Samuel L Jackson, SCF, And The Warriors Are On The Ropes

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have the man, the myth, the legend, Samuel L. Jackson, the greatest cursor in the world, 150-plus movies, a bona fide A-lister.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. The highest-grossing actor of all time.
I'm excited. You should be excited.
It's awesome. We also have Stanley Cup Final Game 6.

Speaker 1 NBA Finals are the Warriors done or finished. Who's Back of the Week? And a Monday re- re when cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo.
The whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 1 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time. At participating, McDonald's.
Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the sound work you be done.

Speaker 1 Look at the handle washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to E-Lay Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elite Trick Avenue. It's Pardon My Tape presented by Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Tape, presented by the Cash App. Put in that code bar stool.
You get $5 on the Cash App and $5 to the ASPCA. Today is Monday, June 10th.
And according to the St.

Speaker 1 Louis Dispatch, congratulations to our champions, the St. Louis Blues.
Yeah, way to go, guys. Yeah, way to go.
We knew you could do it. Dewey defeats Truman.

Speaker 1 Here was the note from the St. Louis Blues.
Winning the Stanley Cup was a dream come true for so many of you.

Speaker 1 All of us will remember where we were, what we did, and how we felt when the Blues brought the cup home. That's tough.

Speaker 1 Each of us will have a library of memories to pass down for generations.

Speaker 1 Each of us will forever think of the person in our lives for whom this time meant so much. Yikes.
That's tough.

Speaker 1 That's like when you write an obituary for the news that you have to have on file, like ready to go, just in case somebody dies.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure someone somewhere has written an obituary for one of us in this room. Like when Florio killed Terry Bradshaw.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Or when Drew Brees got both of his legs broken in arms. Right, exactly.
Yeah, it's one of those things that I don't really blame the St.

Speaker 1 Louis Dispatch because they do have to be prepared, but for some, to get that leaked, is the big issue. I think what happened was they were they were trying to sell ads, right?

Speaker 1 So they sent it out to advertisers being like, this is what the paper will look like. If you win, your ad could run next to it, and then somebody took a picture of that email and sent it out.

Speaker 1 Stay woke. They need to start doing that.
They need to do fake ones whenever a team gets close to winning a championship and sell ads for that. Double dip.
What about...

Speaker 1 Because if there was an ad on this, people would be like, whoa, this is presented by the mattress guy down the road. That actually

Speaker 1 got more impressions than the real story would forget. Right, exactly.
At least online.

Speaker 1 So anyone out there, if you want to double dip, but we have game seven of the Stanley Cup final on Wednesday night. Hank, you're going to be there? Possibly.
Depend, maybe. Tickets are a little free.

Speaker 1 For your birthday? Now, it is my birthday. I'm thinking about going, but

Speaker 1 you should take some feet pics and put it on the internet and get some money up for that.

Speaker 1 If anyone wants to buy my feet pictures, I will.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do it. Everyone's here.
Hank's got great feet, by the the way. Get your cash app.
Yeah, shout out your cash app. And it's one of those things.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys can relate to this, but it's like game seven at home Bruins once-in-a-lifetime thing, but I'm not like a diehard Bruins fan, but it's one of those things.

Speaker 1 But it's your birthday and it's a party. It's a big type of thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is like they put it. But is a party worth that much money?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when they have all the planets aligned, it's called a Sydgey. Syjijy.
S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y, I think. This is the Hank Lockwood sports Syjijy that's happening.
I think that you should definitely go.

Speaker 1 Tell you what, you can wear some inflatable shoulder pads with bare feet. Maybe we drum up some money for it.
Well, he doesn't. Yeah, yeah.
Maybe, yeah. Let's get all of anyone who wants to see.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 Okay. Uh-oh.
I don't like this at all. I don't like this at all.
I don't like this at all. The answer is no.

Speaker 1 How much money would the AWLs put up for Hank to shave his beard? Oh, no. Oh.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. Interesting.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
I would throw in.

Speaker 1 I'd throw 50. I'd do 200 bucks.
Okay. I'll still throw 50.
I'll sweeten the pot. I'll let you throw 200 in.
How much would it take, hey?

Speaker 1 I don't know. You don't, come on, give me, give me a shot.
What if we got you on the glass?

Speaker 1 But then, no, that's problems. Because you'd be on the glass with no beard.
And everyone would be like, I was great without a beard, so I don't even care. Wear a fake beard.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would be great. Actually, no.
Speaking of which, we should touch on this. John Ham shaving his playoff beard before.

Speaker 1 Did he really do this? Yes. He was clean shaven in game six.

Speaker 1 I couldn't do that because that would be the same exact thing.

Speaker 1 I don't care if you're superstitious, whatever you, like if you're a sports fan and you're a team, you know, fan of your hockey team and they're in fucking game six of the Stanley Cup final and you have a beard, you cannot shave it.

Speaker 1 Listen, John Hamm. I don't care how big your dick is.
You need to keep that beard going St. Nick style until the end of the playoffs.
Was this for a roll?

Speaker 1 Even if it was for a roll, you just got to be like, hey, guess what, guys? You know, we're one game away. Doesn't matter.
Unreal. Unreal movement.
Postpone production on.

Speaker 1 The curse of John Hamm's hammer. There it is.
You ever seen his dick? Yeah, I have. In the sweatpants picture? Of course.
Everyone has. It's pretty good.
You got anything else? It's pretty big.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Yeah, it's pretty big.
Top mushroom stamp. Yep.
Yep. That's all I have to say about John Hammond.
All right,

Speaker 1 let's talk about the other finals that are going on. The Golden State Warriors are on the ropes.

Speaker 1 The Toronto Raptors, I actually wrote down a bunch of thoughts here, but the Toronto Raptors are really fucking good. Really fucking good.

Speaker 1 Kawhi Leonard is insane he had his 14 14th 30-point game in these playoffs so now he's in company with Jerry West

Speaker 1 okay go ahead you're not gonna get it Michael Jordan Jerry West Jerry West nope

Speaker 1 13 wait what is he averaging he has 14 30 point games oh I heard a single in these playoffs there's only three guys with more 30-point games in a single playoffs I heard a I heard a different stat from that okay so very similar so he's in company with MJ, who had 16 30-point games in a singular playoffs.

Speaker 1 Hakeem, who had 16 as well, and Kobe, who had 15. So that is insane rarefied area.
He'll probably get 15 on Monday night. He also has eight of those 30-point games on the road.
An absolute killer.

Speaker 1 And their defense is unreal, and they got the Warriors on the ropes. But now we get what we were hoping for.
Whispers. KD Watch.

Speaker 1 KD practiced.

Speaker 1 The one thing we were looking forward to was chaos. The Warriors Warriors are down 3-1.
I don't know if you ever heard this, but it's kind of an internet joke. The Warriors in 3-1 leads.

Speaker 1 This could actually be a great way to defeat a meme in real time.

Speaker 1 The only way that we've seen a meme die in the past has been like going out with a whimper, not a bang, like the crying MJ thing just kind of faded away after a couple years.

Speaker 1 This could be like a supernova explosion. The meme is done.
They take it down themselves. They took it down themselves.
That'd be poetic.

Speaker 1 Now, you're talking about KD and the chaos that's coming along with him practicing. Jalen Rose actually said that the practice didn't go well.
I don't know if Jalen Rose. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Today. This was today's report? Because I saw that yesterday.
Okay.

Speaker 1 No, because there was conflicting reports. On Saturday, there was the report that everyone's upset at KD and that he's not good.
It's like not responding.

Speaker 1 But then today, he was cleared to practice and I think practiced. Okay.
So

Speaker 1 I think everything went okay today. So I heard that the actual practice wasn't good.
Okay. He didn't play well.
We need someone to stat check. Yeah, check out what KD.
Let's do that PMS.

Speaker 1 Plus minus was in an unopposed practice today.

Speaker 1 But to add to that, KD

Speaker 1 can't help but throw a little bit of fuel on the fire. And he went on Instagram as he is wont to do from his main account, from his actual account this time, and he followed the following people.

Speaker 1 You ready? JaVail McGee, LeBron James, Kyle Kuzma, Lamar Odom, Todd Gurley, Aaron Donald. Where did you see this? This was online.
It was a fake news season with the Kawhi Apple story that went viral.

Speaker 1 No, no. It was very funny.
It was on today. He's probably just doing it to fuck with people.
Yes. And follow the Ball Brothers.
I think he'll play on Monday night. I really do.
And it will be chaos.

Speaker 1 And it's perfect because this is like

Speaker 1 the Warriors' entire season in a microcosm because it was, remember the Draymond fight with KD when he's like, we don't need you.

Speaker 1 We won without you. So why don't you leave? Called him a bitch, which is so wildly inappropriate to do.

Speaker 1 But now we're back to that spot where it's like, you do need him. He probably is still going to leave.
And the whole team's just waiting to see if he'll come and play in these finals.

Speaker 1 I also, the interesting thing with these finals to me is that, like, when a dynasty ends,

Speaker 1 it's kind of what's going on with the Warriors, where you just don't expect it. You always are just sitting there, like, hey, where are the Warriors? Why haven't they shown up yet? Yeah.

Speaker 1 When the Heat lost to the Spurs in 2014, they lost 4-1. When a lot of people have been making this analogy, but it does feel similar to the Lakers, Pistons in 2004.
Lakers win game two.

Speaker 1 You're like, okay, these are the Lakers. They're fine.
Pistons win 4-1. By the way, I went back and I looked.
The scores of that series are so funny. 87-75.
One of the games is 88-68.

Speaker 1 The highest scoring game was 99-91 in overtime. It's pretty much completely different basketball.

Speaker 1 But my point is, you go back like the 91 when the Bulls beat the Pistons 4-0 in the Eastern Conference finals. When the Bulls beat the Lakers 4-1 in the finals.

Speaker 1 When the Pistons beat the Celtics 4-2 in the 88 Eastern Conference finals. Whenever a dynasty ends, you just sit there being like, oh, they're going to turn it on.
It's going to happen.

Speaker 1 And it just doesn't.

Speaker 1 So it feels like that.

Speaker 1 As much as we all are inclined to be like, the Warriors can flip a switch and everything will be fine and they'll go nuclear Warriors on everyone.

Speaker 1 History shows that it's probably more likely the Raptors will finish them off on Monday night. What's crazy is that I didn't really see this coming.
It's mostly about KDE. But that's what happened.

Speaker 1 It's mostly about KD. But that's what happened.
But KD, if this Warriors team was still healthy,

Speaker 1 it would not be like, oh my God, the dynasty's over. They would be much more competitive, winning probably most of these games.
Because you saw how it went down with the Rockets.

Speaker 1 The Rockets were a very good team in the playoffs. Of course.
And they handled their business against them.

Speaker 1 I did get caught up in that, though, a little bit personally. So there is some truth to it because after game one, I put a large bet

Speaker 1 on the Warriors. I was like, this is easy money.

Speaker 1 Because the Warriors are going to go nuclear and they're going to flip the switch.

Speaker 1 The switch is across the room right now, and they don't have super long wingspan of KD to reach out and press the Switch button. Remember what I told you at the time?

Speaker 1 I said, just bet the Warriors game two. Yeah, you did tell me that.
I did. But I mean, plus money.
Nobody likes a guy that's like, I know, I know. I told you.

Speaker 1 But we were sitting in at the time. It was before.
I know. I'm not doing it after.
But I am 100% that guy that was like...

Speaker 1 We all are.

Speaker 1 To this day, I'm like, I think that they might go to Toronto, and I think they might beat them by 40. And if they win on Monday night, then the series is back on, especially if KD plays.

Speaker 1 But this is, my bigger point was more that, like, we, I remember watching that Pistons Lakers series and being like, well, it's the Pistons.

Speaker 1 Like, they don't, they don't have Kobe, they don't have Shaq. The Lakers will turn it on and win this series.
Right. And you sit there on Friday night.

Speaker 1 I was like, well, like, the first half, the Warriors were awesome. And you're like, yeah, this is the Warriors.
They're back. This is this series is over.
And that's how dynasties end.

Speaker 1 You just sit there being like, wait, where are the guys that we saw all these years? And you're right. KD obviously changes everything.

Speaker 1 But I'm just like, at this point, the Raptors are so fucking good. They played so well that to, like, our dumb brains, our caveman brains on Monday night are like, the Warriors will kill him.

Speaker 1 I'm also, but if you look at history, you're like, the Raptors will probably win.

Speaker 1 I'm very excited to see how KD's injury plays out in the offseason because I'm definitely an Achilles Cav truther now at this point.

Speaker 1 Because I think that if...

Speaker 1 If the injury was as minimal as they made it seem at first, he would have at least tried to play by now. Yeah.
Well, and the fact that Klay Thompson played played through whatever he.

Speaker 1 I mean, Clay is like a fucking warrior. Like, he is a warrior, but he is a warrior.
Like, he gets. Remember when he was bleeding through his ear? Yeah, I do remember that.
He's like, whatever.

Speaker 1 We had some good blood, too, on the other side. Oh, yeah, friend Van Vleek.
Yeah, took one off the chin. Got smoked.
Or it's the cheekbone.

Speaker 1 We got part of my Jake PMT Stats Sports Business reporter with Breaking Moves. What is this?

Speaker 1 So that, yes, so that is, yes, that's Saturday. So

Speaker 1 Winhorse said Durant just isn't ready. His body isn't ready.
The trainers don't believe it. He doesn't believe it.
But then he practiced on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then after that, Jalen Rose reported the practice. I saw Jalen Rose's report on Saturday, so maybe you're right.
But

Speaker 1 I think he practiced and everything went well.

Speaker 1 Like, I think he's going to play on Monday night, and I want him to play and somehow bring the Warriors back just to watch everyone, like, everyone's collective brain will just melt on the internet.

Speaker 1 And that's what we wanted before the entire series. I'm for chaos.
All right, that breaking moves is brought to you by chocolate milk. It was a very colloquial job last week, Hank.

Speaker 1 We're very proud of you you for that. So we're going to have to colloquial things up a bit.

Speaker 1 You know, chocolate milk is the ideal recovery drink, so instead, tell us a story about how great chocolate milk tastes. And your words that you have to use are scrumptious

Speaker 1 and amorphous.

Speaker 1 Amorphous? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Whew.

Speaker 1 Okay, well. Maybe my favorite Samuel Jackson character.

Speaker 1 That's a good idea. Or you could be something like, you know, I was a dog and then I amorphosed into a human being.

Speaker 1 And afterwards, after doing such a hard job doing that, I had a scrumptious chocolate milk. Ooh, I like that.
Like anamorphs. You did it.
Embrace the bait.

Speaker 1 Although, the better cover for books as a young adult, anamorphs or goosebumps. I like goosebumps.
I love goosebumps. You could touch them, and they felt kind of cool.

Speaker 1 Wait, it was like ASMR for your fingers. Did you drink the chocolate milk as a dog still, or no? You became a human, right? Yeah, no, I animorphed.
If you had dog blood, that'd be bad.

Speaker 1 Don't feed your dog chocolate milk. Why not? Feed everyone else chocolate milk.
Because bad dogs can't have chocolate. I didn't know that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You knew that. I I don't have a dog, so how would I know that? Okay.
Hank's more of a cat. It's rule one of the world.

Speaker 1 I mean, okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 But yeah. It is rule one of the world.
It is like literally rule one of the world. Don't give that dog chocolate.
I don't know. Yeah.
Chocolate grapes. Or grapes.
Yeah. Or raw onions.
Yeah. Or garlic.

Speaker 1 Yes. Or avocado.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or peanut butter on your ball. Millennial dogs are so pissed off.
Yeah. All right, so we cleared it up.
So Jalen Rose's report was Friday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so learn more about that at builtwithchocolatemilk.com and clear up the colloquialism, Hank's.

Speaker 1 So the PMT Sports Biz showed us that the report was that Kevin Durant left practice or he left the facility after practice, so practiced without a noticeable limp. So it looks like he's going to play.

Speaker 1 Jalen Rose's report was Friday night when he was saying that there's no way he's coming back this year. It was funny because everyone started piling on.
It was like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 Everyone's mad about Kevin Durant. And now a little bit of public peer pressure has a former Triple B ready to play.
Ready to put the whole team on his baby back. Yeah, and

Speaker 1 you know, there would be something very cool about Toronto winning in Toronto with the whole Jurassic Park thing that they have going in Spain. They can do it in game seven.
We need more sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. You know what this time of year is like?

Speaker 1 You ever see a movie? Probably this happens in Die Hard or something, but where some guy is hanging on a ledge with both his hands. Yes.
And then his fingers start to slip.

Speaker 1 And then one hand comes off and he reaches back up and grabs it. Cliphanger.
Yeah. And that's what this time of year is like for me when I've got my two hands of hockey and basketball.

Speaker 1 And tonight, one hand was starting to slip because it was like, oh, shit, this could be the end. The cup's in the building.
Then I reached up and I grabbed with that hand.

Speaker 1 Same thing's going to happen tomorrow night with the other hand. Yes.
And then I'm just going to be free falling into the middle. This is going to be, yeah, Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 1 I actually have that as my who's back, but I have a list I made for the weekend.

Speaker 1 We're going to do who's back. Hank, why don't you start? Before we do that, if you want to watch Samuel Jackson, pardon my take, barstoolgold.com/slash PMT.
His 151st movie.

Speaker 1 151st movie, barstoolgold.com slash PMT. Hank, why don't you start who's back?

Speaker 1 Sure, big cat. My Who's Back of the Week is actually something to do with you.
Oh, thanks. Bad visual for you.
Oh, yeah. Bad visual cat.
Yeah. Okay.
Great.

Speaker 1 There was a picture tonight during one of the electric chairs. You were on the side.
I told people to delete it. Wait, let me look at this.
Yeah. Where can I find it?

Speaker 1 You can find it where I quote tweeted it and said, please delete it. Okay.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. Let me take a look.
But

Speaker 1 that visual prompted you to tweet out that you're in home run derby shape. I am.
the picture.

Speaker 1 It's not great. I'm in home run derby shape.
And then Christian Yellich responded to it and said he hopes so. Oh, I didn't see that one.

Speaker 1 It's been a tough night. I didn't see the Christian Yellich response.
Yeah, he just responded. I mean, Hank, where would you say you are like the

Speaker 1 You're like the like dick's picks for Grateful Dead. You're the historian of bad pictures of me.
So where would you say this ranks? I mean, I don't want to, I'm not even joking.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be too mean, but like this one's pretty bad. It's bad.
It came out of nowhere. It was also like the seat was too low.

Speaker 1 Usually like I can tell like in my back of my head, I'm like, oh, big ass been put on a little weight. And then the visual comes out.
It's like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I haven't thought that recently in the fact that that picture exists.

Speaker 1 It was bad.

Speaker 1 I'm like a vaguely Soviet bus driver from like 1993 reaching for his bottle of Smirnov that he keeps next to it. It's bad.
But guess what? I've had it many times and they roll off my fat back.

Speaker 1 And what are you going to do? You look like

Speaker 1 a Russian guy that used to be a wrestler 40 years ago. That works.
So I'm athletic. That works.
Yeah. I mean, listen, there's a long history of bad pictures that I've taken.
It's not great.

Speaker 1 Put it up there. I'll say Big Cat does not look like that in person.
Your tits are much more supple in person. I can hate it.

Speaker 1 Listen, when bad pictures get taken, I love it because it's like a reset the clock. That was a bad picture.

Speaker 1 It's also nice when a bad picture gets taken because then when somebody sees you in public, you're like, oh, you don't look as slovenly as I thought from the internet. Correct.
Correct.

Speaker 1 Miley was back the week is Lacrosse. Yeah, I did.
I watched it this weekend. It was actually pretty entertaining.
I did too.

Speaker 1 Paul had me convinced. The Atlas lost again.
The Redwoods lost, I think. What about the Whipsnakes? We did the Whipsnakes.

Speaker 1 They might have won. I don't know.
I got fucking a heartburn right now. That has nothing to do with the fat picture.
All right, I'm going to do my who's back because it segues to from lacrosse.

Speaker 1 So we were just talking about it, but

Speaker 1 the amount of sports that are on that are sports I don't care about is an insane amount right now.

Speaker 1 And I just, this, my who's back is I need football back because I wrote down everything that I watched this weekend. I watched at least some part of all of these things.

Speaker 1 So baseball, Women's World Cup, hockey, basketball, those are, you know, normal. Yeah.
Okay. Then it starts to kind of fall off a cliff.
I watched some WNBA. I watched some lacrosse.

Speaker 1 I watched some tennis. I watched some beach volleyball because it was on after lacrosse.
I watched college baseball. I watched motorcycle racing.
Did you watch drag racing? That was on too.

Speaker 1 Drag racing is is always on. I watched some bowling.
I watched the UEFA friendly. I watched the under-20 soccer match that we lost, the U.S.
sucks. And then I watched a Lance Armstrong interview.

Speaker 1 So I watched a little cycling. We also had U.S.
men's national team friendly.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. So we got it all kicked into the under-20 World Cup.
The future's not here. Not here for the men.
Yeah, so I watched a lot of fucking sports that I don't give a fuck about.

Speaker 1 And I just sat there being like, man, I wish that football was back.

Speaker 1 Well, because you know what happens when you get into this off-season area, you start to watch things on channels that you normally don't go to. Correct.
Like the Women's World Cup.

Speaker 1 So that was on FS1, I believe. Yep.
And then you take the nap, the customary second-half nap in a sport that you normally don't watch.

Speaker 1 And when you wake up, there's an even more obscure sport that is taking its place

Speaker 1 after that sport is over. Beach volleyball.
Lance Armstrong. And then you have to find out how to bet on all these sports.
Right.

Speaker 1 Lance Armstrong doing an interview where he couldn't fully commit to saying that kids shouldn't do steroids. Yeah, there was a UFC fight, too.
Did you watch watch that? Yeah, I watched the UFC fight.

Speaker 1 When the guy's eye got turned into a fleshlight, yeah, a little snot rocket. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's just, I just basically cruised around the channels.
I have cable, no big deal. And I couldn't find a good movie to watch.
So then I just hopped around all this.

Speaker 1 You just do it out of instinct, the sports channels. You go, you start at the bottom sports channel, and you cruise through all of them, and then you stop off at a couple.
And I watched fucking...

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 I was watching motorcycle racing and Vengeance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was watching motorcycle racing. Me and Skip Bayless were the only people that watched that game.
It's sad, man.

Speaker 1 They do need to figure out a way. Like, I would have kept on watching motorcycle racing if they just, if your TV could have, like, a thing that pops up, like, hey, do you want to bet on this?

Speaker 1 Boom, you can bet on it right now. I would have bet on the volleyball.
You know what we need to do?

Speaker 1 We need to start watching because you can find old NFL games on YouTube from like 2006, 2007, some of the HD ones. So we should just have like Hank or Bubba or maybe

Speaker 1 this idea before. Yeah, no.
At this exact moment. No, I thought about this.
This was Super Bowl week because I was having Sunday scaries for the NFL season being over, but we should actually do it.

Speaker 1 We'll have Jake go through, just pick one game at random, like Chiefs, Browns, week 12, 2007. Oh.
And then, without us knowing about the teams at all, we'll bet on them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll bet against each other, and then we'll watch the game as if we're watching it for the first time.

Speaker 1 I actually, now that you're saying that, I watched an outback bowl, Penn State versus LSU, with Joe Paw versus Les Miles.

Speaker 1 So I don't know what year it was from, and fucking LSU was like raining like hell, and LSU had an awesome goal line stand in the second quarter. So I don't know how it ended.
That's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 See, that's what I'm saying. If there's a way to bet on all that old shit that we don't remember, it's new to us.
Yeah, exactly. Oh, and a Georgia spring game, which I think was a replay.

Speaker 1 I assume they've played their spring game a couple months ago. It was a bad, it was a long weekend of just watching anything that was on TV.

Speaker 1 Once you get into a repeat of a spring scrimmage, you're in a bad place. Yeah.
Well, they did have a nice fucking little flea flicker, so that was cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, does your team, or does your TV have the screen time feature on it that a phone has? No, but it's not a second one.

Speaker 1 No, what happens is the thing pops up and says, You haven't changed a channel in a really long time. Yeah.
What are you doing?

Speaker 1 I want, well, I wanted to watch the rest of this Georgia spring game, dude. Yeah, I want to get rid of that feature on my TV because it's like, fuck yeah, I'm partying.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't ask me if I want to turn the channel on. Sorry, I haven't changed the channel for eight hours.

Speaker 1 All right. What do you got, PFT? I've got a couple hooms backs of the week.
The first one, Big Little Lies is back. Yeah, what is that show? So Big Little Lies is a show.

Speaker 1 It's entourage for rich women who are so rich that they sound British when they talk. Cool.
That's the best way I can describe it. So it's like Nicole Kidman.

Speaker 1 What station is it? Reese Withersman? What station? Yeah. It's on station HBO.
Okay. Yeah.
Cool.

Speaker 1 It's pretty good, and it's like I've only watched two episodes, but I did watch the recap of the first two seasons twice. So it's like my little guilty pleasure that I've just started to adapt.

Speaker 1 Again, these are things that I go through in the offseason when there's nothing else to get me through Sundays. So I decided that I was going to get into big little lies.
Okay. So that's number one.

Speaker 1 Number two is Joe Flacco. Yeah.
Joe Flacco's back. So John Elway.

Speaker 1 John Elway said, it looks to me like he's back in Super Bowl MVP form.

Speaker 1 So that means he's 6'5 ⁇ ,

Speaker 1 235 pounds. And he threw the ball across his body 80 yards.
So Joe Flacco's practices are becoming like Patrick Mahomes' updates for people out there.

Speaker 1 Every week it's like Joe Flacco threw another ball 80 yards in the thin air.

Speaker 1 Does John Elway realize that Joe Flacco, like, statistically in the last five years, is the worst starting quarterback you could have? Absolutely not. Was that a serious question about John Elway?

Speaker 1 Definitely not. Definitely not.

Speaker 1 I want, wait, who do they draft?

Speaker 1 Oh, they draft Drew Locke. Yeah, Drew Locke.
Double finger guns. Yeah, yeah.
I was going to say Maddie Mock, real throwback. All right, is that it? I've got one more.
Go for it.

Speaker 1 So, my last hooms back of the week is lace shorts. Oh, yes.
So lace shorts are back in a big big way. This is gross.

Speaker 1 Just shorts in general.

Speaker 1 Yeah, shorts are back big time, but now lace shorts are even backer.

Speaker 1 Actually, they're backless because they're just totally see-through on the back end, and they have like a little cover-up in the front.

Speaker 1 Finally, lingerie for guys that want to play some basketball at the same time. It's pretty gross.
And PFT, tune in to a podcast coming. It basically goes like this.
PFT says, yo, look at this.

Speaker 1 And it's some like disgusting piece of clothing. And then he goes, can I get the credit card real quick? Yep.
And and that's how it gets made. That's how it works.
That's how it gets made. Listen,

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, it's going to be a game changer. It's like the new, it's the new

Speaker 1 everyone. Yeah, for everyone.
For mostly the people who want to, who see you. But here's why, man, because I don't have a problem with people being disgusted by my lingerie that I'm wearing.

Speaker 1 My dude lingerie. We need to come up with a name for that.
Mingerie.

Speaker 1 Because if somebody's disgusted seeing me wear it, that's not the kind of person I would want to hang out with, anyways. I guess that's a good litmus test.

Speaker 1 You're just walking around like, do you want to see me naked? Yeah. Oh, you don't want to see me in my lace shorts? Okay, get out of here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you're that shallow of a person that you don't want to see my gross body right in your face,

Speaker 1 then I guess I don't want my gross body to be seen by your stupid face. Right, why don't you get to know PFT's brain? Why don't you get to know his personality?

Speaker 1 My eyes are not all about the fact that he's wearing the most ridiculous shorts ever for attention. That's right.
My eyes are up here.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview, Samuel L. Jackson.
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Speaker 1 and use those swipes. Okay, here he is, Samuel L.
Jackson.

Speaker 1 Okay, three, two, one. I'm looking at the bar right now.
Okay, that voice you hear right now, it is the legend, Samuel L. Jackson.
We're here. He's got his new movie out, Shaft, June 14th.

Speaker 1 Go watch it. I want to start with Shaft and the coolest characters you've ever played.
Is he up there, like top three coolest, baddest motherfuckers you've ever played? I would say so. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's an honor to be able to portray, you know, a figure that's so iconic, that meant so much. I guess when I was younger, you know,

Speaker 1 seeing Richard Roundtree as Shaft was something that you aspired to. You're saying, I want to be that cool.
I want to have that many chicks. I want to have that many leather coats.
Right.

Speaker 1 So, if it's not Shaft, who are like the top three coolest characters that you played?

Speaker 1 Jules, Nick, Fury, Shaf. What about Morpheus? You're great as Morpheus.
I've seen Morpheus. I loved you as Morpheus.
That was a viral crip, you had a chapter. I mean, how often does that happen?

Speaker 1 It depends on whether people are trying to be funny or whether they're trying to piss me off. I think it's a little bit of a movie so far.
It's a little bit of a very land there.

Speaker 1 Actually, Big Cat brings up a good point.

Speaker 1 So, cool and bad. Is there a difference between being cool and bad? cool and badass yeah um yeah

Speaker 1 yeah very much so so shafts a bad motherfucker right uh shaft is a bad motherfucker

Speaker 1 uh nick fury's a bad motherfucker yeah um

Speaker 1 yeah it's very different jules is

Speaker 1 Jules is cool.

Speaker 1 You know, he has bad motherfucker on his wallet, but he's essentially very cool.

Speaker 1 He's lethal and dangerous as all hell.

Speaker 1 You know, kind of like Ordell

Speaker 1 is a bad motherfucker. He's not cool because he's kind of corny and he dresses kind of whack and his hair ain't all the way there.
You're describing me right now? You know, but he will fuck you up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A nice guy to hang out with, but don't cross him. Gotcha.
So I'm curious, you always... I love how you talk about characters you played as like almost friends and like they're still alive.

Speaker 1 Because I was, you know, you've been in 150-plus movies, you played every single character, but you talk about them like they're they like exist forever.

Speaker 1 And I don't, I feel like I've never seen an actor kind of do that.

Speaker 1 Where it's like, no, I was reading about your favorite characters or your favorite characters you played, and you were like talking like Django and Chain.

Speaker 1 You're like, Yeah, yes, Steph is my dude, he's my dude, Steven is my dude. Like, that's my dude.

Speaker 1 It's like, I've never heard an actor talk like that about a character that he played, and you played so many.

Speaker 1 You give you stuff,

Speaker 1 It's interesting or really freeing to have a guy like Steven or to play a guy like Steven because he's unapologetically evil.

Speaker 1 You know, he is who he is, and he lives in that space, and he inhabits it like it's real, it's genuine for him. Right.
You know, Jules is who he is. Ordell lives in his space.
Right.

Speaker 1 He creates it, he inhabits that environment, and he relishes where he is in that space.

Speaker 1 Most characters, you know, that I have, I don't have a lot of characters that are insecure or that don't feel good about being who they are.

Speaker 1 Do you ever dream in your characters? Do you ever dreams as one of your characters? I don't believe so.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm not saying that's not true because, I mean, I've done some stuff in my dreams.

Speaker 1 Maybe when I'm asleep at work or in the trailer sometimes, I'm dreaming as that character because because I've done things and I wake up and I have a revelation about something I want to do.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, yeah. Somebody's working overtime.
Yeah, like you're on Jurassic Park. Did you dream about dinosaurs?

Speaker 1 Actually, I was dreaming more about cigarettes because they kept, I was actually a smoker then, and

Speaker 1 Stephen made me smoke these herbal things that were horrible. And he was the chain smoker.

Speaker 1 And I said, well, I'd rather chain smoke real cigarettes. He's like, no, I don't want to kick you.

Speaker 1 So, what's in the herbal cigarettes? I don't know. It's nasty.
They're like cloves?

Speaker 1 I like clove cigarettes. I used to smoke those sometimes.

Speaker 1 But no, these weren't cloves. It was some kind of nasty herbal something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was the pitch like for Snakes on a Plane?

Speaker 1 How does that happen? Nobody pitched me. Actually, I read,

Speaker 1 there's a director, Ronnie Yu. I had just done a film with him called Formula 51

Speaker 1 in Scotland. and in Liverpool.

Speaker 1 And I read where he was doing a movie called Snakes on the Plane. So I called him and said, Ronnie, you doing a movie called Snakes on a Plane? And he's like, yeah.
I was like, what is it?

Speaker 1 He said, a plane full of poisonous snakes. I was like, seriously? And he's like, yeah.
I was like, well, can I be in it? And he's like, you want to be in it? I'm like, yeah. He's like, great.

Speaker 1 So he called Newland. Newland was like, oh, yeah, hell yeah.
And then next thing I know, Ronnie got fired. And they were like, well, you know, Ronnie's not doing the movie now.

Speaker 1 We hoped you were going to stay. I'm like,

Speaker 1 hell yeah. I'm doing the movie.
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
I'm soon gonna do it. Snakes on a plane.
So you took the role in the same exact manner that everyone went and watched the movie.

Speaker 1 Because I remember I was like, what's this movie? Snakes on a plane? Yeah. I'm fucking in.
Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 1 I want to watch it. Come on.
I want to see it.

Speaker 1 It's pretty straightforward. Totally the kind of movie I would have gone to see when I was a kid.
It's like plane full of snakes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm in there. Yeah, I'm in.
I had the theory that you did that movie because you wanted people to stop quoting all your pulp fiction lines. So you're like, I'll just do an even more quotable,

Speaker 1 you know, Snakes on a Plane movie. No, I did it because of those snakes on the plane.

Speaker 1 And even when I got there, you know,

Speaker 1 the first day I arrived, I got there and they were like passing out, you know, new pages. And they gave me the script.

Speaker 1 Said Pacific Flight 121. I'm like, what the fuck is this? And they're like, well, you know, we don't want to give it away.
I was like, you exactly want to do that.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm here. I'm not here to do Pacific Flight 121.
If that's the name of the movie, I quit. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Snakes on the plane. Now, how many of the snakes were real? How many? Yeah.
Were they they all real?

Speaker 1 No, they had some fake shit, but

Speaker 1 I guess when we got there, they had like a dry cleaner vat that had corn snakes in it. Okay.
And maybe it was like 150 of them. By the time we rapped, there were like 600.
They were in there fucking.

Speaker 1 They were doing it. They were fucking, yeah.
They were doing it.

Speaker 1 And then they had some regular like poisonous snakes and bigger snakes and some other things, but they had vats and vats of corn snakes that they just dumped on the plane every day.

Speaker 1 Do you ever think we're going to have snakes snakes on a plane two?

Speaker 1 No. At any point when you get on set, where you're like, you know what, this was an awesome idea because it's called snakes on a plane, and I'm all in on that.

Speaker 1 But now that I'm seeing all these snakes on this motherfucking plane, it's kind of creepy. No, you were cool with them? You were cool with the snakes.
I was very cool with the snakes. No fear at all.

Speaker 1 My agent didn't want me hanging around them. She was like, no, no snakes, match Sam.

Speaker 1 No, we got to have snakes. You got to have snakes.

Speaker 1 But the second unit was shooting with all the dangerous shit. It's like they had like a 15-foot albino Cobra that was like

Speaker 1 gangster. Fuck that.
And the whole thing would like hit the seat in front of it and just shake the seat like that. It's like, fuck, look at that.
They would show us pictures, like, look at this.

Speaker 1 Nah, keep him on second unit. Do you also bring him on? Do you go see every movie that you're in in theaters? I do.
Now, do you like to go to a crowded theater or do you like to go to a quiet place?

Speaker 1 I like to go to a theater and hopefully there's people in it. Yeah.
Yeah, I can't guarantee that there's going to be a crowded theater. Every movie you make is not a big movie.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I just go to the theater where people are paying their money to see how they respond to it.

Speaker 1 Has anybody ever turned around and been like, Holy shit, like you're on screen and I'm sitting next to you right now? Yeah, all the time. That must be surreal.
Yeah. That would be very weird for me.

Speaker 1 Why? Because I'm dumb, and so I can't believe that two people exist in two places at the same time. I'm like, I'm like a dog.

Speaker 1 If I'm looking at the screen, I'm like, that's that person. But wait, he's right here next to me.
Right. Yeah.
No, I don't know. I mean, it's whatever it is.

Speaker 1 I was just in

Speaker 1 Italy when Endgame came out.

Speaker 1 So I wanted to see it. So there was only one English-speaking screening of it

Speaker 1 that day.

Speaker 1 So we called the theater and we were like, oh yeah, sure, come. And I got there and there were people there.
And it's like the movie didn't start for like 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 And I was sitting in my seat eating popcorn. So literally, people were like lined up in the aisle because I allowed them to sit in the seat in front of me and take

Speaker 1 a picture.

Speaker 1 That's official. I wasn't going to be like that.
Yeah, we're going to move. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, you sit in the seat in front of me. So people literally lined up in the aisle and sat down with their cameras.
I was sitting behind and beat popcorn, not smiling, not, you know, just.

Speaker 1 So when you watch your own movie, because most people they don't like the sound of their own voice, they don't like to watch themselves on a movie screen.

Speaker 1 Do you watch it and you're like, damn, that's a badass motherfucker right there, like talking about yourself?

Speaker 1 I watch it and say, okay, that was the good take. Okay.
You know, I look at it.

Speaker 1 The first time I see it, I'm kind of watching it critically to see which tape did they use, which angle did they use for this particular shot.

Speaker 1 Because sometimes, you know, you shoot, you shoot, and you shoot, and you say to people, that shot's never even going to be in the movie. Right.
And most times, you know, I'm right and it's not.

Speaker 1 Right. And I'll go, I knew we wasted too much time with this shit because they used the first thing that we did.
Right. So have there been times when you're like, they completely edited it wrong?

Speaker 1 Not maybe not named names, but you're like this was this was not the character yeah i go this is stupid no i know it's never not the character but it's never the angle that works for that particular shot or that works for the story to move the story to the next place on a dynamic right right interesting where do you stand on sneaking food into movie theaters sneaking food like what like you know they charge eight dollars for a big bag of popcorn like what about bringing like a sandwich or baked beans yeah bake a Tupperware full of beans if that's what you want to eat fine I don't care yeah but you don't eat popcorn you eat baked beans in in the movie?

Speaker 1 Yeah, popcorn.

Speaker 1 Beans are good.

Speaker 1 I'm a popcorn, you know, white cherry, slushy guy. What about candy? You ever bring candy in the movies? Because that's expensive.
I very seldom eat candy in the movie. Yeah.
That's how they get you.

Speaker 1 I like candy, but I don't eat it in the movie. Okay.

Speaker 1 No sour patch kids?

Speaker 1 I kind of like sour patch kids. Yeah.
But you know, you reach that point where your mouth is hurting because you're eating that shit. You eat too many? Yes.

Speaker 1 That happens to me all the time.

Speaker 1 I'd rather have a payday and just, you know, be fine. That's right.
I was looking, I was doing some research at your numbers. It says online that you are the highest-grossing actor of all time.

Speaker 1 Is that true?

Speaker 1 Could be. $6.7 billion in box officers.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's an erroneous kind of number

Speaker 1 or a dubious honor because

Speaker 1 everybody who's in that movie whose name is on the cast list that was in that movie. can make that same claim.
Yeah. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 But they just weren't in all the same movies I was in. Right.
If you're in that movie, then they just say, Okay, you're in the movie, so you're part of the box office. You're the common.

Speaker 1 You don't have to be above the title, below the title, just that you're in the movie.

Speaker 1 So there's a lot of people that have done a whole bunch of movies as extras or as you know, secondary or tertiary characters that have a great box office, too, just because their names on the cast list.

Speaker 1 Right. So it's an interesting thing to say about somebody, but not necessarily true.

Speaker 1 Because I remember when it happened, I was doing Star Wars, and George said, You're going to pass Harrison when this movie comes out. And I was like, pass him at what?

Speaker 1 And he was like, you know, box office totals. I was like, really?

Speaker 1 There's a thing for that? And he's like, yeah. And when this movie comes out, you're going to pass him because you're only so-and-so dollars from him.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, well, I'm going to pass him before that. And he's like, how? So I got a little movie coming out called The Incredibles.
Just came out before this. Oh, boy.

Speaker 1 And he was like, oh, I was hoping you were going to cross it with me. I was like, it would have been nice, but this movie's opening.
So The Incredibles opened, and I kicked his ass.

Speaker 1 And then Star Wars happened, and I got by. Lapped him even more.

Speaker 1 Are you the best cursor alive? I have no idea. I think you might be.
I'm sure there's. Like, maybe a football coach is up there, but like you, when you curse, it's an art form.
Like,

Speaker 1 you feel it. Even when you've done it very organically in this interview,

Speaker 1 I don't know what it is, but it's something about it. Like, a Samuel L.
Jackson curse just hits different.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not.

Speaker 1 I mean, I do curse at people in anger from time to time, but most of the times, it's, you know it's an interesting descriptive or it's a way to make something a little more colorful or whatever and it sounds and feels better when it comes out yeah you know that way what's your favorite curse word my favorite curse word is probably motherfucker yeah yeah because i use it for a lot of different

Speaker 1 yeah it should hit different what different ways are you talking about like uh you can use you can motherfuck somebody if you can say that or you you can describe a person as you know the motherfucker i'm talking about or or that motherfucker you know you know immediately okay one was a friendly guy and one was a not-so-friendly guy.

Speaker 1 Or you're saying, oh man, that shit's a motherfucker. You know, oh, it's some really great shit.
Or you can say, oh, that shit's a motherfucker. And it means it's horrible or whatever.

Speaker 1 Or, you know, or man, that car is a motherfucker.

Speaker 1 And, you know, it's like, oh, great car. Or, you know, that motherfucking car is like, the car is raggedy as fuck.
You know, you know that. So it's easy to use it as a descriptive or whatever.

Speaker 1 Or you talk about your girls like, oh man, that motherfucker's everything.

Speaker 1 He really loves it.

Speaker 1 So it's that.

Speaker 1 It's that word that you can use

Speaker 1 in every kind of way.

Speaker 1 By the way, we can't swear on this podcast. Oh, no problem.
We'll bleep those. Oh, well, that's a motherfucking shame.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. We actually were hoping because what happens with a lot of our guests, like halfway through the interview, will drop a swear and they're like, can you swear on this?

Speaker 1 And be like, fuck yeah, you can. And we'll just let them all fly.
We were hoping that would happen here. Remember when I I joined Twitter? You swore right out of the bet, out of the gate.

Speaker 1 It's like when I joined Twitter. I want to talk about your Twitter.
Oh, really? It's wild.

Speaker 1 When I joined Twitter on, what was I on?

Speaker 1 Oh, Fallon. Yeah.
In New York, my first tweet was, can you say fuck on this motherfucker?

Speaker 1 That's perfect. Your Twitter's wild.
One, you don't know how to use a hashtag. My Twitter? Why? What are you supposed to do with a hashtag?

Speaker 1 You don't separate it. You have to get between us.
Yeah, you have a gap between them. Oh, you don't have gaps.
You do have gaps. Are you not supposed to gap between them?

Speaker 1 No, you're supposed to.

Speaker 1 What Samuel Hall does is he puts all of the hashtags together and doesn't put any gaps so that you can. I don't put a space between the hashtags.

Speaker 1 So what difference does it make? So you can't click on the hashtag. You just have unclickable hashtags.
So I'm just fucking with the person that wants to click on my hashtag. Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1 Why do you want to click on my hashtag? Because we want to see what everyone else is talking about.

Speaker 1 You started the conversation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you put a space between them. Yeah, let's see.
See, I've been asking that. I asked my daughter that.
No, you got to. It's got to look blue.
It will look blue when you space it.

Speaker 1 It shows blue when you put it in the corner. Because that's what you came today.
Did I put a space between it today? No, you never did.

Speaker 1 You never do. I didn't put a space between it today.
You never, ever do. Okay, fine.
It's hilarious. It's its own way.
So my other question about your Twitter. Like, when you tweet sports,

Speaker 1 please tell me that you are like screaming the way that you scream on Twitter because that's how everyone reads it.

Speaker 1 Like, you have a certain, you have such a unique style about your Twitter and, you know, the way you speak and the swearing and everything.

Speaker 1 When you tweet about something, everyone automatically reads it in your voice. I'm hoping you're saying it out loud.
I didn't tweet any football last year. Yeah, I know.
Why?

Speaker 1 I loved your tweeting last year. The whole NFL thing.
I mean, I gotta, you know, I mean, I have to take part of the, you know, fuck them. Okay.
They're gonna blackball, you know, Kaepernick.

Speaker 1 Kaepernick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, and see, he doesn't do hashtags. And hire other assholes that do really fuck the shit.
No NFL last year.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't do the NFL at all last year. Did you watch college? I would love college football.
Yeah, so I wrote down a couple of your funnier tweets.

Speaker 1 How you feed a hungry man,

Speaker 1 go ahead, chub. and then uh what the hell is that when you type that

Speaker 1 most muga poga pooga of a run it's it's most motherfucker of a run but that's not how you type it that is

Speaker 1 most

Speaker 1 o u

Speaker 1 g h p o u mu m o u g

Speaker 1 mu p

Speaker 1 h o u g is

Speaker 1 most motherfucker most mugg of a run most motherfucker all right here's one of your hashtags

Speaker 1 like anything want it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so are you saying that out loud when you're tweeting it? Because I hope so. That's how I envisioned it.
Oh, I just said it, man. Most motherfucker of a run.
Yeah, or you said, yeah,

Speaker 1 man's got to be somewhere.

Speaker 1 Get out the fucking way. And, like, I'm just envisioning you watching Georgia vs.
Auburn just going crazy on your couch. Yes.
Thank God. Okay.
All right, here's your hashtag. That's all I wanted.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because you would have ruined the illusion if you were sitting there silently

Speaker 1 tweeting about it. Okay.
I'm having a great time. Good, good.
Here's your hashtag game. Damn, I missed this dude.
Hashtag hitman's wife bodyguard Nick Knack Noel.

Speaker 1 It's on Beauty Patrol, Afro Samurai, Afro.

Speaker 1 I take it back. At Tresfit, Italy.
Your hashtag game is perfect. I do like your assignment.
It's so unique. It's perfect.
Everything just running together makes no sense.

Speaker 1 And your Instagram game, by the way, unbelievable, because it's half of the pictures are just you taking a picture of your shirt with like the bottom of your chin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's perfect. And having time at you getting a barber signature.

Speaker 1 I used to be like one eye in the corner

Speaker 1 shooting the thing that's behind me because I want people to see what I'm seeing. Right.
And know that I'm really there. Right.

Speaker 1 Hank is wrong.

Speaker 1 I talk loud enough for you to hear this shit.

Speaker 1 Lawrence Taylor almost killed him. Yeah.
He did.

Speaker 1 Lawrence Taylor was like this.

Speaker 1 And Hank was like, Mr. LT, can you put the...
And he has looked at the one. I talked loud enough for you to hear me.

Speaker 1 But I usually put one eye in the corner and then the thing that I'm talking about in the background. It's good.
You're crushing social media. I have fun with it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm too old to be fucking with that shit. Are you a Raptors fan? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, what's going on with the finals? Because we're going to run this while the finals are still going on. Do you think this is actually going to happen? I don't know.
It's possible.

Speaker 1 I'm a Raptors fan because I was shooting Long Kiss Goodnight the first year the Raptors started in Toronto.

Speaker 1 So me and my assistant at the time used to get tickets, and Isaiah was my friend. So he always gave me tickets to every game.

Speaker 1 So I was there on the floor when, you know, they started with Oliver Miller and all those guys like

Speaker 1 okay so I've been there which led to me having a raptor bag and Jackie Brown when the dude said do you have the money yeah right here my raptor bag and I had the raptor you know bag full of money so yeah I I've been a raptor fan since they started and you kind of named the raptors too I mean they were named after Jurassic Park I don't think they would have gotten that name if it wasn't for the movie that's possible you're like the godfather of the team so you are you a kawaii fan because i also heard that you were a little bit more

Speaker 1 i was you know because i was a huge Spurs fan because I like Pop, you know, and all that. You know, it's the whole bunch of things that go together.

Speaker 1 And Tim Duncan and, you know, Tony and all the older guys, they were like my guys because it was like a generational thing. And I've been watching them for a while.
And Pop's a great coach.

Speaker 1 Really nice dude. And, you know, I've had some interesting interactions with him.
So, yeah, I've liked the team. And, you know, I've...

Speaker 1 I felt really bad Kawaii missed that one free throw that allowed Miami to get that one championship that they shouldn't have. Right.
Right. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's true.
So you talk generational.

Speaker 1 You ready for this? This is a great segue. Generational, shaft, three generations of shafts in the new movie.
Right.

Speaker 1 Do you, I know, I read about like how when you first did the shaft franchise in 2000, you're like, how can I, how can I beat Roundtree or

Speaker 1 not beat him, but like, how can I take a role that was so iconic and make my imprint on it? Now you're 19 years later, you got three generations.

Speaker 1 Do you think Shaft's just going to keep living on past you?

Speaker 1 I think there's a way that the

Speaker 1 mythology of that particular character works in this community so well and people understand him that if they accept the guy that's playing him and he comes in with the right dynamic, you know, it's like when I said to John when he wanted to do it in 2000,

Speaker 1 John Singleton, rest in peace, that

Speaker 1 we can't do this movie unless Richard is in it. So that people will understand Richard is still Richard.

Speaker 1 He's still the

Speaker 1 casting the torch.

Speaker 1 He's still the sex machine for all the chicks. I got to be something different.
Right. And it works.

Speaker 1 And then I can get to allowing Jesse to come into that family and use the gene pool that is his to create something that's his own that will define the character in this generation. It's cool.

Speaker 1 And it's perfect. So hopefully that'll happen.
When like the three of you all come in dress the same, it's kind of like, oh, this is cool. This is iconic.
Sort of works. Yeah, right, exactly.

Speaker 1 I wanted to thank you while I have you here because in 2000, I went to go see Shaft in movie theaters. Yeah.
And I touched a boob in the movie. All right, all right.
Yeah, that's more than I did.

Speaker 1 I didn't touch any in the movie. Yeah, it was nice.
You never did a lot. Did you touch a boob in the movie? No, I kept saying to him.
His hands are full of popcorn.

Speaker 1 When is my fucking moment to beat a sex machine toss the boobs? Yeah, yeah. In the movie, yeah, yeah.
All right, last question because we know you got to go. You got a long day.

Speaker 1 Hopefully, you've had fun here. CP question, promo code take, put it in.

Speaker 1 How much fun is doing those commercials with Charles Barkley and Spike Lee? Oh, do you guys actually have fun? Because it looks a lot of fun. Awesome amount of fun doing the three amigos.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 Chuck has no problem making fun of himself, which is the really wonderful thing.

Speaker 1 And they write some good stuff for us to do that we can fix on the fly and kind of make right, you know, because we enjoyed having Larry Burry with us this year. Yes.

Speaker 1 You know, all the extra stuff that goes along with that.

Speaker 1 I mean, those are great commercials. It's hard to make a commercial that everyone's like.
Jim Nancy is a great amount of fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everybody will look at him and go, oh, he probably sticking away. Oh, he's cool.
This dude is hilarious. Right.
And a great guy. Yeah.
I'm upset you didn't wear a Kangle. That's my only last.

Speaker 1 Maybe next time.

Speaker 1 You make it cool.

Speaker 1 It's not a cool hat. You know it's not a cool hat.
I have no idea. Okay.
L.O. Cool J made him cool back in the day before I started wearing it.
You kept it going. All right.
All right.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
Samuel Jackson. See, Shaft, June 14th.
Get some motherfucker of a movie.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance you ask?

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Okay, let's get to some segments.

Speaker 1 First up, we have a stay-classy Max Muncie, because he got into it with Madison Baumgartner after a home run. Giants, Dodgers.

Speaker 1 Max Muncie said that Madison Baumgartner yelled at him and said, don't look at the, what he said? He said, like, don't watch the ball. And Muncie replied,

Speaker 1 if you don't want me to watch the ball, you can go get it out of the ocean. Which, by the way.
Pretty solid clapback. There's no way he said that.
Get it out of the ocean. No, I said it to a reporter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said to he's he thought about it for a while. Yeah.
He probably was like, go fuck yourself. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck, no, fuck you, back and forth.

Speaker 1 And then after he's like, hey, you know, four hours after the game ended, he's like, hey, Max, what'd you say to Madison? He's like, get this. Told him to to get out of the ocean.

Speaker 1 It's like when you get into a fight with somebody at a bar and you go home and you tell all your friends about it. Oh, dude, it was sick.
I had the perfect zinger for him. Bro, and I love it.

Speaker 1 I love how Mad Bum gets so pissed off about this because this is he's good for like three or four of these a year. Oh, yeah.
Where he just gets mad that somebody hit one off the moon.

Speaker 1 If you actually hit a ball off the moon against Madison Bumgartner, he'd get pissed off at you and be like, Why are you staring at the night sky, bro?

Speaker 1 He needs Madison Bumgartner, is one of the last guys that we need in this league because he is an anti-bat flipper, anti-like pimp your home run.

Speaker 1 And if you don't have these people, then everything just falls apart. I mean, we talk about it all the time, like Goose Gossage is actually very important.

Speaker 1 He's like a beaver for the ecosystem. If you don't have someone yelling about bat flips and pimping home runs, then we're all on Twitter being like, bat flips are awesome.
Fuck the old guys.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, you're talking about no one now. We all agree.
So thank God for Madison Baumgartner. No, I like it too.
It spices up the game a little bit.

Speaker 1 And I've never really understood the the term pimping a home run. Oh, yeah.
I don't. It's a pimp walk.
I don't get it. Yeah.
You pimp walk it? Is that what it is? Yeah, you pimp walk it.

Speaker 1 I always thought that there was like you. You pimp it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're trying to get your home run to fuck somebody. Right.
You just pimp it out to everyone. You get paid because your home run ball fucked someone and then you get a cut of that ball's money.

Speaker 1 Correct. So it sounds like you do get it.
And then because you smacked the ball,

Speaker 1 and it got wet. Yeah, okay.
Got it.

Speaker 1 In this case. Ah, Jay.

Speaker 1 Madison Bumgardner get wet. I fucking, I do love him because he really is like an old school.

Speaker 1 You just need a few of these guys. If you don't have a few of these guys, everything falls apart.
And you know who's got his back. I'll give you one guess, but you probably.
Danny Connell.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, yeah, Danny definitely does. Doug Gottlieb has his back.
Doug Gottlieb definitely has his back, too. But in terms of a player that's been around the game recently, Aubrey Huff.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Aubrey Huff said that he is the most country-strong guy that he's ever seen. And he wishes that Max Muncie would charge him.
Yeah. I kind of wish he would, too.

Speaker 1 I've seen the last time time Baumgartner got in a fight, it was against like Puig, and he did the thing where he like walked away from him. Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with Nassin Baumgartner.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't fuck with Puig, though. Yeah, that would be a good fight to watch.
That would be a good real fight to watch. Speaking of good real fights to watch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you want to do the tail of the tape? Yeah. So Justin Bieber has challenged Tom Cruise to a fight in the Octagon, maybe.
Maybe a boxing ring. Who knows? Maybe rough and rowdy.

Speaker 1 We have our PMT intern, Sports Biz. You can follow him PMT Sports Biz.
Biz. He broke down the tail of the tape.
By the way, how did this start?

Speaker 1 Justin Bieber just tweeted it out.

Speaker 1 He just doesn't like him. Now we don't know.
It's like going to be fake. It could be Stay Woke.
Or it could be like this league with recording artists and movie stars and celebrities.

Speaker 1 Thing is, Bieber doesn't like tweets, so why would he tweet? Yeah, why would he tweet? Okay, so the tail of the tape brought to us by PMT Sports Biz.

Speaker 1 Justin Bieber, 25 years old, Tom Cruise, 56 years old. Height, Justin Bieber, 5'9, Tom Cruise, 5'7, which no chance that's right.
No, Tom Cruise is like 5'5. Right.

Speaker 1 Crazy for a guy to lie about his height. No, yeah.
All the time. Absolutely not.
But

Speaker 1 I want to jump into that. I'm gonna send Jake Marsh real quick on this because this is his listed height on the internet.
Right, but he's lying about that. He's definitely lying.

Speaker 1 Which people lying about their height on the internet is like a fucking psycho move. No, it's a big, big fucking deal.
Like, as somebody that doesn't lie about his height,

Speaker 1 it makes me look bad by association. Correct.
Yeah. So you're 5'8 ⁇ .
I also don't like to see.

Speaker 1 I told Big Cat this last week, but I guess I'll say it publicly because he'll just hold it over my head if I don't. I haven't measured myself in the last six years

Speaker 1 because I'm afraid I'll come in at 5'8. Because you are 5'8.
But I think I'm 5'9. Right.
Because I know other people who are 5'9 or who tell me they're 5'9, and I'm the same height as them.

Speaker 1 You're 5'8.

Speaker 1 We don't know. Okay, so

Speaker 1 embrace the bait. Estimated research.
Actually, I might be six feet tall. You could be.
I don't know. Estimated reach: 68 inches for Justin Bieber, 65 for Tom Cruise.

Speaker 1 Net worth 265 million, 570 million for Tom Cruise. I still think Tom Cruise would kick his ass.
Tom Cruise would murder him. Dude, he does all his own stunts, Hank.
He's like 60.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if he does all his own stunts. I doubt he does.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 1 There's no way he's hanging outside of a helicopter on Mission Impossible. Yes, that's him.
All of them? Yeah. And when he did that thing where he like Beeves has to

Speaker 1 do stunts for his concerts. Oh, he has to dance.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Beebs has to play basketball with a bunch of lackeys where he crosses him up with a slow crossover, and everyone's like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, those are impressive videos. And his hockey videos are crazy, too.
Tom Cruise doing stunts for movies is basically just a dance. It's just like choreographed.
It's hardcore.

Speaker 1 You cannot tell the difference

Speaker 1 between a video on. Justin Bieber is way younger and taller.

Speaker 1 Of Vladimir Putin playing hockey against a bunch of people he'll murder and Justin Bieber playing hockey against all of his fake best friends. You can't tell

Speaker 1 Putin would fuck up Tom Cruise too. Yeah, agree.
Oh, duh. That wasn't, yeah, that was.
You're just changing the topic here.

Speaker 1 I'm comparing Putin and Justin Bieber, and I'm saying in a very bad comparison, they would both fuck up Tom Cruise. I'm saying he plays sports where everyone lets him be the best all the time.

Speaker 1 I wasn't saying that Vladimir Putin and Justin Bieber are equally good at shit. Tom Cruise also has a Scientology craziness.
Like that is under like that.

Speaker 1 Justin Bieber's got the hot, hot pastor church shit, though. He's not crazy, though.
Tom Cruise is crazy. He's crazy, Hank.
Like, I just think that that adds an element that you can't.

Speaker 1 I'd like to disavow what Big Cat's saying about Scientology. I think it's crazy.
Oh, I didn't say Scientology was crazy. Wonderful religion.

Speaker 1 Filled with great people that are not litigious and would never come after us for a while. I didn't say Scientology.
Big Scientology guy. Tom Cruise is crazy for his Scientology beliefs.
No, no.

Speaker 1 Beeves a beast. He's in the prime of his career right now, and Tom Cruise is washed up.
Dude, Beeves has done so many drugs. Did he say Tom Cruise is washed up? Allegedly.

Speaker 1 Did you see Mission Impossible Fallout? No.

Speaker 1 He filmed like half of it with a broken foot. You're crazy, Hank.
He crushed. Remember when he jumped on Ellen's couch? That takes a lot of core strength, actually.
It does. No joke.

Speaker 1 He was just very in love that I don't have. Justin Bieber's never been that in love.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When I stood up on that chair on Thursday night to try to take the picture of Patrick Sharp, my core was burning for like three days after that. Although,

Speaker 1 I do kind of like Hank's been talking me into supporting Bieber and this whole thing just because

Speaker 1 no one's getting. Yeah, it's true.
Yeah. And then Conor McGregor called out Mark Wahlberg, so now we're just going to do this forever.
Where'd Mark Wahlberg come from? I have no idea.

Speaker 1 I think he might have called him out before, but

Speaker 1 they all got together, and this is some sort of marketing for something that we don't know yet. Hey, Colin Coward, we'll take you down, bitch.
Yeah, fuck you, Coward. Yeah.
Two on one.

Speaker 1 You won't do it, bitch.

Speaker 1 Bitch. Little bitch.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We have talking tennis.

Speaker 1 Rafa

Speaker 1 won again.

Speaker 1 12th

Speaker 1 French Open. On the clay.
He's 92 and 2, all-time on the clay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's goat clay status. Goat clay.
Well, he's the king of clay.

Speaker 1 He's performed. Hey, Rafa performed so good on clay.

Speaker 1 He's like Kawhi Leonard. Nice.
There you go. Get it? He's got the clay locked down.
Nice, nice. He's got clay locked down.
He's like negative five boobs. Yeah, that was pretty bad.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, that was talking tennis. I don't really have anything else.

Speaker 1 He just always wins the clay. You know what? It's going to be a very sad day day where I find out who won the French Open the night after it happened, and it's not Raffin at all.

Speaker 1 I'm very upset about it. It was crazy looking at all the years that he, you know, he, I think he's basically, what is it, since like 2006, he's won every year.

Speaker 1 There's two misses, but he just keeps fucking winning these tournaments.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Also, I just like the visual of the clay.
It's a big time flex if you go to somebody's house and not only do they have a tennis court, but they have a clay court tennis court. Dr.
Phil.

Speaker 1 Dr. Phil has a clay court.
Dr. Phil made us go go see his clay court.
He's like, here, come on, fellas.

Speaker 1 Come check out this clay court. I was going to play.
I had a game or playing a lot of time. Play eight times a week.
Okay. Cool.
I'll bet Dr. Phil is really bad at tennis, but he plays all the time.

Speaker 1 He plays eight times a week.

Speaker 1 All right. Last up before we get to our Monday reading, thoughts and prayers, Big Poppy.
He was shot. Apparently, he's in stable condition.
We don't know. He was shot at a nightclub.

Speaker 1 The surgeon who did the surgery said he's out of danger. Oh, that's good.
Okay, that's good.

Speaker 1 Also, thoughts and prayers to all the

Speaker 1 Yankee fans who have to tweet. As a Yankee fan, I still want to send my thoughts and prayers.
This is big time as a Yankee fan

Speaker 1 season where everyone has to declare what team they root for and then say something that's completely normal and makes you just a regular human being like, hey, it's bad that this person was shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you for taking a stand, for showing that, you know, some things are bigger than a rivalry. And one of those things is somebody getting shot.
As a Yankee fan,

Speaker 1 I don't want to see this guy die. I read that the shot, he got shot through his back, it went out of his stomach, and he was in surgery.
I hope that he's doing okay.

Speaker 1 This is like the, I was saying earlier, this is the Mad Libs perfect storm of Colin Coward foot and mouth takes. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember still when Sean Taylor got shot.

Speaker 1 Are you doing serious PFT? I'm doing serious PFT because

Speaker 1 that's actually why I don't like Colin Coward and probably never will. For basically throwing dirt on Sean Taylor's reputation while he was in the hospital dying.
That's Colin Coward's move, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He loves just basically finding the place you shouldn't go.

Speaker 1 Not afraid to go. Not afraid to go.
Not afraid to go. But yeah, David Ortiz, big poppy.
I hope that you're doing well.

Speaker 1 Shout out you. Are you okay? No, I'm sad.

Speaker 1 I actually really do like him. No, of course, I like him too.
Yeah, we've had he's a recurring guest.

Speaker 1 I'm just, I think it sounds like he's going to be okay. It's crazy that, like, it's a weird headline to see come across on a Sunday night.
You're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 So I read that it wasn't a nightclub, that it was like an amusement center or something like that.

Speaker 1 It was a restaurant. No, it was a restaurant.
I saw Entertainment Center, which I assume is what they call a nightclub. There's a surveillance video of it.

Speaker 1 It doesn't look like an attempted robbery as much. It was just like a guy.
Fucking crazy. Yeah.
So, but he sounds like he's going to be okay. He's out of danger.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I definitely don't want to say that anymore. No, of course not.
But, you know,

Speaker 1 we can tweet that as a Yankee fan, we want Big Poppy to be better.

Speaker 1 I fucking love the internet, how it's so stupid. We actually won't tweet that.
Yeah, no, we won't. But a lot of people have already tweeted it.
So you can search as a Yankee fan right now.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do it right now and see how many come up.

Speaker 1 Yankee fan. Just stay classy.
Dude, it's a very human, normal reaction to be like, this guy that everyone watched, we hope he's okay. You don't have to tell us that you're also a Yankee fan.

Speaker 1 There are some bad takes. Oh, well.
Really? Yes. Yikes.
There are some very bad takes. How can anyone like, who doesn't like Big Poppy?

Speaker 1 I mean, as a Big Yankees fan, I always rooted against the Red Sox, but I hope and pray David Ortiz will be okay. That was really nice of him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He even went as far to say he always rooted against Red Sox, but a Red Sox getting shot is one too far for him. Wow.
What a human. I really hope David Ortiz is okay.

Speaker 1 As a Yankee fan and non-Dominican, I have so much respect for that man and what he has done for baseball.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.
Okay. Interesting.

Speaker 1 The humanity we find on Twitter is unrealistic. It's crazy how you can feel sympathy for somebody even though you didn't grow up in the same country they did.

Speaker 1 Or root for the, or they were the rival to the team you root for. Actually, that is kind of rare in today's society.
So that actually is.

Speaker 1 Good for you, Margarita. Good job, Twitter.
At Maggie with Two Wise. But we do actually hope that David Ortiz is okay.
Sounds like he's out of danger because Hank told us that. So let's just,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 Well, there's that old saying that a country that has had David Ortiz growing up in it has never fought a war against another country like that. True.
Yeah. That's a fact.
All right, Monday reading.

Speaker 1 This one comes from the Washington Post. It is titled, Dodgeball is a tool of oppression used to

Speaker 1 dehumanize others, researchers argue. Wow.
Okay. One of Jim Class's most common games is being used as a tool of oppression, according to a team of Canadian

Speaker 1 researchers. Wow.
So it's Canada is the one who's leading this, just so we can get that out there right now. It's too violent for Canada.

Speaker 1 Dodgeball in PhysEd classes teaches students to dehumanize and harm their peers.

Speaker 1 Professors from three Canadian universities said in a presentation this week at the Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences in Vancouver. That is a real thing, I guess.

Speaker 1 The Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. When you're setting up the environment for students to learn and you introduce the idea that it's okay to slam the ball at whomever you like, even if

Speaker 1 with a soft ball, the intention is there. Yeah, I've always wondered about that, by the way.
So like, yeah, I see why gym class and all that stuff exists, but why are schools tied in with sports?

Speaker 1 You've been going back to high school. You got to get fit.
But I'm saying, like, why is it your school that has a basketball team or your school that has a soccer team? You're saying or get me wrong.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I love high school sports, and I played several poorly. But what I'm saying is that, like, it's always kind of a weird concept that it's like the school also is sports Yes.

Speaker 1 At the same time, well, it's the community.

Speaker 1 The builder. Yeah, the community.

Speaker 1 When students think it's okay because we're being told it's okay to do that, what do they learn? People say dodgeball is being used in an outlet for aggression or catharsis.

Speaker 1 I suspect that this is where they're learning that. I think it's just a game that you just fucking pass the time with when your shitty gym teachers like here just throw balls at each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah, also, I feel like dodgeball hasn't really been played in most gym classes in the last 10 years or so, anyways. And the balls are really soft.
Yeah. Like, they actually have made them.

Speaker 1 I played dodgeball a couple years ago.

Speaker 1 We played it like last year. Yeah.
And it was, the balls were very soft, and it wasn't like those

Speaker 1 kickballs that we used to play with that actually fucking hurt because they would like rip off your skin. Right.
These are the Gator skin ones. Like the

Speaker 1 white balls that are soft. They're like pillows.
They actually feel really nice to hold. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What I think if you don't have the alternative to not having dodgeball is probably a bunch of other sports that are more dehumanizing.

Speaker 1 So, this is coming out of Canada where you're literally allowed to fight people on the ice in hockey. Yes.

Speaker 1 Like, you can pick out a weakling and beat the shit out of him or cross-check him into the boards. But I would much rather have that

Speaker 1 confrontation going down with a tiny, soft little dodgeball from across the room. And you say no headshots to start, so it's all good.
But you say no headshots, you're fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then the first guy tries to duck and he ducks into your headshot. Well, not really a headshot.
Yeah, not really a headshot. Not targeting.

Speaker 1 Physical education should be an arena where teachers are helping students control their aggression and move on instead of expressing themselves through anger i kind of disagree with that i feel like physical education should just be like play a bunch of shitty games don't have to be in class for a an hour and don't overthink it well there is some truth to the fact that if you just tell somebody never to get mad they just build up a lot of anger until they head hunt and then they start headhunting with dodgeballs right researchers took away hitler's uh p e class and that's why he went

Speaker 1 an artist.

Speaker 1 Researchers set out to interview middle school age students about broader questions in physical education courses, but kept hearing the same thing from certain students. They hated dodgeball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, from the ones that sucked at dodgeball. I think what this article is also leaving out is that, yeah, the students might not like it, but the adults love watching.

Speaker 1 Watching kids drill other kids in the face with dodgeballs. Yeah, if you have a good arm, you really love it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's mostly just for the adults to just kick back and enjoy and watch, like, you know, the kids hurt each other. Right.

Speaker 1 So then made it like they basically tried to scare us the most with, I think of the little girl who is running to the back to avoid being targeted. What is she learning in that class? Avoidance?

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe, I don't know, just like. Avoid predators.
Yeah, run faster, be able to duck. Yeah.
Have a better. Actually, you shouldn't avoid.

Speaker 1 You should grab a ball and use that as your shield.

Speaker 1 So it's actually teaching them to be smart, not stupid, and just run around. Right.

Speaker 1 If that little kid finds themselves out in nature and there's a lion around, you want them to know that they're supposed to run away from danger.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the message is that it's okay to hurt or dehumanize, I can't say that word, dehumanize the other.

Speaker 1 The competition is about annihilating one's opponent, and the true definition of competition is between two evenly matched teams. That's not true.

Speaker 1 Like, if you play any sport, you're trying to crush the opponent, right?

Speaker 1 That's the idea. This feels like very Canada right now, where they're like, yeah,

Speaker 1 you do not, sportsmanship above all.

Speaker 1 I get that in youth, but like eventually you're going to grow up and be an adult, and people are going to be like, well, let's just make sure we have a very evenly matched game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, also, if you don't want to be playing dodgeball,

Speaker 1 it's probably the easiest sport to lose intentionally. Yes.
Just like on purpose, get yourself out in the first five minutes. This is the best.

Speaker 1 Well, kids, well, kids stack their teams, and they really enjoy beating the other team. What's the enjoyment of that?

Speaker 1 If you're betting on it a lot. I was going to say, like, there's nothing.
That's like saying, hey, why are you playing Madden on Easy and going 16-0? Because it's fucking fun.

Speaker 1 Because I put up Mad stats. Like, dude, you see? Like, if I was playing in college football, I win the Heisman every year.
It's fucking awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did schedule Eastern Washington and, like, Tulsa. So what? I put up 15 touchdowns in those games.
What was your guys' favorite obscure PE sport growing up?

Speaker 1 I love playing Foursquare. We should bring back Foursquare.
Four Square was sick. Four Square was great.
You remember like it was called Battleships with those little carts?

Speaker 1 No? No. Was that a situated thing? They gave you guys grocery carts.
No, they were like these little, like, tiny carts that you had to wheel around. You'd fuck up your hand.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Someone had someone. Grocery cart.
No, no, no. They're like little, like.

Speaker 1 You were just playing jackass. You were doing Johnny Knoxville.
That's kind of fun. That is.

Speaker 1 The final line of this is. And Wall Ball.

Speaker 1 Wallball was sick. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that they had a bunch of researchers go in depth here because they finished with gym classes are largely centered around games, which can be great, but can also exclude students with different strengths.

Speaker 1 You just explained how every gym class that has ever existed. What about fucking math classes where people aren't smart? Like, fuck tank? Great fucking point, man.
Yeah. It's not fair.
No.

Speaker 1 It's not fair if you can't read.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Right.
I failed algebra. Spelling beat.
I felt awful at it. Oh, dude, I had.
It's the same.

Speaker 1 When they started doing...

Speaker 1 What's the one above calculus? Oh, I didn't even touch calculus.

Speaker 1 I wasn't even close to to calculus. It's just dodgeball with your own brain cells.
It sucks. I can't fucking do calculus.
That shit was crazy. Did any of you guys do calculus? No, I don't.

Speaker 1 We are absolutely disavowed for that. I took a year of college.
I took one year of calculus, and then I went back to algebra two somehow in college. Yeah, I took, you know what I took in college?

Speaker 1 I took, you had to take like some kind of math or science class. I took nutritional sciences.
That was my only science class.

Speaker 1 So my math class that I took in college was called Environmental Mathematics.

Speaker 1 And here's the entire semester was the same equation but they changed a little bit so it was like there are 500 fish in this pond after every year like 10% of the fish will die of natural causes but they reproduce at a rate of eight percent a year for 75 so that was that was a question like in five years how many fish will be in the pond that was the only equation that we had and they would just change the type of animal and the location for each weekly lesson so like the next week it was like how many iguanas are in the rainforest if they die five

Speaker 1 yeah yeah exactly Yeah. So if you could figure out that one equation, you could get an A.
I also get a C plus.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, once you figure out, once you get old enough to figure out that all the odd numbers are in the back of the book for all your math textbooks, that's pretty much where your math education dies.

Speaker 1 Because you're like, I will do, I will cheat off all the odd numbers, and then I will scribble a bunch of numbers on the even numbers and show my work. Remember, show my work?

Speaker 1 Fuck, show my work. I just told myself.
I'm just going to fucking get the answers. I'd be like, I'm smart enough where I just thought of that number.
Do you just fake right the numbers?

Speaker 1 It happened that I got all the odds right. Whoops.
Write fake work all the way to the bottom of the page and then look like you're squeezing it in. And then question mark, like, what is this?

Speaker 1 Show my work. Fuck, show my work.
I'll say this. I've learned 50 times as much math from gambling and smoking weed and buying weed than I ever did in any sort of math class.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And buying like cereal in New York City where you're like, that's expensive. Yeah.
That's pretty much it. So yeah,

Speaker 1 gym class, whatever.

Speaker 1 It's fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like, what? It's not relatable. Yeah, what? I mean, it is.
But some of our listeners live in New York City. I know how to do it.
A lot of people know that New York City is expensive.

Speaker 1 I know how to divide grams and ounces. Nobody knows how to do that shit.

Speaker 1 So we basically just proved that you need to keep dodgeball. You need to keep sports where you can just chuck things at people.
Yeah, there should be a class where you sell weed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because some of us don't do math.

Speaker 1 Dude, calculus, man. We should take a calculus class.
Fuck that. No, I don't even like that.
Like July. This is the off-season alert.
It would be funny to have us just sit there and be be like,

Speaker 1 off-season brain alert.

Speaker 1 Liam, you took calculus? No. Oh.
I was saying for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We should finish Liam's degree.

Speaker 1 Damn. Liam dropped out of college with one semester left.
Two semesters left. We should finish his degree.

Speaker 1 At our pace. Absolutely.
Well, no, we're going to have someone else fuck. We're going to have fucking Jake Marsh.
Well, no, smart. We're going to have him.

Speaker 1 Do you remember we found that fake college over in Europe that you can just buy degrees from? But dude, what if we got an online class? We just made...

Speaker 1 Because like Jake Marsh, who's sitting right here, but just don't give him eye contact. He, we're just like, hey, busy work.

Speaker 1 Do this real quick. It's a calculus class.
This one happens to be UMass Amherst. Yeah.
I like that. You're like, here's some busy work.
It's a scantron test.

Speaker 1 Your assignment for next week is to bring in number two pencils on the label. If we could all walk across the stage,

Speaker 1 that would be. Would you? Yes.
If we all go cap and gown across the stage, it would definitely be worth it. Let's start small.
Let's just

Speaker 1 set our goals low and just try to watch a random NFL game at some point this week from like 2007. I don't know if I can do long division anymore.

Speaker 1 Fuck. All right.
Wednesday. We have one of our

Speaker 1 most talked about

Speaker 1 story arcs. We made a reference to him in this show.
And he will be on on Wednesday, so get excited.

Speaker 1 You will be very excited for this interview. We're also going to give you a little

Speaker 1 music from our colleague Frank the Tank to take us out. He put together a song for the St.
Louis Blues not winning the Stanley Cup tonight. It's catchy as hell.
It's catchy as hell.

Speaker 1 Wait, real quick, before we jump out of here, are we going to do Soggy Sorrows if the Bruins lose? Yeah. Have to.
I think you should have to do it too, big cat. It's like St.

Speaker 1 Louis winning a Stanley Cup. That's just as bad as Hank.
Like, he's kind of a Bruins.

Speaker 1 I would have been mad if the Blues have won on home ice. Now I'm just going to pretend that it, especially because it's on an off night of the show.
I'm just going to pretend it doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 So the game will be on Wednesday, and then by Thursday, I'll be like, what are you talking about? Stanley Cup final? I don't even remember it. Smart.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Feed picks for sale. Feed picks.
Let me know. Yo, hit up Hank.
Hit his cash app. Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Put up those ads saying that you already had the Stanley Cup,

Speaker 3 but you forgot who they are.

Speaker 3 50 years of losing, they can't hide from,

Speaker 3 and they blew it big time.

Speaker 3 That's what happens

Speaker 3 when you are in St. Louis.

Speaker 3 You always got a trouble,

Speaker 3 and that's why they call them the Blues.

Speaker 3 They'll never win

Speaker 3 the Stanhandley Club.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my take, presented by Bar Stool Sports.