Samuel L Jackson, SCF, And The Warriors Are On The Ropes

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have the man, the myth, the legend, Samuel L. Jackson,

the greatest cursor in the world, 150-plus movies, a bona fide A-lister.

I'm excited.

The highest grossing actor of all time. I'm you should be excited it's awesome we also have stanley cup final game six nba finals are the warriors done or finished who's back of the week and a monday read as we progress through the season every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept.

But you know what isn't hard to accept?

Discover.

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Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Okay, let's go.
It's Pardon My Tip presented by barstool sports welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app put in that code barstool you get five dollars on the cash app and five dollars to the aspca today is monday june 10th and according to the st louis dispatch congratulationsatch, congratulations to our champions, the St. Louis Blues.
Yeah, way to go, guys. Wow, way to go.
We knew you could do it. Dewey defeats Truman.
Here was the note from the St. Louis Blues.
Winning the Stanley Cup was a dream come true for so many of you. All of us will remember where we were, what we did, and how we felt when the Blues brought the Cup home.
That's tough. Each of us will have a library of memories to pass down for generations.
Each of us will forever think of the person in our lives for whom this time meant so much. Yikes.
That's tough. That's like when you write an obituary for the news that you have to have on file, like ready to go just in case somebody dies.
I'm pretty sure someone somewhere has written an obituary for one of us in this room. Like when Florio killed Terry Bradshaw.
Exactly. Or when Drew Brees got both of his legs broken and on.
Right. Exactly.
Yeah. It's one of those things that I don't really blame the St.
Louis dispatch because they do have to be prepared. But to get that leaked is the big issue here.
I think what happened was they were trying to sell ads, right? So they sent it out to advertisers being like, this is what the paper will look like. If we win, your ad could run next to it.
And then somebody took a picture of that email and sent it out. Stay woke.
They need to start doing that. They need to do fake ones whenever a team gets close to winning a championship and sell ads for that.
Double dip. What about.
Because if there was an ad on this, people would be like, whoa, this is presented by like, you know, the mattress guy down the road. That actually.
That got more impressions than the real story would have gotten. Right, exactly.
At least online. So anyone out there, if you want to double dip.
But we have Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final on Wednesday night. Hank, you're going to be there? Possibly? Depend.
Maybe. Tickets are a little expensive right now.
It is my birthday. I'm thinking about going, but I don't know.
You should take some feet pics and put it on the internet and get some money up for that. If anyone wants to buy my feet pictures, I will sell them to you.
Okay, let's do it. Hank's got great feet, by the way.
Get your cash app. Shout out your cash app.
It's one of those things. I don't know if you guys can relate to this, but it's like Game 7, At Home, Bruins, Once in a Lifetime thing, but I'm not a diehard Bruins fan, but it's one of those...
But it's your birthday, and it's a. It's a party.
Yeah, it is like... But is a party worth that much money? Well, if you have the feet...
Yeah, when they have all the planets aligned, it's called a syzygy. Syzygy.
S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y, I think. This is the Hank Lockwood sports syzygy that's happening.
I think that you should definitely go... Tell you what, you can wear some inflatable shoulder pads with bare feet.

Maybe we drum up some money for it.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe, yeah.

Let's get all of anyone who wants to see.

Ooh, okay.

Uh-oh.

I don't like this at all.

I don't like this at all.

The answer is no.

How much money would the AWLs put up for Hank to shave his beard?

Oh, no.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Interesting. Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. I would throw in.
I'd throw 50. I'd do 200 bucks.
Okay. I'll still throw 50.
I'll sweeten the pot. I'll let you throw 200 in.
How much would it take, Hank? I don't know. You don't.
Come on. Give me a figure.
What if we got you on the glass? Yeah. But then, no, that's the problem.
Because you'd be on the glass with no's okay. I would agree without a beard, so I don't even care.
Wear a fake beard. Yeah.
Oh, that would be great. Actually, no.
Speaking of which, we should touch on this. Jon Hamm shaving his playoff beard before games.
Did he really do that? Yes. He was clean shaven at game six tonight.
Oh, that's the thing. I couldn't do that because that would be the same exact.
In St. I don't care if you're superstitious, whatever you...

Like, if you're a sports fan and you're a fan of your hockey team

and they're in fucking Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final

and you have a beard, you cannot shave it.

Listen, Jon Hamm, I don't care how big your dick is.

You need to keep that beard going St. Nick style

until the end of the playoffs.

Was this for a roll?

Even if it was for a roll, you just got to be like, Hey, guess what, guys? We're one game away. Doesn't matter.
Unreal. Unreal moves.
You postponed production on that. The curse of Jon Hamm's hammer.
There it is. You ever seen his dick? Yeah, I have.
In the sweatpants picture? Of course. Everyone has.
It's pretty good. You got anything else? No, I'm just saying.
Oh, okay. Yeah, it's pretty big.
Top mushroom stamp. Yep.
Yep yep that's all i have to say about uh all right let's let's talk about the other

finals that are going on the golden state warriors are on the ropes the toronto raptors i actually

wrote down a bunch of thoughts here but the toronto raptors are really fucking good really

fucking good kawaii leonard is insane he had his 14 14 30 point game in these playoffs so now he's in company with Jerry West can I guess okay go ahead you're not gonna get it uh Michael Jordan Jerry West Jerry West nope 13 wait what is he averaging he has 14 30 point games oh I heard in these playoffs there's only three with more 30-point games in a single playoffs. I heard a different stat from that.
It was very similar. So he's in company with MJ, who had 16 30-point games in a singular playoffs, Hakeem, who had 16 as well, and Kobe, who had 15.
So that is insane rarefied area. He'll probably get 15 on Monday night.
He also has eight of those 30-point games on the road. An absolute killer.
And their defense is unreal, and they got the Warriors on the ropes. But now we get what we were hoping for.
Whispers. KD watch.
KD practiced. The one thing we were looking forward to was chaos.
The Warriors are down 3-1. I don't know if you ever heard this, but it's kind's kind of an internet joke the warriors in 3-1 leads this could actually be a great way to defeat a meme in real time so the only way that we've seen a meme die in the past has been like going out with a whimper not a bang like the crying mj thing just kind of faded away after a couple years this could be like a supernova explosion the meme is done they take it down themselves took Yes.
That'd be poetic. Now, you're talking about KD and the chaos that's coming along with him practicing.
Jalen Rose actually said that the practice didn't go well. I don't know if Jalen has a direct line.
Wait, wait, wait. When was this, though? Today.
This was today's report? Because I saw that yesterday. Okay.
No, because there was conflicting reports. On Saturday, there was the report that everyone's upset at KD and that he's not responding.
But then today, he was clear to practice and I think practiced. Okay.
So I think everything went okay today. So I heard that the actual practice wasn't good.
Okay. That he didn't play well.
We need someone to stat check. Yeah, check out what KD's plus minus was in an unopposed practice today.
But to add to that, KD can't help but throw a little bit of fuel on the fire.

And he went on Instagram, as he is wont to do, from his main account, from his actual account this time.

And he followed the following people.

You ready?

JaVale McGee, LeBron James, Kyle Kuzma, Lamar Odom, Todd Gurley, Aaron Donald.

Where did you see this?

This was online today.

This was fake news season with the Kawhi Apple story that went viral.

It was very funny.

I don't need you. we won without you.
So why don't you leave? Call them a bitch, which is so wildly inappropriate to do. But now we're back to that spot where it's like, you do need him.
He probably is still going to leave. And the whole team's just waiting to see if he'll come and play in these finals.
i also the interesting thing with these finals to me is that like when a dynasty ends it's it's kind of what's going on with the warriors where you just don't expect it you always are just sitting there like hey where are the warriors why haven't they shown up yet yeah when the heat lost the spurs in 2014 they lost four to one when a lot of people have been making this analogy, but it does feel similar to the Lakers-Pistons in 2004. Lakers win game two.
You're like, okay, these are the Lakers. They're fine.
Pistons win 4-1. By the way, I went back and I looked.
The scores of that series are so funny. 87-75.
One of the games is 88-68. The highest scoring game was 99-91 in overtime.
It's pretty much completely different basketball. But my point is you go back like the 91 when the Bulls beat the Pistons 4-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals, when the Bulls beat the Lakers 4-1 in the Finals, when the Pistons beat the Celtics 4-2 in the 88 Eastern Conference Finals.
Whenever a dynasty ends, you just sit there being like, oh, they're going to turn it on. It's going to happen.
And it just doesn't. So it feels like that.
As much as we all are inclined to be like, the Warriors can flip a switch and everything will be fine and they'll go nuclear Warriors on everyone, history shows that it's probably more likely the Raptors will finish them off on Monday night. What's crazy is that I didn't really see this coming.
It's mostly about K. But that's what happens.
It's mostly about Katie. But that's what happens.
But Katie, if this Warriors team was still healthy, it would not be like, oh my God, the dynasty's over. They would be much more competitive, winning probably most of these games.
Because you saw how it went down with the Rockets. The Rockets were a very good team in the playoffs.
Of course. And they handled their business against them.
I did get caught up in that, though, a little bit personally. So there is some truth to it because after game one, I put a large bet.
You were happy with yourself. On the Warriors.
I was like, this is easy money. Do you remember what I said to you at the time? Because the Warriors are going to go nuclear and they're going to flip the switch.
The switch is across the room right now, and they don't have super long wingspan of KD to reach out and press the switch button. Remember what I told you at the time? I said, just bet the Warriors game too.
Yeah, you did tell me that. I did.
But I mean. Plus money.
Nobody likes a guy that's like. I know.
I know. I told you.
But we were sitting at the time. It was before.
I know. I'm not doing it after.
But I am 100% that guy that was like. We all are.
To this day, I'm like, I think that they might go in Toronto. Yes.
And I think they might beat them by 40. And if they win on Monday night, then the series is back on,

especially if KD plays.

But my bigger point was more that I remember watching that Pistons-Lakers series and being like, whoa, it's the Pistons.

They don't have Kobe.

They don't have Shaq.

The Lakers will turn it on and win this series.

And you sit there on Friday night.

I was like, well, the first half, the Warriors were awesome.

And you're like, yeah, this is the Warriors.

They're back.

This series is over and that's how dynasties end you just sit there being like wait where are the guys that we saw all these years and you're right kd obviously changes everything but i'm just like at this point the raptors are so fucking good they played so well that to like our dumb, our caveman brains on Monday night are like, the Warriors will kill them. But if you look at history, you're like, the Raptors will probably win.
I'm very excited to see how KD's injury plays out in the offseason because I'm definitely an Achilles Cav truther now at this point because I think that if the injury was as minimal as they made it seem at first, he would have at least tried to play by now. Yeah, well, and the fact that Klay Thompson played through whatever he – I mean, Klay is like a fucking warrior.
Like, he is a warrior, but he is a warrior. Like, he gets – remember when he was bleeding through his ear? Yeah, I do remember.
He was like, whatever. We had some good blood, too, on Friday night.
Oh, yeah, Fred Van Vliet. Yeah, took one off the chin.
Got smoked. Off the cheekbone.
We got part of my Jake PMT Stats sports business reporter with a breaking moves. What is this? Yes, that's Saturday.
So, Winhurst said Durant just isn't ready. His body isn't ready.
The trainers don't believe it. He doesn't believe it.
But then he practiced on Sunday. Yeah, but then after that, Jalen Rose reported the practice.
I saw Jalen Rose's report on Saturday, so maybe you're right. But I think he practiced and everything went well.
I think he's going to play on Monday night, and I want him to play and somehow bring the Warriors back just to watch everyone. Everyone's collective brain will just melt on the internet, and that's what we wanted before the entire series was for chaos.
All right. That breaking moves is brought to you by Chocolate Milk.
It was a very colloquial job last week, Hank. We're very proud of you for that.
So we're going to have to colloquial things up a bit. You know, Chocolate Milk is the ideal recovery drink.
So instead, tell us a story about how great Chocolate Milk tastes, and your words that you have to use are scrumptious and amorphous. Amorphous? Mm-hmm.
Whew. Okay, well.
Maybe my favorite Samuel L. Jackson character.
That's a good idea. Or it could be something like, you know, I was a dog and then I amorphoused into a human being.
And afterwards, after doing such a hard job doing that, I had a scrumptious chocolate milk. I like that.

Like Animorphs.

You did it.

Embrace the bait.

Although.

The better cover for books as a young adult, Animorphs or Goosebumps.

I like Goosebumps.

I love Goosebumps.

You could touch them and they felt kind of cool. Wait.

It was like ASMR for your fingers.

Did you drink the chocolate milk as a dog still or no?

You became a human, right?

Yeah.

No, I Animorphs.

If you had dog blood, that'd be bad.

Don't feed your dog chocolate milk.

Why not?

Feed everyone else chocolate milk.

Because dogs can't have chocolate.

Thank you. You became a human, right? Yeah, no, I anamorphed.
If you had dog blood, that'd be bad. Don't feed your dog chocolate milk.

Why not?

Feed everyone else chocolate milk.

Because dogs can't have chocolate.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

You knew that.

I don't have a dog, so how would I know that?

Okay.

Hank's more of a cat guy.

Rule one of the world. I mean, okay.

It is rule one of the world.

It is literally rule one of the world.

Don't give that dog chocolate.

I'm going to do about grapes.

Or grapes. Or raw onions.
Yeah. Or garlic.
Yes. Or avocado.
Yeah. Or peanut butter on your balls.
Millennial dogs are so pissed off. Yeah.
All right. So we cleared it up.
We did. So Jalen Rose's report was Friday.
Yeah. So learn more about that at builtwithchocolatemilk.com and clear up the colloquialism Hank just used.
So the PMT Sports Biz showed us that the report was that Kevin Durant left practice or he you know left the facility after practice so practice without a noticeable limp so it looks like he's gonna play. Jalen Rose's report was Friday night when he was saying that there's no way he's coming back this year.
It was funny because everyone started piling on it was like what's going on everyone's mad about you know kevin durant and now a little bit of public peer pressure has a former triple b ready to play ready to put the whole team on his baby back yeah and uh you know there would be something very cool about toronto winning in toronto with the whole jurassic park thing that they have going insane game seven we need more sports yeah that's true you know what this time of year is like? You ever see a movie? Probably this happens in Die Hard or something, but where some guy is hanging on a ledge with both his hands, and then his fingers start to slip, and then one hand comes off, and he reaches back up and grabs it. Cliffhanger.
Yeah, and that's what this time of year is like for me when I've got my two hands of hockey and basketball. And tonight, one hand was starting to slip because it was like oh

shit this could be the end the cups in the building then i reached up and i grabbed with that hand same thing's going to happen tomorrow night with the other hand yes and then i'm just going to be free falling and it's going to be yeah mount rushmore season i actually have that as my who's back but i'm gonna i have a list i made for the weekend uh we're gonna do who's back hank why don't you start? Before we do that, if you want to watch Samuel L. Jackson,

part of my take, barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

His 151st movie.

151st movie, barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

Hank, why don't you start?

Who's Back?

Sure, Big Cat.

My Who's Back of the Week is actually something to do with you.

Oh, thanks.

It is bad visual for you.

Oh, yeah, thanks. Bad visual cat, if you will.

Okay, great.

There was a picture tonight during one of the electric chairs. You were on the side told people to delete it wait let me look at this yeah where can i find it you can find it where i quote treated and said please delete it okay so yeah let me take a look but so that so that uh that visual prompted you to tweet out that you're in home run derby shape i am the picture it's not great i'm in home run derby.
And then Christian Yelich responded to it and said he hopes so. Oh, I didn't see that.
You really it's been a tough it's been a tough night. I didn't see the Christian Yelich response.
Yeah, he just responded. I mean, Hank, where would you say you are like the you're like the like Dick's Picks for Grateful Dead.
You're the historian of bad pictures of me. So where would you say this ranks? I mean, I don't want to.
I'm not even joking i don't want to be too mean but like this one's pretty bad it's bad it came out of nowhere it was also like the seat was too low usually like i can tell like in my back of my head i'm like oh big has been put on a little weight and then the visual comes out it's like yeah that makes sense yeah i haven't thought that recently and the fact that that picture exists it was bad you look like a vaguelyuely Soviet bus driver from like 1993 reaching for his bottle of Smirnoff that he keeps next to the whip. It's bad, but guess what? I've had it many times and they roll off my fat back and what are you going to do? You look like a Russian guy that used to be a wrestler 40 years ago.
That works. I'm athletic.
That works. Yeah, I mean, listen, there's a long history of bad pictures that I've taken.
It's not great. Put it up there.
I'll say Big Cat does not look like that in person. Your tits are much more supple in person.
I can hate. Listen, when the bad pictures get taken, I love it because it's like a reset the clock.
That was a bad picture. It's also nice when a bad picture gets taken because then when somebody sees you in public, you're like you don't look as slovenly as i thought from the internet yeah correct correct uh my other who's back the week is lacrosse yeah i watched it this weekend it was actually pretty entertaining i did too paul paul paul had me convinced uh the atlas lost again the redwoods lost i think what about the whip snakes i would do what they might I don't know.
I have fucking heartburn right now. That has nothing to do with the fat picture.
All right. I'm going to do my who's back because it segues from lacrosse.
So we were just talking about it, but the amount of sports that are on that are sports I don't care about is an insane amount right now. And my who's back is I need football back because i wrote down everything that i watched this weekend i watched at least some part of all of these things so baseball women's world cup hockey basketball those are you know normal yeah okay then it starts to kind of fall off a cliff i watched some wmba i watched some lacrosse i watched some tennis i watched some beach volleyball because it was on after lacrosse i watched college baseball i watched motor motorcycle racing did you watch drag racing that was on too drag racing is always on i watched some bowling i watched the uefa friendly i watched the under 20 soccer match that we lost the the u.s sucks and then i watched a lance armstrong interview we also watched a little cycling.
We also had a U.S. men's national team friendly.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So we got our asses kicked in the under-20 World Cup.
The future's not here. Not here for the men.
Yeah, so I watched a lot of fucking sports that I don't give a fuck about. And I just sat there being like, man, I wish the football was back.
Well, because you know what happens when you get into this off-season area, you start to watch things on channels that you normally don't go to correct like the women's world cup so that was on fs1 i believe yep and then you take the nap the customary second half nap in a sport that you normally don't watch and when you wake up there's an even more obscure sport that is taking its place correct after that sport is over beach volleyball lance armstrong and then you have to find out how to bet on all these sports right lance armstrong doing an interview where he couldn't fully commit to saying that kids shouldn't do steroids yeah there was a ufc fight too did you know yeah i watched you guys i got turned into a fleshlight yeah a little snot rocket yeah so uh i don't know it's just i just basically cruise around the channels i have cable no big deal uh and i couldn't find a good movie to watch so then i just hopped around all this you just do it out of instinct the sports channels you go you start at the bottom sports channel and you cruise through all of them and you stop off at a couple and i watched fucking like i was watching motorcycle racing i was watching yeah i was watching motorcycle racing me and skip bayless were the only people that watched that game it's sad man i they do need to figure out a way like i would have kept on watching motorcycle racing. Me and Skip Bayless were the only people that watched that game.
It's sad, man. They do need to figure out a way.
I would have kept on watching motorcycle racing if your TV could have a thing that pops up like, hey, do you want to bet on this? Boom, you can bet on it right now. I want to bet on the volleyball.
You know what we need to do? We need to start watching because you can find old NFL games on YouTube from 2006, 2007, some of the HD ones. So we should just have like Hank or Bubba or maybe Jake.
I think we had this idea before at this exact moment. No, I thought about this.
This was Super Bowl week because I was having Sunday Scaries for the NFL season being over, but we should actually do it. We'll have Jake go through, just pick one game at random like Chiefs-Browns, Week 12, 2007.
Oh. And then, without us knowing about the teams at all, we'll bet on them.
Yeah. We'll bet against each other, and then we'll watch the game as if we're watching it for the first time.
I actually, now that you're saying that, I watched an Outback Bowl, Penn State versus LSU, with Joe Pa versus Les Miles. I don't know what year it was from.
And fucking LSU was raining like hell.

And LSU had an awesome goal line stand in the second quarter.

I don't know how it ended.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

See, that's what I'm saying.

If there's a way to bet on all that old shit that we don't remember, it's new to us.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, and a Georgia spring game, which I think was a replay.

I assume they've played their spring game a couple months ago.

It was a long weekend of just watching anything that was on TV. Once you get into a repeat of a spring scrimmage you're you're in a bad place yeah well they did have a nice fucking little flea flicker so that was cool yeah does your team or does your tv have the screen time feature on it that a phone has no but that would be depressing no what happens is the the thing pops up says you haven't you haven't changed a channel in a really long time yeah what are you doing i was like well i wanted to watch the rest of this georgia spring game dude yeah i want to get rid of that feature on my tv because it's like fuck yeah i'm partying yeah don't ask me if i want to turn the channel sorry i haven't changed the channel for eight hours so all right what do you got pft uh i've got a couple hoops backs of the week uh the first was big little lies is back yeah what is that so big little lies is a show it's entourage for like rich women who are so rich that they sound british when they talk cool that's the best way i can describe it so it's like nicole kidman um what station is what station yeah it's on uh station hbo okay yeah no it's it's it's pretty good and it's like i've only watched two episodes but i did watch the recap of uh first two seasons twice.
So it's like my little guilty pleasure that I've just started to – again, these are things that I go through in the offseason when there's nothing else to get me through Sundays. So I decided that I was going to get into Big Little Lies.
Okay. So that's number one.
Number two is Joe Flacco. Yeah.
Joe Flacco's back. To be what? Terrible? John Elway said, it looks to me like he's back in super bowl mvp form so that means he's six foot five 235 pounds and he threw the ball across his body no way yards no joe flacco's practices are becoming like patrick mahomes's updates for people out there they're just every week it's like joe flacco threw another ball 80 yards in the thin air.
Does John Elway

realize that Joe Flacco, statistically

in the last five years, is the worst starting quarterback

you could have? Absolutely not. Was that a serious

question about John Elway? No, definitely not.

Wait, who do they

draft? Oh, they

draft Drew Locke. Yeah, Drew Locke.

Double finger guns. Yeah, I was going to say Matty Mock.

Real throwback. Alright, is that it?

I've got one more. Go for it.
So, my last hooms say Matty Mock. Real throwback.
All right, is that it? I've got one more.

Go for it.

So my last hooms back of the week is lace shorts.

Oh, yes.

So lace shorts are back in a big way.

This is gross.

Fellas.

Just shorts in general.

Yeah, shorts are back big time, but now lace shorts are even backer.

Actually, they're backless because they're just totally see-through on the back end,

and they have a little cover-up in the front.

Finally, lingerie for guys that want to play some basketball at the same time. It's pretty gross, and PFT, tune in to a podcast coming.
It basically goes like this. PFT says, yo, look at this, and it's some disgusting piece of clothing, and then he goes, can I get the credit card real quick? Yep.
And that's how it gets made. That's how it works.
That's how it gets made. Listen, I'm telling you, it's going to be a game changer.
It's like the new – For everyone. Yeah, for everyone.
For mostly the people who see you. But here's why, man.
Because I don't have a problem with people being disgusted by my lingerie that I'm wearing. My dude lingerie.
We need to come up with a name for that. Minjure.
Because if somebody is disg disgusted seeing me wear it that's not the kind of person i would want to hang out with anyways i guess that's a good litmus test you're just walking around like do you want to see me naked yeah you don't want to see me in my lace shorts okay get out of here yeah if you're that shallow of a person that you don't want to see my gross body right in your face right then i guess i don't want my gross body to be seen by your stupid face right why don't you get to get to know PFT's brain? Why don't you get to know his personality? It's not all about the fact that he's wearing the most ridiculous shorts ever for attention. That's right.
My eyes are up here. All right.
Let's get to our interview. Samuel L.
Jackson. We're going to get right back to the show.
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I'm looking at the bar right now

Okay use those swipes okay here he is samuel l jackson okay i'm looking at the bar right now okay that voice you hear right now it is the legend samuel jackson we're here he's got his new movie out shaft june 14th uh go watch it i want to start with shaft and the coolest characters you've ever played is he, like top three coolest, baddest motherfuckers you've ever played? I would say so, yeah. I mean, it's an honor to be able to portray a figure that's so iconic that meant so much.
I guess when I was younger, seeing Richard Roundtree as Shaft was something that you aspired to. I want to be that cool.
I want to have that many chicks. I want to have that many leather coats.
Right. So if it's not Shaft, who are like the top three coolest characters that you played? Jules, Nick Fury, Shaft.
What about Morpheus? You're great as Morpheus. I've seen Morpheus.
I loved you as Morpheus. That was a viral clip you had.
That was a test. I mean.
How often does that happen? It depends on whether people are trying to be funny or whether they're trying to piss me off. I think it's a little bit of both right now.
It's a little bit of both right now. Actually, Big Cat brings up a good point.
So cool and bad. Is there a difference between being cool and bad cool and badass yeah

um yeah yeah very much so so shaft's a bad motherfucker right uh shaft is a bad motherfucker yes shaft is bad motherfucker uh nick fury's a bad motherfucker yeah um yeah it's very different. Jules is...
Jules is cool. He has bad motherfucker on his wallet, but he's essentially very cool.
He's lethal and dangerous as all hell. Kind of like Ordell is a bad motherfucker.
He's not cool because he's kind of corny and he dresses kind of wack and his hair ain't, you know, all the way there. Are you describing me right now? You know, but he will fuck you up.
Yeah. A nice guy to hang out with, but don't cross him.
Gotcha. So I'm curious.
You always, I love how you talk about characters you played as like almost friends and like they're still alive. Because I was, you know, in 150 plus movies you played every single character but you talk about them like they're they like exist forever and i i don't i feel like i've never seen an actor kind of do that no i was reading about your favorite characters or your favorite characters you played and you were like talking like jango and chain you're like yeah yes uh steph is my dude he's my dude, Steph is my dude.
He's my dude. Stephen is my dude.

That's my dude.

I've never heard an actor talk

like that about a character that he played

and he played so many.

They give you stuff.

It's

interesting or really

freeing to have a guy like Stephen

or to play a guy like Stephen because

he's unapologetically evil.

He is who he is

and he lives in that space and he inhabits it like it's real. It's genuine for him.
Right. You know, Jules is who he is.
Ordell lives in his space. Right.
He creates it. He inhabits that environment and he relishes where he is in that space.
Most characters that I have, I don't have a lot of characters that are insecure or that don't feel good about being who they are. Do you ever dream in your characters? Do you ever dream as one of your characters? I don't believe so.
Okay. I'm not saying that's not true.
Because, I mean, I've done some stuff in my dreams maybe maybe when i'm asleep at work or in the trailer sometimes i'm dreaming as that character because i've done things and i wake up and i have a revelation about something i want to do so yeah yeah your brain's working overtime yeah like you're on jurassic park do you dream about dinosaurs um, I was dreaming more about cigarettes because they kept... I was actually a smoker then and Steven made me smoke these herbal things that were horrible and he was a chain smoker.
And I said well, I'd rather chain smoke real cigarettes. He's like, no, I don't want to kill you.
So what's in the herbal cigarettes? I don't know. It's nasty.
They're like clothes.

I like clothes cigarettes. I used to smoke those sometimes.

But no, these weren't clothes.

It was some kind of nasty herbal something.

Yeah.

What was the pitch like for Snakes on a Plane?

How does that happen?

Nobody pitched me.

Actually, I read, there's a director, Ronnie Yu.

I had just done a film with him called Formula 51 in Scotland and in Liverpool and I read where he was doing a movie called Snakes on a Plane so I called him and said Ronnie you doing a movie called Snakes on a Plane and he's like yeah I was like what is it he said a plane full of poisonous snakes he's like seriously and he's like yeah I was like well can I be in it and he's like you want to be in it and I'm like, what is it? He said, a plane full of poisonous snakes. I was like, seriously? And he's like, yeah.
I was like, well, can I be in it? And he's like, you want to be in it? I'm like, yeah. He's like, great.
So he called New Line, New Line. I was like, oh, yeah, hell yeah.
And then next thing I know, Ronnie got fired. And they were like, well, you know, Ronnie's not doing the movie now.
We hoped you were going to stay. I'm like, hell yeah, I'm doing the movie, yeah.
Fuck yeah, I'm going to do it. Snakes on a plane.
so you took the role in the same exact manner that everyone went and watched the movie because i remember i was like what's this movie snakes on a plane yeah fucking in yeah exactly i want to watch it come on i want to see it on a plane yeah it's pretty straightforward totally the kind of movie i would have gone to see when i was a kid it's like playing full of snakes yeah i'm in. I had a theory that you did that movie because you wanted people to stop quoting all your Pulp Fiction lines.
So you're like, I'll just do an even more quotable, you know, snakes on a plane movie. No, I did it because of those snakes on the plane.
Even when I got there, you know, the first day I arrived, I got there and they were like passing out, you know, new pages and they gave me this script that said Pacific Flight 121. I'm like, what the fuck is this? They're like, well, you know, we don't want to give it away.
I'm like, you exactly want to do that. That's why I'm here.
I'm not here to do Pacific Flight 121. If that's the name of the movie, I quit.
You know what I mean? How many of the snakes were real? How many? Yeah. Were they all real?

No, they had some fake shit.

But I guess when we got there, they had like a dry cleaner vat that had corn snakes in it.

Okay.

And maybe it was like 150 of them.

By the time we wrapped, there were like 600.

They were in there fucking.

They were doing it.

They were fucking, yeah.

They were doing it.

Snakes fucked like rabbits. And then they had some regular, like, poisonous snakes and bigger snakes and some other things, but they had vats and vats of corn snakes that they just dumped on the plane every day.
Do you ever think we're going to have snakes on a plane too? No. At any point when you get on set, were you like, you know, this was an awesome idea because it's called snakes on a plane, and I'm all in on that, but now that I'm seeing all these snakes on this motherfucking plane it's kind of creepy no you were cool with them i was very cool with the snakes no fear at all my agent didn't want me hanging around them she was like no no snakes match him you know no we gotta have snakes you gotta have snakes but um no but but but second unit was shooting with all the dangerous shit it's like they had like a a 15-foot albino cobra that was like gangster.
Fuck that. Hell no.
And they would like hit the seat in front of it and just shake the seat like that. It was like, fuck, look at that.
They would show us pictures like, look at this. Nah, keep him on second unit.
Do you go see every movie that you're in in theaters? I do. Now, do you like to go to a crowded theater or do you like to go to a quiet place? I like to go to a theater and hopefully there's people in it.
Yeah. Yeah, I can't guarantee that there's going to be crowded theater.
Every movie you make is not a big movie. So, yeah, I just go to a theater where people are paying their money to see how they respond to it.
Has anybody ever turned around and been like, holy shit, you're on screen and I'm sitting next to you right now? Yeah, all the time. That must be surreal.
Yeah. That would that would be very weird for me why because i'm dumb and so i can't believe that two people exist in two places at the same time i'm like i'm like a dog like if i'm looking at a screen i'm like that's that person but wait he's right here next to me right yeah no i don't know i mean it's whatever it is i was just in uh i was just in italy when endgame came out so i wanted to see it so there was only one english-speaking screening of it that day right so we called theater and oh yeah sure come in and i got there and you know there were people there and it's like the movie didn't start for like 30 minutes and i was sitting in eating popcorn.
So literally, people were lined up in the aisle because I allowed them to sit in the seat in front of me. Take a picture? That's official.
I wasn't going to be like, yeah, we're going to move. Okay, you sit in the seat in front of me.
So people literally lined up in the aisle and sat down with their cameras while I was sitting behind me eating popcorn smiling not you know just no so so when you watch your own movie because most people they don't like the sound of their own voice they don't like to watch themselves on on a movie screen do you watch it and you're like damn that's a badass motherfucker right there like talking about yourself I watch it and say okay that was the good take okay you look at it. The first time I see it, I'm kind of watching it critically to see which take did they use, which angle did they use for this particular shot.
Because sometimes, you know, you shoot, you shoot, and you shoot, and you say to people, that's just never even going to be in a movie. Right.
And most times, you know, I'm right and it's not. Right.
And I'll go, I knew we wasted too much time with this shit because they used the first thing that we did so have there been times when you're like they completely edited it wrong maybe not naming names but you're like this was not the character I was portraying no I know it's never not the character but it's never the angle that works for that particular shot or that works for the story to move the story to the next place on a dynamic way. Right, right.
Interesting. Where do you stand on sneaking food into movie theaters? Sneaking food like what? Like, you know, they charge $8 for a big bag of popcorn.
Like, what about bringing in, like, a sandwich or some. Like, big beans.
Yeah, Tupperware full of beans. If that's what you want to eat, fine.
I don't care. Yeah.
But you don't eat popcorn? You eat baked beans in the movie?

Yeah, yeah.

Popcorn?

Beans are good.

I'm a popcorn, you know, white cherry slushy guy.

What about candy?

You ever bring candy in the movies?

Because that's expensive, too.

I very seldom eat candy in the movie.

Yeah.

That's how they get you.

I like candy, but I don't eat it in the movie.

Okay.

No Sour Patch Kids?

I kind of like Sour Patch Kids, but, you know, you reach that point where your mouth is hurting

because you're eating that shit too much.

Yes.

Too many?

Yes.

Yes.

I don't know. Okay.
No Sour Patch Kids? I kind of like Sour Patch Kids, but you reach that point where your mouth is hurting because you're eating that shit too much. Yes.
Too many? Yes. That happens to me all the time.
I'd rather have a payday and just be fine. That's right.
I was doing some research at your numbers. It says online that you are the highest grossing actor of all time.
Is that true? Could be. $6.7 billion in box office receipts.
I mean, that's an erroneous kind of number

or a dubious

honor because

everybody who's in that movie

whose name is on

the cast list

that was in that movie can make that same

claim.

But they just weren't in all the same movies I was in.

If you're in that movie, then they just

say, okay, you're in the movie, so you're part of the

box office. You're the common threat.
you don't have to be above the title below the title just that you're in the movie so there's a lot of people that have done a whole bunch of movies as extras or as you know secondary tertiary characters that have a great box office too just because their name's on the cast list right so it's an interesting thing to say about somebody but not necessarily true because i remember when it happened i was doing um star wars and george said you're gonna pass harrison when this movie comes out and i was like pass him at what and he's like you know box office totals really that's there's a thing for that and he's like yeah and when this movie comes out you going to pass him because you're only so-and-so dollars from him. Oh, well, I'm going to pass him before that.
And he's like, how? So I got a little movie coming out called The Incredibles. It's coming out before this.
Oh, boy. And he was like, oh, I was hoping you were going to cross it with me.
I was like, that would have been nice, but this movie's opening. So Incredibles opened and I kicked his ass and then Star Wars happened and I got by.
You just lapped him even more. Are you the best cursor alive? I have no idea.
I think you might be. I'm sure there's quite a few.
Maybe a football coach is up there, but when you curse, it's an art form. You feel it.
Even when you've done it very organically in this interview, I don't know what it is, but it's something about it. Auel l jackson curse just hits different well it's not i mean i do curse at people in anger from time to time but most of the times it's you know it's an interesting descriptive or it's a way to make something a little more colorful or whatever and it sounds and feels better when it comes out yeah what's your favorite curse word my favorite curse word word is probably motherfucker.
Because I use it for a lot of different things. What different ways are you talking about? You can mother fuck somebody if you're mad.
Or you can say that or you can describe a person as you know the motherfucker I'm talking about or that motherfucker you know immediately one was a friendly guy and one was a not-so-friendly guy. Or you're saying, oh, man, that shit's a motherfucker.
You know, oh, it's some really great shit. Or you can say, oh, that shit's a motherfucker.
It means it's horrible or whatever. Or, you know, man, that car is a motherfucker.
And you know it's like, oh, great car. That motherfucking car is like, the car is raggedy as fuck.
You know that. So it's easy to use it as a descriptive or whatever.
Or you talk about your girl like, oh man, that motherfucker is everything. He really loves it.
Yeah. So it's that.
You just proved it. It's that word that you can use in every kind of way.

Okay.

By the way, we can't swear on this podcast.

Oh, no problem.

We'll bleep those.

Oh, well, that's a motherfucking shame.

I'm just kidding.

We actually were hoping because what happens with a lot of our guests, like halfway through

the interview, we'll drop a swear and they're like, can you swear on this?

And we'll be like, fuck yeah, you can.

And we'll just let them all fly.

We were hoping that would happen here.

But you swear right out of the gate. It's like when I joined Twitter.
I want to talk about your Twitter. Oh, really? It's wild.
When I joined Twitter on, what was I on? Oh, Fallon. Yeah.
In New York. My first tweet was, can you say fuck on this motherfucker? That's perfect.
Your Twitter's wild. One, you don't know how to use a hashtag.
My Twitter, why? What are you supposed to do with a hashtag? You don't separate it. Do you have gaps between them? Yeah, you have a gap between them.
Oh, you don't have gaps. You do have gaps.
Are you not supposed to gap between them? You're supposed to. No, you're supposed to.
What Samuel Hall does is he puts all of the hashtags together and doesn't put any gaps. I don't put a space between the hashtags.
So what difference does it make? So you can't click on the hashtag. You just have unclickable hashtags.
So I'm just fucking with the person that wants to click on my hashtag. Yeah, pretty much.
Why do you want to click on my hashtag? Because we want to see what everyone else is talking about. You started the conversation.
Yeah. So you put a space between them.
Yes. I'm not asking that.
I asked my daughter that. No, it will look blue when you space it.
It shows blue when you tweet it. Because I tweeted something today.
Did I put a space between them? No, you never No, you never do. You never do.
I didn't put a space between it today? You never ever do. Okay, fine.
It's hilarious. It's its own way.
So my other question about your Twitter, like when you tweet sports, please tell me that you are like screaming the way that you scream on Twitter because that's how everyone reads it. Like you have a certain, you have such a unique style about your Twitter and, you know, the way you speak and the, the swearing and everything.
When you tweet about something, everyone automatically reads it in your voice. I'm hoping you're saying it out loud.
I didn't tweet any football last year. Yeah, I know why I loved your tweet.
I had a whole NFL thing. I mean, I gotta, you know, I mean, I have to take part of the, you know, fuck them.
Okay. They're going to black ball, you know.
Kaepernick. Kaepernick.
Yeah. See, he doesn't do hashtags.
And hire other assholes that do really fucked up shit. No NFL last year? No, I didn't do the NFL at all last year.
Did you watch college? I love college football. Yeah.
So I wrote down a couple of your funnier tweets. How you feed a hungry man.
Go ahead, Chubb. And then what the hell is that when you type that most mugger poga poga of a run it's it's most motherfucker of a run but that's not how you type it that is most mo you g h p o-A.
M-O-U-G-A. M-O-U-G-A.
P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

P-H-O-U-G-A.

motherfucker.

All right, here's one of your hashtags.

I spell motherfucker like anything that pops into my head. Okay, so are you saying that out loud when you're tweeting it?

Because I hope so.

That's how I envision it.

I just said it, man.

Most motherfucker ever run.

Yeah, or you said, yeah, man's got to be somewhere.

Get out the fucking way.

Yeah.

And, like, I'm just envisioning you watching like Georgia versus Auburn just going crazy on your couch. Yes.
Thank God. Okay.
All right, here's your hashtag. That's all I wanted.
Yeah. Because you would have ruined the illusion if you were sitting there silently.
No, no, no. Being like, tweeting about it.
Okay. I'm having a great time.
Good, good. Here's your hashtag game.
Damn, I missed this dude. Hashtag hitman's wife bodyguard,

knickknack,

knoll,

zon,

beauty patrol,

afro samurai,

afro...

You know what?

I take it back.

At Trieste, Italy.

Your hashtag game is perfect.

I do like your hashtag.

It's so unique.

It's perfect.

Everything just running together

makes no sense.

And your Instagram game,

by the way,

unbelievable,

because it's half of the pictures

are just you taking a picture of your shirt with, like, the bottom of your chin. Yeah.
It's perfect. And half the time it's you getting a barber.
My signature shot used to be, like, one eye in the corner shooting the thing that's behind me because I want people to see what I'm seeing and know that I'm really there. Right.
So I just put half of my... Hank is wrong.
Fuck, I talk loud enough for you to hear this shit. Lawrence Taylor almost killed him.
Yeah. He did.
Lawrence Taylor was like this. And Hank was like, Mr.
LT, can you put the. And he's like looked at him like.
I talk loud enough for you to hear me. But I usually put one eye in the corner and then the thing that I'm talking about in the background.
It's good. You're crushing social media.
I have fun with it. Yeah.
I'm too old to be fucking with that shit, really. Are you a Raptors fan? Yeah.
So what's going on with the finals? Because we're going to run this while the finals are still going on. Do you think this is actually going to happen? I don't know.
It's possible. I'm a Raptors fan because I was shooting Long Kiss Goodnight the first year the Raptors started in Toronto.
So me and my assistant at the time used to get tickets. And Isaiah was my friend, so he always gave me tickets to every game.
So I was there on the floor when, you know, they started with Oliver Miller and all those guys. Big O.
Okay, so I've been there, which led to me having a Raptor bag in Jackie Brown. When the dude said, do you have the money? I was, yeah, right here in my Raptor bag.
And I had the Raptor, you know, bag full of money. so yeah I've been a Raptor bag in Jackie Brown.
When the dude said, do you have the money? I was, yeah, right here in my Raptor bag.

And I had the Raptor bag full of money.

So, yeah, I've been a Raptor fan since they started.

And you kind of named the Raptors, too.

I mean, they were named after Jurassic Park.

I don't think they would have gotten that name if it wasn't for the movie.

That's possible. You're like the godfather of the team.

So, are you a Kawhi fan?

Because I also heard that you were a little bit of a Spurs fan.

But I was, you know, because I was a huge Spurs fan. Because I like pop, you know, and all that.
You know, there's a whole bunch of things that go together. And Tim Duncan and, you know, Tony and all the older guys, they were like my guys because it was like a generational thing, and I've been watching them for a while, and Pop's a great coach.
Really nice dude, and, you know, I've had some interesting interactions with him. So, yeah, I like the team.
And, you know, I felt kawaii missed that one free throw that allowed miami to get that one championship that they shouldn't have right right yeah that's yeah that's true so you talk generational you ready for this this is a great segue generational shaft three generations of shafts in the new movie right uh do you i know i read about like how when you firstft franchise in 2000, you're like, how can I beat Roundtree? I'm trying to beat him. Not beat him, but how can I take a role that was so iconic and make my imprint on it? Now you're 19 years later.
You've got three generations. Do you think Shaft's just going to keep living on past you? I think there's a way that the mythology of that particular character works in this community so well and people understand him that if they accept the guy that's playing him and he comes in with the right dynamic.
It's like when I said to John when he wanted to do it in 2000, John Singleton, rest in peace, that we can't do this movie unless Richard is in it. So that people will understand Richard is still Richard.
He's still the, you know. Passing the torch.
Yeah, he's still the sex machine for all the chicks. Right.
I got to be something different. Right.
And it works. And then I can get to allowing Jesse to come into that family and use the gene pool that is his to create something that's his own that will define the character in this generation that's cool so hopefully that'll happen when like the three of you all come in dress the same it's kind of like oh this is cool this is iconic yeah right exactly I wanted to thank you while i have you here because uh in 2000 i went to go see shaft in movie theaters and i touched a boob in the movie all right all right yeah more than i did i didn't touch any in the movie yeah it was nice you never did a lot of movie no i kept saying to him his hands are full of popcorn when is my fucking moment to be the sex machine yeah yeah in the movie yeah yeah all right last question movie.
Yeah, yeah. All right.
Last question because we know you got to go. You got a long day.
Hopefully you've had fun here. I did.
Seeky question. Promo code take.
Put it in. How much fun is doing those commercials with Charles Barkley and Spike Lee? Oh.
Do you guys actually have fun? Because it looks a lot of fun. Awesome amount of fun.
Okay. Doing the three amigos.
Okay. You know, Chuck has no problem making fun of himself

which is the really wonderful

thing. And they write some good stuff

for us to do that we can fix

on the fly and kind of make right.

Because we enjoyed having Larry Burry with us

this year.

All the extra stuff that goes along with that.

I mean those are great commercials. It's hard to make a

commercial that everyone's like that was funny. Gymnats is a great amount

of fun.

Everybody will look at him and go, he's probably sticking with him. No, he's cool.
Dude is hilarious. Right, right.
And a great guy. Yeah.
I'm upset you didn't wear a Kangol. That's my only last one.
Yeah. Maybe next time.
You make it cool. It's not a cool hat.
You know it's not a cool hat. I have no idea.
Okay. LL Cool J made him cool back in the day before I started wearing it.
You kept it going. All right.
All right. Thank you so much.
Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.
Samuel L. Jackson.
C-Shaft, June 14th. Get some motherfucking of a movie.
We're going to get right back to the show. The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options, which is why with USAA Auto Insurance, you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button.
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USAA. All right, back to part of my take.
Pardon. That interview with Samuel L.
Jackson was brought to you by Bird Dogs. I'm going off script.
I decided today that I wasn't going to use a script at all for my Bird Dog endorsement because I believe in Bird Dogs that much. I'm wearing them right now.
I wore them all weekend. It's all I'm wearing this summer.
Perfect shorts. They are the perfect short.
We always say the shorts are back. And when I think of shorts, my platonic ideal of shorts is bird dogs.
I'm telling you, if you buy these shorts, you will thank me. Jeff Lowe, he does Lights, Camera, Barstool, a podcast here.
Listen to it. Download, subscribe, unsubscribe, resubscribe, and rate five stars.

He told me.

He saw me wearing bird dogs around the office.

He's like, are those any good?

And I was like, yeah, they're only the best fucking shorts you'll ever put on in your life.

Off script.

He's bought about seven pairs, and he says he thanks me when I come into work. A big, grown man.

He had tears in his eyes thanking me, telling me what a great job I did recommending that to him.

He gave you a standing ovation when you walked into the office. Big, strong, tough guy.
Guys like this don't usually cry. And he saw me, and he was crying.
He had tears in his eyes. He said, PFT, I'm so thankful for everything that you've done for my legs, everything that you've done for my waistband, everything that you've done for the entire lower half of my body and my brain.
Because when you wear bird dog shorts, you're smarter. Your brain operates at a higher level.
You get the smooth brain. Your brain's so smooth, you'll think through problems you never even thought were possible to even think about in the first place.
That's my off-script ad for birddogs.com, but I meant every word for it. Go to birddogs.com and enter promo code TAKE, T-A-K-E, and they will throw in a pair of nunchucks.
That's right, Birddogs.com. Promo code TAKE.
And boom. A free pair of nunchucks with your pair of birddogs.
And you know what? If you're a big, strong guy out there and you have tears in your eyes because you're loving your birddogs so much, feel free to just thank me. Just say PFT.
Thank you. Big tough guy like you.
Don't usually cry. Thank me.
Do you have another ad? You're welcome. Oh, thank you.
You're welcome. Do another ad.
Nope. That's it.
Okay. Let's get to some segments.
First up, we have a stay classy Mac Max Muncy because he got into it with Madison Bumgarner after a home run Giants Dodgers. Max Muncy said that Madison Bumgarner yelled at him and said, don't look at the what he said he said like don't watch the ball and muncie replied uh if you don't want me to watch the ball you can go get it out of the ocean which by the way pretty solid clap back there's no way he said that get it out of the ocean well he said it to a reporter yeah he said he thought about it for a while yeah he probably was like go fuck yourself fuck you fuck you fuck no fuck you back and forth yeah and then after he's like hey you know four hours after the game and he's like hey max what'd you say to madison he's like get this yeah told him to get out of the ocean it's like when you when you get into a fight with somebody at a bar and you go home and you tell all your friends about it oh dude it was i had the perfect zinger for him bro and i love I love how Mad Bum gets so pissed off about this because he's good for like three or four of these a year.
Oh, yeah. Where he just gets mad that somebody hit one off the moon.
If you actually hit a ball off the moon against Madison Bumgarner, he'd get pissed off at you and be like, why are you staring at the night sky, bro? Madison Bumgarner is one of the last guys that we need in this league because he is an anti-bat flipper anti like pimp your home run and if you don't have these people then everything just falls apart i've never talked about all the time like goose gossage is actually very important he's like an he's like a beaver for the ecosystem if you don't have someone yelling about bat flips and pimping home runs then we're all on twitter being like bat flips are awesome fuck the old guys it's like dude you're talking about no one now we all agree yep so thank god for madison bump garner no i like it too it it spices up the game a little bit and i've never really understood the term pimping a home run oh yeah i don't really pimp walk i don't get it yeah you pimp walk it is that what it is i always thought that there was like you pimpimp it out. Yeah, you're trying to get your home run to fuck somebody.
Right. You just pimp it out to everyone.
You get paid because your home run ball fucked someone, and then you get a cut of that ball's money. Correct.
So it sounds like you do get it. Because you smacked the ball, too.
Yeah, and it got wet. Yeah, okay.
Got it. In this case.
Haha, Jake. Madison Bumgarner, though.
You like to get wet. I fucking, I do love him because he really is like an old school.
You just need a few of these guys. If you don't have a few of these guys, everything falls apart.
And you know who's got his back. I'll give you one guess, but you probably.
Danny Cannell. Oh, well, yeah.
Danny definitely does that. Doug Gottlieb.
Doug Gottlieb definitely has his back, too. But in terms of like a player that's been around the game recently, Aubrey Huff.
Oh, yeah. Aubrey Huff said that he is the most country-strong guy that he's ever seen.
And he wishes that Max Muncy would charge him. Yeah.
I kind of wish he would, too. I've seen the last time Baumgartner got in a fight, it was against Puig.
And he did the thing where he walked away from him. Yeah.
I wouldn't fuck with Madison Baumgartner. I wouldn't fuck with Puig, though.
Yeah. That would be a a good fight to watch that would be a good real fight to watch but speaking of good real fights to watch yeah you want to do the tale of the tape yeah so justin bieber has challenged tom cruise to a fight in the octagon maybe maybe a boxing ring who knows maybe rough and rowdy uh we have our our pmt intern sports biz you can follow him pm Sports Biz.
He broke down the tail of the tape. By the way, how did this start? Justin Bieber just tweeted it out.
He just doesn't like him? Now we don't know. It's going to be fake.
It could be. Stay woke.
Or it could be like this league with recording artists and movie stars and celebrities. The thing is, Bieber doesn't like tweets, so why would he tweet that? Yeah, why would he the tale of the tape uh brought to us by pmt sports biz justin bieber 25 years old tom cruise 56 years old height justin bieber 5 9 tom cruise 5 7 which no chance that's right no tom cruise is like 5 5 right crazy for a guy to lie about his height no yeah all the time absolutely not but um no one i want to jump in to defend jake marsh real quick on this because this lie about his height.
No, yeah. All the time.
Absolutely not. But I want to jump in to defend Jake Marsh real quick on this.

Oh, okay.

Because this is his listed height on the internet.

Right.

But he's lying about that.

He's definitely lying.

Which people lying about their height on the internet is like a fucking psycho move.

No, it's a big, big fucking deal.

Right.

Like, as somebody that doesn't lie about his height.

Ever.

It makes me look bad by association.

Correct.

Yeah.

So you're 5'8". I also don't like to see...
I i told big cat this last week but i guess i'll say it publicly because he'll just hold it over my head if i don't i haven't measured myself in the last like six years because i'm afraid i'll come in at 5 8 because you are 5 8 but i think i'm 5 9 right because i know other people who are 5 9 or who tell me they're 5 9 and", and I'm the same height as them. You're 5'8".
We don't know. Okay, so.
Embrace debate. Estimated reach.
Actually, I might be 6 feet tall. You could be.
I don't know. Estimated reach, 68 inches for Justin Bieber, 65 for Tom Cruise, net worth $265 million, $570 million for Tom Cruise.
I still think Tom Cruise would kick his ass. Tom Cruise would murder him.
Dude, he does all his own stunts, Hank? He's like 60. I don't even know if he does all his own stunts.
I doubt he does. He does.
There's no way he's like hanging outside of a helicopter at Mission Impossible. Yes, that's him.
All of them? Yeah, and when he did that thing where he like jumped. Dude, Biebs has to like dance and do stunts for his concerts.
Oh, he has to dance? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Biebs has to play basketball with a bunch of lackeys where he crosses them up with a slow crossover and everyone's like, oh, shit.
Yeah, no, those are impressive videos. And his hockey videos are crazy, too.
Tom Cruise doing stunts for movies is basically just a dance. It's just like choreographed moves.
It's hardcore. You cannot tell the difference between a video online...
And Justin Bieber's way younger and taller. Of Vladimir Putin playing hockey against a bunch of people he'll murder and Justin Bieber playing hockey against all of his fake best friends you can't tell they're the same Putin would fuck up Tom Cruise too yeah agreed well duh that wasn't you're just changing the topic here well you're comparing Putin and Justin Bieber and I'm saying in a very bad way he compares that they would both fuck up Tom Cruise he's saying he plays sports where everyone lets him be the best all the time.
I wasn't saying that Vladimir Putin and Justin Bieber are equally good at shit. Tom Cruise also has a Scientology craziness.
That is under... Justin Bieber's got the hot pastor church shit, though.
He's not crazy, though. Tom Cruise is crazy.
He's crazy, Hank. I just think that that adds an element that you can't really put.
I'd like to disavow what Big Cat's saying about Scientology. I think it's wonderful religion filled with great people that are not litigious and would never come after us for anything.
I didn't say Scientology was crazy. Big Scientology guy.
Tom Cruise is crazy for his Scientology beliefs. No, no.
Bebs is a beast. He's in the prime of his career right now.
What? Tom Cruise is washed up. Dude, Bebs has done so many drugs.
Did you say Tom Cruise is washed up? Allegedly. Did you see Mission Impossible Fallout? No.
He filmed like half of it with a broken foot. You're crazy, Hank.
He crushed it. Remember when he jumped on Ellen's couch? That takes a lot of core strength, actually.
It does. No joke.
He was just very in love. That I don't have.
Justin Bieber's never been that in love. Yeah.
When I stood up on that chair on Thursday night to try to take the picture of Patrick Sharp, my core was burning for like three days after that. Although, I do kind of, like Hank's been talking me into supporting Bieber in this whole thing just because it's all fake.
Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
And then Conor McGregor called out Mark Wahlberg. So now we're just going to do this forever.
Where'd Mark Wahlberg come from? I have no idea. I think he might have called him out before, but it's call-out season.
They all got together, and this is some sort of cool marketing for something that we don't know yet. Hey, Colin Coward, we'll take you down, bitch.
Yeah, fuck you, Coward. Yeah, two on one.
You won't do it. Bitch.
Bitch. Little bitch.
Okay, we have talking tennis. Rafa won again.

12th French Open on the clay.

He's 92-2 all time on the clay.

And he's goat clay status.

Well, he's the king of clay.

He's performed.

Hey, Rafa performs so good on clay. He's like Kawhi Leonard.
Nice. There you go.
Got it. Got it.
Clay locked. Nice.
Nice. He's got clay locked down.
Like negative five boobs. Yeah, that was pretty bad.
So, yeah, that was talking tennis. I don't really have anything else.
Oh, he just always wins the clay. You know what? It's going to be a very sad day where I find out who won the French Open the night after it happened, and it's not roughing it all.
I'm very upset about that. It was crazy looking at all the years.
I think he's basically, what is it, since 2006, he's won every year. There's two misses, but he just keeps fucking winning these tournaments.
It's crazy. Also, I just like the visual of the clay.
It's a big time flex if you go to somebody's house and not only do they have a tennis court, but they have a clay court tennis court. Dr.
Phil. Dr.
Phil has a clay court. Dr.
Phil made us go see his clay court. He's like, here, come on, fellas.
Come check out this clay court. I was going to play.
I had a game. Play eight times a week.
It's really bad at tennis, but he plays all the time. He plays eight times a week.
All right. Last up before we get to our Monday reading, thoughts and prayers, Big Papi.
He was shot. Apparently he's in stable condition.
We don't know. Was shot at a nightclub.
The surgeon who did the surgery said he's out of danger. Oh, that's good.
Okay. That's good.
Also, thoughts and prayers to all the Yankees, Yankee fans who have to tweet, as a Yankee fan, I still want to send my thoughts and prayers. This is big time as a Yankee fan season where everyone has to declare what team they root for and then say something that's completely normal and makes you just a regular human being like, hey, it's bad that this person was shot.

Yeah.

Thank you for taking a stand for showing that, you know, some things are bigger than a rivalry. And one of those things is somebody getting shot.
As a Yankee fan. So I read.
I don't want to see this guy die. I read that the shot he got shot through his back.
It went out of his stomach and he was in surgery. I hope that he's doing OK.
this is like the I was saying earlier

this is the Mad Libs perfect storm

of Colin Coward foot and mouth takes. Oh, yeah.
I remember still when Sean Taylor got shot. Are you doing serious PFT right now? I'm doing serious FT because that's actually why I don't like Colin Coward and probably never will for basically throwing dirt on Sean Taylor's reputation while he was in the hospital dying.
That's Colin Coward's move, though. Yeah.
He loves just basically finding the place you shouldn't go. He's going to go there.
Not afraid to go there. Not afraid to go there.
But, yeah, David Ortiz, Big Papi, I hope that you're doing well. Shout out you.
Are you okay? No, I'm sad. I actually really do like him.
No, of course. I like him, too.
Yeah. He's a recurring guest.
I think it sounds like he's going to be okay. It like him too.
Yeah, he's a recurring guest.

I think it sounds like he's going to be okay.

It's crazy.

It's a weird headline to see come across on a Sunday night.

You're like, what the fuck? I read that it wasn't a nightclub, that it was an amusement center or something like that.

I think that's what they call it.

It was a restaurant.

No, it was a restaurant.

I saw an entertainment center, which I assume is what they call a nightclub.

There's a surveillance video of it.

It doesn't look like an attempted robbery as much.

It was just like a guy.

Fucking crazy?

Yeah.

But he sounds like he's going to be okay.

He's out of danger.

I don't know.

I definitely don't want to say that.

No, of course not.

But, you know, we can tweet that as a Yankee fan.

We want Big Papi to be better.

I fucking love the internet, how it's so stupid. We actually won't tweet that.
Yeah, no, we won't. But a lot of people have already tweeted it.
You can search as a Yankee fan right now. I'm going to do it right now.
And see how many come up. As a Yankee fan.
Just stay classy. Dude, it's a very human, normal reaction to be like, this guy that everyone watched, we hope he's okay.
You don't have to tell us that you're also a yankee fan uh there there are some bad takes oh really yes yikes there's some very bad how could anyone like who doesn't like big poppy i mean as a big yankees fan i always rooted against the red sox but i hope and pray wow ortiz will be okay that was really nice of him yeah he even went as far to say he always rooted against Red Sox, but I hope and pray that David Ortiz will be okay. That was really nice of him.
He even went as far to say he always rooted against the Red Sox, but a Red Sox getting shot is one too far for him. Wow.
What a human. I really hope David Ortiz is okay.
As a Yankee fan and non-Dominican, I have so much respect for that man and what he has done for baseball. Wow.
Yeah, okay. Interesting.

The humanity we find on Twitter is unreal. It's crazy how you can feel sympathy for somebody

even though you didn't grow up in the same country they did.

Or they were the rival to the team you root for.

Actually, that is kind of rare in today's society.

Yeah, that actually is true.

Good for you, Margarita.

Good job, Twitter.

At Maggie with two Ys.

But we do actually hope that David Ortiz is okay.

Sounds like he's out of danger because Hank told told us that so let's just if you know well there's that old saying that like a country that has had david ortiz grown up in it has never fought a war against another country like that true yeah that's fact all right monday reading uh this one comes from the washington post it is titled dodgeball is a tool of oppression used to dehumanize others, researchers argue. Wow.
Okay. One of Jim class's most common games is being used as a tool of oppression, according to a team of Canadian researchers.
Wow. So Canada is the one who's leading this, just so we can get that out there right now.
It's too violent for Canada. Dodgeball in phys ed classes teaches students to dehumanize and harm their peers.
Professors from three Canadian universities said in a presentation this week at the Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences in Vancouver. That is a real thing, I guess.
The Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. When you're setting up the environment for students to learn and you introduce the idea that it's okay to slam the ball at whomever you like, even with a soft ball, the intention is there.
Yeah, I've always wondered about that, by the way. So, yeah, I see why gym class and all that stuff exists, but why are schools tied in with sports? Going back to high school.
You've got to get fit. But I'm saying, like, why is it your school that has a basketball team or your school that has a soccer team? Are you saying organized sports? No, I love high school sports, and I played several poorly.
But what I'm saying is that, like, it's always kind of a weird concept that it's like the school also is sports. Yes.
At the same time. Well, it's a community.
The community. Yeah.
The community. Yeah.
When students think it's OK because we're being told it's OK to do that. What do they learn? People say dodgeball is being used in an outlet for aggression or catharsis.
I suspect that this is where they're learning that. I think it's just a game that you just fucking pass the time with when your shitty gym teachers like here just throw balls at each other.
Yeah, also I feel like dodgeball hasn't really been played in most gym classes in the last 10 years or so anyways. And the balls are really soft.
Yeah. Like they actually have made them.
I played dodgeball a couple years ago. We played it like last year.
Yeah. And the balls were very soft, and it wasn't like the kickballs that we used to play with that actually fucking hurt because they'd rip off your skin.
Right. These are the gator skin ones.
Right. They're soft.
They're soft. They're like pillows.
They actually feel really nice to hold. Yeah.
What I think if you don't have – the alternative to not having dodgeball is probably a bunch of other sports that are more dehumanizing so this is coming out of canada where you're literally allowed to fight people on the ice and hockey yes like you can pick out a weakling and beat the shit out of them yes or cross check them into the boards but i would much rather have that that uh confrontation going down with a tiny soft little dodgeball right across the room and you say no headshots to start so it's all good but yeah say no headshots you're fine yeah but then the first guy tries to duck and he ducks yes your headshot well not really a headshot yeah not really a headshot uh not targeting physical education should be an arena where teachers are helping students control their aggression and move on instead of expressing themselves through anger i kind of disagree with that i feel like physical education should just be like, play a bunch of shitty games, don't have to be in class for an hour, and don't overthink it. Well, there is some truth to the fact that if you just tell somebody never to get mad, they just build up a lot of anger.
Until they headhunt. And then they start headhunting.
Hunting with dodgeballs, right. They took away Hitler's PE class, and that's why he spent all his's been an artist yeah yeah researchers set out to interview middle school age students about broader questions in physical education courses but kept hearing the same thing from certain students they hated dodgeball yeah from the ones that sucked at dodgeball i think what this article is also leaving out is that yeah the students might not like it but the adults love watching kids drill other kids in the face with dodgeballs.
Yeah, if you have a good arm, you really love it. Yeah, it's mostly just for the adults to just kick back and enjoy and watch.
Like, you know, the kids hurt each other. Right.
So they then made it like they basically tried to scare us the most with, I think of the little girl who is running to the back to avoid being targeted. What is she learning in that class? Avoidance? I don't know.
Maybe, I don't know, just like to avoid predators. Yeah, run faster.
Yeah. Be able to duck.
Yeah. Have a better.
Actually, you shouldn't avoid. You should grab a ball and use that as your shield.
Yeah. So it's actually teaching them to be smart, not stupid, and just run around.
Right. If that little kid finds themselves out in nature and there's a lion around, you want them to know that they're supposed to run away from danger yeah the message is that it's okay to hurt or dehuman do you i can't say that word dehumanize the other the competition is about annihilating one's opponent and the true definition of competition is between two evenly matched teams that's not true like if you play any sport you're trying to crush the opponent right that's that's the idea.
This feels like very Canada right now where they're like, yeah, you do not. Sportsmanship above all.
I get that in youth. But like eventually you're going to grow up and be an adult and people are going to be like, well, let's just make sure we have a very evenly matched game.
Yeah. Also, if you don't want to be playing dodgeball, it's probably the easiest sport to lose intentionally.
Yes. Just like on purpose, get yourself out in the first five minutes.
This is the best. Well, kids stack their teams, and they really enjoy beating the other team.
What's the enjoyment of that? If you're betting on it, it's a lot. I was going to say there's nothing.
That's like saying, hey, why are you playing Madden on easy and going 16-0? Because it's fucking fun.

Because I put up mad stats.

Like, dude, do you see?

Like, if I was playing in college football, I'd win the Heisman every year.

It's fucking awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did schedule Eastern Washington and, like, Tulsa.

So what?

I put up 15 touchdowns in those games.

What was your guys' favorite obscure PE sport growing up?

I love playing Foursquare. We should bring back Foursquare.
Foursquare was sick. Foursquare was great.
It was called Battleships with those little carts. No.
Was that a situate thing? They gave you guys grocery carts? No, they were like these little tiny carts that you had to wheel around. You'd fuck up your hand.
I don't know. Grocery cart.
No, they're little... You were just playing jackass.
You were doing Johnny Knoxville. That's kind of fun.
The final line of this is... Oh, wall ball was sick.
I'm happy that they had a bunch of researchers go in-depth here because they finished with, gym classes are largely centered around games, which can be great, but can also exclude students with different strengths.

You just explained how every gym class that has ever existed. What about fucking math classes where people aren't smart?

Yeah.

Great fucking point, man.

Yeah.

It's not fair.

No, it's not fair.

If you can't read.

Exactly.

Right.

I failed algebra. Spelling B.
I felt awful. Oh.
Dude, I had... Same.
When they started doing... What's the one above...
Calculus. Oh, I didn't even touch calculus.
I wasn't even close to calculus. It's just dodgeball with your own brain cells.
It sucks. I can't fucking do calculus.
That shit was crazy. Did any of you guys do calculus? No.
I took... Not even...
We are adamantly disavowed calculus. My freshman year of college, I took one year of calculus, and then I went back to algebra two somehow in college.
Yeah, I took, you know what I took in college? I took, you had to take like some kind of math or science class. I took nutritional sciences.
That was my only science class. So my math class that I took in college was called environmental mathematics, and here's the entire semester was semester was the same equation, but they changed a little bit.
So it was like, there are 500 fish in this pond after every year, like 10% of the fish will die of natural causes, but they reproduce at a rate of 8% a year for 75. So that was, that was a question like in five years, how many fish will be in the pond? That was the only equation that we had had and they would just change the type of animal and the location for each weekly lesson so like the next week it was like how many iguanas are in the rainforest if they die 525 yeah yeah exactly yeah so if you could figure out that one equation you could get an a i also c plus yeah i mean once you figure out once you once you get old enough to figure out that all the uh the odd numbers are in the back of the book for all your math textbooks, that's pretty much where your math education dies.
Because you're like, I will cheat off all the odd numbers, and then I will scribble a bunch of numbers on the even numbers and show my work. Remember, show my work.
Fuck show my work. I just told my teacher I'm going to fucking get the answers.
I'd be like, I'm smart enough where I just thought of that number. It just happened that I got all the odds right.
Whoops. Write fake work all the way to the bottom of the page and then look like you're squeezing it in and then be like, question mark.
Like, what is this? Show my work. Fuck show my work.
I'll say this. I've learned 50 times as much math from gambling and smoking weed and buying weed than I ever did in any sort of math class.
Oh, yeah. And buying in in new york city where you're like that's expensive yeah that's pretty much it so yeah math gym class whatever it's fun yeah cereal too yeah you're like what relatable yeah what i mean it is but some of our listeners live in new york city i know other people know that new york city is expensive i know how to divide grams and ounces nobody knows knows how to do that shit.
We basically just proved that you need to keep dodgeball. You need to keep sports where you can just chuck things at people.
There should be a class where you sell weed. Because some of us don't do math.
Dude, calculus, man. We should take a calculus class.
Fuck that. No, I don't even want to do this.
It would be funny to have us just sit there and be like, what is going on? Off-season brain alert. Liam, you took calculus? No.
Oh. I'm saying four minutes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We should finish Liam's degree. Mm-hmm.
Damn. Liam dropped out of college with one semester left? Two semesters left.
We should finish his degree. At our pace.
Absolutely not. Well, no, we're going to gonna have fucking jake marsh he's smart we're gonna have him remember we found that fake college over in europe that you can just buy degrees from but dude what if we got an online class we just made because like jake marsh who's sitting right here but just don't give my contact he we're just like hey busy work do this real quick it's a calculus class that happens to be UMass Amherst.
Yeah, I like that. Here's some busy work.
It's a Scantron test. Your assignment for next week is to bring in number two pencils.
Don't worry about it. If we could all walk across the stage, that would be worth it.
Yes. If we all go cap and gown across the stage, it would definitely be worth it.
Let's start small. Let's set our goals low and just try to watch a random NFL game at some point this week from like 2007.
I don't know if I can do long division anymore. Fuck.
All right. Wednesday, we have one of our most talked about story arcs.
We made a reference to him in this show. And he will be on

Wednesday, so get excited.

You'll be very excited

for this interview. We're also going to give you a little

music from

our colleague Frank the Tank to take

us out. He put together a song

for the St. Louis Blues not winning the

Stanley Cup tonight. It's catchy as hell.

It's catchy as hell. Wait, real quick, before we

jump out of here, are we going to do

Soggy Sorrows if the Bruins lose?

Yeah, have to. I, are we going to do

Soggy Sorrows if the Bruins lose?

Yeah, have to. I think you should have to do it

too, Big Cat. Why? Because St.
Louis winning

a Stanley Cup, that's just as bad as

Hank. He's kind of a Bruins fan.

I would have been mad if the

Blues had won on home ice. Now I'm just going to pretend

that it, especially because it's on an off night

of the show, I'm just going to pretend it doesn't exist.

So the game will be on Wednesday, and then by Thursday I'll be like, what are you talking about, Stanley Cup final? I don't even remember it. Smart.
Yeah. Feedpicks for sale.
Feedpicks. Let me know.
Yo, hit up Hank. Hit his cash app.
Love you guys. You put up those ads saying that you already had the Stanley Cup, but you forgot who they are.
Fifty years of losing they can't hide from. And they blew it big time.
That's what happens when you are in St. Louis.
You always gonna trouble.

And that's why they call them the Blues.

They'll never win the Stanley Cup. It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.