Pro Golfer Max Homa, Masters, Big Ben, And MNF

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have future masters champion Max Homa. Awesome, awesome interview with him.
He is getting ready to play in his first masters.

Speaker 1 We talk to him about Augusta, about golf etiquette, what it's like to be a pro.

Speaker 1 We officially, officially have a second golfer that this podcast is rooting for in Max. So it's Brooks one.

Speaker 3 The course two.

Speaker 1 The course two. No, let's make the course three.
Let's say if Brooks or Max can win, we will take that, and then the Course can beat everyone else. Okay.
So, Max is officially in the Circle of Trust.

Speaker 1 Awesome interview.

Speaker 1 We also have some wrap-up Monday Night Football. Big Ben has every injury in the world.
Tony LaRussa

Speaker 1 with an he's addicted to DUIs.

Speaker 3 A legend.

Speaker 1 He's addicted to DUIs. Hot Sea, Cool Throne, and Guys on Chicks.
And before we do all that part of my take is brought to you by the.

Speaker 4 When Cool, Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 3 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 1 Go download it right now. Use code Barstream.
You get $10 for free. $10 for the ASPCA.
Today is Wednesday, November 11th. Thank you for your service.

Speaker 3 Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Appreciate it. It's Veterans Day.

Speaker 3 11-11.

Speaker 1 I didn't think I was going to do that.

Speaker 3 11-11. That's when they stopped World War I, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, all quiet on the Western Front. That was big.
I read that book.

Speaker 3 Straight up. Read it.
My fun fact about World War I is at one point on Christmas, they stopped shooting at each other and played soccer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and exchanged loaves. I feel like the 1900 to like 1940, everything was baked in loaf.
Yeah. It's like, here's a loaf.

Speaker 3 It's a lot easier if it's a soup or if it's in a loaf.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like what are we having for dinner? We're having a loaf. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Of something. You think back in World War I, when they did that little armistice and played soccer, they were like, this isn't what war was back in my day.

Speaker 3 Like back in my day, we didn't shake hands with the other team. We didn't have a banana boat soccer game.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They were flopping left and right. All right, so

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a little detour to start the show. We got a lot to get to.
We have an awesome, awesome interview. Highly, highly recommend this interview.

Speaker 1 Max Homa, who is in Augusta, about to play in his first Masters, and he is now officially part of our golf crew. We have just two guys we're rooting for.
It's him and Brooks. That's it.
No one else.

Speaker 1 Ricky. No.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we like Ricky. He was on the show, but we're not rooting for him.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for Ricky.

Speaker 5 Okay. He's in my face.

Speaker 1 You're also not rooting for Brooks. I bet on Brooks.

Speaker 3 Everybody that comes on.

Speaker 1 I know. That's why I root for Ricky.
You guys give him no love. Give him no love as a guest of the show.

Speaker 3 Ricky had a cameo on our show four years ago. And we like Ricky, but he appeared for maybe five minutes.
That's probably my take.

Speaker 3 And you're rooting for him over the guy we just interviewed and our good friend Brooks.

Speaker 1 I said today.

Speaker 5 Max, Brooks, Ricky, but Ricky's in the car.

Speaker 1 Oh, Max ahead of Brooks. Yeah.
Wow. I said today.
I know Max better. I said today

Speaker 1 Brooks will call in with his green jacket on on Sunday night and Hank, his eyes almost fell out of his head. That's how hard he rolled his eyes.

Speaker 1 I had to go pick, scoop up his eyeballs, and put him back in his skull. Stop the count.
That's fine. He's like, oh, he's injured.

Speaker 5 He's injured. Stop the count.

Speaker 1 All right, let's clean up some football.

Speaker 1 Hank, the Patriots.

Speaker 5 Playoff bound. Playoff bound.

Speaker 3 They expanded the playoffs.

Speaker 3 So it's, what, 16 teams? Yep, the Bears.

Speaker 3 So Bears are back. They're not going to recede, which I was kind of hoping that they would.
Yeah. But they decided not to.
I imagine that the four owners of NFC East teams were like, no,

Speaker 3 we'll expand, but we got to keep that home game.

Speaker 1 Wait, does that mean there would be no buy?

Speaker 3 Interesting.

Speaker 1 You'd have to assume there wouldn't be, because there's an even number of teams now.

Speaker 3 Or two buys. Or two buys.
Two buys. Two? I think it'd probably be two buys.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that changes everything. Because the one buy with seven teams is like,

Speaker 1 that's everything. Like, I think the Chiefs are way better than the Steelers.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs now, at this point, looking through, like, I was trying to,

Speaker 1 after, like, a week of football and a Sunday of football, usually on Monday, I kind of try to, like, do an assessment, assessment, you know, tell the truth Monday.

Speaker 1 And I've come to the conclusion that it's the Chiefs and everyone else.

Speaker 1 Like every other team, and unfortunately, I love the Steelers, but every other team has at least one flaw where you're like, I don't know, I don't really trust this. And then the Chiefs don't.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I, yeah, the Chiefs and everyone else. But Hank, back to your Patriots.
Won the game. Joe Flacco ripped that ass apart.
He was elite last night.

Speaker 1 Including his interception, which was also very Joe Flacco-esque. Perfect spiral, just too deep, like almost throwing it to the defender.

Speaker 3 I actually think that Joe Flacco played so well on a national time slot that he might get, he's going to get a contract from somewhere.

Speaker 3 Like, John Elway might just black out and forget that he already brought him in. Yeah, no.
There we go, and bring him back in for 30 million Guardian.

Speaker 1 I did make that joke in the first quarter. I was like, Joe Flacco, if he throws one more touchdown, Ryan Pace will absolutely sign him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so, I mean, if I were to just handicap it, I'd say the Bears would probably be like a top three team that would go for Joe Flacco right now.

Speaker 1 So, Hank, your Patriots. Are they bad or are they

Speaker 1 good?

Speaker 1 Tough question.

Speaker 1 They're good. The Patriots are good.
They should have beat the Bills.

Speaker 5 They should have beat the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 They could have beat the Chiefs.

Speaker 5 Cam Newman was out with Corona, and they still almost won that game, kind of.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to go on a run. You think they should have beat the Bills? They have to be a good one.
I think they're going to beat the Ravens.

Speaker 5 I think they're going to beat the Ravens.

Speaker 1 And then everyone's going to flip.

Speaker 5 You guys are going to be on the show. Well, well, you know, they show they have a good defense, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm just going to be sitting here like I said this the whole time.

Speaker 3 When you say things like they're going to beat the Ravens, do you just say that because it gives you that hit of dopamine right afterwards where you're like, yeah, that feels, man, that's going to feel good if that happens.

Speaker 3 Or do you say that because you actually believe it?

Speaker 1 I actually believe it. If Stephon Gilmore comes back, I mean, that defense looked bad last night.
Joe Flacco did have his way. Also, Cam Newton's in the spot where it's either a completion or he gets

Speaker 1 weird.

Speaker 6 And he also,

Speaker 1 we've joked about Carson Wentz like sticking in the pocket until he's basically being sacked. Cam Newton,

Speaker 1 he'll have like, there's no blind side. Everything's a blind side for him.
He had that one time where a guy came right in his face and he just no pocket presence whatsoever.

Speaker 1 But he did make enough plays. And you have Brandon Whedon as a kicker, who Nick Folk looks exactly like Brandon Whedon.
And the Patriots, that would have been embarrassing to lose to the Jets.

Speaker 1 Look, the rest of the year, like... Belichick will always get that respect where you're like, yeah, maybe they could do it.
Maybe they could put a run together.

Speaker 3 My brain started going right right into the, you know, the Galaxy Brain memes. I was like, big brain, Flacco is so good that the Jets are going to win tonight.

Speaker 3 Then it was like slightly bigger brain shooting the lasers out. Flacco's going to lose, but look really good so the Jets can get Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 3 And then the Galaxy brain was Belichick is going to beat the Jets and humiliate them at the last second so that Trevor Lawrence is more likely to turn down being drafted by the Jets.

Speaker 3 And that's how they're going to keep him out of the division. There was a lot of that going on last night.

Speaker 3 Like Field Yates tweeted out a Photoshop of Trevor Lawrence in a a Jacksonville Jaguars jersey.

Speaker 3 Which I like to imagine Field sitting at home on his computer, making his own Photoshop during the game, and then firing it off. And just crushing it.
I absolutely nailed this.

Speaker 1 I did have the thought when the Patriots were down like 10 in the fourth quarter, maybe it was the fourth quarter.

Speaker 1 If they had lost that game and the Jets had two or a win, and then you get to week 17, let's throw, let's say the Jaguars get a win or two more. So it came down to it.

Speaker 1 In week 17, the loser of that game gets Trevor Trevor Lawrence. Would it work that Bill Belichick being the greatest coach of all time means he can also be the greatest tanker of all time in a game?

Speaker 1 Like, would he be able to out-coach himself to the point of losing no matter what?

Speaker 3 Well, there are a couple of things that aren't that much more.

Speaker 1 These are very stupid thoughts you have when you watch an 0-8 team play a 2-5 team on night football.

Speaker 3 I think just using Adam Gace's pure brain, that is the ultimate tanking. I don't think you can even out-tank him if you're trying to out-tank him.

Speaker 1 No, but see, I think Belichick played.

Speaker 3 No, because Gace will do something like put 12 guys on the field by accident.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then we would look back and they would do like NFL films on Belichick's week 17 game against the Jets and how he art, how he, how he, you know, how he, like, the big Belichick thing is he always takes away your best option, which is easier said than done.

Speaker 1 He, like, was able to unleash their best option.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gore ran for 300 yards.

Speaker 3 It's like the reverse Mo Lewis, when Mo Lewis knocked Drew Bledsoe out, right? And then they lucked into Tom Brady. This could be the start of another entire series of championship DVDs.

Speaker 1 So a decent game.

Speaker 1 It was exciting. You know, it doesn't really have big-time ramifications other than the Jets continue to lose.

Speaker 1 I do think the Jets are in a weird spot now where they put together a couple games, even the first half against the Chiefs and then the Bills game where they only lost by eight.

Speaker 1 The Jets don't feel like an 0-16 team.

Speaker 3 No, they're going to win a game.

Speaker 1 They feel like you can tell when you see an 0-16 team and you're like, there's just no chance. The Jets feel just a little bit, literally one game better than 0-16.

Speaker 3 The Jets very much could have won that game. There were a couple passes like Flacco hit Pyramid and Stride on one.

Speaker 3 They look good enough to be a competitive team. They looked like, I don't know, 4-12 team last night, which is...

Speaker 1 That's a lot.

Speaker 3 Last night, if they played the way that they played on Monday night,

Speaker 3 every other game this season, they would go 4-12. Now they only have, what, six games left?

Speaker 1 Seven games left?

Speaker 1 They're 0-9.

Speaker 3 0-9. Seven games left.
So

Speaker 3 that's pretty tough. They're going to win.

Speaker 1 Well, everything's tough when you're 0-9.

Speaker 3 One game. game.
They're going to win a game.

Speaker 1 Bold predicts Browns, week 16. That could easily be a win.

Speaker 8 Chargers this week. Chargers have been.

Speaker 3 Oh, the Chargers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is weird looking at the schedule and having to.

Speaker 3 You're losing to the Jets would be the ultimate. That's like the feather in the cap of Chargers' heartbreaking losses.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's weird looking at an NFL schedule now and having to retrain your brain that the Dolphins aren't bad.
Because you see it and you're like, oh, that's a win.

Speaker 1 You're like, wait, no, it's not anymore. The Dolphins are actually good.

Speaker 1 All right. Other NFL news.
Big Ben has, he doesn't have the Coco. He has every injury in the world.
So we've had quite the Big Ben week. His walking boot came back out on Sunday.

Speaker 1 And then he had In Rap Board tweeted yesterday, Ben Rothsberger sustained injuries to both knees on Sunday, but after tests today, there is cautious optimism that it'll be healthy enough to play versus the Bengals.

Speaker 1 While both knees got trapped, his feet not being stuck in the turf saved him from major injury.

Speaker 1 I don't know how he tweeted this with a straight face because he's almost telling on himself like he's not hurt.

Speaker 1 But he's saying that he's hurt. Both knees.

Speaker 3 Like we broke down the film on Sunday Night's Show, like it was his right knee that got hurt. Right.
And then he started grabbing his left knee.

Speaker 3 And then Big Ben probably went back, watched that play over. I like to imagine that if Big Ben ever takes a hard hit.
When he's doing film study, he just watches those on replay.

Speaker 3 And then he convinces himself, like, yeah, he does like a doctor, a pro football doc on himself. Right.
And he's like, yeah, you see how my right knee got caught under there?

Speaker 3 That might be a strained MCL. My left leg, that's a PCL, I'm pretty sure.
So I'm going to get a precautionary MRI just to be safe.

Speaker 1 And he is, Big Ben essentially now is like

Speaker 1 an elementary school kid who just wants to go home for the day. Because so he's got two knees.
And then he was put in the COVID protocol. And everyone's like, uh-oh.
Big Ben's got the Coco.

Speaker 1 Well, no, we got a clarification. Adam Schapster tweeted, to be clear, Steelers QB Ben Rothsberger has tested negative and was placed in the reserve COVID list for close contacts per source.

Speaker 1 So Ben, he really is just throwing as many things at the wall to be like the Ben Warrior thing. Oh, yeah.
He's like, oh, I'll put me in the protocol. My knees hurt.
My ass hurts. My head hurts.

Speaker 3 He's a hypochondriac.

Speaker 1 I want to go home. Is that what it is? Let me go home.
Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 3 he's web QB. He just spends all his time looking up the symptoms online.
He put himself on the COVID list because he probably watched the news and saw the infection rate.

Speaker 3 He's like, wow, I better be safe.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
This coronavirus thing is serious.

Speaker 3 Wait, I live in the United States and this is our infection rate. I better go on the list.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it's been a hilarious.
I mean, he's going to play. He'll probably play well because that's Ben.

Speaker 3 He also had a great quote after the game. I can't believe we didn't talk about this, but he said, the Cowboys might be America's team, but the Steelers are the world's team.
Nice.

Speaker 3 Because he saw the terrible towels in the fan. What about the Galaxy team? He's a globalist.
Ben is a globalist for universal healthcare, probably.

Speaker 3 Galaxy team? A galaxy team?

Speaker 1 Notre Dame.

Speaker 3 That's universe.

Speaker 1 Universe?

Speaker 3 Galaxy.

Speaker 1 Raiders.

Speaker 3 The black hole. Yankees.
The black hole at the center of the galaxy.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 1 Alright, and then the last thing we had before we got to Hot Seat Cool Throne is Tony LaRussa is addicted to driving drunk. He's addicted to it.
He's addicted to driving drunk.

Speaker 3 So let's not make fun of him.

Speaker 1 No, we won't make fun of him, but he drove drunk. The White Sox are getting dragged right now, which they should because Jerry Reinsorf's a fucking idiot.

Speaker 1 And so they hired him, I think, as a special assistant back in February, a day after he got his second DUI.

Speaker 1 And the hiring itself has been chastised. Then this came out.
I'm just, I'm not going to take any like

Speaker 1 Schadenfreude at this, but I will just state that I remember when White Sox fans made fun of Joe Madden for being quirky and having like a petting zoo at Wrigley, and your manager is addicted to DUIs.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 was he drunk when he signed the contract?

Speaker 1 I don't know what I mean.

Speaker 3 Because if he hired him the day after.

Speaker 1 No, probably unless he was unless he signed it behind the wheel of a car. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 that's the only time he drinks.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if he did an electronic signature on it, then that might be an issue. So it's his second DUI.

Speaker 1 The first one, by the way, remember he fell asleep at a stoplight and the cops had to wake him up.

Speaker 3 So that's safe. He wasn't driving.
He was parked while intoxicated, the old Jim Ursa. But the quote of him to the police officer was very funny.

Speaker 3 He said, I had one glass of wine while at dinner with my friends and then he asked the police officer, do you see my ring? And the police officer asked LaRusso what he's talking about.

Speaker 3 He said, I'm a Hall of Famer baseball person.

Speaker 3 I'm legit. I'm a Hall of Famer, brother.
You're trying to embarrass me.

Speaker 1 You're trying to embarrass me with that DUI thing.

Speaker 3 I'm a Hall of Famer baseball person.

Speaker 1 How could you possibly make me drink that wine and put me behind this steering wheel?

Speaker 3 Wait, I can't drive drunk. I'm a baseball manager.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm a Hall of Famer brother.

Speaker 3 That's one of the job qualifications to be a manager of a baseball team is to have at least one DUI under your belt. And he's got two.
He had the first one was in Jupiter, Florida.

Speaker 3 This one was in Scottsdale, Arizona. I feel like that's where nine, between those two cities, that makes up 95% of drunk driving in America.

Speaker 1 He's, yeah, I mean, I don't know what the White Sox do. Like I said, they were already getting kind of roasted for this hire to begin with.

Speaker 1 And then this comes out that they knew about this just incompetence, which I don't know, maybe White Sox, maybe you can get Jerry Reinsorf to sell the Bulls and the White Sox combined. Can you get

Speaker 1 all the MLB

Speaker 1 owners to push him out?

Speaker 3 Is it possible to get a DUI on the golf cart that you're driving out to the pitchers mound?

Speaker 1 I mean, Tony LaRooster will try. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's addicted to him. It's crazy.
They should have

Speaker 1 fucking crazy, man. It's such a bad thing to do.
Such a horrible thing, and he's addicted to it.

Speaker 3 The seventh inning stretch should be, you know, how in Atlanta they have the freeze that you have to race around the outfield?

Speaker 3 They should have, like, the freeze, and then Tony LaRussa in a golf cart driving along the warning track, and so you can beat each other.

Speaker 1 You got to chug the beer first. He's drunk, yeah.
You got to chug and then drive.

Speaker 3 It's a very intoxicated Tony LaRussa.

Speaker 1 God damn.

Speaker 3 Maybe he didn't have pink eye that one time. Maybe he was just hammered.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, he's got... He's got

Speaker 1 the look of a guy. He just has a DUI look now.
He's a DUI guy, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's part of his, like, I think that's probably like the his hobbies are baseball and DUIs.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much it at this point.

Speaker 1 Alright, let's should we do hot seat cool throne? Hot seat cool throne.

Speaker 1 Before we do that.

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Speaker 5 All right, Hank, hot seat cooler on my hot seat, I have a few. The first one is the 76ers.

Speaker 5 They released the ugliest, probably the worst jersey reveal of all time in the NBA yesterday they like had new city

Speaker 5 city themed jerseys that are just disgusting they got roasted all over the place

Speaker 5 yeah so they're on the hot seat i saw looking at the magic ones like they have like oranges orange yeah but they're gonna do orange pinstripes oh that's like homage to their old pinstripes which i think is dumb i don't i don't mind the philadelphia uniform that's not bad well it's got houses on it that says anything you need to know

Speaker 1 i was waiting for that i was waiting for that go fuck just because they don't have pinstripes on.

Speaker 3 No surprise that Hank got enough cargo pins. He's screaming himself over the jerseys that have

Speaker 1 stripes on them. No, PFT, these are objectively ugly uniforms.

Speaker 1 They're like...

Speaker 3 What are the houses on them?

Speaker 1 They're houses.

Speaker 3 They're row houses. That's Philly, baby.

Speaker 1 I understand that, but that's a terrible looking uniform.

Speaker 3 It's gross. Could be worse.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe not.
I think they made it as bad as possible.

Speaker 5 My other hot seat, although, I have a feeling this is what they wanted, but Esquire UK put up a tweet today.

Speaker 5 It was like a trending topic, and I think it was sponsored because that's the only reason it would have been up there. But it said, What to watch while you wait for Piggy Blinder Season 6?

Speaker 5 So I was like, Oh shit, Piggy Blinder Season 6 is coming out, lit. Then I clicked it, and it said the hit series won't be back on screens until 2022.

Speaker 1 I saw that, I had the exact same reaction. That's insane.
Fuck them. And there's almost like six episodes every time.

Speaker 3 That's like when they announced Notre Dame, Georgia, in 2032.

Speaker 1 Right. I know.
I'm not going to be alive then. Right.
No one is. That's That's so long.

Speaker 5 Or what to watch while you wait for? You have to watch like a million shows.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. What to watch while you wait for it? 5,000 hours of television.
You know what?

Speaker 3 They should just re-record the first several seasons of Peaky Blinders just with American actors or overdub them.

Speaker 3 We'd like just have Morgan Freeman do every voice so I can understand what they're saying.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it should be what to watch for. Actually, Jake, do this math for us and tweet this out tomorrow.
What to watch for before Peaky Blinders in 2022.

Speaker 1 How many times could you watch Peaky Blinders all the seasons if you watched two a night till 2022?

Speaker 1 Probably like, yeah, right, right. Just keep watching it.

Speaker 5 Peaky Folk and Blice. And then my cool throne is internet bullying.
So the AP top 25 came out, college basketball.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 Houston fans were so mad that they didn't get put in the top 25 that they bullied John Feinstein into giving up his vote in the college troops AP top 25.

Speaker 3 Well, I love it. They stopped his voting.
I love it.

Speaker 1 This has got to be this has got to be a nightmare for someone like Jake Marsh.

Speaker 5 Congratulations, Houston fans. You were the last straw.

Speaker 5 While I 100% believe the AP should be published, each voted ballot every week, I've decided after voting for 23 years, I no longer need the kind of abuse directed at me over a basketball.

Speaker 5 Understand, you aren't by any stress the first group of fans to behave like this. You just pushed me over the edge.

Speaker 5 I'm betting most of these, most of those who tweeted at me have never read much or any of my work, and that's fine. I simply don't want to or need to deal with any of this at this point in my life.

Speaker 3 We all know the polls are fake, anyways. But, Jake, would you do you want to just say

Speaker 8 this guy is a broadcaster for UMBC basketball?

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 8 No hard feelings. Vermont's rival.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 Wait. Okay.
UNBC, they're a Vermont's rival?

Speaker 1 One of them.

Speaker 3 I would say they're probably UVA's rival, right?

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 First and foremost.

Speaker 1 Can we get you to get that vote?

Speaker 3 Is there a spot? That would be awesome. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Let's get it.

Speaker 3 Would you accept it?

Speaker 1 Would you let it honor it?

Speaker 3 We will heckle the shit out of it. There will be a lot of abuse left.

Speaker 1 Like, we'll be so. You think John Feinstein got something bad?

Speaker 3 We will fuck you up. What's your top 10 right now?

Speaker 1 I got to do research. Do it.
No, off top, you guys go.

Speaker 8 Vermont.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 Unbiased my ass.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Tune in.

Speaker 1 Jake actually is hosting a college basketball podcast on

Speaker 1 Bristol Benchmom. Yes.
Yes. There we go.

Speaker 1 It would have been nice for you to promote it, Hank.

Speaker 1 It would have been nice for you to promote Jake's

Speaker 1 project.

Speaker 1 There we go. I retweeted it.
Oh, nice. Very nice.
Thank you. The passive promotion.
I like it. Is that it, hey? I liked your tweet.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I had another one, but.

Speaker 1 Oh, go, no, go. Please.

Speaker 5 Well, you kind of talked about it earlier with the Call of Duty, but they're, I don't know why, but all, like, PlayStation and Xbox release new consoles on the same day, and there's like 10 new consoles.

Speaker 5 Consoles are the cool thing. I like that.
PS5, Xbox S, Xbox, console O. Mike Welker, our t-shirt guy, called me and he was like, what's the difference between Xbox X and Xbox X?

Speaker 3 I was like, I have no one has a B in it.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Should I get one? Do I need to get one? I can't get one. No, you have a PC.
A PC.

Speaker 1 A PC does a CXT PC.

Speaker 1 I love it. Best of this.
All right, PFT, what's yours?

Speaker 3 My hot seat is going to be Jesus because John Rahm hit a shot that walked on water at Augusta during his practice round today. He skipped it three times,

Speaker 3 bounced up onto the green, rolled into the hole. That's like the first.
I know that there have been a couple guys that have done that at Augusta over the last 20 years.

Speaker 1 Vijay Singh did that.

Speaker 3 But this was cooler. This was a better shot than Vijay Singh.
It just looked awesome.

Speaker 1 Vijay Sings is pretty cool.

Speaker 3 I think ROMs hit the water more times than Vijay Sings did, but it just looks impossible. How is that possible? I found myself asking that very question.
I'm staying woke on it.

Speaker 3 I think that the Masters needs some more buzz around it because it's not being held at the traditional time. It's being held in November.
The Azaleas aren't in bloom.

Speaker 3 So I think that maybe there might be some monkey business afoot here. Somebody who's better at the internet than me,

Speaker 3 look at the footage and tell me if you think that it's doctored at all.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I'm watching VJ Sings right right now. Vijay Singh actually hit the water more.
It's just that we didn't have a better angle. Okay.
It was an incredible shot. I think they do this every year, right?

Speaker 1 They try to skip it across.

Speaker 1 But it was fucking cool. It reminded me of the old Power League commercials.
Yes. When they would do...
Which were fake,

Speaker 3 but we thought were real for a while.

Speaker 3 Michael Vick might have thrown that ball out of the stadium.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 LeBron, like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Was that real?

Speaker 3 I think it was.

Speaker 1 I think LeBron one was. Yeah.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 3 My other hot seat is tits. Tits are on the hot seat.

Speaker 3 The bird. The bird tits are going extinct because larvae are hatching before the tits' eggs hatch.
And so then the newborn tits don't have enough worms to eat. So they're going extinct.
Fear not.

Speaker 3 It's the bird tits.

Speaker 3 But I feel like we get stories like this three times a year of like a new cute species that's going extinct. Your bees were were dying.
Now every cute little bird is dying. Billy's very concerned.

Speaker 3 The great great tit. The great tits.

Speaker 3 The great tits.

Speaker 1 Drink too many IPAs.

Speaker 3 My cool throne is Derek Carr, because he's in the MVP race. Yeah.
Because his brother, David Carr, is voting for him for MVP. There we go.
He's the one person that gave Derek Carr a vote.

Speaker 3 And Russell Wilson doesn't get a vote. Russell Wilson has every other vote, I think, except for his brother.

Speaker 1 That's so fucked up. All right, my hot seat is Carson Wentz, because we're still litigating this.
Carson Wentz, Nick Foles.

Speaker 1 Brett Favre has weighed in and officially said that the Eagles should have kept Nick Foles.

Speaker 3 Okay, thank you. Thank you, Brett Favre.
Brett Favre.

Speaker 1 Did they pull him out of a rock? Like, where did they, how do you get a, how do you have this conversation now?

Speaker 3 Because Brett is down in Mississippi, and so he had to, like, mail a letter in. Unbelievable.
But yeah, it's funny. You know how we talked about Josh Allen and

Speaker 3 Russell Wilson being the two biggest height differentials. Brett Favre and Nick Foles probably biggest dick differential of all time in the NFL.
Very true.

Speaker 1 Very true. And then my cool drone was going to be the Bears because they're just going to keep letting everyone into the playoffs.
I actually think they might just do that.

Speaker 1 Just have everyone make the playoffs. That would be fun, right? If we just had a 32-team.

Speaker 3 You're the good luck Chuck in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Let's just do it. Let's start the playoffs in the middle of December.
Every team makes it. You wouldn't want to see the Jets play the Chiefs.
Yeah, right. Let's fucking do it.

Speaker 1 Have everyone make it, and then we'll go from there.

Speaker 3 You are going to make the playoffs, though.

Speaker 1 Probably not. That eighth spot.

Speaker 3 The Vikings are favorite. Kyle Sloeder.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kyle Sloeder, who, yeah. I mean, sure.

Speaker 3 Best preseason quarterback of all time. Yes.

Speaker 1 Preseason. Preseason.
Preseason. Billy.

Speaker 7 My hot seat is McDonald's. They are releasing a McPlant, and everyone's kind of mad that their newest product is a vegetarian alternative.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 fuck yeah. Everyone's like, what the fuck? What the fuck? A Mick, what the fuck.
Anyway, what do you got? Nice.

Speaker 5 Vegetarians, Billy.

Speaker 7 Never Trust a Man Made of Plant Proteins.

Speaker 3 Said that once. That's pretty good.

Speaker 7 And my Cool Throne is the Wizenator. Mike Tyson is on record saying that he used his baby's piss in a fake dick

Speaker 7 and was talking about the Wizenator, which to pass drug tests.

Speaker 1 That's next level.

Speaker 3 Using your baby's piss.

Speaker 3 Is there something that shows up in a screening that's like, hey, this piss belongs to like a nine-year-old? Like, hey, Mike, it looks like you could use a little bit more milk.

Speaker 7 Tested positive for formula.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Hey, hey, Mike, are you teething right now?

Speaker 3 What's going on here? You got it turns out you have colic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mike. Ontario Smith made the Wizenator famous.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 The Wizenator.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview. We got a great, great interview coming up with Max Holm over time.

Speaker 3 Have you ever had a friend, real quick, have you ever had a friend who is taking drug tests and he's going around asking everybody for clean piss?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 3 It's a very interesting situation to be in. Yeah, Hank has, definitely.

Speaker 1 I was asking you specifically for piss. Well, my piss.
I don't think my... My piss has been hot for

Speaker 1 20 years now.

Speaker 5 I had a friend who passed it. He was like, you know, he smoked all the time and he failed the drug test one day, chugged, he just chugged like two gallons of water and passed it the next day.

Speaker 3 I had a friend named Butt that used to ask everybody for their piss, like casually, just like random acquaintances that you'd bring over to his house. He was like very forward.

Speaker 3 He would actually get someone's piss and then store it himself and then microwave it before he was about to get piss tested. If he had a whole operation going, he's in jail.

Speaker 7 I have a funny story. So everyone's a piss jug guy in college because of dorms and whatnot walking in the bathroom.

Speaker 7 And basically there was a clean piss guy who always had jugs of piss. So, people would just, you know, go to his dorm and just take some from his jug.

Speaker 7 Clean piss guy. Did he sell it? No, he just had a bunch of piss jugs around because you know, everyone just pisses in jugs in college.

Speaker 3 Did he know that people were taking his piss, or were people shooting into his stealing?

Speaker 7 Like, someone asked him once, like, can I have piss? And he was like, Yeah, I got like a ton in my room.

Speaker 1 More than enough. Yeah, they're like, why not? Help me clean up my piss jugs.
One week old, two-week old.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of guys like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's we need to start doing that. Jake.
Yeah. Piss jugs are pushed.
Jake would be our piss guy. Jake's pissed.
Well, I piss a lot because I drink so much water. Right.

Speaker 5 Like a lot. And small bladder.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I'm looking at you and I'm sorry.
I'm seeing you dollar signs right now.

Speaker 1 In terms of like the hot piss in this room, I'd say most of us have hot piss, but you might be the one who gives us your piss.

Speaker 8 If you need me to piss, I'll piss. All right.

Speaker 1 Would you do us a piss piss? Is pissing out?

Speaker 1 Piss us.

Speaker 1 Are you allowed to say piss? I don't know. No, you're supposed to say piss on radio.

Speaker 3 You can't.

Speaker 1 No. Yes, you can.
No. No, you can't.
No, you can't say it on radio.

Speaker 3 You can't say bodily functions like that, Jake.

Speaker 1 You have to say urinate.

Speaker 5 Will you be swearing on your new podcast?

Speaker 3 Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 But you should say if that PISS certain amount of downloads, you'll say all the swears. Oh.

Speaker 5 Old marketing tricks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like when you tell everyone that you're going to get a cat, and everyone's like, cool.

Speaker 5 If 200,000

Speaker 5 contest entries on Thursday, BitCat vs. Frank the Tank, I'll get a cat.

Speaker 3 You know, it'd be great. Jake,

Speaker 3 if you get enough subscribers, like week one, you should be like, I'll read the George Carlin seven words you can't say on television

Speaker 1 verbatim. Yes, and you're just quoting.

Speaker 7 I can't. Jake, do you know what a piss dogs is?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Billy, do piss dogs right now. Show them.
No, it's

Speaker 1 do it. Piss dogs.

Speaker 1 Do it, Billy.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 Good job, Billy.

Speaker 1 Billy three years ago would have done that no question I just got somewhere to go after this oh really you got a date no I gotta go pick up my grandma's cat are you gonna ever get this I don't want I don't want to hear the multiple

Speaker 1 cat cat sitting oh by the way what I was trying to interview Billy I said on the broadcast yesterday and he told me to call him back later on Sunday because his chickens were on the loose yeah I mean I had to snip you just collecting I've always sort of hoarded I'm just I'm kind of hoarding now yeah I have a problem with

Speaker 8 Kiwi Herman's big adventure when he rescues the animal store when it was on fire. Did you guys see it?

Speaker 1 Yes. That's the picture, Billy.
That is.

Speaker 7 I forgot to snip their wings.

Speaker 3 Billy, I'm curious, what is your plan of action going to be for bringing your grandma's cat around all your chickens?

Speaker 1 And dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I know this cat.

Speaker 7 It's one of the barn kittens, if people remember.

Speaker 3 Right. So it's going to kill that chicken.
It knows everybody.

Speaker 1 Oh, it knows everyone? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Is it Carol Baskin or?

Speaker 7 It is actually Carol Baskin.

Speaker 1 That's the name of the cat?

Speaker 7 Yeah, when I rescued the barn kittens, I named them after Tiger Cain.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you know... Oh, okay.
these are the kittens that you tried to get the, what was the disease you tried to get?

Speaker 7 Toxoplasmosis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, got it. So it's the kind of home coming home.
Yeah, we should do an I'm coming home video for them.

Speaker 1 Uh, all right, before we get to Max, uh, I'm not going back to college to be your friend, I'm going so I can get Uber One for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 9 Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats.
With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.
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Speaker 9 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 3 And now, Max Homa.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guest. It is Max Homa.
He is a professional golfer. He's playing in the masters.
His first masters, correct? Your first masters this weekend.

Speaker 1 We're going to do a little master's preview. Also talk to him about golf etiquette.
He is, you probably follow him on Twitter because he's one of the funniest golfers on Twitter.

Speaker 3 It's a pretty low bar. It is a low bar.

Speaker 1 So, Max, thank you for joining us. Let's start with Masters.

Speaker 1 Have you been like awestruck yet?

Speaker 1 Give us the vibe of you rolling up,

Speaker 1 what the hell do they call that drive? Magnolia Lane. Was it

Speaker 1 everything that you thought it would be? Yeah, we're not huge golf guys. Was it everything you thought it'd be and more?

Speaker 10 Yeah, you know, I hate, i try not to be the corny uh cliche golfer but it is uh the drive is kind of nuts you hear about this place uh since you're a kid and uh you turn off a very uh normal road into like the most special golf place there is and uh it kind of shocks you um definitely uh definitely what i expected if not more uh it's just uh it's just kind of shocking honestly yeah is is this your first time actually playing at augusta i know it's your first masters but have you played around there before No, I was supposed to go the day it closed because of COVID, so that was cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I just remember the last time we were in Georgia. I think it was when we were going to like Bruce Arion's house.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We're driving through his neighborhood, and just every golf course that's in that area or general vicinity in Georgia kind of like has a master's-type Augusta feel to it, like the color of the grass, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 The herbery.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the herby. Yeah, the azaleas, all that stuff.

Speaker 3 Have you played a lot of golf in like rural Georgia before? Do you know the general feel of the landscape?

Speaker 10 Yeah, general feel. Yeah.
I actually played Augusta Country Club, which is nice, but it is the whole Augusta National thing. I guess the word national makes it like a hundred times more important.

Speaker 10 And Augusta Country Club backs up to Augusta National, and you can kind of see it if you climb a fence, which

Speaker 10 I guess I kind of did. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that, but I kind of climbed a fence so I could see it.
And

Speaker 10 it was raining where we were at Augusta Country Club, and it was brown and muddy like it should have been. And I looked over at Augusta National and it's like as green as you've ever seen grass.

Speaker 10 And I felt like there might be an actual like bubble dome over the golf course, which they might be able to do, honestly.

Speaker 10 So, yeah, I'm a little familiar with

Speaker 10 the herbery, with the foliage, but it's still

Speaker 10 a little more special in here.

Speaker 3 That's an actual grass is always greener situation.

Speaker 1 You don't get that literally.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Augusta is definitely, I mean, it's a bucket list for me.

Speaker 1 Everyone that I've, who I've ever talked to has been there, says that it far exceeds, it's, it's rated very, very high, the highest, and it still exceeds that.

Speaker 1 So it seems like it's just a magical place.

Speaker 1 Are you, you obviously want to make the cut because you want to make the cut your competitor, but is there a part of you that's like, I want to make the cut because I want to play four rounds here?

Speaker 10 Oh, 100%.

Speaker 10 You just want to.

Speaker 10 I don't know, you know, I don't know if you get like it, how to get, or I don't know if I'll be invited back, like just for fun. So you just want to be out here as long as you can.
It's kind of sad.

Speaker 10 I've played a lot of golf courses. You want to look at it.

Speaker 10 Obviously, I want to win, and that's the goal, but a small part of you just wants to just keep being allowed to drive up Magnolia Lane without being kicked out, you know?

Speaker 10 So it's like a very odd feeling. Most golf courses I could call later and be like, hey, you mind if I come back out and I'll lie about my name and then they'll let me in.

Speaker 10 And at that point, they're not going to kick me out. So it's like here, I think they'll figure it out.

Speaker 10 So you just want to get to play four days just so you could say you played Augusta for a whole week.

Speaker 1 Can you win? Like, is that a mean question? Can you win? Can you win this?

Speaker 10 That's a great question. Yes would be answer one.

Speaker 10 Yes, like literally, like technically, I think I can.

Speaker 10 But yeah, I mean, that's the goal.

Speaker 10 I'd love to.

Speaker 10 Somebody told me today that a rookie hasn't won or a first timer hasn't won since 1979. So that was a nice spark of confidence from whoever asked that question.
But yeah, I think I can.

Speaker 10 I'm playing well this week. So yeah, I guess, you know, you never know.

Speaker 1 Crazier Crazier things have happened. That's all I'm going to say.

Speaker 3 And if you don't make the cut, heaven forbid, we are rooting for you to make the cut, obviously. Are you going to be allowed to watch the final two rounds, like, as a spectator?

Speaker 10 That's a question I kind of thought of today, and I just thought if you asked that question, you might be like the weakest human ever.

Speaker 10 So I hope not to have to ask that question, but I'm optimistic.

Speaker 3 Okay, what's the food like there? We've always heard about like, you know, the dinner beforehand, the champions dinner, but like, what's the general food situation?

Speaker 10 like are they still making pimino cheeses for you guys or what yeah and they're free um they're just like sitting on this wall in the locker room there's just like dozens of them and i'm sure there's hundreds more behind it i had a hamburger today it's pretty much like the most plain normal looking hamburger and it was phenomenal uh i feel like i feel like it probably isn't as amazing as I think it is, but you're there and all these people in like these white coats are giving it to you and you just feel like it's like high, high class.

Speaker 10 You feel like you're at like a Roost Chris or something, just balling out. So, I feel like it might kind of add to the taste.

Speaker 1 What's the locker room like?

Speaker 1 It could be masters or just on the tour. Like, what, are you friends with different guys on tour? I'm always curious.
Like, do you, do guys hang out together? Do they, do they chit-chat?

Speaker 1 Do they have a good time, or is it just fierce competitor, like, no talking to anyone else? I'm here to step on everyone's throat.

Speaker 10 I think it's a lot like, you know, like an NBA locker room, just a lot of horsing around.

Speaker 10 No, I'm just playing.

Speaker 10 It's definitely not like

Speaker 10 it's not like the locker room. You know, when people say like there's locker room talk, I don't think golf's quite as cool as that.
There's not like a lot of a lot going on.

Speaker 10 Some people are more talkative. You know, I've walked by Tiger Woods.
Tiger, I guess you can call him by his.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, we didn't know who you were talking about. Thank you.

Speaker 1 I know you guys aren't golf guys, but I want to discuss.

Speaker 10 But yeah, you like walk by him, and some days he'll say hi, and some days he's like locked in. So you got guys like that.

Speaker 10 Your boy Blake, he's usually pretty, you know, focused and locked in. Then sometimes, you know, here I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in the locker room.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 10 I don't know if there's a hat policy.

Speaker 10 So I like, if I see a buddy of mine, I'll like nod and see if they'll be the first one to talk because I'm kind of scared to do anything wrong.

Speaker 10 But in general, it's

Speaker 10 I pretty much just go in the locker room to get my shoes and then to put them on and then to leave. So

Speaker 10 I don't spend too much time in there. I try and get back out where I feel comfortable with a golf club in Miami.

Speaker 3 And how do they decide who's sitting next to who at which locker? Like, is there an area where it's, you know, like Tiger, Phil, you know, people have won before, that sort of thing.

Speaker 1 Or is it just like everyone?

Speaker 10 Here there's an entirely other locker room for past champions. I actually accidentally pulled into the champions parking lot.
And that was

Speaker 10 a mistake. That was my very first encounter with anybody here.
And they very quickly sniffed out that I have not won here before, which was impressive.

Speaker 10 I know I look like I've won here before but I hadn't and

Speaker 10 yeah so in the locker room we don't even have the past champions you feel like you're kind of you feel like you're just like annex to literally like the office annex you feel like you're kind of in like that other room it's still sick but you're definitely not amongst you know tiger and and Phil Mickelson so my locker I'm assuming is just next to whoever comes the closest to Homa in the alphabet yeah so the big storyline for this masters and we'll ask you directly, is Bryson going to break the course?

Speaker 10 It feels like it, man. I mean,

Speaker 10 we've been hearing about it. I'd never been here before, obviously.
And then I got here and you start looking around and seeing what Bryson's going to do, where he's going to hit it. And

Speaker 10 I heard, you know, the stats of it yesterday are crazy. He's just...

Speaker 10 He's a tank, man. Like, he just hits it forever.
He's fat.

Speaker 1 He's fat. You can say it.
He's fat.

Speaker 10 I mean, he's got a couple extra C's in the thick

Speaker 10 for sure, no doubt. But yeah,

Speaker 10 I'm actually kind of intrigued to watch it because of any place you go to, if you break this golf course, like I think they might break you.

Speaker 10 Like they might, you might go to that little, you know, little jail cell here. They might.
torture you or waterboard you or something.

Speaker 1 Yes. And

Speaker 1 they obviously have extended the golf course through the years. So I think like if Bryson does break it, they'll just change everything to make it harder.
I'm we're not Bryson fans.

Speaker 3 I'm rooting for the course against Bryson.

Speaker 1 We're Brooks Kepka fans through and through.

Speaker 1 We're going to throw you into the fan group, so we'll root for you as well. Thank you.

Speaker 1 So this is kind of a dumb question, but like, how hard is golf?

Speaker 10 It's a great question.

Speaker 10 Super hard.

Speaker 1 Really, though? Like, really?

Speaker 10 Yeah, like, yeah, I think it is pretty hard.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, it doesn't seem that hard if you just had more time.

Speaker 10 I saw you guys play. It looked pretty pretty hard in the video Hank sent me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so can you rank our... So

Speaker 1 you do a hilarious thing on Twitter where you rate everyone's swing. Because golf is so funny that.

Speaker 1 And this happens in every sport where fans just sit on their couch and they're like, oh, I've done that. You know, like, I play JV.
I know what to do. Like, I play golf every other weekend.

Speaker 1 I could do that. And then you just rip people apart and show them how stupid they are for thinking that.
I know golf is hard, but

Speaker 1 how did our swings look? We had Hank show you the video of us playing with Tony Scheffler. Are any of us, if we put a little more effort into it, pro-material?

Speaker 10 You hit it really straight in the video I saw.

Speaker 1 Hell yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I did.

Speaker 10 I wrote stuff down for notes just so I didn't forget about it. Big cat, I wrote yours in like NFL combine type notes because I wanted, you know, that's your language, right? Yep.

Speaker 10 I said you look surprisingly good in shorts, which I felt like it's kind of a big win. Yep.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but shorts on the golf course, though, isn't that a big no-no?

Speaker 1 Oh, jeans, you were wearing jeans, Hank.

Speaker 1 You were wearing jeans, Hank.

Speaker 10 Hank, just give it a sec. I got to get yours because if I'm ranking them,

Speaker 1 yours was third.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 That's devastating because Hank thought for sure you were going to say he literally pointed to himself when I asked, bro.

Speaker 1 All right, so keep going. Sorry, sorry.

Speaker 10 No, you're good.

Speaker 10 Big cat, you also look like you'd be the best at knowing where all the restrooms are, or at least like the best type of towel if there's an emergency, like in the bushes, in the herbbery.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 10 Uh, also, I don't know if this one's too mean.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, yeah, this one's a little mean.

Speaker 10 I thought you hit it straighter than Cody Parky kicked it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good, never mind.
That was

Speaker 3 Cody Parky, the ultimate pin seekers.

Speaker 1 Yes, okay, DFT, you sent me your swing.

Speaker 10 You sent me your swing once, and in this video, you did the same thing, and I will applaud you.

Speaker 10 You look after you hit the ball, you look up with so much optimism, like it's going remotely near the hole.

Speaker 3 I look straight ahead, I'm like, that's where it's, and it always ends up like

Speaker 10 it usually goes in down the water and it didn't go an inch and you're looking up like it's flying over the mountains.

Speaker 3 Well, to be fair, I was hitting the ball out of the water. Like, that's tough to do.
And I got it on my second try, which I feel like that's, at least I got it out of the pond.

Speaker 10 You did. And I will give you the compliment that if you, I think you would be a better happy Gilmore caddy because you put it well with one shoe on.
Like, that was really impressive.

Speaker 1 Nice. Nice.

Speaker 1 Okay. And last but very much least.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 10 what did I write? Oh, Hank has the posture of a guy who's standing up for like the very first time.

Speaker 1 And I thought that if the wind blew a little too hard, he might fall over.

Speaker 1 Because he doesn't have an ass.

Speaker 3 You had a little more thickness in your base.

Speaker 1 He needs a little more price and thickness.

Speaker 1 The worst part about this, Max, is that PFT and I don't golf. Like, you know, I used to golf a little bit, but I don't golf.
Hank actually thinks he's a golfer. That's not true.

Speaker 1 I haven't golfed in four years. You fall in love with golf every like summer and you're like, oh, I love playing golf.

Speaker 3 The only reason Hank didn't play this summer on one of his mini vacations was because all the courses were shut down. Right.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'll say

Speaker 10 the cool part is, I think you three all had better swings than anyone at four play.

Speaker 1 Oh, let's go. There we go.
That's huge. That is huge.
I love it. So that is great, though, that you, because

Speaker 1 golf is the ultimate, like, oh, I could do that.

Speaker 1 I could do that.

Speaker 1 If I just played a little bit more, I know I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 But it is also one of those games where, you know, you have that one shot and you tell yourself, man, if I could just string those together. How,

Speaker 1 you know, you went from the web.com, the illustrious web.com to the PGA.

Speaker 1 How,

Speaker 1 like, what was that process like, trying to climb that mountain against so many, so many people and trying to get better like every single day?

Speaker 10 Yeah, it uh, I kind of had like the, I did the fast track when I first graduated college and it felt really easy. And then I, every year or so, I like hit a road bump and went back down.

Speaker 10 And it was one of those weird things where when I was on the web, I always felt like a big fish in a small pond.

Speaker 10 And then I'd feel like a really small fish in like the ocean when I made it to the PJ tour. So it was more like,

Speaker 10 it's like doing a better job not looking around and seeing like literally Tiger Woods like next to you and thinking, like, I got to go beat that guy.

Speaker 10 And for some reason, in the first few years, you know, that like conquered me. So the journey's tough, man.

Speaker 10 You know, obviously the players are really good, like any sport, but it's like,

Speaker 10 it's, it's the only sport, I guess, besides tennis where you're kind of out there by yourself. You can't, you know, throw bad pitches and still somehow win the game.

Speaker 10 Like, you're just kind of kicked right in the mouth when you screw up. And when I would do that, it was like I would look around and think, you know, well, that guy has been doing this forever.

Speaker 10 It must be, you know, he must think this is so easy. And finally getting out of your, out of your own way and just like playing golf.
That was the big thing for me because I think.

Speaker 10 I proved at least in college in my first year that like I could do it. But man, I mean, like, I, I, uh, I struggled with that for a while.
I never really felt like I belonged.

Speaker 10 And then, when you do feel like you belong, if you're if your game's good, I mean, you do kind of, it shows pretty quickly. But, um, you know, that's a that's the thing about golf.

Speaker 10 You come to Augusta National for the masters, and like, that's another hurdle to get over to show up here and think, you know, to your first question, which was a good question, like, yeah, I can win.

Speaker 10 Like, you have to be able to tell yourself that.

Speaker 10 It's very odd because, as you know, like seven-year-old me, uh, can still like remember watching Tiger win the masters, and it's just like it feels like a kind of like a fantasy uh being out here um but at the same time it's like kind of practicing doing that and screwing up in my first few years on tour of feeling like you should just have some confidence and like maybe a little bit of swagger although i'm lacking in that in general like you have to kind of fake it yeah so um when when you were playing on the web tour i think i read that you made

Speaker 3 in 2017 in the pj tour season you made 18 000 you'd made a little bit of money before that but i think it was 18 008 18 008 really mattered at that point. Yeah, that's an extra value meal.
And then

Speaker 3 you won at the Wells Fargo, and you got $1.42 million

Speaker 3 for one win. Now, a lot of times we talk about

Speaker 3 the difference between finishing second and third at some of these tournaments when you've got like Phil lining up a 12-footer and it's going to cost him $500,000 one way or another.

Speaker 3 I have to imagine for a guy like that, it's probably something that you can overlook a little bit and just think about making the putt, but when $1.4 million is like literally life-changing money for a guy like you.

Speaker 3 Like, how much is the money in your head when you're lining up that putt to win win a tournament?

Speaker 10 That one wasn't as much for some odd reason. It's almost like when you're in 30th and you have a putt to get to 20th, you think about it more because it's like, you know, X amount of dollars.

Speaker 10 And like then it's like kind of a motivating factor.

Speaker 10 When you're in like the thick of it and you're leading, you're thinking more about just like like winning which is probably because you're actually like in a better headspace i guess and like focused on the right things right but i would be lying if i said that i didn't set a uh alert on my phone when the direct deposit would hit and i would also be lying if i said i didn't shit my pants just a little bit when i saw it come in yeah i didn't know that uh the app went to two commas so that was like that was sweet that's sick how long does it take for a direct deposit to hit after you win a tournament

Speaker 10 I think it typically is two days, but that one took three and it felt like five. I thought maybe they screwed up or I dreamt it.
And then I was like getting kind of nervous. I texted my agent.

Speaker 10 I was like, yo, does this like, is this still coming? Like, is this still legit?

Speaker 1 And he's like, yeah, it should be.

Speaker 10 You know, so I was like, you, you know, I'm kind of freaking out here. I want to see what this looks like.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I have a very important golf question for you. How long is your driver?

Speaker 10 Not 48 inches.

Speaker 3 Okay. That was going to be my follow-up.

Speaker 3 What is a 48-inch driver and why should I care?

Speaker 10 Well, if you're not a Bryce and Shambo fan, I guess you shouldn't care. You don't need to care.

Speaker 10 48 is like the max length.

Speaker 10 You know,

Speaker 10 four inches is always helpful,

Speaker 10 as most men know.

Speaker 10 So, yeah, I don't know. It's just an added way to hit it a little further, I guess.

Speaker 10 I've never even tried a 48-inch driver, but I would be lying if I said Bryson's not making me like kind of consider it because he's hitting it over the damn moon.

Speaker 10 But at the same time, no one had ever really done it before. So that never even like crossed my mind.

Speaker 1 Sounds like it's cheating.

Speaker 1 I think it's cheating.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's cheating.

Speaker 1 I'm a

Speaker 10 third party. So, you know, that's on you as you as the fans can decide.

Speaker 3 Yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 We decided. It's cheating.
How often are you allowed to blame your caddy?

Speaker 10 Dude, I can blame him like whenever I want.

Speaker 1 Really? Like every single, like even if you, like, if you trip walking to the T-box, you can be like, what the fuck, dude? Why don't you say that? Why didn't you tell me that was there?

Speaker 1 Yesterday, yesterday I forgot a club behind six and i i i asked him why he didn't remind me to pick up the club yeah okay so that's great so you can just blame your caddy now is there are there times like how contentious does it get when if if your caddy is like hey hit this shot and you're like no i really love this one who gets you get final say or do you are there times when he can really persuade you to do one uh you know take a different shot He uh, he typically persuades me.

Speaker 10 I've known my caddy since I was six.

Speaker 10 He's like one of my best friends, which kind of sucks because I can never really get that mad at him because we end up like driving back to the hotel together or whatever. So then it would be awkward.

Speaker 10 And his mom might call me and yell at me for yelling at him. So it's like the yelling chain of command.
But I have the final say technically, but I do feel like he wins out a lot.

Speaker 10 I don't really know why.

Speaker 10 Maybe I trust him a little too much. Maybe that's the issue.
But typically, I think

Speaker 10 we've narrowed it down in our six years together. I've gotten actually mad at him like three times.

Speaker 10 And two of the times before I even got mad, right before I got mad, he's like, dude, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

Speaker 10 And then you can't get mad at somebody if they've already like owned up to it.

Speaker 10 But more often than not, if I was him, I'd be more mad at me than I would be at him. So I listen to him a lot.
Just so, you know,

Speaker 10 you want to keep the

Speaker 10 partnership working right. And see, if I listen to him and then it's bad, I can blame him.
And it's like a nice, that's a nice nice mental, mental edge I have.

Speaker 10 If we go with mine and it's bad, then we blame me, but we can always blame him if I always listen to him.

Speaker 1 He looks like he kind of looks like Ryan Fitzpatrick. He's got a little vibe with that beard.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, he shaved it.

Speaker 10 He started growing it in 2013 and he was waiting for the Dodgers to win the World Series.

Speaker 10 And four years in a row, basically, we're like, all right, this is the year you could finally get this, you know, beard off your face.

Speaker 10 And so this is like the first week a lot of people are seeing him without the beard.

Speaker 10 And he's walked by, I would say four people that he's friends with that just blew right by him, had no idea who he was.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious. So you are counting this as a real world series, it sounds like.

Speaker 10 I very much am, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, good to know. Yeah, I mean, it was a half a season.

Speaker 10 It's nice to be on this side of like, I'd be doing what you're doing, too, if like the Astros had won or whatever.

Speaker 10 But like, it's nice to be on this side where you can just kind of like take it and know you're still happy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, just know that everyone else is like, dude, that's not a real World Series.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like if you win the Masters this weekend, it's like, we're not really going to get it.

Speaker 1 November.

Speaker 3 We're not going to care. Oh, great, Max.

Speaker 1 We'll win the November.

Speaker 10 Because the World Series doesn't normally end in November.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 No. But there were 60 games.
Yeah. You know,

Speaker 1 no fans.

Speaker 3 I'll put it this way.

Speaker 3 It's like winning the Masters when there are no Azaleas in bloom. Right.
You don't really want to.

Speaker 1 This one doesn't count either. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, if Brooks or you win, it does.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll give you a couple of years. Yeah, yeah.
You absolutely will count it for you. If Bryson wins, we will find every way to not mention that.
That's a promise. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3 What about the caddy uniforms? That's one of my favorite parts of Augusta is they dress them up in the painters' outfits, the like big white overalls.

Speaker 3 And I read the way that they get assigned numbers is the winning caddy from last year gets number one. And then everybody else gets assigned their order in order that they check in.

Speaker 3 Does your caddy have a lucky number? And if so, are you making arrangements to try to have him check in on time so he can wear that number?

Speaker 10 So we already checked in on Monday.

Speaker 10 I told him he owed me 500 bucks if I somehow came in at 69 as the 69th guy. And I was so damn close.
I was 63. I was pissed.

Speaker 3 Could you have just hung out?

Speaker 10 But yeah, we're 63. It's kind of just, it's a pretty lame, boring number, but I mean, it's a good score in golf.
So, I guess we'll take that.

Speaker 1 Yes, true.

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Speaker 1 I have some golf etiquette for you.

Speaker 1 Are you allowed to fart in someone's backswing?

Speaker 10 It's not in the rule book, so yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, you should try that.

Speaker 1 What about when things aren't going so well, just smoking a quick bowl?

Speaker 10 that's in the handbook, not the rule book. So, I'll have to ask somebody about that one.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then also, like, the nice thing about that is then when you play even worse, you can be like, Well, I obviously smoked too much again.

Speaker 10 You get to blame it on someone else. It's like you're getting it pretty quick.
I think you would be a pretty good pro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what about like my move? I like to quit around whole 13 because I just get bored, and then maybe pick it up for 18 and be like, all right, you know, I'm back.

Speaker 1 And then I have the energy to finish out the round.

Speaker 1 Is that frowned upon?

Speaker 10 Absolutely not. That's how I love to play golf when I'm home.
If we're having like a fun day, you just like decide on a few holes.

Speaker 10 You're just going to kind of be the guy in the cart that's, you know, getting the beers nice and cold, making sure everything's ready for when you guys are going to like have some fun.

Speaker 10 And then, you know, with two holes left, you get super competitive. You beat somebody on the last hole and tell them that you kick their ass off.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. So I think you take, I like how your approach to golf.
What about,

Speaker 1 I like to bring some extra clubs.

Speaker 10 So if I have a bad shot, throw it in the water and everyone's like oh my god dude how'd you do that why'd you do that with your clubs it's actually like an old club yeah that's so that's perfect i live in the desert in arizona so we call it like a desert club you have one where you can like hit out of the rocks but i more or less like to use it if you're just frustrated you can snap it yeah

Speaker 3 desert club anyways so you can kind of you can kind of kill two birds with one stone that would be amazing like the bo jackson of golf have you thought about ways that maybe you'll be able to get on tv this weekend so uh a fun thing to do is if you make a big shot you take your hat off off and you like, you acknowledge the gallery that's not there.

Speaker 3 Usually they'll like start out the broadcast highlight package with like that. Yeah, they're no fans here, but look at Max.
He's having a great time saying hi to the imaginary people.

Speaker 10 I do think that's a, that's one way to get on TV. I'm playing with a past masters champion and one of like the coolest people on the planet, Fred Couples.

Speaker 10 So I'll definitely be in the background of when they'll put him on TV.

Speaker 10 So I think that'll kind of be my angle is just to see where the camera is and like maneuver my way like behind him to like kind of be in the photo bomb. Smart.

Speaker 10 I think winning would be a good way to get on TV. So I'll probably try that one as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I'm not a big wave at no fans guy because I like grew up with no fans. Like I, you know, so it's just been like, I think I've

Speaker 10 overdone that one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What about what about carrying your bag and everyone could be like, wow, Max, like he doesn't forget his roots. Like, look at him.
He's just a black man.

Speaker 10 I raked me on bunker today because I was pretty sure my caddy was going to forget to do it, but I was hoping that people would do that and look at me and be like, this is a really good guy.

Speaker 10 Like this guy

Speaker 10 gets it. And it was more so, like, Joe's going to forget.
We're going to get in trouble. Let me just get this out of the way.
But again, it was two birds, one stone.

Speaker 10 Everyone thinks I'm like the nicest guy on the planet, but in fact, I'm just making sure we don't get like fined or something.

Speaker 3 Is there hazing in golf? Like, you're a rookie at Augusta. Are they expected that you carry somebody else's clubs up to the clubhouse? Or do you have to sing a song like in training camp?

Speaker 10 Yeah, 100%. Tiger actually makes us all sing to him our rookie year.

Speaker 10 We sing a little

Speaker 10 dance if you don't like singing.

Speaker 10 But to be fair, if he asked me to carry his clubs, I would be the happiest guy in the world.

Speaker 3 Absolutely. What about stealing your co-workers' wallet while they're playing golf? Is that golf etiquette? Can you do that?

Speaker 1 Hypothetically.

Speaker 10 I've heard that's frowned upon, and it kind of people don't forget that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he has to transfer the hypothetical college.

Speaker 1 The keeping score part of golf, how like you can fuck that up and then it just disqualifies you. Does that now? Obviously, that's more your caddy, right?

Speaker 1 Your cat, or no, you have to keep your own score, right? You have to actually do it, right?

Speaker 10 Some people out there keep it. I keep it myself because my caddy didn't finish college, right?

Speaker 1 So it makes me a little nervous. Smart.
That's like our producer didn't finish college, so like we have to do that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 So do you ever get nervous that you like miscounted,

Speaker 1 you know, because that happens to me probably back to the smoking a bowl thing, but I'll always forget: like, wait, did I take three shots, four shots? I can't remember how I got here.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's made me nervous. Uh, because even if you didn't play good, you don't want to be the dude that comes in and like you know, you sign your scorecard.

Speaker 10 It is the dumbest part of golf that you could play the whole game and tell someone you made a four on accident and you made a three. Like, it's literally worse, and they give you a four, right?

Speaker 1 And you're watching on TV, and we all know exactly what shot you're on.

Speaker 10 Yeah, exactly. It's so, I mean, there's a lot of dumb golf rules.
I think that one's up there.

Speaker 10 But yeah, it makes me nervous. I definitely am the guy who like quadruple checks it.

Speaker 10 But I don't know. It has knock on wood.
It has not

Speaker 10 happened in a bad way to me yet.

Speaker 10 But maybe,

Speaker 10 you know, maybe that's just because I'm a lot, you know, smarter than most people. I don't know.
Maybe that's what it is. Maybe I'm, maybe that'll be my thing.

Speaker 10 I'm like the, I'm like the most careful, smart golfer there is and best looking. I don't know.
We could throw that in.

Speaker 1 You suck when you do this this weekend. When you get so nervous.
The whole part about these clips is that

Speaker 1 I can laugh. Yeah, no, this is going to suck.
Have you

Speaker 1 went down 18? You're like, well, Max's scorecard is not correct.

Speaker 3 Has that ever happened where you're in like an official tournament and

Speaker 3 you just hold out and you're getting to the next tee and you're counting back on the last hole and you're not sure if you had like a four or five and you're doing like that math where you're pointing up in the sky, like just thinking, okay, my first shot went in the rough, second shot went in the bunker.

Speaker 3 Have you ever like come down to like pretty much guessing?

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah. I've had that.
I mean, it's pretty embarrassing, but I had to ask my caddy once, like, are we putting for six or seven? Uh, because you hit in the water a couple of times.

Speaker 10 You start doing the pointing. I don't know.
Bryson did that earlier this year, and it was funny.

Speaker 10 We can laugh now because he's beating everyone's brains in, but he did the thing where his head's up in the air. He's, you can see him doing like a little bit of the mental math.

Speaker 10 But I've had moments where I've kind of forgotten. Uh, one time when I was in junior golf, I thought I made a 10, and I was so embarrassed that I had to write two numbers in one little score box.

Speaker 10 And the guy in my group reminded me that I made a nine, and that was a big win for me.

Speaker 10 That's something, hell yeah, that's something I, you know, really, really keep in my back pocket for like the optimism of golf.

Speaker 3 Have you thought about what you're going to tell Nick Faldo as you're walking down the 18th Fairway?

Speaker 3 Uh, for like the little fun fact, if you're about to win the Masters, do you like Imagine Dragons a lot? What's your thing that they're going to break out?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 10 I don't love Imagined Dragons, no offense to them. Uh, it's already been taken.
Um, I guess I could shout out out you guys. I learned a lot watching you guys

Speaker 10 manage your game around.

Speaker 10 You guys called it TPC Sawgrass. Not so sure that's the golf course you were at.

Speaker 3 No, the iconic 17th grade.

Speaker 1 It was the iconic. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's in Michigan, right? Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's where it is, right? Yeah.
Sawgrass.

Speaker 10 So, yeah, I don't know what I'm going to say. I think I'm going to, I might be a little bit.

Speaker 10 I'll be cool with anything. Honestly, at that point, if you told me that Imagine Dragons was my thing, if I'm walking up the 18th and I'm about to win, I guess I'd be all right with it.

Speaker 10 Uh, but for now, I'm just gonna hope they come up with something clever and not just say I'm like the funny Twitter guy. But I mean, I'll take that too.

Speaker 1 What at what point? So, if you go obviously, winning number one, duh, two, it's finishing second, gotta suck because you're like, oh, a couple shots here, a couple shots there, I could have won.

Speaker 1 What point does it get good again? Like, three, four, five, like what six, or are you like, yeah, this is awesome. I finished six at the masters.

Speaker 10 Um, we were talking about that this week.

Speaker 10 I think third, it's like the olympics like yeah third is like your happy spot if you're not going to win because the the the silver medalist is always like pretty bummed but the bronze medalist is stoked to make the podium yep so i guess that's where you start to be happy um

Speaker 10 but i guess i don't know i guess winning if you're a third you might only lost by two anyways i don't know i guess that's a really good problem to have especially at augusta yeah

Speaker 1 masters but uh i'm gonna go with third is probably like the happiest you'd be with losing right And then there, and then there's obviously like 11th would suck because you didn't finish top 10 and 6, you didn't finish top 5.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, okay. That's you got to find that sweet spot.
Finishing third would be pretty nice.

Speaker 3 Did you get measured for your jacket before you went to Augusta, or is that something that they do after you win?

Speaker 1 Good question.

Speaker 10 That would suck if they measured a lot of people, but not me. Just they just kind of take a shot in the dark.
Yeah, we don't need to waste our time with this guy.

Speaker 10 Man, now I might be a little insecure. No, because they did not.
They didn't even ask me if I if I wanted a green jacket,

Speaker 10 if I want. They didn't ask my size.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 No, that has not been a thing of my week.

Speaker 1 Do you think, so we're big like changing rules to make sports more fun, guys.

Speaker 1 What about mulligans? I think that golf should have mulligans. One mulligan a person.

Speaker 1 And it would add that element of like, if you're coming up on the 18th and you're down a stroke, you got a mulligan in your back pocket. Who knows what you can do with it?

Speaker 10 Do you take mulligans when you're out with your friends or no we uh me and my buddy taylor who plays on tour too he uh we we uh around new year's have a little three-day four-day golf uh fun golf tournament thing with all our buddies and uh we have a rule that you can get two mulligans a hole but if you take one you have to take a shot okay so you really have to be smart because over 18 holes that would be 36 shots and i don't know about you guys but i don't know if i could quite handle that um so that's a fun one because the more mulligans you take the more drunk you are right typically your golf at some point is gonna go downhill john daly would shoot like a 48

Speaker 10 allow for that i think you need to have to like offset the mulligan with something yeah uh

Speaker 10 but i i'm in i'm in on mulligans i've i've asked uh the heavens a million times if i could just get that thing done over one time i would do anything even like drink you know a shot of pop-off again so i'm in with the mulligans what about jerseys i feel like golfers should have jerseys that have like, you know, their names across the back with a number on there.

Speaker 3 That way fans can buy them to support. Because like, I don't know, I guess if I wanted to like support like Tiger, I could buy a Nike polo shirt and stand in the gallery and clap for him.

Speaker 3 But I'd rather wear a jersey of a golfer.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I like the idea. Golfers, minus like maybe Brooks, aren't really like cool looking in actual athletic gear.

Speaker 10 So I'm not so sure we'd look like that cool, especially if they did like the jerseys that make your biceps look big.

Speaker 10 Because if if you don't actually have them, you actually look smaller, yeah, and more like less like an athlete, which we don't really need help doing.

Speaker 10 So, as much as I hate golf clothes and I hate wearing pants and a belt and tucking in my polo golf shirt, uh, at least we're kind of like leaning into the hey, this is kind of a dorky sport, but we're not gonna

Speaker 10 stay in our lane, you know. So, I think jerseys would just make us look like we're trying too hard.

Speaker 3 Do you have to wear a belt?

Speaker 10 Uh,

Speaker 10 technically, no, I actually had a belt burst on me

Speaker 10 two weeks ago. So, and I played 14 holes without one.
I felt weird, but no one came up to me and kicked me off the course. So, I guess you don't have to have one.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
I would go beltless for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How long are you?

Speaker 10 Like, my driver life?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, yeah.
It's a fucking golf interview, dude.

Speaker 1 I just love that question. How long are you, bro? I'm slightly above average.

Speaker 10 It's just the wording wording of it threw me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how long are you, bro? Like, people say that, like, golf, like, how long are you? What do you hit off the tee?

Speaker 10 You know, I hit it. I hit it just over 300 yards.
I'm not going to wow you, but I, you know, I'm not a bitch. So

Speaker 1 wow you, yeah. 300.
It's not bad. Yeah.
I hit it like maybe 200 if I got a wind in my back.

Speaker 3 What about your balls?

Speaker 1 What do your balls look like?

Speaker 10 They're like... They're clean and white.

Speaker 3 How did you decide what your mark was going to be on your balls?

Speaker 3 I would draw pubes all over it. I think that'd be really funny.

Speaker 1 Like as a little bit of a ball.

Speaker 10 Yeah, but then every time you lose it, you have to redraw it and it just takes long.

Speaker 1 You should play with like a fluorescent green ball and just fuck up everyone at the masters. Or a pink ball and be like, it's breast cancer awareness.
So what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 You're going to make me stop playing with this?

Speaker 10 I think you're allowed to play with whatever color golf.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 10 That would be shocking. Yeah, Bubba played with a pink one for a while.

Speaker 3 Pink would be cool. What about, oh, it's Salute to Service Month, a camouflage ball.
That would be a real pain in the head.

Speaker 1 Or yeah, like a green ball, and just then you can just cheat the whole time.

Speaker 10 I show up with that, my I show up with a camouflage ball, and my catty yells at me and says, If my job's hard enough,

Speaker 10 please just pick the one I can find in the trees.

Speaker 1 That's true. That is a difficult job to like track that ball.
All right, I have one last question, Max, and this is more of a serious question.

Speaker 1 The final question is brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage America's crazy good mortgage company.

Speaker 1 Go to ccmlens.com/slash take to learn more about your future home, buying experience, or refinancing needs equal housing opportunity. I don't understand.
So, So you won a tournament last year.

Speaker 1 It then gets you into

Speaker 1 the masters for the next two years. So how does that work? Like next year, are you basically, you have to finish a certain level to keep getting invited?

Speaker 1 Or if you get a certain level at this master's, you get an invitation. Like, how does that work? And what does that like go into the pressure of every single event?

Speaker 10 Yeah, actually, you only get one master's. So

Speaker 10 this will be mine. You can get, I I think, top 12 this week gets you into the next master.
So if we're asking,

Speaker 10 like you mentioned earlier, getting 13th place would suck here.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 10 So there's another happy, I think I'd be really happy with 12th if it wasn't first.

Speaker 10 But yeah, so you have to like re-qualify. I mean, like the top, top guys, you know, if you're top 50 in the world, you get to play in the masters every year.

Speaker 10 So yeah, I guess, you know, 12th or better would be another like little mini major goal for this week.

Speaker 1 So then next year, are you feeling more pressure because you have to then win another event to get invited to a couple more things?

Speaker 10 Yeah,

Speaker 10 you definitely feel pressure. I guess you kind of get used to just trying to win a little bit.

Speaker 10 But yeah, I mean, now that you're like, now that I'm here, it is kind of

Speaker 10 motivating to make sure you keep coming back.

Speaker 10 Cause this is like, this is pretty, pretty damn cool.

Speaker 10 So you do feel a little bit more pressure, i guess a little more motivation because you don't want to be the guy now who didn't get to play the masters again you want to like keep coming back keep keep uh taking chances of winning a green jacket so uh it's definitely uh it's definitely pretty a pretty heavy thought once you get here and think you know this isn't like a guarantee you'll just be back here next year no matter what what about just tipping everyone really well and then they're like hey well that max guy was cool Yeah, so that's the other cool thing is if you, if I win again, I'll have more money to tip more because I don't know if they're, I don't know if my tips are going as long away as like Tiger and Phil.

Speaker 10 I feel like they can, they can really lay down the law with the tipping. Yeah.
I'm just kind of, you know, the guy's like, oh, you know, is this it? And I'm like, yeah, honestly, kind of it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I've only won one, dude.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's wrong with me.

Speaker 3 Do you ever feel bad having so much more clout than a lot of golfers out there? Like you are, you're the golfer with clout. You're the Twitter guy.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't feel bad. It is a little embarrassing when, you know, you're walking with a group of people and

Speaker 10 you can kind of hear somebody mutter, oh, there's Jordan Speet. He's one of the best players in the world.
Oh, there's Brooks Kepka. He's won four majors.
And then they're like, oh, who's that guy?

Speaker 10 And they're like, oh, he's really popular on Twitter.

Speaker 10 That's not like, it's cool, like. a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's cool. That means something.

Speaker 3 You have a thing. That's going to be Nick Faldo's thing that he says about you.
He's going to be like, this guy will judge your swing on Twitter and he's very funny at it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 You know, I'm the funny. I'm like, you know, when the, when the, you know, pretty girl in high school is like, oh, you're, you know, you're the funny guy.
Yeah, that's exactly who I am.

Speaker 10 I'm the funny guy.

Speaker 3 The world needs laughter. I like it.

Speaker 1 Well, we're rooting for you. Yeah, big time rooting for you.
You're, you're officially, I mean, if it's you versus Brooks at the end, it's Brooks. Gotta go, Brooks.
No offense.

Speaker 1 But we'll root for you against everyone else. And kind of cool that you're going to play with Freddie Couples.
He's probably going to be wearing his skater shoes, which I always love.

Speaker 1 Smoothest swing in the game. Yeah.
And Jim Nance will, you will get some screen time because Jim Nance, I don't know if you knew this, was roommates with Freddie Couples.

Speaker 10 I've heard.

Speaker 10 That's come up.

Speaker 1 It's the Clayton Kershaw Matthew Stafford fact.

Speaker 10 That missed stuff because I've heard it too many times. But it's like the, what's the one? Dustin Johnson can dunk with no shoes on.
That's another one.

Speaker 1 Is that true?

Speaker 10 Well, they'll mention it most likely this week.

Speaker 1 He shouldn't be going around with no shoes on if you catch my drift, you know?

Speaker 3 Got to have traction. A lot of traction.

Speaker 3 You should be wearing cleats in the house. Yes, at all times.
Why do golfers wear cleats?

Speaker 1 Yeah, good question.

Speaker 10 Which golfers wear cleats?

Speaker 3 Why do golfers wear cleats?

Speaker 10 I don't know, man. That's actually another great question.
Freddie Couples does it.

Speaker 1 He wears a skater. Yeah, he wears his vans.

Speaker 10 Maybe that's why we're not all cool. We should all just kind of do what Fred does.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I never really got the cleats thing. I think a lot of the guys who use the metal spikes just like to hear the click on the ground and make you feel like you're a baseball player or something.

Speaker 1 Yep. um

Speaker 1 yeah i don't know i um that's actually a perfect perfect uh reason right there like that's more than enough

Speaker 1 and cooler yeah yeah yeah talk about clout like you need a little clout walking by the fans as you go across the car path you know they're like oh that guy that guy swings so hard he needs to literally fasten himself into the ground he has to have an anchor on the bottom of his feet or else he's going to fly into orbit yes um all right well max thank you so much man we are rooting for you we appreciate your time man and uh anytime you want to come back on, we'd love to have you.

Speaker 10 All right. Thank you.
I appreciate being on. You guys are my favorite podcast.

Speaker 1 So I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. I like it.

Speaker 10 This is, you know, masters, and then just below, you know, be on part of my channel.

Speaker 1 Tell Brooks if you see him because Brooks was like, oh, I'm too busy today. So give him a little be like, hey, I just went on PMT and,

Speaker 1 you know, had a really good time with the boys.

Speaker 10 Awesome. I didn't even have to tip him.
So this has worked out really nicely.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, man.

Speaker 10 See you, boys.

Speaker 3 That That interview with Max Home was brought to you by our good friends at what's up, guys.

Speaker 1 It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth, but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
All right, let's wrap up. We got some guys on chicks

Speaker 1 to do.

Speaker 1 Hank? You ready to roll? Ready to roll. Ready to roll.
Let's fucking roll. Let's roll then.
What, Billy? What?

Speaker 3 We didn't do the sheet. We didn't look at the...

Speaker 7 No, no, no. It's not the sheet.
I was just wondering if she had a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 We actually covered most of it.

Speaker 3 We did.

Speaker 7 I was just wondering if people knew what piss jugs were.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it was like a normal term.

Speaker 7 It was like pretty simple.

Speaker 1 It's a mandatory.

Speaker 1 Oh, what? Yeah, so this guy had a bunch of piss in a bottle laying around.

Speaker 1 Piss jugs? No.

Speaker 1 Never mind. I thought it was a candy.

Speaker 3 Wait, so the piss goes in the jug?

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, you don't go to the bathroom and you just piss in the bottles.

Speaker 3 So is it a jug made out of piss, or is it when you piss out a jug?

Speaker 1 No, never mind. No, no, no.
I think what he's saying is when you recycle the piss, it becomes a jug.

Speaker 3 When you flush it down the toilet.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know what Billy's saying. He's saying when you're

Speaker 1 hooking up with a chick and you piss on her jugs. Oh, okay.
That's like the hottest thing you can do. Or is it when you piss a piss jug?

Speaker 3 When you piss into a machine that spits footballs out. Yeah.
You spray the entire room with it.

Speaker 1 On everyone's approach.

Speaker 3 Yeah, as a good prank. Piss jugs.

Speaker 6 Piss jugs.

Speaker 5 Shout out to Trailer Park Boys.

Speaker 5 Sup, guys, especially Dad Cat and Dig Dick Norman. I think that's Big Dick Norman.
He's on this podcast. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and have not had sex yet.

Speaker 5 A few BJs and finger action like high school.

Speaker 1 Wait, what? For how long? A couple years. Two years.

Speaker 5 He's super religious, so I understand. But recently, he is interested in having sex, but he wants to have anal sex because it's not the vagina, so it's not real sex.

Speaker 5 Is this real or has this been a long con?

Speaker 3 I like how he's like recently he's been interested in having sex. He's developed an interest.
He's taken interest in my vagina.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just

Speaker 3 he's he sounds like a weirdo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, he's very, very religious, I guess.

Speaker 3 Does God not protect the butthole? I don't know. God's just like whatever.
You can put whatever you want in there, just not the one two inches away.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it feels like a pretty fucked up loophole. I think that's still sex.
Get it? All or nothing. Yeah.
Hole. Talking holes, Billy.

Speaker 8 Pretty holy.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 3 the piss jug thing.

Speaker 1 I'm really stuck on this. What, so what do you do?

Speaker 1 Sounds like a pretty holy guy, Hank.

Speaker 5 I just want to say that Big Cat said he would inject himself with coronavirus. True.

Speaker 5 March Madness got canceled. And then he said he's obviously not doing that.
He will pick two pinky teams this year.

Speaker 1 He only picked one pinky team, though. All right, I'll pick a second pinky team.
What's my one pinky team? I am going to inject myself. I'm going to get the vaccine.
I'll be first to get the vaccine.

Speaker 3 I think you redid the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3 All right. I'm going to take the vaccine, too.
I feel like

Speaker 3 we'll lead from the front on this one. Shoot me up with whatever you need to.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 The problem is, I'll be honest with you guys. I'll be dead honest with you guys.

Speaker 1 Having a son has definitely changed the perspective. No, I'm just going to pick a second team.
Give me a break. Listen, Hank.
You can't pull this out.

Speaker 1 You're sending out your fucking little eight-pound dog is the same thing. All right.

Speaker 3 What do you need your pinky for for your son?

Speaker 1 To not be the worst.

Speaker 5 I have a son, and I'm risking cats over there.

Speaker 1 The worst

Speaker 1 To not be the worst role model of all time.

Speaker 3 But it's pretty cool if your son's friends come over.

Speaker 3 You're like, hey, look at my dad. He's Mr.

Speaker 1 Pinky. There is a

Speaker 1 tendrin to woodwork. I understand that there's a difference in this room now because I have a son, but I won't explain it.
It's fine. I do, too.
Right.

Speaker 1 All right, you want me to take the Patriots? Yes. Okay.
They're not going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 They're not going to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 I've got a future on them.

Speaker 1 Oh, let's go. I mean, they're not going to win the Super Bowl.
All right, I love it. All right, so I have the Falcons and the Patriots.
I'll fucking pick another team. You want to pick another team?

Speaker 1 What other team do you want? Bears.

Speaker 1 What? Bears. No, because then that's.

Speaker 1 I'm boxing myself in.

Speaker 3 Would you give up a pinky for the Bears to win a Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Ravens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably I would. So that's the exact same thing.
No, because

Speaker 1 I don't want to have that fun taken away. Like, why would I do that to myself?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it should be the Ravens.

Speaker 1 The whole NFC East.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, fine. I'll throw in the NFC East.
Okay. So the entire NFC East,

Speaker 1 the Patriots, and the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Is that enough?

Speaker 1 Is that enough? Are you not entertained? No, that's too much. Yeah, I mean, well, you only forced my fucking hand.

Speaker 3 It's three teams. Yeah, it's three teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was great.

Speaker 5 Hey, Big Cat PFT.

Speaker 1 That was an interesting selection for Guys on Chicks, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 3 Wait, was that another Guys on Chicks, or was that the end of the first person that wrote it?

Speaker 1 No, that was hand-selected Guys on Chicks from Hank. Because that was definitely a Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 1 Dear Big Cat and PFT,

Speaker 1 I recently, listen, sometimes people make great points in this.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. I have no question about that.
I remember when Hank said he was going to get high with a leaf blower, and that hasn't happened.

Speaker 1 I wasn't allowed to because we got bought by, I was going to do it.

Speaker 5 I bought a pound of weed to do it, and I had to just smoke it over time instead of all at once.

Speaker 1 So who's the real loser here?

Speaker 3 Wait, the gambling company said that you're not allowed to smoke all this weed at once, but you can definitely smoke all of it.

Speaker 5 Something like that.

Speaker 3 Pretty stringent regulations.

Speaker 5 Well, I was just like, don't do it on camera. I was like, whatever.
It was like right when we were getting sold, and I was like, hey,

Speaker 5 I have to honor this bet. I just bought a pound of weed.
Like, should I not do this video? And they're like, no, probably not.

Speaker 1 I was like, what the fuck? It's sad. Hank Mochi looks like Van Gogh.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Van Gogh bet.

Speaker 1 Van Gogh bet.

Speaker 3 Cut your ear off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cut your ear off. For selling.

Speaker 5 200k contest entries for Thursday.

Speaker 1 By the way, I also have a bet that I'm going to get a tattoo if Drew Brees wins the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 I didn't say it. A chick sits.

Speaker 1 All the dads that listen to pardon my take at least back me up and be like, Your your perspective on life does change.

Speaker 5 I have your back.

Speaker 5 Hey, dear big cat and PFT, I recently discovered that my boyfriend prefers to sit when he pees. This took me by great surprise and had me questioning his masculinity for him.

Speaker 5 He says that when he is alone in his own home, he sits just about every time, as it is too much effort to aim his wean.

Speaker 5 He says it comes out to be sixty seventy percent of the time he is sitting to take a piss.

Speaker 5 When I confronted him about it, he told me sitting completely eliminates the need to aim, saving potentially hundreds of dollars in toilet paper for wiping the seat. Question mark.

Speaker 5 Well, I'm glad he isn't getting pissed in the seat. I personally find it weird that he has been sitting.
Please tell me if I'm being judgy bitch for this. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Or if I'm justified in taking away his man card. P.S.
Thank you kindly. P.S.
Big Cat, the Ravens are not frauds.

Speaker 1 Every morning. I don't like this

Speaker 3 email.

Speaker 3 I'll put it this way. In between the hours of 2 a.m.
and and 8 a.m. If I have to piss, I'll sit down because I'm grod.

Speaker 1 Oh, see, I never sit down because I'm not a bitch. Um,

Speaker 3 I absolutely sit down. There's nothing nothing to be ashamed of sitting down if you're tired.
But plus, it's like a little mini workout. You do a little squat, you get a rep in.

Speaker 1 It is bullshit that

Speaker 1 like all we hear now is mask, mass, uh, toxic masculinity is ruining this country.

Speaker 1 And then if we want to sit down, we're bitches, which we are, but you should at least let us like we can call each other bitches, but you can't call us a bitch. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 Yeah, every guy sits down to pee.

Speaker 1 Like, I could say PFT is a bitch for sitting down.

Speaker 3 Every guy sits down to P.

Speaker 1 If Six says that, that's fucked up.

Speaker 3 Billy, you sit down to P.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 7 I'm pretty sure that the British Army sits down to P. Like,

Speaker 7 they mandated

Speaker 1 our ass

Speaker 7 because it's like for cleaning.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, seriously. Like, in the barracks.
That's such a

Speaker 1 random completely made up.

Speaker 1 I heard it one time. Yeah, I don't think so.
Who told you that?

Speaker 5 That was like a joke, maybe?

Speaker 1 Like a conversation?

Speaker 6 Maybe a joke, but I believe

Speaker 6 that.

Speaker 5 I believe it, like, hanging out with other American troops that were shitting on British troops.

Speaker 3 I honestly actually shout out the fighter pilots I met in Florida.

Speaker 1 Okay, that was them.

Speaker 1 They said that? They did. And they said it for real.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 How should a girl act to attract guys like High Cat and not guys like Billy?

Speaker 1 How should a girl act?

Speaker 1 how should a girl act to attract guys like Big Cat and not guys like Billy? Hmm.

Speaker 3 Good question. I think just read.
Just breathe through your lungs. So

Speaker 3 if you're not an amphibian, I think that's half the vital

Speaker 1 positive vibes. Don't have positive vibes at all.
Don't have gills. I love Billy.
So Billy is a catch. Anyone out there, he's single? I'm not single.
Shit, he's not single.

Speaker 1 I have plenty of frogs at home. Plenty of frogs at home.
The guys on chicks always derail Billy's day.

Speaker 6 I know. I'm in such a good mood when I come in.
I'm like, yo, Hank, you should do this self-help book.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I heard you saying that to him. What was that about?

Speaker 7 Yeah, well, Hank's just super.

Speaker 1 He is a negative person.

Speaker 6 But it's accidental. It's because of his thought process.

Speaker 1 It's because of them. Whoa, whoa.
Why is it? Don't put it on. Honestly, that's actually true.
I've gotten more negative since I came back. Like, to be honest.

Speaker 1 We do positive reinforcement all the time.

Speaker 1 No, you don't. Yes, we do.
Billy, I say I love you every single day. Yeah, but it's like negative.
It's

Speaker 1 I love you. I love you, dude.

Speaker 3 Billy, the last time we say positive reinforcement, we were like, thank you for this sheet. And you're like, why are you acting so?

Speaker 1 AWLs, PFT's, I love you at the end of the episode. What about it? Oh, you're saying it's not real.
Is it real? Why would it not be real? It's sarcastic.

Speaker 7 He said it to me all the time.

Speaker 1 Oh, I do say it to you all the time. I'm joking.

Speaker 6 Interesting.

Speaker 5 Hi, PMT. I recently came home one night.
My boyfriend was sitting sitting on the couch in the dark watching football. And I asked him why he didn't turn on any of the lights in our apartment.

Speaker 5 He said, I can see.

Speaker 5 Do all guys just sit in the dark if no one is around? Thanks.

Speaker 3 Yeah, less distraction. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And that's like if the lights are.

Speaker 1 Whatever the lights are

Speaker 1 set up, when you walk in, that's how they stay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's actually the ideal man cave set up. Plato's cave was like that.
All you could see was just the projection on the wall and nothing else. There was nothing to distract us.

Speaker 3 And we were very happy not having anything else besides what we were staring at.

Speaker 1 We're just very, very lazy people.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've said this before, but like, there'll be times when I'll be in my car, I'll park, and I'll have to bring something up, and it's in the back seat, and I just won't do it. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll get it later.

Speaker 7 The British have to sit down when using the toilets in their tanks.

Speaker 1 To piss. Okay.
Because they can't.

Speaker 3 Because you can't stand up to piss in the tank.

Speaker 6 I'm sorry. Fact-checked myself.

Speaker 1 No, that's a good fact-check.

Speaker 5 All right, last one.

Speaker 3 Do you still wear the red coats?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 5 Hey, PMT, especially frog fellatio fanatic Billy.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 5 A girl I went to high school with.

Speaker 1 Great. Positive vibes on her.
Positive vibes. Dude, that's actually a compliment.
You get to fuck frogs.

Speaker 1 What guy? Above water, underwater. Billy, maybe one of them will turn into a princess.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 7 I'm just looking for my princess.

Speaker 5 A girl I went to high school with ended up getting into porn soon after we graduated. She wasn't known around school for being promiscuous at all.

Speaker 5 In fact, she had the same boyfriend all through high school. Something must have snapped in her because she ended up becoming semi-famous and performing in dozens of incredibly filthy videos.

Speaker 5 I haven't personally watched any of them, but my friend said some of them were more hardcore than 1998 when The Undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted 16 feet through an announcer's table.

Speaker 3 This is Brandon Walker.

Speaker 1 This is a chicken world. This is Brand Walker that wrote this.
Very intimate knowledge of WWE.

Speaker 5 Well, my friend said some of them.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Got it.

Speaker 5 So what's the question? There actually was no question.

Speaker 1 I was was just kind of interesting story. So could you just give us the name? I think that you need to watch that.
Hey, you know what?

Speaker 6 I enjoyed it, guys. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 That was a great contribution by Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Good job, Hank. Good job, Hank.
Hank, you made up a story.

Speaker 1 So Hank.

Speaker 6 I enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Good job, Hank. And people at home do, too.

Speaker 1 Positive odds only, everyone. Wait.

Speaker 1 Billy wrote that one in.

Speaker 5 That wasn't going to be the last one until I realized there wasn't a question. This one, I was looking through the last submissions.
This is a real question, Billy. I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 Hey, boys, my friends and I are debating whether Billy football is fuckable or not. Some say he's marginally attractive.

Speaker 5 Some say he's a giant man-child who embodies all the things we hate about the male species. What's the verdict?

Speaker 3 Billy's a fuckboy. You know,

Speaker 3 he is a fuckboy.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. So, yes.
Hank, Billy's fuckable. What the fuck?

Speaker 3 You're a fuckboy.

Speaker 1 Billy's fuckable. You're fuckable.
I askboy chat.

Speaker 5 Billy's fuckable as fuck.

Speaker 7 Hank, I've just been supporting you this whole time.

Speaker 1 And you just pull that one out. I'm telling you, they're fuckable.
I'm telling you back. Listen, Billy is.

Speaker 1 If you could. Billy is

Speaker 5 so much more than meets the eye.

Speaker 1 He's young.

Speaker 1 In four or five years, he'll be a big-time catch. Wait.
He's still in his fuckboy phase. PFT's right.
He's growing.

Speaker 3 I think that when you're 33 and you're getting married, you're going to look back and you're going to do the count where you do your number. You're going to remember Billy.

Speaker 3 You're going to include him in the count, but you're going to laugh when you're like, oh, yeah, I remember that guy.

Speaker 1 That was a fling. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's a compliment, Billy.

Speaker 1 Billy, you are doing great, and I love you. And, Billy, guess what? You know what? You're tall.
No.

Speaker 1 No. You're handsome.
No. You look strong.
Thank you. Your boots aren't that dirty today.

Speaker 3 You've got the second biggest biceps on your jingot team.

Speaker 1 You took the shoelaces out so you're not going to kill yourself.

Speaker 1 I mean, you have no shoelaces. I need your boots.

Speaker 1 It's a weird move. Anyway.
Jeffrey Eggstein with no shoelaces.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's right. You can't hang yourself in your barn.

Speaker 1 Subhuman. So wait, no, sub-teen.
Sub-adult. Sub-adult.

Speaker 3 Billy, you can't wear your five-finger shoes anymore. You stopped wearing those.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I kind of wore through them.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so there you go. You improved to being fuckable.

Speaker 1 Billy, you're going to get the number today. 18.

Speaker 1 8. Billy, you're going to get the number today.

Speaker 1 56, said Liam. He's thinking really hard.
It's 88.

Speaker 7 69.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 24.

Speaker 1 8, 8, 8.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Billy, if you get this, it'll be incredible. Be a legend, Billy.

Speaker 7 Mammoth skulls were found in ancient Greece, and they thought they were actual cyclops.

Speaker 3 So close, you're too off.

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 3 You missed by two balls, Billy. First timer.

Speaker 1 First timer. You think if I hit it again, you'll get it?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 1 We're running it back. Only for Billy.
69. Only for Billy.

Speaker 1 This is our first multiple drawing since August 30th. No, it doesn't.
it doesn't count. It doesn't count for anyone else.
Just for Billy.

Speaker 1 Billy, turn it off. Okay.

Speaker 3 Well, that's our show. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of dreams. Shire.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of Jay

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 Saddam needless to say

Speaker 1 I've all said it's my me some little way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learn that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me,

Speaker 1 it's no better to be safe than starving.

Speaker 3 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.