Rich Eisen, Mr. Portnoy Has A Complaint, And Week 10 Preview

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Exclude to white. On today's part of my take, we have Rich Eisen on the show.
We also have Portnoy's complaint. Mr.
Portnoy has an issue with his HP. We have Week 10 preview, Masters going on, a packed show.
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Today is Friday, is friday november friday november 13th friday the 13th spooky season's not over i got a little joke for you pft friday the 13th more like 2020 that's good that's a good whole year i saw someone do that that was so lame i wanted to thumbs down fucking tweet. You should.
Yeah, there should be a button to disrespect a tweet as well. Yes.
So what about what if Friday the 13th was on a Halloween? That'd be trippy, huh? That would be trick trippy. Not possible, but very trippy.
Maybe Blake Bortles would think that Billy's doing the math right now. Billy just looked up into the left.
OK, so we're we just watched Thursday Night night football we have about five minute recap and then we're back in the studio we got rich eisen on the

show we got mr portnoy uh we have a tribute to leroy the king at the end of the show but first

we have to talk about the tennessee titans being frauds and having the worst special teams of all

time fraudulent football team.

Well, it's interesting because Vrabel has clearly designed this team to be like a close

game type of team, right?

He's designed it to be, and they've done a really good job actually of winning one score

games up until this point.

But if you don't have a kicker and your punter is a FedEx delivery guy, that's a problem.

And I do want to point out though that their original punter, Kern, their starting punter, he's out because he has a broken wrist. And I think that if you're a punter with a broken wrist, I don't want to be the hard old football guy, but I'm going to be the hard old football guy.
You should be able to punt with a broken wrist. If you're a punter, that's the one thing in your life that you should be able to still do with a broken wrist.
I get that you need to jack off a lot because you're a special teams guy. That would be an issue.
But as far as like being on the football field, you should be able to punt with a broken wrist. Yeah.
Tape that up. So, yeah, the game totally turned on the shanked punt and then the block punt and then Stephen Gostowski being an absolute enigma.
If he's kicking a ball over 50 yards, it will be dead center perfect. And then anything in from there, it is like a 50-50 proposition at this point.
And on top of all that, we had the very special secret weapon, Jacoby Brissett, the long yard, short yard guy. He comes in for Hail Marys and QB sneaks.
I love that Phil Rivers is at this point of his career that he can't throw it deep, and he also can't take the physical contact of a QB sneak up the middle on a short yard situation. It's beautiful.
It's been like that for seven years. He's attempted one QB sneak in the last seven years.
He just doesn't do it for whatever. He doesn't do it.
He hates contact. He hates hitting that A-hole.
Yeah. And the B-hole.
I honestly don't think people always tweet me and say something nice about my team, and I said the Colts are good, not great. And I think the Titans are exactly what we thought.
They have players, but they're fraudulent. Their defense is fraudulent and they got I mean Phil Rivers had had was able to just be back there all night he had 300 plus yards Phil Rivers is not in a point in his career where he should be like that comfortable you know what I mean like like he's he's not someone hard to figure out but the Titans defense makes everyone look a little better and the titans offense i still don't understand what you're doing when you get to short yard situation like they were you know the game was kind of over i think they were down maybe it was they were down 17 and they were at like second and three or third and three and they threw the ball three times in a row it's like you have derrick Henry.
You might as well use him in this situation. Yeah.
So the Titans are nice team, fine, but they're just not built for anything big. I think we can all agree on that.
They're a nice team. That's exactly who they are.
And you're right about Phillip Rivers. What you can say about him, though, is he's not going to drift.
So the offensive linemen know exactly where he's going to be. That's true.
If they're blocking for him, he's not going to drift so the offensive linemen know exactly where he's going to be that's true if they're blocking for him he's not going to drift and you make jadevion clowny look good on a couple flash plays because you do the one thing that he can he can really like accelerate out of the backfield he can excel at uh at not being blocked and then sprinting and tackling a running back for a loss of three yards that's like that's where jion Clowney will always, he could play until he's 40 and get one of those tackles a game, but like that entire, the entire defensive line isn't getting any pressure whatsoever. And I want to give credit, a lot of credit to our own Billy football for initiating to take that Derek Henry is not a good short yardage back.
Now he did have over a hundred yards and he did. Well, he's amazing in open space.
He's just space. Yeah.
He doesn't, he doesn't like getting the ball up the middle. I don't want to say this.
No, it's the top. Like that's why they're doing those tosses to him.
Does Derek Henry run scared? No, it's just legitimately. He's not built to run between the guards like off tackle.
Yes. But between the guards, he's not a stout guy.
He's not a fullback. He's not a Marshawn Lynch who can go between the guards and get the yardage.
I just like using the phrase run scared. Billy, then.
No, I don't think he's scared. He's just not built for it.
You are a football expert. Break it down.
Why is that? He has a certain sort of. He's built like a horse, not an ox.
Okay. There we go.
It goes back to animals. Long legs, speed.
He's not, he doesn't have, you know, he doesn't have a diesel engine. He has more of a sports car.
He's got too much legs. He's all gams and no hams, you know? Stride length, not, you know, short, strong steps.
Billy, you need to start doing weekly breakdowns, like the Baldy breakdowns, with a pen or a Jeff Schwartz spoon, and every single time you break down a player, it just always goes back to animal analogies. I would watch that every single week.
I would love to watch. I'll buy you the All-22 access the all 22 access just to see Billy football's animal breakdowns of the week.
I mean, I could throw one here and there. You know, what'd be great is if instead of using a pen or a spoon, just put your, use your feet, just have like your toes pointing in front.
And we'll put it on only fans. Yeah.
Billy feet. Yeah.
Perfect. Yes.
Anything else? I mean, this is kind of an unremarkable Thursday night game because it was weird. I mean, even at halftime when the Titans are up, you're like, the Colts, it feels like they're going to win this game.
And they just totally, I mean, they even had that fourth down stop. The Titans had that fourth down stop where the Colts didn't score, which I love that, by the way.
I think most football coaches are starting to do this, but if you're on goal line and you go for it on fourth down, if you have a decent defense, you're going to have what happened where they have to punt from their own end zone and you get the ball right back. It's worth the risk.
I have one last thing. It's kind of a little nugget.
You call it a nugget in the biz. The offensive coordinator from the Titans is the owner of FedEx.
Sorry, his dad owns FedEx, and he therefore is also the employee of their new punter who sucks at punting. So I just thought that was it.
Not what you know, it's who you know. Yeah, there you go, Jake.
Fire him both ways. Fire him both ways.
I had that ready two PFTs. I scooped you.
I scooped you on the i call him i call him tom shanks because he's another former fedex employee that misconnected with a wilson there we go uh all right all right um let's get to uh the weekend preview and then we have like i said fantasy fuck boys rich eyes and mr portnoy pack. But let's get through Masters Talk and Weekend Preview right after this.
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All right, weekend preview time, Masters and NFL Week 10. also college football slate which we had that remember that moment in uh when they started to like put together the entire schedule in august and we're like there's gonna be a weekend where we have week 10 lsu alabama yeah and the masters unfortunately we found out uh what we are always knew when kids are on a college campus and there's a pandemic, there'll probably be people getting the cocoa.
They'll be fucking. So we have some games canceled in college.
Still a decent slate. Not a great one, but whatever.
Football's being played. But we have Masters and Week 10.
Let's talk a little Masters first. Let's do it.
So Tiger doing well. We're rooting for Brooks.
The greens are soft. Vern is back.
They're very soft greens. These are remarkably soft.
They look like they're hitting shots into a memory foam mattress. Yes.
It's like hitting and kind of sinking a little bit, maybe rolling an inch or two. They're sticking them.
You know what? This course is wide open. It is wide open.
Anyone can win. One of my favorite things about golf, too, is when there's weather involved,

and people will say, you know, if the weather dies down,

they might be the lowest score ever in the afternoon.

And that's the game we play, folks.

That's golf, baby.

You could golf at 10 a.m.

It could be hard.

You could golf at 3 p.m.

It's easy now.

The course wakes up a little bit in the afternoon.

The course is like the Seattle Seahawks. It's tough in the morning.
The clocks are all messed up internally. But, yeah, the course is looking wide open.
You know what? This course right now, it favors the best strikers of the ball, of which Brooks Koepka is one of those. Well, it's a second shot course.
Yeah. I read that on Tuesday.
Yeah, that's the striking of the ball. Yeah, second shot course.
So everyone knows that. It's not about how long you drive it.
It's about the second shot. It's not how long your driver is.
48 inches, by the way, if you haven't heard, Bryson hitting. He's not overcompensating for anything.
It's got the extra four inches to keep him slightly farther away from any fire ants that he encounters. Yes.
So, yeah, we're going to be – we'll recap Masters, obviously, on Monday's show. But it's going to be great.
It's great, too, because we're going to have it in the morning on Sunday. My dumb brain didn't even realize, because the clock's changed a month ago, that they will have to start the Masters earlier on Sunday, and it's going to end around, what, like 4, 4.30.
So it will be perfect. Then we have six games late.
Six games six games late Hank do you want to have that debate by the way we've done this before but we can't I just I got one take that I've kind of been sitting on here I wanted to see the course in real life see how it looked on tv before I uncorked this one uh I think that the masters looks better in November I think that the course I think that it's better as a November tournament than it as an. Well, they spray painted it.
Yeah, they spray painted it really nicely. I don't know if I mean that take yet, but I know that somebody out there is going to have that take.
So I just, I wanted to be first market on it. Prisoners of the moment.
I think that it gives, it gives the conifer trees, the pine trees, more of a shine that often gets overlooked when everyone's talking about the azaleas and all these other things that are just really polluting the air with pollen. So it's nice to see the year-round trees, as well as a couple of deciduous trees that are losing their leaves, turning orange, gives you a nice sense of fall.
So I just want to get out in front of that take and just let the record show. I am the first to say that the Masters looks better in November.
Looks better in November. Hank.
It's not a debate a debate since we know we're a positive vibes only podcast. We are.
You're going to be a positive person now. I'll just present it in a way that you can think positively on it.
Maybe in a bubble, if there's only NFL football, like having six games late, was it six and five? Five games early, six games late. Not as ideal, but this Sunday will be a better Sunday because there's six games late because of the Masters.
Everyone will be focusing on the Masters during the day, and then when it's late, you still have that rush of all of these games going on. So on this Sunday alone, it will be a better Sunday because there's games late.
So I actually don't disagree with that, but are you giving up the idea that six games late in a normal Sunday is ridiculous? No. I still think that's better, but we're a Positive Vibes-only podcast, so we're not going to argue about it.
It's just good to have something a little bit different every now and again. It just sucks.
They're throwing a curveball at us. That's fine.
Keep me on my toes as a fan. See how I react to it.
It's going to be – so when the Masters ends, it's going to be what, like 4 o'clock, 4.15? Yeah, 4.30. Cicilliano will be fucking up something.
Yeah, so then the entire afternoon is going to be totally wide. There's not going to be that sense of a taper down.
Yeah, so I'm with it today. I'm with it this Sunday.
And here's another way I would ask a big cat, because it's not that I love having six games late, but here's the question. Would you rather have three games or six games? Only one of those two answers.
Late? Yeah. Probably three.
That's where we disagree's where we disagree i have no fortunate but i've always said that if four is the perfect number i know i know i know that but that so would you rather have four or five four okay so you agree four is the perfect number but three is too little and i'll take more than i'll take i'd rather have more than less yeah i would rather have three and and be able to taper off and slow myself down because otherwise just too much madness. What are you going to say, Jake? With our fortunate setup here at the office, red zone is not needed this weekend because you have five games early, one TV for the Masters and then six games late.
That's great. Wonderful.
You don't need it. Fuck yes.
Maybe during the crossover, but five football, one golf and then six football. It's going to be very interesting to see what Tony Romo, how dialed in he is on his afternoon game.
No, first of all, he's off. He's off entirely? Yeah, because he doesn't put him.
Tracing Tony home for the weekend. He doesn't work with anybody but Jim Nance.
Correct. Tony Romo became a diva overnight.
He called a couple jet sweeps correctly, and all of a sudden we think he's Buddha. Does the audio go to Augusta? Does the audio go to Augusta at 1pm? What do you mean? Here.
For the sound. Oh, yeah.
Not at 1. I think maybe 3 o'clock.
No, because we usually have the audio on the red zone, so there would be no reason not to. So yeah, the audio will be on Augusta.
It'll be an interesting setup. Because it's distracting to have it on one single game and then having to watch four other games.
I'm glad that Vern's there. We don't actually know if Vern is on location.
We think that he is. I wish that he was on the 17th green with a giant headset just in a lawn chair wearing shorts just by himself calling whatever he sees in front of him.
But he might be remote. Big, round basketball face.
Yeah, he might be on Zoom from the comfort of his own home. Regardless of where he is, I just hope that Vern's wearing the huge headset with a giant antenna on it somewhere.
Yeah, Vern is like in 101 Dalmatians when everyone ends up looking like their dog. He's called sports for so long he just looks like a ball.
He just slowly became a ball. I have a picture with him from freshman year.
Oh, wow. That's huge, James.
How tall is Vern? Because he could be anywhere between 5'2 and 5'6. Yeah, he's 4'11.
Love it. Official.
Yeah, on his side, he is the exact same height. Yes.
Alright, let's do some NFL Week 10 preview. I'm calling it right now.
This is Trap Week. There's some tricky, weird games, weird lines.
Feel like we know some shit, and then we're going to go away from it being like, whoop, we didn't know anything. But let's start with a game we do know.
Quickly, Jaguars versus Packers. This is a slaughter.
Hank, you wouldn't even touch the Jaguars' money line with my money. That's not true.
Oh, okay, you would. You're going to do it? You believe in Luton? The Jaguars have given up over 30 points in six of their eight games.
Aaron Rodgers is going to be humping and pumping and smiling and doing his fucking thing. This is a get-right Aaron Rodgers game.
Doug is coaching for his job. No, he's not.
Doug is coaching with the understanding that he is to lose as many games as possible. He's getting paid to be a tanker this year.
He's in him. What the fuck? He's like the producers.
I never saw the movie or the play or anything like that, but I'm aware of what the storyline is. And that's exactly what Doug Marone is doing.
He's doing a great job of it. We also have the Jaguars coming from Florida up to Green Bay.

They're a terrible team.

Like, they don't want to play.

They don't want to be there.

They don't want to do any of this.

Does Jake Luton have any Wisconsin connections?

Because his name, to me, just, it screams Wisconsin.

Jake Luton.

Luton.

Jake Luton.

Yeah, to me, it just seems like his family's got a dairy farm and his uncle overdosed on lager. Marysville, Washington.
Oregon State Beaver. Turnover chain.
What do they have at Oregon State? I think they do have a turnover axe. A turnover micro brew.
What? Chainsaw. Chainsaw.
Chainsaw. That's pretty cool.
Yes. There's no chain on it, though.
They wanted to make sure everyone knows that. I don't like that.
Yeah. No one got hurt.
Did you see, by the way, the action? That is the tradition down in Jacksonville where Jack Del Rio brought in a stump and an axe into the locker room. Yes.
Because he wanted his players to keep chopping wood until their punter hit himself in the calf and almost cut his own leg off. It's beautiful when football guys go too far, which actually is perfect because it's Eastern Michigan.
So they call themselves the factory, and a player has to be holding this 50-pound wrench at all times on the sideline and can never let it touch the ground. Yes.
And that's, I mean, imagine if you have to put in the backup in the fourth quarter. He's like, why'd you miss that tackle? Well, I've been holding a 50-pound wrench for three quarters, coach.
I like that a lot, though. That's cool as hell.
Maxson was on one. Blue collar as shit.
Texans-Browns. Browns.
Browns. I don't think that this falls into a trap game.
I think this is a Browns get-right game. I have some stats for you.
So Nick Chubb might be back. Wyatt Teller might be back.
The Browns guard should be back. The Browns in the four games before Wyatt Teller got hurt, 204 yards per game rushing, eight touchdowns.
In the three games since he got hurt, 86 yards per game, zero touchdowns. That guy's important.
Yeah. And I always like finding out one of the linemen is important because you feel like you have an edge that usually doesn't actually matter, but in the back of your head you can tell yourself because most people don't look up like, oh, who's out? Especially if it's a guard.
That's one way to tell. Their inside run game really improves on play action even sometimes.
It's better with this guy here because you have to account for him in your defensive scheme. I also like the Browns offensive line coach.
I know I've talked about him before, but Callahan, best offensive line coach in the league. Yes.
Tom Cable, fight you. He'll fight you.
He'll fight your ass. He'll fight you for sure.
Kenny Stills also liked a tweet bashing the Houston Texans organization. So things are going well.
Things are going well. And they fired their PR person.
That was the tweet that he liked. Yeah, so.
Being like, this is a joke of an organization. There was some sort of coordinated media blitz yesterday where every reporter had to tweet out their support of their vice president of PR after she got fired by the Texans.
I don't know what. She was probably just giving them all the information about what Bill O'Brien was going to do next.

But I don't know.

That seems like a very tough job to have is to be a public Bill O'Brien defender.

You're basically like that dude.

Remember from the Iraq War?

The Baghdad Bob, the guy that was like, everything's fine.

Our country's good.

Yeah, you're the this is fine dog.

Yeah, exactly.

At all times.

That's your job.

All right.

Washington football team at Detroit.

AP revenge game.

AP revenge game, which actually bodes well for the Washington football team

be all times that's your job uh all right washington football team at detroit ap revenge game ap revenge game which actually bodes well for the washington football team because he stinks now yeah well and he stinks in revenge games he's averaging three yards of carry in revenge games yeah and he said that this is going to be a revenge game he said it out loud so he's had a revenge game every year matt patricia by the way i i want to give him a little bit of credit on something. It's not so much giving him credit as to being like,

hey, man, that sucks.

I'm sorry for you.

But the fact that you're a rocket scientist in any line of work,

it just sucks any time you make a minor mistake because everybody's like, oh, nice job, rocket scientist.

So the moral of that story is don't study jet propulsion.

Actually, having a winning season for the Detroit Lions is way more difficult than rocket science. Yes, agreed.
That's far, far more difficult. Jim Caldwell did it.
Yes, something on the moon. Yes.
So they should actually change it to that. It's not rocket science.
It's not winning with the Lions. Yes.
That should be the new saying. Yes, it is way more difficult.
Right, right. They've never had a Russian that's been able to coach the Giants to over 500.
Eagles, Giants. So this is the sack bowl.
Daniel Jones and Carson Wentz, they just love getting sacked. I don't know what the line would be on that, but they have 60 sacks between them.
They just love getting sacked. I think they bring out the most hilarious aspects in each other.
When Daniel Jones and Carson Wentz play, I think it's just like somebody's going to trip and fall. Somebody's going to fumble four times.
Someone's going to get sacked into oblivion and fumble six. Someone's going to throw two interceptions.
I don't know. It's always a mess.
They see each other and they're like, let's fuck this up. I don't understand this line.
I don't understand why the Giants are three and a half point underdogs when it feels like the Giants play every game to a point. Yeah.
Just home field worth three points. Well, the Giants are at home.
Yeah. So wait, they're underdogs? They're three and a half point underdogs.
I'm taking the Giants. Right.
I'm hammering the Giants. But that's what I was saying.
Like the tricky lines, the trap games. Like the Giants have played.
I think they've lost by one or two points. It's like four out of the last five games.
So it makes no sense. We still think the Eagles are going to put it together.
Yeah. This is too easy.
Just be warned. I'm starting to buy into the Joe Judge system.
Yeah. How could you not? I don't know what his system is.
Just be a hard ass. It's play the Washington football team every week.
Yeah, just be cool. Play the football team.
Play in the worst division in the history of sports.

And then just make your star players run laps occasionally.

Always be alive for the playoffs.

Bucs-Panthers.

So I think the Bucs are going to kill them.

Yep.

Because Tom Brady, after he loses week one against the Saints,

they then beat the Panthers by two touchdowns.

He loses week whatever it was, five against the Bears.

is after he loses week one against the Saints, they then beat the Panthers by two touchdowns. He loses week whatever it was, five against the Bears.
Then the next week is the 38-10 Packers game. So they lost.
They got embarrassed on Sunday night football against the Saints, which are we... I'm calling that game a wake-up call.
Well, funny you say that. Wake-up call.
Is there a chance that Tom Brady's just too old to play at night? Like he needs to have a solid 12 hours of sleep now? He probably has dinner at 3 o'clock. You know, like your dad is like, when your dad sits down to watch Sunday Night Football, and he's like, his intention is to watch all of Sunday Night Football.
But by the middle of the second quarter, he's dozing off. And then he'll wake up in the fourth and be like, yeah, I watched the game.
It's interesting that you say that because also another telltale sign of dementia is called sundowning, where the closer that it gets to dusk, the lower capacity your brain functions at. So, yes, I do believe that Tom Brady, battling through his dementia, is better in the 1 o'clock time slot.
Although, you know, days are getting shorter. No, 1 o'clock's good for him.
Carolina is not far enough north to have the sun really affect him in this situation. But I agree with you.
I think that it's also a case of everybody is going to think, based on the last primetime game that they saw, that the Bucs are done, which is exactly what we did when the Bucs barely beat the Giants. The Bucs are Super Bowl contenders.
We overreacted that way.

Now we're overacting the other way

saying that the Bucs stink out loud.

It's going to be a get-right game for him.

And then also Christian McCaffrey's hurt again.

So that just, every time he plays

he gets hurt. That just kind of is what it is.

But he gets like 30 rushes when

he does play. They just use him, use him,

use him, and then he gets hurt. Pay him.

He already got paid. But pay him again.

Pay him again. Broncos, Raiders.

This game's going to be weird.

Something weird's going to happen in this fucking game.

I think this is another Duloc Moxie

game. Fourth quarter? I think fourth quarter

they show up in the first? Yeah. No, the

Broncos are going to go down by 17 points

and they're going to tie the game up

in the middle of the fourth and then probably Vegas is going to kick a field goal to win. Okay.
We get to see the cool stadium again, though. This is going to be a weird game.
My own flame. This is going to be a weird game, I think.
There's going to be something fucked up that happens. Everyone's like, whoa.
Well, no, we won't have Cicilliano. Thank God.
You really made my day. You made my day, Jake.
I still love him. I still love him.
I love him. him.
As a broadcast. If you had to pick, Siciliano or Hanson, you have to pick.
Or else I kill your parents. I don't have enough relationship with Hanson yet.
Oh, so he picks Siciliano. You picked wrong.
Your parents are dead. You chose poorly.
Sorry. You chose poorly.
Chargers, Miami. It's good, though.
What Siciliano does is good for the game because Big Cat has to have somebody to blame if his bets are losing. Yes, a foil.
And so you'd much rather... There's actually a very easy-to-document flowchart of who gets the blame when Big Cat's bets are losing.
It's Siciliano. Siciliano's one, and then Hank, if Siciliano's not...
Well, Hank just laughs in my face whenever I'm losing. So he should be one.
You just need a scapegoat. Hank's favorite thing to do is watch me lose.
Literally wakes up in the morning and he's like, I hope Big Cat loses today. Chargers at Miami.
This is a weird game number two. Chargers are two and six.
Miami's five and three. And they're only two.5-point favorites.
That makes no sense. That makes no sense.
And Miami is 15-5 against the spread in their last 20 games. So it makes no sense.
I want to take the Chargers based solely off the fact that they're going to lose this game by exactly one point. And I know that.
Yeah. So they're 2.5 half point underdogs.
Every Chargers game, until proven otherwise,

should have them losing by exactly one point.

Yeah, you'd be an idiot to take the money line for the Chargers.

Yes.

But this game makes no sense to me.

I don't understand why they're only two and a half point favorite.

The fact that you just said that,

I just heard a clip of us from the future being played back in our faces

saying you'd be an idiot to take the Chargers money line

after the Chargers win.

Yeah. I think I have to take the Chargers money line after the Chargers win.
Yeah.

I think I have to take the Chargers money line just because you said that.

You have to.

Why did you do that?

Just get ready for the broadcast to say Herbert Tua, Herbert Tua, Herbert Tua.

Yeah.

Over and over.

Who would you take?

Who would you take?

Who would you take?

All right.

Bills Cardinals.

For the record, Herbert.

Just want to say it.

Herbert.

I have yet to decide.

I'd like to see Tua. Tua has one win.
Bills at Cardinals. For the record, Herbert.
Just want to say it. Herbert.
I have yet to decide. I'd like to see Tua.
Tua has one win. Bills at Cardinals.
The Aaron Judge. Fuck.
Aaron Judge. Altuve.
Yeah. Are the Teddy Bridgewater Brett Favre game.
Yep. Yep.
So big versus small. Small versus big.
Kyler Murray. Do you know he's eighth in rushing? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, he's going nuts.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
I don't know what to say about this game other than I think the over's going to hit in like the third quarter. Yeah.
Points, points, points. Although, am I crazy to think that the Bills' defense isn't as bad as we've seen? Yeah, a little bit.
Okay. I'm crazy then.
Their rushing defense is bad. Call me crazy.
Also, I don't think that Cliff Kingsbury is an offensive genius. No, I think he's a dummy.
He's a dum-dum. I think he's a fucking airhead.
He's a bimbo. He's a mimbo.
He's a mimbo. Yeah, he's all looks.
I think he's a pothead. No substance.
He's the guy. You date Cliff Kingsbury for a few weeks, and then about a month in, you'd be like, we got nothing in common except sex.
Yeah. That's Cliff Kingsbury.
Whoa. You okay? Give me a face that looked like a not a positive face well you weren't saying positive things okay cliff kingsbury well no the sex was great yeah cliff kingsbury is great incredible sex he knows where the clit is yeah oh yeah he's a clit hunter yeah he's a clit hunter he knows where it is but sometimes he okay cliff kingsbury is like really good at fucking but he's also a guy who afraid to be like, yo, can I just get some dome? Yeah.
I'm just more in the mood. Let me get a dome piece.
I'm just more in the mood for some brain. Yeah, yeah.
You feel what I'm saying, honey? Yeah, like taps his girlfriend on the top of the head. Be like, you know...
Yeah, Kingsbury's a guy that... I had a long day.
Someone's going to marry Cliff Kingsbury in like 10 years into their relationship. They'll be driving home from dinner, and he'll ask for Roadhead.

Yeah.

Be like, you know what would be so sexy?

Give me a little dome piece on the way home from fucking P.F. Chang's.

It's so hot.

Yeah.

I swear I won't fart.

Seahawks-Rams.

This game's going to be good.

Oh, I farted.

This game is going to be good.

I love the Rams in this game.

I disagree. The turf is fast.
Yes. TK Metcalf on that turf.
Jalen Ramsey, also fast. Setting records.
Land speed records. I just don't.
I'm officially like, I tried to call my shot last week being like the Seahawks defense is going to start turning around. And the fact that Russell Wilson hasn't been perfect in a couple of the last games and their

defense hasn't turned around

I'm nervous about the Seahawks.

I'm taking the under on this.

Taking the under on it. With that

defense? In this economy?

In this economy. Jesus Christ.

I'm zigging while y'all are zagging.

It feels like a game where Aaron Donald

is going to be living in the backfield. That's not good for the...
Well, that's good for the under. It's very good for the under.
And I think that the Seahawks, they can't possibly be as bad as they have. That's what I said last week! No, but they literally cannot be as bad because they're setting records for most incompetent past defense.
What if they set new records? In the history of the NFL. I know.
That's what I said last week.

I was like, hey, this is impossible.

You can't be this bad.

Well, guess what?

They can be that bad, and they were that bad.

All they have to do is be like the Herbert Hoover of defenses,

not the Andrew Johnson of defenses.

They just have to not find new ways to set records in futility.

And I'm betting on Seattle to be able to do that. If you combine the Seahawks and the Bears, would they go 16-0? Yes.
I think so, too. Yeah.
That just gets me excited. You can do that about probably nine teams, though.
Yeah, but that one, officially, that's a really bad defense and a really bad offense. If you combine the Washington R-Words defense, excuse me, the football team's defense and the Chiefs' offense,

I think they go 16-0.

I don't think so.

I think they go 16-0.

I think they still would have.

No, that defense is good enough.

Chiefs' offense.

Maybe.

The all-Native American nickname team.

Yeah, okay, I'll give you 16-0.

We should just do 16-0 teams, the hybrid teams.

Yeah, the Chiefs.

The Frankenstein teams.

I think the Chiefs and the Dolphins would go as a combination.

No, no.

We'd go 16-0.

You can do the Chiefs in every team in the league.

This defense is average. Besides the Seahawks defense.
It's not that bad. Are the Chiefs on a bye? Yeah, they're on a bye.
Okay, 49ers Saints. I don't know.
49ers, like who's playing still? Jimmy G not. Jimmy G's not, so it's going to be Nick Mullins.
Maybe they're getting a couple people back, I think. Is Greg Kittle back from his two-week, eight-month injury? This is one of those.
The 49ers are at a point now where you could make the argument every single week, well, they're getting some guys back, but that's just ignoring the point that they've lost everyone. So every week they're going to get someone back.
So the 49ers are going to get guys back that they got after they lost guys. Right.
It's basically like a great free agent signing when they get their guys back. So I think I'm going to go to New Orleans with this one.
I do like the Niners plus nine or nine and a half, though. Doesn't it feel like there's a chance that they could stick around a little bit just the Saints coming off a huge win? No, no, because with Sean Payton, I'll have to look up the numbers on this, but there's always like a time in the season when Sean Payton flips the switch.
I think the switch got flipped. Okay.
I think that the Saints are going to go on a run, big run. Okay.
Bengals, Steelers, Big Ben should be able to play. I just can't get enough of him.
He's really having an unbelievable return. He should be Comeback Player of the Year just for comedy's sake.
Yeah, he's kind of nominated himself in several different categories for Comeback Player of the Year. He literally hurt both his knees.
He had Rappaport tweet that out being like, Big Ben hurt both of his knees. And then when COVID went through the locker room and everyone was talking about that, he's like, oh, wait, I have that too.
Because I don't want, I thought the knees were going to kill you today. No, I think it wasn't in the locker room.
It was just like he saw a spike in the infection. He went on worldometers.com and was like, wait, the infection rate went up.
I'm in the United States my throat tickles so he's speaking yeah it's like when what's her

name like Glenn Close or somebody

like that is in four movies each

year and she's nominated for two different roles

Ben is going to be nominated for comeback player of the year

for his arm for each knee

and then for his lungs

yes COVID all right last

up Ravens Patriots

Hank Patriots defense is atrocious how do you feel about this game 3.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

10.

11.

11.

11.

12.

12.

13.

13.

14.

14.

15.

15.

15.

15.

15.

15. 16.
16.s-Patriots. Hank, the Patriots defense is atrocious.
How do you feel about this game? Survive and advance. Survive and advance.
There we go. Will they be surviving and advancing? I think it's going to be close with the Patriots squeaking out a win, Cam Newton getting revenge for what happened against the Bills, or Lamar Jackson's going to have like six touchdowns and run like 200 yards.
It's going to be one or the other. Cam Newton getting revenge for what happened to the Bills.
He fumbled. He should have had a game-winning touchdown against the Bills in the fourth quarter.
That was weeks ago. But he is going to get a chance to have a game-winning fourth-quarter drive against the Ravens and come through this time.
That is what I mean by revenge. Got it.
What about the Jets? Was that another revenge game? The Jets, they battled. Yeah, that was a hard-fought victory.
So is the revenge used up? No, this is a bigger game. A little bit concerning, and we're going to talk to Rich Eisen in a minute, but on his show, Lamar Jackson said that some of the defenses are calling out their plays beforehand.
That doesn't feel good. Also, to me, this is like the quintessential Bill Belichick game because he always brings out the weird shit when they're playing against the Ravens.
He loves to emasculate John Harbaugh. If they get blown out, I'll concede the season.
He loves to do shit like... If they get blown out, concede the season? Yeah.
All right, clip that. Okay, Hank, what if, though, what if the competition committee meets again next week and there are now 10 teams in the playoffs from each conference? I don't think that's happening, by the way.
No, it's just in case there's canceled games. But how many canceled games have to happen? I don't know.
Who knows? No one knows. I'm pretty sure that Steve Belichick called everybody and was like, I still can't believe I added fucking four new make it a team make it a team i think they're only doing the expanded playoffs if a team can't play a full 16 game schedule god if one team i believe so but i'm not positive wait but what if the so like if the bears cancel the game i think if it's an incomplete schedule they might have teams that's what they're gonna do if they play all 256 they.
If they play all 256, they got to cancel themselves to get that AC.

It's only a contingency.

That's smart.

Okay.

All right.

That's a weekend preview.

Oh, I have my Can't Lose Parlay.

They're going to pull in Morgan Spurlock.

Isn't he the guy that canceled himself preemptively?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

All right.

Here's the Can't Lose Parlay.

Are you ready, Hank?

Browns?

Yep.

You like it? I love it. Hank's a doubter.
Hates it already. Because Baker's a friend.
He always hates it already. Packers minus 6.5.
Move the line. Easy.
They're going to kill the Jaguars. Easy.
Saints minus 2.5. Move the line.
Easy. And then Bills Cardinals over 48.5.
You move the line on the Barstool Sportsbook app. Gamble responsibly.
1-800-GAMBLER. You can move the line on that.
48 and a half. So it's those four plus 275.
That's without being boosted. I'm sure they're going to boost it to like plus 325.
Two Texans money line. You think the Texans are going to beat the Browns? You're such a jerk.
You never just like. You know what? Next week, you get to do the.
All right. Sorry.
No, no. No, you get to decide it.
All right. I'm sorry.
Positive vibes. Billy's right.
I've been doing some reflecting. Thank you for apologizing, Hank.
Yeah, you're a negative person. Maybe I'm too negative.
You're a negative person. I'm going to take the Can't Lose Parlay.
I talked to Billy about his parlay system for 45 minutes earlier. I'm writing all of his parts.
I walked over, and by our seats, we all sit in the same area, and Billy was in hushed tones explaining. They were pouring over an Excel spreadsheet as Billy explained his parlay system, and I'm just happy that you're here because I knew you were going to get here eventually.
As soon as you said, wait, you can parlay these things, I was like, he's going to come up with a system. He's going to break Vegas.
So tell us the system. I'm not breaking Vegas.
Basically what I've done is I've figured out how to make sure that you don't lose all your money. And it just shows every outcome that a five game two outcomes to the fifth.
There's 32 possible outcomes. Wait.
You already fucked me up. long time.
No, basically. Just repeat that sentence, but in English.
Let me see it. If there's five football games with two possible outcomes, we're not counting ties.
Okay. Then, of those five games, there are 32 possible combinations of wins and losses.
Got it. Okay, I'm with you.
What about ties? Nope. Ties are like pushes, right? They don't count ties.
It's like kissing your sister. Are you betting line or money line? Money line.
Everything's money line. Yeah, that would push.
Okay. So then you take all those outcomes, and basically I've calculated a percentage of if I bet the parlay responsibly, do the money lines, just

singularly, single bets,

then how much percent of the

time I make money

if I sprinkle in a couple like supplementary

three team parlays.

Wait, you have to add some parlays to this?

Yeah, I got a couple supplementary parlays.

What are the names of the parlays?

Okay, so basically

I start with the can't win

parlay, which I've been doing, which is not

Thank you. Yeah, I got a couple supplementary parlays.
What are the names of the parlays? Okay, so basically I start with the can't win parlay, which I've been doing, which is not expected to win by any means, but there's a huge payout. But I'm taking advantage of the statistical margin of error.
Billy, just tell us that there's more value, that you found a way to get value out of your back. I found a way for you to definitely not lose all your money.
Billy, it seems like you'd lose most of your money. Go through the parlays.
But you're going to lose a lot of your money anyway. Wait, wait.
Say the names of the parlays and what they are. Okay.
This should make sense. Well, the Titans didn't happen yet, but the can't win parlay is all the closest money line.
So Titans, plus 100. Seahawks, plus 104.
Bills, plus 108. Chargers, plus 114.
Bears,4 Bears plus 138 next parlay so that pays out big and then you know you do the could happen parlay which is the opposite side which is Colts Rams Cardinals which are all favored and then you do could also happen parlay which is the Titans Seks, and Bills, which are the three most likely. Can I humbly suggest that you come up with a different name to differentiate that could-happen and could-also-happen parlay? But then there's the just-in-case parlay, Cardinals, Miami, Vikings.
And then there's the statistical analysis parlay, which is I took the mode of all the results and saw that the biggest mode where you lose money involved the Colts, Chargers and the Bears winning. By the way, you're not putting that much.
You're basically this is kind of like diversifying an investment. But then what the fuck are you rooting for? Well, you can root for the original can't win parlay because that's where you get the best case scenario payout.
But if it doesn't hit, there's other places you can make money. This sounds like a surefire way to never lose all your money, but to always lose most of the money.
Which is, look, I don't have that much money to gamble. I can't afford to lose money, all my money every week.
So if I can responsibly not lose all my money and shift if the data is right skewed,

which means like, so basically,

with the spread I've put,

the average outcome is I get $9.

There's a 25% chance he wins money.

No, actually, I got it up to 31.25% that I break even.

He crunched the numbers.

No, seriously, I did a whole financial.

He found an extra 6%. I basically did a statistical build out of everything that could happen.
Wait. And the most you can lose is $86 if you gamble $100.
Do you use a mouse? Yes. Do you use a mouse on Excel? No, I don't.
I use my shift and tab key. Okay.
I don't need to use a mouse. You don't go arrow sign? I sneak even good at Excel.
You don't go arrow sign a a million times no i can just anyway all right i trust you now anyway i'm gonna blog this and have a video explaining how it works it's not gonna win you money but it's gonna help you budget your bets because i only allocate myself a certain amount of money to bet and you don't lose all your money to me somebody who could somebody who runs a spreadsheet without using a mouse is incredible to me. It's like watching Mozart play the piano.
Billy, you really have a beautiful mind. You're a beautiful mind.
Look. Smarter than I look.
What do we call your software system? We need to turn it into a software system. Like, make an app.
No, it's not. Billy's app.
ASP.bet. Anyway.
I love the could also happen. It's going to be on my Twitter by tomorrow.
Could also happen, Parlay. Billy Hot Takes on Twitter.
Edward Roden. You'll figure it out.
The real people will look at it and be like, oh shit. It's pretty good, right? He knows what he's talking about.
It's crazy. Yeah.
All right. Let's do Fantasy Fuck Boys, then we'll get to Rich Eisen.
And we also have Mr. Portnoy.
A complaint from him. But let's do Fantasy Fuck Boys first.
What's up, boy? What up? What up?? What up? What up? Yo, yo. It's Fabiano Luigi Caruana.
What the fuck? F-C-L. My stardom this week is Christmas lights.
Oh, yeah. Get them up.
Get them up. Go downstairs.
Dust off the old box, pull him out, put him up.

Untangling.

Sounds like you're talking about fucking.

Yeah.

Hell yeah.

My sit-em is eating indoors past 10 p.m.

Oh.

You want to eat some lasagna and pursue that 9.15?

Oh, fucking Cuomo.

You can.

You want to eat at 10.15?

Get the fuck out of here.

Get out of here.

That's the witching hour.

Cuomo's Mussolini.

And my sleeper is Graham Gano. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
The Giants can't score touchdowns. Oh, so you're actually saying sleeper.
Sleeper. Sleeper.
You should have kicked a couple of people this weekend. Put him on your team as the kicker.
Sleeper. His name means I win cracker.
It's guaranteed. Yeah.
What's up, dickheads? This is Tontonio Spumissimo. I'm starting chess this weekend.
So I play chess. That's old school.
Where I'm from, we play chess. We pursue.
We drink nice red wines. It's the classiest game ever.
Been watching Queens Gambit. Queens, most beautiful county in the whole wide United States.
You got Flushing. You got fucking Astoria, Greek Town.
I love that shit. Queen's Gambit.
Play some chess. I play chess, not checkers.
Too many simps in Queen's Gambit. Too many simps? What episode are you on? I finished the entire fucking thing.
Yeah, the simps, bro. That dickhead, that checkmate literally translates to simping.
Simp, simp, simp, simp, simp, simp. Simp.
Absolutely. If the only pawn stars I care about are Chum Lee and his dad, I'm sitting shorts.
That's right. I'd hereby declare short season officially over.
Wow. If you got legs out, you better be Andy Reid or Adam Sandler.
Over two exceptions in shorts game right now. We had a great run, shorts.
I'll see you in February. My sleeper is Bill Belichick.
That's right, it's Ravens week. That's when our Dark Lord dives deep into his bag of not cheating unless he gets caught to pull out shit like offset tackles, punter eligible shit, other forms of David Blaine adjacent play calling.
Belichick is going to be on fire this weekend. Alright, what's up guys? It's Phil Aduchi.
What up, Phil Aduchie? My stardom is Daryl Morey. Daryl Morey, as soon as he left the Houston Rockets, that whole thing is blown up like the challenger too soon.
Hey, Houston, we have a problem, am I right? Too soon. My sit-em is Tony La Russa.
Just don't sit him behind the wheel of a car because that guy's addicted to fucking driving drunk. Don't sit him on a bar stool.
My sleeper is PS3. PSX.
PS5. Which one is it? PS5.
PS5. Can't buy them.
When you fall asleep, they smoke and they burn. That's the Xbox.
That's sick. Like the copiers from Dunder Mifflin.
Don't buy it, but do buy it because I love the game. Hey, PS3's on the sleeper though.
If you need a system, you get one of them. Get one for cheap.
I got one in the truck of my car. I want a new one.
It fell off the back of the truck. That's why I'm an NZXT guy.
Pumping down. How you doing, IndyCulture? What's up? How you doing? It's Rio Ferrara.
My stardom is jumping rope. If you have stubborn calves that aren't going to grow with heavy weight, they need repetitive, quick strain.
Jumping rope will grow your calves. What is this? Fifth grade gym class? Is this an ad? No.
Are you doing an ad? No. Are you doing an ad on the bus? People can't wear shorts so they can wear shorts.
Anyway, my sit-em. Fuck them.
My sit-em is vaping, especially in the pandemic. It's basically injecting clouds of venom into your lungs.
My sleeper is the Billy Budget betting spreadsheet. The triple B spreadsheet.
The triple B spreadsheet. It's only for big balls.
It's going to hit. Hell yeah.
Let's all get rich. I love the parlay system.
You've changed the game. I'll legit show you how it works.
I think I understand exactly what it is. I got it.
I'm writing every parlay I'm writing. So I'm doing can't lose and...
Well, does the can't win? There's basically five different parlays. I'm writing all five abilities.
You don't do units. You distribute them everywhere.
and then you also put some Moneyline singular bets,

and then you don't lose all your money. I can't wait until Billy tweets this out,

and then some really smart mathematician is like,

yeah, if this result happens, you lose everything.

I was trying to get the bottom of that.

No, you can't.

It's not possible.

It's not possible to lose everything.

I'm sure we'll find a way.

There's six blackjack ends,

and then a dealer's showing a six and somehow pulls a 21

and just takes every chip on the wall.

I understand what he's saying.

It's not possible to lose everything, but it's also virtually impossible to win a lot. Yes.
No, no, no. We shifted.
It's right-skew data. We shifted the right-skew data.
Are you talking about the polls, Nate Silver? No, no, no. The mean is above the median.
Okay. All right.
Let's get to our interviews. We've got Rich Eisen coming up.
Speaking of gaming, the iconic Black Ops series is back for an all-new next generation experience with call of duty black ops cold war the direct sequel to the original and fan favorite call of duty black ops nothing is ever as it seems in a gripping single player story campaign where players will come face to face with historical figures and hard truths as they battle around the globe through iconic locales like east berlin vietnam turkey soviet-era Moscow, and more. Beyond the campaign, Black Ops Cold War delivers the next generation of multiplayer combat and an all-new zombies experience in addition to sharing content with the free-to-play, free-for-everyone, blockbuster battle royale experience Call of Duty Warzone, developed for next-generation consoles.
Call of Duty Black Ops Cold War will be available on PlayStation 5, 4, Xbox Series X, Series S, Xbox One, and PC on Battles.net starting November 13th. This game looks absolutely awesome.
Go check it out. Call of Duty Black Ops Cold War.
I think we're all going to buy it. We're all going to start streaming.
We're all going to get squad up. So make sure you do it too so you can squad up with us and know what we're talking about when we start making jokes about it black ops cold war go right now call of duty the new call of duty out november 13th which is today all right here he is rich eisen okay we now welcome on our friend recurring guest friend of the program it is rich eisen you can find him every single day rich eisen show it's on the cock uh he also has uh his show the epics or sorry the grind on epics and also nfl game day morning on nfl network so rich good to have you on congrats on all the news with the cock.
Huge news.

How's everything going? Why don't you call Epics the picks then?

Why don't you do that?

I don't understand.

We could if you want.

Yeah, the picks, sure.

You want us to call it that?

What do you like better, the picks or the cock?

Cock picks.

You know what?

You know what?

I think you guys are shortening a little too much.

What's the stream like?

Not to come in and tell you how to do it.

Out of the cock.

Is it good for streaming? It's fantastic for streaming. It really is.
Is it serendipitous that you're Dick Eisen and you're on the cock? You know what? I'm putting together this whole through line right now. and

you know the stream

is

one putting together this whole through line right now. And, you know, the stream is one big flow from what you're giving me right now.
Yep. You know, so I'm picking up what you're putting down.
Yeah. And it's all great.
It's really all great. But congratulations on the gig on the show.
No, and everyone should check out the Rich the rich eisen show seriously on the peacock thank you every every single day uh you you have a great show we actually were just talking about your show because we were we were doing a week 10 preview and uh your interview with lamar jackson the other day was very interesting uh the revelation that maybe greg roman's system has been figured out did you when when something like, when you have an interview, do you know in the moment that's like, Ooh, this one's going to be good. Like people are going to start talking about this.
Well, I mean, it's just one of those things where I ask the questions that I think, you know, people want to know the answer to, or at least I'm curious to know the answer to and just asking him, why are things not working as well? Or why are things not easy? Last answer I'm expecting is him saying that the defense is calling out the plays. And it's just one of those where I make sure that I heard it correctly and answer the ask the proper follow up question.

Do you think that – yeah, go ahead. Sorry.

No, that's it. I mean, and so I heard that and, you know, I asked the follow-up.

Like, so you're saying the defense is calling the plays out.

And, you know, it's the last thing I want to do is, you know,

leave a guest in a position where, you know, I asked the follow-up, like, so you're saying the defense is calling the plays out. And, you know, it's the last thing I want to do is, you know, leave a guest in a position where, you know, his coaches might say what gives.
But, I mean, that's the answer he gave. And, you know, I guess everyone's talking about it.
Yeah. Did you get the sense after that interview or even during it that he came into that interview like, I've got something, like a message that I need to send? No.
I don't think he came in with any agenda i just think he's a sweet kid who is just answering questions and didn't you know think that this was something particularly out of the ordinary to to mention just being honest that these are things that are happening and that they're dealing with and addressing i don't think he was coming in to try and throw his offensive coordinator under the bus or, or make a statement. He didn't know I was going to ask the question that I, you know, to me that I thought was, you know, the number one question is why are things looking so difficult? Why are things less easy for him right now? That's the one thing, you know, that I wanted to know going in.
What, so, I mean, you obviously do so much NFL stuff. you watch the games you have the game uh the pre-game show on sunday what's the biggest surprise you've had so far in the nfl season if team player like what's the thing you haven't seen coming and it's it's happening and maybe throwing a disappointment too okay you want to you want a surprise and a disappointment yes all right um i guess the the surprise would have to be the way the Cowboys have totally collapsed.
Obviously, we didn't see the DAC injury coming, but I honestly thought that Dalton would acquit himself better than the first two games that we saw. And how terrible the rest of the NFC East is, that is a surprise to me.
I didn't see it being a total complete dumpster fire um and um a disappointment I would think is Atlanta I mean that is that was just terrible I mean the 0-5 start I didn't see at all coming that has been a total disappointment I really thought that the the NFC South would be a three-team race um I'm disappointed for 49ers fans with all the injuries that have happened. I'm disappointed for the way that their follow-up campaign went through no fault of theirs.
So I guess you could throw them in the same category as the Cowboys. Okay.
As far as like the best teams in the NFL right now, it's pretty much the Chiefs and then everyone else,

which is kind of crazy to say because the Steelers are obviously undefeated.

Do you think that the Steelers' weaknesses are more glaring than any of the Chiefs' weaknesses,

even though they do have that game in hand?

Well, yeah. I mean, the Chiefs are the defending champs, and they have, to me, the MVP of the season.

That was my prediction going in, and just so you understand, I'm not just saying that. Wow.
Mahomes? Yeah, it was Mahomes. No Stradamus, okay.
Well, I also said that the Ravens were going to win the AFC, and that doesn't look that good. So I'm not just sitting here to try and point out that I was right about something beforehand.
And I might end up being wrong because of what Russ does from here on out. Or Aaron Rodgers might not lose a game.
But the Chiefs don't have much of a weakness. Certainly if they're playing defense the way that they are.
And Le'Veon Bell has really not even arrived yet. And doesn't appear to be in the mix in the way that I think he might be by the end of the season.
So I would choose them. Let's do the least relatable content possible and talk about your schedule in the fall.
Are you tired yet? Are you at the point of the NFL season where you're tired? Because I've been tired for a couple weeks. So what does your Sunday look like? Well, first things first, is it new fatherhood for you? A little bit, but it's also just you know it we we're here late on sunday nights you know watching every game there's just there's a point in the season where it just you know it i'm not complaining it's just you get a little tired i could sleep for like if i could go to sleep right now if you gave me enough nyquil i could sleep for like 30 hours i could nap right now too there's no doubt about it so uh working with dion has not provided you the uh the energy necessary to get you through the day because that's the way i got through the first several years at nfl network yeah he's great he's great pick me up on sunday nights you know like in between we tape our segment with him in between when the afternoon games end and the sunday night football game starts so it really it kicks us into overdrive and keeps he the greatest or what? The best.
He is the absolute greatest. The best.
He is. Yeah.
Right? He's got energy and hilarious and gets it. And like, you know, especially when you're dealing with Deons in particular, you can say he's the greatest of all time at his position.
Like you can definitively say that. So to have a guy who is the greatest of all time at his position and still be able to joke with us and have fun with us i think that's pretty rare well

dion dion is the funniest guy i've i've been around and easily also the most uh popular and

i've i've walked through airports with chris berman uh but nothing compares nobody compares

to dion i mean everybody knows who dion is and he's one of the funniest guys i have ever met

I don't know. But nothing compares, nobody compares to Dion.
I mean, everybody knows who Dion is. And he's one of the funniest guys I have ever met from just what he'll just say off the top of his head.
One time we were coming home from Green Bay on a Thursday night game. And the flight was delayed.
So we hung out in the hotel slash casino which you know i guess you're not supposed to do as an nfl employee back in the day but this was so early um we were uh just passing the time and we played blackjack and uh i was sitting at the end and did so well because i made the right decisions on where to hit what not to he called me terry pendleton his fame his favorite third baseman of all time this guy is like and it just reminds you of he could have been the uh mvp of a world series on top of being one of the greatest football players of all time yeah guy had had the braves beaten the blue jays in that world series he would have been the mvp of that world series so um no doubt that. Tell us some more stories about Chris Berman walking through airports.
Yeah, we want to know those. That picked my interest.
Fuck Dion. Who cares about Dion? Did Chris, would he, he seems like a guy that would find the bar that was closest to his gate, maybe get to the gate an hour early so that he could sit down, have a cocktail.
Yes. I mean, Chris is one of the most famous people I've ever been around.
That's all people want to do is shake his hand and take pictures with him and sit around. But unfortunately, there's not a great story.
Like, we didn't go to an airport bar. We would just be sitting there waiting for the flight to arrive to take us wherever the hell we were going.
I don't have a great Chris Berman airport story. would he be giving people nicknames as they walk by that would be great um he he did not do that no but i will tell you um i will tell you my favorite chris berman story if that's what you're interested yes um i just started um at espn and this thing you'll also appreciate because it's a i work blue in the.
And I think that's what you guys look for, right?

I mean, for me to work blue.

You know, when I'm here on the stool. So I'm just starting at SportsCenter.
Literally 26 years old. Month one, month two of my career in 1996.
and ESPN had all of these banners that you would see that would be hung out at sporting events to let you know ESPN is covering it. Anyway, people would hang these banners in the hallway to have on-air people sign them and auction them off for charity.
And I would be seeing everybody sign these things, but I'd only been there for a couple of weeks and I just didn't know when it would be right or appropriate for me to sign these things so berman's doing a baseball tonight which is on the air before my sports center that i'm doing on a sunday night and i just go on him and i'll just say okay chris you've been here you're you're you're the king of espn uh how long do i have to wait until i sign these banners and he goes how long you've been here you? You've done a show? And I'm like, yeah. And he goes, fuck it, sign them all.
And that was the end of that. I just went and I grabbed a Sharpie and I signed every last one of them because he was Berman.
He gave me the green light. If Chris Berman tells you you can do something, you can do it.
I would say that's what I figured. Definitely ESPN.
Yeah, yeah. So your show on Epics, when you do the game rewatches, so you get the mic'd up.
Do you get to see some of the mic'd up that doesn't get out there to the public? Do you get to see the uncut stuff? No, I don't. What are you looking for, though? I don't know.
Just, I don't know, some juice. Like, give us some juice.
Do you? Oh, here's one. I don't know if this was your show, but did you see when Todd Gurley scored that touchdown?

Do you think he did that on purpose?

No, I thought he he screwed it up.

It looked like to me that he he thought that he was fighting for the first down.

He got through two tacklers. And then I think at the last minute realized he did something wrong.
But what do you think what you'd say if you wanted to cover up the fact that you had a big time escalating clause in your contract on touchdowns that you scored? I see. You're looking to see if he was actually trying to make some extra cash off.
Did it cost you guys a certain hard-earned American dollars of your own? In the moment, yes. But then the Lions went down and scored.
So I was no longer mad at todd girley but i had the the theory that very night that he did it on purpose and then we found out uh i think a day later that he got five hundred thousand dollars if he got a certain amount of touchdowns hmm that's an easy touchdown to get might as well just especially since matt ryan specifically told him do not exactly and then he immediately went and scored so if you think he didn't do it on purpose then you are implying that Todd Gurley's just dumb and can't listen no I'm implying that Gurley was attempting to as a professional get the first down and then realize where he was you could see his body language try and hold himself out of the end zone just the last moment oh yeah Oh, yeah. The guy who's got perfect body control.
These are the best athletes in the world, and he accidentally just stumbles into the end zone. I got it.
What about the fact that there was some selective editing done on the behind-the-scenes stuff where they played a clip from Matt Ryan in the huddle two plays before the play where Todd Gurley went in the end zone, making Todd Gurley look like he was just instructed to not do that. I thought you, I thought whoever cut that together did Todd Gurley wrong.
And this comes from somebody who's not exactly a fan of Todd Gurley, who is reneged on several promises to purchase a cat. Fact.
What? Yes. Well, we can get to that later, but they, they did it dirty with the cut-up that they did where they showed like i guess they were trying to tell a story did you feel um uh a bit responsible for recirculating that sort of fake news and selective editing i do not feel any responsibility for that i cannot be i'm just a messenger i just host a show uh that has a bunch of nfl films highlights i think that was also inside the nfl so you need to take that up with hbo or i guess in the way that you might call it the bow take it up with the bow the bow you know what i mean you know so take it up with them that was inside the nfl or the time or the time sorry it's on showtime now okay take it up with the time i'm gonna say the box what um so you host three different shows what would you say the most diva thing that rich eisen does wow good question right the most diva thing that i do right like if there was going to be an ellen degenerate uh kind of smear campaign against Rich Eisen, what would the people that work for you say?

Oh, my gosh. I think it might be getting my hair cut before show.
Wait, what? You what? Yeah. Yeah.
Do you? This requires some form of maintenance. Okay, so the diva part is you force everyone who works for you to be like, yeah, Rich, you need a haircut, bald guy.
No, no. Okay.
It's me because I don't have a lot of time in the day to figure out when I can get my haircut. And the person who does cut my hair, she's the best at it how often um are you getting in my hair this no what would you guess how often do you think my hair needs to be never yeah oh just put you just put your head in the ball shining machine at a bowling alley no no no what what's going on here requires a significant amount of maintenance.
It cannot be buzzed because if it gets buzzed, it grows back weird. Truly.
What I do have grows all the time to the point where I need to get my hair cut every 10 days. And so sometimes it's before the show when there are some people who are highly uh highly trained professionals who need to know my thoughts on a couple things since the show is about my thoughts for three straight live hours yep i think they would prefer it if i was sitting in the chair and being some form of um i guess communicative in a way and instead i'm in the getting my haircut.
That may be the most diva thing I do. Okay.
So you answered the question. The most diva thing you do is that everyone who works for Rich Eisen in any capacity is not allowed to laugh when he says, I need a haircut.
No, they're allowed to do what they wish. Big cat.
I'm not, it's not like they have to tiptoe around me. I know you're trying to create some sort of Ellen, as you said, scandal.
No, they understand what goes on up here and how I need to have the lid tightened in a way. Because if not, it just grows in very difficult spots believe it or not it requires a lot of maintenance even though i don't have a lot of it okay so but if it grows back in in weird forms don't you just buzz it again you just use the it's not number one on the manscape and no no no no i don't buzz it it's buzzed.
It must be scissor cut. Every individual hair must be scissor cut.
How small are the scissors?

They're scissors for the children.

They're regular-sized scissors,

Dan.

The scissors

are regular-sized.

Because I'm picturing, like, a mouse

with a tiny pair of scissors

just running all over your head. It's the mouse for Ratatouille.
He comes in and he just tiny pair of scissors just running all over your head.

It's the mouse from Ratatouille.

Comes in and he just runs in.

Just running all over your head in circles.

No.

No.

You guys are off.

Okay.

A compliment.

If you want to be accurate, the scissors and the comb are regular size.

Okay.

Okay.

It's just not a lot, but what is there does take, it it is time consuming how long do you think it takes to cut my hair uh 30 seconds well no no there's there's no this is a detailed question because the question is how long does it take to cut your hair but the real question is how long does the barber have to pretend to be cutting your hair before they can be like hey rich you're done no're done? No, I'm sitting there. So I trust me, I don't want to be there for quite some time because frequently it has to be done before the show.
For geographic reasons, where I'm located on the show, where she's coming from and what else she's got to do, what I've got to do. Literally, this is when the time it must occur.
So I really want to be up and out of it. it that said how long do you think it takes literally to cut my hair well like i said i think the barber's probably i think she's probably uh just going stop excuse me let me stop you right around your head yeah let me stop you right there stylist stylist sorry now there's the most diva thing it's a stylist uh uh yes 20 minutes 20 minutes how long that is correct it is 20 to 25 minutes yes okay so that's almost a normal person's haircut and there's a bit when you say normal person right what do you mean i mean that when i go in to get my haircut actual hair comes my head.
What is the most diva thing either one of you guys do? Probably have to ask Hank that because you'll get an incorrect answer from him. We can't judge ourselves accurately on that.
Hank, why don't you go off on this? Go ahead. And I don't know.
I mean, there's someone that gets coffee, and sometimes I see them get coffee for Big Cat like four times in a day. Yeah, no, I definitely – And I don't think you ever drink them.
No, I'm drinking it right now. But sometimes you'll get a coffee, and then like an hour later, he'll bring another coffee.
I'm like, I don't think Big Cat drank the first coffee. I've graduated from going out and getting my own coffee.
Now, I will say, which that very well could be – that would probably be considered diva. I do order it on the app, and I always make sure whoever's getting it gets their own as well.
So it's like you fly, I buy. Good for you, man.
You fly, I buy. But yes, I would definitely be.
I get like three or four coffees a day. So that's fair.
Totally fair. And PFT eats ice cream sandwiches like five times a week, which I don't know if that's diva, but it's just kind of.
I think that's the exact opposite. That's cool as shit.
That's keeping me young. How is that Diva? I would say, self-admittedly, probably the most of the thing I do, we have a Chinese restaurant that we like to order from, and it's the only Chinese restaurant in America that doesn't have General Tso's chicken on the menu.
And so sometimes I'll try to order a second batch of Chinese so I can have my General Tso's chicken while everybody else gets to enjoy their sweet and sour chicken or their short ribs, things like that. I just like to have a nice bowl of General Tso's chicken white rice.
Have you ever Googled General Tso to see who the general is and what battle he won? Or have you ever looked that up? The actual why do we call, why is the chicken named after this particular general? Was he problematic? Uh-oh. I don't know.
Are you canceling generals so? I have not looked up. No, I don't know what he did.
I don't care if he was accused of war crimes. Don't do this to us.
I'm going to separate the art from the artist on that one and say I just really enjoy the chicken. Okay.
That's fair, right? Good for you. That is fair.
That is fair. How much do you miss Game of Thrones? You know what? Why were you always on my case about Game of Thrones? No, we weren't.
Do you miss it? Do you miss it? I binge watched it. So, yeah, I do.
Although it was so bad the last season. No, not really.
Yeah, actually, I don't miss it. I don't miss it.
The last season was not my favorite, so I don't miss that. It was bad enough to make you just cut the cord completely and be like, I don't want any more of this.
Yes, I have cut the Game of Thrones cord completely. But if they do make a remake of it, I'll be into it.
If they redo the last season. They should actually consider doing that.
Just pretend this one never happened. Like the Hulk.
There was like a shitty Hulk that was going to come out and they're like we're going to just do this entirely new actors I would do that I would watch the last season again yeah wait I let's go back to your Sunday schedule I'm actually curious about this what time do you get into the studio on Sundays well uh due to the uh COVID normally prior to pre-pandemic I would get in around 4 30 in the morning but now it's just about 20 minutes before air you come sit you come all dressed ready to go you're made up by yourself you know just get out there and do it so it's kind of different this time around do you feel mad first two weeks we didn't first two weeks we didn't do it in person we were all at home and it kind of sucked do it that way. And I'm glad that we were able to fix that.
Do you feel bad making a stylist hover around you within your six-foot bubble for 20 minutes every 10 days, knowing that there's a deadly contagion going around the world? Well, you know what? It's interesting because we wear contact tracers. We have to wear one around us, around, you know, in a lanyard, but we have to take it off during the show.
And I put it in my pocket and I told everybody when I got on the set that I had been waiting my entire 25 year career to wear something that tells everybody that they can't come near me. And this is now an actual device that allows me to have this sort of highfalutin status over them.
And I use that particular word over. Um, so, um, so it's kind of, you know, uh, it's kind of something that I've been looking for for quite some time.
Unfortunately, it is a pandemic that's brought it about, but now people have to stay away from me. They have to stay six feet away from me.
And I don't, I don't come across, um, uh, anything other than just being concerned for their welfare but i'm i'm pleased that they can't come near me unless they ask to approach yeah it's gonna be like in 10 years from now you're still gonna be wearing your contract tracing yeah and just be like exactly yeah why don't you stay away you're just never gonna get the vaccine and be like i don't think there's any i don't think there's right. There's no statute of limitation on the contact tracer.
This is something that I've been waiting for my entire career. And I did in fact walk on the set and let everyone know it.
So yes, that happened. Wait, so how long do you watch the games in the studio afterwards? No, we used, you know, we're not, I'm not doing it.
I go right home and that's always an interesting situation. I've got a 12 year old and nine year old and seven year old at home um and they're not all into fantasy football a couple of them are so we're i watch at home right now trying to maintain everything but normally we would stick around i would stick around at the studio and do that but that's another covid situation going on there who chooses your outfits on the uh on the set of thursday Night Football when it gets to be really cold outside?

I'm talking like frigid.

You're wearing the big black trench coat

usually. You always have very nice gloves

on as well. I've always admired that

part about your game. When it's cold outside,

you're usually not wearing a hat and you

usually don't seem cold.

I don't want to nitpick with you, but I haven't been on Thursday

Night Football for about five years.

That seems like it's nitpicking.

I don't

really want to

you know,

you know i mean i don't mean you know i don't i don't really want to you know be too detail oriented uh which you know pft had put his dog down yesterday if you want to be a dick about it yeah come on man that's fucked up rich god damn it dude you had ready and ready to fire away. I didn't know if PFT was ready to start bringing that out,

but I'll bring it out for him.

Sorry for trying to give you a compliment on your style, Rich.

No, and I appreciate that.

I didn't mean to.

No, I did, actually.

So what are you saying about how stylish I used to look on a set of Thursday Night Football?

Okay, it might not be Thursday Night Football,

but whenever you're around a game,

I assume that you still find yourself on a football field sometimes with cameras pointing at you, correct? Right. Well, actually, one year when I was in Chicago, I was totally unprepared for how cold it was going to be.
I think it was Bears, Saints, and to date it, I think Kyle Orton was the quarterback on that Thursday night

and it was frigging freezing. It was really cold and I was not prepared for it.
So Dion said, I will take you hat shopping. Um, and we went, um, to the water tower, I believe, and went and shopped.
I wound up spending more money on a hat than I've ever spent on anything ever

and it was like

a

a I wound up spending more money on a hat than I've ever spent on anything ever. And it was like, um, uh, a, a hat that when I wore it on the air, it wasn't like a winter hat.
It was a fedora. Yes.
That I was asking Dion, like, look, I know I, you want to upgrade my style, but I don't know how functional this is for, for somebody who needs help with the, with the heat on top of my head. I don't know how funky, how he says, don't worry, it will be functional.
I went on the air and the number of texts I got from friends asking me if I was, you know, why did I go with the inspector gadget look or crossing or it was bad news. Um, It's the only time i've ever worn that hat um but you can ask dion about all that okay dion but i do wear i do still wear the gucci shoes that he got me about 10 years ago so i still wear those shoes yeah has he i was about to say when is he going to get you something i think if we can land another recruit for him We've only landed one so far.
We've got his son. We've got his son to commit.
We're thinking about Arch Manning. I'm pretty sure if we get Arch Manning, then he might get us some Gucci.
Like a Gucci belt. Arch Manning does, yes, he does have that Jacksonville State connection.
Yeah. For sure.
Big question. It's Sophie's Choice time.
Gun to your head. Okay.
Siciliano or Scott Hansen? Wow. Great question.
Wow. This is tough.
Gun to your head. I mean, the answer's easy, but it's not tough.
Well, I'm going to have a big head. No, I know that.
I'm taking PFT's gun and shooting Siciliano. Oh my gosh.
Who do I have to

tell? I'll go Siciliano.

You're dead.

Oh, shit.

Hang on.

What happened?

We actually unplugged.

If I move at all...

If I move at all over here, we have cords everywhere.

That was God trying to censor you because

he knows that was the wrong answer.

That's a terrible choice. That's a terrible choice by you.
Why is that? Hanson is far superior. Why would you say that? Because Hanson's terrific at his job.
I have two eyes, two ears, and a brain. I like Siciliano.
Big Cat has a grudge against him because he fucked up one of the calls on Big Cat's bet. One? Many.
He doesn't respect gambling. He will go to a game and be like here's a big play and then the play will come back or like and he knows he's almost playing tricks on us he doesn't understand the emotional uh you know how high the emotions are during a witching hour trying to get scott hansen does oh yeah scott hansen is.
Scott Hansen is respectful. He is.
He's respectful. He's an animal.
He's outstanding at what he does. I mean, I just, you know, I feel like I'm going to see Siciliano first, so I just figured I'd take him.
He's got that Italian connection, too. Don't want to take any chances.
Tell him I said, go fuck yourself, Siciliano. Don't say that.
Let me write that down. Hold on a second.
I got a pen right here. Okay, sure.
I got a real question for you. So I saw you had a great – So what have these questions been? What have these questions been? They've been all fake.
We actually haven't even started the interview. Ready? Three, two, one, go.
That's all right. You had a great tribute to Alex Trebek, and it seemed like you were a big fan of Jeopardy.
And it's going to be very hard.

I don't know how they're going to go on with Jeopardy because he was so perfect for the job. But have you thought about maybe – you own enough sweaters.
You own enough sweaters. Is that the metric that you measure about whether someone's worthy of it? The two metrics are – and I was never a huge Jeopardy fan, but I did love Alex Trebek.
the metrics are sweaters

and someone that I know

will take the job that I can just openly hate so that I don't have to worry about being like, oh, they might be on par with Alex Trebek. So you check both those boxes.
So I check both the boxes to be the next host of Jeopardy. Correct.
That's what you're saying. In my estimation.
All right. Are you in touch with the people who run Jeopardy? I'm not.
In any way, shape, or form. We can get it going.
We can get the rumor going. It's you or Dan Patrick.
That's what I heard. I was going to say Keith Olbermann.
Keith Olbermann's also up there. Bring back the mustache.
He seems like he's pretty level-headed these days. Part of me feels like I was put on the planet to give away cash and prizes.
Yeah. And I do game shows I can't enough of i love them i love every last game show i can't get enough of my kids watch the game show network and we watch jeopardy all the time in the house so can you give us so when i did when i did when i did hear his passing you know it was like 20 minutes left in the show um and i appreciate you know the producers at uh game day morning i get I'm like, we've got to say something.
So I just jotted a few notes down and threw something out there. Can you give a sound check real quick of you just say the word genre.
Say the word what? Genre. G-E-N-R-E.
Yeah, try it again. Genre.
Genre. Did I pass that audition? It should be a little bit more French-Canadian.
What is genre? Genre. Alex was the king of that.
He was the king of that and also when people would miss sports-related questions. The look of condescending.
He would condescendingly glance at them but also joke around and joke around and make it okay that they're being nerds i don't think that we can find anybody that can strike that exact balance it's very difficult when somebody does not get uh who is tom landry based on this uh this dallas cowboys coach was known for wearing a fedora you know like that that that is difficult to not frown down on somebody who does not get that i i did uh i was a contestant on sports jeopardy speaking of dan he was the host and i went up against uh kim jones and lavar arrington and i crushed them i squashed i just absolutely killed it and the thing was it was you know when the time actually buzzing in because if you're too early they do lock you out i did not know that about about jeopardy so you know just a just something for you guys to take with you from this conversation all right so we'll get the rumor mill going that you know okay rich is you know someone someone who's in maybe the talks we've heard we've heard it be we've heard it discussed on podcasts like pardon my take which we just did uh we're news makers so yeah let's just well i mean you're influencers yeah that there is no doubt that i actually would this test the depths of your influence if pardon my take does in fact influence the decision making process whenever that might take place i think it actually in jeopard. It might hurt you because they had a category not too long ago that I'm pretty sure was sports podcasts, and we weren't one of the questions.
Yeah. So I think that it would actually hurt you getting the endorsement from us.
Again, I don't mean a nitpick. It's one of the answers, PFT.
Oh, he's ready for us. That was a test.
See, that's what I'm saying. That was a test, Rich.
Rich, my dog just fucking died, all right? How many times are you going to do this to me God damn it By the way it's a funny bit I don't mean to laugh Because it's awful And I'm so sorry I appreciate that That was it I have no more questions Do you? Anything we missed? Oh, geez. Yeah.
What happened to you getting back to me about coming on my show? What happened to that one? You're like, you know, I'm in a pandemic. I got this.
I got that. I'll let you know.
Am I on a pain-o-mind barstool list? Is that what it is? Have I been blacklisted in any way, shape, or form? I think I told you, but your show is on during – I'm on radio. Right.
Is that still the case every day? Yeah, every day. Every possible day.
I do radio every single day, but I'll do it. Yeah, I think we – I mean, we should do a home and home again.
Yeah, we absolutely should. I mean, we absolutely should.
The three of us. Yes.
You know, it's funny. I don't what what happens you know i monitor our show youtube feed um on a daily basis for various reasons you're a narcissist mostly well well no i'm a businessman um so uh these videos that we have in our library i have no idea why they pop like out of the blue tens of thousands of views will just come out of nowhere and sometimes it is based on what's going on in the sports world like when Tua started videos of Tua that we had at the Super Bowl started popping and we see that out of the blue I don't know if you guys talked about it or not but out of the about not about that this pop but it might have been a subject of conversation on your show um out of the blue is when you guys were here i guess a couple summers ago and you big cat told the story about being followed and unfollowed by anna kendrick yes and i don't that that about two months ago just exploded in the number of people that watched it.
I have no idea. Did anything happen with you and Anna Kendrick again? No.
Or what? We actually went to a dinner that she was at. That was cool.
She sat very far away from me. So there's nothing to report on that front at all? No.
I wish there was. Is that a couple months ago? I'll DM her.
I'll DM her right now. just be like what's up yeah we're popping you know what we should do we're going by on rich eisen's youtube get her to unfollow you again that way we can make more content out of her unfollowing to say so she is following you now correct she is following me now yes she's back to following me zach efron hooked us up yeah okay and so that's cool don't mean to get involved.
No, we're good. Yeah.
No, no, we're good. But I'll get to the bottom of that.
I'll get to the bottom of that. Okay.
Yeah. And PFT, who's the one that follows you, the one that you're most excited about? Probably Jeb Bush.
Jeb Bush has got to be. Low T.
Yeah. Big time interaction guy.
Yeah. Smashes.
He doesn't smash the heart He smashes the respect button on my posts How about that Okay I did not Jeb Bush follows you Jeb Bush and Pete Buttigieg So two guys that will never be president follow me You play both sides of the aisle You play it right down the middle You're like aisle. You play it right down the middle.
I try. You're like Purple America.
You're like a personified of Purple America. Oh, and Mia Khalifa.
Yeah. You're familiar with her work, I'm sure.
Yes, you are. I am definitely drawing a blank.
Yeah, you are now. He's winking.
Rich Eisen's winking right now. You're shooting blanks.
The final question is brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage America's Crazy Good Mortgage Company. Go to ccmlens.com slash take to learn more about your future home, buying experience, or refinancing needs, equal housing opportunity.
Rich, so that's it. Did you have anything else? Did you have maybe like your – No, I don't.
This is great. You're, you know, the prodigal son goes back to a campus and is going to change the history of a college football team that has been overrated for 50 years even because you beat the fucking YMCA of Detroit back in 1904 and you think that those wins matter? Anything like that? This is your parting shot.
This is your parting. This is the parting shot.
You waited until the last second, like literally out the door and the Jewish goodbye is Jim Harbaugh. I got it.
I saw you talk about it. I saw you talk after the Indiana game.
And I actually, you're just defeated. You're a defeated human being.
You're no longer like it's not even fun anymore because the Michigan smarm and like we matter and Michigan's important. We do matter.
It's wiped off of you. No, but you don't even believe it.
You don't believe it. We do matter.
We do matter. What time is the game on on Saturday night? It's 7.30.
Yeah. How many Wisconsin games played at 7.30 at night usually? They play a ton of them.
On ABC. How many times has Michigan ever been to Indianapolis? When? All the time.
Look, you are right michigan has not performed in that way at all that we had hoped with harbaugh but the relevance is absolutely still there that's even saturday that's even saturday you know what terrible and be like but we're relevant fame is is that you are making big cats team which is good yeah which has been good for a bigger platform because they get to kick your ass yeah when more people are watching tv football games go to big 10 championships like those things happen right we we don't i just don't beat my chest over any i have nothing to beat my chest over right now and the fact that you beat your chest over at least we go to ind Indianapolis to lose and wind up in the Rose Bowl. Hold on.

We've won three Big Ten championships.

You've never even sniffed Indianapolis. You waved to it as you were going to Bloomington.
PFT knows I do not beat my chest as a Wisconsin badger. He knows his place pretty well.
I am very much secure with my place. The problem is Michigan fans think that they are on the level of alabama clemson ohio state no no no no lsu but you're not you're not okay i do not sit here and say that that that my school is on par with alabama we don't we're not competing for national championships right now we certainly hope that we would with jim in the back of your, though, deep down in places you don't want to talk about,

you think like, hey, we're a blue blood like these guys.

We are a blue blood.

The number of people that keep wanting to watch us, even though we speak.

This is so sad.

TV ratings.

Clay Travis over here talking about TV ratings.

You're Clay explaining.

Trust me, I'd rather talk about championships. I'd rather.
I'd rather talk about championships. I'd rather talk about beating Wisconsin and beating Ohio State and beating Michigan State.
I'd rather do that. Of course I would.
I'm not lying on that front. Here's how you fight Big Cat on this.
You just say, at least Michigan has handled the coronavirus pandemic admirably and contained it and done all the right things to keep our faculty safe, our alumni safe, and all the people associated with the program safe. Whereas Wisconsin has put people in danger.
You got to go anti-clay on that aspect, pro-clay on the ratings aspect, combine them together, and then I think that you'll really have a convincing argument.

Yes, I forgot to use a once-in-a-century pandemic to my benefit. I totally whiffed on that opportunity.

My bad.

You're right.

Do you think Jim Harbaugh, like,

he was one of the guys who really wanted to play this year.

Do you think he had watched a practice before he really wanted to play?

Oh, my God. And we love Jim Harbabaugh we actually genuinely do love jim harbaugh yeah we do we played in his golf tournament two years ago wait of course i want him to do well i don't want him to do well at michigan anymore because it's funny i want him i want him to go to the nfl and win a super bowl honestly yeah by the way you just went higher register.
We always say around these parts right here on this show

that you have to go higher register to say something

you don't really believe.

Like, hey, no, I really want him to do well.

I'm going to use that, Rich.

No, no, really.

Genuinely, I do want him to win a Super Bowl.

I don't want him.

I think it's very funny what's happening.

Now you brought it down to the serious register.

But hey, I just really think it's great. Do you think he watched a practice first? I wonder.
No, that's a real question. Do you think? Because he was like, let's go play, let's go play.
He should have been at the front lines of we got to worry about their health. Joe Milton's our quarterback.
I would love to. I don't know when you're posting this.
Friday, tomorrow. Oh, really? Just in time for the game.
Great. Yeah, it's 7.30.
Thank you, Michigan, for putting us on prime time. Rich, did your spidey senses go up at all when you realized that you were scheduling this interview the day before Wisconsin-Michigan? Let's see when Wisconsin's game against Iowa gets put on the air.
Let's see when that one happens. This is so sad.
Let's see when Wisconsin plays Ohio State. Oh, wait a minute.
You don't play Ohio State. This is so sad.
You're talking about the time of a kickoff as the last thing you have for Michigan football. Oh, my God.
You're bringing up whether Michigan is still relevant. That's what you're bringing up.
To laugh at. That's what you are bringing up.
You're bringing up the subject of relevance. So my response to that, I wish, was in terms of a win.
I don't have that. I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to sit here and say that we're awesome. We're going to come kick your ass.
I wouldn't even say such a thing. I'm actually in a lose-lose on Saturday night.
I fully realize it. time in my life wisconsin michigan game on the lose lose because if they lose you and dave are gonna are gonna you know shit down my throat and if they win you're gonna be like well we suck anyway welcome to being a michigan fan what the oh i've had that same feeling playing wisconsin for the last 30 years no you can't win even if you beat them.
What? The last 30 years? Oh, my God. Welcome.
The last 30 years has been a different history. Welcome to being a Michigan fan.
Everyone expects. I take it back.
The smarm is still there. The smarm is still there.
You can't lose that. That's the Michigan man way.
Oh, my God. That's it.
Welcome to being us. Welcome.
That game against the YMCA Detroit in 1908, that was a burn. They were good, though.
They were underrated. They taught people how to play football, and then they beat the shit out of them and claimed a national title.
Okay. Okay.
All right, Rich. Thank you.
This has been very fun. We'll chat again soon.
Yes, we'll chat again soon. If Wisconsin somehow loses on Saturday night, I broke my phone.
I just want to let you know I broke my phone. I broke it.
What do you mean? I dropped it on Sunday. So if Wisconsin loses, my phone is still broken.
Okay, got it. Understood.
But everyone do check out Rich's show every day on the cock. Streaming.
We're streaming. Streaming NFL Network game day in the morning on Sundays.
And also maybe the new host of Jeopardy. I don't know.
We're going to get that out on the stream. Put it out on the stream on the stool.
I appreciate it. Love it.
Thanks, Rich. Take it easy, guys.
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And now, here's Mr. Portnoy.
All right, we now welcome on our lawyer it is mr portnoy uh we have a very we have a big emergency he texted me this morning he said he's got a complaint fresh out out the oven ready to go didn't want to forget it so he had to call in and complain i love this we need this more often when you the complaints, we will take them right away instead of saving them up. So let's get into it.
What's going on? Okay. Uh, this was an all time.
Uh, I have, uh, an H one of these HB printers that also, you can send a fax, you can send a, uh, uh, uh, you, it's a copier and you can, uh, as I said, you can send a fax and you can also Zoom. Okay.
So it's got all these capabilities and believe it or not, I know how to use it. I've had it for about this one.
I've had, I want to say at least six, seven years. And I get a good amount of use out of it.
And also for some strange reason, and I don't, I've had it so long, I don't even, I don't ask questions. I have two networks.
I have the network, which is a network just for the, you know, for the regular internet type things. And I also, for some reason, had a separate network for this printer.

Okay?

Make a long story short.

We'll get right into it.

All of a sudden, yesterday, I think it was yesterday or the day before, the printer, as far as being a wireless printer, stopped working.

So, foolish kid that I am and silly goose, I thought I would call HB tech support. Let me tell you something.
I should know better at the age of 73. But the last time I needed to call tech support, I want to say four or five years ago.
And I did get to speak to a human being. So I think the time helped me.
Can't do that with HB anymore. They don't have any people.
I don't think that, you know, a human being. So I think at the time helped me.
Can't do that with HB anymore. They don't have any people real.
I don't think they're, you know, a huge company, they probably got five human beings working there. So it doesn't work.
And then of course, when I can't get through, I'm darling, text support, can't get to speak to anyone live, voicemails, the whole nine yards. so then, because I think I'm pretty savvy about how to complain, I stopped trying to call tech support.
I get the bright idea. You know what? I'm going to go and go into sales.
And sure enough, I get there much quicker. Somebody actually answers the phone in sales, says, hello, sales.
I don't know what they said. Next thing I know, i explained the problem and the fellow says to me all right i'm gonna find out what's going on hang on so 45 minutes later uh he you know he said and he also said to me don't you hang up talking to me so i hang on for about 45 minutes and when i'm on hold is none hold, none of this music business, it was just holding.
So of course, after 45 minutes, I say, he must have disconnected me. So I disconnect.
And I think I'll try it again, because I found how to get into this by calling sales. This time I get somebody else, a young lady, who I explained the situation to her.

And she says, look, I'm going to take care of you.

I'll get a hold of who we have to get a hold of.

And I noticed when I'm starting to talk to her, I hear what I think is a rooster.

Don't cry.

This is the truth.

What?

A rooster going, no, no, no, no, no.

And at first, I didn't want to say anything because I thought maybe I'd sound like a total fool. Finally, it kept going on.
She puts me on hold, and then the cue's coming back with, you know, the music and everything. Finally, I said to her, do you have a rooster there? And she says, yes.
And the rooster keeps going every time I talk to them.

Go, go, go, go, go.

This is you.

They have a rooster.

In the office.

So then she says, OK, I'm going to connect you to someone else that will be able to take care of this.

And the rooster is going crazy.

And then she does.

And I get back. She says, i've contacted somebody that can help you it's tech support then the tech support is back to a recording and in other words back to where i started from roughly an hour and 20 minutes maybe an hour and a half later and so finally, look, I'm never going to get through to them.
And I'm really this thing. The thing that killed me about this is I know that there's nothing wrong with the with the equipment.
It's just somehow I thought I need to get a password or something. But I know it's working.
But I'm really seriously think I'm going to have to go buy a new unit because I don't have the password that they're looking for.

The last resort, I started pressing every button that was available to press on this.

Yeah. And don't you think don't you think that fixed it?

Did it? Yes.

There you go. OK, problem solved.

I don't even know. In the end, if you ask me to repeat how I got this back working in, I have no idea.
You did it on your own. It's either that or just unplug it and plug it back in.
Those are the two best ways to fix them. I tried that.
I tried that early on in this process. That did no good.
I've got one complaint for your complaint, Mr. Portnoy, because I think we talked about this last time about you having these little backdoor hacks to get into customer service.
As a frequent flyer, someone who calls into many customer service lines, when you call in through the sales channel, that gets answered by a salesperson, and it negatively affects their commission and their paycheck when they pick up service calls, because that's another call that they take where they don't close a sale on well so you're taking money out of a uh hard-working hp uh employees pocket without you're kind of a communist and i'm not trying to get first of all that's capitalism i'm trying to get my freaking thing fixed i'm not really at that point concerned that somebody's going to lose $5, and they didn't have to have a rooster there. That was the thing that really threw me off.
I'm standing up for the rights of the workers, so I guess, yes, that does make me a communist. The rooster did.
That was unfair of them to throw a curveball like a live rooster on a call at you. I mean, would you immediately say to someone in that situation, you're a rooster there? I'm so self-conscious.
I didn't want to make a fool out of myself by saying, you have a rooster there. And she would have said, what are you, out of your mind? Yeah.
Hey, shut that cock up. I thought it was something on my phone.
Yeah. This is how Jeffrey Toobin got fired.
What's that? Nothing. Don't worry about it.
I have one more question for you. Okay, I had one as well.
About the printer situation. What are you, you said that you're a power user of your printer.
You use it all the time. What kind of stuff are you? No, I use it a good amount.
What are you printing up? Coupons? Huh? Map Quest? You going to Map Quest? No, no. First'll first of all i might be involved i still have a tiny little practice of law and occasionally i'll have a client and i want to for instance send them something uh to read or a rough draft or something that i'm that i and also the other thing I have, I have a very ineffectual Dell computer here.
All right. I don't use it very much anymore.
I use mostly the Apple products. Okay.
But this is a very small, a slow computer. The only thing I use it for, if I type out something from scratch and I want to send it to my client into their wireless system, I'll use this through the printer.
Okay? It's very complicated for you. Type out something from scratch, like you're making homemade, like you started with a blank document.
These are craft legal briefs, big cat. They're farm to table.
Yeah, I'll steal some legal briefs. Right.
And use them as my own. Got it.
I mean, you know. Wait, so and then you said, did you say on the fax machine in the printer, did you say you use it for faxing, printing and Zoom? No, I don't use it very much for faxing anymore because as you may know most people don't fax right and and what i i didn't say use it for zoom i said that you did you said absolutely did i say that i was wondering what that meant as well i was like whoa is he just talking into his printer no i i use it to uh to set to uh send out now you got me confused.
It's an iPod. No, no.
You listen to music. I use it to contact Roosters.
No. I use it as a copier, just as a regular old copier.
I use it to take things and wirelessly send it to someone. All right.
On a wireless network. Right.
All right. And what that may be is if something I see on the Internet that I want to send to somebody, that I'll take it from the Internet and send it to them wirelessly.
That's a crime. That's's a federal crime you can't take things from the internet and put

them out on paper

I don't care about that

oh badass

this is not

what I'm sending is private stuff

between people you're stealing from

the internet yeah I'm stealing from the internet

you seem like you would

maybe get a joke email like the

50th forward on a joke email and then you print it out and fax it to someone. I haven't.
No, that's not true. Okay.
You're like the fuck Jerry account for like the 70-year-old plus generation. You're fuck geriatric.
You're just taking it off the internet and sending it around. I don't do that very much, no.
What I'm saying is, look, I'm doing this right now with a particular client of mine that were involved in some kind of litigation. All right.
Here's an example. I might type something out, originally a document.
All right. I want him to see it, to prove, to see if it's okay with him if I send this out to someone, someone

involved in this case. All right.
But I want him to preview it. So I might have that document that I prepared on my desktop and I send it to him through the, I'll have it,

I'll

print it out, and I

will... I send it to him through the, through the, uh, I'll have it, uh, I'll print it out and I will use, I can, uh, you know, I'm drawing a blank here.
I got you. I got you.
It seems pretty important business. I got it.
I got it. Move her in a shaker.
So in conclusion, are we happy with HP's customer service? Like, was it, was it a good ending experience since you figured out how to fix the thing? No, no, listen. I prepared on my Twitter account this morning a thing that says about HP, the worst, and I put them in quotations, customer service, the worst in the human race.
Whoa. The scare quotes were very funny.
I got so many people that said yeah i that i was absolutely right they are the worst comparing it negatively in some cases saying have you tried comcast they're they're the worst and of course i can i can speak to that too because they're pretty bad we need i think yeah we need to create like a mr port noise yelp yeah you create your own personal yelp of just bad customer services so you can't it's no good things it's all bad we're doing positive vibes only though can you tell us what company has the best customer service listen i don't honestly think there's anybody worse than h street because you start from the proposition that it's impossible to get to speak to a human being. Right.
I mean, what could be worse than that? Well, in their defense, and I don't want to take their side because I ultimately have your side here, but let me play devil's advocate. I don't like the way you preface that.
Let me just say it. I got devil's advocate for a second.
In their defense, like four people still use printers and fax machines on the regular left on earth. So why would they have? Yeah, right.
So you're kind of like, I think it will just be you and a customer service person. You'll be left and you'll just be staring eye to eye as the world like ends.
You know something? That wouldn't bother me. I didn't even mind the rooster, to tell you the truth.
I thought it thought it was a little comic relief yeah as soon as i realized that it wasn't coming from my end somehow and she told me that she had a rooster which really really is kind of hard to understand but i accept it and uh you know uh all right well here's what we're gonna do do. People will listen to this.
We need to find a dedicated customer service rep from HP that can reach out, slide into our DMs. Listen, my experience with what you just said is this.
I will get a lot of emails from people who say, I work for HP. I can help you.
Words to that effect. It's always a scam.
It's never legitimate. It's always somebody that wants to.
Alright, wait. Okay, hold on.
Hold on. Only people who actually work for HP email Mr.
Portnoy. There you go.
You think that's sufficient? Yeah, I just did it. I cleared it up.
See if they have a rooster, then I'll know it's legit. Prove your rooster.
I mean, that was the thing that really prompted me to get a hold of you about this. Because that just stunned me.
It's fantastic. Yes.
That was, you got to understand, that whole situation occurred with a rooster after about an hour and 45 minutes of trying to resolve this. And here I am confronted with, and it's like, what kind of world is this?

That's beautiful.

I mean, you would expect in 1942,

maybe you would have been dealing with a rooster

and complain about something, but not now.

I just want to know if the rooster was in the office

or if it was somebody who was working from home

and they had like a backyard rooster. I'll tell you, I think the rooster might have been in the office.
But I'm guessing. Okay.
All right. Well, Mr.
Portnoy, thank you. This has been fantastic.
We need to do this. Whenever you have a complaint, fresh out of the oven, you text me and we'll get you on.
Because it's better right when you remember everything. You're right.
It just happened. Yesterday, I was so consumed with all of these issues.
And I want to tell you, too, that the last thing about this is where I have this printer is a very difficult place for me to deal with it as far as pressing buttons and everything like that. I just don't have enough room here to get it in a convenient place for me to get to it.
Okay? So you add that as a problem that I'm physically suffering while I'm doing this. And it doesn't make it any easier.
I'm going to get you a new printer. No, I don't want a new printer.

All right, well, the people who email you from HP will send you a new printer.

You just got to send them your credit card, your social security number, and they'll be set.

If you knew how I was yesterday when I knew that I was going to have to make this phone call, how I was dreading it.

Because I knew that it was not going to go well.

I knew that, and it didn't.

It didn't.

All right, well, Mr. Portnoy, thank you so much.

We'll talk soon.

Hopefully we see you soon.

It's been too long.

Yeah.

All right.

Come to the city.

All right.

Stay safe.

See you.

See you later.

That interview with Michael Portnoy, our lawyer,

was brought to you by our good friends over at NHTSA

and wanted to let you guys know it's clicker ticket season, big time. We'll be right back.
buckle up buckle up buckle up when you're home for the holidays if you're celebrating uh thanksgiving around your family if you're driving to friends houses you're driving around town please be sure to buckle up i actually got into a car accident back in 2010 one time seatbelt really helped me out on that one and it was just like a quarter mile from my house that's where most car accidents are so i'm not going very far is not an excuse i'm in a not an excuse. Don't kid yourself.
There's no such thing as a good excuse for not buckling up. If you've ever used any of those excuses, if you use excuses in general for not buckling up, you're putting yourself at risk of injury or you're putting yourself at risk of death.
In 2018, nearly 10,000 people were unbuckled when they were killed in crashes. That's 43% of people killed in motor vehicle crashes were not wearing seatbelts.
It's a very simple fix. No matter what kind of vehicle you drive, wearing your seatbelt is the best defense in a crash.
Even when you sit in the backseat, you still need to buckle up. It goes for when you're riding taxis and use ride-sharing services too.
Cops are going to be on the lookout. They're going to be writing tickets, so why take the risk? Seatbelts save lives.
Do the smart thing and buckle up every trip, day or night. There's nothing that's going to ruin your holiday season more than getting a needless $200 ticket for not wearing a seatbelt.
Save yourself the money. Maybe save your life.
Maybe save somebody else's life. Remind them to buckle up.
Click it or ticket. It's not about citations.
It's about saving lives save your life save somebody else's life buckle up people all right uh let's wrap up the show we got fire fest of the week so i think we'll forego our fire fest uh for the fire fest for all of us actually it's all of our fire fest but it's obviously more pfts its. It's been a tough couple days.
It's been a tough like last week or so. Leroy, obviously he passed away on Wednesday.
His health went downhill pretty quickly the last six or seven days and it was rough dealing with it but it's good that he's not suffering. He had a very, I don't want to say like comfortable but it was good that he was able to be with us when he passed.
And it's tough. I'm going to get emotional talking about it.
There's like no possible way that I can talk about without feeling it. But he was a gift, man.
He was a great dog. And he had a gift that he would brighten anyone's day that ever saw him.
He was known like as a around the neighborhood just from like store owners just people that lived around they they knew Leroy before they met Leroy because someone would be like oh you got to meet this new dog that just moved in uh and then they'd see him be like oh that must be Leroy uh store owners would have like special cuts of lunch meat that they'd set aside and bags with his name on Casey happened to walk by so they could get to come outside and say hi to him.

But he was like, he was honestly my best friend.

I went through so much with him.

My life really changed over the course of the last like 12 years.

And he was there like as a constant for everything that happened.

So obviously going to miss him.

But I want to say thank you very, very much.

Not only to like you guys, obviously for reaching out, but just like strangers in general people that might not have ever met leroy i got a ton of really nice messages yesterday and it honestly made me feel better knowing that he was able to brighten up people's days and that people cared about him even if they didn't meet him uh it really it made me feel like a little bit of brightness in a day that was like probably, it was probably the toughest thing that I've ever had to do. And dogs, bro.
Yeah, I'm going to miss him. I'm going to miss him a lot.
But we got to have 12 and a half years together, which is awesome. I know some of you who might not have dogs are like, you know, a big deal.
It's a dog. It's not like a family member.
It's not like it's a human who passed away. But like Leroy was, he was that close to me.
And so it's going to be tough. Got a lot of great memories with him.
And it was funny because so my next door neighbors, a nice older couple, I think they're probably in their 50s or 60s. Their names are Tom and Ann.
And I moved into this apartment about six months ago. And Tom and Ann have been great neighbors.
They've helped take Leroy out. If I haven't been home, they've been really super helpful and they're great people.
And they see, obviously, us walking around all the time. Yesterday, I got a text from them at like three o'clock, sending their condolences for Leroy.
And I was like, oh, I guess our downstairs doorman must have let them know that Leroy passed away. It's very nice that they're doing that.
And then Anne followed it up with a text being like, we just saw this trending on Twitter. And so we figured that Leroy died.
And I was like, what? Because they didn't know. They don't know anything about Barstool, what I do for a living.

They didn't know that Leroy was known by people.

They just checked.

A newsbreaker.

They didn't know about Leroy's side job.

And handicapper.

7-1 against the spread of games that started before 830 on Mondays.

But they just, like, checked Twitter, saw the trending topics,

and they're like, oh, my God, that's Leroy from right next door. And he's trending on Twitter because he passed away.
And, uh, that it honestly, like it, it made me laugh and it made me like happy in a, in a day that was pretty upset. And the reason that obviously they saw that he, he was turning on tours because so many of you reached out to say really nice things to me and, and wish,

you know,

your best about Leroy.

And that,

that meant a whole lot,

although it would have been very funny if I had,

if I had broken the news by tweeting out from Leroy's account,

getting one last scoop wrong,

just tweeting out,

I am alive.

And then,

and then having to correct,

do a material change on it.

But yeah,

Leroy was a great dog,

man. I'm going to miss him so much.
And I love him, and it's weird just walking around the apartment to last like 18 hours, 20 hours, and you go into a room and you just expect that he's going to be there laying down because he's always been there. Pretty much ever since I got out of college, he was always around.
And it it's gonna be tough but uh but we'll be okay but thank you very much to anyone i couldn't get back to all of you obviously but there there were so many people that reached out to say really nice things and that made me it made me happy on a day where i was you know feeling as bad as i have in a really long time so thank you a great dog a king and uh you just let us know when uh you want billy to buy you a new dog yeah because billy a couple months ago when leroy was going through some health stuff he texted me on the side and was like hey should we get pft a puppy and i was like you don't just get someone else a puppy dude so but when you're ready he will just find you a puppy maybe like breed uh a frog and a chicken together yeah billy is the island of dr marone. Marone in Billy's barn.
He's an animal dealer. He was so excited about the idea of being able to go find another animal.
I was like, why don't we just cool down for a minute? I'm not ready to be hurt just yet, Billy. I got to have some time to process this.
When you are, he'll get you one. Thank you.
He'll find you a dog. I do feel lucky, though, that I was able to have a dog in my life that I cared so much about that I feel like this bad that he's gone.
Obviously, it was always going to happen, but Leroy had a great life. I'd say he was probably a top three Mastiff in terms of just recognition.
He's probably the top three famous Mastiff. It's probably like Hercules from the Sandlot.
He never turned it on Twitter. That's what I was about to say, though.
Yeah, that's a fact. That's true.
It was just, that was just bizarre being like my dead dog is trending on Twitter. That's really strange, but not his first time either.
Like the Gronk news. Yeah, not his first time, but thank you guys for all your help in reaching out.
And Billy, I will get another animal eventually. I don't think that that time is just tell him which one Billy's like Billy's like the dude with the trench coat he opens it up and he's like what kind of animal you want I'm sure he's got a salamander or two hanging off his inside pocket what I really want to do I want to well it sucks that we're the United States about to get shut down again basically because I would like to take it this opportunity like not having Leroy as a responsibility to like get home to or worry about that whole thing and just like go, just like travel somewhere, do something.
Yeah, dude, you're like 26 now. I know, I'm like 26.
Yeah, you've gone backwards. I got no responsibilities anymore.
So maybe I can just like fly to Vegas for an afternoon. I don't know.
We'll figure it out. But thank you guys.
It meant a lot. And Leroy loved all you guys and anyone who ever came up to him and said hi on the street.
He was a very happy, happy dog and always very happy to meet all you strangers. So thank you to anyone that gave him a boop.
I gave him several boops on his way out for you guys. So he's in a better place now.
All right, let's finish up. We got hit the numbers.
Hit the number, Billy. 69.
Eight. 18.
Show me eight. I'm never picking the same number.
What's Leroy's favorite number? I don't even fucking care. What's Leroy's favorite number? Jesus, I don't know.
29. 85.
You liked 8. My animal fact for the day is all dogs go to heaven.
There you go, Billy. Thank you, Billy.
Oh, my God. 52.
Oh, fuck. I saw the 5.
I saw the five. I thought it was going to be Leroy's 29.

All dogs do go to heaven.

There you go, Billy. All right.
We'll see everyone. Enjoy the sports weekend.
We'll see everyone. Give your dog a little extra hug.
Please give him an extra treat. Yeah, and we'll see everyone on Monday.
Love you guys. Maybe I'll get a Ouija board and do Leroy's pick on one day.
There you go. Shine it away I'll be coming for your lover I'll be coming for your lover

Take on me

Take on me

Take on me

Take on me

Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
We'll be right back. Thank you.
Take on me

Take me on me