Raptors Win The Title, Blues Win The Cup, And Rose Lavelle From The USWNT

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 we have two championships to recap. Two, two championships, back-to-back nights.
We have crowned the NHL and the NBA champion.

Speaker 3 We personally have crowned them.

Speaker 1 We personally have crowned them. And we have

Speaker 1 U.S. Women's National Team star Rose Lavelle.
When's the next game?

Speaker 3 That would be Sunday at noon, I believe.

Speaker 1 So we have Rose Lavelle. Talk to her about playing for the U.S.
women's national team World Cup Fever Catch It Fire Fest of the Week. And of course, license to Jill.
Jilly Football is back.

Speaker 1 She tells us what she's not mad but disappointed in. It's a Pact Friday show.
I don't think we've ever had two championships in one show.

Speaker 3 I don't think we have either.

Speaker 1 So here we go. We're breaking history on today's part of my team.

Speaker 4 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, we're gonna ride down to Elite Track Avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna ride down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now and get $5 to ASPCA using code Barstool.
Today is Friday, June 14th, and the Toronto Toronto Raptors are NBA champions.

Speaker 3 I think we can actually say world champions for the first time because they are Canadian.

Speaker 1 They have stolen our trophy.

Speaker 3 It'd be a real shame if the Larry O'Brien trophy got held up in customs.

Speaker 1 Man, so we're going to get to the Stanley Cup final. Don't worry, I'm sure Blues fans who are like, Why haven't you talked about that? Well, guess what? We're going from chronological order backwards.

Speaker 1 So, we're starting with what we watched most recently. The NBA finals have concluded.
It was a wild, weird,

Speaker 1 so random NBA Finals with all the injuries, the Raptors being in it to begin with. I don't know where you want to start.

Speaker 3 I mean, let's start. I think the big story, and people are Canadian listeners will be upset, but I think if you want to tell the story of this series, you have to talk about the injuries first.
Okay.

Speaker 3 And it kind of sucks because it was a major storyline, obviously, Kevin Durant being out, and then Clay Thompson with the MCL willing himself back on to take his free throws.

Speaker 3 And then he went to the locker room, had a little little Colt McCoy father-son moment, and they said, We're not going to let you play.

Speaker 1 Probably the Warriors staff. Probably

Speaker 3 at the right call. They didn't want to fuck another thing up.

Speaker 1 They were like, Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 3 They got down to the point where

Speaker 3 their best player out on the court, their most reliable finals player besides Teth Curry,

Speaker 3 was Sean Livingston, and we know about his iron knees.

Speaker 1 I'd say Draymond Green.

Speaker 3 We know that his knees are just

Speaker 1 Boogie Cousins.

Speaker 1 Speaking of,

Speaker 1 speaking of. That was just a Sean Livingston knee jump.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but speaking of AI, Iggy, and

Speaker 3 of Draymond, they, when they were shooting their three-pointers tonight, they looked like they would rather be anywhere else.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, they can't shoot anymore. So, all right, so I want to, if we're going to talk about the injuries first, I want to read you something, okay? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can tell me who said it and when they said it. Okay.

Speaker 1 I apologize for us being healthy. I apologize for us playing who was in front of us.
I apologize for all the accolades we received as a team and individually.

Speaker 1 I'm very truly sorry, and will rectify that situation this year.

Speaker 1 Hmm. Hmm.

Speaker 1 Would that be

Speaker 1 Steph Curry? Steph Curry 2015 after winning the title. He said it actually in the fall.
So there you go.

Speaker 3 That's when Kyrie's knee experience.

Speaker 1 Kyrie and Kevin Love didn't play in the finals. Injuries happen.
I'm not saying that the Warriors with Kevin Durant and Clay Thompson probably win that series.

Speaker 1 That's pretty apparent, but injuries happen. Kawhi hurt his ankle when uh when uh what's his name

Speaker 1 zaza ran underneath him chris paul got hurt in the rockets series last year that went seven games injuries happen they help you they hurt you if you're gonna if you're gonna complain about it now you then have to go back to steph curry saying i apologize for playing the team in front of us and being healthy because guess what being healthy is part of it and there's nothing you can do so the raptors deserve everything they got they are willing nba champions and i don't love, I hate when people do the asterisks.

Speaker 1 Being healthy is part of winning an NBA championship.

Speaker 3 It is, but I was telling the story of tonight was probably

Speaker 1 people are going to do that. They're going to do that.

Speaker 1 They will do that.

Speaker 3 And to take nothing away from that.

Speaker 1 But it's just funny Steph did the same thing.

Speaker 3 Well, let's talk about Steph because Steph had a Charlie horse tonight. So he was injured.
So that's another major asterisk.

Speaker 1 Bad shooting night for Steph. I think he was 6 for 17.
I don't blame him because, like you said, the best play, like no one out there wanted to shoot.

Speaker 1 He had all the focus of the Raptors' defense. It was essentially like they already, when they already had just clay, it was hard enough because

Speaker 1 you exactly nail it. I mean, Draymond and Iggy do not want to shoot three-pointers.
Draymond at least tried to shoot them tonight.

Speaker 3 You know what they looked like? Have you ever been to the ocean and you have to go in and pee, but the water's really cold, but you got to do it anyways, and you're just about to take that first dive?

Speaker 3 You're like, I guess I got to do this. That's what they looked like every time they were shooting a three-pointer.

Speaker 1 Yes. So, and then speaking of role players, and

Speaker 1 Draymond actually had, I think, yeah, he had 19 rebounds. Holy shit, he had 19 rebounds, 13 assists, and 11 points.
So he played pretty well. But the role players for the Raptors, Fred Van Vliet, or

Speaker 1 as Jeff Van Gundy kept on saying, Fred Van Fleet.

Speaker 3 Unreal. Nelly.
So good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Nelly with the band-aid. So good.
Hubie Brown, his old ass, voted him for MVP of the NBA Finals. I like that.

Speaker 1 The only one. Kawhi was going to get a unanimous MVP vote.
And Hubie was like, wait, is this a vote for the whole series or just tonight?

Speaker 1 Because Fred Van Vleet was unbelievable and hit shot after shot. And Kyle Lowry,

Speaker 1 who I think everyone has trashed on Kyle Lowry in the past, he was unbelievable too. He basically came out.
I think he hit like his first four shots. He was on fire.
So, I mean, the Raptors were.

Speaker 1 I just don't want to do the thing where we take away from the Raptors because the Warriors, everyone gets injuries and everyone has to deal with injuries. And the Warriors had an unbelievable run.

Speaker 3 They almost won tonight, too. Yeah, they did.
They could have won at the end. They had the shot from Steph Curry.
That stat came up saying that Steph Curry is 0 for 7 in

Speaker 3 lead-changing shot opportunities in the last minute of a game in the playoffs.

Speaker 3 But that's kind of a misleading stat because in the amount of playoff games he's played, there have only been seven times that he's had the opportunity to take lead on the last.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, he's just really fucking good the rest of the game.

Speaker 1 Right. And this is the funniest thing that we do with sports as sports fans.
We wait until a team loses to start start like heaping the praise on them and being like, you know what?

Speaker 1 The Warriors were the better team, but they had the injuries. And like the Warriors have had an unbelievable run.
They've been incredible. They've won three out of the four.

Speaker 1 They've, you know, the 73 win season obviously didn't end in a title, but they've had this like historic run and everyone threw shots at them.

Speaker 1 The Charles Barkley, you know, jump shot teams can't win a title. And then we wait till they lose to be like, The Warriors are so fucking good, they would have won this title.
They were great.

Speaker 1 We always do this. We're so stupid as sports.

Speaker 3 No, you're definitely right. It's like now that they've officially lost, it's like, shit,

Speaker 3 we should have appreciated them all.

Speaker 1 We took for granted, didn't we?

Speaker 3 Well, now, you know what we get to do? We get to start the narrative of, were the Warriors a dynasty? Were they a true dynasty?

Speaker 1 I count anything three and four. I think yes.

Speaker 3 I'd say three out of four, absolutely. Three out of five is when you really start to have the conversation.

Speaker 1 And also, three out of four and five straight finals. Yes.

Speaker 3 But also, does this diminish LeBron James' earlier victory over the Warriors? Because now Kawhi went ahead and he did it too. That's true.

Speaker 1 It's a good question. And is the true dynasty Patrick McCaw, who now has a three-peat.
So he won with the Warriors the last two years and now he won with the Raptors tonight.

Speaker 3 I like that.

Speaker 1 So he has his own personal three-peat.

Speaker 3 I like that. You try to guess who said this about Kawhi Leonard.
You ready? Okay, yes. I still can't figure out how number two

Speaker 3 won his first finals MVP. We're not even talking about tonight.
Okay. His first finals MVP.
He wasn't the Spurs leading scorer in that finals. Tony Parker was.

Speaker 3 Number two was the third leading rebounder. Duncan averaged 15 and 10.
Number two was third and plus minus. Manu was first.
Number two held LeBron to 28 a game. MVP, question, question, question.

Speaker 1 Fuck, Steph, is that bitter?

Speaker 3 That was also Steph. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Our friend Skip Bailey. Number two.
The number two. Yeah, people are, I mean, you can't take anything away from Kawhi.

Speaker 1 I think Kawhi now, this conversation's already happened, but he is now officially the best trade ever for a one-year guy.

Speaker 1 Like, not talking about career-wise, because I'm sure you can find trades that, you know, ended up working better career-wise, but going all in for one year and being like, let's just do it.

Speaker 1 Let's have Kawhi come to Toronto. He might not stay.
He probably still won't stay, which is going to be hilarious if he doesn't,

Speaker 1 and just throw all of our chips in the middle, and it worked out. Like, there's never been a trade like that that has worked so perfectly like this one.
And now everyone's going to try to do this.

Speaker 1 Everyone's going to talk themselves into like, like, ooh, Anthony Davis for one year. The Knicks are going to give everything for Anthony Davis and just put him out there with no one.

Speaker 3 This does change the rent-a-player concept. Yeah.
Like, it worked for this one team, so everyone's going to go all, and I agree with that.

Speaker 3 You know, if it does work, it's awesome. It's perfect.
Yes. Because I guarantee you, every Raptors fan out there would absolutely trade like one year of giving up all these assets for this one title.

Speaker 3 Flags fly forever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 As a Capitals fan, I know.

Speaker 1 Flags fly forever. DeMar DeRosan is sitting in San Antonio right now, and man, that sucks.
That is pretty much. That's really all I got to say.

Speaker 3 You got the Churros, and you got the Chips.

Speaker 1 You got the Chips. And Spurs fans in general.

Speaker 1 You have to think, holy shit, Kawhi Leonard, who now everyone is going to, because this is what we also do, especially with Kevin Durant getting injured, but whoever wins the title is the best player in the world.

Speaker 1 And so Kawhi will be the best player in the world for at least a year.

Speaker 1 And Spurs fans get to be like, oh. Damn, that was our guy.

Speaker 3 And guess what? There is no off-season at all in the NBA? Nope.

Speaker 3 Because as soon as they were handing out the Larry O'Brien trophy, as the microphone was being handed to the general manager of the Raptors,

Speaker 3 Messiah Regi, Woge dropped the Woge bomb. Perfect timing by Woge.
Yep. Like, can't let the guy have his moment.

Speaker 3 Boom, the Washington Wizards are going to make a godfather offer, which means everyone's going to get killed. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And they're going to try to get him to the Wizards. And I don't know.
Who?

Speaker 1 The Wizards. Wait, who's trying to get to the Wizards? Who are they trying to get?

Speaker 3 They're trying to get the general manager.

Speaker 1 Oh, Messiah Regent. Oh, got it.
Got it. Got it.

Speaker 3 So they're trying to get him to the Wizards to return to the game.

Speaker 1 The guy who just won a title and then he's in the middle of champagne and everything.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Wizards, say what you want about the franchise, but they could use somebody that knows how to get their opponents all injured instead of their current players.

Speaker 1 It might work. I thought the Wizards were going to make a godfather offer for Kevin Durant and be like the all-injured team and just be like, let's just play for 2021 or whatever the fuck.

Speaker 3 Just have him and John Wall rehab together all year, become best of friends. So that sucks, by the way.

Speaker 1 That was another thing that happened. Kevin Durant

Speaker 1 is confirmed torn Achilles, and he's going to be out for basically all of, I think all of next year, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's what they said.

Speaker 1 Like, there's nothing, yeah. So it's a nine-month injury, which doesn't mean he's going to be out for all next year, but everyone's saying.

Speaker 3 Same as a pregnancy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to be all out next year.

Speaker 1 That was a little thing with the, I don't, this might be me being too woke, but when Clay Thompson gets hurt and he goes back in the locker room and he's running around, like he looks like he can come back in.

Speaker 1 Do you think there's a little bit of the Warriors? They're like, wait, Clay is the guy that we're going to sign to a max deal. He's staying.
Kevin Durant was leaving no matter what.

Speaker 1 Or as far as we know, Kevin Durant is not our problem. Injured or healthy.
Clay Thompson, injured.

Speaker 1 Like, they probably sat there and they said, if Clay Thompson gets re-injured and tears his ACL, this is not losing this year. This is losing next year.

Speaker 3 I don't know if it was as much that as it was just like, we can't let this happen twice in a row. It's like, fool me once, shame on you.

Speaker 3 We can't get fooled again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it is a little bit of it. There's a little bit of it where it's like, yeah, this is the guy that's supposed to be on the team next year, so we have to protect him.

Speaker 1 Kevin Durant, who knows what his future is going to be.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't know if it was as much that as it was just like, we'll be extra careful this time.

Speaker 1 So Jurassic Park, no longer the factory of sadness there. Drake curse.
Drake curse over.

Speaker 1 Damn. I didn't even think about that.
That's a real shame. These guys, right after the Raptors, one, you were in the other room, but Liam and Hank just started talking to each other.

Speaker 1 Like, you think we're going to get some new Drake? The new Drake's going to be fire. No, I've never felt older.
We better get some new Drake. I have never felt older.

Speaker 1 I was just like, this is what we're talking about.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to laugh at Kawhi not smiling here. Yeah,

Speaker 3 I hope that there will be a new Drake just so that we'll have something to talk about. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's like Jurassic Park.

Speaker 1 That's not bad.

Speaker 3 And sample the music.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that would be really good. Yeah, that's a good thing.
And the Kawhi laugh.

Speaker 3 Ooh, that's good, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The little beat right there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, when the spitting dinosaur opens up its things, it's just for Kawhi button.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never saw it.
Nick Nurse's buttons almost popped. I wrote that down.
Okay. That was a.

Speaker 1 Shout out, Nick Nurse, man. Worst name ever for a coach.
Wears the NN hat. Has his bottom button almost burst.
Calls a terrible timeout in game five. Wins a title.

Speaker 1 That's a hell of a run.

Speaker 3 Listen, I like Nick Nurse because he's a glow-up Joe Pronte, and he was able to get it done. And he's, I mean, he's got to be fucking pumped tonight.

Speaker 3 This is as good as life's going to get for a guy named Nick Nurse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so now, Raptors fans,

Speaker 1 I don't know, you're going to be annoying. We're going to probably hate you soon enough.
But yeah, we enjoy it.

Speaker 3 We turn on everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, enjoy it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 have fun. I mean, this was...
I'm not taking anything away from the Raptors. The Kawhi also, first player in NBA history to win finals MVP in both conferences.
That's kind of a cool stat.

Speaker 3 Well, the first one he shouldn't have won. We already established that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that's true.

Speaker 3 That is true. One and a half.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, and the Oracle is closed. That's too bad.
The Oracle is done. By the way, that was kind of weird.
When they had the Kevin Durant, like win-win for Kevin and all the KD things,

Speaker 1 he didn't die. Right.
It's always weird when we do these things with the injuries. He's also leaving.
He's also probably leaving.

Speaker 3 And he did put his heart

Speaker 1 on the line and his leg on the line for the team.

Speaker 5 And maybe if they had that attitude beforehand, he just wouldn't wouldn't have played and got hurt again.

Speaker 1 Right. But just

Speaker 1 win one for Kevin is like, did he die? Like it was like this big graphic they put up on the Jumbotron. It just felt a little weird.
It did.

Speaker 3 It was like they jumped into the KD strong thing a little too quickly, right?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So leaned into it.
Shame on the Warriors for having too many players with legs. Yeah.
And FDR was in a wheelchair and he won World War II.

Speaker 1 True. And then we get Kevin Durant.
His legacy is now supplanted there by basically being like it was his team all along. That's true.
Steph's team. Even though Steph had no help at the end.

Speaker 1 But still.

Speaker 3 I made one note here. I loved watching Boogie towards the end of the game.
Oh, because he was just rumbling, stumbling, rumbling. He was just throwing his body around.

Speaker 3 He was, you know, what I noticed about him in the fourth quarter, Boogie gets so tired that when there's a pass coming into him, he's so late getting his arms up. Yeah, his arms are tired.

Speaker 3 It's like, have you ever been

Speaker 3 hanging out at a house or something and you've got your hands down your pants and someone tosses you a beer and your hand gets like stuck reaching up to the bottom? It's a rabbit.

Speaker 1 That's what it looked like when when he was trying to grab a ball that was being like thrown into the key very specific what's happened to me a lot jack off parties yeah yeah no like the rain city jacks in seattle and some dude's like here dude zima and you're like fuck gotta pull my hand out listen it happens a lot you gotta make adjustments on the go you could just say he was winded he he them running zone in the first half was ridiculous like so funny because of boogie and then he was he was at the situation where every time he caught it down low he just turned around and tried to barrel through people.

Speaker 1 Like someone, if that was a pickup game, someone would be like, dude, we're not trying to get injured here. Just stop throwing your weight around all the time on every play.
And it wasn't malicious.

Speaker 1 It was just

Speaker 1 like when big guys get tired, they get sloppy. And that's what happened with Boogie.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they should have put Bogut in. Bogut didn't get any minutes night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Bogut, I mean, he's another one where it was like, this is, it's so funny watching the NBA now.

Speaker 1 All these tall guys are like, you throw them in there and they're like, well, that guy's going to get fucked on the pick and roll.

Speaker 3 Yeah, when you look at the Warriors, they've succeeded by zigging while everybody else zags all the time. They basically changed how the game of basketball is played in the NBA.

Speaker 3 I expected Steve Curry to just be like, you know what, fuck it. Let's go big.
Let's get Boogie in there. Let's get Bogut.
JJ.

Speaker 1 I call him JJ Runner. JJ Reddit.
Yeah, just get everyone in there and just throw post-possessions.

Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly. Make sure everyone gets a touch.

Speaker 1 Little kick. Get the hook shot back.

Speaker 1 That would have been a nice little, I mean, they really had no answers because what do you do when you lose everyone and Steph Curry has to dribble around and he's got a dislocated finger and he's got the thigh contusion.

Speaker 3 The thigh contusion.

Speaker 5 Did you see the stat that he's like 0 for 20, though, for like go-ahead or game-winning shots in the fourth quarter?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I heard that about five minutes ago on this show. 50 seconds.
It was 0 for 7. That's okay.
My bad.

Speaker 1 But that's okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, the Steph haters will definitely be out.

Speaker 1 Again, we're going to do the reverse. The pendulum just swings back and forth.

Speaker 1 It's so stupid that everyone, you know, and myself included, I hated that, you know, I would throw stones at Steph and do the whole thing, and now I'd be like, man, I respect his greatness.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So enjoy it tonight.

Speaker 3 Enjoy it tonight, Canada. We're not going to buster, but we're not going to turn on you yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you guys already have done enough self-harm this week with your hating of U.S. women's national team and all that stuff.
Speaking of which, coming up, Rose Lavelle

Speaker 1 BarstowGold.com/slash PMT if you want to watch it.

Speaker 3 If you want to watch it, yeah, and we have a new episode of

Speaker 3 the extra, the bonus episode

Speaker 3 came out two days ago, and it's with the head groundskeeper of Finway Park.

Speaker 1 It was an awesome event. And his dog.
Crazy story. Crazy story.
Guy got hit by a car three times.

Speaker 1 All right, let's talk about the Stanley Cup final. Hank, running.

Speaker 1 Would you like to start?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you were there. I was there.
Also, happy birthday.

Speaker 5 I was in the barn. Thank you.
I was in the barn. Shout out to Harry Listener for inviting me.
It was an unreal atmosphere. Once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Speaker 5 The second goal that they scored at the end of the first period, that was basically the game.

Speaker 1 There is nothing more crushing in playoff hockey than giving up goals in the final minute of a period.

Speaker 5 And as a person who is admittedly not a hockey fan, when I am like pointing something out being like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 What are you doing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 And they scored, it's like that, that must be really bad. And obviously it was.

Speaker 1 It was brutal because they scored with under 10 seconds left.

Speaker 5 And like, I know the 2-0 leads are the worst lead in hockey, but the game was basically over.

Speaker 5 The Bruins never, they should have scored. Letting up two goals out of four shots is just deflating.

Speaker 3 Craziest stat would have been if you guys had won, if the Bruins had won that game, that would have meant that the Patriots would have had the least amount of championships of any Boston team.

Speaker 3 So spin zone, Patriots are still not the worst team in Boston history.

Speaker 1 The fact that, so we just had the Raptors win with the Kawhi trade and go from like

Speaker 1 a joke of a franchise where everyone laughed about them getting bounced every year to winning an NBA title. And then we had the Blues who had never won a Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 And I don't like the Blues, but I'm going to give them some credit here because the fact that they went from the worst team in the NHL January 2nd to winning the Stanley Cup is insane.

Speaker 1 That's an insane run. Bennington was insane.
Like that whole thing is just crazy that they were able to put that together and have that type of run and then win.

Speaker 1 Do they win three games on the road? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they won three games on the road in the Stanley Cup final. I mean, they were as impressive as impressive gets.
And Hank, do we have a Soggy Sorrows?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, it's not much. It's just me, you know, taking.
There was a security guard. I had like a beer.
I I was gonna go full full full soggy, but he was like, he saw what I was doing.

Speaker 5 I asked someone to film me and he was like, don't do it.

Speaker 1 Don't do it.

Speaker 5 So I kind of just had to do the PFT Soggy Sorrows.

Speaker 1 It's not great.

Speaker 3 He wouldn't. What do you mean it's not great? The PFT Soggy Sorrows was amazing.

Speaker 1 It was amazing. I gave full credit for it.

Speaker 5 So I was like standing by the glass and I was like, all right, I'm going to like I gave the guy my phone and the security guard saw me and kind of picked up on the situation.

Speaker 5 Was like, don't pour that on your head.

Speaker 3 He just didn't want to see you waste beer. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's not great. Can you have it? Can we play it?

Speaker 1 Can we play it?

Speaker 5 I mean, it's just me pouring beer on my head, but sure.

Speaker 1 Did you talk during it? Not really. So, our whole direction was make sure you talk into a video camera right after.

Speaker 3 I mean, the silent Soggy Star was that

Speaker 1 also conveys an emotion. Play it into the mic.

Speaker 1 I feel like we're back there.

Speaker 1 That's it? That was it?

Speaker 3 Hey, don't pull that kid.

Speaker 1 Hey.

Speaker 3 Hey, you got it. Is that Nicole?

Speaker 1 Did you want to say anything?

Speaker 3 Don't you dare do it.

Speaker 1 No, Henry. Let me see it.
Turn it around.

Speaker 1 This is the worst. Oh, you actually did pour a little on your head.

Speaker 3 You looked like a marathoner just like tossing a cup of Gatorade in your face.

Speaker 1 Hank, I want to talk to you real quick, though, because you did say that you stayed and watched, and you said the Stanley Cup presentation is the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 5 It was nice. I mean, they literally had the red carpet, the music.

Speaker 5 They play up the dramatics of it. It was a very, it was, I took some pictures where it's like, these are great pictures that I just don't want, but they're awesome pictures.

Speaker 5 Like it was, it was a very,

Speaker 5 it was one of those things where like, this is, this is cool.

Speaker 3 I got you.

Speaker 5 Yeah. You don't, you're not happy, but you're like...

Speaker 1 Your inner sports fan takes over and you're like, fuck. Yeah.
Like I've been seeing the Stanley Cup in person.

Speaker 5 And the way they do the dramatics, where it's like the slow walk out, and then they finally give it, and everyone just goes nuts.

Speaker 3 What I really appreciated is Boston's commitment to booing commissioners because when Bettman came out there to present the trophy, they let him fucking have it.

Speaker 3 Now, I'm admittedly a little bit behind on why everybody hates him.

Speaker 1 Oh, they always boo him so hard.

Speaker 3 But it was like a Roger Goodell type.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's one of my favorite things every year is Bettman getting booed to like just as hard as hard as possible.

Speaker 3 First, well, we should make sure that we credit the St. Louis Dispatch because they have this.

Speaker 1 Yes, they did have this all first. That's true.
That is true. They did have the Blues winning the cup like a week ago.

Speaker 1 The Stanley Cup presentation and like the trophy and how they skate around, it is the best in sports. That is the best celebration in sports.
And, you know, they always do.

Speaker 1 And Doc Emmerich always does an awesome job where he just has like little tidbits. He's like, and here comes this guy.
His dad taught him how to play hockey on the lakes of Alberta.

Speaker 1 And then his mom drove a truck every single night so that he could afford pads. Yeah.
And he's lifting this cup for these people.

Speaker 3 How about Adam Silver kind of taking that this year, though, and tying it all into Canada? Yeah. Saying that the first NBA championship was won by a Canadian team.
Really?

Speaker 3 And it was invented by a Canadian.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's true. Trying to make the global game.
Yep. I forgot that it was invented by a Canadian.
So, Hank, overall,

Speaker 1 pretty shitty time.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't really know how to do it. I don't know how anybody else is.

Speaker 5 The worst Soggy Sorrows was waking up. It was my birthday.
I was like, damn. I got to go all the way back to work.
I'm kind of hungover. I have to get on a train.
It's fucking pouring rain.

Speaker 5 This would be a million times better if the Bruins won. Also, the last two games of the Garden I've been to was game seven against the Cavs when the Celtics lost, and Game Seven Stanley finals.

Speaker 1 Now, did you.

Speaker 1 What is that noise? I think it's a terrible thing. Oh, the cleaning people out there.
Oh, the cleaning people are here. So it's like one in the morning.
Sorry, the cleaning people are here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the Blues, I hate you, but you deserved it. It was a hell of a fucking win.
And you know what?

Speaker 3 I would rather see a team that has never won a title get there first because that's always a little bit special, right?

Speaker 3 Just like seeing the Raptors win one, seeing the Blues win one. If I have to choose between the two, I was rooting for the Bruins just for Hank because I like a happy Hank.

Speaker 3 A happy Hank is a good Hank to be around.

Speaker 1 Two happy is a little dangerous. And it was his birthday.

Speaker 3 I like overconfident cocky Hank because then you can kind of.

Speaker 1 You like ultra sunrise monster energy, Hank?

Speaker 3 Yeah, because he overextends himself sometimes, and you can take advantage of that on the other side.

Speaker 5 Also, the worst part was that the Bruins never had a chance. It was never, there was like in the first period, they had a few chances where they should have scored and people were going nuts.

Speaker 5 But after they went down 2-0, the whole building, like, you could just feel the anxiety. There was never any like

Speaker 5 really like, let's get behind him and hopefully we can score one and win. It was just like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, we're behind

Speaker 5 time's going down.

Speaker 1 The first period was, like I said, though,

Speaker 1 giving up a goal under a minute to go and play off hockey is the worst feeling in the world. But on top of that, having a team

Speaker 1 score more than you, but you outshoot them like two to one and dominate the action. It's like five to one.
That is the, like, you just know bad shit's going to happen.

Speaker 1 By the way, you mentioned the first team to ever win.

Speaker 1 Shout out Rick Eisen because Rich Eisen, Rick Eisen, Rich Eisen, because he put together a list. We've had a hell of a run this past decade.
The Kings won their first cup ever.

Speaker 1 The Caps won their first cup ever. The Blues won their first cup ever.
The Mavericks won their first title ever. The Cavs won their first title ever.
The Raptors won their first title ever.

Speaker 1 And there was another one. Oh, well, we had obviously like a bunch of baseball stuff, you know, with the Cubs obviously winning and then the Giants breaking a long time thing.

Speaker 3 And so the Falcons won their. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That was really really mean

Speaker 3 you know what I'm gonna really mean you know what the narrative I'm gonna go with like I don't care that the Caps lost this year the Caps are the new Giants so we got the even every two years even your bullshit is now the Capitol's just gonna play forever probably I mean well there's I can take solace in the fact that whatever the blues do with the Stanley Cup it's not gonna touch the caps celebration last year yeah although I did see some citizens of St.

Speaker 1 Louis trying to push over the arch yeah that was actually kind of funny that was pretty cool that was pretty funny you guys can do it uh it was the other the other part of the Seahawks first title title ever Eagles first in 57 years Astros first title ever yeah I mean it's been a big big decade for teams kind of breaking the popping that cherry curse or popping the cherry it is it is cool to watch those teams do that even though I hate the blues all right that was really nice of me I thought it was very mature that was good you know what it is it's just like seeing the majesty of the Stanley Cup kind of brings out the best and all of it

Speaker 1 that and also the the Cubs winning in 2016 changes the dynamic of like it's kind of the just the reverse like Like, the blues had never won one, so it's just like now everything's kind of even.

Speaker 3 It was a great handshake line, too. It was amazing.
Fantastic.

Speaker 3 At the start of it, it was Chara. And who showed Ryan O'Reilly? Ryan O'Reilly.
That handshake lasted for at least three patinas. You could feel it.

Speaker 1 You could feel it.

Speaker 5 Players swearing on the hot mic at the end of the show. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was great. That was it.
And Ryan O'Reilly saying, oops, sorry, right? Like instantly after. Yeah, there was a lot of F-bombs.
Hopefully, people weren't listening. So we don't do that.

Speaker 1 It's at home that show. Yeah.

Speaker 1 fuck shit motherfucker uh fuck yeah okay okay hey fuck you eh uh let's do our fire fest of the week hank

Speaker 5 okay i mean i feel like that whole situation was basically a fire fest but to add another one uh

Speaker 5 i'm going i'm looking for new apartments and shit i found a place online saw it liked it put a down payment on it and then after like going through all the paperwork and shit the person who i was dealing with is like oh by the way there's a broker's fee uh it's going to be like fucking a shitload more money.

Speaker 5 That's how they get you. So I'm not getting the apartment.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I don't know how anybody knows.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're not? No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was going to be, you were going to be buddies with PFT. That was actually.

Speaker 3 Turns out Hanks didn't know the geography of New York.

Speaker 5 Nope. PFT didn't know the geography.

Speaker 1 No, he was like, I'm going to move in. You're going to geography off?

Speaker 3 He goes, I'm going to move into right next to your favorite wing place. And I was like, oh, that's awesome.
And then he's like, yeah, it's going to be great. I can see the water.

Speaker 3 And I was like, well, no, you can't see water from my wing place.

Speaker 1 You mean the the toilet? There's a puke after I ate too many wings?

Speaker 3 There's a second wing place that's like a mile south.

Speaker 1 Same name.

Speaker 3 So Hank would have been down in the financial district, just moving and shaking with all the Wall Street guys.

Speaker 1 You just grab those

Speaker 1 big balls and just take New York by storm.

Speaker 5 But not anymore.

Speaker 3 So what are you going to do? Greed is good, Hank.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Figure it out.

Speaker 1 I have till August, but.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Brokerage fees are a firefest.

Speaker 1 Hanging up till August makes me nervous.

Speaker 3 Hank, if it's a fire fact.

Speaker 1 That doesn't.

Speaker 1 You're going to be living on Long Island in August. I mean, we got a couch in here.
You're just being like, I got this. August.

Speaker 3 If it's a fire fest, you could always just be like Andy and just be doing, you know, willing to do whatever it takes to waive those brokerage fees.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 if this is a month from now, that might be a good thing.

Speaker 1 Broker's trees do suck. You got to find a building that doesn't have those.

Speaker 5 It was also, that's what I thought I was doing. And it was at the very end of the process where the guy was like, oh, by the way, like, there's a 15% brokerage fee.

Speaker 5 And I was like, oh, that's why it was so cheap.

Speaker 1 That's why I pulled up.

Speaker 3 You should just buy a house, Hank. That way you don't have to pay for it.

Speaker 1 You should just offer them. You should actually just bring us to the negotiation out of the deal.
No big deal. We'd just be like, hey, how about instead of that? Brokerage fee, $300 cash.
Boom.

Speaker 1 People always take cash over anything else. If you say cash, like if you just say it really forcefully, hey, Hank, brokerage fee, or how about I give you $50 cash.

Speaker 1 Isn't it just New York that does brokerage fees, though? That's what I don't understand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he literally walked me into an apartment.

Speaker 1 It was was like hey this is a living room this is the bedroom all right you like it see you later right what is the fee for i think that producers should pay for their own apartment yeah but yeah you most places the the owner pays the broker No, no, it's a little bit of both, but what they do is on like the Craigslist ads and the apartment hunting ads, they say no brokerage fee.

Speaker 3 They just click the option for no brokerage fee, and then you meet them, then you like the place, and they're like, by the way, there's a huge fucking brokerage fee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bitch. Yeah.
Pay me. That sucks.

Speaker 3 Or, Hank, how about we do this?

Speaker 3 We set up one of those giant, inflatable, scabby the rat things that they use for uh, for like uh strikes and union protests, and we just tell the guy, we're gonna put this outside the building unless you let myself.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's been one down the street from me recently, and there was a big fucking union brawl.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it was awesome. Steven Crowder there, getting punched in the face again.

Speaker 1 No, fuck that guy. Um,

Speaker 1 PFT, why don't you go?

Speaker 3 Uh, my personal firefest of the week is that Mike Allstott, one of my heroes, all-time fullback. I think I had him listed as number one fullback of all time on my power ranking.

Speaker 1 As you should have.

Speaker 3 Is a sellout. Uh-oh.
He's a fullback sellout.

Speaker 3 So the athletic wrote a big piece about the dying position of the fullback, which is actually not true because it's made a comeback the last couple of years, kind of.

Speaker 3 And they interviewed Allstott. He's a high school coach, and he doesn't use a fullback

Speaker 3 on his offense. That motherfucker does not use a fullback.

Speaker 1 I was wondering where this was going, and that is truly shocking. It's

Speaker 1 depressing.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say, like, Mike Alstock lost 100 pounds or something. No.

Speaker 1 That is shocking.

Speaker 3 My only theory, I have two theories of maybe why he's doing this. That's like an internal spin zone in my mind.
One, he doesn't want anybody to be a better fullback than him. Fact.

Speaker 3 So he doesn't want to coach anybody up too high. Yep.
Number two, maybe it's like you're not allowed to throw a curveball in Little League. You got to wait until your elbow develops.

Speaker 3 Maybe he's like, I have to wait until my players' intangibles develop until I can allow them to play fullback.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or a third one could be maybe he's just trying to make it as difficult as possible for him to coach football.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, I want to coach on a curve here, not using the most important position in the world.

Speaker 3 That's a good point.

Speaker 1 Like, basically, like, I'm going to fight you guys with one hand tied behind my back.

Speaker 3 He's being a fullback of a coach by not having a fullback on a seat. That's a good spin zone, too.
Yeah. But

Speaker 1 I'm not happy. That's brutal.
I actually feel really bad for you.

Speaker 3 I think fullbacks are being more and more encouraged to become more glamorous positions these days, like general manager or holdback coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's true. The whole back coach, that is a fullback.
How the whole back coach killed the fullback. Yeah.
That is

Speaker 1 definitely an article coming. Absolutely.
By you, probably. Yes, I think I might just go ahead and write that.
But yeah, fuck Michael. Well, I don't want to say fuck Michael.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, don't go that far. You can always.

Speaker 3 We'll smooth it over. Mike, let's talk.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's you guys are just going through some things.

Speaker 3 We're going through a rough patch right now.

Speaker 1 You're sleeping on work done's couch.

Speaker 3 That's fine. Right now.

Speaker 1 Okay? That's fine.

Speaker 1 fine um all right my personal fire fest have you guys heard of this thing called um you probably have because i'm very late to it but the um uh i think it's pronounced akaia bowls s-i-e bowls okay

Speaker 1 so i found out about them they're awesome it's basically ice cream but then i found out they make you fat yeah so that's how they get you so it yeah sounds very i ate like six of them in the last probably seven days and i was like this is sick they're good like this is so good good.

Speaker 1 It tastes good. I would eat a whole meal, then I'd eat my akaya bowl for my little dessert and be like, Well, it's got strawberries, it's not ice cream, it's great.

Speaker 1 Boom, turns out it basically is ice cream.

Speaker 3 They're labeled as superfood, yeah, but I think you have to eat like one and a half of them, like one and a half berries, and then that's good for you.

Speaker 3 But what they do is they just make it like this big paste that they include. It's an ice roll with a bunch of honey and syrup and bananas and chocolate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I should have been tipped off when the chocolate came in, but it is one of those things where if you buy, like if if they if they fancy up like a french fried place and they make you think that it's not like a mcdonald's you'll go into it and say to yourself this is actually great for me this is superfood like you said so i got tricked i thought i had cracked the code i thought i had found something that i could eat in replacement of ice cream because i eat a lot of ice cream Turns out I'm wrong, so that's my personal fire festival.

Speaker 3 You know what they do in those restaurants that serve bowls is they just have everybody that works there look like a yoga instructor. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then if they, if everybody's serving it looks healthy, then you're like, oh, yeah, then I'll look like that if I eat enough of this because this is what they eat.

Speaker 1 They're playing that music that you hear when you go to like a spa. You know, the little bit of the

Speaker 1 ambient sound. It's an ambient slash jazz slash.

Speaker 1 They'll make a windpipe thing. It's going on.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they'll mix in like an

Speaker 3 acoustic Jackson Brown song once an hour.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just feel good going in, and then, yeah, you're right. Everyone's wearing the Lululemon, and you're like, damn, these people are fit.

Speaker 3 It's acai time, baby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then you just walk out of there, and you realize that you're just eating like 1,500 calories for my dessert again, not my actual meal. I think you're supposed to eat it as a meal.

Speaker 1 Not as a dessert.

Speaker 3 You can also spin it to be like, oh, it's a good breakfast food because it jumpstarts your metabolism.

Speaker 3 That's every time I eat something really shitty for breakfast, like this morning I had three donuts, and my rationalization was it's early in the morning, so I'm kicking that metabolism into high gear by spiking my bloodstream.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to eat all your calories in the morning.

Speaker 3 That's right. So I tried to do that, but then I just ate more of all my calories throughout the entire time.

Speaker 1 Your reasoning was right. It was sound.
Thank you. It was sound.
Quick update.

Speaker 5 Drake has announced he's putting out a song tomorrow called Omerta, Money in the Grave, featuring Rick Ross.

Speaker 1 Great. Omerta.
So was it made

Speaker 1 for the Raptors?

Speaker 5 Yeah, probably. I mean, Omerta.

Speaker 3 Omerta is the Italian code for silence.

Speaker 1 Not Latino code. Yeah, no, it's the thing that Big Pussy broke.
And then he got a shot. And then he got shot on the boat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, Merita.

Speaker 1 It doesn't even flinch anymore. You got to get that shit.
I got to that part. Yeah, you got to that part.
What the hell?

Speaker 3 It means stop snitching. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you're good? Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 5 That was actually the worst death for me, pussy.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 5 You don't fuck anymore? Well, no, then all the other ones, like.

Speaker 1 Ha.

Speaker 5 That was a good one.

Speaker 1 That was a layup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all the other ones.

Speaker 3 That one really threw Hank off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all the other ones that we told you weren't as impactful. Yeah, well, then I stopped watching it.
Okay. All right.
Let's get to our interview with Rose Lavelle, U.S. women's soccer team

Speaker 1 star. She scored two goals against Thailand,

Speaker 3 which actually...

Speaker 1 adjusted for inflation is not that many goals. Well, still, she's a star.

Speaker 3 I want to clear that up real quick because many people are saying that we shouldn't have scored that many goals.

Speaker 3 The first tiebreaker is gold differential. Yeah, exactly.
So if we lose to Chile by 15 goals, we're fucked. Then we're fucked.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, no, because we scored 13 against Thailand. Maybe.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But it's just good that we scored a Baker's Dozen. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boars Head makes Game Day Entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, here she is. U.S.
women's national team superstar Rose Lavelle.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest member of the U.S. women's national team who's going to be playing in the World Cup this summer.
It's Rose Lavelle, also number 10.

Speaker 1 Does that mean you're the best player on the team?

Speaker 6 I'm actually not number 10.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 Your Wikipedia is wrong.

Speaker 3 You're number 10 on the Washington Spirit.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 Let me rephrase it. Do you aspire to someday be number 10 on the U.S.
women's team?

Speaker 6 I think there's a long line of people who want it before me who will get it before me.

Speaker 6 But I do love the number.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's like the goal scorers number, right?

Speaker 1 We're limited soccer knowledge. I own a team, but other than that, I own Swansea.
No big deal. They were in the EPL, no longer.
But number 10 is a big deal.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I love the number. It's Messi's number.
Okay.

Speaker 3 10 and 10. Oh, who's the goat?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, I wrote that down to it. Messi.

Speaker 3 No, actually, it's Mia Ham. I was asking about the women's national team.

Speaker 1 Oh, well.

Speaker 3 Our Akers. Who is it?

Speaker 6 I was obsessed with Mia Ham.

Speaker 6 That was my idol.

Speaker 1 The whole world was, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So wait, we were going to get to that, but let's just do it right now. You're firmly Messi versus Ronaldo Messi?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm a Messi fan.

Speaker 1 Okay, good, because we are too. We're a Messi podcast.
Okay, good.

Speaker 6 I'm glad you guys brought me in today, then.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely. I was reviewing your social media before you came in.
You have a good account, good clean Twitter account. You have a very nice bulldog.
She's a thick little chunk girl, huh?

Speaker 6 She's actually very slender.

Speaker 3 Oh, has she lost weight? Because I know that

Speaker 3 you had her on a weight loss journey.

Speaker 6 I did have her on a weight loss journey, but she has slimmed down. Her physique is like unreal now.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is she going to make the trip over to France?

Speaker 6 Unfortunately not.

Speaker 6 Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. I actually, I also went through your Twitter and I noticed a very problematic tweet about your bulldog.
You said, still cannot believe I have the world's cutest dog. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd actually say I have the world's cutest dog.

Speaker 6 It's weird because I

Speaker 6 actually have the world's cutest dog.

Speaker 1 It seems like you're excluding a lot of people when you say something like that.

Speaker 1 Just be careful with Twitter these days. You know, people find problematic things in everything.

Speaker 6 Yeah, no, I actually have found it very problematic seeing people say that they have the world's cutest dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
I do. Yeah.
All right, let's talk some soccer.

Speaker 1 First question, are you guys going to win the World Cup?

Speaker 6 Well, that's the plan.

Speaker 1 Okay. Guarantee it so that we get headlines.

Speaker 1 I don't want to jinx anything.

Speaker 1 That's the plan.

Speaker 3 You're guaranteeing it's the plan to win the World Cup. Would you rather win a World Cup or a gold medal in the Olympics?

Speaker 6 Well, I'm going to say a World Cup right now because it's about a month away. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are you guys in the group of death?

Speaker 6 Actually, not this year. Okay.
I feel like the U.S. always draws the group of death.
I feel like with the youth teams every time, like all across every age group, we draw the group of death. But

Speaker 6 no, I don't think we have it this year.

Speaker 1 So this year it's your group is USA.

Speaker 1 I should say our group because we are Americans as well. Thailand, Chile, Sweden.

Speaker 3 Thailand is

Speaker 1 who's the best out of that group besides you guys. Obviously U.S.
is the best.

Speaker 6 Sweden, they actually usually like U.S. has drawn them a lot in the groups.
And

Speaker 6 that's who knocked us out when we were in the Olympics.

Speaker 6 So I would say that they're going to be, they're probably going to be the toughest one, but I feel like you can't sleep on any team.

Speaker 1 When you guys, so I'm always curious about this, like a team, U.S. is obviously, the women's team is very, very good.

Speaker 1 You guys, I feel like you win the World Cup every single year or every single four years. They should do it every two years.

Speaker 1 Do you get frustrated, though? Do teams oftentimes park the bus to proveral bus on the U.S. and basically make it impossible for you guys to score?

Speaker 6 I mean, I've only been on the team for,

Speaker 1 this is my third year now, and there's definitely some teams that park the bus but I think a lot of teams have gotten a lot better and they don't need to do that right China's a big bus parker yeah what if it's like if they put like ten yeah people in the box I've always been curious what happens like from uh on on your side if a team is like we are basically gonna just play a game that is completely boring and put everyone in the box and just hope they don't score is that frustrating as hell yeah Yeah, it is very frustrating.

Speaker 6 But I mean, I think at the same time, you can't you can't let your frustration show. Like,

Speaker 6 you gotta find a way to score. And

Speaker 6 it's kind of a mentality. So if you let your emotions get, like, too wrapped up in it, I would definitely reply.

Speaker 1 Just start screaming at me.

Speaker 1 I'm not trying.

Speaker 1 You're not even trying to score a goal.

Speaker 3 The thing I like about women's soccer more so than men's soccer is there's actually less flopping in women's soccer. Why do you think that is?

Speaker 6 I don't know. I think because we want to keep playing.

Speaker 6 Yeah. I don't know.
Yeah. I don't enjoy watching the flopping.
And I there actually is some

Speaker 6 countries that flop more than others.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Or a little more.

Speaker 1 Brazil.

Speaker 6 I'll let you guys

Speaker 1 figure it out yourself. Brazil.
Yeah. But

Speaker 6 yeah, I feel like women are much less theatrical

Speaker 1 than men.

Speaker 3 They're tougher soccer players, in my opinion.

Speaker 3 And if you, if you look at the group we're in, you say it's Chile, Thailand, Hank, and Sweden, when you get ready to play a team like Thailand or Sweden, where you might, I'm assuming maybe you've picked up on some Spanish along the way playing soccer as long as you did, but no, not really?

Speaker 3 None. Do you prepare at all, like a little bit of trash talk, for any of the teams in these new languages?

Speaker 6 I've actually never been a trash talker.

Speaker 1 Ever. Ever.
Okay. Yeah.
It's the meanest thing you said to someone.

Speaker 1 You stick.

Speaker 1 We need to get you trash talker.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I know. You guys might have to prep me before I head out.

Speaker 1 We'll maybe send you a list of the weaknesses of all the other teams.

Speaker 3 Two no es bueno chile. Yeah.
You're not good, Chile. Oh, speaking of chile, you're from Cincinnati.
Do you like Skyline?

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you? That's a special joke.

Speaker 3 That is absolutely.

Speaker 1 Well, PFT actually likes it as a joke.

Speaker 3 I like it once a year as a joke, but yeah, it's good once a year to warm up the guts a little bit.

Speaker 1 You've been, it's Stockholm Syndrome, the entire city of Cincinnati. You guys all are raised to think that it's good chili, and then you go out in the world.
Oh, good.

Speaker 1 Like, you should actually bring some skyline chili to France. See how that plays.

Speaker 6 I will. Have you had some skyline chili dip?

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 3 It's just skyline chili that you're doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just trying to figure out a different way to be able to get some skyline chili dip.

Speaker 6 You guys, you put some cream cheese on the bottom, then you put the chili on top, then the cheese.

Speaker 3 So it's seven-layer dip, except six of the layers are just skyline chili.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Guys, you need to get on it. I don't like that.
No, that's awful.

Speaker 1 So a big thing on last World Cup that was in North North America was the grass versus the turf controversy. Do you play on a lot of turf in

Speaker 1 the regular league?

Speaker 6 And then I base all.

Speaker 6 There's a couple teams that have turf fields. I'm trying to think.

Speaker 6 Actually, it might just be one now.

Speaker 1 Is it noticeably different?

Speaker 1 How much harder it is on your body or whatever it may be? I mean,

Speaker 1 I'm not really an athlete anymore, so I'm retired. But I would assume that it sucks to play on the turf.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it does. It's a lot harder.
So like,

Speaker 6 it feels like you're just running on such hard ground. And then the turf burns.
Like, anytime you slide, you're getting all types of cut up. Yep.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, it's definitely.

Speaker 6 I feel way worse the day after if I play on turf.

Speaker 1 And then the socks are pebbles. You get the pebbles.
Oh, my God. Tire pebbles that get in your shoes.
What about the actual passing of like when you try to pass?

Speaker 1 Is the ball obviously moves a lot differently?

Speaker 6 It depends on the turf, but yeah, sometimes it's like it's a lot faster. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Sometimes it's a lot like bouncier too

Speaker 1 so yeah i mean it depends on the turf but um there's no turf in france right heck no all right there we go

Speaker 3 regular regular grass love it love it how would you describe the u.s style of play because i feel like Really elite teams have to have like a phrase that they're associated with.

Speaker 3 Like in men's soccer, it's what Tiki-taka for Spain?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I think they're trying.

Speaker 1 U.S. just

Speaker 3 did not participate. Yeah, yeah.
But for you guys, how would you describe the U.S. women's national team style of play?

Speaker 6 I think we're kind of just like

Speaker 6 we're very transitional and we want to wear you down. Okay.

Speaker 1 Goal scoring. Now, this is a gambling question because we will be gambling on the U.S.
Women's World Cup. Do you like to score goals? I like to score goals.

Speaker 3 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 That's a good question. Great.

Speaker 1 Take the over.

Speaker 3 Take the over on every single game.

Speaker 1 They're trying to score goals.

Speaker 1 There are some teams that do not try to score goals, and I hate those teams.

Speaker 3 They park the bus. They park the bus.
But we are the bus.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What's your favorite set piece?

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 corner kick or like 10 yards outside the box?

Speaker 6 I do. I like the shooting free kicks.

Speaker 6 The one where you can kind of got to play with the goalie a little.

Speaker 1 Direct kick? Yeah, what's the spot where you're like, I got this? Like, what's your zone, your heat map zone? If Rose gets a free kick at this point in the field, lights out. You're getting scored on.

Speaker 6 Oh, gosh. Well, that's a lot of pressure on me.
I don't know. I like the ones where I can just curl it with my left foot.
Nice.

Speaker 6 Away from the goalie.

Speaker 3 Away from the goalie. So a kick that swings out, not in.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How do you curl it?

Speaker 3 Dumb question.

Speaker 6 You hit it a certain way with your foot.

Speaker 1 So can you basically just tell the ball where to go at this point in your career?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I like whisper to it. You just before I pass.

Speaker 1 At what point, like, you know, high school, college, to the pros, were you like, I can basically just do whatever I want with this ball?

Speaker 6 I don't know if there was ever a moment where I was like.

Speaker 1 You were just born exceptional.

Speaker 6 I think maybe I just got better every year. So it didn't seem like it was sudden.
It was more growing.

Speaker 1 Well, I love that part of soccer. Like, I mean, we're a messy podcast.
You're a messy fan. Like, the way he can basically just dribble and it looks like the ball is attached to his foot.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's insane. Yeah, I love that.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 When you get up to take a penalty shot, do you know where it's going? Do you know where you're going to put it before you even step into the button?

Speaker 3 Like before the game, you're like, if I get a PK, I'm putting it top left, or do you make that decision based on how shook the goalie looks?

Speaker 6 Um, it depends because I feel like the goalie a lot of times is reading off of me too.

Speaker 6 Um, a lot of times, I'll have my decision made already, but if I see that the goalie's cheating a little, then I might switch it up.

Speaker 1 So, you do you switch it up like last second?

Speaker 6 Yeah, if they're cheating that hard, then yeah, okay, take what they give you.

Speaker 1 What's your, what's your how many have you missed career-wise?

Speaker 6 Um,

Speaker 6 I don't know. Maybe

Speaker 6 I have no clue. Maybe four or five.

Speaker 1 If we were in goal, how many could we stop?

Speaker 3 I used to play goalie, so keep that in mind.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wow. I own a team.
Uh-huh, he owns a team.

Speaker 1 My first move would be to put him in goalie.

Speaker 1 I can leap. You wouldn't know

Speaker 1 because I worked nine out of ten.

Speaker 3 But my vert, I think, is like 29, 29 inches. What's your wings for?

Speaker 1 Not very big enough numbers.

Speaker 3 Six feet. I got long arms, considering I'm only 5'10.

Speaker 6 all things considering i think

Speaker 6 maybe you could get your fingertips on one maybe okay i'll take that here's here's

Speaker 1 here's something good for pft why does it uh seem like uh most soccer players are shorter like it's a short person's game is it a short person's game i feel like i'm i feel like really tall i'm short and i don't feel that way i don't understand

Speaker 1 why are there no 6'6 soccer players um

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a great question. I feel

Speaker 1 like you can't jump up and do headers, but maybe I'm way wrong.

Speaker 3 So they do, like, a lot of defenders are a little bit taller, but the shorter guys, you take long strides, you can't dribble the ball as much, so you sacrifice control. That's true.
That's my theory.

Speaker 3 That's a good point. I'm going to run with that.
What's your favorite method of recovering from an injury?

Speaker 3 Is it the sponge that's soaking in the bucket of water, or is it the ice spray that doesn't do anything?

Speaker 1 Or is it the K-tape?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I actually love the KT tape.

Speaker 3 Did you mean to do that? Because that's what she's plugging.

Speaker 1 Oh, the KT tape. Of course.

Speaker 3 I love it when they bring bring the bucket with the sponge in it out on the field some guy has just like suffered a severe knee injury and they put the sponge on his leg he's like that oh perfect and then they're like spread it again

Speaker 6 now the kt tape will actually fix it yeah um yeah i actually don't do that spray stuff um i do do the kt tape helps keep i i tore my hamstring like a year and a half ago

Speaker 3 i broke my foot

Speaker 6 it wasn't fun um but the kt tape is great i feel like it kind of gives me a little extra boost on the field Can you just put it anywhere on your butt?

Speaker 1 Like, I have a bad back.

Speaker 3 Can I just put KT tape just to work?

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead. I've gotten fat recently.

Speaker 3 Can I just put it on my stomach?

Speaker 1 It's magical tape.

Speaker 1 I'll try. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'll get back to you and let you know how to do it. Did you bring any of it?

Speaker 6 We do have some. Oh, yeah, strap.

Speaker 1 Okay, nice. I'm going to get some stuff.
I'll hook you up.

Speaker 1 I will definitely try out the KT tape.

Speaker 3 Do you have to wear those GPS things during the games?

Speaker 3 That must suck because you can't slack off and get away with it.

Speaker 8 More so,

Speaker 6 it doesn't suck, but like in practice, if we don't hit certain numbers, then we'll have to do extra runs.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 3 See, I was really good at

Speaker 3 running when the coach was looking at me. And then we turn away, I'd just start walking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see, that's probably why I didn't.

Speaker 6 You could get away with that now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you're walking on the field, though, because that is part of soccer, is walking. Are you ever like, this is kind of nice? I'm just walking.

Speaker 6 Yeah, sometimes when I'm really tired. Like, wow, what a nice break.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I don't understand spacing in soccer.

Speaker 1 Is there ever a time where you're like, fuck it, I'm just going to go off like Kobe and I'm just going to run everywhere?

Speaker 1 But you have to stay in your zone.

Speaker 6 No, there's like definitely freedom with what you do. Okay.
I think you just have to read the game.

Speaker 1 Got it. So like, all right, if you get yelled at,

Speaker 1 do you ever get yelled at because like, hey, Rose, what the hell was that? You just went off script there.

Speaker 6 Well, if it was really stupid of me, then, yeah. But I feel like most times when people go off script, there's a re like, there's a reason they see it.
There's like something they see.

Speaker 1 But I like the part of soccer that's interesting to me is when you're watching it and like someone goes off script and maybe loses their formation and then like a team will score two minutes later and it's like, yeah, because he went out of position two minutes ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's definitely happened to me before. Oh, it has.
Yeah. And they're like, what the hell? Like that was, you screwed everything up.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, but then the times that it works, it works, you know?

Speaker 1 That's the Kobe mentality. I like that.

Speaker 3 And you look really good in film when you're watching that. You're like, you took a chance here and it worked off when you freelance.
Like Patrick Willis used to do that a lot.

Speaker 3 He had a nose for the ball. Yes.
And so when he'd do it, he'd be right.

Speaker 3 I got a question about the video review system that they just put in our VAR. That seems like it's really gone off in a direction that nobody really anticipated.

Speaker 3 Like they're taking goals off the scoreboard now, you know, like 30 seconds a minute after they're scored. Have you noticed a difference?

Speaker 3 Like, does that annoy you if plays slowed down because of the VAR system?

Speaker 6 Well, so we haven't actually experienced ourselves yet. It It will be in the World Cup, which will be super nice, but I haven't had a game where that's implemented.

Speaker 6 But no, I think it'll be great because I feel like

Speaker 6 PK calls

Speaker 6 will change the game

Speaker 6 and like have changed the game before. So I think it's nice now that you have something that can review it and make sure it was or wasn't a PK.

Speaker 6 And then at the same time, it's also like, gotta be careful in the box because you can go back and like they can get you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, they'll get you yeah yeah have you ever gotten a red card no ah

Speaker 1 so here's

Speaker 1 get a red card in the first game establish a little bit of a bad girl street cred yeah people like don't fuck with rose yeah and then i can't play the next game oh is that perfect oh yeah this next game shit all right don't do that in the very first game yeah that way you can come back and you'll have fresh legs for the quarterfinals Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 I love it. Impacts.
Yeah. Do you have an EPL team?

Speaker 6 I've been cheering cheering for Liverpool recently.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's convenient. What are they at the top of the table?

Speaker 6 Real convenient, isn't it? Interesting.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it.

Speaker 1 You're a Badger. I'm a Badger.
Why don't we just talk about how awesome it is to be a Badger? Oh, my God. Okay, I love this.
Yeah. Let's go.
It's the best.

Speaker 1 Did you win a lot of games?

Speaker 6 We did win a decent amount of games.

Speaker 1 Did we win any Big Ten championships?

Speaker 6 We did my sophomore and junior year.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 I need to update the standings so I can let everyone know. Yeah.
We've won a lot of. Who did we beat the shit out of? Like, did we beat Ohio State?

Speaker 6 We beat Ohio State, yeah. Good.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Michigan.
Who is who is. Yeah.
I hate Michigan, too.

Speaker 3 Michigan's the worst.

Speaker 1 They think they're better than everyone. They do.
It must have sucked, though, playing in Madison in, like, I don't know, March, April.

Speaker 6 We actually had my sophomore year, one of our NCAA games, we were playing, and it was like torrential snowpour.

Speaker 6 I think we were playing in like three inches of snow, and they had to shovel the lines at halftime. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't imagine playing a spring sport in Madison. Yeah.
Well, this was a fall sport but fall sport wait is not spring soccer it's fall depends on where you are in college

Speaker 1 oh fuck i fucked that up uh-huh why do i think it was spring i don't know it seems like a spring sport does doesn't it i remember that we the u.s not great either weather-wise so it works the u.s benz team played a game against costa rica one time in like six inches of snow

Speaker 3 this is not soccer yeah this is my problem

Speaker 1 my problem with soccer is that i just never know like the season starts and ends like the epl starts in august and goes all the way till May I just never really and then there's tournaments great though it's like 24-7 soccer yeah I mean listen it is great but it feels like we need to get a little bit more on the same page as a country of when soccer season is we're very dumb right if you can't figure that out

Speaker 1 we're trying to sell the sport you mean you two or a man no no

Speaker 1 we are the perfect like

Speaker 1 you know embodiment of I would say a regular sports fan that likes soccer but doesn't fully understand it uh-huh You know what I mean? Yeah. And I enjoy it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But a lot of times I'm watching being like, why aren't people scoring? Like, why don't you kick from like 30 feet out or 30 yards out?

Speaker 1 Like, you should just kick that and score. Just score a goal.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I never understood that. It's like, no one's around you.
Just fucking kick it in the goal here. Yeah.
But then I realized it's probably a lot harder than it looks.

Speaker 6 Yeah. I mean, you probably do it.
You own a team. Hell yes.

Speaker 1 You do.

Speaker 1 She's learning, yeah.

Speaker 3 So when the refs bring out the spray, I assume that you like the new spray thing where where

Speaker 3 they know this is a different spray.

Speaker 1 Soccer spray,

Speaker 3 the spray where the wall

Speaker 3 the wall can't inch closer to the ball anymore. You probably like that a lot, right?

Speaker 6 I mean, yeah, I guess it's a good marker for you.

Speaker 3 Like, if you're taking the kick, it's like I can bend it around these guys.

Speaker 3 But if they, if it was, you know, five years ago, they would creep up where it was five yards away from me and cut down the angle on me.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 so you've done a lot of interviews.

Speaker 1 Are we the dumbest interview

Speaker 1 people you've had today?

Speaker 6 No, no, no.

Speaker 3 What are the other questions they've been asking?

Speaker 6 Similar.

Speaker 6 They also have been asking me about the foam spray. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Shit. Well, then I guess we're not using that.

Speaker 3 What's the best question you've been asked today by anybody?

Speaker 6 The best question?

Speaker 1 This is a trick we do. Then you say it, and then we cut it, and then we re-ask it.

Speaker 3 Oh. Yep.
This part's never going to air.

Speaker 6 The best question? Probably something about my dog.

Speaker 3 How's your dog doing?

Speaker 1 Oh, is your dog single?

Speaker 3 I'm a minister, so I can marry your dog to somebody.

Speaker 1 What's your dog's name?

Speaker 6 Wilma.

Speaker 1 Wilma. That's a great name for a bulldog.
See, I think actually it's kind of a cheat code. People get bulldogs because bulldog names are so much easier and they're always great.

Speaker 1 Like, you just get a bulldog, you name it George, and you're like, that's fucking awesome. Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 6 It's kind of like, no, you have to be smart with what you name your bulldog. It can't be something lame.

Speaker 1 No, it's got to be a fat name.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I'm serious. It does have to be a name.
Wilma is a fat name.

Speaker 3 Give me an example of a bad name for a bulldog.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 Steve. No great player.
Steve is good, right? Steve is not fair because bulldogs are like this. Minnie.
Sarah. Minnie? No, Minnie is a great name for a bulldog.

Speaker 6 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 That's Minnie? That's Minnie. You're a bulldog?

Speaker 1 That's like Biggie Small's coming.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, no. I want someone to tell me the name of the bulldog and me be like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Rebecca.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I love it.

Speaker 1 See, this is not fair.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 Bulldog owners cheat because if you see a bulldog and you just say the name, you're like, that's awesome. That's bullshit.
Chester.

Speaker 1 Great name.

Speaker 1 Great name.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, my God.
I know a bulldog named Walter.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. Great name.

Speaker 6 I feel like that's a classic Bulldog name.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Walter Winston.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Winston.

Speaker 1 Leroy.

Speaker 3 It's just a great name for a new dog.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. I have a dog named Leroy.
All right, I got one last one.

Speaker 1 I got one last question. It's a seek geek question.
You put in promo code TIKE, you get $10 off. 10 Euros? France on Euros? Quid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 10.

Speaker 1 10 Euros off to go see the U.S. women's team play in France this summer.
Cool. Seat Geek.
I think they have Seat Geek in France. I don't know.
All right, this was a terrible ad.

Speaker 1 Can you actually, those, just say real quick, I guarantee you that we win the World Cup?

Speaker 6 I really don't want to jinx anything. I'm superstitious.

Speaker 1 Where are the games all in France or is it another country, too?

Speaker 6 No, it's all France. Just different cities.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Do you know where your first games are?

Speaker 1 Where are you guys going to be located? Like, Like, where's the game?

Speaker 6 That's a great question.

Speaker 1 Oh, you haven't even made the team yet, have you?

Speaker 6 It'll get announced this week.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Best of luck.

Speaker 1 Yikes. Uh-oh.
Just try to play this. It's going to be awkward.

Speaker 1 That'd be cool. No, I actually looked it up before, and you were under the virtual lock category.
Well, thank God. Yeah, there's nobody else.
Let me know.

Speaker 1 There's virtual locks, then there's maybe's, then there were probably nots. Wow.
So you were virtual lock.

Speaker 1 Well, thank god he told me that.

Speaker 6 I feel a little more secure now.

Speaker 3 My last actual soccer-related question, as a relative newcomer to the team, as one of the younger players, how do you go about trying to break into that lineup to get some playing time?

Speaker 3 Like in practice, are you separated mostly to, you know, you've got the starters and then you've got some of the newer players and you have to really show out on the B squad, for lack of a better term?

Speaker 3 Or how do you get that crack at the top level?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, I think it's like it's such a deep team and there's like such a big talent pool.

Speaker 6 And I think every practice is like super competitive. So it's kind of like what you're bringing during practice and like

Speaker 6 if you're making the most of the opportunities you get if you go in the game too.

Speaker 6 I think a lot of things play into it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Who are your friends on the team?

Speaker 6 Sonnet, Sam, Lindsay, Mal, Andy Sullivan.

Speaker 3 Who's your enemies?

Speaker 3 I have no enemies. No enemies? You said it's hyper-competitive.
Who do you think?

Speaker 1 Who is really smart? Who's the smartest

Speaker 1 patcher?

Speaker 3 Who's the fiercest competitor on the team?

Speaker 6 Kelly O'Hara and Sonit are both very competitive.

Speaker 1 They go for it. Yeah, they go for it.
Like that.

Speaker 1 They're the people you look to, and

Speaker 1 when the cards go down, you're like, all right, let's go.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Sonnet's kind of psycho.

Speaker 1 Love that.

Speaker 3 You need one. Yeah, who's the enforcer on the team?

Speaker 6 The enforcer. What do you mean by that?

Speaker 1 Like when Thailand starts coming at your knees. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You need someone. When Marx is flopping out there and you need somebody screaming her face.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 6 JJ's like the ankle crunch. Like she's going to tackle the

Speaker 1 ball. And the ball.
Yeah. Ball first.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Watch out for JJ.

Speaker 1 Don't even try to beat her. Don't even try to be.
I won't.

Speaker 3 I was going to. No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't even bother.

Speaker 6 Not even you. You own a team, but don't.

Speaker 1 Okay, I won't. Yeah, yeah.
I won't.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll sign her. All right,

Speaker 3 last question.

Speaker 1 Say where you like to shoot your penalty kicks, and then

Speaker 3 do it reverse where you actually do it.

Speaker 1 So that way, when Thailand and Sweden and all these people listen to this podcast, they think they got the book out on you, but they don't.

Speaker 1 You love to kick it

Speaker 1 right at the goalie. Right at the goalie.
Every time.

Speaker 1 No matter what. Over the goal or right at the goalie, you don't even have to move when Rose is getting up there for the PK.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Perfect. Oh, I do have one last question.
This is our trick, by the way. We just say we have one last question.
We just keep going.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Where does the hand start for a handball? Like, is this a handball on my shoulder?

Speaker 1 Is this a handball?

Speaker 6 I feel like it, honestly, it's at the discretion of the ref.

Speaker 3 Are the robots now?

Speaker 3 Are these French refs?

Speaker 6 Um, they'll be from all over the place.

Speaker 1 Okay, who are yeah, I know. Remember that, remember that uh, uh, when they had the Olympics and the ice skating, and wasn't it the France, the French refs like through the whole thing?

Speaker 3 The Russian 98, the Russian Japanese, but wasn't the French ref, like, part of it. That was the Canadian thing, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Canadians one, just watching the ref. I don't trust them, just watch them.
Yeah, the frogs. I don't trust them, yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, we in competent. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was the last question.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for coming in. Appreciate it.
Best of luck. Thank you.
Guaranteed victory.

Speaker 3 You heard it here first.

Speaker 1 You heard it here first. Guaranteed victory.

Speaker 1 Best of luck, though. This will be a lot of fun.
We're very excited for the World Cup.

Speaker 3 And to gamble on you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Yes.
Hope I make you some money.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up,

Speaker 1 Hard Knocks was announced. The Raiders are hosting Hard Knocks.
Hosting? Featured?

Speaker 3 They are the featured featured team this year.

Speaker 1 Featured team.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. You're excited.

Speaker 3 Real sex hard knocks.

Speaker 1 It is going to be something else to watch. There are so many characters, so we're going to just talk about some of the storylines we expect from hard knocks this season.
You want to start?

Speaker 3 I'll go first. I'm

Speaker 3 very excited to see both John Gruden and Mark Davis getting a haircut.

Speaker 3 Possibly just cutting each other's hair at the same time. Like the 69 equivalent equivalent of haircuts.

Speaker 1 Like maybe a nice James Brown song underneath, and they do that cool thing where Lee Schreiber hops in and he's like, these two brothers have been getting their hair cut together for the last 30 years.

Speaker 1 It's Mark Davis and John Gruden.

Speaker 3 I have butter knives just swiping madly at each other's heads.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for Tom Cable to fight someone, probably Richie Incognito, on the offensive line.

Speaker 3 That's definitely going to happen.

Speaker 1 That's 100% going to. Have you ever looked at Tom Cable and his offensive line ratings? Oh, yes.
He's a really bad coach.

Speaker 3 When he was with the Seahawks, he didn't even...

Speaker 3 His way of not having a bad offensive line was to take players that didn't play offensive line and then try to teach them how to block. And fight them.
And fight them, yeah.

Speaker 3 Punch the biggest motherfucker in the room.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he is a very bad coach. I remember when he was on the Raiders a while back, didn't he punch

Speaker 3 Hugh Jackson?

Speaker 1 He punched one of the members of the coaching. He was a lot of players, yeah.

Speaker 1 I can't remember, but he's, yeah, he's a very bad coach, and he also will be great hard knocks fodder because he basically has a job simply

Speaker 1 people are scared of him.

Speaker 3 Yep, that's really it. His job is to be a football guy.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to the montage of the new stadium built in Las Vegas. Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 3 So, if you like stadium montages where they're changing from hockey to basketball and back to hockey, a brand new stadium from the ground up is going to just give me six to midnight in my pants.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's going to be good. I'm very excited to see Antonio Brown and Derek Carr have an awkward relationship where they try to convince everyone they're actually friends when they really aren't.

Speaker 1 And then throw in the mix John Grugin also hating Derek Carr and not knowing what to do with Antonio Brown.

Speaker 3 Not understanding Antonio Brown because he's insane. Yeah.
And he's going to show up with that gold milk mustache like he's been chugging paint like he's an offensive lineman at a hockey game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a lot of new rookies too. So there's going to be a lot of rookie storylines.

Speaker 1 One of them probably, yeah, one of them probably

Speaker 1 just got married or is engaged and we'll get one of those scenes where they always are like, you know, they're just trying to figure it out in this new city.

Speaker 3 I was looking at the list of players of the undrafted free agents on Big If True yesterday. There's Alec Ingold, the fullback from Wisconsin, finalist for the low man trophy.

Speaker 3 Gruden is going to love him. Gruden is going to find a way to get that guy playing time somehow.

Speaker 3 And then there was some guy who he was already a senior. So it means that he's got a kid.
And Hard Knox cameras love

Speaker 3 an undrafted free agent with a child.

Speaker 1 And they always get cut.

Speaker 3 Yeah. They always get cut.
I hope he doesn't.

Speaker 1 We're also going to see Deuce Gruden somewhere in the background. Deuce.
At some point, hopefully. And Mike Mayok being, I don't know what Mike Mayok's going to do.

Speaker 1 Just trying not to get yelled at by John Gruden.

Speaker 3 Just hiding from John Gruden in the hallways.

Speaker 1 My big prediction from this is people are going to be like, man, John Gruden really does have a good handle on this. We gave him a bad, you know, he's got a bad rap.

Speaker 3 I don't think that John Gruden's going to allow cameras anywhere.

Speaker 3 Well, he has to. But I don't know what the rules are, like where he has to allow them.

Speaker 1 He's going to fuck up.

Speaker 3 He's going to fuck up. We actually might get a scene where he attacks a cameraman.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 There's actually a few people on this roster that will attack a cameraman. For sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Either way, it's going to be.

Speaker 3 They're going to sign Dennis Rodman.

Speaker 1 It's the perfect hard knocks team. Like, I didn't know how they would one-up from the Browns.

Speaker 3 This is it. This is going to be perfect for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And they do it all in Napa, too, which is great.

Speaker 3 A lot of people are saying that Leroy messed up because he reported it was going to be the Detroit Lions.

Speaker 3 But what my sources are telling me, and Leroy about this, is that it was going to be the Detroit Lions. And the league got so much blowback.
They're like, no, they're a boring team.

Speaker 3 Nobody wants it to be Detroit that they decided to switch it up.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's how inside he is? Yeah. That he knows.
No, he's plugged in. He's plugged in.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's very plugged in. Also, he's having surgery right now as you're listening to this.
So boop. Shout out Leroy.

Speaker 1 One boop. One.

Speaker 1 Unsubscribe and resubscribe. One boop.
Just for Leroy.

Speaker 3 For Leroy.

Speaker 1 All right. We need to talk a little U.S.
Open, Open, talking golf. Brooks Kepka, our guy,

Speaker 1 didn't finish great, wore an awesome hat. But most importantly, the course

Speaker 1 is being a little bit of a wussy, a pussy.

Speaker 3 Baby back bitch.

Speaker 1 Yes. Maybe.
Because the course got run up and down. Many guys under par.
I think minus five is leading right now. Not my U.S.
Open course.

Speaker 3 No, the players ran a train on the course. If I'm the course right now, I'm having a players-only meeting tonight.
I'm regrouping, maybe release a pack of wild dogs out there.

Speaker 3 Let them just tear the place up a little bit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's a record amount of Eagles score tonight.

Speaker 3 Disgusting. Not my U.S.
Open.

Speaker 1 Now they're going to do the thing where they make the pins way in the back, right by a bunker, and everyone complains about that. But I don't care.

Speaker 1 I want even Parr to win my U.S.

Speaker 5 Open.

Speaker 1 Or even shitty golf. Yeah, I want awful golf.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I want one guy that figures out how to use the course, and the rest of them just threatening to kill themselves in their own clubs out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some, like me, I don't know, Ernie Ells or what's the other guy that everyone fucking hates? People don't hate Ernie Ells.

Speaker 1 Kucher. No, no, no, no, no.
No, people don't hate Kucher.

Speaker 3 His cattle is too.

Speaker 1 Oh, Poulter.

Speaker 1 He would complain about it. He would definitely complain about it and be like, this is bullshit.
This is USGA's bullshit.

Speaker 3 It's a Mickey Mouse course.

Speaker 3 I like it a lot better when we're playing over in Scotland where the greens are made out of sand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so there would definitely be, yeah, some foreign guy would definitely complain and be like, well, the course is too hard. That's what I want for the U.S.
Open.

Speaker 3 I like my golf link style where it's just wheat everywhere and bunkers that you could fill with radioactive waste and not discover for another 20 years.

Speaker 1 Recurring guest, Ricky Fowler is in the lead, right? Yes. Wow.
That's true. Could Ricky win his first major?

Speaker 3 So I have a theory of how they could improve the course, especially if it's in Northern California. Humboldt County is right next door.
Get some of those farmers to come over.

Speaker 3 Instead of fescue, plant a bunch of cannabis, a bunch of hemp. That'd be tough to whack your way out of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I also this like showing like the deer running around. Those are fake deer.
They're just fucking putting the deer in there.

Speaker 1 There was a deer literally running like down the like. There's no chance.
I've been to a you. I've been to two U.S.
opens. There's just so many people.
Deer don't just run around.

Speaker 3 No, are you saying that they're adding in CGI deer? No, I'm saying there's a guy animatronic in a deer suit.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying a guy's standing on the beach with a big fucking truck of deer and just letting them loose. I don't mind that, actually.
That's all that's happening.

Speaker 3 I don't mind that.

Speaker 3 I would say bring more. Bring some gators out.
It's not golf until a gator gets involved.

Speaker 1 Gators, maybe get a couple of whales to jump up in the ocean right there. I'm sure they'll do some shit like that.

Speaker 3 Well, they did have dogs on the beach next to like the 17th hole. That was sick.
That was pretty cool. That is cool.
I want to see it all coming down to the 17th, 18th hole on Sunday afternoon.

Speaker 3 Brooks is trying to putt, and there's just a big great Dane taking a huge shit on the beach in the background.

Speaker 1 And like some naked fat dude with a tiny wiener. And then just walking around.

Speaker 3 Joe Buck looks at the dog taking a shit. I have never seen anything more disgusting in my life.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. People, Lambo, are shocked.

Speaker 1 All right, before we get to license to Jill, quickly, we need to introduce something that we're going to bring

Speaker 1 around for football season. But explain it to people because it took over Twitter for basically half the day today.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so Big Cat and I got tagged in a tweet this morning, and it was from a listener at Nads Not Nerbs, award-winning listener, and he was taking over a desk from a co-worker who had retired and going through some of the old paperwork that was being left behind.

Speaker 3 He stumbled across a 3x5 index card. No big deal.
Some people take notes on things.

Speaker 3 He looked at the 3x5 index card. It was a list of the most random group of quarterbacks that you could think of.
And we love random quarterbacks. Yes.

Speaker 3 From the year 2011 to about 2015 with different tally marks.

Speaker 1 John Skelton and Ryan Lindley.

Speaker 3 And he tagged us in this and asked us if we could figure out what the common thread was, what this 3x5 index card could possibly mean. Because just I'll read you a couple.

Speaker 3 Mark Sanchez, he had three tally marks next to him. Tim Tebow had one.
Tom Brady had one. Phillip Rivers had five.
Cam Newton had four. John Skelton had one.

Speaker 3 Sexy Rexy had one. Colin Kaepernick had two.
There was.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers, not on the list. And Russian Wilson.
Russell Wilson, not on the list.

Speaker 3 Alex Smith, not on the list. E.J.
Manuel, one tally mark. Andrew Luck, two tally marks.
So we were looking at this. I probably spent a good hour and a half

Speaker 3 just staring at it. I got so far that I was counting, I counted 65 tally marks, and I was like, well, wait a second.
Charles Woodson had 65 interceptions. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Speaker 3 No, that's not true because Peyton Mang's on here twice. Yeah, Peyton Mang's on here once, and Charles Woodson picked him off twice.

Speaker 3 And so I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on with this thing.

Speaker 1 I did the, I Googled, literally Googled, what do John Skelton and Philip Rivers have in common?

Speaker 1 I was like, this will figure it out.

Speaker 3 They're white guys.

Speaker 1 This will have never won a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 That's how dependent on Google I am.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so we spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Speaker 3 Eventually, the guy got in touch with his old coworker who retired, and the coworker said that this was a list from a weekly kind of, I don't know what you want to call it.

Speaker 3 It was a game that they used to play or an award that they used to hand out just in the office called the Jake. And the Jake award went out every week to the quarterback that played the worst.

Speaker 3 So usually it was the most interceptions per week. Now, why was it called the Jake?

Speaker 3 That's because it was named after Jake DeLome when he threw that four-interception playoff game, had all those turnovers on his birthday. That was on Jake DeLome's birthday.

Speaker 3 So they decided to create an award named the Jake, bonus points for the quarterback if they fucked up really badly on their own.

Speaker 3 Then they would automatically win the Jake award for that week. So I think

Speaker 3 we have to continue this tradition. It will have been lost to the ages.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we will be giving out the Jake now in the football season every single week and doing a little bit about it.

Speaker 1 But it is, that is, the reason why I love this is not only because this guy tweeted us and was like, crack this code. Uh-huh.
And we couldn't. And essentially,

Speaker 1 everyone that follows us was spent their time trying to figure this out.

Speaker 1 But more than that, this is just quintessential. I hate my job.
Let's come up with something stupid that we can have that's ours for five minutes every Monday. Yes, exactly.
And that's the Jake.

Speaker 3 Exactly. It's It's like, you remember that old ESPN commercial where they play shelf ball? Yeah.
Where you bounce a ball into a shelf and won't a single double triple home run?

Speaker 3 Every office has this like stupid game that you get into to pass the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know the people, literally, the guy would drive into his office Monday morning, probably hated his life, hated everything, but he knew for five minutes he was going to get to talk to a couple of his coworkers about the Jake.

Speaker 1 Give him the Jake this week.

Speaker 3 Who's getting the Jake? Who's going to get the Jake tomorrow?

Speaker 1 Monday night still. We still got Monday night.
Someone might not get the the Jake.

Speaker 3 That's right. You have to award it on Tuesday.
There are probably even some side bets going on in the office of who they thought the guy was going to award the Jake tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 we will do that. We'll nominate.
Everyone will have to pick a Jake every week and see how many we can get right. Yep.
So that was fantastic. We'll tweet it out again, but it was fucking hilarious.

Speaker 1 Like, just one of those weird, quirky things. It's very relatable trying to pass the time with football in the fall.

Speaker 3 And also just some of the names on this list.

Speaker 1 Just crack me. Brian Lindley and John Skelton.
That's all you need right now. Tyler Palco.

Speaker 3 Tyler Palco was on there. That was insane name.
He was one of the keys.

Speaker 3 It was like, if you can figure out what Tyler Palco, Jake Locker, Josh McCown, and Matt Schaub all have in common, then you can figure out what the meaning behind this 3x5 is.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 All right, let's finish up with our intern, Jilly Football. Okay, let's wrap up Friday's show

Speaker 1 with our intern, extraordinaire.

Speaker 1 Senior intern. Senior intern, not because of her age, but but because of her experience.
And she has been lighting up Twitter. She's a phenomenon.
How many Twitter followers do you have, Jill?

Speaker 8 40,000? 40,000 39,000, maybe?

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's pretty good, starting from scratch.
That's pretty awesome.

Speaker 3 My favorite was the lineup of the remotes, trying to figure out how to get the TV to work for Stanley Cup. You were able to watch Stanley Cup Game 7.
Yes. Very happy that you were able to do that.

Speaker 1 All right, so, Jill, we're going to do our license to Jill segment. Before that, you are our

Speaker 1 ombudsman. I can never say that word.

Speaker 3 Ombudsman. Ombudsman.

Speaker 1 Things that you were not mad about, but disappointed in this week on Pardon My Take.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 So, you know, boys,

Speaker 8 I really like you. Thank you.

Speaker 1 We really like you too. I like you too.
But this is going well. I'm not.

Speaker 8 I'm not mad, but a little disappointed. Nope.

Speaker 8 Very disappointed.

Speaker 8 Last week, my first day on the show,

Speaker 1 I shared it with a lacrosse player. Oh.

Speaker 8 It could have been Zach Afron, but no.

Speaker 8 Lacrosse.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 3 this hair is apart.

Speaker 1 This is a shot at Paul Rabel.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to be mad that we were talking about Phil Mickelson spitting on his dick. No.
Oh, I'm getting there.

Speaker 1 Let's do one at a time, big cat. Paul Rabel.
So you're mad that we made you share with

Speaker 1 the seventh sport in America?

Speaker 3 I do like this, though, because we always used to tell Billy Football, we don't want this going to your head, Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 With you, I want you to become like just.

Speaker 3 I want you to, yeah, come in here with like a robe on Boston people.

Speaker 1 I want a Jill Hive, like a Bayhive.

Speaker 1 I want people to just attack, you know, like Jill Sports. Don't come at Jill.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 She's a queen. But it's lacrosse.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not even a real sport.

Speaker 1 Hey. I'm sorry.
You're making facts. You're saying that.

Speaker 1 I like Paul Raybowl a lot. You were right.

Speaker 3 Guess what? Tomorrow you'll be sharing a podcast with your favorite sport, which is women's soccer.

Speaker 1 Oh, NASCAR. Rose Lavelle.
Oh, NASCAR. I could go NASCAR.

Speaker 1 You got NASCAR?

Speaker 3 You've been watching the Women's World Cup all week, so there you go.

Speaker 1 We'll make up for it. Yeah.
Oh. Okay.

Speaker 1 We've got down.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll be disappointed. The Phil Michaelson dick thing? Oh.

Speaker 8 And you tweeted this out.

Speaker 8 Again, I can't be mad, but disappointed.

Speaker 3 Were you disappointed in just how accurate we were with the description of Phil Nicholson? Because I stand by the fact that he just hawks Lugies on his hog with his boning.

Speaker 1 And he's like, damn, look at this.

Speaker 8 Well, but I couldn't follow it. I mean, I think, you know, I could.

Speaker 1 Okay, you probably haven't watched as much porn as we have. What a Skittles spit.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. That's the part that you got lost at.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right.

Speaker 8 No, spitting on your dicks.

Speaker 8 Spitting, you know, what, filling in the holes or acing the holes.

Speaker 1 I mean, I, you know, whatever.

Speaker 8 I couldn't follow an out, and I don't think I want to follow it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show you,

Speaker 1 we're going to show you Skittle spit. Not anything.

Speaker 1 Skittle spit. It's when you get the gross, like, sugary, and it's very sticky, and then you just spit, and then you can, it, like, like a long, this is terrible.
Yeah. Forget it.

Speaker 3 Well, no, it's like, if you eat a bunch of candy, your saliva becomes, like, easier to suck back up. So you can do the thing where you drop it all the way down to the ground and then it comes back up.

Speaker 1 It spits as easily. We'll do it.

Speaker 1 We'll make a video of it. We'll get some Skittles.
No, you're going to be in the video.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to try it.

Speaker 1 Actually, Jake, why don't you, Jake Marsh, PMT Sports Biz, why don't you go get us some Skittles right now? We'll do this right after this. So Jake is going to go get your darling.

Speaker 1 Jake is going to get us some Skittles. Thank you, darling.
And we'll make the video right after this. All right, so let's do license to Jill.

Speaker 8 Okay, well, we've got to get Jill's phone up.

Speaker 1 Okay. There she is.

Speaker 5 Jill, what what were you telling me about the voices earlier?

Speaker 8 Oh, you know, when I listen to you guys on podcasts,

Speaker 1 I can't tell you a part. Oh, really? Interesting.
But you know our voices. You know who we are.

Speaker 3 I'm the white guy that was born in late January. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's how you can tell.
That cleared it up. That cleared it up.
Cleared it up. Way up.
Okay.

Speaker 3 By the way, close your eyes and we'll both say the same thing. Ready?

Speaker 3 Give me the fucking keys of cocksucker.

Speaker 1 Phil Mickelson spitting on his dick.

Speaker 1 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 8 But that was one and the same.

Speaker 1 Let's do license to Jill. Okay.

Speaker 8 What's up, Jill?

Speaker 8 Who are you rooting for in this year's Blake of the Year? Oh, I want to be Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 Well, unfortunately, you're Jill, so you're already eliminated. So the people up for Blake Griffin,

Speaker 1 who plays for the Detroit Pistons, Blake Bortles, who plays for the Rams, and then Brooks Kepka, which is confusing, but he is a a Blake who is playing in the U.S. Open right now.

Speaker 1 Your vote.

Speaker 1 Bortles. Okay, that's one for

Speaker 1 a bit of a front-running vote on your phone. He's going for back-to-back.

Speaker 8 How do you keep this on?

Speaker 1 Yeah, your phone, yeah.

Speaker 3 You got to change the power settings. Okay.

Speaker 8 Hey, Julie Football, no one noticed your hairstyle is dangerously close to may I speak to a manager haircut.

Speaker 1 Oh, have you ever

Speaker 8 insisted on to talk to a manager?

Speaker 3 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you do that?

Speaker 8 Oh, when I first

Speaker 8 got a haircut, I had long hair.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I had it shorter than yours.

Speaker 8 I spoke to the manager. What are they going to do? Glue it on?

Speaker 1 Oh, you mean, okay.

Speaker 3 You spoke to the manager

Speaker 1 at the hair station.

Speaker 7 Oh, this is different. This is a little bit different.

Speaker 3 This just means like if you're in a customer service situation or if you're at a restaurant and things don't go your way are you are you somebody that that frequently would say may I may I speak to a manager about the situation yeah no okay

Speaker 1 I'm all about

Speaker 1 no okay no you're all about just going with the flow because go with the flow you know if it's

Speaker 1 the waiter it's not their fault probably it is really just there are certain people who have that personality trait where they just complain about everything and they're like managers and they're the president of their homeowner association

Speaker 1 They're the worst. I'm more of a, if I have to talk to a human being, fill out any paperwork, I just don't want the refund.

Speaker 8 You don't like to talk to people?

Speaker 1 No, the refund is not worth it. If you make me fill out anything, like, forget it.
Yeah. It's over.
You got me.

Speaker 3 Also in homeowners associations when they're like, oh, you can't paint your door green.

Speaker 1 Oh, your fence is actually 5'8, and it's, you know, well, no, I'm not going to make a joke.

Speaker 8 Please don't. Thank you.
I've done the homeowners association.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know that. I know all that.

Speaker 1 I just threw it out. No, No, you didn't.
I didn't. I stopped myself.
Because you knew I was 5'9.

Speaker 3 That joke wouldn't have made sense.

Speaker 1 Good boy, yes.

Speaker 8 If you had to spend an entire day locked in the room

Speaker 8 with either PFT, Big Cat, or Hank, who would you choose? This is from Levi.

Speaker 3 Okay, Levi.

Speaker 1 Good jeans. Oh, God.

Speaker 8 Not knowing you well yet.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Can I pick Liam?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Perfect dancer. Bubba.
That was good. Yeah.
He doesn't.

Speaker 1 Bubba. Bubba is the ultimate go with the flow.

Speaker 8 Because he can continue to film me and I can dance.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There you go.
Exactly.

Speaker 3 You guys have become thickest thieves.

Speaker 1 I like that. Okay.
Good answer. Partner in crime.

Speaker 8 Jill. My mom has been out of the country.
She's Bolivian, so she kind of, so she's kind of nuts, but hates tattoos.

Speaker 8 Okay. She gets back in November.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't you be Bolivian too?

Speaker 1 Person writing in?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a good point.

Speaker 1 So you only have tattoos on your lower half.

Speaker 1 Maybe only half. My mom's Bolivian.
She's crazy. Okay.

Speaker 8 She gets back in November, but I've already gotten six tattoos since she left a month ago. Oh.
Anything I can say to avoid ass whooping?

Speaker 8 Still live with my mom.

Speaker 1 See, this is tough.

Speaker 3 So it seems like you kind of wanted to get caught if you went on a tattoo spree like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So what would you do if you were very anti-tattoo and one of your kids got a bunch?

Speaker 8 Well, they could leave.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's option one.

Speaker 8 That's option one. They could pay rent.

Speaker 1 What if, now hold on, let me throw a little something else out there for you. What if it's six tattoos and, oh, he got a seventh and it just says, I love mom right on his heart.

Speaker 3 All is forgiven.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there you go. There's your answer.

Speaker 1 Mom tattoo. Yeah, get that, get maybe I love mom in the shape of Bolivia.

Speaker 1 Perfect. I don't know what Bolivia looks like.

Speaker 3 Just have La Paz as your nipple.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 That's a good. Good.
That's how I would, if they did get the I Love Mom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 What's big in Bolivia?

Speaker 1 I just think of Bolivia as Mike Tyson, Fade into Bolivian.

Speaker 3 Go off into Bolivian. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's about it. Bolivia.
I know they have very dangerous. Bolivian marshing powder.

Speaker 3 They have very dangerous roads and cocaine. Yeah.
They have the most dangerous road in the world. So maybe your mom will just be very happy that she survived.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, okay.
Next one.

Speaker 8 I'll go for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Hey, Jilly.

Speaker 8 Hope you're enjoying your internship so far. How many of the other interns have tried to make a move on you?

Speaker 3 Good question.

Speaker 8 And which of the PMT guys needs the most parenting?

Speaker 1 Oh, good question. Second question's good.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 it's got to be Jake.

Speaker 1 Jake needs the most parenting.

Speaker 1 Of course, he knows the youngest.

Speaker 8 But who needs the most parenting? I think it could be Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He just turned 26.

Speaker 8 He just did. He's still a baby.

Speaker 1 He is still a baby.

Speaker 3 What do you think Hank could use the most work on as far as becoming an adult? It's his birthday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, be nice.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 really sad.

Speaker 1 That stopped our trainer. Never mind.
Never mind. All right, do the next question because now you've been neutral.

Speaker 3 I would say maybe not skateboarding through the office. Yeah.

Speaker 1 very dangerous.

Speaker 8 Oh, is he a skateboarder?

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, just in the office because he doesn't like to walk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I mean, I don't blame him. You should actually call the police on Hank when he's skateboarding the office.
We can make a meme out of you. Oh, there you go.
Yeah. That'd be cool.
Okay.

Speaker 8 We'll do.

Speaker 3 On board Becky.

Speaker 8 See, I'm not into that.

Speaker 1 Knowing what that is.

Speaker 1 After the Skittle Spit.

Speaker 8 Sup, Julie Football and PMT Boys. I'm going to Chicago this weekend for a Dead and Company show at Red Bay with my dad.
Nice. And I've never done, talked about doing.

Speaker 1 He's going to talk about an astronaut mushrooms. LSD.

Speaker 1 LSD. That wasn't a marijuana call

Speaker 8 around my father.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And I'm somewhat afraid to.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 But I love tripping

Speaker 1 and in a weird spot. What a conundrum.

Speaker 1 I love to trip my balls off.

Speaker 1 But damn, I think I'm going to be freaked out by my dad.

Speaker 3 I love to hallucinate, not sure how to do this in front of my dad so that I don't freak out.

Speaker 1 I'd say take it easy maybe like maybe eat like a a little a few mushroom caps maybe don't go all out because i feel like tripping with your parents might be weird well offer dad some the gummies yeah

Speaker 1 the edibles yeah the edibles start out yeah start out with some weeds

Speaker 8 get the cookies yeah

Speaker 3 and work it up i agree with that if you if you do lsd with your parents you might have an oh here's your ceiling is having not a bad time right your your basement your floor is freaking out and irreparably damaging your relationship with your parents.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 1 That's going to be something we don't talk about forever. Yes.
Yeah. The time you trip balls at Wrigley.
Irreparably.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so you got to ease that into it.

Speaker 1 Ease that into it. Ease that into it.
Or if you were maybe staying at the new hotel across from Wrigley, you can just trip your balls off, knowing that you can just go back to your hotel room.

Speaker 1 There you go. At any moment.
Because that's actually like the failsafe. And

Speaker 8 will dad notice?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think, wouldn't you say all parents know? Like, when you think that you got one over your parents growing up when you were high or drunk, you like, oh man, I got what they didn't know.

Speaker 1 They know, right? You knew. We know.
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 What about when your kids nowadays come home and they're a little inebriated? Can you always tell?

Speaker 1 Well, you're getting hammered with them, right? You're sheeshin' up. Yeah, you're getting sheeshed up.

Speaker 1 Jilly gets sheeshed up.

Speaker 3 Sheeshed off the vino? Yeah, you she.

Speaker 8 Oh, I do sheesh.

Speaker 1 You sheesh big time. I love it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Next one. Any more?

Speaker 1 Locked out again.

Speaker 1 That damn phone. I know.

Speaker 8 You need to teach me.

Speaker 3 Blake of the year competitor, Brooks Kepka, just chipped in for another birdie.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 8 Why are non-stick pans never actually non-sticked?

Speaker 3 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 That is a good question.

Speaker 8 Because you use the wrong

Speaker 8 utensils in them.

Speaker 1 There you go. Perfect.
Yes.

Speaker 8 That's a real answer.

Speaker 1 You scrape off the...

Speaker 8 You use a real fork instead of the

Speaker 8 plastic screen.

Speaker 1 You do, you scrape it off.

Speaker 1 So you're not supposed to use the metal on the non-stick.

Speaker 3 Now, what about cast iron? Because I'm told that cast iron is the best way to cook everything.

Speaker 1 It's a real cooker's cook.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but you have to massage it

Speaker 3 with calf oil, like Howie Long did in that movie Little Giants to His Son's Calves, in order to make it work right. Like, how do you get a cast iron to perform like a good cast iron?

Speaker 8 You talk to it.

Speaker 3 You talk to it?

Speaker 1 Just slap it around a little bit? Yeah, you don't know know who's boss yeah skittle spit on it yes yeah

Speaker 1 yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right okay uh last one

Speaker 8 if i can get there here we go okay

Speaker 8 i'm just gonna pick one okay

Speaker 8 hey jill if you have the opportunity would you rather go 50 years back in time to redo some things from your past oh or would you go forward 50 years into the future

Speaker 8 to see what no no sorry no no my bad no i will be dead in 50 years

Speaker 1 we never know We're beyond.

Speaker 3 No, 119 is the new 110.

Speaker 1 Listen, chill. I believe in you.
I'm not going to be alive in 50 years.

Speaker 3 You're healthy as a horse.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, we're definitely not forward to it.

Speaker 3 So would you want to...

Speaker 8 No, chill. No, regrets, I've had a few, so I'm not going to go back.

Speaker 1 You know, I had. Sing it, Frank.
Woohoo, yes.

Speaker 8 But then again, two feet of mention.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 Anyway, I go ahead.

Speaker 7 You'd go ahead.

Speaker 7 What are the futures like?

Speaker 8 Futures like, you know, like back to the features.

Speaker 1 Wait, so, okay, so this is actually a fun hypothetical. You go 50 years ahead, but you stay the same age.
Would you want to do that? I would not.

Speaker 3 You wouldn't?

Speaker 1 No, because the fucking Earth's going to blow up. I wouldn't want to be 34 when the Earth's going to blow up.

Speaker 3 I think it'd be pretty cool to be young while the Earth blows up. I don't know.
You can run away fast.

Speaker 1 It's going to suck in 50 years, the world's going to suck.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 you're going to want to be able to swim in 50 years. Yeah.
Right now, me and you, we're both great swimmers.

Speaker 1 That's true, but I just think it's going to be too hot. There's going to be, it's going to be a shit show.

Speaker 8 I'll have a kayak.

Speaker 1 Everyone's going to move to. Are you kayaking? That's a good plan.
I love to kayak. You do?

Speaker 3 Kayaking is great.

Speaker 1 Where do you kayak? The East River?

Speaker 8 In the pond in Rhode Island.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Nice.
Like, we're supposed to know where that is. The pond in Rhode Island.
It's way up here. In A Pond in Rhode Island.
Is that Walden? Is that where Thoreau wrote his thing?

Speaker 1 A pond in the room. Is that one where Thoreau stayed for a year to jack off and pretend he was doing a great psychological experiment?

Speaker 8 It's not too far from Taylor Swift's house.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Oh, so you and

Speaker 1 the artist formerly known as Billy Football, you you guys both vacation in Rhode Island. Yes.
Wow.

Speaker 1 We should get you guys in a double kayak someday. Okay.
How's your kayaking? Do you know how to do a roll? If you tip over, do you know how to tip yourself back?

Speaker 8 Well, I've never done it, so you wear a skirt?

Speaker 1 Do you wear the spray skirt? No. Oh, okay.
Well, you're not real.

Speaker 3 If you tip over, do you know how to do the thing where you somersault out of the kayak so you don't have to worry about flipping it back over?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay, good.

Speaker 8 Got it. I've done that.

Speaker 1 What's your paddle situation?

Speaker 3 Fiberglass?

Speaker 1 We're talking,

Speaker 1 how much weight do you think?

Speaker 8 I don't know the weight.

Speaker 3 How many knots are you pulling out there?

Speaker 1 You got a rudder on that thing?

Speaker 8 You're asking too many questions.

Speaker 1 Seven, eight knots? Yes. Okay, that's good.
Damn.

Speaker 1 You get maybe a

Speaker 1 little bit of a bad.

Speaker 1 There you go. That's perfect.
All right, Jilly. Jilly football, thank you.
Another great week.

Speaker 3 We'll try not to disappoint you next week.

Speaker 1 Second week in the book. Do you think? I feel like you're getting your flow.
You show up with a big smile. You go around, ask people questions.

Speaker 1 You sat on the edge of the couch for two hours today watching Women's World Cup and just enjoying like you're kind of enjoying everything. Just hanging out.
Yeah, just hanging out.

Speaker 3 I do have a question for you. Out of everybody that you've met in the office, besides, we'll see, besides the interns and besides us here on part of my take, who do you think is the most delightful?

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 8 That's that's hard since I don't remember names.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you've been delighted a lot, though. I've noticed.

Speaker 1 Describe them.

Speaker 8 Well, you gotta. Come on, Ebony.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ebony. Okay, that's a good point.
Yeah, that's a good answer. Good answer.

Speaker 3 Always greets you with a smile on her face. Good answer.
Unless you're not supposed to be there, in which case she will beat the shit.

Speaker 1 Stun gun. She has her stun gun.
So be careful. Don't get on the wrong side.

Speaker 8 And I will never take any of those things off the shelves.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 All right, Chili Football.

Speaker 8 Thank you. Thanks, guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 See ya. That was great.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 I hope to say it.

Speaker 3 I can't stop right away.

Speaker 3 I'm okay.

Speaker 3 stay up to me.

Speaker 3 It's the better to be safe and sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 3 It's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 3 It's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 3 Take on me.