Joe Buck, Laila Ali, US Open, AD Trade, And Mt Rushmore Of Dad Moves

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Speaker 1 Wayfair, every style, every home. On today's Pardon My Take, we have crowned the U.S.
Open Champion. It's not Brooks Kepka.
We're not mad. Gary Woodland.
Recap of everything.

Speaker 1 We also have Joe Buck who calls in right after. Pebble Beach concludes the Anthony Davis trade.
Who's back of the week? An awesome interview with Layla Ali.

Speaker 1 We actually can say that we mentally

Speaker 1 TKO'd Muhammad Ali. No.
We MKO'd him. MKO'd, yeah, Layla, and then by transitive property, the greatest of all time, Muhammad Ali.
She She had MKO'd her dad. Right.

Speaker 1 And so, by the way, we are the heavyweight champion of the world.

Speaker 1 We're also... Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
So we also have the return of Mount Rushmore season. Mount Rushmore of dad moves in honor of Father's Day and then a Monday reading that's very, very gross.

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Speaker 1 let's go.

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Speaker 1 Today is Monday, June 17th, and the Gucci gang fell just short. Well, it was close.
And here's a quick spin zone for Brooks Kepka fans, all the Brooks stands out there. Yes.

Speaker 1 He said to us that he's really focusing on the Open Championship this year, the British Open. That's the one he doesn't have.
He really, really wants that one. He's already won two U.S.
Opens.

Speaker 1 Don't get greedy. So, yeah, you know, he was looking ahead to whatever fucked-up course they're going to be on in a couple months, probably whistling.

Speaker 1 Where are they going? No, St. Andrews.

Speaker 1 Yeah, St. Michael's, whatever, just Saint-something in Scotland or Wales or Ireland.

Speaker 1 I don't know. But I

Speaker 1 listen, Brooks put up a valiant effort. He was going for the three-peat, which would have been incredible to watch.
Would have been a dynasty. Would have been a dynasty.

Speaker 1 But I think there is a certain element of whatever the best story is for Father's Day will happen, and that was Gary Woodland. And he was fantastic.

Speaker 1 Sinking the last putt, which is always like a huge moment. You never want to be the guy who gets like a bogey on the last hole to win by one stroke.

Speaker 1 He cashed that last putt. It was very emotional.
The crowd was chanting chanting, Gary, Gary, which is not like a name that rolls off the tongue for the chant. But everyone was like, Gary, Gary.

Speaker 1 So congrats to him. We're going to get to the AD trade.
We're going to do some U.S. Open Talk first.

Speaker 1 The Course. Let's talk about the Coast.
The Course fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 A bit of a disappointment for the guys that root for the Course out there. It had a couple of highlights.
Now, a couple. I'll say this.

Speaker 1 The way that it ends at Pebble Beach when they have a big fucking tree that's just growing in the middle of the fairway, that's always cool. That is cool.

Speaker 1 It's like, okay, you don't get that anywhere else and you have to shape your shot around the fucking tree.

Speaker 1 The tree of life is like the tree of life from Avatar. Yeah, yeah, I never saw it.
Well, soon Avatar 2 is going to come out in 2028.

Speaker 1 Yeah, as soon as Alabama and it's usually like Illinois finished doing their home and home that they've already scheduled.

Speaker 1 As soon as all those weirdos that got super depressed that they weren't part of the,

Speaker 1 what was the name of the Avatar Nation? The Unobtanium. Yeah, as soon as...
Did you remember that? After Avatar ended,

Speaker 1 there were stories in like the New York Times being like people are depressed. They're not part of like the blue world.
They're not part of the world that they created.

Speaker 1 I go through that every morning. I've had iron avatars.
Listen, join the rest of us because that's a feeling everyone else gets when they get done watching porn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I get depressed that I wasn't in that orgy. So yeah,

Speaker 1 the tree of life was nice. And then the seagull that swooped down and tried to eat Phil Mickelson's tea shot.
Yes. That was pretty cool.
I'd like to see more nature get involved. Some fescue.

Speaker 1 Some rough. There was a bit of fescue here and there.
Some sand shots. Yeah, just overall, kind of a disappointing showing from the course.

Speaker 1 I feel like it's got to drop a little bit in the world rankings. Yeah, the red numbers on Sunday, not great when you're trying to defend the course for the U.S.
Open.

Speaker 1 Now, there is a little bit of controversy because people were saying that Woodland was playing too slow. And Brooks got bored.

Speaker 1 There was a moment where they were like, Brooks is held up because they can't find someone else's ball. He was just hanging out.
It was reported that he was talking about dipping

Speaker 1 with the guy he was playing with, Chez. And Shay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, by the way, just a sidebar here, two great names on Sunday, Chez Reevey and Chessin Hadley. The fact that he wasn't playing for the Atla.
Yeah, I thought that was

Speaker 1 insane. Chessin Hadley.
Chestin Hadley. No, Chessin.
No, Tessin. Oh, Chessin.
Chessin Hadley. So, yeah, Brooks got screwed by the fact that everything was moving too slow.

Speaker 1 And we know Brooks doesn't like to play slow. He likes to play fast.
He actually was playing ahead of the camera.

Speaker 1 There was multiple times where we just didn't see his live shot because he was so fast. He's an adrenaline guy.
So the second you slow him down, it was like putting in a relief pitcher.

Speaker 1 They kind of took the rhythm out of Brooks because he started out, he birdied the first like three or four holes. Yeah, he was on fire.
He was on fire at the start.

Speaker 1 And then once he started to get bored, as he said, like holes,

Speaker 1 seven through 12, it's like, just get rid of those holes. He was right.
Just get rid of those ones and he'd be fine. Yeah, he would have been the champion.
But it was a valiant effort by Brooks.

Speaker 1 He also, we also had an all-time Brooks Blake. By the way, I just keep calling him Blake, like in the privacy of my own home.

Speaker 1 I've been saying Blake and just being like, that's not his name, but I've been saying it.

Speaker 1 He on Saturday, it was cold at Pebble Beach, and Joel Clatt asked Brooks after the round, why don't you get like maybe like a cup of coffee or something to warm up your hands?

Speaker 1 And he just matter of factly said, I've never had a hot drink in my life. And he was like, what?

Speaker 1 Well, I grew up in Florida, so like hot cocoa, nope. never had a hot drink in his life.
In shades of Blake Bortles telling us that snow is in fact wet

Speaker 1 back in 2017 or 16, this guy, this guy, Blake Kepka, he's doing it. He is a very, very Florida man.
Yeah, and I don't blame.

Speaker 1 Like, you grew up in Florida, the hottest drink you have is just a beer that you left out in the sun for too long.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that's like their version of tea, is just a 40 of Milwaukee's best ice that you left on your back porch in May.

Speaker 1 He's the inverse of Nick Van Exel just finally, like at at the age of 50, figuring out that iced coffee. That's still, by the way, an underrated storyline.

Speaker 1 If you don't know, Nick Van Exel has lived his entire life until last week, not knowing that iced coffee existed.

Speaker 1 Not saying I don't like iced coffee. He was mad at everyone for not telling him about iced coffee.

Speaker 1 Listen, Florida's got a lot of great things down there. And then he goes to bed at night.
He's like, going to bed, can't wait to wake up for my iced coffee. Now it's life-changing.

Speaker 1 He's going to get really into iced coffee for like a couple weeks and then forget about it for another 40 years. It's like

Speaker 1 the moments in life for Nick Van Exel is just everything in between his next iced coffee. It's like when 50 Cent was at a club.

Speaker 1 No, he was at like dinner somewhere and he ordered a grapefruit soda and they brought it out. He's like, why the fuck isn't this purple?

Speaker 1 He didn't know that a grapefruit was different than the fruit grapefruit. The first grapefruit.
Yeah, right. So yeah,

Speaker 1 that's our iced coffee.

Speaker 1 And Blake Kepka never having a hot drink sidebar. But yeah, so the course sucked.

Speaker 1 Blake almost won. He should have won, but he didn't.
Gary Woodland, great story. Father's Day story.
I know he's got, you know, he had that clip

Speaker 1 from the Waste Management Open, which is so funny. They're like, they keep showing this emotional clip of Gary Woodland

Speaker 1 basically having, I don't even know what the premise behind it was, but there was a mentally retarded girl who played the hole with him, and I think she just nailed her putt.

Speaker 1 It was like an all-time tear jerker moment, but the fact they have to keep saying at the waste management open is so fucking funny. Yeah, no, it is great.

Speaker 1 They should have Pauly from the Sopranos deliver the award every year for that.

Speaker 1 For excellence in the field of waste disposal. I wrote down a couple other notes about the U.S.

Speaker 1 developmentally challenged. What are you supposed to say? Mentally challenged.
Mentally challenged. Mental challenge? Yeah.
Whatever it was, it was a great story. I'm sorry.
No, there's.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to say that? I don't know. Okay, we'll that out.

Speaker 1 A

Speaker 1 person with Down syndrome. Yeah, Yeah, so yeah, she was developmentally challenged in some way, and she was playing with Gary.

Speaker 1 It was a great

Speaker 1 challenge. We're losing track.
I feel like that's even worse. We're losing the track of what the story was.
Right. And that was this girl made an awesome thing.
I can't keep up with what she was

Speaker 1 doing.

Speaker 3 A guy that you want to root for.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
So the other things I wrote down. How much does it suck, do you think, to be in the final pairing? What are you looking at me for, Hank? What is it? Google it.

Speaker 1 Ask it. Do a poll on Twitter right now.
No. And just have people try to figure out what we're talking about.
Hard no. Be like,

Speaker 1 what is the proper name for this?

Speaker 1 Listen, I can't keep up with it. I meant no, no,

Speaker 1 you know, I didn't mean to offend anybody. I know, I just figured out.

Speaker 1 I figured we'd have the conversation.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 about some

Speaker 1 about all of that. Breaking news, the Open Championship will be held at Royal Port Rush Golf Club in Northern Ireland.
Perfect. So the Protestants finally get their due.
Rory.

Speaker 1 Rory is going to absolutely know. I always get confused when I see the Northern Ireland flag pop up next to somebody's name.

Speaker 1 I'm like, wait, that just looks like a more racist english flag yes yes so all right so i wrote down this justin rose liam neeson's gonna be walking around with a putter just looking to crush somebody yeah he's what was the thing during the trouble

Speaker 1 during the trouble a cudgel a cudgel yeah he's canceled so he's not invited that guy wow he's not but is he canceled i feel like he's gonna just come out with a movie where he hunts someone down and everyone's like oh yeah liam neson's back well put it this way we're still making movies with mel gibson true star he had to come back yeah uh all right so justin rose i always find it fascinating when you're in the final pairing and you're with the winner, the eventual winner, and you just fucking suck on Sunday.

Speaker 1 That's got to be the worst. Like, in terms of all the sports, because if you suck in a team sport, you're getting put on the bench.
You know, you have a moment, but it's over.

Speaker 1 He literally knew, like, probably about eight holes in. Today's not my day.
I stink.

Speaker 1 And the cameras just have to keep watching him. And then at the end, Gary Woodland sinks his putt.
Everyone's chanting Gary, Gary, and then Justin Rose still has to go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, pathetically finishes round where I think he shot plus four. That is maybe the worst spot to be in pro sports.
Oh, it's tough. It's very, very tough.

Speaker 1 Do they do like the pro-am the week after

Speaker 1 the U.S. Open? I don't know why.
Because, I mean, this is classic Chris Berman territory here. The Pebble Beach Pro-Am.
That's where he comes out and he shots.

Speaker 1 I think the course needs a couple weeks to recoup. Well, yeah, it does need some time off.
I would go try to find yourself. Should we just stop rebuild your swing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, someone's got to come out and just fill in all the divots with that weird green sand that they have in the back of course carts.

Speaker 1 If you really want to fuck up the course and make it nasty again, just let Berman play four rounds on it. Yeah.
And just have him sweat all over and take divots out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and just, you know, by the way, Gary Woodland, very, very poor sport when he chipped off the green. We were saying that that's something that as golf guys, I didn't even know that was legal.

Speaker 1 If you do that at my club that I don't belong to, you're out. You're out, man.
We actually had, this is how much we know about golf. We had a real discussion while it was happening.

Speaker 1 Like, wait, can you do that? Can you chip on the go? Are you allowed to chip off the green? As long as you don't take a divot and you apologize to the course afterwards.

Speaker 1 I think that if you're in the last group, you're allowed to do that. Yeah.
Because you can't fuck it up anymore. That's true.
Good point. Okay, so the other thing we've got to talk about, the.

Speaker 1 Wait, real quick with Woodland. I like how he tapes his fingers.
Yes. So he looks.
He kind of feels like a real athlete. Yeah, he looks like he's a defensive back in the NFL.

Speaker 1 And that's a lot of these golf guys, they carry around a chip on their shoulder where it's like, I could be a real athlete if I wanted to, so I'm just going to put on this Kinesio tape on my neck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm going to sleep with Perkins waitresses like I'm a member of the Showtime Lakers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to bench. And so this is Woodland's way of doing Navy Seals.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Basically, tape up all his fingers so he looks like a catcher trying to get his pitcher to see that he's calling for a curve. Exactly.

Speaker 1 All right. So the other story we got to get to.
This league. The Raptors couldn't even have the Raptors, the poor Raptors, man.
They got cucked by Clay Thompson's ACL.

Speaker 1 And then two days later, Anthony Davis gets traded to the Lakers in the trade that we all kind of expected to happen that finally happened. And everyone's talking about that.

Speaker 1 Everyone's talking about this league. Everyone's talking about the Lakers going to win the championship next year.
The chip. And I couldn't even remember who won the title this year.
Oh, the Raptors.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, the Raptors. That's right.
Yeah, so not an American team. Yeah, yeah, not the American American American.
The other team. But yeah, so AD going to the Lakers.

Speaker 1 This is an immediate whose man situation. Yeah.
Whose man is the Lakers? Is it LeBron James' team or is it Kyrie's team? Well, it is.

Speaker 1 It's LeBron's team for this reason, because if you were part of LeBron's team, this is since 2000, July 2010, Bobby Marks tweeted this. There's been 42 trades if you were on LeBron's team.

Speaker 1 Miami had 11. Cleveland had 27, and the Lakers have four.
So essentially, if you're on LeBron's team, it's not an if, it's just a when LeBron will decide to trade you.

Speaker 1 And shout out Kyle Kuzma somehow. Like I was listening to this.
I think they just forgot that he worked there.

Speaker 1 No, so from everything I've heard, read, listened to, Kyle Kuzma just became best friends with LeBron. Smart.
Like, he was the smart one where

Speaker 1 I'm going to be LeBron's friend here and show that I'm very mature and not be Lonzo Ball. And then eventually I'll get to stick around with LeBron.

Speaker 1 And when we lose in the seventh game of the Western Conference finals, everyone can blame me and not LeBron.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, every office in America has that person that isn't very good at their job, but they become very, very close friends with the person who is. And so then

Speaker 1 you're totally indispensable at that point. So shout out to Kuzma, but I do want to say there's a curse that's been put on the curse that we have to talk about.
Big time. And that is the ball curse.

Speaker 1 Yes. The big baller brand curse.

Speaker 1 LeVar said that they will never win another championship. After trading away his son.
His direct quote, it will be the worst move the Lakers ever did. Does he know they traded for Dwight Howard?

Speaker 1 It will be the worst move the Lakers ever did in their life, and they will never win another championship. Guarantee it.

Speaker 1 So this is like the David Griffin.

Speaker 1 Remember when he did the, obviously everyone remembers the Comic Sans post, but part of that Comic Sans post was, we are going to win a title before LeBron ever does. No.
It didn't happen.

Speaker 1 Also, Dan Gilbert, way to fire David Griffin over like $500,000, and David Griffin just goes to the Pelicans and pulls off a pretty nice fucking deal for Anthony Davis where he gets.

Speaker 1 So, we're going to get it. We have our PMT Sports Biz intern, Jake, here.
I think,

Speaker 1 from what I understand, the Pelicans just own every Lakers' picks forever. I don't understand how to swap like every year, and then if they don't want it, they still get it.

Speaker 1 The NBA is so they make things needlessly complicated.

Speaker 1 I could spend five years trying to figure out exactly what all these picks mean and like the definition of the word asset, and I would never understand it.

Speaker 1 The only thing I do know is that when LeBron, well past LeBron's career, so he'll be retired, A.D.

Speaker 1 will probably be retired, there will be a day where we're sitting there, we're like 45 watching the NBA lottery go down, and they're going to be like, just remember, the Pelicans still have six more of Lakers' picks.

Speaker 1 Well, that's smart, so we won't know who won the trade like ever. Right.

Speaker 1 It's like when

Speaker 1 the Celtics traded KG and Pierce to the Nets, and the Nets gave up every pick for the rest of the year. Everything.
So New Orleans is going to just be like LA South. Right.

Speaker 1 Okay, so tell us, Jake, and then there's also this thing where if the trade goes down July 6th, the Lakers have cap room, but if it doesn't, they don't. Explain it to us.
Yeah, so the two biggest...

Speaker 6 We'll talk to Mike.

Speaker 7 So the two biggest differences, July 6th and July 30th, are the two big differences for when the trade can go down. And July 6th, a very specific date, it's the end of the free agent moratorium date,

Speaker 7 which is the first week of free agency. They moved it to June 30th at 6 p.m.

Speaker 1 So it's not an overnight thing.

Speaker 7 So if July 6th happens, which Wodes reported is most likely, it will leave the Lakers without enough cap space to sign another free agent.

Speaker 7 It'll be $27.5 million, but Anthony Davis has a $4 million trade bonus on the table.

Speaker 7 So if he takes that, it gets stocked down to $23.5 million.

Speaker 1 He won't, though. Right.
Because Rich Paul and LeBron,

Speaker 1 they'll be like, come on, dude.

Speaker 7 So that's the difference. If he wants, he can help out the team.

Speaker 1 We'll put you in Space Jam too, and we'll pay you $10 million for one of the sidekicks.

Speaker 1 sidekicks we'll give you some bitcoin stuff yeah exactly we'll give you a row of grape trees yeah yeah exactly so

Speaker 7 if it was july 30th it would actually help the lakers because then okay they would have 32 and a half million dollars which puts you in the category kemba kyrie etc but the pelicans would be docked from 19 million to 15 million if that happens so the pelicans being in the power position they really have no

Speaker 1 reason to do

Speaker 1 it. So they're going to want to wait.

Speaker 1 The Lakers will want to to wait.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 I even got confused while he was explaining it. I zoned out.
This sounds like such a complicated deal.

Speaker 1 Can I put this in the ESPN trade machine? And will it work? That's all I need to know. I have not tried that.
If it works, then I'm like, great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, all right, so what are we rooting for, Jake?

Speaker 1 Why do we want LeBron to have as little help as possible? Right.

Speaker 7 You always root for chaos, I guess, too.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 7 Here's another thing.

Speaker 7 If the trade doesn't go down until July 30th, from what I read, don't quote me on this, but I think the Lakers will be picking for the Pelicans, which sets up the awkward draft hat.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, that's great. And it's going to actually, yeah, I actually am.
Okay, I got it. Thank you, Jake.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I want it to go all the way to July 30th, so not only is it the awkward draft hat, but the guy who the Pelicans take or the Lakers take can't play for the Pelicans in Summer League. Right.

Speaker 1 That's very funny. That's nice.
That's a nice little wrinkle that we've never had. So the trade machine right now already has Anthony Davis on the Lakers.
That's a bit cocky, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is a little cocky. I don't like that out of my trade machine.
I'm thinking about that. Like, what if one of them just happened to, like, what if Lonzo Ball tore his ACL tomorrow? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They can always cancel it, right?

Speaker 1 They can cancel it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, it's not official for until July 6th.

Speaker 1 Listen, I take it back. This is not Kyrie's team.
It's not LeBron's team. This is Rob Palinka's team.
It's true. By the way, Pelicans, this league, they tweeted out the gif of, and here we go.

Speaker 1 Heath Ledger, little. Got him.
Batman, circa 2009. Shout out John Ross team.
All right, so the other things I wrote down about this trade, they're going to have to, the Lakers, this is my favorite.

Speaker 1 When the Lakers are back in the spot where they're going to have a really good team, and they probably will win the West now that the Warriors are hurt, they though, the thing is, they're going to have to fill up this roster with just randoms because they can't really pay anyone else besides Kemba if he comes, and then Anthony Davis and LeBron and Kuzma.

Speaker 1 So I'm hoping that...

Speaker 1 Carmel Anthony, who is not officially retired, he would be a nice piece. He'd be very nice.
Pay him just whatever the either there's like a mid-level, I don't know what the fuck it is.

Speaker 1 This seems like Wayne Wade. Perfect landing spot for Spencer Haas, too.
Spencer Hawes. He's in their system.

Speaker 1 There are a lot of guys out there who I would like to see get a little run for the Lakers at $0.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 When do the expiring contracts come into play? Can't they just load up? Can't they just have like six open spots on their bench just with pieces of paper that say expiring contracts? Pretty much.

Speaker 1 Pretty much. But the NBA is so fucked up with how they do their trades.
It is. I'm dumb.
The NFL is great. They're just like, okay, this guy is getting traded for this guy and then this pick.

Speaker 1 And then in baseball, you have like the player to be named later. Yeah.
How does that work? Is it just on the GM to be like? It's like there's like a list.

Speaker 1 We're not going to fuck you and we're going to name a player later. Yeah, there's a short list.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the other thing with the NFL is that we've also figured out that contracts mean nothing. The signing bonus is everything, which is nice.
Hank.

Speaker 1 Do you remember? Go back in the time machine. Thursday night.
We finished taping around 2 in the morning. I was on my way home.
I saw the Clay Thompson news.

Speaker 1 I hopped on the group text, and I said, fuck, LeBron's going to win a title with the Lakers. And you said, chill.
Are you still chill?

Speaker 5 I'm always chill.

Speaker 1 Daddy's always happy.

Speaker 5 But yeah, I mean, probably the worst case scenario.

Speaker 1 You just did a junior review. I was hoping

Speaker 1 the eyebrow came out of the balloon.

Speaker 5 It started in the group text. I was like, when we were talking about how Clay Thompson was out, and I was like, the Celtics should just go in all in France

Speaker 1 for a year, regardless.

Speaker 5 Even if he's not going to re-sign, it should just do it. And maybe if they win, he'll re-sign, kind of like Kawhi.
And then you're like, no, he's going to sign with the Lakers.

Speaker 1 You know what? Is this Houston's year? Dude, no. Houston's a mess.
I mean, they. But Chris Paul's got the worst contract in sports.
They haven't made it.

Speaker 1 It sucks because LeBron always does this somehow.

Speaker 5 It always ends up to work out for him. I know.

Speaker 1 Well, Richard. And now

Speaker 5 the worst part is, too, like Clay Thompson and Kevin Durant both being injured, like they have time to do Space Jam.

Speaker 1 Yes. But they're hurt.
They can't do space.

Speaker 1 They would probably have to play. They can just

Speaker 1 CGI. They could be players that get all their talent and ligaments stolen by the Monsters.
Right, exactly. Okay.
No, it's

Speaker 1 LeBron, like the Lakers are going to be really good next year.

Speaker 5 Because Anthony Davis, hey, Kawhi's not going to go to the Clippers, so it's going to be LA's still going to be LeBron's team.

Speaker 1 The Lakers, like, throughout there, I love that. The Lakers are going to be interested in Kawhi.
Everyone's fucking interested in Kawhi. I'm interested in Kawaii.
Everyone, yeah,

Speaker 1 we want Kawhi to be the third host here.

Speaker 1 He wouldn't say much. Internship.
It would be great. Actually, he'd be great to have just, you know, how on Conan O'Brien they had Andy Richter as the laughing guy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just have Kawhi with a microphone just go, huh?

Speaker 1 I think that should be the worst. Yeah.
It would go back to like the first episode where we had like the air horns and all that shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the Pelicans, though, let's talk about their side of the trade. I actually think that like this was the best possible scenario for them.
And I'm saying that because

Speaker 1 at midway through the season in February, it was like, okay, Anthony Davis is about to get traded. And they're like, nope, we're going to wait.

Speaker 1 By waiting and not playing Anthony Davis, they were able to essentially get Zion. Obviously, they had to get the lottery luck.

Speaker 1 But if they played Anthony Davis, or if they had traded Anthony Davis and gotten a bunch of players that then tried. That accidentally improved their draft.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 So in a weird backwards way, the Pelicans wanted a franchise player out of the Anthony Davis trade, and they sort of got one with Zion.

Speaker 1 And then Lonzo Ball, who I actually don't think is as bad as people think he is, he still can't shoot, whatever.

Speaker 1 But he's a nice piece, and then they own every pick forever. Yeah, New Orleans is going to be interesting to watch next year.

Speaker 1 I was a little bit looking forward to the outside chance that Zion and A.D. were going to play together at some point.

Speaker 1 Here's the one thing that sucks about New Orleans is that Julius Randall just decided not to take his option for the Pelicans, so he's going to be an unrestricted free agent.

Speaker 1 Julius Randle and Zion Williamson would have been the chonkest front court of all time. Big, big boy.
It would have been incredible. Big boys.

Speaker 1 Those asses thrown around in the paint, watch out. And then you know, Sean Payton likes to always.
Sean Payton is the king of tampering with other sports athletes.

Speaker 1 So he's discovered a loophole in it where he can try to pilfer. He's going to try to get Zion out to a few practices this summer, at the training camp a few times.

Speaker 1 But yeah, he would have loved having those two big boys in town, just so he could throw out a tweet every now and then, like being like, hey, we need a tight end. Yep.
We need another tight end.

Speaker 1 Ben Watson, not here.

Speaker 1 And again, I can't stress this enough. Dan Gilbert, you're an idiot.
Because David Griffin, like,

Speaker 1 he just doesn't give contracts to coaches and fronts,

Speaker 1 yeah, and just makes LeBron want to leave twice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a franchise, yeah, a once-in-a-generation talent who was born an hour away, and he makes it so that he doesn't want to be there twice. Now, is A.D.

Speaker 1 the best player to ever play with LeBron James? Oh, we get to do the Lakers center thing, too. Uh-huh.
Yeah, we get to do all those, and they somehow skip over Dwight Howells. Is he a true Laker?

Speaker 1 And what's his name?

Speaker 1 No, Andrew Bynum. Fucking no respect for Andrew Bynum.
Are you leaving out? You're leaving out my man, Kwame Brown. And Kwame Brown, too.
There's a lot of Lakers centers. We're just fucking

Speaker 1 everyone's forgetting. But yeah, Anthony Davis, is he the best player to...
Yeah, I'd probably say so. Him or Dwayne Wade?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 3 Deli.

Speaker 1 I mean, Kyrie is up there as well. Kyrie's definitely going to go to the Nets now and just be weird and probably hate it after like a year.
It's so dumb. Because he hates everywhere.

Speaker 5 It's like a slightly worse situation than the Celtics have.

Speaker 3 Kyrie is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's the least weird that he would be, like, that Kyrie could be on a team? Like, what team has the strongest group of people around him that could just be like, hey, Kyrie, just be cool.

Speaker 1 Just be normal. Kyrie reminds me of when I was like 11.
I was like, I want to do karate. And then, like, you know, after like two weeks, I was like, I fucking hate karate.

Speaker 1 Like, that's what he does with a team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right, exactly. Like, when you're scatter-brained and you're like, oh, how about hockey? Mighty Ducks was cool.
And they're like, no, I don't want to do this. I don't want to wake up early.

Speaker 1 That's Kyrie, but just with professional

Speaker 1 basketball. I think he's a different franchise.
He just might have ADD.

Speaker 1 Put him on some Riddling. Let him lock in somewhere.
You got to get him on the show, though. In Brooklyn? We'll just hunt him down.

Speaker 1 He'll probably fucking live in Williamsburg and just do weird shit on Instagram. You know he will.
Yeah. He seems like a guy that would take a long board around town.
Yes, for sure.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's the Anthony Davis trade. Sorry to the Raptors.
You basically got cucked out of all your championship talk.

Speaker 1 I also think that it's a bad thing to win a title and then have your parade be on the weekend because people kind of forget how to do it. Oh, yeah.
It's

Speaker 1 off the move.

Speaker 1 No, I know the blues though. They had Saturday.

Speaker 1 Like I saw Brett Hull was the drunkest man in America, but you need to have your parade be on like a Thursday or Friday so all the like Sports Center just covers it.

Speaker 1 ESPN covers it from like start to finish and everyone sitting in their cube hating their life watches every moment and like oh this is cool.

Speaker 1 It loses some of the coolness when you see a guy like Brett Hull be extremely drunk but it's a Saturday. Like I want that to be on a weekday at like 11 a.m.

Speaker 8 I don't want that shit to be like okay this is a normal hour hour for somebody to be drunk at yes the pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado built for the hustle ready for the game Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready just like football it's about grit grind and getting it done head to chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado okay Hank why don't you start who's back my who's I have a few who's back of the week

Speaker 5 my first one is singing boxers Yeah. So a few weeks ago, listeners of this show were introduced to Manny Pacquiao's beautiful singing voice.
Yeah. I did some karaoke with you guys.

Speaker 5 And then on Saturday night, Tyson Fury had a second-round knockout. And after the fight, he belted out a perfect rendition to Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.

Speaker 1 It was so awkward. He sung it for like two and a half minutes.
Wait, the whole thing. Everyone thought it was going to be about maybe three lines, and he just kept on going.
He loves the song, man.

Speaker 1 He loves the song. Also, both those guys hate gay people a lot.
Oh, really? Yeah, they're both really not good. I just want to see another Fury Wilder fight.
Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that would be great. And Fury doing the Matrix thing.
Did you see that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a sick clip. Yeah.
He's, yeah, that was weird, though. That was pretty awkward with him just like, hey, man.
Just fucking watch. Why are you still singing?

Speaker 1 You're doing the whole song? It's like, you guys singing take on the shit. Oh, shit.
We're doing the Liv Tyler with the fucking

Speaker 1 Animal Cracker. Ben Affleck puts it on her.

Speaker 1 And the Animal Cracker climbs a mountain. That's her tits.
By the way,

Speaker 1 by the way, that is a really hot scene. Don't try that scene at home because it doesn't work as well in real life if you're not Ben Affleck about to go save the world from an asteroid.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, the girl's just like, why are you getting crumbs all over my tits? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Again. My other who's back.

Speaker 5 I had a couple other ones. We talked about LeVar.
My other Who's Back of the Week is Spike Ball. Yes.
So I was on TV.

Speaker 5 I noticed, I forget who, but some big journalists put up a video of it, got like 350,000 views.

Speaker 1 That's a pretty good sign of

Speaker 5 increased potential viewership. It's a very fun sport to play.

Speaker 1 apparently people play it indoors which is that's weird i watched the whole thing pure it was ridiculous play it outdoors that's a beach sport it was ridiculous they were doing the lingo the flango

Speaker 1 the lobster trap dude it was it was so ridiculous and then uh

Speaker 1 and i realized that this hurts the case for lacrosse because it was literally opposite of the pl

Speaker 1 I still like you Paul Rabel. I might even love you.
But spike ball, I could not keep my eyes off it. And then it finished.
That's not lacrosse's fault. You know who's worst dude ever?

Speaker 1 The old SVP resilio bit? The worst dude ever? The guy who responded and said, dude, this result happened two months ago. Thanks.
Oh, it's a replay? Yeah, thanks. I wasn't

Speaker 1 checking up on my spike ball. You ruined the majesty of the finals.
Yeah. God damn it.
Now you just ruined it for me. Now you're the worst person.

Speaker 1 That's fine. I am.
Breaking news, Georgia won two months ago.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Sucked.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck cares? That's why I've been getting my ass kicked in my Spike Ball Fantasy League is because I didn't know that the the results were two months old.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine being that guy, though, who actually knows what the results are and then goes online and is like, hey, idiot, this happened two months ago? Like, he turned it on.

Speaker 5 She was excited.

Speaker 3 He was like, let's go.

Speaker 5 Spikeball. And I was like, oh, I've seen this before.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Fuck.
Yeah, no, he probably was there. He was probably one of the 50 people that were going absolute bananas for Georgia to win it.
The home court was insane. Like, they had a big time edge.

Speaker 1 Toughest gym. Jim to win in.
Yeah, toughest gym by far. So shout out, Georgia.
I know you didn't make the playoff, but you won the spike ball championship. Anything else?

Speaker 5 No, that's it.

Speaker 1 That's it. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 My who's back of the week is U.S. Rugby.

Speaker 1 U.S. Rugby is back.
The women won first place in the tournament this weekend. So they finished the season, you guessed it, second.
Nice. And they also were the only team to make the semifinals.

Speaker 1 The only team to make the semifinals in every tournament this year. Oh, wow.
So second place, U.S. Women's Rugby Sevens.
Congratulations. U.S.
Rugby is back.

Speaker 1 Also, my who's back of the week is OJ. Yes.
OJ's back, and this time he's back on Twitter just making videos talking about what he's going to talk about using his Twitter account.

Speaker 1 He basically is doing what we wanted Jill to do. Yeah.
He's learning how to use a joke.

Speaker 1 He's learning how to use Twitter, except all that he's saying is just when I start to use Twitter, I'm going to go after, I'm going to get even with a lot of people that have been saying some bad shit.

Speaker 1 That's what you always want to hear from OJ. Can I also, you know, what sucks?

Speaker 1 Like, the OJ, the cottage industry that will come off of OJ on Twitter of people being like, fuck OJ, and be like, dude, we know he's a dog. Like, we all agree.
Yeah, it sucks.

Speaker 1 Just like getting the retweets, and then the other people who are trolling OJ, like, OJ's becoming his own Twitter cottage industry, and I'm not, I don't care for him.

Speaker 1 It sucks that the Krassenstein brothers have already been banned from Twitter because they would have some fire replies to OJ.

Speaker 1 I told him to suck my dick the other night, but I just wanted to get that off my chest. He just wanted to get the retweets.

Speaker 1 Do it one time and just tell OJ, hey, OJ, when else am I going to have the opportunity to tell Orinthal James Simpson to wrap his lips around my dick and suck it?

Speaker 5 Fake fake OJ accounts are also back, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fake, fake OJ accounts. But you know what I mean, PFT.
Like, there's going to be a lot of people

Speaker 1 who think, well, also, people who think that they're like a spicy take to be like, I don't like double murdering. I don't like you, OJ.
Yeah. Sir, hey, pat me on the back.
I'm not for double murder.

Speaker 1 Sir, sir, resign the isotoners, sir. Oh, breaking news.
OJ just tweeted again. Let's see.
Oh, so you not only follow him, but you have. No, no, it's not.
So you actually are the cottage industry.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's just flying. It just came across.
That was the most... No, it just came across my site.
This literally just happened. I saw Morty Mush reply to him.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't need any.

Speaker 1 OJ during NFL Sunday is going to suck.

Speaker 1 He sucks already. Here's a good joke about OJ.
Hey, OJ, why wasn't your first tweet slash, slash, slash, backslash, slash, backslash? Nice. You should tweet that.
I should. I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to retweets. I'm not.
I'm not. Listen, I'm not part of the cottage industry.
I'm not going to be trading in OJ retweets because then there's blood on my hands.

Speaker 1 There's blood on my fingers. There's going to be a lot of OJ tweets and OJ reply tweets.
And

Speaker 1 it's just going to fucking

Speaker 1 make something that's already kind of sucking even worse. My last who's back of the week is Pup Punk.
So we just announced a show we're playing out in Long Island.

Speaker 1 We're playing in Long Island.

Speaker 1 It will be in Long Island. Attention Long Island, I'm going to be on side you.
Yeah. And that is in late July.
We have to dig a hole. Mookay's.

Speaker 5 and then get in the hole and

Speaker 1 you know what? I might do that. I might do that.
Yeah, that's what I'm planning on doing, Hank. That's what you do when you go to Long Island.
So it's going to be on July 2020. Are you

Speaker 1 on the Milky Way galaxy?

Speaker 1 We're part of it. You're in it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you're inside of it.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah, we're part of it.

Speaker 1 Then you're also in Long Island. No.
Long Island is in the Milky Way galaxy.

Speaker 1 Counterpoint, are we in Earth or are we on Earth? We're in it. We're in this shit.
Yeah, we're in it. We're all in it together when it comes to to Long Island.
So, July 27th at Mokay's.

Speaker 1 Tickets on sale now. I think there are still a few available.
It's going to be a hell of a show.

Speaker 1 Hey, everyone, when you think about replying to OJ or telling us how you don't believe double murder is good, just debate in or on Long Island instead. That's way more useful.

Speaker 1 Anti-double murder podcast. Yes, there it is.
Now we don't have to talk about them anymore. All right, my who's back of the week is Aaron Rodgers being surly to his coaches.
So, what did it take?

Speaker 1 What's it been, like, five months? Five months that Matt Floor was less less than Matt Laforce way less than that. I'm going to just do Matt Floor by the way.

Speaker 1 I'm going to get a little bit shorter there. Matt Floor, who is injured, who's going around on a golf cart, poor guy.

Speaker 1 He's got Aaron Rodgers already saying that I don't think you want me to turn it off 11 years. Turn off 11 years.
He's talking about Reeds at the line of scrimmage. Audibles.

Speaker 1 He says there's stuff that not many people in the league can do at the line. That's not a humble brag.
That's just a fact.

Speaker 1 Well, that's not a humble brag because that's just a brag first of all there's not that's not what a humble brag is being like i'm awesome at football but he's not a humble brag yeah he said it's not a humble brag right he was right so yeah it's just a brag so spot the line it's just a brag you don't know what humble brag is uh but yeah this is going to be fun because uh aaron rodgers also seems to be or already seems to be not working with matt laflore trouble and per my matt floor matt floor matt de floor matt floor uh yeah no it's not a great start for aaron to to just go ahead and say this and training camp hasn't even started yet.

Speaker 1 But you know what? You got to plant your flag in the ground sometimes in these relationships. Maybe that's what happened.

Speaker 1 Listen, with Aaron Rodgers and McCarthy, he was too nice of a guy.

Speaker 1 And when you're too nice of a guy, you get walked over all the time. So now it's, guess what? Aaron's going to stand up for himself finally and say what he thinks about his coaches.

Speaker 1 I'm just so happy because

Speaker 1 the part of me that knows that Aaron Rodgers is going to see everything that happened, Aaron Rodgers, bad teammate. He's to blame for all this stuff that went down last year in Green Bay.

Speaker 1 I thought we were going to get like the ultimate fuck everyone in the NFL. I'm going to be MVP Aaron Rodgers and be like, I'm going to buy into whatever Matt Floor says.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be the best soldier, the best teammate, and just like rip to shreds all the NFL. Turns out he's probably just going to be a dick still.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, if your coach is in a golf cart on the sidelines, this almost seems like he's taking advantage of his coach, doesn't it? Yeah. The fact that he's hurt.

Speaker 1 He is just, he's on the IL, As they say in MLB. Yeah, not the DL.
No, the IL. No, and we'll put that out, or we could have a longer conversation.

Speaker 1 Every time I see IL, I just think someone has diarrhea. Just ill? Yeah.
Just something.

Speaker 1 Intestinal list. What's going on? They're on the intestinal list.
It's so weird that they did that, but whatever. Okay, so yeah, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Floor, not off to the best start.
And

Speaker 1 I'm not making like a mountain out of a mohill. I think Aaron Rodgers hates Matt Floor.
You think so? Despises him. I think Aaron Rodgers might have torn his Achilles.

Speaker 1 Do you think that Aaron Rodgers is

Speaker 1 prejudiced against people with disabilities?

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. And that's why he's going after Matt Floor right now.
And Mike McCarthy. And for clinically fat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the BMI, I'm also.

Speaker 1 I'm also obese. So I can say that.
His face got too red. Uh-huh.
His eyes were too close together. Yes.

Speaker 1 He yells at high school basketball games. Can't control his temper.
Yeah, he had too much steam that would come out of his mouth when he would scream. Okay, let's get to our interviews.

Speaker 1 First up, we're going to have Joe Buck. It looked like he was always wearing a smock.
Like the jackets that he would wear would just go like straight down

Speaker 1 from his belly down to his knees. Yeah, it's the Detroit big cat look.

Speaker 1 So we're going to do Joe Buck first. Joe Buck was nice enough to call in, basically walking off the course at Pebble Beach.
So he's a busy man.

Speaker 1 He was working all weekend, and he calls in to talk to us two idiots.

Speaker 1 It sounds fine. There's a little bit of a glitch here and there.
That's how you always want to start up. up.
Hey, listen, it sounds fine. It's going to sound fine.
It does. It does.
All business fine.

Speaker 1 He's a fuck. That's all I'm going to say.
He was on vacation all week, and we still are in a studio with the sound. We can hear every ambulance.
There are no windows. Phones don't work.

Speaker 1 We're basically in a tent. Yeah, so if you have any fine anger.

Speaker 1 I saw a pig swimming by down 7th Avenue earlier. If you have any anger to Joe Buck's perfectly sounding

Speaker 1 appearance on the show, tweet it all business Pete. Let him know how fine it is.
Yeah, that's it's totally fine. Okay, here he is.
Joebuck. We'll put in the Trojan ad.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on the man you listened to all weekend. It is Joe Buck.
Calling us from Pebble Beach.

Speaker 1 He is the nicest man in the world because he called us like five minutes after the tournament ended. So let's start with Gary Woodland.

Speaker 1 Do you, I have a theory that whatever the best story possible on Father's Day to happen will happen, and that's why Gary Woodland won.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's kind of funny the way that whole thing worked out. You know, when you consider that he's a guy that

Speaker 9 has been through what he's been through personally, you know, his wife Gabby

Speaker 9 going through a miscarriage and them having a son, Jackson, who's was born premature, but it's doing great and has come out on tour and been on the 18th green when he's won.

Speaker 9 And now she's pregnant again with twin girls.

Speaker 9 It's a great story. I can only tell you, and I'm not one for name-dropping at least

Speaker 9 six days of the week, usually five, four or five days of the week I name drop.

Speaker 9 But I had so many texts from guys that I know from baseball, a couple guys that I know from football that know Gary Woodland and were rooting so hard for the guy. He's just a really, really good guy.

Speaker 9 Kepka was great, obviously, but Woodland just played the best of anybody in the week and he won. So good for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was a good story to watch. Did you get the sense that the fans were also pulling for him, or were they more aligned with Kepka going on the stretch?

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, I felt like I think the fans here, you know, it was not easy. I'm still here, obviously, a tubble, and it's not easy getting down here into the area where the actual tournament took place.

Speaker 9 I mean, the security is off the charts. It's like literally doing Super Bowl security every day.
And if you bothered to come in here, I think you were a real golf fan. And

Speaker 9 the galleries were massive. And there was a real groundswell, I think, for a guy who hadn't won.
He's 35. And as we said, it's a great story.

Speaker 9 It would have been cool to see Brooks kept gay if it wasn't Gary. But as Brooks said afterward,

Speaker 9 Gary played the best, and nobody was going to beat him today. And that's what these major championships are all about.
It was fun to see it.

Speaker 1 So we're huge fans of the course in the U.S. Open.
We love when the Course kicks the shit out of people and like Ian Poulter cries about and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 Were you as disappointed in the Course as we were this week?

Speaker 9 No, I see shitty golf plenty in my life. And friends of mine hacking it around.

Speaker 9 No, I like seeing these guys play well. And I realize I'm in the minority.

Speaker 9 A lot of my friends are like, oh, I love seeing these guys, you know, free-putting and the greens are lightning and they can't hold greens and the rough is high and the fairways are skinny.

Speaker 9 And I don't know. I just like seeing the best play great.
And

Speaker 9 I thought it was a fair test. I don't think it has to be ridiculous to have the feeling that you just saw a hell of a test in a U.S.
Open.

Speaker 9 It got progressively harder every day, but there was just nothing they could do short of building a dome over this place.

Speaker 9 They had a record setting May for rainfall. The place was

Speaker 9 crazy lush. The fairways were holding.
The greens were receptive. And there was no wind.
And if there's no wind at Pebble Beach at a 7,100-yard golf course, they're going to eat it alive.

Speaker 9 And for the most part, these guys ate it alive.

Speaker 1 But if you look back to Tiger Woods' victory back in, was it 2007 or 2000, right? At Pebble Beach? 2000, yeah. Is it fair to say that the course has regressed?

Speaker 9 No, I think the conditions regressed, and there's just nothing that you can control.

Speaker 9 At this time of year, and we ran pieces from 72 when Nicholas won, and you know, it almost looked like a British Open when Tom Watson chipped in in 82.

Speaker 9 And then when you go to the highlights of 2000, you know, as Aithnier likes to say, the greens looked like potato chips.

Speaker 9 They were not green. They were multicolored.
They were hard. The place was just baked out.

Speaker 9 And for us to be here in the middle of June and to have it just be green everywhere, I don't think anybody expected that, but there was just no way to avoid it. So

Speaker 9 if that's the case, you've got small greens. The USGA is tired of hearing about, you know, guys complain about the setup.
There was no course setup complaints.

Speaker 9 Everybody was praising praising how great the place was condition-wise. For us, let me tell you, it was like a dream to not have to deal with controversy and wrong girlfriends' names

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 9 everything else that's gone on with these championships.

Speaker 9 I love covering these things, but every year it's just like something. And this year, it was just really good golf.

Speaker 1 You invited Jim Nance onto the set. That was a wild move by you.
That would be like us inviting Joe Rogan to come host the podcast with us. Are you a little nervous? It's like

Speaker 1 he's just going to slide over and be like, Joe, go grab a beer or something because I got this.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I was actually going to joke, like, hey,

Speaker 9 I'm just going to go grab a coffee and sit over on the side. I'd rather listen to him do golf than listen to myself do golf.

Speaker 9 But,

Speaker 9 you know, that being.

Speaker 9 Said

Speaker 9 for him to accept, I thought was cool for CBS to let him come on. And that was kind of the condition that the condition was that it was going to be 10 minutes, and that's it.

Speaker 9 Really, they wanted five minutes. And

Speaker 9 had that stipulation not been there, I would have demanded that he stay and call golf with Asinger. And I'd jump in every once in a while.
I'll read a promo here or there.

Speaker 9 But for the most part, I'd rather just hear him call the U.S. Open.
I think he's the best. I said it on the air.
I believe it.

Speaker 9 Those other guys are good friends of mine, Hicks and Terico and what have you, but I think he's the best to ever ever call golf on TV in my lifetime, and or at least in my adulthood.

Speaker 9 And I wanted to hear him do golf at Pebble Beach. Of course, he knows probably better than any broadcaster ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's got that great golf voice that just puts you to sleep. He has, I think, the best nap voice in America out of any announcer.

Speaker 9 Absolutely.

Speaker 9 If his voice was on my alarm clock, I'd never get up because he just has that soothing,

Speaker 9 and he's very smart and he remembers everything and he knows the history of the game and he's not searching for stuff and I find myself a lot of the times gripping and searching for different things and and it's just top of mind for him.

Speaker 9 He's great with names. I'm obviously not

Speaker 9 Jenna Sims jokes aside. I'm always

Speaker 9 scrambling for somebody's name and it's just it's like you know, second nature for him. And so that really serves him, I think personally, better in golf than any other sport.

Speaker 9 When you can have that kind of top-of-mind recall, that's what makes him great. And he's a wordsmith, so good for him.
I love listening to him.

Speaker 9 I'd rather fall asleep to him calling golf while I lay on the couch than anybody else.

Speaker 1 All right, Joe, I know you got to go, and I appreciate you calling in. I was going to

Speaker 1 tell you all the tweets that said Joe Buck sucks, but I'm not going to do that because I just Twitter searched it, and it was way too many. So I'm not going to do that.
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 9 It's just that never gets fucking old.

Speaker 1 I also, I also, Joe, we're running out of time.

Speaker 9 Let me tell you, the Twitter geniuses just do nothing but

Speaker 9 do nothing but inspire. And all those guys that are saying that, I would love to see them step in and do 10 minutes.

Speaker 1 Put a jersey. Put a jersey.
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 Joe, I also like, listen, I know you said you only had 10 minutes and like, it's unbelievable that you called in right after, literally right after it ended.

Speaker 1 So we're going to let you go. I really wanted to congratulate you and talk about the St.

Speaker 4 Louis Blues, but we don't have enough time.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 appreciate you calling in. It's too bad I can't congratulate you.
That's okay.

Speaker 9 My blues. My blues won.
I'm not John Hamm.

Speaker 9 Sadly, I'm not in the NBC promos, but I've been a season ticket holder my whole life and, well, my adult life, and that was one of the biggest thrills I've ever had as a fan.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 too bad we can't discuss it. It's too bad we can't talk about it.

Speaker 9 Yeah, no, well, too bad. I'm going to keep going.
You just cut me off. So, Bennington came up, and that's where the season really turned.

Speaker 1 This guy says, obligatory Joe Buck sucks tweet.

Speaker 1 This guy actually tagged your boss, Fox Sports, at Fox Sports1, at golf on Fox. Joe Buck sucks.
I like this guy. He said, Joe Buck is trending, but I just want everyone to know it's because he sucks.

Speaker 9 Oh, man, that was so good.

Speaker 1 That guy was awesome. Joe Buck sucks at his job.
He is such a homer. I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than this.

Speaker 1 Who are you a homer for? Can you be a homer for a golfer? The golf course. All right, Joe.
Thank you so much. We really do appreciate it.
Very nice of you to let us grab you for 10 minutes. Have fun.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, see you soon. It's been too long.

Speaker 9 It has been, yeah.

Speaker 9 And I had many people, I swear to you, I walked from my room down to the booth all week long, and I had usually at least one a day. Hey, I I love you and pardon my take.

Speaker 1 There we go. So here we are doing it again.
That's how we peer pressure you into continuing to come back on the show. Yeah.
There's some people who like you out there.

Speaker 9 You sent those people out. It works.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 They're plants. They're plants.
All right, Joe. We'll talk to you soon, man.

Speaker 1 All right, guys. See ya.

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Speaker 1 All right, here she is, Layla Ali. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on the legend, undefeated boxer, champion, uh, Layla Ali. She's all over the place, and she's doing this great thing with undeniably dairy.
Let's talk about that first.

Speaker 1 Feeding America. So I was reading up about it.

Speaker 1 It's a fantastic program because it's it's basically kids who aren't able to get three square meals a day, especially in the summertime when they're not at school.

Speaker 1 You're helping that out and you're making sure that kids, you know, growing kids get the meals that they need.

Speaker 6 Well, one in six kids in the U.S. faces hunger.
Okay. And in the summer months, those numbers rise because kids don't have access to nutritious school lunches.

Speaker 6 So these are kids that go to school and get their best meal at school. Obviously, no school, no great meal.

Speaker 6 So Feeding America does amazing work in general, just helping families who need to get fed get fed. So, we're asking people to go to

Speaker 6 giveagallon.com

Speaker 6 so that we can raise more money for the food banks that are, you know, making sure that kids and families get healthy meals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like it. That's fantastic.
You can probably tell by looking at us, we don't miss many meals, no problems.

Speaker 1 But it's important that we help the people that do. So, yeah, what was that web address again? Give a gallon.

Speaker 6 Give agallon.com. I've been working with Feeding America for over 10 years, and I'm very passionate about health and wellness, and then, of course, ending childhood hunger.

Speaker 1 so I've just been really happy to partner with them and undeniably dairy to make sure the kids get nutritious meals including milk before before we got started here before the cameras were rolling you kind of you warned us ahead of time you're like hey I might punch you in the face actually let's back up you warned me that you guys are silly well no you might say some things that might cause you to get punched in the face and I said sure I'll punch you in the face I got a waiver for you I said please do I know we didn't sign those waivers yet though to be knocked out by an Ali

Speaker 1 definitely

Speaker 1 I said we're a couple assholes and then you said well that's fine I can handle my my business.

Speaker 1 Exactly, exactly. That's how I went.
But you also said that it takes a lot to set you off. It does.
So what buttons should we not press or press depending on the business? You know what?

Speaker 6 I think that as long as people don't disrespect me, I'm okay. But in the end of the day, I'm not going to punch anybody.
I'm a professional fighter.

Speaker 6 It's like I only fight professionals.

Speaker 1 I'm not a bad guy. Hands are weapons.
They are. So, yeah.
Do you have to register your hands? I did not. Okay.
Is that a real thing that happens or is that just my favorite? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I really don't know, to be honest with you. You know what? I'm going to register my hands and just see if they tell me I can.

Speaker 6 I know that my insurance costs more.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah, definitely. So do you, you haven't boxed, you're retired.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're retired. So do you miss it at all? Of course.

Speaker 6 I absolutely love it. I think any athlete that did something they loved and, you know, at a certain point, you stop.
You can't do it forever. You miss it.

Speaker 6 But, you know, I also love what I'm doing now.

Speaker 6 Okay. But I'll always be an athlete.
I still have a bag. I still stay in shape.
I can still go three, four rounds.

Speaker 1 Always, at any time. You should fight in rough and rowdy.
We have a fighting league ourselves.

Speaker 1 It's three one-minute rounds. Really? Yeah.
Do you fight in that? No. Oh, okay.
But you want me to get the international anthem. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, but so I wanted to ask you a question about women in sports and like you, your boxing career was, I feel like, very early on for women, especially in combat sports.

Speaker 1 And is it crazy to watch now how far that's coming? I mean, some of these like MMA

Speaker 1 UFC cards, the headliners are women. And it's like, you know, when you started, I think there was a lot of people that were uneasy with two women fighting in a boxing ring.

Speaker 6 A A lot of people think that I was one of the first female fighters in boxing, and I wasn't. There were so many before me.
It just didn't get the exposure that the sport has now.

Speaker 6 And it has come a long way, especially with the UFC. I mean, as a whole, the UFC and MMA has grown.
It wasn't as big when I was boxing.

Speaker 6 But there are more professional female fighters.

Speaker 6 And I think that women have always been very exciting to watch. I know in women's boxing, we have two-minute rounds opposed to three, and you don't have as much time to get the job done.

Speaker 6 So women come in there and just make it happen.

Speaker 6 So people would really appreciate that and in the UFC I see the women are really feisty and strong as well so I think that it doesn't surprise me when I see women because I know what we're capable of but I'm glad that it's been more accepted and women are having more opportunities right and when you were first getting started you got started a little bit late at least according to what I read like about 17 18 that's late for a boxer some some started eight nine twelve yeah so you were a little late in life entering the ring for the first time.

Speaker 1 What was it?

Speaker 1 I know a lot of fighters, they start fighting, they have a chip on their shoulder, they have like aggression, that sort of thing. But you were late kind of getting into the ring for the first time.

Speaker 1 What was the chip on your shoulder that made you want to get into the ring and fight for the first time?

Speaker 6 I saw women's boxing for the first time on television when I was 17 years old. I saw Christy Martin.
Are you familiar with her? No. No, okay.

Speaker 6 So Christy Martin was one of the first female fighters to get promoted on a major undercard. She was on Mike Tyson's undercard.
Don King was promoting.

Speaker 6 So I saw women's boxing for the first time along with many other people. I did not know the women boxed.
I didn't know there was... a sport available to me.

Speaker 6 So as soon as I saw it, I wanted to do it automatically. And it took me about a year of contemplation because at the time I was, I had my own nail salon.

Speaker 6 I've always been very ambitious, always been an entrepreneur. I had a nail salon by the time I was 18 and I was in college and I was living on my own and I saw women's boxing.

Speaker 6 I was like, I want to do that. But then, of course, you know, the fear and the doubts set in of just kind of living a public life and just what's my dad going to think? Was everyone think?

Speaker 6 Can I do this? I was never even an athlete. I never participated in sports.
Really? I was about 30 pounds overweight. And it took me a year.

Speaker 6 And I finally said, you know what, I'm just going to go with my heart and just do it. And that's when I started.

Speaker 1 What did your dad say when you said, I'm going to be a a boxer, too?

Speaker 6 So I started training kind of in secrecy because I really wanted to see if I had what it took.

Speaker 6 Because if it wasn't going to come natural to me, if I wasn't going to be good at it, I wasn't going to do it. Smart.
So I understood

Speaker 6 what I was getting into. So once, six months into it, it got around to my dad.
He comes in town and he's like, you know, I hear you're boxing. And I'm like, yeah, I am, dad.

Speaker 6 And he basically tried to talk me out of it. And directly he says, you know, well, what are you going to do? I mean, the whole world's going to be watching you and judging you.

Speaker 6 What if you get in the ring and you get knocked down?

Speaker 6 And I was like, well, I'm going to get back up just like you did and then he just got more and more frustrated and was just like what are you gonna do if you get knocked out and i was like well that's just not gonna happen but right if it does i'm gonna ask for a rematch and then he just basically said don't do it it's not for women it's not for you it's too hard it's a man's sport and i said well dad you know what I understand how you feel, I respect how you feel, but I've already made my decision.

Speaker 1 So two questions about that. One is, do you think there was a part of him that didn't want you to do it because of his name and his legacy?

Speaker 6 And it's like, if you go out and get bought, you know, get knocked down, it looks bad on his name do you think there was any of that i think well i don't have to think i know now that because i mean obviously i'm grown we've had conversations about it and i see things differently but my father was and first of all did not believe that women should be boxing right my father's muslim i'm not he's was a little bit of a male chauvinist in a way just the fact of wearing a sports bra and shorts in the ring it's like you're gonna get in the ring and be bouncing around the ring one two women don't need to be doing it.

Speaker 6 Three, I'm his youngest baby girl. Right.
Out of all his kids, he didn't want me to get hurt.

Speaker 6 And think of all the blood, sweat, and tears he went through through his career, all of the history of why people love him and, you know, giving up his belts, all that.

Speaker 6 And now I'm saying I want to go to a dirty, grimy gym and go fight and spar with men.

Speaker 1 I didn't want that.

Speaker 6 And of course, he did not want to get embarrassed.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 Also, yes, that had something to do with it. So he, but he came back.
Yeah. Let me just tell you this.
After I won my titles, I was doing well. And he came back and he apologized that I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 I was wrong. You can fight.

Speaker 1 Women can't fight.

Speaker 6 And I love you. Then he started trying to teach me how to jab.
And I was like, you're a little late.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. I got my belts already.
I need to jab. He wanted to take credit for that after the fact.
He's like, See, I'm not sure.

Speaker 6 Well, now he's like, You're like that boy I never had, like, boxing.

Speaker 1 You mentioned something there where you're you said you're you're not Muslim, and he was.

Speaker 1 You basically stood up to him when you were a kid saying you didn't want to be religious.

Speaker 6 How'd you know that?

Speaker 1 I read about it. Oh, you did.
It's homework. But this is now like, so twice the boxing and then the religion, where you stood up to Muhammad Ali.
And correct me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 I think your dad probably is a pretty sure-headed guy who knew exactly what he wanted and wasn't going to be told what to do if you look at any of his history.

Speaker 1 So how did you change his mind twice, not once, but twice, on pretty big things, boxing and religion, two things that are the most important to him?

Speaker 6 I got something special that came from my daddy. Yeah.
So the thing is, is that I'm just a lot like him. So he had to respect it, and he does respect me.

Speaker 6 And my dad and I had probably three big conversations in life, and one of them was not being Muslim.

Speaker 6 I remember when I turned 18 and moved out of the house and moved in with my boyfriend, he tried to judge me for that. And I said, hold up, wait a minute.
We can talk about some things you've done.

Speaker 6 And he says, you're right. You know, I put him, I had to put him in this place then.
And then with boxing, you know, when he told me it's something I couldn't do.

Speaker 6 And I just, I do a lot of speaking now. And that's one of the things I speak about.
Muhammad Ali telling me not to do something. It's not for you.

Speaker 6 If I would have listened to him, you know what I mean? I would have never went and did what I wanted to do. And then he came back and got his mind right and was like, I was wrong.

Speaker 6 So that's why I can't listen to others. Just because he wasn't where he needed to be in his mind, it didn't stop me from doing what I needed to do.

Speaker 6 And my father and I have always had a tremendous amount of respect for one another. But yeah, I'm just like him.

Speaker 6 That's why I never just said originally, don't do it, because he was like tried to talk me out of it indirectly.

Speaker 1 So the toughest match he ever had was you.

Speaker 6 Well, I wouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 I'm definitely not.

Speaker 6 I'll tell you what. I know I'm getting payback on my daughter, Sydney, because she's doing me the exact same way right now.

Speaker 1 That girl got me on the ropes every day. So my next question is going to be, what if she wants to fight?

Speaker 6 I would not like my daughter to fight.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's going to happen then. Yeah,

Speaker 6 I would not like my, neither, but I know I will never tell my kids not to.

Speaker 6 I am not encouraging them to, but at the same time, I will support them whatever they want to do, you know, in life because you have to.

Speaker 1 They're going to want to do it anyway.

Speaker 1 So after you start boxing, you go through a few fights. You do pretty well to get started.

Speaker 1 Was there ever a point where you were like a little doubtful about whether or not this was going to be your career after a couple fights or were you like, you know what, this is what I was meant to do?

Speaker 6 I was always a fighter. I just wasn't fighting professionally.
So I knew that I had it in me. I knew I had the heart of a fighter.

Speaker 6 It's just that, you know, the skill and everything that it takes, because I was never an athlete.

Speaker 6 I never had to do that training regimen so once I that's what I'm a very realistic person I know first you have to want to do something then you have to see if you can be good at it and if you're going to really want to do the work that it takes everybody wants once once but are you going to do the work that it's going to take so I went to the gym and like I said I was training for about six months and I fell in love with it as I was going to school I was going to work in the gym at nine o'clock at night and I looked forward to it so I knew right away that is what I wanted to do Yeah, the first time you get punched in the face.

Speaker 1 That's how you know. Did it feel good?

Speaker 6 That's how you know. I've seen so many people come into the the gym saying they want to be a fighter, and they're like, okay, glove it up.

Speaker 6 And you're either going to turn your back, like, I want to get out of here, or you're going to get mad and want to knock the heck out of somebody. And I was that person that wanted to get mad.

Speaker 6 But I get, I had been hit before, I told you, I was a fighter outside of the ring.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was it like growing up with your dad?

Speaker 1 I mean, your dad was obviously, he's the goat, and he's probably the biggest legend in all of sports, which is incredible to say, but it probably is the truth. Probably.

Speaker 1 I mean, he, I know, you're a bus guy.

Speaker 1 But no, he is. It's incredible to even declare one person that way.
And the fact that you're like, yeah, actually, it's probably even to be in the running. Maybe that's insane.
That's the thing.

Speaker 1 So, like, was it, I mean, it had to be a little bit of a mind fuck to grow up with. Oh, we get to cuss? Oh, it's on now.
I'm just playing. I'm just playing.
Yeah, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're doing it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 I am here representing other people.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be on my behavior. We're going to feed some fucking kids.
Yeah, yeah. But that's got to be a mind fuck to grow up in a house with, you know, a living legend.

Speaker 6 It's the only life I know.

Speaker 6 but i will tell you that um you know we had michael jackson and prince and stevie wonder coming to the house all fans of muhammad ali and my father was such an amazing example of someone that just was like at the top but such a kind giving compassionate person he never treat looked down on anybody he was never tacky you know he never flaunted his money in anyone's face he was just a he just had a lot of character and class and that's one thing that I respect in people and you know, it didn't matter who he was around, he was always the same guy.

Speaker 6 And that's just what I strive to be. So that's how I remember my father, you know, and that's what gives me the pride in knowing like there's just never going to be another Muhammad Ali.

Speaker 6 I don't care how good you get in the ring or in whatever sport it is that you do.

Speaker 1 This is kind of a weird question, but the Louisville Airport's named after him. It's amazing.
Doesn't that kind of suck, though? Because like, I always thought when you get an airport suck to go to.

Speaker 1 Like, doesn't that suck to be named after an airport?

Speaker 6 The airport named after you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, like you have to go to an airport. It's like, oh, I got to travel.
I got to go through TSV. No, I don't think so.
And then you're motherfucking the airport. I don't agree with you.

Speaker 1 I don't know who LaGuardia is. I don't know who LaGuardia is, but I hate him.
I hate his gun.

Speaker 1 I hate traveling there. It's always like traffic to get out there.
I'm not thinking it's too deep into it. There's a big line.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, like, 50 years from now, people won't, you know, they're like, Muhammad Ali, oh, that's the airport. They should name like a water park after him.
Yeah. A water park here.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show you how to do it. So there's a whole lot more to come.
Yeah, okay, I see. I can't, but you know what?

Speaker 6 I couldn't waste my energy worried about that kind of thing. I would.
But I'll tell you one thing. I had nothing to do with that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I would literally waste all my energy worrying about that. Name something better after that.
I see. I see.
Yeah. It always bothered me.
Every time I go to the airport, I'm like, like, JFK.

Speaker 1 JFK is so annoying to go through.

Speaker 6 Have you been that way since you were a kid?

Speaker 1 What, thinking about airports? Just like obsessing about

Speaker 1 things. It's like letting things like, you know.
Yeah, little things.

Speaker 1 We kind of made a career out of letting small things bother us to the point that we get mad at them. Yeah, we make mountains of bad things.

Speaker 6 I don't worry about things I have no control over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's

Speaker 1 control over this. I don't, nothing.
You can be like, my dad hated airports, but he did.

Speaker 6 But it doesn't bother me.

Speaker 1 But I'm saying we're talking about this way too long. Listen, my dad was, he hated TSA.
He thought it was absolute bullshit that he had to pay $6 for a bottle of water when he went to the airport.

Speaker 1 He doesn't want to be named after an airport.

Speaker 6 Oh, Lord.

Speaker 1 Lord Jesus. I'm just

Speaker 1 making a lot of sense here. Yeah, making a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 I heard a story that you saved Hulk Hogan's life. Is that true? That is true.
You know, because the reason why I know it's true. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Are you a partial owner of Gawker Media?

Speaker 6 I am not, you know, and I feel like I need to, I deserve something, a check or something.

Speaker 1 I'm just playing.

Speaker 6 No, you know, I found out the same way everyone else found out. He said something in an interview.
He never had called me and told me because we hosted American Gladiators together.

Speaker 6 And then he told this story. And then people called me and was like, I heard you.
Can you come on and talk about how you say it? I was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 6 And I was like, wow, I wish he would have called me and told me that. But apparently he was going through something and something big.
And I called him and had a conversation.

Speaker 6 Something I said to him, you know, it was divine intervention.

Speaker 1 So it was a circumstance if you just happened to call him at a time when he was going through something bad?

Speaker 6 I happened to call him and I said some words that helped him. I invited him to, I think, my church at the time, and he started going there, and it was what he needed at the time.

Speaker 6 So like I said, I don't feel like I can take credit for it, but that's how he felt about it. And I just feel like it was divine intervention.

Speaker 6 It wasn't like I was just like, hey, man, what time are you going to be at work tomorrow? We must have had some sort of a conversation that made him change his mind. So he says.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a lesson for everybody. No matter what interaction you're having, you might be saving somebody's life.
I don't know what you're going through. Several lives today.
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to take credit for that. I just saved your life.
I don't think so. Just by saved your life right now.

Speaker 1 It's just been like, hey, there's so many hokea maniacs out there that are rooting for you.

Speaker 6 Eating vitamins. I can't keep up with you guys right now.

Speaker 1 So here's the thing.

Speaker 6 I can't keep up with that. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I got nothing for you.

Speaker 6 I'm not even going to try to have a comeback.

Speaker 1 You might either. You might have been starting to get sick and now you're laughing and we just cured it.
Wait, I might have.

Speaker 6 If I didn't come here, I could have crossed the street going somewhere else and got hit by a car.

Speaker 1 I mean, hold on. Saved your life.
Hold on. Do you see what just happened? We saved your life.
No. We just beat the woman that beat Muhammad Ali.
We're the champ.

Speaker 1 If you want to see it that way, we are the champ. If you see

Speaker 1 the champ,

Speaker 1 if that was your goal to make me say something like that,

Speaker 1 your father mentally couldn't handle you. You mentally can't handle us.
We are the champ. I got to let some people win at some things because I'm winning at everything else.

Speaker 1 Everything. So, what's next for you? Like, what's the next part of your career?

Speaker 6 Well, I released a cookbook.

Speaker 1 Focus for life.

Speaker 6 I've been cooking since I was nine years old. So, my cookbook came out in 2018.

Speaker 6 I just, a couple days ago, released my organic spice blends which i'm super excited about people can go to shop.leilali.com to check them out i have a nutrition line so i'm really into encouraging people to be the best they can absolutely be and make healthy lifestyle choices through the food that they eat because that's why i'm working with feeding america and you know undeniably dairy i truly believe that we can change the world through the food that we eat because we're it's it's food is killing a lot of people too in terms of heart disease and obesity and diabetes and chronic illness so you know i try to teach people that they can take control of their health.

Speaker 1 I like the way you're going at it, too, because a lot of times healthy food just doesn't taste very good, but you've got a spice line.

Speaker 1 So you're like, hey, you can eat all this stuff that tastes bad if you dump enough of my good tasting product.

Speaker 6 If you want to see it that way, because I know you see things a special kind of way, guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I like it.

Speaker 1 It makes shit.

Speaker 6 taste good. It can do that.
It's that good that it can make shit taste good.

Speaker 1 What if

Speaker 1 you invite us over for dinner, which I assume you will at some point,

Speaker 1 what's the number one Leila Lee meal that you like to cook?

Speaker 6 Well, you always have to know who you're having over for dinner.

Speaker 1 I like to do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, you do?

Speaker 6 Okay, no, but I'm just saying what they like.

Speaker 6 Because, you know, you do? Okay, so what would I make for you if I knew you liked everything? I probably would make my oven-fried chicken wings.

Speaker 1 Those are a killer.

Speaker 6 And then I have different dipping sauces. Yep.
I like to make fresh salads, but I have fresh salad dressing.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, hold up. You got to have some cream because I am who I have.
I have a chicken salad. I am who I have.
If you said anything, that's okay, but I'm going to put some on your plate. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, and you're going to be a nice guest and take a couple bites.

Speaker 6 You're going to be like, that's the best salad I ever had in the world.

Speaker 1 So, what do you like?

Speaker 6 What do you like? You like pasta?

Speaker 1 No, the wings. We're soaking.
The wings? The wings? Oh, and the dipping sauces? Okay, yeah.

Speaker 6 So I'm going to make you some french fries, but I'm going to oven bake them. Perfect.
And they're going to taste like the crispy. Perfect.
So I'm going to make you the foods that you like.

Speaker 1 But just a little healthier.

Speaker 6 A healthier way, but you're not going to even know it's healthy.

Speaker 1 So what time's dinner?

Speaker 6 You know, I live in L.A.

Speaker 1 We'll be there. So next time you're in L.A.
Okay. Okay.
Open time. Okay.
So we'll

Speaker 1 connect.

Speaker 6 Are you going to get my spices?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll buy your spices. Okay, if you don't cook, does your wife and your girlfriend cook? I don't cook.
I don't. You order out? We live in New York.
Okay, well, every single meal.

Speaker 6 That's the wonderful thing about spices because you can just sprinkle it on no matter what it is you eat. Even if you don't cook,

Speaker 6 my seasoning salt is the bomb.

Speaker 1 I cook, I have a very Caucasian cooking method. I just boil chicken and

Speaker 1 flavor. I don't season it.
You really need some flavor. You didn't even have to say that.
I already knew. As soon as you said Caucasian cooking method, I know where you're going with it.

Speaker 1 You need flavors. With mayonnaise.
But mayo. Oh, yeah.
Biggest mayo.

Speaker 6 You need my seasoning. You need my soul seasoning.

Speaker 1 I like to do a little fruit roll-up where I just take the chicken and I roll it in mayonnaise.

Speaker 1 Disgusting. You're joking.

Speaker 1 No, it's like a ho-ho, except it's just

Speaker 1 white meat, eggs, and vinegar. Oh, bro.
So good.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thank you for your time.
I appreciate you having me on. It's been fun.

Speaker 6 And you guys did not offend me. Okay.
So nobody's getting knocked out. So that's the good news because you got so many listeners.
I want to make sure they can continue listening to you.

Speaker 6 Feeding America.

Speaker 1 Check it out.

Speaker 1 Yes. It's actually, it's a great, great cause.
Bunch of kids that were helping out. What was the URL again? Let's shout it out one more time.

Speaker 6 GiveAgallon.com.

Speaker 1 GiveAgallon.com. We had a phase where we just chugged milk.
We could do something like that and maybe have people donate. Yeah.
Okay. Oh, bring back the milk boys.
Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we just drank milk and did activities. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It wasn't a great idea. It wasn't very deep.
It wasn't a deep thought-out concept. Turns out people like to watch us throw up.

Speaker 6 Oh, maybe we don't have to do milk because, you know, when you're saying dairy, we're talking about yogurt.

Speaker 1 We're talking about cheese, chugging ice cream.

Speaker 6 We're talking about potassium. Yeah, milk,

Speaker 1 protein, all those things you need. Custard.
What's the difference between custard and ice cream?

Speaker 6 God, custard is made, custard is much heavier.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I like.

Speaker 1 I'm a big custard fan. Yeah, the heavy stuff.
All right. The diesel.
I like the diesel. I like ice cream diesel.
All right, Lila Lee, thank you so much. We appreciate your time.

Speaker 6 Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
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Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10 off smoothies and six percent uber credits back on rides just to be clear i'm there for savings not whatever you think college is for get uber one for students a membership to save on uber and uber eats with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just $4.99 a month savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply okay let's get to some segments and first up Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 1 Let's go. The best time of year.
So if you are a new listener, every summer, as soon as the NBA season ends, we start Mount Rushmore season. What is Mount Rushmore season?

Speaker 1 Well, every radio show in all of America, they run out of things to talk about in the summer. So, they do Mount Rushmore season and they'll be like, oh, well, you know,

Speaker 1 who's on the Mount Rushmore or Cincinnati Athletes and whatever the fuck it may be. I want to stress that this is totally different from power ranking, your top fours.

Speaker 1 It's totally different from doing a fantasy draft of your top four things. Correct.
This is Mount Rushmore. This is what would appear on a Mount Rushmore of each specific topic.

Speaker 1 And so when we first started it back in 2016, we did it as a joke. I think our first Mount Rushmore is Mount Rushmore of seasons.
It's only four of them. Get the joke.

Speaker 1 But then we started doing it, and we turned out that we just parodied ourselves into just being the sports radio people.

Speaker 1 So we do it every summer and we take it very seriously. But before we start, I want to say, guys, I think think we, the last couple seasons, we've let it get away from us.

Speaker 1 I think we need to just have like a mini gentleman's agreement that this is, like, let's pretend maybe a little less tackle football, a little more croquet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hand up, I let it get personal at times. I think you let it get personal at times.
Oh, I won. Hank, let it get personal.
Hank won. No, you won, Hank, and I won.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we're not, you know what I say? This year, let's not do polls. Let's not do votes for who won.
Boom. I think we have to do polls.

Speaker 1 Because then you pander. It leads to pandering Hank, who just panders towards.
But now you just got personal. No, I'm just saying.
I'm trying to

Speaker 1 giving good answers, pandering. You know exactly what panders.
You just got personal. No, I literally do not.

Speaker 1 We're personal. Pandering Hank Fox.
It seems like someone just couldn't handle losing.

Speaker 1 I guess it's losing. All his SpongeBob references.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. We'll figure it out.
Let's just be nice. Let's just be nice.

Speaker 5 Me and my SpongeBob.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's start.
Hank, why don't you start? Let's all get, we should just get trophies for each other. Yeah, okay, well, good job.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, Hank, why don't you start? Three times.

Speaker 1 PFT, EVC. You want to go second? I'll go third.
It's just dad moves. So on our Father's Day, it is dad moves.

Speaker 1 We'll go snake draft style. Yeah, snake draft style.

Speaker 5 Dad moves. Mowing the lawn.

Speaker 1 There you go. That's a great.
Great answer. I love it, Hank.
PFT, you guys. Hank, that was a really good first one.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I would say cleaning up the house 30 minutes before your mom gets back after she's been out of town for a few days. That's a good dad move.
Loading up that dishwasher, running the vacuum across

Speaker 1 one spot in the living room, making up her bed, that whole thing. Like, yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 Maybe grabbing the chips and sealing them, but not sealing them with a clip, just rolling them up real quick.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, throwing away all the half eating bags of chips and acting like you didn't just eat chips the entire time your wife was gone. That's a big-time dad move.

Speaker 4 All right, I got two.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 always messing with the thermostat or getting mad at people who do mess with the thermostat. Every dad

Speaker 1 knows exactly what temperature he wants it at all times. If it's the winter, he's not going to let the heat run the whole time.
He's like, hey, put on a sweatshirt.

Speaker 1 Well, especially if you have like a wood-burning stove or a fireplace. He's like, hey, he's throwing money away if you turn up the heat.
Tough shit. And if it's the summer, hey,

Speaker 1 if you want to get cool, go to the pool. Like that kind of thing.
Like go down the street, go to the community pool, but we're not going to run the AC all day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen, son, you can just open up the windows on both sides. You get a great crossbreeze through the house.
Yeah, it's the same thing as having an AC on.

Speaker 1 It has to be like 97 degrees and 100% humidity for the dad to be like, you know what? We'll turn on the AC.

Speaker 5 I didn't even have AC in my house. I just bought

Speaker 5 industrial-size fans.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had the warehouse. I had the window units.
Yeah. My dad's a big crossbreeze guy.
Crossbreeze is better than the AC. Hey, it's 88.
Nope, it's fine if you just get the wind blowing.

Speaker 5 Just

Speaker 5 turn the fan on and sit directly in front of it.

Speaker 1 Go into the basement.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where it's like wet and moldy. Lay down on the basement floor next to the dog that's panting.

Speaker 1 Okay, my other one is naps. Dads know how to nap anywhere, anytime.
I feel like a dad, like the minute he sits on a couch, on a chair, I'm not even talking about like the master's nap.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about like if your dad comes over and he sits down on your couch and you're like getting ready to go to dinner,

Speaker 1 he'll use those 10 minutes to get a little shut eye, just a quick shut-eye. Bubba actually has a little bit of dad in him because he can fall asleep just about anywhere.
All these things

Speaker 1 are happening to me, though, which makes sense because I'm about to be a dad, but I can notice them a lot more. It's like your body is nesting.
Yeah. Like your body just knows.

Speaker 1 I used to take, when I was in like my 20s, I used to take like a three-hour nap on a Saturday when I was hungover.

Speaker 1 Now I take, no joke, like six. eight-minute naps on a Saturday.
It's the worst. You know what the worst? I did that literally this Saturday.
I just, like for eight minutes, I'd fall asleep.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, whoa, what time is it? Oh, it's only been eight minutes. And then an hour would go by and just take another eight minute nap.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I actually timed my naps by opening up Twitter and seeing how long ago my last refresh was. And I was like, oh, yeah.
I felt like I was just asleep for 30 minutes. Turns out it was five.

Speaker 1 That will be the opening of True Life. I'm Addicted to Twitter PFT.
Yes, absolutely. My second pick is going to be, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 owning two pairs of the exact same shoes. Oh, that's a big one.

Speaker 1 My dad used to buy every

Speaker 1 like, what? I like it. I like my shoes.
Yeah, you find a shoe that works for you. Why would you ever want to to listen? There's like eight years in a row where my dad wore the exact same shoes.

Speaker 1 And as you get older, you have like back tendencies that pop up. And so you find the ones that you like that mold themselves to your foot.

Speaker 1 And then there's like a breaking in period where you switch to the second pair and you're like, I got to break these ones in. Yes.
And also, you could switch up, use like what Hank was saying.

Speaker 1 One of these pairs is for mowing the lawn and the other is for walking around the house.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, the best is when your dad gets the multiple pairs of the same shoe and they're all in different states.

Speaker 1 So there's like the nice clean ones that he'll wear if you like have to go out in public, but he still has his old shoes, they're just in a different part of the rotation.

Speaker 1 Where then he has the one pair that it's like that literally is just for like cleaning out the fucking sum pump or whatever. Yeah, it's usually located in the garage.

Speaker 1 If something blows up in your basement, he'll put on those last pair of shoes that he had eight years ago.

Speaker 1 He's got the formal shoes, then he's got the ones that he wears down to the Y because he wants to shoot around. Yeah, all right, Hank, you got two.

Speaker 5 Uh, my first one will be like peeing outside of the house, house, even though there's a bathroom right indoors.

Speaker 1 That's a guy move. I do that all the time.
Yes, yes, yes. It's a great, it feels way better to pee outside than

Speaker 1 human beings. We're not designed to pee inside.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I will pee like 10 feet away from a bathroom, but just making sure it's outside.

Speaker 5 And then my other one, I'll say, like, if you say, like, hey, I'm tired, and then the dad will be like, I'm dad, nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 You mean, like, hey, tired, I'm dad. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
Like, I'm hungry. That's a good hungry.
Nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah.
I'm bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or he'll say, like, you know, like, oh, that mister was my dad's name. You can call me.
And then that, just dad jokes in general. You want to take dad jokes? That's not all.

Speaker 1 I don't want to do that. Do you guys have another ones you can do? No, I think that's it.
You got it. Dad jokes.
I feel bad taking another dad joke after that. Yeah, that's it's dad jokes.

Speaker 1 It's the like the puns, the

Speaker 1 funny signs that they see, just whatever you can think of, dad jokes. And then if they nail it, it will make their day forever.
Like they, because, you know, I'm assuming you guys,

Speaker 1 people have the same like family structure where everyone reaches a certain age where the dad just becomes the butt of the joke for the whole family unit.

Speaker 1 And it sucks because it's like once everyone gets like past like 15, the dad just gets fucking roasted. It's just a dad roast.
But there's a sweet every time you're together.

Speaker 1 But when he gets that one in, it's like, holy shit, he got it.

Speaker 3 He takes his lap.

Speaker 1 It's like a fucking walk off. It's Joe Carter hitting the home run of the World Series.

Speaker 1 There's a sweet spot between the age of like nine and I want to say 15 or 16 where the dad is king of that family. He's Bernie Mac.

Speaker 1 The kids are old enough where you can fuck with them a little bit and make fun of them and play all these little dad pranks. Yeah, and the jokes are funny.
You reign supreme, but then...

Speaker 1 He's a pure athlete. Yeah, oh, yeah.
But he'll fucking box you down. Yeah, he'll bring you down to the post

Speaker 1 after you lose in horse to your son. At that point, it's just nature.
It's Rochester. Yeah, it's like the lion just choking out the adult lion, and the pride belongs to him now.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 It's so true. I still have to do it.

Speaker 1 Every dad, everyone who's listening to this, whether you are yourself a dad, or obviously, if you have like a family with your dad, you're close with your dad, you just know your dad just becomes the butt of every joke.

Speaker 1 Okay, my next one is going to be beer fridge. Wait.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hank did too.
He almost got lost in the stake already. Beer fridge.
Beer fridge. Fridge that's dedicated to beer.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's into micro-brewing for a little bit, or maybe he has a side project where he got like a little sankey-sized kegerator that you can use to pour your craft beer out of, a through-the-wall tap, some refrigerating unit that is dedicated solely to his choice of beer.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that one.

Speaker 1 And the thing is, he doesn't drink that much beer. He'll have like two beers on a Friday night and then fall asleep.
Yes. But that's still his fridge, and don't you touch it.

Speaker 1 Don't you touch that fridge? Unless your mother's out of town, and then we don't tell her when she gets back. Keep party on.
All right. I have two here to round myself out.

Speaker 1 Confidence dancing.

Speaker 1 Every dad, they reach a point where they're confident in dancing at weddings or whatever it may be, and they're so bad, but they don't like, you know, how, like, if I go to a wedding, I don't dance because I know I suck at dancing.

Speaker 1 But then you see a dad who's cutting it up, and he's terrible. But if you asked him after, he'd be like, I fucking owned that dance floor.

Speaker 1 There's something that happens with dads where they just like flip a switch, they don't care about being embarrassed, and then they just own a dance floor or any kind of social setting where they're terrible at it, but they think they're like the best dancer ever.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's part of the great part of getting old. Yeah.
It's just like you stop giving a shit what anybody else thinks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they get the tie around their forehead and they're like doing the whole thing. And, you know, they really can only move their arms.
They can't move their hips whatsoever.

Speaker 1 But they're like, I crushed that dance floor.

Speaker 1 All right, my last one would be manning the grill. Every dad, that's like the sacred place.
Like, I want to man the grill. Don't touch the grill.
talking about the grill,

Speaker 1 asking everyone, is your meat good? Do you need me to put it back on for a minute on the grill?

Speaker 1 Just the grill grill and everything that comes around it, it becomes like the most sacred place for a dad. Talking about grill specs with a neighbor.
Everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So a dad will see like a neighbor get a grill, a new grill, and then the dad then has to acquire a grill with similar specs, but he can't get the exact same one because then he's a copycat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So he goes and he gets the one that's got, yeah, okay, so I've got the 14,000 BTU burners.

Speaker 1 I got four of them set up, but I also got the side burner in case I want to get a pot of beans going at the same time. And everyone works for dad when he's he's on the grill.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, can you grab me a plate for the burgers? Like, you become the wait staff. He does the thing, the clicking with the tongs, clicking the tongs, like, oh, you want this?

Speaker 1 You want cheese on your burger? You want this? Like, he is basically like the head chef, and he owns the world when he's on the grill.

Speaker 1 It's his domain, and he's usually just cooking like frozen hamburgers. Yeah, pretty much.
Just the Costco staff of frozen hamburgers, and then a few hot dogs. A couple hot dogs.

Speaker 1 But he turns into Gordon Ramsey. Yes, exactly.
All right. Okay, my last one.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 owning a pair of transition lenses. I don't think that you're legally allowed to wear transition lenses until you can prove that you have a child.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because they are patentedly ridiculous, but they are the most dad thing in the world, and that's practical. Yes.
They're the most practical set of eyewear that you could ever purchase.

Speaker 1 They change when you go into it. You don't have to fuddle around with like taking off a pair of sunglasses, getting indoors, putting on your bifocals.

Speaker 1 You just wear the same pair all day long to go with your shoes.

Speaker 1 When my dad started to lose his eyesight he he just wouldn't like he couldn't come to grips with it so he kept on buying like over-the-counter eyeglasses at different strengths until he had like 60 pairs of eyeglasses and he would just like mix and match like oh this is my like

Speaker 1 four feet from my face this is my four and a half feet from my face like dude you just can't see anything i've had a ball game i wear these yeah right binoculars you just can't see maybe i'll just start rocking transition lenses maybe that's how i'll get out of the sunglasses game eventually there you go uh hank your last pick uh My last one, I will go with making the same meal every time mom is gone.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes, because my dad would just make spaghetti.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 but then they will.

Speaker 1 Maybe pancakes. They put the word famous in front of it, though.
It's like time for dad's famous waffles. And it's a fucking eggo.
Yeah. Time for dad.
Yeah, you want your dad's famous oatmeal? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's fucking oatmeal. Yeah, it's an eggo waffle.
It's dad's famous waffle, but it's just got a little bit of peanut butter smeared on it. That's good, Hank.
That's really good.

Speaker 1 All right, any ones that we missed?

Speaker 1 No, that was great. I thought everybody did a wonderful job.
We all killed it. Anything we missed? I was going to say

Speaker 5 cereal, eating cereal at night.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Breakfast for dinner when mom's at. That's another one.

Speaker 1 Forgetting names, like not learning new names after a certain point. I actually was, my dad was here this weekend.

Speaker 1 We were watching the golf and the Cubs, and he asked me how Raul Mondesi was doing for the Reds. And I knew he was talking about Yassi El Puig.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, Raul Mondese hasn't played an MLB since 2005. It was like, but that's the thing.
Like, at some point when you're a dad, you're like, I'm not learning new, new names.

Speaker 5 Yeah, like asking about friends that you've been friends with in like 10 years. Like, oh, how's Joe?

Speaker 1 It's like, I don't, like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 We were on the same little league team.

Speaker 1 But those are the names he knew. So he's like, I know names.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, going to a store and getting mad and trying to exchange or trying to get a refund on part of your product because you missed a sale by like a couple days. Right.

Speaker 1 You went and you bought the product two days later. You're like, now it's on sale.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I need to get this $20 back that I would have saved had I bought it two days later. Buying way too many corn flakes.
Because you tricked me.

Speaker 1 Buying too many cornflakes and then making your son PFT eat cornflakes every single morning for three years. Did I ever tell you guys about the Chexmix story? No, of course.

Speaker 1 Here's another one. All right, so my dad found a deal where you could get

Speaker 1 the Wizards and the Capitals. We're having a shit.
Oh, you did. You saw how this last year.
You went to

Speaker 1 the next one. The Wizards were having such a shitty attendance here.
They had a deal where you bought a bag of Chex Mix, they just gave you a free ticket to go to a Wizards game.

Speaker 1 My dad came home with like 25 bags of Chex Mix. He was like, you can invite 25 of your friends to come watch the Wizards.
I was like, first of all, I don't know if I have 25 friends.

Speaker 1 Secondly, I definitely don't have 25 friends that want to go to a Wizards game on a school night. Right.
And how are we going to get them all there? And how are we going to get them there?

Speaker 1 Because they closed down the Metro.

Speaker 1 And then there's other fucking parents have to drive their shitty kids to the Wizards game. Exactly.
So that was bad. Yeah, but shout out all the dads out there.

Speaker 1 Oh, here's another happy father's day having one year where you try to grow a mustache yeah every dad has that period yeah my dad had a mustache for like 20 years yeah yeah yeah you gotta every dad's gotta have a mustache at some point but yeah shout out all the dads out there i'm sure there's a lot of dads that listen to this show so if you're a dad who listens to this show actually no if your dad listens to this show i assume he doesn't have twitter get a couple texts and and tweet it at us we'd love to see some ones that we missed from like the og dads like talking 55 and up dads get your dad to text you some of the things we missed and we will retweet the best ones here's another one wearing wearing carpenter shorts like jean denim shorts that have the big hammer loop in them pockets even though your dad hasn't done a day's worth of home improvements in his life yeah oh holding holding all the tickets yep that's a big dad thing like like plane tickets game tickets whatever he's got to have them all and he's just like at every chance like oh you got here you go and then he feels like the kingmaker passing out all those tickets yep all right Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll post this,

Speaker 1 the graphic, and tweet us the ones we missed. And definitely get your dad to respond via text if he's a listener.
We'd love to hear from the OG dads. I'm really glad Mount Rushmore season's back.

Speaker 1 That was nice. It's great.
Here's another dad move. Hiring your shitty son to be part of your NFL coaching staff.
Yeah. That's another big time move.
That's a good one. Classic dad move.

Speaker 1 That's a good one, too.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Before we get to Monday reading and wrap up the show, we have to connect the dots real quick. So the Raptors do, in fact, have a parade, correct? They are having a parade.
I think it's today.

Speaker 1 As you're listening to this, as the crow flies, Toronto is going to be having a parade. It's going to be the most polite parade in probably a single-file line.

Speaker 1 Everyone applauding at appropriate tones.

Speaker 1 But New Balance Canada tweeted out this little nugget. He said,

Speaker 1 If you're attending the parade tomorrow, look for a New Balance Street team along the route and turn on airdrop to receive a special message from the fun guy himself.

Speaker 1 Pass it on. So Kawhi Leonard's going to be airdropping things to people along the route.
I'm trying to figure out what it is. Nudes.

Speaker 1 Draymond would do nudes. No, it's going to be like Kawhi emoji.
Something like that. Kawhi Bitmojis.
They're dropping a Kawhi Bitmoji tomorrow.

Speaker 1 With like a champ, and it's just going to be Kawhi just standing with his hands on his hips. Yeah.
Maybe every emoji. Pancakes.
Yeah. And a championship trophy.

Speaker 1 Whatever it is, they're going to think it's fun and it's not going to be fun. Yes.
It's him beer bonging a bunch of room temperature water. Did you see the video of him in Vegas?

Speaker 1 I actually feel bad for Kawhi at this point because it's one of those jokes that everyone on the internet has made. So he can't do anything to disprove what we think he's doing at that moment.

Speaker 1 Like, if you just show me a picture of Kawhi, if you take a video of him, you're just going to be like, oh, that guy's not having any fun. He's a robot.
He just wants to play basketball.

Speaker 1 There's nothing he can do at this point to be like, oh, my God, Kawhi's coming out of his shell. The brand is very strong.

Speaker 1 So strong. Yeah, the brand.
So I kind of feel bad. Like, he was just sitting in a Vegas cabana, and someone took a video of him and he was just sitting there.
He was looking at a girl.

Speaker 1 And everyone was like, look at Kawhi. He's miserable.
He just wants to be playing basketball. Is it classic Kawhi looking at an attractive girl in a swimsuit? Like, I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 I think he probably's just sitting there because if you sit in a Vegas cabana, there's probably going to be moments where you're just sitting there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and if somebody takes a video of me just out of context anywhere in like Las Vegas, you could probably find five seconds of me doing a very Kawhi thing. Right.

Speaker 1 Even the Serge Abaca video where Kawhi was sitting next to him in the car, it was a completely normal thing, and everyone was like, Man, Kawhi is so not fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, I don't know, dude, he seems okay. I think the smart money is on a new Kawhi series of bitmojis coming out.
Let's be nice to Kawhi.

Speaker 1 I think Kawhi is more fun than we, than the internet collectively has put on him. Agreed, the pendulum is going to swing.
He is named after the best island in Hawaii, which is cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with exceptionally

Speaker 1 spelled different. That's fine.

Speaker 1 Yes, I agree. That's the one that would get nuked first.

Speaker 1 That's the one that had the

Speaker 1 fake thing where they're like, hey, you guys are all going to die.

Speaker 1 And then they fired. That was funny.
They fired the person that accidentally sent it out.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do our Monday reading, wrap up the show. So this one comes randomly.
Someone tweeted this. I don't have his Twitter handle, but thank you to the person who tweeted at us.

Speaker 1 You know who you are. It is titled, it's a post on Reddit.
It says,

Speaker 1 what is TIFU? Today I fucked up. Today I fucked up.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you just write that? Okay. Shorthand.
Today I fucked up by eating bugs my entire life and having a spider bite the inside of my mouth. Okay, relatable.
All right, so here we go.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you know, some people have dark, dark, dark secrets. Some people pick their nose, some people pick it and eat it.
Well, first of all, everyone picks their nose. Some people eat shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some. Okay.
Some might.

Speaker 1 Interestingly respond right away there. Some because it spot the lie.
Did you say that's interesting, Hank? When I said some people eat shit and PFT didn't immediately jump in and say, what?

Speaker 1 It was a bet. Spot the lie.
Some people have eaten shit. Okay.

Speaker 1 Some people do really strange things. Well, I like to eat live bugs.
Nobody in my life knows this. I just like the way some of them are soft and taste quite gummy.

Speaker 1 I like how some are crunchy and almost explode in your mouth when you bite down. This guy clearly has never had gushers.
Like you can solve that right away.

Speaker 1 But it's not the same because you get the legs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. It's not exactly the same.
I started eating bugs when I was a kid. I started with ladybugs.
I just kept eating them.

Speaker 1 They secrete some bitter liquid, which had a really nice acquired taste. I went from ladybugs to other bugs.

Speaker 1 All right, real quick, I want to interrupt you because they said it was an acquired taste, but I can't see a world where you keep pushing through those first five or six times of eating a ladybug that suck, and you're like, eventually, you know, it's going to be like asparagus.

Speaker 1 I'll go into it, so I know they're good for me. Yeah, the first ladybug that secretes the bitter liquid.
Yeah. That's where I'm out.
First one, you're out. Yeah.
I went from ladybugs to other bugs.

Speaker 1 Wood lice were my second, and they were crunchy and easy to find.

Speaker 1 They also felt nice to eat when they're in their ball state, a bit like cereal. Was this written by a bear?

Speaker 1 It feels like it was. Yeah, it's like I moved on to woodlice.
I could find them under the big log when the winter thawed. This is like a fox.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I would forage for them. Bear wrote this.
If you dig a shallow hole, you can find all sorts of tasty grubs. Okay.
This is like Timon and Pumba. Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 The taste isn't really the thing I like the most of the time. It's the texture, how it feels in my mouth.
I love to eat them to this day. I went on to other insects as I got older.

Speaker 1 It's good that his palate is

Speaker 1 expanding. Well, you got to keep chasing the dragon because getting

Speaker 1 that first taste the first time you ate a ladybug, you have to keep chasing that and finding grosser and grosser things to eat. Right.
I started eating spiders.

Speaker 1 In the UK, there are some spiders which move out at certain times of the year, which can get big. I think it's called the brown spider or wolf spider.
Those things are fucking dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're eating. Those are the size of spiders? Those things are the size of a small crab.
Jesus Christ. When they squirm, oh my god.

Speaker 1 When they squirm when biting down, it almost adds to the texture. And the liquid that comes out is really creamy and good to eat.
The legs are the problem, though, as they get stuck in your teeth.

Speaker 1 This is so fun.

Speaker 4 This has got to be fake, right?

Speaker 1 This has got to be. Is this Eli Manning that wrote this? This has got to be fake.
Today I ate one of those spindly spiders, the daddy longleg ones.

Speaker 1 I saw some in the corner of my room minding their own business in their web. That's just impractical.
Do you know how many daddy long legs you'd have to eat to get full?

Speaker 1 Probably like... Well, he's eating it for the texture, mind you.
You could probably eat a hundred daddy long legs and still feel like you haven't really had it. It's like one moth stick.

Speaker 1 A moth was stuck in the web. Moths are disgusting.
They're like eating a spoon of flour. Wow.
Everyone knows that. Damn.

Speaker 1 I didn't know there was a line. But I guess moths are where he draws the line.
They've got the powder on the wings. It makes it hard to digest.
I put the spider in my mouth and proceeded to chew it.

Speaker 1 Now, before I got my bite in to kill it, I think it bit me somehow on my tongue or something. The worst burning sensation I have ever had happened at that moment.

Speaker 1 It was like my mouth was on fire, but not in a good way, like spice. First, my tongue was burning and it spread to my jaw, and eventually I felt like my brain was going to come out.

Speaker 1 Bro, it was a poisonous spider. My tongue has a strange, bumpy bit on it now, and I don't know if I should see a doctor or not.
Dude, you got spider herpes.

Speaker 1 Even if I did see the doctor, how the fuck do I tell him how it happened?

Speaker 1 I would not go see the doctor. I think you're probably first in line to get some sort of superpower after this.
Oh, this is one of those moments where, like,

Speaker 1 we all love the internet, right? The internet has become this thing that is endless entertainment. You can go down these rabbit holes.
But here's what also happens with the internet.

Speaker 1 You have people who have been eating

Speaker 1 bugs their entire life think that they need to share their story with the internet. Like,

Speaker 1 if you go back 20 years, I'm sure there was a bug-eating dude in the UK eating his wolf spiders and being like gross, not moss, and scurrying around looking for wood lice, but he was just there minding his own business, and no one ever had to know about him.

Speaker 1 Now we know about him, and I feel like 0.01%

Speaker 1 less confident that humanity will continue. You know what, though?

Speaker 1 It's like everybody that reads this, that reads about the dude that eats bugs, there is going to be a very small percentage of people that will try it for the first time and really enjoy it.

Speaker 1 So it's actually actually spreading it out.

Speaker 1 What do you think is going to happen to the ecosystem? I was going to say all these bugs are going to be getting eaten.

Speaker 1 I was going to say it's probably better for the planet for people to get their sources of protein from bugs than from big-ass cow farms, right?

Speaker 1 That's why people keep telling me that crickets are the food of the future. Yeah, but why? I'm not going to participate in it, but I acknowledge that it could be.

Speaker 1 Watch this dude just like kills off the UK population of toads because they're like, oh, all of a sudden they just don't have any fucking spiders to eat. I assume that's what toads eat.

Speaker 1 Toads probably eat a fair amount of stuff. Yeah, they they eat the insects.
Crubs and creepy crabs.

Speaker 1 So now this guy, this fucking idiot, who's sitting there probably with like a half-eaten bag of Fritos next to his bed, is eating all the spiders, and little Toady down there down the street can't get his protein up.

Speaker 1 So he's contributing to the extinction of other species. Correct.
And then because the toad population goes down, then there aren't going to be any princesses getting married in a couple years.

Speaker 1 Exactly. So now we're all fucked.
Yeah, great. Good.
Awesome. Angela Markle's.
Or wait, that's not her name. Megan Markle is the last princess.
No, Angela Merkel.

Speaker 1 The princess from Scotland is the last person who will get married in the royal family because this motherfucker killed all the toads. God damn it.
This world sucks. All right, that's our show.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore season continues. We'll see everyone Wednesday.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of me.

Speaker 1 Like the same,

Speaker 1 I watch it.

Speaker 1 But be some little way.

Speaker 1 Something like

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Like some legends, sing somebody.

Speaker 1 Like some legends, take the song.

Speaker 1 Without you, I'm a silhouette.

Speaker 1 Without you, I'm a silhouette.

Speaker 1 You're all in love

Speaker 1 love,

Speaker 1 take note,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 I am

Speaker 1 without you