Lacrosse Superstar Paul Rabil, Kentucky Ghost Callers, And Our New Intern Jill

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On today's part of my take, we have a packed episode for you. We have Paul Rabel from the Premier Lacrosse League.
He taught us all about lacrosse. He is, some may say, the goat of lacrosse.
Very, very fun time, interesting interview with him. He's a really good guy.
We gave him some pretty surefire winners for the PLL. Yeah.
Had to goose the ratings a little bit. He is what will make me watch lacrosse because I'm like, damn, that was a really likable guy.
He's not really like the classic lax bro that you're, you know, Chad or Brad. Even that wouldn't be bad.
But Paul Rabel, really good guy. We also hosted Kentucky Sports Radio, one of our favorite days of the year.
We gave you some clips from some unbelievable callers. We also, also have the debut of our 69-year-old intern, Jilly Football, and License to Jill.
And then on top of all that we have fire fest and uh nba finals and drake and owners pushing players and a packed friday big friday energy huge friday energy ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariot ariot work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10 off your first order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in Ariat work gear okay let's go. place to hang out on Washington and then I can't name all on your side oh no we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to electric welcome to pardon my take presented by the cash app put inSTOOL.
You'll get $5 to ASPCA, save some animals. Today is Friday, June 7th, and if you're wondering what happened in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final, we are live watching the third period for you, so we will live react as the episode goes along.
We have an awesome friday show for you paul rabel coming up kentucky sports radio ghost stories jilly football all of it's coming we're watching the game oh i'm feeling hank is reacting as we go they're on a right now it's blues one nothing we got 15 45 left in the third a minute left on the power play for the b word so we won So we won't talk about it unless there's a goal or unless something big happens. But we're going to start with the NBA Finals.
We're going to start with Game 3. We have a lot of storylines that came out of it, but I want to talk about the actual game first.
We're actually NBA fans. We're not the This League fans.
I'm not a fan. I'm a journalist.
Speak for yourself. I'm objective.
Okay, so

absolute ass kicking by the Raptors.

Boardman gets paid.

Boardman gets paid. Steph Curry with an all-time

performance. 47

points, 8 rebounds. He had the most

rebounds of the Warriors, which is incredible.

He basically tried to will the Warriors to

a victory. The Warriors were

putting out some hilarious lineups

because no Klay Thompson, no Kevin Durant. Who was the guy that looked like Detlev shrimp got the chicken pox Drebko yeah got no fucking armpit hair no game yeah no game Drebko no yeah the Warriors lineup was like every now and then well Steph was on fire but every now and then one of their guys make a shot but for the majority of the game it was like open shots because everyone was guarding Steph and then some bum missing.
What sucks is that when it's a Warriors game, I can't turn the game off early if it's a blowout. No.
Because you never know. You absolutely never know.
And it feels the same story every time the Raptors take a game from him or even when the Rockets were beating him. But you can't turn off the game even in the fourth quarter.
There were like two minutes left. They were down by 10 points, down by 12 points.
And it was like shit, I really need to let Leroy out and have him take a massive dump. But I can't because Steph Curry might just catch fire again and ruin my night for me.
A lot of people were also complaining about the late start time to the game. I like the late start time for two reasons.
One, it separates the men from the boys. As a real fan it's like I have to work for it i know that lesser fans don't stay up for it uh number two it gives me way more time to lock in my bet so i think that the nba actually really enjoys these late start times because it gives it adam silver loves he's a betting man people uh a much larger window with which to lock in their bed think To think about it.
Yeah, so they'll tune in.

So the other parts of the game,

Klay Thompson obviously being out,

hurts the Warriors not only, obviously, on offense.

That's very apparent.

But defensively, he's like, I mean, he changes everything.

The Raptors got whatever they wanted.

They shot like 47 from three.

They were on fire all night.

And then I want to give a special shout out to my guy

boogie cousins because what he did in game two was phenomenal and like any fat guy he was like i got

mine i'm not coming back for game three because he no-showed game three and i like it because you

know that he was like a little extra sore from game two he was like i've done my part i don't

you guys don't need me like to do this every game right? And they needed it on game three, and he just didn't show up for it. Yeah, he would do the thing where he would occasionally to look like you're hustling if you're playing pickup basketball and you're an out-of-shape guy, just bring the ball up court once or twice and then pass it immediately.
But for that play, as far as everybody else is concerned, you were the point guard. My move to always get a laugh if I bring the ball up is I just call it fake play.
I'm like, Indiana, Indiana, everyone get it set up. And then you just pretend like you throw the ball and then go set a pick, and everyone's like, ha-ha.
You say triangle. Just set up the triangle for me.
All right, so I actually think the Warriors are totally fine. I mean, that's not like a hot take, but Klay's going to be back.
I think they – sitting Klay, they were like, look, we're the Warriors. Like, we'll be fine.
Let's get him 100% healthy or close to 100%. He's not going to be 100% for the rest of the series.
But they know that they can win on the road. They know they can win down.
I don't think Kevin Durant's going to play this series. We've said that on wednesday did you see him after the game in the tunnel he was he was doing he was doing the good job good effort he also was he was the good job good effort kid for the warriors he was icing his achilles it's a lower calf strain he uh also has been ruled out for game four already yeah so i like how we're getting even further away like we're gonna rule them out for game five the minute game four ends but still think they're fine because of the Warriors.
And I know people don't like the Warriors or sick of the Warriors, but I actually love this series because they're being tested to the absolute limit. And it's like they will really earn this if they win this series.
Yeah. And then there was obviously the story of the partial owner of the Warriors.
Mark Stevens. Mark Stevens giving a little shove to Kyle Lowry as he dove into the sand.
I want to start with the partial owner of the warriors mark stevens mark stevens giving a little shove to kyle lowry as he dove into the sand i i want i want to start with the partial owner part because i don't know if you've noticed what the media has been doing and the warriors have been doing and the nba uh he started as an owner now he's a he went to an owner to partial owner then he was a minority owner then he was an investor well he's definitely white yes well no minority stake yes and then he was an investor and then like by the start of game four he's gonna be like some dude who just gave us a lot of money once yeah he bought a lot of t-shirts yeah we just decided to give him a little stake they're distancing themselves so far from this guy and never heard of him he's gonna have to have to sell his stock. Or his investment in the Warriors.

Poor Mark Stevens.

It's gone up like four and a half times.

So he's going to make a shitload of money from it.

You think they can offer that to KD to stick around?

Or LeBron to come.

Or LeBron to come.

But let me just say this.

But then he can't call himself an owner.

This is almost like an...

You're right.

That's true.

That's problematic.

There's almost an epidemic going on. Everyone's talking about how many owners are pushing players in the stands in the NBA.
This is the type of thing that never happens in the NBL down in Australia, down in New Zealand. We've never pushed.
We've never gone to a game. Listen, it never happens down there.
We promise to never even go to a game. So that's how safe you are if you play for the breakers.
A lot of people are talking about players that are going to ditch the NBA and go play overseas because they're sick of getting assaulted by the owners. It's not complicated because you should never, ever touch a player.
That's like point blank, end of story, never touch a player. The complicated part to me slightly is it was very clearly like he was blacked out and almost like his fan his fandom came over him so you're sitting on the couch you're throwing your remote at the tv he just happened to be sitting right next to cowl lowry when he went in his lap and he shoved him listen you're not excusing it but i also like understand how someone can black out in the moment and be like, fuck this guy.
We're getting our ass kicked. You know what? This is a Silicon Valley guy.
He's exposed to all the finest. Mark Jackson said he's from the suburbs.
Well, I'm saying he's exposed to all the finest in 4K 3D technology when it comes to watching these games live. He's probably watched games on his couch where it felt like the players were diving into his living room.

So he's probably comfortable shoving at them

and getting away with it because

they're not real. It's the technology that he

has access to. So when he's at a game,

he can't tell what's

in the Matrix and what's real life. No, of course

not. He also...

Oh! Fuck. Nope.

Okay, Hank. No goal, Hank.
Calm down.

That was Hank screaming about a no goal. Hank almost hanked himself on that one.
13 minutes left in the game. It's Paul Pierce now.
Left a little Hank in there. The other part of like the Kyle Lowry going into the stands, the woman in the second row.
She got lit up. She got jacked up.
Like straight up whiplash, concussion, neck brace brace but because this fucking little loser mark stevens who probably has more money to buy and sell us a million times over gave kyle lowry a little push that's the story so i feel bad for her i do too it was like she's not even a first row guy that's right she's she's not rich she didn't have 2.3 billion it was probably got like 500 million that sucks for sucks for her. It sucks.
It did look like a hit from NFL Blitz that she took. You know what? To her credit, she kind of chewed it.
She got hit directly in the thorax, right in the sternum region. And she just sat down calmly and then kind of rubbed her shoulder out a little bit.
Marcus Mariota would have been out for the season with that. Oh, yeah.
He would be dead. Marcus Mariotata would turn into a cloud of dust um so he is now gonna have to probably sell his stake he's banned for a year it's got to be really awkward because i've always wondered like well actually we ourselves are my minority stake owners it is kind of awkward because we know there's guys with bigger swinging dicks who have you know more money than us who who actually invested in the team and put in the paperwork and all that shit like we haven't that might be a goal by the way it's got to be weird to be that guy who's parallax effect already walking on eggshells a little bit i actually think it might be yeah parallax effect yes yes it might be to be that guy who's already walking on eggshells because he's rich but he's not the richest and he doesn't own the team to then fuck the team over like this yeah it's that's that's gotta be a weird i don't know who even owns the the lake or whatever his name is texting him the next morning he's gotta be fucking weird that's that's gotta be tough it's like your dumb drunk buddy who always fucks up at the party you really fuck this one yeah and he's just like hey man hey, man, I'm sorry that I took a shit in your pool

and broke your jacuzzi. My bad.
And it's like, come on, man. I mean, fair is fair.
You always fucked this up. Fair is fair.
Drake should be allowed to assault one player in the Warriors. Okay, so speaking of Drake, let's talk about Drake and his war with the Warriors.
Are we going to ignore the beehive going after him? No, we're getting there. Okay.
We're getting there. All right, good.
That's a big sports story. We're getting there.
Drake burned Clay Thompson by posting a picture of Clay, like, basically with a bunch of women that I think he might have had sex with. Own.
That was an all-time own. Pretty sick.
I guess Clay is, like, in a relationship that, like, ended poorly because of his cheating ways. But still, Drake basically was like, Clay has a lot of sex.
What's funny is Clay could come out with a mixtape right now and absolutely bury Drake, and Drake would not respond to him. Remember about your kid that Pusha T said? Yeah.
Why haven't any of the Warriors done that? Just teamed up with Pusha T? They were playing a pregame, like shoot around and shit. They just kept playing that song on repeat.
Oh, really? The Pusha T song, yeah. This league, I tell you.
This league. All right, that was a all right that was a no goal so yes the last thing we need to talk about before we get to fire fest of the week the bay hive the bay hive have have ruined this is this actually was the worst game possible for all the richest people in golden state you know the golden state warriors arena oracle arena all the richest people got got one guy had to sell all his shares and be publicly shamed and then the the uh wife of one of the owners like basically asked jay-z if he wanted to drink because i think jay-z and beyonce were their guests but it was the perfect internet clip where beyonce looked very upset right after and the beehive attacked and she had to delete her Instagram and she got threatened her life got threatened what am I what have I been telling you guys about even an overreaction at all danger of one single hornet or bee I think it's a beehive and when the beehive starts to swarm on you I would rather stick my dick in an actual beehive than to provoke cross the bay the bay Beehive on Instagram.
And I think we actually are provoking them right now by saying beehive. No, no, no.
They're beehive. No, that was Hank.
That was Hank that was mispronouncing it. Is it beehive or beehive? At Henry Lockwood1 at Instagram.
He was the one mispronouncing it. Put those bees.
Could you imagine the terror? Basically, M. Night Shyamalan should make a movie about it.
You just go on your Instagram one day and you see a couple bees buzzing. And then you refresh.
And now there's 100 bees. And then you refresh again.
And there's 10,000 bee comments. I had a small taste of it one time during an award show.
I think I said something. It was like Rihanna too.
Rihanna greater than Beyonce. And I got a little taste of the beehive coming at you.
They buzzed a little. I can't imagine the public being in front of the finals game.

Terrifying.

The whole hive just coming at you.

She had to delete her Instagram, and I think her life was threatened.

They should do another sequel to My Girl,

where instead of getting swarmed by an actual swarm of bees,

you just get killed by stans.

You get killed by cyberbullying.

Yeah, she said, I've never experienced cyberbullying like this.

No, duh.

I can't believe our players go through this, that kids go through this.

Well, kids know not to fuck with Beyonce.

So I think that's kind of on you.

Yeah, that may be so fucking funny.

Like how many stories come out of each game?

It's ridiculous.

All right.

Should we do Fyre Fest week?

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Hank, why don't you start with your Fyre Fest, which I'll start with one for you. You want to go to game seven for your birthday, and the Bruins look like they might lose game five.
That's okay. Okay.
A lot of time left. All right.
Good FireFest, Hank. Okay, anyway, my FireFest of the week.
Hank's FireFest is having to talk on the number one sports podcast when you'd rather be watching TV. You're the one that said let's record it during the game.
That's true. Literally, like, you brought that up.
That's true. That's on us.
Anyway, my bad, I guess. It wasn't my idea to put it on.
My Firefest of the week is that I watched a Jonas Brothers documentary, and I actually really liked them. Why is that a Firefest? No, that's kind of a Firefest.
You have to do some internal reckoning now. You go in and you're like, oh, Jonas Brothers, those guys are losers.
Like, only teenage girls like them, blah, blah, blah. You know, you think they're just a product of the Disney channel and it's like, then you watch the documentary, you realize they were grinding for like three years.
No one, like, family had to leave their house and all this shit. Like, oh, kind of a cool story.
It's like when I watched Chernobyl and I was like, radiation's kind of badass. Yeah.
Chernobyl's kind of, every time I go on the train, I'm like, what if,

what if like,

like you just walk outside

and you're fucked?

Yeah.

It's like you walk

into a radiation cloud.

Chernobyl.

Yeah,

you're done.

And you know,

what's really scary

is that if it had gone up

into the atmosphere

the way that some people

predicted it was going to,

the like jet stream

would have carried the radiation

all over the world.

Yeah.

It's,

it's crazy that,

I mean,

I know why it's highly rated because it was obviously very well done, but man, that's a fucking bummer of a show. Like, real bummer.
Well, we learned our lesson. Really sucked.
Really sucked. All right, you got any other Fyre Fest? Fyre Fest of the week? Yeah, you can do most.
Yeah, you can do most. Was, you like the Jonas Brothers now? Yeah.
Okay. It was like, you know, it was my girlfriend.

I was like, oh, I'm watching a Jonas Brothers documentary.

I was like, oh, Jonas Brothers, those guys are losers.

And then I sat there and watched it, and I was like, oh.

Do they have any songs that slap?

Which songs go?

Year 3000.

How many are there?

There's three.

So one of them is like the biggest.

Oh, Blues just scored a goal.

Blues just scored a goal.

That looks like that might be it. Wow.
Marshawn is crying into his soul patch. Blues just scored a goal.
Hank. That literally happened during your Firefest.
That's tough. Your Firefest was still open while that happened.
Your Firefest got Firefest cucked by your actual team. Yeah.
That was. You got to clear the puck.
Yeah. We're watching you.
Get the puck out of the zone. like maybe a trip what are you doing look like a trip they're gonna have yeah was right there and look like let the boys play in the Stanley Cup final blues goal his seventh of the postseason number 57 David Perron Perron 924 that was thank you that wasek Marsh, who's in the building,

doing the in-game announcing for us, the arena announcing.

Hank, that's tough.

That should have been a trip.

That felt like a trip.

He slew footed him.

Oh, whoa.

That was, who was that?

That's Cam Neely. He just fucking rocketed a water bottle.

That was awesome.

Oh, man.

It's a good thing he didn't throw it at a player. He would have been suspended for year cam neely that was uh wine um dine i'm 69 i'm right c bass yeah yeah c bass kick his ass c bass all right pft what do you got uh my firefest of the weekend can you play some like patriotic music underneath this we'll see okay my firefest of the week is d-day uh-oh 75 a bunch of soldiers, the original influencers, got a one-way ticket to an unforgiving, unsupplied beach without proper accommodations or return transportation.
Sound familiar? It was the original Firefest. There were no swimming pigs.
All they had was the German soldiers at the Rangers. This is your Firefest? Threw off the cliff.
I'm trying to give respect to the military. Okay.
How long is this? I'm almost done. I'm almost done.
So next time you hear a quarterback calling an audible, take a moment to think about the time our military saw their weakness in the opponent's defense and responded by screaming Omaha, Omaha. All right.
You can cut the page. Okay.
So your fire fast is D day. It was a strong respect to the original Fire Fest, which was D-Day.
By saying... And my great uncle got shot.
Fire Fest. Okay.
So your Fire Fest was showing respect? My family, your Fire Fest of the week is... Yeah, I don't think that that's how...
You're associating the troops with Fire Fest? I'm saying that if you... And also, if your personal Fire Fest of the week is D-Day.
If you think that Fire Fest was bad, then... Yeah, well, D-Day was not a fun time.
If you think Firefest was bad, imagine what it was. Hurt by Firefest.
The whole point of this segment is your personal Firefest to make the trivial moments in life and make light of it. No.
And you just had, like, the most serious moment and tried to make light of it. Yeah, I thought, yeah, you're absolutely right.
Okay. Because, I mean nobody else was going to show respect to that.
Well, we could have said something. You could have just been like, hey, let's have a moment of silence.
Sometimes a man's got to take matters into his own hands. All right.
My fire fest. A moment of silence on a podcast is a great idea.
Yeah, we've done that before. We should do that more often.
We have done that before. Just kill a lot of time.
My fire fest of the week is I went home on, I think, Wednesday, Tuesday night, and my cable didn't work for like 15 minutes so that was pretty bad stuff was it raining no i had to unplug the box and plug it back in that's you know when you like turn on your tv like what's going on and that first that first like 30 seconds you're like oh it's probably just slow today the announcer just speaking in spanish yeah and then and then like a minute and a half later, you're like, uh-oh, something's wrong. And that thought pops in your head where you say, what if my cable's just broken? And now I have to deal with calling the cable company and scheduling the whole thing.
And it's not going to be back for days and days and days. It's the scariest thing you can have.
But all you have to do usually is just the manual reset. Yeah.
No, I did that. And you were fine.
But for a moment, those two minutes. Oh, your brain goes to a bad, bad place.
You are just like, this might be the end. I might just call it quits because I might not have cable for a night.
You know what? That's how it's going to happen to our generation. That's when we're going to start actually cutting cords.
It's going to coincide when our cable happens to go out. And we'll just be like, you know what? I'd rather not deal with this.
So I'll just subscribe to online service. Also, there is an element where like the cable person relationship is a very fragile one.
And now my trust is at an all time low. So I'm like now flinching every time I turn on my TV for at least a week or two.
That's a little PTSD from the time that I wasn't able to turn on my TV for a minute and a half. It's a scary time.
Bro, you have cable? Oh, don't even start. Hank, are you a cord cutter? No, you have cable.
No, I'm just going to have cable. Yeah, you have cable.
Thank God. You have to watch The Bachelorette.
True. People who are cord cutters are not sports fans.
I'm just going to say it right now. Because you are buffering and you're watching a minute behind.
You care more about the money you're saving than the actual sports. And being up to date.
You are not a real sports fan. I mean, one of my best friends, we almost stopped being friends because he cut the cord.
And I tried to watch a bowl game with him. And I was like.
That was the main reason I moved out of my apartment. Yeah, we got in like the biggest fight ever.

I was like, I can't do this, dude.

You know what's great, though, about watching sports when there is a 10 second delay?

You can talk yourself out of some very bad live bets because what will happen is you'll

be pulling up a live bet line right now and you're trying to lock it in.

And then you refresh Twitter on your other screen and you see that the exact opposite

thing that you want to happen just happened.

But the problem is the live bet is 10 seconds ahead of the real time, so you're 20 seconds behind the live bet. So you don't even know where you are.
The live bet is so far in the future you can't comprehend it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
A lot of times it reminds me that I'm wrong about most of the things I choose to do in my life. I see what you're saying.
You're absolutely correct. It's so far in the future you can't comprehend it you're like wait it's like a total different inning because my stupid uh cord cutting ways have made me so far behind all the rest of america fucking losers all right uh let's get to our interviews paul rabel coming up here all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
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Here paul rabel okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is paul rabel he is a lacrosse legend he's also commissioner uh we can create yeah co-founder co-founder of the premier lacrosse league which is starting June 1st, NBC Sports. Are you playing as well? I'm playing.

The Jackie Moon of professional lacrosse. So are you, let's start here.
Are you the GOAT for people who don't, like, I would say most of our fan base doesn't follow lacrosse. Are you the GOAT? No.
Who is the GOAT? Well, I would say Gary Gate. You guys familiar with him?

Oh, yeah.

Gary Gate. Jim Brown.

Tom Schreiber.

What was that, Hank?

Tom Schreiber.

No, I'm a Gary Gate guy.

It's going to be like that, Hank?

Out of the gates?

Who's Tom Schreiber?

Tom Schreiber plays in our league.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah.

Is he better than you?

Hank thinks, apparently.

Oh, jeez.

So wait.

I thought we were going to be a Lions when I walked in.

Oh, wow.

Hank just stepped in immediately with his hero.

Oh, no. of the future.

So would some people call you the GOAT?

Some have on social.

Okay.

And did you win a national title with John Hopkins?

I did.

Okay.

How many?

John Hopkins.

Two?

One?

Two.

Whoa.

Who'd you beat?

Virginia and Duke or something?

We beat Duke both times.

Okay, there you go.

We know a lot more lacrosse than you think. All right.
So question is very important question because i think everyone is wondering this for a lacrosse goat have you ever had like in your deepest darkest moments been like man i wish i was really good at a real sport yeah pretty regularly yeah i could have i could have made bank i mean big cat i was like clawing at you over the last two years to get me on the show and i'm certain it's because very few people know about professional lacrosse so very few yeah i i'm like very empathetic to this situation of like at least being able to sit in here and talk about it good because that's a big thing like it's all good i think the what happens with uh sports that aren't the major for sports is you get a lot of please like my sport people and that turns other people off. Yeah.
So I actually think lacrosse community is a little different. Every time I've tweeted about it, it's been a little more welcoming than like MMA or soccer where people are like, you don't know shit.
Really? Would you say that overall that lacrosse is trying to the fan base is open and welcome to new fans? Oh, 100 percent. I our fan base is still in its nascent stages two million participants six million fans so relative to the core sports that you guys talk about uh it's small but i've noticed anytime you guys talk about lacrosse or barstool widely people just engage so like big agencies have put out reports around lacrosse fans and they follow other sports more than any other and so there's like really good demos that match with it is why we built the league to try to capitalize on it okay um but yeah our our i would say a vast majority of our fans listen to this show they've all been pinging me since your tweet and a pinging is a i just realized i gave a uh a cliche yeah that's good it's just digging a deeper hole.
I mean, as far as like a content creator, you're going right down the right path. They're all like, Paul, don't fuck this up.
Yeah. This is a big moment.
What's going on? You probably are the first and last lacrosse guest we'll ever have. Yeah.
So convince me. Why is lacrosse the sport of the future when everybody knows that it's rugby? Well, we actually – we built our model.
I know you guys were talking about it two shows ago,

trying to figure out the geo-based nature of our teams,

and there's no geo attached to the teams.

We're tour-based.

So similar to rugby sevens.

Right, so copycats.

What about rugby 15?

Yes, some good entrepreneurs are copycats.

Yeah, good point.

So we're copying that tour-based model

because it's the only team sport that has done it. But if you look ufc nascar pga tour they're all tour-based and so when you're a smaller sport like lacrosse we needed to capitalize on the players on venues and distribution and so like the reality is we weren't going to roll out a pro league with 20 owners they were building venues and blowing this thing out so it was only really one way to make a large impact.
So we had to get creative. And it's hard, though, because, you know, you guys are like, well, who's the team in Chicago? Who's the team in New York? Right.
And our thought was traditional sports. Yeah.
Yeah. Our thought was with six teams, if we were to label cities to them, that we would just be really local and we wouldn't be able to capitalize on this national growth that the sports had.
So not attaching a city to a team some fan in san francisco in new york can just pick their allegiance okay so like on any given is it going to be like a weekend yes a weekend long tournament okay so we were just talking about this the other week i was explaining it's actually very easy to understand it's not easy how the tournaments how the scoring not at. So right now you've got a built-in fan base that understands,

because we've discussed it so much, how like a tournament,

okay, one team finishes first, they get X amount of points.

Is that how it's working?

Those points carry over to the next tournament?

We should.

So it's seasonal.

We should have looked at points, honestly.

But what we did was, knowing tour base,

so all six teams are going to be at Gillette this weekend,

and we're playing two games on Saturday, one on Sunday,

all are on NBC. And three teams will be 1-00 three teams will be 0-1 that's week one then the following weekend we're in New York and then you might have 1-1 teams the right way not the rugby way good that's very complicated what you just described so you have three teams that win and then three teams that lose and that's week one's week one.
And so we have ten regular season games, an all-star break, and then playoffs and championships. So you have to make your way to the top four on your season record.
Love it. Okay.
See, I'm confused how you can lose but not still win. That's going to be an issue for me to get over.
But we'll handle that. But there's nothing from stopping an entire community.
Let's say Chicago really does love the chaos.

Who are the chaos?

So chaos lacrosse club.

That was the other thing.

We built lacrosse clubs.

So we tried to pull from England and the EPL and La Liga and build clubs

because we weren't going to attach to cities.

And then we formed the teams based on first university.

So a lot of our guys have played for similar universities.

You mentioned like Duke and Virginia. So the Whipsnakes snakes who i know you guys talked about yeah they're uh that's all good did you decide that name all um i was a part of it and what is that discussion who brought up whip snakes how high was that guy when he said it bro what if we just did whip snakes so so we felt like reptiles like having having a reptile involved was important as all leagues do.
Agreed. Okay.
And a snake in particular kept coming up from like a rattler to a copperhead or whatever. There's a bunch.
And so when you talk about lacrosse, and Hank probably knows this, is that a lot of shots are considered whip. Yeah.
Hey, he was just saying that the other day. So crank shots.
Yeah, crank shots. It's unbelievable how much you know about lacrosse.
Did iguanas ever get on the table there? No, never on the table. What about Komodo dragons or something like that? No, but I did a science project on Komodo dragons when I was younger.
Go on. That would have been a good idea.
You have the floor. I built a Komodo Dragon paper mache.
What about Fire Salamanders?

It wasn't great.

Okay.

There should be a Fire Salamander team.

Yeah.

We're considering doing Pyros for player intros.

Oh, okay.

I like that.

Give us the team names, all six.

Okay.

So you have Archers, Atlas, Chrome, Chaos, Whipsnakes, Redwoods.

Okay.

Got a problem with the Atlas.

Okay.

Because then like-

That's the team I play for.

Okay.

Well, so dumb people like me, when you're like the atlases the atlas i how do i pluralize well i think we can uh make it official on this show we just call it at lie at lie yeah yeah and we'll just quote you on it that's at lie lacrosse and i brought and yeah well it's atlas lacrosse okay the at lie but when you go there i brought you a t-shirt at lie yeah-Lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so Atlas, Whipsnakes, Chrome, Chaos. Did you do Internet Explorer or anything like that? Firefox would be an awesome name.
Yeah. So Chrome was an interesting one because we were looking at the Steelers.
Okay. So we looked at a lot of other teams.
This is crazy. I would have loved to have you guys been a part of the process because you get your brains on it.
Next one, tell us. We will help you.
We'll have expansion teams, hopefully. Yes.
But yeah, so we were looking at other organizations across team sports leagues, and the Steelers kept coming up, but there's so much IP that's already stripped out of the market from college teams and universities to other pro leagues. Yep.
I mean, I would assume the New Zealand breakers have some type of trademark. Yeah, definitely.
So you can't do breakers. Big time.
Yeah. Yeah.
Big time. Yeah.
You can't do that. Well, no.
Whipsnakes actually sounds like a New Zealand name. The Whipsnakes.
Wait. So Whipsnakes, Chaos, At-Li.
Archers. Archers.
Chrome, Chaos. Wait.
Chaos is part of it. Chaos is a team.
Yeah. In the Premier League.
Yes. Correct.
Got it. Okay.
Yeah. So I have a Chaos shirt too.
I like the Chaos, yeah. All right.
So does Erica. So here we go.
No one likes Atlas. Yeah, so Erica's actually on the board of directors.
I think I'm going to negotiate a trade over to Chaos for myself. Can you just do that yourself? Yeah.
So can we own one of these teams? That's the most important question. Because if we own a team, then we'll care.
Yeah. It doesn't even have to be real ownership.
Yeah, the real question is can we say that we own a team? We can figure that out.

Okay.

I'd like to discuss that.

Yes.

I have no problem with lying.

You have to do it on the podcast.

Like right now.

We have to do all negotiations.

So I'd like to also put on the table having you guys call a quarter on NBC.

Live.

Okay, yeah.

For one of the games.

I can use my immense lacrosse knowledge.

It's not ESPN.

Okay.

And the distribution for the NBC main broadcast is $114 million. We're in.
Dollars? Homes. Oh, shit.
Yeah. Okay.
So you're in. Yes.
In for calling a game as long as it's got to be close. I don't want to travel.
So, yeah. I don't want to waste energy on lacrosse.
Is it a problem? Can we make the game in the barstool offices? Is it a problem for us having money on the game openly, as we're called? No, not a problem at all. Okay, good.
We can make that rule now. Will there be gambling on it? We're working on it.
Okay, that's big. It's huge.
So part of the problem is professional lacrosse has existed for 18 years, but it hasn't really been professionalized, and that even accounts for stat keeping. So when we approach MGM and a lot of the casinos and then draft kings and fan duel their odds makers are looking at all the data and they're like well this ground ball is miscapped this assist is miscapped so we've got to develop a year's worth of stats before we get one of those partners to come in and gamify it okay but we will uh you're thinking about it yeah all right so we're 100 in all right so it doesn't win if we don't have sports yeah absolutely so i want to veer a little off here from from the league right now i want to do a little bit about your like career in lacrosse so that people are familiar so you when did you start playing lacrosse when i was 12 and did you play other sports yes okay what was your best second sport uh i actually sucked at lacrosse for most of the early years.
I hated it, and I wanted to quit. And my mom would drive me to practice.
This is back when you would practice once a week and play on a weekend. I didn't play club sports.
So I played basketball and soccer, and we're better at those, I thought. This was pre-MLS, so I didn't really have much to look up to for MLS.
And then I figured out pretty quickly I wasn't going to play in the NBA and then when I was in ninth grade I just started like things started clicking on the field in lacrosse so I just dropped everything else right okay so you you play you start getting good at ninth grade you go to college now when you are in college and you're dominating and you're winning national titles what is like the conversation I'm always curious about this what's the conversation with all the guys on the team about like can we continue our career where does this go or do we just go get a job like everyone else it's usually go get a job like everyone else okay there was a there was a league that we it's called mll so we actually tried to buy the mll with our capital partners and so uh turning groups an investor. You guys know pete and then erica's an advisor you go with pete pd well i wouldn't do that i i don't okay uh but it's a good call yeah do not repeat can we cut that part out of the show so so so it used to be there used to be a different league we tried to buy them they said you time, right? Yes, I played in it for 10 years.
But to your question, when I graduated from Hopkins, I took a job in real estate because my rookie wage in that league was $6,000. Wow.
I lived in my parents' house. For how many games? I have a Facebook page.
How many games did I live in my parents' house? No, no. How many games were you getting paid $6,000 for? Oh, for the season.
So how many games in a season? i then it was uh it was 12 games in a season and what'd you max out at what was your best salary playing lacrosse professional the maximum salary last year was 16 000 jesus okay not okay so we're still you are really like building something from the ground up here so i was in i was in real estate and then i got my first endorsement back in 2009 with Under Armour and then Red Bull.

And I was building like a social media profile.

And so I was connecting with a lacrosse audience because none of it was ever on television outside of the College Final Four, which you guys saw.

And then I left my job in real estate because I looked at that.

It was like basically $20,000 combined in sponsorship revenue.

So I got a place in Baltimore, split it with three buddies, and then I just started trying to figure out pro lacrosse. Okay.
And Belichick, is he a mentor of yours or just a friend, or how does that work? He grew up playing lacrosse in Annapolis, and he used to come to Hopkins practices. And at one point, he actually guest coached, which was pretty fucking cool.
That's awesome. So, you know, because you'll see people come to practices in all leagues.
How do you cheat in lacrosse? How did he try to do that? How did he try to cheat? Yeah. I don't know.
You can't deflate the balls in lacrosse. No, no.
That's why I got out. We're both Skins fans, though.
Okay, yeah. Yeah, in theory.
Not really a Dan Snyder fan. Not a huge huge snyder fan no but i like the team yeah once they get good again i'll be i love the gibbs era yeah gibbs era did you ever go to rfk of course see the stadium the stands bouncing dude art monk gary clark yeah those guys mark rippon ernest beiner yeah ripping back in 91 yeah we can talk about skins all day back in good fun teams.
Good, fun teams to root for. So wait, so Belichick came down, he coached the game.
So he comes to a practice, and then we go to the locker room, and we thought he was going to be like, hey, guys, keep up the good work. And he looked at us, and he goes, you guys are fucking Division I athletes, right? And we were like, yeah.
And he was like, then pass and catch the fucking ball. He was like, Jesus Christ, I've been playing this game, uh, my half of my life at least.
And I haven't touched a stick in, in 20 years and I can catch and throw better than you guys. And I remember we were like, all right, that's awesome.
Yeah. Yeah.
We were kind of pumped because we just got a pep talk from Bill Belichick. Um, and then when I graduated, he, uh, we just stayed in touch.
Um, at. At one point, I considered trying to do what Chris Hogan did.
Yeah. You guys know Chris Hogan played lacrosse.
That was one of my questions. How much does a guy like Chris Hogan help lacrosse? Oh, in a huge way.
Yeah. Yeah.
So he's a couple years younger than me, and he basically did what I wanted to do or considered doing and probably wouldn't have been able to do it because he stuck it out. But yeah, it's good because it shows the caliber of athlete that our sport has.
Absolutely. We have a guy like Miles Jones who consistently gets offers to come out to OTAs from NFL teams.
Tim Semish, who played three years in the NFL, he tried out at our training camp last week. So there's a lot of athletes.
Patrick Kearney grew up playing lacrosse. He loves it.
Yeah. It's got to be tough.
Callum Robinson. Yeah.
Another great stud. Hank's just reading off his phone.
Got his phone out, yeah. All right.
We were talking about it before the show. Was it hard to stay in elite shape as you do have a day job? Most of these guys in the league have day jobs.
How often do you practice when you're with Major League Lacrosse? Yeah, you practice once or twice a week. as you're you know you do have a day job most of these guys in the league have day jobs how often do you practice when you're when you're with major league lacrosse yeah you practice once or twice a week so you're pretty much on your own but honestly when you look at even the NFL they've limited hitting so much that uh getting in shape is primarily offseason preseason and then you just kind of stay in shape or you know when you go into practices you're watching film and doing walkthroughs maybe some skeleton work but the actual you know the actual hitting and and team practices i mean the nba is just as walkthroughs baseball just as batting practice so right i think it's the allure of it though i mean you've got to be together right yeah for the fans to buy in yeah so all right so you you're in the league uh it's obviously not paying like huge bucks like every other league at what point were you like you know what i want to start my own league like when did that kind of switch the light bulb switch on so that conversation uh started in 2000 probably 16 but it was primarily around like hey maybe we should buy a team let's look at what an ownership position would look like in the MLL.
And then the more we looked at that, we realized that you're pretty handcuffed in that regard for a number of reasons. So then we switched over to potentially purchasing the league.
And my brother, who had spent most of his time in San Francisco as an entrepreneur, he had just coincidentally left his latest job. So we put our heads together and we're like, let's give this thing a run.
But you never know you're going to do it until you actually raise the capital right so it's all conceptual right in conversations and and then uh end of 2017 it became real and then we started having conversations with players under nda and it became like a pretty groundswell moment and then the rest of the community uh remained quiet about it where it was like it was like the the worst kept secret in lacrosse for all of 2018 but we were all still playing in mll at that time and uh i think a lot of the ownership groups in ml that knew when we walked away from or they walked away from a deal opportunity in 2017 that we were going to try to build one but they were just like good luck it's really hard right yeah that's a power move though to start your own league and immediately try to purchase your former league yeah right off the bat that's a flex i get it is what were they like were they like a little bit insulted that you immediately said that like we want to take over your league yeah they were and i understand why because there's like a couple of players uh my brother didn't play play, but he's still 35 years old. And we walk into a room with guys who have been trying to figure it out for 18 years.
So we were really sensitive around that. And we had great investors that we disclosed after we announced, too.
So it wasn't like, hey, Mike and I got this thing figured out. Get out of the way.
Thanks. But I'm sure that there were some of them that probably interpreted it that way.
But the reality is a non-competitive market would make it a lot easier than even us playing this weekend and MLL having games because they're still around. Right.
Even though we have 160 players. So this is crazy.
This has been basically a three-year process leading up to – I think we're going to run this next week. So where's next week's? New York.
New York.ork red bull arena great so uh if you listen to this right now they're gonna have the red bull arena uh for the weekend you can come out you can boo paul rabel if he doesn't score for the chaos no the atli but i might be on chaos yeah that's true you might we might get a trade there yeah so i mean that's crazy i mean it's hats off to you man because like that's a that's big risk that you took. And this is all kind of leading up to this moment where everything is coming out and it's like this is the new league.
Yeah. It is very risky, but when you get all the best players to come and then you have investors that back you, just operating this thing is really fucking hard.
Because you're running a media business. You're running a sponsorship business, you're running a ticket business, a merchandise business and a youth business all at once.
So we have now 35 full-time employees, but 50 people working in the org and it's just like every day is a grind. So, I mean, we're, we were launching this weekend in Boston and we'll be in New York, like you said, but, um, and we have, you know, great capital behind us, you know, but it's just, you know, it's, it's a lift.
So what's the biggest metric that you guys are going to be watching to know? Because we've seen with, you know, whether it's the AAF or other leagues that have started recently, it's like, okay, there are certain things that are more important to them than others in terms of like long-term viability for the league. So are you going to be paying closer attention to ticket sales, ratings, merch sales? Twitter.
Twitter, yeah. Whether or not me and Big Cat tweet about it.
Should have bought us as influencers. Easily, we will easily be sellouts for that.
Was that Hank? Yeah. I didn't say anything.
Okay. Yeah, Hank does have the keys to the part of my take account.
Oh, Jesus Christ. If you see many lacrosse tweets, it's probably definitely him.
Yeah. which one of those things are more most important to you as you're like kind of taking the temperature of the league yeah and seeing how healthy it is yeah so AAF as you guys probably know we're like underground building a technology business for sports betting yeah and they got out of the gates earlier than they would have liked because of the XFL so they wanted to beat them to the punch the punch for off-season football.
And that was risky by them. But they were building a gambling business.
We're building a sports league that's generating enterprise value around revenue from sponsorship and tickets. But we measure our success by media.
So viewership across NBC, engagement across our social, what we're doing across digital, how we're activating through our players. So single entity is what the tour-based model is, but it also gets us as close to possible as like the UFC, which we follow them over the last 15 years.
And they built it in a linear decade too, before social came out, but they got behind their players and they told their stories. So it's definitely, and our investors know this, I mean, it's a 10-year build to try and get there.
And I think one of our biggest obstacles, it isn't tied to revenue. It's kind of appeal for lacrosse, which has put itself in the gutter for a number of reasons over the last decade or so.
There's just stereotypes.

Yeah, the stereotypes. Yeah, the Chad and Brad's.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just – it's –

Lax pros, yeah.

Totally.

It's tough to shake.

Or you could just totally turn into the skid and just rename everybody on each team

and call them all like Brantleys.

Make it a safe space for like white dudes.

We talked about – I guess I think that's what Goff does, right?

I mean they've like basically embraced being in that space right sans tiger woods right right who um and and brooks kepka's interview was awesome uh but don't pander to us well kind of pandering to him yeah i guess that's true we did the interview yeah you did the interview don't pander to us but i mean it's an easy if It're looking it would have been easier but what we're trying to do is like basically unchain our athletes because they've been groomed almost like college coaches are in all sports to give this political interview after games to tell how great their opponents are to be buttoned up and wear a polo shirt and like all this other shit that that isn't pro sports yeah so by getting them mic'd up getting cameras in their face, encouraging them to talk shit about their opponents, that's what the UFC's done. That's huge.
And that's what we're doing. Show some personalities.
One free idea. So we actually come in with the dumbest ideas that might actually work.
If you just release a hypothetical lineup from one of your teams and they're all like Preston Brantley IV and have them say names, that goes you're like actually those aren't the real names here's the real rosters that would have been so good yeah you can still do that yeah that you should we could do that for all-star yeah yeah and have it be like each team like Duke Virginia Duke Virginia yeah yeah what do you I heard you guys talking about the rules yeah so yeah to go yeah so that's a big question I had for you. It's like what is the basic understanding of lacrosse and how it's played that the general populace doesn't understand that you're trying to break through? Well, it's complicated.
It's a lot like hockey in these random two-line calls and offsides, and it's tough to track the ball or the puck during the broadcast. So we looked at innovation on the broadcast, and then we looked at basically creating this like lacrosse for dummies essentially.
Right. So you have two goals.
You have a ball. You know as a viewer that one team's got to put the ball in the net more times than the other.
Oh, you're really doing the dummy thing. Yeah.
Okay, got it. Well, that's where we started.
And then we were like, okay, why is a hole different than a cross check, different than a cross hole, different than a trip? So we were like, just call it illegal body checks. Why previously, I DM'd you this, why previously do fights take place and there are ejections, but there's fights in the NHL and the NOL? Let's allow fighting.
So there's fighting? There's fighting. Oh, yes.
You should have started the interview with that. There's fighting.
We're lacrosse, but with fighting. Yeah, yeah.
So there's fighting. Do you think people are going to test you? It's mechanical, though.
I'll say equipment can't come off. Okay.
Yeah, that's good. You think you're going to get tested? Probably, but we have some tough guys on our team.

Are you ready to fight?

I fought in the indoor game that I played professionally for a little bit,

and it was probably like 50-50.

Okay, because you got to fight like week one to get out there.

You know that, right?

For the health of the league, you have to fight.

Yeah, it's probably a good idea. It is? Yeah.
All right. I also wrote down for a dumb idea.
Have you ever had like a dick pic leaked? I haven't. Okay, you should do that.
It's like people will be like, Paul Rabel who? Oh, the dick guy. Yeah, the dick guy.
Lacrosse dick guy. Every league has to have a dick guy.
Yeah, like Draymond Green kind of got through it. Yeah, there's several in football.
Yeah, but the problem is I'm also the co-founder, so it could go south pretty quickly. No, that's good.
That's even more publicity. Yeah.
Like co-founder and player. Right.
And people are like, player and co-founder? What the hell? Yeah. Dick gets people talking.
That's a fact. So we have a shot clock.
The college game's a mess. There's 80 seconds.
Yeah, what is that? It's like, why even have a shot clock? Yes. It's wild.
I didn't even know. Is that a new yes and that's fast how new a year okay because i knew that when i turned it on on on monday memorial day i was like what there's a shot clock yeah so you guys have a shot shot clock it's 52 seconds that's random it's yeah but i like that yeah that's what we went for okay yeah the old 52 clock yeah yeah completely you know non-data driven just throw out a out a shot clock number.
Now what counts as a shot though? Because do you have to hit something? On net or you hit the goalie. Those are probably the craziest players in the game is these guys stand in with just a simple chest protector and sweatpants.
We love that they wear sweatpants. That's a cool thing.
You like that? Yeah, it's relatable. Let's mandate it.
What am I wearing right now? Call bloggers. Always have to wear sweatpants.
Call bloggers and just have them be in sweatpants in the goal. I've got two rules here.
One, it's kind of like the puck track, but just make sure that the balls are neon yellow. That's exactly what we're doing.
Boom. Okay.
Love it. We took it right from tennis.
Okay. Perfect.
Well, you actually took it from PFT. Yeah, you took it from me.
He had the idea. By the way, what color do you think tennis balls are? Optic yellow.
Okay, there you go. Finally, we solved the riddles.
Got all the right answers. You did? Also, I don't know if there's a way to figure out that Pantone.
It was damn near impossible to find. Oh, you got to get Ravel to tweet it.
Uh-huh, the Pantone. The Pantone.
That will be big. I'm telling you, that will be big.
So, I don't know if it's possible to do with the live games, but I know you can with replays, so maybe look at the lives. Make it like a video game where the

player that has the ball has a little

circle around them as they're running, like on the

ground. You know how in Madden, when the running back

has the ball? The NHL did that during the All-Star Games. Did you like

it? I didn't see that. Yeah, but all

I know is that when I've watched lacrosse on TV,

it's very tough to tell who

has the ball because you can't see it when it's in

the twig or whatever. What do you call it?

The berry. They used to call it the cross.
twig or whatever. What do you call it? The stick.
The berry.

They used to call it the cross.

The cross?

Yeah.

What's the pouch called?

A netting.

Netting.

Or a pocket.

The pocket.

Yeah, actually, I don't know why I said netting.

Every lacrosse player listening is going to be like,

what the fuck is he talking about? A netting.

It's like a swimsuit.

When I first signed with Red Bull a while ago,

they weren't in team sports much.

And once we did the deal, they were like, okay know give your helmet to us so we can paint it and i was like well you can't because we're a team and i have to wear my team logos and they were like that might be a deal breaker man i was like wait what's going on they're like and they had to figure it out they were just not not in team sports much. They just thought you could give you like a goalie mask? Yeah, like I just run around.
Yeah, but so we're actually – we're exploring painting our goalie helmets like hockey. Nice.
We have a two-point arc. All right.
That's my other idea. Just make goals worth more than one point.
Yeah. Yeah, so it's 15 yards.
Okay. It's kind of like a three-point arc.
What about the dive? Dive's allowed so guys can dive in the crease and score. They go airborne.
Crease dive. What about, when are you allowed to hit in lacrosse? At any moment when the ball is either loose and you're near the ball or someone has the ball and you can hit him as a defender.
So you can just run up and just smoke someone with the ball? Yeah. I mean, you can't take someone's head off.
Can you do that in college or no they're they they call it tighter okay we did this thing with uh john brankis down at img who's the sports science guy and uh he did four episodes trying to decode a lot of the science behind lacrosse because a lot of people just don't know so one of the things that we measured was amount of force per pound of square inch or per square inch of force that a defender gives when he checks a forearm and one of these defenders we have his name is tucker durkin he cut through four karate boards he went to virginia he went to john's hoppy but this guy looks like luke keekly okay exactly like lukely. And anyway, cut through four karate boards.
Holy shit. And it was pretty intense, yeah.
I'll show you guys the video, actually, of at some point what he did to – because we had a player stand in and just stand like a statue and soak one from Tucker. Soak one.
That was badass. It wasn't good.
Yeah. That was a hockey term.
You have to be a psycho to volunteer for that job. Be like, come on, soak me.
Soak me good. Is it going to be more of a run and gun league or up and out? Yeah.
I think that's the same thing. Oh, so yes.
Yeah, run and gun. And so what we've done is actually took 10 yards out of the middle of the field so guys can go from one end to the other quicker because the field's just so big get up and out oh yeah exactly i like that can i ask one more question yeah sure who's got the best fogo in the league what is fogo the atli for sure what's fogo face off get off yeah thank Come on, guys.
Okay. So we have Trevor Baptiste, and he's a beast.
Okay.

And so he was a face-off guy for Team USA. Got it.
And I may or may not have had something to do with him being on my team. Being on your team.
Nice. Stack your team.
So give us some lacrosse lingo. I would say you guys probably know it, having listened to your show a bunch more than me, but lettuce.
Yeah. I'll talk a little bit of technique.
You have a cradle. You have a whip.
You have a crank shot. You have.
What's the difference between lettuce and flow? They're pretty similar. Okay.
Just hairstyles. Just like Minnesota hockey hair.
Yeah. That's right.
You can have short hair but have flow. The lettuce, I feel like it's going to go out of the helmet.
Are you lettuce-plaining to Paul? Yeah. To you.
You asked the question, right? So Paul has flow but not lettuce. Yeah.
I used to have long hair. Okay.
I did everything I could to try to get myself in the sport out there when I was younger. I was a sellout.
Really? Yeah. Like a total lacrosse? No, I didn't go into the vernacular as much, but I was building a YouTube channel and posting on social media, and I still post a lot, but I was posting all the time just because I sensed that, one, it never existed before, like communication from pro to fans.
And then a lot of athletes have narcissism in them. Yeah.
But I was indexing there hard. And then I know you guys have a small feud with Dude Perfect.
Yeah. Oh, you did? I did.
Dude, the gif that you posted on Twitter was of me hitting that watermelon. That was the Dude Perfect.
I delete it no please you like the dude perfect guys i did i did an edit with them this interview's over who's your favorite but it got me toby big cat i was i was leading into it because uh i had 27 million views on that yeah and that that's still the largest video so uh but this is now the largest show every every time we do something new it seems like after this league uh it's like the sport had never had a chance to even be on pmt no definitely are you guys don't delete that tweet okay but i i you know i love bro sweet and thank you uh how many many Jeeps have you owned? Jeeps? Yeah. Yeah.
Two. Yeah.
Of course. Is that about standard? You get one of those? I mean, it's comfortable, it's spacious, and it's cheap.
I was making $6,000. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I guess. I've got a fucked up back.
You know, I can't sit in a car. Is true yeah what'd you do l4 l5 l5 s1 fuck that sucks man that's kind of like what i did but not at all obviously you need to capture a new audience but there's already a pretty big audience of people that have played lacrosse that have watched lacrosse that are already fans of the sport but where you draw that line in terms of um like pandering to a brand new audience can sometimes alienate people that already know about the sport.
They're like, I know what a goal is. You don't have to explain it to me.
Like how have you decided where to put that line? Yeah, we're a little bit split there. So we're going to figure it out in week one because we have Brendan Burke who does the Islanders games.
He's our play-by-play. Paul Burmeister does the Olympics for NBC.
And then Ryan Boyle is like our tony romo uh he's like all-time lacrosse player never won a championship he won oh good call yeah yeah just gotta not a tony romo in that regard yeah yeah but they uh they'll probably do some type of education during the broadcast but a lot of our fans do get pissed about that yeah because the the college commentators do that a little bit during the final four, and I always see tweets going out and be like, hey, we know what just took place. We know that the ball went out of bounds and the other team gets it.
Right. There's also a little bit of fun watching a new sport and figuring out some of the stuff.
Like when you have that aha moment, oh, this is why this guy has the ball right now, or this is why there's a face-off, that sort of thing. If you figure out out while you're watching it obviously you need to educate people a little bit about some things um through my experience as a rugby fan so when it's the world cup on tv for me to understand or yeah or if it's you know uh the college rugby championship or whatever it is that that is on tv for a wide audience what i don't like is when they say oh this is like a jump ball in basketball When they relate it too much to another sport that they assume that I already know about.
It just sounds thirsty. It does sound a little bit thirsty.
If you do it too much. I think it's important to do that a little bit because you do have to like – our knowledge base is based on the major four sports.
So when people do say little things like that, it does help understand it a little like offsides and you just explaining how you explaining how you can hit at any time right like i didn't know that um but scrap the john brankis piece where we're gonna yeah yeah so yeah all that money down yeah yeah um all right i have i have one last question uh it's a seiki question go to a premier lacrosse league uh tournament or game game yeah not a tournament game on one of the given weekends new york is the one coming up this weekend as it airs. Put in promo code take.
You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase. So my last question is how much cash do you have on you right now? Good question.
Probably 17 bucks. That's it? That's it.
What about what about Brett? How much how much cash does he have on him? Zero? Well. Everything on credit.

I was going to offer a tweet from PFT and myself on the first weekend for the right amount of cash.

17, not the right amount of cash.

I'll go to the ATM.

No, no, no.

I'll like a tweet.

Yeah.

I'll like a tweet for $5.

You'll like a tweet for $5?

Yeah.

What if I.

Just as good as a retweet. Mm-hmm.
There's a new algorithm. What if...
We're going to... So we're going to try to line you guys up to call a quarter.
You guys really want to do that? Yes. That'll be awesome.
Yes. Yeah.
That'll be a lot of fun. Yes.
People will hate us. You know who's really going to dislike it? Who? ESPN.
Oh, yeah. Because you'll be on NBC.
No, but everyone's going to hate us. Everyone's.
I don't think so. It doesn't seem like people hate you.
Because we don't know the rules, though. I'm saying, like, hardcore lacrosse fans.
Which is great. Yeah.
That will be the part. Like, I think a lot of people will tune in and like it, but I think there will be some hardcore lacrosse fans that will be like, fuck these guys.
Because we will probably make fun of lacrosse. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. Maybe.
For sure. Maybe.
I don get both of you. I was walking in here, and Erica was like, you know, the sport of the future thing is kind of tongue-in-cheek.
And I'm like, yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah.
She's like, Hank left. He literally is so bored with this interview, he walked out.
The biggest lacrosse fan. He literally left five minutes ago.
He's just not here. So way to go, Hank.
I'm excited. I mean, credit to you, man.
It's obviously a little tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, credit to you because this is a hell of a risk and putting it all in here. I'm all in for more sports.
I'm a big believer in more sports is always better. And we think that even with this model that we built, which is different and it's tour-based and it's not an established sport or a core sport like the NFL or the nba but we think this is a launching pad to then going a city-based model so it's not like we're like hey fuck that cities don't matter they do in a major way uh but if you don't have the number of participants and viewers already baked in and you don't have the owners so this tour based model allowed us to get gillette red bull arena and not be stuck to these like local small venues.
It's smart, because AAF came out and was like, I don't care about fucking San Antonio.

Right.

It's just hard.

Right.

You think if you come into New York, all of a sudden, people are going to be supporting

you.

Right.

That's generational.

Yeah.

So is this league more player-friendly, you would say?

Yeah.

Our players have equity.

I like that.

Whoa.

Yep.

I like that a lot.

Okay.

We gave our players increased wages, healthcare as well, and then equity, yeah.

Thank you. More player-friendly, you would say? Yeah.
Our players have equity. I like that.
Whoa. Yep.
I like that a lot. We gave our players increased wages, health care as well, and then equity.

Look at you.

Great boss.

Very cool.

Great boss, and we will tune in at some point.

We're going to call a game.

It's a quarter.

Yes, 100%.

Paul Rabel, everyone tune in.

NBC Sports, Premier Lacrosse League, coming to your TV.

Watch, interact, tweet, and do everything, and listen for us. That interview with Paul Rabel was brought to you by ZipRecruiter.
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Now we've got some special selections from our time spent guest hosting

Kentucky sports radio today,

featuring some of the best callers in the state of Kentucky.

And now for something completely different.

We were talking about ghosts. We were taking calls.
We want to talk to the people of Kentucky, the great people of Kentucky. We love this day every year.
Shannon, do we have more calls? We do. Let's go to DeeDee.
Hey, DeeDee. DeeDee.
Oh, sorry, DeeDee. That's all right.
First, I got a comment for you. The Calipari ladies, I give it up to them.
But now you haven't heard redneck sassy before. So you need to come to the eastern part of the state to hear that.
That's redneck sassy. Yeah.
Huh? Redneck sassy? Hell yeah. Oh, sorry.
No, you can say hell. That's good.
H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. Yeah, yeah.
Damn. Okay.
Second, I got a ghost story for you. Okay.
My family has owned this hauler for years and years, and there is a cemetery at the beginning. When they put the new road in, there's a major battlefield just like a mile up the road.
They used part of that hill during the Civil War. There are several unmarked graves and even Indian burial graves up there.
And when they put the new road in, they moved the cemetery, but not all of the graves correctly and the soldiers. so it's we think for years we've seen soldiers from time to time and different weird things have happened.
So when they went to put a plot up on back from the graveyard about a quarter mile maybe to make a house seat, well, it was my grandfather. About a few months later, he got killed in a gunfight.
So it went to my uncle. Five years later, he was in a gunfight and had a car wreck, and he got killed.
So then it went to his boys. Well, they turned out having the worst luck ever.
My one cousin caught his wife cheating on him. It was awful.
So now, then my mom bought it. Well, she had a booming business.
And probably like eight, ten years later, it burned to the ground. Whoa.
So everyone that's lived up there has – and there's a lady in a white dress that's also been seen on the house seat. And strange things do happen in the house, like chairs moving every so often or, you know, just unexplained noises and things happening.
I believe you when you say all this stuff, especially when you toss in the Indian burial ground. That's a real wild card one because, I mean, all you have to do, just look at FedEx Field and the Redskins' history of quarterbacks.
There's a lot of bad, grisly injuries that can happen on a place like place like that now when it comes to this uh specific location if you own property that a graveyard is on do you actually own the dead bodies too is that like a toss like we're going to throw these in um i really don't know the answer to that but i know that there have been people that have passed away my My grandma has rental properties, too, at the mouth of the hauler.

And when there have been people that pass away that don't have family or nothing, she'll

let them be buried up there, you know, just out of respect for them.

And, you know, the county or whatever usually pays for it or does it.

And then, but a lot of the graves, we've had to run a few people off treasure hunters.

Oh, yeah, we tried. you know uh shales from the civil war and trees and stuff that we've collected over the years but yeah we try to you know keep you know trespassers off of it except for people that have family up there because we want it respected but my understanding is when they put that new road in they did not respect the civil war soldiers that buried up there.
They're supposedly buried all of them on top of each other in one spot. Dang.
Edie, I have a couple questions for you, quick questions. One, what is a holler? A holler? A lot of people call it a hollow, but around here it's a holler.
It is basically a valley in between two, most people call it mountains, that ain't from around here, but they're actually hills because they aren't tall enough to be mountains. Got it.
And there's usually a creek in it somewhere. A creek.
Okay, so number two, who owns the holler now? My granny and my mom and my uncle. how's me i guess oh wait whoa you own it so we're talking to you right now i have a piece of property on it but i live on i live down in the valley i'm i wouldn't move up to my mama's house for nothing so and it's a huge house so who right now do you think might be cursed my mom because not about six eight years or something like that after getting her house built and but she which she had financial problems with the house being built but once they got it built moved in there it was wasn't a few years later, and their business burned to the ground.

You know?

Yeah.

And plus, and my house also burnt like two years before that.

Sheesh.

All right.

So my last question was, you mentioned the gunfights.

Is that like a duel?

Are we talking about a duel?

What happened with the gunfights?

Okay.

Well, my family fought for years with another local family that I won't mention. But we are related to Gregson, but I'll just throw that in there.
But not on the good side either. My side, the outlaw side.
But my great-grandfather was a sheriff here once. But anyway, so the families, they fought for years.
I can remember bits and pieces of it having to hide at times in the house when the other family called and said they were going to shoot our house up. And so my grandfather and this other man were at an Eagles Club because he was a veteran.
And I think the other gentleman was, too. And they pulled out their guns and uh the guy shot my grandfather and my grandfather shot and killed him whoa so this is like it was like halffield mccoy you you have like a whole thing going with these people do you see when you see one of the family members does it fade on site no not now it's i mean that's been you know when i was i'm talking like when i was i guess in the 80s you know early 80s is when all this was going on it started because a bunch of people caught my uncle out by himself like a like five or six guys and they beat him up so when you beat one of us up or hurt one of us the whole family family gets involved.
Yes. Yeah, now, what's the way to stop that? Yeah, how did it end? Do you get together? Was there, like, a council? Do you do parlay like pirates? No.
It just, if you, they would go to each other's house. They'd fight, argue, beat each other.
And it just kept getting worse and worse. You know, actually, my cousin that got killed with my uncle, he actually spent time in LaGrange for killing the man's son.
Wow. Shooting the man's son over them catching my uncle out by himself.
So it's basically like a little mini war that's been going on in the hills of Kentucky. So do you keep law enforcement out of this? Is this one of those situations where the local sheriff's just like, you know what? She's related to the local sheriff.
Yeah, but is this one of those things where law enforcement's like, hey, they're going to fight and it's best to just stay out of it? No, they used to when I was younger.

But now, like I said, my grandpa's gone, my uncle's gone, you know. So they've calmed down over the years and gotten older.
So, you know, but back in the day, they didn't touch it. They didn't touch us.
My great aunt, which is well known around here, she shot two men like an inch from their you-know-what.

And they wouldn't come over there. I mean, my grandfather was the only one that could do anything with her.
And I'm talking like Marilyn Monroe looking beautiful woman who wore Daisy Dukes and a tank top, like one of them little tiny bikini tops, you know,

with a big .45 or .38 pistol in her pants.

And she blocked everybody coming up and down the holler,

and you had to stop.

And if she didn't like you, she would either tell you to get lost

or she'd shoot you.

Shoot you in the pee-pee.

I would much rather have the tell me to get lost.

Yeah.

So how many pee-pees did she shoot? Huh? How many wee-wees did she shoot? Ding-dong. She was pretty good shoot.
She missed them within a couple inches just so they'd know. They walked around with a lint.
The one man did walk around with a lint for the rest of his life. Yeah.
I was going to say, if it was me, it's a pretty easy time. The whole end of the hall, there's two sides, and the whole end was nothing but, you know, red and blue lights.
They was all afraid to talk to her. Finally, the sheriff came, and he said, no, where'd you shoot him at this time, Nomi? She said, roll him over and pull down his pants, and you'll find out.

Sure enough, they rolled him over, and there it was.

The whole end of the holler?

What is that?

The whole end.

Whole end.

Whole end or whole end?

That's the one Rick Pitino.

The whole end, the entire end.

Oh, the entire end.

The end of the holler.

Yeah.

Both roads.

This holler's so big, it has two sides to it,

and the creek separates the sides. Edie, have you ever shot anybody? I should probably not answer that, boys.
Okay, don't. Do not.
No, I have never shot anybody, but I've been taught to shoot since I was about six, seven years old. Okay.
Well, Edie, thank you for the call. That was a fantastic story.
Appreciate it. That made our day.
Yeah, yeah. That was awesome.
All right, let's go to John Short. John Short.
John S. What's up, John S.? Very much.
Y'all are great Americans. Thank you.
Thanks. Agreed.
75 years ago, Ben. Big time, Sean Handy and Billy Cunningham.
That's where I covered that from. Say that again.
Sorry. I covered it from big time Sean Hannity.
He was off on three to six. I covered that from Billy Cunningham.
Okay. Agreed.
Don't understand what you're saying, but let's keep going. He's a big fan of Sean Hannity.
Oh, Sean Hannity. Got it.
Got it. I would like to retract my agreed.
Yeah. Wow, PFT.
He is P-Left.

Yes, now a mega bro.

Somebody has to be the lib on the show now that Matt Jones has taken his French vacation of five weeks off a year.

Someone has to be a bleeding heart liberal.

So what do you got, John Short?

Okay, I'd say what's more important between millionaires and winning championships is more important than being a millionaire.

So we need, so that's why.

The players are for one and done.

We don't need one and done.

Bonjour, bonjour. championship winning championships is more important than being a millionaire so we need so that's why all the players are for one and done we don't need one does everybody need to come back play for you it's like it used to be so good point yeah so are you saying going with that line of reasoning would you say that coach cow now we're talking about john cow here is he on the hot seat no indeedy no indeedy no indeedy that.
No, indeedy. That's right.
But he hasn't won any NBA rings. John Cowell has not won any NBA rings.
I know. And I know he hasn't.
And also, I want to get a shout-out, too. I want to get a shout-out to somebody.
Get a shout-out to Shelby. All right, Shelby.
Where's Shelby? Where's Shelby at? I don't know. Oh, shit.
Did we lose Shelby? If anybody out there has seen Shelby, we need to track him down. Is it a dog or a human? No.
A human being, yeah. Is it a car? No, not a car.
You're talking about that old school? Is it off of Shelby? Okay. Just want just, just, just.
Tell me, Shelby. Just wanted to give a shout out to you.
That's all. All right.
What does Shelby look like? Like, give us a descriptor so we can try to find Shelby because we don't know where he, is it she or he? It's a she. Okay.
Shelby, if you're listening to this right now, please call in. There are a bunch of people out there that are worried sick about you.
No, call into the show. Yeah, call into the show.
We'll get Shelby on the show and just make sure that she's doing okay. Tell her John Schwartz is giving her a shout-out because there's nothing worse than giving a shout-out and that person never finding out that they got shouted out.
Hockey is on. And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the city no matter the team no matter the game whether it's face-off or penalty shots regular season or playoffs win or lose no matter what happens no matter where it happens New Amsterdam V vodka is there.
Okay, so we're back. Segments and the Bruins have just scored.
They made it a 2-1 game. That penalty was called, Hank, but obviously they scored right away.
Oh, let's go. Is that an in-one or no? Bruins goal, his fourth of the postseason, number 74, Jake DeBrusque.
DeBrusque goal at 13-32. Okay, thank you.
That's PMT Sportsman's Jake Marsh, our in-game arena announcer. Fantastic job.
No, it's not an and-one, Hank, but they did call it. I know you saw that.
There should be an and-one in football and in hockey. Well, I mean, whenever there's a penalty like that, the goalie comes out so they can play with an odd man while the ref has his hand up.
You know what? Mike Greenberg's dumb rule for right now off the top of my head. Yeah.
If a wide receiver catches a touchdown on a pass interference, the extra point should be worth too. Yeah, I like that a lot.
I like that a lot. All right, so let's get to some segments.

This is going to be an insane end of the game,

and you're going to get to watch it with us.

So you're going to get to relive it.

If you're a Blues fan, you're going to love this.

If they win, if you're a Bruins fan, you're going to hate this if they lose.

But it's going to be an electric end to the game here.

It goes to overtime.

It's going to be very mysterious.

It's going to be very mysterious.

You'll have to tune in to Monday's show to find out who won this game

and game six. Segments, thoughts and prayers levy on bell yeah so he got 500 000 bucks worth of jewelry stolen by two of his girlfriends so they teamed up together kind of an oceans two type deal that's and they were they waited till he left and they just ransacked his house and he knows exactly who who it was, I guess.
But they got away. They haven't been caught yet.
Right. So, and I feel like when you have, if you have two girlfriends, or if you're a woman and you have two boyfriends, eventually they're going to team up and rob you of all your jewelry.
Well, either that or they're going to go after each other. So they kind of, I like to think it happened like you see in a lot of movies where they got real mad at each other and started swinging.

And then they accidentally knocked over a framed picture of Le'Veon. And they both looked at it, looked at each other, and they're like, we shouldn't be fighting.
We're on the same team. Or they knocked over a framed picture of Le'Veon, and it split open, and it was just like cash underneath, hid behind the frame.
Yeah. Like, whoa.
Exactly. Let's take it all.
You need to take all this stuff. Let's take it all.
I actually have a theory that if you own $500,000 worth of any product, people should be allowed to steal it if they can get their hands on it. What if you own $500,000 worth of cash? No, that's different.
Okay. She said any product.
But any singular product. Okay.
You should be like, for example, like- $500,000- Dwight Howard's snakes. $500,000 worth of cancer medication.
Yeah. That's fucked up, man.
Nobody needs that much. That's fucked up.
It's Martin Shkreli. That's fucked up.
So, like, with Russell Wilson... That's one pill he's got.
You could steal Air Monarchs from Russell Wilson. All $500,000.
$500,000 worth. Or penicillin from Jimmy Garoppolo.
Yeah. He's going to need that.

All right.

So we have a respect the biz, and that's about the Stanley Cup finals.

Zidane O'Chara has a broken jaw.

He can't speak, and he still met with the press

and answered questions by writing down his answers.

Class act.

That's a way to go.

That might be my sports. Sports person of the year? Sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp Springsteen along with Pierre Maguire.
Yeah, and a six-pack of Allagash White. Yep, congratulations, Zidano.
Lukewarm. No, that's nice.
It's like that book, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, basically, what he did, where you just blink out your answers in Morse code. That's what a real hockey guy would do.
It was great. It was great that he did that.
Oh, I had a We Read a headline. This one is Mickelson Aces Jim Nance's Backyard Hole.
That was a headline from the Golf Duchess. That's a pretty good headline.
Mickelson Aces Jim Nance's Backyard Hole. Those two would have some sloppy sex.
That is a headline. Phil Mickelson has sloppy sex.
Phil Mickelson strikes me as a guy that spits directly onto his own dick a lot during sex. He's like, look at this, baby.

Just takes it out and not on his hand.

Just pulls it out and just goes.

This is going to be like, let's it go halfway down and sucks it back up.

Yeah, the Skittles spit.

He does the Skittles spit.

He's just like, look at this.

What was that movie, Adam Sandler, Big Daddy?

Yeah.

He's like, I got two ribs removed so I can titty fuck myself.

Check this, babe.

Spits all over his dick.

This is like a porn.

You know what I'm going to do?

I feel like I should.

It's been a pet passion project of mine that I've had on the back burner for a while that I've not got around to doing.

I need to write just fan fiction, just like steamy, erotic fan fiction, just about all sorts of athletes trying to have sex no you don't i thought you're gonna say skip steven a yeah you don't have to do that i did write that you don't have to do that no i think be funny i don't know if you have to do that like right okay you tell me that you would not jerk off you would not read a novella about phil mickelson having sex no venus williams yeah i think we got i we just... Phil Mickelson spitting on his dick jokes.
I think we just reached the capacity. Okay, not Phil Mickelson then.
Aaron Hernandez. I'm going to say Colin Montgomery having sex with Mia Hamm.
Andy Reid having sex with... His wife.
A ham. Just his wife.
No, a ham. Just fucking a ham.
Just a big ham. Just a nice, juicy ham.
Named Mia Ham. Yes.
Exactly. He names it Mia Ham.
Yeah, he names it Mia Ham. Exactly.
Yeah. Okay.
I can see where that would work. That'll come out next month.
Do we have any other segments? We're going to do something with Paul Pierce. PR 101.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I think we just need to poop talk about paul pierce uh i actually don't really buy it uh i don't buy it either i think he admitted as much that he was just using it kind of to get a headline as a joke and listen paul as someone who has hanked himself in the last eight months yeah my culture is not your costume well i was gonna say i i and look i i don want to take too much credit, but I feel like I've been on this.
I've been campaigning for this for like five, six years now that we need to de-stigmatize pooping your pants. And, uh, ever since I got caught pooping my pants at a Chicago dog park and then a stool he asked me for a picture.
So I think Paul Pierce has just waited till it's been like the tide has turned on it and he he's like now it's safe to say this so he's doing it he's kind of a coward and he's not only a coward but he's doing it and i think i don't think he actually had to poop his pants i think he just thought he was really really injured and he knows that if he says this now people will be like that's funny dude it's cool now he's using pooping pants as a cover for it's like me i have broken rib. If I say that it feels like I have stabbing pains in my ribs, that's disrespectful to Paul Pierce who actually had to deal with it.
Damn, that was close to a goal. Yeah, so I just don't buy it.
I mean, I've been out on the front lines for a very long time talking about how it's not a big deal, and I feel like he's just... Johnny come lately.
I don't appreciate that.

Now people are...

People laughed at me when I said that I did this regularly.

You should have said it in real time if you wanted the credit.

Well, no.

I'm just saying, like, I did, you know.

Oh!

Oh!

I've been doing...

There's two minutes left.

So I think we'll just watch the last two minutes,

and then we'll get the license to Jill.

Cut out all the times that we don't talk.

I don't know.

This is terrible radio. Okay, that's's it looks like the game's over bruins fans are fighting each other in the stands holy shit that was sweaters are getting tugged off left and right insane ending of the game hate to see this a game like this tear the city of boston apart insane final score blues 2 bruins Fans, we hope to see you back at TD Garden on Wednesday, June 12th for a potential Game 7.
Please drive home safely. Okay, that was in-game arena announcer Jake Marsh, PMT Sports Biz.
So now the cup is in the building for the Blues. That's insane.
Insane. The cup has never been to St.
Louis. The cup is in the building for the blues on sunday night so we'll we'll be here we'll do it after the uh that game in case that the blues win the stanley cup final um let's finish up the show with our 69 year young you like how i did that that's good you guys say that that way 69 that fucking kid is so funny.
A spring chicken. There was a Fruits fan with just holding the most still and stoic middle finger as all the blues walked off the bench.
That was fucking awesome. That was fucking.
That kid's about to go so viral. All right.
Here she is. Chili football.
Okay. We're going to wrap up our Friday show introducing our newest intern.
We told you about Jake Marsh on Wednesday. We also have Jack, who's behind the scenes.
And to finish the big three, we have Jill. 69-year-old Jill.
Jilly football. Jilly football.
You probably remember her from her resume. She said that she's stronger than she looks.
She's great at laughing at jokes. She is not easily offended.
Not easily offended. Well versed in New York City.
And recovering from shoulder injury. But doing really well in physical therapy.
We talked to your doctor. They said you were doing great.
Good to hear. Okay.
So Jilly football is here. We're're gonna do a couple things every friday we're gonna do license to jill where she gets questions from readers from listeners from jillennials from jillennials but we're also going to do a little i'm not mad but i'm disappointed uh recap of the week so jill you listen to monday and wednesday's show sometimes we get a little out hand.
Sometimes we make jokes that probably aren't great. And as our senior correspondent, that's not because of your age.
That's because you have a great resume. Where did we go wrong this week? I have to tell you that I was disappointed.
Not mad. So much worse.
Not mad. No, not mad, not angry.
But I was disappointed that I had nothing to be disappointed in. Oh, come on.
You're too nice. No, I swear.
Except perhaps the only thing. Yep.
The dump lady. Oh, yeah.
The dump lady on Monday. That went on too long.
Now, to be fair, this was a real question. This was a real life scenario that this lady was going through.
And it's our job as podcasters to help people through their issues sometimes. And so she really wanted to know if she should take a shit in front of her boyfriend.
Okay. It just went on too long? It went on too long.
I mean, you know, you know enough is enough we get it she's stupid anyway there was a lot to unpack we get it she just should have taken the crap right okay no i i she should have sent him packing yeah that's true so all right that's good that's good feedback because you know what like that's we we thought it was the right amount but you're right it probably went the dump lady probably went on a little too long sometimes we get carried away with things and so it's always good to have like an outside set of eyes somebody new that doesn't that that doesn't know uh how stupid we are sometimes to tell us like we need an invisible fence like we're dogs that you just let out yeah in an open pasture but we need somebody to zap us back to reality sometimes she's talking jill's talk jilly, Jilly Football's talking about Monday reading the woman who said that her boyfriend wanted her to take a shit in front of him to make sure that they weren't, she wasn't cheating on him. The dump lady.
The dump lady. Because the shit that the lady took was too big and the guy didn't believe that it could come from his girlfriend.
Right. Right, that one? See, we're doing it too much right now.
Yeah, exactly. Okay.
But can something i liked yeah i loved the karaoke thank you oh yeah i thought that was amazing yes you guys have good voices thank you well manny pacquiao does yeah well he does voice of an angel he really got into it i love that i gotta listen to it for longer the trick was when we started singing big cat and i uh we sang very poorly to get started with. And then Manny was like, no, I got this.
And he kind of like pushed us away. And he was like, I want to take it.
He's like, hold up. You guys sit in the back.
I'm going to take the wheel. All right.
So Jilly Football, we're going to do License to Jill. We have questions.
She's getting her phone up. What font do you use? I need an adult need a and i need an adult let's say she lost the password oh i thought that was your password that was it was but that's not my phone oh that's that's why do you have two phones in front of you because i'm very important she's got a burner okay so which one are you gonna read i'm gonna read a beautiful family by the way i do yeah But this one is my darling Jake's phone.
Yeah, Jake Marsh. Jake, we need to unlock it for you.
Okay, here we go. There you go.
Okay, so these are questions that are submitted by you, pardon my take, award-winning listeners. Okay.
Okay, my first question is, Jill, what were you doing in your life when Big Cat and PFT were born? 1985. 1985.
January 30th and 31st. Yeah, and 31st.
Yeah. January 30th and 31st? I'm 30th.
You can probably tell by maturity. I'm 31st.
You can probably tell because I have much more youthful skin. Yes.
So we were born a day apart. It's crazy.
A nicer body. Crazy.
Crazy. So what were you doing? I was living in California.
Ooh. Had two kids and one on the way.
Smoking weed? I had, of course, all the way through my pregnancies, all of them. Talk to the mic, Jill.
Drank. Yeah.
You know, I did it all. Okay.
That's honesty. Spended my growth, but they were okay.
What part of California? Because I remember when you talked to us a couple days ago, you said that you were a flower child. I was, but I was living in Nevada then.
And the summer of 67. Okay.
We drove up to San Francisco. Did the whole Hay to Ashbury.
Wow. Expanded your mind a little bit? Expanded my mind, but I was a naive little girl.
How many Grateful Dead concerts have you been to? None. What? Zero.
Yeah, I think you're a narc. Zero.
No, at the time. You know, you live in Nevada.
You grow up there, and you're closer to Southern California. So what are you interested in? The Beach Boys.
The surfing. The surf zone.
Okay. Were you a surfer? I have surfed.
but i'm not a surfer right okay make sure this doesn't lock i know next one and does jilly football mail birthday cards to family members of course the fuck was that question of course i do yeah i've got a of family, and it's always nice to get a card.

Do you have a calendar that's set up so that you know when you have to send the letters?

Do you have a calendar?

Why would that set up?

It was a ridiculous question because of course she does.

Like, of course she does.

Well, but now we Facebook it.

There's a certain generation that sends cards, yeah.

And now you can Facebook.

But that's not the same.

It's not the same.

It's a much more personal touch.

Yeah.

And no, I don't have a calendar.

Okay.

So you just remember it.

Sometimes I'm late.

Okay.

But I do.

All five of your kids' birthdays, go.

September 28th, April 8th, April 28th, May 2nd, May 9th.

Oh, so you were really getting it down.

What was I doing?

Very busy in the late summer. Got it, Jill.
Really celebrating Labor Day weekend. Indian summer.
Native American summer. Labor Day.
Yeah. Okay, next one.
Okay. Two questions.
First, what are your favorite sports teams? So the AWLs can be prepared for soggy sorrows. Yeah.
Professional or college? Both. Professional football teams would have to be the 49ers.
Okay. And the Seahawks.
Oh, that doesn't really work. That doesn't really work.
They're big rivals. But I still like it.
I still like them. We're going to need you to pick one of the two, though, to be your team.
That must have been a tough NFC. To be my team? Yeah.

I have to be the 49ers.

Okay, you're 49ers.

I was going to say, that's a tough NFC championship game in 2014.

I love Joe Montana.

Okay.

All right.

And college?

Yeah.

Go blue.

Michigan.

Okay.

Good.

We don't have any Big Ten representation.

Yeah.

All right.

That's going to be problematic.

What other teams do you root for?

Any other basketball teams? Oh, basketball team? Yeah. College? Carolina.
Carolina Blue. We've got a little rivalry with Hank over there.
I like that. What the hell is going on right now? So, Jill, Hank is a big Duke fan.
Oh. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
Oh, we're no longer friends. Yes.
That is going to be fun when we have the live watch for Duke UNC next year. I've been trying to get my son tickets to a Duke Carolina game for years.
Got you. I got you.
Okay. I got you.
We'll figure it out later. SeatGeek.
All right. And then any baseball, basketball, NBA, you don't care? Baseball, you don't

care? Oh, I love the Mets.

Oh, okay. There we go.

We got everything. We need

something in Texas, maybe, and Florida.

No Texas. I don't like Texas

teams. Florida, well, I used to like the Marlins.

I used to have

season tickets to the Panthers in Florida.

The hockey team.

Hockey team. Jesus Christ, Jill.
You're all over the place. I love this.
Jill's lived in every corner of the country. Damn.
Okay. All right.
That's great. So when any of those teams lose, we're going to have to douse you in water, and you're going to have to come on the show.
All right. 49ers probably won't lose too many games, though.
You'll be okay. You'll be fine.
Well, and if they lose, they probably lose to Seahawks, so we're really okay. You know what? We'll give you both those teams.
Yeah, you get both. All right, next one.
All right. What's up, Jilly Football? Saw your Twitter cover photo.
It's an X-ray of your shoulder and have a question. Are you hurt or injured? Thoughts and prayers.
Oh, thank you. I got hurt.
I got injured. I fell.
No, there fell no that's a difference one or the other difference so being hurt you can play through it no i was injured okay okay i truly was injured yeah now you said the other day that somebody pushed you over but that was a white lie yeah you just's good. I just fell, and I wasn't drinking.

Oh, okay.

Do you have life alert?

Is that offensive to say?

I don't have life alert, but I probably should.

Okay, there we go.

All right.

But I was outside just walking and tripped on the sidewalk.

And I had had thumb surgery, so I didn't want to put my hand down and hurt my hand,

so I fell on my shoulder. Took the brunt of the force in the shoulder.
But you are crushing your physical therapy. I am.
Yeah, you're killing it. I almost do the homework every day.
Did you walk around with a wrist guard for a long time? I did. I feel like that's a look that older women rock.
Like a prophylactic wrist guard? Yeah, just always got the wrist guard. Like you're going rollerblade or they might have, you know, have carpal tunnel.
I don't know. You know what? Hank

is doing boulders for shoulders this summer. So maybe you and him could get on the same workout.

Yeah. You guys should do some shoulder workouts.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Okay.
Next question.

Oh, what's up, Jilly? AARP work. Oh and no.
It gets you discounts. Okay.
This is how does. Oh, how does AARP work? Oh, I'm sorry.
How does AARP work? Well, you sign up when you're 50 because that's when they consider old. Yep.
And you just go from there and you get little magazines and you get a card and you show it. So you're checking into a hotel and you just flash the card and they're like, here's 20% off.
Correct. We got to get an ARP.
Yes. What else do you get out of it? What's the best discount you got on the ARP? Probably hotel.
Nice. Okay.
So when we book our hotels, we should bring you along. You pay for yourself.
Yeah. Use your card.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Okay. Next.
Okay. Oh, this one's long.
Yeah, this one's long. Okay.
This is the last one. Okay.
What's up, Jill? Especially Julie Football. You seem like you have maternal instincts, so I'll get right to the point.
I live with my girlfriend, and my little sister, who just graduated college, moved into our second bedroom for a month while she finds a place. My girlfriend is pissed off because I don't want to charge my sister rent for living with us.
Good guy move. It's not a big deal.
We're at a standstill and I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend, but I don't want to change my sister's rent.

Or I don't want to charge my sister rent.

Yep.

Please help.

Well, I'm staying with my kids and they're not charging me rent.

Whoa.

What can I say?

Big time move by them.

I think that is a stand-up thing to do.

Family first.

Always family first.

So, yeah, what do you think? Do you think this guy should just tell his girlfriend, like, hey, why don't you buzz off? No, I don't think he should tell her to buzz off. I think he should just say, this is the way it is.
Take a dump in front of me. Yeah, take the dump.
Yeah, take a dump and let me know. Take a dump.
Yeah, that works. Dump girl, dump lady.
What do you think about the idea of having the sister or the person who's not paying rent do certain things around the house?

Oh, absolutely.

Like tidying up, flushing dumps.

Yeah, flushing their own dumps frequently.

You got to pay your way.

You got to do something.

So what do you do around your house?

I clean their apartments.

I do their laundry.

You get this internship.

I got the internship.

Thank you, Adam.

Yeah, you nailed this internship that got you out of the house every now and then.

You're getting paid.

Oh, yeah.

You are.

That, I thought I had to pay you.

So that's the way I thought it was.

How much money do you have on you, Jill?

Because, yeah, the way it works is you get paid, but then you just transfer that money to us. That's what I thought.
All right, so Jilly Football, first day in the books. You can follow her at Jilly underscore football.
You're going to be tweeting. We want you tweeting all your thoughts.
Anything else you have for us? What are your thoughts on Twitter, Jill, so far? Yeah. What's your experience with it? It's confusing.
I'm sorry. You know, if it wasn't for my darling Jake, I don't think I could do it.
He has to come and practically hold my hand. You'll be just fine.
You know what you should do while you're still learning to get the hang of Twitter? You should write down all your tweets. Oh, okay.
Instead of tweeting them, and then when you get into the office, we can help you tweet them out. Or write down your tweets and take a picture of them and then tweet the picture.
That's a good idea. That's a streamlined thing.
Yeah, that really works. All your thoughts.
And by the way, not to give you any pressure or anything, but you are up to 5,000 Twitter followers. Oh, wow.
So the world is watching. Wow.
I'm a lucky woman, eh? You're very popular. Yeah, you are very, very popular.
I also like how you call Jake my darling Jake. I'd like to see that continue.
I think I might call him my darling Jake. Yeah.
All right, so Jill, every Friday, you're going to be on in the summer. It's going to be a fun little summer.
License to Jill. And make sure you come back with some things you're disappointed with.
We're going to

screw up. Oh, well, you

will. Yeah, we will.
You will screw up.

But it's about getting up. Knock me down seven

times. Get up eight.
Yeah, exactly.

All right, Jill. Thank you so much.
Thanks, guys.

Love you guys. Talk to the mic.

Love you guys. We'll be right back.
I'm coming for your lover, gay I'm coming for your lover, gay Needless to say I've all said it It's about being so lovely I'm smelling that my life is okay Say after me I'm prepared to be safe and soundy Say after me I'm prepared to be safe and soundy Oh, I'm coming for my life Take off me Take off me No! No! Take me out.