Rob Lowe, The Mt Rushmore Of Stadium Jams And Monday Reading

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Aldi is now on Uber Eats. So whether your fridge is empty and you're too tired to shop, or you just ran out of essential ingredients, don't worry, we got you.

Speaker 2 Get 40% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats with code New Aldi25. Orders $30 or more, save up to $25, and it's 1231.
See out for details.

Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have recurring guest Rob Lowe on the show. Haven't talked to him in a couple of years.
He's got a new podcast out. I think you can go download it.

Speaker 1 It's coming out this week. Chris Pratt is his first, first guest.
He's going to have Magic Johnson on. We get into that.
He's going to get some answers for us. We have Who's Back of the Week.

Speaker 1 We have the Mount Rushmore of Stadium pump-up songs, which we're going to. Are we going to allow Billy into that Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. All right.
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 3 We'll let him into it, and then we'll decide retroactively if it's here on the graphics.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, all right. Okay, so that's fair.

Speaker 1 And then we have a Monday reading. So a packed show for everyone.

Speaker 1 Billy's already looking like he doesn't know what to do. All right, we'll get to that later.

Speaker 3 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 3 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 3 My favorites favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy monster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 3 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go. I almost burped.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence

Speaker 1 And then a lot of soft work to be done

Speaker 1 No place to hang allow washing

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sound Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA.
Today is Monday, June 22nd.

Speaker 1 And if you were listening to the preview, we have settled it. We figured it out in the space when Electric Avenue was playing.
Billy will not be involved in the Mount Rushmore today.

Speaker 1 He will instead do a side Mount Rushmore of lifts.

Speaker 3 So, lifts again, not like stuff you put in your shoes, not cars you you get in instead of an Uber. We're talking lifts as in muscle development for gains, exercises.

Speaker 1 We are here. It is Monday.
It is Hellscape Sports World.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, I'm starting to get too woke that this has all been rigged so that we all have to watch soccer, which I don't even hate, but I watched so much soccer this weekend.

Speaker 3 I watched enough soccer to the point where I feel like I totally understand the drama going on in the EPL right now.

Speaker 3 Like, I didn't realize it, but Liverpool, shout out the Liverpudlins that listened to the part of my take. You guys are getting your first English Premier League title

Speaker 3 and it almost got taken away from you like the Montreal Expos lost in the strike year. So congratulations.
You got a result in your Derby against Everton.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they wanted to win there.

Speaker 3 They did want to win, but they got a result.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so Pulisich scored. But yeah, we're here.

Speaker 1 Life is now just soccer

Speaker 1 with a little side of horse racing.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much it.

Speaker 3 The globalists will never make a golf.

Speaker 1 There you go. Oh, yeah, golf.
Golf watch. Oh, yeah, golf.
Brooksky. He's going to win.

Speaker 3 He's tied to the league right now, but I don't think he's going to win because Tyrell, whatever his last name is, is tied with him, and he's got like 12 more holes left.

Speaker 3 The Course is a joke this week. And I want to give my fuck you of the week to the Course down in Hilton Head, South Carolina, because it's just getting dominated.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Take away this Course's tour card.

Speaker 1 We got the Travelers, though, coming up, which if you listen to this show, you know how excited we've been. Big one.
The fifth major excited. So excited.
It's not a major, but it's big.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's basically bigger than the British Oak.

Speaker 3 I mean, the field that they have every year for the Travels. It's a minor, major.
It's a who's who. I would say it's a major minor.

Speaker 4 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like that better. Either or.
Just get excited for it. So, yeah, that's sports.
We're here.

Speaker 3 Dak Prescott contract back in the news again. That's great.
I feel like there have been nine updates on the Dak.

Speaker 3 It's like between Dak Prescott and Jamal Adams to figure out whose contract is going to be in the news. By the way, we talked a little bit about Jamal on Friday's show.
He is the new Antonio Brown.

Speaker 3 We all just think that Jamal Adams is now

Speaker 1 a free agent. And Antonio Brown's.
Oh, I mean, Antonio Brown's a lot crazier.

Speaker 3 Not on the mental side.

Speaker 3 I'm talking about the fact that he has us all convinced that he's a free agent.

Speaker 1 Right. He's still got two years that they can control his contract more, actually, if they just start franchise tagging him.

Speaker 1 The only other big news I saw was Twitter decided to go, like, they went full send, and I'm going to tip my cap

Speaker 1 the cancel brigade because they went for the final boss, Joe Rogan, and failed. And that was funny to watch.

Speaker 1 That was a heat check moment by Twitter. They're like, holy shit, we've been hitting shots from half court.
We've been canceling everything.

Speaker 1 Let's see if we can take down Joe Rogan, who has the biggest podcast in the world and can basically just snap his fingers and take his audience anywhere. And they failed, but they tried.

Speaker 1 And I had to tip my cap. Like, hey, shoot your shot.

Speaker 1 You attempted to take down the biggest guy you could take down for canceling.

Speaker 3 Shoot for the moon. Even if you fall short, you'll end up amongst the stars.
It was our teachers who knew nothing about astronomy used to tell us.

Speaker 1 He was trending all day Saturday. I just kept on looking and being like, what is going on here?

Speaker 1 And I couldn't fully understand what he was being canceled for. And then I realized, like, Joe Rogan,

Speaker 1 Joe Rogan would just go and just talk into a fucking tomato can and 10 million people would listen.

Speaker 3 Yes, he would sell 10 million tomato cans with strings on them, ham radios, just listen to through their windows if he wanted to.

Speaker 3 The thing about Joe Rogan is, yeah, he is uncancelable because he would actually, let's say that Twitter was able to get his contract with Spotify canceled, right?

Speaker 3 He would just take that, ride that wave of publicity, go back to what he was doing before, and still make a shitload of money, if not more.

Speaker 1 He owns his own podcast, and his only boss is Dana White. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is the most bulletproof person alive.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Dana White would give you a raise if you almost got cancer for something.

Speaker 1 I just, that was, that's our new sport because we have no sports. So

Speaker 1 shout out to whoever tried to cancel Joe Rogan. That was.

Speaker 1 You tried. You tried.

Speaker 3 And this is not an endorsement of everything Joe Rogan has ever said or done, but he has a huge fucking audience.

Speaker 3 You tried. You tried.

Speaker 1 He tried. It was trending all day, and I was so confused what was going on.

Speaker 3 Oh, how excited are you guys for the Espes tonight, huh? That's going to be electric. That's tonight.
Espees are uncancelable. Yeah, so this is what ESP decided to do.

Speaker 3 I didn't even realize they were tonight until Adam Schefter tweeted out earlier today, the Espes are tonight. And that was basically the entire breaking news that he had.

Speaker 3 They're doing, I don't know, like a virtual Espes. I'm sure it's going to be wonderful.

Speaker 3 They did not reach out to me to write any of the jokes for the monologue.

Speaker 1 So you know what?

Speaker 3 I'm canceling the Espies.

Speaker 4 This actually might be electric.

Speaker 1 Yeah, who's hosting? I don't know. Not me.

Speaker 1 How do you know? How did you find out that they were happening?

Speaker 3 Adam Schefter's tweet.

Speaker 3 That said, I think Adam just found out earlier today that the SP is Woodson Night, just like us. Oh, and I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 He was breaking the news. I'm going to look this shit up.

Speaker 4 Post Russell Wilson, Megan Rapino, Sue Bird.

Speaker 1 Are you from a Zoom?

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 This isn't even when the SPs usually are. No.
No.

Speaker 1 The SPNs. How would they change when it was?

Speaker 3 The SPs are reserved for the most sacred day in sports, the day after the All-Star game, when there's nothing going on.

Speaker 1 I did. I love DSPN trying to

Speaker 1 boost whatever they're having people watch now when they did a big, hosted by Mike Greenberg, a big sports are coming back like roundtable where they talked about sports coming back and what it would look like.

Speaker 1 And it's like, wait, but it's not, sports aren't actually coming back. Like, I'll see it when I believe it.

Speaker 1 But all I see on sports news these days are every fucking person, every single fucking person who's ever played soccer can play soccer right now.

Speaker 1 And then if you're in a NCAA football weight room, you immediately have coronavirus. Did you see that? That's pretty much what it is.
Did you see what the Joker did? What? Djokovic? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What did he do? He played in front of people, right? He hosted a tournament in Serbia. That's my guy.
No crowd. No social distancing.
No, duties. No masks.
Ball boys, the works.

Speaker 1 And then a guy that was playing in the tournament got Corona and had to put up an Instagram being like, hey, I kind of got Corona.

Speaker 4 And it was like, it wasn't even.

Speaker 1 Hey, I kind of got it.

Speaker 4 It wasn't a tournament. It was like a volunteer.

Speaker 1 Like, he didn't have to play. So, we have 10.

Speaker 4 And he was like, visually, like, sick and coughing and shit in his match.

Speaker 1 I'm laughing, bro. You shouldn't laugh.
Holy shit.

Speaker 4 And Djokovic was saying, he's like, no, well, you know, I know a lot of places haven't dealt with coronavirus well, but like in Serbia, we have. We've done a good job.
So we can do this.

Speaker 1 That's why I go.

Speaker 3 Man, didn't he get beat by like an unranked guy last week, too? Well, he's probably sick. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's probably pretty weak.

Speaker 3 No vaccine Djokovic is getting his shit pushed in left and right.

Speaker 3 Anti-vax Jokovich.

Speaker 1 Billy just got it.

Speaker 1 That was a little late there.

Speaker 1 It's funnier when you repeat it.

Speaker 1 Billy, can you explain the joke?

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 3 Novac

Speaker 1 is like no vaccine. No vaccine.

Speaker 3 Anti-vax.

Speaker 3 Okay. Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 1 We buried that one.

Speaker 1 Anything else?

Speaker 3 Instead of the Richter scale of Kate Upton Boobs, just have Billy explain my shit and jokes back.

Speaker 1 How many minutes does it take Billy to get the joke and say it back? Yes. Anything else we got? Anything else that's buzzing around news?

Speaker 1 We're just waiting for MLB. We think NBA is going to happen.
We think hockey is going to happen.

Speaker 4 Clemson football is going for herd immunity.

Speaker 1 Clemson, which is Dabo's finest move.

Speaker 1 Pretty much every football program is going to go for herd immunity. And we're going to have a football season that just every team that already got it out of the way.

Speaker 1 Those are going to be the ones that

Speaker 1 saving.

Speaker 4 Betting's going to be crazy when star players and shit get announced to not play like a day before the game. That's what I was saying.

Speaker 3 They're gonna do the testing. Like, it's gonna be fucked.

Speaker 3 The way they have it set up right now in the NFL is that on Saturday nights, they're gonna be testing the players if all goes according to plan, and then they'll get the results back probably within the hour.

Speaker 3 And then at the very last minute, they'll have to say which players want to play.

Speaker 1 Matt Berry's gonna be so mad.

Speaker 3 David Johnson might get a career record in rushing attempts this year.

Speaker 1 That's gonna

Speaker 1 flip him out. Watching people get mad when people are sick and be like, fuck you, you fuck my fantasy team.

Speaker 3 So you're going to have to take that into account when you're doing your drafts this year.

Speaker 3 Which player is less likely to hang out with all of his teammates? Who are the biggest losers in the NFL, and you're going to want to pick them up so they have less of a chance of contracting it?

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers. Bo Callahan.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Good point, Billy. Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 3 He's my 1A. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our Who's Back of the Week. And then we have Rob Lowe coming up, and we have some Monday readings from Mount Rushmore on the other side of Rob Lowe.

Speaker 1 Before we do Who's Back, give it up for Chicago!

Speaker 5 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 5 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 All right, who's back of the week? Hank, why don't you start?

Speaker 4 My who's back of the week is dunking babies into water.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Shout out to Baptist.

Speaker 4 This video, I mean, so Ken Jack actually, co-worker, found this video lurking on TikTok, I guess, and put it out on Twitter. It went viral, and it's this lady, I know it's a podcast.

Speaker 4 It is a lady holding a baby, and I kid you not, she basically just gronk spikes the thing into the ocean, and then it like floats back up, and it's like it sparked a debate on like if this is the proper way to teach kids how to swim.

Speaker 4 It's a funny if you guys haven't seen the video. I'm just sending you the video right now.

Speaker 3 She blows a baby into the ocean?

Speaker 4 She gronk spikes it into a into like a pool.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
But

Speaker 1 dunking is back.

Speaker 1 Pool season. Dunking is back.

Speaker 1 Oh, the food. I was wondering what you're doing.
Yep. Billy's back.

Speaker 3 Interesting. So is this similar to those videos that go viral every couple years where there's a priest that gets super aggressive?

Speaker 3 I think usually it's like an Orthodox priest who's like very intensely doing the baptisms.

Speaker 1 The coronavirus baptisms were very funny with the priest with super soakers.

Speaker 3 Yes. That was cool.
That was great. Oh, this is a very funny video.
Yeah. Good call, Hank.
I kind of want somebody to do that to me.

Speaker 3 That looks awesome.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 I love dunking. Dunking is great.

Speaker 1 When you dunk someone? Yeah. Hell yeah.

Speaker 3 I want Cardi B to just Cardi B smash me into the ocean.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, who's your who's back?

Speaker 3 My who's back of the week.

Speaker 3 I'm going to get a little personal here because I did tweet about it and I put it on Instagram Instagram last week a little bit. Leroy had a very bad end of the week on Thursday.

Speaker 3 He got extremely sick. I was very, very worried about him all weekend long.

Speaker 3 Ended up sleeping on the floor with him a couple nights because he actually couldn't move for a while. And he just, he, the fucking dog just made the best recovery that I've ever seen

Speaker 3 of any animal ever.

Speaker 3 It was getting pretty emotional for me on Thursday and Friday. But Leroy seems to be back to normal.
He is an older dog. He's 12, which in mastiff years is like 120.

Speaker 3 uh so he's an old guy and he's he's been through some but he keeps coming out the other side but leroy is officially back this week back to his old self and i'm i'm very very happy about that very excited oh yeah leroy to have leroy feeling better there's no worse feeling in the world than having a sick dog because you can't ask the dog what's wrong how do i fix it you just have to you have to snap into parenting mode and so i know it's not the same it's not really real father's day but i felt like uh i felt like leroy and i got closer this week Well, that's a great segue because who's back of the week for me is my coworkers not wishing me a happy Father's Day, but that's fine.

Speaker 3 Happy Father's Day, big guy.

Speaker 1 Happy Father's Day.

Speaker 1 I wish you one on Twitter.

Speaker 4 I liked your tweet about being a dad.

Speaker 1 It's fucking awesome. Yeah.
It's the coolest thing. That was my support.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hit the heart button. I loved it.
No, I actually, it was very weird because, like, not to say, I,

Speaker 1 coworkers are, their hearts in the right place, but I did get some text from our coworkers being like, happy Father's Day. I'm like, aren't you supposed to say that to your dad? Yeah.
Like, I'm not.

Speaker 1 there's nothing here for me. So, but it was a nice gesture.
No, that's not my real who's back. My real who's back is Guy Fieri.
Guy Fieri is back because the city of Columbus is

Speaker 1 has a petition now. Columbus, obviously, not a great dude in history.
So we're cleaning up history and we're replacing it with real American history and going to name Columbus Flavor Town.

Speaker 3 That would be sick if Columbus's ships were named Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

Speaker 3 In retrospect, we should rename his ships.

Speaker 1 Yes, we should rename everything. I kind of like this, though.
Like, we're going to clean up history, get rid of the bad dudes, and get like our real true culture.

Speaker 3 I mean, if you hate Guy Fieri, then I hate you.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 I will die on that hill. It's impossible not to like Guy Fieri.

Speaker 1 Yes. What do you got, Billy? Can I get a who's back? Yeah, you have one in a second.
Who's back? Hold on. You have one in a second.

Speaker 3 Guy Fieri needs to come on part of my take. Yes.
He said that he would come on part of my take if I ate 50 of his wings at his restaurant in Atlantic City.

Speaker 1 We were going to have him on in Super Bowl week, but he was like in Fort Lauderdale, and that was a long way away, which also Super Bowl Weeks feels like a long way away. That was a long time ago.

Speaker 1 My other, who's back is

Speaker 1 teenagers in general, the TikTok teens, basically registering for K-pop and TikTok teens, registering for over a million seats at Trump's rally in Oklahoma, and then having everyone say, like, oh, yeah, we're going to have a million people there.

Speaker 1 And then there was like 6,000 people there. Just, listen, if you want to go at someone, just don't go at the fucking teenagers on TikTok.
And they are a scary group. And the K-poppers.

Speaker 3 The K-poppers are, they wield the most powerful.

Speaker 1 All respect to K-poppers.

Speaker 3 Yes, they wield the most power of any single group on the internet by far.

Speaker 1 I'm strongly the strongest invite on the show.

Speaker 1 I'm including

Speaker 1 K-pop on the show.

Speaker 3 I'm including the M-Fam. I'm including the NRA.
I'm including SEAL Team Clay.

Speaker 1 I don't like the power.

Speaker 1 All the most powerful people. Seal Team Clay, dude.
You forget about D-bass on the internet.

Speaker 3 They pale in comparison to the K-pop army. So,

Speaker 3 who's the big one? Who's the big K-pop band?

Speaker 1 I know, Joe, you asked.

Speaker 4 I thought the name of the band was K-pop. No, Joe,

Speaker 1 Korean Pop.

Speaker 3 Jeff D. Lowe booked him on Good Morning America at one point.

Speaker 3 Shit, we got to get them on part of my take, though. We got to get on their good side.

Speaker 1 We're pro K-pop.

Speaker 3 I'm actually a huge K-pop fan.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 You're such a big K-pop fan. That's what it is.

Speaker 1 I I love BTS.

Speaker 3 BTS is my favorite band in the whole world.

Speaker 1 Let's get BTS with BTS.

Speaker 3 Name one of their hits. That'd be amazing.
Their biggest hit.

Speaker 3 I like them all. I can't choose one.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 3 It's like picking your favorite Philip Rivers Child.

Speaker 1 Dang them style. Nope.
That's scientist. Nope.

Speaker 3 That's K-pop, though. It is K-pop.

Speaker 1 That's a K-pop song we all know.

Speaker 3 But we're talking about BTS.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 We're big BTS fans.

Speaker 1 Billy, what is your

Speaker 1 who's back of the week? Yeah. La Crosse.

Speaker 1 Oh, La Crosse is actually coming back, and now you guys are going to all be forced to watch it. And I know Hank's a big lacrosse guy, but

Speaker 1 La Crosse is sick. Everyone's looking at La Crosse wrong.

Speaker 1 La Crosse is just legitimately tribal warfare in the mall, like the closest thing to primal tribal warfare. How is it back?

Speaker 1 Well, it's back because they're going to be playing when all their sports are playing pretty soon. And this week's.
Wait, it's gonna when is it coming back?

Speaker 1 I think the PLL is coming back in like mid-July. So when all the other sports are gonna be back? No, but it's...
Well, baseball won't be back, and everyone's gonna be like, what do we watch?

Speaker 3 You missed the part where Billy said how it was tribal warfare.

Speaker 1 Goddamn. That's why it's back.
It's back. Tribal Warfare.

Speaker 3 Goddamn. Tribal Warfare is back.

Speaker 1 Tribal Warfare is back.

Speaker 1 In form of lacrosse. Yeah, it's actually sick.

Speaker 3 Traditional.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. We're taking it back.
The Native Americans. The backfield and the core.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're pulling down the Chad and Brads of La Crosse and going back to the original tribal Native American spirit of the game. Okay.
All right, good. Grow the game.
Nice.

Speaker 3 Grow the game.

Speaker 1 I used to love playing lacrosse because it would knock out the Chads and Brads. Oh, legitimately.
Hank, what do you think?

Speaker 1 You say that, like, you aren't a Chad and a Brad. I don't consider myself a Chad and Brad.
Right. Like, that's weird.

Speaker 1 Like, to be like, I would fuck up a Chad and a Brad. Look what you're wearing.
Who are you? Look at what you're wearing. You've been upside down.

Speaker 3 The final boss of Chads.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you. Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 And let's get to the ad read because Billy, we have whoop is our ad read uh lucy's the obvious choice for a true nicotine pouch connoisseurs that's why they're official nicotine pouch partner at barstool sports they go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have unique shape that feels great we all use the breakers they're the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside they're a totally new kind of pouch only available from lucy you pop it in your mouth break it with your teeth and it's instantly hydrated releasing that nicotine faster and it's a burst of flavor no other pouch has that i promise you that gas station pouches get the job done but once you've tried lucy you won't want anything else in your pocket.

Speaker 1 All right. So go download Whoop right now.
Now we have our good friend, recurring guest, Rob Lowe. He has not interviewed Magic Johnson yet.

Speaker 1 He's going to interview Magic Johnson, so make sure you subscribe to his podcast. Chris Pratt is his first guest.
We talk about Magic Johnson.

Speaker 1 We'll get a follow-up on some things after he interviews Magic Johnson. But Chris Pratt, what a great first guest.
Go subscribe to Rob Lowe's podcast right now.

Speaker 3 There they are. How's it going?

Speaker 1 What's happening, guys? I haven't seen you since

Speaker 1 the big party. Since the Super Bowl, yeah.
Oh, yeah, that was

Speaker 1 there. I'm sorry.
Wait, let's save that. Let's save that for the show.
Hold on. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, dude. Yeah, I thought we were going right away.
All right, we're going right away.

Speaker 1 We're going right away. It's our good friend, recurring guest, Rob Lowe, on the show.
He's got a new podcast, which is called literally with Rob Lowe. I think I said that correctly.

Speaker 1 We're going to get to podcasting, we're going to get to everything else. But holy shit, I didn't realize you were at our party Super Bowl.
I apologize.

Speaker 1 Turns out doing an open-air party when there is a tornado/slash hurricane in Miami doesn't really work out. Did you survive

Speaker 1 like a little bit dry or were you just soaked? Oh my god, it was absolutely insane. I mean,

Speaker 1 it was,

Speaker 1 I thought people were going to be swept away. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I legit thought people were going to be swept away. And

Speaker 1 the other thing was like, just the fights were gnarly, man. They were good.
Yeah. Yeah.
It was rough and rowdy. It was always, always a good time.

Speaker 3 It was a trip. I was, I managed to wiggle my way into the front row, and it was so crowded that it was tough to move anywhere in that crowd.
I was sitting there watching the fight.

Speaker 3 I turn around and Rob Lowe is standing right next to me. and I'm wearing the NFL logo hat that Rob Lowe was just on television wearing matters of weeks before.

Speaker 3 Can you walk me through the story of how you acquired that hat and why you decided to wear the NFL hat?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 I have a show on Fox called 911 Lone Star and we were about to premiere. It's the spin-off to 9-1-1

Speaker 1 and Fox has spent a ton of money on it and it's their big hope and

Speaker 1 so they want me to come to the game and sit there.

Speaker 1 We're going to be on after the game, and then they're going to cut to me. And it's basically an ad for the show.
And, you know, I love sports. I'm a football fan.
So I'm down to clowns. So

Speaker 1 I get in the car to go to the stadium. And Fox has a gift bag of swag for the game.
And I'm thinking I'm going to get a championship hat. Like, that's what you get, right? You get like, no,

Speaker 1 there's no team hat.

Speaker 1 There's no championship hat, nothing other than that NFL hat, which, by the way, I thought this is the dopest hat I've ever seen because I'd never really seen one other than on a ref. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so I loved it. In fact, I was texting people a picture on the way in going, how cool is this hat? And then the next thing you know, in the like the second quarter, my phone starts exploding.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Exploding. And I'm like, oh, they probably just cut to me.
But I had no idea that it had become such a thing. So funny.
So unexpected. You got roasted.
You got roasted.

Speaker 1 But in a fun, like, there's every now and then.

Speaker 1 Right. The internet has these moments because the internet is very cynical.
It's pretty pessimistic.

Speaker 1 But every now and then, there'll be like a good old-fashioned roasting that no one gets hurt and it's just a good time.

Speaker 1 And that, and it also kind of plays in to your character in Parks and Rec, where you're positive. And it's like, I'm rooting for everyone to have a good time here.

Speaker 1 And it was so fucking perfect. And guess what? It was, what game was it? It was NFC Championship.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it was 49%.

Speaker 1 So I had a

Speaker 1 great time watching the Packers get the shit kicked out of them. But that was,

Speaker 1 you're an NFL fan.

Speaker 1 You root for all the teams to have a great time. You've won 54 Super Bowls in a row.
That's right.

Speaker 1 I'm undefeated. You're just a fan of leagues in general.
There hasn't been a Super Bowl

Speaker 1 that my team hasn't won yet. It's amazing.
I like somebody said that my favorite player was Roger Goodell. I mean, they were really funny.

Speaker 1 I love roasting myself. It's like when I did my Comedy Central Roast with Peyton Manning and those guys is like, I love a good joke at my own expense.
And

Speaker 1 there were some really, really, really funny ones coming off of that. We got more attention than we ever dreamed for ourselves.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So now, uh flash to current day you're with us right now and you are wearing a houston is that an asterisk hat or an astros hat it's a houston asterisk okay good okay hat that i

Speaker 1 had made i made

Speaker 1 7 000 of them

Speaker 1 along with my son matthew lowe who's we're both huge dodgers you guys have the same last name

Speaker 1 matthew low you know you never know Some people, you know, they get married. They don't have this thing.
Who knows? I can't keep up with the last name Brigade.

Speaker 1 Yes. So Matthew and I made these for our friends and it became such a thing.
People wanted to buy them and he's selling them.

Speaker 1 So Matthew Lowe's Instagram account, you can get one, but they're hilarious.

Speaker 1 They're subtle. I get stopped on the street.
People go, yay, Astros. I go, look a little closer.
Yep. Yeah.
Yep. And then on the and then on the back, it says,

Speaker 1 Houston asterisks established 2017.

Speaker 3 I love it. So I also love that you get the double take from somebody who thinks that they're your best friend, and then you're like, no, I hate your team.

Speaker 3 And then they have to kind of just deal with that face to face. Do you think that we should retroactively award the Los Angeles Dodgers a World Series?

Speaker 1 No, I don't. I don't think we should do that.
I literally think, hence the asterisk. It's like,

Speaker 1 you know, and I love Barry Bonds. I don't want to drag him right now because he's a really good dude, in spite of what everybody says.
He's always been great to me.

Speaker 1 But like, that there's sort of a perceived asterisk around some of that stuff, Maguire. Oh, what do you do?

Speaker 1 Andrew, there's the Andro in the locker, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 you know, it's the juicing era, it's like you're not going to take away the guy's,

Speaker 1 you know, thing, but you kind of go, oh, yeah, it just has that kind of patina to it, which I think people already know that that

Speaker 1 the Dodgers got boned for 100% boned, yeah, Bowed. The juicing era, though,

Speaker 1 the juicing era is probably the most hypocritical that sports media has ever been in the entire world. In the fact that they all made so much money covering Maguire and Sosa and Barry Bond's quest.

Speaker 1 And they all knew. And they all knew.
And baseball had this big boom when they needed it after the strike.

Speaker 1 And then when it became the congressional hearings and everything, and everyone said, oh my God, I can't believe it. What are they going to tell kids? Fuck that.
Let

Speaker 1 listen, you probably shouldn't have steroids be legal, but if you can't look back at a juicing era and be like, Every single player was probably juicing, so I don't care.

Speaker 1 All those numbers, Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. I have no problem

Speaker 1 without, I don't care if you want to throw in steroids, whatever you want to say, that you can't erase that. You can't take that away.

Speaker 1 That he was, if you watched him in his prime, he was the best baseball player of all time.

Speaker 1 100%. And, you know, there are

Speaker 1 people in baseball off the record who

Speaker 1 will tell you everybody was doing a version of what the Astros were doing. Like, if you really, if people get really, really honest, but

Speaker 1 in the sense that,

Speaker 1 you know, a guy on second base is always trying to steal signs. Like, sign stealing and that kind of low-level stuff is baked into the DNA of the game.
But the sort of institutionalized

Speaker 1 sign stealing.

Speaker 3 Cam, once electricity becomes involved in the situation, then it's a problem.

Speaker 1 It's a totally different thing. Yes, and I love the notion of it's electricity, high-tech, algorithms, and then a trash can.
Right, right.

Speaker 3 It ends. Yeah, that's the ending of the pattern.
It's just like, take this bat and then smash a trash can lid for it, and then I'll use my ears to get it.

Speaker 1 It's so perfect. It's the best way to get the message across.
Just start banging on a bunch of loud pipes whenever a curveball is coming.

Speaker 1 Well, speaking of curveballs, Clayton Kershaw, he's the one who really got roasted. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that guy, you look, you go and look at those Astro home games, and he got lit up like it was batting practice. And turns out it was.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you Darvish, as well. He got, you know, that it was pretty unfair if you're one of those guys specifically.

Speaker 3 I always thought it was just, it was weird how on time Jose Altuve always was, like, when he's catching up to a fastball. It was just weird to me, and Bregman, too, for the last three years.

Speaker 1 Those, those two guys, for sure. So, Altu, so I waved the Dodger flag over the dugout for a couple of games.

Speaker 1 It was really fun. And I just like doing shit like that.
And

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 I was over the Astros dugout for the Dodger flag. I think it was game two.
And I decided to turn the flag upside down and wave it sort of

Speaker 1 into the Astros dugout. So I was being a little bit of a bitch, you know, on purpose.

Speaker 1 And the next thing I know, a water bottle comes at my head. And I look and it's Al Tuve through a water bottle at me.

Speaker 1 But it was all, but

Speaker 1 it was great. Cause again, it was like he was kind of being a dick, but I was kind of being a dick.
And it was all good. It was all good fun and competitive.
But he, you know,

Speaker 1 do we think he was wearing a wire

Speaker 1 device? What did you guys take?

Speaker 3 I think so, just because it's so fun to imagine that he was. Yeah.
That like he's running down the third baseline.

Speaker 3 He's telling people, don't rip my shirt off because he's just strapped up like he's Donnie Brasco, like from his his nipple to his belly button, just like microphones everywhere.

Speaker 3 I want to believe that it's true, but I'd say it would take a pretty big set of balls to actually wear a wire.

Speaker 1 It'd be a baseball game. It would really be a cool baseball.
Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why would it take a big set of balls? Okay, if you're already doing what they're doing

Speaker 1 and you're worried about crowd, like it, and I'm think of just walk it through logically. Because here's my thing: if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.
Okay. So

Speaker 1 you're banging on a trash trash can

Speaker 1 maybe there's a couple games you can't hear it you miss you i never heard it dude we banged three times it was a curveball i don't know so the next thing you know someone's going to come up with an idea i know let's take the noise thing out of it

Speaker 1 and it's a buzzer

Speaker 1 and then you go okay

Speaker 1 you got a guy coming around third base greatest moment of his life greatest moment of his career And he tells he doesn't want to take his shirt off because his wife is shy.

Speaker 1 Fuck. He's blaming on his wife.

Speaker 1 it's off she's very modest

Speaker 1 and then the bad tattoos one was was great too yeah some bad unfinished tattoos yeah i remember watching it i remember like it was yesterday and

Speaker 1 going

Speaker 1 something's and this is before any of the there was even a whiff of the cheating scandal and i i thought something was really bizarre about his behavior after that walk off.

Speaker 1 He just hit the biggest home run, arguably, in baseball history. One of them.

Speaker 1 And I thought he was acting really shady.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yeah, I mean, it is the logical next step if you are saying, like, okay, what's a better way to signal to somebody than something wireless?

Speaker 3 I actually also think that at some point when you're going up to bat, if you're a Houston Astro and you know that you've got the system worked out, you're thinking a lot more about like, wait, is this trash can sound going to come than you are actually about the game situation?

Speaker 3 Like your mind is just like, you know, it's focused on that.

Speaker 3 So I wouldn't be surprised if they try to get a little bit more fancy with it, but man, I just wish that there had been we had some sort of camera angle that you could see an actual wire across Altuve's chest, that would be so great.

Speaker 1 Fantastic, would have been fantastic. Um, so let's talk about your podcast.
You, yeah, so

Speaker 1 what uh in your brain said, you know, what the world needs, another podcast. What, how did that go down?

Speaker 1 Um, here's what happened, frankly, due as I have done podcasts myself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've had such a great time having these unfettered, long-form, meandering, say what the hell is on your mind conversation because it's the podcasting, as you know, is the only place where you can do that now.

Speaker 1 When I came up, you could do that on talk shows. Yes.
You could do it. And you would have these great rockon tours come up and talk about random shit.
And now.

Speaker 1 It's like you talk for three seconds and then they want you to do a pie fight

Speaker 1 or get on a skateboard track or something. Right.
And, and so

Speaker 1 I, and then the other, the part of it was, um,

Speaker 1 I started doing a one-man show and touring the country and just sort of enjoyed telling my stories to people. And then the other end of it was like, look, I've been doing this for so many years.

Speaker 1 I have so many interesting

Speaker 1 friends. Like, no one's going to talk to Gwyneth Paltrow like I am.
I've known her since she was 16 years old. Like,

Speaker 1 I know where all the bodies are buried, and it's going to be fun. And, like, no one's going to talk to Chris Pratt the way I'm going to.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 that was the impetus for it. And I'm loving, loving doing it.

Speaker 1 It comes out on the 25th. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I said that in jest because I actually do think, like, as someone whose job is to podcast, it's... a ton of fun.
And there's a pushback that's happening right now.

Speaker 1 And I understand it, that people are like, well, not everyone needs a podcast and celebrities are kind of taking from the smaller podcasts.

Speaker 1 But to me, it's the more the merrier because one, I want to hear those conversations. I want to hear the conversations where people can really strip it down and be like, hey, we're friends.

Speaker 1 Here's our friendship out in the public. And two,

Speaker 1 there is an element where we're showing it right now. If you start a podcast, you have to go on a podcast and it becomes an ecosystem where you come on our show.

Speaker 1 And so whenever someone starts a new podcast, like I'm not mad because guess what? They're probably going to come on our show to plug it. And we get to talk to them and have a good time with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did it with, you know, Cohen and O'Brien's my partner on the show. And we've done each other's shows and it's been really fun.
And

Speaker 1 it's like, it's like, look, if you would be curious to pull up a chair

Speaker 1 at a dinner I'm having with Mike Myers, then this is the podcast for you. Okay.
nice. I can get on board with that.
Nice.

Speaker 3 A little tip: as you're getting into the game, you always need to get your host or your guest, excuse me, to say something provocative, say something that's going to get some headlines.

Speaker 3 So now I'm going to open up the floor for you to say something provocative that we can take out of context to use.

Speaker 1 Bro, I already have.

Speaker 1 If you don't think my public perception mind hasn't been cranking through this whole interview, going, I'm about to get ruckused by Major League Baseball and the Houston Astros ownership.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the headlight

Speaker 1 accuses them of cheating or whatever. You know what I mean? Rob Lowe designs hat.

Speaker 1 What about

Speaker 1 big or what's untouchable to Drew Peterson in jail? Will you announce that? Let's go. Let's go.

Speaker 1 I would play that character forever. I mean, you know, when I get to get into a fat suit and wear prosthetics, it's like a get out of jail free card.
I can kind of do whatever I want to do. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Have you ever considered taking on like the Christian Bale route where you accept a role, but you have to gain like 70 pounds for it?

Speaker 1 Well, there's a great story going around about the Oscars work. Christian Bale was up for lead actor.
And oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was,

Speaker 1 come on now. Gary Oldman.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So Gary Oldman. and Christian Bale are up for the same award.

Speaker 1 Gary Oldman wins it.

Speaker 1 And backstage,

Speaker 1 Bale's like, so how did you handle the weight? How much did you have to eat? What regiment were you on? He's like, bro, what do you mean? I wear a fucking fat suit. Are you crazy?

Speaker 1 And Christian Bale, who did not win the Oscar and tortured his body and had a miserable experience, is like, oh, and watches the guy walk off with the Academy Door. So hence, fat suit.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I wanted to quickly bring up a issue that is near and dear to my heart and that we share, we have in common. And I think we need to use our platforms for good and get out there.

Speaker 1 You don't know what I'm going to actually say. You're nodding because you think I'm actually say something serious.
But you and I both are admitted hair dyers.

Speaker 1 And I want to get out there and let people know it's okay to dye your hair as long as you're honest about it. I have gray.
I get the grays around the temple. I look like Paulie Walnuts.

Speaker 1 You've been dying your hair since you were 24 years old. Let's end the stigma now.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 look, I'm with you on ending the stigma, but let me be let me be perfectly clear.

Speaker 1 I have been dying, my hair is not gray other than the temples, and it is and it's gray and I'm fine with it.

Speaker 1 But I play different characters all the time, and it's not appropriate for them to have someone.

Speaker 1 You're ruining the stigma. You're saying that you don't dye your hair for pleasure, you do it

Speaker 1 for work only?

Speaker 1 I don't want to ruin the stigma, but if I weren't playing characters, like during COVID,

Speaker 1 I let it all hang out. Are you gray right now?

Speaker 1 Let's see. Let's see now.
Show me the template. No, not now.
No, because I'm because I'm preparing for maybe an audition.

Speaker 1 You look great.

Speaker 1 You look great. Yeah.
You look pretty good for a great project.

Speaker 1 Do you have someone else diet or do you do it yourself?

Speaker 1 I have highly trained professionals. I mean, listen, it's like working with my hair.
My whole look is like working with radioisotopes.

Speaker 3 You got to be really, really careful.

Speaker 3 It's just,

Speaker 1 I am okay. The people who I get upset about are like Coach K, for example, who will not admit that he dyes his hair.
Let's end the stigma. Just say

Speaker 1 I dye my hair. I tell people.
I tweet like, hey, dyed my hair today. Because there's nothing to hide.
It's just, it sucks when you're, I'm 35 and I look like I'm 50 when I don't dye my hair. It sucks.

Speaker 1 So yeah, call me vain, call me self-absorbed. I dye my hair and I'm not ashamed of it.

Speaker 1 You're never, you're never going to get an argument from me

Speaker 1 about dudes doing stuff to look better. I think more of us should.
Yeah, that's a great argument. I'm going to

Speaker 1 look the best. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Dudes, fellas, we should be looking our best.

Speaker 1 There's nothing wrong with it. No problem with it.
There's nothing, there's nothing, you know, that's why we love our girls because they do it. Right.

Speaker 1 Every girl is like raised in a culture where they want to, everybody looks good and wants to do this, that, and the other. But guys,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 let's face you know, it's why I started a men's skincare line because there you go, because I

Speaker 1 believe that every guy should try to be the best version of himself, not just with how they look, but with everything. Manicure and pedicure?

Speaker 1 You know, I've had them. I feel like it's, it's, it's, there are other things I could be doing with my time.

Speaker 1 Okay, because I that's my next hurdle is like, I haven't been able to do it, but I know, like, my, I, I bite my nails, I got crap cuticles cuticles are bleeding all the time.

Speaker 3 I've heard that the massaging of the foot is very nice.

Speaker 1 I haven't had it, it's so good.

Speaker 3 I haven't had it, but I've heard that's the way that you, that's why you want to go dudes just talking about this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's your wait? What's your skincare thing? I need to buy that. Oh, it's yeah, it's you'll love it.
It's called Profile

Speaker 1 Cobalt, and you can, you can get it. It's not you, that's smart to get dudes into it.
Like, what we got to talk about a metal or something. Like, I got this new skincare product.

Speaker 1 It's called Murder Face. yeah it's called hemi 9000.

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 exactly i wanted yeah you i can't talk i don't want to sell you guys i can't say you serums and things like that no no no guy wants that but um no cobalt's the dude yeah i i um it's everything that i've learned over the years of going into you know i i show up for work and people start lathering my face up with stuff i never would have done it on my own and it's been happening to me since i'm 15 and i think you kind of see the results over all of the years of people doing, I would never do it on my own.

Speaker 1 That's the issue. Guys don't do it.
They need to do it.

Speaker 1 They need to take care of the skin. Who do you think looks better for their age? You or Paul Rudd?

Speaker 1 I love, first of all, I love Rudd. We worked together on Parks and Rec.
He was so funny and so hilarious. Frankly, I didn't realize how ancient he was.
I did not,

Speaker 1 I did not realize, I just thought he was a young man. Turns out he's really old and just looks great.
I didn't know that.

Speaker 3 Good job deflecting the question.

Speaker 1 Yeah, really good job. Right? See?

Speaker 3 We're going to get right back to this interview with Rob Lowe. Before we do, I want to talk to you about our good friends over at Roman and their nightly defense system they've got for your body.

Speaker 3 If you've been dealing with acne, redness, dark spots, or wrinkles, finding treatment that works can be pretty complicated.

Speaker 3 You need skincare that actually performs, but getting started can be overwhelming.

Speaker 3 I don't know if you've ever gone to a pharmacy, if you've walked through a CVS or a Walgreens, tried to figure out what you need to buy for your face, for your skin. It's impossible.

Speaker 3 I don't know how anybody ever makes those decisions, but thankfully there's a solution. Roman makes it convenient to get customized prescription skincare that really performs.

Speaker 3 Just grab your phone, get on your computer, either one, complete a free online consultation, and you're going to hear back from a U.S. licensed physician within 24 hours.

Speaker 3 If appropriate, a doctor is going to prescribe a custom blended treatment based on your skin type and priorities.

Speaker 3 Then you'll receive your custom skincare skincare treatment with a free two-day shipping you also get free unlimited follow-ups with your doctor if you need to make a change to your treatment or if you have any questions if things aren't getting better that's right it's a free unlimited follow-up visit with your doctor if you need to make any change or if you have any questions about your treatment with roman there are no commitments you can cancel it anytime go to get roman.com slash bar stool to try out a three-month supply of nightly defense for just five bucks it's free to chat with the doctor and your first order is just five dollars.

Speaker 3 That's getroman.com slash barstool. Eligibility requirements and additional terms apply.
Now back to Rob Lowe.

Speaker 1 Given in 2020, do you think the politics of Parks and Recreation holds up?

Speaker 1 Well, the one that I'm more worried about is

Speaker 1 the West Wing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you actually like in a real honest answer? Like, I've seen that where people are like, oh my God, I can't believe

Speaker 1 they glorified the Clints or anything. However, it may go down.
Do you just step back and you're like, listen, it's a fucking TV show. What do you want us to do? And it was 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 When I was making the West Swing, I mean, listen, obviously, I knew we were portraying a liberal democratic administration. I mean, obviously, I knew that.
But I didn't really realize

Speaker 1 how much of the success of the show, it turns out,

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 because that audience

Speaker 1 loved it so much. I assumed everybody loved it.

Speaker 1 Now, with hindsight of a few, you know, 10 years, you realize that there were people like, oh, that liberal show,

Speaker 1 Poppycock, which I never, I was never aware of it when we were making it. I really wasn't.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 One of my favorite things is when people go back and they try to ruin shows for themselves by thinking of what presidential candidate each character would have voted for.

Speaker 3 So like I saw that with the office a while back. I'm sure some people did it with Parks and Rec.
I actually think that I think you would have voted for Jill Stein. I think you're a Stein voter.

Speaker 1 I think Chris Traeger

Speaker 1 would have written in

Speaker 1 Leslie Knope.

Speaker 1 He would have been a write-in. He would have been a write-in guy.
He'd be like, my vote counts as much as anybody's.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you know, he would have written and let Leslie know.

Speaker 1 Or maybe been like a Mayor Pete word salad where Mayor Pete just throws a bunch of words at you and you're like, I don't know what you're saying, but I love it. I love your optimism.

Speaker 3 I love your positivity.

Speaker 3 If we must try, then we must make the effort.

Speaker 1 Mayor Pete gave off very heavy Chris Traeger energy. Yes.
Yes. He's an Indiana guy.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 3 He's probably from Pawnee.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 3 I saw that you were doing a show called The Mental Samurai.

Speaker 1 Somehow that slipped through the cracks.

Speaker 3 I didn't know that that show existed.

Speaker 1 Hence, hence

Speaker 1 the touch-up of the gray gentleman on the temples.

Speaker 1 Mental samurai, yeah, it's it's uh it's from the people who created um uh uh

Speaker 1 what's the what's the fucking obstacle course show that's so tense that's been around

Speaker 1 no American gladiators thank you um and it's it's a an amazing game show where people have to compete with their knowledge of every aspect of trivia and knowledge while in this NASA-inspired space arm that's subjecting them to G's.

Speaker 1 It's like the craziest, most fun. And by the way, it's so fun

Speaker 1 to do.

Speaker 1 We did it last year and we're starting our second season. I'm going to start shooting it in about three weeks.

Speaker 3 It just sounds cool, the mental samurai.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the winner is the mental samurai. You win $100,000 or more, and you're the mental samurai.
And

Speaker 1 you better know everything from what a Menza member would know to what the third Kardashian's name is.

Speaker 3 Okay, so I've always wondered, like, with Alex Trebek, because he's hosted Jeopardy for what, like 35, 40 years, something like that. Is he really smart by now? Does he retain all that knowledge?

Speaker 3 Like, when you're asking people trivia questions, do you retain the answers that you're asking them?

Speaker 1 No, unfortunately, because there's so much coming at you, I think what you do is you go, oh, that's a question. Like, you know, you remember the question.

Speaker 3 So you are, would you consider yourself to be a mental samurai?

Speaker 1 I'm really good in certain areas. In certain areas, I am a full-fledged mental samurai.
And in other areas, I am a mental something else that we can't say because it's politically incorrect.

Speaker 1 But you're a dummy. Cuck.
You're a dummy. I'm dumb.

Speaker 1 What's

Speaker 1 Are you actually going to do a Tiger King thing? Was that picture just to tease?

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so Ryan Murphy and I are talking about doing a

Speaker 1 Tiger King show together. And that picture was sort of a makeup test.
And

Speaker 1 it just made me, that whole thing made me laugh. I loved everything about it.
I love the notion of me playing Tiger King. It's like Drew Peterson, frankly.
It's the same, it's in the same vibe.

Speaker 1 And, you know, a lot of times I don't get called on to do those kinds of things, but whenever I do, like behind the candelabra or whatever, I just love it. It's so like freeing.

Speaker 1 So Ryan and I are, we're working on it, but we're having some rights issues.

Speaker 1 There's so many different competing projects.

Speaker 3 Carol Baskins owns the zoo now. Yeah, but

Speaker 1 don't you think there's an element where you can't top something that is so, so ridiculous? Like that.

Speaker 1 the the documentary is so ridiculous that how are you going to

Speaker 1 get even bigger than that how are you going to get even like it's just so unbelievable that even I would imagine if you brought that script to a Hollywood exec they'd be like no this is you gotta tone it down a little bit

Speaker 1 yeah for sure and I think the the only way to do it is is to do

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 what was happening behind the scenes of what you saw happening So you could never regurgitate the big, amazing story beats.

Speaker 1 You'd have to have a different take on it, which is why I was talking to Ryan Murphy because Ryan has got such an interesting way of coming about stories.

Speaker 1 But I don't, my guess is where we are right now, it's not looking as very good because of the rights situation there.

Speaker 3 Damn it.

Speaker 1 But it would be fun.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you'd be very good, Joe Exotic. Yes.

Speaker 1 when you're playing i have a question wait i have a question i have a question for you guys yes um what did you think about the tiger woods tom brady the the whole golf i mean you've i mean i'm sure you've talked about it a billion times and i've probably just missed it but i was yeah so excited for it because i'm very much into golfing now um

Speaker 1 and i thought it was a train wreck You did? You didn't like it? Why?

Speaker 3 I kind of like the train wreck aspect of it, though.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing. I'm not a hate watcher.

Speaker 1 I don't like to hate watch things i just don't i don't i know that's a whole thing and people love it it's just not for me i don't know i'm probably not as evolved as as others but i was like okay it's south florida you know it's could rain

Speaker 1 how does tom brady's mic go out on the first hole how does How does it happen? So you didn't like...

Speaker 1 Okay, but in their defense, they had to have kind of a skeleton crew of technology. Like you saw it wasn't a ton of camera guys.
They had to reset a bunch, but that's fair.

Speaker 1 That's a fair assessment to start. But what then?

Speaker 1 Then I was like, then another one, and look, I know I'm going to sound like the nitpickiest, nitty, nitty-picker man, but like, okay, so they're teeing off, and all of the balls

Speaker 1 land, you know, wherever they land in the fairway. You kind of know, there's always that landing area.

Speaker 1 You know, they're going to, and there's like a golf cart parked there with like craft service on it. I'm like, what the fuck? Is no one paying attention? Is anyone directing this?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think it was

Speaker 3 interesting to watch like superstar athletes like Tom Brady suck at something.

Speaker 3 I think a lot of people enjoyed watching Tom Brady really stink it up for the first few holes, and it kind of made him a little bit more relatable.

Speaker 3 And when they missed that high five, when Brady hit that putt, and they went up for the high five, and then it was so awkward.

Speaker 3 But in their defense, it was probably a more well-executed high-five than anything you see between golfers normally.

Speaker 3 But I just liked all the weird stuff that was happening over the course of the show, and it was just good to watch something at the same time as everybody else in America was watching something on TV.

Speaker 1 I that part, I'm totally down.

Speaker 1 I couldn't agree with you more. But the other thing is, I wanted to, as much as I love seeing Tom flounder,

Speaker 1 just because it, as you said, it humanizes him, and all I do is flounder on a golf course. I was like, oh, yeah, I have that shot, that shank, that hook.
Um,

Speaker 1 I would have liked to have seen it under

Speaker 1 better.

Speaker 1 I just didn't love the way it was produced,

Speaker 1 but I wanted to love it more. I guess my expectations were really, really high.
Really high.

Speaker 3 I think maybe if it had been set in California, that would have been perfect because in South Florida, it's going to rain the entire time in the spring and early summer.

Speaker 1 You should take

Speaker 1 and I want to hear, I mean, you know, Peyton, who's a friend and who's just the best, and he gets, no one gets it like Peyton. He knows,

Speaker 1 He knows what people want Peyton Manning to be and is.

Speaker 1 He was genius on it. Funny.
You could feel him taking control of the broadcast actually because

Speaker 1 his instincts are so good. I think he was like, uh-oh, this is kind of a train wreck.
So he'd be in the cart talking into the camera and sort of narrating. And that part was great.

Speaker 1 I was surprised that the other guys were

Speaker 1 sort of

Speaker 1 seeded their sort of entertainment value, particularly when the play had gone so shitty. You'd think that at least they would go, well, let's at least entertain people.

Speaker 3 So, you are the Peyton Manning whisperer. You broke news about Peyton Manning in the past.
You're good friends with him. Is he going to go into television?

Speaker 3 Is he going to get in the Monday Night Football booth?

Speaker 1 Didn't they offer him all that stuff and he turned it down? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know better than I would.

Speaker 1 Well, I know, and I don't know anything personally. I just know what I read.
I read that they offered him

Speaker 1 the Monday Night Football booth. But here's the thing: is like,

Speaker 1 what exactly how much money did they offer him

Speaker 1 um they offered him

Speaker 1 that you read that you read

Speaker 1 i i that i don't remember but it was it was like you know on par with what they signed re-signed romo to do huh who's obviously now the highest paid interesting

Speaker 1 and what did you what did the what did the newspaper and the media say why he didn't do it that you read not that you know but that you read here's the here's my i have an opinion on it oh okay we'll do that route okay so

Speaker 1 pretend it's an opinion, not a fact that Peyton told you. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 1 And by the way,

Speaker 1 we actually have never, ever, ever discussed it. Of course not.

Speaker 1 Rob just winked at me.

Speaker 1 I did not.

Speaker 1 You're trying to. See, this is what I need to learn as a host.

Speaker 1 You are going to back me in to clickbait. Yes.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 and then we get you to say something about Peyton Manning, and then we get Peyton Manning on the show to refute what you said.

Speaker 1 And then, Rob, then you have us on your podcast so that we we can tell the story behind it and we can clear your good name we've been doing this for a while as you said and it's an ecosystem you guys you guys know what's going on um as as peyton always says i can't believe my career uh uh insider stuff is being broken by soda pop curtis

Speaker 1 so what's your opinion on it here's my opinion

Speaker 1 I grew up, as we all did, with Monday Night Football. It was an event.

Speaker 1 Everything stopped. I had people over.

Speaker 1 Everything rotated around it. Granted, the world is different.
There's more outlets. There's, you know, all of that.
But the reason that this football night in America, which is genius,

Speaker 1 is so great is because for whatever reason, they've let Monday Night Football go to the dogs. And it's been that way for at least

Speaker 1 five, six, seven seasons.

Speaker 1 They don't have the cameras. They don't have the coverage.

Speaker 1 There's no sense of

Speaker 1 here's the real issue. There's no sense of occasion.

Speaker 1 They're literally telling you, this is Monday and this is football, but you feel like you're watching a game that could be on any day, anywhere, of any consequence, and it's a disaster.

Speaker 1 So the real question is, are they going to make Monday night football into something more than an afterthought?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think that what you're saying goes back to to the NFL's relationship with NBC as opposed to their relationship with ESPN for like the last 10 years.

Speaker 3 So they've ESPN and the NFL have kind of been butting heads silently, a little bit behind the scenes.

Speaker 3 There's more, you know, there's the new streaming rights that are going to come up soon, the new TV package deal that's going to come up soon.

Speaker 3 So I think that the NFL has been intentionally not giving ESPN the very best games and leaving that flex option open for Sunday night. So even if it looks like it might be a bad game, they can fix it.

Speaker 3 So yes, Sunday night football has seemed like a bigger deal for sure. I agree with you on that.

Speaker 1 And it's look, and it's not just the games, although it is the games. It's

Speaker 1 again,

Speaker 1 it's my same issue with the Tiger Woods golf thing. It's the production.
It's the quality of the announcers.

Speaker 1 It's the Razmataz. It's the open.
It's the, do they have enough slow-mo cameras? You know, all of that stuff. And it just feels like it's a, literally like an ESPN2 game.
That's what it feels like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Um, all right, so who do you have you already taped some of your podcasts? We're gonna air this right before, so who, who is going to be on?

Speaker 1 Um, our first two guests are Magic Johnson, who I've known forever. Um, and and I was actually banned from Traveling on the Road with the Lakers by Pat Riley.
Whoa,

Speaker 1 yeah, wow, and uh, we'll

Speaker 1 well, don't you think you have have to get the podcast in the middle? When is it coming out? When is it coming out?

Speaker 1 June 25th? Yeah, June 25th. Is that what? A Monday?

Speaker 1 Yes, that's a Monday. So you got Magic Johnson and Chris Pratt.

Speaker 1 We're debating who, we don't know which one we're going to air first yet. No, that's Thursday.
June 25th is Thursday. Okay, good, good.

Speaker 3 So it's not going up against it. Tell us just a little bit about cards.
You gambled too much with them? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What were you doing?

Speaker 1 Were you like an

Speaker 1 early day Alex Guerrero and you were trying to feed Magic Johnson with all kinds of junk science on how he could elongate his career?

Speaker 3 Hey, Magic, rub this cobalt all over your face.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 It was cobalt.

Speaker 1 No, look, I just think I was a distraction. I mean, you have to understand I was

Speaker 1 22, three years old and a teen idol, and got followed wherever I went by, you know, crazy chicks. And

Speaker 1 the lobbies were packed with all that stuff. And, you know, Riley didn't, Riley did not want the distraction.
I mean, I think maybe

Speaker 3 a fair question would be, why was Rob Lowe riding the Lakers team bus all the time to begin with? It was Rob Lowe.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I was

Speaker 1 a massive, massive, massive, massive Lakers fan and always wanted to go on the road when they were playing, you know, Detroit or Boston, you know, because those were such hell holes and so tough for the Lakers.

Speaker 1 And, you know, that was, that was my, that was my thing. I was either making movies

Speaker 1 or I was, you know, following my favorite sports teams.

Speaker 1 Do you ever close your eyes or like dream about like, or just even think, daydream about the Brat Pack days and be like, man, that was fucking awesome? Oh, for sure. I mean,

Speaker 1 it was,

Speaker 1 well, because my kids now are the same age I was. Well, actually, my kids are older now than I was during the Brat Pack era.
And I do look back on it and go, wait a minute,

Speaker 1 how the hell did I even survive it? Right. Because, you know, it was, I look at my own kids and their development and they're, look, they're smart kids and they're, you know, they're accomplished.

Speaker 1 They've graduated from big, fancy schools and they're smart as shit. But I wouldn't place them with that kind of temptation and

Speaker 1 insanity that you live through.

Speaker 1 And very, you know it's not it doesn't happen to everybody but like when you're that guy for that moment it is very very crazy but it's also really fun yeah was there were there any clubs in los angeles that you were not allowed to get into in those days

Speaker 1 no they liked me in the clubs oh they liked me in the clubs you kidding um

Speaker 1 that was i was i was i was uh i was good for business yeah so so the lakers bus was the only place that rob low was like persona non-growth it was no the hotel it was the hotel Okay, I have one question about Magic that I need an answer to.

Speaker 1 Do you have any idea how he crafts his tweets? I have a feeling that he doesn't actually physically tweet it. He just texts his thoughts to someone who then tweets it.
But you know him well.

Speaker 1 Do you have any idea how the sausage gets made?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm going to ask him. The good news is...

Speaker 1 You want to call him?

Speaker 1 I'm going to call him. I'm going to ask him.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 we could call him right now. Just face it.
Call him, but

Speaker 1 my phone got taken away so it wouldn't go off during this podcast

Speaker 1 okay but look

Speaker 1 if your phone goes off we'll just call him but oh look i'm i'm writing right now magic tweets now i'm giving you ideas for you now you're going to cast and i would rather i love it i'm going to have you'd rather you can you do yeah

Speaker 1 come on but but can i want you guys to to do my my briefing prep because you're clearly better at it than i am i would never have asked that so you haven't interviewed him yet no magic is uh i'm interviewing him uh in three days Damn it.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 You're not allowed to use that question, though.

Speaker 1 Well, no, call him and ask him to make sure, reconfirm that you're going to, he's set for three days from now. And then also be like, how do you tweet?

Speaker 1 How about this?

Speaker 1 I will

Speaker 1 text you or tweet at you. Okay.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 And give you the answer. That's fine.
That works. Yeah.
That works. That works.
I think a lot of people

Speaker 1 don't physically tweet. I really do.
I think a lot of people

Speaker 1 just have people who just say, hey, why don't you tweet this out? Right. But I'll find out.
Yes, okay, perfect.

Speaker 1 And then that will be a great seamless plug that we have the actual, hey, Rob Lowe, talk to Magic Johnson for more with Rob Lowe and Magic Johnson. Tune in on Thursday.
It's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Which Lakers superstar went partying with Rob Lowe and then went 0 for 32 in the finals?

Speaker 1 Tune in on June 25th to find out.

Speaker 1 Was it James? Or you could just run the stats.

Speaker 1 Yeah, was it James Worthy? You could run the stats.

Speaker 3 I feel like it was

Speaker 3 mustache. Old mustache man.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to comment no matter what you say. Pal Gasol.

Speaker 1 I've got to think of the era. 0.32.
0 for 32. No, this is the problem.
This is how you're going to get me because you're smart.

Speaker 3 0 for 32. Because you know how to Google.

Speaker 1 It probably was the finals against the Bulls because they got four, you know, lost 4-1. Hold on.

Speaker 3 Oh, wait, no, but that was a little past your time, maybe,

Speaker 1 in terms of when you were partying with them.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 3 I'm not finding it on Google right now.

Speaker 1 Shoot. Thank God.

Speaker 1 Ah. Alright, well, no, tune in to find out.

Speaker 3 James Worthy.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not James Worthy.

Speaker 1 Not James Worthy.

Speaker 3 Who was it? Just tell us. Just tell us.

Speaker 1 Just tell us. Just tell us.
I know. I could tell you, but

Speaker 3 I think you're doing a good job making this this up, Rablo.

Speaker 1 That was actually an incredible thing to make up.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 By the way, it's absolutely a true story.

Speaker 1 I have a question for you. I heard Eric Roth on the podcast.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Is he going to write the Boner Dog movie or not? Like, what's happening? Yeah, are you in it?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think we've officially asked you. You've never asked me, but I'm so down.
I'm fucking there. Oh, you know what?

Speaker 1 We actually haven't casted the pubes yet. And since you dye your hair, and it's always beautiful.
There it is. You'd be perfect for the pubes.
I like that. Yeah.
So he is going to run.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a second.
It's animated.

Speaker 1 I need to run this like I run the rest of my career. I need to know who else, what other creative elements

Speaker 1 are involved. Okay.

Speaker 3 Like who is

Speaker 3 lending their voice?

Speaker 1 Who's attached? Yes.

Speaker 1 Actually attached.

Speaker 3 Adam Sandler.

Speaker 1 Wait, let's do actually attached. So we have attached a couple people that haven't actually been attached.
Adam's attached. Adam's attached.
Yeah. Zach Efron is attached.

Speaker 3 Great. Tofa Grace.

Speaker 1 Tofa Grace is attached.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Tetro is attached. David Spade? David Spade's attached.
Eric Roth is attached. Kevin Garnett is attached.

Speaker 3 Who else is attached? Who are we leaving out? Dan Patrick is attached.

Speaker 1 Dan Patrick is attached. We're attached.

Speaker 3 I think that's really.

Speaker 1 Have you ever heard of Matthew Lowe? upcoming

Speaker 1 actor?

Speaker 3 Hat designer?

Speaker 1 Hat designer? He's attached to

Speaker 1 it. Yep.
He's attached. I just know that this is the only way I'm going to get Eric Roth to write dialogue for me.
Yes. Yes.
He'll do it.

Speaker 3 And it's actually a little bit more complicated because he's going to write the script and he's going to hide it somewhere and then leave us clues. So we have to find the script that he wrote.

Speaker 3 But I feel like we're clever enough to find it. And it's going to be an animated film.
It's going to shoot.

Speaker 3 We're going to tape all the voiceovers on the same island that they did Firefest on.

Speaker 1 Let's go. This sounds like the greatest movie ever made.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have one last question. I just popped my head.
Tune in Rob Lowe with Magic Johnson. You got to run him first now.
You realize that because we've hyped it up enough.

Speaker 1 That's the plan. Though listen, the plan is absolutely to run

Speaker 1 Magic first. Is there? Although I'm going to have to break the news to Chris Pratt.
Yeah. And he won't be happy.
He'll be okay.

Speaker 1 But is there any part of interviewing Magic you get a little nervous that he might just black out for a second and think you're Rob Palinka and be like, fuck this

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. That's a thing.
See, I'm so glad I did this.

Speaker 4 Ask that.

Speaker 1 You maybe say a Rob Palenka quote. Like, do Rob Palenka's press conference where he blamed Magic for everything and see like the visceral reaction that Magic gives you.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, so before the season got canceled, the Lakers,

Speaker 1 they do a thing for their longtime season ticket holders at the practice facility.

Speaker 1 And Jeannie Buss, who, again, I've known all of this the laker family forever asked me to do this bit so we did this bit where she came out and she said listen this is what we're thinking for this year and rob's got a lot of plans for the for the team and wants to talk to you about some of the players and rob's really got a vision and blah blah blah and i came out as as polinka and and talked about the team and people people did not understand what the fuck we were trying to do but it was fun not not good enough sports fans because i get it i love it i love it um all right well i'm excited for this podcast i think you're gonna to be great at it.

Speaker 1 You have our stamp of approval.

Speaker 3 Our blessing. Not that you needed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You have it.
You have it now. I want it.
Yeah. You can put it in the description.
We'll actually leave a five-star review for you.

Speaker 1 Please. I assume you can get it everywhere.
Like that goes without saying Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, anywhere you get your podcast. I love it.
So check it out.

Speaker 1 It is coming out June 25th. Rob Lowe, his first interview is going to be with Magic Johnson, and it is called Literally with Rob Lowe.
Literally with Rob Lowe. Love it.
Literally. Literally.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you, Rob.
Who's the guy? Who's the guy? I just literally, while we were talking, I scrolled through every NBA Finals. I couldn't find it.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I feel good saying it because he went over 30. Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 I have to walk a very far.

Speaker 1 They lost the finals.

Speaker 3 People are going to find out who it is, though.

Speaker 1 They lost the finals that year?

Speaker 1 I believe they,

Speaker 1 you know, honestly, I don't. Because

Speaker 1 the fucking 80s were awesome. Because the 80s were awesome.
I don't remember.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to put that in. Fuck it.
All right. Thanks so much, man.

Speaker 1 Thanks, guys. You're the best.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper 12 irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends irish exit a party without a story to tell original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt aged four years in bourbon barrels mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger in the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter try proper irish apple a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 3 Actually, using that roller stuff with the freeze, it just made me think back to when I used to use Icy Hot. You just feel like more of an athlete when you smell a little bit like menthol.

Speaker 3 And I think that that also had something to do with it. It just gets you in the zone.

Speaker 1 I was just thinking this. This popped in my head.
What would be the funniest statue that gets thrown into a river? The Jaguar statue that the kid got his head stuck in?

Speaker 3 That would be a very funny one.

Speaker 3 The Ted Williams statue where he's like taking a kid's, he's stealing a child's ball cap.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Walt Disney.

Speaker 3 Walt Disney.

Speaker 3 I was saying that I said this as a joke last week, but I thought that Dan Snyder was going to build a statue to George Marshall just so he could take that down and have that be like a big win for him.

Speaker 3 Turns out there was actually a statue of George Marshall that got taken down over the weekend. Got it.

Speaker 1 So I'm trying to think. We got to find...

Speaker 3 We got to find the statue that like oh, the Cristiano Ronaldo statue. Yeah.
The one where he looks like.

Speaker 1 Ronaldo should have his people take it down and be like, yeah, it's because we're canceling him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, because of the things he's been accused of. But the one where he looks like

Speaker 3 an emaciated seagull.

Speaker 3 Let's take down that statue.

Speaker 1 You know who could actually have pulled down? Paul Bunyan. Paul Bunyan.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Why?

Speaker 1 Logging. Logging true.
Good point. Good point.

Speaker 1 All right. We got a stay woke, and then we're going to do some Mount Rushmore.
PFT, you have a Stay Woke?

Speaker 3 The Robert Griffin statue. Yes.
Yeah, he advertises for Subway. So did Jared.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 Pull that thing down in Waco. Yep.
So, yeah, we're doing Mount Flushmore right now, or are we doing Stay Woke? No, doing your Stay Woke. Okay, Stay Woke.

Speaker 3 This comes to us from Kyle Kuzma.

Speaker 3 So we talked last week on the show about how the NBA was going to give their players rings to monitor whether or not they were becoming symptomatic for the COVID virus.

Speaker 3 Kyle Kuzma thinks that the rings are actually just tracking devices to keep tabs in their locations at all points.

Speaker 1 Aren't they? Like, isn't that.

Speaker 3 Aren't they admitting that? I think they are.

Speaker 3 I think the rings do have some sort of GPS on them.

Speaker 1 When you're so woke that

Speaker 1 you're just maybe reading the manual to the ring. Yeah.
Like, they, of course, it's a tracking ring.

Speaker 1 They take all of your vital signs. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I love the thought of maybe Brian Winhorse just having like some, he's in a van, like it's a heist.

Speaker 3 He's got this giant monitor pulled up where he's just keeping track of all the dots from the players and who's hanging. This guy's too close to LeBron.

Speaker 1 Is it titanium rings? Because someone was tweeting at me saying that if they do

Speaker 1 get hurt, you can't cut that off.

Speaker 3 You can't cut their finger off?

Speaker 1 You can't cut titanium.

Speaker 3 Oh, shit. So if they break

Speaker 1 the ring, yeah, and it swells. You can't with diamond.

Speaker 1 Diamond cuts everything. Diamond cuts titanium? Yeah, it's like

Speaker 1 rock paper says a shoot. So a diamond cuts titanium.

Speaker 3 So who is the big diamond knife salesman that stands to gain?

Speaker 1 I think we just

Speaker 1 wrote Uncut Gems 2.

Speaker 1 He's not actually dead.

Speaker 1 Sorry if you haven't seen it.

Speaker 3 Shit.

Speaker 3 You got to smash the ring with Kevin Garnett's medallion.

Speaker 3 I like that. But it did make me stay a little bit woke.
You remember that picture of LeBron James staying at the end of the bench, far away from his teammates? Yep.

Speaker 3 You know, how all of last year he tried to trade away all the players that were next to him?

Speaker 3 Knowing what we know now about LeBron James's financial ties to the Chinese government, do you think he got tipped off ahead of time and was like, hey, I got to stay. I got to

Speaker 3 stay away from people so much that I'm going to try to send them all to New Orleans.

Speaker 1 That's why he sat out the entire end of the season? Yeah. Okay, that's too...
Yeah, that's too much. That's too much for your brain.
Just think about it. All right, let's do our Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore, a stadium pump-up songs. This is a good Mount Rushmore, Hank.

Speaker 4 Just stadium songs.

Speaker 1 Stadium songs. But do they get you pumped up?

Speaker 3 There's different situations.

Speaker 1 Okay, I don't know if that was so my pump.

Speaker 3 Yeah, now I'm eager to hear what Hank has to say.

Speaker 1 okay so Hank why don't you start and then we'll go PFT then me and then Billy will do his four Mount Rushmore lifts at the end so just sit back like in my like I I just think of songs when you're in a stadium or watching a game whether it's like basketball hockey football when it comes on you get the most I guess pumped up but like excited happy whatever like okay

Speaker 1 nah nah nah nah nah hey hey goodbye when that song comes on it means your team is up it's a blowout Yeah, I guess I'll do it as my first one. Okay, that's a good one.
That's a good one.

Speaker 3 It's great when the other team takes the picture out.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 4 if that song comes on, you know you're winning and you're just celebrating, having a great time, taunting the opposite team together.

Speaker 1 It's always a good one. Okay, I like that one.
Probably wouldn't have been my first one, but

Speaker 4 it's not necessarily a pump-up song, so yeah.

Speaker 1 I said it.

Speaker 3 All right, my first one, I'm going to go with Sandstorm. Okay.
Sandstorm always gets the crowd bouncy.

Speaker 3 Man, what's the major college football program that you said? Is that USC, South Carolina? Virginia Tech.

Speaker 1 Virginia Tech.

Speaker 3 No, Virginia Tech does not. They do Inter Sandman.

Speaker 1 They do Internet Man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know who does.

Speaker 3 You should know what Virginia Tech uses, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 3 Because they get... Because I played them? Do they get really pumped up?

Speaker 1 But I have never played them at Virginia Tech.

Speaker 3 You never gone in their lane?

Speaker 1 I've never played them at Virginia Tech.

Speaker 3 Oh, U.S.

Speaker 1 South Carolina. Yeah, thanks.
There it is. There it is.
All right, my first one, I'll go with Who Let the Dogs Out. Always get pumped up.
Okay. Always get pumped up.
Sing along. Always get pumped up.

Speaker 1 And then my second one, I'll go with

Speaker 1 the zombie nation. The oh.

Speaker 1 Seven

Speaker 1 nation army. Seven nation army? Yeah.
What is that?

Speaker 3 White stripes.

Speaker 1 Is that what it is? Yeah. Is that the one I'm talking about? Zombie Nation.

Speaker 3 It shall henceforth be known as zombie nation. No, I think it's two different.

Speaker 1 Zombie Nation is different from 10. Yeah.
What's the zombie nation?

Speaker 4 Zombie Nation is like the Kencraft, like zombie.

Speaker 1 Alright, so I want the O

Speaker 1 one.

Speaker 3 You got Seven Nation Army. Okay.

Speaker 1 That one's good. I'm going away.
Wait, wait, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't.
I don't. I want the one that...
Wait, hold on. I got to find it in my head.
Yeah, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. Stop doing that.
Stop doing that.

Speaker 1 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Speaker 4 I know what you think. I don't think that's a song.
I think that's just a natural change.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the one I want. Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, oh, oh, oh,

Speaker 1 oh, oh. That's Zombie Nation.
That's zombie nation. That's zombie nation.
Yeah, okay, that's

Speaker 1 me down for that one.

Speaker 1 Okay. I knew I could find it.
There was no Billy thing. Okay.

Speaker 3 I'm taking Seven Nation Army. If that one's becoming available, that was my second pick, anyways.

Speaker 3 So, wait, did you do two?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did. Okay, yeah,

Speaker 1 oh, oh. Can I please do one? No.
No. All right.

Speaker 3 Seven Nation Army. I mean, we should give some respect to Seven Nation Army because you do not need even the song going.
Just the crowd can start chanting that, and everyone joins in.

Speaker 4 Is Billy going to do one of his lifts?

Speaker 1 No, he's going to do it at the end.

Speaker 4 All right, I'll go with Thunderstruck.

Speaker 3 Good choice.

Speaker 4 And I'll go with Victory, like Puff Daddy, Biggie.

Speaker 1 The one. One, two.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a great one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Inner Sandman.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go Inner Sandman. Inner Sandman's great.
The intro starts out nice and quiet. The perfect build.

Speaker 3 By the end of it, everyone's just coming in the stadium at the same time when the full song kicks in.

Speaker 3 So whether it's Virginia Tech playing it on a Thursday night night game in Blacksburg, that's pretty intense. And then obviously Mariana Rivera.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll go with

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Jungle, Guns N' Roses.

Speaker 1 And, yeah, that pumps you up. That pumps you up.
And then I'll go with the old classic, I have the tiger. Always get you pumped up.
Always get you going.

Speaker 1 I have some personal ones I'll do on the honorable mention.

Speaker 3 My last one, I'm going to go We Are the Champions. After you win a significant title, hearing We Are the Champions played in the arena is always great.

Speaker 3 What I love about We Are the Champions is that even opposing arenas will play it at the end of whether it's a seven-game series, if it's a Stanley Cup final, hypothetically, in Las Vegas, Nevada, and you win it on the road.

Speaker 4 I saw it last year in Boston when the Blues won.

Speaker 1 It's dunked.

Speaker 3 It stinks for the home crowd, but it's such a transcendental song that they're like, we have to show respect to Queen and Freddie Mercury and blast this.

Speaker 3 By the way, how much money has Queen and Freddie Mercury's estate hauled in over the years

Speaker 3 just from every time that gets played? A lot.

Speaker 1 We got gotta write a championship song um hank your last pick stop billy jump around i'm shocked i made it that far yeah i didn't want to do i mean that's the best i mean when that song comes on you have no choice but to get hyped yeah i thought it was too personal so i didn't want to go with the person i mean they don't just play it at wisconsin no i know but that's what you think of when you think of jump around i i actually

Speaker 1 think of it i think that's i think a lot of people think of that i think of boston first yeah yeah house of pain yeah i think uh like when you think of enter salmon you think of mariano rivera virginia Tech, there's definitely teams that have

Speaker 1 like specific teams.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's synonymous with it, but you should have picked it in your top four.

Speaker 1 Okay, sorry. Wow.
Okay, sorry.

Speaker 3 Wait, you guys do hang on, sloopy, sloopy, hang on, right?

Speaker 1 I'll get it. Ohio State does it.

Speaker 1 Oh, Ted Nugent's Stranglehold. The Blackhawks play that.
It's a fucking great pump-up song. I like to move it.

Speaker 1 I didn't know if the Bulls intro could be counted just because that's specific, but that one obviously is all-time pump-up.

Speaker 3 What else? Cotton Eye Joe, the dance remix of it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kyle Schwarber used to come into Thuggish Ruggish Bone, and that's a great walk-up song. That one gets you pumped up.

Speaker 3 Firestarter by Prodigy.

Speaker 1 Blur, song two. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anything else?

Speaker 1 The Outfield Your Love.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a great one. Okay.

Speaker 3 I got a punch. That's a song.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You're doing lifts. Iron Man.

Speaker 4 You're doing lifts.

Speaker 1 You're doing lifts. Hell's Bells.
You're doing lifts. Go ahead.
You're doing lifts. Okay.
Deep, heavy squats.

Speaker 1 Astagrass, like super anabolic. Just get your metabolism going.
Get your, like, it's the best way to start a workout and then like do something. Oh, that's your warm-up? No, no, no.

Speaker 3 No, just like, it's my first work set.

Speaker 1 I honestly, like, I almost want to do a max squat right now. Like, that, oh, got me super pumped up.
But yeah, it did. I'm so

Speaker 1 deep.

Speaker 1 Okay, now that killed my vibe.

Speaker 3 So, like, deep squats, and then, of course, Billy Fratball.

Speaker 1 Hammer curls. Dude, I'm not even a frat.
Frat guys are assholes. Go off, Billy.

Speaker 1 I don't even think that's big enough to do that. Dude, I went to a school with frats, and I was with my buddy, and we got jumped.
Like, you're all like,

Speaker 1 you fight 10 on like two, you assholes. I'm sure you did nothing wrong.
The frat was actually called beta. I'm actually going to call them out.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say where they are, but beta frat, you better get your boys.

Speaker 1 A bunch of alphas coming through.

Speaker 1 Billy definitely tried to steal their keg and all their girlfriends. It's like, dude, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Then bicep curls, another one, of course.

Speaker 3 Stay forward.

Speaker 1 Like, that's like a fun, like, you're lifting, like, having fun. It's a Friday, like, arm farm.
So, like, just hit bicep curls and just be an absolute douchebag.

Speaker 3 Billy, I don't like the fact that you put bicep curls in here.

Speaker 1 I know, but it's like a funny thing. I don't.
I don't.

Speaker 1 That's something that you should make fun of. Oh, we don't have a lift today? Like, let's go do bicep curls in the NARP gym.

Speaker 3 What's the matter? You can't do pull-ups?

Speaker 1 Do pull-ups?

Speaker 1 You can't do rolls. It was pretty anabolic.
Yeah, why don't you do something that's

Speaker 1 got throw bench on the shot? You got to go through. You got to throw a bench on there.
Yeah, I got to throw a bench. And then,

Speaker 1 let me think.

Speaker 1 Hmm. I mean, I was...
Pull-ups would be a good one, but...

Speaker 3 No, I just took pull-ups.

Speaker 1 I know. Let me think.
I mean, how do you afford that?

Speaker 1 I thought skull crushers. I'm going to put my last one skull crushers because those, like, hit the tries and the bottom.
It's insane.

Speaker 1 It's like when you get a sick pump, like, dude, it's like there's no, I like, I don't even like to work out.

Speaker 3 You hit your buys when you do skull crushers.

Speaker 1 I just like to get the good pump. I just like I'm addicted to the pump.
Have you watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger where he's just coming? He's coming. I'm coming.
I'm coming every day.

Speaker 1 I'm coming all day.

Speaker 3 He used to do bicep curls until he passed out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the blood rushes to your like so much, like that's what happens.

Speaker 3 It's awesome.

Speaker 1 I, it's like, there's no better high than just having a sick pump. Like, this is like,

Speaker 1 I feel you agree, dude. I don't work out, but I agree.
Just like. That pump is like nothing better.
Dude, I might just start benching.

Speaker 3 What about deadlifts?

Speaker 1 I don't like deadlifts.

Speaker 1 My torso is too long, so I always slip discs. It sucks.
Yeah. So I can't deadlift.

Speaker 3 You're also kind of fat now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, that proven point.

Speaker 1 I work out. Okay, you know what? A lot of people have a lot worse problems.
That's why we put you on the whoop.

Speaker 1 But, like, when you take a college football player who's doing workouts every week, four times a week, and then you just say, okay, no more, and then he has to like deal with the diet he was eating, this is what happens.

Speaker 3 Thoughts and prayers, baby.

Speaker 3 That sounds very difficult for you. I know.

Speaker 1 A lot of people have way more problems. But like, I got fat because of Corona.

Speaker 3 The worst part about this virus that's killed 110,000 people is that I'm not getting full. My gains have somewhat blacked.

Speaker 1 My strength has gone up because I don't run.

Speaker 1 I just lift. Okay, never mind.
It's too much about me. No, no, this is good.

Speaker 1 You don't have anything else.

Speaker 3 I just eat too much.

Speaker 1 That's why they put me on.

Speaker 4 Don't go just kings.

Speaker 1 You can chirp me on Twitter if I'm not working out.

Speaker 3 The only thing I have a problem with with squats is that if you post a video of your squat online, your form is never good enough for the common sense.

Speaker 3 I bet I could do one right now that's perfect form, and no one will chirp me.

Speaker 1 I guarantee you. We'll do that.
We'll put it after.

Speaker 3 I'll take Billy's squat performance.

Speaker 1 All right, we do actually have one last thing. We have Phil Muschnick's article from the

Speaker 1 New York Post the other day where he's out against vulgarity.

Speaker 1 So I'm so excited that we have this because you have to wonder, we're just talking about Billy getting fat, like the side effects of the pandemic.

Speaker 1 One of them being old white baseball riders have no outlet to get mad. Well, here's where they're at.

Speaker 1 So this feels good that we can get the, you know, the anger up on something so trivial and stupid like using the F-word.

Speaker 3 I'm kind of glad that Phil Mushnik has to go through this period with no sports because, like, getting his mind applied to the real ills of our society is what we've been waiting for.

Speaker 1 So, here's the title: Mets Pete Alonzo, part of sports growing vulgarity problem.

Speaker 1 I didn't know it was a problem, I didn't know it was growing, but here we are. All right, some wrongs are not difficult to right, as my friend Mark Morley says, it's not rocket surgery.

Speaker 1 Okay, yes, Mark Morley sounds hilarious, yet, and for no good reasons, we uh we sink lower every day by pathetic design.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, the modern marketing and TV content rationale has become, it's no worse than this or it's no worse than that.

Speaker 3 What? Okay. Where's he going?

Speaker 1 I'm very confused. But this is, this man.

Speaker 3 What is the modern TV market getting worse than this, worse than that even better?

Speaker 1 I don't know. All right.
But what is it even better than? Yes, we're wondering. For example,

Speaker 1 you know what this sounds like?

Speaker 3 This sounds like somebody texted Phil and was like, hey, Phil, just start a sentence off with the modern profanity crisis in sports and then let autocomplete finish the rest of your column just by clicking the thing that is being suggested to you on your phone.

Speaker 1 He is writing something like, This would be what would happen if we told Billy he needs to have a column within 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 You just throw this out there, just asking weird questions, you know, asking yourself questions. All right, so, but what is it even better than?

Speaker 1 For example, the Mets and MLB seem to have no problem with the team's traditional marketing slogan, let's go, Mets. Having added a vulgarity.

Speaker 1 Gasp. Now, cued by young Pete Alonzo, it's LFGM.

Speaker 3 Let's freaking go. Let's freaking go, Mets.
And this was really started by Tom Brady with his constant LFG.

Speaker 1 I can't believe professional athletes swear. So if he knows the F-word is so vulgar and inappropriate that it must hide behind its initial, why use it? Why not instead lose it? I like that.

Speaker 1 Like either, I actually kind of agree with that. Either fucking say it or don't.

Speaker 3 So have the shirts that the Mets are saying,

Speaker 1 let's fucking go, Mets. Yeah, I'm actually with Phil.

Speaker 3 They would sell way more of those.

Speaker 1 Bro, you got to either own it or not. Don't give me that F.
Go all the way.

Speaker 1 To emphasize anything, it now seems as if you have to add or throw in the F word. Those spray paint-armed quote-unquote protesters, that means Phil doesn't really think they're protesting.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, George Soros bus ticket holders is what Phil is saying.

Speaker 1 Desecrated the outside of St. Patrick's Cathedral after all.
Couldn't stop with BLM. They stopped it with a large F, and then he had dot, dot, K.

Speaker 3 Frick. So it said on the church, like BLFM?

Speaker 1 No, it said BLM, and then somewhere else it also said fuck. I love that out.

Speaker 3 I love that Phil is rightfully focusing in on the most important part of the Black Lives Matter movement, which is.

Speaker 1 Listen, I was with Black Lives Matter, and then they used the FGG.

Speaker 3 Until they dropped some vulgarity.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't know if I understand their message.

Speaker 1 I guess that word is to prove you really, really mean it or really, really care. Or it's just fun to say, Phil, fuck you, dude.
That was fun.

Speaker 3 Also, Phil, he's writing the like LFGM in this article, right? Right. Is he ever saying fuck in there?

Speaker 3 Or is he just by writing this article, Phil Mustick has made probably hundreds of thousands of Americans think about about the word fuck.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 It sounds to me like Phil's part of the problem.

Speaker 1 He's absolutely part of the problem. All right, here we go.
We got some drama with the Mets pick. First pick.
Pete Crowe Armstrong, the Mets' first pick, has already joined the movement.

Speaker 1 He tweeted LFGM. LFGM t-shirts, hoodies, coffee mugs, bumper stickers, and even virus masks are now for sale.
Reminds me of when the NFL sold framed photos of Marshawn Lynch grabbing his crotch. Damn.

Speaker 1 That's not that. Now that

Speaker 1 is. Phil just got over that.

Speaker 3 Phil's got, he has like a filing cabinet of grievances he's had in the past that he needs to bring into the modern day.

Speaker 3 Like the Marshawn Lynch thing, he probably is still mad about the Randy Moss fake mooning incident.

Speaker 3 If you ask me if there's one four-letter word that needs to be gotten rid of in order to cleanse people's eyes and ears in the world of sports, it would be Mets. Yes.
Not fuck. Mets.

Speaker 1 Again, it's not rocket surgery. The Mets, MLB, and Alonzo's and Crow Armstrong's agents can't ask them to cut it out.
Question mark. Or is it protected under the collective bargaining agreement?

Speaker 1 Now, you know it's not. You know it's not, Phil.
What would a reasonable response be to please, for the sake of common public decency, stop? Waterboarding? Well, no, he answered himself.

Speaker 1 Go F yourself?

Speaker 3 Yes, that absolutely would be a response.

Speaker 1 Alonzo can't do better. By the time he retired, Cece Sabathia, a proud family man, oh no, this is going to take a turn, seemed unable to speak a sentence without including a string of vulgarities.

Speaker 1 I love that he added proud family man. Rob Geronkowski must have negotiated his patriot contracts to include bonuses for cursing and speaking sexual crudities during TV interviews.

Speaker 1 Phil does not like the 69 jokes. Will do.

Speaker 1 This guy is awesome.

Speaker 3 Wasn't Gronk's like brother his agent at some point? Because I could see that being written into his comments.

Speaker 1 I love this. Phil needs to exist.
We need these people to continue to exist. Weekday Boomer Siasin, apparently,

Speaker 1 what he just missed a word here. Weekday Boomer Siason.

Speaker 3 Is that like saying a Monday morning quarterback?

Speaker 3 Like a weekday boomer Siasin is a second-rate morning show DJ?

Speaker 1 Weekday Boomer Siasin apparently thinks that crudity

Speaker 1 is the key to radio rating success. Showtime paired two of the NBA's all-time worst acts, Matt Barnes and Steven Jackson.
I'm shocked Phil's not a fan of those guys.

Speaker 1 For no other apparent reason than they're fucking awesome. Awesome.
Who doesn't like that? Fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 For no apparent reason, then they had earned very bad reputations, and they often said, mother effer and the N-word on air. What's the upside for now and later? We grow coarser.
That's a good thing.

Speaker 1 Freedom of expression is supposed to leave us all lower. Would Alonzo teach the kids in his life to speak vulgarities? He can't do any better.
Dad, what does the F stand for?

Speaker 1 Go ask Uncle Rob manford he said kids are mlb's top priority

Speaker 1 yeah yeah there you go think of think of the children what a fucking column yeah how how will somebody explain to what my to my child what the f stands for that's kind of your job as a parent mlb has a problem trying to grow the game to younger kids and that problem starts with lfgm

Speaker 3 yeah i every player should talk like philip rivers and then it the world would be a much better place i like this guy Phil.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking idiot. And I really like, I really mean the fucking part.
It would be a shame if people said fuck to him.

Speaker 3 Fucking idiot, Phil.

Speaker 3 Mushnik. Mushnick.
Mushnick. Mushnick.
Yeah. Yeah, he's a legend.
Every time I see his column pop up online, it's always for the same reason, which is this column sucks ass.

Speaker 1 But you know what? He's out there doing it.

Speaker 1 The world needs this guy. Otherwise, we have way too many people that just make sense.

Speaker 3 You're right. I agree with that 100%.
Like, we need shitty columnists. Shitty columnists make sports more fun while they're trying to make it less fun.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly. So, all right.
Thank you, Phil. That is our show.
We will see everyone Wednesday.

Speaker 1 Anything else? Anything else? Anything else? I had a six-pack in December. No, you didn't.
I did. No chance.

Speaker 1 Show me a picture. I will.
Show it. Right now? You're going to squat right now, too.
Oh, okay. All right.
See everyone Wednesday. Love you guys.