George Kittle, The Big Show, Grit Week 2020 Livestream & Spongebob Table Read

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we've got George Kittle, our good friend, best tight end in the entire NFL. Greg Kittle.
Where did he finish? We'll have to look that up before we interview him.

Speaker 1 We're taping this right now in the morning. We've done the Grit Week 24-hour stream.
We're actually in the middle of the stream right now.

Speaker 1 Shout out to everyone who's watching the stream uh we have those two guests which are great we're gonna do a spongebob episode reading we haven't slept in like 28 hours right now um pft is probably a little drunk i'm on dog 22 got two more to go beer 22 right now yep so uh we have all that we have a recap of grit week we have a fire fest SpongeBob reading with our good friend Nick.

Speaker 1 Not KB, Nick. They get confused for each other often.

Speaker 1 And before we get to all of that, before we get to our Fry A show.

Speaker 1 So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country fried turkey.

Speaker 6 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 6 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 let's go.

Speaker 2 Down in the streets, there is violence,

Speaker 2 and there's lots of work to be done. But I know they forgot to work it, no place to hang out the washing.

Speaker 2 And you can't blame it, all I'm the son. But I let them know we're gonna run

Speaker 2 to electric momentum.

Speaker 2 And then we'll take it higher, higher.

Speaker 2 We're gonna run

Speaker 2 to electric mother. Let's do one and rap.
We'll take it higher, higher, higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 free, $10 to ASPCA.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday,

Speaker 1 July 31st, and we are coming to you live after not having slept for 28 nine-ish hours. And Grit Week 2020, 24-hour live stream has been completed.
So our brains are absolute garbage.

Speaker 2 Yeah, my entire head feels like a bowl of oatmeal right now. My stomach feels like a drum and bass concert is going on.
I don't feel great, but that's what Grit Week is about. It's about persevering.

Speaker 2 We're here. We're somewhat lucid.
No. And sports are back.

Speaker 1 Sports are back. So, first, a shout out to everyone that tuned in to Grit Week 2020.
We raised like, I think the final number is going to be around $20,000 for the kids.

Speaker 1 It was,

Speaker 1 it basically was,

Speaker 1 we created

Speaker 1 like a grade school sleepover where we never went to sleep. We played games, we played video games.

Speaker 1 PFT drank 24 beers. Billy ran a marathon in like eight hours.

Speaker 2 Out of nowhere. He just decided he would just take care of all of it right off the top.

Speaker 1 I ate 24 hot dogs. We had fun.
We laughed. We fucked around.

Speaker 1 We got Tim Allen trending.

Speaker 1 Just randomly, we decided at 5 a.m. Who's the weirdest, randomest celebrity that we could get trending so everyone will wake up and think that person died? We did that with Tim Allen.

Speaker 1 He actually just tweeted being like, what do you think it's like to wake up and think that everyone thinks you're dead?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, he actually thought he was dead when he woke up this morning.

Speaker 1 So shout out Tim Allen. Way to get trending, bro.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it was awesome. The whole thing was awesome.
We have not slept. It was a great time.
I actually wrote down a couple notes, some highlights.

Speaker 2 Okay, here's one highlight. When Big Cap blew a four-star lead in Mario Party and had to run a mile, saving me from running my second mile.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Did you have that one, too? No, I didn't have that one. That one sucked.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had this. I wrote this down.
The new Madden sucks.

Speaker 1 This is going to be the oldest I've ever sounded, but the movements.

Speaker 1 My eyes cannot understand the movements. They are all herky-jerky.
I don't understand how the players move in that game. It's too hard to play.

Speaker 2 It's because the kids grow up playing those games that have higher frame rates. We grew up playing real football games like Madden 95 when the quarterbacks didn't have names.

Speaker 1 They were not on the field.

Speaker 2 There were four plays that you could run, and they all sucked. That's when football was football.
Our eyes aren't used to this stuff. It's just, I feel like I'm having a seizure when I'm playing.

Speaker 1 No, I really do feel super old saying it, but when we played it, I could not understand why is everyone moving so like this.

Speaker 1 These games have gotten too realistic.

Speaker 1 Give me some more glitches. Give me some weird shit.
Give me it so it's hard to

Speaker 1 run through someone or juke someone. It's just, I don't know.
Not for me.

Speaker 1 Hank

Speaker 1 thought the words superlatives was super relatives.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.
Sure did. I'm a phonetic reader.

Speaker 8 I'm a phonetic reader.

Speaker 2 Phonetic.

Speaker 1 He totally thought that.

Speaker 1 Billy. Billy's highlight was both running a marathon in the first eight hours, but he also cooked two of the worst meals I've ever seen cooked, back-to-back, so dinner and breakfast, just incredible.

Speaker 1 I actually, so bad that I want to create a new video series where Billy is just the Washington generals of food shows, and we just put him up against everyone in the world and watch him lose.

Speaker 1 So it's that funny.

Speaker 2 I think that if you put Billy up against a really good cook, they would probably lose because they would be so psyched out by Billy just pouring beer into whatever recipe he has, putting eggs and beans in a blender with what else was in there?

Speaker 2 Hot dogs?

Speaker 7 Hot dogs.

Speaker 2 An entire package of hot dog seasoning.

Speaker 8 Even hours later, watching people walk into the office, their immediate face just gave the stank face of like, what is going on in this office? Yes. And it was something that was cooked.

Speaker 8 four hours ago on the opposite side of the building.

Speaker 1 It looked like

Speaker 2 flavored ice cream. It was bad.
It looked like a cross between that and cat vomit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Billy has three rules as a cook. Rule number one is they're all ingredients.
That's his saying.

Speaker 1 When you say, Billy, what the fuck are you doing right now that smells and looks terrible? He says, they're all ingredients, dude.

Speaker 1 Number two is let the meat talk. So that means just don't put any seasoning on any meat.
Just let it talk. And number three is every meal cooked needs beer so that Billy can drink it.

Speaker 9 This is these things are true.

Speaker 9 You know, really, I was sort of in a danger zone in my brain when I was cooking because I just ran a marathon and I also had no sleep. So it wasn't my best stuff.

Speaker 9 I was sort of just like, like the one thing was make substance.

Speaker 2 It was memorable though.

Speaker 1 That's all that we're looking for out of this.

Speaker 2 And it was super memorable. And then to cap it off, Billy has a flare for the dramatic.
30 seconds before the end of the stream, Billy just straight up breaks the couch. Broke the couch.

Speaker 2 He starts doing curls with the couch because he's so pumped. And I think two legs of the couch broke off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I honestly think this is the beat. I mean, we've talked about the

Speaker 1 beginning of the comeback for Billy. Your performance on the grit live stream was A.

Speaker 1 A plus plus. I appreciate that.
Marathon,

Speaker 1 top chef, A.

Speaker 1 What else do we have? Memories or

Speaker 8 the cat was a witch at like five in the morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Jake was opening cards, pack of cards, every single hour, a revellion task. And

Speaker 1 one hour, I just, he was like,

Speaker 1 any guesses for who the first card is? And I just said, Buster Posey, and it was Buster Posey. That was wild.
I was a witch for a while. I thought

Speaker 2 I thought you were Chris Angel at that point. I thought you were a street magician.
Then the six.

Speaker 1 Liam whispered to Rudy, what number? I said, Liam, think of a number and whisper it to someone, and I got that right. And I was like, at this very moment in time, I am a witch on earth.

Speaker 1 I thought you were too for a while.

Speaker 2 It was cool, and then it fell apart. But yeah, we were getting ready to throw you into a bathtub and see if you sank.

Speaker 2 I feel like, I'll be honest, I am drunk, I'm hungover all at the same time. I don't know that I've ever been in that mental state before.
I'm feeling like this is a three-day come-down from me.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is going to be like Monday morning.
I'll start to kind of edge myself out of this.

Speaker 8 It's going to be like the best dream ever, though, waking up and being delirious.

Speaker 1 No. Real NBA action on this.

Speaker 2 I disagree, though, because I think I'm so delirious that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep. I think I'm too tired.
I think I stayed up past it.

Speaker 8 Oh, I'm out.

Speaker 1 I don't think I can nap either.

Speaker 2 I don't know what my plan's going to be. I'm just too excited right now.
I'm too excited that I'm done with it and that I can nap to actually sit down and fall asleep.

Speaker 2 I probably drank out the snow.

Speaker 1 Showdown's going to do it. But Hank brings up a good point.
There's going to be basketball. So let's predict what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 The Pelicans and the

Speaker 1 Pelicans. Celtics Blazers.

Speaker 1 Who are are they playing? Jazz. The Pelicans and the Jazz.
The Jazz and the Clippers and the Lakers.

Speaker 9 Is Zion healthy?

Speaker 2 Yes, he is. Is he quarantined? They rushed him through the quarantine, so he's back.
How crazy is it to think back to March that Rudy Gobert testing positive probably led to this bubble being created?

Speaker 2 We probably would never have bubble life.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 2 Lou Williams would never have gotten caught eating wings at a strip club in Atlanta if it wasn't for Rudy Gobert. The butterfly effect from that one test, the ripples would be felt for centuries.

Speaker 1 I think the Pelicans are going to win, and I think the Clippers are going to win.

Speaker 1 Block it up. Noted.

Speaker 8 Does the season count?

Speaker 2 Yes. Not if LeBron wins.
Correct.

Speaker 1 Good answer. Great answer.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, we'll have basketball this weekend. That's going to be fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 And then hockey later this weekend, too, right?

Speaker 1 Sunday? Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 No, I think the Blackhawks play on Saturday, maybe.

Speaker 7 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Joe Kelly.

Speaker 1 That guy, that's funny. That's a funny face.

Speaker 2 Great face. It was Philip Rivers, like the way that he was doing.
He was just sticking his tongue out. Yeah.
Maybe a little bit more profanity.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then

Speaker 2 I got introduced to the Joe Kelly Fight Club. And I went back and watched this tape of him fighting against the Yankees from a couple years ago.
I was just let the boys fight.

Speaker 2 And then Rob Manford has the balls to suspend Joe Kelly for looking awesome and making dumb faces. And the Astros haven't been suspended at all.

Speaker 1 And I saw some people trying to make the argument like it's egregious that Joe Kelly, like, he was too close to throwing someone's head. Like, listen, no one should get beaned in the head.

Speaker 1 But if there were someone to get bean in the head, it'd be the Astros.

Speaker 8 And the dude also, like, during quarantine, he had a net set up in his yard and he missed the net completely and hit his house.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 8 Like, he has proven

Speaker 8 on the record that he had control issues only two months ago.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that is such a litmus test of do you take sports too seriously? If you see Joe Kelly do the pouty face of the Astros and your initial reaction is, oh my God, God, how could he?

Speaker 1 No, your reaction should be, that's fucking hilarious.

Speaker 2 That is actually, social distancing-wise, an appropriate way to fight just by throwing baseballs at each other. Right.
You don't want to get too close and start punching someone might cough on you.

Speaker 1 Again, don't throw baseballs at people's heads, but the Astros also have to kind of expect that bad things are going to probably happen to them for a little bit of time.

Speaker 2 So was this Rod Manford saying, like, if anybody hits Astros, just so you know, I'm going to suspend you eight games?

Speaker 1 I think it was, I think it was more the headhunting, which I get. I get that.

Speaker 1 I get that portion portion's of a little high yes i get that portion of that like if you're going to bean someone you know do it in the in the uh as greeny would say the took us the took us the took us region the hip um

Speaker 1 so yeah that happened oh patrick mahomes is going to be pissed he was number four on the top 100 list and then he put and then he tweeted out a little uh like noted oh got it got it so who's going to be ahead of him aaron donald i don't know who is ahead of him let's predict who's ahead of patrick mahomes

Speaker 1 We have George Kittle number seven on the show in a minute. Yep.

Speaker 2 Oh, we got Danny Vitale.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 is this the list?

Speaker 1 Where are we at?

Speaker 2 Man, I'm tired.

Speaker 2 I have no idea where I am.

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson, number one. Russell Wilson, number two.
Aaron Donald, number three. Patrick Mahomes, number four.
I'm going to also

Speaker 1 agree with Patrick Mahomes here. Yeah.
Come on.

Speaker 2 I think Aaron Donald is the guy that you put ahead of Patrick Mahomes to remind everybody that you watch football, that you watch the tape.

Speaker 1 Expect, well, Aaron Donald's really the best player.

Speaker 2 Yeah, which he's awesome. Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 I don't know. And then Russell Wilson, also a very good player.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 come on. Patrick Mahomes is coming on.
Like, what more does the guy need to do?

Speaker 2 Nothing. He's our number one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We're releasing the part of my take one list.

Speaker 2 Commence debating right now. Here's the entire list: Patrick fucking Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes, number one.

Speaker 9 Oh, number two, Chad Kelly.

Speaker 1 Chad Kelly, number two, that's

Speaker 1 you know, I'll accept that.

Speaker 1 Chad Kelly, number two.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 2 I think that's probably bad. Oh, uh, Kevin Durant, Trouble in Paradise, he got into a Twitter beef with God today.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah,

Speaker 2 he added God. That's how you know that you're serious.
What'd he say? Pulling up the tweet right now. He said,

Speaker 2 Yo, at God, we good? Question mark.

Speaker 2 So, calling out God.

Speaker 2 This league.

Speaker 2 This universe.

Speaker 9 New Last Chance U?

Speaker 2 Alright, let's get to Fire Fest of the week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, let me get the ad.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Last chance you was...

Speaker 1 No, it was fine.

Speaker 8 Just hasn't been good in a few seasons.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the coach is like a good person this time, right?

Speaker 1 Who knows?

Speaker 8 Season one of Last Chance You, though, is still worth a rewatch.

Speaker 2 That shit was fire.

Speaker 1 Dude, I am

Speaker 1 so fucked in the head right now.

Speaker 1 My eyes feel swollen. You ever get that? Where your eyes feel?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, my whole body, like, my organs are swollen.

Speaker 1 Can I get, I want to get popped like a sausage. I want someone to poke me

Speaker 2 with a fork. A knife and just have some of your juices.

Speaker 1 Just give me a little pop, pop.

Speaker 2 I don't need that. I need to be swaddled.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go.

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Speaker 1 Fire Fest of the Week, Hank.

Speaker 8 My Fire Fest of the Week

Speaker 1 is

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 I.

Speaker 2 My Fire Fest of the Week is that Billy didn't do a Fire Fest, and I can tell already.

Speaker 1 Same cat.

Speaker 10 It's disgusting.

Speaker 9 Fire Fest is that

Speaker 1 Billy, you're not on Firefest for you for getting your Fire Fest.

Speaker 2 No, no, it's on Big Cat now.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest of the Week is that we got Tim Allen trending, and I had never seen the tweet that he had before that said, if we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Speaker 2 Checkmate,

Speaker 1 that's some knowledge I should have had before. Like,

Speaker 2 it's a very fine line between Tim Allen and Chris Berman.

Speaker 1 Chris Berman noises, but like that's a whoa.

Speaker 1 Like we evolved from what?

Speaker 2 He's like, he's Chris Berman with a trust. He's still there.

Speaker 8 All right, Billy.

Speaker 9 I might have fucked up my foot running a marathon on one day notice.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 And I'm brain dead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're... Well, that's not new.

Speaker 9 I'm a parent to myself. I'm brain dead.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, you've realized it yourself?

Speaker 9 No, I'm just, I feel stupid right now.

Speaker 1 Also, you forgot to tell your mom that you weren't coming home last night. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Oh, yeah, that's a big one.

Speaker 1 That's Jimbo act. That's a huge one, dude.

Speaker 7 You should have done that.

Speaker 9 Yeah, now she was like,

Speaker 9 where are you this morning?

Speaker 1 And I was like, I'm at the office. How do you miss telling her that?

Speaker 9 I don't know. I just.

Speaker 8 Said you're working late, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then, anyway,

Speaker 9 dude, I.

Speaker 1 I can't do this right now. Yeah.
No, I can't. No, no, no.
We're pretty much done. If Hank has a fire fest, we're pretty much done.

Speaker 8 My firefest is that my dog just bites everything that

Speaker 8 exists in my apartment, and I don't really know how to stop him.

Speaker 2 Put peanut butter on stuff.

Speaker 1 Make it a fighting dog. Peanut butter.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just turn into it.

Speaker 2 Killer dachshund.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nips?

Speaker 1 It's got sharp teeth. Yeah, it's a puppy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know what I used to do with Leroy?

Speaker 8 Skin.

Speaker 2 I used to just pretend like

Speaker 2 every time he put his teeth on me, pillows, I'd just be like, ow, like I'd pretend

Speaker 1 to yelp like another dog.

Speaker 2 And then they feel bad. Yeah.
You gotta shame your dog. Also, if they nip you, you nip them back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bite them back. That's actually true.
If you bite your dog, just a little nip. And then just a little nip.

Speaker 2 Piss on him.

Speaker 1 Don't do that. But nip him.
Just give him a little nip.

Speaker 9 And if they do those territorial small peas where there's not like a spray, it's like those little like deposits, pee on top of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yes.
So they know.

Speaker 1 Peep pile yeah so they know oh shit i can't mark my table in order to fully train your dog you're gonna need at least 10 to 12 pee piles scattered around your apartment that's just science dude you have to do tug of war with him with your teeth and beat them right or they won't respect you right right right right right right right okay all right um let's get to george kittle then we got big show then we have spongebob square pants table read that we did at like seven in the morning i don't even know i was blacking in and out out of it.

Speaker 1 That was so fucking funny. So make sure you watch that or listen to that.
Watch that. Listen to that.
And then Monday, we have C.J. McCollum.
CJ McCollum, great recurring guest. Awesome interview.

Speaker 2 When did we do that? That was yesterday at two?

Speaker 1 Yeah, four hours ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was yesterday. No idea where I went.
Four hours ago. What was Big Show? What time? Big show was 11 yesterday.
Over 26 hours. Yeah.
Why am I here?

Speaker 2 That sucks.

Speaker 9 Dude, I woke up at 6 a.m.

Speaker 1 yesterday. But seriously, thank you everyone for tuning into Grit Week 2020.
That was so much fun.

Speaker 1 We had a sleepover with no sleep.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 No, this is the, we're going to the ad.

Speaker 2 Again, I have no idea where I am.

Speaker 1 Where are we? I'm on autopilot.

Speaker 2 I'm strictly on autopilot right now.

Speaker 8 Let's do the ad first and then we're going to go.

Speaker 1 We still got the show left. We still love you.

Speaker 1 We do still love you, though. Before we get to our interview with our good friend George Kittle.
What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, here he is, George Kittle.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on.

Speaker 1 Did you just clap? Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's a pro. Remember, he auditioned for my job.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're literally walked from the 24-hour grit stream into this interview.

Speaker 1 We couldn't think of a better guest to have on to finish off Grit Week than our good friend Greg Kittle.

Speaker 1 Greg,

Speaker 1 it's great to see you, man.

Speaker 11 Hey, it's great to see you guys.

Speaker 11 Your 24-hour streamer is pretty incredible.

Speaker 1 Thank you. That was a wild ride.
Yeah, it was. What was your favorite part?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 11 You run out of buns was kind of brutal, big cat, eating those hot dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, we just were like,

Speaker 1 at one point, I looked down on the ground, and there were just buns everywhere. Because we just,

Speaker 1 it was basically just a sleepover, and we just started throwing shit.

Speaker 2 The room became a trash can.

Speaker 1 Right. So, that, and then that just kind of defeated my buns.
But, uh,

Speaker 7 yeah, it was.

Speaker 11 You blew a four-star lead. I just saw that on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, Mario Party, dude.
You don't got to bring that up. That's fucked up.

Speaker 11 You want to talk about it?

Speaker 1 It was crazy. Honestly, I don't think if you played that game a hundred times,

Speaker 1 the way the things went down, it wasn't right. It wasn't fair.
And then I had to run another mile with 17 hot dogs in my belly. I felt bad.

Speaker 2 I felt bad watching the big cat run, but I wasn't going to stop it.

Speaker 1 No, it sucked, man. You know what also sucked?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Losing the Super Bowl. I was going to say, are you over it?

Speaker 1 Ah!

Speaker 1 I think it's over. That's a good segue.
That was a good segue, right? That was good.

Speaker 11 Yeah, about the same level of competition, you know, the same, you know. So, yeah, I get it.
Yeah, I think it's just always going to suck, but I'm good with it at this point.

Speaker 1 Listen, as I think I can relate, I've had loss like that, four-star leading Mario Party, no big deal. But honest question,

Speaker 1 we actually interviewed you that week because you're such a good friend. You came over with your entire entourage of

Speaker 1 like 17 cops that were that were on detail with you. I think they just basically were like, let's just just make sure George doesn't start shotgunning beers at any point this week.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it does suck. We were rooting for you.

Speaker 1 I appreciate it. I do.
I think it is a stupid question to be like, how long does it take to get over? But I think it is also an interesting question.

Speaker 1 Like, how,

Speaker 1 you know, at what point were you not thinking about it all the time? Or it wasn't like, you know, because everyone who's played any sport, they replay the game immediately after.

Speaker 1 And I would imagine it's magnified to that ultra level when it's the Super Bowl oh it really sucks like that first month and a half two months after that

Speaker 11 that was not fun well I mean think about like you train the whole offseason and then it's five months of football and then like you lose the last game you're like well that just sucks

Speaker 11 it's like a year of your life gone but I mean like definitely look back you appreciate it I mean we won 15 games which was pretty sick Definitely had a fun time doing it too.

Speaker 11 But no, then after that, you just kind of look forward to the new season. And, you know, now I'm just ready to play football if they let us play.

Speaker 11 And I'm excited to finally, you know, get back on the field.

Speaker 2 Did Roger Goodell ever issue you a formal apology for that pass interference call, that bogus pass interference call in the second quarter?

Speaker 11 No, unfortunately, I did not get that. Unless it's in my other email, but I didn't get that.

Speaker 2 You know, he was just making sure that the refs called that to stick it to Sean Payton because Kyle Rudolph got away with that same exact stiff arm that you had.

Speaker 2 And so he just wanted to piss Sean off a little bit more. So he was like, hey, call that same thing on Greg.

Speaker 1 you guys remember everything that's crazy i actually this just popped in my brain um was it i think it was you when they had that clip of kyle on the sidelines i think it was maybe the nfc championship game where he went up to the ref and he's like yo they're they're gonna they're gonna hold george here yeah they can't they can't guard him here watch for it and then you got the flag do you when you saw that clip were you like holy shit that's pretty cool that he's doing that no he said that like when he installed the play on thursday for a third down play, he goes, Look, when they get in this form, like when we're in this formation and this guy covers you, he always holds.

Speaker 11 So just push him inside and break out. He's going to hold you.
And I was like, all right, sounds good.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 it happens. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 11 Like I said, the dude's a wizard. It's pretty fun to play for him.

Speaker 1 That's insane.

Speaker 2 What a guy. You guys drafted another blocking tight end this year.
Are you guys just going to smash people?

Speaker 11 I'm excited. Charlie's a good dude.
We were actually, we were running routes together and he was like, hey, this passing stuff's kind of boring.

Speaker 11 When are we going to start talking about run game and I was like

Speaker 2 You're my guy like I needed that out of you Yeah, we're in a lot outside zone You're gonna throw the ball like nine times a game and it's gonna be awesome But for some reason the way that you guys play offense the way that you guys run the ball it almost makes it seem like it's a passing attack because it's dynamic and like it bounces outside and it's crazy It's like

Speaker 2 the plays that they draw up are fun the blocking schemes are awesome.

Speaker 11 So when you're installing those like how long does that take to learn these like small intricate intricate details of the blocking schemes it's actually really difficult like our um our run game meeting on wednesdays like when you do first and second down runs and that's like a 45 minute to an hour meeting that we install like 40 run plays and then by the end of the week we're at like 60 i think 60 to 75 somewhere in there and then yeah but each one is very different and each week it brings like a whole new you know different set of like challenges like the week we played the carolina panthers was when we really installed like all of our motions and stuff in the backfield and that was a trip because like i don't know you have like a play called hornet you got a play called wasp and they both mean similar things but they're completely different at the same time and change our rules so it's definitely a learning process but by the end of the year we kind of got used to it which is and that's why you can see like our run game is pretty baller in the playoffs how many plays do you know

Speaker 11 good question i flush everything after every single week Really? Yeah, I just delete it all. Because we have a brand new install basically every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Speaker 1 Wait, does Kyle ever, like, if you guys are, I don't know,

Speaker 1 well, maybe, maybe it did happen with the Falcons. Were you guys, you ever see a team where you're like, nah, we don't need to do anything new? Like, they stink.

Speaker 11 No, like, so that was like Kyle's playbook. And, like, it's just evolved so much since then.

Speaker 11 But, like, we still have a lot of similarities with their offense because we watch a lot of their tape when we play NFC South guys.

Speaker 11 They definitely, like I said, they do a lot of stuff that, you know, we do.

Speaker 1 But now that, you know, Kyle and we have, you know, McDaniels on the floor, you know, that little group, that trio yeah our it's definitely evolved a lot and it's it's really exciting when you when you throw guys off of you like that play in in new orleans last year are you like i'm i'm just such a

Speaker 1 man

Speaker 11 it's a great question

Speaker 1 it really is i like that

Speaker 1 you're talking to like two people who are so delirious yeah i know no like big you're like leaning against this you're asking a question with your eyes closed yeah i love

Speaker 1 the microphone. Yeah, but you're getting the unfiltered brain.

Speaker 1 Like, that's a stupid question, but it's also a smart question because I got to think that that moment is like, holy shit, like, I am a fucking beast.

Speaker 11 Yeah, like, immediately afterwards, I

Speaker 11 definitely said things like that. Probably, yeah, I said a lot of swear words and stuff like that.
But, like, going back and watching it, you're just kind of like, wow, I was pretty damn sick.

Speaker 1 Like, holy shit.

Speaker 2 I was.

Speaker 11 I can't believe I did that. That's more of it.
It's more of just like, wow, I get to go do that sometimes.

Speaker 11 And it looks a lot cooler than i think it is but it was actually pretty dope yeah it was super dope yeah

Speaker 11 what about the seahawks they just got jamal adams basically to try to stop you so that means that you're worth what two first round picks and a third at least right if my math adds up i guess yeah have you watched any tape on him of course and we're well we play we're when he was on the jets we're gonna play him this year so i definitely watched jamal adams he's a hell of a player so i'm just excited like the nfc west is that's some competition out there uh like from the Cardinals to the Rams and now the Seahawks definitely are and us like it's going to be a really fun conference to play in.

Speaker 11 And Jamal Adams just is going to make a lot more fun for us.

Speaker 1 Wait, holy shit. I didn't realize this because you were doing the 24-hour stream, but you made history.
You in the NFL top 100 that they've done for a decade now, you were ranked number seven overall.

Speaker 1 That's the top tight end ever since they've been doing it for the last decade.

Speaker 11 That's pretty wild.

Speaker 1 That's, did you not, you knew that? Like you're

Speaker 1 you, someone texted you and was like, holy shit, man. No,

Speaker 11 I was actually pumped. Uh, Ian Rapapor texted me on Wednesday and said, hey, low-key, but this is what you got ranked.
I said, dude, I just got my own personal scoop from Ian Rapipor.

Speaker 1 That was sick. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How about that? You should have replied, though, and been like, I already, like, the PMT guys already told me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Leroy told me two days ago.

Speaker 11 Hank already told me two days ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't let him have that satisfaction because what he's doing is he's trying to get get one over on you he's like i know something that you don't know so here it is you got to just go back and be like yeah they told me that so long ago man that's like i can't believe you're that late i'm learning from you guys i like that yes yes got to be coachable okay i'll take that i'll be back yeah have you thought about asking Kyle Shanahan, like, maybe hand me the ball sometimes and just let me run with it.

Speaker 11 Well, he does hand me the ball sometimes.

Speaker 2 Yes. Okay, so that's, that's yes.

Speaker 1 Sounds like PFT is a head coach, student of the game. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Have you asked Kyle Shanahan, hey, can I get the ball more and let me run with it? Just put it in my hands.

Speaker 11 No, I usually ask him just to run the ball more because that's what we're best at.

Speaker 2 You just want to finish people.

Speaker 11 I like locking people. It's really fun.
Moving a man from point A to point to V against as well is pretty satisfying.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's true. Grit.
So wait, do you have a definition for grit?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 11 Do I have my own definition for grit?

Speaker 1 Yeah, or is it?

Speaker 1 I'd have to imagine grit has come up once or twice when your dad writes fucking Moby Dick to you every Sunday morning.

Speaker 11 That it has multiple times.

Speaker 11 Let's see. Grit to me is taking pleasure in doing all the things that no one else wants to fucking do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Great.
Being comfortable, being uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Great quote.

Speaker 11 Look at you. Yeah, that's a good one, too.

Speaker 2 Got to credit Danny Woodhead for that.

Speaker 1 He rolled this out of the way. We learned that for two hours.

Speaker 11 No, Danny Woodhead didn't give that to you. Every coach, I've learned that from every coach since like my fifth grade football coach, which was my dad.
So, yeah.

Speaker 2 What did he write to you before the Super Bowl?

Speaker 11 The Super Bowl.

Speaker 11 Let's see.

Speaker 11 It was a 14-pager, so that was a lot.

Speaker 11 That was the most I've read in a while.

Speaker 1 I'm giving you credit for a book.

Speaker 11 Thank you.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that.

Speaker 11 And it's cool, too. There's pictures in it, too.
So it's kind of a picture book, too.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 2 Did you see drawings or did he just like print out pictures?

Speaker 11 No, it's like my dad, he uses like photos of things that like just from our relationship. So like when I was a kid, he used to read me Lord of the Rings like as a bedtime story.

Speaker 11 And so like he uses Lord of the Rings photos, Matrix photos,

Speaker 11 Star Wars. I don't know.
He just kind of goes off everything from my childhood. Just kind of makes me feel like it's still a kid's game.
I got some best point of the letters, I guess.

Speaker 11 Just remember, you know, it's never too big. That was

Speaker 11 the Super Bowl letter. It was pretty fun.

Speaker 1 Wait, so what was one of the what was one of the better things in that letter?

Speaker 11 In that letter oh my goodness like i said i usually flush stuff after every game um

Speaker 11 but it usually it's um he does a great job of there's usually like a paragraph right in the middle that he just drops about 12 f bombs and tells everybody to go f themselves and that's usually inspires me uh it just kind of locks me in and i'm just like you know like screw that guy screw that guy screw that guy's fan screw that guy and it's just i really enjoy those things Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 I like how he starts it off. He's like, hey, these are some things that are very important to me about our relationship.
But after just like five paragraphs, he's like, fuck everybody up.

Speaker 2 You're a fucking man.

Speaker 1 Fuck up.

Speaker 7 You're fucking kittle.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Put their face through the turf.

Speaker 11 And then he always comes back and it like mellows out at the end too, saying, you know, I'm proud of you. I love you.
Just go out and play football.

Speaker 11 And I was like, that middle paragraph is always the one that just gets me fired up.

Speaker 1 I love it. Dude, I got a tweet for you.
I just searched your name on Twitter. Coach Yak, who I think is a coach.
He's social video content for a 49ers. Wait, no, does he work for the 49ers?

Speaker 11 I've seen Coach Yak on Twitter. He's a nice guy.

Speaker 11 He says nice things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is a great tweet.

Speaker 1 You just nailed everything in this one. Starts with, not sure who needs to hear this.
I love when tweets start like that. It's like you're tweeting it.
Like, you're tweeting it.

Speaker 1 So you want everyone to hear it. But, and they said, but George Kittle deserves this moment.
He's talking about the top 10 player. Got it.

Speaker 1 He's not only a top 10 player in the NFL, but he's a really good person.

Speaker 12 Oh.

Speaker 1 I actually, I'm going to throw a flag on this. Coach Yak, dude, why can't you say he's not only a top 10 player in the NFL, but a top 10 guy ever?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Give you top 10 status ever.

Speaker 11 I like that. Yeah.
Like, like I said, you guys are great coaches. We just got to,

Speaker 11 he's got to improve. It's all right.
Yes. His next tweet will be better.
I know it will be.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start doing that. Not sure who needs to hear this.
Well, you're tweeting it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, starting a tweet with an open letter. I don't know.

Speaker 1 who needs to hear this, but wear a mask. Yeah.
Ooh, yeah. That's a good one.

Speaker 2 Would you consider yourself to be an even better guy off the field?

Speaker 11 Ooh. I try to be.
I think that's why I have success on the field because I try to be as nice as I can off the field. And then, you know, I'm a big karma guy.

Speaker 11 Like, I believe in, you know, everything they do off the field definitely correlates to on the field. So I think, yeah, I think I'm a nice guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That was a hard-hitting journalism question on your part.

Speaker 1 I'm not a really nice guy. I think you're cool.

Speaker 11 Pifty, you're on a roll right now, man.

Speaker 2 I'm nailing it. I'm out, though.
I literally have no more questions.

Speaker 2 Here's a good question.

Speaker 2 How soon into training camp are you going to wait to bust out the Canadian impression?

Speaker 1 Probably the opening.

Speaker 11 Like, as soon as I walk in and I have a camera on me, it'll be the, oh, hey there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, hey, how you doing, eh?

Speaker 11 I just can't help myself. It's too much fun.

Speaker 1 It's the best. It feels so good to say it.

Speaker 1 I have another question that popped in my head. Are you going, without fans in the stands,

Speaker 1 Are you going to struggle with like the adrenaline and the getting pumped up and ready to go?

Speaker 11 I think it'll be a challenge for everybody, but no, I mean, like, I just love football the way it is. Like, I like, I love practicing every single day.

Speaker 11 And the fact that now I get to go actually hit people and, you know, try to bury people.

Speaker 11 It doesn't matter if there's not anybody there because it's just going to be fun to do in front of my teammates. I just take satisfaction in it.

Speaker 2 Do they get pissed off at you in training camp? Are they like, hey, Greg, maybe take it easy on a couple of these reps?

Speaker 11 No, I totally take, like, I go hard in training camp, but I don't pancake people in training camp. I don't want to hurt.
Like,

Speaker 11 it's not good for team, you know, team chemistry. Just bad vibes.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, this is my drink body armor question. Ooh.
Drinkbody armor.com.

Speaker 2 Billy's actually asking you this question on a microphone on top of a pallet of body armor.

Speaker 1 I'm sponsoring Grit Week. So my question is, Billy, do you have any questions for me?

Speaker 11 Wait, Billy, did you just say Mr. Kittle?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did.

Speaker 11 It's Greg.

Speaker 1 Just figure that out. Yeah.
Come on, dude. I'm sorry.

Speaker 9 I was just wondering what your favorite Moby Dick quote was.

Speaker 1 No, his dad doesn't actually. It was talking about how long

Speaker 1 his dad writes him a lot. Anyway, I think I have a Moby Dick quote that I think.

Speaker 2 They don't give me headphones, so I don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 1 So I'm just,

Speaker 9 but anyway, I think you'd really like this one because it sort of ties into your Joker tattoo.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 9 There is no folly of the beasts of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men.

Speaker 11 Billy, tweet that at me. I love it.

Speaker 9 I'm going to tweet that at you.

Speaker 2 It's like man is the most dangerous animal.

Speaker 9 Exactly. So when you're trying to get hyped up and there's no crowd, I think that that might help.

Speaker 11 I'm going to headbutt a wall too, but I like that, though.

Speaker 9 That's my only question.

Speaker 1 No, you have more questions?

Speaker 8 Billy, give me another question, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, I got it. The Joker tattoo.

Speaker 9 Can you tell the story behind your Joker tattoo?

Speaker 11 My Joker tattoo? Oh, dear. Yes, of course I can.
So the Joker tattoo,

Speaker 11 I don't know.

Speaker 11 so for me football i think is like 10 your physical abilities because everyone in the nfl is like an all-american football player they're all the best high school football player best player on their team and so what can elevate you to the next level is you know i think 90 of the game is played above your shoulders just in your head so like the mental side of it and so i'm big into alter egos um

Speaker 11 and so yeah i'm big into that i don't know like bo jackson said he played um like every time he played football it wasn't him playing it was jason for like the scary movies and so like that was his alter ego And so I was thinking about an alter ego for me and something I always loved is the Heath Ledger Joker.

Speaker 11 And so part of it's just kind of like the chaos of it. And it's something that I channel as an alter ego while I play football.

Speaker 9 And that's kind of why that's that's honestly like so sick because like you go like psycho mode, you do psycho shit on the field and I can totally see how you just like get into that zone.

Speaker 9 And like there's that one video of you just blocking a guy like outside the back of the end zone. I think it was, it's like, and you're just laughing the whole time.
That's like super awesome.

Speaker 9 And like, I try to go psycho mode sometimes, but I don't have as many outlets anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 9 we kind of went psycho mode like the past 24 hours, like staying up.

Speaker 10 So you're going to help

Speaker 9 these other psychos. Yeah, I went psycho mode.

Speaker 1 That wasn't me on that.

Speaker 9 That wasn't me on the that treadmill.

Speaker 2 What are, Greg, what are some ways that you can recommend to Billy to go psycho mode in his everyday life?

Speaker 11 Well, I use like in the offseason, I lift weights, and that's like I work out really hard. Like, that's part of what I do.
Work out,

Speaker 11 maybe, you know, come back, and

Speaker 11 even though Big Cat's up by four stars, you still beat him, something like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because big, big comeback.

Speaker 9 I call my psycho mode berserker mode.

Speaker 2 No, that's fair.

Speaker 1 You brought up the Super Bowl. I think that's berserker mode.

Speaker 11 Yeah, wait, Big Cat, you brought up the Super Bowl, so I got free shots at you. Yeah,

Speaker 1 a few people watch the Super Bowl, dude. Prove it.

Speaker 1 I bet on you guys

Speaker 1 I couldn't I would have though yeah

Speaker 1 I know you can't but I I did and I was feeling real good in the third quarter and feeling real smart and I was doing the whole it's hard nose football and like they're just built different and the 49ers will smash you so you're it's your fault is that what you're saying

Speaker 1 yeah actually probably no i did help the chiefs big time every time the chiefs were down i said thanks for coming out chiefs yeah i know.

Speaker 11 I saw those.

Speaker 11 I saw those. I was like, you dirty dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I guess it was my fault.
God damn it.

Speaker 2 Did you, have you watched the replay of the Super Bowl on TV?

Speaker 11 On TV? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I have not.

Speaker 2 So you haven't seen, like, Shakira and J-Lo at halftime?

Speaker 11 Yeah, how was that?

Speaker 2 Mike Wilbon had a stroke because he got so horny.

Speaker 1 Lordy.

Speaker 2 Lordy. That was Lordy Gate.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, actually, this is probably something that you don't see on the game film, but we notice as fans at the end of the second half, when the Chiefs were about to punt, John Lynch was standing up in the booth trying to call a timeout from the booth.

Speaker 1 Did you ever see that clip?

Speaker 11 Yeah, I think I have seen that clip. Yeah, I saw that clip.

Speaker 2 We were all like screaming at the TV, like,

Speaker 1 call a timeout.

Speaker 11 Yeah, football guy right there.

Speaker 2 Were you wondering, like, why don't we get an extra 40 seconds? Like, let's call this timeout, let's go down the field.

Speaker 11 Well, did we get a timeout after that?

Speaker 2 You might have gotten one, but I think like 50 seconds ticked off.

Speaker 11 Honestly, like, like I said, I flush everything, especially like that one. I don't really remember much of the details.

Speaker 12 It's pretty fun.

Speaker 11 But I do go back and watch it. But I will say, yeah, John Lich Collins a timeout from the booth is pretty spectacular.

Speaker 2 How do you flush things? I want to learn how to do that.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 11 Like, I just literally don't remember much of the details about it. And it's just like intentional, though.
It's just like, yeah, I don't really feel like remembering that anymore.

Speaker 1 Alternative.

Speaker 2 Joker. Joker.

Speaker 11 Bill, I fucking love it, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Where did you find Billy?

Speaker 1 I don't know. He showed up.

Speaker 2 He showed us his game film.

Speaker 1 He showed up in his interview. He showed up in an interview for intern.

Speaker 8 I actually looked up his resume the other day, and he said he's very experienced with Photoshop.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 He had like five pages.

Speaker 1 George, he had five pages stapled, and like I'd say 80% of his resume was made up. And we were like, when we interviewed him, we're like, dude, this is made up.
And he's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And we're like, all right.

Speaker 1 Well, okay, fine. Yeah, like, all right.
That's awesome. I like that.
Fake until you make it.

Speaker 2 I think he included a hyperlink to his high school highlight tape, but it was on printed out paper. So, like, you can't, you can't click on a piece of paper and watch.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he was something I was.

Speaker 9 I was putting my 40 time in my spark ratings.

Speaker 1 What was your 40 time?

Speaker 9 I ran a 489.

Speaker 1 Ugh.

Speaker 1 Oh, here's a good question.

Speaker 1 Ugh. 489.

Speaker 1 Hand time. I mean,

Speaker 1 I asked Big Cat this the other day.

Speaker 2 Do you think that players get faster after they run the combine when they're coming out of college?

Speaker 2 Like, if you took a really speedy guy that ran like a 4-3 or 4-4 after two or three years in the NFL, do you think he'd run faster or slower?

Speaker 11 I know for a fact I'd run a faster time right now for sure. Not even close.
I think most, I mean, like, unless John Ross ran what, like a 4-0-5 or something, 4-1 something.

Speaker 1 I don't know how much faster he can get.

Speaker 11 4-1 said, I don't know how much faster he can get. But like, I think a lot of guys, like, I have puberty, like, age 23, I swear.
And so, like, I could definitely run faster now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I said

Speaker 1 I would, I said that guys in the NFL run faster a couple years in because they know what to do with their body and they're it's a job now.

Speaker 1 So it's not like you know you can't go to the gym at certain times or you know you have classes. It's a full-time job.
In the offseason, you are paying someone to help train you and all that stuff.

Speaker 11 Yeah, no, it's definitely a lot.

Speaker 11 I like the NFL a lot better. The freedom and being able to do whatever I want to do is much more fun.

Speaker 1 And actually, I'm a lot more responsible now like i don't just go get really drunk you know two to three nights a week yes i wish i could but we're working on that yeah um all right i have one last question for you it actually wasn't a question i just wanted to say thank you um because you were one of the day one ride or die coach doug's guys oh dude i was didn't i tell you i said dude you got to start streaming this stuff i was like

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, and

Speaker 1 you would always text me and be like, when I was panicking, because I panic like a bitch all the time, you'd be like, dude, just stick to the plan. You got this.
You got this.

Speaker 1 Like, half the time you'd be wrong, and I would just panic and shit down my pants. But I always appreciated that.

Speaker 1 I'd like throw a crippling late interception, and I'd look at my text messages after the game. He'd be like, you got this, man.
You're going to win this game.

Speaker 1 I'm like, nope, but I know George got my back.

Speaker 11 Always, man, ride or die. You kidding me? Dougs? Love it.

Speaker 1 Love it. Love it.

Speaker 11 Going back to Toledo was definitely one of my favorite moves that you pulled.

Speaker 1 Had to. We're going to get the key to the city.
We're going to get the key to the city, and PFT is going to try to walk on.

Speaker 2 He's got eligibility left. I think I do, yeah.
I don't want to go back to college, but you know, at a big-time program like Toledo, half dogs built from the ground up. I feel like they just let me.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 11 You should take a journalism class.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 that's not bad. Is that a bad idea? You get a big J.

Speaker 1 That is good.

Speaker 11 You could show off a little bit and they're like, yeah, like. I'm a big J, but like,

Speaker 11 no, hey, you're always trying to get better, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll be honest with you. I think I'd fail out of journalism school pretty quickly.
I mean, you've you've seen my dog's Twitter account. Yeah, I'm, I don't exactly have high standards.

Speaker 11 I think journalism is evolving, especially into what you guys do every single day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so maybe you could teach, you should teach a class.

Speaker 11 There you go.

Speaker 2 Can I kick on the team if I'm a professor? That'd be cool. That sounds like a Disney script right there.

Speaker 11 Disney, yeah.

Speaker 11 Wow, you had a Disney movie right in front of you guys.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that.
We're on it. Well, George, thank you so much for joining us, man.
Best way to end Grit Week.

Speaker 1 Appreciate it. Hopefully, we see you soon.
Good luck this year, and we love you.

Speaker 11 I love you guys, too. I'm just waiting for my reoccurring guest shirt.

Speaker 1 I'm going to blame it. It's on its way.
It's in the mail. It's on its way.

Speaker 2 I promise you.

Speaker 1 You moved, though. You moved recently, right?

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe. It's a pandemic.
Yeah, it's a pandemic. Hank's right.
It's a pandemic, dude.

Speaker 8 The mail is very sweet.

Speaker 11 You haven't sent me those coffee chews either, big cat. Just waiting on those.

Speaker 1 It's a pandemic. People can't get tests.

Speaker 1 They're not gonna be able to get a t-shirt from a second rate podcast it's a pandemic second rate podcast I like that no you're not yeah yeah all right well we love you man thank you so much fellas thanks for having me on

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And he's up next.

Speaker 10 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. Maybe the biggest guest we've ever had.
Yeah. We've had, we've had Kane.
We had the Undertaker. We've had The Undertaker.

Speaker 1 We've had Dwight Howard, but I think you might be the biggest. It is The Big Show, Paul White.

Speaker 1 He has a new show out called The Big Show Show on Netflix. You got to watch it.

Speaker 1 Big Show.

Speaker 1 Do we go by Paul or do we go by Big Show?

Speaker 12 I answered all kinds of adjectives. Show, big show, jackass, whatever.

Speaker 1 Jackass.

Speaker 1 Okay, the show.

Speaker 12 Show works. Everybody calls me show, so that works.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's great to have you on.

Speaker 1 I've been a big fan of yours for a very long time. Let's talk about the Netflix show first.
So it's obviously your family and raising three daughters. And I love it because

Speaker 1 I would assume raising three daughters is more difficult than wrestling for like 20 plus years in the WWE. Is that correct?

Speaker 12 I think they both have their own unique challenges.

Speaker 12 This partnership that we did with Netflix has been an incredible journey.

Speaker 12 Wanting to do family comedy in front of a live audience has been a goal of mine for a long time.

Speaker 12 Believe me, it was a heck of a learning curve at first.

Speaker 12 understanding how to hit the timing on the jokes and understand the writing. And I thought our writers did a great job of melding

Speaker 12 what it's like to be a wwe superstar and then try to also reintegrate yourself back into the family and when you're off the road so it's been really good we got another episode dropping august 10th it's a cross-promotion one with some other shows and it's called game on so it's kind of a little bit of a olympic take uh this year we think we're going to do pretty good because we've got lola who is our our ringer athlete.

Speaker 12 So hopefully

Speaker 12 things will turn out well for us.

Speaker 2 All right. So what did you take from the wrestling world from dealing with a guy like, I don't know, hypothetically, The Miz, and now you use that in how to raise small children?

Speaker 12 Well, it's funny.

Speaker 12 If you hear something, that's my bird. You have a bird?

Speaker 1 What kind of bird? Yeah, I

Speaker 12 he's an Amazon, but I have another word for it. It starts with an A and ends with an E.

Speaker 1 But anyway. Okay, okay, okay.
Amaze, amaze. Amazon?

Speaker 12 Yeah, he's an Amazon, but he's also, he's got... Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 12 I think what I take from is

Speaker 12 you can't over-parent that much as a WWE superstar because you're not around. I mean, the family is going to have lives.
They're going to have their own schedules.

Speaker 12 They're going to do their own things. And then you reintegrate yourself.
And it's a fine line to do that without being overbearing.

Speaker 12 But I've never been

Speaker 12 the rough, angry dad. That's never been my thing I'm always a sit-down and talk to me kind of guy okay what were you thinking okay what made you think that was okay

Speaker 12 do you understand what you did was not okay

Speaker 12 do we need to talk about this we're going to move forward we're moving forward okay so I don't have to worry about this again okay you're not going to paint the cats you know with nail polish okay good okay we'll move on painting the cats or painting the cats nails oh the cat itself it was it was a nightmare she was little when it happened

Speaker 1 I was going to say, pinning the cat's toenails.

Speaker 1 She wanted to give the cat a leopard, a leopard look.

Speaker 12 And it was just, you know, pink nails polished all over the cat. It looked like, you know, the cat was mugged

Speaker 12 in a bad part of town.

Speaker 1 So I want to get into your wrestling career, but before I do that, how pumped are you with the way Wichita State basketball has played in the last decade that you get a little residual bump from that?

Speaker 1 Because Wichita State is one of those.

Speaker 12 little rub from the shockers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like if you're funny because

Speaker 12 here's the thing: when I went to Wichita State, yeah, we didn't have that great a season, but you know, Coach Cohen got fired halfway through the season.

Speaker 12 They let him stay on and coach, which made it a really awkward environment for him and for us, his talent.

Speaker 12 I remember that team that we had at Wichita State was probably one of the most athletic teams around.

Speaker 12 We had seven or eight guys with 40-plus vertical leaks.

Speaker 12 Claudius Johnson, John Smith, Robert George, Winston Peterson. I mean these guys could just incredible athletes but we were also young.

Speaker 12 Wichita State was a dominant force back when they had Xavier McDaniel and Cliff Livingston and Antoine Carr, you know, but you know they had so many violations they couldn't go to tournament.

Speaker 12 You know what I mean?

Speaker 12 To now to see a town like Wichita that really supports Wichita State, the community supports the team, that Henry 11 arena, even when we were terrible uh there wasn't an available seat you know i think it seat almost 11 000 back then and it was full and it was exciting and people are passionate about it so to see the team finally uh start firing it on cylinders uh it's a really great boon for the town and yeah it's it's a nice little feather in my cap now when people say oh you went to wichita state and they like get excited about it you know so yes i appreciate the rope wait so hold on i got to go back your coach was fired halfway through the season but allowed to stay on yeah Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's awkward. Yeah, it was really awkward.

Speaker 12 It was so awkward. I mean, you know, it was funny, because Coach Cohen's the one that recruited me out of high school, and he's the guy I wanted to play for, and

Speaker 12 it was just a real weird dynamic where they let him go. Basically, you're done.
And they started recruiting for other coaches halfway through the season, but they let him finish out his term.

Speaker 12 Rather than making that announcement at the end of the season, they made it like halfway through.

Speaker 12 I think we were like seven or eight games in and they made that decision that's so sad i feel so bad for us as teammates because it's really hard uh it's not like you're you build a relationship with a coach this guy recruited you you understand his program you believe in what he's going to do with you as a talent and then he's replaced and it kind of it breaks everything up i mean some of the guys went on to different things i don't think our team I don't think Woodstock did much after that.

Speaker 12 They brought in Scott Thompson from Rice, which I understand he's supposed to be a really great guy, but he wasn't somebody that I wanted to play for. He wasn't the guy that recruited me.

Speaker 12 But, you know, things work out, you know.

Speaker 12 I got a second opportunity and got a chance to go into professional wrestling, so I think it all worked out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I was a good free throw shooter, though.

Speaker 12 I might have had a two-inch vertical leap, but I was a good free throw shooter.

Speaker 2 Could you still dunk?

Speaker 12 Can I still dunk now? Yeah, I can dunk now. It's not the going up that worries me, it's the coming down.

Speaker 1 Right, that's the hard part. Yeah, that's like me drinking.
It's like, yeah,

Speaker 2 I can drink, but I don't want to get hungover.

Speaker 12 Yeah, yeah, that's the whole thing. It's like, I mean, I'll shoot around every now and then, play a game of horse.

Speaker 12 But I've got no desire to try to dunk.

Speaker 12 To me, it just seems like the risk-reward factor is just not worth it.

Speaker 1 I'm good.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 So before you got into wrestling, I read that you were a bounty hunter. And I have to imagine that you were the most intimidating bounty hunter of all time.
It's like are we talking about the world?

Speaker 12 I don't think it's that glorious like we've seen on T V with like Lorenzo Llamas or somebody like that. I'm not that kind of a I wasn't that, I was, I worked for a Bales Bondsman in

Speaker 12 Wichita for a couple of things. And

Speaker 12 I was a nice guy. So you can be cool and ride in the car.
You can be a dick and ride the trunk. It's your choice.

Speaker 1 Did you ever actually put somebody like a trunk of a car?

Speaker 12 I have, yeah.

Speaker 10 That's badass.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 12 It's not that rewarding of a job, believe me. You understand? Like when I was doing it, I was working with someone

Speaker 12 and

Speaker 12 I was doing that for like 50 bucks.

Speaker 12 So it wasn't like it was this incredible you know it was like 50 bucks you can do it once in a while pick somebody up wait for some and most people are cool when they have stuff like that like the whole running people down and all I didn't experience any of that just showed up hey you got to come in fill out the paperwork this is what you got to do you know

Speaker 1 most people were

Speaker 12 most people really did realize that they had screwed up I mean you know they just had other things going on and they weren't trying to be bad it just you know things happen yeah also if if the show was knocking on your door I don't I don't think I would would run from you I think I would be like you know what you got me well you can understand back then I looked like lurch from you know from the Adams family I was like seven foot tall and like 315 pounds

Speaker 12 real long narrow head and these giant hands I probably looked like a

Speaker 12 I don't think I was that intimidating back then I looked like some kind of a alien

Speaker 12 probably a transplanted alien from outer space or something so that my big mullet I think my mullet was my most intimidating factor I mean you keep you keep saying that you weren't intimidating but you just keep on describing more and more intimidating things.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Huge hand. Big hand.
7-1, 3-15. Mullet.
Not that intimidated.

Speaker 2 Mullet that dragged down to the ground.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sister Christian blasted from my IROC Camaro.

Speaker 12 I don't think of that because I grew up with it. I mean, I was 6'2 at 12.
So I've never been one to realize sometimes just how freakishly big I think I was.

Speaker 12 You know, I remember being on the playground as kids and like, you know, parents would come get their kids and make them leave the playground because who's this 20-year-old, weird-looking adult, like of mice of men out there on the playground?

Speaker 12 You know what I mean? Yeah, it's hard to tell them. Now I'm 12, I'm shaving, but I'm really 12.

Speaker 2 As a 12-year-old, that's got to be kind of awkward, too. Like, you have, you have to deal with that.

Speaker 2 You know, you have to deal with other parents kind of like telling their kids it's not okay to be around you. You're like, I'm just trying to be a kid here.

Speaker 2 Did that, how did that affect you growing up?

Speaker 12 It was rough for a long time. I think it made me a little bit introverted.
It made me more of a reader,

Speaker 12 more of a person that appreciated friendships. I mean, when I got in high school and was a good athlete and stuff, but I still hung around kids that played Dungeons and Dragons.
You know,

Speaker 12 I had friends in all different classes. I wasn't just a jock.
I did a little bit of everything. So I think it prepared me

Speaker 12 to learn to appreciate friendships and how to make friendships and be open. And I developed a sense of humor with it too.

Speaker 12 Because that's one thing that I've always tried to do is have a sense of humor and make people comfortable in my presence.

Speaker 12 And then, you know, usually after a while you've been around me,

Speaker 12 the size and all that stuff goes away. You just realize I'm a big goofball.
So it wears off.

Speaker 1 So in your wrestling career,

Speaker 1 you turned heel and then turned back. I think more than any wrestler.
You had more turns than NASCAR, buddy. Yeah, any wrestler ever.

Speaker 2 Was there ever a moment, which is actually a testament that you can play both and you can go back and forth.

Speaker 1 Was there ever a moment, though, where you forgot whether you were supposed to be the bad guy or the good guy and like screwed screwed up. There were

Speaker 12 multiple nights I had to look across before I went to Gorilla, I looked at Vince McMahon. Am I smiling or frowning? Because I don't know.

Speaker 12 It's like my character had schizophrenia and I had these nervous breakdowns of multiple personalities and sometimes I would turn three times in a show. Right.
You know, I mean, it was unreal.

Speaker 12 But, you know. I'm proud of the fact that whatever we needed me to do for my character, I was able to pull off.

Speaker 12 If I needed him to hate me, like in London and get him to chant you fat wanker and then come back a year later and have him chant you still got it. So I think that's pretty good testimony.

Speaker 2 Which did you like more?

Speaker 12 I like being a heel more. I think it's easier for me.
I can tell that visual story of we've all understand that it's in our it's in our DNA and our genetics.

Speaker 12 We understand overcoming larger predators and you know David versus Goliath, all the stories that we've heard.

Speaker 12 So when I have that much size, it can influence that pressure and then

Speaker 12 turn around and make that david. Like some of the matches I had with Rey Mysterio, where you would look at Ray and I and you think there was just no way.

Speaker 12 But then to tell that story in the ring, and then when Ray starts to make a comeback, it's a 619, the West goes pop, and then the reaction from the crowd is just, it's overwhelming.

Speaker 12 When you do your job right as a bad guy in sports entertainment, as a heel, When your shoulders are getting pinned one, two, three, and it's so loud, the crowd, every person in the arena is counting with a one, two, three.

Speaker 12 That's just as incredible feeling as getting the cover.

Speaker 1 I like that about you.

Speaker 12 It's never bothered me either way to put guys over. That's never been an issue for me.

Speaker 2 I saw an interview with you where you were saying, you know what, I didn't have the best record in the history of WWE. I don't have the most titles,

Speaker 1 but you've made a lot of memories.

Speaker 2 You've made, like, you take pride in the art of losing sometimes because you recognize that it's a part of the greater show going on around you, and you're playing your role.

Speaker 2 That's like the grittiest thing ever for a wrestler.

Speaker 12 No, that's the only way you can look at it. If you start trying to keep track of win-loss records, and I think that's when ego comes into play and causes

Speaker 12 a lot of bad experiences for a lot of talent. Yeah, you're going to do well in the beginning because they're trying to establish you.
They're trying to build you as a talent.

Speaker 12 And then if you want to have a 20-year career or 25-year career, there are very few John Cena's, Stone Cold, Steve Austin's, The Rocks.

Speaker 12 There's very few of those guys that are going to be put at that top position where talent is going to be made basically to be fed to them because they're the ones that are carrying the wagon.

Speaker 12 You have to know your role and where you come into play.

Speaker 12 And to get enjoyment on your career, you have to understand what role you play. And you know, Rocket used to have the promo all the time, know your role.
Well, yeah,

Speaker 12 it can be taken as a dig, but it's also a good lesson to learn as a talent because you never know when opportunity is going to be given to you and you have to be ready for that opportunity.

Speaker 12 And you have to know that whoever's in charge booking or creative writing, they know that they can count on you to deliver.

Speaker 12 You know, I mean, I think for one time, I think I had an 0-7 or 0-8 WrestleMania record.

Speaker 12 I want to do a reverse Undertaker record, and somebody found out about it, and I won a match and screwed my record up. But

Speaker 12 I take a lot of pride in working with talent that goes on to have long, successful careers.

Speaker 12 I'm very proud of working with John Cena. I'm very proud of working with Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman.

Speaker 12 There's a lot of guys that I've got to work with over the years and help them along their journey. And I'm still here, so I must be doing something right.

Speaker 1 So we're going to, I love that answer, and we're going to run this on Friday during our grit week. So we do this every year.

Speaker 1 What guy that you've been around is the toughest guy in terms of you've seen him injured and you could not believe that he went out there and performed and you're like, this guy has supernatural grit and toughness.

Speaker 1 What's the one guy that comes to mind when I ask that?

Speaker 12 There's three guys that come to mind.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 12 One is Undertaker.

Speaker 12 Two is Kane.

Speaker 12 And the other one is John Cena.

Speaker 12 I've seen John Cena wrestle with a torn cornea. I've seen him, he had neck surgery in Pittsburgh at 11 a.m.
At 5 p.m., he came by the arena to say hi to everyone and wish us a good night on Raw.

Speaker 12 You know what I mean? Like I've seen

Speaker 1 it with

Speaker 12 just,

Speaker 12 it's another level that guys like that set the bar to.

Speaker 12 You know, I've seen Kane, you know, have a completely blowed out SI joint in a match, you know, to, you know, numbness in his leg and extreme pain.

Speaker 12 And I've seen Kane pull it together to finish the match. You know, Undertaker, we all know.
I've seen Undertaker just do.

Speaker 12 It's ridiculous how that guy goes through pain.

Speaker 12 I've seen him wrestle with 103 fever and get an IV bag as soon as he got back through the curtain, you know, where the guy had some kind of stomach flu and run into fever, but he still went out and put the match on.

Speaker 12 That kind of

Speaker 12 internal gut is inspiring. Believe me, those of us that get it,

Speaker 12 you don't talk about your pain, you don't whine about it because it doesn't matter. You go out there and you get the job done.
If you're on the card and the fans pay to see you, then you show up.

Speaker 12 If you're breathing, you can get it done. You can find a way.
I had to wrestle Edge and Taker in Washington for a pay-per-view, and I had a bone fragment locked in my knee.

Speaker 12 So my knee either was bent or it was straight. And I was going to get surgery the next day.
And

Speaker 12 I was talking to Taker about, I said, I don't know. Do I wrestle? He says, are you going to see the doctor tomorrow? I said, yeah.
He says, lock it up and go. I said, we'll work around it.

Speaker 12 So I had to put a straight leg brace on where I couldn't bend my leg. And this giant knee brace on that locked my knee in a position where I could move it.

Speaker 12 And I went out there and did the triple threat with Edge and Taker and got through the match.

Speaker 12 But I'm proud of myself that I got through it because I didn't let Edge down. I didn't let Taker down.
I didn't let the fans down. Do you?

Speaker 12 I mean, it's not like you deserve a medal for it, but that's kind of your job is to, you know, that's why we work so hard to always put on a show for our fans.

Speaker 12 We know the responsibility that we carry, and if we can, we will.

Speaker 1 Do you remember?

Speaker 1 It must have been WrestleMania 2014 because I found, I searched my Twitter of mentions of the big show, and I wrote, seriously, people who say wrestling is fake aren't watching a dead big show right now.

Speaker 1 And then I said, although jokes on me, because I'm pretty sure I just watched the big show die. What was that?

Speaker 7 Did you die?

Speaker 12 On what?

Speaker 1 I don't know. It was January 26, 2014.
Maybe WrestleMania 2014. Did you die?

Speaker 12 I don't know.

Speaker 12 Not that I'm aware of. I mean, you know,

Speaker 12 I'm still here.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you're still here.

Speaker 12 I don't. There's all kinds of rumors.
There's rumors that I got, the biggest one that I was shot and killed. Yeah.
I think it was the onion. I remember.
Or that I was shot and killed because

Speaker 12 a fan got inside of a cage match and I went crazy like a wild bear.

Speaker 1 So that's kind of funny.

Speaker 12 That kind of stuff makes me laugh.

Speaker 12 That's extremely funny and I appreciate the nod from The Onion for bringing up my name and making it relevant.

Speaker 12 No, I haven't died. I mean, a lot of people think my career has died a lot over the years, but I still keep coming around.

Speaker 1 No, you're still

Speaker 1 not dead. Have you thought about coming back as the Big Nasty? Because

Speaker 1 that was a great nickname, the original one.

Speaker 12 Oh, the Big Nasty nasty bastard yeah that was uh that was a lot of fun um that was actually a pretty cool shirt but uh um our our business model has shifted from those days so is mine I'm a TV dad now I could be the big

Speaker 1 nasty big nice dad there you go the big nice dad

Speaker 2 you had one of the all-time entrances when you came out I think it was your first time in WWE you were hiding underneath the ring in the steel cage right and Valentine's Day Massacre yeah.

Speaker 2 Vince had you cut through the bottom of the ring and you just emerged out of it. And like every wrestling fan from that point on was always like, is there somebody hiding under the ring this time?

Speaker 2 It was like how you read one story in the paper about like a snake found in a toilet and now you just check your toilet every single time. Spiders and grapes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Everyone thought that there was always maybe a wrestler or maybe you underneath the ring the whole time.

Speaker 2 But I guess what I'm getting at is it had to be an easier entrance for you because, you know, your first time in WWE, you don't have to take your time going down the ramp.

Speaker 2 You don't have to get nervous looking at the crowd. You just pop up and immediately you just throw Stone Cold into a chain link fence, right? That must have been pretty easy to do.

Speaker 12 No, actually, it was nerve-wracking as hell because I'd never, I had never, when I think about WWE, I think about

Speaker 12 the line in G.I. Jane where they talk about, you know, you're going to learn to operate at a tempo.

Speaker 12 you know, when he's giving that speech about their operational tempo and how hard they're going to work and how fast things are going to come at you.

Speaker 12 That line, that movie always makes me think about our company and what we do. Because things change on a dime with us.
I've seen entire shows change at

Speaker 12 7.45 and we go on the air. Back in the day, we go live on the air at 9.
I've seen the entire show change 45 minutes, an hour before the show starts.

Speaker 12 So the idea of coming through the ring and the creativity

Speaker 12 that WWE always puts out to try to find a different way to do things was unreal. I remember it was loud under the ring because I was loaded one or two matches before.

Speaker 12 So when you're under the ring, the ring's moving. So it's loud in your ear.
And you've got to pay attention for your cue and know what's going on and the adrenaline.

Speaker 12 But it's not like you can be in the back and do jumping jacks or toe touches or something to stretch and warm up. I'm huddled under there.
So your muscles are cramping, your legs are cramping.

Speaker 12 It's not comfortable. It's not like there's a lounge chair and not like horn swoggles under the ring where he had like a nice little lounge set up.
No, it wasn't like that.

Speaker 12 But it was a cool experience looking back now to make that kind of dramatic entrance.

Speaker 12 And that's one thing that I think our company has always done well on is when they want to feature something and make it special, they find a way to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was pretty cool.

Speaker 1 All right, I had one last question.

Speaker 1 We are in Grit Week, so we're sponsored by Body Armor. Go to BodyArmor, drinkbody armor.com.
Strawberry Banana is my favorite. You can find them on Amazon as well.

Speaker 2 Floyd Bayweather punched you in the nose.

Speaker 1 He doesn't punch that hard, does he?

Speaker 12 Well, he didn't punch me that hard because he was being nice.

Speaker 12 You know, we did that angle, and I told Floyd before we did it that he needed to break my nose to get this thing going.

Speaker 12 I said, don't put it through the back of my head, but if you don't bust my nose, we're not going to get anywhere with this angle. You've got to get it going.

Speaker 12 And I had spent a year boxing and stuff like that.

Speaker 12 So, you know, I was kind of getting used, believe it or not, it sounds weird, but getting punched in the face every day so it wasn't to me at the time it didn't seem like that big a deal and when you look back at that video and see how mayweather did it he threw these very solid punches in i didn't want him to hit me hard and break his hand either you got to figure we had a half a billion dollar fighter right that we have doing this angle so we have to take care of him you know like a faberge egg And the hardest part with Floyd was is trying to talk him out of doing crazy stuff because he's such a big fan and his enthusiasm.

Speaker 12 He wanted me to chop him and wanted me to stand on him and and but when he threw those punches they were so fast I only counted half of them you know I thought he hit me like three or four times I think he hit me like seven or eight and then the last one was a little left hook that just went right across my nose and tipped the end of it and didn't even really mess up my nose but he made it bleed and did a great job he's such a pro I can't explain how much fun I had working with him and that angle.

Speaker 12 It was one of the biggest promotions I've ever done.

Speaker 12 But he understands, just like you know, Muhammad Ali and all those great guys that understood that fight promotion and that trash talking and that gameplay. He understands that.

Speaker 12 It was so much fun to work with. And other than that, he was a pretty chill dude.
He really was.

Speaker 12 You get him away from the cameras and all that other stuff.

Speaker 12 He's a very, very chill professional. I enjoyed working with him.

Speaker 2 I love that. I love that your idea of a great time was getting punched in the face seven times and having your nose broken.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 All right, so don't worry.

Speaker 12 I'm not going to write an award-winning novel anytime soon. I got to work with what I got.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Well, this has been awesome, man.
We really appreciate it. Everyone check out the big show's show on Netflix.
Also,

Speaker 1 shout out to you because I think

Speaker 1 wrestling, your entire career, your family, Netflix show, everything you've done, I think still the pinnacle is you had a cameo in Cisco's Thong Song, which

Speaker 1 that should be like, that's first Ballad Hall of Fame because that's the first Ballad Hall of Fame song.

Speaker 1 Like that is a cultural song that you see it and you're like, I know exactly where I was when I first heard that song. I can't believe all of America loved this song.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I know. I can't believe what I got paid to do that.
It's ridiculous. There you go.
That was a very cool experience. And thank you to

Speaker 12 Cisco for putting me in the thong song. I'm a part of

Speaker 12 music culture now.

Speaker 1 There you go. That's awesome.
All right. Well, thanks so much, Paul.
We really appreciate it, man. Be well.

Speaker 12 Appreciate you guys.

Speaker 13 Be safe. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 Thanks, man. Take care.

Speaker 14 Hey, this is Rhea from Chicks in the Office. And this season, we're heading home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch.
We all know our calendars are about to get chaotic.

Speaker 14 For non-stop plans, Abercrombie has the pieces to curate your perfect seasonal wardrobe, sweaters and denim for casual plans, party dresses for nights out, and comfy matching sets for everything in between.

Speaker 14 Keep the chaos cute this season in Abercrombie. Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's finish up the show, which people who are watching this live right now, they're going to be like, holy fuck, they just time traveled. Yeah, we did.
So it's 9:30 right now.

Speaker 2 You can say that you saw this live. Tell your kids.
It's like seeing Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock.

Speaker 1 Shout out to everyone who watched the Grit stream. It was awesome.

Speaker 2 Got some acid in my head, Ben.

Speaker 1 We're so fucked mentally right now. And we're going to finish the show, a great show, a great great week, with the first ever SpongeBob table reading done by pardon my take, with special guest, Nick.

Speaker 1 Not KB, Nick. It's important to see confusion sometimes.
People are like, hey, is that that KB guy? It's like, no, it's Nick. So,

Speaker 1 what is the name of this episode?

Speaker 2 This is the Pizzeria episode.

Speaker 1 The Pizza Delivery episode.

Speaker 2 Now, just point of order here.

Speaker 2 Are we doing the voices of the actual characters or are we just going to freeform?

Speaker 1 What is SpongeBob's voice?

Speaker 1 Ba!

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that?

Speaker 9 I know how to do the laughing.

Speaker 1 Ba!

Speaker 1 Shit, that was funny, Billy.

Speaker 2 What's Squidward?

Speaker 2 Hurry up with those chairs, SpongeBob.

Speaker 2 Okay, Billy's actually really good at all these.

Speaker 1 Elmo.

Speaker 1 Bah! I can't do that.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then what about

Speaker 1 okay, I'm gonna do mine straight. I don't know if I can do a voice.
Give me a voice I could do for SpongeBob.

Speaker 2 Tony Montana.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I could.

Speaker 2 Who's the bad guy?

Speaker 1 All right, let's do it. What about Mr.

Speaker 2 Krabs? What's that voice?

Speaker 1 I hear you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. I'll give it a shot.

Speaker 1 All right. So it's the Pizzeria episode.
Squidward is played by me.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Mr. Krabs is played by PFT.

Speaker 2 I'm SpongeBob.

Speaker 1 Lyle,

Speaker 1 the fish, played by Nick.

Speaker 3 My favorite Spongebob character, too.

Speaker 1 Yep. And other.
Oh, wait, PFT,

Speaker 8 you play Squidward.

Speaker 2 I'm Krabs.

Speaker 8 There's only like two lines for Krabs.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm Squidward. All right, so PFT Squidward.

Speaker 1 Good check there, Hank.

Speaker 1 And Hank will be Mr. Krabs.
All right, let's do it.

Speaker 1 So PFT Squidward.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 scene.

Speaker 2 Who's narrator?

Speaker 8 Do a narrator voice and then a Squidward voice.

Speaker 1 Nick, can you narrate? Sure. Alright, Nick will narrate.

Speaker 3 The scene starts at the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob cleaning a table.

Speaker 2 Hurry up with those chairs, SpongeBob. It's after closing, and I'd like to go home.
Phone rings.

Speaker 1 I got it. I got it.
Coming.

Speaker 3 Leaps for phone, but Squidward answers first. SpongeBob falls to the floor and exclaims,

Speaker 1 Hello. Sorry, sir.
We're close. Mr.

Speaker 3 Krabs snatches phone.

Speaker 1 Ahoy there, Crossy Krab. Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 How can I help you?

Speaker 3 Customer explains order over phone.

Speaker 1 Pizza?

Speaker 3 Eyes turn into dollar signs.

Speaker 1 Of course we have pizza. Ah, Mr.
Krabs.

Speaker 2 That was Patrick Mahomes as Squidward.

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 1 Hank's texting wally.

Speaker 1 I see that.

Speaker 1 I was texting something to PFT. I deliver squid.
We'll bring her right over.

Speaker 3 Hangs up.

Speaker 1 Mr. Krabs, we don't serve pizza.

Speaker 3 Mr. Krabs gets a plate of Krabby patties and turns it into a pizza.
Then he puts it in a box.

Speaker 1 We don't deliver.

Speaker 1 We don't deliver.

Speaker 3 Gives Squidward the pizza.

Speaker 1 But you do.

Speaker 7 What the fuck? Can't you just get Spongebob to do it?

Speaker 1 Great idea. Take him with you.

Speaker 3 SpongeBob sneaks over, smiling big.

Speaker 1 That's not what I had in mind. Front end check.
Antenna?

Speaker 3 Touches the boat antenna, making it vibrate.

Speaker 1 Check!

Speaker 1 Bumper! Check! Bumper sticker!

Speaker 3 Bumper sticker says, I break for sea urchins. Check!

Speaker 3 Uncaps the tire pressure and puts his mouth on it, causing him to inflate like a balloon and talk in a squeaky, high-pitched voice while he is now the size of a giant parade balloon. Tire pressure!

Speaker 3 Blows out the rest of the pressure in Squidward's face, returning him to his normal size and voice.

Speaker 1 Check! Vehicle inspection complete. We're really making history here, Squidward.
That lucky customer is gonna get the first Krabby Patty pizza ever. Good.
Then you drive. Tosses his hat away.
I can't.

Speaker 1 I'm still in boating school.

Speaker 7 Come on, SpongeBob. It's just around the corner.

Speaker 1 This is so bad.

Speaker 7 Well, yeah, but.

Speaker 1 Just do what you do in school. Well, okay.
Wait, wait.

Speaker 7 Don't tell me.

Speaker 1 Back it up. Huh? Back it up.
Right back it up?

Speaker 2 Turns to move the stick shifts out.

Speaker 1 Back it up. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Shift it into reverse, SpongeBob. Reverse? Oh, yeah, reverse.

Speaker 3 SpongeBob imagines the words forward and backward turning into Korean characters.

Speaker 1 Back it up!

Speaker 3 Shifts gears.

Speaker 1 Backing up! Backing up!

Speaker 10 Backs up really fast.

Speaker 7 What is going on? Give me the wheel, SpongeBob. Give me the wheel.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck. This is so bad.
Backing up! Backing up!

Speaker 3 Backing up! They go over a bumpy area with rocks, and then they spin around and around and around, screaming. The next morning, the boat goes over five hills

Speaker 1 backing up, backing up, backing up.

Speaker 3 Boat stops with no fuel left.

Speaker 1 Backing up!

Speaker 7 Well, you backed up, and you know what?

Speaker 1 I think we're out of gas.

Speaker 7 And you know what else?

Speaker 1 We're in the middle of nowhere. And you know what else? I think the pizza's getting cold.
And the pizza's cold? Oh, the pizza's cold, not the pizza. Oh, how could it get any worse?

Speaker 1 Oh, I would time out. I think it might get worse.

Speaker 3 Kicks boat, and the boat's gasoline becomes full again, and it drives away in the distance without them.

Speaker 1 Well, we can still deliver that, but Squidward narrows his eyes.

Speaker 3 Later, both walk on the sand.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh,

Speaker 3 singing.

Speaker 1 The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Krusty Crab Pizza is the pizza.
By the way, people are saying I have a terrible SpongeBob

Speaker 1 impression. I don't even know what he fucking sounds like.
I've never seen an episode in my life.

Speaker 2 Give me another Squidward line real quick.

Speaker 1 And my feet are killing me.

Speaker 2 You guys have to switch.

Speaker 8 You have to go towards a big cat.

Speaker 2 So I'm going high. Yeah, you need it nasally.

Speaker 1 Gotcha. Okay,

Speaker 1 all right. All right, I'm resetting my squidward.

Speaker 2 I was adrift for a while, though.

Speaker 1 How do that again? Do that again, Billy.

Speaker 1 Billy. SpongeBob.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And my feet are killing me. Whoa.

Speaker 3 Trips over SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground.

Speaker 1 It's an old pioneer trick. SpongeBob, what are you doing? I saw it in a movie once.
Shh, shh, shh, it's working. SpongeBob, this is no time for.

Speaker 1 Shh, shh, it's working. What is it?

Speaker 1 Truck! 60 wheels! Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked.

Speaker 3 Starts dancing in the road while wearing a hat.

Speaker 3 Squidward sits on a rock while playing with a wooden spoon.

Speaker 2 Crashing, thrashing, break dancers!

Speaker 1 Honks his truck. He's stopping.
He's stopping.

Speaker 3 Squidward realizes he's he's not stopping and grabs SpongeBob out of the way, where they are covered in sand thanks to the truck. Squidward narrows his eyes at the smiling SpongeBob.

Speaker 1 Wait, timeout.

Speaker 1 Is there an actual song? The song?

Speaker 8 The Krusty Crab Pizza is the pizza for you and me.

Speaker 1 So fucking pissed at me that I messed it up on it.

Speaker 1 I don't know what it is. It is the pizza.

Speaker 1 I like your version better, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just freeze it.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 What am I doing? Where are we? He's. He's stopped.
No, he's. Oh.

Speaker 1 The Krusty Crab Pizza is the pizza for you and me.

Speaker 1 The Krusty Crab Pizza.

Speaker 3 The wind blows on Squidward's nose, making it touch his face, so he puts it down, only for it to touch his face again, so he puts it in his mouth.

Speaker 1 Is the pizza free delivery? The Krusty Crab Pizza. Is the pizza very tasty?

Speaker 3 SpongeBob gets carried around in the air by the huge winds.

Speaker 1 Will you let go of that stupid pizza alright?

Speaker 3 Still being carried around in the air.

Speaker 1 I can't. It's for the customer.
Who cares about the customer? I do. Well, I don't.

Speaker 3 Wind stops and SpongeBob gasps.

Speaker 1 Squidward!

Speaker 3 Starts flying again.

Speaker 1 Let go of that pizza!

Speaker 3 No! Runs over Squidward.

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 3 Holding SpongeBob's legs.

Speaker 1 Spugbump, let go of that pizza. Now it's for the customer.

Speaker 1 Spugbump, let go of the pizza. Now,

Speaker 1 dude, I don't know what we're doing. I did say that I think it I thought it was gonna get worse and it has gotten worse.

Speaker 3 Tornado spits them both out. SpongeBob uses the pizza as a parachute, but Squidward falls hard onto the ground.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey!

Speaker 3 Crawls up to the screen.

Speaker 1 Where's the road? Where's the road? A tumbleweed rolls by. We're doomed.
How are we gonna get home? Which way do we go?

Speaker 3 SpongeBob lands.

Speaker 1 What are we gonna do now? There's no road here. I think the town's this way.

Speaker 1 Oh, don't tell me. Jethro.
The pioneers?

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 3 Points to a mossy rock.

Speaker 1 Moss always points to civilization. That way? That way there?

Speaker 1 SpongeBob nods. So let me get this straight.
You think we should go that way? Yep.

Speaker 1 Well, then, I'm going this way. Huh? Squid, wait.
I don't I don't think. Trust me, I know where I'm going.

Speaker 3 Pans out to show another city in the other direction.

Speaker 1 The Krusty Crab Pizza is the pizza absolutely

Speaker 1 pizza!

Speaker 3 Later, SpongeBob is walking backwards.

Speaker 2 I want to know if the script said starts beatboxing, so that's what Big Cat was doing right there.

Speaker 1 Pizza!

Speaker 8 There it is.

Speaker 3 Later, SpongeBob is walking backwards. SpongeBob pants almost split in two and move up and down simultaneously as he continues to beatbox.
Still, later.

Speaker 1 Crushing crab pizza is the pizza. Yeah, for you and me.

Speaker 1 Crab pizza for you. Crus, the crushy, and the crab and the pizza inside.

Speaker 3 Later, they are both lying face down in the sand.

Speaker 1 Sponge, we gotta eat something. I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral.

Speaker 3 Squidward eats some coral.

Speaker 1 No, maybe it wasn't coral.

Speaker 3 Squidward spits out the coral.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was sand. No? No, no, no, no.
Mud. Give me the pizza.
Wait, I remember now. It was coral.
Give it to me. No, we promised it's for the customer.

Speaker 3 Fancy music plays.

Speaker 1 You're right. It's for the customer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe we better check on it. Make sure it's okay.
Well,

Speaker 4 just a peek.

Speaker 3 Opens box. He shuts it quickly.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's fine. No.
No, I think I saw something. Opens box.
Oh, no, I was wrong.

Speaker 7 It looks okay.

Speaker 1 Sure is a fine-looking pizza.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's that?

Speaker 1 Is that the cheese?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the pepperoni? Yeah.

Speaker 3 SpongeBob slurps.

Speaker 1 Looks good, huh?

Speaker 3 Snaps out of it.

Speaker 1 Wait a second. I know what you're trying to do, Squidward.
Close this box. I'm not letting you eat the pizza.
Give me the pizza. No.
Don't meet me taken away from you, SpongeBob. Get away.

Speaker 3 Chases SpongeBob.

Speaker 1 Get back here, SpongeBob. Give me the pizza.
Now. SpongeBob, now.
SpongeBob, now.

Speaker 1 Wait, now. Now.

Speaker 3 Runs into Squidward.

Speaker 1 I want that pizza, and you're going to hand it over one way or another.

Speaker 1 Look, we're saved.

Speaker 1 Sir, we're safe. Now give me some pizza.
No, really, Squid. We're saved.
We're saved. We're saved.

Speaker 2 He jumps in and out of his pants.

Speaker 1 Were you cooked out?

Speaker 3 To a conga beat.

Speaker 2 Save, save, save, save, save, save.

Speaker 1 Save. Save, save, save, save, save, save.
Save, save, save, save, save, save.

Speaker 3 Rips himself apart, then two parts go in circles, and then they connect again. SpongeBob starts doing a conga dance.

Speaker 1 Save, save, save, save, save, save. Save, save, save, save, save, save.
Save, save, save, save, save, save. We are saved.
That's just a stupid boulder. It's not just a

Speaker 1 It's a rock. A rock.
A rock. It's a big, beautiful old rock.

Speaker 3 Climbs up it and rubs it.

Speaker 1 Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape. SpongeBob, will you forget the stupid pioneers? Have you ever noticed that there aren't none of them left?

Speaker 1 That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral, and took their actions from algae. And now, you're telling me that they thought they could drive.

Speaker 3 SpongeBob runs over Squidward with the boulder.

Speaker 1 Rocks?

Speaker 1 Hold on there, Jethro.

Speaker 3 They stop outside the customer's house.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to see the look on our customer's face.

Speaker 1 Tring.

Speaker 3 Lyle is from Liverpool, England.

Speaker 1 Okay, perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah?

Speaker 1 I can't do that. Congratulations, sir.
Your Krabby Pizza is here.

Speaker 3 I can't do a Liverpool.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 3 Wow, thanks. I've been dying for one of the...

Speaker 1 I can't do accents.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Well, thanks, Brov. I've been dying for one of these.
I can't wait to see the look on our customer's face. Dong-dong.

Speaker 1 Congratulations, sir. Your Krabby Patty Pizza's here.
Wow, thanks.

Speaker 9 I've been dying for one of these. Where's my drink?

Speaker 1 What drink?

Speaker 9 My drink. My diet, Dr.
Kelp. Don't tell me you forgot my drink.

Speaker 1 But you didn't order any.

Speaker 9 How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink? But, but, but.

Speaker 3 Tears start rolling down his face.

Speaker 9 Didn't you ever think of the customer?

Speaker 3 Throws the pizza at SpongeBob's face.

Speaker 9 You call yourself a delivery boy?

Speaker 2 Well, I ain't buying.

Speaker 3 Slams the door. SpongeBob goes over to Squidward, smiling and trying not to cry.

Speaker 1 Sponge! Sponge! It's okay!

Speaker 1 Sponge!

Speaker 3 SpongeBob drops the pizza, falls over, starts sobbing, and absorbs his tears over and over.

Speaker 1 Sponge!

Speaker 3 Squidward gets angry, grabs the pizza, stomps towards the customer's house, and pounds on the door.

Speaker 1 Another one?

Speaker 10 Look, I told your little friend I ain't paying for that.

Speaker 2 You Scottish now?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I suppose you're okay, cool.

Speaker 1 Well, this one's out in the house.

Speaker 3 Slams the pizza box in the orange fish's face.

Speaker 1 Did he change his mind? He sent. Ate the whole thing in one bite.

Speaker 1 No, no drink? Not now. Take me home.

Speaker 3 Jumps on the rock.

Speaker 1 Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to work.

Speaker 3 Backs up the rock where they are instantly at the Krusty Crab.

Speaker 1 Work.

Speaker 3 Screen cuts to black.

Speaker 1 Oh, my egg and tentacles.

Speaker 1 You guys are

Speaker 1 wonderful. Let's run it back.
You want to do it again? Let's do it, but let's do it backwards. Oh, fuck.
What a

Speaker 1 experience that was. I got to watch some Spongebob to try to figure out his voice.

Speaker 2 You know what? After reading through that, I can see what Jim Harbaugh loves about him.

Speaker 1 Yes. Simple.
He's a hard worker.

Speaker 2 He's enthusiastic.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
That is our show. We will see everyone on Monday.
We have a great, great interview with a longtime AWL fan, favorite, recurring guest, CJ McCollum from the Bubble.

Speaker 1 So we'll see you then.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 15 Billy? Billy? Do you have monologue?

Speaker 9 Well, I've been up for about 28 hours now.

Speaker 15 I got up at 6:30 on Wednesday morning. It is now Thursday at 9.48.

Speaker 15 Through this time, I pushed myself to my physical and mental limitations. I ran 26.2 miles in under 8 hours with brakes.

Speaker 1 My gooch is extremely shaped.

Speaker 15 My eyes keep twitching.

Speaker 15 I don't know

Speaker 9 what is happening and I think I can start to see sounds.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.