NFL Week 15, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game, And CFB Playoffs

2h 25m

Fastest 2 minutes for NFL Week 15. We then recap every game from Saturday and Sunday.
(2:04 - 7:47)

Browns vs Giants
(7:47 - 16:57)

Bills vs Broncos
(16:57 - 25:38)

Panthers vs Packers 
(25:38 - 34:40)

Bucs vs Falcons
(34:40 - 37:36)

Niners vs Cowboys 
(37:36 - 42:24)

Lions vs Titans 
(42:24 - 55:07)

Texans vs Colts
(55:07 - 64:11)

Patriots vs Dolphins
(64:11 - 72:40)

Bears vs Vikings
(72:40 - 79:07)

Seahawks vs WFT
(79:07 - 88:29)

Jaguars vs Ravens 
(88:29 - 97:16)

Jets vs Rams
(97:16 - 105:12)

Eagles vs Cardinals
(105:17 - 108:16)

Chiefs vs Saint

(108:16 - 115:42)

Football guy of the week, Baby Bron, CFB final rankings and playoffs and who's back of the week including Jose Canseco vs Billy Football (as Big Cat's proxy)  (115:42 - 142:28)


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Press play and read along

Runtime: 2h 25m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 3 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

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Speaker 4 On today's part of my take, we have week 15

Speaker 4 recap. Fastest two minutes, baby brawn of the week, who's back of the week, football guy of the week, college football rankings, everything.

Speaker 4 It is a jam-packed Monday Part of My Take after a weekend full of football, football, football.

Speaker 4 And we're brought to you by our friends. When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 4 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 let's go.

Speaker 4 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 4 And then I like the song of work to be done.

Speaker 4 Looks behind a low washing.

Speaker 4 And then I can't aim all on the sun. Oh, oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

Speaker 4 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 4 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 4 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 5 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 4 Go download it right now. Use code Barstool to get $10 for free.
$10 to the ASPCA. Today is

Speaker 4 December, Monday, December what? 21st. 21st.
Wait, is it the longest day?

Speaker 4 Let us be the first to wish you a happy

Speaker 5 day.

Speaker 5 A happy Sunday.

Speaker 4 Shortest day ever.

Speaker 5 We started. Perfectly average size.

Speaker 4 We start on Saturday in Mile High where Josh Allen Iverson has the answer to the question, when did the Bills last win the the AFC East title?

Speaker 5 24 hours ago, boom.

Speaker 4 As the Sean Doug McDermott coach Bill seemingly can't miss, Vic Only Fangios is making John Elway pay for picking him.

Speaker 4 And the Bills offense is global warming up at the right time of the year, relying on Diggs and Cole as the Chilean Broncos defense was only a minor inconvenience, getting buried for 48 points.

Speaker 4 And I am happy to report that

Speaker 4 no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. The Bills win the AFC East 48, Broncos, 19.
What? Woo!

Speaker 4 Down to Hot Lana, where stop me if you've heard this before. But Matt Ryan was up big on Tom Brady, only to have the Atlantis Falcons and Raheem Morissette blow it yet again.
Isn't it ironic?

Speaker 4 Tom Brady kept one hand in the pocket and the other Zeitana avocado, throwed a jagged little pill, and in true Odell fashion tried to kiss Brown after a late touchdown score.

Speaker 4 The Falcons are going down in a theater like Abraham Lincoln because if you're an Atlanta fan, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I don't know that no lead is ever safe.
Bucs 31, the Dirty Birds 27.

Speaker 4 To Indianapolis where DeForest Gump Buckner and Lieutenant Danco Autry took out Deshaun Watson's legs for four and a half sacks, aiding the Colts' defense to a victory.

Speaker 4 Zach Pascal Siakam was able to dunk two touchdowns into the end zone as Philip Seymour Hoffman Rivers was red-dragging his nuts across the Texans secondary. The Colts take down the Texans.
27-20.

Speaker 4 Someone put Deshaun Watson in a safe house.

Speaker 4 In Nashville, where Marvin Crohn's Jr. got shit on by Corey Dave IBS as the Titans wrecked him.
Tractor Cito. Leave you in the dust like you ate Cheetos.
Winches blatter like a mosquito.

Speaker 4 Still can conquer play off Andy Reid, though. The Titans roll the Lions 46 to 45.
Up north to Minneapolis where Michelangelo's David Montgomery made the Vikings D look small.

Speaker 4 I want my,

Speaker 4 I want my,

Speaker 4 I want my true biscuit as Darnell Moody for nothing and Akeem Hicks for free put the Vikings playoff chances in dire straits. All we are is just in the wind.

Speaker 4 Jefferson yelled at Kirk Cousins to throw the fucking ball, Kirk, after Kirk closed his eyes for the moment, only for a moment, and the moment's gone. You're my boy, Blue.

Speaker 4 I thought Trey Wingle left ESPN. The Bears take down the Vikings 33-27.

Speaker 4 The people in this studio are too young to understand how genius our dire straits song drop was there. In La La Land, Camolo Anthony Acres was upstaged by Braxton Honey Nut Berrios.

Speaker 4 And frankly, my gore, I don't give a damn gase as the hopes for Trevor Lawrence are gone with a win.

Speaker 4 The only one pick in New York was by Bryce Hall as the time for the Jets to make the number one selection is tick-tocking away. And these Rams are bad.

Speaker 4 Jets 23, the Rams 20. Goodwood, boom.
Huh? Huh?

Speaker 4 New York football just playing.

Speaker 4 Down in Miami, where cousin Sal Von Ahmed broke his podcast partner's heart with the nail in the coffin for Bill Simmons Belichick and the Patriots' playoff chances.

Speaker 4 In the words of my good friend, Smokey Robinson, let me be the last to wish you all a happy Chanica as Jua Tagliovoa and Matt Bredel Bredel Bredel got the Dolphins to their ninth win of the season.

Speaker 4 Dolphins 22, Patriots, 12.

Speaker 4 Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston got the rona. Such a sad sight to see.

Speaker 4 Give him his space. It's time to contact trace.

Speaker 5 Do the Saints need Mick sorely?

Speaker 4 Come on, James. The Dubs are tasteless.

Speaker 4 The Chiefs are undisputed. Let's get bailous.

Speaker 4 The Chiefs take down the Saints 32-29.

Speaker 4 And we finish in the nation's capital where the Joe Logan Thomas experience was a good one. Peak Christmas Carol gave the football team a fa la la la loss.

Speaker 4 Haskins tried to take the top off as the football team's offense pulled a Titanic, saying treat me like one of your french girls and the seahawks win a big one 20 to 15

Speaker 6 that was the fastest two minutes in sport hey it's pft here reminding you that boars head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless whether you order catering platters ahead from your local boars head retailer or you create your own spread at home with boars head premium deli meats and cheeses you are sure to impress your guests my favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 6 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering.

Speaker 5 Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 4 Hey, week 15 in the books, Sunday night football. How did it go for the New York Giants? Well, Freddie Kitchens is trending on Twitter.
That cannot be good. The Giants

Speaker 4 baffling, would say, I would say baffling plan. And

Speaker 4 the Browns looked good. Baker looked good.
The Browns now have 10 wins. They're on their way to the playoffs if they can just get rid of Cody Parky.
But the Giants, I think that's it for them.

Speaker 4 Nice run, but what the fuck were they doing?

Speaker 5 No, they're not out of it yet.

Speaker 4 Right, but that was a win.

Speaker 5 But it was an ass kicking. Like,

Speaker 5 you can't call yourself a playoff team and go out there and run the fake field goal.

Speaker 4 What was that?

Speaker 5 It was Joe Judge campaigning for coach of the year.

Speaker 4 What was that?

Speaker 5 There's two things. So one, I think Joe Judge wanted to put something special out there for the people watching on primetime.

Speaker 5 And two, I think he was playing on tilt a little bit, the old rivalry back to high school with Stefansky. Stefansky actually beat Joe Judge out to be the starting quarterback of their high school.

Speaker 5 And then Joe Judge transferred afterwards. So like it was, this was personal.
He was like trying to settle. Like in Joe Judge's mind, this is the culminating scene in like a high school sex comedy.

Speaker 5 Right. Where like he finally gets to come back and avenge his loss.
But it was, it was baffling. It was a weird play.
The play actually could have worked because the dude was kind of open.

Speaker 4 But I don't understand why you don't just keep your own offense on the field and just run your own offense instead of being like, hey, let's trick them, but not trick them by having all these guys out here.

Speaker 4 Joe Judge said afterwards, field goals weren't going to win this game. Well, okay, maybe,

Speaker 4 but

Speaker 4 you would have been down 13 to 9 at half instead of 13 to 3. So, I don't know.
Field goals would have gotten you in a spot to win the game. They wouldn't have hurt.
Right. Like,

Speaker 4 you would have been in

Speaker 4 distance at the end of the half. Like, instead, it was a 10-point game, which felt like too much for that offense.

Speaker 4 But you basically gave up a, you gave up a field goal with that stupid play to start the game. And then you gave it up again when you went for it on fourth and two at like the five-yard line.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I feel like Joe Judge saw Freddie Kitchens and was like, You control the offense, so I think we have a better chance of scoring a touchdown if I put my special teams and where I can dictate the play, right?

Speaker 5 As opposed to running one of your shitty plays, Freddie.

Speaker 4 Baker was really, really good, though. He's he's starting to like, I feel like he's turned a little bit of a corner where he sees everything 27 for 32

Speaker 4 for almost 300 yards. He was awesome, and uh, Wyatt Teller wasn't even playing.
And they lost their guard on the first drive. So they were playing

Speaker 4 the six-round pick at guard. Browns are for real, man.
The Browns are for real. These Browns could win two playoff games.

Speaker 5 These Browns aren't the Super Bowl Browns.

Speaker 4 The Browns are for real. And guess what? The Cleveland Browns are.

Speaker 4 Now.

Speaker 4 You know the playoff picture better than me. I'm worried.

Speaker 4 Okay, what?

Speaker 4 What? The Browns. Well, Cody Park is going to ruin your life, Browns fans.

Speaker 5 The Browns should make the playoffs. Right.
In a just world, the Browns should have already clinched at 10-4.

Speaker 4 I know that is so crazy that they...

Speaker 4 However, that is so fucked up.

Speaker 5 In the AFC,

Speaker 5 and Cleveland Browns fans turned this off. Not that you've probably already run through all these scenarios in your head, but the Ravens...
Are probably going to win their last two games.

Speaker 4 Wait, but the Browns play the Jets, so that's a win. That's a win.

Speaker 4 The Jets are coming off of a win that's a letdown spot for the jets yeah it's yeah this is a this is a trap game for the jets that is such a letdown spot for the jets yeah i love it uh

Speaker 5 and yeah so the ravens are going to get to 11 and five

Speaker 5 the uh colts are probably going to get to 11 and five the titans are probably going to get to 11 and five also. Okay.
So then things

Speaker 5 can get a little dicey at that point.

Speaker 4 What gets dicey?

Speaker 5 Well, the fact that the Browns would have to play the Pittsburgh Steelers in week 17

Speaker 5 and probably have that game flexed into primetime.

Speaker 4 And probably have that game.

Speaker 4 If they win that game, could they win the North? I don't think so.

Speaker 5 I don't think so.

Speaker 4 I don't think they have the tiebreakers.

Speaker 4 So are you saying that there's a way that the Browns could miss the playoffs at 11-5?

Speaker 4 Is that what I'm hearing you say?

Speaker 5 The Browns, I think, could win the AFC North.

Speaker 4 No, they can't. No, they can't.

Speaker 5 No, it's a possibility. Okay.
It's very, very unlikely. Okay.
There's a possibility. But all I'm saying is, like,

Speaker 5 that just, it feels bad. It feels like a setup.
If going into week 17, they flex that game in a prime time.

Speaker 4 If the Browns win 11 games and don't make the playoffs, that will be the cruelest thing that's ever happened. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Can't 2020 just end already?

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. I'm looking at it now.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 If all three teams finish 11-5, or all four teams finish 11-5,

Speaker 4 the Browns would miss the playoffs.

Speaker 4 If you're a Browns fan. What the fuck, dude?

Speaker 5 You kind of have to be rooting for the Giants to not take this loss too badly so that they can maybe go out there and beat, like, shock the Ravens next week.

Speaker 4 What the fuck?

Speaker 5 And all this, we're just.

Speaker 4 Why did you say that?

Speaker 4 I'm just pointing things.

Speaker 5 It's the math, big cat. It's not me.
I don't control the numbers yet, but the way things stand right now, and this is presuming that the Steelers beat the Bengals.

Speaker 4 I think that's actually, I think, all right, so now I'm starting to get a little bit of an understanding of this situation.

Speaker 4 I think if you're a Browns fan, you want the Steelers to win their next two games.

Speaker 4 That makes them in the playoffs, secure in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 They won the AFC North. They can't change where they're playing.
They're going to rest the starters. Then you can win in week 17.

Speaker 5 Do you think that Ben Rothelsberger might be a little bit hungry to go out there and claim his, like, I'm the kid?

Speaker 4 I've Cleveland. Don't think they'll even, I think they'll be like, Ben, you can't play.

Speaker 4 You know what? They'll tell Ben the game's on Monday.

Speaker 5 Or just tell him that it's in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 4 Mm-hmm. And he just won't even realize it.
All right. All right.
So the Browns, great win, 10-4.

Speaker 5 God damn it, that's scary. Tonight, the Browns look good.
The Browns should be in the playoffs. And they probably change.
And they probably will be.

Speaker 4 You know what? We need to change the playoffs if the Browns miss it at 11-5. That would be the cruelest thing that's ever happened.

Speaker 5 Have it be the Cleveland Browns rule. Yeah.
We're like one team that hasn't made the playoffs in a long time if you get double-digit wins.

Speaker 5 If you haven't made the playoffs in longer than 10 years and you have a 10-win season, you should get in.

Speaker 4 Yes. Yes, I agree.

Speaker 4 All right. And then, yeah, Joe Judge, I don't know what the fuck.
Stefansky should be coach of the year, I think. Yeah.
Right? Stefansky, McDermott. Tomlin kind of out.
Tomlin out.

Speaker 5 Friar Flores.

Speaker 4 Maybe. So there's your three, but I'm going to go with Stefanski.
You got the fucking Cleveland Browns to 10 wins. Kevin Stefanski gets my vote that I don't have, but I'm going to say it anyway.

Speaker 4 He gets my vote. He gets this podcast vote for Coach of the Year.
Yep. We've officially...
It's like the New York Times getting behind a presidential candidate.

Speaker 5 Part of my take. Well, they did two this year.

Speaker 4 They did? Yeah. So we should do two.
Part of my take as a podcast is getting behind Kevin Stefansky as Coach of the Year. Okay.

Speaker 5 Well, Kevin Stefansky and then

Speaker 5 alternate Sean McGrath. Sean McGerman.

Speaker 4 Yes, there you go.

Speaker 5 In case Kevin Stefansky should happen to not be able to fulfill his obligations.

Speaker 4 Billy, why did you order it? Why did you just walk in? It's 12.30 at night. Why did you just walk in with a bunch of cookies? I ordered it.

Speaker 4 I don't know why Billy would ever bring food in here when we have never brought it. He's got to put it on.
Did you order enough for all of us? Yes. Oh.
Thank you, Hank. Whoa.
Fuck yeah, Hank.

Speaker 4 Got a couple party packs. Let's go eat some Taco Bell.
Fuck yeah. All right.
Well, let's do the week 15, too, because we already recorded all week 15.

Speaker 4 Here is week 15.

Speaker 5 This is the best way to end a football weekend.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 A little Taco Bell nightcap. This meal.

Speaker 4 No way is this going to backfire eating Taco Bell at 12:30 in the morning.

Speaker 5 I'm going to eat seven tacos and then go home and fall asleep comfortably.

Speaker 4 All right, let's get to the rest of the week 15 slate. We're going to start with Saturday.

Speaker 5 Can I just interrupt you real quick? Yeah. I love football.
Like this weekend was football weekend, and football is the best.

Speaker 4 Sitting on the couch for an entire weekend and doing nothing but football it was this is heaven the only the only uh complaint i have is not really a complaint but it's more of a like hey remember to take care of your chickens take care of your mentals i had a definite football headache of just watching a screen for i don't know 24 hours over the last three days uh just make sure you know pop an advil every now and then yeah or just close your eyes yeah close your eyes close your eyes take a break what i like to do

Speaker 5 at halftime for about 30 seconds sometimes, I like to just stare at the ceiling and give my eyes the old reset on that.

Speaker 4 Yep, yep. Go outside for a minute.
Got to take care of yourself. You know, do something.
Do something. All right.
Let's get into it. So Saturday.
Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.

Speaker 4 The Buffalo Bills are AFC East champions. The first time in 25 years, 1995 was the last time.
It's been so long that 29 players on the Bills roster, including practice squad, were not born yet.

Speaker 4 The last time the Buffalo Bills won the AFC East. We're so happy for Josh Allen.
He's fucking awesome.

Speaker 4 Josh Allen needs four more touchdowns in the last two weeks to break the record for touchdowns by Bills QB, which this is actually like a real record because Jim Kelly's offenses were revolutionary.

Speaker 5 They were as close to like mid-2000s offenses as it got in the 80s and 90s.

Speaker 4 Right, exactly. So it's not, you know, it's not a nothing thing.
He has been incredible. Think about this.
The Bills are Kyler Murray's Hail Mary away from being 12 and 2 right now.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, the Bills fuck. And Josh Allen fucks.
And this Bills team could win the Super Bowl. Much like those Browns from a couple weeks ago could win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 The team that we've seen from the Bills in the last two weeks, they could beat the Chiefs in the playoffs. Yes.
If everything goes correctly. Like their defense is good enough.

Speaker 5 Josh Allen is fucking hard enough. Like the windows that he was putting the ball in were incredible.
And he's like, he is one guy.

Speaker 5 I know we had Mike Leach on the show like a couple years ago, and he was telling us that you can't get more accurate after you're what, like 17, right? 18 years old. You just peak accuracy.

Speaker 5 Josh Allen, I think Josh Allen might be younger than we think he is. Well, it's like a reverse Dominican baseball player.

Speaker 4 It's Benjamin Button. Yeah.
Right? Is that how Bunch was?

Speaker 5 But he ages backwards. Yeah.
Yeah. So he's going to get more accurate as this guy.
And then he's going to be a toddler.

Speaker 5 And then he's going to be a toddler, but hopefully we can get some titles out of it first. But like when

Speaker 5 they put the videos up of Josh Allen going back to Buffalo and the entire team landing, and the entire city of Buffalo greeted them at the airport, giving off major

Speaker 5 dogs-greeting military people coming home from their tours vibes. It was incredible.
It was awesome. Buffalo is going to be like Woodstock 99 if the Bills do work in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 And Cuomo said that they could potentially have some fans in the stands for the playoffs.

Speaker 5 Wait, which Fredo said that?

Speaker 4 Fredo said that. No, we don't say Fredo.
Cromo.

Speaker 4 So this is sometimes there is stating the obvious, but sometimes stating the obvious is still needed because you got to give credit where credit is due.

Speaker 4 And I think Brandon Bean, who we've had on the show,

Speaker 4 Sean McDermott, who is a great, great head coach, but

Speaker 4 the Bills front office. Like, you draft a quarterback.
There was a lot of people who thought Josh Allen would suck.

Speaker 4 Josh Allen has been fantastic. but more than that, they have put Josh Allen in a spot to succeed.
And I'm talking about the Stephon Diggs trade. That trade changed what the Bills' trajectory is.

Speaker 4 And it is the rare trade in sports where both teams won because the Vikings got Justin Jefferson out of it. So they have their

Speaker 4 stud wide receiver in the future. But Stefan Diggs has six or more receptions in all but one single game this year.

Speaker 4 On Saturday, he had 11 catches for 100, or sorry, this season he has 111 catches for 1,300 yards. Like, he has unlocked Josh Allen.

Speaker 4 And again, it is stating the obvious, but a lot of times franchises don't do these things where they say, hey, we've invested in this quarterback. We have him on his rookie deal.

Speaker 4 Let's get some guys around him who can be the perfect complement to what his skill set is, which is a Stefan Diggs and the deep ball catches and being able to run under the ball.

Speaker 4 And it just needs to be said because a lot of franchises don't do those smart things. The Bills have, and they deserve all the credit in the world because Josh Allen has been phenomenal.

Speaker 4 Diggs has been phenomenal. Cole Beasley has been phenomenal.
That defense has turned itself around. Like the D, the Bills' defense was the issue,

Speaker 4 which is weird because last year they were unbelievable. But after the bye week, they've figured it out.
They have figured something out where

Speaker 4 they play good enough defense that this, like you said, is a Super Bowl contending team. And guess what?

Speaker 4 They went to Denver, which could have been a letdown spot because everyone's talking about them, and they annihilated the process.

Speaker 5 And it was on a weird Saturday, too, which is another place, like a relatively short week, could also be another letdown spot.

Speaker 4 And a t-shirt and hat game, which I love that saying. Yeah, that's true.
Got to have a t-shirt and hat game.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so they come back. They're AFC East champions.
And we've seen, I don't know if you've seen the screenshots, but there's some screenshots going around from people that work inside.

Speaker 5 What's the name of the Buffalo Stadium?

Speaker 4 Do they have a name? No, it's New Era, but it's not anymore. Blue Jays.
Bill Stadium. The Blue Jays Stadium.

Speaker 4 We've had talks about having it be the Barstool Stadium.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so there are people that work there that are getting contacted saying, hey, would you be willing to work concessions during the playoffs if we put in this sort of protocol?

Speaker 5 And so they're planning on having fans there. Bills Mafia is going to be there.
And Bills Mafia went fucking nuts on Saturday. Good for them.

Speaker 5 Great job. for the Bills fans being able to celebrate hard and go like ham on a Saturday night knowing that they have a full day of recovery on Sunday.
Yes.

Speaker 5 You guys deserved it because all Buffalo would have called in sick had you clinched the AFC East and won that game on Sunday.

Speaker 4 This is, though,

Speaker 4 and I just keep going back to it, but the fact that the Browns and the Bills are both

Speaker 4 Browns most likely playoff bound without fans in the stands and fans partying beforehand, it is a little bit of a tragedy. It's a mini-tragedy because those fan bases deserve it.

Speaker 4 And Bills fans should be, I mean, this has been a long time coming.

Speaker 4 Obviously, they broke the streak to get to the playoffs a few years ago, but winning the AFCE's first time in 25 years, young quarterback, franchise quarterback, like that's

Speaker 4 Bills fans are waking up on Monday morning and they're just happy. Like they're just straight up happy.
And that's such an awesome feeling when your sports team can do that for you.

Speaker 4 It's why you go through the losses.

Speaker 5 Yep. There's been no better application of nature as healing than seeing Bills fans jumping through tables, lighting them on fire, smashing like full 2020s over their heads.

Speaker 5 That's how I knew that things are, things are on the right track in the world right now. So I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention that the Bills and the Broncos, that's the most successful O.J.

Speaker 5 Simpson-run game of all time. Nice.
Big matchup between the two of those. A lot of history between those franchises.

Speaker 4 And Drew Locke is done. We've got to be done with that.

Speaker 5 I'm opting out on Drew.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, you've opted out, but I'm not talking to you anymore. You've already opted out.
I'm talking about the Broncos. The Broncos have to be done with that.

Speaker 4 And unfortunately, I think Vic Fangio is probably going to get fired.

Speaker 4 I still would rank him number one in defensive coordinator, so he'll have a job. It just didn't really work out for him.

Speaker 5 He was never really meant to be a head coach.

Speaker 4 And it sucks because they just don't have a quarterback. And I still think that their roster is decent where they can turn it around somewhat.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Like, if you look at the Chargers and the Broncos, like, there's teams out there where if you're a fan of that team, it's not... You're not the Jets.
You're not the Jaguars.

Speaker 4 Like, there are moves that can be made that can get you back in the playoffs, I feel like, in the next couple of years.

Speaker 5 Yeah, your defense is going to be good when Von Miller gets back in.

Speaker 4 You have offensive weapons.

Speaker 5 He's got offensive weapons. Noah Fan is awesome.
Yep. But again,

Speaker 5 he does still feel to me like the second team he's on, he's going to be a fucking monster. He's going to be like all world.
He's going to be the next baby Gronk.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes. All right.
So that was Saturday football.

Speaker 4 Saturday night football. The Packers and the Panthers.

Speaker 4 Rodgers called it, Aaron Rodgers called it a disappointing win.

Speaker 4 It's a fucking asshole.

Speaker 4 But it was a weird game because the Packers were up 21-3. They scored, I think, on their first three drives.
Aaron Rodgers wasn't that sharp. Their offense wasn't that sharp.

Speaker 4 I think that he was like, hey, I can probably suck tonight knowing everyone's watching college football and I'll still win an MVP. That's just my thought.
And Matt Ruhl,

Speaker 4 point spread God, kicks the field goal on first down. Everyone was freaking out about it.
It almost worked.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, I think it's kind of the right decision. Well, you don't see a lot of coaches do it.

Speaker 4 But it's kind of not because you still have first down.

Speaker 4 You can take a stride.

Speaker 5 It's hard to save time.

Speaker 4 It's harder to score the touchdown than the field goal. So it's still like it ended up not looking dumb in retrospect, but I still think you need to at least run a play on first and second down.

Speaker 4 If you score a touchdown on first or second down, then the hard part's done.

Speaker 5 He was making up for it with Joey Sly, sending Joey Sly out there to make a very makeable field goal towards the end of the game. Yeah.
As opposed to trotting him out there with like...

Speaker 5 I still think it's dumb. Because you could see that going the other way, where maybe they score a touchdown, and then Sly goes out there and they have to kick a 67-yard

Speaker 5 backwards somehow.

Speaker 4 But it's

Speaker 4 it, listen, if you do it and like third down or fourth down, I get it, but first down, like, what are you doing? Just fucking take two shots to the end zone.

Speaker 5 You might have three bad snaps in a row, but right.

Speaker 4 Uh, but yeah, that was Matt Ruhl was the point spread god, and Teddy Bridgewider just keeps covering point spreads.

Speaker 5 Um, you bring up a good point, though, with Aaron Rodgers. And maybe you weren't going down this road, but I'll just say it.
When was the last time Aaron Rodgers was happy? Never. Has he been happy?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 5 I feel like his source of happiness is when the haters aren't happy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, he likes, he's just a surly guy who likes to just not be happy.

Speaker 5 Who likes to excel at football?

Speaker 4 Yeah, and just be like,

Speaker 4 oh, yeah, this is a disappointing win. Okay, dude.
Like, you're 11-3.

Speaker 4 Oh, I'm so disappointed. We've had a nice season, but that was a disappointing win.
Whatever.

Speaker 4 I still think the Packers can.

Speaker 4 I'm excited for this Titans Packers game next week. Let's just say that.

Speaker 5 So we're going to find out how soft the Packers D is next week because I don't think that they're as soft as they were. I think that their D has gotten a little bit harder.
They're still soft.

Speaker 5 The D is semi. They've got a semi right now in Green Bay.

Speaker 4 They're one and two against winning teams.

Speaker 5 They're chubbed up because they're one and two against winning teams.

Speaker 4 They're going to get the one seed, most likely. It's pretty much, I mean, it's guaranteed.
You know what? There's basically no chance that they don't get the one seed.

Speaker 5 You're just hoping they're in week seven.

Speaker 4 No, I'm just saying it.

Speaker 5 They have the one seed. Foots off the gas.

Speaker 4 No, I've already done the math on that. I'm no longer scared of the Bears playing on Sunday Night Football flexing because the Bears' entire

Speaker 4 playoff chances rely on the Cardinals, and they would never put a game in there that it could have already been decided.

Speaker 5 I think that much like the Bills are discussing putting certain fans into the stands, the Packers just need to have the first row of the end zone filled with people so that you can do a non-sad Lambo leap.

Speaker 5 Yeah. So just so that somebody can catch them.

Speaker 4 I like that.

Speaker 4 I think Rodgers also, this will be like the, I think this will be his third time going 40 touchdowns plus single-digit interceptions, which I think the only two other people have done it are Brady and Manning.

Speaker 4 So whatever. He's good.
That's fine. It's so boring.
Yeah, I said something nice.

Speaker 5 To be that consistent.

Speaker 4 I said something nice. It's because he throws it away a lot.
He doesn't take chances. Well, he.
Brett Favre was a gun.

Speaker 5 He tried taking chances.

Speaker 4 At least Brett Favre fucking went down with the ship.

Speaker 5 Aaron Rodgers experimented this year with taking chances. There was like one quarter where he experimented with taking chances, and he had like two pick six.
And then he was like, you know what?

Speaker 5 Fuck that. I'm not doing that ever again.

Speaker 4 For some reason, someone retweeted on my timeline that Brett Favre was talking about his last game. It was when Corey Wooten basically killed him on that frozen turf in Minnesota.

Speaker 4 And I had never heard the story, but Brett Favre said he got knocked out. He was snoring.
The trainer came and got him up. He tried to go to the wrong sideline.
He then went to the right sideline.

Speaker 4 He got in his street clothes. He had a hot coke.
This is his words. He had a hot cocoa and a chili dog, and that was it.

Speaker 5 And he just knew at that point, I'm done.

Speaker 4 Hot cocoa and a chili dog. That's disgusting.
Yeah, you know what?

Speaker 5 I might get one of those Copperfit things that he advertises for my back because I'm into just strictly junk science treatments in my back for right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you just won't listen to me, even though I've been through everything. No, I'm going to go back to it.
Like, I'll do whatever.

Speaker 5 Like, I'll go to a witch doctor. I don't really care.
I'll see you.

Speaker 4 I was like, hey, if you call a doctor, you're like, no, I don't want to do that.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go to acupuncturist. I'm going to do this.

Speaker 5 Dude, I don't trust doctors.

Speaker 4 I don't.

Speaker 5 I've been reading a lot of editorials recently.

Speaker 5 I'll take the vaccine. I think doctors.
No, I'll inject the vaccine into myself.

Speaker 4 I know how to use a needle. I'll drink that thing from water fountain.

Speaker 5 I'll fuck the vaccine.

Speaker 4 No problem. I'll boof it.
I'll bathe in it.

Speaker 5 Can you take the vaccine rectally? Done. We'll find out.

Speaker 4 We'll have Billy do it to us. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. Next up, Bucks Falcons.

Speaker 4 well this was just to be expected right uh yeah the falcons are up 17 nothing the falcons are the falcons tom brady is tom brady tom brady now has four uh career games comeback wins when his team has been down 17 plus in the first half at halftime and two most most most all-time and two of them are against the falcons one in the super bowl this was like they the as bad as the bucks were the first half that's how good they were in the second half they scored on their first five possessions of the second half, and you just expected this game because the Falcons are the Falcons and Tom Brady is Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 Yeah, this is the fourth game that the Falcons have had a 95% win probability and gone on to lose the game. So they are mathematical proof that statistics aren't real.
They've done it.

Speaker 5 Using statistics, we can now prove that stats are fake. Yes.
Which is incredible. I just still think that there's one guy that just,

Speaker 5 he feels like, okay, this feels like a 95% game. And then he just puts, he he updates the ESP.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, it's totally fake. So my question from this game,

Speaker 4 are the Bucs frauds?

Speaker 5 You're saying that because of the first quarter.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 First half. I was thinking about it.
I feel like the Bucs just stink in the first quarter.

Speaker 4 No, no. It's not just on this game.
The first half was very bad. It's also the fact that the Bucs,

Speaker 4 when they play bad defenses, they look okay. And they are going to now, so they play the Falcons.
Next week, they play the Lions. Then they play the Falcons again.

Speaker 4 We're going to have a three-game stretch where the Bucs should look okay.

Speaker 4 And I'm saying Frauds, when they get to the playoffs,

Speaker 4 you can't go down 17 points against a good defense.

Speaker 4 You just can't. The Falcons are a broken team.
And I think the Bucs are relying on flipping the switch. And I feel like if you are,

Speaker 4 the Chiefs could be a flip-the-switch team. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Tom Brady and the Patriots could be a flip-the-switch team. Like teams that have done it can flip the switch.
The Bucs have not done it. So, you can't be like, hey, we're going to flip this switch.

Speaker 4 It's almost like the Clippers. The Clippers spent the entire bubble being like, we're going to flip this switch.
Well, you've never flipped the switch. I feel like the switch isn't there.

Speaker 5 The Bucs could find the switch because they've got enough ingredients to have a switch. That's the thing.

Speaker 5 They've got all the, what is it, all the Corvettes? They've got too many Corvettes and not enough Jeep Wranglers out there.

Speaker 4 Here's a good sign that a team may be a fraud. This is like, what is like Jeff Foxworthy or Redneck? Jeff Fraudworthy.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 When the line that you hear constantly, something I've said, something I've heard many people say,

Speaker 4 the Bucs have the most talented roster in the NFL. When you say that over and over, that's essentially saying, without saying,

Speaker 4 but they suck. Right.

Speaker 4 They are not reaching their ceiling.

Speaker 5 You're saying that they should be good. Right.

Speaker 4 They should be a lot better.

Speaker 5 On paper, the Bucs are the best team. Right.
On paper, the game's not played on paper.

Speaker 4 If you talk about how talented your roster is, there's a good chance that you aren't getting to the ceiling of your ability.

Speaker 5 Right. It's not played on paper.
It's played in the ESPN win probability chart.

Speaker 5 That's where the games are really played. But they do start slow.
They're a very slow start game.

Speaker 4 And I think that that's going to hurt them because they are not the Chiefs.

Speaker 5 I think they're just, the entire offense is just laughing for the first quarter looking over at Bruce Arias for the first time all week when he's wearing the full hurt locker bomb diffuser setup that he has.

Speaker 5 Yes. Where he's got the strap on and then he's got the protective face shield all over him.
He gets more accessories week in and week out.

Speaker 5 So it might take him a little bit to remember where all the different buttons are. He has to learn a new system every single week.

Speaker 5 But I feel like the first quarter Bucs are one of the worst teams in the NFL. I need to look this up.

Speaker 5 And then second, third quarter on, they get into the swing of things.

Speaker 4 Here's all I'm going to say to you. Here's all I'm going to say to you.
If the Bears somehow do sneak into the playoffs and the Raiders don't, which we expect the Raiders not to, right?

Speaker 4 The Bucs will have finished the regular season

Speaker 4 going, and I'm going to assume they're going to win their last two games. The Bucs will have finished the regular season going going

Speaker 4 11.

Speaker 4 No, they would have gone 1-4,

Speaker 4 1-5 against playoff teams, and 10-0 against non-playoff teams. I mean, that's something, right? Yeah, no, that's something.
They lost the Saints twice. They lost to the Bears.

Speaker 4 They lost to the Chiefs, and they lost to the Rams. Like, the Packers, that 38-10 Packers win is the only win you can look at.
If we were doing the BCS, the Bucs are out.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and I think that the Bucs probably, I would not trust them to go on the road to a cold environment.

Speaker 4 Nope.

Speaker 5 They're warm weather. Tom Brady already said he's never moving back north.
Right.

Speaker 5 He likes the hot weather down there. So I think, yeah, if they have to go outside in the cold, that's going to be tough for them.
If they get to play a game in Tampa, then I think they can win that.

Speaker 5 If they get to play in a dome, I think they, like, would you be surprised if the Bucs beat the Saints in the Superdome?

Speaker 4 Actually, I would.

Speaker 5 I would be shocked by it.

Speaker 4 I would. I think it's a terrible matchup for them.

Speaker 5 You know what I really like, though?

Speaker 5 This game brought out the old first-down chains, and there was another first-down controversy where the ball was definitely short of the marker and some people are like i don't like the fact that we use chains to measure distance in the nfl it's a billion dollar league or whatever it is i'm okay with it i like i like having like a little bit of that weirdness where yeah the referee is gonna be looking down and seeing if a link or the human error yeah the human error the chain system it would get yeah was akeep tlib announcing this uh no he was doing the uh cardinals game because he was calling kyler murray calamari okay i got it uh But Akeem Philippe would get PTSD from the chain system for sure.

Speaker 5 But I think that

Speaker 5 there's something endearing about it. Yeah.
Being like, look at these old men trying to eye fuck the distance between the end of a football and a pole in the ground. It's kind of fun.

Speaker 4 So the Bucs, we'll see. Matt Ryan still remains the most sackable quarterback in the NFL.
There were a couple times where he just sacked himself.

Speaker 4 He's doing the Eli Manning now where he just kind of gives up. I also, our good friend Stephen Shea, Bucks Super fan,

Speaker 4 did have

Speaker 4 a tweet that I think we need to bring this saying back more. He said, the Bucks have no pass rushes in the first half.
They need to start heating up the quarterback.

Speaker 5 Okay, yeah, I like that too. Heat up the quarterback.
Keep your ears back and heat up the quarterback. Heat up the quarterback.

Speaker 5 We got to have a couple meetings at the quarterback.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like a left, it's leftovers. Leftover lasagna.
We got to heat up this quarterback.

Speaker 5 Do you think, like, we haven't heard that much out of Antonio Brown. He's not going live on Instagram after games, which sucks.
Score touchdowns. That's one of my favorite parts of the week.

Speaker 5 He had a nice touchdown today, but I just keep feeling like

Speaker 5 we're overdue.

Speaker 5 He's the Yellowstone Super Volcano, and we're overdue for just a catastrophic explosion.

Speaker 4 Yeah, when the Bucs lose in the playoffs, we will get an Instagram live, and it will be hilarious. Yep.
Yeah. All right, next up, Niners, Cowboys.
Not a whole lot from this game. Great color game.

Speaker 4 The two uniforms just makes you look back.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it felt like the 90s.

Speaker 4 Yeah, missed the 90s.

Speaker 4 But this game, weirdly, there was a lot of points. There was like 20 points in the last 90 seconds with that weird kickoff return and then Hail Mary.
But

Speaker 4 the biggest takeaway I had from this game, well, I had two takeaways. One is

Speaker 4 Tony Pollard is

Speaker 4 a reason why, if there's anyone out there, I don't even think these people exist anymore, that you shouldn't pay a lot of money to a running back. Tony Pollard is it.

Speaker 4 He's not Ezekiel Elliott, but what is he? Like 75%, 80%? And what's he get paid? Like a million dollars?

Speaker 5 It's like Saquon Barkley and Wayne Gallman. Yeah.
So like, yeah, you can get most of the production of it, but still, I will say, like, I'm definitely a prisoner of the moment all the time.

Speaker 5 I'm constantly trapped in a sell of the current time that we're in. And like, yeah, you got to pay Dalvin Cook.

Speaker 4 Yes. Like, I will.
Well, if Kirk Cousins, that's also a combo deal where if Kirk Cousins is your quarterback, then you do have to pay Dalvin Cook.

Speaker 5 And I'm fully prepared to be a million percent wrong in two years when Dalvin Cook

Speaker 5 regresses to the point where, yeah, we ran him into the ground like Larry Johnson, so turns out he's not worth the money, and they're going to hamstring him with a cap for like years to come.

Speaker 5 But at the time with Ezekiel Elliott, it was like, you got to pay Zeke. Yep.
You got to feed him. You got to feed the guy.

Speaker 5 But yeah, we're always proven wrong two years after that take.

Speaker 4 So my other one was:

Speaker 4 I think Kyle Shanahan should just keep subbing in and out C.J. Bethard and Nick Mullens.
So I have stats to back it up.

Speaker 4 When CJ Beathard or Nick Mullens subs in for the other one, they are the sub, sub E, sub, the sub, the sub sub.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the person who comes in

Speaker 5 is the sub. Yeah, the sub.

Speaker 4 And the person who leaves is the sub B

Speaker 5 has been subbed.

Speaker 4 Has been subbed. So the person who comes in is 54 for 80, 68%, 641 yards, four touchdowns, one interception, 8.1 yards an attempt.
Yeah. So

Speaker 5 they have two backup quarterbacks. They just need to keep subbing them.
Neither one is comfortable in a starting rule.

Speaker 4 Every time they come in, I'm like, oh, man, that guy should start. Oh, man, that guy should start.

Speaker 5 Right. A sub is just a boat that's lurking underwater.
And yes, when it's Bethard coming in, like, he, it's a sad spark. You never want to say, like,

Speaker 5 we need a spark for our offense by bringing in C.J. Bethard because it's not a spark with him.
You're just turning the gas on.

Speaker 5 Maybe you'll feel funny for a little bit off the fumes, but you're not going to start a fire with him. Right.
Yes, when it's Nick Mullins, I think they're both gunslingers.

Speaker 5 And when you have a gunslinger performs better when he's not fully prepared, correct. When he gets out there and he just says, fuck it, I'm going to throw him in.

Speaker 5 I'm just going to throw the ball around like it's in the backyard. Yes.
And it plays in the dirt.

Speaker 4 So the other, in one final, well, the Cowboys are still weirdly in it.

Speaker 5 They are in it. Yeah.
There's a bunch of the NFC East, because they beat each other up and they're battle-tested, there's a bunch of different scenarios how it can shake out down the stretch.

Speaker 5 The Cowboys, as weird as it is to say, like any of those four teams could win the NFC East.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes, it is crazy. Nick Mullins, nice guy.
I think he might listen to this show. I'm not going to be mean to him because I like him.
I've never met him, but I like him.

Speaker 4 He's got a little bit of the Mason Rudolph big face thing. When they show his face

Speaker 4 at the end of a game and they're losing, his face is too big. It's just too big.
It just takes up too much size and it just makes you feel bad. I think he's got a smooth face.
Yeah, but it's big.

Speaker 4 He's got a big ass head.

Speaker 5 He's face. Big ass head.
His face is an Instagram filter.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's just too big. Like, I don't know what there's nothing he can do about it except maybe like have less face.

Speaker 4 Or like have ice water, an ice bucket just on deck so you could dunk his head in there. Yeah, reduce the face.
Just so he can sit there and be like, okay, not a huge face.

Speaker 4 But I noticed that today when they showed him on the sideline, I was like, damn. Nick Mullen's got a big fucking head.

Speaker 5 Yeah. There's another fun stat from today.
This comes from our good friend Andrew Ceciliano. He said this is the first time that both teams have played each other when they're both in last place.

Speaker 4 Ooh. Ever.

Speaker 5 So I guess that's pretty fun, but they don't really play each other all the time.

Speaker 4 And then we could say, not your father's Cowboys, not your father's Niners.

Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, just go on.
They should just swap out the starting quarterback immediately before game time.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Just keep going back and forth.

Speaker 4 Do it like college football. Yeah, no,

Speaker 4 back and forth. Switch it back and forth.

Speaker 4 Tongue to my mouth.

Speaker 5 They did take Nick Mullins out because he was hurt. No, they said he was hurt.
They said that he lost sensation in his arm. So he had the funny bone.
Yes. We're dealing with a funny bone epidemic.

Speaker 5 He's in Slovakia.

Speaker 4 In the NFL, yeah. Yes.
All right. Next up, we got Lions, Titans.

Speaker 4 So, Titans absolutely killed the Lions.

Speaker 4 Tractor Cito

Speaker 4 on pace for 2K, which

Speaker 4 I don't...

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 he probably won't get it, not because he couldn't get it. But because why would you...

Speaker 4 Like, once they clinch or once they're in the playoffs, it seems like the smart thing to do is not just go for yards and carries for Derrick Henry, right?

Speaker 5 No, but you also want to protect Ryan Tannehill.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so Ryan Tannehill, Ryan Tannehill, Ryan Tannehill was fucking awesome in this game. And Ryan Tannehill, it needs to be repeated.

Speaker 4 And I actually, your take about Ryan Tannehill, I don't totally disagree that eventually he's going to rear its ugly head and it's like, hey, he's still Ryan Tannehill.

Speaker 4 But we should give him credit when he is really, really good. And he has been really, really good.

Speaker 4 So since week seven, 2019, when he took over as starting quarterback, he is third in the league in touchdown passes with 53, 24 games, 53 touchdown passes, and second in the league for total touchdowns, 61.

Speaker 4 That's fucking good. He is 8.7 yards of temp.
Like Ryan Tannehill deserves the credit for being an awesome quarterback the last year and a half, one of the top five quarterbacks in the league,

Speaker 4 whether you think he's ranked there or not, he's ranked ranked there statistically. And he's like basically

Speaker 4 proof positive that if you get away from Adam Gase, you'll be good. And

Speaker 4 every backup quarterback should look at that and be like, hey, I could maybe be Ryan Tannehill if I get in the right system.

Speaker 5 Well, Ryan Tannehill is bad for the NFL because, especially if you have a quarterback who's like,

Speaker 5 just wait. This guy needs a little bit more time to develop guy.
He's going to make so many teams do the wrong thing. Just wait.

Speaker 5 And be like, I think that I've seen enough out of him where I think there's potential. Like, yes, you're right.
Ryan Tannehill is good now.

Speaker 5 And for me, it's just completely personal where it's like, I spent, I spent so long watching Ryan Tannehill and being so certain that he wasn't good. It takes me some time to unlearn that.
Yes.

Speaker 5 So my brain is dumb. No, it's.

Speaker 4 And you know what's going to happen? Is the minute you say to yourself, Ryan Tannehill is really good, he will do something that will be like, oh, I got duped.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And then I'll feel, then I'll never change my mind again about anything.
But Ryan Tannehill is the one guy where it's like he got to the next place and all of a sudden he's good. Right.

Speaker 5 Marcus Mario could be that guy

Speaker 5 in

Speaker 5 Las Vegas. Anywhere.
And I'm just basing that off, what, three quarters of football?

Speaker 4 That's enough for me. That's enough for me.
There's enough scouting that I've done.

Speaker 5 I'd like to give an inaugural award. Boy of the week.
Boy of the week goes to Will Compton.

Speaker 4 Block of the week? Boy of the week. What's Boy of the Week?

Speaker 5 Oh, he had a nice hit.

Speaker 4 Steven Chey does have Boy of the Year.

Speaker 5 Boy of the Year. Which is a Block of the Year.
This is Boy of the Week. So, Busting with the Boys, Will Compton had a man-sized goal-line stand.
Yes, I'm a bad guy.

Speaker 5 Our boys becoming a man man-of-shout out to Boy of the Week. To Boy of the Week, Will Compton inaugural award.
We'll probably retire that after this week. He's the only winner.

Speaker 5 He's the only one that can win.

Speaker 4 Boy of the week. Maybe when Taylor Luan comes back, he can win a Boy of the Week.

Speaker 5 Another fun stat: the Titans have had four straight 9-7 seasons, but not anymore, which is perfect. Nice.
It's perfect because 9-7 is the most boring record you can have as a team.

Speaker 4 It's also like the most AFC South record, I think. Yes.
Yeah,

Speaker 5 you're probably going to win the division 50% of the time going 9-7 and then get a wild card 33% of the time that you do it. So, yeah, they are

Speaker 5 no longer 9-7.

Speaker 4 I still don't believe in them.

Speaker 4 We'll see. Okay, here's

Speaker 4 here's

Speaker 4 the other side of this game. Matt Stafford is the toughest motherfucker in the league.
He had hurt ribs.

Speaker 4 Someone else had hurt ribs, and they sat out for like five fucking weeks.

Speaker 4 Matt Stafford had hurt ribs, didn't practice all week, no Kenny Galladay, came out and still kept the Lions in this game for three quarters. He got hurt, he got pulled when it became a blowout.

Speaker 4 But the Lions, so hurt ribs, Matt Stafford, no practice, no Kenny Galladay. The Lions still went 7 for 12 on third down.
That's what we've been saying all year.

Speaker 4 The Titans' third-down defense is the biggest issue. When they need to get stops, they can't get stops.
When they need to get off the field, they can't get off the field.

Speaker 4 When the Lions go seven for 12 on third down with a hurt Matt Stafford and no Kenny Galladay, you should be worried.

Speaker 5 I'm officially entering into we must protect Matt Stafford at all costs. I want

Speaker 5 to talk about the fucking I want to see Matt Stafford go to a contender.

Speaker 4 Remember when he

Speaker 4 broke his shoulder and still came and then came back in and threw the touchdowns.

Speaker 5 He was pushing the trainers away from him. Yes.
Yeah, he had like a separated shoulder.

Speaker 4 Last year he broke his back and we didn't find out till like two weeks later, like, oh, yeah, he's got a broken back.

Speaker 5 He's had Corona more times than the president of Brazil.

Speaker 4 This dude is a fucking person. No, of course.

Speaker 5 No one has. That's like, yeah, he's

Speaker 5 an all-time record.

Speaker 4 No one has. He's going for the record.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but Stafford is like, he's always, there's always something going on with him, but not in a Ben Rothlessberger type way.

Speaker 4 No, he's, I would like to see. He's the opposite big man.

Speaker 5 I would like to see the, like, if you put up the

Speaker 5 infographic side by side and show me the different glowing parts of Matt Stafford's body for what injuries he's had, I bet he looks like a Ben Rothlessberger.

Speaker 4 If, if, if Ben Rothlessberger got the injuries that Matt Stafford had, he would just be sitting on the trainer state table and asking the trainer, am I dead? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, am I actually, don't, don't fuck with me. I'm dead, right? Yeah.
Like, I'm not here on earth.

Speaker 5 No, I think he would have asked for Dr. Kvorkian to come in.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like, just pull the plug. Put me away.

Speaker 5 I've seen enough. Euthanize me where I sit like a horse.

Speaker 4 But yeah, so Matt Stafford's a tough motherfucker.

Speaker 4 I just think the Titans' defense, like, it just, they can get in shootouts. They can win shootouts.
But, I mean, I guess when you just judge everything against the Chiefs, it's, it changed.

Speaker 4 The problem with the AFC this year is that

Speaker 4 you could say the Titans are a a good team, but you still don't believe in them and be right on both of the things. And Titans fans will obviously get upset, but it's the truth.

Speaker 4 Do you ever see the Titans being able to stop Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs on third down, like with the game on the line? Yeah. No.

Speaker 5 I think that they could score 30 points against the Chiefs. Yeah.
And then the Chiefs will score 55.

Speaker 4 Right, exactly. So

Speaker 4 I don't know what they have to do to fix that, but their defense, yeah,

Speaker 4 they can't rush the passer. They can't get off the field on third down.
But Ryan Tannehill is really good. And Derrick Henry, fourth player in NFL history, PFT, with 1,500 rush yards and 15 TDs plus

Speaker 4 in back-to-back seasons. Two out of three of the other ones won the MVP in that season.
So he should be considered. I don't know why we don't consider him.
Sean Alexander won it in 2005.

Speaker 4 Terrell Davis in 1998. Larry Johnson did not win it.
Larry Johnson, I went back and I looked. He had 752 carries in that two-year stretch.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they they tried to kill him.

Speaker 4 They tried to kill him. 752 carries.

Speaker 5 And now he's the weakest person in the world.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I would say there's, I mean, I'd have to go look, but like, no team.

Speaker 4 I bet you that that would be like two teams combined carries as a team in two seasons now in today's NFL. Oh, it's insane.
752 carries.

Speaker 5 I actually think that was the death of the workhorse back, Paul Cowell back.

Speaker 4 He had 400 plus in the second year. It was insane.

Speaker 5 He was overused so much that that the entire NFL was like, never again. We've seen this guy's tweets.
We can't do this to another running back.

Speaker 5 Derrick Henry,

Speaker 5 he needs to chill with punching people in the face when he's running with the football.

Speaker 4 It's awesome, though. Every time it's so fucking.

Speaker 5 Can you imagine if you're like a safety or a cornerback and you have to, you've seen

Speaker 5 all your brethren get put on tape, get put on posters. I love that.

Speaker 5 I would just try to grab his beaver tail. I would just try to grab his hair, tackle him by his hair.
You can do that. It's not a horse collar.
Yep. Just pull him down by that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you absolutely can do that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, there's like a bunch of teams I'm looking right now who are in, who are going to be under 400 carries for their entire team.

Speaker 4 Like almost, almost the entire league is going to be under 400 carries except for like five teams. And he had that himself, himself, in that second year after going like 360 carries.
Just crazy.

Speaker 4 But either way, Derrick Henry should be talked about in the MVP.

Speaker 4 I think if Derrick Henry doesn't get at least an MVP vote this year or gets in the discussion, we should officially say it's the death of ever having a non-quarterback.

Speaker 4 I know Adrian Peterson won it in 2012, but with the way the NFL has gone and how teams just don't run like they used to, that's it. Like, it's never going to happen again.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 If he gets over 2,000, I could see him getting... Like, you have to...

Speaker 5 Football writers are so dumb that when they see 2,000 on the stats sheet, they'll be like, yeah, I kind of got to give him some credit. You'll see some people vote for him just because he breaks that.

Speaker 5 But the reality is, yes, Derrick Henry, he should. You know what? We're talking about him in the MVP race right now.

Speaker 4 Boom, we just did it. That's mad.

Speaker 5 Derrick Henry is officially in the conversation for NFL MVP. That's true.

Speaker 4 We should need to do that more where it's like, hey, you're the number one sports podcast. You can just say it and then say other people are saying it.
Yeah. Which is just us saying it.

Speaker 5 If Derrick Henry, yeah, all he has to do is like put up a couple Instagram posts of like how much he really enjoys listening to Bruce Springsteen and you two, and then the voters will be like, yeah, I like this guy.

Speaker 5 Go to

Speaker 4 go to one lobster dinner with Peter King, and you'll get his vote.

Speaker 4 That's all it will take.

Speaker 5 That's literally it.

Speaker 4 That's all you have to do.

Speaker 4 He can be bought with food. Well, actually, no, because remember, he started hating us after I bought him in an out burger.
Right. And he hasn't paid me back.

Speaker 5 Go to a restaurant.

Speaker 4 You owe me like $18, Peter King. You got two burgers, bro.

Speaker 5 You ate two of them. Go to a restaurant with him right after somebody dies and let him see you break the news cordially to the host.

Speaker 5 And then I think he'll be like, game, respect, game.

Speaker 4 Just remember that.

Speaker 4 If anyone wants to tweet at Peter King and tell him that he owes us.

Speaker 4 I think,

Speaker 4 what's two, Jake, look it up. What's two in-and-out burgers in a fry? He got two in-and-out burgers and a fry.

Speaker 4 I paid for it. I remember, Hank, you were in the car with me.
We got like a shitload of food. We're at the Niners facility.
Shout out to Niners for letting us hang out all day there.

Speaker 4 And yeah, we need to get

Speaker 4 him and also get the interest rates for the last two years. So there's inflation.
Yeah, there's inflation.

Speaker 4 I got to charge points on it. What do you think? It's fucking, there's no such thing as a free lunch.
That's literally a saying.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but if you want to talk about like ethics and journalism, as a reporter, he should not have accepted a lunch from somebody that he was doing an interview with. Right.

Speaker 5 That's against all the rules.

Speaker 4 Shout out the time Jay Caspian Kang came over and interviewed us, and he bought his own dinner. Yeah, we get pizza for the office.

Speaker 5 And he's like, I can't even eat a slice of this.

Speaker 4 We're like, dude, you can have a slice. We always over-order pizza.
He's like, no, I cannot have a slice. We're like, damn, that is legit journalism.

Speaker 4 Meanwhile, Peter King's just fucking getting double-doubles animal style. Yeah, Peter King.

Speaker 5 On the house. Tell you what,

Speaker 5 all things will be stricken from this record if you just buy us lunch one day. Just have lunch.
In and out.

Speaker 4 I want in and out. Yeah.
Yeah. Freeze in and out.
And you know what?

Speaker 5 Okay, this actually made me pause when we ordered Peter King lunch. We said we got two burgers for you.
And he comes in and like, we're still feeding like a couple of the equipment guys around.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we bought a shitload of them.

Speaker 5 We told them to take some too. Peter immediately takes his two burgers out of the pile.

Speaker 5 Like, that's a situation where you grab the one burger, you eat it, and then you look at how things are shaking out. Yeah, how that of Billy football.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you want to see how things are playing out amongst the people that are eating. You don't want to take two and then have one person.

Speaker 5 He like took, he basically took two burgers and sneezed on them both immediately. I was like, well, I guess no one else can.

Speaker 4 Imagine if my dad walked in, Bob Lang, and was like, hey, where's my burger? Yeah. I would have been mortified.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it would have been very bad looking for all of us.

Speaker 7 yeah i believe he owes you 1067 i didn't realize how cheap in and out but what what did you say fries and milk steaks too oh i didn't say i did two burgers two double burgers 404 each so 808 fries are 187 which brought us to 995 and then uh tax was what about interest

Speaker 4 what about interest tax what if i had put that in an interest what if i had put that in savings for the last two years how much was 1067 two years ago how much yeah what do you have earned in pinned stock oh yeah put it in

Speaker 4 penn stock 1067 in Penn Stock

Speaker 4 two years ago. Two summers ago.
Find out what the price was in 2018.

Speaker 5 I think he owes us like 300 bucks.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So Penn stock in 2018 when we didn't even know that Penn existed.

Speaker 4 We would have totally invested. Actually, no, Bitcoin.
Do Bitcoin. We would have bought Bitcoin.
Do pick Bitcoin in 2018. What was the summer price of Bitcoin?

Speaker 4 I'm going to do an ad and then we'll get that answer. All right.

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ButcherBox is the absolute best.

Speaker 4 ButcherBox is the meat delivery subscription that gives me more time for what matters most, like eating.

Speaker 4 Each month they send a box of the highest quality meat for a better price than the grocery store, which gives me more time to spend cooking and sharing delicious meals with family and friends.

Speaker 4 ButcherBox also has high-quality, humanely sourced meat. So you know you're getting the best quality out there.
That's a fact. You can always bank on that.
And

Speaker 4 butcher box shows up every single month, or you can do it even more if you eat more. But it shows up every single month.

Speaker 4 9 to 11 pounds of meat, enough for 24 individual meals, packed fresh, shipped frozen and vacuum sealed, so it stays that way. And it's the best meat shipped right to my door.

Speaker 4 I always get my butcher box. I'll make a big chili.
I'll make sure that I have a little extra for

Speaker 4 a couple more dinners, but I always start with a big chili because they have great grass-fed finished beef.

Speaker 4 They have free-range organic chicken, heritage pork, wild-caught Alaskan salmon, and sugar nitrate-free bacon. It's basically treat ButcherBox like, hey, this food's showing up to your house.

Speaker 4 Boom, make a chili. What's better than that? What is better than that? And then you still can make some pork chops, some salmon, all of it with ButcherBox.

Speaker 4 ButcherBox is the highest quality meat around for just $6 a meal. And right now, you can get two pounds of salmon absolutely free.

Speaker 4 This is like Hank basically catching the salmon with his hands for free. Go to butcherbox.com slash take.
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All right. So if we had bought, if we had taken the $10

Speaker 4 that Peter King

Speaker 4 robbed us of and invested it in Bitcoin in 2018, the summer of.

Speaker 5 So Bitcoin in July of 2018 was $6K and it would fluctuate around around 6K. It is now fluctuating around 24K present day, so he would owe us $40.

Speaker 4 $40.

Speaker 4 And you're thinking $40.

Speaker 5 I feel like we should retroactively convert that to pen though.

Speaker 4 I think it's more.

Speaker 5 I think pen would be more.

Speaker 5 Pen probably would be more. Pen back then.

Speaker 4 It probably was around $10 a stock, so it's probably right around $90. Probably owes about $90.

Speaker 5 It's $91, right? You know what?

Speaker 4 And add them together. So like $130.

Speaker 4 Okay, the five-year. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So back in 2018.

Speaker 4 And then compound the interest. July

Speaker 5 6th, 2018, it was $34 US dollars.

Speaker 4 Okay, so and then so actually it's less because it's 3x, but compound that interest every single day.

Speaker 4 He owes us about anywhere between $10,000 and $20,000

Speaker 4 for those two burgers that we bought him in July 2018.

Speaker 4 And add in the fact that, actually, you know what we really should do is, hey, Peter, if you don't pay us for those burgers, we're going to take your journalism degree. How much was that?

Speaker 4 Okay, that's like today's price. That was probably $200,000 education.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we need to report him to the governing body of journalism ethics, which would be...

Speaker 4 What school are you going to?

Speaker 4 That's actually just Peter Gammon's phone.

Speaker 5 I was going to say Dan Rather.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I think, I think Peter owes us a lot of money. That's the bottom line.

Speaker 4 Yeah. All right, Peter, pay up.
All right, next game. Texans, Colts,

Speaker 4 protect Deshaun Watson at all costs. We'll get those tweets going.
He was awesome. He's awesome in basically every Texans game, and they lose every single game.

Speaker 4 And they lose in hilarious, terrible, heartbreaking fashion. This time was essentially the same exact thing they did two weeks ago against the Colts.

Speaker 4 Driving, late game, gets them all the way down the field, fumble, game over.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so I think that obviously when the Colts have DeForest Buckner at full strength, they're a different team. Like, he is a guy that makes

Speaker 5 the world and Darius Leonard. Who makes some weeks? DeForest Buckner is a guy that he, I give him my,

Speaker 5 he's like Terrell Suggs, where you just see him on the field and he's fucking scary looking he's intimidating looking and even when he's on the field with like a bunch of other six foot tall 300 pound people you're like that dude is huge how how did a human being am i the same species as the forest buckner but when he's out there making plays like that defense is legit and darius leonard is one of the best linebackers in the league so yeah he forced the fumble i'm starting to come back around on the colts okay i just don't i i they're the my most confusing team yes so the colts to me i'm flummoxed by them.

Speaker 4 The Colts are. So I guess the way I would describe the Colts is they're the most steady.
Like, I don't think their ceiling's that high, but I also don't think their floor is that low.

Speaker 4 Like, they're pretty consistent.

Speaker 5 Well, they lost the Jaguars.

Speaker 4 They did lose the Jaguars week walk.

Speaker 5 That's a pretty low floor.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a different, different, you know, Jaguars, we all thought like.

Speaker 5 It's like a split-level basement. It's pretty low.

Speaker 4 No, but they've beaten some good teams. They've lost some good teams.
They've gotten blown out. They've blown other teams out.
Like,

Speaker 4 they're pretty consistent. I just think that for them to be considered real

Speaker 4 i don't know i just say like phil rivers like if you can if you can pressure him like he is oh he can't move he can't move yeah he just doesn't and also their defense has been good but it's also given up like i think right around 400 yards the last three games so i guess two of those were against the the texans and deshaun watson is still like even on a bad texans team he's putting up numbers i don't know i don't know what to make of the colts i just throw them in the pile of

Speaker 4 whatever. Yeah, they're like, they're not going to beat the Chiefs, so whatever.

Speaker 5 They might, depending who they play in the playoffs, they could win a playoff game. But I think

Speaker 4 if you took the Chiefs out of, if you just eliminated the Chiefs,

Speaker 4 every team in the AFC, I feel like, could get to the Super Bowl. Yeah.
You could make the, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 I still wouldn't trust the Colts to get to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 I feel like

Speaker 4 I'm also going to have a couple game run here.

Speaker 5 I'm very confused, again, by the usage of Jacoby Brissette.

Speaker 5 Seemed like last week we got away a little bit from the like Jacoby Brissette package, which as far as I can tell, the Jacobi Brissette package is just like putting him into a game to make him happy.

Speaker 5 Yes. And which, to be fair, he's got a great smile.
He gets in the game. He doesn't have to do anything.
He can do like a quarterback sneak.

Speaker 4 People like his name. He's got a cool name.

Speaker 5 And then he jogs to the sideline and then he's happy. Yep.
And just a nice way of keeping him happy, I guess.

Speaker 5 But like there's no, there's no like dual threat that you have if you have the platoon of Philip Rivers and Jacoby Brissette.

Speaker 4 It just is what it is. And yeah, so

Speaker 4 Phil Rivers played very well. That pass he made with basically the game on the line up the seam to T.Y.
Hilton to

Speaker 4 get to first and goal. That was a big-time throw.
I think Frank Reich even said it after the game, like, hey,

Speaker 4 he might be our quarterback next year, too. Okay.
Great. Let's keep him around.
Why not?

Speaker 4 They're doing. They're going to be in the playoffs.
You know what I mean? They're playing good football.

Speaker 5 This is as good as you could have hoped for with a quarterback off the street. Yes.
So like getting a new guy in who's a million years old. A million years old, yeah.

Speaker 4 A trillion years old.

Speaker 5 I agree. I don't think that they're going to make any real noise.
But again, they're a very confusing team. So

Speaker 5 I could be totally wrong about the Colts. Like they could catch fire,

Speaker 5 but

Speaker 5 I don't see them doing it.

Speaker 4 I really, so we joke about like Deshaun Watson, protect him at all costs, but there is a sect of Twitter that I think they just don't want Deshaun Watson to ever play another game again.

Speaker 4 It's like getting a rare car and never driving it. They want him to just be safe, but not play football.
Like, hey, don't like protect him, protect him.

Speaker 4 It's like, well, his job is to play football, so he's going to keep playing football.

Speaker 5 He might get hurt. This is our show quarterback.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 4 He's not to be tough.

Speaker 5 It's crazy.

Speaker 4 Like, what do you want here? Do you want him to play or not? Because you keep tweeting that you need to protect him.

Speaker 4 If you search, like, protect Deshaun Watson at all costs, there's a a large like group of blue check marks or something like that who have tweet that basically every week.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's like the

Speaker 5 scene in Spinal Tap where they go and look at the guitars and the guy starts to point out. He's like, don't even touch it.
Don't point at it.

Speaker 5 Don't ever play it. It's not meant to be played.

Speaker 4 Right. That's just to Sean.

Speaker 5 I think that there's like, it's got to be a small sect because I haven't seen it as much as you have.

Speaker 4 But if you search it too, just to get myself pain.

Speaker 5 Yes, you do.

Speaker 4 You seek to get out. You seek out the pain.
No, I do.

Speaker 5 Deshaun Watson is.

Speaker 4 It's just a ridiculous thing to say. Right.

Speaker 5 He's a great quarterback, but the Texans are such a mess right now.

Speaker 5 This isn't going to be a one-year fix for the Texans. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like Bill O'Brien, the crater that he's created, much similar to his own chin, is going to be a tough one to get out of for the Texans because

Speaker 5 they have no assets. They're practically assetless, and they don't really have any weapons.
Although I guess David Johnson, he's a fine player. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. Next up, we got Patriots Dolphins.
Hank, it's over. 11 straight seasons the Patriots went to the playoffs.
That is a record.

Speaker 4 I don't know if he'll ever be duplicate. I guess.

Speaker 5 Well, and they should have gone that way.

Speaker 4 James. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But then you have to also say he'll never get hurt. You know what I mean? Like, it's pretty crazy.
11 straight years of going to the playoffs is insane.

Speaker 4 They officially get eliminated today with the loss of the Dolphins.

Speaker 4 Cam Newton's not the quarterback going forward. He might retire, by the way.
Yeah. Like, I...

Speaker 4 I don't know if he wants to. He's going to get offers.
But I don't know if he wants to be a backup. He's not a starter right now.
Maybe he can play himself back into being a starter.

Speaker 4 But if I were Cam Newton and I made a shitload of money, had like a legacy where MVP, you know, the Auburn days, winning the national title,

Speaker 4 I don't know if I'd want to suck for a few years.

Speaker 4 Well, yes, suck for a few years and have everyone be like, Cam Newton sucks.

Speaker 4 No, he was awesome.

Speaker 5 Well, also, the outfits are tough when you're losing dispatch. Yes.
When you're not playing well.

Speaker 4 He needs to adjust his outfits.

Speaker 4 And he's admitted that, too. He doesn't have backup quarterback outfits.
No. I don't think he owns them.

Speaker 5 You can't be a better dresser than the starter

Speaker 4 backup. That might be part of the reason why he wants to keep playing, though, is because he needs a reason to wear all these outfits he's acquired.

Speaker 4 You think, like, the day he retires, he's going to look in his closet and be like, well, what do I do with this?

Speaker 5 What he should do is he should just, he should give himself... a motivational factor and not allow himself to wear nice clothes until he starts winning.

Speaker 5 Like he should basically get dressed like me for every game. Just show up with whatever he pulls out of Big Cat's pile.
Yep. And then just stand behind the podium.
And then, you know what?

Speaker 5 You get one win.

Speaker 5 Why don't you pop on the bolo tie?

Speaker 4 What do the people like Matthew Berry, not to pick on him, do now after tweeting like 31 teams passed on Cam Newton?

Speaker 5 Oh, I think you just keep saying that. That's still true.
I think

Speaker 5 the people like Matthew Berry, you turn your focus onto Josh Jacobs.

Speaker 4 That was a very quick, like, hey, Cam Newton is incredible. I can't believe all these teams passed on him.

Speaker 4 Maybe teams passed on him because he's been injured and he doesn't look like the same guy that won the the MVP.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so he, it's almost painful watching him throw the ball. It really is.
It's like a four-year-old shooting on a 10-foot hoop.

Speaker 4 It's not, it's not, there's nothing natural about it. No.
It doesn't flow.

Speaker 5 No, I don't think, I don't, I don't think he's healthy.

Speaker 4 No. He's like, watching him throw is like watching Charles Barkley swing a golf club.
There's like hitches and weird things going on. There's still another long-term side effects of COVID, guys.

Speaker 4 That's true. Good point.
That is very true.

Speaker 5 But he did play like a spaz today.

Speaker 5 That fumble that he had was all-time bad.

Speaker 5 There's no more frustrating play in football than when somebody fumbles it right on the sideline and the defense picks it up and runs it back.

Speaker 5 Like, if you're if that's your team that you're watching, yeah, like you go through all the bargaining stages, like he was out of bounds.

Speaker 4 Oh, someone was out of bounds and then touched it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, someone was out of bounds, then touched it. That guy, it looked like his toe was on the line.
Was that a late hit? Could that even be like a 15-yard personal falligan? No, he was in bounds.

Speaker 5 Fuck, we're screwed.

Speaker 4 We're absolutely screwed.

Speaker 7 So while we're on the topic of outfits, the pants are mine.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you want them? No, I'll give them back. I give them back.

Speaker 4 You got to give them back.

Speaker 4 Thank you, though. So,

Speaker 4 Hank, do you want a quarterback in the draft?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Who, where are the. They'll be like mid-first round.
So

Speaker 4 Trey Lance. No, Fields will go higher than that.
Trey Lance? Maybe Zach Wilson?

Speaker 4 BYU kid? Yep.

Speaker 4 Oh, no. Interesting.
What? You don't like him? He's too much of a Patriots picker. Right.
Yeah, Zach Wilson.

Speaker 4 And then the Dolphins.

Speaker 4 So Tua, he had no one to throw to today. Devontae Parker and Mike Kosicki were out.

Speaker 4 He also had that interception, which was a terrible interception in the first quarter or whatever it was, when he was on the goal line. And he just

Speaker 4 went backwards and threw it across his body across the field.

Speaker 4 But he then fixed it later on in the game, and he basically had the same play and ran it in for a touchdown. So

Speaker 4 I feel like he's learning-ish.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the Dolphins. I don't know what it is about the Dolphins, but they win a lot of weird games.
It's like

Speaker 4 a chaotic way about them.

Speaker 5 They've got so many different parts of their team that can play really poorly, but also other parts that can play really well.

Speaker 5 But there's no rhyme or reason to win which facet of the team is going to show up on any given week.

Speaker 4 The Dolphins' vibe is like a 10-year-old with ADD not taking his Riddle in. They have something about them that's just kind of chaotic.
Like, their defense is chaotic. They force turnovers.

Speaker 4 Their offense is a little chaotic.

Speaker 4 I don't know what it is, but they just have a chaotic vibe to them. All their games feel like that.

Speaker 4 And they're always weird scores. Yeah, they're always.

Speaker 4 They're always Berman scores. 22-12?

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're always doing something really well and something really poorly, but the combination of their performance is always a little bit above average. Right.
And, I mean,

Speaker 4 they have a

Speaker 4 defined identity, by the way. They play good defense and they can run the ball.
And, you know, Hope Tua can make a couple big plays. I hope they go to the playoffs.

Speaker 4 I'd like to see them in the the playoffs.

Speaker 5 This was the first time that a Dolphins running back had 100 yards in two years. Wow.
Yeah, it's been a while.

Speaker 5 But it's not like they're a bad running football player.

Speaker 4 Right, they can run the ball. They just don't have a, like, you know, a Derrick Henry.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and they would have some games where Fitzpatrick would somehow get like 55 yards rushing, and then their other running backs would also have 55 yards rushing. Right.

Speaker 5 And they end up at the end of the day, you're like, wow, yeah, they ran for 170 yards today. That's crazy.

Speaker 4 I just, if I were a Dolphins fan, Jake, you are, I would be very nervous about.

Speaker 7 I'm expecting them to go like 10-second and miss the cut.

Speaker 4 Oh, really? I think they'll get to the playoffs. So, are they not right now? I think they're in, but the Ravens.
Oh, yeah, the Ravens, one of the Ravens. The Ravens would be out right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Ravens would be out right now. So, they have a big game on Saturday night against the Raiders, the corpse of the Raiders.

Speaker 4 So, if I were the Dolphins, though, like I'm thinking about it, if they have to go to like Buffalo or Pittsburgh,

Speaker 4 that's when that is an official sign when the candy ass uniforms come into play. When you're out there playing the cold and you're wearing that fucking color, you're a candy ass teal.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the lower you go, the more the teal becomes more of a pastel and the temperature.

Speaker 7 Yes, so you were talking about Salvin.

Speaker 4 Ahmed, 100 yards.

Speaker 7 He told his grandma, who's in the hospital, that he'd get 100 yards for her.

Speaker 4 And he did.

Speaker 4 She calls him the real cheetah. How many games in a row did he say that to her, though? I mean, I don't know.
Is she okay? Did he cure her? I don't know. Is he Babe Ruth? I don't know.

Speaker 4 Like, Babe Ruth definitely went around and just told, like, kids, like, hey, kid, I'm going to hit a couple dingers. Well, he was drunk.
To like everyone.

Speaker 4 And then when it happened, he'd be like, yep, told you.

Speaker 5 He was just hammered going around making bold proclamations and eventually got it right.

Speaker 4 It's like when watching a game with your dad, and he just constantly is like, up game, up game. It's like, well, if you keep saying that, eventually it's going to be.

Speaker 5 I actually imagine it's pretty similar to listening to Pardon My Take. Yeah.
Like where you just say a bunch of stuff. And then once in a while, stick all the ones out.

Speaker 4 We're going to record three pods for you this week. Yeah.
You can do it. Wait, what? You should just tell people, like, I'm going to record three pods for you.
We're doing it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 But we aren't this week. We're only doing two.
Oh, two. Yeah.
That's why I was confused. I was like, wait, what? This is like the one week.
We're not doing that. Yeah.
363 days.

Speaker 4 50 of the 52 weeks. Okay.

Speaker 5 What are Patriots fans going to do in January? Not having football to look forward to on the playoffs. On the weekends?

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 4 I think that's just.

Speaker 4 Who would have ever thought that this would be the day would come that PFD and I are still in the hunt? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Can you imagine your team being eliminated, big cat?

Speaker 4 Nope. Couldn't be me.
I'll be rooting for you guys. And I want you guys to experience, you know, as someone, again, who's experienced two championship parties since this podcast has been birthed.

Speaker 4 I'm hoping for you guys to experience the same thing.

Speaker 5 Are you forgetting about the Washington Mystics and the Washington Nationals and the Washington Capitals?

Speaker 4 Those are not NFL teams. That's true.
I also feel like you're almost taking like a vacation year. It's like a vacation year.
It's a COVID year. Yeah, it's like a vacation year from being in the hunt.

Speaker 4 It's just hard when it's like, you know, 11 straight playoff teams. It's hard to be so down in the dumps.
It's like, right. All right, so good perspective.
It has to happen eventually.

Speaker 4 That's good perspective.

Speaker 5 I'll bet Belichick's going to show up at some college football games, like some of the postseason games. He'll probably go to the Alabama games.
Yes. Just like be on the sidelines as an extra coach.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 All right. Speaking of a team in the hunt, the Bears are back in the hunt.
Bears 33, Vikings 27.

Speaker 4 Matt Nagy, after the game, this was a quote.

Speaker 4 You see when Trubisky has to throw the ball 21 times and we're able to run the ball with the running back for 32 attempts, it makes the offense a lot easier and it's effective.

Speaker 4 No fucking shit, dude. How long did it take you to figure that one out?

Speaker 5 David Montgomery's awesome.

Speaker 5 It's the division of running back.

Speaker 4 It's crazy that he actually had that quote and said it with a straight face. No fucking shit.
Putting Mitch Trubisky in a good situation where you don't ask him to throw 40 times a game.

Speaker 4 You don't ask him to make hard reads. You let him move around in the pocket and make plays with his feet.
Holy fuck, dude. It only took you till it was all over.
Like, it's all over.

Speaker 4 Mitch is playing well. I'm happy for him, but it's over.
And now you're figuring it out?

Speaker 5 I don't know if it's over, though. Like, if this Mitch.
No, I mean, if this Mitch from this week and last week keeps showing up,

Speaker 5 it's not over. You're going to retalk yourself into Mitch Fitzpatrick.
You know what?

Speaker 4 Very quickly. Listen, I love that he's playing well.

Speaker 4 It's over because, just talking realistically here, Matt Nagy is either getting fired, and if he gets fired, the new coach is not going to have Mitch Trubisky.

Speaker 5 My friend, and if the Bears make the playoffs, I don't think.

Speaker 4 No, no, I know, I know. I don't think he's getting fired.
I know, I know. So that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 He's either getting fired, and if he gets fired, he's going to, the new coach will get a new quarterback. And if Matt Nagy stays, he's getting a new quarterback.

Speaker 4 He's not keeping Mitch Trubisky as a quarterback. He's just not.

Speaker 4 And I actually am am happy for Mitch Chabisky because I hope he goes somewhere that he can have a Ryan Tannehill resurgence where, like, if Mitch Dabiski goes to the fucking 49ers

Speaker 4 and gets to be the backup there for a couple years, that would be incredible. I think he would be super successful.

Speaker 4 Like, he has some skills that can get you to a winning, like, that can win you football games.

Speaker 5 I think he's looked really good the last couple of years. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 He did have that one pick. This is very Mitchell.

Speaker 5 There's a chance that

Speaker 5 he becomes the guy in Chicago, and you have to go into next year, and it's Matt Nagy and Mitch Trubisky.

Speaker 4 Well, he's not under contract.

Speaker 4 So it's...

Speaker 4 I would doubt that they're going to pay him money to stay.

Speaker 4 Tell us what he stay. Well, I know.
Well, if he wants to stay for free, I think they would probably let him stay for free. You would take that.

Speaker 5 I don't know, man. There's something that...
Don't do this.

Speaker 5 No, there's something I've seen out of Mitch the last couple weeks. Yeah, you know what it is?

Speaker 4 The Swiss. You know what it is? It's Switch Trubisky.
It's the Lions' defense. It's the Texans' defense.
No, no.

Speaker 5 I think that's a coincidence that's one of those teams. I think that...

Speaker 4 I don't know. He is way better.

Speaker 4 Matt Nagy should be.

Speaker 5 You have to grade this on a scale of Chicago Bears quarterbacks. Like, as far as Bears' QBs go, this has been like, he's been lighting the world on fire.

Speaker 4 Matt Nagy should be fired just because of the fact that he went to Nick Foles with this offensive line.

Speaker 4 Like, Mitch Strubiski makes this offensive line better because Mitch Strubiski can actually move around and avoid being sacked, whereas Nick Foles, God bless him, won a Super Bowl. He's a statue.

Speaker 4 So Matt Nagy's assessment of

Speaker 4 his team and how the quarterback fits with his team was so fucking off in this season that he should be fired for that alone. Yeah.
Like you can't.

Speaker 5 All I'm saying is, don't be surprised when going into next year, you're like,

Speaker 5 I'm going to have to do this again. Mitch and Nagy.
No, he's not.

Speaker 4 It's not happening.

Speaker 4 Matt Nagy's not going to have Mitch Trubisky be his quarterback if he stays.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 4 And I like what Mitch has been doing. And I want Mitch to go away.
I want him to go be some, he needs to find a better home. If he loves

Speaker 4 this home, set it free. This home is not good for you, Mitch.

Speaker 5 If it was meant to be, it'll come back.

Speaker 4 It's a broken home. It's a broken home, broken promises.
But with all that said, the Bears are still in the hunt. And if they win out, they need the Cardinals to lose one game.

Speaker 4 But if they win out, and that could happen because the Packers could maybe start no one in week 17, the Bears will have a decent chance to make the playoffs. I can't believe it.
And whatever.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I don't even know what I'm like.

Speaker 4 I guess I want them to go to the playoffs because then I'll get myself so fucking riled up and then they'll probably get just absolutely shit canned by, I don't know, the Saints or whatever, but who the fuck cares?

Speaker 4 Making the playoffs is awesome.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so you trade.

Speaker 5 If you were to look back on it, you would not trade this short-term gratification for the fact that you would just get bounced in the playoffs, have a worse draft pick, and then Matt Nagy would stick around.

Speaker 5 But in the moment, like, you want to be in the hype for

Speaker 4 against him.

Speaker 5 You can't. And just side note, Justin Jefferson saying, fuck, Kirk, come on, throw the ball.
Yes. Like, we hear you, Justin.
It was awesome. We hear you.
I thought that was me.

Speaker 4 Yes, that was awesome.

Speaker 4 And David Montgomery is very good. So since the run, you know, the run, he's had 434 yards, 6.1 yards per carry, six touchdowns.

Speaker 4 Changed his career.

Speaker 5 MVP-like numbers.

Speaker 4 People laughed at us for talking about the run.

Speaker 4 It literally created the greatest running back in history that run over the last couple weeks yeah everything has opened up yeah he's fun to watch i like him yeah he he finishes runs like hard like he's an angry runner at the end uh but yeah so the bears are kind of back and the defense shout out the defense because they did bail out uh that one terrible pick from mitch but i'm happy for mitch i'm not really happy for matt nagy because i don't really like him but uh is mike simmer just going to keep bringing dan bailey out onto the field i guess so i think so i think he's like fuck it you're going down down with a ship.

Speaker 5 You're not. You know what? Cutting Dan Bailey right now would be too kind for him.

Speaker 5 He needs to stick around and like Mike Zimmer wants him to face the music and like deal with the consequences of his actions. Right.

Speaker 4 Cairo Santos is awesome, by the way.

Speaker 4 It's nice to have that. Like it turns out you just pay a kicker and

Speaker 5 save that clip for a little bit.

Speaker 4 Whatever. I mean if we're in a playoff game, I'll be happy.
Honestly, I will. Because this season has been just a stupid roller coaster of idiocy and dumb shit and drives me nuts.

Speaker 5 I actually think that Zimmer might cut Dan Bailey now after a good game. That was a good idea.
Because

Speaker 5 Mike Zimmer is probably uncomfortable liking his kicker.

Speaker 4 Right, right, absolutely.

Speaker 5 He's like, I fucking hate this guy now that he's good. Absolutely.
Where were you two weeks ago?

Speaker 4 All right. The

Speaker 4 Seahawks and Washington football team. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That game was

Speaker 4 non-divisional game. Non-divisional game.

Speaker 5 As we learned from Mike McCarthy, those don't really matter. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And in a weird twist of fate, like Mike McCarthy might end up being a million percent correct about not caring about non-divisional games this year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the NFC East, all you care about is a divisional game.

Speaker 5 So he's right.

Speaker 5 Dwayne Haskins, again, well, Dwayne Haskins is the most improved quarterback in the NFL from the first to the second half this week. Right.
I've never seen a quarterback.

Speaker 4 Not Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 No, from the, he improved after the first quarter.

Speaker 4 No, they scored zero points in the first half.

Speaker 5 I thought he was better in the second quarter. No, they scored zero points.

Speaker 4 But most improve, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 Okay. Like, Dwayne Haskins was, you can't get worse than Dwayne Haskins.

Speaker 5 I've never seen a quarterback throw for more zero-yard gains in my life.

Speaker 4 The two sacks at the end of the game were very Dwayne. Like, we're like, oh, man.

Speaker 4 Are the Washington football team, are they going to do this? And then he took back-to-back like 15-yard sacks.

Speaker 5 Well, I'd also, if we're being honest, I would count this game probably more in my tie category because they missed an extra point and then they had to go for two.

Speaker 5 So now they're down down three points. And then at the end of the game, they were in field goal range.
Right. Could have kicked a field goal that would have tied the game at 20 apiece.

Speaker 5 So like between this game and the tie that we had against.

Speaker 4 They missed an extra point, so then they had to go for two.

Speaker 5 So they were chasing that point. So they went for two

Speaker 5 and they didn't get it.

Speaker 4 Now they're

Speaker 4 not gotten the extra point. Oh, so they would have had two extra points.

Speaker 5 They would have had two extra points, and then they could have kicked a field goal at the end of tie.

Speaker 5 So between this game and the game against the Giants earlier this year, where Ron Rivera was in fuck it mode and went for two to try to win the game at the end just because he didn't think that it would matter, that's two ties that we could have had on a record.

Speaker 4 Which would be more than the Eagles.

Speaker 5 Then the Lions game was a tie too, if Chase Young didn't push them over. So that's the Washington football team should be

Speaker 5 six.

Speaker 5 What would that be? I'm bad at math.

Speaker 4 Six, six, six, five, and three. Six, four,

Speaker 5 six, five, and three. Six, five, and three right now.
That's what we should be.

Speaker 5 Turns out it's looking right now, we're time traveling, it's looking like it won't really matter that much.

Speaker 4 No, it doesn't because the Eagles lost, the Cowboys won, but they needed to win, and the Giants just lost.

Speaker 4 Maybe

Speaker 4 it turns out, and

Speaker 4 I'll put my hand up here because I was, I never, I don't think I ever said

Speaker 4 strongly, let Russ cook, but I was, I want to see Russ cook. I like watching Russell Wilson throw the football, but maybe, just maybe,

Speaker 4 people on Twitter aren't smarter than head coaches because

Speaker 4 the Seahawks had like a very even game here. Actually, Russell Wilson only threw for 121 yards.
They ran for 181.

Speaker 4 And maybe, just maybe running the ball unlocks Russell Wilson to really cook in less cooking time.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's a possibility.

Speaker 4 Maybe throwing the ball 50 times a game isn't winning football.

Speaker 5 I've been saying, let Chris Carson eat. And Chris Carson, he had, I think he only averaged like four yards per carry today, so it wasn't like a great.

Speaker 5 But Chris Carson is a dude where when he gets the ball, he can like, he's not really a threat to get 100 yards or like 90 yards on a breakaway run, but he'll get like 8 to 12 yards very frequently.

Speaker 4 I think what it is is you just need, you need to let Russ cook, but the cookbook needs to be like 50 easy meals. That you can make it 30 minutes or less.
Yeah,

Speaker 5 let him microwave.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he shouldn't be doing, he shouldn't be making like pastries, cooking pastries for an entire day or like elaborate cakes or occasionally he can yeah, sometimes he can but you don't want him to do that all sometimes having ramen for dinner is perfectly fine had it last night.

Speaker 4 It was awesome. Let Russ cook a hamburger with maybe some potatoes on the side.
And maybe maybe cheese. Yeah, maybe some cheese.

Speaker 5 Like if Russ is cooking a cheeseburger and Chris Carson is bringing like the the side of mashed potatoes, that's going to be a good meal.

Speaker 4 Let Russ warm up his buns on the grill. That always makes you feel like you're really doing something extra.
Yeah. Or

Speaker 5 sprinkle like a little bit of parsley on top. Yeah.
You're like, all of a sudden, this burger is now worth $30 in New York City.

Speaker 4 Right, exactly. Let Russ, yeah, get the pretzel bun.
Let him do that. That's overrated.

Speaker 5 Pretzel buns overrated.

Speaker 4 It makes it feel a little classy.

Speaker 5 It does. It's like, yeah, if you drink a beer out of one of those snifters

Speaker 5 that you can really get the aroma in, that instantly makes a beer snob like... immediately hard.
And it could take like an average beer and turn into a great one.

Speaker 4 A pretzel bun is essentially just saying, hey, I don't want to feel like a sad sack eating a hamburger on my couch. Like, ooh, I got a pretzel bun.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. That's a good point.

Speaker 5 The other thing I had with this game is

Speaker 5 the NFL thought that they could sneak a new type of camera by us

Speaker 5 without any promotion whatsoever.

Speaker 5 And they're sadly wrong. The camera is sweet.
I don't know what kind of lens they were using for that or what it was. They would only have it after touchdowns.
It was down on the ground field level.

Speaker 5 And it's like the same camera that they used to film porn that you have to pay for. That's the only way I can describe it.
It's the porn when you...

Speaker 4 It's the porn when they do, like,

Speaker 4 there's no music or anything behind it. Yeah.
And it's the HD camera. Madison Ivey.
Shout out, Madison Ivey, my comeback player of the year. She got hit by a car.
People forget that. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Well, that was like three years ago. Okay.
But she fucking, she's back, dude. Hell yeah.
She's like all the way back. It's incredible.
Like, Big Ben will never.

Speaker 5 Most porn stars are comeback players of the year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but this is, this is, I mean, she's like 100 pounds. She got hit by a car.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's pretty impressive.

Speaker 4 It's fucking incredible.

Speaker 5 So she's back. It's like the videos where you accidentally click on one and you have to put on the porn goggles, the 3D porn goggles, and you're like, I don't, I'm not that horny.

Speaker 4 It looked like portrait mode. I said that, and Billy was like, wait, that's just an iPhone? Yeah.
Like, no, Billy, I was just saying that.

Speaker 4 But you know, sometimes you take a portrait mode picture and it looks like things are floating, and you're like, ooh, that's too real. Yeah.
Like, let's just go back to the regular. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's what it looked like.

Speaker 5 By the way, if I'm ever wearing any sort of headgear to help me masturbate just kill me just i've watched you do that many times just shoot me in the head at that point i don't want to go on like can you imagine that just like sitting down on your couch calmly and be like all right i'm kind of horny and you you put a fucking helmet on to help you jack off yeah but okay counter argument i feel like Those people are like well-adjusted incels instead of like, let me just rage online incels.

Speaker 5 I guess it's better if

Speaker 5 you're putting the headgear on, you're open about it. Well, and also if you feel shame wearing like the porn goggles.

Speaker 4 No, I think that's a low place. I think that if you reach a point where you're like, hey, look, things aren't going great for me.
Probably not going to be hanging out with real live girls.

Speaker 4 Let me invest some of my disposable income into making my experience better.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to judge anyone for that. I think Glenny Balls might do that.
And I'm not going to judge him. I think he might.
More power to Hank's nodding.

Speaker 4 I think it was just a judge.

Speaker 5 It's not for me.

Speaker 4 But he might also have the goggles. He definitely got goggles.
Right. But as he definitely has done it.
I don't even know if he does it as his routine.

Speaker 5 Right. Can you imagine walking in on somebody wearing those? No.
Just going to town on himself.

Speaker 4 No. It's

Speaker 5 like a time-traveling alien. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's got to be the worst look of all time. Like of all the worst looks being,

Speaker 4 and just imagine like not even, I'd imagine the person not even like, he's got this like jeans at his ankles. So he didn't even step out of the loop.

Speaker 4 You know, when you're like that lazy, you're like, I'm not even going to step out of the loop. I'm not even going to let myself really enjoy this 3D porn.

Speaker 5 I got to sneak a quickie in real quick.

Speaker 4 He just unzips it.

Speaker 4 He didn't even take his balls out of his dick hole on his pants. And he's got the goggles on.
Yeah. Anyways,

Speaker 4 we don't judge. We're a judgment-free podcast.

Speaker 5 The bottom line is the camera that they used in the Seahawks football team game.

Speaker 4 It was pretty cool. Yeah, it was.
It was very cool. It was very, very cool.

Speaker 4 And they did just do it without telling us anything. Have you guys done 4K yet? Have you done 4K?

Speaker 5 That shit's like that. I think so.

Speaker 4 It's not a drug. No, but it makes me sound cool when I say, yo, you tried that 4K?

Speaker 4 I don't know what happened. On your TV.
Yeah. Have you done it? Of course.
But you have to click the button when it says, do you want to watch this in 4K?

Speaker 5 Shit's wild. It's awesome.
Is that like the motion smoothing thing?

Speaker 4 No, I don't know what it is. It's just very

Speaker 4 Fox has it. So like when you're watching college football on Fox, it will say like, you want to watch this in 4K? And every time I say to him, I'm like, giddy up.
Yeah, let's do it. And it's awesome.

Speaker 4 It's very clear. Well, I got to try it then.
But I stay woke. I think Fox has shitty HD cameras because they want everyone to now watch it at 4K.

Speaker 4 They do have the worst HD cameras.

Speaker 5 And they also updated Cletus this week. They did.
Cletus, yeah, he's got like a holiday theme to him. So that was kind of nice.

Speaker 4 I love it.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 5 Well, so the bottom line is how this shakes out. The football team is going to be just fine.
I said going into this week that we didn't need this one. Yeah.
Thruster starters.

Speaker 4 But so you have your

Speaker 4 you told me last week that you have a bottle on ice ready to go if the Washington football team gets into the playoffs.

Speaker 5 What was it? I always keep a bottle on ice.

Speaker 4 Was it a screwball?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's a screwball. Screwball whiskey? You know I have that on.
I keep that motherfucking thing on me. Tell me a little bit about that.
Screwball whiskey is great, Big Cat.

Speaker 5 And I think you know that.

Speaker 5 But it's a peanut butter whiskey. So it's delicious.
You know what's really good in? I did this on Saturday morning. A little screwball.

Speaker 5 little coffee, a little eggnog, all mixed together into one awesome drink. It was delicious.
Nice warm way to start the day. You can put it in old-fashioned.
You can put it into a Manhattan.

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Doesn't matter. Screwball, peanut butter whiskey is extremely tasty.

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Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 Jaguars, Ravens. Not a lot.
Des Bryan scored a touchdown. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Who's back of the week?

Speaker 4 Throw up the X. 1,100 days, 1,106 days since his last touchdown.
That's actually really cool.

Speaker 4 We made fun of him, but because he's very slow. But that's cool.
This was,

Speaker 4 I don't know, the Ravens just love to beat up on teams like this. This was never in doubt.

Speaker 4 I just,

Speaker 4 at some, like, in 10 years from now,

Speaker 4 you'll be able to get like a good laugh out of being like, remember when, like, the Gardner Minshew? That was fucking sick. Yeah.
Minshew Mani.

Speaker 4 I hope that maybe he catches on somewhere else, but it does also feel

Speaker 4 like it's faded a little. I mean, I think he should have a really nice career as a backup quarterback.
Yeah. But that will be a fun Gardner Minshew thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Gardner Minshew was incredible.

Speaker 4 It's kind of like it's the new age.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Joe Webb.

Speaker 4 When I get to say joe webb and and everyone laughs minsu needed joe webb started a playoff minshew i feel like had for a moment we thought he was like oh yeah he was the true we were like why doesn't everyone just draft to gardner minshew yep turns out an all-time part of my take story yeah no i love the guy

Speaker 4 i think he will have a nice career as backup i wouldn't put him i wouldn't uh write him off coming in in the right spot on the right team and saving the team like he is the perfect if i had a team that was set at quarterback looked good all around he's the perfect guy to bring bring in to be like, hey, if our starter goes out for three weeks, Gardner Minshew can win you two games.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no,

Speaker 5 he's going to be a good backup, I think.

Speaker 5 And actually, the play of the week in this game was,

Speaker 5 what's his name? Tyree Phillips, the offensive lineman. Yes.
Ran, he's like 320 pounds running

Speaker 5 for a first down, just truck stick dude. And he had immaculate ball security.
Yep. He had like two hands on it.
None of the Marshall Newhouse stuff. Yep.
Palming it with one hand.

Speaker 5 Who, by the way, he's on the Titans too. The Titans have more boys.
They have all of the boys.

Speaker 4 They've got

Speaker 5 all the boys. But yeah, he had like, when you say that an offensive lineman or a big dude is carrying the football like it's a loaf of bread, that should actually be a compliment.
Yes.

Speaker 5 Because a big dude would, he'd hold that like high.

Speaker 4 I'm hungry.

Speaker 5 I'm not letting you steal my fucking loaf of bread. Yes.
But it was awesome. Like that play made watching parts of this game worth it.

Speaker 4 Yes, I'd agree. That was an awesome play.

Speaker 4 Lamar was, I don't know, he was dicing people up.

Speaker 5 That's about it. He also had a couple head scratchers.
I like calling bad threw his head scratchers.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, that first interception was a head scratcher for sure. Big time head scratcher.

Speaker 5 Big time head scratcher. Life city.

Speaker 4 But the Jaguars are so bad that, like, that was a safety then.

Speaker 4 And then, oh, James Robinson,

Speaker 4 we've shouted him out a few times on Mike Florio's team. No big deal.
But

Speaker 4 last five rookies to have 1,400 scrimmage yards and 10 TDs. James Robinson, Saquon, Alvin Kamara, Kareem Hunt, and Ezekiel Elliott.

Speaker 4 Pretty good groupies in there. Yeah, not that.

Speaker 4 He's something that you have, Jaguars fans, going forward.

Speaker 5 And the Jaguars did lose in the NFL and also won at the same time.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 And now the Jacksonville Jaguars are on the clock.

Speaker 4 That is next week. Next week.
A franchise-altering day for the Jaguars, actually. Let's actually just do that.
Let's just go to the next game.

Speaker 5 So, yeah, we can do a nice segue here and just verbal meme. Adam Schefter tweeted out the Trevor Lawrence Photoshop in a Jacksonville Jaguars uniform again.
Oh. He's done that.
Got it.

Speaker 5 I don't know what the like mass email situation looks like at ESPN, but somehow like him and Field Yates,

Speaker 5 basically everybody at ESPN that's on the air in charge of breaking news got the Trevor Lawrence Photoshop at the same time. Yes.
And now they're just using it willy-nilly. I think

Speaker 5 go one step further and cut his hair into a mullet. Have him really ingratiate yourself into the Jacksonville community, Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 So what we're talking about is the Jets beat the Rams.

Speaker 4 17 and a half point underdogs. The Jets beat the Rams, and it is a franchise-altering win

Speaker 4 because they were going to get Trevor Lawrence, and he does seem like a sure-sure thing.

Speaker 4 It's the most Jets thing possible. The Jets to suck all year, be comically bad, and then pull this game out of their hat.

Speaker 4 and be like, hey, we just did the one thing we weren't supposed to do at the fucking finish line, line, too. Yeah.
Three games left.

Speaker 5 Well, you could say that, or you could say that the Jets were the best 0-13 team of all time. Yeah, they have to be.
Like, this is a statement win.

Speaker 5 Big time. Beating a playoff team.

Speaker 4 They just ran out of the games. Yeah.
They're getting hot at the right time.

Speaker 5 That's true.

Speaker 4 Only half the league goes 1-0 every week. They're part of that team.
They're part of the half of the league. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Do you think that, like, Hugh Jackson has a Miami Dolphins celebration type thing? Like, he pops a bottle of cyanide every time that a team doesn't go 0-16? Yes.

Speaker 5 Like, there has to be some correlation between those Browns teams and the Detroit Lions.

Speaker 4 I'm so pissed that they didn't go 0-16 just so that we can't go around saying that Greg Williams was part of two-thirds of the 0-16 team.

Speaker 5 That does suck.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Dr. Heat.
But so the Jets, this also, for everyone who's like, the Jets are tanking and they're trying to lose. You can't do that in the NFL.
You cannot, like...

Speaker 4 You can't have guys who are all playing for contracts, who are playing a sport like football, go out there and just half-ass it. They all are playing for pride.
They're all playing for tape.

Speaker 4 They're all playing for their next job. So it's like when everyone says, oh yeah, they're tanking.
Yeah, they're bad teams. But no one's trying to lose purposely.

Speaker 5 No, it's just possible. You have to luck into losing all your games or hire Hugh Jackson.
Those are the only two options. That's it.
That's the only way that you, the NFL can smell out.

Speaker 5 inauthenticity and they can tell when a team is trying to tank and just because the way that things work out you're gonna end up fucking it up for yourself if you actively try to do that yeah so and i i don't really know what the rams are doing i don't know what Sean McVay was doing.

Speaker 4 It felt weird. They felt like they weren't, like, they've been behind a couple times this season.
Like, they just,

Speaker 4 you think that they're going to come back and they just don't do it. And then

Speaker 4 I also saw that Sean McVay called Adam Gates this week at 7.15 in the morning, Adam Gase's time, so 4.15 West Coast.

Speaker 5 Did he not stay on? He probably stayed on the West Coast because they played against Seattle last week.

Speaker 4 No, no, Adam.

Speaker 5 He played against.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah, the Jets were out there on the West Coast.

Speaker 4 Nobody Adam Gates said it was 7.15 his time. So maybe they came back.

Speaker 5 He was probably in the same time zone and just added in

Speaker 4 my time. He might have been.
But anyway.

Speaker 5 On Adam Gay's time, it's like the exact opposite of Coughlin time. You're always late for everything.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so he, he, Sean McVay called him and was like, hey, the guys are playing really hard for you. Like, stay the course.
Why would you do that? Why would you give him a little boost?

Speaker 4 Well, he was trying to give him a boost and have it go against him, but it didn't work. Was he? I don't know.
Was he? Why would you do that?

Speaker 5 Well, I've got a couple theories.

Speaker 4 Maybe, maybe

Speaker 5 there was some monkey business going around, and maybe Sean McVay was trying to help out his good friend Bill Belichick, who he also talks to every week, right?

Speaker 5 And helping Belichick keep Trevor Lawrence out of the AFC East.

Speaker 4 Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 5 Trying to gas him up a little bit.

Speaker 4 I actually...

Speaker 4 This is... So Jets fans I know are probably very upset today.

Speaker 5 Well, because, hang on, I'm connecting all the dots. The Patriot, Belichick lost to McVay with the the stipulation that McVay would pay it forward and lose to the Jets.
Yes. So Belichick gets his.

Speaker 5 Things have a way of evening their way out

Speaker 5 when you control everything in the world. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Ernie Adams wrote that comment.

Speaker 5 That's my theory. I'm going to stick with.
So

Speaker 4 Jets fans don't want to hear this because obviously they've been thinking all year, Trevor Lawrence, Trevor Lawrence, Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 4 Is it crazy to say that the Jets might not want to take a quarterback with the second pick?

Speaker 4 I'm not really sold on, like,

Speaker 4 Trevor Lawrence. I'm sold on 100%.
The other guys, I could sell myself on them, but guess what?

Speaker 4 They also have on the who's going to be there in the two-hole is the kid from Oregon, Pineus Sewell, who's going to be an awesome offensive lineman.

Speaker 4 Is it not crazy to say the Jets just went Makai Beckton? They get Pineus Sewell from, I'm probably butchering his name, from Oregon. They now have two awesome offensive linemen.

Speaker 4 See if Sam Darnold could maybe get him for cheap. Maybe be like Sam Darnold, do you want to be a Jet all your life? You've sucked.

Speaker 4 Sign here. It's not that much money.

Speaker 4 You protect him now, which is their biggest issue. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I feel like the reaction to this loss is, all right, well, now Justin Fields. But what if they don't? What if you don't go Justin Fields?

Speaker 4 What if you go the other way and say, hey, let's build up the offensive line, which smart teams do, and see if Sam Darnold, because he's probably going to be somewhat cheap because he hasn't played that well, maybe you can just extend that and keep trying with him.

Speaker 5 In theory, that makes a lot of sense, but it's the Jets that we're talking about here.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I just thought you're going against

Speaker 5 our good friend and resident quarterback guru Billy Football has to say about Justin Fields.

Speaker 4 I don't, I'm not sold on any Ohio State quarterback ever. I know people will say that's biased, but it's the truth.

Speaker 5 Is a better quarterback. But actually, so this was my favorite take for the Jets.
This was my favorite take that Billy had today.

Speaker 5 Billy said, without a trace of irony or sarcasm that Trevor Lawrence, even if the Jets had the number one pick, Billy would not take Trevor Lawrence because Trevor Lawrence has won too much in college.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and so

Speaker 5 he's not going to be used to coming into a losing environment and having to deal with all the pressures that come along with

Speaker 5 having to deal with defeat all the time. So according to Billy, you should never draft a quarterback.

Speaker 5 who's been successful before if you have a bad bad strategy he's always had a supporting catch unlike justin fields okay who has, I guess, lost a lot in college. I think he's had a little more.

Speaker 4 What, what, where? Yeah, what adversity? What is adversity?

Speaker 5 What? I'm just saying Justin Fields.

Speaker 4 He only played six games

Speaker 4 more offense. What adversity?

Speaker 5 He would be able to make more offense in the Jets, sort of discussion.

Speaker 4 So Justin Fields lost one game, right?

Speaker 4 He lost one game last year.

Speaker 5 If you take Trevor Lawrence and then just put him on the Jets, I think he's sort of going to be like, oh, shit, type moment where he realizes that this isn't Clemson.

Speaker 4 And the Jaguars are.

Speaker 5 I think the Jaguars have a better situation.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 5 Than the Jets?

Speaker 4 No statement.

Speaker 4 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But you know what?

Speaker 5 I like the theory, Billy. I'm going to sign up for it.
I just don't know if Alfred Lawrence has won. He's won too much in college to be a successful guy.

Speaker 4 I feel like the reaction is obviously like, all right, with Justin Fields, we're going to just move to that. But I don't know.

Speaker 4 Why not just not take a quarterback and just see if Sam Donald can maybe get a little bit better and maybe actually put some weapons around him and have him behind an offensive line. I don't know.

Speaker 5 I think Sam Darnold, if you think that Mitch Trubisky is scarred and you love him so much that you'd like to see him leave, I feel like Jets fans feel the same way.

Speaker 5 It's like, yeah, he could be good, but you know what?

Speaker 4 Not here.

Speaker 5 You're going to make somebody so very happy one day, Sam.

Speaker 4 So the difference is Mitch Trubisky, and this is not of any knowledge, but I'm just guessing, he doesn't want to be in Chicago anymore because, you know, the Bears benched him. Matt Nagy benched him.

Speaker 4 Like, it's not gone well. Sam Darnold Darnold said last week he wants to be a Jet his entire life.
He's like, I want to finish my career as a Jet.

Speaker 4 I think it's a little different when you have the quarterback that you haven't benched yet. Mitch, once you bench a guy, it's kind of over.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, it's hard to come back from benching a guy and then being like, no, actually, just kidding. You're still our guy.

Speaker 5 If Sam Darnold actually feels that way, then yeah, that's one thing. Like, could the Eagles feel? But if I were Sam Darnold, like, there's just too many bad memories everywhere I look.

Speaker 5 I would be seeing ghosts all the time.

Speaker 4 He said that, though. He said he wants to stay on the Jets.
He's like, I want to finish my career as a Jet. So there's actually another good segue.
Like, could you ever, we'll talk Eagles Cardinals.

Speaker 4 Could you ever imagine Carson Wentz? Like, I can't imagine Carson Wentz starting for the Eagles again.

Speaker 5 Well, he said that he, I think Doug Peterson can't imagine him starting for the Eagles again.

Speaker 4 I think Doug Peterson hates it.

Speaker 5 Doug Peterson has again refused to commit to a quarterback after this game. Yeah.
So like who knows what's going on in his, in his head, but he just, I guess he just can't make up his mind.

Speaker 5 But Carson Wentz said after the game that he wants to remain a Philadelphia Eagle. Much like Sam Donald's.

Speaker 4 Wait, but he said before the game he doesn't want to be a backup.

Speaker 5 You're right.

Speaker 4 Which is crazy because you play like a backup.

Speaker 5 But who knows how that report came out? Like, that was probably maybe his agent said that. I don't know.
But he, like, contradicted that after the game. So things are all over the place.

Speaker 4 I think he contradicted it because

Speaker 4 Carson Wentz saying, I don't want to be a backup. And everyone being like, but dude.
You're playing like a backup. Don't play like a backup and you won't be a backup.

Speaker 4 He looked like a clown, so he had to walk it back and be like, No, no, I want to be on the Eagles, right? But then he's probably telling his agent, trade me because I don't want to be a backup, right?

Speaker 5 He's not, I don't think that you'd want a quarterback that would be happy with being benched.

Speaker 5 Yeah, ideally, like, he's he, Carson Wentz is not going to accept like a backup role somewhere this offseason.

Speaker 4 And Jalen Hurts, like that, the team, I don't know, they just look a lot more alive. I don't understand what did Carson Wentz do to Eagles fans to get them, like they all have Stockholm syndrome.
I,

Speaker 4 the, one of our video guys, Max, he was out there watching the game with us and I said to him, I was like, look how good Jalen Hurts is. Like, do you think everyone on the Eagles hates Carson Wentz?

Speaker 4 He's like, no, no, no Carson Wentz is still like good. And then I was like, do you want Carson Wentz to play right now? I was like, no, but.

Speaker 4 And I asked him straight up. I was like, would you rather have the Eagles win this game with Jalen Hurts or Carson Wentz? And he's like, Carson Wentz.

Speaker 4 Something about Carson Wentz has every Eagles fans in a trench.

Speaker 5 Because they got, well, first of all, they drafted him with the number one overall overall pick or whatever it was two was it two two yeah yeah it's it yeah second overall pick so like that's a guy that you've you always want to be in love with that guy you always want to think like yeah we were right to do that i feel good about that draft in retrospect you want to go back and look at all the haters that uh that downgraded you on draft day and like and and take screenshots of the bad draft recap articles be like why'd you give the eagles a c on draft day we got christian wins he was the starting quarterback in a season when they won that's true

Speaker 5 that is true I think they feel responsible for sort of making him bad because they were mean to him. Well, basically, when Nick Foles won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 You think Philly fans have that feeling of grief?

Speaker 5 Are you talking about guilt?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, that's the wrong city. Yeah.
Well, why do they have such an attachment to him?

Speaker 4 I don't know. It's because

Speaker 4 brotherly love.

Speaker 5 They want him to succeed because they want to believe that he could have won that Super Bowl and he's the continuation of that Super Bowl. Yeah, it's like a combination.

Speaker 5 They don't want to admit that they got anything wrong on draft day, and they also don't want to admit that they were wrong to run Nick Foles out of town.

Speaker 5 But again, like if Nick Foles stuck around, like Nick Foles sucks, you know, he's not, I think that they would be more frustrated with Nick Foles.

Speaker 5 Like, they Philadelphia Sports Talk Radio would be clamoring for Carson Wentz if they had kept Nick Foles around somehow and made him the starter and kept Carson Wentz as the backup.

Speaker 5 Which Carson Wentz needs to have a little better understanding of the dynamics of sports talk radio in our nation's mid-Atlantic region.

Speaker 5 Because if he just sticks around around long enough he's the backup he's a backup and and yeah the the first sign of adversity they're gonna love cars that's every city in america yeah he's just a little short-sighted just like give it time trust me if i know eagles fans they will they will go back to liking the backup quarterback soon enough yes this game was awesome though kyler versus jalen hurts oklahoma quarterback seven touchdowns combined almost the eagles almost found a way to win it um also the cardinals defense vance joseph is a very good defensive coordinator.

Speaker 4 They're playing very good defense.

Speaker 4 They're giving up some points, but they're sacking the quarterback.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I just want to give him a little credit.
He's having a time in his life. Yeah.

Speaker 5 My brain is so twisted. I thought that the football team beat the Cardinals last week for a little bit today just because it was in that stadium.

Speaker 5 I've counted that in my mind as being a Cardinals' win.

Speaker 5 Fun stat.

Speaker 5 This is the first time since 2018 that...

Speaker 5 No, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 The Eagles have not beaten a bird team since September 6th, 2018, when they beat the Falcons.

Speaker 4 That's a long time.

Speaker 5 So I think they're like 0-8 or something like that against bird teams.

Speaker 4 Real problem.

Speaker 5 Real problem up there.

Speaker 4 Real problem with bird teams.

Speaker 5 Larry Fitzgerald had a nice little touchdown. Yep.
It was an ass touchdown. And Larry Fitzgerald, like, he's got a big butt.
He's an ass man. He's an ass man.
And he got one cheek down. Like,

Speaker 5 a smaller ass man would not have had that touchdown.

Speaker 4 Right. A nice little imprint.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 We're all thicknesses.

Speaker 4 I don't know what. The Eagles are still alive somehow, right?

Speaker 5 Are they? Yeah, they're still alive. Everyone's still alive.
They're still alive.

Speaker 5 If the football team loses out, the Giants lose out, and they win out, they can still make it.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 5 It's a possibility.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 4 And I need the Cardinals to lose now. I'm rooting.
heavily, heavily against the Cardinals. That's kind of all I had for this game.
That's exactly it. It was a chaos game.

Speaker 4 Arizona has a nice chaos stadium. They play like late, late Sunday afternoon.
Arizona, that stadium might fill the void of Phil Rivers.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, because it's, I mean, that's where the Seahawks and Patriots play ever since that game.

Speaker 4 Actually, you know what?

Speaker 5 Before that, even when it was like the old shootouts between the Cardinals and the Packers, the Cardinals rivalry,

Speaker 4 it just has, it's a chaos stadium. It's a

Speaker 4 late in the afternoon chaos stadium, which I kind of like.

Speaker 4 All right, last up, Chiefs, Saints. The Chiefs are so fucking good.
The Chiefs are 22-1 in their last 23 games.

Speaker 4 It's pretty good. That's decent.

Speaker 5 Put it to me in calendar years.

Speaker 4 Year and a half. Fuck.
Year and a half, they've gone 22 and one.

Speaker 5 That's incredible. Yes.
Year and a half. And Patrick Mahomes, somehow, you think he's done all the stuff.
You think that there's no more stuff that Patrick Mahomes can do. No more stuff.

Speaker 5 And then Andy Reid is like, hey, I got a new thing that you can do. And whether it's doing the Dr.

Speaker 5 Pepper skills skills challenge, shovel chest pass to Travis Kelsey, or throwing laterals to Le'Veon Bell,

Speaker 5 throwing passes to the offensive tackle eligible.

Speaker 5 There's no more stuff to do.

Speaker 4 The lateral, I think I tweeted like he's just playing a different game. He really is.

Speaker 4 Anyone else does that play and you're like, how stupid is that? He doesn't. You're like, whoa, it worked and it was awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, and the thing about the Chiefs' offense is you know that they're going to take one of these new things that he did and then have that be like a fake element in a play that they run next week.

Speaker 4 Yeah, fake lateral. Right.

Speaker 5 It'll be like a fake, it'll be like a shovel pass to Travis Kelsey who throws it behind his back to Tyreek Hill, scores a touchdown and drinks seven airplane bottles of pickle juice.

Speaker 4 Yep. And the Chiefs are kind of letting, I feel like they just let teams.

Speaker 4 They've killed the Bucs, and they, I feel like they killed the Saints, but they just kind of let them back in for the back door.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the Saints were hanging around a lot.

Speaker 5 It was a bat game for the Saints.

Speaker 4 But it never really felt like the Chiefs were out of control of it.

Speaker 4 Are we worried at all about Drew Brees?

Speaker 4 One for 11 on third down. He started the game 0 for 5.

Speaker 5 He looked so bad.

Speaker 5 He wasn't even able to throw his normal Drew Brees three-yard swing passes.

Speaker 4 Do you think maybe his shoulders hurt?

Speaker 5 Or his ribs.

Speaker 4 I have a new Saints. Saints fans probably just hate me now because I just keep coming up with these stupid theories.
But I think Michael Thomas hates Drew Brees.

Speaker 4 He was... Michael Thomas was playing.

Speaker 4 He was on the IR when Drew Brees was healthy.

Speaker 5 Well, he was on the I punched

Speaker 4 our cornerback and practice R. Drew Brees got hurt.
And there was a little bit of overlap. Drew Brees gets hurt.
He plays, doesn't get hurt. Then Drew Brees comes back.
He goes right back on the IR.

Speaker 4 I think he's trying to avoid Drew Brees.

Speaker 5 You think they just don't like each other?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think he's trying to avoid him.

Speaker 5 I mean, that's as good a possibility as anything else. I think that's more likely than his ribs not.
Do you think that his ribs aren't hurt at all?

Speaker 5 No, I think his ribs are hurt i just think his shoulders also hurt they did make a big deal about like all the different flak jackets he was wearing right and you could tell like drew brees i've i personally think that he's lost about 35 pounds in the last year he's just ribs alone he looks skinny yeah yeah and like he's just he looks emaciated out there yeah but i think maybe some of that was the flack jacket was pushing the shoulder pads up made him look like he was you know like 110 pounds soaking wet i also i mean and still the saints are definitely in the Super Bowl contention.

Speaker 4 Like, they can get to the Super Bowl. They still have,

Speaker 4 they actually made Mahomes kind of run for his life a little bit. Their defense is still very good.

Speaker 4 If they can essentially just figure out a way to survive Drew Brees going to Lambeau, which, again, I don't know if his body can handle it. No.

Speaker 5 Well, they can't handle the pressure of being on an airplane.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 5 You're not allowed to fly with broken bones.

Speaker 4 You can start driving right now.

Speaker 5 Yeah, get up there, take a bus up there.

Speaker 4 Taysom Hill will play the first first two rounds.

Speaker 5 You think Andy Reid, when he was like, when he found out Drew Brees, he's like, yeah, his ribs are tender. His mouth started to water.
He's like, yeah, I bet that.

Speaker 4 Oh, I bet.

Speaker 5 Andy Reid has definitely considered eating Drew Brees today. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 4 Figuring out those ribs.

Speaker 5 The best way to prepare would probably be just like,

Speaker 5 feel like he'd stew him.

Speaker 5 Maybe braise him. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Maybe, maybe, maybe put him in a big green egg.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, maybe a little ketchup on top.

Speaker 4 Yeah, overnight.

Speaker 4 The Chiefs are just so good, though. I don't know.

Speaker 4 So we're at this weird point now where it's,

Speaker 4 I feel like a lot of people don't want to just say, hey, the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl again because we want there to be intrigue and also stating the obvious is lame.

Speaker 4 But the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl again.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't see a way that

Speaker 5 maybe the Bills, maybe those Bills.

Speaker 4 Maybe those Bills, maybe those Browns. Yeah.
But the Chiefs are probably going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 Patrick Mahomes with an eye patch would still be the best quarterback in the NFL. It's crazy.

Speaker 5 If you confiscated one of his eyesights, he would still be. I think, yeah, I just think that he's like that much different than ever.
Is that a phrase? He's that different. He's built different.

Speaker 5 He's built different. That if you made him close an eye, he'd probably still be able to do 70% of the shit that he does right now, which it's just not.

Speaker 5 It sucks for everybody else that's not the Chiefs, just knowing like Chiefs are probably going to win. half the Super Bowls in the next 10 years.

Speaker 4 I was actually going to ask you, at what point are we going to start hating Chiefs fans?

Speaker 4 It's not, we're not there yet, but it's going to happen. And I hope Chiefs fans, I hope you know this Chiefs fans.
You can't win and have America still love you.

Speaker 4 The problem is, like, eventually we're going to hate their most notable fans

Speaker 4 is Paul Rudd, who's the most likable person in the world.

Speaker 5 I know. Fuck that guy.
So maybe, yeah. I think we need to have like one of their biggest fans have some terrible scandal.

Speaker 4 The guy from

Speaker 4 the show.

Speaker 5 The guy from the show. Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 Nick Wright is a Chiefs fan.

Speaker 5 Nick Wright's a Chiefs fan.

Speaker 4 No, the guy from the show.

Speaker 4 Modern Family.

Speaker 5 Which guy?

Speaker 4 The fat guy.

Speaker 5 Does anyone hear that Chef? Is Chiefs Cam?

Speaker 4 Cam. He's a Chiefs fan, right? He's a Chief fan.

Speaker 4 We always said Paul Rodd. Yeah, Paul Rodd, nicest guy ever.

Speaker 4 A little too nice. What's he hiding?

Speaker 5 He dated his underage sister in Clueless.

Speaker 4 Who else? That's true. People don't talk about that.

Speaker 4 Who else? I think that's about it.

Speaker 5 Joe Buck?

Speaker 4 Jackson Mahomes.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Jackson Mahomes. We need Jackson to come out and

Speaker 5 have like a big winter online for people to get really riled up.

Speaker 4 What's his name? Fuck.

Speaker 4 Rob Riggle. Rob Riggle's a Chiefs fan.

Speaker 7 Rob Riggle, Jason Sudakis.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 Rod Pigs. This is the problem.

Speaker 4 These guys are just too nice. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Rob Lowe.

Speaker 4 They win in a couple more Super Bowls. Rob Lowe's going to start being a Chiefs fan.
God damn it. All right.

Speaker 4 Well, Chiefs fans, look, we don't hate you yet, but I'm just giving you the warning that you guys are too good, and eventually America will turn up.

Speaker 4 It happens to everyone.

Speaker 5 The other problem is the team is almost too fun to hate. Yeah, I know that.

Speaker 5 They would have to not only have some sort of massive Pizzagate-style blow-up amongst their entire fan base, but also completely play a different style of football.

Speaker 4 Right, right. So we'll see.
We'll see.

Speaker 4 They basically, do they have the one seed kind of locked locked up now, right? Who do they play?

Speaker 4 Who do they have left on their schedule? Find that for us, Jake. I think it's probably, it's got to be like the Broncos, maybe.
No, they already played the Broncos. They play the Chargers.

Speaker 4 Actually, the Chargers kind of gave them a good game. Remember that?

Speaker 7 Home Falcons, home Chargers.

Speaker 4 Home Falcons, home.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So they got the one seed.

Speaker 4 Whatever.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's do our Football Guy of the Week before we do that.
PFT.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys?

Speaker 2 It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

Speaker 1 How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 2 It starts with a shot of Proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey because Real Friends don't let Friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

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Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 2 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 2 So get out there and make your Irish entrance.

Speaker 1 Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 football guy of the week, Jake.

Speaker 4 So the most

Speaker 7 nominated thing I got tagged in all year long was the heart attack high school coach, right?

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 7 Second was this lion center, Frank Ragnow.

Speaker 5 The throat fracture.

Speaker 7 Suffered the fractured throat.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And

Speaker 4 he's okay. So I think.

Speaker 5 If you're a center,

Speaker 5 do you have to communicate verbally during games? I'm pretty sure you have to call out the mic, right? Right. So

Speaker 5 how is he doing that?

Speaker 4 I think he was writing on a piece of paper and slipping it past.

Speaker 5 Just using ESP to the other lineman?

Speaker 4 Pointing at him, yeah.

Speaker 4 Grunting.

Speaker 7 So he's our first nominee.

Speaker 4 I think he's going to win it. Probably.

Speaker 7 Friend of the program, Sean McVay, who spent his off day last week watching 12 straight hours of football on the Red Zone channel.

Speaker 7 And when his fiancé asked if he wanted to do anything else, he said nope.

Speaker 5 Okay, well, first of all, Sean McVay, you're a fraud because it's not 12 hours of football on the Red Zone channel.

Speaker 5 So, anyone that's ever watched the Red Zone channel would know that they start it by saying what?

Speaker 7 Seven hours of commercial free football.

Speaker 4 I don't know, I think.

Speaker 5 Seven hours?

Speaker 5 No, I'm talking about Hanson. Hansen says,

Speaker 4 I don't seven hours.

Speaker 5 Commercial-free football starts now. So, Sean McVay, football card revoked.

Speaker 7 Next, Nebraska linebacker Garrett Nelson. This was actually

Speaker 7 nomination courtesy of Will Compton, who you mentioned earlier, who played through missing two teeth after a tight end put his shoulder into his jaw.

Speaker 7 He said he put some straws in there once in a while, and it's pretty fun.

Speaker 4 That is fun. Losing a good time.

Speaker 5 Two teeth. Two teeth.

Speaker 4 Not that many.

Speaker 5 As our friend Chris Long would say, a hockey player could never.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 4 A little feel good story.

Speaker 7 Colts punter Rigoberto Sanchez resumed punting duties today with Indianapolis just 20 days after getting a cancerous tumor surgically removed.

Speaker 4 Okay, Football Guy of the Week, go vote for it.

Speaker 4 Some good nominations this week. Good nominations.
Do we do Baby Braun of the Week, or do we just say it's Charlie Woods? Because it's Charlie Woods.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's probably Charlie.

Speaker 4 It's probably Charlie Woods. It's probably Charlie Woods.
Boy, are people fawning over Charlie Woods?

Speaker 5 And does Bryant.

Speaker 4 And does Bryant.

Speaker 5 I feel mildly uncomfortable with the Charlie Woods.

Speaker 5 I think it's great.

Speaker 4 Charlie Woods, awesome golfer.

Speaker 5 Pretty cool to see him out there playing well.

Speaker 5 the level of like we need more video of tiger woods's son it's uh well

Speaker 4 what in people's defense

Speaker 4 they were promoting this event but not showing it

Speaker 4 wait what

Speaker 4 it like wasn't on tv it was like a delay so it was like people were seeing the social clips but you couldn't find the actual broadcast of it until later in the afternoon.

Speaker 4 But it is also kind of weird.

Speaker 5 I'm saying it's like we're reliving time. Yeah.
And completely forgetting all the lessons.

Speaker 4 Let's make Charlie Woods our savior for golf.

Speaker 5 And he's, what, 11?

Speaker 4 Let's put all of our hopes and dreams on Charlie Woods' tiny little shoulders. This won't fail.
He'll become a well-adjusted adult like his dad.

Speaker 5 I hope that he gets so hyper-competitive that he actually hates playing with his dad because he keeps losing with him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yes, yes. Although, dude, do you see that swing? He probably beat Tiger now.

Speaker 5 I mean, 250 yards on a fucking rope.

Speaker 4 He did that?

Speaker 5 Well, he put it within like four yards. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Shit. The pictures were amazing.

Speaker 4 It looked like a crazy, expensive Nike ad.

Speaker 5 My question is: when they practice, do they intentionally just always swing the club at the same time? Because every single clip that I've seen has them warming up and it's like synchronized swings.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Is that like, that's probably intentional?

Speaker 4 Yes, it has to be.

Speaker 7 Don't quote me on this, but I think I've heard once that it's bad etiquette at the driving range to swing at the same time as the person next to you.

Speaker 4 Oh. Yeah.
I don't know if that's right. That's a bold statement by you, Jake.
No, don't quote me. Okay.
All right. I'm going to quote you.

Speaker 7 When I'm at the range, I try not to swing at the same time as the person next to you.

Speaker 4 So are you? You're like

Speaker 4 a super nice guy.

Speaker 5 Are you blaming Tiger or Charlie?

Speaker 5 We see that Charlie is bad.

Speaker 4 Blame the 11-year-old, Jake. Yeah, do it.
Let's do it.

Speaker 4 Charlie Woods is bad.

Speaker 5 He's the Riley Curry of golf.

Speaker 4 Have some balls. Blame the 11-year-olds.
I don't know. Golf player will let us know.
Yeah. Should we talk a little college football? So the Final Four is out.

Speaker 4 It is Alabama 1, Clemson 2, Ohio State 3, Notre Dame 4. Texas A ⁇ M fans are mad.
Cincinnati fans are mad, which I can kind of actually understand Cincinnati fans. Do you have any takes?

Speaker 5 About Cincinnati fans?

Speaker 4 No, just in general. I think they got it right.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they probably did. But if you're in Cincinnati, just take this to, you can claim your own national title.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just

Speaker 5 by all means, like, this is your chance to be UCF.

Speaker 4 Go win your bowl game.

Speaker 5 We played and we played. We went undefeated.
Yep. Their schedule wasn't that soft.

Speaker 5 They had like a...

Speaker 4 The problem was that all the teams they played ended up kind of sucking.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but that's not the problem.

Speaker 4 SMU kind of sucked. UCF had a down year.

Speaker 5 Play who you play. Yeah.
But still, if you're Cincinnati, take this occasion. You have a national title.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, I always, I've been repping Cincinnati all year.
I thought they were a good team. It's, I get it.

Speaker 4 I get it because people are like, well, Notre Dame's just going to get killed by Bama, but everyone would get killed by Bama in that spot.

Speaker 4 And if we're going to reward resume, Notre Dame had a better resume than Texas A ⁇ M. I'm sorry.
But it's just, a fact. It's true.
The people who actually have a gripe, I'm going to get mad for.

Speaker 4 Indiana fans should be upset, and they have a right to be upset because Iowa State has lost three games and they're going to New Year's Six Bowl.

Speaker 4 And Georgia lost two games and they didn't beat anyone and they're going to a New Year's Six Bowl. Indiana should have gone to a New Year's Sixth Bowl.

Speaker 4 They should be ahead of a three-loss Iowa State team. It's stupid.
That part is stupid. You have every reason to be upset about that.

Speaker 4 And Army. Yeah, if you're an Army fan out there, Army not getting to it.

Speaker 5 Respect bowl season Mississippi State.

Speaker 4 They went 9-2. They were Army Forces Bowl and they're 3-7.
That's wild. Well, I mean, yeah, everyone gets to a bowl game.
Wisconsin's playing in the Mayo Bowl. But how are you not going to put

Speaker 4 Army in the Army Forces Bowl? I don't know. I don't know.
That makes no sense. Bowl season is going to be very weird this year.

Speaker 5 Wait, who is Wisconsin playing against?

Speaker 4 Wake Forest. Oh, that would be awesome.
Duke's Mayo Bowl.

Speaker 5 That'd be sick if it was like Wisconsin against BYU in the Mayo Bowl.

Speaker 4 In the Mail Bowl. Yeah, that would be sick.
But yeah, Indiana fans, you have every right to be upset. It's bullshit.
The three-lost Iowa State team shouldn't be ahead of you.

Speaker 4 Georgia didn't beat anyone. And Texas A ⁇ M fans, I know you're upset too, but whatever.
You lost to Bama by fucking like 30.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and with Notre Dame, it was weird the timing of the quotes that came out from Brian Kelly saying like, I'm not sure if we want to go play in the playoffs if our families can't be there.

Speaker 4 He was like nagging them.

Speaker 5 Why did he say that before the game

Speaker 5 even started?

Speaker 4 I don't know. I don't know.
And I get it. Notre Dame looked terrible against Clemson, but they still beat Clemson earlier in the year, and their win against UNC was very impressive.

Speaker 5 So, I don't know.

Speaker 4 They have a good resume.

Speaker 4 The four best teams are in, and it's going to be Alabama Clemson. Okay, so get ready for Alabama Clemson.

Speaker 4 If it were up to me, I'd say instead of going eight-team playoff, just have Alabama and Clemson play a three-game series. Right.

Speaker 4 Play home, home, and then one neutral site if it goes to the deciding game.

Speaker 5 I'm fine with that. And also put Army in because that is fucked up that Army.
I want to make a point of that.

Speaker 5 I agree. They're an entire team of fullbacks.
They're America's team. And you've got South Carolina who fired their coach.

Speaker 5 Were they two and eight?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 South Carolina is going to a bowl game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, every team gets to go to a bowl game this year.

Speaker 7 It's kind of crazy how bowl season just starts today.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No break.
I know. Oh, really? Yeah.
You're going right into it? Upstate North Texas today, 2:30.

Speaker 5 Let's go. All right, it's football week.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, there's still a bunch of bowl games. It's going to be very weird.

Speaker 4 And yeah,

Speaker 4 that's.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't know really what, like, the Rose Bowl is not going to be. Or, sorry, the semifinal is not going to be at the Rose Bowl.
I don't even know if the Rose Bowl is happening.

Speaker 5 They moved it from the Rose Bowl.

Speaker 4 Jerry's World, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so

Speaker 5 are they still going to call it the Rose Bowl?

Speaker 4 I think so. That's still the Rose Bowl game presented by copyright.
I like that.

Speaker 5 I kind of like sponsorships.

Speaker 5 That's such a troll move that I kind of like the fact that it's going to be be the Rose Bowl in Texas.

Speaker 7 Well, the Olympics are 2020 Tokyo still.

Speaker 4 Oh, really? Where are they playing? No, we're redoing 2021. 2021.
Oh, yeah. But they're still being called the 2020.
I mean, the Rose Bowl has been played in North Carolina before in 1942 after

Speaker 4 Pearl Harbor. So I guess there's precedent to have the Rose Bowl in a different place.
But yeah, this. And then I don't know what's going to happen with the Heisman.

Speaker 4 I was tweeting about it a lot on Saturday night. I bet Trevor Lawrence is 20 to 1 to win on

Speaker 4 Thursday or Friday. So hopefully

Speaker 4 he wins, but I don't think he will.

Speaker 4 I was just doing it because I was hoping that there's enough stupid college football voters out there

Speaker 4 who didn't watch any of the college football, and then they see the names, they're like, who's Mac Jones? Oh, but I know Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 5 I mean, I think that the whole conversation about the Jaguars getting the first overall pick and it being a lock for Trevor Lawrence gets that narrative out there enough where everyone

Speaker 4 picked the highest.

Speaker 5 He's the best player in college football. It's a fact.

Speaker 4 It's a fact.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's finish up the show.
We got Who's Back of the Week to finish us up. And then, reminder, we have a show on Wednesday this week.
No show Friday. That's Christmas Day.

Speaker 4 We'll be back Monday and Wednesday, Monday for next week because we're going to recap week 16. So it's a regular show.
And then Wednesday will be best of.

Speaker 4 So that is our schedule for the next two weeks.

Speaker 4 Who's Back of the Week? Brought to you by McDonald's. The McRib is back.
PFD's been eating the McRib a bunch. The McRib is the most important sandwich of the year.

Speaker 4 The McRib is officially back and available for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Some cities get the McRib every year, but others have gone up to seven years without the McRib.

Speaker 4 The longer places have without it, the more outcry for it to return. There is.
The McRib has appeared in lots of shows from The Simpsons to Family Guy and more.

Speaker 4 The New York Times, Vice, Time, and more have featured op-eds about the McRib. People have driven over state lines to get a McRib because it's not available in their area.

Speaker 4 And one man started a McRib finder that told people where the McRib is available and when. Some of them decided to just find ways to make their own McRib when it isn't available.
So go get the McRib.

Speaker 4 McRib is back. Limited time at Participating McDonald's.
How can you not get the McRib? It's an event. PFT, literally, I see him every Wednesday.
He gets his McRib.

Speaker 5 That's my McRib day.

Speaker 4 Looks delicious. Two McRibs, fries.
I might get a McRib tomorrow.

Speaker 5 And a McDonald's sprite.

Speaker 4 I might get a McRib tomorrow. Yep.

Speaker 4 All right. So go and check out the McRib limited time at Participating McDonald's.
Hank, who's back of the week? My Who's Back of the Week is those moral cheating scumbags over at Dude Perfect. Oh,

Speaker 4 that was going to be my Who's Back of the Week. Damn.
The Dr. Pepper challenge was back kind of this weekend.
Not really.

Speaker 4 But Dude Perfect, for whatever reason, hosted one of these Dr. Pepper challenges.

Speaker 5 I hosted all of them.

Speaker 4 Not all of them. One was Brady Quinn versus Matt Lyon.
Yeah, like I was, it seemed like some of them were virtual. Then the one I watched was Dude Perfect.
Anyway, I'm watching it.

Speaker 4 The girl on the left, Shamari, was just throwing darts, had a comeback win at the last second. It was tied 7-7, last second, threw it in.
It went in. She scored at the buzzer.

Speaker 4 They disallowed it, said it didn't get off in time, even though there's a screenshot clearly showing that the ball was released with time on the clock. Fuck the AR.

Speaker 4 It went to overtime, and she lost to a kid named Tate.

Speaker 4 So it's just like, clearly, Dude Perfect had an agenda.

Speaker 4 They didn't want to let this girl win. They made sure their fucking Tate

Speaker 4 Tate

Speaker 4 won the $125,000, taking money away from this girl who needed it for college.

Speaker 5 They looked around and Dude Perfect was like, we're missing one thing and that's a Tate.

Speaker 4 We've got...

Speaker 5 And Beardo, by the way, put himself front and center.

Speaker 5 If I was Dude Perfect,

Speaker 5 I never realized how much tall guy and purple hoser carry Dude Perfect until I was subjected to it to it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they're pretty good.

Speaker 5 They're nice role players. But like seeing Beardo solo, like strictly Beardo, after

Speaker 4 himself.

Speaker 5 It was disgusting.

Speaker 5 It was honestly sickening. I felt ill watching him hog the spotlight while the twins were like an afterthought.

Speaker 5 I think I saw the twins in like one drone shot when they had, when Beardo was going out on his motorized skateboard, like avoiding all the obstacles and then making it all about himself, throwing a trick shot in from half court before we're here to watch these kids try to earn free school for themselves.

Speaker 5 it was it was disgusting.

Speaker 5 There's no I in Dude Perfect.

Speaker 4 Yep. I don't know how they sleep at night, honestly.
It's gross. It's gross.
I didn't even go back to the replay. Like that, you know.
That girl was a little bit of a drink. Clues Day.
Clues Day.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 She could have gone to college and cured cancer. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Congratulations. Dude Perfect.
You made this semester.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Butterfly effects.
Ruined the world.

Speaker 5 She killed millions of people, Dude Perfect.

Speaker 4 Now she's going to have a bunch of total to like 100 million. Yeah, she's going to have a bunch of tuition

Speaker 4 loans that she then has to take whatever whatever job out of college just to pay the loans instead of maybe becoming a doctor. Like, you ruined everything.

Speaker 5 You ruined everything, Dude Perfect. It's really sad.
Dude Perfect is an indictment on the entire American educational system. Yep.

Speaker 4 Yep. PFT, so that was your who's back as well.

Speaker 5 Well, I was considering talking about Dude Perfect.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that'll be my who's back. Okay.

Speaker 4 My who's back is Martin Shkrelli, recurring guest. Kind of weird that this happened after we talked about him the other day, but he's actually trending right now.

Speaker 4 I can't wait to read this story tonight. So apparently, there's a journalist who spent a year

Speaker 4 interviewing him and fell in love with him and got divorced, moved out of her house, all because she fell in love with Martin Shkrelli. It looks like a wild story.

Speaker 5 You're missing the best part. Yeah.
He ghosts her.

Speaker 4 Dude, I just said I was going to read it.

Speaker 5 Well, people at home aren't going to read it.

Speaker 4 But I was going to read it. Why won't they?

Speaker 4 Well, that's a funny story. I'm sure a lot of people will read this.

Speaker 5 It's like, okay, I won't say that. It's the biggest story out there right now.
And it does look like a wild ride. I'm very

Speaker 4 threw away her entire life for Martin Skrelly.

Speaker 5 To be fair, Martin Skrelly is like super charming and incredibly hot. Like, that dude is...
Man, that guy's got it all going on.

Speaker 4 Why did Christy Smith upend her life and stability for Martin Skrelly, one of the least liked men in the world?

Speaker 5 Probably because he fucks.

Speaker 4 Oh, man. Man.
All right, what's your who's back? Billy.

Speaker 4 Should we talk about it? Yeah. You're going to fight Jose Conseco as my champion.

Speaker 5 Jose Conseco is trying to beat up Big Cat.

Speaker 4 Well, all right.

Speaker 4 Backstory. So two years ago, two years ago, I think Jose Conseiko was going at A-Rod for something.
I was like, I'm going to have to fight Jose Conseco

Speaker 4 at Rough and Rowdy. Now,

Speaker 4 I think we talked to him or something. There were some kind of weird stipulations.
Either way, Jose Conseco is now calling me a coward. Listen, dude.
Yeah, I probably am at this point. Hand up.

Speaker 4 There's a couple things that have happened in those two years. One, I got two years older.
Two, I became a father. Three,

Speaker 4 we did the pen deal, and I don't need the money as much as I did two years ago. That's just stating facts.

Speaker 4 So if you want to call, if you add all that up and be like, hey, you're a coward, I'll fucking put my hand up and be like, yeah, I'm a coward. I don't care.

Speaker 4 Call me a coward. Whatever.

Speaker 5 Just play the dad card all day.

Speaker 4 Well, I just, I don't, I will, if that is a coward, then I will absolutely say I am a coward, hand up. But I have found a champion in my place.
Learn Game of Thrones, Jose. Ever heard of it?

Speaker 4 My champion is Billy Football. I will have him fight in lieu of me, which I think is that's those are the rules.
Like, if I can find a champion for me, yeah, for sure. Billy is fighting for my honor.

Speaker 5 He's your fall guy.

Speaker 4 Right, he's one of the two. Right.

Speaker 5 Anyway, I have to fight 6'4, 250-pound Jose.

Speaker 4 All right, so here's the idea. I'm ready.
I'm ready for it. No, Billy is

Speaker 5 Billy is obsessed with size, just like in general.

Speaker 5 In the animal kingdom, Billy has a weird thing where he he respects jose conseco's mass so much that he's like this dude he's just big so you think that he can have you watched him fight yeah he sucks at fighting billy thought billy is less concerned about jake paul who actually wants to be a professional boxer because billy thinks he's an inch taller than him than he is jose conseco is 56 years old and looks and fights like an alligator well just like in in lieu of things like if i were to get into a boxing match with jake paul i'd have a little weight on him if we got into those like wrestling things where they you know link up, I'd be able to toss him around and make sure I don't die.

Speaker 4 You got this guy. This guy's huge.
No, no, I'm totally ready now.

Speaker 5 I've thought about it.

Speaker 4 So Jose, you're

Speaker 4 like, I'm a coward. Hand up, whatever.
I don't care. Call me all the names, but I have my champion.
He is Billy Football. He will fight in my place.

Speaker 4 I have a sneaking suspicion that Jose needs this fight more for his own relevancy at this point in his career. So either you can fight Billy Football or we can just be like, I'm a coward and move on.

Speaker 4 Yeah, or like those are easy options.

Speaker 5 So, Billy, I know you're a little intimidated by him, but

Speaker 5 you need to get past that. Jose,

Speaker 4 Jose,

Speaker 5 my guess is he's probably going to take steroids before this fight. Yes, get he's right now.
He gears, it looks like you left a basketball in the sun for a couple of days.

Speaker 5 I don't think he can afford steroids at this point. So, I'm

Speaker 5 not

Speaker 5 so he can't afford steroids. Worst comes to worst.

Speaker 4 What if I went, what if I, what if I, Jose, Billy, don't listen to this part.

Speaker 4 Yo, dude, stop calling me a coward online. I'll pay for your steroids.

Speaker 4 That's a good deal. I might DM him and say that.
Be like, hey, can you quit it with the coward shit? But like steroid buffet on me.

Speaker 5 I think he would take. No, Jose, it's probably more important to Jose to be allowed to call somebody a coward.
He just tweeted. And to get money.
Judging by his past financial methods that he's used.

Speaker 4 Well, the options on the table, Jose.

Speaker 5 He's also a world-class snitch. People don't talk about that with Jose.
Yeah, he's a rat snitch, I think.

Speaker 4 Yes. Anyway, all right, so you'll fight him, or we'll stop talking about it.
Yeah. Like, that's one of those ones that, like, let's just either do it or no.
Because I think I said this two years ago.

Speaker 4 I was, I fell asleep for a 22-minute nap on Saturday. It's like my only nap all week.
And I woke up and I was like, what is going on? Where is this clip from? Oh, it was two years ago.

Speaker 4 So that's, Billy, you are my champion. So I'm not scared of him.

Speaker 5 Worst comes to worse. I'll just run away in the ring and just get out of line.

Speaker 4 No, no, no. No, Billy.
But I will.

Speaker 4 That's at this point.

Speaker 5 I'm not scared of him, but if I do fight him, I will try to avoid him. Basically, I'm not going to outmuscle him.
I'm going to use my athleticism and basically youth to beat him.

Speaker 5 It's not going to be an easy task. It's going to take a lot of training.
I'm like hyped because I finally have another athletic goal in life and need those because

Speaker 5 it's always more fun to like.

Speaker 4 That's really where I fall off because

Speaker 4 if I can put myself back in my time of like when i said that i think that was right when i was like hey this will be my last shot of trying to get in shape that is passed i'm done with that yeah but that whole like hey maybe if you work out really hard you can get it back like that's once you have a kid it's over and and don't sell yourself short you did you ran a marathon with zero days training right i am sort of a freak athlete yeah yeah i'm not yoking like if we're being honest

Speaker 4 i'm kind of like

Speaker 4 billy might be one of the best athletes of all time no not actually.

Speaker 5 But I'm fighting the human steroid, and I'm not going to out-muscle him. So I got.

Speaker 4 Well, you might, because you might also take steroids. I don't think I will.
Which I will pay for. But I've recently

Speaker 5 recently discovered that I might have a thyroid problem, so I need to meet with an endocrinologist in the

Speaker 4 New York City.

Speaker 4 So if you

Speaker 5 don't have thyroid problems, discuss his thyroid problems.

Speaker 4 Discuss my thyroid.

Speaker 5 I think I have a lot of TSH or something. So if you're an endocrinologist in the New York City area, please, you know,

Speaker 4 my DMs. And I will pay for the big cat.

Speaker 4 I will pay for all the the steroids in this fight.

Speaker 5 I'm not going to do steroids, but I might need to balance out my

Speaker 4 pedocological hormones. Sure.
Okay.

Speaker 4 So I'm excited for it, Billy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm actually so.

Speaker 4 I don't think it's going to happen because I just don't think Jose is going to do it.

Speaker 5 I've been DMing with Jose, and

Speaker 5 it's a wild ride.

Speaker 4 Does he sound like he's going to do it?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but there's a, he's...

Speaker 4 He... We've tried to get him on the show before, and I think he said it's like $10,000.
Yeah. And we're like, okay, no.

Speaker 5 And then his producer kept hitting us up for the next year, being like, yo, I heard you talking shit about Jose on your podcast again. When are you going to have him on?

Speaker 5 We're like, buddy, that ship has sailed.

Speaker 4 But also, just on the record. The heroes are the only people to ever ask for money to appear.
On the record,

Speaker 4 I don't want to even talk shit about Jose because I don't want to even think about like,

Speaker 4 there's nothing more annoying than having someone hit us up and be like,

Speaker 4 we should come on, but you got to pay us. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I remember reading Jose Conseco's book when I was in college.

Speaker 5 That thing sucked. Actually, my favorite part was when he was like, also in the late 80s, I could have fucked Madonna, but I didn't want to because she wasn't hot enough.

Speaker 5 He like tossed that in at the end of one of the chapters. That's actually kind of fun.

Speaker 4 It's like respect. Yeah.
Yeah. Respect.
Turn her down. All right.
So we're good. We're clear.

Speaker 4 I am a coward. I'm cool with that.
Billy is my champion.

Speaker 5 I'm like, legitimately, I'm just going to dance till he gets runs out of gas.

Speaker 4 No, dude, you're done with hell. You're fighting him.
Yo, I'm going to beat the damage.

Speaker 5 Why are you telling him you're Billy and the first thing I got to do?

Speaker 4 Notiating himself out. Fuck up, Billy.
I'm going to get him to go. Stop talking.

Speaker 5 Stop talking. Billy.

Speaker 4 Forever. Billy called me me on Saturday night at like 9 p.m.
and was like, dude, are you guys, like, are you and Dave like

Speaker 4 negotiating with Jose's people right now? I'm like, no, dude, it's fucking Saturday night. We're not doing anything.

Speaker 5 I would honestly like to see the end result of the negotiations if it was just Billy and Jose handling it entirely the same.

Speaker 4 We are in the DOB. I'd have to fucking fight.

Speaker 4 He'd fucking get me back.

Speaker 5 They'd probably just, they'd end up becoming bros and not want to fucking.

Speaker 4 I was reading his Twitter.

Speaker 5 Like, he wants to go look for Bigfoot.

Speaker 4 Oh, Oh, no, dude.

Speaker 5 You and Jose Konseko. The only difference between you and Jose Konseiko is you don't have a triple crown yet.

Speaker 4 I actually think Jose Konseiko, for every, like, there's a lot of bad stuff, whatever, but I think he's legitimately a funny guy.

Speaker 4 I wanted to do a, like, this is like seven years ago. We wanted to do a camp out in his backyard and hunt for Bigfoot.

Speaker 5 Dude, I actually would, after we fight, I would totally be down for that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you'd be good friends with him. Yeah.
You guys would be broken.

Speaker 5 Just make sure that it's him that shows up and I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 Let's go here

Speaker 5 Because he's substituted Ozzy in the past. I've already analyzed the tattoos.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got that down? Okay.

Speaker 4 Oh, nice. All right.
Let's send everyone on their way. Numbers? Happy Friday.
33. No Monday.
What? Jesus. Billy.

Speaker 4 What's wrong with you?

Speaker 5 33.

Speaker 4 8. I'll go 100.
I'm going to say happy holidays. 99.
Oh, you asshole.

Speaker 4 One.

Speaker 4 Would you eight?

Speaker 4 What'd you say? Hey. 33.

Speaker 4 Cows can only walk upstairs. 32.

Speaker 4 That's Jose Casego's number. Oh,

Speaker 4 that would have been funny.

Speaker 5 Cows can only walk upstairs, not down them.

Speaker 5 They're fucked.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 5 I don't know what I meant to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 4 Today's a night, the days are fighting. Shy it away.

Speaker 4 Oh, I've been coming for your love of dreams. Shy it away.

Speaker 4 Oh, I've been coming for your love of dreams. Make

Speaker 4 you

Speaker 4 make

Speaker 4 me young.

Speaker 4 I'll be young.

Speaker 4 What do I do?

Speaker 4 less to say.

Speaker 4 I'm all set in my feet, so a little bit.

Speaker 4 The other thing I guess I can say up to me

Speaker 4 is the better to be safe and sorry. Say up to me,

Speaker 4 it's the better to be safe and sorry. Take

Speaker 4 on me,

Speaker 4 take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone.

Speaker 4 All the things I can say

Speaker 4 in a lot of ways. Just to play my words away.

Speaker 4 You are the things I've got to remember. In shining away,

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 You're shining away.

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 Take on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I'll be God

Speaker 4 and everything.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I'll be God

Speaker 4 in a faith

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 God

Speaker 4 in everything.