Jason Biggs, DK Metcalf and Aaron Donald, And An Old School Skype Show

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, we have a little bit of a weird one because we have Jason Biggs.
Awesome interview with Jason Biggs. And then we tried the most ambitious interviewing possible.
We had DK Metcalf and Aaron Donald Super Bowl week. We had DK Metcalf planned for 11 a.m.
Aaron Donald planned for 11.30. DK Metcalf showed up late.
Aaron Donald showed up early. So we interviewed them together.
And it really made no sense. But I think it was pretty funny and weird and stupid.
And I can tell you that you won't hear a Pizza Hut interview any different than that. We also have some more Rob Manfred's An Idiot,

which is a theme now of this show and every show in America,

Hot Seat Cool Throne, and because it is Wednesday,

Guys on Chicks.

Before we do all that,

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Okay, let's go. No place to hang out or wash in.
And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. Part of My Take.
Presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take.
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Use code BARSTOOL for $10 for free and $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, February 19th, and this is Part of My Take Speed Edition.
And speed, I'm not talking about the drug PFT. I'm talking about the fact that I cannot move a muscle while we record this episode because I'm in Detroit.
You're in Atlantic City. The microphone, the Zoom recorder doesn't work.
So Hank has a rig set up. And he looked me dead in the eye right before we started recording.
He said, if you move an inch, everything will be bad. Okay.
Well, good luck. You're like the opposite of the movie speed.
Yeah. No, well, you know how they like sit there and then they run the camera over on loop and loop and loop.
You can do that for me right now because I'm not going to move the entire episode. So Dennis Hopper's sitting there, RIP, saying, hey, wait a second.
I've watched this movie before, Wildcat. And then he wanted to fuck Sandra Bullock.
That's actually great for you, though. Talk about a skill set that matches up perfectly with what you're doing right now.
You are legally not allowed to move off the couch. Yes, with the TV on, watching games.
So I'm in heaven. I think you just made up that fact that Hank told you, and you're just saying, I'm under doctor's orders to not just like that time that you made us all go over to your apartment because you had some fake back injury.
Yeah. And you wanted to just not move and watch Sunday Night Football, which is different than the time that you got surgery for of injury.
You didn't need to get surgery for that is a different time. Yeah, that's a different time.
Different. Got it.
But yeah, it is going to be a weird. It's actually going to be a weird week, part of my take, because you're going to be traveling around.
I'm going to be here in – actually, a lot of similarities between Atlantic City and Detroit, Michigan, two wonderful places to go visit in February. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
So we're going to be doing Skype. It's going to be a little bit of a throwback this week to the 2016 days.
I like it. All right.
So with that said, with the table set, I would like to read something to you, PFT, a thought starter, if you will. And I won't tell you who it's from.
You can decide. It starts with, listen, I know I don't play baseball, but I am in sports, and I know if someone cheated me out of winning the title, I found out about it, I would be, now I don't know what word they're using here, because it's an F, then there's a star, then there's an up arrow, K-I-N-G.
So it's not even, yeah, I mean, keep the feet. Yeah, keep the feet, all right alright he would be fucking irate

I mean like uncontrollable

about what I would

slash could do

listen here baseball commissioner

listen to your players speaking today

about how disgusted, mad, hurt, broken

etc etc

about this

literally the ball

and it's a baseball emoji

is in your court

that's actually not literal

or should I say field

Thank you. about this literally the ball and it's a baseball emoji is in your court that's actually not literal or should i say field and you need to fix this for the sake of sports hashtag just my thoughts coming from a sports junkie regardless my own sport i play that's a great hashtag that you finished it out with um hashtag just my thought would have good too.
I don't know why I didn't drop a hashtag on that one too, but I actually think the best part of that entire thread that LeBron James put out was listen here, baseball commissioner, because a lot like the rest of America, LeBron James can't be bothered to learn who the commissioner of baseball is. But I've been forced to hear his name.
I think just like a month ago when we were down in New Orleans talking about Rob Manfred, I think I said a part of my take just in passing and whoever the commissioner of baseball is because that's just not a wrinkle that I wanted in my brain was to know that guy's name. It's like learning the name of an offensive lineman or a referee in football.
If you learn a commissioner's name, it's because they fucked up at some point. I just moved a little, and Hank shot me a fucking dagger.
Sorry. Do we have to start over with the show? No, we're good.
We're good. I agree with you.
I was going on an epic rant about learning about learning commissioners names right there i don't know you kind of killed the momentum of that one i agree with you that the q rating of rob manford has gone significantly up these past few weeks and it's not for a good reason the fact that it's now crossed over into lebron james like lebron is just bored because it's still all-star break nba doesn't come back until Thursday night. And so he probably did some deep digging.

And by deep digging, I mean he probably watched Get Up and scrolled through Twitter and was like, hold on.

This is fucked up.

Listen here, commissioner.

Like an old guy grabbing a young kid by the collar

and being like, listen here, kids.

Get off my property.

So good hashtag with LeBron. I wish he had just done the whole tweet as a hashtag because i feel like we're close to that with lebron i mean uh just my thoughts coming from a sports junk junkie regardless my own sport i play that's quite a hashtag so why not just go the whole tweet and then we all have to like stare at it for a while uh like a magic eye poster trying to figure out what he's saying and we get a little bit closer to the nba being back well what obviously happened i think you're right he was watching espn or espn2 this morning enjoying a nice breakfast cabernier sauvignon and then he heard rob manfred say uh that the trophy is a piece of.
And LeBron just spit out his entire mouthful of dry red wine, covered his flat screen TV with it, and could not believe that a commissioner would disrespect a trophy like that. And so he had to get in front of it as a sports junkie, regardless of my own sport that he play, and put his two cents out into the world.
And I do like how you can say whatever you want like reading this tweet and reading the hashtag at the end it became apparent that if you put something in hashtag format you can get away with saying a lot more like you could say something really really controversial as long as it's preceded by a hashtag you like if aubrey huff had tweeted uh hashtag i want to kidnap iranian women and force them to feed me grapes on my atv i don't think that he would be in the same position he's in for whatever reason that the number sign in front of uh whatever statement that you're trying to make kind of takes the sting out of it a little bit yeah aubrey huff would be at the 2010 sarah chisco giants Series celebration taking place this summer. So Rob Manfred

did the double

press conference. When you

do a double press conference,

you fucked up. That is

always a sign. It's the old Urban Meyer.

When Urban Meyer says something really stupid

and then comes back and is like,

hey, I didn't mean the really stupid thing,

but then says even more

dumb things on top of it

to just make it significantly worse. So Rob Manfred pulling the Urban Meyer today got in front of the world and basically was like, my bad, I screwed up.
And then after all we've heard is that the players have insisted they weren't using trash cans in the 2017 playoffs manford says that there was evidence that they were and the evidence was statements from players so he again has contradicted himself his own players his report like everything is on fire he is the dumpster fire gif and there's nothing he can do to put it out and i'm hoping i'm hoping pft we get the the rarely seen triple press conference i need another press conference being like hey guys that other thing i said also not right so let me try to clarify it even more and do an even worse job of fixing this it's like baseball needs a vice president of They need one too, not only the Astros. Rob Manford, they should do the dumpster fire gift for him, except it's Alex Bregman beating the shit out of the side of the dumpster while it's on fire.
Right. And then MLB is coming out of the top of it.
I think he's like, if we're going to actually attach a gift to this scandal right now, he would be sideshow Rob. And he's just stepping on rakes in every single press conference that he gives.
But he's actually doing a good job filling the gap between the end of XFL week two and the start of the NFL combine. So for that, I appreciate him giving us something to talk about and for him to give LeBron James something to occupy his brain for the two days that he has off until he gets back to playing basketball.
Yeah. By the way, Hank, what was the quote that we found that our, our colleague hubs was fine.
It was nice enough to find a quote that Alex Bregman had on our own podcast that he said, what was it? His favorite unwritten rule is the rules that get you beaned with fastballs when you deserve it. So that sucks for Alex Bregman that he had that quote.
That's a tough quote. You hate to see it.
To now have an entire – you're facing an entire season. And that's actually really the story here because we're not going to – like nothing's going to change.
Rob Manfred has had ample opportunity to suspend any of these players. It's not going happen so instead of using your energy to be like he should suspend the players use your energy to wish and hope that all the astro players have career horrific year years at the plate and then it further proves that they were cheating and also hope that everyone shows up to the games with trash cans and they all get beaned.
Maybe not headhunted because I won't root for injury, but just chaos for every – like they should – the Astros being a sideshow of their own right all baseball season is what we all need to root for collectively at this point. Absolutely.
I want to have every single opposing team team playing just trash cans getting beaten like it's like it's uh the play stomp on the jumbotron for the walk-up music for every single player that was on that 2017 team oh yeah people are going to go crazy with it it's going to be awesome i'm very excited for it um what other stories we don't really have many other stories i saw uh the only other story you know it's a slow sports day when we spend basically the entire morning talking about uh gun slash poop girl on twitter so that was pretty much that was that was our tuesday february 18th in the world of sports i think that she's almost become more of poop slash gun girl now. That's kind of more what she's known for.

I got an opportunity.

I was lucky enough to interview her over the summer when I was – what city was it?

It was one of those debate cities that they had.

Oh, it's actually Detroit.

It's where you're at right now.

I got you there.

And I asked her if she pooped herself, and she looked at me, and she goes, does that turn you on?

And to be honest, it kind of did. I think I might be a gun poop girl simp I mean in that moment you could see it in the reflection of your sunglasses that it definitely did turn you on but no but I mean it's like we're in that weird spot where college basketball obviously has been awesome uh Dayton by the way buy all your Dayton stock because, I mean, they've been unbelievable, but they also have like a weird, you know when you see a fan base like start tweeting you like, say something nice about this team? Dayton has done that to the max.
I have been requested to say something nice about Dayton every single day for the last month and a half so here's me saying something nice about Dayton but we are in this weird sports like zone where March Madness hasn't started NBA's off gun slash poop girls causing riots and Rob Manfred is stepping on rakes slash lighting himself on fire and LeBron's doing a super long hashtag so that's where we're at yeah I think the biggest the biggest NFL story that came out today was Florio getting upset that Joe Burrow has yet to sign his name in blood on a contract saying I am absolutely dying to be a Cincinnati Bengal and so we're trying to like parse his words a little bit and see if he is if he's going to pull like a Eli Manningning or a john elway or something like that even though all he said is uh i'm going to go play for the team that drafts me basically but yeah we're really dissecting that a little bit but i do want to say in major sports news today i just remembered this and i want credit if it happens i had a dream last night my dream oh cool let's hear about your dreams no here's all i'm gonna say joe joe burrow was the quarterback of the carolina panthers oh okay and then halfway through my dream he changed into tua so you're dreaming about joe if either one of those situations occurs where one of those two quarterbacks plays for the carolina panthers i want my subconscious to be credited for for breaking that news uh here's the part about the Joe Burrow story that I don't understand so he has not said anything about like oh I'm not going to play for Cincinnati he has not done an Eli Manning we've all just assumed it but like why wouldn't he the Bengals yeah I mean people forget Carson Palmer was ready to retire from the Cincinnati Bengals instead of playing for them. The only reason he got traded to the Raiders is because Jason Campbell got hurt and the Raiders did something desperate.
Like, this is a franchise that is not committed to winning. And again, I think Joe Burrow is going to go play there.
He's going to be a star there. He's probably going to bring them out of the depths of hell.
But even Bengals fans will tell you, like, their ownership does not care about winning a Super Bowl they just want to be NFL owners sell some tickets and maybe go to the playoffs every couple years like that's not a franchise that wants to win and I'm talking that from someone who roots for a franchise that doesn't really want to win a Super Bowl in the Chicago Bears like and PFT you the Redskins doins do not want to win a Super Bowl. So we can say it from a point of we know exactly how it feels.
Why wouldn't Joe Burrow be like, I don't want to go to a place that doesn't want to win a Super Bowl? Hank, you're the same way too. You root for the Patriots, and they've had a bad run of the last 13 months.
It must be tough. And I want to correct one thing that you said, Biket.
I think that the Redskins do want to win a Super Bowl, but Dan Snyder is so thoroughly incompetent. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Hold on.
There's a difference, though. Of course, every franchise wants to win a Super Bowl.
The Redskins, the Bears, the Lions, the Bengals, the Browns. There's a list of probably 10, 15 teams that don't want to do what it takes to win a Super Bowl, and that is hire smart people.
Step away and run it like a professional franchise and invest money, invest dollars in training staff. There's a list of things that model franchises do, and there's probably, no joke, like a third of the NFL just doesn't want to do it.
They just want to be in the NFL. And it's like 75% of baseball that really doesn't care about that either.
But you're right. I wouldn't blame Joe Burrow if he did end up going down that path at all.
I don't think that he's going to, but I would not hold it against him if he decided, you know what, I'd rather not play for a team that didn't have an indoor practice facility until a tornado hit the city of Cincinnati three years ago. Right, right.
It's one of those weird things where we're all talking about it and we're getting pre-mad at Joe Burrow, even though, again, he has not done anything. But even if he did say it, I don't think you could begrudge him because it would be the correct move for his life.
Yeah, but getting pre-mad is a lot of fun. There's nothing quite like getting worked up into a lather when it comes to sports.
And I say that just my thoughts coming from a sports junkie, regardless of my own sport, I play. All right, if you want to watch us, by the way, if you want to watch us by the way if you want to watch me not move if you want to watch pft in atlantic city you can do it barstoolgold.com slash pmt let's get to our hot seat cool throne and then we're going to get to our interviews with jason biggs and then the dual interview with dk metcalf and aaron donald rarely done where we had two separate guests booked and then just combine them to interview them at the same time because their time slots overlapped and we said fuck it uh very weird but very fun when your home system or appliance breaks down american home shield will help fix or replace the covered item no matter its age visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. PFT, why don't you start? Is Bubba going to do it? Bubba's going to do it as well.
Bubba, why don't you start? I don't have one. Okay.
So your hot seat is you and your cool throne? Greg Olson. Greg Olson, cool throne.
Greg Olson. Okay, there we go.
Yeah, he signed with the Seahawks, right? Yeah, that's good. You're up to date on it.
I thought Greg Olson was going to retire, so I was happy to see him on the Seahawks. I was happy to see him on the Seahawks, too, but then it also meant that he kind of may have taken a spot from our buddy Luke Wilson so that's well we'll figure that out yeah I mean Luke always he's always around he'll he'll stick around but you know what uh it means that he's not signing with the bills and not signing with the r-words I know the r-words are getting rid of Jordan Reed so maybe Luke Wilson will go to Washington or he'll go to Buffalo, two teams that I think we could find it in our hearts to cheer him on for.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
All right, PFT, what's your hot seat, Coltron? Thanks, Liam. That was great.
Thanks. Good job, Bubba.
My hot seat is death. Death is firmly on the hot seat.
I don't know if you – I mean, I assume that you watched the end of the Daytona 500 yesterday. Denny Hamlin got the W.
At the finish line, Ryan Newman's car got flipped. He got broadsided.
It was honestly, like, sickening to watch. I didn't see it as it happened.
I was in my kitchen looking over my, like, cabinet area. I saw the checkered flag.
I saw them say Denny Hamlin wins. And then I walked over to my TV about two minutes later, and it was honestly one of the scariest sights that I've ever seen watching sports.
I was genuinely afraid and sad about what was going on at the time. And the fact that he was able to survive that wreck with i know it's you know it's probably serious injuries but the fact that he's still alive is just it's incredible and it's honestly like a testament to what nascar has done since dale earnhardt passed away at the daytona 500 like 20 years ago it's like genuinely a miracle that he got hit going 200 miles an hour he got got flipped and T-boned and he was able to survive.
It was incredible. It was terrifying in the moment, but now that things have kind of settled a little bit, it's kind of amazing to think that humans were able to design a car that can help somebody survive that.
So death is on your hot seat because death didn't show up. Because death didn't show up.
Got it. Absolutely.
Got it. Okay.
Your cool throne? My cool throne is slugs. Oh, that was mine too.
Oh, really? You had slugs? Well, no, because John Beeline got fired slash walked away. No, John Beeline mutually agreed with himself that he was not going to return to coach the Cleveland Cavaliers in the second half of the season.
So Kevin Love doesn't have to deal with him anymore. If we're going to stick with kind of the gift theme of this episode, he's the Grandpa Simpson walking in, putting his hat on the coat rack, turning around, picking up his hat, and walking out the front door for the way the way the season has gone so i don't know 12 nba wins if you had a conspiracy mind i i don't i'm a connect the not the the dots guy not a conspiracy theory guy i would say that maybe diehard ohio state fan lebron james had something to do with getting michigan man john bayline out the door but i'm not so i won't say that so my cool throw actually Cavs players because I don't think there's ever been a situation where a team has hated its coach from the get-go more than they hated him so uh yeah and also just the cool throne of now we don't have to do this whole college coach to to pro and thinking that it's going to work when oh yeah uh the guy's 18-year-olds that basically have no other options and basically don't get paid, so they have to listen to everything you say.
It doesn't work the same when you go coach grown men who make a lot, a lot of money. So I love when that happens, when a college coach thinks they can go to the pros and be just as much of a dickhead as they were in college and then everyone in the and everyone in the nba or nfl is like hey we don't really have to do all these things that you're making us do because we kind of know how to do it ourselves we're professional athletes we make six times as much money as you do right uh has it ever really worked out like larry brown is one example that i'm thinking of where it's kind of worked out a little bit at times.
But besides him, I'm struggling to think of. I mean, is what's his name? Coach for his job, Hank? Brad Stevens.
Brad Stevens. Okay, he's not then.
All right. So then that's worked out, right? Okay.
It's worked out perfectly for everybody. Oh, also my cool throne throne is...
Who went mute? PFT, you just muted yourself. Good.
Good. You deserve it.
Why? I can't hear you. Yeah, I can't hear you.
That's what you get, PFT. PFT just went mute.
We'll keep this in. He just went fully mute.
You did

one too many GIFs on a fucking

podcast.

I was going to say it was more the Homer Simpson

one. Yeah, the Homer Simpson one

just muted your ass.

PFT can't respond

to any of this.

I don't know why this is happening.

You short ass bitch.

Can't respond.

He can't respond.

He can't do anything.

Who goes to Atlantic City in the winter?

Yeah, who goes to Atlantic City in the winter, you weirdo?

How about now?

He can't respond.

Can you hear me?

He's just yelling into the mic right now.

There's nothing he can do.

I can hear you.

I don't know what happened, but he's...

Thank you. I don't know what happened, but he's...
How about now? Oh, there he is. What's up? Hey, we didn't say anything about you while you were gone.
No, I heard everything that you said. Why is Hank mad that I was talking shit about his Patriots? No, he's okay.
He's okay. He was just talking a little guff about Atlantic City.
What really sucked was while you were saying all that big cat, you were moving around a little bit, so I guess you can't use any of that audio. Nope.
It's all good. Hank's been watching.
We're good. All right.
My hot seat is Mark Rick. So he tweeted a picture of his dinner, which was a hot dog just slathered in beans and ketchup.
And I think there's some cheese on there. I don't even know what's going on.
But this is the guy who had a heart attack like three months ago. And he's just out there stunting on everyone with his hot dog delight that looks so unhealthy.
And he doesn't give a fuck. That's a true football guy to be basically be like laugh in the face of heart attacks and eat that and put that on Twitter.
I am P.T. I know you saw this.
This is disgusting. Oh, it's his birthday dinner.
It's his birthday dinner. It's his favorite food in the world.
This is hot dog delight. Word of advice, if you are preparing any food, if you're a chef and you're coming up with a recipe, just put the word delight or surprise at the end of it.
And you've got a winner on your hands. But yeah, this is the ultimate football guy move because college football players, when they're getting into coaching, they go straight into being a grad assistant.
And then they kind of work their way up the system that way. So they don't leave college for probably 10 or 12 years after a normal person would.
So to them, if you can't cut it up and throw it into like a bowl of ramen noodles, then you might as well be eating foie gras or something way too fancy. So this is just what a college kid would have in in their pantry chopped up and then thrown onto like a piece of bread yeah that's what he made and i guarantee he calls his wife it's probably like uh miss lucy or whatever this is miss lucy's uh favorite treat that she knows to make him on special occasions i was gonna say i maybe he's missing a word in his tweet it says hot dog delight my favorite birthday dinner i like i feel like it should say hot dog delight my favorite boys and it's like talking about his dog or something you know i mean like my favorite pets dinner i think it might be the other way i think that it's not even his birthday today i think he was just scrolling through his phone and saw a picture that he took on his birthday when he was eating hot dog delight and he just wanted to post like just fyi this is my favorite birthday dinner hot dog delight or even it's not his birthday but he made that today like really it has nothing to do with anything this is just what i like to eat every birthday but i'm also just eating it today randomly yeah it's deconstruct what it is.
It is his birthday. He turned 60.
So congrats on turning 60, Coach Rick. You got to eat what looked like throw up – like you ate your dog's diarrhea, then threw it up on top of a hot dog.
It looked like you ate something that looks like what Manny Diaz coaches like. Yes, there you go.
The U is back. The U is so back.
All right, let's get to our interviews. We're going to start with Jason Biggs.
Then we have the dual interview, the most ambitious crossover ever, DK Metcalf, Aaron Donald. Together, Aaron Donald walks in about five minutes in.
We also have a bonus guest of Brandon Walker trying to fight DK Metcalf. So so it took a lot of turns and then we started eating a lot of pizza so let's get to that right now but first we will do jason biggs okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is jason biggs you know him as an actor your entire life uh he is in a new fox comedy called outmatched correct is that based on a true story uh not specifically but the right you know the creator of the show is a parent and you know it takes this idea that uh you know parenting is insanely difficult and you basically give birth to these alien creatures that you you know have trouble communicating with and every day you feel like you're in over your head i mean are you a parent yes i am yeah so you get it yeah well my kid's only eight months so he doesn't really do anything just wait just wait but uh i like the i'm in on the show just because it listed you as a guy's guy i mean that's pretty much it so basically just a guy's guy working class class couple.
Mike and Kay. I play Mike.
Maggie Lawson, awesome, hilarious, plays Kay. High school sweethearts, blue collar, Atlantic City, New Jersey.
They have four kids, three of whom are off the charts, genius, smart. And what about the fourth? The fourth, not so much.
Damn. She's their favorite.
Okay. And yeah.
know it takes this idea of just your average couple you know trying to figure out how to raise these like insanely smart children right you listen i'm a dad to a six-year-old and a two-year-old don't know if they're geniuses obviously they're smart but they're obviously obviously i know i said obviously i was like Wait, I guess I shouldn't have said obviously. Well, clearly.
I mean, they're my spawn. Yeah.
So they're smart but they're obviously obviously i know i said obviously i was like wait i guess i shouldn't have said obviously well clearly i mean they're my spawn so they're obviously very gifted right good looking they speak german they do speak german that's crazy it is kind of crazy yeah are they bilingual they're bilingual fully bilingual what how did you guys decide to do that so my wife uh studied in heidelberg after college and then met a guy, had a boyfriend there for a while who didn't speak any English and lived with him and his family. And that's the father of your child? That's the father.
That's the real father of my children. Right, right.
Okay, that makes sense. I thought it was great.
So he's around pretty often. To be honest, he's around more than I am.
So that's why they speak so much German and that's why their English is limited to words like, get out of my house, you crazy German. You're not my dad.
Yeah, you're not my real dad. Their English, that's pretty much all they know how to say because that's all I'm saying.
Have you ever seen a person that's trained their dog in German because dogs respond better to those types of commands? Yeah, well, there's like security german shepherds and stuff that are only take german commands or adobe doberman pinchers but actually so my wife comes back from heidelberg with fluency in german and no one to speak it to and she got a dog this little toy poodle and she just immediately started speaking german to the dog so when i met her she'd had this dog for already for six or seven years and would be speaking german to this little tiny poodle who only understood german right like he wouldn't he knew i couldn't say hey let's go for a walk or hey you want a cookie he would have no fucking clue what it meant you can cuss okay good i see you saw the pause there right he was like let it go how much Yeah, exactly. Let him fly.
Shit, man. So anyway, I was like, that's so weird, but okay.
You've got a poodle that speaks German. And then when we had, finally, when we had our kid, first kid, she was like, I want to speak German to him.
I was like, great. Why not? What the hell? So do you know it? I know context a little bit.
I don't really know. That's a no.
It's basically, it sounds a little, I guess I can understand a little bit. But for the most part, it's like, you know, Charlie Brown, that teacher.
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. That's what my house sounds like to me.
That's what I hear. Yeah, the German language is weird because I think when you listen to Spanish or you listen to French or the Romance languages, you can kind of pick up through intonation.
Well, yeah, you're right. There's like that little element of English that kind of comes across sometimes.

But there's also more variance in like the emotion

that's being conveyed.

That's true.

With German, you can be like, I love you.

And it's like, I just, I just.

Yeah, it's very harsh.

Yeah, and you're like, oh, God.

It's not a soft language.

It's very direct.

And they have like, it's kind of crazy.

They have words to describe very specific things. So like're where and i can't give you an example so don't ask for it but where we will have to sort of describe things using uh many words they'll have a word for it you know um you know i don't know the shitty example but like we would have to say i'm uh pooping door closed.
They have a word for pooping, but they also have a word for pooping with the door closed. You know what I mean? Very efficient.
Very sort of efficient. We're just going to skip it.
It was like Schadenfreude. I don't need to say all those syllables.
They've got that word that means like you take pleasure in other people's pain. Schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude, which is, we could just call it Marv Albert over here, but they're just like Schaden like shot in Freud which is great you're actually the first guest that we've had in our studio since we've officially installed this bench press when you walked in were you like fuck I'm so intimidated by these alphas well be honest with you I saw I didn't even see the bench press because it was your muscles were blocking it I couldn't see past the but yeah you fair. But yeah, you guys are fucking jacked.
It's kind of crazy. But now I understand why.
How much do you bench? I benched about that. What's up there now? 135? Yeah, 135.
That's what I benched. You want to give it a rep? Yeah, I would add one plate.
Okay, we'll try at the end maybe if you're up for it. All right, so I have a question you were we're of the age so we're both 35 i almost said 34 we just turned to 35 so american pie obviously was right in our sweet spot yep was there a moment when you're doing that movie and you would act it all your life and you went to tish and and you had a dream of being you know an actor you.
Was there a moment where you're like, that was good, but it's not going to be huge. And then have that transfer into be like, oh, my God, this is a phenomenon.
I'm famous now. Yeah, I mean, there was it was interesting when I when I auditioned for that movie.
It was the summer of 98, spring of 98. and I was auditioning for that movie it was the summer of 98 spring of 98 and i was auditioning for every that was like the peak of teen movie yeah like craziness every other movie was a teen movie and it was awesome for a teen actor i was 19 at the time but to be in la and at that time was pretty awesome and so i was auditioning for everything and you know you'd read these scripts and be like oh okay but please if you'll take me I would love to do this movie you know I would have taken any job obviously and I remember when I read American Pie which wasn't called American Pie at the time but I read that script thinking oh man this one this one's better than all the other ones this is pretty dope this is hilarious like it was the first time i was like laughing out loud at a script and i read that role of jim and i was like fuck that'd be dope to do this like this will stand out for sure because it stood out on paper right and i happened to get that was the one i happened to get you know like how incredible so and then when the whole cast got together and i remember that first table read of the script when all the cast was in place i remember afterwards like talking to some of the other guys eddie k thomas is a really good friend of mine he played finch in the movies and we had known each other before american pie actually we were both kid actors in new york and uh we were talking afterwards we're like this seems like it could it's dope right like we so we kind of thought and then as we started filming it and the and the really the chemistry of us of us main guys sort of the four main and then and then sean william scott right because we just had like the best time i mean we were just we were just kids we had no we were just having the the most fun we've ever we had ever had in our lives up to that point right and it translated on the screen i mean we were just four five buddies just hanging out right and uh so we were like this maybe it could be something all that being said you know we still had no fucking clue you know like we shoot the movie and you just kind of go okay i guess we'll wait and see what happens you know.
You know, we knew it was universal. So it was like not some little indie, which I had been doing a bunch of, you know, you, you show up on set of this movie and you go, oh, cool.
And you tell your mom, I'm doing a movie. And then it's like five years later, what happened to that movie you did? He's like, I don't fucking know.
I mean, that, that still happens to me all the time, you know, but this one felt like, oh no, no, no, no, no. It no, no, no.
It's going to come out. It's like a real thing I did, you know? And then what really sort of crystallized it was they released a Red Band trailer.
Now, nowadays, the internet, it's like, you know, we're kind of anesthetized to it. I don't know.
But at the time, when they were just doing trailers in the movie theater, really, they released a red band. You know, you're so used to seeing that green thing come, you know, following preview.
And then the red one came out and it showed a clip of me fucking the pie. And it was the equivalent of going viral today.
You know, whatever that was. I remember when it happened, it was like, oh, this is too hot for the movie what is this like yeah i felt like i was like being a bad kid because i was watching that trailer totally and it was like a hit of heroin i was like i want more i need to go chase this and you're exactly right like that buzz i still remember it was like i gotta go see this movie theaters and there was it was the beginning of the like internet kind of there were like some it did kind of went the equivalent of viral at the time which still wasn't you know now it would be everywhere obviously but but but it was it was more of a like kids were talking about it right did you see that red man holy shit what is that movie using all the uh aol chat rooms back in the day it was just like horny dudes yeah pretending that they were 17 year old girls and then other guys being like, yo, did you see that trailer? Exactly right.
No, but I love checking out these 17-year-old girls. Right.
They respond. So then it comes out and then you're like, oh, man, this actually is everything we thought it would be.
Yep. I always am fascinated with people who have like overnight fame at a young age.
Did it fuck with your head? You know uh sure i mean for me fame is still like super surreal and crazy like i it's not something i'm just used to i mean it is part of my life and so in some regards it has become a normal thing but conceptually it's still so crazy it's ridiculous it's so it's so bizarro that i. You know what I mean? It still trips me out all the time.
But at the time, yes, of course it did. It amazed me how quickly it happened.
Yeah, for sure. The next day, so it came out on Friday.
On Saturday, my buddy and I were walking to go get breakfast. We were in LA and we left our apartment to go get breakfast.
And we just had one street to cross we came to the intersection and we crossed that street and the first car parked at the stoplight the people they were like a group of teens and they stuck their head out the window and they were like oh my god oh my god do the dance do the dance and I like I was like hey what's up and like walked to breakfast with my buddy and my buddy we were just sitting there kind of like we didn't say anything for a while because we were like, what the fuck? Right. And he literally tells me, he's like, your life is about to change.
Holy shit. That's awesome.
Yeah. It happened that fast and you had that crystallized moment.
Oh, everything's different. It was crazy.
Now, I also had been doing this for like already at that point, I'd been doing it for 15 something years. Right.
And had had some cool gigs. Nothing like that.
I'd been on a TV show and like I would get, you know, I'd get, I got recognized once or twice, you know, like and then it was canceled and I would go back to being a kid in school. And then I did, you know, whatever.
I worked enough and sort of saw the ups and downs already at that point that I think I was a little bit better prepared than most insofar as I didn't take it for granted. I appreciated the absurdity of it, still do, and also expected it to go away, which it kind of did.
You know, like it's, I mean, I'm still the guy. Like that hasn't gone away.
I still get recognized all the time. But in terms of the sort of the consistency of work, you know, like I got thrown every movie.
It was like, I was busy as fuck for two, three, four years. But I was like, this is going to chill at some point.
And of course it did. You know, that's what happens.
It's good that you recognize the absurdity of it. I feel like a lot of people don't sit back and think of it from a big perspective of like, it is surreal that people all over the world know who I am.
It's crazy. Because if you look back just like throughout history before like photographs or movies, there would be like two or three people in every country that people knew, right? It would be like the king, it would be like, I don't know, the best warrior and and maybe the hottest chick.
That's about it, right? And nowadays, it's like so many people are having to deal with it. And basically, nobody is prepared to deal with it.
So I think that I don't want to say detachment, but having that perspective of like, it is weird that this is happening actually is very, very healthy. Yeah, there's an there's and there's another element in today's it like when i got famous in 99 it was a kind of fame that still was happening you know not on the reg it was like oh you're in a big you broke out holy shit like everyone saw that movie you know and it became a thing that sort of cemented a certain status that would carry with you know that I would carry with me for the rest of my life.
Nowadays, anyone can be famous. Yeah, people are on TikTok.
Right? It's like now you're literally overnight. And it's something people really shoot for.
I mean, look, people through generations have wanted to be famous. You know what I mean? But now it's so within people's reach and the desire has has multiplied i think so much like and you could any day any point any moment any sort of guy's guy could just be a fucking could become famous you know and for any sort of thing it doesn't even you know who knows what how crazy would that have been if instagram was around right when you were becoming famous at 19? The DMs? Dude.
DMs would have been popping. Well, I think about Instagram, Twitter, and, you know, for me, it all happened after I had already met my wife.
If I was single, like, dangerous, though. Dangerous.
Very dangerous. Dangerous, man.
The internet is forever. I actually have a question about your Twitter.
Were you the first person to ever be canceled on Twitter? Ooh that is a good question i don't think i was the first i didn't realize that you had some tweets that were very early internet and i hate the like going back like 10 years and being like oh well this but you did get uh fired from your teenage mutant ninja turtle gig right yes which is a hilarious sentence but um you were kind of the first you're too edgy for the internet yeah it was uh you know it was interesting I Twitter came around at a time for me when you know I was struggling with my own sort of identity I'd been American Pie famous for these all these years you know it had been about it had been about you know 10 plus years 15 years at that point. And was starting to see the effects of you know of being so closely associated with one role in terms of how it affected my career and then twitter came around and i saw it and i have a pretty dark you know i like to fuck around and and i i you know i have a provocative i guess sense of humor at least i thought i did and i twitter kind of became this outlet for me to just kind of fuck around and show like hey you know what everyone sees me as like this wholesome little american pie guy even though ironically american pie is anything but wholesome right but but there was this sort of identification i think people had and i don't know i just had fun and my wife and i were kind of concurrently because she's fucking nuts the both of us were just kind of taking a twitter and just kind of saying weird crass whatever things other people were doing it i'm a huge howard stern fan you know for me like that kind of comedy where you just you know go for it fuck it whatever you know which now does not work no okay uh unless you're grandfathered in like howard stern yeah right but it but for me i was like oh cool man i could say whatever the fuck and the overwhelming majority of people loved it i kept getting all these followers so in my head i was rationalized it was like no people love it okay cool it kind of became a bit of a persona that i had um we my wife and i would live tweet the bachelor and we would take the piss out of all the contestants or whatever which is great which is great right but um you know it sort of just became this thing and i took it too far man and and uh you know and at the time i didn't realize it i was really you know because there were also like it was a political stuff happening and so i felt like the wrong people were after me for the wrong reasons and so i got defensive and all that shit and it just made it worse man at the end of the day uh you know now i see with perspective you know and and some distance and you know just i'm a fuck am i a different person i mean this was pre-kids this was you know i'm sober now it was like dude that was a different fucking time for me and like and so now i see it and it's like i gotta own my shit man i made some fucking tweets they were in poor taste you know now they would never fly i'd be canceled before i even fucking hit send you know what i mean but but it's like okay you know i did it i gotta move on but looking back it's actually kind of like a very funny ending that you the the repercussions where you lost your job voicing leonardo yeah yeah that's funny that's rock bottom that's very funny to me like when i read it it was like jason biggs loses job voicing teenage videos like wait this is real you know i'll be honest i'll be honest with you this is very therapeutic for me you guys you guys saying that and just even talking about it but uh because for me it was fucking heavy yeah i mean it was a was, you know, because I I'm a nice guy.
I mean, I pride myself on being a hard worker and a nice dude. I treat everyone with respect.
I feel like my reputation is such that people on sets know me. They know I'm nice.
Their stories about me being a good dude, you know, just like there are certain, you know. That's important.
That's important to me a hit this was like oh fuck man i don't mean oh my god i'm right i'm an asshole no i'm not i i fuck man i don't mean to be an asshole holy shit and it really fucked me and i got fired and it fucked me up man yeah and it's taken a long time really honestly for me to sort of come around on that you know and uh anyway so it it's good. When you put it in perspective like that.
But, you know, at the time. Wait, who took over as Leonardo? Seth Green.
Oh, that's a good hire. That's actually.
That's right. I read that, too, and I was like, God damn it, Seth Green.
Listen, that's a great hire. You have to admit.
I love Seth, honestly. I was just with him last weekend at the Super Bowl.
He's a great dude. I love him.
I've actually known him since we were kids in New York acting but he yeah so he came in and was like okay I'll take it you know and I don't blame him I don't blame him you know at the time I was like at the time because I was so messed up by the whole thing I was like what fuck that why are you taking like you know like people should protest people should not take that job be like no bigs bigs only should have that job there's only one leonardo one leonardo and it's biggs you know oh that's great so you pride yourself of being a great guy how come you uh told hank to go get you some fucking coffee right when you walked in the studio well i said please yeah no it was kind of it was kind of rude you mentioned the uh super bowl so are you a sports fan yeah of course who are your teams uh giants unfortunately that's cry when Eli retired no it's time it was time he belongs in Canton he should he should get there 117 117 two Super Bowls two uh dude and defense kind of won those count the rings I'm just doing that last I actually agree with you I think for that last drive for David Tyree that whole drive I mean that by the way, people think about David Tyree catching that ball. Remember that scramble, getting out of that.
That play was dead. I was at that game.
Jared the Redson did that. I was at that game.
I was like, all right, it's over. That's it.
There he goes. There he goes.
They would have blown the whistle on that if it happened this year because he was kind of in the grasp in the pocket. You might be right, man.
He scrambled out. And then I actually think the pass to Manningham was more impressive.

The drop in the bucket. This is, again, very triggering to Hank.
And the Plaxico touchdown. I mean, the whole thing.
The whole drive was pretty sick of it. So are you in on Danny Dimes? Danny Dimes.
Yes. Oh, that didn't sound like you were in.
You had to repeat his name like, okay. I came around on him.
when when he was drafted i literally was like this is either the stupidest draft pick in history or the smartest like it is and then he came out with that first huge game 342 yards something insane yeah and i was like okay it's smart pick and then he settled into being a rookie quarterback, and frankly, he doesn't have a lot of help.

But I like him, man.

I think he's a stud.

I don't know that I personally would have passed on Hoskins

or some of these other guys,

but I think it's going to end up being good for us.

So you said that he doesn't have a lot of help.

What you might not know is that Saquon Barkley is a big listener to this podcast,

so you just kind of trashed Saquon.

Not Saquon.

Jason Biggs is officially trashed.

Would you like to apologize to Saquon Barkley?

See you next time. Saquon Barkley is a big listener to this podcast, so you just kind of trashed Saquon.
Not Saquon. Jason Biggs is officially trashed.
Would you like to apologize? I would like to apologize. Saquon Barkley.
Which part of Saquon? This is the difference between 2020 me and 2010 me. I'm going to apologize right away.
Immediately. Saquon, if you're listening, I'm a massive fan, bro.
Yeah, but which part of his game do you think is bad? The receiving or blocking for Daniel Jones? You're such a dick. I wasn't talking about Saquon.
You were talking about his best friends. Yeah, yeah.
Got it. Got it.
I have two crazy things that you can decide which one you want to talk about. Your wife hired a hooker for your birthday.
Uh-huh. And then she also accidentally posted your testicles on Instagram.
True. Both true.
What the didn't like jason when i was doing research for jason biggs and i did not expect to find these tidbits you know a guy yeah yeah you see his balls on instagram yeah man did you know my whole ass is tattooed no see there you go wait you're serious no okay i would have believed yeah i say drop, drop. Wait, so your wife hired you and a hooker for your birthday? So, yeah, it was.
That's pretty sweet. It was like we'd been married.
Well, we got married at nine months, and it was sort of soon after that. I mean, we were still even, you know, we barely knew each other.
But we went to Vegas, and she thought it would be fun. It was my birthday.
She was like, you know what?

What can I get?

And it ended up being just a comedy of errors.

It was just a disaster.

American Pie 5.

Dude, literally, I was like living an American Pie movie.

The whole thing was a shit show.

Just a disaster. My wife was laughing through the whole thing.

Nothing about it made sense.

Nothing about it was hot.

The whole thing was just ridiculous. So she's's had upper hand forever since yeah yes and no i mean it's not like it it wasn't for me like oh such an amazing experience can't believe my wife got it was almost as if she was doing it for the story right do you know what i mean it was and and frankly i maybe i was too a little bit you know and uh and so it was fun and hilarious but it wasn't like hot it wasn't hot at all right and ended up being a disaster we didn't have enough money i had to like run to the atm and my boxers the whole fucking thing dude it did my car got declined the whole she ended up leaving oh my god she had a nail appointment we were taking is all crazy, true.
It was just fucking ridiculous. And so she wrote this crazy story in her first book about it.
And it's hilarious and, you know, got some buzz. And so now occasionally people like you guys will ask me about the hooker that my wife hired me.
But it was a real just disaster. Has she any other birthdays? No, no, no, no, no.
That's fucked up. That was one and done.
No, because you know what? The truth is it really was about the sort of us having this kind of adventure together and less about like we're that couple we don't swing we don't fucking do it so it's it's just what it is what it is now my testicles yeah yeah uh so i guess i'm not choosing i guess i'm doing both yeah do both okay uh that was a trick that was a trick you got me interview by the way it's like oh wow they're letting me go any direction no you're answering both yeah you guys are good you've done this before a couple times yeah so um that one yeah i was like i was on the toilet i think and she walked in and took a quick selfie in the mirror and i was you know the background. I had a magazine covering my package.
Guys, guy. Or most of it, I thought.
And she posted it, and I went on her Instagram, and I saw the photo, and I was like, those are my nuts hanging below the magazine. You can see my fucking balls.
I'm looking the picture up right now. Well, now I think it's...
She then took it down, down, reposted it. Blurred, yeah, TMZ got to it and they put a big black square in front of it.
Actually, no, you know what? Big being the... Here's one, a tiny red star.
She looks good. Yeah, she looks great.
In that picture? I can't see, but I'm sure. She's hot, man.
She's fucking hot. She knew what she was doing.
Yeah. Oh, she took the photo on purpose, but she didn't know that you could see my balls.
Yes, but where my balls Not to get too into the physics of it Would you like to see my penis Not to get too weird or anything But can you show me your balls right now Why isn't your dick showing But your balls You have an erection My penis is pointed up It's resting on the magazine. It's on the magazine.
Okay, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm holding my penis up with the magazine. It's a bookmark.
It was a really cool article that I needed to save. I was like, go ahead, babe.
Take your picture, but I'm keeping this page. Oh, I love it.
I love it. I'm not going to ask you if you've ever actually fucked a pie, but I will ask you what your typical response to that question when you get asked that question is another trick i like if you're being interviewed by like if you were being interviewed by someone i'm not gonna ask you no two losers that don't know how to do what would i say to them what would you say to them right that's good uh well i would say to them not you guys but i would say to them that uh no never actually fucked a pie and even that pie was a fake pie was like a fake pie crust and then we put real pie pieces kind of all around on my thighs and you know all around my junk to kind of make it look like my childhood is ruined I'm sorry dude I did not actually have my dick in a pie damn sorry how often do people come up to you on like a given day they're gonna say how often do you fuck yeah how often do you do that but also come up to you and say like hey jim what's up yeah uh jim uh pie fucker uh um that one happens yeah hey pie fucker um american pie is just kind of the it's the state if it's not jason or jason biggs the most common thing is oh american pie you know that's sort of their boom that's their connection um what about orange is the new black so now but that's interesting yes so then uh once orange is the new black hit um a whole different kind of generation of kids that maybe hadn't seen american pie uh but had but now are streaming kids you know are watching oranges the new black and you know i would get larry all you know like oh my god you're an artist back oh my god larry and sometimes they i you know i would start talking to them and be like have you seen american pie and they were like no and they did not actually see american pie which is wild to think that there's this other generation of kids that maybe isn't even familiar with that movie.
It'd be nice for continuity's sake if you just fucked a pie in every role. I know.
So like no matter what. No matter where I go, people would be like, Pie Fucker.
You're in Orange, New Black. It's like, all right, here's the scene where I fuck a pie just so people.
It could call me continue to call me Pie Fucker. Or just like have one cooling in the windowsill in a random scene.

That way you get the internet to start doing your work for you.

And we're like, you know what?

The character from American Pie grew up and now he is the male lead in Orange is the New Black.

Like the internet loves those kind of conspiracies where we tie movies together.

It's true.

You just have like a pie in the background and you just like walk past it one time rubbing your hands like rubbing my hands licking my lips it went down

touching my balls i actually think saving uh saving silverman is a wildly underrated movie

that i get a lot too yeah yeah i love that movie it's funny as shit well that very funny dude uh

jack black in like his you know second big role steve zahn hilarious uh neil diamond in only the

Thank you. Dude, Jack Black in his second big role.

Steve Zahn, hilarious.

Neil Diamond in the only other movie he's done besides The Jazz Singer.

And just ridiculous.

I mean, the movie was ridiculous.

It was very good.

So I don't think you get enough credit for that.

Thanks, man.

I'm here to give you credit for that.

I'll take it, happily.

All right, I got one last question.

SeatGeek question, promo code TAKE. You get $10 off SeatGeek purchase.
So we're with Jason Biggs. Outmatched on Fox.
Debuted January 23rd. It's out every single Thursday night at 8.30.
Love that. We're live, right? No, this is not live.
Very good. No, go ahead.
You can say it. Well, when is it? Because I was going to say this week's episode.
No, we haven even been recording Oh cool Hey Jason Biggs wants to come in and pretend that he's a big star And do an interview and we're like we'll do make pretend with him We said we'll bench with him But we're not going to actually record it I don't know if you've ever heard of it But you guys are the sweetest to do this for me Thank you so much That actually really touches me that you would actually do this and pretend to be recording me within the next big time podcast this is my i'm i'm popping my barstool cherry there we go perfect this is very exciting uh all right so what were you gonna say because it will come out within the next week or two yeah so uh well tonight's episode tony danza is playing my dad which is or sorry this thursday uh tony danza is playing my dad so I don't know if it's already passed. Does he die in the one episode he's in, or will he be back? He will hopefully be back.
Okay, so there you go. Yeah, he will hopefully be back.
He fucks a pie. Nice.
Yeah, because again. Nice.
He's got to have it. Like father like son.
Like father like son. A pie was actually your mom.
Yeah, you learn where I learned it from. It's pretty dope.
Now that you mention it, you've had your dad played by a lot of really cool actors over the years. It was Eugene Levy, Dan Aykroyd, right? Dan Aykroyd played my dad.
Who else am I missing? Tony Danza. Tony Danza.
Does your real dad ever get like, hey, what the fuck? He's probably very... He's a fan.
My dad and I, we watched SCTV, so when I told him that Eugene was going gonna play my dad he was holy shit it was dope yeah he thought it was so cool still does um yeah my dad but but my but i get a lot on the internet like when i post a photo of my real dad or you know people freak out they're like i thought eugene levy was your dad this is really this is i'm like really sad this is kind of killing an image for me that i thought you know you're ruining my childhood um all right well jason thank you so much uh i don't care what everyone in hollywood says i think you're a fine guy thanks man yeah yeah you know all those rumors that you're the worst yeah not true right not to you guys not to speak to everyone else no this has been awesome uh go watch outmatched on fox thursday nights jason biggs thank you thank you guys let's bench that interview with jason biggs all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with reese's and hershey's only one reese's peanut butter lovers protein bar bar is made with Reese's peanut butter and only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and three grams of sugar. One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.
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Now, DK Metcalf and Aaron Donald. And now for something completely different.
We now welcome on CL Seahks wide receiver, DK Metcalf. He's here with Nesquik.
What are we doing with Nesquik, by the way? Oh, man, you know, it's just like a partnership. I call it a marriage.
Okay. At the end of the day.
It's a good partnership. You got a nice chain on the Nesquik chain.
Yeah, they're taking care of me. Also should let everyone know that aaron donald so we had dk set up at 11 aaron donald 11 30 the miami traffic is the worst thing in the world so not your fault but there will be a moment where aaron donald walks in and we're going to interview both of you at the same time and we're probably gonna have to ask who benches more weight because you both are big time bodybuilders yeah so do you know aaron donald at all just played against each other.
That's it. Okay.
So we're all going to get to know each other together on the podcast. This could be a special day.
Yes. All right.
My first question is, why don't you go by your full name? Because I was looking that up and it's fucking awesome. Can you ask your colleague that? Yeah.
Okay. PFT.
Why doesn't he go by his full name? No, no, no, no, no, no. Why doesn't he go by his full name? Why don't you go by your full name? Oh.
Wait, so do you listen to the show? Do you know who we are? Yeah. You had a nice smile on, and I can never tell.
So you do. Okay.
But DeCaylon Zacarius. Yes, sir.
I mean, that's badass. Thank you.
Sounds like you could be in the Game of Thrones, maybe taking over one of the seven worlds or whatever it was, but that's an awesome, awesome name. Yeah.
Well, my teachers couldn't pronounce my name growing up. So you had to make it easier for them.
Right. I got duckling all the time for some reason.
Joe Tessitore can't pronounce your name either. True.
Decaf Metcalf, I believe is what he called you. We got a coffee deal out of that, though.
That is good. So he actually did you a favor by messing it up.
That's nice. Yeah.
My first question for you is do you skip leg day? No, I don't. Because you paused for a second.
I feel like I know that you could bench press more than me. You could probably put up like uh 215 something like that max out around there but i think i could squat more than you maybe because you're shorter than me yeah but i don't i don't think that's possible not possible no how much do you bench right now like 355 what for one rep yeah i could probably do it for one Okay, whatever.
Is it true that you benched 50 pounds and squatted 100 pounds when you were five years old? Yeah. How is that possible? You were just a five-year-old that could bench and squat and just run it around? Well, me and my dad, you know.
He played in the NFL? Yeah, that's what we did. For fun.
That was father-son time. That was our father-son time.
That's a great father-son time.

Weightlifting.

That's a good way to bond, but I don't know.

Do they make weights for five-year-olds?

Yeah, they have like a little 10, 5, and 2 1⁄2 set.

Like a little tiny bar?

That must have been really cute, actually.

Yes.

I got a couple pictures.

You do? Yeah.

Fuck yes.

When was the first time you had a six-pack?

When I was sixth grade, fifth grade. Oh my gosh.
So like 10 years old, 11 years old? 11, yeah. 11 years old and you're rocking a six pack.
That's like when I drank my first six pack of beer. Right.
Actually. Yeah.
We're not so different. Did you take, when the three cone drill stuff happened, did you, was that hurtful when they were saying Tom Brady's more athletic than DK Metcalf? I didn't care.
Yeah? Yeah. Do you think there's anything to that stuff? I mean, obviously that was the big knock on you, and everyone was saying you were a draft bust and all this stuff.
Yeah. When you see that, does that motivate you, or are you just sitting there like people just don't have any idea how good of an athlete I am?

Yeah.

I mean, it motivates me, but at the same time, everybody's different.

Right.

You know, you can't just judge me by what I did in college

or by what I did at the combine because, you know,

it's just a smidgen of football.

Right.

Ultimately, being compared to Tom Brady and anything

is probably a good thing, right?

Right.

Yeah, he's the GOAT.

Right.

I have an article here from Bleacher Report.

You probably already read this.

It says, all sizzle, no steak.

No steak.

DK Metcalf is a first-round bust waiting to happen.

That's the exact headline that's on here.

It said that you look like you could beat up Batman.

That's a weird thing to put in the lead of an article.

So I think you probably proved that person wrong who wrote that. You had a really good rookie year.
But do you keep all that stuff in the back of your mind? Yeah, I got what round I was drafted in, what pick I was, how many receivers went before me, and all my weaknesses hung up in my locker. Right there.
We have a guest question we want to do.

Brandon, come over here.

This is a big... Why don't you actually sit right there

next to DK? He was eyeing me when I walked in.

I figured

you had something up your sleeve.

Brandon's going to ask a guest

question. Brandon Walker, for those who don't know.

Go ahead. Hi, DK.

What's up? Big fan. You played

at Morley Bankrupt Ole Miss

in college. Can you speak

to the fact... Can you make a comment on the fact that you guys had a losing record to our rival Mississippi State? Why are you over there? The games I played in? You were one and two.
Yeah, you were one and two. So I don't know if you can tell, but Brandon Walker's from West Point, Mississippi.
Ew. You played at Oxford High School you here you wish you played in a better place like west point this chaos here we have aaron down here yep much more important than brandon walker to dk mecca how you doing aaron welcome wait so dk what's up man how you doing so dk continue answer the question aaron we're gonna do a double interview here like i'm i'm gonna go back to back with your questions.
I never lost to West Point in high school. I don't think that's true.
Is that true? You're going to become a liar. West Point has won 11 state championship.
Oxford has never won one until you left. We got one, yeah.
But, you know, y'all never beat me, so that speaks volumes. I don't think that's true.
What about the morally bankrupt part? Ole Miss, morally bankrupt. I was wanting to know when I played in the games, and I dog pissed on him.
Thanks. Do you think that helped lose the 2000? Go ahead.
Go ahead. So you dog pissed on him.
Correct. Do you think you inspired somebody else to dog piss and lose a future game? I inspire a lot of people, and, you know, whatever he did, that was on him.
It is crazy to think about how your dog piss that inspired the second dog piss also had such a domino effect on, like, everything that happened in the SEC this offseason and, like, coaching changes all the way from, like, Florida to Washington. Your dog piss started that.
Do you feel proud about that? I don't think my dog piss started that. It did.
You're a trendsetter. It did.

Alright, so we have Aaron Donald here as well.

Aaron Donald's here with Pizza Hut. We got a

Pizza Hut Nesquik combo.

So he's here with, DK's here with

Nesquik. You're here with Pizza Hut.

Aaron Donald, thank you for joining

us. Do you think you can bench more than DK Metcalf?

Yeah.

Oh!

There was a little hesitation in there. Okay.
you bench five found it pounds what i can change my answer from earlier you said 350 before you got here oh that's it yeah that's it are you serious yeah 500 what's working on a long time. Damn.
That's insane. I should also let you know, I know that you train with knives in the offseason sometimes.
One of us in this room, we have a knife on us, and we're going to attack with it. I don't play.
Not real knives, though. We have a real knife.
One of us is going to attack you with it at some point during this interview, so just be on the lookout for that and try to fend him off. It's a fun game we play.
Like you're chopping your neck or something. 500 pounds.
That's insane. That is insane.
We were talking about before you got here, Aaron, how people were saying DK was going to be a draft bust. Did you have anyone who came out and said something negative about you? Anything you have as a chip on your shoulder? I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure there was.

A lot of people consider me undersized for my position.

So there was a lot of doubt that think I wasn't going to have success in the league.

But, you know, you just go out there, you play ball.

I actually have one right here.

Aaron Donald, have fun trying to be a good at football with a pussy name like Aaron Bust.

Who said that?

Me. trying to be a good at football with a pussy name like Aaron bust me.
You said I was going after it was a shot at Aaron Rodgers. I'm a Bears fan.
So I hate Aaron Rodgers. And I was I think that year I said bust for every single player except the Bears pick, which was Kevin White, which he was the bust.
Yeah, that kind of sucked now that I'm thinking about that. But yeah, so I'd like to think I motivated you a little bit.
Wouldn't you say? I kind of want to get up and get in right now. I'm motivating him right now.
Who's harder to defend in practice, Blake Bortles or Jared Goff? They're both good quarterbacks. Yes, good answer.
Good answer. You lay off Blake, right? Like if you're taking a rep against him, you don't put your whole body weight.
I don't touch my guys. Yeah.
I don't touch him at all. He's a good friend of ours.
What did you think when he shaved his head? You thought it was a good look? What did you think? I thought he looked awesome. He's always handsome, but now he's like extra.
It fit him good, huh? Yes. Yes, it definitely fit him good.
I mean, we've been busting been busting his balls for a lot of years. Like, he wasn't hiding it very well.
He was bald. And, you know, he would do the quick, take his helmet off, put his hat on in one motion.
And enough was enough. It was time for him to, as Kyle said, go home and shave the whole head.
So you guys are rivals, right? Those games are pretty intense. When you're out on the field, like, you know, now that the Seahawks, I guess the Seahawks kind of had a resurgent year and the Rams going off the Super Bowl, are those games when you're playing the Seahawks, when you're playing the Niners, the Cardinals, are those games feel more intense even though there's not like that old school Ravens-Steelers rivalry? Yeah, I think for sure.
You know, you play on the team twice a year. You know each other.
You see each other a lot. You know, you're going to definitely, you know, it's a competitive sport, you know, definitely in the division.
So we'll be bumping heads. I heard him out there talking a couple of DBs out there.
We played them. You talk shit? No.
Yeah, he do. Yeah, he do.
Okay. You know, they got Jalen Ramsey on their team, so, you know.
Oh, he talks shit first. Who was y'all saying, though? I can't say it on air.
Say it. Yeah, yeah, come on.
These cameras are off right now. Yeah, yeah.
We'll turn off. We're not recording this.
Bro, I'm not stupid. Come on.
I know what Dan's talking about, man. Yeah.
Dan's talking about pizza. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. They're like, DK, you don't even like pizza.

And you're like, I do love pizza.

I do. Do we have some Nesquik?

Do we have Nesquik?

Yeah, we got that, too.

Yeah, yeah.

Get us some Nesquik.

That's my favorite pizza right there.

Oh, yeah.

So what's pepperoni, sausage, banana peppers, no sauce?

No sauce.

What's your problem?

Just eat it and see.

You'll see what I'm talking about.

All right, I'm going to take a bite.

One bite.

One bite.

Two bites.

You can get a bite, too.

All right.

He'll have a bite as well.

Can I give it a score?

Two bites.

It's okay.

That's one bite.

Yeah.

You got to really absorb it.

Now give me some Nesquik.

Give me some Nesquik.

Well, you like it.

Oh.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

Not bad.

Everyone's passing me something at the same time.

It's not bad. It's good.
I've never had pizza without a sauce Pizza Hut Wings Sunday That's what you need to get to for a weekend This is like the Wayne's World commercial when we're selling out and every ad is like and now I'm gonna wash it down with the beautiful Nesquik That Nesquik is delicious. Wow.
Now we're all just eating pizza. This podcast just turned into lunch.
It's a pizza party. Yeah.
You get ready for a Super Bowl. Do you think that you're too small to be good in the NFL? No.
I think I'm the right size. The perfect size.
I think I'm the perfect size. Perfect size? Yeah.
You don't want to be too big. Are there games where you're dominating when it's like, I can do whatever I want? I was actually looking back because I think it was against Georgia Tech in college.
You had 11 tackles, 6 tackles for a loss. Were you, during that game, like this is the easiest thing ever? They cut block every time.
So it's pretty much, they cut you just walking around them and you're in the backfield. But those games, you be in mode, you feel good, and you got that confidence, and I swear you feel like, you know, you can't be stopped.
Right. They say that definitely when a guy trying to block you one-on-one, you feel kind of confident.
Can anyone beat you one-on-one? I'm never going to say somebody can beat me one-on-one. Okay.
What about you, DK? No. One-on-one, no safety help.
No one can stop you? No. Not even Jalen Ramsey? No.
Ooh. Ooh.
Really? All right. Get the rivalry going.
Yeah, FaceTime will do it. A Kim Tlaib? No.
No? No one? Not even you. What about the honey badger? No.
He's a safety. Yeah, but, I mean, he's quick.
That has nothing to do with it. He's good in coverage.
Yeah. That has do with it.
Whose coach is better looking? That's actually Pete Carroll's like, Pete Carroll versus Sean McVay. I think it's closer than people think.
Yeah, my coach will give you a coach to run for his money any day. Yeah.
Sean McVay, some people say that maybe he's a little bit of a pretty boy sometimes. And that's what we say, actually.
The beard is too sculpted. You know what I'm talking about.
He lines the beard up up i sound jealous right now no actually it bothers him he's told us i've told him that to his face before and he knows he knows what he said he's like why you guys got to go after my beard all the time he's sensitive about it pretty yeah see i like him he's handsome yeah no he is he's very handsome but i kind of like the you know the old school pete carroll he looks like he's sitting there doing a Fidelity commercial with the gray hair. Oh, he's got the gum going.
Oh. What kind of bubble gum does he chew? The regular yellow and blue pat.
I don't know. Juicy fruit? Double bubble.
No. Double bubble.
Individually wrapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you met Pete Carroll's twin? No. He ain't got no twin.
Yeah, he does. He ain't got no twin? I like how Aaron even knows that he doesn't have a twin.
No, he has a twin. No, he ain't got no twin.
Yeah, no, he has a twin. He ain't got a twin.
I'm pretty sure he has a twin. He ain't got a twin.
He has a brother that looks exactly like him. Have you met him? That's why they're brothers.
Yeah, I know, but like so much so, you're like, are they twins? I got a brother just like me too. Are you a twin? He's three years older than me.
People think he's a twin. Is he in the NFL? Mm-mm.
That kind of sucks for him. I always wonder that.
Like, if your brother's in the NFL and, like, a future Hall of Famer, and you're just like, yeah, so it didn't really work out the same for me. Are you going to get some pizza? I think we're making friends.
No, you want another slice. I think we're making friends here.
I think we're making friends here. I think we're making friends here.
I think we're making friends here. I think we're making friends here.
I think we're making friends here. I think we're making friends here.
I think we're making friends camera, though. Yeah, yeah.
I talked earlier about how you trained with fake knives in the offseason. Actually, I thought initially I gave you a lot of credit for that, and then I found out that the knives were fake.
Anybody thought they was real. I thought that was a beta move to train with fake knives.
Like, why aren't you training with a real knife, like an alpha? Because if I get stabbed, I ain't going to be here right now and doing this interview with Pizza Hut. Then don't get stabbed.
It's pretty simple. Things happen.
Your hands are fast enough. Yeah, but I ain't going to take that risk.
Did you get fake stabbed ever? Yeah. I actually got stabbed in my head and everybody thought the knives were real.
Okay, so now I agree with you. It's probably a smart move.
That was very smart. Sometimes you might...
Right. Did that actually help you with your hands? Yes, Lord.
He used the nabs because it's just a natural reaction. When you see something coming your way, just the natural, you're going to move a little faster, obviously.
So I'm just doing something different outside of the box. So, you know, it worked for me.
Yeah. Did Wade Phillips ever teach you how to sack somebody and not land on them with your body? Because that feels like it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do, to hit a quarterback and then in midair move to the side while you're falling to the ground.
It is, but it's not, you know, because obviously you can control what you do with your body, you know? So it's just a natural thing to do. You know, don't put your weight on it.
You can get flared and get fined and you don't lose no money. You don't want to hurt your team.
DK's looking at me like he's not sure. I can't see your eyes.
Yeah. You know what you're looking at.
Uh-huh. Here, look.
Give you a little peek right there at the baby blues. Oh.
You're welcome. Was it weird when Pete Carroll took his shirt off with you in the combine interview? Yeah.
Can you explain that story? How did it go down? They had a scout that was in, that was like my group leader. And he was like, when you come to our meeting, take your shirt off.
I was like, no, I can't do that, bro. And then he was like, yeah, do it, do it.
He's going to be fired up about it. So I was like, all right, I'll do it.
And I walked in with my shirt off and he took his shirt off. We're two shirtless men.
Just hanging out. Yeah, first.
It was a lot of weird. That's what you do, right? You want to take your shirt off right now? I'll take my shirt off.
You don't want to see this? Too much man. I'll get started with it.
There we go. You always got to have one guy that starts the party.
My nipples, by the way, are very large. Don't look.
You looked right

at my chest there,

DK. I've got four

nipples. All right, so go ahead.
Take your shirts off.

There you go. Well, y'all are 35.

Chill out. Put your shirt on.

All right. You know what?

That's actually a good point, the way you said that.

I am 35 today. Aaron, it's my birthday.

Did you want to say anything about that? It's your birthday? Yeah. It was mine yesterday.
Happy birthday, man. I brought you some pizza.
Oh, thanks, Aaron. That's awesome.
Okay, so wait. You order no sauce every single time? Every single time.
Is that a dietary thing? Just something that I like. I'm not just a, you know, that's just what I like, you know? That's just what I like and the way I like my pizza.
That's a weird move, man. That's a weird move.
But I like that. So wait, can Pizza Hut, can you call up and be like, can I have the Aaron Donald? Yeah.
I don't know if that's true. You can? Yeah.
You gotta get that done. Yeah.
We're gonna name this the Aaron Donald. How much of the deal now do we get for having that idea? Because clearly someone didn't think of that.
We'll talk about it. Whatever you want.
We'll take 10%. 10%.
10 pizzas. 10 pizzas? Yeah.
10 pizzas. We 10 pizzas.
10 pizzas we'll take. I got you.
Sunday. So y'all going to be set for Sunday.
Yeah. Yep.
DK, how motivated are you when somebody tweets at you and says, like, hey, I have you on my fancy team, and you ruined my week last week? That's got to be really motivating, right? It's got to be like, okay, I got to go out and win this game for John 3, 7, 4, 5 with the egg appetite. Right, right.
I mean, I don't care who's fantasy team I'm on. Yeah.
Okay. So it really doesn't matter to me.
But we pay your salary as fans. I'm sorry, what? Fans, we pay your salary.
Negative. Yeah, yeah.
Like if you guys were playing in the middle of a parking lot and no one was watching, you wouldn't have a salary. So it's kind of our league.

It's our league.

I am an owner of the Green Bay Packers.

I mean, I believe that.

You pay 50 bucks and they give you a stock certificate and a cheese hat.

So, yeah, I'm kind of your boss in a way.

Yeah.

So what y'all going to do about next season?

We're going to lose again. Yeah.
Aaron Rodgers over the hill. Do you have any y'all gonna do about next season? We're gonna lose again.

Yeah.

Aaron Rodgers over the hill.

Do you have any comment

about that?

Aaron Rodgers what?

He's over the hill.

He's not good anymore.

No, Aaron Rodgers is good.

Oh, you guys got screwed

on that spot.

No comment.

Yeah.

All right, my last question,

Seek Geek question.

We'll just do all the ads together.

So we're here with Pizza Hut

and Esquick

and Seek Geek promo code TAKE. You put it in

and get $10 off. What's in those bags,

DK? Happy birthday.

Oh, really? Can we have it?

I gotta see which one.

Alright.

Big me out.

Big me out.

I'm guessing it might be Nesquick.

Okay, sweet.

Thank you. Oh my god, how did you know that I wanted a bottle be Nesquik.
Okay, sweet. Thank you.

Oh, my God.

How did you know that I wanted a bottle of Nesquik?

Oh, there's more in there.

All right, Aaron, did you get us anything for our birthday?

More pizza.

More pizza.

All right.

Extra no sauce.

I already had three slices.

Okay.

Hang on, hang on.

I got to open my face.

You don't usually get a birthday card that says congrats. You made it to 35, man.
Congrats. Congrats for being alive.
Yeah. We didn't die yet.
Happy birthday, big cat from the muscle man, DK. And there's $500 cash in there.
Did you get cash? I got, it says happy birthday, PFT. Your ass is getting old.
DK, Mr. Strawberry Milk.

Is that what they call you?

Huh?

This is Mr. Strawberry Milk.

We got to work on your nickname.

Yes.

We need to work on your nickname.

I'm Mr. 35 Yards.

I don't know.

You probably heard about my trial with the XFL, but I'm pretty solid from 35 yards in.

For my birthday, I got you guys a football.

Just to make you guys feel comfortable.

Can't take it with you.

All right.

Well, Aaron, DK, thank you so much.

Appreciate your time.

And go buy some Nesquik and go buy some Pizza Hut.

That's it.

You guys want to clap?

Thank you.

That was great. Thank you, guys.
This is actually not bad with no sauce. I was skeptical.
That interview, or whatever you want to call it, with DK Metcalf and Aaron Donald was... Hockey is on.
And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots regular season or playoffs win or lose no matter what happens no matter where it happens new amsterdam vodka is there okay let's wrap up with some segments liam bubba you ready to go yep you got bachelor talk and then guys on chicks bachelor talk it was the hometowns episode oh pete tells hannah ann's dad that he wants to tell hannah and that he's falling in love with her Hannah Ann's dad Rick tells him not to because he needs to mean it

and he's falling in love with her hannah and's dad rick tells him not to because he needs to mean it and he's still dating other women pete tells hannah and that he's falling in love with her anyways damn you really put a lot of enthusiasm into that liam i can't believe that pete would go against what hannah and his dad told him what to do about talking to Hannah Ann.

It said Hannah Ann like eight times in three sentences.

I think Hannah Ann's dad just watches The Bachelor and he's like,

this guy Pete's a loser.

Please don't tell my daughter that you love her.

Yeah.

Wasn't Bruce Pearl in it somewhere?

I don't know.

Everyone tweeted like, oh my God, there's Bruce Pearl.

All right. Pete goes on his hometown date with Kelsey to Des Moines, Iowa.
Gloss over that, yeah. Where Pete tries to grab crab rangoons for the first time in his life.
Turns out he likes them. Wait, in Des Moines, Iowa? Yeah.
He got crab rangoons for the first time in his life in Des Moines, Iowa. It's a specialty.
What is it, by the way? Hold on. No, here's the thing.
Des Moines, Iowa probably has decent crab rangoons because crab rangoons are never made with fresh crab to begin with. Des Moines, Iowa is probably, like, when you think of Seattle, Washington, as being the king crab center of the king salmon Sockeye Salmon Center of the entire food world.
Des Moines, Iowa is the center of processed synthetic crab. What is it with The Bachelor? I feel like half of The Bachelor slash Bachelorettes are always from Iowa or Nebraska.
What is that? It's the heartland. I mean, it just seems...
seems that for a reason it's it's the number one product they threw out there besides soybeans is bachelor and bachelor what tight ends and tight ends that's true shout out greg uh all right what else do you want to get to the bruce pearl part or there's no bruce pearl note on here i think really made up that bruce pearl i don't know that Bruce Pearl was on the back. You just had like a crossover on your timeline.
Dude, so many people were tweeting about Bruce Pearl and I've always got Bruce Pearl alerts on because I want to know how sweaty he is and everyone just said he was on so I assumed he was sweaty. Okay.
Last note, Pete X approaches him while on his hometown date in Virginia Beach with Victoria F. and warns Peter about her.
The rumors are that Victoria F. is a homewrecker who has broken up multiple relationships.
Oh. Wow, so she fucks.
Vicky. Oh, no.
Vicky. That's Victoria F.
I don't get why people don't have nicknames on this. Like, it's always name last initial well except hannah and we can give them nicknames yeah and and but she sounds like the cabbage patch doll um vicky vicky's just she said the name vicky just screams trouble to me yeah i've never met a vicky in real life that i've been like that's a girl that you can settle settle down with.
Vickys have sass. That's just a fact.
You see a Vicky, they will sass you to death. Vicky's got big hair, bold colored fingernails, wears too much jewelry and perfume, but she also knows how to party, which is why you want to hang out with Vicky, but you don't want to stick around, if you know what I'm saying.
Yeah. All right.
Let's finish up with guys on chicks. Sup, boys.
My boyfriend and I are seniors in college, and over the past three years, he has lived with four of his best guy friends. After having to use napkins as toilet paper and flush them down the toilet so it doesn't clog, I've realized that over the years, him and his friends do things that normal people wouldn't do and they don't think twice about is there hope that he will want to live in normal living conditions after college or will he never grow out of his college habits love you guys okay yes yes there's tons of hope because everyone gets out of college and stops living like their worst possible existence.
Because you realize when you're like 19 and 20, living in absolute squalor and wiping your ass with napkins and like coffee liners and weird shit and eating terrible things and sharing your shitty house and apartment with six of your dudes sucks when you're like 25. So don't worry.
You just got to wait it out. Just wait it out.
Yeah. I think they say that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his mouth sometimes.
If you can learn to cook his favorite food or whatever, as an old school saying, I think that's way out of date. The fastest way is his butthole.
If you can slowly convince him and show him that there are better things to do than wipe your butt with ketchup packets, eventually he'll get addicted to that actual real life sensation of using toilet paper with aloe on it. And then after a couple of years of being acclimated to that, once he runs out of toilet paper, he's not going to go to that drawer where you keep the salt and pepper leftover from Chinese food orders.
He's going to go to the store and actually buy the product as it was intended for and stock up on toilet paper. So you'll gradually turn him into a real man by just showing him there's a better way.
Also, uh, there's like a one in five chance that everything we just said is not going to happen because everyone has that one friend that just doesn't actually stop living the college life until they're like 40. So just hope it's not him.
That's statistics, by the way. That's actually statistically true.
One in five guys cannot leave college when they leave college. So pray that that is not what your boyfriend is afflicted with

and that you guys will age gracefully.

Hey, Mr. Commenter and Husky Cat.

All my boyfriend wants to do is have sex since football is over.

The XFL isn't cutting it for him.

What are some alternatives to sex?

There's butt stuff call of duty uh just keeping him too drunk to fuck all the time yeah uh putting him in a medically induced coma just not having sex yeah that's always telling him that you're always on your period yeah yeah buy him call of duty and then just get on your period perpetually that's good advice yeah hey hunk cat my boyfriend is a chronic manscaper i've walked in on him more than once in the last year, squatting over a mirror, trimming his taint with scissors. Should I be proud knowing he takes care of himself or mortified that he's a psychopath? Thanks.
I think this is one of those situations where everyone should take care of themselves down there. but there's a very, very thin line between manscaping and just like making yourself a male porn star and you don't want to be the male porn star where you're like completely bald down there and everything is you just don't want to be a male porn star because i feel like that's he's teetering line.
And next thing you know, you're just dating Johnny Sin or whatever his name is. Yeah.
Going full bald is not boyfriend material right there. It's just a weird scene.
I think just tell him that you like the way that it looks in a certain way. And then if a guy hears that one time, then that's just his hairstyle for life.
Forever. Forever.
All right, that's it. Oh, we didn't even get a last one before that last one.
I can give you one more. No, no.
I've got a gift for that. No, that was cool.
Yeah, do a gift. Yeah, go ahead.
Let's end with a gift. No, no more gifts.
My gift right now is just me making the heart sign with my hands and saying, I love you guys. Oh, nice.

Nice.

The guy with his heart that actually beats out of his chest and everyone's like, holy shit, that guy's going to die.

No, it's the wolf at the table whose eyes are popping out of his head and then his heart is pounding.

That's what I'm doing right now to all you guys.

I love you guys. I love you guys.

I'll be coming of you. Shine away.
I'll be coming for your love of cake.

Shine away.

I'll be coming for your love of cake.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me. Stay up to me.
Needless to say. I'm all set in.
But I'll be some little wait. Suddenly learning that life is okay.
Stay up to me. It's not better to be safe than sorry.

Stay up to me.

It's not better to be safe than sorry. Stay up to me.

Stay up to me.

Stay up to me.

Stay up to me.

Stay up to me. I'll be coming for you.