Joakim Noah, NBA All Star Weekend, And The Astros Story Is Never Going Away

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Speaker 1 Experienced. On today's part of my take, we have Joachim Noah,

Speaker 1 a little all-star recap, a little Rob Manfred stepped in it in the Astros. Controversy will never go away.
Who's back of the week? XFL, hot in the streets. A huge President's Day special episode.

Speaker 1 Actually, I'm going to call it a special episode because some people have the day off. So we should get credit for working extra hard.
Yeah, I agree. Always, we should get credit for working hard.

Speaker 1 Working extra hard. So it's a special, extra episode.
It's like one of those car dealerships giving, you know, it's the lowest prices possible on President's Day.

Speaker 1 And they can't call it a sale anymore. It's always like a sales event.
Right. Can I give you a little tip here? This is a podcast event.
Yeah, it's a podcast event.

Speaker 1 We're going to have those, we've got those flailing, inflatable guys right outside the studio.

Speaker 1 A little tip on sales events during President's Day and all these like tint sales that that you see, what they actually do is they just mark up the prices, like $3,000, and then they take $1,500 off those.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yeah. I used to slang cars back in the day.
Beautiful. That's a good thing.
That's a beautiful sales event. It's a dirty little trick.
It's a beautiful sales event.

Speaker 1 And here's another beautiful event that you can get involved in.

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Speaker 1 Go!

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the song, working dumb.

Speaker 1 Looks behind a lot of washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all

Speaker 1 Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code BarSchool. You get $10 free, $10 to the ASPCA.
Also, it is Bad Beats Monday.

Speaker 1 Tweet us your Bad Beats with hashtag Bad Beats Monday at pardon my take at Cash App. We'll hook up some people who had some bad beats over the last week.
Today is Monday, February 17th.

Speaker 1 Happy President's Day. Happy President's Day, everybody.
Bye-bye, Bob. Happy holidays.

Speaker 5 It is.

Speaker 1 We're here. We're working on President's Day.
We should probably be applauded for that. Maybe a quick round of applause for us.

Speaker 1 Who's your favorite president? Just in general? Yeah. My favorite president.

Speaker 1 I like Dave. Dave Baker? No, Dave.

Speaker 1 President of the Hall of Fame? Dave from the movie Dave. Which one? He pretends to be president.
Way to date us, dude. The guy, Dave, that pretends to be the president.
That's a movie from like

Speaker 1 here was that

Speaker 1 movie. 1995.
Go watch Dave today to

Speaker 1 celebrate American presidents or watch the American President. Who's your favorite president? Hank?

Speaker 6 Probably Ben Franklin.

Speaker 1 Ben Franklin. Ben Franklin, great president.
Big time Press. Thomas Edison.
Also, Alexander Hamilton. All those guys.
They did it for the squad. Best to ever do it.
Big time squad guys. Hamilton.

Speaker 1 I liked FDR. Dude was president forever.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 he kept going. Also, wasn't he first cousins with his wife? Yeah.
Yeah, him and Albert Einstein. Smart guys.
Yeah. Smart.
It's a hot new way to, you know, just date whoever you're.

Speaker 1 It actually makes it kind of easy because think about it. No one wants to go to like Christmas, Thanksgiving, go to see your family.
You just kind of reduce that by one.

Speaker 1 One less house you have to visit. Well, it's like you'd have a cousin and a wife.
Now you just have a cousin, wife. Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 1 Also, your kids are going to have all the same strengths and weaknesses you did. Yeah.
So you don't have to learn new skills for them. Yeah.
So, President's Day.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the President's Day special of part of my take. We're calling it the President's Day special for no reason.
We're going to be doing.

Speaker 1 We've never not done a President's Day show, but we're just going to say that this is a special one. Yeah, Presidente is a type of lager, too.
It's a delicious beer.

Speaker 1 If you're into drinking, Aron's possibly

Speaker 1 to signal boost. Okay.
Yeah. No beer.

Speaker 1 Is he going to buy the Mets? I don't know. I'm very woke on that.
So there was a story that came out

Speaker 1 on Friday that it was like in the New York Post that said A-Rod is interested in buying the Mets. Now that it's not going to be

Speaker 1 a Cohen guy.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I guarantee you it's just like one of A-Rod's associates. And A-Rod was like, hey,

Speaker 1 hey, tell the New York Post that I'm interested so that people will think that I'm capable of buying the Mets. I could be the scout.
I could be a scout. I'd probably get a job in baseball ops.

Speaker 1 You've got the the fashion sense of a scout. Yeah, just show up with the Topmy Bahamas shirt and be like, hey, guys.
A straw hat.

Speaker 1 I'll go to like shitty cities. Not shitty cities, but cities that maybe are not big-time cities across America.
Minor league cities across America watch people throw fastballs.

Speaker 1 Wilkes Fair, Pennsylvania. And eat a lot of hot dogs behind the plate.
And yeah,

Speaker 1 and write things on my notepad. Doodle on my notepad.

Speaker 1 I am definitely scout material. Wear a safari-style helmet.
Yeah. And maybe, yeah, you've got got the glasses.
I feel like those

Speaker 1 off-yellow glasses, that's a perfect scout thing. Yeah, so, alright, so speaking of that, baseball is still in the news.

Speaker 1 The story that will never go away, because it's somehow, every single time someone steps in front of a camera or a microphone to talk about the Houston Astros, they make it significantly worse.

Speaker 1 So we had Carlos Correa get in front of

Speaker 1 a video camera and basically say, Cody Bellinger needs to get some facts and come back and see me, the Jim Calhoun. And then Rob Mansell.
He said that's his job.

Speaker 1 Cody Bellinger's job is to go collect facts. So the Astros are now getting a little testy.
They're starting to get a little upset that everyone else is throwing this around at them.

Speaker 1 I think they're also at the point. They're pre-mad.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I think they're at the point where they're like, we know other teams cheated too, so keep pushing it and we're going to start airing out some shit. Start naming names?

Speaker 1 I think, well, they're definitely getting pre-mad because Dusty Baker was saying that MLB needs to step in and do something about the fact that other teams are going to throw at the Houston Astros.

Speaker 1 Right. He's like, I got to protect my guys, but no one's thrown at him yet.
Right. It's just he's pre-mad.
He's putting it out there.

Speaker 1 Dusty, it's a weird position that he's in because he didn't have anything to do with it, but he's going to have to deal with all the reprots. Oh, just yes.

Speaker 1 And I can't think of a better manager, like a more quotable manager to be dealing with this. That's going to be great.

Speaker 1 And then Rob Manfred, the commissioner, made it even worse, like really, really worse, by getting in front of reporters and saying the idea of an Asterix or asking for a piece of metal back, talking about the World Series trophy, seems like a futile act.

Speaker 1 People will always know that something was different about the 2017 season. And whether we made that decision right or wrong, we undertook a thorough investigation and had the intestinal fortitude.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Wait, have the guts, Rob? Do you have it?

Speaker 1 Intestinal fortitude to share the results of that investigation. Wow.
Good job. He had the balls to show the investigation.
And then he had the balls to release a report.

Speaker 1 And then he said, so he called the World Series trophy a piece of metal. Which is not a metal.
It's actually like 17 pieces of metal. The most dangerous.

Speaker 1 Strung together by other tiny pieces of metal wiring. The worst trophy, most dangerous trophy in all sports.
And then he also said,

Speaker 1 when asked about the notion that anyone in the Astros organization has avoided punishment, he said that they have been hurt by this and will be faced with questions of what happened in in 2017 and 18 for the rest of their lives.

Speaker 1 That's true. So, their punishment is actually

Speaker 1 yet to really manifest itself.

Speaker 1 He also essentially deputized and drafted every single journalist and person on Twitter into the punishment war against the Houston Astros by saying, like, the fans that will not let you forget this, that's going to be your punishment.

Speaker 1 So, in order to keep up our in the bargain, we have to become relentless cyber bullies. It's crazy.
And control the shit out of the Astros for the next 10 years.

Speaker 1 Until every single member of that 2017 team is off the roster, we must not let them forget. It's insane.

Speaker 1 The whole thing is so poorly run, poorly handled, and we're at a point now where the questions, hard questions, are the real punishment of a World Series.

Speaker 1 I actually went into this whole thing being like,

Speaker 1 I don't really care, but the worse,

Speaker 1 the more they talk, the more angry I get at how stupid they are and how they're basically making it seem like nothing really happened, even though it's very clear it was blatant cheating and really bad cheating.

Speaker 1 The banner that they hang should just be in the shape of an asterisk. Yes.
Let them keep the banner, but just cut a few pieces out of it. And then El Tuve got dragged through this because

Speaker 1 there was a lot of chatter about his embarrassing tattoo. Unfinished tattoo.
Saying that that's why he didn't want to have his shirt ripped off. Right.

Speaker 1 It's because he was embarrassed about his tattoo that wasn't finished yet. Which

Speaker 1 I don't know if he has any tattoos, but I guess every tattoo is an unfinished tattoo like i have a ton of unfinished tattoos yeah they haven't been started yet my body is yeah they're unfinished by an unfinished tattoo the whole thing hank actually has an unfinished tattoo right yeah it's crazy like it's so fucking stupid they should tattoo an asterisk on all those every single one of them on their face yeah like in the end of inglorious bastards exactly tattoo it with a hunting knife everywhere you go brad pitt has to do it while doing a weird southern italian accent also i had a question where the hell is justin verlander he's another one who like you know, always will speak up about, you know, you know, baseball news, baseball stories, very vocal on Twitter.

Speaker 1 He's been nowhere. Well, he's not vocal because he's always choking, and he wasn't even on that 2017 team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was. Was he? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 He didn't play well in the World Series, though, right?

Speaker 1 That's what happened. Yeah, he went winless in that World Series.
Yeah, he was definitely on that team. Yeah, he was right there.

Speaker 1 I was just thinking about him never winning a World Series game, which is something that people don't discuss.

Speaker 1 But so the Astros, I don't even know. I mean, it's ridiculous that they have not punished them at all.
Like, the players need...

Speaker 1 I can't believe I'm here that I actually am passionate about this, but I think they should be punished. Yeah.
And I don't want to be. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 I love hearing the phrase death penalty get thrown around. Like, maybe just give it.
GMU. Yeah.
Give the Houston Astros the death penalty. Did you see the Little League in California? Yes.

Speaker 1 The Little League in California that's, they're banning the team Astros and all Little League. I love it.
I love it. We should, you know what? I'm not going to say the word Astros.
Okay.

Speaker 1 It's got generic profanity inside the name already, but it's no longer allowed on my page. Yeah.
I mean, it's, this story will not die.

Speaker 1 You know what Al Tuve should do? He should say, like, no, it wasn't a tattoo. I was just embarrassed because I had a ton of Bacne from all the steroids I was taking.
Right. Reframe the content.

Speaker 1 It's a different type of cheating.

Speaker 1 I was cheating by ingesting substances. The cheating that's allowed.
Yeah. Now, if you get a buzzer implanted in your skin, is that cheating? No, because he's part of your body.

Speaker 1 If you get a buzzer tattoo yeah that's part of your body that's what he should have done you also see the guy who uh uh buffalo wild wings great sponsor of ours we love it they had a nice roasting of the astros which they're supposed to do because rob manford told us that's what we're supposed to do uh some guy responded and cut up his gift card that he got for christmas That'll show him.

Speaker 1 That'll show him. The money's already been spent.
Yeah. And now Buffalo Wild Wings doesn't have to give you food for it.
Uh-huh. More for me.

Speaker 1 He also probably, knowing that guy, he definitely wrote down the number and is going to still go get it because you can't resist Buffalo Wildlings.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was just like, was it just a printout of paper that he cut up? No, it was a hard card.

Speaker 1 That was his big gift. It should have definitely got like a $200 gift card.
It should be illegal to do that.

Speaker 1 It should be protected in the same sense that we protect money

Speaker 1 and the American flag. You should not be allowed to desecrate a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card.
I take personal offense to that. Yeah, so that's what's going on with the Astros.

Speaker 1 It's like it really will not die. And someone will say something else, and they'll start getting hit a bunch.
And they deserve to get hit a bunch. And I don't know.

Speaker 1 If they had just suspended some of these players for 50 games or something, whatever it may be, it probably would have somewhat gone away.

Speaker 1 They didn't do anything correctly, and it's just going to keep lingering. You know what I would do if I was the Astros? I would sign like a professional MMA fighter.
to my team.

Speaker 1 And just crush them out. Yeah, just be like, hey, if you hit our guys, John Bones-Jones is going to come out there and beat the shit out of you.
They should get some goons.

Speaker 1 They should get some absolute goons. They should get some goons.
Get this nasty. Get Bartolo back.

Speaker 1 Put him in the bullpen. He'll just come out and just start jumping on people.
Sign Tebow. Yo Kazuna.
Or just have like a designated hitter, but like hitter as in somebody

Speaker 1 to get hit.

Speaker 1 I'm saying somebody that would just be there to get hit

Speaker 1 and just run at people. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty good at that. So

Speaker 1 you can watch barstowgold.com slash PMT. The other story, we had All-Star Weekend in Chicago.
I was back in Chicago. It was a good time.

Speaker 1 The dunk contest was actually more fun than I thought it would be live. So I went.
I enjoyed it, but there was controversy because Dwayne Wade,

Speaker 1 I think what it comes down to is Dwayne Wade knows that classic Heat versus Magic,

Speaker 1 this state's only big enough for one of us.

Speaker 1 That took over, and that's why he had Aaron Gordon not win. The rivalry is back on.
Yeah, it truly is one of the fiercest rivalries in all sports. The Heat versus Magic.

Speaker 1 Now, is that the the only rivalry in the NBA involving two teams whose names don't end in an S? Ooh.

Speaker 1 Jazz? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who do the jazz rivals with? The Jazz don't have.

Speaker 1 The Jazz and

Speaker 1 fans that have just general decency. That doesn't have anything.
That's true. Yeah, jazz and profanity.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 jazz and being normal human beings. Keywords.
Yeah, that's a big rivalry. Yeah, the heat

Speaker 1 and the magic. Yeah, so Dwayne Wade, you could see him doing the math in his head,

Speaker 1 trying to figure out how to fuck him over. And by the way, he just wanted to go to this party.
I'd like to say that Dwayne Wade was looking very fresh. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He looked like one of those XFL cartoons. Yes.
But if they tried to draw Marvin Gaye.

Speaker 1 Everyone was looking great.

Speaker 1 It's a sight to behold, like the whole all-star festivities and stuff. I went to Michael Jordan.
party, which when I say that, it seems cool, but it was a warehouse.

Speaker 6 This is loaded at Michael Wilbond.

Speaker 1 And And

Speaker 1 I saw MJ walk by, and then he disappeared. Michael? You saw him walk by? Yeah, I saw him walk by, but it was like 2,000 people were there.
So it was a big warehouse. But

Speaker 1 it was fun watching people try to get into his VIP area and just get kicked out. Because no one's allowed to go near him.
So that was a good time. But yeah, ooh, look.

Speaker 1 John Stewart's court side. It was a big come up for the Chicago flag this weekend.
Very underrated flag. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I love the Chicago flag and seeing it pop up everywhere this weekend was a nice little treat.

Speaker 1 Now, how about jumping over Taco? Awesome. That was pretty great.
That's why, I mean, Aaron Gordon not winning from that.

Speaker 1 I really do think someone should have pandered and done the jump man from the free throw line. I feel like that would have won no matter what.

Speaker 1 But maybe nobody can do it.

Speaker 1 Which is crazy to me. Because I was watching Derrick Johnson when he was doing some of these dunks.
I was thinking, what if someone did this in 1992? People would lose their mind. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because they make it so effortless. And it's so insane.
They'd lose their mind because Taco Fall would be like one year old. Well, yeah.
And

Speaker 1 he wouldn't be that tall. So he just widely

Speaker 1 on there. Damned on this baby.

Speaker 1 He should have won for that.

Speaker 1 The only reply to that is you got to dunk an actual taco into Guy Fieri's mouth. Yes.
He was courtside too for that. Oh, yeah.
Guy Fieri's. He's huge.

Speaker 1 So I saw Guy Fieri at this party on Friday. I'm pretty sure he has a Warriors ring.

Speaker 1 And I'm pretty sure he's wearing it. Yeah.
It doesn't screw it. I don't know how it happened, but it looked like he was wearing an NBA championship ring.

Speaker 1 I mean, and really, like, not one of the fake ones that fans get. I'm talking a real ring.
I think you have to give Guy Fieri credit for your championship. No, every team that we have.

Speaker 1 That one gift where he popped up. Yeah.
Every team, no matter what city you're in, should recognize the greatness of Giorgio Friedrich.

Speaker 1 That's such a hilarious flex to have nothing to do with the organization and be rocking a championship ring.

Speaker 1 Jared Krabas. Yeah, Jared Krabis.
Well, The Rocket had a lot to do with that, right?

Speaker 6 I would say as much as Guy.

Speaker 1 As much as Guy. So we're watching the game right now.
It's in the third quarter, and the scoring really is

Speaker 1 so stupid how they did this.

Speaker 1 Every quarter's a new game, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it is for charity, so you can't. They did the same thing.
You can't say anything bad. It's like the decision with LeBron.
Can't say anything bad. It's for charity.
And yes,

Speaker 1 it was a good weekend. We had a big event, an NBA Jam tournament, Joe's on Weed.
So thank you, everyone, who came out. It was a fucking awesome time.

Speaker 1 I forgot how much fun that game is. Like, I could play it for

Speaker 1 ever. I'd like to take my hat off to the officials in this game.
They called it travel in the All-Star game. Really? I thought that was against the rules

Speaker 1 to actually play by the rules. Yes.
In this game. Especially in this game.

Speaker 1 I love being the person on Twitter that's talking trash about how frustrating it is that they don't play defense in the All-Star game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How dare they? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You know what? You know what? I prefer. I like a nice little Dayton Xavier college basketball game where the kids actually care.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also. Way more entertaining.
I don't know how it happened, but Fire Guard Packs got trending, so it seems like people, good weekend, good showing by everyone. Did you see that clip, though, on

Speaker 1 Friday?

Speaker 1 I think it was Get Up, and everyone started chanting it, and then Molly Kiram quieted everyone down, and they, I don't know why they listened, but the TV person was like, don't say got Fire Guard Packs.

Speaker 1 It's Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 Don't insult me by asking me if I saw Get Up. Of course I saw Get Up.
Also Friday.

Speaker 1 Or it wasn't Get Up, whatever the other day. First take.
First take. Yeah, there's a huge lead in audience.
Stephen A.

Speaker 1 Smith was fucking wet with his jumper he also did a an event i don't know where it was i heard the rumor i don't know if it actually happened where you could go to a bar and debate him

Speaker 1 as a fuck a fan god damn it yeah how come we were not informed i heard about it i would have heard it happened i would have taken the first flight it would have been incredible matter the cost it would have been incredible what would you debate steve a smith i would i would go i would go dez caught it i would go um

Speaker 1 he would get mad about that ass versus titties yeah yeah

Speaker 1 hey big a big set of titties walks in. You tell him you're not looking, Steven, you're looking, Steven.
Yeah, come on, man, but yeah, he's so, god damn it, he's so funny, he's so funny.

Speaker 1 Uh, wait, so he was he was coaching the celebrity team, right? Yes, and he did the fake, like, he looked like Wendy Williams doing the faint out there.

Speaker 1 But for a second, I thought since he works 25 hours a day, he might actually just be feigning of exhaustion. Yes, you know what? They really fucked up.

Speaker 1 They really fucked this up because how amazing would it have been to have Stephen A. Smith coach one team and Skip Bayless coach the other?

Speaker 1 It would have been great. Skip's team would have been trash.
Skip would have... No, he can't lose in his Jordans every single day.
That's true.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our who's back of the week.

Speaker 1 Hank, why don't you start?

Speaker 6 My who's back of the week is the Mason Rudolph Miles Garrett beef.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 So Miles Garrett did an interview with Mina Kimes

Speaker 6 last week or the other day or whatever, and he again alleged that Mason Rudolph said a racial slur prior to the brawl, which is like what got him to go crazy.

Speaker 1 Redskin?

Speaker 6 Mason Rudolph replied and said it's a thousand percent false. It's a bull-flaced lie.
I did not have not and would not utter a racial slur.

Speaker 6 This is a disgusting and reckless attempt to assassinate my character. So, much like the Astro story, this is like the football story that's just never going to go.

Speaker 1 Listen, I'm not going to be able to do it. Which is crazy because the NFL should just, they have to have

Speaker 1 audio. They know.
They've got audio. I'm not going to believe that somebody isn't a racist until they use the phrase like, I don't care if you're black, white, purple, yellow, orange, red.

Speaker 1 Until they start naming all the different colors. Right.

Speaker 1 How can I even trust him that he's not racist? Yeah. If he hasn't even, that's the bare minimum that people say.
Yeah, he is.

Speaker 1 Once you use the word purple and in defense of you not being racist, at that point I'm like, you win. Racism over.
So my question is, does he sue?

Speaker 1 If he's that confident, he should. Well, but he also, Mason Rudolph.
So let's say he didn't say

Speaker 1 Mason Rudolph would sue being like, this is slander or whatever libel. I can't remember which one it is.
Slibel. Slibel.

Speaker 1 Would he sue, but the problem is he's still trying to be an NFL quarterback, even though we all know he isn't. Right.
So I feel like he might sue after he's out of the league.

Speaker 1 Well, there are a couple things at play here.

Speaker 1 One, there's the punchable bitch face defense, where you just show a jury a glossy 8x10 of Mason Rudolph, and they're like, yeah, you know, I'm going to go with Miles on this one. The second is

Speaker 1 the NFL PA has basically a built-in don't be a loser clause in their contract, which is you're not allowed to sue a player for something that happens on the field. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, that's

Speaker 1 it. It's just like don't be a dork.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 Don't be a narc. Just try to be cool, dude.
Yeah, be cool, Mason. Just fucking chill out.
So, yeah, that story's never going to go away. And there's really, it kind of sucks.

Speaker 1 Well, it is because Mason Rudolph is going to be out of the NFL soon. That's true.
Because he stinks. So if you're Mason Rudolph and you didn't say that, there's...

Speaker 1 It kind of really sucks for you right now. Right.
Because you can't prove that you didn't say it unless the audio is out there. But the fact that...
But I feel like there should be audio.

Speaker 1 There should be. I'm very woke on that.
I think that the NFL might have deleted something. Okay.

Speaker 1 Stay very woke on that. So you think he did say it then? No, I have no idea.
I think that the NFL. But they wouldn't delete it if he didn't say anything.
I just, listen, I'm

Speaker 1 going to all over the place in my conspiracy theories. But

Speaker 1 I think the NFL had audio. Because you'll remember...
They have audio that they play like every Tuesday on Showtime on Inside the NFL. Right, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 And their excuse was was they have a guy who pushes a button to stop recording in between plays. Right.
And that guy doesn't exist. Right.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank, is that your only who's back?

Speaker 1 Who's back? Yeah. Yes.
Okay. PFD, who's your who's back? My who's back is Tim Tebow.

Speaker 1 It's Tebow time, baby. Tim Tebow reported to training camp.
He is back in a big way. He addressed the media.

Speaker 1 He's not going away. He's not letting the baseball dream die just yet.
The Mets need to call him up if the Astros don't bring him up earlier earlier to get hit by pitches.

Speaker 1 I'm very, very excited about Teebo getting into a Major League Baseball game this year. Yeah, that's not going to happen.

Speaker 1 He said, oh, he said there was an article that was written about it. It's going to be a seminal moment when he...

Speaker 6 I feel like he first started to try to be a pro player right when this podcast started, and he's not even close. No.

Speaker 1 No closer

Speaker 1 than he was the first day. He's a better baseball player than Michael Jordan.
That's all I know about this.

Speaker 1 But he still is not going to make Major League Baseball, and I'm sick of him taking up our space. Taking up a roster spot? No, taking up our job.
He's taking our brain space. Oh, I'm not.

Speaker 1 He'll be on SEC Network. I'm never sick of Tim Thibault taking up my brain space.
So there was an article written about him today. This is a take-quake right here.

Speaker 1 They called him the most famous baseball player in the world.

Speaker 1 Agree or disagree? Discuss. I disagree, yeah.
I disagree. You don't think so? No, he's not.
No. Mike Trout.

Speaker 1 Who would get recognized by Colin Coward in a mall faster? Mike Trout or Tim Tebow? Bryce Harper probably is more famous.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, dead or alive, or retired, or I mean, Derek Cheeter, Alex Rodriguez.

Speaker 1 Like, there's a lot of baseball players. You're making some compelling arguments here.
Yeah. I just like

Speaker 1 every now and again, an NFL writer likes to just flex their muscles by being like, like, you're doing that. Sport that's not, play that's not in our sport would be, it's doing what we do to handball.

Speaker 1 Right. Except to

Speaker 1 professional baseball. But he's just been playing baseball for four years now and just sucks.
Correct. My other who's back of the week is U.S.
soccer. So U.S.
soccer's back.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw this, but last week,

Speaker 1 Claudio Reyna's son scored a goal for Dortmund. So he's going to be like a superstar over in Germany.
Basically, all our best players in the United States play over in Germany for a period of time.

Speaker 1 It's like a reverse operation paperclip thing where we send them all our stars. They get big over there, get a passport, and then they eventually play for Germany later.
And they come back.

Speaker 1 By the way, we're going to talk about the XFL in segments, but we should do that for the XFL where it's our, like soccer, like Tom Brady retires and he goes and plays the XFL when he's like 45.

Speaker 1 Retirement tour. Yeah, like Beckham comes and plays for the galaxy or wherever he played for.

Speaker 1 That would be cool. I like that.

Speaker 1 Okay, My Who's back. I got two.
Tim Crochet is back. I don't know if you guys saw this.
He's online. He made his first tweet since September.

Speaker 1 I don't know why it was to me, and it was replying to the XFL Cup snake. And he wrote, I in Loopy Oil.
That's like a Bubba tweet right there. That's a Friday night, 1 a.m.
What the fuck? How did

Speaker 1 he and then he issued an apology where he said sorry like four times saying I don't know how to use Twitter, but what how is that his first tweet since September? Timmy Kay probably

Speaker 1 yeah, I love him too. He probably uses a flip phone.
Actually, Tim Kirchen probably is the only person who still uses the ESPN phone from like 2002. Right.

Speaker 1 And so his T9 thumbs are all messed up on it. I in Loopy Oil.

Speaker 1 I in Loopy Oil. Okay, so let's break that down.
I think he wants me to oil them up. I think he wants you to rub him down a little bit.
Yeah. What's O-Oil? Oregano oil? Essentially, some sort of

Speaker 1 temperature

Speaker 1 selling. No, it's olive oil, yeah.

Speaker 1 He would say E-V-O-O.

Speaker 1 He's been drinking too much olive oil. I in loopy.

Speaker 1 I am loopy

Speaker 1 because of olive oil. Because I drank olive oil.
Yeah. He's drunk off olive oil.
I had a drunk thought on Friday about olive oil, actually. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The character, the cartoon character. Olive oil, Popeye's love interest.
Yep. Is she the ugliest love interest in the history of cartoons? There's nothing that gets me going about olive oil at all.

Speaker 1 We're really dating ourselves. She's got like reverse.
I don't think who else would be

Speaker 1 running for this. Who would be in the running? I don't know.
Just basically olive oil. Yeah, I can't think of anyone else off the top of my head.
Okay,

Speaker 1 grossest female lead in a cartoon. No, what about Ghost of Olive Oil? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I was thinking, like, what about... Bruno would break that in half.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't say I remember a lot of Popeye. Yeah, imagine taking a back shot from olive oil.
It stinks like shit.

Speaker 1 Just Popeyes and

Speaker 1 just spinach farts.

Speaker 1 All right, my other who's back

Speaker 1 is Badgers. Not the Badgers I root for, but Badgers the Animal, because

Speaker 1 there was a report that President Trump is obsessed with Badgers. So the headline, it'll be a reread a headline.
It said, Are they mean? Donald Trump obsessed with Badger's new book claims.

Speaker 1 Daily Beast reporters say

Speaker 1 Reince, what is it, Reince Priebus? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Reince Priebus was repeatedly asked about the rotund, hairy omnivores during briefings on healthcare and foreign policy. Yeah.
So we're fucking back.

Speaker 1 So Reince Priebus, who, by the way, his name sounds like somebody that Brooks Kepka would absolutely hate. Yes.

Speaker 1 He is from Wisconsin. Okay.

Speaker 1 So Trump, when he learns something about you, he'll associate that with you, and then he just zeroed in on Badgers.

Speaker 1 Which, I mean, if you're talking about Wisconsin, that's probably the coolest thing you can do. Yeah, but that's just so funny to be like, what's up with Badgers?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he is a big fan of wildlife. You'll remember he was obsessed with the Gorilla Channel for a while.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So Badgers are a pretty cool channel. Badgers have made it to the White House.
Yeah. There it is.
That's fucking huge.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 You think he's going to corner Tyrann Matthew when he gets there for the Chiefs visit? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 yes. Tell me about honey badge.
Yeah, give it to me. Give it to me.
Give it to me. Um, all right.
Let's get to Joe Kim Noah. Before we do.
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Speaker 1 And now,

Speaker 1 Noah.

Speaker 1 Joachim.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on a very special guest, one of my favorite basketball players of all time. It's Jokeim Noah, heart and soul of Chicago Bulls.

Speaker 5 Thanks, bro.

Speaker 1 Legend. He's also got, I don't know what you brought, but we're going to put it in our drink.
This is a coconut solution. What is it? Explain that.

Speaker 5 Layered superfood. You know, you come back hungover from the streets.
You know, put a a little coconut hydrate in your drink.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 And I'm telling you, it works.

Speaker 1 Where can you buy this?

Speaker 5 You can find it. You find it online.
Layered superfood.

Speaker 1 You find it. You do what you got to do.
You find it.

Speaker 5 You find it. Layered superfood.

Speaker 5 So we got that, and then we got a creamer.

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. For coffee?

Speaker 5 A superfood creamer. With all the best mushrooms,

Speaker 5 performance mushrooms.

Speaker 5 We're not playing around layered superfoods. Go check it out.

Speaker 1 Can I snort this to get hydrated? No, no, no. No? Okay.

Speaker 1 So here's the thing: is Big Cat and I were on day number five of our hangover, I think. So I want to be not hungover anymore by the end of this podcast interview.
Yeah, so that will happen. Hopefully.

Speaker 1 All right, starting now. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 5 All right, shake it up. Shake it up.

Speaker 1 So, Jokeem, thank you for joining us. We got to start with the most obvious question.
Are you retired?

Speaker 5 I am not retired.

Speaker 1 So let's get you on a team.

Speaker 5 I know. You got something for me?

Speaker 1 Well, what team do you want to go on?

Speaker 1 I would love to have you back on the Bulls, but I'm going to ask you some questions in this interview that will probably make it so you can't go back on the bulls listen you can ask me whatever you want okay so how for how long was tom uh thibodeau's office bugged by management oh shit you're going right away yeah well you just said i could ask anything we're not we're not we're not fucking around

Speaker 5 look uh shit got real tibbs is tibbs is the best man tibbs is a a warrior somebody who you know we were we were so close yeah and you know and you know the injuries kind of derail derail things a little bit, you know

Speaker 5 But you know, I look back at those years and Man, we were right there and I got nothing but love for for all those guys, you know

Speaker 5 You know if there was a bug, whatever, you know, that's not that's not what it's about you know, let's let's you know for me It's all I just look at the I just look at the good and and you know Tibbs helped us You know get there.

Speaker 5 So we were almost we were almost at the promised land. It didn't go down bug or no bug.

Speaker 1 We love you Tibbs.

Speaker 1 So so it's interesting because the Tibbs-era Bulls, there was always the idea that he might have pushed guys too hard during the regular season, so then you get to the playoffs and you don't have everything.

Speaker 1 You know, load management has become a big thing in the NBA. But you've always said he pushed you exactly how, like, without him, you wouldn't have been the player that you were.

Speaker 1 I mean, but we were, we were,

Speaker 5 I mean, you know, it's easy to look back now,

Speaker 5 you know, with the injuries and

Speaker 5 talk shit about,

Speaker 5 you know, what didn't go well. But the truth is, we were right there.

Speaker 5 We almost got the chip. If it wasn't for the injuries,

Speaker 5 I mean, in my mind.

Speaker 1 You think that year when the

Speaker 1 game one against the Sixers, round one, you think if Derrick Rose doesn't go down, that's it? I think

Speaker 1 we're holding the trophy up.

Speaker 1 You were the best team in the league that we got.

Speaker 5 We got the trophy. In my mind, in my mind, still to this day, there's no question nobody was fucking with us.

Speaker 1 That hurts me.

Speaker 1 Would you say that you're in the best shape of your life right now?

Speaker 1 If you just say that, that'll be a headline, and then people like GM see that. So just see the

Speaker 1 Scot Grammy posted the other day. I am in...
Oh, my God. I'm physical.
I'm physical. Are you physical?

Speaker 1 Would you say more physical than you've ever been?

Speaker 5 I mean, I've been physical before.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to help you, man.

Speaker 1 I am more physical and in the best shape of my life.

Speaker 5 Listen,

Speaker 5 I wasn't drinking hydrate, Layard Superfood hydrate back then, I'll tell you that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's true.
That's true. So that's a leg up over, like, you've got the technology on your side now.
Exactly. Have you given any consideration? Actually, parlay vous francais? Grab français.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll ask this and code.

Speaker 1 Je voudre vous jouet on

Speaker 1 New Zealand.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to be a bad business? Not bad. First of all,

Speaker 5 not great. Shout out to Matt Walsh.

Speaker 1 You know Matt Walsh well.

Speaker 5 Matt Walsh, you know.

Speaker 1 Florida alums.

Speaker 1 We're part owners.

Speaker 1 All that. We're part owners.
Bond bonds. In the breakers.
Bond bonds.

Speaker 1 You want us to sign you? We can sign you right now. We have the power to sign you for the breakers.

Speaker 5 We're part owners. How much?

Speaker 1 Can I call Sean Marion real quick?

Speaker 5 You got side deals?

Speaker 1 Let's see. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the side deal? We're paying you or are you paying us? Oh, shit. Well, I mean, you got a lot more money than us.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Wait. Well, he's probably not going to sign with us if he has to pay us.
All right. So we'll pay you.
We'll make money off him if he's on our team. We'll pay you

Speaker 1 whatever you want. $100 a rebound.

Speaker 1 Not good enough? Okay. All right.
We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.
We'll sign you. You can play.
I mean, anytime you want. You know that already, though.
You're friends with Matt Walsh.

Speaker 1 You can call him up and just

Speaker 1 go to New Zealand. Just dominate.

Speaker 5 We can also go on vacation.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And dominate vacation.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and dominate vacation.

Speaker 1 Do you still hate Cleveland?

Speaker 5 I mean, it's just.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, I mean, I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Greatest press conference ever. Did anyone go to Cleveland for a vacation? Yeah.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 I really don't like being in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 5 Sorry for saying I don't like being in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Have you been to the casino there? Never. Okay, that's probably why.
That would change your mind. Really?

Speaker 1 I've only been, yeah, I've only been harassed for my money and my winnings at that casino like 60% of the time that I've been there. Yeah.
So it's, yeah, they lapse in security a little bit.

Speaker 1 They also have a nice Buffalo Wild Wings downtown.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. I'm into the Buffalo Wild Wings.

Speaker 1 And they get a lake. You can't swim.
They get a lake, a river.

Speaker 1 What's your

Speaker 1 least favorite NBA city to visit? And what's your favorite?

Speaker 1 Take out Chicago and New York where you played. Okay.

Speaker 5 Least favorite, obviously, Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Yep, guaranteed.

Speaker 1 My favorite, you know, underrated, I like New Orleans.

Speaker 5 Yeah. You know, I like, you know, if there's a day off, you know, just cruise through Bourbon Street.
Like,

Speaker 1 I'm cool with that. Right.

Speaker 5 You know, some people speak French. You know, it's just, I like the vibe over there.
It's just, everybody's lit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Everyone's literally literally literally just there and everyone was lit.
We were actually just talking about you being lit in New York. Big K.
You had some quote that you saw, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you said that your time in New York

Speaker 1 didn't work because you were too lit. Quote, too lit.
Yeah. What does that mean?

Speaker 5 Okay, I'm happy we can talk about this because, you know, it's hard when somebody just takes that little quote and just runs with it.

Speaker 5 You know, I was hurt. So

Speaker 5 what else would you want me to do? I mean, you guys are not playing me ever. I'm like, can I get five minutes? I'm busting my ass over here.
No, sorry, you're not going to play ever.

Speaker 5 So, yeah, I'm in New York City. I'm getting paid.
Like, what do you want me to do? Sorry, I was lit.

Speaker 1 Your hands were tied. Like, either play me or I'm going to go get lit.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I mean, that seems like a fair thing.

Speaker 5 No, but honestly, there was a lot going on. tough.
It was a tough time. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know, there was nothing more I wanted than to, you know, be healthy and be able to produce, you know. But

Speaker 5 it's disappointing because I wanted to bring something to my hometown. It didn't work out for a lot of reasons.
But yeah, it's definitely, definitely a...

Speaker 5 I would say even though I made a lot of money there, it was definitely like it was a dark time.

Speaker 5 It was not a good time in my life for sure.

Speaker 1 Right. Did you, how many times did you go see James Dolan's band?

Speaker 5 Zero. Zero.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's why it was such a dark time. You would have gotten it.
If you were gone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just if you're front row, are you a musician? No. If you were front row, just nodding your head, like, you know,

Speaker 5 that's not my style, man. I'm not doing that.

Speaker 1 You're not going to go to this concert.

Speaker 5 No, I'm not going to this concert.

Speaker 1 Do you regret the goofy peace sign that you gave at draft night?

Speaker 5 No, that was a good time.

Speaker 1 was that was a hilarious all-time draft picture peace sign cheesing i was hype yeah you kidding me white suit what i'm in new york city

Speaker 5 get drafted by the chicago bulls i mean i was on fire the streets were lit that yes like we were not we were not playing around is that where you wanted to go yeah 100 you know i i didn't i didn't work out for a couple teams um that were ahead of the bulls because i wanted to make sure that we were going to the the Bulls.

Speaker 1 Someone just brought in. Oh, you asked.

Speaker 5 Now that's what I'm talking about. Thanks, guys.
So now,

Speaker 5 you know, okay, now we're talking about some real deep stuff.

Speaker 5 Now we're going to put some of this superfood creamer in the coffee so you guys know that not only are you putting superfoods in your coffee, you're going to see

Speaker 5 how good this

Speaker 1 I like this. I like this.

Speaker 1 What kind of superfoods are you?

Speaker 5 So a lot of functional mushrooms. huh you know about functional mushroom teas

Speaker 1 yeah the the mushrooms i've had before have not been functional well sometimes different type of functions sometimes they're enhancing yeah i would say right oh these are enhancing oh go look maybe go look at art

Speaker 1 um we should not not art not art should we put some music on after we

Speaker 1 trust me just just try it okay do you guys trust me yes i trust you okay okay trust you i trust you 100 okay absolutely i trust you with my life okay so we're gonna put a lot of this stuff in oh you're an awful lot of people.

Speaker 5 There's a lot of mushrooms. We're not micro-dosing over there.

Speaker 1 We're macro-dosing. There we go.

Speaker 1 All right. So, Joe Kim, I got some more bulls questions for you that I need some answers to.

Speaker 1 How hype were you when Carlos Boozer would say, get that or hold that?

Speaker 5 Whole lat. First of all, I want you guys to know the story of the whole lat.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Because shout out to Nate Robinson and shout out to Carlos Boozer. But whole that came from me

Speaker 5 and they ran with my shit. But I love them to death.
So, you know, I'm sorry for putting that on

Speaker 5 barstool, but it's the truth. Right.
But you know what? Those are my guys.

Speaker 5 And I remember being on the bus with them and being like, yo, guys, you guys just blatantly just took my shit

Speaker 5 and branded it.

Speaker 5 And I remember Carlos being on the bus like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 You say,

Speaker 1 hold that.

Speaker 5 We say,

Speaker 1 hold that.

Speaker 1 It's got vanilla.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Exactly.
But would that get you hyped when you just scream it? Because he would scream it. Get that, Joe.
Hold that.

Speaker 5 No, no, those, man, those were, man, we were competitive fuckers. We weren't fucking around.

Speaker 5 We were grimy. And you know what? I got none but love for those guys, man.
You know,

Speaker 5 Booze Cruz Baby, those were good times.

Speaker 1 Those were good times, man.

Speaker 1 What about the famous hair that Carlos had? We've had him on the show. We've asked him.
But from a teammate perspective,

Speaker 1 what did he say?

Speaker 1 I think he said that he went to, he was, I think it was in Boston, and he went to a barber that he had never gone to before. And the guy just started doing it.

Speaker 1 They fucked up and he fucked up. He shook polish on that, yeah.
So what, from you, from your perspective, he walks into the locker room that day.

Speaker 1 Did you just laugh in his face or do you just pretend like, hey, we got to have his confidence at a high? We're just going to tell him he got a good haircut, good shoe polish.

Speaker 5 Holy shit, that shit was crazy. That shit was fucked up.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 5 I mean, I don't even know what to say. I just, I remember, you know, going into practice and just, you know, I think we were in the layup lines or something in practice, just warming up.

Speaker 5 And everybody just was dying laughing. Like,

Speaker 1 he was pretending not to watch. You know what? Like,

Speaker 5 he's a soldier, man. Like, just to be able to go out there with that

Speaker 1 and just

Speaker 1 hold your own.

Speaker 5 I was like, yo, not everybody could do that. Not everybody could be in the lights like that

Speaker 5 anyway.

Speaker 1 I love that moment. Shout out to Carlos Boozo.

Speaker 1 Did you ever get any shit from your teammates about the side spin foul shot? I mean, that that's my whole life yeah that's my whole life I love that shot your shot is whack but it goes out

Speaker 1 don't say this don't say the W word I mean it is you know it's not

Speaker 1 it is it's always wet yeah

Speaker 1 sometimes it can get wet yes yes yes but you know when it comes out you're like this is this is wet you watched it back you're like oof that means yo what fuck it goes in sometimes sometimes you miss sometimes sometimes you fucking hit though and when you hit you got to let them know yes yes The pistols, which you actually retired, but the pistols.

Speaker 5 They're coming back. They are?

Speaker 1 They're coming back.

Speaker 5 Fuck them.

Speaker 1 Bring them back. I'll say this

Speaker 1 about the side spin shot.

Speaker 1 It's actually, it's a benefit to your team because when you miss, when there's a rebound, it bounces off differently than a normal shot would and gives you a better chance at offensive rebound.

Speaker 1 So your misses are worth it.

Speaker 5 I don't know about all that.

Speaker 5 All I know is when I do hit, though, how devastating it is for the other team.

Speaker 5 It's just like, I see it all the time.

Speaker 5 Honestly, I like that hitting a mid-range jumper more than a dunk or anything. It's just like, it's so demoralizing.

Speaker 1 To watch something so ugly go in. Yes.
Yeah, right. No, I agree because everyone's like, yo, give him that.
Let him shoot that.

Speaker 1 And then it goes in. You're like, wait, fuck.
I shouldn't have let him shoot that. Holat.

Speaker 1 Hole that shit. It's true.
That is true. When that goes in, it's way worse than like a dunk on someone.
You're like, damn. I want to make sure that we're saying it right.
Go in.

Speaker 1 When it's you, is it holat or

Speaker 1 boozer?

Speaker 1 H-O-L-B-A-T. Hold that.
Yeah. Which one is which? Which one gets hold at? Which one gets hole at?

Speaker 5 I thought it was holat the whole time, but Boozer kind of tried to trademark his shit. You know,

Speaker 1 that's the story. Okay, so it's hole that

Speaker 5 he's hole at.

Speaker 1 Hold that. Hold that.
Okay, gotcha. Could you please hold on to this for me? Yes, exactly.
That's what you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly. Right, right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 What about,

Speaker 1 do you hate LeBron as much as we do? No.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 5 I don't hate LeBron. I think it's just a little...
I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm just competitive. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And the fucking guy just beat us to win championships for years.

Speaker 5 And like, everybody just thinks that I just hate. I don't hate anybody.

Speaker 5 My life is good. You know what I'm saying? I'm not hating.

Speaker 5 just

Speaker 1 i'm just pissed when i lose well i always appreciated that from like a fan's perspective it always felt like you

Speaker 1 cared as like it's weird as fans you watch your you know your sports teams and you just want them to care as much as you do and uh like an irrational care and it felt like you always did like there was animosity when you were in a big series when you were fighting against guys like you didn't want to be friends you didn't want to be buddy buddy you wanted to kill them there you go and i love that about you there you go Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I appreciate that. Thank you.
God damn it. Those games, that, man.

Speaker 5 I mean, I just wish we had more battles against him when we were healthy. Because in my mind, I really felt like

Speaker 1 we really had a shot, you know.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 1 that last one. Fuck, man.
Yeah, that still fucking bothers me. Which one bothers you the most? The Eastern Conference final one was...

Speaker 1 You guys were on the upswing. So it was like, this is going to last last for a while.

Speaker 5 They beat us in the Eastern Conference Finals 4-1. Yeah.
But if you put all the scores together from that 4-1 series,

Speaker 5 the score was fucking tied. So that's how close this shit was.
That's how close this shit was.

Speaker 5 And then the next year, that's the year that De-Rose,

Speaker 5 I really felt like we had a better team. We were the number one team in the league.

Speaker 5 And we were coming at everybody's neck. And it just, you know,

Speaker 5 Derek got hurt.

Speaker 5 And actually, you know, we were,

Speaker 5 I got hurt that year too. And, I mean, I don't know if we would have, we definitely wouldn't have won the championship, but we would have busted a lot of teams' ass that were coming up next.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you know what I'm saying, that the other one that killed me was the Cleveland series when De-Rose hit the shot. That was the end of those polls.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I went to all three of those home games at the United Center, and LeBron did his fake ankle injury and then hit the game winner. Remember that? And it was just that one really stuck.

Speaker 5 That was a dagger.

Speaker 1 Because that one felt like you guys had him on the ropes.

Speaker 5 That was the end of that era.

Speaker 1 Can we talk positive ones, though?

Speaker 1 Positive playoff memories? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Personally, the Nets series. Yeah, fuck, that was amazing.
When everyone got hurt, Luel Dang almost died. Yeah, he did.

Speaker 1 It was literally had a spinal tap and was dead in the hospital. And you had 24 and I think 14 in game seven.
Basically put the whole team on your back.

Speaker 1 What was that like when you switched when all the injuries kind of started to pile up and it was there was that stretch where you were the guy like it was your team.

Speaker 5 I mean that that was probably you know the highlight of my career just being able to come home and play into game seven. I was coming off.
I had planned a fight shieris for like a couple months.

Speaker 5 I was fucked up. Shout out to Fabrice Gauthier, one of the best osteopaths in the game.
Just came in. He was

Speaker 5 shout out Fabrice.

Speaker 5 You know, ended up

Speaker 5 doing some stuff with my ankle. And the next thing you know, I was able to play.
I hadn't played two months before

Speaker 5 that series. And then, you know, a week later, a couple weeks later, it's game seven, and I'm playing at home.
And, you know, I had the best game of my career. So

Speaker 5 that was actually a dope time.

Speaker 5 We played Miami. I remember it's game six.

Speaker 5 We lose game six in Chicago. And

Speaker 5 we have to pack our bags

Speaker 5 for game seven in Brooklyn. And I remember Tibbs coming in the locker room.
You know, everybody's pissed off. It was a closed game.
I think, I don't know if it was OT or not, but it was a closed game.

Speaker 5 And he goes,

Speaker 5 Pack your bags and bring some fucking shorts because we're going to Miami right after.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 5 Yes. You know, so we were hyped because, you know, it's winner, go home.
Right. It's winner, go home.
And I remember we had to bring our Miami shit, too. So we were ready.
Our mindset was right.

Speaker 1 Yes. Was it game six against the Celtics when you had that dunk? Yes.
That was a good time, too.

Speaker 5 On Paul Pierce's neck.

Speaker 1 That series was. That's his neck.
That was Ben Gordon.

Speaker 5 B.G. Shout out, Ben Gordon.

Speaker 1 I mean, insane. When you're talking about all these teams, I can sense that you still get back into the competitive mode.
Like, you still don't look at your opponents fondly.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, yeah, me and Paul Pierce, we had a good time playing against each other. No.
so, like, that that is always going to stick with you.

Speaker 1 Like, if they were an opponent of yours, when you flash back to that, yeah, you know, you know, like

Speaker 5 I think it was, it was worse before because I couldn't even be around my

Speaker 5 I couldn't, I was so competitive that I couldn't even be around

Speaker 5 you know people I was competing against,

Speaker 5 you know. And then as I got, you know, now it's I don't, I don't, I don't feel, I'm I'm still, I'm still like that, but it's also like, all right,

Speaker 5 you know, keep that between the lines, and then when it's over, just it's cool.

Speaker 5 Like, just keep it basketball, and then after basketball, there's on the court, and there's off the court. Don't be competitive just

Speaker 5 with everything in life, because that'll fuck you up, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What about your three-point shot? What about it? Have you been working on it? Because that's another way that we could get you back.
Just say that you've been working on it.

Speaker 1 You're a stretch forward.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I'm going to to stretch four.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 You're a stretch for. There you go.
Stretch four, ready to come back in. Yeah.
Yeah. You got the Dirk Lowe post.

Speaker 1 I would imagine that if you ever took a three and even practice, Tibbs would probably be like, What are you doing?

Speaker 5 Yeah, he was hating.

Speaker 5 I hit a three one time in practice, and he

Speaker 5 was like,

Speaker 5 What the fuck are we doing?

Speaker 5 And I hit it.

Speaker 1 And I hit it.

Speaker 5 And he's like, Yo, what the fuck are we doing?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I remember.
Would he ever like smile or laugh?

Speaker 5 He would, but not during practice.

Speaker 5 Not when it was work. Right.
You know, you could catch him clowning, but not between the lines and not during practice and

Speaker 5 not during film.

Speaker 5 Shit.

Speaker 1 Never. Fuck.
Pretty much never.

Speaker 1 Speaking of former players and everything in the battles you went through, I have a clip I want to play you real quick. So we interviewed Kevin Garnett.

Speaker 1 It was probably about a month ago, and I asked him about the famous beef. So I want to hear your side of it.
This is what he said. Hold on, let me get to it.
He said, here we go.

Speaker 5 Did you guys try the coffee?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm having drinks delicious. Jesus, I feel gracious.
Don't say nothing. No, I feel gracious.

Speaker 1 You have to understand the inner peace that I'm feeling right now. I don't need to say anything.

Speaker 5 Tell the people that you were hungover. You felt like shit.
I was

Speaker 1 hydrate. I've only made a single time.
Drink a little bit of my superfood creamer. Yeah.
I feel great. And And you're feeling great.
Listen, it was a superfood creamer.

Speaker 1 It was a coconut water plus aquaman. Everyone knows about to hydrate from

Speaker 1 Lair's superfoods. And I slugged that, and now I'm drinking the mushroom tea.
Delicious. It is delicious.
I'm feeling like I'm on the moon right now. All right, here we go.
Ready?

Speaker 6 The story was Joe Kim Noah.

Speaker 1 It's like, you were my idol growing up, and Kevin just turned to him and said, Fuck you, Noah.

Speaker 1 I know. He asked me, Real shit.
He asked me, he asked me the move I just gave him. I'm like, nigga, figure it out.
Wait, get it out of here.

Speaker 1 You're the the one. I'm the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Jacob's ready to run through a brick wall right now. He's getting mad.

Speaker 1 All right, so tell us your side of that story.

Speaker 5 I'm going to tell you straight up. KG was,

Speaker 5 first of all, I just don't understand how, I don't think he remembers because I think the story meant a lot more to me than it did to him. Right.
You know?

Speaker 5 So I remember because I had KG posters in my wall. I had a fucking KG

Speaker 5 jersey growing up. So this is the story.
This is what happened. The first time I play KG, I'm hype as hell.
Like, we're playing the Celtics. I'm on the Bulls.
And I think they're up like 30 points.

Speaker 5 And I'm in the game. Like,

Speaker 5 it's like the last seconds. Like, nobody gives a shit.
So we're at the free throw line. And

Speaker 5 he used to work out with this guy called Joe Abunasar.

Speaker 5 And I was working out with him for pre-draft. So I was always excited.

Speaker 5 I was always hoping like KG would walk in the gym and you know i was i would be able to like work out with him and i remember asking him a question about

Speaker 5 yo you like you gonna you gonna work out with joe this i was just trying to be cool like i was just wanting to be i just wanted to say something to my idol

Speaker 5 and he just like looked over and he was like yo like who who the fuck are you talking to like Who the fuck you think you're talking to? And then like when he said that, I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Like, i shouldn't have

Speaker 5 and then like i kind of fell back knowing that i shouldn't have i shouldn't have said that like not

Speaker 5 not during the game right you know and then i didn't say anything and then when i didn't say anything i guess he thought i was the fucking i guess he thought i was pussy or something because he was like he kept like getting like louder and louder And then I was like, and then from that, from that moment on, I swear to God, I was like, yo, I'm going at him.

Speaker 5 Every single time we play, we are going at it.

Speaker 1 That's probably good for you, though.

Speaker 5 It changed my career. That moment changed my career because from that moment on, I learned that there's no love in battle.

Speaker 5 And, you know,

Speaker 5 this is competition. Like, at the end of the day,

Speaker 5 I'm trying to rip your fucking head off. You're trying to rip my head off.
Let's, let's go. Like, I'm trying to win just as bad as you're trying to win.
I'm not trying to to make no friends.

Speaker 5 And, you know, that moment right there changed everything. So, like,

Speaker 5 I hear people talking about that moment that they weren't even there. They don't even know what happened.
They're talking about it, writing that shit in books. Like, fuck out of here.

Speaker 5 Like, I remember that was a real important moment for me. And that's what happened.
And

Speaker 5 I'll say this, too.

Speaker 5 A couple years later, that year that Derek Rose got hurt, I know

Speaker 5 there's a lot of hype about that time because there's a movie that just came out, KG. But that series,

Speaker 5 I will say this, even when

Speaker 5 Derek went down that year,

Speaker 5 if I didn't get hurt and we played Boston,

Speaker 5 we were coming at them. And

Speaker 5 I was ready for that.

Speaker 1 I was hungry for that. I wanted that.

Speaker 1 It took like the only person or one of the only people, I would assume, in the league that you looked up to at that point. And it reminded you that you're not there to look up to anybody anymore.

Speaker 1 He's your peer. So you

Speaker 1 now you just want to dunk on him. Exactly.
I like that. That's cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because that does it gets spun a different a ton of different ways where it looks like, shit, I'm getting hot. Yeah, take off your jacket.
It must be the mushrooms.

Speaker 1 This is probably the first phase of the trip. It makes you sweat out the top.
I just want to put on some of the music, put on some dead, maybe some Marley, whatever. We'll get through this.
Do you

Speaker 1 amongst friends? Do you consider yourself a hippie?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you listen to?

Speaker 5 I listen to a lot of Bob, you know, a lot of Reagan music, you know, just Gregory Isaacs, a lot of the Barrington Livy.

Speaker 5 I just watched a movie the other day, Searching for Sugar Man. You ever seen that? Yes.

Speaker 1 Rodriguez? Yes.

Speaker 1 Six.

Speaker 1 Check that out. Yeah, I haven't watched it yet.
What's it about?

Speaker 5 It's about this guy in Detroit who

Speaker 5 great musician and

Speaker 5 ends up talking about

Speaker 5 um

Speaker 5 he's a superstar in during apartheid in South Africa and doesn't know it, right?

Speaker 1 He had like a hit and he had no idea that he had a hit. That's crazy another part of the world, super famous, yeah, super famous, like David Hasselhoff.
Did he go to Germany?

Speaker 1 Did they take him over there and he like gets off a plane? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yes, check it out.

Speaker 5 Shout out searching, searching for Sugarman.

Speaker 1 Sean for Ziegerman's cool. Sick.
So do you listen to that chilled-out music to bring you down from being so fired up?

Speaker 1 Or do you find, like, it's kind of strange, like, because you are a fierce competitor when you're on the court, but you're like a very mellow dude off of it.

Speaker 5 I think I was just, I was raised like that. You know, this isn't a gimmick.
You know, I just, I listen to, this is what my mother and my dad listen to. And,

Speaker 5 you know, they're hippies. So,

Speaker 5 you know, I mean, this is who we are.

Speaker 1 Speaking of your dad, I saw that video where he caught a fish with his hands. First of all, I'm calling bullshit.
I feel like there was a fish on the line underneath the dock.

Speaker 1 Second of all, if it was real,

Speaker 1 tell me it was real because our producer, Hank, thinks he can do the same thing.

Speaker 5 Hank, you can't do that shit. Stop playing.

Speaker 1 So was it real? It's fucking real. No way.
It's real. He just jumped in and caught a fish with his fish.
Yeah, it was his fish. Yeah.
Fuck.

Speaker 5 He's an animal. Does he do that a lot? Yeah,

Speaker 5 he's an animal like that. Nah, he's just, he definitely fucking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like he went to the grocery store. There's a whole time.
I was like, there's a fish underneath the dock.

Speaker 1 That was epic, though. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 5 My pop said when he came, he came to see me last summer. He was like, somebody went up to him.
He's like, yo,

Speaker 1 you're the guy who caught the fish?

Speaker 1 How did you do that? That's great. Did you play tennis growing up? No.
Did you dad? No, not at all. Never.
Really? No.

Speaker 5 I still bust your ass in ping pong, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we're going to play ping pong after. Absolutely.
We're absolutely going to play ping pong after.

Speaker 5 But no, no tennis, man. That was never.
That was just never. I don't know.
I just didn't like people.

Speaker 5 You know, I grew up in Paris till I was 10. And

Speaker 5 I just didn't like people just

Speaker 5 being around.

Speaker 5 I just didn't like the energy about tennis. I just didn't like it.

Speaker 1 Probably John McEnroe's fault.

Speaker 1 Just kind of a dick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just like, fuck this.

Speaker 5 Shout out Johnny Mac.

Speaker 1 Speaking of your, back to your shot real quick. You played with President Obama and he made fun of your shot, right? Yeah.
What happened there?

Speaker 5 He,

Speaker 5 shit, I got invited by President Obama for his 50th birthday to come hoop. So that was one of the, you know, that was a highlight for sure.

Speaker 5 And, yeah,

Speaker 5 he made fun of my jumper, but you know,

Speaker 5 it was a special. I mean, everybody makes fun of my jumper.
It's like, you know, it's like...

Speaker 1 Get in line, but it was cool. It was cool because

Speaker 5 he was definitely ruined. He was rooting for us.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 it was cool to have.

Speaker 1 Did you take it easy on him?

Speaker 1 No way. Did you dunk on him?

Speaker 1 Honestly, I don't even remember.

Speaker 1 He probably put you on his team. No.
He probably invited you. He's like, hey, Joachim, Derek, Carlos, why don't you come play for my 50th birthday? We'll play like a bunch of my Secret Service.

Speaker 1 Like, we'll run for the first time.

Speaker 5 I don't remember him even being on the court. I just remember watching him a little bit, and he was, he's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's got a little bit of a silky, smooth, left, left-handed game. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember when he was running for president, the rule when you're running for president is never shoot a jump shot on camera because, like, if you're, you know, 50 years old and you're running, you're probably going to miss it.

Speaker 1 And then that video clip is out there. And he just got the ball and he just stepped back from like three and just wet it.
He walked away. I was like, okay, that guy is cool under pressure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he can do that. Cool dude.

Speaker 5 I just thought it was cool to have like a president that came from, you know,

Speaker 5 born in Hawaii, father African, just mother white. It was just, he just came from so many different backgrounds.
I just thought that that was that would be interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I was, um, I was just thinking earlier, when you went to the University of Florida, you were there at the exact same time that their football team

Speaker 1 was also dominating.

Speaker 1 That's probably the most athletic college campus that has ever existed. Yeah, Chris Leake or Tebow? Both, both.
Both. Yeah.
Both. Okay.
Did you ever did you ever play hoops against them?

Speaker 5 Nope. Not them.
But it was like, we were, I mean,

Speaker 5 it was more like about partying.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know, then

Speaker 5 like, hey, guys, let's go play basketball.

Speaker 1 No, it was, yo,

Speaker 5 let's get lit after we win in championships.

Speaker 1 Do you still keep in touch with those guys that were on your team, Al Horford, Corey Brewer? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Shout out to Horphy.
You know, he has a shot to win a championship. And,

Speaker 5 you know, Corey's trying to... you know, get a job in the league.
He's busting his ass, trying to get back out there. Torrens playing great overseas.
He plays in France. All those guys.

Speaker 5 They actually are naming

Speaker 5 the court out there, Billy Donovan Court next month. Oh, nice.
So, you know, I'm sure we'll all meet up and do something for him.

Speaker 1 You guys were so good. You were, I think, was this year did three guys from Duke go in the top 10? So that was the only other time it's happened is you guys went three in the top 10.

Speaker 1 Duke this year went three in the top 10. Only time it's happened.
in all college basketball.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was also, you know who else was on campus? Interesting. You guys will appreciate this.

Speaker 1 Dan Bolzarian. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We had to say his name on this podcast. We were under him, but we're under NDA.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? He's such a dickhead that we can't. Yeah, we went to his house.
No, you can't even say he's a dickhead. Well, he's such a dickhead that he won't let us say that he's a dickhead.

Speaker 1 We signed some like super strict NDA to go into his house. So we signed too much.
How was it? How was it? We can't tell you. No, we can't tell you.
We just can't tell you. Really? No, we signed it.

Speaker 1 So you guys basically make me say all this shit. Yeah.
And then I'm asking you a legitimate question. Okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 1 And you guys, house was his house was sick okay it was incredible okay and there was weed everywhere okay we took a bunch

Speaker 1 he had

Speaker 1 he had bongs that were shaped like guns yeah it was a whole room of gun bongs just wow awesome well he's he's a gator boy he is that's anyway so which

Speaker 5 you guys have to yeah i don't i don't honestly i don't i don't remember if we partied together or not but i just know he was on campus

Speaker 1 you know who else was there aaron hernandez yes yes

Speaker 5 did you watch that documentary yet yo i've been watching it crazy.

Speaker 1 Did you ever party with him? Yes. Ooh.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 That's about it, though.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pretty intense. Hope.
Pretty intense hope.

Speaker 5 That was about it, though. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, there was

Speaker 5 a lot of crazy shit going on, though. That's just, it was all in those two, three years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys were the center of college sports for those two, three years. Yeah.
It was crazy. When you came back after saying, can you imagine how crazy going to the bar was? No.

Speaker 1 With the championship football team and a championship basketball team?

Speaker 5 Insane. Okay, we'll leave it at that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you came back for the second championship, did you know that you were going to come back and you just pulled a psych on everybody, or did you actually think you were going pro?

Speaker 1 I hadn't, honestly,

Speaker 5 the shit happened so fast.

Speaker 5 I mean, I didn't even know

Speaker 5 I wasn't even considered to be

Speaker 5 going to the NBA

Speaker 5 that year.

Speaker 5 So it was just like everything was like, yo, you have a chance to be the number one pick. That all happened

Speaker 5 during the tournament. So during the tournament, it's like, you know, we're just, we're so locked in at that point.
We're just trying to win a chip. And then when we won, it was so fun.

Speaker 5 They were like, all right, you got to go. I was like, hell no, I'm not going anywhere.
This is, this is, this is great. I don't need nothing.

Speaker 5 You know, so

Speaker 5 I just loved, honestly, when you have like a remedy to winning and you're winning, like that feeling of winning a championship,

Speaker 5 there's no feeling like that ever. I've been chasing it for, shit, I'm still chasing it.

Speaker 1 Except drinking mushroom coffee. Exactly.
That's the closest I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 That's the closest thing you get in podcasts.

Speaker 5 As the closest it gets to winning a championship.

Speaker 1 So get your super food creamer and stop playing around.

Speaker 1 That championship game, I remember being so pissed because you and Greg Odin got fouls so quickly and that stupid foul rule.

Speaker 1 Remember how it was so hyped up, like Odin versus Jokeem Noah, and then you guys were out for like basically the entire first half. Am I remembering that correctly?

Speaker 5 I don't remember much about that game.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure that you guys both got your two fouls

Speaker 5 right away. It's crazy.
I really don't remember much about basketball games. I just remember after the game like what we were doing

Speaker 1 lit. You remember the lit.

Speaker 5 We've been talking about lit a lot.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, let's stop talking about lit. Come on, Liz.

Speaker 5 A lot of literature.

Speaker 1 You should be back in the league. Are you going to, have people been asking? Because you were good last year with the Grizzlies.

Speaker 5 Honestly, I'm busting my ass right now every day.

Speaker 5 I'm hungry. I'm trying to get back out there.

Speaker 5 I felt like I played, you know, I played pretty well last year on the Grizzlies.

Speaker 5 They gave me an opportunity when everybody was laughing at me, saying that it was over.

Speaker 5 Got back on the court, handled my business, and I really felt like I had a good shot. I had a freak accident happen.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 I got injured. I had to get a little surgery.
But, you know,

Speaker 5 and I think that I'm in a position right now where, you know, I made money. I made all those things.
And a lot of people would be like, you know, you can just chill and just fall back and enjoy life.

Speaker 5 But, you know, that's not who I am. I'm a competitive motherfucker.
I love being out on the court. It has nothing to do with money.
I'm not out here trying to make it. It's not about making money.

Speaker 5 It's just about.

Speaker 5 being in the locker room and

Speaker 5 and getting a shot to play for for something big. That to me is what it's all about.

Speaker 5 And, you know,

Speaker 5 I'm working my ass off to get there, and that's what I want.

Speaker 1 All right. So, my promise to you, that speech, which just got me so fired up, because you're right.
You've made all the money. You don't need to play.
You want to play.

Speaker 1 We're going to clip that and we're going to tag every NBA team. Let's fucking go.
Except for every NBA team. Except for Cleveland.
Except for Cleveland. Except for Cleveland.
Except for Cleveland.

Speaker 1 But we're going to tag every NBA team and be like, hey, peep this. Joe Keem's ready.
He's going to give you 10 and 10 every single night.

Speaker 1 Just fucking say the word. Best strip of his life.
Coach Ross has you going.

Speaker 1 Coach Ross has you going every single time.

Speaker 5 Shout out Ross Burns.

Speaker 1 He doesn't like me.

Speaker 5 Why not? What'd you do?

Speaker 1 When we were on TBT,

Speaker 1 I would, because we weren't playing.

Speaker 5 He just told me this story like two days ago.

Speaker 1 Well, we would just basically,

Speaker 1 like, the layup line was my game. Like, that was my favorite time because that's the only time I got to actually shoot.
And he got mad at me because I was going too hard in the layup line.

Speaker 1 And who was Justin Burrell? I was trying to D him up. Like, I was actually kind of trying to injure him because I was trying to play so hard.
And he was like, you have to stop.

Speaker 1 Like, we only have six guys who can play. You're playing D and the line.
And I was like, in the layup line? Well, we had, no, we were warming up. And we had a

Speaker 1 eight-man roster. Yeah.
And seven and eight were me and Dave. So we really had a six-man roster.
So Coach Ross was like, dude, if you hurt him. And I was like, I'm ready to go.
He's like, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I will play with four before I play with you.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we had, it was, you know, it's classic. You know, sometimes you don't see eye to eye with the coach.
Yeah. Yeah, it just happens.
That shit happens for real.

Speaker 1 All right, we're going to get you a job. All the rest of my questions are about different cities to be lit in.
So I'm going to bypass those.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right. I got one last question.
Wait, I got to find my, oh, I have one trivia question for you. This is another one that we can tag everyone on Twitter.

Speaker 1 You are one of only five players. Ready for this? One of only five players to have a Final Four MVP, all-NBA first team, all-defensive first team.
Put that on the resume. Put that on a clip.

Speaker 1 The other players, Hakeem, Anthony Davis, Bill Walton, Jerry West.

Speaker 1 Pretty good company. Shit.
I think you're a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 5 I don't know about all of them. Well, now

Speaker 5 we can get it going. In the streets.
In the streets.

Speaker 1 You're a Hall of Famer. Yeah, I like that.
All right, I got one last question.

Speaker 8 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 8 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 8 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this.
Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 8 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Go see Joke play whenever he gets signed after this interview. Promo code take $10 off your ticket purchase.
What is Derek Rose like outside of playing basketball?

Speaker 5 He's the best. You know,

Speaker 5 sometimes Derek got some, he always got heat for saying wild shit sometimes. But the truth about him is if you knew him, you just knew that he's just a real humble guy, you know.

Speaker 5 And, you know, and he went through

Speaker 5 a lot, a lot of, like, you know, just being hometown kid, you know, and youngest MVP

Speaker 5 to,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 tearing, you know, your ACL when, you know, the lights were the brightest, you know, in your hometown. And to be able to see him now, like, walking around smiling, you know, head high

Speaker 5 with everything that he went through, it's, that's what it, to me, that's what it's all about. You know, like

Speaker 5 it's about the journey. Like, you see some of these guys, they're done playing, and it's like they're fucking bitter.

Speaker 5 And, like, this guy's still out there with everything, even though he made his bread, he did everything, and he's still out there competing because he loves to hoop. And he's in a good place.

Speaker 5 And you know what? For that, that's why I always had his back. Because I was like, you know what, this dude's like,

Speaker 5 I just don't fuck with people who just like run around, you know,

Speaker 5 ego on a million, you know, just running around on their superstar shit. Like, he was never like that.
He was always about, you know,

Speaker 5 the real shit, you know, his people and taking care of what's important and seeing people for what they are and not like

Speaker 5 he wasn't a bandwagon dude at all, you know. So shout out to the real.
Shout out to Derek Rose.

Speaker 5 That's my brother forever.

Speaker 1 Was there a moment in his first couple of years where you're like, holy shit, like this guy is for real, for real?

Speaker 5 Every night. Yeah.
I mean, every night. I mean, it was like the guy came in.
He was just,

Speaker 5 he just knew. I mean, the guy was just, he was special, man.
And he was, he was, it was almost sometimes like, as humble as he was, he would say

Speaker 5 the way he, like, his approach.

Speaker 5 Sometimes you'd be like, yo, this guy's just, he's nuts. He would be like 19 years old and be like, yo,

Speaker 5 I'm going to win MVP and I'm going to win like six championships.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 And he'd be like, yo, Derek's just the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 5 calm down.

Speaker 1 And then you win one MVP.

Speaker 5 But it was like that way. His mindset was just,

Speaker 5 it was some other shit. And I almost feel like to be

Speaker 5 to be great, you almost have to

Speaker 1 be like that. Well, yeah, it's crazy that he was able to be that good and that driven in his hometown because I feel like, I mean, you've experienced it.

Speaker 1 I'm sure, like, playing in your hometown gives you all the distractions in the world. All the distractions.

Speaker 1 And to be able to, like, tune that out and become an intense, like, psychopathic competitor, a real-driven person like that, takes a special mindset. For sure.

Speaker 5 100%. And that, you know, he did it.
And, you know, that's why like these are extreme situations. And that's why.

Speaker 5 people talk shit about tibbs but we needed somebody like that like you know it was like think about what was going on you had a 22 year old making

Speaker 5 40 million dollars that year you know and in his hometown

Speaker 5 like you needed somebody with structure like we needed strit

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 5 you know but at the same but really wants to win right like it was you know i talk a lot about like about partying and all that stuff but at the end of the day when it came basketball and winning was always

Speaker 5 is always more important like i care that stuff is fun but

Speaker 5 we were in the business of winning basketball games, you know, and

Speaker 5 you know, it worked. And to me, I always say, if it wasn't for injuries, I always felt like we would have got one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think anyone's ever going to question your competitive streak because if you watch you play one time, you're like, that guy just wants it more than everyone else.

Speaker 1 In the middle of February, when everyone's kind of not even trying, you were doing everything, all the little stuff. So, thanks.
I think you're good on that. Appreciate it.
Joe Keim has been awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Laird, Laird.

Speaker 5 Laird. Shout out Laird Superfoods.

Speaker 1 Laird Superfoods. Get the mushrooms.
I'm so high. Get the mushrooms.
I'm so high now.

Speaker 1 No, just kidding. Yeah, check it out.
That was your trick. You dosed us with drugs.
I do it.

Speaker 1 It beat our ass and picked up. No, this stuff is actually delicious.
This is delicious. So check it out.
Laird Superfoods, Joe Kim Noah. Thank you so much.
Hall of Famer. And soon to have a job.

Speaker 1 Thank you, man.

Speaker 1 That interview with Joe Kim Noah's

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we got Talking XFL.
PFT. Let's discuss how is the XFL.
I'm going to tell you right now, the DC Defenders are a wagon. They're a goddamn wagon.

Speaker 1 There's no one getting in between them and whatever trophy is called for the XFL championship. Yeah.
I don't know what it's called.

Speaker 1 I actually thought about

Speaker 1 dinosaur bones or something. Just Vince McMahon's hair that Donald Trump shaved off that one time, dipped in bronze.

Speaker 1 I went down to the D.C. Defenders game.
Crowd wasn't as big as week one. That's to be expected, but it was cold.

Speaker 1 So everyone that showed up, they were a real football guy to brave the weather to get out there. Dominated the puny Guardians, Darren Revelle's Guardians.

Speaker 1 And that's about the story of the weekend. Okay.
That's about it. Houston looks good.
The Cupsnake was awesome. Cupsnake was great.

Speaker 6 Matt McGloy got benched at halftime.

Speaker 1 Matt McLoyl. For tripping his own team.
Yeah, so McGloyne went like, I think he completed four passes for 40 yards in the first half.

Speaker 1 And then on the way to the locker room, he said, we need to redo the entire game plan. Right.
And then his coach was like, okay, including the game plan that had you as a starting quarterback. Yes.

Speaker 1 Literally Matt McGloyne. So he got benched.
If I was Matt, I would just say,

Speaker 1 I've never been the same since that laser game in Mexico City. Oh, the laser got in my eye.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got reverse Jameised in it.

Speaker 1 I am going to, I found my team for the XFL. Well, not really my team.
I'm more of a fan of a Twitter account that is a fan of a team. He goes by Renegade Jim.
He's Jimmy Bucks Bucks with X's there.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's a Dallas fan? He's a huge Dallas fan, and I could not be more in on his Twitter account. So he has, he's been burning people.
He said he tweeted on Valentine's Day. Wait.

Speaker 1 Oh, definitely not going to be raising any hell this weekend. Oh, wait.
It's opposite day. Oh.
Raising hell. Shit.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is what I'm... I'm about to get into it.
So he...

Speaker 1 Oh, here's ⁇ you want to talk about your DC defenders being a wagon? Yeah, they are. I got bad news for you, buddy.
Hit me.

Speaker 1 Defenders only playing home games really going to hurt them when it counts. They're not battle-tested? No.
Well, guess what? The defenders are going into Dignity Health Sports Complex this weekend.

Speaker 1 There you go. And if we come out of that with a big W, a big road win.

Speaker 1 He said there's a picture of Vipers fans all dressed in snake outfits.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Dragons fans. Sorry, I get them confused.
It said, wow, XFL Dragon fans are super cool. Hashtag psych.
Oh, I was going to say not. He also has, Renegade Jim has his record as 1-0.

Speaker 1 And I asked him, hey, dude, like, you guys are 1-1. And he said he's only counting games that Landry the Goat played.

Speaker 1 That's fair. So I'm in on.
I've got mine updated at 2-0. I'm in on the Dallas.
I'm not in on the Dallas Renegades. I'm in on Renegade Jim following the Dallas Renegades.

Speaker 1 I'm also staying a little woke on Landry Jones because I feel like Landry is a fourth or fifth announcer. Right.

Speaker 1 They talk to him on the sidelines so much. I think that he wants to get a gig being an analyst or being in the booth next year.

Speaker 1 I think that's what he's angling for because he's being like super honest. They ask him today, like, hey, Landry, what's going wrong with you in the first half? He's like, I suck.

Speaker 1 I suck at throwing footballs, and I'm throwing them to the wrong people when I should be throwing them to the right people. So I'm just bad.

Speaker 1 And it was like, it was actually an engaging interview that they had with him. But I think that he's, you will see Landry Jones in some sort of booth or behind a desk within the next year and a half.

Speaker 1 That's my bold XFO prediction. That's a great mustache of the week.
So are we, what rank it against, like, obviously week one, everyone tuned in because they were the novelty, the excitement.

Speaker 1 It seemed like the story was maybe bad quarterback play is not great, you know, except Cardell. Cardell's good, and also P.J.
P. J.
Walker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 And Andy Lux, buddy. P.J.
Walker. On the Houstons.
Yeah, on the

Speaker 1 Roughnecks. Yes, that's right.

Speaker 1 So would you say that's a fair assessment, though? Yeah, quarterback play. Quarterback trouble hasn't been great.

Speaker 1 But, I mean, again, I'm only watching D.C. teams, so that defense going up against anyone.
They're going to make anyone look like a child out there. That's just defenders football.

Speaker 1 In fact, I'm ready to have the conversation.

Speaker 1 And by the way, people are saying that since the in-stadium experience is so good that Snyder will be selling the team, I heard that again from multiple sources this weekend.

Speaker 1 I'm actually saying that I think that the defenders could beat the Redskins. But right now, I'm saying like the Redskins roster, as it stands,

Speaker 1 if they just showed up at the stadium

Speaker 1 without practicing. And their coaches just told them, like, Drew plays in the dirt and say, go out there and execute these plays.

Speaker 1 And you'd have a battle of uh of Buckeye quarterbacks going on yeah that would be fun District of Columbus that would actually be very fun uh I got one more renegade Jim for you okay he tweeted if you stand by them during the bad if you don't or no if you stand by them during the bad times you deserve to be there during the good times stay loyal there's been two weeks lifelong fan but he's the ups and downs or first week the ups and downs in the next fl season is it's enough to drive anybody insane a lot of people talking smack do you realize the chiefs lost week one and look what happened with them So it's good.

Speaker 1 It's good to shake the cobwebs. I can't tell if this guy's trolling or not.
I'm going to assume he's not just so that I can enjoy all of his cobbles. I want it to be pure.
I want it to be pure.

Speaker 1 I want Renegade Jim. I don't have an XFL team.
I just have a guy who watches an XFL team and I follow him.

Speaker 1 I think the big story of this week for me was the continued excellence of that one ref that wears the red hat that has the fanny pack that's filled with footballs at all times. Right.

Speaker 1 That's the new wrinkle that they have. Just one guy just always keeps that motherfucking thing on him.

Speaker 1 All right, we have a Hank hot in the streets. Hank, what do you got?

Speaker 6 It's more of an explain it. Explain it to Hank for PFT, but the new hot in the streets slang for like beta, instead of like, you know, if you want to diss someone, you just call them a simp.

Speaker 1 A simp. I've been seeing simp.
Simp is having a moment right now online. I see that people are saying that Liv Cowher has like a lot of simps that follow her.
Yep. What is that? It stands for simply

Speaker 6 a simple person lacking common sense.

Speaker 1 A fool or simpleton.

Speaker 6 A man who foolishly overvalues woman and puts her on a pedestal.

Speaker 1 You're like a fuckboy. Is it the same as a fuckboy?

Speaker 6 No, fuckboys are like, they like lead girls on and like kind of fuck them over.

Speaker 6 Simps are like beta's like whatever you want, queen.

Speaker 1 What's the difference between a simp and an incel?

Speaker 6 Not much.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Simp. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It sounded kinkier when you hear the word simp. You know what? Simp, like loser.
Yeah, you think of gimp, kind of. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like someone who's totally submissive. Is it the same as a sub? Pretty much.
Okay. Okay.
All right. So simp, who would you say, like in

Speaker 1 our world is a simp? Give me an example.

Speaker 6 DR.

Speaker 1 D.R. is a simp.

Speaker 6 Big time simp.

Speaker 1 Oh, who went to JJ Watts' wedding, which I think you mean

Speaker 1 Kayla O'Hai's wedding. True.
Don't you? Married a Wisconsin man. Yes, a simple greenie.
Simp. Simp? Greeny.
Greeny's a simp. Wow.
What about fans of Greenie? Have you seen...

Speaker 1 No, you can be like a simp stan, right? But that doesn't make you a simp? No. Yeah, if you're a simp stan, I feel like

Speaker 1 it's almost more of an alpha move.

Speaker 1 To be able to acknowledge that you root on a simp.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, that's an alpha.
Like, you're trying to elevate the simps? Yeah, exactly. It's like

Speaker 1 when a coach puts in an equipment manager for like one touchdown run at the end of a year. Right.

Speaker 1 That coach is an alpha by showing what a good person. Like, I'm so kind-hearted because I root for for Greenie to have missionary sex once a month with his wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a non-simp move. Total non-simp move.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think we're understanding. Hank's looking at me like I'm not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 6 No, I'm trying to think of other.

Speaker 1 Drake is a simp.

Speaker 6 Nope.

Speaker 1 He's not? No. Why?

Speaker 6 He doesn't even have a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big simp. No.
He can't even talk to girls.

Speaker 1 Big simp.

Speaker 1 So that's it? Like, legally, he has a... I'm pretty sure it's a restraining order against every person under 18.
Should we try not to use this? Like, what's the... Probably not, right? What's wrong?

Speaker 1 I mean, I feel like I don't have a grasp of the simp life.

Speaker 1 Ooh, the simp life. That should be a reality show.
Mm-hmm. Where it's.

Speaker 1 The Simps. Just two losers.
Yeah. I think we're two.
Maybe you get the people. Our podcast is The Simp Life.

Speaker 1 And The Sims. The Simps.
Uh-huh. Hank, you loving this? And they're in love with Paris Hilton.
Yes, yes. Perfect.
Simple life. And

Speaker 1 they buy all the stuff off Paris Hilton's Amazon wish list. That's the a simple mood, right? It's like going on a porn star's wish list on Amazon and getting a big simo.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Get her like the silk.

Speaker 1 The man who foolishly overvalues a woman and puts her on a pedestal. Oh, that's just romance.

Speaker 1 Simps. Whatever happened to treating your queen like a lady? Okay, so like porn hub commenters, simps.
Got it. I had a drunk idea on Saturday.
Oh, geez. I might just,

Speaker 1 I drank a zillion beers. I might start blogging in the pornhub comment section.
You should. Like, write sports blogs.

Speaker 1 You should write down

Speaker 1 detailed

Speaker 1 game plans. Like, here's what I'm looking for week three.
Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Vikings versus Seahawks.
No, I'll do my XXFL. There you go.
I'll do my XFL previews in the comments section.

Speaker 1 Inside the comments section. Of the Pornhub.
Yeah. I like that.
Okay. New settings.
That's a winner. By the way, we're 12 points away from finding out who's going to win the All-Star game.

Speaker 1 It's been electric. Yes.
They actually are playing defense now. So there you go.
You have your defense. My dad is ecstatic.
I remember when they played defense.

Speaker 1 So wrapping up, Hank, you good?

Speaker 1 Beebs? New segment. Hank, how you doing? Hank.
I'm doing great. You okay? Beebs slid into your girlfriend's

Speaker 1 Day.

Speaker 6 She was chirping his album, saying it wasn't good.

Speaker 1 Is it not good? It's not good.

Speaker 6 So she was chirping him, and he just, like, it was in one of those Twitter moments where it's like, here's what people are saying about Justin Bieber's new album.

Speaker 6 And her tweet was in there, so I think Justin was just going to the moment

Speaker 1 replying her being like, too bad. The algorithm got him.
He wasn't checking out her profile. Got it.
It was put into his feed. Got it.
So I'm great.

Speaker 1 So he said, what did he say to her? Too bad. Too bad.
That's a little flirty.

Speaker 1 Do you think she was flirting and nagging him by saying that your album's not that great?

Speaker 1 No. She was.

Speaker 6 Dead honest. I think she was a believer.
She wanted to like the album, but she just didn't.

Speaker 1 Gotcha.

Speaker 1 So when he said too bad in her DM, she probably just like let it go because she doesn't want to like get into a back and forth with justin bieber or say anything like witty to reply to her right well you know for you know her job and like content purposes like it makes sense for her to reply to him so she did oh what'd she say is it too late now to say sorry oh wow that's that's not flirty at all nope definitely not flirty and did he reply to this she sent that to him on valentine's day too right i just want to make sure for my records i've got this story dead to rest we're writing a story about it yeah so we want to make sure that we do all of our research it'll be on um

Speaker 1 publishing on Pornhub. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Under the James Brown video that he tweeted out.

Speaker 1 So do we want to just hang out and watch the end? I mean, who cares?

Speaker 1 Of the All-Star game? Yeah, I don't know. There's 12 points left.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 12 points left if Team Giannis is 12 points away. Yeah, I think we should talk about the end of that game.
Okay, we're back. We actually stopped, and then we watched the end, and it was awesome.

Speaker 1 It was pretty cool. I've never seen a game in like that.
The two free throws to seal it, when he missed the first one, he had to be pooping himself a little bit on the second.

Speaker 1 It was cool because it was like, I mean, we do, I just said that I didn't want to see them play defense because it's not as fun, but then it actually got like really fun,

Speaker 1 but no one knew how to play offensively together, so it was one-on-one basketball.

Speaker 1 It was essentially like the best players in the world playing a sloppy pickup game on a Saturday or Sunday morning, and it's like the seventh game of the day.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like last game, so people are not playing sharp and jacking threes, and like, I want to be hero. No, I want to be the hero.

Speaker 1 It kind of looked like two dads, two like 55-year-old dads figuring out how to play 2K for the first time against each other. Right, and Kyle Lowry taking charges, two huge charges.

Speaker 1 The kids were awesome, but I think that this actually, like, I don't know, I still understand the scoring thing. Nope, but it was

Speaker 1 a blue one. That was the coolest ending we've had in an all-star game in a long time.

Speaker 1 They should make the kids that lost have to actually go into debt to the kids that want to pay them their winnings. And shout out the refs.
We all came to see the refs.

Speaker 1 And so it was good that we had to watch a lot of refs. The big virgin, Cal

Speaker 1 Rowry, taking two nice charges there, Downey. Yeah, really nice charges.
So, all right, that's all-star weekend.

Speaker 1 Actually, a very good, like the cap off of this, and the best part is, like, Kobe would have, would have nailed the three right away. Little tribute.
He would have definitely had the game winner.

Speaker 1 LeBron tried to do it from half court. He tried to do it from half court.
Kawhi had his shot at it, too. Yeah.
So, good all-star weekend. Good job, NBA.
This league, everyone's back. It's NBA season.

Speaker 1 Do we owe an apology to Adam Silver? Yes. Adam, actually, we'll have to tweet this out so that he sees it because otherwise, he'll never know.
Adam,

Speaker 1 I'd like to apologize for absolutely nothing.

Speaker 1 It's my job to hold you accountable, Adam Silver.

Speaker 1 But you did a good job on this one.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Welcome to motherfucking Detroit, goddammit.

Speaker 5 Wonderboy.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 6 Damn, son. Where'd you find this?

Speaker 1 It's part of my tick, presented by Barn Stool Sports.