NFL Week 15, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game, And CFB Playoffs

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Shortest day ever. Week 15.
Perfectly average size. We start on Saturday in Mile High where Josh Allen Iverson has the answer to the question, when did the Bills last win the AFC East title? 24 hours ago, boom.
As the Sean Doug McDermott coach Bills seemingly can't miss, Vic only Fangio's is making John Elway pay for picking him, and the Bills offense is global warming up at the right time of the year, relying on digs and coal as the Chilean Broncos defense was only a minor inconvenience. Getting buried for 48 points.

And I am happy to report that no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. The Bills win the AFC East.
48, Broncos 19. What? What? What? Down to Hotlater where stop me if you've heard this before.
But Matt Ryan was up big on Tom Brady, only to have the Alanis Falcons and Raheem Morissette blow it yet again. Isn't it ironic? Tom Brady kept one hand in the pocket and the others eating an avocado, throwing a jagged little pill, and in true Odell fashion tried to kiss Brown after a late touchdown score.
The Falcons are going down in a theater like Abraham Lincoln because if you're an Atlanta fan, coo, coo, coo, coo, I don't know that no lead is ever saved. Bucs 31, the Dirty Birds 27.
To Indianapolis where DeForest Gump Buckner and Lieutenant Dan Echo Autry took out Deshaun Watson's legs for four and a half sacks, aiding the Colts' defense to a victory. Zach Pascal Siakam was able to dunk two touchdowns into the end zone as Philip Seymour Hoffman Rivers was red-dragging his nuts across the Texans' secondary.
The Colts take down the Texans. 27-20.
Someone put Deshaun Watson in a safe house. In Nashville where Marvin Crones Jr.
got shit on by Corey Dave IBS as the Titans wrecked him. Tractor Cito.
Leave you in the dust like you ate Cheetos. Windchill splatter like a mosquito.
Still can't conquer playoff Andy Reid though. The Titans roll the Lions.
46 to 25. Up north to Minneapolis.
Where Michelangelo's David Montgomery made the Vikings D look small. I want my.
I want my, I want my true whiskey. As Darnell Mooney for nothing and Akeem Hicks for free put the Vikings playoff chances in dire straits.
All we are is Justin the Wynn Jefferson yelled at Kirk Cousins to throw the fucking ball, Kirk. After Kirk closed his eyes for the moment, only for a moment and the moment's gone.
You're my boy, Blue. I thought Trey Wingo left ESPN.
The Bears take down the Vikings, 33-27. The people in this studio are too young to understand how genius our Dire Straits song drop was there.
In La La Land, Camolo Anthony Akers was upstaged by Braxton Honeynut Berrios.

And frankly, my gore, I don't give a damn gaze as the hopes for Trevor Lawrence are gone with the wind.

The only one pick in New York was by Bryce Hall as the time for the Jets to make the number one selection is tick-tocking away.

And these Rams are bad.

Jets 23, the Rams 20. Good one, boom.
Huh? Huh? The New York football system in a football game? Huh? Down in Miami where cousin Sal Von Ahmed broke his podcast partner's heart with the nail in the coffin for Bill Simmons, Belichick, and the Patriots'off chances. In the words of my good friend, Smokey Robinson, let me be the last to wish you

all a happy Chanukah as Jua Tagliavoa and Matt Bredel, Bredel, Bredel got the Dolphins to their

ninth win of the season. Dolphins 22, Patriots 12 Standing on a corner Jameis Winston got the Rona Such a sad sight to see Give him His face, it's time to contact Trace, do the Saints need Mix or Lee? Come on Jameis The Dubs are tasteless The Chiefs are undisputed Like Skip Bayless The Chiefs take down the Saints, 32-29.

And we finish in the nation's capital, where the Joe Logan Thomas experience was a good one.

Pete Christmas Carroll gave the football team a fa-la-la-la loss.

Haskins tried to take the top off as the football team's offense pulled a Titanic,

saying, tweet me like one of your French girls.

And the Seahawks win a big one, 20-15. That was the fastest two minutes in sports.
We're going to get right back to the show. Juan ha Hey, week 15 in the books.
Sunday night football. How did it go for the New York Giants? Well, Freddy Kitchens is trending on Twitter.
That cannot be good. The Giants, baffling would say.
I would say baffling plan. The Browns looked good.
Baker looked good. The Browns now have 10 wins.
They're on their way to the playoffs if they can just get rid of Cody Parkey. But the Giants, I think that's it for them.
Nice run, but what the fuck were they doing? No, they're not out of it yet. Right, but that was such a...
It was an ass kicking like if you you can't call yourself a playoff team and go out there and run the fake field goal what was that it was joe judge campaigning for coach of the year what like was that two things so one i think joe judge wanted to put something special out there for the people watching on prime time and two i think he was playing on tilt a little bit the old rivalry back to high school with stefanski stefanski actually beat joe judge out to be the starting quarterback of their high school and then joe judge transferred afterwards right so like it was this was personal he was like trying to settle like in joe judge's mind this is the uh the culmin culminating scene in a high school sex comedy.

Right.

Where he finally gets to come back and avenge his loss.

But it was baffling.

It was a weird play.

The play actually could have worked because the dude was kind of open.

But I don't understand why you don't just keep your own offense on the field

and just run your own offense instead of being like,

hey, let's trick them but not trick them by having all these guys out here.

Joe Judge said afterwards field goals weren't going to win this game.

Well, okay, maybe, but you would have been down 13-9 at half

instead of 13-3.

So I don't know.

Field goals would have gotten you in a spot to win the game.

They would have hurt.

Right.

You would have been in distance at the end of the half. Instead, it was a 10-point game, which felt like too much for that offense.
But you basically gave up a field goal with that stupid play to start the game. And then you gave it up again when you went for it on fourth and two at like the five yard line yeah i feel like joe judge

saw freddie kitchens and was like you control the offense so i think we have a better chance of scoring a touchdown if i put my special teams right and where i can dictate the play right as opposed to running one of your shitty plays freddie baker was really really good though he's he's starting to like i feel like he's turned a little bit of a corner where he sees everything 27 for 32

for almost 300 yards

he was awesome and

Wyatt I feel like he's turned a little bit of a corner where he sees everything. 27 for 32 for almost 300 yards.

He was awesome.

And Wyatt Teller wasn't even playing.

And they lost their guard on the first drive.

So they were playing their six-round pick at guard.

Browns are for real, man.

The Browns are for real.

These Browns could win two playoff games.

These Browns aren't the Super Bowl Browns. The Browns are for real.
These Browns could win two playoff games. These Browns aren't the Super Bowl Browns.

The Browns are for real, and guess what?

The Cleveland Browns are...

Now, you know the playoff picture better than me.

I'm worried.

Okay, what?

What?

The Browns...

Well, Cody Parkey's going to ruin your life, Browns fans.

The Browns should make the playoffs. Right.
In a just world, the Browns should have already clinched at 10-4. I know, that is so crazy that they...
However... That is so fucked up.
In the AFC, and Cleveland Browns fans turned this off. Not that you've probably already run through all these scenarios in your head, but the Ravens are probably going to win their last two games.
Wait, but the Browns play the Jets, so that's a win. That's a win.
The Jets are coming off of a win. That's a letdown spot for the Jets.
Yeah, this is a trap game for the Jets. That is such a letdown spot for the Jets.
I love it. And yeah, so the Ravens are going to get to 11-5.
The Colts are probably going to get to 11-5. The Titans are probably going to get to 11-5 also.
Okay. So then things can get a little dicey at that point.
Okay. What gets dicey? Well, the fact that the Browns would have to play the Pittsburgh Steelers in week 17 and probably have that game flexed into primetime.
And probably have that game. If they win that game, could they win the North? I don't think so, right? I don't think so.
I don't think they have the tiebreakers. So are you saying that there's a way that the Browns could miss the playoffs at 11-5?

Is that what I'm hearing you say?

The Browns, I think, could win the AFC North.

No, they can't.

No, they can't?

No, it's a possibility.

Okay.

It's very, very unlikely.

Okay.

It's a possibility.

But all I'm saying is like, it feels bad.

It feels like a setup.

If going into Week 17, they flex that game in a prime time. If the Browns win 11 games and don't make the playoffs, that will be the cruelest thing that's ever happened.
Yeah. Can't 2020 just end already? Oh my God.
I'm looking at it now. Yeah.
If all three teams finish 11-5, or all four teams finish 11-5, the Browns would miss the playoffs. If you're a Browns fan, you kind of have to be rooting for the Giants to not take this loss too badly so that they can maybe go out there and shock the Ravens next week.
What the fuck? Why did you say that? I'm just pointing things... It's the math, Big Cat.
It's not me. I don't control the numbers yet, but the way things stand right now...
And this is presuming that the Steelers beat the Bengals. I think that's actually...
All right, so now I'm starting to get a little bit of an understanding of this situation. I think if you're a Browns fan, you want the Steelers to win their next two games.
That makes them in the playoffs, secure in the playoffs. They won the AFC North.
They can't change where they're playing. They're going to rest the starters.
Then you can win in Week 17. Do you think that Ben Roethlisberger might be a little bit hungry to go out there and claim his, like, I'm the king of Cleveland throne? I don't think they'll even, I think they'll be like, Ben, you can't play.
You know what? They'll tell Ben the game's on Monday. Or just tell him that it's in Pittsburgh.
He just won't even realize it. Alright, alright.
So, the Browns, great win. 10-4.
God damn it, that's scary. Tonight, the Browns look good.

The Browns should be in the playoffs.

And they probably will be.

You know what?

We need to change the playoffs if the Browns miss it at 11-5.

That'll be the cruelest thing that's ever happened.

Have it be the Cleveland Browns rule.

We're like one team that hasn't made the playoffs in a long time

if you get double-digit wins.

If you haven't made the playoffs in longer than 10 years

and you have a 10-win season, you should get in.

Yes.

Yes.

I don't know. playoffs in a long time if you get double digit wins.
If you haven't made the playoffs in longer than 10 years and you have a 10 win season, you should

get in. Yes.
Yes.

I agree. Alright, and then yeah,

Joe Judge, I don't know what the fuck. Stefanski

should be coach of the year, I think.

Yeah. Right? Stefanski,

McDermott. Tomlin kind of out.

Tomlin out.

Fred Flores. Maybe.
So there's

your three, but I'm going to go with Stefanski.

You got the fucking Cleveland Browns to

10 wins. Kevin Stefanski

I'm going to go with Stefanski. You got the fucking Cleveland Browns to 10 wins.
Kevin Stefanski gets my vote that I don't have. But I'm going to say it anyway.
He gets my vote. He gets this podcast vote for Coach of the Year.
It's like the New York Times getting behind a presidential candidate. Part of my take.
Well, they did two this year. They did? Yeah.
So we should do two. Part of my take as a podcast is getting behind Kevin Stefanski as Coach of the Year.
Okay. Well, Kevin Stefanski and then alternate Sean McDermott.
Sean McDermott. Okay, so there you go.
In case Kevin Stefanski should happen to not be able to fulfill his obligations. Billy, why did you just walk in? It's 1230 at night.
Why did you just walk in with a bunch of Taco Bell? I ordered it. I don't know why Billy would ever bring food in here when we have never brought food in here.
He's got to put on masks. Did you order enough for all of us? Yes.
Oh, thank you, Hank. Whoa.
Fuck yeah, Hank. Got a couple party packs.
Let's go eat some Taco Bell. Fuck yeah.
Alright. Well, let's do the week 15, too, because we already recorded all week 15.
Here is week 15. This is the best way to end a football weekend.
Yeah. A little Taco Bell nightcap.
Fourth meal. No way is this going to backfire eating Taco Bell at 1230 in the morning.
I'm going to eat seven tacos and then go home and fall asleep comfortably. All right.
Let's get to the rest of the week 15 slate. We're going to start with Saturday.
Can I just interrupt you real quick? Yeah. I love football.
This weekend weekend was football weekend. And football is, it's the best.
Sitting on the couch for an entire weekend and doing nothing but football. It was, this is heaven.
The only complaint I have is not really a complaint, but it's more of a like, hey, remember to take care of your chickens, take care of your mentals. I had a definite football headache of just watching a screen for, I don't know, 24 hours over the last three days.
Just make sure, you know, pop an Advil every now and then. Yeah, or just close your eyes.
Yeah, close your eyes or take a break. What I like to do at halftime for about 30 seconds sometimes, I like to just stare at the ceiling and give my eyes the old reset on that.
Yep, yep. Go outside for a minute.
Got to take care of yourself. Be healthy.
Do something. Do something.
All right. Let's get into it.
So Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. The Buffalo Bills are AFC East champions.
The first time in 25 years. 1995 was the last time.
It's been so long that 29 players on the Bills roster, including practice squad, were not born yet. The last time the Buffalo Bills won the AFC East.
We're so happy for Josh Allen. He's fucking awesome.
Josh Allen needs four more touchdowns in the last two weeks to break the record for touchdowns by a Bills QB. Which, this is actually like a real record.
Because Jim Kelly's offenses were revolutionary. They were as close to like mid-2000s offenses as it got in the 80s and 90s.
Right, exactly. So it's not a nothing thing.
He has been incredible. Think about this.
The Bills are Kyler Murray's Hail Mary away from being 12-2 right now. Yeah, no, the Bills fuck, and Josh Allen fucks.
And this Bills team could win the Super Bowl. Absolutely.
Much like those Browns from a couple weeks ago could win the Super Bowl. The team that we've seen from the Bills in the last two weeks, they could beat the Chiefs in the playoffs.
Yes. If everything goes correctly.
Like, their defense is good enough. Josh Allen is fucking hard enough.
Like, the windows that he was putting the ball in were incredible and he's like he is one guy i know we had mike leach on the show like a couple years ago and he was telling us that you can't get more accurate after you're what like 17 18 years old you just peak accuracy josh allen i think josh allen might be younger than we think he is well it's like a reverse dominican baseball player it's benjamin button yeah right is that how much he ages backwards yeah so he's going to get more accurate as this guy and then he's going to be a toddler and then he's going to be a toddler but hopefully we can get some titles out of it first but like when when they put the videos up of josh allen going back to buffalo and the team landing, and the entire city of Buffalo greeted them at the airport, giving off major dogs greeting military people coming home from their tour vibes. It was incredible.
It was awesome. Buffalo is going to be like Woodstock 99 if the Bills do work in the playoffs.
And Cuomo said that they could potentially have some fans in the stands for the playoff. Wait, which? Fredo said that? Fredo said that.
We don't say Fredo. Cromo.
So, sometimes there is stating the obvious, but sometimes stating the obvious is still needed because you've got to give credit where credit is due. And I think Brandon who we've had on the show uh sean mcdermott who is a great great head coach but the the bill's front office like you draft a quarterback there was a lot of people who thought josh allen would suck josh allen has been fantastic but more than that they have put josh allen in a spot to succeed and I'm talking about the Stephon Diggs trade.
That trade changed what the Bills' trajectory is, and it is the rare trade in sports where both teams won because the Vikings got Justin Jefferson out of it, so they have their stud wide receiver in the future. But Stephon Diggs has six or more receptions in all but one single game this year.
On Saturday, he had 11 catches for 100, or sorry, this season he has 111 catches for 1,300 yards. Like, he has unlocked Josh Allen, and again, it is stating the obvious, but a lot of times franchises don't do these things where they say, hey, we've invested in this quarterback, we have have him on his rookie deal let's get some guys around him who can be the perfect complement to what his skill set is which is a stefan digs and the deep ball catches and being able to run under the ball and it just needs to be said because a lot of franchises don't do those smart things the bills have and they deserve all the credit in the world because josh allen has been phenomenal digs has been phenomenal cole beasley's been phenomenal that defense has turned itself around like the d the bills defense was the issue and which is weird because last year they were unbelievable but after the bye week they've figured it out they have figured something out where they they they play good enough defense that this like you said is a super bowl contending team and what? They went to Denver, which could have been a letdown spot because everyone's talking about them, and they annihilated the problem.
And it was on a weird Saturday, too, which is another place like a relatively short week could also be another letdown spot. And a t-shirt and hat game, which I love that saying.
Yeah, that's true. Gotta have a t-shirt and hat game.
Yeah, so they come back. They're AFC East champions.
And we've seen, I don't know if you've seen the screenshots, but there's some screenshots going around from people that work inside. What's the name of the Buffalo Stadium? Do they have a name? No, it's New Era, but it's not anymore.
The Blue Jays. The Blue Jays Stadium.
The Blue Jays Stadium. The Blue Jays Stadium.
We've had talks about having it be the Barstool Stadium. Yeah, so there are people that work there that are getting contacted saying hey uh would you be willing to like work concessions during the playoffs if we put in like this sort of protocol and so they're planning on having fans there bill's mafia is going to be there and bill's mafia went fucking nuts on saturday good for them like great job for the bills fans being able to celebrate hard and go and go ham on a Saturday night knowing that they have a full day of recovery on Sunday.
You guys deserved it because all Buffalo would have called in sick had you clinched the AFC East and won that game on Sunday. This is, though, and I just keep going back to it, but the fact that the Browns and the Bills are both, Browns most likely playoff bound without fans in the stands and fans partying beforehand, it is a little bit of a tragedy.
It's a mini tragedy because those fan bases deserve it, and Bills fans should be, I mean, this has been a long time coming. Obviously, they broke the streak to get to the playoffs a few years ago, but winning the AFC East, first time in 25 years, young quarterback, years young quarterback franchise quarterback like that's bills fans are waking up on monday morning and they're just happy yeah like they're just straight up happy and that's such an awesome feeling when your sports team can do that for you there's been why you it's why you go through the losses yep there's been no better application of nature is healing than seeing bills fans jumping through tables lighting them on fire smashing like full 2020s over their heads that's how i knew that like things are things are on the right track in the world right now so i i'd also be remiss if i didn't mention that the bills and the broncos that's the most successful oj simpson run game of all time nice big matchup between the two of those a lot of history between those franchises uh and and drew lock is done we got to be done with that uh i'm opting out on drew yeah no you have that but i'm not talking to you anymore you've already opted i'm talking about the broncos the broncos have to be done with that yeah and unfortunately i think vic fangio is probably going to get fired i i still would rank him number one in defensive coordinator so he'll have a job it just didn't really work out him.
I mean, he was never really meant to be a head coach. And it sucks because they just don't have a quarterback, and I still think that their roster is decent where they can turn it around somewhat.
You know what I mean? Like, if you look at the Chargers and the Broncos, like, there's teams out there where if you're a fan of that team, it's not – you're not the Jets. You're not the Jagu Jaguars.
There are moves that can be made that can get you back in the playoffs,

I feel like, in the next couple years.

Yeah, your defense is going to be good when Von Miller gets back in.

You have offensive weapons.

You've got offensive weapons.

Noah Fant is awesome.

Yep.

But again, he does still feel to me like the second team he's on,

he's going to be a fucking monster.

He's going to be like all world.

He's going to be the next baby Gronk.

Yes, yes. All right, so that was saturday football uh saturday night football the packers and the panthers uh rogers called it aaron rogers called it a disappointing win it's a fucking asshole uh but the pack it was a weird game because the packers were up 21-3 they scored i think on their first three drives first three drives.
Aaron Rodgers wasn't that sharp. Their offense wasn't that sharp.
I think that he was like, hey, I can probably suck tonight knowing everyone's watching college football and I will still win an MVP. That's just my thought.
And Matt Rule, point spread God, kicks the field goal on first down. Everyone was freaking out about it.
It almost worked. Yeah, no, I think it's kind of the right decision well you don't see a lot of coaches do it but it's kind of not because you still have first down right and you you can take a shot it's harder to save time it's harder to score the touchdown than the field goal so it's still like it it ended up not looking dumb in retrospect but i still think you need to at least run a play on first and second down.
Because if you score a touchdown on first and second down, then the hard part's done. He was making up for it with Joey Sly, sending Joey Sly out there to make a very makeable field goal towards the end of the game as opposed to trotting him out there.
I still think it's dumb. Because you could see that going the other way, where maybe they score a touchdown, and then Sly goes out there and they have to kick a 67-yarder.
Which is what he is accustomed to.

Which goes backwards somehow.

But it's, listen, if you do it and, like, third down or fourth down, I get it,

but first down, what are you doing?

Just fucking take two shots to the end zone.

You might have three bad snaps in a row.

Right.

But, yeah, Matt Rule was the point spread god, and Teddy Bridgewater just keeps covering point spreads. You bring up a good point, though, with Aaron Rodgers.
And maybe you weren't going down this road, but I'll just say it. When was the last time Aaron Rodgers was happy? Never.
Has he been happy? No. I feel like his source of happiness is when the haters aren't happy.
Yeah, no, he's just a surly guy who likes to just not be happy. He likes to excel at football.
Yeah, and just be like, oh, yeah, this is a disappointing win. Okay, dude, you're 11-3.
Oh, I'm so disappointed. We've had a nice season, but that was a disappointing win.
Whatever, I still think the Packers can – I'm excited for this Titans-Packers game next week. Let's just say that.
So we're going to find out how soft the Packers do this next week because I don't think that they're as soft as they were. I think that their D's gotten a little bit harder.
They're still soft. The D is semi.
They've got a semi right now in Green Bay. They're 1-2 against winning teams.
They're chubbed up, big guy. They're 1-2 against winning teams.
They're going to get the one seed, most likely. It's pretty much, I mean, it's Garrett.
You know what? There's basically no chance that they don't get the one seed. You're just hoping we're in week 17.
No, I'm just saying it. They have the one seed.
Foots off the gas. No, I've already done the math on that.
I'm no longer scared of the Bears playing on Sunday Night Football flexing because the Bears' entire playoff chances rely on the Cardinals, and they would never put a game in there that it could have already been designed. So we're good.
I think that much like the Bills are discussing putting certain fans into the stands, the Packers just need to have the first row of the end zone filled with people so that you can do a non-sad Lambeau leap. Yeah.
So just so that somebody can catch them. I like that.
I think Rodgers also, this will be like the, I think this will be his third time going 40 touchdowns plus single-digit interceptions, which I think the only two other people who have done it are Brady and Manning. So whatever, he's good.
That's fine. That's so boring.
To be that consistent? I said something nice. It's because he throws it away a lot.
He doesn't take chances. Brett Favre was a gunslinger.
He tried taking chances. At least Brett Favre fucking went down with the ship.
Aaron Rodgers experimented this year with taking chances. There was like one quarter where he experimented with taking chances, and he had like two pick six.
And then he was like, you know what? Fuck that. I'm not doing that ever again.
For some reason, someone retweeted on my timeline that Brett Favre was talking about his last game. It was when Corey Wooten basically killed him on that frozen turf in Minnesota.
And I had never heard the story, but Brett Favre said he got knocked out. He was snoring.
The trainer came and got him up. He tried to go to the wrong sideline.
He then went to the right sideline. He got in his street clothes.
He had a hot cocoa. It was his words.
He had a hot cocoa and a chili dog, and that was it. And he just knew at that is his words he had a hot cocoa and a chili dog and that was it and he just knew at that point i'm done hot cocoa and a chili dog that's disgusting you know what i might i might get one of those copper fit things that he advertises for my back because i'm into just strictly junk science treatments in my back for right now yeah you just won't listen to me even though i've been through everything no i like i'll i'll do whatever like i'll go to a witch doctor i don't really care i'll see a psychic you have to call a doctor You're like, no, I don't want to me even though I've been through everything you're going through.
No, I'll do whatever. I'll go to a witch doctor.
I don't really care. I'll see a psychic.
I was like, hey, if you call a doctor, you're like, no, I don't want to do that. I'm going to go to an acupuncturist.
I'm going to do this. Dude, I don't trust doctors.
I mean. I don't.
I've been reading a lot of editorials recently. I don't.
You're not going to get the vaccine? I think doctors. No, I'll inject the vaccine into myself.
I know how to use a needle. I'll drink that thing from water fountain.
I'll fuck the vaccine. No problem.
I'll boof it. I'll bathe in it.
Can you take the vaccine rectally? Done. We'll find out.
We'll have Billy do it to us. Yeah.
All right. Next up, Bucks Falcons.
Well, this was just to be expected, right? Yeah. The Falcons are up 17-0.
The Falcons are the Falcons. Tom Brady is Tom Brady.
Tom Brady now has four career games, comeback wins, when his team has been down 17-plus in the first half at halftime. Most all-time.
And two of them are against the Falcons, one in the Super Bowl. This was, as bad as the Bucs were the first half, that's how good they were in the second half.
They scored on their first five possessions of the second half, and you just expected this game because the Falcons are the Falcons and Tom Brady is Tom Brady. Yeah, this is the fourth game that the Falcons have had a 95% win probability and gone on to lose the game.
So they are mathematical proof that statistics aren't real they've done it using statistics we can now prove that stats are fake yes which is it's incredible uh i just still think that there's one guy that just he he feels like okay this feels like a 95 game and then he just puts he updates the esp yeah no it's it's totally fake yeah so my question from this game, are the Bucs frauds? You're saying that because of the first quarter. No, no, no, first half.
I was thinking about it. I feel like the Bucs just stink in the first quarter.
No, no, it's not just on this game. The first half was very bad.
It's also the fact that the Bucs, when they play bad defenses, they look okay, and they are going to now. So they play the Falcons.
Next week, they play the Lions. Then they play the Falcons again.
We're going to have a three-game stretch where the Bucs should look okay. And I'm saying frauds, when they get to the playoffs, you can't go down 17 points against a good defense.
You just can't. The Falcons are a broken team, and I think the Bucs are relying on flipping the switch, and I feel like if you are, you could, the Chiefs could be a flip-the-switch team.
Yeah. Tom Brady and the Patriots could be a flip-the-switch team.
Like, teams that have done it can flip the switch. The Bucs have not done it.
So you can't be like, hey, we're going to flip this switch. It's almost like the Clippers.
The Clippers spent the entire bubble being like, we're going to flip this switch. Well, you've never flipped the switch.
I feel like the switch isn't there. The Bucs could find the switch because they've got enough ingredients to have a switch.
That's the thing. They've got all the Corvettes.
They've got too many Corvettes and not enough Jeep Wranglers out there. Here's a good sign that a team may be a fraud.
This is like Jeff Foxworthy. your redneck win.
Jeff Fraudworthy. When the line that you hear constantly something I've said, something I've heard many people say, the Bucs have the most talented roster in the NFL.
When you say that over and over that's essentially saying without saying, but they suck. They are not reaching their ceiling.
You're saying that they should be good. Right should be a lot better.
On paper, the Bucs are the best team. On paper, the game's not played on paper.
If you talk about how talented your roster is, there's a good chance that you aren't getting to the ceiling of your ability. Right.
It's not played on paper. It's played in the ESPN win probability chart.
That's where the games are really played. But they do start slow.
They're a very slow starting team. And I think that that's going to hurt them because they are not the Chiefs.
I think they're just, the entire offense is just laughing for the first quarter, looking over at Bruce Arians for the first time all week when he's wearing the full, like, Hurt Locker bomb diffuser setup that he has. Yes.
Where he's got the strap on and then he's got the protective face shield all over him. He gets more accessories week in and week out.
So it might take him a little bit to remember where all the different buttons are. He has to learn a new system every single week.
But I feel like the first quarter Bucs are one of the worst teams in the NFL. I need to look this up.
And then second, third quarter on, they get into the swing of things. Here's all I'm going to say to you.
Here's all I'm going to say to you. If the Bears somehow do sneak into the playoffs and the Raiders don't, which we expect the Raiders not to, right? The Bucs will have finished the regular season going, and I'm going to assume they're going to win their last two games.
The Bucs will finish the regular season going, no, they would have gone 1-4, 1-5 against playoff teams, and 10-0 against non-playoff teams. I mean, that's something, right? Yeah, no, that's something.
They lost to the Saints twice, they lost to the Bears, they lost to the Chiefs, and they lost to the Rams. Like, the Packers, that 38-10 Packers win is the only win you can look at.
If we were doing the BCS, the Bucs are out. Yeah, and I think that the Bucs probably I would not trust them to go on the road to a cold environment nope they're warm weather Tom Brady already said he's never moving back north right he's staying he likes the hot weather down there so I think yeah if they have to go outside in the cold that's gonna be tough for them if they get to play a game in Tampa then I think they can win that if they get to play in a dome i think they like would you be surprised if the bucks beat the saints in the superdome actually i would i would i would be shocked by it i would i think it's a terrible matchup for them you know what i really like though this this game brought out the uh the old first down chains and there was another like first down controversy where the ball was definitely short of the marker and some people are like i don't like the fact that we use chains to measure distance in the nfl it's a billion dollar league or whatever it is i'm okay with it i like i like having like a little bit of that weirdness where yeah the referee is gonna be looking down and seeing if a link or human error yeah the human error the chain system it would get yet was it keep to leave announcing this uh no he was doing the uh Card game because he was calling kyler murray calamari okay i got it uh but a keep believe would get ptsd yeah from the chain system for sure but i think that there's like there's something endearing about it yeah being like look at these old men trying to eye fuck the different the distance between the end of a football and a pole in the ground it It's kind of fun.
So the Bucs, we'll see.

Matt Ryan still remains the most sackable quarterback

in the NFL.

There was a couple times where he just sacked himself.

He's doing the Eli Manning now

where he just kind of gives up.

I also, our good friend Stephen Shea,

Bucs super fan, did have a tweet

that I think we need to bring this saying back more.

He said, the Bucs have no pass rushes in the first half. They need to start heating up the quarterback.
Okay, yeah, I like that too. Gotta heat up the quarterback.
Pin your ears back and heat up the quarterback. Heat up the quarterback.
We gotta have a couple meetings at the quarterback. Yeah, it's like a left, it's leftovers.
Leftover lasagna. We gotta heat up this quarterback.
Do you think, like, we haven't heard that much out of Antonio Brown. He's not going live on on instagram after games which sucks scored a touchdown my favorite parts of the week he had a yeah nice touchdown today but i i just keep feeling like we're we're overdue he's he's the yellowstone super volcano and we're overdue for just a catastrophic explosion yeah when the bucks lose in the playoffs yep we will get an Live, and it will be hilarious.
Alright, next up, Niners-Cowboys. Not a whole lot from this game.
Great color game. The two uniforms just makes you look back and be like, miss the 90s.
But this game, weirdly, there was a lot of points. There was like 20 points in the last 90 seconds with that weird kickoff return and then hail mary but i the the biggest takeaway i had from this game well i had two takeaways one is um tony pollard is a reason why if there's anyone out there i don't even think there are these people exist anymore that you shouldn't pay a lot of money to a running back Tony Pollardard is it he's not ezekiel elliott but what is he like 75 80 and he wants to get paid like a million dollars it's like saquon barkley and wayne gallman yeah so like yeah you can get you can get most of the production of it but still i will say like i'm definitely a prisoner of the moment all the time I'm constantly trapped in a cell of the current time that we're in.

And like- But still, I will say, like, I'm definitely a prisoner of the moment all the time. I'm constantly trapped in a cell of the current time that we're in.
And, like, yeah, you've got to pay Dalvin Cook. Yes.
Well, Kirk Cousins, that's also a combo deal where if Kirk Cousins is your quarterback, then you do have to pay Dalvin Cook. And I'm fully prepared to be a million percent wrong in two years when Dalvin Cook, he regresses to the point where, yeah, we ran him into the ground like the ground like Larry Johnson so turns out he's not worth the money and they're going to hamstring with a cap for like years to come but at the time with Ezekiel Elliott it was like you got to pay Zeke yep you got to feed him you got to feed the guy uh but yeah we're always proven wrong two years after that take so my other one was uh I think Kyle Shanahan should just keep subbing in and out C.J.
Bethard and Nick Mullen. So I have stats to back it up.
When C.J. Bethard or Nick Mullen subs in for the other one, they are the sub, subby, sub, the sub.
The sub. Subber.
Yeah, the person who comes in. The sub.
Is the sub. Yeah, the sub.
And the person who leaves. Is the subby.
Has been subbed. Has been subbed.
So the person who comes in is the sub. Yeah, the sub.
And the person who leaves has been subbed. Has been subbed.
So the person who comes in is 54 for 80, 68%, 641 yards, four touchdowns, one interception, 8.1 yards an attempt. Yeah.
They have two backup quarterbacks. They just need to keep subbing them.
Neither one is comfortable in a starting rule. Every time they come in, I'm like, oh, man, that guy should start.
Oh, man, that guy should start. Right.
A sub is just a boat that's lurking underwater. And, yes, when it's Beathard coming in, it's a sad spark.
You never want to say, like, we need a spark for our offense by bringing in C.J. Beathard because it's not a spark with him.
You're just turning the gas on. Maybe you'll feel funny for a little bit off the fumes, but you're not going to start a fire with him.
Yes, when it's Nick Mullins, I think they're both gunslingers. A gunslinger performs better when he's not fully prepared.
When he gets out there, he just says, fuck it. I'm just going to throw the ball around like it's in the backyard.
Yes. So the other, in one final, well, the Cowboys are still weirdly in it.
They are in it. Yeah, there's a bunch of the NFC East because they beat each other up and their battle tested.
There's a bunch of different scenarios how it can shake out down the stretch. The Cowboys as weird as it is to say like any of those four teams could win the NFC East.
Yes. Yes, it is crazy.
Nick Mullins. Nice guy.
I think he might listen to this show. I'm not going to be mean to him because I like him.

I've never met him, but I like him.

He's got a little bit of the Mason Rudolph big face thing.

When they show his face at the end of a game and they're losing,

his face is too big.

It's just too big.

It just takes up too much size, and it just makes you feel bad.

I think he's got a smooth face.

Yeah, but it's big.

He's got a big-ass head.

His face is an Instagram filter.

Yeah, it's just too big like i i don't know what there's nothing he can do about it except maybe like have have less face or or like have ice water ice bucket just on deck so he could dunk his head in there yeah reduce just so he can sit there and be like okay not a huge face. But I noticed that today when they showed him on the sideline.
I was like, damn, Nick Mullins got a big fucking head. Yeah.
There's another fun stat from today. This comes from our good friend Andrew Siciliano.
He said this is the first time that both teams have played each other when they're both in last place ever. So I guess that's pretty fun.
But they don't really play each other all the time. And then we can say, not your father's Cowboys, not your father's Niners.
Yeah, exactly. So yeah, just go on.
They should just swap out the starting quarterback immediately before game time. Yeah.
Just keep going back and forth. Do it like college football.
Yeah, no. Back and forth.
Switch it back and forth. My tongue to my mouth.
They did take Nick Mullins out because he was hurt. They said he was hurt.
They said that he lost sensation in his arm. So he had the funny bone.
Yes. We're dealing with a funny bone epidemic in the NFL.
Yes. All right.
Next up, we got Lions Titans. So Titans absolutely killed the Lions.
Tractor Cito on pace for 2K, which I don't – I don't – I think they'll – he probably won't get it, not because he couldn't get it, but because why would you – like once they clinch or once they're in the playoffs, it seems like the smart thing to do is not just go for yards and carries for Derrick Henry, right? But you also want to protect Ryan Tannehill. Yeah, so Ryan Tannehill, Ryan Tannehill.
Ryan Tannehill was fucking awesome in this game. And Ryan Tannehill, it needs to be repeated.
And I actually, your take about Ryan Tannehill, I don't totally disagree that eventually he's going to rear its ugly head and it's like, hey, he's still Ryan Tannehill. But we should give him credit when he is really, really good.
And he has been really, really good. So since week seven, 2019, when he took over as starting quarterback, he is third in the league in touchdown passes with 53, 24 games, 53 touchdown passes and second in the league for total touchdowns, 61.
Yeah, good he is yes 8.7 yards attempt like ryan tannahill deserves the credit for being an awesome quarterback the last year and a half one of the top five quarterbacks in the league whether you whether you think he's ranked there or not he's ranked there statistically and he's like basically uh proof positive that if you get away from adam gaze you'll be good and every backup quarterback should look at that and be like hey i could maybe be ryan tannehill if i get in the right system well ryan tannehill is bad for the nfl because he especially if you have a quarterback who's like uh just wait this guy needs a little bit more time to develop guy he's going to make so many teams do the wrong thing just wait and wait. And be like, I've seen enough out of him where I think there's potential.
Like, yes, you're right. Ryan Tannehill is good now.
And for me, it's just completely personal where it's like I spent so long watching Ryan Tannehill and being so certain that he wasn't good. It takes me some time to unlearn that.
Yes. So my brain is dumb.
And you know what's going's going to happen is the minute you say to yourself, Ryan Tannehill is really good, he will do something that will be like, oh, I got duped. Yeah, and then I'll never change my mind again about anything.
But Ryan Tannehill is the one guy where it's like he got to the next place and all of a sudden he's good. Right.
Marcus Mariel could be that guy. Maybe.
Why not? In Las Vegas. Anywhere.
And I'm just basing that off, what, three quarters of football? That's enough for me. That's enough scouting that I've done.
I'd like to give an inaugural award. Boy of the Week.
Boy of the Week goes to Will Compton. Block of the Week? Boy of the Week.
What's Boy of the Week? Oh. He had a nice hit on the goal line.
Stephen Chay does have Boy of the Year. Boy of the Year.
Which is a Block of the Year. This is Boy of the Week.
So Boston with the Boys, Will Compton, had a man-sized goal line stand. Yes, he did.
Our boys becoming a man out there. Shout out to Boy of the Week, Will Compton.
To Boy of the Week, Will Compton inaugural award. We'll probably retire that after this week.
He's the only winner. He's the only one that can ever win.
Boy of the Week. Maybe when Terry Luan comes back, he can win a Boy of the Week.
Another fun stat, the Titans have had four straight nine-7 seasons, but not anymore, which is perfect. Nice.
It's perfect because 9-7 is the most boring record you can have as a team. It's also like the most AFC South record.
Yes. Yeah, you're probably going to win the division 50% of the time going 9-7 and then get a wild card 33% of the time.
They can do it. So yeah,

they are,

they're no longer,

no longer nine and seven.

And I still don't believe in them.

We'll see.

Okay.

Here's,

we'll see.

Here's,

here's,

here's the other side of this game.

Matt Stafford is the toughest motherfucker in the league.

He had hurt ribs.

Someone else had hurt ribs and they set out for like five,

five fucking weeks.

Matt Stafford had hurt ribs. Didn't practice all week no kenny galladay came out and still like kept the lions in this game for three quarters he got hurt he got pulled uh when it became a blowout but the lions so hurt ribs matt stafford no practice no kenny galladay the lions still went seven for 12 on third down that's what we've been saying all year the titans third down defense is the biggest issue when they need to get stops they can't get stops when they need to get off the field they can't get off the field when the lions go seven for 12 on third down with a hurt matt stafford and no kenny galladay you should be worried i'm officially entering into we must protect matt stafford at all costs i want he's a tough i want to see i want to see matt stafford go to a contender.
Remember when he broke his shoulder and then came back in and threw the touchdown pass? He was pushing the trainers away. Yeah, he had a separated shoulder.
Last year, he broke his back, and we didn't find out until two weeks later, like, oh yeah, he's got a broken back. He's had corona more times than the president of Brazil.
This dude is a fucking horse. No one has.
Yeah, he's an all-time record. No one one i feel like going for the record yeah but stafford is like he's always there's always something going on with him but not in a ben roethlisberger type way no he's i would like the opposite i would like to see the like if you put up the uh the infographic side by side and show me the different glowing parts of matt stafford's body for what injuries he's had i bet he looks looks like a Ben Roethlisberger.
If Ben Roethlisberger got the injuries that Matt Stafford had, he would just be sitting on the trainer table and asking the trainer, am I dead? Like, am I actually, don't fuck with me, I'm dead, right? Like, I'm not here on earth. No, I think he would have asked for Dr.
Kevorkian to come in. Yeah, he'd be like, just pull the plug.
Put me away.

I've seen enough.

Euthanize me where I sit like a horse. But, yeah, so Matt Stafford's a tough motherfucker.
I just think the Titans' defense, like, it just – they can get in shootouts. They can win shootouts.
But, I mean, I guess when you just judge everything against the Chiefs, it's – The problem with the AFC this year is that you can say the Titans are a good team, but you still don't believe in them and be right on both of the things, and Titans fans will obviously get upset, but it's the truth. Do you ever see the Titans being able to stop Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs on third down with the game on the line? No.
I think that they could score 30 points against the Chiefs, and then the Chiefs will third down, like with the game on the line. Yeah.
No. I think they could score 30 points against the Chiefs.
Yeah. And then the Chiefs will score 55.
Right, exactly. So I don't know what they have to do to fix that, but their defense, yeah, they can't rush the passer.
They can't get off the field on third down. But Ryan Tannehill is really good.
And Derek Henry, fourth player in NFL history, PFT, with 1,500 rush yards and 15 TDs plus in back-to-back seasons. Two out of three of the other ones won the MVP in that season.
So he should be considered. I don't know why we don't consider him.
Sean Alexander won it in 2005, Terrell Davis in 1998. Larry Johnson did not win it.
Larry Johnson, I went back and I looked.

He had 752 carries in that two-year stretch.

Yeah, they tried to kill him.

They tried to kill him.

752 carries.

And now he's the wokest person in the world.

Yeah, I would say there's, I mean, I'd have to go look,

but, like, no team.

I bet you that that would be, like, two teams combined carries as a team in two seasons now in today's NFL. Oh, it's insane.
752 carries. I actually think that was the death of the workhorse back.
Yeah. The Delcal back.
400 plus in the second year. It was insane.
He was overused so much that the entire NFL was like, never again. We've seen this guy's tweets.
We can't do this to another running back. It's, yeah.
And Derek Henry, he needs to chill with punching people in the face when he's running with the football. It's awesome, though.
Every time it's so fucking awesome. Can you imagine if you're like a safety or a cornerback and you have to, you've seen all, like all your brethren get put on tape, get put on posters.
I love it. I love it.
I would just try to grab his beaver tail. I would just try to grab his hair.
Tackle him by his hair. You can do that.
It's not a horse collar. Yep.
Just pull him down by that. Yeah, you absolutely can do that.
Yeah, there's like a bunch of teams I'm looking right now who are going to be under 400 carries for their entire team. Like almost the entire league is going to be under 400 carries except for five teams, and he had that himself in that second year after going 360 carries.
Just crazy. Either way, Derrick Henry should be talked about in the MVP.
I think if Derrick Henry doesn't get at least an MVP vote this year or gets in the discussion, we should officially say it's the death of ever having a non-quarterback. I know Adrian Peterson won in 2012, but with the way the NFL has gone and how teams just don't run like they used to, that's it.
Like, it's never going to happen again. Yeah.
If he gets over 2,000, I could see him getting, like, you have to, football writers are so dumb that when they see 2,000 on the stat sheet, they'll be like, yeah, I kind of got to give him credit. You'll see some people vote for him just because he breaks that.
But the reality is, yes, Derrick Henry, he should. You know what? We're talking about him in the MVP race right now.
Boom, we just did it. That's meta.
Derrick Henry is officially in the conversation for NFL MVP. That's true.
We should need to do that more where it's like, hey, you're the number one sports podcast. You can just say it and then say other people are saying, which is just us saying if Derek Henry, yeah, all he has to do is like put up a couple of Instagram posts of like how much he really enjoys listening to Bruce Springsteen and you too.
And then the voters will be like, yeah, I like this guy. Go to, go to one lobster dinner with Peter King and you'll get his vote.
That's all it will take.

That's literally it.

That's all you have to do.

He can be bought with food.

Well, actually, no, because remember, he started hitting us after I bought him In-N-Out Burger.

Right.

And he hasn't paid me back.

Go to a restaurant.

You owe me like $18, Peter King.

You got two burgers, bro.

You ate two of them.

Go to a restaurant with him right after somebody dies and let him see you break the news cordially to the host. And then I think he'll be like, game, respect, game.
Just remember that. If anyone wants to tweet Peter King and tell him that he owes us, I think what's two, Jake, look it up.
What's two In-N-Out burgers and a fry? He got two In-N-Out burgers and a fry.

I paid for it. I remember, Hank, you were in the car

with me. We got a shitload of food.

We're at the Niners facility.

Shout out to Niners for letting us hang out all day

there.

I'm going to send him...

And also get the interest rates for the last two years.

There's inflation.

There's inflation involved. I got to charge points on it.

What do you think? There's no such thing as a free lunch.

That's literally a saying.

Yeah.

But if you want to talk about like ethics and journalism, right?

As a reporter, he should not have accepted a lunch from somebody that he was doing an

interview with.

Right.

That's against all the rules.

Shout out the time Jay Caspian Kang came over and interviewed us and he bought his own

dinner.

Yeah.

We had pizza for the office and he's like, I can't even slice.

We're like, dude, you can have a slice. We always over order pizza.
He's like, no, I cannot have a slice. We're like, damn, that is legit journalism.
Meanwhile, Peter King's just fucking getting double doubles animal style. Yeah, Peter King.
On the house. Tell you what, all things will be stricken from this record if you just buy us lunch one day.
Just have lunch in and out. I want in and out.
Yeah. Yeah, freeze in yeah freeze in and out and you know what okay this actually made me pause when we ordered peter king lunch we said we got two burgers for you and he comes in and like we're still feeding like a couple of the equipment guys around yeah we bought a shitload of them to take some too peter immediately takes his two burgers out of the pile like that's a situation where you grab the one burger, you eat it, and then you look at how things are shaking out.
Yeah. We call that a Billy football.
Yeah. You want to see how things are playing out amongst the people that are eating.
You don't want to take two and then have one person. He basically took two burgers and sneezed on them both immediately.
I was like, well, I guess no one else can. Imagine if my dad walked in, Bob Lang, and was like, hey, where's my hey where's my burger yeah i would have been mortified yeah it would have been very bad looking for all yeah i believe he owes you 1067 i didn't realize how cheap in and out but what what did you get fries and milkshakes too oh i didn't say i did two burgers two double burgers 404 each so 808 fries were 187 which brought us to 995 and then uh tax was what about interest what about interest tax what if i put that in an interest what if i put that in savings for the last two years how much 1067 two years ago how much yeah what would i've earned in stock oh yeah put it that could have been penn stock 1067 in penn stock uh two years ago two summers ago find out what the price was in 2018.
I think he owes us like 300 bucks. Yeah.

So Penn stock in 2018 help here i think he owes us like 300 bucks yeah so penn stock in 2018 when we didn't even know that pen existed um we would have totally invested actually no bitcoin do bitcoin we would have bought bitcoin do pick bitcoin in 2018 what was the summer price of bitcoin i'm gonna do an ad and then we'll get that answer all right uh You know what you should be getting if you're talking about investments? ButcherBox, the greatest investment of all time. ButcherBox is the absolute best.
ButcherBox is the meat delivery subscription that gives me more time for what matters most, like eating. Each month, they send a box of the highest quality meat for a better price in the grocery store, which gives me more time to spend cooking and sharing delicious meals with family and friends.
ButcherBox also has high quality humanely sourced meat. So you know you're getting the best quality out there.
That's a fact. You can always bank on that.
And ButcherBox shows up every single month, or you can do it even more if you eat more, but it shows up every single month. Nine to 11 pounds of meat, enough for 24 individual meals, packed fresh, shipped frozen and vacuum sealed so it stays that way.
And it's the best meat shipped right to my door. I always get my butcher box.
I'll make a big chili. I'll make sure that I have a little extra for a couple more dinners.
But I always start with a big chili because they have great grass-fed finished beef. They have free-range organic chicken, heritage pork, wild-caught Alaskan salmon, and sugar-nitrate-free bacon.
It's basically treat ButcherBox like, hey, this food's showing up to your house. Boom, make a chili.
What's better than that? What is better than that? And then you still can make some pork chops, some salmon, all of it with ButcherBox. ButcherBox is the highest quality meat around for just $6 a meal.
And right now you can get two pounds of salmon absolutely free. This is like Hank basically catching the salmon with his hands.
For free, go to butcherbox.com slash take. ButcherBox.com slash take.
ButcherBox.com slash take. Right now, right now two pounds of salmon absolutely free with your first box from butcher box butcher box dot com slash take all right so if we had bought if we had taken the ten dollars that peter king uh robbed us robbed us of and invested it in bitcoin in 2018 the summer of so bitcoin in July of 2018 was $6K.
It would fluctuate around $6K. It is now fluctuating around $24K present day, so he would owe us $40.
$40. Peter King owes $40.
I feel like we should retroactively convert that to Penn, though. I think it's more.
I think Penn would be more. Penn probably would be more.
Penn back then. Penn probably was around $10 stock, so it was probably right around $90.
Probably was about $90. It's $91, right? You know what? And add them together, so like $130.
Okay, the five-year. Yeah.
So back in 2018. And then compound the interest.
July 6, 2018, it was $34S. Okay, so actually it's less because it's 3X.
But compound that interest every single day. He owes us about anywhere between $10,000 and $20,000 for those two burgers that we bought them in July 2018.
And add in the fact that actually, you know what we really should do is, hey, Peter, if you don't pay us for those burgers, we're going to take your journalism degree. How much was that? Okay.
That's like today's price. That was probably $200,000 education.
Yeah. We need to report them to the governing body of journalism ethics, which would be.
What school do you go to? That's actually just Peter Gammon's phone. I was going to say Dan Rather.
Yeah. I think I think Peter owes us a lot of money.
That's the bottom line. All right, Peter, pay up.
All right, next game. Texans-Colts protect Deshaun Watson at all costs.
We'll get those tweets going. He was awesome.
He's awesome in basically every Texans game, and they lose every single game, and they lose in hilarious, terrible, heartbreaking fashion. This time was essentially the same exact thing they did two weeks ago against the Colts.
Driving. Late game.
Gets them all the way down the field. Fumble.
Game over. Yeah.
So I think that obviously when the Colts have DeForest Buckner at full strength, they're a different team. Like he is a guy that makes.
And Darius Leonard. And Darius Leonard.
Who makes some weeks too. DeForest Buckner is a guy that I give him my – he's like Terrell Suggs where you just see him on the field and he's fucking scary looking.
He's intimidating looking. And even when he's on the field with like a bunch of other six-foot-tall, 300-pound people, you're like, that dude is huge.
How did a human being – am I the same species as DeForest Buckner? But when he's out there making plays, like that defense is legit and Darius Leonard is one of the best linebackers in the league. Yeah, he forced the fumble.
I'm starting to come back around on the Colts. Okay.
I just don't, they're my most confusing team. Yes.
So the Colts to me. I'm flummoxed by them.
The Colts are, so I guess the way I would describe the Colts is they're the're the most steady... I don't think their ceiling's that high, but I also don't think their floor's that low.
They're pretty consistent. Well, they lost to the Jaguars.
They did lose to the Jaguars week one. That's a pretty low floor.
Yeah, that's a different... The Jaguars, we all thought...
It's like a split-level basement. It's pretty low.
No, but they've beaten some good teams. They've lost to some good.
They've gotten blown out. They've blown other teams out.
Like, they're pretty consistent. I just think that for them to be considered real, I don't know.
I just say, like, Phil Rivers, like, if you can pressure him, like, he is. Oh, he can't move.
He can't move. Yeah, he just doesn't move.
And also, their defense has been good, but it's also given up. Like, I think right around 400 yards the last three games.
So I guess two of those were against the Texans, and Deshaun Watson is still, even on a bad Texans team, he's putting up numbers. I don't know.
I don't know what to make of the Colts. I just throw them in the pile of whatever.
They're not going to beat the Chiefs, so whatever. Depending on who they play in the playoffs, they could win a playoff game, but I, if you took the threat, if you took the chiefs out of, if you just eliminated the chiefs, every team in the AFC, I feel like could get to the super bowl.
Yeah. You could make the, you know what I mean? I wouldn't try.
I still wouldn't trust the Colts to get to the super bowl. I, I'm also, I'm also still a couple game run here.
I'm very confused again by the usage of Jacoby Brissett. It seemed like last week we got away a little bit from the Jacoby Brissett package, which as far as I can tell, the Jacoby Brissett package is just like putting him into a game to make him happy.
Yes. Which, to be fair, he's got a great smile.
He gets in the game. He doesn't have to do anything.
He can do a quarterback sneak. People like his name.

He's got a cool name.

And then he jogs to the sideline, and then he's happy. And just a nice way of keeping him happy, I guess.
But there's no dual threat that you have if you have the platoon of Philip Rivers and Jacoby Brissett. It just is what it is.
And yeah, so Phil Rivers played very well. That pass he made with basically the game on the line up the seam to T.Y.
Hilton to get to first and goal, that was a big-time throw. I think Frank Reich even said it after the game, like, hey, he might be our quarterback next year too.
Okay. Which is great.
Let's keep him around. Why not? They're going to be in the playoffs.
You know what I mean? They're playing good football. This is as good as you could have hoped for with a quarterback off the street.
Yes. So, like, getting a new guy in.
Who's like a million years old. A million years old, yeah.
A trillion years old. I agree.
I don't think that they're going to make any real noise. But, again, they're a very confusing team.
So, I could be totally wrong about the Colts. Like they could catch fire, but I don't see them.
I don't see them doing it. I, I really, so we joke about like Deshaun Watson, protect him at all costs, but there are, there is a sect of Twitter that I think they just don't want Deshaun Watson to ever play another game again.
It's like getting a rare car and never driving it. They want him to just be safe, but not play football.
Like, Hey,, don't protect him. Protect him.
It's like, well, his job is to play football, so he's going to keep playing football. And he might get hurt.
This is our show quarterback. Yeah, right.
He's not to be touched. It's crazy.
What do you want here? Do you want him to play or not? Because you keep tweeting that you need to protect him. If you search protect Deshaun Watson at all costs, a a large like group of blue check marks or something like that who have tweet that basically every week yeah he's like the um the scene in spinal tap where they go and look at the guitars and the guy starts to point out he's like don't even touch it don't point at it right it's not meant don't ever play it's not meant to be played right that's just deshaun i i think that there's like it's got to be a small sect because I haven't seen it as much as you have.
I search it too just to get myself angry. Yes, you do.
You seek this out. You seek out the pain.
No, I do. Deshaun Watson is...
It's just a ridiculous thing to say. Right.
He's a great quarterback, but the Texans are such a mess right now. This isn't going to be a one-year fix for the Texans.
Yeah. Like Bill O'Brien, the crater that he's created,

much similar to his own chin,

is going to be a tough one to get out of for the Texans because they have no assets.

They're practically assetless,

and they don't really have any weapons.

Although I guess David Johnson, he's a fine player.

Yeah.

All right, next up we got Patriots-Dolphins.

Hank, it's over. 11 straight seasons the Patriots went to the playoffs.
That is a record. I don't know if it will ever be duplicate.
I guess. Well, and they should have gone that much.
The Chiefs, yeah. Yeah, but then you have to also say he'll never get hurt.
You know what I mean? It's pretty crazy. 11 straight years of going to the playoffs is insane.
They officially get eliminated today with the loss of the Dolphins.

Cam Newton's not the quarterback. Nope.
He might retire, by the way. Yeah.
Like, I don't know if he wants to be a backup. But I don't know if he wants to be a backup.
He's not a starter right now. Maybe he can play himself back into being a starter.
But if I were Cam Newton and I made a shitload of money, had a legacy where MVP, the Auburn days, winning the national title, I don't know if I'd want to suck for a few years. Go out sad.
Well, yeah, suck for a few years and have everyone be like, Cam Newton sucks. No, he was awesome.
Well, also the outfits are tough when you're losing this bad. You're not playing well.
He needs to adjust his outfits. He's admitted that too.
He doesn't have backup quarterback outfits. I don't think he owns them.
You can't be a better dresser than the starter. Correct.
That might be part of the reason why I want to keep playing though is because he needs a reason to wear all these outfits he's acquired. You think the day he retires he's going to look at his closet and be like, well, what do I do with this? What he should do is he should give himself a motivational factor and not allow himself to wear nice clothes until he starts winning.
He should basically get dressed like me for every game. Just show up with whatever he pulls out of Big Cat's pile.
And then just stand behind the podium. And then, you know what? You get one win.
Why don't you pop on the bolo tie? What do the people like Matthew Berry, not to pick on him, do now after tweeting like 31 teams passed on Cam Newton? Oh, I think you just keep it moving. It's still true.
I think you turn your focus, the people like Matthew Berry, you turn your focus on to Josh Jacobs. That was a very quick like, hey, Cam Newton is incredible.
I can't believe all these teams pass on him. Maybe teams passed on him because he's been injured and he doesn't look like the same guy that won the mvp yeah so he it's almost painful watching him throw the ball it really is like a four-year-old shooting on a 10-foot hoop it's not it's not there's nothing natural about it no it doesn't flow no i i don't think i don't i don't think he's healthy no he's like watching him throw is like watching Charles Barkley swing a golf club.
There's like hitches and weird things going on. He's still doing the long-term side effects of COVID, guys.
That's true. Good point.
That is very true. But he did play like a spaz today.
That fumble that he had was all-time bad. There's no more frustrating play in football than when somebody fumbles it right on the sideline and the defense picks it up and runs it back.
Like, if that's your team that you're watching, like, you go through all the bargaining stages like he was out of bounds. Oh, someone was out of bounds and then touched it.
Yeah, someone was out of bounds and then touched it. That guy, it looked like his toe was on the line.
Was that a late hit? Could that even be like a 15-yard personal foul? No, he was in bounds. Fuck, we're screwed.
We're absolutely screwed screwed. So while we're on the topic of outfits, the pants are mine.
Oh, yeah. Do you want them? No, I give them back.
I give them back. Yeah, I was going to say, you got to give them back.
Thank you, though. So, Hank, do you want a quarterback in the draft? Yeah.
They'll be like mid-first round, so. Fields? Trey Lance? No, Fields will go higher than that.
Trey Lance? Maybe Zach Wilson? BYU kid? Yep. Oh, no.
Interesting. What? You don't like him? That's too much of a Patriots pick right there.
Yeah, Zach Wilson. And then the Dolphins.
So Tua, he had no one to throw to today. Devontae Parker and Mike Kosicki were out.
He also had that interception, which was a terrible interception in the first quarter or whatever it was when he was on the goal line. And he just like went backwards and threw it across his body, across the field.
But he then fixed it later on in the game, and he basically had the same play and ran it in for a touchdown. So I feel like he's learning-ish.
Yeah. I don't know what it is about the Dolphins, but they win a lot of weird games in different ways.
It's like they have a chaotic way about them. They've got so many different parts of their team that can play really poorly, but also other parts that can play really well.
But there's no rhyme or reason to win which facet of the team is going to show up on any given week. The Dolphins' vibe is like a 10-year-old with ADD not taking his Ritalin.
They have something about them that's just kind of chaotic. Their defense is chaotic.
They force turnovers. Their offense is a little chaotic.
I don't know what it is, but they just have a chaotic vibe to them. All their games feel like that.
And they're always always weird scores yeah they're always there's always off they're always berman scores 22-12 yeah they're always doing something really well and something really poorly but the the combination of of their performance is always like a little bit above average right and i mean they have a they have a uh a defined identity by the way they play good defense and they can run the ball and you know hope to it can make a couple big plays. I hope they go to the playoffs.
I'd like to see them in the playoffs. This was the first time that a Dolphins running back had 100 yards in two years.
Wow. Yeah, it's been a while.
But it's not like they're a bad running football team. Right, they can run the ball.
They just don't have a Derrick Henry. Yeah, and they would have some games where Fitzpatrick would somehow get 55 yards rushing, and then their other running backs would also have 55 yards rushing.
Right. And they end up, at the end of the day, you're like, wow, yeah, they ran for 170 yards today.
That's crazy. If I were a Dolphins fan, Jake, you are, I would be very nervous about...
I'm expecting them to go to 10-6 and miss the cut. Oh, really? I think they'll get to the playoffs.
So are they not... Right now I think they're in, but the Ravens...
Oh, yeah. One of the Ravens...
The Ravens would be out right now. Yeah, the Ravens would be out right now.
So they have a big game on Saturday night against the Raiders, the corpse of the Raiders. So if I were the Dolphins, though, I'm thinking about it.
If they have to go to like Buffalo or Pittsburgh,

that's when, that is

an official sign when the candy ass uniforms

come into play. When you have to play in the cold

and you're wearing that fucking

color, you're a candy ass team.

Yeah, the lower you go, the more the

teal becomes more of a pastel

in the temperature. So you were talking about

Salvin Ahmed, 100 yards. He told his grandma who's in the hospital that he'd get 100 yards for her, and he did.
She calls him the real cheetah. How many games in a row did he say that to her, though? I mean, I don't know.
Is she okay? Did he cure her? I don't know. Is he Babe Ruth? I don't know.
Babe Ruth definitely went around and just told kids, like, hey, kid, I'm going to hit a couple dingers. Well, he was drunk.
So, like, everyone. And then when it happened, he'd be like, yep, told you.
He was just hammered going around making bold proclamations and eventually got it right. It's like when watching a game with, like, your dad, and he just constantly is like, up game, up game.
It's like, well, if you keep saying that, eventually it's going to be right. I actually imagine it's pretty similar to listen to part of my take.
Yeah. Like, we just say a bunch of stuff.
And once in a while, we're going to record three pods for you this week. Yeah.
Yeah. Do it.
Wait, what? You should just tell people, like, I'm going to record three pods. Oh, then you just do it.
Yeah, yeah. But we aren't this week.
We're only doing two. Two.
Yeah. That's why I was confused.
I was like, wait, what? This is like the one week we're not doing that. 363 days.
50 of the 52 weeks. What are Patriots fans going to do in January? Not having football to look forward to in the playoffs.
On the weekends. I don't know.
Who would have ever thought that the day would come that PFD and I are still in the hunt? Yeah. Can you imagine your team being eliminated, Big Cat? Nope.
Couldn't be me. I'll be rooting for you guys.
I want you guys to experience, you know, as someone, again, who's experienced two championship parties since this podcast has been birthed, I'm hoping for you guys to experience the same thing. Are you forgetting about the Washington Mystics and the Washington Nationals and the Washington Capitals? Those are not NFL teams.
That's true. I also feel like you're almost taking a vacation year.
It's like a vacation year. It's a COVID year.
Yeah, it's like a vacation year from being in the hunt. It's just hard when it's 11 straight playoff teams.
It's hard to be so down in the dumps. Right.
It's a good perspective. It has to happen eventually.
That's good perspective. I'll bet Belichick's going to show up at some college football games, like some of the postseason games.
He'll probably go to the Alabama games. Yes.
Just be on the sidelines as an extra coach. Yes.
Yes. All right.
Speaking of a team in the hunt, the Bears are back in the hunt. Bears 33, Vikings 27.
Matt Nagy after the game, this was a quote, you see when Trubisky has to throw the ball 21 times and we're able to run the ball with the running back for 32 attempts. It makes the offense a lot easier and it's effective.
No fucking shit, dude. How long did it take you to figure that one out? David Montgomery's awesome.
It's the division of running backs. It's crazy that he actually had that quote and said it with a straight face no fucking shit yeah putting mitch trubisky in a good situation where you don't ask him to throw 40 times a game you don't ask him to make hard reads you let him move around in the pocket and make plays with his feet holy fuck dude it only took you till it was all over like it's all over mitch is mitch is playing well i'm happy for him but it's over and now you're figuring it out i don't know if it's over though like if if this man i mean there if this match from this week and last week keeps showing up nobody's not over you're gonna re-talk yourself into mitch very quickly listen i i love that he's playing well it's over because just talking just talking realistically here, Matt Nagy's either getting fired, and if he gets fired, the new coach is not going to have Mitch Trubisky as their quarterback.
My friend, if the Bears make the playoffs, I don't think he's getting fired. No, no, I know, I know.
I don't think he's getting fired. I know, I know.
So that's what I'm saying. He's either getting fired, and if he gets fired, the new coach will get a new quarterback.
And if Matt Nagy stays, he's getting a new new quarterback he's not keeping Mitch Trubisky as a quarterback he's just not and I actually am happy for Mitch Trubisky because I hope he goes somewhere that he can have a Ryan Tannehill resurgence where like if Mitch Trubisky goes to the fucking 49ers like and and gets to be the backup there for a couple years that would be incredible I think he would would be super successful. He has some skills that can get you to a winning, that can win you football games.
I think he's looked really good the last couple of weeks. Yeah, he has.
He did have that one pick. It was very Mitch's pick.
There's a chance that he becomes the guy in Chicago and you have to go into next year and it's Matt Nagy and Mitch Trubisky. Well, he's not under contract.
Again. I would doubt that they're going to pay him money to stay.
I'm just telling you. How else would he stay? I know.
Well, if he wants to stay for free, I think they would probably let him stay for free. You would take that? I don't know, man.
There's something that... Don't do this.
I know what you're doing. No, there's something I've seen on him the last couple weeks.
Yeah, you know what it is? The switch. You know what it is? It switched Trubisky.
It got flipped. It's the Lions defense.
It's the Texans defense. It's the Vikings defense.
I think that's a coincidence that it was those teams. I think that, I don't know.
He is way better. Matt Nagy should be.
You have to grade this on a scale of Chicago Bears quarterbacks. As far as Bears QBs go, he's been lighting the world on fire fire he is it matt nagy should be fired just because of the fact that he went to nick foals with this offensive line like mitch trubisky makes this offensive line better because mitch trubisky can actually move around and avoid being sacked whereas nick foals god bless him won a super bowl he's a statue so matt nagyy's assessment of his team and how the quarterback fits with his team was so fucking off in this season that he should be fired for that alone.
Yeah. All I'm saying is don't be surprised when going into next year.
No. You're like, I'm going to have to do this again.
Mitch and Nagy. No, he's not.
Let's make it happen. Matt Nagy's not going to have Mitch Trubisky be his quarterback if he stays.
I don't know. And I like what Mitch has been doing.
And I want Mitch to go away. I want him to go be – he needs to find a better home.
If you love something, set it free. This home is not good for you, Mitch.
If it was meant to be, it'll come back. It's a broken home.
It's a broken home, broken promises. But with all that said, the Bears are still in the hunt.
And if they win out, they need the Cardinals to lose one'll come back it's a broken home it's a broken home broken promises but with all that said the bears are still in the hunt and if they win out they need the cardinals to lose one game but if they win out and that could happen because the packers could maybe maybe start no one in week 17 the bears will have a decent chance to make the playoffs i can't believe it and whatever i don't know i don't even know what i'm like i guess i i want them to go to playoffs because then i'll get myself so fucking riled up and then they'll probably get just absolutely shit canned by i don't know the saints or whatever but who the fuck cares making the playoffs is awesome yeah so you trade if you were to look back on it you would not trade the short term gratification for the fact that you would just get bounced in the playoffs have a worse draft pick and then matt nagy would stick around but in the moment like you want to be in the right i can't root against you can't and uh just side note justin jefferson saying fuck kirk come on throw the ball yes like we hear you justin was awesome we hear you i thought that was me yes that was awesome um and david montgomery is very good. So since the run, you know, the run, he's had 434 yards, 6.1 yards per carry, six touchdowns.
That's changed his career. MVP-like numbers.
People laughed at us for talking about the run. It literally created the greatest running back in history.
That run. For the last couple weeks.
Everything has opened up. Yeah.
He's fun to watch. I like him.
Yeah. He finishes runs like he's an angry runner at the end.
But, yeah, so the Bears are kind of back. And the defense, shout out the defense because they did bail out that one terrible pick for Mitch.
But I'm happy for Mitch. I'm not really happy for Matt Nagy because I don't really like him.
Is Mike Zimmer just going to keep bringing Dan Bailey out onto the field? I guess so. I think so.
I think he's like, fuck it, you're going down with the ship. You're not...
You know what? Cutting Dan Bailey right now would be too kind for him. Yeah.
He needs to stick around and Mike Zimmer wants him to face the music and deal with the consequences of his actions. Right.
Kyro Santos is awesome, by the way. It's nice to have that.
It turns out you just pay a kicker and they might actually be good. Save that clip.
Save that clip for a little bit. Whatever.
I mean, if we're in a playoff game, I'll be happy. Honestly, I will.
Because this season has been just a stupid rollercoaster of idiocy and dumb shit and drives me nuts. I actually think that Zimmer might cut Dan Bailey now after a a good game that would be smart like mike zimmer get out now mike zimmer is probably uncomfortable liking his kicker right right absolutely he's like i fucking hate this guy now that he's good absolutely where were you two weeks ago um all right the uh seahawks and washington football team yeah that game was non-divisional game non-divisional as we learned from mike mccarthy those don't really matter yeah and in a weird twist of fate like mike mccarthy might end up being a million percent correct about not caring about non-divisional games yes yeah the nfc is all you care about is the divisional game so he's right uh dwayne haskins again well dwayne haskins is the most improved quarterback quarterback in the NFL from the first to the second half this week.
Right. I've never seen a quarterback.
Not Tom Brady. No, he improved after the first quarter.
No, they scored zero points in the first half. I thought he was better in the second quarter.
They scored zero points. But most improved is what I'm saying.
Okay. Like Dwayne Haskins was, you can't get worse than Dwayne Haskins.
Right. I've never seen a quarterback throw for more zero-yard gains in my life than Dwayne Haskins.
The two sacks at the end of the game were very Dwayne, like, oh, man. Yep.
Are the Washington football team, are they going to do this? And then he took back-to-back, like, 15-yard sacks. Well, I'd also, if we're being honest, I would count this game probably more in my tie category.
Because they missed an extra point. And then they had to go for two.
So now they're down three points. And then at the end of the game, they were in field goal range.
Could have kicked a field goal. That would have tied the game at 20 apiece.
So between this game and the tie that we had against. They missed an extra point, so then they had to go for two.
So they were chasing that point, so they went for two on a later... And they didn't get it.
And they didn't get it. Now they're minus...
If they had gotten the extra point, oh, they would have had two extra points. They would have had two extra points, and then they could have kicked a field goal at the end of the tie.
So between this game and the game against the Giants earlier this year, where Ron Rivera was in fuck it mode and went for two to try to win the game at the end just because he didn't think that it would matter. That's two ties that we could have had on

a record. Which would be more than the Eagles ties.
Then the Lions game was a tie too if Chase

Young didn't push him over. The Washington football team should be three ties.
What would that be?

I'm bad at math. Six, five, and three.
Six, five, and three right now. That's what we should be.
Turns out it's looking right now, we're time traveling, it's looking like it won't really matter that much. No, it doesn't because the Eagles lost, the Cowboys won, but they needed to win, and the Giants just lost.
Maybe it turns out, and I'll put my hand up here because I don't think I ever said strongly let Russ cook, but I want to see Russ cook. I like watching Russell Wilson throw the football, but maybe, just maybe, people on Twitter aren't smarter than head coaches because the Seahawks had a very even game here.
Actually, Russell Wilson only threw for 121 yards. They ran for 181 and maybe just maybe running the ball unlocks Russell Wilson to really cook in less cooking time.
Yeah, it's a possibility. Maybe throwing the ball 50 times a game isn't winning football.
I've been saying let Chris Carson eat. And Chris Carson, he had, I think he only averaged like four yards per carry today, so it wasn't like a great, but Chris Carson is a dude where when he gets the ball, he can like, he's not really a threat to get 100 yards or like 90 yards on a breakaway run, but he'll get like 8 to 12 yards very frequently.
I think what it is is you need to let Russ cook, but the cookbook needs to be like 50 easy meals. He can make it 30 minutes or less.
Let him microwave. Yeah, he shouldn't be doing, he shouldn't be making like pastries.
Cooking pastries for an entire day. Or like elaborate cakes.
Or occasionally he can. Sometimes he can, but you don't want him to do that sometimes having ramen for dinner is perfectly fine had it last night it was awesome let russ cook a hamburger with maybe some potatoes on the side and maybe maybe cheese yeah maybe some cheese like if russ is cooking a cheeseburger and and chris carson is bringing like the the side of mashed potatoes that's going to be a good meal let r Russ warm up his buns on the grill.
That always makes you feel like you're really doing something extra. Yeah, or sprinkle a little bit of parsley on top.
Yeah. All of a sudden, this burger is now worth $30 in New York City.
Right, exactly. Let Russ get the pretzel bun.
Let him do that. That's overrated.
Pretzel bun's overrated. It makes you feel a little classy.
It does. It if you if you drink a beer out of one of those snifters that you can really get the aroma in yeah that instantly makes a beer snob like immediately hard right it could take like a average beer and turn into a great one so a pretzel bun is essentially just saying hey i don't want to feel like a sad sack eating a hamburger on my couch like oh I got a pretzel bun.
Yeah, yeah. That's a good point.
The other thing I had with this game is the NFL thought that they could sneak a new type of camera by us. Oh, my God.
Without any promotion whatsoever. And they're sadly wrong.
The camera is sweet. I don't know what kind of lens they were using for that or what it was.
They would only have it after touchdowns. It was down on the ground field level.
And it's like the same camera that they used to film porn that you have to pay for. That's the only way I can describe it.
It looks like a video game. It's the porn when they do like the – there's no music or anything behind it.
Yeah. And it's an HD camera.
Madison Ivey. Shout out Madison Ivey.
My comeback player of the year. She got hit by a car.
People forget that. Oh my God.
Well, that was like three years ago. Okay.
But she fucking, she's back, dude. Hell yeah.
She's like all the way back. It's incredible.
Like Big Ben will never. I think most porn stars are comeback players of the year.
Yeah, but this is, I mean, she's like 100 pounds. She got hit by a car.
Yeah, it's pretty impressive. It's fucking incredible.
She's back. It's like the videos where you accidentally click on one, and you have to put on the porn goggles, the 3D porn goggles, and you're like, I'm not that horny.
It looked like portrait mode. I said that, and Billy was like, wait, that's just an iPhone? I'm like, no, Billy, I was just saying that.
But you know what? Sometimes you take a portrait mode picture, and it looks like things are floating, and you're like, ooh, that's too real. Yeah.
Like, let's just go back to the regular yeah that's what it looked like by the way if i'm ever wearing any sort of headgear to help me masturbate just kill me just i've watched you do that many times shoot me in the head at that point i don't want to go on like can you imagine that just like sitting down on your couch calmly and be like all right i'm kind of horny and you've you've put a fucking helmet on to help you jack off yeah but okay counter argument i feel like those people are like well-adjusted incels instead of like let me just rage online incels i guess it's better if you're if you're putting the headgear on you're open about it well and also if you feel shame wearing like the porn goggles no i think that's a place. I think that if you reach a point where you're like, hey, look, things aren't going great for me, probably not going to be hanging out with real live girls, let me invest some of my disposable income into making my experience better.
Into a porn helmet? I'm not going to judge anyone for that. I think Glennie Balls might do that, and I'm not going to judge him.
I think he might. More power to you.
Hank's not it. I think it was just a joke.
It's not for me. But he might also have the goggles.
He definitely got goggles. Right.
But as a joke. He definitely has done it.
Right. I don't know if he does it as his routine.
Right. Can you imagine walking in on somebody wearing those? No.
Just going to town on themselves? No. That's got to be.
You look like a time-traveling alien. Yeah.
That's gotta be the worst look of all time. Yes.
Of all the worst looks, and just imagine not even... I'd imagine the person not even...
He's got his jeans at his ankles, so he didn't even step out of the loop. You know when you're that lazy? You're like, I'm not even gonna step out of the loop.
I'm not to let myself really enjoy this 3D porn. I got to sneak a quickie in real quick.
He just unzips it. He didn't even take his balls out of his dick hole on his pants, and he's got the goggles on.
You know what? We don't judge. We're a judgment-free podcast.
The bottom line is the camera that they used in the Seahawks football team game was pretty cool. Yeah, it was.
It was very cool. It was very, very cool.
And they did just do it without telling us anything have you guys done uh 4k yet have you done 4k that shit's like that i think so it's not a drug no but it makes me sound cool what do you mean you tried that 4k i don't know i don't know what on your tv yeah have you done it of course but you have to click the button where it says do you want to watch this in 4k shit's wild it's awesome is that like the motion smoothing thing? No. I don't know what.
It's just very. Yeah.
Oh, frames. Got it.
Fox has it. So when you're watching college football on Fox, it will say, you want to watch this in 4K? And every time I say to him, I'm like, giddy up.
Yeah, let's do it. And it's awesome.
It's very clear. I got to try it then.
But I stay woke. I think Fox has shitty HD cameras because they want everyone to not watch it 4K.

They do have the worst HD cameras. And they also updated Cletus this week.
They did? Yeah, he's got like a holiday theme to him. So that was kind of nice.
I love it. All right.
The bottom line is how this shakes out. The football team is going to be just fine.
I said going into this week that we didn't need this one. Yeah.
Rest are starters. But so you have your, you told me last week that you have a bottle on ice ready to go if the Washington football team gets into the playoffs.
What was it? I always keep a bottle on ice. Was it a screwball? Yeah, it's a screwball.
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Okay. Jaguars, Ravens.
Not a lot. Dez Bryant scored a touchdown.
Yeah. Who's back of the week? Throw up the X.
1,100 days. 1,106 days since his last touchdown.
That's actually really cool. We made fun of him because he's very slow.
But that's cool. This was, I don't know, the Ravens just love to beat up on teams like this.
This was never in doubt. I just, like in 10 years from now, you'll be able to get a good laugh out of being out of being like, remember when, like, Gardner Minshew? That was fucking sick.
Yeah. Minshew mania.
I hope that maybe he catches on somewhere else, but it does also feel like it's faded a little. I mean, I think he should have a really nice career as a backup quarterback.
Yeah. But that will be a fun Gardner Minshew thing.
Yeah. And it was incredible.
It's kind of like the new age. It's Linsanity.
Yeah, Joe Webb. When I get to say Joe Webb.
And everyone laughs. Joe Webb started a playoff game.
Minshew, I feel like, had for a moment, we thought he was the truth. We were like, why doesn't everyone just draft a Gardner Minshew? Yep.
And we got an all-time part of my take story. Yeah, no, I love the guy.
I think he will have a nice career as backup I wouldn't put him I wouldn't uh write him off coming in in the right spot on the right team and saving it like he is the perfect if I had a team that was set at quarterback looked good all around he's the perfect guy to bring in to be like hey if our starter goes out for three weeks Gardner Minshew can win you two two games. Yep.
Yeah. He's that guy.
He's going to be a good backup, I think. And actually, the play of the week in this game was, what's his name? Tyree Phillips, the offensive lineman.
Yes. Ran.
He's like 320 pounds. Crush people.
For a first down, just truck stick, dude. And he had immaculate ball security.
Yep. He had like two hands on it.
None of the Marshall Newhouse stuff. Yep.
Palming it with one hand. Ooh, by the way, he's on the Titans, too.
Yep. The Titans have more boys.
They have all of the boys. They've got all of the boys.
But, yeah, he had, like, when you say that an offensive lineman or a big dude is carrying the football like it's a loaf of bread, that should actually be a compliment. Yes.
Because a big dude would, he'd hold that, like, high and tight. Like, I'm hungry.
i'm not letting you steal my fucking loaf of bread yes but it was awesome like that play made watching parts of this game worth it yes i'd agree that was an awesome play um lamar was i don't know he was dicing people up that's about it he also had a couple head scratchers i like calling bad through his head yeah no that first interception was a head scratcher for sure big time head scratch big time life city but the jaguars are so bad that like that was a safety then um and then oh james robinson we we've we've shouted him out a few times on mike florio's team no big deal but uh last five rookies to have 1400 scrimmage yards and 10 tds james robinson saquon, Alvin Kamara, Kareem Hunt, and Zeke Elliott. Pretty good groupies in there.
Yeah, not bad. He's something that you have, Jaguars fans, going forward.
And the Jaguars did lose in the NFL and also won at the same time. Oh, my God.
Because now the Jacksonville Jaguars are on the clock. For the next week.
For the next week. A franchise-altering day for the Jaguars, actually.
Let's actually just do that. Let's just go to the next game.
So, yeah, we can do a nice segue here and just verbal meme. Adam Schefter tweeted out the Trevor Lawrence Photoshop in a Jacksonville Jaguars uniform again.
Oh. He's done that like.
Got it. I don't know what the mass email situation looks like at ESPN, but somehow him and Field Yates, basically everybody at ESPN that's on the air in charge of breaking news got the Trevor Lawrence Photoshop at the same time.
And now they're just using it willy-nilly. I think go one step further and cut his hair into a mullet.
Have him really ingratiate yourself into the Jacksonville community, Trevor. Yes, yes.

So what we're talking about is the Jets beat the Rams.

17 and a half point underdogs.

The Jets beat the Rams.

And it is a franchise-altering win because they were going to get Trevor Lawrence,

and he does seem like a sure, sure thing. It's the most Jets thing possible.
The Jets just suck all year, be comically bad, and then pull this game out of their hat and be like, hey, we just did the one thing we weren't supposed to do at the fucking finish line, too. Three games left.
Well, you could say that, or you could say that the Jets were the best 0-13 team 13 team of all time yeah they have to be like this is a statement win go big time beating a playoff team not they're getting they just ran out of the games yeah they're getting hot at the right time that's true only half the league goes one and oh every week they're part of that team that they're part of the half of the league yeah do you think that like hugh jackson has a miami dolphin celebration type thing like he pops a bottle of cyanide every time that a team doesn't go 0-16? Yes. Like, there has to be some correlation between those Browns teams and the Detroit Lions team.
I'm so pissed that they didn't go 0-16 just so that we can't, like, go around saying that Greg Williams was part of two-thirds of the 0-16 teams. That does suck.
Yeah, Dr. Heat.
But, so, the Jets, this also also for everyone who's like, the Jets are tanking, they're trying to lose. You can't do that in the NFL.
You cannot, like, you can't have guys who are all playing for contracts, who are playing a sport like football, go out there and, like, just half-ass it. They all are playing for pride.
They're all playing for tape. They're all playing for their next job.
So it's like when everyone says, oh, yeah, they they're bad teams but no one's trying to lose purpose no you just possible you have to luck into losing all your games or hire hugh jackson those are the only two options that's it that's the only way that you the nfl can smell out inauthenticity and they can tell when a team is trying to tank and just because the way that things work out you're going to end up fucking it up for yourself if you actively try to do that yes so and i i don't really know what the rams were doing i don't know what sean mcveigh was doing it felt weird they felt like they weren't like they've been behind a couple times this season like they just you think that they're going to come back and they just don't do it and then um i also saw that sean mcveigh called adam gaze this week at 7 15 in the morning adam gaze's time so 4 15 west coast did not stay he probably stayed on the west coast because they played against seattle last week no no against um yeah yeah the jets were out there on the west coast nobody adam gaze said it was 7 15 his time so maybe they came back he was probably in the same time zone and just added in my time he might have been but anyway on adam gay's time it's like the exact opposite of coughlin time you're always late for everything yeah so he he uh sean mcveigh called him and was like hey the guys are playing really hard for you like stay the course why would you do that why would you give him a little boost well he was trying to give him a boost and have it like go against him but it didn't work was he i don't know was he because why would you do that well i've got a couple theories maybe maybe uh there

was some monkey business going around and maybe sean mcveigh was trying to help out his good

friend bill belichick who he also talks to every week right and helping belichick keep trevor

lawrence out of the afc east hmm interesting and trying to gas him up a little bit uh i actually

See you next week. week, right? And helping Belichick keep Trevor Lawrence out of the AFC East.
Hmm. Interesting.
Trying to gas him up a little bit. I actually this is so Jets fans I know are probably very upset today.
Well, because hang on. I'm connecting all the dots.
The Patriot Belichick lost to McVay with the stipulation that McVay would pay it forward and lose to the Jets. Yes.
So Belichick gets hit. Things have a way of evening their way out when you control everything in the world.
Yeah. Bernie Adams wrote that contract.
That's my theory I'm going to stick with. So Jets fans don't want to hear this because obviously they've been thinking all year, Trevor Lawrence, Trevor Lawrence, Trevor Lawrence.
Is it crazy to say that the Jets might not want to take a quarterback with the second pick? I'm not really sold on, like, Trevor Lawrence I'm sold on 100%. The other guys, I could sell myself on them, but guess what? They also have, who's going to be there in the two-hole, is the kid from Oregon, Penaeus Sewell, who's going to be an awesome offensive lineman.
Is it not crazy to say the Jets just went Mekhi Becton, they get Penae Sewell from, I'm probably butchering his name, from Oregon. They now have two awesome offensive linemen.
See if Sam Darnold could maybe get him for cheap. Maybe be like, Sam Darnold, do you want to be a Jet all your life? You've sucked.
Sign here. It's not that much money.
You protect him now, which is their biggest issue. I don't know.
I feel like the reaction to this loss is, all right, well, now Justin Fields. But what if they don't? What if you don't go Justin Fields? What if you go the other way and say, hey, let's build up the offensive line, which smart teams do, and see if Sam Darnold, because he's probably going to be somewhat cheap because he hasn't played that well, maybe you can just extend that and keep trying with him.
In theory, that makes a lot of sense, but it's the Jets that we're talking about here. I don't know.
I just thought about that. Why not? What a good friend and resident quarterback guru Billy Football has to say about Justin Fields.
I'm not sold on any Ohio State quarterback ever. I know people will say that's biased, but it's the truth.
Is a better quarterback. But actually, so this was my favorite.
For the Jets. This was my favorite take that Billy had today.
Billy said, without a trace of irony or sarcasm, that Trevor Lawrence, even if the Jets had the number one pick, Billy would not take Trevor Lawrence because Trevor Lawrence has won too much in college. Yeah, he's 38-1.
So he's not going to be used to coming into a losing environment and having to deal with all the pressures that come along with having to deal with defeat all the time. So according to Billy, you should never draft a quarterback who's been successful before if you have a bad strategy.
He's always had a supporting cast. Unlike Justin Fields, who has, I guess, lost a lot in college.
I think he's had a little more, like, basically. What? Where? A little more adversity.
I'm just saying Justin Fields, I think, would be able to make more offense. What adversity? He would be able to make more offense.
In the Jets, sort of, dystopian. Justin Fields lost one game, right? He lost one game last year.
Look, if you take Trevor Lawrence and then just put him on the Jets, I think he's sort of going to be like, oh shit type moment where he realizes that this isn't Clemson. And the Jaguars are? I think the Jaguars have a better situation.
Really? Than the Jets? Yeah. No state income tax.
Exactly. Yeah.
But you know what? I like the theory, Billy. I'm going to sign up for it.
I just don't know if I – Trevor Lawrence has won too much in college to be a successful NFL player. I feel like the reaction is obviously like, all right, with Justin Fields, we'll just move to that.
But I don't know. Why not just not take a quarterback and just see if Sam Donald can maybe get a little bit better and maybe actually put some weapons around him and have him behind an offensive line I don't know I think I think Sam Donald if you think that Mitch Trubisky is scarred and you you love him so much that you'd like to see him leave I feel like Jets fans feel the same way it's like yeah he could be good but you know what not here but see the difference they're going to make somebody so very happy one day, Sam.
So the difference is Mitch Trubisky, and this is not of any knowledge, but I'm just guessing, he doesn't want to be in Chicago anymore because, you know, the Bears benched him. Matt Nagy benched him.
Like, it's not gone well. Sam Darnold said last week he wants to be a Jet his entire life.
He's like, I want to finish my career as a Jet. I think it's a little different when you have the quarterback that you haven't benched yet.
Mitch, once you bench a guy, it's kind of over. Yeah.
It's hard to come back from benching a guy and then being like, no, actually, just kidding. You're still our guy.
If Sam Darnold actually feels that way, then yeah, that's one thing. But if I were Sam Darnold, there are just too many bad memories everywhere i look well i would be seeing ghosts all the time he said that though he said he wants to stay on the jets he's like i want to finish my career as a jet so there's actually another good segue like could you ever we'll talk eagles carlos could you ever imagine carson wentz like i can't imagine carson wentz starting for the eagles again well he said that he i think doug peterson can imagine him starting for the Eagles again.
I think Doug Peterson hates him. Doug Peterson has again refused to commit to a quarterback after this game.
Yeah. So like, who knows what's going on in his head, but he just, I guess, he just can't make up his mind.
But Carson Wentz said after the game that he wants to remain a Philadelphia Eagle. Much like Sam Donaldson.
Wait, but he said before the game he doesn't want to be a backup. You're right.
Which is crazy because you play like a backup. But who knows how that report came out.
That was probably maybe his agent said that. I don't know.
But he contradicted that after the game. So things are all over the place.
I think he contradicted it because Carson Wentz saying, I don't want to be a backup. And everyone being like, but dude, you're playing like a backup.
Don't play like a backup and you won't be a backup he looked like a clown so he had to walk it back and be like no no i want to be on the eagles right but then he's probably telling his agent trade me because i don't want to be a backup right he's not i don't think that you'd want a quarterback that would be happy with being benched yeah ideally like he's he carson wentz is not going to accept like a backup role somewhere this offseason.

And Jalen Hurts, like the team, I don't know, they just look a lot more alive.

I don't understand what Carson Wentz do to Eagles fans to get them, like they all have Stockholm Syndrome.

One of our video guys, Max, he was out there watching the game with us, and I said to him, I was like, look how good Jalen Hurts is. Do you think everyone on the Eagles hates Carson Wentz? He's like, no, no, no, Carson Wentz is still good.
And then I'm like, do you want Carson Wentz to play right now? I was like, no, but, and I asked him straight up, I was like, would you rather have the Eagles win this game with Jalen Hurts or Carson Wentz? And he's like, Carson Wentz. Something about Carson Wentz has every Eagles fan in a trance.
Because they got, well, first of all, they drafted him with, what, the number one overall pick or whatever it was? Was it two? Two, yeah. Yeah, second overall pick.
So, like, that's a guy that you've, you always want to be in love with that guy. You always want to think, like, yeah, we were right to do that.
I feel good about that draft in retrospect. You want to go back and look at all the haters that downgraded you on draft day and take screenshots of the bad draft recap articles.
Be like, why'd you give the Eagles a C on draft day? We got question wins. He was the starting quarterback in a season when they won the Super Bowl.
That's true. That is true.
I think they feel responsible for sort of making him bad because – They were mean to him? Well, basically when Nick Foles won the Super Bowl, Philly fans have that feeling of grief. Are you talking about guilt? Yeah.
Yeah, no, that's the wrong city. Yeah.
Well, why do they have such an attachment to it? I don't know. It's bizarre.
It's brotherly love. They want him to succeed because they want to believe that he could have won that Super Bowl and he's the continuation of that Super Bowl.
Yeah, it's like a combination. They don't want to admit that they got anything wrong on draft day and they also don't want to admit that they were wrong to run Nick Foles out of town.
But again, if Nick Foles stuck around, Nick Foles sucks. I think that they would be more frustrated with Nick Foles.
Philadelphia Sports Talk Radio would be clamoring carson wentz if they had kept nick foals around somehow and made him the starter and kept carson wentz as the backup which carson wentz needs to have a little better understanding of the dynamics of sports talk radio in our nation's mid-atlantic region because if he just sticks around long enough he's a backup he's a backup and and yeah the the first sign of adversity Carson Wentz again. That's every city in America.
Yeah, he's just a little short-sighted. Give it time.
Trust me. If I know Eagles fans, they will go back to liking the backup quarterback soon enough.
Yes. This game was awesome, though.
Kyler versus Jalen Hurts. Oklahoma quarterback.
Seven touchdowns combined. The Eagles almost found a way to win it.
Also, the Cardinals defense, Vance Joseph is a very good defensive coordinator. They're playing very good defense.
They're giving up some points, but they're sacking the quarterback. I don't know.
I just want to give him a little credit. He's having time in his life.
Yeah. My brain is so twisted.
I thought that the football team beat the Cardinals last week for a little bit today just because it was in that stadium. I've counted that in my mind as being a Cardinals win.
Fun stat, this is the first time since 2018 that – no, I'm sorry. No, yeah.
The Eagles have not beaten a Bird team since September 6, 2018 when they beat the Falcons. That's a long time.
So I think they're like 0-8 or something like that against bird teams. Real problem.
Real problem up there. Real problem with bird teams.
Larry Fitzgerald had a nice little touchdown. Yep.
It was an ass touchdown. And Larry Fitzgerald, he's got a big butt.
He's an ass man. He's an ass man.
And he got one cheek down. A smaller ass man would not have had that touchdown.
Right. A nice little imprint.
Yeah. We're all thicknesses.
He's so thick. I don't know what.
The Eagles are still alive somehow, right? Are they? Yeah, they're still alive. Everyone's still alive.
They're still alive. If the football team loses out, the Giants lose out, and they win out, they can still make it.
Okay. It's a possibility.
Yeah, it is. And I need the Cardinals to lose now.
I'm rooting heavily, heavily against the Cardinals. That's kind of all I had for this game.
That's about it. It was a chaos game.
Arizona has a nice chaos stadium. They play late Sunday afternoon.
Arizona, that stadium might fill the void of Phil Rivers. Well, yeah, because that's where the Seahawks and Patriots played ever since that game.
Actually, you know what? Before that, even when it was the old shootouts between the Cardinals and the Packers. Yeah, Carson Palmer, yes.
That whole thing? It's a chaos stadium. It's a late-in-the-afternoon chaos stadium, which I kind of like.
All right, last up, Chiefs-Saints. Chiefs are so fucking good.
The Chiefs are 22-1 in their last 23 games. That's pretty good.
That's decent. Put it to me in calendar years.
Year and a half. Fuck.
Year and a half they've gone 22-1. That's incredible.
Yes. Year and a half.
And Patrick Mahomes, somehow, you think he's done all the stuff. You think that there's no more stuff that Patrick Mahomes can do.
More stuff. And then Andy Reid is like, hey, I got a new thing that you can do.
And whether it's doing the Dr. Pepper Skills Challenge shovel chest pass to Travis Kelsey.
Yep. Or throwing laterals to Le'Veon Bell, throwing passes to the offensive tackle eligible.
There's no more stuff to do. The lateral, I think I tweeted he's just playing a different game.
He really is. Anyone else does that play and you're like, how stupid is that? He doesn't.
You're like, whoa, it worked and it was awesome. Yeah.
And the thing about the chiefs offense is you know that they're going to take one of these new things that he did and then have that be like a fake element in a play that they run next yeah lateral right it'll be like a fake it'll be like a shovel pass to travis kelsey who throws it behind his back to tyreek hill yep scores a touchdown and drinks seven airplane bottles of pickle juice Yep, and the Chiefs are kind of letting – I feel like they just let teams – they've killed the Bucs and I feel like they killed the Saints, but they just kind of let them back in for the backdoor. Yeah, the Saints were hanging around a lot.
It was a bat game for the Saints. But it never really felt like the Chiefs were out of control of it.
Are we worried at all about Drew Brees? One for 11 on third down. I think he started the game 0 for 5.
He looked so bad. He wasn't even able to throw his normal Drew Brees like three-yard swing passes.
Do you think maybe his shoulders hurt? Or his ribs. I have a new Saints fans probably just hate me now because I just keep coming up with these stupid theories but I think Michael Thomas hates Drew Brees

hmm

he was Michael Thomas

was playing

he was on the IR when Drew Brees

was healthy he was on the I

punched right our cornerback

in practice our Drew Brees got hurt

and there was a little bit of

overlap Drew Brees gets hurt he plays

doesn't get hurt then Drew Brees comes back

he goes right back on the IR I think he's trying

to avoid Drew Brees you think they just don't like each

Thank you. And there was a little bit of overlap.
Drew Brees gets hurt. He plays, doesn't get hurt.
Then Drew Brees comes back. He goes right back on the IR.
I think he's trying to avoid Drew Brees. You think they just don't like each other? Yeah, I think he's trying to avoid them.
I mean, that's as good a possibility as anything else. I think that's more likely than his ribs.
Do you think that his ribs aren't hurt at all? No, I think his ribs are hurt. I just think his shoulders also hurt.
They did make a big deal about all the different flak jackets he was wearing. And you could tell, like Drew Brees, I personally think that he's lost about 35 pounds in the last year.
He just ribs alone. He looks skinny.
Yeah. Yeah.
And he looks emaciated out there. Yeah.
But I think maybe some of that was the flak jacket was pushing the shoulder pads up, made him look like he was 110 pounds soaking wet. I also, I mean, and still the Saints are definitely in the Super Bowl contention.
They can get to the Super Bowl. They actually made Mahomes kind of run for his life a little bit.
Their defense is still very good. If they can essentially just figure out a way to survive Drew Brees going to Lambeau, which, again, I don't know if his body can handle it.
No. Well, they can't handle the pressure of being on an airplane.
Yeah, that's true. You're not allowed to fly with broken bones.
They start driving right now. Yeah, get up there.
Take a bus up there. Taysom Hill will play the first two rounds.
You think Andy Reid, when he found out Drew Brees, he's like, yeah, his ribs are tender.

His mouth started to water.

He's like, yeah, I bet that. Oh, man.

Andy Reid has definitely considered eating Drew Brees today.

Yes.

Yes.

Figuring out the best way to prepare would probably be just like, I feel like he'd stew

him.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe braise him.

Yeah.

Maybe put him in a big green egg.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe a little ketchup on top. Yeah.
Overnight. The Chiefs are just so good, though.
I don't know. So we're at this weird point now where it's – I feel like a lot of people don't want to just say, hey, the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl again because we want there to be intrigue and also stating the obvious is lame.
But the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl't see a way that i may maybe the bills maybe those bills maybe those bills maybe those browns yeah but the chiefs are probably gonna win the chiefs yeah they're gonna patrick mahomes with an eye patch would still be the best quarterback in the nfl it's crazy took if you confiscated one of his eyesights he would still be... I think...
Yeah, I just think that

he's that much different than...

Is that a phrase? He's that different.

He's built different. He's built different.

If you made him close an eye, he'd probably still

be able to do 70% of the shit

that he does right now.

It sucks for everybody else

that's not the Chiefs. Just knowing

Chiefs are probably going to win

half the Super Bowls in the next 10 years. I was actually going to ask you, at what point are we going to start hating Chiefs fans? We're not there yet, but it's going to happen and I hope Chiefs fans, I hope you know this Chiefs fans, you can't win and have America still love you.
The problem is, eventually we're going to hate you. Their most notable fan is Paul Rudd, who's the most likable person in the world.

I know.

Fuck that guy.

So maybe, yeah.

I think we need to have, like,

one of their biggest fans have some terrible scandal.

The guy from the show.

The guy from the show, uh-huh.

Nick Wright is a Chiefs fan.

Nick Wright's a Chiefs fan?

No, the guy from the show.

Modern Family. Which guy? The fat guy.
Does anyone hate him? He's a Chiefs fan. No, the guy from the show.
Modern Family. Which guy? The fat guy.
Does anyone hate him? He's a Chiefs fan. Cam.
He's a Chiefs fan, right? He's a Chiefs fan. We said Paul Rudd.
Yeah, Paul Rudd, nicest guy ever. A little too nice.
What's he hiding? Who else? He dated his underage sister in Clueless. Who else? That's true.
People don't talk about that. Who else? I think that's about it.
Joe Buck. Jackson Mahomes.
Yeah, Jackson Mahomes. We need Jackson to come out and have like a big winter online for people to get really riled up.
What's his name? Fuck. Rob Riggle.
Rob Riggle's a Chiefs fan. Rob Riggle, Jason Sudeikis.
Okay. This is the problem.
These guys are just too nice. Rob Lowe.
They went into a couple more Super Bowls. Rob Lowe's going to start being a Chiefs fan.
God damn it. All right, well, Chiefs fans, look, we don't hate you yet, but I'm just giving you the warning that you guys are too good and eventually America will turn on you.
It happens to everyone. The other problem is the team is almost too fun to hate.
Yeah, I know that is. They would have to not only have some sort of massive Pizzagate style blow up amongst their entire fan base, but also completely play a different style of football.
Right, right. So we'll see.
We'll see. They basically, do they have the one seat kind of locked up now? Right.
Who do they play? Who's the, who's the, who do they have left on their schedule? Find that for us, Jake. I think it's probably, it's gotta be like the, the Broncos maybe.
No, they already played the Broncos. They play the Chargers.
Actually, the Chargers kind of gave them a good game. Remember that? Home Falcons, home Chargers.
Home Falcons, home Chargers. So they're on the table.
Okay, yeah. So they got the one seed.
Whatever. Alright, let's do our Football Guy of the Week before we do that.
PFT. 3Chi? Yeah, you know how I like to hang out sometimes on the weekends.
If I've had a long week, part of my take, last week was a long. You got to unwind with a little 3Chi.
We all like 3Chi. It's the most popular thing that we advertise in terms of like people at Barstool are always asking to get more samples of the product because it's legit.
3Chi is the leader in Delta 8 THC products. I'm going to shoot you straight.
It's like smoking weed and it's not weed. It's a type of weed.
It's THC. It's federally legal, but it's different from the stuff that you find in normal weed, which is Delta 9.
It'll get you feeling really nice. It'll have you melting into your couch.
It'll have you just feeling amazing about most things. I love 3G.
I love Delta 8. It's federally legal.
It's a perfect hybrid of CBD and Delta 9. So you get that similar buzz and all the medicinal effects of Delta 9 without the laziness, the anxiety, the paranoia, or the mental fogginess.
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I will say that again. I'll say it every time because you want to see how this hits.
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Football guy of the week, Jake. So the most nominated thing I got tagged in all year long was the heart attack high school coach, right? Yep.
Second was this lion's center, Frank Ragnar. The throat fracture.
Suffered the fractured throat. Yeah.
And he's okay If you're a center, do you have to communicate Verbally during games? I'm pretty sure you have to call out the mic, right? Right So how is he doing that? I think he was writing on a piece of paper and slipping it past Just using ESP to the other lineman? Pointing at him, yeah. Grunting?

So he's our first nominee.

I think he's going to win it.

Probably.

Friend of the program, Sean McVay,

who spent his off day last week watching 12 straight hours of football

on the Red Zone channel,

and when his fiancée asked if he wanted to do anything else, he said nope.

Okay, well, first of all, Sean McVay, you're a fraud

because it's not 12 hours of football on the Red Zone channel. So anyone that's ever watched the Red Zone channel would know that they started by saying what? Seven hours of commercial free football.
I don't know. Seven hours? No, I'm talking about Hanson.
Hanson says it. Seven hours of commercial free football starts now.
So Sean McVay, football card revoked. Next, Nebraska

linebacker Garrett Nelson. This was

actually a nomination courtesy of

Will Compton, who you mentioned earlier,

who played through missing two

teeth after a tight end put his shoulder

into his jaw. He said he put some

straws in there once in a while, and it's pretty

fun. That is fun.
That's a good

time. Two teeth.
Two teeth. It's not that

many. As our friend Chris Long would say,

a hockey player could never.

Little feel-good story. Colts

Thank you. fun.
That is fun. That's a good time.
Two teeth. Two teeth.
It's not that many. And then as our friend Chris Long would say a hockey player could never.
Yeah. Little feel good story.
Colts punter Rigoberto Sanchez resumed punting duties today with Indianapolis just 20 days after getting a cancerous tumor surgically removed. Okay.
Football guy of the week. Go vote for it.
Some good nominations this week. Good nominations.
Do we do baby braun of the week or do we just say it's Charlie Woods? Because it's Charlie Woods. Yeah, it's probably Charlie.
It's probably Charlie Woods. It's probably Charlie Woods.
And boy, are people fawning over Charlie Woods. And Des Bryant.
And Des Bryant. I feel mildly uncomfortable with the Charlie Woods.
I think it's great. Charlie Woods, awesome golfer.
Pretty cool to see him out there playing well. The level of, like, we need more video of Tiger Woods' son, it's, uh, well, what? In people's defense, they were promoting this event but not showing it.
Wait, what? It, like, wasn't on TV. It was like a delay.

People were seeing the social clips, but you couldn't find the actual

broadcast of it until later in the afternoon.

But it is also

kind of weird. I'm saying it's like we're

reliving time and

completely forgetting all the

lessons that we've ever learned. Let's make Charlie Woods

our savior for golf.

And he's, what, 11? Let's put all of our

hopes and dreams on Charlie Woods' tiny

little shoulders. This won't fail.

He'll be right back. lessons.
Let's make Charlie Woods our savior for golf. Yeah.
And he's what, 11? Let's put all of our hopes and dreams on Charlie Woods' tiny little shoulders.

This won't fail.

He'll become a well-adjusted adult like his

dad. I hope that he gets so hyper-competitive

that he actually hates playing with his dad

because he keeps losing with him. Yeah.

Yes. Yes.
Although, dude, do you

see that swing? He could probably beat Tiger now. I mean

250 yards on a fucking

rope. He did that? Well, he put it within like four yards, Shit.
The pictures were amazing. It looked like a crazy expensive Nike ad.
My question is when they practice, do they intentionally just always swing the club at the same time? Because every single clip that I've seen has them warming up and it's like synchronized swings. Yeah.
Is that like, that's probably intentional. Yes, it has to be.
Don't quote me on this, but I think I've heard once that it's bad etiquette at the driving range to swing at the same time as the person next to you. Oh.
Yeah. I don't know if that's right.
That's a bold statement by you, Jake. No, don't quote me.
Okay, all right. I'm going to quote you.
When I'm at the range, I try not to swing at the same time as the person next to you. But you're like a super nice guy.
Are you blaming Tiger or Charlie? Are we saying that Charlie is bad for golf? Blame the 11-year-old, Jake. Do it.
Blame the 11-year-old. Charlie Woods is bad.
He's the Riley Curry of golf. Have some balls.
Blame the 11-year-old. I don't know.
Golf Curry will let us know. Yeah.
Should we talk a little college football? So the Final Four is out. It is Alabama 1, Clemson 2 ohio state three doter dame four texas a&m fans are mad cincinnati fans are mad which i i can kind of actually understand cincinnati fans do you have any takes about cincinnati fans no just in general i think they got it right yeah they probably did but if you're in cincinnati just take this to you can claim your own national title yeah absolutely yeah just by all means like this is your chance to be ucf go win your bowl game we played we played we went undefeated yep their schedule wasn't that soft they had a they had like a problem was that all the teams they played ended up kind of sucking yeah but that's not their fault smu kind of sucked ucf had a down year play who you play yeah but still if you're're Cincinnati, take this occasion, you have a national title.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I've been repping Cincinnati all year. I thought they were a good team.
I get it. I get it because people are like, well, Notre Dame's just going to get killed by Bama.
But everyone would get killed by Bama in that spot. And if we're going to reward resume, Notre Dame had a better resume than Texas A&M.

I'm sorry, but it's just a fact.

It's true. The people who actually

have a gripe I'm going to get

mad for, Indiana fans

should be upset, and they have a right to be upset

because Iowa State has lost three

games, and they're going to New Year's

Six Bowl. And Georgia lost

two games, and they didn't beat anyone, and

they're going to New Year's Six Bowl. Indiana

should have gone to a

New Year's Six Bowl. They should be

I have to about that. And Army.
Yeah, if you're an Army fan out there, respect the troops. Mississippi State is in the Armed Forces Bowl, and they're 3-7.
That's wild. Well, I mean, yeah, everyone gets to a bowl game.
Wisconsin's playing in the Mayo Bowl. But how are you not going to put Army in the Armed Forces Bowl? I don't know.
I don't know. That makes no sense.
Bowl season's going to be very weird this year. Wait, who's Wisconsin playing against? Wake Forest.
That would be awesome. Duke's Mayo Bowl.
That'd be sick if it was like Wisconsin against BYU in the Mayo Bowl. In the Mayo Bowl.
That would be sick. But, yeah, Indiana fans, you have every right to be upset.
It's bullshit. The three-loss Iowa State team shouldn't be ahead of you.
Georgia didn't beat anyone. And Texas A&M fans, I know you're upset too, but whatever.
You lost to Bama by fucking, like, 30. Yeah, and with Notre with Notre Dame it was weird the timing of the quotes that came out from Brian Kelly saying like I'm not sure if we want to go play in the playoffs if our families can't be there he was like negging them why did he say that before the game I don't know even started I don't know I don't know and I get it Notre Dame looked terrible against Clemson but still beat Clemson earlier in the year.
And their win against UNC was very impressive. So I don't know.
They have a good resume. The four best teams are in, and it's going to be Alabama-Clemson.
Okay, so get ready for Alabama-Clemson. If it were up to me, I'd say instead of going 18 playoff, just have Alabama and Clemson play a three-game series.
a three game series play home home and then one neutral site if it goes to the deciding game I'm fine with that and also put army in because that is fucked up that army I want to make a point of that they're an entire team of fullbacks they're America's team and you've got South Carolina who fired their coach 2-8 South Carolina is a bowl game. Yeah, every team gets to go to a bowl game this year.
It's kind of crazy how bowl season just starts today. Yeah.
No break. I know.
Oh, really? You're going right into it? App State, North Texas today, 2-30. Let's go.
All right, it's football weekend. Let's fucking go.
Yeah, no, there's still a bunch of bowl games. It's going to be very weird.
And, yeah, I don't know really what, like, the Rose Bowl is is not going to be. Sorry, the semifinals is not going to be at the Rose Bowl.
I don't even know if the Rose Bowl is happening. They moved it from the Rose Bowl.
Yeah, so are they still going to call it the Rose Bowl? I think so. I like that.
That's such a troll move that I kind of like the fact that it's going to be the Rose Bowl in Texas. Well, the Olympics are 2020 Tokyo still.
Oh, really? Where are they playing? No, we're redoing 2020. 2021.
Oh, yeah. But they're still being called 2020.
I mean, the Rose Bowl has been played in North Carolina before in 1942 after Pearl Harbor. So I guess there's precedent to have the Rose Bowl in a different place.
But, yeah, and then I don't know what's going to happen with the Heisman. I was tweeting about it a lot on Saturday night.
I bet Trevor Lawrence 20-1 to win on Thursday or Friday. So hopefully he wins, but I don't think he will.
I was just doing it because I was hoping that there's enough stupid college football voters out there. Oh, there are.
Didn't watch any of the college football. And then they see the names.
They're like, who's Mac Jones? Oh, but I know Trevor Lawrence. I mean, I think that the whole conversation about the Jaguars getting the first overall pick and it being a lock for Trevor Lawrence gets that narrative out there enough where everyone.
How could you not have the number one pick? Yeah, he's the best player in college football. It's a fact.
It's a fact. All right.
Let's finish up the show. We got who's back of the week to finish this up.
And then reminder, we have a show on Wednesday this week. No show Friday.
That's Christmas Day. We'll be back Monday for next week because we're going to recap week 16, so it's a regular show.
And then Wednesday will be Best Of. So that is our schedule for the next two weeks.
Who's back of the week? Brought to you by McDonald's. The McRib is back.
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How can you not get the McRib? It's an event. PFT, literally, I see him every Wednesday.
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That's my McRib day. Looks delicious.
Two McRibs, fries, and a McDonald's Sprite. I might get a McRib tomorrow.
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Hank, who's back of the week? My who's back of the week is those immoral cheating scumbags over at Dude Perfect. Oh! That was going to be my who's back of the week.
Damn. The Dr.
Pepper challenge was back kind of this weekend, not really. But Dude Perfect, for whatever reason, hosted one of these Dr.
Pepper challenges. I hosted all of them.
Not all of them. One was Brady Quinn versus Matt Lyon.
Yeah, it seemed like some of them were virtual. Then the one I watched was Dude Perfect.
Anyway, I'm watching it. The girl on the left, Chamari, was just throwing darts.
Had a comeback win at the last second. It was tied 7-7.
Last second. Threw it in.
It went in. She scored at the buzzer.
They disallowed it, said it didn't get off in time

even though there's a screenshot

clearly showing that the ball was released

with time on the clock.

Fuck VAR.

It went to overtime

and she lost to a kid named Tate.

So it's just like,

clearly Dude Perfect had an agenda.

They didn't want to let this girl win.

They made sure their fucking Tate,

their buddy Tate,

won $125,000,

taking money away from this girl who needed it for college. They looked around, and Dude Perfect was like, we're missing one thing, and that's a Tate.
Mm-hmm. We've got...
And Beardo, by the way, put himself front and center. Oh, my God.
If I was Dude Perfect... You think? Like, I never realized how much Tall Guy and Purple Hoser carry Dude Perfect until I was subjected to...
And the twins't yeah they're pretty good they're they're nice role players yeah but like seeing beardo solo oh like strictly beardo out there about himself it was disgusting it was it was honestly sickening i felt ill watching him hog the spotlight while the twins were like an afterthought i think i saw the twins in like one drone shot when they had, when Beardo was going out on his motorized skateboard, like avoiding all the obstacles and then making it all about himself, throwing a trick shot in from half court. Yep.
Before we're here to watch these kids try to earn free school for themselves. It was, it was disgusting.
There's no, there's no eye in dude. Perfect.
Yep. I don't know how they sleep at night.
Honestly, it's gross. It's gross.
I didn't even go back to the replay. Like that, you know.
That girl got cheated. Clear as day.
Yeah. She could have gone to college and cured cancer.
Yeah. Congrats, Dude Perfect.
Maybe a semester. You got a butterfly effect.
She's got one semester. She's got millions of people, Dude Perfect.
Now she's going to have a bunch of... Bringing her total to like 100 million.
Yeah, she's going to have a bunch of tuition, you know loans that she she then has to take whatever job out of college just to pay the loans instead of maybe becoming a doctor like you ruined everything you ruined everything perfect it's really sad dude perfect is an indictment on the entire american educational system yep um pft so that was your who's back as well i was considering talking about dude talking about Dude Perfect. Yeah, that'll be my who's back.

Okay.

My who's back is Martin Shkreli, recurring guest.

Kind of weird that this happened after we talked about him the other day,

but he's actually trending right now.

I can't wait to read this story tonight.

So apparently there's a journalist who spent a year interviewing him and fell in love with him and got divorced, moved out of her house all because she fell in love with Martin Shkreli. It looks like a wild story.
You're missing the best part. Yeah.
He ghosts her. Dude, I just said I was going to read it.
Well, people at home aren't going to read it. But I was going to read it.
Why won't they? I'm sure a lot of people will read this.

Okay, okay.

I won't say anything else.

It's the biggest story out there right now, and it does look like a wild ride.

I'm very excited.

This lady threw away her entire life.

Life for Martin Shkreli.

To be fair, Martin Shkreli is super charming and incredibly hot.

That dude is, man, that guy's got it all going on.

Why did Christy Smith upend her life and stability for Martin Shkreli, one of the least liked men in the world? Probably because he fucks. Oh, man.
Man. All right, what's your who's back, Billy? Should we talk about it? Yeah.
You're going to fight Jose Canseco as my champion. Jose Canseco is trying to beat up Big Cat.
Well, all right, backstory. I'm the only, yeah.
Backstory. So two years ago, I jose canseco was going at a rod for something i was like i'm gonna have to fight jose canseco at rough and rowdy now uh i i think we talked to him or something there was some kind of weird stipulations either way jose canseco is now calling me a coward listen dude yeah i probably am at this point hand up there's a couple things that have happened in those two years one I got two years older two I became a father three I we did the pen deal and I don't need the money as much as I did two years ago that's just stating facts so if you want to call if you add all that up and be like hey you're a coward I'll fucking put my hand up and be like yeah I'm a coward I don't I don't care.
Call me a coward or whatever. Just play the dad card all day.
Well, if that is a coward, then I will absolutely say I am a coward. Hand up.
But I have found a champion in my place. Learn Game of Thrones, Jose.
Ever heard of it? My champion is Billy Football. I will have him fight in lieu of me, which I think is that's those are If I can find a champion for me, Billy is fighting for my honor.
He's your fall guy. Right.
One of the two. Right.
Anyway, I have to fight 6'4", 250-pound Jose Canseco. All right, so here's the other thing.
I'm ready. I'm ready for it.
I have a thought process. Billy is obsessed with size, just like in general.
In the animal kingdom, Billy has a weird thing where he respects Jose Canseco's mass so much that he's like, this dude, he's just big. So you think that he can – have you watched him fight? He sucks at fighting.
Billy thought – Billy is less concerned about Jake Paul, who actually wants to be a professional boxer because Billy thinks he's an inch taller than him than he is Jose Canseco, who's 56 years old, and fights like an alligator. Well, just in lieu of things, if I were to get into a boxing match with Jake Paul, I'd have a little weight on him.
If we got into those wrestling things where they link up, I'd be able to toss him around and make sure I don't die. You got this.
This guy's huge. No, no, I'm totally ready now.
I've thought about it. I've watched his fight.
All right, so Jose, you're – Yeah, Jose. It's up.
I'm a coward. Hand up, whatever.
I don't care. Call me all the names, but I have my champion.
He is Billy Football. He will fight in my place.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Jose needs this fight more for his own relevancy at this point in his career. So either you can fight Billy Football or we can just be like, I'm a coward and move on.
Yeah. Those are easy options.
So Billy, I know you're a little intimidated by him. I'm not at this point.
You need to get past that. Dude, you're going to kill him.
Jose, my guess is he's probably going to take steroids before this fight. Yes.
Right now he looks like you left a basketball in the sun for a couple weeks for i don't think he can afford steroids at this point so i'm not so you can't afford steroids worst comes to worst what if i went what if i what if i jose billy don't listen to this part yo dude stop calling me a coward online i'll pay for your steroids that's a good deal i might dm him and say that be like hey can you quit it with the coward shit but like steroid buffet on me i think he would take no jose it's probably more important to jose to like be allowed to call somebody a coward he just tweeted to get money judging by his past financial uh methods that he's used well the options on the table jose he's also a world-class snitch people don't talk about that yeah he's a rat snitch think yes anyway all right so you'll fight him or we'll stop talking about it yeah like that's that's one of those ones that like let's just either do it or or no because i think i said this two years ago i was what i would fell asleep for 22 minute nap on saturday it's like my only nap all week. And I woke up and I was like, what is going on? Where is this clip from? Oh, it was two years ago.
So that's, Billy, you are my champion. So I'm not scared of him.
Worst comes to worst, I'll just run away in the ring and just get out alive. No, no, no.
No, Billy. But that's at this point before I start.
I'm not scared of him, but if I do fight him, I will try to avoid him. Basically, I'm not going to out-muscle him.
I'm going to use my athleticism and basically youth to beat him. It's not going to be an easy task.
It's going to take a lot of training. I'm hyped because I finally have another athletic goal in life and need those because it's always more fun to work out.
That's really where I fall off because i i think i were if i can put myself back in my time of like when i said that i think that was right when i was like hey this will be my last shot of trying to get in shape that is passed i'm done with that yeah that whole like hey maybe if you work out really hard you can get it back like that's once you have a kid it's over and and don't sell yourself short you did you ran a marathon with zero days training right i am sort of a freak athlete yeah yeah like if we're being honest i'm kind of like billy might be one of the best athletes of all time no not actually but i'm fighting the human steroid and i'm not gonna like out muscle him so i got well you might because you might also take steroids. I don't think I will.
Which I will pay for as well.

I will pay for all the steroids.

I recently discovered that I might have a thyroid problem,

so I need to meet with an endocrinologist in New York City.

For your HG.

No, no, no.

I have a thyroid problem.

To discuss his thyroid problem.

I need to discuss my thyroid.

I think I have a lot of TSH or something.

So if you're an endocrinologist in the New York City area,

please send me to my DMs. And I will pay.
And Big Cat insurance. I will pay for all the steroids in this fight.
I'm not going to do steroids, but I might need to balance out my endocrinological hormones. Sure.
Okay. So I'm excited for it, Billy.
Yeah, I'm actually so proud. I don't think it's going to happen because I just don't think Jose's going to do it.
I've been DMing with Jose, and it's a wild ride. Does he sound like he's going to do it? Yeah, but there's a...
We've tried to get him on the show before, and I think he said it was like $10,000. Yeah.
And we're like, okay, no. And then his producer kept hitting us up for the next year, being like, yo, I heard you talking shit about Jose on your podcast again.
When are you going to have him on? Like, buddy, that ship has sailed. But also, just on the record...
And the P. Rose are the only people to ever ask for money to appear on the record i don't i don't even i i don't want to even talk shit about jose because i don't want to even think about like i there's nothing more annoying than having someone hit us up and be like we should come on but you got to pay us yeah i remember reading jose can take his book when i was in college that thing that thing sucked actually my favorite part was when he was like, also in the late 80s, I could have fucked Madonna, but I didn't want to because she wasn't hot enough.
He tossed that in at the end of one of the chapters. That's actually kind of sick.
Respect. Yeah.
Just turn her down. All right, so we're good.
We're clear. I am a coward.
I'm cool with that. Billy is my champion.
I'm like, legitimately, I'm just going to dance until he runs out of gas. No, dude, you're going to fight him.
No, I'm going to beat the shit out of this. Why are you telling him you're playing right now? Well, first I got to get him tired.
Shut the fuck up, Billy. I'm going to get him tired.
Stop talking. Okay.
Stop talking. Billy called me on Saturday night at like 9 p.m.
and was like, dude, are you guys, like, are you and Dave, like, like negotiating with Jose's people right now? I'm like, no, dude. It's fucking Saturday night.
We're not doing anything. I would honestly like to see the end result of the negotiations if it was just Billy and Jose handling it entirely themselves.
We are in the DRU-B. I'd have to fucking fight.
He'd fucking get me back in the ring. They'd probably just end up becoming bros and not want to fight each other.
I was reading his Twitter like he wants to like go look for Bigfoot. Oh no, dude.
Listen. You and Jose Canseco, the only difference between you and Jose Canseco is you don't have a triple crown yet.
I actually think Jose Canseco for every, like there's a lot of bad stuff whatever, but I think he's legitimately a funny guy. I wanted to do a, like this is like seven years ago, we wanted to do a camp out in his backyard and hunt for bigfoot dude i actually would after we fight i i'd totally be down for that yeah you'd be good friends with him yeah you guys would be bro just make sure that it's him that shows up because he's he's substitute ozzy in in the past i've already analyzed the tattoo yeah you got that down Oh, nice.
All right. Let's send everyone on their way.

Numbers?

Happy Friday.

33.

No, Monday.

What?

18.

What's wrong with you?

33.

8.

I'll go 100.

I'm going to say happy holidays.

99.

Oh, you asshole.

1.

What'd you say?

8?

What'd you say?

33.

Cows can only walk 32

That's Jose Cansego's number

33 was

That would have been funny

Cows can only walk upstairs not down them

They're fucked

Love you guys guys. Alright Today's a night, the dates are fighting Shine it away, I'm coming for your lover's day

Shine it away, I'm coming for your lover's day

Take on me, take me on

I'll be gone, I'll be gone. Take me on, I'll be gone

In a dream Thank you. Take on me, take me home.
I'll be gone. It's deep.
Take on me, take me home. I'll be gone In a deep I'll be gone In a day Thank you.