two teams teams that I would have

Speaker 5 that can actually beat the Chiefs. Yeah, it's going to be fun for sure, especially like, depends if the Chiefs get into Chiefs mode from last year and start like, oh, they get woken up every game.

Speaker 5 That's what happens with the Chiefs. And they just go down like by 10 points and end up winning 50 to 10.

Speaker 5 If that doesn't happen again, if they are like a more down-to-earth team, then yeah, the Ravens and the Bills are the two teams that can beat them. But

Speaker 5 I would also be a little bit afraid if I were the Ravens about playing playing the Titans. I just

Speaker 5 feel like there are scars there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, absolutely. I just, they're the team no one wants to play.

Speaker 4 They're the team no one wants to play. All right, Bengals, Texans,

Speaker 4 who cares? Who cares? Brandon Allen, good game.

Speaker 4 The Texans have done a nice thing for the NFL where if you play them, you look awesome and you might be able to get some money. Like, Brandon Allen looked awesome.
Yeah. Texans' defense is that bad.

Speaker 5 J.J. Watt is making sports writers bust a load with his post-game speech that he gave.
What did he say?

Speaker 5 He was talking about how, like, if you're a pro in this league, how can you show up to work and not lift hard and not study hard and not practice hard when you've got guys coming up to you on the street and saying, hey, we're still here for you.

Speaker 5 We still love you. We're still going to root for you on Sunday.
He wasn't wrong about anything that he said, but it made every sports writer just bust a severe

Speaker 5 stickiest of the nuts into their own under into their own trousers. But the only takeaway that I had besides J.J.
Watt's post-game was that the Bengals, the Bengals might be saving Zach Taylor's job.

Speaker 4 Oh, no, I think it's officially done. I think

Speaker 4 the Bengals might be getting themselves into

Speaker 4 dark horse. Like, look how they finished the season.
Oh, they've added a

Speaker 4 top five pick. Joe Burrow's going to be back.

Speaker 4 People might be talking about the Bengals.

Speaker 5 I think if Joe Burrows' injury had happened a month before,

Speaker 5 he's walking without a limp. he's walking without a limp right now.

Speaker 5 He's looking good, but I feel like he's probably, he might not start at the beginning of the season, in which case they wouldn't be the surprise team. They would be the team like they might get hot.

Speaker 5 Just watch for that team.

Speaker 4 Every year, there's a team that finishes strong.

Speaker 5 It's the Jets.

Speaker 5 Just watch out for the Jets next year. Zach Taylor's job, yeah, I think it is safe.

Speaker 5 The fact that he won these last couple games is huge, but just like the Bengals' ownership, they don't like coaching searches. It's expensive.

Speaker 5 You have to to fly guys in and out of town, set them up in hotels. They just got like a practice field two years ago.
Right.

Speaker 4 So they don't want to go through that. They're not.

Speaker 4 They are what we call cheap. Yes.
A cheap organization. All right.

Speaker 4 Before we get to the next one.

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Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 next up, Broncos Chargers.

Speaker 5 Also, who cares? Who cares about this game?

Speaker 4 Jerry Judy, you, I'm going to say something nice about Drew Locke.

Speaker 4 Jerry Judy fucked over Drew Locke.

Speaker 5 Jerry Judy is also an impossible name to say without sounding like you're drunk.

Speaker 4 Jerry Judy.

Speaker 5 Jerry Judy.

Speaker 4 Jerry Judy. He, 15 targets, six catches.
He dropped like a couple easy ones. Can't do that when Drew Locke is having a hard enough time.
Now I'm saying something mean about Drew Locke.

Speaker 4 Having a hard enough time completing passes.

Speaker 4 You can't be dropping him. And Vic Fangio's back.
So I liked hearing that because I do think he's a good coach. Well, he's not a great head coach, but I think he is.

Speaker 5 No, we've established that. Yeah, yeah, no.

Speaker 4 He's a great defensive head coach.

Speaker 5 Incredible defensive coach. Kind of stinks at offense.

Speaker 4 But that's okay.

Speaker 5 Kind of stinks at some of the other stuff.

Speaker 4 But I like teams giving their guys at least three years. I think two years is always a little quick.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Three, you kind of know what you got.

Speaker 5 There's some times where it's the second year and like

Speaker 5 you can you can tell for sure sometimes after that second year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, I mean, that was Mark Tressman.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Mark Tressman.

Speaker 4 You knew. You knew.
You didn't want him back. Totally.

Speaker 5 To give him more time to implement his system.

Speaker 4 But they haven't,

Speaker 4 unless you are at the helm of an absolute clown show, like Mark Tressman was.

Speaker 4 Like Vic Fangio, they've had some injuries. They haven't been a clown show.
They've been competitive in games. They haven't had any internal fighting.
So, yeah, yeah, why not?

Speaker 4 Keep them for another year.

Speaker 5 Yeah, sure. Bring it back.
The Chargers, by the way, have put together a couple wins. The Chargers have looked like sneakily competent.

Speaker 4 Which they almost lost this game. This was a game where you looked up.
I even said that out loud. I was like, what the fuck just happened?

Speaker 4 Because the Chargers were in cruise control, and then all of a sudden you look up and they need a drive to win the game.

Speaker 4 Also, McManus had the double, the new double doink.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he doinked. Back to back.

Speaker 4 He doinked. There was a

Speaker 4 five-yard penalty re-kick doinked again. That's very rare.

Speaker 4 It's almost impossible to do. I said this off the same post, right? Yeah, I tweeted this, and you got tagged a lot of them that I said, I fucking hate all kickers on Saturday, I think.

Speaker 4 There's something about watching non-stop football for like five days straight where it just feels like every kick is missed.

Speaker 5 No, you're the kickers are the worst. You're just

Speaker 4 awful people. Yeah.
We're terrible human beings.

Speaker 5 We think that we've got a very important job and we get paid a lot of money to do it. If you were to make a football team, they would pay you a lot of money.
And yeah, we suck. All of us suck.

Speaker 5 Every kicker except for Justin Tucker sucks. Pretty much.

Speaker 4 And sometimes he sucks. He's Young Ho-ku.
Yeah. He was awesome.

Speaker 4 And then he sucked it. What was this? Young-ho-ku.

Speaker 5 Young-wei-ku.

Speaker 4 Young-wei? Yup. Young-wei? Bubba?

Speaker 4 Young-wei. I thought it was young-ho.
It's young-ho. Whoa.

Speaker 4 I was right.

Speaker 4 I don't know. Am I pronouncing it?

Speaker 5 I know how it's spelled. I get that.
Is it Young Wei? I think it's Young Wei-Koo.

Speaker 4 Oh, well, I'm a phonetic speller.

Speaker 5 You are. You're a big reader.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a bad one.

Speaker 5 On closed captioning, it says Young-ho.

Speaker 4 Is it Young?

Speaker 5 Young-wei. I think.

Speaker 4 Well, this is why Jake can't take any days off.

Speaker 4 God damn it.

Speaker 4 That's how you say it?

Speaker 5 But yeah, the bottom line is every kicker sucks. We all suck.
Occasionally, we'll kind of wake up and have a good moment, but it's just like pauses in our sucking that take you out of that focus.

Speaker 5 So I agree with you. Kickers suck.

Speaker 4 Young Wei.

Speaker 4 Young. Oh, I guess I've been saying it wrong.
My bad. My apologies.
Let's see if Jake Marsh is awake.

Speaker 5 FaceTime him.

Speaker 4 Wow, if he doesn't get this right away, because I mean, I'm an idiot. And I don't pretend.

Speaker 4 I can't fucking say Alvin Kamara's name.

Speaker 5 Is it not Kamara?

Speaker 4 It's Kamara. And I always, I get in my own head.
I'm like, don't say, hey, how do you say the kicker from Atlanta's name? Young Wei. Okay, I say Young-ho, so agree to disagree.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's definitely Young Wei. Yeah, but I say young-ho, so agree to disagree.
Agree to disagree. Okay.
How do you say the running back for the Chiefs?

Speaker 4 Clyde Edwards Elair. Okay, nice.
All right. Thanks, Jake.

Speaker 4 Wow. Why did you...

Speaker 4 Your pronunciation shamed me? No,

Speaker 5 it sounded at first like you said young hoo-ha ku. It sounded like you were trying to pronounce it in Domican Sue's name in Piglet.
That one I can't do either. And yeah, but you were right.

Speaker 5 You're right about the kickers. Listen,

Speaker 5 I'm not going to be the guy who's out here trying to pretend like kickers are cool just because I have kicked something in my life. They suck.
We suck. They hate them.

Speaker 5 On behalf of all kickers, and you know what? We're not going to apologize for sucking.

Speaker 4 That's fine.

Speaker 4 I don't need an apology. I just want to say it.

Speaker 4 I just want to say it. I don't need an apology.
I'd actually prefer not to get an apology.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because guess what?

Speaker 4 I'd have to be nice.

Speaker 5 If kickers apologize, then we wouldn't suck.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, and I'd also have to be like, oh, you apologize. I feel bad.
All right. Next up.
Panthers, Washington football team. Whoops.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know what? We control our own destiny. That's true.
Okay, I got a statistic for you. Yeah.
Five.

Speaker 4 You know what five is?

Speaker 5 Five wins away from a Super Bowl. There you go.
Five wins from a Super Bowl. We win five games.
That's all we got to do. Same with Bears.
Bears have won.

Speaker 5 Well, I know you lost six games in a row. You haven't won five games in a row this season.
To start, what was that? Five and one. Five and one? Correct.
So it could happen.

Speaker 5 We just have five wins. Five wins to go, and we're there.
Today was awful. Today was like Dwayne Haskins.

Speaker 4 He's so bad.

Speaker 5 He might be the worst quarterback in the NFL.

Speaker 4 Well, he's bad and hateable. I'm talking about starters.

Speaker 5 I'm talking about backups. Yeah.
He's bad. He's hateable.

Speaker 4 Hold on. He probably should get his captain C back because him walking out there to support Heineke,

Speaker 4 which was very bizarre. Gray movement.
Is he coming back in the game?

Speaker 4 You know what I think he did?

Speaker 5 I think he was trying to do the thing where he's like, you know what? If you're the real starter, you can run out onto the field and take your spot back.

Speaker 5 And if they believe in you, then Taylor Heineke will agree to go to the bench calmly and let you throw for that like fourth and 18. I think he was trying to sub himself back in.

Speaker 5 And Heineke, a guy that we just pulled off the practice squad last week, was like, no, go sit back down. And he's like, yes, I will.
I will go sit back down.

Speaker 5 He stinks. Dwayne Haskins,

Speaker 5 he is very bad.

Speaker 4 I would rather have Heineke.

Speaker 5 I would rather have

Speaker 5 Josh Johnson. Anyone.
Mark Sanchez. Anyone.
All of these Washington footballers. P.J.
Waters. Yeah, hell yes.

Speaker 4 Give me me P.J. Waters.
Yeah, the

Speaker 4 dude.

Speaker 5 I would rather have Alex Smith on one leg, not allowed to use his second leg. Jack Prescott.
In a rascal scooter motoring around there. Yeah, no, you.
Dwayne Haskins.

Speaker 5 He looked so bad in the first half.

Speaker 4 As someone who, you know, my team is kind of fucking an offensive juggernaut as of late, but as someone who's watched some very bad offensive football, it's not your fault.

Speaker 4 It is the worst thing to watch

Speaker 4 a defense be so goddamn good and the offense just not help whatsoever. Chase Young is so good that I'm shocked when he doesn't get a strip sack.
Yeah, it's not. What happened?

Speaker 4 Why didn't he get a strip sack on this play?

Speaker 5 It felt like a disappointment in the first quarter when he didn't get much pressure and then he starts like making a name for himself in the second quarter. But yeah, it's like, what happened?

Speaker 5 How did they make Chase Young disappear? The defense is fucking dominant.

Speaker 5 I wish that there were a way for Chase Young to play quarterback also and to have all those guys on the line be like offensive linemen at times.

Speaker 4 You know what?

Speaker 5 Put Logan Thomas in a quarterback. Yeah.
He got drafted by the Cardinals to be a quarterback.

Speaker 5 He would not have been worse than Dwayne Haskins was. And the football team's not built to come from behind.
We're not. No.
We don't have an offense.

Speaker 5 And you're meant we're more meant to observe from behind, much like the pictures of Dwayne Haskins that surface.

Speaker 4 You go backwards whenever you need to go forwards. Yeah.
I've noticed that because I've watched too much Washington football team.

Speaker 5 We can throw for like two-yard gains.

Speaker 4 No, but every time you need like that

Speaker 4 play that Dwayne Haskins came out to kind of pump up

Speaker 4 Taylor Heineke, I think it was fourth and goal from like the 20.

Speaker 4 You guys always go backwards in crucial spots.

Speaker 5 We do, but Heineke looked good coming off the bench. So I feel like it's got to be Heineke.
Granted, it was against probably a very soft pre-vent defense at the time. But he looked okay.

Speaker 5 He looked way better than Haskins.

Speaker 4 You know what you need to do is you need to, the Washington football team needs to

Speaker 4 treat week 17, which is Sunday night football, which is scary. So the NFC East is crazy because the

Speaker 4 Giants and the Cowboys play.

Speaker 4 Winner of that game can go in the playoffs if the Washington football team loses. So one of those teams can go to the playoffs at 6-10 if the Washington football team loses.

Speaker 4 I think the Washington football team should treat week 17

Speaker 4 like a bullpen game. They should just be throwing the quarterbacks out there for drives at a time and be like,

Speaker 4 whatever happens.

Speaker 5 Yeah, like if he gets hot, hot he stays yes if he's if they punt next guy and just be like the tampa bay rays yeah absolutely why not why not it worked out well for them yeah i mean like perfect for them listen i i am not opposed to any of these things i think we have any number of options who are not wildcats the whole time yeah dude run chase young out of the wildcat probably be better he's got good ball security he'll be fine uh i think also if i'm the eagles i'd probably bench jalen hurts in week 17 throw carson went out there

Speaker 5 no no no no no no why you got to see what you have in the future for Carson Wentz.

Speaker 5 He might be the guy.

Speaker 4 Oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 You think Carson Wentz comes in and plays a game of his life?

Speaker 4 The game Carson Wentz plays will be his best game ever.

Speaker 5 I don't think so.

Speaker 4 Whether it's week 17 or week one next week, he has so much pent up, like everyone doubts me, everyone hates me.

Speaker 4 You do not want Carson Wentz playing this game.

Speaker 5 I think that Carson Wentz comes in and plays the most Carson Wentz game ever. No, if he plays in this game, I think he sacks himself into

Speaker 5 the pylon.

Speaker 4 Oh, no.

Speaker 4 Oh, no, no, no. Yeah.
If he if he plays in this game, he will be lights out. All right.
Well, maybe I started.

Speaker 5 Now you're starting to make me doubt my own coping mechanism.

Speaker 4 I don't. You do not because he has so he is think about it this way.
Like the Eagles have nothing to play for. Carson Wentz has everything to play for.
You don't want that. Like that's actually.

Speaker 5 Is that a possibility? Is Jalen?

Speaker 4 He's hurt, right? Is he? I think he might be a little banged up. Like you do not want the guy who got benched who now is playing for every single...
He's playing for his future.

Speaker 4 You don't want that DFD. No, no.
No. No.
All right. Well,

Speaker 5 Hurts scares me more than Carson Wentz. I think Hurts is obviously like a much better quarterback right now than Carson Wentz.
I don't think that...

Speaker 4 Here's the thing, Big Cat.

Speaker 5 I don't think that Carson Wentz's attitude right now and his, like, his will is the problem because Carson Wentz has been trying very hard for the last year.

Speaker 5 It's just that the more he tries, the worse he gets.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I...

Speaker 5 like Carson Wentz playing when he's cool as a cucumber.

Speaker 4 You want Jalen Hurts in this game. You want Jalen Hurts in this game.
Because Jalen Hurts is like

Speaker 5 tugging myself back into it. No, dude.

Speaker 4 Carson Wentz has everything in his.

Speaker 4 He's going to be thinking about his fucking unborn kids being like, I'm playing for you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but Chase Young. I don't know if he's a dad.
Chase Young's going to look at him and be like, remember when we pushed this guy's shit in week one? And they're going to do it again.

Speaker 4 Carson Wentz will play his worst.

Speaker 5 Carson Wentz

Speaker 5 Carson Wentz plays his worst when he's playing his balls off.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 5 When he tries to do too much and he's like throwing submarine interceptions.

Speaker 4 Because Doug Peterson's got nothing to lose too, so he's going to be like, fuck it. Let's just open up the playbook for you, Carson.
And Jalen Hurts,

Speaker 4 let's go to the Eagles Cowboys game. Jalen Hurts is a work in progress.
That was, the Eagles looked awesome, and then they sucked. Sucked.
And Andy Dalton might be back. Yeah.
Is Andy Dalton back?

Speaker 5 He looks good.

Speaker 5 I think you're bearing the lead, really, on this story, which is that Mike McCarthy smashed another watermelon.

Speaker 4 I didn't want to bring it up because I'm now 0-2 in my life with Mike McCarthy watermelon games.

Speaker 5 I have several questions about the watermelons.

Speaker 4 This fucking guy keeps smashing watermelons and beating me. I've lost so much fucking money to these stupid watermelons.

Speaker 5 If Mike McCarthy smashes another watermelon before next week, guess what? The football team is definitely losing, and the Cowboys are definitely winning, and they're getting in.

Speaker 5 That's how the watermelon math works.

Speaker 5 Because I suspect what happened was when Mike McCarthy smashed that watermelon before the Vikings came, I think think it came out later in the news that he did that.

Speaker 5 He got a bunch of people being like, hey, Mike McCarthy, you're not a fat slob, but like you're kind of a genius. And he was like, you know what? I am a genius.

Speaker 5 Then he goes to the store and he stocks up on watermelons because watermelons are out of season right now. You can't go to the store and get a fresh watermelon.

Speaker 4 Smashing watermelons are different. He probably don't need them for taste.

Speaker 5 I don't think you can get one at the store. No, but I think he went to the store and stocked up on watermelons.

Speaker 5 Maybe he can paint the pumpkin and has like an entire like corner of his garage, maybe entire room in his house that his wife is mad at him for, that's just ceiling to floor, stacked with watermelons, because he's like, if I have to give a spark to my team, this is the one thing that I know how to do.

Speaker 5 Watermelons work.

Speaker 4 I think Joe Judge, if Joe Judge is smart, he spends all week not preparing for the Cowboys, but buying every single watermelon in the New York area.

Speaker 4 And I will help. I will help because I hate these watermelon games.
I've lost so much money to the fucking watermelons.

Speaker 4 And the fact that they told us at halftime, like they come out of, they come out of the fucking halftime. They're like, yeah, breaking news.

Speaker 4 mike mccarthy smashed another watermelon god fucking damn it dude i can't win when the coach smashes a watermelon on the night before the game i cannot there is a 0% chance of beating a watermelon team like they beat the Vikings they beat the fucking Eagles and the Cowboys suck and two of their five wins this year six wins a third of their wins are watermelon wins.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's bullshit.

Speaker 5 I'm telling you, he's going to do the watermelon again. He's going to fly with a watermelon.
He's going to put it under his shirt.

Speaker 4 I want TSS.

Speaker 5 And he's going to look like he's pregnant. Damn it.
Going through security. And they're going to be like, sir, what is that? He's like, I'm with child.
And you know what? Please don't judge me.

Speaker 5 And he's going to bring it up to New York. He's going to smash another watermelon.
And the Cowboys are going to win.

Speaker 4 The worst part is, I can actually, I can see it. I can visualize the room.
Mike McCarthy talking to the boys before the big game on a Saturday night. And I can feel the energy.

Speaker 4 And I can see Mike McCarthy fumbling around underneath the table in some

Speaker 4 dining hall and

Speaker 4 then just boom, watermelon on the table and the place erupts. And then he smashes it and the place erupts again.
And it's like the most electric moment ever. Fucking Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 4 I think it's a goddamn watermelon. I don't think it matters.

Speaker 5 I think it's seedless. I think it's absolutely because I don't think Mike McCarthy could smash a seeded watermelon.

Speaker 4 It's like he's one of the best coaches of all time. Lombardi, Belichick, Gallagher.

Speaker 5 I'm telling you. I'm telling you, this is going to end poorly if he smashes another one.
So, yes,

Speaker 5 if you know anyone that sells watermelons or harvests them, we should put up pictures of Mike McCarthy at every watermelon stand in the tri-state area and be like, do not sell to this man.

Speaker 4 I hate this guy. Can't beat, can't 0-2 in watermelon kids.
Can't beat it. I bet way too much on watermelon kits.

Speaker 4 Unbeknownst to myself.

Speaker 5 It was nice to see Deshaun Jackson.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we can everyone yelling, like, don't drop the ball, dude.

Speaker 5 He caught one pass for like 85 yards, got behind the defense.

Speaker 5 I looked at it. I thought it was a replay of like Deshaun Jackson from 2009.
I was like, oh, holy shit, they're showing this.

Speaker 4 No, 20 years from now, Deshaun Jackson will come in, catch an 85-yard pass, and then immediately hurt his abdomen or something and be like, well, he's out for the next 10 weeks.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty good gig. And to be honest with you, I kind of understand where he's coming from, not wanting to score and to like stretch that last yard out for as long as you can.

Speaker 5 Because everything that happens after you score is anticlimactic. Right.
Like, it's not, you no longer have that rush. It's good.
So, like, yeah, he's just addicted to edging.

Speaker 5 He just loves edging so much, and then he'll do it for a good, like, five seconds.

Speaker 5 Then he gets in and it's like, okay, I guess I have to go back to the bench now and probably not catch another touchdown for the next five years. Yep.
But

Speaker 5 that last yard has got to be electric. It was awesome.

Speaker 4 Eagles' secondary is so bad. Actually, that, so going back to the Washington football team, because these games are also paired,

Speaker 4 I feel pretty good for your chances just because the Eagles' secondary is that bad. bad.
Like that, they showed that one stat of that one guy. It was brutal.
It'd be nice if we had a quick.

Speaker 4 It was like 150 yards against them.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it'd be nice if we had a quarterback that could throw a ball into the secondary. Man.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 what are you saying? Your confidence level?

Speaker 5 It's like a two.

Speaker 4 We'll be on a live stream on Sunday night.

Speaker 4 I'm going to bet on the Washington football team in solidarity.

Speaker 4 Unless Carson Wentz plays, then you're getting face fucked. I'll be honest.

Speaker 5 I have no idea what's going on. with Alex Smith.

Speaker 5 We do need somebody to break down exactly what's happening with his leg. I don't don't know.
I don't know what's happening. Like, it's his bad leg.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no,

Speaker 4 he has cramps. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 5 Someone was explaining today that it was like the muscle that they grafted onto the front of his leg that's now cramping up. It's like, well, that none of that sounds good.
Nope.

Speaker 5 I need like a TV chef to break it down because it sounds like they're talking about like a cow's meat and which part is the most. I need Guy Fieri being like,

Speaker 5 the calf is just falling off the bone, Kimo Sabi. It's out of balance flavor.
Because there's no injury specialist that can tell me, except for probably his own doctor, what's happening.

Speaker 5 But if it's not Alex Smith, if it's like Taylor Heineke,

Speaker 5 my confidence level is at a two. Okay.
It's at a three.

Speaker 4 And Dwayne Haskins is

Speaker 5 negative five. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for the yards that he goes backwards.

Speaker 5 Yes. And then

Speaker 5 Logan Thomas, probably a 1.5.

Speaker 4 Wildcat.

Speaker 5 Wildcat, back up to a 2. And then you've got...

Speaker 5 Montez. We've got Steven Montez, a rookie, and he'd probably be at about a 1.5 So I'm not feeling very confident at all.

Speaker 4 Oh, shit.

Speaker 5 And if there's a watermelon involved, just like, just fuck me. Just fuck me.
Just shove the watermelon up my ass.

Speaker 5 Save me some time. Save you a whole mess that you're going to have to clean up in that hotel, Mike McCarthy.
Just stick it right up my ass instead and call it that.

Speaker 4 I want to go to the watermelon game.

Speaker 4 I want to go see it. I want to see what is the bane of my existence.
I forgot. I liked Steve Montez in

Speaker 4 Colorado.

Speaker 4 I liked him. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, I think he's...

Speaker 4 He's anyone who's got.

Speaker 5 Yeah. He'd be the first Mexican-American starting quarterback in the NFL.
I think. I don't think that's true.
I think it is.

Speaker 4 Is it? Bringing. Now, guess what?

Speaker 5 Washington football team, least racist franchise in the NFL.

Speaker 4 There it is. Boom.
What about Jeff Garcia?

Speaker 4 Fuck it. Mark Sanchez.
Fuck. We always forget Mark Sanchez.
We do. Antonio Romo.

Speaker 5 Wait, is he Mexican? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You thought he was Italian? Yeah. I thought it was like a Mike Torito situation.
No, no, no. He's, yeah.

Speaker 4 Jim Plunkett. It's been a lot.
But you know what? Fuck it. That was wrong with me.
It's the first ever.

Speaker 5 First ever. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 4 You got it. You got it.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Last up, Rams Seahawks.

Speaker 4 Jared Goff had to pop his own thumb back in, so why doesn't everyone shut the fuck up about him not being good?

Speaker 4 Agreed. That's all I got.

Speaker 5 And this is, I mean, Blake Bortles can save your life. I'm,

Speaker 4 and, and, I'm mad because sometimes you get a take right, but you time it wrong. I timed my Seahawks defense is going to turn a corner take wrong.
I did it like somewhere in the middle of the season.

Speaker 4 They had a couple more games where they gave up a shitload of points. I think the Bills game.

Speaker 4 They have officially turned a corner. The Seahawks defense has five straight games now where a team has scored 20 points or fewer against them.
And

Speaker 4 the Rams didn't score a touchdown.

Speaker 4 The Seahawks have gone, they're kind of in the Ravens category of we forgot about them because their defense was so bad and they had a couple stinkers in there.

Speaker 4 They now, especially the fact that they could get the one seed.

Speaker 5 They flipped the switch. And, well, to be fair to their defense, yes, they stunk at the beginning of the year.

Speaker 5 They've seemed to have flipped the switch, but they've also played some pretty shitty offenses, except for the Los Angeles Rams. Yeah.
With a hurt Jared Goff.

Speaker 4 Well, the Jets are in hyperdrive, dude.

Speaker 5 Well, I think it's fair to ask, did the Jets give the blueprint to beating the Rams? It was a big-time blueprint game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no,

Speaker 4 this is a dumb thought, but I've actually crossed my mind. Like, what's stopping, I guess the government is the answer to this, but just go with me here for a second.

Speaker 4 What's stopping a team from going, like, last second, fuck them up, all fans in the stadium? Like, what if the Seahawks are in the NFC championship?

Speaker 4 What if the Seahawks get the one seed, NFC championship?

Speaker 5 Slash mob.

Speaker 4 Don't tell anyone, and then, boom, you show up, and they're like, you know what? We know this is risky, but we want to go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 They can't arrest all of us.

Speaker 4 And it would be, it would, I mean, they would win the game. Because

Speaker 4 I do think that

Speaker 4 players and teams aren't used to fans, that it would be a shock to the states.

Speaker 5 A lot of states have exemptions for religious activities.

Speaker 5 So if you were to call it

Speaker 5 the Church of the Twelves. Yeah.
I've just get everybody to show up.

Speaker 4 That has crossed my mind that some team could just pull that out last second and be like, oh, well, guess what? Packed house, loud as fuck.

Speaker 4 Like, Rodgers, I mean, his entire game is cheating at this point.

Speaker 5 I think you can tweet out a flash mob and just arrange for people to show up. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I think

Speaker 5 whatever the Chargers have is contagious and the Rams have caught it. That's my theory that I'm working with.

Speaker 5 Because the play towards the end of the game where the Rams put the ball down and the Seahawks picked it up and started running with it. The guy didn't get touched on the Rams.

Speaker 5 That was a play that the Chargers would make. Yes.

Speaker 5 I can spot a Chargers' play from anywhere. That's a Chargers' play.
There were a bunch of plays actually in this game that remind me very much of something that the Chargers would have done.

Speaker 5 The Rams have kind of taken on that personality of the roommate. I don't know what it is.
I don't like it.

Speaker 5 And I guess maybe the Chargers have taken on some of the Rams' personality, swung the other way on it.

Speaker 4 It's crazy that the Colts and the Rams could not make the playoffs. And you would, you know, a couple weeks ago have been like, those are two teams that are going to be a tough out.

Speaker 5 I think the Rams will still make it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, but there's a way that they cannot. Yeah.
You know, yeah, no, I do too, but who's starting for quarterback? And hopefully their defense can shut down.

Speaker 4 I mean, I don't trust the Cardinals right now. That game's going to be weird.
I'm going to take the under in that game right now.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, if it's Wolford against

Speaker 5 the Cardinals.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and just the way that those two teams are playing and

Speaker 4 knowing each other very well. I don't know.
That's just a.

Speaker 5 I want the Rams in the playoffs.

Speaker 5 Not at the Bears' expense. Not at the Bears' expense.
Wait, no. No, no, if the Rams win, you're good, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

Speaker 5 I want the Rams very badly in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Crack, crack, correct, correct.

Speaker 4 No, but if the Bears lose and the Cardinals win, the Rams would go to the playoffs.

Speaker 5 So that would be the Bears. I want the Bears and the Rams.
I want the Bears in the playoffs and also the Rams can come along, too.

Speaker 4 I'm excited for these playoffs. I hope they stick with seven teams.
Because

Speaker 4 it does feel just, I don't know.

Speaker 5 People out there that are complaining about, oh, we're going to get a mediocre team into the playoffs. Guess what? It's more football.
Yeah. You are actively rooting against more.
I want you to know

Speaker 5 for your own sake so you can hear it out loud what you are advocating. And that's one less NFL football game.
Right. So just so you know, we're on the same page here.

Speaker 5 If you're still comfortable with that position, then I guess do you, but you and I, we will go on different paths at that point. Correct.

Speaker 4 I mean, I've been watching every bowl game. I don't know if people, I don't know how people don't watch every bowl game.

Speaker 4 Coastal Carolina losing was.

Speaker 4 I ended up hating that team. I don't know why.
I think it was because they just faked injuries all the time. But, yeah, I ended up hating that team.
That was a weird ending, too.

Speaker 4 All right, let's do Football Guy of the Week and who's back of the week, and we'll send everyone on their way. Baby Brown of the Week,

Speaker 4 because

Speaker 4 it's only you and I and

Speaker 4 Bubba here. Billy and Jake and Hank, they all get a vacation.

Speaker 4 We're here

Speaker 4 because we wouldn't miss a show.

Speaker 4 So just if you're looking for, like, hey, who's the hero of this podcast? Well, we just named the three. It's three of us.
Bubba. That will work.
Take a bow. Yeah, Bubba.
Take a bow. Yep.

Speaker 4 Three of us that will work no matter what.

Speaker 4 Everyone else, like, whatever. I'm not vacationing.

Speaker 5 Billy has worked very hard this year. Yeah, Billy.

Speaker 4 He needed a break.

Speaker 4 Billy actually sent us an animal fact. Like, he sent us one line and was like, boom.
My job's done.

Speaker 4 He probably said to the people, I think he's with his family, he probably was like, hey, guys, I got a little work I got to do today.

Speaker 4 Gonna need a few hours. And then he sat in his room playing Call of Duty, and then at the very end, sent us a half-ass popsicle stick animal fact.
He was like, woof.

Speaker 5 He probably just Googled animal facts or just typed it in the Twitter search. I'm actually going to look it up on Twitter

Speaker 4 and see if he stole this from anybody. Billy's not a research for the show right now, is he? No cheese.
No, absolutely.

Speaker 5 Well, he might be because you gave him credit earlier. I did? Yeah, somebody might tell him to listen.

Speaker 4 Wait, what did I give him? Oh, the swag thing. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
So, baby Braun, we'll just do your Baby Braun.

Speaker 5 Well, Baby Braun was going to be Mike Tomlin for me because of the wine comment. I would also say whatever is currently inside Lars's uterus would qualify as a baby brawn.

Speaker 4 Yes. Okay.
Yes.

Speaker 4 So that will be our Baby Braun of the Week. Let's see how his parlays did.

Speaker 4 Oh, he had Jets Moneyline. Okay.

Speaker 4 He had Jets Moneyline, Broncos Moneyline, Titans Moneyline.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's do

Speaker 4 Football Guy of the Week. Football Guy of the Week.
So we have four. Jake Marsh sent us.
Jake Marsh did a lot more than Billy. No surprise.
Football Guy of the Week nominees.

Speaker 4 Giants head coach Joe Judge, leading up to the Sunday's Ravens game. He said, with all due respect, let's forget about Christmas.
That was pretty funny. I liked that.

Speaker 4 Ohio State OC tight end coach Kevin Wilson said he was stuck in the office and missed out on his 25th anniversary with his wife by tweeting, missed out on a great night with my lovely bride, got some some great triple option plays.

Speaker 4 I love it.

Speaker 4 I love it.

Speaker 4 She knows what she signed up for.

Speaker 5 The fact that he is a triple option coach is so much better. Yes.
The fact that, like, some great new triple option, there hasn't been a new triple option play in 50 years.

Speaker 4 Listen, she knows. She knows that when you're the coach's wife, you know, you get to call the plays at home.
But if he's staying in the facility, he's still calling the plays. That's how it works.

Speaker 4 Hall fame coach Bill Cower, when tweeting about the unfortunate passing of Kevin Greene, he said, Heaven just got better on defense. That was such a great quote.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And listening to Bill Cower today talk about just the NFL in general and hearing his, like, he hasn't been in Pittsburgh in what, 15 years?

Speaker 4 He's a name, by the way. He's trying to float his name out there.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Bill Cower is a great name to float out there. He's a back out there.
The retread coach that's going to come back. He still has the most perfect Pittsburgh accent.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's beautiful to listen to.

Speaker 4 But that's such a great

Speaker 4 heaven just got better on defense.

Speaker 5 I always like it when they ask.

Speaker 4 Heaven's going to start, it's going to switch to the 4-3.

Speaker 5 I love it when they toss out, like they accidentally use the word hell because they can't get out of their football vernacular. They're like, heaven just got a hell of a defensive end.

Speaker 4 Wouldn't want to be a quarterback in heaven right now. Kevin Green just passed.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 And then Titans center Ben Jones did not let a Green Bay snowstorm stop him from walking out on the field barefoot and saying a prayer to honor honor his brother, which he does before every game.

Speaker 4 I was going to make fun of it, and then the prayer thing.

Speaker 5 Very nice. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's very nice. That is a football.
It's a very football guy thing to do, to see bad weather and be like less close

Speaker 4 and manly.

Speaker 4 All right, so those are our football guys of the week. We'll tweet it out.
I don't know how Kevin Green doesn't win this, the Bill Cower quote.

Speaker 4 That is just such a great, like that Bill Cower, that's the eulogy. That's it.
He's just, yeah.

Speaker 5 He's just up in heaven

Speaker 5 beating the shit out of

Speaker 4 like Otto Graham. Yeah, someone's actually pissed because they were going to do Kevin Green's eulogy and Bill Cower just stole their finishing line.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like that was going to be the final line of the eulogy that brought down the house.

Speaker 5 It would be sick though because we don't know what heaven is if you just get up there and like what do you mean?

Speaker 4 It's the all-22.

Speaker 5 But if the thing that you it's snow football is whatever.

Speaker 5 If you get up there and your job was just to be super violent, you get to go up there and just start kicking the shit out of everybody because it makes you happy, right?

Speaker 4 Yes, yes. All right, so vote for Football Guy of the Week, Football Guy of the Week.

Speaker 4 We will tweet it, we will blog it, Football Guy of the Week. All right, let's do, let's finish up the show.
Who's Back of the Week?

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 8 I got a drink named after me.

Speaker 4 Not a big deal.

Speaker 8 Pink Whitney?

Speaker 4 That's what I thought. See you, fellas.

Speaker 1 I invented the thing, you pigeon.

Speaker 7 Pink Whitney for legendary moments.

Speaker 4 Bubba, let's finish up up the show

Speaker 4 what do you got my who's back is our boy chet hanks oh booyaka booyaka

Speaker 9 man so uh i saw he's doing a 60-day challenge where

Speaker 9 we're improving our mind body and soul oh so i don't yeah i don't really know what that pertains but I'm assuming we're going to get some workout stuff, some life advice, some motivation

Speaker 5 from Chet. Sounds good to me.
Yes. Where do I sign up for this and how much?

Speaker 9 I don't know. The only bad news is we're going to be starting on day three.

Speaker 4 What do you mean?

Speaker 4 He started it on Saturday. That's actually.
Which is a wild move. No, that's a good move.

Speaker 5 That's good.

Speaker 4 I started. All right, so my who's back's kind of related.

Speaker 4 We're doing hard bodies in 2021. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Two years ago was year of the core. This year was 20 push-ups, 20 squats every single day for 2020.
2021, hard bodies.

Speaker 5 What does that mean?

Speaker 4 We're just going to get hard. Hell yeah.
However you want to get hard, get hard. I'm in.
I'm going to, you can, by the end of 2021, you will be able to bounce a quarter off my abs and ass. I'm in.

Speaker 5 I need to get my back hard first.

Speaker 4 Dude, it's everything. Like,

Speaker 4 we're going to have a hard mindset.

Speaker 5 Yeah, what about mine? That's the thing. Yes.
Does the mindset grow the hardness from the inside out?

Speaker 4 It's all going to be, like, people are going to look at us and they'll be like, these aren't soft podcasters. These are fucking hard ass men.
Last of the hards.

Speaker 5 You know what? We're the first of the new hards. Correct.
Of the next generation of being hard.

Speaker 4 We're going to be, so join me. Anyone who's trying to better themselves, we're doing a little runway

Speaker 4 diet from tomorrow, Monday, or today, Monday, to Thursday.

Speaker 4 Monday's not going to work for me. No, it's a listen.
This is what... You want it hard? I'm telling you, I'm being honest.

Speaker 5 I'm giving you a hard mind to set right now.

Speaker 4 It's a pre-diet. So this is going to be the...
You're going to shock your body for the next four days to try to prepare yourself for January 4th. That's when we start.

Speaker 4 But this is just a pre-diet to be like, hey, maybe, maybe things are going to be changing around here in the old tummy.

Speaker 5 I'm going to have a hard time falling into any sort of diet when the Bills are playing Monday Night Football. Right off the top, that's an issue with me?

Speaker 4 All right, just think about it. Maybe do a salad for lunch.

Speaker 4 Okay. Last night

Speaker 5 for lunch.

Speaker 4 My dinner was two sleeves of crackers, a block of cheese, and two ice cream cones. That's hard.
That's soft. No, that's soft.
That's paleo. No, that's soft.
I need to get hard. Okay.

Speaker 4 So we're going to get hard bodies in 2021.

Speaker 5 I'm going to get hard during the day tomorrow. I'll be hard.
Perfect.

Speaker 4 Just shock your body. Shock your body.

Speaker 5 A little soft.

Speaker 4 Do me a favor. Next four days, shock your body in some way.
Let it know that shit's about to get real around here on January 4th or shortly thereafter.

Speaker 5 Does Chet Hayes have any sort of slogan or name for his system, his wellness system?

Speaker 9 No, we need to work on that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no. Hit him up.
Hit him up. No, it's not.
Hard body is gone. All right.

Speaker 4 I've taken that.

Speaker 5 Jamaican me hardbody.

Speaker 4 No, don't let, no, don't get confused. Chet Hayes is a soft body.

Speaker 4 I might do a melding body.

Speaker 4 Chet's hard. Chet Hayes is hard.

Speaker 5 Chet is so hard, dude. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 4 I'm going to get a tattoo.

Speaker 4 Part of my hard body, 2021. Chet has a ton.
Yeah, I know. I'm going to catch up.

Speaker 4 He can't.

Speaker 4 He has like his whole body's covered in tattoos. I'm a blank canvas.
Which would you rather be?

Speaker 4 Probably Chet Hayes. No, fuck that.

Speaker 4 Chet's a man. I'd rather be Chet Hayes.
Chet's fucking sweet. Fuck that.
That's who kids are. Isn't his dad like a.

Speaker 4 Never mind. Who's his dad?

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 Oh, fuck him. Oh, okay.
I thought you were.

Speaker 5 You sly dog. Damn it, dude.

Speaker 4 You got me. You're good.
You're good, you. All right, PFT, your who's back.

Speaker 5 My who's back of the week is the low man trophy.

Speaker 5 We have the finalist for the low-man trophy. We teased it last week.
We said Jacoby Buchanan from Army, the Buchanan ball. He was our first finalist.
He's nominated. The other nominees are

Speaker 5 Tori Carter from LSU. I think he's been nominated twice before.
This is a

Speaker 5 third nomination for Tori Carter from LSU.

Speaker 4 Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.

Speaker 5 We also have Mason Stokie from Wisconsin.

Speaker 5 Ben Mason. We got a couple Masons out there.
Ben Mason from Michigan. He's a recurring winner of the Lone Man Trophy.
And then finally, we've got three Masons. Holy shit.
Mason Wake

Speaker 4 from BYU. Yep.

Speaker 5 So we've got three Masons. That's spooky.
Jacoby Buchanan and then Torrey Carter. Those are the nominees as voted on by our esteemed lowman council.

Speaker 5 Shout out to Chevy, the Chevy Silverado, the official sponsor of the lowman trophy and the official sponsor of Fullbacks Everywhere for putting this all together. We're very excited.

Speaker 5 We will be announcing the winner of the lowman trophy, I believe,

Speaker 5 right before the Heisman Trophy. Yes, right.
We're going to sneak in there and steal some thunder.

Speaker 4 Before Trevor Lawrence wins the Heisman.

Speaker 5 Steal some thunder from Trevor Lawrence. So, again, it's Kobe Buchanan, Torre Carter, Mason Stokie, Ben Mason, and Mason Wake.
That's incredible. Let's go.

Speaker 5 Mason, the name of fullbacks, the name of Chevy Silverados, too. Chevy Silverado, the toughest, grittiest truck in the biz.

Speaker 4 I love it. It's going to be a great night.
Magical night.

Speaker 5 We always do the pigs in a blanket. Well, no.

Speaker 4 We do the chicken wings.

Speaker 4 Shit, what? Dude, that's that's all right. So January 6th.
I said, if you go back and you listen to the tape, I said January 4th or shortly thereafter.

Speaker 5 What about cheat day?

Speaker 4 Well, no, I'm saying shortly thereafter is January 6th. Okay.
So we're good. Okay, good.
Yeah, I always put the shortly thereafter in there as a legal loophole to get me out of my own diets.

Speaker 4 Very smart.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's.

Speaker 4 Should we do a number? Should we fake it and say that we got it right?

Speaker 4 69. No, we would never do that.
Just so everyone knows, we would never do that.

Speaker 4 I shouldn't have said that because now people are going to be like, you're going to fake it.

Speaker 5 No, I'll keep it cat honest.

Speaker 4 All right. 100.

Speaker 4 52.

Speaker 4 Uh-oh.

Speaker 5 Uh-oh.

Speaker 5 Is it broken? Nope. Okay, good.

Speaker 4 That would have been a heartbreak. I rely on that.
100. 100.
100. 100.

Speaker 4 Wait.

Speaker 4 What did you say, Bubba?

Speaker 4 52.

Speaker 4 It's 52. Oh, let's go.

Speaker 4 Let's go.

Speaker 4 Fuck you. Let's go.
go.

Speaker 4 Shit beforehand. New champion.
That's, I mean, people can see it. It's not me and BFT.
52. Fuck Jake in the face.
New champ. Yeah.

Speaker 4 New fucking champ. Sorry, Jake.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we should get a belt or a crown for you to wear.

Speaker 4 Now, Bubba, will you be keeping the number?

Speaker 4 No. Okay, great.

Speaker 4 I'm going to put it back in. Thank you.
It's actually

Speaker 4 taken away. Very nice of you.
I'm sorry. It sucks that we didn't have a full house, but it still was awesome.

Speaker 5 I still would have picked 52, anyways.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and it was awesome because guess what? Fuck everyone else.

Speaker 4 You know what? Maybe that's the end of the game. No, actually, we'll keep doing it because I'm addicted to fucking games.
That's straight up karma.

Speaker 5 You showed up for work.

Speaker 4 Yep, you show up for work. You win absolutely nothing except the satisfaction of getting a ping-pong ball right at the end of the show.
Wednesday, best of with new interviews. So get ready.

Speaker 4 We'll see you every Wednesday.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 5 Oh, also, Billy said

Speaker 5 lambskin was used for condoms condoms until recently.

Speaker 4 Very cool, Billy.

Speaker 5 Nice fact, though. Way to know about condoms, nerd.

Speaker 5 I can't believe it.

Speaker 5 Take on

Speaker 5 me.

Speaker 5 Take

Speaker 5 me on.

Speaker 5 I'll be

Speaker 5 gone,

Speaker 5 Mr. Halty.

Speaker 5 Talking away.

Speaker 5 I don't know what I'm to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 5 Today's a lot of days to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'll be coming for your love of me.

Speaker 5 Shy it away.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'll be coming for your love of you. Take

Speaker 5 you on me.

Speaker 5 I'll be gone.

Speaker 4 It's part of my takes presented by Bar School Sports.