Joe Buck, Laila Ali, US Open, AD Trade, And Mt Rushmore Of Dad Moves

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have crowned the U.S. Open champion.
It's not Brooks Koepka. We're not mad.
Gary Woodland, recap of everything. We also have Joe Buck calls in right after.
Pebble Beach concludes. The Anthony Davis trade, who's back of the week an awesome interview with layla ali uh we actually can say that we mentally tko'd muhammad ali no we mko'd mko'd yeah layla and then by transitive property the greatest of all time muhammad she had mko'd her dad.
Right. And so we are the heavyweight champion of the world.

We're also, yeah.

Yeah, all right.

So we also have the return of Mount Rushmore season.

Mount Rushmore of dad moves in honor of Father's Day.

And then a Monday reading that's very, very gross.

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every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by

and tough losses are even harder to accept.

But you know what?

Thank you. reading that's very, very gross.
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Okay, let's go. Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of stuff, work to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't leave all on the sun, oh no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by the Cash App Go download the Cash App right now Put in promo code BARSTOOL $5 to ASPCA, save some animals Today is Monday, June 17th, and the Gucci gang fell just short.
Well, it was close. And here's a quick spin zone for Brooks Koepka fans, all the Brooks stans out there.
Yes. He said to us that he's really focusing on the Open Championship this year, the British Open.
That's the one he doesn't have. He really, really wants that one.
He's already.s opens don't get greedy so yeah you know he was looking ahead to uh whatever fucked up course they're going to be on in a couple months probably whistling where where are they going no uh saint andrews or yeah saint michael's whatever just saint something in scotland or wales or ireland i don't even i don't know but i uh listen brooks put up a val effort. He was going for the three-peat, which would have been incredible to watch.
Would have been a dynasty. Would have been a dynasty.
But I think there is a certain element of whatever the best story is for Father's Day will happen, and that was Gary Woodland, and he was fantastic. Sinking the last putt, which is always like a huge moment.
You never want to be the guy who gets like a bogey on the last hole to win by one stroke he he cashed that last putt it was very emotional the crowd was chanting gary get which is a not like a name that rolls off the tongue for the champ yeah but everyone's like gary gary so congrats to him we're gonna get to the ad trade we're gonna do some US Open talk first. The course.
Let's talk about the course. The course fucking sucked.
A bit of a disappointment for the guys that root for the course out there. It had a couple highlights.
A couple. I'll say this.
The way that it ends at Pebble Beach when they have a big fucking tree that's just growing in the middle of the fairway, that's always cool. That is cool.
It's like, okay, you don't get that anywhere else and you have to shape your shot around the fucking tree uh the tree of life is like the tree of life from avatar yeah yeah i never saw it well soon avatar 2 is going to come

out in 2028 yeah as soon as uh alabama and it's usually like illinois finish doing their home and

home that they've already scheduled it's soon as soon as all those weirdos that got super depressed

that they weren't part of the what was the what was the name of the avatar nation uh the unobtainium

Yeah, as soon as all those weirdos that got super depressed that they weren't part of the what was the what was the name of the avatar nation uh the unobtainium yeah as soon as do you remember that when after avatar ended there was like a but there were stories in like the new york times being like people are depressed they're not part of like the blue they're not part of the world yeah that they created i i go through that every single time avatars listen join the rest of us because that's a feeling everyone else gets when they get done watching porn. Yeah.
I get depressed that I wasn't in that orgy. So, yeah, the Tree of Life.
The Tree of Life was nice. And then the seagull that swooped down and tried to eat Phil Mickelson's T-shot.
Yes. That was pretty cool.
I'd like to see more nature get involved. Some fescue.
Some rough. There was a bit of fescue here and there.
A couple sand shots. Yeah, just overall, kind of a a disappointing showing from the course i feel like it's got to drop a little bit in the world rankings yeah the red numbers on sunday not great when you're when you're trying to uh defend the course for the u.s open now there is a little bit of controversy because people were saying that woodland was playing too slow and brooks got bored yeah there was a moment where they were like brooks is is held because they can't find someone else's ball.
He was just hanging out. It was reported that he was talking about dipping with the guy he was playing with, Chez.
Shea. Yeah, by the way, just a sidebar here.
Two great names on Sunday. Chez Reavy and Chesson Hadley.
The fact that he wasn't playing for the at-line. Yeah, I thought that was the PLL.
It was insane. Chesson Hadley.
Chesson Hadley. No, Chesson.
No T. Oh, Chesson Hadley.
Chesson Hadley. So, yeah, Brooks got screwed by the fact that everything was moving too slow.
And we know Brooks doesn't like to play slow. He likes to play fast.
He actually was playing ahead of the camera. There was multiple times where we just didn't see his live shot because he was so fast.
He's an adrenaline guy. So the second you slow him down, it was like putting in a relief pitcher.
They kind of took the rhythm out of Brooks' cup. Because he started out when he birdied the first three or four holes.
Yeah, he was on fire. He was on fire at the start.
And then once he started to get bored, as he said, like holes. Seven through 12.
It's like, just get rid of those holes. He he was right just get rid of those ones and he'd be fine yeah he would have been the champion but it was a valiant effort by brooks he also we also had an all-time brooks blake by the way i just keep calling him blake like in the privacy of my own home i've been saying blake and just being like that's not his name but i've been saying it uh he on saturday it was cold at pebble beach and joel clatt asked brooks after the uh round why didn't you get like maybe like a cup of coffee or something to warm up your hands and he just matter of factly said i've never had a hot drink in my life and he was like what uh well i grew up in florida so like? Nope.
Never had a hot drink in his life.

It's shades of Blake Bortles telling us that snow is, in fact, wet back in 2017 or 16.

This guy, Blake Koepka, he's doing it.

He is a very, very Florida man.

I don't blame him.

You grew up in Florida.

The hottest drink you have is just a beer that you left out in the sun for too long.

That's like their version of tea. It's just 40 of Milwaukee's best ice that you left on your back porch in May.
He's the inverse of Nick Van Exel, just finally, like, at the age of 50, figuring out that iced coffee. That's still, by the way, an underrated storyline.
If you don't know, Nick Van Exel has lived his entire life until last week, not knowing that iced coffee existed. Not saying I don't like iced coffee.

He was mad at everyone for not telling him about iced coffee.

Listen, Florida's got a lot of great things down there.

And then he goes to bed at night.

He's like, going to bed, can't wait to wake up for my iced coffee.

Now it's life-changing.

He's going to get really into iced coffee for like a couple weeks and then forget about it for another 40 years.

It's like the moments in life for Nick Van Exel is just everything in between his next iced coffee. It's like when 50 Cent was at a club.
No, he was at dinner somewhere, and he ordered a grapefruit soda, and he brought it out. He's like, why the fuck isn't this purple? He didn't know that a grapefruit was different than the fruit grape.
Yeah. Right.
So, yeah, that's our and and Blake Kepka not never having a hot drink sidebar but yeah so the course sucked uh Blake almost won he should have won but he didn't Gary Woodland great story Father's Day story yeah I know he's got you know he had that clip uh from the waste management open which is so funny they funny. They keep showing this emotional clip of Gary Woodland basically having –

I don't even know what the premise behind it was,

but there was a mentally retarded girl who played the hole with him,

and I think she just nailed her putt.

It was like an all-time tearjerker moment,

but the fact they have to keep saying,

at the Waste Management Open, is so fucking funny.

No, it is great.

They should have Pauly from The Sopranos deliver the award every year

I don't know Okay You're not supposed to say that? I don't know. Okay, we'll put that out.
A person with Down syndrome? Yeah, she was developmentally challenged in some way, and she was playing with Gary. It was a great clip.
Mentally challenged? I feel like that's even worse. We're losing the track of what the story was.
Right. And that was this girl made an awesome putt.
I can't keep up with words. I meant no harm.
And now Gary is a guy that you want to root for. Yes.
All right. So the other things I wrote down.
How much does it suck, do you think, to be in the final pairing? What are you looking at me for, Hank? What is it? Google it. Ask it.
Do a poll on Twitter right now. No.
And just have people try to figure out what we're talking about. Hard no.
Be like, what is it? What is the proper name for this? Listen, I can't keep up with it. I meant no dis...
I didn't mean to offend anyone. I didn't even know that was...
I figured we'd have the conversation. Jesus Christ.
All right, so I guess about something. Breaking news.
About all of that. Breaking news, the Open Championship will be held at Royal Portrush Golf Club in Northern Ireland.
Perfect. So the Protestants finally get their due.
Rory. Rory is going to absolutely know.
I always get confused when I see the Northern Ireland flag pop up next to somebody's name. I'm like, wait, that just looks like a more racist English flag.
Yes, yes. All right, so I wrote down this.
Justin Rose. Liam Neeson's going to be walking around with a putter just looking to crush somebody.
Yeah. What was the thing he was walking around with? During the trouble.
A cudgel. A cudgel.
Yeah, he's canceled, so he's not invited. That guy.
Wow. But is he canceled? I feel like he's going to just come out with a movie where he hunts someone down and everyone's like, oh, yeah, Liam Neeson's back.
Well, put it this way. We're still making movies with Mel Gibson as the star.
He had a comeback. Yeah.
All right. So, Justin Rose, I always find it fascinating when you're in the final pairing and you're with the winner, the eventual winner, and you just fucking suck on Sunday.
That's got to be the worst. Like, in terms of all sports, because if you suck in a team sport, you're getting put on the bench.
You know, you have a moment, but it's over. He literally knew, like, probably about eight holes in.
Today's not my day. I stink.
and the cameras just have to keep watching him and then at the end gary woodland sinks his putt everyone's chanting gary gary and justin rose still has to go yeah like pathetically finish his round where i think he shot plus four that is maybe the worst spot to be in pro sports oh it's tough it's, very tough. Do they do the Pro-Am the week after US Open? I don't know why.
I mean, this is classic Chris Berman territory here. The Pebble Beach Pro-Am.
That's where he comes out and he shines. I think the course needs a couple weeks to recoup.
Well, yeah, it does need some time off. I would go try to find yourself, rebuild your swing.
Yeah, someone's got to come out and just fill in all the divots with that weird green sand that they have in the back of carts. If you really want to fuck up the course and make it nasty again, just let Berman play four rounds on it and just have him sweat all over and take divots out.
Yeah, and just, you know, by the way, Gary Woodland, very poor sport when he chipped off the green. We were saying that that's something that as golf guys, I didn't even know that was legal.
If you do that at my club that I don't belong to, you're out. You're out, man.
We actually had to – this is how much we know about golf. We had a real discussion while it was happening like, wait, can you do that? Are you allowed to chip off the green? As long as you don't take a divot and you apologize to the course afterwards.
I think that if you're in the last group, you're allowed to do that you can't fuck it up anymore that's true good point um okay so the other thing we got to talk about the real quick with woodland i like how he tapes his fingers yes so he looks kind of feel like a real athlete yeah he looks he looks like he's a defensive back in the nfl and that's a lot of these golf guys they have they carry around a chip on their shoulder where it's like i could be a real athlete if i wanted to so i'm just gonna like put on this k this kinesio tape on my neck. I'm going to sleep with Perkins waitresses like I'm a member of the Showtime Lakers.
I'm going to bench. Yeah, I'm going to bench.
And so this was Woodland's way of doing it. Navy Seals.
Yeah. Basically tape up all his fingers so he looks like a catcher trying to get his pitcher to see that he's calling for a curveball.
Exactly, yeah. All right, so the other story we got to get to, this league, the Raptors couldn't even have,

the Raptors, the poor Raptors, man,

they got cocked by Klay Thompson's ACL,

and then two days later,

Anthony Davis gets traded to the Lakers in the trade that we all kind of expected to happen,

that finally happened,

and everyone's talking about that, everyone's talking about this league, everyone's talking about this league everyone's talking about the lakers gonna win the championship next year the chip and i don't i couldn't even remember who won who won the title this year oh the raptors yeah yeah the raptors that's right yeah so not an american team yeah not the other team but yeah so so ad going to the lakers uh this is an immediate who's man situation yeah who's man's is the lakers is leBron James's team or is it or is it Kyrie's team well it is it's LeBron's team for this reason because if you were part of LeBron's team this is since 2000 July uh 2010 Bobby Marks tweeted this there's been 42 trades if you were on LeBron's team Miami had 11 Cleveland had 27 and the Lakers have four so essentially if you're on LeBron's team it's not a if it's just a win LeBron will decide to trade you and shout out Kyle Kuzma somehow like I was listening to I think they just forgot that he worked there no I so from everything I've like heard read listened to Kyle Kuzma just became best friends with LeBron smart like he was he was the smart He was his DD. I'm going to be LeBron's friend here and show that I'm very mature and not be Lonzo Ball, and then eventually I'll get to stick around with LeBron.
And when we lose in, like, the seventh game of the Western Conference Files, everyone can blame me and not LeBron. Yeah.
No, every office in America has that person. That isn't very good at their job, but they become very, very close friends with the person who is.
And so then you're totally indispensable at that point. So shout out to Kuzma.
But I do want to say, there's a curse that's been put on the way. Oh yeah, big time.
That we have to talk about. Big time.
And that is the ball curse. Yes.
The big baller brand curse. LeVar said that they will never win another championship after trading away his son.
His direct quote, it will be the worst move the Lakers ever did. Does he know they traded for Dwight Howard? Steve Harris and Dwight Howard, yeah.
It will be the worst move the Lakers ever did in their life, and they will never win another championship, guarantee it. So this is like the David Griffin, remember when he did the, obviously everyone remembers the Comic Sans sans post but part of that comic sans post was we are going to win a title before lebron ever does no didn't happen also dan gilbert way to uh fire uh david griffin over like five hundred thousand dollars and david griffin just goes to the pelicans and pulls off a pretty nice fucking deal for anthony davis where he gets i're going to get it.
We have our PMT sports biz intern, Jake, here. I think from what I understand, the Pelicans just own every Lakers picks forever.
I don't understand how half this stuff works. Every year, and then if they don't want it, they still get it.
The NBA is so – they make things needlessly complicated. I could spend five years trying to figure out exactly what all these picks mean and like the definition of the word asset.
And I would never understand. The only thing I do know is that when LeBron well past LeBron's career, so he'll be retired.
A.D. will probably be retired.
There will be a day where we're sitting there. We're like 45 watching the NBA lottery go down.
And they're like, just remember remember the pelicans still have six more of lakers picks that's smart so we won't know who won the trade like ever right it's like the it's like when when uh the celtics traded kg and and pierce to the nets and the nets gave up every pick for the rest of everything so new orleans is going to just be like la south right okay so tell us, Jake. And then there's also this thing where if if the trade goes down July 6th, the Lakers have cap room.
But if it doesn't, they don't explain it to us. Yeah.
So the two biggest. So the two biggest differences, July 6th and July 30th are the two big differences for when the trade can go down.
And July 6th, the very specific date, it's the end of the free agent moratorium date, which is the first week of free agency. They moved it to June 30th at 6 p.m., so it's not an overnight thing.
So if July 6th happens, which Woj reported is most likely, it will leave the Lakers without enough cap space to sign another free agent. It'll be $27.5 million, but Anthony Davis has a $4 million trade bonus on the table.
So if he takes that, it gets docked down to $23.5 million. He won't, though.
Right. Because Rich Paul and LeBron, they'll be like, come on, dude.
So that's the difference. If he wants, he can help out the team.
We'll put you in Space Jam, too, and we'll pay you $10 million for one lot. We'll give you some Bitcoin.

We'll give you a row of grape trees. Yeah, exactly.
So if it was July 30th, it would actually help the Lakers because then they would have $32.5 million, which puts you in the category Kemba, Kyrie, et cetera. But the Pelicans would be docked from $19 million to $15 million if that happens.
So the Pelicans being in the power position, they really have no implicit reason to do it. So they're going to want to wait.
The Lakers will want to wait. Okay, got it.
He even got confused. Now he was explaining it.
I zoned out and got confused. This sounds like such a complicated deal.
Can I put this in the ESPN trade machine and will it work? That's all I need to know. I have works and I'm like great yeah so all right so what are we rooting for Jake you always do we want LeBron to have as little help as possible right you always root for chaos I guess too so true here's another thing if the trade doesn't go down until July 30th from what I read don't quote me on this but I think the lakers will be picking for the pelicans which sets up the awkward uh draft hat oh yes that's gonna be great and it's gonna actually yeah i actually okay i got it thank you jake yes yeah i wanted to go all the way to july 30th so not only is it the awkward draft hat but the guy who the pelicans take or the lakers take can't play for the pelicans in summer league right that's why very much that's a nice little wrinkle that we've never had.
So the trade machine right now already has Anthony Davis on the Lakers. That's a bit cocky, isn't it? Yeah, that is a little cocky.
I don't like that out of my trade machine. I was actually thinking about that.
What if one of them just happened to like, what if Lonzo Ball tore his ACL tomorrow? Yeah. They can always cancel it, right? They can cancel it.
Yeah, I mean, it's not official until July 6th. Listen that i i take it back this is not kairi's team it's not lebron's team this is rob palenka's team it's true by the way pelicans this league they tweeted out the gif of and here we go heath ledger little got him batman circa 2009 shout out john rostein uh all right so the other things i wrote down about this trade uh they're gonna have to – this is my favorite.
When the Lakers are back in the spot where they're going to have a really good team and they probably will win the West now the Warriors are hurt, the thing is they're going to have to fill up this roster with just randoms because they can't really pay anyone else besides Kemba if he comes and then Anthony Davis and LeBron and Kuzma. So I'm hoping that Carmelo Anthony, who is not officially retired, he would be a nice piece.
He would be a very nice piece. Pay him just whatever.
There's like a mid-level, I don't know what the fuck it is. This seems like a perfect landing spot for Spencer Haas, too.
Spencer Haas. He's in their system.
There are a lot of guys out there who I would like to see get a little run for the lakers at zero dollars yeah no when do the expiring contracts come into play can't they just load up can't they just have like six open spots on their bench just with pieces of paper that say expiring contracts pretty much pretty much but mba is so fucked up with how they do their trades it is i'm dumb the nfl is great they're just like okay this guy is getting traded for this guy and then this pick and then in baseball you have like the player to be named later yeah how does that work is it just on the gm to be like there's like a list we're not gonna fuck you and we're gonna name a player later yeah there's a short list there the other thing yeah the other thing with the nfl is that we've also figured out that contracts mean nothing. The signing bonus is everything, which is nice.

Hank, do you remember?

Go back in the time machine.

Thursday night, we finished taping around 2 in the morning.

I was on my way home.

I saw the Clay Thompson news.

I hopped on the group text, and I said, fuck, LeBron's going to win a title with the Lakers.

And you said, chill.

Are you still chill?

I'm always chill.

Daddy's always happy.

But yeah, I mean, probably the worst case scenario.

You just did a ginger reveal and a big eyebrow came out of the balloon.

It started in the group text.

I was like, when we were talking about how Klay Thompson was out,

and I was like, the Celtics should just go in, all in for Anthony Davis for a year.

Regardless, even if he's not going to re-sign, they should just do it. And maybe if they win, he'll re-sign kind of like Kawhi.
And then you're like, no, he's going to sign with the Lakers. You know what? Is this Houston's year? Dude, no.
Houston's a mess. I mean, Chris Paul's got the worst contract in sports.
It just sucks because LeBron always does this somehow. It always ends up to work out for him.
I know. Well, Rich Paul runs the league.
The worst part is, too, like, Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant both being injured. Like, they have time to do Space Jam.
Yes. But they're hurt.
They can't do Space Jam. Well, they can't.
They would probably have to play. They can just CGI it.
They could be players that get all their talent and ligaments stolen by the Monstars. Right.
Right. Exactly.
That's right. Okay.
No, it's LeBron. Like, the Lakers are going to be really good next year.
Because Anthony Davis. And Kawhi's not going to go to the Clippers, so it's going to be, LA's still going to be LeBron's team.
The Lakers, like throughout there, I love that. The Lakers are going to be interested in Kawhi.
Everyone's fucking interested in Kawhi. I'm interested in Kawhi.
Everyone, yeah. I'm very interested in them.
We want Kawhi to be the third host here. He wouldn't say much.
Internship open. It would be great.
Actually, he'd be great to have just, you know how on Conan O'Brien, they had Andy Richter as the laughing guy. Yeah.
Just have Kawhi with a microphone. Just go.
I think that would actually be the worst. Yeah.
It would go back to like the first episode where we had like the air horns and all that shit. Yeah.
So the Pelicans, though, let's talk about their side of the trade. I actually think that like was the best possible scenario for them, and I'm saying that because midway through the season in February, it was like, okay, Anthony Davis is about to get traded, and they're like, nope, we're going to wait.
By waiting and not playing Anthony Davis, they were able to essentially get Zion. Obviously, they had to get the lottery luck, but if they played Anthony Davis or if they traded Anthony traded anthony davis and gotten a bunch of players that then try that accidentally improved their draft right exactly so in a weird backwards way the pelicans wanted a franchise player out of the anthony davis trade and they sort of got one with zion and then lonzo ball who i actually don't think is as bad as people think he is he still can't shoot whatever and but he's a piece, and then they own every pick forever.
Yeah, New Orleans is going to be interesting to watch next year. I was a little bit looking forward to the outside chance that Zion and AD were going to play together at some point.
Here's the one thing that sucks about New Orleans is that Julius Randle just decided not to take his option for the Pelicans, so he's going to be an unrestricted free agent. Julius Randle and Zion Williamson would have been the chonkest front court of all time.
Big, big boys. It would have been incredible.
Big boys. Those asses thrown around in the paint, watch out.
And then you know Sean Payton likes to always... Sean Payton is the king of tampering with other sports athletes.
Right. So he's discovered a loophole in it where he can try to pilfer.
He's going to try to get Zion out to a few practices this summer, out to training camp a few times. But yeah, he would have loved having those two big boys in town.
Just so he could throw out a tweet every now and then, like being like, hey, we need a tight end. Yep.
We need another tight end. Ben Watson, not here.
And again, I can't stress this enough. Dan Gilbert, you're an idiot.
Because David Griffin, like, good job. He just doesn't give contracts to coaches and front office people.
GMs, yeah. And just makes LeBron want to leave twice.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
A franchise, yeah. A once-in-a-generation talent who was born an hour away, and he makes it so that he doesn't want to be there twice.
Now, is AD the best player to ever play with LeBron James? Oh, we get to do the Lakers center thing, too. Uh-huh.
Yeah, we get to do all those.

And they somehow skip over Dwight Howard.

Is he a true Laker?

And what's his name?

No, Andrew Bynum.

Fucking no respect for Andrew Bynum.

Are you leaving out my man, Kwame Brown?

Yeah, Kwame Brown, too.

There's a lot of Lakers centers where just fucking everyone's forgetting.

But, yeah, Anthony Davis, is he the best player? Yeah i'd probably say so him or dwayne wade yeah yeah deli i mean kyrie deli is up there as well kyrie's definitely gonna go to the nets now and just be weird and probably hate it after like a year so dumb because he hates everywhere like a slightly worse situation the celtics have kyrie yeah what's the least weird that that he would be, that Kyrie could be on a team? What team has the strongest group of people around him that could just be like, hey, Kyrie, just be cool. Just be normal for a year.
Kyrie reminds me of when I was like 11. I was like, I want to do karate.
And then after like two weeks, I was like, I fucking hate karate. That's what he does with teams.
On a guitar. Yeah, right, exactly.
Like when you're scatterbrained and you're like, oh, how about hockey? Mighty Ducks was cool. And they to do this i don't want to wake up early that's kairi but just with professional uh you know basketball i think going to different franchises you just might have add yeah just put him on some ritalin yeah let him lock in somewhere you gotta get him on the show though in brooklyn we'll just hunt him down he'll probably fucking live in like williamsburg and just do weird shit on instagram you know he will yeah yeah he seems like a guy that would take a long board around town yes for sure um okay so that's anthony davis trade sorry to the raptors you basically got cucked out of all your championship talk i also think that's a bad thing to to win a title and then have your parade be on the weekend because people kind of forget oh yeah it's an awful move yeah the best no i know Blues, though, they had Saturday.
I saw Brett Hull was the drunkest man in America. But you need to have your parade be on a Thursday or Friday so all the SportsCenter just covers it.
ESPN covers it from start to finish, and everyone sitting in their cube hating their life watches every moment and like, oh, this is cool. It loses some of the coolness when you see a guy like Brett Hull be extremely drunk,

but it's a Saturday.

Like, I want that to be on a weekday at like 11 a.m.

I don't want that shit to be like, okay, this is a normal hour for somebody to be drunk at.

Yes.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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Restrictions apply. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, Hank, why don't you start? Who's back? I have a few who's back of the week. My first one is singing boxers.
Yeah. So a few weeks ago, listeners of this show were introduced to Manny Pacquiao's beautiful singing voice.
Yeah. I did some karaoke with you guys.
And then on Saturday night, Tyson Fury had a second round knockout. And after the fight, he belted out a perfect rendition to Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.
It was so awkward. He sung it for like two, two and a half minutes.
The whole thing. Everyone thought it was going to be about like maybe three lines, and he just kept on going.
He loves the song, man. He loves the song.
Also, both those guys hate gay people a lot. Oh, really? Yeah, they're both really not good.
I just want to see another Fury Wilder fight. Yeah.
Yeah, that would be great. And Fury doing the Matrix thing.
Did you see that? Yeah, that was a sick clip. Yeah, that was weird, though.
That was pretty awkward with him just like, hey, man, just fucking with him.

Why are you still singing?

You're doing the whole song?

It's like you guys singing Take On Me.

Oh, shit.

We're doing the Liv Tyler with the fucking little animal cracker.

Ben Affleck puts it on her.

And the animal cracker climbs a mountain.

That's her tits.

That was a hot scene.

By the way, that was a really hot scene.

Don't try that scene at home because it doesn't work as well in real life if you're not ben affleck about to go save the world from an asteroid yes otherwise the girl's just like why are you getting crumbs all over my tits yeah again my other who's back i had a couple other was we talked about lavar my other who's back of the week is spike ball yes so uh i was on tv some i noticed i forgot who but some big journalists like put up a video of it. It got like 350,000 views.
That's a pretty good sign of increased potential viewership. It's a very fun sport to play.
Apparently, people play it indoors, which is... That's weird.
I watched the whole thing. It was fucking ridiculous.
Played outdoors. It's a beach sport.
It was ridiculous. They were doing the lingo, the flango.
Oh, that was you? The lobster trap. Dude, it it was so ridiculous and then uh and i realized that this hurts the case for lacrosse because it was literally opposite of the pll i still like you paul rabel i said i might even love you but spike ball i could not keep my eyes off it and then it finished that's not lacrosse's fault you know who's worst worst dude ever the oldit? The worst dude ever? The guy who responded and said, dude, this result happened two months ago.
Thanks. Oh, it was a replay? Yeah, thanks.
I wasn't fucking checking up on my spike ball. You ruined the majesty of the finals.
Yeah. God damn it.
Now you just ruined it for me. Now you're the worst person in the world for doing that.
Yeah, yeah, okay, that's fine. Breaking news, Georgia won two months ago.
God damn it. Sucked.
Who the fuck cares? That's why I've been getting my ass kicked in my Spikeball Fantasy League is because I didn't know that the results were two months old. Could you imagine being that guy, though, who actually knows what the results are and then goes online and is like, hey, idiot, this happened two months ago.
Like, he turned it on and was excited. He was like, let's go, Spikeball.
And I was like, oh, I've seen this before've seen this before yeah fuck yeah no he no he probably was there he was probably one of the 50 people that were going absolute bananas for for georgia to win it was the home court was insane like they had a big time edge toughest gym to win in yeah toughest gym by far so shout out georgia i know you didn't make the playoff but you you won the spike ball championship. Anything else? I know that's it.
That's it. Okay.
Okay. My who's back of the week is U.S.
rugby. U.S.
rugby is back. The women won first place in the tournament this weekend.
So they finished the season. You guessed it.
Second. Nice.
And they also were the only team to make the semifinals. The only team to make the semifinals in every tournament this year.
Oh, wow. So second place U.S.
Women's Rugby 7s. Congratulations, U.S.
Rugby is back. Also, my Who's Back of the Week is OJ.
Yes. OJ's back, and this time he's back on Twitter just making videos talking about what he's going to talk about using his Twitter account.
He basically is doing what we wanted Jill to do. Yeah.
He's learning how to joke. He's learning how to use Twitter, except all that he's saying is just when I start to use Twitter, I'm going to go after, I'm going to get even with a lot of people that have been saying some bad shit.
That's what you always want to hear from OJ. Can I also, you know what sucks? Like the, the OJ, the cottage industry that will come off of OJ on Twitter of people being like, fuck OJ and be like, dude, we know he's like, we all agree.
Yeah, it sucks. Like getting the retweets and then the other people who are trolling OJ, like OJ's becoming his own Twitter cottage industry.
And I'm not, I don't care for it. It sucks that the Krasenstein brothers have already been banned from Twitter because they would have some fire replies to OJ.
I told him to suck my dick the other night, but I just wanted to get that off my chest. You wanted to get the read to it.
Do it one time and just tell OJ. Hey, OJ.
When else am I going to have the opportunity to tell Orinthal James Simpson to wrap his lips around my dick and suck it? Did you actually say that? The fake OJ accounts are also back, too. Yeah, the fake OJ accounts.
But you know what I mean, PFT? Like, there's going to lot of people who think, well, also people who think that they're like

a spicy take to be like, I don't like double murderers.

I don't like you, OJ.

Yeah.

Hey, pat me on the back.

I'm not for double murder.

Sir, sir.

Resign the isotoners, sir.

Oh, breaking news.

OJ just tweeted again.

Let's see.

Oh, so you not only follow him, but you have.

No, no.

So you actually are the cottage industry of replying.

No, no.

It just came across. That was the most.
No, it just came across. This literally just happened.
I saw Morty Moorch replied to him. Oh, okay.
Anyway, we'll deal with that. Yeah, we don't need to do this.
OJ during NFL Sunday is going to suck. He sucks already.
Here's a good joke about OJ. Hey, OJ, why wasn't your first tweet? slash slash backslash slash backslash? Nice.
You should tweet that. I should.
I'm not going to. You'll get a lot of retweets.
I'm not. I'm not.
Listen. You're not part of the cottage industry? I'm not going to be trading in OJ retweets because then there's blood on my hands.
There's blood on my fingers. There's going to be a lot of OJ tweets and OJ reply tweets.
And it's just going to fucking. It just makes something that's already kind of sucking even worse.
My last who's back of the week is Pup Punk. So we just announced a show we're playing out in Long Island.
On. We're playing in Long Island.
On. They will be in Long Island.
Attention Long Island. I'm going to be on side you.
Yeah. And that is in late July.
You have to dig a hole. Mulcahy's.
And then get in the hole. I might.
What do you know what? I might do that. Yeah, that's what I'm planning on doing, Hank.
That's what you do when you go to Long Island. So it's going to be on July.
Are you in or on the Milky Way galaxy? We're part of it. You're in it.
Yeah, you're inside of it. Right.
Yeah, we're part of it. So then you're also in Long Island.
No. Long Island is in the Milky Way galaxy.
Wait. Counterpoint.
are we in Earth? Are we on Earth? We're in it. We're in this shit, dude.
We're all in it together when it comes to Long Island. So July 27th at Mulcahy's.
Tickets on sale now. I think there are still a few available.
It's going to be a hell of a show. Hey, everyone, when you think about replying to OJ or telling us how you don't believe double murder is good, Just debate in or on Long Island instead.
That's way more useful. Anti double murder podcast.
Yes, there it is. Now we don't have to talk about him anymore.
All right. My who's back of the week is Aaron Rogers being surly to his coaches.
So what did it take? What's it been like five months? Five months. Less, less, way less than that.
I'm going to just do Matt Floor, by the way. Going to get a little bit shorter there.
Matt Floor, who is injured, who's going around on a golf cart. Poor guy.
He's got Aaron Rodgers already saying that, I don't think you want me to turn it off 11 years. Turn off 11 years.
He's talking about reads at the line of scrimmage. Audibles.
He says, there's stuff that not many people in the league can do at the line. That's not a humble brag.
That's just a fact. Well, that's not a humble brag because that's just a brag, first of all.
That's not what a humble brag is. Being like, I'm awesome at football.
But he's not a humble brag. Yeah, he said it's not a humble brag.
Right. He was right.
Yeah. It's just a brag.
So spot the lie. It's just a brag.
You don't know what humble brag is. But, yeah, this is going to be fun because Aaron Rodgers also seems to be or already seems to be not working with Matt LaFleur.
Trouble impaired. Matt Floor.
Matt Floor. Matt DeFleur.
Matt Floor. Yeah.
No, it's not a great start for Aaron to just go ahead and say this. And training camp hasn't even started yet.
But you know what? You got to plant your flag in the ground sometimes in these relationships maybe that's what happened it listen with aaron rogers and mccarthy he was too nice of a guy yeah and when you're too nice of a guy you get walked over all the time so now it's guess what aaron's gonna stand up for himself finally and say what he thinks about his coaches i'm i'm just so happy because like the the part of me that knows that aaron rogers is going to see everything that happened aaron rogers bad teammate he's to blame for all this stuff that went down last year in green bay i thought we were going to get like the ultimate fuck everyone in the nfl i'm going to be mvp aaron rogers and be like i'm going to buy into whatever matt floor says i'm going soldier, the best teammate, and just, like, rip to shreds all the NFL. Turns out he's probably just going to be a dick still.
Well, I mean, if your coach is in a golf cart on the sidelines, this almost seems like he's taking advantage of his coach, doesn't it? Yeah. The fact that he's hurt.
He is just on the IL, as they say in MLB. Yeah, not the DL.
No, the IL. No, and we'll put that out, or we could have a longer conversation about that if you're comfortable.
Every time I see IL, I just think someone has diarrhea. Just ill? Yeah.
Intestinal. What's going on? They're on the intestinal list.
It's so weird that they did that. Whatever.
Okay, so yeah, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Floor, not off to the best start. And I'm not making like a mountain out of a mohel.
I think Aaron Rodgers hates Matt Floor.

You think so?

Despises him.

I think Aaron Rodgers might have torn his Achilles.

Do you think that Aaron Rodgers is prejudiced

against people with disabilities?

Oh, wow.

And that's why he's going after Matt Floor right now?

And Mike McCarthy?

Yeah, for clinically fat.

Yeah.

By the BMI, I'm also obese. So so I can say that his face got too red uh-huh his eyes were too close together yes he gets he yells at high school basketball games can't control his temper yeah he had too much steam that would come out of his mouth when he would scream um okay let's get to our interviews first up we're gonna have Joe Buck it looked like he was always wearing a smock.
Like the jackets that he would wear would just go like straight down from his belly down to his knees. Yeah, it's the Detroit big cat look.
So we're going to do Joe Buck first. Joe Buck was nice enough to call in basically walking off the course at Pebble Beach.
So he's a busy man. He was working all weekend, and he calls in to talk to us two idiots uh it sounds fine there's a little bit of a glitch here and there that's how you always want to start out by saying hey listen it sounds it's gonna sound fine it does it does all business fine is a fuck that's all i'm gonna say he was on vacation all week and we still are in a studio with with the sound we can hear every ambulance there's no windows phones don't.
We're basically in a tent. Yeah.
So if you have any anger. I saw a pig swimming by down 7th Avenue earlier.
If you have any anger to Joe Buck's perfectly sounding appearance on the show, tweet it, All Business Pete. Let him know how fine it is.
Yeah, it's totally fine. Okay, here hee buck we'll put in the trojan ad that interview was brought to you by trojan condoms that's right we're here to talk sex it's fucking awesome you do it we do it we all do it i'm even pretty good at it i've been told i said a personal best the other night five whole minutes that was actually a line from the ad read it was not five minutes i'd five minutes.
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Okay, we now welcome on the man you listen to all weekend it is joe buck calling us from pebble beach he is the nicest man in the world because he called us like five minutes after the tournament ended so let's start with gary woodland uh do you i have a theory that whatever the best story possible on father's day to happen will happen and that's why gary woodland won yeah it's kind of funny the way that whole thing worked out you know when you consider that he's a guy that has been through what he's been through personally you know his wife gabby uh going through a miscarriage and them having a son jackson who's was born premature but doing great and has come out on tour and been on the 18th green when he's won and now she's pregnant again with twin girls uh it's a great story I can only tell you and I'm not one for for name dropping at least uh six days a week usually five four or five days of the week I name drop but i had so many texts from guys that i know from baseball uh a couple guys that i know from football that know gary woodland and were rooting so hard for the guy he's just a really really good guy kept it was great obviously uh but woodland just played the best of anybody in the week and he won so good for him. Yeah was unbelievable it was a good story to watch did you get the sense that the fans were also uh pulling for him or were they more aligned with Koepka going down the stretch yeah no I felt like I think the fans here you know it was not easy I'm still here obviously a couple and it's not easy getting down here into the area where the actual tournament took place.

I mean, the security is off the charts.

It's like literally doing Super Bowl security every day.

And if you bothered to come in here, I think you were a real golf fan.

And the galleries were massive.

And there was a real groundswell, I think, for a guy who hadn't won he's 35 and as we said it's a great story uh it would have been cool to see brooks kept it if it wasn't gary but as brooks said afterward gary played the best and nobody was going to beat him today and that's what these major championships are all about it was fun to see it um so we're

huge fans of the course in the u.s open we love when the course kicks the shit out of people and

like ian polter cries about and all that stuff were you as disappointed in the course as we were

this week no i see shitty golf uh plenty in my life and friends of mine hacking it around uh

no i i like seeing these guys play well and i realize i'm in the minority a lot of my friends

Thank you. in my life and friends of mine hacking it around.
No, I like seeing these guys play well. And I realize

I'm in the minority. A lot of my friends

are like, oh, I love seeing these guys

free-putting and the greens are

lightening and they can't hold greens

and the rough is high

and the fairways are skinny

and I don't know. I just

like seeing the best play great

and I thought

it was a fair test. I don't think, I just like seeing the best play great, and I thought it was a fair test.

I don't think it has to be ridiculous to have the feeling

that you just saw a hell of a test in the U.S. Open.

It got progressively harder every day,

but there was just nothing they could do,

short of building a dome over this place.

They had a record-setting may

for rainfall the place was uh crazy lush the fairways were holding the greens were receptive and there was no wind and if there's no wind at pebble beach at a 7100 yard golf course they're gonna eat it alive and for the most part these guys ate it alive but if you look back to Tiger Woods' victory back in, was it

2000, right?

At Pebble Beach? 2000, yeah.

Is it fair to say that the course has regressed? No, I think the conditions regressed. And there's just nothing that you can control.
At this time of year, and we ran pieces from 72 when Nick was one. And, you know, it almost lookedish open when tom watson shipped in in 82 and then when you go to the highlights of 2000 you know as easinger likes to say that the greens look like potato chips they were they were not green they were multi-colored they were hard the place was just baked out and for us to be here in the middle of June and to have it just be green everywhere, I don't think anybody expected that, but there was just no way to avoid it.

So if that's the case, you've got small greens. The USDA is tired of hearing about guys complaining about the setup.

There was no course setup complaints.

Everybody was praising how great the place was condition wise for us let me tell you it was like a dream to not have to deal with controversy and wrong girlfriends names and uh everything else that's gone on with these championships it was i love covering these things but every year it's just like something. And this year it was just really good golf.
You invited Jim Nance onto the set. That was a wild move by you.
That would be like us inviting Joe Rogan to come host the podcast with us. Are you a little nervous? It's like he's just going to slide over and be like, Joe, go grab a uh beer or something because i got this yeah i was i was actually gonna joke like hey uh i'm just gonna go grab a coffee and sit around the side i'd rather listen to him do golf than listen to myself do golf uh but you know that being said for him to accept i thought was cool, for CBS to let him come on,

and that was kind of the condition that,

the condition was that it was going to be 10 minutes,

and that's it.

Really, they wanted five minutes,

and had that stipulation not been there,

I would have demanded that he stay and call golf with Azinger,

and I'd jump in every once in a while.

I'll read a promo here or there,

but for the most part,

I'd rather just hear him call the U.S. Open.
I think's the best to set it on the air I believe it those other guys are good friends of mine Hicks and Tirico and what have you but I think he's the best to ever call golf on TV in my lifetime and uh or at least in my adulthood and I I wanted to hear him do golf at Pebble beach.

Of course,

he knows probably better than any broadcaster ever.

Yeah.

And he's got,

he's got that great golf voice that just puts you to sleep.

He has,

I think the best nap voice in America out of any announcer.

Absolutely.

If he was,

if his voice was on my alarm clock,

I'd never get up because he,

he just has that soothing and he's very smart and he remembers everything.

And he knows the history of the game and he's not,

Thank you. on my alarm clock I'd never get up because he just has that soothing and he's very smart and he remembers everything and he knows the history of the game and he's not searching for stuff and I find myself a lot of the times gripping and searching for different things and it's just top of mind for him he's great with names I'm obviously not Jenna Sims jokes aside I'm always you, scrambling for somebody's name.
And it's just, it's like, you know, second nature for him. And so that really serves him.
I think personally better in golf than any other sport. When you can have that kind of top of mind recall, that's what makes him great.
And he's a wordsmith. So good him i i love listening to him i'd rather fall asleep to him calling golf while i lay on the couch than anybody else um all right joe i know you got to go and i appreciate you calling in i was going to to uh tell you all the tweets that said joe buck sucks but i'm not going to do that because i just twitter searched it and it was way too many so i'm not going to do that yeah i know it's just that never gets fucking old i also i also joe we're running out of time let me tell you yeah twitter geniuses just do nothing but uh do nothing but inspire and uh all those guys that are saying that i i would love to see them step in and do 10 minutes put a jersey on put a jersey yeah i like joe i also like listen i know you said you only had 10 minutes and like it's unbelievable that you you called in right after literally right after it ended um so we're gonna let you go i really wanted to congratulate you and talk about the st louis blues but we don't have enough time so um appreciate you calling in that's it's too bad I can't congratulate you on that.
That's okay. My Blues won.

I'm not john ham uh sadly i'm not in the nbc promos but i've been a season ticket holder my whole life and uh well my adult life and that was one of the biggest thrills i've ever had as a fan. It's too bad we can't talk about it.

Too bad we can't discuss it further.

Too bad we can't talk about it.

Yeah, no, well, too bad.

I'm going to keep going.

You just cut me off. So Bennington came up, and that's where the season really started.

This guy says, obligatory Joe Buck sucks tweet.

This guy actually tagged your boss, Fox Sports,

at Fox Sports 1, at Golf on Fox, Joe Buck sucks.

I like this guy. He said, Joe Buck is trending, but I just want everyone to know it's because he sucks.
Oh, man. That was so good.
Joe Buck sucks at his job. He is such a homer.
I'd rather listen to Nails on a Chalkboard than this. Who are you a homer for? Can you be a homer for a golfer? A golf course.
All right, Joe, thank you so much.

Really do appreciate it.

Very nice of you to let us grab you for 10 minutes.

Have fun.

Hopefully, see you soon.

It's been too long.

It has been, yeah.

And I had many people, I swear to you.

I walked from my room down to the booth all week long,

and I had usually at least one a day.

Hey, love you, and pardon my take.

That's great.

There we go.

Thank you. Joe Buck's interview was brought to you by our friends at Mountain Dew.
Mountain Dew. As at Mountain Dew, we say here's to the doers who do it big, then do it bigger.
Grab yourself an ice-cold Mountain Dew today. Do the Dew.
Listen, Caleb, what? What? Hey, dude. There was – All right, I'm going to go off script here for Mountain Dew.

We'll bill you later.

When we found out that we were doing ads with Mountain Dew,

I've never seen anyone happier than Hank.

Hank drinks Mountain Dew all the time.

I do too.

I love the Dew.

I'm a Dewer, but Hank might be the number one Dewer in the world.

I agree. Facts.
It's the best. What's your favorite flavor to do who that's a tough one i original i like red no but no diesel live wire is the absolute goat yeah i like to call it baja blast second but you know only available yeah it's one of those things that you love it so much it's like like the McRib.
When it's there, you have to get it. You have to get it.

If you're at Taco Bell, what are you doing?

That's how I feel about Livewire.

Because Livewire is like it's not available in every single convenience store.

It's only available in some.

So whenever I see it, got to get it.

All right.

So go get your Mountain Dew now.

Be a doer with us.

Also, Caleb was out at the Dew Tour last week.

So we're all big Mountain Dew guys.

We're going to be doing a lot of Mountain Dewing. And I'm excited to do.
Do the Dew. Do the Dew with Mountain Dew.
All right. Here she is, Layla Ali.
And now for something completely different. Okay.
We now welcome on the legend, undefeated boxer, champion, Layla Ali. She's all over the place.
And she's this great thing uh with undeniably dairy let's talk about that first feeding america so i was reading up about it it's a fantastic program because it's basically kids who aren't able to get three square meals a day especially in the summertime when they're not at school you're helping that out and you're making sure that kids you know growing kids get the meals that they need well one in six kids in the summertime when they're not at school, you're helping that out and you're making sure that kids, you know, growing kids get the meals that they need. Well, one in six kids in the U.S.
faces hunger. Okay.
And in the summer months, those numbers rise because kids don't have access to nutritious school lunches. So these are kids that go to school and get their best meal at school.
Obviously no school, no great meal. So Feeding America does amazing work in general just helping families who need to get fed, get fed.
So we're asking people to go to giveagallon.com so that we can raise more money for the food banks that are making sure that kids and families get healthy meals. Yeah, I like it.
That's fantastic. You can probably tell by looking at us we don't miss many meals ourselves.
But it's important that we the people that do. So, yeah.
What was that web address again? Giveagallon.com. I've been working with Feeding America for over 10 years.
And, you know, I'm very passionate about health and wellness. And then, of course, ending childhood hunger.
So I've just been really happy to partner with them and undeniably dairy to make sure the kids get nutritious meals. Yeah.
Including milk. Before we got started here, before the cameras were rolling, you kind of warned us ahead of time you're like hey i might punch you in the face actually let's back up you warned me that you guys are silly you might say some things that might cause you to get punched in the face and i said sure i'll punch you in the face i got a waiver for you i said please do i know we didn't sign those waivers yet though to be knocked out by an ali i would definitely wear that as a body badge i believe i said we're a couple assholes and assholes, and then you said, well, that's fine.
I can handle my business if I have to. Exactly, exactly.
That's how I went. But you also said that it takes a lot to set you off.
It does. So what buttons should we not press or press depending on if we want to get punched? I think that as long as people don't disrespect me, I'm okay.
But in the end of the day, I'm not going to punch anybody. I'm a professional fighter.
It's like I only fight professionals. I'm not a guy.
Hands are weapons. do you have to register your hands i did not okay is that a real thing that happens i don't know i don't know i really don't know to be honest you know i'm gonna register my hands i know if they tell me i can't i know that my insurance costs more really yeah definitely so do you uh you haven't boxed uh you're retired you're retired so do you miss it at all of I absolutely love it.
I think any athlete that did something they loved and, you know, at a certain point you stop, you can't do it forever, you miss it. But, you know, I also love what I'm doing now.
Okay. But I'll always be an athlete.
I still have a bag. I still stay in shape.
I can still go three, four rounds always at any time. You should fight in Rough and Rowdy.
We have a fighting league ourselves. It's three one-minute rounds.
Really? Yeah. Are you fighting that? No want me to national anthem yeah yeah yeah no but so i i wanted to ask you a question about women in sports and like you your boxing career was i feel like very early on for women especially in combat sports and is it crazy to watch now how far that's I mean mean some of these like mma uh ufc cards the headliners are women and it's like you know when you started i think there was a lot of people that were uneasy with two women fighting in a box yeah a lot of people think that i was one of the first female fighters in boxing and i wasn't there were so many before me it just didn't get the exposure right sport has now and it has come a long way especially with the ufc i mean as a whole the ufc and mma has grown it wasn't as big when i was boxing but there are more professional female fighters and i think that women have always been very exciting to watch i know in women's boxing we have two minute rounds opposed to three and you don't have as much time to get the job done so women come in there and just make it happen right so people would really appreciate that and then the UFC um I see the women are really feisty and strong as well so I think that um it doesn't surprise me when I see women because I know what we're capable of but I'm glad that it's been more accepted and women are having more opportunities right and when you were first getting started you got started a little bit late at least according to what I read like about 17 18 that's late for a boxer.
Some started 8, 9, 12. So you were a little late in life entering the ring for the first time.
What was it? I know a lot of fighters, they start fighting, they have a chip on their shoulder, they have like aggression, that sort of thing. But you were late kind of getting into the ring for the first time.
What was the chip on your shoulder that made you want to get into the ring and fight for the first time? I saw women's boxing for the first time on television when I was 17 years old. I saw Christy Martin.
Are you familiar with her? No. No.
Okay. So Christy Martin was one of the first female fighters to get promoted on a major undercard.
She was on Mike Tyson's undercard. Don King was promoting.
So I saw women's boxing for the first time along with many other people. I did not know the women boxed.
I didn't know there was a sport available to me. So as soon as I saw it, I wanted to do it automatically.
And it took me about a year of contemplation because at the time I was, I had my own nail salon. Always been very ambitious.
Always been an entrepreneur. I had a nail salon by the time I was 18 and I was in college and I was living on my own and I saw women's boxing.
I was like, I want to do that. But then of course, you know, the fear and the doubts set in of just kind of living a public life and just was my dad going to think, was everyone going to think, can I do this? I was never even an athlete.
I never participated in sports. Really? I was about 30 pounds overweight.
And it took me a year. And I finally said, you know what, I'm just going to go with my heart and just do it.
And that's when I started. What did your dad say when he said, I'm going to be a boxer too? So I started training kind of in secrecy because I really wanted to see if I had what it took.
Because if it wasn't going to come natural to me, if I wasn't going to be good at it, I wasn't going to do it. Smart.
So I understood what I was getting into. So six months into it, it got around to my dad.
He comes in town, and he's like, I hear you're boxing. And I'm like, yeah, I am, Dad.
And he basically tried to talk me out of it indirectly. He says, well, what are you going to do? I mean, the whole world is going to be watching you and judging you.
What if you get in the ring and you get knocked down? And I was like, well, I'm going just like you did and then he just got more and more frustrated was just like what are you gonna do if you get knocked out and i was like well that's just not gonna happen but if it does i'm gonna ask for a rematch and then he just basically said don't do it it's not for women it's not for you it's too hard it's a man's sport and i said well dad you know what i understand how you feel i respect how you feel but i my decision. So two questions about that.
One is, do you think there was a part of him that didn't want you to do it because of his name and his legacy? And it's like, if you go out and get knocked down, it looks bad on his name? Do you think there was any of that? I think, well, I don't have to think I know now that because, I mean, obviously I'm grown. We've had conversations about it and I see things differently.
But father was in first of all did not believe that women should be boxing right my father's Muslim I'm not he's was a little bit of a male chauvinist in a way just the fact of wearing a sports bra and shorts in the ring it's like getting the ring be bouncing around the ring one two women don't need to be doing it three I'm his youngest baby girl right out of all his kids he didn't want me to get hurt and think of all the blood sweat and tears he went through through his career all of the history of why people love him and you know giving up his belts all that and now i'm saying i want to go to a dirty grimy gym and go fight and spar with men right i want that and of course he did not want to get embarrassed right also yes that had something to do with it so he but back. I'll just tell you this.
I won my titles.

I was doing well.

And he came back and he apologized.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

You can fight.

Women can't fight.

And I love you.

Then he started trying to teach me how to jab.

And I was like, you're a little late.

Yeah, exactly.

I got my belt already.

I'm not a jab.

You want to take credit for that after the fact.

He's like, see, I made it.

Well, now he's like, you're like that boy I never had, like boxing.

You mentioned something there where you said you're not Muslim and he was.

You basically stood up to him when you were a kid saying you didn't want to be religious how'd you know that i read about it oh you did homework but this is now like so twice the boxing and then the religion where you stood up to muhammad ali and correct me if i'm wrong i think your dad probably is a pretty uh sure-headed guy oh yeah who knew exactly what he wanted wasn't going to be told what to do if you look at any of his history.

So how did you change his mind twice?

Not once, but twice on pretty big things.

Boxing and religion.

Two things that are the most important to him.

I got something special that came from my daddy.

Yeah?

So the thing is that I'm just a lot like him.

So he had to respect it and he does respect me.

And my dad and I had probably three big conversations in life and one of them was not being Muslim I remember when I turned 18 and moved out the house and moved in with my boyfriend and tried to judge me for that and I said hold up wait a minute we can talk about some things you've done right he says you're right you know I put him I had to put him in this place then and then with boxing you know when he told me it's something I couldn't do and I just I do a lot of speaking now and that's one of the things I speak about Muhammad Ali telling me not to do something it's not for you if I would have listened to him you know what I mean I would have never went and did what I wanted to do and then he came back and got his mind right and was like I was wrong so that's why I can't listen to others just because he wasn't where he needed to be in his mind it didn't stop me from doing what I needed to do and my father and I have always had a tremendous amount of respect for one another but yeah i'm just like him right that's why he never just said originally don't do it because he was like tried to talk me out of it indirectly so the toughest match he ever had was you well i wouldn't say that i mean i'll tell you what i know i'm getting payback on my daughter sydney because she's doing me the exact same way right now on the ropes every day so my next question is going to be what if she wants to fight I would not like my daughter to fight oh it's going to happen yeah so I would not like my not neither but I know I will never tell my kids not to I am not encouraging them to but at the same time I will support them whatever they want to do you know in life because you have to they're going to want to do it anyway so after you start boxing, you go through a few fights. You do pretty well to get started.
Was there ever a point where you were, like, a little doubtful about whether or not this was going to be your career after a couple fights? Or were you like, you know what, this is what I was meant to do? I was always a fighter. I just wasn't fighting professionally.
So I knew that I had it in me. I knew I had the heart of a fighter.
It's just that, you know, the skill and everything that it takes, because I was I was never an athlete I never had to do that training regimen so once I that's what I'm a very realistic person I know first you have to want to do something you have to see if you can be good at it and if you're going to really want to do the work that it takes everybody wants wants wants but are you going to do the work that it's going to take so I went to the gym and like I said I was training for about six months and I fell in love with it as I was going to school I was going to work in the gym at nine o'clock at night and i looked forward to it so i knew right away that is what i wanted to do yeah the first time you get punched in the face that's how you know did it feel good that's how you know i've seen so many people come into the gym saying they want to be a fighter and they're like okay glove it up and it's you're either gonna turn your back like i want to get out of here or you're gonna get mad and want to knock the heck out of somebody and i was that person that wanted to get mad but i get i had been hit before i told you i i was a fighter outside of the ring yeah what what was it like growing up with your dad i mean your dad was obviously he's the goat and he's probably the biggest legend in all sports which is incredible to say but it probably is the truth probably i mean he i know you're no he's not right right no he is it's incredible to even declare one person that way and the fact that you're like yeah actually it's probably even to be in the running it's insane is incredible right so like was it i mean it had to be a little bit of a mind fuck to grow up with oh we get to cuss oh yeah oh i'm just playing i'm just playing yeah motherfucker oh we're doing like that yeah yeah i am here representing other people okay yeah we'll cuss you fucking kids yeah yeah but that's gotta be a mind fuck to like grow up in a house with you know a living legend it's the only life i know but i will tell you that um you know we had michael jackson and prince and stevie wonder coming to the house all fans of muhammad ali and my father was such an amazing example of someone that just was like at the top, but such a kind, giving, compassionate person. He never looked down on anybody.
He was never tacky. You know, he never flaunted his money in anyone's face.
He just had a lot of character and class. And that's one thing that I respect in people.
And, you didn't matter who he was around he was always the same guy and that's just what i strive to be so that's how i remember my father you know and that's what gives me the pride and knowing like there's just never going to be another muhammad i don't care how good you get in the ring or in whatever sport it is that you do um this is kind of a weird question but the louisville airport's named after him amazing doesn't that kind of suck though because like i always thought when you get an airport sucked to go to like doesn't that suck to be named after an airport an airport named after you yeah like you have to go to an airport it's like oh i gotta travel i gotta go through tsa no i don't think so and then you're motherfucking the airport i don't agree with you i don't know who okay i just asked i don't know who laguardia is but i hate him i hate his guts i hate traveling there it's always like traffic to get out there i think you're thinking too deep into there's a big line i'm just saying like 50 years from now people won't you know they were they're like muhammad ali oh that's the airport they should name like a water park after yeah a water park i'm sure there's a whole lot more to come yeah okay but you know i can't waste my energy worried about that kind of thing i would i'll tell you one thing i had nothing to do with that okay i would I literally waste all my energy worried about that kind of thing. I would.
But I'll tell you one thing. I had nothing to do with that.
Okay. I would literally waste all my energy worried about that.
Name something better after me. I see.
I see. Yeah.
It always bothered me. Every time I go to an airport, I'm like, like JFK.
JFK's so annoying to go through. Have you been that way since you were a kid? What, thinking about airports? Yeah, just like obsessing about things.
About things. Just like letting things like, you know.
Yeah. Yeah, little things.
We've kind of made a career out of letting small things bother us to the point that we get mad at it. I don't worry about things I have no control over.
Yeah. But you do have a control over this.
I don't. Not over that.
You could be like, my dad hated airports. But he didn't.
But it doesn't bother me. We're talking about this way too long.
Listen, my dad, he hated TSA. He thought it was absolute bullshit that he had to pay six dollars for a bottle of water when he went to the airport.
He doesn't want to be named after an airport. Oh, Lord.
Lord, Jesus. I'm just making a lot of sense.
Yeah, a lot of sense. I heard a story that you saved Hulk Hogan's life.
Is that true? That is true. You know, because I know it's true.
Thank you. Are you a partial owner of Gawker Media? No, I am not.
You know, and I feel like I need to, I deserve something, a check or something. I'm just playing.
No, you know, I found out the same way everyone else found out. He said something in an interview.
He never had called me and told me because we hosted American Gladiators together. And then he told this story.
And then people called me and was like, I heard you. Can you come on and talk about how you say it? I was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, wow, I wish he would have called me and told me that.
But apparently he was going through something and something big. And I called him and had a conversation.
Something I said to him, you know, it was divine intervention. So it was a circumstance of you just happened to call him at a time when he was going through something bad? I happened to call him and I said some words that helped him.
I invited him to, I think, my church at the time. And he started going there.
And it was what he needed at the time. So like I said, I don't feel like I can take credit for it.
But that's how he felt about it. And I just feel like it was divine intervention.
It wasn't like I was just like, hey, man, what time are you going to be at work tomorrow? We must have had some sort of a conversation that made him change his mind. So he says.
That's a lesson for everybody. No matter what interaction you're having, you might be saving somebody's life.
I might have saved several lives today. Yeah, that's true.
I'm going to take credit for those. We might have saved your life.
I don't think so. I think guys saved your life right now.
I would have just been like, hey, there's so many hokomaniacs out there that are rooting for you. Eat your vitamins.
I can't keep up with you guys right now. I can't keep up with that.
I'm sorry. I got nothing for you.
I'm not even going to try to have a comeback. You might have been starting You might have been starting to get sick and now you're laughing and we just cured it.
Wait, PFT. I might have if I didn't come here.
I could have crossed the street going somewhere else and got hit by a car. That's right.
Hold on. Saved your life twice.
Hold on. Do you see what just happened? We saved your life.
No. We just beat the woman that beat Muhammad Ali.
We're the champ. If you want to see it that way.
We are the champ. If that was your goal to make me say something like that, then you won.
Your father mentally couldn't handle you. You mentally can't handle us.
We are the champ if you see if that was your goal if that was your goal to make me say something like that you mentally your father mentally couldn't handle you you mentally can't handle us we are the champ i gotta let some people win at something because i'm winning at everything else everything so what's next for you like what's the next part of your career i just well i released a cookbook okay life i've been cooking since i was nine years old so my cookbook came out in 2018 i a couple days ago, released my organic spice blends, which I'm super excited about. People can go to shop.laylali.com to check them out.
I have a nutrition line. So I'm really into encouraging people to be the best they can absolutely be and make healthy lifestyle choices through the food that they eat.
Okay. Because that's why I'm working with Feeding America and, you know, Undeniably Dairy.
I truly believe that we can change the world through the food that we eat.

Because food is killing a lot of people, too, in terms of heart disease and obesity and diabetes and chronic illness.

So I try to teach people that they can take control of their health.

I like the way you're going at it, too, because a lot of times healthy food just doesn't taste very good.

But you've got a spice line.

So you're like, hey, you can eat all this stuff that tastes bad if you dump enough of my good-tasting product on it.

If you want to see it that way, because I know you see things a special kind of way, guys.

I'm it. What's your, if I, if it makes shit taste good.
It can do that. It's that good that it can make shit taste good.
What if you invite us over for dinner, which I assume you will at some point, what is like the, what's the number one Leila Ali meal that you like to cook? Well, you always have to know who you're having over for dinner. i assume you will at some point what is like the what's the number one leilali uh meal that you like to cook well you always have to know who you're having over for dinner i like it's us oh you do okay no but i'm just saying what they like because you know you do okay so what would i make for you if i knew you liked everything i probably would make my oven fried chicken wings because those are a killer and then i have different dipping sauces i like to make fresh salads but i have fresh salad dressing no no no hold up you gotta have some green then I have different dipping sauces.
I like to make fresh salads, but I have fresh salad dressing. No, no, no, no.
Hold up. You got to have some green.
Because I am who I am. Like tuna salad.
I am who I am. Don't be offended when I don't eat it.
That's okay, but I'm going to put some on your plate. Okay.
Okay, and you're going to be a nice guest and take a couple bites. You're going to be like, that's the best salad I ever had in the world.
So what do you like? What do you like? Do you like pasta? No, the wings. We're sold on the wings.
The wings? We're sold on the wings. Oh, and the dipping sauces? Yes.
Okay, yeah. So I'm going to make you some French fries, but I'm going to oven bake them.
Perfect. And they're going to taste like the crispy.
Perfect. So I'm going to make you the foods that you like.
But just a little healthier. A healthier way, but you're not going to even know it's healthy.
So what time's dinner? You know, I live in L.A. We'll be there.
So next time you're in L.A. Okay.
Okay. Perfect.
Okay. So we'll connect.
Are you going to get my spices? Yeah, I'll buy your spices. Okay, if you don't cook, does your wife and your girlfriend cook? Who cooks? You order out? We live in New York.
We order every single meal. That's the wonderful thing about spices because you can just sprinkle it on no matter what it is you eat, even if you don't cook.
McDonald's? My seasoning salt is the bomb. I have a very Caucasian cooking method.
I just boil chicken. So you really need some flavor.
I don't season it at all. You really need some flavor.
You didn't even have to say that. I already knew it.
I like mayonnaise. So you said Caucasian cooking method.
I know where you're going with it. Boiled chicken with mayonnaise.
Mayo. Oh, yeah.
Big mayo, boys. We're big mayo, boys.
You need my soul for seasoning. I like to do a little fruit roll-up where I just take the chicken and I roll it in mayonnaise.
Disgusting. You're joking.
No, it's like a ho-ho, except it's just it's just white meat eggs and vinegar oh so good um all right well thank you for your time i appreciate you having me on it's been fun yes you guys did not offend me okay nobody's getting knocked out so that's the good news because you got so many listeners i want to make sure they can continue listening feeding america check it out yes yes it's actually it's a great great cause bunch of kids that were helping out. What was the URL again? Let's shout it out one more time.
Giveagallon.com. Giveagallon.com.
We had a phase where we just chugged milk. We could do something like that and maybe have people donate again.
Okay. Let's make it happen.
Oh, bring back the milk, boys? Yeah. Come on.
Let's do it. Yeah.
We just drank milk and then did activities. Yeah.
It wasn't a great idea. It wasn't very deep.
It wasn't a deep thought out concept. Turns out people like to watch us throw up.
Well, maybe we don't have to do milk because, you know, when you're saying dairy, we're talking about yogurt. We're talking about cheese.
We're talking about ice cream. Yes.
We're talking about potassium, calcium, protein, all those things you need. Custard.
Yeah. What's the difference between custard and ice cream? Custard is much heavier.
Yeah. That's what I like.
That's what I like. I'm a big custard fan.
Yeah, the heavy stuff. All right.
The diesel. I like the diesel.
I like ice cream diesel. All right, Layla Ali, thank you so much.
We appreciate your time. Thank you so much.
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And first up, Mount Rushmore season. Let's go.
The best time of year. So if you are a new listener, every summer, as soon as the NBA season ends, we start Mount Rushmore season.
What is Mount Rushmore season? Well, every radio show in all of America, they run out of things to talk about in the summer. So they do Mount Rushmore season, and they'll be like, oh, who's on the Mount Rushmore? Cincinnati athletes or whatever the fuck it may be.
I want to stress that this is totally different from power ranking.

Your top fours.

It's totally different from doing a fantasy draft of your top four things.

This is Mount Rushmore.

This is what would appear on a Mount Rushmore of each specific topic.

And so when we first started it back in 2016, we did it as a joke.

I think our first Mount Rushmore is Mount Rushmore of Seasons. Yeah.
There's only four of them. Get the joke.
But then we started doing it, and we turned out that we just, like, parodied ourself into just being the sports radio people. So we do it every summer, and we take it very seriously.
But before we start, I want to say, guys, I think couple seasons we've let it get away from us i think we need to just have like a mini gentleman's agreement that this is like let's pretend maybe a little less tackle football a little more croquet yeah hand up i let it get personal at times i think you let it get personal well i won so hank let it get personal hank won no you won h. Hank let it get personal.
Hank won. No, you won, Hank, and I won.
A lot. Yeah.
You know what I say? This year, let's not do polls. Let's not do votes for who won.
Boo. I think we have to do polls, but I think we just need to be.
Then you pander. It leads to pandering Hank, who just panders towards...
Well, now you just got personal. No, I'm just saying.
I'm trying to avoid it. Is giving good answers pandering? You know exactly what pandering Hank.
We just got personal. No, I literally do not.
We haven't even started. We're personal.
Pandering, Hank. Fuck.
Sounds like someone just couldn't handle losing. But I guess it does.
All his Spongebob references. Okay.
All right. We'll figure it out.
Let's just be nice. Let's just be nice.
Me and my Spongebob. Yeah.
Let's start. Hank, why don't you start? Let's all get.
We should just get trophies for each other. Yeah, okay.
Good job. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So, Hank, why don't you start? Three times. PFT, you go second.
I'll go third. It's just dad moves.
So, on our Father's Day, it is dad moves. We'll go snake draft style.
Yeah, snake draft style, dad moves. Mowing the lawn.
There you go. That's a great one.
Great answer. I love it, Hank.
PFT, you go. Hank you go that was a really good first one yes uh i would say cleaning up the house 30 minutes before your mom gets back after she's been out of town for a few days that's a good dad move loading up that dishwasher running the vacuum across one spot in the living room yeah making up her bed that whole thing like yeah that's it maybe maybe grabbing like the chips chips and sealing them, but not sealing them with a clip.
Just rolling them up real quick. I was going to say throwing away all the half-eaten bags of chips and acting like you didn't just eat chips the entire time that your wife was gone.
That's a big-time dad move. All right, I got two.
I'm going to go with always messing with the thermostat or getting mad at people who do mess with the thermostat. Every dad knows exactly what temperature he wants it at all times.
If it's the winter, he's not going to let the heat run the whole time. He's like, hey, put on a sweatshirt.
Well, especially if you have like a wood burning stove or a fireplace. He's like, hey, you're throwing money away if you turn up the heat.
Tough shit. And if it's the summer, hey, if you want to get cool, go to the pool that kind of thing like go down go down the street go to the community pool but we're not going to run the ac all day yeah listen son you can just open up the windows on both sides you get a great cross breeze through the house yeah it's the same thing as having ac on it has to be like 97 degrees and 100 humidity for the dad to be like you know what we'll turn on the ac i didn't even have ac in my house AC in my house.
I just bought industrial-sized fans. Yeah, I had the window units.
My dad's a big cross breeze guy. Cross breeze is better than the AC.
Hey, it's 88. No, it's fine.
If you just get the wind blowing. Just turn the fan on and sit directly in front of it.
Go into the basement where it's wet and moldy. Lay down on the basement floor next to the dog that's panting um okay my other one is naps dads know how to nap anywhere anytime i feel like a dad like the minute he sits on a couch on a chair i'm not even talking about like the master's nap i'm talking about like if your dad comes over and he sits down on your couch and you're like getting ready to go to dinner.
He'll use those 10 minutes to get a little shut eye. Just a quick shut eye.
Bubba actually has a little bit of dad in him. He can fall asleep just about anywhere.
All these things are happening to me, though, which makes sense. We're about to be a dad, but I can notice him a lot more.
It's like your body is nesting. Yeah.
Like your body just knows. I used to take when I was in like my 20s, I used to take like a like a three hour nap on a Saturday when I was hung over.
Now I take no joke, like six, eight minute naps on a Saturday. It's the worst.
You know what? I did that literally the Saturday. I just like for eight minutes.
I'd fall asleep. I was like, whoa, what time is it? Oh, it's only been eight minutes.
And then an hour go by and just take another eight minute nap yeah i actually time my naps by uh opening up twitter and seeing how long ago my last refresh was and i was like oh yeah i felt like i was just asleep for 30 minutes turns out it was five that that will be the opening of true life i'm addicted to twitter pft yes absolutely uh my second pick is going to be i'm gonna go with uh owning two pairs exact same shoes. Oh, that's a big one.
My dad used to buy every, like what? I like it. I like my shoes.
Yeah. You find a shoe that works for you.
Why would you ever want to? Listen, there's like eight years in a row where my dad wore the exact same shoes. And as you get older, you have like back tendencies that pop up.
So you find the ones that you like that mold themselves to your foot. And then there's like a breaking in period where you switch to the second pair and you're like i gotta break these ones in yes uh and also you could switch up use like what hank was saying one of these pairs is for mowing the lawn and the other is for walking around the house my house oh no the the best is when the dad when your dad gets the multiple pairs of the same shoe and they're all in different states so there there's like the nice clean ones that are aware if you like have to go out in public.

But he still has his old shoes.

They're just in a different part of the rotation where then he has the one pair that it's like that literally is just for like cleaning out the fucking sump pump or whatever.

Yeah.

It's usually located in the garage.

Something blows up in your basement.

He'll put on those last pair of shoes he's had eight years ago. He's got the formal.
Then he's got the ones that he wears down to the Y if he wants to shoot around. Yeah.
All right, Hank, you got two. My first one will be like peeing outside of the house, even though there's bathroom right indoors.
I do that all the time. Yes.
Yes. Yes.
It's a great... It feels way better to pee outside than anyone else.
Oh, yeah. Human beings were not designed to pee inside.
Yeah. I will pee like 10 feet away from a bathroom, but just make sure it's outside.
And then my other one, I will say like if you say like, hey, I'm tired, and then the dad will be like, I'm dad. Nice to meet you.
You mean like, hey, tired, I'm dad. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one.
Like I'm hungry. That's a good one.
Hey, hungry, nice to meet you. Yeah, to meet you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Or he'll say like, you know, like, oh, that mister was my dad's name.
You can call me. And then that just dad jokes in general.
You want to take dad jokes? I don't want to do that. You guys are the ones you can.
No, I think that's it. You got it.
Dad joke. I feel bad taking another dad joke.
Yeah. That's it's dad jokes.
It's the like the puns, the funny signs that they see just whatever you can think of dad jokes and then if they nail it it will make their day forever like they because you know i'm assuming you guys most people are have the same like family structure where everyone reaches a certain age where the dad just becomes the butt of the joke for the whole family unit and it sucks sucks because it's like once everyone gets past 15, the dad just gets fucking roasted. It's just a dad roast every time you're together.
But when he gets that one in, it's like, holy shit, he got it. He takes his lap.
It's like a fucking walk-off. It's Joe Carter hitting the home run of the World Series.
There's a sweet spot between the age of 9 and I want to say 15 or 16 where the dad is king of that family. He's Bernie Mac.
Yeah. The kids are old enough where you can fuck with them a little bit and make fun of them and play all these little dad pranks on them.
Yeah, and the jokes are funny. And you reign supreme.
Superior athlete. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. He'll fucking box you down.
He'll bring you down to the post. He'll put up on you.
After you lose and horse to your son. At that point, it's just nature.
It's a show. Yeah, it's like the lion just choking out the adult line and the pride belongs to him now.
God damn it. It's so true.
I still have every dad. Every everyone who's listening to this, whether you are yourself a dad or obviously if you have like a family with your you're close with your dad, you just know your dad just becomes the butt of every joke.
OK, my next one is going to be beer fridge. Wait.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Hank did, too. You almost got lost.
Beer fridge. Beer fridge.
Fridge that's dedicated to beer. Maybe he's into micro brewing for a little bit or maybe he has a side project where he got like a little Sankey sized kegerator that you can use

to pour your craft beer out of

through the wall tap

some refrigerating unit that is dedicated

solely to his choice of beer

I like that I like that one

and the thing is he doesn't drink that much beer

he'll have like two beers on a Friday night and then

fall asleep but that's still his fridge

and don't you touch it

unless your mother's out of town then we don't tell her when she gets back

party on

I have two here to round myself out um confidence dancing every dad they reach a point where they're confident in dancing at weddings or whatever it may be and they're so bad but they don't like you know how like if i go to a wedding i don't dance because i know i at dancing. But then you see a dad who's cutting it up, and he's terrible.
But if you ask them after, he'd be like, I fucking owned that dance floor. There's something that happens with dads where they just, like, flip a switch.
They don't care about being embarrassed. And then they just own a dance floor or any kind of social setting where they're terrible at it, but they think they're, like, the best dancer ever.
I of the great part of getting old yeah it's just like you stop giving me shit what anybody else thinks yeah they get the tie around their their forehead and they're like doing the whole thing and you know they really can only move their arms they can't move their hips whatsoever yeah but they're like i crush that dance floor yep um all right my last one would be manning the grill every dad that's like the sacred place like i want to man the grill, don't touch the would be manning the grill. Every dad.
That's like the sacred place.

Like I want to man the grill.

Don't touch the grill.

Talking about the grill.

Asking everyone, is your meat good?

Do you need me to put it back on for a minute on the grill?

Just the grill and everything that comes around it.

It becomes like the most sacred place for a dad.

Talk about grill specs with a neighbor.

Everything.

Yeah.

So a dad will see like a neighbor get a grill, a new grill. And then the dad then has to acquire a grill with similar specs, but he can't get the exact same one because then he's a copycat.
Yeah. So he goes and he gets the one that's got.
Yeah. Okay.
So I've got the 14,000 BTU burners. I got four of them set up, but I also got the side burner in case I want to get a pot of beans going at the same time.
And everyone works for dad when he's on the grill on the grill like hey can you grab me a plate for the burgers like you you become the wait staff he does the thing the clicking with the tongs clicking the tongs like oh you want this you what you want cheese on your burger you want this like he is basically like the the head chef and he owns the world when he's on the grill it's his domain and he's usually just cooking like frozen hamburgers yeah pretty much like just the costco stack of frozen hamburgers and a few hot dogs a couple hot dogs like he just but he turns into gordon ramsey yes exactly all right okay uh my last one i'm gonna go with owning a pair of transition lenses i don't think that you're legally allowed to wear transition lenses until you can prove that you have a child. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because they are patently ridiculous, but they are the most dad thing in the world, and that's practical. Yes.
They're the most practical set of eyewear that you can ever purchase. They change when you go into it.
You don't have to fuddle around with, like, taking off a pair of sunglasses, getting indoors, putting on your bifocals. You just wear the same pair all day long.
Yeah. To go with your shoes.
When my dad started to lose his eyesight he he just wouldn't like he couldn't come to grips with it so he kept on buying like over-the-counter eyeglasses at different strengths until he had like 60 pairs of eyeglasses and he would just like mix and match like oh this is my like four feet from my face this is my four and a half feet from my face like dude you just can't see I've had a ball game. I wear these.
Yeah, right. Binoculars.
You just can't see. Maybe I'll just start rocking transition lenses.
Maybe that's how I'll get out of the sunglasses game eventually. There we go.
Hank, your last pick. My last one, I will go with making the same meal every time mom is gone.
Yes, yes. My dad would just make spaghetti.
Yes, yes. But then they...

Mom's not here.

What's for dinner tonight?

Spaghetti.

Maybe pancakes.

They put the word famous in front of it, though.

It's like, time for dad's famous waffles.

And it's a fucking Eggo.

Yeah.

Time for dad...

Yeah, you want your dad's famous oatmeal?

Yeah.

Fucking oatmeal.

Yeah, it's an Eggo waffle.

It's dad's famous waffle, but it's just got a little bit of peanut butter smeared on it.

That's good, Hank.

That's really good.

All right, any ones that we missed? Is that not pandering? No, you didn't pandering. No, that was great.
I thought everybody did a wonderful job. We all killed it.
Anything we missed? I was going to say cereal, eating cereal at night. Yeah.
Yeah. Breakfast for dinner when mom's at.
That's another one. Forgetting names, like not learning new names after a certain point.
I actually was, my dad was here this weekend. We were watching the and the Cubs.
And he asked me how Raul Mondesi was doing for the Reds.

And I knew he was talking about Yasiel Puig.

And I was just like, Raul Mondesi hasn't played an MLB since 2005.

It's like, but that's the thing. Like at some point when your dad, you're like, I'm not learning new names.

Yeah.

Like asking, asking about friends.

You have been friends with him like 10 years.

Yeah.

Like, oh, like, how's Joe? It's like, I don't know. We're on the same Little League team.
But those are the names he knew. So he's like, I know names.
I was going to say, going to a store and getting mad and trying to exchange or trying to get a refund on part of your product because you missed a sale by like a couple days. Right.
When you bought the product two days later, you're sale yeah i need to get this 20 back that i would have saved had i bought it two days later buying too many cornflakes because you tricked me buying too many cornflakes and then making your son pft cornflakes every single morning for three years did i ever tell you guys about the checks mix story no go ahead here's another one all right so uh my dad found a deal where you could get uh the wizards and the capitals were having oh you did you did tell them yeah you went to you got tickets right yeah we're having such a shitty attendance here yeah they had a deal where like if you bought a bag of checks mix they just gave you a free ticket to go to a wizard's game my dad came home with like 25 bags of checks mix he was like you can invite 25 of your friends to come watch the wizards i was like first of all i don't know if i have 25 friends right secondly i definitely don't have 25 friends that want to go to a wizards game on a school night right and how are we going to get them all that and how are we going to get them there because because they closed down the metro yeah and then other fucking parents have to drive their shitty kids to the exactly uh so that was bad yeah but shout out all the dads out there uh oh here's a happy father's day having one year where you try to grow a mustache yeah every dad has that period yeah my dad had a mustache for like 20 years yeah yeah yeah you gotta every dad's gotta have a mustache at some point but yeah shout out all the dads out there i'm sure there's a lot of dads that listen to the show so if you're a dad who listens to the show actually no if your dad listens to this show i assume he doesn't have twitter get a couple texts and and tweet it at us we'd love to see some ones that we missed from like the og dads like talking 55 and up dads get your dad to text you some of the things we missed and we will retweet the best ones here's another one wearing wearing carpenter shorts like jean denim shorts that loop in them. Pockets.
Even though your dad hasn't done a day's worth of home improvements in his life. Yeah.
Oh, holding all the tickets. Yep.
That's a big dad thing. Like plane tickets, game tickets, whatever.
He's got to have them all. And he's just like at every chance like, oh, here you go.
And then he feels like the kingmaker passing out all those tickets. Yep.
All right. Yeah.
We'll post this, the graphic, and tweet us the ones we missed. And definitely get your dad to respond via text if he's a listener.
We'd love to hear from the OG dads. I'm really glad Mount Rushmore season's back.
That was nice. It's great.
Here's another dad move. Hiring your shitty son to be part of your NFL coaching staff.
Yeah. That's another big time.
That's a good one, too. Classic dad move.
That's a good one, too. Okay, before we get to Monday reading and wrap up the show, we have to connect the dots real quick.
So the Raptors do, in fact, have a parade, correct? They are having a parade. I think it's today.
As you're listening to this, as the crow flies, Toronto is going to be having a parade. It's going to be the most polite parade in probably a single file line.
Everyone applauding at appropriate tones. But New Balance Canada tweeted out this little nugget.
He said, if you're attending the parade tomorrow, look for New Balance Street team along the route and turn on airdrop to receive a special message from the fun guy himself. Pass it on.
So Kawhi Leonard is going to be airdropping things to people along the route. I'm trying to figure out what it would be.
Nudes? Draymond would do nudes. No, it's going to be like Kawhi emoji.
Something that's. Oh, Kawhi bitmojis.
They're dropping a Kawhi bitmoji tomorrow. With like a champ.
And it's just going to be Kawhi just standing with his hands on his hips. Yeah.
For every emoji. Maybe like.
Yeah. And a championship trophy.
They're going to, whatever it is, they're going to think it's fun and it's not going to be fun. Yes.
It's him beer bonging a bunch of room temperature water. Did you see the video of him in Vegas? I actually feel bad for Kawhi at this point because it's one of those jokes that everyone on the internet has made.
So he can't do anything to disprove what we think he's doing at that moment. Like if you just show me a picture of Kawhi, if you take a video of him, you're just gonna be like, oh, that guy's not having any fun.
He's a robot. He just wants to play basketball.
There's nothing he can do at this point to be like, oh my God, Kawhi's coming out of his shell. The brand is very strong.
It's so strong. So I kind of feel bad.
Like he was just a Vegas cabana, and someone took a video of him, and he was just sitting there. He was looking at a girl.
And everyone was like, look at Kawhi. He's miserable.
He just wants to be playing basketball. He's a classic Kawhi looking at an attractive girl in a swimsuit.
Like, I don't know, man. I think he probably is just sitting there, because if you sit in a Vegas cabana, there's probably going to be moments where you're just sitting there.
Yeah, and if somebody takes a video of me just out of context anywhere in like Las Vegas right you could probably find five seconds of me doing a very kawaii thing right even the Serge Ibaka video where kawaii was sitting next to him in the car it was a completely normal thing and everyone's like man kawaii's so not fun yeah like I don't know dude he seems okay I think I think the smart money is on a new kawaii series bitmojis coming out. Let's be nice to Kauai.

I think Kauai is more fun than the internet collectively has put on him.

Agreed.

The pendulum is going to swing.

He is named after the best island in Hawaii, which is cool.

Spell different.

Spell different.

That's fine.

Yes, I agree.

That's the one that would get nuked first.

That's the one that had the fake thing where they're like, hey, you guys are all going die that's still and they fired that was funny they fired that uh the person that accidentally sent it out um okay let's do our monday reading wrap up the show so this one comes randomly uh someone tweeted this i don't have his twitter handle but thank you to the person who tweeted at us you know who you are it is titled it's a post on reddit says uh what is tifu today i fucked up today i fucked up why don't you just write that okay shorthand today i fucked up by eating bugs my entire life and having a spider bite the inside of my mouth okay relatable all right so here we go okay so you know some people have dark dark dark secrets some people. Some people pick their nose.
Some people pick it and eat it. Well, first of all, everyone picks their nose.
Some people eat shit. Yeah.
Some. Okay.
Some might. Interestingly, you didn't respond right away there.
Some because it spot the lie. Would you say that's interesting, Hank? When I said some people eat shit and PFT didn't immediately jump in and say, what? It was a bet.
Spot the lie. Some people have eaten shit.
Some people do really strange things. Well, I like to eat live bugs.
Nobody in my life knows this. I just like the way some of them are soft and taste quite gummy.
I like how some are crunchy and almost explode in your mouth when you bite down. This guy clearly has never had gushers.
You can solve that right away. But it's not the same because you get the legs.
Okay. You're right.
Yeah, you're right. It's not exactly the same.
I started eating bugs when I was a kid. I started with ladybugs.
I just kept eating them. They secrete some bitter liquid, which had a really nice acquired taste.
I went from ladybugs to other bugs. All right, real quick.
I want to interrupt you because they said it was an acquired taste, but I can't see a world where you keep pushing through the first five or six times of eating a ladybug that suck. And you're like, eventually, it's going to be like asparagus.
I'll go into it. So I know they're good for me.
Yeah. The first ladybug that secretes the bitter liquid.
Yeah. That's where I'm out.
First one, you're out. Yeah.
I went from ladybugs to bugs. Wood lice were my second, and they were crunchy and easy to find.
Whom's amongst us? They also felt nice to eat when they're in their ball state, a bit like cereal. Was this written by a bear? It feels like it was, yeah.
It's like, I moved on to wood lice. I could find them under the big log when the winter thawed out.
This is like a fox. Like, yeah, I would forage for them.

A bear wrote this.

If you dig a shallow hole, you can find all sorts of tasty grubs.

Okay.

This is like Timon and Pumbaa.

Yeah, pretty much.

The taste isn't really the thing I like most of the time.

It's the texture, how it feels in my mouth.

I love to eat them to this day.

I went on to other insects as I got older.

It's good that his palate is expanding.

Well, you got to keep chasing the dragon. like getting that first that first taste

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the the the the the getting that first taste the first time you ate a ladybug, you have to keep chasing that and find grosser and grosser things to eat. Right.
I started eating spiders. In the UK, there are some spiders which move out at certain times of the year which can get big.
I think it's called the brown spider or wolf spider. Those things fucking dude you're eating spiders those things are the size of a small crab jesus christ when they squirm oh my god when they squirm when biting down it almost adds to the texture and the liquid that comes out is really creamy and good to eat the legs are the problem though as they get stuck in your teeth this is so fun this has got to fake this is gotta be Eli Manning that this has gotta be fake today I ate one of those spindly spiders the daddy long leg ones I saw some in the corner of my room minding their own business in their web that's just impractical do you know how many daddy long legs you'd have to eat to get full probably like well he's eating it for the texture mind you you could probably eat a hundred daddy long legs and still feel like you haven't really had it's like one moth stick a moth was stuck in the web moths are disgusting they're like eating a spoon of flour wow everyone knows that damn that's i didn't know there was a line but i guess moths are where he draws the line they've got the powder yeah on the wings it makes it hard to digest i put the spider in my mouth and proceeded to chew, before I got my bite in to kill it, I think it bit me somehow on my tongue or something.
The worst burning sensation I have ever had happened at that moment. It was like my mouth was on fire, but not in a good way like spice.
First, my tongue was burning and it spread to my jaw. And eventually I felt like my brain was going to come out.
Bro, it was a poisonous spider. My tongue has a strange bumpy bit on on it now and i don't know if i should see a doctor or not dude you got spider herpes even if i did see the doctor how the fuck do i tell him how it happened i would not i would not go see the doctor i think you're you're probably first in line to get some sort of superpower after this this is one of those moments where like we all love the internet right the internet has become this thing that is endless entertainment and go down these rabbit holes but here's what also happens with the internet you have people who have been eating bugs their entire life think that they need to share their story with the internet like they're if you go back 20 years i'm sure there was a bug eating dude in the uk eating his wolf spiders and being like gross not moss and and scurrying around looking for wood lice but he was just there minding his own business and no one ever had to know about him now we know about him and i feel like 0.01 percent less confident that humanity will continue you know what though it like everybody that reads this, that reads about the dude that eats bugs, there is going to be a very small percentage of people that will try it for the first time and really enjoy it.
Yeah. So it's actually spreading it out.
What do you think is going to happen to the ecosystem? I was going to say these bugs are going to be getting eaten. I was going to say it's probably better for the planet to for people to get their sources of protein from bugs than from big ass cow farms right that's why people keep telling me that crickets are the food of the future yeah but what i'm not going to participate in it but i i acknowledge that it could be watch this dude just like kills off the the uk population of toads because they're like oh all of a sudden they just don't have any fucking spiders to eat i assume that's what toads eat so it's probably eat a fair amount of grubs and creepy crawlies.
So now this guy, this fucking idiot who's sitting there probably with like a half eaten bag of Fritos next to his bed is eating all the spiders. And little toady down there down the street can't get his protein up.
So he's contributing to the extinction of other species. Correct.
And then because the toad population goes down. Yeah.
aren't going to be any princesses getting married in a couple years. Exactly.
So now we're all fucked. Yeah.
Great. Good.
Angela Merkel's... Wait, that's not her name.
Meghan Markle is the last princess. No, Angela Merkel.
Angela Merkel of Germany. The princess of Scotland is the last person who will get married in the royal family because this motherfucker killed all the toads.
God damn it. This world sucks.
All right. That's our show.
Mount Rushmore season continues. We'll see everyone Wednesday.
Love you guys. Don't get away.
I don't know what I say. I say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you. Take me Take me Take me Take me Take me Take me Take me I'll be Take me Without you I'm a silhouette Take me Take me me.
Don't need me. Don't need me.
Now you are the silhouette. Have you seen? Breathe in love.
Just a little bit of a green light. You're all in love.
I'm a child. I'm a human being.
Thank you. Take my side.
Thank you.