NFL Week 13, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game And More Lottery Madness

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On today's Pardon My Take, week 13, a wild, awesome witching hour. In week 13, we recap every single game.
We give you a little coach of the year. We give you the new, proclaimed Hugh Jackson Award, the worst coaches of the year.
We have every single game.

Carson. We give you a little coach of the year.
We give you the new proclaimed Hugh Jackson Award, the worst coaches of the year. We have every single game.
Carson Wentz gets benched. Looks like the Patriots are back.
The Bears are a joke of a franchise. The Rams are looking for real.
The Browns, yes, the Browns. If you are a Browns fan, today is your day.
We talk about the Browns and get very excited for the Browns. We have Football Guy of the Week.
We do a little college football talk. Baby Braun and Who's Back of the Week, a packed Monday show.
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Today is Monday, December 7th, week 13. What? What? What? What? What? We start in the Meadowlands where the Jets got raided on their way to Little St.
Jameson Crowder Island and got hung up in cell abrasion as Necktie Johnson couldn't choke out the Young Vegas defense when he had a chance. The tank continues to roll on as the Jets fall to 0-12 and the Raiders creamed the Poo-Tang Clan one last time as Darren said, car rules everything around me.
Get the money. Walla Walla Bills, y'all.
The Raiders. 31.
Jets. 28.
Dr. Pete.
In the NFC North, the Vikings welcome the Jaguars, and Mike John Glennon refused to say, let it be, as he took a shot in the back after being distracted by DJ Chuck David Chapman. Oh, no.
Too soon, boom. Justin Jefferson Davis made the Jacksonville defense look like a confederacy of dunces as the Jaguars still refused to end Doug Marone's Bronx tale,

telling him, now you can't leave.

In overtime, Mike Hans Zimmer composed the score when he needed one the most

as Dan Christian Bailey prevented another dark night in Minnesota

with an overtime chip shot.

The Vikings 27, the Jaguars 24.

In Nash, Vegas, where Corey Miles Davis was dressed up in all blues, but it was the Titans' performance that left the fans kinda blue on Sunday. Derek Thierry Henry tried to deploy his full arsenal, but it was Tottenham that won 2-0 in the North London Derby, and that was talking soccer.
Donovan Foster, the Peoples Jones, or as my good friend Gus Johnson says, Donovan, Peoples, Jones, proved that the Indy score wasn't a fluke and Cody Parkey's pumped-up kicks went 7-for-7. The Cleveland Browns have nine wins, 41, Titans 35.
Huh? The Browns?

Nine?

Cleveland Browns.

Am I reading this right?

Nine, three, wake me up.

Teach.

Down in Houston where Chad Chris Hansen told the Colts to take a seat after they got caught watching Cutie's score.

But it was just a minor inconvenience as T.Y. Milton Bradley had seen that before.

Before? Before? Rodrigo, no, you suck my blankenship. After a tough loss last week, the Colts were able to whip out their alley cocks and drop it on the AFC South table.
Please make sure to frank, rank, comment, and subscribe as the Colts are back in the driver's seat. Colts 26, the Houston Texans 20.
What's up, YouTubers? In Chicago, where interim head coach Daryl Matthew Bevilacqua is trying to become a made man, tasked with moving the wobistics for the Lions offense. The Bears tried to go buck wild cherries singing, hey, you're a crazy Mitch.
You fuck up so good, you keep dropping it. Talking about back-breaking fumbles there, Teej.
Jim Carreon Johnson made the Bears' defense look like LaHoo Zahers as not even Cole Komet detectives. Fourth-quarter touchdown could help the Bears to a win after John Penasini...
That's literally his name, boom. ...found himself laying flaccidly on top of a ball to secure a Lions victory.
Lions 34, Bears 30, they suck. In Miami, there was some pregame misinformation as to whether or not Tuanon Tagalivoa would make the start and bring the storm.
Miles Carroll Gaskin put the Bengal Tigers to sleep with 141 all-purpose yards. And Brandon Walker-Allen and the Bengals lost their temper getting into a shoving match with the Dolphins.
But it was Mike Gusecki-Bump who had a nose for the end zone. Not the first time a Dolphin did a little yay there, huh? And Miami stays rolling.
19-7. Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola.
But I said- Thank you. Peyton You should put the grade in He'll go into heaven James is worship Satan In Los Angeles where Casey Anthony Lynn got away with murder last week As he's trying to stunt the growth of his young star Nikhil Backhar Harry was a rock star and bought a bathroom he could play football in and a king-sized dub big enough his 10 teammates plus him.
Cam Newtony Hawk has done a complete 180 for the Patriots season getting them back to 500. Patriots 45.
San Diego Super Chargers 0. We finish out in Seattle where Golden Enema of the Tate did all the small things right and Blink 182 Martinez was catching things and hitting Carlos Hyde.
Giants fans are saying, I miss you to Daniel Jones, while Colt McCoy said, what's my age again? And a touching tribute to my good friend, Kurt Cobain. Seahawks fans are playing Jamal Adams song as they haven't reached Nirvana yet, dropping an inexcusable loss to the New York football giants, the G-Men 17, the Seahawks 12.
All right, week 13. That was the fastest two minutes in sports presented by Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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I'm not apologizing.

I'm ready to abandon. I'm not apologizing.
I'm ready to abandon my Drew Locke take, the Moxie take. Please advise me for the most elegant way I can dismount from that take without admitting I was wrong about it.
Okay. He's not surrounded with enough talent.
He's got a ton of talent around him.

Yeah, I wouldn't go that route.

I would say, you know, he's football young.

Go football young. Well, he's football young.

Also, he has to play Patrick Mahomes twice every year.

That's tough.

Mizzou's not really known for this type of thing.

Yeah.

He didn't have enough prep in college playing under the big spotlight.

Yes, exactly. Drew Locke.
I'll say something nice about drew lock it doesn't matter that he sucks it doesn't matter that he threw a couple picks tonight it doesn't matter that he misses wide open guys he's still gonna be cocky he did the fucking hulk hogan here to have like to what like 10 of the crowd yep he has not beaten the chiefs in his career he did the hulk hogan here he is he's a visor guy too he's a visor guy big red flag i had i known that going into this i would have never gone the moxie route with him he's your friend after like you know like maybe like a little scuffle at the bar and he's like i would have fucked those guys up like no dude you got like you have a black eye yeah your shirt is ripped you have a black eye we might have taken you to the hospital he's like no no no I would have fucked those guys up. He's like, no, dude, you have a black eye.
Your shirt is ripped. You have a black eye.
We might have taken you to the hospital. He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
I had that shit. He has so much confidence.
I don't even, I actually don't. Usually what happens with quarterbacks is when they suck, when they truly start to suck, I start to actually, like, the human side of me kicks in.
And I'm like, man, I kind of feel bad for this kid. I don't feel bad for Drew Locke because I don't think Drew Locke even knows he sucks Drew Locke is in the locker room right now being like yo if that game lasted five more minutes we would have fucked him up like we had him yeah that last pick's on me but listen I had them I was starting to see it I'm telling you right now they don't want to see us in the playoffs and then and someone's like uh like no offense like hey, Drew, we're not going to the playoffs.
He's like, what are you talking about? We got mathematically eliminated three weeks ago. Yeah, what are you talking about? We're going to the playoffs, bro.
To go off your take of the fight guy who won't admit that he got his ass kicked. Love that guy.
He's that guy, but he's also like, let's go out to another bar after that fight. Yeah, see if we get some chicks.
His night isn't done after's like let's keep this going after party i feel like this night has only begun begun to rock he's bleeding out of his mouth he's like you guys want to play some pong he's like let's do some shots yeah yeah so you're right that it's kind of fun watching him because you're right he does not understand he doesn't he thinks he like owned him and i I kind of respect that in a weird way.

But it actually could have been a lot worse than it was. Well, no, this was – I kind of saw this one coming just because Vic Fangio is such a good defensive coach.
And if you want – the first game that the Chiefs and Broncos played, the Chiefs killed them, but it was weird shit. It was pick six.
It was punt return. So, like, it's actually Drew Locke is kind of the difference between the Broncos being able to win a game like this because they actually do have some talent.
Like, they have a great defensive coach. They have some nice young weapons.
You know, Melvin Gordon looks good tonight, but they're still the Chiefs. And I do think the Chiefs are in that, like, a little bit of cruise control where they'll just do enough to win, but they don't have to expend all the energy.
Like Travis Kelsey in the postgame, you see that? Yeah, he didn't know who he was playing. He was like, yeah, credit to the Raiders.
They're just kind of going out there and playing. They beat the Raiders twice this year, only lost to them once.
Mike Francesa said that he's disgusted by the Chiefs' on-field actions at times because there's so much in Cruz control.

They're undisciplined, according to Francesa.

And then the other side of the pendulum, the other King's Day Kings,

Skip Bayless, said Tebow would have won this game.

Tebow would not have thrown two interceptions to safeties.

He would have thrown two interceptions to defensive linemen trying to throw a screen pass.

That's a little bit different.

It takes away the speed of the return game on that one. I have a take on Noah Fant.
I think that Noah Fant is going to be an awesome tight end when he goes to his second team. Yes.
That dude is like, he is baby Eric Ebron. He's baby Ebron in the fact that he's got all the physical tools.
He's just waiting for it. He looks good.
He's waiting for somebody that – or like a decent offense that can get him the ball occasionally. But, yeah, Tyreek Hill did the backflip into the end zone again, which is always sweet.
It didn't count. It didn't count, but it was still sweet.
He was wearing a bandana that went down to his numbers, which at first I didn't like. I was like, what's up with that? It's like if you're going to have something on the back of your jersey, have it be some sweet, like a hoodie,

but he just had a do-rag coming out of the back of his helmet.

Then I realized it's perfect because if somebody tries to tackle you by

that,

it just slides right off like a lizard's tail and you escape.

It's actually a genius move by Tyreek Hill,

but that catch that he had in the first half,

holy shit.

It didn't count.

That didn't count either.

Ran him out there and punted when he could have taken a delay a game. And that also, those are the type of plays that when the Chiefs do get those, that breaks the other team.
And the game flow is completely different. Right.
You can't give them a fluky touchdown. Yeah, even the Broncos hanging around.
You knew they were going to hang around when they kick a field goal, miss a field goal to end the half. The the half the Chiefs didn't have 28 seconds which the Chiefs it's actually perfect that Andy Reid now has a quarterback that defies like time he's a time snatcher Andy Reid's one thing that he's never been able to figure out is time and now he has Patrick Mahomes where Patrick Mahomes gets the ball back with 28 seconds and we're all sitting here being like they left left him too much time.
Like, that actually is way too much time. But the Broncos playing a good enough defense that they don't score, and they only get a field goal, that told you right there, like, oh, they're going to be in this for the whole game because that is such a Chiefs moment where they break your back, score a touchdown, and you're like, what the fuck just happened? Yeah, the Chiefs, they're not dominating like they have in the past, but I still they're gonna be fine they just have too much fucking talent divisional games don't count the same in my mind when like if a team doesn't dominate the Chiefs not dominating the Broncos you see them twice a year it's just you know each other better like I just I just think that it always is different that's why Mike McCarthy says they matter so much more and if you win those games then you end you end up winning your division chance yeah there was there were a couple weird things with the time snatching so there was obviously the uh tyreek hill touchdown catch that wasn't when he thought the ball hit the ground and then andy goes out there and punts when normal andy reed calls a timeout just for the fuck of it just for like it's actually just a point in the game where andy would have naturally called a timeout for no reason it's it's and then he'd have more time to look at the at the replay of it it's literally andy reeds catch my breath yeah he he calls time out sometimes to be like hold on give me a sec like i'll catch up in a second guys yeah some coaches call timeouts to think it over right which is always like the biggest waste of a timeout and he just calls a timeoutout to get a little bit of oxygen going.
But there was that.

And then there was the field goal that wasn't for the Chiefs briefly.

Did you see the delay of game?

Yeah.

When the long snapper had the ball in his hand with one second on the play clock

and they called him for delay of game.

Alex Kemp.

Alex Kemp, we talked about it last week.

Fuck you, dude.

Alex Kemp.

Fuck you.

This group of refs hates points.

Hates it. They hate putting their arms above their head.
I bet I'm not an under guy. I told you all week, tell me who Alex Kemp is going to be reffing.
I will take the under. That Tyreek Hill flip touchdown, that was a phantom hold.
Alex Kemp steals points. Jake, make sure on Monday morning you tell me exactly who he's reffing.
I will take the under again. I'm going to chase this guy around.
He's a point vampire. Yeah, he really is.
He's an energy and a point vampire. So I just had this thought.
We watch a lot of football, Big Cat. We watch a lot of sports in general.
Every other sport, they have a clock that has decimal points on it when it comes to the end of the game. Because we'll talk about the Falcon Saints later, but there was a play at the end of that Falcon Saints game where the ball hit the ground and there was one second left, but you can only add time back on, according to Mike Pereira, if there are two seconds left.
Baseball doesn't. Yeah, baseball doesn't have a clock.
They've just got like when Joe West dies, that's when Major League Baseball is over. But in most sports, you have a clock that has decimal points.
Why doesn't football have decimal points? I kind of like that we don't. Just cut and dry, it's either 1 or 0.
Yeah, I kind of like we don't. Roger Goodell cares about the details.
He cares about decimal points when it comes to Melvin Gordon's blood alcohol content. No, because that's something that we just have to have to get mad at.
You get angry at it. I kind of appreciate the idea of it being like it's either one or it's zero.
That's a football guy way of thinking about things. So I like that.
But when it comes down to an end game scenario or something like a delay of game that's not, I feel like more details are usually better than fewer details. Nah, fuck it.
I mean, we still can't always get like a direct right down the end zone line camera angle. That's true.
Like we don't have a chip in the ball and the first down marker. They still bring out the card to put in between the ball and the chain.
Like these are things that we just need. We need to keep it old school.
Okay. OS.
When you put it that way, I'm kind of on board with the fact that it's like it's a football guy thing to not care about decimals. Yeah, right.
Let's not get crazy about it. That's too close to math.
Right, right. No, we can't have that.
By the way, did you see what some fan did with the crop circle Andy Reid? No. Somebody made a giant crop circle.
Look it up right now. Andy Reid crop circle? Out in a wheat field, which is probably as close as Andy Reid's ever gotten to a vegetable in his life.

But it's just a giant picture of Andy Reid's face out in the middle of a field somewhere.

I love it.

I fucking love it.

Oh, this is sick.

That's pretty sweet, isn't it?

Yeah.

It's probably offensive to Andy Reid.

Like being an Andy Reid made out of vegetables.

Yeah, you don't want that.

It's like putting Bruce Arians on an O'Doul's bottle.

Yes, this isn't going to work.

All right, let's get to the rest of the Sunday slate. We will start in chronological order.
We will start with Saints-Falcons. Saints-Falcons.
These two teams don't like each other. They hate each other.
The Taysom Hill game. This was the game that Sean Payton basically is saying, Taysom Hill's my future quarterback.
He played like a quarterback. He threw the ball.
He played like a good quarterback. He had two touchdown passes, his first, since he was like a senior in college being 31 years old.
49 games that he's played in the NFL, hasn't had a touchdown pass. A late bloomer, if you will.
And he had two today in the rivalry game. 10 for 12 passing on third downs.
Avings the Mormons. was essentially sean payton being like yo we're good with tasem hill going forward this is why i wanted to keep him around sorry james winston uh you're shit out of luck but tasem hill's our guy and listen drew breeze broke 11 ribs it came out again i i swear to god he keeps breaking more and more ribs until they're all broken i mean it was still 11 it was 11 earlier but every time you hear 11 ribs.
It came out again. I swear to God he keeps breaking more and more ribs until they're all broken.
I mean, it was still 11. It was 11 earlier.
But every time you hear 11 ribs, it sounds like there's an excellent one. Because as far as I knew until like a week ago, the human body had like 8 or 10 ribs.
I thought 12 this morning. It turns out it's 24.
So he broke almost half of his ribs. But the Saints are now 8-0 straight up, 8-0 against the spread without Drew Brees in the last two years.
And that's a credit to their defense because their defense is incredible. I got a couple stats for you that show how incredible they are.
The Saints have now gone 13 straight games without allowing a 125-yard rusher. Okay, so what? Teams don't really rush like they used to.
The Saints have gone 15 straight games without allowing a 300-yard passer. That's crazy.
That is pretty insane. Their defense is playing at an all-time level.
They're suffocating opponents. They held the Falcons basically to field goals all game until the end.
They're actually – their Falcons' quarter touchdown was the first time in 42 drives that the Saints defense had given up a touchdown. That's crazy.
You always think about the Saints as being an offensive football team. That's just because our brains are stuck in like the late 2000s.
It's like Oregon. Yeah.
You see those uniforms and you're like, okay, especially like if they're wearing the all whites, you're like, they're going to put up 40 points. But no, you're right.
Their defense is awesome. Sean Payton should get more conversation for the Coach of the Year.
Oh, I have Coach of the Year later. People should talk about Sean Payton as being – he's in the hunt right now for Coach of the Year.
If we were to make like a giant Steve Kornacki whiteboard and try to do our presentation on it. I don't have him in my top four.
You want to do it now? I think should be all right i'll give you my top four but it's only because they they seem to do this when drew breeze gets hurt like it happened last year yep they don't really miss a step okay my top four we'll do it now uh number one kevin stefanski cleveland browns agreed number two brian flores miami dolphins number three i mean the dolphins have, and he's basically turned this thing around. He leapfrogged Mike Tomlin in my own because of what he did when he tried to fight the entire Cincinnati Bengals today.
Correct. I love seeing that out of a head coach.
Number three, Mike Tomlin. Number four, you're not going to like.
You're going to say Joe Judge. It's Joe Judge.
But I'm okay with that because Joe Judge, he's a football guy. He's an interim head coach that happens to have a four-year contract.
Number five, Bill Belichick, because this might be his best coaching job ever. Oh, it's without a doubt his best coaching job of all time.
But yeah, I guess Sean Payton would, Sean Payton's not going to win it because it's like Andy Reid. You know what I mean? The team was expected to be good unless you're undefeated like Mike Tomlin and coming off a year where the Steelers didn't make the playoffs last year.
It's hard to win Coach of the Year after a year where you were good and you've been good for a very long time. But I agree.
Sean Payton is, you know, whatever, top five coach in the league. Usually the Coach of the Year goes to the most improved team year after year.
And, yeah, with the Saints, it's like you expect them to be winning the NFC South or at least in contention to win the NFC South every single year. But I think that he should be in the conversation.
Yeah, so nine in a row for the Saints, ten and two. They're playing for the one seed.
They're in the driver's seat for the one seed right now, even though they lost to the Packers. The Packers have three losses.
Can we ask this question? Are they peaking too early? That is a good question. That is a really good question.
And that's the perfect question to ask because then if they lose in like a freak play in the playoffs or by a blatantly blown call, you'd be like, hey, I called this back in early December when they were almost too good. And unfortunately for the Falcons, you kind of aren't part of the storyline anymore.
Yeah. Because like you fired your coach.
They got boring pretty quickly, didn't they? Right. You fired your coach.
You played okay football. You were in this game.
But, yeah, you're not really – sorry, you're just not part of the storyline. I would have liked to see the Falcons kick a sad field goal at the end of the game to lose by, like, 19 or do something crazy or, like, give up a fourth quarter lead.
But none of that happened. It was just, like, a normal team losing a game, which I guess if you're a Falcons fan, you'll take that.
Yes. This is a pretty average loss in the NFL.
Absolutely. It's crazy that Young Wei Koo, they threw this out there.
He's never missed from 50 plus. That's nuts.
Yeah, nuts. This is a good team that could use like a short-range specialist.
Yes, absolutely. I didn't think of that, but that's exactly where everyone's head should go.
So here's the answer to your question. If the Saints beat the Chiefs in two weeks, they will officially have peaked too early.
Yep. That will be the official moment where it's like, nope, can't have that.
Peaked too early. The Saints are going to fall apart in the playoffs because they've already done their best football.
Yeah, they've spent all their emotion on that big game against the Chiefs uh one encouraging thing if you're a saints fan is the return of captain slant michael thomas is back to balling out again i guess you know that has a lot to do with the quarterback that's passing ball if you have tasem hill typically he's not going to be able to work those he doesn't tasem doesn't really run a west coast offense no he's not your ideal quarterback for that type of game but um when they are using him it looks like he's back to his old self he tweeted something out earlier today it was along the lines of i've recalibrated myself and now i'm thankful for the system that's around me so michael thomas has humbled himself okay after punching cd deuce in the face yes uh also something to watch just uh in the tickler file i can't remember who tweeted it came across my across my timeline. But someone was like, does Taysom Hill have really short legs and a really long torso? Something to just look into.
I'll look into that. Might have been just the black pants.
I think I know where that's coming from, though. And he always runs with that tilt.
Yes. So his upper body is...
He's tilted forward. Yeah, he's always...
Even when he's going to pass the ball, he looks like he's going to run it for seven yards. Which actually, I think that's the correct way to run.
Everyone pretty much universally runs the wrong way. I mean, I know, speaking for myself, I always run however I can make it so my tits don't jiggle as much.
But I'm pretty sure you are supposed to run a little forward. Yeah, ideally.
Have you ever actually looked at yourself running? It's bad whenever i'm outside i see somebody run by me i look at them and i'm like wow that person's got a really fucked up run you know they do the thing where their legs go out to the side at their knees yeah i'm like what a loser i can't believe they run like that and then one time i saw myself running and i'm like that's gross that's fucking disgusting no you can't you can never look at yourself run uh no i mean i love to you know see people when i go get my donuts on saturday morning see people running being like look at this slow poke yeah as i go just house a bunch of donuts it looks like a really easy way to get hurt yeah yeah don't run never run you're looking for oh yeah go ahead even ruiz watching oh okay there you go shout out steven reese yes so yeah i i i came across my timeline i was like like, you know what? I didn't think about this, but I think you're right.

I think Taysom Hill's got really short legs somehow.

Somehow.

Some way.

All right.

Next up.

Sorry, Falcons fans.

You're just not part of it.

Lions Bears.

Let's talk about your Bears.

They are a bad coached football team.

They suck.

They're terrible.

The defense has quit, which I give them full allowance to do so because I would have quit a long time ago if I were this defense. They have quit.
Situational in football, terrible. Mitch Trubisky wasn't even that bad today, but that fumble is inexcusable.
Allen Robinson not reaching for the sticks at the end. David Monk, like the imagination of an offensive wizard to just be like, all right, we need one yard, let's just fucking plow it ahead with no offensive line.
I hate everyone. The only good thing that came out of this game was I think a loss like that where you're up 10 at home with the ball at the 50-yard line and five minutes left and you somehow find a way to lose, fire everyone.
And it has to be fire everyone. And speaking of coach of the year, might I remind you that Matt Nagy won coach of the year in 2018.
That's incredible. Which means it's a completely bullshit thing and who the fuck cares? Because guess who came in second that year? Anthony Lynn.
jesus christ that is going to be the funniest anthony anthony lynn was probably a first-year head coach then too right thank you and anthony lynn usually one and two coach of the year 2018 usually there are a lot of first-year head coaches involved in that conversation because nobody knows what they're going to do and so you get a coach like Matt Nagy, and everybody is dumbfounded by his offense,

even though it's the most predictable thing.

They don't have any tape to know exactly how predictable it's going to be.

Right.

So in his first year, it takes the league by storm.

It's a bad coach team.

It's a bad football team.

They've lost six in a row.

No, five in a row.

And the worst part is, and we'll get to the NFC playoff picture, like 8-8, 9-7, 9-7 will get to the playoffs in the NFC this year. It falls off a deep end because of how bad the NFC East is collectively.
And then you pick off each division winner, and then it just falls off. I mean, the Cardinals lost.
The Vikings are now 6-6 in it. So the Bears have a completely winnable game.
They're up all game, and they've totally pissed down their legs in the most important moment. If you're Mitch Trubisky, you cannot take that fumble.
You cannot have that fumble happen. If you're Allen Robinson, you have to reach for the sticks.
All these little things combined, and a totally winnable game. You piss it away.
Fire everyone. The franchise is a joke.
I'm so sick of it. It doesn't even hurt like that didn't even hurt because witching hour was so crazy i just looked up and i was like are you got lost in the sauce a little bit like that the ending of that game kind of paled in comparison to some of the other crazy ass endings that we saw it's actually a good thing that the jets ending happened the way that it did because it totally took all the distraction away from bears it sucks for you it sucks but that matt patricia got fired the week before that you need to come back in the fourth quarter against him yeah because this was daryl bevel shout out daryl bevel like i don't i mean he kind of just let the bears be the bears there but uh yeah he that was like the most anti-lions win yeah ever yeah it was crazy and peterson he did have his customary 3.5 yards per carry.
And he always beats the Bears. And Matt Stafford always lights the Bears up.
What do you have, like 400 yards passing? The defense quit. I'm fine with it.
I'm fine with the defense quitting. I have no problem with the defense quitting.
Here's where I'm at with the Bears, and this is the danger territory, is that if I can't be hurt, that means I'm ap've i've i've calloused over to the point where a loss like that doesn't even stun me because i just know it's a bad coach football team in a in a poor fundamentals and situational football is not addressed and like all these things so apathy is when it actually gets to be the worst apathy means that you gotta fire everyone because if you're mad it means that you care right and i still care but i just like it was to be expected worst. Apathy means that you got to fire everyone.
Because if you're mad, it means that you care. Right.
And I still care, but I just, like, it was to be expected, the way this kind of fell apart. Like, you looked up, and the Bears were in cruise control all game.
You looked up, and you're like, oh, they're going to fucking lose this game because they're a joke of a franchise. I think what Matt Patricia proved is that coaching football is actually harder than rocket science.
Yes. Once and for all, it's put an end to that age-old debate.
2018 Coach of the Year, Matt Nagy, runner-up, Anthony Lynn. Unreal.
Both probably going to get fired. All right, next up, let's talk about a good football team, the Cleveland Browns.
Yes. The Cleveland Browns have officially had their statement win.
This was an ass-kicking. These Cleveland Browns, and when I say these, I mean the Cleveland browns that we saw today these cleveland browns can win the super bowl they're not going to play they're not going to play like this yes this isn't the cleveland brown it's a team if you score on your first six possessions every game you could win the super i'm not agreed there i'm not talking about the cleveland browns i'm saying these cleveland browns would win the super bowl they were that was the funnest half of football that I've seen all year from any team, I think.
It was an ass-kicking, like a true ass-kicking. You look at the score, and you'll say 41-35, and be like, oh, it must have been.
No, no, no. It was an ass-kicking.
The Titans came back because that's kind of only the logical thing that would happen in that situation. It was almost like Mario Kart getting a lightning in eighth place.
the Titans were going to score a few touchdowns but this game was an out and out asking six straight scores to start the game they completely bottled up Derrick Henry made him fumble for the first time in a really long time by the way side note I love it when announcers say this player takes a lot of pride in not fumbling yeah i know i i know

it it doesn't really mean anything but when they single a player out and say that about him i feel good i'm like that guy that guy likes details right ezekiel elliott takes a lot of pride in fumbling yeah uh derrick carr a lot of pride in yeah he washes his hand in butter so it does happen but baker was phenomenal baker had four touchdowns he was sick and this is, these are the games. I think we all know kind of what Baker is now.
He is a good quarterback that can play great at times, but he's good. He's not going to be, I don't think Baker will ever be a top five quarterback in the league, but you can win with Baker Mayfield.
Oh yeah. I think he's a very good quarterback.
And it's great to see Baker happy because when I see sad Baker, sad Baker just makes everybody absolutely there's just there's no wind in his sails he's drooped over he does things like he wears that giant trench coat where he looks like uh both a homeless person who murdered somebody and the detective who's been hired to catch him at the same time when he's happy and he's like skanking down the field and high stepping that's that's fucking fun to watch and i want to give credit massive credit to to Billy Football for pointing this out like a month and a half ago, two months ago, that Derek Henry, not a great short yardage back at times. There were like three or four times when he got the ball and he got hit in the backfield today.
And like Billy said, his legs are too long. They're a giant target.
Too much a tackle. Yeah, the fourth and one actually kind of changed the course of the game.
It was in the first quarter was in the first quarter and the titans go for it fourth and one the browns then stop them and go right back down and score again and you blink and it's like a 14 point game out of nowhere and they just the route was on uh so the browns nine wins they have hit their over uh for the vegas prop um this is now so in the last 13 years, they're now 3-10 for hitting the over in the prop. That's awesome.
So good for them. Also, just a shout out again, Nick Chubb, Wyatt Teller.
We've talked about these guys. So Nick Chubb is one of the best running backs.
Wyatt Teller, one of the best guards. The Browns are 7-1 with those two guys, 2-2 without.
They make a huge, huge difference. And yeah, this is the statement win.
best guards the Browns are seven and one with those two guys two and two without they make a huge huge difference and yeah this is the statement win like Cleveland Browns should wake up this morning and be as happy as they have been if you are a 30 year old Cleveland Browns fan this might actually be the happiest you've ever woken up oh it might be because the last time you made the playoffs was 2016 years ago two two I want. I want to say 2002.
I think 2004. Maybe 2004.
I think they made it one other time. Find it, Jake.
But, yeah, this is awesome for the city of Cleveland. So, yeah, you were like 12 years old.
I would encourage anybody that's looking for a bandwagon team, jump on the Browns bandwagon because they're fun to watch when they play well. They've got a good defense at times.
When Myles Garrett's playing, I should preface it by saying, like, Myles Garrett being on the field makes a giant, giant difference. So did he have the cocoa, or did he just – I think he had it, and I think it might have been, like, he had maybe symptoms.
I don't know. He felt like he was out, and there wasn't a lot of talk abouts came to the playoffs? He's not going to have it again, which is good.
You got it? 2002 lost wildcard playoffs at Steelers. Tim Couch.
Tim Couch. Yeah, that was a Tim Couch, Kelly Holcomb.
Butch Davis. It's been that long.
It's been that long. Offensive coordinator Bruce Arians.
So, yeah. So, shout out.
I want to say it's the longest, but it might be the Bucs. The Bucs might be the longest.

The Bucs haven't made the playoffs in a while.

Are you sure?

The Bucs haven't made the playoffs in a really long time.

That would be crazy.

I feel like they've made it.

I think the – yeah, he'll get the droughts.

He'll get the droughts.

Bucs have been not in the playoffs for a very long time as well.

But, yeah, Cleveland –

Cleveland, be happy.

This is the happiest you have been in a very long time.

Don't let anyone talk shit about your football team. You're a good football team.
And who the fuck knows? Bucs 03. So it's one year after.
So, yeah, the Bucs, that's a long time, right? I didn't realize that. No, I would have guessed much, much later than that.
Yeah, the Bucs have been very bad for a very long time as well. Our in-house Browns fan, Jeff D.
Lowe, was, what's the word, apoplectic? Apoplectic? Apoplectic. Apoplectic.
So, in this game, the Browns fans have been burned before. I get that.
Scratch that. Bucs 07.
Okay. Chris Sims, I think.
I understand. That's right.
They got beat by the Washington football team. Yeah.
That was 05. 07 was wild card to Giants.
Got it. That was Chris Sims, I think.
Both were Chris Sims. Yeah.
He's really an elite quarterback. Yeah, so Jeff D.
Lowe was sitting next to me, as he often does on Sundays, and they were up 20 in the fourth quarter, and he was like, if the Titans score, it's a 13-point game. So he was freaking out the whole time, and as he's freaking out, everything he was freaking out about happened to the Bears.
And I was like, well, that's just – because you know what? It sucks to say, the Bears go to the playoffs, like the Bears sprout up every 10 years with a decent team. That's probably the only difference between the Bears and the Browns.
85, and then the Bears have like every 10 years where they're like, or 8 to 10 years where they're like, oh, here are the Bears. But other than that, they both kind of stink as franchises.
I'll admit that. Yeah, but it's funny watching certain Browns fans think like, okay, this is going to happen.
I've read this book a million times before. We're about to blow a huge fourth quarter lead.
Why can't things ever be easy for us? It's like we're up 20 points against the Tennessee Titans. That's pretty easy.
On the road. That's as easy as you could have hoped for about this game.
So, yeah, the Browns are such a fun team to watch. I'm rooting for the Browns and the AFC.
Browns and the Bills. Kevin Stefanski, Coach of the Year, should definitely be in there.
But, yeah, awesome game for the Browns. It's a statement win we've kind of all been waiting for where, you know, they beat the Colts, who are a good team, playoff team.
But this was the game where, especially with the Titans, what they did to the Colts last week. And the Titans are back to I think we I think we said on Friday but the Titans are officially just I don't I'm not even gonna call them frauds they're gonna be a tough out in January but I do not trust them whatsoever I think Mike variable probably wants to fight his entire team right now yeah because they weren't physical and he should yeah the boys you don't get bullied like I were the boys I would get my fighting gloves on right now.
Shout out the boys. Yeah, I would fight all the boys.
Yeah. Interns, everyone.
Men versus boys. Yeah.
Guys, football guys. Football guys.
Versus football boys. And we're not going to fight them.
No, I would never. But.
I'm a Quaker. Someone should.
All right, next up. Billy, anything? No, I'm fine.
Okay. Next up, Bengals-Dolphins, the game that Red Zone forgot.
Yep, nothing happened. We literally forgot that this game was on.
Tua played. That was nice.
There was a fight? His agent before the game accidentally tweeted out, or I guess he put it on Facebook because he's 90 years old, but he said that Tua was going to be playing, so he's going to go down to the game, watch him play. He immediately deleted that Facebook post and then re-put it up and said, like, I'm going to go down there and watch Dolphins because who knows what could happen.
And so he kind of let the cat out of the bag, but really it didn't matter at all because the Dolphins are a good team. The Bengals are not a good team.
And the Dolphins still very much in the playoff picture. Yeah, and I don't – so we watched some of this game.
And the fight was cool too. The fight was cool.
Seeing Brian Flores run onto the field and having like a bunch of 300-pound guys have to hold him back from trying to fight the entire opposing team. I love to see that.
It also – I mean, the reason why we didn't see red zone is that the Bengals scored like a really long touchdown early, and that was it for them. The Dolphins kicked a bunch of field goals to a like no huddle to a works whatever was the beginning of the game the first half didn't really work and I guess I guess really all you're rooting for right now because two is still I mean it's the sixth game uh you just hope that Brian Flores doesn't have to pull him again yeah I don't think he might keep doing that I think Brian Flores likes pulling him I think I think in his mind he's like he gets off on it he gains a little bit of cred in locker room when he shows that he's not afraid to take out his number two or uh what was he number six fifth the second overall quarterback yes he's not afraid to do something crazy and take him out put the wily old veteran in yeah and so the dolphins though so this one was a game they should have won.
One, you know, again, red zone completely forgot it. The gauntlet starts down, though.
They have the Chiefs next, Patriots, at Raiders, at Bills. If the Dolphins want to be considered real, and real is a subjective term here because they're building something.
They're not like no one's like, hey, the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl. But the Dolphins, if they go two and two down this stretch, people will be talking about the Dolphins.
That would be a 10 and six in playing four good teams and winning two of those games. You'd have no choice but to respect the Dolphins.
So I'm excited to see how they do in this four-game stretch. I think that they're not a real team yet.
They're a dangerous team. The Dolphins are a team that you don't want to play right now.
Here's the one thing that's good for them. They have the Chiefs and the Patriots at home, which I just always assume the Dolphins have a huge home advantage in December when cold-weather teams go there and sweat for the first time in two months.
They're like, this is new. I think it might be the opposite.
I think the teams might be just super excited to go to Miami. Just party.
Just party for a little bit. Now, what's the situation with the cap and the Dolphins? Because I could see Miami being like a free agent destination this offseason.
Really, any time that the Dolphins are halfway decent with an okay quarterback, I assume that players will be lining up to go play in Miami. Well, guess what? They do have, I think, two, maybe three draft picks this year.
So they have the Texans, right? Do they have two first-round picks and two second-round picks coming up? The Dolphins are going to be good. Yeah.
They are doing everything right to build a franchise. And now it all hinges on Tua because you can do everything right, and if the quarterback is not the guy, then you are chasing that mistake forever, Bears.
So you better hope Tua is the guy, but if Tua is the guy, the Dolphins have done everything right, and they will be a force to be reckoned with going forward. I think Tua is a guy.
We'll see if he's a guy. All right, next up, Jaguars-Vikings.
This game was sloppy, frustrating, ridiculous. The Jaguars fought Mike Glennon, like, not terrible.
Mike Glennon took the Jaguars 80 yards or whatever it was to tie the game. And then, of course, there was an interception in overtime.
I don't really know what to make of the Vikings because it feels like they're just in the... Like, last week they were in that game against the Panthers where they win that game coming back.
They lose to the Cowboys. They're 6-6 and right now could easily get into the playoffs, but no one trusts them.
And when they use Dalvin Cook, they look awesome, and when they don't, they look terrible. I think the Vikings kind of take on the personality of whatever team they're playing against yeah they just match and mirror personality like Andy Bernard and Mike Lennon yeah he was he was okay he was electric today he wasn't great but he definitely gives RG3 a run for his money when it comes to like figuring out who the biggest spaz in the league is right Lennon is a total spaz when he's on the field when he looks like he's going to get broken in half.
Sometimes it looks like he's just going to fall down backwards like he slipped on a banana peel by mistake. He'll throw to any linebacker that he sees, and he fumbles all the time.
He's fun to watch. He's one of those runners that he will run at like the absolute, like every other outlet has been exhausted.
He does not want to run.

When he runs, you know he physically just has to run

because there's 17 guys about to take his head off.

Then and only then will he run.

Yeah, his body is not meant to run.

His body is to stand tall in a pocket and deliver a strong pass.

But, yeah, it's like watching a worm fly.

He does not look comfortable at all.

He's run first quarterbacks. He's run last quarterbacks.
Yes, very, very last. As last as they get.
We also had a ton of just really hilariously weird quarterbacks starting this week. I don't want to say like the worst quarterbacks that we've ever seen in one week.
No, definitely don't say that. There's been way worse.
Yeah, way worse. But we had a lot of weird ones like Brandon Allen, Glennon.
We had just a lot of weirdos. Kendall Hinton last week, that's true.
Kaysom Hill qualifies as weird, I think. Still, so Kirk Cousins, let's give Kirk Cousins a shout-out.
He is playing well. Kirk Cousins, I will delete the tweet where I called you a fucking asshole somewhere around like 2 o'clock in the afternoon for a small price.
But last five games, Kirk Cousins, 14 touchdowns, two interceptions, 288 yards a game. He's playing well.
He is playing well. He still makes Kirk Cousins type mistakes every now and then.
That pick six to start the second half was like, oh, God, here we go. Kirk Cousins, what are you doing? But the Vikings fight.

They fight, and they don't give up.

And, like, when Dalvin Cook is going, they are a little bit scary.

And Justin Jefferson.

So Justin Jefferson is now second all-time in rookie receivers

for yards through the first 12 games.

Odell was number one.

Justin Jefferson, Anquan Bolden, Randy Moss, number four. That's pretty good territory.
Yeah, no, he's having a better rookie year than Randy Moss did in Minnesota, which is, I mean, anytime you say that, you're doing something right. And he's, well, I guess through this amount of games, he's still ahead of Josh Gordon.
But that one year that Josh Gordon had. It's just rookie.
It's just rookie years. So this is, it just made me think, though, like what Randy Moss, what a rookie Randy Moss would do to today's NFL.
If he had a good quarterback, yeah. With the pass interference rules.
You know, 22 years ago, the league was very, very different. I think about like the number one receiver 22 years ago would land somewhere like 1,300, 1,400 yards.
Now it's like 1,700, 1,800 yards. Yeah, he'd be in baby brawn territory week in and week out actually you know we always say like uh if Kyrie Irving existed in the 1920s they'd think he was a witch or something like that yeah I I think that if Randy Moss existed now with his same skill set he would be so good that we would think he was a witch in today's NFL.
We should just every now and then just put in a reminder, like remind everyone that Randy Moss is the greatest. And it was insane watching him when he burst on the scene.
Yeah. Like that offense was fucking ridiculous.
And he, I mean, not to bring it back to the Patriots, but he like re-burst on the scene with the Patriots. And that was also as electric to watch.
Like when he started with the Patriots, he was like, he was considered washed up kind of. Yeah, because the Raiders was in between, right? Yeah.
And the Raiders was like the Raiders' Randy Moss was not a good scene. No, he just smoked weed and fished all day when he was in Oakland.
That's it. And then, yeah, he got back.
Randy Moss was one of those guys when you'd watch him run, you'd think he wasn't running fast at all. Oh, yeah.
In reality, he was the fastest player on the field.

He looked like he was jogging and he was running by everyone else.

Yep.

Effortless.

Stride length.

Stride length.

The Vikings schedule coming up.

So they're 6-6.

I actually do think 8-8 can make the playoffs with the way the Cardinals are playing

and with the way the Bears have just fallen off.

And maybe the 49ers will get back into it. We'll see them on Monday night.
But the Vikings do have a tough schedule coming up. They play the Bucs.
They play the Bears. That will be an easy win.
They play at the Saints, and then they play the Lions. So they have the Bears and the Lions, but the Bucs and Saints is going to be tough.
So right now in the NFC, we're penciling in some combination of the Rams, the Seahawks, and then Tampa Bay? So, yeah, I basically did it this way. You're going to have NFC East, the Packers, the Saints, the Rams.
So those are your four. You need three more after that.
I said Bucs, Seahawks, and then the last one will come from Cardinals, 49ers, or Vikings. That seems fair, right? Yep.
So it's really just who can play. Like, if the Cardinals I mean sorry if the 49ers beat the Bills tomorrow night they're absolutely right back in this like there's no doubt about it they're back in this thing yeah which is insane to say with how many injuries they've had and how like you know there's been times where remember when they got blown out by the Dolphins like there have been times when the 49ers have looked deader than dead.
Yeah, they're a team that I can't get a pulse on because they've looked deader than dead, but they've also just blown the shit out of teams. Right.
So, yeah. I like the Rams.
I like the Bucs, obviously. And then I think I am leaning towards the Vikings, which would be crazy considering how they started the year.
Let's see. So, like I said, the said, the Vikings have to play the Bucks and the Saints still, which at Bucks at Saints, which is not easy.
The 49ers have the bills, the Washington football team at the Cowboys at the Cardinals. So you'd say that seems like a, you know, they can go three and one down the Cardinals is a home game for them.
Yes, that's true. Yeah.
They play, they their next four in Arizona. So they're good.
But, yeah, that's not – it'll be interesting. I wouldn't mind seeing the 49ers sneak in there just as a tip to how good of, like, the coach.
Yeah, if the 49ers sneak in, Kyle Shanahan moves up into our Coach of the Year power rankings. Yes, I'd agree.
You've got to put him up there in the top five. There's a really easy recipe to winning Coach of the Year.
I mean, it's not easy to do, but the formula is there. It's if you're a new coach and you turn a team around or if your quarterback gets injured and you overperform expectations.
And throw in just a little dash of we are the definition of prisoners of the moment. Yes.
So if you do something cool on primetime in front of us, we be like like vic fangio right now we're taping this during the third quarter vic fangio's in my coach of the year they're leading the chiefs by four in the third quarter vic fangio might be coach so if that fake punt had worked on thanksgiving for the cowboys mike mccarthy would have been in coach of the year right like wow nobody saw that fake coming from your own eight yardyard line. Right.
If you want, like, well-reasoned takes, if you want people who have thought the long term, this isn't a podcast for you, but you already knew that. We are knee-jerk prisoners of the moment.
And likewise, I wanted to throw Chuck Pagano into an ocean when they're in that fake punt in primetime. Yeah.
Yes. Yes.
Absolutely. Because guess what? Here's even more prison of the moment because I just, I pretty much just canceled the entire Chicago bears franchise.
I'm just going to throw this out there. Texans, Vikings, Jaguars.
I don't know. They could get back in this.
Hmm. Let's see.
That's why today's actually did kind of hurt. Texans, Vikings.
They had to win today. They had to win.
They had to win. They had to win today.
I know they had to win today. And they weren't going to beat the Packers week 17.
No matter what. So speaking of having to win today, if the Browns had lost today, which I think a lot of people expected them to, they were underdogs, it would have been tough for them.
The Browns have a hard schedule coming forward. And it would have taken everybody to a place like, oh, God, here we go again.
Yes. Because they would have had to win two very difficult games.
Jethy Lowe was there. So everyone would have shown up and he would have been like, hey, seat's warm.
Yeah. I'm here for you.
No, but you're right. Today was a very big, like, had to win day for a bunch of teams.
And, you know, the Browns, the Vikings. Oh, you know what today was? The Colts did it.
Last week was moving day. This today was Separation Sunday.
Separation Sunday. It's true.
It feels like the playoff picture is starting to make a lot more sense now. All right, before we get to the next game, the Christmas season is coming up.
I'm thinking about buying a video game for people that I'm close to. You're going to buy it as a gift? I think I'm going to buy someone a video game.

Maybe Billy?

You want to buy somebody a video game so they'll re-gift it to you.

Yeah.

Which is good.

I've got a good recommendation for that.

You do?

I do.

Whoa, that's crazy.

It's called Cyberpunk 2077.

Okay.

It's from our good friends at Project Red.

They are the ones that made The Witcher 3, Wild Hunt,

and now they're coming out with Cyberpunk 2077.

It's an open-world first-person action adventure set in the future of Night City. I like the sound of that.
Is that the one where you're saying that you can create their- You can customize your generals. Okay, I'm getting this game.
I'm getting this game. So like create a player, you can like- Just slip that in there.
Whatever you want. Can I give my dude a micro and make him really aggressive? You can give him a Mangina if you wanted to.
I don't know. I like that.
So you play as V, and V is a cyber-enhanced mercenary taking on the riskiest job of his life. Or his or her.
I'm not sure. I guess you can customize and figure out what you want to do.
You play alongside the legendary Johnny Silverhand played by Keanu Reeves. I'm doubling.
Yes. You're equipped with an ability altering cyberware.
You have high-tech weapons, hacking skills, and more. Experience a mature, multi-layered narrative where your choices shape the story and world around you.
Cyberpunk 2077 is out December 10th. It's coming out this week for Xbox One, PC, and PlayStation 4.
I'm going to play it. I'm going to give it a shot.
It plays great also on Xbox Series X and PlayStation 5. It's rated M for Mature.
That's how you know it's good. M for Mature.
Check it out. Cyberpunk 2077 from our good friends at CD Projekt Red.
Love it. All right.
Next up, Raiders Jets, the greatest tanking win, which actually was a loss of all time. I mean, it was crazy.
This game was crazy. Let's talk about the end of the game.
Let's talk about Dr. Heat.
The very end of the game. Greg Williams, the mad scientist, he's addicted to pinning his ears back and dialing it up.
He loves fucking calling zero blitzes. His name's Dr.
Heat. It's his own nickname.
I think he called himself Dr. Heat.
That's how he he got it dr heat he's he's a blitz fanatic and what's crazy is the last so right off the bat the last two play calls are just indefensible they should have they should have won on the last on the second last ironically it's indefensible and the second to last the dude was more open than on the very last play he just he loves pinning his fucking ears back and so here's a fun stat oh you You got the Schefter one? The Schefter stat, yeah. The Jets sent the house seven pass rushers on the Raiders' game-winning touchdown.
It was a Hail Mary where only a touchdown hurts them. It's unheard of in their data set that goes all the way back to 2006.
They're the only team since 2006 to send six or more pass rushers that met all three of these qualifiers.

The final 15 seconds of regulation

between four and an eight-point lead

and 40-plus yards to the end zone.

There's been 251 pass plays

running that situation since 2006,

and this is the only time

that it's ever been done.

You live by the blitz, you die by the blitz.

You live by the blitz, you die by the blitz. Here's another

fun fact. Fun stat.
Dr. Heat did this exact same thing.
Do you remember? The 2012 divisional round against the 49ers, the Saints versus 49ers. The Saints are up three with a minute and a half left, and he just starts blitzing.
He plays prevent for a couple plays. He he starts blitzing like crazy and the 49ers score a touchdown to win the game like this is dr heat saints fans sorry for the trigger warning you were 13 and 3 that year you you probably should have gone to the super bowl but dr heat showed up and was like guess what we're gonna blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz and then blitz some more and that was the bounty year too right yeah no

i think bounty year was the vikings nfc championship okay because i was gonna say when you're playing against the raiders he was probably against the 49ers he didn't know like they don't have anybody good enough for him to put a bounty on right on offense he's like oh shit if we take him out then we have to deal with nathan peterman so it's i i saw our friend booger tweeted that he thinks that

Dr. Heat just did it because

he hates Adam Gase and

he I saw our friend Booger tweeted that he thinks that Dr. Heat just did it because he hates Adam Gase, and he wants Adam Gase to have an 0-16 record.
Because it's that type of spite, which I totally buy. I respect the hell out of that move if that's what the motivation was.
But it's also just Dr. Heat's addicted to bringing the heat.
He cannot do anything but bring the heat. He calls plays like you say when you're playing Madden and you're like, fuck it.
I'm down 15 points with four minutes left in the fourth quarter. And you just start like mashing buttons to call your defense.
It'd be like going over to Greg Williams' house and being like, having dinner and being like, hey, Greg, I like my steak medium rare. And he's like, no, dude, I'm Dr.
Heat. Like, you're getting it burnt.
I only cook on high heat all the time, 24-7, 365. That's Dr.
Heat, baby. You get in his car, the fucking seat warmers are on.
Dr. Heat.
Which I love. I love that about Greg Williams.
But this was, it was so ridiculous because I did take the Jets' money line. I did tell Big Cat to take the Raiders out of the can't-lose parlay.
For who? For the Seattle Seahawks. Because you hate the Giants.
No, because I thought— You're a Giants hater. No, because the Seahawks.
It was the right call. No, it wasn't.
The Jets should have won this game. It wasn't.
It was objectively not. If it wasn't for the worst defensive play calling in the last 14 years of football— But that's Dr.
Heat. That's Dr.
Heat. You can't say that.
You have to know that if that situation arises, Dr. Heat will be bringing the heat.
I was a little bit correct about the Raiders going through their late season downswing when John Gruden has sleep deprivation and he gets angry all the time because he's lost a couple games and he just falls off a cliff sometimes towards the end of the year but you're right this is this is dr heat it's dr heat and although it was the right call i knew going into it that i'm i'm essentially betting on a rabid badger yeah to coach my defense yeah and so i got fucked over by him you did dr he got you he burnt you uh the raiders we just said save your season kind weekend. This was a full-on save your season game.

Because if the Raiders lose this, they don't come back from it.

And the rest of their schedule isn't super hard.

But this was a game you can't lose to the Jets when you're trying to get into the playoffs.

It's crazy that the Raiders have had this mini swoon where they got absolutely just fucking punked by the Falcons last week.

Then almost lose to the Jets, who are 0-11 or 0-12, whatever it is now, all because they're kind of reading their press clippings because they played the Chiefs close. Yeah.
Like, they didn't even win that game against the Chiefs. You would have thought that they won that game against the Chiefs with how they played the last two weeks.
No, they're just not playing well. guess what a win is a win don't apologize for

wins Derek Carr um oh so Darren Waller was incredible fourth wide receipt fourth tight end

sorry for uh to have 200 yards or more since the NFL merger that's crazy only four Greg Kittle was

had it two years ago no big deal I think he had it in half so yeah he did but Darren Waller was

insane today Derek Carr is so good at climbing the pocket and then throwing it to no one

Thank you. years ago no big deal I think he had it in half so yeah he did but Darren Waller was insane today Derek Carr is so good at climbing the pocket and then throwing it to no one yeah every time he climbs the pocket I'm like oh my god he's climbing the pocket this is great like he doesn't float like Mahomes he's actually better at climbing the pocket than Mahomes well I think that it just it looks that way to us watching because you put yourself in a quarterback shoes and anytime somebody steps towards a defensive line running directly at them, you're like, that guy's fucking awesome.
Yeah, you're like, completion. You're like, oh, he sees someone.
Here it comes. I think that's Peyton Manning in our brain.
Yeah, I would run away if I were in that position. Right, stepping up and being like, oh, here comes an easy completion.
He did it three or four times where he just beautiful step up, pockets collapsing around him, beautiful pocket presence, throws the ball, not a receiver within 15 yards. Now, if you're a Jets fan, you have to put this in a little bit of perspective because you might.
There's a world where five years from now, you look back at the hiring of Adam Gase and Greg Williams, and that's the most important move any franchise has ever made. The profit.
You look back fondly on those years. You're like, you know what? We had to go through a little bit of hell to get to heaven.
And they're doing a great job of tanking. You could not have designed the end of that game any better if you were Greg Williams and you were trying to get Trevor Lawrence, which they will get Trevor Lawrence, but Greg Williams won't be around there to reap the benefits of it whatsoever yes it was just him doing a solid for every jets fan out there i so i totally agree he is he reminds me we have a uh new hire here at barstool his name's ben mince he's from louisiana he's an old miss grad he actually calls elijah moore the guy who did the fake piss yeah in the end zone the prophet, because that started a string of events that got him hired at Barstool.
Like, you know, whoever the fat guy got fired. Lane Kiffin got hired.
Ole Miss was a little good. They win a big game.
He gets taped celebrating the big game. Dave sees him, hires him.
Elijah Moore is a prophet. Adam Gase is your prophet.
You could also draw a lot of connections to that first piss in the Egg Bowl and then Mississippi changing their state flag. Yes.
There's a lot of – He's the prophet. That is the butterfly effect.
Elijah Moore is the prophet. We should rename the butterfly effect of just like the Moore pissing effect.
To Elijah Moore. Yeah.
The state of Mississippi has created a massive ripple effect across the country. But you're right.
That's the moment with Adam Gase and Greg Williams. The two of them are just, I don't know why they ever agreed to work together.
Just another bit of brilliance from Adam Gase, like finding the one guy that could make him worse as a head coach and hiring him as your defensive coordinator, knowing that that guy would do everything that he could to undermine you, so you're not in any danger of your defense accidentally getting good enough to win you games. Yeah.
It's just, it's a stroke of brilliance. Now that I'm thinking about it, the only thing that could have made this Jets team better in terms of just unlikable characters leading them to an 0-16, we should have had Todd Haley call an offensive place.
God damn it. Could you imagine? I mean, that would have been perfect.
I think that Greg Williams and Todd Haley, they can't coexist. Hugh Jackson was the only mastermind that could have put those two in a room and had them not kill each other.
Well, because Hugh Jackson would just, anytime they got mad at each other, he'd be like, I'm the boss. Yeah.
I'm the boss. He's like, I'm going to go with, he'd just alternate which side that he would take.
So it didn't seem like he was playing favorites but Jets fans I saw a graphic and it was the end of a game win probability it was first pick probability and there was a moment in time where the Jets were winning and the Vikings were winning before Mike Glennon took the drive against the Jaguars where the Jets basically was like a 50-50 chance the Jets would have the first pick and then it goes back to normal. So the Jets, you're still on plan.
Like you have to root for them to lose. You cannot have them do anything else.
You have to be thrilled with this loss. This is actually the I said at the beginning here, but that's the best tanking loss you could ever have because the game was fun.
Sam Darnold looked okay. Hyper drive worked for a little bit, and you win the game, and then you lose it because of Dr.
Heat. There's nothing better than that.
Sam Darnold looked okay, but he also didn't look that okay. He had some bad turnovers in this game.
Sam Darnold had four touchdowns, rushing and passing combined, between weeks one and 12.

He had three this week.

So that's why he looked okay.

Yeah.

He almost doubled his touchdowns in one game.

Dr. Heath, though.

In week 13.

You know who else lived by the Blitz and died by the Blitz?

Who?

The H-Man.

Oh, H-Man.

Also liked a tank. I should have seen that coming.

Big tankers.

I should have seen that coming.

All right, next up, Colts, Texans.

The Texans, that snap at the end of the game.

Here's a take you're going to hear a lot going forward,

similar to the – is this Bill Belichick's best coaching job

for a seven-and-seven Patriots team?

Is this Deshaun Watson's best season?

Because he actually has been playing incredible, and he's got no –

I mean, DeAndre Hopkins got traded. Will Fuller just got popped for roids or whatever maybe adderall he's got no one to throw to and he's got a terrible or not a terrible but not great offensive line not a lot of weapons around him and he's playing great he's like been incredible since bill o'brien left next week in vegas is going to be huge for the Colts.
Yes.

Next week, so pretty much whoever loses that game

is out of the picture entirely.

The Colts, I was ready to slap the fraud label on the Colts,

and I probably still should.

But again, as a prisoner of the moment situation,

they end up winning the game.

Well, so the reason why I wouldn't throw the fraud on them

is that I've never considered them true Super Bowl contenders.

That's only because they lost week one to the Jaguars. Yes, but fraud, you have to be a Super Bowl contender for me to be like fraud.
Going into the season, I thought that the Colts would be a playoff contender. They would win a game in the playoffs.
Because I was like, Phillip Rivers will look natural and blue in that color that they wear. So my dumb brain had them pegged in as the fourth best team in the AFC.c and mostly that it was that and also you hear so much talk about how good their offensive line is so i was like yeah they could be legit the colts could be legit yeah but um yeah they're they're uh they're two schizophrenic for me right now they are and i mean deshaun watson been playing well the colts survived this game the one good thing if you're you're banged up on the offensive line colts so if so if you're a Colts fan, you're like, all right, if we get healthy on the offensive line, it might look a little bit better.
DeForest Buckner makes a huge, huge difference, which we knew because he was out last week. He got roasted by the Titans.
And then the biggest takeaway I had of this game is Phil Rivers and T.Y. Hilton finally feel like they're on the same page.
Because T.Y. Hilton's been bad this year.
I don't know if that's because they don't have any connection. He just hasn't been T.Y.
Hilton. There was a stretch there where T.Y.
Hilton was in that top 10 receiver class. Now he has a good game.
It feels like they're on the same page. That makes them dangerous.
Even though Phil Rivers is 39 years old and like can't move, it makes them dangerous. But they didn't take Phil Rivers out that much this week, or at least the parts of the game that I saw.
No, they didn't seem like they were going back and forth between him and Jacoby Brissett as much as they were. So no, they actually, I think Jacoby Brissett only came in twice.
Was it for Hail Mary's? No, it was for rushes. He won 12 catches in the last two games.
The previous four games, 10 catches. So there you go.
He's a big rhythm guy. It feels like they're finally getting it.
And also my favorite clip of all time, the 4-5, when he was crying because his kid was born. It was such a funny clip.
Unintentionally. I miss his touchdown celebrations, too, The T.Y.
Yes. Not many people can do their initials with their arms.

T.Y.

Yes.

So, good win for the Colts.

They needed it.

J.J.

Y.

Is on my hot seat.

Oh.

Simulating smoking marijuana during the game.

He says he was drinking tea.

But, I don't know.

To me, you can make the judge on your own if you look at the video of it.

Looked like he hit it twice and then passed.

He wasn't inhaling, though. Which would be on brand for J.
so that's true uh-huh um i just realized there was only there's only two points in the second half of this game yeah oh yeah crazy that pissed me off oh you had the over yeah i will it i think the over hit and let's see what's the final score 26 20 no the over didn't hit yeah two points i was watching in the first half i was like okay this is one i can forget about no fuck that no um but yeah so yeah phil rivers i mean he was effective he's phil rivers basically you're just hoping he he's like 75 completion percentage and every pass is like you know eight to ten yards you just hope that he doesn't dislocate any major joints i think he has some kind of injury he's fighting through he always does yeah he doesn't talk about it. No, because he's a fucking warrior.
He's like the opposite of Ben. Played on a torn ACL.
He really actually is the opposite of Ben. How is that possible? How come Philip Rivers can play on a torn ACL and no one else has ever tried to do that? Right.
It's crazy. Yeah, Billy.
He doesn't need his ACL. It's true.
He doesn't move a lot. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Byron Lefkowitz played on a broken leg.
Yeah. I've heard that when you repair an ACL under today's modern technology, it can actually come back stronger than it was before.
So I'm wondering, are there going to be any like super high school football dads that preemptively tear their kids ACL, like give them elective surgery where they repair it before it even gets torn in the first place? It's not a bad idea. Not a bad idea.
All right. So that was the...
You should have done that, Billy. That was the morning...
If you really love football, you would. That was the craziest witching hour we've had this year, which is great because if you look at those games when you went into this Sunday, you're like, ugh, there's no really good games.
But that's the beauty of the witching hour. That's the beauty of having all those games at once.
Like, just chaos. When football is hitting in that early slate, there's no better drug on earth that can come closer.
I was just looking at my TV, going back and forth between my three screens, and just screaming. I was just, like, yelling.
I had no idea. Like, you couldn't even catch your thoughts up to what had just happened because something else equally as crazy overtook it immediately.
Yeah. And that's the best feeling in the world.
It feels like we haven't had too many of those witching hours no it's true we had it all at the same time the falcons were trying to make a comeback the bears were pissing down their leg the uh the jaguars and vikings were mike glennon was driving down the field and going to overtime the jet the raiders were winning on a hail mary and then the texans fumbled on the one yard line. That all happened in like a 10 minute stretch where it's just, it's so hard to win in this league.
I'm talking about gambling right now. I'm not even talking about the real players.
Because guess what? I got something to say for all the players out there. Sitting on the couch and trying to get a bet home is way harder than playing in the NFL.
Fact. There's a reason why, yeah.
There's a reason why they're out there and we're in here. Yeah, way harder.
I'm not saying way harder in terms of getting there. Obviously, it's harder to get to the NFL, duh.
But in terms of getting a bet to win, it's harder than actually playing in the NFL. Yeah, and the thing is you have to monitor your bets too.
If you take your eye off a bet, like that

Colts-Texans game, if you

say to yourself, okay, I don't need to

micromanage this one, it's just going to go

crazy without your supervision. You're going to end up

fucking it all over. My Jets bet.

The only reason the Raiders-Jets overhit

was because I put a red alert on it.

I put a red alert on it in the middle of the third

quarter, and I was like, hey, they're kind of

not scoring right now, and they're just trading the ball

back and forth. Red alert.
And then they picked

it up. I had Browns money line too.
I took my

Thank you. I put a red alert on it in the middle of the third quarter, and I was like, hey, they're kind of not scoring right now, and they're just trading the ball back and forth.
Red alert. And then they picked it up.
I had Brown's money line too. I took my eye off the ball in that game.
You know what I did? I had one computer that was set up to just watch that game, and I changed it. I put it on the Vikings game.
Can't do it. And when I did, I looked back at it, and it was like, wait, what's this? There's an onside's kick? Dude, red alert.
You just feel them coming. All right, afternoon slate.
Rams-Cardinals. The Rams kick the shit out of the Cardinals.

The Cardinals are, if we're

doing coach of the year, the Bizarro

World, what's the Stranger Things?

Upside Down World? Coach of the Year?

Cliff Kingsbury's in the running.

Yeah, we call that the Hugh Jackson Award.

Yeah, he's a big turd

dum-dum. We should actually do

off the top of our head, Hugh Jackson Award, so it's got to be a coach who's still coaching. Okay, so Nagy, Anthony Lynn.
Anthony Lynn and Cliff Kingsbury. Who was the coach of the 1-10 Niners team that went to 6-10 that we talked about last week? Ooh.
They probably deserved it. Who was it? I don't know.
It wasn't Chip Kelly, was it? Garoppolo won all six of those games after the trade. What year was that? 2017.
Was it 2016 or 2017? It might have been Chip Kelly. I think it was Shanahan.
Was it? No, Shanahan. Yeah, Shanahan started.
It was with the Garoppolo trade. Well, no, Shanahan was 2016 because he was still at the Falcons, right? Oh, yeah.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't Chip Kelly.
It was Shanahan, but he didn't have anybody. It was Shanahan.
He didn't have a good quarterback. It was Shanahan.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
So, yeah, Shanahan won. I mean, he should have won Coach of the Year that year.
I think Anthony Lynn runs away with it. Yeah.
And you can't say. But Cliff Kingsbury's, listen, the Cardinals now have lost four out of five, and the only win was Kyler Murray's Hail Mary against the Bills.
Like, this is, they have, in my personal estimation, they've lost five straight. Okay.
I'm going to throw it out there. Then under my personal estimation, John Gruden lost.
Adam Gase beat him this weekend. Oh, okay.
I'm counting that. Greg Williams won this weekend.
Yes. This season's masterpiece.
The Cardinals are bad. Speaking of good coaches, the Rams are now 32-0 when leading at halftime under Sean McVay.
That's a pretty good coach. That means you're a pretty good coach when you can hold on.
Anyone can get a lead. Not anyone can hold on to a lead.
I think the Rams are going to go for a run. I think the Rams are a very dangerous team right now.
I've been saying it for a while. They are a matchup problem for pretty much every team in the NFC except the San Francisco 49ers.
If the Rams can somehow avoid the San Francisco 49ers and Kyle Shanahan owning Sean McVay, they do cause a problem. Think about it.
With Aaron Donald, especially, I mean, I would say maybe the Packers because Rodgers can at least move, but Brees and Brady, a pass rush coming up the middle for Brees and Brady is a big, big break. I actually kind of like the Rams against the Packers.
I think that that's a team that might be able to be like, hey, Packers, you're soft. We at least have a solid hard-hitting defense.
Plus you have the whole LeFleur-McVay connection. So McVay is like his master and probably has mental control over his powers.
So I like that. If you look at the Rams' schedule, really the only team besides the Niners that they've been mismatched against is the Dolphins.
That one trip. Yeah.
When they outplayed them, by the way. They completely outplayed them.
They did. It was just fluky shit that happened.
Yeah, the fluke. Yeah, I've been on the Rams.
That was when Tua lit them up for like two completions. I bet the Rams at half too.
See, going down the list here, they lost at the Bills 35-32. I wouldn't consider that a terrible loss.
Well, that was another game where they came back in the second half. They were dead in the first half, and they came back, and they just absolutely torched the i've been on the rams for like a month now i think they're so you're going to be a tough out using our qualifiers of eliminating kyle shanahan the rams might be they might be like a top three team in the nfc yes absolutely absolutely and you know how we used to do josh rosen stat lines we should start doing jared goff stat lines because every single week he's like 35 for 45.
Dude, he's been throwing the fucking ball. He throws it so much, and it's awesome.
And they're Cooper Cup. Now you want to talk about – here's a hot take.
Here's a hot take. Team has Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey on it.
Most important player, Cooper Cup. I like it.
I mean, they do look totally different when he's out there. Last year, their offense kind of went to shit.
I like to just always toss out the fact that it's their tight end that makes the offense go. What, Higby? Robert Woods? Robert Woods, yes.
No, no, no, he's a receiver. But yeah, Cooper Cup, most important player on the Rams.
There it is. I said it.
Shout out, by the way. I just love that the Cardinals got out to a 7-0 lead on a 59-yard touchdown to a guy named Dan Arnold.
Yeah. From Milwaukee.
Yeah. A white dude named Dan Arnold.
I saw that pop up. That was like one of the push notifications that I got on my phone.
I was like, there's no way that that's real. Bro, you were supposed to be like a sheet metal guy, not a fucking wide receiver.
Your name's Dan Arnold. I just loved it.
I just giggled to myself. There can't be a lot of Dan Arnolds out there.
I'm looking at their schedule here. They have to play at the Patriots, and then...
No, the Patriots play at that. Oh, they play at the Rams? On Thursday night, yeah.
And then they get to play the NFC West again, basically. Yeah.
Yeah, no, the Rams are a very good football team. It's just, like, Kyle Shanahan just owns them because it makes them look foolish.
And I don't know, is Whitworth definitely out for the year? I think so. I'm pretty sure.
It looked like he was just based on the way that he went off the field. Because they are one of those teams, and this is not rocket science, but they're such an offensive line team where if they're offensive, kind of like the 49ers, where when everything's working, it looks like ballet out there because they're doing play action and golf is moving in the pocket.
And then when it's not, it just all falls apart and looks like shit. Larry Fitzgill did not have a reception today.
Oh, wow. I feel like that's breaking some sort of streak.
yeah um all right so yeah the cardinals i put a fork in the cardinals they're done they're done because you know why they have to go play the goodish team in the history of good teams are you guys ready to apologize to me the giants are a good team i think the giants are good they're Yes, they're a good team. There you go.
Way to go. They're a good team.
Now, I will say they only put up 17 points against the worst pass defense in the history of the NFL. Colt McCoy.
With Colt McCoy. Colt McCoy.
And you know what? You know why they're so good, Big Cat, is because they have great players like Colt McCoy, Graham Gonneau, and Alfred Morris. Yes.
All former Washington football team members. No, it's a coincidence, but they've got – yes, the Giants are a good team.
Their defense is a good defense. They're a good team.
They're a good team. I'm happy you finally – like, I got heckled in this room for saying they were a good team three weeks ago.
I got heckled. They were.
Hank, you heckled me. I said at the time they were good adjacent.
No, you guys heckled me. I said they're good adjacent.
Rightfully so. You heckled me.
They've won four straight, and they're a good team. Here's the highest compliment I can pay to a team, and I'll pay it to the Giants.
They are gritty. Tyree Kill just did his flip into the end zone again.
That's so cocky. I hope this comes back.
This would be so funny if it came back after all that. That's just a bad comment.
No, they're a good team. No, you're underselling them.
I just paid them the biggest compliment that I should. What did you say? They're gritty.
Yeah, no, they're definitely gritty. They are gritty fucking football team.
They're big-time gritty. This Colt McCoy, serviceable, whatever.
Their defense won the game. If Daniel Jones played in this game, the Giants probably win it by, like, a couple scores.
Because they didn't have anything out of their passing game. They had 100 yards passing.
This is a good football team. They are a good football team.
They held the Seahawks, who scored 31 points a game, to 12 points. I could also put this spin zone on them.
And that's that they face a gauntlet in the division. So they're battle-tested.
giants iron sharpens iron iron sharpens iron they're three you know against washington football teams this year now that's they call it back yeah they called it back after tiger kill did that whole thing oh wow flip dude that's embarrassing sweet flip for nothing that's why i never flip anymore yep uh what are you gonna say billy i like colt mccoy as a starter more than daniel jones for the giants he's a He's less volatile. Yeah, a lot of people are saying they should bench Daniel Jones for the rest of the year.
I agree with that. Slow and steady wins the race.
He hasn't been throwing picks, though. But, yeah, the Giants, like this PFT, this is tough for the Washington football team because the Giants, we thought this was going to be a loss.
Now they have the Cardinals who are absolutely reeling, the Browns, the Ravens, and the Cowboys. The Giants can absolutely finish 2-2 here, and if the Giants finish 2-2, that means the Washington football team has to finish 4-1.
Yeah, I hate this win for the fact that also it dashes my hopes of having a 6-10 division winner. Yeah.
Because I don't think that's not realistic anymore. I think they're going to get two wins.
I think they're going to beat one of the Cardinals and Browns and then the Cowboys. Yeah, they could lose all those games.
It's a possibility. Yeah.
But it's unlikely. Don't do that.
You're not. It's unlikely.
That's not what you say about a good football team. It's unlikely.
A story came out this week. I don't know if you saw this.
This was a fun little nugget that was put out by the New York Post. Wayne Gallman said that one time Eli Manning farted in my face.
Oh, I think I've heard that story before. Eli is like a big fart.
Not from Wayne Gallman, but I think he's a big like fart joke guy. Fart in my face.
He's like the Greg Maddox, the unassuming butt humor guy. But I think that's all he has.'s all he has well i learned it from his brother payton i was gonna say that's good that it was only a fart yeah then not his balls across your face odell gets insanely jealous that's probably why i asked for a trade yes absolutely uh the seahawks what the fuck i you can't lose this game if you're the seahawks i mean this is it was a classic seahawks game too because they were winning five nothing in the first half yeah and they're playing Colt McCoy like I know that I know the Giants are a good football team but guess what you're at home and you have Russell Wilson who remember when Russell Wilson was him remember Kyler Murray was the MVP for a couple weeks there you know what's so that's 10 years ago I don't think Russell Wilson's gonna get an to get an mvp vote he shouldn't no he shouldn't and he's still obviously like what i don't know third best quarterback uh whatever you want to do ranking wise he's up there still but yeah if he doesn't get an mvp vote i don't want to hear the stories next year that he's never gotten an mvp vote when you have patrick mahomes you know what's funny is this is a week where pete car Pete Carroll should have reverted to old Pete Carroll and been like, we're going to establish the fucking run.
We have to just eat up the clock, hand the ball to Chris Carson. I think he was averaging five yards a carry, only got the ball 13 times.
He swung. Pete Carroll has swung the pendulum too far in the Russ Cook department.
It needs to come back. Russell Wilson threw the ball 43 times, 263 yards.
Yeah. Not a bad game, but...
Balanced offense matters. Actually, no, not a good game.
No. Not a good game for Russell Wilson.
No, he wasn't good. You have Chris Carson back.
Chris Carson is a top-five running back in the NFL. You should hand him the fucking football.
The Giants' defensive plan was very, very good, though. They had pressure all day.
They fucked Russ up. And, I mean, they're a good defense.
But I just, you're the Seahawks, and, like, I don't know what to make of them. I think the Seahawks are destined for the most entertaining playoff game of the year in a loss.
Like, we're going to watch the Seahawks playoff game. It's going to be awesome.
It's going to be instant classic. And they're going to lose.
And we're going to be like, okay, well, you know what? At least we remembered them. Well, what could happen is they could have to travel to play the Giants again when they get Daniel Jones back, and then we'll really get to find out who should be starting for that team.
Oh, boy. Or they would play the football team on the road.
And I think the Seahawks are the team that has eliminated the football team, I want say the last three times from the playoffs oh you know who you know what might end up happening in the nfc the new york football giants hosting kirk cousins and the vikings and that will be i will put my life on the new york football giants because that is gritty tough football team out in the weather versus Kirk Cousins looking short in his purple uniform. So if that game happens.
Purple helmet. He won't have the full purple uniform.
I actually think that Mike Zimmer would rather coach the New York Giants than the Minnesota Vikings. He'll meet Joe Judge in the middle and be like, how about a little wife swap? Yeah, you want to switch it around? You want to go swinging? Your team's lookingitty if i were mike zimmer i would not i would not give up what i've got going right now for a swinging situation no have you seen that yes that will make your jaw drop yes mike zimmer's girlfriend yes mike zimmer's doing congratulations not a football guy move but that's okay but still wow maybe that's new age i guess his eyes are working okay yeah that's new age for one of them one of them yeah one yeah um she just always thought he was winking at her uh all right let's before we do the next one i was wondering pft we've been watching football all day all weekend eating not so great yeah got something clean up yeah i'm gonna have a lot to clean up okay that's way how do i do it best way to clean up big cat you know this though because, Dude Wipes.
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benched for Jalen Hurts.

You had a theory.

Yeah, I think Carson Wentz has sensory overload.

I think that he's got issues with noise,

just with quick motions in front of him.

Decision-making?

Yeah, no, it's a lot of stuff. So I looked up symptoms for sensory overload.
Tell me this doesn't sound like Carson Wentz. The inability to converse or connect with others, running away from specific places or situations, placing your hands over your ears frequently, crying or looking like you're about to cry.
There was no sadder sight, by the way, when Carson Wentz tried to dress up like Cam Newton yeah but was just very sad that his whole body was crying at the yes and then avoiding specific places or avoiding specific situations like a defensive line or an end zone spinning the wrong way the wrong way the symptoms are anxiety irritability and restlessness I think I think Carson's scared of loud noises he probably sucks at hunting now so you probably can't be around a gun do you know what they need is they need to get him uh a weighted uh jacket yeah like a big weighted jacket yeah instead of a weighted blanket a flak jacket yeah goes on under the pads keep them keep them feeling secure i think that's a great idea put it your dog. Get him some Xanax.
Get him something because watching him gives me anxiety. Yes.
Because he looks so scared out there. But Hurts got in.
He looked good. Is it official, you think? I mean, here's the craziest part.
Everyone talks about, you know, like, oh, you got to move on from Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz's four-year, $128 million dollar contract it hasn't kicked in yet.
How much is it paid right now? It hasn't kicked in yet. Like we keep talking about Carson Wentz and how he signed the deal hasn't kicked in yet.
So they gave him that deal. It hasn't started.
But when they gave him the deal I think they knew that they had to give it. Yes.
Because Peterson was like, we need to show confidence in him. We need to give him a grand gesture so that he'll feel comfortable and get back to playing like his old enemy.
Yes. It's like getting somebody pregnant to try to save a marriage or to try to get engaged with somebody and be like, hey, yeah, I'm carrying your baby.
Right. You step up the relationship in hopes that they'll step their game up too.
In this case, the exact opposite happens. Well, and there was a report that Carson Wentz is part of the reason why he's playing poorly is because Jalen Hurts is over his shoulder.
So that means Carson Wentz could just never have an adequate backup? Yeah. Like that's just what we're saying here? So if the guy who constantly dives headfirst into things and gets injured can't have a safety blanket behind him to maybe help the franchise i i know they can trade him which they'd still have to eat a lot of the contract but it's just crazy like there's it hasn't kicked in yet i think i think there's an out in 2022 so it's basically like kind of you know all contracts in the NFL are kind of bogus when

they say like oh it's a four-year contract well you can move on after two years I think it's two

years but it's crazy to think when what is he making this year Jake what is he making this

year and what is he going to make next year I think it's significant and you should say part of

part of it's on the Eagles because they haven't gotten decent weapons around him but a lot of

it's Carson they've almost been doing the exact opposite right and like trying really hard not to

give you because they haven't gotten decent weapons around him, but a lot of it's Carson Wentz. They've almost been doing the exact opposite and trying really hard not to give him any weapons.
You can... Yeah, Jake? 2020, 1,383,000.
2021, 15.4. It hasn't kicked in yet.
Maybe that's from Carson Wentz's poor and he can't afford a weighted blanket. Or you know what they should do? They should pump in white noise into his quarterback headset.
Yes, yes. 2021, 15-4, 2022, 22 million, 2023, 20 million, 2024, 21 million.
I think that's a problem. So they can get out of 2022, but they can't just cut him.
I think that's like a dead cap of $60 million or something ridiculous. They could find somebody to trade for him, though.
NFL teams are so desperate. I'll take him on the Bears.
Yeah, he will be a Bear. Yeah, I'll take him on the Bears.
I think that's like a dead cap of like 60 million dollars they could find somebody to trade for him though and if those teams are so desperate yeah he will be a bear yeah i'll take him i i think that no no he's gonna be a cult we said we already said this roan our friend roan said this he the phil brewers is not obviously gonna be there for more than maybe a year more but i wouldn't even i don't know if you would even do that if you're the colts. And he'll get reunited with Frank Reich and be behind a good offensive line.

They've got a couple nice little young weapons.

So he will be a Colt.

And guess what?

Unfortunately for Philly fans, he's going to be good.

He will be good again.

He'll play in a dome.

He'll have the sensory overload.

He'll be a little bit quieted.

I could see him going to the Bears, though.

I think that the Bears might make a move for him. Just Big Cat.
No. Big Cat, you guys paid, what, $15 million to Mike Lennon? No.
And like $20 million to Nick Foles. It does suck, though, for Carson Wentz that you've been a starting quarterback in the NFL for like four years and you're still poor.
Yeah. Well, no, because he was a first-round draft pick.
Yeah, but he's still- So he made like $25 million. Yeah, but he's a broke boy.

He's making $1 million a year.

What did he make the first year?

No, no, that's how it goes, though.

It's like the first year is a shitload of money.

Yeah.

And then it's less.

Like, he probably made $20 million his first year.

But he spent that all on medical bills.

With a signing bonus and everything.

Yeah, and shingling his house with dead ducks.

He hasn't been good since then.

He hasn't.

He probably got spooked from all the loud noises on that one hunting trip. He saw all those dead animals and now he's got PTSD.
In 2019, his salary was $720,000 but his signing bonus was $16,367. So he's good.
In 2016, his signing bonus was $17.6. Yes, that's the first round.
You always get a shitload of money. After taxes, that's only like $10 million.
After taxes, this guy is yeah i think you i think you just go with jalen hurts now i now doug peterson did do doug peterson by the way he's on the hot seat the report is out there um and he did the old well we needed a spark which is essentially saying i'm not going to do it yet like yeah i don't want to officially say it we needed aalen Hurts gave you a spark. Punt return helped a lot, but he at least gave you a spark.
Billy was yelling that Jalen Hurts basically gets credit for that punt return. I actually agree with Billy.
The energy change. Yeah, the energy changes.
Yeah, Vod check. I did notice the defense was running a little bit faster.
They were buzzing. Yeah, the boys were buzzing out there.
Doug Peterson is a guy that would be on the open market for probably less than a day if he were to no longer be an Eagles-type coach. I would think so.
Winning a Super Bowl makes it pretty hard to not. I mean, Adam Gase got hired again.
That's true, yeah. He didn't do anything.
Literally, he did nothing. Doug Peterson to the Jets.
Ooh. Doug Peterson to the Jets.
Doug Peterson, Trevor Lawrence. No, no, Justin Fields.
Yeah, you want Justin Fields.

All right, Aaron Rodgers, should mention it, 400 club.

So he's the seventh quarterback all time to reach 400 touchdown passes.

Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Dan Marino,

Bubby Brister.

Those are in the 400 club.

Also, I didn't know this.

I was just joking about the last one.

I passed that by you. Yeah, you did.
Bubby Brister? Yeah. No, Phil club.
Also, I didn't know this. I was just joking about the last one.
I passed that by you. Yeah, you did.

Bubby Brister? Yeah. No, Phil Rivers

is the sixth, and then Aaron Rodgers.

Just going to throw this out there, guys.

Just going to throw this out there.

Ben Roethlisberger will get 400. He's 12

away. Matt Ryan will get

400. He's 60

away. Matt Stafford,

if he plays

five more years, or four more years, actually, and has 30 touchdowns a year which isn't crazy he will get there and on top of that just gonna throw this out there everyone who has 300 touchdowns or more is in the hall of fame oh shit so tom brady obviously gonna go drew brees gonna go peyton manning brett farve dan marino phil river's gonna go rogers Ro. So Tom Brady obviously going to go.
Drew Brees going to go. Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Dan Marino.

Phillip River's going to go.

Rodgers, Roethlisberger going to go.

Eli's going to go.

Fran Tarkins is in.

Matt Ryan, who knows?

John Elway has 300 on the dot.

Everyone who has 300 or more.

So when everyone says that I'm crazy for the Matt Stafford take, well, I probably am.

And you have to adjust it.

He will.

My argument has always been that numbers will be Hall of Fame worthy because everyone who has over 300 touchdown passes is in the Hall of Fame. I hope that they put the Bolo tie in Phillip River's bust.
Yeah, that'd be so awesome. That'd be great.
So here's a fun little stat about the Packers. I didn't expect this.
I knew that they were going for it more often on fourth down. They're far and away the team that is the most likely to go for it.
Look at Matt LaFleur. The New York Times has a go-for-it bot, which, by the way, is there anything that will make a coach punt faster than telling them the New York Times says that you should go for it here? Joe Judge, hey, the New Yorkers should hit you up.
No, New Yorkers tell you when you can jack off at your computer when there's not a webcam at you. The New York Times go for it, but they came down with some weird formula for it.
But the Packers are the biggest outlier by far, so they're going for it all the fucking time on fourth down, which is pretty cool, getting Aaron Rodgers. It makes sense.
If you have Aaron Rodgers as your quarterback, you should be going for it way more often than almost any other quarterback. I'm surprised at the Ravens, I guess because ravens have struggled this year but they were it felt like anecdotally speaking like last year they were go for it all the time that was the story about the about the ravens last year was like well that was just lamar jackson telling harbaugh like hey we're gonna go for him yeah okay good so look at you matt laflore yeah getting freaky i just imagine that like some some packer fan in sheboygan is just disgusted with how often they're going for it.
Oh, yeah. The New York Times has a needle on election night of when you should go for it.
80% you should go for it here. Yeah.
All right. By the way, yeah.
How about the nerd that they got from the election season in his khaki pants giving us... That's NBC.
You've lost me there. I'm sorry, but I don't need that.
The guy's harmless. He's gotten a lot of mentions in the comparison.
What's his name? Steve Kornacki, I believe. Steve Kornacki? Yeah.
I don't know. I'd rather have, like, a fat dude with a mustard stain who's like, wait, hold on, let me check real quick.
The Giants, how many games have they played? And just constantly fumbling. So Kornacki is almost too competent too competent that's what his issue is also he's he looks too much like a nerd to pull off that color of khakis yes because from the waist down he's Carhartt and from the belt up he's Brooks Brothers right and he the problem with with Kornacki is I want a relatable playoff hunt guy, which is every single NFL fan out there,

I'm including myself in there,

where I could, we're doing the show right now,

and I have a grasp of it.

Tomorrow morning, I will have to re-look it up.

Yeah.

And be like, wait, who's on, what, wait,

how many games have they had their bye yet?

That is the most relatable.

Like, constantly, this time of the season,

I'm constantly having to relearn who's in the playoffs, who's not, who has who left, who has a bye, who are they playing, all that shit. I basically relearn it every day.
I need Kevin James buzzed off two domestic beers to be standing in front of a green screen trying to figure this out for me. I'm Groundhog Day.
I'm Bill Murray. Every day I wake up and I try to relearn who's in the hunt in the playoff.

He's harmless, so I don't have an issue with him.

But it doesn't make sense to me as a football fan

because the only playoff picture I really understand

is what I have in front of me on the ESPN playoff machine at any given time.

And right now this is my playoff picture

where I just have the Giants losing every single game from here on out

and the football team winning every single one.

So I don't trust a guy who goes exactly by the numbers.

You have to have some sort of homer bias in you.

See, I'm an old school.

I like to just pull up the standings and just take a look at them

and just try to decipher from there.

Yeah, I just kind of go back up and down looking like,

okay, 6-6.

Wait, is anyone else 6-6?

Then you always miss a team.

All right, last game, Patriots-Chargers. Wait, is anyone else 6-6? Then you always miss a team.
All right. Last game, Patriots Chargers.

Hank, 500 Thursday night.

If you win Thursday night against the Rams, you're all the way back in, right?

Yeah.

All the way back in.

I mean, winning out's a possibility.

This was.

Probability, I would say.

I don't want to say.

Listen, I'm a terrible gambler.

Everyone knows that.

Don't follow my picks.

1-800-GAMBLER if you need help. We did we did say though on friday bill belichick versus anthony lynn we said that we said that so let's just at least take credit for the fact that we told you bill belichick versus anthony lynn never in your entire life should you take anyone but bill belichick this was no brainer it was an ass and it's exactly what the charges needed at this.
Because you can't, there's no way now that you can justify bringing that thing. No, he should be fired now.
He should be fired during mid-game. He should be fired.
After the second, the Chargers special teams, by the way, historically have been awful. Three phases.
This was a noteworthily awful performance. Well, they got Gunner'd.
They got Gunner'd big time. Gunnerard Olveski.
This was a game where we were like, okay, Belichick's

going to have some

fast of the game just committed to memory.

Him and Ernie Adams are going to lock themselves in a room

all week and figure out a way to

unconventionally score some touchdowns.

They got Gunnard. They got the working man's

Wes Welker back there. Gunnard.

Returning punts against you. You got Gunnard big

time. Anthony Lynn,

I don't know. Is it harder to break up with a head coach if he moves across the country with you? Yeah.
And by across the country, I mean from San Diego to Los Angeles. I mean, that's a 405.
It's basically across the country. No, you don't take the 405.
Take the 1. Pacific Coast Highway? No, you take the 1.
It's PCH? Yeah. Not during rush hour.
Do not take the 405. Not the 405.
But yeah, Jesus, Anthony Lynn. I'm sure you're a nice guy, but you just have a boulder inside your skull.
I think I've been saying all your friends hate you, but that was out of anger. I'm not mad at you this weekend, Anthony Lynn, because I took the Patriots, so I'm cool.
That happens to a lot of nice guys. Yeah, we're cool.
A lot of nice guys' friends all hate him. Actually, if you're still in a relationship with Anthony Lynn where you can still be his friend, I would argue that you're not a true enough friend because you probably should have been meaner to him over the course of the last year, telling him to reevaluate some shit.
If you're still in his inner circle and haven't done enough to get yourself kicked out, you're part of the problem. Yes, absolutely, absolutely.
So, yeah, this is an ass-kicking. Patriots have their swagger back.
They stay out west, play on Thursday night against the Rams, which is now like this is the season. Yeah, the only thing I'll say is like I kept saying to myself during the game, I can't believe they lost the Texans.
So I as refreshing as it was, I could see them coming out and also throwing a stinker. Like it's either going to be a, you know, 20 point victory or just an absolute clunker.
Do you think that Belichick has Sean McVay in his grasp? Do you think McVay is just going to be replaying every single down from the Super Bowl? I think McVay and Goff, obviously, are going to look at it differently than... Bill Belichick is going to go through a normal game plan.
McVay and Goff probably have more of a, like, we need revenge, you know, that type of deal. It's a good Thursday night football game.
I'm excited to watch that Thursday night football game. So, right, 41%? Yeah, which apparently, you know, Pittsburgh Steelers fans are mad.
That's something they've been saying. Oh yeah, they've been saying it for a long time.
What were you saying? 21% according to Kornacki. Nope, we don't do that.
We're not Kornacki house. Hold on.
Shut up. I'll give it to you.
Let me look at the standings. I'll show you my process.
Alright,, we've got the Bills won, Steelers, Titans, Chiefs, and then you've got the Colts, Browns. They're like 10th.
And then you've got to beat the Dolphins and the Raiders. Did you beat the Raiders? You beat the Raiders.
You beat the Dolphins. I'd say 50-50 chance.
Okay. There you go.
I just did it in my head. There it is.
You have to finish 10-6. Yep.
50-50 chance. Just put it that way.
50-50 chance. Okay.
You have to go on a run. You know what? What did Aaron Rodgers say? He invented the phrase.
You got to run the table. You got to run the table.
Relax. You need to take over that phrase.
That's the new saying for the New England Patriots right now. Run the table.
Slash get a game canceled, but I don't think that's going to happen. Yes.
All right. That is every game.
Did Ernie Adams? Ernie Adams has like a football life type documentary coming out. He does? It came out.
It did? Yeah, it was like 10 minutes today. It was amazing.
I'm convinced that anything in that documentary is going to be made up by Ernie Adams to try to make other teams think that this is how the Patriots do it. So they'll try to copy his fake advice.
That's how deep inside my head Ernie Adams is. And I have no reason to really have a grudge against the guy.
That's fair. I mean, it's one of those seasons where they need to pull out all the stops.
Like it's not going to be a regular domination type season. So if they can get an advantage in any place, even if it's like what you're saying, I kind of agree with this.
This is the break glass in case of emergency. We're like, we're releasing the Ernie Adams footage.
This is what we spent last year taping the Browns-Bengals sideline for to get some really juicy info for next season. Yes, here comes Ernie Adams, going to get in everyone's head.
That is the ultimate chess move. It's Bill Blachek's best coaching job.
All right, let's do Football Guy of the Week. We'll talk a little college football, baby Braun and who's back.
Football Guy of the Week presented by Philips Zorocco OneBlade, the only blade the only tool that can trim edge and shave any length of hair it's november and that means gift giving season is coming up which makes now a perfect time to pick up a specifically marked one blade barstool pack nationwide where you could win up to a thousand dollars to the barstool store make sure if you already have your barstool one blade that you head to the Barstool store and use your credit. Also, keep tweeting us your funniest game day facial or body hair looks to at Pardon My Take using hashtag trim it to win it for a chance to win a special PMT experience.
Your style made simple. Phillips Norelco OneBlade football guy of the week brought to you by our friends at Phillips Norelco OneBlade.
Okay, Jake, football guy of the week. All right, we'll start things off with Raiders fullback Alec Ingles, who told reporters that his ribs are still broken and that he is trying to push them together, but they are not cooperating.
We're a big rib podcast. Yo, big rib podcast.
Love ribs. Love ribs.
Nick Rib. Yep, coming up in a second.
Colts head coach Frank Reich, who gave his granddaughter a lesson on the proper technique on how to have maximum ball security. There was a little video.
Ironically enough, how did the Colts win today? Ball security. Job security.
Was that his granddaughter or was that his daughter? I originally had a daughter. I double-checked.
It is his granddaughter. I do like those moments where it's like, hey, you want to teach this kid how to read? No.
Teach this kid how to fucking hold on to a football and that's all that's all they'll need in life she had pretty decent like three points of contact on that when she was running around the house um kentucky center drake jackson uh matt jones tweeted this out after saturday senior day win versus south carolina he said i'm going to bed tonight with all my tape and my jersey on. Oh, I believe him.
Yeah. 100% he did that.
Yeah. I like that.
The senior who doesn't take off his football jersey forever. I like that.
Also, shout out to Matt Jones. He sold Kentucky Sports Radio.
Yeah, he did. He's staying on, but I guess.
He's quite literally a sellout. I think he is the richest person in Kentucky.
Yes. Mitch McConnell.
I was going to say, yeah. But he's close.
What percentage of that do we get? I would say a lot. Yeah, I would say so too.
Somewhere between a lot and a shitload. You decide, Matt.
And then we'll end things with Seeler's offensive coordinator, Randy Feetner, who compared his young wide receivers to a fart in a skillet because they were bouncing around everywhere. PFD tweeted this earlier this week.
Yeah, that is – I feel like he learned that from Mike Tomlin. Yeah.
That's a quote directly from the big man. Yeah, Mike Tomlin's definitely farted in a skillet.
Yeah, that's how he cooks. That's how he lights his stove.
I ran these by Billy. He approves of them.
Nice. Good.
You guys are working together. Yeah.
All right, so Football Guy of the Week, go vote for it. Philips and Rocco OneBlade, Football Guy of the Week, thank you to Philips and Rocco OneBlade.
Alright, we're going to do some college football. Let's do Baby Braun of the Week first.
Hank, who's your Baby Braun of the Week? LeBron again. Oh, shit! He talks about himself Baby Braun of the Week..
I do my research, and he posts videos of himself. I think someone was talking about his first game as a rookie and how it's like you're going to watch out for this guy going forward, and he does like, you know, strive, young king.
You can do this, blah, blah, blah. So second week in a row, Baby Braun of the Week is LeBron.
Yeah, didn't he tweet out something like respect to Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan from his past self, knowing who he was going to emulate and then eventually surpass? Pretty much like 75% of his tweets are to himself from his former self. Yeah.
Or vice versa. I feel like he's just tripping on acid all the time.
Yeah. And just thinking about time in a nonlinear fashion.
So he honestly thinks that he's talking to you. Yeah, he just hops around.
Like, he can honestly have a conversation with 12-year-old LeBron James anytime he wants. He's interstellar.
He's just talking to, like, himself in a bookcase. He's pushing the godfather off the bookshelf.
Like, what is that, LeBron? It's just one page in here. You think that you're going to strive for greatness? Okay.
Yeah, say nothing if you're going to be the GOAT. He's pushing just a pamphlet of the first page of the Godfather over on to his former self.
All right. Pifty, your baby brown? My baby brown of the week is Anthony Davis.
Ooh! Because he agreed to a max contract with the LA Lakers. Young king coming up in the world.
You get rewarded for playing well with LeBron James. Yep.
This is another, it's a case like, you know, Matthew Del Vadova got 35 million, something like that to play in Milwaukee after winning a title with LeBron. Now LeBron has given another scrappy unheralded player like Anthony Davis, a huge contract.
Again, $190 million max deal. It pays to be second fiddle to LeBron.
Yes. yes yes billy you have a baby run of the week kyle kuzma oh we're sticking in basketball lebron tweeted uh kyle kuzma is like the best player to take a giant leap this season oh yeah someone said like who's gonna take a giant leap and he quote treated kyle kuzma all right my baby run is Devontae Smith from Alabama.
That game on Saturday night was insane. He had eight catches, 231 yards, and three touchdowns.
I don't even know if he played the fourth quarter, but I guess we'll just do college football too. Like, that game, every time Bama dropped back, it was just a touchdown.
It was insane. Yeah.
And Nick Saban, like, listen, we're Coach O guys. We love Coach O.
But Nick Saban before the game was like, we need to remind them that it's not easy to beat Alabama. Like, last year, a lot of those guys thought they could come in and beat Alabama.
We got to change that line of thinking. Like, that's how personal he took it.
I mean, 21 points in the first quarter, 24 in the second. It was never close to the get-go.
It also is such a perfect example of how crazy football has changed in just the last decade. So in 2011, Alabama and LSU played twice.
They played in the regular season and in the championship, the most boring national championship of all time. The first game was 9-6.
The second game was 21-0, so a total of 36 points. It took 17 and a half minutes to get 36 points on Saturday night.
And he's changed himself. That's crazy.
That's insane to think about. If you said to yourself, LSU versus Alabama, I mean, even last year where it was back and forth but lsu versus alabama and the overrunners gonna be 67 if you said to yourself 10 years ago come on yeah you'd think that you were insane and also i'm putting this out here steve sarkisian he's gonna be the guy who probably go if i were him i would get the fuck out of the car no i'd stay i would no i'm saying like if he's going to take a head coaching job somewhere.
Oh. He is.
I would guarantee you he's going to take a head coaching job. I know.
At Alabama. Oh, you think he's going to be head coach in waiting? Nick Saban's old, man.
I don't think Nick Saban is down to play the head coach in waiting game. He looks at that.
He will commit infanticide. He would be like an aging lion.
And if he can still kill that lion that's about to take his job in a little bit, he will. I think that Sarkeesian's going to leave this offseason maybe next, but he's going to go somewhere for a head coaching job.
I don't think he'd be a good fit being the head coach at Alabama. I think he'd be a great fit because they would just keep the program running.
Nick Saban has set everything up. I think that's actually what Nick Saban wants to do is hand the keys to someone because then it's just kind of still Nick Saban.
Yeah, but when's the last time, I guess, Ryan Day kind of worked out pretty well. Lincoln Riley.
Lincoln Riley. He's working out really well.
But Stoops is coming back trying to take his job back again. But, yeah, usually it doesn't work.
Yeah, at Ohio State it definitely did work out. But usually the protege aspect doesn't pan out in the long term.
I mean, it's – I don't know. I just think that that would be – I mean, Sark has had a checkered past.
Yeah. This would be – if I were him, that's what I'd want to do.
I'd stay there for as long as Saban wanted to coach and then take it over because you'll never get a job like that. I feel like that's one of those, I'm going to go here

and rehabilitate myself.

But he's been there for a little bit.

I don't know.

I think Saban's getting a little old.

If I'm Stark, I would not go somewhere else in the SEC.

So shout out to the Chanticleers.

Need to shout out to the Chanticleers.

Maybe the game of the year on the surf turf.

Coastal Carolina beating BYU.

It's a very pleasing shade of green.

Yeah.

Hand up, ignorant college football fan. I don't understand the context of why it was such a big game.
Because they were both 9-0 and they both don't, like, they basically made the game Tuesday. Which is the coolest thing.
Like, this is how. It was an anytime, anywhere game.
Right, and we should actually, they should start making these in college football. college football is so much better off if everyone had like fuck doing this hey george is playing uh usc in 2038 just have us have have a get have a week open every year maybe two weeks out you're like hey you want call up your friend.
Yeah, that's a 24-7 challenge.

Yeah, call up your friend.

Let's fucking do it.

And Texas should have to play A&M every year in that game.

Yes, but that was an awesome game.

The Chanticleers were – I love just any team where people are wearing fake mullets in the stands.

Dude, mullets versus Mormons.

Yep, mullets versus Mormons.

I think I counted three players that had mullets.

I think three starters that had mullets on season. Oh, they're awesome.
A lot more. And the surf surf is awesome.
And shout out all the people that were appalled that the Coastal Carolina blocked Zach Wilson hard on an interception. That was the biggest joke.
So that's one of those things where I was refreshing Twitter and clicking on replies to all these tweets, trying to figure out why somebody had a problem with it. There was like one guy who had a problem.
I couldn't figure out what the problem was. On a return, you block a guy, right? You find the quarterback.
You block somebody. And yeah, he got his ass kicked on that return.
It's also football. But he also could have stayed down.
Yes. It's football, too.
You can run away from the blocker or lay down right or after you get blocked the first time don't stand up and get your ass kicked by two guys yeah philip rivers would lay down philip yeah stay down he would have sat down crisscross applesauce yeah he stays the fuck down but yeah it was just so far it was so funny because like what do you what sport do you guys think you're watching yeah so now it's football. Now the Chanticleers, do they have a title claim? Well, so they have to win the fun belt first.
They play, I think, Louisiana Lafayette still in the championship game. BYU, that kind of hurts their whole thing.
Your resume, do you think BYU can overcome this loss and still get into the college football playoff? Yeah, I don't know. Here's what I would love is for the Chanticleers to play Cincinnati.
And then it's like, now you've got the undefeated going at each other again. So just keep round robbing.
If you're a Power 5 team, I get it. Why you wouldn't do it? Because you never want to go and play the small guy and lose.
if you're if you're not in the power five you should start doing this for scheduling you should start like having an open date where you can go play the best power five or non-power fives around the country because that's going to boost each other like if ucf had played the best non-power five their undefeated season at the end of the year that would them. It would be great if there was a mid-season bowl game.
Yeah. Where it was like whoever was leading the Sun Belt against whoever was in first place in the MAAC.
Yeah. Yes.
Would be great. Would be great.
Coastal is at Troy Saturday, then the Fun Belt Championship. Against ULL.
Which, by the way, ULL played, I think it was App State. Friday night, right? Yeah, the ULL snapper had five snaps.
And they took the intentional safety. Over his head.
Like, took a snap under center. The craziest intentional safety I've ever seen in my life.
It made no sense. That's a coach that just loves coaching football.
He just couldn't stomach. He could have just been like, run half that distance back and then try to kick it.
Right. Right.
Anyone kick – right. It was crazy.
What else? Any other big college football? Oklahoma's doing the classic Oklahoma thing where they sucked at the beginning of the year. Everyone forgot about them, and now everyone's like, look out, Oklahoma playing great football.
I'm standing by the fact that Oklahoma sucked too bad early on to be considered by me, to be for real. But I think I might be a Spencer Rattler guy.
Well, it's a great name. Yeah.
We'll see how he does against Iowa State because he pissed me off last time against Iowa State when he was wearing those big earrings and throwing interceptions. Oh, also.
That's what my old man yells a cloud moment. Another big college football storyline.
The return of Coach's wives shopping for houses in Austinas came back this week yep so urban meyer's wife was reported to be shopping for houses they do that austin is really great at that they've got a bunch of realtors who are always i think they use it as marketing opportunities to just like leak out the fact that uh either nick say miss terry is down here looking for houses in west lake or urban meyer is and they're also real big on having fake announcements in the Austin airport. Being like, Nick Saban, your bag is now at the luggage counter, if you'll please report to the luggage counter, Nick Saban.
And then that becomes a story from somebody that tweets it out. Texas is the king of that.
I still think – I've kind of flipped on it. I think that Herman's going to stick around after this season.
Well, they owe him a lot of money. They don't really.
That's never been a drawback for Texas.

Well, they're making cuts and everything.

We're in a pandemic.

A panty?

Ever heard of it?

It's really just urban or bust for them.

Kirk Herbstreit's actually, he hates Texas.

And it's very funny because all he does is speak truth about how ridiculous the job is

and how it's a no-win job.

So maybe they'll wise up and it'll be urban or nothing else. Ohio State kicked the shit out of Michigan State, which they needed to do.
Shout out Indiana. Indiana's just a flat-out better team than Wisconsin right now.
Tom Allen's like coach of the year. That guy, he just gets in fights celebrating and loves us.
He's a big-time emotional – like, if one of his players gets hurt,

he will hug him for 25 minutes.

Like, that's the type of coach Tom Allen is.

Bo Nix is going to get, like, six or seven opportunities

to be a starting quarterback in the NFL.

And he's going to blow all of them.

No, he's not.

He's so bad.

He's so bad.

He's so bad.

And then – oh, clemson is on official

fuck you watch so be careful dabbo is pissed they gatorade bathed him i guess to go to the acc championship game so that will be i was gonna get mad about that too yes yes in dabbo's mind he did not deserve a gatorade bath for that no what were you say billy no getting back to texas the forum inside texas is taking a picture of um urban meyer in a random room and they're trying to match it up with austin uh resorts god i love i love football they're like taking zoom in ends of like the the curtains and the chairs this is like god don't fuck with cats yeah they're don't fuck yeah don't fuck with cats don't fuck with cats. I had nothing on Hogville, the Arkansas message board back in the day.
Well, dude, how about when Jim McElwain fucked a shark? As of 20 minutes ago, Urban Meyer is out for Texas. Oh, okay.
That was official? Pat Forty retweeted, can confirm earlier report from Horns 247, that former Ohio State coach Urban told Texas officials, he has chosen not to return to coaching for health reasons. He is quote, sorting through what to do next.
That's from they got to keep Tom Herman. I love it.
The Tom Herman is just like, he just has to be a cuck. There's like, yeah, Urban Meyer's not going to take jobs.
So I guess we'll keep Herb streets. Right though.
That job, that job. It's impossible.
You know what? It low key sucks sucks that does because you basically have to live in a season of succession where every you're surrounded by a bunch of much richer people than you that think that they all control the football team but they're like six guys that each think that they're the top guy yes and you're never going to be the top guy correct always gonna be one of the dudes that's writing a check and they think that they're they think they should be winning like clemsonmson and Alabama and Ohio State. But guess what? Those are kind of the only teams that win like that now.
Yeah. Yeah.
Good college football Saturday. Winding down, I think, two more weeks.
All right. Let's do Who's Back of the Week.
And then we will let everyone get on with their Monday. Who's Back of the week is brought to you by a special sponsor.
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Yeah.

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It was tasty.

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Okay, Hank, who's back? My who's back of the week is the Paul brothers. Oh.
We talked about it the other day, kind of how it's like, you know, love them or hate them, they're not going away. Yeah.
Logan Paul, brother of Jake Paul, just signed his fight for Floyd Mayweather. So that's going to be Mayweather's next fight.
And who's Jake Paul going to fight next? I'm not sure. It's either Conor McGregor, I think a former UFC guy, or Billy Football.
Oh, okay. He's got three good options.
He's got to figure it out. Hear me out.
It would work. He needs to fight more people before he fights a professional fighter.
He said it himself. Just tweet at Jake Paul.
Say, fight Billy Football. You're scared.
It'd be sick. It'd be awesome.
I bet you all would buy it because there's a good chance of getting knocked out. That exact thing.
That's the script. That's the strategy.
And just so everyone knows, Billy's not taking any other fights. So if you think you're top.
If that random intern wants to show up here, I'm not dropping back. You are the new Jake Paul because so many people are trying to fight you.
Right. So you can be like, Jake Paul, I know exactly what you're going through.
Yeah, bro. All these people are trying to fight.
It's crazy. You should actually.
You guys, if you don't fight, you should just get married because the hashtag would be so great. The Billy Football.
Billy Fight Paul. Yeah, fight Paul.
He retweeted me. It's almost a waste.
He retweeted me. You actually said that earlier when someone was like, hey, is this really happening? He's like, yeah, he retweeted me.
So basically, yeah. He's shooting my shot.
But wait, Billy, so Floyd Mayweather is fighting against Logan, right? Floyd's a little smaller. Logan's small.
Jake is a big guy, though. No, no.
Logan's like the actual big guy. No, Jake is big.
He's like 6'1", 6'1". Jake's tiny.
What's going to happen? Your entire premise of fighting Jake Paul is you think he's like 5'9". What happens when he's 6'2"? He's not actually 6'2".
But what happens? I did the math. Okay.
You did the math? I did. Anyway, I did a whole forensic analysis of how tall he actually is.
No, you took three pictures and then he drew a line in Microsoft Paint. I know there's like...
Sports science. Jake Paul 100% doesn't know who I am.
Hundreds of people don't know who I am. Well, you retweeted you.
No, don't be like that. But I know, but it's like...
I know everyone that that I retweet. Ever.
If you just put me at the tip of the spear... I'm like best friends with that chick that writes Fire Anthony Lynn on her ass.
Yep. Who? I had a retweeted the other day.
Anyway, I think it would be great if it happened. What do you mean, dude? It's happening.
It's going to happen. Dude, this guy's man of best destiny.
Let's wrap some context around this because the thing that he retweeted was your idea, which admittedly is an amazing idea, that you should make an app that's for guys that want to fight Jake Paul so they can meet up and fight each other. Right.
So I think you take that one step further, and then you just fight everybody that signs up for that app, and then you become king of the guys that want to fight Jake Paul, and then he has to fight you. Okay.
That's a lot of fights, though. Yeah, but you know what? To be the best, you got to beat the best.
The warrior. Yeah.
I am the warrior. It's going to work.
Another app on the table that I got developed. Yep.
What happened to the last one? The Jism, whatever was it called? It's still in the works. What was it called? Brocom.
We're waiting for the pandemic to end. It's called Hangout? What was it called? Where's the beef? It's called Gala.
Gala. That's right.
God damn it. It's so forgettable.
No, it was sick, bro. Gala.
If you're listening to this and you don't know about Gala, it has nothing to do with, galas whatsoever. It's the worst name.

Isn't Gala a party? Yeah, no, you just try. What the fuck's a Met Gala? It's a fancy party.
Billy wanted to pull a Tom Haverford and tried to name his app something that sounded expensive. Yeah.
Which is a good idea. It sounds expensive.
But it doesn't tell me what the app is. It's literally an app for bars.
It's a Trojan horse. It's an app to find out how many bars, like, does the bar have dudes farting in it or not.
Yeah. It's called Gup.
The app, at its very core, is for guys who want to be in a room with as few guys as possible. You created back pages and called it Gallup.
Oh, that's fucked up. All right.
PFT, who's back? My who's back of the week is people asking, is Die Hard a Christmas movie? I saw it start to happen.

This is the hot dog is a sandwich debate.

If anybody asks you this question, they are a police officer.

Do not answer them.

It's an older and older crop of people that are asking.

It's trickling up into the older generations every single year.

So it's honestly, this is so much worse than LeBron MJ debate.

It's so bad.

I've never seen Die Hard. How about you discuss something current, like whether or not Joe Flacco is elite.
It's so bad, though, PFT. It makes me so, so ugh.
Yeah, it gives me bad goosebumps, the bad version of it. Yeah, it's gross.
I guess it's HPV, but it makes me shudder when I think of people having this conversation in the year of our Lord 2020. So please please just do me a favor and don't don't make me see you having this conversation please don't do it i will lose respect for you please don't do it um all right my who's back is making stupid bets because for some reason i totally forgot i did this in the middle of the witching hour but some uh dude treated me hey big cat if the lions win today you have to suck my balls.
And I said, ugh, fine. So I got to suck that guy's balls.
That's fine. Shout out paid board man.
I'm going to be sucking your balls, bro. I mean, is he for real, though? Is he going to come to New York? If he comes to New York, you got to suck his balls.
I'll suck your balls. That's how it works.
And you can fight Billy. You got to pay your own.
That's a two-for- for one part of my take special. I will suck your balls and you can fight Billy.
That's the immersive part of my take experience. That's PMT fantasy.
That's called the part of my take car wash. You go to ESPN, you get to go fucking first take and maybe some like, you know, Greenies radio show.
You come to PMT, Billy will cave your skull in while I suck your testicles. And let Hank's dog rub his slimy dick on you.
That's the difference. All right, Billy, who's back? Parlay sheet hit again this week.
Oh, hell yeah. My can't lose didn't win because PFT made me switch.
Otherwise, it would have won. Big Cat, are you your own man? Yeah.
Okay. Wait, is it called being a good partner? Is it called the Big Cat parlay? The can't lose parlay? Or is it called the big cat when PFT makes really good points? I trusted you, but I guess I shouldn't do that.
My bet was correct. But it wasn't.
There was a material change in the last seconds of the game. It sucks that I was the initial 1-1.
Yeah, it's crazy because the can't lose parlay has never lost before. It was going to be on a hot streak, and you ruined it.
But on that note, you should have followed the bird alert. The bird alert, it was a bloodbath for birds this weekend in the NFL.
Yeah. Over two and a half bird teams plus 155.
That hit early and often. All right, so good job, Billy.
It worked. Yeah.
So how much money did you win? $30. How much money did you put in? $100, but it's still positive.
Wait, what? It's better than losing money. Wait, hold on.
What did you do? Wait, you lost $70. No, no.
I spent $100. And you got $30 back.
And I got $130 back. Okay, all right.
Is that counting the two units that I gave you to shut up during witching hours? No.

So technically I'm up $170.

Okay, nice.

Nice.

Nice. Good job.

I started as a joke, but now it's actually working.

Now you're probably going to quit your job.

Yeah.

Which, God forbid, that happens.

I know.

No, don't go.

I might.

I might have to go fight Jake Paul.

No, please.

I might have to go fight Jake Paul.

Please don't.

No, don't leave. Please, please.
We love you. I won't.
Jake, please. I might have to go fight Jake Paul.
Please don't. No, don't leave.

Please, please.

We love you.

I won't.

Jake, what you got?

Oh, man.

Thank God.

Rick Pitino.

Nice.

First win with Iona.

No, he's back.

Nope.

First win.

First win.

Borelli's.

That was quick.

Yeah, he is.

Yeah, so that's a tough look.

No, no, no.

Rick Pitino said that he loved going to Frankie's Italian restaurant. Frankie just.
Well, You have a grade A fighter right here who will protect you. Frankie, just make sure that the security cameras are on and don't let them in after hours.
That's all I'm going to say. You guys are putting my life at risk when you make fun of Rick Pitino.
You know what I want? I want to make a Rick Pitino bet on the Barstool Sportsbook where will Iona score their first points in the first 13 seconds? I think people would bet on that. I don't condone.
Alright, let's do numbers. And Animal Fact.
18. Can Billy go two in a row? No, no.
I took the 69 home with me. Oh, so that makes it easier for us.
What? I have it. I kept it.
Billy, you should put that up on eBay. That's theft.
You stole it from me. You know what? I stole the 69 ping pong.
It's in a very safe place. What are you going to do with it? I just keep it next to my...
The dog is going to eat it. It's literally right next to my bedside table.
His dog already ate it. His dog already ate it.
That means it's on the floor. It's right next to my bedside table.
I laugh every time I look at it. And it makes my day better.

51.

Eight.

We're sticking with eight.

I'm retired.

No, you can't retire.

I'm retired.

I'm going out.

Shut up.

You cannot retire.

If you hit a number, you retire.

If one of us hits, we get to either retire ourselves or bring Billy back in.

57.

All right.

I'm bringing Billy back in with 57 right now.

82.

Name is 82. What did you say? 82.
What did you say, Hank? 51. What did I say? 57? Yeah.
Possums are the only marsupials in the United States. 18.
Let's go! What? Activate! I know Billy's back in! Bring me back in! Bring me back in! You're on return, bitch! Welcome back. Welcome back to the Thunderdome, bitch.
Bring the 69 back. There you go, Jake.
Fuck you. Yes, you have to bring it back.
Jake's the current champion. Fuck yes, Jake.
Give it up for Jake, everybody. Jake is number one.
Jake's number one. Jake.
Suck it. Jake, that's awesome.
You're really good at that, Jake. Jake, you're really good at that.
Holy shit. Jake, how did you do that? Dude, you're the hottest ping pong guy.
Jake, talk us through how you thought he was seen. Oh, my God.
That's so good. Give us a post-game speech about how you picked that.
That's amazing. You're so good at this.
You know, the lottery machine's a really good competitor, but tonight I have to pat myself on the back. I was a little bit better.
That's so perfect. Billy's back.
Billy showed up and he's like, I'm retired, guys. You play your little lottery game.
I hit 69. First time.
I hit 69. Because you literally just sat there being like, oh, gosh, you do it.
I don't play this child's game anymore. 18 is not a fucking cooler number than 69.
Okay, wait, hold on. 69? Are you going to make 69? 69 is a diehard Christmas movie.
Time out. I'm very happy for Jake.
Time out. I'm very happy for Jake.
Who's the the hottest It's what have you done for me lately Alright Jake Official decision Are you sitting out Or are you bringing Billy back Billy's back Yeah I'm not bringing back 69 You got to That's all I'm not bringing 69 Jake why don't you take 18 right 18? I'm trying to take 18 right back in the machine.

You can take it home for the night.

Jake's a man of honor.

Billy, you're a piece of shit.

Go get the 69 bottom.

Stop trying to trick us to play Call of Duty with you.

No.

I love you guys.

See you guys out west.

Love you guys.

Good job, Jake.

Love you guys.

You can actually do that?

Billy, what was your... Talking away I don't know what I'm saying I'm saving you Today's my day To find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love of gay Shying away I'll be coming for your love of me Shine away I'll be coming for your love of me Take on me Take me on I'll be gone And I'll tell you Needless to say I'm on the sentence But I'll be still right away So See you next time.
Take me I'm out. All the things that you say

Is in the light bulb

Just to play my worries away

You know all the things I've got to remember

Me shining away

Well I'll be coming for you anyway

Me shining away

Thank you. Be shining away, I'll be coming for you anyway Be shining away, I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me, take me on I'll be gone

In a deep

I'll be gone in a day.

It's Pardon My Take presented by bar stool sports