Week 16 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, Smashing Watermelons And Playoff Scenarios

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, week 16, we got a recap of every single game. Who's back of the week, fastest two minutes, playoff implications up the ass.
We literally spent all day watching football, just throwing lobbing playoff scenarios at each other, trying to figure it out. That's what – we don't need no nerd.
We don't need Steve Kornacki telling us what to do. We have our dumb brains in the playoff machine.
I need my two hands, one computer on the playoff machine, the other on 538's playoff simulator like Alicia Keys, playing both at the same time, getting all the scenarios right. I feel like I'm ready, but I feel like once I learn a new thing, I forget the last thing.
But it's also fun to, like, unravel the new thing. Like, ooh, I didn't even realize this.
We'll get to all of that. Pack show, last show, last full show, live show of 2020.
We have a best of coming on Wednesday with some new interviews. So we're brought to you by our friends at the Cash App.
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Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff, work to be done No place to hang out or washing And then I can't leave all on the sun. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
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You get $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA. Today is Monday, December 28th, and it is week 16.

Quinceañera?

No, quinceañera is 15.

15.

15.

Quinceañera plus one.

Sweet 16. I didn't do well in Spanish class.
We start in Las Vegas where Tua was playing like Pua, and the Dolphins played Tua's chairs with their quarterbacks, bringing in Ryan Fitzpatrick Mahomes and a no-look pass to win the game. Josh Jacobs Marley kept the chains moving,

but it was the ghost of Gruden's past that haunted the Raiders on Saturday night

as a coach watched his team suffer another late-season collapse.

Jason, footprints in the sanders, was carried by Jesus above the crossbars

as Dolphins get their one step closer to the playoffs.

Dolphins 26, the Raiders 25. What? What? In Pittsburgh, where Phillip Three Rivers met the Steelers for a game with all the playoff implications, Ben Gothlisberger was brooding in the first half, but then found the cure in the second for a furious Steelers comeback.
James Joyce Conner wrote another chapter on the Steelers Odyssey and look away Joe Buck as Michael Jackson Tomlin has the Steelers moonwalking into the playoffs as Big Ben took a look in the mirror and saw an AFC North champion. Steelers 28 the Colts 24.
In Jacksonville where the Bears win B.I.G. Big looking so good I want to suck on your daddy's dick.
But this, with just me and my Mitch. Me and my Mitch.
Mike Vladimir Glennon passed away and left the Russian attack stolen. Jimmy two times Graham played basketball in college, played basketball in college, and caught a pair of scores in the blowout.
In a touching tribute to their former general manager and coach coach Tom Coughlin. The Jaguars are officially on the clock for the number one pick one week early.
Bears 41, Jaguars 17. What? What? Did someone shit in the jacuzzi? Because the Browns got in the hot chub time machine to relive some old school misery in the Meadowlands on Sunday.
Jamison Irish Whiskey Crowder threw up a shot in the first half to get the Jets going and they never looked back. The Browns receivers went mask off, putting their future in jeopardy as the LeBron's James Jr.
are smashing like on their fifth loss of the year. Jets 23, the Browns 16.
In Kansas City, where my good friends Dan Lebitard-Quinn and Mike Ryan Ruiz will no longer be seen on ESPN come January as the Falcons have been eliminated from the playoffs. While former Chief Larry Johnson stays woke, these Chiefs slip-walked through the first three quarters of the game, almost fumbling away, an easy win.
Fumble! The kicker from the A-team missed a tee, shot wide right to bring the game to overtime, leaving fans shouting, I pity the coup! Chiefs clinched the one seed, 17-14. Over to Baltimore, where J.K.
Rowling Dobbins was very offensive towards Martinez, Peppers, Crowder, and the rest of the Giants' pronouns.

Wayne Gallman-Milk couldn't stop the Giants' offense from having IBS and pooping all over themselves.

Ravens fans feeling like they're taking a super dose of MDMA as everyone all over Baltimore is throwing up the X as Des Bryant finds the end zone again.

The Ravens, 27. The Giants

13.

Oh, sorry. Where were we?

I was just dropping off some of the

little shwammies at the swimming pool,

if you know what I mean. Oh, oh, yeah.

Bucks 47.

Lions 7.

And down to Washington

where T. Dwayne Haskins

I'm sorry. Bucs 47, line 7.
And down to Washington, where T. Dwayne Haskins was in love with a stripper, but he's unable to hit the dub.
Taylor Heineke Karkarbo couldn't fix the football team's muffled punt, and Teddy Roosevelt Bridgewater has Washington's fans missing their cousins, or at the very least, a leader whose legs don't work? Mr. Smith, please report to Washington.
The Panthers take down the football team. 20 to 13.
Sticking in the NFC beast where Jalen Hurts so good, Hurts no good. And Jalen played like a Hurts rent a Carson Wentz as Eagles fans are confused on who they want to be their quarterback.
Michael Scott McCarthy smashed a watermelon making everyone who bet on the Eagles feel like ignorant sluts. And the Cowboys, unlike their owner, are very much alive heading into week 17 as Michael gallop in these guts.
Fuck the Eagles secondary all afternoon long. The Eagles, the Cowboys, a lot.
The Eagles, a little. Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola.

Such a fine sight to see.

It's Taysom Hill, my lord.

Vulturing Alvin scores and stopping Kamala from getting seven TDs.

Come on, Zimmer.

Your future's dimmer. Did Breeze get his ribs removed? He's looking slimmer.
Saints go marching. All right.
Week 16 in the books. That was the fastest two minutes in sports presented by the Whoop, the fitness membership service that provides 24-7 personalized insights that makes it the perfect tool to help you train for whatever you have going on in your life we always have our whoops on we see the heart rate it is great it tells you if you can sleep better it tells you how to train better if you are planning on starting a diet in 2021 which you are we'll get to that later but you are definitely planning on it the whoop is the greatest tool to have it tells you everything you need to know about your body when you can push yourself when you have to take a little day off your strain all that with the whoop right now whoop is offering the best deal of the year join whoop today for zero dollars when you sign up for their six month membership go to whoopcom, W-H-O-O-P.com to check it out.

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Okay, week 16.

The Packers might be a decent football team.

Packers in the snow in Green Bay.

That's cheating.

Also, Aaron Rodgers went too fast for one of the refs tonight. That's cheating.
He did actually cheat. He pulled a hard count on the officials.
And then the next time that they got the ball, they snapped it before Mike Rabel could take a look at the replay and throw a challenge flag. So, yes, Aaron Rodgers is a very good player.
Very good MVP, some might say. Everyone's turning this into like a, oh, if Patrick Mahomes had these numbers, Aaron Rodgers.
Actually, you know what I saw a little bit of tonight for the first time in a long time? Oh, if Aaron Rodgers was going through these speed bumps like Patrick Mahomes is going through, the media would turn on Aaron Rodgers immediately. So you have to look at everything good that Aaron Rodgers does through a prism of what if it happened to another good player.
Aaron Rodgers is the MVP. It sucks.
If I had a vote, I wouldn't vote for him. But I don't have a vote, so I have to just sit here and say he is most likely going to win the MVP.
It's probably deserved. The Packers look awesome.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The Titans are, I don't know what, I mean, they're kind of what we think.
Like they're just, they can look explosive sometimes, but their defense is not good. This was the fraud bowl.
It was a fraud bowl and Titans unfortunately lost the fraud bowl. I don't believe in the Titans, but then you say to yourself, Oh, but Derek Henry just fucking jam it down someone's throat.
I just don't think their defense can hang. Their defense can't hang.
Like, they just can't. They have no pass rush.
They have zero pass rush. And they just don't get off the field on third down.
So I do think it was cheating. I opted out of this game as soon as the Packers started kicking the shit out of them.
I opted back in when the Titans made a five-point game. But the snow was cheating, and the Packers look really good and whatever that's good that's big of you though to admit that they looked really good what do you think do you think that it would be appropriate of me to use uh a connection that i have to try to get the titans better with the pass rush better on defense yes no wait no do it not for the Titans.
Yeah. So Clay Matthews wants to come back and play.
Okay, do it.

Mike Vrabel yeah you're listening to the show right now yeah this is me networking with clay matthews whomst i played call of duty with the other night okay he said he's in pretty good shape now if this can get you at least three roughing the passer penalties at the worst possible time. Now, Mike Vrabel, if this means that you're going to cut a boy to bring in Clay Matthews, please ignore everything I just said.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
But if it means that Clay can stick around... Well, no, if you want to cut Taylor, that's fine.
Yeah, you can cut Taylor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He won't mind. Just don't cut the boy.
The boy. With the terrible haircut.
Who also had, yeah, the peaky fucking Will Compton. I mean, Will, like, I get what he was doing because he unveiled the peaky blinders look after, but you got to do the peaky blinders look first.
No, it was the big reveal. You know nothing about showmanship, Big Pat.
Dude, but the- This was boys being boys. This was a guy getting his- The haircut on its own.

Like, I actually said to myself, did he cut his own hair?

Yeah.

No, he might have. He might have.

Yeah, I think actually he did.

It looked like, I don't want to say it was a bowl cut.

It was more like a yarmulke cut.

It looked like when they were hazing Tim Tebow.

Yeah.

Well, reverse.

Yeah.

Reverse of that.

But it was that bad.

It was pretty bad.

But-

But hey.

Yeah, don't cut that bowl.

Also, Halloween was like two months ago.

Who cares, man?

It's called cosplaying, Big Cat.

Don't you know anything about cosplaying?

Thank you. It was pretty bad.
But hey. Yeah, don't cut that.
Also, Halloween was like two months ago. Who cares, man? It's called cosplaying, big cat.
Don't you know anything about cosplay? I shouldn't be hating. Listen, his look was the definition of tough.
When I saw that, I said to myself, I saw his Instagram, I was like, damn, he looks tough. I think you're legally allowed to kill somebody if you're dressed.
If you've got like a pocket watch hanging out. I couldn't pull it off.
It's like. Definitely not.
You look like a bootlegger from the 20s. Yeah, no, he looked tough.
I think you're legally allowed to kill somebody if you're dressed. If you've got a pocket watch hanging out.
I couldn't pull it off. Definitely not.
You look like a bootlegger from the 20s. Yeah, no.
He looked tough and real. And then I'd also like to bring, if we're talking about cheating, Devontae Adams' cleats are cheating too.
Yep. Agreed.
Chris Collinsworth gave them the MVP. So actually, you know what? If you did have a vote, if this podcast had a collective MVP vote, I think right now we'd have to get behind Collinsworth.
He is the pro football focus guy. That's true.
So I'm going to trust what he says. Yeah, the Packers are good.
The Titans are not. I don't know what else to say.
It'd be fun if Tractor Cito got 233 yards next week. Got 2,000.
I don't think he's going to get there, yeah. But we have the entire week 16 board to go down.
We're going to go through all of the different playoff scenarios. Read the Magic Johnson tweet one last time.
Well, which one? Because you put another one out there. This is probably the one that you were talking about.
That's why you don't even have to watch the games first. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to win MVP this year because he and the Packers have been dominate all season from start to finish plus Patrick Mahomes.
Oh, there he goes. Talking about Patrick Mahomes.
Do the other one. Do the other one.
With the Packers having home field advantage in the playoffs, they will be tough to beat because of the cold weather and the snow. Exclamation point.
That was the exact moment that I was worried about the Packers making a deep run. Yeah, they're going to be tough.
As soon as Magic Johnson has figured out the key to the Packers' success and he just lets it out there like that, and I and I'm like fuck it's amazing because I've spent like all day today going over all the playoff pictures and all the scenarios and the the more I learn about it the less I know about it it's like the universe or vagina and when Magic Johnson just comes out and he just spills the beans like that it's like it was that easy that easy all along. Yeah.
He just, I've been reporting this for six years.

He just tweeted it.

Isn't that, what was that?

Yeah, that was, was that about one of the Trumps?

Yeah, he's like, and he just went and he tweeted it.

Yeah, that was one of the first times that Donald Trump was definitely not going to be president anymore.

Back in like 2016.

Oh, he just went and tweeted it.

All right.

Let's get to the rest of the week 16 slate. We're starting.
We're going back in time all the way to Christmas Day. Vikings, 33, Saints, 52.
It never even felt that close. No.
When you said that the Vikings scored how many points? 33. See, if you had asked me offhand how many they scored on Christmas Day, I would have said like 10 points.
The quote of the game was in like the first quarter, I want to say it was.

Troy Aikman just straight up said, this Vikings defense isn't really good.

Yeah.

So when you have an announcer just admit that straight up, you know it's going to be a long

day for them.

And Alvin Kamara, six touchdowns, I started him, or I was going up against him in 19 of

my 24 fantasy championships. That's brutal.
Was so bad, PFT. Ruined my Christmas.
But yeah, the Saints, like this was, this is the Saints recipe. And I know obviously the Vikings defense is that bad, so you can't be like, hey, just score six rushing touchdowns, seven rushing touchdowns, right? Because Taysom Hill had one.
He got six. Taysom Hill came in, pulled one away.

And that's one of those situations where when you're

watching the game, you know that Sean Payton

is trying to get somebody paid with that touchdown.

He's a big... I can see why

players want to go play for him because he's like his own

little mint down there. He's like his own little bank

where if he knows that one of his guys

is standing to get

some sort of incentive in his contract,

Sean Payton will get that guy paid. His owner's up in the booth like, God damn it, Sean did it again.
Cost me another $500,000. But yeah, Sean Payton, it was weird when he put Taysom Hill in for that touchdown, but then he made it up to everybody.
But I wanted a little reward for watching that game. Give me a little bit of history, Sean Payton.
Right. Let me see some guy get seven touchdowns on Christmas Day.
There should be a Christmas Day football game every single year. I know that's impossible because Christmas, unlike Blake Bortles, it does move around in the calendar.
Not the date, but the day. We had a game on every single day of the week this year.
Yeah, it was great. So it was great to have, especially because there was a lot of blowouts in the NBA.
But the Saints, I'm like an old record. I'm beating the dead horse.
I don't want to get too far into it, but I still believe that Drew Brees is what holds back this team. He definitely looks limited.
He's not 100% healthy. He had nice stats, a lot of yards.
But in the first half, he had a couple throws. He had the he had? The head scratchers.
The head scratchers. He's got the head scratchers.
And the Saints are a really, really good football team. And I'm not saying Drew Brees can't just have a month where he throws back time, takes a couple shots, and all of a sudden he's back to old Drew Brees.
But it feels like we're just heading on a collision course to a big game where Drew Brees needs to make five to six huge throws, and it's just not exactly the same as it used to be. If the Saints can play against those Vikings, then yes, they will win every single game.
Because Mike Zimmer was just on the sidelines hating his football team. He usually reserves that sort of hate for his quarterbacks, really.
But Troy Aikman's hate of the Vikings' defense is something Troy Aikman usually reserves towards, like, Doug Gottlieb.

Right.

Or Skip Bayless firing off at the hip about something.

But they're a really, really stinky defense.

Really bad defense, and Dan Bailey's still employed.

I don't know why.

Still missing kicks.

But, yeah, the Saints are really, really good.

The Saints are really, really good. I mean, we can go through this because we're going to go through all of our playoff scenarios but i absolutely put the saints in super bowl contender yeah uh like tranche whether drew breeze can get them there i don't know but in the nfc they are one of the teams nfc is kind of like weirdly loaded because yeah who else is in your super bowl tranche? Because I feel like the Seahawks, obviously.
The Packers, the Seahawks. And I guess we could go to the next game right now.
But I guess if the Bucs could play the Lions every day, if the Bucs could play the Lions in every round of the playoffs, they are my prohibitive Super Bowl favorite. Yeah, I mean, it's a major asterisk game because you could count that as a flip-to-switch game for the Bucs offense.
Or the Lions did have a coach. I don't know what it was, but everything finally clicked for this Bucs offense this week.
They were firing on all cylinders. They got Brock involved.
They got Antonio Brown involved. They got Mike Evans involved.
Leonard Fournette looked like he had two working legs yep and a soul this week yep i don't know what it was but something about that offense this week matt patricia must have been sitting at home just like firing up his own little old takes exposed twitter account just like retweeting everybody that was talking shit about his defense earlier in the year because say what you want about matt patricia and i will and i'll continue to do so in the future um but at least he was a coach on defense well they didn't have coaches yeah no one coach didn't actually have coaches uh it we had two weird COVID situations the Browns wide receiver corps and the Lions coaches they had uh who was it Evan Rothstein and there was someone else who was coaching that was like what what is going on I was shocked to learn that the lions had coaches i it kind of it was kind of like a choose your own adventure like what would happen if you had to coach an nfl team right well you'd lose 47 to 7 and the only touchdown would be a kick return yeah well at least we got to see like a little mizzou off at the end we got chase daniels blaine train chase daniels just he's not meant to be playing he's meant to just be chilling you Chase Daniels $6 million a year to be a good dude, like a fun guy to hang out with in the locker room. He's a locker room guy.
Yeah, and not to mess up the chemistry of the team. You don't pay Chase Daniels $6 million to go out on the field and play against the Bucs.
No, you don't. So my question to you is, Bruce Arians did the right thing by benching Tom Brady at halftime Tom Brady had 22 for 27 348 yards four touchdowns in one half of football uh they were just scoring whenever they wanted we even had robot Gronk which was fucking sick I think it's actually more insulting to bench your quarterback at halftime than less insulting like it is the right thing to do in sportsmanship and be like hey we't want him to get injured.
We also don't want to run up the score too much, which, by the way, this over was an absolute travesty. If you had this over, I apologize.
That was just two overs in that stadium in two weeks. The MAAC championship game and this game, where it was two extra points missed and also a field goal.
When a team scores 47, the over should hit. That should be in law.
Like if I were president, I'd make that a law. If a team scores 47 in the NFL, the over hits no matter what.
Well, why not take out some of your defensive starters too? Yeah. Like be consistent on both sides of the ball.
Be like, hey, if you're still watching, at least I'm going to treat you to a few points. Right.
But don't you think it's sneaky, more insulting to be like, hey, we don't need our starting quarterback for an entire half of this game? Yeah, absolutely. And as a viewer, I tuned in to watch Tom Brady play.
I've seen Blaine Gabbert play. The Blaine train was electric.
His first pass was a touchdown pass. Yeah.
I think that my biggest takeaway from this game is kind of like it's gone along with the story of the lion's season which is i feel bad for matthew stafford yep he got hurt again he's a tough guy and i i'm just spending most of my energy when it comes to the lions thinking about where i'd like to see matt stafford go like a list of teams that matt stafford could not turn into a contender all of them can make contender it's pretty much the Lions and the Falcons because no one can really work magic. Maybe the Jets.
Maybe, but the Jets are 2-0. Yeah, the Jets are the hottest team in the NFL right now.
But, yeah, I feel like Matt Stafford next year, I want to see him go somewhere fun, somewhere where he can thrive for a little bit. The problem with Matt Stafford is he did sign that long-term deal with the Traylor.
I don't know how many years he has left. And I kind of respect that.
I know some people are like, well, he's not a winner because he signed on to be with this terrible organization. Sorry, Lions fans.
But I respect, like, dude, just get your money. Have your life.
Maybe put up a Hall of Fame career career in my eyes, stat-wise. But the Bucs, let's talk about the Bucs real quick.
So the Bucs, first time in the playoffs since 2007. That was the second longest playoff drought, the Browns being the longest.
So it's crazy. 2007.
Who started that game? 2007. For the Bucs.
Against the Giants. The Giants won the Super Bowl that year.
Phil Simms. Jeff Garcia.
Oh, really? Jeff Garcia started that game for the Bucs. And it also was the last time that John Gruden went to the playoffs, which we'll talk about John Gruden in a minute.
That was the start of John Gruden just collecting quarterbacks. That season that he brought in like Jeff Garcia.
He brought in Jake Plummer, who I think was there for like two weeks and was like, I'd rather go play handball. See ya.
But yeah, that was the end of the one Super Bowl Gruden dynasty in Tampa. Yes.
And so the other stat, which is crazy, just to even like see it written out, is that the Bucs made the playoffs for the first time since 2007 and the Patriots missed the playoffs for the first time since 2008. Tom Brady is a playoff machine.
That is crazy. Yeah.
I mean, that's nuts to think that it's been that long. Honestly, like for the Bucs, it doesn't feel like it's been that long.
Yeah. I don't think of the Bucs when I think of, like, the biggest losing franchises, but you forget that the Rex Ryan years in New York were actually not bad.
Well, it kind of proves what one Super Bowl can do for a franchise because you're right. You don't think the Bucs losers, but the Bucs really are losers.
They're losers, and then they had a five-year stretch where they were winners, but they were really, really bad for a really long time in the creamsicles. They've been really bad pretty much the last 15 years, but they're back in the playoffs.
Happy for Bucs fans. Stephen Shea, that's pretty much who we're talking about.
Shout out, Stephen. I know you're listening right now.
Hopefully we did the ads correctly. I'm happy for you.
I still don't believe in the Bucs fully because I don't think that they can just flip the switch. It still feels like a team that you're going to like, we're going to watch a playoff game and they're gonna struggle to move the ball and you're like how is this happening like they have all of these guys the bucks are gonna get to play against probably an nfc east team in the playoffs yeah that'll be nice to play the saints they're in trouble they're in they have to play the packers they're in trouble if they have to go if the yeah if the if the bucks have to go to lambo and as magic johnson taught in the playoffs in Green Bay, it's actually going to be very cold and possibly also snow.
That's going to be an issue for Tom Brady, who says that he will never move back up to the northern United States. Right.
So credit to the Bucs, though. First time since 2007.
That's awesome. Any playoff drought that gets eliminated is cool.
And then the Lions, yeah, I don't know um yeah that's tough it's bad it's tough it's really bad have they have they said who they're interviewing yet i know some teams are starting to do the thing where they they tweet out who they they've just completed an interview with i like that when teams keep me posted on that yeah like every team in the nfl so far that has a coaching vacancy i think has interviewed marvin lewis yes yes mar yes. Marvin Lewis is a hot name for some reason back on the streets.

Very hot.

Probably because of Marvin Lewis.

Marvin Lewis is putting his own name out there.

Hugh Jackson's probably putting his name out there.

He's bringing Hugh Jackson with him.

It's a package.

I don't understand why interim head coaches,

Daryl Bevel had the one-game bounce, the dead cat bounce,

where an interim head coach comes in, does well for a game,

they beat the Bears.

If I were an interim head coach, I would you pretty much they always win their first game because guys just try really hard i'd just fake a heart attack after that and be like yeah go out on top have them carry me off and then just be like i'm out i'm out i'm wanting to know as a coach i'm out yeah jim tom sula should have quit after the first game jim tom sula doesn't quit anything though he's wanting to know yeah so yeah i think that what teams should do is they should just stick with a hot hand when it's interim head coach just like if you won your last game boom you're in or just cycle them in and out like there's nothing to stop the lines from it's pretty much what they're forced to do at this point right just like have a new coach every week a celebrity coach have kid rock have eminem i like that have detroit don detroit don could get detroit don is an analytics guy i sat with him for a game he was crunching numbers left and right he was just like we're fucked yeah no he was actually very smart he was like we're statistically we're we're back in this thing when they were like they were like five and nine or five and eight and he's like listen if we win this one and then we win the next one and then the next one and then a bunch of teams lose we're back in yeah it should be a fuck a fan contest pretty much and he's like, listen, if we win this one, and then we win the next one, and then the next one, and then a bunch of teams lose, we're back in this. Yeah, it should be a fuck-a-fan contest pretty much, where it's like the season ticket holders are now eligible to become head coaches.
Right. For one game, one week.
The caller with the strongest take on local sports talk radio should get the opportunity to put his money where his mouth is and get down on the sidelines. That's genius.
All right, so the next Saturday game, the Amazon game.

Shout out to everyone who was probably pissed off

because they didn't have Amazon Prime.

What are you doing?

It is a sad realization when I realized that my entire life

is living in fear that there will be a game I gambled on

and I cannot watch.

Oh, it's the residual effect of Army Oklahoma.

Yes, yes. So people were tweeting like, dude, you probably don't have Amazon Prime because I'm a very staunch cable, cable, cable, because I need to be up to date.
I have every streaming app. I have Flow Sports.
I have Fubu TV or Fubo TV. I have fucking the Facebook Live when I need to watch a game.
I've watched games on shit that you don't even know exists. Pluto TV.
I'm naming shit. Like I've watched games on all these things.
What's the one that they're like. Conca calf is always on.
BN, BN sports, BN sports. Yeah, dude, I got BN.
Fuck. Yeah.
I was watching Mexican soccer a few, few months ago. Cause I had, I had money on the game.
So the, I have, my life is just living in fear that there'll be someday I'll wake up, have action on a game, and not be able to watch it. So, yes, I had Amazon Prime.
It was kind of weird. It was just, like, what did you say about the host? The host was like, the best way to describe him would be like, he's like a robot version of Chris Fowler.
Or like, you know ESPN has the machine that they just crank out Reese Davis's, one by one by one? He's like if you left Chris Fowler in the Reese Davis machine for like two days. He's overdone.
He's overdone. It's like, okay, this is too much tall, polished, white guy, dark hair, sportscasting in a giant studio being piped into my computer.
Yeah, being piped into my computer. Call Bezos up.
He'll buy him for half price. Yeah, he's the robot dog of the Reese Davis machine.
I agree with that. His name was Rhett.
Yeah, Rhett. Yeah, exactly.
There was a glitch. No offense to Rhett, but the name's Rhett.
He seems nice. Yeah, the name's Rhett.
Yeah, it seems like if Jake Marsh had like seven head injuries and didn't know anything And a computer chip. Yeah, and a computer chip that one of his professors at Syracuse had installed on him and tell like how to be a sports broadcaster.
That's what this was like. It was a weird experience.
This is going to suck when Rhett is like, I've been at AWS since day one. Yeah, I mean, he seemed like a nice guy.
Yeah, he seemed like a nice guy. Two Ts.
But yeah, it was also like, it felt like the right two teams to be playing in an Amazon game. Yes, almost futuristic.
They're both kind of like high tech and weird, like, hot coaches. And they also, they also, in the future in the NFL, everyone will share a stadium.
Yep. Which is what the Cardinals and the 49ers have been doing.
It's the we work of stadiums. Right.
We're just going to be playing games around the clock. We've disrupted the national football.
Yeah, and a stadium in the clouds. But yeah, so the Amazon game.
This is the future of Amazon's going to buy the NFL. Eventually, yeah You think it was a one-off, it is not Amazon is going to buy the entire NFL I mean, it'd be a power move if they had the entire Sunday ticket And there's so many people That don't understand streaming They just got caught up On how to operate their DirecTV remote Last season They just memorized what the Red Zone channel number is.
They just memorized where to find their team every Sunday. They probably don't even use the entire Sunday ticket package.
They just know the channel that their team is usually on and go to that. They're going to be so confused when everything is streaming.
Yes. Oh, yes.
Very, very confused. All right, so this game, though.
George Kittle's back. I fucking love George Kittle.
The hot mic when he said, I fucking love the Bears.

This game was big for the Bears.

Playoff destiny.

Let's talk, though, real quick about Cliff Kingsbury.

Yep.

Cliff Kingsbury.

Are we sure he's good?

No, we're not.

I don't think he is.

I think we've established that I don't think he is good at all.

Actually, I am sure that he's not good.

It's kind of amazing when you look back at Cliff Kingsbury's entire resume and you realize, like, oh, attractive people do really run this world. Like, if you are a good-looking guy or a girl and you can walk into a meeting and wow someone, you can fail upwards all the way.
Cliff Kingsbury was 35-40 as a head coach at Texas Tech. He had two winning seasons out of six.
He was 19-35 in conference. And now you're probably saying, hey, big cat, like, okay, Texas Tech's hard to win at.
Well, Mike Leach had 10 straight winnings. Another very good looking guy.
Tommy Tuberville went 20-17 at Texas Tech.

I personally went 9-3.

7-2 in conference. Not to brag.

Baylor game.

Ate a little bit of a weed brownie. Whatever.

Shit happens. Okay? So

the Cliff Kingsbury

like, he's never been good.

I don't get it. No, it was

very bizarre when they hired him and he

was never like, he was

interviewed to be a coordinator I think a couple years ago,

right? Yes. So that was

I'm sorry. I don't get it.
No, it was very bizarre when they hired him. And he was never like – he was interviewed to be a coordinator, I think, a couple years ago, right? Yes.
At the NFL. No, he had a job as USC offensive coordinator, and then they hired him.
Right. But his interviewing or his NFL experience comes from, like, doing one interview to be the offensive coordinator for an NFL team.
Right. That's his experience in the NFL.
Then he comes to the league. He hasn't really won where he's been at.
And this is honestly kind of what I expect, but I feel like the main reason that I don't like the Cardinals is because they don't fit into what my identity of the Cardinals should be with Cliff Kingsbury. Their defense is too good.
Well, Van Schultz has done a great job. Van Schultz has kept them alive.
But what I'm saying is I think I would appreciate Cliff Kingsbury more if their defense kind of stunk and they were just in shootouts all the time

and it reminded me of a Big 12 game.

Right.

So if they were giving up like 35 points a game,

but their defense is like top 15, I think, top 12.

So it doesn't really jive with that identity that I have where I'm like,

okay, I'm going to tune into a Cardinals game.

It's just going to be a points fest. Right.
And so, Cliff Kingsbury, not very good. The Cardinals needed this game.
And on the other side of the sideline, Kyle Shanahan is incredible. Kyle Shanahan is winning games with backups backups.
CJ Beathard, who Billy said had swag, I'll give him that. I was wrong wrong he was right because i just needed the niners to win again shout out george kiddo jeff wilson was like their third string running back and i like robert sala it is robert sala season everyone's gonna be talking about him but that guy put cliff kingsbury in a fucking box dude and i'll tell you who the real mvp this game was was robert solace holdback guy yeah there were a couple instances where he got out on the field like 20 30 yards and just got dragged backwards like he was in a bungee cord like he was trying to do some wind sprints with a parachute on his back it was amazing and again we're not uh we're not uh like geniuses football geniuses we just like just very good looking and feel upwards right exactly but it just feels like when you have kyler murray and deandre hopkins your offense should win games against the 49ers who have nothing to play for and a bunch of backups yeah well deandre hopkins i like how it's got to be cliff kingsbury who's leaking out like deandre hopkins is not putting in the effort at practice that that's necessary right which is why we're not passing the ball i think deandre hopkins is one of maybe like three or four players in the NFL that you don't really need a super high level of effort from him in practice because whatever – it's like Devontae Adams' cleats, DeAndre Hopkins' hands.
There's something weird about them that just makes them so much better than everybody else that plays that position. Agreed.
Agreed. All right, so anything else on this game? No.
No,'t think so amazon game is it was strange yeah honestly it's pretty much what i expected yeah i took me like 15 minutes to get the uh closed captions off which drove me insane um all right how do you get closed captions on the internet i don't dude i just turned it because i watch all my i watch every movie ever with closed captions so you're like reading a book while you watch a movie. You realize I started it.
That completely defeats the entire point of watching a movie. All right.
Here's what all I'm going to say is I started it once I started watching Peaky Blinders, what, like five years ago? Because you couldn't understand a word they said. You realize, especially with like cell phone and you're watching, I have three TVs, so I'm watching two games underneath.
You miss so much shit if you're just, like, passively listening. When you also have to do a little bit of reading, you pick up everything.
So I'll stand by it. I don't care.
I watch every single movie. Call me old guy.
I am. Whatever.
I watch every single movie now with closed captions because I feel like I pick up everything. That is really weird.
I don't think it's that weird. I think there's more people come out of the woodwork and be like, same.
And, I mean, again, I'm not, like, young. I didn't do this when I was 23.
I'm about to be 36. I think it's too many words for football.
Football is a story of pictures. Well, no, obviously I didn't do it for football.
I turned it off for football. Yeah.
But it was on because of the movies. You have to turn it off.
And Amazon Prime. Well, it's the only time I'm watching a game on football.
Eventually, you'll forget you'll forget how to turn it off and then you'll have to call over like your younger neighbor to see if they know i operate the tv i tried and then i realized there was just a cc button but yeah no i i had it on for movies the only time i watch a football game on amazon is once a year until amazon buys the whole thing and then yeah back to movies all right dolphins raiders Saturday night Fitzmagic what a fucking that game was so boring and then Ryan Fitzpatrick came in and it just everything changed and like both sides he just something about him makes everything more fun and awesome and it was chaotic and crazy and I don't know what they do with two up but i have uh a quote for you from john gruden so john gruden was criticized for the end of the game situation where they don't score a touchdown they leave ryan fitzpatrick like 15 seconds i i have no problem with it because it's like you need basically what happened to happen i don't a crazy play in a face mask otherwise you're giving don't know, like 45 seconds. I don't have a problem with it, but I know who does have a problem with it in retrospect is John Gruden.
Well, no, he doesn't. Actually, he doesn't.
I bet you. No, because this is, I actually agree with John Gruden.
It's damned if you do, damned if you don't, because they scored too early against the Chiefs. And Patrick Mahomes killed them.
So here's the part where John Gruden is, like, fucked in the head. His decision-making is right there.
He essentially compared Ryan Fitzpatrick to Patrick Mahomes. He said, we did that against Kansas City, honestly.
We scored with 115 left, and Mahomes went down and beat us. I didn't want Fitzpatrick to have the ball.
He's a gunslinger. He's hot.
That's all I can say. So he's just putting Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Mahomes.
He's basically saying they're the same guy. Okay, but if you score a touchdown, then you take the field goal.
You take that off the table. What do you mean? Yeah, right, but it's another 45 seconds.
He's saying he did. He is right.
He did the opposite earlier in the year, and it burned him that way. I agree with what he said right there, but I bet you anything John Gruden will never take another knee in that situation again.
But he lost doing it the other way. So that's how John Gruden operates.
He learns his most recent lesson. So he's using the lesson that he learned from the Chiefs against the Dolphins.
Next time this happens to him, he's going to be using the lesson that he learned against the Dolphins against the next person. Probably right.
He's going to score a touchdown. He's going to be sick to himself driving laps around Allegiant Stadium at night like he just beat the Chiefs.
But he's just going to be like pounding the steering wheel, listening to Radar Love and being like, God damn it, I didn't play football. I wasn't true to myself.
I should have scored a touchdown instead of kicking a field goal. I agree with you there.
And I think that John Gruden, like that decision, have no problem with let's talk about everything else john gruden like his offense was over 10 on third down there were one for four touchdowns in red zone he has now had two teams back-to-back years start six and four lose four out of five yeah two times i think back-to-back years i think we warned you about this like a month and a half ago, right before this started. Like, John Gruden, I feel like he is a coach.
We're at the start of the year, right after training camp. First of all, you're happy that he hasn't killed you during training camp yet.
He's doing a knock if you're with me. He's doing a knock on wood if you're with me.
He's doing that weird dance in the locker room where he does like the Macarena. Yep.
And then after about a couple months, you're like, God damn, is this guy serious? This is what he's like all the time? Right. Like all the time, all the time? And then you start to get a little worn down.
Plus, you've got Derek Carr, who is like a Theon Greyjoy, the way that I feel bad for Derek Carr. I feel like every time something good happens to him, he gets his guts ripped out or his nuts chopped off the very next week, and something bad happens him.
He's kind of in my Ryan Tannehill, your thing with Ryan Tannehill, where it's like Derek Carr could play great, and I'll still be like, but it's Derek Carr. Yeah.
It's Derek Carr, and eventually it won't work out. But so John Gruden, so like I said, four out of five, two years in a row down the stretch.
He's 63-80 since his Super Bowl win. I don't understand.
Why doesn't he get just because everyone likes him? It's crazy that he doesn't get any criticism for this team. Everyone was talking about the Raiders being like, oh, watch out for the Raiders.
Watch out for the Raiders. They got a lot of pieces.
Their defense isn't great, but they got a lot of pieces on offense. John Gruden's job is the offense.
The best thing that happened to John Gruden was getting replaced by Jason Witten when he left the booth because then everybody was like, man, I really miss John Gruden. He knew what he was talking about when it came to football.
And also every time he throws a spider 2 wide banana out there, it's just fun to say. And it And it reminds us of Gruden.
Yes. We like that.
And we like him as a personality. Would I want him coaching my football team for $10 million a year? Probably not.
Probably not. Probably not.
But going back to Fitzpatrick for a second, I actually think that Ryan Fitzpatrick should be in the hall of fame. Yeah.
I think he should be a hall of famer. Not just that memorable, not just because the bust would be legendary with the beard in it, but because he's provided so many great memories and so many weird things have happened in and around Ryan Fitzpatrick's body.
So he could be like, okay, if he doesn't have the stats to get you there, we put in contributors to the game every year. If he's not a player, he should be a contributor to the game and get into the NFL.
Absolutely. he um i don't know what they do with tua it's very odd that you've benched your starting quarterback who you drafted fifth overall twice now in like a month and a half and brian flores is still like yeah two is our starter until we need to win the game and then ryan fitzpatrick is play is coming into play and it like i i was seeing some dolphins excuses for Tua.
And obviously he's young. I'm not going to give up on him because of just this year.
But it's crazy how much better the offense looks when Fitzpatrick's in versus Tua. I think Kurt Warner was doing the game.
He actually had the perfect explanation for it that T is is waiting for guys to get alabama open not nfl open whereas ryan fitzpatrick will he'll throw to guys who are fully covered every yeah he's used to throwing the guys who are harvard open which is double teamed right so he like tua is waiting for these guys to be streaking down the field wide open it just doesn't happen in the nfl that way and i don't know i like he's like a better version a better learned version of Josh Rosen at this point where it's like his stats if you just look at his stats you're like oh my god he's 75% oh wait but it was for 70 yards and he threw the ball 20 times I actually have no problem with what Flores is doing with the quarterbacks. I think it's interesting, and it's definitely something that isn't repeated by any other coach.
But I guess he's got a sense in the locker room where he's just going to go with a hot hand no matter what's happening. Get to the playoffs.
And it seems like neither Fitzpatrick nor Tua really have a problem with it. So it's like, why is this any different than any other position? Probably because the quarterback is generally the leader of your offense.
Right. And it's good to have a rhythm going.
But if neither guy, like the best thing that you can have for Ryan Fitzpatrick is a quick pull for him and put in another guy when Fitzpatrick starts to do bad Fitzpatrick stuff. Right.
Because when he's doing Fitzmagic stuff, it's the best thing ever. It's like every drug combined into one.
you're like, this guy can win. This is a dynasty of one that I can have as my quarterback.
But when he starts throwing the really weird interceptions and fumbling the ball and it looks like the wheels are coming off, like having a guy that's able to come in there and not be awful is actually great. I think Fitzpatrick would probably admit, like, yeah, sometimes I do some strange shit.
That's what you get. Sometimes I get fucked up in the head.
Listen, when you strap yourself into the Fitzpatrick roller coaster, sometimes you're going to have to pull the lever and take a break. You can't ride that roller coaster for a season at a time.
It's true. All right, I just looked it up.
Tua was 17 for 22 on Saturday night. How many yards? 90.
94. Yeah.
That's insane. Yep.
4.3 yards. and he had a touchdown, which was really just a dump-off to Miles Gaskin, who made a nice play.
Yeah. I mean, they should honestly have Fitzy and Tua in there at the same time.
Yeah. A double quarterback, like one right-handed, one left-handed.
And Trent Dilfer still thinks he's special. Who? Trent Dilfer.
Oh, Trent Dilfer thinks that Trent Dilfer is Trent Dilfer no Trent Dilfer trains Tua so

I actually I can I'm okay with him having his guys back but some of the things he's been saying about Tua is like what I mean Tua looks okay but he looks okay I'm firmly in the Tua will be okay no I again I'm not giving up on him I don't think he looks okay though right now like I don't think 17 for 22

for 94 yards in today's NFL

is crazy.

It's not.

No, it's actually, like, pretty tough.

Ryan Fitzpatrick was 9 for 13 for 182 yards.

He threw it half the amount of times for double the yards.

I also think that Fitz plays so much better when he's uncomfortable.

That, like, if teams just sat back, and, again, I have no stats whatsoever to back any of this up so i mean it's probably true because i'm saying it but like when he's playing against a team that's like blitzing the shit out of him he's taking hits he's getting his head ripped off sideways like that last pass that he threw i actually expected ryan fitzpatrick to complete that pass yes because his head was looking backwards yes through it it's when he's like when he's got too much time and he starts to get bored and like a dog that you leave alone and it just goes nuts and eats the door frames off your apartment because you're not at home like that's when fitzpatrick gets in trouble and he tries to like create a little bit of chaos for himself but when it's when it's tough on him then he's really good so yeah i don't know maybe maybe next game uh against the bills. Maybe Fitzpatrick goes out there.
He's going to have like a good revenge quarter against the Bills. Well, he's not going to play as of right now.
Or two is still starting. Two is a starter.
Okay. That's my point.
Two is a starter. It's a very bizarre situation.
We're not going to get this over in this Packers-Titans game. It's going to be a travesty.
Yeah, the Titans stink. We talked about that that's time traveling for you all right falcons chiefs um you know the chiefs have 10 comeback wins this season i did not come back win being just that they were down at any time losing at some point but does that does feel weird right it does but i mean that's what they did in the playoffs last year thanks for coming out chiefs yeah thanks for coming out chiefs it's just crazy they're that good, but they've been down in pretty much every single game.
This game was weird because they just looked bad against the Falcons, and Patrick Mahomes did not look sharp. And then yet still they can flip the switch to get the ball down late.
Patrick Mahomes threw a pick that wasn't caught, which I know that sounds weird, but that's exactly what the play was. Like, it was a bad pass.
It was an interception. He just couldn't catch it.
And then the Chiefs win. And I want to give credit to Raheem Morris because I looked it up.
Dan Quinn, this is the same team. Dan Quinn, when he was the coach of the Falcons, five games, 32.2 points per game they were giving up.
Raheem Morris has been coaching the falcons for now 10 games 20.9 points so 10 12 points better yeah that's crazy yes same fucking guys change and like they held the chiefs to under 20 points dang quinn is like an offensive guru oh no wait he's actually like a defensive mastermind right um i've got to take about the chiefs i think the chiefs are getting too cute with it i think as a football team that fourth down call was the cutest thing you've ever seen i think they're too cute they're playing too cute football out there that's fake and they're too are they too cute to win in the playoffs like i don't know they used to be exactly the right amount of cute but now it's like they've gone ann hathaway and all i need is an emma stone yep and it's just overboard i. I agree.
Too much cuteness. There is a little bit of cuteness.
Got Andy Reid in his thong mask and Daisy Duke shorts running around. Touchdown.
The too cute moment happened right when they did the fourth and one fake where Patrick Mahomes was running down the field as a wide receiver in a game that didn't really matter. I mean, obviously they got the one seed, but they could have won one of their last two.
That was a too cute moment. That was like, what are you guys doing? Why are you even risking Patrick Mahomes getting hurt here? Fourth and one, why not just run the football? Like, what is going on? So I agree with you, too cute.
And also, you're playing the Falcons. Why are you doing your best trick plays against the Falcons? Well, the Falcons were getting exactly the right amount of cute.
They were nailing the cuteness in the first half. Yeah.
So the Falcons, I think we both had this sense in this game that this was going to be a close one. This might be like a letdown game for the Chiefs because it's the Falcons.
You go in against the Falcons. Yeah, they subwalk.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. You expect to win this game by infinity points if you're the Chiefs.
But the Falcons, I guess they're showing they might be frisky. Might be frisky down the stretch.
Raheem Morris could get the head coaching gig. I don't know.
You know how Arthur Blank, he works. He's like, this guy is in-house.
No, I know. He deserves an interview because he's gotten the Falcons to a point where no one thought they would be, and that's just competent football.
Arthur Blank is a big, this guy knows everybody's name in the facility. They all seem to like him.
It's true. Let's keep him around and see what happens.
Seems like a likable guy. Travis Kelsey broke the record for most yards in a season for a tight end.
Okay. 14-16.
Yeah. What about Matt Ryan? It was George Kittle's record from two years ago.
Right, and it should be his from this year as well, but he got injured. He got hurt.
Asterix on this, Travis. Matt Ryan is definitely the most sackable quarterback.
The most sackable. There was one play today where he did like one and a half spin moves and it looked like a drunk man trying to like barrel roll out of an automobile.
Matt Ryan's entire like offense at this point snap the ball, look to try to throw it to Calvin Ridley, then look to see who can sack him the least hard. Yeah.
That's it. It's the opposite of Ryan Fitzpatrick who's like try to throw it to anybody and then run at the biggest guy that you see.
Just who is going to not hurt me when they inevitably sack me which me which happens like six times a game now all the cute too cute stuff that we've said about the chiefs i still think that they're probably gonna they're gonna like sleepwalk to the super bowl well i guess that's the bills that's actually the only thing you could say about the chiefs at this point is the i actually and and the too cute like it's kind of tongue-in-che I actually agree with you. But the Chiefs, the only way they will lose is if they like sleepwalk for just a little bit too long.
You know what I mean? Like if they get caught just a little bit, because they do kind of play this wire act where it's like, oh, well, they'll just flip the switch and Patrick Mahomes will bail him out. And he does bail him out because he is the best quarterback by a long shot.

But you could see that happening.

Like, oh, shit, it's the second half.

And I guess this is kind of stupid to even say the way they won the Super Bowl.

They basically did this in every single game where they were behind.

But eventually you can get caught.

It's like, oh, fuck.

Oh, that interception did get caught. Now what do we do? We were saying earlier how it was a good thing that the Chiefs lost earlier in the year to the Raiders because then they got a little wake-up call.
They didn't have to worry about all the talk of 16-0 coming down the stretch. I think the Chiefs need to lose again.
I think they need another wake-up call. They hit the snooze button on the season, which took them into Week 17.
I think they need to lose against the Chargers next week. And I think the Chargers could beat them.
I think they probably won't start anyone, so they will. I don't know.
Does that count? Yeah, that counts. Is that still like a wake-up call? Yeah, that counts.
That counts. Who's their backup quarterback? Let's find out.
Chiefs backup quarterback. I don't think that you can Google it.
Oh, no, Chad Henney. Chad Henney.
Okay. Let's go.
Chad Henney. All right.
Yeah all right uh yeah no i think they'll probably lose the charges because they won't try and they'll sit everyone uh all right let's go to the next oh pft i noticed you were wearing an awesome coat today i was you know where it's from is it yep fuck yeah our good friends at express i love express some of uh my favorite friends in high school used to sit directly in front of me in math class wearing Express's really nice black pants. And I could not take my eyes off them.
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Okay.

Next up Browns jets.

Who boy.

So the Browns had no wide receivers.

They had a walk through in the parking garage attached to their hotel.

And it's like,

it was like 30 degrees this morning in New York city.

They're in New Jersey,

but 8 15 AM.

They had a walk through basically Baker Mayfield,

I'm not going to be so old. And it was like 30 degrees this morning in New York City.
They're in New Jersey. But 8.15 a.m., they had a walkthrough, basically Baker Mayfield doing a break the ice with all the wide receivers that he had to throw to.
There was a moment in time, and we can laugh about it now because let's just set the stage here. The Browns control their own destiny.
If the Browns win Week 17, the Browns are in the play playoff doomsday scenario is not there in that case the browns hold it all in their hands there was a situation where the browns could potentially like go 11 and 5 and somehow miss it and be like what the fuck happened no the browns can win and they're in there was a moment though where it was the most browns thing ever to the Jets, to have no wide receivers, to have the Colts up big on the Steelers, and to have that 11-5 doomsday scenario be a very real possibility. Thank God the Colts ended up losing for the Browns' sake because the Browns can now still win and get in.
But, man, that was almost the most Browns thing ever. There was a two-hour window on Sunday afternoon where if you were a Browns fan, you were freaking the fuck out.
You're just checking things off the list. Of everything that you've kept in your worst-case scenario binder for the last two weeks, and it's all happened in slow-mo, and it's all continuing to happen, and you're like, we're just going to be fucked.
We're going to look back on that Raiders game that we played when it was like 11 degrees outside in the grapple, and we're going to be like, damn, we should have won that game. Or are you going to look back at another, like the shit game with Lamar Jackson where he had diarrhea.
You're going to look back on that and be like, if we had just got this one more, then we would be able to control our own destiny. But you're right.
The good news is, I think you win and you're in.

Win and you're in.

No, it's official.

They win and they're in.

You do win and you're in. But then most scenarios have you playing the Steelers the very next week.

That's okay.

In the first round of playoffs.

I don't think the Steelers are going to play.

I don't think the Steelers are going to try.

Oh, you don't think so?

Against the Browns?

I think they've had so many injuries this year.

Why would they risk it?

Because Big Ben is trying to get that title back so that he can be the most winning quarterback at First Energy Stadium. I don't think Mike Tomlin's going to let him.
I don't think Mike Tomlin's going to let Big Ben do that. Why would you risk any injuries in Week 17 when you've kind of limped in? Like, for the Steelers, if you're from the Steelers' perspective, we could actually just do these games in tandem.
The only other note I had from the Browns-Jets game is you probably should extend Adam Gase. Yeah, absolutely.
When he's on the sideline, it's very funny to watch Adam Gase on the sideline because much like Jason Garrett never really coached on the sideline, he was always clapping, Adam Gase is always reading a book. He's like an old man at a baseball game keeping score i don't know what he's writing he's the dude from the professor from the fsu game yeah sitting up in the stands reading a book in a blowout i was gonna say him i was gonna say he's like johnny moxon reading slaughterhouse five inside of his playbook from varsity blues but whatever he's doing and by the way he definitely owns uh what's it called infinite jest yeah he definitely owns infinite jest and it's sitting in a prominent place in his house and he likes when people are like oh infinite jest like yeah you know i picked it up i haven't had time recently i think i'm not saying this because i also have infinite jest and i also have never read it but yes that's what dumb people do is they buy infinite jest and they display it in their home it's actually a genius thing we should bought we should make a book that everyone's like damn this is this is a book like you want to talk about a book this is a fucking but like you listen you listen this is one book i would say that catch 22 is on that list that one's short though you can read no no catch 22 is long oh i'm thinking of um what's the fucking holden caulfield what's that uhye on that.
That one's short. It's basically every book that you said you read in high school.
It's got to be over like 500 pages because no one's reading a book over 500 pages, let's be honest. So you buy it just to have it so people can be like, whoa.
And the best part about having Infinite Jess is no one's actually ever read the book. So when they come over and they see it know like they can't be like oh yeah what's your favorite character from infinite chess because they also haven't read it it's more just a mutual admiration of like we both consider ourselves smart people because we both possess infinite chess he's got the unabridged works of william shakespeare back there he's got every jane austen novel it's the greatest fraud book of all time.
It really is. You know, that was a genius.
That was a genius move to write a book that no one actually was going to read, but everyone respected as the smart guy book. But whatever he's reading on the sideline, it's fascinating to watch him during a game, just like staring down into his own hands all game.
And it's worked.

Listen, the Jets are hot, man.

The Jets are the hottest team in football going right now.

And then can you imagine, can you just imagine for one second

the type of blitzes that Dr. Heat would have drawn up

against a team with no wide receivers?

Yes.

I mean, these are like his two children going head-to-head

against each other.

He probably sat at home like doing it in his mind.

Like, oh, we would have killed Big Wave.

You would have actually killed him.

You know all his weaknesses.

Yeah, but so the Browns, that's a toss-out game.

You got everything in front of you.

That game sucked, but you also got fucked by COVID.

It is crazy, like the Broncos having to play with the guy off the street,

the Lions having to play with no coaches, rescheduling some games but not others, whatever. You got screwed, but it doesn't matter because you can win and get in.
But let's talk about Colts Steelers. Because Colts Steelers, these two games were basically cousins or sisters or brothers.
They were paired together in all playoff implications. colt steelers steel colts were kicking the shit out of the steelers we even said out loud we're like damn the steelers are really really bad like they we've never seen a team go 11 and 0 to 11 and 5 and look this bad then second half happened their defense woke up they decided to start bombing the down the field with big ben up.
And the Steelers, all of a sudden, they still can't run the ball at all. There was a moment, I think, at the end when all they needed was one yard at the midfield, and they punted it because they're like, nope, we can't get this yard.
No chance. You know what? Tomlin's going to watch that film and be like, if you can't get one yard, you don't deserve to win.
And he's just going to tell the guys, in my book, you guys lost last week. That's how I can see the Steelers coming out next week and actually playing hard.
Just running the ball the entire time. But it won't work.
No, it's not going to work. No matter what.
But they're going to be like, we're going to run the ball. They had four yards in the first half.
He's going to get himself into as many fourth-and-one situations as possible next week just to prove to himself we like, we can get one yard eventually. And they probably won't be able to do it.
Like, the Steelers, I tweeted out that they, are they the worst 11-3 team in any sport in history? And I think they still might be. But the second half, the Steelers, they came back.
I feel like the Mariners a couple years ago. Somebody tweeted, I mean, the Mariners did start 11-3.
And then ended up with 68 wins on the season.

So I think that team is probably the worst 11-3 team in the history of sports.

And the Steelers might be second.

Because I don't see the Steelers being able to win the playoffs.

Maybe if they play the Browns at home.

Maybe.

So, I don't know.

They are 1-0 since Juju Smith-Schuster stopped dancing. They are 1-0.
Yeah, unbelievable that we live in a time where there was a press release being like, I've decided for all my teammates and my team, I will stop dancing on TikTok on logos before games. Well, our problem wasn't with the fact that he was dancing.
It was with the problem that his dance sucked. Well, and he was doing it on logos and getting everyone mad.
It was a soft dance. Maybe if it was like a kick-ass team dance and got his team involved and did a mosh pit, then maybe that'd be sick.
Like get the boys amped up and ready to go playing renegade for the stands. Colin Coward has sewered careers for way less than that.
But he was bouncing around like a rabbit on the midfield logo. In that case, yeah, I think you should probably switch to a harder dance.
So back to the Steelers' chances. They do feel very broken.
But that second half, you're watching it and you're like, oh yeah, this is the Steelers. Their pass rush is on fire.
Their defense is playing lights out. Big Ben, they're actually throwing it downfield instead of not being able to run the combo of not being able to run and throwing only short passes really makes you a limited offense so they were bombing it like he kind of had a little pep in his step i don't know i i don't know what to make of the stealers i think they still could be frisky i i don't trust them if big ben stops throwing passes that will get his wide receivers spinal injuries, then yes, they could do something.
But he's like, I don't know what it is about his passes this year. Yeah, he's been throwing hospital passes.
Like little floaters. Yeah.
He's been leading his guys into danger. I guess with their defense, if their defense fires it up, I could see a moment where we wake up and it's like Steelers-Chiefs in the A AFC championship game.
The Steelers are like 10 point underdogs. Yeah.
But I could, if you have a defense that can play that well, I I'll give you a shot against anyone. And the jerseys, the uniforms, right.
And the jerseys, the uniforms and big Ben, like being like, Oh, he's going to fucking, you know, one last ride with big Ben. I'm probably going to bet on the Steelers in the playoffs.
They're probably going to break my heart

and lose dramatically.

But there is something about them that you wouldn't necessarily be surprised

if they won one or two games in the playoffs.

But, I mean, unless the Chiefs are still sleepwalking in a month.

Did you see the Tomlin quote?

The grapes one?

Yeah, it's a fine line between drinking wine and squashing grapes.

He's my baby brown of the week. Yeah.
That's a great quote from Tomlin. Is it's my line between drinking wine and squashing grapes he's my baby brown of the week yeah yeah uh he that's that that's a great quote from is it a fine line i feel like it takes months to make wine after you yeah it is definitely takes a lot of time um the cults well i was getting i was getting harassed online in the first half by cults fans on the internet demanding? Demanding that I respect the Colts as a true Super Bowl contender.
They were like, look at these Colts. We can do it all.
Guess what? The Colts are, as of right now, out of the playoffs. If the Colts don't get some help in Week 17, they will be out of the playoffs.
They need the Ravens, the Dolphins, or the Browns to lose for them to get into the playoffs put the banner up up 21 7 at halftime against the steelers in week 16 i mean you can't like you got to win the game with with with offense they didn't have they had no offense in the second half and i love phil rivers but this is when you have a quarterback that has negative mobility now like if the pass rush starts going it's you know what i mean like it used to always be i look after the giants beat the patriots the super bowl is like well that's the key you just got to get you got to rush with four and you got to get home and then you can beat everyone well yeah that's true but now in today's nfl like there are a lot of quarterbacks that can beat you even if you do get home because they have legs and they can move. Oh, Phillip Rivers definitely has the shortest clock in the pocket.
His pocket clock is like two seconds, and if he doesn't get rid of it, he panics. And he'll either take a sack or he'll just immediately throw it out of bounds.
Calling him statuesque is actually like an insult to statues. Statues have more mobility than Phillip Rivers at point again we love phil rivers we've always been a phil rivers podcast i want him to to get back in the playoffs and i'm i'm conflicted because i think if we had to rank it i think we both agree like brown's getting the playoffs number one yes we want the browns to get the playoffs sorry everyone else but if i had to go number two i think maybe phil rivers getting into the playoffs.
I kind of want Phil Rivers in the playoffs. Yeah, I'd lean Titans.
Okay. Just get the boy in there.
I think they're in. Are they 100% in? I think they're in.
I think it's between the Dolphins, the Ravens, the Browns, and the Colts. I want the Browns to go in number one.
I think I want the Colts to go number two because I do want the Colts to – I want Phil to be in the playoffs I want to see Phil Rivers in a playoff situation I love Jonathan Taylor like I I don't have any ill will against the Colts what I've said about them all year I think it's been very fair they're when they're playing with a lead when they're like everything's humming and they can protect Phil Rivers they look like a really good team but it can it can kind of be like a house of cards pretty quickly. Titans are 94% in.
So, yeah, they're pretty much in. I think they're pretty much in.
So, yeah, Phil Rivers, that was basically doomsday for the Colts, that you have that type of lead. You're rocking and rolling.
You win and you're basically, now you control your own destiny to what the fuck just happened. We lost that game.
How did that happen? It did happen that quickly, too. It felt like we just looked up and boom, the Steelers were winning the game.
You think there was a halftime speech that Mike Tomlin gave or you think it was like a players only meeting at halftime? I think I think Big Ben just walked in and was like, let's just fucking let's just go. I think he might have threatened to retire.
Big Ben might have been like, hey, listen, if we don't make the playoffs this year, I could honestly see Big Ben walking away from the NFL if they lost their last five games. If the Steelers went 11 and 0 and then ended up 11 and 5 limped into the playoffs lost.
I could see Big Ben retiring like for he would retire for what he would say would be for good. Yeah.
And then he'd probably come back in, like, early August and be like,

I'm ready to strap it on one more time.

Do you know what it was?

It's like a parent taking away a cell phone from their kid,

from their teenager, and being like, oh, I'm not going to give it back.

He was doing that with the walking boot at halftime.

He was like, I'm going to put it on.

I'm going to put it on.

And everyone was like, no, Ben, don't.

Please.

We really want to win this game. He's like, if you guys don't start catching my fucking floaters i'm putting this boot on and i'm going home i mean that would work on me yes i'd be like everyone we need i would like to see philip rivers and big ben both for at least one more nfl season you give me it give me that in the playoffs somehow some way uh all right bears jaguars bears kicked the shit out of the jaguars it felt good matt nagy is officially coming back i'm conflicted but i do not care uh the bears scored 30 points 30 plus points in four straight games first time since 1965 to just like make myself feel like shit the packers have done that twice this year yeah four game stretches plus points.
The Bears, the Bears offense is good. Like it's time to, we played some bad defenses.
I'm realistic. I'm being time to, to face the music.
And that's the fact that not only is Matt Nagy coming back, but Mitch Trubisky is going to be there next. I don't, I don't know about that.
I still don't know about that. I think Matt Nagy hates Mitch Trubisky.
And I think that that's more self-loathing where he just can't like vocalize that he hates himself Matt Nagy I'm talking about um no you said it yourself that Matt Nagy is like the most emotional coach in the NFL he's too emotional I bet you Matt Nagy really feels bad for what he's done to Mitch and he looks at Mitch's failure as being like a direct reflection of him as a coach and And the only way that he can feel good about himself, and finally for him to be you again, is if you were to take Mitch and turn him into like an above average quarterback, which he's been the last couple weeks. Listen, I'm taking a realistic, pragmatic approach to this week 17 and to everything that the Bears have in front of them.
I don't think Matt Nagy's a great coach. I truly don't.
I mean, just the fact, I think I said this last week, but just the fact that Nick Foles started as many games as he did behind this offensive line should tell you that Matt Nagy doesn't know how to assess the quarterback situation. Mitch Trubisky is a far better quarterback in these circumstances than Nick Foles.
That's just a fact. I'm happy for Mitch Trubisky.
We still had an all-time Mitch Trubisky interception where I even said it out loud because it was just the two of us all day watching games. And when he turned and scrambled, this was like five seconds before he threw the interception.
I was like, don't throw this, Mitch. Another five seconds went seconds went by more guys got more covered he found a spot on the field where there were the most amount of players and then threw it there i've never seen that many players in one quarter of the end zone in my entire he was playing 500 there were probably yeah there were probably like seven or eight players within maybe like five square yards yes of each other and it was 500 he was throwing up like a jackpot okay and it was a bad...
I don't even know what the concept of that play was because it looked like the entire design was to flow to that corner of the end zone and then have Mitch do exactly what Mitch did. It was baffling.
So I'm not thrilled that Matt Nagy's coming back. It is what it is.
There's nothing that you can do about it. I know the Bears are a flawed football team.
They're a flawed organization.

They're not a great organization.

But if you told me week one that the Bears would be playing in a meaningful football game week 17 to get into the playoffs and be in the playoffs, I'd take it. And that's what being a fan is.
I don't care about all the noise around it. I don't care about the flaws and the dysfunction and the fact that I think that they're broken going forward and they're going to have a hard time like sustaining any time is type of success because they don't have a quarterback they don't have a coach I trust all that garbage throw it out they can get in the playoffs they can get in the playoffs if they win in week 17 or maybe if they lose if the Cardinals lose too but getting in the playoffs like I I know I've seen this like oh why would you want to get in the playoffs and get the shit kicked out of you so that you get a better uh you know a worse draft pick what are you talking about being in the playoffs is all like that's what you root for for a fit you start the season being like let's get into the playoffs get a fucking seat at the table right chip in a chair right unless unless you're like the chiefs or the saints or the packers and it's like well what purpose is there for getting into playoffs because it kicks ass and makes you feel like a winner and it makes you feel who knows makes you feel personally better about yourself crazy shit could happen you know what sucks worse than anything is having a team that you invest an entire year or more into and then having them not get into the playoffs and then you're like well that was that was a wasted year if you do get into the playoffs you feel great you feel great for at least a week and then depending on how bad you get your ass kicked in the first round then you might start to be like once you sober up so right now like if you're if we're comparing this to night out on the town you're on beer number like don't get coward on eight or nine i'm not talking soup I'm talking brewskis and you're on beer eight or nine and you're fucking you're having the time of your life you're dancing like shout just came on you took your shoes off you're getting soulful with it out there and then once you lose in the playoffs that's when you take like you have the long island iced tea towards the end of the night and then you go throw up and you're like i gotta call a cab home and the next you're like fall asleep in the cab yeah you fall asleep on the way home the uber driver he goes the long way and then your phone lose your phone and then like you found out that you got broken up with overnight you wake up the next day and you're like shit you know what um probably shouldn't have gone for that extra round but guess what it was a fun night it was when it was going it was a kick-ass night i agree yeah you might even roll over and you're like oh i don't know who that is and then maybe you're surprised as well it's cody park i did a great job smashed again um but then yeah it's that's why you root for a team is to make the play right you root for the team to make the playoffs and there's there's two camps and people will say that i'm being a hypocrite but i'm not i'll explain it so i call out a lot of teams for I don't trust this team.
I don't think they're a Super Bowl contender. I don't trust the Bucs.
The Bucs are better than the Bears, even though the Bears beat them head-to-head, might I add. The Bears are not a Super Bowl contender.
But once you accept that, I'm officially in, well, crazy shit could happen. I'm in crazy shit could happen mode.
I'm in, who the fuck knows, crazy shit could happen. The ball bounces your way for four straight games.
Who the fuck knows, crazy shit could happen. Let's just have fun.
Enjoy the ride. Is there a more likely than not chance that the Bears get absolutely face fucked in the playoffs? Of course there is.
I would almost put my life on it. But I don't care because I gonna be rooting for crazy shit to happen and that's the fun of it now week 17 I'm very very nervous because I didn't realize until that fucking dork came on NBC and told me that the Packers actually do in fact have to play for the one seed that like ruined my entire mood because now Aaron Rodgers is going going to play and aaron rogers he personally loves to kill the bears he loves to do it i know it i can i can sense it everything he says everything he does i'm very nervous about week 17 yeah i would be too but big it's not prime time listen you're rooting for crazy stuff tozier stuff has happened before.
Like, it would not shock me. It would surprise me.
It would probably make me a little concerned for your well-being. Just thank God it is not a primetime game.
Yeah. That's all I was rooting for is for it not to be primetime because then it wouldn't even have been a choice.
And it gets lost. I know this is kind of loser talk, but I've spent all day going through all the situations.
If the Rams beat the Cardinals, it doesn't matter. The Bears would be in the playoffs.
And I think those games will happen concurrently, so we don't know. I think that the Rams need to sign Blake Bortles.
Get him back up, because right now they're going to go with a guy named Wolford. Wait, is Goff officially out? Goff is probably out because he dislocated his thumb and it might be broken.
But Big Cat, they can still sign Blake Bortles right now. He's on the practice squad.
The Rams need to win to make the playoffs. How amazing would that be if one week you've got George Kittle coming back? Dude, how would George Kittle get signed to be the quarterback for the Rams? George Kittle comes back.
He's like, I love the Bears. I did this for Big Cat.
And then Blake Bortles goes to the Rams. He knows that playbook front and back.
That's all that guy did when he was in Los Angeles was he studied football. He lived it.
He breathed it. And he comes back to the Rams, beats the Cardinals to get you into the playoffs.
And then in his postgame, he's like, I love the Bears. I like what you're saying.
It can happen. I like what you're saying.
Crazier stuff has happened. Why not? has happened why not why not but yeah good for you for not getting the prime time slot that would be a nightmare for whatever team has to yeah we'll get to that um all right giants ravens the giants are somehow still alive somehow someway still alive um and we like this game was on we had all six games on but i feel like i didn't watch any of this game because the Ravens were just kicking the shit out of the Giants from literally the beginning.
The Ravens, do you know the Ravens have rushed for 100-plus yards in 38 straight games? That's insane. Yeah, it makes sense.
That's insane. They're the opposite Steelers.
Who's drag racing? It makes sense. I don't know.
It's like midnight. It's better that than the ambulance.
We'll get the ambulance sirens in a second after these guys. But the Giants were – it's really a game that they expected to lose anyways.
Yeah, no, they're still alive. Really no harm, no foul for the Giants.
The Giants are very much alive in the NFC beast right now. But I actually think that this is – it's good that the Ravens aren't taking up too much of the air right now for the Ravens.
Because having zero expectations going into the playoffs is probably a good place for them to be. I don't know.
You've seen how it goes the other way. I think the Ravens officially have become the team no one wants to play.
Ooh. Yeah.
I think they're the team that no one wants to play. They're the team no one's talking about.
We cast them off and now I think they are officially the team no one wants to play in the playoffs i really do which is a they're a scary team looks like they might be playing probably the titans this is going to make no sense and ravens fans we've had our back and forth but i believe in the ravens far more this year than last year i think that last – Last year, one seed, all the hype in the world, MVP. How can you beat this team? Oh, they lost to the Titans by a billion at home.
This year, no one wants to play them. They're hot at the right time.
I think the Ravens could beat the Chiefs. I think it's the Ravens.
Who knows? The Ravens and the Bills. Who knows? Are the two teams that I would have – It's going to be a fun playoff.
That can actually beat the Chiefs. Yeah, it's going to be fun for sure.
Especially like, depends if the Chiefs get into Chiefs mode from last year and start like, they get woken up every game. That's what happens with the Chiefs.
And they just go down like by 10 points and end up winning 50 to 10. If that doesn't happen again, if they are like a more down-to-earth team, then yeah, the Ravens and the Bills are the two teams that can beat them.
But I would also be a little bit afraid if I were the Ravens about playing the Titans. I just feel like there are scars there.
Yeah, no, absolutely. I just, they're the team no one wants to play.
They're the team no one wants to play. All right, Bengals, Texans, who cares? Who cares? Brandon Allen, good game like the Texans have done a nice thing for the NFL where if you play them you look awesome and you might be able to get some money like Brandon Allen looked awesome yeah Texans defense is that bad uh JJ Watt is making sports writers bust a load with his post-game speech that he gave what he said he was talking about uh how like you if you're a pro in this in this league how can you show up to work and not lift hard and not study hard and not practice hard when you've got guys coming up to you on the street and saying hey we're still here for you we still love you still gonna root for you on sunday he wasn't wrong about anything that he said but it made every sports writer just like bust a severe sticky the stickiest of the nuts into their own under into their own trousers but um the only takeaway that i had besides jj watt's post game was that the bangles the bangles might be saving zach taylor's job yeah oh no i think that i think it's officially done it's saved there they did bangles the bangles might be getting themselves into uh watch out no yeah offseason, offseason dark horse.
Like, look how they finished the season. Oh, they've added a top five pick.
Joe Burrow's going to be back. They might be – people might be talking about the Bengals in August.
I think if Joe Burrow's injury had happened like a month before, he's walking without a limp. He's walking without a limp right now.
He's looking good. But I feel like he's probably – he might not start at the beginning of the season, in which case they wouldn't be the surprise team.
They would be the team like they might get hot. Just watch for that team.
Every year there's a team that finishes strong. It's the Jets.
Yeah, the Jets. Watch out for the Jets next year.
Zach Taylor's job, yeah, I think it is safe. The fact that he won these last couple games is huge.

But just like the Bengals' ownership, they don't like coaching searches.

It's expensive.

You have to fly guys in and out of town, set them up in hotels.

They just got a practice field two years ago.

Right.

So they don't want to go through that whole time again.

They are what we call cheap.

Yes.

A cheap organization.

All right.

Before we get to the next one, PFT, have you been driving recently? I have been driving. You have.
I've been driving. I've been driving and making sure that I'm sober when I'm driving, especially around the holiday time.
Around the holidays, NHTSA, they're warning you, drive sober or get pulled over. From December 16th through January 1st, I'm talking to all the people on New Year's.
You might be driving to a friend's house. You might be on the roads.
Don't drink and drive. No matter what you do, make sure that you're sober.
Make sure that you have a sober ride. We want all you guys to get around safe during the holiday season.
Drive sober or get pulled over. Law enforcement officers across the U.S.
are increasing their enforcement on impaired drivers. They're giving you a heads up.
They're telling you they're going to be there. They're like, hey, guys, we're going to be out on the roads.
We're going to be looking for you if you've been drinking. There's no excuse to drink and drive.
Drive sober or get pulled over. If you feel different, you drive different.
So don't drive buzzed. Don't drive high.
If you drive high, you get a DUI.

Drive sober or get pulled over.

We want all the AWLs to have a happy and safe holiday season.

That means getting a safe ride somewhere.

That means passing up on the drink if you're going to be driving.

So be safe out there.

Look after each other.

Don't get a DUI.

We will be personally disappointed in you if you get a DUI. And also- We're banning you from the show.
We'll absolutely suspend you from the show. And a fun little fact, maybe 10 years down the line, if one of your friends is getting married and they're going on a bachelor party up in Canada, you won't be allowed into Canada.
Because if you have a DUI, a lot of times they won't let you go visit Canada. They won't let you into the country.
If your buddies are going to Montreal for God knows what, you might be turned away at the border. Didn't happen to me, but it happened to a friend of mine.
So be safe out there, look after each other, and get home safe. Okay, next up, Broncos Chargers.
Also, who cares? Who cares about this game? Jerry Judy, you... I'm going to say something nice about Drew Locke.
Jerry Judy fucked over Drew Locke. Jerry Judy is also an impossible name to say without sounding like you're drunk.
Jerry Judy. Jerry Judy.
Jerry Judy. He 15 targets, six catches.
He dropped like a couple easy ones. Can't do that when Drew Locke is having hard enough time.
Now I'm saying saying something mean about drew lock yeah having hard enough time completing passes uh you can't be dropping them and vic fangio's back so i liked hearing that because i do think he's a good well he's not great head coach but i think he is no we've established yeah yeah no he's a great defensive head incredible defensive coach kind of stinks at okay. Kind of stinks at some of the other stuff.
I like teams giving their guys at least three years. I think two years is always a little quick.
Yeah. Three, you kind of know what you got.
There's some times where it's the second year. You can tell for sure sometimes after that second year.
Yeah, well, I mean, that was Mark Trestman. Yeah, Mark Trestman.
You knew. You knew.
You didn't want him back. You totally knew.
To, like, give him more time to implement his system. But they haven't, they, unless you are at the helm of an absolute clown show, like Mark Trestman was, like Vic Fangio, they've had some injuries.
They haven't been a clown show. They've been competitive in games.
They haven't had any internal fighting. So, yeah, why not? Keep them for another year.
Yeah, sure, bring it back. The Chargers, by the way, have put together a couple wins.
The Chargers have looked, like, sneakily competent. Which they almost lost this game.
This was a game where you looked up. I even said that out loud.
I was like, what the fuck just happened? Because the Chargers were in cruise control, and then all a sudden you look up and they need a drive to win the game. Also, McManus had the new double doink.
He doinked. Back to back.
He doinked. There was a five-yard penalty re-kick.
Doinked again. That's very rare.
Almost impossible to do. Off the same post Yeah, I tweeted this, and you got tagged in a lot of them, and I said I fucking hate all kickers on Saturday, I think.
There's something about watching nonstop football for like five days straight where it just feels like every kick is missed. Kickers are the worst.
We are awful people. We're terrible human beings.
We think that we've got a very important job, and we get paid a lot of money to do it. If you were to make a football team, they would pay you a lot of money.
And, yeah, we suck. All of us suck.
Every kicker except for Justin Tucker sucks. Pretty much.
And sometimes he sucks too. Even Young Ho Ku.
Yeah. He was awesome.
And then he sucked at it. What was his? Young Ho Ku? Young Ho.
Young Way Ku. What's his name? Young Way? Yeah.
Young Way. Bubba.
Young Way.

I thought it was Young Ho.

It's Young Ho.

Whoa.

I think I was right.

I don't know.

Am I pronouncing it?

I know how it's spelled.

I get that.

Is it Young Way?

I think it's Young Way Koo.

Oh, well, I'm a phonetic speaker.

You are.

You're a big reader.

Yeah.

On closed captioning, it says Young Ho.

Is it Young?

It's Young Way. I think.
Well, this is jake can't take any days off god damn it that's how that's how you say it but yeah the bottom line is every kicker sucks we all suck occasionally we'll kind of wake up and and have a good moment but it's just like pauses in our sucking that take you out of that focus so i agree with you kickers suck young way young oh i guess i've been saying it wrong my bad my apologies let's see if jake marsh is awake facetime wow if he if he doesn't get this right away because i mean i'm an idiot and i don't pretend i can't i can't fucking say alvin camara's name is it not camara it's camara and i always i i get in my own head i'm like don't say hey how do you say the kicker from atlanta's name young way okay i say young ho so agree to disagree yeah it's definitely young way yeah but i say young ho so agree to disagree agree to disagree okay how do you say the running back for the chiefs clive edwards E-Lair. Okay, nice.
All right. Thanks, Jake.
Wow. Why did you – your pronunciation shamed me? No, just – it sounded at first like you said, Yohuha Ku.
It sounded like you were trying to pronounce Indomitian Su's name in piglet. That one I can't do either.
And, yeah. But you were right.
You're right about the kickers. Listen, I'm not going to be the guy who's out here trying to pretend like kickers are cool just because I have kicked something in my life.
They suck. We suck on behalf of all kickers.
And you know what? We're not going to apologize for sucking. That's fine.
That's just what we do. I don't need an apology.
I just want to say it. I just want to say it.
I don't need an apology. I'd actually prefer not to get an apology.
Yeah, because guess what? Because then I'd have to be nice. If kickers apologize, then we wouldn't suck.

Yeah, well, and I'd also have to be like, oh, you apologize.

I feel bad.

All right, next up, Panthers, Washington football team.

Whoops.

Yeah, you know what?

We control our own destiny.

That's true.

I got a statistic for you.

Yeah?

Five.

You know what five is?

Five wins away from a Super Bowl.

There you go.

Five wins from a Super Bowl.

We win five games. That's all we got to do.
Same with Bears. Bears have won.
Well, I know you lost six games in a row. You haven't won five games in a row this season.
No. To start, what was that? Five and one.
Five and one. Correct.
So it could happen. We just have five wins.
Five wins to go, and we're there. Today was awful.
Today was like Dwayne Haskins. He's so bad.
He might be the worst quarterback in the NFL. Well, he's bad and hateable.
I'm talking about starters. I'm talking about backups.
Yeah. He's bad.
He's hateable. But, hold on.
He probably should get his captain C back because him walking out there to support Heineke, which was very bizarre. Everyone's like, is he coming back in the game? You know what I think he did? I think he was trying to do the thing where he's like, you know what? If you're the real starter, you can run out onto the field and take your spot back.
And if they believe in you, then Taylor Heineke will agree to go to the bench calmly and let you throw for that fourth and 18. I think he was trying to sub himself back in.
And Heineke, a guy that we just pulled off the practice squad last week, was like, no, go sit back down. He's like, yes, I will.
I will go sit back down. He stinks.
Dwayne Haskins, he is very bad. I would rather have Heineke.
I would rather have Josh Johnson. Anyone.
Mark Sanchez. Anyone.
All of these Washington football team legends. Yeah, hell yes.
Give me P.J. Walker.
Dude. I would rather have Alex Smith on one leg, not allowed to use his second leg.
Jack Prescott on one leg. In a rascal scooter motoring around there.
Yeah, no. He looked so bad in the first half.
As someone, you know, my team is kind of fucking, kind of an offensive juggernaut as of late, but as someone who's watched some very bad offensive football, it's not your fault. It's the worst.
It is the worst thing to watch a defense be so goddamn good and the offense just not help whatsoever. Chase Young is so good that I'm shocked when he doesn't get a strip sack.
I'm like, what happened?

Why didn't he get a strip sack on this play?

It felt like a disappointment in the first quarter

when he didn't get much pressure,

and then he starts making a name for himself in the second quarter.

But, yeah, it's like, what happened?

How did they make Chase Young disappear?

The defense is fucking dominant.

I wish that there were a way for Chase Young to play quarterback also

and to have all those guys on the line be offensive linemen at times.

You know what? Put Logan Thomas in a quarterback. he got drafted by the cardinals to be a quarterback it wouldn't he would not have been worse than duane haskins was and the football team's not built to come from behind we're not no we don't have an offense and you we're meant we're more meant to um observe from behind much like the pictures of duane haskins that surf go backwards whenever you need to go forwards.
Yeah. I've noticed that because I've watched too much Washington football team.
We can throw for like two-yard gains. No, but every time you need like that play that Dwayne Haskins came out to kind of pump up Taylor Heineke, I think it was fourth and goal from like the 20.
Yeah. You guys always go backwards in crucial spots.
We do. But Heineke looked good coming off the bench.
So I feel like it's got to be Heineke. Granted, it was against probably a very soft pre-event defense at the time.
But he looked okay. He looked way better than Haskins.
You know what you need to do is you need to – the Washington football team needs to like like treat week 17 which is sunday night football which is scary so the nfc east is crazy because the eagles or sorry the giants and the cowboys play winner of that game can go in the playoffs if the washington football team loses yeah one of those teams can go to the playoffs at six and 10 if the washington football loses. I think the Washington football team should treat Week 17 like a bullpen game.
They should just be throwing the quarterbacks out there for drives at a time. Empty the tank.
Whatever happens. Yeah, like if he gets hot, he stays.
If they punt, next guy. And just be like the Tampa Bay Rays.
Yeah, absolutely. Why not? Why not? It worked out well for them.
Yeah. Perfect for them.

Listen, I am not opposed to any of these things.

I think we have any number of options who are not named Blaine Haskins.

The whole time.

Yeah, dude, run Chase Young out of the Wildcat.

Probably be better.

He's got good ball security.

He'll be fine.

I think, also, if I'm the Eagles, I'd probably bench Jalen Hurts in Week 17.

Throw Carson Wentz out there.

Oh, you don't want that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Why?

You've got to see what you have in the future for Carson Wentz.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He might be the guy.

Oh, you don't want that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Why? You've got to see what you have in the future for Carson Wentz. No, no, no, no, no, no.
He might be the guy. No, no, no, no, no.
You think Carson Wentz comes in and plays the game of his life? The next game Carson Wentz plays will be his best game ever. I don't think so.
Whether it's Week 17 or Week 1 next week, he has so much pent up, like everyone doubts me, everyone hates me. You do not want Carson Wentz playing that game..
I think that Carson Wentz comes in plays the most Carson Wentz game. No, he if he plays in this game, I think he sacks himself into the into the pylon.
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah. If he if he plays in this game, he will be lights out.
All right. Well, maybe he starts now you're starting to make me doubt my own coping mechanism.

You do not.

Think about it this way.

The Eagles have nothing to play for. Carson Wentz has everything to play for.

You don't want that.

Is that a possibility?

He's hurt, right?

I think he might be a little banged up.

You do not want

the guy who got benched who now is playing for every season. He's playing for his future.
You don't want that BFD. No, no.
No. No.
All right. Well, Hurts scares me more than Carson Wentz.
I think Hurts is obviously a much better quarterback right now than Carson Wentz. I don't think that.
Here's the thing, Big Cat. I don't think that Carson Wentz's attitude right now and his will is the problem because Carson Wentz has been trying very hard for the last year.
It's just that the more he tries, the worse he gets. Yeah, but I – Like Carson Wentz playing when he's cool as a cucumber.
You want Jalen Hurts in this game. You want Jalen Hurts in this game.
Because Jalen Hurts is like... No, I've talked myself back into it.
No, dude. Carson Wentz has everything in his...
He's going to be thinking about his fucking unborn kids being like, I'm playing for you. Yeah, but Chase Young...
I don't know if he's a dad. Chase Young's going to look at him and be like, remember when we pushed this guy's shit in week one? And they're going to do it again.
Carson Wentz will play his fucking balls off. Carson Wentz plays his worst when he's playing his balls off.

When he tries to do too much, he's like throwing submarine interceptions.

Because Doug Peterson's got nothing to lose, too.

So he's going to be like, fuck it.

Let's just open up the playbook for you, Carson.

And Jalen Hurts, let's go to the Eagles-Cowboys game.

Jalen Hurts is a work in progress.

That was the Eagles looked awesome. And then they sucked.
then they sucked sucked and Andy Dalton might be back yeah is Andy Dalton back he looks good um I think you're bearing the lead really on this story which is that Mike McCarthy smashed another watermelon I didn't want to bring it up because I'm now 0-2 in my life with Mike McCarthy watermelon game I have several questions about the watermelons this fucking guy smashing watermelons and beating me. I've lost so much fucking money to these stupid watermelons.
If Mike McCarthy smashes another watermelon before next week, guess what? The football team's definitely losing, and the Cowboys are definitely winning, and they're getting in. That's how the watermelon math works.
Because I suspect what happened was when Mike McCarthy smashed that watermelon before the Vikings game, I think it came out later in the news that he did that. He got a bunch of people being like, hey, Mike McCarthy, you're not a fat slob.
Like, you're kind of a genius. And he was like, you know what? I am a genius.
Then he goes to the store and he stocks up on watermelons. Because watermelons are out of season, right? You can't go to the store and get a fresh watermelon.
It doesn't matter. Smashing watermelons are different.
He probably... They don't need them for taste.
I don't think you can get one at the store. I think he went to the store and stocked up on watermelons.
He could paint a pumpkin. And has an entire corner of his garage, maybe an entire room in his house that his wife is mad at him for, that's just ceiling to floor, stacked with watermelons, because he's like, if I have to give a spark to my team, this is the one thing that I know how to do.
Watermelons work. I think Joe Judge, if Joe Judge is smart, he spends all week not preparing for the Cowboys but buying every single watermelon in the New York area.
And I will help. I will help because I hate these watermelon games.
I've lost so much money to the fucking watermelons. And the fact that they told us at halftime, they come out of the fucking halftime.
They're like, yeah, breaking news. Mike McCarthy smashed another watermelon.
God fucking damn it, dude. I can't win when the coach smashes a watermelon on the night before the game.
I cannot. There's a 0% chance of beating a watermelon team.
Like, they beat the Vikings. They beat the fucking Eagles.
And the Cowboysboys suck and two of their five wins this year six wins a third of their wins are watermelon wins yeah it's bullshit i'm telling you he's gonna do the watermelon again i he's gonna fly with a watermelon he's gonna put it under his shirt and he's gonna he's gonna look like he's pregnant going through security and they're gonna be like sir what is that he's like i'm with child and you know what'm with child. And you know what? Please don't judge me.
And he's going to bring it up to New York. He's going to smash another watermelon, and the Cowboys are going to win.
The worst part is I can actually see it. I can visualize the room.
Mike McCarthy talking to the boys before the big game on a Saturday night, and I can feel the energy, and I can see Mike McCarthy fumbling around underneath the table in some like Marriott dining hall. And then just boom, watermelon on the table and the place erupts.
And then he smashes it and the place erupts again. And it's like the most electric moment ever.
Fucking Mike McCarthy. You think it's seedless? Goddamn watermelon.
I don't think it matters i i i think it's seedless i think it's absolutely because i don't think mike mccarthy could smash a seeded watermelon it's like and he's right the best coaches of all time lombardi belichick gallagher i'm telling you i'm telling you this is going to end poorly if he smashes another one so yes if you if you know anyone that sells watermelons or harvest them do not we should put up pictures of mike mccarthy at every watermelon stand in the tri-state area be like do not sell to this man i hate this guy can't beat can't oh and two in watermelon can't beat it i bet way too much on watermelon uh it was unbeknownst to myself it was nice to see deshaun jackson yeah we can get everyone yelling like don the ball, dude. He caught one pass for like 85 yards, got behind the defense.
I looked at it. I thought it was a replay of Deshaun Jackson from 2009.
I was like, oh, holy shit. They're showing this.
No, 20 years from now, Deshaun Jackson will come in, catch an 85-yard pass, and then immediately hurt his abdomen or something and be like, well, he's out for the next 10 weeks. Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty good gig good gig and to be honest with you i kind of understand where he's coming from not wanting to score and to like stretch that last yard out for as long as you can because everything that happens after you score is anticlimactic right like it's not you no longer have that rush it's good so like yeah he's just addicted to edging he just loves edging so much and then he'll do it for like, five seconds.
Then he gets in and it's like, okay, I guess I have to go back to the bench now and probably not catch another touchdown for the next five years. Yep.
But that last yard has got to be electric. It was awesome.
Eagles secondary is so bad. Actually, that, so going back to the Washington football team, because these games are also paired, I feel pretty good for your chances just because the Eagles secondary secondary is that bad like that they showed that one stat of that one guy it was brutal it would be nice it's like 150 yards against them yeah it'd be nice if we had a quarterback that could throw a ball into the secondary man so how are you what do you say in your confidence level i just like a two i will we'll be on a live stream on sunday night i'm gonna bet on i'm gonna bet on the washington football team in solidarity i'll be honest carson wentz plays then you're getting face fucked i'll be honest i have no idea what's going on with alex smith we need we do need somebody to break down exactly what's happening with his leg i don't know i don't know what's like it's his bad leg yeah no he's having calf cramps okay yeah someone was explaining today that it was like the muscle that they grafted onto the front of his leg that's now cramping up.
None of that sounds good. Nope.
I need like a TV chef to break it down because it sounds like they're talking about like a cow's meat. Right.
In which part is – I need Guy Fieri being like the calf has just fallen off the bone kemosabe. It's out of balance flavor because like there's no injury specialist that can tell me, except for probably his own doctor, what's happening.
But if it's not Alex Smith, if it's like Taylor Heineke, my confidence level is at a two. Okay.
That's out of three. And Dwayne Haskins is one.
Dwayne Haskins is negative five. Yeah.
For the yards that he goes backwards. Yes.
And then Logan Thomas, probably a.5 wildcat, wildcat back up to a two. And then you've got Montez.
We've got a Steven Montez, a rookie, and he'd probably be at about a 1.5. So I'm not feeling very confident at all.
Oh, if there's a watermelon involved, just like, just fuck me. Just fuck me.
Just shove the watermelon up my ass.

Save me some time.

Save you a whole mess that you're going to have to clean up in that hotel, Mike McCarthy.

Just stick it right up my ass instead and call it a day.

I want to go to the watermelon game.

I want to go see it.

I want to see what is the bane of my existence.

I forgot.

I liked Steve Montez at Colorado.

I liked him. Yeah.
I mean, he'd be the first mexican-american starting quarterback in the nfl i think i don't think that's i think it is is it bringing not guess what washington football team least racist franchise in the nfl there it is boom what about jeff garcia fuck mark sanchez fuck we always forget mark sanchez

and tony romo wait is he mexican yeah oh that's crazy yeah you thought he was italian yeah i thought it was like a mike tariko situation no no he's yeah jim plunkett it's been a lot but that you know what fuck it that was that was wrong with me it's the first ever first ever yeah there you go you go. You got it.
You got it. All right.
Last up, Rams, Seahawks. Jared Goff had to pop his own thumb back in, so why doesn't everyone shut the fuck up about him not being good? Agreed.
That's really all I got. And this is, I mean, Blake Bortles can save your life.
That's huge too. And I'm mad because sometimes you get a take right, but you time it wrong.

I timed my Seahawks defense going to turn a corner take wrong.

I did it like somewhere in the middle of the season.

They had a couple more games where they gave up a shitload of points.

I think the Bills game.

They have officially turned a corner.

The Seahawks defense has five straight games now

where a team has scored 20 points or fewer against them, and the Rams didn't score a touchdown. Like, the Seahawks have gone, they're kind of in the Ravens category of, we forgot about them because their defense was so bad, and they had a couple stinkers in there.
They now, especially the fact that they could get the one seed. They flipped seed they flipped the switch and well to be fair to their defense yes they stunk at the beginning of the year they've seemed to have flipped the switch but they've also played some pretty shitty offenses except for the los angeles rams yeah with a hurt jared goff well the jets are in hyperdrive dude well i think it's fair to ask did Jets give the blueprint to beating the Rams? It was a big-time blueprint game.
Yeah, no, this is a dumb thought, but I've actually crossed my mind. Like, what's stopping – I guess the government is the answer to this, but just go with me here for a second.
What's stopping a team from going, like, last second, fuck them up, all all fans in the stadium like what if the seahawks are in the nfc what if the seahawks get the one seed nfc champions flash mob don't tell anyone and then boom you show up and they're like you know what we know this is risky but we want to go to the super they can't arrest all of us and it would be it would i, they would win the game. Because I do think that, like, players and teams aren't used to fans, that it would be a shock to the system.
A lot of states have exemptions for religious activities. So if you were to call it the Church of the Twelves.
Yeah. Get everybody to show up.
That has crossed my mind that, like, some team could just pull that out last second and be like, oh, well, guess what? Packed house, loud as fuck. Like, Rodgers, I mean, his entire game is cheating at this point.
What would he do? I think you can tweet out a flash mob and just arrange for people to show up. Yeah.
I think whatever the Chargers have is contagious and the Rams have caught it. That's my theory that I'm working with because the play towards the end of the game where

the Rams put the ball down and the Seahawks picked it up and started running with it.

The guy didn't get touched on the Rams.

That was a play that the Chargers would make.

Yes.

That was absolutely, I can spot a Chargers play from anywhere.

That's a Chargers play.

There were a bunch of plays actually in this game that remind me very much of something that the Chargers would have done. The Rams have kind of taken on that personality of the roommate.
I don't know what it is. I don't like it.
And I guess maybe the Chargers have taken on some of the Rams' personality. Swung the other way on it.
It's crazy that the Colts and the Rams could not make the playoffs, and you would, you know, a couple weeks ago have been like,

those are two teams that are going to be a tough out.

I think the Rams will still make it.

Yeah, no, but there's a way that they cannot.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, no, I do too, but who's starting for quarterback?

And hopefully their defense can shut down.

I mean, I don't trust the Cardinals right now.

That game's going to be weird.

I'm going to take the under in that game right now. Well, yeah, if it's Wolford against the Cardinals.
Yeah, just the way that those two teams are playing and knowing each other very well. I don't know.
That's just a... I want the Rams in the playoffs.
Not at the Bears' expense. Not at the Bears' expense.
Wait, no. No, if the Rams win, you're good, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes. I want the Rams very bad in the playoffs.
Correct, correct, correct, correct. No, but if the Bears lose and the Cardinals win, the Rams would go to the playoffs.
So that would be the Bears' expense. I want the Bears in the playoffs, and also the Rams can come along, too.
I'm excited for these playoffs. I hope they stick with seven teams.
Because it does feel just, I don feel just, I don't know. Well, people out there that are complaining about, oh, we're going to get a mediocre team into the playoffs.
Guess what? It's more football. Yeah.
You are actively rooting against more. I want you to know for your own sake, so you can hear it out loud, what you are advocating.
And that's one less NFL football game. Right.
So just so you know, we're on the same page here. If you're still comfortable with that position, then I guess do you, but you and I, we will go on different paths at that point.
Correct. I mean, I've been watching every bowl game.
I don't know how people don't watch every bowl game. Coastal Carolina losing was – I ended up hating that team.
I don't know why. I think it was because they just faked injuries all the time.
But, yeah, I ended up hating that team. That was a weird ending, too.
All right, let's do Football Guy of the Week and Who's Back of the Week, and we'll send everyone on their way. Baby Brown of the Week, because it's only you and I and Bubba here, Billy and Jake and Hank, they all get a vacation.
We're here because we wouldn't miss a show. So just if you're looking for like, hey, who's the hero of this podcast? Well, we just named the three.
It's three of us. Bubba, take a bow.
Yeah, Bubba, take a bow. Yep.
Three of us that will work no matter what. Everyone else, like whatever.
I'm not vacation. Billy has worked very hard this year.
Yeah, Billy's worked really hard. Billy actually sent us an animal fact.
Like, he sent us one line and was like, boom, my job's done. He probably said to the people, I think he's with his family, he probably was like, hey, guys, I got a little work I got to do today.
Going to need a few hours. And then he sat in his room playing Call of Duty and then at the very end sent us a half-ass popsicle stick animal that was like he was probably just googled animal facts or just typed it in the twitter search i'm actually going to look it up on twitter billy and see if he steals this from anybody billy's not listening to the show right now is he no chance no well he might be because you gave him credit earlier i did yeah somebody might tell him to listen wait when i give him oh the swag thing yeah yeah all right uh so baby brawn we'll just do your baby brawn well baby brawn was gonna be mike tomlin for me because of the wine comment i would also say whatever is currently inside uh lars's uterus would qualify as a baby brawn yes okay yes that so so that will be our baby brawn of the week let's see how his parlays did.
Oh, he had Jets' money line.

Okay.

He had Jets' money line, Broncos' money line, Titans' money line.

All right.

Let's do football guy of the week.

Football guy of the week.

So we have four.

Jake Marsh sent us.

Jake Marsh did a lot more than Billy.

No surprise.

Football guy of the week nominees.

Giants head coach Joe Judge leading up to Sunday's Ravens game.

He said, with all due respect, let's forget about Christmas.

That was pretty funny.

I like that.

Ohio State OC tight end coach Kevin Wilson said he was stuck in the office

and missed out on his 25th anniversary with his wife by tweeting,

missed out on a great night with my lovely bride, got some great triple option plays. I love it.
I love it. She knows what she signed up for.
The fact that he's a triple option coach is so much better. Yes.
The fact that, like, some great new triple option. There hasn't been a new triple option play in 50 years.
Listen, she knows. She knows that when you're the coach's wife you know you get you get to call the plays at home but if he's staying in the in the uh facility he's still calling the plays that's how it works uh hall fame coach bill cower when tweeting about the unfortunate passing of kevin green he said heaven just got better on defense that was such a great quote yeah and listen to to Bill Cowher today talk about just the NFL in general and hearing his – like he hasn't been in Pittsburgh in, what, 15 years? He's a name, by the way.
He's trying to float his name out there. Yeah.
Bill Cowher is a great name to float out there. He's back out there.
He's like a retread coach that's going to come back. He still has the most perfect Pittsburgh accent.
Yeah. It's beautiful to listen to.
But that's such a great, heaven just got better on defense.

Mm-hmm.

Heaven just got better.

I always like it when they accidentally.

Heaven just got,

heaven's going to start,

is going to switch to the 4-3.

I love it when they toss out,

like they accidentally use the word hell

because they can't get out of their football vernacular.

They're like,

heaven just got a hell of a defensive end.

Wouldn't want to be a quarterback in heaven right now. Kevin Green just passed.
All right. And then Titans center Ben Jones did not let a Green Bay snowstorm stop him from walking out on the field barefoot and saying a prayer to honor his brother, which he does before every game.
I was going to make fun of it and then the prayer thing. Very nice.
Yeah. Yeah, that's very nice.
That is a football. It's a very football guy thing to do to see bad weather and be like less close and manly.
All right. So those are our football guys of the week.
We'll tweet it out. I don't know how Kevin Green doesn't win this.
The Bill Cowher quote. That is just such a great.
Like that. Bill Cowher.
That's the eulogy. That's it.
He's just up in heaven beating the shit out of the autogram. Someone's actually pissed because they were going to do Kevin Green's eulogy and Bill Cowher just stole their finishing line.
That was going to be the final line of the eulogy that brought down the house. It would be sick though because we don we don't know what heaven is if you just get up there.
What do you mean? It's the All-22. But if the thing that you – it's snow football is what heaven.
If you get up there and your job was just to be super violent, you get to go up there and just start kicking the shit out of everybody because it makes you happy, right? Yes, yes. All right, so vote for Football Guy of the Week, Football Guy of the Week.
We will tweet it. We will blog it, Football Guy of the Week.
All right, let's finish up the show. Who's back the week? Brought to you by our friends at McDonald's.
The McRib is officially back. It's the most important sandwich of the year.
The McRib is officially back and available for a limited time at participating McDonald's. PFT, I've seen him eat it every single week.
I've had one. I loved it.
The McRib is delicious. It's also, you feel like you're doing something special when you eat the McRib.
You don't know when the next time you're going to get that McRib might be. Right.
So it feels special when you, when you eat that McRib, uh, because it is limited time and it is such a popular sandwich. People have driven over state lines to get their McRib because it's not available in their area.
One guy started a McRib Finder that told people where the McRib is available and when, and some have decided to find ways to make their own McRib when it isn't available. It's not just a sandwich.
It's a cultural phenomenon. That's why it's – I think that's why it's so delicious.
It's a lifestyle. Because you can the culture yeah i do taste culture right it's like holy shit i have two cultures this isn't just the sandwich this is something that people lust for that you can't get all the time mcdonald's is genius i dreamed about the mcrib last week and they take it away from you and they take it away and then we say hey wait we want more mcrib and then every now and then they're like hey it's mcriib time everyone loses their mind I tried to make my own one time yeah didn't work out nope you can't you have to get McRib at McDonald's limited time only available for a limited time at participating McDonald's check to see if your local McDonald's has McRib if it doesn't complain complain and complain it probably won't do anything you know what tag in a tweet.
I'll help you. I'll help you get the McRib.
I'll do whatever I can because I have a blue checkmark. So I'll do whatever I can because you need the McRib.
McRib is officially back at McDonald's. Thank you to McDonald's for sponsoring Who's Back of the Week, the McRib, always.
All right, Bubba, let's finish up the show. What do you got?

My who's back is our boy Chet Hanks.

Oh, booyaka, booyaka.

Yeah.

So I saw he's doing a 60-day challenge where we're improving our mind, body, and soul.

Oh, I'm in. Yeah, I don't really know what that pertains, but'm assuming we're gonna get some workout stuff some life advice some motivation yeah it sounds good to me yes where do i sign up for this and how much um i don't know the only bad news is we're gonna be starting on day three what do you mean he started he started on saturday that's actually which is a wild No, that's a good move.
That's good.

I started.

All right. So my who's back is kind of related.
We're doing hard bodies in 2021. Yeah.
Two years ago, it was the year of the core. This year was 20 pushups, 20 squats every single day for 2020.
2021, hard bodies. What does that mean? We're just going to get hard.
Hell yeah. However you want to get hard, get hard.
I'm in. By the end of 2021, you will be able to bounce a quarter off my abs and ass.
I'm in. I need to get my back hard first.
Dude, it's everything. We're going to have a hard mindset.
Yeah, what about mine? That's the thing. Yes.
Does the mindset grow the hardness from the inside out? Dude, it's all going to be like people are going to look at us and they'll be like, these aren't soft podcasters. These are fucking hard ass men.
Last of the hearts. You know what? We're the first of the new hearts.
Correct. Of the next generation of being hard.
We're going to be. So join me.
Anyone who's trying to better themselves. We're doing a little runway diet from tomorrow, Monday or today, Monday to Thursday.
Monday is not going to work for me. No, it's a.
Listen, this is what you want to get hard. I'm telling you, I'm being honest.
I'm giving you a hard mindset right now. It's a pre diet.
So this is going to be the you're going to shock your body for the next four days to try to prepare yourself for January 4th. That's when we start.
But this is just a pre-diet to be like, hey, maybe things are going to be changing around here in the old tummy. I'm going to have a hard time falling into any sort of diet when the Bills are playing Monday Night Football.
Right off the top, that's an issue with me? All right, just think about it. Maybe do a salad for lunch.
Okay. Last night, my dinner was two sleeves of crackers, a block of cheese two ice cream cones that's hard that's soft no that's soft that's paleo no that's soft i need to get hard okay so we're gonna get hard bodies in 2021 i'm gonna get hard during the day tomorrow i'll be hard perfect just just shock your body i'm gonna get a little soft do me a favor next, shock your body in some way.
Let it know that shit's about to get real around here on January 4th or shortly thereafter. Does Chet Hayes have any sort of slogan or name for his system, his wellness system? No, we need to work on that.
Hit him up. Hit him up.
No, hard body is gone. I've taken that.
Jamaican me hard body. No, don't get it confused.
Ch chet hayes is a soft body i might do it i might do a meld is hard chet is so hard dude are you kidding me i'm gonna get a tattoo part of my hard body 2021 chet has a ton yeah i know i'm gonna catch up all right he can't he he has like his whole body's covered in tattoos i'm a canvas. Which would you rather be? Probably Chet Hayes.
Yeah. No.
Fuck that. Chet's a man.
I'd rather be Chet. Yeah, Chet is fucking sweet.
Fuck that. That dude kicks ass.
Isn't his dad like a – never mind. Who's his dad? What? I'm fucking with you.
Okay. I thought you – You sly dog.
God damn it, dude. You got me.
You're good. You're good, you.
All right, PFT PFT You're who's back My who's back of the week Is the Lowman Trophy Yes We have the finalist For the Lowman Trophy We teased it last week We said Jacoby Buchanan From Army The Buchanan Ball He was our first finalist He's nominated The other nominees are Torrey Carter from LSU.

I think he's been nominated twice before.

This is the third nomination for Torrey Carter from LSU.

Oh, he's a bridesmaid, never the bride. We also have Mason Stokey from Wisconsin.

Stoke, yeah.

Ben Mason.

We got a couple Masons out there.

Ben Mason from Michigan.

He's a recurring winner of the Lone Man Trophy.

And then finally, we've got three Mons holy shit mason wake oh wow from byu yep so we've got three masons that's spooky jacoby picanon and then tory carter those are the nominees as voted on by our esteemed low man council uh shout out to chevy the chevy silverado the official sponsor of the low man trophy and uh the official sponsor of fullbacks everywhere for putting this all together we're very excited we will be announcing the winner of the low man trophy I believe um right before the Heisman trophy yes we're gonna sneak in there and steal some thunder from Trevor Lawrence so again it's Kobe Buchanan, Torrey Carter, Mason Stokey, Ben Mason, and Mason Wake. That's incredible.
Let's go. Mason, the name of fullbacks.
The name of Chevy Silverado's, too. Chevy Silverado, the toughest, grittiest truck in the biz.
I love it. It's going to be a great night.
Magical night. We always do the pigs in a blanket.
Well, no. We do the chicken wings.
Shit, what?

Dude, that's hard.

All right, so January 6th.

I said, if you go back and you listen to the tape, I said January 4th or shortly thereafter.

What about cheat day?

Well, no, I'm saying shortly thereafter is January 6th.

Okay.

So we're good.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

I always put the shortly thereafter in there as a legal loophole to get me out of my own diet.

Very smart.

All right. Should we do a number? Should we fake it and say that we got it right? 69.
thereafter in there as a legal loophole to get me out of my own diet. Very smart.

Should we do a number? Should we fake it and say that we got it right?

69. No, we would never do that.

Just so everyone knows, we would never do that.

I shouldn't have said that because

now people are going to be like, you're going to fake it.

No, I'll keep Big Cat honest.

100.

52. Is it broken? Nope.
Okay, good. That would have been heartbreak.
I rely on that for everything. 100, 100, 100, 100.
Wait. What did you say, Bubba? 52.
It's 52 It's 52 Oh Bubba Let's go Fuck you I should have said the shit beforehand New champion That's I mean people can see it It's not me and BFT 52 Fuck Jake In the face New champ Yeah New fucking champ Sorry Jake I got the Yeah, we should get a belt or a crown for you to wear. Now, Bubba, will you be keeping the number? No.
Okay, great. Smart team player.
Yeah, I'm going to put it back. Thank you.
It's actually worth it as theft if you were to take it home. Very nice of you.
I'm sorry. It sucks that we didn't have a full house, but it still was awesome.
You still would have picked 52 anyways. Yeah, and it was awesome because guess what? Fuck everyone else.
You know what? Maybe that's the end of the game. No, actually, we'll keep doing it because we're addicted to fuck you.
That's straight up karma. You show it up for work.
You get rewarded. You show up for work.
You win absolutely nothing except the satisfaction of getting a ping pong ball right at the end of the show. Wednesday, best of with new interviews, so get ready.

We'll see you every Wednesday. Love you guys.

Oh, also, Billy said

lamb skin was used for condoms

until recently. Very cool, Billy.

Way to know about condoms, nerd.

I can't believe you got that. Take on me Take me on I'll be gone After I'm too Talking away But I'm the one I'm going to say I'd say it anyway Today's a night Day to finally Shine away I'll be coming for your love of free Shine away I'll be coming for your love of free Take on me Take me on.

I'll be gone.

It's Pardon My Tanks presented by Barstool Sports.