Football Is Back, Tony Hawk, And Bigger Than Ben Part 3

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On today's Pardon My Take, football is back.

We have football to talk about.

We have the first game in the books.

We have the weekend preview.

We have everything.

We also have Tony Hawk.

Great interview with Tony Hawk, legend of the game. Second time we've had him on.
Recurring guest Tony Hawk. We have Fyre Fest.
We have Big Ben Roethlisberger's documentary part three. What a fucking show for our first Football Friday.
Get excited. And it's all brought to you by our friends at Nashville.
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Okay, let's go.

Fight!

Fight! Okay, let's go. Hang out on Washington.
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Today is Friday, September 11th. And football is back.
So back. Fuck yes.
It felt so good. Andy Reid wearing his foggy ass mask that I could have watched him.
he's it. It actually looked like those like when you when you see a dog on the sidewalk that has this special collar around their mouth so they don't bite you.
Just Andy. Just.
Yeah, that's what. No, not the leash one where it's like around their nose.
Right. He has that so that he can't go around and just eat everything in sight.
That's where it is actually a buffet sneeze guard. Yeah.
He went to Golden Corral and he was like, was like you know what put one of those on my face seeing him just get kind of drenched in water having that thing fog up oh he needs a windshield wiper on the front of it so good verbal meme uh any reed wearing the the mask when she's got that wet ass pussy nice whapping it uh no chance any reed even knows what the whap is but uh great to have football back it felt real the Chiefs newsflash are really really really fucking good uh it's I mean that's kind of all you have to say about that game like I don't I don't think the Texans are as bad as they looked at times I think the Chiefs are just really really fucking good Super Bowl champs for a reason. There's nothing that you could do to stop the Chiefs, win their offenses, something like that.
There's absolutely nothing you can do. And now they have Clyde.
And let me just start by saying Clyde's a cool-ass name. Clyde is a really cool-ass name.
There need to be more people named Clyde in this world. I agree.
I think we'd all be much happier. You can't get mad.
You can't be like, fuck you, Clyde. It doesn't work it's a cool ass smooth name and uh yeah he looks awesome Clyde Edwards Allaire not Hilaria yeah Jake Marsh actually had that wrong today so mark that in the book something that Jake Marsh got wrong I got right I watched LSU yeah I looked up the pronunciation guide afterwards and I admitted I was wrong before however if I, if I was following the game, I would have done enough research and looked at the pronunciation guide and practiced it, saying it out loud a few times.
Okay. Al Michaels admitted it, too.
You're in good company. Yes.
He screwed it up. The Fresh Prince of L.A.R.
Yes. So they look awesome.
Chiefs look fucking awesome. I don't really know what else to say besides the Chiefs look fucking awesome.
I think more than anything tonight was just a celebration of me celebrating that football was back. And also seeing all the weird stuff.
Getting introduced to all the weird stuff that we're going to see over the course of this season. Like the coaches wearing the masks on the sidelines.
Bill O'Brien wearing the Sub-Zero mask that covered up his little butthole on his chin. He looked evil out there.
Bill O'Brien looked intimidating. Yeah, until you realize that he was going to punt from the 50-yard line like four times.
And he's like, oh, yeah, that's still Bill O'Brien under that mask. That's O'Brien football.
He doesn't want to get Will Fuller hurt. That's how injuries and soft tissue things happen is when you try to take too many shots downfield when you're losing by 20.
It also really did feel – I know they piped in the noise. There were fans there.
I think there were 20,000, 25,000 fans there. But, you know, the only part we're really going to miss is just like the crowd shots.
Obviously, NFL fans are the funniest fans in the world. And missing that crowd shot, that will take a little bit away.
But if they pipe in the noise for the broadcast, I'm in like it doesn't just just don't even show the crowd don't let us know that it's there's no one there and you can kind of just pretend it's it's all fine well goodell was in the crowd today yes he was a massive he was on his phone bad fan he should be at every game actually they should just have roger goodell at least during every time slot goodell should be up in the stands by himself on his phone looking at i don't know tinder finding like the the green m&m or whatever he's looking at i don't know what roger goodell searches for online but uh probably just easy chairs yeah man caves yeah sweaters m&m holders uh all right so we're gonna we're gonna do a full uh nfl Is he doing that, by the way? What? The man cave?

No, I don't think so. Like he promised.

I think it just ended.

Crazy.

I think it's just over.

So how many children did he kill?

200,000 at least.

He killed 200,000 children.

Wow.

Damn.

Kony.

You should get on that fast.

Kony 2020.

All right, so we're going to get to our football preview.

We're going to have some picks.

Before we do that, let's talk a little NBA because we have a game seven tonight.

Hank, how are you feeling?

I'm feeling nervous.

I'm not going to have some picks. Before we do that, let's talk a little NBA because we have a Game 7 tonight.
Hank, how are you feeling? I'm feeling nervous. I'm not going to lie.
Because you're playing against the refs too? I don't think Game 7 will be against the refs. Game 6 was clearly like the NBA.
And you know, we've been doing stool streams. I've kind of been doing some behind the scenes, like putting together broadcasts.
I understand where the NBA is coming from, where it might use. I may not have.
Bombs, are you admitting that you're fucking with the games for ratings, Hank? No, but I understand where they're like. It sounds to me like that's what you just admitted.
If we were a billion-dollar corporation and we just went through a pandemic and we needed the best ratings we could possibly get, and if we could just tell the refs. We're all those things.
No, but we're not. Like, Stoolstream's not if we could tell the refs, just call everything against the Celtics so we can get a Game 7 for ratings,

I understand it. I understand it.

It was clearly

the post-game report,

whatever the fuck it's called, came out today.

Everything that happened down the stretch that

was supposed to get called against the Celtics didn't.

They admitted it, which is the craziest. That happens

every single day. I know it's not just the Celtics,

but every day, that report comes out and they're like, every call in the last 20 seconds was wrong. Doesn't it make more sense, though, to ensure that the Celtics get to the next round because that's where you would make more money off the viewership as opposed to one game seven in the second round? Yeah, but the Celtics have clearly been the better team in the series.
They should have won game three. They should have won game six.
The fact that it is a Game 7, anything can happen. It just feels wonky and it doesn't sit well with me.
I'm nervous. I do think that the Celtics are the better team and it should have been a 4-game, 5-game max series.
So, Hank, you're Gucci. I just love that Kyle Lowry is now the new guy that people just run out of things to say about how much of a competitor he is.
That guy's a dog.

It's an honor.

He just wants it more. It's an honor for Nick Nurse to coach him.

Right.

It's only for the guys that are good but not superstar good.

Nick Nurse doesn't coach him.

He admires him.

Right.

They're not so incredible that they can just completely dominate all the time.

It's that extra bit where they're very good, and then they just want it more than everyone else on the court and there is no star player on their team yes yes and you'll just get a lot of man kyle lowry's so underrated which maybe he is um all right so that and then we have we're on a collision course for lakers clippers stop me if you've heard this before james harden sucked in a playoff game which i guess if you're james harden and you're gonna suck in a playoff game do it when uh the houston texans are playing and football's back and no one really is paying attention to the nba game so uh good job james harden making sure that you picked it perfectly to go up against football that's actually that's probably the only the only time we'll ever be able to use this spin zone. James Harden, no one cares that you sucked in a playoff game because there was football on.
Yeah. That will never again happen.
The series is over. It's going to be a gentleman's sweep for the Lakers.
They're D-U-N, done. Reminder, James Harden, listen to this stat line.
He scored 21 points. How many field goals do you think he had? Made.
Five. Two.
He scored 21 points how many uh how many field goals do you think he had made five two he scored 21 points he went 16 for 20 from the free throw line gotta get to the line 16 for 20 from the free throw line 21 points i think two for 11 one for six from three i mean hard i think that's really the main reason why hardin gets to the line is not because he can get so many more points off it,

but he gets a nice little break.

Yeah, he can stand still.

He can score standing still.

Yeah, he gets to just catch his breath for a while.

He also just ran out of gas,

which happens every single time that he plays in the playoffs.

Well, that's the other concern with the Celtics,

and I think the Rockets are going through it now,

but the fact that the NBA is playing every other day,

so Rockets went to a Game 7 last series,

and then they were just playing Game 1 two days later and have had to play every other day. So Rockets had a game, went to a Game 7 last series, and then they were just playing Game 1 two days later and have had to play every other day.
So if the Celtics advance, that's going to be a concern, like going into Game 3 and Game 4 and Game 5. If the Celtics lose on a Friday night, does that ruin your whole weekend? Yeah.
Yeah. I hope that doesn't happen.
But the Patriots are on Sunday. That's the beauty of this thing, being in fall.

Even, yeah, the Patriots on Sunday, if Cam Newton goes out, lights it up,

I think it's going to be like the first Brady Moss year.

I expect nothing less.

Who's Moss?

The whole team.

Edelman.

Everyone.

Combined.

Edelman and Nikhil Harit combined.

Actually, I'd actually agree with you.

The entire team combined might have, what do you have, like 23 touchdowns that year? Yeah, okay. And Cam Newton is Tom Brady.
Yeah. So he's got 50.
So he can't throw the deep ball anymore. Well, combined with rushing, he's going to rush a lot too.
Got it. Okay.
So that can wash away the weekend. Well, good segue, Hank.
Let's get to our weekend preview. We have some picks coming up.
coming up before we do that Sundays this fall on CBS All Access the NFL on CBS returns stream your local game live on CBS All Access be there from week one all the way to Super Bowl 55 that's actually great news we got I don't know Jim on the Super Bowl and it's to be great to hear Jim Nance back. NFL on CBS is back.

Watch it live on CBS All Access.

Visit cbs.com slash NFL to start your free trial now.

I mean, what more do I have to say?

You're going to get to watch football right there.

Everyone who's cut cords, boom, done.

CBS All Access.

Watch it on your computer.

Boom.

cbs.com slash NFL. Go watch Sundays this fall on CBS All Access.
Thank you, CBS. I will be watching on CBS.com slash NFL.
You can also go to at CBS All Access on Twitter. Okay.
Let's do a rapid fire. Weekend preview.
Gut check takes. Gut check takes.
We'll do our picks at the end. So feel free to just kind of throw like, hey, this isn't your official pick.
Not that we even keep records or anything like that. But we'll start.
I'm just going to go straight down the line. Seahawks, Falcons.
10 out of 11 starters on the Falcons. Our first round draft picks.
How can you not love that? How can you not love just the Falcons? I also love that it's a really far trip for the Seahawks. For whatever reason, I always feel like Atlanta is the farthest away from Seattle, even though I don't think it's true.
It just feels like a long trip. And these are two teams that always play in fucking crazy games.
I have no prediction for this game, but I do predict that whatever happens is going to be extremely weird

the seahawks are going to be an interesting case this year because we might have the first time

uh ever in the nfl that social media bullies pete carroll into actually letting his mvp caliber

quarterback throw the ball more no there's no chance there's no chance is what's going on right

now on twitter let russ cook there's no chance it has to let him cook no carol p carroll is he has a doctorate in establishing the run you idiot he is still establishing the run from two seasons ago he's not going to stop they're going to chris carson's going to get 27 carries all right so jets bills are the next one um i had, really dark thought earlier today, and I want to give a trigger warning to all Bills fans. What if the Bills go like 13-3 and win the AFC East and maybe even get a first-round buy, get the 1C? They might not get the 1C.
We'll call that the Chiefs. But get a home playoff game, and we can't have any fans i think they'll manage that's so fucking sad though just think about that think about like i close my eyes and think about those early games in buffalo when the fans like all the buffalonians don't know how to deal with being in the sun and they all like look like cooked lobsters by the third quarter but they're so fucking drunk and so happy to have the bills back and we just get robbed of that fuck you coronavirus i think no matter what happens bills fans if it gets to that level you've been asking for a vaccine for a very long time i think you led the charge and saying that that was a good thing you will get the entire city of buffalo signing up for whatever the first trial it is and be like just shoot me up with it if it means that they don't even have to go into the stadium just let me tailgate out in the lot and get hammered and we'll watch on a giant screen like they do in toronto in jurassic park right they will have they will have a buffalo park that they will all sit and watch the games together and um i think the jets are gonna be a hot mess again jets are trash until flacco gets in then we'll reevaluate at that point but for right now i like the bills by Bills by double digits.
Can I ask a question, too? The other thought I had about this game, Sam Darnold, like for some reason everyone's like, oh, Sam Darnold, he's going to be great, but didn't they make fun of Josh Allen? What gives? Sam Darnold doesn't have mono anymore. What gives? What gives? Because he went to USC? All right, whatever.
Bears-Lions. Mitch Trubisky owns the Lions.
That's enough said. I think this is the start of the Mitch Revenge Tour.
The only thing that scares me, I don't even know if he's playing, but Adrian Peterson will always scare me because he used to run all over the Bears. Right.
I also think that Matt Patricia, we're going to find out if the team hates the shit out of him or not. They definitely don't love him yet.
Oh, we're on that watch again. I like this.
Yeah, we are. We've been on that watch for two years.
We are. So they either are ambivalent towards him, and they could go on a run and win like four games in a row, and then they'll be like, yeah, we love this guy.
Or they could start off real slow, in which case he is going to be looking for the locker room. The Lions also fall under my category of team that people, some of the prognosticators are picking just because they don't want to be like everyone else.

So they look through the whole list and they're like,

what's the one pick I can do that's not like everyone else?

And then they're all picking the Lions, which now has become like everyone else.

Well, whoever wins this game is going to be setting themselves up big time.

So as a Bears fan, you beat the Lions and you're going to think we are good.

If the Lions, they beat the Bears, they're going to think we are good.

You're going to look at the best parts of the other team

and you're going to be like, you know what?

I'm going to go, we are good. If the Lions beat the Bears, they're going to think, we are good.
You're going to look at the best parts of the other team and you're going to be like, you know what? The Bears were able to contain Matt Stafford. He only threw for 320 yards, two picks and two touchdowns.
And you're going to be like, we can do that against anybody. If the Lions beat the Bears, they're going to be like, yeah, we were able to handle the toughest defense in the league.
And then you both fool yourselves into thinking that you're going to go like 11 and five, 12 and four. I mean, I'm, I fooled myself in that already, but I know it's not true.
All right. Packers Vikings.
This is actually one of my picks on the total, but I go back and forth. I, part of me thinks that this is a prime Aaron Rogers, fuck you tour.
But I'm also thinking that if the Packers start slow and the Cowboys start fast, Aaron Rodgers is going to be like, whoops, Mike McCarthy, not so bad. And things can fall apart quickly.
And that's what I'm rooting for. That's probably true.
He's going to look back on his exes right now. He but he did say that him and Matt LaFleur right now are hashtag friend goals.
Okay. The hashtag that we commonly use in today's parlance is hashtag friend goals.
And so apparently they're getting along really well. But that's definitely not something that you say about somebody that you are actually hashtag friend goals with.
Because a person that you're hashtag friend goals would kick your ass for saying hashtag Fringles. Would never allow it.
Hank, Dolphins Patriots, how are we feeling? Ryan Fitzpatrick, you're going from week 17 last year. Ryan Fitzpatrick kind of ending the Patriots season.
Yeah. Because it takes away their bye to Ryan Fitzpatrick coming back week one.
How are you feeling? I feel great. I mean, we talked about it before.
It's basically a Bill Belichick revenge tour of sorts. A lot of

revenge tours going on this year. Oh, dude, there's got

to be a lot. It's like a Bill and Cam.
I'm sure

their friend goals, they just, you know, they don't talk about it.

But everything that's been reported

from the New England camp has been great.

Cam Newton seems healthy. So you're like a fucking

ESPN

Boston. Well, what's interesting

is Michael Smith. I'm hearing all the reports from Patriot circles are saying that Belichick is happy with Cam.
So, actually, it brings up a good point because if you've noticed... He's dancing around and doing stretches and stuff.
He's having fun. What Belichick's been saying about Cam Newton is very unlike anything that he's said about tom brady in the last like four years that's he's been very very slow to give brady any praise about anything it almost feels like he's praising cam newton like a little bit too much well he made him a captain i i guess i like of course i think belichick i don't think belichick lies i think he tells you how he feels.
Like, he's not that type of guy. But I also laugh whenever we come out of camp and everything's hunky-dory with every single team.
Like, what else would they say? Like, I'm sure Belichick gets asked about Cam Newton every single day. I'm sure Cam Newton gets asked about Belichick every single day.
What are they going to be like, yeah, I actually kind of fucking hate the guy? So let's just see how it goes. I'm just saying he's – I just love Cam's stories.
I just love Cam. I mean it's the Mitch.
Mitch being like, I found my confidence. He's talking up Cam a little bit too much.
He's like Cam Newton is just an amazing competitor. I love everything that he does.
He's tall. I love his hats.
I love the way that he texts me when I can't understand him. He laughs at my jokes.
Yeah, he thinks I'm hilarious. Alex Guerrero's not around.
He does this great impression of me that everybody seems to laugh at that I don't understand. He is absolutely gassing up Cam Newton.
Almost like you're introducing a new girlfriend to your friends a little bit, and you talk her up so much because you're afraid of what they're going to think about her. Do you think late at night Julian Edelman is watching Instagram stories of Gronk and Brady and being like, damn.
Or do you think he's fine? No, I think he opens up Instagram stories, but it's his own, and it's facing him, and he's just watching himself. Flexing.
Always in a flex. Yeah, putting filters on his own belly button.
Jake. Hank, potential if the Celtics win tomorrow, Dolphins, Patriots, and Heat Celtics coming this week.
Oh, wow. Boston versus Miami.
Kate versus Hank. And PFT.
He's a Heat fan. Yeah, that's right.
Jay Butt. I actually, I'm rooting for Jay Butt as well.
Let's go. Hank against the world.
You guys gotta have a bet. If the Patriots beat the Dolphins on Sunday, Jake has to eat an entire cake.
If the Dolphins beat the Patriots, Hank has to get a cat. No.
You thought about it for a second, though. Like, that was longer.
Well, I don't, because I, like, I'm not going to go into my psyche. I just, there's no chance the Patriots are going to lose.
Let's just say that Jake has to eat a cake because then we can help him eat the cake. And I love cake.
Yeah, true. It is cake season, baby.
Okay. Pie season starts October.
If the Patriots win, Jake has to eat a cake. And if the Dolphins win, Hank has to eat a whole cake.
What about if the Celtics are involved? We'll deal with that when we get there. Hank's got to get there.
Yeah. All right.
Eagles versus the Washington football team. And me and Big Cat get to choose what type of cake it is.
Yes. And eat three quarters of it before we bring it in.
I feel like the Eagles and the Washington football team have played in week one like 17 years in a row. They do this a lot.
The football team with no name. This is my – I'm going to do a bird alert on the Eagles because I think that the Washington football team, I think that they could win this game.
This could be a weird game where it's a new head coach in a new place. The team's going to be playing for Ron Rivera this week.
No one knows what to expect out of him. Del Rio is a very good defensive coordinator.
I like the Washington artists formerly known as the Redskins. I don't.
Is Dwayne Haskins still the quarterback? Dwayne Haskins, first round pick, 15th overall. Not as good as second pick overall.
I don't, I just I got to see it from Dwayne Hussins still the quarterback? Dwayne Haskins, first-round pick, 15th overall. Yeah, eesh.
Not as good as second pick overall. I don't – I just – I got to see it from Dwayne Haskins.
I'm not saying it's over. It's still early.
I got to see it. Raiders, the Panthers.
This is – you know what this game is? Who cares? It's a classic. It'll be interesting to see what the Panthers look like.
No, this is a game. This is the prime.
Well, actually, let's do this together.

Colts, Jaguars, Raiders, Panthers.

Those are both prime.

We forgot those games were on when we were watching Red Zone.

Yeah.

And they just show it.

Well, the Raiders, that's every Raiders game.

Yeah, they just show it like once every hour.

They're like, checking in in Carolina.

What?

Oh, yeah, fuck.

It's actually going to be really weird to see the Raiders on the early Red Zone.

They are definitely a mid to late afternoon Red Zone team that they check in on. It's like 17-3 in the fourth quarter.
And they're like, oh, here's a field goal. That's our highlight.
Back to the real games you care about. I also, part of me just wants to take the Panthers just because I'm like, ooh, Joe Brady.
What he did at LSU. He's going to do it again with the Panthers.
I'm just upset that Rule's not going to be wearing the smock. Yeah.
I think he loses a couple games early. He's going to bring the smock back.
Spitting on himself. Browns at Ravens.
We're going to do PR 101 for Odell Beckham after Tony Hawk. You know what? I'm not going to do it.
I'm going to wait. You like the Browns.
No, I'm just. Oh, no.
I know what this is. You want to drop the fraud word on the Ravens already right off the bat.
No, I'm not going to do it. All I'll say is I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going to do it. They're a very good team.
Lamar Jackson's a very good quarterback. Good for you, Ravens.
Although, this is another it will be interesting to see because Stefanski is his first game as a head coach.

He said, you know what he said today, he's keeping the team hungry.

He's going to have 16 captains this year.

He said, you don't need a C on your chest to be a great leader.

Stefanski is...

Confirmed supporter of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

Stefanski is, if he can read, if he can just read,

like I'm talking a book, not even a defense, not nothing. If he can read, he's an upgrade from Freddie Kitchens.
Let me ask you this question. If he can not poop his pants on the sidelines and look like an idiot all the time, no offense, Freddie Kitchens, you were bad.
You were really bad. That is an instant upgrade.
Is his name Hugh Jackson? No. Okay.
Is his name Freddie Kitchens? No. Is his name Rod Chudzinski? No.
Boom. Upgrade.
Upgrade. Get excited.
Bengals, Chargers. Bengals are going to blow out.
Bucs, Saints. I'm just going to say Joe Burrow is going to blow them out every single week.
Bucs, Saints. This will be a very fun game.
This is our afternoon delicious game where everyone can the game of the week joe buck james winston revenge game james winston oh my god he knows all the secrets of bruce arians yeah he knows all the places that he that bruce doesn't want them to pass the ball here's my hot take about the bucks in this game feel like whatever's going to happen week one we're going to overreact to with the Bucs and it's going to be the exact opposite. So if they suck week one, they're going to go 13-3.
And if Tom Brady's incredible week one, he's going to fall off a cliff. I think we're going to, no matter which way it goes, we're going to overreact.
Well, what has to happen is we need the Buccaneers to win and the Patriots to lose or the Patriots to win and the Buccaneers to lose so that we can really hammer into that next week and be like, Storylines. Storylines.
Tom made the wrong decision. Tom made the right decision.
Storylines. This weekend is a referendum on the life-altering change of course that Tom Brady made.
Yeah, storylines. Can never be taken back.
Cardinals, 49ers, Super Bowl hangover, except George Kittle. Yep, George Kittle.
And also, I just don't think that the Cardinals, do they even have a defense? Everyone loves them. Well, Isaiah Simmons is a fucking stud who they drafted with the eighth pick.
I will never think that the Cardinals have a defense, no matter what, especially when Cliff Kingsbury is coaching the team. I will look at that team and I will say, that man is a Big 12 coach.
He doesn't have any landscaping whatsoever in his backyard. That is not a defensive-oriented football team.
Tonight was the first step in me realizing DeAndre Hopkins isn't on the Texans anymore. I still am going to need him to score like three or four touchdowns in a Cardinals uniform for me to fully be like, oh, yeah, DeAndre Hopkins on the

Cardinals.

Last one.

Cowboys Rams over.

Yep.

That's all.

That's all I had.

Actually, I'll start there.

Let's start with our picks over.

That will be my over.

That's my over.

That's your over.

That's my fast turf.

Enough said.

Yeah.

Enough said Hank.

What's your over pick?

Patriots.

Patriots.

Okay.

Huh? Underdog. said yeah enough said hank what's your over pick patriots patriots okay huh uh underdog hank you're not prepared for this my underdog we did this you did forget okay bengals plus three and a half minor dog is the washington football team the team with no name plus five and a half Okay, Hank, we'll come back to you.
My under is the Packers Vikings under 45. Lock it up.
Okay. I've got the Cardinals 49ers at 48.
Okay. That's your under.
That's my under. That's your under.
Although I just said a second ago that the Cardinals don't have a defense. But that's fine.
I don't give a shit. You know what? If it was 49, that would be a sign, and I would say yes.
Yeah. Take the over.
But since it's not, I'm taking the under. Bears are my underdog.
Bears are your underdog. Nice, Hank.
Good pick. Pander pick.
Good pick. And then my favorite is going to be the Bills, minus 6.5.
That's what I had as well. Whoop that ass.
Yep. The Jets are the Jets.
It's bad to run the same on two of them. The Jets are the Jets, and they will continue to be the Jets until proven otherwise.
Correct. Hank, you want to clean up whatever you got left? Stillers for my favorite.
Okay. That's Monday.
That's Monday. That's okay.
We don't include Monday night on this? Yeah, you can. You can do whatever you want.
Do whatever you want. And then Seahawks, Falcons, for my over.

Okay, perfect. I like that.

You're not a believer in Joe Judge.

I think the Giants might come out hot.

I mean, they're the only team that's been tackling.

They're just going to be so excited to not hit each other.

All right, and I have my can't-lose parlay, the first one of the year.

It cannot lose.

Eagles, Colts, Bills, one to win 1.5. That will not lose.
Eagles, Colts, Bills, one to win 1.5.

That will not lose.

Eagles, Colts, Bills.

That will not lose.

There's no chance that loses.

The can't lose parlay is back, and it cannot lose.

It will not lose.

Agreed?

Billy?

I agree.

Thank you, Billy.

I just need one person to tell me it cannot lose.

I just said it can't lose. Colts? Who else? Eagles? Eagles? Eagles? Bills.
Moneyline? Cannot lose. Moneyline? Cannot lose.
I'm telling you right now, there is no way it loses because it is the can't. It says it right in the name, PFT.
Do I need to refresh you on what the can't lose? It says can't lose parlay. I think you're forgetting.
Can't lose parlay cannot lose. I think you're forgetting that I said just a moment ago that Eagles are on bird alert.
The Eagles are going to beat the Washington football team. The Colts are going to beat the Jaguars.
The Bills are going to beat the Jets. And the can't lose parlay will march on 1-0.
Okay. Let's get to.
Oh, so you want to introduce this before we get to tony hawk we're gonna do something a little different yeah so we're gonna we're gonna fuck around with fancy fuck boys a little bit this year they will be making their return but we're gonna switch it up on a weekly basis between some new friends that we've got so this uh what is it what are we calling this one i don't know uh the fancy lax Lacks Bros. Fancy Lacks Bros.
Hank, do you want to start? Sure. Nice.
My name is Ronald Swift. My stardom is shitty college basketball teams.
Participation trophy culture struck again, and they want to put 365 teams in the March Madness bracket. So if your team sucks, it doesn't matter because you'll still get a chance at the championship.
That's pretty chill though if you don't have the championship pedigree or whatever. I know Duke is pretty sweet.
UVA, they win a lot, but Johns Hopkins, they never get a chance. For sure.
My sentiment is Joe Rogan. I know all my friends are probably like, what the fuck, dude? I like this.
But his new podcast studio sucks. Oh, dude.
Oh, no. Harsh vibes.
Is Jamie still there? And he's getting censored by Spotify. He just switched over there, and they can't even get his old podcast out there.
He took Alex Jones off. It's just a trip, man.
Just can't even know free speech anymore. It's fucked up.
Dude, it's crazy.

Jamie, pull up the First Amendment.

And my statement is Jarvis Landry.

Everyone's talking about the poop when they talk about the browns.

But after this week, I think they're going to be talking about the juice.

Oh, the juice and the poop.

Juicin' it. Okay, juicin' it.

Eat clean.

Billy, you want to go, bro?

Yo, my name's Billy.

Billy.

Yo, my name's Buckley Digby. My stardom is oil changes.
Just take clean piss, catheter, oil change. My sit-em is Billy.
Also important for upkeep on your wrangler. Yeah, dude.
Do it yourself it yourself. Sure.
Don't go to the Jiffy with her.

For sure. Dude, my sit-em is gender reveals.

Because only you can stop forest fires.

Yeah.

Fuck fire.

Yeah.

You shouldn't get a gender reveal

until you're, like,

old enough to show you got balls, you know?

Yo, Digby,

give us a fucking sick animal fact.

Dude, I got...

You already did those.

Okay, have you more?

All right, do your sleeper.

Do your sleeper.

Yo, my sleeper is...

Thank you. Sick animal fact.
Dude, I got... You already did those.
Okay. All right, do your sleeper.
Do your sleeper. Yo, my sleeper is...
Sick animal fact. Dude, my sleeper.
Your brain. Bro, you beefed it.
It's Hayden. You beefed this, dude.
Dude, what the fuck's his name again? Hayden Hurst. Pinotarian.
He's a tight end. Yeah, Tight.
He's fucking tight, bro. Dude, he's so tight.
And he's actually going to pick you up some points. Did you say on the Hawks? He's on the Hawks.
Yeah, the Hawks. The S-Hawks.
The Hawks. The Hawks.
He's got DK Metcalf. Wait, is he on the Atlanta Hawks? As the crow flies, there's no fast Seattle.
Atlanta Falcons. Seattle Falcons.
Dude, sorry. He's on the Falcons Thanks Buckley What's up guys It's Weston Preston The 4th Junior I'm starting my dad's boat You gotta start your dad's boat this weekend It's pretty chill BUI is about to expire The boat's good to go Get on the water to Lake and Wake.
It's also September, so no more sunscreen. Sun's done.
You don't have to lather up once summer's officially over. SPF season.
See ya. Get the raised bacon and the chicks naked.
Nice. My sit-in, I'm sit-in Odell Beckham.
Sit in, dude. Don't get political.
I'm letting him sit on me. He's sitting, Odell Beckham's sitting.
Baker's going to be cooking up his fudge, tossing it right at his chest, and it's going to bounce right off his numbers. Odell Beckham, I'm sitting him.
Grubby, stinky hands this week. Dude, Baker's so chill.
So many commercials. Baker's a good dude.
I like him in all the commercials. Yeah, dude, you gotta get that Merch money.
Dude, he's got so many commercials and his touchdown to the interception ratio. No, no, no, no.
Don't. That sounds like.
Diggs, you're being a fucking loser. That sounds like numbers.
I know I'm being a downer. No, you're being a poser.
You know, only stat I care about is how chill you are. He's an 11.
His chill to pull ratio is actually fucking sick.

Did you say his pool ratio?

His chill to pull ratio.

I was going to say like. It's like how chill he is and how many chicks he pulls.

Yeah, his chill in to pull ratio.

He's always just hanging down by the waves.

What do you got for your sleeper?

My sleeper.

I'm sleeping GHB.

That's my sleeper.

If you want to get bundled but stay keto, it's GHB all the way. For the boys only.
For the boys only. Keep it responsible.
It can't fall into the wrong hands or else I'll lose my scholarship again. We are just.
Yeah, that's right. Just got to be smart.
A zillion milliliters this weekend, bros. Yeah.
Zilly, zilly. Zillies.
All right. My stardom is Josh Allen.
That dude is fucking so sick. He throws so far.
Top cheddar of the stadium. Dude, I once fucking played a little froth with Josh.
Talk about banging chains. Yeah, let's bang the chains.
Let's move the chains. You okay with that? I played beer dive with Sam Darnold once.
Did you actually? Yeah. You got mono, man all right my sit-em is uh your chick taking your favorite hoodie after uh after you have a bang sash that's back yeah it's all this fall but then you get to be like hey uh i need my hoodie back and then you go over to her apartment right and then she yeah double down on her.
She looks kind of tight, though, in that sick, like, when she wears your letters. Simp.
And then my sit-em is Skip Bayless, or sleeper is Skip Bayless. I'm starting to think Skip Bayless kind of...
Oh, I forgot to say my name, by the way. I'm Brody Wolf.
I'm starting to think that Skip Bayless kind of fucking sucks, dude. He's not chill anymore.
Dude, he's kind of an asshole. I respect the fact that he has the microwave down at penis level to cook up your piss if you got to do an oil change.
Dude, I wish that just fucking zapped his whole balls off. It should have zapped his whole face off.
Yeah. All right.
That's. I will see how that goes.
I thought it was good. Yeah.
Yeah. Skip skip billis does suck by the way we we should at least mention that um one of the worst takes ever it's it's rare that uh everyone everyone online kind of hates skip billis we actually like him in an ironic fashion well i but this time it's like no dude you this isn't even funny ironically you're a dick.
I like him the same way that you like an animal, like a very dangerous animal at the zoo that you can look at and observe, but you don't want to get into the enclosure with him or else he'll get shot. He basically said Dak Prescott, whose brother died via suicide.
I don't know how to say that correctly. He died.
suicide uh i think in april or march dac opened up about struggling with depression and it was like everything that we have done as a society when it comes to mental health this is these are the type of moments that you hope for where a guy can say hey i've been dealing with some stuff like i'm open about it i'm showing you i'm vulnerable we talked about this with kevin love a couple weeks ago that's how people's lives get saved that's how you make a difference and skip bayless basically just shit on it being like yeah like he showed a moment of weakness he's the leader of the dallas cowboys this isn't a leader quality blah blah blah fuck you skip bayless i think that uh in a weird way one of the sickest parts of what he said was that he was saying that the real issue here was that you can't be the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. Correct.
And have something like this. And Skip Bayless's weird brain, you could be the quarterback of the Los Angeles Chargers.
The Jaguars. Or the Jaguars.
And it's okay to do this. But this is the Dallas Cowboys.
He, in Skip Bayless' mind, the best job in the world that should have the most perfect person in the world is the Dallas Cowboys quarterback. And obviously they are people as well.
Skip doesn't, I guess, realize that. But also in a weird way, in a Rudy Gobert type way, Skip might have actually been a hero of mental illness correct because he got everybody to talk

about what a shithead he is for having this terrible take and maybe maybe more people paid attention to it yeah that's true is skip a hero who's to say yeah the big question is going to be whether or not uh he actually apologized we saw fox released a statement it seems like probably everyone at like Fox and FS one is like, what the fuck, dude? Like, why? Why? But will Skip apologize? We were actually talking about it before the show. I have a feeling he's going to be like, that's not what I meant.
But the reality of it for Skip Bayless is he was very clear what he meant. Yeah, it was actually like a very well put together argument of the worst point ever.
Right. Like I know straightforward.
I know exactly. This is what I mean.
It sucks. You can't argue way out.
Maybe you could pull a Tom Brenneman and say like, I've never said those words before in my life. It was a slip of the tongue.
I didn't mean to say that you should not show weakness if your brother committed suicide and you're in one of the most high stressful positions in the world like may that maybe that's his excuse about it i don't know what it's going to be he could always do the and there's a long drive to left field and say casiano's two nothing ball game yeah so yeah he's a dick skip bayless you're canceled bro you know what if your deck prescott certainly doesn't help things that skip bayless is your biggest fan in the world you know like you always have to deal in the back of your mind with the fact that you did something along the way that made skip bayless really like you yes that's got to be soul crushing yes absolutely so yeah skip fuck you dude um okay before we get to tony hawk a quick word from our friends at bose QuietComfort Earbuds are the official earbuds of the NFL. NFL players like Patrick Mahomes, Joe Burrow, Aaron Rodgers, Julian Edelman, who I just saw wearing them on his Instagram, and Lamar Jackson wear new Bose QuietComfort Earbuds to get pumped up for the game with their favorite music.
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Okay, here he is, Tony Hawk. Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest, friend of the program, legend of the game.
It is Tony Hawk. he is back tony hawk pro skater one and two has uh come out it has been remastered we're very very excited let's start there tony what is the reception been because it's a tricky thing to do a nostalgic game that we all loved as kids to remaster it uh and try to you know have a new generation fall in

love with it what has been the reception so far uh so far so good uh i've had a ton of positive comments it's gotten great reviews but also it's more just the the fans like i see the tags out on social media and they're out of their mind excited a lot of them playing the demo so they had a taste of what they were getting into but now that it's the full release they are um they are very happy about it from what i can tell yeah so the original tony hawk pro skater games they were like among the highest rated video games i think just of all time across any sort of platform whatsoever they're like all ranked like 9.5 9.6 9.7 on website. So when you're sitting down trying to figure out how to remake that and how to like recapture that success, what did you decide? Like, okay, here's, here are the things that need to be updated and change.
And then this is where we're going to stay and, you know, stick with what we know that the people like. It was more about keeping that, that that motion those controls uh intact and that that was probably the biggest the most pressure that we had because we knew the hardcore fans were that was going to be their immediate measure of how good it is uh but luckily there are you know some of the original designers are still floating around one of the original best players who ended up actually working for Neversoft later on because he was so good at the game, he consulted on this.
And so we had the right team in place. And I feel like Vicarious Visions, who was the developer, they were so passionate about it.
They were handed this very precious cargo. They didn't want to it yeah that that guy's job by the way it sounds sick that's like every kid's dream growing up is like i got so good at this video game it just hired me to play it all the time yes good for that also the name never saw hps you can look him up okay hell yeah name never soft is just like i don't know why, and we talked about this last time, but

like something about California companies, California people, they just come up with

the coolest names, the coolest brands.

Like, why didn't we ever think of Neversoft?

Neversoft, it was.

Like, if you say you're hard.

The opposite of Hank.

Yeah, that's weird, but like Neversoft, that's cool.

Or no fear.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know if it would be as well received

now in the current climate but back then you know they were pretty renegade yeah always hard

that's like if you were to give an east coaster an opportunity to name a company we'd probably be

like hard hard all the time right and everybody like yo that name sucks right never saw it's show

right um what did you guys decide to do about the soundtrack did you keep the original soundtrack

uh quite a bit of it yeah and i think some of the more iconic tracks in the first two games

Thank you. what did you guys decide to do about the soundtrack? Did you keep the original soundtrack? Quite a bit of it, yeah.
And I think some of the more iconic tracks in the first two games are the ones people are going to expect, and we kept them in there. And then we updated it as well.
I had some influence on that, and they went out looking for more newer bands that represent the sound and the vibe of skating. And I think it's a really well-routed soundtrack for sure.
We're going to have Superman again? Of course. Nice.
Love it. So I saw that you were doing some stuff with our friend Nick Merx on Twitch and you've been kind of all over the place.
And it dawned on me, are Twitch streamers like the 2020 version of Skateboarders when you were coming up? Like the profession that people, a lot of parents are parents are probably like you can never make money doing this the rest of society kind of looks down on it and now you see like 2020 twitch streamers are having their heyday i'm sure you had that moment where it was satisfying being like yep told you i could make like a great living off of this have do you see any correlation with that like kind of the fringe of society that is now becoming mainstream sure i see a lot of parallels especially people following their passion and doing something they're good at and finally getting an audience for it um i mean twitch is obviously the perfect venue for that with skating i never imagined i'd be making money at it i never imagined i'd be doing into my adult life. So all of this has just been gravy and just an amazing surprise.

But I applaud those guys. Like if they,

if they can stay entertaining and producing content by playing video games,

then all the power to them.

Have you ever been on a live stream with Nick Merckx before?

He did it just now.

I have not.

Oh,

I thought you'd trust tomorrow.

Oh,

tomorrow.

Yeah. I've done one Twitch live stream and it was playing my game uh with finn wolfhard from uh stranger things oh nice okay so i mean you're gonna be pulling in some numbers tomorrow i imagine when you go live with nick merks i don't know how familiar you are in fact you know what i made it in this uh interview early so i can go practice some more yeah well we can get you trained because like the chat that's going to be coming at you is going to be pretty hard i don't know if you've read the comments on on uh twitch streams but like we can i yeah but but i'm going to be more focused on the game so i'm going to have to tune everything out and just focus also nick merc's fans are a little bit nicer than the people who watch our streams

and just basically fuck with us the whole time.

But you'll be fine.

You'll be a natural.

You got this.

I'm not worried about it.

I'm just going to be blissfully ignorant of all the chat.

Yes, yes.

So you just mentioned that you never thought you'd be skateboarding well into your adult life.

I saw the video for your birthday. You did the, what was it mctwisty was that what it was what'd you do a mctwisty oh uh yeah the milk challenge the got milk challenge uh i did a mctwist while holding a glass of milk yes so how many takes was that that was it that was one one and done no we'll cut this part but how many takes was it that was it I promise you I honestly, okay, here's the thing I had tried to do some basic tricks And I kept spilling a little bit While I was on my way down from the trick And I said, well, we got something Why don't I try and make twist And it'll just explode everywhere And that'll be like the great failure That honestly was my whole goal, was that there's no way that this will work.

Right.

So why not just make it crazy, and I'll break the chain of the Got Milk Challenge.

And when I tried it, it stayed in the glass.

That was it.

It was a total happy accident.

You accidentally succeeded at the trick.

Right.

Yeah.

And I spilled less on that than I did on the basic tricks.

How much of a narc did I just sound like when I called it a McTwisty?

Like, I feel so uncool knowing that it's a McTwist.

Well, everyone, I mean, there was a lot of cliches going around.

They said it was the milk twist.

So you're forgiven.

It's okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

I used to wear like birdhouse clothes and airwalk shoes and maybe like some DC shoes back when I was in middle school, but I didn't skateboard. Was I a poser? No.
It just means you appreciated skate fashion. Hell yeah.
Are you kidding me? You think all these kids wearing thrasher shirts and Supreme Skate? Well, yeah, but then when somebody calls you a poser, you feel like a poser. I consider them consumers.
Okay. I was a good consumer of yours back in the day but I always felt like yes I like you know what on behalf of Birdhouse I appreciate your consumption yeah people are like yo why are you wearing Birdhouse shirt you don't even skate I'd be like well I want to put some money in my good friend Tony Hawk's pocket so yeah thank you very much no problem um I I wanted to dive into something like it's almost a mental thing that i think that you are kind of unique with uh when you did the 900 right after you did that you know other people are able to do it they go out there and they kind of see that it's possible to be done and they can emulate it and i think that it's kind of crazy that like you were the first person to do it and then kind of the damn broke because people were able to realize that it was possible after you did it what was it for you that like made you think that something was possible that nobody had ever done before that like gave you the confidence to be like yeah like like roger banister's like i don't care that no one's ran a four minute mile before i'll do it and then you know everybody else does after the fact what was it about you that made you different that made you believe that you could do it well Well, I always loved exploring what's next and trying to take tricks to the next level or trying to combine certain tricks.
So that has always been my big goal in skating was to keep breaking boundaries. And so when I had learned 720s, I thought, well, the next stage obviously is 900.
How do I get that extra turn? And I just kept working at it little by little. I think it was just more in my mind, I had all the pieces.
I knew how to spin. I knew how to adjust my body.
I just need to figure out how to land it. And so I never thought, oh, this is just not possible at all.
It was just more like, I chipping away at it and it took its toll for sure i mean i broke a rib at one point trying it so you had a video that went viral uh it was like probably a week ago two weeks ago where you were helping sky brown a 12 year old uh girl do the mega ramp what's this what was the backstory behind that because she is way cooler than i'll ever be and it was like awesome to see that and everyone trying to encourage her but what was the backstory uh well she had been uh considering jumping on that ramp she she had actually been going it's my friend elliot's ramp she'd been going to his house and skating the landing part of that ramp and skating the big quarter pipes and getting comfortable with that kind of speed and that kind of size. And I saw her a few days before that.
And she said, I really want to jump the thing. Will you come help me through it? And I hadn't actually done it in a few years myself.
So I thought, yeah, let's learn it together. And both were were aiding each other on i finally did it a couple times and i told her uh it's not as scary as you think it is and she had already gone down a ramp that was bigger than that one but not jumped a gap and i just said if you make it down this ramp your momentum is going to take you over the gap so there's no worry about that and uh and then you saw what happened she did it it was an awesome video in fact i just saw this is this is all kind of on the dl but i just saw a video of her there yesterday she did a 360 over that thing what it's i mean it's such a cool like heartwarming video it's got to be i would imagine fulfilling to have uh like a 12 year old skater still look up to you and be like you know tony hawk you're a legend you know that doesn't happen a lot in sports when you when you talk about like uh got you know an nfl player retires when he's 60 people don't still think about them as like you know that way and that reverence where you have skaters who are still asking for your advice that's got to be pretty fulfilling fulfilling.
I'd imagine. Yeah.
I mean, that's, I think that that's the, the best I can do these days to just sort of pass on my experience and my knowledge to a newer generation. And I mean, make no mistakes.
Sky is fully capable of doing that all on her own. I just give her a little more confidence and incentive to do it because I, I can see what she is capable of.
And sometimes she just needs that little, that little push. If, if Tony Hawk was born in nine or in 2010, let's say that you're 10 years old right now.
Do you think that you would get as into skateboarding as you did when you were coming up? Because I know that, you know, the dynamics changed a little bit where now you have, I guess, more like, you know, there's, there've been more people in front of you, but it's less counterculture now than I think that it was back in the day, which I think the counterculture kind of was attractive for a lot of people that started skateboarding in the 80s and the 90s. So like, if you were born right now, do you think that you would be more inclined to be a skateboarder or do you think you'd be kind of less inclined? I think I would be inclined to be a skater.
Yeah. I think there's something that drew me to it that was not about just being rebellious or being an outcast.
It was more about the possibilities and the idea that you can do it at your own pace and on your own terms and not have to listen to a coach. I mean, that's really it for me.
So it was hard for me back then. You know, it was hard for me because I was ousted by my peers, my classmates, because I chose to skate.
And then when I got into skating, I was considered an outcast because I was so little and my style was so sort of robotic. And so for me, that was really hard to be not accepted in either realm, and especially in the sport that I end up loving.
So now I feel like there's much more acceptance. There's much more support no matter how you choose to skate.
And I think I would have enjoyed that very much. Did you ever have moment where someone who maybe maybe not picked on you but was like skating is stupid play excuse me play a real sport and you ran into them like 20 years later and you're like well that sucks I'm Tony Hawk it's funny because I think I've actually managed to cross through the other side where for sure that was the narrative about skating when I was young was that why are you still skating you know that's a kid's toy that's that's like doing yo-yos or hula hoops um that was the attitude and then when I was in my 20s I had some success in my late teens and then my 20s is when I was still trying to skate and then that's when it was like what how could you possibly still skate you were a grown man like what is wrong with you and now I've I've I've sort of push through to the other side when it was like, what, how could you possibly still skate? You were a grown man.
Like, what is wrong with you? And now I've, I've, I sort of pushed through to the other side where it's like, Hey, that's amazing. He's 50 and he can still ride a skateboard.
Yeah. You should, you know what you need to do? You need to find someone who is like a real jerk to you when you were growing up and then bring them to the mega ramp and make a viral video of you being like, you got this dude, you got this.
And they clearly won't have it. And then they break all their bones.
Hmm. I feel like there's a, there's a lot of liability.
No, no, no, no. They did it themselves.
You just give them the sky brown. Like it's super easy.
A 12 year old girl just did this. You got this man.
And it's like a 50 year old dude who was mean to you in high school. And he tries to, you know know shoot the gap and he just totally biffs and breaks every bone in his body you're like gotcha man like this was 40 years coming haha jokes on you yeah you never had I think uh I I take my success as the ultimate revenge so I'm okay okay fair fair you're probably a bigger man than us what about a uh a senior tour for skateboarders that'd be pretty fun wouldn't it like have a bunch of like older yeah up to the age of like 60 or 70 if i can get the double aarp to sponsor an event i'm i'm in that would be that would be actually awesome to watch if there's like 60 year old skateboarders going up and down the half pipe like catching sick air you just dominate you're like phil mickelson who just went into the senior tour of golf and is just like the first day that he was eligible he just dominated you should just make the division and just kick everyone's ass we'll see there's a lot of possibilities and there's a lot of people still skating in my age so uh you know let's see what let's see where it takes so you said that uh when you were like in your 20s and well established people like, man, I can't believe you're still skating.
Like when does a skateboarder peak? Well, it's tricky because it's so subjective and it's such an art form that it's hard to say. Like I know that I feel like I was skating.
I was taking a lot more risks and doing more flashy tricks, say, 15 years ago. But there are tricks that I'm learning now that I hadn't thought of back then.
So I feel like in some ways I'm better now. But I know that I could have done all the crazy spinning moves and bigger air stuff back then.
So it really depends on what your flavor of skating is. You're a crafty vet now.
Was there a moment, though, that you realized, like, the athleticism has kind of not escaped you, but a part of it? Like, ooh, can't do that exact trick anymore. Yeah, for sure.
Actually, it was a couple years ago. I did a video on my 50th birthday where I went through 50 tricks that I had created through the years.
And there were probably five to ten tricks in that segment that I know that's the last time I'm ever going to do them. Wow.
That's a pretty cool thing to do. The risk to reward is just not, it's not worth it.
It's actually great to know that that's the last time that you're going to do it instead of finding out that it's the last time you're going to do it afterwards and be like, well, I just broke my ankle. It's pretty cool.
I do have, I do have closure on a couple of tricks that I feel really good about. That's awesome.

Have you been mistaken for Tony Hawk anywhere recently?

All the time.

In fact, it happens so often.

And people think I make up those scenarios like on Twitter.

Those are just the ones that are entertaining enough to share.

But the other times it's just kind of, it's just sort of cliche like, Hey man, you look like Tony Hawk. Oh yeah.
Oh, that's cool. See ya.
It is really, I think our coworker Coley wrote a blog about how you, you've somehow reached the almost perfect level of fame where you're famous, but you also can go places and not be like completely hassled. And a lot of people will do the double take.
Like, is that Tony Hawk? Oh, okay. Yeah, I think it is, but I'm not going to bother him.
I would agree. Yes.
It's just enough fame that it'll get you in the door to places and maybe get you good reservations at restaurants, but not enough that you're followed by a paparazzi. Right.
Yeah. And you're rich, which is if you're going to be famous, you want to make sure to have that rich equation.
Otherwise, what's the point? Yeah, I think that those two things should go hand in hand, but don't necessarily. So I had two last questions, actually, about things we talked about last time.
Hez, did anyone mention the Boney Cock nickname to you after we talked about it last time you were on no but um that was something that i said in high school so uh i still do hear echoes of that i don't know if it stems from your show or not but okay um well this is me just re-bringing it up it's funny like in those days especially like elementary school and junior high is when i i got that nickname we just called it getting picked on you know now we know it as bullying and now there's all these resources for it but back then you said that suck it up yeah well so people please if you see tony hawk first verify that it's tony hawk and second don't call him bony cock i mean i you know what i whatever you want to hey if you recognize me i'm thankful In the chat in the chat tomorrow On his stream with Nick Merckx do not Say bony cock yes don't say Don't do it you yes I'm talking to you Delete it don't say it Okay that should clear it up yeah you'll have no problem In the chat tomorrow thank you yeah Yeah that's like the you know what the Barbra Streisand Effect yes. Yep, sure do.
Thanks for alerting people to that so that they will not participate in it. To not say bony cock.
Yeah, do not say bony cock. Say Barbra Streisand in the chat.
Let's see. Do you have another question? Oh, yeah, yeah.
So I have my last question. It was the beefy question.
Go to butcherbox.com slash PMT to receive quality meats delivered to your door now. So the other thing we talked about, uh, Jackass, we had Steve-O on a couple weeks ago.
He said that they started filming the new Jackass movie. The first week was incredible.
And then coronavirus happened. Uh, I think when you came on, you said that you didn't even know if they were going to do another movie.
Will you be in this one? Let's put it this way. I have planted that seed.
Yes. And I have seen some footage that made me laugh until I almost puked.
Oh yes. You got to get in it.
You got to get in it from everything. Steve-O said, this is going to be like, you know, I think there's a vibe of these guys are washed up.
So they're going to go even further to make sure that they tell everyone they're not washed up. So you have to be a part of that.
I saw three just still photos and they were next level. Oh, my God.
I'm so excited. Just being able to laugh at a still picture.
This movie is going to be amazing. Yes.
I did have one last question. So when when you were making the original Tony Hawk I remember that there was a scene that had to be cut out because it was like right after 9-11 that the game shipped and there was a scene in an airport with terrorists who got replaced by pickpockets in this new one are we going to get the original scene or is it still going to be the pickpockets that was not in the first two games okay um but but we will stay true to the series so so it'll be it'll be pickpockets like okay you know we're whatever was on the release that's where we're going got it pro tip if you uh do like another update of it you guys should add a karen character who comes and tries to steal everyone's skateboard and tells them like i won't wear a mask that's like i know my rights barbecue becky yeah shows up and she's like cops she's like hey get out of here yeah and then you can go on the game you can go and you can uh uh tweet the video and have her canceled and fired from her job at like fidelity oh man that would be way too real now no but that'd be cool i like our i like our fantasy world of crazy skate tricks and and uh grinding on high wire no yeah this should be the final boss you gotta you gotta have the man that you're fighting against a little bit right you know like security you had to like dodge the mall cops and stuff you should have like a karen that shows up with a cell phone in her hand and her husband who's like standing behind her.
He's looking a little embarrassed because his wife's causing a scene, but you know he won't say anything. And then like eventually he like steps in front of her and he's like, go.
You kids go home. We're going to tell your dad.
That's how you beat the game. Getting Karen canceled.
So foot plant to Karen. Yes.
Final challenge. Yes.
Yes. Just something to think about if you want to bring us on.
Ollie off the face. Yeah, right.
We got this. We'll plant all the Karens.
Yes. Yes.
That'd be awesome. Yes.
Okay. All right.
Well, Tony, thank you as always, man. Good to catch up with you.
Everyone go get it right now. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 and 2 remastered out.
Good luck on the Twitch chat, and thanks so much, man. Thanks, guys.
That interview with Tony Hawk was brought to you by our great friends at Body Armor. Body Armor is back.
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Yeah, I did get an email for a drug test.

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That's 3chi.com. Okay, let's get some segments.
First up, we have Firefest of the Week. Henry, Firefest of the Week.
Go. My Firefest, you know, Firefest was built off kind of like foam.
What's that hat? It's a Dodgers hat. It's got an arrow.
It's pretty cool. What's the arrow pointing at? I don't know.
It's really just a cool hat that I really have no explanation for, but it's cool.

People forget that your brother lives in California and named his dog Mookie.

I was actually born in L.A., so it's just going back to my roots.

That sucks.

Mookie.

Yeah, I was born in L.A.

All right, go.

Speaking of being in L.A., my Fyre Fest is not being somewhere cool where I can take cool

pictures for the gram of the orange sky or Colorado.

Very cool.

Very cool.

Yeah, like Colorado.

Super chill.

Yeah, forest fires.

So chill.

Like 90 degrees the other day and now it's snowing.

My Fyre Fest is just not being somewhere where the weather is just completely turning the

world upside down.

Yeah, it sucks.

Because my Instagram is lacking.

The apocalypse that you don't get the clout that you would get if you were living in a hell world. Like if I was wearing this hat in a picture and the sky was orange, like how many more likes would I get? Well, you should just filter it.
Yeah, or just go anywhere in New York City and be like, New York City's dying. That's kind of true.
That's an easy, a lot of retweets right there. Take a picture of an empty block.
Yeah, or a U-Haul truck. Or a rat.
This guy must be moving out of the city. Just find Ricky the Rat and be like, look at this piece of shit.
Yeah, you can- New York sucks. Start thinking about what you can use around you.
Be positive, Hank. Or, Hank, how about this? Let's be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Some of the pictures are so dope. Maybe you could start a fire in New York.
Because it's like Firefest was built on, you know, kind of like, I want to be there. Like, I can't miss that.

Like, that's kind of how I've been feeling this week, seeing all the things coming out of, like, California and San Francisco.

Such forest fire FOMO.

I got you.

You should get into arson.

I feel that for sure.

It is kind of cool that it looks like the San Francisco Giants colors.

Can I at least say that?

Yeah.

Like, if you're going to find a silver lining or a golden lining.

Say whatever you want.

It does look like it's the Giants year.

I don't want to bet against the Giants when the sky is that color. But, yeah,'s pretty creepy shit.
Very creepy. Alright, PFT, your Firefest.
My Firefest. Oh, also I had another one.
Oh, good, good. This was the first time I was walking my dog and I forgot a poop bag.
And it pooped and I felt such shame that I went back to my apartment, got a bag and picked it up. Yeah, you got it.
Good citizens. But you also have to...
Trust me, though. I thought it was like, fuck, I don't have a bag.
And I was like, all right, let's keep walking. And then the whole walk back, I was like, I should probably go back.
Okay, two things. One is tie the bag to the leash.
That's always a good way of never forgetting a poop bag. And two, did you do the fake lean over like you're picking up the poop? Because I always do that and then I'll go back.
back but you gotta fake like you're picking it up so people don't judge you i i did do a dramatic like realizing i didn't have the back i really oversold it like i put my head back yeah no one's listening because no one lives in new york city i think i think what you have to do is you do like when you get a foul called on you in the nba you just like look around like you're pointing at a scores table, just raise your hand and be like, this one's on me. Or you can find a bodega, go inside and just buy a Gatorade with, you know, get a plastic bag that comes with it.
Or newspaper. That's pretty much all they're there for at this point.
PFT, your Firefest. Yeah, my Firefest of the week is that we, as a podcast, are signed up for two different fantasy teams, and I somehow figured out a way where I was the only one that was the actual manager of it, so I'm going to have to be the one that forgets to set the lineups every week and deal with the consequences.
Wait, no, Jake? Jake, are you a co-manager? Yeah, you're out of the middle of both. Do you have full control? Yeah, Jake's going to do that one.
Yeah, I can help you guys out.

Give it to them both of them.

Jake, I might give you my personal fantasy teams.

Honestly.

On the spot question right now, do we start Will Fuller V?

He's our WRC right now.

This is terrible because no one cares about this.

Right, but we've got our three rookie receivers, Jerry, Judy, Henry,

Here's what I like.

I want to keep the rookies hungry on the bench.

Okay.

Will Fuller's playing tonight. It's the only time to be healthy all year.
Okay. So Will Fuller, recurring guests.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah.
All right, so do that. My Fyre Fest is cured.
So then my other Fyre Fest goes out. It's more of a thoughts and prayers for all the hardworking journalists up in New England.
They're not going to have the normal lunch buffet that they get during Patriots games this year, which was widely known as one of the top ten in the NFL. No craft services.
They're changing it, Hank, listen to this, to a normal bag lunch. Like during elementary school.
Gross. Which, by the way, are kind of better sometimes.
Because of COVID. Yeah.
You can't do like Golden Corral style serve yourself. Sneeze guard.
Ross Tucker fucking putting his hands in every fucking thing for his Twitter videos. Yeah.
Peter King just drinking. Just eating a whole tray of chili with his bare hands.
I'm actually going to say I actually like when Ross does the videos of the buffets, the different sweets, because I'm like, I'm curious. I always ask, like, what's the food like? So I do appreciate that.
It's a bag lunch this year for New England. Damn.
So you just walk up and get a bag? Cold turkey sandwich. Yeah, a bag that who knows how many people have touched.
I feel like the crass will hook them up still. A little side? There's going to be like a little dark alley? No, but it's not going to be like, you know, just fucking turkey and cheese slapped together.
It'll be a tasteful, nice meal. All right.
Fyre Fest is I know this is gonna I'm so stupid. I've read enough headlines now that I really do think Mitch Rubis is gonna be good this year.
Yeah. So you agree? 100%.
So then it's not even a Fyre Fest? No, I mean I have no bias whatsoever, so I'm definitely on your side. I think Mitch won't be as bad as, he's not as bad as people are making him out to be i'll take that there's no chance that he can be that bad i'll sign the dotted line right now also when you look at the the yahoo rankings it does say something that nick foals is ranked ahead of mitch trubisky despite the fact that he's not even starting yeah um i just he can't be that bad though he confidence back.
I just – you know, we always do this. You read enough headlines.
You read enough things where it's like, oh, he's changed this. He changed that.
He spent all summer, you know, trapped in a film room. He worked on his mechanics.
He's got the confidence. New offense.
Everything. I fully believe that Mitch Trubisky is going to win the Bears 10 games this year.
Well, he will be on the Bears. He will be the starting quarterback while the Bears win.
10 games. He is going to personally win 10 games.
I can't wait for Mitch Trubisky's screenshot season to come back. 10 games.
Those are always the best. I feel good.
And you know what? He has taken a beating the last couple years. Dude.
Some of it was worse. Yeah.
Some of it wasn't. But He's become a punchline.
And you know what? He's about to punch back. Yeah.
Big time. Big time.
All right, Billy, you're Firefest. First Firefest.
That you lost your shoelaces. No, but...
Oh. No, Billy's wearing work boots.
Your last name isn't Madison. Yes.
He's wearing work boots despite the fact that he does not work. So I was doing my fantasy draft on Wednesday night and, you know, i go through this every year where you have to create a new yahoo email or espn count and then like i have like nine emails and then like the forgot password thing it's just so annoying every year then my second firefest click the forgot password because that's honestly more complicated than just creating a new email wrong it sends you an email and then it's just it's just too frustrating so i just create a new email just use your email because it's not a password to that email who it's just do you know any of the passwords to any of your email you're just a man with no face okay it's just very complicated are you locked out of every account no there's a lot of passwords and stuff and then they update them it's just it's too complicated I don't, I don't, Billy.
Three passwords. I was going to say, Billy, I know I rag on you a little bit.
Don't take this the wrong way. But I don't think you're creating these super elaborate crypto passwords.
I'm not. It's probably like Whitey Dog 1.
No, seriously. Football 69.
QB 12. Yeah.
Exclamation point. I can't imagine you have all these passwords floating in your head like, I can't remember what I did.
No, because then you've got to put a symbol in. I miss football.
Okay, so it's I miss football and the I is a 1. Yeah.
Yes, but there's just so many. And then it's just every year it's like, what was the Yahoo password? Anyway, my other one is that my chicks are finally old enough to crow, and I got a rooster that wakes me up at 4.30 at a.m.
every morning. Okay.
So what do you do? Kill it? Snuff the rooster. You're going to snuff it? I might, depending on how hungry I am.
Do you get a finger to death like your toad? Is it big enough to eat? Just take it home to the pandas. Yeah.
You got to wait until it's big enough to eat. Yeah, I might eat it.
And then eat the fuck out of it. Make chicken wings.
Unless I use it to gamble. Okay.
That's true. Not a bad idea.
Maybe I'll keep it alive. Yes.
Why don't you eat one of the chicks that crows to set an example to the others? Well, there's only one. And let them watch you.
True. Anyway, those are my Fyre Fest.
Okay. Okay, that's a good Fyre Fest.
Good job, Billy. So wait, wait.
Really, your really your fire fest is now you're waking up earlier than you'd like to yes and rolling over and going back to sleep for another seven hours okay i see what's going on here and password and passwords in general i will give billy this that pat you know what people are always like afraid of having the no you know what the bill gates chip put into your brain or whatever. Put whatever you need to into my body

so that I never have to enter another password again.

It's the, are you a robot clicking pictures?

That's tough for you?

That trips you up?

That fucks me up too, Billy.

No, there's too many fucking things nowadays.

You have a tough time identifying fire hydrants?

The capture?

Sometimes the capture.

Which one is a...

And then there's the word...

Is it traffic light? Click the boxes that are... It's just too frustrating.
Do you know what a bus looks like? No, I would probably... I just rather create a new email.
Click the boxes to identify all the crosswalks. I can't do that.
They all have fucking crosswalks in them. Yeah, exactly.
Click them all. But then it says that you click too many.
The robots are defeating me too, Billy. I will say the best feeling in the world is when you sign into something and you're like, I'm not going to remember the password, and then it fills it in for you.
Yes, the face recognition, which it's like they probably have, like Apple has everything, but I don't care. That's what I'm saying.
Put the real ID chip into my body, and I'll just wave it in front of the computer as long as I don't have to remember a 10- character password again. Totally fine.
All right, let's finish up with a couple segments. We have a PR 101.
So on Tuesday after our podcast dropped, something else dropped. It was Odell Beckham, the news that he possibly likes to get shit on.
And I say- Not online, physically. Yeah, and I say that if that's his thing, good for him, but it sucks.
Here's what really sucks. It sounds like it's not true because this, this is the same outfit that has spread these rumors in the past.
They know how to get clicks mission accomplished. It worked.
Um, the worst part is that he's accused of all this stuff and he didn't even get to get shit on. Right.
So like he might as well just go get shit on right now. Well, I was saying if he really wanted to do it, he needs to incorporate it into his first touchdown dance.
He needs to have Jarvis Landry come over and fake poop a football on his chest. This was also the, like, I think the news, one of the news happened.
It was, like, late at night. It might have been early, early morning, late at night.
It was late at night. It was 2 a.m.
But it was, that's the type of story that is only, the jokes are only good for about 20 minutes. Then all the good ones get used up, and then everyone comes in with the, like, I'm a stand-up comedian, these are my shit puns.
Yeah. And it's brutal.
The number two wide receiver. Did you know that? Did you know that Odell makes two points? Oh, I can't.
Makes sense. He's on the Browns.
He's the number two. Because of using bad Odell jokes.
No, I just used that one joke repeatedly about him. Did you know that he's a number two receiver? You lost us two points? Yeah, we gained it all back.
I got it back. Perfect, though.
Two points, right? It's a poop. You had your trip joke and I had a Jerry Judy joke.
Okay, nice. He should also just dye the should dye the hair back blonde again, but then put brown streaks in it.
That would work as well. I woke up too late to make a Cleveland Steamer joke because my rooster woke me up early.
Another Fyre Fest. Why didn't you make the joke? Say that again.
Cleveland Steamer. The beginning.
So I woke up too late because I went back to bed after my rooster woke me up. What I said was exactly what happens every morning.
He wakes up, rolls over, and falls back asleep for seven hours. So you're blaming your roosters for waking up too early and too late.
That's so funny. You know what? It's just a shitty situation.
Oh, nice, Billy. That's good.
Nice. You also used that exact same joke on Twitter.
I did. When you woke up.
That's okay. All right.
So our last, we have Bigger Than Ben, part three, documentary review. I am hoping at this point, because I don't know how, has anyone, have they announced how many episodes there are? There have to be at least three more because we've just scratched the surface of how Big Ben deals with rehabbing during the time of covid right and i i'm hoping that it just never ends i'm hoping this is actually a new like it's almost a you know when shia labouf did the thing where like people got to spit on him or whatever watch him for 48 hours remember he did that like uh living art thing the just do it you can do it thing yeah no yeah he did something shia yeah shia yeah he did like uh stood outside a museum right and people could spit on him or something that's just yeah i think too many people showed up and then he had to cancel it right so big ben is doing the first ever documentary that never ends so just keep going forever there's unlimited episodes they will not destroy us it's a vlog yeah right big ben is inventing vlogging as we speak it would be incredible if he just like changed the art of documentary it's like it's actually just never ever going to end i hope that's the case because i'm enjoying it so much uh the highlights from this episode though big ben doing uh the solo cam in bed uh it was literally just he basically said and I don't, Big Ben hasn't been online a lot.
He had that woman running his account. He basically was like, you guys use this picture forever to make fun of me.
And the what she sees and all the memes. He just gave that to us.
It's definitely the same angle that you use if you're on the other end of an interesting call with a lady. It's just, I'm so happy that he did that.
I think, I want to say that Big Ben is just ignorant to the internet, but part of me thinks like, Big Ben, he's got our back. He's giving us something to make fun of him for.
Big Ben is addicted to porn. He said that himself.
He knows all the shadiest parts of it. He probably just goes to typesandporn.com.

Yeah, I was going to say, that doesn't mean he's on the internet. That definitely doesn't mean he's on the internet.
He definitely has DVDs. When he grew out that big beard, he was like, sweet, now I can go down to the corner store, pick up some penthouses like I used to back in the day.
Right. No one will recognize me.
Right. He's like the same guy he's been buying Slurpees from for 14 years.
A lot of beard jokes. We also had my favorite line was his doctor saying that he almost crushed my hand when he got out of the cast.
That was another one of those lines. Big Ben is so strong.
Definitely written down a tree. Definitely written by Ben.
Yes. He's just making sure that Ben gets his narrative out there.
I liked how when Roethlisberger was kind of playing doctor when he was talking to a surgeon, was like what is going to be harder to throw doc a uh a hard ball or a long ball and the doctor was like well don't you have you have to you have to throw a long ball hard right and Ben was like no but like there's some throws that are harder than others and it eventually came out that Ben was saying like a difficult throw to make like an nfl throw is

ron jaworski would say like like a 14 yard out right as opposed to like throwing the ball 65

yards which would also be a hard throw right but also a long throw but maybe not as difficult right

right so that was that was funny watching ben try to like get his doctor to also be his quarterback

coach yeah mental gymnastics and then he we got to see ben throw his first pass oh he said it was

like riding a bike he said it's it's almost like he's done it his whole life and we're like well

Thank you. also be his quarterback coach yeah mental gymnastics and then he we got to see ben throw his first pass oh he said it was like riding a bike he said it's it's almost like he's done it his whole life and we're like well you have when he saw that makes sense when he saw an nfl football for the first time it reminded me of those videos of a dog seeing their owner that was deployed overseas uh-huh coming home he like saw it he just like ran across the room just freaking out so excited to see wagging his little tail and he just yeah i i think ben when he got and he just ran across the room.
Just freaking out. So excited to see it.
Wagging his little tail. And he just, yeah, I think Ben, when he got injured, he just forgot that he had thrown a football before because when he said that, when he's like, yeah, it felt like I'd done this a million times.
I was like, Ben, I think you have. Well, he's never gone more than probably a week in his life without throwing a football.
I would say more than like two days. Probably a matter of hours.
Yeah. I just thought it was interesting, this episode, but also in the ones before a little bit, he discusses his body like he's a first-time homeowner on a Fixer Upper show.
He's like, then we had to take the sink out. We did not realize what an ordeal that would be.
I guess the previous owners had done some weird stuff to it like that's how he's talking about his arm he's like yeah so we went in there and they had to reattach three or four of the tendons that was going to take a longer process to fix than we had thought before and then his wife goes we did not know what we were signing up it's just a it's a documentary about a house that happens to be ben roethlisberger's body right Right. And his wife is very prominently in the documentary.
There was a lot of beard talk. A lot of Big Ben is a family man.
It's just great. It's great.
It's great to see. Gives 110%.
I did like the subtle irony when she was like, if Ben has his mind to it, he won't hear no. It's like, oh, oh.
There's no turning back. Okay, yeah.
All right. Okay, yeah, so Ben, good job.
I'm just so happy that I get to watch him on Sunday. I'm so happy I get to watch him on Sunday.
It really hasn't set into me. I feel like they're the team.
They're like the Raiders. They're the team.
Everyone's a dark horse. I mean, I think the Steelers have.
Monday Night Football.

What?

Monday Night Football.

Monday Night Football.

Monday Night Football.

You guys know, I said it a million times last year, how much I love that defense.

So now if Ben is just like average, they're going to be really fucking good.

Ben is going to be so excited, though.

Yes.

Yeah.

Count on the first three passes.

He's going to go about 10 yards too far. He's also going to quiet the crowd that doesn't exist.

Yeah.

Just out of habit. Yeah.
Just like, whoops. He'll also do like the, the terrible towel.
Like he'll acknowledge the crowd. He'll quiet them and then he'll score a touchdown.
He'll probably throw the football into the crowd. Yes.
Or like walk up to a completely empty front row and try to hand it to a girl. That's not there.
I need it. So bigger than Ben part three.
Hopefully again, there's like 20 million parts. It just never ends.

All right, that's our show, everyone.

Have fun this weekend.

We will see you on Sunday or Monday morning.

We'll have our NFL recap.

We're going to do every game.

We'll have fastest two minutes.

We'll have Dion on for 15, 20 minutes.

It's going to be great.

Football's fucking back. Football.

Football is back.

Hank, best of luck on Friday night

against the Raptors.

Soggy Sorrows on Sunday? Yes.

We will be live, though, on Part of My Take

Twitch. Okay, it's Part of My Take Twitch.

Tune in. Alright, we'll see everyone

on Monday. Have a great weekend.
Love you guys.

Billy, do you have anything for us? Yes. Fact.

Wales, closest

land. Wait, you did this one.

You did this one. I told this one on the Twitch stream.

Oh my god. You can't reuse a fun fact.

The people, they don't.

Thank you. Wales closest land living relative I told this one on the Twitch stream you can't reuse a fun fact

the fact is no longer fun

no it's not

you guys heard it

I'll do a twofer

I'll do a twofer

we do this podcast for each other

in this room

I'm doing a twofer

Wales closest land relative

are pigs and hippopotamuses

my second fact that I'm going to bring out

I'm going a twofer. Whale's closest land relative are pigs and hippopotamuses.

My second fact that I'm going to bring out...

Which one's closer?

Sounds like you updated the fun fact because you found out

that it was...

Anyway, second fun fact.

Daddy lawn legs

are actually more...

the most poisonous spider. They just don't have enough venom to kill a human.
true it is check it out it's not true it's an old wives tale it's urban legend daddy long legs poisonous daddy long legs you're now reading Snapple facts you're reading you're reading facts you asked me for a two I gave you a two I gave you a two I gave you a two I gave you a two you're reading facts from popsicles what asked me for a two-foot I gave you a two-foot No, we asked you for a new fact You're reading facts from popsicles What'd you find, P.F.T.? Okay, have you heard this one? This comes from the University of California Riverside Spider Research Department Seems pretty legit Have you heard this one? Daddy long legs are one of the most poisonous spiders But their fangs are too short to bite humans This tale has been lurking around for years I've heard it repeatedly in the United States And even even had a school teacher misinforming her class at a museum in Brisbane, Australia. This is incorrect.
But to clarify it, several points need to be explained first. So yeah, it seems like it's very incorrect.
It's an old wives tale. Okay.
They put me on the spot for two first. They do not have poison and by powers of logic cannot be poisonous from dinner.

Oh.

21.

We can still guess.

Oh.

35.

We can still guess.

63.

42.

42.

42.

21.

6.

9.

It's 9.

See you next time. 21, 6 9 It's 9

6 plus 3

Nice, alright, see everyone Monday