Booger McFarland, USC QB Kedon Slovis, And Week 14 Preview

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a two for two for Fridays, Booger McFarlane, our good friend. And then we have USC quarterback Heisman Hopeful.

Speaker 1 Maybe not this year because they didn't play enough of a season, but next year. And also future first-round draft pick, Keaton Slovis.
Part of the part of my take, QB. We're groomers.
We groom guys.

Speaker 1 We're groomers. We're QB groomers.

Speaker 1 All right, so we have both those guys. Great, great interviews.
We have a full week 14 preview. We're going to enjoy it.
We're going to sit down.

Speaker 1 We're going to let it wash over us. We're going to say to ourselves, we don't have a ton of football left, so you got to let it just, you know, capture this moment.
We have Billy Gate.

Speaker 1 We have Fire Fest of the Week. Bill Ghazi.
Bill Ghazi.

Speaker 1 We have Fantasy Fuck Boys, and much, much more. Before we do all that, part of my take is brought to you by our friend.

Speaker 3 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place behind a low-washing.

Speaker 1 And then the campaign all on the sound. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock it down to Elen Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elene Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA.
Today is Friday, December 11th. And the Patriots, Hank,

Speaker 1 are dead.

Speaker 1 Moment of silence for the Patriots dynasty. Stairway to 7, not meant to be this year.
What was the joke that the person tweeted to you?

Speaker 1 I got a bunch of jokes. A lot of comedians on Twitter.
Oh, he's going to spit out. What did you have in your mouth? A mint, a breath mint.

Speaker 1 Stairway to seven. So who are you trying to impress in this room? Stairway to seventh pick.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Someone sent me like a live look at the stairway, and it was just a stair that looked like it got bombed that you couldn't even walk upstairs. Oh.

Speaker 1 What was that one? What?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to read that. What was that one? I'm not going to read it.

Speaker 1 It's not appropriate. It's not appropriate.

Speaker 1 I was literally going through my mentors. I'm not going to read it.

Speaker 1 Did you bleep it? I actually don't want to say it. Okay.
It's kind of funny. Live look at the stairway.

Speaker 1 Stairway.

Speaker 1 What? All right, that didn't even make sense, but do bleep it because then people will have to guess. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a bad one. I know.
I was literally reading my mentor. I was about to read it.
Who is that guy really? His brain is mush. Live look at the stairway.

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick's trying to walk up it and then an owl comes down and lands on his head and murders him at the bottom like that dude's wife. Oh man, that was

Speaker 1 a tough game to watch. The Rams, I think, are very much for real.

Speaker 1 But the Patriots' offense, the Patriots' defense deserves credit because they hung in there and they played.

Speaker 1 It's very hard to play defense when your offense is that bad. But I don't know.
So, Hank, is it over? It's over. It's over.
This was a must-win. The Rams now are in full control of the NFC West.

Speaker 1 The Rams control their own destiny because although they're liable to fall a game behind Seattle, they play Seattle next week. Yes.
And so if they finish with the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so if they went out, as much as one can control their own destiny. No, they've already beaten the Seahawks, so they're actually ahead of them right now.
Okay. The Rams beat the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 Remember, Russell Wilson didn't run that time, and he threw a pet. They held him to like 16 points.
Right, but if

Speaker 1 the Seahawks win this weekend, same

Speaker 1 record. Same record.
So yeah.

Speaker 1 This is how you do playoff predictors, folks. This is what we're talking about on Monday.
None of this narrows off for the next time. But then if the Seahawks beat him next weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just get confused with your own words.

Speaker 1 But if the Seahawks beat him next weekend, then that's a problem. Correct.
So that's a problem. That's a problem.

Speaker 1 That's a problem for the Rams. So the Rams, yeah.
Although Elijah Moore can show up and piss on something, and then no one's going to be able to do it. It's their own destiny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we turned off the sound.

Speaker 1 Did Cam get benched, benched, or was it just like this game's over? I think it was this game's over. Okay.

Speaker 1 Anytime it's in the fourth quarter, you're down by 20 points. It's like you don't want Cam to get more hurt.
And that's the chatter.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 ban yellow cleats forever. We've been saying it.
Yellow cleats and yellow gloves. I've been confused about flags all night.

Speaker 1 And we also had the great visual of Bill Belichick.

Speaker 1 Like, if you had to make a prediction of the NFL in the age of COVID, I would say first pick would be Bill Belichick having very funny visuals with the masks. So he had the facehole mask that was.

Speaker 1 He was double bagging it, which can be more dangerous because then you get the friction.

Speaker 1 But the underneath mask had a mouth hole cut out.

Speaker 1 It looked like a mask that had a fleshlight on the front of it.

Speaker 1 And then he had the nurses, the healthcare professional mask on the outside of that. So it was...

Speaker 1 technically two masks, but it was the cutoffs of mask on the inside and then the hoodie on the outside.

Speaker 1 It was, yeah, so not a really great game, but Sean McVay, I would say, man, does this count as the monkey after back? I think you'd rather have the Super Bowl. Well, I mean, he killed the Dynasty.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So

Speaker 1 Mask did. But I think you'd still rather have the Super Bowl, but this probably has to feel a little bit good that he was able to beat Bill Belichick.
Fast turf, not really fast, under hit.

Speaker 1 Do you think that the fact that he now beat Bill Belichick, it replaces some of the memories? Because he's got the photographic memory. So he remembers everything about that Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 I still think you'd rather have the Super Bowl. But does it replace, like, does it move one of those memories a little bit further back?

Speaker 1 Like, if you were to ask Sean McVay a month from now, be like, so when you guys played the Patriots, would his photographic memory go immediately back to this game?

Speaker 1 Or would he go back to the Super Bowl? Damn, Cam Akers ran for 171 yards. Yeah.
Look at you. That's nice.
The Rams are a complete team. I really do think so.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 McVay is, he does trouble me a a little bit. His eyes have gotten wider this season.
Have you noticed that? Also, he did the happy-go-lucky sprint on a pick six play. I don't really know, like,

Speaker 1 Hank, you don't want Cam back on the Patriots, right?

Speaker 1 Nah. I mean,

Speaker 1 it was very telling when they got down, when it was still a game in the first quarter, maybe it was the second quarter, they got down in the red zone, and they didn't throw.

Speaker 1 Like, fourth, fourth down, they try an option play that's well guarded. It just, if you can't throw,

Speaker 1 the quarterback should be able to throw. Ideally.
Yeah. In the NFL.
The Bears have tried to win without a throwing quarterback for a very long time. Yeah.
It doesn't work. It's not good.

Speaker 1 No, it's not good. Cam, they're saying that he's injured.
They're saying he's got like an ab issue. Matthew Berry's tweet.
31 teams passed on him. The core controls your whole body.

Speaker 1 Now 32 teams will pass on this offseason.

Speaker 1 But again, a team should bring him in as just like a basically a short yardage. Let's just remember, though, because I do think we were having the discussion while we were watching the game about Cam.

Speaker 1 He did win an MVP.

Speaker 1 He was at one point a very good,

Speaker 1 great quarterback, throwing, running, doing the whole thing. His Auburn years were awesome.
So let's just remember that for a second, okay? Because we actually,

Speaker 1 I don't really know how old is Cam Newton? I don't know where, like, what his career goes, where it goes from here. Do you know what I mean? He's not that old.

Speaker 1 He's going to be 32 next year. So that's not that old.

Speaker 1 But if you're not healthy, you can't play quarterback like he. So that's the thing about Cam is like, why isn't he a great passer? It's like well, he used to be a really good passer, too.
Right.

Speaker 1 There were a few years where Cam was like lighting up.

Speaker 1 Very good. He's just like his entire game has gone downhill.
So I don't know. I think Cam Newton might retire after this year.
I don't know. I don't know, Jim.

Speaker 1 Not to pick on Hank, but the other news that we had to talk about before we get to NFL week 14, Coach K is the biggest front-running fraud of all time. Not to brag, but we called it.

Speaker 1 We have one game.

Speaker 1 Hank, they lost to Michigan State.

Speaker 1 They got killed by Illinois, and then Coach K said, we got to reassess and start really thinking about this COVID thing. And we're canceling the rest of the non-ACC.
Which is one game.

Speaker 1 Which makes it even more ridiculous because it's probably a home game.

Speaker 1 I would imagine they were going to go. Gardner Webb.
Yeah, I imagine they weren't going to Gardner Webb, Hank. Who almost upset Virginia.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, there you go. Sitting in the tournament.

Speaker 1 This is Coach K's way

Speaker 1 of basically saying, I'm putting the kids first, number one. I'm canceling Gardner Webb.
You know what he said? Hats off to Coach K.

Speaker 1 He said, we're going to give our student athletes the opportunity to go home for Christmas.

Speaker 1 But then he followed up with, now, obviously, they're not going to be home on Christmas because we'll need them back on campus before Christmas Day, but I want to give them the opportunity to be with their families slightly before Christmas for the holidays.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Coach K,

Speaker 1 I mean, there was no easier call to make ever. You knew that this moment was coming.
You knew it was coming.

Speaker 1 He was like, there are bigger things. There are more important things for me to be doing right now.

Speaker 1 you just got to look at everything have you guys ever stopped and you know looked in the mirror like a saturday or sunday and like taken a long walk and just and just wondered to yourself is there anything bigger than sports

Speaker 1 yeah there's not yeah i've tried there are and coach k knows that and he cares family safety i said health i honestly think that if we could just like get a room that we're like we had someone dress up in a mascot uniform as COVID and we're just like, Coach K, go and scold this kid for taking a three in a blowout.

Speaker 1 That would itself just let Coach K get some steam off. That's really it.
He can't coach COVID.

Speaker 1 He can't tell COVID how to win with class. Yeah, do you think? So he's stuck.
Do you think he's going to do anything with the players on team, like take away the Ds on their uniform? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember that?

Speaker 1 That was an all-time

Speaker 1 moment. He literally makes them play naked.
He's going to teach them life lessons, more importantly, than anything else. Man, all right, yeah, but that was.

Speaker 1 I mean, come on, Hank. Just do a little truth, Serum for a second.

Speaker 1 It was bad timing. Optically.

Speaker 1 Optically.

Speaker 1 Given his history and his past

Speaker 1 and, you know, the way this season has gone.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Bad optics.
Optics were bad. Optics were bad.

Speaker 1 It was a bad visual. Yes, bad visual.

Speaker 1 No disrespect to families, but that's how you should have started that whole press conference. Like, you know what, Coach K?

Speaker 1 What about all the families that get tremendous joy around the holidays watching you beat the shit out of Gardner Webb at home? You think about those families? Yes, yes, I would have bet that game.

Speaker 1 I would have bet on Gardner Webb, but I still was robbed. Why don't you think about those people, Coach? Yeah.
All right, let's get to our week 14 preview. We're going to go through every game.

Speaker 1 A little fun fact before, you know, I know it's been a tough beginning for me. First time the Patriots won't have a 10-win season since 2002.

Speaker 1 Damn, that's crazy. That actually is crazy.
That's the first grade. That's the reverse Browns.
Yeah. So it's, you know, it's sad, but it's also like when you look at that.
That's insane.

Speaker 1 That's insane. Damn.
So 18 years. That's insane.
Yeah, I was. 18 years.

Speaker 1 I was in second grade. Do you know how old you are? I don't even know.
How old are you, Hank? 27.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. All right.
Let's get to our weekend preview.

Speaker 1 Wait, where the... Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. When's your birthday? I thought you were older than me.
Yeah. No, I was born in January.
You're in September, right? When's your birthday, Hank? June, June. I'm 27, so I'm hanging it out.

Speaker 1 Oh, chilling.

Speaker 1 One thing, though, before we get into the week, the entire week preview, Hank sent a very funny text before the game started. And

Speaker 1 it was just a picture of Gunnar Oshawa. How do you say his last name? Gunnar Oshoveski?

Speaker 1 It was just a picture of him walking into the stadium wearing a wife beater. And I was trying to figure out why he sent that to us.
And you were just like, he looks like he'd be like one of your guys.

Speaker 1 It's right up your alley, PFG. You like weird fucking guys and weird people.
It is true.

Speaker 1 You like white guys on the Patriots more than Bill Bella. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 He looks like Kid Rock. Yeah.
That's what it is. He looks like Kid Rock.
He looks like the long hair, the wife beater. He looks like Kid Rock.
That's what Hank was getting.

Speaker 1 Kid Rock and Dave Grohl mixed together. Old Sheffield.
Ultimate Rock star. Ol Shefsky.
Do you think any kid named Gunner ever got a fair shake from their teacher?

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think like day one, you get a kid named Gunner in your class.
You're like front row at the right next to my desk. Yeah.
And maybe with an A, but an E is a little different. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was it was it? Was there a Gunner and Mighty Ducks? Yeah, Goon Rock. Oh, that's back, by the way.
What? It's a foreshadowing to.

Speaker 1 Put the fucking mint out of your mouth. Get the mint out of your mouth.
Oh, yeah. I thought we were moving on.

Speaker 1 They're coming out with a TV show. Amelia Westvez and the woman, the mom.
Oh, it's the girl from Gilmore Girls. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yes, we're familiar with the Gilmore Girls. Lorelai.
The mom or

Speaker 1 Lorelei. Lore.

Speaker 1 Not Rory. Not Rory.
Okay. Emilio.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, no, Mighty Ducks is back, I guess. All right.
Okay. Is it one from dead? That's good.

Speaker 1 No, what's his name?

Speaker 1 He was really bad.

Speaker 1 I think he was addicted to stuff. Goldberg.

Speaker 1 Okay, but he's back. Maybe.
Okay.

Speaker 1 No. No, I don't think he's back.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to

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All right, week 14.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna have to do it, boys. I'm gonna have to do it.
Everyone needs to take a second, take a mental snapshot, take a deep breath, realize that we're in the home stretch, okay?

Speaker 1 We have played more football than we have football left. Big cat, get your fours up.
Get your fours up. Get your fours up as fans.
All right, it's not crunching time. This is gaining time.

Speaker 1 This is the moment. I preach it all the time.
At the end of the season, just take a second for yourself. Take it right now.
Close your eyes, unless you're driving.

Speaker 1 If you're driving, maybe even still close your eyes. Take a deep breath in

Speaker 1 breathe it out through your mouth in through your nose out through your mouth in through your nose out through your mouth one more

Speaker 1 remember this moment this is week 14 We only have a few weeks left, and then we have playoffs, and then it is just a countdown to less and less football games. Remember this moment.
Cherish it.

Speaker 1 Make sure that you are on the couch all Sunday. Make sure you are watching every football game there is because come February, there is no football and you will have none to watch.
Okay.

Speaker 1 week 14. I'm very excited for this week.
This is a huge, huge week for playoffs.

Speaker 1 It's some good games, some big spread games, a great Sunday night game, pretty much everything you want in a football schedule. Let's go through it.

Speaker 1 We will start with a game I think we're all very interested in. Chiefs, Dolphins.
Are the Dolphins for real? No.

Speaker 1 No, they're not.

Speaker 1 I don't think that they can do what they did to the 49ers, the Chiefs. Correct.

Speaker 1 So the Dolphins,

Speaker 1 they're part of the can't-lose parlay, which is going to have extra boosted odds because we keep losing it. So

Speaker 1 they're going to kick it in this week, Penn is.

Speaker 1 Miami, all they do is Blitz. Patrick Mahomes, all he does is be literally the best quarterback against the Blitz, according to QBR, since they started the stat.

Speaker 1 So I don't think that's a great... a great combo, not to mention Hank, remember a little old thing we talked about last year?

Speaker 1 Turnover luck miami's number one in that especially who doesn't turn it over patrick mahomes so uh i i at least hope that we get a little bit of andy reid breaking out the tommy bahama this weekend because it is going to be in miami that's as close as he's going to get to being in a tropical environment we didn't didn't get to see him at the coaches meeting because of covet last year um wear the guillabara shirt on the sideline they should make like a hawaiian shirt for coaches in team colors to wear well just specifically for andy reed actually but uh i think that kansas city is going to dominate but if you're miami like it comes down to the age-of-quest question: like, how do you stop Patrick Mahomes?

Speaker 1 Do you make him drift, right? You make him flush. Well, they're going to blitz him, they're going to blitz him, but he's not going to win.

Speaker 1 But then they blitz him, and then he picks you apart on the backside. Correct.
He is literally the best quarterback, according to QBR, since they started the stat against the Blitz.

Speaker 1 I'm actually more interested to see how Tua does in a big game. I do not think the Dolphins will win, but Tua, can he play a little bit toe-for-toe? Can he hang in a game like this?

Speaker 1 That will be a big test for Miami. Also, we're going to get some nice flashbacks to the Super Bowl because that's where this was played.
So, last time they were here,

Speaker 1 we anointed our new king.

Speaker 1 Some fun little cut-ins like that. I do like this uniform matchup, too.

Speaker 1 I feel like, even though the Dolphins' uniforms are candy ass, as we've said many times on the show, the candy assness goes away a little bit when Tu is wearing it. Yes.

Speaker 1 When Tu is wearing it, it looks like natural. I agree.
It's cool. I agree.
When Fitzpatrick is leading the team, it does look like it's kind of like a pastel cartoon-type color palette.

Speaker 1 It's also not candy ass at home. It's not candy ass at home.
On the road, it is candy ass, especially in December. When they play cold and

Speaker 1 it's the Dolphins jersey, it is the definition of candy ass. All right, we're all in agreement there.
Cowboys Bengals.

Speaker 1 Hank, chime in if you have any money lines you love because there are some big spreads. Candy Dalton Revenge game.
Candy Dalton Revenge. This is going to be huge.

Speaker 1 He's going to have a chip on his shoulder going back.

Speaker 1 I think I'm back on the Cowboys. This game stinks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Cowboys are probably going going to win this game, but holy shit, does this game stink? Have we been underestimating Brandon Allen?

Speaker 1 No, I think we just totally

Speaker 1 overestimate. You have to ask that question.
Yes, maybe overestimating him.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, who cares?

Speaker 1 Texans, Bears.

Speaker 1 Guess what is the easiest?

Speaker 1 I swear to God, PFT, if for some reason we just lost our jobs tomorrow, we could start a new media company and just every single day write a different article about how the Bears passed on Watson and Mahomes to draft Mitch Mitch Trubisky because it is instant retweets.

Speaker 1 It's instant clicks. It is instant.
Oh my God, can you believe this? This week it was Watson saying, I can't believe the Bears didn't talk to me.

Speaker 1 I'm over it. Whatever.
I'm not over it. I will never get over it.
It's one of those things you'll never get over, but I'm over it totally. You know who else the Bears passed on? Who? Bill O'Brien.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Suck it.
Do you know what someone actually tweeted me? The only team to not pass on DK Metcalf, the Chicago Bears. Okay.
That's pretty good. Yeah.
They didn't have a draft. That's nice.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so this will just be storylines, glory. We'll get the,

Speaker 1 it's never going to go away. I mean, if it was.
It's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I will be on my deathbed being like, holy shit, Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watts.

Speaker 1 If it wasn't for that, then this would be a who cares game, too. Oh, I think it still is a who cares game.
I am so happy.

Speaker 1 The only thing that's good about the rest of this Bears season for me is that they've stashed every single game away on Sunday at noon/slash one o'clock. That's it.

Speaker 1 You can just stash it away and pretend it didn't happen. J.J.
Watt is going to make a couple big plays, and he might let you personally know about it after this game. By the way,

Speaker 1 talk about a perfectly balanced, perfect slate, Hank. We have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven games in the daytime, and then six in the four o'clock window, and then a Sunday night.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. And I think it's like two at four and four at 4:30.
Right, I like it. Because we have no more buys, so we get the full, full slate,

Speaker 1 but it's great. It's going to be chaos at all times.
Wait, I know how you feel about the afternoon being, you know, the day being bottom-heavy. Is six games too much for you for the afternoon?

Speaker 1 Because that's the vibe I was getting from both of you guys last time. Well, yeah.
I'm of the mindset where I'm okay with six games.

Speaker 1 I would prefer eight and five, but I could take a double witching hour. I could take six in the afternoon as long as there isn't five to start.

Speaker 1 That was my biggest, the biggest gripe is you need the witching hour, that chaos. Like, remember last week when it was just chaos everywhere, and it wasn't even good games.
It was just chaos. Right.

Speaker 1 You need that seven games to get the full chaos.

Speaker 1 Here's what I need in the afternoon slate: I want two premiere games that I can be watching the entire time, and the rest is like you know, icing on the cake a little bit.

Speaker 1 We don't so we don't really have that.

Speaker 1 Well, you have your Washington football team, Washington football team, San Francisco. I think most of the country would agree that that's probably not a premiere game, and that's fine.

Speaker 1 The NFC Beast is a acquired taste. All right, let's get there.
We'll get there. All right, so Cardinals Giants is the next game on the list.

Speaker 1 So weeks one through nine, Kyler Murray, when he was, we were all talking about MVP. Watch out for Kyler Murray.
He was seventh in efficiency. Since then, since week 10, he is exactly

Speaker 1 the quarterback in front of him is Cam Newton. The quarterback behind him is Drew Locke.

Speaker 1 So, whoops. Not great.
Kyler Murray, for some reason to me,

Speaker 1 he's not an East Coast quarterback. He doesn't feel like an East Coast guy.

Speaker 1 That's my most Colin Coward take of the week.

Speaker 1 He feels like he should be playing always in the afternoon, usually in the sun somewhere.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he's cut out to beat these New York football Giants. They're on a roll.
I am rooting for the Giants. Okay.

Speaker 1 But here's the other thing is Daniel Jones, you see the story where it's like the Giants can't trust Daniel Jones' own analysis of his injury. No shit.

Speaker 1 Daniel Jones is definitely going to, he is absolutely one of those guys who will say, I can play at all times because he's just kind of too not dumb, but like, I just think all he does is play football.

Speaker 1 Well, I think that he grew up always listening to his coaches. Right.
Always, and he never wants to disappoint his coach. And so to him, being injured is a disappointment.
He's a good judge.

Speaker 1 And so he knows that coaches like to hear, put me in. Yes.
Not because he actually, really, really has a burning desire to always play,

Speaker 1 but because I think he thinks that Joe Judge will think less of him if he's hurt as a man, which he might. He absolutely will.
So, yeah, I think he's going to play. He's going to be less than 100%.

Speaker 1 I do still like the Giants, though. I don't know why they're giving up three points at home.
Well, Colt McCoy, and it's also one and a half. But yes, Colt McCoy.

Speaker 1 It's gone down to one and a half. I've got a three right now.
Colt McCoy would probably be be the answer. It would be my guess.

Speaker 1 Colt McCoy, because you kind of forget, like, oh, yeah, Colt McCoy is the quarterback. Maybe.
And people still buy the fucking. I don't know why they still buy it.
Oh, it went back to three.

Speaker 1 It's been all over.

Speaker 1 I don't know why people still buy Kyler Murray and Cliff Kingsbury right now because they are broken. But I guess that's just going to keep happening.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I will stand up for a short king on most occasions. It's just weird when a head coach is taller than his quarterback.
Yes. It just gives off a peewee vibe.

Speaker 1 All right, Vikings, Bucs. The Bucs are going to annihilate the Vikings.
When you look at the Vikings, they're 6-6. Everyone's had their little moment where they're like, watch out for the Vikings.

Speaker 1 And then you, oh, that's going to be your money line? All right. One of.
Really?

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, let me just throw this out there.
The

Speaker 1 Bucs, their losses this year have come against very good defenses. They've lost to the Saints twice.
They lost to the Rams.

Speaker 1 They lost to the Bears when the Bears were still playing defense and playing a good defense. And they lost to who was the last loss? The Chiefs, who they

Speaker 1 were their defense, yeah, I mean, they were out 100 points to start the game. Those are really good teams minus the Bears, but the Bears were still playing defense back then.

Speaker 1 It's also a matchup of strengths here at quarterback position because you got Kirk Cousins who can't play at night, and Tom Brady, who also can't play at night.

Speaker 1 They'll probably hang out after the game, hit the goal and corral for the early birds special, go home, be in bed by 8 p.m.

Speaker 1 1 p.m. is a perfect time slot for Tom Brady this year, obviously.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go to my deathbed saying this: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the most talented team in the NFL. Yeah, that's the line.

Speaker 1 Hank, can I talk you out of it with a couple stats? Yes, please. Brady off of by since 2010 is 7-3.

Speaker 1 The Minnesota Vikings want to run the ball. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have been number one against the run in the last year and a half.
I would be very worried about that. Also, a visual game.

Speaker 1 Kirk Cousins, grass stains, maybe a little warm. He's looking a little extra short.
He gets sacked a couple times. You don't want that.
You don't want that.

Speaker 1 Tom Brady's going to get... The Bucs have killed bad defenses.
They killed the Packers, bad defense. They killed the Panthers twice.
They killed the Raiders. The Vikings are a lower half defense.

Speaker 1 I think the Bucs are going to kill him, and everyone's going to be like, ooh, watch out for the Bucs. There are a lot of mega churches in Tampa, Florida, too.
Billy was about to ask that.

Speaker 1 I looked it up.

Speaker 1 I don't really know how many there are, but the first thing that popped up was a list of the top 10 best mega churches in Tampa, Florida.

Speaker 1 So to me, that implies that there are many, many mega churches. Many churches.
Many mega churches. Kirk Cousins, we've established that's not a great environment for them.
I like the Buccaneers, too.

Speaker 1 They're in the can't lose parlay. All right, next up, Broncos, Panthers.
These two teams are 64 and 88 since they met in the Super Bowl in 2015. Not so good.
No.

Speaker 1 Isn't it kind of weird to think that they played in the Super Bowl? Business decision game. Not that long ago.
Like, it really wasn't that long ago. It was five years ago.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And is it time to ask, like, did Cam Newton, not talking to the media after the game, curse him? You know, we pay his salary by coming up with these storylines. And Peyton Manning retiring.

Speaker 1 He never bounced back. Yeah.
Probably. Maybe.
So, yeah, Carolina Denver.

Speaker 1 Matt Rule said something today about Christian McCaffrey, which makes me believe that he is starting to think that maybe they shouldn't have given Christian McCaffrey that mega bucks extension.

Speaker 1 Well, technically, did Matt Rule give it to him? Yeah, yeah. That was like one of the first things that happened.

Speaker 1 And I was saying when it did happen, like, this is a classic new coach move

Speaker 1 to ingratiate himself to the franchise, to lost Luke Keek. To the fans, you lose Luke Keekly.

Speaker 1 You have to walk in the door and say, like, this is my guy here. Yeah.
If you're a first-time head coach. And Christian was his guy.

Speaker 1 I think Matt Ruhl has kind of learned that

Speaker 1 he can win.

Speaker 1 Also, it's got to be kind of like, it has to be a little frustrating to be Christian McCaffrey's coach, knowing that every week you have to come up with all these different cool ways to get him the ball because he's so good.

Speaker 1 Yes. And the defense is just keying in on him, and you know he's going to get injured again.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. I don't really know who to pick on that game.
I'd say Panthers, maybe.

Speaker 1 I'm taking the Panthers because they said that Blake Bortles has been spending most of his time outside of the facility. They're having him as a virtual quarterback for the most part.

Speaker 1 The best part of Blake Bortles is having him around the guys. Right, right.
But that's probably good for Blake Bortles not being able to purchase dip. Yeah, also that.
Titans Titans Jags.

Speaker 1 I don't know how, I don't know why, but this game just feels like it's going to be a million points, and it's going to come down to the witching hour. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 It just feels that way because this game shouldn't. The Titans should be able to dominate, but I don't know.
It's just a weird matchup. Both defenses kind of stink.

Speaker 1 It's going to be chaos back and forth. Mike Glennon.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for it. Play this game in England.
Yes. That's all I'm going to say.
Play this game in England. All right.
Afternoon slate. Good afternoon slate.
Well, not great, but good.

Speaker 1 Colts Raiders, the first one. So this is truly a loser-leave talent game.
Yeah. Because so, according to the ESPN playoff predictor, the Colts right now are 39% chance to make the playoffs.

Speaker 1 If they win, they go to over 75% chance. The Raiders are 42%, or sorry, the Colts would gain 39%

Speaker 1 to over 75% chance to make the playoffs. Big Cornaki.
The Raiders would gain 42% chance to just under 75% chance of making the playoffs.

Speaker 1 So the winner basically is in the playoffs, and the loser is going to be in a lot of trouble. I'm looking forward to this game.
This is going to be one of my favorite games to watch of the week.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be a shitload of points scored, and

Speaker 1 I'm leaning towards Vegas in this one. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll say that. I'm leaning towards Vegas.
I would not put either team in your can't-lose parlay, but no. This is going to be like the crown jewel of the afternoon.
Jets Seahawks.

Speaker 1 Keith Rivers and Derek Carr in the fourth quarter. Very animated.
Yeah. Weird quarterbacks.
They're probably going to yell at each other.

Speaker 1 Jets Seahawks,

Speaker 1 who Seahawks are going to kill.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think so. Shout out to the Jets who nominated a guy for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award, a guy who was cut by the Jets, who's no longer on the team.

Speaker 1 How about Miles Garrett? Yeah, Miles Garrett Gannett. That's kind of like a mini comeback player of the year.
Yeah, Time Magazine should do a comeback person of the year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Miles Garrett would probably have a strong case for that. Miles Garrett.
If you're the guy that is no longer on the Jets and also got nominated for Walter Payton Man of the Year,

Speaker 1 that's like the best of both worlds for that guy.

Speaker 1 You are truly living your best life for you. You are.
Jamal Adams is going to do something in this game. Revenge game.

Speaker 1 Did you see Jamal Adams was mad that they lost to the Giants because it's a New York team? Yeah. So think about what would happen if they lost to the Jets.

Speaker 1 All right. Saints, Eagles.

Speaker 1 Fun fact, Jalen Hurts has only been an underdog in one single game in his career, dating back to high school. And in that game, they lost 63 to 28.
So you got to kind of hammer the Saints. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was the LSU, Oklahoma semifinal game last year. Oh, that was a good one.

Speaker 1 So that clearly is statistically, that's a trend, PFT. It is.
We can put a finger on that. The underdog, he got smoked.
And the overhit. And the overhit.
Yeah, so there's another trend.

Speaker 1 The under is 43 right now, so I'll take the over on that one easily. Fuck,

Speaker 1 I want to take the Eagles in this game just because

Speaker 1 I always stupidly bet on quarterbacks making their very first starts.

Speaker 1 I love betting on quarterbacks and head coaches that nobody's ever seen before because in my dumb brain, it's like, well, there's not that much tape out there on Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 1 But in reality, there's a shitload of tape of Jalen Hurts. But NFL guys, they don't pay attention to the college game.
They started running the read option three years ago. Right.

Speaker 1 And people were like, holy shit, what is this sorcery? Yes.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 my stupid part of my brain is telling me to bet on the Eagles. And I don't have a smart part of my my brain, but if I did, it would be saying bet on the Saints.

Speaker 1 The Saints are in the can't lose parlay. Next up, Packers, Lions.
Aaron Rodgers, 16-5, all-time against the Lions.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Without Kenny Galladay, I think he's not going to go again.

Speaker 1 I just don't think. I don't think the ⁇ I think this is going to be ⁇ the only way the Packers lose this game is if they're sleepwalking.

Speaker 1 But you've got to remember, too, the Packers, the Chiefs play the Saints next week, and the Packers can still get the one seed. And that one seed is everything this year.

Speaker 1 I love the new new playoff format. I hope they keep it

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 it does feel like there's not going to be as many letdown spots for the top teams, knowing that the Chiefs can't lose to the Dolphins. The Packers can't lose to the Lions.

Speaker 1 It just feels like teams are going to be a little bit more game at the end of the season.

Speaker 1 Can an interim head coach get fired? Has that ever happened? Well, he's 1-0. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 the way I would do it, if I were the Detroit Lions, I would say the job is yours until you lose. And then next man off.
Ride the hot hand. Yeah, exactly.
Ride the hot hand until it's not hot anymore.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, I like Green Bay, obviously,

Speaker 1 but I think I like the Lions in this game.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 The Packers are in the can't lose parlay. It would be a shame.
Falcons and Chargers.

Speaker 1 These teams deserve each other.

Speaker 1 They deserve each other.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to tune in until the fourth quarter because shit's going to get wild. They deserve each other.
They are so, so similar in their ineptitude.

Speaker 1 Although the Falcons are a little bit more professional professional-looking with Raheem Morris, I feel like they don't make as many Falcon-y mistakes.

Speaker 1 Big Cat, did you not hear Anthony Lynn earlier this week? Yeah, he invoked Pearl Harbor. He said, Listen, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Speaker 1 And you know what? A lot of people thought that things were bad then, but then it got a lot better afterwards. Like the next three years, hundreds of thousands of people died.
Yeah, right. World War.

Speaker 1 That kicked ass. Yeah, so if anything tells you

Speaker 1 after the Patriots beat them 45-0, we're on the brink of World War III. We're on the brink of World War III.

Speaker 1 And then maybe like five years from now, then the Chargers will be better, which might make sense. The Chargers, you know how people say they're a couple pieces away from being great? Always.

Speaker 1 Love their roster. Always love the roster of the Chargers, no matter what.
The Chargers feel like they're two head coaches away from being great. Yes.

Speaker 1 So whoever they hire next is going to be a shithead. And then somehow they'll luck into the coach they get after that.
Yes, yes, I'd agree with that.

Speaker 1 All right, last up.

Speaker 1 for the Sunday afternoon slate, Washington football team at the Niners.

Speaker 1 I actually think the Washington football team, I like them in this game, PFT. I like them, too.
The only thing that concerns me is Kyle Shanahan

Speaker 1 hates Dan Snyder.

Speaker 1 Absolutely cannot stand Dan Snyder. He's got some trick plays he's been holding back.
Yes, he's got a lot. Greg Kittle is not playing, I hope.
I don't know. Not because I hope he's injured, but

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 1 I hope he's looking out for his future

Speaker 1 and opting out of this game. Yes.
It's going to be played in Arizona, which will be weird. But

Speaker 1 my heart says go with a football team. And my dick says take the over.
Oh, so Nick Mullins. Let's go.
Late in the game. He's an over machine.
I feel like this is 35 to 20 football team.

Speaker 1 Okay, Steelers at Bills, Sunday night football, going to be great. I had the idea of we need to just

Speaker 1 get one of those.

Speaker 1 low-flying planes and just spray the entire city of Buffalo in vaccine. That would be nice.
Because I know you were talking, like, let's get him vaccinated.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's what everyone goes to their front lawn and we just do it that way. Yeah, it's either give everybody the vaccine there first as first responders or actually there are

Speaker 1 Bills fans are essential workers.

Speaker 1 I'll just say Bills fans during during December, Bills fans are essential workers.

Speaker 1 They make my Sundays that much better watching them before the game, seeing the videos on Twitter, seeing them in the stands during the game, having Josh Allen try to throw a ball out of the stadium.

Speaker 1 He can't try to throw a ball out of a stadium when there's nobody there. That's not fun.
It would be great if Cuomo did one of his press conferences with this slideshow and it said, like, vaccines.

Speaker 1 Number one,

Speaker 1 hospital workers. Number two, guys named Joe, Paul, Bill, and like Troy, who live in western New York and own a pair of Zubas.
Number three, essential workers. Or yeah, number two, Pinto Ron.

Speaker 1 Number three, all those guys.

Speaker 1 I said this on Twitter yesterday because the Bills were like debuting. They're going color rush, by the way.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 get your underwear in order.

Speaker 1 I would absolutely love to see Bills play in Zubas. Yes.
And for the Color Rush? Of course. Why has that not happened yet? Of course.
Billy just, I think Billy just nutted over there.

Speaker 1 That would be so awesome. It would be so, so

Speaker 1 it doesn't have to be like full Zubas because I understand that would probably

Speaker 1 fuck. It would probably make some people weak stomachs.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the stripe in the pants.

Speaker 1 Or the buffalo on the helmet. Yes.

Speaker 1 Do it. Oh, my God.
Do it.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I'm very much looking forward to. I think the Bills are going to crush them, actually.

Speaker 4 This is the first Sunday night game in Buffalo since 07. The Patriots played them in 07.

Speaker 1 Final score, 56-10 pats. Ooh, I was going to say, ah, because it sucks that there's not fans.

Speaker 1 Mike Tomlin has an underdogs, 18-6

Speaker 1 against the spread since 2015. Something to look out for.

Speaker 1 I do feel like that is the steeler way that Mike Tomlin, if they're big favorites, if they feel like they're playing an inferior opponent, they usually come out flat.

Speaker 1 When they're in a spot where it feels like the whole world's against them, they answer the bell.

Speaker 1 All right, that is. Do we know what day of the week the Ravens are playing on yet? Monday.
Is that solidified? It's the Browns. Ravens,

Speaker 1 they just don't play at normally scheduled times.

Speaker 1 Never. All right, so the can't lose parlay, like I said, it has been losing.
I'll be fully fully admit that. We're going to try to get it as boosted as we can, but it's Seahawks, Bucs, Saints, Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Billy, you want to explain what you got?

Speaker 1 Billy has a five 32 outcomes. Well, there's 32 outcomes, and this week, I think it's 20 of them have positive outcomes.
You got to check it out.

Speaker 1 Why don't you get rid of the ones that have negative outcomes? Because that's impossible. Because if I could,

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking with common sense here.

Speaker 1 So, you know, it's very hard to explain. There's about five different bets.
Okay. But to make it basic, we're depending a lot on the Broncos to win this week.
It was hinging on the Lions last week.

Speaker 1 The Broncos are everything for you. Kind of.
Okay. So we'll see.
That's never a mark of a good system. No.
No. That's a problem.
That is a big-time problem, Billy, and you know it.

Speaker 1 I hope you make a lot of money. I actually like the can't-lose parlay this week.
Yeah, I will see. I don't think you can lose.
No, I don't think he can lose. Say those teams again?

Speaker 1 Seahawks, Bucks, Saints, Chiefs. The only one I'm.
No, actually, I'm not nervous about any of them. So the Packers, I misspoke, is not in it.
Seahawks, Bucks, Saints, Chiefs.

Speaker 1 If you want to do the deluxe, can't lose parlay.

Speaker 1 We're going to get it boosted. Tossing the Titans.
We're going to get it boosted. Ooh.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, that's the deluxe version. That's not on the list.
We're going to get it boosted, so you don't even need to do the deluxe. I'll get it boosted.

Speaker 1 I've got a couple things coming on the Barcelona Sportsbook app.

Speaker 1 We're doing the Jameis Winston hat-trick bet again, where over one and a half quarterbacks to throw for a touchdown, an interception, and a fumble. Fumble lost.

Speaker 1 That hit easily last week with all the weird quarterbacks we have. And then I've also got

Speaker 1 the bird alert. You can bet on how many bird teams are going to win this week.
And we're also, I think we're doing an NFC Beast bet, too. Nice.

Speaker 1 How many NFC East teams are going to win? I think that's set at one and a half. So check it out on the Barcelon Sportsbook app, 1-800 Gambler.

Speaker 1 If you've got a problem, what are you going to say, Billy? You can find the whole spreadsheet with all the bets at pardonmytake.net.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that? That's not true, Billy. You built a whole new website? Yeah.
You haven't been doing anything of your job. None of your job.

Speaker 1 I'm a big domain owner of our IT. I know a lot of Russians about this.
Yeah, I have a lot of real estate in our IT IT.

Speaker 1 So, did you maybe see that Bryce Hall had the same idea as you a couple months ago? Who? Okay, good answer. Wait.

Speaker 1 Wait, why? Why did you do? You made a website.

Speaker 1 You just made a website about it today.

Speaker 1 To make a website for what?

Speaker 1 No, he didn't have an idea to make a website. You know exactly where this is Billy trying to lie and not and trying to clumsily redirect the conversation.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Bryce Hall had the idea of like, let's make a website where people can fight each other to see who can fight me. Really? I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 I have no idea. I have no idea.
And then what's up with why you want to fight Sir Yacht? Well, Sir Yacht, no, not Sur Yacht.

Speaker 1 Brawl Paul.

Speaker 1 BrawlHall.com.net. But who's Bryce Hall, I thought? Bryce Hall is a TikToker who pissed off her boss.
You know him. So

Speaker 1 who is... So, Sir Yatt, did you happen to see that Sir Yacht's been challenging Jake Paul to a fight for like four months? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was kind of like

Speaker 1 this dude.

Speaker 1 I might fight Sir Yacht. But he was the one who started tweeting at Jake Paul.
Fight list is... He's just avoiding my questions now.
He's just totally avoiding it.

Speaker 1 He had it exactly right. Yeah, Sir Yacht is almost exactly right.
It's pretty funny to think that like Billy...

Speaker 1 How Billy would like to sell the fight against Sir Yacht. It's like, I want to fight this guy because he wants to fight the same guy I want to fight.
Yeah, Billy is

Speaker 1 like our...

Speaker 1 he's our kid that he thinks that we don't have the ability to check the history on the internet. Yeah, he thinks we have to.
He looks at porn and then and then he's like, I deleted it all. I'm good.

Speaker 1 And then we go log on the computer and we're like, Billy is a good person.

Speaker 1 Billy thinks that we have a different internet than he has. He thinks that we don't have the same Twitter.com.
You know what it is?

Speaker 1 Billy is ageist. Billy thinks we're so old we don't know who these people are.
But you've never seen TikTok. Yeah, so you think.
So you had no idea who Trace McSorley was before. 27.

Speaker 1 I never watched a Penn State. Yeah, but you didn't know he was such a big deal until I told you.
What the fuck are you talking about? Big cat, you didn't know. You didn't know how swaggy he was.

Speaker 1 Dude, Tracy McShorley ripped my heart out in Indianapolis four years ago when you were still in your diapers.

Speaker 1 I wasn't. Okay.
You were. Yeah.
You wore diapers your first year as an intern here. No, I didn't.

Speaker 1 All right, cut that. I had a couple.

Speaker 1 My bad. I forgot to say that.

Speaker 1 All right,

Speaker 1 let's do fantasy fuck boys and let's get to Booger. And we have Keaton Slovis from USC, starting quarterback.

Speaker 1 We're entering him into the part of my take team because he's going to be the number one pick in a couple years. Let's do fancy fuck boys.
Yeah, QB room. All right, ready? Go.
Yah, dude.

Speaker 1 What's up, boys?

Speaker 1 What up? How's it going?

Speaker 1 It's gonna be a spelling salt. Get the fucking salts out.
Hold on.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Here we go.
Double fisting. Boom.
Boom. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Snorted. Oh,

Speaker 1 Christopher. It's Janos Malignanados.
Yeah, Gianos Malignananos. Which means he started him this week.
It's Ryan Tannehill. Yeah.
Last time I told you to start him, it was against the Jags.

Speaker 1 What'd he do? Threw four touchdowns. Who's he playing this week? The Jags.
He's going to go off again if you got him for the playoff. Put him on your team.
He's a great quarterback in Florida.

Speaker 1 That's for sure.

Speaker 1 Do it.

Speaker 1 And my sleeper

Speaker 1 is Billy. He got caught for plagiarism.
He might be got the hot seat big time. I also didn't write down a cinema.
Plagiarized. I don't know where it went.

Speaker 1 All right. Wait, my sleeper is nerds.
Fuck them.

Speaker 1 Disney Plus came out with like 500 new fucking Star Wars shows today. Every character that's ever existed is getting a show.
Nerds are going to be sleeping good, knowing that.

Speaker 1 It should all be Baby Yoda. All Baby Yoda all the time.
Baby Yoda channel. Check it out.
What's up, fuckheads? This is Nunzio Campanelli. You've done it in sleeping fantasy.

Speaker 1 I'm Nunzio, you motherfucker.

Speaker 1 I'm Sean Taylor Swift. Taylor,

Speaker 1 I'm gonna let you finish. Oh, shit.
I didn't know you had another album. She drops an album at midnight.
Taylor Swift. Love listening to her write songs about how she thinks that 17-year-olds feel.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yes.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting Paul George. PG-13.
Got the bag. Big playoff P.
He's got two first names. He's got zero last chances left.
That's my startup. This guy sucks.

Speaker 1 He's signed with the Clippers because he's going to get cut. Yeah.
Fuck PG-13. All right, I got it.
You didn't take my whole thing, so that's good. My sleeper? Yeah.
I'm sleeping Chris Carson.

Speaker 1 My sleep is Chris Carson asleep. Nice.
Russell Wilson is overcooked. He cooked too much.
Time to order some Grubhub. Seamless in Seattle.
Feed Chris Carson the Rock. Let Chris eat.
Yes, let him eat.

Speaker 1 All right, what up, guys? It's Frankie Fettuccine. My stardom is playoff P as well.
Playoff P because playoff P said he got his trainer back to his MVP form.

Speaker 1 Playoff P's never won an MVP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love it. He's finished top 10 twice in his entire career.
I love it. He's fucking delusional.
He's a little bit of crazy in VP. I thought I was going crazy

Speaker 1 in my head. I almost spoke Spanish there, my bad, my cabeza.
I thought I was going local into Cabeza because I was like, when did Playoff P win an MVP? Oh, yeah, he did.

Speaker 1 All you guys do is you just drop the last valid. You just say crazy in my cabeza.
Cabeza. My cabeza.

Speaker 1 All right, if I sit him as Bob Costas. Everyone thought he was on Twitter.
He's not on Twitter. Bob Costas hates Twitter.
Bob Costas would never be on Twitter. Also,

Speaker 1 that wasn't Pinkot. You'd have to be a real shithead to fall for that trick.
Holy shit. Can you just we'll say about it after.
All right, my sleeper is Josh Josh Pastner.

Speaker 1 He did the Georgia Tech coach. He had a confetti ball

Speaker 1 that looked like COVID, and it was the most awkward thing ever.

Speaker 1 Piñata? Piñata. They smashed it.
A piñat. A piñat.

Speaker 1 A piñat. How we doing? It's Ricky Romero.
My stardom is Jack Harlow's new album. I haven't listened to it yet, but if it's you listened to this on Friday, then you would have last night.

Speaker 1 And my other stardom is Broncos Defense because McCaffrey's out. And my sitem is potato salad.
If you like that shit, just stop fucking around and eat Mayo directly out of the pecan. Pussy.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is Papa John. What the fuck has that sick fuck been up to? I want him under 24-7 surveillance.
You're not papa blessed. God.
He's a good, honest, fake Italian. You're not my fucking father.

Speaker 1 You know he's not Italian, right? John Schnada. John Schnadder.

Speaker 1 He's one of the germs. Yeah, germs.

Speaker 1 You can't trust those guys. They fooled us back in the 1930s.

Speaker 1 Is that it? Yeah. All right.
We got to clean up some things. One, playoff P.
Literally did say that. He's like, I'm back to my MVP form.
I thought

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 seeing things i was like wait did he win a playoff did he win mvp no two

Speaker 1 you guys can come up with new names okay

Speaker 1 i was giving respect to one of the

Speaker 1 legend of the fantasy fuckboys rutger's legend nunzio also i like fettuccine alfredo yeah and and i just adding on to what hank said about espn plus and the disney plus thing uh you let you buried the lead on this one hank because espn is starting a new show in january it's a new daily morning program on ESPN Plus that will recap the previous night's sports action, which goes deep on news, highlights, and trending topics.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Can you believe that?

Speaker 1 Can you believe that? That's going to be crazy. It's Get Up the sequel? It's like Sports Center mixed with Get Up.

Speaker 1 I hope it's hosted by Mike Greenberg. I'm excited.
And Mike Greenberg might do this show during commercial breaks for Get Up.

Speaker 1 He just might pull a webcam in front of his face and start his own new show. Yes.
All right. So the other one we had to clean up.
All right, Bob Costas.

Speaker 1 It's just, we need to take a second and just realize like Bob Costas really did do an entire Olympics with pink eye. Yeah.
Like that's just the funniest. We should

Speaker 1 okay, Jake.

Speaker 1 We should have like a day that we all just remember it. Can you actually, Jake, can you find the date and we can just do like a 10-minute deep dive on it, how funny it was?

Speaker 1 Because it's just, we just need to, every now and then, when like you're sitting by yourself and your mind wanders, just take it to that place that Bob Costas got in front of America and tried to deny that he had pink eye when he so clearly had pink eye.

Speaker 1 And you got to watch, you got to watch it spread also. Like, it started out on just one eye.
It crept across his face.

Speaker 1 He was, and it'd be one thing if Costas was kind of like a talking head that would just, you know, run the highlights.

Speaker 1 But he was also working in his geopolitical soliloquies, talking about how certain countries' aggressive natures towards others can be problematic.

Speaker 1 And meanwhile, it looked like he was Odell beckhaming the shit out of some cheap hooker as you tell at the end of the day. Just like, it looked like it, there was fecal matter all over his face.

Speaker 1 All over his face. And then three, did you guys see the Josh Passner thing? It was so awkward.
So he, Georgia Tech won on the road against, I think, Nebraska. And so he had a piñata, a COVID pinata.

Speaker 1 He smashes it. It doesn't smash the first time, and then he smashes it, and then it's just, it's candy, but it's like a bunch of like 19 and 20-year-olds who are like, but it's...

Speaker 1 Do you eat the candy? Yeah, is it just candy? Is it a test to see if you you eat the COVID candy? It was just such a funny NCAA moment where it's like,

Speaker 1 all you can give them is candy.

Speaker 1 It'd be funny if it was like bearheads and

Speaker 1 hand sanitizer inside and masks and shit. But it's like if it was cash, if it was booze, like all these things it could be.
And it's like, oh, yeah, that's right. You guys aren't eight years old.

Speaker 1 We're not at a birthday party.

Speaker 1 It's so awkward. I was thinking it was going to be a watermelon wrapped to look like a virus and he was going to smash it.
And then they would be the Vikings. Yeah.
That would be nice.

Speaker 1 That would have been nice. By the way, stay woke on the Bob Costas thing.
I'm pretty sure that Putin gave him Pink Eye. Putin definitely set that up.

Speaker 1 Costas's powerful inner monologues wouldn't be spent on the invade. That's when he invaded the fucking Ukraine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 If we can get Bob Costas off the air, I think people will ignore this. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Time wrote an article on February 11th, What's Happening with Bob Costas' design, How You Can Avoid It.

Speaker 4 It started the 7th, so that was really interesting.

Speaker 1 So let's put it into the calendar, and we'll bring that up. How can we do it? On February 11th? Yeah.
Don't actually, I want to bring back this day in sports history, too. Should I? Maybe there's no

Speaker 1 football. This week in sports history.
One of once a week? Yeah, once a week. We'll do a segment.
Can you just

Speaker 1 do it? Oh, you want me to do it on the podcast? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I want to talk about it, but it's got to be shit like that. Like when Joe Paw pooped his pants and the car turning on the show.

Speaker 1 Just basically anything about poop.

Speaker 1 How do you avoid getting pink eye? We'll figure it out. No, but you said that this is how you can avoid.
Oh, I'd have to read the article. Don't get in bed with Putin.
Yeah, good point. True.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do it. Our website is broken.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't find old blogs, so I don't know if this was a joke blog you wrote or it was serious, but you wrote an article in 2014 that says Bob Costa's pink eye was allegedly caused by a bad Botox procedure.

Speaker 1 Oh, I remember that.

Speaker 1 That was, yeah, there was a rumor, there was Scuttlebutt that he tried to get a little tune-up right before the Olympics, a little Russian tune-up, and it went haywire and he got Pink Eye.

Speaker 1 Pretty funny.

Speaker 4 This is a prof Bob Costas podcast.

Speaker 1 That would be

Speaker 1 the Mount Rushmore of Cosmetic Surgery Gone Wrong is Bob Costas and Joe Buck. We'd have to find three and four.
I always thought that. Joan Rivers died.
I always thought that Bob Costas died.

Speaker 1 She died from it, I think. If you put Terra Reed.
Did she.

Speaker 1 Isn't Joan Rivers alive? No, you're thinking of her daughter, Joanne Rivers. Yeah, she was the one that wasn't.

Speaker 1 I don't know her daughter's name. No, it's Melissa Rivers.

Speaker 1 I have no idea.

Speaker 1 That was very sad. She was a very funny comedian.
I'd also like to say for the record,

Speaker 1 I believe that Bob Costas is a little more squirrely and has a little bit more grit and determination than we give him credit for.

Speaker 1 I feel like he's got a mean streak. Anyone that stayed

Speaker 1 in top of their field for as long as Bob Costas has, he's got some bodies buried somewhere.

Speaker 1 I was talking about

Speaker 1 how he would love to just like

Speaker 1 there was there was some debate where it was like Vince McMahon versus Bob Costas. I think Vince McMahon wanted to beat up Bob Costas for something.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think that Bob Costas could actually survive in a wrestling match against Vince McMahon if it was in a big enough arena. Yes.
Because he's that resourceful

Speaker 1 and kind of shady. And he would just kind of scold him to death.
Yeah, just really embarrass him. What? You know who you probably haven't thought about in a long time? Who? Matt Lauer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for good reason. Yeah.
Uh-huh. Billy.

Speaker 1 You were a fan of his? No, he's a sick fuck. All right, good.
Good job, Billy. You didn't get canceled there.
You were close. No, but like, Bob Coss is getting canceled.
No, it's true.

Speaker 1 We have not thought about Matt Lauer for a very long time. What the fuck? Again, that's probably a good thing that we don't think about.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine if Billy had a Matt Lauer lock in his office and he just locked people in, made them listen to him talk about his spreadsheets?

Speaker 1 Yeah, made them listen to talking about fighting, like, or just said, hey, give me all your ideas so I can plagiarize them later. Who are you plagiarizing?

Speaker 1 Oh, Billy, that's how you should get money from bankers to invest is just lock them in a room with you and be like, I'll let you out, and I'll stop explaining this if you just give me my money.

Speaker 1 Actually, we really shouldn't joke about plagiarism. Yeah, you're right.
It's a very serious topic. Anybody listening, plagiarism is serious and can get you a lot of trouble.

Speaker 1 Or it can get you in a trouble. You're not going to get

Speaker 1 to ESPN.com, and then you can write a book about Trump playing golf.

Speaker 1 No plagiarism. As you as I say, not as I do.
Yes. All right, let's get to Pilgrim McFarland.
What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

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Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter try proper Irish apple a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, here he is, Booger McFarland.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest. It is Booger McFarland.

Speaker 1 It is nut crunching time in the NFL. Oh, I should start, by the way.
Apologies for LSU's self-imposed bowl ban. I know they were looking forward to a bowl this year.
Integrity matters.

Speaker 1 I like that they

Speaker 1 put their next on the line. They said, you know,

Speaker 1 we're going to live our established values and self-impose this right now. Doing the right thing when no one's looking.
We'll just wash this LSU season away, right? We just agree.

Speaker 5 Listen, sometimes, man, it's about character.

Speaker 1 Like, who are you when no one's watching?

Speaker 5 Who are you when no one's looking? Are you going to stand up and do the right thing? And I'm just, I'm so proud of my institution for self-imposing. Nobody had to tell us, hey, here's your discipline.

Speaker 1 We're going to discipline ourselves so that's the type of institution we have and i'm proud to be a part of it buddy that's right you can't spell integrity without grit boomer yeah there we go oh boomer yeah a little 40 so you want to start there yeah because like we've been seeing you we're a little bit jealous of you booger because you get to hang out with boomer every week and yes he comes up with some of the best nicknames that We can't even begin to fathom how he does.

Speaker 1 Like the Rodrigo Know You Sunk My Blanket Ship. Home Minship.

Speaker 1 It's yeah, the Minshew sneeze. It's It's art.
So what's it like being with Boomer while he's watching the games and while he's coming up with those recaps?

Speaker 5 Well, so that's the fun part about it is sitting there watching the games because that's when he comes up with all this stuff. Like he, you know, some people think he just does it off the cuff.

Speaker 5 No, he doesn't do that. He is sitting in there.
So we normally get to what we call the war room, which is a huge room, conference room that's probably got, I don't know, 15, 20 TVs in it.

Speaker 5 So we show show up there right at kickoff every Sunday and we watch all the games. And so we're there from about one till about halftime of the second game.
So probably about

Speaker 5 5, 45, 6 o'clock. And during that time, he basically kind of talks to everyone and he kind of bounces ideas and sometimes he's just talking to himself.

Speaker 5 And I've heard him use those names or say nicknames and just to kind of get a reaction from the room. And you can tell the ones that are going to stay and the ones that are not.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What everyone's thinking is, what type of food are we doing on Sunday when it's Booger and Boomer hanging out, watching games? Are you guys just going to town?

Speaker 5 Yeah, so here's the deal. So normally I start off very light.

Speaker 5 So I'll start off with a salad, you know, just to kind of wet my pallet a little bit, get all the get all the burger and bacon from the night before out of there.

Speaker 6 And then I'll work my way toward some type of wrap.

Speaker 5 And then I'll finish up by kind of halftime or midway through the second game. What about 16? This fried chicken wings.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 it's a slow bill.

Speaker 1 That is nice. That is.
I like that you go salad and then you just put the salad inside of a wrap. So you're eating another salad.
Or it's like, well, basically.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's kind of like an entire meal that's just drawn out over the course of the day.

Speaker 1 So you start out with a salad course, then you have the lunch course, and then you have the dinner, like the medium courses in between. You know what?

Speaker 5 It's a hell of a lot better than starting your day with six donuts like we do every Saturday.

Speaker 1 Once a week,

Speaker 1 once a week, it's It's a nice little treat. Don't hate.
Come on. It's a dad move.
Also, it's 20.

Speaker 1 Listen, once January 1st, 2021 comes around, I'm going to be getting serious about my health. So I'm just finishing off the stretch here.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 5 Good for you then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 I got to really earn it in this last few weeks. Really, you know, let myself go.

Speaker 1 All right, let's talk some football. First up, you were clearly in the conspiracy theory that Greg Williams, Dr.
Heat, did that blitz on purpose against the Raiders. We are in the camp of it's Dr.

Speaker 1 Heat and you can't change Dr. Heat.
That's what he does. He brings the heat.
Why do you think he did that on purpose? And are you shocked that he got fired almost immediately after?

Speaker 5 Well, no, I think he did it on purpose based on the fact that he and Adam Gates just don't get along.

Speaker 5 And I think if you go back early in the season, I think it's clear based on the comments and them having to have that private meeting that they didn't get along.

Speaker 5 And so now Gates probably should have fired him at that point, but he decided not to. And, you know, there's, he had to answer questions with the New York media, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 5 Now, you fast forward. There is only one defensive call that you cannot make in that situation, and that's the one that Greg Williams called.

Speaker 5 Like you can call anything else in your playbook, and you pretty much guarantee yourself a win. The only way you lose that game is to make the call that Greg Williams made.

Speaker 5 And I just think that Greg wanted Adam Gates to wear 0-16 on this resume. There have only been three coaches in the last 50 years go 0-16, and Adam Gates is trending toward being one of them.

Speaker 5 So I just think that he wanted him to wear the 0-16.

Speaker 6 Now, could I be wrong? Yeah, possibly.

Speaker 5 But I honestly think that Greg Williams just doesn't care for Adam Gates. And I think he knows at the end of the year, he's going to be gone regardless.

Speaker 1 Well, all right, so counterpoint, Greg Williams now, you just mentioned

Speaker 1 three teams have gone 0-16. Greg Williams would then be part of two of those three teams, which that's something he has to wear.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 And dr heat he just brings the heat he did in the playoff game against the 49ers in 2012 we talked about that on monday like if he's going to do it in a high-stakes playoff game with a team that's super bowl worthy of course he's going to do it in this game he's dr heat well okay you can bring the heat though and i i tried to show a couple of examples on monday night countdown you can bring the heat without going cover zero cover zero basically means what you're doing is you're saying i'm gonna roll the dice if she she gets pregnant she gets pregnant that that's basically what you're doing.

Speaker 5 Cover zero.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 if Cover Zero works there, Greg Williams is probably thinking in his head, they're going to like Bill Parcels me, buddy Ryan me, and put me on the shoulders and carry me off the field here.

Speaker 5 He couldn't have been thinking that.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 5 everybody that's working for the Jets right now should have their home on Zillow or

Speaker 6 whatever the real estate site is because they're all getting fired up there.

Speaker 5 So there's no chance Greg Williams could have ever thought that he was going to be carried off or he's going to have a job pass what January the 3rd.

Speaker 1 Oh, I think he might have.

Speaker 1 I think you're underestimating Dr. Heat a little bit.
Yes. He is a guy.
I'm about to be the hero.

Speaker 1 I mean, you read all the reports last year, Booger. He interviewed for like six or seven head coaching jobs.
Four of them just didn't just show up.

Speaker 1 And he said, you know what, I'd rather be the defensive coordinator for the New York Jets as opposed to coaching one of those teams. So you're underestimating him a little bit.

Speaker 1 I do agree with Big Cat. It's like the old story of the frog and the scorpion, where the scorpion gets across the river on the frog's back and stings him.
The frog's like, why'd you sting me?

Speaker 1 He's like, because I run fucking cover zero because I'm Dr. Heat, and that's what I do.

Speaker 1 So I think that's just Dr. Heat.
Now,

Speaker 6 I've never heard of that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Booker now just got up from his office and now he's driving a car. Why are you talking long? You got into a car.
Where are you going?

Speaker 6 Listen, I got kids. I got to drive kids to dance and stuff like that.
So it's all good, buddy.

Speaker 1 I'm still here. Okay.
Okay. All right.
Are you in a Tesla?

Speaker 1 What type of car are you driving?

Speaker 6 No, this is not a Tesla. This is a Range Rover.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 This is a Range Rover, just so you know. Uh, let me flip it around.
See, that's that's a nice little Range Rover dashboard here.

Speaker 1 It's a six-steering wheel. I like this.
So I don't know.

Speaker 6 I don't run over people.

Speaker 1 Let me flip it back around the other way. Yeah, I'm still here.

Speaker 1 So come on, let's talk ball. All right, so you're picking up your family.
Your son, Anthony McFarlane Jr., has been balling out a little bit.

Speaker 5 Well, first of all, that's not my kid.

Speaker 6 And if I had a dollar for every time people asked me about that literally literally if i had a dollar for every time people asked me about that i could quit at espn tomorrow our uh our darling jake told us that he was your son we're like i don't i think we would have known about that if that was actually booger's kid but uh he did play against my washington football team and uh got smoked i want to get your take on the nfc east uh the nfc east to me i can i can sum it up really quick man it's amazing how people's judgment of joe judge was so off because everybody said joe judge was just a belichette clone and in reality Joe Judge actually was kind of his own man and he was doing what he needed to do for his team and it's taken him a bit and Saquon Barkley got hurt but if you're looking at who in that division is playing the best it's the it's the giants and it's because of Joe Judge and the team is starting to kind of take his personality and character and it's because of their defense led by Patrick Graham has been outstanding And if oh,

Speaker 6 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Peyton Anning clone Daniel Jones can stay healthy, man, they'll win that division.

Speaker 1 So we've been talking about Joe Judge, but I feel like the only thing that we give him credit for is like, we just know that he's a hard-nosed guy, that he was doing things like making people run laps.

Speaker 1 He was an old school football guy type guy. He tried to fight his offensive line coach.

Speaker 1 But from like a schematic standpoint, from a football standpoint, what is he doing better now than he was doing at the start of the season?

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 it's the classic case, and it's no different to anybody who has a job in America. I want to accentuate what I do well and minimize what I do poorly.

Speaker 6 So if Big Cat would ever take a job where he had to take his shirt off, that would be accentuate what he doesn't do well. So Joe Judge is doing the opposite of that.

Speaker 6 So he's making sure that they run the football, they play defense, they don't turn the football over. And as long as they do that, man, Patrick Graham is a very good defensive coordinator.

Speaker 6 They play a lot of man-to-man.

Speaker 6 Leonard Williams, who was with the Jets up there,

Speaker 6 now he's with the Giants. He's playing well.
Dexter Lawrence, he's playing well. The cornerbacks, the guys on the back end, are playing well.
So they are just getting

Speaker 6 the best and maximizing their talent defensively. And offensively, they're just kind of hanging on and not making mistakes, man.
And so far,

Speaker 6 over the last four weeks, I believe they won four in a row. It's working.

Speaker 1 Sounds like he might be a candidate for coach of the year, but you gave it to Mike Tomlin already.

Speaker 6 Yes, yes. Now, just because you won four in a row, I'm not going to discard those seven L's you took early in the season.
So let's not go crazy here.

Speaker 1 What about Kevin Stefansky, though? What about Kevin Stefansky? You had Tomlin and Flores as your 1-2.

Speaker 1 I would say Kevin Stefansky getting the Browns the most wins they've had in 20 years should be in the conversation.

Speaker 6 So here's where I would just push back on Stefanski. If I ask you, of those three teams we just talked about, Steelers, Dolphins, and Browns, in order of talent, which team is the most talented?

Speaker 1 Steelers. Most football.

Speaker 6 Steelers and then Browns and then Dolphins. So Stefanski getting the talent to play well, like, I'll give him credit, but that's a talented football team.

Speaker 6 The offensive line is as good as there is in football.

Speaker 6 I know OBJ's hurt, but Baker, a former number one pick in the draft, you got Jarvis Landry. So Kevin has got a lot to work with.
Brian Flores, like, nobody thought the Dolphins.

Speaker 6 were going to be in this situation. Everybody said they were basically tanking when they took Pitts Magic out and you put two in and all they've done is just continue to win.

Speaker 6 And I think the game on January the 3rd between the Dolphins and the Bills is going to decide the AFC.

Speaker 1 So I just mousetrapped you because the Giants have clearly the least amount of talent of all those teams.

Speaker 1 They're a team that they have lost the most games in the last, I think it's four or five years in the NFL.

Speaker 1 And now Joe Judge has them on the precipice of winning the division and going to the playoffs. So you just got mousetrapped.
Thank you for voting for my guy, Joe Judge.

Speaker 6 Luckily, I grew up in a country where I had several mice in the house, and I know how to trap mice. And if you go back to my original statement, you cannot give somebody who lost seven games already

Speaker 6 the coach of the year just because he won four in a row. That's like saying, you know what? Man, I lost 30 pounds in the last three months, and then, oh, yeah, but I gained 60 the previous

Speaker 6 four months before. So really, it's a net 30 on the on the game column.
So I can't give you coach of the year for that.

Speaker 1 I would disagree with that because i think most of the time guys would quit on a team when you start that bad to get them back i mean we don't have to talk about it but what about the the best one in 10 team of all time kyle shanahan should have won coach of the year that year absolutely they win five in a row to end the season uh-huh that's my coach

Speaker 6 hey the best one in ten team if kyle shanahan was your coach of the year at one in ten, then right now Adam Gates should probably be the runaway winner for you right now.

Speaker 1 I mean, he fired Dr. Heat, so that's like, yes, in the last four days, Adam Gates is my NFL coach of the year until he plays another game.
That was a smooth.

Speaker 1 You can't make a better decision as a coach than to fire Dr. Heat.
Genius.

Speaker 1 So, wait, but you said that Brian Flores and the Dolphins, because they have so little talent and they had so little. Well, who was the coach of the Dolphins last year?

Speaker 1 Last year, two years ago, it was Adam Gates.

Speaker 1 No, no, last year.

Speaker 1 So, what you're saying is like you're saying

Speaker 1 you can give a guy credit for getting a good season immediately after a bad one because of all the improvement, but you can't split this season into two seasons and say second half Joe Judge coach of the year.

Speaker 1 Mousetrap. Mousetrap.
Mousetrap. How's your neck? Mousetrap.
Mousetrap. Okay, great.

Speaker 6 So if we're going to invent a new award and call it the second half mousetrap coach of the year, then I'm voting for Joe Judge.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, mousetrap coach of the year. All right, all right.
All right, let's do, we'll get out of the mousetraps. Let's do NFC.
So the Saints, I would say, are playing the best ball right now.

Speaker 1 The Packers are going to be the number two seed. They might even get the number one if the Saints trip up.

Speaker 1 Who's a team, though, that outside of those top two that you could see getting to the Super Bowl from the NFC? Because the NFC is fairly wide open in that respect.

Speaker 6 NFC is wide open.

Speaker 6 I like the couple teams you put at the top. I'm still not giving up on the Buccaneers.

Speaker 6 And the reason I say that is because I know what it's like to struggle through a part of the season and then get hot at the right time.

Speaker 6 When I was an Indy, man, we lost four out of our last seven the year we won the Super Bowl. And so it's not about playing the best ball all season.
It's about playing the best ball when it counts.

Speaker 6 And I think that if Brady and Arians and Left Witch can get on the same page with Ronk and A.B. and all the talent, you know, I was talking to a general manager.

Speaker 6 I'm not going to name drop, but I'll just tell you, I was talking to a GM in the league.

Speaker 6 that just says that when you talk about the most talented teams in the league, it's Pittsburgh, it's Kansas City, it's Tampa Bay, it's New Orleans. Like they have a ton of talent.

Speaker 6 So the fact that they're not playing up to par is disappointing, but they still got four games left. And if they don't just wet the bed, they're going to be in the postseason.

Speaker 6 And if they get in the postseason, man, talent always wins. I'm always going to bet on talent before I bet on a great scheme or something.

Speaker 6 I'm going to bet on Brady and Gronk and Mike Evans and that defense.

Speaker 6 I would bet on them figuring it out more than I would them not.

Speaker 1 So it's good that Jason Light actually likes the talent on his team. Thanks for confirming that.

Speaker 6 Maybe Jason Light will get a contract extension like Brandon Bean got today if he keeps acquiring more talent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. That's much deserved.
So let's talk about the Bills real quick.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about the AFC picture because I think the Bills right now are playing as good as any team that's not the Kansas City Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Can you just convince us that the Buffalo Bills have a chance if they played their best game against the Kansas City Chiefs,

Speaker 1 could they keep it within 10?

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 I don't have to think. I can go back and look at the game earlier this season when they it was, what, 26, 17, and

Speaker 6 it was raining and like a little baby blizzard up there. You know, you call Greg Williams Dr.
Heat. I call Josh Allen Baby Fireball because he hadn't met a throw he didn't like yet.

Speaker 6 So as long as Baby Fireball will remember what color the Bills are wearing,

Speaker 6 they got a chance, man. I don't know if you watched the game Monday night.
Like Baby fireball was dealing, man, and maybe it made maybe played his best game of his career.

Speaker 6 And I like Sean McDermott. I like Leslie Frazier.
I like what they're doing. They're a young team, but that quarterback is legit, man.

Speaker 6 And as long as he doesn't turn the ball over, I think it helps them that they've seen Kansas City. Again, they played them early in this season.
They lost 26-17 in a rainstorm.

Speaker 6 So I think if and when they step on the field with Kansas City, they won't be in awe. Like they're going to be like, okay, we've played them.

Speaker 6 We know what their speed is like, and now we have a better opportunity to beat them. So yeah, it wouldn't shock me at all if Buffalo is playing Kansas City for the right to go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 6 It would not shock me at all because I think you look at Buffalo, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, I think Indianapolis, maybe a step down. Tennessee, maybe a step down.
Baltimore, maybe a step down.

Speaker 6 But those top three teams, man, I think if they, if on any weekend they played their best ball,

Speaker 6 either one of those three three can win.

Speaker 1 I love that you still believe in Baby Fireball.

Speaker 1 Even after last year, you called that playoff game, that wildcard game, where it was Josh Allen doing everything that he could against the Texans, throwing Hail Marys to his fullbacks, just running around back there.

Speaker 1 And the fact that Baby Fireball did not scar you for life while watching him at his worst, and now you've seen him at his best, now I'm all in. Now I believe that the Bills can do it too.
I think

Speaker 1 I want the Bills more than anything in the world right now. I want the Bills to go to the Super Bowl from the AFC.
Yeah. It would be so awesome.
Yes. Why is that?

Speaker 6 Okay, please tell me why, other than to hear Chris Berman circle the wagons like never before.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much it. Well, Josh Allen's a friend.
Yeah, we like Josh Allen, and we like Bills Mafia.

Speaker 1 I like their defense. I like their receivers.
I like Cole Beasley. I like Diggs.

Speaker 1 They're a fun team. It's between Cleveland and Buffalo.
They're the fun stories in the AFC. They're the franchises that haven't been there in a very long time.
Die-hard fan bases.

Speaker 1 Their fans bleed for their team. They love their team.
They stick with them through really bad times. So if it's, you know, the Chiefs are probably going to get there.

Speaker 1 But man, if Buffalo or Cleveland could do it, it would be such an awesome story.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and

Speaker 6 is it kind of like 2020's perfect ending for a team like Buffalo or a team like

Speaker 6 not necessarily Kansas City, Buffalo, Indy, Tennessee, like somebody that hadn't won it in a long time to like get in there?

Speaker 6 To me, that would be the perfect ending to 2020 as up and down and topsy turvy as 2020 has been. I'm hoping that this just isn't stock and Kansas City versus Green Bay or New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Or Minnesota.

Speaker 1 You'd go Minnesota versus, which I don't think the Vikings, they might not even make the playoffs, but Minnesota versus Cleveland or Buffalo, and you'd have those franchises win their first Super Bowl of all time.

Speaker 6 I like it. I'm not sure why we got to Minnesota, but okay, good.

Speaker 1 It's just downtrodden fan bases. Booger.
Come on. I think what we should be rooting for is either Cleveland or Buffalo against the Seahawks because that would be such a crazy game.

Speaker 1 That That would be a crazy game.

Speaker 1 Booger, I got a question for you about Mike Tomlin. Your guy, you played, he was on staff at Tampa Bay when you were there.
You obviously think he's coach of the year. What is it about Mike Tomlin?

Speaker 1 And he's a fantastic coach, but the numbers don't lie. When the Steelers are big-time favorites going on the road, they usually fall flat.
They usually have a flat performance.

Speaker 1 They might win the game, but they won't cover the spread. When they're underdogs, they're fired up and they win as underdogs.
What is it about Mike Tomlin that that is an imbalance in his coaching?

Speaker 6 Well, I don't know if it's an imbalance. I just think Mike Tomlin is the type of coach that thrives on adversity and thrives on being the underdog.

Speaker 6 And like, there are some people and some coaches, when you tell them they can't do it, then that's when they're going to lock in and

Speaker 6 do it even better. It's like when I told you you couldn't get below 250.
Like, I saw a different big cat on social media. I didn't see you post as many donuts.

Speaker 6 I saw you locking in and look where you are now. So it's amazing

Speaker 6 what the brain can do when you tell it it can't do something. I think Mike Tomlin is the same way.
Like he is he is that guy. I think Mike went to William and Mary.

Speaker 6 So he's from a small school, worked his way up. Like that's just the type of person he is.
And people look at him now because of his expansive vocabulary and how he runs his press conferences.

Speaker 6 Mike Tomlin likes to get out in the dirt, man. He likes to get down

Speaker 6 and be dirty and grimy. And I think he thrives in situations like that.

Speaker 1 What about what's going on with the other team in Pennsylvania, the Eagles? Jalen Hurts got in. He's going to start this weekend.
And when we were watching... Yeah, not going to be good for him.

Speaker 1 Not against the Saints. Not against the Saints.

Speaker 1 Tough first start to make. But when we were watching the game, we're dumb.
We're dumb football fans. And even on defense, we were saying that the team has a different energy.

Speaker 1 They looked like they were a different team even when Hurts wasn't on the field as opposed to knowing that Carson Wentz was their quarterback. Is there anything to that?

Speaker 1 Like, you get a highly regarded

Speaker 1 first-day pick, second-day pick that's playing quarterback now for you, and even you on the defensive line, you start to play a little different knowing that you've got that guy coming out.

Speaker 6 So, here's the deal, man. Like, as a player on a team, the only thing I want every Sunday when I show up is an opportunity to win.
And usually, that starts with hope. Like, I got to have hope.

Speaker 6 I got to at least hope or know I have an opportunity to

Speaker 6 have a chance to win. And I just don't think that with Carson Wentz, the team had any hope.
I think everyone knew that Carson wasn't playing well and everybody was making excuses for Carson Wentz.

Speaker 6 And I think once you put Jalen Hurts in the game and

Speaker 6 everybody says, okay, now we got a guy back there. He's young.
He's going to be inexperienced and make some mistakes. But at least he can run the football.

Speaker 6 At least he can make some plays with his legs.

Speaker 6 At least he can...

Speaker 6 Bring some energy and bring life. Carson just looked like the life was being sucked out of him every single play.
Like every time he threw a pick, he hung his head down.

Speaker 6 And I get it, his best friend, Nick Froze is not there. I get it.
Frank Reich is not there. Like his inner circle of people that he's leaned on in his career are not there.

Speaker 6 And so it almost feels like that he is on that team alone, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 6 Like I'm on a team with a bunch of people, but the people that I closely admire and I closely can confide in are no longer there. And that's what it seems like he is.

Speaker 6 And so now the guy, Jalen Hurts, who is one with the team, like

Speaker 6 he's the guy that's in the locker room, probably cutting up, clowning, making jokes.

Speaker 6 Everybody's talking to him.

Speaker 6 He's going, and I get it, they can't go anywhere, but he's participating in whatever game they're playing in the locker room. Like, he almost seems like

Speaker 6 he's their quarterback, if you know what I mean. And I think that's why you see that different energy when he comes in and Carson went out.

Speaker 1 Can we try to incept Boomer into creating a nickname for Jalen Hurts? Like, if we tell you something, can you just try to toss it out there on Sunday and see if it makes it?

Speaker 1 Because I was thinking, like, the John Cougar Mellencamp song that feels like it would be up Boomer's Alley. The Hurts So Good.
Come on, babe, make it hurt so good.

Speaker 6 It's amazing. You and I were thinking alike, and I will make sure as long as he has a play that's hurt so good worthy, that will make NFL prime time.

Speaker 1 And if he sucks, maybe you can say Hurts No Good. I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's probably too negative for Boomer. Even better.

Speaker 6 Now, I'm not hoping that he plays bad, but we have to be fair and have something ready for both sides.

Speaker 1 Okay, that would honestly make my entire life. We've been saying hurt so good in the office every Sunday for like three weeks now.
So it needs to happen.

Speaker 1 It needs to happen. We'll hold off.
We actually have held off doing it on our boomers, and we'll hold off hoping that the real boomer will do it.

Speaker 6 I will make sure that gets done.

Speaker 6 For you two, I will.

Speaker 1 Okay, thank you. Booger, I have one last question.
The final question is brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage America's crazy good mortgage company.

Speaker 1 Go to ccmlens.com/slash take to learn more about your future home, buying experience, or refinancing needs equal housing opportunity. MVP,

Speaker 1 it's not Rodgers. Just stop.
It is.

Speaker 6 And here's the reason I say that.

Speaker 6 It's because if we're going to judge the MVP based off what you've done and how great you've been, don't we have to judge Mahomes off what he did his MVP year when he threw 50 touchdowns and

Speaker 6 he was just absolutely outstanding? Because Aaron Rodgers right now is putting up career numbers.

Speaker 1 So he's doing something that he's never done before. I don't know about that.
I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 I feel like he had an MVP season where he was insane and had like two interceptions the entire year.

Speaker 6 I think he's only got like, what, four now, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just saying, I think that he's had years.

Speaker 1 I think he's had years like this before.

Speaker 1 I'll push back on that. I just think Mahomes,

Speaker 1 he's just so goddamn good and he's so consistent. And they're just like,

Speaker 1 yeah, when you watch Mahomes, I just, he's having, he is the MVP of the league. He's the best player in the league, without a doubt in my mind, and he's the MVP in my mind.

Speaker 6 Okay, so I want to ask you this, because I think Mahomes has entered the LeBron category, whereas he's clearly the best player in the league, and you could give it to him every year, but doesn't he have to do something special by his standards to get the MVP?

Speaker 6 Like, LeBron should have won the MVP this year, but they gave it to Giannis based on Giannis having a career year for Giannis.

Speaker 6 And I think when you look at Mahomes, yeah, Mahomes is the best player in the league. I agree.
You and I are sharing our brain, but is it a career year for him? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 What about Baby Fireball? Baby Fireball. Rogers went 45 and six, 45 touchdowns, six interceptions, 4,600 yards in 2011.
That was, I mean, that was his career year. That was...

Speaker 1 Well, he's kind of on pace to do that right now. Yeah.
No, well, he's got 36.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's got more interceptions. He'll have more interceptions.
He's got four interceptions already. So I would say he's kind of on pace.
Right, but this is, but he's already done it. Right.

Speaker 1 So it's not going to be a career year. He's already done it.
It's going to be about equal to a career year. Right, but we can't judge Mahomes on 50 touchdowns every single year.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know about having Patrick Mahomes compete against former Patrick Mahomes for the current year.

Speaker 1 Right, and Rogers is not going to, he might not even beat former Rodgers if we're doing the same standard.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 he's pretty close.

Speaker 1 And as far as 15 games, by the way, so why don't we give,

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 MVP award beat it? We can give the MVP award to 2011, Aaron Rodgers. Okay, there you go.
Because he won't beat it. Because he's what? Has he played 12 games already?

Speaker 1 So he'd have to throw 11 more touchdowns in just three games. I mean, maybe he will, but I would say he probably, that 2011 will probably be better.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 he's got four games left. I'm saying there's another 15 touchdowns in there, maybe?

Speaker 1 You know, I'm saying in 2011, he only played 15 games. He didn't play all 16.

Speaker 6 Yeah, okay, nobody cares about the small details.

Speaker 1 All right, nobody worries about it. Well,

Speaker 1 I do.

Speaker 1 I don't want him winning a fucking game. Big hat just doesn't want him to play 16 years.
He's better because it's going to be against the Bears. Mahomes is better.

Speaker 1 No, it's 1611 year where he was injured for a game.

Speaker 6 Okay, stop. Time out.
Time out. Speaking of the Bears, what the hell is going on with your team?

Speaker 1 They suck. That's what's going on.

Speaker 6 Okay,

Speaker 6 don't state the obvious.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go a little deeper than that.

Speaker 1 Okay, fire Matt Nagy, fire Ryan Pace, got to get get a new quarterback, got to figure out what to do with this defense because it's probably going to get older before you can get a quarterback in.

Speaker 1 It's a full overhaul. They took a shot.
They took a shot. It didn't work out.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's in the NFL, if you trade up for a quarterback or you pick a quarterback with the second pick overall and you get it wrong, you're going to chase that mistake for a decade.

Speaker 1 So they're in the middle of chasing that mistake, and it's going to probably be another three, four years before they come out on the other end with a roster that is post, hey, we, we went, we pushed our chips in because we thought Mitch was the guy.

Speaker 1 He's not the guy. It's going to take a while to get back to that.

Speaker 6 Well, so here's the thing I'm saying is that they have nothing

Speaker 6 that even remotely looks like an identity on offense. And when you have a coach who is an offensive guy who is leading an offense like that, then that tells me that

Speaker 6 he's probably the problem. And I don't know whether they're going to fire him or not.
I don't know whether or not Ryan Pace is going to fire him or whether both of them are going to get fired.

Speaker 6 But I know this, they need a new quarterback.

Speaker 6 I think that whoever the next coach is, probably should get to choose that quarterback. And if Ryan Pace is barely hanging on, then it's probably time to change.

Speaker 6 I'm a firm believer of this. There is never, never, never a wrong time to do the right thing.

Speaker 6 And so if the right thing to do now is move on away from Mitch, even though you invested so much draft capital in him, then you go ahead and move on and you cut your losses.

Speaker 6 Do not throw good money after bad and find you a quarterback because you're right. The defense is getting old, but Roquan Smith is still a good player.

Speaker 6 The cornerback that you guys drafted out of Utah is a really good player. You got Fuller Hicks, if he can lose about 10 pounds over the course of the next couple of years, he can extend his career.

Speaker 6 He's been dominant as always when he's been healthy.

Speaker 1 Khalil Mack. Eddie Jackson, yeah.
I don't know.

Speaker 6 Okay, speaking of Khalil Mack, are you satisfied with the trade based on his production relative to what you gave up for him?

Speaker 1 No, because Khalil Mack, the Khalil Mack trade, you can't look at it in a vacuum because the Khalil Mack trade was based on.

Speaker 6 With a broom.

Speaker 1 However the hell you got to look at.

Speaker 1 I'll explain. I'll explain.
I'll explain.

Speaker 1 On paper, like if you look at it from afar, you're like, why would you trade that much draft capital for a defensive player who, like, you just don't trade that much draft capital for a defensive player?

Speaker 1 It makes no sense. It made sense at the time because you were hoping that Mitch Trubisky was the guy and Khalil Mack was the final piece for a championship window.
And

Speaker 1 I would still contest the Bears, the double doink year. We don't have to go all the way back in history, but they were playing some of the best football of any team out there.

Speaker 1 Like, look at the Rams going to the Super Bowl that year. The Rams went to Chicago a month and a half before, and they fucking kicked the shit out of the Rams.

Speaker 1 So it's pushing all the chips in, hoping that he's the final piece. Because the Mitch thing didn't work out, it now, obviously, in retrospect, you're like, well, that doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 But the move at the time, I can understand and I support.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 6 I like the Khalil Mack move then, and I still like it because every defense needs an alpha. Like, you got to have a guy in the front seven.

Speaker 6 You probably should have two or three, but you definitely better have one. And everybody says, okay, we got to do something different for that dude.

Speaker 6 And like the Bears have Khalil Mack, Hicks, Roquan Smith, which is a pretty good start, you know, and so there are things there to build around. So I like the move.

Speaker 6 And then when you look at it relative to how much Aaron Donnell is making, how much Miles Garrett is making, like he is, like that contract is kind of right on par with what the top guys are making now.

Speaker 6 And he's still not the highest paid guy. So I kind of like where you are right now.
I'll tell you a game that I played the other day, all right?

Speaker 6 And I think Chicago should be involved in it, is let's play musical quarterbacks. So let's assume the Jets get the first pick.

Speaker 6 They take Trevor Lawrence. So now, where does Sam Donald go?

Speaker 1 Sure. I'd take him.
Why not?

Speaker 1 Why not? Yeah, I mean, Sam Donnelly. Chicago feels like a good home.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe Indy. Who knows how much longer Philip Rivers is going to play? Exactly.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Chicago, Indy.

Speaker 6 But what about...

Speaker 1 So I agree. Like, there are going to be quarterbacks out there, but it goes back to I do not trust Ryan Pace, one,

Speaker 1 to evaluate the quarterback and get the right guy, and Matt Nagy, two, to coach him up. So that's, you have to overhaul that before I'm cool with picking up another quarterback.

Speaker 1 I don't trust the guys in charge to find, to pick up the right quarterback and then coach the right quarterback to whatever he comes in. He's probably going to have some warts to get those warts off.

Speaker 6 Speaking of a coach, and I realize I'm going a lot of different places, there's a name that's starting to get a lot of traction early on as we get ready to enter head coach search

Speaker 6 searching for head coach season. If I told you in two months, Marvin Lewis was the head coach of the Bears, how would you say?

Speaker 1 I would fist fight you.

Speaker 1 I don't think that you should fight. So Marvin Lewis is looked at in retrospect.

Speaker 1 This guy went 500. You take him in for a few years.
For 20 seasons. He was on the football team 20 years ago.
You wouldn't want him as the head coach. No, because we got Ron Rivera.

Speaker 1 We got Jack Telrillo jacking off into the river. But Marvin Lewis, he went 500 with the Bengals.
That's pretty fucking good. Over an extended period of time.

Speaker 1 He won zero playoff games. No, thank you.

Speaker 1 Nice guy. No, thank you.
I'm just saying,

Speaker 1 if I told you Marvin Lewis or Brian Dabo, Brian Dabo, Joe Brady, Eric Bienemy, give me any of those guys.

Speaker 1 Any of those guys before Marvin Lewis.

Speaker 1 The NFL does the dump. The NFL does the retread thing thinking that it's going to work, and it's so stupid.
There's so many guys out there like, I just, no, I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 I don't want to do it. We did the John Fox.
We did the retread thing. It didn't work.
It would be a very Chicago move to bring in Marvin Lewis. I kind of hope that it happens.

Speaker 1 I know you do, but that's very mean of you, what you're doing.

Speaker 6 Listen, here's the thing that I would say is that Marvin Lewis would be a proven commodity. And

Speaker 6 it's kind of like when you're gambling. I would always take what I know for sure before I bet on something that I don't know.
Like Joe Brady's hot. Brian Dayball is hot.
Arthur Smith is hot.

Speaker 6 But do we really, really know what we're going to get?

Speaker 1 I don't know. What about Mosaic? Okay, well,

Speaker 1 but let me flip that on you. You could have said the same thing for

Speaker 1 Sean McVay or Kyle Shanahan. Those are two of the best coaches in the league right now.
If you were going to hire Marvin Lewis, I would say, fuck it, just bring Lovey back. And I'd be fine with that.

Speaker 1 Honestly. Honestly.

Speaker 1 Listen, Lovey at least

Speaker 1 welcome out in the state of of Illinois. Lovey at least beat the Packers.
Like, Lovey beat the Packers at the start of his career. He beat the Packers.
I would be fine with that.

Speaker 6 How many games has Lovey won at Illinois?

Speaker 1 That's a work in progress, obviously. I mean, they're never going to get guys.
Well, I mean,

Speaker 6 it's been in progress for five years, hasn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, they beat Wisconsin last year highly ranked. If you're going to go defense, I would take Salah.

Speaker 1 I feel like he's the guy. Bring back Vic Fangio.

Speaker 1 They're doing everything they can to get Salah up in Detroit. Who knows? I want the Bears to just take a year off.

Speaker 1 I want the Bears to not play for you.

Speaker 6 You are so sour right now. You're talking about bring back Vic Fangio.
You are so sour.

Speaker 1 Vic Fangio's awesome.

Speaker 1 You would be sour too. The franchise is a joke.
I'm tired. Just take a year off.
Give us all a break for a year.

Speaker 1 Seriously, when they don't play,

Speaker 1 when they're not playing on a Sunday, my day is just so much better.

Speaker 6 Oh, hilarious.

Speaker 1 Because they don't even lose in entertaining fashion. There's some teams out there that'll lose, like the Chargers.

Speaker 1 If I was a Chargers fan, yeah, I'd be dejected, but but at least your games are exciting, and they usually come down to it unless you're playing Bill Belichick.

Speaker 1 And you could be like, oh, maybe the future. Yeah, maybe the future.

Speaker 1 I want to steer you back real quick to the football team, then we'll let you go. Because, yes, they're good.
Yes, their front seven is elite. They're a team that's trending in the right direction.

Speaker 1 But not a lot of people are talking about their quarterback because obviously they've got Dwayne Haskins, and they're going to try to trade him or do something with him.

Speaker 1 And then Alex Smith is old and has like half a leg at this point after last week against Pittsburgh.

Speaker 1 So what do you think that the football team is going to try to do to address their quarterback position going into next year?

Speaker 6 I think that they're going to trade Dwayne Haskins. I think Alex Smith will be there.

Speaker 6 He'll be the quarterback next year and then they will draft a guy because Ron Rivera clearly wants his own quarterback. And I think the Kyle Allen thing will be good to have somebody there to compete.

Speaker 6 But at the end of the day, I think they're going to draft a quarterback,

Speaker 6 whether it's early first round or or whenever, has yet to be determined. But I do think Alex Smith gives them an opportunity where they don't have to just reach.
They can find the guy that they want.

Speaker 6 And, you know,

Speaker 6 Ron Rivera is a good coach, man. I like Ron.
Like, Ron, Ron has been good to me even when he was in, or since he's been in Carolina.

Speaker 6 He is a great man.

Speaker 6 And it just goes to show you, man, when you do the right thing, you treat people right, that, you know, it gives you an opportunity to to lead men and men will follow you.

Speaker 6 And I think that's what you're seeing in Washington, man, is that, you know, Rivera,

Speaker 6 I don't think there's a coincidence that he won in Carolina and he's now winning in Washington. Two different organizations, two different teams, obviously.

Speaker 6 But I think the consistency is him, how he treats people, and how hard his team plays for him.

Speaker 1 Good team. Trending in the right direction.
Probably going to win the NFC East. Before we let you go, we should say, are you doing the ride on Saturday?

Speaker 6 Yes. Saturday is at, what, 11 o'clock, you said?

Speaker 1 11 a.m. Benefiting people that have been laid off from their restaurant jobs during COVID on Peloton.
Follow Bunzavan.

Speaker 6 I like it. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to puke this Saturday.

Speaker 1 I haven't puked in like six months on that. Well, I mean, yeah, listen.

Speaker 6 First of all, I need a better effort out of you.

Speaker 6 You know, now that we got Big Cat's way under control and I can lay off him a little bit, I need a better effort out of you.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm glad that you're just. You have been harsh on Big Cat today.
Yeah, he's harsh today. I've really been going after Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Listen. You're always harsh on me.

Speaker 1 You're harsh on me on sunday with the with your tweet when i went after uh big who do i go after dalvin cook listen well i mean you you went after dalvin cook and i mean i just i mean i i just hopefully people got the sarcasm no they didn't they didn't they didn't i did but they didn't

Speaker 6 you know people people you know people especially on social media yeah it's it's like crazy so i just gave up trying to convince them and says okay as long as you got it i'm good yeah no i i like your social media strategy.

Speaker 1 I was looking at your tweets to see what you've been talking about. And one guy, you just said to shut the fuck up and go back to

Speaker 1 his basement. And I like that.
I like that. Get aggressive.
Yeah, we love unfiltered boogers. Yes, yes.

Speaker 6 Hey, sometimes, man, you got to get aggressive and let these trolls, man, and let the people know, hey, you know, just because...

Speaker 6 Just because I'm a public figure and you guys think and know that I make some money don't mean that, you know, I'm still not a man just like you are or what you aspire to be.

Speaker 7 If you say the wrong thing, then I'm going to let you know it.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, I can't wait to puke on Saturday and then watch you guys on Sunday night maybe slip into a little jail and hurt so good.

Speaker 1 That would, I'm just, I'm, I'm getting short of breath just thinking about that.

Speaker 6 Listen, if Boomer doesn't slide it in, I'll slide it in for you.

Speaker 7 Love it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Love it.
All right. Thanks, Booger.
Appreciate it, man.

Speaker 6 Anytime, man. Y'all have a good one, fellas.

Speaker 1 See ya.

Speaker 1 That interview with Booger was brought to you by our great friends over at. I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
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Speaker 1 And now, here's Keidan Slobus. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is USC starting quarterback Keaton Slovis.

Speaker 1 You are now initiated into the pardon-my take world. We did this interview because we're like, all right, Keaton, you're a sophomore.
You're the starting quarterback of USC.

Speaker 1 You're going to be a pick in the NFL draft. We want to get in early.
So it's great to have you on.

Speaker 1 Where should we start? Should we start with just actually, you know what? Let's start with this. This is kind of a stupid question, but how fast are you?

Speaker 9 That's a great question.

Speaker 9 I don't know.

Speaker 9 I ran a 4-7-9 when I was in high school. I like to think I'm a little bit faster now, but fast enough is what I like to think.

Speaker 9 I don't like to run, but if I have to, I can.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are you still growing?

Speaker 9 A little bit. I think I'm done now, but I grew like half an inch this year.

Speaker 1 Okay. Between this.

Speaker 1 All right, because we take our quarterbacks very seriously. When you're in the quarterback family, a pardon my take, it's a huge honor.

Speaker 1 Blake Bortles, Joe Burrow, Baker Mayfield, Baker Mayfield, Jared Goff.

Speaker 1 But I was thinking about it. Who are you going to say, Hank? Who did I forget?

Speaker 1 Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 Josh Allen dumb, though, stupid to me. You kind of look a little bit like Josh Allen.
Have you ever gotten that?

Speaker 9 No, I haven't, but I guess I'll take you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like a Calibro version of Josh Allen. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I asked the fast fast question because when I was doing a little prep for this interview, I was like, wait,

Speaker 1 I obviously knew your name. I watched a lot of college football, but you can't ever get slow because your last name is Slovis.

Speaker 1 So we need to make sure, like, whatever we do, you have to stay nimble and fast. Otherwise, our limits only go so far.
Like, when people start making Slovis jokes because you're slow, we're out.

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, I definitely take that into account. You know, know, you have to eliminate that at all costs because

Speaker 9 there's too much potential there with that nickname. So

Speaker 9 I'll definitely work on that speed in the offseason.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would say speed is more important than even throwing at this point in your career.

Speaker 1 And really the most important thing right now is get ready for the combine just so that you can't put up like a 4-9 or a 5.

Speaker 1 a 5-0 at the combine because at that point, NFL scouts will just look at that, see your name, and then boom, you're in the third round before you know it.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 9 That's definitely how I evaluate. So I need to, I'll get at least below sub-4.8, I think, is what I think we can easily target for.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that. Okay.
Me and Big Cat were talking to Matt Leinert. He's, would you call him a colleague, a protege, just some rando, weird townie that hangs around the program a lot? Booster.

Speaker 9 You know, I've looked up to him for a while. You know, I think, because I didn't really grow up an SE fan, but he got drafted by the Cardinals.

Speaker 9 I was a big fan of his before he got drafted and he got drafted.

Speaker 9 So I actually have a Matt Leinert Cardinals jersey um so big fan of his i guess you could say so we were talking to him he was prepping us a little bit uh with some fun facts about you he told us that you you were a tuba player is your is your tuba career officially are you on hiatus are you officially retired from playing the tube are you going to come back i won't put myself out yet i i guess i'm on hiatus because um we're actually doing the interview with him on fox and he brought a guitar because he thought i was learning guitar i was like i can't really play guitar but i could play tuba you know so i just need to get the instrument in my hands, I think, again, maybe refresh a little bit.

Speaker 9 But I think I could make something happen there maybe in the future if football doesn't go my way.

Speaker 1 So you just said something interesting. You know, you didn't grow up an SC fan.

Speaker 1 You also were a three-star coming out of high school. You weren't like recruited by a ton of powerhouses.
Was it the minute you got onto SC campus?

Speaker 1 Because, you know, USC quarterbacks, you think of quarterbacks, five-star quarterbacks. Were you intimidated at all? Like, hey, I'm a three-star.
I probably won't start start right away.

Speaker 1 Obviously, JT Daniels gets hurt, but what was that thought process? Like, hey, I just want to be at USC. I don't really care about playing time right away and everything will work out.

Speaker 9 Yeah, honestly. So I didn't play.
I didn't start in high school until I was a junior. So

Speaker 9 I kind of felt I was behind the eight ball from the get-go. You know, most kids get recruited as a sophomore or as a junior.
Like they already have enough tape, you know? So going into my junior year.

Speaker 9 year, I thought I wouldn't get the opportunity to go to a blue bud type school like USC. So by the time they did offer me, I didn't have a a whole lot of offers, but I had a little bit of momentum.

Speaker 9 And USC did offer me. And, you know, I remember kind of saying to my dad, like, you know, like, we might need to jump on this because I felt like it was kind of late in the recruiting process.
And,

Speaker 9 you know, shoot, it's USC. And I kind of thought I was good enough as it was that I just needed an opportunity to go to a school like that.
Then once I get there, I can kind of prove myself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's strange because I don't think you were recruited by ASU until after it was basically too late, right? Would you have gone to Arizona State?

Speaker 9 Probably not. I didn't grow up like an Arizona State fan, really, but

Speaker 9 it did feel like that was kind of the school that should have been recruiting me first. You know, it felt weird that, you know, Southern California came in and offered me.

Speaker 9 Even NC State came in and they were actually my first PowerPoint offer. So

Speaker 9 definitely felt a little bit slighted at the time, but I don't think it really would have changed my decision.

Speaker 1 I like that, though. A little bit of a bet on yourself moment.
So last year, JT Daniels gets hurt against Fresno State. You end up playing the whole year.

Speaker 1 I would assume like last year is kind kind of you're playing without expectations.

Speaker 1 What was it like this year, throw COVID out, which, by the way, thank you for writing the letter to the governor and getting Pac-12 back. I'm going to give you credit for that.

Speaker 1 You're the sur yacht of the West.

Speaker 1 What was it like, though, like with expectations? How does it feel going into a season as a starting quarterback at USC? I feel like that's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's definitely different. You know, I think...
As a backup, I came in, no one knew who I was. And honestly, I think most people have expected me to go out and suck.

Speaker 1 I did. Oh, I did.
When you came in, I was like, I actually bet I bet against you guys against Utah because I was like, fucking Keaton Slovis? Who the fuck is this?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I bet on him because of the name. Because of the name.
In fact, I know. I was like, you suck, dude.
I was like, Key Don, that guy's good.

Speaker 1 In fact, I think my dog might have, my dead dog reported that JT Daniels was out and you were getting the first start. So I guess Leroy, yeah, yeah, I think he gave you your start out west.

Speaker 1 I even forgot what Big Kai just finished asking. Well, I was, yeah, so like when you come in and you're a true freshman and you're playing right away,

Speaker 1 did you even have a second to be like, holy fuck, this is a lot? Like, or was it just let's, let's go and roll?

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, I guess so. Like, you're playing with Houseman at that point, right? Like, you didn't expect to play.
You're getting a great opportunity. So let's roll with it.

Speaker 9 And honestly, I think that's kind of an easier way to get going versus like.

Speaker 9 This year, I think I was pressing a little bit to start the year just because, you know, you feel that pressure of being the guy and having those expectations.

Speaker 9 So I kind of sat back and was like, you know, you'd have the same mindset as last year and just go out and have fun with it. And I think that's the biggest thing.

Speaker 9 Like when you're in high school, you're playing in front of a few thousand people, maybe at most, you know.

Speaker 9 But then you go to college, you don't realize how it's a big jump and big difference, you know.

Speaker 9 So I think that's a lot of kids can kind of get caught in that kind of trap of getting caught with the pressure and feeling that. But I try to avoid it as much as I can, really.

Speaker 1 Here's kind of a simple question, but I think a lot of people are thinking this when you're when we're talking to somebody who is the quarterback at USC, do you ever stop and look around and just be like, damn, my life is awesome.

Speaker 1 I'm the starting quarterback at University of Southern California.

Speaker 9 Yeah, sometimes, you know, because like it's something as a kid, you know, you're like, man, like, this is my goal. I want to be here.
I want to be the starting quarterback at a big time school.

Speaker 9 So sometimes I kind of sit back and think, man, it's pretty cool that, you know, we've made it here, but you know, I still have a further way to go.

Speaker 9 I don't just want to be the quarterback USC and have that be it, you know? So I kind of want to keep things in perspective. And my life really hasn't changed a whole lot on a day-to-day basis.

Speaker 9 So, really, things aren't that different.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it. Like, if you were to ask most people, they'd be like, Man, if I could do it all over again, I'd go back and be the starting quarterback at USC and live in LA and just live the life.

Speaker 1 That's like the ultimate college bros dream life that you're living right now. So, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you might not get, you might not notice it in the moment, but you should stop and take a mental snapshot sometimes and be like, this kicks ass.

Speaker 9 I definitely will. More so now than that you mentioned that I definitely will think about it more often.

Speaker 1 How do you still keep in touch with Kurt Warner, who was your coach in high school? Which let's talk about that for a second. I mean,

Speaker 1 was it just like, oh, he's coach? Or were you guys like, this is fucking Kurt Warner? Like, he's a Hall of Famer. That must have been a little bit of a trip to have that.

Speaker 1 And do you, do you still like talk to him? Does he still give you tips and everything?

Speaker 9 Yeah. So he

Speaker 9 moved into the district, like the school district when I was in like middle school.

Speaker 9 His kids moved into the school. So he has a daughter my age.
He has a bunch of kids, but

Speaker 9 he's a son that's a couple years younger than me and a son that's couple years older than me. So when they were like out of school district, he started coaching at the high school.

Speaker 9 And I was kind of like thinking, man, it'd be pretty cool to go play for Kurt Warner in high school, you know, like be a quarterback under him.

Speaker 9 He ended up coaching there until I left. And he still texts me now, but that was the coolest thing about playing with Kurt is he had like a he had an older son who's a receiver.

Speaker 9 Actually, he's at Nebraska now, Cade Warner.

Speaker 9 And so, you know, whenever Cade needed to throw or, you know, Kurt would need someone to throw at the, at his house, you know, I'd always try to jump on that opportunity and just learn from him as much as I can.

Speaker 9 And, you know, still like last summer, really right, right before quarantine and stuff, I still went over to his house and we threw a little bit.

Speaker 9 And just just pretty cool to have that kind of, you know, person in your life.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did Kurt ever get out there on the practice field and like show you guys how to take the reps and actually like step in and take live drills with the ones?

Speaker 9 See, that's the thing. Like in practice, Kurt won't really like throw.

Speaker 9 Like he'll kind kind of just like flick it and then we had this one i think it was like flag football tournament it was like a thanksgiving type day like flag football tournament with our entire team and he had like everyone had like like i was a team a quarterback one team the head coach was a quarterback another team and he took one team was quarterback man he walked out there with the gloves on and everything like pleats like

Speaker 9 2009 or whenever last time he played and he was i've never seen him like turn it on like that it was it was really impressive do you how far do you think he can throw right now uh

Speaker 9 See, I don't know. Kurt never could really throw that far in the first place.
He could probably throw it 50, 60 yards.

Speaker 9 That's the thing that, like, he just keeps it in here and just kind of flicks it and it just, it spins nice, but he just picks people apart.

Speaker 1 Did he ever try to convince you to wear two gloves? Because I know not many quarterbacks do. I know Big Ben does it sometimes.
Kurt used to do it even when it was like 75 degrees out.

Speaker 1 He just, I guess he liked the feeling of two gloves on.

Speaker 1 But I feel like if you're Kurt, you have to try to recruit new quarterbacks to have that look so that people just don't always make fun of you for being the guy.

Speaker 9 He did.

Speaker 9 So there was one game in high school, I like sprained my wrist on my throwing hand. So for the next game, I can't really squeeze the balls tight.
So he gave me one of his gloves.

Speaker 9 I wore it for like a drive, and then

Speaker 9 I couldn't do it, man. I tried, I really did, but I took it off after that first drive.
But he, um, I got Teddy Two Gloves is wrecking the brand pretty strong right now.

Speaker 9 But yes, probably got to do a little bit more work to get more people on it, his uh

Speaker 9 his regiment there.

Speaker 1 So your offensive coordinator, Graham Harrell, I think you have a pretty good relationship with him. I actually,

Speaker 1 he was very gracious when Dougs went to USC as offensive coordinator during quarantine. I appreciate, by the way, USC is the only school that hasn't had the Dougs curse.

Speaker 1 Florida State, Tennessee, Toledo, Texas Tech have all had very bad seasons. So

Speaker 1 we'll keep that going. But Graham Harrell, how many times has he made you watch the Texas Tech, Texas game with the famous Crabtree catch?

Speaker 1 Like, I imagine Graham Harrell ends every film session, like, hey, let's pop this tape in real quick and let's watch this night.

Speaker 9 See, it's pretty funny because, like, I remember it was like his first week there at school. And he's like, you know, we run, because they run four verticals.

Speaker 9 I was a play and he just back shouldered it to Cabry, Crabtree. So he's like, you know, against Texas, this is the kind of look we had, you know, that throw I made.

Speaker 1 And everyone.

Speaker 1 Everyone's kind of looking at him like, what?

Speaker 9 Like, no one said a word. And in my head, I'm like, I know exactly what he's talking about.
And so no one said a word. And I don't think, like, maybe the kids now are too young or something.

Speaker 9 But I was like the youngest one in the room and I knew who he's talking about. So I went to him after and I was like, you're talking about like the Texas tech, Texas game where you guys won, right?

Speaker 9 He's like, yeah, no one even knew what I was talking about. I was like, yeah, I got you.

Speaker 9 Then every time we have like a back shoulder throw, he's like, yeah, like that one I made to crap after the day.

Speaker 1 That must suck for him to have that moment of realization, like, shit.

Speaker 1 Because that, I mean, that game was so great that if I were Graham Harrell, I would just be, I'd probably just walk around with like a

Speaker 1 like an iPad strapped to my, you know, neck, just playing it on loop. So I guess he's probably being gracious, just throwing it in there like, oh yeah,

Speaker 1 back shoulder to Crabtree. But I love that he still is bringing it up.
He should bring it up.

Speaker 9 Yeah, well, when I like, when I tell people like, you know, my coach is Graham Harrell, usually they're like, who? And then I'm like, you know, the guy who beat Texas.

Speaker 9 And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I kind of remember that. So that's kind of like, he needs like a patch or something that says, like, I beat Texas

Speaker 1 2008, whatever year it was that's yeah number one Texas it's kind of how he throws it out there the first time he'll mention it all nonchalant and just see if anybody picks up on it and then maybe over the course of the relationship he gets he lays it on thicker and thicker until people yeah like

Speaker 9 that he's due that reminds me of the game against Texas like oh what game against Texas he was um he was a guy that he didn't used to grip the laces on the football right it was just like they'd snap the ball to him and he was in Mike Leach's offense and Mike Leach would just tell him throw the ball immediately once you get it has he tried to like instill any of Mike Leach's weird can you hear sometimes like Mike leech talking through graham harrell's mouth when he's coaching you uh sometimes he has some weird like sayings that he he definitely brings from leech he has some good really good stories too i'm sure he can tell them better than me but um the funny thing like leech doesn't like he doesn't play football like he doesn't play quarterback so like he said when he played with leech he wouldn't like they didn't have any footwork so he just kind of like drop back and do whatever he wanted and like whenever they did individual drills he'd just go do whatever he wanted with the quarterback so i always thought that was funny because now like Graham's super strict with the footwork, but when he was with leech, he just said, Yeah, just

Speaker 1 throw it. You know, like, find the opening back.
Rip it. Yeah, it's like a kid growing up with hippie parents that becomes an accountant.
Like, that's how you rebel against the authority.

Speaker 1 You're like, you get more strict with things sometimes. Yes.
So, all right, so, Keaton, so you're in our program now.

Speaker 1 Because of that, I have to at least air out any tweets I had in my past. So, I did have one.
I looked it up.

Speaker 1 Against Oregon last year, you guys get out to a 10-0 lead, and I tweeted in the first quarter: is

Speaker 1 Keaton Slovis good?

Speaker 1 And then you guys got absolutely smoked the rest of the game, and I just replied, nope. So

Speaker 1 that's just out on the table. Okay, I just want you to know that that's there so you can see it.

Speaker 1 I'm motivating you. Some may say I might have jinxed you, whatever it may be, but now we move forward.

Speaker 9 No, I appreciate that. I do have to salute my cousin, Kyle Slovis, for I think he defended me in your replies.
I actually saw it because he responded and he was like, no, big cat, he's actually good.

Speaker 9 Trust me. So he's got my back.

Speaker 1 I do appreciate that.

Speaker 1 That's just classic. You know, you have to have a take on Twitter all the time.

Speaker 1 And sometimes it just so happens that it's like a 19 or 20-year-old kid that you're making like a lifetime judgment on based on like one quarter of football, which is, that's basically our job.

Speaker 1 And when you say that, it sounds really strange, but I'm always fascinated by the guys that like tweet at you when you're a senior or a junior in college. And they're like, hey, come to my school.

Speaker 1 Like, did you have, did you have grown adults being like, hey, come to Utah. Hey, come to Colorado and play football.
And if so, did that actually make you not want to go to their school?

Speaker 9 See, that's, I see it all the time because I know what you're talking about. You know, these recruits and these people on Twitter who are like have weird cult followings of these schools.

Speaker 9 You know, like. Oregon has a big one.
You know, CU has a big one now that they're undefeated.

Speaker 9 They have a lot of people talking, but I just wasn't like cool enough or recruited enough out of high school to get that.

Speaker 9 So I think actually when I committed to SE, a lot of people were like, man, like he's only three-star. Like, don't come here.

Speaker 9 So I think there was more negative when I was trying to go to USC, but never had like a whole lot of positive.

Speaker 1 So you undersold how ride or die your cousin is. He replied, come on, big cat, kid is elite.

Speaker 1 So he had you as already elite. And then someone replied, he's good, but I heard his cousin is a choch.
So that was good that he got a little there. That was

Speaker 1 at not Keton Slovak.

Speaker 9 that was your burner yeah yeah how's uh by the way how's the funny bone you hurt your funny bone on sunday night the funny bone is good it was weird man like so i fell on like i got sacked and i didn't like think anything i tossed all the ref and my hand like you know when your hand falls asleep it just feels like it's like numb right so my whole entire like hand is like feels that way and i look down and like i can't move my fingers and i'm kind of like looking at the ref and he's like do you need a timeout and i was like i don't know because my left hand too like i don't really need it you know i seen it catch the snap so they look at it, and after a few minutes, it started loosening up, but it's fine.

Speaker 9 I don't know what that's never happened to me before. That was kind of a weird thing, but it's funny bones, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just great that in the post-game, you're like, Yeah, I hurt my funny bone. Like, yeah, it was literally the injury was a funny bone injury on a football field.

Speaker 9 It's weird, man. I don't know how to describe it.

Speaker 1 Um, all right, so my last question for you: I had uh, was, do you look so 2022? You are right now, like, it's very early.

Speaker 1 We love doing the pre-draft stuff, but there are some publications that have said number one pick 2022. Do you read that at all? Do you look at that? I mean, you have to, right?

Speaker 9 I don't look for it, but people will send it to me. So that's how it usually goes.

Speaker 1 Like, that's rat poison, huh? That's rat poison. You can't have that.

Speaker 9 I know, I know. That's why I try not to, like, hey, don't send.
I tell people, don't send me stuff, but they do it anyway. But there's a lot of football ahead.

Speaker 9 So I like, that's why I always tell them, like, we got this season, it's not even over yet.

Speaker 1 So we'll get there when when we get there. Do you need somebody to trash you? Does that motivate you when you read something negative about yourself?

Speaker 9 Yeah, yeah, it does.

Speaker 1 We can have-you guys should trash me.

Speaker 9 You shouldn't take me under the PMT banner yet.

Speaker 1 No, you are, but we're taking you under our banner by trashing you. We have a

Speaker 1 actually have an intern. Well, Bill, as I say, we have a perfect person.

Speaker 1 Whether you know it or not, Hank already hates you because he hates every single one of our friends. That's true, but also trash you.

Speaker 1 But also, Hank doesn't know how to write, and Billy, our intern, is actually very hyper-critical of people on film, especially their bodies. So we can just like, especially for a guy who didn't play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So we can like sick him on you and have him just do like a recurring blog series of all the mistakes that you made in each game.
Just so that you have always like a chip on your shoulder.

Speaker 9 That'd be great. You know, like say something about like my funny bone isn't strong enough or I don't know, but have him go after me.

Speaker 1 That'd be great. Well, selfishly, we need to get you bumped down a little bit.
So that way then when you get... the number one pick, we can say it was our doing.

Speaker 1 Cause we, you know, we'll do a draft for Keaton Slovis and then we'll be like, oh, we'll take all credit for it. So you starting at one doesn't really help us.

Speaker 9 Right. And you can kind of be like, you know, we were at the bandwagon when he wasn't number one.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got in early. We got in real early.
Right now I have you mid-second round. And that's just because you maybe.
Maybe. That's because you quit the tuba and you have no follow-through.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Speaker 1 That'd be great. All right, man.
Well, this has been awesome. We appreciate it.
You are part of the crew.

Speaker 1 Good luck with the rest of the season. Maybe we'll talk to you in the offseason.
Also, credit to you.

Speaker 1 I feel like you went from Arizona to California and you immediately got, there it is, the hair, Cali hair.

Speaker 1 You on command, you just messed with your hair perfectly. Did that, was that like you showed up on campus and all of a sudden your hair just started looking awesome?

Speaker 9 I think it's been awesome for a while. You know, Arizona's slept on, I think, a little bit.
You know, it's not, it's not that bad of a place, but

Speaker 9 definitely makes it a little bit lighter in the California side.

Speaker 1 It's a ringing endorsement. Not that bad of a place, Arizona.
What's the difference between

Speaker 1 Arizona Bros bros and cali bros uh

Speaker 9 see i i hate saying this because i love i love my my guys in arizona but i feel like arizona like wants to be california but they're just not like they're not right that's the only way to describe it like they think they're west coast but they're just really too far east to be to be

Speaker 1 true yeah yeah can you explain to us real quick what what the hell goes wrong with the clocks in arizona

Speaker 1 with the what with the clocks why why is the why are the clocks always different in arizona than every other I don't know.

Speaker 9 So we don't have daylight savings. Us in like Indiana, I think they're only only states that don't have it.
I kind of like it, but when I went here, it weirded me out because I'm not used to it.

Speaker 9 So like, I think it was actually, we had the 9 a.m. game.
So we had like mock game week for the 9 a.m. game.
And then the next week, daylight savings time.

Speaker 9 So it was a completely different sun location in the stadium. It was, it threw me off, but

Speaker 9 it's not bad.

Speaker 9 It's kind of nice having the sun out a decent hour of the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that 9 a.m. game, was that just so bizarre?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I don't, I don't want to play another one, but we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 You guys are that you're definitely going to have to play another one. That's that's like that's going to be here to stay for the Pac-12.

Speaker 9 Yeah, unfortunately, I think, I think you're right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, well, Keaton, thank you so much, man. We appreciate it.
Welcome to uh, the crew. If you start to suck, there won't be like a letter or anything, we'll just stop talking about you.

Speaker 1 No goodbye or see you later. Just know that that's out there, but otherwise, you're in

Speaker 1 awesome.

Speaker 1 All right, man, thanks so much. Appreciate it.
Thanks for having me. All right.
See ya.

Speaker 1 That interview with Keidan Slovis was brought to you by our great friends over at this college football season.

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Speaker 1 All right, let's finish up. We got Fire Fest of the Week.
Fire Fest of the Week. Henry, would you like to start? Sure, my Fire Fest of the Week is that

Speaker 1 Norman, my puppy. With the big dick.
My big dick doggy dog.

Speaker 1 He has gotten to the age. I don't know if this is an age thing.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is something I have to figure out going forward, but every time there's a dog on TV, a lot of commercials, like there's a state farm commercial with Aaron Rodgers and dogs, and every time it comes on, he goes absolutely fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 So he's not very smart.

Speaker 1 Is that? I mean, he's a puppy. His dog thinks that dogs live inside a box that hangs on your wall.
Right.

Speaker 1 Is this something you guys are dog owners?

Speaker 1 What? Sorry, excuse me. You guys have experience.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying it. You guys have experienced.
Really messed up. That was so funny.
When you saw the billy, you were talking to Billy. You guys have experienced having a tape when you were showing.

Speaker 1 You were sharing pictures of Leroy on Twitter when he died to your Normie. Was Norman barking at your phone?

Speaker 1 He was crying to my phone.

Speaker 1 Well, Stella's a very serious dog. Takes herself very serious.
Thinks

Speaker 1 her job is to guard me and guard the world. So no, she does not know like the TV.
She knows it's the TV. She doesn't give a shit.
What about if there's like a doorbell on TV? Does that fuck with you?

Speaker 1 No. Now, doorbells, she's not so happy.
Do you have a doorbell on your apartment that you live in right now? Yes. Does he go crazy? No one comes to the door.
Oh, sorry, you don't have a doorbell.

Speaker 1 We could change that. What's your address?

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 No, don't say it. Don't say it.
Don't say it. Don't say it.
Don't say it, Hank. Don't say that.
There's so many people who want to fight Billy right now. True.

Speaker 1 All right. That's good Firefest.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that like something that's going to just be a little bit more dangerous? Yeah, I'm sure your dog will get smarter. My dog's stupid as fuck.
Hank,

Speaker 1 you have to read to your dog.

Speaker 1 No, but he does.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's in the jeans. Yeah, Hank, Hank, just read to Norman.

Speaker 1 And maybe watch some TV shows that have dogs with him.

Speaker 1 Explain it to him. Explain it.
No, that's

Speaker 1 learned more words. It's an HBO show with animals and I can't watch it.
I like the show and I can't even watch it. That's

Speaker 1 Fire Fest. I know.
Historic Petrus. It's a true Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest of the week is I bought a Christmas tree yesterday. That's great.
It's wonderful. I mean, I love the holidays.
I love Christmas trees. You guys know that about me.
I love Fraser Furs.

Speaker 1 Went out, got a nice eight-footer.

Speaker 1 Do you guys know how much an eight-foot tree costs in New York City?

Speaker 1 $75.

Speaker 1 When I sold them back in the DC area, I know it was

Speaker 1 five years ago.

Speaker 1 1990s.

Speaker 1 It was $59. Yeah, that's what I said.
It was five years ago.

Speaker 1 It was $59.99 to get an eight-foot Fraser fur. Well, this is New York.
It is. Best trees in the world.
Based on every night, so $120. Yeah.
Nothing. $300.
It was $300, big guy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it cost me $300.

Speaker 1 I'm not shocked. Is that like a situation where you're like...
Because they know that you can't go anywhere, too. Like, you can't go to, you know, you can't travel.

Speaker 1 I even told the guy, I was like, I used to be in the biz. And he's okay, here's a discount.
Frank family discount. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, if we want to go down that route, I also had to buy a stand, and then there's taxes on there. So it was $340 out the door.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I didn't think to ask until after he had already cut the bottom off and bailed it up. And I didn't want to seem like a Grinch.
No, you have to pay for it then. They got you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You cut it, you buy it. That's what they say.
Yep. And so I walked home with a $300 tree.
Damn. And well, you got to keep it up till like April at least.
I'm not throwing that tree away.

Speaker 1 That tree lives in my apartment now. Damn.
That is a feature of my apartment. I'm going to plant it into the floorboard now.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So I think that's a pretty... Pretty decent firefest.
There used to be a bar I'd go to in Madison that the whole feature was called Paul's Club.

Speaker 1 The whole feature was there's just a tree in the middle of the bar. I like that.
That was it.

Speaker 1 There are bars in different cities, too, that their stick is always like it's Christmas year-round. No, it's just a tree in the middle of the bar.
It was it in the ground? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it was, I was always drunk, so it might have been fake. But it was literally the tree was just in the middle.
It was a huge fucking tree. Uh-huh.
The common ground. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, my fire fest is.

Speaker 1 I've done a terrible job as a father because my son is plagiarizing. Not my actual son.
No, I'm not. Billy football.
I don't actually know.

Speaker 1 This is like, we can't joke about this because, as many people know, in colleges across America,

Speaker 1 there's people who will legit report you to the honor committee. For plagiarizing Bryce Hall? No, for not, for like, like, for no reason at all.
You plagiarized Bryce Hall as brain, though.

Speaker 1 It's almost plagiarism. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's brain plagiarism.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I have no idea. I did not plagiarize Bryce Hall.
Where have I gone wrong? What have I done wrong? You stole the idea.

Speaker 1 Did I say I love you? I say I love you.

Speaker 1 Billy, your father loves you, but we're disappointed in you. This is, I mean, originally, then Bryce Hall plagiarized PFT.
You came up with a fighting app,

Speaker 1 but you may have plagiarized that from Rumbler. Okay, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 You're spinning.

Speaker 1 Why are you... Wait, you're blaming me.
One of your drunk ideas. I was on your side.
I know, but one of your drunk ideas was coming up with the app, which I've now retroactively remotely.

Speaker 1 So you stole from PFT. No, you remember.

Speaker 1 I retroactively remember. You stole an idea of your head.

Speaker 1 I don't remember. I retroactively, when I thought of it.
Just like when Andy Pettit was like, yeah, I did steroids, I retroactively remembered it. I misremembered.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, it's not that.

Speaker 1 No, that's actually a genius.

Speaker 1 You can get out of, like, if you lie about anything, you can just get out of it being like, well, now that you say it, I retroactively remember.

Speaker 1 There's a website called Rumbler. Yeah, it's like a joke.
I think it was like an SNL skit. Okay.
People have been sending me every

Speaker 1 idea, but that was like 10 years ago. So now I have to run everything that you say through a plagiarism function.
No, no, no. no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Let's look up. Would you say potato salad is what? Potato.
Let's see. Potato salad has been an out of creep.
Potato salad.

Speaker 1 Do you have a fire fest? Mayonnaise.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 On behalf of all college football fans, we are losing the SEC on CBS theme song 2024.

Speaker 1 ESPN. No, I thought it's

Speaker 1 tomorrow. It's next year.

Speaker 1 Wasn't that the announcement?

Speaker 4 Well, the 10-year contract starts in 2024.

Speaker 1 Right, right, but I thought the announcement tonight, we knew that we were losing it.

Speaker 4 Right, but now it's official.

Speaker 1 No, but it was always official. Okay.
Did the SPN buy out the last remaining years? I'm not sure. That, I think, was the question.
Regardless, we're losing it. We might be losing it like tomorrow.

Speaker 1 What, the music? Yeah. Yeah, you know.
They should buy it. I've been warning people about this for three years.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, remember that one time over the summer, I was really excited about SEC football come back? And

Speaker 1 I started singing the song, and you totally killed the mood in the podcast because you were depressed because of the song? Because I've been like, hey, guys, we got to be ready for this.

Speaker 1 It's going to really suck. It's a great song.
It's going to really, really suck. I found a little Thanksgiving tweet here from my friend Dragonfly Jones on Twitter.
Billy, you probably follow him.

Speaker 1 He said, Potato salad is an abomination before God. What cereal killer one day thought, I'm going to mash up boiled potatoes and some broiled eggs with mustard, mayonnaise,

Speaker 1 vinegar, and onions, but that isn't disgusting enough. Let me refrigerate this.
It takes eggs so I can eat it.

Speaker 1 I make fun of my friend who I posted a picture of my bacon, egg, and cheese on Twitter, and he goes, yo, that bacon, egg, and cheese is trash. And I text him back, yo, what the fuck are you eating?

Speaker 1 And he goes, I mean, potato salad. I'm like, that's fucking disgusting.
I actually have those tweets on my phone. Okay.
And that's why I'm like, that's a great story.

Speaker 1 I've basically been saying it so I can fuck with my friend.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so now, all right, so we're only going to, so Jake, you are right. I thought they were making a big announcement tonight that I thought was going to be that they were buying them out early.

Speaker 1 But it turns out the announcement was just that this contract was happening, which we all knew.

Speaker 1 Richard Deitch said the only year that CBS would even contemplate giving up is the final one, and it's highly unlikely. So we have

Speaker 1 2024 with the CBS, FCC on CBS. We'll cherish it.
Like you said with football, four more weeks. Remember this moment.
Get your fours up for four more years.

Speaker 1 What if they just, like the first week back, they didn't have the music,

Speaker 1 but the curtain gets pulled to the side and Vern's there.

Speaker 1 Yes. Or what they should do, if they're really nice, they should slowly change the music over the next three years to wean us off.
Uh-huh. That's actually

Speaker 1 a brilliant move because it's so good right now. Yeah, start like, start mixing it with other songs so that way by 2023, we're like, what even is this song?

Speaker 1 And then we won't even remember that we lost it. It'll just be eventually Mike Greenberg saying, Welcome to the SEC on ESPN.
Right. All right, Billy and Firefest.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I almost know what, I'm going to be honest. I almost lost you a lot of money.
Why? Well, I was picking up your car today

Speaker 1 and I went, everything went smoothly, pulled into the spot in front of the office, and then I got opened the door, was checking my keys to make sure I had your car keys and your credit card for pay to the parking thing, and I couldn't find your credit card.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 So then I was like, oh shit, last time I had the credit card was back at the parking lot. I gotta make sure that

Speaker 1 if it's there, I get to it first because people take credit cards and run up the fucking charges. So I ran back to the parking lot, couldn't find it there.
Yep. In my seat.
Ran back.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't have lost that much money, but I appreciate it. I would have just canceled it.
It would have more been

Speaker 1 tweaked out. Well, I was like, I was terrified.
Okay. It was.
If that is your luck. We would have led with that on the podcast.
Yes. It would have been like a bad thing.

Speaker 1 We can't just have a credit card for the next day and a half.

Speaker 1 No, but I was tweaking out.

Speaker 1 In my head, I was like, oh my God, I'm going to lose it.

Speaker 1 I freaked out. I freaked out.
I appreciate that, Billy. All right, let's do numbers.
I'm everyone off. I'm eight as always.
Remember, really enjoy this weekend.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 73. 72.
Hey, Billy, people have been telling me that I'm going to damage my back if I only work out the right side of my body. Same number, Billy.
Is that true? One.

Speaker 1 It's never going to happen.

Speaker 1 18.

Speaker 1 I'm trying not to get

Speaker 1 36 is Liam.

Speaker 1 50.

Speaker 1 What's on the die? 50 burger. 50 burger.
All right, we'll see everyone.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do it.

Speaker 1 Pigeons can fly home no matter where you take them on the whole planet. Love you guys.
So carry your pigeons. We're very useful in both world wars.
Love you guys. For carrying messages.

Speaker 1 I don't know how

Speaker 1 to say I'll stay

Speaker 1 anyway.

Speaker 1 Days are not the pain.

Speaker 1 Fight

Speaker 1 flying away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Stay

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 1 It's needless to say

Speaker 1 I'm alternative

Speaker 1 letters to me, I'm stumbling away.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning to love it, so yeah.

Speaker 1 Say after me,

Speaker 1 snowballs will be safe than so.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 will be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 All

Speaker 1 the things

Speaker 1 that you said

Speaker 1 is it life

Speaker 1 just to flame our worries away

Speaker 1 through all the things I've got to remember

Speaker 1 Shining away

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway So

Speaker 1 take take

Speaker 1 love.

Speaker 1 Oh, I

Speaker 1 breathe

Speaker 1 all your

Speaker 1 day