NFL Week 14, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game And CFB Talk

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, week 14 of the NFL in the books, we recap every single game. Got a lot to talk about.
No bye weeks anymore, so we have a lot, a lot of games. We have a little college football talk.
We've got baby brawn of the week.

Fastest two minutes.

Who's back of the week embrace it we don't have many of these left these mondays pardon my takes my favorite ones in the world we do not have many of these left so embrace it embrace it embrace it huge pack show coming at you in a minute the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices. Stop searching all over Google for your next tee time.
Start searching multiple courses in your area from one app. It's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online.
Just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times. Plus, the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group.

Earn golf time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews.

And then you can redeem those rewards for free Barstool Golf Merch in our store.

Download the Barstool Golf Time app now.

Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times.

Barstool Golf Time app now.

Okay, let's go boy now in the street there is violence and then a lot of stuff work can be done no place to hang out in. And then I can't lay all on the sun.
Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.

Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash App.

Go download it right now.

Use code BARSTOOL.

You get $10 for free, $10 for ASPCA.

Today is Monday, December 14th, week 14.

What?

What? What? What? What? We start in Miami where Lincoln Park Bowden tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't really matter. As the Chiefs handled the Dolphins with the temp hotter than normal, Travis Kelsey Kapoor showed off with 136 yards and a touchdown.
Tyron Matthew was taking all necessary safety measures because he might get sicky, and we're in the midst of a global panty, folks. Chiefs 33, Dolphins 27.
In in carolina where drew lock brought his baking soda because he realized all he needed to throw tds was his arm and hamler this bronco season has stunk but days like today put a little troy perfuma galley on the product in denver pharaoh cooper birth wade aborted his routes as matt rule was given at the old college trimester. It might be time to cut the cord on the Panthers' season.
Whoa, boom, that's not an umbilical cord. That's Teddy's pee-pee.
Some hog. And the Broncos are back in the win column.
32-27. Down to Jacksonville where Tractor Cito, December is his favorito.
Exposed to D like they're wearing speedos. Tractor Cito had two scores in 200 plus yards.
And Ryan Black and Tannehill looked halfway stout against an ailing Jaguars defense. Doug Marone, Roan, row your boat.
Gambled like he was playing a crazy game of poker. But he's up the river without an oar.
OAR, that is. Your best ability is vrayability, and Mike has the Titans poised for another playoff run as they dominate the Jaguars.
31-10. What? What? Staying in Florida where Ronald Jones and me saw a lot of touches and Brady was counting throws as Adam Gerwitz-Thielen gave the Vikings another sha-la-la-la-la loss.
And it'll be another long December for Minnesota fans. Dave Matthews' Dan Bailey crashed and burned as he couldn't find the space between the uprights.
And punter Great Brenton Colquitt has the Vikings brexiting from the playoff race. Bucks 26, the Vikings 14.
In Cincinnati where where Bran the Broken, Allen, was unable to use his legs, and in a touching tribute to Cersei and Jamie Lannister, the Bengals have graduated from kissing their sisters in ties to losing outright. Alden Smith & Wesson dominated the Bengals' shotgun, returning a fumble for six, and Candy Dalton to Paul Lard ruined the Bengals' already fat chance of winning a game.
America's team 30, Bengals 7. To Las Vegas, where, in a touching tribute to my good friend Ted Kennedy, the Raiders started with a few negligent drives leading to a car getting sunk by the Rivers.
As the quarterbacks dueled in the desert, T.Y. Axis Hilton and Zach Pascaro's triangle were extremely coefficient, taking all the right angles, and that's a good sign for Frank Reich Angle's offense.
Talking math, boom. Jonathan O'S-Taylor snapped off 150 yards and two scores in a Colts route.
Colts 44. In New York, where Dan Connor, Tom Arnold rose and caught a touchdown resulting in the cancellation of the Giants season, taking one too many in Grambian.
Billy Dre, Cyrus Kirkpatrick gave Giants fans Kenyon Drakey Breaky Heart.

Wondering if Colt McCollum... season, taking one too many in Grambian.
Billy Dre, Cyrus Kirkpatrick gave Giants fans Kenyon Drakey

Breaky Heart, wondering if Colt McCoy

is a one-hit wonder, and it's

bad times for the G-Men

as they lose a must-win

to the Cardinals 26-7.

The G-Men.

In Arizona,

where the Washington football team

played the 49ers? Huh? Huh? Arizona? Huh? The desert? Huh? Martez Sweat, baby sweat, said you and JD. McKissick ain't nothing but mammals.
Let's bend the Niners over like it's the Discovery Channel. Chase Young Sheldon exploded into a big bang, making Nick Mullins look like a solar system QB.
Galaxy brain boom. The Washington football team takes a commanding lead in the NFC beast with a 23-15 win.
Up to the Windy City, where Deshaun William Scott Watson asked, Dude, where's your car? As Mitch Trubisky was finally playing like a guy who drove a 1997 Toyota Camry in his pre-draft interviews. Larry David Montgomery was pretty, pretty, pretty good running for an 80-yard touchdown, and Jimmy Hoffa Graham was a great teamster, burying the Texans with a second-half touchdown.
The Texans are finishing out the stretch, and unfortunately, Romeo must die as Billy Shakespeare O'Brien will take him out in a double-coach suicide. Bears 36, Texans 7.
Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola Such a fine sight to see

It's Jalen Hurts So Good And he Hurts So Good Candy Orleans, we need to score, please No, we didn't write the other part of Hurts So Good. Let's do that again.
Let's just say Hurts So Good a third time. Okay.
All right, ready? Here we go. Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola, such a fine sight to see.
It's Jalen Hurts So Good, and he hurts so good, and he hurts so good, he hurts so good. Come on, New Orleans, we need to score please put jameson we don't need to see more screens i forgot to write the rest of that teach it's a secret second verse eagles upset the saints all right week 14 uh in the books brought to you by our friends at Whoop.

Whoop, the fitness membership service that provides 24-7 personalized insights

that makes it the perfect tool to help you train for whatever you have going on in your life.

January 1st is coming up.

You're probably going to try to get in the gym.

You're probably going to try to start feeling better about yourself.

Well, Whoop has the best app app best strap for you out there we recorded this segment using the whoop live feature in the app so check out our instagram to see one of the many ways whoop gives members features uh to help them better understand their bodies right now whoop is offering their best deal of the year join whoop today for zero dollars when you sign up for their six-month membership go to whoop whoop.com to check it out sleep better recover faster train smarter this season and beyond with whoop whoop.com whoop do it do it do it whoop uh is a great app and a great strap so So go check it out. Okay, let's do it.
Week 14, and the Pittsburgh Steelers are... The worst 11-2 team of all time.
Frauds? Yeah. Frauds was the word I was going to use.
Well, either that. It's a combination.
They're fraudulent. It hurts me because I love...
Okay, they're not fraudulent because injuries have obviously had a big thing to do with their defense. But they can't run the football.
Well, if I'm going to be fair, because I've called the Ravens frauds, and I like the Steelers, I'm like, for some reason I always love the Steelers. I love the city of Pittsburgh.
But if we're being fair, that's a fraudulent 11-2. That is a team that you do not feel good about when it comes to December football going into January.
Let's just say they're not peaking at the right time because that first half was close. And I know no game comes down to one play, but it really did come down to that pick six.
because the Steelers' defense was kind of having their way with the Bills in the first half. Big Ben throws the pick six to end the first half.
The Bills go in with the lead, and then Josh Allen and the Bills' offense kind of take over and beat the Steelers pretty soundly in the second half. So I'm sitting here being like, what are the Steelers? We'll get to the Bills in a second.
So, yeah, the Steelers, they're kind of who we thought they were going to be. Because if you look at their start of the year schedule, you remember they played like nobody.
They beat the Ravens once and the Titans once. And that's about it.
But obviously injuries have had a lot to do with it. They're not great running the ball.
They stink running the ball, in fact. Very bad.
So I think that a lot of Pittsburgh would actually agree with us, saying that, yeah, they're not – this isn't a classic Pittsburgh Steelers team. Because they're fun on offense occasionally, but when it comes down to it – I'll put it this way.
If it's fourth and three, do you trust your football team to get three yards? Do you trust the Steelers to do it in a short yard? Because I don't think that they have a running game to speak of. Right.
It's just basically like we've got Mapletron, we've got Juju, and we can do some nice things in the passing game. Yeah.
But this isn't like classic Steelers football, you know? No, and Big Ben was not good. And you need Big Ben to be good because there have been times where he has not been good and the defense has kind of made him look okay with the end result.
But he wasn't good tonight. And I'm, I don't know.
This is, I hate to say this. I don't want to say it.
But are we getting to the end with Big Ben? That's my question His pump fakes were pretty hilarious tonight I love Ben's pump fakes Because people give him a lot of credit for him And say that he's one of the best at doing it I don't think Big Ben is actually pump faking I think he just changes his mind at the last second Correct So he's fooling him You're seeing Big Ben's brain Make a live reaction to what he's seeing through his eyes. He's not thinking like, I'm going to fake this pass and really get these guys to bite.
He's just like, oh shit, that guy might pick it off. I better not toss it.
And to maybe walk back that a little bit, it might not be as much that Big Ben is coming to the end, but without that running game, which they have none of. I mean, James Conner, they ran the ball 10 times.

He ran the ball 10 times for 18 yards tonight.

Like, the Buffalo Bills defense has turned a corner.

But if you can't run the ball at all, Big Ben is kind of exposed a little bit.

You can't expect.

Like, the Steelers have a formula.

They have a way to win football games.

They have an unbelievable defense.

And if they can figure out a way to get a little bit of a running game, Big Ben throwing the ball 30 times is right about what you need, not 40, not 50. So I don't know what to make of the Steelers other than they're just not good right now the last two games.
And on top of that, PFT, a little look ahead, a little look ahead for you. So they play the Bengals on Monday Night Football, which you'll hear a little time travel because we actually came to that revelation in a minute.
They play the Colts, which will be a tough game, especially a Colts team that is starting to play a little bit better right now. They handle the Raiders.
If the Browns can win a couple games here. Browns can win the division.
I was looking at that too. Week 17, the Browns and the Steelers could play for the division, which could you imagine how much fun that would be? If the Browns win tonight, Monday night, then yeah, they've got an easy schedule.
They're going to the Giants. It's not a gimme.
It's a tough game. And then after that, they're going at the Jets.
They're just basically living in New Jersey for the next couple weeks. And then, yeah, it would be against the Steelers at home in Cleveland for the AFC.
Could you imagine? That also would be a game, and I hate to say this for Browns fans, but if the Steelers and the Browns play for the division in Week 17. The Steelers are winning.
A hundred times out of a hundred times. The Steelers are going to win that game.
A hundred times out of a hundred times. So, yeah, I don't really know what to make of the Steelers.
I mean, listen, they're going to make the playoffs. They will, if they win the division, let's say they finish 13-3, they'll get the two seed.
They'll probably have a decent chance to win their first game. Who knows what happens after that.
But what we really need to talk about is the Bills being for real, for real, because they are the opposite of the Steelers in that they are peaking at the right time. They are starting to play their best football right now.
Their defense is starting to look very good, starting to come back together. Their offense has looked good all season, but it all is starting to come to fruition for Buffalo.
Since that two-game stretch where they played the weird Tuesday night game against the Titans and they got killed, and then they played the Chiefs on like a Monday afternoon and got beat pretty soundly. They have won every game except the Kyler Murray Hail Mary, and they've done it pretty convincingly, and they've beaten some good teams in there.
They've beaten the Patriots. They've beaten the Seahawks.
The 49ers, the Steelers tonight. The Bills are starting to put it all together.
And the Bills, I feel like, are the team that can beat the Chiefs. They're not going to, but I feel like they're the one team.
If everything goes right, they're the team that could be the team. They're the one team where you say to yourself,

okay, they got something here where.

They need Josh Allen to play his perfect game.

They need their defense to play their perfect game.

They need Tredavious White to intercept Patrick Mahomes twice.

By the way, Tredavious White, great suggestion,

saying that the Buffalo Bills should have a live Buffalo, that they grow themselves in the stadium. That's his words, not mine.
They grow their own Buffalo, and then it just roams the sidelines. Love it.
I cannot agree with that more vociferously. The Bills with a live mascot would be a great team.
So, yes, I agree. They could potentially beat the Chiefs.
Probably won't, but they could do it i i just love the man this is so sad that the bills don't have fans because this is such a fun bills team and they're starting to to to play well late down the stretch they're gonna win the uh afc east like this is fuck man yes buffalo way to go buffalo yeah way to go way to go josh allen way to go buffalo fucking love it you love to see it there was a little bit of snow tonight yep but you're right it's not the same without if if snow falls in orchard park and there's not bill's mafia there to piss their name into it did it really happen in a way no and i'm reading this right now. It's Buffalo Bills dominate Pittsburgh Steelers, join AFC's elite tier of teams.
Let's go. Let's go, Buffalo.
So who's in that elite tier? Let me click. It would be the Chiefs, probably the Steelers still, and then, yeah, that's about it.
Chiefs and the Bills. I don't know who else would be in that tier.
But, yeah, that was a statement win for the Bills, which I feel like the Bills get a lot of statement wins now because they had such a bad stretch so many years. Yeah, it's always kind of shocking to realize that the Bills are legit.
Yes, but they're legit. They're definitely.
They are legit, folks. What is this game? For real, for real.
They play on... Yeah, they play Saturday play on saturday so stupid at 4 30 in the afternoon the nfl is going up against conference championship saturday and i fucking hate it so they're playing in denver which josh allen might throw the ball out of the entire state of colorado correct so that'll be something fun to watch correct but yes it's saturday at 4 30 and then just a little reminder here there will be a game on christmas yeah on friday and three games friday saturday this is three games that saturday as well i feel like we're just getting bukkake with football yeah i don't know what's gonna happen from all angles i don't know what's gonna happen with the bowl schedule but at least we have these uh spread out games but uh yeah so that was sunday night football the bills dominate the steelers steelers question marks all around i don't know can they get healthy their defense is still good and it's just like you got to find a way to run the ball because big bang can't do it on on himself collinsworth was trending tonight and whenever you see the announcer trending you think oh my god this guy either really fucked something up or like made a minor error on whether or not a coach should go for it in fourth down.
And then Stats Twitter just made it the biggest deal in the world. But with Collinsworth, it was that he didn't realize that Buffalo was close to Canada.
Classic mistake. Marshawn Lynch.
Marshawn Lynch. He didn't know.
He thought it was New York City. Yep.
But Buffalo, I'll give this to him. Buffalo is not a very Canadian city.
No. Even though it's very close.
I would say like Denver, Seattle are the most Canadian American cities. Yes.
Yes. All right.
Let's get to the rest of the schedule. Let's get through.
We'll start in order. We'll start with the Chiefs and the Dolphins.
Chiefs 33, Dolphins 27. This is what you call a double win PFT.
Oh, why is that? A double win. Well, the Chiefs won, so that was a win.
That was a win. And the Dolphins fought really hard, and I was actually like, there was a moment there where the Chiefs ran away with it.
They were down. Dolphins up 10-0.
Chiefs come back with, I think, like 30 basically unanswered, or 21 unanswered. They're up 30-10.
and the Dolphins up 10-0. Chiefs come back with, I think, like 30 basically unanswered, or 21 unanswered.
They're up 30-10. And the Dolphins kept on fighting.
So it was 30 unanswered. The Dolphins kept on fighting.
Their defense can hang. Their defense turned Patrick Mahomes over a couple times, or three times, I want to say.
They have 19 straight games now with defensive turnovers. So the Dolphins, even in a loss for a building team trying to establish something, I'm counting it as a win.
Now, they need a win because they still got to try to make the playoffs. But my personal records, that's a win.
How about this? Mike Greenberg's dumb rule. If you pick off Patrick Mahomes three times, that should count.
That should be like the second tiebreaker.breaker so going into the playoffs if you're tied with somebody it should be like conference record and then how many times did you pick off Patrick Mahomes because three times that that seems like you know their defense is legit if they can do that but even though they picked him off three times it's like yeah well he's still going to get the ball he's still going to keep throwing with Mahomes it's like that's collateral damage right Right. If he's going to spray the ball all over the field, he might turn the ball over occasionally, but then he'll come back and throw for two touchdowns.
And he's got a very short-term memory when it comes to that. So if you're the Dolphins, it's like, yeah, you know what? We did lose to the Broncos, but we also intercepted Patrick Mahomes three times.
Yes. So that should actually take precedence.
I agree. It should be like when they had Rockin' Jock and Dan Cortez Rockin' Jock and you could hit, like, the 40-pointer.
If you intercept Patrick Mahomes three times in a single game, the game is over right then and there. That's it.
I'm okay with that. It's whoever wins after 60 minutes or gets three interceptions first of Patrick Mahomes.
So Mahomes, I mean, like, even in his bad games, which I wouldn't even classify this as a bad game, he just had a couple plays. He had the interceptions.
He also had a 30-yard sack, which now breaks the record for the longest sack without a fumble involved. Tannehill had a fumbled sack, 38 yards.
The previous longest sack for no fumbles was Matt McGloin, 29 yards. Patrick Mahomes now, hey, Jeff Schwartz has told us, drifting out of the pocket.
He drifted backwards. Drifting out of the pocket is a problem.
But with all that, the Chiefs still win in relative ease. Like the Dolphins came back at the end, but we never really thought that the Chiefs were in trouble.
And I just, the Chiefs man they're just so goddamn good and then Tyree Kill is I hate using this term because it's fucking lame as hell but he is a cheat code because it feels like anytime the Chiefs they're like oh maybe they're struggling down 10-0 all right well let's just have Tyreek Hill run past everyone, whether it be a pass play. I think he ran a touchdown as well.
Like, he'll just do that, and they know they have that in their back pocket at all times. Like, oh, let's let him get deep and pass the defense, and we'll throw a bomb to him.
Boom. If we need a quick seven.
It's almost like the Chiefs are always toying with teams because they have that where it's like, oh,'re down that's fine we'll just do a couple plays for Tyreek Hill and we'll be back and we'll be winning and then the game will be over. Well what the Chiefs do is kind of like it's the opposite of what Hugh Jackson was trying to do with Nick Chubb a couple years ago when he couldn't figure out a way to get the ball into Nick Chubb's hand on a handoff.
If Tyreek Hill, if you're not getting the ball to your playmakers with Andy Reid,

he's like, why don't we just hand him the ball?

Yeah.

And then he'll just – they did that with Odell Beckham on the Browns also this year.

It's like it's pretty easy if you have a guy that's better at running than everybody on the defense and you can't complete a pass to him,

just hand him the ball and then let him run.

Yes.

And sometimes that can work really well.

In space.

He also leads the league in runs that end up with him grabbing his hamstring

and you being like, oh, is he out for a while now?

Well, that's just because the human body isn't meant to do what he does. Right.
And his hamstring's like, I just need a five. Just need a five after this play, and I'll be fine.
Skip after these big plays. I'm like, oh, there goes Tyree Kill again.
He's out for a while. Nope, he's fine.
He leads the league in getting nicked. Yes.
You know what he does? He gets shaken up sometimes, and then he comes right back in. That might be my favorite euphemism for an injury.
Yeah. Sometimes when announcers use it when it's like an obvious concussion, they're like, oh, and he's shaken up a little bit out there.
He has a bell rung. His brain is no longer connected to the stim.
But, yeah, Tyreek Hill, awesome. Very fun to watch in open space.
Patrick Mahomes, on the sack, yes, 30 yards, bad sack, hilarious sack. I actually looked up specifically that dot system that they used to diagram the plays where it shows the dots just drifting down the field.
At some point, the nerds were like, we're going to take every human element out of football, and even the game film, we're going to replace it with computer software. And it showed them drifting back.
I confident with that with enough grit and determination derrick car can absolutely break that record yes absolutely absolutely break that without a doubt that's such good balance when you get a sack over 20 yards that's officially maction yeah that's that's a play that should be on a tuesday night ball state versus like bowling green uh we do need to talk also about Andy Reid's face mask,

the COVID mask that he's wearing.

It keeps getting puffier.

I don't know if that's his breath that's extending it out.

It's like a balloon, a poorly inflated balloon. A balloon or some sort of alien that uses an oxygen bag

that just gradually inflates.

It looks like it's got Taco Bell in it, which is fine.

He's definitely hiding something under there.

He's got something in there.

I would like to see Andy Reid wear a face mask that has a print of his mouth and mustache on it. So it just looks like Andy Reid's face.
Ooh, someone should make the meme where, Billy, you should make this. It's Andy Reid's face, and then it shows the inside of the mask, and it's just a rib that's just sitting there that he's just gnawing on all game long.
I like to think that it's either got a rib or it's corn on the cob on a rotating rotisserie-type spit. Yes.
And that he's just gnawing on all game long. I like to think that it's either got a rib or it's corn on the cob on a rotating rotisserie type spit.
Yes. And then he's just munching on it and he goes back and forth like a typewriter so he can clean that cob off.
I like that. So the Chiefs now have, well, we're still watching the Steelers-Bills game, which will be confusing because we started the show talking about the ending.
Time traveling, baby. Time traveling.
But the Chiefs look like they're going to possibly have the No. 1 seed, which makes a team that can't really be beat even more unbeatable with the No.
1 seed this year being that much more important. And they've got a packed house at Arrowhead, right? They have, what, 17,000 people in the series? Yeah.
So they do have the biggest home field advantage. Home field advantage.
Also, shout out to Tua because he did play a lot better in this game. He had a little bit of a weird start, but he started to throw the ball down the field more, make some big plays.
That's, again, there are no wins when you lose, but if you could have as close to a win in a loss, it would be this for the Dolphins where they competed with the Chiefs, they had a chance at the end, even though it wasn't really a chance, and Tua played well, what more can you ask for? And the defense turned over Patrick Mahomes, what more can you ask for? That's a game where if they meet again in the playoffs, the Dolphins aren't going to walk into it being like, well, we're going to get our asses kicked. They're like, hey, we can hang with these guys.
It was a statement loss. It directly contradicts the age-old wisdom from Trent Dilfer when he said, I'd like a private jet.
And then he followed it up by saying, you cannot lose and win in the NFL at the same time. Not true.
I think this counts as a win for the Dolphins. Congrats to the Dolphins for beating the Chiefs.
Great job. I think it's fair to say, I think we had this take back when the Raiders beat the Chiefs earlier this year.
It's good that the Chiefs lost early. Yeah.
Yes. There's absolutely no pressure on them to go undefeated this year.
Yeah, and they avenged their loss. Yeah.
So it's even better. And then last thing I wrote down was, so we had this discussion earlier in the week, Travis Kelsey versus Gronk.
Now, for my money, I still think Gronk is the greatest tight end of all time. But the fact that that's even starting to become a conversation is a testament to how goddamn good Travis Kelsey is.
Yeah, and he's cleaned up the little unsportsmanlike conducts that he used to get like three times a game. He's not fully extending his arm into the defender's face when he makes a first down motion after a catch.
I don't know. I kind of missed that Travis Kelsey, though.
He was a wild card. Yeah.
This Travis Kelsey is, like, too buttoned up. He will get the benefit of, like, Gronk aging while he's still in his prime.
But, again, if you remember Gronk in his prime, you're like, that was a different beast altogether. Right.
But he's still unbelievable. Billy's got a take about baby Gronk.
The difference between Kelsey and Gronk is that you've never seen Kelsey give a hit when he's running the ball. Kelsey takes hits and absorbs them.
Gronk runs through people. He tries to avoid contact if possible.
Sometimes Gronk would unnecessarily initiate contact. I feel like Kelsey also is exceptional at getting open for Mahomes, like sitting down and finding those spots.
If Mahomes has more than three seconds travis kelsey will be open yeah he's a he's a focused gronk when it comes to running routes he's like if you gave gronk ritalin yeah if but i'm not saying like to hype him up i'm saying if he had add and he gave it to him to calm him down and focus in that's kind of what kelsey is but you give and you take with that because then you don't get the crazy grokness right right um all right next up Bucks Vikings uh talking about losing and winning a game so the the Vikings kind of dominated this game they uh had the they had the ball for 20 minutes more than the Bucks they had like 10 more first downs they also had Dan Bailey on their team dan bailey is the first kicker to miss more than six kicks in two games since the nfl afl merger and dan bailey last week this is never good for a kicker but last week he needed mike tom or sorry mike zimmer to give him a vote of confidence. Mike Zimmer last week said, Dan's had a great year,

been good in practice this week, talked to him the other day.

He is confident, and he'll be fine.

After this game, he misses four kicks, three field goals,

one extra point, ten points off the board.

Mike Zimmer's quote was, at this point,

we're not really worried about feelings anymore.

So I'd say, Dan Bailey, you probably don't have a job.'s worse at his job than anyone else in the nfl at this current moment any starter in the nfl it's tough for him because he's also a product of just being a minnesota vikings kicker right that that position will never be good it's like the bears quarterback it's like the drummer for uh spinal tap yes you're gonna keep you're gonna keep dying it's a curse it's the it's It's the Pianist for the Grateful Dead. There are cursed positions in the world.
Yeah. They're living in the kicking version of...
What's the movie where everybody dies all the time? Final Destination. Sixth Sense.
No, he was dead the whole movie. The entire movie.
Spoiler alert. He was constantly dead.
But yeah, they keep... And Mike Zimmer's not doing him any favors either because i think mike zimmer hates him so he's like yeah keep going out i'm gonna keep sending you out to try progressively more difficult field goals throughout this game but they weren't even that bad like a dad making his son smoke cigarettes until they puke yeah it's like okay keep missing keep missing it was like a a 36 yard or 54 yard or 54-yarder, a 46-yarder.
Now, 54, that's fine. Guys miss that.
But 36 and 46 are easy in the NFL. For NFL kickers, you should make that.
You should make both. Mike Flory was like, how are you going to send him out there to attempt a 46-yarder on grass? He's like, well, Mike, a lot of field goals are attempted.
They do a pretty good job cutting it in the NFL. It's pretty short.
So you're not playing at Notre Dame against USC when they go up to your knees. So this game was weird to me because I was expecting the Bucs to win easily and kind of handle the Vikings because we talked about Tom Brady off a bye.
If the Bucs are going to put it all together, this is right when they'll start doing it. I wasn't overly impressed i mean they they won the game they covered the spread but the vikings almost like they kind of got in their own way i feel like the vikings had chances to win this game and i expected the bucks to dominate a little bit more than they did so now i'm sitting here being like i don't know maybe the maybe the bucks will never figure it out this year this was was a big-time took-care-of-business game for the Bucs.
They handled their business at home against an inferior opponent, and their defensive line is really good. I feel like we should take a second, though, to appreciate Ndomny Dinsu, who is playing really well and somehow his arms are bigger than they've ever been before.
They're like the size of my waist. And then his head, I don't know how this works, but his head is bigger than his helmet.
He just looks terrifying out there. And then JPP with another strip sack.
And the announcers wanted to be like, he took a handoff from Kirk Cousins. But you can't say that.
Can't do that. No, so the Bucs defense is very good.
I actually was a little surprised though. Dalvin Cook had 100 yards.
The Bucs rush defense is a very good rush defense. I think that's the first time a team has run for 100 in a year on them.
But to be fair with Dalvin Cook, that's not that bad to give up 100 yards. No, no.
How many yards was it? But they are 102. But they are a very, very good run defense.
So that's another one where I just don't trust the Bucs. I don't know what to make of the Bucs.
I feel like they're going to flame out in hilarious fashion in the playoffs. The good news for the Bucs is they play the Falcons two times in the last three games, and the Lions are in that sandwich.
That's so funny that they left the Falcons to them twice at the very end. Right.
In the NFL's brain, they were like, this is going to be great. Two division rivals that will be competing for the wild card or the top of the division get to play each other twice.
It didn't quite shake out that way. Nope.
But it is good for the Bucs. They are going to – I think you're right.
11-5. Right.
They should go 11-5. They're going to be a fraudulent 11-5.
Yeah, people will be like, ooh, watch out for the Bucs. They won their last four games.
I just don't – something about them. And here's the hot take take is you got to get uh what's his name Scotty Miller involved more is Scotty Miller the most important player on that I don't know man every time he's there he's open and it's like maybe you have you can't have three number one receivers yeah you know what I mean like maybe it's and Gronk maybe it's good to have one guy who just can wiggle around and get open all the time.
Who's the man? Yeah. The end of the first half was funny, too, on that Hail Mary that they threw where they interfered with Gronk.
Yes. Then they got one untimed down, which I just – I love the concept of a down that doesn't have time.
It doesn't exist. It's amazing.
But then they kicked the field goal from the one, which I guess is probably – Coward. You get free points.
But Bruce Ari but Bruce Arians, I expected more from you at that point.

And I had a dumb idea when I was watching this game too, when Dan Bailey kept missing.

I thought one of them was tipped.

And I thought, why don't NFL teams just sign the fastest people on earth to rush on a field

goal from the edge?

The guys that are unblocked all the time.

That's what Beamer used to do.

He used to recruit, or he used to just swing by track and field practice occasionally at Virginia Tech

and be like, hey, have you ever worn a football helmet?

Right.

Good, well, you're going to be on my special teams.

You're going to play some Beamer ball.

There was a year when Madden had a cheat code where you could basically get,

remember you could get up against the line, but you couldn't cross it?

On the edge, yeah.

Yeah, so you could basically push up, and then as soon as they snapped it, you'd be able to block the kick. Yeah.
I can't remember what year it was, but you couldn't cross it. On the edge, yeah.
Yeah, so you could basically push up,

and then as soon as they snapped it, you'd be able to block the kick.

Yeah.

I can't remember what year it was, but it was awesome.

Why did they make it? It made it impossible to block field goals.

Like, no one has ever blocked a kick in a normal video game

in the last 20 years.

I know.

What were you going to say, Billy?

It's when you turn penalties off.

Oh, there it is.

Okay.

Yeah, that's a good cheat code.

All right, next up, Bears-Texans.

Congratulations. Well, here.
Okay, allow me to dream for a second. I crunched some numbers.
The Bears, if they win out, they could actually get back into this thing. It's crazy.
It's stupid. They're going to probably lose to the Vikings next week and break my heart one last time.
But this win, technically, if they win out and the cardinals lose one of their last three they would be in over the cardinals they still have to play the vikings jaguars and packers packers might have everything cinched up so who knows whatever i'm gonna allow myself to dream for a second it's being like wow next sunday is a huge game against the vikings real talk though i'm happy for mitch i I'm happy for Mitch because it can't be easy having to live in the shadow of Deshaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes.

You don't get to decide where you're picked.

That's Ryan Pace's fault.

Mitch is a good guy.

He's a good teammate by all accounts, all these things.

So for him to come out and play better than Deshaun Watson was nice for him.

He was awesome in the first half. I don't know where, like, the Texans defense is terrible, but I don't also know where this play calling, like, why hasn't this been here more often where he gets a lot of short passes to get rhythm, moves around in the pocket.
The run game obviously worked because the Texans D-line is bad. But today,itch was qb ratings 126.7 deshaun was 101.9 mahomes was 91.9 i'm just gonna say it today mitch was king well here's a fun step okay i know you saw this earlier because they put it up on the screen but mitch is only one game behind deshaun watson in terms of career victories and he has pretty impressive.
What about head? Oh, so his win percentage is better. Correct.
Okay, so I think the numbers bear it out that that was the correct pick for Mitchell. He had three touchdowns today.
Deshaun Watson had one. I'm just saying.
I'm just saying. He did.
He played well. And I think it's okay to be like, hey, it's good for Mitch, happy for Mitch.
The Bears are still on the outside looking in. They're still a bad bad team, they're a bad coach team the cynic in me is like oh this is the perfect example of the Bears winning late in the season in a somewhat meaningless game so that everyone can keep their job they'll finish 8-8 and be like well we were close we were right there no you weren't right there so part of dream scenario, and this is the nightmare dream scenario, I think the Packers will probably get the first seed.
We'll get to it later. But say the Packers have the second seed and they can't get the first seed for some reason.
Week 17, Packers come to Chicago. Packers let the Bears win just so they can kick the shit out of them in the first round of the playoffs up in Lambeau.
That would be something. That would be my nightmare.
Because I would totally buy myself in. Yeah, you would get amped up for that game.
I think it's impossible for the football team to play against the Bears in the playoffs, right? It is. It is.
Unless, probably, like if the Buccaneers just get it. No, it's impossible.
If they all die. The Bears can only get the seventh seed.
If the team disowns the NFL and goes and starts their own football league then it's possible but besides that um that would that would be a nightmare scenario but at least you'd make the playoffs uh the Texas defense sucks they just suck JJ Watt I guess it's still good I think maybe they just stopped taking the steroids since they got caught for him no they're right pushing was like yeah I my hands that's all that I know how to do I can't I can anything else. So you guys are fucked from now on.
Their defensive line is very, very bad. The run 2.0, David Montgomery with an 80-yard run, no big deal.
I want to say shades of the run. The run, yeah.
Because to properly establish the run as being this mythical play, you can't ever say that it has been surpassed or there's a sequel. No, it wasn't.
Shades of the initial run. Shades, shades.
It made us think of that. The first one, I'd say, was much better.
Oh, absolutely. Because it was against the Packers.
Right. A better team.
Right. And also, he got tackled, so he got to stay on offense.
Right. He didn't turn the ball over.
Got a field goal out of it. And then shout out Khalil Mack because, you know, last week the defense definitely kind of quit.
This week the defense did notil Mack was a fucking beast it's nice that he's got the there's the pride aspect that's involved with the defense and running out the string of this season so next week who knows if they beat the Vikings I will be telling myself because then it's Jaguars and then who knows so I will be telling myself all kinds of fucking ridiculous shit if they can beat the Vikings, I will be telling myself, because then it's Jaguars, then who knows? So I will be telling myself all kinds of fucking ridiculous shit

if they can beat the Vikings next week.

Then you got Pedro, then you got Curt, and then game seven,

anything can happen.

This is what everyone wants.

I will be very, very upset if they lose the Vikings next week.

They've drawn me back in.

Just when I thought I was out, they bring me back in.

God damn it, how did they lose the line?

So I think the issue is that Mitch, he's way more confident when he has a lead to begin with. Like when he has a lead.
Like a 30-point lead. Yeah, a 30-point lead.
Or just when they're winning. Because when he's behind, he's like, oh, shit.
He gets into, oh, shit mode. I got to do something.
There's expectation on me again. Mitch, you know you don't do well when people believe in you.
No, you don't want this. When people are putting their hopes and dreams into you.
So if they can get out to an early – if David Montgomery can score on the first offensive play from scrimmage – Every time. Every time.
Yep. I feel like they might have a shot to hang in there with most teams.
I agree. All right.
Next up, Cowboys-Bengals. Andy Dalton revenge game.
And when I say that, it was really just the Cowboys defense was really good this was a game that red zone forgot uh we did have though here's a spin zone for Bengals fans you had a butt fumble you had a legit butt fumble Travion Williams butt fumbled Aldon Smith scored a touchdown off of it it was pretty much an identical play to the mark sanchez it just didn't

happen in prime prime time and you're not the jets so uh you you avoided that it kind of went under

slept under the rug and then yeah the cowboys i don't know like the cowboys basically established

themselves as not one of the worst three teams in the nfl good job that was basically what they

were playing for like hey you are 27 and they're not mathematically eliminated yet which is nice

Thank you. one of the worst three teams in the NFL.
Good job. That was basically what they were playing for.
Like, hey, you are 27th. And they're not mathematically eliminated yet.
No. Which is nice.
Of course not. Somehow they're not in the FC beast.
And, yeah, Andy Dalton, it was nice to see him go back because you know that he wanted to win this game. This was one that probably meant a lot to him.
Yes. He ran him out of town, even though he had only been there for infinity years and never won a playoff game.
Yep. It's insane treated Andy Dalton it's very unfair very unfair very unfair uh Brandon Allen Brandon Allen is so much better than Ryan Finley yes it's crazy because these are two quarterbacks I don't think anyone really has a beat on there's no reason why you should fill your brain with any information about Brandon Allen and Ryan Finley but when you watch him play Like I've watched them play off and on for the last, what, four weeks? Brandon Allen is like 20 times better than Ryan Finley is, and Ryan Finley sucks.
Yes. Like really, really bad.
Ryan Finley's very bad. So I hope Brandon Allen's not hurt because I can't bear to watch three more weeks of Ryan Finley.
I forgot about this game too. The Bengals should be allowed to opt out, by the way, for the rest of the season.
Do you know that we actually have a Bengals Monday night football game coming up? Are you serious? Yes. Are you serious? I'm pretty sure they play the Steelers.
Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure they play the Steelers maybe week 16 on Monday night football.
This is when the no flex. I think it's next week.
Oh, it's next week. Okay.
It'll be good to take a Monday night off. Yeah, the no flex of Monday night is a killer at this time of the year when we get Bengals on Monday.
Although, those two teams, they don't like each other. People forget that back in like 2015, was it? I think it was 2015.
There was like a six-month conversation where it was like the Bengals have taken over the place of the Ravens for the Steelers' big rivals. Like, these teams, this is AFC North football.
You know what? How's the Antonio Brown, Vontaze Perfect? That's what they need to do. They need to be like, all right, we know Monday Night Football is going to suck, so let's get Joey Porter.
Let's get Vontaze Perfect. Let's get, I don't know, maybe TJ Houshmanzada.
Pac-Man Jones. Pac-Man Jones.
let's get a couple of the old guys out there let's let them play like old timers day yeah and we'll call it a stealer's win so it won't even like just but how much fun would it be to watch old type troy palomalu running around dude get marvin marvin lewis out there yes that would prevent him the chin. Get Bill Cowher out there.
Yeah. I mean, that was a very entertaining rivalry for the six months that it existed.
Yes. But in my head, I was like, this is going to take over the Ravens.
This is what I need to keep my finger on the pulse of. Was not the case.
No. Although, for the record, the Bengals should have won that playoff game.
Yeah. They should have won that playoff game.
That one was a disaster. It was a nightmare.
That was a disaster. All right.
Next up, we have Cardinals Giants. The Giants, not so good.
So Joe Judge makes his first very big, very huge mistake of the season. He's been doing a great job.
But how do you let – we even said this. Daniel Jones should not be able to decide whether he's injured or not.
Guess what? Daniel Jones is very injured. Daniel Jones got sacked eight times.
Daniel Jones couldn't move. I think the Giants have a way better chance with Colt McCoy in this game than they do Daniel Jones.
And the Cardinals' defense, like, the Giants' defense did an okay job. Kyler Murray got a little bit of his swag back running the ball.
But you can't put a guy out there with one leg when half of his game is being a mobile quarterback. Daniel Jones, he was very turnover prone again today.
Had three fumbles against the same person. And he was seven times.
One guy. Yeah.
One person, Hassan Redick, who, by the way, Baldy is busting a grape over the game film from Hassan Redick right now. Hassan Redick made him fumble three times.
That's almost impossible to do to one quarterback. And then you have Colt McCoy on the sidelines.
Colt McCoy's middle name is two wins. He will get you two wins in a season.
Definitely. If he's your 16-game starter, he'll get you two wins.
Ride the hot hand. If he fills in in the second half of one game and then has to start another one, he'll get you two wins.
Don't ask him to get three.

Don't ask him to get – dear Lord, don't ask him to get you four wins.

Two.

He will get you two wins.

And, yeah, it was a travesty that they didn't start. As a fan of the division, I was pulling for the Giants.

Now, I will say I'm not apoplectic about the fact that the Giants lost.

But I was – you saw – I was rooting for the Giants during that game.

But yeah, Kyler Murray's back.

I think he's just tired.

I think the first half of the season, he's like,

man, they're really asking me to do a lot out here,

running and passing.

Well, so I was looking at it.

In the three losses they had leading up to this game,

he averaged 20 yards a game running.

This game he had, I think, like 47 or 50.

But that makes a big difference.

He was doing a good job with his feet.

That's what of their offense that they need, and they just didn't have it the last three weeks. So it was a good win for the Cardinals.
They stay alive. We do have a little bit of a mecca watch for DeAndre Hopkins.
So DeAndre Hopkins has played in MetLife four times over 100 yards each time averaging 138 yards per game is he he just steps it up in the Mecca that's like Chipper Jones and Shea Stadium yeah he's just ready to go in the Mecca he's he just kills the Jets and the Giants we should name his his daughter MetLife or Meadowlands Meadowlands is actually a very pretty name Meadowlands is a beautiful Meadowlands Hopkinsadowlands Hopkins. That's great.
Done. Do it.
Yeah, the Giants, though, their offense was so, so bad. 58 yards in the first half, 159 total.
I just don't understand how you let Daniel Jones play in that game because you just watch it and he can't move. Joe Judge should have been able to sniff that out.
He should have right away because you just can't. Like, the Giants' defense a they have a recipe and it's you know controlling the clock running the ball not making mistakes and playing good defense and then you just have Daniel Jones out there who can't do anything and they were I felt like the Giants every time we had the game on but it felt like the Giants were in third and nine from their own 10-yard line the entire game.

The entire game.

The entire game they were in that exact situation

with a quarterback who was on one leg.

And, I mean, to be honest, the Cardinals,

they didn't really impress me that much in this win.

They don't impress me much.

Defensively, they were okay.

Yeah.

But, yeah, Faith Hill, you said it.

I don't think that this – I think that the Cardinals are going to lose their first game of the playoffs if they make it. Yeah.
Oh, definitely. And I hope they don't make it.
All right. Next up, Broncos-Panthers.
Moxie. Drew Locks.
Moxie is back. Yeah.
Or did he play the Panthers? He played the Panthers, and I've opted out of backing Drew Lock this this year. So that means I can choose to opt back in, and that's the way I'm going to dismount that take.
Because if you think that Drew Locke becomes a pro bowler next year, and I'm not going to claim that I was all over Drew Locke from the very start, my friend, you are fucked in the head. Because I will hop back on that take so fast it'll make your head spin.
But I've opted out this year at the very minimum. But yeah,ke had four touchdowns today Panthers defense sucks not good not good this was a weird game that had high scoring but I feel like another game that red zone kind of forgot like yeah we didn't really see a lot of this was the one game that we decided not to have on the TVs because both teams are out of it and not really playing for anything but it felt like we just didn't see a lot of updates from it.
Yeah. Well, we saw Jeremy Chin.
He had another forced bubble. Yeah, that's all he does.
He's entering nose for the football territory. Yep.
Big time. Big time.
Christian McCaffrey, do we know what's actually wrong with him at this point? Everything. Everything's wrong? Yeah.
Having to run the ball a billion times a game. Yeah.
Fucking Olivia Culpo. Oh, no, no, they're virgins.
She told Mrs. McCaffrey they were virgins and not fucking when she posted all these bikini pictures.
Yeah. Oh, Big Ben just threw a pick to end that game, and, oh, they're going to return it.
Wait, what's 41 points? I need one score here, and the over's going to hit. You have 48 and a half? Yeah.
So a touchdown wouldn't get it. Shit.
I'm bad at math. A touchdown and a two-point conversion would.
Touchdown and two-point conversion. Go for two.
Book says go for two. You're up 11.
There's a lot of time. All right.
So, yeah, this game, I don't really have much else for this game. It was one of those games that good for the Broncos.
I still believe the Broncos have, like, a great roster going forward that they just need a quarterback. And don't know where to come back.
The Broncos, I'll call it right now, are going to be my team to make the playoffs next year after missing it this year. What about Drew Locke? If Drew Locke comes back as their starter? No, then I disavow.
You're opting out next year? I disavow. But if they can find a quarterback, I will be in on the Broncos next year big time.
You know John Elway right now, he's very excited for this offseason. Yes.
Because there's nothing that John Elway likes more than selecting a quarterback who sucks. The only thing he likes more is going on a hunt for a quarterback.
So he's already assembling binders filled with all the quarterbacks. He's going to find his guy.
He's got, yeah, his office right now looks like Kerry Matheson homeland like he's got trey lance circled with five sharpies i love it i love it um all right next up tractor cedo titans jaguars tractor cedo uh derrick henry 215 yards two touchdowns since 2018 he has four 200 yard games no other running back has more than one. And the Titans, I'm going to give the Titans some credit here because they got punked by the Browns last week.
Yes, the Jaguars suck, but the Jaguars have been a little bit of gamey. You know what I mean? Like, they've been in some games.
So they actually were in the game against the Browns. They were in the game against the Vikings.
So for the Titans kind of put it on the Jaguars, like that's what a good team does, they bounce back they kick the shit out of an inferior opponent, they deserve credit for that, that's more than just oh they beat the Jaguars, no they killed the Jaguars and they kind of needed that type of win for me to get back into like ooh ooh, the Titans could be a good playoff team here.

You know what, Big Cat?

It's track recito season, and I'm looking at the stats right now.

I'm officially putting a 2K watch on Derrick Henry right now.

He's got 1,532 rushing yards.

He's got three games left.

He plays the Lions, the Packers.

We know that run defense is soft.

They gave up the run. Then the Texans who gave up shades of the run.
Yep. So three games.
He could get to 2,000. And it would be, I mean, I'm going to call the hashtag right now.
It's going to be hashtag D-E-R-R-I-2-K, Henry. He should be in the MVP race.
I think he is. Yeah, but like more

so than people will say right now,

because you know the conversation is Mahomes vs. Rogers.

He should absolutely be in the MVP race.

He's going to be the third, and then people

will say, the NFL is a

quarterback-driven league, so we've got to give

to one of these guys. Yeah, or

why don't we have an MVP, and then why don't we

have a quarterback of the year? Because the quarterbacks always

win. The last time a running back won the MVP is what, LT? You know what happened then, Big Cat? Was that right, Jake? I'm pretty sure.
2006? What would happen would be they'd still give the MVP to a quarterback. Then the second best quarterback would get the quarterback of the year.
Quarterback of the year. AP in 2012.
Oh, that's right. And then LT.
Yes. Yes.
AP had 2005. But I feel like Derrick Henry's got to be up there for guys that if they were not on their team, their team would absolutely suck.
Yes. Offensively.
Absolutely. And he's just a scary dude when he's coming around the corner with that with just full speed.
And it felt like he was doing that all day. have a take i have a oh by the way aj brown's

catch was awesome yeah awesome he's got i mean when he reaches arm out there like sticky fingers yeah like an eagle yeah i have a take are you ready for this take yep and now wait before yep before i say this take i will admit there is a little bit of bias in this take there's a tiny itsy bitsy little bit of bias okay i think leonard fournette being drafted fourth in 2017 was a worse pick than mitch trubisky i actually agree with you hank just laughed at my no no that that is a hundred percent did you just laugh at my face do you know who was still available at that point with the fourth overall pick i'm sure big cat will tell you patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson, you know who else was available if you wanted to go running back? Christian McCaffrey at eight. Yeah, but who was the Jaguars quarterback? They didn't need a quarterback, but no, but Christian McCaffrey at eight.
And taking a running back with the fourth overall pick is crazy. And on top of all that, James Robinson, shout out, Roll Birds, reached 1,000 yards today.
He is only one of three running backs to have 1,000 yards this season. Dalvin Cook, Derrick Henry, James Robinson.
They cut Leonard Fournette this year, and James Robinson got 1,000 yards on a very bad Jaguars team. They also could have had Alvin Kamara.
Yeah, I think that Leonard Fournette, it's never going to get talked about because obviously it's a quarterback driven league like we just said. The Mitch Trubisky pick will always go down because of who came after him.
But in terms of just like if you go back to it and just the decision making in the moment, like... It didn't make sense at the time.
Things get written. People still had Mitch ranked very high then.
Like they did. You can pretend they didn't, but they did.
You want to say Ryan Pace made a mistake, not talking to Patrick Mahomes and Sean Watson, you will not hear any, you know, any, what's the word? Complaint? Complaint. You're not going to put up a fight.
I'm not going to put up a fight on that. But I think Leonard Fournette was the worst pick that doesn't get talked about because Christian McCaffrey, Alvin Kamara, and it's the fourth pick with a running back.
And you cut him, and then the guy who comes in, who's like a no-name, does really well on a bad Jaguar team. And guess what happened with Leonard Fournette today? Healthy scratch with the Bucs.
They literally were like, no, we don't want this guy anymore. You don't hear it that much because you're a Bears fan, and it's so much fun to tell you and remind you about Deshaun Watson.
Let's change the narrative, folks. I think for most Jaguars fans and people down Jacksonville, they hate it at the time.
They hate it now. It gets brought up to them all the time.
That can be put on. Was that Tom Coughlin? He must have been, yeah.
I think it was Coughlin being like, we want an old-school hard-nosed running back. I'm just saying.
He probably saw that run against Auburn where he threw the guy off his shoulders and was like, that's my guy. Let's start talking about 2017.
The biggest mistake in the draft was Leonard Fournette drafted fourth to the Jaguars. Here's a take, and you're probably also going to say for me that this is a little bit of a homer take.
It might be a little biased. I don'tuars should fire doug marone no i don't think so either i think they should keep him around because he's a great guy great dude he's just a great he's an awesome guy and big cat they're getting a new general manager in right he's going to want to get the lay of the land for a while and if you really believe that doug marone is that bad of a head coach then keep him around for another year am amass more picks, excuse me, assets, get more assets, more draft capital.
And then if the GM decides, like, I can't get along with this person, then you're welcome to kick him out. Right.
And his sunglasses make him always look cool. Yes.
I love his sunglasses. Also, Doug Marone feeds off the fans.
Yes. You need to have him in a packed house with people swimming in the pool in their blue jeans to properly evaluate the job that Doug Marone's doing.
I agree. I'm just saying 2017, that's a bad pick by the Jaguars.
Let's start talking about it more. Also, John Ross going nine is really, really bad for the Bengals, who definitely needed a quarterback.
John Ross is fast. They picked him before.
Let's just, you know, let's talk about it, folks. Let's just open up the books and let's talk about it.
When was Al Davis's Ouija board going to be picking? Because they needed to get John Ross off the board before they got up. Yes, they did.
By the way, speaking of sunglasses, I think Doug Marone actually wears them, but PFT, I know the best sunglass company. Do you know it? Yeah.
Off the top of your head? It's on the front of my head. It's Shady Race.
Fuck yeah, it is. I'm literally wearing them.
You always wear them. Do we have an ad? Yeah, we do.
Oh, I thought you were just asking me. No, I was asking and telling.
Well, yeah, it's Shady Race. It's bottom line.
Shady Race is the best. They make the part of my take grit sunglasses.
Fuck yeah, we do. Our own model.
And you can get those. I don't know if actually they might be sold out.
They might have a different version of the grit sunglasses. But I know for a fact they have the grit goggles.
We've got snow goggles. I saw you wearing those.
Those looked awesome. They look sweet.
You feel like a moon man when you're rocking them. They're actually pretty cool because you can take out the glasses part, the reflective shield part of the goggles, and change them in and out with different colors if you want to.
We've taken on the sun on this podcast. Now it's time to take on the snow.
The newest exclusive collaboration with our friends at Shady Rays, the part of my take snow goggle bundle is created by me and Big Cat. It's packed with grit to take on the slopes.
They've got this durable magnetic mask system. So it's strong grip.
It's easily swappable for all lenses and straps. We worked hand in hand with the Shady Ray's team to make a badass combination of three different lenses for a variety of conditions, and you get four straps in there.
You get the standard black one. You get one that's got the Part of My Take logo on it.
You've got another one that's like a tie-dye Part of My Take logo, and then you've got a barstool strap. They're sweet.
They're awesome. And plus, you get a premium hard case to it, all featuring Struel and Stripes logo.
So Humans vs. Sun inspired them to team up with us to take on the Sun hand-in-hand together.
Plus, if you missed out on the launch this past summer, Shady Rays. Oh, they are releasing the remaining pairs of the part of my take limited edition Ventura Royals.
They're dropping them. It's like a stock X.
The drop happens now. Don't be the only person to not have them.
They've got those custom accents on there. They've got grit etched right onto the lens.
They've got our icons on the side. It's Stella, big cat's mustache, Hank's hat, and my shades on the side.
They're sweet. Check them out.
They are very sweet. You're going to enjoy them.
Christmas delivery might not be guaranteed. Check up on that.
I don't think that it is, but order now for your best shot to receive before Christmas. If they have any opportunity to get them to you, they will.
Check them out. ShadyRays.com slash Barstool.
That's ShadyRays.com slash Barstool. Alright, next up.
Colts Raiders. I actually wrote down in my notes before we started Paul Gunther's never going to get fired, the defensive coordinator of the Oakland or Las Vegas Raiders, because he and John Gruden are best friends.
Paul Gunther is such good friends with the Grudens that when he was moving on from the Bengals, so he was the defensive coordinator for the Bengals 2018, it was literally like a bidding war between Jay and John Gruden who would hire Paul Gunther that's how much they love him I think their wives are best friends John Gruden was never going to fire him turns out he just fired him I can't imagine a worse city to be fired in than Las Vegas he just fired him Paul Gunther what do you do this is why tonight this you sit at the at the roulette wheel just just like crying? Yeah. Yeah.
There's no somber place that you can go in that city. There's no park you can go sit on a bench and feed the ducks and cry.
You have to go somewhere with blasting lights and sounds where everyone's happy, having a great time. Well, I think he actually is going to be okay because Jay Gruden probably texted him and was like, hey, as soon as I get another head coaching job, you'll be on my staff.
Because Paul Gunther is a perfect example of why anyone in the NFL, if you have a job, you have a job for life. So in the last six out of the last seven years, he's been a defensive coordinator.
His team has finished in the back half of yards. The last three years, the Raiders have been the worst team in defensive efficiency.
The last three years, his team's finished 32nd, 24th, 28th in giving up points. And he kept his job for this long because he's best friends with John Gruden.
So I'm shocked that John Gruden has actually fired him. But it happened because it needed to happen because the Raiders were so bad on defense today.

They got, like, manhandled.

If you get gashed by Phillip Rivers at this point, that's a big, that's a red flag.

That's a little post-it note on your resume right there.

Credit to the Colts offensive line because they gave up no sacks and they averaged 6.8 yards per carry, which is significant. And, yeah, the Raiders are kind of lost.
All that could – I swear to God, I've never seen a team fall off so hard from a statement loss. Yeah.
They lost on primetime to the Chiefs in a game

where they were winning with a minute left,

and everyone was like, they went toe-to-toe with the Chiefs,

and then since then, they lost by a billion to the Falcons,

needed Dr. Heat to dial it up to beat the winless Jets,

and then just lost by a billion to the Colts.

Their season, they lifted the Lombardi trophy

after they lost to the Raiders by like four points on primetime.

Thank you. Jets and then just lost by a billion of the Colts.
Their season, they lifted the Lombardi trophy after they lost to the Raiders by like four points in primetime. Yeah, I mean, they did that when they beat the Chiefs that first time.
It was the lapse that John Gruden did around the stadium. It was the curse of the lapse.
They showed off too soon and ever since then it's been totally downhill. They need to elevate Deuce.
Deuce Gruden should be their defense coordinator at this point. Like what better friend can you get than your little pitbull youngest son that'll just come in and just kick the shit out of everybody on the team until they start making hits.
But Gunther, fun story about Gunther, he wanted to fight me in Indy, which I respect. I respect that, by the way.
I think he should have punched me. But we were in a bar.
It was a pretty hilarious time. It was like right across the street from where everybody usually hangs out during the combine.
And there's like a quieter bar that's across the street from it where we went to just kind of like get out of the mayhem. That was, was it Prime 57? Yep.
That steakhouse. And so I was hanging out with, I'm going to name drop really badly right here do it it was uh jay gruden vrabel sean payton was there and gunther was with him and i was sitting at the bar and we were like he was talking shit to me about which coach he would beat up he was like i'd kick vrabel's ass like he he's not old enough to have old man strength yet he's still in that in-between phase and uh then jay gruden was like who in this bar would you like to punch in the face the most and he was like pft and and he was like why because he talks a lot of shit and i was like that's fair the moral of the story is i believe that he would if he was the type of guy to have actually punched me in my face he'd still have a job he'd be a better defensive coordinator yes that should have been my first indication that he's not about this life.
If you're not going to punch me in the face. Right.
You're not going to be able to punch the Chiefs fucking offensive line in the face. You're not going to be able to inspire, what's his name, Cleland Farrell.
It's true. To go out there and hit somebody else.
I have top 10 punchable face I know at this company, probably in the greater tri-state area. And the best part about that story is i maybe this is like the the duality of this podcast but maybe that night or the night before i also talked to him at the bar and he gave me his phone number yeah well he wanted to fuck you he was like yeah he was like yo i should come on i was like yeah give me your phone number he was mad i wouldn't fuck him so he punched me in my face no um i think he was saying it like as a joke at the time because we're doing a lot of alcohol together.
Oh, you're doing alcohol? And having a good time. Yeah.
But the fact that he didn't punch me in my face, I knew right then I was like, not a football guy. Yes.
Tom Cable would assault me right now. So the Raiders are done.
We talked about this on Friday, but the Raiders are done. The Colts are back all the way back in it.
This was the game that shifted all of the playoff setup here. And the Colts, we also told you, T.Y.
Hilton, Phil Rivers, seemingly are on the same page now. That's becoming a deadly combo.
Like, T.Y. Hilton was lost at the beginning of the year.
He is now found. I think he had two touchdowns.
We also had Jonathan Taylor. Shout out Jonathan Taylor, who's kind of been like, I feel like there's been times where he's been in Frank Reich's doghouse, but he looks good, and he had an awesome touchdown run.
And then should we talk about Josh Jacobs and how mad fantasy owners must be? Very, very angry. Adam Schefter tweeted out before the game, like, Josh Jacobs put on his Instagram story that he's not starting.
By the way, I put a lot of this blame on Adam Schefter for amplifying, for signal boosting that. Because Adam Schefter doesn't, he's not an Instagram story guy.
He can't understand tone. So he basically passed that along as reported fact and then was like, well, it looks like he was just trolling fantasy owners out there which he was good job matthew berry probably wants to have him killed probably going to hire a hit man and put out a contract on him but um yeah i actually i say well done to josh jacobs yes that was as somebody who does not own josh jacobs on any of our how many uh 25 25 fancy teams yep uh i say well played.
So Gruden gave a great Gruden quote afterwards. Someone asked him about this.
Josh Jacobs saying it on his Instagram that he wasn't going to play. Gruden said, I don't have social media.
I'll answer any questions about the game, not the internet. So don't be bringing those internet questions around John Gruden.
John, he might not have the no he probably doesn't no he probably doesn't but yeah that it's it that's it for the Raiders right that's it that's it yeah this was a game Steve Kornacki is that his name Steve Kornacki Steve Kornacki busted a grape because this threw all the percentages off kilter and he got like some solidified teams into the postseason so his khakisakis turned a darker stain of brown. And the Raiders are done.
There's nothing they can do at this point. Yeah.
No, it is over. So all the Raiders fans who told us that we didn't respect the Raiders enough, turns out we were probably right to not respect them all that much.
Have you also noticed that they put Jacoby Brissett in for knee plays? Like when they take a knee? Yes. Yeah.
So it's like if there's any danger at all that your quarterback might have to take more than three steps with a football, Jacoby Brissett is going to be, he got the save to that. All right.
Next up, Jets, Seahawks. I have a very fun stat for you, PFT.
The New York Jets. This is a stat from my own brain.
just was like hey this is kind of weird i'm gonna go look this up so they were winning this game three to nothing yeah so i went and looked it up the new york jets are oh and 13 pft how many times do you think they have scored first i know i know it's been at least five games they have scored first in more than half of their games. They have scored first in seven of their 13 losses.
Hyperdrive. Hyperdrive.
Yeah. After they have scored first, they have been outscored 210 to 95.
That's the problem? How ridiculous is that? Including two times. Today, they were outscored 40 to nothing.
And a few weeks ago, they were outscored 20 to nothing after scoring first. Fun fact, you probably don't know about hot starts when it comes to jets, like the actual airplane jets, do you? You know what a hot start is? Yeah.
No. Tell me.
A hot start is when you try to turn on a jet after it's just been turned off, and it doesn't work. The fuel boils, and the jet immediately.
It's called vapor lock. So there we go.
You can't even turn a jet on. They just been turned off.
Yeah. And it doesn't work.
The fuel boils and the jet immediately.

It's called vapor lock.

So there we go.

You can't even turn a jet on.

They vapor lock themselves.

Their hot starts are vapor locking themselves.

Shit.

Okay.

The jets, you should know this.

Yes.

Yes.

The jets have vapor locked themselves.

I do miss Dr. Heat.

Yeah.

Dr. Heat wouldn't have gotten blown out like this.

No.

Well, no.

He probably would have given up to 60.

Yeah.

But they would have gone down trying. Yeah.
but that was uh that's a very ridiculous stat that uh the jets have

scored first and imagine if you bet that it's always got to be plus money there's seven and

six scoring first right it's got to be huge plus money yes so now they they play the rams next week

so if i'm adam gaze i i actually would not have them stay on the West Coast. I'd bring them back because you want to be around the office so that maybe you'll get fired.
Right. They're not going to fire you when you're on the West Coast.
It's like that's a big pain in the ass. We have to send another plane out there.
We have to pay for a separate flight back for them. But if you're around the office just reminding your owner what a big shithead you are all the time.
Yeah, just stay out there. Yeah, just stay out there.
Just stay out there. Yeah.
But stay out there if you don't want to get fired. Right.
I feel like Adam Gase probably. I don't think he's going to get.
He can't get fired. He wouldn't mind.
They're torturing him. He wouldn't mind being fired.
He's being waterboarded with losses. Yes.
It's exceptional. They all hate him, and they're're like the only thing that we can do to really stick it to him is make him keep coaching the jets so they've got the browns and the patriots who else are they playing who the jets yeah the jets yes the rams browns and patriots go in 16 well week 17 is there any way that that belichick would lose intentionally no the Jets.
Right? What if he worked out some sort of backyard deal where it was like, how do we get Sam Darnold? Wait, if the Jaguars possibly have the tiebreaker, I don't know how that would work. Because the Jaguars beat the Colts week one.
So, yeah, if Belichick could somehow keep Trevor Lawrence from going to the Jets, he would definitely try to do it then. Absolutely.
If he could keep them. Because that would be hating the Jets even more by fucking them over them.
Strength of schedule is a tiebreaker. And who has it? I guess it would depend on how things progress with those other teams.
Okay, so the Patriots need to win two games. I'm going to guess that the Jets would have strength schedule because they played the NFC West and the Jags played the NFC North.
So that would probably be the tiebreaker. So Belichick might, yeah, he might do it.
Yeah. I would absolutely see Belichick doing that to keep Trevor Lawrence out of the division.
That would be incredible. Oh, my God.
And then he could tell Sam Darnold, like, hey, when you become a free agent, come to New England. Right.
And in turn, I won't have the 0-16 label hanging over you. Right, right.
So, yeah, so the Jets, Geno Smith got in. That was awesome.
Yep. Great to see Geno Smith.
I still believe in Geno Smith. I don't know why, but I just do.
Because that West Virginia offense was fun as shit. Yeah, and he like, yeah, I just, I think I read an article whenever he was coming out being like the perfect quarterback.
You can find that for pretty much any quarterback that's ever been drafted in the first round. J.P.
Lossman had a whole documentary around him. Yeah, someone wrote something saying like, the perfect quarterback now exists, Geno Smith.
Yeah, because it was his accuracy. It was like, this guy is 80% accurate.
In that offense at West Virginia, they don't teach how to do anything. You don't have to go to class.
It actually sounds like a pretty kick-ass scenario. Look up his accuracy.
His completion in college. But yeah, coming out, I was befuddled too, Big Cat, when he fell to the second day.
Yeah. What the fuck? Gino Smith, dude.
All these people are idiots for not drafting. He's incredible.
Fortunately, the Jets drafted him and then he was so good. Gino Smith at west virginia 67.4 okay so maybe not as no he had like 80 i think his senior year yeah he was well senior 71 okay there we go higher he don't miss yeah maybe no smith don't miss maybe if he was better he probably wouldn't have stayed until his senior year also um entering this week the jets strength of schedule was 60 and the jags was 55%.
So that's a pretty big gap with only three weeks left. Yeah.
So I would guess that would mean the Jets would have the tiebreaker. Yeah.
Well, yeah, the Jets also, they play some tough opponents. Right.
You got the Rams and the Browns. Yeah.
I just looked it up because I was trying to find the article I read, and I looked up Geno Smith, perfect quarterback, and then I found this stat. Geno Smith is the only quarterback in NFL history to have a 0.0 passer rating and a perfect passer rating in the same season while starting in both games.
That's amazing. That's incredible.
Also people don't talk about the fact that low floor, high ceiling. Remember when he got his jaw broken? Yes.
By like a special teamer? E.K. I.K.? I.K.
Over $100 a plane ticket. What? He punched him in the face.
Oh, that's right. He didn't refund him.
No, was it Quincy Inua? No. No.
No, it was not a wide receiver. It was like a special teamer, seventh round pick.
A player who punched Geno Smith. He went to the Browns after, I think.
That guy should be – yeah, I think he did. That guy should be a Hall of Famer for the Jets.
NM Kupali. Yeah, I got to find the pronunciation.
Get the pronunciation, will you? Mm-hmm. Jets players claim Geno Smith deserved to get punched.
Yeah. Geno Smith.
Oh, man. I remember when that story broke – NM Kupali.
Yeah. When that story broke, I was in Bristol on the set of First Take.
This is perfect. The production assistants came in right before they started the show to tell them the news, and then Skip and Stephen A had to delay the start of taping so that they could review the information.
And then, of course, Stephen A. Smith was like, he deserved it, yes.
That was a take. He came in guns blazing.
Yes, he absolutely deserved it. All right, so, yeah, the Seahawks got right.
The Jets, hyperdrive. Once again, seven games of their 13 losses they have scored first.
And they've been outscored 210 to 95 since. Unbelievable.
All right, Packers-Lions this is these statements are about to say is like if i could i would just jump in front of a moving bus right after i say it here we go uh the packers clinch the nfc north the packers will most likely get the one seed aaron rogers takes a stranglehold on the MVP. And then, boom, I jump in front of a bus and die,

and I don't have to think about any of this stuff.

However, here's a good spin zone.

They're almost like a little bit too perfect on offense, aren't they?

There's got to be something going on.

Because they've got a running game,

and they've got what seems to be a good relationship

between the head coach and Aaron Rodgers.

Like all that stuff.

And they've got a fucking awesome wide receiver. It's too perfect, Big Cat.
Everyone has advice. Listen, I still think they're soft.
I still think they can be had. But with the one seed, it changes everything.
Because if they only have to win two games in Lambeau, I'm nervous i'm officially nervous i'm admitting it i'm i'm baring my soul i'm officially nervous like the idea of a packers chief super bowl and it being a shootout and everyone being like greatest super bowl ever yeah and all yes one right yeah super one yeah there'd be a lot of reporters. Oh, the greatest Super Bowl ever.

And then he wins.

And then I will jump in front of a bus.

Then I will be bus.

You drive the bus.

I'll hop in front.

Just put me in a coma.

I don't care.

Life will have no meaning.

I'll be the only person in the world who'll be like 2021, worst year ever.

It would be very funny, though, if they had that matchup at the super bowl and no reporters were allowed to go to it and write stories about how it's the rematch of super bowl one right and then tell you what put bruce springsteen performing at halftime too and none of the reporters can be down there to watch it that would be great the the game that that all the media missed fuck man i can't have this PFT. I can't.
Okay. What do I do? They have to have advice.
They're soft. They cheat on hard counts.
They're soft. You know what? They love each other too much.
You know how Aaron gets when he's very close with people. The Lions are an interim head coach.
Stafford got hurt. Chase Daniel played.
And they still were in this game. And the Lions stink at home.
And the Lions stink at home. Think about that.
This actually didn't even count as a win. Didn't even count as a win.
So back-to-back weeks. I'm taking away their win for this game.
You give up the run and the win. Yikes.
Yeah. That's embarrassing.
I just did. As a Packers owner, and not a fan, but as an owner, as a businessman, yeah, we've got to take some looks in the mirror about that.
Although, I could still see just because of the history if the giants make the playoffs i could see the giants beating the packers in lambo fuck man fuck fuck fuck all right that's all i have for this game okay i literally wrote down i want to hop in front of a bus packers clinch nfc north probably a buy rogers mvp fuck is there any chance at all the bucks could do it no brady brady versus rogers in lambo saints but then drew breeze their running defenses is actually both of those teams have excellent running defenses dude the saints but drew breeze in like 10 degree weather with his broken shoulder and 17 broken ribs he's gonna have to have a heavy flat jacket on them. He actually drew breeze in Lambeau.
I'm thinking about it right now. Going to play the Packers.
He will be. What's the, what's the, what's the guy from game of Thrones? The, the, uh, reek.
No, no. The dark night mountain.
No, the fucking glass guy. The blue guy.
The night king. Yeah.
And he gets stabbed by Aria. Sorry, spoiler.
And he just shatters. That's going to be Drew Brees.
He's just going to shatter like glass. Okay.
When he gets that cold, he'll get hit, and he will just shatter into a million pieces, and the series will be over. I don't know.
No, I don't think so. I think that a team with a really good rushing defense can go up there and play man ball against the against the packers i'm worried i'm very very worried man ball that's just a kick-ass name for a sport i'm worried all right speaking of the saints they lost to the eagles and we found out taysom hill's probably not that dude yeah if i were to put on my col Coward hat, which does he wear a hat? Backwards.
Forwards. My forwards.
Backwards. Fake soup lover, Colin Coward.
Fake soup lover. Can we talk about Colin Coward for a second? Colin Coward is a fake soup lover.
I guarantee you every fucking time Colin Coward eats a bowl of soup, he posts about it on social media. Did you see three minutes ago? Every time.
This is not a man that eats soup offline. He eats soup for the clout.
I can tell it. That's not a guy that...
I warned you, Steeler Nation. This guy...
He eats soup... Like, fuck his soup eating habits.
I dispute his soup credentials. I have something that I never thought I would say, but Colin Coward's Twitter game, where he's, like, tweeting, like, hey hey had a vodka and soda tonight hey just pounded two bowls of tomato bisque like I'm kind of starting to like it because it's so bad like he's so bad at Twitter where he's like look at all man over here two bowls of tomato bisque no big deal at an airport and by the way Colin not trying to call you out, but those were pussy-ass bowls.
Okay, those weren't even bowls. It was one bowl.
It was a joke. It was a bowl.
Yeah. And he said, I ate two bowls of soup.
Where's the second bowl, Colin? Well, not only that, but the bowl, it was small. It was a small bowl.
It was a small bowl. You know what? It was a tiny-ass bowl.
It was not even a bowl. That's cup yeah if you're if you're a real broth head like me you know soup comes in two forms cup and bowl that is the cup size a bowl size is actually it's usually a lot deeper than that you would you would think a bowl would mean that it's wide yeah but no no no no when you buy soup to go they serve it to you in almost a thermos yeah soup that's's a pussy-ass bowl.
You don't even burn. Big Cat, what did I have for dinner tonight? Call that a bowl.
What did I have for dinner tonight? What did you have for dinner tonight? Chinese. I had a bowl of soup and it came in a fucking thermos.
You had a fucking gallon of it. Guess what I didn't do? I didn't tweet out a picture of it.
Yeah, but that's kind of where he's got you because it's so bad. No.
It's so so bad what was his other one where he was like it was like a vodka soda or something he's like double glass tonight oh sick dude oh he went out for drinks with russillo having cocktails with russillo uh don't come and approach us if you see us just ask to take a picture and bounce out yeah cool obviously he was joking like he was he was trying to be a cool guy by But he wanted people. But that's exactly what.
And then he had that one where he was on vacation.

And. cool obviously he was joking like he was he was trying to be a cool guy by joking but he wanted people but that's exactly what and then he had that one where he was uh on vacation uh and it was like he his wife and another couple in in a hot tub and it was just like so are you guys all fucking swingers because that's all we thought about yes like you don't take a picture on vacation with another couple being like the good life in this hot tub like okay so who's sucking and who's fucking here? Yeah.
Yeah, cowards. He also had when Dustin won the Masters.
Oh, yeah. Congrats on everything.
Well, that's just, I actually will back up Colin there. Golf Twitter is the horniest Twitter in the world because it's a bunch of dudes, old dudes, who golf all the time, who watch golf all day, who probably don't know what internet porn is, and then they see the hot woman at the end of 18 holes, and they're like, oh, my God.
Could you imagine, like, having sex with that? It's by far the horniest Twitter. That and then when they're out on the course and the cart girl comes by, they're like, oh, my God, I think she liked me.
There's an extra 10. You know what I mean? Half the time when there's a corporate malfeasance, it's always at a golf outing.
What were you going to say? I think AT&T Twitter is way hornier. AT&T? The commercials? There's AT&T Twitter? Yeah, it's bad.
They love Lily. On Twitter ads, there's just people going crazy.
They cross the line. They keep talking about her milkers.
All right. Well, either way, coward, we're on to your Twitter game.
We'll have to clean it up when you announce you're working with us in a week. But as I was saying before we got sidetracked, actually, I'm glad we had that conversation.
Yeah, no, I am too. We needed to get that off our chest.
Oh, we need to establish it because he's going to come in here and think he fucking owns the show like bro and pft eats soup on the rag dude i'm gonna i'm gonna pour soup on his head yeah and then when he cries about me like bro i thought you liked soup yeah uh but to go back to my point was colin coward's analogy about taste and hill would be like a swiss army knife is great when it comes to opening a beer or when it comes to like you know using the scissors to trim your nails yeah you need to cut your nails you need to maybe uh cut your you need a new hole in your belt you need to start a fire you need to you need to army knife is great fix something with your shoes maybe screw something in it's great yeah you need to uh repair one of your daughter's shoes so that she can sell them online to a guy for $5,000. It's great.
But you can't build a house with a Swiss Army knife. Big Cat, Dan, you can't build a house with a Swiss Army knife.
Taysom Hill is like a buffet. You go to a buffet, there's something for everyone.
You know, a little pizza, a little Chinese. You have some sushi.
But are you really loving a buffet? Don chinese you have some sushi but are you really

loving a buffet don't you just want to go out and get a nice steak or a couple bowls of soup at the at the airport chilies that's what a real meal is that's drew breeze a buffet that's tasem hill you go out you think it's great you're leaving unsatisfied you know what tasem hill is Daniel? Taysom Hill is when you go on vacation with your two best friends, husband and wife, you get into the hot tub. You got your wife right there.
She's Drew Brees. Then you got the girl and the guy, and you're thinking, one of these is Jameis Winston.
The other says, this one's going to fuck me over as much as I fuck him. This one, I can party with this one for a weekend i can i can party with i'm not gonna party with my wife i'm gonna party with this guy's wife it's always it's always you don't want to take her home it's always like the most masculine like taysom hill is is the sports car you buy after your divorce and and we think it's great and you know it's it's everyone's turning their head and it's new and people say whoa that's crazy it can pass it can run but guess what sometimes you just want a four-door sedan something comfortable point a to point b that's true breeze point c is the playoffs and all the axles are broken point d is only one two two you want the lombardi trophy you can't fit a trophy into a convertible dan all right joey molinaro is much better at that oh yeah and then he tossed in it's the herd yeah tune in uh barstle radio series 85 coming soon uh all right so jalen hurts was good He had 160 yards rushing, 167 passing.
Like that, Billy, credit to you. Billy's now confused.
He's like, wait, do we really arc our line? Billy, credit to you. You called it last week.
Jalen Hurts adds like an energy to the Eagles team. They played with a totally different energy today.
It was very apparent, like complimentary football.

The defense looked back alive.

I do think that if you're Carson Wentz,

you're probably a little pissed because they gave the ball to Miles Sanders

a good amount, and they also had a bunch of run plays with Jalen Hurts.

You're like, wait, this was a balanced offense.

What the fuck, Doug?

Well, yeah, you probably would be.

I've got a take, though, about why sometimes when backup quarter quarterbacks come in the whole team seems to play a little bit harder i think offensive linemen like having a backup quarterback that could take the starting job because then you get two sets of gifts around christmas time yeah you get the starter and then you get the guy who's the plan because if you're jalen hurts right now you rack up a couple wins then all of a of a sudden you have to get them a gift. You've got to get them Yeti coolers.
I think that's just the traditional gift now. It's just like a brand new cooler.
And then Carson Wentz, he still has to buy those because he's the dude that's got paid. So you're going to be in double gift season pretty soon.
For sure. But yeah, Jalen Hurts, He looks like when he runs, he runs like he's going somewhere.
Carson Wentz, when he runs, he runs like he's trying to get away from somewhere. Yes.
Like a little scared. Yes.
And about to get tripped up. Yeah.
When Wentz is scared of where he's going, Jalen hurts has like purpose when he knows where he, yeah. Yeah.
The road, the road, uh, is, is Jalen Hurts. He knows where he's been.
Yeah. That's a Matthew McConaughey commercial.
Yeah. That's pretty much the difference.
Yeah. But the, the saints, that's a bad loss because now they're, I think that the Packers pretty much have this set up.
Like I'm not trying to jinx them, but I am, but the Packers finished the season with uh the panthers titans and bears i mean i guess the titans are going to be a tough one for them but they have the tiebreaker over the saints so now the saints have to win out the saints have to play the chiefs next week true breeze supposed to be back i would say the packers are on the inside track here and that's a Really bad loss for the saints nine point favorites yeah you got to take care of business because especially with drew breeze like playing three games versus playing two games is a big fucking difference when we're talking about going to the super bowl um wasn't this the game that that sean payton game planned out in advance even though he lost in the playoffs yeah it was when he lost to? Yeah, I need all the ice cream. Yeah, so he looked ahead and he was like, I'm going to game plan for the Eagles like I was going to play against them just because I don't know what else to do.
He used that game plan for this game. Yes, yes.
I also enjoyed the Eagles. I think it was a Schefter tweet, but it was like the Eagles intend to keep Carson Wentz.
Like, well, you don't have a choice. Yeah, well.
That'd'd be like i'm intending to keep my my son they could oh yeah you're you're i mean i love my son but you are stuck with carson wentz yeah like how much do you pay your son uh 140 million oh shit yeah you're fucked yeah i inked him up hasn't even hit yet yeah you're gonna be in cap hell in two years but is it it's just so funny to be like, oh, yeah, they intend to keep him. Like, yeah, we know.
They could. Because you can't do anything else.
Why don't they pull what the Texans did with the Browns? They'd have to eat so much money. We'll pay two-thirds of his contract.
Just please take him. They'd have to eat so much money.
Free to a good home, one Carson West. I'd take him on the Bears.
All right, next up, Falcons-Chargers. Oh, my God.
Do these two teams deserve each other? All that needs to be said about this game is the fourth quarter. It's 17-17.
The Falcons are first and 10 at the Chargers, 19, with four minutes left. Matt Ryan throws an interception two plays later.
The Chargers then take the ball. They drive a little bit.
They're at midfield with a minute left. The Chargers throw an interception two plays later.
Then Matt Ryan gets the ball back. He's first and 10 at the Chargers 45.
He throws an interception. And the Chargers finally put us all out of our, you know, just having to sit there and watch this.
And they kick a field goal and win. But the fact that they traded interceptions three times in the last four minutes is the most Chargers and Falcons ending possible.
It was like watching an awesome jam band go back and forth just trading solos with each other. They were the Spider-Man.
And it felt like we were on drugs watching it. It was sweet.
They should engineer these matchups. Instead of playing the Bucks twice, the Falcons should play the Chargers.
They're the perfect complement. Twice every year.
Yes. I mean, there should be one inter-conference, intra, inter, outer, there should be one externally conferenced rivalry that every team gets each year where you play your counterpart, the team that's most like you, on the other side twice.
And, I mean, I would watch this game. It was fun to watch because of how fucked up everything was.
Anthony Lynn, they ran the ball with no timeouts left at the 10-yard line. Yeah.
And then they didn't know how to get their – This is at the end of the first half. At the end of the first half.
They didn't know how to get their offense off the field or whether their kicking team should go on the field. And Anthony Lynn, it should be noted, after last week's debacle, took over more responsibility about special teams.
And then they snapped the ball when they had like 15 guys on the field and I think two guys on the line of scrimmage. Yes.
Just in case the refs didn't notice. But PFT, afterwards, he was asked about it and he said, you can't run the ball in that situation.
Yep.

So at least he knows he's an idiot.

I like that, though, that he's just like, you can't do it.

Like, well, Anthony Lynn, you're the head coach.

Can't do it.

Just can't run the ball in that situation.

You're the head coach.

You did that two weeks ago against the Bills when you ran the ball in the same exact situation at the end of the game.

It's crazy.

He's a panic guy.

He's an ultimate panic guy there

are panic coaches he's a panic coach like like we said i think somebody taught him numbers and

that's now what he's always thinking about is what the smartest play by the book is to do right when

he's a football guy and he should just be like we're going to go out here and panic execute and

not worry about what the math says it's insane it's insane he's an insane insane person they

need to hire somebody next year as their head coach who is going to have the ability to make

Thank you. the math says.
It's insane. He's an insane, insane person.
They need to hire somebody next year as their head coach who is going to have the ability to make Herbert forget everything that he's learned over the last year. Hire a pothead.
Hire Chris Long. Anyone.
Just smoke him out for six months. Listen to Dark Side of the Moon.
Lose it all. Enjoy.
Just men in black yourself and erase your memory and forget everything that you've been taught because years from now, we're going to – eventually we'll get far enough in the future. We're going to be able to look back and be like, Anthony Lynn was so far ahead of his time.
Like the Zodiac Killer, we've cracked his code and figured out what he was trying to do with this offense. But for now, he has a bird inside of his head.
Yeah, he does. It's a sick bird.
Yes. We also had an awesome wildcat throw, which we just got to throw out there because we always make fun of it.
Was it Russell Gage? Threw an awesome touchdown. Is he like two for two this year? He was an awesome touchdown.
And it was a wildcat throw. So we got to throw it out there because we do joke all the time about how wildcat is going to be a run or a pass.
Oh, it's going to be a run again. Also, the Chargers uniforms were amazing.
Yeah, they were. As usual.
Yeah, they were. All right, last but certainly not least, the Washington football team and the San Francisco 49ers playing in Arizona.
This game, if you look at the stats, the Niners had 344 yards to Washington football teams, 193 yards. They had 21 first downs to 12, and they had five minutes more of possession.

But the Washington football team, for as bad as their offense looked,

their defense kicked the fuck out of the Niners. Yeah, football teams playing team football.

They kicked the fuck out of the Niners.

That's the football team way, Big Cat.

They fucking killed them.

Listen, their offense sucks.

It sucks, sucks, sucks. They're bad offensively, really bad, like noteworthily bad on offense.
And without Antonio Gibson, they're even worse. With Antonio Gibson, the team does look a little bit different, but he's a really good player, and not having him obviously hurts.
But it doesn't matter. If your defense can score two touchdowns

and then get two more turnovers to set your team up with a short field,

and by short I mean like makeable field goal

from where you get the ball on defense,

then the Washington football team defense scored 21 points today, I believe.

They were all over the field.

Chase Young, obviously, defensive rookie of the year. They were, I mean, they kicked the shit out of the 49ers.
He's got terrible ball security, though. He does, but they kicked the shit out of the Niners.
They did. And they took sole possession of first place in the NFC Beast.
Control or destiny, baby. Next week against the Seahawks is a huge, huge game.
How are the Eagles aren't like... Eagles are mathematically

involved. Still involved? They're involved in the

conversation. They're not, though.
They're like two games out,

right? No, no, no. They're definitely in.

Oh, and you guys play week

17, right? Yeah. So they're definitely in.

I think it's like 70%

chance the football team makes the football playoffs

and then the rest is split between

the Giants and the Eagles. I've got

to take... The Cardinals and the Cowboys, the Eagles

have next two weeks.

So, I mean, that would be – wouldn't that be great for the Washington football team and the Eagles to play for the division in week 17 while also the Giants, like who knows what's going to happen? And then you get a tie out of it. Yeah.
That would be incredible. But, yeah, the team defense is awesome.
Montez Sweat has the coolest name, I think, in the NFL. Chase Young, it looks like he's just driving a tiny car that he's crashing into people when he tackles them.
It's very violent but cool. When he was returning that touchdown, I did think back to Sean Taylor back in 2005, 2006, when he had those two returns for touchdowns to send him to the playoffs.
It looked very similar to those. The problem is Alex Smith is injured.
Well, he's hurt. Possibly injured.
He's hurt. The x-rays came back negative.
But I don't know how you interpret. There are probably two people in the United States that can interpret an Alex Jones right leg x-ray.
Alex Smith. Or Alex Smith.
Sorry, Alex Jones. It's reviewed documents.
His leg. Don't tread on me.
His leg's fucked up. But, yeah, I don't know what you'd look at.
It's like, well, this bone. You tested negative for having it to be.
You don't have bones, sir. Sir, good news.
The x-ray is negative. You don't have a shin.
I'm looking at it right now, PFT, and I now see the future. So the Washington football team is going to lose to Seahawks and beat the Panthers.
The Philadelphia Eagles are going to somehow win the next two games. Who do they play? They play the Cardinals and the Cowboys.
You know how this has to go, though. We made fun of it at the time, but the Eagles will finish 7-8-1, and the Washington football team will finish seven and nine no and that tie will be wouldn't that be incredible if doug peterson the mastermind playing for a tie back in whatever week it was no it wouldn't decides the division no that would not be fun at all jesus christ that would be incredible i think you know what i kind of am mad at the was Washington football team for winning today because I'll never apologize for it.
Well, no, I know, but imagine if all these all four teams with one game of each other. Listen, it's way funnier if the winner of the NFC Beast gets in with a losing record.
That's what I'm really hoping for. I think that'd be awesome.
But what if the football team rested their starters next week?

Against the Seahawks. Just punted on it?

Yeah, that's going to be...

Oh, man, if you don't have Alex Smith, what are you going to do?

Bad things happen when the football team plays against the Seahawks.

You should just punt.

In Routon.

Yes, yes.

It happens.

It's bad.

You should just punt.

They've knocked us out of the playoffs twice in the last 15 years.

The RG3 game happened. Yeah, you should just punt.
You should just punt. Punt on every single down.
Wildcat to Tressway the entire time. Punt.
Get rid of the ball. Punt.
If you rest your starters, you take the loss, you get healthier, maybe Antonio Gibson's turf toe is good to go the following week, and then you beat the Panthers, then maybe you beat the Eagles, then maybe you go on a little run. You make some noise.
You got a home game. You got a home game in the playoffs.
Yep. And next thing you know, you're up in Lambeau.
Yeah, that's true. Kicking the shit out of Aaron Rodgers, those soft-ass Packers.
All right. I do like how in Arizona now they've switched the midfield logo.
So we have the shield there. We've got the NFL shield

is at the 50-yard line. Yes.

Because it's being shared by two teams.

You've got that in New York. And then, I think

you still probably have that in Carolina,

right? Or did the new guy...

I think they might have changed it. Yeah, yeah.
They might have changed it.

That's spitting on Mr. Richardson's stature.

You need the logo. Alright.

Let's do... We're going to do some college football

talk in a minute here. Quick word from our friends from Draft Top.
Draft Top sucks. I hate this thing.
It completely changed the way I drink from cans. I don't know why they wrote that, but it caught my eye.
It caught my eye. I actually love Draft Top.
So if you don't know what Draft Top is, it basically pops the top of a can off. You can drink it a lot easier if you're drinking beers beers if you're trying to yug some beers you pop the top off and you can drink it super super easy billy you love it for spitters great for spitters draft top is great just popping the tab is like choosing to drink from a sippy cup draft top honestly i thought the whole thing was bullshit when i first tried it but i loved it i don't think that taking the whole top off the can would make that much of a difference, but they gave me a tool.
I tried it, and my mind was absolutely blown. There was the old me, my life before Draft Top, and now there's only the new me, my life after Draft Top.
It sounds dumb. Taking the tops off your cans might sound dumb, but it completely changed your perspective for every single goddamn can.
What were you going to say, Billy? Also, if you don't have cups for beer pong, you can turn the cans directly into cups. That's actually genius.
Yeah, no. You remember when Billy was saying that he wasn't a Chad? Yeah.
Remember when? Oh, sorry. I'm trying to.
No, that's great. No, no.
That actually is great. But you can like, so say you get a Corona in a can or you get some other beer in a can.
You can throw some fruit in there. Draft top is the best.

Throw a little lime in your Bud Light.

It's great.

What were you going to say?

I was going to say one other thing that you can do with that can is you can make the Jim Tomsula cocktail, which is like a PBR or another light beer.

And then you add some salt into it and some hot sauce.

And that's what he used to drink growing up.

Also, Boilermakers.

Yeah.

Just drop a shot. Drop a shot of vodka into your beer that will get you going real going used to drink those in college those were delicious not really delicious but you get the point draft top is delicious pop that top off i'm telling you uh it sounds dumb but it is awesome awesome awesome awesome super easy to use uh and you also just impress everyone because they'll be like, hey, you want me to take that top off? And then the girls will be like, whoa, should I take my? Whoa, no, I was talking about the draft top.
Girls take their tops off. It's also easier to drink.
You know what I'm saying? The milkers. Yeah, you can just kind of little disambiguation right there for you, folks.
Go check them out. Draft top, draft top, draft top, draft top.
We love draft top. Go check them out.
Draft Top. Draft Top.
Draft Top. Draft Top.
We love Draft Top. Go check it out.
Seriously, you will not be disappointed. Okay.
College football, and then we'll do some football guy, some who's back, and then we'll send everyone on their way. Florida, the shoe game.
That was such an awesome college football game between the swamp, the fog, like LSU being bad but fighting, Florida sitting Kyle Pitts, which like I still – the ellipses that he put out, that feels like something's cooking in Gainesville. Everything in front of him for Florida, an all-time college football loss.
Like college football losses, they just seem to hurt way more because they just, everything in front of you, and then one loss can just destroy your entire season. And everything that Florida had built this year wiped away, and all the bad stuff that LSU had wiped away.
Yeah, if you had actually over, what do you mean? No, it was a tie game. So if you didn't watch, it was a tie game.
Florida's driving. No, LSU's driving.
They're like midfield. It's third down.
Florida makes the stop. So LSU's going to have to punt.
It's a tie game with like two minutes left. There's enough time left that they wouldn't necessarily have gone for it.
They would have kicked away. Florida player picks up the LSU guy's shoe that had fallen off and throws it 20 feet yards down the field, and they throw a flag, multiple flags, basically giving LSU a first down, and then LSU gets a couple more yards.
It was Cade York bombs a fucking kick in the fog, like 50-plus. Absolutely perfect.
No, it wasn't Cole Tracy. I know, but we like respect and Cole Tracy..
Bombs it and Florida actually came back and almost had a chance to win it, but the shoe game. Literally that shoe changed Florida's season.
They were going to maybe play for the SEC. They're still going to play for the SEC championship, but they were going to maybe play for a spot in the college football playoff.
Now it's pretty tough all because he threw a shoe. And I also felt really old when I said who threw a shoe and no one was like, oh, that's from us.
I mean, that was the whole timeline. Right.
I know, but I feel like a lot of people didn't get that because it's a long time ago. Yeah, there was that.
And then there was the George Bush getting hit by the shoe. And that dude that threw the shoe found out about this play and like quote tweeted it today and was like, oh my God, look at this guy.
So the shoe thrower was impressed by this. And Dan Mullen, to his credit, this is an awesome, awesome spin zone and I find myself agreeing with it.
He said that Marco Wilson didn't have an intent to taunt by throwing the shoe. I think it should be legal to throw a shoe.
I actually agree with them, by the way.

Why can't you throw a shoe?

I actually agree with them.

Would somebody explain that to me?

First of all, you're right.

It was not a taunting shoe toss.

No, it was excitement.

It was excitement, and it was also like,

there's a shoe here.

I hope somebody doesn't trip on it.

Better throw it that way.

That was a big tackle excitement shoe throw.

Yeah, you should be allowed to throw your opponent's shoes.

I agree.

If they're already off,

you should not be allowed to remove the shoe.

You shouldn't be allowed to untie the shoe and take it off. No, I take it back.
You should be allowed to remove the shoe. You shouldn't be allowed to untie it and then remove it.
Right. If you're strong enough that you take it off in the course of a tackle intentionally, you should be allowed to do that.
And then you should be allowed to throw the shoe as far as you want. It makes no sense that you're not allowed to throw a shoe.
And salty, salty Dan Mullen, he's top of the list for salty head coaches. It's like him and Scott Frost are having the saltiest seasons because he's had a ton of times where he was complaining about Texas A&M having a bunch of fans and how he wanted to pack the swamp.
But Dan Mullen being like, well, it's because we play more games and everyone else is a coward. So I agree with it in a weird way that, yes, of course, if you play 10 games, there's more of a chance that you're going to lose a game.
What happened at the start of their season? Right. That's the part that I don't know if Florida fans are just forgetting about that.
So the argument is Ohio State's 5-0. If they had to play a 10-game schedule, they would eventually have a freaky game like that last night where they would lose.
Okay, but Florida lost to Texas A&M in their third game, lost to LSU in their last game, no matter how you break up their five-game schedule. Actually, no, you know what? If they only played games four through nine, they would be in.
Four through nine. They'd be five and oh.
Yeah. But you already have a loss.
You already have a loss. I've got the short-term memory of a goldfish, and I vividly, that's the first thing I thought of, was like Florida lost at the start of the year.
They have a loss. They've got a loss.
It would make sense if you played ten games and you lost on the last game of the season and it was a fluky loss and your 23-point favorite, which guess what, Dan Mullen? That's on you, dude. Like, your 23-point favorite, you have Kyle Pitts, you sat him.
I don't know if he's hurt. I think it was kind of a resting thing, not taking them seriously.
You're playing against a freshman quarterback. Shout out Brad Johnson's son.
Brad Johnson, all-time fat face. Love that guy.
Just just a big ass face uh he wore a big helmet yeah he had the the face mask that like huge face his face mask was a double bar one but it went down like below his chin yeah he didn't really it protected his neck more than anything he looked like one of those artists you see on like the vegas strip or like central park who draws you like with a huge face and a little body yeah that's what that's his face but that's all on you dan mullen you lost that game you already had lost the game like sorry man i i i kind of i i totally agree with you that the big 10 has fucked up their schedule the pac-12 has fucked up their schedule the fact that they haven't played a full schedule is stupid they should have started in september and had built-in bye weeks no there. Where I lost you is the fact that you already had lost.
So you can't say, well, this was the game, like, and you still had to beat Bama. You're not going to beat Bama.
I'm sorry, you're not going to beat Bama. Dan Mullen also said today, he said today that Mac Jones was a great game manager for Alabama.
So he's already, like, digging in. He's a salty one.
I like how salty he is. He is a salty ass coach.
He's jealous that his wife's making out with all his players. So he's got a little extra level of spice.
And the. He's.
You know what he is though? He's the. I love head coaches where.
So head coaches in college football are the master of their universe. They are the biggest ticket in town.
They run the whole place. They run the they run the campus the cops everything they are literally the king of a little tiny world where no one can tell them like hey you can't do that and then when things don't go their way they immediately turn into like five-year-olds that complain about everything and the best part is when you get a coach like dan mullen who can't help himself, who doesn't have the wherewithal to stop himself from saying things, and he just is like, the best way to handle this is to whine out loud, and surely that will look good.
I think he thinks that he's Nick Saban. He thinks that he's got a couple of natties under his belt.
Dabo does this so once a year, where he'll be like, oh yeah, Florida State forfeited. They're cowards.
Dabo, don't say that. He wants to be Dabo.
He looks at Dabo and he's like, that's who I am. I'm going to be that of Florida.
And it doesn't work for him because he doesn't have the hardware to back it up. And in this specific scenario, it's like, dude, you lost early in the season to a better team than you.
can you can you imagine ohio state getting beaten right now by lsu right in columbus i couldn't imagine it no i think ohio state would beat the shit out of yes like they would they would fucking curb stomp yes right now you overlooked them you overlooked lsu and that game was pretty sweet though because the fog and the answers were like i i think they can see fine down on the field but we can't see from up here no it was like a cloud yes it was like yeah i do love um i i will say something nice about florida i like when florida's in the mix there's something about the swamp there's something about the colors i i love the color of their uniforms the gate they does suck we've said this before but when you have the gator chomp and then people can do it to you, like a kicker doing it to you. Jake, you're a Florida fan, right? Yeah.
It's tough. People do the same thing with the seminal.
Yeah. The chop? The chop.
Yeah. That's bad.
Horns down. Horns down.
It's always tough. When you have something people can do.
but uh yeah that i just love college coaches getting in front of a microphone and being like

i'm gonna explain this away by being really, really whiny about it. I mean, Scott Satterfield, we talked about him last week.
Like, when they just start talking and they can't stop talking because they are the kings of their world, and usually 99.9% of the time when they talk or tell someone something, they will just buy it no matter what. They're usually the highest paid public state employees inside that state.
So they are a warlord. They exist.
And yeah, they have their own cops. Right.
They are warlords. They have their own cops.
They're warlords. And then they have their one moment where they lose a very bad game and they're like, I'm going to just be mad and it always it just makes me laugh every time i would love it if like one college coach maybe dan mullen would do something like this but like designed his own military style outfit like a dictator actually wears i think he would and comes out with like ribbons on his chest like a hat the hat and the sunglasses and the pins and the shoulder things yeah the golden frills on makes everyone stand for him and I mean, Lane Kiffin would look good in a dictator's outfit.
I actually don't think that that's too unreasonable, especially because most of these college coaches have like 10 kids anyway. They have little child soldiers in their house.
Yeah. They just march them out to them.
They have a literal band of child soldiers. Yes.
Or young adult soldiers. Yes.
That play for them. Here we go.
God, that'd be so fucking cool. I mean, they did it in Miami when they wore the fatigues.

That's true.

Yeah.

We need to.

God.

I'm not going to be able to fall asleep tonight.

I'm just going to be imagining Mac Brown walking out with a corncob pipe aviators.

Driving like an old school Jeep.

Yeah, with absolutely no doors on it.

Even the windshield has been removed.

Pulling up with 10 people in it.

His entire staff is in the Jeep.

Yeah, a revolver on each hip. All right, other games.
Shout out our guy, Keaton Slovis, the part of my take bump. Clay Helton's an idiot.
He was trying to run the ball there at the end of the game. So Keaton saw that it was man-to-man and threw a touchdown pass against UCLA and covered the spread.
He was throwing dimes out there in the fourth quarter. He was awesome.
Do you have any criticism of him? Because we can't gas him up. Remember, he has to.
He missed some reads early in the game. I was watching the game footage, but it was actually a pretty stellar.
No, don't. Okay, okay.
He missed some reads. I'm going to be a dickhead.
Put himself in a hole. Yeah, he put himself in a hole.
I noticed he actually wasn't defending his team when they almost had a brawl at the end of the game. Yeah, he didn't get involved in the scuffle.
Yeah, he was like team guy move. He was like joking and laughing and walking away from it.
I saw that too. Dang him on the draft board.
No, but USC just plays the same game every week now where they just go down and then they come back late in a dramatic fashion. Is the PAC too chill to complain when they don't get a team into the college football playoff? Well, it's more that they're just kind of used to it now.
It's been a while. I haven't heard any saltiness out of West Coast fans.
I want to say, so obviously Oregon went and lost to Ohio State that year that they beat Jameis with the crazy fumble. Yeah.
And then also they lost to Auburn, I want to say. So they've been twice.
Washington went once and got smoked by Alabama. But I think that's it.
I think they've only had it three times. But they're not even trying to act like if USC goes undefeated, why aren't they getting any talk? I haven't heard a single person mention that.
There's been a little bit of talk, but you can see it in the polls that the committee never even thought about right because they have them ranked in like 15th or something the committee polls are just a joke at this point they have iowa state ranked seventh and uh louisiana who beat iowa state by 17 i want to say ranked like 19th so it doesn't really okay washington was in it in 2016 2017, 2017. I remember that was when they switched it to New Year's night,

and it was like, ooh, this is going to be great, New Year's Eve.

It was like, this is going to be great,

and then it was just, I think Michigan State played one of the games too

and didn't score, and we were just like, well, this sucks.

No, it was Michigan State, Oklahoma, Alabama, Clemson.

That was 2015.

Yeah, so there were some good college football games. Next Saturday is going to be awesome I'm very very excited MAAC championships kicks us off on Friday night watch out for Buffalo they're beasts oh and that Western Michigan play did you guys see that yeah that was the most MAAC thing ever I should count that that should absolutely count alright should we do some football guy of the week and Baby Braun, and then we'll get out of here with who's back of the week? Football Guy of the Week.
So, Football Guy of the Week. First up, Pachter's offensive tackle, David Bakhtiari.
Okay. He showed pride in a tweet after running down the field after Aaron Jones during last week's win over the Eagles.
Kind of have to see it to not believe it, but see it to understand the context. I saw the play.
I saw the play. The play was, I mean, it was a great hustle play on his part, but he didn't really do anything.
He just kind of like ran down the field and was looking for somebody to block. And he couldn't block anyone, so he just kept running.
Right. I should reiterate, the tweet itself.
For the guys coming in at the last second mark on gassers, for the kids that have worn a t-shirt to the pool, for the guys who have to order an appetizer with an Andre, I didn't run for me. I ran for us.
Anything is possible. Go 69, go.
Yeah, he's an underrated 69 guy. Yes.
He's actually more about that 69 life than Gronk is. Yes.
Next, a recurring nominee,er, Randall Cooker, but not for football. Of course, the point was historic, and that was great, but she took a smelling salt right to coming to the sideline.
She ripped it too. Yeah.
That was actually awesome. It was like a couple lines of smelling salt.
I'm just going to say this once. She's bigger than Billy.
She's like 6'2 1⁄2". She could beat the shit out of Billy.
I've been looking at pictures of Billy football when he's standing next to Dave Portnoy, when he's standing next to PFT Cometor. He's not that tall.
So Sarah Fuller, taller than Billy, would absolutely kick the shit out of you. Yes.
FightFuller.com? FightFuller.com. Do it, Billy.
FightFuller.com. He would absolutely kick the shit out of me.
Yeah, of course course Shout out all the people who just can't just let a moment happen And have to be like this is bullshit It means something in our culture war It was cool It was Vanderbilt football If you're that threatened by that Like Jesus fucking Christ man Find a new hobby Do something else You can't't let Sarah Fuller kicking an extra point ruin your entire day. You cannot.
A Saturday. You cannot.
A Saturday. It makes you a small dick guy.
Imagine being so angry at that. It's actually hilarious to say.
Listen, you're watching football and you get so mad that you walk across the room to the computer and say actually why it's bad. Just let people enjoy things.
And then you take a tweezers out of your little desk cabinet, and you just start jerking off your little tiny penis for the rest of the day. Texas A&M linebacker Buddy Johnson, when asked where he would rank the Aggies, he has no idea but he said I can tell you what time we practiced today I mean just for the name alone that's a football name Buddy Johnson hang on docking yeah Giants defensive coordinator Patrick Graham when asked about potential head coaching interests said, I'm not smart enough to think ahead of today.
I've got to get ready for third down against Arizona. There we go.
That didn't really work out. No.
No. So vote in the pool.
Yeah. By the way, shout out Arizona Wildcats.
You lost so bad that you had to fire your coach. That game was so bad.
The blowouts in the social media, they need to talk about that. Oh, my God.
It's my favorite thing in the entire world. That poor kid who they put on that graphic card.
I want to interview. Actually, I would love.
Let's set that up. So a social media editor for a team, college or NFL, please hit us up.
But you have to have like four or five times that you can show us that you've had to tweet. Just an absolute shellacking.
And I want to talk to you for 10 minutes about what goes through your head when you have to do that. I'm pretty sure it's like a branded thing where they have to guarantee a minimum amount of posts that have like a picture with their sponsors handle on it.
Yeah. It's like, or it's also, listen, they're not dumb.
They know that it's good for engagement, but I want to talk to the year. Yeah.
They have to be like, and we had four tweets this month that got an average of 2.5 thousand replies to them because we got beat by our in-state rivals by 63 points. I just like

final.

We want to talk to that person.

So let's...

If you are that person, and you

can prove that you've had to do it like four or five

times, we would like to have a 10-minute

conversation with you with everything that goes through your

head, whether you look at the mentions,

etc., etc. Alright.

Baby Braun of the week. Hank, your Baby Braun of the week week apparently there's a guy in the lakers named talon oh taylor norton tucker there we go talon horton tucker wait where did he go to school oh jake didn't know wow subscribe to the bench mob where you can get knowledge like that all the time i would say i enjoyed he so he tweeted he tweeted.
He's on the Lakers. He had like 19 points in one of their preseason games.
Garth Foreman's so mad that he didn't draft him. LeBron tweeted, which I enjoyed this baby Bron because I think it's a little bit of a subtweet, kind of like at Kyle Kuzma.
But it was like, telling you right now, this kid is flat out special, mark my words. So it's like, you know, it's not just he's gassed up his teammates.
LeBron's also the coach and the GM. So if he's saying that about this kid, then Kyle Kuzma is also like, oh, what the fuck? And a sports junkie, regardless of his own sport he's played.
Correct. True.
Correct. Just his thoughts.
PFT, do you have a baby Braun? My baby Braun is Derrick Henry. But not because LeBron is claiming him, because Derrick Henry has, I guess he sunned himself? Derrick Henry stunned himself, sun-cucked LeBron is claiming him.
Because Derrick Henry has, I guess he sunned himself. Derrick Henry sunned himself, sun-cucked LeBron James, did the LeBron celebration when he scored that touchdown.
The three high knees and then the chest slap. And then LeBron saw it online.
And, Hank, we should actually put the audio in here. LeBron James watching Derrick Henry do the LeBron celebration and the grunts that he makes.
Because you can tell LeBron is standing up at the time and emulating Derrick Henry, emulating LeBron James. Yeah, King.
Yeah, King. Let's go.
And nothing makes him happier in the entire world than that. And so Derrick Henry, he's forced himself into the LeBron family.
That's a big mouth defeat on Taco Tuesday. Huge mouth.
So you're going to want to expand the budget a little bit for your shopping. But yeah, Derrick Henry is Baby Braun of the Week.
All right, my Baby Braun is, I think we've had this a couple weeks, but brawn because espn just stole it from us i now i know they didn't actually steal it from us but so lebron i think it was the anniversary of the first time lebron was on espn uh it was like maybe 20 years ago and the headline said baby brawn yeah they know what they're doing they know exactly what they're're doing. So Baby Braun gets the Baby Braun of the week for me.
So, yeah. And Dickie V just losing his mind.
Are you serious? Yeah, because Baby Braun. Threw a pass behind his Baby Braun back.
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah. It's just a Baby Braun everywhere.
But, yeah, I saw that and I was like, you motherfuckers. Like, of course, you get to do it because you did actually have the rights to Baby the rights to baby Braun.
But still. That wasn't baby Braun.
You know what you're doing. That was preteen.
That was 16-year-old Braun. Yeah, we're making baby Braun big.
And then you just hopped on and we're like, hey, baby Braun of the week. Baby Braun.
I don't think I can think of a more ESPN thing to say than they just tweeted out the anniversary of LeBron James appearing for the first time on ESPN. Yeah, no, it's look at this on this date.
Baby Braun makes ESPN debut. That's that's a Jake Marsh on this day in sports.
Uh-huh. Literally baby Braun got fuck you ESPN.
We know what you're doing. They're distancing themselves from our content.

Sasha Obama.

Whoa.

Baby Brown of the Week.

Whoa, dude.

Yeah.

Why?

She's just blowing up Twitter.

Yeah, for what?

For being Baby Brown of the Week.

What'd she do, Billy?

What?

No, she's just been trending.

Why? Why?

Because she's...

You don't know.

Why?

Billy, this is...

Billy, why? Billy, this is...

Well, they all might have taken.

A stunning lack of preparation.

Chase Young, he went off.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Okay.

Billy, did you check why Sasha Obama's trying to...

No.

I don't know why.

All right, I'm looking up right now.

We're all going to find out together.

Uh-oh.

This new Sasha Obama photo tearing through Twitter is so stunning.

Herein lies the epitome of daddy issues. So you do know.
She took a picture that made Billy horny. Thanks, Billy.
All right, Billy. She's 19.
All right, let's finish up. Actually, you're what? 21.
Yeah, you're 21. Yeah, you're 21.
That's fine. Let's finish up with who's back of the week.
You know what's really back? PFT, you had it the other day, right? No, I had two of them. Two of them.
The McRib. I had the McRib.
Is it back? It's big time back. Two of them, the perfect lunch, two McRibs, a large fry, and a McDonald's Sprite.
It does not get better than that. That's heaven on earth.
I love the McRib, and it's only around once in a great while. It's the most

important sandwich of the year. It's back.

It's available at participating

McDonald's. I love the McRib.

Some cities get it every single

year. You're lucky if you're in one of those cities,

but others have gone up to seven years

without the McRib. The longer

places have without it, the more outcry

for it to return there is. It's like the Browns in the playoffs.
That's the McRib for some cities. You don't get it all the time.
You need the McRib. And even if you only get it once a year, you miss it during those other 11 months when it's gone.
You want it back. You heard about it in the New York Times, and Vice, Time, more featured op-eds about the McRib.
I want to write an op-ed about the McRib and get it in the New York Times. How does one go about doing that? That would be like Chris Berman using one of our Bermans on NFL Primetime and then the Wall Street Journal publishing an op-ed for me about how much I miss the McRib.
My career would only go down from there. People have driven over state lines to get a McRib because it's not available in their area.

One guy started a McRib finder

that told people where the McRib is available.

And some have decided to just find ways

to make their own McRib, but it's not the same.

It's just not the same.

It's available for a limited time

at participating McDonald's.

Get the McRib.

Get two McRibs, Sprite and a large fry.

That's the Cactus Jack meal.

That's the new Cactus Jack meal.

We declared it.

Check it out.

McRib, get involved.

I'll see you next time. Two McRibs, Sprite, and a large fry.
That's the Cactus Jack meal. That's the new Cactus Jack meal.
We declared it. Check it out.
McRib, get involved. All right, who's back of the week? Hank.
My who's back of the week is NBA players in general, Jason Tatum being 19. So Jason Tatum apparently grew.
He's doing a little Kevin Durant. I guess the opposite of Kevin Durant.
He's listed as 6'10 this year. Brad Stevens says he's grown a couple inches.

No, that is a Kevin Durant.

You get an inch taller every year.

No, but Kevin Durant does that.

He's taller than he lists himself.

Kevin Durant weirdly does the opposite.

Huh.

So Kevin Durant refuses to say that he's a 7'4".

Yeah, right.

So I guess LeBron does that.

He's gone from 6'7 to 6'8 to 6'9", and then he gets, like, 10 pounds heavier every year, too. Speaking of Kevin Durant, though, he's also back in the news.
Him and Kyrie Irving did an Instagram Live on Saturday night, which was one of the craziest. Given the fact that Kyrie Irving is not doing media this year or whatever, he says he's getting fine.
He's like, I'm too important for media sessions. Like.
That doesn't faze me. He doesn't talk to Ponce.
Did this Instagram Live where I couldn't tell if they were trolling because they're not trolling. I think they were.
I think it's one of those things. I don't know.
I really couldn't tell. I had to give it some honest, honest thought because they're talking about how many post-ups per game Kyrie's going to get, and he's like, I'll get 10.
And Kevin Durant's like, no, we agreed to two and a half. And, like, the half is just you going to the post and kicking it back out to me.
And they were, like, clearly arguing. So it's like if they were trolling, it's funny.
But if they're not trolling, it actually – everyone was obviously the reaction was like, this is going to be a disaster. This team is not going to work.
They're just going to fight the whole time. I feel like they were trolling.
So if they were trolling, it's funny. But I don't know.
I really don't know. Especially with Kyrie.
Like he's so he is weird. I think I've decided to just he was sitting to like he was meditating like the way he was sitting was just giving me the weirdest vibes.
I think I'm going to become a Kyrie guy and just take everything that he says is 100% the truth. Well, he's just like, I don't know.
He's 30 years from now. We might look back.
I can't wait to come back to Boston. But Kyrie is getting dangerously close to that territory where I'm going to start liking him because he makes so many people mad.
Yeah. When he gets everyone pissed off, if he continues to get everyone pissed off, I'm just going to be like, I kind of like a disruptor.
He's a disruptor. He definitely thinks of himself as a disruptor.
Yes. That's the only problem.
He thinks he's the basketball Steve Jobs. I'm not hopping all the way in because of that self-awareness.
But Big Cat, what if like, okay, think about it. What's the harm in going with everything that Kyrie Irving says and believes? I'd rather believe him and have him be wrong than not believe him and have him be right.
Yeah. Like, what's the harm in me believing that the earth is flat? None not none so i think we're a kairi podcast i think we are no i think we just talked ourselves into two out of three is he um is he getting dangerously skinny he looks like they both are vegan yeah oh billy not good uh yikes not good uh-oh all right uh pft your who's back um my who's back of the week is United States soccer.
Oh, do we win? U.S. soccer's back big time.
No. Well, in a way, we did because Gio Reyna.
I think he's Claudio Reyna's son. Long-time captain.
I thought that was one name. He had that nice assist back in 2002 against Mexico.
I remember that. Sounds good.
Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal. A cracker.

World class. No, you can't say racist

stuff like that. Fredo of a goal.

And him and

Pusolicic are tearing up

European soccer. So I'm confident

in the U.S.'s chances

in 2022 in Qatar.

We're finally back. I think we're back.
Freddie, you do.

Finally back. Come on board, buddy.
We missed you.

Alright, my Who's Back of the week is end of the year prep diets. We're going to get back into it, boys.
You got to prep yourself before we get to January 1. I told you, Billy, I'm getting back in the gym tomorrow.
This is the time. This is the time you give yourself a little lead up and then you're ready to go.
Because guess what? What do they say about January 1st? Amateur season, i gotta i try i gotta try to get in the gym before that yeah it's like the people that go out to bars on new year's right right so unlike me a cool guy he's in bars every single night here all the time here's the here's what you gotta do this is you have three weeks until new year's you gotta do i would say at least three times you need to go for a little jock. Okay.
Maybe eat a couple salads and tell yourself you're priming yourself up so that on January 1st, you're not going to shock your system when you actually do try to get on that. It's actually dangerous if you go to the gym on January 1st.
So I'm going to start hitting the gym. Going to make sure I warm myself up.
This is the time. Left side only for you, big cat.
Yeah, then you hit the ground running and you're ready to go January 1st. Look what side faces the camera for us.
Yes, yes. We'll be just a swole-ass podcast.
Billy. My Zubac of the week is.
Your Zubac? Your Zubac? My who's back of the week is Tyreek Hill having a bad impact on the kids? Oh.

This Iowa State wide receiver, Amir Smith-Marset,

back flipped into the end zone and sprained his ankle,

and that was influenced –

Iowa was influenced by Tyreek Hill flipping into the end zone

for the past couple weeks, and we have an injury because of it. So he's a bad influence on the kids.
How about DK Metcalf being a bad influence too? Going into the stands, taking a cameraman's job, sat in the camera, focusing on somebody. Can't have it.
True. He showed it's not.
Can't have it. Yeah.
All right. We could switch positions.
Numbers? Numbers? 18. Eighteen.

Seven.

Do you know who's back, Jake?

Changing team names.

The Cleveland baseball team.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

Spiders, baby.

The Cleveland baseball team.

I like that, Jake.

I like the spiders.

You have a partner to dance with, BFC.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like the spiders.

The teams should get kicked out of their sport if they don't have a mascot.

Our mascot is a fucking football team, Hank.

No, it's not.

It's an embarrassment. Oh, Hank.
There's everything. Are you in the hunt? I only listen to people's opinions who are in the hunt.
You're not in the hunt. The football team is.
Big Cat's in the hunt. I'll respect his opinion.
Spiders. Until such time as when they are not in the hunt.
Who's they? The football team. You know exactly who the football team is.
I can't wait till the New Yorker writes an article in like five years being like, white supremacists have adopted old Cleveland Indians gear. Oh, and yeah, they will.
Okay, know how to spot a white supremacist? I'm in for the spiders. What about the Cleveland bronze? Ooh, the baby bronze.
Because they don't have a dub. It's just a little bronze.
And you can sell baby jerseys. Yeah.
Baby bronze. Yeah.
All right, 28. 18, 18.
46. 46.
Nine. Nine.
Go, Billy. 81.
28. But I'm not going to get it.
What? I'm trying not to get the number. Did you bring back the 69? I'm trying not to get it.
Nope. You're cursed.
100!

Oh, shit!

I didn't even know who had 100!

No, that's like on roulette. And it fell out of the thing!

Oh my god, imagine if you had gotten

100? Too many digits.

Wow!

I didn't even know that happened. What a twist

ending to this show. In the Ice Age, there

used to be beavers 8 feet tall and

200 plus pounds. Love you guys.
Big old beavers. No, dude.
I saw that. I had a great joke that I didn't use right there.
Just for the record. What? Did you also block Nate's comment on Twitter from being beavers? Oh, come on.
Oh, you did? What did Nate say? Nate called him a pussy until he blocked it. But you can realize everyone could see that.

That I hid it?

Yeah.

I don't want to fight with Nate.

What the fuck? I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway.

Today's my day to find you.

Shying away.

I'll be coming for your love of King.

Shying away.

I'll be coming for your love of King.