Shark Tank's Barbara Corcoran, Deep Dive With Billy Football, ARod saved Sports + Mt Flushmore

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 3 She got our personal email addresses, sent us an email saying that she loved us and wants us to come work for Barbara Corcoran Incorporated.

Speaker 3 This was probably about two months ago, so I don't know if that offer still stands. We've been going back and forth, actually.

Speaker 3 Yeah, awesome interview with her.

Speaker 3 We have Billy Football. And new, instead of Monday reading, we're doing Monday deep dives with Billy Football while quarantine lasts.
So this week we're going to do a deep dive on bears.

Speaker 3 We learned a lot of bear facts. This is the only place you're going to learn a lot of bear facts on a Monday sports podcast.

Speaker 4 Well, initially, it was just straight up hibernation, but we found out, and you'll come along this journey with us. Billy took us to a more interesting place overall.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 we got all deep into bears. We found out about everything about bears.

Speaker 3 We have Who's Back of the Week, Mount Flushmore, and more. And before we do that, part of my take.

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Speaker 6 It's pardon my take

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Speaker 3 Today is Monday, March 30th. The Final Four is set.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 4 it's not.

Speaker 3 I'll do this. It's the weekends that really hurt me.
I'm actually fine during the week because I keep myself busy and there's things going on. It's the weekends.
I told you guys.

Speaker 4 There's no difference between doing nothing.

Speaker 3 Yes, doing nothing is dead because all I do is nothing.

Speaker 3 I get so bummed out on the weekends. I wish the weekends didn't exist.

Speaker 4 Okay, all right. Let's let's restart this because we're going to

Speaker 3 do my path right now. No, I want to do my alternate.

Speaker 3 I want to hype you up real quick. No, I was going to do my alternate.
It was just going to be that the A-Rod Corp has solved coronavirus, so we're fine.

Speaker 3 We'll be back in a minute, we'll be back in a minute because

Speaker 3 sports will probably be back before you even know because President Trump called up A-Rod on Friday night and

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Two greatest business minds in the world getting together. Little powwow.

Speaker 4 Master of never ever testing positive for anything himself, A-Rod.

Speaker 4 Look it up.

Speaker 3 Fact. That's a fact.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 4 He earned his 10 stripes.

Speaker 4 He's the new Yankee captain. In fact, A-Rod,

Speaker 4 I think we could all learn a lot from A-Rod in these trying times. And that's just like, go back to your business, project success.
You'll be fine.

Speaker 3 What do you mean, project success?

Speaker 3 He doesn't have success.

Speaker 4 No, I'm saying when you're A-Rod, he's the best winners of all time. A-Rod was great at alienating his teammates so much that he was natural.

Speaker 3 let me tell you a little story about A-Rod, PFT, a little story about sports here. A-Rod, people don't really know what to do.
I'm just saying, I'm giving him credit. He is the one to go to.

Speaker 3 But A-Rod,

Speaker 3 every year, would buy every new player on the team, every rookie who was coming up, three new custom-made suits. He would do that.
He'd take him to his tailor.

Speaker 3 He'd buy him three suits and say, this is how you have to dress. You're in the big leagues now, kid.
And guess what? That didn't get publicity because that's just the type of guy A-Rod is.

Speaker 4 How many suits has he got you, Big Cat?

Speaker 3 What did you say? How many suits has he got you?

Speaker 3 Like 15, 20.

Speaker 3 Well, maybe A-Rod should do that.

Speaker 4 A-Rod should do that for all the doctors and nurses. Get them brand new personal protective equipment.

Speaker 3 Sure, he will. I'm sure he will.

Speaker 4 How did people find out about him buying suits for everybody? Because it didn't get out there. I just told the story.

Speaker 3 I'm breaking the news right now. Okay, that's huge.

Speaker 4 Can I just let me just gas you up real quick? Because you are, I know that you and Hank both had rough weekends, and I want you guys to be okay.

Speaker 4 So, like five minutes before the show started, I just wrote down some things that I love about you guys. You ready?

Speaker 3 Sure.

Speaker 4 Okay, I love the Cat Cave Derby.

Speaker 3 No way will this be a joke. I love it.

Speaker 4 It's not. I love the cat cave.
I haven't watched it, but I love

Speaker 3 a lot of joy.

Speaker 4 No, I love that it brings you joy. I love that you do it.

Speaker 3 Well, if you watch it tonight, I was not happy because I'm bummed. I actually, oh, what happened? I'm just bummed.
Sundays bummed me out.

Speaker 3 All I can think about is the fact that we should be horses. No, we should be getting the final four right now.
I'm telling you, the the weekends are worse than

Speaker 4 Big Cat's living room has turned into the new Santa Anita racetrack. He's just like throwing horses all over the place.
Hank, I actually realize this day I miss your yawns.

Speaker 3 I really do. I mean,

Speaker 4 I miss the sound of them. I miss how weird they are.
It's like, you know, in Goodwill Hunting, when Robin Williams is like, you know, my wife's farts, that's the stuff that I miss.

Speaker 4 I miss Hank's yawns. I'm as Bob as John's.

Speaker 4 I miss his fits.

Speaker 7 My life is basically a giant series of yawns now. So I'll just FaceTime you one day.
Yeah, I actually

Speaker 3 feel like I'm sick, but I'm not sick.

Speaker 3 Because, you know, when you have, when you actually are sick and you stay home, you know, because you're sick for like a week and you have that feeling of I haven't been outside.

Speaker 3 I haven't really done anything. I have that without being sick.
And it's just this weird, like, kind of no man's land that we're all just living in at this point.

Speaker 7 There's one for me, there's like a part of like the natural procrastinator in me, like likes to push things off.

Speaker 3 But if it's like too long of a break,

Speaker 7 then I have nothing to like push it off till. It's like, oh, I'll push it off a week and do it next week.
Okay, I could push this off a month and nothing's going to be going on in a month.

Speaker 3 I'm happy you brought that up, Hank, because I've been thinking a lot about this.

Speaker 3 I like this, this whole two weeks that we've had off, and it's going to go for another four weeks, has made me realize that I may never be able to retire because I'm like a worker bee that needs to be working.

Speaker 3 Except, do you think I could if i had the ability to still gamble on sports at night would that keep me working enough because that's the part

Speaker 4 you have to pay your you'd have to pay your gambling debts no no no you know

Speaker 3 no no you're not you don't understand what i'm saying i'm saying do you like right now i would not i i can't maintain this life like i need to be busy i need to be doing something it's driving me crazy it's driving my brain crazy but would

Speaker 3 If sports existed right now and I wasn't working, would I be able to survive by just gambling at night? And I think the the answer is yes, but I don't know. Yes.

Speaker 4 No, I definitely think that it would make all the difference in the entire world.

Speaker 3 You can look forward to.

Speaker 4 Forget about even just sports, but like any sort of live event happening anywhere. Just like I need life to be happening around me.
It's like God has put us all on punishment.

Speaker 4 Like God has grounded America or just the world. He's grounded the world because probably we didn't take like 3,000 years of thou shalt not kill seriously.
He's putting his foot down.

Speaker 4 But that's what it feels like. It feels just like we're back in middle school when you weren't allowed to leave your room and you didn't have a TV in there.

Speaker 4 That's what this feels like, just an extended period of time.

Speaker 3 Yes, it sucks. It sucks.

Speaker 7 So still haven't thought about reading, but no.

Speaker 4 Well, I, so I thought about reading today. I picked up a book and it's come to that.
I was about to tweet out. Literally, it's come to this.

Speaker 4 I'm reading a book and there are no pictures, but then I realized that all I had done was picked up my book. And then I was like, I should tweet that I'm reading a book.

Speaker 4 And I immediately put my book down to tweet it out. And I was like, what am I, what am I doing right now? I'm tweeting that I'm reading reading a book that I haven't started yet.

Speaker 4 So yeah, life is what happens in between clout chasing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it sucks. It sucks.
But here we are. The only other stories we had that are sports adjacent besides A-Rod Saving America, which I'm sure will happen very soon.

Speaker 3 James Dolan got the big C, the Rona. And

Speaker 3 Nick's fans everywhere. Now, we're obviously not rooting against anyone who has the Rona.
We want everyone to be healthy.

Speaker 3 But Knicks fans, they did have like three minutes there where our guy Shams tweeted that he had the Rona and then three minutes later was like he is not suffering or experiencing any symptoms at this moment and is fine in his Uber mansion somewhere on Long Island or the Hamptons or wherever the fuck he lives.

Speaker 3 And that was like Nick's fans, you could feel collectively New York City. Couldn't get lower and then it got lower because they were raised for a minute.

Speaker 4 I'll say this about James Dolan and the Rona scare. It was a good test of everybody just to see like how cold-hearted and cold-blooded we really are.
And I think that as Americans, we passed it.

Speaker 4 There weren't that many jokes about James Dolan. Oh, not that I saw.

Speaker 3 I don't think he followed up Knicks fans. No, I do.

Speaker 4 And the prevailing sentiment was,

Speaker 4 I really hope that he's okay.

Speaker 4 And I hope that he does everything that he can to possibly focus on his health, including stepping away from the team and just taking the time, getting the best, put him on a ship, take him to Antarctica, keep him totally in isolation.

Speaker 4 Uh-uh. He can't hurt us anymore.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 I think this is one of those times that your Twitter feed might be too NFL-centric because there was a lot of people who are wishing for him not to get better off of it.

Speaker 3 A lot of Knicks fans that were like, hallelujah, were free. So

Speaker 3 I actually think they passed the test there. I was like, I would actually be worried for Knicks fans if they didn't have that reaction.
It means that they still have sports hatred in their blood.

Speaker 3 They can still feel passion about about the man that has given them absolutely nothing for the last couple of decades.

Speaker 7 I saw more people reacting to the tweet that said, but he has no symptoms. Yes.
He's doing fine. Angrily than I did anyone else saying anything.

Speaker 3 They were so mad.

Speaker 4 Well, when the no symptoms tweet comes up, that's when it's everyone's like, okay, we can joke about this a little bit and it's good. We're good to go.
You need to have that like all clear from Shems.

Speaker 4 And yeah, I don't know. Maybe I do follow too many NFL accounts because most of the things I saw were just people being like,

Speaker 4 I'm not going to comment on this, but you know what I would say if I wanted to comment on it.

Speaker 3 Or like Cam Newton really should be signed by now as James Dolan is fighting the Rona. But yeah, no, I actually was happy that Knicks fans had the reaction.

Speaker 3 Like, I was like, good, you guys still feel the passion because I've said this before, but the farther we get away, it's we're in this weird spot where

Speaker 3 life is so weird, but every day that it's weird, it becomes normal. Because, like, today was weird, but it's the same as yesterday, so now it's normal.

Speaker 4 Right, it's a new normal, right? And I'm going to go back to what we talked about last week: how we're not getting any medals or anything like that for sheltering in place, doing that sort of thing.

Speaker 4 First of all, I feel like we should create a part of my take pandemic response team, and we can give out awards or t-shirts or whatever to people who are staying in place because we do need a pat on the back, and it's not our fault.

Speaker 4 Because I blame boomers for giving us participation trophies. So we're used to getting rewarded for doing stuff.

Speaker 4 We need a participation trophy for not participating in anything, like a non-participation trophy. We need to be rewarded with something like that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, I agree.

Speaker 3 I've been mad about it for two weeks now. I want people to start telling us, good job, because

Speaker 3 my brain is simple like that.

Speaker 3 I can't continue to do nothing and stay in my house if Andrew Cuomo doesn't get in front of everyone in

Speaker 3 his golf polo shirt and tell me, hey, you're doing a good job.

Speaker 4 keep doing it keep it up right i need something i need something i need the attaboys in the form of his powerpoints correct like and i need andrew cuomo to open up uh powerpoint and have clippy come out and clippy be like hey it looks like you're confronting a global pandemic would you like some help figuring out who to give a pat on the back to hit up the millennials that's what i need to happen right now i need to feel better about myself um and i don't know i i've i've been going to some weird places i got into sleep podcasts yesterday have you listened to any sleep podcasts can't say i have Yeah, it's just a person that talks until you fall asleep.

Speaker 3 The Matthew McConaughey one?

Speaker 4 Well, no, it's essentially the Jay Mariotti show, but intentionally he's talking and trying to get away.

Speaker 3 That was a Rick Riley.

Speaker 3 That's a big time.

Speaker 4 Hank laid me up for that one. But if you listen to it, it's actually like bizarre stuff.
You keep listening to it and be like, is this guy hypnotizing me?

Speaker 4 And all he does is he just like rambles on and he's like, don't feel any pressure to fall asleep, but you're probably going to start falling asleep soon. Before I knew it, I was out.

Speaker 3 That's what I'm going to end up doing is just like competing against myself to see how long i could stay awake listening to put you to sleep podcasts no i've been doing the opposite where right before i go to sleep i hop on uh twitter and click the trends about coronavirus and then just fill my entire body with like crippling anxiety so then i don't sleep well that's why i need the go-to sleep it's super healthy it's been really healthy

Speaker 3 it's a really good time because you do that in the morning yeah like hey hey did you see that story about the infant dying in Illinois? That was a, I had no sleep that night. That was fucking cool.

Speaker 3 Like, that's basically what I do every single night. So maybe I will try the sleep podcast.

Speaker 3 And then the only other story we had that was, you know, adjacent to sports. What is sports? Roger Goodell.
Thank God.

Speaker 3 Who would have thought we would be in this spot where even the most adamant Roger Goodell haters have to say, thank you, Roger Goodell,

Speaker 3 for holding the draft

Speaker 3 in spite of a global pandemic. Hank,

Speaker 3 you went to jail fighting against Roger Goodell, and even you have to say thank you for giving us something

Speaker 3 in this next month.

Speaker 7 Yes, but the way that he acts like he's above reproach and says that if anyone comments on it or comes at him, they're going to face harsh fines or penalties.

Speaker 3 How can you appreciate that?

Speaker 4 Because he's a wartime commissioner, dude. We're at war against an invisible enemy, and you need to have a unified front.
So you can't, there's no time for dissent amongst the ranks in the NFL.

Speaker 4 Like Jerry Jones is already going insane right now. They're negotiating a long-term deal with Dak right after they franchise tagged him.
He like these owners are going nuts.

Speaker 4 They need a strong leader to keep them on the path to the draft. And we need to, we need to have some sense of normalcy.
So give me the draft.

Speaker 3 Yes. I agree.
I'm pro the draft.

Speaker 7 I'm just anti-Cadel being like, no one say anything to me or else that's fucked up.

Speaker 3 That's exactly what he should be doing because guess what? Then little piss ants like you start being like, hey, Roger, we shouldn't be doing this little draft thing during a pandemic.

Speaker 3 We got to squat you away and be like, Hey, you know what the people need? They need something that's not crippling anxiety about Christmas. That's right.

Speaker 7 How is that going to look, by the way? Like, how is that going to work?

Speaker 4 It's going to look great. It's going to look wonderful on television.
It's going to look like there's sports. It's going to look really cool.

Speaker 4 And as the son of United States Senator, if there's something that he hates, it's draft dodgers like you, Hank. Okay, so straighten up, fly right, respect the shield.
Please, thank you.

Speaker 3 Fall in line, Hank. All right.

Speaker 7 I, I, did you guys see the video of that old guy talking about Warren Sharp tweeted it?

Speaker 3 Yes. The Super Bowl ground.
Football guy of the century.

Speaker 7 And he was talking about how the NFL Shield, he basically risked going to jail for the Shield. So in that regard,

Speaker 7 that inspired me to respect the Shield a little bit.

Speaker 3 And he said when he dies, he wants the NFL Shield on his heart.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I mean, so after that, it's hard for me not to have a little bit more respect for the Shield.
Not because of Goodell, but because of that guy.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 4 Hank, do you really not want the draft to happen on schedule no i that's what i'm pro the draft i want the draft like everything about that is good i'm i'm all for it it's just the way that goodell then had to be like and if you have anything negative to say about it like don't bother That was the best part of it when Goodell is like, if you're going to have anything, if you're going to, if you're going to say anything in the press that goes against what I want, I'm going to find the shit out of you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's vintage Goodell.

Speaker 3 That's great. That's great, Hank.
Anything that's close to what normal life looks like, like Roger Goodell saying, you better not say one bad thing about me, that I'm all for all of that.

Speaker 4 We need an enemy. We need an enemy.

Speaker 3 It's normal life to return. Roger Goodell being a dictator is normal life.

Speaker 4 I need Goodell to like deliver pizzas to every single general manager in the NFL for draft night, and they're not allowed to take a slice until he has a bite of his. That's what I want.

Speaker 4 Yes, I want Fiora Goodell back and in charge of everything.

Speaker 4 And by the way, I I think every general manager in the league is freaking out right now because if we're being honest it's a terrible idea from a talent evaluation side of things to like have this draft when you can't go see him it's impacting like pro days and shit it would what's gonna happen is it's gonna give the teams that have that have their shit together such a huge leg up on every other team that might not have like invested or scouts all that stuff so you're telling me pft that teams might screw up the draft that can i'm telling you that that can't be true more screw-ups in the draft this year than usual.

Speaker 3 I mean, all these, no team knows what they're doing. There's no team has like great drafts year in and year out.

Speaker 4 John Noah's going to try to draft Jake Fromm twice.

Speaker 3 It doesn't happen.

Speaker 3 It's actually, if anything, it's actually good because they now have an excuse for why they screwed up their draft, which they were going to screw up anyway.

Speaker 4 So it is actually going to be very funny to watch all these football guys.

Speaker 3 2021 is a year of excuses.

Speaker 4 Like a Zoom meeting from across the country live during the draft.

Speaker 4 Like if you you thought that the Minnesota Vikings couldn't turn in their draft cards on time before it was all done via gotomeeting.com or whatever, imagine Mike Zimmer trying to figure that out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, this is going to be the greatest excuse ever because guess what? They always screwed up anyway. I mean, everyone screws up the draft all the time.
People, I mean, do you see that stat?

Speaker 3 That was, it's a little different because Cam Newton obviously is, well, he might be a starter, but it was

Speaker 3 seven quarterbacks taken in the first five picks from 2010 to 2015, and none have a starting job right now. Yeah.
But the pandemic will probably screw up their evaluation.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's the pandemic is going to be a very convenient thing.

Speaker 4 They're going to try to be re-signing Drew Brees for the next like 15 years.

Speaker 3 This might be a time for my boy Sam Bradford to get back in the mix.

Speaker 4 What is it? Is he on a team right now?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 4 But he was the best quarterback in the NFL two years ago.

Speaker 3 Completion percentage-wise. It was three years ago, I think.
But yes, yes.

Speaker 3 All right, let's do who's back before we get to barbara corcoran then we're gonna do a mount flushmore and billy football on the other side of babs hank why don't you start

Speaker 7 uh my who's back of the week is the ozarks yes yes i don't watch the show yet i'm gonna start i think because everyone everyone says it's a good show but i see a lot of a lot of people talking about it i also The same way where I couldn't like stop my brain from calling him exotic Joe, I can't stop calling it the Ozarks.

Speaker 7 Yes,

Speaker 7 people get very frustrated.

Speaker 4 It's a good show.

Speaker 4 The show is mostly comprised of just Jason Bateman leaving places and then his wife leaving a place and then them arriving at another place and them driving away from a place.

Speaker 4 It's mostly just like getting, yeah, getting into your car and then driving down the street is most of the show. And then when that's not happening, someone's getting killed.

Speaker 4 So it's a pretty good show.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 it is one of those shows that it's entertaining and I'm not going to give any spoilers, but it's... I don't, I don't, like, I don't feel for any character.
Like, I'm not attached to any character.

Speaker 3 Like, when you watch the Sopranos, you get attached to characters. When you watch The Wire, you get attached to characters.

Speaker 3 I don't give a fuck about any of these people, but you watch it, and it's like, there's drama, so it's good.

Speaker 4 I like the old man that lives with them.

Speaker 3 Yes. He's cool.

Speaker 7 Okay. That's it.
I've also been watching Hunters,

Speaker 7 if you're curious.

Speaker 3 Oh, is it good?

Speaker 4 Started that one's pretty good.

Speaker 7 Super, super intense. All right, I gotta watch it.

Speaker 4 I gotta watch it. It's good if you hate Nazis like us.
We are the number one anti-Nazi.

Speaker 7 PFT called it like the Avengers, which I has still has made no sense to me as I've been watching it, but I enjoyed that comparison.

Speaker 4 Well, to be fair to me, I haven't seen The Avengers, but I was saying it's like the Avengers, but they fight Nazis. From what I've

Speaker 4 gleaned online from memes about The Avengers, yeah, definitely. It's basically the same show.

Speaker 3 It's like

Speaker 3 Inglorious Bastards if they were all superheroes. But yeah, none of them are superheroes.
They're not superheroes.

Speaker 3 It's like Inglorious Bastards if they were all bathing.

Speaker 4 It's basically just Inglorious Bastards as a TV show.

Speaker 3 Oh, fuck. All right, PFT, what's yours?

Speaker 4 Okay, my who's back of the week is Britney Spears. She ran, she set a world record in the 100-meter dash.

Speaker 4 She ran 100 meters in 5.97 seconds on a treadmill, which is four seconds faster than Usain Bolt, I think, ever did it. So congratulations to our queen.
We don't need the Olympics right now.

Speaker 4 Britney Spears has won them probably for the rest of forever because no one's going to break that record.

Speaker 3 That's incredible. That's very, very fast.

Speaker 4 I mean, she's always been pretty athletic. And there are a lot of haters out there that are like, well, no, that can't be right because she just posted a screenshot of the stopwatch app on her iPhone.

Speaker 4 It's like, yeah, and it says 5.97 seconds on it. And then she put a picture of her running on the treadmill.
So I don't know what the problem is here.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 I fail to see the issue. So who wins a race? You or Britney Spears?

Speaker 4 I think she could beat me.

Speaker 4 Let's put it this way. The Raiders are probably going to draft her first overall this year.

Speaker 3 By the way, did you see?

Speaker 3 I think Mel Kuyper said Jordan Love to the Raiders, which would be awesome because Jordan Love is like the perfect huge hands, big arm guy that the Raiders like still don't change much.

Speaker 3 Keep doing you, Raiders. Love it.

Speaker 7 I don't care why the Raiders don't have Cam Newton, but yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I mean, I guess, I guess, because he can't.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it might have something to do with the fact that he's bad now.

Speaker 3 Have you seen seen his Instagram videos? Oh, he's physical as fuck. Yeah, he is.
He's so physical. I actually, did I, I don't know what

Speaker 3 time doesn't exist anymore, but I did read an article where it was like Cam Newton's shoulder is not the problem. It was actually his foot injury last year.

Speaker 3 I can't remember if I mentioned that on this show.

Speaker 4 It's probably a combination of the two.

Speaker 3 No, it was actually like someone smarter than any of us did like the mapped out his throws.

Speaker 3 And it was all his throws to the right were his inaccurate throws and to the middle and to the left were accurate so if his shoulder was hurt he wouldn't be able to throw to the left it you know accurately it was basically his plant foot and the right throws that were screwing him up which was the liz frank's injury okay so

Speaker 4 so john noon the problem was the foot if you're john grooden i think john gruden's actually just gun shy about hiring any single nfl player that has an instagram account after what happened last year with antonio brown true like if he hears the term social media around a player that he's evaluating, he's like, I'm out.

Speaker 4 That social media, it's the devil's work.

Speaker 3 I've been recorded against my will once. I can't have this again.
Which was the coolest hype video of all time. But

Speaker 3 wonderful. All right.
My who's back is my health. I'm getting back, boys.
I'm all the way back.

Speaker 3 I'm done feeling bad for myself.

Speaker 3 I got the vest. I told you guys.
I look kind of like a cop in the vest or like a Brinks truck driver.

Speaker 7 Do you have it?

Speaker 3 I have the vest, yeah.

Speaker 3 Hold on, I'll put it on.

Speaker 4 Okay. So, yeah, I was saying it looks like a bulletproof vest last week.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this is it.

Speaker 4 Okay, that's pretty sweet. How many pounds you got in that sucker right now?

Speaker 3 60 right now,

Speaker 3 but it can actually get up,

Speaker 4 it can get up to 100.

Speaker 4 All right, so why don't you have the hundred pounds?

Speaker 3 I'm working my way up there. All right, so I got the vest, I got the tactical glasses for my eyesight, and then I got my altitude training mask in yesterday.
That's pretty much this guy.

Speaker 4 The Marshawn Lynch lynch thing yeah

Speaker 4 it limits the oxygen you can get in it

Speaker 3 it basically just limits all the oxygen to your brain so you kind of suffocate yourself but you also feel like you're training at a really high altitude so you're getting high right i like i'm at 18 000 feet right now i'm at 18 000 feet

Speaker 4 into thin air big cat edition i like it that's cool i i just ordered a sun lamp today off amazon because i'm sick of being inside all the time i feel like that's probably going to help a lot with the depression that we're all going through, right?

Speaker 3 Just like being able to see some sun. Fun story about sun lamps.
When

Speaker 3 I have the worst luck, professional luck, pretty much of anyone in history, because

Speaker 3 I got into the casino business January of 2020, and then this happened. But my other bad luck was I got into the real estate business

Speaker 3 August of 2007, and then the world came down. But when everything was going bad, and I was working in real estate,

Speaker 3 my boss got a sunlamp, and he was like, he was like, no, I'm fine. And he would just sit in front of the sunlamp.
I was like, I feel like you're not that fine.

Speaker 3 So it seems like history is repeating itself. So you're fine.
Exactly what I did today. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I walked into his office and he just had this huge lamp in his face. I'm like, are you okay? Like, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just, you know, just trying to get a little extra.

Speaker 4 I'm glad I'm grasping at straws here. Okay.
I'm grasping at straws. I'm just, I thought that the sun lamp was going to be the cure to all my problems.
Like, no sports, that's fine.

Speaker 4 Just go stand in front of the sun lamp for 60 minutes and don't say a word.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so yeah, so history repeats itself. We're back here.
Um, this vest is really fucking heavy. I'm gonna do my ad in the vest, though.

Speaker 3 I can already feel my heart rate goes up so fast when I put this vest on. It's fucking awesome.
And I got my Fitbit too. I forgot I'm back in the Fitbit game.
So it's like I'm all these things.

Speaker 3 I'm just adding up. I'm gonna end up being Superman.
And look at this. Ready? Check this bad boy out.

Speaker 3 See this?

Speaker 3 That's no

Speaker 7 terrible job.

Speaker 4 what is that it's bad what is that it's a head massager okay yeah you told us about the head massager

Speaker 3 yeah it's like to get your brain going yeah you know what i think is definitely going to kill me here's what we should get we should get the uh electronic shock thing that trevor bauer uses to learn stuff faster i'm down i'm down i mean this one that one i should have it's like you know the old saying like never buy a cheap suit because it's just you buy a cheap suit and it's a cheap suit and it's going to fall apart never buy like a cheap electronic thing that you have to attach to your brain because you'll probably die i think that's the same no you got to invest and you get what you put into it yes exactly um all right let's do uh barbara corcoran before we do that couple couple sponsors real quick What's up, guys?

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Okay, here she is, Barbara Corcoran.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, ready, Hank? All right, here we go.
You're a girl or a boy? I'm a boy. I'm a girl.
Keep that in.

Speaker 6 Oh, no.

Speaker 6 You want to say? I told you, she's spicy.

Speaker 6 I don't want to say that. I told you the leading question.

Speaker 6 This is Barbara Corcoran. You know her.
She's a founder of the Corcoran Group, and she is an investor on Shark Tank. She's also a podcaster.
Business Unusual is one of her podcasts.

Speaker 6 888 Barbara is her other.

Speaker 6 So you have gotten into podcasting. You just dissed PFT, which was.

Speaker 8 I just asked you. No, it's not.

Speaker 6 This is the art of the deal. You nagged somebody right off the bat.

Speaker 6 Now you feel like you have control over the situation.

Speaker 8 No, not at all. Is that what it is? What are you, a shrink or something?

Speaker 6 Oh, we'll get into it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, did you see your shrink?

Speaker 8 No, I spent a lot of money on shrinks. They didn't help.
Yes.

Speaker 6 All right. So, so you, so your podcast.
Tell us what made you. Everyone's got a podcast now.
Why are you trying to encroach? We're not going and selling houses.

Speaker 6 We're not going and doing real estate deals. Why are you doing this to us?

Speaker 8 Because I'm better at it than you are.

Speaker 8 And that's the truth, okay?

Speaker 8 You know, everybody's got their sweet spot. You know, we're good at certain things.
We're bad at certain things. My sweet spot is I give great advice.
I always have.

Speaker 8 And I think the reason for that is I've walked in a lot of shoes. So you could pay your local shrink for advice.
It's all theoretical.

Speaker 8 I've walked it, eaten it, done it, gotten over it, and I give great advice. I just give damn good advice.
I know that.

Speaker 6 What's harder to do?

Speaker 6 Make a million-dollar real estate deal or record one podcast?

Speaker 8 Oh my God, a million dollar deal is so much harder. You have to put in long-term effort.

Speaker 8 You have to get a whole team of people cooperating. When you have a podcast, you're talking to one person.
You say whatever you want. It's easy.

Speaker 6 Okay, so I got this question. So the

Speaker 6 putting in, doing like a million-dollar deal,

Speaker 6 when you have it all set up and it falls through at the end, are you able to get over it quickly? Is that part of why you've been successful? Or do those kind of things linger on you?

Speaker 8 Honestly, it's not just me. I've managed salespeople my whole life.
I had a thousand salespeople. I could tell you the top 10 outsold and out-earned 10 to 1 what everybody else was doing.

Speaker 8 And when I really analyzed over the years what the secret ingredient is, it wasn't their connections. It wasn't their personality.
It wasn't anything. It was exactly what you just said.

Speaker 8 How long they take to feel sorry for themselves. We all do.
I mean, we're not, we have blood in our veins, but it's how long it takes them to say, oh, poor me, and get right back up.

Speaker 8 It's like my best people, including myself, had average IQs, or maybe even on the stupid side, because you're too stupid to lay low when you get smashed.

Speaker 8 And that takes a certain personality type, and that is what gets everybody over all failure, not just real estate deals. That's the magic.
That's the magic of people who succeed.

Speaker 8 I really believe that.

Speaker 6 That actually is very, that works for our favorite sport, football.

Speaker 6 We talk about it all the time, that you want to have that perfect amount of intelligence where you're just dumb enough to think when you throw a bad interception that you can get back out there.

Speaker 6 and it will be completely different.

Speaker 8 Really?

Speaker 6 And like to

Speaker 6 have a bad play and be like, you know what? I can just forget about this and not overanalyze it.

Speaker 6 Sometimes there's quarterbacks or players that are too smart for their own good, where they actually overthink it, and it's paralysis by analysis. Of course, yeah.

Speaker 6 Josh Rosen is like, so I'd be a good football player. Yeah, you

Speaker 6 do everything. I think you're not lacking in confidence.
Has anyone said you're lacking in confidence?

Speaker 8 No, but I think I'm not. I don't think I'm going to be a good football player, honestly.

Speaker 6 I've always thought that, so I had a background in sales. I sold pretty much anything under the map.
You name it. I slanged it.
I was the best salesperson I could be right after I sold something else.

Speaker 8 Why was that? Because you were bouncing off a high and you thought, I'm a mighty man, pounding your check. I can do anything.
Yeah. Yeah, you feel like you're doing it.

Speaker 6 Did that work? Yeah, worked really well.

Speaker 8 Before two deals, maybe.

Speaker 6 No, no.

Speaker 6 I sold cats. I sold used dogs.
I sold Christmas trees. I sold portable air conditioners, software, used cars.
And you know, I could put a honda. I'm not sure if I can do it.

Speaker 6 I'm not sure any of those things from here.

Speaker 8 Not a single one. And let me ask you, if you were such a good salesman, let me challenge that.
Okay. If you're such a good salesman, why did you hop from product to product to product?

Speaker 8 Good salespeople don't do that.

Speaker 6 Oh, Because there's a cap on my commissions when I was selling cats. And so then I moved up to dogs.
You're the weirdest thing.

Speaker 6 And then Christmas, the higher the ticket item, the more money you get paid.

Speaker 6 Also, I found that the higher the ticket item, the higher the dollar sign on whatever it is you're selling, a lot of times it's easier to sell the expensive thing than it is to sell the cheap thing.

Speaker 8 And why is that?

Speaker 6 Because the customers that try to buy a cheap thing, they're focused on the price and they'll just walk away at any given second.

Speaker 6 Customers that want to buy an expensive thing, they're focused on the other stuff that you can highlight for them.

Speaker 8 You got to tell me something I'm curious about. You're telling me that you went and sold high-priced shit to people with that haircut?

Speaker 6 No. No.
Oh, you look different back there. That's a good point.
Yeah, because I wouldn't buy anything. Right now, my only customer would be Kid Rock.

Speaker 6 If he needed a legacy software upgrade, then I could hook him up.

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah, of course you could.

Speaker 6 Does it work when you do like the

Speaker 6 when you're trying to sell something? You're like, this is a million and one dollars or this is $999,999? Because it works on me.

Speaker 8 Not necessarily in real estate, but when you're selling product, it works. There's magic points.
$49.99 is a perfect price.

Speaker 8 Yeah, all right. But if you're gonna sell real estate, $980 versus $8.80, no, when you go over a million dollars, it's in a different category.
People search differently online, so that's a problem.

Speaker 8 So I guess there's brackets and everything.

Speaker 6 Do you think that it would be easier to sell an apartment for a million and five dollars as opposed to selling one for nine hundred and ninety thousand and five dollars?

Speaker 8 I will tell you one thing. I negotiated many deals in my life, and I would be advising the buyer, and I never let them go in with a $9.90 offer.

Speaker 8 I always said, put it in at $990,045 or some shit like that. Why? Because what do you think the seller always said? Why that price? Because they've given it so much careful thought.

Speaker 8 They've really arrived at exactly the value. They want to really come in the sweet spot.
This is what they have to offer, and they mean it. That's taken seriously.

Speaker 8 Well, $45, but it made them credible, made it seem thoughtful, that offer. So you're not far off in what you're asking.
You have to really be creative in what you offer.

Speaker 6 I would assume that at some point, well, I'll give you an example.

Speaker 6 So I worked in a bar at one point, and in this bar, they had a margarita they had probably five different types of margaritas that ranged from seven dollars to fifteen dollars and then they had one that was a hundred dollars wow and don't tell me they sold a lot of those suckers well i was talking to the owner and he was telling me like what went in it was all the most expensive ingredients the most expensive tequila they could buy and in reality if they if they had the same margin on that cocktail as they did on the 15 one they should only been charging about $70

Speaker 6 as the market went on it. But they would sell more of them if they charged $100 than if they did at $70 because people are like, fuck yeah, $100.

Speaker 6 Let's go.

Speaker 8 Bragging rights for the guy who paid the bill.

Speaker 6 Me, man. Exactly.
But there's an element of you want to, if you pay more money for something, you feel better about your purchase.

Speaker 8 Oh, absolutely. If you could afford it.
Luxury idea. Or you feel bad the next day when you charge it and you can't afford it and you go, what the fuck was I doing?

Speaker 6 No, you call the credit card company. You're like, my card was stolen.
And you're fine. But you have it doing that.
Yeah, you can do that easily. You're like, oh, yeah,

Speaker 6 dispute the charge. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 6 When is the next real estate recession going to happen? I'd like to get ahead of that one.

Speaker 8 You know, there's already a real estate recession in New York. It's called the billionaire recession.
Okay. Anything that's multi-million dollars right now is sitting still.

Speaker 8 Prices are being negotiated a lot more than the developers will let you know because everybody's afraid of the market right now.

Speaker 8 But the interesting thing, there's always somebody who's willing to buy. And the part of the real estate market here in New York City, clearly right now, is under $3 million.

Speaker 8 And the more under three it is, it's a middle-class market. You know, if you're middle-class in Manhattan, you buy between $9.50 and $3 million.

Speaker 8 And that market is hopping, being overbid, it's steaming up. That's middle class?

Speaker 6 That's middle class for New York.

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that gets you a one-bedroom, by the way.
No, sometimes a two-bedroom for three.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can basically sleep with your head next to your oven.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but you know, real estate recessions, nobody sees them coming. I was wrong in the last one.
I said everything's great.

Speaker 6 I lost my shirt.

Speaker 8 I was long by a mile. I was wrong by a mile.
Of course I was. Yeah.
But you know what? Nobody knows a recession, so you're looking back and thinking, oh, my God, look at that.

Speaker 8 Nobody knows an uptick either. Oh, I should have bought, should have bought.
They didn't know it when it was upticking.

Speaker 6 Except Christian Bale in Big Short.

Speaker 8 Yes. He knew.
Well, he's a genius. I read that book.

Speaker 6 Not everybody read that book.

Speaker 6 Yeah. No, did you, so when that happened, though, did you have any, you had no inkling that kind of surprised you as well, 2008?

Speaker 8 You know, it surprised me, honestly. I'm embarrassed to me because I'm an optimist.
I always thought the future was bright. Oh, just this, just this.
So did I give the best advice to people? No.

Speaker 8 Did I hold on to real estate because I, real estate holdings I I had? Yes, I did. Because I thought, oh, thank God, you know, it's only going to be worth more tomorrow.
Did I lose the money?

Speaker 8 No, because I held on for another five years and now it's worth much, much more. Right.
So, no, I was pretty stupid about that because love is blind. I'm in love with real estate.

Speaker 8 I trust it more than anything else in the world if you could hold on to it long term. That's the way it is.
You hold on to it long term, you come out a winner.

Speaker 8 If you're forced to sell at different points in the market, you can really lose a lot.

Speaker 6 Why is it called real estate?

Speaker 8 It's real. It's real.
What would you trust? What you could put your hands on it? You could step step on it. You could live on it.
You could sleep on it. It's real.

Speaker 6 Bitcoin. Bitcoin.
Bitcoin. Fake.
No, you're not a Bitcoiner guy.

Speaker 6 I don't trust you. Mine? What? Mine, they mine for Bitcoin.

Speaker 8 You don't do that? No, I do not. You should.
It's too scary to me. Don't trust me.

Speaker 6 If you're trying to sell a condo, just call it the blockchain condo. And whenever you add the word blockchain onto something, boom, that's an extra million dollars.
Wow.

Speaker 8 Easy. You know what? I would not work for you if you're going to start a real estate company.

Speaker 6 I feel like we've uncovered a lot of different ways that you and I would not work together so far in this interview. I'm going to find one one eventually where we're going to find Common Ground.

Speaker 8 I'm dying to see your eyes. That's why I'm staring at this guy because I'm trying to see this guy's eyes.

Speaker 6 Well, you also, we have a history, and if we know what happens when you stare at me, you fall in love. So

Speaker 8 you are a good-looking guy, no doubt.

Speaker 6 It's a salesman. Barbara, you're too much.
You did this last time.

Speaker 8 I know, but it's true. You haven't gotten up.
Please, please.

Speaker 6 What is your best investment in Shark Tank? The one that you look back and you're like, that was the one.

Speaker 8 I would have to say, money-wise, the one that I made the most money.

Speaker 6 Give me money, and also give me the one that was mostly.

Speaker 8 The one I made the the most money on already in just a few short years, millions of dollars, is Comfy. It's a sweatshirt that everybody should have.
It's an oversized hoodie sweatshirt named Comfy.

Speaker 8 And it sells for $39.95.

Speaker 8 I thought maybe they'd sell 100 of them, honest to God, when these two clowns came on the site saying, I got this idea. I don't know how I'll make it.
I don't know what it will cost.

Speaker 8 I don't know who will buy it, but it's an idea. So I took just 30% of their interest just because I like the guys.
They've sold over $70 million.

Speaker 6 Wow. I'm looking at it right now.
I believe I have one. I have one of those.
It's great. It does is.
You have one?

Speaker 8 Thank you for my, let's see what's my margin on that for my 30%.

Speaker 8 About four bucks. Thank you for my $4.

Speaker 6 No, all right. So this might be a stupid question, but I'm looking at it right now.
What stops people from... Can you patent a sweatshirt? It is patented.

Speaker 8 The design is patented, but your real question I think you're going to ask is what's going to stop people from knocking it off? Everybody's knocked it off.

Speaker 8 There are a thousand imitators, but this is the original comfy, and despite all that, they're making a ton of money.

Speaker 6 Okay. It's a big sweat.
It It does look very comfy, and that's a great name for it.

Speaker 6 Do you put that in your equation when you see a product and you're like, okay, that product works, but people are just going to rip it off?

Speaker 8 No, I didn't even think of that. You know what was on my mind when those two brothers came in pitch? I thought, well, these guys drink way too much.
Are they even making sense?

Speaker 8 I don't get this product, and who the hell would buy it? But they looked like they'd be fun to have a beer with. I said, what the hell? For $100,000, I'll take 30%.
And the deal was done.

Speaker 6 You could do like Comfy 2.0. And

Speaker 6 it sounds like there's some party guys. They're real creative.
there's some party guys, and so you sew in little pockets on the inside to put flasks.

Speaker 6 Did you steal that idea? Yeah, there's an entire marketplace out there for kids that are trying to sneak flasks and beers into crowded events. Wow.
Beer pants. I invented beer pants guys.

Speaker 6 No, no, because it's that guy that just goes top, tap, and then he just lets you in. Oh, that's kind of fun.
So if it's a metal detector, flasks can be a tricky one.

Speaker 6 But I did invent beer pants in college, which is maybe something that we

Speaker 6 connect on. Good for you.
You sew little pockets pockets into just the cuff of the pants. You just put like a nice bottle of pants.
But how do you get it?

Speaker 8 You can see the beer.

Speaker 6 No, no, not at the bottom of the pants. Oh, because you were a huge.

Speaker 8 But he walked like a piece of pencil. Yeah, Jinkos.

Speaker 6 You have to wear Jinkos to make it work.

Speaker 6 You got to look ridiculous, but it works.

Speaker 6 I like the comfy. That's the story of my life, really.
The comfy also could do

Speaker 6 like a chilled hood because you know when you're like really hungover and you want to put your face like on the on the tile in your bathroom that's what you need a line extension yes a chilled hood you could have a little insert and freeze it

Speaker 6 i'm gonna feel that idea.

Speaker 6 Like you said, I didn't watch that particular Shark Tank, but the guys drink a lot and they made what looks like a hungover sweatshirt.

Speaker 8 And they sang a song.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that is the. They basically sit around dying on their couch on the weekend.
They're like, you know what? We really need is something to die inside of.

Speaker 8 Oh, my God. I like that.
That's a good point. I'm going to steal both ideas.
I'll give you no credit. Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 6 Okay, that's totally fine. Have you ever invested in something just so that someone else that you didn't like couldn't invest in it?

Speaker 8 On the show?

Speaker 8 All the time. It's ridiculous.
I did that for three years. It's like, I'll be damned if Mark's going to take this from me.
And then I compete with that billionaire. What an ass I was.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 I didn't do that for long. He could outspend any of us under the table three times over.

Speaker 6 What about the reverse? When, like, because

Speaker 6 Kevin O'Leary doesn't really get into a lot of deals. When he does get interested, well, first of all, when he gets interested, it's always bullshit.

Speaker 6 Cause he's like, I'm going to license it and I'll pay you this and then I'll just make all the money. That's it.

Speaker 6 But do you get interested when someone who passes on so many deals is now all of a a sudden like, ooh, I see something here.

Speaker 8 Well, you know, I've taken out a couple of Kevin's deals simply because I thought he was taking huge advantage of a nice entrepreneur.

Speaker 8 I had no interest in the deal, but it was like watching him slaughter somebody. Right.
But I only did that for two years and then lost a few hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 8 I said, I'll shut my mouth in the future. Interesting.

Speaker 6 Interesting.

Speaker 6 What is the one product that you've invested in that you wish you could take back?

Speaker 8 Oh, there's a lot of them. Okay, the lipstick that makes you lose weight.

Speaker 6 That's true.

Speaker 6 That happens.

Speaker 8 Sounds like a great idea, but guess what? It doesn't make you lose weight. What? Even though it burns the crap out of your lips, so you don't want to eat a hot dog next time.

Speaker 6 That's terrible. That's a real thing? That's a real thing.
That sounds like a high idea.

Speaker 8 Or the dentist, if you use this toothpaste, it's going to put you to sleep at night. I tried it.
I was having a hard time sleeping. I never went to sleep after I used this toothpaste.

Speaker 6 Oh, melatonin.

Speaker 8 After I tested, like, no, not melatonin.

Speaker 6 Melatonin, no toothpaste, yeah.

Speaker 8 Oh, that, wait, maybe that's

Speaker 8 it. There was no melatonin in that toothbrush.

Speaker 6 That's what was it that knocked you out? Hank has this. Hank has Listerquil.
Nyquil and Listerine combined.

Speaker 6 He literally has it.

Speaker 6 That's his idea. This is great.

Speaker 8 I'm going to try both these formulations. Maybe my money's not lost yet.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Listerquil has been a long time idea. Holy shit, Hank.
That was just proven that you're right. Wait, you invested in the family?

Speaker 8 I don't know what to take seriously.

Speaker 6 No, he Listerquil is a long time idea of Hank.

Speaker 6 It sounds like you invested in Listerquil, but it wasn't

Speaker 6 a wrong formulation. Yeah.

Speaker 8 It didn't put you to sleep, and it tasted like crap.

Speaker 7 The only sad part is that it was after her saying her least favorite investment.

Speaker 6 Well, that's good. You might make it my favorite investment.
It wasn't successful. Your formula wasn't good.
Your formula works. She likes the idea.
Barbara loves it. She's in love with the idea.

Speaker 6 It's the people behind it.

Speaker 8 Who would think I'd come here today and make money? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I never saw that coming. Correct.

Speaker 6 Has there ever been a product that you thought was a no-brainer and still think to this day is a no-brainer, but the people that were leading it were just all wrong for it and didn't work out?

Speaker 8 Lots of products. I won't name the products because it would put everybody into a hole of shame, but so many products.

Speaker 8 Like the guy who invented a bicycle that was the most stunning bicycle I've ever seen in my life. Had to have it.

Speaker 8 I should have have just ordered a bicycle instead mark and i each invested five hundred thousand dollars into it lost all of our money what was wrong with the bicycle the guy was an artist he had to have the exact right little this the right little that he had 50 000 skews on the cap on the on the tire okay a guy like that never makes money he's an artist okay i've learned those lessons all right mark hasn't he still invested in artists interestingly enough but i like look and i go too bad on him okay so what about the reverse what about someone that you invested in and their idea ended up sucking, but you were like, this person is so good, I want to keep them around for something else going forward.

Speaker 8 Well, you got cousins made lobster. Their idea was they just want to sell lobster rolls off one truck, okay? And they were happy.
It was a side business, a side kick.

Speaker 8 But when I heard how much money they were making, I knew it was a franchise empire. Today they have 70 trucks, 16, 17 restaurants, I think now.

Speaker 8 They're making a ton of money.

Speaker 8 I invested in those guys. They were so smart, I knew.
they could figure anything out. They're just so sharp and lovely people.
I knew there were going to be winners.

Speaker 6 How often does it happen when you're out?

Speaker 6 Let's just say you're buying a product or you're at a store, you're at a shopping mall, you buy something and you're like, you know what, I like this so much, I'd like to own the entire company.

Speaker 8 Guess what? Never happens.

Speaker 8 I buy a product, I say, thank God I didn't have to invest in this. I just pay my $4.99 and get a pack of gum or something.
Really? You know, yeah, no. I'm never jealous of that.

Speaker 8 I'm thinking of the things I see on the shelves that are all over the shelves that I know are going to be returned to the manufacturer that week and I'm going to have to give the the money back.

Speaker 8 That's the stuff. I don't go shopping, Harley, because I don't want to see.
And the worst part, I'll go to a store and I'll see Lori's great products. She's the best merchant on the show.

Speaker 8 I'll see her stupid little nickel dime shit that she's made millions of dollars on and hate her while I'm shopping for my food. It's just terrible.
Yeah, no, no. I try to keep out of the stores.

Speaker 8 I've given up on stores now. I don't like them at all.

Speaker 6 How much of Lori's products, though, like I've watched QVC late at night. There's something about watching it like past midnight where you're like, I got to have that knife that cuts through a shoe.

Speaker 6 Yeah, or I got to have that. Yeah,

Speaker 6 the extendable ladder that goes up three stories, even though I live in a one-bedroom apartment. Like, I got to have that thing.
How much is that? How much that plays into it?

Speaker 8 That's part of it, but honestly, she's got a great nose for picking products.

Speaker 8 I can't even remember the name. I exit out of my head.
When that guy came pedaling a sponge with a smiley face, I thought to myself, what a stupid ass product.

Speaker 8 Okay, Lori made like $7 million within three months on it. Like, why the hell would people want a sponge? What's the name of it?

Speaker 6 I think it's the most successful. Don't say it.
It's the most successful product, though.

Speaker 6 Well, don't even mention it.

Speaker 8 You didn't invest in it. I thought it was the most successful.

Speaker 6 Oh, that's a good question. Barbara, you should have.
Then the lady

Speaker 6 curlers.

Speaker 8 This Indian woman walks in gorgeous hair with curlers in, and I think, oh, who even uses curlers anymore?

Speaker 6 Do that make money? Not me. Yeah, like

Speaker 6 $30 million on that one.

Speaker 6 I'm with you, though. I wouldn't want to invest in that rinky-dink shit.

Speaker 6 I don't like the idea of buying a lot of cheap stuff. Yeah.
I want to sell one big thing.

Speaker 6 I want to get in the business of selling football stadiums. You sell one of those, you're set for life.

Speaker 8 Well, you let me know when the football stadium comes on Shark Tank. We haven't seen deals like that.

Speaker 6 Well, there could be one in New York. How much do you think, like, as far as the real estate market goes, the Jets were thinking about building a stadium in Manhattan like 10 years ago?

Speaker 6 I think out by Chelsea Piers and that.

Speaker 8 Yeah, too bad that didn't come to pass. We need it.

Speaker 6 How much? Yeah, that would be great for traffic, right? How much money?

Speaker 6 How much money do you think it would cost to buy enough real estate in the west side of Manhattan to build a football stadium?

Speaker 8 God,

Speaker 8 God, just the land alone. I don't know how what the footprint is.
I would say tens of billions of dollars just for the land. And you couldn't do it anyway.
Where are you going to get raw land?

Speaker 8 The only thing you could do is fill in the Hudson River or the East River and extend the landfront. Well, people have done it.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Ooh,

Speaker 6 the Stadium Island. Ooh, I like that.
That's nice.

Speaker 8 But what happened to Randall's Island? That would have been perfect.

Speaker 6 I've got another idea. What's the one thing that we're missing in New York York that all these other places, all these other great cities in the world have that we don't? Manners.
Wow.

Speaker 6 And besides, yeah, that and a beach. Oh.
We don't have a beach in Manhattan.

Speaker 6 What if you just, how much would it cost to get a shitload of sand and just dump it on the south shore of Manhattan and just have that beer? Peace party.

Speaker 8 You know, the Hudson River is pretty clean. Your idea sounds wacky because it's coming from a wacky guy, but I'll tell you, it's not a bad idea.
Every other city in the world.

Speaker 6 I'd be before you tell me I'm smart. You can just say that's a smart idea, PFT.

Speaker 8 Okay, it's a smart idea.

Speaker 8 You don't want to make comments, just say, hey, it's a smart idea. But it's a smart idea, honestly.
People would welcome it. What my point was going to be,

Speaker 8 and then you interrupted me, but don't keep talking until you interrupt me again.

Speaker 8 Every other great city you go to, and when you're on the water, you're aware of the water. This is the only city you're not even aware of the water when

Speaker 8 you're on the island. It would be phenomenal on the Hudson River to have a lengthy, beautiful beach because the water's even clean enough to swim in now.
It is? Of course it is.

Speaker 6 On the East River.

Speaker 8 I don't think so. I'm going to have to check that.

Speaker 8 You are a bundle of ideas.

Speaker 6 This is actually Hank's idea.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Oh, okay.
He's stealing your idea, Hank. Top golf, right?

Speaker 6 We built a Topgolf, but this is my spin on it. You put

Speaker 6 all the balls that you hit into the water, you hit them directly into the East River, and they disintegrate over time. And on the inside of the balls, it's algae.
So it makes the river nicer

Speaker 6 as time goes on. So you're making green and you're keeping the environment green.

Speaker 8 Yeah, well, I'm out on that one. That one will never go over.
People won't like the trash in the water. Bad idea.

Speaker 6 No, it's helping the water. It is.
Ooh, what about Top Golf? You're saving the planet. What about Top Golf and the golf balls are ice cubes and we lower the temperature of the ocean.

Speaker 8 Oh, that's practical. I love that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that would win a noble process. I'll put millions on that one.
Fixing global warming. That actually would work.

Speaker 8 This is starting to sound like some of the wacky pitches we heard on Shark Time.

Speaker 6 I do have a serious question about real estate in Manhattan because in my neighborhood, I'm walking down the street.

Speaker 6 What neighborhood neighborhood you the west village yeah and I see all around me probably three quarters of the storefronts are absolutely empty right they're they've been empty for the

Speaker 8 for the last like two years year and a half uh how are the people that own how are people making money if they own that building where they're not getting any money coming in from the storefront they're not making money but you have to look at it a different way there's a great opportunity to buy those buildings cheap people only hold out losing money for so long and a lot of these smaller properties are owned by small landlords okay I have the same problem.

Speaker 8 Two buildings I own in the East Village, right off Fifth Avenue. I lost my ground tenant.
They had two floors. Suddenly, I'm losing money on those buildings, each of them.
What am I going to do?

Speaker 8 I'm going to turn them into apartments. Sometimes you could do that and make the money and save your ass, but most times you can't.

Speaker 8 That's a great opportunity to solicit those people and get a great deal on real estate. Because whenever there's trouble, it's always the best time to make a killing.

Speaker 8 But when there's trouble, people focus on the trouble, but there's always that flip side, the underbelly of it. Right.

Speaker 8 So you could become a giant land owner if you would just approach all those owners. And you know what? I didn't even think of it myself.

Speaker 8 I'm going to do it the minute we leave here, and I'm going to beat you to the punch because I have the wherewithal to get out there faster.

Speaker 6 Okay, but that's a great another money-making idea. That was a nice way of just like dressing up the old saying, when there's blood in the streets, buy land.
Yeah, I got a nice damage.

Speaker 6 That was a nice way of doing that. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. What if

Speaker 8 you're a funny guy?

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 8 He's like a

Speaker 6 girl. A girl.

Speaker 8 You think so quick. How do you come up with

Speaker 6 a break? I got breasts, but they're actually muscles. I'm not a girl.

Speaker 6 I had one last question. A real question.
Seek eek question, promo code take, put it in, you get $10 off. Work-life balance, when you invest in people, do you expect them to,

Speaker 6 like, what's the balance that you expect them to have where they're just trying to kill themselves for their job?

Speaker 6 Or do you ever step in and be like, hey, you need to take a vacation or you need to chill out?

Speaker 8 Here's the funny thing about people. The more you say to the people that work on your team, don't work hard.
Take a week off. There's no vacation schedule here.
Go home. It's noon.
It's a rainy day.

Speaker 8 Go enjoy yourself. Take a personal day.
The more you do that, the harder people work. I mean, I do that because I really want people to have a great life.

Speaker 8 But the fact of the matter is, do I really get something from it? Yeah, I get a real dedicated people that work from their own volition. And what you get is a team that can't be beat.

Speaker 8 It's the stupidest thing in the world to have a vacation schedule in any business, in my book, or to have hours. Let people make their own hours, and their strength comes to the front.

Speaker 8 I have phenomenal people because I do exactly that. I really want them to have a great life.
And you know what? They take care of you. What comes around goes around.
You love them, they love you back.

Speaker 8 That's how it goes.

Speaker 6 Do you think people ever take advantage of the fact that you?

Speaker 8 Not a one. I mean, if I hired a clunker, and I've hired a few clunkers in my day, but I get rid of them fast.
I love Fridays to get rid of a clunker. Good.
Could you see me at 11 o'clock on Friday?

Speaker 6 You're out, okay?

Speaker 8 But take the clunkers out of the equation, which is a rare exception, really, because I'm careful letting people in. But I'm telling you, no one takes advantage.

Speaker 8 People give you extra in in every way they can, from their heart and their soul to their hours to their intelligence brought to the fore. And you know what happens? They grow.

Speaker 8 They grow because they're giving 150% all the time. You can't help it to grow if you push yourself out.
Push yourself out. You get bigger and bigger and better.
And that's the way life is.

Speaker 6 There are a couple people around here that take advantage of a vacation policy.

Speaker 8 Well, send it to me on Friday.

Speaker 6 Sometimes you have a vacation policy.

Speaker 8 It's a problem. We don't.

Speaker 6 Well, no, the thing is, we actually don't have a vacation policy. And some people in this room

Speaker 6 use their vacation time it's him that guy I get shamed I took one day off one time and I get shamed and I feel so bad what you just said where it's fine I'm not mad about it give people love nurture them tell them take as many days off as you want it is the exact opposite culture here and it just hurts it's very hurtful you look like you could take it though you look like the kind of guy who's bitching about it but you kind of enjoy it that's my view on you no vacation

Speaker 6 I love vacations yeah we do vacation

Speaker 8 my I work hard so I can take days off and whenever I take them I get shamed you know I'm taking you on my next vacation you would be a blast because you just yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, and I wouldn't have to say anything.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and you just take in the end of the night, you just down your list or quill, and then boom, sleep like a baby. Yeah, there it is.
Okay, wait. I've got one other real estate idea.

Speaker 8 You're going to promote my podcast before you finish up.

Speaker 6 Yes, it is Business Unusual. So 888-BARBARA.
Got a question. You can download it now.
Got a question. You can call 888-BARBA.
I'm just going to call in.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you call in. What do you think the name is 888-BARBAR from?

Speaker 8 800-Barbara was taken by a porn star. I would have taken that that one.

Speaker 6 I swear to God, it's a true story. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Was the porn star's last name?

Speaker 8 Oh, I don't know what her name is, but it was 800 Barbara.

Speaker 6 Try it. Can I call it right now? You could do it, yeah.

Speaker 8 And if for some reason she's not doing it anymore, let me know. I'll grab that number, too.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 6 888 Barbara. Let's call her in a second.
Check out that podcast. Oh, my God.
I do have a question. That's fun.
I'm enjoying pitching you so much.

Speaker 6 I'm probably just going to call into your podcast all the time with these stupid ideas.

Speaker 6 But my final one: what if I were to tell you that there's a business out there, the model's been proven, it can be a $5 billion business? Yeah. It's been proven already, but it's never been executed.

Speaker 6 What would you say to that?

Speaker 8 I would say who's running it?

Speaker 6 Let me have a look. Not me.
I know you're going to say no, if it's me.

Speaker 8 I'd have to meet who's running. Give me five minutes with the person running, and I'll tell you if it's going to work.

Speaker 6 So it's Jurassic Park.

Speaker 6 The model's been proven. The science exists to make dinosaurs.
We buy Staten Island and we just fill it with raptors. No, that's we got the stadium.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, that's a good idea. There's a different island.
There are two island ideas. Yeah, two separate but equal.

Speaker 6 Maybe combine them. We could hit, yeah, maybe, yeah, there we go.
Now you're talking about a stadium with dinosaurs in it.

Speaker 6 Do you drop the kids off at Dinosaur Island, and then you go to the game, have a couple cold ones, pick the cats. Met Life has cats.
We have like Velociraptors. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah. Wait, you want me to comment even on that? If

Speaker 6 the technology existed for Jurassic Park.

Speaker 8 Oh, it did, you're saying, or you're saying it does.

Speaker 6 Oh, it does. It does.
But I'm just saying, if you were confident in the technology behind it, would you or would you not invest in a Jurassic Park?

Speaker 8 No, not if it was owned owned by you not owned by me again not owned by me some like let's picture for a minute you don't own it but some fabulous guy who's really smart who knows business and he's a hustler good-looking charming could raise additional funds because he always comes in on your budget

Speaker 8 just talking about me i get it yeah yeah you know it's exciting because it's new but do i believe you could really bring dinosaurs back i don't think i could write the check sorry about that even if i had a great entrepreneur what about cloning humans would you do that oh yeah i'd clone myself my next five husbands and they'd all be under 30 they'd be rock solid and I'd own them.

Speaker 6 What's wrong with that? You would clone yourself and then hire yourself to work for you so you have more use. Boy, I wish I had a vacation.
I would give him a huge. That would be good.

Speaker 6 That would actually be a good way for your vacation.

Speaker 8 That's actually a funny movie, actually. Good idea for a movie.

Speaker 6 Well, I think that's the Paul Rudd show.

Speaker 8 Oh, it's already taken. Too bad.

Speaker 6 That's okay. We can just steal it.

Speaker 6 That's the first rule of business. Just steal someone else's idea.

Speaker 8 That's it? Is that right?

Speaker 6 What do you got, Hank? You got the last thing? Oh, you did a little pump fake. Yeah.
What do you want to say? Has he had it? I was going to say, you remake it, not steal it. Yeah, remake homage.

Speaker 8 That's a remake. An attorney in the room.

Speaker 6 Yes. All right, Barbara Corcoran, check it out.
Unusual podcast. No business unusual.
It's unusual. Get it right.
888 Barbara is the new podcast. Call in with questions.

Speaker 8 If you want to get yourself ahead and the shit's in your way and you don't know how to get past your own self, give me a question. I'll show you the way out.

Speaker 6 Okay. Perfect.
Give her a call. Perfect.

Speaker 6 Who are you going to call it? Who are you going to call? Barbara. Barbara.
Barbara. 1-800-BABARB.
No, no, no.

Speaker 6 800, 880, Barbara. 888.
1-800-BARBA. I'm going to call both.
Okay.

Speaker 4 That interview with Barbara Corcoran was proxied by.

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Speaker 3 Okay, let's get some segments real quick and then we will do our Monday deep dive with Billy Football. PFT, you have a high idea.
But you're not a drug guy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, not a drug guy. Not a drug guy.
Not a drug guy at all, but I did. I enjoyed...

Speaker 4 As I said last week, a local small business reached out and they said, hey, we're taking extra precautions to make sure that you guys are safe.

Speaker 4 for small businesses i wanted to help them out so um yeah i i dabbled last night and i came up with a billion dollar idea maybe quadrillion or trillion dollar idea it's water for dogs okay humans are freaks about their dogs they want to make sure that they're getting the best food uh like whether that's grain free they want to treat their dogs to all the best nutrition-wise stuff they possibly can but our dogs are drinking the exact same thing every single day they got to be bored of water right

Speaker 4 So, why not a little flavored water for your dog? So, you can either go with the savory option and have it be like a bacon-flavored water or a bone broth water.

Speaker 4 I don't know what bone broth is, but when you say it, it sounds healthy as fuck.

Speaker 4 So, bone broth water, and you say that it's got glucosamine in it, all these specific nutrients that your dog needs, plus it tastes better, and your dog will love it.

Speaker 4 Your dog's going to drink the shit out of it.

Speaker 4 Or you can even go something more refreshing.

Speaker 4 You can say mint water or cucumber-flavored water and people will buy the hell out of this stuff because they want their dogs to have the best and they are probably thinking to themselves yeah i've been a bad pet owner i've been feeding my dog plain water like a chump for the last 20 years so i feel like this is like a no-doubt smash hit for us i mean i i don't really see a hole in it i'm googling it to see if it exists and i don't know if it does so i think we're good dogs and you you can even call it like paleo water you can be like it's good it's taking your dog back to the days

Speaker 4 real Real dogs used to drink nothing but just

Speaker 3 blood when they were wolves. All you have to do is say it's tests have been proven to show that

Speaker 3 the PMT dog water has dogs living up to 12 to 18 months longer than the average dog. And then in fine print, say tests have not been conclusive by science, but this is just how we feel.

Speaker 4 But also, big cat, it's not just the amount of years, it's the quality of years.

Speaker 4 Do you want your dog to be out there drinking normal water like like some sort of pussy no you want your dog to be drinking like masculine strong water that's putting it more in touch with its ancestors here's a fun fact about dogs dogs have only been domesticated for I don't know, like a thousand years, 1,500 years.

Speaker 4 And what do you think dogs were drinking before that?

Speaker 3 They sure weren't drinking.

Speaker 4 filtered brittle water. They were drinking the blood of their kills.
They're drinking whatever they could find out in nature.

Speaker 4 So we've coddled, their stomachs really aren't equipped to handle tap water and Evian or Perrier or whatever everyone out there is feeding their dogs out of like a bottle.

Speaker 4 They want to be just sipping that raw stuff, you know?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't see, I feel like we should

Speaker 3 put it to market like right now. People got to spend once the Trump bucks come in,

Speaker 4 spend your $1,200 on dog water.

Speaker 3 Ooh, what if we made an extra special deal, too? We're like, we make people think that we're putting it on discount.

Speaker 3 We'll give you a 12-pack of our dog water.

Speaker 3 If you use your regular dollars, it's going to be $45. If you use your Trump bucks, it's $30.

Speaker 4 Boom. How about this? If you spend all $1,200 of your Trump bucks on dog water,

Speaker 4 we're going to give you $1,500 worth of dog water. So you get the extra $300 on the house.

Speaker 3 No, actually, okay, here's what we really should do, PFT. Okay.

Speaker 3 We should create

Speaker 3 some kind of

Speaker 3 patented nozzle that you can put on your sink

Speaker 3 your sink your you so so you hook it up and then it's dog water for life and we charge people like seven thousand dollars but it really does nothing

Speaker 3 okay it just goes through a contraption right but we're like hey this is the special dog water contraption so we're like we will give you unlimited dog water for seven thousand dollars just enough cash it pays for itself after like 15 years correct correct or if we can figure out out a way to develop the technology to inject dog whistles into water so that when dogs hear the water sound they come running to it like a dog whistle wait when the when the bottle opens no when the faucet no no when the faucet runs it also whistles yes yes or yes and the owners will be like holy my dog is like fucking coming running for this

Speaker 3 hank because the people can't hear it and then yeah they're like oh my god this dog they love water now They really need this water. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 That actually is an idea that I think we could scam millions of people out of their money.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. Dog water.

Speaker 4 We should have pitched it to her. Now, granted, we had her on, it was probably more like three or four months ago.

Speaker 3 Well, but

Speaker 3 this is a no-doubter in my brain.

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 this is our meal ticket out of this sportsless hell that we're living in right now.

Speaker 3 Well, and here's the thing with the nozzle, you can, like I said, you can, you can patent it. So, like, if we just created dog water, anyone else could rip that off.

Speaker 3 Like, there's Dasani, there's Fiji, there's all these other water. If we actually make an instrument that you can put on your faucet, no one can rip that off.

Speaker 3 If we get the correct patents, I'm sure we know there's got to be like a patent dude who listens to this show.

Speaker 7 We have one that works for us.

Speaker 4 Done.

Speaker 4 We've done studies already, and dogs, given the choice of having dog water or nothing at all, live 15 years longer if they drink dog water.

Speaker 3 If you don't buy our faucet add-on, your dog will die.

Speaker 3 And if you do buy it, maybe they won't. We don't know.
We actually haven't done enough studies to know if it's actually tuck everlasting. They live forever.

Speaker 4 Sidebar here.

Speaker 4 What if we included something in the mix that came out of the faucet that made the dogs addicted to it? That works too. So they just wouldn't drink water after trying dog water for the first time.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Dog, dog heroin.
That's a side brand.

Speaker 3 You just put a little bit. Yeah, there's like a, it's like the everlasting gobstopper, but it's just meat.
And you put it and it runs the water runs over it.

Speaker 4 Okay, Hank, we were editing that part out, right?

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think that this is like an absolute no-brainer.

Speaker 4 Let's make some money here.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 And this is legally, we have decided that we have just said this entire idea out loud. So if you steal it, you will be sued.
Actually, when we ever do these things,

Speaker 3 I kind of hope that someone does the legwork and then we can just sue them. Right.
Like, I would, like, they're always, people always are like, oh, the poor Winklevoss twins.

Speaker 3 Dude, I would love to be a Winklevoss. Just have the idea, but no execution, then sue the guy who did the execution.
Yep. That's the American dream.
It is the best.

Speaker 4 Just sitting back on your couch and coming up with ideas, and then someone else actually puts work into it. You're like, yo, man, it's fucked up.
I thought about that already.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and then just and then waiting till there's such a big company that they're like, fine, we'll just give you $200 million to leave us alone. It's like, deal.

Speaker 3 What Carol Baskin did? Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 7 She was just mad at Joe Exotic for flexing on her, so she sued the shit out of him.

Speaker 3 We need a new documentary, by the way. We got to figure that out.

Speaker 4 It's true. We'll figure it out.
I'm going to watch King of Kong again.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Let's do that.
Let's do that for Friday. Let's do King of Kong for Friday.

Speaker 3 You got to watch it on YouTube.

Speaker 4 We still need the Field Gold Kicker movie.

Speaker 3 Yes,

Speaker 3 let's do

Speaker 3 that.

Speaker 3 That one people can't watch. That's them watching with us.
Oh, we put it on?

Speaker 7 We can.

Speaker 3 Let's do King of Kong because that just got me so excited. King of Kong is one of the greatest documentaries of all time.
Yes, King of Kong, you can find the whole thing on YouTube.

Speaker 3 If you just type in King of Kong, fist full of quarters.

Speaker 3 The whole thing is on YouTube.

Speaker 4 Nobody knows the fight was fixed.

Speaker 3 All right, so we're going to do that review on Friday. We're going to do wide receivers on Wednesday.

Speaker 3 Yeah, let's do it. NFL gets big mad about that.

Speaker 3 Should we ease it? Let's do running backs.

Speaker 3 Let's do running backs. Let's do running backs and we'll do wide receivers next week.
Let's do running backs.

Speaker 3 Okay. All right.
We'll do running backs on Wednesday. We're going to do King of Kong, fist full of quarters on Friday.

Speaker 3 Maybe the greatest villain character of all time in any documentary, Billy Mitchell. Everyone watch it.
We'll tweet it out. We'll tweet out clips.
I'm so excited for this.

Speaker 3 PFT, you've got me back. I'm back.
I just need these things to look forward to. And diving back into this, I remember the first time I watched this documentary, it was probably 2004.

Speaker 3 And I was like, I can't believe these people exist.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's incredible.

Speaker 3 It's incredible. It's incredible.
So, and Foul Ball Guy makes an appearance.

Speaker 4 That's right.

Speaker 3 And the Foul Ball Guy. Sorry.
Let's see.

Speaker 4 It came out in 2007.

Speaker 3 So I was like, I remember 2007 then. Yeah.
I just remember watching it in college, so I didn't remember what year it was.

Speaker 3 All right, let's do Mount Flushmore. Mount Flushmore of websites.

Speaker 3 Hank, you're first.

Speaker 7 I am first. All right.

Speaker 7 My first one is Barcelon Sports 1.0.

Speaker 7 It was a website so bad that it managed to delete everything that was on it for the past like six years.

Speaker 3 It was very bad.

Speaker 7 We have a good website now. We have good tech people now, but basically we had a different tech team from 2016 and prior.

Speaker 3 And basically, finding anything that was on the website before that even if i like remember exactly like the the blog title or exactly what was in the blog i just can't find it there was definitely a level of this site is so poorly done that you like have to keep going back to it because there's something about it like when when the web revolution came and it just skipped right over barstool sports we had that website where people were like oh this is how it's set up it was just a constant scroll too it wasn't even different pages it was just like keep keep reading keep reading bitches bitches i remember go into infinity well no there was a moment i think in like 2013 or 14 we were like hey maybe we should make it change so it's not like 40 blogs on one page maybe like cut it up so it's like eight and then you have to hit keep reading and our page views like quadrupled

Speaker 3 That's smart. That's smart.

Speaker 4 Get that extra click in there.

Speaker 3 It also used to be that you didn't have to click on the actual story. It would just be all scrolls.

Speaker 3 Website, you could go to Barcelona.

Speaker 3 Everything was just there.

Speaker 7 And then everything got lost.

Speaker 3 Everything got lost. All right, good, good call, Hank, for your first pick.
All right, PFT.

Speaker 4 Okay, for my first pick, right at the gate, I think I'm going to go with Bleacher Report 2007 until 2014.

Speaker 3 And that it was...

Speaker 4 It was the landing zone for every single slideshow on the internet. It was like 90% of Bleacher Report's website was look at the 50 hottest wives and girlfriends of this English soccer player.

Speaker 4 And then it'd make you just click all the way through it. Click, click, click, click, click.
And then they went legit. They're kind of like the mob.

Speaker 4 They tried to go legit and pretend that their bootlegging past didn't exist at that point. But from those years,

Speaker 4 it was

Speaker 4 an awful, awful website.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 7 game start times. That's what I would always like search for what channel games were on.
And it was always Bleacher Report.

Speaker 4 And they didn't pay anybody to write for the the website so anyone could submit their writing to it and like their draft grades are always hilarious to go back and read because it was just done by some some person with like a high-speed internet access and that's it like they gave Russell Wilson that and I think it was like Cliff Averill that Seahawks grade they gave it an F

Speaker 4 and they rejected me from writing there when I tried to write the world's worst article to see if it would pass their quality filter they actually caught that one

Speaker 3 that's pretty funny that's pretty funny that good good good to know that they were able to stop you there.

Speaker 3 That was a that was a big stop for them, and they had some random dude just giving his draft grades. Uh, that yeah, that's a good, that's a good one.

Speaker 3 Uh, the slideshows, I mean, it's so funny when you think about all those websites and and like what they started out, and then just trying to pretend, like you said.

Speaker 3 Like, I actually, my, my first pick would be the original BuzzFeed, which was kind of the same where BuzzFeed literally just took everything from everyone,

Speaker 3 like unapologetically, didn't even add their own like thought on it. So the original BuzzFeed, and they, they, it was huge.
Like it was huge.

Speaker 3 They, they were able to basically, they were, I think, the first true aggregator on the internet, were they not?

Speaker 4 Yeah, they just, they made lists, and it was like the 10 funniest tweets of 2011 or 2012 or whatever. And it would just be screen grabs, like no links or anything.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, they would.

Speaker 4 I would just steal all the content.

Speaker 3 I'm going to try to find this real quick. There is when BuzzFeed came on the map, Dave

Speaker 3 got nervous that they were going to like, not nervous, but he was like, we got to keep up with the Jones. And he would, he like sent us an email being like, we got to start doing lists.

Speaker 3 Like, let's start doing lists. And

Speaker 3 we made a calendar where everyone had to do a different list every day. And I think we made it like four days before we all just gave up.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I remember so stupid.

Speaker 4 As BuzzFeed was coming out, Colin Coward, he did a segment. He was I'm going to tell you the secret to business after this break.

Speaker 4 And then I was like, well, I got to stay in my car during my lunch break to figure this out because I need to know what the secret to business is. And he comes back to me and he goes, guys love lists.

Speaker 4 Every guy will read a list. I was like, Colin, I knew that, but thank you for saying it out loud.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes. He is, yeah,

Speaker 3 lists are what guys want to see. Yeah, I'm looking at 2012 list blogs.
He basically sent us an email being like, list blogs are the way to go. You've got to have a top 10 list.

Speaker 3 10 gifts.

Speaker 4 10 hottest little sisters of professional athletes that are just barely 18. And then they became like the moral arbiter of the universe about five years later.
Yeah,

Speaker 7 this was before the separate pages. So Dave's idea didn't even make sense because it would have just all been one giant scroll.

Speaker 3 Correct. Yeah, he said.

Speaker 4 It wasn't a slideshow.

Speaker 3 We literally lasted like what we lasted like one week doing these. It was just, he said, people eat this shit up.
It's also a great way to build a following with our writers.

Speaker 3 The bottom line is we're doing these lists just to add more work. I think passing these assignments off to part-time guys is a major mistake.

Speaker 3 So he basically was like, we got to have our best and brightest minds on the lists.

Speaker 4 Just got off the phone with the boys. I got my top men on it in the back.

Speaker 3 All right. My other one, I don't know if this one counts.
Well, no, it shouldn't count. It's a sneakers app slash website.
I hate it so much. It's the bane of my existence.

Speaker 3 It's the fucking worst thing ever. You never win anything.
So that is one of my worst websites out there.

Speaker 4 That's a good one. I'm going to go with anything,

Speaker 4 any online education portal. So I'll say blackboard.com.

Speaker 4 Just awful, awful layout. And you know that whenever you're going there, you're going there because you're doing schoolwork.

Speaker 3 By the way, did you guys see that the Ivy League is giving away like free courses? Should we take a course?

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 4 I'd rather just go to that fake college where you can buy a degree for $10.

Speaker 3 Okay, all right. Well, we should think about taking a course.
Maybe not an Ivy League course, but maybe a course somewhere.

Speaker 7 I like PFT's idea of just jumping into random courses and inspiring debate. I don't know about actually taking a course.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I've been crashing some Zoom meetings just out of boredom this weekend. It's pretty fun.

Speaker 3 Hank, if you took one course at Harvard, when people ask, like, where did you go to college? You're like, well, I didn't graduate, but I went to Harvard.

Speaker 7 I can already do that with BU, though.

Speaker 3 I can already say that.

Speaker 4 I went to college somewhere in Massachusetts.

Speaker 7 Well, no, I went to the program I went to was a one-year program at the Boston University Center for Digital Imaging Arts.

Speaker 7 So I can just take off the like the last four words and just say FU.

Speaker 3 Okay. Okay.
I was doing it in Hartford. You should get a degree from Hartford and just say it really quickly.

Speaker 4 I might take a class at Harvard just so we, just so I can say that I'm at Harvard.

Speaker 4 Actually, one of us should do a class at Harvard. The other should go to Yale so we can have like a rivalry going.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Cornell. We could just, we could just like all day just do cocaine and make homophobic jokes against each other.

Speaker 3 That'd be fun.

Speaker 3 All right, Hank, your two picks.

Speaker 3 The Yahoo search bar.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 7 whenever you type something in and you think it's Google, and then

Speaker 7 the Yahoo search results come up, like that are just somehow like the shittiest aggregated results of all time. It never makes sense to me.

Speaker 4 And it's always websites that have like, they start with www.215C34

Speaker 4 and then dot and then the address. It's like, that's not even a real website.
How is this working right now?

Speaker 7 Yep. And then

Speaker 7 have you ever been to? I mean,

Speaker 7 I was searching, I didn't really have a lot, but pftcommenter.com isn't great.

Speaker 3 It's not?

Speaker 7 No, there's not a lot going on there.

Speaker 3 PFT Commenter.com. What about ProFootball Talk.com? One of the worst websites.

Speaker 4 Larry was an inside job. Wake up, sheeple.

Speaker 3 PFT is a connect to dots guy.

Speaker 4 BigCat has a connect to dots guy.

Speaker 4 I don't understand this website at at all oh it goes to barstool bigcat.com and also it says larry was an inside job for you

Speaker 3 what the

Speaker 3 who created that frame

Speaker 7 i mean it must have been made like three years ago but yeah

Speaker 7 okay they're sitting on a gold mine yeah they are

Speaker 3 all right uh your next pick pft

Speaker 4 uh my next one i'm gonna go with stormfront neo-nazi message board so uh i guess i'm the only one that i didn't even know about that yeah yeah how'd you find that?

Speaker 4 That's fine. It's been in the news, of which I read a lot.
So interesting. Yeah.
Stormfront.

Speaker 3 How often do you go?

Speaker 3 How often do you go there?

Speaker 4 I've never been.

Speaker 3 Oh, really? Uh-huh. But you know what? How would you know that?

Speaker 4 Because you're an admin.

Speaker 3 How would you know it's bad? Yes, Dan Katz, the admin at stormfront.com.

Speaker 3 How many times have you been there, for real?

Speaker 4 Never been there. Never been there.
I just know that's a bad place.

Speaker 3 Got it. Okay.

Speaker 3 right.

Speaker 4 I find it interesting that you're attacking me for putting someone front on my list of worst websites.

Speaker 3 I didn't see that one coming. I didn't see that one coming because I didn't even know it existed.

Speaker 3 All right. My next one.

Speaker 3 So I got my last two.

Speaker 3 Meetspin.com. Hilarious when you get meet spinned back in the day.
I don't even know if it still exists, but

Speaker 3 you know, the old

Speaker 3 change your home screen to it. So funny.

Speaker 7 That was the original wood.

Speaker 3 Yes, that was. It was the original wood.
And then

Speaker 3 this one's more of a current one.

Speaker 3 It's ESPN scoreboard

Speaker 3 with just nothing on it because I've been doing that just out of reflex checking, clicking different like sports, and everything's been canceled. So it's the worst website out there right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Speaker 4 You remember ESPN.sportsnet.com? Like the original website that ESPN had back in 1996 or whatever?

Speaker 3 I have vaguely, vaguely.

Speaker 4 That place is really bad. All right, so my final pick is going to be twitter.com/slash d-a-r-r-e-n-r-o-v-e-l-l.

Speaker 3 Ooh, good one.

Speaker 4 Very bad site.

Speaker 3 Very bad. I've been noticing that he's not been tweeting a lot.
I don't know what's going on with him. Hoping that

Speaker 7 he's a sports business reporter. There's no sports business going on, which I at least suspect.

Speaker 3 It's true. It's true.

Speaker 7 So, my last one.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yep.

Speaker 7 Turbotax.com.

Speaker 3 Good pick.

Speaker 4 Good pick.

Speaker 7 Do you ever find yourself on there? You're going to have a miserable experience. Am I screwed?

Speaker 4 The funny thing is, Hank is probably owed thousands of dollars by the federal government. Yes.
Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 3 I am. Hank didn't pay, didn't you?

Speaker 7 I did my taxes two years ago, but

Speaker 7 there was like two years where I was not making a lot of money. Correct.

Speaker 7 Had the zero option where the most money got taken out of my taxes that I'm supposed to get back. And I just never did it.
Which is why I never did it.

Speaker 3 You picked the worst years to not do your taxes by far.

Speaker 7 I also think I'm going to have to do my taxes during quarantine because there's going to be a point where I have nothing else to do.

Speaker 3 No, they extended it, though.

Speaker 7 I know, but like, I might actually be proactive.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, come on.

Speaker 4 That's not going to say things that we can't take back.

Speaker 3 I might. That was the dumbest thing said on the show today.
By far. You're going to start doing your taxes? Maybe.

Speaker 3 Maybe if we get to May.

Speaker 3 Hank, listen, somebody's going to, an investor is going to listen to this and they're going to hear you say that and they're going to back back out of investing in dog water because they heard that coming from you yeah like this is not a kind of person i want to be involved he's crazy he's crazy um before we get to billy football monday deep dive uh reminder we're going to do king of kong fist bowl quarters on friday we're going to do nfl 100 running backs on wednesday and tomorrow night monday night or tonight monday night because you're listening to this on a monday

Speaker 3 uh we're going to go live with an old nfl game uh we do not know the result of.

Speaker 3 And no spoilers. Should we even, we should probably not even announce what the game is until we get into it.

Speaker 3 But we're going to go live from Pardon My Take, right? From Pardon My Take Twitter.

Speaker 7 If you go to Pardon My Take Twitter, you'll be able to see where we're live from. It will probably be from

Speaker 3 a different account. Okay, 8 p.m.
8 p.m. Monday nights.
Tune in. We're going to go live.
It will probably be only about a 45-minute. We've condensed the game.

Speaker 3 It's a game we don't know, remember, or anything like that. We're going to watch it, talk about it, live stream it.
We'll feel like sports are back. Get ready for that.
Eight o'clock Monday night.

Speaker 3 PFT, before we get to Billy Football, you got one last at

Speaker 11 the Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 11 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

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Speaker 6 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 3 Okay, in place of Monday reading, while we're quarantined, we are going to bring back our intern, maybe someday, our colleague, William Football, our son, our son.

Speaker 3 We're going to do some deep dives with Billy Football on Mondays in place of Monday reading. So this should be fun.
We're going to get our learn on. We told Billy,

Speaker 3 whatever you want to dive into, we'll dive into as well.

Speaker 3 Billy, what are we starting with this week?

Speaker 4 So you mentioned the other day if we put everyone into a hibernation state for two weeks, that we'd be able to stop the spread of Corona and end the pandemic.

Speaker 4 So you referenced an article that also had the same take by Donald G.

Speaker 3 McNeill.

Speaker 3 I just want on the record, he stole my take. So he actually wrote that after I said it.

Speaker 4 I just want it on the the record that he actually stole all of our take from after football season every year. We just want to hibernate until March madness.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 4 his quote was, if it were possible to wave a magic wand and make all Americans freeze in place for 14 days while sitting six feet apart, epidemiologists say the whole epidemic would sputter to a halt.

Speaker 4 Anyway, so I looked into this.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 first things first, there is no known cases of natural human hibernation.

Speaker 4 They've been working on this for space travel for years because they want to like put astronauts into hibernation so they can like not use any resources and just like basically fall asleep and wake up in another planet like a year.

Speaker 4 Interstellar.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay. What about Terry Shivo though?

Speaker 3 Who's he?

Speaker 4 She. She.

Speaker 4 We'll dive into that later. But what about when you black out if you just get really, really drunk? for a long time.
I mean, how long have you blacked out? I don't know because I was blacked out.

Speaker 4 So basically hibernation states, you have to slow your metabolism to a fourth of the rate and your heartbeat just beats a couple times per minute.

Speaker 4 So there's a lot of cases of mammals in polar climates hibernating over the winter. So hibernation is only in a state of cold that they start hibernating.
So animals and zoos do not hibernate.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 so bears and zoos don't hibernate?

Speaker 4 Bears and zoos don't hibernate. If they have plenty of food and water and warmth, they don't hibernate.
That's got to be exhausting, though.

Speaker 4 Like as a bear, it's got to be in your natural clock that you get to spend like three months out of the year just napping.

Speaker 3 Well, what Billy's saying is, is it's the other way around, that it's not, they hibernate out of necessity, not out of like what they are built to do.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I agree, but it's also like, I shit out of necessity.

Speaker 4 But like, sometimes it feels good to go take a big shit.

Speaker 3 Right. But a bear, it's not like a bear's like, Why am I not hibernating? Because they're just eating and warm the whole time.

Speaker 4 Okay, all right, bears recycle their poop and pee while they hibernate.

Speaker 3 What do you mean, recycle?

Speaker 4 They don't poop and they turn it into more carbohydrate, carbohydrates and protein while they hibernate.

Speaker 3 Holy shit.

Speaker 4 So, does that mean that their stomach just operates at a more efficient level, or do they actually create and their body just absorbs the shit?

Speaker 4 It goes through their digestive tract, but then somehow it goes back around the circle.

Speaker 4 wow it's like the snake eating its own tail that's incredible anyway and pissed too i just assume they just pissed their pants all winter no they don't because like the scientists would go into their caves and find no nothing

Speaker 4 so but the thing is only female bears with cubs hibernate bears aren't actually the best hibernators Everyone thinks they're the best, but there's actually other animals.

Speaker 4 There's other forms of inactivity not confined to cold weather months. This is called astivation, which is done by a lot of reptiles and frogs and some lemurs in Madagascar.

Speaker 4 So if we were to do it, it'd be in the warm weather months. So we'd technically be aestivation.

Speaker 3 Wait, so who's the best hibernator?

Speaker 4 I think,

Speaker 4 I actually have to go back to my notes. I kind of got sidetracked on bear facts because once I heard the poop one, I was like, let's see what else these guys can do.
That's fine.

Speaker 4 What's a good bear fact?

Speaker 4 Polar bear skin is really black underneath the white fur.

Speaker 3 I knew that.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 4 Let me get all the well-known good facts. Grizzly bears are as fast as a racehorse.
What color is regular bear skin? I don't, I think it's, I'm not sure. Also black, I think.
That'd be cool.

Speaker 4 Wouldn't it be cat if instead of horse races, they just had bear races?

Speaker 3 But so my question for you, Billy, is it would be very cool, but how long can

Speaker 3 they run as fast as a racehorse? Like, I'd imagine they can run as fast as a racehorse for 100 meters.

Speaker 4 So they can reach speeds up to 42 miles per hour in a sprint. That's like Britney Spears level.

Speaker 3 So how long can they can they go for?

Speaker 4 I'm not entirely sure. I got to look that one up.
They're probably sprinters.

Speaker 3 I don't imagine.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But here's another fact. Black, fight back, brown, lay down, white, say goodnight.

Speaker 3 So if you're wondering.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Say it again. That's fantastic.

Speaker 4 Black, fight back, brown, lay down, white, say goodnight. So polar bear, you're fucked.

Speaker 3 You're absolutely fucked.

Speaker 4 A black bear is a little bitch you black bear you actually want to fight back but you want to like make a lot of noise get big like drop the gloves and be like let's go buddy black bears are whenever you see like uh direct chapman videos that says dogs bruh and it's like a little pekinese that chases away a bear in somebody's backyard it's always a black bear and brown you're just so grizzly bear you just go on lay down and pretend you're dead yeah But then polar bears, they're also scavengers, so they'll eat dead things too.

Speaker 3 So you're screwed. Got it.
That makes sense then. So yeah, so that's actually really good.
So if you see, so a polar bear, you just probably just want to run.

Speaker 4 Honestly, just, I have no idea. I've never seen one.
How's their eyesight? Could you, could you like get dressed in all white and blend in with the snow?

Speaker 4 They see in color. I'm not too sure.
Maybe just dig in the snow.

Speaker 3 Okay, burrow.

Speaker 3 Burrow.

Speaker 4 Hibernate.

Speaker 3 Just dig right in the snow. Okay.
Okay, so you're going to be doing it.

Speaker 4 Oh, you know, hand them a bottle of Coca-Cola and then they'll smile and wink at you.

Speaker 4 Oh, another fun fact, polar bears have never met a penguin in the wild.

Speaker 3 Oh, different.

Speaker 3 Is it different?

Speaker 3 Wait, Hank, go ahead. Hop in, Hank.
Hop in whenever you want. No, yes, I see you.
I see you.

Speaker 6 Oh, I'm good. North.

Speaker 3 Hank.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 no, get in there. Seven poles.

Speaker 4 One's North Pole, one's South Pole, right?

Speaker 3 Which one's which?

Speaker 6 Penguins are in the South.

Speaker 3 Correct. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Fuck yeah. They love the sun.

Speaker 3 So that kind of ruins like a lot of, I feel like children's books and cartoons, like polar bears and penguins just kicking it together. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I remember there was a far side cartoon. Did you ever read that one?

Speaker 4 Where there was a polar bear on an iceberg wearing a beak, like with a string around it, and he was eating all the penguins one by one. And I remember like two people wrote letters to the cartoonist.

Speaker 4 It was like, actually, this can't happen.

Speaker 3 And then he published it.

Speaker 4 Darren Revelle was one of them. It was absolutely Darren Revelle.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So male bears are called boars while females are called sows, which is like pig terminology. So I thought that was interesting.

Speaker 3 That is interesting.

Speaker 4 This is another, this has kind of been circulating the internet, but 175-pound black bear once ate 88 pounds of cocaine and died.

Speaker 3 Hell yeah. We ate 175-pound black bear? That's a small bear.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 They call that an otter.

Speaker 3 That's crazy. I didn't know they made bad.
The craziest part of that story is 175-pound bear, not the 88 pounds of cocaine in my mind.

Speaker 6 Was it like he had like 100 grams of cocaine, and it was the 80th gram that killed him?

Speaker 3 Or do you just

Speaker 4 eat 88 pounds? So there was turns out there was like a lot more. Like there was some drug runners who were dropping stuff into the woods.

Speaker 4 And then the DA went out into the woods to try to find the dropped drugs and found a dead bear with 88 pounds of cocaine in his stomach.

Speaker 4 So what we know is that a bear can handle 175 pound bear can handle at least 87.5 pounds of cocaine.

Speaker 3 Yeah, black bears can party.

Speaker 4 Well, I wonder if polar bears, how they handle the snow.

Speaker 3 What about the one

Speaker 3 Billy?

Speaker 3 A lot bigger.

Speaker 4 That was great. Get the flake going.

Speaker 3 What about the I fucking love cocaine bear?

Speaker 4 What kind of bear was that? Probably this bear.

Speaker 3 Whoa, Hank, are you wearing underwear?

Speaker 3 Hank's nude. We just saw his balls.

Speaker 4 Hank just put his balls on the live stream.

Speaker 4 So there was a bear that fought for the Polish in World War II against the Nazis.

Speaker 3 I remember seeing this. Vojtech.

Speaker 4 That's a podcast.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That bear's a badass.

Speaker 4 We should write a movie or we should write Vojtech into boner dogs.

Speaker 3 Billy, how old do bears live to?

Speaker 4 I think they get about 20, 25.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 Like dogs, you know?

Speaker 4 No, dogs are a little bit younger.

Speaker 3 Yes,

Speaker 3 we all hope that dogs live to 20 or 25.

Speaker 4 Now,

Speaker 4 can you put a saddle on a bear and ride it? I saw that once in a Golden Compass movie.

Speaker 3 Okay. Oh, and Poop Man.

Speaker 7 The HBO show that Golden Compass is about is pretty good.

Speaker 3 What's Golden Compass?

Speaker 4 It's this book I read when I was little.

Speaker 4 It was like supposed to be the next Harry Potter, but then the the guy, the author, kind of went nuts in the next book, so they couldn't really make it a children's thing, you know.

Speaker 7 But they made it, they got they made it into an HBO series called His Dark Materials. It's pretty good.

Speaker 3 He's like that, uh, that that uh YouTube kids YouTube star, Blippy, who did the Bukaki?

Speaker 3 No, not the Bukaki either.

Speaker 4 He shit in the hot tub, right?

Speaker 3 He shit, no, he shit in his friend's uh face. Okay,

Speaker 4 I thought there was Joey Salads.

Speaker 3 No, Harlem Shakespeare. Joey Salads drinks own pee.
Okay, my My mistake.

Speaker 3 We're down a little rabbit hole there.

Speaker 4 Billy, when it comes to these bears,

Speaker 4 are they in the dog family?

Speaker 4 No, bears are close. Bears have claws like dogs, but they can't retract them, but they're their own separate, like...
Their ancestors branched off from dogs a long time ago.

Speaker 4 There's actually a cave bear from North America that was one of the largest

Speaker 4 land predator mammals on earth. That was like huge.
Like, I think it was like six five standing up. No, that's a holy shit.

Speaker 3 The cave bear. I'm looking at it right now, Billy.
This thing is no joke.

Speaker 4 Dude, yeah, they said that it was the only thing that our ancestors feared like more than anything on the planes.

Speaker 3 So they were, they were, they got up to 1,300 pounds. Oh, my God.
Oh, no, 2,200 pounds is the biggest one.

Speaker 4 Think about how much cocaine that bear can do.

Speaker 3 Dude, that's a lot.

Speaker 4 That's like a Keith Richards bear.

Speaker 3 That's like, um,

Speaker 3 wasn't there a movie that had a well, we had the whatever the that movie, the remnant, but wasn't there another one where it was like a huge, enormous bear, prehistoric size?

Speaker 4 I think maybe Night at the Museum, like 10,000 BC, was it in that?

Speaker 3 No, I think it was Night at the Museum with Steve Crow.

Speaker 4 I just found an awesome like tin sign that you can hang up in your living room. It says, Welcome to the man cave.
And it's just a giant grizzly bear. And it says, uh,

Speaker 4 it it says, uh, no responsibilities or empty glasses. Women allowed only to replenish food and drink.
That's pretty badass. I might get one of those.

Speaker 4 The governor of Moscow trained bears to serve uh vodka,

Speaker 4 so that's another famous bear.

Speaker 3 That's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 Didn't Wojk, the bear in the Polish army, the one that like carried the artillery shells, didn't he smoke cigarettes?

Speaker 4 He knew how to salute. I know that.

Speaker 4 I'm pretty sure he did, maybe just ate cigarettes.

Speaker 3 Okay, what else we got?

Speaker 4 Polar bears mating last longer than panda bears by an hour.

Speaker 3 Polar bears

Speaker 3 last longer than panda bears. But wait, don't panda bears only go like a minute?

Speaker 4 Yeah, but polar bears go for like hours.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay. But it wasn't like it's pretty easy to last longer than a panda bear.

Speaker 4 Right, but those are the two sides of the spectrum.

Speaker 3 Got it. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 How long does it take like a black bear to nut? I got to figure that one out. I just, that was the one fact I saw.
I got to go look at the data. Okay.

Speaker 4 Do you think that has anything to do with the cold? Like it takes longer to bust because it's like so chilly outside.

Speaker 4 You got to ask the bears.

Speaker 4 There is a polar bear, grizzly bear hybrid that a couple people have spotted one shot in Canada.

Speaker 3 They actually look pretty cool. A Pisly?

Speaker 3 It's a growler. A growler bear.

Speaker 3 kind of.

Speaker 3 It kind of looks like a panda. Oh, wow.
Isn't that a panda? Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, but like, it's huge. This thing's very cool.
It's like its arms. It looks like it's got a farmer's tan.
So like the body is white and then the arms and the legs are brown. We all watch Tiger King.

Speaker 4 You guys know ligers?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 4 You know how they're bigger?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 4 Well, groller bears have the same thing.

Speaker 3 So they're like groller bears. I love groller bears.
Although, yeah, I guess if you're going for like, what's the more intimidating name? Groller is definitely more intimidating than a Pisley, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Next time we buy a lacrosse team, we should name it the Groller Bears.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 4 The bears, only predator on earth, the only thing that hunts bears is tigers in Asia.

Speaker 3 Well, and humans.

Speaker 4 True, but natural predators.

Speaker 3 Got it. Okay.
Tigers in Asia beat bears.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like panda bears.

Speaker 3 Oh, panda bears are pussies. Yeah.
But like sloth bears.

Speaker 3 Panda bears would be like the would be like the brooklyn uh podcasters of the world like they they live indoors they're they're they're only to be gawked at they don't know what like a hard day's work is anymore that's a polar bear yeah they're lazy all the time it's yeah basically impossible to get them to mate with anyone We're just here for our listening enjoyment or visual enjoyment.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's what a polar bear is.

Speaker 4 What about koala bears? Are they bears? My sickness.

Speaker 3 Not bears.

Speaker 3 that was very

Speaker 4 that was very dismissive of you guys

Speaker 4 don't be a fucking idiot pft

Speaker 4 they're calling koala bears though you can at least agree that that's a little bit misleading polar bears are of chads

Speaker 3 yes yes they're burgers yeah they're simps what uh all right what else we got This has been good.

Speaker 4 They're black bears with a genetic variation that they appear white. The Native Americans call these bears a Kermode, and they're like, they call them like the ghost bears.

Speaker 4 If you like see one, it's good luck or something. They're like in a certain peninsula in Washington state or Canada.

Speaker 6 Got to look that up.

Speaker 3 Okay. Oh, that's close enough to around the same area.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what else we got?

Speaker 4 What is the

Speaker 4 regional distribution of bears in the United States? Where are you least likely to find a bear?

Speaker 4 You're least likely to find a bear in, well, black bears are honestly becoming a huge problem like near New York City. 30 minutes outside New York, there's like black bears in New Jersey.

Speaker 3 In Connecticut. Yeah, Tony Soprano.
They're everywhere. And Tony Soprano.
You remember that episode, Hank?

Speaker 4 It was after the ducks left him, and then he got really depressed. And he had to go see a psychiatrist because the ducks leaving reminded him of like his dad and everyone else.

Speaker 3 But he really wanted to fuck the psychiatrist.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Melfie. So he dreamed about fucking her.
And then eventually he actually remember the ducks part.

Speaker 3 I don't remember the bears. I don't remember.
Did they fuck?

Speaker 7 Yeah, they fucked. Oh, they definitely fucked.

Speaker 3 Might have just been a dream.

Speaker 4 But it it was a dream.

Speaker 3 It was a very vivid dream. Yeah, I think they might.
Oh, no.

Speaker 4 She had the dream that they fucked. And then she woke up and she had to tell her psychiatrist.
And then I'm sure her psychiatrist had a dream about Melfie fucking him.

Speaker 4 That's what all psychiatrists think about.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, back to you, Billy. Yeah.

Speaker 4 There's bears on Long Island.

Speaker 3 There are bears on Long Island. Okay.

Speaker 3 Interesting.

Speaker 3 Yeah, how'd they get out there?

Speaker 6 Oh, no,

Speaker 4 bears are everywhere except Long Island, New York City.

Speaker 3 Okay, so they can't get out on the islands. Got it.

Speaker 3 That's good to know.

Speaker 4 Can't they swim?

Speaker 4 Polar bears can swim close to like 100 miles.

Speaker 3 Whoa.

Speaker 3 So we shouldn't feel that bad about global warming because at that point, it's like polar bear, you had a chance to get off that iceberg and swim back to land.

Speaker 3 That's true.

Speaker 4 bad polar bear swimmers died.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 4 All the bad swimmers died.

Speaker 3 Well, Well, but also because

Speaker 3 they melted their and also because it's like a lot of fat people go out on January 1st and jump in the water and like polar bear.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 Billy, you know, you've grown a lot like in the last couple years and you've become more curious. And what one thing I appreciate, I just noticed this right now.

Speaker 4 When I asked you if bears could swim and you said, yeah, polar bears, they can swim like 100 miles.

Speaker 4 If this was Billy from three years ago, I would have thought that you thought that polar bears can swim really well.

Speaker 4 And so your like instinctual measurement would have been like, yeah, they can go for like 100 miles. But now I think that you actually know that their range is about 100 miles.
And it wasn't a guess.

Speaker 4 Wait, let me just look at that up because I mean 30 miles.

Speaker 3 30, that's close. That's like 100.
Yeah. Yeah, that's close enough.

Speaker 4 One case as far as 220 miles.

Speaker 3 There you go. Right.
That's tides.

Speaker 3 If they get a good tide, like they're fine. Currents, that's probably the one you're

Speaker 3 Yeah, you can just sit in the current and just let it take you. Lazy River, body surf,

Speaker 3 miles. We got anything else, Billy? Um,

Speaker 4 yeah, that's pretty much all my bare facts.

Speaker 3 There was a couple ones that weren't as you know, exciting, but well, I want to say thank you because you somehow did this without making a Mitch Trubisky joke, so that was good.

Speaker 3 Um, I fully expected something there.

Speaker 4 Bears can't throw,

Speaker 3 okay,

Speaker 3 they can't throw right.

Speaker 4 I don't think there's any example.

Speaker 3 Actually, Mitch can't throw left. He can throw right.
That's why we actually, the Cam Newton, like, Cam can't throw right.

Speaker 4 It's interesting because Bears usually disappear for a while right around January, right?

Speaker 7 I forgot to ask you this last night, but how mad are you that Cam isn't on the Bears? Like those videos.

Speaker 3 I said that on Wednesday.

Speaker 7 Then there's been more videos that have come out since then where Cam just looks like an absolute monster.

Speaker 3 Yes, I think he's going to have a good bounce back year and people are going to be like, wait, why did we not pick him up?

Speaker 7 He looks like an absolute freak.

Speaker 3 I hope, I mean, Pigeon's not going to get him, but I hope for now.

Speaker 3 Billy, do you have that hot take about quarterbacks you wanted to lay on us before we let you go?

Speaker 4 In order to be a good quarterback in the NFL, you got to be an absolute weirdo.

Speaker 3 Okay. All the cool guys burn out.
You can't be cool.

Speaker 4 I think that was the psyche behind getting Daniel Jones for the Giants was like,

Speaker 4 they don't want someone who's like, cool guys don't work out.

Speaker 4 You want a guy who's either like Carson Wentz where he's just kind of like forest guy, like, doesn't really think about all the noise, like, someone who can't even process the noise, you know? Eli.

Speaker 3 Eli.

Speaker 4 Whereas Baker Mayfield, he's taking on the noise.

Speaker 3 Careful, careful.

Speaker 4 Real swag is no swag.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Careful with Baker, though.

Speaker 3 What do you think? You don't think Patrick Mahomes is cool?

Speaker 4 Well, he's got the whole Kermit thing going.

Speaker 3 I mean, he's,

Speaker 3 you know, but it's like, you know?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I feel like, too, if you want to be a cool guy, like you want to live that single guy lifestyle, too. Mahomes has never really done that.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Big Ben was kind of cool.
I mean, not to like everyone, but some people.

Speaker 4 It's also weird. Like, look at his beard nowadays.

Speaker 3 True. That is weird.

Speaker 4 He's become weird. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Cam Newton. Weird.

Speaker 4 Weird.

Speaker 3 He's definitely weird. Peyton Manning?

Speaker 3 A little weird.

Speaker 7 Super weird.

Speaker 3 He's the closest to normal.

Speaker 4 He wasn't cool until the end of his career let's not let's not change history if you look at the older quarterbacks i feel like some of those guys were cool and good at the same time like joe montana his name was joe cool dan maria john elway john elway was a cool guy different era one of the coolest guys only won one super bowl and debatably was it his did he carry the team i'm i'm a new york guy i mean

Speaker 4 like i'm even admitting that wait for who

Speaker 3 joe naman oh got it

Speaker 3 yeah but he did win a Super Bowl. But yeah, you're right.
Okay. We'll have to go through it.
We'll have to just go. Maybe we'll do that list.

Speaker 3 Maybe next week when we do a deep dive, we'll list all the quarterbacks that won a Super Bowl and we'll decide cool or not cool.

Speaker 4 Exactly. Or multiple Super Bowls.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because, well, like you could make the argument that Tom Brady might have been cool at the beginning of his career, but then he got kind of weird.

Speaker 4 Or he was cool during the years after the first three and then before the second three.

Speaker 3 Interesting.

Speaker 4 Maybe you could also say that winning multiple Super Bowls makes you weird

Speaker 3 and cool.

Speaker 4 We're gonna have to dive in.

Speaker 3 We're gonna have to set aside put a pin in that one, big cat.

Speaker 4 That's that's the parking lot idea. We'll come back to that.

Speaker 3 Wow. All right.
Wait, Billy,

Speaker 4 before we let you go,

Speaker 4 we were supposed to talk about hibernation. Was there anything else about hibernation you wanted to share? We got kind of sidetracked on bears, as we tend to do.
We can't hibernate.

Speaker 4 It's not going to work.

Speaker 3 The science isn't there.

Speaker 4 I'd like you to explore that a little bit further. What's the difference between hibernation and a coma? Hibernation, you're actually like brain is operating like in a coma, like your

Speaker 4 internal systems are operating too fast. Wait, so when you're hibernating, you're dreaming the whole time? No, it's actually different than sleep.

Speaker 4 A lot of animals that wake up from hibernation actually don't like they act sleep deprived, like they haven't slept.

Speaker 3 Well, if you sleep too much, you can be sleepier. Yeah,

Speaker 3 interesting.

Speaker 3 All right, so Billy, can people can we have people

Speaker 3 send in ideas for what you should do for deep dives? We'll have them tweet us.

Speaker 4 Should I set up a deep dive Twitter?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you might want to. Yeah, let me.
I mean, kind of like a Wikipedia club Twitter.

Speaker 7 Jay kind of, yeah, Jay kind of swagged on your old Twitter account.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he swagged. He swagger tracked you.

Speaker 3 Wait, don't we have the Tommy Gucci Twitter account? We do have Tommy Gucci.

Speaker 3 I think we have Barcelona.

Speaker 7 No, we don't.

Speaker 4 I might have the password for Tommy Gucci.

Speaker 3 Let me see. All right, All right, we'll get Billy set up with a deep dive Twitter and we'll just have it because that's really where you always like thrived was facts.

Speaker 3 And that was kind of the beginning of the Wikipedia club.

Speaker 4 What do we want to call this? Like Billy's Corner?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we can do something like that.

Speaker 3 Billy's Deep Dives. Chalk Talk.

Speaker 4 Chalk Talk?

Speaker 3 Chalk Talk.

Speaker 3 I like that.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Billy, thank you. We'll see you next Monday.

Speaker 4 Thanks for having me, guys.

Speaker 3 All right. And you feel better.
Everyone should know Billy feels better. Still stay inside, though.

Speaker 4 I'm staying inside, just looking up facts.

Speaker 3 All good.

Speaker 4 Stay healthy out there, everybody.

Speaker 6 Yes. Thanks for having me.
Love you, Billy. Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 come

Speaker 4 to

Speaker 4 needless to say

Speaker 4 I'll stand in spite

Speaker 4 somewhere in a way.

Speaker 4 Slowly learning the life is okay.

Speaker 4 Say of me.

Speaker 4 Life's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 6 Life's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 6 Drink on the head.

Speaker 6 Drink on me.

Speaker 6 Hard things that you say

Speaker 6 in a light ball. Just to find out a reason why

Speaker 6 you're all things I've got to remember.

Speaker 6 Shine away.

Speaker 6 Well, I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 6 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 6 take on me

Speaker 6 I'll

Speaker 6 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.