Big Cat Had A Baby, NBA Draft, Jimmy Tatro Interview, Mt Rushmore With Jon Taffer

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Jimmy.

Speaker 1 How do you say his last name? Tatro. Tatro.
I said it wrong in the in the interview and I felt like such an asshole because he's he's awesome. What? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe Hall of Fame or Mount Rushmore funniest guys that we've ever interviewed. He's yeah, he's very cool.
He blazes. Yeah, he dude, do you blaze, bro? Not even burn.
Do you even burn, bro?

Speaker 1 I asked him that, Hank. I asked him that.
You weren't there, but I asked him that. We have Jimmy Tatro.
His new season just got announced, dude. New season just got announced.

Speaker 1 We have John Taffer, Mount Rushmore with him. We have Jilly Football, NBA draft, and I had a child.

Speaker 3 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the sound work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a low-washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 I've been my take.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Put in code Barstool and you get $5 to the ASPCA. Today is Friday, June 21st.

Speaker 1 Do I sound any different? Because I'm a father. You do sound a little different.
This is the first show where one of us is a father

Speaker 1 of. That we know of.
I'm on very little sleep, but I'm here to talk about it and the NBA draft and Jimmy

Speaker 1 Tatro.

Speaker 1 Fucking awesome guy. I want to be friends with him.
But we have all that.

Speaker 1 Should we talk about the fact that I have a child? I think we should probably get started with that.

Speaker 1 You know, if somebody pointed out to me that exactly nine months ago is when I started doing the Velveeta ad reads and a sexy voice, it might have put you right in the mood.

Speaker 1 Also right around the double doink days. No, no, no.
That's a Khalil Mac trade. Not good with math.
Not good with the math. Yeah, that was good.
That was like four months.

Speaker 1 But close enough. Enough to forgive Hank.
It's been like two parades for him since then. I think the Bears beat the Seahawks Monday Night Football, week two.
Someone found that.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I have a child. It was fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 I don't really know what to say other than it was fucking crazy. Like, it was...

Speaker 1 Congrats. I don't, yeah, thank you.
Thank you to everyone, by the way, who's reached out and said nice words.

Speaker 1 Also, thank you to like the two or three barstool haters that reached out and somehow looked at a picture of a newborn baby that was one day old and was like, fuck this baby.

Speaker 1 And was like, is he going to be a douchebag like his dad? So those people, like, I respect it. I respect the results.
I respect the commitment to the hate.

Speaker 1 The brain is so broken, I actually want to interview you. Like, how can you look at a newborn baby and be like, fuck this? Yeah.
So shout out those people too.

Speaker 1 So yeah, it was crazy.

Speaker 1 Like a lot of people say that, you know, the day your child is born is the best day of your life.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I'm going to put it there just because I think it was just the craziest day. You're a prove-it guy.
The baby hasn't done anything yet to earn that.

Speaker 1 It was more like the craziest, wildest experience of my life. I was, you guys know I am not one who is silent often.
A lot of jokes, a lot of wise ass, yeah.

Speaker 1 So I was making a lot of jokes in the delivery room. I was fucking, I had everyone rolling.

Speaker 1 It was like, you know, Night at the Apollo. They say laughter is the best medicine.
Oh, I was. So you were Patch Adams in there.
At one time, I was like, doc, let's do, like,

Speaker 1 how many more pushes you think it's going to take over under? Like, that one didn't really land. But anyway, I was trying.

Speaker 1 And then the baby came and I was completely silent for a half hour and just crying like a baby. So they're like, you want to hold it? Couldn't speak.

Speaker 1 Just the words, like, you know, when you can't speak, but really, not LeBron, no words.

Speaker 1 Actually, no words, where I could not form words. I was just stunned and like, holy shit, this is my baby.

Speaker 1 And yeah, it was a very, very crazy, cool experience. Shout out to Lady Cat, who's an absolute warrior.

Speaker 1 I told you before the show, I think I'm going to retire making jokes about how eating a lot of wings on Sunday is like pregnancy. Uh-huh.
Because what women go through, holy shit, man.

Speaker 1 I'm going to continue to make those jokes until I'm proven otherwise. Yeah, it is, they are so much stronger than men.
It's crazy. Yeah.
Crazy, crazy.

Speaker 1 Like, I would have, I was tired after the whole thing, and I did nothing. No, you did a lot.
I did a lot. You stayed in the hospital.
I stayed in the

Speaker 1 street.

Speaker 1 Smart move. The doctors were onto me because I kept on saying, am I in the way? Am I in the way? Do you need me to leave?

Speaker 1 Trying to get excused from the room because I was freaking out and I wasn't dealing with it well. And they're like, no, you're fine.

Speaker 1 Because I was actually standing in the corner as far away from everything as possible.

Speaker 1 They're like, you're fine. Stop asking that, dude.
Was he crying?

Speaker 1 So the baby doesn't cry right away, which is scary as hell.

Speaker 1 And then it starts crying and you're like, oh, thank God.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, just... You want to hear it crying? Yeah, right, exactly.
So he's been sleeping really well. And we're going to do the Evergreen show on Sunday so that I can...

Speaker 1 I was telling you guys too, like when the baby's born, you're at the hospital and it's just everyone's there to help.

Speaker 1 So I figured I'd come in, do the show now because once I go home tomorrow, I think I'm going to have my, oh, fuck. I have to keep this thing alive moment.

Speaker 1 On Saturday, you're going to wake up and there's going to be a baby in your house. Yep.
And you're not going to, you're not going to have any help with it.

Speaker 1 You're going to be like, I need to do something to keep this baby alive today.

Speaker 1 right don't have to go to the gym though that's a good thing yeah no you have you have a get out of exercise free card for quite some time i i wrote down a few other things i wanted to uh so yeah so there's help everywhere in the hospital so essentially the hospital for me became just a sports book because i had a tv all the channels and i was just betting on every game because i had nothing to do normal yeah right i had nothing to do so it's kind of nice it's it's actually this book that smells a little different it's good that you were doing that because if you were like super super attentive and uh not you know focused at all on sports or on your phone, people would have been like, there's something wrong with them.

Speaker 1 Right. There's something, what's going on? You need to tell me what's happening because you're freaking me out.
So the best. So it's good.

Speaker 1 You almost see it brings like a little bit of calm to everybody in the situation. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be like one of those dads. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't want my kid to see the bad side. No, we're going to bet on games right away.
No, you

Speaker 1 see how it goes. The baby has to know.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 It's actually, it's responsible of you from a fiscal standpoint to continue betting, if not more so than you were before, because the baby might be good luck. Right.
right.

Speaker 1 So he's not, but yes, he could have been. He might be.
He could have been. He might be.

Speaker 1 Did not do well tonight, but he could have been. I was hoping I was going to get some of that Fred Van Vleet magic.
Tomorrow's a new day.

Speaker 1 Not exactly what I was looking for. I was hoping that we were going to rattle off some winners.
But either way, yeah, the hospital becomes a sports book. Not that bad.

Speaker 1 And yeah, the whole thing is crazy. I don't really,

Speaker 1 I don't really know what else to say. I mean, I'm a day-old dad, so to pretend that I know anything would be stupid.
And I think I'm just going to learn on the fly.

Speaker 1 Like, people keep asking me if I've taken classes about, like, diaper. Oh, I did change my first diaper before I came here.
Very nice. Well, that was your first diaper on your baby.

Speaker 1 Yes, correct, correct. So I did do that, and I think I fucked it up, but the nurse was like, it's okay, I'll handle this.

Speaker 1 But I did try to change a diaper. That's all that you can do.
One of the books.

Speaker 1 And the only other thing I wrote down was I had a moment where I didn't sleep for like 48 hours or whatever it was, and I was just staring at my baby.

Speaker 1 And I think I got a little high, and I was like, How do people believe in fate?

Speaker 1 That's fucked up because, like, you're looking at this baby, and people who believe in fate would think that that baby, whatever's going to happen in his life, has already been determined.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's wild, yeah. Pre-nature versus nurture, right?

Speaker 1 That's the original rust versus rest to baby, right? So, I was just looking at it like you never look at a baby and think fate is real. That baby is destined for something.

Speaker 1 I feel like it happened. That's a common thing, though, that you hear.
People are like, Yeah, my baby was born, and then everything changed.

Speaker 1 I don't don't think anything changed.

Speaker 1 And Blow, when he was

Speaker 1 addicted to Coke, then his baby was born. And then it's like, it helps.
Obviously, you're not that extreme. No, I gambled right away, so that didn't change.

Speaker 1 It helps some people that are like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things where it just

Speaker 1 mind gets going. I don't think it changed.
I don't think I'm not going to be one of those guys who are like, oh, my God, everything just changed like that.

Speaker 1 Obviously, things will change, but it was more just the craziest experience in my life. Like, I've jumped out of a plane, not to brag, that's whatever, just it's kind of cool, but I'm not bragging.

Speaker 1 I've done, sung, sung the anthem in front of, you know, thousands upon thousands of people collectively, not all at the same time, probably only a thousand at one time.

Speaker 1 But this one is the craziest moment. So, this is it.
Crazy.

Speaker 1 I was on ESPN 2 at 1 a.m. Yeah, let's not forget.
But this is the craziest moment. Yes,

Speaker 1 this is some real responsibility that you have.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, future of me is ass in the jackpot. Yes, absolutely.
So, did you gain any dad strength yet?

Speaker 1 I have not benched yet. Okay, we need to check.
I would like to to bench yet. I want to do like a full second

Speaker 1 on whether dad's strength is a real thing. I think 50, probably.
Okay. I'm going to throw that out there.
350. 350 that's good to get the bench strength.
That's about 300 more than before. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 350. I say dad's strength is a thing.
Yep. I had a theory that you're more fertile than I am because you said that you had sex in the dark only.
Yeah. So maybe having, maybe sperm, they're

Speaker 1 impacted by light. Yeah.
I only use the lights because it helps me find out which hole. Yeah, that's true.
But for you, like, I think that might have something to do with the fertility issue.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you probably got to turn off the light now. Turn off the light so that my sperm can find their way home.
Grow, yes. No, I don't want a kid just.

Speaker 1 I'm going to live vicariously through your child for a little bit. Do it.

Speaker 1 I was a little upset this morning. Yeah.
Because your baby is already funnier than I am. Went viral.
Because it was born at six pounds and nine ounces. How about that?

Speaker 1 That's my best material, and your baby already cucked the shit out of me. When they said that, I laughed so hard.

Speaker 1 That was actually the first noise I made after the baby was born, and everyone just looked me like, what is your problem, man? You're crying, and now you're laughing? Are you deranged? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, whatever, it's fine. Yeah, so your baby's already a real hoot.
That's great. Also, 619-19 is pretty, it's a pretty baller birthday.

Speaker 1 You're going to get some Father's Day birthdays for that kid, which is going to be great for you and terrible for him. Maybe a U.S.
Open kind of situation. Yeah, yeah.
Father's Day, U.S. Open.

Speaker 1 You might have to get into golf. Uh-huh.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so then your baby started trending on Twitter. That's great.
Very cool. I had like 140,000 likes on that too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Darren Ravel made a really cool account for your baby, which immediately got deactivated. Thank God, because that's the creepiest thing they've ever seen.
You know what?

Speaker 1 You should have responded to him. Darren, this is not your content.
Like he responded to Jake when Jake filmed him pulling his hamstring. You know what, though?

Speaker 1 Credit to Ravel.

Speaker 1 He never deviates from who he is. No, he is who he is.
Like, if Darren Revell

Speaker 1 didn't reply with a completely socially awkward, tone-deaf response, I'd be like, what's wrong, dude? If he just replied, congratulations. That'd be weird.
That would be weird. Someone hacked him.

Speaker 1 Very. He had to be weird about it.
So, yeah, so your baby got a little under my skin. So I decided that I would do a little something to welcome him into this world.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to roast your baby. Because I'm punching up because he's funnier than me and he trended on Twitter.
So I feel like...

Speaker 1 I feel like he's fair game. Dad, cat, little cat, and congrats, big cat, which all are a tribute to him.
Yeah, so he's fair game for me to take down. He's ripe for a take down.

Speaker 1 This baby has had it too good for too long. So I wrote a few notes here.
He's living on Easy Street. Can you put the Seinfeld music in? Like some nice stand-up comedy stuff?

Speaker 1 Wow, little cash app cats. Welcome to the world.
I'm so glad you could make it. Can't wait to meet you.
And you were born, the doctor said, 10 toes and 10 fingers.

Speaker 1 Well, for now, until your dad starts to get confident about the Texans not winning the Super Bowl again. That's good.
Well, Dan, you know, you've changed already since becoming a dad.

Speaker 1 Me and you, we used to be on the same team. We said that we'd never get rid of cable TV for live sports.

Speaker 1 And the second little Yoko Ono Katz made his way into this world, he ran for a pair of scissors and you cut the cord.

Speaker 1 Speaking of belly buttons, your dad's is so deep, little cat, that he needs a damn three-foot-high gate around that thing in case he falls asleep with you on his lap so you don't fall in.

Speaker 1 He needs to get a belly button ring so you can belay your way out of that cave in case you get trapped down there. So be careful.
It's a scary world.

Speaker 1 I saw that swaddling job that your dad tried to put on you earlier. And folks, I haven't seen blanket coverage that atrocious since they trusted Chris Conte to protect the scene.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, that's too far. You know, little cat, you and your dad have a lot in common.
You both have to eat 12 times a day or else you get grumpy.

Speaker 1 You both cried when you had to leave the friendly confines to live in New York, and neither one of you has gone a few hours without pooping yourself. And I know your family loves you very much.

Speaker 1 They've gone ahead. They spent a lot of money baby-proofing the house, which is ironic because your dad would be a lot richer right now if Marion Barber had run directly into a corner.

Speaker 1 Speaking of spending a lot of money on pointless safety, have you heard about this Chris Conte guy? Oh, my God. Hey, Lil Cat, tell you what.
You might think you're hot shit, but I'm faster than you.

Speaker 1 I know more words than you. I've seen just as many nipples as you have.
I'm currently taller than you, and I've got almost as much facial hair as you.

Speaker 1 By just about any measurement, I'm more of a grown-up than you are, so let me give you some advice. Your dad's a great guy, and you have a lot to learn from him.

Speaker 1 Watch how he treats people, and you try to do the same. Watch how hard he works so that you can have a great life.
Watch how your dad sets goals and works tirelessly towards them.

Speaker 1 So when you set a goal, always try to hit it, but try not to hit it so hard that it bounces off that goal and hits another goal and falls meekly to the ground as the Philadelphia Eagles celebrate on your home field.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the world, little kitten. Oh, fuck.
That was good. That was really good.
I've always wanted to roast a baby. That was good.
I appreciate the words. The Chris Conte jokes were too far.

Speaker 1 Like, that was over the line. Disagree.
That was over the line. Some of the ladies were like, Randall Cobb got over the line.

Speaker 1 That was too. And Marion Barber, you should love Marion Barber because he did start Teebo Mania.

Speaker 1 I do. Yeah.
No, that was that was a big thing. That was a direct butterfly effect on the business.
That was Tebo Mania. By the way, I saw Tim Tebow's slash line the other day.

Speaker 1 It looks awful. It looks like somebody with two followers on Twitter, the ratios that they went into.
Are you giving up on him? No, I'm never giving up on Tim Tebow. Never.

Speaker 1 I will never give up on Tim Tebow. That's my word.
Okay, so yeah, so I had a baby.

Speaker 1 I'm here right now, so if you're going to do the

Speaker 1 people. I get it both ways already.
Like the people I did my hit on

Speaker 1 with my guys Waddle and Sylvie in Chicago, and someone replied, you didn't even do your own fucking show today, dude.

Speaker 1 And then someone else, I tweeted something, and they're like, dude, spend time with your newborn. It's like, he's sitting right next to me, and he's sleeping.

Speaker 1 Should I wake him up and be like, hey, man, guess what? The Hawks just traded up. No, it's good for your baby to learn all the weird stuff that you hate already.

Speaker 1 Like, that stuff needs to seep into his system. How will the baby, like, affect the immediate programming of the show? Won't.
Except for Sunday. Sunday, we're running.

Speaker 1 Actually, Sunday is actually probably one of my favorite episodes we ever taped. It's gonna be good.

Speaker 1 We taped a life episode with Ryan Rossillo and Mark Titus, where we were sitting in our house in Santa Monica, Venice Beach,

Speaker 1 grittier.

Speaker 1 And we talked about our lives and basically advice to our younger selves. And then we did a Mount Rushmore of things that we think that we are elite at.
Yeah, I definitely overshared.

Speaker 1 So sometimes I get accused of not sharing enough. Yeah, we all

Speaker 1 definitely went way deeper into my personal background than i think i so did have

Speaker 1 and so did rascillo and listen i don't know if you want to get that jaw dropper that deep inside rascillo's brain true a true yeah you have brought up the thing that pft said like

Speaker 1 at least five times since then not to we not to me

Speaker 1 behind my back no no to you oh okay no he said i have a bad memory yeah we have video so people will be able to see it on gold but that it was uh it was one of the funniest like yes it was a draw it was a draw drop it was yeah it's an awesome episode.

Speaker 1 So someday we're going to do that. So it will be an evergreen show.
Oh, yeah. Breaking Moose.
Breaking Moose, Hank.

Speaker 1 Breaking Moose. Bull Bull was just drafted by the Miami Heat with the 44th pick.
Sheesh. Sheesh.
That was

Speaker 1 a rejected top five pick before the year. Look at that suit that he's wearing, the spider web on the suit.
Here's the cool thing.

Speaker 1 original daddy long legs. Yeah, his dad, that picture of his dad in the pool, that's probably the coolest picture of all time, trended again.
That is good. Yeah, great news.
So that is cool.

Speaker 1 All right, a quick PSA. Do not give dogs chocolate milk.
Okay? Just want to get that straight for everybody.

Speaker 1 There was some disambiguation that we need to clear up because Hank didn't know about raising a puppy.

Speaker 1 So Hank, we're going to do the same thing that we did in the past where we have you tell a story or invent a sentence out of the words that chocolate milk gave us.

Speaker 1 This week's words are replenish and dichotomy. So Hank, tell us a story about recovery that ideally won't lead to the killing of beloved household pets.
The words are replenish and dichotomy.

Speaker 1 Give me a quick hint about dichotomy. Nope.
Nope. I'll spell it for you.

Speaker 1 D-I-C-H-O-T-O-M-Y. Bull bull, great story.
Love to watch him play. His knees need to be replenished.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm blanking on you. No, you got it.
Just do it. Just go for it.
His knees need to be replenished. He alleged.
He'll have a bad dichotomy. He'll have a bad dichotomy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fair. That's good.

Speaker 1 Many doctors are saying that there are questions about his dichotomy that popped up on the MRI. What do they do for a dichotomy? They just scope it? Aspirin.
There's not a lot. You just wrap it.
Rice.

Speaker 1 Rest, ice, compression, and elevation. Yeah, yeah.
Rice. Which isn't a problem for him.
Did you just look it up?

Speaker 1 What do you got? You want to try it again? No, it's good. We're good.
Okay. Okay.
When a natural break comes to wrap up the story, end by saying, learn more at BiltwoodCholotemilk.com.

Speaker 1 And that was a natural place to end that conversation.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Bulbal just got drafted. So back to our quick programming notes.
So Sunday we have an evergreen awesome episode.

Speaker 1 It's going to be life advice to our former selves with Ryan Russillo and Mark Titus.

Speaker 1 Can I just say I was going to tape, the plan was I was going to tape all the ads for that Monday show tonight, but you came in, so you're going to do them? Yeah, we'll do them together.

Speaker 1 Verbal meme of me

Speaker 1 getting ready to introduce Monday's show on my own.

Speaker 1 Brock Osweiler going to the bench to get his helmet and Peyton Manning running back onto the field and not letting me say, let's go. That's good.

Speaker 1 That's good that's good uh yeah so that's gonna be a good show on Sunday and then we're back to regular and then July 4th oh yeah July 4th week we always do we're gonna do a best of on the Wednesday before July 4th so July 3rd and it will be one of those like three hours you can binge it if you want in one day or if you have to work on Friday quit your job right now yeah I love it and also if you're down in Miami I'm gonna be down there for the DNC next week for the debates so there's one thing that the political world's been missing recently and that's a presence from part of my take.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to go down there and try to get some content. If you are in the know in Miami and you have any movers and shakers, slide in the DMs.
Get in there. Get in the DMs.

Speaker 1 So, all right, so that's baby. Baby happened.
I'll probably say a couple anecdotes here and there when I fuck up, but I'm going to keep trying to make a good show for everyone.

Speaker 1 Are you going to cry more? I feel like you're going to cry more. When you have a baby, I watch the draft tonight.
There are all these dads. Yeah, let's get into it.
But there is one thing I will do.

Speaker 1 Every now and then, PFT, I will have to pull the dad card and be like, well, you don't see it the way I see it. As a father.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen, once you have a kid, you'll understand what it means. And perfect segue because, yeah, it was the parents' draft.

Speaker 1 Draft tears are the best tears in the world. They are pretty solid tears.
They are the best tears. And Zion.
You got to see different perspectives of draft tears, too.

Speaker 1 Like, Zion, obviously, his eyes were bloodshot red when he got out there because he had already been thinking about the moment. Yeah.
Obviously. And then all the parents were crying the entire time.

Speaker 1 It's like life-changing tears. It's like watching Noshan Moreno during the national anthem.
Like really good, passionate tears. And you can't help but feel good for him.

Speaker 1 I have a question for you guys. Is Zion Williamson the most beloved athlete in the last 20 years?

Speaker 1 The most beloved. I'm talking about everyone loves him.
I can't remember a guy getting drafted, especially from Duke.

Speaker 1 And we talked about this when Duke was playing, you know, this past year, where it's like he goes above Duke, where you find yourself rooting for him, even though you don't want Duke to win.

Speaker 1 But the fact, like, if you looked at Twitter, everyone's like, man, this is awesome for Zion. And he goes to a franchise that, listen, I think the Pelicans are going to be good.

Speaker 1 I know New Orleans has very passionate sports fans, but it's not a hatable franchise. So if he went to the Knicks, if he went to the Lakers, if he went to

Speaker 1 the Warriors or the Celtics or the Sixers, people could hate him. But the Pelicans, they are not threatening in that manner.

Speaker 1 So I think he might be the most beloved athlete in terms of like universally. I'm not talking about one fan base loves, you know, one fan base loves Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers or all these.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about universally sports fans. It feels like everyone's rooting for something.
Chris Anderson. Because he played on so many teams that everybody loved the shit out of him.

Speaker 1 I just can't think of anyone.

Speaker 1 You same bolt, but that's kind of different. That's different.
Michael Phelps, but that's kind of... But even Michael Phelps had haters.
You same bolt was like universally.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's like everyone was just rooting because he like. Because they wanted to see something special.
right? And people don't watch track otherwise, right?

Speaker 1 So it's not like they're like rooting against their tapered teams or whatever. So then my second part of this question is: who will be the first to cross the picket line? To hate Zion? Max Kellerman?

Speaker 1 I think. Skip.
Yeah. You know what?

Speaker 1 It's going to be one. It's going to be skip.
I don't think. It's going to be the hottest take of all time when they say Zion sucks for this reason.
I don't think that Max is going to do it.

Speaker 1 Max is going to be the second person to do it, which is going to open the floodgates. Oh, I think that's the thing.
You ever hear the theory about it? You ever think.

Speaker 1 Really? by mid-season next year? Yeah. He doesn't perform right away, which he probably isn't.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Oh, yeah.
It's the second person that starts a trend.

Speaker 1 Like, if you go to a concert, you see one guy stand up and start dancing like a weirdo, everybody just looks at that person, and they're like, that guy's a weirdo.

Speaker 1 The second person that gets up and joins him, then all of a sudden everyone's like, oh, this is a thing that we're doing. So I think it's going to be Skip that starts the training with a guy.

Speaker 1 He's going to test the waters. early in the season and be like, I think Zion's going to have trouble staying under 300 pounds.

Speaker 1 See, I don't think he's going to to be hated, Hank, the same way that other guys get hated right away because, because,

Speaker 1 one, he seems like a very, very good guy. Like, just everything you read about him,

Speaker 1 everything you see on video. So,

Speaker 1 no, listen, but hold on. He has that perfect balance of can wow you with dunks and blocks and all this stuff, but he is one bad weekend away from being fat.

Speaker 1 I mean, so he becomes relatable in that sense. We can start with the nitpicking.
No, I don't want to nitpick Zion just yet. I'm just saying it's numbers based on it.
I'm ready. Okay.
Oh, I'm ready.

Speaker 1 And if he's he's not like Piccadilly,

Speaker 1 we have, actually. We have.
Yeah, we have nitpick Zion before. I've got some takes that are ready to go.
How about his draft suit? Do you want to start there? Draft suit was good. He's wearing white.

Speaker 1 It's the summertime. No tie.

Speaker 1 He's allowed to wear white. You're not allowed to wear white because you're not a virgin.
That's true. But yeah, I liked it.

Speaker 1 I like the no tie because as the draft went on,

Speaker 1 they interviewed him like two hours later, and he looked like he had just come out of a Miami nightclub at four in the morning.

Speaker 1 He had the button all the way almost down to to past his nipples that guy's been partying yeah it looked good it was a good it was a good evolution of a draft night suit yeah that's the look of of a guy that was at a wedding that's walking out at like 1 a.m with a champagne glass in his hand he's a little sweaty yeah it's it's tell you what it's after shout carrying his girlfriend's shoes shout just got done playing on the dance floor and the cupid shuffle hasn't been played yet that's the zone that zion looked like he was in he didn't have the best suit of the night though i think the best suit of the night garland's robe that he rocked up there yes the flowing robe yep That was very, very nice, very tasteful.

Speaker 1 That was nice. He looked like he was in the polyphonic spree.
Yep. Kobe White with the big hair hat picture, which always plays.

Speaker 1 By the way, just as a side note, the Bulls actually did something I agree with. Baby Jordan.
They did a point guard. Yes.
Another North Carolina guy.

Speaker 1 They've drafted a point guard when they needed a point guard. The Bulls roster, I actually like it because everyone fits.
And then I remember Jim Boylan's the coach.

Speaker 1 But Kobe White did say that he had his best conversation with anyone he met with was with with Jim Boylan. So that tells me that Jim Boylan did his soul check and Kobe White has a good soul.

Speaker 1 He did a thing where he just looked into his eyes and directly through his soul. That's what George Bush did with Putin.
Yeah. Got to read on him immediately.
So I like that pick.

Speaker 1 I actually like that pick. They didn't fuck it up.
Other things that I noted, well, there was the trades. David Griffin is on a heater.
He's just, he is trading everything and winning every trade.

Speaker 1 So he traded out of the fourth pick.

Speaker 1 Who came up? The Hawks came up. The T-Wolves all came up.
Everybody moved around. They all moved around for the same guy.
Like DeAndre Hunter or Jared Culver.

Speaker 1 I mean, Darius Garland's obviously different, but it felt like everyone moved around to get the fourth guy in the draft

Speaker 1 on their board. Right.
I always forget, too, that you can buy second-round picks in the NBA.

Speaker 1 It's so weird. Can you imagine if that's the Bulls play? Buy in and get

Speaker 1 a bunch of players. The Bulls actually couldn't do it this year because they were already maxed out.
Oh, really? That's why they didn't do it. They're still selling their picks.

Speaker 1 That's why they weren't through it this year. It's so weird.

Speaker 1 Like, all the trades in the draft, I I know we talked about free agency and the contract situations, mid-level exemptions, all that bullshit.

Speaker 1 But it's so confusing on draft night for me as like a casual NBA fan watching it because I feel like the NBA is trying to make us smarter by how many rules they have.

Speaker 1 Whereas I'm used to the NFL, which is actively trying to make us dumber based on how easy it is.

Speaker 1 They have one thing that you have to remember, and that's the Jimmy Johnson draft value chart, which is just something that Jimmy came up with on a sailboat after like 13 daiquiris.

Speaker 1 And he was like, this is how much a draft pick's worth. And everybody agreed that they would do it.

Speaker 1 In the NBA, you have to have like you have to have a degree or be at least like a janitor with racist friends in a basement at MIT to figure out exactly what you're doing with your draft picks and what they're worth.

Speaker 1 It's so hard that Rob Polinka couldn't figure it out. They made a trade and they did the numbers wrong.
I can't believe that story is real. Me neither.

Speaker 1 The fact that they made that trade, and like, wait, what? We don't have enough money now? So relatable, though. It is so relatable.
Because you just, it's almost like when you're, when your

Speaker 1 bookie texts you on Monday morning and you've done the math in your head and then he texts you and the number's way different. You're like, fuck.
Yeah, I screwed that all up.

Speaker 1 That is literally what Rob Plink. I said it was good.
Yeah, Rob Plink is going through that moment. He is having the worst Monday text from his bookie of all time where he's like, wait, hold on.

Speaker 1 Double check your numbers real quick. What he went through.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 let me double check mine. You double check yours.
Then it comes back the exact same. You're like, shit.
It is that.

Speaker 1 He went through what I went through on Monday, which is I was like, I'll pay my bookie off all in full.

Speaker 1 And then I tried to, and and then Vesch was like, we can't accept this many transfers over the course of a week. I was like, shit,

Speaker 1 that's Rob Belinko. Very relatable.
That's very relatable. I would just want to make a note.

Speaker 1 If we're going to talk about fathers crying at the draft, I think that we have to say it's pretty likely that next year when R.J. Hampton is drafted as a lottery pick,

Speaker 1 we'll be there. And I'm probably, the waterworks are just going to flow.

Speaker 1 I look at him like a son almost. I just want him to get drafted before Cal's guys.
Cal, a little bit more understated this year because what was P.J.

Speaker 1 Washington, what, what'd he go, like 13th or something? So that was the first one. Tyler Hero, by the way, shout out to his dad, the most Milwaukee-looking guy of all time.

Speaker 1 His neck was so large, he smelled like sausage through the TV screen. And Tyler Hero is the least Milwaukee-looking guy of all time.
It's so good. It's so good.
Their combo.

Speaker 1 Maple Mamba. That's a nickname.
R.J. Barrett going by the Maple Mamba.
Does he know how the Mamba came about? No. Okay.
All right. So then we'll just move on.
Yep, we'll move on. Okay.
Maple mamba is.

Speaker 1 Enough time has passed that we don't remember why Kobe became the mamba. Yes,

Speaker 1 words change over the course of the years. And mamba mentality just means good at basketball.
That's all it is. Oh, that's a weird one if you know the backstory.

Speaker 1 I guess the maple mamba, R.J. Barrett, was probably five years old when Kobe transformed into the black mamba.
The maple mamba, that's a poisonous Canadian snake. Yes.

Speaker 1 It's just when you lose your hockey stick up in a tree. It just comes.
down. That's the maple mama.
That snake comes and licks you a little bit. Yeah, it's a little annoying.

Speaker 1 It tastes a little sweet there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Wizards drafted a new best friend for Dwight Howard. Oh.
So the first Japanese player to ever be drafted in

Speaker 1 Louis Hatchamuri. His name literally means baseball-based.
Did you know that? Yes. In Japanese.
He's literally the safest pick in the draft as far as I'm concerned. Yep.

Speaker 1 He will be friends with Dwight Howard. That's all that they need.
They just need somebody that does.

Speaker 1 I feel like every team that has Dwight Howard on it, all they have to do in the draft is just pick somebody that doesn't hate Dwight Howard yet. Right.
And just give him a buddy. Give him 20 games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, give him 20 games, and that'll be fine.

Speaker 1 I wrote this down, Hank. Oh, wait, I have one more note about Kachimura.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The big upside on him was when he came over to Gonzaga and he started playing, he was very upset at his teammates because they would lie sometimes in games about when they got fouled or who the ball went off.

Speaker 1 And growing up in Japan, he was more honorable. He can't do that.
He had never heard of that before, so he would get mad at it.

Speaker 1 He was the living embodiment of that commercial where the kids like, coach, it went off me. We got to give the ball to the other team.
Right, play it fair. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's basically the Tony the Tiger commercial they play right after the Little League World Series ends. Yes.
He's sportsmanship, catch it.

Speaker 1 And you mentioned how the Bulls looked into your guy's eye and they were like, okay, this guy is going to be my guy.

Speaker 1 The Wizards never met with him. He had no idea that

Speaker 1 he had no idea the Wizards were going to draft him. You could have at least gotten Michael Jordan to come up and play one-on-one against him.

Speaker 1 I think it's complete, like, the draft workouts and all that stuff. I think it's overrated.
I kind of like that. Just because who knows?

Speaker 1 Maybe he's an awesome guy, and it's better to just not meet him, right? Yeah, yeah, who knows? Yeah, you could be pleasantly surprised. The only upside to this pick is that Grunfeld didn't make it.
So

Speaker 1 there's room for excitement. That's big.

Speaker 1 The other thing I wrote down, Hank, I had one last thing I wanted to ask you.

Speaker 4 So running pretty long on top of the show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the second time, probably PFT, the second time in history, okay, in draft history

Speaker 1 since

Speaker 1 I think actually ever, but it might, there might be some, it might have happened in like 1960 when there was fucking five colleges. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Three timer. Three

Speaker 1 picks in the top 10 from one school. Wow.
The last time that happened, University of Florida, Corey Brewer, Joe Kim Noah, and Al Horace. A dynasty of a team.
They won two titles. Yep.

Speaker 1 So Duke had three picks in the top 10. They must have won the title this year.
Absolutely. Well, if they had come back, they definitely would have won again.
Wait, I'll take that.

Speaker 1 Wait, they must have won the title. They were juniors when they left.
They must have. They didn't win their freshman year.
That had to have happened. They weren't winning their freshman year.

Speaker 1 Wait, were they competing against other juniors at the time, or were they competing against freshmen? They must have. I think it was like other juniors, right?

Speaker 1 So in this case, it was all these guys, these young guys competing against other guys. So what you're saying is that Duke had a lot of talent this year.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they were somehow out-coached in their own confidence

Speaker 1 by another team. Hold on.
They had to have at least gone to a Final Four, right? Almost. Oh, what? They did it? One free throw away.
Damn. That's crazy.
Three picks in the top ten. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 I don't know how that happens. I bring up, Hank, really quickly.
What were your thoughts on Al Horford? Because that happened to me. Oh, no, that's what, yeah, no.
What? Al Horford? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What happened? Not great. Okay.
Okay. Just not.
That's what I thought you were talking about. No, I was talking about Duke.

Speaker 1 I was making fun of Duke, but Al Horford happened to be one of the three in the last time this has happened. Yeah, it's basically just like

Speaker 1 2013 again for the Celtics. Like, it very, very quickly went from like, all right, maybe Kyrie's coming back.
Al Horford's definitely coming back.

Speaker 1 Maybe we can get someone else to like, holy shit, we're completely rebuilding. Like, we just stockpiled draft picks and are like going after Miles Turner.

Speaker 1 What is life? This league. Mike Conley goes to the city of Utah, and free agency hasn't even started.

Speaker 1 It's tough, especially because it's like Anthony Davis basically disrespected Boston, then went to LeBron. Now it's like Anthony Davis said, fuck you to Boston.
Now everyone else is saying,

Speaker 1 well, it's clutch. You must hate, like, LeBron, the hate for LeBron has to have gotten even hotter because Clutch is essentially saying that.

Speaker 1 Clutch is basically saying, Anthony Davis, you don't want to go to Boston. Yeah.
And also, let's give ourselves some credit on calling the whole Space Jam 2 thing. Yes.
If you saw that list of players

Speaker 1 that are interested in going out to the Lakers, Space Jam 2 is just, it's an excuse to pay players to book and avoid the salary cap.

Speaker 1 Polenka, that's why he doesn't have to know anything about the salary cap. All he has to know is LeBron James' cell phone number and be like, hey, is the money good? Right.
Okay, awesome.

Speaker 1 He's got a spreadsheet. Can you shave $10 million off Lola Bunny's contract and funnel it to Anthony Davis? Great, got it.

Speaker 1 He didn't hit the right arrow over long enough in his Excel spreadsheet to see the Space Jam column. So he was like, oh, dude, it's on a fucking different tab.

Speaker 1 You should have just hit it because you know that the money's there.

Speaker 1 It's in the Space Jam budget. All he's hoping for is just that he'll be like Rob Lewis stunt double.

Speaker 1 This is so Magic Johnson. I need Magic Johnson to do like a two plus two equals four tweet or something like that.
I know basic math.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out to Woge for spoiling every single pick of the draft.

Speaker 1 Didn't think he was very good this year. Last year he was a lot funnier.
The thesaurus wasn't

Speaker 1 as good as Wogel. No, he wasn't.
He was a little, something was up. So Woge, I don't know.
Last year was special. This year, eh.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do Firefest of the week. Then let's get to our interview and some Mount Rushmore with John Taffer and Jilli Bean.
Hank, why don't you start with your Fire Fest?

Speaker 1 Sure, I'll go quickly, but my Firefest was having a brain fart and thinking that the double doink was nine months ago. Yeah, yeah, okay.
I just thought of that on the spot. You take improv, Hank?

Speaker 1 That was good. Yeah, that did suck.
That was tough. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
That's good, Firefest. Yeah, I mean, well, the off-season, it does feel like it lasts longer, right? And in your defense.

Speaker 1 No, this is where, like, I don't want to admit how dumb I am. Whoa.
It was like a shit part of me that was

Speaker 1 six months. Yeah, no, in your defense, how long it takes.
In your defense, it's not like the number of years. But that was a year or a number.

Speaker 1 Right, yeah. No, it was six months ago.
Ish, yeah. Right.
It was. the months are numbers.
So, Hank just thought that six months was the gestation period of a human female.

Speaker 1 If something happened in the first month in January, one, you can just do the numbers to know how many months it's been.

Speaker 1 It's the sixth month of the year right now. Wait, you're not going to start doing the thing where you talk about your kid and you're like,

Speaker 1 the baby's 94 days. It's two days old.
My kid is

Speaker 1 36 hours old right now. No, fuck that.

Speaker 1 Fuck that. Go ahead, PFT.
You're fired. My fire fest of the week is:

Speaker 1 I ran into a little bit of trouble that that I'm a little worried about on Twitter yesterday. Oh.
And that is our new Twitter king, OJ Simpson. Oh, God.
Blocked me. Good.

Speaker 1 Good. He got rid of you.

Speaker 1 You don't need to be in this relationship. Like I told you.
It's bad. Listen, no, he'll change.
Have you noticed all the people who are doing the OJ jokes that's just so bad?

Speaker 1 Well, I did notice that most of the jokes that people were making about OJ are very unoriginal. Mine, on the other hand, were funny and they're very pointed.
OJ knows something about that.

Speaker 1 So he blocked me, and that means that my name has come across OJ Simpson's desk, and that he is not happy with it. He's got someone doing the block.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know, because if you look at the tweets that he's liking, they're tweets that OJ Simpson would like.

Speaker 1 There's no way it's probably his lawyer because he's liked his lawyer's tweets. I don't know.
I don't know what it is, but I'm a little unsettled by it.

Speaker 1 But then I started thinking about it, and I was like, what if OJ murdered me? Imagine the content that would come out of that. If O.J.
Simpson actually murdered me.

Speaker 1 I would say that it'd be like 50-50 split in America. 50% of the people would be like, oh, I really miss PFT Compter.

Speaker 1 He was so attractive and great and awesome at everything and roasted babies so handsomely. And then the other 50% would be,

Speaker 1 I am here for another O.J. Simpson murder trial.
Well, no, but people would be psyched for that. The problem is it's like sequels.
It's tough.

Speaker 1 The first one was so hot, and then part two, it's like, eh. Yeah.
Are we really going to do this again? Yeah, I've seen the documentary won a bunch of awards.

Speaker 1 Like, if there was another documentary about you, it probably wouldn't because there was already the first one. But

Speaker 1 we could, instead of court TV, we could just stream it live on barstoolgold.com slash PMT. That's true.
Go download it right now. If I get murdered,

Speaker 1 I want this is my last living will and testament. If I get murdered by O.J.
Simpson, I want the entire trial. I want the entire murder, if possible, to only be available at barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. Okay, my Fire Fest.
I had a pretty good week, but I do have two Fire Fests real quick.

Speaker 1 The first is MLB has embraced the fact that we have to eat each other's asses if Christian Yelich wins the home run derby. That was our last chance.

Speaker 1 If MLB said we can't let this event, the home run derby, become an ass-eating event. Yeah, the storyline.
Yeah. But they're leaning into the storyline.

Speaker 1 They're leaning into it, and that's a problem for us. I was hoping that someone, Bud Selig, was like, yo, we can't have these guys eating each other's asses.
We're out. We're out.

Speaker 1 Christian Yelich, you can't do this. It's fine.
Just sit out, say you have a back problem. But no, they're going the other way.

Speaker 1 They're leaning into us leaning into each other, and that is going to be a problem for us. It's a problem.
My other fire fest,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 the baby was born, and then there, so I basically, your job when the baby's born is just like, what do you need? I'll go out and get it.

Speaker 1 A block away from the hospital, there is

Speaker 1 a frozen yogurt stand. So, I've had five ice cream cones in the last two days.
Yeah, you earned it, man. And my stomach hurts so bad.
You've probably got a bunch of bad things.

Speaker 1 Every time I've gone out, like, oh, hey, do you need water? Okay, I'll go get us like water, you know, water and body armor and a quick bake. And then boom, ice cream comes.
Five.

Speaker 1 I've had five in the last two days. I've just been, and I haven't told anyone.
This is the first time I'm saying it. I've just been eating ice cream non-stop and my tum tum hurts.

Speaker 1 I like how Big Cat has gone in 20 minutes from saying he's never going to complain about stomach pain from eating wings to complaining about it immediately.

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't compare it to pregnancy, but... If I were, it's similar pain.
It's similar pain. It's very similar.
It's cool. It's a cool pain, too.
You had the belly freeze. I did want.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did. That was tough.
Yesterday

Speaker 1 I did two like an hour apart. That was a little excessive.
It was a little bit much.

Speaker 1 At that point, that's just stress eating. Yeah, I mean, that's just like, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Ice cream makes me feel better. Right.

Speaker 1 If everyone says, oh, the day your baby's born is the best day of your life, well, guess what? I better be eating ice cream. Yep.
Because I love ice cream. I have one more Fire Fest.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And that's robots.

Speaker 1 Especially VAR robots in the World Cup and the Women's World Cup. Yes.
It's ruining soccer. It is.
It is absolutely ruining soccer.

Speaker 1 I am actually of the mindset that I'm out on instant replay across the board. I think we've gone too far.
Welcome. We've gone too far.
Welcome to the good side. I've been saying it.
Fuck the robots.

Speaker 1 We need to complain about refs. Fuck the robots.
First, you know what? We applaud Kawhi Leonard. We tell him how great he is.
Next thing we know, robots have ruined the game of soccer.

Speaker 1 Yep, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interview, and then we'll do some Mount Rushmore and Jilli Bean. Before we do that, Dunkin' Go Toos.
With Dunkin' Go-Tos, you can get a great deal on two of your favorites.

Speaker 1 Two egg and cheese wraps for $2. Two bagels with cream cheese spread for $4, and two bacon, egg, and cheese croissants for $5.

Speaker 1 In my opinion, it's a pretty tough deal to beat. That's my two go-to cents.
Dunkin' go-to is a great deal for two, four, or five dollars. America runs on Dunkin'.
Participation may vary. Limited time.

Speaker 1 Offer exclusions apply. Also, make sure you tune in to the Dunkin' Barstool Duncan Awards.
What do we call those? The Dunkin Awards. Is there a Viva La Duncan? It's Viva La Duncan? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tuesday night live stream from a Dunkin Donuts in Queens. So thank you.
Shout out to Dunkin' Donuts. Great event.
We give out the awards to ourselves.

Speaker 1 So kind of a little narcissistic by us, but it's all brought to you by Dunkin' Go Tos. Go get them right now.
Great deals for two, four, or five dollars. Okay, here he is.
Jimmy

Speaker 1 Tetro. Tatro.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on someone who's actually a lot of people requested when we made our trip out to LA is Jimmy Tatro. You know him from American Vandal.
You know him from all his YouTube.

Speaker 1 He's an actor, comedian, writer. He's got a new movie coming out July 12th.
Stuber. Stuber.

Speaker 4 What is that about? Stuber is

Speaker 4 about an Uber driver who picks up a cop, and the cop is trying to chase a guy down,

Speaker 4 and the Uber driver is kind of a pushover, and the cop ends up convincing this guy to basically drive him around all night trying to capture this bad guy.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. It's like the Transporter, except kind of updated.
Yeah. Who's in it?

Speaker 4 It's Dave Batista and Kumail.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. Yeah, Batista.
That's right.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Batista is actually great. I just watched it, and like, I thought it would be funny, but I was actually very pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed the movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 It came together really well, and it's only like

Speaker 4 90 minutes. Oh, that's perfect.
Which is, I think, a perfect comedy movie time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because whenever they try to do like the, when you see 100 minutes, you know there's going to be 15 minutes where they're like, this just stretches on.

Speaker 1 They all fall in love for those 15 minutes. You're like, come on.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, seeing under 100 minutes, I'm instantly more likely to click.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 4 Like, I still haven't seen the Revenant because every time I see two hours and 45 minutes, I'm like, shit, I don't know if I have

Speaker 1 too much snow.

Speaker 1 It's too cold watching. That's the best part because you're like, I don't have enough time for this.
And then you sit and watch like 15 office reruns. Yeah, and then

Speaker 4 I sit there on my phone watching stupid shit for two and a half hours.

Speaker 4 And then I'm like, why did I I just watch any of that? I should have just watched the Revenant.

Speaker 1 How many times can you watch Leonardo DiCaprio climb inside a bear carcass? It's like, okay, the second time it happened, that was cool. Now it's like two hours in.

Speaker 4 I haven't seen it any times.

Speaker 1 Oh, spoiler alert. He wins in the end.
He climbs inside a bear. So you don't have to see it now.
All right. Well, fuck.
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's been out for a while.
Sorry, James.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know. I know.
I've missed

Speaker 4 any type of... People being nice about spoilers window on the Revenant.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 All right, so I wanted to start with you getting into YouTube because it's fascinating. Like you were an early adopter.
2011?

Speaker 4 Yeah, 2011.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 2011.
So you were you just graduated college and you're like graduated high school. Graduated high school and you started the YouTube.

Speaker 4 So I mean I started kind of making them in 2010 in high school.

Speaker 4 It was just more

Speaker 4 random shit like stuff I was doing with my friends. And

Speaker 4 I had in the back of my mind I wanted those videos to blow up and get 100,000 views.

Speaker 4 I remember like the first video I posted in high school, I would like sit there and open it in a bunch of different tabs and like try to get my view count up myself. Go to the school library.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Take it to every single desktop.

Speaker 4 I would just open a bunch of different windows. And, you know, I got, like, the video was at between me and the real people who watched it.
You know, I had wanted like a thousand views.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. My trick was pretty good.
I used to just, I used to go to the school library and I would make every single computer's homepage my YouTube page or like my website, whatever that was.

Speaker 1 And then whenever they got shut down, they'd open up again. Boom, new hit.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Hits on his system. So when you started it, were you like, this is going to be a career for me? Or were you just like, I'm fucking around and seeing where this goes?

Speaker 4 No, I kind of was, honestly, because a friend of mine in college had a friend who

Speaker 4 was a professional tuber. You know, he was...

Speaker 1 Bringing in. He was big on the tube.

Speaker 4 He was huge on the tube. At the time, he was like in the top 10 tubers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there were only 20. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 But he told me

Speaker 4 what this guy was making, and then I saw the guys.

Speaker 4 What even is that?

Speaker 1 Harrison Ford's about to crash in. In your city, dude.
What is that?

Speaker 1 Someone parasailing or something? That wouldn't be nice. That was like a plane, right? Yeah, that was a plane.

Speaker 4 Over my house, the helicopter traffic is nuts.

Speaker 1 Is that because all the drugs sell or what?

Speaker 4 I don't know. It's just like...

Speaker 4 I guess all the helicopter pathways just go straight over my house.

Speaker 1 What's up with all the car chases out here? I don't know. I feel like that's like a staple of the afternoon news is there's always like a car chase being trailed by a helicopter.

Speaker 4 That's right here. I don't watch the news, but everyone that does is like, man, there's some good car chases.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there is. There was a huge one earlier this week with a huge RV.

Speaker 4 So wait, back to the YouTube. Yeah, back to the YouTuber.

Speaker 1 You tuber.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so I heard this tuber was bringing in like 400K a month. I watched his videos.
I didn't think they were good. I had already made some videos in high school where I was kind of trying to do this.

Speaker 4 Once I heard that, and I started just kind of I was kind of developing ideas in my head. I wasn't putting them out.

Speaker 4 And then I got kind of inspired by a

Speaker 4 certain speech I heard. And what was it? It was like, honestly, it was this guy in my

Speaker 4 frat that was like giving us

Speaker 4 it sounds so stupid, but

Speaker 4 we have these, you know, when you're pledging, you have like rituals.

Speaker 4 And I fucking hated every single one of these things. But one of them was this thing where you go around the circle and everyone said their greatest desire in life.

Speaker 4 Like, what do you, at the core of you, what do you want to do?

Speaker 4 And I remember just saying what it was that I wanted to do. Everyone did.
And then at the end, this guy just gave this speech. Like, you guys all told me exactly what you want to do.

Speaker 4 You all have the tools you need. Go fucking do it.
Like that kind of a speech. Shy LaBeouf.
And I was like, yes.

Speaker 4 I'm going to do this right now.

Speaker 1 Have you thanked that guy?

Speaker 4 I have thanked him, yeah. Okay.
Because that was just kind of like, I was going to do it, but that was really like a push forward.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 Got this. And in my head, I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 I do have this. So when you said it out loud, what exactly was it? Were you like, I want to make people laugh or I want to make movies? What was it that you wanted to do?

Speaker 4 At the time, it was just like, I want to make the whole world laugh kind of a thing.

Speaker 4 I'm not sure that's exactly what it is at this point,

Speaker 4 but it's similar. It's

Speaker 4 something like that.

Speaker 1 I mean, you got a pretty fucking big YouTube page. You've been in some pretty funny shit, American Vandal.
You made a lot of people laugh. Yeah.
So you're there.

Speaker 1 You're like probably a tenth of the way there to the whole world. Hey, a tenth.
That's pretty simple. That's a lot of people.
Probably a lot of people. You don't have YouTube in China, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you need to figure out a way to make some Chinese YouTube. Yuku.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get on top of that.
So, so, at what point was it, like, did it just blow up?

Speaker 4 She laughed. She thought I was like making a joke, but it's actually called.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they've like uncultured, Kelly.

Speaker 1 Weibo, that's like their Twitter, right?

Speaker 4 Their new one. I think Yuku has since kind of

Speaker 4 is no longer cool.

Speaker 1 Not enough people like chugging glue on it and shit like that.

Speaker 4 I don't know what's hot out there.

Speaker 1 Because that's like the brick and mortar of YouTube. It's like dudes, you know, like, remember Shoonice, who would like chug, he would chug like Elmer's glue and shit.

Speaker 1 And then also like the people who create like deep fakes and

Speaker 1 static fakes again.

Speaker 1 Deep fakes, where you take somebody and and you can create like a computer animation of their face and so it looks just like them you can have them doing anything so it's like you can ruin somebody's career if you make a good enough deep fakes our big thing

Speaker 1 yeah our big thing for our YouTube page is we like to do like if something big happens in the news like there was a mafia guy who got shot and killed in New York so we did a YouTube like exclusive footage of mafia boss getting shot and then it's just a picture of him and like us reading his Wikipedia behind it.

Speaker 1 You know how people always like search it and then they're like, fuck, you got me. But we got the count.

Speaker 1 We're going to have like 100,000 views, maybe like 12 up votes and 2,000 down votes, but we still got the clicks.

Speaker 4 So is this an episode of behind the clickbait right here?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should do that. You should be like, Batista's cock, exclusive footage from Stuber.
Speaking of clickbait, I got a question for you because we're still feeling out this whole YouTube thing.

Speaker 1 What's up with the YouTube thumbnails? Why do they always have that very certain aesthetic look?

Speaker 4 It's like a clickbait thing, you know? It's like uh

Speaker 4 that's like if you're doing a news story that's your headline that's your attention grabbing headline you know so it's like YouTube is kind of like the national inquirer you know in the sense that they just put the most ridiculous thing that you're most likely to click in the title and thumbnail

Speaker 4 And you can do it like that. That just has never really been my

Speaker 4 style.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the attractive female, and then she's just not even in the video. Yeah, that's a good one.
Horny dudes are like, you know what they do? They make them tits. They make it.

Speaker 1 You know where to find these. Like candy almost.
It's like very attractive, bright colors for kids.

Speaker 1 But yeah, no, you bring up a good point because the stuff that you do is really well written, really well produced. It's very different from a lot of

Speaker 1 other, I guess, YouTubers out there. So like, was that a struggle for you to differentiate yourself?

Speaker 1 Be like, yes, I'm a YouTuber, but I'm actually putting out quality content that you might see, you know, on more traditional forms of media.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was because

Speaker 4 what i do doesn't really work that well on youtube i mean it did it's not like i didn't do well on youtube but there was always this pressure from like my manager and just seeing what did well to

Speaker 4 talk to the camera and you know do after the video make sure to like and subscribe things and it was all these things that i just

Speaker 4 didn't really

Speaker 4 didn't feel right

Speaker 4 but it was

Speaker 4 what I was supposed to do on YouTube to it was like little things you could do that would help,

Speaker 4 but they just didn't feel right. So it was kind of hard for me to find that balance of what I'm comfortable doing that still works on YouTube.
And I honestly never really found it

Speaker 4 that much. Right.

Speaker 4 I still don't really know what that balance is. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Which is one of the reasons I'm not really on YouTube right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. But you have the Real Boys is Real Bros.
Real Bros, sorry.

Speaker 1 I was watching it. I was watching it on YouTube.

Speaker 4 Well, season one's on YouTube. Okay.
But season two is on Facebook. And season three will be on Facebook.

Speaker 1 All right. So I have a question about the Real Bros and the characters you write there.
First of all, you have a few guys you work with. Do you guys all get together?

Speaker 1 And Nick Coletti and the other name is Blaine. I write the whole thing with Christian Pierce.

Speaker 4 Okay. Just me and him.

Speaker 4 So yeah, that's who I write it with.

Speaker 4 We wrote all 10 episodes last season.

Speaker 1 So when you season one. Yeah, so when you write these characters, how much of

Speaker 1 their, like the character you write, is there like a little bit of truth in like you yourself? Or is it just people you have noticed in Southern California that you're kind of riffing off with?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's more the people in Southern California. I wouldn't say there's any of me in like.

Speaker 1 Not even a little bit? Because we do the thing where we make fun of sports fans and like how stupid sports are.

Speaker 1 But at the end of the day, like I am kind of a guy who's like, hey, like, throw it the fucking, you know, throw at the other guy, you know, in baseball or fighting hockey and shit like that.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 4 As far as the problems and the things that they go through, most of the funny situations we come up with are based on real experiences or to a certain extent based on real experiences.

Speaker 4 But the mannerisms of the characters and the characters themselves, like,

Speaker 4 I don't relate to my character at all. He's like the opposite of

Speaker 4 me. But a lot of times I feel like if I'm playing a character, it's either a version of myself or just the opposite version of myself.

Speaker 4 It's either a stance that I like agree with or it's a guy that has a voice that I just completely disagree with.

Speaker 1 So is it weird when people come up to you in public and they're like, they're expecting you to be

Speaker 1 one of the real bros?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, honestly, though, I was talking about this with one of my friends the other day. People have gotten so much cooler since

Speaker 4 I first started off. Like when I first started on YouTube, it was everyone thought I was the frat guy.

Speaker 4 You know, I made these frat videos and I made the mistake of calling myself, just using my real name, Jimmy, you know? Like I should have called myself fucking Todd, Jimmy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But instead, I called myself Jimmy. So it was like, you know, you come with me on the street, start treating me like I'm that guy.
I'm like, that's not really me.

Speaker 4 And they'd be like, well, is your name not Jimmy? Well, no, it is.

Speaker 4 Are you not in a frat? Well, no, I'm

Speaker 1 in a frat. Dude, it's like character.
It's not like every other frat. Yeah.
Jimmy and the frat, not frat Jimmy. Yeah.
Totally different. But

Speaker 1 no, we do get that a lot ourselves, too. It's like I have a lot of fun playing a douchebag sometimes.

Speaker 1 It's fun. It is the most fun, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a funny character to play. But people have since kind of

Speaker 4 get it now. I don't know.
Like, I've,

Speaker 4 it took took me so long to just kind of get out of that being the frat guy in college. Right.
And I didn't do, I mean, I haven't done frat videos in it's been so long now.

Speaker 4 So it's like, I'm so far away from that. And I think people have realized, you know, I'm writing these characters and

Speaker 4 directing the show. Like, I'm probably not that guy

Speaker 1 at this point.

Speaker 1 Are you going to do the thing where you go like 180 degrees in the opposite direction and star in like a psychological thriller or just just like a romance movie or something like that to like shed off, like get rid once and for all of the frat star thing.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 4 I wouldn't say 180, but I am, I am kind of trying to diversify my portfolio a little bit. I don't only want to do

Speaker 4 comedy necessarily.

Speaker 4 As far as acting goes, I'm down to being other stuff. Just comedy is what I'm,

Speaker 4 you know, what's kind of getting me in the door right now.

Speaker 1 So you're writing a screenplay. What's it about?

Speaker 1 uh right like uh you are you thinking are you assuming i'm writing some kind of crazy yeah dark yeah and you said you either when you said you're diversifying your portfolio you're not just into comedy i was like either he's buying a lot of bitcoin or he's writing a fucking screenplay ethereum baby yes yes

Speaker 4 no uh not like with writing really right now i'm still most i'm just writing comedies um i'll get to a point where i'm interested in writing other stuff.

Speaker 4 I just, right now, the comedy ideas in my head are all the priorities.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 I just meant more with with acting. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because acting is something

Speaker 4 I'm not going to say I care less about,

Speaker 4 but

Speaker 4 you know, when it comes to other people's stuff, I'm down to come in and play a different kind of character as opposed to writing it and dedicating, you know, a month towards writing something. Right.

Speaker 1 How do you keep all the ideas in your head? Like, do they just, how does a creative process kind of work for you? I know that's a lame question.

Speaker 4 Well, I have like probably like 1,400 notes in my phone, like on the notes app.

Speaker 1 Okay. You want to read some?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I have some weird ones.

Speaker 1 Do it.

Speaker 4 There's some that I read, and I'm like, I wrote that down at 3 a.m.

Speaker 1 Let's workshop it.

Speaker 4 Let's see. You know, I got a lot of to-do lists in here.

Speaker 1 I wrote a note down this morning at 4. I woke up and I was like, oh, shit, I need to write some notes because Jimmy Tatrow is coming in.
Can I read you my idea?

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're gonna hate it. Definitely read me your idea.

Speaker 1 It's very fratty.

Speaker 1 It's the notebook, but you guys are a frat and a little sister of the fraternity, and she has dementia. No, no, you have dementia, and she has to keep updating your cooler that she designs for you

Speaker 1 every week. Yeah, she keeps updating to remind you how you fell in love that one time.

Speaker 4 That's that's good. That's not bad, right? It's not bad.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 he hated it. Let's see.
That's all. That's actually all I have.
I mean,

Speaker 1 we can riff. Yeah.
You want to riff?

Speaker 1 We have a movie that we're out in market to when you know Adam Sandler. Yeah, you know Adam Sandler.
So Zach Efron's attached. Yeah, Zach Efron's loosely attached.
Wow. Yeah, it's called Boner Dogs.

Speaker 4 Boner Dogs. Yeah.
Boner Dogs. Zach Efron is loosely attached.

Speaker 1 We have discussed it with him.

Speaker 4 And he said...

Speaker 1 It sounds interesting. Well, he was like, yeah, he was, yeah.
Actually,

Speaker 1 he was really into it. Yeah, he was into it.
He looked us in our eyes. Yeah.
That's what he did. He was like, I can tell that you're passionate about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if you want to get loosely attached, but actually, you already are loosely attached just by sitting here.

Speaker 4 Loosely attached is a good name for something.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Good band name.
We basically just pitch it to him. Then we're like, now you're loosely attached.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Loosely attached.
Good band name. I think I want to name like a movie that or you know an album.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Maybe that's the movie.
You go around Hollywood and you just tell the movie script to people and then you go to the next person. It's like a pyramid scheme for a movie.

Speaker 1 That's like loosely attached.

Speaker 4 Have you seen movie 43? No, dude, someone told me to watch that, and I just threw it on last night because it was on Netflix. And that's kind of what it is: the guy like explaining his movie concept.

Speaker 4 And it's like about a movie that fucking is ridiculous. That all his ideas are crazy.

Speaker 4 Like, one of them is Hugh Jackman, who's like a bachelor guy, and he's on a blind date, and he takes his scarf off, and he has a ball sack on his neck. And it's him and Kate Winslet.

Speaker 4 Like, all the cameos are just

Speaker 4 A-list stars, but it's like this sketch about him at dinner, like

Speaker 4 spilling stuff on his ball sack chin.

Speaker 1 I was with my buddy.

Speaker 4 He's like, What the absolute fuck are we watching?

Speaker 1 That's great. That's a great idea.

Speaker 1 Actually, we had an idea coming into this week. This is at the tail end of Grit Week.
We do a road trip every year.

Speaker 1 I wanted to make a TV show based on the movie Entourage.

Speaker 1 What are your thoughts?

Speaker 4 That took me a second. I was like,

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 gotcha. Take it from the big screen, put it on the small screen, adapt it, but

Speaker 1 it's not based on the TV. Yeah, it's not the TV show entourage.
It's the movie. It's the movie Entourage.

Speaker 1 It's Entourage 3. What would that be 3? But it has nothing to do with the TV show.
No.

Speaker 4 I love what the problems were in Entourage.

Speaker 4 You know, like if you think about, you know, you watch the episode and you think, what was the problem they had to solve? And it's like, man, fuck, Vince.

Speaker 4 They want you to do Aquaman and this other movie,

Speaker 1 but we don't know if you can do both.

Speaker 1 And he's leaning towards not doing Aquaman.

Speaker 4 It's like, wait, guys, we figured it out. Vince can do both.
He's getting $50 million.

Speaker 1 All right. Every episode is like that.

Speaker 4 That came together.

Speaker 1 And then you just like, and then you put in there, like, turtle smokes a little weed, Johnny Drama fights with like a parking attendant, and E gets mad at his girlfriend. And that's the show.

Speaker 4 You feel like you could just like you come up with a great. I saw someone actually used to write like entourage spec scripts as jokes, and they were all so on point.

Speaker 1 So, so on point. Yeah, it's pretty, yeah, it's pretty good.
Like, Johnny Drama gets caught jerking off in a new place. Yeah, like he has to smooth that out with the local officials.

Speaker 1 It's pretty basic stuff, but it wasn't.

Speaker 4 Eric shows up. What the hell are you doing, man? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? Guys, guys.

Speaker 4 I didn't think they could see me.

Speaker 1 It's a two-way weird. Ari's pissed off at his wife.
Yeah, because you won't do anal or something, like something super graphic.

Speaker 4 Call Ari. He's stressing, throws his phone.
Lloyd Pokemon. Go to Vince on set.

Speaker 1 Vince is having trouble finding his inner character.

Speaker 4 He's finding his character because he's having too much sex. Yeah.
You know, he's having trouble finding his character because of all the sex he's been having with his new hot Flynn.

Speaker 4 So what's the move? Are you going to stop having so much sex?

Speaker 4 Or are you going to find your character mini?

Speaker 1 So the Johnny Drama shows up and he says something really stupid, but it really resonates with Vince. And he's like, oh,

Speaker 1 there's my

Speaker 1 shit. I can have all this sex and getting character.
Problem solved. Problem solved.
Turtle's pissed off because his new girlfriend used to date one of the other guys in the crew. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He can't get over it. And he's just been playing too many video games.
Fuck. You should definitely do Entourage.

Speaker 1 You want to do Entourage the TV show? Yeah. Yeah.
Loosely attached. You're in Loosely Attached.
Entourage the movie the TV show. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 I looked up, I did a lot of research on you. I looked up your urban dictionary definition.
Do you know what it is?

Speaker 4 Of Jimmy Tatro.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Tatro.

Speaker 1 The fucking man. That's it.
Whoa. That's a pretty solid urban dictionary.
That's pretty sick. You didn't even get your chest shit on there.
Wow.

Speaker 1 I actually submitted that like two weeks ago, so I'm surprised it's already up there. Use it in a sentence example.
Was like, who is Jimmy Tatro? Answer, the fucking man.

Speaker 1 That's pretty damn good.

Speaker 1 And then I also dug really deep. I went back to your high school basketball career.
Oh, no. So, did you know? I just Googled your name.
It was on the second page.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's okay. I want to clear some things up here.

Speaker 1 Okay, your max preference. Let's get into it.
Do you know how many points per game you average?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it said on there. I know what it says.
Okay. Because people have brought it up.

Speaker 1 It says 1.7. I know.
I know. It's pretty good.

Speaker 4 But you may have noticed there was only two games clocked.

Speaker 1 There were 10.

Speaker 4 And they were both two bad games. Right.
So you were talking about. I'm not saying I was out here averaging 20.

Speaker 4 I didn't.

Speaker 4 My coach didn't really like me. We had not a great relationship.

Speaker 1 Wait, fact check. I'm not good at math, but I'm thinking if there were only two games, isn't that impossible to average 1.7 points per game?

Speaker 1 Because I think it said there were 10.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine. There were 10.
I can't do that.

Speaker 4 10 points total?

Speaker 1 No, no, 10 games. 1.7 points per game.
So you're going to get to the point. I know.

Speaker 4 Because I looked into this because people brought this up. I told a basketball story about the time I scored.
It was a game where I had 40 points. People were all hitting me up.

Speaker 4 You're lying. You only average 1.7 points a game.
And I was like, well, A, it was in a fucking tournament that

Speaker 1 I'm referring to.

Speaker 4 And B,

Speaker 4 they only clocked like, maybe it was three. I don't know.
There was.

Speaker 1 Sums up. Sums up.

Speaker 4 I didn't average that much. I averaged like eight points a game.

Speaker 1 Okay. What was your game like? Who was it like?

Speaker 4 I was a three-point shooter.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 I didn't play much on my high school team.

Speaker 1 Because your coach hated you.

Speaker 4 And tournaments and camps was where I had my time to shine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. AAU camps ruined everything.
ABC, the McDonald's All-American game. That's where

Speaker 1 you were in that.

Speaker 4 You didn't quite make it to the campus.

Speaker 1 They don't count that on your max prep stats. Yes.

Speaker 4 They don't count ABCD camp.

Speaker 4 I was not there.

Speaker 1 Like I said, it's better than Skip Bayless. He had 1.4 points per game.
1.4. There you go.

Speaker 4 Well, I did have more. I did average more than 1.7.
I'm not saying it was a lot, but it was like closer to 8.

Speaker 1 We're going to look into that. That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 All right, so before you sat down, I gave you a little heads up about this. So I have a long-standing phobia for California teenagers.

Speaker 1 And Southern California teenagers mostly, I think NorCal, maybe too. I don't even know.

Speaker 1 But it's the idea that in California, when you grow up, where you obviously grew up, you are like 14, like banging MILFs, smoking weed, surfing, and you're cooler than everyone else.

Speaker 1 And it feels like a lot of the culture and lingo of America originates in California. Do you think that's accurate? Do you think my phobia is real, or is it totally made up?

Speaker 4 Well, I feel like your phobia is more of the current 14-year-olds

Speaker 4 rather than when I was 14. Okay.
Because shit is way different now. Kids are, you know, vaping and jeweling and

Speaker 4 class.

Speaker 4 I'm scared of these kids as well. Yes.

Speaker 4 These kids were not around when I was 14.

Speaker 1 Right. What was the scene like when you were a kid?

Speaker 4 Well, I mean, when I was a kid, my life was, it was just very simple. You know, like when I was 12, 14, like, all I did was skate.

Speaker 1 That's, that's all I did all day. Yeah, that's fucking cool.

Speaker 4 That was just, I grew up, I didn't, you know, we didn't have social media. I didn't have a phone until like freshman year of high school.

Speaker 4 So all I did all day was I woke up and we just skated for like six hours hours a day, me and two of my friends.

Speaker 4 It was like the fucking Jonah Hill movie, mid-90s, honestly. Like that was, and it was even like the way that squad was set up.
It was like, that was how my squad was.

Speaker 4 There was the, I was the younger dude. Everyone was like five years older than me.
There's one dude, AJ, the black dude, was like really good at skating, like the dude in the movie.

Speaker 4 And then there was the other kid who was more of like a kind of fuck around. Right.
In my version, that kid wasn't as anywhere near as good as fuck shit. Okay.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 But like, and then there was that other kid who, like, Ruben or whatever. Yeah.
He had that version of the kid who was like a tentative, kind of pissed off, shy guy. Right.

Speaker 4 Like, it was just weird how that,

Speaker 4 how that movie was pretty, that was like my life growing up.

Speaker 1 I think you actually just described skate entourage. Skate entourage.
All those

Speaker 1 entourage. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Is that the

Speaker 1 martial arts? And you were baby bro and you turned into the movie star. That's exactly it.
That is exactly it.

Speaker 1 But wait, so that's intimidating, though because you were just skating around as like a 12 year old and if you were someone who like came out and visited la

Speaker 1 and you passed your your crew you probably fucking made fun of them and like well see i was

Speaker 4 those kids definitely partied more i wasn't partying like that i was just skating right you know and then you know we'd go to we'd skate to venice beach and before they had the big skate park and it was just like a little one little ramp and then like a rail to grind and the cops would get called and you had to run.

Speaker 4 Well, that would happen when we were like at

Speaker 4 a middle school or, you know, skating around in like a playground or something.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Shopping mall.
So you think, so am I way off then? I mean, I really do think that California, something about California, when you're a kid, you're just cooler than everywhere else.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's the ocean.

Speaker 4 Well, I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 4 I mean, I was intimidated by those kids too growing up.

Speaker 4 When you go to Venice Skate Park and there's you know, these 12, 14-year-old kids who are just unreal at skating and they're kind of dicks about it. Yes.
And you're like, I'm 25. Why am I...

Speaker 1 Yeah, why am I scared of this?

Speaker 4 Why am I scared of this? He's 12.

Speaker 1 Why do I want this kid to like me?

Speaker 1 He's fucking 15. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. I want to jump back real quick to Adam Sandler.

Speaker 1 Where did you guys first meet? Because he took a liking to you pretty early on, right?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 4 we've only done one movie together. Grown-ups 2? Grown-ups 2.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 he

Speaker 4 saw one of my early videos. I think

Speaker 4 Dennis, his director, showed it to him. I went to school with his son.
So I would imagine that the son showed the dad, the dad showed Adam. is my guess.
Right. I don't know for sure.

Speaker 1 That shit happens to us all the time, too. Where it's like a son of someone powerful is like, oh, I like these guys.
Yeah, if your dad's famous and you're listening right now, hook us up. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that might actually help. That actually will help.
Something will come up. Hook us all up.

Speaker 4 Because, you know, they listen to their kids. Their kids know what's going on.
Right. Base a lot of things they're doing off of their kids.

Speaker 4 And you can tell in these shows that this writer didn't actually know what was going on. He's just listening to his 12-year-old son's interpretation of how the world is.

Speaker 4 You know, his dad sat down and was like, hey, son, we're doing a movie. Can you give me some tips on Instagram?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Son's like, well, hashtags. He's like, well, hashtags?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Keep going. Hashtag? Okay.
It happens all the time in Law and Order when they have like a fake app that they show that like a killer is using. It's like, oh, this is Snapface.

Speaker 1 It's basically like the Bill Belichick names where, oh, look at this kid.

Speaker 1 He's on grinding.com. You know, like that sort of thing.

Speaker 4 Wait, we can connect all these suspects using hashtags.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like, well, what does that even mean? What does that even mean? The bot network is live.
Yeah. Yes.
All right. So you met Adam Sandler the first time.
Were you like starstruck or?

Speaker 4 Yeah, for sure. I mean, getting the set of Grown Ups 2 was,

Speaker 4 that was wild. That was my first movie.
And I show up and it's, you know, Adam Sandler, David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James, like all these comedic legends. I'm just like,

Speaker 4 I was, I was shook.

Speaker 4 And then I remember Adam kind of, like, I showed up to set and Adam Adam kind of pulled me aside and was like, hey, man, nice to meet you and ask me questions about my YouTube thing and

Speaker 4 just kind of chopped it up with him for a little bit. And I remember walking away, like, that was fucking cool.
Like, he knew who I was and was asking me questions about YouTube. Right.

Speaker 4 So that was, yeah, I mean, it was just a great experience. And it was just.

Speaker 4 Really getting thrown headfirst. And it wasn't like I started with, you know, an indie movie or eased my way into seeing the difference between YouTube and real productions.

Speaker 4 It was like both ends of the spectrum right away.

Speaker 4 I go from doing these little flip cam frat videos to being on

Speaker 4 a huge screen on like an 85 million dollar comedy budget, which is nuts.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 1 Can you go back to doing like the flip phone type videos or like the frat videos after you've already been on the big screen? You're like looked at as a legit movie talent now?

Speaker 1 Like, is it going to be tough for you if you want to go back to YouTube and do something like real, real low-budget?

Speaker 4 It really depends on what it is, if that works with the kind of video. But generally speaking, I'm not really

Speaker 4 trying to do anything that looks

Speaker 4 less than what I'm capable of doing at this point.

Speaker 4 I want to maintain a certain level of production quality at this point.

Speaker 1 And people over the course of the YouTube career have

Speaker 4 gotten mad at me for that and been like, This is too high production value. Like, I don't like the production value of being this high.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Like, what? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We wrestle with that all the time because we've been around for forever. And they're like, you know, a lot of our friends are like, I liked it when everything broke and it sucked.
You couldn't hear.

Speaker 1 And the sound quality sucks. Like, I kind of like it when things work.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like, I'm glad you appreciated that part of the journey, but it's our job to keep growing and getting better at this. And I have no interest in going backwards at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because if you did go back, so like we used to do our show on Skype, and the sound quality was garbage, like real trash. On Skype? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's where we started.

Speaker 1 You've been there.

Speaker 1 And occasionally people would be like, man, I missed the Skype. I missed when you guys would just like have a two-second lag in between your sentences.

Speaker 1 And I know Dan's dog would be barking in the background and stuff. And yeah, there is like a little bit of nostalgia for that.

Speaker 1 But if we went back to it, you know, 90% of the audience would be like, what the fuck is this? This is trash. What are you guys doing? So, yeah, I understand that.
I think that's probably smart.

Speaker 1 Like, you don't want to go back to something that's that is less than what you're capable of. And it sounds like you have aspirations that are like beyond doing short stuff on YouTube, too.

Speaker 1 So I think that's probably just a healthy progression of your career.

Speaker 4 I mean, I've always looked at YouTube as kind of a

Speaker 4 I mean, a full-time job for a long time, but also like a resume, you know, all those sketches are on your resume, it's almost like a reel for people to come and watch.

Speaker 4 And the way I think about it now is if someone, you know, a director that might cast me in a movie or a producer that might pick up a show I'm pitching, if they type in my name on YouTube, I want what I want them to be impressed by what they're seeing.

Speaker 4 And I do care about,

Speaker 4 you know, the main priority with uploading something on YouTube is that all the fans, all the subscribers are happy with it.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 the only difference in appealing to like casting directors or producers is just that I just want it to look better, which should be a win-win for

Speaker 1 everyone, right? Right. Um, I have some uh lingo that I wanted to throw your way and tell me if it's cool or not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see, look, I'm already getting fucking you're doing the thing where I just like I told you my deep, dark fears, and then you're just throwing it back in my face.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just lingo.

Speaker 1 That's your deepest darkest fear. Uh,

Speaker 1 tell me if we're still doing these things because

Speaker 1 I'm out of touch with everything. Like, the Sudude thing,

Speaker 1 our producers put us onto that like six months after it was cool. Right.
And we wrote it hard

Speaker 1 for like a year, dude. It was awesome.
It was awesome. It's so late in the game.
So late that it was funny because we were like,

Speaker 1 dude, that hasn't been cool for a really long time. And we were just wanting

Speaker 1 funnier, you know?

Speaker 4 It's funny to not be in on the hype when it's hot. Right.
You know, it wouldn't be right.

Speaker 1 Catch it way later, catch it way later, and then bring it back.

Speaker 4 Yeah, revive it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we would be spotted as frauds immediately if we were like riding the actual wave. Yeah.
But the fact that we were late, they're like, okay, these guys are lame, but comically lame.

Speaker 1 Yeah, comically late to everything. All right, so I'll throw a couple out.
Hella, do we still say that?

Speaker 4 That's always been a Bay Area.

Speaker 1 That's a NorCal thing. NorCal.
Yeah. Stoked.

Speaker 4 Stoked. Yeah, I say stoked.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tell me also how many of these things you say, like, in your.

Speaker 4 I said stoked is, you know,

Speaker 4 I've always said stoked.

Speaker 1 Is that a West Coast? You said stoked when you were like six.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, you know, you landed that trick. I mean, I was stoked.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, everyone came out. All we did was do this all day.
It was great. I was stoked.

Speaker 1 Stoked. What about clutch?

Speaker 4 Clutch?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Clutch has always been

Speaker 4 clutch. I've said clutch for a long time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Post-up?

Speaker 1 Post-up,

Speaker 4 I don't say as seriously. Some of these lingo terms I use, but not in like a serious

Speaker 1 way. That's like something that your character and Real Bros would say.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, he definitely says post-anders definitely says post-up. I say post-up from time to time, but post-up can be kind of douchey depending on the context.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you ever find yourself using

Speaker 1 lingo that you wrote for your character as a joke in real life and being like, damn, like do you ever live? Do you even burn? Yeah, like you gotta say that up to someone.

Speaker 4 You gotta be wary of that because you start saying things as a joke, and that's how they start. That's how you start saying things.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.

Speaker 4 And then you're like, oh, wait, now I actually say this. Yeah.
Am I a douche?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Exactly. What about Siebs? Do you say Siebs? Siebs? Oh, I'm going to teach you something.
Siebs, it's actually real big in Australia and Asia right now. It's coming over slowly.
It's not big.

Speaker 1 It's trickling. You can ride this wave over.
That's when you just can't be fucked to do anything. It's like you're just chilling out of your place.

Speaker 4 See,

Speaker 1 Siebs. Can't even, I think it stands for can't even be be shitted.

Speaker 1 It's an Australian thing, just means you can't even be.

Speaker 4 I don't know if I'm going to hop on that way. No, you should.

Speaker 1 Don't. You should.

Speaker 4 We'll see. I'll see if he presses.

Speaker 4 And if I'm looking at it and I still want to get on it, then I'll

Speaker 1 hop on.

Speaker 1 Good call. See,

Speaker 1 because it's going to be just a little fucking ripple. You know what you're doing?

Speaker 4 But I'm not going to paddle.

Speaker 1 You're Siebs on Siebs.

Speaker 4 I'm Siebs on Siebs. Yes.

Speaker 1 What's Steeves mean? Steeze? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Steeze is, I recently found out the actual translation is style with ease. Oh.
But I always just knew it meant like if you, if you have,

Speaker 4 if you land a trick and it's really smooth,

Speaker 4 it's just like a guy on a skateboard who has a lot of style or on a snowboard. It's just like, you know, if he just,

Speaker 4 if he's just shredding, you know, buttering these landings, the guy has Steve's.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, if he's just got his hands down,

Speaker 4 not even needing to flail them on his tricks. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Steeze. Stease.
What's about rad?

Speaker 4 Rad? Rad is a less serious word I use.

Speaker 1 Like, that's freaking rad, bro. Right.
Okay, so that's mocking.

Speaker 1 Sketchy.

Speaker 4 Sketchy. Yeah.
Sketchy is, you know, shit and so shady. Something's up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I went to that thing. It was honestly kind of sketch.

Speaker 1 Okay, my last one was,

Speaker 1 well, I have two more. What's the difference between bro, brah, and bruh?

Speaker 4 Okay, bruh is

Speaker 4 that's the new modern 14-year-olds that you're scared of.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 You know, that's bruh. Is

Speaker 4 I'm not a big brah guy. I hate the word bruh.
Right. B-R-U-H.

Speaker 1 H, yeah. Hate it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Bruh is like B-R-E-H.

Speaker 1 Or Bruh.

Speaker 1 Bruh. I also hate bra.
Okay. I didn't know that existed.
Bra.

Speaker 4 Bra is like a joking.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is that bra? Brah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Brah.

Speaker 4 You know, it's never, I'm never like seriously like, what's up, bra?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Okay.

Speaker 4 And then bro.

Speaker 1 I say bro. Yeah, bro,

Speaker 4 I wish I said it less, but it's one of those things that just sometimes I start a sentence with it where I'm like, bro, look at this.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, I'm starting it with bro, but it just doesn't seem like I'm saying that.

Speaker 1 The best is when you do it to chicks, and you're like, bro, bro. You're like, wait, what up, dude? I'm calling chicks dudes.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What about Brit?

Speaker 1 Brit? Brit. It's like South African.
Yeah. Yeah.
B-R-I-H.

Speaker 1 Oh, South.

Speaker 1 What's Sabre?

Speaker 4 That sounds Australian. Sopré.

Speaker 1 What's your go-to handshake to dap somebody up?

Speaker 4 It's the slap and drag and tug.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you don't pound after it. No, I don't pound after it.

Speaker 4 I'm just, I just leave it. Do you snap it? Oh, you're a snapper?

Speaker 1 I'm not a snapper.

Speaker 4 No, I'm just a slap, drag, tug.

Speaker 1 No pound.

Speaker 4 No pound out of it.

Speaker 1 You change your handshake.

Speaker 4 Because I feel like the tug is that's the period at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good. That's a nice little

Speaker 4 having two punctuations on your sentences.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. But then you blow it up.
Yeah. And then it's now your.

Speaker 4 Yeah, then you just. I honestly, I'm more of just a, you know, I'm fucking.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's a slap. I'm a double slapper these days.
I just fucking get it out of here. I like that one.
I like that one.

Speaker 1 Oh, my last one was

Speaker 1 what's the difference between a kickback? And this is from Real Bros, which everyone should watch. It's fucking hilarious.

Speaker 1 A kickback and a party.

Speaker 4 Okay, so a kickback is

Speaker 4 a kickback's more of a casual,

Speaker 4 you know, like the amount of people we have here right now. Are we doing a kickback? It could be a kickback, you know, maybe have like three more people, but with an intention of drinking.

Speaker 4 You know, it's more of just a

Speaker 4 chill sesh. Maybe you have some music going.

Speaker 4 It's not a full function.

Speaker 4 It's not a party.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 You know, there's no dance floor at a kickback.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 The kickback is just

Speaker 4 more of a music talking kind of ad. Okay.
The party is where you're opening up the dance floor. You have a DJ.

Speaker 4 It's a thing. It's a function.

Speaker 1 Once a Red Solo Cup makes an appearance, what is that?

Speaker 4 It could still be a kickback.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you play beer pong at a kickback.

Speaker 4 You can play beer pong at a kickback for sure.

Speaker 1 What's the amount of people that takes it from a kickback to a party?

Speaker 4 I would say once you go from 15, 20 to 30,

Speaker 4 it's starting to look like a party.

Speaker 1 What's like two or three people just just drinking listen to music is that a hang i think that's a hang sash

Speaker 1 you had a dog maybe it's a kickback yeah maybe if there's a dog in the building it could be a kickback but i mean this could be a kickback okay so we could be having a kickback yeah we're kickbacking with jimmy chopped it up um all right that's all i had do you have any other ones no i think that's it this is awesome man oh you had uh

Speaker 1 0.1 assists per game too i forgot to mention that oh this guy he's just trying to bring up that sucks all my

Speaker 1 no listen i do have listen i think this doesn't haunt me every day? Yes.

Speaker 1 You think I don't hurt myself on Max Preps every day, hoping it changes?

Speaker 1 Max Preps is such, it's the weirdest website in the world because it's run by a bunch of 50-year-olds keeping stats on like 14-year-old boys.

Speaker 4 Dude, you should actually do that.

Speaker 1 Like Mr. 3000, the Bernie Mac movie.
You should go back to high school to try to up your

Speaker 1 seven points. Did you see my Max Preps profile photo, though?

Speaker 4 No, I did. I spotted the photographer from across the way, and it was like during a free throw, and I just did this.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it ridiculously phonogenic.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I thought it was so funny, but like, it doesn't really translate. It's just like, what is he doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, why is he looking at the team?

Speaker 4 He's in the middle of a game. It's funny.
He's just like,

Speaker 4 what is this pose? Was that what he chose for the basketball photo shoot?

Speaker 1 For this team photo?

Speaker 1 That's what he went with? Oh, man. That's perfect.
All right. I did have one last question.
See Keek question, promo code take. You get $10 off your SeatKeek purchase.
Clout Chasers.

Speaker 4 Wait, okay.

Speaker 4 You hate them?

Speaker 1 I don't want to hang out with them.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How'd you spot a clout chaser?

Speaker 4 You can tell, man.

Speaker 1 Are we clout chasers?

Speaker 4 Nah, I don't think so. We would have tagged you before you guys would have taken some kind of video by now.

Speaker 1 Oh, like when you walked in, we would have been like, Jimmy's in the house. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You know, I would have walked in and you would have been like,

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 what's up, guys?

Speaker 1 Jimmy just got here. Jimmy's in the house.

Speaker 4 And then you would have said what's up to me on camera and then been like this. Okay,

Speaker 1 all right, yeah, fuck clout chasers.

Speaker 1 Follow me back, follow me back.

Speaker 4 Okay, cool. And then you would have been like, All right, cool.

Speaker 4 What's up, man?

Speaker 1 Thanks for coming.

Speaker 1 What was that? Yeah, what the fuck? All right, so we're not clout chasers.

Speaker 4 No, you're not cloud chasers.

Speaker 1 I'm a cloud chaser a little bit with memes. I try to get into memes real late.

Speaker 1 Like, you post the memes? Yeah, I create the memes, but I purposely make them as terrible as possible and

Speaker 1 misrepresent what the actual meme should be. And that makes its own meme.
So it's kind of like a second wave clout chasing. Yeah, like we're saying, Sudu.

Speaker 1 We're just now getting on to the meme of the guy turning around and looking at the girl while his girlfriend's mad.

Speaker 4 I'm hearing more trend chasing.

Speaker 1 Trend chasing.

Speaker 4 Clout chasing to me is you guys are just in it. for the followers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Yeah, which we're not that.

Speaker 1 Wait, but is it a trend chase when you can't even see the trend because you're so far behind?

Speaker 4 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 It's like a new race starting their own wave. Yes, exactly.
It's like a fire hide or a fire truck goes by and we're a dog and the fire is already being put out and we're five blocks away.

Speaker 1 We're still chasing it. We'll never get up to it.
Like three months ago, we tired really high and tried to watch SpongeBob to make our own new memes. It didn't really work.
Right. But

Speaker 4 we were there. But how was the SpongeBob?

Speaker 1 It was the first time we'd ever watched it. It was really good.
Stop. We haven't seen SpongeBob.
No, we're a little bit older. We're both 34.
Two years, right?

Speaker 1 Just a little bit like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was us. Okay.
You were SpongeBob.

Speaker 4 I was SpongeBob. But I also never watched SpongeBob, you know? So there you go.

Speaker 1 You just know the memes.

Speaker 4 I watched like Pokemon. That was what I cared about.

Speaker 1 Okay. How come SpongeBob is so much more memeable than Pokemon?

Speaker 4 Well, because, I mean, don't get me wrong, I would have watched the fuck out of SpongeBob if I had cable. Right.
I was on channel 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11.

Speaker 1 You had the beach, dude. What? You had the beach.
Yeah. Cable was right out in there,

Speaker 1 right out your backyard.

Speaker 4 I didn't have it, man.

Speaker 1 You were fucking out there doing ollies and shit. You're cooler than everyone in America.

Speaker 4 Yeah, my mom was just anti-television. Really? So I was out there with the skateboard every day making skateboards.

Speaker 1 That really helped your creativity, though. No, weird way.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because I had to come up with other shit to do.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 4 Build forts out of boxes.

Speaker 1 Now kids have Minecraft. They build their forts on.
Go on. What happened to that box fort?

Speaker 4 People love making box forts with these duct tape and boxes.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, that was the best.

Speaker 4 Whole houses behind the couch and shit. Yeah, did you have a creek?

Speaker 1 I would have loved a creek for the awesome fort making.

Speaker 4 Heat. Oh, man, I bet.

Speaker 1 I remember, like, I think it was, like, probably 1992 that my family got a new refrigerator, and that was a big year for the box.

Speaker 1 That's a huge fucking box.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's a huge box.

Speaker 1 Huge box, dude.

Speaker 1 Huge.

Speaker 1 That's like a mansion. Like, you have, you can, like, do, you're like, hey, here, come in the Fourier.
Now, let's go to the other part of the box.

Speaker 4 You got everything in there. No, that's the, that's the Hearst Castle of Boston.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. That is.

Speaker 4 You can't beat. You can't beat a refrigerator box.

Speaker 1 No, you can't.

Speaker 4 Because the TV box is big, but it's too narrow. You can't hang out in there.
Right.

Speaker 1 Refrigerator box? It's already built for you. Yeah.
Kidding me? Yes. All right, Jimmy.
Thank you. Everyone, check out the movie coming up in July 12th.
Struber. Stuber.
Stuber.

Speaker 1 And then also, definitely watch Real Bros. It's fucking hilarious.

Speaker 4 Real Bros. Simi Valley Season 3.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Xander. What's going to happen with Xander? Don't tell us.

Speaker 4 A lot of things.

Speaker 1 Maybe some kickbacks?

Speaker 4 Oh, there's going to be kickbacks. There's going to be a lot of things going down.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. All right.
Thanks, man.

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Speaker 1 Shut it down! Okay, Hank takes one. Yeah, very impressive, Hank.
Yes,

Speaker 1 we just hit smelling salts. We have our good friend, recurring guest, Hall of Famer.
You're in a Hall of Fame, right? Nightclub Hall of Fame. There we go.
Nightclub Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 You probably know that voice. It is John Taffer.
He's got bar rescue and marriage rescue now. So you're saving people's relationships, then you're saving people's bars.

Speaker 1 No, you're saving people's bars, saving people's relationships, then saving people's bars every Sunday night. That's why you and I need to talk, Dan.
That's it. Our relationship is great.

Speaker 1 Our relationship remains great. But it's kind of funny because what you do on bar rescue, for the most part, you save relationships on there too, between partnerships.
No, it's really true.

Speaker 1 You know, there's about 30 bar rescues that had married couples, and they fight so much that it gets into the business. So I wound up fixing the marriage before I could fix the business.

Speaker 1 So when the network came to me, normally you pitch an idea to the network. They came to me with this one and said, you know, John, there's like 30 episodes or like, so let's do marriage rescue.

Speaker 1 So there was no pilot or anything. We just went straight to series.
Okay, so idea for marriage rescue, when you go and rescue a marriage, maybe the way to rescue it is have them open a bar.

Speaker 1 That'll take them down for sure. But seriously, no, that's literally about to say that same thing.

Speaker 1 That way, you double dip because you create their bar as well. That you can then rescue later, then you rescue their bar.
This is

Speaker 1 fulfilling

Speaker 1 ecosystem users. We're a billion dollars.
You're just so fucking on top of this. It's just unbelievable to me.
The creative energy at this table is unbelievable. Yeah.
Maybe you do bar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do bar building with marriages that are doing well, and then you build them a bar, and then you revisit them and rescue the bar and the marriage three years later. You can do it with me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 You just do it all. You also get a little bit of equity in their marriage.
Yes. Oh, look.

Speaker 1 Any kids? Those are the kids. You work the wife every three weeks or so? Those who work nights? You get the kids.
You get the kids, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All future earnings. I just want to point out, it's a very special day.
Do you know what day it is today, John? No.

Speaker 1 It is June 7th as we're recording this.

Speaker 1 Do you remember what you were doing one year ago today? No.

Speaker 1 The Washington Capitals were beating the Las Vegas Knights. And you you and I were fucking each other pretty good.
Oh,

Speaker 1 you guys didn't tell me that about Vegas. Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can get some equity.

Speaker 1 Nice, nice. But you and I went out a pretty good a year ago.
We did. We did.
And we had quite a battle. Five games.
A gentleman's sweep in the Stanley Cup final. I lost.
You won. You lost.
We won.

Speaker 1 So we are going to do a bar wrestling at some point.

Speaker 1 It's not that we've forgotten about it. It's every time you're filming one, we're traveling somewhere else.
Every time we're good, you're doing something else. So the schedules will align.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, this summer. The blame is on both sides, actually, because we've been trying to get a lot of time.

Speaker 1 There's been one that we weren't able to do, and then there was one that we're like, we're in, and then your people were like, just kidding. That one's not happening.
So we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what happened, guys? I got the flu and canceled an episode in season.

Speaker 1 We would have just done the whole thing.

Speaker 1 We would have done the whole thing for you. Let us go.
I can't wait. You guys will have a blast.
We will literally host the show. Portnoy just did one with Frankie.
I know. I know.
He did pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Went up against Game of Thrones finale.
And we did great. Yeah, I know.
I know. Our rating crazy go down at all.
It's a tough night to to go up against them.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so we're definitely going to do it. We're going to name our own drinks.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you're going to be able to do it. Let me ask you this.
What would be the perfect drink for you, name?

Speaker 1 I'd like to incorporate Mad Dog into my drink somehow.

Speaker 1 Mine would probably be sit on the couch. So the drink is just on my couch.
So I don't have to go anywhere.

Speaker 1 So maybe the drink should be in some type of a couch-shaped glass? No, it's literally just served on my couch. So the bar just brings me a drink.
So what would the drink be called?

Speaker 1 Something like, what do you think? The lazy fuck? Garfield. Garfield.
The lazy fuck. The lazy fuck.
The fuck is good. The big cat bark a lounger.
Not bad. There we go.
I like that one.

Speaker 1 What about the PFT? But T is T E A.

Speaker 1 And it's Mad Dog and

Speaker 1 Forloco. I like that.
It's actually cool. I like the.
Can you serve Forloco? I don't know. Are you allowed to serve Forloco? I love my pay grade.
Remember they banned it after a while?

Speaker 1 Because the kids were like... Yeah, because it was like caffeine and

Speaker 1 booze mixed, and you can't do it to a certain level. Also, energy energy drink, they won't let you do that.
A lot of people try to put energy drink in the booze. You can't do that either.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. I was going to say, I have a question because a lot of times, at least here in New York, I don't know if it's just contained to the city or if it's a worldwide phenomenon.

Speaker 1 If I ask for a Red Bull at a bar or Red Bull vodka, a lot of times the bartenders, they kind of turn up their nose and they're like, we don't serve Red Bull here. Wow.
I don't know why that is.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of times they'll be like, we actually have monster. But it's like they're looking down at people ordering Red Bulls now.
I don't understand that. You know, it's interesting, too.

Speaker 1 Red Bull has like predatory contracts. Really? So when you sign the deal as a bar with Red Bull, they give you a few dollars.
They'll give you like a DJ stand or some tables.

Speaker 1 You've seen a Red Bull play the tables and stuff. But in the contract, it says you are not allowed to do business with any other energy drink.
Damn. That's probably why they don't like them.

Speaker 1 That's probably why. Because they're really predatory.
Okay, so here's an idea. What if we start an energy drink called No Energy and it's just...

Speaker 1 It just says it's no energy, so then it's not an energy drink, but it is. And we can name that one lazy fuck, too.
Yeah, perfect.

Speaker 1 And then we scoop in when everyone's like, hey, you got a Red Bull deal you can't get out of? Well, come buy some no energy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's how Red Woods was successful, though, was that approach.
That makes sense. So they buy you in, so to speak, and then lock you in.
Yeah, yeah, interesting. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, we're going to take down the energy drink world. I think we should find a way.
Yeah, we can definitely find it. That new one, Bang, which all the Instagram models are doing.

Speaker 1 That's all we got to do. I like the PFT.
I think it's a FT. Yeah, the PFT is a great drink.
That's a good name for a drink, I think.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I'm in love necessarily with the four loco now that I think about it because they changed the formula of it. So it would have to be Mad Dog

Speaker 1 and let's just say

Speaker 1 Old English.

Speaker 1 Mad Dog and Old English. Well, Old English.
Old Taurus.

Speaker 1 I like that a lot. Okay, so here's the deal.
We'll give somebody something to look forward to. So we're going to create that drink together, you and I, when you're on bar rescue.

Speaker 1 Okay, and we'll teach, as a mixologist, I will teach the bartenders how to make it. I think that's terrific.
Yeah, you always shake up here, right? Of course, and you got a smile button. Okay, so

Speaker 1 that's actually a good segue to our Mount Mount Rushmore because I bet you people would go to a bar just to have the PFT. Probably.

Speaker 1 Just to get

Speaker 1 hooked up on the PFT. So we're going to do a Mount Rushmore of bar attractions, things that a bar has that makes you want to go to that bar.

Speaker 1 Things that you're like, I'm going to go to this bar and I know I'm going to have a good time because of this. Could be a menu item, could be a feature in the bar, could be anything.

Speaker 1 You want to start? Sure. All right, so we're going to do a snake draft.
So it's going to go you, me, the PFT, then PFT is going to to go twice and come back around. Snake draft.

Speaker 1 Do you know a snake draft? I know a snake draft. Okay, because a lot of people get confused.
And when I say a lot of people, it's pretty much just us. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's a lightning round, and that's it. Yeah, one time we got really high and got caught in the snake.
Gotcha. We still haven't known anything.
Yeah, we couldn't figure out where we were.

Speaker 1 But I swear to God. It was actually in Vegas.
So were you stuck for hours? We were stuck for a very long time in the snake. We could not remember who started and who stopped.

Speaker 1 You legalized weed out there, and that presented all sorts of problems. It was, yeah, the least of which is not being able to do a snake draft.
Put a bit of a a fog.

Speaker 1 Has that, by the way, before you do the first pick, has

Speaker 1 legalization of weed done anything to the bar industry?

Speaker 1 It does impact the bar industry. You know, you talk about sitting on a couch.
Right. I mean, typically you don't smoke weed and then go out.
Correct.

Speaker 1 So, you know, it tends to keep you home. So, you know, I think it has created some erosion in the bar business for sure.

Speaker 1 All right. And then what about, but gambling is the, like, you know, most states like Illinois just did gambling.
and weed in the same weekend. I would imagine gambling would raise the bar business.

Speaker 1 I would think, especially if we can bring it into the bar business. Into the bar.
Now, what's great about Las Vegas is you have all the gaming apps. Right.

Speaker 1 So you can sit in a bar and you can bet on the apps in real time, which is very cool. People will stay longer.
They'll stay through the fourth quarter, make sure that over-under hits. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So you go first. Easy.
Sports on video. Sports on video.
A sports bar. A sports bar.
But you know what's interesting about a sports bar?

Speaker 1 Sports will only fill a bar about 70 days a year. Really? And a lot of people think, you open a sports bar, they come every night.
That's not true.

Speaker 1 They don't come for every baseball game and only postseason. They don't come for every NBA game.
It'll be postseason. Even big hockey cities, they don't come for all 80-some-odd hockey games.

Speaker 1 So when you really put together the playoffs, you know, the various things that only about 70, 80 days tops.

Speaker 1 And it is, you are right that, like, you, if you're going to watch a big game, there are only a few bars that you can think of where you're, like, you know the game's going to be on, you know, the sound's going to be on, and you know you're going to be able to watch the TV.

Speaker 1 Because there's a lot of places where it's like, oh, they might have two TVs. If you're in Brooklyn, you have zero TVs.
But like, a good bar where you know you can watch the game is always

Speaker 1 high on the list. You know what's interesting to me? I never saw this.
They're talking about sports and bars. You know, with Sunday Ticket, which you guys know I created.
Yeah, no, just a ticket.

Speaker 1 No big deal. With NFL Sunday Ticket, you know, different bars have different teams.
Right. So the Dallas game could be at one place, whereas the Green Bay game could be at another place.

Speaker 1 I always wondered why somebody or DirecTV or somebody didn't do an app where if you're a Dallas fan, I can put it in and find out which bar is showing the Dallas game. Yeah.
So I could go to that bar.

Speaker 1 Nothing like that exists. Maybe I should create it.
it. They do do.
Wouldn't you do it if you were in a city and you wanted to go see a particular game?

Speaker 1 I think what happens is I just Google like Redskins bars and then a bunch of things pop up that they don't show the Redskins anymore because they're a shitty team and probably always will be.

Speaker 1 But I know that there are at least one or two bars that are showing them, but it's not the classic Redskins ones. And then I'm just stuck with my thumb up my ass.

Speaker 1 Although, I will say, when you go to a sports bar on a Sunday morning and my favorite thing that they do is they'll put a piece of paper under every TV for which game is about to play.

Speaker 1 When you walk into an empty sports bar on a Sunday morning and you're like, I can set myself up anywhere, that's the best feeling in the world. Absolutely.
That's the best feeling in the world.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to go with a good shuffleboard table. Yes.
I love playing shuffleboard. It is so much fun.
And a good one. I'm not talking about the cheap shuffleboard table.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about a real one. Got to get the right amount of sand.
Got to have, you know, can't be too expensive. A good shuffleboard table will get me at a bar and get me to stay for a long time.

Speaker 1 You know, it's interesting that you say that because shuffleboard is not as popular as it should be. I know.
And And when I put them into bars, they do really well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you can do couples, you can do double limitation, you can do a whole bunch of stuff. Right.
So I think that's a great call. Yes.

Speaker 1 Now, with the positioning of a shuffleboard table, is it better to have them against the wall or out in the open? Against the wall. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because when you put it out in the open, it creates too much dead space around it. And up against the wall, it works fine.
I like a little bit more space off the wall.

Speaker 1 You can't go right up against the wall because

Speaker 1 you can have elbow room. Yeah, you have to then switch with your partner back and forth.

Speaker 1 And you know what really gets me is when people drop the weights, you dent it. Yeah.
Right? So you really got to maintain it properly. It's like a bull tape, but you got to do it right.
Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. For my first one, I'm going to keep it very, very simple.
A popcorn machine. Yeah, I had that written down.
I love

Speaker 1 a nice dive bar with a popcorn machine. The smell, too.
Nothing better. It really sets the vibe.
Salty as hell, right? Oh, yeah. And that makes you dream the better.
Of course. Yes.

Speaker 1 And this is how they get you. I'm so dumb.
I just like the popcorn. No, but you're right.
I had that written down. That was my third thing I wrote.

Speaker 1 I'm probably going to take one of yours too, big care, because I know that you agree with this one. By the way, PFT, just

Speaker 1 you're working off your phone. Yes.
He's working off a list. I like a little ink under my tail.
I know, I just, I'm very impressed by the preparation. We literally do

Speaker 1 it 40 seconds before. Yeah, you're going raw dogs right from your brain.
Yeah. But you also have a lifetime worth of information of bar science stored up here.
I do correct.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, you're at a decided. Well, this is unfiltered John Taffer Brace.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever been filtered here before. You're literally putting your mouth up to the tap

Speaker 1 when you're on this show. My next one is Turtle racing.

Speaker 1 It's a specific one,

Speaker 1 but there's a bar that I used to go to called Little Woodrows in Austin, and it was so much fun because on Thursday nights they would have turtle racing at like six o'clock.

Speaker 1 They'd get all these tiny little turtles that have numbers painted on them. They put them in the middle of a big circle, and then everybody bets on the turtles.

Speaker 1 Which one's going to make it out of the circle first? And the entire bar stops what they're doing, and they gather around watching this.

Speaker 1 And just like 50, 60 people screaming their lungs out at baby little turtles. It's so fun.
That's how I got addicted to gambling.

Speaker 1 I was 12 years old. I went to a turtle race in Key West, Florida.
My parents brought me, and I won a $100 bill. And from that point on, I was addicted to gambling.
That was it.

Speaker 1 It's funny. When I was running Barney's Beanery in Los Angeles, California, I was a bartender many years ago.
And Lone Star came to California, and they asked me to do a TV commercial.

Speaker 1 And the TV commercial was armadillo races. So they took us to the set.
They had all the lanes with armadillo races. And we let the armadillos go, and they didn't go anywhere.

Speaker 1 So the producers come up to me and say, listen to me, you got to squeeze its balls.

Speaker 1 So you put your hand on top of the armadillo, and there's like six of us, and you stick your hand underneath it, and you got to squeeze the little guy's balls so he takes off, which is not something you really want to do as a guy.

Speaker 1 You can relate to. So you put your hand on top of him, you squeeze his little nuts, and then he pisses in your hand and takes off.
There you go. And I lost, of course.

Speaker 1 But it always bothered me to this day that I squeezed this little guy's balls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fucked up. Absolutely.
You want to apologize? So,

Speaker 1 I'll apologize to him right now. Okay, so I've got bad about it.

Speaker 1 You got finger-fucked by John Tapper. We apologize.
Okay. But you pissed on his hands.
Yeah, that's true. You got that last laugh.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then afterwards, you have to raise your hands as if you won, even though you didn't.

Speaker 1 As I raise my hand, the piss is running down my arm. Armadillo pisses.
I can't imagine that smells good. No.

Speaker 1 Thinking through the animal kingdom, armadillo piss has got to be up there as part of the smelly. Yeah, but it has bothered me all these years.
Yeah. I did that.
I'm happy you got that off your chest.

Speaker 1 I do. I feel much better now.
Thank you, guys. All right, I'm going to go nice, easy, a great jukebox.
Nothing better than a great jukebox.

Speaker 1 And I don't like, I know that everyone has the digital jukeboxes now. I like when it's an old-fashioned jukebox because you know that people can't stray too far from the bar's vibe.

Speaker 1 And even if you hear the same song over and over again, you're going to create a certain case. You don't care.
You know, obviously it's got to be a really good one.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, you go to a bar and it's old school one. It's like, it's got...
all the classics. But when you have the digital one, someone could put on something that just kills everything.

Speaker 1 You're too obscure. Right, too obscure, or like maybe it's a chill vibe, and someone puts on like, you know, some like death metal electronic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the bar operator, because you can regulate them. You can't.
You can always do that.

Speaker 1 So he's not allowing the right songs to be selected. Also, I can say these songs can't be played during these hours.
Correct. That's good.
So it isn't the box, it's the operator who fucked it up.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's good to know. I do agree with Big Cat, though, that the vibe of having just a normal jukebox is a little bit chiller.
It's a little cool. I like to

Speaker 1 flip it and you hit the button and it flips. Yeah, Yeah, the handwritten tracked listings.

Speaker 1 And the other way you run into trouble if you're using the digital jukeboxes is that sometimes they have these apps where people can order them and they're not even in the bar. Right.

Speaker 1 So we've got this friend Clue Haywood that likes to play Go Cubs Go at St. Louis, which is

Speaker 1 on repeat, and he lives in Arizona. Right.
And he just floods it. Really? That's funny.

Speaker 1 You can screw with people that way. You can.
And you can, with the digital one, you can cuck people in line. You can pay extra, which I don't like.

Speaker 1 That's not fair.

Speaker 1 All right, your pick tube. It's all about the money.
Yeah. It's true.
That's true. All right, you have two picks.
Test tube shots. Test tube shots.
Party time. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is hard to turn down a test tube shot. Yeah.
What's amazing about a test tube shot is think about this, PFT.

Speaker 1 You got a drink in your hand, and I can sell you another drink while you're drinking a drink. That's shit point.
So that's really cool. Nothing else.
And then it's a test tube.

Speaker 1 You can't put it down because it tips over. So the minute you buy it, you got to drink it.
So you drink the drink in between the drink that you're already drinking.

Speaker 1 And then you've got a free hand again. For another shot.
For another shot, yeah.

Speaker 1 Sam, that's a big thing down in New Orleans. I always buy the test tube shots in New Orleans.
And they're fun, man. The girls come over and they, you know, they put on a show for you.
Right.

Speaker 1 And sometimes they'll like put the bottom into the test tube in their mouth, put the top end in yours, and then just kind of pour it in with their mouth. Right.
Right. Okay, that's probably illegal.

Speaker 1 And that's a good sanitary. That's a good pick.
You got another one. Another one.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I will pick

Speaker 1 Bubble Machine. Bubble Machine? Yes.
What do you mean? Home? Okay. bars got to have women.
Yeah. Music draws women more than products do.
Okay.

Speaker 1 A bubble machine and a festiveness of a dance floor with a bubble machine will create a party for women. I'm trying to pick something that's not on your list.
Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever been to a bar with a bubble machine. Now I want to go.
Does it make the dance floor slippery? It can, but you want to use the right materials.

Speaker 1 You want to use a professional machine. But that's a very good call because it can.
Yeah, I'm looking out for liability right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you are right that if I saw bubbles in the middle of a bar, I'd be like, I'm going to go dance. It just creates a party feeling.
Yeah, okay, I like that.

Speaker 1 Um, I'm going with, for my third pick, a great bottle beer selection.

Speaker 1 I love when a bar has a bunch of different bottles, not just tap, not just cans, because there's nothing like drinking out of a glass bottle in a bar.

Speaker 1 That makes it so if you, you know, you can go there and you can drink out of a glass bottle all night, and there's all kinds of it.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of times you'll show up to a bar and you'll be like, hey, I want a Coors Light or a Bud Light.

Speaker 1 And it will just be, you know, they'll be like, Well, you have it on tap or a can or a plastic can. You know, you're going to consume roughly two-thirds less beer when you drink out of a bottle.

Speaker 1 Is that true? And I'll tell you why. When you drink

Speaker 1 bottles, no, I don't hate her like it. I just wanted to explain this.

Speaker 1 When you take a draft beer and you pour it, or when you pour a bottle into the glass, the CO2 dissipates.

Speaker 1 Okay, when you drink from the bottle directly into your stomach, the CO2 dissipates in your stomach.

Speaker 1 So it bloats you. And for every beer you consume, your body takes about a bottle and a half in capacity.
Okay, now

Speaker 1 does it give you more gas if you drink it? It does. If you drink it straight from the bottle, it bloats you because all the gas is dissipating in your stomach rather than in the glass.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 So you will drink less beer if you drink it in a bottle. Okay, that's maybe why I like it because I'm kind of a wimp now.
Yeah, you don't need to drink any more beer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think you have to do that. I don't.
Yeah, I've stopped. I still have weight.

Speaker 1 My problem is, whenever I go to a bar, if I have the option of having a Bud Light bottle or a Bud Light pint poured for me, I always take the bottle because I know what it's going to taste like.

Speaker 1 Right. I know I'm going to get the standard, consistent Bud Light.
If I'm ordering a craft beer that's local, I might go ahead and go for the draft option on that.

Speaker 1 But with a Bud Light on draft, you're playing with fire because a lot of times you get a beer line that's not cleaned out.

Speaker 1 It's not right.

Speaker 1 And it throws your whole night off. Also, it's great having a bottle in your hand.
It's very nice to be able to walk around and talk to people. Where if you have a draft, you can spill it.

Speaker 1 But you can have your cake and eat it too. If you want to drink a lot of beer tonight, tonight, get the bottleite bottle, pour it into the pint glass.
No, gas dissipates, drink it out of the glass.

Speaker 1 That's not a good thing. And you can get the same effect.

Speaker 1 Also, a cousin to the great bottle beer selection is I need the bar to have buckets of beer, too. I need to be able to order buckets to the table so I don't have to get up every single time.

Speaker 1 Do you like the little pony bottles? I love the pony bottles because it makes me feel like Andre the Giant. No, seriously.
The little canoe? Yeah, I'm like, oh, man, I'm a big man.

Speaker 1 And then I'm like, I've crushed like eight beers tonight, and I really had like two and a half, but it makes me feel really strong.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I thought about this, but years ago I saw Shaq pick up a pint glass. And Shaq picking up a pint glass, PFT, is like you picking up a shot glass.

Speaker 1 It looks exactly the same because his hand is so freaking big. Right, right.
Yeah, that's how I feel. I'm like, man, I could defeat anyone right now.
All right, PFT, you got your final two.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 SIGs inside.

Speaker 1 Oh, smoking in a bar. Smoking in a bar.
Now,

Speaker 1 this is not an everynight thing that I would want to do, but I love knowing which bar that I can go to in a town that has cigarettes allowed indoors. It's something it's very luxurious.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm on a very expensive cruise ship. If I'm inside a trashy-ass dive bar and I'm allowed to light up a cigarette inside and blow my smoke into the ceiling, it feels great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get that. You know, for smokers, so you need smoke eaters.
And the right equipment

Speaker 1 because too much smoke even bums you out as a smoker. That's true.
So you got to have the right circulation. If you set up a bar for that, it's perfectly cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My last one, this is a pretty easy one, actually. Just dogs.
Yeah. Dogs.
Dogs in a bar. Yeah, I love dogs.
Allowing dogs in a bar. It's always funny to see a dog sitting at a bar.
It's just funny.

Speaker 1 It is. But there's a bar rescue episode where the dog was actually nicer than the owner.
Yeah, I mean, that's pretty much every dog. Yes, yes.
I believe it. I believe it.
Pretty much every dog.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. All right.
That's a good one. Where do you stand on bar stools? Do you like them having backs or no backs? Okay, I'm going to get myself in trouble here.

Speaker 1 Here's the demographics of a bar stool. When you have women over 34, you put a back on a bar stool.
Okay. When they're under 34, you don't.

Speaker 1 And the reason why is over 34, women get very sensitive about their asses. Oh.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 they bulge over the sides, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 And then you might have gotten there a little sooner than you did. Right.
Right. But the fact is, you know, over 34, you start to consider that and you put backs on it.
I hate it.

Speaker 1 Under 34, I want you to spin around for interactivity and stuff, so I wouldn't. I like that majority.
I like the back on it because a lot of times I like to slouch out a little bit.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm comfortable. Yeah, lean back a little bit.
But also, there's a difference. In a bar, sometimes I'll put backs where tables I might not to create more interactivity.

Speaker 1 If it's a kind of bar where I want you to stay for a longer time, I'll put a back on it. Like a sports bar.
You're watching a game for a long time.

Speaker 4 You know, you want to have your lean back.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of considerations, but that demo is a big one, too. Okay.
All right. My last one is live music.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not too loud, but I don't think you could ever go to a bar with live music and walk away from that bar not being like, I had a great time tonight. Because it's just something about it.

Speaker 1 Well, live live music energizes a room. But, you know, on the other side of the fence, a live band is either too heavy for the light stuff or too light for the heavy stuff.
You got to find.

Speaker 1 So PFT and I basically, our last two picks, we just basically described this bar called the North Side in Atlanta, which we spent a couple nights in Super Bowl week.

Speaker 1 And we just basically described it.

Speaker 1 You could smoke in it, bottle beers, and an awesome live band. So yeah, that's pretty bad.
But that's a great party right there. Yeah, it was.
It was fucking all. It was kind of like a dive bar.

Speaker 1 It was a very dive-y feel. They had bottles, cans.
I pissed in the backyard. Yeah, bathrooms actually.
You know what? I'm going to throw a little curveball here.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I prefer a little bit of a trashy bathroom. Yes.
Really? Yeah. You want to get a little odor when you walk in? No, no, no, no, no, no.
No,

Speaker 1 you're not saying like a dump in the toilet. No, I'm not saying a broken graffiti.
Yeah, I'm talking about graffiti. Oh, sure, I got you.
Chalk on the walls.

Speaker 1 I'm talking just like kind of broken mirrors. Dive-you know, yeah, very dive-y.
Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 Maybe that old school

Speaker 1 thing that you use to dry your hands where it's just one big rag.

Speaker 1 so disgusting but that is cool what about when it doesn't move anymore so you got to use the mask guys it's so fucking gross but it is like a cool vibe I made a mistake when I was down in Miami I let a friend of ours know he he's the producer of the Lebatard show I let him know that I like dive bars and I like kind of trashy as bat trashyish bathrooms and the entire rest of the week he kept sending me pictures of bars that he had been to in Miami that had the worst bathrooms.

Speaker 1 So I have probably 30 pictures of just just toilets on my phone. So if anybody goes through here, they're like, what the hell is the matter? Toilet guy.
I know it's a toilet guy.

Speaker 1 Sometimes we build these bars, and the guy's bathroom is like a freaking outhouse. Yeah.
But the girl's bathroom is a fucking palace. That's okay.
Yeah, I like that. Same place.

Speaker 1 You know you're in the same bar. That's good.
But there's a difference because you and I are cool with the trashy bathroom, but they're often not. Right, right.

Speaker 1 All right. What is your last pick? Oh, boy, my last pick, you know, I was going to go with music

Speaker 1 and energy. But, you know, I'm going to go for something.
Let me think for a second. I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 quick, easy food. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Like it. So if you want something, you get it quick.
Okay. So there's nothing worse.
I'm picturing a bar you guys are at in Atlanta. You want to order some chicken wings or something.

Speaker 1 You don't want to get into 25 minutes to wait for them and all that. So, you know, to me, the greatest food in a bar of all is a five-minute menu.

Speaker 1 There's that order now that comes out right away.

Speaker 1 Williams, they do for you. The pizza.
Yes. I was about to say that.
That makes a big difference. That's a great bar.
If you had to wait a half hour, you probably wouldn't have gotten it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you go to a window and they give you a little personal pizza. It's awesome.
What's that bar called? I think it's called Alligator Bar. Yeah, I've been there a couple times.
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just, because you don't have to sit down.

Speaker 1 You're like, hey, I've been drinking for a while. I want a little slice of pizza.
Boom, you're right there. What do you think about a food truck at a bar? Yes or no?

Speaker 1 You know, we've done it on Bar Rescue. And what we've done is we've connected it to the POS system in the bar.
So I put a printer in a food truck outside and the employees have a tablet inside.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. So they can order the food so you can go out and pick it up or they'll bring it back in for you.
We do it all the time. I like that.

Speaker 1 Even on Bar Rescue, what's cool is you can have different food trucks, different days.

Speaker 1 And if you cut a deal with them that every Thursday is this truck, every Friday is this truck, there's a reason for you to come back. That's good.
So I had, so we'll do the

Speaker 1 things that we missed the list, right? Like the honorable mentions. One of my honorable mentions, there's certain bars in Chicago where they let the tamale guy come in.

Speaker 1 Late night, guy comes in with just a big cooler of tamales and just it's like $5 for three tamales. That's huge.
Knowing the tamale guy is going to show up is huge.

Speaker 1 I also used to do these things where I'd I'd make 100 hot dogs and I'd put them in a foil envelopes like they do in a ballpark with the mushroom packet.

Speaker 1 And I'd send a girl and she'd stand up in the bar and she'd just start throwing hot dogs.

Speaker 1 I would go to that house. And I would do that every night at like midnight.
Yeah, that's a bar. Each hot dog would cost me literally like 27 cents for the whole fucking thing, envelope and all.

Speaker 1 But it was a speedy bag. Everybody called, sometime tonight, the hot dogs are going to be a bit of a damage.
And it's like a bird nest. Everybody's like, ah! Yeah.

Speaker 1 I do that with free t-shirts. Yeah, I was going to say it's like a t-shirt cannon at a ball game.
You get a 27-cent hot dog and you feel like you won a million dollars. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Now, do they make a hot dog gun like they have at the bottom? No,

Speaker 1 that would be freaking cool. Yeah.
I have pretzel rods. I love pretzel rods at the bar.
Okay. Just sitting there.
Just pretzels hanging out in general. Pretzels just somewhere.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Butt funnels. Of course.
Double butt funnels.

Speaker 1 Triple butt funnels. A triple butt funnel.
Have you done a triple butt funnel? I've done one triple butt funnel on bar rescue.

Speaker 1 And did it work? It worked. Okay.
What about

Speaker 1 laid somewhere out of it? That's a stupid question by me. Of course, the triple butt funnel worked.

Speaker 1 What about Christmas lights? Christmas lights? Ooh, that's good. Yeah.
Festive. It's great for a dive bar because it really tacks it up.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're just describing dive. I'm describing dive bars.
Yeah. I'm giving away my preferred method of drinking here.
Fire pit, probably a big hazard, but it also. Fire pit outside with a patio.

Speaker 1 Just a really awesome patio is always a plus. Like a backyard patio is great.
What about the mist fans for the summertime outside? Oh, that makes a big deal.

Speaker 1 The women don't like it because it frizzes up their hair. Oh, yeah.
But no, it cools it off a lot. What about a live lobster catch? You know, I've thrown that off already.

Speaker 1 Okay, I know, and it's one of my favorite episodes because

Speaker 1 Taffer has lost his mind. This live lobster catch is awesome.
You ever listen carefully when you're drawing? No, I'm not. Don't stop.

Speaker 1 Just let me. No.
At least it's not.

Speaker 1 And the hot water goes quick.

Speaker 1 God damn it. I didn't like that because they put the lobster in the bank.
I know, it was bad. It was bad.

Speaker 1 Tanks sucked. And yeah, I get it.
But it was like the one and only time I've seen it, and I was like, damn, that's cool. It's literally like the armadillo.
It just sort of bummed me out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, no, I agree.

Speaker 1 You made the right call there.

Speaker 1 I like having enough dartboards, because if you only have one dartboard, that's a problem. Yes.
It's a big problem. And you need the old school dartboards.

Speaker 1 But if you're going to have dartboards, you've got to have at least one pinball machine, and here's why. Oh, when people are waiting to play darts, they'll play pinball.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And the incidence of play on pinball games is much higher when there's dartboards nearby for that reason. Yes.
I did that last weekend.

Speaker 1 I literally did that last weekend. And the same thing with the pool table.
When you're waiting for a pool table, you'll play some pinball games. I don't even play pinball.
I don't even.

Speaker 1 It sucks. Pinball actually is not fun.
For Lord of the Rings, a movie I haven't watched. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was just waiting for the dart table or the dartboard to open up, and I played three games of pinball. Yeah.
That's what I'm saying. Damn it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 there's a logic to that, Mattel. Dartboards are great.
The problem with dartboards is, well, you can't do the fake dartboards. You have to do the real ones.

Speaker 1 And then I feel like bars just don't do a good job job of taking care of their darts.

Speaker 1 You'll get a dart that has like a screwed-up feather

Speaker 1 or, yeah, you'll get two when you need three. But

Speaker 1 you're not going to do anything if you don't do it properly. A professional dart lane has the lines, has a drink rail next to it for resting chalk board.
People aren't walking in front of you.

Speaker 1 Of course, you've got to do it right.

Speaker 1 If you do it right, you'll get leagues and you can make a lot of money on it. Having enough chalk is a big one, too.

Speaker 1 You can't go in and get the little pebble, and that's all that there is left.

Speaker 1 That's a night road. The worst.

Speaker 1 All right, did we hit them all? I think we hit them all. I I think we did pretty good.
Yeah, so, John Taffer, it's always great having you on. We appreciate your support of us.

Speaker 1 And check out Bar Rescue, Marriage Rescue, Bar Rescue. He's saving lives.

Speaker 1 He's saving lives. Has anybody ever thanked you for saving their life? Oh, yeah.
You know what's really cool? And I've never said this before. In Bar Rescue, we wear our microphones in our chests.

Speaker 1 So when I get that hug on the end, you don't hear anything because our microphones are up against each other. And someone says that.
The stuff that they whisper in my ear. Fredo, I knew it was you.

Speaker 1 No, no, just thank you, man. You saved my life.
You know, you saved my family. Wow, you know, my wife is, you know, those little things.

Speaker 1 And unfortunately, nobody gets to hear it, but it really freaking inspires the hell out of me. Yeah, that's very nice.
That's awesome. One last question.
Have you been back to the Oface?

Speaker 1 No, I haven't. I want to know how Sick is doing.
How's Sick doing? I hear from Sick every once in a while. He was working at another bar.
He was a good guy.

Speaker 1 He's working in another bar. I haven't heard from him in a while, but I know he's doing well.
I've even heard from Sick's parents once or twice. But the owner of O-Face went to jail.

Speaker 1 The guy or the girl? The guy went to jail

Speaker 1 for harassing an an employee or something. It doesn't surprise me either, but it sort of validified me not doing it.
Just to prove the dick that he, in fact, was absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 All right, John Taffer, thank you as always. We appreciate it.
And tune in sometime in the future. We will be on a bar rescue.
You will, guys. We'll work on it through the summer.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Good to see you both. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, it is that time of the week. We have our intern, Jilli Football, in studio, the Jilli Beans.
Let's start there. So you now have your own personal bayhive,

Speaker 1 beehive.

Speaker 1 Beyonce has the beehive, you have the jilly beans.

Speaker 6 I do.

Speaker 1 Do you understand the type of power you now wield online, knowing that the jilli beans will do your bidding for you?

Speaker 6 Yep, and they better start doing it now.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow, she's ruling with an iron

Speaker 1 who's the first enemy,

Speaker 1 Pete.

Speaker 1 Let's fucking smell my Pete.

Speaker 6 I can't believe what Pete did today.

Speaker 1 PFT Pete said that he didn't care when his kids were born. And Jilli...

Speaker 1 What do you mean by don't care when his kids were born? It wasn't that good of a day.

Speaker 6 He said it wasn't the best day of his life.

Speaker 1 It was just like another day. It's just another Tuesday.
Now they're here. He said it actually sucked.
He actually said it sucked because he had to sleep on like a chair.

Speaker 1 He probably, yeah, he was mad because he had to miss work to go to his kid's birth. You know what you need?

Speaker 6 He'd rather sit and watch TV.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 For your jilly beans, you need an emoji that signifies that the jelly beans are swarming. So like when the Bayhive does it, they do like all the bees or sometimes the lemons for the lemonade.

Speaker 1 What can the Jill, the jelly bean emoji be?

Speaker 1 Let's go through here. Um, I was looking, there are no jelly bean emojis.
Yeah, but there's got to be something that looks like a bean, right? Is there a bean emoji? Hmm, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 Maybe we can have everyone. Let's see.
There's the David Bowie emoji. That'd be kind of cool.
I feel like you're a big Bowie. I don't know what that is.
Oh, what about these little tinker bells?

Speaker 1 Tinkerbells would be funny. If the jelly beans unite and you you have little tinker bells coming after you.

Speaker 1 Jill is now, by the way, for the people who aren't watching,

Speaker 1 PFT and I are looking through our emojis. Jill is just holding her phone, pretending to look through her emojis.
She's in the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I knew that's what you were doing.
You were holding your phone up like, this is what we're doing now, and I'm looking right at your phone, and you don't know how to get them up.

Speaker 1 The grapes look like they could be jelly beans almost. Oh, okay.
Maybe that would be what we do. Some grapes? Grapes? Do you like grapes? You get grapes going?

Speaker 6 You know what grapes end up being? Wine.

Speaker 4 That's sheesh. That's sheesh.

Speaker 1 Sheesh. Yeah.
Sheesh.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, we'll find one.

Speaker 1 Listen, after everyone listens, let's crowdsource this. People can come with what they think would be great for the jilli beans to assemble.
Who came up with the idea of jilli beans?

Speaker 6 I did.

Speaker 1 It's great. That's been her nickname forever.

Speaker 6 It's been my nickname forever.

Speaker 1 Jilli Beanie Weenie. Jilli Beanie Weenie.
So do you have anything? So we're taping this on Monday right now.

Speaker 1 So we're going to put it out on Friday. Yes.
So So you haven't been able to listen to Wednesday's show just yet, but you did listen to Friday's show, and you listened to Monday's show.

Speaker 1 Do you have anything that you're not mad, but disappointed at us for?

Speaker 6 Well, I'm not mad. Uh-oh.

Speaker 6 Disappointed. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Who is this guy that eats the bugs?

Speaker 1 He's a guy online. We don't know him.
We don't know him.

Speaker 6 Yeah, are you sure? It might be a bear. It's not one of you, but okay.

Speaker 1 Well, we don't know for sure. It could be a bear.
It could be Hank, too. But it's it's an anonymous account.
Aha.

Speaker 6 Well, you got to worry about those. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, as a mother,

Speaker 1 what would you do if one of your children was like, hey, mom, I've been eating bugs my whole life?

Speaker 6 But he started eating ladybugs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, no, you don't eat ladybugs.
They're misogynistic. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Ladybugs are luck. They're good luck.
It's true. However.

Speaker 6 But then you know you did. Okay, go.

Speaker 1 But he has had good luck because he basically has been eating bugs his whole life and he hasn't been bitten by a spider until just now so the luck has been great maybe it's because he stopped eating his gateway bugs and has gone on to bigger things

Speaker 1 well he got what he deserved he did he did finally the bug bite back yeah what about this how about i i feel like you have a keen skeptical mind and in a case like this with the person that's eating the the bugs and the spiders I've heard some feedback that it might not be a real thing.

Speaker 1 So sometimes people post these things online and they just make them up to get a response.

Speaker 1 Because somebody said that the daddy long legs don't build a web and that they don't have long enough fangs to puncture skin. So it might be fake.

Speaker 1 So if you see any of these stories online pop up, I want you to kind of raise the red flag if you see something that doesn't look right, something that doesn't add up, and just be woke for us and just let us know that, hey, that was a cool story you guys told, but I don't know if it's true or not.

Speaker 6 Okay. Can you do that? I can do that, but let's go on if it's true or not.
Okay.

Speaker 6 What about this eating shit?

Speaker 1 What about it? What about it?

Speaker 1 Do you eat shit?

Speaker 1 And explain.

Speaker 1 Explain. Yes.
I do have.

Speaker 1 Well, he doesn't. I do have a shit-eating grin on my face right now.
Well, I love the shitty grin. That always works.

Speaker 1 Who told you that I ate shit? I listen to the show.

Speaker 6 I listened to the show. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And you did not respond. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which actually was a...

Speaker 1 opposite so he didn't respond because I don't think he actually ate the shit but he says he did eat the shit so this is what we're debating right now: is I am standing on the table saying that I ate shit, and Big Cat's saying, nuh-uh, you didn't.

Speaker 1 Your response was very slow. So

Speaker 1 flashback about a year,

Speaker 1 I may have said that I would eat horse poop if the Washington Capitals won the Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 Now, at the time, in my defense, actually, it was just to beat the Penguins, which was our Stanley Cup round. Which was our Stanley Cup at the time.

Speaker 1 So in my defense, at the time, I just kind of agreed to it because I was hungover. I was upset.
I was just getting back from a long trip. I was like excuses.

Speaker 1 And they were taking advantage of me and my weak brain at the time. My brain was about two hours of sleep.
And so it was a weak brain moment.

Speaker 1 I agreed to it, but being a man of integrity and honor, I ended up going up to Central Park, picking out the nicest, juiciest Cladsdale nugget I could find, and chowing down. And Hank saw me.

Speaker 1 But not really on camera.

Speaker 6 So we don't know if that's for sure.

Speaker 1 He turned his back. Only Hank and I will know.
And to be fair, I washed my mouth out right afterwards. And poop is actually sterile, so it's good.
So, are you saying you don't want us to do that?

Speaker 1 Not mad, disappointed if any of us were to eat poop.

Speaker 6 Well, I'd be disappointed if you

Speaker 6 didn't record it in some way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good point.

Speaker 6 I mean, you know, that's Jilly Cooper. I'm not mad, but I'm disappointed because I, you know, seeing is believing that.

Speaker 1 There's a gif out there.

Speaker 1 We can find the video. We'll show you the video.
Sue, I thought for a second: are you upset that that

Speaker 1 I lied about eating shit, maybe?

Speaker 1 Which would you rather? Me not eat shit and say that I ate shit or

Speaker 1 me eat shit and say that I didn't eat shit?

Speaker 1 Which lie would you rather I tell? I don't want you to lie. Yeah.
Okay. Well, I'm not lying.

Speaker 6 Okay. You're not lying.
You did eat shit. I ate Clydesdale.

Speaker 6 That's not Clyde Stales anyway at Central Park.

Speaker 1 I don't know what horses are.

Speaker 1 All I know is they're eating nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Those are beautiful, majestic.
Define eat, because I definitely put it in my mouth and chewed. You chewed? And then, yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, I would have liked an oyster. Just no,

Speaker 1 I didn't swallow it. Damn.
I'm spitters or quitters. I just spit it right back up.
Oh. All right.
So

Speaker 6 that counts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think that counts.
All right. So what else? Is there anything else that you're not mad but disappointed in?

Speaker 6 No, I could go back and we could do a little bit of, I was

Speaker 6 not mad, a little disappointed in but not you guys yeah in your listeners yeah careful about

Speaker 6 the lacrosse and I thought they were a little sensitive I thought we could bust chops here

Speaker 6 but

Speaker 6 you know Paul's now my new BFF okay Paul Rabel yes he's you know all is good

Speaker 6 La Crosse is fine I'm just but I'm Jilly football I'm not Jilly any other sport right right so I I was was just a little taken aback.

Speaker 1 Well, they want to defend their territory. And they should.

Speaker 6 And they did. And I think all is well.
And I'm not going to bring it up again. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're not going to bring up the fact that lacrosse is not a real sport again.

Speaker 6 I guess I won't.

Speaker 1 Yes. Never.
You won't.

Speaker 6 You know, I'm from the West. We didn't play lacrosse.
Right. There was nothing.
It was football. Surfing.

Speaker 1 All you were saying is you wish that it was Zach Efron. Under Delhi.
Of course.

Speaker 1 Of course. Of course.
He's dreamy.

Speaker 1 He is dreamy.

Speaker 1 All right. Do we have our license to Jill?

Speaker 6 We do. All right.

Speaker 1 Let's do it. License to Jill to end out the week.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 Hey, Thrilly Jilly.

Speaker 6 I love these.

Speaker 6 What is your go-to food to cook for the family on holidays? Oh,

Speaker 1 great question.

Speaker 6 Every day's a holiday in our house. Whoa.

Speaker 6 Cake every day. But I don't

Speaker 6 cake every day. Every day.
Cake and pie. Pumpkin pie.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Who cooks anymore?

Speaker 1 That's a good point. So every day is a holiday, but no cooking.

Speaker 6 I gave up cooking. You know, now they all,

Speaker 6 you guys eat differently than what we grew up with.

Speaker 1 We eat. Seamless.

Speaker 6 Seamless. Oh, I discovered seamless.

Speaker 1 Postmates. I'm sorry.
Postmates.

Speaker 6 Oh, I don't know postmates yet, but we'll get you on postmates.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what did you used to like? What was Jill's famous dish

Speaker 6 oh penny a la vodka

Speaker 1 I love vodka

Speaker 6 I can always make

Speaker 1 you just baked Hank for his birthday you cooked

Speaker 6 I like

Speaker 6 he never ate them but I did yeah

Speaker 1 interesting you should just throw them away because they're not good anytime they're very picked damn Hank how could you do that to Jilly it's true you there were so many I ate like 30 of them yeah right okay so so you're a baker not a cooker No, I used to cook, but no, baking, you know, you can just throw everything off the counter, clean it, and bake.

Speaker 6 That's what I like. It relaxes me.

Speaker 1 Okay, next one.

Speaker 6 What was your first time being drunk like and what happened?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 6 how would I know what happened?

Speaker 1 Yeah, true, you blacked out.

Speaker 1 You rage.

Speaker 6 And it was a long time ago, and it was probably

Speaker 6 Southern Comfort.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 6 I started drinking Southern Comfort and Coke, then Southern Comfort and 7-Up, and then just straight Southern Comfort.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 So we used to drink, though, during football games. We'd have peppermint schnapps, and every time we'd have a touchdown.

Speaker 1 Whoa! Yep. We got a party with Julie Football.
UNLV football team.

Speaker 1 UNLV football team.

Speaker 6 Okay. Back in the Ron Meyer days.
All right, next one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 When you're enjoying a glass of wine or two, I don't know, how dangerous are you?

Speaker 6 And what's your go-to drinking song?

Speaker 1 Drinking song.

Speaker 6 I have so many.

Speaker 6 I can, you know, my latest song is something you guys would never know.

Speaker 1 Try me.

Speaker 6 It's called.

Speaker 1 Black Eye Peace.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. We don't get it.
Let's get it. It's a long way to tipperary.
I walked right into that one. Oh, yeah.
It's a long way to Monday's show. I walked right into that one.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 A long way to Tipperary. A long way to Tipperary, yeah.
It's a long way to Tipperary.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 And two, come on. It's a nice Irish drinking song.

Speaker 6 It's a great Irish drinking song. So, you know,

Speaker 6 I don't drink Guinness, but I do enjoy my Irish coffee.

Speaker 1 So you just load it all the time.

Speaker 6 All the time.

Speaker 1 You got like nine examples of your favorite drinking songs.

Speaker 1 Always. Okay.
I love it. Do you got any others?

Speaker 6 I think that's it for today. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, Jilly football, thank you, as always. So, we're taping it on a Monday because you're going to be out this week, but we will see you in a week.
We're going to miss you. Oh.

Speaker 1 Are you going to miss us?

Speaker 6 Maybe some chocolate chips. I'll listen though.
I'll listen.

Speaker 1 Maybe some chocolate chip cookies when you come back or some brownies to make us feel like we weren't totally neglected. I don't know.
I'm sorry. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like, you know what I like is cupcakes, but not the cupcakes that are, like, have the huge pile of frosting on top. Just like a normal cupcake.
Yeah. Oh.

Speaker 1 So darling Jake, I should bring him some pubcakes. Yes.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You can buy it. You can buy the cupcakes.
Oh, yeah. Bring us back a pub sub.

Speaker 1 From public subscribers. Public sub.

Speaker 6 You got to give me your order.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'll take a buffalo chicken.
Yeah, I'll do the same. Thank you.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So we'll see those in what, like a week? Yep.
Okay, hopefully they

Speaker 1 stay fresh, yeah. All right, jelly beans.
What about gas for the jelly beans? Just like the fart cloud, because of beans. Ooh, that's good.
I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 I was thinking it was more like the can, you know, the jelly beans, but yeah. Yeah, okay, we'll figure it out.
We'll workshop, we'll, we'll crowdsource the emojis that jelly beans have.

Speaker 6 But can I ask a question

Speaker 6 that has nothing to do with, but has to do with Twitter?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay, so I've been on Twitter, and I know the at sign, like at

Speaker 1 911, yeah.

Speaker 6 But what is, what, what does

Speaker 6 a hashtag mean?

Speaker 1 Hashtag means that

Speaker 1 people are talking about that word. So if you do hashtag jilly beans, then other people can see, they can click on the jilli beans and see who else has used that phrase jilli beans all over Twitter.

Speaker 1 Does that make sense? No. Okay.
I don't know how else to explain it. Okay, so all right, so if you're like, so if the game's on, all right, the 49ers are playing.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Boom, huge touchdown for the 49ers. You'll be like, that was an awesome touchdown.
Hashtag 49ers. So you can see everyone else talking about the 49ers.

Speaker 6 But why?

Speaker 1 Because you want to ask us why. You want to know how, not why.

Speaker 1 Actually, if you want to figure out how to use hashtags, go to Samuel L. Jackson's Twitter account.
He'll figure it out. He'll show you how.
It's very simple. Well,

Speaker 6 I heard that and I thought, this guy sounds like me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you know what? Just hashtag however you want.

Speaker 1 Hashtag random words. Hashtags aren't very important.
Oh, they're not important. No, no.

Speaker 1 I think if you use them you're either darren revell bleep that name out you're a narciss or you're you're a narc yeah or you just use hashtags however you want okay okay so any words you want

Speaker 1 hashtag this week promise okay i promise at least one promise at least one hashtag okay jilly thank you appreciate it we'll see you next week okay love you guys

Speaker 1 Don't kick your way.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm about to say or say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is another day. If I find you shy away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of tree.

Speaker 1 Shy it away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of free.

Speaker 1 Take the mixture.

Speaker 1 Heedless to say

Speaker 1 I'll sit in this But free, so let it wave.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning my life is okay.

Speaker 1 Stay after me.

Speaker 1 Life's so better to be safe and sorry. Stay after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 Take on me.