Blake Griffin, NBA Finals, And Chris Mannix On Andy Ruiz's Big Night

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have our good friend, recurring guest Hall of Famer and Blake of the Year nominee, Blake Griffin, on the show, in the van. Always fun to talk to Blake.

Speaker 1 We also have Chris Mannix, who called the unbelievable fight

Speaker 1 Andy Ruiz, shocked the world with his frumpy body for big boys everywhere. Won the heavyweight title on Saturday night.
We talked to him how that happened. It was insane.
He was there.

Speaker 1 We have game two recap of the NBA Finals, Monday reading, and who's back of the week. Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on.
Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 1 I got a drink named after me. Not a big deal.
Pink Whitney?

Speaker 1 That's what I thought. See you, fellas.
I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.
Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the sound of work to be done.

Speaker 1 Low place behind a low washing.

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Today is Monday, June 3rd.

Speaker 1 And Andre Eguedala has ice in his veins. Yeah.
Well, embrace debate. Was that a dumb shot or a smart shot? Yeah, that was so stupid.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess you could have waited a little longer, but no one's been more wide open.

Speaker 1 And the Warriors, that was an ultimate championship team

Speaker 1 win with Kevin Durant hurt, Clay Thompson going out with the hamstring, which, by the way, that wasn't talked about after, but that's a huge, huge injury because he went out and he looked really pissed.

Speaker 1 Steph Curry with the runs. Yeah, that was great.
And Boogie Cousin having to be relied on. It was so funny in the first half, especially when they were doing the updates on Steph Curry on his butt.

Speaker 1 Because the butt is a very, it can throw off your entire rest of your body. Your butt's not feeling right.
And if you're an outside shooter, you can't be squirting.

Speaker 1 You can't be jumping up in the air with your ass cheeks clinched together. It is funny because we joke about the whole Steph's injured when he's not shooting well.

Speaker 1 And it was so perfect because he did start really bad. And I think he was like one for seven at one point.

Speaker 1 And instantly, the reports of diarrhea, the finger, everything, going to the locker room, taking a shit. It all came out.
But there's no pun intended there, no

Speaker 1 whatever intended. Yeah.
But it did all come out. Yeah.
Yeah. It absolutely did.
And he looked uncomfortable in the first quarter for sure. They were feeding him energy chews.
Did you see that?

Speaker 1 They were giving me energy chew, Steph Curry updates. Like a little monster energy chew.
I think he saw Fred Van Vliet sucking down that placenta and was like, I'll just do a synthetic energy chew.

Speaker 1 I've been thinking about that with Fred Van Vliet, how he's been on fire since he had his kid. What if I never lose a bet after I have a child? I think the placenta is the trick to it.

Speaker 1 A lot of people do that. Yeah.
It's energy gel.

Speaker 1 Eating that placenta. Let's get placenta and paella mixed up.
Pretty much the same.

Speaker 1 Not the same. Well, you can make one out of the other.
Right. Yeah, you can put one in the other.
It's excellent stock.

Speaker 1 By the way, speaking of energy chews, Hank is podcasting under the influence right now. So everyone be careful.
That's not true. Yeah, you are.
I banged a monster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you banged a fucking monster at 11 o'clock at night. It's the ultra sunrise.
Trying to pop it up. Now you won't stop synergy.

Speaker 1 This is one of those ones where the jokes become reality, and it's like we're just now a fucking banging a monsters podcast. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, yo, pass me a white diamond. That's how I got started vaping.
Yeah, that's true. That's a joke.
And you've quit.

Speaker 1 So that was, though, like, I love it because, you know, people hate the Warriors online. They hate seeing them win over and over and over, and I get it.

Speaker 1 But they'll always be like, oh, yeah, like classic Warriors, they get bailed out by Andre Godala.

Speaker 1 They get bailed out by Quinn Cook, who wanted to take every every single three until like the last four minutes. But that's what championships teams do.
Like, these guys step up in big moments.

Speaker 1 They're down 11 or 12 in the first half. It looks like the Raptors are going to cruise, and they just come out, third-quarter Warriors, do their fucking thing.

Speaker 1 The Raptors didn't score for like seven minutes. No, it was crazy.
Draymond showed up, and Draymond and Iggy shut down Pascal Siakam after that after that game one performance.

Speaker 1 The third-quarter Warriors are the most fun team in the NBA to watch. They're insane.
I absolutely love them. They're the ultimate Vince Young's.

Speaker 1 And that's when they start going the fuck off. That actually answers our hypothetical from Friday's show.

Speaker 1 If it was us versus the Warriors up 100, would they come back only if it was the third quarter? Yeah, our bet was the fourth quarter. Yeah, so we probably would still win that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we would fucking punish them. Yeah, but it was, I mean, that's just what championship teams do.
Like,

Speaker 1 everything's against them. They have injuries left and right, and they're on the road.

Speaker 1 And it felt like, it really did feel like in the first half, it was like, all right, Warriors are going to just pack it in and go, you know, go out to Oracle and probably even this series in game three and four.

Speaker 1 But now, as long as Clay is not actually really hurt, which he could be, the Warriors have. Hamstrings are weird, man.
Yeah, they did. Hamstrings are very weird.
1-1 on the road.

Speaker 1 Then they probably have Kevin Durant coming back. They don't have to play again until Wednesday.

Speaker 1 I feel like Kevin Durant, this is the perfect time for him to come in because no matter what, they lost game one, so it can't be like, oh, well, he's fucking everything up.

Speaker 1 He can come in and win Finals MVP and take it from Steph. I'm talking myself into the take that Clay Thompson is actually actually the most important part of piece of that Warriors team.
Ooh, okay.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't

Speaker 1 do his classic thing.

Speaker 1 They don't work.

Speaker 1 So Clay will come in and he'll shoot like seven for 10. I love Clay Thompson so much because what he does is he likes there will be games where he just disappears.

Speaker 1 And then there will be games where, like tonight, where he just said, I'm going to score every single point.

Speaker 1 And when I've said this before, but when Clay gets hot, it is more fun than even when Steph gets hot because there's something about the way he gets hot. It's almost like

Speaker 1 his mood doesn't change he just it's just one of those things just happens and it just happens to clay thompson that he doesn't fucking move the net when he hits threes and everything goes in for him he doesn't have to dribble and it's awesome and he plays great defense well i think we figured out that sabermetrically he has the most uh yeah the most points per dribble in nba history just by the eyeball test

Speaker 1 so the i mean the warriors are going to be i don't know this is going to be pretty tough for the raptors to like i feel like that was i don't want to get like knee-jerk and say that's a series

Speaker 1 okay i'll say that with knee-jerk, you have to win that game because you basically had this. You had that game going into the third quarter.
You had

Speaker 1 Steph with the flu or whatever the fuck he had.

Speaker 1 You didn't expect Boogie Cousins to come in and do what he did because he was pretty damn awesome, especially considering the fact he hasn't played in forever.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to make the early pitch for Draymond to get finals MVP because he had 17, 10, and 9. He had triple-double game one.
He almost had a double game two. He's everything for their team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what about Andrew Bogutt? I think Andrew Bogitt's gonna have a couple nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for two on LA. Lobbs.
Lobbs up there. Yeah.
High percentage efficient player. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that this is where the Warriors take over.

Speaker 1 I put a nice little bet on them to win the series, go into this game. Feel really good about that.
It was one of those, like, that's my last move that I have. Yeah.
I had to fire a missile at it.

Speaker 1 It's just, it also is one of those things. Where's Drake now? He had the.
Well, did you see that this league, he had his

Speaker 1 sweatshirt, had a home alone Kevin McCallister on the back. It was supposed to maybe be a shot of Kevin Durant.
Yeah, just said like Kevin on the back.

Speaker 1 No, it was a shot of Kevin Durant, kind of, because it has his name. Like, where is he? But it was.
But also, he doesn't know the plot of Home Alone because Kevin was there the whole time.

Speaker 1 His family just left him. It would make more sense to have him.
And he kills the bad guys. If he was at a Packers game when Aaron Rodgers was playing, it would make more sense to have him.

Speaker 1 And he wins the finals MVP of the movie. Yes.
Kevin Durant's going to come back and do all that.

Speaker 1 It was a classic this league because this league has gotten so out of hand with the petty wars that you can just put anything on a sweatshirt and everyone will be like, what?

Speaker 1 Well, let me say, what does that mean? The real key to this is that Guy Fieri showed up tonight. Yeah.
Guy Fieri and Obama showed up.

Speaker 1 Obama went up to Toronto and tampered with the entire nation of Canada right in Adam Silver's face. I don't think that Canada can, they don't have any bullets left in the chamber.

Speaker 1 You can't respond to a one-two punch of Guy Fieri and Obama. How sweet must it be to be like that level of virtue? He's like, yeah, I just want to go to this game.
I'm just going to go to this game.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm just going to show up and fly fly private to this game. That's that is.
It's the Marlins Man dream where he wasn't there tonight. I don't think he goes to NBA games.
No, he does.

Speaker 1 No, he texted me. Oh, okay.
Thanks.

Speaker 1 There's actually a great Marlinsman update today.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know he texted me. He texted me a picture and then afterwards said, there goes the no-hitter.
Perfect game. Right after I took that picture, the very next pitch broke up the no-hitter.

Speaker 1 Yes. What inning was it? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Bottom four. Oh, there goes the no-hitter.
Damn, there goes the no-hitter. I should have talked about it.

Speaker 1 Wasn't there like 13 runs runs for this game? I should have talked about it. Also, a few people sent me screenshots and videos of Marlins Man tonight.

Speaker 1 He was taking pictures behind home plate with a flash on.

Speaker 1 So classic Marlinsman, always shining the light on somebody else, not focusing on himself for the troops.

Speaker 1 Marlinsman, when I went to a Cubs Mets game with him last year and John Lester had a no-hitter through like five, I was like, man, this is awesome. The game's going really fast.

Speaker 1 And he was like, yeah, that's what happens when there's no hits. It goes really fast because there's no one on base.
He's like, thanks, Marlins, Man. I get it now.
I love it.

Speaker 1 So, yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know. The Warriors, I feel like this is going to, especially if Kevin Durant comes back.
I guess Clay is the big question mark now because Clay Thompson's out. That is a huge, huge loss.

Speaker 1 That's stating very much the obvious. But I still, I feel like the Raptors

Speaker 1 could have done it. If they had won tonight's game, it becomes a real, real hard

Speaker 1 hill to climb for the Warriors. And they had Shakum played well tonight again.
Well, not as, I mean, I think he only had like 12 points. Yeah, but he was

Speaker 1 five for 18. Oh, really? Yeah.
Oh, I guess

Speaker 1 early on, Siakam. That's why Treyon is so good, too.

Speaker 1 You know what it was? He figures guys out. I got deceived by a gif earlier in the game.
So he played pretty well in the first and second quarters. Siakam.
But he had that alley oop where

Speaker 1 he was so high up, he could have bit the rim to hang on. And I was like, he had an awesome game.
He had an awesome game. No.

Speaker 1 They put Eguidal on him. That's the thing.
The Warriors,

Speaker 1 way they lose game one, they're not going to lose that way again. You know what I mean? They're just too smart and they're too good.

Speaker 1 And credit to Steve Curry, even though no one wants to ever give him credit, he coaches a fucking good team.

Speaker 1 I hope for some chaos when Kevin Durant comes back. That's all that I have.
That's what we've been hoping for the entire series. All right, so the other two big stories we've got to get to.

Speaker 1 We have Chris Mannix coming up. He was at the fight on Saturday night, so we talked to him about the stunner, Andy Ruiz, 14-1 underdog, beat Anthony Joshua for all the fat guys in the world.

Speaker 1 But we need to talk about Andy Ruiz and like our king. He is the common man king.
I love him. I've never seen anything like this.
He is so out of shape, even though he's still in like good shape.

Speaker 1 He's just one of those. He's in pretty good shape.
I saw some videos of him training, and he's not slow. He's quick.
He's got good teeth. So he says he's out of shape.
Compared to most people

Speaker 1 that aren't in shape like us podcasters, he's in bad shape.

Speaker 1 And you can look flabby as a boxer and still be in incredible shape but it is funny watching a guy like that win he was so happy some of his quotes were incredible just the contrast of his body against the his opponent Joshua it was just an insane like yin and yang the fact that uh so the the someone posted it on Instagram Anthony Joshua winning the gold medal and uh Andy Rees in 2013, he had an Instagram post that just said, me chilling after I took a shit.

Speaker 1 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And it's just a selfie in his bathroom.
So that's where they they were like five years ago.

Speaker 1 And then the fact that Andy Rees got this fight on five weeks' notice through an Instagram DM to the promoter. It works.

Speaker 1 Incredible. Incredible.
He also said that

Speaker 1 he said for people were like going at him about the fact that he got the, you know, like hating on him or whatnot.

Speaker 1 He said, since no other heavyweight wanted to take the fight, was I supposed to not believe in myself? This fight is for all my underdogs who are always counted out.

Speaker 1 All my fat boys who are never given a chance overlooked simply for their weight. Hashtag Snickers.
There you go. Hashtag Snickers.
I love it. Also, one thing that we're not talking about here.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's a big dude, right? He's a chunk boy. Oh, yeah.
But he's also a big representative for those of us in the third nipple community. He's got a massive.
Well, you're in the fourth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, you know, we'll take representation wherever we can get it. Got it.
The extraneous nipple community. Yes.

Speaker 1 He's got a big fucking third nipple right underneath the left one. It's like almost as big as his normal ones are.
That's the first thing I saw. It's great to see some representation out in the open.

Speaker 1 The other thing I love about his nipples, there are two things I love about his nipples. One is the extra.

Speaker 1 The second is that he's got the business tats, except the business tats just don't cover his nipple at all. Right.
He's got like a nipple-less bra of tattoo. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's got a whole chest plate. He's got everything.

Speaker 1 He said, ever since I was seven years old, fighting in amateurs, my dad used to give me a Snickers before every fight.

Speaker 1 So the pre-fight meal was a steak and a Snickers for him. So he does that.
And that's his only sponsor as far as I know. That's Snickers.

Speaker 1 They call it a Mexican knife fight if it's a Corona mixed with a tequila. What's a steak and a Snickers?

Speaker 1 That's an Andy Reid knife fight. Yeah, pretty much.
A double steak and a Snickers is an Andy Reid knife fight.

Speaker 1 And Andy Reed's also, he's a guy's guy because he on his Instagram, his third most recent post is him behind the Wall Street bull. Just had the nuts.

Speaker 1 Holding his nuts and saying what all Mexicans have. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 1 Fucking love this guy. Yeah, he's a love this guy.
He is awesome. He is unbelievable.
Was he talking about bull testosterone? Yeah, because that's what Canelo testosterone. Yes, that's true.

Speaker 1 We got to check his name. That's true.
So we have more about that fight, the actual fight itself, not just how much we love Andy Rury's our king. I do love him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, like, from an aesthetic point of view, I hope that he can defend his title because I want this. This guy's good for boxing.

Speaker 1 Also, if he can stick around, someone tweeted me last night, which was a good point.

Speaker 1 He's going to be so fat for his 30 for 30 in like five years. It's going to be awesome.
He's going to put on a title.

Speaker 1 He got paid, dude. That is the common man dream.
Like, you have one night of absolute glory and then just live off.

Speaker 1 I need to see what he spends this paycheck on because he's going to make some awesome purchase. He's going to get like four above-ground pools.
He's the fucking man. He's been getting one.

Speaker 1 He's the man. He looks like Farva's stunt double.
Yeah. He's, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if they did like

Speaker 1 a Mexican version of Super Troopers, he would be in it. Who's the guy that dresses up in full pads for Cardinals? Is that Cortez? Yeah, Cortez.
He looks like Cortez's lawyer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's actually got a pretty nice goatee. It's pretty shaped up pretty nicely.
Yeah. And he had the Knicks jersey on, and fuck, man, this guy is the man.

Speaker 1 So we have, yeah, Chris Mannix coming up more about the actual fight.

Speaker 1 Hank, aggro, Hank, Monster Energy, Hank. I can't believe Hank's been quiet this whole time.
Yeah, you got your tongue, Hank. Your Bruins shit pumped the Blues in game three.
Shit-pumped. Shit-pumped.

Speaker 1 Shit-pumped. It's over.
Series is over. You think so? Yeah.
The Blues have come back after every loss, like, pretty well in these playoffs.

Speaker 1 But their goalie is like the third worst goalie in the playoffs. He looks very, very shook.
He's rattling.

Speaker 1 Nailed in seven goals. Like three of them were goals he should have saved.
There's something pretty, there's something so funny about a goalie getting pulled in a big moment.

Speaker 1 Just like, I just don't have it, guys. I'm out.
Like, I'm just out of the game. I can't do this.

Speaker 1 Who was that goalie? Wow, was it Patrick Waugh that gave up seven goals and they just kept him in the game? And then immediately afterwards he requested a trade? Or he demanded a trade?

Speaker 1 It's just so funny to see

Speaker 1 one bad day can totally ruin you as a goalie in any sport. I'm looking it up right now.
I think it's Patrick Watts. Really?

Speaker 1 I think he got pulled after like seven goals, and he was pissed off that they let him in so long. So he went over to his coach and goes, I'm not playing.
Oh, yeah, he gave up nine goals

Speaker 1 on 26 shots. Yeah.
And got and then demanded a trade from the Montreal Canadian. Yes, while the game was still going on.
They've been cursed ever since.

Speaker 1 Let's do some who's back. Oh, before we get to who's back, if you want to watch our interview with Blake Griffin, we did it in the van, and you can do that at barstool gold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 1 So you can watch all of our interviews, barstoolgold.com slash PMT. We got more coming up.
We did a bunch of interviews during Grit Week, so check them out, barstoolgold.com slash PMT.

Speaker 1 All right, who's back of the week? Hank, you start. You want me to start? Yeah, you start, aggro, Hank.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Who's back of the week? I have a few. Oh, great.
Good. My first one is B delays.
Or bug delays. Oh, sorry, PFT.
Oh, damn. Dang it.

Speaker 1 Anyway, everyone knows how much I love B delays and bug delays and things. What? That's my.
I love bees. I'm trying to do my who's back of the week.
Yeah. Keep going.
B delays. What happened?

Speaker 1 There was a B delay in the Padres game. Oh, nice.
Swarm of bees had a delay. That time of the year, the summer, you know, you're going to get bug delays, bee delays, gnats.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Nidges. I love a good deal.
There's nothing I love a good B delay. I love B delay.
It's great. I think it's a decision.
I love it.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Hank. Thanks, Hank.
I love B delay. Do you too? Yeah, I do love B delays, and it's like the the first robin of spring.

Speaker 1 Every time there's a B delay, you're good for about two of them a spring in baseball.

Speaker 1 That's what really gets you. It's those and the fights, like an early season fight that'll get you to the all-star game.
Yeah. So, yeah, big fan of B-delays, too.
Well, Hank, for bringing that to me.

Speaker 1 Hank, big fan of B-delays. Hey, good news.
We watched enough porn to the point where there are enough B's to cause delays in baseball. True, true.
My other who's back of the week is Texas football.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. Good.
I had that one too, Hank. A perennial back candidate.

Speaker 1 They posted their highest GPA in team history this past semester. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 2.89. That's a good way to get everyone

Speaker 1 be like, oh, wait, 2.8. 2.89, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you got to see that. I just totally went over my hand.
I was like, wait, what? You got to see the graphic they tweeted out, too, because it was like, this is a big accomplishment for us.

Speaker 1 And then, like, big letters 2.89. I would love to see what they're lowered off the field.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's also definitely like

Speaker 1 the 10 guys who don't get a scholarship are getting like 4.0s.

Speaker 1 You know, and then everyone else is getting a nice little anchor from that. Yeah, they've got like three backup kickers.

Speaker 1 They've got two backup kickers they signed just so that they could bring up that GPA. We've got to see the lowest.
The lowest would be so funny.

Speaker 1 I was going to make fun of them for this because I had this as my Who's Back of the Week. Oh, it's Tank's Who's Back.
But I had it as mine, but I decided not to use it because that's

Speaker 1 exactly what I used. Tank used it.
That's my GPA. 2.89? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nerd. Yeah.
Damn.

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 1 Embrace the bait. Nerd or

Speaker 1 he's not a nerd.

Speaker 1 Okay, to me.

Speaker 1 It's true. It's all relative.
Yes. Bookum.
That was your GPA. 2.89.
Yeah. Damn.

Speaker 1 Pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Doesn't matter. Counted.

Speaker 1 Yeah. C's get degrees.

Speaker 1 Got that piece of paper. That's right, right.

Speaker 1 Is there anything else of mine that you'd like to take, Hank? Jewels are back. Okay.
Yeah. Good.
Yes. It's Jewels.
Jewel rules. I'm in Jewel of Denial.

Speaker 1 There's nothing, like, there's nothing with the Jewel. Just

Speaker 1 rules. Wake up in the morning and just, mmm, you know, PFT? No, I don't know.
I'm in Jewel of Denial right now because I'm not sucking down any vapor.

Speaker 1 I've been living that clean life.

Speaker 1 How's that going? Well, I smoked a couple cigarettes. Oh, okay.
But again, like I said, I'm just, that's to wean me off. Yeah.
Jewels run the world.

Speaker 1 Ned Stark is back, too, because I've decided to wear my hair. Like Ned Stark.
Yeah, PFT came in today with the Ned Stark hair, just out of nowhere. Yeah.
Well, Hank. Hank.

Speaker 1 I didn't want to say anything about it. Hank asked me to do it last week.
Oh, okay. Or like two weeks ago.

Speaker 1 He said, or you suggested, you said, have you ever thought about wearing your hair like Jon Snuck? I was like, did you kill someone this weekend?

Speaker 1 Because that's, you know, when you change your hair that dress. This is what's going on.
This is my shoot, my Jeweless Joe Jackson hair. Got it.
It reminds me, keep things in perspective.

Speaker 1 Yeah, keep that. You could, all of a sudden, you could be back in the, when was the Game of Thrones? 500s? I don't even fucking know.
Well, it was actually fantasy. No, it was Fantasy, whatever.

Speaker 1 300 AD. Or maybe it was in the future.
300 AD. Like Star Wars.
Oh, breaking news. We just saw a clip of Steph and KD walking in the tunnel together.

Speaker 1 They're back. Best friends.
Yeah. My only who's back of the week, because Hank took all of them, was Ping.

Speaker 1 Ping's back. Oh, because of baseball.
Because of baseball. Because it's college World Series season.
And I love the sound. And

Speaker 1 college softball World Series. Yes.
Which, by the way, I was actually going to do this in talking soccer. We're going to do a quick talking softball.
But did you see the woman on UCLA?

Speaker 1 Maybe like the greatest sporting performance of all time. Rachel Garcia, she's the pitcher.
She pitched 10 shutout innings, 179 pitches, 16 strikeouts, and then hit the walk-off home run.

Speaker 1 That's pretty cool. That's insane.
That's Bartolo Colonio. That is insane.
That's like all-time up there with performances that you could put up on the mantle.

Speaker 1 That's just the plot from that movie with Gene Hackman, right?

Speaker 1 Brendan Frazier. You talk about Hoosiers? That's a basketball movie.
No, I'm talking about the

Speaker 1 basketball, yeah. It's Indiana basketball.

Speaker 1 And they win the state title, Dion measures the nets. He's like still 10 feet high.
Dean Frazier is still 10 feet high. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Brendan Frazier. What's his name? Comes out and is drunk all the time.
Shooter. What's his name?

Speaker 1 Dennis.

Speaker 1 Dustin.

Speaker 1 Not Dustin Hoffman.

Speaker 1 Johnson. No, what's the guy's name? Wait, the scout.
Yeah, it's the scout. That's the scout.
It's Hoosiers. Albert Brooks and Brendan Fraser.
Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, that's basically the plot.
So

Speaker 1 he's this guy that the Yankees sign, and he's the best pitching prospect. Are you talking about Steve Nebraska? Yeah.
Yeah. Steve Nebraska, dude.
And then he pitched the perfect game.

Speaker 1 Then Then he mashes ding-dongs. Yeah, 27 strikeouts.
He repelled out of a helicopter like Barry Grillos to start the game. Greatest performance of all time.

Speaker 1 So Rachel Garcia. So Rachel Garcia.
Garcia, yeah. Yeah, no, that's the only one that I have.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. I got a couple who's backs here.
The state of Illinois is back because they legalized gambling and marijuana all on the same weekend.

Speaker 1 That's like the greatest come up on a weekend that you could ever have. That is mad chill.
That's yeah, that is mad chill. Thanks, Hank.
He's not even paying attention. So are you?

Speaker 1 Hank is at the

Speaker 1 15-year-old monster energy level right now where he's just not focusing and going through his Instagram. And just annoying his parents at dinner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So would you say that they're more like Las Vegas or Atlantic City now? Is it Chai Vegas? Is that what we're calling it? I think they're going to build a monster casino, too.

Speaker 1 Like it actually said monster casino. Hell yeah.
Yes.

Speaker 1 So that's a huge, like a weekend win to have weed and gambling legalized in one weekend. Here's the problem.
What? Chicago is about to become the new bachelor party capital.

Speaker 1 I know it kind of dark horse, but it's about to reach like Nashville, Austin. But everyone's going to get gambling in.
I feel like everyone's going to get gambling in weed eventually.

Speaker 1 It will for a little bit, but like once Nashville and Charleston catches up, then those guys will

Speaker 1 reclaim the throne.

Speaker 1 All right. I also had curses.
Curses are back because ever since Aaron Rodgers didn't chug his beer, which we'll get to in segments, The Bucs didn't win another game.

Speaker 1 And Matt LaFleur tore his Achilles and is going to be coaching out of a cart this spring. I hope he coaches out of a golf cart.
Yeah. I think that's what he's going to do.

Speaker 1 Because once you become a golf cart guy, you're never coming back. Yes.
Once you taste the sweet nectar, kind of driving every

Speaker 1 high school in America had one PE teacher that got to use a cart because they got type 2 diabetes. And there's no coming back from that.

Speaker 1 Kind of a smart move, though, to get injured the first, you know, first year on the job because they can't fire an injured guy. Everyone feels bad for him, like, oh, no, coach got injured.

Speaker 1 So, but Aaron Rodgers cursed their team 100%.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview with Blake Griffin. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 4 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht.
And the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 4 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.
Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Blake Griffin.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend.

Speaker 1 Best friends? Our best, my best friend. Best friend, recurring guest, Blake Griffin, nominee for Blake of the Year, coming up soon.
Couldn't get the Blakes together, but we will eventually.

Speaker 1 Thanks for inviting us over to L.A. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Anytime you want to come to a city, just let me know. Okay, really? Any city? Yeah, I mean, for the most part,

Speaker 1 you got a few places.

Speaker 1 Detroit. Yeah, done.
Okay. Can we house it in Detroit? L.A., you're here.
Yeah, if you want. Do you have a house sitter? No, I don't have a house sitter.
Oh, you should. It's just empty?

Speaker 1 I got somebody that goes by, you know. Checks it.

Speaker 1 I greased the police a little bit.

Speaker 1 They go by

Speaker 1 once a day. I got a question for you right off the bat.
Are you intimidated that we have another Blake emerging for Blake of the Year in Brooks Kepka?

Speaker 1 A lot of buzz.

Speaker 1 Huge buzz. A lot of buzz.
Blake and I,

Speaker 1 when you've been doing this for so long,

Speaker 1 I don't know. You see guys come and go, and

Speaker 1 you hope that they can bring out some competition and

Speaker 1 make things interesting. But i mean we're we're veterans yeah you've been with blake all your life i yeah for 30 years now yeah have you turned 30 oh you did happy birthday

Speaker 1 thank you yeah have you ever thought about like maybe teaming up with blake and and taking on the newcomer together uh

Speaker 1 teaming up with which blake with blake not bro take on

Speaker 1 blake so like a blake union yeah like a little like a little what they do like the little packs and uh

Speaker 1 yeah survivor yeah

Speaker 1 you should we should actually do have them vote.

Speaker 1 And you can't vote for yourself. Yeah.
A little intrigue.

Speaker 1 Because if you get rid of Blake right away. Right, well, with only three people, you're really in a tight pickle.

Speaker 1 There was a part of me, like a real conversation that was had, like, hey, should I just name my upcoming child Blake

Speaker 1 to just steal it, but it's not a good name.

Speaker 1 So it's like it would be for a joke, but then the joke would be like, hey, you have to be named Blake for your whole life. I don't know that many Blakes.

Speaker 1 i know two i actually know three and yeah i have a good friend two of them are professionals athletes yeah that's true

Speaker 1 yeah if you grew up playing large cross you probably know several more blakes that's true all right so there's a private school so steve blake steve blake there's another one world champion um blake shelton oh blake lively oh oh All right, so that was us doing the Blake.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do a real question. Ready? How's the knee? Knee's great.
Yeah. Knee's great, yeah.
I saw you just wheeling yourself up and down the court in the playoffs and that was impressive.

Speaker 1 You were walking it, though. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they didn't have to wrap you from your ankle to your butt. Oh my god.
You had the biggest fucking knee brace on I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 It was my other knee. I just

Speaker 1 put the brace on the good knee. And everybody's like, wow, he's really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that was actually impressive. I mean, credit to you.
I mean, as impressive as a sweep could be. Yeah, well, listen, Milwaukee's lucky.

Speaker 1 We played him four times in the regular season, lost lost all four. But like, I guarantee you, if we play a ninth.

Speaker 1 Is Giannis like, I mean, obviously we have no idea how unbelievable he is, but like when he does his Euro step, is it just unguardable?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we actually sort of played Giannis somewhat well in like a couple of the games.

Speaker 1 But like

Speaker 1 game three, he had like 11 points with like

Speaker 1 four minutes left in the fourth quarter, and they were up 25. Right.
And then the next game, he had 40, and they were up 25. So it's just like they're Giannis is really good.

Speaker 1 Their team is very good as well. Yeah.
And it's demoralizing to have a good game against somebody defensively and then them kill. Yeah.
How do you plan against Giannis though?

Speaker 1 You back up. You like try to

Speaker 1 let him get ahead of steam. And then as soon as he picks an angle, try to take a charge.
But he's so long, sometimes he gets around you. What about, so I was thinking about this.

Speaker 1 You know how he does that big? He does the big right and then left. As soon as he's going right, just turn around and try to block him when he's going left.
Turn around.

Speaker 1 Turn around, you face the basket, and block him from behind. Like you're boxing out.
That seems like the easy way to do it. I don't think that that's

Speaker 1 I could show you later. You guys might have won a game if I had been on the back of the game.
I think there's a 100% reason why that hasn't been done before. You just turn around really fast.

Speaker 1 You gotta anticipate it, and then you just block him from behind. You mean like a full pivot?

Speaker 1 You're not

Speaker 1 back. So you're facing the 360.

Speaker 1 You're coming at you. You do a spin move on him.

Speaker 1 Giannis is coming at you, and you just, you're like, uh-oh, here comes the Eurostep, and you just basically do it with him. Yeah, but you mimic the Eurostep like dancing.

Speaker 1 If I am aligned with him, he's going to make that layup because his arm would be. Well, then you got to follow him.
Yeah. Or just go to where Delano's going to be.

Speaker 1 He's failed every fucking play. It's insane.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Oh, you mean they call it.

Speaker 1 They call it. Yes.
They call it every play. Yes.
They call it a lot. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 He shot eight more free throws than us in the getting game four. And then our entire team he shot eight more

Speaker 1 blaming the refs no no no no no the refs were very very very good

Speaker 1 job so what happened with that video the chant that was going on in the honestly no clue i was doing it i just like it just got stuck in my head it's a good song it was a refs you suck chant you just hopped in that was a very very funny class too

Speaker 1 they can't bust you for chanting along if somebody else starts it and you just go along uh i i the ref that was standing right there i i know well and like i have a good relationship with him so like he wouldn't give give me a tag, but there's some that probably would have given me a tag if they'd heard.

Speaker 1 Did you get a letter from the league about that? No, not about that, but I got a few letters to see.

Speaker 1 Did you get a contract from the Houston Rockets for that?

Speaker 1 They hate the refs. Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 No, they haven't reached out yet. Do you think that

Speaker 1 we're conspiracy theorists? The whole NBA, you know, every time they throw out a ref there, they explain that the refs have been decided before the series starts.

Speaker 1 But are there certain games where you're like, all right, this ref calls it completely different than the last ref oh 100 yeah like when i'm watching the games now like as soon as the game started i look to see who the refs are i'm like all right that's not good for this team or this team like this style play yeah like refs are human like you know they like like certain guys or they don't like certain guys or it's weird like i left the clippers and now some refs really like me and our team and some refs like don't you know what i mean it's just like coaches like it it depends on everything yeah i'm gonna pivot real quick to the draft we're real draft nicks on this podcast We get real deep into the weeds on it.

Speaker 1 Do you think that it's a smart idea to try to build a franchise like if you use a very high draft pick around a big power forward with tremendous leaping ability?

Speaker 1 It seems like that's never going to win in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I mean, it could win, well, not this year.

Speaker 1 It could win some games. I don't know.
It got to the point. Oh, I wasn't talking about you.
Oh,

Speaker 1 Zion, Zion, Zion. Wow.
You're playing so hard on this. Egg on my side.

Speaker 1 I always think we're talking about you. Here I am sitting sitting here thinking everything's about me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they got two big guys down there, but that's like going against what the rest of the league is doing right now. Right.
They're building from the inside out.

Speaker 1 Is that possible to win nowadays with that? It depends on who you put around it. Like this makes me sound really old, but when I came in the league, the league was completely different.

Speaker 1 I never really went that far outside the paint. Dirk was the only big shooting threes, Kevin Love, but he was like young then, so he wasn't like shooting like he is now.

Speaker 1 So like I used to average like 12 rebounds because I'd always be down there. And now like fours, I'm like on the perimeter more than I am in the paint.
Yeah. You're money from three.
Thanks, Doug.

Speaker 1 You are. No, you are.
I told you that. I've been telling you.
You west. Keep shooting that.
Oh, nice. Yeah, I'm trying to keep you up.

Speaker 1 Keep shooting that. Keep shooting.
Soggy Bill. That's what they call you.

Speaker 1 How sad were you when

Speaker 1 that is a great one? That is Soggy Bill.

Speaker 1 How sad were you when the Rockets lost?

Speaker 1 See your good friend Chris Paul. I would have rather seen them in the conference finals.
Oh, you're sick of the Warriors? No, but I love good basketball.

Speaker 1 And that was our best chance for good basketball. No offense to the Blazers, but we, you know, we saw.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wait, no, no, the Rockets lost to the Warriors.
You're saying that you would have rather

Speaker 1 seen the Rockets play the

Speaker 1 Warriors in the conference finals. That makes perfect sense.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Has Kevin Durant been in touch with you about maybe coming to Detroit?

Speaker 1 No, not yet, but I was letting his season get over with, and then I'm sure

Speaker 1 he loves Detroit.

Speaker 1 I'm sure. Did you? I don't know for a fact.
Chris Broussard Broussard said he loves Detroit. Yes.
Oh, that's a good feud. What do you whose side do you take on that one?

Speaker 1 Not Chris Broussard. Why, dude? Brew crew.

Speaker 1 It means that you're part of a select group of news breakers that break news first and ask questions later. What was the shirt that Brew Crew? I just did a film.

Speaker 1 It's wonky-eyed,

Speaker 1 and then it's just got a bunch of MS paint all over the place, and I sold like 100 of them.

Speaker 1 I can't go with that. I can't go with that.

Speaker 1 You know what you should do is like right after the season's over, just tweet eyeballs at Kevin Durant or just eyeballs in general. Oh yeah, you can see that.
Yeah, just start.

Speaker 1 Yeah, now you can, free agency time, you can start getting cryptic. Yes.
And just firing off just the most random emotion.

Speaker 1 I think we should pick like three emojis that I tweet every

Speaker 1 day leading up to free agency. Well, let's do this.
When before we put out this podcast, can you tweet?

Speaker 1 We'll text you before the podcast comes out. The day before, can you just tweet iEmojis? And then everyone be like, What is he doing? What is he doing?

Speaker 1 And then he listens to this and you're like, oh, he's we're literally just punking you right now. Like, you've just gotten to this part of the podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you thought that Blake Griffin was doing something crazy on the show.

Speaker 1 We are just idiots sitting here right now planning this. And it worked.

Speaker 1 He walked right into it. He walked right into it.
You idiots.

Speaker 1 You idiots. God damn it.
That was good. Fuck.
Dude,

Speaker 1 Pajor Report wrote a story about it. You.
Yeah, you guys are idiots. One story they did a slideshow about.
Yeah, what does this mean? But Griffin eyeballs. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 No one cares.

Speaker 1 Just doesn't get retweeted at all.

Speaker 1 We will always.

Speaker 1 Everybody retweet it. We'll get out there.
Oh, that's embarrassing. You left the tag on your shoe.

Speaker 1 I'm a plastic zip tag. I already saw it.
You hit me with that.

Speaker 1 It's a fashion thing.

Speaker 1 Elaine's. Okay.
Oh, speaking of shoes, I hit you up a couple weeks ago when I was getting my jumpsoles. Jump soles, yeah.
So I got them. I've been walking around.

Speaker 1 I didn't bring them them on Grit Week.

Speaker 1 That's the perfect shoe to wear in Grit Week. Yeah, they do look good.
Look at that. You think I'm going to be able to dunk?

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They work, right? Yeah,

Speaker 1 they do. It wasn't Larry Hughes, by the way.
Remember when I said Larry Hughes? It was somebody else that, like, in the NBA, they, like, endorsed those. I wish it was Larry Hughes.

Speaker 1 Larry Hughes was a dunker. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We had Matt Barnes on the show. It's my guy.
He said that he calls you Big Cat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's up with that? Were you ever going to tell me that? This was like a while ago, and it's really just him

Speaker 1 and you know, a couple other people, and then all my other friends. No,

Speaker 1 it's really just him. I can't remember how he started calling me that.
We should do Big Cat of the Year. Yeah.
And you're in the running for it. You're in the running for both.
Big Cat of the Year.

Speaker 1 One of those. Yes.
If I lose both. If you lose both, it's so.
Honestly, we're getting close to Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 I think the fair way to do it is we're going to hit up both you and Blake Bortles and tell you the week. Like, this is the week.
Okay. And you'll have to be ready.
Oh, gosh. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you have travel plans coming up? I do.

Speaker 1 When are you going away?

Speaker 1 We'll work around your schedule.

Speaker 1 I have to go to like Europe for like a Jordan thing. Okay.
Oh, wow. You have to go to Europe.
Middle of June. That sucks, dude.
It's not like for vacation. I'm not going to be going to see.

Speaker 1 Where is it? Europe.

Speaker 1 South of France. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Monte Carlo. Is it?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, it's Paris. Paris for like a

Speaker 1 thing, and then there's a, you know what? Stop at Nice.

Speaker 1 God damn it. You stopped at Nice for a couple of minutes.
We stop over in Nice, and it's a whole grueling thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. You think Cleveland's bad? Go to Nice.
Jesus. You guys don't want this live.
No, you absolutely don't. It's rocky on the beach there.
You might hit your feet if you walk. It's not that great.

Speaker 1 You can't relax. No.
Be careful. Be careful.

Speaker 1 So, do you watch all the playoff games? Yeah, most of them, yeah. Really? Yeah.
You should do that thing where you just live tweet them and everyone's like, man, Blake Griffin's such a great analyst.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't go. I wouldn't go inside nitpicking every little decision.
It's like, all right, why are they shading so much?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've noticed that's like the majority of the halftime breakdowns is Kenny Smith being like, they didn't switch correctly here. Like, this guy was a quarter second late on the screen.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what, though, I am a sucker for that giant screen. Oh, when they run to the screen.
When Kenny starts to walk in

Speaker 1 and then sh, you know, they just

Speaker 1 do the race. It's just like every time it's just like, that's just funny.

Speaker 1 Guys racing in suits is just, that's, that's good humor. It is.
It is. What do you, what do you guys like when Charles Barkley calls people out?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like he calls someone out every other week. Do you guys actually care?

Speaker 1 I don't care anymore, but I think some guys care for sure. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, how'd you get over that?

Speaker 1 I just got to a point where I was just like,

Speaker 1 it's his job. It's just Charles.
Yeah. And I think it's just the voice, too, that he has.
It's tough to be mad at Charles. Oh, Blake Griffin was terrible tonight.

Speaker 1 but pretty good he was terrible he was terrible

Speaker 1 he was terrible you know kitty

Speaker 1 let me tell you something kenny

Speaker 1 but it does but it does piss some guys off is it just because like you're an old man yeah

Speaker 1 because he I think it's like the way he says it like he'll like when he like is going at somebody he like really like goes at them it's not just like

Speaker 1 he's like taking just like a small shot he's like he'll never you know yeah it's personal and it's yeah absolute yeah

Speaker 1 he was wrong about a a lot of stuff, though. Remember, he was wrong about Yao Ming, and he had to kiss Kenny Smith's ass.
Oh, yeah. That was the bet that they made.

Speaker 1 So Kenny Smith brought out a donkey. And then he kissed the ass of the donkey.
And Kenny Smith was like, you didn't have to kiss my ass's ass, Charles.

Speaker 1 Fuck that one up. Yeah, good old Charles.
I did like the mug shot that they showed of him. Yes.
You see that when he got arrested in Milwaukee?

Speaker 1 How close are you to getting your own podcast? Because I'm worried about that. I'm very close.
Are you serious? I'm right on your guys's heels. No, seriously, though.
No, I think I actually.

Speaker 1 I know you you are. But it won't be like sports, and like it'll be, it'll, I'm gonna go a different direction.
You have guests? Yeah, I'll have guests. I'll have recurring guests.

Speaker 1 That sounds great. I'll have an of the year contest.
So it's gonna be a sports podcast with guests. No, not sports.
Other stuff. Not sports at all? But some sports.
We might talk some sports. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
The guests, the first guest, LeBron James. Yeah.
We won't talk sports, though. Tim Durant, LeBron.
You ever hang out with LeBron?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. One time he was playing Black Jack.
We were in in Vegas for USA, and he was playing Blackjack, and I was standing behind the table.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's pretty cool. That was cool.
That's like a little remake of the shop. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you say anything? Did you cheer for him?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, of course, man.

Speaker 1 Team USA. Yeah, right.
Just hanging out. How do you think

Speaker 1 we're going to have Kevin Durant on the podcast this summer?

Speaker 1 I think. I think.

Speaker 1 How do you think it's going to go when I call him a baby back bitch to his face?

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 wouldn't suggest doing that, but if you do.

Speaker 1 I think we have to. I don't think there's a choice.

Speaker 1 I think you'll be very pleasantly surprised. About what? Just like him, like your interview.
Oh, I already like him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've done a turn on him. We like him a lot, but we do have to say it.
Right, right. And I think maybe I'll just lean back and be like, oh, maybe I'll just, if he hits me, I'll sue.

Speaker 1 That's a good strategy. I mean, you should just really lean into it

Speaker 1 right up front. Well, yes.

Speaker 1 Like, do the thing where you're like, can you clap for us? Yeah. He claps and then just.

Speaker 1 All right, we welcome on our baby back pitch, Kevin Durant. The thing is, if we didn't say it to him, especially Big Cat, if Big Cat didn't say it to him, then he's more of a coward.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I have to rock the throw because he's been saying it behind his back the whole time. Well, he's a little baby cat.
He listens to everything, so not really behind his back.

Speaker 1 Blog boys are in his head.

Speaker 1 Is he an award-winning listener?

Speaker 1 No, I think he's probably listened to some. Yeah, I think he's listening to clips.
He's not our voice. He's Ravelt.
Yeah. Ravel doesn't listen to an episode.

Speaker 1 Ravel passes along the clips that get edited for him to Kevin Durant. It's like a big, like, it's just like a

Speaker 1 reverse snowball melting as it goes down the hill. How online are you compared to Kevin Durant?

Speaker 1 Do you look at the comments? Like, right now, I'm like, I'm very online right now. Yeah.
You're just eyeballs. But during the season, like I said, I think we talked about it.
I try not to be online.

Speaker 1 Okay. Do you just deactivate? No, I don't deactivate it.
Unless I go zero dark 3023 in the playoffs. That's fine.
I haven't done that yet, but I could. It's always in the back pocket.

Speaker 1 That would probably help. Do you like Perfect Booties?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do I?

Speaker 1 I mean, be careful when it goes Zero Dark 3023, and then you get accidentally like a Perfect Booties account. I love that's a thing.
Oh, yeah. Zero Dark 3023.

Speaker 1 Yes. The movie is about capturing Osama bin Laden.
Correct. Yep.
You throw the 23 on there,

Speaker 1 it transforms it into locked in for the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I love it. Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 It actually screws up the time, doesn't it? Because it'd be like zero, dark, 30 minus 23. So it's

Speaker 1 everyone's showing up at the rate at 7. I think it's 23 seconds.
The sun has

Speaker 1 23 seconds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so if they had waited 23 extra seconds, he would have been out the window. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jumping his tall ass over the fence and running away. The whole thing gets do you agree with Terry Rozier when he says that Osam bin Laden should have hooped because he's tall as hell?

Speaker 1 Was that Terry Roger? Yeah, he said it like

Speaker 1 seven years ago. He I was like, damn, he's tall as hell.

Speaker 1 I didn't know. I've seen that quote.
I didn't know that

Speaker 1 that was Terry Roger. Yeah, it's a great quote.
It is a great quote. Honestly, think about it.

Speaker 1 Andrew Kid of Bassett would have saved a lot of lives. Not a suicide movie.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Just like

Speaker 1 Robin Lane was like a ball as life type guy.

Speaker 1 He played out of one shorts and shit.

Speaker 1 Instagram of his wet fucking sky hook. He's got like the Instagram account where he does player impersonations.

Speaker 1 This is Russell Westbrook, and he actually just becomes a terrorist. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 All right. I got one last question.
SeekGeek question. Promo code take.

Speaker 1 He actually looks kind of like. Never mind.
I'm not going to say that. No, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We went all the way on that joke. We went exactly where we needed to go.
Nice try, Brain. Yeah, nice try, but he's not today.
I've got not losing sponsors.

Speaker 1 See Geek is going to love that they're in the middle of it.

Speaker 1 All right, promo code take, $10 off, SeatGeek purchase. I actually don't have a last question.
All right.

Speaker 1 What do you do when you run out of questions? When I run out of questions. That's practice for your podcast.
Oh, for my podcast?

Speaker 1 When I run out of questions,

Speaker 1 I'm going to.

Speaker 1 I haven't thought of that yet. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 see, it's tough. It's really tough.
Cross them up. You could ask somebody a really dumb question, just like about Passport Day, and then hold on to that for the next three months.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then it becomes a shtick. Yeah.
Did you guys get your shoes yet, by the way? You never sent them, so no, no, no, but you know, I used the uh, the service that uh you guys sent my um

Speaker 1 recurring guest.

Speaker 1 You put it on that guy's back, huh? Yeah, there's so much. I'm actually really upset that we asked for shoes because, yeah,

Speaker 1 now it makes sense that you did this. I will, I will send it to you.
No, yeah, yeah, no, you will. Did you ever get your recurring guest shirt? No clue.
We actually

Speaker 1 moved six times

Speaker 1 somewhere in someone's dish rack, you know, that's like underneath their sink. We found like 20 of them, and we were going going to give them out to everybody.

Speaker 1 And we were cleaning up the pile. We found 20 of them in every size, and we're like, What should we do with these? Hand them out, and we're like, No, let's just donate them to charity.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're like, So now we're gonna be some homeless people on the streets in New York. I'm gonna walk

Speaker 1 in. The fuck, man! Come on, yeah,

Speaker 1 his name's gonna be Blake. Yeah, we seriously found him, and we're like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're like, oh shit, that's where they went. Like, because we had a great idea.
We're like, everyone who comes on, we'll send them a shirt.

Speaker 1 And then we sent like two people a shirt, and then we lost all the shirts in the pile.

Speaker 1 yeah well i'm i was in that pile so those shoes though i can't believe you guys fell for that yeah that sucks i can't that was a nice long con last time for the context i don't even think we did it on the air and then i thought you guys were gonna like ask about it during this we forgot yeah so after the show we're like hey blake can we i don't even i think you might have offers well no you you asked on on the show yes when you were gonna get shoes and i said i'll get you shoes and then we went around the room and everybody said their size And remember.

Speaker 1 And we gave you our address and everything. It was a whole fucking thing.

Speaker 1 And I just remembered that we don't have shoes. Okay.
So I'm going to be doing hilarious hijinks like that on my podcast. Turn in.

Speaker 1 Blake's takes. Ooh, that's part of my takes.
Part of my Blake. Part of my Blake.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blake. Are you going to be wearing clothes like that? 100%.
Fake and Blake. Is this your new thing?

Speaker 1 No, I just saw this. I just got a shipment of new Jordan stuff.
And I was like, oh, I got to wear that on the in the van.

Speaker 1 Shake and Blake.

Speaker 1 Are we still doing podcasts? No, he's cool. Blake's in the future.
Boo.

Speaker 1 Honey, when are you going to go out and blake those leaves? And it could be just a place where you can talk about a safe space for guys to get nagged. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 you want to come up to my room and Blake Out? Ooh, that's good. That's a good name for a podcast.
Blake Out session. Yeah, Blake Outs.
Ooh. That's good.
That's really good.

Speaker 1 No, I'm thinking I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 Blake, isn't this name shitty?

Speaker 1 Hey, welcome back to Shitty Night.

Speaker 1 I'm Blake.

Speaker 1 Tomorrow we're going to be talking about the name

Speaker 1 Oliver.

Speaker 1 That really sucks. If your name is Oliver, I feel bad for you.
So this is the part in Grit Week where we've just completely hit a wall.

Speaker 1 They're hallucinating

Speaker 1 interviews. Again, not high.
Yeah, it's crazy. Can I I just share something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Before we started, they were like, yeah, for this episode, we didn't do any

Speaker 1 notes or anything.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, Blake, but have you ever been to a fish concert or a Grateful Dead concert? Those guys know each other so well, they can just riff. Right now, we're jamming.

Speaker 1 I just think, like, they always tell us, hey, don't get bored with the process during the regular season. Oh, dude.
This is like the grittiest of the grit weeks. Damn.

Speaker 1 You have to, like, dig in and find something within yourself

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 okay. No, no, that's fair.
Tell you what. I did prepare earlier for

Speaker 1 Manny Pacquiao. I can ask you a many questions.
Ask me a Manny Pacquiao question.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, if I answer the same as Manny Pacquiao.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll ask you the Manny Pacquiao questions. We did.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've got some extra ones here.

Speaker 1 Why do you hate gay people?

Speaker 1 Next.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
That was a question from Manny Pacquiao that we didn't ask.

Speaker 1 You have eight-inch wrists.

Speaker 1 Yes, I do. Boy, that's a lot of girth.
Yes. Well, it helps me.
I feel bad for your wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It helps me when I fight

Speaker 1 because my wrists are so girthy.

Speaker 1 All right, here's one.

Speaker 1 When you retire, are you going to run for president of the Philippines? Yes, I would like to now take this opportunity to formally announce my

Speaker 1 candidacy. My candidacy.

Speaker 1 I said my presidency. My candidacy for president of the Philippines.
Okay. Thank you for your support.
Why don't you call up Floyd Mayweather Jr.?

Speaker 1 You're going to call him? I don't have a number. Oh, call him out.

Speaker 1 I thought it was Manny Pacquiao.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, no. Why don't you call him out?

Speaker 1 Call him out. Oh, damn.
Do you have no friends?

Speaker 1 I'll shoot you one right now just so that when you get up. I disabled my phone.
Oh, damn.

Speaker 1 I'm going to shoot you one right now so that when you get up, you're like, oh, what I meant. Hey, Manny,

Speaker 1 how come you only drink hot water and room temperature water? Well, because the body is obviously 96 degrees, 97, 98.6. 98.6.
Oh, you didn't go to college for very long.

Speaker 1 That's where they go. The Oklahoma fluid.
In the Philippines, we used a different metric system. You know what the real answer to that is?

Speaker 1 I'm going to educate you a little bit. This might help you out.
So if you drink room temperature water or like 90, not probably 98 degree water. What room are you staying in?

Speaker 1 Just like a hot, if you drink hotter water, it uses less of your body's energy to warm it up,

Speaker 1 to process it. That's actually true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I also heard the like my dog trainer was saying you got to give your dog like cold to like cool water because it like restricts their something and they don't have to pee as much.

Speaker 1 Okay, so fun to do that. That's weird to hire a dog trainer for yourself.
And dogs, dogs are 96. That's what I got.
What kind of dogs are you? Humans are 98. What? What kind of dog do you have?

Speaker 1 I have a German Shepherd. You could just let your dog outside and let it use the bathroom and say, his name is Rook.
Rook? Yeah, like Rookie, but take off the I and the E. I like like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. See, you're not that bad at it with names.
You know, who else owned a German chip?

Speaker 1 Who else owns a German chip? Okay, well, let's end the podcast here. We've run out of stuff to talk about.
Thank you, Blake.

Speaker 1 Real bitch.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides just to be clear i'm there for savings not whatever you think college is for get uber one for students a membership to save on uber and uber eats with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just $4.99 a month savings may vary eligibility and member terms apply and now for something completely different

Speaker 1 okay we now welcome on Chris Manix he was there Ringside on Saturday night when the world was stunned.

Speaker 1 He's going to be there again next Saturday night for Triple G when he fights on Days and you can go buy the app, you can download it and watch all these great fights.

Speaker 1 Chris, we got to start obviously with

Speaker 1 Joshua versus Ruiz Saturday night. People are saying it was like Buster Douglas versus Mike Tyson, not as much of a long shot, probably a little overreaction.

Speaker 1 But what the hell did we watch when we saw an out-of-shape, fat guy basically shock the world and beat the champ off of like out of nowhere.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean biggest upset that that I've ever seen, you're probably right that the Buster Douglas upset was a bigger one,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 5 in today's multimedia world, when you have so many visuals of this chiseled sculpture that is Anthony Joshua and you know, the dad bought of Andy Ruiz,

Speaker 5 it's just hard to fathom a bigger one. There are a couple that are more comparable upsets that people might remember.
You had Asim Rachman knocking out Lennox Lewis a couple of decades ago.

Speaker 5 Corey Sanders stopping Vladimir Klitschko, which I like better because Corey Sanders also had kind of that flabby torso that we saw with Andy Ruiz.

Speaker 5 But I mean, you just had one guy that looks like a great championship boxer. Another guy looks like they just pulled off the couch to fight him.

Speaker 1 So aesthetically, it just you're not going to find many many bigger upsets it was great it was a great visual and with Andy is there any truth to the idea that having a little bit of cushion can be an advantage to like absorbing some of the body blows

Speaker 5 I don't know man but I don't even know that it's it's an advantage because he didn't get hit and the one thing I love about Andy Ruiz is he came into that fight And we would ask him like in the fighter meetings, like, you know, how are you going to stand up to the body shots?

Speaker 5 How are you going to stand up to the big power of Anthony Joshua? He's just, like, I don't know if I'd use the word oblivious, but that's kind of the best way.

Speaker 5 He's kind of still this guy that sort of nods his head and smiles and says, you know, whatever. I mean, I'm just going to come forward.
I'm going to swing.

Speaker 5 And he's going to swing and everything's going to be okay. Like, he just doesn't, he didn't sort of fathom that Anthony Joshua could hurt him.

Speaker 5 I mean, he was down in that fight, but that's the first time he's ever been down. I mean, this is a guy that gets hit a lot, but doesn't seem to be hurt by it.

Speaker 5 So he's, I just don't think it ever occurred to him that Anthony Joshua hurt him with some of those punches.

Speaker 1 So, so, like, the story is also insane. The fact that he basically got the fight because the Instagram DM'd Anthony Joshua's promoter.

Speaker 1 Uh, you know, there were people who were going back through his Instagram history, and it was like Anthony Joshua winning a gold medal, and Andy Ruiz, like, posting on Instagram how he just took a big shit and he was laughing about it.

Speaker 1 Like, this, it's so funny watching them side by side. So, you're, you're, you're calling the fight.
You're talking to these guys beforehand. Was there any part of you that thought this could happen?

Speaker 5 No, honestly.

Speaker 5 You know, Ruiz, like,

Speaker 5 I didn't dump all over Ruiz as much as kind of other people did because I, you know, covering boxing, you know who Andy Ruiz is.

Speaker 5 And I knew when he was coming up the ranks that he was once a pretty good prospect. And watching him fight over the years, you knew that he had fought some really good fighters.

Speaker 5 The only loss he'd ever taken was in his first title shot he'd lost it by like one round it was a tough uh tough loss uh to joseph park so i know he could fight uh a little bit but i i didn't think he'd be able to take the power of anthony joshua and you saw it in the third round of the fight he took that massive left hand put him on the canvas and you're watching it he gets up and it's like wow he got up but there's no way he's going to be able to stay up.

Speaker 5 I mean, Anthony Joshua, one of the best aspects of his game is that he is this kind of composed and patient finisher. He doesn't rush in wildly.

Speaker 5 He takes his time and he picks you apart, and that's how he gets knockouts throughout his career.

Speaker 5 He came in and I thought he'd land something big, and Andy Ruiz got up and sure as shit, he just punched right back and landed those big shots that changed the course of the fight.

Speaker 5 You talk about what the best things I've seen. That third round was one of the best rounds I've ever seen.

Speaker 5 Watching Andy Ruiz, you know, with his big fat midsection, getting off the deck and coming back and blasting away at Anthony Joshua was really a sight to see.

Speaker 1 Is that, in your opinion, that's like, was there a light bulb that went on for Ruiz where he's like, I can, you know, I can do this.

Speaker 1 When he got up and he was able to kind of fight back when it was a make-or-break scenario for him in that round,

Speaker 1 was there like a moment where you saw him gain a little bit of that confidence? He's like, I can do this.

Speaker 5 Oh, 100%. I mean, I think it's when he landed.

Speaker 5 I think there was a temple shot to Anthony Joshua there, and you saw Joshua stumble a little bit, kind of sideways, and you knew he was discombobulated in that moment.

Speaker 5 And one thing Ruiz had confidence in coming into the fight is that it's not like Joshua has got this great reputation of having a granite chin.

Speaker 5 I mean, his biggest fight to date was against Vladimir Klitschko, and Vladimir put him on the deck. But in previous fights, he'd been buckled pretty badly.

Speaker 5 He fought Dillian White in one of his bigger fights earlier in his career. And he got wobbled.
His last fight against Alexander Povetkin, first round, he was buckled pretty pretty badly.

Speaker 5 Andy Ruiz knew coming in that if he landed the right shot, he could hurt Anthony Joshua. And, you know, the one thing about watching Joshua is that he's 6'6 ⁇ , but he fights like he's 5'10.

Speaker 5 Like he doesn't use that height to his advantage. And people that follow boxing, whether it's Lennox Lewis, who was like 6'6 ⁇ , 6'7, Vladimir Klitschko, same thing.
They fought like big men.

Speaker 5 They used that jab and they kept you off him. Anthony Joshua just couldn't keep Andy Ruiz from charging in at him.

Speaker 5 And once Ruiz landed that first big shot, I just think he knew that there was blood in the water.

Speaker 1 I like that saying that you used because anytime there's an upset, you usually get a handful of people that say, like, those of us who follow the fight game aren't surprised by this one.

Speaker 1 I haven't heard a single person say that about this fight. Everyone's surprised.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. But I mean, the biggest surprise, though, is

Speaker 5 just that is just what Ruiz's chin was.

Speaker 5 Like, he in one thing Andy said coming in, he said in his last championship fight, the one I mentioned against Joseph Parker, he was really upset with himself that he didn't let his hands go towards the end of the fight.

Speaker 5 If he had, and his promoter had told me the same thing, his previous promoter, he believes he would have won that fight.

Speaker 5 And as everybody else that knows him believes it, he said over and over to us coming in, I'm not going to have that problem this fight. I'm letting my hands go.

Speaker 5 So sure, as I'm sitting there listening to him say that, I'm like, all right, we can let your hands go. You're going to catch something big coming back.
And there's no way that, you know,

Speaker 5 this block of cheese here is going to be able to stand up to Anthony Joshua.

Speaker 5 But when he got off the deck and took that first punch and rallied after it, that was the one thing I don't think anybody expected.

Speaker 5 I think we expected him to give Joshua problems with his speed and his skill because, like I said earlier,

Speaker 5 he is and has been a pretty good prospect, but I don't think anyone believed he would take that big shot and be able to keep coming forward.

Speaker 1 So the one thing that is kind of like Buster Douglas and his upset with Mike Tyson, which was, again, 42 to 1, which is a lot different than it was anywhere from 11 to 1 to 14 to 1 last night.

Speaker 1 But the one thing that is similar is the Douglas Tyson fight was supposed to be a tune-up for Tyson to fight Evander Holyfield, and you had the two undefeated guys going in the prime.

Speaker 1 This one feels like we got robbed again because it was supposed to be Anthony Joshua and Deontay Wilder at some point fighting being, you know, the kind of big-time heavyweight fight that you don't get very often.

Speaker 1 And now that luster has been taken away. Do you think, like, did boxing lose a little bit last night?

Speaker 1 Obviously, the story is unbelievable, but not having that, you know, those two guys be able to fight undefeated.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 5 I would be more disappointed if the Wilder fight was set up for the next one. If this was, as you said, kind of an official tune-up.

Speaker 5 We knew coming in we weren't going to get. the Deontay Wilder fight until at least 2020.
So in a way, it kind of makes the rest of 2019 more exciting because we're going to get a rematch with Ruiz.

Speaker 5 And I think there'll be a lot more hype for a rematch with Reese than there would be for whatever Joshua's next fight was going to be.

Speaker 5 You had a mandatory defense against a guy named Kubrak Pulev or somebody else fighting overseas. This at least creates more intrigue.

Speaker 5 But long term, yeah, I mean, you're just pissed off because we are deprived of what would have been the biggest fight in boxing that can be made today, a fight that I thought would be the biggest fight in the heavyweight division really since some of the big fights they had in the 1990s.

Speaker 5 We're not going to get that. The aura of invincibility around Anthony Joshua is gone.
And look, it was always a big risk.

Speaker 5 One thing about these heavyweights that we love and what makes this division more fun than it's been in a while is that they're all vulnerable. I mean, Yonke Wilder went on social media.

Speaker 5 He was acting like a pretty big dick when he was going after

Speaker 5 Anthony Joshua, but he's vulnerable. Like he's got a chin that's been suspect.
Tyson Fury, great personality, but he's got a chin that's been suspect.

Speaker 5 You knew that if these guys waited too long to face each other, something like this could happen. And sure enough, you know, here we had last night.

Speaker 1 Yep. So, for somebody who's not a student of the fight game, like hypothetically myself, I'm just asking about myself.

Speaker 1 Who is the last big upset,

Speaker 1 you know, somebody that gained a title that went on to defend that title in the rematch?

Speaker 5 Oh, that's a good question.

Speaker 5 On this level,

Speaker 5 I don't know. I don't know that there's been,

Speaker 5 I don't know that there's been somebody that has been this big an underdog and has been able to defend it that next time out. I mean,

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 the frankness here, guys, is that if he's able to defend it, it wouldn't be that big a shock.

Speaker 5 I mean, they're going to have the rematch in November, December, probably in Wembley Stadium, you know, 80,000 strong in the UK.

Speaker 5 I mean, one thing about Anthony Joshua, when he constructs deals with opponents, he has you by the short hairs with some of these. Like he,

Speaker 5 you know, if you lose, if he loses, he's going to have you on his home turf in his hometown

Speaker 5 in a rematch type of fight. But it goes back to what I said about Andrew Ruiz.
He's just kind of oblivious. I mean, there were, you know, 18,000, 19,000

Speaker 5 fans in the garden on Saturday night, and Andrew Ruiz didn't seem aware of any of them.

Speaker 5 He just sort of rolls into the ring, big smile on his face, yada, yada, yada, and just goes out and just boxes the fight of his life.

Speaker 5 I think he's going to go into the UK, you know, sometime later this year and have that same type of attitude. And

Speaker 5 I think if Anthony Joshua doesn't substantially change, and I go back, I mentioned the fight with Corey Sanders and Vladimir Klitschko.

Speaker 5 After that fight, Vladimir Klitschko hired Emmanuel Stewart, and Emmanuel Stewart changed the career of Vladimir Klitschko. He taught him how to fight like a big man.

Speaker 5 Anthony Joshua might need something like that because this is a career moment.

Speaker 5 If Anthony Joshua loses the second time to Andy Ruiz, I don't know how it's recoverable, but I don't believe that it would be a stunner, is what I'm saying, if Andy Ruiz is able to do it and repeat what we saw Saturday.

Speaker 1 The biggest thing Andy Ruiz has to go against is the Buster Douglas, like, don't put on too much weight and

Speaker 1 get all the endorsements and everything. All right, last question.

Speaker 1 We're talking to Chris Manix. He called the fight on Saturday night for days, and you can go download it right now.

Speaker 1 They got a great fight coming up next Saturday with Triple G, who's also a recurring guest. So my last question is, Chris, you have obviously know about our rough and rowdy league.

Speaker 1 You wrote a story about it. We talked in the past.
Does Andy Ruiz winning open the door for future rough and rowdy champions for possibly getting the heavyweight championship?

Speaker 1 Should we make the heavyweight championship

Speaker 1 unify the belt with the rough and rowdy belt? Because this was, Andy Ruiz is basically a rough and rowdy fighter

Speaker 5 he's he's a hundred percent I swear to God I thought of that during the build-ups of the fight yeah I was down there what was it in Charlotte yes a couple years ago and as I gotta say not no bullshit that was one of the more fun experiences that I've had you know going down there and just watching these guys blast away each other how fast guys move them along where it's like one big knockout and here comes the next guy in the ring.

Speaker 5 I met the milkman down there for the first time, which is one of the great experiences of my

Speaker 5 career. down there.
Andy Ruiz looks like a guy that should be down there. It's like an opportunity to market to bring Andy Ruiz to the next barstool thing.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 Especially if you have one out in California. Yes, if you have a big heavyweight and you have guys down there that look like Andy Ruiz and have a big heavyweight who wins by dominant fashion,

Speaker 5 if you interview him, he should call out Andy Ruiz. Sometime in your next one, over the next six to eight months, it's going to take that long to

Speaker 5 have Ruiz defend that title. Either bring Andy Ruiz Ruiz to Rough and Rowdy or have your champion call out Andy Ruiz.

Speaker 1 But obviously, Andy Ruiz is a far superior athlete than anything we've had in Rough and Rowdy.

Speaker 1 But the one thing that is similar is that we have had heavyweight fighters at Rough and Rowdy who have similar chins and that they'll just eat punches and eat punches and eat punches and like not move.

Speaker 1 And like there is something about those type of guys that if they can just eat punches, eventually

Speaker 1 they'll connect with one and it's lights out.

Speaker 5 Yeah, of course. It is.
The biggest difference is that one thing I noticed being down there is all of my notebooks, like 45 seconds in. These guys were gasping.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 They all think they know what it's like to be in the ring over. And it's funny, watch these guys like, you know, I did a bunch of interviews down there.

Speaker 5 It's like this guy, one guy's a Marine, and one guy's like

Speaker 5 the Anthony Joshua types, guys that look like they're in tremendous shape. All of a sudden, at the 50-second mark, they're just dragging ass down there.

Speaker 1 This is true.

Speaker 1 It's true.

Speaker 5 Keep going. So I think if Andy Ruiz fought a rough and rowdy guy, he could just move around the ring for 50 seconds and then knock the guy out at 61 seconds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, push him over. All right, both these guys in their primes.
Andy Ruiz, Butterbean. Who wins? Oh,

Speaker 5 one thing I thought was

Speaker 5 there's a lot of stuff up there. Like, Andrew Ruiz compared to Butterbean, which is so stupid.

Speaker 1 Like, because Butterbean's a legend? Oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Okay, never mind.

Speaker 5 No, but Andrew Weeds, Andrew Reed is like a.

Speaker 5 Andrew Ruiz flattens Butterbean, I think, at some point. I think in a professional boxing match, he goes 12 rounds.
I think Andrew Ruiz puts Butterbean down.

Speaker 5 Butterbean, you know, knocks out Johnny Knoxville and jackass in the middle of the store. Like, that's Adrian Ruiz flattens him in the ring.

Speaker 1 No, he knocked out. Who'd he fight again? He fought Ken Shamrock, I think.
He did. He had a couple dissipated.
He has no neck, so he can absorb those punches. Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's just a diss, you put the guy in there for longer than one round. I think it would go badly for Butterbean towards the end of that fight.

Speaker 1 I think he fought Bart Gunn. I can't remember.
He fought a bunch of people. He knocked out a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 It was the best when he would fight somebody that they would just set up fights against somebody that was really attractive because it was so much fun watching Butterbean just like beat the shit out of a Kindle.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He got hit a lot, though, didn't he? Toward the end,

Speaker 1 he got

Speaker 5 blasted on there. I don't know if he'd hold up the Andy Ruiz.
Andrew Ruiz's greatest strength,

Speaker 5 in this hypothetical, like who cares? But Andy Ruiz's greatest strength is hand speed, man. Like, Joshua didn't see any of those punches coming.
Like, he just threw them.

Speaker 5 in bunches and when he connected with one he connected with four or five that's how he put joshua down it wasn't like wild or two weeks ago, we saw him just put Dominic Brazile down with a brutal right hand.

Speaker 5 Andy Reese puts you down with like five, six punches that just get you before you see any one of them coming.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's again, it was definitely tongue-in-cheek, but it is true. Like, boxing, even compared to MMA, when you look at the UFC versus boxing, the hand speed is just night and day.

Speaker 1 That's why the boxers are boxers because they can fucking punch as fast as they can. It's insane to watch.
Chris Mannix, thanks so much. This was, how about a start for Daisy?

Speaker 1 And I know you guys have been around for a little bit, but man,

Speaker 1 some might even be asking questions. Was this a setup?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I left that fight.

Speaker 5 You always want to see the marquee attraction if you're a disone guy, see the marquee attraction

Speaker 5 win and move on. But that highlight was everywhere.

Speaker 5 Everyone's talking about it on social media in the aftermath. I mean, we're talking about the biggest upset in maybe 30 years.

Speaker 5 It's hard to think that that wasn't a good idea.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and the watermark was on all those videos immediately, too. Also, so I just heard you pronounce it Dazone.
Yeah, I keep fucking up. That's a long-embraced debate that we've had here.

Speaker 1 Is it D-A-A-Z-N, Daisen, Dazone? What is the correct nomenclature?

Speaker 5 Officially, they call it Dazone, yes. Dazone.

Speaker 1 Dazone.

Speaker 1 They're never going to get that right. They're going to catch up as fast as they can in the U.S.
All right, we got it. Dazone, that was actually, that's an important distinction that we got there.

Speaker 1 Chris Mannix, thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.

Speaker 5 Hey, fellas, now that I'm back at Sports Elster and I have already pitched a chance to go back and write something new about Ruffin Rowdy.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 5 Back there at the next one soon.

Speaker 1 Hell yes. Hell yes.
Thanks, man.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. We have starting off problematic.
So we mentioned this in Who's Back, but every quarterback in the National Football League is chugging beers irresponsibly.

Speaker 1 Mitch Trubisky did it very fast, might I add. Patrick Mahomes did it.
Josh Allen did it. Did it? No, Patrick Mahomes chugged a

Speaker 1 light claw. A truly.
It was a truly. He went claws up.
It was a truly. And

Speaker 1 it was pretty quick.

Speaker 1 Sponsor. It was pretty quick.

Speaker 1 I'll be frank. Patrick Mahomes was faster than I thought he'd be.
Yeah. But still not great.
So that's everyone's sex life.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's pretty much that's about it for me.
Well, no. I agree, though.
Like, come on, Quarter. You're supposed to be the face of a franchise, not the liver.

Speaker 1 TV 12 is going to show up to game five in Boston and just put all these

Speaker 1 poor boys as shit. I hope not.

Speaker 1 Mitch chugged it pretty fast.

Speaker 1 The only problem what Mitch did was you can't chug it next to an offensive lineman. Because an offensive lineman, Kyle Long, friend of the program, was like,

Speaker 1 he just sucked that thing. It's still slightly horizontal, though.
You've got to go full vertical, full vertical. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so then what if TB12 doesn't go full vertical? Well, Tom Brady can chug a beer. We've seen that.
That's true. Well, we've heard.
No, he did that on the

Speaker 1 table. Yeah, and then we got John Taffer to analyze whether or not it was real beer.
That's right. right.
According to him, it was. That's right.

Speaker 1 But it's problematic. I'm waiting for the, someone's going to do that.
Someone's going to be like, this is a bad

Speaker 1 tone to set for the children of America to drink their beer so fast. I agree.
It's binge drinking. No coincidence.
You're being a bad leader.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to represent an entire city, and all these kids at home are going to be like, wow, that, hey, maybe if I can drink beer, I'll be cool too. Well, yeah, you will.

Speaker 1 That's kind of how it works. They should really work this into the game.
Like, instead of a two-point conversion, your quarterback just has to chug a beer faster than their quarterback.

Speaker 1 Then you get the two points. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or maybe that's how they, yeah, I don't know how they need to do it, but they need to have it in the game so that we not only get like actual plays get decided by chugging beer, but then we get like a drunk Kirk Cousins off two beers.

Speaker 1 Also, Johnny Manzanzzz. Maybe he's like Peter Griffin when he gets drunk.
He's just a genius. He actually completes passes.
Well, then Johnny Manzo would be signed immediately. That's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have that Jamarcus Russell impact player. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I want a quarterback that can chug a 40 faster than they can run one. Yeah, I I like that.

Speaker 1 I mean, wouldn't it be great, though, if football figured out a way? Like, I don't know, maybe just preseason. Test it out in the preseason.
Instead of extra points, it's chugging beers.

Speaker 1 Get rid of kickers, or I'll have the kickers chug the beer. Oh, my God, that'd be fun.
Well, Sebastian Janikowski, actually, they should just bring Seabass back as a quarterback if that's the rule.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and just let him chug for everything. Doesn't even have to be a rule.
He's just chugging.

Speaker 1 He actually strikes me as a guy that would have just an IV of vodka on the sidelines, just wheeling around with him if it was acceptable.

Speaker 1 Oh, breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Hank, what do you got for breaking moves? Blake Griffin is officially not being traded. Oh,

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 if you, I hope you listened to the Blake Griffin interview because it was hilarious, but we put in a little nugget there for everyone when he tweeted out the eyeballs emoji on Sunday. Yeah, he did.

Speaker 1 Which he did. He did earlier today.
And everyone started freaking out, and people said, well, he's been asking for a trade, so it makes sense for the Hawks.

Speaker 1 And there were message boards, and everyone. I don't know why the Hawks

Speaker 1 were the hot team, but that's just kind of how the weird world of NBA Twitter works. Yeah, yeah.
It's because Trey Young also tweeted, like, separately from that.

Speaker 1 He was like, it's crazy how fast things change.

Speaker 1 Whoa,

Speaker 1 people are connecting dots that didn't exist. This league.
Damn. What was the breaking moves brought to you by?

Speaker 1 The breaking moves was brought to you by chocolate milk. Isn't that right, PFT? Yes.
Well, Hank, now that you have.

Speaker 1 Hang on, hang on. I'm trying to figure out how the fuck...
What is this ad, Reed? I don't get it. Keep all this in.
Keep all this in. Do it.
Read it. This This is good ad space for chocolate milk.

Speaker 1 All right. So here's the ad.
Well, Hank, now that you've gotten the hang of reading words, for the most part, let's see how you do stringing a sentence together.

Speaker 1 At Built with Chocolate Milk, we love stories about recovery, so let's play a little game. We'll give you two words.
You tell us a story about recovery using those words.

Speaker 1 We'll start easy. This week's words are colloquial and thirst-quenching.
Ooh. Okay.

Speaker 1 Go.

Speaker 1 I was at the gym in my building three days ago. Okay.

Speaker 1 crushing some shoulders, a little bit of bias. Oh, you're going back to the boulders for shoulders? Permanently.
I'm in a permanent

Speaker 1 state of searching for boulders. The boulders? On your side? About that rock life? I'm about the boulder acquisition life.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I had a colloquial stress in my

Speaker 1 right shoulder.

Speaker 1 But thankfully. I like how you nailed it.
I was like, Billy, afterwards, I was a small stress.

Speaker 1 Thirst quenching chocolate milk to help repair my colloquial stress in my right arm. And now I feel great.
So thank you to chocolate milk.

Speaker 1 I like how Hank used the word colloquial to mean collar and like local. Yes.
Like a local injury to my collar is.

Speaker 1 What would you say Clay Thompson's hamstring?

Speaker 1 Minorly colloquial.

Speaker 1 I'd agree, doctor. Learn more at builtwithchocolate milk.com.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Actually, speaking of the

Speaker 1 prognosis, the doctors, did you guys see one of my favorite things in all sports is when fans will say like their injury and be like, well, if he's not back fast enough, some guy tweeted me, calf injuries are no joke.

Speaker 1 It took me a month to come back from mine, but I'm 75% fatter than Kevin Durant. If he's not back by game four, he's officially soft in my book.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, listen, if you sprained your thumb playing Halo, then you know exactly what Steph Curry's finger injuries are. It was the best when Derek Rose

Speaker 1 got his first injury. People would call into Chicago sports radio and be like, well, I tore my ACL and I was playing golf within eight months.
So

Speaker 1 he should definitely be able to cut on a dime. And that's the same guy that's just like,

Speaker 1 if you go back in history, like 30 years, we didn't have terms like ACL. No, you just died.
You got your ACL.

Speaker 1 It was my knee blew out. Yeah.
And then it was it. You were like, I was all state, and then my knee blew out.
Yeah, I blew my knee out. Or it's like, I threw my arm out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, that just means you don't have a UCL anymore. Yeah, Tommy John just hasn't been invented yet.
Yeah, my hand is just permanently tingling at my side.

Speaker 1 But I was like, it's like the stranger from now on. Yeah, yeah.
Once you blow your knee out, back in the day, it was over. Blew it out.
I threw my back out one time. Yeah.
Boom. Done.

Speaker 1 Just shoot them like a horse.

Speaker 1 All right, we have talking soccer, Liverpool one. And that was talking soccer.
Also, there was a streaker who was attractive. Yeah, it was a nice little change of pace.
It was very nice.

Speaker 1 Motion to not qualify them as a streaker if they're wearing clothes. Ah, she might have had a slip.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think the nipple.

Speaker 1 I think if Mr. Nipple shows up, now this is an advantage to those of us of three, so I could be wearing a sports bra.
As long as my third and fourth, I'm still a streaker. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 But I must confess, I did not examine the woman's streaker to see if she had four nipples. Yeah.
So she could have been streaker. That was a terrible game, by the way.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I love Yogo Benito, but that was a gross game.

Speaker 1 It was kind of cool in the first 30 seconds

Speaker 1 When he just kicked the ball out the guy's arm, the dude's arm was out, and he was like, I'm just going to aim at it. And then, of course, you're like, oh, a goal to start.

Speaker 1 Because, like, soccer, if you get a goal early, then everyone presses and all this stuff. And you're like, this is going to be awesome.

Speaker 1 Nope, not another goal for another fucking 86 minutes or whatever it was. But Liverpool, good job.
Yeah. You won.
Yes. You won.
You won one of the things. Yeah, you won a big

Speaker 1 one. With PST, what happened with USA rugby? Oh, USA.
Interesting. USA rugby.
Good point, Hank. Won second place

Speaker 1 in the world.

Speaker 1 And so they are now.

Speaker 1 We're still in first? No, that's the end of the entire season. We're in first.
So we finished second. We finished second.
All that for fucking second? We finished second? Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Hey, I thought we had to do that. It's way higher than we've ever finished.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All we had to do was beat Fiji by a little bit, and we would have won.
Yeah, Fiji's the best country in the world. Oh, so that, okay, got it.
Well, good point, Hank. Not bringing that.

Speaker 1 It was very mysterious that that wasn't brought up. It would have led the show.
It would have been like absolutely.

Speaker 1 Today's Monday, June 3rd. And USA Rugby is number one by finishing two

Speaker 1 all year long. We had a tough injury.
What was going to be funny was if the U.S. had been...
No, we didn't actually want to talk about

Speaker 1 it. No, but listen.

Speaker 1 If the U.S. had beaten Fiji,

Speaker 1 and Fiji had finished fourth and the U.S. had finished second,

Speaker 1 we would have won the entire thing

Speaker 1 by finishing second. What if?

Speaker 1 All we had to do was win and we would have won, right? Yeah. All we had to do was win one, and we would have won.
In rugby, I say this all the time. In rugby, you can't win and lose at the same time.

Speaker 1 Right. You can just finish second all the time.
You can win second. And maybe sometimes

Speaker 1 have Fiji finish low enough to win it all. You can win second and sometimes still lose first.
Right. And that's what happened to us.
That sucks. Learned a tough lesson that way this weekend.

Speaker 1 All right. Before we get to our Monday reading, Trouble in Paradise.
Odell Beckham is already upset at the Browns. Maybe.
Well, yeah, that's a spicy take. Yeah.
So he's not at OTAs.

Speaker 1 Freddie Kitchens is not happy. Nope.
He's like, I wish he was here to learn the offense. It is a little weird.
It's one of those things that Odell Beckham, I I do think he gets lumped into

Speaker 1 when everyone's like, oh, yeah, the Primadonna wide receiver and the guys who detract from the team, he's very emotional, but he doesn't really, he doesn't do the Antonio Brown, like throwing the ball at Ben Rothesberger and then not showing up for week 17.

Speaker 1 I wish he would throw the ball at Ben Rothesperger. Yeah, that'd be great.
But he will have a chance probably with a trick play maybe this year. But it is weird that he's not showing up.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you kind of want your guy to show up. Yeah, it's OTAs, so like Kitchens doesn't know that you're not allowed to say the quiet part loudly.
Right. Which is he needs to be here for OTAs.

Speaker 1 Wasn't there a quote like

Speaker 1 they're optional, but so is winning? Or something? That's true. That's very true.
I want to use this occasion to point out maybe a more serious issue, and that's that Tom Brady isn't at OTAs either.

Speaker 1 So is this the beginning of the end for the Patriots? You can see his Instagrams. He's been putting on a fucking clinic.
Yeah, can you? A real season clinic. Yeah, like on the beach.

Speaker 1 He's like out in California. You can't accomplish anything.
Best buddies spent with Julian Edelman, Guy Fieri, helping the kids out. You can't spend a week in California and accomplish anything, Hank.

Speaker 1 You don't like charity.

Speaker 1 Best buddies. Come on, the videos of him on the beach and full pads and the helmet are as inspiring as it gets.
Did you guys see, like, it takes vacation to the next level?

Speaker 1 It's like, damn, he's on vacation and he's still grinding. Did you guys see the NFL network ran the QB competition marathon on Saturday? It was incredible.
Jim Harbaugh took it way too seriously.

Speaker 1 Of course. And, like, some of these quotes, like, Scott Mitchell was so fat.
I forgot. Like, I kind of, because he got really fat after.
Yeah, I saw him on Biggest Loser.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was on Biggest Loser. So you're like, oh, man, that's really fat, Scott Mitchell.
But you forget that he was really fat in the game while he was playing.

Speaker 1 And sometimes you lose track of how fat some of these guys are because in the mid-90s, everybody wore a quadruple XL white t-shirt. Yeah.
Like with graphics printed on the front.

Speaker 1 They looked, you know, how sorority girls dress now? Yeah. With the giant baggy t-shirts and the Nike shorts? That was actually the standard issue for a starting quarterback.
Quarter looks good.

Speaker 1 From like the NFC Central between the years 1992 and 97. By the way,

Speaker 1 while I was watching it, there's a Blake of the Year nominee that we need to get in touch with, Jeff Blake. Forgot all about him.
Yeah. It was hilarious.
The quotes are like, we found our quarterback.

Speaker 1 Quarterback of the future for the Bengals. He was okay for like a year.
Yeah, he made a Pro Bowl.

Speaker 1 So, all right, let's do our Monday reading. This one's a doozy.

Speaker 1 Let's start. So it comes from...

Speaker 1 It came from the Twitter relationship text. So I think it came from a Reddit forum.
And it's,

Speaker 1 the title is, My Boyfriend, 28 Male, wants me 27 female to take a dump in front of him to prove that i'm not cheating okay respect set the table there respect all right we start with i've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now i live alone and he frequently spends the night at my apartment we have a healthy trusting relationship however i'm aware that his previous girlfriend cheated on him red flag number one prior to this week he has never expressed expressed any lack of trust in me my apartment is fairly old so it takes a while for the water to heat up.

Speaker 1 Sometimes while I'm waiting for the shower to get warm, I take a dump.

Speaker 1 It's just weird to say I take a dump for a girl, but whatever. That's fine.
I don't want to flush the toilet and screw up the water temperature. My butt pukes.
So I'll take a dump. No, it's a little

Speaker 1 flower comes out of my tukkis. So I'll take a dump, shower, and then flush the toilet.
A few days ago, I spent longer than usual. That's a dangerous game real quick.

Speaker 1 So it's a very dangerous game, especially

Speaker 1 if you're at a stranger's house or like in-laws or something like that, and you do the move where it's like, I'm not going to flush the toilet after I'm done pooping because I don't want to affect the water.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Probably 40% of the time, you're going to forget to flush your toilet, and then the next person in there is going to be in for a whole bowl of Hershey's treats.

Speaker 1 The grossest thing ever is to walk into a bathroom and just have a shit there. It's like where you feel like you're at a bar at 2 a.m.

Speaker 1 I've done that before, and let me tell you, just make sure, just deal with the hot water. Yeah, so yeah, it's definitely a good tip to just deal with the hot water.
So

Speaker 1 she says, yeah, a few days ago, I spent longer than usual washing my hair and just completely forgot to flush when I left the shower. I know, I know, I am a wild animal who deserves to live in a barn.

Speaker 1 Let's move on. She even pointed out that we're going to actually stick on this part too long because we just did.
Because we did.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 you fucking psycho. But you left behind evidence.
You left your poop. That you pooped.
I don't think you realized you left your poop. Let's move on.
All right.

Speaker 1 Anyway, my boyfriend came over later that night. He went to the bathroom, stayed in there for a few minutes without making any sound, and then emerged with a completely dead look on his face.

Speaker 1 He asked whose shit was in the toilet.

Speaker 1 That's...

Speaker 1 This is... The boyfriend, like, you just got to flush it and pretend it didn't happen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I understand what the guy's going through because if it was a really gnarly one and he walked in, he's like, what?

Speaker 1 It's actually a compliment to you that he didn't believe that something so vile could come out of his sweet little girlfriend's butt. Right.

Speaker 1 I was mortified and explained that I had forgotten to flush, but he just kept on asking whose shit it was to the point where it became obvious he wasn't trying to tease me.

Speaker 1 Then he said, what guy shit in your toilet? That must have been a hell of a shit. A hell of a dump.
You should have taken a picture. Yeah.
I guarantee you. And sent it to your friends.

Speaker 1 Well, he probably took it. If you want to be a real guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
I bet you.

Speaker 1 Everyone has had that moment,

Speaker 1 and this is going to probably end up getting me more poop texts, but everyone's had that moment in their group text chain with some of their friends where you get that phase of people sending each other shits, and you're like, This has got to end sometime.

Speaker 1 I've been on multiple threads that are basically just devoted to sending pictures of your shit to your friends. Yeah, the one I'm thinking about right now.
That's why Snapchat was invented, right?

Speaker 1 To send your buddies pictures of your shit that will disappear.

Speaker 1 And now that they have like millions of people using it, they're like, We need to figure out how to improve the world with an app that was designed just to show pictures of the inside of my butthole to my frat brother.

Speaker 1 This is this was a bad

Speaker 1 part was a bad decision on my part because I like am thinking of one of my best friends right now who's probably listening to this moment and is going to shit and then send the shit to the group text.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, we were over this five years ago. We moved on.

Speaker 1 I'm just, I'm laughing, thinking about the boyfriend walking in there, looking at the bowl filled with shit, and the first thought is like, this is a guy's shit.

Speaker 1 I can spot a guy's shit. I've probably been a guy's shit my whole life.
He got like right up to the bowl.

Speaker 1 He probably took pictures and then started getting different angles of it so he can make a 3D model of his shit with

Speaker 1 going like CSI forensic on it. All right.
So,

Speaker 1 we back to the guy saying, what guy shit in your toilet? I don't remember her eating corn earlier today. She replies, by now, I was completely bewildered.

Speaker 1 I told him again that I had just forgotten to flush. He replied that I was a liar and that no girl could take a dump that big.
He was completely serious. It's like the Salem witch trials.

Speaker 1 I fucking love this guy. No chick can take this fucking dump.

Speaker 1 I couldn't believe I was in this conversation. I couldn't even get upset or angry.
I just said, like an idiot, but it's my shit.

Speaker 1 This is the greatest conversation. I mean, that's the only response you can have.
Yeah, but you don't understand. It's my shit.
Look at my underwear. It's still got runs.
Prove it.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend walked out

Speaker 1 without another word and ignored my calls for the rest of the night. He logs on to WebMD to try to find pictures of girls.

Speaker 1 What is Google? What is the biggest shit a girl can take?

Speaker 1 The next day, he agreed to meet for lunch. Wow, that's very nice of him.
Yeah, wow. So he's still letting you eat after you shit that that much?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he apologized for leaving in such a rush, but said he still couldn't believe me when I said it was my own shit. He said he was willing to give me a second chance.
That's very nice of him.

Speaker 1 If I could prove it. I didn't really understand what he was getting at.
So he elaborated that he wanted to see me take a dump in front of him to prove that my shit actually looked like that.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Prove it. It is the Salem witch trials.
So what's going to happen is, so he was so disgusted by seeing that shit.

Speaker 1 So what he's going to do is he's going to make you prove, like they used to throw the women into the water, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And if the woman sunk, it was like, ah, that's too bad, but at least she's not a witch.

Speaker 1 So he's going to have you take that shit, and one way or the other, it's either going to come out too small, and he'll be like, I knew it. I knew you were a witch.

Speaker 1 Or it's going to come out huge and he'll be like, fuck, I have to break up with you. Yeah, I can't, but I can't.

Speaker 1 But thanks for not cheating on you. Yeah, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 That was yesterday. I have absolutely no idea what to do.
I guess we could compromise, and I could take a dump in the toilet, then call him in to see it. It's a good compromise.

Speaker 1 This is just too weird and bizarre and gross. It's a win-win.
I seriously love this man.

Speaker 1 You do love this man. The fact that you're even like contemplating staying in this relationship, but I'm honestly at a complete loss.
He's made it clear that this is a deal breaker for him. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Just show him two girls one cup. That proves that some girls can take some nasty cake farts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can do that.

Speaker 1 Bubba, you've got two girls one cup, right? Yeah. Yeah, we showed it to him.
No, I don't know. I mean, no, delete that.
We did not show

Speaker 1 our intern at the time two girls one cup yeah we never did that uh this is gonna be a great great toast at the wedding oh be like i knew i knew that he she she was the one for me when i saw that fudge dragon crawl on its way out when she took another dump to make to to prove to me that she wasn't seeing another guy i want to know what happened to this guy in his past how he caught his girlfriend cheating on him before because it sounds like it definitely had something to do with shit yeah oh yeah some dude the the dude who cucked him the last time was taking monster dumps.

Speaker 1 A guy came over and took the most impressive shit he's ever seen in his life in his toilet. He can't

Speaker 1 but to turn the girl over. The real question is, what do you eat now? Like the girl has to perform.
This is the biggest shit of her life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen, I've got a little formula that's worked for me in the past. Okay.
It's the number six value meal at Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 Whoa. No, I'm just saying it makes it for an impressive exit.
Mm-hmm. Hank? It feels just as good going out as it does going.
Hank, thoughts?

Speaker 1 I had Taco Bell this weekend. It was delicious.
Yeah. No days off.
Did you poop your pants? No. I didn't poop my pants because of Taco Bell.
Never have. Yeah, you hank your shit.
Oh, exactly.

Speaker 1 What we call it. Just in-and out.
When you poop your pants, it's called a hank.

Speaker 1 It's called the colloquial hank. I wasn't saying that it makes you poop your pants.
I'm just saying, like, you can have some real impressive dukes with it.

Speaker 1 But what you really need to do is you need to go back and replicate your diet from the day that you dropped that one huge one.

Speaker 1 What a, like, and you'll remember that day for the rest of your life because it was the day you got accused of cheating because your shit was too big that's not something you just forget like that's that's the weirdest part about this you take the dump he agrees to stay with you and forever in this relationship is just like hovering over everything is that day that you took a big dump and he thought it was dude yeah let me tell you honestly the formula that you should use uh denver omelette in the morning okay have a snack couple handful

Speaker 1 some sneak some meat couple handfuls of almonds yep keep the metabolism going then for lunch do maybe a steak sandwich Oh.

Speaker 1 And rare. Rare cheese.

Speaker 1 Don't do the cheese. And then what you're going to want to do for your afternoon snack, instead of the handful of almonds, just a handful of Adderall.

Speaker 1 And then you go home and you just shit your brains out. Yeah.
You won't be, no matter what you had to eat earlier in that day,

Speaker 1 it's going to be an impressive fill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're ready to go.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, I guess that's our show.
That was one of the wildest Monday readings we've ever had. Have you ever taken a shit and it doesn't stop?

Speaker 5 Like, like ever?

Speaker 1 Whoa, like, so are you still shitting? Like a log, and you know, like, there's a normal size, and it's like, oh, yeah, yeah, like the connector, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Those are, yeah, that's when that's when you send it to your friends, yeah, that's when you send it to your friends.

Speaker 1 When it wraps 360, it's like a fucking, it's like a soft serve machine, yeah, it's a work of art, yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 That's worthy of a picture. There's almost something Zen about taking a crap that doesn't break along the way.
Yeah, it's like

Speaker 1 it requires a mental health. It's like peeling your skin.
You just try and peel it off in one. Oh, wait, your skin? Dude, dude, when you get so bad.

Speaker 1 I was going to say it's like peeling a clementine and getting the perfect peel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not your skin, dude.

Speaker 1 You guys don't know this vacation shit, but you got a sunburn and you're just like.

Speaker 1 What are you, lizard?

Speaker 1 You shed your exoscope? PFT and I haven't been tan in three and a half years where Hank is just fucking, he's on so many vacations, he's got to peel his skin.

Speaker 1 Also, I was doing some math thinking about after we did 500 episodes. I've been here for 97% of the shows.
97%? Well, guess what? PFC and I have been here for 100% of the shows. Okay, but well, okay.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to get into it. Whatever.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
All right. 97.
That's pretty good. Good luck with your skin.
Yeah. Should we get you a nice warm rock that you can just roll? No, you should roll it.

Speaker 1 I'll take a vacation shortly and I'll show you guys just as a so I can show you like a field. Oh, okay.
Yeah. So that will actually be so field research.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, it won't be a vacation because you'll make some content. Right.
Hank Hank peels his skin off in one full perfect peel. I want you to

Speaker 1 be wearing full pads, though, on the beach when you do it. Oh, man.
All right. That's our show.
I don't know where the fuck this ended. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 It's part night and presented by Bob Steve Stones.