Coach O, The Falcons Won A Game, And NFL Week 8 Preview

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have our good friend, Coach O back on the show. Great friend.

Speaker 1 New book out.

Speaker 1 We talked to Coach O. We love Coach O.
I mean, he's the best. He is the best all-time voice.
He and Matthew McConaughey, they should actually do a swap. They should do an audio book swap.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would just love to see a travel show with the two of them. Yes.
So, Coach O, great interview. NFL week eight preview.
Great, great week of football, weekend of football coming up.

Speaker 1 We have Fire Fest of the week. We have fantasy daddies.

Speaker 1 Not dads, not fuckboys, but daddies.

Speaker 1 Also, we have

Speaker 1 Daylight Savings, right? Yes,

Speaker 1 fall forward. All right, so we're going to talk about all of it.
Part of my take is brought to you by...

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Speaker 4 part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Marshall. You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA.
Today is Friday, October 30th, and the Falcons won a football game.

Speaker 5 How about that?

Speaker 4 It looked like they weren't going to. Yeah, I mean, they tried their very best to give it away.
Todd Gurley ran out of bounds when he should have stayed in bounds.

Speaker 4 A little Marion Barber-esque on his part right there.

Speaker 5 Don't say that.

Speaker 4 Sorry, it looked like they were doing everything possible to give it away again,

Speaker 4 but their defense ended up making a play. And what was that guy's name? Is his name Bloody?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 It was kind of a weird game, too, with the sideways reign, but the Falcons did it. And PJ Walker appearance and Teddy Bridgewater getting absolutely smoked.

Speaker 4 I wouldn't say great game, but it was a game. We're actually time traveling right now.
So we are recording on Zoom for the first five minutes of the show.

Speaker 4 Then we're going to get to our NFL preview and everything.

Speaker 4 We knew that if the Falcons won this game, we were always going to watch the game and then record something after, but especially if the Falcons actually won the game. And I have a theory, PFT.

Speaker 4 As soon as the internet catches on to something, that's when it's done.

Speaker 4 And if you watch the timeline and everyone talking in the fourth quarter, they're like, how are the Falcons going to blow this? Right. Falcons aren't going to blow any more games now.

Speaker 4 Falcons might even go on a run because as soon as everyone starts figuring it out and making the same joke, it's like, all right, this is over.

Speaker 4 Like there's no chance that the Falcons are going to lose this game. I don't think it was the internet.

Speaker 4 I think it was a good like canary in a coal mine is figuring out once Troy Aikman starts getting in on the joke. Yes.
At that point, it becomes like it's over.

Speaker 4 Like I was tweeting out some of the win probabilities just because I love the Falcons win probabilities.

Speaker 4 To me, those are still fair game when they get up into the like 94, 95, 96 percentile, and then watching them come back to earth like they always do.

Speaker 4 But once Troy starts making little comments like, and if you're a Falcons fan, I don't know if you're feeling comfortable right now, no matter, heck, you could have a 10, 15 point lead.

Speaker 4 Once Troy starts getting those like little jokes off his chest,

Speaker 4 then you know that something has been run running to the ground pretty far and then it didn't help that arthur blank went down to the sidelines again yes if you're a falcons player that has got to piss you off like you don't want no one wants their boss standing next to them watching them work or arthur blank prowling around like like a cat that walks into its owner's like bedroom when they're sexting somebody just staring at them like what are you doing what are you doing it's got to be annoying as

Speaker 4 Yes, it does. Like staring at your computer screen

Speaker 4 where you're always like on edge being like, oh my God, someone's going to look at my computer screen. I'm not doing work.

Speaker 4 I'm on like a fake Excel spreadsheet. That's Arthur Blank.
But yeah, you're right. The Troy Aikman getting in on it.

Speaker 4 It just felt like that.

Speaker 4 it's never it can never last forever right like the falcons have already defied all statistics and probability so of course they would have a game where like even they gave you the tickle where they missed the extra point so it's an eight point game you're like oh it's only a one possession game but still i like i mean i bet on the panthers and teddy bridgewriters going down the field i'm like i don't think they're gonna get it because the falcons like they can't keep losing like this every single week eventually it has to stop and eventually it's gonna stop when everyone catches on to it right but let's not act like the falcons streak of losing games and heartbreakers is over for good like are you saying that the foul maybe they are maybe the falcons are going to go undefeated from here on out it was just like it was too good to be true for it to happen in a primetime game and keep this streak going intact.

Speaker 4 Like, don't get me wrong. Atlanta is going to get back to their own ways.

Speaker 5 Yes,

Speaker 4 oh, they will, but I don't know if they'll ever get back to like the full-on, full-on, that the streak that they've had where it's like, what was the stat we found for the three games to start the season where they had 98 win percentage or win probability.

Speaker 4 They're going to take a break, a small break from that. They're still the Falcons.

Speaker 4 You're absolutely right, but they're going to take a small break from that to give it a rest, to like lull people back in, because that's really what it comes down to is the reason why the Falcons were so exceptional in their heartbreak is that you didn't, you saw it coming, but you didn't fully see it coming.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? Like even the Cowboys game, you're like, no, they can't actually blow this, right? Like the Todd Gurley game, like, you know, last week, they can't actually blow this.

Speaker 4 Now that everyone's like, oh, they can actually blow this, the heartbreak wouldn't be the same if they did, in fact, blow it.

Speaker 4 I would actually say that the reason that the Falcons didn't blow this game is because it would have been too normal of a game for a football team to blow. Like

Speaker 4 the big headline in the heartbreak tomorrow morning would have been

Speaker 4 Falcons give up 95-yard drive with three minutes left.

Speaker 4 uh to have the game tied and then lose in overtime that's a pretty normal headline for for a falcons loss that's too normal actually like if in order for it to be like a real heartbreak it would have been like the cowboys game or like the lions game where they lose in some weird up way that jigsaw himself could not have come up with yes yes and the same goes for which we have done on this show respecting teddy bridgewater i think maybe we've respected teddy bridgewater too much that we have to start disrespecting him again so that he can start playing well again and his offensive line was bad tonight and they actually made the falcons defense look like somewhat competent which is incredible in its own right.

Speaker 4 But Teddy Bridgewater is the same thing where it's like he's got to fly a little more under the radar for him to actually outperform our expectations.

Speaker 4 Like, we're starting to put some expectations on Teddy Bridgewater. That's not where he wants to be.
Well, let's start doing that. Let's disrespect Teddy Bridgewater respectfully.
Let's negatively.

Speaker 4 Respectfully, Teddy, you take a lot of sacks. And when you take sacks, your pads make a really loud, crunchy sound.

Speaker 4 And you

Speaker 4 right.

Speaker 4 And let's see respectfully what else i mean he was yeah he wasn't great tonight he wasn't he wasn't so so bad but he was definitely missed some open guys and like even troy aikman was kept on saying like why is dj moore just not getting past the ball ever

Speaker 4 and there was just some weird stuff i don't know it was um it was a game i don't really know what else to say besides it was it was football it was football uh respectfully teddy your head bobbles around side to side when you run a lot yes yes, that's true.

Speaker 4 That too. That too.

Speaker 4 Billy, do you have any thoughts on the game before we get to? Oh, we didn't get Billy. We didn't get your Berserker parlay.
You want to give it to us real quick? Well, you know, who had the Falcons?

Speaker 4 No, Shredamas the Hedgehog. Yeah, so what's his record? Oh, wow.
It's 13 and 3 now.

Speaker 5 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4 Do you want to hear his picks for the rest of the weekend? He has Detroit plus 3. Browns minus 2.5.
Bills

Speaker 4 minus 4.

Speaker 4 Steelers plus four seahawks minus three bengals plus five and a half and then i'm calling this the bill de blasio you parlay the giants and the jets and it's got like an insane payout so i'm definitely throwing five bucks on that on the odd chance it's a lot of tickets we saw it's it's one dollar that pays out 69 so suck it de Blasio parlay yeah actually perfect and I think

Speaker 4 Todd Gurley's a Russian agent he's sabotaging

Speaker 4 from the inside. Just take that one in there.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Why is he Russian an agent? Because he's just sabotaging the Falcons.

Speaker 5 There you go.

Speaker 4 I mean, but from also from Russia. Got it.
Yeah, we don't need anything more besides that. That's good enough for me.

Speaker 4 All right. Thank you, Billy.
So is that it? And that's pretty much everything we had from Thursday Night Football. Trevor Lawrence got the Coco.
Oh, yeah, Trevor Lawrence did get the Coco.

Speaker 4 He probably was hanging out with the Wisconsin team um i'm not mad about everyone victim shaming cocoa but yes i blame you and coach chris he didn't follow the guidelines guys he didn't follow the guidelines the guidelines could easily keep him from getting it i do think it's a little odd that uh

Speaker 4 much like cam newton was the only person on the patriots that really came down with it nobody else on clemson is coming down with it and you have to question his leadership

Speaker 4 yeah stephon gilmore did have the cocoa as well he got it a couple other people had it. He got you have to question the leadership if nobody else has it.
But I did read that he

Speaker 4 lives by himself off campus. Well, yeah, that's weird.
He's engaged, I think. So it's not that weird if you if you put that in there, if that fact in there, he probably lives with his fiancé.

Speaker 4 I would imagine. Well, maybe not because he's, I think he's a traditionalist, so he's probably waiting till marriage.

Speaker 4 But either way, I will never, ever blame any of these kids for getting coronavirus because the whole thing is just so stupid like it right i still can't

Speaker 4 of course it's going to happen if you send kids to a college campus and be like don't go outside wear a mask please be safe okay they're 20 years old all they want to do is drink and

Speaker 4 right did they disinfect the rock every time somebody touched it that one rock that everybody touches on the no yeah which is no offense to clemson but a lot smaller than i thought like i thought that rock was a lot bigger no like i've said about clemson it's two gas stations in a rock.

Speaker 4 That's all you get in South Korea. Maybe one of the gas stations has like decent barbecue, but everyone thinks of it as like the good barbecue place because it's better than the other gas stations.

Speaker 4 Yes, that's what you get in Clemson.

Speaker 5 Also,

Speaker 4 I want to give a shout out just to college football fans in general for being very good at immediately jumping to the conclusion of how is playing a Trevor Lawrence-less Clemson team going to affect our strength of schedule when it comes down to the coaches ranking.

Speaker 4 So, like Notre Dame fans, Boston College fans, you name it, they're all like, they're sitting down and being like, wait, how badly is this going to affect us if we beat them without him on the team?

Speaker 4 Without even taking into account that the backup at Clemson is a fucking monster. He's a five-star.
He hasn't really,

Speaker 4 it hasn't been great when he's been in, but he's playing with backups as well. So, and they're probably not like running a full offense.
You know, he went in against Citadel.

Speaker 4 My favorite thing, too, is

Speaker 4 in the age of coronavirus and like the crazy gambling world,

Speaker 4 people just trying to chase the news. I feel like it never works out.

Speaker 4 If you immediately bet Boston College for Saturday, Clemson's now going to win by like 55 instead of 45. And so like it will just blow up in your face.
I just chasing it, it just never works.

Speaker 4 For some reason, you just can't, like, whenever you think you got a beat on it, you just don't.

Speaker 4 I wish that we had Jake on this call right now to teach us how to pronounce their backup quarterback's name. I think, isn't it what, like, Travis Etienne is his name? He's gonna run

Speaker 4 like 45 times.

Speaker 4 I think it's Uigalele. DJ

Speaker 4 Uigalele, which is an all-time name.

Speaker 4 That's one that you know that the announcers are going to spend overtime, like, learning how to pronounce before Saturday. Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 Um, all right, let's uh time travel to our NFL preview before we do that.

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Okay, so we have time traveled. We're back in the studio.

Speaker 1 We just watched Thursday Night Football. You heard the intro, you heard us talk, discuss it.
We're going to do our weekend preview, week eight.

Speaker 1 You can tell we're back in the studio because the ambulance sirens are still going on outside two and a half years later. Yep, exactly.
Thank you, Pete.

Speaker 1 So we're going to do a week eight NFL preview, and bonus, bonus, Hank is going to try to seamlessly work in a real play bar stool ad. So he has to do it in conversation.
In context, in a normal way.

Speaker 1 That's all he's got to do. Yeah, just try to figure out a way.
It's going to be eight for eight. It's only eight games you have to pick this week.

Speaker 1 So only eight games you have to pick this week on the play bar stool. If you go eight for eight and then you get Monday Night Football correct, you get $25,000.
This week only. This week only.
But

Speaker 1 did Hank just incept you into working it in to the natural advice? Being a nice guy, he's got to now work it in naturally and and people will rate it afterwards.

Speaker 1 People will rate it afterwards, whether it was natural or not, okay? Hank, also, since we're handing out compliments, because it's positive vibes only, thank you for wearing appropriate pants today.

Speaker 1 Thank you, and your glasses look great. Well, my head hurts.
We'll get to it on the fire fast, but my head hurts a lot. So, Billy, you okay?

Speaker 1 You sat up. Those are some nice glasses.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 My head hurts. You look like if Clark Kent was out of the way.
I like the glasses. This is compliments.
Oh, yeah, this is compliments. Okay.
All right, right, all right. If he tried to just roast me.

Speaker 1 No, no, no,

Speaker 1 no, Clark Kent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you would know. Animal fucker.
Whoa. Compliments.
Whoa. Animal lover.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Animal lover.

Speaker 1 Pretty academic.

Speaker 1 Let's talk some football. Let's talk some week eight.
A great slate. Yeah, I'm going to say it.
It's a great slate. We got some old school rivalries.
We got some new school rivalries.

Speaker 1 We got a couple games where it's basically going to decide a team's season.

Speaker 1 What I really like about the afternoon afternoon slate is that, yes, it's only three games, but it's a good three games where you've got your two primary ones that you're going to be watching, and then your third that's just kind of humming in the background that maybe you bet the over on.

Speaker 1 You don't really have to pay attention to the Chargers, Broncos matchup. Correct.
It's just kind of going to be there.

Speaker 1 And maybe you don't have to pay attention to Bears Saints, depending on how it goes. All right.
Let's do it. Hank, let's start with your team.
Patriots Bills is the first game up.

Speaker 1 This is the season for the Patriots. Would you not say? I would say that many people are already going into the spend zone of the Patriots are actively tanking right now.

Speaker 1 Some are saying that Julian Edelman, it just got announced today. He's out.

Speaker 1 So, according to Adam Schefter.

Speaker 1 So they should just run armies offense. Yes, they should.
They should do the straight-up, like, we're going to pass the ball maybe three times this game.

Speaker 1 In Adam Schefter's terminology, Edelman had standard precautionary knee surgery today, like we've all had.

Speaker 1 Just a little preemptive, just like go in there and clean it out for a little bit. Yeah, I love the minor surgery.
There is no minor surgery.

Speaker 1 It's like I had exploratory Jones fracture surgery on my foot. Just cleaned up the knee.
Yeah, just got a little knee issue cleaned up. So, yeah, Edelman's out.

Speaker 1 They don't have anybody on offense whatsoever playing that can catch a ball. I don't even know, like, who are the Patriots' tight ends? Is that Izzo? Is Lizzo their tight end?

Speaker 1 I actually think they might run the Army offense.

Speaker 1 Because, I mean, this is, you know, and then we'll have some unbelievable story about how Bill Belichick learned all this by watching it on his, you know, parents' parents' refrigerator with his dad because his dad coached at Navy.

Speaker 1 Not sure if you knew that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be shocked if Ernie Adams has the triple option ready to go. They should just try to run lacrosse plays.
Yeah. Just substitute for a football this weekend.
See if it works out.

Speaker 1 This, though, so this is actually kind of a duel

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 must win. Because the Patriots must win because their season's on the line.

Speaker 1 And then the Bills, if the Bills lose to this version of the Patriots, the boogeyman is just, they're never going to beat the Boogeyman. But then it's like a double-edged sword.

Speaker 1 If Josh Allen does take the Bills and whomp the Patriots this weekend, it's still kind of an asterisk swamping. It's like you haven't beaten the real Patriots.

Speaker 1 The Patriots have half mass. So

Speaker 1 I don't know. This game has me all type of confused, but I'm excited for it just because I feel like this is an answer game.
You'll get some answers from this game.

Speaker 1 You get some answers on what's going to happen for the rest of the season.

Speaker 1 The Patriots might legitimately suck. Yeah.
You'll get an answer. The Bills might legitimately not be a contender.
You'll get an answer. I hope it's going to be cold.
That's all I hope. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to see some breath. I want to see breath coming through the face masks.
Not going to happen. And I want to see the players take their helmets off and the heads start to suck.
52 and rainy.

Speaker 1 Shit. All right, Titans, Bengals.

Speaker 1 Titans are going to kill the Bengals, and then everyone's going to be like, why'd you dealt with the Titans, bro? That's true. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to say, I don't know. As a noted Titans respector, I'm going to say I called this last week already.
It's going to be a whamping. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's up with the Whampin's? I don't know. I said whompin' a couple of times.
It felt good. What's up with that?

Speaker 1 Just whomp them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Titans, I don't.

Speaker 1 I'm going to stay exactly where I'm at with the Titans. I think they're a good team, not a great team.
All right, Raiders, Browns. I love the Raiders in this game.
Love, love, love them.

Speaker 1 Love them. So we are right in the middle of the takes of are the Browns better without Odell Beckham? I don't even know if it's a take anyway.
I think that they kind of are. I've heard it so much.

Speaker 1 I've convinced myself that it's true.

Speaker 1 Baker is forcing the ball. That Baker is a better quarterback without Odell Beckham.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 They try to force the ball to Odell, and now Baker doesn't have to worry about that, and he can spread the ball around. So this take,

Speaker 1 I feel like we get this take every now and then, and it works for about a week, and then it will fall apart, because then you realize, oh, it's probably easier to defend the Browns when Odell Beckham's not on the field.

Speaker 1 Oh, this all became a little bit easier to do, so Baker's going to struggle after that. But this week, maybe I like the Raiders in a bounce back spot.

Speaker 1 The only, yeah I I I think I like the over I don't know who I'm gonna take if I'm betting on one team or another but John Gruden said as an organization we are on the cutting edge of beating the virus

Speaker 1 entirely so keep your eye on that they're they're gonna get a vaccine I think I think the raiders have gone like full-on herd immunity right now they're probably just drinking mark davis's blood that's it yeah yeah he's well he is a bat yeah he's basically you could i bet you mark davis has like six forms of covid circulating through his system right now that haven't been discovered yet hank thoughts want to work anything in?

Speaker 1 No? Okay. All right.
Next up, Colts, Lions.

Speaker 1 Lions, itty-bitty little baby run could keep going here. I actually like them against the Colts.
I don't know. Something about the Lions, like, they're just frisky every now and then.

Speaker 1 I think that this is going to be a points factory. I think there's going to be a shitload of them left out on the field.
Left out on them?

Speaker 1 No, on the scoreboard. They're going to light up the scoreboard.
Oh, I thought you meant

Speaker 1 you're going to walk away and be like, man, how do they not score more? No, sorry, left above the field on the scoreboard. Got it.
So, yeah, I think there's going to be a shitload of points.

Speaker 1 A lot of offense in this game.

Speaker 1 I am starting to doubt the Colts. Yeah, why wouldn't they? I feel like it.

Speaker 1 Because they've had a couple games where they've looked awesome, and they've had a couple games where they look really, really stinky. And I keep, like in my brain, I keep...

Speaker 1 assuming that the good version of the Colts will come out there every weekend, but I've reached the point where now I'm not expecting the good version of the Colts.

Speaker 1 So the teams they have looked awesome against the Vikings, the Jets, and I don't even know if you want to consider them looking awesome against the Bears.

Speaker 1 They just, that game was terrible, but you could throw that in there. Those aren't exactly murderers, bro.
That's not exactly the best teams out there. Well, the Lions

Speaker 1 aren't exactly Super Bowl defensive. No, but I would say the Lions are better than the Vikings and the Jets.
So, we'll see. We will see.

Speaker 1 And the Lions are playing good. You know what this is? Itty bitty baby run.
This is, are we sure they're bad? Yes. Colts and the Lions.
Whoever loses this. Officially bad.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, I'll stick with my Lions baby run.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up, we have Vikings, Packers.
Thank you, everyone, who tweeted us. The Packers have lost

Speaker 1 six times in a row on Daylight Savings Weekend, which I've heard is this weekend fall forward. Set your clocks forward.
You said that every weekend, big cat. I was wrong.

Speaker 1 It's this weekend fall forward. Set your clocks forward at 2 o'clock.

Speaker 1 At 2 o'clock, you're setting your clock to 3. Yep, absolutely.
Is that how it works? Yeah, we're jumping forward. It's like, you can think of it this way.

Speaker 1 It's like Lombardy time or Coughlin time, except with a full hour. Okay.
If you're 15 minutes early, you're still 45 minutes late. Perfect.
So fall forward this weekend, get ready for it.

Speaker 1 No, I'm telling you. That's fine, but don't set your clock and be late for work on Sunday.
Yeah. Go ahead and do that.
Try me. You are every Sunday.
I wish you would. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, now, are the Packers, are they 0-6 straight up or 0-6 against the spread? I think 0-6 straight up. I thought it was against the spread.
I don't know. What is it, Jake? Find it.

Speaker 1 Whenever this time fall forward happened,

Speaker 1 what happened in the game? Aaron Rodgers doesn't do well with clock shifting.

Speaker 1 Something about the crystals that Danica would keep on the bedside table threw off his whole energy. So you got to take the Vikings against the spread.
Speaking of this game, the Vikings are

Speaker 1 in the last six. Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 Hold on, Hank. That's probably not good for them.
Playing 0-6

Speaker 1 the other team.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I might. So

Speaker 1 You're probably going to want to take that stat into your real

Speaker 1 Play Bar School app picks. You would, yeah.
Yeah. Mike Zimmer.
I was just. No, you haven't done anything.
Yeah, I was just saying they're one in five.

Speaker 1 Mike Zimmer, do you think he's ever gotten hot sauce in his eye? You think that's the reason for one of his like 20 surgeries that he's had? I think he would just wheel the hot sauce.

Speaker 1 His eye would just start to throb and slowly just squeeze the hot sauce out of itself. Cry it out real quick.

Speaker 1 All right, Rams. Or, no, sorry, Jets Jets Chief.
So wait, are we going to trust the daylight savings thing? Yeah, I think we have to. Who am I to argue with the clock?

Speaker 1 Because I remember specifically we told

Speaker 1 and we told a bunch of people to remind us this year, and I've had tweets all week being like, hey, this is your reminder. So yeah, I think you got to take the Vikings' money line and plus seven.

Speaker 1 Well, so I'll put it to you this way. We were so confident last year that it was going to happen again that we told people to remind us.
We missed out on it.

Speaker 1 Do we think that we got smarter over the course of last year? Because I think I got much smarter.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to listen to what I had to say past year ago. Past us

Speaker 1 way smarter than future us that we are right now.

Speaker 1 We buried a time capsule for ourselves. Yes.
And the smarter version of ourselves has done that.

Speaker 1 We buried a time capsule in the internet. Yeah.
And it's awakening right now. And it's slowly woken up and it's going to be right.

Speaker 1 I had a high thought like a week and a half ago about time capsules because I feel like we don't do time capsules anymore.

Speaker 1 Maybe you do it back in elementary school where you like, I don't know, you bury your class gerbil or something like that along with your class picture.

Speaker 1 But has anybody ever thought of making a time capsule that's just completely bogus and incorrect? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 And like burying it way underground and hoping that like a thousand years from now, somebody like retrieves this out of the ground.

Speaker 1 It's like, holy shit, the Buffalo Bills won four straight Super Bowls between

Speaker 1 1980. That's not what a time capsule is because they would be able to look that up.

Speaker 1 But no, a time capsule is something that you can bury that someone will retrieve, and that will be like their primary source of what happened back then.

Speaker 1 Right, but that is something that could be proven wrong. We never know.
What if it's like 2,000 years from now?

Speaker 1 I think they'd still know that the Bills didn't win a Super Bowl. Do we know who that was? That's something that will forever be gone.

Speaker 1 Do we know who the best gladiators are from ancient Rome?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm pretty sure we could look it up, right? Could we? Did they keep stress on that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were disappearing. What I'm saying is, like, why don't we make a time capsule that's completely false? How

Speaker 1 would it? I like the idea. I just don't know how we would make it false.
So we could have one that's like, yo, PFT was 6'4. Have some power.
No, they would know that. They would know that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's going to go on

Speaker 1 and on.org. Crixus.
Crixus.

Speaker 1 Number one. Flamma number two.
Spartacus three.

Speaker 1 Carpenter. Spartacus, I thought.
Operas for a while. Spartacus was overall.
He was overall.

Speaker 1 Total fraud. He was a system gladiator.
So,

Speaker 1 no, I like this idea. We just got to figure out how to make it so that

Speaker 1 it's not something people could look up. Or you just do a time capsule that's a short-term time capsule.
So

Speaker 1 bury something right now for 10 years, but bury it all with stuff from the 1970s.

Speaker 1 We'll go rob Darren Ravel's basement and we'll get all his fucking weird things that he's collected. We'll bury that and we'll be like, look at this.
This is what life was like.

Speaker 1 So then, since it's a high thought, we just get a really high guy to go unearth it, and he thinks he found something incredible. Okay, so it's just a prank on a high guy.

Speaker 1 Basically, we got to get somebody that's completely out of the loop on everything. Correct.
Like the most ignorant person who has.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it. Yeah.
Because otherwise, I think people would just be like, wait, none of this is right. Yeah, but if you target something like far enough in the future,

Speaker 1 you might be able to fool them on it.

Speaker 1 We could target an alien civilization. That's true.
We could just launch something into space.

Speaker 1 All right. Jets Chiefs.
So we're taking the Vikings. Jets, Chiefs.
Jets, Chiefs, 21 was the opening spread for the Chiefs, minus 21.

Speaker 1 The last

Speaker 1 13 times that this has happened, over 20-point spread, 3-10 is the favorite against the spread. So you have to bet the Jets.
So

Speaker 1 I wanted to bet the Chiefs when it was over 20 points.

Speaker 1 Now that it's under, I want to bet the Jets. Does that make any sense to you? You went the wrong way.
I know, I absolutely did. But you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Like, when you see 20, that's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Yeah.
You want to take that absurd number. Now that it's just a normal 19.5 spread, it doesn't have the same sex appeal to it.

Speaker 1 It's such a big spread. Although Chris Jones did say that people forget the Jets are a good football team.
They just haven't won a game yet.

Speaker 1 Did he get that directly from Bill Belichick? I think so, yeah. I can't wait till Belichick plays the Jets and has to start complimenting him.
Oh, shit. You know what?

Speaker 1 I just realized this game is, if I'm Andy Reid, I'm pulling Patrick Mahomes at halftime because Greg Williams will make his name off trying to injure a guy like Pat Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Does he have enough players to actually do that? Like, I think Greg Williams could offer $10 million

Speaker 1 to his defense and be like, hey, don't let him score. And guess what? They'll still score a million points.
They can still score, but then they'll hit him after the fact.

Speaker 1 But maybe this goes back to what you were talking about last week, which is defensive players don't really go at Patr Mahomes the way they do at others. They don't.

Speaker 1 I hope that Greg Williams has learned from his past mistakes. He absolutely has not, by the way.
No. But if I'm Andy Reid, I'm considering getting Patrick Mahomes.
Maybe after the first quarter. Yes.

Speaker 1 Don't even take him to New York. Just get him.
Oh, the game's in Kansas City.

Speaker 1 Do not take him to New York. Don't take him to Arts.
Do not take him to New York. Do not take Patrick Mahomes to New York.
Because then he'll miss the game. Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe do take him to New York then. Keep him

Speaker 1 out of harm's way. Yeah, just don't have him play.
Or just like send his uniform. You remember, was that last year that it it took the Chiefs' uniforms an extra half hour or 45 minutes before kickoff?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. To get up to the meadowlands.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just send Patrick Mahomes' jersey up to New York. All right, Rams Dolphins.
So the Rams going to the East Coast. Tua

Speaker 1 is officially starting. Very excited for Tua.

Speaker 1 By the way, the Rams, you would think, we always love to do the West Coast to East Coast thing with the time change.

Speaker 1 But Sean McVay is 7-2 against the spread going to the East Coast. Yeah.
So he's a good coach. He is.
I think he can just beat body clocks.

Speaker 1 I think I like Tua.

Speaker 1 I like Tua this weekend. You don't? No, I just

Speaker 1 feel sad for Fitzpatrick still. I really do.
But he's going to be a great cheerleader on this.

Speaker 1 I think also

Speaker 1 Aaron Donald is going to like

Speaker 1 the Dolphins' offensive line is not good. They've played better, but they're not good.
So then Tua is going to have to deal with that to start. Like, that sucks.

Speaker 1 I don't know either. All right, the biggest are winning the Super Bowl.
The Rams are winning the Super Bowl? Yeah, I won it on the record. Really? Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 1 But you don't like golf. I love Jared Goff.
No, you said you hated him. Nope.
One of my best friends in this world, one of my favorite athletes that's ever existed, ever played any sport ever.

Speaker 1 You're just reading a script of what PFT and I have said. No, incorrect.
Okay. No, we like Jared.
You're the one who's always like, no, why do we have to have Mac on the show?

Speaker 1 I watched Game of Thrones the last episode of his house. That's where Bonded for Life after that.
That's true. We did it.
Their defense is fucking nasty. Jared has the experience.

Speaker 1 He's been there before. This time he's going to get revenge.
They're going to win the Super Bowl. Who's their kicker, though? They don't even have a kicker.

Speaker 1 They have the best kicker in the league. He's

Speaker 1 kick a ball, right?

Speaker 1 But they got rid of Steel Bowles.

Speaker 1 I feel like they could if they needed him to. He definitely could field goals and be awesome at that.
They signed Kai Forbath last week. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Best one o'clock game.
Steelers, Ravens. These two teams.
teams, no love lost. Throw out the record books when they get it.
I love it. I also,

Speaker 1 this is a big, I mean, this is like a

Speaker 1 big-time prove-it game. Who's going to be the team that you think can go up against the Chiefs? Because the winner of this will definitely come away with some shine.
You know what?

Speaker 1 If the Ravens beat the Steelers, you have to take the F-word off them. No.
You have to. No.

Speaker 1 They're not losing the fraudulent tag if they beat

Speaker 1 your little pocket pussy, the Steelers, that you left to fight? No, no, no. Why? That's kind of a fraud move on your part.
No, I've said it. They have to fucking they have to win a big game.

Speaker 1 They have to win a playoff game. Lamar Jackson is 0-2 in the playoffs.
This is a big game. They have to win a playoff game.
This is a big game. How does that not make any sense?

Speaker 1 This is also one of the two actual competitive games that the Steelers have left on their schedule. I just want to say it's a damn shame.
Sorry that you don't like Pittsburgh. No, I don't like it.

Speaker 1 I feel very sad. I do like Pittsburgh.
No, you can't like everyone. You can't be like, I like the Ravens and the Steelers.
I can't say I think the Steelers and the Ravens are both good football teams.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. You tried to pin it on me that I'm like the Steelers, which I do.
I do.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 you're about to go against the Steelers' entire schedule, which you are.

Speaker 1 So just say it. You want the Ravens to win.
You like the Ravens more than the Steelers.

Speaker 1 Pick a side.

Speaker 1 Pick a side. I want this rivalry.
I put my fucking feet in the sand. I made a line.
I've told you who I think the frauds are. Pick a side.
You can't compliment every team.

Speaker 1 I will compliment the Steelers. I will compliment the Ravens.

Speaker 1 I will compliment both of them at the same time. I'm a fan of AFC.
North football. Have an opinion.
I'm a fan of AFC North football. Have an opinion.

Speaker 1 And I just say, I wish that this game was on at night.

Speaker 1 This game should be taking place under the lights, where you get like one new Raven that's got the reflective visor that he's never worn before, and Big Ben wearing the long sleeves that he wears sometimes.

Speaker 1 That's what I miss about this game. It's fine that it's on in the afternoon.
I'm just a fan of AFC North. Have an opinion.
AFC North football. No.
Boom. That's bullshit.
Why is that bullshit?

Speaker 1 Because, just say, like, who do you think is the better team? Between these two? Yeah, it is. The Steelers are the the better team.
All right, okay. I mean, obviously, game to game, we don't.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Ravens can win, and the Steelers can be the better team. No, I will say the Steelers, I think, are the better teams.
I do too. I absolutely think that.

Speaker 1 But I also saw some Ravens fans being like,

Speaker 1 how quickly can Marshall Yonda gain 60 pounds so he can get back out there after? Because that's the biggest loss that they've had. Yep.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. This is going to be a great game.
You're right, though. It should be a night game.
It absolutely should be a night game. It feels different when it's in the mid-afternoon.

Speaker 1 And we have the Eagles, Cowboys. Who the fuck cares about that game? Just flex that shit.
Oh, brutal. Yeah, this should be at least an afternoon game.

Speaker 1 At least. All right.
Afternoon games, Chargers, Broncos.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is my who cares game of the week. Yeah.
This is my background noise game of the week. Yeah, this is the game that you'll forget about in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 They even started at the 405 spot, which is always the worst. This game never happened.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Unless,

Speaker 1 I mean, just it's two young guys that, you know, people get hyped about. Just a couple young bros.
Justin Herbert and Drew Locke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I will say that if Drew Locke has a great bounce back game, I'm going to care, and I'm going to bring this up, and I'm going to be like, I told you so. This guy had Moxie.
All right.

Speaker 1 Saints, Bears. You know what that is? That's a Moxie off.
Yes, it is. Justin Herbert against Drew Locke.
Absolutely. Saints, Bears, I truly think the Bears are going to win, which is stupid.

Speaker 1 A little information for you.

Speaker 1 Michael Thomas is back. He was reporting as practicing today.
Oh. But in the Play Barcelona, it's because it's the Monday line, so it's two and a half.
Or it was four and a half.

Speaker 1 No, it's two and a half. Now it's four and a half Saints.
So if you think the Saints are going to win, you have even more chance in the Play Barcel app. Oh, look at that.
Good job, Michael.

Speaker 1 The line has moved so much.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Oh, it moved so much since the Bears showing up.
Michael Thomas has been announced.

Speaker 1 They were two and a half point favorites in the play bar salap. Now they're four and a half point favorites.
So you have even more of an advantage towards value. Value.

Speaker 1 We like to say value.

Speaker 1 So does he hate his teammates or what? He hates one teammate

Speaker 1 I think it's shocking. Bare minimum, one teammate.
He really strongly dislikes one person's draft.

Speaker 1 Correct. Correct.
So do you think I don't I feel like

Speaker 1 I feel like they're bringing him back and then they're going to try to trade him. Maybe.
Maybe. That'd be weird to bring him back for a game.
Well, just to show that he's still okay.

Speaker 1 Like he did have a legitimate injury. Yeah.
And then he punched someone in the face. He should just be on a live stream for 24 hours.

Speaker 1 If he can make it an entire calendar day without attacking a teammate, then that's all we need to see. Like, I believe that Kent Guard Mike is healthy.
I just think Drew Breed's outside.

Speaker 1 First time the Saints are outside all year. He seems like a guy that gets very cold.
Very cold. 43 degrees.
He's got iron deficiency. Windy.

Speaker 1 Not good for arm strength. It's Taysom Hillweather.
Nick Foles, the wind might even help Nick Foles bring those balls back where he overthrows everyone by 15 yards.

Speaker 1 You never know. Maybe that's the key to the offense.
Why not?

Speaker 1 Let me ask you this. one bad, really bad half from Nick Foles.
Let's say he throws three interceptions in the first half.

Speaker 1 Are we entertaining Mitch coming back?

Speaker 1 I would hope so, but I also know that Matt Nagy, I think, hates Mitch more than anyone in the world. I think that relationship is probably pretty much gone right now, right?

Speaker 1 100% gone. And Matt Nagy and

Speaker 1 Nick Foles had, which is never a good sign. So everyone saw Brian Greasy's comments or heard Brian Greasy's comments on Monday Night Football,

Speaker 1 basically saying Nick Foles doesn't even think some of these plays work when he gets them called in.

Speaker 1 Apparently, the quote was afterwards that they had a conversation and they're in a really, really good place right now and couldn't be happier with their relationship. Yeah, this sounds

Speaker 1 so bad. I'm so happy for them right now.
I just want them to be happy. No, we're in a great place right now.
We're like all those divorce rumors. They're just, it's just noise.

Speaker 1 No, I would say it's like they're already divorced. Yeah.
But it's like... We might renew our vows.
It's just like, like, you know what? I think that they're doing really well and they're successful.

Speaker 1 I'm just so happy for them. Matt Nagy and Nick Foles might adopt a child to save their marriage at this point.
That's how bad it's gotten.

Speaker 1 All right. 49ers Seahawks, so excited for this game.
This game also should be a night game. Agreed.
Have they ever done that? Have they ever had two Sunday night football games at the same time?

Speaker 1 That would be incredible. Now we're just talking out of our ass, but that would be wild.
I like the Niners in this. Yeah, I think so, too.
These teams are so even. The Niners are so even.

Speaker 1 The way that they manhandled the Patriots last week.

Speaker 1 How about the Niners? Credit to the Niners being dead against the Dolphins. Remember the Niners losing to the Dolphins by a billion? They were dead.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say that I think that the Seahawks defense, I'm going to use the S-word. I think they're soft.

Speaker 1 I think they're soft. Suss, sus.
Sus, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what? Cereble. You know what I'm doing right now? I'm giving side-eye.

Speaker 1 I'm throwing shade. Yeah.
All the S-words for Seattle's defense. No, they're really good.
I think that the Niners come out and just absolutely take their soul from them. I'm excited for that game.

Speaker 1 And then Cowboys, Eagles, this game sucks.

Speaker 1 It does suck, but Gucci DiNucci. Gucci Denucci.
Is he officially starting? Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 1 I said it one time. Is Andy Dalton alive? Yeah, no, he is starting.
No, Gucci DiNucci. Who's starting? Gucci Denucci.
Andy Dalton. Is Andy Dalton alive? He's alive.
Confirmed alive.

Speaker 1 Are we sure concussion protein?

Speaker 1 According to Adam Scheft, that's a HIPAA violation, actually, Schefter confirming that he's not dead. Dude, by the way, how about Schefter doing like, I'm a nerd, I'm fucking cool.

Speaker 1 He spelled out MRI the other day. Did you see that on a tweet? What is it? Medical.

Speaker 1 What's the actual thing? Resistance mirror. R is for radiation.

Speaker 1 We have radiation imaging or something. He wrote it out like, cool, Schefter.
You fucking know. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 aeric resonance imaging. That was quick, Jake.
Here's a here's not radiation, Billy.

Speaker 1 A little underrated storyline going into this game is the two quarterbacks, James Madison against North Dakota State University. So DiNucci against Carson Wentz.

Speaker 1 These are the two teams that always get together in Frisco every year. And North Dakota State always beats the shit out of James Madison.
And the Cowboys are 0-7 against the spread.

Speaker 1 So they would be tied for the record if they lose against the spread this week, 0-8. Two other teams have done it in history.
No team has gone 0-9 to start the season against the spread.

Speaker 1 As a football team football fan, which team should I be rooting for this weekend? I feel like I'm rooting for the Cowboys because the Cowboys pose

Speaker 1 less of a chance to go 6-10 as the Eagles do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's talk this out because, yes, the Cowboys would keep the Washington football team alive, but if you're a Washington football team fan, you kind of, there's like a small party that probably wants a quick and painless death.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 No, I have suffered many quick and painless deaths. Right.
I just

Speaker 1 my entire life as a football fan has been

Speaker 1 0% chance

Speaker 1 that you're going to make the playoffs, so just let it happen. I don't think there's 0% chance.
I think, of course, there's more than a 0% chance. I think it's like

Speaker 1 30% chance that Washington football team makes a playoffs. 30? 30%.

Speaker 1 I'd say it's like 60%

Speaker 1 the Eagles. Carson Wentz gets an Seven Jalen Hurst would probably.
Yeah, 60% the Eagles, and then 10% the Giants, and then 30% us. Cowboys, 0%.
Okay. Yeah, maybe, man.
Maybe, maybe somewhere 20%.

Speaker 1 So I think I'm rooting for the Giants. Yeah, so you're rooting for the Cowboys.
Okay. But then the Cowboys would be ahead of you.

Speaker 1 That's fine, but I have less confidence in them being able to keep it up over the course of an entire season. Yeah, that's probably true.
Plus Gucci Denucci. Yeah, plus Gucci Denucci.
All right.

Speaker 1 Should we do, speaking of Gucci Denucci, should we do fantasy father, or what are we doing? Fantasy Daddy. Fantasy Daddies, yeah.
Fantasy Daddies. Before we get to Fantasy Daddies.
What's up, guys?

Speaker 1 It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Fantasy Daddies!

Speaker 1 What's up, Daddies? Hey, guys. Hey, Daddy.
Oh, my God, your pants look so cute. Suck hole.

Speaker 1 Okay. My stardom this week is spooky season.

Speaker 1 It's spooky season, bitches. I've got goosebumps.
Throw on your skimpiest, most problematic, slutty outfit and go out and get spooky.

Speaker 1 Even though you can't get COVID if you're dressed a little skimpy. Yeah.
I thought I was a cat again this year. My son

Speaker 1 is Kim Kardashian's toes.

Speaker 1 What? Her kids. What did she do with them? She put out a pick of her feet, and she has six toes.
Wait, for real though? Literally six toes. No, like literally six.
She looks like a frog-footed freak.

Speaker 1 Billy's gonna want to fuck her. She should go on really fast.

Speaker 1 Billy wants to gluck gluck those toes to death. And then my

Speaker 1 speaker is LeVayon Belle. Le Veon.
Le Veyon Bell revenge game against the Jets.

Speaker 1 He's going to go up like when your boyfriend breaks up with you and you look super hot and go hook up with a guy just to get the other team jealous. Yeah, LeVayon.
I call it.

Speaker 1 That's what LeVayon's going to do to the Jets this weekend. Leveon, Belle, because he plays like a pussy.

Speaker 1 So bad.

Speaker 1 So bad.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's up, daddies? This is Carmelo Moscato. I'm starting this weekend, Gucci Denucci.
Get this wet-ass Denucci all up on the screen.

Speaker 1 My cousin went to college with him and said his mom got kicked out of B-dubs on parents' weekend because she tried to stab the bartender because she brought in her Pekinese and they wouldn't serve the dog a cranberry juice.

Speaker 1 Really fucked up. So

Speaker 1 man. I'm sitting

Speaker 1 on guys who wear leather jackets. Or guys who don't wear leather jackets, excuse me.

Speaker 1 Because you look through history, you got the Fons, Top Gunn, and Richard Deutsch, all the sexiest dudes, always wearing leather jackets all the time.

Speaker 1 What about Buzz Bissinger? Buzz Bissinger, Leather Daddy, extraordinary.

Speaker 1 More like daddies of anarchy. Daddies of Anarchy.
I'll let you hop on my

Speaker 1 daddy.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is guys that wear pinstripe pants. Oh, I love God.
Nothing makes a guy. Luck luck him on site.

Speaker 1 Nothing makes a guy with no ass look like he's packing a Larry Fitzgerald booty like a pair of pajamas that he bought from the 1915 Chicago White Sox. You're super cap bitch, you know that?

Speaker 1 I just love how pinstriped pants look on a guy.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 make that ass really pop. I just like to drop it, pop it, and lock it.
And you went and told everyone? I just love it. True.
I just love it.

Speaker 1 All right, what's up, guys? It's Tiffany or Tiff.

Speaker 1 My stardom is Tony LaBrusa. That is all-time Zaddy Vibes.
What is Zaddy, by the way? Why do they say Zaddy? It's like daddy of at the end of the alphabet. Oh, Zaddy.
He's the new man. The boss daddy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's the new manager for the White Sox. He's like a billion years old, but he's still a Zaddy.
He's hot, Zelda. He's hot.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 He had pink eye that one time, so he knows he eats ass. Yeah, and total daddy move to fall asleep when you're too drunk to drive your car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, daddy.

Speaker 1 My sitim is razor blades. Usually using them to make sure that your puss puss is nice and clean, but it's Halloween.
So watch out for those razor blades in your candy. Spooky season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, spooky season, but keep the puss puss clean.

Speaker 1 Keep that pus puss clean.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 when you finish shaving your puss puss, throw the razor blades in the trash. Do not leave them out for creepers to put them in candy.
You know what's hot to do on Halloween?

Speaker 1 If you just put like six packs of Smarties into your puss puss.

Speaker 1 You just kind of squirt them out one at a time. Go gobble that cooch and eat your sugar, honey.

Speaker 1 And then my sit-up, my sleeper, is, we already talked about it, but daylight savings, fall forward, an extra hour. You lose an hour, so it's falling forward.

Speaker 1 Like when you've had a few too many martinis and you fall down drunk because you are a hot man.

Speaker 1 You know what I like to do during daylight savings time when you fall forward, any guy that you sleep within that hour doesn't count towards your toe, it doesn't count towards your number.

Speaker 1 You could fuck anybody.

Speaker 1 It could be a virgin wearing pinstripe pants. It will not count.
I hope Gucci Nucci falls forward and splits his head open and dies.

Speaker 1 You're such a bitch. I love you.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Do I have to? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What up is Vinny Barberino? My stardom is your mother.

Speaker 1 My sit him is Julian Edelman. His knee is fucked.
My sleeper is deli meat because everyone's saying there's listeria in it, but you gotta enjoy your gabagoul, even if it means the gaba ghoul flew.

Speaker 1 And that's my sleeper.

Speaker 1 Alright.

Speaker 1 Good job, Billy.

Speaker 1 You're too fucking manly to do delivery. Daddy.
I just,

Speaker 1 I didn't prepare. Yeah, daddy.

Speaker 1 I mean, we told you before. I know, but we had.
Yeah. I also agree.
I honestly

Speaker 1 don't know what to do with you.

Speaker 1 It's fucked up that the U.S. government is telling us not to eat lunch anymore.
Exactly. What else am I supposed to eat for lunch besides? They said get rid of the deli meat.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, because

Speaker 1 just salami, right? Ampersciutto. But not turkey.
Ham. I think they just said lunch meats.
They said whole lunch meats? Yeah. What the fuck, dude? I will not.
I will not go.

Speaker 1 First, they came for the soprasada, and I said nothing. That's bullshit.
Little follow-up from Wednesday's show.

Speaker 1 Did you have a good reaction online to the pants?

Speaker 1 I don't check my mentions. I got it.
Overall, would you say it was positive or negative? Listen, if I live my life based off the reaction I get from the fans of the show, I wouldn't be here.

Speaker 1 So I just try and block it out. But it was negative.
It was overly negative. No,

Speaker 1 it was negative. It was overly negative.
Hank, can I be honest with you? I didn't think that the pants were that bad. But the joy they bring is nothing to me, PFT.
The joy they brought.

Speaker 1 The joy they brought to this podcast as a whole. That was the best part about the whole thing is that we're used to what you wear, PFT.

Speaker 1 So, when we took the picture, everyone's like, wait, are we talking about PFT or are we talking about Hank? Well, it's also fucked up. I got set up.

Speaker 1 He bought me those pants. Yeah, sure.
He jumped through you up. It was part of a jumpstart.
You can't buy me the pants and then be like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 Oh, I got you a jump shoot if you want to set you up. It would be one thing.
That was an ultimate setup. It was a big-time setup.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you buy me a pair of pinstripe cargo pants, which people didn't even mention the fact they were cargo pants, I will wear them. All right.

Speaker 1 Honestly, and this is my own fault. I like,

Speaker 1 I don't take a lot of time to get dressed. I usually literally pick up the first thing that's like close to me, and I put it on.
Same thing. And those pants were on the top of my laundry thing.

Speaker 1 I had just done laundry. And I put them on.
I was like, I would never wear these to work, but I was like, fuck it. No one's going to say anything because who really is going to end.

Speaker 1 Everyone's nice here.

Speaker 1 It's fall, though. You're getting your fit off.
Yeah, that is a good question. Where would I wear those?

Speaker 1 If I was like in the summertime at a bar on a boat,

Speaker 1 you wear cargo pants on a boat? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're the only person who would ever wear pants on a boat besides Odell Beckham. Yeah.
I thought that was like when you were like painting a fence. You'd wear those.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's how you got it, like the mentos. When was the last time you went out, big cat? Never.
Except,

Speaker 1 don't judge me on what I was wearing for that. I am shaming you.
No, you can't. You're trying to shame me for wearing going out pants.
You don't know what going out looks like.

Speaker 1 I know it doesn't look like that. I think you did because you haven't gone out.
Yeah. Well, actually, the last time I went out, those pants were probably cool.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
In 1920. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Big cat cocktail because you saw him in a Papa Roach music video. He was like, yeah, this is going to be sick.
Why are we still talking about this? Play Barcelona. Go 8 for 8.
One weekend only.

Speaker 1 Download it now. One weekend only.
If we get 200,000 contests, I'll get a cat. Oh, whoa.
Wait, wait, what? Wait, huh?

Speaker 1 Record stop. 200,000? Contest entries, yeah.
Overall.

Speaker 1 Overall

Speaker 1 season. Yeah.
We're approaching 17,000. We have over 100,000 people that have downloaded the app so far, though, so they're out there.
No, so then it should be 100,000.

Speaker 1 If every person who I said what I said. All right.
At any point this year.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 This weekend, for sure. No, total? No, no.
Hank was saying total.

Speaker 1 At some point in this season, if we get 200,000 people to play on a single weekend.

Speaker 1 This weekend, if there's 200,000 people in the contest, I will get a cat. 50K, can we burn the cat? You want to kill the cat? Yeah, burn the cat.
No, burn the cat. 100K, we can burn the pants.

Speaker 1 No, I don't want Hank to burn the pants.

Speaker 1 100K, I'll wear the pants for a week straight. I would be so upset.
I'd rather just get burned. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'd rather you can. 100K, we can frame the pants and hang them in the studio.
Again, rather than it's such a waste of those pants. 100k, I'll sign the pants and give them to a listener.
No, they're.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a listener wants that. They're like

Speaker 1 100 street-level meth dealers that would kill for those pants. Is there $1,000 in the pants pocket when you give them away? It's the only way that's valuable.
All right, let's get to Coacho.

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Speaker 1 Now here he is, Coach O.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very good friend, recurring guest, national champion. And now he's got a book.
It is Coach O.

Speaker 1 His book is out. It's called Flip the Script, Lessons Learned on the Road to a Championship.

Speaker 1 Let's start with the book. We've got a lot of things we want to get to, but

Speaker 1 pardon my take is in this book, is it not?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Y'all were very influential again, Joe Burrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 His brother Dan will listen to you guys, and that was a big connection for us.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So,

Speaker 1 Bruce Feldman, you work with Bruce Feldman and writing this book, and I was talking to him

Speaker 1 a couple weeks ago, and he said that part of my take has a mention in this book that our,

Speaker 1 you know, Dan Burrow, listening to part of my take, helped influence Joe to be like, hey, those guys are cool. They went and met with Coach O.

Speaker 1 And so, so, I mean,

Speaker 1 did we win a national champion? When are we getting our ring, I guess, is really the question.

Speaker 5 It's on the way. Send me the address.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, done.
Done. I will wear that ring everywhere.
We're going to send it to Derek right now. Absolutely.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you gone back and watched film of the national title game?

Speaker 5 You know what?

Speaker 5 During the COVID, when we were home, I watched way too much TV like everybody else. And all our games played.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 5 I was eager to watch them because I knew we'd win,

Speaker 5 especially the championship game. So I watched the film, obviously, but I watched the game several times on and off.
What a great game for outskull.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was awesome. And then obviously the morning after, Big Cat.
You should apologize. We sat down with you.
I'd like to apologize for our demeanor and our presence.

Speaker 1 After you were doing that interview, were you like, these two idiots are the drunkest bunch of shitheads that I've ever sat down with?

Speaker 5 Well, you in New Orleans, so that was kind of expected.

Speaker 1 Went in Rome, right?

Speaker 1 I would love it if we can get you on the New York Times bestseller list. Yes.
Wouldn't that be great? We got to get it. Ed Ogeron, best-selling author.
Yes. Last I saw you, you were on 60 Minutes.

Speaker 1 They did like a profile on you. I saw them talking to your mom, and your mom was like making gumbo for him.

Speaker 1 Was that, did she tone that down and make like the less spicy version for the 60 Minutes author? Was that the reality?

Speaker 5 No, she gave them the real deal. That's all she knows how to make.
Uh-huh. A great seafood gumbo.
They loved her. I think they stayed with her for about six hours.

Speaker 5 They said they could have stayed there for a day or two.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.

Speaker 1 All right. So the book, flip the script.
What can we get a good Coach O story that can entice people to go buy the book?

Speaker 1 Like, do we have any good news stories maybe from your youth or from your start as coaching days?

Speaker 1 What's the story that we can get everyone like, hey, you got to have this book now because it's Coach O?

Speaker 5 The reason I did the book is because everybody has a dream, man.

Speaker 5 And my dream is different than yours. But I want everybody to chase their dream.
My dream was to be the head coach of LSU Tigers at six years old. I went through a lot of adversity.

Speaker 5 You know, I thought I was going to get the job at USC, but come to find out is the best thing that ever happened to me. I came home and I fought to get the job at LSU.

Speaker 5 And, you know, you look at the inside, especially. the last three days going into

Speaker 5 me getting the job. There's a lot of information there, I think, that nobody ever knew before.
And we fought to the very end and got the job. So everybody chased their dream, man.

Speaker 5 Everybody's got a dream. My dream is to be the head coach of LSU.

Speaker 1 That's fantastic. So at what point after you win the national title, did it fully, fully set in that you reached your entire dream? Like that's that's such a crazy thing.

Speaker 1 Most people, they have dreams all their life. They don't actually achieve them.

Speaker 1 Was it immediately after? Was it a month after? Has it still not happened? Has it like fully set in? Like, oh my God, I won a national title, one of the best college teams of all time with LSU.

Speaker 5 You know, it's crazy. The next day, I said, we've got to do it again.
So I didn't spend a lot of time in Jordan, to be honest with you.

Speaker 5 But on the way home, the people on the side of the roads cheering us, going to the White House,

Speaker 5 having a parade on campus and the celebrations, all that was great. The way our people treated us.
But you know what? We really didn't get to celebrate it much because we went into COVID and

Speaker 5 we were all quarantined or inside for about three months. So it seemed like it passed by very fast.

Speaker 1 Did you get to have a moment with Mike the Tiger after you came home from the national championship? Did you get to show him the trophy?

Speaker 5 Yo, I always go see Mike. I run everything in our pass-by's cage for a reason.

Speaker 5 He's something I remember when they used to have him in the cage coming around the stadium when I was a young boy. I couldn't wait to see him come out.

Speaker 5 I remember when we came in from University of Miami, they had him in the visitor's dressing room, and he was roaring. Our players were afraid to get out the dressing room.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can imagine. So, Big Cap brings up a good point because

Speaker 1 you accomplished your goal. You became head coach of Louisiana State.
You won a national championship. From that point on,

Speaker 1 how do you keep yourself motivated to keep moving forward and to keep going out there and having that same fiery competition that you're known for as an underdog?

Speaker 1 How do you keep that going once it's expected now for you to win all the time? Yeah. Well, you know,

Speaker 5 we just get started. We didn't come here just to win one.
We want to win several. I mean, LSU, you can.

Speaker 5 We've got to continue the recruiting. You know, we had a disappointing start this season.
My team played better on Saturday night. We're going to take it one game at a time.

Speaker 5 There's 20 or 22 guys from that championship team are going. These guys are learning how to play.
I got to be patient with them.

Speaker 5 We had four excellent freshmen, as you saw last Saturday night, play lights out football. So the future is bright, Felisu.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was shocked.

Speaker 1 Did you know the stat that they flashed across the TV screen when the kick return went back on Saturday night that LSU had not returned a touchdown on a kickoff since 1981 at Tiger Stadium?

Speaker 1 I was shocked by that. That was an insane stat.
Did you know that stat? You love this.

Speaker 5 In our coaches meeting.

Speaker 5 Derek Paneski, who knows all the history of LSU, knows every play

Speaker 5 ever ran here, told Coach Smack that. He said, Coach, we ain't had a kickoff return since 1981.
You think you can do it tonight?

Speaker 1 Really? That night. So on Saturday night, he said that.

Speaker 5 That's incredible. Yeah, before the game.
Yeah, before the game. So that's the only time I had heard that.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. That's like, I mean, that's great time.
That gives me chills just thinking about. That means that

Speaker 1 you got that Cajun Juju coming back. You know, LSU's coming back right here.
After maybe a little bit of a slow start, we're ready to go. Yeah, has there been a difference in Tell the Truth Mondays?

Speaker 1 Because I I know that around here, we always say we took that from you. Mondays are for telling the truth.

Speaker 1 And there probably wasn't as much truth to be told last season when you're winning every game and blowing everybody out. Have things gotten like a little more feisty?

Speaker 1 You have to take your shirt off and try to fight anybody again like old days?

Speaker 5 No, no. I just tell them, you know, what we got to get done.
You know, really, I put it on the coaches. I expect two things, man.
I asked the coaches, hey, we got to coach this football team better.

Speaker 5 I asked the players to stay together, and they have.

Speaker 5 And I'm proud of that. I think you can see improvement in our football team, and hopefully you can see more improvement this week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The other thing that Bruce asked me to ask you,

Speaker 1 why does Stephen Jones, Jerry Jones' son, call you hip sled Ed?

Speaker 5 Y'all are going to love this story.

Speaker 5 On Thursday morning, I had to work out players that maybe were late for curfew or Mr. Class, whatever it may be, that was on the run list.

Speaker 5 So instead of running them outside, we put them on the hip sled. I was a young coach and Stephen was there a couple of times, like other players, and I was working him out.

Speaker 5 Beads of sweat was coming and

Speaker 5 getting after him pretty good. And after he left, and one of my coworkers, I just got to Arkansas, he said, man.

Speaker 5 You got some guts. I said, why? He goes, you know who that is?

Speaker 5 I said, yeah, that's Stephen. He plays outside linebacker.
You go, no, that's Stephen Jones, Jerry Jones's son. I went, who's Jerry?

Speaker 5 I didn't know, but you know what? Stephen Jones, they tried to hire me at the Cowboys ever since has respected me because I didn't treat him like Jerry Jones' son.

Speaker 5 I treat him like another football player. And he and I have a great relationship all throughout the years.

Speaker 1 Right. Wow.
And the hip sled ed is a great nickname. I like that.
Yeah, I treat him no differently. Did you get, were there any NFL teams that kind of like sniffed around the bushes this offseason?

Speaker 1 They were like, hey, maybe we'll give Coach O a call and see if he's interested and come up to the post. Not that you ever would, but I'm curious if anybody asked.

Speaker 5 No, no. No, they know I'm not leaving here.
No, I'm here, man. I'm home.

Speaker 5 My feet are planted here.

Speaker 1 Is your goal to just coach there until you retire, until you're like, you know, 75, 80 years old? Or what's that look like?

Speaker 5 I would love that opportunity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would love that.

Speaker 1 How's How's the running in the sun going? Because I feel like ever since we talked about it, Ray Baker, a couple years ago, I get tagged.

Speaker 1 PFT and I, and the pardon my take, Twitter account, we get tagged all the time in videos of you running around on campus underneath Ray Baker, just getting friends with Ray Baker.

Speaker 1 Are you training for something? You're going to run a marathon? What's going on?

Speaker 5 No, man.

Speaker 5 You know what?

Speaker 5 During the COVID, we had a lot of time off, and I'm single now, so I have

Speaker 5 a lot of time.

Speaker 5 So I decided to start running two hours a day on the weekends. Whoa.
Two hours on Friday, two hours on Saturday, two hours on Sunday, in the sun at 12 o'clock. And I'd go run some stadiums.

Speaker 5 I think I lost about 25 pounds, feel better. But I love to run and now I have free time.
And so I'm with Ray Baker as much as I can.

Speaker 1 So you're running. I didn't notice any headphones in.
Are you running with no music?

Speaker 5 I got enough noise in my head. I don't need no music.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. Two hours on Friday, two hours Saturday, two hours Sunday, no music, just sitting out there in the Louisiana sun, just roasting.

Speaker 1 That's a football guy. Yeah, loving it.
What are you thinking about when you're running? Are you thinking about work or do you just turn your head off? Everything.

Speaker 5 Everything passes my mind. You know, I get clarity.
I think I get ideas for work. I get ideas for recruiting.
I think about my family. I think about other things.

Speaker 5 I enjoy it. I really enjoy it.
You know what? I met a lot of great people on my run. I mean, people stop,

Speaker 5 want to take pictures with Coach O and get to meet a lot of people. So it's been fun.

Speaker 1 Plus, if you drop 20 pounds, like you might as well flaunt it, right? Take the shirt off. Yeah.
Show off the six-pack that you're working on.

Speaker 1 You're more than willing to take pictures.

Speaker 1 What's your mile time? It doesn't look like you're burning up the track, but it does look like you're keeping that same.

Speaker 1 You're not going to be stopped. You're like a cannonball.

Speaker 5 No, no, it's a slow. It's a slow old man's run.

Speaker 5 I've been ridiculed for that. You know what I told them? Hey, when you're 59,

Speaker 5 you run like you want.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That's what I'm saying. Like, you're moving.
You're not stopping. You're keeping a pace that's going.
If you can keep anything up for two hours, then that's more than I can do.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Have you run on the beach since that fall, since that viral fall?

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 no, I haven't been back to the destiny.

Speaker 1 That was it.

Speaker 1 That was enough. That's smart.
Yeah, just keep to the pavement now. No more chasing.

Speaker 1 I think you were chasing a little kid on the beach and you fell. That was an all-time video that was not you for anyone who doesn't understand the joke there.

Speaker 1 But so how do you think, have you been able to watch Joe Burrow play in the pros yet? Have you been able to watch any football on Sundays?

Speaker 5 You know, not much, but I've seen some highlights. He's doing very well.
He's getting hit and sacked a lot.

Speaker 5 And Joe's a competitor. And it was three, 300 yards game he had as the first rookie quarterback to do that.
I was very proud of him. Joe's going to get a supporting crash.

Speaker 5 He's going to be a championship quarterback, quarterback, no doubt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would say the one thing, you know, he has been hit a lot, but his, and we talked about this on the show, his toughness will get him, you know, that locker room so quickly because he's just a tough guy who, you know, he's gotten hit so hard sometimes.

Speaker 1 You're like, how did he just get up? And he gets up next play. And I feel like that's instant respect in an NFL locker room.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know, the harder you hit Joe,

Speaker 5 the tougher he gets.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 he's taking some hits for us. And that fiestimo hit he took.
And I didn't know if he was going to get out. I was calling for Miles to come in.
He goes,

Speaker 5 one explicit word, no,

Speaker 5 I'm not getting out.

Speaker 5 And he just turned it on.

Speaker 5 That ignites him.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 It's a good quality to have. Like the harder they come at you, the harder you come at them over the top.

Speaker 1 Because you're never going to win that battle if you keep going at them.

Speaker 1 So there was that one story that came out last year about your recruiting of Joe. It might be in the book even of how you brought your own crawfish to, was it Mike Anderson?

Speaker 1 Is that where you guys were at?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 now that that story's out, do you find that recruits are they come and they meet with you and they sit down for dinner and they're expecting you to do something like just bring a 50 pound sack of crawfish over your shoulder like your Santa Claus?

Speaker 5 Hey, I'll do it for anyone that becomes a Heinz Trophy winner. I promise you that.
I'll give them a hundred pounds if they want.

Speaker 1 You know, it was a funny story.

Speaker 5 We got to Mike Anderson's. Joe wanted crawfish, and there was none.

Speaker 5 And so we had to call around to some other restaurants and get it and bring it through the kitchen. Yeah.
And it worked out fine.

Speaker 1 Right now,

Speaker 1 we ever bought. Right now, I know it's not crawfish season, but if it were in season right now, what is the ETA? Like, how quickly...

Speaker 1 Could you get a bag of crawfish in your office door if you were to just make a phone call?

Speaker 5 It takes 20 minutes to ball it. We can have it here in 40 minutes.

Speaker 1 Perfect. That's awesome.
Just on speed dial, crawfish on speed dial.

Speaker 1 Are you going to make your book required reading for all recruits to come in, for everyone who comes and attends? Because that would be smart. That would get us on the bestseller list.

Speaker 1 Everyone who puts on a uniform has got to read the book.

Speaker 5 That's right. Yeah.
This will be optional. I think people are going to like it.
It's going to catch fire. People are going to like it.
Some good stories in there, some good insights too.

Speaker 1 At the very least, it should be a textbook for all incoming freshmen at LSU in the philosophy classes that should be like the very first thing that they read are you going to do the voiceover for the audio version of the book yo i may do that uh people ask about that i hear about it but when i get a chance not i can't do it now but maybe at the end of the season i may do it yes yes yes um

Speaker 1 so this this like uh you know coronavirus and everything when when it felt like football was going to be taken away Tell me how, like, I mean, we love football. Did it hurt?

Speaker 1 What were you thinking when it was like, oh, man, we might not have a season?

Speaker 1 Because we've heard from different football guys across the country, like Scott Frost said he wanted to play in Uzbekistan. I'd imagine you had the same mindset, like, we got to play football.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there was no doubt in my mind. In my mind, I wasn't going to let my mind go anywhere else.
We were playing football, and I was going to coach this team like we're playing football. Now,

Speaker 5 if circumstances happened that they told us that we couldn't play, I'd have known I did everything I could every day to prepare this football team. And we did that.
And I asked the team to do that.

Speaker 5 So we have a saying here, we we don't blink. We didn't blink.
We put the safety of our young men first in COVID.

Speaker 5 We gave them a lot of education, gave them the best care that we could, and went about our business on a daily basis.

Speaker 1 Do you find that it's more difficult to yell at officials through a mask? Yeah.

Speaker 5 I had to get a mask where you can hear my voice, but

Speaker 5 the first couple of games, I was quiet on the sideline because I couldn't yell through a mask. I got a mask that

Speaker 5 Derek and I practiced in the room. I was yelling to make sure that they can hear hear me yell.

Speaker 1 You really do have to enunciate more because they can't see your lips.

Speaker 1 There's none of that, like, you know, there's none of the lip rating that goes along where you can tell what somebody's saying if they're standing far away from you. So, yeah, you really got to.

Speaker 1 I'm glad that you're getting practice time in on that too. And I'm sure Derek's really enjoying just being screamed at.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. We got to ask because we always have to ask when you're on.

Speaker 1 Still three plates? Bench?

Speaker 5 What's that?

Speaker 1 Can you still bench three plates? plates?

Speaker 5 You know what?

Speaker 5 I got to tell you guys,

Speaker 5 I probably could. Uh-oh.
I got to admit it. I have not admitted this, okay? I've got a torn rotator cuff for the last two years.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 5 And I can only close

Speaker 5 dumbbell press. That's it.
I can't bench press no more. It's been about two years.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 maybe I can get it fixed, but once I get it fixed, I guarantee I'll do it again. I'll give you my labrum.

Speaker 1 I'll give you my shoulder if you need one. So that means right this second, I still think you'd get it up with a torn rotator cuff, but what you're saying is

Speaker 1 you haven't let anyone know, but you know, if push came to shove and was like, hey, if you were in this studio right now, we're like, here, put this up, you would do it, but you'd be in a lot of pain.

Speaker 1 But you'd do it, right?

Speaker 1 No questions.

Speaker 5 I give it all I have.

Speaker 5 You guys are so close to me. You're the only guys that know this.

Speaker 5 I'll let you break the story of my torn rotator.

Speaker 1 We won't tell you anybody. Wait, don't say which one it is because we don't want to give the opponents any

Speaker 1 hints.

Speaker 1 They'll start going after that arm. So we're not going to say which one.
It's just a tornado

Speaker 1 rotator cuff. All right.

Speaker 1 Did I read right that The Rock wrote the forward to this book? Say that again. Did The Rock write the introduction to this book? Yes.
Did I read that correctly?

Speaker 1 So did you reach out to him personally this offseason or has he just, I have to assume that he was probably in touch a little bit during your championship rung last year. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. You know, he and I has made contact throughout the years.
We were very close.

Speaker 5 Congratulations on the championship. And then when it came to the book, I knew that it would help the book if Rock would write the forward.

Speaker 5 And he and I had a great relationship, so I asked him to do it. Derek reached out to his manager.
He responded to us right away. I think he did it in the day.
You know,

Speaker 5 his nickname is Dewey. I used to call him Dewey.

Speaker 5 And he's still the same humble guy that I knew

Speaker 5 when we coached him at Miami. A great young man, great character person.

Speaker 1 Did you help come up with the nickname, The Rock?

Speaker 5 No, no, not at all. Not at all.

Speaker 1 You can take credit for it.

Speaker 1 Take credit for it. It's fine.

Speaker 5 I helped toughen him up. I'll tell you that.

Speaker 1 There you go. Then you did.
Then you turned him into a rock. Absolutely.
Had to take credit for it then. You absolutely should do that.

Speaker 1 All right, Cocho, this has been awesome. I had one last question.
The final question is brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage America's crazy good mortgage company.

Speaker 1 Go to ccmlends.com/slash take to learn more about your future home, buying experience, or refinancing needs equal housing opportunity we talked about at the beginning but when we did interview last time did you it was right after the national title we interviewed you uh pft and i were very drunk we interviewed joe burrow as well did you walk away from that being like what the heck is those those guys problem like how do you show up to an interview this drunk

Speaker 5 hey i i i was on about two hours of sleep uh still on cloud nine from winning the game and didn't notice none of it to be honest with you but you know what when you're in your audience that's what you do So I used to do that when I was young, too.

Speaker 5 So I'm glad that y'all had a good time.

Speaker 1 I thought the funniest part was right after we were done, and you were just like walking up and down the hallway, and you were yelling at Joe. You're like, get on the bus.

Speaker 1 You're going to be late for the bus. Like, even though he just won the national championship, it's like, we're not waiting for you, Joe.

Speaker 1 We'll leave your ass here in New Orleans if you're not on the bus back to Baton Rouge. Yeah.
That was great. Yes.
Well, Coach, thank you so much. Congrats on

Speaker 1 the book. Everyone, go get it.
Flip the script. we really appreciate it we appreciate your friendship and uh we look forward to getting our national championship rings that's gonna be awesome

Speaker 5 hey call Derek he's got it you guys do the best go tigers all right

Speaker 1 thanks coach take care

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Speaker 1 All right, let's finish up the show. We have, by the way, I just saw,

Speaker 1 we should have mentioned it. Do we think that Gardner Minshew maybe smashed his own hand like he told us? Absolutely.
So that he doesn't have to play for the Jaguars anymore? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 So Nathan Peterman, or not Nathan, excuse me, Mike Lennon. I interchanged them as former Raiders' backups.
Mike Lennon, I guess, is going to be starting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, Gardner Minshew has a fractured sprained ligament in his thumb, a fracture and a sprained ligament in his thumb.

Speaker 1 And it just seems very interesting because he, on our show, told us a story about how he smashed his own hand with a

Speaker 1 hammer after getting really, really drunk so that he could, what was it, so he could redshirt it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he wanted to take a medical red shirt. So maybe he thinks he can redshirt this season.
Possibly. And just smashing it again.

Speaker 1 I don't know, but I'm just, I'm upset because Gordon Minshew was what you tuned into when you wanted to watch the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 And going from Minshew to going to, you know, to Glennon, it's like, I mean, it's like going off cocaine and picking up kombucha.

Speaker 1 Mike Glennon will be interesting for a game, just to see what's going on with it. He'll be interesting to watch run off the bench onto the field with his head bobbing around.

Speaker 1 No, he'll do something funny.

Speaker 1 Interesting,

Speaker 1 don't confuse interesting for good. I'm not saying Mike Glennon's good.
I'm saying interesting in that it's like it's like seeing a car accident on the highway.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, I just want to see what, like, you know, you're rubbernecking. You're going to rubberneck Mike Glennon.
I even think a car accident is giving you too much credit.

Speaker 1 I think with Mike Glenn, it's just like, it's like seeing an unusually large squash at a farmer's market. Yeah.
It's like, oh, this is interesting. And then you just keep going.
All right.

Speaker 1 Firefest of the week to wrap up.

Speaker 1 I think we got some good ones this week. Hank?

Speaker 1 No, you're not you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I know. You go first, but we have some good ones.

Speaker 1 PFT died. Everyone knows my Fire Fest, my real Fire Fest.
We've talked about it.

Speaker 1 Ad Nauseum,

Speaker 1 Ad Museum.

Speaker 1 My other one is also Play Barcelona. Wait, what's your real Fire Fest? Oh, I wore pants.
Oh, the pants.

Speaker 1 Hank, you brought us so much joy, though. Yeah, it really was great.

Speaker 1 Who bought the pants?

Speaker 1 I did. They're nice pants.
Were you drunk? Nope. Okay.

Speaker 1 You guys don't understand fashion, big cat. You don't have a social life, so

Speaker 1 you don't understand. PFT literally is blind.
That's why he has to wear sunglasses and he dresses blind every day. What's wrong with this?

Speaker 1 And Billy doesn't wear shoelaces. The people I'm talking to are not the people I'm worried about in regards to fashion.
So, once again, that was Firefest Part 1. Firefest Part 2.

Speaker 1 A kid won the $25,000 play Barcelon contest on Friday. I was pumped about it.
Then it turned out it was a kid that fucking worked here. That was a Firefest.
My third,

Speaker 1 not insider trading. Like when that one guy that worked for f ⁇ k used to win all the

Speaker 1 sweep out those two words.

Speaker 1 We have it in the rules and conditions of the app that employees are allowed to play. They're just not allowed to win.

Speaker 1 This kid thought he won and thought he was winning the 25K, so he had to find out. He thought he won $25,000 and I had to to be like, hey, man, congrats, you don't win shit.

Speaker 1 Well, they should have given it to the second place winner who also worked here. Yeah.
No, there was

Speaker 1 no, no, I hope you guys are misconfident. Anyway, I'm not talking about that one.
I'm not talking about that. No, 12 people got

Speaker 1 split the second place contest. I just, my third buyer fast is I got off the train today thinking it was 28th Street, it was 23rd Street, it was pouring rain.
I had to walk from 23rd Street to here.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, are you okay? Yeah, I was wearing a rain jacket. I actually went to our old office and I put in the Uber 17th Street.
It's 27th. How, like, that's just fucking.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I literally, he pulled up and he's like, all right, we're here. I was like, no, we're not.
The worst is

Speaker 1 when you tell an Uber to pick you up at your house, but for whatever reason, the location has you being like five blocks away or four blocks away. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then you feel embarrassed, so you just get out of your front door and jog. Yeah.
Days ruined.

Speaker 1 Days ruined. No jogging.

Speaker 1 Is that it, Hank? Just three of them? Yep. Okay, my firefest is I died.
You died. I died on

Speaker 1 Wednesday, on Wednesday morning. I died.

Speaker 1 Right after we got done recording part of my take on Tuesday night/slash early Wednesday morning when the World Series was over, I let Leroy out, come back inside, go to sleep.

Speaker 1 My whoop app tells me I go to sleep at, I think it was like 1.15,

Speaker 1 and then I just didn't wake up. I guess I forgot to set an alarm.

Speaker 1 But usually, my body is so finely in tune with the circadian rhythms of the world and the sun that I'll wake up at like 9 o'clock, 9.30, 9.45 at at the very latest if I go to bed at like 2 o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 1 In this case, I didn't wake up. I just kept sleeping.
Leroy didn't wake me up to go outside. He was still snoring by my side.
I roll over. I look at my phone.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking, oh, I woke up before my alarm went off. It must be 7.30 or 8 o'clock in the morning.
Nope. My phone says that it's 12.10 in the afternoon.
I woke up at 12.10.

Speaker 1 I just had like a list of, I don't know, dozens of text messages from Big Cat, from Liz, from everybody, just being like, Are you dead? Are you alive? Because I missed radio from Jeff Lowe.

Speaker 1 I slept all the way through radio, looked at my phone. There's no, I was so rested because I had had 10 hours of sleep, which I'd never get in my entire life.

Speaker 1 I was so rested, but I look, I awake to that phone, and I immediately feel like I had the worst night's sleep of all time because of all the anxiety.

Speaker 1 So, all day on Wednesday, I felt like I had died, and I was, it was just like, I was a ball of anxiety all day. I still never recovered.
Did you, um, yeah, I mean, I would be very anxious.

Speaker 1 You, I legitimately was like, I didn't even think about it until, because we don't see each other in the morning on Wednesdays. So I didn't think about it until Liz texted me.

Speaker 1 He was like, hey, have you talked to PFT? I was like, huh? And then I looked at your Twitter. I was like, oh, he hasn't tweeted.
Oh, this is weird.

Speaker 1 I still can't believe he did it. I know.
I can't believe he slept that late. Like, I would never

Speaker 1 be able to sleep. all the way till 12.
I've never slept that late. I don't think in my entire life have I gone to bed and slept for a solid 10 hours.
Jesus. Ever.
It was crazy. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 I blame the weather. The sun never came out.
I'm basically blaming everybody but myself for not setting an alarm. But it did shock me.
It was like a wake-up call in a weird way. That's kind of ironic.

Speaker 1 But I was like, you know what? I need to have an alarm that is set for every single day of the week because usually I just change my alarm time by what I have to do the next day.

Speaker 1 But then I realized, you know what, PFT? For the last like two years, you've had to get up. by nine o'clock, kind of at the very, very latest.

Speaker 1 So why don't you just make that an everyday occurrence during the week? So, now I have two alarms set: one for nine o'clock, one for nine: 15. I think you just turned 28.
I think I just did.

Speaker 1 I think you turned 28 years old. That's a little sign of maturing.
But seriously, like,

Speaker 1 I felt so bad.

Speaker 1 It was awful. Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 that's scary. And people were like, Are you okay? Is everything all right? This is, you know, what the worst was.

Speaker 1 I got like five or six texts, or just people like saying face-to-face, like, this is so unlike you. Yeah.
And I was like, fuck.

Speaker 1 That's like your parents telling you that they're disappointed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was scary. I know.

Speaker 1 He's dead.

Speaker 1 I guess I was just tired. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was very weird. What, Billy? Here, Billy looks like.
Is there any compounding factors to this?

Speaker 1 Are you on jury? This is what I've had to deal with, which it makes me feel guilty. Yeah.
But I don't have anything to feel guilty about. It sounds like you need an alibi.

Speaker 1 I didn't have anything to drink. I didn't take any medicine.
I didn't have any NyQuil. You're not a drug guy.
I'm not. I'm actually, that's the other thing.
You're not a drug guy.

Speaker 1 I'm literally not a drug guy. Right, not a drug guy.
I can show you. Not a drug guy.
No melatonin, no, like vitamins, no supplements. Just not a drug guy.
I can show you my whoop app. Because it

Speaker 1 my whoop because it did track on Wednesday night or Tuesday night. And then when it had me waking up, my heart rate immediately spikes to like 120 because that's when I look at my phone.

Speaker 1 You know, a great alibi would be putting your whoop on a dog that sleeps all the time. Yeah.
You think.

Speaker 1 And then kicking him awake and being like, hey, wake up, Leroy. think, you think my work

Speaker 1 would register on a dog? Huh? Yeah, why not? Why not?

Speaker 1 By the way, while you pull that up, I totally forgot.

Speaker 1 Hank, you ready to grade my can't lose parlay? I totally forgot to give it. Can't lose parlay.
One last week, plus 350. Hank even said he's in on it this week, which I know is a lie.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll tell you the honest right now. Okay, tell me the honest.
Chiefs' money line. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Eagles' money line. Nope.
Against Cowboys? Maybe not. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Packers.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Daylight savings.
Daylight savings, yeah, that is true.

Speaker 1 Titans money line.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Against the Bengals.

Speaker 1 And then the Steelers adjusted to plus seven and a half.

Speaker 1 Maybe not. Really? So now I'm out.
I'm out of here. Wow.
It's plus 275. We're going to boost in the Barstool Sportsbook app.
I think it's can't lose. All right, Billy, show me where I put the banger.

Speaker 1 Whoop on Leroy.

Speaker 1 It's a banger of an can't lose. All right, we're looking.

Speaker 1 My heart rate steadily declines over the course of the night. Until you said legally, you said 48 beats per minute because I'm in great shape.

Speaker 1 Maybe you swap it real quick to Leroy before you let him out. Leroy's a big feature in this story.
It's probably true.

Speaker 1 I blame him because he was sleeping right next to me. I agree.
You know what? I agree. It is suspicious.
Very suspicious. It's very sus.
Silly percent. You are very sus right now.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest, two of them, Wisconsin's football season is over, pretty much. That sucked.

Speaker 1 And then the other one was I have a life insurance test this afternoon, and I haven't been able to use

Speaker 1 weed, nicotine, or anything all week. Ever.
No, change that up. You haven't been able to use nicotine all day.
All my life, 35 years, I have not been able to use any of those things.

Speaker 1 And it sucks, man. And you were going to.
Especially this week, it sucked more than ever.

Speaker 1 Usually it does.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sucked. You have to wait until after your test to use nicotine for the first time.
Yeah. And you were planning on using for the first time.
But I'll probably hate it. us this week.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you need to lower your blood pressure for it? Yeah. I mean, I have literally like four hours, dude.
We'll take a ton of argonine right now. Right now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right this second? Yeah. What is arganine?

Speaker 1 It's actually really good for vascularity and lowers your blood pressure. I'm just going to drink a shitload of water and hope for the best.

Speaker 1 Anyway, Dr. Billy.
Yeah. Billy is way too interested in my life insurance, by the way.
He definitely wants to kill me. Well, I wonder what PFT was doing

Speaker 1 during his sleep time. What?

Speaker 1 Try. I don't know.
There's something weird going on. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You got a life hour?

Speaker 1 Explain this. PFT's got unaccounted hours.

Speaker 1 You think I was... What do you think I was doing? Trying to die? Am I going to connect those dots? Keep going.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 if Big Hat disappears and then you disappear, and hey, it would be a really good life insurance scam if you two. But what does that have to do with him?

Speaker 1 Billy, are you saying that you're trying to kill both of us? No, maybe you. Did you slip something into my Red Bull that you purchased for us? We're going to disappear and do a podcast together? Hmm.

Speaker 1 Hmm. Huh.
Huh. Okay.
Jake, what's your fire fest?

Speaker 1 I have two as well. That you suck at announcing? My first.
Today, you suck today. My first is that I let the Stoolies down by saying the wrong score during Cornhole.
I felt bad. Damn it.

Speaker 1 Jake has been really down today. I feel terrible.

Speaker 1 Do you know what would bring them back onto your side? What?

Speaker 1 A little swear word.

Speaker 1 No. Like, what was going through your head when that happened? How pissed you? What did you say to yourself?

Speaker 1 I power through. You can't let the viewers note that you're mad.
What did you do?

Speaker 1 Did you screw something up? Did you fuck something up? Did you fudge it? What'd you fuck?

Speaker 1 Did you mess it up? You messed it up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you make a mess of yourself? Horse mess? Did you mess your pants? I was just like, that sucks. We got a messing problem? Yeah.
But you power through, and now he's Jenga Monday. You guys are both.

Speaker 1 Except for messing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll be there. 10 grand.
Wait, no, I'm not. Well, overall.
Oh, yes. I'm participating.
Yes. My second Fire Fest is I'm really starting to get worried about college basketball.

Speaker 1 Eight preseason tournaments got canceled in Orlando. What? Why?

Speaker 1 Because they just axed the Disney bubble. Fuck! If we don't March Madness this year,

Speaker 1 I know. Well,

Speaker 1 it's going to be weird because if they have to play so many games,

Speaker 1 if one team gets an outbreak, they basically have to forfeit for

Speaker 1 two conferences. 10 or 12 weeks.
Or 10 or 12 games. That might be the next step.
I'm fine with that. John Rossin is swinging out out the ACC Big Time Challenges right now, so hopefully.

Speaker 1 John Rossine, like, listen, John Rossin, I love him. I really do, but he will just keep tweeting through this.
He'll tweet,

Speaker 1 everything will be canceled, and he'll be like, Old Dominion just added Kansas on their schedule. Yep.
And like, John, it's not happening.

Speaker 1 It's going to be like election night.

Speaker 1 Florida's a whole schedule. Yeah.
Louder than a goat rodeo. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Florida's election returns are going to be coming in. He's going to be like, big news, Mercer just landed a grad transfer.
I actually, dude, this just came to me.

Speaker 1 When we were in West Virginia on Friday, I was getting,

Speaker 1 like, we had, like, a runner who picked me up from the hotel, and he was like, yeah, I drove once, drove John Rossine, like, three hours from, like, I can't even remember where he went from to, and he's like, yeah, I pitched him a bunch of them, and he didn't like any of them.

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, he's picky about it. He's got to come up with them on the other side.
Say he was a great guy, but he was like, it was very funny. Like, I just pitched him Rostein as well.

Speaker 1 I just can't believe that John Rossine ever had to travel three hours anywhere, like, outside of the Upper East Side.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was just Philly to New York, so maybe it was like two hours, but it was very fun. It was definitely Philly to New York.

Speaker 1 Kid was very nice, and he was just like, yeah, he was a really nice guy, but I tried to pitch him, and he was not having it. I was like, yeah, that's just Rosstein.
Here's a free idea for the NCAA.

Speaker 1 Why don't you just start the tournament now? Do a Coach K-style where it's like every team.

Speaker 1 You start it now, and then that builds in almost unlimited bye weeks until you get to the end of March. Or just start it right after Super Bowl.
So we'll do it like a two and a half months.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's going to be enough time. It might not be enough time.

Speaker 1 All right. That's it.
Yeah, you really fucked that up, though. I know.
I take full. Are you going to be able to sleep tonight? Like, you're actually upset.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll sleep on it and hopefully be okay tomorrow. Jake's going to sleep 11 hours tomorrow for Jenga.

Speaker 1 You're like legitimately upset. Someone's going to even give him a wellness check.

Speaker 1 It wasn't his fault either. It was really my fault.
And the control room's fault. I didn't want to say it.

Speaker 1 But Jake isn't said it. And Jake is like really upset about it.
Were people upset in the comments? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 all right, Billy. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had school this week. No, my dog puked on me before I had to give a presentation.
You got to let him eat it. Yeah.
I know. Dogs leave.
Billy wants to see this or my dog's boner. This is a good.

Speaker 1 Yes. We've all said no.
Billy's never wanted to see anything more in his life. But Billy is now saying yes.
I'm not saying yes. Billy, you don't

Speaker 1 think you're professional.

Speaker 1 You don't even have a dog.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Billy, my dog's dick is bigger than yours.

Speaker 1 My dog's dick is bigger than yours. That's way bigger than we've ever said.
He's like a glorified ferret. Oh,

Speaker 1 shit.

Speaker 1 Hank. Oh.

Speaker 1 That's disgusting. Alright, fine.
Let me see it. Yes.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 No, do not send it to me. Do not send it to me.

Speaker 1 I'm blocking you. I'm blocking you.

Speaker 1 She's not a dog. Just tweet it out, Hank.
Hank. This is what a dog is.
Tweet it out. Hank, tweet it out.
If it's good for us, it's good for everyone. Tweet it out.
Do it. I just have to do it.

Speaker 1 Can you do it? Open for a surprise? Dude, it's fucked up. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Hank, what the heck? It's like a slim jet.

Speaker 1 No, it's worse. It looks like a giant shit.
That's so disgusting. Why? Dude, I don't know.
Put that shit away. I thought it was a shit, and I was like, what is happening?

Speaker 1 So wait, what are you going to do about this? Well, it's getting shit. Did you jerk him off? No, no, no, dude.
It was.

Speaker 1 By the way, this was all happening in the last four fights of Ruffin Rowdy. Like, it was all these shit.
He was just boned up. He was bone the fuck up, and I'm like trying to.
The ring girls?

Speaker 1 I think it was right when the horse came out. This is what a dog.

Speaker 1 Normie wants that horse. This is what a dog with a bone is supposed to look like.
No, I don't want it. No, Billy, stop sending dog boners.

Speaker 1 That's what it's supposed to look like. What the fuck is that? Yeah, your dog's got a tiny dick cap, Billy.
Normie looks like he's in pain.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, God.

Speaker 1 It looks like he's in pain. It looks like there's a giant eel grabbing its crotch.
Oh, God, hang.

Speaker 1 Those actually, that might actually be worse. That might be worse.

Speaker 1 Seeing his boner might be worse than your pants. Like, you finally have one thing that's worse.
Honestly, is that why they call them wiener dogs? Boner dogs, yeah.

Speaker 1 Is every wiener dog have like a huge hog like that? This was,

Speaker 1 I mean, it was stunning. It was stunning.
It was stunning. Stunning.
Shocking. Stunning.
Demoralizing. Do you have envy?

Speaker 1 No. Are you like mad at it? No, I was just like, I mean, it was more just funny.
Like, Rhea had said that had happened to her. She was like, Norman's whole dick was on my leg.

Speaker 1 And I laughed it off, being like, oh, whatever. Like, you know, little dog, little dog bone are not a big deal.
Like, you're over, over, being over dramatic.

Speaker 1 And then I saw it and was like, holy shit, that was on your leg. Wait, so what? How did he, did you, like, he have to pet

Speaker 1 it down? Like, he was like, like, crying for a second. I was like, mmm, and I like petted.

Speaker 1 And it eventually went to the bottom. You're giving him

Speaker 1 relief. It's fucked up.
Give him relief. Or put like baseball on TV or something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you think about Billy just saying that Normie's not a dog? I mean, Billy is the worst.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's. Billy, you have like a

Speaker 1 real friend.

Speaker 1 You would jerk off Normie.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you fucking. You have all of them.

Speaker 1 Did we stop with the whole fucking fucking animals? Well, yes. Stop.

Speaker 1 You must stop that.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Why'd you get the hedgehog, Billy? What? You have teens. You got that unstoppable.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 I got 14. Interesting.
Go ahead, Billy. No, I got 10.
74. 74.
Seven motherfucking teens. 74.
I gave a big 79. Sorry, go hit it.
Anyway. 74.
Frog fucking freak.

Speaker 1 No, you get the fuck out of there with that. We got stadium fuckers.
We got. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 How old's that stadium? The stadium consistent. How old was

Speaker 1 that stadium? In stadium years, it's 18. Who? 39.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 1 Danny Woodhead, that sucks. Yeah.
That sucks that you didn't pick Danny's number. I always pick eight, though.
That's my

Speaker 1 first channel.

Speaker 1 Chimpanzees commit cannibalism. Also, Costco just banned monkey-picked coconuts.
No more monkey vegans. That's what I was saying.
No, fuck you, dude. That was my lie.
Damn.

Speaker 1 All right, see you in the next one day. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 here.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I'm sitting in spite

Speaker 1 stones lovely.

Speaker 1 Tell them life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 My life's no better to be safe than sorry. Play after me.

Speaker 1 My life's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 it

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 in a drum

Speaker 1 of the things that you say

Speaker 1 just to flame my worries away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember. If you're shy and away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.