Joakim Noah, NBA All Star Weekend, And The Astros Story Is Never Going Away

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On today's part of my take, we have Joakim Noah. A little all-star recap.
A little Rob Manfred stepped in it and the Astros controversy will never go away. Who's back of the week? XFL.
Hot in the streets. A huge President's Day special episode.
Actually, I'm going to call it a special episode because some people have the day off. So we should get credit for working extra hard.
Yeah, I agree. Always we should get credit for working extra hard.
So it's a special extra episode. It's like one of those car dealerships giving, you know, it's the lowest price as possible on President's Day.
And they can't call it a sale anymore. It's always like a sales event.
Right. Can I give you a little tip here? It's a podcast event.
Yeah, it's a podcast event. We're going to have those.
We've got those flailing inflatable guys right outside the studio. Sweet tea.
A little tip on sales events during President's Day and all these like tent sales that you see. What they actually do is they just mark up the prices, like $3,000, and then they take $1,500 off those.
Ooh, yes. I used to sling cars back in the day.
That's beautiful. That's a beautiful sales event.
Dirty little trick. It's a beautiful sales event.
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We'll hook up some people who had some bad beats over the last week.

Today is Monday, February 17th.

Happy President's Day.

Happy President's Day, everybody.

Bye, bye, bye.

Happy holidays.

It is.

We're here.

We're working on President's Day.

We should probably be applauded for that.

Yeah.

Maybe a quick round of applause for us.

Who's your favorite president?

Just in general?

Yeah.

My favorite president?

I like Dave.

Dave Baker?

No, Dave.

President of the Hall of Fame?

Dave from the movie Dave.

Which one?

Who pretends to be president.

Way to date us, dude.

The guy Dave that pretends to be the president.

It's a movie from like, what year did that come out?

It's a great movie. 1995.
Go watch Dave today to celebrate American presidents. Or watch the American president.
Who's your favorite president? Hank? Probably Ben Frank. Ben Franklin, great president.
Big time president. Thomas Edison.
Also, yeah. Alexander Hamilton.
All those guys. They did it for the squad.
Best to ever do it. Big time squad guys.
Hamilton. I liked FDR.
Dude was president forever. Yeah, he kept going.
Also, wasn't he first cousins with his wife? Yeah. Yeah, him and Albert Einstein.
Smart guys. Yeah.
It's a hot new way to just date whoever you're... It actually makes it kind of easy because think about it.
No one wants to go to Christmas, Thanksgiving, got to see your family. You just kind of reduce that by one because...
One one because one less house you have to well it's like you'd have a cousin and a wife now you just have a cousin wife yeah that's a good point also uh your kids are gonna have all the same strengths and weaknesses you did yeah so you don't have to learn new skills for them yeah so president's day welcome to the president's day special of part of my take we're calling it the president's reason. We're going to be doing it.
We've never not done a President's Day show, but we're just going to say that this is a special one. Yeah, Presidente is a type of lager too.
It's a delicious beer. If you're into drinking one or a host of them.
He sends me all the ads to Signal Boost. Yeah.
No beer though. Is he going to buy the Mets? I don't know.
I'm very woke on that. So there was a story that came out on Friday that it was like in the New York Post that said A-Rod is interested in buying the Mets now that it's not going to be that Cohen guy.
Yeah. So I guarantee you it's just like one of A-Rod's associates.
And A-Rod was like, hey, tell the New York Post that I'm interested so that people will think that i'm capable of i could be the scout i could be a scout i'd probably get a job in in baseball ops you've got the um the fashion sense of a scout yeah just show up with a toby bahama shirt be like hey guys a straw hat i'll go uh to like shitty cities and not shitty cities but you know cities that maybe are not big time cities across America. Minor league cities across America.
Watch people throw fastballs. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.
Eat a lot of hot dogs behind the plate. And write things on my notepad.
Doodle on my notepad. I am definitely scout material.
Wear a safari-style helmet. Yeah, you've got the glasses.
I feel like those off yellow glasses, that's a perfect scout thing.

Yeah.

So, all right.

So speaking of that, baseball is still in the news.

The story that will never go away because it's somehow every single time someone steps

in front of a camera or a microphone to talk about the Houston Astros, they make it significantly

worse.

So we had Carlos Correa get in front of a video camera and basically say, Cody Bellinger needs to get some facts and come back and see me, the Jim Calhoun. And then Rob Bamford.
He said that's his job. Yeah.
Cody Bellinger's job is to go collect facts. So the Astros are now getting a little testy.
They're starting to get a little upset that everyone else is throwing this around at them. I think they're also at the point.
They're pre-mad.

Well, no. I think they're at the point where they're like,

we know other teams cheated

too, so keep pushing it

and we're going to start airing out some shit.

Start naming names. I think, well, they're definitely

getting pre-mad because Dusty Baker was saying

that MLB needs to step in

and do something about the fact that

other teams are going to throw at the Houston

Astros. He's like, I've got to protect my guys.

But no one's thrown at him yet.

He's pre-mad. He's putting it out

Thank you. do something about the fact that other teams are going to throw at the Houston Astros.
Right. He's like, I got to protect my guys.
But no one's thrown at him yet. Right.
It's just he's pre-mad. He's putting it out there.
Dusty, it's a weird position that he's in because he didn't have anything to do with it, but he's going to have to deal with all the repercussions from it. Yes.
And I can't think of a better manager, like a more quotable manager to be dealing with this. It's going to be great.
And then Rob Manfred, the commissionerfred the commissioner made it even worse like really really worse by getting in front of reporters and saying the idea of an asterisk or asking for a piece of metal back talking about the world series trophy seems like a futile act people will always know that something was different about the 2017 season and whether we made that decision right or wrong, we undertook a thorough investigation and had the intestinal fortitude. Whoa.
Way to have the guts, Rob. Do you have it? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
Intestinal fortitude to share the results of that investigation. Wow.
Good job, baseball. He had the balls to show the investigation.
And then... He had the balls to release a report.
And then he said, so he called the World Series trophy a piece of metal. Which is not true.
It's actually like 17 pieces of metal. Most dangerous.
Strung together by other tiny pieces of metal wiring. The worst trophy, most dangerous trophy in all sports.
And then he also said, when asked about the notion that anyone in the Astros organization has avoided punishment, he said that they have been hurt by this and will be faced with questions of what happened in 2017 and 18 for the rest of their lives. That's true.
So their punishment is actually yet to really manifest itself. He also essentially deputized and drafted every single journalist and person on Twitter into the punishment war against the Houston Astros by saying, like, the fans that will

not let you forget this, that's going to be your punishment.

So in order to keep up our end of the bargain, we have to become relentless cyber bullies.

It's crazy.

And just troll the shit out of the Astros for the next 10 years.

Until every single member of that 2017 team is off the roster, we must not let them forget. It's insane.
The whole thing is so poorly run, poorly handled, and we're at a point now where the questions, hard questions, are the real punishment of World Series. I actually went into this whole thing being like, I don't care but the worse the the more they talk the more angry I get and how stupid they are and how they're basically making it seem like nothing really happened even though it's very clear it was blatant cheating and really bad cheating the banner that they hang should just be in the shape of an asterisk yes let them keep the banner but just cut a few pieces out of it.
And then Altuve got dragged through this because there was a lot of chatter about his embarrassing tattoo. Unfinished tattoo.
Saying that that's why he didn't want to have his shirt ripped off. Right.
It's because he was embarrassed about his tattoo that wasn't finished yet. Which, I don't know if he has any tattoos, but I guess every tattoo is an unfinished tattoo.
Like, I have a ton of unfinished tattoos. Yeah.
They haven't been started either. My body is one giant unfinished tattoo.
The whole thing. Hank actually has an unfinished tattoo, right? Yeah.
It's crazy. Like, it's so fucking stupid how they've dealt with it.
They should tattoo an asterisk on all those players. Every single one of them, on their face.
Yeah. Like in the end of Inglorious Bastards.
Yes, exactly. Tattoo it with a hunting knife.
Everywhere you go. Brad Pitt has to do it while doing a weird southern Italian accent.
Also, I had a question. Where the hell is Justin Verlander? He's another one who always will speak up about baseball news, baseball stories.
Very vocal on Twitter. He's been nowhere.
Well, he's not vocal because he's always choking. And he wasn't even on that 2017 team.
Yeah, he was.

Was he?

Yeah.

Yes.

He didn't play well in the World Series, though, right?

He went winless.

That's what happened.

Yeah, he went winless in that World Series.

Yeah, he was definitely on that team.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

I was just thinking about him never winning a World Series game,

which is something that people don't discuss.

But so the Astros, I don't even know.

I mean, it's ridiculous that they have not punished them at all.

Like, the players need...

I can't believe I'm here that I'm actually passionate about this,

but I think they should be punished.

Yeah.

And I don't want to be...

I don't give a fuck.

I love hearing the phrase death penalty get thrown around.

Like, maybe just give...

SMU.

Yeah.

Give the Houston Astros the death penalty.

Did you see the Little League in California?

Yes.

The Little League in California that's... They're banning the Team Astros in all Little Leagues.
I love it. I love it.
You know what? I'm not going to say the word Astros. Okay.
It's got generic profanity inside the name already, but it's no longer allowed on my page. Yeah.
I mean, this story will not die. You know what Altuve should do? He should say, like, no, it wasn't a tattoo tattoo i was just embarrassed because i had a ton of bacne from all the steroids i was taking right reframe the conversation type of cheating i was cheating i was cheating by ingesting substances the cheating that's allowed yeah now if you get a buzzer implanted in your skin is that cheating no because it's part of your body if you get a buzzer tattoo yeah that's part of your body that's what he should have done you also see the guy who uh buffalo wild wings great sponsor of ours we love it they had a nice roasting of the astros which they're supposed to do because rob manford told us that's what we're supposed to do uh some guy responded and cut up his gift card that he got for christmas that'll show him that'll show the money's already been spent yeah then now buffalo Wild Wings doesn't have to give you food for it.
More for me. He also probably, knowing that guy, he definitely wrote down the number and is going to still go get it.
Because you can't resist Buffalo Wild Wings. Maybe it was just a printout of paper that he cut off.
No, it was a hard card. That was his big gift.
He definitely got a $200 gift card. It should be illegal to do that.
It should be protected in the same sense that we protect money. It's a hate crime.
And the American flag. You should not be allowed to desecrate a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card.
I take personal offense to that. Yeah, so that's what's going on with the Astros.
It really will not die. And someone will say something else, and they'll start getting hit a bunch, and they deserve to get hit a bunch.
And I don't know. If they had just suspended some of these players for 50 games or something, whatever it may be, it probably would have somewhat gone away.
They didn't do anything correctly, and it's just going to keep lingering. You know what I would do if I was the Astros? I would sign a professional MMA fighter to my team.
Just rush them out? Yeah, just be like, hey, if you hit our guys, John Bones Jones is going to come out there and beat the shit out of you. They should get some goons.
They should get some absolute goons. They should get some big ass goons.
Get Bartolo back. Put him in the bullpen.
He'll just come out and just start jumping on people. Sign Tebow.
Yokozuna. Just just have a designated hitter, but hitter as in somebody to get hit.
Don't try to get Tebow. To get hit.
I'm saying somebody that would just be there to get hit. To get hit and just run at people.
Yeah. All right.
We'll be good at that. So you can watch barstoolgold.com slash PMT.
The other story, we had All-Star Weekend in Chicago. I was back in Chicago.
It was a good time. The dunk contest was actually more fun than I thought it would be live.
So I went. I enjoyed it.
But there was controversy because Dwayne Wade, I think what it comes down to is Dwayne Wade knows that classic heat versus magic. This state's only big enough for one of us.
That took over, and that's why he had Aaron Gordon not win. The rivalry is back on.
Yeah, it truly is one of the fiercest rivalries in all sports. The Heat vs.
Magic. Now, is that the only rivalry in the NBA involving two teams whose names don't end in an S? Who? Jazz? Yeah.
Who are the Jazz rivals with? The jazz don't have... The jazz and fans that have just general decency.
That doesn't add an ass. That's true.
Yeah, jazz and profanity. Yeah, jazz and being normal human beings.
P-words. Yeah, that's a big rivalry.
Yeah, the heat and the magic. Yeah, so Dwayne Wade, you could see him doing the math in his head, trying to figure out how to fuck him over.
And by the way, I just want to go to this party. I'd like to say that Dwayne Wade was looking very fresh.
Oh, yeah. He looked like one of those XFL cartoons.
Yes. But if they tried to draw Marvin Gaye, they were.
Everyone was looking great. It was a it's a sight to behold, like the whole all star festivities and stuff.
I went to Michael Jordan's party, which when I say that, it seems cool, but it was a warehouse. This is literally Michael Wilbon's name.
And I saw MJ walk by, and then he disappeared. Michael? You saw him walk by? Yeah, I saw him walk by, but it was like 2,000 people were there, so it was a big warehouse.
Into the crowd. It was fun watching people try to get into his VIP area and just get kicked out.
Uh-huh. Because no one's allowed to go near him.
So that was a good time. But yeah.
Ooh, look. Jon Stewart's courtside.
It was a big come up for the Chicago flag this weekend. Very underrated flag.
Oh, yeah. One of the best.
I love the Chicago flag and seeing it pop up everywhere this weekend was a nice little treat. Now, how about jumping over Taco? Awesome.
That was pretty great. That's why.
I mean, Aaron Gordon not winning from that. I really do think someone should have pandered and done the jump man from the free throw line.
I feel like that would have won no matter what. But maybe nobody can do it.
Which is crazy to me. Because I was watching, like, Derek Johnson, when he was doing some of these dunks, I was thinking, like, what if someone did this in, this in 1992? People would lose their mind.
Yeah. Because they make it so effortless.
And they're so insane. They'd lose their mind because Taco Fall would be one year old.
Well, yeah. And he wouldn't be that tall.
So I would be like, why'd you have a baby on there? He jammed on this baby. He should have won for that.
The only reply to that is you got to dunk an actual taco into Guy Fieri's mouth. Yes.
He was courtside too for that. Oh, yeah.
Guy Fieri's huge. He's everywhere.
So I saw Guy Fieri at this party on Friday. I'm pretty sure he has a Warriors ring, and I'm pretty sure he's wearing it.
Yeah. It doesn't surprise me.
I don't know how it happened, but it looked like he was wearing an NBA championship ring I mean like and really

like not one of the fake ones that fans get I'm talking a real ring I think you have to give Guy Fieri credit for your championship no every team that one gift where he popped up yeah every team no matter what city you're in should recognize the greatness of that's such a hilarious flex to have nothing to do with the organization and be rocking a championship ring so and then Jared Jarrett Carabas.

Yeah, Jarrett Carabas.

Well, the rocket had a lot to do with that, right?

I would say as much as Guy. As much as Guy.
So we're watching the game right now. It's in the third quarter, and the scoring really is so stupid how they did this.
So, so bad. Every quarter is a new game, right? Yeah.
But it is for charity, so you can't. You can't say anything bad.
It's like the decision with LeBron.

Can't say anything bad.

It's for charity.

And, yeah, so it was a good weekend.

We had a big event, an NBA Jam tournament at Joe's on Weed.

So thank you, everyone, who came out.

It was a fucking awesome time.

I forgot how much fun that game is.

Like, I could play it forever.

I'd like to take my hat off to the officials in this game.

They called it travel in the All-Star game. Really? I thought that was against the rules to actually play by the rules.
Yes. In this game.
Especially in this game. I love being the person on Twitter that's talking trash about how frustrating it is that they don't play defense in the All-Star game.
Yeah. How dare they? Oh my god.
You know what? I prefer I like a nice little Dayton Xavier college basketball game where the kids actually care. Yeah.
Also, I don't know how it happened, but fire guard packs got trending, so it seems like people, good weekend, good showing by everyone. Did you see that clip, though, on Friday? I think it was Get Up, and everyone started chanting it, and then Molly Kiram quieted everyone down, and don't know why they listened but the TV person was like don't say fire guard packs it's Valentine's Day don't insult me by asking me if I saw Get Up of course I saw Get Up on Friday or it wasn't Get Up it was first take Stephen A.
Smith was fucking wet with his jumper. He also did an event.
I don't know

where it was. I heard the rumor.
I don't know if it actually

happened where you could go to a bar and

debate him. Fuck.
There's a fuck

a fan. God damn it.
Yeah.

How come we were not informed? I heard about it.

I would have taken the first

flight. It would have been incredible matter of the cost.

It would have been incredible. What would you debate Stephen A.
Smith?

I think I would go. I would go.
Des caught it.

I would go. He would get mad about that.
Ass versus titties. Yeah.
Hey, a big set of titties walks in. You telling me you're not looking, Steven? You're looking, Steven.
Yeah, come on, man. But yeah, he's so...
God damn it, he's so funny. He's so funny.
So he was coaching the celebrity team, right? Yes. And he did the fake...
He looked like doing the feint Yes Out there, but for a second I thought Since he works 25 hours a day He might actually just be feigning of exhaustion Yes You know what? They really fucked up They really fucked this up Because how amazing would it have been To have Stephen A. Smith coach one team And Skip Bayless coach the other It would have been great Skip's team been trash.
Skip would have... No, he can't lose in his Jordans every single day.
That's true. Let's do our Who's Back of the Week.
Hank, why don't you start? My Who's Back of the Week is the Mason Rudolph Miles Garrett beef. Miles Garrett did an interview with Mina Kimes last week or the other day or whatever and he again alleged that Mason Rudolph said a racial slur prior to the brawl, which is what got him to go crazy.
Redskin? Mason Rudolph replied and said it's 1,000% false. It's a bold-faced lie.
I did not, have not, and would not utter a racial slur. This is a disgusting and reckless attempt to assassinate my character.
So, much like the Astros story, this is like the football story that's just never going to go i i'm not which is crazy because the nfl should just they have to have they've got audio they know they've got audio i'm not i'm not going to believe that somebody isn't a racist until they use the phrase like i don't care if you're black white purple yellow orange red until they start naming all the different colors right i how can i how can i even trust he's not racist? Yeah. If he hasn't even, that's the bare minimum that you can say.
Yeah. Once you use the word purple and in defense of you not being racist, at that point, I'm like, you win.
Racism over. So my question is, does he sue? If he's that confident, he should.
Well, but he also, Mason Rudolph. So let's say he didn't say anything.
Wait, does he sue? Mason Rudolph. Would sue being like, this is slander, whatever, libel, I can't remember which one it is.
Slibel. Slibel.
Would he sue? But the problem is he's still trying to be an NFL quarterback even though we all know he isn't. Right.
So I feel like he might sue after he's out of the league. Well, there are a couple things at play here.
One, there's the punchable bitch face defense where you just show a jury, a glossy 8x10 of Mason Rudolph, and they're like, yeah, I'm going to go with Miles on this one. The second is the NFLPA has basically a built-in don't be a loser clause in their contract, which is you're not allowed to sue a player for something that happens on the field.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
I like that clause. It's just like don't be a dork.
Right, right. Don't be a narc.
Just try to be cool, dude. Yeah, be cool, Mason.
Just fucking chill out. So, yeah, that story's never going to go away, and it kind of sucks.
Well, it is because Mason Rudolph's going to be out of the NFL soon. That's true.
Because he stinks. So if you're Mason Rudolph and you didn't say that, it really sucks for you right now.
Right. Because you can't prove that you didn't say it unless the audio's out there.
But the fact that... I feel like there should be audio.
There should be. I'm very woke on that.
I think that the NFL might have deleted something. Okay.
Stay very woke on that. So you think he did say it then? No, I have no idea.
I think that the NFL... But they wouldn't delete it

if he didn't say anything.

I just...

Listen, I'm going all over the place

with my conspiracy theories,

but I think the NFL had audio

because you'll remember

they have audio that they play

like every Tuesday on Showtime

on Inside the NFL.

Right.

And their excuse was

they have a guy who pushes a button

to stop recording in between plays. Right.
And that guy doesn't exist. Right.
So. So I don't know.
Okay. Hank, is that your only who's back? Who's back? Yeah.
Yes. Okay.
PFT, who's your who's back? My who's back is Tim Tebow. Nice.
It's Tebow time, baby. Tim Tebow reported to training camp.
He's back in a big way. He addressed the media.
He's not going away. He's not letting the baseball dream die just yet.
The Mets need to call him up if the Astros don't bring him up earlier to get hit by pitches. I'm very, very excited about Tebow getting into a major league baseball game this year.
Yeah, that's not going to happen. He said there was an article that was written about him.
It's going to be a seminal moment. I feel like he first started trying to be a pro player right when this podcast started and he's not even close no no closer than he was the first day he's a better baseball player than michael jordan that's all i know at this point but you still he still is not going to make major league baseball i'm sick of him like taking up our space taking up a roster spot no taking up our brain space oh i'm not go be on sec network i'm never sick of tim te, taking up our brain space.
Oh, I'm not. Go be on SEC Network.
I'm never sick of Tim Tebow taking up my brain space. So, there was an article written about him today.
This is a take quick right here. They called him the most famous baseball player in the world.
Agree or disagree? Discuss. I disagree, yeah.
I disagree. You don't think so? No, he's not.
No. Mike Trout.
Who would get recognized by Colin Coward in a mall faster,

Mike Trout or Tim Tebow?

Bryce Harper probably is more famous.

I mean, like, dead or retired or, I mean, Derek Cheater, Alex Rodriguez.

Like, there's a lot of baseball players that are not.

You're making some compelling arguments here.

Yeah.

I just like every now and again, an NFL writer likes to just flex their muscles by being like, like you're doing right now. That's not a play that's not in our sport would be it's doing what we do to handball.
Right. Except to to professional baseball.
But he's just been playing baseball for four years now and just sucks. Correct.
My other who's back of the week is U.S. soccer.
So U.S. soccer is back.
I don't know if you saw this, but last week, Claudio Reina, Claudio Reina's son scored a goal for Dortmund. So he's going to be like a superstar over in Germany.
Basically, all our best players in the United States play over in Germany for a period of time. It's like a reverse Operation Paperclip thing where we send them all our stars.
They get big over there, get a passport, and then they eventually play for Germany later. And they come back.
By the way, we're going to talk about the XFL in segments, but we should do that for the XFL where it's like soccer, like Tom Brady retires and he goes and plays XFL when he's like 45. A retirement tour.
Yeah, like Beckham comes and plays for the Galaxy or wherever he played for. I like that.
That would be cool. I like that.
Okay, my who's back. I got two.
Tim Crouchin is back. I don't know if you guys saw this.
He's online. He made his first tweet since his back I don't know if you guys saw this he's online he made his first tweet since September I don't know why it was to me and it was replying to the XFL Cup Snake and he wrote I in loopy O oil that's like a that's a Bubba tweet right there that's a Friday night 1am what the fuck how did Han he's like and then he issued an apology where he said sorry like four times saying I don't know how to use Twitter.

But how is that his first tweet since September?

Timmy K probably.

I love him.

Yeah, I love him too.

He probably uses a flip phone.

Actually, Tim Kirkson probably is the only person who still uses the ESPN phone from like 2002.

Right.

And so his T9 thumbs are all messed up.

I in loopy O oil. I in Loopy O oil.

I in Loopy O oil.

Okay, so let's break that down.

I think he wants me to oil him up.

I think he wants you to rub him down a little bit.

Yeah.

What's O oil?

I don't know.

Oregano oil?

I don't know.

Some sort of...

Olive oil.

Olive oil.

Selling...

No, it's olive oil.

Yeah.

I...

He's...

He would say E-V-O-O.

He's Loopy because he's been drinking too much olive oil.

I am loopy because of olive oil.

Because I drank olive oil.

Yeah, he's drunk off olive oil.

I had a drunk thought on Friday about olive oil, actually.

Yeah?

The character, the cartoon character.

Olive oil, Popeye's love interest.

Yep.

Is she the ugliest love interest in the history of cartoons? there's nothing that gets me going about olive oil at all we're really dating ourselves she's got like reverse who else would be all to be running for this who would be in the running I don't know just basically olive oil yeah I can't think of anyone else off the top okay grossest grossest female lead in a No, what about... Goes to olive oil.
Oh, yeah. I was thinking, like, what about...
Bruno would break that in half. Yeah, I can't say I remember a lot of Popeye.
Yeah, imagine taking a back shot from olive oil. It stinks like shit.
Just Popeyes and just spinach farts. All right, my other who's back is badgers.
Not the badgers I root for, but badgers the animal because there was a report that President Trump is obsessed with badgers. So the headline will be a reread a headline.
It said, are they mean? Donald Trump obsessed with Badger's new book claims?

Daily Beast reporters say Reince Priebus was repeatedly asked about the rotund, hairy omnivores during briefings on health care and foreign policy.

Yeah.

So we're fucking back.

So Reince Priebus, who, by the way, his name sounds like somebody that Brooks Koepka would absolutely hate. Yes.
He is from Wisconsin. Okay.
Oh. So Trump, when he learns something about you, he'll associate that with you.
And then he just zeroed in on badgers for him. He's badgers.
Which, I mean, if you're talking about Wisconsin, that's probably the coolest thing you can do. Yeah.
But that's just so funny to be like, what's up with badgers? Yeah, well, he is a big fan of wildlife. You remember he was obsessed with the Gorilla Channel? Yes.
So badgers are a pretty cool animal to worry about. Badgers have made it to the White House.
Yeah. There it is.
That's fucking huge. Alright, let's...
You think he's gonna corner Tyran Matthew when he gets there for the Chief's visit? Yeah. Yes, for sure.
Tell me about honey badgers. Yeah, give it it to me give it to me um all right let's get to joe kim noah before we do when your home system or appliance breaks down american home shield will help fix or replace the covered item no matter its age visit ahs.com slash listen for 20 off any plan see ahs.com slash contracts, limitations, and exclusions.
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That's GetRoman.com slash take. And now, Noah.
Joe Keen. all right we we now welcome on a very special guest, one of my favorite basketball players of all time.
It's Joe Keen Noah, heart and soul of Chicago Bulls. Thanks, bro.
Legend. He's also got, I don't know what you brought, but we're going to put it in our drink.
This is a coconut solution. What is it? Explain that.
Laird Superfood, you know, hungover from the streets. Put a little coconut hydrate in your drink.
I'm telling you, it works. Where can you buy this? You can find it.
You find it online. Laird Superfood.
You find it. You do what you gotta do.
You find it. You find it.
Laird Superfood. So we got that and then we got a creamer.
Unbelievable. For coffee?

A superfood creamer with all the best mushrooms.

Delicious.

Performance mushrooms.

We're not playing around.

Let's go check it out.

Can I snort this to get hydrated?

No, no, no.

No?

Okay.

So here's the thing.

Big Cat and I, we're on day number five of our hangover, I think.

So I want to be not hungover anymore by the end of this podcast interview. Yeah will happen hopefully all right starting now yes exactly all right shake it up shake it up so Joakim thank you for joining us we got to start with the most obvious question are you retired I am not retired so let's get you on a team I know you got something for me well what teams you want to go on I would love to have you back on the bulls but I'm going to ask you some questions in this interview that will probably make it so you can't go back on the Bulls.
Listen, you can ask me whatever you want. Okay, so for how long was Tom Thibodeau's office bugged by management? Oh, shit.
You're going right away. Yeah, well, you just said I could ask anything.
We're not fucking around. Look, shit got real.bs is tibbs is the best man tibbs is a a warrior somebody who you know we were we were so close and you know and you know the injuries kind of derailed derailed things a little bit you know um but you know i look back at those years and maybe we were right there and i got nothing but love for all those guys.
If there was a bug, whatever. That's not what it's about.
For me, it's all, I just look at the good and Tibbs helped us get there. So we were almost at the promised land.
It didn't go down. Bug or no bug.
We love you, Tibbs. So it's interesting because the Tibbs-era Bulls, there was always the idea that he might have pushed guys too hard during the regular season, so then you get to the playoffs and you don't have everything.
Load management has become a big thing in the NBA. But you've always said he pushed you exactly how...
Without him you wouldn't have been the player that you were i mean but we were we were i mean you know it's easy to look back now you know with the injuries and and talk shit about you know what didn't go well but the truth is we were right there We almost got the chip

If it wasn't for the injuries

I mean in my mind

You think that year when

Game one against the Sixers

Round one

You think if Derrick Rose doesn't go down

That's it

I think we're holding the trophy up

You were the best team in the league that year

We got the trophy

In my mind still to this day

There's no question nobody was fucking with us

That hurts me

Thank you. the trophy up.
You were the best team in the league that year. We got the trophy.
In my mind, in my mind still to this day,

there's no question nobody was fucking with us.

That hurts me.

Would you say that you're

in the best shape

of your life right now?

If you just say that,

that'll be a headline

and then people,

like GM,

you see that.

Did you see the Instagram

he posted the other day?

I am in.

Oh my God.

I'm physical.

I'm physical.

Are you physical?

I'm physical.

Would you say more physical

than you've ever been? I mean, I've been physical before. I'm trying to help you, man.
I am more physical and in the best shape of my life. Listen, I wasn't drinking hydrate, Laird Superfood hydrate back then, I'll tell you that.
Yeah. That's true.
That's true. So that's a leg up over, like you've got the technology on your side now.
Exactly. Have you given any consideration? Actually, parlez-vous français? Grave, je parle français.
Okay, I'll ask this in code. Je voudrais vous jouer en New Zealand.
Oh, you want me to? Not bad. Matt Walsh? Not great.
Shout out to Matt Walsh. You know Matt Walsh well.
Matt Walsh, you know. That's my boy.
Florida Alums. Uh-huh.
Yeah're part owners. We, we, all that.
We're part owners. Bonbons.
In the breakers. Bonbons.
You want us to sign you? We can sign you right now. We have the power to sign you for the breakers.
We're part owners. How much? Can I call Sean Marion real quick? You got side deals? Let's see.
Yeah. What's the side deals? We're paying you or are you paying us? Oh, shit.
Well, you got a lot more money than us. Okay.
So, wait. What? He's probably not going to sign with us if he has to pay us.
All right. So, we'll pay you.
We'll make money off him if he's on our team. We'll pay you whatever you want.
$100 a rebound. Not good enough? Okay.
All right. We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out. We'll sign you.'ll sign you you can play I mean anytime you want you know that already though you're you're friends with Matt Walsh you can call him up and just that's my guy go to New Zealand just dominate we could also go on vacation that's true yeah and dominate vacation yeah and dominate vacation um do you still hate Cleveland I mean mean, it's just, yeah.
Greatest press conference ever. Did anyone go to Cleveland for vacation? Yeah.
No. I really don't like being in Cleveland.
Sorry. Sorry for saying I don't like being in Cleveland.
Have you been to the casino there? Never. Okay, that's probably's really it's real i've only been yeah i've only been harassed for my money and my winnings at that casino like 60 percent of the time that i've been there yeah so it's uh yeah they lapse in security a little bit they also have a nice buffalo wild wings downtown oh yeah i'm into buffalo and they get a lake you can can't swim in.
They got a lake, a river.

Are we selling this?

What's your least favorite NBA city to visit,

and what's your favorite? Take out Chicago and New York, where you played.

Least favorite, obviously, Cleveland.

Yep, guaranteed.

My favorite, you know, underrated, I like New Orleans.

Yeah?

You know, I like, you know, if there's a day off yeah you know i like you know if there's a day off you know just cruise through bourbon street like i'm i'm cool with that right you know some people speaking french you know it's just i i like the vibe over there it's just everybody's lit yeah we were actually just talking about you you being lit in new york big k you had like some quote that you saw right right? Yeah, you said that your time in New York didn't work because you were too lit. Quote, too lit.
Yeah. What does that mean? Okay, I'm happy we can talk about this because it's hard when somebody just takes that little quote and just runs with it.
You know, I was hurt. So what else do you want me to do? I mean, you guys are not playing me ever.

I'm like, can I get five minutes?

I'm busting my ass over here.

No, sorry, you're not going to play ever.

So, yeah, I'm in New York City.

I'm getting paid.

Like, what do you want me to do?

Sorry, I was lit.

Your hands were tied.

Like, either play me or I'm going to go get lit.

Yes.

I mean, that seems like a fair trade.

No, but honestly, there was a lot going on. It was tough.
It was a tough time. Yeah.
Um, you know, there was nothing more I wanted than to, you know, be healthy and be able to produce, you know, but, um, it's, it's disappointing because I wanted to, to bring something to, to my hometown. Uh, it didn't work out for for a lot of reasons.
But, yeah, it's definitely a – I would say even though, like, I made a lot of money there, it was definitely, like, it was a dark time. It was not a good time in my life for sure.
Right. Did you – how many times did you go see James Dolan's band? Zero.
Zero. Maybe that's why it was such a dark time.

You would have gotten more minutes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just if you're front row, are you a musician?

No.

If you were front row just nodding your head.

That's not my style, man.

I'm not doing that.

You're not going to go to his concert?

No, I'm not going to his concert.

Do you regret the goofy peace sign that you gave at draft night?

No, that was a good time.

That was a hilarious all-time draft picture.

Peace sign, cheesing.

I was hype.

Are you kidding me?

White suit.

What?

I'm in New York City, get drafted by the Chicago Bulls.

I mean, I was on fire.

The streets were lit.

Yes.

We were not playing around.

Is that where you wanted to go?

Yeah, 100%.

Thank you. I mean, I was on fire.
The streets were lit. Yes.
We were not playing around. Is that where you wanted to go? Yeah, 100%.
I didn't work out for a couple teams that were ahead of the Bulls because I wanted to make sure that we were going to the Bulls. Someone just brought in.
Did you ask for that? Okay. Now that's what I'm talking about.
Thanks, guys. So now, you know, okay, now we're talking about some real deep stuff.
We got the cream. Now we're going to put some of this superfood creamer in the coffee so you guys know that not only are you putting superfoods in your coffee, but you're going to see how good this shit tastes.
I like this. I like this.
What kind of superfoods is that? Throw it in there. So a lot of functional mushrooms.
Huh. What you know about functional mushrooms? Mushroom tea.
I don't. Yeah.
The mushrooms I've had before have not been functional. Well, sometimes different type of functional.
Sometimes they're enhancing. Yeah, I would say.
Right. Oh, these are enhancing.
Oh. Maybe go look at art somewhere? Not art, not art.
Can we put some music on after we... Trust me.
Just try it. Do you guys trust me? Yes, I trust you.
Okay, trust you. I trust you 100%.
Okay. Absolutely.
I trust you with my life. Okay, so we're going to put a lot of this stuff in.
Oh, geez. That's a lot of mushrooms.
That's a lot of mushrooms. We're not micro-dosing over here, I'll tell you that.
No, we're macro-dosing. There we go.
All right, so Joe Kim, I got some more Bulls questions for you that I need some answers to.

How hype were you when Carlos Boozer would say, get that or hold that?

Hold that.

First of all, I want you guys to know the story of the whole lat.

Okay.

Because shout-out to Nate Robinson and and shout out to Carlos Boozer. The whole lat came from me.
And they ran with my shit. But I love them to death.
So, you know, I'm sorry for putting that out on Barstool. But it's the truth.
Right. But you know what?

Those are my guys.

And I remember being on the bus with them and being like,

yo, guys, you guys just blatantly just took my shit and branded it.

And I remember Carlos being on the bus like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You say hold that. you say hold that we say hold that it's like vanilla ice yeah exactly yeah exactly but would that get you hype when you just scream it because he would scream it get that joe yeah no there's man those are man we were competitive fuckers we We weren't fucking around.
We were grimy.

And you know what?

I got nothing but love for those guys, man.

Boost Cruz, baby.

Those were good times.

Those were good times, man.

What about the famous hair that Carlos had?

We've had him on the show.

We've asked him.

But from a teammate perspective.

What did he say?

What did he say?

I think he said that he went to, he was, I think it was in boston and he went to a barber that he'd never gone to before and the guy just started doing it and they fucked up and he pushed you polish on that yeah so what from you from your perspective he walks into the locker room that day do you did you just laugh in his face or just pretend like hey we got to have his confidence? We're just going to tell him he got a good haircut, good shoe polish. Holy shit, that shit was crazy.
That shit was fucked up. But, I mean, I don't even know what to say.
I remember, you know, going into practice and just, you know, I think we were in layup lines or something in practice, just warming up. And everybody just was dying laughing.
He was pretending not to know why. But you know what? He's a soldier, man.
Just to be able to go out there with that and just hold your own. I was like, yo, not everybody could do that.
Not be in the lights like that with, anyway. I love those.
Shout out to Carlos Buzzi. Did you ever get any shit from your teammates about the side spin foul shot? I mean, that's my whole life.
Yeah. That's my whole life.
I love that shot. Your shot is whack, but it goes in.
No, wait. Don't say the W word.
mean it is You know it is It is It's not whack My shit is wet Not whack It's wet Sometimes it can get wet Yes Yes But you know when it comes out You're like this is This is wet You watched it back And you're like oof That's it I mean yo What the fuck It goes in Sometimes you miss Sometimes you fucking hit, you got to let them know. Yes.
Yes. The pistols, which you actually retired, but the pistols.
They're coming back. They are? They're coming back.
Bring them back. I'll say this about the sidespin shot.
It's a benefit to your team because when you miss, when there's a rebound, it bounces off differently than a normal shot would and gives you a better chance at offensive rebound. So your misses are worth more.
I don't know about all that. All I know is when I do hit, though, how devastating it is for the other team.
It's just like I see it all the time. Honestly, I like hitting a mid-range jumper more than a dunk or anything.
It's just like it's so demoralizing. to watch something so ugly go in yes yeah right no i agree because everyone's like yo give him that let him shoot that and then it goes in you're like wait fuck i shouldn't let him shoot that whole less it's true that is true when that goes in it's it's way worse than like a dunk on someone you're like damn i want to make sure that we right.
Let that go in. When it's you, is it holat? Holat.
Or when it's Boozer. H-O-L-D-A-T.
Holat. Yeah.
Which one is which? Which one gets holat? Which one gets holat? I thought it was holat the whole time. But Boozer kind of tried to trademark his shit, you know? That's the story.
Okay, so it's holat with your students. He's Holat.
I'm Hold That. Hold That.
Okay, got it. Could you please hold on to this for me? Yes, exactly.
That's what you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly. Right, right, right, right.
What about, do you hate LeBron as much as we do? No. But? Ibron it's just i think it's it's just a little i mean

i'm just a i'm just competitive yeah and the fucking guy just beat us to win championships

for years and like everybody just thinks that i just hate i don't hate anybody i don't i'm my

life is good you know i'm saying i'm not i'm not hating i'm just i'm just pissed when i lose

Thank you. that I just hate.
I don't hate anybody. My life is good.
You know what I'm saying? I'm not hating. I'm just pissed when I lose.
Well, I always appreciated that from a fan's perspective. It always felt like you cared.
It's weird. As fans, you watch your sports teams, and you just want them to care as much as you do, like an irrational care, and it felt like you always did like there was animosity when you were in a big series when you were fighting against guys like you didn't want to be friends you didn't want to be buddy buddy you wanted to kill them there you go and i love that about you there you go yeah so i appreciate that thank you god damn it those games that that man i mean i just wish we had more battles against him when we were healthy because in my mind I really felt like we really had a shot.
Fuck, man. Fuck.
It still fucking bothers me. Which one bothers you the most? The Eastern Conference final one was you guys were on the upswing.
it was like this is gonna last for a while they beat us in the eastern conference finals 4-1 yeah but if you put all the scores together from that 4-1 series on a score was fucking tied yes so that's how close the shit that's how close the shit was you know and then the next year that's the year that D rose you know i i really felt like we had a better team we were the number one team in the league you know and we were coming at everybody's neck and it just you know um derrick got hurt um and actually you know we were i got hurt that year too and i mean i don if we would have – we definitely wouldn't have won the championship, but we would have busted a lot of teams' ass that were coming up next. Yeah.
If you know what I'm saying. That – the other one that killed me was the Cleveland series when D.
Rose hit the shot. That was the end of those games.
Yeah, yes. I went to all three of those home games at the United Center.
And LeBron did his fake ankle injury and then hit the game winner. Remember that? And it was just, that one really stuck.
That was a dagger. Because that one felt like you guys had him on the ropes.
That was the end of that era. Can we talk positive ones, though? Positive playoff memories? Yeah.
Personally, the Nets series. Yeah, fuck, that was amazing.
When everyone got hurt, Luol Deng almost dang almost died yeah he did yeah he it was literally had a spinal tap and was dead in the hospital and you had 24 and i think 14 in game seven basically put the whole team on your back what was that like when you switched when all the injuries kind of started to pile up and it was there was that stretch where you were guy. Like, it was your team.
I mean, that was probably the highlight of my career, just being able to come home and play in a game seven. I was coming off.
I had plantar fasciitis for like a couple months. I was fucked up.
Shout out to Fabrice Gauthier, one of the best osteopaths in the game, just came in. Shout out Fabrice.
Shout out Fabrice. Ended up doing some stuff with my ankle.
And the next thing you know, I was able to play. I hadn't played two months before that series.
And then a couple weeks later, it's game seven, and I'm playing at home. And I had the best game of my career so um that was that was actually a a dope time I mean actually we played Miami then I remember it's game six we lose game six in Chicago and um we have to pack our bags to for game seven in Brooklyn and I remember Tibbs coming in the locker room.

You know, everybody's pissed off.

It was a closed game.

I don't know if it was OT or not, but it was a closed game. And he goes, pack your bags and bring some fucking shorts

because we're going to Miami right after.

I was like, yeah, yeah, let's go.

You know, so we were hyped because, you know, it's win or go home.

Right. It's win or go home.
And I remember we had to bring our Miami shit too. So we were ready.
Our mindset was right. Was it game six against the Celtics when you had that dunk? Yes.
That was a good time too. On Paul Pierce's neck.
That series was crazy. On his neck.
That was Ben Gordon. BG.
Shout out Ben Gordon. I mean, insane.
When you're talking about all these teams, I can sense that you still get back into the competitive mode. Like, you still don't look at your opponents, like, fondly.
Like, oh yeah, me and Paul Pierce, we had a good time playing against each other. No.
So, like, that is always going to stick with you. Like, if they were an opponent of yours, when you flash back to that, you just want to step it was it was worse before because i couldn't even be around my i couldn't i was so competitive that i couldn't even be around you know people i was competing against you know and then as i got you know now I's i don't i don't i don't feel i'm still i'm still like that but it's also like all right you know keep that between the lines and then when it's over just it's cool this you know this is like just keep it basketball and then after back there's on the court and there's off the court don't be competitive just with everything in life because that'll fuck you up too.

Yeah.

What about your three-point shot?

What about it?

Have you been working on it?

Because that's another way that we could get you back.

Just say that you've been working on your three-point shot.

I'm a stretch four.

Uh-huh.

You're a stretch four.

There you go.

Stretch four, ready to come back in.

Yeah.

Yeah, you got the Dirk Low post.

I would imagine that if you ever took a three and even practiced, Tibbs would probably be like, what are you doing? Yeah, he was hating. I hit a three one time in practice, and he was like, what the fuck are we doing? And I hit it.
And I hit it, and he's like, yo, what the fuck are we doing? I don't know. I don't remember.
Would he ever, like, smile or laugh? He would, but not during practice. Not when it was work.
Right. You know, you could catch him clowning, but not between the lines and not during practice and not during film.
Shit. Never.
Fuck. Pretty much never.
um i have speaking of uh former players and everything in the battles you went through i have a clip i want to play you real quick so we interviewed uh kevin garnett uh it was probably about a month ago and i asked him about the famous beef so i want to hear your side of it this is what he said said. Hold on, let me get to it.
He said, here we go. Did you guys try the coffee? Yeah, I'm having it right now.
It's actually delicious. I feel great.
You guys don't say nothing? No, I feel great. You have to understand like the inner peace that I'm feeling right now.
I don't need to say anything. Tell the people that you were hung over, you felt like shit.
I was, they know. And then you drank a little hydrate.
I've only mentioned it like four times. You drank a little bit of my superfood creamer.
superfood creamer yeah i feel great and you're feeling great listen it was a superfood creamer it was a coconut water plus aquaman everyone knows about to hydrate from uh from layers superfoods and i slugged that and now i'm drinking the mushroom tea delicious it is delicious i'm feeling like i'm on the moon right now all right here we go ready the story was joking no I was like, you were my idol growing up, and Kevin just turned to him and said, fuck you, Noah. No, he asked you.

Real shit. He asked me the move I just gave him.
I'm like, nigga, figure it out. Hey, shit, get out of here.
What the fuck I look like? What the fuck I look like, man? I knew I'd get that out of here. Joe Kim's ready to run through a brick wall right now.
He's getting mad.

All right, so tell us your side of that story. I'm going to tell you straight up.

KG was, first of all, I just don't understand how, I don't think he remembers because I think the story meant a lot more to me than it did to him.

Right.

You know?

So I remember because I had KG posters on my wall.

I had a fucking KG jersey growing up. So this is the story.
This is what happened. The first time I played KG, I'm hype as hell.
Like, we're playing the Celtics. I'm on the Bulls.
And I think they're up, like, 30 points. And I'm in the game.
Like, it's, like, the last seconds. Like, nobody gives a shit.
So we're at the free throw line, and he used to work out with this guy called Joe Abunasar, and I was working out with him for pre-draft. So I was always excited.
I was always hoping like KG would walk in the gym, and, you know, I would be able to like work out with him. And I remember asking him a question about, yo, you gonna work out with Joe? I was just trying to be cool.
I just wanted to say something to my idol. And he just looked over and he was like, yo, who the fuck are you talking to? Who the fuck you think you're talking to? And then like, when he said that, I was like, oh shit.
Like, I shouldn't have. And then like, I kind of fell back knowing that I shouldn't, I shouldn't have said that.
Like not, not during the game. Right.
You know? And then I didn't say anything. And then when I didn't say anything, I guess he thought I was the fucking, I guess he thought I was pussy or something because he was like he kept like getting like louder and louder and then i was like and then from that from that moment on i swear to god i was like yo i'm going at him every single time we play we are going at it that's probably good for you though it changed it changed it changed it changed my career that moment changed my career because from that that moment on i learned that there's no love in battle and you know this is competition like at the end of the day i'm i'm trying to rip your fucking head off you're trying to rip my head off let's let's go like i'm trying to win just as bad as you're trying to win i'm not trying to make no friends and you know that that moment right there changed everything so like i i hear like i hear people talking about that moment that they weren't even there they don't even know what happened they're talking about it writing that shit in books like fuck out of here like i remember that was a real important moment for me and that's what happened and i and i'll say i'll say this too um a couple years later that year that derrick rose got hurt i know there's a lot of like there's a lot of hype about that time because there's a movie that just came out kg but that series But that series, I will say this, even when Derek went down that year, if I didn't get hurt and we played Boston, we were coming at them.
And I was ready for that. I was hungry for that.
I wanted that. It took like the only person or one of the only people I would assume in the league that you looked up to at that point, and it reminded you that you're not there to look up to anybody anymore.
He's your peer, so now you just want to dunk on him. Exactly.
I like that. That's cool, though.
Yeah, because it gets spun a ton of different ways where it looks like... Shit, I'm getting hot.
Yeah, take off your jacket. It might be the mushrooms.
This is probably the first phase of the trip. It makes you sweat out the toxins first.
So someone put on some of the music, put on some dead, maybe some Marley, whatever. We'll get through this.
Monks friends. You consider yourself a hippie? Yeah.
What do you listen to? I listen to a lot of Bob, a lot of Reggae music, just Gregory Isaacs, a lot of bob you know a lot of reggae music you know just uh gregory isaacs a

lot of the barrington livy um i just watched a movie the other day searching for sugar man you ever seen that yes rodriguez yes yes sick yeah i haven't watched it yet what's it about uh it's about this guy in Detroit who, a great musician musician and ends up talking about he's a superstar in during apartheid in South Africa and doesn't know it. Right.
He had like a hit and he had no idea that he had a hit. That's crazy.
Another part of the world. Super famous.
Yeah. Super famous.
Like David Hasselhoff. Did he go over? germany did they take him over there and he like gets off a plane yes yeah yes check it out shout out searching searching for sure it's cool sick so do you listen to that chilled out music to to bring you down from being so fired up or do you find like it's kind of strange like because you are a fierce competitor when you're on the court but you're like a very mellow dude off of it i I think I was just, I was raised like that.
You know, this isn't a gimmick. You know, I just, I listened to, this is what my mother and my dad listened to.
And, you know, they're hippies. So, you know, I mean, this is who we are.
Speaking of your dad, I saw that video where he caught a fish with his hands. First of all, I'm calling bullshit.
I feel like there was a fish just on the line underneath the dock.

Second of all, if it was real, tell me it was real

because our producer, Hank, thinks he can do the same thing.

Hank, you can't do that shit.

Stop playing.

So was it real?

It's fucking real, man.

No way.

It's real.

He just jumped in and caught a fish with his hands.

Yeah.

He's an animal.

Does he do that a lot? Yeah, he's an animal like that. Nah, he's just, he definitely fucking.
Yeah. I was going to say.
I feel like he went to the grocery store. A little time.
I was like, there's a fish underneath the stock. Actually, that was epic though.
Yeah, it was. My pop said when he came to see me last summer, he was like, somebody went up to him and he's like, yo, you're the guy with the, you're the guy who caught the fish how did you do that that's great did you play tennis growing up because your dad no not at all never really no i'll still bust your ass in ping pong though yeah no we're gonna play ping pong after absolutely we're absolutely gonna play ping pong but no no tennis man that was never that was just never i don't know I just didn't like people.
You know, I grew up in Paris until I was 10. And I just didn't like people just, you know, just being around.
And, like, I just didn't like the energy about tennis. I just didn't like it.
Probably John McEnroe's fault. Just kind of a dick.
Yeah, he's like, fuck this. Shout out Johnny Mac.
Speaking of your, back to your shot real quick. You played with President Obama, and he made fun of your shot, right? Yeah.
What happened there? He, shit, I got invited by President Obama for his 50th birthday to come hoop. So that was a highlight for sure.
And, yeah, he made fun of my jumper. But, you know, it was a special.
I mean, everybody makes fun of my jumper. Right.
Get in line, Barry. But it was cool because, you know, he was definitely ruined.
He was ruined for us. Yeah.
So it was cool to have.

Did you take it easy on him?

No way.

Did you dunk on him?

Honestly, I don't even remember.

He probably put you on his team.

No.

He's like, hey, Joakim, Derek, Carlos, why don't you come play for my 50th birthday?

We'll play a bunch of my Secret Service.

Like, we'll run fives.

I don't even remember him even being on the court.

I don't you come play for my 50th birthday We'll play like a bunch of my secret service Like we'll run five I don't even remember him being

Even being on the court I just remember watching

Him a little bit and he was

He's pretty good

A silky smooth left handed game

Yeah

I remember when he was running for president

The rule when you're running for president is never

Shoot a jump shot on camera

Because like if you're 50 years old

And you're running you're probably going to miss it

And then that video clip is out there

Age of The rule when you're running for president is never shoot a jump shot on camera because if you're 50 years old and you're running, you're probably going to miss it. And then that video clip is out there.
And he just got the ball and he just stepped back from three and just wet it. He walked away.
He was like, okay, that guy is cool under pressure. Yeah, he can do that.
Cool dude. I just thought it was cool to have a president that came from, you know, born in Hawaii, father African, just mother white.
He just came from so many different backgrounds. I just thought that that would be interesting.
Yeah. I was just thinking earlier, when you went to University of Florida, you were there at the exact same time that their football team was also dominating.
That's probably the most athletic college campus that has ever existed.

Chris Leak or Tebow?

Both, right?

Both.

Did you ever play hoops against them?

No, not them.

But it was like, I mean, it was more like about partying.

Yeah.

You know, like, hey, guys, let's go play basketball. No, it was, yo, let's get lit after we won the championships.
Do you still keep in touch with those guys that were on your team, Al Horford, Corey Brewer? Yeah. Yeah, shout out to Horfy.
You know, he has a shot to win a championship and, you know, Corey's trying to, you know, get a job in the league. He's busting his ass trying to get back out there.
Torrin's playing great overseas. He plays in France.
All those guys. They actually are naming the court out there, Billy Donovan court, next month.
Oh, nice. So, you know, I'm sure we'll all meet up and do something for him.
You guys were so good. You were, I think, was this year did three guys from Duke go in the top ten? So that was the only other time it's happened is you guys went three in the top ten.
Duke this year went three in the top ten. Only time it's happened in all of college basketball.
Yeah, it was also, you know who else was on campus? Interesting. You guys will appreciate this.
Dan Bozerian. Oh, yeah.
We can't say his name on this podcast. We interviewed him, but we didn't post it.

Oh, really? He's such a dickhead that we can't say anything about him.

Yeah, we went to his house.

No, you can't even say he's a dickhead.

Well, he's such a dickhead that he won't let us say that he's a dickhead.

We signed some super strict NDA to go into his house.

So we've said too much.

How was it?

Very misogynistic.

No, we can't tell you.

I can't understand that.

Really?

No, we signed an NDA.

So you guys basically make me say all this shit, and then I'm asking you a legitimate

question.

Okay, all right, all right.

His house was fucking sick.

Okay, thanks.

Thank you. Really? No, we signed an idea.
So you guys basically make me say all this shit, and then I'm asking you a legitimate question. Okay, all right, all right.
His house was fucking sick. Okay, thanks.
It was incredible. And there was weed everywhere.
Okay, cool. We took a bunch of it.
He had bongs that were shaped like guns. Yeah, it was so sick.
Like a whole room of gun bongs. Just awesome.
Well, he's a gator boy. He is.
That's anyway. I don't know if you guys have to.

Yeah.

Honestly, I don't remember if we partied together or not,

but I just know he was on campus.

You know who else was there?

Aaron Hernandez.

Did you watch that documentary yet?

Yo, I've been watching it.

Crazy.

Did you ever party with him?

Yes.

Oh.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's about it, though.

Okay.

Yeah.

Pretty intense. I hope that that was about it.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I mean,

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there's a lot of, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, about it, though. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, there was a lot of crazy shit going on, though. It was all in those two, three years.
Yeah, you guys were the center of college sports for those two, three years. It was crazy.
When you came back after San Diego. Can you imagine how crazy going to the bar was? No.
With a championship football team and a championship basketball team?

Yes.

Insane.

Okay, we'll leave it at that.

Yeah.

When you came back for the second championship,

did you know that you were going to come back

and you just pulled a psych on everybody,

or did you actually think you were going pro?

I hadn't.

Honestly, the shit happened so fast.

I mean, I didn't even know I was.

I wasn't even considered to be going to the NBA that year. So it was just like everything was like, yo, you have a chance to be the number one pick.
That all happened during the tournament. So during the tournament, it's like, you know, we're just, we're so locked in at that point.
We're just trying to win chip and then when we won it was so fun they're like all right you gotta go i was like hell no i'm not going anywhere this is this is this is great i don't need nothing you know so um i just loved honestly when when you have like a remedy to winning and and you're winning like that feeling of winning a championship. There's no feeling like that ever.
I've been chasing it for shit. I'm still chasing it.
Except drinking mushroom coffee. Exactly.
That's the closest I've ever come. That's the closest thing you get in podcasting.
That's as close as it gets to winning a championship. So get your super food creamer and stop playing around.
That championship game, I remember being so pissed because you and Greg Oden got fouls so quickly in that stupid foul rule. Remember how it was so hyped up, like Oden versus Joakim Noah, and then you guys were out for basically the entire first half.
Am I remembering that correctly? I don't remember much about that game. I'm pretty sure that you guys both got your two fouls straight away.
It's crazy. I really don't remember much about basketball games.
I just remember after the game what we were doing. Part of getting lit.
You remember the lit. We've been talking about lit a lot.
Okay, all right. Let's stop talking about lit.
Come on, ladies. You should be back in be back in the league are you gonna have people been asking because you were good last year with the grizzlies honestly i i'm busting my ass right now every day right i'm hungry i'm trying to get back out there you know i felt like i played you know i played uh pretty well last year on the grizzlies um they gave me an opportunity when everybody was laughing at me saying that it was over.
Got back on the court, handled my business, and I really felt like I had a good shot. I had a freak accident happen.
I got injured. I had to get a little surgery, but I think that I'm in a position right now where I made money.
I made all those things, and a lot of people would be like, you can just chill and just fall back and enjoy life. But that's not who I am.
I'm a competitive motherfucker. I love being out on the court.
It has nothing to do with money. I'm not out here trying to make money.
It's not about making money. It's just about being in the locker room and getting a shot to play for something big.
That, to me, is what it's all about. And I'm working my ass off to get there, and that's what I want.
All right, so my promise to you, that speech, which just got me so fired up, because you're right, you've made all the money. You don't need to play.
You want to play. We're going to clip that, and we're going to tag every NBA team.
Let's fucking go. Except for Cleveland.
Except for Cleveland. Except for Cleveland.
Except for Cleveland, but we're going to tag every NBA team and be like, hey, peep this. Joakim's ready.
He's going to give you 10 and 10 every single night. He's physical.
Just fucking say the word. Best shape of his life.
Coach Ross has you going. Coach Ross has you going every single time.
Shout out Ross Burns. He doesn't like me.
Why not? What did you do? When we were on TBT, because we weren't playing. He just told me this story like two days ago.
Well, we would just basically, like the layup line was my game. That was my favorite time because that's the only time I, like, shoot.
And he got mad at me because I was going too hard in the layup line. And who was – Justin Burrell.
I was trying to D him up. Like, I was actually kind of trying to injure him because I was trying to play so hard.
And he was like, you have to stop. Like, we only have six guys who can play.
You were playing defense in the layup line? Well, we had – no, we were warming up. And we had an eight-man roster and seven and eight were me and dave so we really had a six man roster so coach ross was like dude if you hurt him and i was like i'm ready to go he's like i'm not i will play with four before i play with you god damn it yeah we had it was you know it's classic you know sometimes you'll see eye to eye with the coach.
Yeah. Yeah, it just happens.
That shit happens for real. All right, we're going to get you a job.
All the rest of my questions are about different cities to be lit in, so I'm going to bypass those. Yeah, all right, I got one last question.
Wait, I got to find my, oh, I have one trivia question for you. This is another one that we can tag everyone on Twitter.
There, you are one of only five players. Ready for this? One of only five players to have a Final Four MVP, all NBA first team, all defensive first team.
Put that on the resume. Put that on a clip.
The other players, Hakeem, Anthony Davis, Bill Walton, Jerry West. Pretty good company.
Shit. I think you're a Hall of Famer.
I don't know about all that. Well, in the streets.
We can get it going. In the streets for sure.
In the streets, you're a Hall of Famer. I like that.
All right, I got one last question. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars.
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Go see Joaquin play whenever he gets signed after this interview. Promo code TAKE10 off your ticket purchase.
What is Derrick Rose like outside of playing basketball? He's the best. You know, sometimes like Derrick got some, he always got heat for saying wild shit sometimes.
But the truth about him is if you knew him, you just knew that he's just a real humble guy, you know. And, you know, he went through a lot.
A lot of, like, you know, just be a hometown kid, you know, youngest MVP to, you know, tearing, you know, your ACL when, you know, the lights were the brightest, you know, in your hometown. And to be able to see him now, like, walking around smiling, you know, head high with everything that he went through, it's, that's what, to me, that's what it's all about.
You know, like, it's about the journey. Like, you see some of these guys, they're done playing, and it's like, they're fucking bitter.
And, like, this guy's still out there with everything, even though, you know, he made his bread, he did everything, and he's still out there competing because he loves to hoop. And he's in a good place.
And you know what? For that, that's why I always had his back because I was like, you know what? This dude's like, I just don't fuck with people who just, like, run around, you know, ego on a million, you know, just running around on their superstar shit. Like, he was never like that.
He was always about, you know, the real shit, you know, his people and taking care of what's important and seeing people for what they are and not, like, he wasn't a bandwagon dude at all, you know. So shout-out to The Real.
Shout-out to Derrick Rose. That's my brother forever.
Was there a moment in his first couple years where you're like, holy shit, like this guy is for real, for real? Every night. Yeah? I mean, every night.
I mean, it was like the guy came in, he just you just knew i mean the guy was just he was special man and he was he was it was almost sometimes like as humble as he was he would say the way he like his approach sometimes you'd be like yo this guy's just he's he's nuts he would be like 19 years old and be like yo i'm i'm gonna win like i'm gonna win mvp and i'm gonna win like six six championships right and be like yo derek fuck out of here just calm down and then he went and won you know and then but it was like that with his mindset was just it was some other shit and i I almost feel like to be great, you almost have to be like that. Well, yeah, it's crazy that he was able to be that good and that driven in his hometown.
Because I feel like, I mean, you've experienced it. I'm sure playing in your hometown gives you all the distractions in the world.
All the distractions. And to be able to tune that out and become an intense like psychopathic competitor a real driven person like that takes a special mindset for sure a hundred percent and that you know he did it and you know that's why like these are extreme situations and that's why like people talk shit about tibs but we needed somebody like that like you know it was like think about what was going on you had a 22 year old making 40 million dollars that year you know and in his hometown like you needed somebody with structure like we needed me lit like you know but at the same but really wants to win right like it was you know i talk a lot about like about partying and all that stuff but at the end, but really wants to win.
Right. Like it was, you know, I talk a lot about like, about partying and all that stuff.
But at the end of the day, when it came, basketball and winning was always, is always more important. Like I care, that stuff is fun, but we were in the business of winning basketball games, you know, and, you know, it worked.
And to me, I always say, if it wasn't for injuries, I injuries i always felt like we would have got one yeah i don't think anyone's ever going to question your competitive streak because if you watch you play one time you're like that guy just wants it more than everyone else in the middle of february when everyone's kind of not even trying you were doing everything all the little stuff so thanks i think you're good on that. Appreciate it.
Joe Kim has been awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Laird.

Laird.

Shout out Laird Superfoods.

Laird Superfoods.

Get the coconut.

Get the mushrooms.

I'm so high now.

No, just kidding.

Yeah, check it out.

That was your trick.

You dosed us with drugs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I dosed you.

You can eat our ass and ping pong.

No, this stuff is actually delicious.

This is delicious.

So check it out.

Laird Superfoods, Joe Kim Noah.

Thank you so much. Hall of Famer.
And soon to have a job. Thank you, man.
That interview with Joe Kim Noah is... Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game market.
Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me.
Not a big deal. Pink Whitney? That's what I thought.
See you, fellas. I invented the thing, you thing you pigeon pink whitney for legendary moments okay let's get to some segments first up we got talking xfl pft let's discuss how is the xfl i'm gonna tell you right now the dc defenders are a wagon nice goddamn wagon there's no one getting in between them and whatever trophy is called for the XFL championship.
Yeah. I don't know what it's the I actually thought about McMahon's probably dinosaur bones or something.
Just Vince McMahon's hair. Right.
Donald Trump shaved off that one time dipped in bronze. I went down to the DC defenders game crowd wasn't as big as week one.
That's to be expected, but it was cold. So everyone that showed up, they were a real football guy to brave the weather to get out there.
Dominated the puny Guardians, Darren Revell's Guardians. And that's about the story of the weekend.
Okay. That's about it.
Houston looks good. The Cup Snake was awesome.
Cup Snake was great. Matt McGloin got benched at halftime for tripping his own team.
Yeah, so McGloin went like, I think he completed four passes for 40 yards in the first half, and then on the way to the locker room said, we need to redo the entire game plan. Right.
And then his coach was like, okay, including the game plan that had you as a starting quarterback. Yes.
Literally, Matt McGloin. So he got benched.
If I was Matt, I would just say, I've never been the same since that laser game in Mexico City. Oh, I remember that.
The laser got in my eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got reverse Jamest in it. I am going to – I found my team for the XFL.
Well, not really my team. I'm more of a fan of a Twitter account that is a fan of a team.
He goes by Renegade Jim. He's Jimmy Bucks Bucks with X's there.
Oh, he's a Dallas fan? He's a huge Dallas fan. And I could not be more in on his Twitter account.
So he's been burning people. He tweeted on Valentine's Day, wait, oh, definitely not going to be raising any hell this weekend.
Oh, wait, it's Opp day. Oh.
Raising hell. Shit.
You ready? I mean, this is what I'm about to get into it. Like, so he, oh, here's, you want to talk about your D.C.
Defenders being a wagon? Yeah, they are a wagon. I got bad news for you, buddy.
Hit me. Defenders only playing home games really going to hurt them when it counts.
They're not battle tested? No. Well, guess what? The Defenders are going into Dignity Health Sports Complex this weekend.
There you go. And if we come out of that with a big W, a big road win.
He said there's a picture of Vipers fans all dressed in snake outfits. They're trash.
Oh, no, Dragons fans. Sorry, I get them confused.
He said, wow, XFL Dragon fans are super cool. Hashtag psych.
Oh, I was going to say not. He also has, Renegade Jim has his record as 1-0.
And I asked him, hey dude, you guys are 1-1. And he said he's only counting games that Landry the Goat played.
That's fair. So I'm in on.
I've got mine updated at 2-0. I'm in on the Dallas.
I'm not in on the Dallas Renegades. I'm in on Renegade Jim following the Dallas Renegades.
I'm also staying a little woke on Landry Jones because I feel like Landry is a fourth or fifth announcer. Right.
They talk to him on the sidelines so much. I think that he wants to get a gig being an analyst or being in the booth next year.
I think that's what he's angling for because he's being super honest. They asked him today, like, hey, Landry, what's going wrong with you in the first half? He's like, I suck.
I suck at throwing footballs, and I'm throwing them to the wrong people when I should be throwing them to the right people. So I'm just bad.
And it was actually an engaging interview that they had with him, but I think that you will see Landry Jones in some sort of booth or behind a desk within the next year and a half. That's my bold XFO prediction of the week.
So are we – rank it against, like, obviously week one, everyone tuned in because they were – the novelty, excitement. It seemed like the story was maybe bad quarterback play is not great.
Except Cardell is apparently very good. And also P.J.
Walker. Yeah, sure.
And your Lux buddy. P.J.
Walker. On the Houston's.
Yeah, on the Roughnecks. Yes, that's right.
So would you say that's a fair assessment, though? Yeah, the quarterback play has struggled. The quarterback play hasn't been great.
But, I mean, again, I'm only watching D.C. teams, so that defense going up against anyone, they're going to make anyone look like a child out there.
That's just defenders football. In fact, I'm ready to have the conversation.
And by the way, people are saying that since the in-stadium experience is so good that Snyder will be selling the team. I heard that again from multiple sources this weekend.
I'm actually saying that I think that the defenders could beat the Redskins. But right now, I'm saying the Redskins roster as it stands.
If they all had to show up.

If they just showed up at the stadium.

Fair.

Without practicing.

And their coaches just told them two plays in the dirt.

And said, go out there and execute these plays.

And you'd have a battle of Buckeye quarterbacks going at it.

Yeah.

That would be fun.

District of Columbus.

That would actually be very fun.

I got one more renegade gym for you.

Okay.

He tweeted, if you stand by them during the bad times, you deserve to be there during the good times. Stay loyal.
There's been two weeks. Lifelong fan.
But they did lose their first week. The ups and downs in an XFL season, it's enough to drive anybody insane.
A lot of people talking smack. Do you realize the Chiefs lost week one and look what happened with them? So it's good.
It's good to shake the cobwebs off. I can't tell if this guy's trolling or not.
I'm going to assume he's not just so that I can enjoy all of his content. You want it to be pure.
I want it to be pure. I want Renegade Jim.
I don't have an XFL team. I just have a guy who watches an XFL team and I follow him.
I think the big story of this week for me was the continued excellence of that one ref that wears the red hat that has the fanny pack that's filled with footballs at all times. Right.
That's the new wrinkle that they have. One guy just always keeps that motherfucking thing on him.
All right. We have a Hank hot in the streets.
Hank, what do you got? It's more of an explain it to Hank for PFT, but the new hot in the streets slang for beta instead of if of like you know if you want to diss someone you just call him a simp a simp i've been seeing simp simp is having a moment right now online i see that people are saying that uh live coward has like a lot of simps that follow her yep what is that it stands for a simple your beta a simple person lacking common sense a fool or simpleton a man who foolishly overvalues woman and puts her on a pedestal. Like a fuckboy.
Is it the same as a fuckboy? No, fuckboys are like, they like lead girls on and like kind of fuck them over. Simps are like betas, like whatever you want, queen.
What's the difference between a simp and an incel? Not much. Okay.
Simp. I don't know.
It sounded kinkier when you when you hear the word simp you don't sound like loser yeah you think of gimp kind of yeah like someone who's totally submissive is it the same as a sub pretty much okay okay all right so simp who would you say like in in our world is a simp give me an example dr dr DR. DR is a simp.
Big time simp. Oh, who went to J.J.
Watt's wedding? I think you mean Kayla Ojai's wedding. True.
Don't you? Married a Wisconsin man. Yes.
Greeny. Simp.
Simp. Greeny.
Big time simp. Big time simp.
Wow. What about fans of Greeny? Have you seen...
No, you can be like a simp stan, right? But that doesn't make you a simp? No. Yeah, if you're a simp stan, I feel like it's almost more of an alpha move.
To be able to acknowledge that you root on a simp. Yeah.
Okay, that's an alpha. Like you're trying to elevate the simps? Yeah, exactly.
It's like when a coach puts in an equipment manager

for one touchdown run at the end of the year.

Right.

That coach is an alpha by showing what a good person is.

I'm so kind-hearted because I root for Greeny

to have missionary sex once a month with his wife.

Yeah, that's a non-simp move.

Total non-simp move.

Yeah.

I don't think we're understanding it at all.

Hank's looking at me like I'm not kidding. No, I'm trying to to think of other drink is a simp.
Nope. He's not.
No. Why? He doesn't even have a girlfriend.
Yeah. Big simp.
No. He can't even talk to girls.
Big simp. So that's it.
Like legally, he has a restraining order against every person under 18. Should we try not to use this? Probably not, right? What's wrong? I mean, I feel like I don't have a grasp of the Simp Life.
Ooh, the Simp Life. That should be a reality show.
Where it's... The Simps.
Just two losers. Yeah.
I think we're just better. Maybe you get the people from Simpsons and The Sims.
The Simps. Uh-huh.
Hank, you loving this? And they're in love with Paris Hilton. Yes.
Yes. Perfect.
Simple Life is awesome. Yeah, they buy all the stuff off Paris Hilton's Amazon wish list.
That's a Simp move, right? It's like going on a porn star's wish list on Amazon and getting- Yes. Big Simp move.
Yeah. Okay.
Getting her like the silk socks that she wants. A man who foolishly overvalues a woman and puts her on a pedestal.
Oh, that's just romance. Simps.
Whatever happened to treating your queen like a lady? Okay, so like Pornhub commenters, simps. Got it.
I had a drunk idea on Saturday. Oh, jeez.
I might just... I might just...
I drank a zillion beers. I might start blogging in the Pornhub comment section.
You should. Like write sports blogs.
You should write down detailed game plans. Like here's what I'm looking for week three.
Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Vikings versus Seahawks.
No, I'll do my XXFL. There you go.
I'll do my XXFL previews in the comment section of Pornhub. Yeah.
I like that. Okay.
New segment. That's a winner.
By the way, we're 12 points away from finding out who's going to win the All-Star game. It's been electric.
Yes. They actually are playing defense now.
So there you go. You have your defense.
My dad is ecstatic. I remember when they played defense.
So wrapping up, Hank, you good? Beebs. New segment.
Hank, how you doing? Hank. I'm doing'm doing great You okay Biebs slid into Your girlfriend's Well my girlfriend was Chirping On Valentine's Day She was chirping his album Saying it wasn't good Is it not good It's not good So she was chirping him And he just Like it was in one of those Twitter moments Where it's like Here's what people are saying About Justin Bieber's new album And her tweet was.
And her tweet was in there. So I think Justin was just going through the moment.
Oh, that's what he was doing. And was just DMing, replying her, being like, too bad.
The algorithm got him. He wasn't checking out her profile.
Got it. It was put into his feed.
Got it. So I'm great.
Got it. So he said, what did he say to her? Too bad.
Too bad. That's a little flirty.
Do you think she was flirting and nagging him by saying that your album's not that great?

No.

She was dead honest.

I think she was a believer.

She wanted to like the album, but she just didn't.

Gotcha.

So when he said too bad in her DM, she probably just let it go because she doesn't want to get into a back and forth with Justin Bieber or say anything witty to reply to her, right?

Well, for her job and content purposes, it makes sense for her to reply to him, so she oh what'd she say is it too late now to say sorry oh wow that's that's not flirty at all nope definitely not flirty and did he reply to this she said that to him on valentine's day too right i just want to make sure for my records i've got this story dead to read writing a story about it yeah so we want to make sure that we do all of our research. It'll be published on a Pornhub under the James Brown video that he tweeted out.

So do we want to just hang out and watch the end?

I mean, who cares?

Of the All-Star game?

Yeah, I don't know.

There's 12 points left.

Yeah, 12 points left if Team Giannis is 12 points away.

Yeah, I think we should talk about the end of that game. Okay, we're back.
We actually stopped, and then we watched the end, and it was awesome. It was pretty cool.
I've never seen a game in like that. The two free throws to seal it, when he missed the first one, he had to be pooping himself a little bit on the second.
It was cool because it was like, I mean, we do. I just said that I didn't want to see them play defense because it's not as fun, but then it actually got, like, really fun.
But no one knew how to play offensively together, so it was one-on-one basketball. It was essentially, like, the best players in the world playing a sloppy pickup game on a Saturday or Sunday morning, and it's, like, the seventh game of the day.
Everyone's like last game.

So people are not playing sharp.

Yeah.

And jacking threes and being like, I want to be hero.

No, I want to be the hero.

It kind of looked like two dads, two 55-year-old dads figuring out how to play 2K for the first time against each other.

Right.

And Kyle Lowry taking charges, two huge charges.

The kids were awesome.

But I think that this actually, I don't know. I still don't understand the scoring thing.
Nope. But it was a cool ending.
Blue one. That was the coolest ending we've had in an all-star game in a long time.
They should make the kids that lost have to actually go into debt to the kids that want to pay them their winnings. And shout out the refs.
We all came to see the refs. And Cal Lowry.
So it was good that we had to watch a lot of refs. He's a big virgin.
Cal Lowry taking two nice charges there down there. Yeah, really nice charges.
So, alright, that's All-Star Week. Actually a very good cap-off of this, and the best part is, Kobe would have nailed the three right away.
Little tribute. He would have definitely had the game winner.
LeBron tried to do it from half court. He tried to do it from half court.
Kawhi had his shot at it too.

So good All-Star weekend. Good

job, NBA. This league, everyone's

back. It's NBA season.

Do we owe an apology to Adam Silver? Yes.

Adam, actually

we'll have to tweet this out so that he sees it because otherwise

he'll never know. Adam,

I'd like to apologize

for absolutely nothing.

It's my job to hold you accountable, Adam Silver. But you did a good job on this one.
Love you guys. Welcome to motherfucking Detroit, goddammit.
Wonderboy. Shit.
Damn, son. Where'd you find this? Take on me.
Tough, you dick.

Evil empire.

Not the hottest thing smoking.

You must be out of your goddamn mind.

Take me on.

This shit is hot.

Not to watch you.

It's Pardon My Kid.

Presented by Farm Stool Sports.