NFL Week 13, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recapping Every Game And More Lottery Madness

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Speaker 3 On today's part of my take, week 13, a wild, awesome witching hour. In week 13, we recap every single game.
We give you a little coach of the year.

Speaker 3 We give you the new proclaimed Hugh Jackson Award, the worst coaches of the year.

Speaker 3 We have every single game. Carson Wentz gets benched.
Looks like the Patriots are back. The Bears are a joke of a franchise.
The Rams are looking for real.

Speaker 3 The Browns, yes the browns if you are a browns fan today is your day we talk about the browns and get very excited for the browns we have football guy of the week we do a little college football talk baby brawn and who's back of the week a packed monday show we love football mondays and we love our sponsor part uh cap when cool creamy ranch meets tangy bold buffalo the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce say howdy partner to new buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 2 At participating, McDonald's with the cash app.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 3 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 3 And then I love the song perfectly done.

Speaker 3 Low place behind a low-washing.

Speaker 3 And then I can't aim all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 3 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 3 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's part of my tape presented by Farm Stool Sports.

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You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA.

Speaker 3 Today is Monday, December 7th, week

Speaker 3 13.

Speaker 3 We start in the Meadowlands where the Jets got raided on their way to Little St.

Speaker 3 Jameson, Crowder Island, and got hung up in cell abrasion as necktie Johnson couldn't choke out the Young Vegas defense when he had a chance.

Speaker 3 The tank continues to roll on as the Jets fall to 0-12 and the Raiders creamed the Putang clan one last time as Darren said, Carr rules everything around me. Get the money, walla, walla bills, y'all.

Speaker 3 The

Speaker 3 Raiders, 31. Jets, 28.

Speaker 3 Dr. Heat.

Speaker 3 In the NFC Norse, the Vikings welcomed the Jaguars, and Mike John Glennon refused to say, let it be, as he took a shot in the back after being distracted by DJ Chuck David Chapman.

Speaker 3 Oh no, too soon, boom.

Speaker 3 Justin Jefferson Davis made the Jacksonville defense look like a confederacy of dunces as the Jaguars still refused to end Doug Marone's Bronx Tale, telling him, now you can't leave.

Speaker 3 In overtime, Mike Hans Zimmer composed a score when he needed one the most as Dan Christian Bailey prevented another dark night in Minnesota with an overtime chip shot. The Vikings 27, the Jaguars 24.

Speaker 3 In Nash Vegas, where Corey Miles Davis was dressed up in all blues, but it was a Titans' performance that left the fans kind of blue on Sunday.

Speaker 3 Derek Thierry-Henry tried to deploy his full arsenal, but it was Tottenham that won 2-0 in the North London Derby, and that was talking soccer.

Speaker 3 Donovan Foster, the Peoples, Jones, or as my good friend Gus Johnson says, Donovan Peoples Jones proved that the indie score wasn't a fluke, and Cody Parky's pumped-up kicks went seven for seven.

Speaker 3 The Cleveland Browns have nine wins, 41, Titans, 35. Oh!

Speaker 3 The Browns?

Speaker 3 Nine? The Cleveland?

Speaker 3 Am I right? Am I? Isn't this right? Nine, three. Wake me up, Teach.

Speaker 3 Down in Houston, where Chad Chris Hansen told the Colts to take a seat after they got caught watching Cutie score. But it was just a minor inconvenience, as T.Y.
Milton Bradley had seen that before.

Speaker 3 Before? Before?

Speaker 3 Rodrigo, no, you suck my blanket shit. After a tough loss last week, the Colts were able to whip out their alley cocks and drop it on the AFC South table.

Speaker 3 Please make sure to frank, rank, comment, and subscribe as the Colts are back in the driver's seat. Colts 20 Sets, the Houston Texans 20.
What's up, YouTubers?

Speaker 3 In Chicago, where interim head coach Daryl Matthew Bevilaqua is trying to become a made man, tasked with moving the wobistics for the Lions offense.

Speaker 3 The Bears tried to go buck wild cherries, singing, hey, you're a crazy Mitch. You fuck up so good, you keep dropping it.
Talking about back-breaking fumbles there, Tege.

Speaker 3 Jim Carrion Johnson made the Bears' defense look like la who

Speaker 3 Zahers as not even Cole Komet Detective's fourth quarter touchdown could help the Bears to a win after John Pinasini, that's literally his name, boom, found himself laying flaccidly on top of a ball to secure a Lions victory.

Speaker 3 Lions 34, Bears 30, Lesak.

Speaker 3 In Miami, there were some pregame misinformation as to whether or not Tuanon Tagalivoa would make the start and bring the storm.

Speaker 3 Miles Carroll Gaskin put the Bengal Tigers to sleep with 141 off-purpose yards. And Brandon Walker Allen and the Bengals lost their temper getting into a shoving match with the Dolphins.

Speaker 3 But it was Mike Gaseki Bump who had a nose for the end zone. Not the first time a Dolphin did a little yay there, huh? And Miami stays rolling 19 to 7.

Speaker 3 Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 3 New Denquin, my lord. They got Raheem Morris crawling defaults to Calvin Ridley.

Speaker 3 Come on, Patin. You should put the grain.

Speaker 3 in

Speaker 3 his going to heaven.

Speaker 3 Sex go marching

Speaker 3 in Los Angeles where Casey Anthony Lynn got away with murder last week as he's trying to stunt the growth of his young star.

Speaker 3 Nikhil Bachhari was a rock star and bought a bathroom he could play football in and a king-size dub big enough his 10 teammates plus him.

Speaker 3 Cam New Tony Hawk has done a complete 180 for the Patriots season, getting them back to 500. Patriots 45.
San Diego Superchargers 0.

Speaker 3 We finished out in Seattle where Golden Enema of the Tate did all the small things right and Blink 182 Martinez was catching things and hitting Carlos Hyde.

Speaker 3 Giants fans are saying, I miss you to Daniel Jones, while Court McCoy said, what's my age again?

Speaker 3 And a touching tribute to my good friend Kirk Cobain Seahawks fans are playing Jamal Adams song as they haven't reached nirvana yet dropping an inexcusable loss to the New York football giants the Gemini 17 the Seahawks 12 all right week 13 that was the fastest two minutes in sports presented by hey it's PFT here reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless whether you order catering platters ahead from your local boars head retailer or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

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Speaker 3 Okay, week 13.

Speaker 3 Holy fuck, that was an awesome week. Not the best when we were going into it, but the greatest witching hour we've had all year.
We're going to get to every single game.

Speaker 3 We start with Sunday night football.

Speaker 3 Drew Locke.

Speaker 3 Pig Cat. No, no, no, this isn't about.
I'm not. You already said, like, you don't believe in Drew Lock.

Speaker 5 Just hearing that just prompted me viscerally to apologize.

Speaker 5 No, I will never apologize for a take. One should not apologize for what our gut tells us to do.
That's why it's our gut feeling. Drew Locke,

Speaker 5 I'm ready to abandon.

Speaker 3 I'm not apologizing.

Speaker 5 I'm ready to abandon my Drew Locke take, the Moxie take. Please advise me for the most elegant way I can dismount from that take without admitting I was wrong about it.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 5 He's not surrounded with enough talent.

Speaker 3 He's got a ton of talent around him. Yeah, I wouldn't go that route.

Speaker 3 I would say,

Speaker 3 you know, he's football young. Go football young.
Well, he's football young.

Speaker 5 Also, he has to play Patrick Mahomes twice every year.

Speaker 3 That's tough. Mizzou's not really known for this type of thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 He didn't have enough prep in college playing under the big spotlight. Yes.

Speaker 3 Okay, exactly. Drew Locke.
I'll say something nice about Drew Locke. It doesn't matter that he sucks.
It doesn't matter that he threw a couple picks tonight.

Speaker 3 It doesn't matter that he misses wide open guys. He's still going to be cocky.
He did the fucking Hulk Hogan year to half, like, to what, like 10% of the crowd?

Speaker 3 He has not beaten the Chiefs in his career. He did the Hulk Hogan here.
He is.

Speaker 5 He's a visor guy, too.

Speaker 3 He's a visor guy.

Speaker 5 He's a big red flag. Had I known that going into this, I would have never gone the Moxie route with him.

Speaker 3 He's your friend after like, you know, like maybe like a little scuffle at the bar. And he's like, oh, I would have fucked those guys up.
Like, no, dude, you got, like, you have a black eye. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Your shirt is ripped. You have a black eye.
We might have taken you to the hospital. He's like, no, no, no, no, no.
I had that shit. He has so much confidence.
I don't even, I actually don't.

Speaker 3 Usually what happens with quarterbacks is when they suck, when they truly start to suck, I start to actually like the human side of me kicks in. And I'm like, man, I kind of feel bad for this kid.

Speaker 3 I don't feel bad for Drew Locke because I don't think Drew Locke even knows he sucks.

Speaker 3 Drew Locke is in the locker room right now being like, yo, if that game lasted five more minutes, we would have fucked him up. Like we had him.
Yeah, that last pick is on me, but listen. I had them.

Speaker 3 I was starting to see it. I'm telling you right now, they don't want to see us in the playoffs.

Speaker 3 And then someone's like uh like no offense like hey hey drew like we're not going to the playoffs what are you talking about three weeks ago yeah what are you talking about we're going to the playoffs bro uh to go off your take of the fight the fight guy who won't admit that he got his ass killed

Speaker 5 he's also he's that guy but he's also like let's go out to another bar after that fight yeah see if we get some shit his night isn't done after that fight he's like let's keep this going after party i feel like this night has only begun begun to rock he's bleeding out of his mouth he's like you guys want to play some pong he's like let's do some shots yeah Yeah, so you're right.

Speaker 5 It's kind of fun watching him because you're right, he does not understand.

Speaker 3 He doesn't, he thinks he like

Speaker 3 owned him.

Speaker 5 And I kind of respect that in a weird way.

Speaker 5 But the Chiefs, it actually could have been a lot worse than it was.

Speaker 3 Well, no, this was, I kind of

Speaker 3 saw this one coming just because Vic Fangio is such a good defensive coach. And if you watch the first game that the Chiefs and Broncos played,

Speaker 3 the Chiefs killed him, but it was weird shit. It was pick six.
It was punt return.

Speaker 3 So, like, it's actually Drew Locke is kind of the difference between the Broncos being able to win a game like this because they actually do have some talent. Like, they have a great defensive coach.

Speaker 3 They have some nice young weapons. You know,

Speaker 3 Melvin Gordon looks good tonight, but they're still the Chiefs. And I do think the Chiefs are in that, like, a little bit of cruise control where

Speaker 3 they'll do enough to win, but they don't have to expend all the energy. Yeah, Michael, Travis Kelsey in the post-game, you see that?

Speaker 5 Yeah, he didn't know who he was playing.

Speaker 3 He was like, yeah, credit to the Raiders. Yeah, so they beat them.
They're just kind of going out there.

Speaker 5 They beat the Raiders twice this year, only lost to them once. Mike Francesa said that he's disgusted by the Chiefs' on-field actions at times because they're so much in cruise control.

Speaker 5 They're undisciplined, according to Francesa. And then the other side of the pendulum, the other King State King, Skip Bayless, said Tebow would have won this game.

Speaker 3 Ooh.

Speaker 3 Wow, what a tank.

Speaker 5 Tebow would not have thrown two interceptions to safeties. He would have thrown two interceptions like defensive linemen.
Right. Trying to throw a screen press.
Right. That's a little bit different.

Speaker 5 It It takes away the speed of the return game on that one.

Speaker 5 I have a take on Noah Fant. I think that Noah Fant is going to be an awesome tight end when he goes to his second team.
Yes.

Speaker 5 That dude is like,

Speaker 5 he is baby Eric Ebron. He's baby Ebron in the fact that he's got all the physical tools.
He's just waiting for him. He looks good.

Speaker 5 He's waiting for somebody that, or like a decent offense that can get him the ball occasionally. But yeah, Tyreek Hill did the backflip into the end zone again, which is always sweet.

Speaker 3 It didn't count.

Speaker 5 It didn't count, but it was still sweet. He was wearing a bandana that went down to his numbers, which at first I didn't like.
I was like, what's up with that?

Speaker 5 It's like, if you're going to have something on the back of your jersey, have to be something sweet like a hoodie, but he just had a do-rag coming out of the back of his helmet.

Speaker 5 But then I realized it's perfect because if somebody tries to tackle you by that, it just slides right off like a lizard's tail. That's true.
And you escape.

Speaker 5 It's actually a genius move by Tyreek Hill. But that catch that he had in the first half, holy.

Speaker 5 It didn't count either.

Speaker 3 Ran him out there and punted when he could have have taken a delayed game. And that also, those are the type of plays that when the Chiefs do get those, that breaks the other team.

Speaker 3 And the game flow is completely different. Right.

Speaker 5 You can't bring him a fluky touchdown.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 even the Broncos hanging around.

Speaker 3 You knew they were going to hang around when

Speaker 3 they kick a field goal, miss a field goal to end the half. The Chiefs didn't have 28 seconds, which the Chiefs...
It's actually perfect that Andy Reid now has a quarterback that defies time.

Speaker 3 He's a time snatcher. Andy Reid's one thing that he's never been able to figure out is time.
And now he has Patrick Mahomes, where Patrick Mahomes gets the ball back with 28 seconds.

Speaker 3 And we're all sitting here being like, they left him too much time. Like that actually is way too much time.

Speaker 3 But the Broncos playing a good enough defense that they don't score and they only get a field goal.

Speaker 3 That told you right there, like, oh, they're going to be in this for the whole game because that is such a Chiefs moment where they break your back, score a touchdown, and you're like, what the fuck just happened?

Speaker 5 Yeah, the Chiefs, they're not dominating like they have in the past, past, but I still think they're going to be fine. They just have too much fucking talent.

Speaker 3 Divisional games don't count the same in my mind. When, like, if a team doesn't dominate, the Chiefs not dominating the Broncos, you see them twice a year.
It's just, you know, each other better.

Speaker 3 Like, I just, I just think that it always is different.

Speaker 5 That's why Mike McCarthy says they matter so much more. And if you win those games, then you end up winning your division.
Chance, yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there was, there were a couple weird things with the time snatching. So there was obviously the Tyreek Hill touchdown catch that wasn't when he thought the ball hit the the ground.

Speaker 5 And then Andy goes out there and punts when normal Andy Reid calls a timeout just for the fuck of it.

Speaker 5 Just for like it's actually just a point in the game where Andy would have naturally called a timeout for no reason.

Speaker 5 And then he'd have more time to look at the replay of it.

Speaker 3 It's literally Andy Reid's catch my breath. Yeah.
He calls timeouts sometimes to be like, hold on, give me a sec. Like I'll catch up in a second, guys.

Speaker 5 Yeah, some coaches call timeouts to think it over, which is always like the biggest waste of a timeout. Andy just calls a timeout to get a little bit of oxygen going.

Speaker 5 But there was that, and then there was the field goal that wasn't for the Chiefs briefly. Did you see the delay of game?

Speaker 5 Yeah, when the long snapper had the ball in his hand with one second on the play clock, and they called him for a delay of game.

Speaker 3 There was Alex Kemp.

Speaker 5 Alex Kemp, we talked about it last

Speaker 3 year. Alex Kemp.
This group of refs hates points. Hates it.

Speaker 5 They hate putting their arms above their head.

Speaker 3 I bet I'm not an under guy. I told you all week:

Speaker 3 tell me who Alex Kemp is

Speaker 3 going to be refing. I will take the under.
That Tyreek Hill flip touchdown, that was a phantom hold, like Alex Kemp steals points.

Speaker 3 Jake, make sure on Monday morning you tell me exactly who he's reffing. I will take the under again.
I'm going to chase this guy around.

Speaker 5 He's a point vampire.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he really is. He's an energy and a point vampire.
So

Speaker 5 I just had this thought. We watch a lot of football, Big Cat.
We watch a lot of sports in general.

Speaker 5 Every other sport, they have a clock that has decimal points on it when it comes to the end of the game.

Speaker 5 Because we'll talk about the Falcon Saints later, but there was a play at the end of that Falcon Saints game where the ball hit the ground and there was one second left, but you can only add time back on, according to Mike Pereira, if there are two seconds left.

Speaker 5 Baseball doesn't see it. Baseball, yeah, baseball doesn't have a clock.
They've just got like when Joe West dies, that's when Major League Baseball is over.

Speaker 5 But in most sports, you have a clock that has decimal points. Why doesn't football?

Speaker 3 I like decimal points. I kind of like that.

Speaker 5 Just cut and dry it. It's either one or zero.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they care. It's kind of like we don't.

Speaker 5 Roger Goodell cares about the the details. He cares about decimal points when it comes to Melvin Gordon's blood alcohol content.

Speaker 3 No, because that's something that we just have to have to get mad at.

Speaker 3 You get angry at it.

Speaker 5 I kind of appreciate the idea of it being like, it's either one or it's zero.

Speaker 5 That's a fucking guy way of thinking about things. So I like that.

Speaker 5 But when it comes down to an endgame scenario or something like a delay of game that's not, I feel like more details are usually better than fewer details.

Speaker 3 Nah, fuck it. I mean, we still can't always get like a direct right down the line, the

Speaker 3 end zone line camera angle.

Speaker 5 That's true.

Speaker 3 Like, we don't have a chip in the ball, and the first down

Speaker 3 they still bring out the card to put in between the ball and the chain. Like, these are things that we just need.
We need to keep it old school. Okay.
OS.

Speaker 5 When you put it that way, I'm kind of on board with the fact that it's like it's a football guy thing to not care about decimals.

Speaker 3 Yeah, right.

Speaker 5 Let's not get crazy about it.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's too close to math.

Speaker 3 Right, right. No.
By the way,

Speaker 5 did you see, do you see what some fan did with the crop circle Andy Reid? No, somebody made a giant crop circle. Look it up right now.
Like out in a different

Speaker 5 crop circle, a wheat field, which is probably as close as Andy Reid's ever gotten to a vegetable in his life, but it's just a giant picture of Andy Reid's face out in the middle of a field somewhere.

Speaker 3 I love it. I fucking love it.

Speaker 5 Oh, this is sick. That's pretty sweet, isn't it? Yeah.
It's probably offensive to Andy Reid. Like being like an Andy Reid made out of vegetables.
Yeah, you don't want that.

Speaker 5 It's like putting Bruce Arians

Speaker 5 or dual's bottles.

Speaker 3 Yes, this isn't going to work. All right, let's get to the rest of the Sunday slate.
We will start in chronological order. We will start with Saints-Falcons.
Saints, Falcons.

Speaker 3 These two teams don't like each other. They hate each other.
The Taysom Hill game, this was the game that

Speaker 3 Sean Payton basically is saying, Taysom Hill's my future quarterback.

Speaker 5 He played like a quarterback.

Speaker 5 He played like a good quarterback. He had two touchdown passes, his first since he was like a senior in college, being 31 years old.

Speaker 3 49 games that he's played in the NFL. Hasn't had a touchdown pass.
A late bloomer, if you will.

Speaker 5 And he had two today in the rivalry game.

Speaker 3 10 for 12 passing on third downs.

Speaker 5 Against the Mormons.

Speaker 3 This was essentially Sean Payton being like, yo, we're good with Taysom Hill going forward. This is why I wanted to keep him around.
Sorry, Jameis Winston.

Speaker 3 You're shit out of luck, but Taysom Hill's our guy. And

Speaker 3 listen, Drew Brees broke 11 ribs. It came out again.
I swear to God, he keeps breaking more and more ribs until they're all broken.

Speaker 5 I mean, it was still 11.

Speaker 3 But it was 11 earlier.

Speaker 5 But every time you hear 11 ribs, it sounds like there's the next one because as far as I knew until like a week ago, the human body had like 8 or 12.

Speaker 3 12 ribs. I thought 12 this morning.
It turns out it's 24, so he broke almost half of his ribs.

Speaker 3 But the Saints are now 8-0, straight up, 8-0 against the spread without Drew Brees in the last two years. And that's a credit to their defense because their defense is incredible.

Speaker 3 I got a couple stats for you that show how incredible they are. The Saints have now gone 13 straight games without allowing a 125-yard rusher.
Okay, so what?

Speaker 3 Teams don't really rush like they used to. The Saints have gone 15 straight games without allowing a 300-yard passer.
That's crazy. That is pretty insane.

Speaker 3 Their defense is playing at an all-time level.

Speaker 3 They're suffocating opponents. They held the Falcons basically to field goals all game until the end.

Speaker 3 They're actually, their Falcons' fourth quarter touchdown was the first time in 42 drives that the Saints defense had given up a touchdown.

Speaker 5 That's crazy. Crazy.
You always think about the Saints as being an offensive football team. That's just because their brains are stuck in like the late 2000s.

Speaker 3 It's like Oregon.

Speaker 5 You see those uniforms and you're like, okay, especially like if they're wearing the all-whites, you're like, they're going to put up 40 points, but no, you're right. Their defense is awesome.

Speaker 5 Sean Payton should get more conversation for the coach of the year.

Speaker 3 He should

Speaker 5 have told me that people should talk about Sean Payton as being he's in the hunt right now for the coach of the year.

Speaker 5 If we were to make like a giant Steve Cornacki whiteboard and try to do our presentation on it, he's

Speaker 3 my top four. You want to do it now? I think he should be.
All right, I'll give him my top four.

Speaker 5 But it's only because they seem to do this when Drew Brees gets hurt, like it happened last year. Yep.
They don't really miss a step.

Speaker 3 Okay, my top four. We'll do it now.

Speaker 3 Number one.

Speaker 3 Kevin Stavansky, Cleveland Browns. Agreed.
Number two, Brian Flores, Miami Dolphins. Number three, I mean, the Dolphins have been bad forever, and he's basically turned this thing around.

Speaker 5 He leapfrogged Mike Tomlin in my own because of what he did when he tried to fight the entire Cincinnati Bengals today. Correct.
I love seeing that out of a head coach.

Speaker 3 Number three, Mike Tomlin. Number four, you're not going to like.

Speaker 5 You're going to say Joe Judge? It's Joe Judge. But I'm okay with that because Joe Judge...

Speaker 3 He's a football guy.

Speaker 5 He's a football guy. He's an interim head coach that happens to have like a four-year contract.

Speaker 3 Number five, Bill Belichick, because this might be his best coaching job ever.

Speaker 5 Oh, it's without a doubt his best coaching job of all time.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I guess Sean Payton would.

Speaker 3 Sean Payton's not going to win it because it's like Andy Reid. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 The team is expected to be good unless you're undefeated like Mike Tomlin and coming off a year where the Steelers didn't make the playoffs last year.

Speaker 3 It's hard to win Coach of the Year after a year where you were good and you've been good for a very long time. But I agree.
Sean Payton is

Speaker 3 whatever, top five coach in the league.

Speaker 5 Usually the coach of the year goes to the most improved team. Right.
Year after year.

Speaker 5 And yeah, with the Saints, it's like you expect them to be winning the NFC South, or at least like in contention to win the the NFC South every single year.

Speaker 5 But I think that he should be in the conversation.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so nine in a row for the Saints, 10 and 2. They're playing for the one seed.
They're in the driver's seat for the one seed right now, even though they lost to the Packers.

Speaker 3 The Packers have three losses.

Speaker 5 What do you say? Can we ask this question? Are they peaking too early?

Speaker 3 That is a good question. That is a really good question.

Speaker 5 And that's the perfect question to ask because then if they lose in like a freak play in the playoffs or by a blatantly blown,

Speaker 5 you'd be like, hey, I called this back in early December when they were almost too good.

Speaker 3 And unfortunately for the Falcons,

Speaker 3 you kind of aren't part of the storyline anymore. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 3 you fired your coach.

Speaker 5 They got boring pretty quickly, didn't they? Right.

Speaker 3 You fired your coach. You played okay football.

Speaker 3 You were in this game.

Speaker 3 But yeah, you're not really.

Speaker 3 Sorry, you're just not part of the storyline.

Speaker 5 I would have liked to see the Falcons kick a sad field goal at the end of the game to lose by like 19 or do something crazier, like give up a fourth quarter lead, but none of that happened.

Speaker 5 It was just like a normal team losing a game, which I guess if you're a Falcons fan, you'll take that. Yes.
This is a pretty average loss in the NFL.

Speaker 3 Absolutely. It's crazy that Youngwei Ku, they threw this stat out there.
He's never missed from 50 plus.

Speaker 5 That's nuts.

Speaker 3 So they nuts.

Speaker 5 This is a good team that could use like a short-range specialist.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely. I didn't think of that, but that's exactly where everyone's head should go.
So here's the answer to your question.

Speaker 3 If the Saints beat the Chiefs in two weeks, they will officially have peaked too early. Yep.
That will be the official moment where it's like, nope, can't have that. Peak too early.

Speaker 3 The Saints are going to fall apart in the playoffs because they've already done their best football.

Speaker 5 They would have, yeah, they've spent all their emotion on that big game against the Chiefs. One encouraging thing, if you're a Saints fan, is the return of Captain Slant.

Speaker 5 Michael Thomas is back to balling out again. I guess, you know, that has a lot to do with the quarterback that's passing the ball.

Speaker 5 If you have Taysom Hill, typically he's not going to be able to work those.

Speaker 5 Taysom doesn't really run a West Coast offense. No.
He's not your ideal quarterback for that type of game. But when they are using him, it looks like he's back to his old self.

Speaker 5 He tweeted something out earlier today. It was along the lines of, I've recalibrated myself and now I'm thankful for the system that's around me.

Speaker 5 So Michael Thomas has humbled himself after punching CeeDee Deuce in the face.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Also something to watch just in the Tickler file. I can't remember who tweeted it.
It came across my timeline, but someone was like, does Taysom Hill have really short legs and a really long torso?

Speaker 3 Something to just look into. I will look into that.
Might have been just the black pants.

Speaker 5 I think I know where that's that's coming from, though, and that's he always runs with that tilt.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So his upper body is... He's tilted forward.
Yeah, he's always, even when he's going to pass the ball, he looks like he's going to run it for seven yards.

Speaker 3 Which actually,

Speaker 3 I think that's the correct way to run. Like, if you, everyone pretty much

Speaker 3 universally runs the wrong way.

Speaker 3 I mean, I know, speaking for myself, I always run however I can make it so my tits don't jiggle as much. But I'm pretty sure you are supposed to

Speaker 3 run a little forward.

Speaker 5 Yeah, ideally. Have you ever actually looked at yourself running?

Speaker 3 it's bad so whenever

Speaker 3 whenever i'm outside

Speaker 5 i see somebody run by me yeah i look at them and i'm like wow that person's got a really fucked up run you know they do the thing where their legs go out to the side at their knees yeah i'm like what a loser i can't believe they run like that and then one time i saw myself running and i'm like that's gross that's fucking disgusting no you can't you can never look at yourself run uh no i mean i love to you know see people when i go get my donuts on saturday morning see people running being like look at this slow poke yeah

Speaker 5 go just house a bunch of donuts it looks like a really easy way to get hurt yeah Yeah.

Speaker 3 Don't run. Never run.
You're looking for. Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Steven Ruiz watching. Oh, okay.
There you go. Shout out to Stephen Ruiz.
Yes. So, yeah,

Speaker 3 I came across my timeline. I was like, you know what? I didn't think about this, but I think you're right.
I think Taysom Hill's got really short legs somehow. Somehow, some way.

Speaker 3 All right. Next up.
Sorry, Falcons fans. You're just not part of it.

Speaker 3 Lions Bears.

Speaker 5 Let's talk about your Bears.

Speaker 3 They are a bad coached football team.

Speaker 5 They suck.

Speaker 3 They're terrible. The defense has quit, which I give them full

Speaker 3 allowance to do so because I would have quit a long time ago if I were this defense. They have quit.

Speaker 3 Situational in football, terrible. Mitch Trubisky wasn't even that bad today, but that fumble is inexcusable.

Speaker 3 Allen Robinson not reaching for the sticks at the end. David Montgomery, like the imagination of an offensive wizard to just be like, all right, we need one yard.

Speaker 3 Let's just fucking plow it ahead with no offensive line. I hate everyone.

Speaker 3 The only good thing that came out of this game was, I think, a loss like that, where it's, you're up 10 at home with the ball at the 50-yard line and five minutes left, and you somehow find a way to lose, fire everyone.

Speaker 3 And it has to be fire everyone. And speaking of coach of the year, might I remind you that Matt Nagy won Coach of the Year in 2018.
That's incredible. Which means it's a completely bullshit thing.

Speaker 3 And who the fuck cares? Because guess who came in second that year?

Speaker 3 Anthony Lynn. Jesus Christ.
That is gonna be the funniest. But

Speaker 5 Anthony Lynn was probably a first-year head coach then, too, right?

Speaker 3 Matt Nagy and Anthony Lynn. Usually one and two, coach of the year, 2018.

Speaker 5 Usually, there are a lot of first-year head coaches involved in that conversation because

Speaker 5 nobody knows what they're gonna do. And so, you get a coach like Matt Nagy, and everybody is like dumbfounded by his offense, even though it's the most predictable thing.

Speaker 5 They don't have any tape to know exactly how predictable it's gonna be, right? So, in his first year, it takes the league by storm.

Speaker 3 It's just, it's a bad coach team. It's a bad football team.
They've lost six in a row. No, five in a row.

Speaker 3 And the worst part is, and we'll get to the NFC playoff picture, like eight and eight, nine and seven, nine and seven will get to the playoffs in the NFC this year.

Speaker 3 It falls off a deep end because of how bad the NFC East is collectively. And then you pick off each division winner, and then it just falls off.
I mean, the Cardinals lost.

Speaker 3 The Vikings are now 6-6 in it. So the Bears have a completely winnable game that they're up all game, and they've totally, you know, pissed down their legs in the most important moment.

Speaker 3 If you're Mitch Rabiski, you cannot take that fumble. You cannot have that fumble happen.
If you're Allen Robinson, you have to reach for the sticks. All these little things combined.

Speaker 3 And a totally winnable game. You piss it away, fire everyone.
The franchise is a joke. I'm so sick of it.
It doesn't even hurt. Like, that didn't even hurt because Witching Hour was so crazy.

Speaker 3 I just looked up and I was like, are you going to get it?

Speaker 5 You kind of lost your sauce a little bit. Like,

Speaker 5 the ending of that game kind of paled in comparison to some of the other crazy ass endings that we saw.

Speaker 5 It's actually a good thing that the Jets ending happened the way that it did because it totally took all the distraction away from the Bears. It sucks for you.

Speaker 5 It sucks that Matt Patricia got fired the week before that you need to come back in the fourth quarter against him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because this was Daryl Bevel. Shout out Daryl Bevel.
Like, I don't, I mean, he kind of just let the Bears be the Bears there. But, yeah, that was like the most anti-Lions win ever.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was crazy. And Peterson, he did have his customary 3.5 yards passing.

Speaker 3 And he played the Bears.

Speaker 5 And Matt Stafford always lights the Bears up. Like, what do you have, like, 400 yards pass?

Speaker 3 The defense quit. I'm fine with it.
I'm fine with the defense quitting. I have no problem with the defense quitting.

Speaker 3 I just, here's where I'm at with the Bears, and this is the danger territory: is that you, if I can't be hurt, that means I'm apathetic.

Speaker 3 I've callused over to the point where a loss like that doesn't even stun me because I just know it's a bad coach football team in a

Speaker 3 poor fundamentals, and situational football is not addressed and like all these things.

Speaker 5 Apathy is when it actually gets to be the worst. Apathy means that you got to fire everybody because if you're mad, it means that you care.

Speaker 3 Right. And I still care, but I just like it was to be expected the way this kind of fell apart.
Like you looked up and the Bears were in cruise control all game.

Speaker 3 You looked up and you're like, oh, they're going to fucking lose this game because they're a joke of a franchise.

Speaker 5 I think what Matt Patricia proved is that coaching football is actually harder than rocket science. Yes.
Once and for all, it's put an end to that age-old debate.

Speaker 3 2018, Coach of the Year, Matt Nagy, runner-up, Anthony Lynn. Unreal.
Both probably going to get fired. All right.
Next up, let's talk about a good football team, the Cleveland Browns. Yes.

Speaker 3 The Cleveland Browns have officially had their statement win. This was an ass-kicking.

Speaker 5 These Cleveland Browns, and when I say these, I mean the Cleveland Browns that we saw today. These Cleveland Browns can win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 They're not going to play. They're not going to play like this.
Yes. This isn't the Cleveland Browns.

Speaker 3 A team, if you score on your first six possessions every game, you could win the Super Bowl. I'm not talking about

Speaker 5 the Cleveland Browns. I'm saying these Cleveland Browns would win the Super Bowl.
That was the funnest half of football that I've seen all year for any team, I think.

Speaker 3 It was an ass-kicking, like a true ass-kicking. And you'll look at the score and you'll say 41-35 and be like, oh, it must have been.
No, no, no. It was an ass-kicking.

Speaker 3 The Titans came back because that's kind of only the logical thing that would happen in that situation. It was almost like Mario Kart getting lightning in eighth place.

Speaker 3 Like, the Titans were going to score a few touchdowns, but this game was an out-and-out asking. Six straight scores to start the game.

Speaker 3 They completely bottled up Derrick Henry, made him fumble for the first time in a really long time.

Speaker 5 By the way, side note, I love it when announcers say, This player takes a lot of pride in not fumbling. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I know it doesn't really mean anything, but when they single a player out and say that about him, I feel good. I'm like,

Speaker 5 that guy likes details.

Speaker 3 Right. Ezekiel Elliott takes a lot of pride in fumbling.
Yeah. Derek Carr, a lot of pride in fumbling.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he washes his hand in butter.

Speaker 3 So it does happen. But Baker was phenomenal.
Baker had four touchdowns. He was sick.
And this is also like, these are the games. I think we all know kind of what Baker is now.

Speaker 3 He is a good quarterback that can play great at times, but he's good.

Speaker 3 He's not going to be. I don't think Baker will ever be a top five quarterback of the league, but you can win with Baker Mayfield.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 I think he's a very good quarterback.

Speaker 5 And it's great to see Baker happy because when I see Sad Baker, sad baker just makes everybody sad absolutely there's just there's no wind in his sails he's drooped over he does things like he wears that giant trench coat where he looks like uh both a homeless person who murdered somebody and the detective who's been hired to catch him at the same time when he's happy and he's like skanking down the field and high-stepping that's that's fucking fun to watch and i want to give credit massive credit to Billy Football for pointing this out like a month and a half ago, two months ago, that Derrick Henry, not a great short yardage back at times.

Speaker 5 There were like three or four times when he got the ball and he he got hit in the backfield today. And like Billy said, his legs are too long.
They're a giant target.

Speaker 3 The fourth and one.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the fourth and one actually kind of changed the course of the game. Yeah.
Because that was, you know, it was in the first quarter, and the Titans go for it fourth and one.

Speaker 3 The Browns then stop them and go right back down and score again, and you blink, and it's like a 14-point game out of nowhere. And then you just, the route was on.

Speaker 3 So the Browns, nine wins. They have hit their over

Speaker 3 for the Vegas prop.

Speaker 3 This is now, so in the last 13 years, they're now 3-10 for hitting the over in the prop. That's awesome.

Speaker 5 So good for them.

Speaker 3 Also, just a shout-out again, Nick Chubb, Wyatt Teller. We've talked about these guys.
So Nick Chubb is

Speaker 3 one of the best running backs, Wyatt Teller, one of the best guards. The Browns are 7-1 with those two guys, 2-2 without.
They make a huge, huge difference. And yeah, this is the statement win.

Speaker 3 Like, Cleveland Brown fans should wake up this morning and be as happy as they have been. If you are a 30-year-old Cleveland Browns fan, this might actually be the happiest you've ever woken up.

Speaker 5 Oh, it might be because the last time you made the playoffs was

Speaker 5 16 years ago.

Speaker 3 Two? Two. I want to say 20.

Speaker 5 16 years. I think 2004.
Maybe 2004. I think they made it one of those.

Speaker 3 It's kind of cheap.

Speaker 5 But yeah, this is awesome for the city of Cleveland.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, you were like 12 years old.

Speaker 5 I would encourage

Speaker 5 anybody that's looking for a bandwagon team, jump on the Browns bandwagon because they're fun to watch when they play well. They've got a good defense at times.

Speaker 5 When Miles Garrett's playing, I should preface it by saying, like, Miles Garrett being on the field makes a giant

Speaker 3 giant defense. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 So, did he have the Coco or did he just

Speaker 5 say that?

Speaker 3 I think he had it, and I think it might have been like he had maybe symptoms. I don't know.
He felt like he was out, and there wasn't a lot of talk about him.

Speaker 3 When was the last time Brown had the playoffs?

Speaker 5 He's not going to have it again, which is good.

Speaker 3 You got it?

Speaker 7 2002 lost wild card playoffs at Steelers 33.

Speaker 5 Tim Couch.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that was a Tim Couch, Kelly Holt.

Speaker 3 It's been that long. It's been that long.

Speaker 5 Offensive coordinator Bruce Arians.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, so shout out. I want to say it's the longest, but it might be the Bucs.
The Bucs might be the longest. The Bucs haven't made the playoffs in a while.
Are you sure?

Speaker 3 The Bucs haven't made the playoffs in a really long time.

Speaker 3 That would be crazy. I feel like they're.

Speaker 3 I think the

Speaker 3 yeah, he'll get the droughts. He'll get the droughts.
Bucs have been not in the playoffs for a very long time as well. But yeah, Cleveland, be happy.

Speaker 3 This is the happiest you have been in a very long time. Don't let anyone talk shit about your football team.
You're a good football team. And who the fuck knows? Bucs 03.

Speaker 3 So it was one year after. So, yeah, the Bucs have been.
That's a long time, right?

Speaker 3 You would have guessed that.

Speaker 5 No, I would have guessed much, much later than that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Bucs have been very bad for a very long time as well.

Speaker 5 Our in-house Browns fan, Jeff D. Lowe, was what's the word? Apocoplectic?

Speaker 3 Apoplectic.

Speaker 3 Apoplectic.

Speaker 5 So in this game, the Browns, Browns fans have been burned before.

Speaker 3 I get that.

Speaker 7 I got Bucs 07.

Speaker 3 Okay, 07.

Speaker 5 Sims, I think. I understand.
That's right. They got beat by the Washington football team.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 That was 05. 07 was wild cards of Giants.

Speaker 3 Got it. That was Chris Sims, I think.

Speaker 5 Both of Chris Sims. Yeah.
He's really an elite quarterback.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So Jeff D.
Lowe was sitting next to me, as he often does on Sundays, and they were up 20 in the fourth quarter, and he was like, if the Titans score, it's a 13-point game.

Speaker 3 So he was freaking out the whole time. And as he's freaking out, everything he was freaking out about happened to the Bears.
And I was like, well, that's just. Because you know what?

Speaker 3 It sucks to say the Bears go to the playoffs. Like the Bears sprout up every, you know, 10 years with a decent team.
That's probably the only difference between the Bears and the Browns.

Speaker 3 85, and then the Bears have like every 10 years where they're like, or you know, it's 10 years where they're like, oh, here are the Bears. But other than that, they both kind of stink as franchises.

Speaker 3 I'll admit that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but it's funny watching certain Browns fans think like, okay, this is going to happen. I've read this book a million times before.
We're about to blow a huge fourth quarter lead.

Speaker 5 Why can't things things ever be easy for us? It's like you're up 20 points against the Tennessee Titans

Speaker 5 on the road.

Speaker 5 That's as easy as you could have hoped for about this game. So yeah, the Browns are such a fun team to watch.
I'm rooting for the Browns and the FC, Browns and the Bills.

Speaker 3 Kevin Stefanski, coach of the year, should definitely be in there. But yeah, awesome game for the Browns.

Speaker 3 The statement win we've kind of all been waiting for, where, you know, they beat the Colts, who are a good team, playoff team.

Speaker 3 But this was the game where, especially with the Titans, what they did to the Colts last week.

Speaker 3 And the Titans are back to, I think we did, I think we said it on Friday, but the Titans are officially just, I don't, I'm not even going to call them frauds.

Speaker 3 They're going to be a tough out in January, but I do not trust them whatsoever.

Speaker 5 I think Mike Varibel probably wants to fight his entire team right now. Yeah.
Because they weren't physical in the middle. And he should.
Yeah, the boys. Don't get bullied.

Speaker 5 If I were the boys, I would get my fighting gloves on right now.

Speaker 3 Shout out the boys. Yeah, I would fight all the boys.
Yeah. Interns, everyone.

Speaker 5 Men versus boys. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Guys, football guys.

Speaker 3 Football guys.

Speaker 5 Versus football boys.

Speaker 3 And we're not going to fight them.

Speaker 5 No, I would never. But.

Speaker 3 I'm a Quaker. Someone should.
All right. Next up.

Speaker 3 Billy, anything?

Speaker 3 No, I'm fine. Okay.
Next up, Bengals Dolphins.

Speaker 3 The game that Red Zone forgot. Yep, nothing.
He literally forgot that this game was on.

Speaker 5 Tua played. That was nice.

Speaker 3 There was a fight?

Speaker 5 His agent before the game accidentally tweeted out, or I guess he put on Facebook because he's 90 years old, but he said that Tua was going to be playing, so he's going to go down to the game, watch him play.

Speaker 5 He immediately deleted that Facebook post and then re-put it up and said, I'm going to go down there and watch Dolphins because who knows what could happen.

Speaker 5 And so he kind of let the cat of the bag, but really, it didn't really, it didn't matter at all because the Dolphins are a good team. The Bengals are not a good team.

Speaker 5 And the Dolphins still very much in the playoff picture.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and I don't, so we watched some of this game.

Speaker 5 And the fight was cool, too.

Speaker 3 The fight was cool.

Speaker 5 Seeing Brian Flores run onto the field and having like a bunch of 300-pound guys have to hold him back from trying to fight the entire opposing team. I love to see that.

Speaker 3 It also, I mean, the reason why we didn't see red zone is that the Bengals scored like a really long touchdown early, and that was it for them. The Dolphins kicked a bunch of field goals.

Speaker 3 Tua, like, no huddle Tua works. Whatever was the beginning of the game, the first half, didn't really work.
And

Speaker 3 I guess really all you're rooting for right now, because Tua is still, I mean, it's the sixth game.

Speaker 3 You just hope that Brian Flores doesn't have to pull him again. Yeah, but I don't think he might keep doing that.

Speaker 5 I think Brian Flores likes pulling him.

Speaker 5 I think in his mind, he's like, gets off on it. He gains a little bit of cred in locker room when he shows that he's not afraid to take out his number two or what was he? Number

Speaker 3 six, six?

Speaker 3 The second overall quarterback.

Speaker 5 Yes, yeah. He's not afraid to do something crazy and take him out, put the wily old veteran in.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and so the Dolphins, though, so this one was a game they should have won. One, you know,

Speaker 3 again, Red Zone completely forgot it. The gauntlet starts now, though.
They have the Chiefs next, Patriots at Raiders, at Bills.

Speaker 3 If the Dolphins want to be considered real, and real is a subjective term here because they're building something. They're not like, no one's like, hey, the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 But the Dolphins, if they go 2-2 down this stretch, people will be talking about the Dolphins. That would be a 10-6

Speaker 3 in playing four good teams and winning two of those games.

Speaker 3 You'd have no choice but to respect the Dolphins. So I'm excited to see how they do in this four-game stretch.

Speaker 5 I think that they're not a real team yet. They're a dangerous team.
The Dolphins are a team that you don't want to play right now.

Speaker 3 Here's the one thing that's good for them: they have the Chiefs and the Patriots at home, which I just always assume the Dolphins have a huge home advantage in December when cold weather teams go there and like sweat for the first time in two months.

Speaker 3 They're like, this is new.

Speaker 5 I think it might be the opposite. I think the teams might be just super excited to go to Miami.
Just party it up.

Speaker 5 Well, now,

Speaker 5 what's the situation with the Cap and the Dolphins? Because I could see Miami being like a free agent destination this offseason.

Speaker 5 Really, anytime that the Dolphins are halfway decent with an okay quarterback, I assume that players will be lining up to go play in Miami.

Speaker 3 Well, guess what? They do have, I think, two, maybe three draft picks this year. So they have the Texans, right? Do they have

Speaker 3 two first-round picks and two second-round picks coming up? The Dolphins are going to be good. Yeah.
Like, this is, they are doing everything right to build a franchise.

Speaker 3 And now it all hinges on Tua because you can do everything right. And if the quarterback is not the guy, then you are chasing that mistake forever, Bears.

Speaker 3 So you better hope Tua is the guy. But if Tua is the guy, the Dolphins have done everything right, and they will be a force to be reckoned with going forward.

Speaker 5 I think Tua is a guy.

Speaker 3 We'll see if he's a guy.

Speaker 3 All right. Next up, Jaguars-Vikings.
This game was sloppy, frustrating, ridiculous.

Speaker 3 The Jaguars fought Mike Glennon, like not terrible Mike Glennon took the Jaguars 80 yards or whatever it was to tie the game and then of course there was an interception and overtime I I don't really know what to make of the Vikings because it feels like they're just in the like last week they were in that game against the Panthers where they win that game coming back they lose to the Cowboys they're six and six and right now could easily get into the playoffs but no one trusts them and when they use Dalvin Cook they look awesome and when they don't they look terrible I think the Vikings kind of take on the personality of whatever team they're playing against.

Speaker 5 They just match and mirror personality like Andy Bernard. And Mike Lennon, yeah,

Speaker 5 he was okay. He was electric today.
He wasn't great, but he definitely gives RG3 a run for his money when it comes to figuring out who the biggest spaz in the league is.

Speaker 5 Mike Lennon is a total spaz when he's on the field. When he runs, he looks like he's going to get broken in half.

Speaker 5 Sometimes it looks like he's just going to fall down backwards like he slipped on a banana peel by mistake. He'll throw it to any linebacker that he sees, and he fumbles all the time.

Speaker 5 He's fun to watch.

Speaker 3 He's one of those runners that he will run at like the absolute, like every other outlet has been exhausted.

Speaker 3 He does not want to run. No, he runs.
You know, he physically just, he has to run because there's 17 guys about to take his head off. Then and only then will he run.

Speaker 5 Yeah, his body is not meant to run. His body is to stand tall in a pocket and deliver a strong pass.
But yeah, it's like watching a worm fly. He does not look comfortable at all.

Speaker 3 He's run first quarterbacks. He's run last quarterback.

Speaker 5 Yes, very, very last option.

Speaker 3 As last as they get.

Speaker 5 We had a ton of just really hilariously weird quarterbacks starting this week. I don't want to say like the worst quarterbacks that we've ever seen in one week.
No, definitely don't say that.

Speaker 3 It's just been way worse.

Speaker 5 Yeah, way worse. But we had a lot of weird ones, like Brandon Allen, Glennon.
We had just

Speaker 3 Kendall Hinton last week. That's true.

Speaker 5 Jason Hill qualifies as weird, I think.

Speaker 3 Still, so Kirk Cousins, let's give Kirk Cousins a shout-out. He is playing well.

Speaker 3 Kirk Cousins, I will delete the tweet where I called you a fucking asshole somewhere around like two o'clock in the afternoon for a small price.

Speaker 3 But last five games, Kirk Cousins, 14 touchdowns, two interceptions, 288 yards a game. He's playing well.
He is playing well.

Speaker 3 He still makes Kirk Cousins type mistakes every now and then.

Speaker 3 That pick six to start the second half was like, oh, God, here we go. Kirk Cousins, what are you doing? But the Vikings fight.
They fight and they don't give up.

Speaker 3 And like when Dalvin Cook is going, they are a little bit scary. And Justin Jefferson.
So Justin Jefferson is now second all-time in rookie receivers for yards through the first 12 games.

Speaker 3 Odell was number one. Justin Jefferson, Aquan Bolden, Randy Moss, number four.
That's pretty good territory.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, he's having a better rookie year than Randy Moss did in Minnesota, which is, I mean, anytime you say that, you're doing something right.

Speaker 5 And he's, well, I guess through this amount of games, he's still ahead of Josh Gordon. But that one year that Josh Gordon had.

Speaker 3 It's just rookie. This is just rookie years.
So this is,

Speaker 3 it just made me think, though, like what Randy Moss, what a rookie Randy Moss would do to today's NFL.

Speaker 5 If he had a good quarterback, yeah. Like, did it pass interference rules?

Speaker 3 You know, 22 years ago, the league was very, very different. I think, I think about, like, the

Speaker 3 number one receiver 22 years ago would land somewhere like 1,300, 1,400 yards. Now it's like 17, 1,800 yards.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he'd be in baby brawn territory week in and week out. Actually, you know, we always say like, if Kyrie Irving existed in the 1920s, they'd think he was a witch or something like that? Yep.

Speaker 5 I think that if Randy Moss existed now with his same skill set, he would be so good that we would think he was a witch in today's NFL.

Speaker 3 We should just every now and then just put in a reminder, like remind everyone that Randy Moss is the greatest and it was insane watching him when he burst on the scene. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like that offense was fucking ridiculous.

Speaker 8 And he, I mean, he, not to bring him back to the Patriots, but he like reburst on the scene with the Patriots. And that was also as electric to watch.

Speaker 8 Like when he started with the Patriots, he was like, he was considered washed up kind of.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because the Raiders was in between, right? Yeah. And the Raiders was a...
like the Raiders Randy Moss was not a good scene.

Speaker 5 No, he just smoked weed and fished all day when he was in Oakland. That's it.
And then, yeah, he got back.

Speaker 5 Randy Moss was one of those guys when you'd watch him run, you'd think he wasn't running fast at all.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 In reality, he was the fastest player on the jogging he looked like he was jogging and he was running by everyone else yep effortless stride length stride length uh the vikings schedule coming up so they're six and six i actually do think eight and eight can make the playoffs with the way the cardinals are playing uh

Speaker 3 and with the way the bears have just fallen off and maybe the 49ers will get back into it we'll see them on monday night but the vikings do have a tough schedule coming up uh they play the bucks they play the bears that will be an easy win they play at the Saints, and then they play the Lions.

Speaker 3 So they have the Bears and the Lions, but the Bucks and Saints is going to be tough.

Speaker 5 So right now in the NFC, we're penciling in some combination of the Rams, the Seahawks, and then Tampa Bay.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, I basically did it this way. You're going to have an NFC East, the Packers, the Saints, the Rams.
So those are your four. You need three more after that.

Speaker 3 I said Bucs, Seahawks, and then the last one will come from Cardinals, 49ers, or Vikings.

Speaker 3 That seems fair, right? Yep. So it's really just who can play, like if the Cardinals, I mean, sorry, if the 49ers beat the Bills tomorrow night, they're absolutely right back in this.

Speaker 3 Like there's no doubt about it. They're back in this thing.
Yeah. Which is insane to say with how many injuries they've had and how like

Speaker 3 you know there's been times where remember when they got blown out by the dolphins like there have been times when the 49ers have looked deader than dead.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're they're a team that I can't get a pulse on because they've looked deader than dead, but they've also just blown the shit out of teams. Right.
So yeah.

Speaker 5 I like, yeah, I like the Rams. I like the Bucs, obviously.
And then I think I am going, I'm leaning towards the Vikings, which would be crazy considering how they started the year. Let's see.

Speaker 3 So the Vikings, so like I said, the Vikings have to play the Bucs and the Saints still, at Bucs, at Saints, which is not easy.

Speaker 3 The 49ers have the Bills, the Washington football team, at the Cowboys, at the Cardinals. So you'd say that seems like a...
you know, they could go three and one down.

Speaker 5 At the Cardinals is a home game for them. Yes, that's true.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 they play three of their next four in Arizona so they're good but yeah that's not uh it'll be interesting I wouldn't mind seeing the 49ers sneak in there just just as a tip to how good of like now a coach yeah if the 49ers sneak in Kyle Shanahan moves up into our coach of the year power ranking yes I'd agree he's got you got to put him up there in the top five

Speaker 5 there's a real easy recipe to winning coach of the year I mean it's not easy to do but the formula's there well it's if you're you're a new coach and you turn a team around or if your quarterback gets injured and you overperform expectations.

Speaker 3 And throw in just a little dash of, we are the definition of prisoners of the moment. Yes.

Speaker 3 So if you do something cool on prime time in front of us, we will be like, like Vic Fangio right now, we're taping this during the third quarter. Vic Fangio's in my coach of the year.

Speaker 3 They're leading the Chiefs by four in the third quarter. Vic Fangio might be coach of the year.

Speaker 5 So if that fake pun had worked on Thanksgiving for the Cowboys, Mike McCarthy would have been in coach of the year. Right.
Like, nobody saw that fake coming from your own eight-yard line. Right.

Speaker 3 If you you want some, if you want well-reasoned takes, if you want people who have thought the long, long-term,

Speaker 3 this isn't a podcast for you, but you already knew that. We are knee-jerk prisoners of the moment.

Speaker 5 And likewise, I wanted to throw Chuck Pagano into an ocean when they ran that fake punt in prime time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yes, yes, absolutely. Because guess what? Here's even more prisoner of the moment because I pretty much just canceled the entire Chicago Bears franchise.

Speaker 3 I'm just going to throw this out there: Texans, Vikings, Jaguars. I don't know.
They could get back in this.

Speaker 3 Hmm.

Speaker 3 Let's see. That's why today actually did kind of hurt.
Texans and Vikings, Jaguars.

Speaker 5 They had to win today. They had to win today.
They had to win today.

Speaker 3 They had to win today. I know they had to win today.

Speaker 3 And they weren't going to beat the Packers week 17.

Speaker 5 You know what? No matter what. So speaking of having to win today, if the Browns had lost today, which I think a lot of people expected them to, they were underdogs.
It would have been tough for them.

Speaker 5 The Browns have a hard schedule coming forward.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it does.

Speaker 5 And it would have taken everybody to a place like, oh, God, here we go again. Yes.
Because they would have had to win two very difficult games.

Speaker 3 Jeff D. Lowe was there, so everyone would have shown up and he would have been like, hey, seats warm.
Yeah. I'm here for you.
No, but you're right.

Speaker 3 Today was a very big, like, had-to-win day for a bunch of teams. And, you know, the Browns, the Vikings.

Speaker 5 Oh, you know what today was?

Speaker 3 It was.

Speaker 5 The Colts did it. Last week was moving day.
This today was Separation Sunday.

Speaker 3 Separation Sunday. It's true.
It feels like the playoff picture is starting to make a lot more sense now.

Speaker 3 All right, before we get to the the next game, the Christmas season is coming up. I'm thinking about buying a video game for people that I'm close to.

Speaker 5 You're going to buy it as a gift?

Speaker 3 I think I'm going to buy someone a video game.

Speaker 5 You want to buy somebody a video game so they'll re-gift it to you. Yeah.
Which is good. I've got a good recommendation for you.

Speaker 3 You do? I do. Whoa, that's called.

Speaker 5 That's called Cyberpunk 2077. Okay.

Speaker 5 It's from our good friends at Project Red. They are the ones that made The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt, and now they're coming out with Cyberpunk 2077.

Speaker 5 It's an open-world, first-person action-adventure set in the future of Night City. I like the sound of that.
Is that the one where you're saying that you can create their...

Speaker 5 You can customize your genital. Okay, I'm getting this game.

Speaker 3 I'm getting this game. So, like, create a player, you can slip that in there whenever you want.

Speaker 5 Can I give my dude a micro and make him really aggressive?

Speaker 3 You could give him a man gina if you wanted to.

Speaker 5 I like that. So, you play as V, and V is a cyber-enhanced mercenary taking on the riskiest job of his life,

Speaker 5 or his or her. I'm not sure.
I guess you can customize it and figure out what you you want to do. You play alongside the legendary Johnny Silverhand, played by Keanu Reeves.

Speaker 5 I'm double in. Yeah.
You're equipped with an ability altering cyberware. You have high-tech weapons, hacking skills, and more.

Speaker 5 Experience and mature, multi-layered narrative where your choices shape the story and world around you. Cyberpunk 2077 is out December 10th.

Speaker 5 It's coming out this week for Xbox One, PC, and PlayStation 4. I'm going to play it.
I'm going to give it a shot. It plays great also on Xbox Series 10, Xbox Series X, and PlayStation 5.

Speaker 5 It's rated InfraMature. That's how you know it's good.
Infromature. Check it out.
Cyberpunk 2077 from our good friends at CD Projekt Red.

Speaker 3 Love it. All right.
Next up, Raiders Jets. The greatest tanking win, which actually was a loss, of all time.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 which

Speaker 3 I mean, it was crazy. This game was crazy.

Speaker 5 Let's talk about the end of the game.

Speaker 3 Let's talk about Dr. Heat.

Speaker 5 The very end of the game. Greg Williams, the mad scientist, he's addicted to pinning his ears back and dialing it up.
He loves fucking calling zero blitzes.

Speaker 3 His name's Dr. Heat.
It's his own nickname. I think he called himself Dr.
Heat.

Speaker 5 That's how he got it. Dr.
Heat, he's a blitz fanatic. And what's crazy is the last, so right off the bat, the last two play calls are just indefensible.

Speaker 3 They should have won on the second to last play.

Speaker 5 Ironically, it's indefensible. And the second to last, the dude was more open than on the very last play.

Speaker 5 He loves pinning his fucking ears back. And so here's a fun stat.

Speaker 3 Oh, you got the Schefter one? The Shefter stat, yeah.

Speaker 5 The Jets sent the house seven pass rushers on the Raiders' game-winning touchdown. It was a Hail Mary where only a touchdown hurts them.

Speaker 5 It's unheard of in their data set that goes all the way back to 2006. They're the only team since 2006 to send six or more pass rushers that met all three of these qualifiers.

Speaker 5 The final 15 seconds of regulation between four and an eight-point lead and 40-plus yards to the end zone.

Speaker 5 There's been 251 pass plays run in that situation since 2006, and this is the only time that it's ever been done. You live by the blitz, you die by the blitz.

Speaker 3 You live by the blitz, you die by the blitz. Here's another fun fact,

Speaker 3 fun stat. Dr.
Heat did this exact same thing. Do you remember?

Speaker 3 The 2012 divisional round against the 49ers, the Saints versus 49ers. The Saints are up

Speaker 3 three

Speaker 3 with a minute and a half left, and he just starts blitzing. He plays prevent for a couple plays.
He starts blitzing like crazy, and the 49ers score a touchdown to win the game. Like, this is Dr.
Heat.

Speaker 3 Saints fans, sorry for the trigger warning. You were 13 and 3 that year.
You probably should have gone to the Super Bowl, but Dr. Heat showed up and was like, guess what?

Speaker 3 We're going to blitz, blitz, blitz, blitz, blitz, and then blitz some more.

Speaker 5 That was the bounty year, too, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think bounty year was the Vikings NFC championship.

Speaker 5 Okay, because I was going to say, when you're playing against the Raiders, he was probably keeping it.

Speaker 3 No, it was against the 49ers.

Speaker 5 He didn't know, like, they don't have anybody good enough for for him to put a bounty on on offense.

Speaker 5 He's like, oh, shit, if we take him out, then we have to deal with Nathan Peterman.

Speaker 3 So it's...

Speaker 3 I saw our friend Booger tweeted that he thinks that Dr. Heat just did it because he hates Adam Gace

Speaker 3 and he wants Adam Gase to have an 0-16 record. Honestly, that's the type of spite, which I totally buy.

Speaker 5 I respect the hell out of that move if that's what the motivation was.

Speaker 3 But it's also just Dr. Heat's addicted to bringing the heat.
Yeah, he cannot do anything but bring the heat.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he calls plays like you say when you're sending, you're playing Madden and you're like, fuck it, I'm down 15, you know, 15 points with four minutes left in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 5 And you just start like mashing buttons to call your defense.

Speaker 3 It'd be like going over to Greg Williams' house and being like having dinner and being like, hey, Greg, I like my steak medium rare. And he's like, no, dude, I'm Dr.
Heat.

Speaker 3 Like, you're getting it burnt. Yep.
I only cook on high heat all the time, 24-7, 365. That's Dr.
Heat, baby. You get in his car, the fucking seat warmers are on.

Speaker 5 Dr. Heat.
Which I love. I love that about Greg Williams.
But this was, it was so ridiculous because I did take the Jets' money line.

Speaker 5 I did tell Big Cat to take the Raiders out of the can't-lose parliament.

Speaker 3 For who?

Speaker 5 For the Seattle Seahawks.

Speaker 3 Because you hate the Giants. No, because the Giants hate it.

Speaker 5 No, because of the Seahawks.

Speaker 5 It was the right call. No, it wasn't.

Speaker 5 The Jets should have won this.

Speaker 3 It was objectively not.

Speaker 5 If it wasn't for the worst defensive play calling in the last 14 years of football. But that's Dr.
Heat. That's Dr.
Heat.

Speaker 3 You can't say that. You have to know that if that situation arises, Dr.
Heat will be bringing the heat.

Speaker 5 I was a little bit correct about the Raiders going through their late season

Speaker 5 downswing when John Gruden has sleep deprivation and he gets angry all the time because he's lost a couple games and he just falls off a cliff sometimes towards the end of the year. But you're right.

Speaker 5 This is Dr. Heat.
It's Dr. Heat.
And although it was the right call, I knew going into it that I'm essentially betting on a rabid badger to coach my defense.

Speaker 5 And so I got fucked over by him.

Speaker 3 You did, Dr. Heat got you.
He burnt you. The Raiders, we just said, save your season kind of weekend.

Speaker 3 This was a full-on save your season game because if the Raiders lose this, they don't come back from it.

Speaker 3 And they, you know, they don't, the rest of their schedule isn't super hard, but this was a game you can't lose to the Jets when you're trying to get into the playoffs.

Speaker 3 It's crazy that the Raiders have had this like mini swoon where they got absolutely just

Speaker 3 fucking punked by the Falcons last week, then almost lose to the Jets, who are 0-11 or 0-12, whatever it is now,

Speaker 3 all because they're kind of reading their press clippings because they played the Chiefs close. Yeah, like they didn't even win that game against the Chiefs.

Speaker 3 You would have thought that they won that game against the Chiefs with how they played the last two weeks. No, they're just not playing well.
But guess what? A win is a win. Don't apologize for wins.

Speaker 3 Derek Carr.

Speaker 3 Oh, so Darren Waller was incredible. Fourth wide receiver, fourth tight end, sorry,

Speaker 3 to have 200 yards or more since since the NFL merger. That's crazy.
Only four.

Speaker 3 Greg Kittle

Speaker 3 had it two years ago. No big deal.

Speaker 5 I think he had it in a half, too. Yeah, he did.

Speaker 3 But Darren Waller was insane today. Derek Carr is so good at climbing the pocket and then throwing it to no one.

Speaker 3 Every time he climbs the pocket, I'm like, oh my God, he's climbing the pocket. This is great.
He doesn't float like Mahomes. He's actually better at climbing the pocket than Mahomes.

Speaker 5 Well, I think that it...

Speaker 5 It looks that way to us watching because you put yourself in a quarterback's shoes and anytime somebody steps towards a defensive line running directly at them, you're like,

Speaker 5 that guy's fucking awesome.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're like, completion. You're like, oh, he sees someone.
Here it comes.

Speaker 3 I think that's man in our brain.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would run away if I were in that position. Right.

Speaker 3 Stepping up and being like, oh, here comes an easy completion. He did it like three or four times where he just beautiful step up, pockets collapsing around him.

Speaker 3 Beautiful pocket presence, throws the ball, not a receiver within 15 yards.

Speaker 5 Now, if you're a Jets fan, you have to put this in a little bit of perspective because you might, there's a world where five years from now, you look back at the hiring of Adam Gase and Greg Williams, and that's the most important move any franchise has ever made.

Speaker 3 The profit.

Speaker 5 You look back fondly on those years. You're like, you know what, we had to go through a little bit of hell to get to heaven.
And they're doing a great job of tanking.

Speaker 5 You could not have designed the end of that game any better if you were Greg Williams and you were trying to get Trevor Lawrence, which he they will get Trevor Lawrence, but Greg Williams won't be around there to reap the benefits of it whatsoever.

Speaker 5 This was just him doing a solid for every Jets fan out there.

Speaker 3 So I totally agree.

Speaker 3 He reminds me we have a new hire here at Barstool. His name's Ben Mintz.
He's from Louisiana. He's an Ole Miss grad.

Speaker 3 He actually calls Elijah Moore the guy who did the fake piss in the end zone, the prophet. Yeah.
Because that started a string of events that got him hired at Barstool.

Speaker 3 Like Lane, like, you know, whoever the fat guy got fired. Lane Kiffin got hired.
Ole Miss had a little bit, you know, was a little good. They win a big game.
He gets taped celebrating the big game.

Speaker 3 Dave sees him, hires him. Elijah Moore is a prophet.
Adam Gace is your prophet.

Speaker 5 You could also draw a lot of connections to that first piss in the Egg Bowl and then Mississippi changing their state flag. Yes.
There's a lot of

Speaker 3 profit.

Speaker 3 Elijah Moore is the prophet.

Speaker 5 We should rename the butterfly effect of just like the Moore pissing effect to Elijah Moore. Yeah, the state of Mississippi has created a massive ripple effect across the country.
But you're right.

Speaker 3 That is

Speaker 5 the moment with Adam Gace and Greg Williams. The two of them are just, I don't know why they ever agreed to work together.
Just another bit of brilliance from Adam Gase, like finding the one guy

Speaker 5 that could make him worse as a head coach and hiring him as your defensive coordinator, knowing that that guy would do everything that he could to undermine you.

Speaker 5 So you're not in any danger of your defense accidentally getting good enough to win you games.

Speaker 5 It's just, it's a stroke of brilliance.

Speaker 3 Now that I'm thinking about it, the only thing that could have made this Jets team better in terms of just unlikable characters leading them to an 0-16,

Speaker 3 we should have had Todd Haley calling offensive plays. God damn it, that would be good.
Could you imagine? I mean, that would have been perfect. Well, you know, that would have been perfect.

Speaker 5 I think that Greg Williams and Todd Haley.

Speaker 5 They can't coexist in the same. Hugh Jackson was

Speaker 5 the only mastermind that could have put those two in a room and had them not kill each other.

Speaker 3 Well, because Hugh Jackson would just, anytime they got mad at each other, he'd be like, I'm the boss. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I'm the boss. He's like, I'm going to go with.
He'd just alternate which side that he would take. So it didn't seem like he was playing favorites.

Speaker 3 But Jets fans, so there was, I saw a graphic, and it was, it was like the end of a game

Speaker 3 win probability. It was first pick probability.

Speaker 3 And there was a moment in time where the Jets were winning and the Vikings were winning before Mike Lennon took the drive against the Jaguars, where the Jets basically was like a 50-50 chance the Jets would have the first pick.

Speaker 3 And then it goes back to normal. So the Jets, you're still on plan.
Like, you have to root for them to lose. You cannot have them do anything else.
You have to be thrilled with this loss.

Speaker 3 This is actually the, I said at the beginning here, but that's the best tanking loss you could ever have because the game was fun. Sam Donald looked okay.
Hyperdrive worked for a little bit, and

Speaker 3 you win the game, and then you lose it because of Dr. Heat.
There's nothing better than that.

Speaker 5 Sam Donald looked okay, but he also looked, he didn't look that okay.

Speaker 3 I meant he had he had some bad turnovers. Sam Darnold had four touchdowns rushing and passing combined between weeks one and 12.
He had three

Speaker 3 this week. So that's why he looked okay.
Yeah. He almost doubled his touchdowns in one game.

Speaker 5 Dr. Heat, though.

Speaker 3 In week 13.

Speaker 5 You know who else lived by the Blitz and died by the Blitz?

Speaker 3 Who? The H-Man. Oh, H-Man.

Speaker 5 Also like a tank.

Speaker 3 Should have seen that coming. Big tank.
Should have seen that coming. All right.
Next up, Colts, Texans.

Speaker 3 The Texans. That's snap at the end of the game.

Speaker 3 Here's a take you're going to hear a lot going forward. Similar to the, is this Bill Belichick's best coaching job for a 7-7 Patriots team? Is this Deshaun Watson's best season?

Speaker 3 Because he actually has been playing incredible, and he's got no, I mean, DeAndre Hopkins got traded. Will Fuller just got popped for Royds or whatever, maybe Adderall.

Speaker 3 He's got no one to throw to, and he's got a terrible, or not a terrible, but not great offensive line, and not a lot of weapons around him, and he's playing great.

Speaker 3 He's like been incredible since Bill O'Brien left.

Speaker 5 Next week in Vegas is going to be huge for the Colts. Next week, so pretty much whoever loses that game is out of the picture entirely.

Speaker 5 The Colts, I was ready to slap the fraud label on the Colts, and I probably still should. But again, as a prisoner of the moment situation, they end up winning the game.

Speaker 3 Well, so the reason why I wouldn't throw the fraud on them is that I don't ever, I've never considered them true Super Bowl contenders.

Speaker 5 That's only because they lost week one to the Jaguars.

Speaker 3 Yes, but fraud, you have to be a Super Bowl contender for me to be like fraud.

Speaker 5 Going into the season, I thought that the Colts would be a playoff contender. Yes.
They would win a a game in the playoffs.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because

Speaker 5 Phillip Rivers will look natural and blue in that color that they wear. So my dumb brain, you know, had them pegged in as the fourth best team in the AFC.
And mostly that, it was that.

Speaker 5 And also, you hear so much talk about how good their offensive line is. So I was like, yeah, they could be legit.
The Colts could be legit. Yeah.
But yeah,

Speaker 5 they're too schizophrenic for me right now.

Speaker 3 They are. And I mean, Deshaun Watson's been playing well.
The Colts survive this game. The one good thing, if

Speaker 3 you're banged up on the offensive line, Colts, so if you're a Colts fan, you're like, all right, if we can get healthy on the offensive line, it might look a little bit better.

Speaker 3 DeForest Buckner makes a huge, huge difference, which we knew because he was out last week. He got roasted by the Titans.
And then the biggest takeaway I had of this game is Phil Rivers and T.Y.

Speaker 3 Hilton finally feel like they're on the same page. Because T.Y.
Hilton's been bad this year. And I don't know if that's because they don't have any connection.
He just hasn't been, you know, T.Y.

Speaker 3 Hilton, where he's, you know, there was a stretch there where T.Y. Hilton was in that top 10 receiver class.
Now

Speaker 3 he has a good game. It feels like they're on the same page.
That makes him dangerous, even though Phil Rivers is 39 years old and can't move. It makes him dangerous.

Speaker 5 But they didn't take Phil Rivers out that much this week, or at least the parts of the game that I saw.

Speaker 5 No, it didn't seem like they were going back and forth between him and Jacoby Brissette as much as they were.

Speaker 3 No, they actually, I think Jacoby Brousette only came in twice.

Speaker 5 Was it for Hale Marys? He had two games.

Speaker 3 No, it was for rushes.

Speaker 7 See Watt, 12 catches in the last two games. The previous four games, 10 catches.
So there you go.

Speaker 3 So it feels like.

Speaker 5 He's a big rhythm guy.

Speaker 3 It feels like they're finally getting it. And also, my favorite clip of all time, the 4-5, when he was crying

Speaker 3 because his kid was born, it was just a streak. Yeah, I also.
That was such a funny clip. Unintentionally.

Speaker 5 I miss his touchdown celebrations too, the TY. Yes.
Not many people can do their initials with their arms before.

Speaker 3 Yes. So good win for the Colts.
They needed it.

Speaker 5 JJ Watt is on my hot seat simulating smoking marijuana during the game. He says he was drinking tea,

Speaker 5 but I don't know. To me,

Speaker 5 you can make the judge on your own if you look at the video of it. Looked like he hit it twice and then passed.

Speaker 8 He wasn't inhaling, though, which would be on brand for JJ. That's true.

Speaker 3 I just realized

Speaker 3 there's only two points in the second half of this game. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Crazy. That pissed me off.
Oh, you had the over? Yeah, well, I think the over hit. Let's see.
What was the final score?

Speaker 3 26-20. No, the over didn't hit.
Yeah, the overall hits. Two points in the second half.

Speaker 5 I was watching in the first half.

Speaker 3 I was like, okay, this is one I i can forget about no that no um but yeah so yeah phil rivers i mean he was effective he's phil rivers basically you're just hoping he he's like 75 percent completion percentage and every pass is like you know eight to ten yards you just hope that he doesn't dislocate any major joints i think he has some kind of injury he's fighting through he always does yeah but he doesn't talk about it no because he's a fucking warrior He's like the opposite of Ben.

Speaker 5 Played on a torn ACL?

Speaker 3 He really actually is the opposite of the Ben.

Speaker 5 How is that possible? How come Philip Rivers can play on a torn ACL and no one else has ever tried to do that? Right. It's crazy.
Yeah, Billy. He doesn't need his ACL.

Speaker 3 That's true. He doesn't move a lot.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's true. Byron Lefwich played on broken leg.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I've heard that when you repair an ACL under today's modern technology, it can actually come back stronger than it was before.

Speaker 5 So I'm wondering, are there going to be any like super high school football dads that preemptively tear their kids' ACL, like give them elective surgery

Speaker 5 where they repair it before it even gets torn in the first place?

Speaker 3 Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea.

Speaker 5 All right, so that was the you should have done that, Billy. That was the morning.
If you really love football, you would.

Speaker 3 That was the craziest witching hour we've had this year, which is crazy. It's great because if you look at those games, when you went into this Sunday, you're like, ugh, there's no really good games.

Speaker 3 But that's the beauty of the witching hour. That's the beauty of having all those games at once.
Like, just chaos.

Speaker 5 When football is hitting in that early slate, there's no better drug on earth that can come close to that.

Speaker 5 I was just looking at my TV, going back and forth between my three screens, and just screaming. I was just like yelling.
I had no idea.

Speaker 5 Like you couldn't even catch your thoughts up to what had just happened because something else equally as crazy overtook it immediately. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And that's the fucking, that's the best feeling in the world. And it feels like we haven't had too many of those witching hours.

Speaker 3 No, it's true. We had it all at the same time.
The Falcons were trying to make a comeback. The Bears were pissing down their leg.
The

Speaker 3 Jaguars and Vikings were, Mike Glennon was driving down the field and going to overtime.

Speaker 3 The Raiders were winning on a Hail Mary. And then the Texans fumbled on the one-yard line.
That all happened in like a 10-minute stretch, where it's just

Speaker 3 so hard to win in this league. I'm talking about gambling right now.
I'm not even talking about the real, the real players. Because, guess what? I got something to say for all the players out there.

Speaker 3 Sitting on the couch and trying to get a bet home is way harder than playing in the NFL.

Speaker 5 Fact. There's a reason why, yeah, there's a reason why they're out there and we're in here.

Speaker 3 Yeah, way harder. I'm not saying way harder in terms of like getting there.
Like, obviously, it's harder to get to the NFL, duh.

Speaker 3 But in terms of getting a bet to win, it's harder than actually playing in the NFL.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and the thing is, you have to monitor your bets, too.

Speaker 5 If you take your eye off a bet, like that Colts, Texans game, if you just, if you say to yourself, okay, I don't need to micromanage this one, it's just going to go crazy without your supervision.

Speaker 5 You're going to end up fucking it all over.

Speaker 5 My Jets bet.

Speaker 3 The only reason the Raiders' Jets overhit was because I put a red alert on it.

Speaker 3 I put a red alert on it in the middle of the third quarter, and I was like, hey, they're kind of not scoring right now, and they're just trading the ball back and forth. Red alert.

Speaker 3 And then they picked it up.

Speaker 5 I had Brown's money line, too. I took my eye off the ball in that game.

Speaker 3 And look what I did.

Speaker 5 I had one computer that was set up to just watch that game. And I changed it.
I put it on the Vikings. Can't do it.
And when I did, I looked back at it and it's like, wait, what's this?

Speaker 3 There's an outsides kick. Dude, red alert.
You just feel them coming. All right.
Afternoon slate. Rams, Cardinals.
The Rams kick the shit out of the Cardinals. The Cardinals are,

Speaker 3 if we're doing Coach of the Year, the Bizarro World, what's the Stranger Things? Upside down world,

Speaker 3 Coach of the Year, Cliff Kingsbury's in the running.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we call that the Hugh Jackson Award.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's a big turd dum-dum.

Speaker 3 We should actually do off the top of our head, Hugh Jackson Award, so it's got to be a coach who's still coaching. Okay, so Nagy, Anthony Lynn, Anthony,

Speaker 3 and Cliff Kingsbury. Who is the coach?

Speaker 7 Who's the one in 10 Niners team that went to 6-10 that we talked about last week?

Speaker 3 Ooh. They probably deserve it.

Speaker 3 Who was it? I don't know. It wasn't Chip Kelly, was it?

Speaker 5 Garoppolo won all six of those games after they trained.

Speaker 3 What year was that?

Speaker 5 2017?

Speaker 7 Was it 2016 or 2017? It might have been Chip Kelly.

Speaker 5 I think it was Shanahan.

Speaker 3 Was it? No, Shanahan. Yeah, Shanahan.
It might have been Charlie. It was within the Garoppolo trip.
Well, no, Shanahan was 2016 because he was still at the Falcons, right? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, yeah, it wasn't Chip Kelly.

Speaker 5 It was Shanahan, but he didn't have anybody.

Speaker 5 It was Shanahan.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. Okay.
So, yeah, Shanahan won. I mean, he should have won Coach of the Year that year.

Speaker 5 I think Anthony Lynn runs away with it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And you can't.
But Cliff Kingsbury's. Listen,

Speaker 3 the Cardinals now have lost four out of five, and the only win was Kyler Murray's Hail Mary against the Bills. Like, this is, they have, in my personal estimation, they've lost five straight.
Okay.

Speaker 3 I'm going to throw it out there.

Speaker 5 Alex, then under my personal estimation, John Gruden lost.

Speaker 3 Adam Gates beat him. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah. I'm counting that.
Yeah. Greg Williams.
Now switched the Can't Luz parlay back.

Speaker 5 Greg Williams won this weekend. Yes.

Speaker 3 But yeah.

Speaker 3 The Cardinals are bad.

Speaker 3 Speaking of good coaches, the Rams are now 32-0 when leading in a halftime under Sean McVay. The Rams.
That's a pretty good coach. That means you're a pretty good coach when you can hold on.

Speaker 3 Anyone can get a lead. Not anyone can hold on to a lead.

Speaker 5 I think the Rams are going to go for a run. I think the Rams.
The Rams are a very dangerous team right now.

Speaker 3 I've been saying it for a while.

Speaker 3 They are a matchup problem for pretty much every team in the NFC except the San Francisco 49ers. If the Rams can somehow avoid the San Francisco 49ers and Kyle Shanahan owning Sean McVay,

Speaker 3 They do cause a problem. Like, think about it.
With Aaron Donald, especially, I mean, I would say maybe the maybe the Packers because Rodgers can at least move, but Brees and Brady,

Speaker 3 a pass rush coming up the middle for Brees and Brady is a big, big problem.

Speaker 5 I actually kind of like the Rams against the Packers. I think that that's a team that might be able to be like, hey, Packers, you're soft.
We at least have a solid hard-heading defense.

Speaker 5 Plus, you have the whole LeFleur-McVay connection. So McVay is like his master and probably has mental control over his powers.
So I like that.

Speaker 5 If you look at the Rams schedule, really the only team besides the Niners that they've been mismatched against is the Dolphins. That one trip.

Speaker 3 Yeah. When they played the Dolphins.
When they outplayed him, by the way. They lost the Dinsman.
They completely outplayed him. They did.

Speaker 5 It was just, it was fluky shots.

Speaker 3 That was the flukey. Yeah, no, I've been on the Rams.

Speaker 5 That was when Tua lit them up for like

Speaker 3 completions. I bet the Rams, and I bet the Rams at half, too.

Speaker 5 So, yeah, going down the list here, they lost at the the Bills 35-32. I wouldn't consider that like

Speaker 3 that. Well, that was another game where they came back in the second half.
They were dead in the first half, and they came back, and they just absolutely torched the Bills.

Speaker 3 I've been on the Rams for like a month now. I think

Speaker 5 they're going to be a tough out. Using our qualifiers of eliminating Kyle Shanahan, the Rams might be, they might be like a top three team in the NFC.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
And you know how we used to do Josh Rosen's stat lines? We should start doing Jared Goff stat lines because every single week week he's like 35 for 45. Dude, he's been

Speaker 3 a fucking ball. He throws it so much, and it's awesome.
And Cooper Cup, now you want to talk about

Speaker 3 here's a hot take. Here's a hot take.
Team has Aaron Donald, Jalen Ramsey on it. Most important player, Cooper Cup.
I like it. Yeah.
I'm with you.

Speaker 3 I mean, I do look totally different when he's out there.

Speaker 3 Last year, their offense kind of went to shit.

Speaker 5 I like to just always toss out the fact that it's their tight end that makes the offense go. What, Higby?

Speaker 3 No. Robert Woods? Robert Woods, yes, yeah.

Speaker 5 No, no, no, he's a receiver.

Speaker 3 But yeah, Cooper Cup, most important player on the Rams. There it is.
I said it. Shout out, by the way.

Speaker 3 I just love that the Cardinals got out to a 7-0 lead on a 59-yard touchdown to a guy named Dan Arnold. Yeah.
From Milwaukee. Yeah.
A white dude named Dan Arnold. I saw that pop up.

Speaker 5 That was like one of the push notifications that I got on my phone. I was like, there's no way that that's real.

Speaker 3 Bro,

Speaker 3 you were supposed to be like

Speaker 3 a sheet metal guy, not a fucking wide receiver. Your name's Dan Arnold.
I just just loved it.

Speaker 3 I just giggled to myself.

Speaker 3 There can't be a lot of Dan Arnolds out there.

Speaker 5 I'm looking at their schedule here.

Speaker 5 They have to play at the Patriots. And then

Speaker 5 they get to play the NFC West again, basically.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, no, the Rams are a very good football team.
It's just,

Speaker 3 it's essentially Kyle Shanahan just owns them because it makes them look foolish. But they, and I don't know, is Whitworth definitely out for the year? I think so.

Speaker 5 I'm pretty sure. It looked like he was, just based on the way that he went off the field.

Speaker 3 Because they are one of those teams, and this is not rocket science, but they're such an offensive line team where if

Speaker 3 they're offensive, kind of like the 49ers, where when everything's working, it looks like ballet out there because they're doing play action and golf is moving in the pocket.

Speaker 3 And then when it's not, it just all falls apart and looks like shit.

Speaker 5 Larry Fitzgield did not have a reception today. Oh, wow.
I feel like that's breaking some sort of streak. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right. So, yeah, the Cardinals, I put a fork in the Cardinals.
They're done. They're done.
Because, you know why? They have to go play

Speaker 3 the goodish team in the history of good teams. Are you guys ready to apologize to me? The Giants are a good team.

Speaker 5 I think the Giants are good.

Speaker 5 Yes, they're a good team.

Speaker 3 There you go. It was tough.
There you go. They're a good team.

Speaker 5 Now, I will say, they only put up 17 points against the worst past defense in the history of the NFL.

Speaker 3 Colt McCoy.

Speaker 5 With Colt McCoy. Colt McCoy.
And you know what? You know why they're so good, Big Cat, is because they have great players like Colt McCoy, Graham Gannow, and Alfred Morse. Yes.

Speaker 3 All former players in football teams.

Speaker 5 No, that's just, it's a coincidence, but they've got. Yes, the Giants are a good team.
Their defense is a good defense.

Speaker 3 They're a good team.

Speaker 3 I'm happy you finally, like, I got heckled in this room for saying they were a good team three weeks ago. I got heckled.
They were. No,

Speaker 5 I said at the time they were good adjacent.

Speaker 3 No, you guys heckled me.

Speaker 5 I said they're good adjacent.

Speaker 3 Thankfully, so.

Speaker 3 You heckled me. They've won four straight, and they're a good team.

Speaker 5 Here's the highest compliment I can pay to a team, and I'll pay it to the Giants.

Speaker 3 They are gritty. Tyree Kill just did his flip into the end zone again.
That's so cocky.

Speaker 3 I hope this comes back. This would be so funny if it came back after all that.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, they're a good team. No,

Speaker 5 you're underselling them. I just paid them the biggest compliment that I could.

Speaker 3 They're gritty. Yeah, no, they're not.

Speaker 5 They are gritty fucking football.

Speaker 3 big time gritty so they

Speaker 3 this Cole McCoy

Speaker 3 serviceable whatever their defense won the game if Daniel Jones played in this game the Giants probably win it by like a couple scores because they didn't have anything out of their passing game they had 100 yards passing I they this is a good football team they are a good football team they held the Seahawks who scored 31 points a game to 12 points I could also put this spin zone on them and that's that they face a gauntlet in the division so they're battle-tested.

Speaker 5 That's what the Giants are doing.

Speaker 3 That's iron sharpens iron.

Speaker 5 Iron sharpens iron. They're 3-0 against Washington football teams this year now.

Speaker 3 Did they call it back? Yeah, they called it back after Tyre Kill did that whole thing.

Speaker 3 Sweet flip, dude.

Speaker 5 That's embarrassing. Sweet flip for nothing.
That's why I never flip anymore.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 3 What are you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 5 I like Colt McCoy as a starter more than Daniel Jones for the Giants. Me too.

Speaker 3 A lot of people are saying. Volatile.

Speaker 5 Yeah. A lot of people are saying they should bench Daniel Jones for the rest of the year.

Speaker 3 I agree with that.

Speaker 5 I mean, slow and steady.

Speaker 3 He hasn't been throwing picks, though. But yeah,

Speaker 3 the Giants, like this PFT, this is tough for the Washington football team because the Giants,

Speaker 3 this was going to be a loss.

Speaker 3 Now they have the Browns, sorry, the Cardinals who are absolutely reeling, the Browns, the Ravens, and the Cowboys. The Giants can absolutely finish 2-2 here.

Speaker 3 And if the Giants finish 2-2, that means the Washington football team has to finish 4-1.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I hate this win for the fact that also it dashes my hopes of having a 6-10 division winner. Yeah.
Because I don't think that's not realistic.

Speaker 3 I think they're going to get two wins. I think they're going to beat

Speaker 3 one of the Cardinals and Browns and then the Cowboys.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they could lose all those games. It's a possibility.
Yeah. But it's unlikely.

Speaker 3 And don't do that.

Speaker 3 It's unlikely. It's not what you say about a good football team.

Speaker 5 It's unlikely. A story came out this week.
I don't know if you saw this. This was a fun little nugget that was put out by the New York Post.

Speaker 5 Wayne Gallman said that one time Eli Manning farted in my face.

Speaker 3 Oh, I think I've heard that story before.

Speaker 3 Eli is like a big fart. Not from Wayne Gallman, but I think he's a big like fart joker.

Speaker 5 Fart in my face. He's like the Greg Maddox, the unassuming butt humor guy.

Speaker 3 But I think that's all he has.

Speaker 5 Well, Eli learned it from his brother Peyton.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was going to say that's good that it was only a fart.

Speaker 3 Not his balls across your face.

Speaker 5 Odell gets insanely jealous. It's probably why I asked for a trade.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 3 The Seahawks.

Speaker 3 What the fuck? You can't lose this game if you're the Seahawks.

Speaker 5 I mean, this is...

Speaker 5 it was a classic Seahawks game, too, because they were winning 5-0 in the first half.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and they're playing Colt McCoy. Like, I know that, I know the Giants are a good football team, but guess what?

Speaker 3 You're at home, and you have Russell Wilson, who remember when Russell Wilson was, remember when Kyler Murray was the MVP for a couple weeks there?

Speaker 3 That's 10 years ago.

Speaker 5 I don't think Russell Wilson's going to get an MVP vote.

Speaker 3 He shouldn't. No, he shouldn't.
And he's still obviously like, what, I don't know, third best quarterback.

Speaker 3 Whatever you want to do ranking-wise, he's up there still.

Speaker 3 But yeah, if he doesn't get an MVP vote, I don't want to hear the stories next year that he's never gotten an MVP vote when you have Patrick Mahomes in the league.

Speaker 5 You know what's funny is this is a week where Pete Carroll should have reverted to old Pete Carroll and been like, We're going to establish the fucking run.

Speaker 5 We have to just eat up the clock, hand the ball to Chris Carson. I think he was averaging, yeah, he was averaging five yards a carry, only got the ball 13 times.
He swung.

Speaker 5 Pete Carroll has swung the pendulum too far in the Russ Cook department. Yep.
It needs to come back. Russell Wilson threw the ball 43 times, 263 yards.
Yeah. Not a bad game, but balanced offense.

Speaker 3 Actually, no matter what.

Speaker 5 Not a good game.

Speaker 3 Not a good game for Russell Wilson. No, he wasn't good.

Speaker 5 You have Chris Carson back. Chris Carson is a top five running back in the NFL.
You should hand him the fucking football.

Speaker 3 The Giants' defensive plan was very, very good, though. They had pressure all day.

Speaker 3 They fucked Russ up. And, I mean,

Speaker 3 they're a good defense. But I just, you're the Seahawks.
And, like, I don't know what to make of them.

Speaker 3 I think the Seahawks are destined for the most entertaining playoff game of the year in a loss.

Speaker 3 Like, we're going to watch the Seahawks playoff game. It's going to be awesome.
It's going to be instant classic, and they're going to lose. And we're going to be like, okay, well, you know what?

Speaker 3 At least we remembered them.

Speaker 5 Well, what could happen is they could have to travel to play the Giants again

Speaker 5 when they get Daniel Jones back, and then we'll really get to find out who should be starting for that team. Oh, boy.
Or they would play the football team on the road.

Speaker 5 And I think the Seahawks are the team that has eliminated the football team. I want to say the last three times from the playoffs.
Ooh,

Speaker 3 you know what might end up happening in the NFC? The New York Football Giants hosting Kirk Cousins and the Vikings.

Speaker 3 And that will be, I will put my life on the New York Football Giants because that is gritty, tough football team out in the weather versus Kirk Cousins looking short in his purple uniform.

Speaker 5 So if that game happens.

Speaker 3 Purple helmet, he won't have a full purple uniform.

Speaker 5 I actually think that Mike Zimmer would rather coach the New York Giants than the Minnesota Vikings.

Speaker 3 He'll meet Joe Judge in the middle and be like, how about a little white swap?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you want to switch it around?

Speaker 3 You want to go swinging? Actually, if I were Mike Zimmer, he seems looking pretty gritty.

Speaker 5 If I were Mike Zimmer,

Speaker 5 I would not give up what I've got going right now for a swinging situation. No.
Have you seen that? Yes. That will make your jaw drop.
Yes. Mike Zimmer's girlfriend? Yes.

Speaker 3 Mike Zimmer's doing well.

Speaker 5 Congratulations. Not a football guy move.
But that's okay. But still, wow.

Speaker 3 Maybe that's New Age for you.

Speaker 5 I guess his eyes are working okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's new age for one of them. One of them.
He's got one, yeah.

Speaker 5 She just always thought he was winking at her.

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Speaker 3 All right. Eagles, Packers.

Speaker 3 Let's start with the biggest story. Carson Wentz benched for Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 3 You had a theory.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I think Carson Wentz has sensory overload.
I think that he's got issues with noise,

Speaker 5 with just with like quick motions in front of him.

Speaker 3 Decision making?

Speaker 5 Yeah. No, it's a lot of stuff.
So I looked up symptoms for sensory overload. I think, tell me this doesn't sound like Carson Wentz.
Okay.

Speaker 5 The inability to converse or connect with others, running away from specific places or situations,

Speaker 5 placing your hands over your ears frequently,

Speaker 5 crying or looking like you're about to cry. There was no sadder sight, by the way, when Carson Wentz tried to dress up like Cam Newton, but was just very sad.
His whole body was crying at that point.

Speaker 5 And then avoiding specific places or avoiding specific situations like a defensive line or an end zone. Spinning the wrong way.
Spinning the wrong way.

Speaker 5 The symptoms are anxiety, irritability, and restlessness.

Speaker 5 I think Carson's scared of loud noises. He probably sucks at hunting now.

Speaker 5 He probably can't be around a gun.

Speaker 3 Do you know what they need is they need to get him a weighted jacket. Yeah, a weighted jacket.
A big weighted jacket. Yeah.
Instead of a weighted blanket.

Speaker 5 A flak jacket that goes on under the pads.

Speaker 3 Keep him feeling secure.

Speaker 5 I think that's a great idea.

Speaker 3 Put it around your dog.

Speaker 5 Get him some Xanax or get him something because watching him gives me anxiety. Yes.
Because he looks so scared out there. But Hertz got in.
He looked good.

Speaker 3 Is it official, you think? I mean, here's the craziest part.

Speaker 3 Everyone talks about, you know, like, oh, you got to move on from Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz's four-year $128 million contract.

Speaker 3 It hasn't kicked in yet. How much is it? It hasn't paid right now.
It hasn't. kicked in yet.
Like, we keep talking about Carson Wentz and how he signed. The deal hasn't kicked in yet.

Speaker 3 So they gave him that deal. It hasn't started.

Speaker 5 But when they gave him the deal, I think they knew that they had to give it to him. Yeah.
Peterson was like, we need to show confidence in him.

Speaker 5 We need to give him a grand gesture so that he'll feel comfortable and get back to playing like his old MD3 caliber.

Speaker 5 So it's like getting somebody pregnant to try to save a marriage or to like try to get engaged to somebody, be like, hey, yeah, I'm carrying your baby. Right.

Speaker 5 You step up the relationship in hopes that they'll step their game up too. In this case, the exact opposite happened.

Speaker 3 Well, and

Speaker 3 there was a report that Carson Wentz is part of the reason why he's playing poorly is because Jalen Hurts is over his shoulder.

Speaker 3 So that means Carson Wentz can just never have an adequate backup? Yeah. Like, that's just what we're saying here.

Speaker 3 So if the guy who constantly dives headfirst into things and gets injured, can't have a safety blanket behind him to maybe help the franchise.

Speaker 3 I know they can trade him, which they'd still have to eat a lot of the contract, but it's just crazy. Like, there's, they haven't kicked in yet.

Speaker 3 I think there's an out in 2022, so it's basically like kind of you know, all contracts in the NFL are kind of bogus when they say, like, oh, it's a four-year contract.

Speaker 3 Well, you can move on after two years. I think it's two years, but it's crazy to think,

Speaker 3 what is he making this year, Jake? What is he making this year, and what is he going to make next year? I think it's significant.

Speaker 3 And you should say part of part of it's on the Eagles because they haven't gotten decent weapons around him, but a lot of it's Carson Warren.

Speaker 5 They've almost been doing the exact opposite, right? And like trying really hard not to give him any weapons. You can, yeah, Jake?

Speaker 7 2020, 1,383,000, 2021, 15.4.

Speaker 3 It hasn't kicked in yet. Maybe that's

Speaker 5 from Carson Wentz is poor.

Speaker 5 He can't afford a weighted blanket, or you know what they should do? They should pump in white noise into his quarterback headset.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 7 2021, 15,4, 2022, 22 million, 2023, 20 million, 2024, 21 million.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think they can get out of 2022, but it is,

Speaker 3 they can't just like cut him. I think that's like a dead cap of $60 million.

Speaker 5 They could find somebody to trade for him, though. NFL teams are so desperate.

Speaker 3 I'll take him on the grid.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he will be a bear.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'll take him on the ground.

Speaker 3 No, no, he's going to be a Colt. We already said this.

Speaker 3 Our friend Roan said this.

Speaker 3 Phil Rivers is not obviously going to be there for more than maybe a year or more, but I wouldn't even, I don't know if you would even do that if you're the Colts.

Speaker 3 And he'll get reunited with Frank Wright and behind a good offensive line. They got a couple nice little young weapons.
So he will be a cult. And guess what?

Speaker 3 Unfortunately for Philly fans, he's going to be good. He will be good again.
He's playing a dome. He'll have the sensory overload.
We'll be a little bit, you know, quieted.

Speaker 5 I could see him going to the Bears, though. I think that the Bears might make a move for him.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 5 Big Cat. No.
Big Cat. You guys paid, what, $15 million to Mike Lennon? No.

Speaker 3 And, like, $20 million to Nick Foles.

Speaker 5 It does suck, though, for Carson Wentz that you've been a starting quarterback in the NFL for like four years and you're still poor.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well,

Speaker 3 no, because he was a first-round draft pick. Yeah, but he's made like $20 million.
Yeah, but he's a broke boy.

Speaker 5 He's making $1 million. What did he make the first year?

Speaker 3 No, no, that's how it goes, though. It's like the first year is a shitload of money.
Yeah. And then it's less.
Like, he probably made $20 million his first year.

Speaker 3 Spent that all on medical bonus and everything. Yeah.
And shingling his house with dead ducks.

Speaker 3 He hasn't been good since then.

Speaker 5 He hasn't. He probably, he got spooked from all the loud noises on that one hunting trip.
He saw all those dead animals, and now he's got PTSD.

Speaker 7 In 2019, his salary was $720,000, but his signing bonus was $16,000, $367. So he's good.
In 2016, the signing bonus was 17.6.

Speaker 3 Yes, that's the first round. Yeah, you always get a shitload of money.

Speaker 5 After taxes, that's only like $10 million.

Speaker 3 After taxes guy is, all right. So, yeah,

Speaker 3 I think you just go with Jalen Hurts now. Now, Doug Peterson did do...
Doug Peterson, by the way, he's on the hot seat. The report is out there.

Speaker 3 And he did the old, well, we needed a spark, which is essentially saying, I'm not going to do it yet.

Speaker 3 I don't want to officially say it. We needed a spark.
Guess what? Jalen Hurts gave you a spark. Punt return helped a lot, but...
He at least gave you a spark.

Speaker 3 Billy was yelling that Jalen Hurts basically gets credit for that punt return. I actually agree with Billy.

Speaker 5 The energy change?

Speaker 3 Yeah, the energy changes.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I did notice the defense was running a little bit fast. They were buzzing.
Yeah, the boys were buzzing out there.

Speaker 5 Doug Peterson is this guy that would be on the open market for probably less than a day if he were to no longer be a business.

Speaker 3 I would think so. Winning a Super Bowl makes it pretty hard to not.
I mean, Adam Gates got hired again.

Speaker 5 That's true. Yeah.
He didn't do anything. Literally.
Doug Peterson to the Jets.

Speaker 3 Ooh.

Speaker 5 Doug Peterson to the Jets. Doug Peterson, Trevor Lawrence.
It's not Justin Fields.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you want Justin Fields. All right.

Speaker 3 Aaron Rodgers should mention it.

Speaker 3 400 club. So he's the seventh quarterback all time to reach 400 touchdown passes.
Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Dan Marino, Bubby Brister. Those are in the 400 club.

Speaker 5 Also, I didn't know this.

Speaker 3 I was just joking about the last one. I passed that by you.
Yeah, you did. Bubby Brister? Yeah.
No, Phil Rivers is the sixth. And then Aaron Rodgers.
Just going to throw this out there, guys.

Speaker 3 Just going to throw this out there. Ben Rothsberger will get 400.
He's 12 away. Matt Ryan will get 400.
He's

Speaker 3 60 away. Matt Stafford, if he plays five more years or four more years actually, and has 30 touchdowns a year, which isn't crazy, he will get there.

Speaker 3 And on top of that, just going to throw this out there, everyone who has 300 touchdowns or more is in the Hall of Fame. Oh, shit.
So Tom Brady, obviously, going to go. Drew Brees going to go.

Speaker 3 Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Dan Marino, Phil River is going to go. Rodgers, Rothesburg are going to go.
Eli is going to go. Fran Tarkinson's in.
Matt Ryan, who knows? John Elway has 300 on the dot.

Speaker 3 Please. Everyone who has 300 or more.
So when everyone says that I'm crazy for the Matt Stafford take, well, I probably am, and you have to adjust it. He will,

Speaker 3 my argument has always been that numbers will be Hall of Fame worthy because everyone who has over 300 touchdown passes is in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 5 I hope that they put the Bolo tie on Philip Rivers bust. Yeah, that would be so awesome.
That'd be great. So here's a fun little set about the Packers.
I didn't expect this.

Speaker 5 I knew that they were going for it more often on fourth down.

Speaker 5 They're far and away the team that is the most likely to to go for it so the look at matt lafleur the new york times has a go-for-it bot which by the way is there anything that'll make a coach punt faster than telling them like the new york times says that you should go for it here no judge hey the new yorkers yeah no new yorker no i know new yorker tells you when you can jack off at your computer when there's not a webcam at you the new york times go for it bot they came down with like some weird formula for it but the packers are the biggest outlier by far so they're going for it all the fucking time on fourth down which is that's pretty cool like it getting aaron Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 5 And it makes sense. Like if you have Aaron Rodgers as your quarterback, you should be going for it way more often than almost any other quarterback in the league.

Speaker 3 I'm surprised that the Ravens, I guess because the Ravens have struggled this year, but they were, it felt like...

Speaker 3 anecdotally speaking like last year they would go for it all the time that was the story about the about the ravens last year was like well that was just lamar jackson telling harbaugh like hey we're gonna go for it okay good so look at you matt lafleur yeah getting freaky i just imagine that like some guy some packer fan in sheboygan is just disgusted with how often they're going for it.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 The New York Times, the New York Times has a needle, like, on election night, of when you should go for it. 80% you should go for it here.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Um, all right. By the way, yeah, how about the nerd that they got from the election season in his khaki pants, giving us that's NBC, you've lost me there.
I'm sorry, but I don't need that.

Speaker 5 The guy's harmless, he's the harmless

Speaker 7 mentions that

Speaker 3 comparison. What's his name?

Speaker 7 Steve Kornacki, I believe.

Speaker 3 Steve Kornacki? Yeah, I don't know. I'd rather have like a fat dude with a mustard stain who's like, wait, hold on.
Let me check real quick. The Giants, how many games have they played?

Speaker 3 And just constantly fumbling?

Speaker 5 So Cornaki is almost too competent. That's what his issue is.
Also,

Speaker 5 he looks too much like a nerd to pull off that color of khakis. Yes.
Because from the waist down, he's Carhartt. And from the belt up, he's Brooks Brothers.
Right.

Speaker 3 And the problem with Cornaki is I want a relatable playoff hunt guy, which is every single NFL fan out there, I'm including myself in there, where I could,

Speaker 3 we're doing the show right now, and I have a grasp of it. Tomorrow morning, I will have to re-look it up and be like, wait, who's on what, wait, how many games they have they had their buy yet?

Speaker 3 That is the most relatable.

Speaker 3 Like constantly, this time of season, I'm constantly having to relearn who's in the playoffs, who's not, who has who left, who has a buy, who do they playing, like all that shit.

Speaker 3 I basically relearn it every day.

Speaker 5 I need Kevin James James buzzed off two domestic beers to be like standing in front of a green screen trying to figure this out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, or I'm groundhogs. I'm Bill Murray.
Every day I wake up and I try to relearn who's in the hunt in the park.

Speaker 5 He's harmless, so I don't have an issue with him, but it doesn't make sense to me as a football fan because the only playoff picture I really understand is what I have in front of me on the ESPN playoff machine at any given time.

Speaker 5 And right now, this is my playoff picture where I just have like the Giants losing every single game from here on out and the football team winning every single one.

Speaker 5 So I don't trust a guy who goes exactly by the numbers. You have to have some sort of homer bias in your head.

Speaker 3 See, I'm old school. I like to just pull up the standings and just take a look at them and just try to decipher from them.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just kind of just then go back up and down looking like, okay, six and six. Wait, is anyone else six and six? Then you always miss a team.

Speaker 3 All right. Last game, Patriots, Chargers, Hank,

Speaker 3 500. Thursday night.
If you win Thursday night against the Rams, you're all the way back in, right? Yeah.

Speaker 8 All the way back in. I mean, winning out's a possibility.

Speaker 3 This was.

Speaker 8 Probability, I would say.

Speaker 3 I don't want to say, listen, I'm a terrible gambler. Everyone knows that.
Don't follow my picks. 1-800 gambler if you need help.

Speaker 3 We did say, though, on Friday, Bill Belichick versus Anthony Lynn. We said that.

Speaker 3 We said that, so let's just at least take credit for the fact that we told you, Bill Belichick versus Anthony Lynn, never in your entire life should you take anyone but Bill Belichick.

Speaker 5 This was a no-brainer.

Speaker 3 It was an ass.

Speaker 5 And it's exactly what the Chargers needed at this point because you can't, there's no way now that you can justify bringing

Speaker 3 right.

Speaker 5 He should be fired during mid-game. He should be fired.
After the second. The Chargers' special teams, by the way, historically have been awful.

Speaker 3 Three phases.

Speaker 5 This was a noteworthily awful.

Speaker 3 Oh, they got Gunnard.

Speaker 5 They got Gunnard big time. Gunner old.

Speaker 5 This was a game where we were like, okay, Belichick's going to have, he's going to have some facet of the game just committed to memory.

Speaker 5 Him and Ernie Adams are going to lock themselves in a room all week and figure out a way to unconventionally score some touchdowns. They got Gunner.
They got the working man's Wes Welker back there

Speaker 5 returning punts against you. You got Gunner big time.
Anthony Lynn, I don't know.

Speaker 5 Is it harder to break up with a head coach if he moves across the country with you? Yeah. Across the country, I mean, from San Diego to Los Angeles.

Speaker 5 I mean, that's a 405. It's basically across the country.

Speaker 3 No, you don't take the 405. You take the ones.

Speaker 5 Pacific Coast Island. You only take the ones.

Speaker 3 PCH? Yeah. Not during Russia.
You do not take the 405. Not the 405.

Speaker 5 But yeah, Jesus, Anthony Lynn, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but sure you just have a bolder inside although i think i've been saying all your friends hate you but that was out of anger but

Speaker 5 i'm not even i'm not mad at you this week anthony lynn because i took the patriots so i'm cool that happens to a lot of nice guys yeah a lot of nice guys friends all hate actually if you're if you're still in a relationship with anthony lynn where you can still be his friend i would argue that you're not a true a true enough friend yeah because you probably should have been meaner to him over the course of the last year telling him to re-evaluate some shit yeah if you're still in his inner circle and haven't done enough to get yourself kicked out, you're part of the problem.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
So, yeah, this is an ass kicking. Patriots have their swagger back.
They stay out west, play on Thursday night against the Rams, which is now like this is the season.

Speaker 8 Yeah, the only thing I'll say is like, I kept saying to myself during the game, I can't believe they lost the Texans.

Speaker 8 So as refreshing as it was, I could see them coming out and also throwing a stinker. Like, it's either going to be a, you know, 20-point victory or just an absolute clunker.

Speaker 5 Do you think that Belichick has Sean McVay in his grasp? Do you think McVay is just going to be replaying every single down from the Super Bowl?

Speaker 8 I think McVay and Goff obviously are going to look at it differently than Bill Belichick's going to go through a normal game plan.

Speaker 8 McVay and Goff probably have more of a like we need revenge, you know, that type of deal.

Speaker 3 It's a good, it's, it's giving, it's a good Thursday night football game. I'm excited to watch that Thursday night football.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 seven?

Speaker 8 Yeah, which apparently, you know, Pittsburgh Steelers fans are mad. That's something they've been saying.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, they've been saying for a long time. Yeah.
What were you saying?

Speaker 7 21%, according to Cornaki.

Speaker 3 Yep. Nope.
We don't do that.

Speaker 3 We're not Cornaki House.

Speaker 3 Hold on.

Speaker 8 I'll show you.

Speaker 5 528 has to be a little bit more than 100.

Speaker 3 I'll

Speaker 3 stop at 2%. Let me look at the standards.

Speaker 3 Let me show you my process. All right.
We got the Bills one, Steelers, Titans, Chiefs, and then you got the Colts, Browns. They're like 10th.
And then you got to beat the Dolphins and the Raiders.

Speaker 3 Did you beat the Raiders? You beat the Raiders. You beat the Dolphins.

Speaker 3 I'd say a 50-50 chance. Okay.
There you go. I just did it in my head.
So you have to finish.

Speaker 5 You have to finish 10-6. Yep.

Speaker 3 That's a 50-50 chance.

Speaker 5 Just put it that way.

Speaker 3 50-50 chance.

Speaker 5 Okay, you have to go on a run. You know what?

Speaker 5 What did Aaron Rodgers say? He invented the phrase, you got to run the table.

Speaker 3 It sounded relaxed.

Speaker 5 You need to take over that saying, that phrase. That's the new saying for the New England Patriots right now.
Yes. Run the table.
Slash.

Speaker 8 Get a game canceled, but I don't think that's going to happen.

Speaker 3 Yes. All right.
That is.

Speaker 5 Did you see Ernie Adams? Ernie Adams has a football life type documentary coming out.

Speaker 3 He does. It came out.

Speaker 5 Oh, it did?

Speaker 8 Yeah, it was like 10 minutes today.

Speaker 3 I'm kidding.

Speaker 5 I'm convinced that anything in that documentary is going to be made up by Ernie Ernie Adams to try to make other teams think that this is how the Patriots do it.

Speaker 5 So they'll try to copy his fake advice. That's how deep inside my head is.

Speaker 3 Ernie Adams is.

Speaker 5 And I have no reason to really have a grudge against the guy.

Speaker 8 That's fair. I mean, it's one of those seasons where they need to pull out all the stops.
Like, it's not going to be a regular domination type season.

Speaker 8 So if they can get an advantage in any place, even if it's like what you're saying, I kind of agree with you.

Speaker 5 This is the break glass in case of emergency. We're releasing the Ernie Adams footage.

Speaker 5 This is what we spent last year taping the Browns-Bengals sideline for to get some really juicy info for next season.

Speaker 3 Yes, here comes Ernie Adams, gonna get everyone in everyone's head. That is the ultimate chess move.
It's Bill Belchuk's best coaching job. All right, let's do Football Guy of the Week.

Speaker 3 We'll talk a little college football, baby Braun, and who's back. Football Guy of the Week presents.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 3 Okay, Jake, football guy of the week.

Speaker 7 All right, we'll start things off with Raiders fullback Alec Ingold, who told reporters that his ribs are still broken and that he is trying to push them together, but they are not cooperating.

Speaker 3 We're a big rib podcast. Yo, big rib podcast.
Love ribs. Love ribs.
Nick ribs. Yep, coming up in a second.

Speaker 7 Colts head coach Frank Reich, who gave his granddaughter a lesson on the proper technique on how to have maximum ball security.

Speaker 3 There was a little video.

Speaker 7 Ironically enough, how did the Colts win today? Ball security.

Speaker 3 Ball security. Job security.

Speaker 5 Was that his granddaughter or was that his daughter?

Speaker 3 I originally had a daughter. I double-checked.
It is his granddaughter. I do like those moments where it's like, hey, you want to teach this kid how to read? No.

Speaker 3 Teach this kid how to fucking hold on to a football.

Speaker 3 That's all they'll need in life.

Speaker 5 She had pretty decent, like three points of contact on that football when she was running around the house.

Speaker 7 Kentucky Center Drake Jackson, Matt Jones tweeted this out after Saturday's senior day win versus South Carolina. He said, I'm going to bed tonight with all my tape and my jersey on.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 I believe him. Yeah.
100% he did that. Yeah.
I like that. The senior who doesn't take off his football jersey forever.
I like that.

Speaker 5 Also, shout out to Matt Jones. He sold Kentucky Sports Radio.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's staying on, but he's quite literally a sellout.

Speaker 5 I think he is the richest person in Kentucky.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Mitch McConnell. I was going to say, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, that's close.

Speaker 5 How much, what percentage of that do we get?

Speaker 3 I would say a lot.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would say.

Speaker 3 Somewhere between a lot and a shitload.

Speaker 3 You decide, Matt.

Speaker 7 And then we'll end things with Steelers offensive coordinator Randy Feetner, who compared his young wide receivers to a fart in a skillet because they were bouncing around everywhere.

Speaker 3 PFD tweeted this earlier this week. I did.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that is.

Speaker 5 I feel like he learned that from Mike Tomlin. Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's a quote directly from the big man.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and Mike Tomlins definitely farted in a skillet.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's how he cooks.

Speaker 5 That's how he lights his stove.

Speaker 7 I ran these by Billy.

Speaker 3 He approves of him. Nice.

Speaker 3 Good. You guys are working together.

Speaker 3 All right. So, football guy of the week, go vote for it.
Phillips Norocco, One Blade. Football Guy of the Week.
Thank you to Phillips Norocco, One Blade.

Speaker 3 All right, we're going to do some college football. Let's do Baby Braun of the Week first.

Speaker 3 Hank, who's your Baby Braun of the Week?

Speaker 8 LeBron again.

Speaker 3 Oh, shit.

Speaker 8 I mean, he talks about himself, Baby Braun of the Week. I do my research, and he just posts videos of himself.

Speaker 8 He posts, posts, I think someone was talking about his first game as a rookie and how it's like, you know, you're going to watch out for this guy going forward.

Speaker 8 And he does like, you know, strive, young king, you can do this, blah, blah, blah. So second week in a row, Baby Brown of the Week is LeBron.

Speaker 5 Yeah, didn't he tweet out something like respect to Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan from his past self, knowing who he was going to emulate and then eventually surpass?

Speaker 8 Pretty much like 75% of his tweets are

Speaker 8 to himself from his former self.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Or vice versa.

Speaker 5 I feel like he's just tripping on acid all the time and just thinking about time in a non-linear fashion. So he honestly thinks that he's talking to himself.
Yeah, he just hops around.

Speaker 5 Like he can honestly have a conversation with 12-year-old LeBron James anytime he wants.

Speaker 3 He's interstellar. He's just talking to himself in a bookcase.

Speaker 5 He's pushing The Godfather off the bookshelf.

Speaker 3 What is that, LeBron?

Speaker 5 It's just one thing.

Speaker 3 You think that you're going to strive for greatness? Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, say nothing

Speaker 3 if you're going to be the GOAT.

Speaker 5 He's pushing just a pamphlet, the first page of The Godfather over onto his former self.

Speaker 3 All right, PFT, your baby bronzer?

Speaker 5 My baby bronze of the week is Anthony Davis.

Speaker 3 Ooh!

Speaker 5 Because he agreed to a max contract with the L.A. Lakers.
Young King coming up in the world, you get rewarded for playing well with LeBron James. Yep.

Speaker 5 This is another, it's a case like, you know, Matthew Delavodova got $35 million, something like that, to play in Milwaukee after winning a title with LeBron.

Speaker 5 Now LeBron has given another scrappy, unheralded player like Anthony Davis a huge contract. Again, $190 million.
Max deal. It pays to be second fiddle to LeBron.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes. Billy, you have a baby run of the week.

Speaker 5 Kyle Kuzma.

Speaker 3 Ooh, sticking in basketball.

Speaker 5 LeBron tweeted: Kyle Kuzma is like the best player to take a giant leap this season.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Someone said, like, who's going to take a giant leap? And he quote-to-Kyle Kuzma.
All right, my baby run is Devontae Smith from Alabama. That game on Saturday night was insane.

Speaker 3 He had eight catches, 231 yards, and three touchdowns. I don't even know if he played the fourth quarter, but I guess we'll just do college football too.
Like, that game,

Speaker 3 every time Bama dropped back, it was just a touchdown. It was insane.
Yeah. And I,

Speaker 3 Nick Sabin,

Speaker 3 like, listen, we're Coach O guys. We love Coach O, but Nick Saban before the game was like, we need to remind them, like, that it's not easy to beat Alabama.

Speaker 3 Like, last year, a lot lot of those guys thought like they could come in and beat Alabama.

Speaker 3 We got to change that line of thinking. Like, that's how personally took it.

Speaker 5 I mean, 21 points in the first quarter, 24 in the second. So

Speaker 5 it was never close. So

Speaker 3 it also is like such a perfect example of how crazy

Speaker 3 football has changed in just the last decade. So in 2011, Alabama and LSU played twice.

Speaker 3 They played in the regular season and the national championship, the most boring national championship of all time.

Speaker 3 The first game was 9-6. The second game was 21-0.
So a total of 36 points. It took 17 and a half minutes to get 36 points on Saturday night.

Speaker 5 He's changed himself.

Speaker 3 That's crazy. That's insane to think about.

Speaker 3 If you said to yourself, LSU versus Alabama, I mean, even last year where it was back and forth, but LSU versus Alabama and the over-runner is going to be 67.

Speaker 3 If you said to yourself 10 years ago, come on.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you'd think that you were insane. And also,

Speaker 5 I'm putting this out here. Steve Sarkeesian, he's going to be the the guy who would probably go.
If I were him, I would get the fuck out of the country. No, I'd stay.
I would.

Speaker 5 No, I'm saying, like, if he's going to take a head coaching job somewhere.

Speaker 3 Oh, he is.

Speaker 5 I would guarantee you he's going to take a head coaching job. I know.

Speaker 3 At Alabama.

Speaker 5 Oh, you think he's going to be head coach and waiting?

Speaker 3 Nick Saban's old, man.

Speaker 5 I don't think Nick Sabin is down to play the head coach and waiting game. He looks at that.

Speaker 5 He will commit infanticide. He would be like an aging lion.
And if he can still kill that lion that's about to take his job in a little bit, he will.

Speaker 5 I think that Sarkeesian is going to leave this offseason, maybe next, but he's going to go somewhere for a head coaching job. And

Speaker 5 I don't think he'd be a good fit being the head coach at Alabama.

Speaker 3 I think he'd be a great fit because they would just keep the program running. Nick Saban has set everything up.

Speaker 3 I think that's actually what Nick Saban wants to do is hand the keys to someone because then it's just kind of still Nick Saban.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but when's the last time, I guess Ryan Day kind of worked out pretty well. Lincoln Riley.

Speaker 3 Lincoln Riley's working out. He's working out really well.

Speaker 5 He's coming back trying to take his job job back again.

Speaker 5 But yeah, usually it doesn't work. Yeah,

Speaker 5 at Ohio State, it definitely did work out, but usually like the protege aspect doesn't pan out in the long term.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's,

Speaker 3 I don't know. I just think that that would be, I mean, Sark has had a checkered past.

Speaker 5 Yeah. This would be, if I were him, that's what I'd want to do.

Speaker 3 I'd stay there for as long as Saban wanted to coach and then take it over because you'll never get a job like that.

Speaker 5 I feel like that's one of those, I'm going to go here and rehabilitate myself.

Speaker 3 But he's been there for a little bit. I don't know.
I think

Speaker 3 Steven's getting a little bit more.

Speaker 5 If I'm sorry, I would not go somewhere else in the SEC.

Speaker 3 So shout out to the Chanticleers. Need to shout out the Chanticlears.
Maybe the game of the year on the surf turf. Coastal Carolina beating BYU.

Speaker 5 It's a very pleasing shade of green. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Hand up, you know, ignorant college football fan, I don't understand the context of why it was such a big game.

Speaker 3 Because they were both 9-0, and they both don't, like, they basically made the game Tuesday,

Speaker 3 which is the coolest thing. Like, this is how.

Speaker 5 It was an anytime, anywhere game.

Speaker 3 Right, and we should actually, they should start making these in college football. College football is so much better off if everyone had, like, fuck doing this, hey, Georgia's playing USC in 2038.

Speaker 3 Just have us, have, have a gate, have a, a week open every year, maybe two weeks out. You're like, hey, you want to call up your friend?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's a 24-7 challenge.

Speaker 3 Yeah, call up your friend. Let's fucking do it.

Speaker 5 And it should be, and Texas should have to to play A ⁇ M every year in that game.

Speaker 3 Yes. But that was an awesome game.
The Chanticleers were, I love just any team where people are wearing fake mullets in the standard.

Speaker 5 Dude, mullets versus Mormons.

Speaker 3 Yep, mullets versus Mormons.

Speaker 5 I think I counted three players that had mullets.

Speaker 5 I think three starters that had mullets on season.

Speaker 3 Oh, they're awesome. A lot more.

Speaker 3 And the surf turf is awesome. And shout out all the people that were appalled that the Coastal Carolina blocked Zach Wilson hard on an interception.
That was the biggest joke.

Speaker 5 So that's one of those things where I was refreshing Twitter and clicking on replies to all these tweets, trying to figure out why somebody had a problem with it.

Speaker 3 There was like one guy who was.

Speaker 5 I couldn't figure out what the problem was.

Speaker 3 On a return, you block a guy, right? You find the quarterback.

Speaker 5 You block somebody, and yeah, he got his ass kicked on that return.

Speaker 3 It's also football.

Speaker 5 He also could have stayed down. Yes.

Speaker 3 It's football.

Speaker 5 You can run away from the blocker or lay down.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 5 Or after you get blocked the first time, don't stand up and get your ass kicked by two guys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Philip Rivers would lay down.

Speaker 5 Philip Rivers would stay down.

Speaker 5 He would have sat down crisscross applesauce after someone that played.

Speaker 3 He stays the fuck down. But yeah,

Speaker 3 it was so funny because it's like,

Speaker 3 what sport do you guys think you're watching?

Speaker 5 Yeah, so now it's football. Now the Chanticleers, do they have a title claim?

Speaker 3 Well, so they have to win the fun belt first. They play,

Speaker 3 I think, Louisiana Lafayette still in the championship game. BYU, that kind of hurts their whole thing.

Speaker 5 Resume, do you think BYU can overcome this loss and still get into the college football playoffs?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't know. Here's what I would love is for

Speaker 3 the Chanticleers to play Cincinnati. Yes.
And then it's like, now you got the undefeateds going at each other again. Yeah.
So just keep round-robbing. This is...

Speaker 3 If you're a power five team, I get it. why you wouldn't do it because like you never want to go and play the small guy and lose.

Speaker 3 But if you're not in the power five, you should start doing this for scheduling.

Speaker 3 You should start having an open date where you can go play the best power five or non-power fives around the country because that's going to boost each other.

Speaker 3 Like if UCF had played the best non-power five, their undefeated season at the end of the year, that would have helped them.

Speaker 5 It would be great if there was a mid-season bull game. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, where it was like

Speaker 5 whoever was leading the Sunbelt against whoever was in first place in the Mac.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yes.
Would be great.

Speaker 7 Would be great. Coastal is at Troy Saturday, then the Fun Belt Championship.

Speaker 3 Against ULL, which, by the way, ULL

Speaker 3 App State

Speaker 3 Friday night, right? Yeah, the ULL snapper had five

Speaker 3 snaps.

Speaker 5 And they took the intentional safety

Speaker 3 over his

Speaker 5 snap under center.

Speaker 3 The craziest rapid intentional safety I've ever seen in my life. It made no sense.

Speaker 5 That's a coach that just loves coaching football. He just couldn't.

Speaker 5 He could have just been like,

Speaker 5 run half that distance back and then try to kick it.

Speaker 3 Right. Right.
Anyone kick. Right.
It was crazy.

Speaker 3 What else? Any other big college football? Oklahoma is doing the classic Oklahoma thing where they sucked at the beginning of the year. Everyone forgot about them and now everyone's like, look out.

Speaker 3 Oklahoma playing great football.

Speaker 5 I'm standing by the fact that Oklahoma sucked too bad early on to be considered by me.

Speaker 3 Yeah. To be for real.
But I think I might be a Spencer Rattler guy.

Speaker 5 Well, it's a great name. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We'll see how he does against Iowa State because he pissed me off last time against Iowa State when he was wearing those big earrings and throwing interceptions. Oh, also.

Speaker 3 That's my old man yells a cloud moment.

Speaker 5 Another big college football storyline: the return of coaches' wives shopping for houses in Austin, Texas came back this week. Yep.
So Urban Meyer's wife was reported to be shopping for houses.

Speaker 5 They do that. Austin is really great at that.

Speaker 5 They've got a bunch of realtors who are always, I think they use it as marketing opportunities to just like leak out the fact that either Nick Sabin, Miss Terry, is down here looking for houses in West Lake or Urban Meyer is.

Speaker 5 And they're also real big on having like fake announcements in the Austin airport. Being like, Nick Sabin, your bag is now at the luggage counter.

Speaker 5 If you'll please report to the luggage counter, Nick Saban. And then that becomes a story from somebody that tweets it out.
Texas is the king of that. I still think, I've kind of flipped on it.

Speaker 5 I think that Herman's going to stick around after this season.

Speaker 3 Well, they owe him a lot of money. They don't really

Speaker 5 get urban. That's never been a drawback for Texas.

Speaker 3 Well, they're making cuts and everything. We're in a pandemic.
A panny? Ever heard of it?

Speaker 3 It's really just, it's urban or bus for them because I don't. Kirk Herbstreet's actually,

Speaker 3 he hates Texas.

Speaker 3 and it's very funny because all he does is speak truth about how ridiculous the job is and how it's a no-win job so I maybe they'll wise up and it'll be urban or nothing else Ohio State kicked the shit out of Michigan State which they needed to do shout out Indiana Indiana is just a flat out better team than Wisconsin right now Tom Allen's like coach of the year that guy is he just gets in fights celebrating and and loves us he's a big-time like emotional hug like if one of his players gets hurt he will hug him for 25 minutes like that's the type of coach tom allen is uh bo nicks is gonna get like six or seven opportunities to be a starting quarterback in the nfl

Speaker 3 and he's gonna blow all of them no he's not he's so bad he's so bad he's so bad and then uh oh clemson is on official fuck you watch so be careful dabo's pissed they gator aid bathed him i guess to go to the acc championship game so that will be

Speaker 5 mad about that too yes yes in dabo's mind, he did not deserve a Gatorade bath for that.

Speaker 3 No. What were you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 5 No, getting back to Texas, the forum inside Texas is taking a picture of Urban Meyer in a random room, and they're trying to match it up with Austin Resorts.

Speaker 3 God, I love

Speaker 5 taking zoom ins of the curtains and the chairs.

Speaker 3 This is like, don't fuck with cats. Yeah, they're don't fuck with all the cats.
Don't fuck with cats. Don't fuck with cats.

Speaker 5 I had nothing on Hogville, the Arkansas message board back in the day.

Speaker 3 Yes. Well, dude, how about when Jim McElwain fucked a shark?

Speaker 5 As of 20 minutes ago, Urban Meyer is out for Texas.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 That was official?

Speaker 7 Pat Foury retweeted. Ken confirmed earlier report from Horns 247 that former Ohio State Coach Urban Meyer told Texas officials he has chosen not to return to coaching for health reasons.

Speaker 7 He is, quote, sorting through what to do next. That's from Curry.

Speaker 3 They got to keep Tom Herman. I love it that Tom Herman is just like, he just has to be a cuck.
It's like, yeah, Urban Meyer's not not going to take the job, so I guess we'll keep it.

Speaker 5 Herb Street's right, though. That job, that job.
It's impossible. You know what? It low-key sucks.
It does.

Speaker 5 Because you basically have to live in a season of succession where you're surrounded by a bunch of much richer people than you that think that they all control the football team, but they're like six guys that each think that they're the top guy.

Speaker 5 Yes. And you're never going to be the top guy because you're always going to be one of the dudes that's writing a check.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 they think they should be winning like Clemson and Alabama and Ohio State. But guess what? Those are kind of the only teams that win like that now.
Yeah. Um,

Speaker 3 yeah, good college football Saturday winding down. I think two more two more weeks.
Um, all right, let's do who's back of the week, and then we will let everyone get on with their Monday.

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Speaker 3 Okay, Hank, who's back?

Speaker 8 My host back of the week is the Paul Brothers. Oh, we talked about it the other day, kind of how it's like a, you know, love them or hate them, they're not going away.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Logan Paul, brother of Jake Paul, just signed his fight for Floyd Mayweather. So that's going to be Mayweather's next fight.

Speaker 3 And who's Jake Paul going to fight next?

Speaker 8 I'm not sure. It's either Connor McGregor, I think a former UFC guy, or Billy Football.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 he's got three good options. He's got to figure it out.
Hear me out. It would work.

Speaker 5 He needs to fight more people before he fights a professional fighter. He said it himself.
Just tweet at Jake Paul, say, fight Billy Football. You're scared.
It'd be sick. It'd be awesome.

Speaker 5 I bet you all would buy it because there's a good chance to get knocked out.

Speaker 8 That exact thing.

Speaker 3 That's the strip. Yeah.
That's the strategy. That's the script.
And just so. Billy knows Billy's not taking any other fights.

Speaker 3 So if you think you're if that random intern wants to show up here, I'm not training. I'm not dropping nice stuff.

Speaker 5 You might remember the new Jake Paul because so many people are trying to fight you. Right.
So you can be like Jake Paul. I know exactly what you're going through.
Yeah, bro.

Speaker 5 Bro, those people are trying to fight you. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 You should actually smoke on it.

Speaker 5 You guys, if you don't fight, you should just get married because the hashtag would be so great the billy footpaw

Speaker 3 billy fight paul yeah fight paul he retweeted it's almost a way dude he did you retweeted me so you actually said that earlier when someone was like hey is this really happening he's like you're you basically yeah you retweet me so we're basically yeah

Speaker 3 pretty much

Speaker 5 shooting my shot but wait billy so floyd mayweather is fighting against logan right right floyd's a little smaller logan's small jake is a big guy though no no logan's like the actual big guy no Jake is big.

Speaker 5 He's like 6'1.

Speaker 3 He's 10, 6'1. Jake's tiny.
What's the first time you your entire premise of fighting Jake Paul is you think he's like 5'9? What happens when he's 6'2?

Speaker 5 He's not actually 6'2.

Speaker 3 But what happened? He did the math. Okay.
Anyway. You did the math? I did.

Speaker 5 Anyway, I did a whole like forensic analysis of how Talli actually. No, you took three pictures in the AWS.
And then he drew a line in Microsoft Paint.

Speaker 5 I know there's like sports science. Jake Paul 100% doesn't know who I am.

Speaker 3 Hundreds of people don't know who I am. When you retweet him, don't be like that.
But I know, but it's like, but it's like I know everyone that I retweet, ever.

Speaker 5 If you just put me at the tip of the spear, I'm like best friends with that.

Speaker 3 Chick that writes fire Anthony Lynn on her ass.

Speaker 3 Yep. Who? I had a retweeter the other day.

Speaker 5 Anyway, I think it would be great if it happened.

Speaker 3 What do you mean, dude? It's happening. It's going to happen.
So Billy.

Speaker 5 Let's wrap some context around this because the thing that he retweeted was your idea, which admittedly is an amazing idea, that you should make an app that's for guys that want to fight Jake Paul so they can meet up and fight each other.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 5 So I think you take that one step further and then you just fight everybody that signs up for that app and then you become king of the guys that want to fight Jake Paul and then he has to fight you.

Speaker 5 Okay. That's a lot of fights though.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but you know what? To be the best, you got to beat the best. The warrior.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, basically.

Speaker 3 The warrior.

Speaker 5 It's going to work. Another app on the table that I got developed.

Speaker 3 Yep. What happened to the last one? The Jism, whatever.
What was it called?

Speaker 5 It's still in the works.

Speaker 3 What was it called?

Speaker 3 We're waiting for

Speaker 3 the pandemic to

Speaker 3 hang out.

Speaker 3 Where's the beef?

Speaker 5 It's called Gala.

Speaker 3 Gala! That's right. God damn it.
It's so forgettable. No, it was sick, bro.

Speaker 3 Gala.

Speaker 3 If you're listening to this and you don't know about Gala,

Speaker 3 it has nothing to do with... Galas whatsoever.
It's the worst. Gala party? Yeah, no, you just.
What the fuck's a Met Gala? It's a fancy party bill.

Speaker 5 Billy wanted to pull a Tom Haverford and tried to name his app something that sounded expensive. Yeah.
Which is a good idea. Sounds expensive.
It doesn't tell me what the app is.

Speaker 3 It's literally an app for Trojan horse. It's an app to find out how many bar, like, does the bar have dudes farting in it or not? Yeah, it's called Gallup.

Speaker 5 The app, it's at its very core, is for guys who want to be in a room with as few guys as possible.

Speaker 3 You created back pages and called it Gallup. Nope, that's fucked up.

Speaker 3 All right. PFT, who's back.

Speaker 5 My who's back of the week is

Speaker 5 people asking, is Die Hard a Christmas movie?

Speaker 5 I saw it start to happen.

Speaker 5 This is the hot dog is a sandwich debate. If anybody asks

Speaker 5 this question, they are a police officer. Do not answer them.
It's an older and older crop of people that are asking it. It's trickling up into the older generations every single year.

Speaker 3 So it's honestly...

Speaker 5 This is so much worse than the LeBron MJ debate. It's so bad.

Speaker 8 I've never seen Die Hard.

Speaker 5 How about you discuss something current, like whether or not Joe Flacco's elite?

Speaker 3 It's so bad, though, PFT. It makes me so, so, ugh.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 it gives me bad goosebumps, the bad version of it. Yeah.
I guess that's HPV, but it gives me, it makes me shudder when I think of people having this conversation in the year of our Lord 2020.

Speaker 5 So don't, please just do me a favor and don't don't make me see you having this conversation.

Speaker 3 Please don't do it.

Speaker 5 I will lose respect for you.

Speaker 3 Please don't do it.

Speaker 3 All right, My Who's Back is making stupid bets because for some reason I totally forgot I did this in the middle of the witching hour, but some dude treated me, hey, big cat, if the Lions win today, you have to suck my balls.

Speaker 3 And I said, ugh, fine.

Speaker 3 So I got to suck that guy's balls.

Speaker 3 That's fine. Shout out, paid board man.

Speaker 3 I'm be sucking your balls, bro. I mean, is he for real, though? Is he going to come

Speaker 5 to New York? If he comes to New York, you got to suck his balls. I'll suck your balls.
That's how it works.

Speaker 3 And you can fight Billy. You got to pay your balls.
Two for one. That's a two-for-one

Speaker 3 part of my take special.

Speaker 3 I will suck your balls and you can fight Billy.

Speaker 5 That's the immersive part of my take experience. That's PMT fancy.

Speaker 3 It's called the part of my take car wash. You go to ESPN, you get to go fucking first take, and maybe some like, you know, Greenie's radio show.

Speaker 3 You come to PMT, Billy will cave your skull in while I suck your testicles.

Speaker 5 And let Hank Stogg rub his slimy dick on you.

Speaker 3 That's the dick.

Speaker 3 All right, Billy, who's back?

Speaker 3 Parlay sheet hit again this week. Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 3 My Can't Lose didn't win because PFT made me switch. Otherwise, it wouldn't have won.

Speaker 5 Big Cat, are you your own man?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Wait, is it it called the Being a Good Parliament?

Speaker 5 Is it called the Big Cat parlay? The Can't Lose Parlay?

Speaker 3 Or is it called Being a Good Parliament?

Speaker 5 You're a very good cat when PFT makes really good points.

Speaker 3 I trusted you, but I guess I shouldn't.

Speaker 5 My bet was correct.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but it wasn't.

Speaker 5 There was a material change

Speaker 5 in the last seconds of the game.

Speaker 3 It sucks that I was the initial one and won.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's crazy because the Can't Lose Parlay has never lost before.

Speaker 3 It was going to be on a hot streak, and you ruined it.

Speaker 5 But on that note, you should have followed the Bird Alert. The Bird Alert, it was a bloodbath for birds this weekend in the NFL.
Yeah. Over two and a half bird teams plus 155.

Speaker 3 That hit early. Yeah.
Often.

Speaker 3 All right, so good job, Billy.

Speaker 5 It worked.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So how much money you win?

Speaker 5 $30.

Speaker 3 How much money did you put in? $100, but it's still positive.

Speaker 5 Wait, what?

Speaker 3 It's better than losing money. So

Speaker 3 wait.

Speaker 3 You lost $70.

Speaker 3 No, no.

Speaker 5 I spent $100 and you got $30 back.

Speaker 3 And I got $130 back. Okay, all right.
Is Is that counting the two units that I gave you to shut up during witchcraft? No,

Speaker 3 so technically I'm up $170. Okay, nice.
Nice. Nice.
But good job.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I started as a joke, but now it's actually working.

Speaker 3 Like, now you're probably going to quit your job. Yeah.
Which, God forbid, that happens. I know.
I've got to go. No, don't go.
I might. I might have to.
No, please.

Speaker 3 Please, don't. No, don't leave.
Please, please.

Speaker 5 We love you. I won't.

Speaker 3 Jake, what you want? Oh, man. Thank God.

Speaker 3 Rick Petino. Nice.
First win. Nope.
With Iona. No, he's back.
Nope.

Speaker 5 First win. First win.
Borrellis.

Speaker 3 That was quick. Yeah, shout out to Borrellis.
Yeah, so that's a tough one. No,

Speaker 3 no, no.

Speaker 5 Said that he loves

Speaker 3 going to Frankie's killing restaurant.

Speaker 5 Frankie, just.

Speaker 3 Well, you have a great A fighter right here who will protect you.

Speaker 5 Frankie, just make sure that the security cameras are on and don't let them in after hours. That's all I'm going to say.

Speaker 3 You guys are putting my life at risk when you make that Rick Petino.

Speaker 5 You know what? I want to make a Rick Petino bet on on the Barcelon Sports book where will Iona score their first points in the first 13 seconds? I think people would bet on it.

Speaker 3 I don't condone. All right, let's do numbers.
And Animal Fact.

Speaker 7 18. Can Billy go two and a round?

Speaker 3 No, no, I took the 69 home with me.

Speaker 5 8. Oh, so that makes it easier for us.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yeah.
What? I have it. I kept it.
Billy, you should put that up on mine. No.

Speaker 3 That's theft.

Speaker 3 You stole it from me. You know what?

Speaker 5 I stole the 69 ping pong. It's in a very safe place.

Speaker 3 What are you going to do with it? I just keep it next to my.

Speaker 3 Your dog is going to eat it.

Speaker 5 It's literally right next to my bedside table. I wake up.

Speaker 3 It's dog already. So that means it's on the floor.
I look at it.

Speaker 5 It's right next to my bedside table. There you go.

Speaker 3 And I laugh every time I look at it. And make my day better.

Speaker 3 51. Eight.

Speaker 5 We're sticking with eight. I'm retired.

Speaker 3 No, you can't retire. I'm retired.
I'm going out. Shut up, bro.
You cannot retire.

Speaker 3 If you hit a number,

Speaker 5 if one of us hits, we get to either retire ourselves or bring Billy back in. 57.

Speaker 3 All right, I'm bringing Billy back in with 57 right now.

Speaker 8 82. Name is 82.

Speaker 5 What did you say? 82. What'd you say, hen? 51.

Speaker 3 What'd I say? 57? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Possums are the only marsupials in the United States. 18.
Let's go!

Speaker 3 Let's get back to back!

Speaker 3 Retired, bitch!

Speaker 3 Welcome back! Welcome back to the country, though, bitch. Bring the 69 back.

Speaker 3 There you go, Jake. Fuck you.
Jess, you have to bring Jake back. Jake's the current champion.

Speaker 3 Fuck Jess. Give it up for Jake, everybody.

Speaker 3 Jake is number one. Jake's number one.

Speaker 3 Jake. Suck you.
Jake, that's awesome. You're really good at that, Jake.
Jake, you're really good at that.

Speaker 3 Jake, how did you do that? Dude, you're the hottest ping-pong guy. Jake, talk us through how you're doing.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God, that's so good.

Speaker 5 Give us a post-game speech about it.

Speaker 3 Tell us how to do it, dude. You're so good at this.
You know, the lottery machine's a really good competitor, but tonight I have to pat myself on the back. I was a little bit better.

Speaker 3 That's so perfect.

Speaker 3 Billy showed up and he's like, oh, I'm retired, guys. You play your little lottery.
I hit 69.

Speaker 3 I hit 69. Because you literally just sat there being like, 18's better.
Oh, guys, you do it. I don't play this child's game anymore.

Speaker 3 69? I didn't hit him.

Speaker 3 69 is a die hard. I'm very happy for Jake.
Timeout. Who hit more recently? Timeout.
Type, who won the retreat. Who's the hottest? It's what have you done for me lately, League? Bro.

Speaker 3 All right, Jake, official decision. Are you sitting out or are you bringing Billy back? Billy's back.
Yeah!

Speaker 3 Yes! I'm not bringing back 69.

Speaker 3 We got to. Come to my house.
I'm not bringing 69. And you are.
Jake, why don't you go to the 2016? Dude, don't try to put 18 right back in the machine. Yeah, you can take it home for the night.

Speaker 3 No, no, no. Jake's a man of honor.
Billy, you're a piece of shit. Go get this 69 bucks.

Speaker 3 We're not coming. Stop trying to trick us to play Call of Duty with you.
No.

Speaker 3 I love you guys.

Speaker 3 See you guys at once. Love you guys.
Good job, Jake.

Speaker 5 Love you you guys.

Speaker 3 Do you want to actually do that? Julie, what was your

Speaker 3 talking away?

Speaker 3 Oh, I don't know what I'm about to say or says anyway.

Speaker 3 The days are not a day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 3 No, I've been coming for your love of game.

Speaker 3 Shy it away.

Speaker 3 No, I've been coming for your love of game.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 Needless to say,

Speaker 3 I'm on settings. But

Speaker 3 be stone

Speaker 3 away.

Speaker 3 The linear life is okay.

Speaker 3 Say after me.

Speaker 3 It's no better to be saved than sorry.

Speaker 3 Say after me.

Speaker 3 It's the better to be saved than sorry.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 Hard things that you say

Speaker 3 just the flame of the letters away.

Speaker 3 And all the things I've got to remember:

Speaker 3 Be shine away.

Speaker 3 You'll all become blue anyway.

Speaker 3 Be shiny away.

Speaker 3 You'll all become a moving light.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 up.

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 in a day.

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 in a

Speaker 3 day.

Speaker 3 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.