Falcons QB Matt Ryan, We Get Mad At A List, And Guys On Chicks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 1 And Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day.
Yeah, give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

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Speed slow under 35 gigabytes.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have NFL MVP Matt Ryan, starting quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons. Awesome interview.
Awesome, awesome interview.

Speaker 1 He also said some great headline grabs towards the end about the NFC South and the Falcons this next upcoming season. We have Guys on Chicks, we have Hot Seat Cool Throne, and guess what?

Speaker 1 We're going to get mad about a list. Nothing better than getting really fucking mad about a list.
And before we do all that, I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of

Speaker 1 work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a low washing

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all on the song Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Elay Trick Avenue

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elay Trick Avenue

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app. Go download it right now.
Use code Barstool. You get $10 for free, totally for free.
$10 to ASPCA.

Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, June 24th, and baseball is back. But before we get to baseball, being back, our darling Jake is back.

Speaker 4 Congrats, Jake. You made it back.

Speaker 1 Jake Marsh is back.

Speaker 4 PMT Sports Biz on the couch right now. We're not doing the PMT Sports Biz minute today, are we?

Speaker 1 No, but we have finally our whole family back. Bubba, Hank, Jake Marsh, Billy, and then PFT and I, the two dads, the old heads in the room.
It's good to have the whole gang. We got the family.

Speaker 1 Six-man squad, the A-team,

Speaker 1 varying in all types of intellect, height,

Speaker 1 weight, face.

Speaker 1 He's fat now.

Speaker 1 No, don't talk. It's Jake's time.
Jake, welcome back.

Speaker 1 It's great to have you back. I have one question for you, Jake.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Where the fuck are you finding these terrible, terrible this day-in sports facts that you've been putting on the Pardon My Take account, which are hilarious, by the way?

Speaker 5 So taking through the typical day, you sign off from your stream at about 10.30, 11. I'll write a blog, take me to midnight, then I'll go in bed, put on my laptop, and just

Speaker 5 sometimes take 30 minutes to an hour just YouTubing random games. I'll find like a three-hour MLB game, and that's where I found that car turning right onto the street.

Speaker 1 I love the one that takes a while, though.

Speaker 4 That was the two fans enjoy Skyline Chili at a game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they stood up for the people to allow them to do it. They did.

Speaker 4 That's what made it pop.

Speaker 1 What was your personal favorite?

Speaker 5 The car one did the best in terms of numbers.

Speaker 1 What was the car one again? Tell us that one.

Speaker 5 It was Mariner's Red Sox in Seattle. And before the bottom of the first inning, the broadcast had some B-roll of a street, and a car turned right.

Speaker 5 But another couple of highlights were last week, we had some Little League baseball in San Diego, and the local news channel picked it up and credited part of my take as Big J's.

Speaker 5 And PFT's favorite, the spelling bee kid, getting eliminated in 13 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was great.

Speaker 4 That was so unfortunate to see that he followed the account and he was like, oh no, I did not expect to get roasted online today for this.

Speaker 1 I like the one with the rain delay, too. Like, after three hours waiting.
That was the first one. Yeah, after three hour wait, this game was rain delayed.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you caught this, Jake, but at the end of that San Diego news story, when they signed off, the female anchor ended by saying, very cool. Yes.

Speaker 1 I think that was unintentional, but. It's very cool to have you back, Jake.
Thank you. It's very cool to have you back.
So

Speaker 1 we have

Speaker 1 Matt Ryan coming up. We're not doing Dungeons and Dragons.
Just a reminder, today, I know it's every other week.

Speaker 1 Next Wednesday, we have an extra long hour, hour and a half Dungeons and Dragons. We're going to do some big-time Dungeons and Dragons next week.

Speaker 4 Is this dragon going to get fucked by Billy? That's the cliffhanger.

Speaker 1 We don't know what he's waiting on. We don't know.
So the lead story, besides Jake Marsh being back,

Speaker 1 baseball is back. Baseball is officially...
Going to be back. I think there's pending one last thing, like the players' safety.

Speaker 4 I'm not comfortable saying that it's officially back until it's officially back. Well, there's always a stumbling block.

Speaker 4 And this piece of the negotiating process is one that they've been going back and forth with a little bit. It's the health and safety aspect.

Speaker 1 But the players and the owners are finally on the same page. Like, everyone is on the same page.
60 games, camp starting July 1st, DH in both leagues.

Speaker 1 Kyle Schwarber, Theo Epstein, is a fucking genius. He knew that we were going to have a pandemic and then a 60-game season, and that's why he didn't trade Kyle Schwarber in 2016.
So it's exciting.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. Now we just have to get there because it feels like every other sport, like we're limping towards the NBA.
We're limping towards Hypothesis. Again,

Speaker 4 it's the boy that cried

Speaker 4 the boy that cried sport, the boy that cried Passan, the boy that cried Rosenthal at this point. I'm not going to believe it until I see players walk out onto a diamond.

Speaker 4 And at that point, I'm going to get excited. In fact, so New York just invented, or we entered phase two today.
Fuck yeah. It's phase two.
I love just referring to things in phases.

Speaker 1 Barbershops.

Speaker 4 I think baseball is now in phase 1.5 of the reopen process. We're waiting until we get to phase four.

Speaker 4 Actually, just break it down for me easier than than that. Just put it in quarters.
I'm a sports guy. Yep.

Speaker 4 I think right now America is in the second quarter of fighting COVID.

Speaker 1 So it's like when Lovey Smith used to always be like, the first four games is the first quarter of the season.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, shit, I get it. Yeah, that's how you break it down.

Speaker 4 So, like, just tell me when I can put my fours up later on this summer. That's all I need to know.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. It just, I feel like...

Speaker 1 I feel like maybe the new sport in America is just getting the announcement that sports are back because then we're never going to get it, but like these sports are never actually going to come back.

Speaker 1 But just the thrill of being like, ooh, NBA's back. Ooh, hockey's back.
Ooh, baseball's back. It's just great.
That kind of gets us a little bit closer to death. It's what's what we're all doing.

Speaker 1 We're just running out the clock.

Speaker 4 It's awesome to just think about the fact that maybe in a month there'll be sports on. That just makes it, it makes me feel warm in psycho.

Speaker 1 Or not. Like heroin.
Keep fucking going.

Speaker 1 The Joker. Oh, yeah.
Sports are back. Yeah.
I'm going to disavow from this. Joker.
I'm going to have to disavow from his.

Speaker 4 No vax.

Speaker 1 He went to

Speaker 1 although that party looked lit. It did look lit.

Speaker 1 I don't know how they had that much energy. I don't know either.
The audio was just them just fucking going ham.

Speaker 1 So, not only

Speaker 4 did Jokovich have it, but also

Speaker 4 Jokic. Jokic had it.

Speaker 1 And there's a picture from them a week ago, like, dapping up. So there's a chance.
I had this, I got a little too when I first saw it.

Speaker 1 I was like, Rudy Gobert, everyone blamed him for taking down the NBA.

Speaker 1 If another NBA outbreak comes, so I saw two Phoenix Suns players tested positive, like, and it all gets, what if it all leads back to Jokic? I mean, Jokovich. Jokovich.

Speaker 1 Well, then he might, then he'd be the goat again. Right?

Speaker 1 Like the super spreader goat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you're going to be an asshole and spread a virus to a bunch of people, might as well be the best. You don't see Federer doing that.
Right.

Speaker 1 Federer is probably sitting in his fucking comfy ass chair with his stupid logo, being like, ooh, I'm not going to spread it to anyone.

Speaker 4 Federer is like in the Alps somewhere. He's in an underground bunker.

Speaker 1 He's got a puffy white jelly. He looks so cool.

Speaker 4 And if you're going to spread the disease to somebody, like having the two most famous athletes from your country spread it to each other, that's a little feather in Serbia's cap.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I would say I regret

Speaker 1 saying

Speaker 1 that Jokovich is my goat when it's ultimately a sport I do not care about. I've only watched a handful of times in my life.

Speaker 1 I happened to get caught up in last year's Wimbledon, got caught up in the moment. Turns out I sided with an anti-vaxxer dickhead.
So, whoops.

Speaker 4 It happens sometimes.

Speaker 1 My bad. Hand up.
Yeah. Disavow.
Until he beats Federer again at Wimbledon next year, and then I'm back on the street.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because Federer is going to have a weak-ass immune system, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, Jaden, you're a tennis guy. Who's your goat? Goat Federer.
Yeah. Welcome to the club.
Even though Djokovic is going to pass him in majors? We'll see. Yeah.
We'll see. Okay.

Speaker 5 But if you want to root for Americans, too, there's John Isner, who's got a great sign of

Speaker 1 Pete Samperson. Tommy Paul.
Pete Samperson is fucking Jim Currier, the ginger crew. Pete Samperson in his chest hair that went on forever.
No Billy.

Speaker 4 Actually, you know what? I loved Michael Chang.

Speaker 4 Michael Chang was the absolute best watching him play. Just returning it.
He wasn't that great, but he would hunt down every single. He's the most frustrating player to play against.

Speaker 4 It's like playing against a golden retriever.

Speaker 1 Playing against Hank.

Speaker 4 Yeah, exactly. Playing defense.

Speaker 1 Yes. Speaking of which, Thursday,

Speaker 1 we're going to Doug's and then straight into Stool Stream. Stool stream, straight into Doug.
Stuel stream, straight into Dougs, which would be fantastic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we need to... Someone, Jake,

Speaker 1 after this, get my credit card. We're going to buy...
Can you buy a humane

Speaker 1 collar for a human? A shock collar? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, sure. Just get a taser.

Speaker 1 Oh, actually, no, there's the shock watch.

Speaker 1 Shock watch. Liam should get.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't need another thing on your wrist that you can lose. Okay.
So we're going to have to figure out something that we can shock you so you can't talk until you're ready to talk.

Speaker 4 How about this? How about we just give Jake a squirt gun and he just squirts Billy when he starts to talk about it?

Speaker 1 Oh, that would be good. Yeah.
Yeah. Like a cat.
Kitchenlla.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Cat trying to get on the kitchen table.

Speaker 1 Just spray air in your face. All I was going to say is.

Speaker 1 That worked. It worked.
It did work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So that's your Milan.
That's what we got. I mean, I guess we could...

Speaker 4 Shad Whisperer.

Speaker 1 We could touch on the

Speaker 1 big, there was big news, the Bubble Wallace news.

Speaker 1 Kind of a crazy story how it

Speaker 1 all unfolded. I still think that Bubble Wallace probably saw something.
I don't even know. Is it Bubba Wallace?

Speaker 4 From what I've read, Bubba Wallace didn't report it. Somebody has garaged it.

Speaker 4 It sucks.

Speaker 1 The thing that frustrates me more than anything is it basically is like everything is, we're in such a knee-jerk reaction society now now that like nothing can be hey let's just figure out what the actual truth is first and then jump to conclusions everyone picks their side and everyone fucking hand you know runs their fucking face into each other and nothing ever gets solved and everyone just decides i'm still thinking exactly this the problem is this is one of those side arguments that we talked about like it's just it's another thing for people to focus on instead of the actual issues and so now people are mad at one side for reporting online that a noose was found now people are mad at the other side for being like oh, you're not being sensitive enough.

Speaker 4 It's just,

Speaker 4 it's adjacent to the real problem that was talking about.

Speaker 1 That's for Bubble Wallace now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because he's the, because people are going to accuse him of like faking something, which he didn't, but it also wasn't exactly what, you know, has anybody else reported online fake news yet?

Speaker 4 Ooh. Very fake news.

Speaker 1 It's trending. It is? Oh, yeah, actually, it is trending.

Speaker 4 Okay. Yeah.
On your legal pad? No, I wrote it down.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, no, I swear to God.
It says right there. Fake news.
Fake news. Right under Rihanna.
No one should use that knot. No, I swear to God.
Yeah, Rihanna's trending. I don't know why.

Speaker 4 Rihanna's trending. Billy, are you saying that we...
Oh, you know why?

Speaker 1 Just don't use the knot.

Speaker 4 Cancel the knot, yeah.

Speaker 1 Cancel the whole knot. Like, why would you ever? How hot are the pictures?

Speaker 1 Check them out. Okay.

Speaker 1 Cancel the knot? There's so many better knots that can make loops.

Speaker 4 I think Billy. Yeah, so what Billy's saying is

Speaker 4 Billy's not getting into the meat of the argument. He's actually going at it very directly and saying it's a subpart not.

Speaker 1 It's a bad visual.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 4 go back to like, it's a bad knot. It's a bad knot.

Speaker 1 I think more people are. Better knots.

Speaker 4 Yeah, everyone can agree. Right.
There are better knots than that.

Speaker 1 right okay that's fair uh let's do our hot seat cool throne and then we got our interview with matt ryan coming up which is an awesome interview uh i was actually shocked that he answered some of our questions so he was he was a lot of fun to have on before we get to hot seat cool throne billy put that down all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with reese's and hershey's only one reese's peanut butter lover's protein bar is made with reese's peanut butter and only one hershey's Cookies and Cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.

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Speaker 1 Hank, hot seat, cool thrown. My hot seat, it pains me to do this, but PFT's narcass internet father pointed this out to me.
No. Tom Brady is on the hot seat.
Oh, Marlborough. I told you that Florio.

Speaker 1 It's Tom Brady on the hot seat. Tom Brady's on the hot seat.
Got it. And this was brought to my attention by Florio, Pro Football Talk, wrote an article.

Speaker 1 Despite the NFL PA advising that players should not work out together, Tom Brady led another Bucs workout this morning

Speaker 1 in a state where coronaviruses are spiking. He had nine players working out out together,

Speaker 1 and people are mad. And by people, I actually don't think anyone's mad.
No. Except for exclusively Mike Florian.
Well, he's not mad. He's just pointing it out.

Speaker 4 He's a rules guy. He's just reporting the news as it happens.
Now, I don't know. Were they wearing face masks?

Speaker 1 And two bugs players. The Katie Assistant coach have tested positive for Corona.

Speaker 1 And Tom Brady is, you know, he's getting a little old. I'm worried about it.

Speaker 4 So, Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 I also am curious to see how he's going to react to Matt Ryan's comments, which you will listen to in like 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 That's a good cliffhanger, Hank. Nice, Hank.
All right, what's your cool throne? My cool throne is Ninja and other big Mixer streamers. I'm sure you guys saw this news.

Speaker 1 This was like a this league of e-gaming.

Speaker 4 Getting that bag, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, so Mixer was like the, they came on the scene a few years ago and tried to like compete with Twitch. So they threw a shit.

Speaker 1 It's like the XFL coming at the NFL, but if they threw like $40 million at Joe, or whatever, an obscene amount of money at Joe Burrow to come play there, and then I guess like some of their internal people, there was some problematic stuff going on.

Speaker 1 So they basically shut down Mixer, got acquired by Facebook Gaming.

Speaker 1 So Ninja, who got paid like $50 million to go to Mixer, basically got out of his contract scot-free and can go back to Twitch and make as much money as he wants. That's a double dip? Good.
Double dip.

Speaker 1 And Facebook, I guess, offered him like $100 million to stick with Facebook Gaming, and he was like, no.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it's basically like if Joe Burrow got paid like $100 million for a 10-year XFL contract, played one year, like got some reps in, didn't get hurt, and then could just just go back to the NFL.

Speaker 4 So how much money do we think that he got, that Ninja got from Mixer?

Speaker 1 Ninja made $30 million from Mixer.

Speaker 4 Even after taxes, it's only like $16 million. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Good for him.

Speaker 1 As a gamer, I love to see it. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
There's a lot of this league stuff. I realize with gaming, it's very similar.

Speaker 1 You watch to watch quality gameplay, but then when the drama comes out in the offseason, it's that much more interesting.

Speaker 1 Are you worried at all that we're not going to be able to get you to come back to reality? I think when sports comes back, I'll be back.

Speaker 1 But I've had that thought in my head. Like, we've lost Hank.
No, when sports comes back, I'll be back. You think you can do that? Yeah.

Speaker 4 You're going to stop streaming, stop playing COD?

Speaker 1 No, we're just going to get that in the office. Right.
So you are, so we're not going to get you back. I'm committed to the Twitch.
We have subscribers. I like our Twitch community.

Speaker 1 I'm going to continue.

Speaker 1 I'm going to continue putting content out there for Twitch. But

Speaker 1 when sports come back, I will not be playing Call of Duty six hours a day. Like I said, that's a straight up.
I play video games every night, but I'm still here.

Speaker 1 There's nothing for me to do.

Speaker 1 My brain was devoted to being here and stool streams, but we can't be here. So

Speaker 1 I had no choice.

Speaker 4 How many streamers do you follow on Twitter right now?

Speaker 1 Probably like 15.

Speaker 4 Yeah, see, so here's where the timeline starts to work. It is brain.

Speaker 1 I do like watching random Twitches, and I'm not saying I'm going to keep playing video games. I'm just wondering, like, there's a...

Speaker 1 I think there are. I've picked up a new hobby during corner.
There's a community that's just gamers. Like,

Speaker 1 they don't come back into real society. Right.
But my job being in real society and tied directly to sports, when sports come back, I will come back to sports. Which, true, they may never.
Right.

Speaker 1 So it's like,

Speaker 1 it wasn't a choice for me to start playing video games.

Speaker 1 I just literally had nothing. I had nothing else to do.
And it's been impressive what you've done. So appreciate it.
You as well. But you pushed us.

Speaker 1 My other cool throne is Woge Bombs about NBA players testing positive Corona. That's going to be the news, I feel like, for the next week.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And it's probably going to be like they won't even tell the names.

Speaker 4 Has he updated it yet? Has anybody else come down with it?

Speaker 1 I saw two Phoenix Suns players. I haven't seen anything else.
And Jokic. Not Frank.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 Oh, he didn't say because it'd be a HIPAA violation like Shefty had. Interesting.

Speaker 1 Okay. Right.
So, yeah, that's my cool throne. All right.
PFT, your hot seat?

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Josh McCowan because there's a bigger anti-porn quarterback right now in the nfl than josh mccowan i will give you 32 guesses and you won't get it jameison it's ben rollsberger ben roethlisberger uh was given a speech this weekend and he said that when it comes to uh his personal shortcomings i've fallen as short as anybody i've been addicted to alcohol i've been addicted to pornography which makes me then not the best husband not the best father wow so ben roethlisberger he definitely was not addicted to porn when he's recovering from his dominant elbow surgery.

Speaker 1 Wait, so wait,

Speaker 1 this was genius by him.

Speaker 4 Of course, everything that he does is genius. Right.

Speaker 1 Be like, I'm not talking about my real past. I'm talking about my porn addiction.

Speaker 4 Yes, this is the Andro bottle in the locker for Mark Maguire that Rothesberg is bringing.

Speaker 1 I actually didn't think that Rothesberger.

Speaker 1 I have shortcomings, guys. Sometimes I love too much.

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 was surprised to learn that Ben Rothesberger knew how to access porn online. I thought he'd be like a big 58008 in a calculator, turn it upside down, and jack off.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. So, all right, that's funny that

Speaker 1 he's out there against porn.

Speaker 4 Yep, Big Ben was, he was addicted to pornography. That's how you know it's actually not a real addiction if somebody says, I was addicted to something.
Right.

Speaker 4 Because if you're addicted to something, you're still addicted. So breaking news, Ben Rothlessberger, his home screen.
No, his home screen is pornhub.com still.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 My other hot seat is Bears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw this.

Speaker 4 Aha Clinton Dix was taking a scooter down the street, and he came across, it looked like a black bear and her cub, and immediately ditched the scooter and sprinted the other direction.

Speaker 4 Incredible change of pace by him. It was a very funny video, though, because it's like how that's exactly how I think I would react if I saw a bear.

Speaker 4 But I know I'd be way too dumb to actually immediately sprint away and I'd get closer to it and try to get a picture of a picture.

Speaker 1 I'm a big dog. Yeah, I'd like to do it.
I'd like to try a big fucking rack.

Speaker 4 I'd absolutely try to get a picture for the Graham.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 And then everyone made jokes about the bears.

Speaker 4 Ah, Bears' Safety demonstrates.

Speaker 1 It's no longer Bears' Safety, but yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Second time escaping the Bears in as many years.

Speaker 1 So you made those jokes too?

Speaker 4 No, just right now. Okay.
I just made them.

Speaker 1 You had them in your head, and you're like, I don't want to tweet this because everyone else is.

Speaker 4 No, no, I didn't. But I could do, let's see, it's ha ha Clinton Dix.

Speaker 4 It's good to see a Clinton Dix avoiding predatory behavior for a change.

Speaker 1 Billy? Billy, you want to explain that one? He wasn't even listening. Black bears fight back.
Yep. Brown bears lay down.
No one was not listening. It was on his phone.
White bears say good night.

Speaker 1 But the original saying is black, fight back, brown lay down. Thanks for explaining PFT's joke.

Speaker 4 Good job explaining my joke.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
My hot seats is Twitter trending. My cool throne.
Oh, your cool throne. So you thought it was Bears.

Speaker 4 No, Bears are on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 What was your first hot seat?

Speaker 4 And there's two hot seats. Josh McCain.

Speaker 1 Two hot seats.

Speaker 1 PFT's hogging all the hot seats.

Speaker 4 Yeah, my cool throne is, I'm going to go with statues because America has set its sights on bigger things besides statues. We're looking at Mount

Speaker 4 now. People are talking about

Speaker 1 blowing up.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we bleep out Mount R.

Speaker 4 We're trying to blow it up. There's some people saying we should blow it up, which would be pretty fucking metal.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a Nick Cage movie.

Speaker 4 Kind of. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I read a tweet. I guarantee you,

Speaker 1 I have no idea if this is true or not, but I read a tweet that the original sculpture of Mount was supposed to do their whole body and just kind of was like, fuck that. They ran out of rocks.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine them naked? That's funny. They should.

Speaker 4 Behind the rock. Yeah, what if their asses are hanging out back?

Speaker 1 There is like a big vault behind it. Yes.
Yes, national treasure. Yes, yeah.
That's like a Nick Cage movie. That's what they should be doing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm trying to think who would go on my Mount

Speaker 4 of New Mount.

Speaker 1 Bleep it.

Speaker 4 It should be a running back if it's

Speaker 1 bleep that.

Speaker 4 Barry Sanders.

Speaker 1 Bleep that. All right.
My hot seat is just keep bleeping it. Just be liberal with the bleep.
My hot seat is Twitter trending. I'm done with Twitter trending.
I'm so fucking sick of Twitter trending.

Speaker 1 Rihanna's trending right now, Hank.

Speaker 1 Fake News is trending right now.

Speaker 1 Rihanna's trending trending for good reasons. It's okay to be racist is trending.
Drew Carey was trending. That's a K-pop thing.
They got that as well.

Speaker 1 Bill Simmons, Jimmy Kimmel, like, and I can never figure out for what reason. You just see someone trending and you're like, okay, are they dead? Are they canceled?

Speaker 1 Is it one of those random ones where everyone's just pretending that they're dead or canceled? And then the Denzel gift, I'm so sick of it.

Speaker 4 What about when Coach Dougs trends? Imagine how confused most of the internet feels at that point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but at least that's straightforward. I'm probably whooping someone's ass.

Speaker 4 So Drew Carey was was trending because there's a picture of a guy that looked like him.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Rihanna is trending because. Top picks.
No, I think it's because there are still no nudes of Rihanna out there.

Speaker 4 Rihanna should just always be trending because everybody should just furiously be searching her. Like, where are these nudes? I need to see Rihanna's nude.

Speaker 1 She's, I think she got an album that's close to coming out too. So people are on the ready for that, which I'm excited for.
But yeah, it's a mess.

Speaker 4 I don't even. You know what I like, though? I like when.

Speaker 1 Sheem to beat is trending. Why is he trending? I like when people add a dream.
Why is he

Speaker 1 legend? Did he die?

Speaker 4 I like when people add canceled party at the end of it. That way, at least I know why they're trending.

Speaker 1 I thought he was going to be such a sneaky. Why is he trending?

Speaker 4 What about the Doja Cat?

Speaker 4 Is she canceled still?

Speaker 4 I need to know.

Speaker 1 Mia Khalifa was trending because people were pretending she was dead.

Speaker 4 She gets into these little weird things. This is like a

Speaker 1 YSS.

Speaker 4 This is things every couple trends in.

Speaker 1 I hate the fucking Twitter. Fuck you, Twitter.
All right. My cool throne is the Mets.

Speaker 1 because I might be part of the ownership group that's going to buy it. I don't know.
My boss, A-Rod, and Mike Rapoli, who

Speaker 1 created body armor and Pirates Booty. Doesn't get enough credit for that, have been rumored to be buying the Mets.

Speaker 1 And I think this would be the only way that I'd be able to successfully fulfill my life's goal of just being a clubhouse guy. Yeah, working.

Speaker 4 Being a guy around. If you're the right-hand man of the owner.
Right. Assistant to the owner of the Mets.

Speaker 1 Just hanging out. Hey, guys, you can tell me anything.
I won't go tell A-Rod. I don't want to crush your dreams or anything here, Big Hat, but how does that work with then gambling?

Speaker 1 If you're an owner of the Mets. Oh, I think you can.

Speaker 1 Okay, I officially will say I will not. I have no problem not being elected into Cooperstown.
Okay. Okay.
If you disavow it, right? I am fine with that. I'm fine with that.

Speaker 4 I like how

Speaker 4 what might be happening here is like there's a big kind of human centipede of getting other people attached to your bid for the Mets.

Speaker 4 So the person who's really trying to get the Mets, he will have A-Rod as his like, his clubhouse guy. Right.
And then A-Rod will have you

Speaker 1 as your clubhouse guy. I don't care how I get in there.
All I want to do is I've always thought that I would be a great guy to just be hanging out. Just hanging out.
You need seeds? You need dip?

Speaker 1 You need some bubblegum?

Speaker 4 No, I can't dip anymore.

Speaker 1 No, we can dip. Police.
In our clubhouse, we can dip. Whatever you need.
I got you. Want to joke? What if it's

Speaker 1 wanting to take my pants off? You towel up my ass? And in today's day and age, you're going to have to be the one, the clubhouse guys, are going to have to be the ones enforcing the social distancing.

Speaker 1 That's fine. I can do that too.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. Back up.

Speaker 1 I got that. Easy.
Billy, you got a hot seat cooler on?

Speaker 1 I was going to put Serbia on the hot seat 98 years later. But

Speaker 1 never mind. Okay.

Speaker 4 Good job, Billy.

Speaker 1 All right, Matt Ryan coming up.

Speaker 1 Before we get to that, I'm giving up for Chicago.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Matt Ryan.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is NFL MVP starting quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Matt Ryan, who is joining us.

Speaker 1 He has a GoFundMe going on right now, advancing the lives of the Atlanta black community. He's got $1.2 million right now.
That's incredible. Everyone can go online right now, donate to the GoFundMe.

Speaker 1 Matt Ryan has set it up. It's great.
Do it. It's going to go to a great cause.

Speaker 1 Matt, thank thank you for joining us we're going to talk about that i wanted though to start the interview being a gracious host and ask you do you want to do 28 three now or later

Speaker 1 let's just rip the bandaid and go all right let's do it all right we'll get out to a big start and then you can come back first question how much did that suck

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 7 i mean as much as anything can suck right like that's about as as bad as it gets still stings a little bit but uh

Speaker 7 hopefully I get back there at some point and can change the narrative.

Speaker 1 I remember Ed Werder after the game asked you, how crushing was this loss right after the game? And that was maybe the most savage question in the moment.

Speaker 1 So credit to you for dealing with that in the moment. And not like,

Speaker 1 I would have freaked out and grabbed my Xbox controller and thrown it at everyone in the press and been like, I'm out of here. So good job on that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I gave my helmet a pretty good launch when I got into

Speaker 7 the locker room, saw the kind of speakers and stuff fly out. So I basically did the same thing you would do with the Xbox controller with my helmet.

Speaker 4 I heard a nasty rumor that you got a contact high from Chris Long when he hit you in the fourth quarter. And that's what kind of sent you downhill.
Can you confirm that?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I don't think that's true. But,

Speaker 7 you know, it was that fourth quarter, it was kind of a weird deal, right? Because

Speaker 7 The end, I mean, we made some great plays to get back into field goal range late in the game. Then we kind of, you know, got bumped back out.
But there was no contact tie from Chris.

Speaker 7 I actually just talked to him earlier today. All good.
He's still talking shit about that year and then the following year when he beat us with the Eagles, which both those were tough losses.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was the 2017 Falcons who I was saying they hadn't played their best game yet. Up and you guys lost, and I still was like, don't worry, they're going to be in the playoffs next week.

Speaker 1 And they still haven't played their best game because I was a big believer in that team.

Speaker 1 Have you had a chance, I assume, to talk to Kyle Shanahan? I know that you guys have publicly, like, there's back and forth, you know, not blame, but Kyle Shanahan gets some of the blame for it.

Speaker 1 But have you guys buried the hatchet in that respect?

Speaker 7 Yeah, we're cool. I mean, we talked, God, we talked a lot about it, you know, the week and a half after, after that game.
And then, you know, obviously I was happy for him with the San Francisco

Speaker 7 hire and, you know, kept in touch with him. And then obviously reached back out to him after, you know, another tough one for them after the Super Bowl this year.

Speaker 7 So I've been, you know, I've kept in touch with him. And he's a, I mean, he's a great coach, man.
He's a good dude, really good football coach. And he's going to get one.
I hope not during

Speaker 7 the rest of my career, but

Speaker 7 at some point after that, he's going to get one.

Speaker 4 Do you call in to question his judgment knowing that he has Chris Sims' initials tattooed on his calf?

Speaker 7 We used to bust his balls all the time about that. Matt Sims, so Chris's brother, Matt, was the third string quarterback with us for, I guess, two seasons while Kyle was there.

Speaker 7 And Matt, he was relentless, man. He would, he would just, he would break his balls all the time about that.

Speaker 7 And it is, you know, he tells a story about why they did it, and it still doesn't make sense. I mean, it just, it was a bad decision.

Speaker 4 The wood, they called themselves the wood, right? It was like four bros at University of Texas. They're like, hey, let's all get each other's names put on our legs.

Speaker 7 Yeah, just a bad decision at that time.

Speaker 7 And you couldn't have thought it was going to play out well right speaking of matt sims what is it about the name matt that makes really good quarterbacks good question thanks i don't know that's uh another weird part of of that year so in in that quarterback room our our quarterback coach was matt lafleur current head coach of the green bay packers our backup quarterback was matt shaub and our third string quarterback was matt sims so all four of us in that room at the time were matt

Speaker 7 and the running joke was that, you know, if anybody came in and asked for Matt, they knew who we were talking to. It was me.
So everybody else just kept their mouth shut. Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know, went about their business.

Speaker 1 I'd like to talk to Matt Schaub. Have you ever asked Matt Schaub

Speaker 1 the streak, the pick six streak that he had going? That's an all-time.

Speaker 1 I mean, what happened there? Did you have you ever been like, hey, dude, what was going on that?

Speaker 7 Yeah, he doesn't really want to go there.

Speaker 1 When I bring it up,

Speaker 7 he doesn't really want to go there all that often about it. But I think we're both like top 15 all-time of pick sixes thrown.
So that's pretty good for one quarterback room.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Did he ever suggest, hey, maybe we should work on our tackling?

Speaker 7 Never came up.

Speaker 7 Either of us never really brought it up.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I actually do have a love-hate relationship with the Falcons because I do think you guys are always ready to peak.

Speaker 1 And this year you have, I think it's 10 out of 11 starters on offense or first-round picks. Have you, I assume you guys have done Zoom calls, you're looking around like, man, we got a lot of talent.

Speaker 7 That's crazy. I mean, I would like when they said that, I never really thought about it.
You never really think about like, oh, yeah, all these guys are

Speaker 7 first-round draft picks or whatever. But then I saw that and looking around, you're like, holy shit, we got a lot of guys that were drafted early.
A lot of guys that.

Speaker 7 are from other spots that for whatever reason have ended up in our space, which I think

Speaker 7 I'm always kind of bullish on that.

Speaker 7 You know, I feel like uh they're talented guys and you know for whatever reason it didn't work out in the first spot that they ended up but you know now that we've got them there's talent there and we can develop them you take a guy like hayden hurst for us you know i think he ends up in baltimore where you know for no other reason than they just ran the football down people's throat uh he just he didn't really get that many opportunities And I think, you know, him, the guy that's coming in for us, I think has, you know, every opportunity to take off i think we'll use him differently than they used him in baltimore but we definitely got some talent and uh you know i'm excited about what we got going this season has that been weird trying to get to know guys that you might not have had a previous relationship with and you're not able to meet face to face with them yeah for sure so like one of the uh first times i worked out i was flying out to california uh to to meet up with hayden

Speaker 7 And I had met him a couple of times, like did two or three workouts, but we got to the airport and he was in this hat and had the mask on.

Speaker 7 And I was like, not really sure if that's him or if like, if that's actually, I knew we were on the same flight, but he was kind of sitting in the and I wasn't really positive it was him.

Speaker 7 So it's kind of, it's just a weird time right now, you know, with all this COVID stuff

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 7 having a meeting like this. But,

Speaker 7 you know, we're trying our best, making sure we're doing the best with what we got.

Speaker 1 Do you think you're underrated when it comes to QBs? Because we love as fans and media to do the tier rankings. That's basically our entire offseason is what tier guys in.

Speaker 1 And it does feel like sometimes you don't get the respect that your numbers have shown throughout your career when we do the tier system. So do you feel that way or do you not even care?

Speaker 7 I mean, it doesn't bother me that much. I do understand, like, since I've been in the league,

Speaker 7 it's a, you know, what have you done in the playoffs? And then when you win a playoff game, all right, what have you done until you win a Super Bowl? And so that's kind of, you know,

Speaker 7 that's where the status comes from. And, you know, I kind of understand that that's the nature of

Speaker 7 how people see it right now. But I don't worry about it too much.
You know, I feel like I go about my business and, you know, produce week in and week out, year in and year out, and

Speaker 7 give our team an opportunity to win pretty much every week.

Speaker 1 Because I pulled up the stats, and since 2008, when you came in the league,

Speaker 1 you've only finished outside of QBR, which obviously isn't the end-all, be-all, but only once, and that was 11. That's your lowest QBR.

Speaker 1 You were, you know, you've been three a bunch of times, one, five, six, like always up there.

Speaker 1 And when we break down quarterbacks, it's, you know, kind of the usual suspect names, and then Matt Ryan. So I don't know.
It's an interesting thing that I guess maybe it is just a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Maybe we're that dumb that if you win a Super Bowl, then immediately you are like an incredible

Speaker 1 player that you get all the credit for these seasons you had in the past.

Speaker 7 So I think one of the reasons, though, is

Speaker 7 I don't like one of my quarterback coaches, he was like, good, good quarterback plays is making the boring sexy, right?

Speaker 7 It's doing like the little things over and over correct, making the right decisions, putting the ball, you know, where it's supposed to be.

Speaker 5 And I don't think I do anything kind of like crazy.

Speaker 7 You know, I don't, I don't run the ball all that well. Uh, I don't have the strongest arm.
I don't, you know, throw it the hardest.

Speaker 4 We lost you there. I'll tell you what, before we get back to this interview with Matt Ryan, while he's dealing with these technical issues,

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Speaker 4 And I guess Matt Ryan's coming back. Matty Ice, here we go.

Speaker 1 Matt Ryan. That's maybe part of the reason.

Speaker 4 Yeah. What was that like taking over from a guy who was the exact opposite, Mike Vicks? Because he was like an Atlanta legend.
The franchise loved him. All the fans loved him.

Speaker 4 You come in, you play play like a completely different game from Michael Vick. Was there any additional pressure on you being like, hey, I need to carry this torch along?

Speaker 4 Or did that thought even enter your head as you were going to that first season?

Speaker 7 Yeah, no. I mean, early on, it was like,

Speaker 7 you know, it was tough because he was such a legend, you know, in our city and

Speaker 7 was just so dynamic and so exciting.

Speaker 7 the way that he played, right? I mean, he could just make plays that nobody else could make.

Speaker 7 And that's not really at all how I play, right?

Speaker 7 I can't do some of those things that he could do, but I always felt like,

Speaker 7 you know, if you just win games, right? And

Speaker 7 you do things the right way that, you know, people would warm up to you or whatever. And I think that's been the case.

Speaker 7 I mean, we've been pretty consistent here for the last 12 years that I've been a part of it.

Speaker 7 Had a number of chances in the playoffs, haven't you know, finished it off the way we want to, but it's taken a little bit of time, but I think people have warmed up to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 One of the big off-season editions, our good friend Todd Gurley, he's coming over from Los Angeles. My only question about Todd Gurley is, have you talked to him about getting a cat yet?

Speaker 4 Because he's been promising that he was going to get a cat for two and a half years now.

Speaker 7 It didn't come up for me.

Speaker 7 Maybe I'll just shoot him a text after this, see where it stands.

Speaker 4 You should. He promised a cat to America and he did not deliver.
He got a fake cat that he used to advertise on Hulu, but he still hasn't fulfilled that promise. I'd appreciate a follow-up on that.

Speaker 4 That'd That'd be great.

Speaker 7 I'll send that follow-up text tonight.

Speaker 1 I want to do a quick

Speaker 1 throwback, wondering what was going through your head during this decision-making, and it wasn't your decision, but

Speaker 1 2015, you're out playing the San Francisco 49ers. You guys are down four,

Speaker 1 fourth and goal on the one, under three minutes to go. You kick a field goal.

Speaker 1 What were you thinking?

Speaker 7 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Do you remember that play? Because I do.

Speaker 7 We were out there, 2015, out. We had just opened the new stadium.
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 We kicked it, and then we didn't get the ball back, I don't think. Correct, correct.
You lost by one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 Probably not the right choice.

Speaker 1 No, I actually meant, we saw Dan Quinn at the combine a couple years ago, and I asked him about that because I kind of have just, I don't know, it's something I'm just hung up on.

Speaker 1 I think I had money on the game, and I just was really mad at him. You definitely had money on the game.
And

Speaker 1 he had a new problem. Yeah, he was like, yeah, that was a mistake.

Speaker 7 He was so out of character for Dan, though, too. I think he's changed.
It's probably one of the learning experiences for him as a head coach, too, because he honestly is one of the most aggressive,

Speaker 7 you know, aggressive guys in the league when it comes to going forward on fourth down and being aggressive and, you know, having the balls to make those decisions and being able to live with it.

Speaker 7 which is one of the things you love about him. But it was his first year as a head coach.
So, I mean, he's come along. He's gotten better.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That was a bad one. So speaking of Dan Quinn,

Speaker 1 it was interesting this year because you guys obviously didn't have the season you wanted to have.

Speaker 1 I appreciated you not having the season you wanted to have because I bet my pinky, I would cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So thank you for that.

Speaker 1 But it was interesting because we all kind of assumed Dan Quinn was dead man walking, like he was going to be fired.

Speaker 1 What was the locker room like the second half of the season when you guys put together some big wins and sort of saved his job.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think there was definitely like a sense of playing for him the second half of the season and being like, you know what, this guy's too good of a guy, too good of a coach.

Speaker 7 You know,

Speaker 7 we just don't want it to go out like this, you know. And so whatever was going to happen, let's finish it off the right way.

Speaker 7 And then we finished up six and two, beat some really good teams, two of them on the road, San Francisco and New Orleans,

Speaker 7 you know, down the second half of the season. So it was, it was just, it was, it was fun to be a part of.

Speaker 7 I mean, obviously it sucked the way that we started, but it was fun to be a part of that, you know, that ride, the second half of the season, and to see, you know, to see, you know, him kind of get emotional at the end of the year, realizing guys were playing for him and wanted him to be there so badly.

Speaker 4 Yeah, six and two to finish it out. I'm officially making the Falcons my team that no one's talking about, that you should be on the lookout for next year.
You always have to have one of those.

Speaker 4 Would you rather be the team that no one's talking about or a team that goes into the new year with like huge expectations, Super Bowl expectations?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 7 I guess it's kind of nice to fly under the radar to a certain extent, right? Like you kind of can go into it early in the year and there's not much buzz around you.

Speaker 7 But to be honest with you, I'd rather be the team going into it with huge expectations because that means you're firing on all cylinders the year before and, you know, you had a chance late in the season the year before.

Speaker 7 And that's ultimately, you know, you want to be there every year.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we were talking before we started the show about how I had a big win today.

Speaker 1 Got another game tonight. But I, oftentimes, in the red zone, try to force the ball to my best players to get their stats up.

Speaker 1 There has been a lot of talk, obviously, Julio Jones not getting all the red zone targets or not converting all the red zone targets that you guys get for him.

Speaker 1 Do you ever feel pressure like we got to get Julio the ball in the red zone i want to get him his touchdowns because he's such a good player and he puts up such great stats like almost a reward to try to get him the ball and get him those touchdowns what year i mean i think it was maybe 2018 it's 2016 crazy stretch where he had it 17 into 18 where he had like x amount of games where he didn't score a touchdown right and it was crazy yeah and i remember at the end of it

Speaker 7 like in our quarterback meetings during the week steve sarkeesian was our offensive coordinator at the time being like dude, we got to find a way to like,

Speaker 7 we got to find a way to get this guy in the end zone, right? And it was just weird how like different things ended up happening that he would either get tackled inside the five.

Speaker 7 I mean, he gets double teamed like crazy all the time, too, which is, you know, part of the problem.

Speaker 7 But when he finally broke through, he took one to the house on a little screenplay against Washington up there.

Speaker 7 It was like from that point on, the floodgates kind of opened up and he's scored quite a bit since then, but you definitely feel that pressure, you know, because he's a good dude.

Speaker 7 He doesn't bitch, he doesn't complain. Right.
He's like the best teammate you could ask for. And you want to toss him a bone.
You want him to, you know, to get in the end zone.

Speaker 7 And it was just, it was a weird time when he wasn't scoring.

Speaker 1 Okay, so playing video games is exactly like playing in the NFL.

Speaker 4 That's what it sounds like. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what I got out of that.

Speaker 7 Feed your guys, pump the stats.

Speaker 4 Yeah, would you like to issue a formal apology to Julio Jones fantasy football owners from the year 2017?

Speaker 7 I'm sorry, boys. I wish I could have done better for you.

Speaker 1 Okay, I think that'll go a long way to making amends. I'll accept that.

Speaker 1 I also, I wanted to know, you were part of the craziest college football season probably that we'll ever see in our lifetime, the 2007 college football season, the curse of number two.

Speaker 1 I think seven times the number two team lost.

Speaker 1 Two lost, LSU won the natty.

Speaker 1 When that season's going on and BC gets to number two in the country,

Speaker 1 What was going through your head? We're like, I can't believe we're here or we can control our destiny because you lost to unranked Florida State, but that's just how the season went.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it was crazy.

Speaker 7 We had a really good team, though. I mean, we had a bunch of NFL guys on that team.
And so I knew going into that year, we were going to be pretty tough.

Speaker 7 Really good defensive players, really good offensive line.

Speaker 7 and just felt good about our chances. But definitely we caught fire like midway through the year.
We were scoring points like crazy.

Speaker 7 And when we got to number two, I think we went down to Virginia Tech as number two and almost lost down there and then came back and won this game like right at the end.

Speaker 7 And then we lost to Florida State, maybe the following week. But there was definitely a feeling,

Speaker 7 you know, within our locker room, being at Boston College, you know, you're not going out at the beginning of the year being like, we're going to play for a national championship.

Speaker 7 We were pretty late into the year into October, getting close to November, saying, holy shit, we got a chance.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 7 it was fun to be a part of it. Sucked losing to two unranked teams and then losing in the ACC championship, but it was a fun ride.

Speaker 1 And there were three number two teams lost after you guys, too. Kansas, West Virginia, and Oregon all lost after you guys had lost your number two.
I mean, it's a crazy year.

Speaker 1 There was a point in time where there was, I think it was week 12, that late in the season, the only two undefeated teams were Kansas and Hawaii.

Speaker 1 That's so insane to like even just look at. That's crazy.
Yeah. It was a fun, fun year.
Crazy year.

Speaker 7 And Kansas went on a stretch and didn't win a game for like 10 years.

Speaker 1 That's right. The curse of Mangino.

Speaker 4 That's right. After they got rid of it, I think they beat Texas like 10 years later.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 Are we still going with the Matty Ice story that your high school baseball coach gave you that name because you had one good game?

Speaker 4 Or are we able to admit that it was a nickname because you like to drink a shitload of natty ice?

Speaker 7 It's definitely from natty ice.

Speaker 1 It had nothing to do with

Speaker 7 like playing one good baseball game or anything like that. It really started from in high school,

Speaker 7 you know, just a

Speaker 7 bunch of idiots being like, you got a bunch of natty ice beers and being like, natty ice sounds like natty ice and let's go with that.

Speaker 7 It lasted though. I mean, it's, it's lasted, I'm 35 now.
It's been around since I was like 15.

Speaker 4 So pretty good, pretty good run it's at. We're still doing Matty.
It's not progressed to like Matro Light or anything like that.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 7 Natty Light's so much better. Natty Ice is really bad.
That's the issue, too, is

Speaker 7 it's been so long since I've had it. But

Speaker 7 Natty Light was pretty decent. We had a lot of that in college.

Speaker 1 Did you feel any, because you're a Philadelphia guy, did you feel

Speaker 1 any happiness that the Eagles then beat the Patriots after you lost in the Super Bowl?

Speaker 7 Zero. Zero.

Speaker 1 Zero. Your family, though, I'm sure, was very happy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, like my extended family for sure some of the ones that still wear like eagles jerseys to the games when we go and play it you know they they might have been fired up but is that how it works it's a brutal place to go play it's almost like it's almost like worse being from there and then going up to play there

Speaker 1 uh you know people get on your ass pretty good about it is that how it works do you have like a tally a running tally in your head like okay i know that uh like this cousin is still rooting for the eagles over the falcons and this cousin like i would assume your immediate family is all ride or die falcons Falcons, but do you have a mental list of the people who have stayed with the Eagles and not been like, hey, I kind of like the Falcons because my fucking cousin plays for them?

Speaker 7 You definitely keep score.

Speaker 1 There's no getting around it.

Speaker 7 In the back of your head, you're at like a barbecue or something.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 And they're, you know, they're telling you a joke and you're like, yeah, that was messed up. You wore a, you know.
Chris Long jersey to

Speaker 1 the game. I love it.
Someday they're going to, someday that cousin will be like, hey, Matt, can I, you know, I need a little help repairing the roof of my house. You're just like,

Speaker 1 what jersey were you wearing when the Falcons with you?

Speaker 7 I was in the stake in 2015 or 2018 when we were playing them in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 I love it. So who would be on your revenge list in terms of teams? If you could schedule out the perfect postseason for the Falcons, who would you want to beat from the NFC to get to the Super Bowl?

Speaker 4 And then who would you want to beat in the Super Bowl?

Speaker 7 Yeah, so week one bye for sure.

Speaker 4 We'll take the week one bye.

Speaker 7 We'll beat New New Orleans first round or divisional round, take out Philly in the championship game, and then roll right in and play the Patriots and take out the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 No 49ers for Kyle Shanahan and Dan Quinn kicking that field goal down four under three minutes in 2015?

Speaker 7 I have left just less beef with the it's less left, you know, less beef with them. Okay.
We did lose to the Niners in the NFC championship in 2012. So there's a little bit there.

Speaker 7 There's still a little bit there, but I definitely, New Orleans, New Orleans and Philly would be the two for me.

Speaker 1 Oh, actually, let me get my Packers hate question in. How sick was that NFC championship game when you guys fucking torched them?

Speaker 7 Yeah, it was pretty good.

Speaker 7 That was a fun day for us for sure. Good way to close out.
That was the last game in the Georgia Dome. So

Speaker 7 good way to close that stadium out.

Speaker 1 Do you get, be honest with us, do you get your family Chick-fil-A on Sundays at the stadium? Are you able to get like a special, is there a special door?

Speaker 7 There's no special door, man.

Speaker 1 All right, you wouldn't tell us the truth on that anyway, because you don't want to ruin it. I wouldn't.

Speaker 7 You're going to be sworn to secrecy, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I wouldn't ruin that if I had that special door that you definitely have.

Speaker 4 Well, you're a Popeyes guy, too, right?

Speaker 7 I mean, I mess with the little Popeyes from time to time as well.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you think?

Speaker 7 What's your comparison? Have you had both chicken sandwiches?

Speaker 1 I think the Popeyes is better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Popeyes is better. The Popeyes is better.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a little bit bigger. It's a little crunchier.

Speaker 1 Popeyes is better, but Popeyes also will set you back a little. Like

Speaker 1 that's a meal. Chick-fil-A, you can eat a chicken sandwich and keep going.

Speaker 7 Yeah, for sure. Popeyes is the ultimate hangover cure.

Speaker 7 You go have that, then a nap afterwards, and then maybe you're back to neutral a little bit later on.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I kind of agree with you, though.

Speaker 7 I think if it's just the chicken sandwich, I think I like the Popeyes chicken sandwich.

Speaker 4 I don't think anyone's ever casually ordered two Popeyes chicken chicken sandwiches. I'll eat two Chick-fil-A sandwiches all the time.
That's like, that's a full meal right there.

Speaker 4 If you get two Popeyes, you got to schedule the rest of your day out.

Speaker 4 You're like, yeah, I'm going to just, I'm just going to eat these in bed because I'm going to fall asleep until 10 o'clock the next morning.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you got to get a good intermittent fast afterwards.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 I had a question about the Sunday night football intros that you guys do where you say, you know, Matt Ryan, Boston College.

Speaker 4 Have you ever thought about switching it up and going back to your high school and saying that instead?

Speaker 1 No, I never went with, I went to to penn charter in philadelphia so for whatever reason it's just never come up i feel like there was a stretch where i didn't do it for a little while so it was like five or six years old of like the same the same one uh that they had been using so maybe it's time for an update uh so uh i will want to go back real quick to this go fund me advancing the lives uh of the atlanta black community it's got 1.2 million dollars my only issue that i have with you here you set it up you donated 500 000 your own money why the hell didn't you pin that five hundred thousand dollars in the comments so everyone sees that you donated five hundred thousand dollars

Speaker 7 i i guess i i probably should have done it but to me it was like you know it's not it's not about what i'm doing uh i'm here to help for sure uh from that standpoint but i also understand like it's it's not the easiest time for people to be donating money right like

Speaker 7 it's there's a lot going on in the world people you know have been struggling with jobs and on unemployment and all kinds of different stuff with COVID. So

Speaker 7 I respect and appreciate that it's a tough time financially.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 7 there's just some things that are going on that are unacceptable, particularly in our community. And

Speaker 7 I'm appreciative of how many different people have donated, whether it be. you know, 10 bucks, 20 bucks, some people have donated, you know, thousands of dollars.

Speaker 7 So I appreciate all of that and everybody's willingness to be a part of it. And hopefully we can get to that $2 million mark.

Speaker 7 I've had some really good conversations with some people here in Atlanta about what we can do with some of that funding to try and improve some conditions,

Speaker 7 whether it be for youth education, whether it be for

Speaker 7 dealing with police officers and police brutality, or whether it be with educating people on voter suppression. So

Speaker 7 I think there's some unique stuff we can do, and I'm appreciative of you guys having me on to talk about it, but also

Speaker 7 everybody who has donated to the cause so far.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Everyone should,

Speaker 1 if they can, go, you can find it on GoFundMe. I'm reading the comments right now.
I just fucking love sports fans. Some guy, I'm not going to say his name, he donated five bucks, said Saints fan here.

Speaker 1 Let's keep this momentum going and rebuild America. I just love that.
I love when they qualify like, hey, I hate your guts, Matt Ryan, but I'm going to donate.

Speaker 7 You suck, but this is kind of cool what you're doing.

Speaker 1 Yes, I love it. Yes.

Speaker 4 I love it. Did they charge you the 10% or 5% GoFundMe tax when you donated your $500,000?

Speaker 7 GoFundMe, man.

Speaker 7 They've got a good business model going right now.

Speaker 7 They're doing good for people and they're doing well for themselves also. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a great cause, though. Everyone should go and please donate if you can.
I had one last question.

Speaker 1 Falcons, New Jersey, did you get any

Speaker 1 preview? Did you get any input in it? Or was it just like, here are your jerseys?

Speaker 7 I got previews. There was definitely discussions.

Speaker 7 You know, I kind of am partial towards the throwbacks. I like

Speaker 1 throwbacks.

Speaker 7 I thought our throwbacks are amazing. I'm glad they have, you know, stayed the same.

Speaker 7 I was maybe pushing for that to be the all the time, but,

Speaker 7 you know, I was a part of the conversation, but it certainly wasn't my decision. But they look pretty good.
You know, I like the all-black. I like the all-white, and I like the throwbacks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the throwbacks are some of the nicest jerseys. And they're one of my favorite jerseys, the Falcons throwbacks.

Speaker 4 Who's the first person you think of when you see that all-black Falcons jersey?

Speaker 1 The all-black, the current one, or like the old school one?

Speaker 4 The old school one, the throwback.

Speaker 1 Deion, for sure.

Speaker 7 Any of the black, I think of Deion Sanders when I see, especially that bird, too, that bird on the side.

Speaker 1 Like that makes me think of Deion. Jamal Anderson.
You know what you should do?

Speaker 4 You should start rocking the Deion Sanders durag underneath the helmet when you guys are wearing the throwback. That would look sick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 I'm not sure I got enough swag to pull it off.

Speaker 7 Maybe for training camp or something, I'll test it out.

Speaker 1 Oh, I actually did have one last question.

Speaker 1 Have you ever, I know he's obviously your owner, so you got to be, you know, you signed your paychecks, but have you ever just been like, hey, man. Did you really have to come down to the sideline?

Speaker 1 No, man. I'm cool with him.
Me and Arthur are cool. Whatever he wants to do, he's cool by me.
Good answer. I feel like if he doesn't go to the sideline, the game goes differently.

Speaker 1 I'm a believer in supersticks.

Speaker 4 He just floats behind, yeah, on the sideline.

Speaker 1 That look, that picture is like, oh, no.

Speaker 7 There have been a few times where I've been like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 It's definitely going to go the way I wanted it to.

Speaker 4 I think everybody in America has the same fear that whenever their boss kind of gets behind them, even the back of their head, if you have the most secure job in America, you're like, oh, shit, am I going to get fired?

Speaker 4 If you see him down there, you're like, I better straighten up my posture because he could just axe me next play.

Speaker 7 No doubt. I'm like, get it together, boys.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 We got to get it done.

Speaker 4 Arthur Blank, good mustache or great mustache?

Speaker 7 Great mustache. Very, very well maintained.
Like, very well maintained. Is better up close to like the closer you see it, the more you can tell he is.

Speaker 7 You know, he takes great care of that thing.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 All right. Good answer.
You're smart. You're a smart man.

Speaker 1 Matt, this has been awesome, man. We really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 You are now a recurring guest, so you actually have to come on whenever we ask.

Speaker 1 I'm in, man. Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 All right. Fine.
You're in. Yeah, you're in.

Speaker 4 Let's get some extra ratings out of this interview real quick. Can you just guarantee us how many wins you're going to have next year?

Speaker 1 Oh, you need an over and under. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Shit. You know, I can't do that.

Speaker 7 I'll get roasted for it. But I'm going to say we're going to win 12 games.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay. How about this? Also, let's go one step further.
Would you say you're the best quarterback in the NFC South?

Speaker 7 I think currently, yeah, I'll go, I'll go with myself.

Speaker 1 Now that Jameis is gone, I love it. Well, he's still there.
Oh, yeah. Good point.
He's still in the NFC South. Yeah,

Speaker 7 that is a fair point.

Speaker 4 When you were playing against the Bucs last year, were you standing extra close on the sideline when Jameis was out there?

Speaker 4 Because you were like, I know no matter what happens, something cool is about to go down.

Speaker 7 Listen, it was a crazy, it was a crazy year because we see all of their games too. Like, you know, you're preparing for the opponents you're going against.

Speaker 7 You're watching Tampa tape of them going against him. So we played him in the last game of the year.
And

Speaker 7 I guess he had a couple interceptions early in the game. We all knew that if he had like three or four, whatever it was, he was going to throw 30 picks.
And so we go into overtime.

Speaker 7 And I go out for the coin toss. And we lose the coin toss.
And I'm going to sit on the bench. And I didn't even see it.
But before I knew it, the game was over for the pick six back the other way.

Speaker 7 I was like, it's the only way that season could have ended for him. And I hope he does great like moving forward.
But that season was destined to end with a pick six or something like that.

Speaker 1 It really was.

Speaker 4 It was amazing. Yeah, it's actually a good thing you guys lost that coin toss then.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I suppose so. I was pissed off.
Like we lost a coin toss. I'm like, you got to be kidding me.
Like, this is always how it goes. It went that way in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 We're like, I'm tired of this overtime rule. We should, you know, each get a chance or whatever.
But maybe we should go to college football overtime. I'm a big fan of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love that. Absolutely.
I also think they should do, NFL should do stop clocking after first downs to let teams be able to come back.

Speaker 7 It's be a tough transition for you as a coach, man. Two-minute situations get much different.

Speaker 1 And that clock doesn't stop

Speaker 1 on first downs. I'm terrible with the clock.
Terrible with the clock.

Speaker 1 I still am going to criticize Dan Quinn and Andy Reid when they screw up, but at least in the back of my head, I'm like, I probably couldn't do better. But I'll still say I could do better.

Speaker 7 You need to hire an assistant, bro, just to do the the game management stuff for you.

Speaker 1 I have a bunch of assistants. They're just, some of them are

Speaker 1 not smart. Yeah, you should get pretty much Billy.
Billy's not smart.

Speaker 4 Just get Flavor Flaves to stand next to you. Just a big-ass clock around his neck.
Yes.

Speaker 7 That clock would be nice.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Well, Matt, this has been awesome, man.
We appreciate you coming on, and best of luck next year. I won't bet my pinky on you guys.
Actually, no. 12 wins.

Speaker 1 If you start 0-2, then I might bet my pinky on you guys. So we'll see.

Speaker 7 All right, give it two weeks and then see what happens.

Speaker 1 Yes, perfect. All right.
Thanks, man.

Speaker 7 You got it. Thanks, guys.
Appreciate you.

Speaker 4 That interview with Matt Ryan was...

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Speaker 1 All right, let's do some segments. We got guys on chicks.
We're going to get mad at a list, but before we do that, you have a just chill out, man, PFT.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so this comes to us via the Redskins Brawl podcast.

Speaker 4 Redskins linebacker Ryan Anderson told his teammate Garrett Hudson one time in the cold tub, if I can remember my grandkids' names, then I didn't play the game right. Whoa.
Just chill out, man.

Speaker 4 Just chill out. Just chill out, man.

Speaker 1 Big time, just chill out.

Speaker 4 Listen to J.J. Watt.
Listen to Styles of Beyond. 100% reason to remember the name.

Speaker 1 Was it in the cold tub or the hot tub, you said?

Speaker 4 That's a good question. I'm going to assume cold tub.

Speaker 1 Well, if it's in the cold tub, I actually think that's an appropriate conversation because you actually want something to, like a serious, crazy conversation, get your mind off it. Anything that...

Speaker 4 In the hot tub, you're chilling. Also, when you hit the cold tub for the first time, you're not liable of what you say.

Speaker 1 But getting in the cold tub, if someone brings up that type of conversation, you're like, whoa, dude, guess what you're not doing? Thinking about the cold tub.

Speaker 4 That's true. Just, yeah, just say the most outrageous stuff that you can to get your mind off the fact that you're freezing.
Right.

Speaker 1 Cold tubs suck. Just chill out, man.
All right, let's get mad at a list. We saw this list

Speaker 1 on Twitter the other day, and it caught our eyes because it has our favorite sport handball ranked there, but it's sports ranked

Speaker 1 difficulty. Handball 2021.
Speaking of gaming, no, I'm not going to be giving up gaming because handball 21 is a real game that's coming out next year.

Speaker 4 Well, that's just practicing.

Speaker 4 That's taking mental reps for when we eventually dominate the world

Speaker 1 in the world's game.

Speaker 1 Handball 17, five years later, they came out with a new one. That's huge.

Speaker 1 Sports ranked by difficulty is the name of the list. And let's get mad about it.

Speaker 4 Where do you guys want to start? We should start by crediting the source of this list.

Speaker 4 It's from Unbiased America Sports. Yes, you know.
So your number one go-to destination for trustworthy sports rankings.

Speaker 4 Just behind the Piss Institute.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I actually, why don't we just start at the top? I actually totally agree with number one, boxing.

Speaker 4 So my only problem with boxing on this list, it actually goes along for a lot of these sports that are on here. Boxing is actually very easy to suck at.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 I'm saying like the hardest, but the difficulty is like to play it at the highest level, not to suck it.

Speaker 4 Is that what we're talking about? So we're talking about like at the professional level to get there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, difficulty.
Pay-per-view fights.

Speaker 1 The hardest fights to win.

Speaker 4 Boxing will be tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Agreed. Agreed.

Speaker 1 Because you could suck at all these sports pretty easily.

Speaker 4 True, but some some sports are more difficult to suck at.

Speaker 1 I think if you truly suck, you could suck at anything very quickly. But boxing at the highest level, I think, is the hardest difficulty in terms of everything that's involved.

Speaker 1 Hand-eye coordination, fast switch muscles, stamina, pain tolerance. Just try to throw punches for three minutes against air and then stop for a minute and then do it again for three minutes.

Speaker 1 Not one-minute rounds like you, Hank. You didn't actually box.
I did box.

Speaker 1 You were actually the commentator, Ruffin Radis. Undefeated.
That's actually great. It's a great point.
Champ Camp coming through. But you did get knocked down.
Yeah, that's boxing.

Speaker 1 That's the name of the game. That's true.
And you got back up. Exactly.
Stronger than ever. All right.
So then it goes ice hockey, football, basketball, wrestling. I assume that's pro-wrestling, WWE.

Speaker 4 I would assume definitely pro-wrestling.

Speaker 1 It's wrestling.

Speaker 4 No, it's wrestling.

Speaker 4 Wrestling. You get lit on fire.
You get thrown off a steel case.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Martial arts.
I don't know. I just wish they had

Speaker 4 put basketball ahead of ice hockey just so that we could see the please like my sport crowd.

Speaker 1 Yes. Now, here's where I get to have a problem.
Tennis at seven? Tennis?

Speaker 4 Disagree. Tennis? Unless you're playing in a tournament against Novak Djokovic and he's giving you all kinds of communicable diseases.

Speaker 1 Especially with baseball at nine. Like, hitting a round ball going 100 miles an hour feels like it's harder than hitting a tennis ball with a racket.

Speaker 1 Well, tennis balls can go 100 miles an hour. True, but you have a lot bigger surface area.
Yeah. I mean, you always hear.

Speaker 4 At least I've always been told from really just Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon, the hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a baseball. I have no idea if that's true or not, but I've heard it enough

Speaker 4 that I believe it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Now we have skiing or baseball, softball, soccer,

Speaker 1 skiing, water polo, water polo. Water polo should be higher.
Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.
Rugby's actually in a good spot. I'm not even going to make any

Speaker 4 rugby joke. It's in a perfect spot, exactly one spot ahead of lacrosse.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Yes.
Billy, chime in whenever you want. No, I mean, lacrosse is really hard to play.

Speaker 1 Like, Like, most good lacrosse players have been playing since they've been in the sports. That's every sport here.
Yeah, but you can pick up some of these sports like this. Which one?

Speaker 1 Which one could you pick up and get to the pros? Handball. Well, yeah, we're not headed here yet.
Yeah, we're not here yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 4 martial arts. No.

Speaker 1 A lot of guys pick up martial arts.

Speaker 1 Dude, think about Steven Seagal.

Speaker 4 Think about wrestlers and boxers.

Speaker 1 Do you know how many years Steven Seagal trained?

Speaker 4 Do you think you could beat up Butterbean?

Speaker 1 I think I could beat up Butterbean. No, my Butterbean would

Speaker 1 put you in the house. He couldn't mention me.
He probably put his head. I don't even know if he's still alive.
He would still fuck you. I would do that

Speaker 1 double kick jump in his stomach. No, dude, he would fuck you up.
Okay,

Speaker 1 this video.

Speaker 4 That's where the list loses me a little bit because it's rodeo steer wrestling. I feel like

Speaker 4 steer wrestling should be a little bit higher. Steer wrestling should be top five.

Speaker 1 Yeah, speed skating, figure skating, cycling for distance. Cycling for distance has to be.
I feel like those are the ones that, like, cycling for distance and running for distance.

Speaker 1 Actually, cycling for distance

Speaker 1 should be way lower.

Speaker 4 Easier than running for distance. Yes, way lower.
That's the reason why people cycle is because they don't like to run.

Speaker 1 Run, right. Like, that should be, where's swimming? Swimming for distance is harder than cycling for distance.

Speaker 1 Volleyball, racquetball,

Speaker 1 wash. At least cycling for distance, you're now you're in the elements.
Swimming for distance yourself.

Speaker 1 Have you ever swimmed? You're in a controlled environment.

Speaker 1 Iron Man, like, they swim through the elements. Swimming is really, really hard.
Yeah. Cycling is hard, but not.
There's no... It's one, it's the same.
It's an even.

Speaker 1 All you need is stamina to swim for distance. That's all you need.
No, you need strength. Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 You need a lot of things. You need a swimsuit.
Will. Cycling for distance is harder than swimming for distance.

Speaker 4 You need a swim cap, goggles.

Speaker 1 Fact thermia. Pins.

Speaker 4 Sharks, you need to avoid sharks.

Speaker 1 If it's in the ocean, I'll give it to you. If it's in the ocean, I'll give it to you.

Speaker 1 Think about it this way, Hank.

Speaker 4 When they do the triathlon, the swimming portion is by far the shortest. It's like a mile swim, and then you do like a marathon in the Iron Man, and then you bike, I don't know, like 50%.

Speaker 1 You don't have two wheels in the ocean, but someone who's listening who's a big cyclist and a big swimmer, have it out. Oh, triathletes.
Debate in the mentions.

Speaker 1 All right, then if Lance Armstrong, why didn't he continue to do swimming?

Speaker 4 He did. He did continue to be a triathlon.

Speaker 1 It was too hard to swim. Yeah.
Exactly. Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 That's not true, though. That's not true, though.
Check me. No.
Check me.

Speaker 1 That was so easy.

Speaker 1 Dude, Billy just got you. That's bad.
Billy got you. Hank,

Speaker 1 that's worse than getting swept by PFT and ping-pong, which also happened.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that did happen.

Speaker 1 All right. Surfing? Surfing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've never gotten up on a surface.

Speaker 1 A bunch of best surfers, though. The best surfers.
Sharks. Magnetic, the documentary.
Oh, yeah, it's a good plug.

Speaker 4 We're watching Magnetic for Friday.

Speaker 1 It's on Netflix. Magnetic.
Magnetic, Magnetic.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it goes into that they do like 100-foot surfing in this.

Speaker 1 The real best surfers in the world. That's a fucking really...
That's...

Speaker 4 That's a really hard thing. That's one of those.

Speaker 1 It's harder than Racket Ball and Squash.

Speaker 4 That's one of those videos where you see the best in the world surfing the biggest waves, and you actually, like, your hands start to sweat. And it's actually painful to watch that.

Speaker 1 Fencing. What? Fencing? No, thank you.

Speaker 4 If it's actual sword fighting, then yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. Everyone used to sword fight.
Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Everyone used to be sick at fencing. Also, the thing is, on the bottom of this tweet,

Speaker 1 it says there's a watermark up with a flag. I feel like that has to do with something with these lists.
I thought this was from Sports Illustrated. No, it's not by Samera Sports, dude.

Speaker 4 It's their logo. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's not like

Speaker 1 you're seen everywhere. It's like a Spanish flag or something.
All right, here we go. We got team handball at 26.
So it's in the top half, which I definitely disagree with.

Speaker 1 No. All right, let's just finish off the list by finding sports that are harder than team handballing, that are ranked below team handballing.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Badminton. Bob sledding.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Ski jumping. Track and field high jump.
Track and field long jump.

Speaker 4 Rowing. Calf roping.

Speaker 1 Rowing is very hard. Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 Fishing. Weightlifting.

Speaker 1 Way harder. Yep.
Swimming all strokes is 45. That's crazy.
Sprints. Swimming.

Speaker 1 Table tennis, way harder than team handballing.

Speaker 4 Roller skating, just the barrier of entry to like find a pair of of roller skates.

Speaker 1 Same with equestrian. You got to find a horse.

Speaker 4 You got to get a horse that won't kick you off it.

Speaker 4 You have to be born to a rich dad.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this: like, steer wrestling, like, the only people who know how hard steer wrestling is people who are around steers.

Speaker 1 Like, maybe if there's a steer right here, I could wrestle it real quick. You think it's easy?

Speaker 4 It could be easy.

Speaker 1 That's just not a barrier to entry, you know?

Speaker 4 Like, how do you know? Bob sliding could be a little bit more distracted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't know if you're the best. Like, I've never shot archery.
Like, could I be the best? I don't know. Yeah, like, if I'm really good at podcasting in this room, better than handball.

Speaker 1 You can't even talk to the mic. By the way, this.
See, I'm the best.

Speaker 1 Let's finish it off. Curling, bowling, shooting, billiards, and fishing.
End the list.

Speaker 1 I'll say it. Billiard team.

Speaker 1 Team handball is harder than fishing.

Speaker 4 I disagree.

Speaker 1 Yeah, actually, you know what? I don't even believe that.

Speaker 4 I disagree. What if you're using your bare hands? That's almost impossible to do.

Speaker 1 If you're saying, even bowling, if you're saying what's harder to do, roll a 300 or make the U.S. Olympic team handball team, absolutely make the U.S.

Speaker 1 team Olympic handball team is easier than rolling a 300.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. I would also say that rolling a 200 if you've had two light beers and you're around a bunch of people smoking cigarettes in a bowling alley is harder than rolling a 300 sober.

Speaker 1 What do you guys think about my long-standing theory that I could beat everyone in the world at least at one sport?

Speaker 4 I think that goes for everyone. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, but looking at this list makes me even more confident. I think if I went up against LeBron in all of these sports right now, one of these I would beat him in.

Speaker 4 They only list 60 sports, and there are at least 50 other sports in the world.

Speaker 1 Dude, I beat him in auto racing. He doesn't drive.

Speaker 4 He's drunk all the time. He has a driver that takes him around.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Who knows if I could... Maybe I beat him in calf rope, but maybe I get lucky one time.

Speaker 4 I could beat LeBron James in

Speaker 4 fishing, horse racing, cheerleading, table tennis. Cheerleading.
No, no, he's a great cheerleader. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, he's not. He never supports his teammates.
No, he's his teammates.

Speaker 4 He does when he's at an all-star game. No,

Speaker 4 it doesn't say say cheerleading when up a lot okay all right gotcha just says cheerleading i'm gonna take back water skiing because he's fucking awesome on the banana boat

Speaker 1 uh all right well good list i got mad about it um

Speaker 1 and and team handball come on what were you gonna say well i think handball is like hard if you never picked up a ball before but if you have other balls up a ball exactly so it's like right that's our point but easiest i think fishing is really hard yeah it is i haven't i've like never caught a fish ever yeah and i've like fished multiple times.

Speaker 1 All right. You have to use Jake.
Jake, go get a string. We'll go to fucking Larry's tank.
Okay. And we'll catch you a fish.
That's awesome. And then we'll put it back.
Okay.

Speaker 4 And but you have to take your Twitter profile as a picture of you holding your fish.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put it really close to the camera because that looks huge. Yeah.
Go ahead. Yeah.
All right. Let's finish up our show.

Speaker 1 Eric Andre coming on Friday, by the way. Get excited.
Eric Andre coming on Friday. And Magnetic Documentary Review.
Hank, guys on Chicks. Let's finish this up.

Speaker 1 If a girl makes poops jokes, is she cool or is she being weird because girls don't poop?

Speaker 4 Yeah, she's a liar.

Speaker 1 Poopy sticks.

Speaker 4 Poop jokes always play.

Speaker 4 General rule of thumb. Just not at the dinner table and not during sex.

Speaker 1 Unless you're German. Then both.
Hey, Mr. 35, cat dog and honk.
My boyfriend has started going back to the gym, quote-unquote, every day, but comes home smelling like alcohol and weed.

Speaker 1 Do you think this is just a beers after trend, or is he just going out with his friends every night now that quarantine is basically over? How should I confront him?

Speaker 4 The gym would be a great name for a bar.

Speaker 1 Maybe they meet at the gym parking lot. I used to do that.
Like, sometimes me and my friends are like, oh, let's go to the gym. And then we get to the gym.

Speaker 1 Like, eh, we're here, but let's just go somewhere else. I got an easy solution.
So they start at the gym. Like, they're going to the gym to meet their friends to go somewhere else.

Speaker 1 Buy your boyfriend a whoop. Promo code take.
15% off. I love it.
And just see what happens. See what happens.
Hey, honey, how's your strain today?

Speaker 4 But speaking of bars reopening, I just had a great idea because I've always wanted to buy around.

Speaker 4 Like, this one's on me for the house.

Speaker 4 No, I haven't done it. Now it would be a great time to do it.

Speaker 1 For a small bar, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm going to do it. I'm going to go to like an outdoor bar with limited seating and be like, this one's on me, guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you go back to, like, a college town, it's very easy to do. Because you realize like beers can go to a college town.
Like, if you go to a college town and you're like, wait, beers are $2?

Speaker 4 It's a dollar.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
This round on me. Who is the best Yodeler of the three?

Speaker 1 Yodle, Yodle, Yodeler.

Speaker 1 You're big cat. Big cat.
Big cat. I was just giving it a shot.
Give it a shot.

Speaker 4 Just like you learned from what's his name, Mason Ramsey.

Speaker 1 Go give it a shot. Yo, Le, Yole, Yole.

Speaker 1 I got you.

Speaker 1 Well, go ahead, Hank.

Speaker 7 Give it a shot.

Speaker 1 No, give it a shot.

Speaker 1 Yodle, Yodale, Yodale,

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 1 I wasn't mentioned. Go ahead.
Try. Yo, Lei Yole.

Speaker 1 That was Billy not bad. Me

Speaker 1 We'll have a further competition at a later date.

Speaker 1 Sup, boys, especially Chonk Cat and Poppy Liam. My boyfriend of five years.

Speaker 1 What? Poppy Liam.

Speaker 1 P-A-P-I.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend of five years has decided to take up cooking. He has been cooking a bunch of meals for us, which is really nice, but the meals absolutely suck.

Speaker 1 It seems like they get worse and worse as time goes on. I was nice at first, saying they're good, but I'm at the point where I have to choke it down.

Speaker 1 How do I tell my boyfriend that his cooking is terrible without hurting his feelings? Can I ask a question before we get to this one?

Speaker 1 How is someone bad at cooking?

Speaker 4 You're not cooking the right stuff.

Speaker 1 But overcooking, like you overcook the meat.

Speaker 1 Undercook the meat. How do you not follow directions?

Speaker 1 I mean, have you seen Billy cook steaks? Just raw meat on.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying I'm a bad cook, but I'm saying if I, like, whenever I do cook, I follow directions and it comes out at least average. I think Billy is a perfect example.

Speaker 1 He goes to the store, he buys a pound of steak, and then he he takes that steak and puts it on the grill, and then it's like, I cooked.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I think what you got to do is that you got to set him up for success here.
You have to say, can we do taco night?

Speaker 4 And then if you do taco night, it's just all he has to do is just cook ground beef, and then you really put it together yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So being his prep cook.

Speaker 1 But I feel like that's what, I mean, I struggle with that too. My girlfriend roasted me.
She's like, you don't season anything. Like, you don't really like.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, I do the simple, as simple as possible. So it's probably the, he's probably not doing any prepping.

Speaker 4 He jumped. You know what happened to him?

Speaker 4 He watched too much Food Network, and he went from zero to 60 instead of starting by making blue box mac and cheese, learn the basics, and then down the line, you can start graduating to things like actual food.

Speaker 1 Hey, boys, especially Big Cat. Last night I hooked up with a guy, and when he pulled out the condom, it was gone.
Did he not put on a condom, or is it still inside me?

Speaker 1 It's inside you. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You gotta fish that thing out.

Speaker 4 Get Billy. Piss it out.
Billy will go fish.

Speaker 1 Get piss as hard as you possibly can. Yeah, Billy will come.

Speaker 1 For anyone who is looking for a condom to be fished out, Billy is at your service.

Speaker 1 Officially, you're signed up for that.

Speaker 1 All right, last one. Can you learn to be handy, or is that something you're born with? Or is it like some people who are more musically inclined or are better athletes?

Speaker 4 I think the most you can hope for, if we're talking about repairing stuff, appliances and shit, is

Speaker 4 find someone if they're not handy that can at least watch a YouTube video, learn that skill for 30 minutes, and then forget it again. Yeah, that's where I'm at in life.

Speaker 1 I can't cook when I'm handy.

Speaker 4 To find handy people.

Speaker 1 Well, the question is: can you learn to be handy or is it something you're born with? I think it's like grittiness. I think it's something you find with it.

Speaker 1 Can you learn to be handy, Billy, or is it something you're born with? I mean, like, I'm building a chicken coop right now. Can you learn to be handy or is it something you're born with?

Speaker 1 I think it's more of a desire.

Speaker 4 I think it's directly corresponding to how many uncles you grow up around. If you've got a shitload of uncles, then you're going to at least know how to change a tire.

Speaker 1 Breaking news. Breaking news.

Speaker 1 Breaking moves.

Speaker 1 From our good friend Stephen Che. He just texted and said, I hope you didn't finish taping PMT.

Speaker 1 Big Ben just admitted to previously being addicted to porn.

Speaker 4 Thanks, Stephen.

Speaker 1 Breaking Moose from Stephen Che.

Speaker 4 Good job, Stephen.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 For a secondary text,

Speaker 1 I was like really nervous that we missed something huge story. Nope, just a story from like seven hours ago.

Speaker 4 What does it mean to be addicted to porn?

Speaker 1 I think it's the there's a true life.

Speaker 1 Dude, there's a true life about it. There was in the guy who stopped watching it.
Yeah, no, he literally just sat at home for 20 hours just fucking jerking off. Furious.

Speaker 4 I think the problem, if you watch porn and don't masturbate, then that's an issue. If you watch porn because it just money for you.

Speaker 1 No, dude, this guy was like, he wouldn't leave his house for days on end because he just was just watching porn. I think.
His life just became a porn.

Speaker 4 Probably 90% of America has been technically addicted to porn for the last three months.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should have our good friend Glenny Balls on.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Do you think Philip Rivers is addicted to porn? No,

Speaker 4 he doesn't waste the real stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think Glenn's addicted to porn. He just happens to have like six virtual reality goggles.

Speaker 1 And he's also best friends with porn speakers. He's great.
That just happens. Right.
He just becomes best friends.

Speaker 1 They just find him.

Speaker 1 I think he might be addicted.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 See every real friend.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.