NFL Week 3 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes And Deion Sanders

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Restrictions apply. On today's part of my take, we have NFL Week 3.
Recap. Fastest two minutes.
Every single game we're going to talk about. We have Deion Sanders on to discuss what happened.
It was an awesome Week 3. We had ties.
We had shootouts. We had QB changes.
We had everything. And it's all brought...
Oh, we're also going to do Football Guy of the Week, presented by Phillips Norocco our friends at Phillips Noroco, Football Guy of the Week, some great nominations, and Who's Back of the Week, and Jake's Heat beat Hank Celtic, so we'll have to discuss that at least briefly. Before we do all of that, though, we are brought to you by, we're going to get right back to the show.
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Week 3. Trace.
What? As our friends in Spanish say. El Mexico.
El Trace. We start in western New York Where Denzel Joshington Played like a man on fire Stumbling and bumbling and rumbling To four touchdowns Cole Supercool Beasley Smoked the Rams secondary And Tyler Laura Croft Rated the end zone like it was a tomb But, Aaron Donald Trump may need to submit a very strong piss test

as the Rams came back to take the lead late,

only to be done in by the Bills as Buffalo wins the battle of Sean Mix

and McVeigh says, I wish I was back in L.A.

Hey, Teej, no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Bills, 35.
Rams, 32. Whip, whip, whip.
In the battle of the tuck rule, Bill Belichick has something special concealed in his waistband. A big, throbbing head.
Birkhead, that is. In a viral marketing ad to pre-order your new Sony PlayStation, Michelle came out of retirement to run for 117 yards.
And in a touching tribute to Cisco, John Gruden wore a thong on his face, creating viral memes across the internet. Who did this, Cam? Skull emoji, skull emoji, skull emoji.
100 retweets for a random Twitter account. 100,000 for Rex Burkhead Chapman.
Patriot 36, the Raiders 20. In Atlanta, where we'd like to wish an easy fast to all of our listeners that don the star of David Montgomery.
Thankfully, Chick-fil-A is not open on Sundays. Am I right, Teej? Mitch McConnell Trubisky was advocating to be sent to the bench, and that's exactly what Matt Nagy did as Big Dick Nick laid dong on the Falcons secondary.
Stop me if you heard this before, but the Millennial Falcons season is tick-tocking away as they blow another fourth quarter lead and the seat is en fuego for Dan Patrick Quinn. Bears 30, Falcons 26.
In Cleveland where Komodo Beckham almost got a case of ass interference breaking up a nine route from Baker like it was an eight ball. Casey and Jojo Natson sang, All my life, I've been waiting to be above 500.
John Dwayne Gacy Haskins looked like a clown as he continues to eat losers on the young season. In the land of the Cuyahoga, Jack Del Rio and Riverboat Ron were the only two waterways that didn't catch on fire in Cleveland this weekend.
The Washington football team falls to the Browns, 34-20. Some spread.
They say a tie is like kissing your sister, so what better place to practice a tie than the city of brotherly love? Just miles from the boardwalk of Atlantic City, Carson Wentz seems to have a monopoly on the starting job, but it may be time to go directly to jail and do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
The two teams spent overtime titty bumping and trading punts only to have Matt Damon Pryor have a less than interstellar moment as a false start forced Doug Peterson to huh? Huh? He did what? He punted, boom. He punted? Eagles 23.
Bengals also 23. Huh? Huh? A punt? In Pittsburgh, where the brothers jammed out.
Derek Watt, dip-a-da-pa-da, TJ Watt, dip-a-do-pa-da, TJ Watt, the Texans stink like poo. Oh yeah, yeah.
Deshaun Watson was singing Bud Dupree's Diamond Blues as the Steelers' pass rush was in the backfield all afternoon. Bilbo Bryan is making a hobbit out of losing on his quest for a ring.
Juju Smith Rooster played like he had a big cock-a-doodle-doo. And Big Bang continues to fight his porn addiction as he comes from behind against the Houston Alexis Texans.
Steelers 28, the Texans 21. Back to the Meadowlands where podcaster Nick Mullins took his talents to the sticky turf of Comptown, New York.
Damn, Daniel. Jones back at it again with the turnovers.
Jeff Curry Wilson outshone the Golden Tate Warriors. And with the recent passing of my dear friend Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Giants fans are hoping that Joe Judge will be nominated for a job other than Giants head coach.
Because if Roe v. Wade gets overturned, this type of performance by the G-Men will soon be illegal.
49ers 36, Giants 9. The New York Football Giants.
The New York Football Giants. In Arizona, people are saying to Matt Patricia, Wake up, fatty.
I think I got something to say to you. It's late September and the Lions are one and two.
As Giusebella said, I smell sex and A&D playing in the Lions' backfield like it was Marshy Playground. It was the Motor City versus the up-tempo Cardinals billed as the Oscar-nominated Peter Chernin movie, Matthew Stafford versus Ferrari.
But it was the Prater boy who said, See you later, boy, stealing the victory. And for the first time in 12 games, the Lions have a win.
26-23. Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola, such fine sight to see It's a hard count, my lord There's no crowd to roar And Italian Mike is back on tee Come on Aaron Complaining like Aaron But the Saints are got perfect eyesight.
He can't stop staring. Packers 37.
Saints 27. I fucked that up, teach.
And we finish in Seattle where the Rain City Dax rubbed out a late score only to have Mr. Unlimited march down the field for a win.
The game was crazy from the start. As DK Metcalf said, they're not gonna get fumble!

The Dallas offense was powered by Cedric the Entertainer Wilson's two scores,

but their defense is so laughably bad,

they're starting to call them the original kings of comedy in Big D.

A.C.D. C.
Lamb was a fast machine, kept his jersey clean,

but the Dallas Cowboys are a losing team.

Seahawks 38, Cowboys 31. All right, week three.
An awesome week three. We still got Monday Night Football, Chiefs versus Ravens, but holy shit.
These are the best weeks when the best matchup of the week is yet to come. Yes.
I feel like we have not yet begun to drink beer on our couches and watch television. But it was an awesome week three.
Some great storylines. Some great games.
Some fucking insane games. And we had a tie.
We had a tie, which we're going to get to. So we're going to recap every game.
We have Dion as well at the end. We'll start with Sunday night because we always do.
Unfortunately, it seems like Aaron Rodgers is just going to be good this year. Of all the things that COVID has done to us this year, making Aaron Rodgers a lethal weapon on the road might be among the worst because the hard counts.
I hate everyone sucking him off about the hard counts. He cheats in so many legal ways.
He does the hard counts all the time. And when you stack up his cheating, he becomes impossible to stop.
When he does the hard count, gets somebody to jump, and then he throws a ball to the end zone to collect an easy pass interference. All you have to do, you just throw your hands up.
You're like, I can't compete with a guy who's double cheating legally. We also know he's good at it.
Just stop. Every announcer has got to be like, Aaron Rodgers, these hard counts.
I will say I was maybe a little early on Drew Brees burying him. He had a 58-yard bomb to Alvin Kamara.
I always screw that up. It was actually like four air yards, and then he ran an unbelievable touchdown run down the field.
But Drew Brees is back. Drew Brees is back.
Kamara got outran by his offensive lineman on that run down the sideway. It's so sad, though, watching Drew Brees.
And I'm not going to pick on him because their offense looked a lot better than it did against the Raiders. But when he does, his mind is clearly still there.
So that's why he can still be an average quarterback. He does not have dementia.
His mind is completely there. He can see the field and everything.
But when he does the cock back and he's like, nope, don't have it. He does that at least

three or four times a game where he loads

it up and he's like, nope, this isn't

going where it needs to go. Let me just

check it down. That was my favorite thing about Drew Brees.

When he was able to throw the long ball, when he would do

the double shoulder cock back, get to

exactly 45 degrees and then

launch it. And now you can tell.
He's

like, you know what? I'm not even going to give this a shot.

But Kamara is awesome. Kamara is so fun to watch to watch he wears a cool mouth guard yes he does be on the record he gets it's on the record noted make a note of it hank uh when he gets hit and he gets hit a lot when he runs it just seems like people don't hit him that hard i'm sure they are hitting him hard but he's got such good balance it's the balance he could pass any dui test it's the is a very useful test to be able to pass in New Orleans.
His body control, I love when we talk about body control and balance, but it is the truth. He is actually kind of like a – look at that mouth guard.
Did you see it? Yes, sweet. It just showed it.
It's got bling in it, but it's also kind of see-through. He's like a ballerina.
He can't be – if you hit him, you think you're hitting him square, and he'll just spin on you or stay up, and it's awesome to watch. I don't think the Saints.
I'm not burying the Saints. I think they're still a very good team.
Their defense had some big plays. They actually, their defense played too well on the goal line tonight, essentially icing the game because they made the Packers work for that last touchdown.
I'm just more disappointed because the fucking Packers figured out a way to make Aaron Rodgers good again, and that was drafting Jordan Love. And now he's good again, and they scored, what was it, 125 points in the first three games? Insane.
Insane numbers. So, I don't know.
Whatever. Are you worried that he's going to get too comfortable? He's not going to be pissed off in the second half? We need to kidnap Jordan Love and be like he's not a threat anymore man and then he can go back to just being grumpy Aaron Rodgers like we saw last year grumpy Aaron Rodgers is a very dangerous Aaron Rodgers it is, this is last year they were the team that everyone was like okay they're not 13-3 they're on paper they just don't – if you watch the game with your eyes, they're not as good as 13-3.
They had a bunch of luck go their way. It seems like this year they are what they are, and that's a very good team.
And it's unfortunate. The way they're playing right now is definitely a 13-3 style of football.
And Matt LaFleur on the sidelines seems to – he seems to have figured out the code to letting Aaron Rodgers cook, just kind of staying out of his way is Cook having a moment? I'll get to that in a little bit I feel like it might be time to maybe let Russ cook not so much he's doing too much cooking I think the word cook now that we got the let Russ cook thing happened anytime someone we're going to be like, that guy cooked. Okay, so let's switch up and go to like barbecue.
Let Aaron smoke. Let Aaron Rodgers cheat with his hard count.
Yes. That works.
Have we heard any specific... Try to win one game without cheating, dude.
Have we heard any specific of Aaron Rodgers patented like goofy hard count audibles that he uses to kind of troll people sometimes? Yeah, I'm sure he'll bring those out. I also think that the refs sometimes in New Orleans like to come up with new ways just to piss off Sean Payton with some bad spots.
That was so bad. And just make him sweat it out on the sidelines for a little bit until New York has to admit that they got it wrong.
Yeah, that was so bad. The refs just get into the Superdome and they become drunk.
They instantly become drunk and they make bad calls. So that was Sunday Night Football, great Sunday Night Football.
Again, I think both those teams will be heard from. I mean, the Packers obviously 3-0, but the Saints, I'm not going to bury them 1-2 even though I've said my piece about Drew Brees not being able to throw it more than 10 yards down the field.
I think that now we have to kind of dial back or put in Jameis claims. I would still like to see Jameis in, but I don't think that there's a football case to be made for seeing Jameis Winston just yet.
Oh, I want Taysom Hill. Taysom Hill all the time? I just want Taysom Hill all the time.
All the goddamn time. Because he's electric.
All right, so next game we're going to start back at the 1 o'clocks. Bills-Rams.
Bills-35, Rams-32. This was an awesome game.
Josh Allen. All right, we did the haters speech last week, so we won't do that again.
What I will say, though, is even the stone-cold, like, coal-for-a-heart hater out there has to admit that at least watching Josh Allen is so much fun. It is such a roller coaster.
He did the pitch play again where he just lost his mind and tried to throw it backwards. He throws jump balls on the reg that are hitting this year, and he got a face mask as an offensive player, as a quarterback, about to get sacked, and he just basically threw one guy into another guy via his face mask, and that was just a man's penalty.
What happens with Josh Allen at the end of every single play is he just, he mashes all the buttons. So, like, if you're playing football, if you're playing Madden or something like that, if the play's about to be over, you just, you hit anything that you can't to get out of it.
You don't know what you're going to do. Sometimes, oh be, Oh, that's the lateral button.
I didn't know that existed. That's Josh Allen's brain.
He just kind of panicking sometimes. The end of plays.
Yeah. He just, his brain hits all the buttons.
But I do think, I think that if you're getting hit as much as he was getting hit by Aaron Donald in that second half, you should be allowed to face mask Aaron Donald. So you need to have, you need to be able to defend yourself.
The guy trains with knives, so you can't use a running back to chip that guy.

Maybe OJ in Buffalo.

That's about it.

I wish the refs had gone into a huddle and been like, what's the penalty here, face mask?

Or was it just Josh Allen so much of a man that he's just tossing people around?

Yeah.

Because that's really, like, you can't really flag him for that.

You shouldn't.

It's football. So he also, they're running, like, an option offense on the goal line.
He has, so Josh Allen now has 1,000 yards, over 1,000 yards passing in three games, 10 touchdowns. His one interception was not an interception.
So Rams fans, five of you, that was mean. But complaining about the defensive pass interference at the end of the game a little suspect but there was contact you also have to at least mention the fact that Josh Allen's interception was blatantly not an interception and they somehow fucked it up and still called it an interception yeah like it wasn't it just was not an interception and he feasted on Jalen Ramsey too after Jalen called him trash two years ago right so so he broke jim kelly's record for most touchdowns through three games pretty impressive yep jim kelly pretty damn good hall of famer that bill's offense was insane so he's been like if it weren't for russ wilson right now you'd have to be at least have him in the mvp talk i mean he is touchdowns through three And two rushing touchdowns.
Very clearly, I'll say it, Josh Allen is an elite quarterback. Josh Allen is elite.
Wow, you're going all the way there. He is elite.
And it's going to be awesome watching him play against the Patriots this year because it's Spider-Man meme. It's like two very similar style quarterbacks in similar style offense at times going at each other.
That's going to be so. I want to talk myself into the Bills being the favorites to win that division.
I don't know if I'm there just yet. They still have to go through the Patriots.
They still have to go through the Patriots. I do like what the Bills – the Bills are starting fast in every game too.
He's thrown a first quarter touchdown in all three games. Last year I think he did that twice.
So it's good to see their offenses starting fast. And on the other side, the Rams, this is, dare I say, a statement loss because they look like trash in the first half.
And McVay, who – McVay was, you know, the year they went to the Super Bowl, he was the hottest commodity. Last year, I don't know if the league figured him out, if you want to say that, or just a bunch of injuries, but he clearly a little shine came off.
What he did in that second half shows how insane of a coach he is because he basically figured out that Bills defense, which is a very good defense, and they ripped down the field many possessions in a row. And he even said afterwards, he's like, I love these guys.
This is the you know, like I put them in a bad spot in the first half. They fought back.
I love this team. So I'm saying statement loss.
Well, I like that. He remembered that he had Cooper cup, Cooper cup, like really unlocked that in the second half.
And they're running the ball really well. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, which, you know, they, they, their offensive line struggled last year.
I feel like it's done a lot better of a job and they still have, I mean, you could say maybe the best player in football in Aaron Donalds. The hangover is off.
I'm going to chalk all of last year up to a hangover. That's what I did for my entire 25th year, I think.
That's what the Rams dealt with coming off that Super Bowl. And now they do look different.
They look like Jared Goff looks good again. The defense is very, very good when they choose to turn it on a little bit.
I just – I get a little – Hold on one sec. So they have something up on the screen right now while we're watching.
It's Josh Allen. Most pass yards during 3-0 start.
The names up there are Kurt Warner, Patrick Mahomes, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Steve Young, Josh Allen. Incredible.
Pretty good company. 1,038 yards.
A bunch of Hall of Famers and Josh Allen.

He's throwing the shit out of the ball.

That much is clear.

But I do miss the element of the refs getting booed by the fans.

You don't get that as much.

I think that there are certain cities where they should allow the stadium to play boo effects.

I would say.

They do in Philly.

I would say Philly.

No, they did last week.

Oh, they did?

Okay, good.

They booed Carson Wentz. Good.
I like that. With the sound effects.
I love that. So, Philly should be allowed to do it.
Buffalo should be allowed to do it. Atlanta? No.
No. New Orleans.
Actually, the remarkable thing about Atlanta is as many heartbreaking losses as they've had and signature losses that they've had, I don't think they have a single one that they can blame on the officials. No.
Which is crazy. No.
It's nuts to think that. Wait, so one last thought.
It's going to just stick with me every single week, but it really sucks that Bills Mafia can't be at these games. Because that game would have been electric with just a bunch of Western New Yorkers drunk out of their mind.
And we've said this before, but those late September Bills games when everyone has been out in the sun for way too long and looks like a lobster. He's like barely hanging on in the fourth quarter.
They're squeezing their last weekend out of the summer. Yeah, they're still making so much noise.
I think that we should do one more day where we will absolve you of your Josh Allen sins in the past. Sure.
We'll do one more. Do you have 24 hours? Just admit that even if you want to keep hating him, which I'm fine with because you know, that's what sports are about.
You gotta hate guys. At least just admit that he's fucking fun to watch.
I think that yeah admit that he's fun to watch. You have two ways to go when it comes to like accepting the fact that Josh is really good.
One, just accept it and atone

for your sins of the past. Two, double

down on him sucking.

Max Kellerman. That's actually

a compliment. Skip Bayless.
If you reach a point in the NFL

where you have people who hate you,

nobody really hated Josh Allen.

You might even say that some Bills fans

hated Josh Allen more than his opponents

did for the first couple years he was in the league.

Now, I think he's earned the right to have haters that just say that he sucks, even though they know that he's good, kind of like you and Aaron Rodgers. Right, right.
I mean, it's what keeps the sports world spinning. The hate that is in your heart is stronger than the love.
Alright, let's move on. Bears-Falcons, Big Dick Nick time.
I feel bad for Mitch. I really, really do.
They were showing him on the sideline, and it's sad. Like, no one – Mitch can't – I've said this before, but Mitch is not to blame for going number two in a draft ahead of Mahomes and Watson.
That's Ryan Pace being an idiot. Like, Mitch didn't ask for that.
So if he went – If he had a nicer car, they never would have drafted him. Right.
If Mitch Trubisky gets drafted in the second round, he doesn't become this internet meme and roast it all the time. It sucks.
Like, I genuinely feel bad for him. With that said, it was clear that...
I mean, Matt Nagy's an emotional coach. You can just tell by the way he, you know, play calling and also press conferences.
He's very emotional. So I think what happened here was he was forced to basically start Mitch to start the year and was essentially saying, I'm just going to wait until it's bad and truly bad.
And that pick he threw where he just didn't realize that Atlanta was in zone. He's like, all right, that's it.
Big Nick Nick, he throws a catchable ball, and he's fucking – he's just like the – he has so much composure, and I don't know what the fuck he was doing with that visor, by the way. He took it off.
I love the visor. But he couldn't see.
So this tells me that he was not expecting to play today because he stepped on the field looking like a moon man. It was the swaggiest frosted visors that did not match up with nick there's nothing about nick foals that says i should be wearing a reflective visor it's like so out of place for him that it looked odd it was like when ben roethlisberger wore the fedora right his post-game press conference it's like nothing here nothing here matches up with the style of play right but he but so the advisor someone uh the visor someone

tweeted at me and it's it's so perfect when you create a player in madden or college football you always put on a visor yeah like this looks cool but practically speaking when your quarterback needs to see that's probably doesn't work so he took he popped it off he was incredible down the stretch and yeah it, it's the Falcons. So the Falcons now, a little stat.
This came from Josh Dubow, AP. Falcons are the first team since 2000 to lose two games in one season when leading by 15 points in the fourth quarter.
They've now done it in back-to-back games, and it fucking week three. Yeah.
Week three and they've done it. They, well, credit to Dan Quinn, who after the game said that this is on me.
This falls on me in all spaces. So he's going to take a long look in the mirror.
Dan Quinn is addicted to looking himself in the mirror. I think he's a narcissist.
I think Dan Quinn, he likes taking all the responsibility for it, staring at himself in the mirror be like this is on you dan this is on nobody else but you it's your fault i don't even feel like i feel bad for matt ryan too because essentially that like the defense the falcons defense is so comically bad but matt ryan if they punt more than three possessions in a row they're going to give up an inner like they're going to give up a 15-point lead. That's how it happened.
I mean, he did throw a pick, but they just punted a few times. It was like, oh, okay, now the Bears are back.
Yeah, I've got a theory for you. What about this? What if Mitch started every game, but then Nick Foles comes in? Because we know Nick Foles, he does best when he's in a backup role, right? Like a surprise Nick Foles is better than a starting Nick Foles.

What if Mitch comes in, he runs those 12 plays that are scripted,

and then Nick Foles comes in to close out?

It's like foreplay.

You get your quarterback that loves to kiss titties,

gets them all warmed up,

and then Nick Foles comes in slinging the hammer

and just finishes to completion.

Okay, so I have a better idea because obviously you can't do that. Well, you can't do my idea either, but Tariq Cohen tore his ACL, which sucks.
Mitch led the team in rushing today. Okay.
Like a Cordero Patterson type thing. Why not just have him be a running back? Why not? And he could every now and then throw it.
He could be your Taysom Hill. Yes.
Let him just be a running back. Then I won't feel guilty about watching Mitch be on the sideline

and be like, that sucks for him.

We could put him in the offense.

Matt Nagy, you can have someone you can blame because you know you want to.

So it works all around.

Have Mitch be a running back, and Nick Foles will be the quarterback,

and everything will work.

That would be actually a really excellent wildcat offense. Yes.
Yes. I guarantee you that Mitch is a better passer than 95% of the running backs in the NFL.
Easily, yeah. He now becomes the most elite dual threat running back.
Taysom Hill. It's Taysom Hill and Mitch.
It's a conversation that we have to have. One and one A.
Yeah, we'll have to have a conversation about that. So I'm very excited about the Bears being 3-0.
I'm also – the meatball side of me is like Nick Foles is incredible. The defense is starting to play.
Akeem Hicks was – Akeem Hicks doesn't get enough credit because it's Khalil Max on that defensive line, but he was fucking awesome. He is an absolute beast.
So I'm thinking to myself, the Bears are really good. This is actually like seven teams make the playoffs.
They're going to make a run. Nick Foles, he won a Super Bowl.
You know, this could be anything could happen. I mean, your season motto at this point is like, Nick Foles, I guess we're doing this.
And I'm not going to apologize for being 3-0. People want me to apologize for being 3-0.
I am not going to apologize for being 3-0. The realist side of me,

the realist, you know,

I go to bed at night

and I'm sitting there

and I'm thinking like,

are the Bears actually good?

I have a stat that shows

that it might fall apart.

So I got my guard up.

So football perspective

tweeted this out.

Bears have been outscored

by 19 points

through three quarters.

That's the worst point differential

by a 3-0 team ever.

Okay.

Through three quarters.

I don't see a problem with that. The last two teams that had that record being the worst point differential and being 3-0, the Falcons in 2015, they finished 8-8.
And then the 96 Vikings, they finished 9-7. These are the new-look Bears, though.
They've got Nick Foles out there. I get it.
I understand that this could fall apart very quickly. Stats are for losers.
And things are probably not exactly what they seem. But again, when it comes to just being a fan of a team, you can't apologize for winning games.
And if it means that I get to watch meaningful football for a little bit later in the calendar year, don't give a fuck how they win the games you're going to have people start calling you fool's gold that actually stings the worst but you know what if you don't know that it's fake it still looks good and still if you give a fake piece of jewelry as a gift they're only going to hate it once they realize it's fake yeah we're not're not going to the appraiser. Yeah.
We're just fucking hanging out.

Exactly.

Don't bring your jeweler friend over.

No, don't rub that.

That's where I'm at. Don't rub it against your skin.

You'll get a hive.

Meatball brain, 3-0, bears are back.

Realistic brain, I got my guard up.

Be ready, dude, because things could fall apart quickly.

To the Falcons fans out there, again, I'm sorry.

I don't know how Falcons fans listen to podcasts on Mondays. I don't know how they live yeah especially like Monday and Tuesday of every week I don't know how you get out of bed get ready for work have a conversation God help you if there's a water cooler in your office that you have to stand next to and the one guy knows that you're a Falcons fan and brings it up I think they're just numb to it though I think at this point this point, like, this is so, this one was so comically, like, here we go again, that I don't think it, I don't think it, it cannot bother them anymore.
Because at some point, you have to become numb to it, you have to have a callous to it, and say to yourself, whenever we're ahead, we're going to lose. Yeah.
Yeah, you have to make that joke before anybody else does. Right, right.
When you get out to a seven-point lead, if you fall behind by 14 early next week, just be like, well, we can't blow this lead. That's actually probably the right idea if you're a Falcons fan.
Just hope that your team gets outscored by a shitload in the first half, and then you get to be the one scoring all the points in the second. Oh, they go to Lambeau next week.
Oh, that's going to be tough. The Packers are going to put up 70.
Do you think if you were to make the proposition to Falcons fans, like if you could go, we could renounce your Falcons fandom, you would have no knowledge of ever being a Falcons fan or any of the hurt that you've suffered. All you have to do is go to Leavenworth for a year and a half.
The same sentence that Mike Vick had. I don't know.
I think they... And you emerge and you're...
No, because they... Maybe you come out and you're a Patriots fan.
Maybe you come out and you're a Packers fan. Because Falcons fans have Georgia football too, which they looked awesome against Arkansas.
Yeah, Georgia football, clutch performers. They've never given up a lead.
Damn, that offense is also fucked. They need to switch.
They need to give the Falcons Georgia's defense and Georgia Falcons offense. Or, I mean, you at least have the Braves.
They're really good. Oh, man, I'm sorry, Atlanta.
So, yeah, 3-0. 3-0 is 3-0.
I'm very excited. 3-0 is 3-0.
I'm not going to fuck. I'm going to have so many tweets.
I already see them coming. Bears are frauds.
Bears are frauds. They're fraudulent.
Like, you know they suck. I don't care.
I'm not going to. I officially will not apologize for being 3-0.
That is my statement. Okay, Washington football team Browns.
Yep. So Dwayne Haskins looks not great.
That's putting it nicely. He looks not great.
He got tackled by his underwear again today. Three interceptions.
They need to just make all the undershirts and jock straps tear away, like a lizard's tail, so that when Dwayne Haskins gets – it's for some reason it hangs down below the pockets. He always had that.
He had that at Ohio State, too. When you get tackled by that, and Miles Garrett had it and pulled on it, and I think it went out like six or seven yards.
You know how they say your intestines, if you stretch them out end-to-end, could go around the world three times? Dwayne Haskins' undershirt could stretch back and forth across the length of a football field at least five times yeah you got you can't be giving them something extra to bring you down but yeah Dwayne Haskins that's that's a tough one that's a head scratch big cat the real story here is the Browns they're above 500 for the first time since 2014 so let's focus on the positive okay the Browns have they the Browns have an offensive identity it's just whether or not they're going to stick with it. That's the question.
They, the Browns have an offensive identity. It's just whether

or not they're going to stick with it. That's the question.

They actually have the

formula in Nick Chubb

and Kareem Hunt. They have the two best running backs.

They're the best backfield in the NFL. It's incredible

when they can run the football and they start pounding the ball

like they could put teams away.

They should be doing

what the Ravens do where when the

Ravens start going downhill and just running and running and running, and then they'll throw in a couple passes. I don't know if they'll stick with it, because it felt like in this game they even showed that where the first half they kind of weren't, and then they're like, oh, wait, we have these awesome guys.
Because it's got to suck when you have the number one pick overall and the quarterback, Odell Beckham and Jarvis Landry, so you're sitting there like, we've got to throw the ball. No, you don't.
Just run. Just run the ball.
Odell Beckham somehow has the same stat line every game, which is like five catches for 59 yards and no touchdowns. Right.
And a pouty face. Yeah, and so you look at that and you're like, wow, they're really not using their offense.
Well, guess what? They still have Kareem Hunt that is as good of a receiver as any running back in the NFL right now.

He had that catch he made to save the first down to get that first down.

So the only other thing I had about the Washington football team,

Ron Rivera's just given up the last two weeks.

What's up with this?

He doesn't like calling timeouts.

So the last two weeks, the Washington football team has been within two scores,

and he just refuses to call his timeouts, and he's just like, game over. We've had enough.
Thank you. I think he knows that he's going to put Dwayne in, and Dwayne will throw another interception.
And you know what? The back-breaking interception, if you leave the field on an interception, somehow that carries over more to the next week or to the next practice. So Ron's like, you know what? He threw his last interception with five minutes left.
Good enough for me. Let's not burn these.
Yeah, I'm just waiting for it. You know what? That is actually, now we figured it out.
They don't play each other shit. I was going to say, the Falcons need to play the Washington football team.
Because when they're down 15 with 10 minutes left, Ron Rivera just gives up and the Falcons can't blow the lead. Exactly.
They would be the perfect medicine, really. Yeah, they don't play each other shit.
That's exactly what they need. Have you noticed that Baker is looking a little chunker? No.
Like in a good way. You mean he's put on power? Like he's thick, yeah.
He's got power. Like he's got a strong base.
He's got strong legs and stomach. Yeah.
And neck. I mean, he lives in Cleveland, dude.
You can't be in shape if you live in Cleveland. No offense to Cleveland.
That's just the truth. The famous cuisine of horse shit.
You just can't. Buffalo Wild Wings.
There's too much, you know. It just gets too cold.
Yeah, that's true. It's too sad.
That's very true. It's just the truth.
There's a few months of the year where, you know, you can be in shape. You know what it is.
And the rest of the year, you throw on your Ohio State jersey and some jeans and some Timberlands, and you're like, I'm strong and powerful. This isn't fat.
You don't want to be skinny in the wind. In a windy city like that, you'll get blown away.
But I think what I'm doing is in my head I'm conflating the Baker that I see on the field with the Baker that I see in the 900 commercials of Hulu that play. Right.
Where he's in the other person's body, and he looks like he's 140 pounds. Yes.
That's what I'm... Okay, so Baker might not be...
He might not be as chunk as I presume, but he's definitely heavier than the skinny guy that they have playing. Yeah, let's hold on.
We won't call him chunk yet. We won't call him chunk just yet, but I'll start monitoring.
Yeah, just keep an eye. I'll put an alert on him.
I don't even think it's a bad chunk. I think he looks good with a little meat on his bones.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
All right. Before we do the next game, a quick word from Body Armor.
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Get that strawberry banana. Tell them Big Cat sent you.
I don't know who you'd tell, but just do that. You always feel like, you know, kind of special when you're like, yeah, say it to the convenience store guy.
Yeah. Okay, cool.
All right. Next up Titans Vikings.
I this was the red zone game where it was like, oh, the Vikings are going to finally get their first win, and then they flashed it again. It's like, wait, the Vikings are down? And it happened that fast.
It was 24-12 halfway through the third quarter, and then the fourth quarter started, and the Titans were winning. And I was like, okay, what's going on here? Well, it's crazy, too, because it was a high-scoring game, so you'd assume that we get a lot of live look-ins at this game.
But we didn't. We didn't.
It switched over and Kyle Rudolph was making amazing touchdown catches and Kirk Cousins was throwing boneheaded 25-yard passes that were almost getting intercepted every time. Yes, it just happened.
This game just happened. Yeah, it just happened.
The big story for the Vikings offense, you lost Diggs over the offseason, but Justin Jefferson looks really good. And Dalvin Cook is awesome.
Justin Jefferson had maybe the coolest touchdown celebration of the year so far. He did the little LSU skip and shout.
I'm sure it has a name, but I'm not cool enough for them to tell me what the name is yet. But he did a little skip, and then he shouted, then he skipped, then he shouted.
Oh shouted oh that's pretty cool yeah yeah he had uh 175 yards and dalvin cook was awesome that that's what i remember what g-r-i-d-d-y-d greedy gritty gritty gritty yeah he's gritty i like i love it so yeah they do have a guy there uh they're oh and three and they're terrible yep and the titans i don don't know what the Titans are because they are now 0-3 against the spread.

And it feels like they've been playing some pretty bad teams in the Broncos and the Vikings.

Who'd they play last week?

They played.

Who'd they beat?

Who'd they beat last week?

They beat someone by very small.

The Jaguars.

They barely beat the Jaguars.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the Vikings or the Titans, are they good? Are we sure they're good? Well, they have a kicker now.
Good Guskowski is back. Hall of Famer.
He needed a week to shake the rust off a little bit. Would he have like four field goals today? Six for six.
Six for six. 55-yarder to win it.
Yeah. Credit to Mike Vrabel, to Mike Vrabel, because I think last season Mike Vrabel would have assassinated Gostkowski after the Monday – like, left him on the field.
Buried him underneath the field even after a win. I don't think he even tried a field goal in the last, what, four or five games of the season.
Now he's kicking six field goals a game with Gostkowski. It's crazy, especially after that Monday night game.
But, yeah, I think the Titans are good. But, again, if they're really good – so, yeah, let me say yeah, I think the Titans are good.
But again, if they're really good... So yeah, let me say this.
I think the Titans are good. I don't think they're really good.
Because if they're really good, one of these three games, they should have kicked the shit out of this team. We got today our first sneak peek just a little bit.
Aceto. We got Aceto of Tractor Aceto today.
Yes, he was. So it's going to happen again.
Those two tries in the third quarter, they were like, let's just give it to Derek Henry, and he did his thing. Yeah, usually it's like late October, that's when the tractor comes alive.
That's when you put the gas in the tank. But we got a little taste today, and he looks just as awesome as he did last night.
Yes, he does. And Jadavian Clowney, who knew that guy was, you know, that illegal hit he had on the interception return.
That's got to be the most demoralizing penalty by the way. The illegal hit or the block in the back that isn't needed that negates a pick six and then they punted.
You're apparently never allowed to hit a quarterback. I think that you should actually get bonus.
It depends on who the quarterback is but if it's Kirk Cousins, how can you tell to block kirk cousins right he looks so block right i agree it looks like just taking a swan dive into a big swimming pool filled with like down pillows so blockable um all right next up raiders patriots gruden's thong mask was awesome yeah he got that from uh spearmint rhino yeah he was he was uh it looked like he chewed through his mask it was half on half off but this was i don't want to i'm a terrible gambler and i'm terrible predicting games but this was one of the most predictable games when you have the patriots off a loss and the raiders off a huge monday night win having to go all the way east coast and we joked about it on friday, but I think we said the exact joke of Bill Belichick's chewing through his sweater watching every snap that Darren Waller's had his entire life and going to shut him down. And then Darren Waller had two catches for nine yards.
Yeah, Belichick took away Darren Waller and his entire game plan seemed to be like, no Darren Waller, but we're going to let you pass the ball to Hunter Renfro as much as you want because I want to get a good glimpse of him so I can scout him out when he hits a free agency in like two years because I want to pick this motherfucker up. Yes, we're going to pick him up.
But the Patriots, the scary thing about the Patriots is that they just change. They morph every single week now.
Week one, they ran. Week two, they passed.
Week three, they ran again. And I don't know, when you have Cam Newton and you can just be like, all right, this week we're just going to play bully ball.
Oh, next week we're going to throw the ball. That's a scary thing.
I think it has a lot to do with Jules. So if you have a game where Julian Edelman gets 120 yards, he's probably going to get hit like nine times and have three concussions.
So he needs a week to kind of take a little break, and those are the running weeks that he's going to have but then he blocks but then he blocks he's a fucking awesome block then he goes out there yeah cam did have one of uh my favorite things that cam does uh when he throws an interception when he scrambles out and then throws in a triple coverage but he throws it so goddamn hard that you don't even realize it was intercepted

because it sticks to the defender.

I always will have a soft spot for quarterbacks.

Maybe it's the inner Jay Cutler in me,

but the quarterback that sees a guy in triple coverage,

he's like, oh, I can get it in there.

I will throw this through a defender.

It never works out, but I love that.

You had Jay, and then before you had Jay,

you had Rex Grossman,

who's the king of that.

Just like, I'm going to throw it as hard as I possibly can,

and it's going to work, and then it doesn't work.

Yeah, if he's covered by three guys, he's not covered by one.

They don't know who has the responsibility of man coverage.

Fun stat, John Gruden has never beaten Bill Belichick.

Wow.

Ever.

Yikes.

So Belichick, you know that pisses him off.

Oh, definitely.

Gruden will get pissed off about anything, even if he wins like 30 points he'll find a reason to be to be mad but uh yeah you know that he's like he's going to go back to his little coach's lair with all the VHS tapes that he has yes and just he might even just try to break in to uh to the the Patriots practice facility this week go in disguise cut what's left of his hair into like a Steve Belichick type mullet and just pretend like he's on the coaching staff to figure out what he knows that I don't know. So the Raiders are not, they're good ish, but they have a really bad schedule coming up.
So I think this could be, they have the bills at the chiefs and then the box. Yeah.
Those could all be losses. And we could be sitting here saying the Raiders are now 2-4, and it doesn't look like the promising season that we all thought it was going to be.
I think even after that, they might have one or two more tough games lined up. Well, they do have the Broncos twice and the Jets and the Dolphins, so they have a softer schedule at the end, so maybe that is what we'll get from the Raiders this year.
They'll be yet again the team to finish strong and everyone be like he's building something the raiders are going to be in the hunt for sure yeah at the very end of it that's what i love about the ties too we'll get to that but uh having having the tie in that like extra column it shows up in the in the hunt graphic and it screws up all your projections i think the tie is going to come in handy in the nfc east that thing is going to be like the nfc beast yeah by the way, I should say... Yo, let's throw this out there.
I forgot to mention this when we were talking about the Washington football team. They are in first place in the NFC East right now.
Still? Still. And still the reigning champions.
Wow. The Beast is back, baby.
Wow. Six and ten gets you in.
So let's go to the NFC East. We have the 49ers and Giants.
I may have to no longer say that I think Daniel Jones is good. Thank you.
Thank you. I still think he's good.
I was going to ask you, but he's not good. He just turns the ball over.
This is what it's become right now. It's like, who would you rather have? If I were to say to you, Daniel Jones stinks, and you're a Giants fan, your reaction is going to be, well, who would you rather have, Daniel Jones or Sam Darnold? Yeah, I wouldn't want either of them.
Would you rather not shit for a week or have burning diarrhea? I would rather have Daniel Jones still. Because he hasn't played.
He's obviously not shit for a week. Because he's played less.
That's basically the tiebreaker now. So in 15 out of 16, Daniel jones starts he has had a turnover and in 11 of the 16 he's had two turnovers he has 36 turnovers in or 35 turnovers in 16 games that is i actually think he's elite at turning the ball over so i'm back on daniel jones okay there you go i like it he you know what you got to take risks and sometimes a risk is just dropping the ball for the other team to pick it up.
Yeah, I don't know if he takes risks, though. No, he doesn't.
He just drops the ball. The biggest risk that he takes is he doesn't pass the ball.
The biggest risk he takes is he doesn't take a risk, and he hangs onto the ball too long, and then gets strip-sacked. So, uh, the Joe Judge.
Joe Judge. Could you pick Joe Judge

out of the lineup right now?

I could because I watched this clip

and you got a problem, Giants.

You got a problem.

You got a big problem

because I watched afterwards

after the postgame that Joe Judge did

and he did two things

that are big red flags.

One, he just kept on talking about

how New York is a blue collar area

and he wants to represent,

he wants to get his hard hard hat back on and go and go back to work and and and make the blue collar families that root for this team proud and i was like wait that sounds familiar that's literally what he said in his introductory press conference that's not good that he is already recycling he's run out of cliches because the introductory press conference is your best material yeah that is your a1 material he's in week three oh and three and he's already back to his a1 because he's run out of everything else so he literally said i like blue collar i want us to be a blue collar football team it's a blue collar area i'm gonna make this blue collar area proud what who cares what like that is so no he's just he has to get he has to get better cliches yes he's new as being a head coach when you when you run out of cliches you got to dig deep you got to circle the wagons you got to look at yourself in the mirror and at the end of the day you got to come stronger you go home blue collar so then he also referred to the Giants as, we're going to turn this program around. Which made me realize, like, Joe Judge, you should have been a college coach, dude.
This is not going to work out for you. Like, you know the type of guys who are just built for college football.
Like, close your eyes. Could P.J.
Fleck be coaching in the NFL? Probably not. He's a great college football coach because he can get the guys going.
There are certain guys that you see them and you're like, that's a college football coach. Dabo Sweeney, I don't think a coach in the NFL.
The way he's able to recruit and get young guys pumped up and all that, it doesn't fly the same way. You have to have a little bit of cult leader in you to be a really successful college coach and you don't necessarily have to have that in the NFL.
Right so he's talking about the program he's talking about blue collar and I'm like this guy should be the coach of fucking Western Michigan or Miami of Ohio and then he'll get a job at Illinois or you know Purdue and he'll have a nice living but this might be a little too big for Joe Judge. Yeah, he's in over his head a little bit.
When I was watching this game, I was just looking at the jerseys and looking at the teams and saying that you could take any team in the NFL right now and put them in either Jets or Giants gear, just dress them up in blue or green, and I guarantee you they

would lose by the same amount as they do as the Jets and Giants.

You could take the Raiders, put the Raiders in that big blue, have John Gruden coach them,

put them in the Meadowlands playing against the 49ers, and they would still lose by the

exact same margin.

It's the culture.

It's the program culture.

Yeah.

They got to change it.

They got to change the program.

They got to change the program.

Change the carpet first.

The Giants in the first half had the ball for seven minutes and 34 seconds that's almost impossible how many turnovers did daniel jones have in that first half i don't know how many had in the first half but they had the ball for 20 minutes total for the game that's insane okay so joe judge listen to me here's what you do you have to re-establish the run you have to recommit yourself to basic football. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Oh, dude, establishing the run has nothing to do with the fact with establishing the run well. So you can just say, like, we need to get back to basic football here.
We need to smash the other guy in the mouth, win in the trenches, and just say that and then be like, we're going to run the ball 30 times next game. And they also signed, shout out our guy Clem, because he got in a fight with the analytics Twitter and the nerds on Twitter, football nerds, because they signed Devontae Freeman and he took the number 31 and he was like, that's not a fast number, we're fucked.
And I agree. Oh, it's a fact, yeah.
Like, you got to be a 28, 24 maybe. 32 is fine.
32. Yeah.
34, 38, now you're slow again. But there are fast numbers.
39, you're fast again. 39, you're fast.
And shifty. Yep.
40. 40, you're good.
And you can square your shoulders up while you're getting pass protection. 31, not so much.
Yeah. 31, that's a safety number.
Yes. Yes.
That's Adam Archuleta. That's who I think of.
He might not have ever worn 31, but he he was a 31 I have one more stat for you in this I'm sorry Giants fans this probably sucks so much but man you guys are bad uh the Giants since the boat picture they're 12 and 40 so I think they have to burn a boat I think I think they have to create they have to make a Titanic and sink it they They have to give themselves a Viking funeral. Yes.
Do you guys play the Vikings? I don't know. 12 and 40.
If you play the Vikings this year. They need to burn a boat.
Yes, burn a goddamn boat. Burn a boat and be done with it.
They do not. That's too bad.
That is too bad. Maybe in the wild card round.
Boston is the pirate ship, but it's in New York. What happened? They play the Bucs and they have there was the pirate ship, but it's in New York.

What happened?

They play the Bucs and they have the pirate ship.

True, but it's in New York.

Well, that doesn't matter.

Just sneak down to Tampa and light that boat on fire.

No, just lose to the Bucs.

Okay.

And that will make you better.

That was Dale Jones' coming out party last year.

That's true.

Do you play against Blake Bortles?

Try to douse him in gasoline?

They don't play the Jets, I don't think, no.

Yeah, that's... I have one more stat, but I'm keeping it for the Jets.
It's the Jets-Giants combo stat. I'm done making fun of the Giants.
I'm sorry, Giants fans. I have a big time, you think.
Jordan Reed got injured today. Yeah, sticky turf.
Yeah, sticky turf. They should never have let Jordan Reed play on that field.
It's like fertilizer and fireworks getting put together. There was no way that was going to end well.
He also was wearing the custom cleats. And those, I can't remember who I was sitting with.
It might have been Nick said it, but it was so spot on. Whenever, oh no, it was our guy Chuck.
Whenever they make custom cleats, so he's wearing Jordan 1 cleats. Like they look like sneakers.
You'll always turn your ankle on that. You can't do that do that you can't have the custom cleats like i always assume whenever a guy is wearing cleats that are a little too swagged out they they they use too much time on making the cleat pretty and not sturdy i like that even though they probably they probably spray painted after the fact no no they were they were modified shoes so they were actually basketball shoes that they like put cleats on the bottom of That's always going to get you injured, dude.
You have no one to blame but yourself. They look like my shoes but red with cleats on them.
I just never thought he should have played on that turf. Just put Jordan Reed in a dome.
I'm not saying put him in a dome stadium. I mean build a bubble around Jordan Reed.
He should just never. He should be bubble boy bubble boy.
By the way, Kyle Shanahan, he now is the QB whisperer because Nick Mullins was awesome. I like Nick Mullins.
I do too. He listens to the show.
You remember a couple years ago when he came in and Brett Favre called him on Thursday Night Football after the game? That was the game where I think it was originally going to be C.J. Beathard that was playing.
They're like, ah, shit, we have to bet on C.J. Beathard tonight.

Nick Mullins comes in wild card.

I like him.

I'll always have a very special place in my heart for a quarterback that entertains me on a night that I'm not expecting to be entertained.

Yes.

Yeah, it's the, fuck, Case Keenum.

Yeah.

The Case Keenum game where Gruden just came his pants all night, called him a ninja.

Yeah, Josh Freeman. Yeah.
When he had like three days practicing with the Vikings and came in through nine interceptions. Yes.
The opposite of whatever Jason Campbell did whenever he came in. All the time.
Yeah. Jason Campbell is the inverse of everything we just said.
Yeah, so Cal Shanahan's unbelievable coach and Nick Mullins. Shout out Nick Mullins.
Okay, Bengals, Eagles, tie. Wait, wait.
Do you think that there could be a quarterback controversy in San Francisco? No. But I do think that Kyle Shanahan could get to the playoffs with pretty much anyone.
I think that Nick Mullins does 90% of what Jimmy does. Yeah, no knock on Jimmy.
No knock on anyone. I think Kyle Shanahan is one of those coaches that he can coach anyone up.
And they probably would tell you that. You know what I mean? Nick Mullins would probably tell you that.
And you know what? If you're Nick Mullins, that's a great place to be in because you have games like this and you can stay in the league for a decade and have a really nice career if you brush shoulders with a great coach. Or the better idea would be just to be his backup, like be his guy.
So I'd offer to drive him back and forth from from the practice facility to his house Kyle Shanahan yeah date well I was gonna say date his daughter but Kyle Shanahan is probably not old enough to have a daughter that's dateable unless you're Mark Sanchez but I think that you need to just like get as close as you can with Kyle become his system guy and that way goes, boom, you're my backup, you know the system.

I love it.

So, Nick Mullins, you have a bright career, and you played great.

Bengals-Eagles tie.

Doug Peterson wrote a book, and the title of that book is Fearless.

And then Doug Peterson punted the ball with 15 seconds left to accept a tie. I don't have a problem with a punt because that would have been a 64-yard field goal.
You still gotta fucking try to win the game! But if you miss the field goal, there's a very good chance that you lose the game. Fat Randy's gonna kick a 64-yarder? No, let me tell you about how yard markers work.
So the kick would have been taken from the 46-yard line. I know that they do it from the 46-yard line.
Yes. And that's where they would have gotten the ball.
Joe Burrow would have had to get 15 yards. And you think Fat Randy would have done it? Dude, Fat Randy has been on a tear.
It's still ridiculous. Fat Randy has not missed.
So he was playing for the tie, though, before that, too. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
They were running the ball up the middle with a minute and a half left. That's an issue.
I agree with you on that. That was some chicken-chip football.
I still think they should kick the field goal. I mean, Elliott's a really good kicker.
If you can kick it from 59, I think he could have made it. I just hate the idea of being like, you know what, let's just tie.
At least try. I'd rather lose than tie.
I really would. I would say Joe Burrow, he did say that it's not a win.
It's not a loss. Well, he said, no, I'm going to count this as a loss because it wasn't a win.
Which is like Trent Dilfer-like in the way that he says, but I understand exactly what he's saying. You want to win, right? What did Herm Edwards say? Sorry, hello.
I'm the head coach of Arizona State. You play to win the game and uh the Eagles definitely didn't do that I would say that the Bengals won the tie when there's a tie one team should get it all the fourth quarter letting Carson Wentz look he's not good anymore I don't know what happened to him every pass that Carson Wentz throws I assume is going to be an interception.
And he had that drive. He went 75 yards to end the fourth quarter.
I just don't know. Your season is already a dumpster fire.
You're 0-2. You look terrible.
Just kick the field goal. I actually think he would have made it.
I really do. I don't know.
Maybe that's crazy. But he was fucking nailing kicks earlier.
Yeah. And he has kicked.
Didn't he kick like a 60-yard winner with some room to spare last year? Put that up, Jake. I don't have a problem with punting the ball at the end of overtime, but I do have a problem with the play calls that led up to the punt.
He was very obviously kind of playing for the tie before it came time to decide if he was going to play for the tie. So he was very happy to accept the tie.
And I think, yeah, if I'm handing it out as a win or a loss tie, I would say it's like at the end of the season, if one team is 9-6-1, the Bengals would get the 9-6-1. And then the other team should get 0.9.9.
Neither team is going to be 9. These teams stink.
What did he hit? His rookie year is 61 yards to beat the Rams. I mean, and he had leg with it.
I'm pretty sure that he did it. It wasn't like just hit the crossbar.
Tell me how many yards he could have hit it from. So I just, I don't know.
I think it's a crazy thing to punt there. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he had more than enough. He had more than enough.
That's a really good kicker. Yeah, he had like nine yards easily.
So, okay, so if you're saying don't kick the field goal, which I disagree with, but that's fine. At least so it's, what were they at? Fourth and sixth.
The Bengals have no timeouts. I don't know, run a screen or something.
Get the clock moving. Maybe get a couple more yards because then you don't have what you're saying.
Yeah. The ball is spotted differently.
The Bengals have no timeouts. Try to get a first down.
I guess then the time expires. I just hated how Doug Peterson, that entire end of the game, was so fucking stupid.
He was all too happy to accept the time. That overtime.
And you know what? The entire second half of that game in overtime felt like it was three games long. It just took forever.
Oh, and it had tie. It just smelled like a tie the minute they kicked off overtime.
So if you think you're having deja vu, it's probably because the Bengals and the Eagles have tied before. 12 years ago, the famous Donovan McNabb game.
I went back and I looked. I forgot how bad his quote was.
Do you remember how bad his quote was? Because I thought in my memory, I was like, Donovan McNabb just didn't realize there were ties in the regular season. Whatever.
Oh, it was way worse. He was said afterwards, after the game, after the Bengals and Eagles tied in 2008, I never even knew that was in the rule book.
It's part of the rules, and we have to go with it. I was looking forward to the next opportunity to get out there and try to win this game.
I hate to see what happens in the Super Bowl, and I hate to see what happens in the playoffs to settle with a tie. Donovan McNabb thought that if you tied in the Super Bowl and played a 15-minute overtime, they would just tie the Super Bowl.
I wish nobody had told him that because he probably would not have thrown up on the field in the fourth quarter if he thought that there was a possibility of a tie. Donovan McNabb thought that if you're in the playoffs and you tie, you just tie.
I can't. Incredible.
I had no recollection that it was that bad. Yeah.
But that is so fucking good. I mean, just putting...
He's a legend for that. The Eagles and the Bengals, that just feels like a tie.
Like, other teams I would expect just... Just putting my finger in the wind and being like, okay, yeah, this feels like a tie matchup to me would be like Bengals-Panthers, too, would feel like a tie.
Mm-hmm. Jets-Bangals.
Yeah, they have tie energy. J Jets, Bengals.
Yeah, they have tie energy. They have big tie energy.
Right, exactly. Any soccer game also feel like.
But like the Bengals, I would not be shocked if they tied more than one game. Actually, this is pretty impressive.
Mike Tannier, he predicted this game. He does predictions every single week on every game.
He predicted Eagles 22, Bengals 22. That's hilarious.
He called a tie. he was off by one point that's amazing the so uh carson wentz is broken i don't know what it is i don't know howard broke him with all the hat all the hat talk he's like let me be professional and strap on a tie for you i don't know if if his receivers aren't getting open i know his offensive line sucks but he also feels like a lot of this is on Carson Wentz.
And on the other side, Joe Burrow, this is permission to be a meathead? Granted. Joe Burrow has gotten the absolute shit kicked out of him.
Like, that hit that he took was fucking severe. He got sacked eight times.
He's been pressured more than any quarterback in the nfl this year getting up and getting back in that game and like leading your team that gets you points in that locker room and like he becomes like that is part of being a franchise quarterback is taking those hits and getting back up and i again permission me meatball just being a man about it like that was was impressive, the toughness that he showed and how much he's been getting the shit kicked out of him. I think, like, everyone in that locker room is going to have his back for life.
Yeah, he skipped right past the poise phase. Every rookie quarterback typically has a poise phase where they look— all you have to do is just not shit yourself in a certain moment and complete, like, an easy pass.
You have poise. He skipped poise.
He went straight to Moxie. He's getting fucking killed.
He skipped game manager, and he went straight to that dude. Yes.
He is that dude with Moxie. He is that dude.
He's big time that dude. I like saying that about somebody.
He's that guy. He's that dude.
He's your guy. But I was very impressed.
I mean, obviously i knew he was tough but that was he that hit was and then the last coach the last chance you coached like thought we were serious our twitter account was serious he basically called us out did you see that yeah he was because wait which coach uh i don't know jason or whatever he has a podcast called slapdick which fact oh yeah makes sense i know exactly which one we tweeted kick this guy out of the league for the hit on joe burrow obviously joking because joe burrow is our guy and he was like this is bullshit you guys are pussies like this is football jesus christ dude like that was a hard one yeah just relax okay um he but i kind of like i like him because i if i remember he was using a lot of cat capital all caps words, which that means you don't know how Twitter works,

but you're entertaining on Twitter.

Yeah.

Oh, you mean he tweets in all caps?

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

Good for him.

Actually, he's probably a guy that just has caps lock stuck on his phone.

Yes.

He doesn't know how to turn it off.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

So we have next up Texan Steelers, the Watt brothers.

That was cool. They took a picture.
Who cares? All three of them tweeted it out, too. Yeah.
There's got to be like a rush to your phone to see who's going to. And you know, JJ got it first.
And then Derek waited till after the game. Well, he probably took it with JJ's phone.
That's true. Yeah.
Well, our JJ control. JJ bought him that phone when he became a multimillionaire.
And then he turns his data off whenever they're in a rush to get clout. Yeah.
And guess what? TJ Watt is, he's better than JJ now. Is he that dude? Yeah, he's that dude.
I just checked. I mean, JJ was better in his prime.
Yeah. So I'm not like shaming JJ, but TJ Watt's awesome.
What did you say? I found the the tweet but I had to scroll down because the most recent tweets

he's been live tweeting

the most recent episode

of 90 Day Fiance

happily ever after.

Okay.

Okay.

That guy is a psycho.

We should get him on the podcast.

No.

Okay.

We won't.

Oh the last chance you got.

Yeah.

Yeah we should get him on.

We should just

well we should get it.

We should interview him and then just not air it. Yeah.
Just so that we can talk just so i want to be friends with the bilzerian i don't know he's definitely had legal problems i i remember we almost had him on and you like we didn't have him on but i just looked at our dms or not even dms he dm'd us in 2019 and said i've been cleared to speak regarding the show or my book if you guys are interested interested. Wait, this isn't...
This is the guy that got fired because he said, I'm going to be your Hitler. Oh, okay.
I didn't know that. Okay, yeah, no, we don't need a bit of a loose cannon.
Yeah. Slapdick is a great fucking name for a podcast, though.
I'm actually shocked it was still around. Slapdickcigars.com.
That sounds like the... Oh, hell yeah.
That, that guy. That's a man.
What was it? Like pussy like. Oh, yeah.
Pussy print shirts. Yes, we did that Mount Rushmore of names that the Washington football team were showing.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slapdick Cigars is a good one.
Milf Weed. Okay, Texas Steelers.
I don't know. This game, it kind of, it was kind of boring because you're just like the Texans got outelers, I don't know, this game, it was kind of boring

because you're just like the Texans got out to a big lead

and then the Steelers were like, yeah, we're better than you.

Your offensive line is terrible.

Deshaun Watson is going to run around for his life.

And I didn't really learn anything that I didn't know about these two teams.

The game played out almost exactly like I thought it would,

which is the Texans got schedule fucked.

That's number one.

Big time.

And so this was a game that if they were to win this,

they would feel really good about themselves.

But it felt like it was a little bit out of reach the entire time.

So the Steelers, they get to play 3-0.

They get to play the Titans, the Eagles, and the Browns.

There's a good chance that they could go to 6-0 with that schedule.

And so the Texans, they are my pinky team,

and I'll probably regret it in three weeks

because they're no longer schedule fucked.

They're probably going to be a good chance that they could go to 6-0 with that schedule. And so the Texans, they are my pinky team, and I'll probably regret it in three weeks because they're no longer schedule fucked.
They're playing the Vikings, the Jaguars, and the Titans. So they could right this ship pretty quickly here, and they could be 3-3 very quickly, and I'll have to start thinking about my pinky.
It would be very funny, though, if the Texans just had to play nobody but really excellent teams the entire season. Every single week.
Yeah, every week. They were like, what's wrong with the Texans? Let's see, they lost the Chiefs, the Ravens, the Steelers up next.
They got the Patriots. After that, they have the 49ers.
After the 49ers, they have to take a trip to Seattle. That would be very funny.
The Packers, just have them get their ass kicked. And if they can go 6-10 in that schedule,

then we'll give you the last playoff spot. Yeah, you get to be in the playoffs.

And you can lose in the annual early Saturday wildcard game.

I love it.

I love it.

Okay, next up, Jets-Colts.

Hyper drive did not work.

Hyper drive.

Well, no, actually.

We don't know that.

Hold on.

Let me step back.

The Jets' hyper drive offense, Adam Gase's hyper drive offense,

produced points a minute and a half into the game.

Thank you. Hold on, let me step back.
The Jets' hyperdrive offense, Adam Gase's hyperdrive offense, produced points a minute and a half into the game. Now it was a pick six, one of two that Sam Donald threw.
We have to give credit to Jim Irsay for that because he opened the window and the sun was directly in Sam Donald. That was a nice little surprise.
Usually Irsay puts that info out there on Thursday, but when you've got an elite team that's in hyperdrive coming in, you want to spring it on. You've got to slow them down.
He waited until Sunday morning to announce that he was going to open up the roof for him. Hyperdrive, though, so it did produce points right away.
So credit to hyperdrive. The Jets are so bad.
I saw someone retweet this, but there was a moment in time that the box score, I was on a fantasy app. I think it was Yahoo Fantasy.
Their third leading receiver, it actually said unknown player. It said unknown player, two catches for 35 yards.
Who could that have been? Lawrence Kager? That's a made-up name. It was probably Lawrence Kager.
Is it Kager or Kager? We should just make up names. Be like, Jets receiver or made- name? Lawrence Kager is like the first guy who's ass you kicked in Street Fighter.
It's insane how few guys, guys that were guys, are playing for them. These are all opening round opponents in Mike Tyson's punch out.
Yeah. So they have to gut their entire roster.
Oh, yeah. It's Lawrence Kager.
Two catches for 35 yards. Lawrence Kager.
Georgia. Wow.
So, I don't... Oh, my computer.
The Jets are really, really bad. The Jets stink.
I'm going to say something nice about Adam Gase. He has the best mask discipline of any coach in the NFL.
Yeah, because he doesn't want anyone to know his face. Yes, his face mask that he wears, it it covers his lower eyelashes if he could coach a guy fox mask yes yes and it goes it covers most not all of his neck beard because he has a neck beard that probably connects to his pubes yep but it goes down like well beyond the adam's apple you were that's probably why the jets often stink so bad is because they can't understand a word that he's saying.
But he's not spreading COVID around.

Yes, that's absolutely true.

Also not covering any other spreads.

So we talked about Matt Patricia last week eating his losses.

Adam Gase is doing the skinny guy version, just growing grotesque facial hair. I know all about that.

Yeah, it's a sight to be seen.

Story of my life.

I think he just shits him out.

I don't think that he eats his losses. I don't think that Adam Gase consumes food.
I think maybe a smoothie every now and again. Pellets, rabbit pellets.
Yeah, he shits out rabbit pellets in the shape of little L's. They're almost like Cheerios.
Instead of little round O's, they're just L's. He seems like a guy who just constantly has some almonds in his hands, some loose almonds.
Yeah. He's never eaten a meal.

He's just got almonds in his hands.

He's like, if you snack all day, you'll never put on any weight.

But he just eats like-

Dude, but all you've eaten today is 300 almonds.

He eats one almond every like 30 minutes.

And I'm never hungry.

It's amazing.

Mixed in a carrot and like seven gallons of Diet Coke.

I still have not seen him smile or express joy.

Nope.

Nope.

I don't think he can. I sometimes see him express what i think is confusion is he gonna just give up because i would give up if i were him i wouldn't even try if i wouldn't even try to coach i'd try to get fired if adam gaze didn't show up to a game do you think anyone would notice no and you at this point like you want to enjoy your fall yeah just get fired dude right there's probably a buyout in place.
Yeah, right. You'll probably get an offensive coordinator job somewhere.
Just like, fuck it. I'm sure Elway will bring you back to be an OC.
He absolutely will get an offensive coordinator job because he'll pull up that Peyton Manning year, the first year with the Broncos, and be like, see this? That's what John Elway does. John Elway just does favors for people, even though he's in charge of building out a roster.
If you played football with or against John Elway at any point in your career, he will give your son a job on his staff or on his roster. Yeah, so he's got a job for life.
So I promised you I had another Giants adjacent stat. So here it is.
The Jets and Giants combined have 75 points. After Monday Night Football, what I assume will be a reasonably high-scoring game, 19 teams will have more than the Jets and Giants combined.
78 points. I actually thought it would be more than that.
75 points combined. That's insane.
I'm shocked. With all the points that have been scored this year, I would assume that every team in the NFL.
Like, if you combine the New York Jets roster with the New York Giants roster right now, obviously Judge would be the head coach, I think. Right? Because I feel like he would alpha Adam Gase.
Yeah. Adam Gase, we're firing you.
Joe Judge is now the coach of the New York Jetsons.

Yes, the Jetsons.

The Jetsons.

Yep.

Who's the quarterback?

I think probably dual quarterback.

Yeah, Daniel Darnold.

Yeah, you get both of them in the backfield at the same time.

You don't know who's going to throw the interception.

No, Sam Darnold.

You have Sam Darnold basically spying Daniel Jones to pick up his fumbles.

Okay, and then he throws an interception, which is as good as a punt. Right.
That's a good result. Right.
He cleans up Daniel Jones' mess. Frank Gore is your running back.
Sure. Yeah.
Saquon Barkley's hurt. Saquon Barkley's hurt.
Your starting wide receiver is Braxton Berrios. Okay.
I think that if you combine those two rosters, they would be equally as bad as they are now. That's how bad, that spread out their lack of talent.
If they pooled everything, all their resources, they couldn't still win a football game. No.
Just to put it in even more perspective, the Jets have scored 37 points total in three games. The Packersers have scored that or more in all three games Packers scored 43, 42, 37 that's so insane they're playing two different sports what was the score of the Giants game, 36-9 it was 39 no, 36-9 and 36-7 so the Giants are technically the better team in New York.
The Giants run this town. On a neutral field, who would be favored between the Jets and the Giants? Oh, my God.
I think the Giants. Maybe.
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
By like a point or two. I don't know.
It's bad. Look at Sam Darnold on our TV right now.
It looks like a hostage video. Both these guys look like hostage videos.
I saw our good friend Mike Greenberg, amongst others, tweeting out that Sam Donald does not deserve to be in the situation with the New York Jets that he's in. It's not good, but he's also part of the problem.
Yes. I am a big believer in where you get drafted and what organization you go to.
So, yes, I completely agree that in a different world,

you can name any quarterback and be like, if they got put in,

if John Harbaugh was their coach, if Bill Belichick was their coach,

if Pete Carroll was their coach, it would probably go different.

But he also hasn't helped the situation either.

I have a new exciting thing, though, for you, PFT, about the Colts.

Philip Rivers had 400 career touchdowns today. Looked really good.
And I'm so excited, but we have the new Antonio Gates. Mo Alley-Cox played at VCU.
Played, I think, in a bunch of tournaments. And I really want him to be catching touchdown passes so we can just keep saying, do you know he played at VCU? Yeah, and he's a big body.
He's thick. He can jump up.
He's got a great name, too. Phillip Rivers loves to throw the ball just like 13 feet in the air in the end zone, and he's like, if any one of you guys can jump high enough to get it, you deserve it.
Yep. That's like his red zone offense.
He's playing 500. He is playing 500, so Mo Ali Cox is the perfect guy for that.
He looked good though today. He did look good.
I mean, it's the Jets. Frank Reich looks great on the sidelines.
He's adopting one of my favorite new looks on the sideline because every coach has to figure out how they're going to wear the mask and how it's going to be like – they're trying to limit how much it gets in the way. And frank reich he just he doesn't wear a hat but somehow he still has that uh like that heads-up display that andy reed wears yes so he's got a visor but no hat i have no idea how it stays up there it's very yeah he looks sleek there's like a futuristic there's a drone that's hovering above him that's just holding this sheet directly in front of his mouth at all times right but he looks good it good.
It doesn't get in his way at all. I can't believe we have Broncos jets on Thursday.
Blake is the only thing that can save this game. Blake Bortleskin.
It's the only thing. Or if Adam Gase does the anonymous mask or just dresses up like Danger Mouse.
This is going to be a hell of a broadcast. I'm so excited to listen to Joe Buck trying to get his way through this.
I mean, what do you do? That's so bad. How incredible would it be if it ended up being a 40-40 tie? Yes, a shootout.
Oh, man. I mean, listen, if Blake Bortles does play, and he might because they benched Jeff Driscoll, if he goes out there and he throws three touchdowns, I think Blake is getting a big contract.
Yes, yes.

So that's what we'll root for.

All right, you got to add PFT,

and then we'll get back to the rest of the game,

some more afternoon games.

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on Twitter for a second while you read that ad. I just did one scroll through my mentions, three different people saying the bears are frauds but again i'm not gonna apologize i will not apologize do not expect an apology from me go fuck yourself not apologize what about a sorry not sorry no no sorry won't even apologize for not being sorry nope say go fuck yourself i know it's gonna end badly but let me enjoy it for right now.
Okay, Panthers-Chargers. This is another game that didn't really happen.
Yeah. Joey Sly kicked five field goals.
I love the name Joey Sly and his whole look. He looks like the heir to the Bang Bus franchise.
Joey Sly is the guy that you knew always had solid mids in a pinch.

Joey Sly got the coach.

Joey guy shows up in a Honda Civic SI.

He's got a Fox Racing decal on the back.

He's like, yeah, that'll be 44 and 8.

And then he'll hit on your girlfriend in front of you.

Like, are you single?

Like, no, we're literally dating right now.

It's like, well, if you ever want to fuck.

And meanwhile, his girlfriend is right there with him.

And she's got a Tinkerbell tattoo. You're so funny,'s like i'm sorry i'm just i'm just i'm a masculine man i can't control my urges oh yeah he's definitely getting blowjobs for some swag uh i've noticed that there's a difference in the stadium when the chargers are playing in la versus when the rams are playing i can tell i can tell i can tell which team is playing in that stadium yes without even looking at the field.
It's a total vibe. It's usually like a little sunnier, more of an orange glow when the Chargers are playing.
When the Rams are playing, it looks like it's in a dome. Okay, so I agree with you, but now that I'm thinking about it, is it maybe because the Chargers have played two day games and the Rams have only played a night game? No, I don't think so.
I think I'm right. I agree with you.
I know, I am right. Then I broke it down.
I was like, wait, you're right. It does feel like the Sun's always out for the Chargers games and not for the Rams games.
I am right. I'm damn right.
But you just wait. You just wait until the Rams play a day game there and you'll agree with me.
Next week, I think. It's going different.
Yeah. Justin Herbert, I don't know, he was fine.

He made a total... I like Justin Herbert.

I'm ready to say it. Yeah, but he made a terrible

interception at the end of the half that basically

cost them the game.

It did. Yeah, well...

They lost by five and

they're in the red zone and he makes

an interception and they run it all the way back.

Or they might be a little outside the red zone.

Run it all the way back and then the Panthers get

a free field goal to end the half. That's just a little bit

of Phillip Rivers in him. That's all that is.
I think that

he's good. I'm ready.
I'm going to go out on a big limb right now. You ready? I think that Justin Herbert is a good quarterback.
I think that he will be good. I'm not.
I've watched enough of him in Oregon to always think like there's just something weird missing. He lost you.
You lost bets on him. What? You lost bets on Justin.
No, no, no. The Arizona State game, I'm pretty sure I had Arizona State.
Like he just, he does, he looks like a good quarterback and then he'll make one or two plays where you're like, what was that? He's also the perfect Cali bro to be leading the charges right now. Even though he's from, that's the other part.
Not anymore. I don't like...
He's Cali, bro.

That he grew up right underneath the stadium, Autzen Stadium in Oregon, and then stayed for an extra year when he could have been the number one pick.

That's not a fucking alpha.

Yeah, because he's a Cali, bro.

It's not an alpha.

He's a Cali, bro.

He just...

Oregonian.

21 years to get there.

Yeah.

All right.

Bucs, Broncos...

They should have won that game, actually.

Yeah, except they...

Justin Herbert.

No, but the very last play of the game, they had a hook and ladder called up. They just didn't execute on the pitch.
It was so perfect. Whatever coach is able to harness the universal power of rugby and be able to teach these designed laterals downfield, it's going to change the game of football.
I'm sick of being the only one smart enough to say it on a national platform. Andy Reid's going to figure it out one day.
Do you know who will figure it out? And it's going to change the game of football. Do you know who's trying to figure it out? I'm sorry I'm so far ahead of my time.
You know who's trying to figure it out is Josh Allen. Yeah, Josh Allen is.
Constantly throwing it backwards. He is.
He's mashing all the buttons. But the trick is your teammates have to know that you're going to do it first.
So he's half the way there. It was almost perfect.
And shout out Matt Rule getting his first win off the schneid. All right, Bucs, Broncos.
Tom Brady looks good again. Yeah.
I knew that was going to happen after week one where, like, Tom Brady's old, Tom Brady's old. And Gronk, I think, had six catches.
Like, they look – he looks good again. And they also have a nice schedule where they're going to...

I'm telling you, the Bucs are going to be like 6-1.

I know that comes at...

One of those wins is going to come at the...

You know, the Bears are going to lose to them.

But the Bucs are going to be like 6-7-1.

And people are like, wow, the Bucs.

I knew that Gronk was going to have an awesome game when they put the South Park cutouts

in the stands.

Yeah.

You knew Gronk was going to try to do a Cam Newton but hand the ball to Cartman afterwards.

Like, that was his preferable home field advantage that was going on there. It was nice to see Shady McCoy back.
It's always good to see him holding the ball just with one finger somehow. I don't like these Bucs jerseys, by the way.
He just licks his finger and just sticks it in the end of the football and runs with it like that. I didn't like him either.
They looked like a bunch of guns on the field. Yeah, it's weird.
And I also just really don't like when you have a game where both teams are wearing dark colors. You need to have one white, one dark.
Yeah. That's about it.
Brett Rippon got in? Yeah. That's another guy, that John Elway.
He knew his dad, hey, I played against your pops. You want a roster spot? You want to spot you want to hop in here oh shit you actually have to play yeah I just hope it comes we get we get portals I think we will I do too he looked good also even though he wasn't wearing pads Vic Fangio him and Ron Rivera are in a competition to see who can burn the fewest amount of timeouts this year yes they both they both hate taking timeouts.
Yes. All right, here we go, PFT.
Here's your Justin Herbert interception. Okay, here it is.
This is a terrible – oh, wait, no, this isn't the one. Great pass.
That was a pass through double coverage, a dart to the back of the end zone. They didn't show the one.
That's a touchdown with four minutes left. The one that cost them the game.
All right, Lions-Cardinals. So are we going to cool down a little bit on the Cardinals hype train? I'm not ready to cool down on it.
You just gave the Lions their first win in 12 weeks. That's Matt Patricia's favorite field to coach on.
It reminds him of how great he is. And guess what? I'm going to actually be nice to the Lions.
That's just a different team when Kenny Galladay is out there. Yeah, it is, and it's a fast track down there.
Listen, the lines are built for speed, baby. He did.
He had three interceptions. Even though he looked bad, I actually love that Kyler, he's one of those never-give-up quarterbacks where even if he's having a bad day, it feels like he's one play away at all times.
He had a couple of those really sick scrambles for touchdowns. He was getting it done with his feet.
If I could put on my Baldy hat, I would be like, look at this guy trying to tackle Kyler Murray. He's trying to grab a stick of butter in the shower, which Matt Petruz has probably been spending his whole life trying to do.
Yeah, I would imagine he goes to the shower and was like, oh, here goes Matt again. He's in the fridge.
Oh, he must be taking a shower. He's walking with six sticks of butter.
He's got an ice box. He has an ice box in the shower so he can have a hoagie.
I have a take that's going to go against everything we've always said and believed in. I'm afraid.
Five games in the afternoon is too much. No, I think it's fine.
I lost track of what I like.

Four is the perfect amount. Three is too little.
Five is too much. I thought when they said it was eight and five, I was like, great, balanced schedule.
These games, especially with the Cowboys-Seahawks game, you're focusing on that. I don't know.
I'm ready. My body and mind is ready for mayhem at 1 o'clock.
but after the witching hour and you go through the craziness,

you kind of are mentally exhausted. I think it was fine because the Panthers-Chargers game was a game you were going to forget about anyways.
Right, but I don't want to forget about it. That was going to be like a hum white noise in the background game that you didn't really pay that much attention to.
If they put that at 1 o'clock and then you get the other game, you can focus a little bit more on the Cardinals-Lions where I'm looking at everything. I don't know.
I think my brain just, that first four hours of NFL Sunday, you're basically on speed. You're just watching it and you're so locked in on everything and every play.
And then when it ends and you go right into the next games, you have that lull where you're like, oof, I need a breather. I thought five games was too much.
Four is perfect. I disagree.
I think five games is fine as long as the Chargers are playing in one of those games. Yeah, I just, I don't know.
I just lost track of these games. They all kind of blended together.
It was also weird because the games, they all ended at very... Like the Jets and Colts played at fucking four.
Like, what was that? They all ended at very, very different times. I guess maybe all these other games sucked.
The Jets-Colts game ended two and a half hours before the Seahawks game ended. Yes.
That's what it felt like. It also, I'm saying this, what made me think of it is that the Lions just won for the first time in 12 games, and it didn't really feel that remarkable because they kind of just got stashed away during a crazy Cowboys-Seahawks game.
And they finished in this weird time slot where it was like, wait, we still have football? Yeah. So, I don't know.
I thought it didn't do it justice. The Lions fans deserved a little more justice.
They deserved their witching hour moment. Where it's like, here come the Lions.
They're going to win this. And Hanson and Cisleano run out of gas too.
They do.

I'll say something nice about the Lions.

Fuck Cisleano, by the way.

Matt Stafford, he looks very healthy.

Matt Stafford can still throw the ball 60 yards on a dime.

There we go.

And the Lions won a game.

I say fuck Cisleano because he was messing. He was goofing today.

He was goofing.

He was doing the highlights and then being like,

oh, but there's a flag.

But you knew there was a flag, dude. Don't goof with me.
All right, finishing up. Cowboys-Seahawks.
This game was awesome. Yep.
This game was a Big 12 game. No one wanted to tackle.
No one wanted to play defense. Russ is cooking.
I think Russ is cooking too much. Well, so Rasilo said this on a podcast last week, so I'm not stealing it, but it was a point I was thinking of, but he did it better than me because he actually did the research.
But this narrative that, like, can you believe Russell Wilson hasn't gotten an MVP vote is insane. Patrick Mahomes, two years ago, like, threw 55 touchdowns.
Lamar Jackson was insane last year. Think about who won them.
Of course he didn't get an MVP vote. like russell wilson has been incredible but the years where guys have won mvps you can understand like would anyone have voted against patrick mahomes two years ago no but if you were to take like mvp of the last five years but that's not right say like in this five-year time span forget about what he's done so far in the first games this season.
Russ Wilson would definitely get votes for that MVP. Sure, but it's crazy that this is now becoming a thing.
This is a travesty that he's never gotten an MVP vote. Show me the person who would ever vote against Patrick Mahomes two years ago or against Lamar Jackson last year.
You would be insane. They were the best players in the league.
You would actually be insane to me. It would be dumb.
Russell Wilson is incredible.

He's always been right around 2-3, and you're right.

When you add it all up, five years, the consistency,

he has consistently been 2-3,

which makes him probably the best player over the five years.

But in a singular year, I understand why he hasn't had an MVP vote.

Yeah.

I'm ready to declare, by the way,

the Dallas Cowboys are the best 1-2 team in the NFL. Yeah, they're actually going to...
I'm actually scared because I want to laugh at them and dump on them and be like, they suck. But if they can figure out just how to get two stops a game, they're going to be good.
Just let Alden Smith cook. Yes, let him cook.
Do you want to say anything about your boy? Yeah, I think he's cutting too much. I think he's going out of his way.
We're talking about DK Metcalf who fumbled in a awful point. DK, I want to actually talk this.
Everyone who's not DK Metcalf, turn your iPhone off, turn off your Android, cut off Spotify. This is just for DK's ears only.
DK, listen, you're becoming too much of a one-trick pony. You like cutting.
You've become too good at moving laterally now.

On that deep ball that you caught, I saw the replay of it.

I saw the little graph that they put up,

the little animation that they show afterwards

where it's just X's and O's moving along the screen

that shows you where everybody was going during a play.

You moved.

You couldn't help yourself.

You cut to the left in the last four steps,

and you got the ball punched out. Stick to what you're – I don't want to say stick to what you're good at.
Maybe it's time to get back to basics and just run directly straight all the time at defenders. Just run people over.
Be fast. Don't be afraid to be fast out there, DK.
Credit to him for bouncing back, although that's kind of a weird thing to always say. Like, this guy, he bounced back from this bonehead thing.
Well, what was do it's his job yeah like i guess yes you're right some guys would just pack it in for the day but i don't know i think dk he's just he's a pro he's a pro of course he's gonna i actually think that dk is really good probably good is he the best receiver in the He's the second best receiver, I think, in the NFC West behind Hopkins. Yeah.
And Greg Kittle. Well, Tyler Lockett, dude.
Yeah. Tyler Lockett is really fucking good, man.
He is. Tyler Lockett.
I saw a stat that he has the most... I think he's tied with Tyreek Hill for the most touchdowns over 40 yards in the last two years years.
You don't think about that like, holy shit, Tyler Lockett, like just catching bombs. The Seahawks' offense is so good.
They've scored 111 points and they only have one field goal. When they get in the red zone, they just score a touchdown.
They're nine for nine. Yeah, Chris Carson looked good until he got his leg ripped off.
Did you see that play? Yeah, that was bad. The old alligator roll? Yeah.
That was a tough look. But DK, seriously, DK, stop fucking cutting.
Just hold on to the ball, man. Run straight.
Hold on to the ball. Their Seahawks offense is so good.
So much fun to watch. There's going to be an over that's like 60 points this year.
Easily with the Seahawks. I've got to find it.
I'm going to find it. And I'm going to pre-bet it in my mind.

Sometimes I like to do that.

I did that earlier today.

I tell myself, oh, when this game comes, you better fucking be ready.

Next week is Washington football team and the Ravens.

I'm going to take the Ravens.

I don't care.

Whatever number you want to put in front of me, I will take.

Shit, they don't actually have.

This was their over game.

Damn it.

Yeah.

That's it?

They don't have.

Well, Rams week 16.

Rams.

Yeah.

Thank you. of me, I will take.
Shit, they don't actually have. This was their over game.
Damn it. Yeah.
That's it? Well, Rams week 16. Rams, yeah.
Rams earlier in the year, too, but yeah, there's not. This and the Falcons were their over games.
You need to get them against the Packers. That would have been like 75 points.
Let's see who else we got. I mean, the Vikings might be an over game, too.
They'll just have to do it all on their own. Although, yeah, the Seahawks defense is horrendous.
Yeah, well, I mean, the Seahawks will get out to like a 45-10 lead, and it'll be 45-30 at the end of the game. And we knew this game was going to get crazy, and it got sufficiently crazy when the Cowboys were down 15, and it was like you blinked and they were back in the game.
Seahawks-Bills, that would just be a nuts game. Like those two teams play weird fucking football.
That's going to be awesome. So so um Russ is awesome Dak is still very good and the Cowboys are not as bad as a one and two says so it's gonna I would just say for all the Cowboys haters out there choose what you say wisely because it could come back to bite you it could come back to bite you they had the Browns and the Giants.
The Browns, Giants, Cardinals, and Washington football team.

And Eagles.

Oh, they're going to.

The Cowboys are going to blink.

You're going to blink.

And the Cowboys are going to be 5-2.

6-2.

But for right now, they're not in first place in the NFC East.

Facts.

Facts.

Okay, let's get to.

Let's do another ad.

Dion.

And then we're going to do.

We'll finish up with who's back and football guy of the week.

Before we get to Dion, I want to talk to you about.

We're going to do we'll finish up with who's back and football guy of the week before we get to Dion I want to talk to you about we're going to get right back to the show hey take. And now be great at it.
Love it. All right, so we're going to talk quickly some of the bigger storylines from NFL Sunday, and I want to start with the dumbest game by far, without a doubt, the Bengals and the Eagles tying.
Have you ever been part of a tie in the NFL? Were you ever part of a tie? No, only thing I do with a tie is wear it around my neck. No, that was a garbage tie.
That was a horrible tie. You guys need to get off that Carson Wentz moped, scooter, bicycle, car, whatever you own.
Get off of it right now while you got tied. That is ridiculous, it is it is and Carson Wentz was bad and more than anything Doug Peterson essentially playing for a tie playing for a 60 yard field goal then getting the off uh offsides and then punting with 15 seconds left instead of kicking what if you go to the locker room after that are you just like what are we even doing even doing here? Like, we're okay with just tying? No.
Yeah, because you're playing so bad, you really think you're going to win? You're playing against the Bengals. You're playing against the Bengals.
Like, come on. Honestly, I would start looking to Jalen Hurts.
I'm telling you, don't think the guys in the locker room are not murmuring. I happen to know some of them.
Don't think they're not murmuring about, hey, man, we may need to just give him a limited role and give him a shot because this is ridiculous. Yeah.
No, I agree with that. Carson Wentz played pretty poorly.
I actually don't fault Doug Peterson for punting after they got that false start because, I mean, to do? You don't make it. And then Joe Burrow has 20 yards to gain, and then Fat Randy's going to come out and split the uprights like it's a wishbone again.
I don't mind Doug Peterson punting there, but the play calling in overtime was extremely conservative to get him to that point. If you're in that locker room like nobody's happy with a tie the bangles aren't happy with it uh the eagles aren't happy with it uh bengals are happy with a tie bengals are happy with a tie because they're used to l's so they're happy with a t that's true joe burrow said that he's counting it as a loss because it's not a win i like that joe burrow's is counting it as a loss because he's used to winning at lsu we got the bus kicked yesterday by the way but that's why he's counting it as a darn loss because he used to winning he when you go when you go number one you got to get comfortable not you don't have to get luxurious and losing but you got to understand you're going to lose a lot of games in the league when you're drafted number one.
Yeah. And, Deion, I'm seeing that chain around your neck.

Did anybody ever try to snatch your chain during a game?

No.

I've always been good with these things.

I mean, really good with these things.

Yeah.

So you didn't play with a chain on.

Yeah, I did.

I did, but I wasn't shown.

Jury is no – and it's coming from me, it sounds crazy,

but football has no place for jury is no it is coming for me it sounds crazy but jury is no place football has no place for jury it really is jury is no place to be worn on the football field that's that's not good i feel like even though i did it yeah i was gonna say i feel like i can find a million pictures of you wearing jewelry no i don't i you know what i wore i wore a bracelet i wore a bracelet up under my gloves because I just felt like their bracelet had some big plays in it.

But I never really, I never really flossed Julia during the game. Never.
All right. So next one I want to talk about.
The Falcons have to fire Dan Quinn. This is incredible what they've done.
How long ago I told you that? How long ago did I say that? You did. You did.
And you're just now catching the revelation. yeah no it's it's insane that they lost again uh in up up over 15 points in the fourth quarter Nick Foles brings the Bears back that's oh excuse me who I got a bad connection who did you say brought the Bears who okay well Mitch we feel bad for Mitch I feel bad for Mitch as a human being.
You don't feel bad for Mitch.

You don't feel bad for Mitch.

You don't even care about Mitch.

You can care less about Mitch, and you know it.

You know it.

My guy, Nick Files.

I love his support.

Hey, dude, the passion that you have for that guy out there in Denver that backs up the backup, who backs up the backup, that you guys are crazy about. You know what I'm talking about? Blake, yeah.
Put some respect on his name. You too? Oh yeah.
I love Blake Bortles. You probably don't even know.
You're one of these armchair guys that doesn't ever go into a locker room anymore. You don't know.
I know what he does. I know what he does.
I know what he did to a whole franchise. I know what he did to a darn Super Bowl burst.
I know what he did. I know who he is.
Unacceptable. You two? Yeah, me too.
Yeah, us too. All right.
Nick Foles is acceptable. Nick Foles is acceptable.
Yes, Nick Foles was fantastic. The Bears, I mean, they have to go with Foles.
So just one more thing about the Falcons, though. How do you even put the pieces back together after that? This is now a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let me tell you something. I hate to see coaches get fired because I'm one now, but it's no way, it's no way you could continue this.
The stadium's already empty because we're social distancing right we're just gonna let a limited number even that limited number is gonna stop because this this is ridiculous it's now it's go to okay how far can we get up to see how bad we can lose this yeah that's what it seems like now and i tweeted please don't do it to me again especially after yesterday with what florida state did to me i can't take this i'm not built for this. That's what it seems like now.
And I tweeted, please don't do it to me again, especially after yesterday with what Florida State did to me. I can't take this.
I'm not built for this. Yeah.
Florida State and the Falcons, not so good. I'm going to put this out there.
What about Mike Leach to the Falcons next season? How many points do you think he could score with that roster? Probably like 80 points a game. One thing that Mike Leach is going to do do he's going to score in this press conferences is a must watch yeah a must watch what is it I love me some Mike Leach he's the best what is it in your opinion about Nick Foles that makes him so weirdly good even though he doesn't look like much you see him back there you see him throwing the ball he doesn't seem to have like uh an outstandingly like strong arm he's pretty accurate but he doesn't look like a superstar quarterback but he's able to come in these situations and win he's a cleaner man he's like a good housekeeper very unassuming but he just gets the job done he just always gets the job he cleans up the mess he's the best housekeeper that ever lived in the NFL.

Yeah.

Now, you can't keep him in there for a long time now, not for a stretch.

You can't think Foles are going to do it over a 14- to 16-game season.

No, no.

He comes in right on time.

But he has 13 more.

He can do that.

He can do that.

But that's who he is.

He gets the job done.

The housekeeper.

That's what I'm calling Foles for now.

The housekeeper.

I don't know. more, he could do that.
He could do that. But that's who he is.
He gets the job done. The housekeeper.
That's what I'm calling Foles for now. The housekeeper.
I like that. I also think Foles does, you know, sometimes you overthink quarterbacks and get, you know, the rocket arms or the dazzling plays.
Nick Foles does two things that makes him good, maybe never great, but he throws a very catchable ball and it feels like everything's always on time like he's the the rhythm is always there where he gets the ball out where it needs to go when it needs to get there instead of what has happened with Mitch and you can see it with younger quarterbacks that struggle things break down when their first read's not there and it doesn't the ball doesn't get out when it needs to out. Quarterbacks that struggle are not good at making decisions.
That's why they struggle. Foles looks at the defense, checks out, knows all his routes, knows the crowd combinations, and he makes the read.
He eliminates several routes before the play is started because the defense predicates what you can't do and you cannot do, what you can cannot do and foes assesses the situation and makes probably 70 of the time the right choice yeah that's what great quarterbacks do they process and make it happen what about another quarterback that a lot of people are talking about today sam darnold i've seen i've seen a lot of people say like sam doesn't deserve to be on this jets team i i think that sam is a big cause of why this Jets team is this Jets team. But a lot of people are saying like he's too good.
He doesn't have the talent around him. He doesn't have the coaching.
Are you out on Sam Darnold or do you think that there's something that can be salvaged? I've never been in. I've never been in on Sam Darnold.
Out. I've never been in.
The first thing I've got to get in to even get out. This ain't double dutch.
I've never jumped one foot in, one foot out. I've never been in.
I've never been in on the Jets, period. Ever since Rex left, I think I've been out on the Jets.
I really have. And this organization, this franchise, they've fallen and they can't get up.
They just keep continuously making bad decisions in the draft, in free agency, play calling, defense, head coaches. They are continuously consistent about getting it wrong.
And the thing with Adam Gase is I haven't seen anything from him that makes me think that the players like him or that the players are playing for him or that he's done anything to win that team over. For the the past couple years he's just kind of been there on the sidelines acting like kind of a dick who hasn't won anything um but acting like that Belichick kind of guy you know like this is my way get in or get out it doesn't matter we'll cycle through the numbers but he hasn't he doesn't have anything to prove that from uh you talk to a lot of people I don't know if you talk to anybody in the Jets locker room just around the league, is he liked at all inside that locker room? I got a few friends that played for the Jets.
I got people in management, coaches, everybody. I got people everywhere.
I'm not saying I'm that kind of dude, but I got people everywhere. I don't think a lot of people around the football world feel as though he deserved that opportunity.
A lot of people feel as though they were better qualified, more qualified people for that opportunity, especially an opportunity in New York. You got to be built for New York to handle a team in New York and be the head coach of a franchise in New York.
He's not built like that, man. Yeah.
He's not built like that. So Giants and Jets, two of the worst teams in the league.

Trevor Lawrence coming out next year, you know,

as close to a sure thing as we've had in a while.

They both have Sam Donald and Daniel Jones.

They've drafted, you know, in the last few years, the first round.

Is it a no-brainer if the Giants or Jets finish with the worst record in the league that they just say, okay, thanks, Sam.

Thanks, Daniel.

Trevor Lawrence is our guy now, not even a question.

You know what?

Thank you. Rainer, if the Giants or Jets finished with the worst record in the league, that they just say, okay, thanks, Sam.
Thanks, Daniel. Trevor Lawrence is our guy now.
Not even a question. You know what, Big Cat, that's why you're the man, because you're asking tough questions.
That's a good – that's a good conversational piece. Like, it really is a good – that right there makes me think about, would they do that? Like, would they do that with a guy that they just drafted what two and what three years ago yeah yeah what would they do that that quickly that's really thought-provoking that's why you are the man i think you do i mean i think it's an easy yes i think it is a yes but it also you know it does that's not an easy yes well it's not an easy yes easy yes.
I think it's harder for the Daniel Jones question because the Giants seem to love him and they took him in a spot where he, you know, they were like, that's our guy. That's our guy.
All you heard afterwards was when you have your guy, you got to go get your guy. So, and it's obviously would be year three instead of Sam Darnold, which would be year four.
But I think with what happened in Arizona when they drafted Josh Rosen and then the next year they drafted Kyler Murray,

I think that kind of sets the precedent that you can do that now.

Yeah, you can if you're bringing in a new coach.

The only reason that happened because you got a coach that came in

that was with the – not run and shoot,

but with the dual threat quarterbacks that had success doing that.

And you brought a college guy in to run like a college scheme. So that means you're going to have to abandon the coach.
One of those coaches is going to have to be fired. If you do that, if you bring in that, Sam Donald would probably be the first one to go, but I could think of a few other teams that may make that move.
And I could think of a few other franchises may trade up and trade draft picks to acquire Trevor Lawrence. Right.
And it's a couple of guys out there this year that is going to challenge Trevor Lawrence to be that guy. I'm telling you, see, people love you until it's time to draft you.
They'll say, oh, we find this wrong, this wrong and this wrong and this wrong about sure. They're going to do it.
It's a couple of guys in college football this year that can flat out spin it, man. I think he's going to be challenged to be that number one pick.
I really do. What about some of these teams that got off to a hot start? They might look good now, but maybe a team that is 2-1, 3-0 that you think is not built for the cold weather when you have to be able to run the ball, stop the run, old school football shit? Old school football.
You're right. I tell you what, man, I'm loving what Seattle's doing right now.
I don't like them defensively, but I'm loving what they're doing. As long as you're in the game, Russell Wilson is going to give you a chance to win it.
I like the comeback that the Rams mounted today. Yes.
I thought it was over. I was right.
I was about to hit sin and mess with you. And I had to delete it.
Yes. Because they start coming back.
I'm like, what is going on? But I like that. I needed to see that from the Rams.
I really needed to see them turn it on like that. And they did.
But I did need to see Buffalo overcome that adversity, and they did. I liked them a lot, man.
I didn't really – tell me about the Patriots game real quick because I didn't really get to – because I was so intently watching other games. How did that game play out? They basically – the scary thing about the Patriots this year is that they can just change whatever they want to do from game to game.
Cam Newton threw for whatever, 350 yards last week in Seattle. I think he threw for like 125 today and they ran for like 250.
They just bullied the Raiders. They just bullied the Raiders.
And that's why Belichick's Belichick. He changes his game plan.
He's coaching though, man. But that's coaching.
He found something in the armor and he attacked it. That's coaching.
Yeah. God, there's coaching.
I love it. So I had one last question.
Your other team, the Cowboys, is there any fix for that defense? Because, man, it looks like that Cowboys-Seahawks game looked like a Big 12 game. Like there was no tackling.
Big plays everywhere. It didn't look like NFL football.
Oklahoma and Kansas State yesterday. Tell me something.
Because all you guys, I don't know if you guys did it, but everybody jumped all over Jason Garrett last year. Yeah.
Is this not the same team? Yeah. Or worse? Because the defense was better last year.
So is this that it it looked like they're worse and you're asking that the throw for 400 a game just to be in the game he has to throw for four bills for you to even be in a darn game that that that's a lot of pressure not that he can't handle it but that's a lot man well I think I think the offense a little bit better. They seem more competent, at least.
It seems like McCarthy knows what he's doing on offense. And Jason Garrett, he wasn't running the defense last year.
So I would say, yes, it's an upgrade so far offensively for the Cowboys. But, yeah, I mean, them and the Seahawks both, it's like those are two really good teams that can score points.
But you have to be able to stop somebody at some point and take away their strength. Right, right, right, right.
But it's a good football play today. I think I only lost.
I may have tied one game, and that's the Cincinnati game. That's the Cincinnati game.
I'm thinking that's maybe the only one. I'm not for sure.
Well, you lost. You had the Falcons.
You had the Falcons. You had the Falcons.
I had the Falcons. You know I had the Falcons.
I just wonder where you're going to catch that. Yeah, Nick Foles came over and slapped you in the face with you know what.
But I knew it. But remember pregame? I told you I didn't want to take them, and Jamie forced me to.
I felt it in my spirit. I should have stayed with my instinct.
Yeah. God, I could have stayed with my instinct.
Coach Prime, thank you as always. Wait, Prime, I have one last question for you.
So you said that that was some fake news that came out last week when it leaked that it was going to be like Warren Sapp and Terrell Owens and everybody. Yeah, the guy got fired.
He got fired too for that fake news. Okay, so are you able to say who is on your coaching staff so far?

No, not right now.

I can't.

You guys will be the first to know because you're friends.

Okay.

Perfect.

And we might be on it.

We might be on the staff.

Hey, do you need a kicker?

Yeah, you will be.

Yeah, you need a kicker?

Do you need a kicker?

PFT is a kicker. He's got eligibility.

If you're going to be a kicker, you got to bring a snap or two.

I'll snap.

Yeah, we'll teach him.

You just can't come and kick.

I need a snap. We got a whole unit.
No, no. Hank will snap.
I'll snap. Yeah, we'll teach him.
You just can't come and kick. I need a snap.

We got a whole unit.

No, no.

Hank will snap and Big Cat's holding.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey.

You got – hey, hey.

You guys got – I'm telling you something.

You got Warren Sapp.

You got Warren Sapp on the conversation.

We got Dion speechless for the first time in his life.

He's like, okay, guys. I was thinking about Warren Sapp.
you got warren sap i told him and he watched it today and he loved it he said i'm in i'm in tell me when where what time i'm okay i'm just saying like we have some offers out there from what toledo toledo has offered has offered us yes so like right now we've narrowed it down our final we're gonna put hats on the table right now that's jack and Toledo. That's fake news.
That's fake news. Yeah.
No, they offered. That's fake news.
No, they did. They offered them.
And the key to the city for Coach Stuggs. Yeah.
Yeah. All facts.
They gave you a key to the city. Coach Stuggs did.
The key to the bathroom to the back of the sit-go. Well, that's Toledo.
One and the same. It opens all bathrooms in Toledo.
All right. Well, Coach Prime, thank you as always.
We'll see you next week, man. All right.
man alright I won the thing I just wanted to share it I just wanted to share it with you but who's counting? you don't pick against the spread it doesn't matter alright see you man see you Deion okay we're gonna wrap up with some who's back and football guy of the week before let's do football guy of the week first.

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Back to part of my take. Jake, why don't you say them all? All right.
So, by the way, Jim Mercer won last week for the bench press. Well, I think you did your sad sack football guy of the week.
None of them won, so I guess the AWLs were not in a Tom and All. Wow, so the AWLs ate kids with cancer? No comment.
Okay. Starting things off with a friend of the program, Mike Vrabel.
When asked about his favorite prize possession in his office, he showed his TV on the wall because he said he watches film on it. Love it.
Yeah. So that's pretty cliche, but still.
I mean, I'm not a football guy like him. I'm a football guy's guy.
But if someone said, like, what's your prize possession, I your prize possession I definitely would show them my three TVs because I watch football on it my TV and my dog whoa dude it's 2020 I don't own my dog my dog is a resident of this earth I possess him and he possesses I do not own my dog I'm not an owner own my dog. As an equal share.
I am not an owner of my dog. My dog is a free-range animal.
I wonder which screen Vrabel was talking about. Because football guys, you have to have at least four monitors and screens in your desk.
And three of them don't work. But you bring an IT guy in to just give you a new screen every time one shuts down.
South Carolina head coach Will Muschamp, in a promotional video, he told Gamecock fans to, quote, get the F-U-C-K out of their seats, end quote. But he said, fuck.
Yes. Yes, he said, get the fuck out of your seats.
Jake doesn't swear. I think that was...
What did he say? He told them to get the F-U-C-K out of their seats. I feel like you ever sworn on.

No,

I curse a lot.

Just like God,

the mics are hot.

He's like a sailor when the mics,

you've never sworn on.

No,

I curse a lot.

Hot mic tons.

I've never,

I've never heard you curse.

No,

I really,

you curse a lot.

I mean,

like, why do you curse so much?

Do you have a problem?

You got a problem with cursing?

Like,

what would you say?

You curse a lot?

It's like in the hot mics. You're like, what would you say? Like, fuck this with cursing? No.
What would you say? You curse a lot? Just like in the hot mics.

Yeah, like what would you say?

Like fuck this, fuck that.

Yeah.

I'm a fucking badass.

Yes.

No, no, not that.

Repeat that.

No.

What's your favorite curse word?

F-U-C-K.

We're going to get Jake to...

All right, this is now our mission.

We have to get him to swear on the podcast.

Yeah.

We'll do it.

I'm going to get like a hammer and hammer your foot. break your toe, just to hear you swear on a hot mic.
I think I cursed when I hurt my ankle playing tennis with you guys. Wow.
Yeah, you might have. What did you say? F-U-C-K-S-H-I-T.
Okay. Yeah.
I think that that was a deep fake of Will Muschamp.

No, I take that back. Oh, of the video? I think that Will Muschamp himself is a deep fake.
I think he's just like a body, and they just project some random South Carolina football fan that looks like he could be a dumb-looking head coach. They just put his face onto Will Muschamp's body.
Yeah. Yeah.
Big Cat, this is courtesy of you. Army fullbacks coach Mike Vitti

stayed standing after getting headbutted

by offensive lineman michael johnson while not wearing a helmet this is such a funny clip because army dude just bashed his coach in the head and fucked him up like he was he was out on his feet and it was just football guys just don't know their limits they forget that they have a helmet on on. They just go start bashing people.
What do you think the coach said after that? I don't know. I'm watching again right now.
He looks knocked out. He was so hurt.
He was like, I think he liked it. I think the coach was like, this is sweet.
I finally feel something. I caught a sweet buzz.
I like the fact that Army has a fullbacks coach. Just call him a strength and conditioning guy.
You need one. And then were anythings on Bubba, Liam's request.
UMass head coach Walt Bell. The moment he found out his team would be playing this season, he said, quote, I handed the baby to Maria and went to work.
Dude, UMass, the way they're playing this year has to be, I can't believe that those kids haven't opted out.

They're literally just, they don't, because they're independent.

So whenever a team cancels, like for COVID reasons,

they're just going to be there to be like,

yo, we'll come and get our, you know, get fucking worked by you guys.

Them in Central Arkansas.

They're like mercenaries for getting their ass. I respect that though.

Like they should get a medal for being around.

They're the ones that are keeping this football season going.

Jake, did you say UMass?

Oh.

UMass.

You said it again.

What is it?

University of Massachusetts Amherst.

University of Massachusetts Manhurst?

Yes.

Hmm.

Okay.

I heard ass.

I think that's fine. Will Muschamp, where does he coach? South Carolina.
What are they? Gamecocks. Okay, we'll cut out the game.
Would you say cock on camera? Cockadoodledoo. Got him.
All right. Phil Sorocco, thank you, Phil Sorocco, for sponsoring Football Guy of the Week.
Everyone vote, and we will give the winner. And also use that hashtag, TrimItToWinIt, for a chance to hang out with us.
Okay, let's wrap up. Who's back of the week? Hank, you want to start? Sure am I.
Who's back of the week? It's fuckface Jake and his fucking stupid fucking heat team. Okay, so let's talk about it.
So we have the Heat and the Lakers in the finals.

We watched game six tonight.

The Heat were the better team in the series.

I did think in your head you were like,

after winning game five, you're like, this is a series now.

Yeah, I thought it was going to go seven.

I thought they figured out the zone finally in game five, and I thought that I was like, oh, well, it's basically game one now,

and they're going to dominate.

I thought it was going to be a win game five and never look back. Brad Stevens.
Great coach. Great.
Yeah. I mean, he got out coached in this series, but that's because Spolstra is a better screen.
How many years does he have to coach before he's loses great coach without going to the finals? Like if he's if we're three more no finals appearance, three more years, you will no longer call him a great coach. I actually agree that I think he's a great coach.
I mean, last year their starting lineup was like Kyrie Irving, Al Horford. They've restructured everything in the past year, and they're still made to the Eastern Conference Finals.
Okay. Would you say, you said Spolster's a very good coach.
Is very good better than great? Great question. Spolster's a better coach in this series.
And you know what? Honestly, I'm a huge Eric Spolster fan. He's the only reason that LeBron James ever won those championships in Miami in the first place.
Ray Allen's back. Chris lost his rebound? It's mine who's back, Jake Please.
Wait your turn. And so I just hope that he can beat LeBron this time.
But honestly, it was one of those things where in the past week or two, I was really thinking about the Lakers and if the Celtics were playing the Lakers. I didn't really think that they were going to beat Anthony Davis.
He was just going to fuck them anyway. So it's better that you lose now than you lose to LeBron.

A little bit, yeah.

I mean, I think the Heat have a better chance probably than the Celtics would have. LeBron has still never beaten the Celtics in the finals.

What did you say?

LeBron has still never beaten the Celtics in the finals.

Correct.

Fact.

I think the Heat have a legitimate chance.

I mean, I assume most people are saying that the same thing.

I think they do too.

They've got like four different guys that can show up on any given night

and be the guy.

The Lakers have two.

Well, three.

Caruso.

Don't underestimate Udonis still in the locker room.

He's been part of all three titles.

And Andre Iguodala.

Yeah, with the Warriors.

10th straight finals for AI?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

And Hank? I think it's 10. Funfetti, please.
That's crazy. Yeah.
And Hank?

I think it's 10.

Funfetti, please.

Funfetti.

What is it?

Are you thinking of James...

What's his name?

James Michael McAdoo?

No, James...

No.

Was it James Jones?

Oh, yeah, because he was on the Heat.

Yeah, because he would just follow the ground around.

So he went to...

And then the Cavs.

AI did not go to finals.

It's at least six

for AI

which is still pretty good.

Yeah.

Hank.

Hank.

The cake bet.

Good who's back.

What are you going to do

with the cake bet?

I'm going to bake

fucking Jake

a stupid fucking cake.

Wow.

It's for them too.

They were part of it.

It's for us.

They can eat it.

I'm pretty pumped about it.

Six straight trips

to the finals for AI.

You should make them a birthday, Jake.

Hank, make them a birthday cake.

Hank, you're so upset.

I'm going to make him a cake.

Okay.

I have a man of my word.

What is it going to be?

A funfetti cake.

All right.

When are we getting it?

This week.

Okay.

I'm out Thursday.

PFT's out Wednesday, so can you make it Tuesday?

What are we going to do for the show on Thursday? We'll be back. We'll be show on Thursday? We'll be back Thursday night.
No, but people are going to eat it. I'll save it.
I'll put it in the studio. No, do it Tuesday.
Maybe. Can I have ice cream too? I don't know.
Are you lactose intolerant or something? No. All right, PFT, who's your who's back? My who's back of the week, I got two.
One is Dude Perfect. I lost a bet to Jeff D.
Lowe from the dozen from Lights, Camera, Barstool, where we bet on the spread of the Washington football team, Cleveland Browns game, and I have to get dressed up like the Purple Hoser for a week. So first I got to buy Purple Hoser gear.
You guys know the Purple Hoser, right? Yeah, of course. He's the one that wears purple.
So I'm going to be dressed up like the elite member of Dude Perfect for a week nonstop. That'll be great.
And then my other who's back of the week is Fat Bears. Fat Bears are back.
It's that time of year where they have that webcam set up in Alaska. And you just see bears putting on upwards of 100, 150 pounds in a week, just eating salmon all week.
Just getting it together, yeah. Great way to kill time is just watch that.
If you're a Jets fan on Sunday, I highly recommend doing that, or I guess it would be Thursday night for you this week. Instead of watching the Jets.
I actually think that one of those fat Bears could coach a more salient football program than Adam Gasek. Absolutely, and Joe Judge.
All right, my who's back is baseball playoffs. Are we excited for it or no? I was looking at it.
I think just two out of three. Marlins are playing the Cubs, which thank God there's no fans in the crowd because they would just replay like Bartman shit.
But the Marlins, do you want to say the fact about the Marlins? Never have lost a postseason series, 97-03. And they've never won a division title, both in as the card wow yep so they're um yeah it's gonna be weird so tuesday is the start but i'm i'm i'm excited fuck it how great would that be if it was marlins yankees in the world series derrick jeter 03 yeah someone tried to say i saw some tweet being like derrick jeter that everyone doubted derricketer, look what he's done.
It's like, dude, they let half the fucking league into the playoffs. The Marlins are like 30-28 and they limped in.
He didn't put together some juggernaut. But it's still impressive.
They also almost canceled the season for everybody. Yes.
We don't talk about that. Yes.
But I'm excited. I'm excited for the baseball playoffs.
I'm excited uh it's going to be great because it's just intense day sports which we need more of also the mac i forgot what have we taped no mac came back on the mac yeah mac is also i've i've heard word that the mac is going to play pretty much exclusively a weekday schedule perfect so i think they're going to play maybe a couple weekends at the end schedule, but they're going to be like, we own this. So who's playing the game first? Is it the Mac or the Pac-12? I think the Pac-12 got beat.
I think, I don't know when the Mac's coming back, but I just know that the Mac, that was the smartest thing they could ever do because there will be a moment in late October, November, where we will not have sports on Tuesday and Wednesday nights because there's no basketball or hockey. And that's where baseball's done.
So the MAAC will be king. It will be the only thing you can watch and finally we get the shine that we deserve.
What has happened with those teams? They were told that their season's canceled. Did they all just keep practicing just in case a football game broke out? Or just hanging out.
I don't know if they practiced. What else am I going to do? Yeah.
Right. Respect.
I like that. Jake, you want to finish with the who's back? Because your heat won.
It was actually going to be, sorry, Steve Bartman. They're just going to play that.
Why don't you do that? Why don't you do the heat? I know. The whole reason I asked for you to do the who's back was I thought you were going to go after Hank again.
Why would you do that against me? I mean, it was in my... It's true.
Steve Bartman is back. Go back against Hank.
Steve Bartman is back. Go back against Hank.
Yeah. Like, think about it.
They're going to show the Steve Barman play. No, because there's no fans, Hank.
They should do one card. They're no fans.
Yeah, but the storylines, you've got to think about it. Hank, as a producer, you know they're going to tell him.
And have him be that one guy. Jake's right.
No fans. Jake's right.
Hank, how cool would that be? Jake's right. I mean, the Celtics lost and the Heat won.
You're a Heat fan the next two weeks. Facts.
Yeah, we're all Heat fans. We are a Heat podcast.
We should actually change the cover art and be like number one Heat podcast. Just have it be like Miami Vice style colors.
I like that. I'm actually working on a bet.
Hopefully we'll have it out on the Barstool Sportsbook of whose team is it. And it's just going to be who's going to win.
Who's going to score more points, AD or LeBron, just so that we can be like. Just in the whole series? Yeah.
So we can be like, yeah, AD is the one who deserves this. I mean, Jimmy Butler could be top five player ever.
Ever. He is top five player right now.
Right now. Absolutely.
I mean, he beat Giannis. Hero is a bucket.
Hero is the top one bucket in the NFL. He rolls out a bit wet.
Yeah, he does. He really does.
All right. That's our show.
We'll see everyone on Wednesday. Yeah, let's do a lottery.
Before we do a lottery, let's go to Billy's fun fact of the week. Billy, do you have a fun fact? Primate? Primate? Do you know koalas can get herpes? Worms have seven hearts.
When Billy doesn't have a fact, he just falls back on something his grandfather told him when he was three. Did you know all dogs go to heaven? That's a fact.
We miss you, Billy. Love you, Billy.
All right. Go quick.
18. 31.
Four. Because it's not a fast number.
Four.

31.

I can't not say it.

Five.

God damn it.

So close.

I was one off.

That's insane.

Shout out McNabb.

One off.

Yeah, shout out McNabb.

Thought that you could tie in the Super Bowl.

We just wouldn't have a Super Bowl champion.

See you every Wednesday.

Love you guys.