Patrick Mahomes, Anthony Sherman, GoT Finale, and Brooks Koepka Calls In
Grit Week 2019 is here and we rented a 1975 VW bus that is 100% going to get us killed before the week is over (2:27 - 7:50). Our guy Brooks Koepka wins the PGA Championship in convincing fashion proving Brandis Chambis wrong yet again (7:50 - 11:52). NBA Playoffs, Draymond's Team, and the Sharks laid an egg (11:52 - 17:16). Who's back of the week including Kyler Murray Height Truthers (17:16 - 32:52). Reigning NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes and fullback Anthony Sherman join the show to talk about Mahome's first full year, his dad playing baseball, how he pulls off the no look passes, and of course PFT's impression (32:52 - 83:26). Segments include PR 101 for Kevin Durant mad online, put one in his earhole Chris Long, Monday Reading and the dumbest GoT recap on the internet for that terrible finale
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Transcript
Speaker 1
Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Speaker 2 This episode is brought to you by Body Armor Flash IV. When you're pushing your limits this fall, rehydrate with Body Armor Flash IV with over 2,200 milligrams of electrolytes.
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Speaker 1 On today's Part of My Take, we have Reigning MVP Patrick Mahomes, the start of Grit Week and his fullback. And his fullback, Anthony Sherman.
Speaker 1 We have PFT doing the Patrick Mahomes to Patrick Mahomes, which is an all-time part of my take moment. We're in LA.
Speaker 1 We have Brooks Kepka,
Speaker 1 who is in the running, I think, now for Blake of the Year, winning the PGA championship. We have Who's Back of the Week and Game of Thrones.
Speaker 1
People are very mad, and we're going to talk about Game of Thrones at the end. No spoilers until that.
I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
Speaker 1 It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides.
Speaker 1 Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.
Speaker 3
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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.
Speaker 1 Down in the streets, there is violence.
Speaker 1 And there's lots of work to be done. On an old separate world, it's no place to hang at the washing.
Speaker 1 And you can't blame me. I'll understand.
Speaker 1 But let them know we're going to run
Speaker 1 to electric momenu.
Speaker 1 We're going to run on to electric momentum.
Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Put in promo code Barstool and you get $5 and $5 for
Speaker 1
ASPCA helping animals. Today is Monday, May 20th, Grit Week 2019.
Pretty psyched to be out here. We're in L.A.
We're in SoCal. We're in SoCal.
To be exact, we're in Jared Goff's guest house.
Speaker 1
It's pretty sweet. Taping this after all the stuff happened.
All the Game of Thrones is still light out, which is insane.
Speaker 1
It is bizarre watching Game of Thrones and NBA playoff games when it's still light outside. Yes, so we're here in SoCal.
We rented a van. It is a death trap.
Speaker 1
I don't know if you guys realize, like, I picked you guys up from the airport. That van is scary to drive.
It is loose. It is bad.
I love shitty vans more than anything.
Speaker 1
And the Volkswagen van is possibly the shittiest of them all. It is a rolling death trap.
There's nothing that separates Big Cat and I from the highway except for like one thin sheet of metal.
Speaker 1 It's exhilarating. And when I went and rented it, they gave me like a 45-minute tutorial on it, and I listened to zero of it.
Speaker 1 I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool. Except for the end when she's like, so if the check engine light comes on, you have to pull over immediately.
Speaker 1 And I was like, how often does that happen? She's like, well, it's an old van.
Speaker 1
Okay, cool, sweet. So we're going to die.
This might be the last episode you ever hear. What are my favorite? Well,
Speaker 1 we should get it out
Speaker 1
before we drive back to where we're staying. Just a heads up.
That's not possible. What do you mean? Yeah, no, upload it.
So maybe we can go behind. We have a black box on an airplane.
Speaker 1
Someone just take the files and put it up for us. Here's what we'll do.
We'll get a bunch of bubble wrap and just wrap the tape. We still put this on a tape, right? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
We'll wrap the tape up in that. So if we get into an accident.
Please post on iTunes. Yes.
If you find our burning cars, please
Speaker 1
distribute the mixtapes. Keep this.
This is going to be funny if we die. No, it's not at all.
All right, but that's Grit Week. But we are in California.
Grit Week. And I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 1 It's not as sunny or as warm as I was promised.
Speaker 1 We've only eaten In-N-Out once, which is a real shocker to the over-under.
Speaker 1
I'm going to say the number of patties of In-N-Out that Hank eats this week, I'm putting at 12 and a half. Yes.
It's going to be a lot. A lot of In N-Out.
A lot of meat going in that week.
Speaker 1
A lot of weed smoked, a lot of In-N-Out eaten. So here's what we have planned for Grit Week.
We have a ton of interviews.
Speaker 1 We're also going to do some interviews that we're going to have for later on in the summer because I'm with Child.
Speaker 1 But we have...
Speaker 1 You're with Child? I am with Child.
Speaker 1 I could tell.
Speaker 1 There's been some bad visuals recently. I actually was planning on getting in shape before Callie because I was like, when I see the Callie team, we saw a couple at the In-N-Out.
Speaker 1 And PFT was like, you see those guys? And it was this kid with like bleach blonde hair and like a surfboard sweatshirt. Yeah, he looked like.
Speaker 1
If we were inland, too. Yeah, he looked like if Logan Paul was a vegan.
So it was like a double thread of Cali teens. They're moving inland, and so we can't, we're not safe anywhere.
Speaker 1
We go to Sacramento and we wouldn't be safe. Yeah, but round is a shape.
So
Speaker 1
round is a shape, so I'm fine. I'm in shape.
So we're going to do a bunch of interviews. We're going to be around with a bunch of people.
We might be working out with Dan Bilzerian tomorrow.
Speaker 1 That should be interesting.
Speaker 1
I think we're just going to roast him. Yeah, that's basically the plan.
Yeah, pretty much. I think we're going to his house, see his turtles.
Speaker 1
So we have a ton of, but we have some real gritty people as well. I actually have a bad pic with him about Cardi B.
Yeah. He came at our queen.
Yes, he did.
Speaker 1
So we're going to have to defend her honor tomorrow. Yeah.
Coach McVay, some A-listers, big-time grit week planned, and we're going to be doing it in a death trap. So it's going to be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1
Also, some personal news. I've decided to quit jeweling this week.
So jeweling was becoming a real problem for me. I would roll over.
I'd hit that thing sometimes before I'd get out of bed.
Speaker 1 It was an issue. It was a distraction.
Speaker 1
And I'm going cold turkey this week. You got into the van and you're like, hey, guess what? I quit jeweling.
And I was like, okay. But you did it on a week when we basically are going to work non-stop
Speaker 1 and we're going to be in socially acceptable environments to jewel at all times.
Speaker 1 Like that van was built to jewel in.
Speaker 1
And you're like, yeah, I'm going to do it on the hardest week possible. Dude, it's me versus the pod right now.
This is like staring it down. I can handle it.
I actually, I brought the jewel with me.
Speaker 1
I thought about leaving it at home. That way I wouldn't be tempted.
But I was like, you know what? I might as well toss it down. That way I can stare it down.
Right.
Speaker 1
This is like when I remember, remember like a couple years ago? I got more energy already. I tried to start a diet week one of the NFL season.
That was dumb. What are you doing? That was dumb as shit.
Speaker 1
Yeah, so that's what you're doing right now. Yeah, I'm Jeweless.
Yeah. It's been.
Speaker 1
Well, we might have Julian Edelman on the show. And you brought it, Justin Edelman.
I got to do it. I got to do it.
We have two.
Speaker 1
It's been 20 hours since my last jewel. So I'm going strong.
I'm telling you, I feel more energetic. My impotence isn't a factor anymore.
I've gotten like
Speaker 1 three random boners. That's actually just probably because the the steering on the van is so loose and it's just vibrating all the time.
Speaker 1
I feel good, though. We're in Cali.
We'll try to figure out some time this week where we can maybe meet some people, figure out a bar we can go to.
Speaker 1 We also, if you are listening to this and you want to watch all of our interviews for Grit Week, Barstool Gold, barstoolgold.com slash PMT, go download it right now.
Speaker 1 You can watch every single episode.
Speaker 1 You and the movie.
Speaker 1 Give me the only award-winning watches out there.
Speaker 1 So we need to start, that was kind of like the preamble. We need to start the show with the question, are we kingmakers? I think definitely we are.
Speaker 1 Because Brooks Kepka just dominated the PGA championship. Maybe a little hairy at the end.
Speaker 1
And we'll forget the fact that he's won four out of the last seven, and this was actually just more of like it's the year of the Brooks since last year. It's the Brooks slam.
Let's just talk about it.
Speaker 1 We're going to do a PGA championship and a U.S. Open
Speaker 1
in back-to-back years. And part of my take is called the Kepka Slam.
Yeah, but we'll take credit for it. This is actually the perfect, like,
Speaker 1 we do this very well where something is going going well, or someone's doing well, and then we interview them, and everyone's like, hey, credit to you guys. We're like, hey,
Speaker 1
you know what? We'll take credit. That's fine.
Like, Tommy Lasorde is still alive after we interviewed him. So I'm absolutely taking credit for that.
We spoke today. Keeping old Tommy's lungs moving.
Speaker 1 We got to try to find Tommy. How about at the very start of the tournament today when Brooks's girlfriend was like, give me a little smoochy smooch? And he was like, no, that's man card shit.
Speaker 1 Kissing girls, you get your man card taken for less than that on the golf course.
Speaker 1 Well, he was like i'm about to win like two million dollars like i want to keep my options open here my theory is that he just he wanted the visual of her staring at him yes like she stared at tiger yeah at the masters he wanted that visual out there to put on a shirt credit to jenna sims brooks girlfriend for walking it off very nicely yes like she knew that was the wrong time to ask for a kiss and she kind of just like picked up the pace a little bit and played it off like a real pro.
Speaker 1 What's the Mount Rushmore of places to not ask for a kiss?
Speaker 1
I would say... On the shitter.
With With the boy. When you're with the boys.
Yeah, when you're hanging with the boys.
Speaker 1
Yeah, hanging with the boys about to win a major tournament, but you haven't teed off yet. In front of Manny Pacquio, who we might interview this week.
Yeah. Well, no.
Don't do that.
Speaker 1 Well, we can kiss.
Speaker 1
Well, no, I don't think in front of him. I think we have to.
I don't think he's done with that. I think it would be homophobic of us not to make out in front of Manny Pacquiao.
Speaker 1 What are the other places?
Speaker 1 Oh, kissing the bride when you're not the groom. Yeah, that could be bad.
Speaker 1 If you're Italian, you kind of have to. That's true.
Speaker 1 tongue kiss. Yeah,
Speaker 1 all good things.
Speaker 1 Any for you?
Speaker 4 In the throne room after you just burnt down.
Speaker 1
Wait, no spoilers. No spoilers.
We're going to get to the spoilers at the end, but yes, that's actually a really good point. I would also say
Speaker 1
inside the parameters of a Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, that's Die Zone.
Unless asked to like maybe like, hey, can you get some of this Buffalo Wild Wings sauce off my lips?
Speaker 1
Unless she's wearing a referee jersey and has eye black on. Unless she just put the game into quadruple overtime.
Then it's like, let's go. We're tongue wrestling.
Let's do it.
Speaker 1
Tops to hot. So, Brooks is the man.
I don't really know what else to say. Brooks is dominated.
He's absolutely the man.
Speaker 1 And people are saying he's a frontrunner because he only cheers for the Packers and the Yankees. Well, but he has
Speaker 1 a stink. And he only wins in tournaments that has the strongest field.
Speaker 1
So, yeah, I guess he's a frontrunner. But I guess being a frontrunner in golf is a good thing.
Yeah. And by the way, shout-out, special shout-out to our boy
Speaker 1 Brandon. What's on Dale?
Speaker 1
Brandy Chamby. Brandy Chamby.
Big Split. Just Just trying to fight his way through it, try to tweet his way through the family.
He roasted the shit out of you. I roasted him back.
Speaker 1
Yeah, the part of my Take Twitter account didn't retweet my response to him. Blicks Beach Amblis.
Blicks Beach Ablis is probably the worst golf announcer
Speaker 1
analyzer of all time. Your name fucking sucks.
Your name sucks. I know you didn't give it to yourself, but you could have changed it.
Speaker 1
You've had, judging by your profile picture, probably 75 years to change it. Yes.
And you haven't yet birdle B. Scriff Relies, whatever the hell your name is.
Speaker 1
Brandle. You were wrong, Brandle.
Brandle.
Speaker 1
Doesn't matter. Let's think about that.
You know what? Hey, what's up? I'm Brandle. When somebody's wrong,
Speaker 1
and the only way that they show penance for it is by repeatedly saying, fine, stop telling me I was wrong. I'm wrong.
I wasn't technically wrong.
Speaker 1
I actually want him to dig in and double down on his Brooks Kepka hate now. Yes.
And say that, see, I told you these last two days. He's not average.
He's not that good.
Speaker 1
Forget when he set a major championship record in the first two rounds. Yeah.
Not to go all Todd Haley on it, but could you imagine like looking at a baby and being like, that's Brandle?
Speaker 1 This is Bricksbull. That's Brandle right there.
Speaker 1 We shall name him Brandle.
Speaker 1 All right, we have NBA playoffs.
Speaker 1 If you missed any of the games this week, I got a quick update from our guy, Magic.
Speaker 1 With Steph Curry's 36 points, Draymond Green's 2013-12 triple-double, and Clay Thompson's incredible defense, the Warriors' three superstars led them to another win in this series.
Speaker 1
The Warriors' three superstars. Three superstars.
No, No exclamation points. So I think Magic is in trouble.
This was a cry for help.
Speaker 1 But yes, the question now is: are the Warriors better without Kevin Durant? I think what you're seeing is they're more fun to watch without Kevin Durant. They are absolutely fun.
Speaker 1
They play a more interesting brand of basketball. Steph Curry is allowed to be Steph Curry.
Everyone's got to take a step back when Kevin Durant's there.
Speaker 1
Interesting. Everybody gets to be themselves when Kevin Durant's not around.
Draymond is more Draymond than he is normally. Kevon Looney is awesome.
He's very loyal.
Speaker 1 And Clay is Clay.
Speaker 1 Clay is just Clay.
Speaker 1 By the way, Clay, like, everyone's like, what's happened to Damian Lillard?
Speaker 1 Which, by the way, I think they said that he has a separated rib, so he's like one rib away from being able to suck his own dick like Marilyn Manson. But Clay Thompson is so good on defense.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you know who else had a separated rib? Was Eve. Oh, yeah, that's true.
Or she was a separated rib. But Draymond, Draymond, and Clay, defensively.
Speaker 1 Like, that's what the Warriors, everyone talks about the Warriors' offense because their offense is unreal.
Speaker 1 But when they're like, hey, we're just going to fuck you up on defense, they did it again in game three, where they were down, like, 10.
Speaker 1
Like, yeah, okay, now we're going to start playing, and you have no chance. It was demoralizing as a longtime Blazers fan, as a C.J.
McCollum stand.
Speaker 1 And let me just say,
Speaker 1 the way that he met Jennifer from I'm Trying Jennifer,
Speaker 1 Colin Coward could learn a lot about how to deal with people
Speaker 1
from Jennifer. That's true.
Because she was gracious in defeat when she sat down with him before the game. But she's like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1
Yeah, but she was like, I'm sorry. She knew she had the upper hand.
It's really easy to be, it's really easy to be gracious about everything if you're a Warriors fan. It's true.
Speaker 1 But yeah, it was cool seeing CJ greet her and turn the page on that.
Speaker 1
But there's nothing that the Blazers can do right now. No.
It's over. And you know what?
Speaker 1 I'm trying to get myself to a place where I'm saying it's going to be an interesting finals between the Bucks and the Warriors. Okay.
Speaker 1
I don't think it is. No, it is.
All right. So I went to game two on Friday night in Milwaukee.
Speaker 1
First of all, that stadium's awesome. I also got sat next.
I was sitting next to a guy who is like probably 280 going, Giannis jersey, no undershirt. Love it.
Tough.
Speaker 1 But Giannis is
Speaker 1 like, he's such an insane freak. And when you watch him in person, you're like, it's even to a different level.
Speaker 1 I think the Bucs will absolutely give them a good. And they have home court.
Speaker 1
People forget that. They do.
And they played terrible against the Raptors game three, and they still went to double overtime.
Speaker 1
And they needed the refs to just ignore a double dribble from Kawhi for the Raptors to win that game. So is that game being played under protest? It should.
By the Bucs.
Speaker 1
It was a double dribble, but it was also with like three minutes left in the game. Yeah, but still.
And they ended up losing by what? Butterfly points. Do you ever hear of it?
Speaker 1 That's oh, yeah, that's like when somebody farts in Tiananmen Square,
Speaker 1 somebody gets run over by a tank as they fart.
Speaker 1 I do think it's going to be a good finals.
Speaker 1 I don't know.
Speaker 1 I hope that you're right for my own sake.
Speaker 1
For all of our sake. As a fan of good sports over bad sports, I hope you're right.
But I'm just kind of thinking that I'm going to be very disappointed with it.
Speaker 1
I guess in hockey, I mean, the Sharks just laid a fucking dud in San Jose, so I think it's going to be Blues-Bruins. Yeah.
Are you ready for it? I'm excited. There's a lot of St.
Speaker 1
Louis guys in the office. I'm very excited.
Yeah. It's going to be war.
Speaker 1 Bruins, Hank. Hank, do you think the Bruins win a Stanley Cup, there's going to be a baby that's going to be born in the next three months named something stupid like Sale Gronk
Speaker 1 Tucker?
Speaker 1
Sale Gronk, Tucker McGillicutty. Tucker.
Probably not. Tucker.
Tucker.
Speaker 4 Tucker would be a strong name, though. Two guys.
Speaker 1 Tucker. Tucker.
Speaker 4 Yeah, we just named him Tucker, and then with the Boston accent, it becomes Tucker.
Speaker 1 Tucker, who? Yeah,
Speaker 1
my kid Tucker. He's a real shithead.
By the way, by the way, nobody likes him because he's a winner.
Speaker 1 I forgot to mention the Giannis stuff did you guys see the new this league going around that jason kidd the reason why the lakers want him as assistant coach is because he will get giannis as a free agent oh there you go they're just playing in two years
Speaker 1 yeah so the the coach that fucked up giannis' game the most but yannis remember he just called
Speaker 1 yeah he freaked out fire him yeah yeah he freaked out at the last second but uh yeah that's interesting yeah i'm not buying it i'm putting i'm putting my mark right now giannis is not going to be a laker it does suck if you're like a small market team even want to be in Space Jam.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true, but it sucks when you're a small market team and every move that like a big market team, they're like, well, it's just that they're going to steal your player in two years, obviously.
Speaker 1 It's very Yankee-esque. Oh, the best part about that's a future Yankee.
Speaker 1 Yeah, the best part about basketball is thinking about what's going to happen in the future of basketball, not actually watching basketball. Watching the games that are going on.
Speaker 1
That's this league. Like, we'd rather talk about the upcoming free agency than watch the actual last four teams that are playing.
Yep, yep. I agree with that.
This league.
Speaker 1
All right, should we do who's back of the week? Let's do it. Hank, why don't you go first? Yeah, why don't you start? You guys should go first.
Yeah, sure. You go.
You go. Sure.
You go.
Speaker 1
Mike, by the way, almost cried tonight in Game of Thrones. We'll get to that later.
That's not true. Okay.
I have the video.
Speaker 1 Who's back? Showing emotions in front of the fellas. Hank crying at TV shows.
Speaker 1 My back of the week is boxing. Oh, okay.
Speaker 4 Big boxing match this weekend.
Speaker 4 Deontay Wilder, who before the fight said that boxing is the only sport where you can kill a man and get paid for it at the same time, so why not use my right to do so? Which was like
Speaker 4 pretty intimidating words before a fight, and then he went out and knocked the dude out in like the first 10 seconds.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I don't know if that's factually accurate, though. Like, I've seen some Steelers, Bengals games.
You can kill somebody and still get paid for it.
Speaker 6 Yes.
Speaker 1 In football? Fontes Burford.
Speaker 1
They don't take away your paycheck if the other guy happens to die. That knockout was insane.
It was crazy. His ear looked like it almost fell off.
Speaker 1 He got hit on his left ear, and his right ear took so much of the force through his head that it looked like it was going to fly away like a butterfly.
Speaker 1 And that still is, like, boxing for all the things that have happened with boxing and, like, all the belts and everything getting confusing and UFC and the referees fucking things up and UFC kind of like eating into it.
Speaker 1 There's still something about boxing, like, in terms of all-time sports moments. You know, you talk about walk-off home run or like a buzzer beater just obliterating a dude with a knockout.
Speaker 1 The sweet sign. That is, that is, like, on the Mount Rushmore of sports moments.
Speaker 1 You just can't say anything about it. Is Burt Sugar still alive? Is he around? No, you know who died?
Speaker 1
Letterman just died. Yeah.
Sad. Howard Letterman.
Oh, you know when they took it? Did you can't cards? You can't say Letterman just died.
Speaker 1
Not David Letterman. With D.
How are you looking? Well, no, you should have listened to my pronunciation. I clearly used a D there.
Okay. Letterman just died.
Okay. All right.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
But Sugar is he around? R.A.P. I think so.
Okay. I can just imagine him watching that knockout and the cigar just like falls out of his mouth.
Howard Letterman,
Speaker 1 by the way, like classic, like it was very much a Joe Pa situation where the HBO got rid of boxing, and he was like, all right, that's it for me. That's enough for old Howie.
Speaker 1 He was a legend of the game. He ride off into the old sunset.
Speaker 1 Hank, another one. Wait, which belt did he get? The
Speaker 1 IBF, UBF, and the Rough and Rowdy belt. How many belts are we?
Speaker 1 We're going to make boxing
Speaker 1
bring all the belts together. They can't acknowledge a heavyweight champion until they acknowledge Rough and Rowdy.
The unified champion?
Speaker 1 Yeah, if they want to unify the belts, they have to fight that super racist dude that knocks everyone out in West Virginia. I would love to see Deontay Wilder fight that guy.
Speaker 1 Yeah, while he was wearing just beats Travis Travis Terman. Travis Terman, while he's wearing jeans, cowboy boots.
Speaker 4 Beast. No, that's it.
Speaker 1 That's it. Who's back?
Speaker 4 Okay.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, you guys talked about it.
Speaker 1
All right, my who's back of the week is the Jets. Yeah.
So the Jets are back in a big way. Adam Gace has taken over, established Prima Nocta after taking out McCagignon.
McCagnan.
Speaker 1 And whoever else, you you know, forcing trades, doing all this shit.
Speaker 1
One other high-level evaluator with a different team said that this is the biggest mistake anyone in the NFL has made in years. Gace is crazy.
He is the most paranoid person in the world.
Speaker 1
This will be like Todd Haley on crack. Whoa.
And
Speaker 1
I, for one, this was an anonymous source. So this was coach.
This is definitely true. It was a GM who's scared this will happen to themselves.
You know what?
Speaker 1
So, like, we can't let these coaches start running the league. Okay.
This is crazy. Two things.
Speaker 1 One, it was either Adam Gace that said this because he's so paranoid that he has to impersonate other GMs.
Speaker 1 Or it was Todd Haley that planted this out just so that all of a sudden Todd Haley is looking pretty fucking reasonable right now as opposed to Todd Haley on crack.
Speaker 1
Actually, Todd Haley was probably coked up and said he's like... He's got a big bad in.
He's like, he's Todd Haley on crack. Or third option, Dave Gettelman being like,
Speaker 1
let's get the narrative going that there's a team that's more of a cluster fuck than mine in New York City. Yeah, let's just remind Mike Francesa who the real cluster fuck in this town is.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
They've been talking about me too much the last couple of days. And then the L'Avion Bell stuff.
And then L'Aveon Bell stuff. So L'Avion doesn't think that he's wanted in town.
Speaker 1 Well, there's a real debate, like, should they trade Le'Veon Bell? Trade him back to the Steelers.
Speaker 1 Well, because the idea, it's actually one of those hilarious things that gets thrown out there in the sports media ecosystem.
Speaker 1 And then when you look at it, you're like, actually, it kind of makes sense because they already paid him $12 million.
Speaker 1
So, the team that gets L'Avion Bell doesn't have to pay him as much. So, people are like, the Jets could trade L'Avion Bell for a first-rounder.
That would be
Speaker 1 send him back to the Steelers. That would be so fucking funny.
Speaker 1
I'm absolutely here for that. And Antonio Brown's going to get traded because he's like David Carter.
Yeah, so that's fun to look forward to.
Speaker 1 My other Who's Back of the Week is Ted Ginn.
Speaker 1
He's back. Yes.
He's challenging people to races.
Speaker 1 He says, if anybody out there can beat me me in was a 100-yard dash, I'll pay you $10,000.
Speaker 1
So Ted Guinness, that's really the only thing he's known for is still just being like... Well, no, dropping footballs.
And running for the nearest out-of-bounds line whenever he catches a football.
Speaker 4 He's already on the hot seat, though. What? The kid that broke the high school track record challenged him.
Speaker 1 Oh, shit.
Speaker 4 Okay. And Ted Gen hasn't responded.
Speaker 1 Oh, damn. So Ted Guinness back in the way.
Speaker 4 He's back, but now he's back on the hot seat.
Speaker 1 He's actually genius by Ted Ginnis.
Speaker 4 He's back now. He's on the hot seat.
Speaker 1 He's just reminding everybody that he's fast, yeah. Right, Right, because
Speaker 1 you can't be like, I'll challenge anyone to a Juggs test
Speaker 1
and see who can catch a ball. I would love to see him and Mike Wallace compete in just a race, but have it be a 400-yard race and see if they're able to actually make the turns around the corner.
Yes.
Speaker 1
They're allergic to turning to the side. DK Metcalf is in the league now.
Like, that's the only thing he can do is run in a straight line. Also, the little white guy that plays in Arizona.
Yes.
Speaker 1 That played at UMass.
Speaker 1 Fuck.
Speaker 1 Stat department. Here you go.
Speaker 1
Our UMass grad. Bubba just threw it out.
The problem is developed. Close to grad.
He's a beauty. PMT stole his degree.
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 4 You know who Carlin Isles?
Speaker 1 College dropouts running this show.
Speaker 4 Carlin Isles. PF Country.
Speaker 1 Carlin Isles of U.S. rugby fame.
Speaker 4 He also responded and said, race me. I'll double it.
Speaker 1
Whoa. Yeah, Carlin Isles would beat the shit out of Ted.
We should just challenge him. Yeah, so Ted.
So if he's not doing it, well, I'll challenge him. He's not going to do it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 So I challenge you, Ted. Are you allowed to ride like a motorcycle in this race?
Speaker 1
I'll drive our. Actually, our van would not get up to speed.
He would beat. It's like man versus beast.
He would absolutely beat our van.
Speaker 1
All right. My who's back.
I got two.
Speaker 1 Kyler Murray's height. So there was the rookie symposium, and they all got into
Speaker 1 formation for a picture. He stood next to Hollywood Brown, who is 5'9.
Speaker 1 And Kyler Murray is clearly shorter than him. And so as a short man, PFT, what do you say?
Speaker 1 i'm not gonna address the speculation that i'm sure we've established my height is fine okay um he's someone who can speak to taking pictures where they look very short
Speaker 1 what do you say to this you sound very ugly right now no i'm just saying i mean
Speaker 1 what do we say to this has it never happened you are an expert like this is a perfect expert listen i it has happened
Speaker 1 but i'm turning my nose up at this type of language that you're throwing at me saying like we have an expert
Speaker 1 here's the thing like no just happened what we're talking about honestly It's like when the Ed Werter is standing outside of the Mississippi airport with Brett Frevere. He's a Brett Favre expert.
Speaker 1
You're our height expert. Okay, we now go live.
So PFT, who's standing outside. Standing outside Brett Favre's house.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 Okay, the knees are very tricky joints because a lot of times when you're listening a lot of times when you're getting your picture taken, if you're not standing lock leg leg, yeah.
Speaker 1
You're like totally released hips, to borrow a term from golf, with your ankles at the exact correct angle, too. Yeah.
Or even just a little bit of a bend in the waist.
Speaker 1
Maybe it was taken at night when you're a little shorter. The problem is, yeah, that's actually very true.
You are at maximum height first thing in the morning.
Speaker 1
I think that there's a lot of things that could be an explanation for this. I myself, am a Kyler Murray 5'11 truther.
I don't believe that he's 5'10 and 7'8s or whatever. You think he's a full 5'11?
Speaker 1
I think he had a little bit of clay on his heel. Do you remember that rumor going around? Yeah, that he had a prosthetic on his heel.
I actually do think that he's short.
Speaker 1
I think he's shorter than I am. Whoa.
So he's like 5'6? He's like 5'6, 5'7, 5'8, 5'8.5, 5'8 3 quarters. Okay.
5'8 ⁇ 6. He's any one of those numbers.
But I think he's shorter than me.
Speaker 1 But I will say, you know, all the different joints in your body that can bend and change direction, it's very possible for him to be 5'10 and come into this picture looking like he's 5'8.
Speaker 1
It does happen. I've taken short pictures before.
Right. So
Speaker 1 as a short man, do you think that Kyler Murray is kind of being like a little bit of a fraud here, not owning up to his height? Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 As a short man who's never never lied I should have said no, no I your height I think it's disgusting that he's running away from his
Speaker 1 true height right his height you can't change your well you probably can't you can actually in China I think you can break all your bones in your body and they elongate
Speaker 1 they break your shins Yeah, they elongate you you're in a cast for like a year then you get like two inches of height Yeah, well it can be up to four I've looked into the surgery kind of makes you look like a pussy that you're just using those weird shoes when you could break your shins and dunk
Speaker 1
no I don't think that that would work because it probably makes you less like your jumper ability strength. Yeah, you probably just break your legs every time you jump.
Exactly.
Speaker 1
It's walking, though. It's a walking surgery.
So I'm going to be able to dunk without the surgery, but I have looked into it and you can get like four inches.
Speaker 1
But then you just end up just walking around like a freak with the longest shin bones of all time. Right.
And your whole body's not proportional. Right.
Who would want that?
Speaker 1
So, yeah, to answer your question, I do think that Kyler Murray is running away from his true self. I think that he's like 5'8.
Okay. Maybe 5'9.
Speaker 1 Also, the headband was too big.
Speaker 1
Yeah. just nitpicking.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
It was bad. I've got a name for him, but I don't think it's appropriate.
So I'm not going to say it.
Speaker 1
Say it. No, I'm not.
I'm going to say it. Say it.
No. Now you have to say it.
I'm not going to say it.
Speaker 1 Say it.
Speaker 1 No. Come on.
Speaker 1 It's problematic, so I'm withholding the take. Say it will bleep it.
Speaker 4 Put your mic away.
Speaker 1 Say it will bleep it. The take will be on.
Speaker 1 Write it down.
Speaker 1 Write it down.
Speaker 1
I'll say it. All right.
You're not going to say it.
Speaker 1 Someone, this is a name that I'm just inventing right now for somebody who is short but refuses to
Speaker 1
refuses to acknowledge their true height. Yeah, I'm definitely not saying that you're not saying that.
Yeah. All right.
So that one will be lost in the ages. I'm not saying it.
I'm saying it.
Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, that was a good joke, BFD, but we're not saying, I'm actually going to cross it out just in case someone walks by and says it and reads it.
Speaker 1 Okay, so my other who's back in the week was
Speaker 1 the Mannings. So Arch Manning,
Speaker 1 way to really be fucking creative with your names there, Mannings. Arch Manning, who is Cooper Manning's son, is apparently a stud.
Speaker 1 He's a freshman, no, eighth grader, and he played in a senior practice and threw three touchdowns. That's got to be a nickname, right? We're going to have Mannings forever.
Speaker 1 We're never getting rid of the Mannings.
Speaker 1 It was a stroke of genius by Cooper to name his kid Arch
Speaker 1
because he was sick of Eli and Peyton getting all the shine from Archie. Yeah.
And so he's like, you know what? I'm really going to suck up to him.
Speaker 1 My son is just being, it's going to be named exactly what my dad's name is. He'll hold the Giants Giants front office hostage for 25 years and have Arch Manning be the star.
Speaker 1 Dave Gettleman is so excited to see this kid play, and he's like 6'3 already. John Elway and Dave Gettelman are going to get into a sword fight to the death for the rights to draft this kid.
Speaker 1 You ready for a woe?
Speaker 1 We're all going to die.
Speaker 1
We're going to die before Mannings are out of the NFL. Like, they're going to be Mannings in the NFL till the day we die.
They're just never, they're going to outlast us.
Speaker 1 As human beings, the Manning family as quarterbacks are going to live longer than all, well, we might die die after the show, but you know what I mean. How many years until he's in the pros?
Speaker 1 Probably, what?
Speaker 1
I think he's like 13, 14, so he'll be there in like seven years. Yeah.
Right when Eli's career is. Right when I'm getting ready to die.
Yeah,
Speaker 1 right when Eli's ending his career and pass the torch. What do you think?
Speaker 1
And then fucking Payton has kids, too. They'll be wizards.
What do you think the college search process is like for a Manning kid?
Speaker 1 I guarantee they're
Speaker 1
David Cutkliffe. They'll take cards about it, yeah.
Yeah, and then Ole Miss. Ole Miss, and they'll probably take a visit to LSU, but have no intention of going there.
Speaker 1 Right, because that would be weird to have a quarterback there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 They don't really.
Speaker 1
Let's get to our interview. Reigning MVP, Patrick Mahomes, and his fullback, Anthony Sherman, who's a very funny guy as well.
Give it up for Chicago.
Speaker 7 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.
Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep
Speaker 1 coming.
Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Speaker 8 Aldi is now on Uber Eats. So whether your fridge is empty and you're too tired to shop, or you just ran out of essential ingredients, don't worry, we got you.
Speaker 8
Get 40% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats with code New Aldi25. Orders $30 or more.
Save up to $25. And it's $12.31.
See ya for details.
Speaker 1 Okay,
Speaker 1
here he is. Patrick Mahomes and Anthony Sherman.
Grit Week.
Speaker 1 Okay,
Speaker 1
Grit Week, episode one for Grit Week, presented by Body Armor. We are here in Kansas City.
We're joined by Patrick Mahomes.
Speaker 1
He's the reigning NFL MVP and his fullback, Anthony Sherman, who's also known as Sausage with Hands. And let's start with this, guys.
Let's start with how we start every Grit Week interview.
Speaker 1 What is grit? How do you define grit?
Speaker 1 Explain what grit is and where you can see it. We'll start with the fullback because Patrick, no big deal.
Speaker 1 He doesn't really have much grit week. More pretty than did he.
Speaker 1 I think, you know, the biggest thing is someone that just never gives up, always continues to fight, might get knocked down three, four times, but always continues to continue to fight, fight, fight over and over again.
Speaker 1
And someone that you want to take with you to a back alley and do do some damage. Okay.
I like that.
Speaker 5
For me it's kind of the same thing. It's just someone that can make it happen.
It doesn't have to always be perfect. They don't have to have the right circumstances.
Speaker 5 There's someone that can find a way to make it happen no matter what the circumstance is.
Speaker 1
Okay. Okay.
That's a good answer. I like that.
Speaker 1 Now, that being said, I have a bone to pick with you, Mr.
Speaker 1 Sherman, because your performance in the Pro Bowl was kind of a look-at-me type deal where you were like, I'm going to try to win this Pro Bowl MVP award and kind of have a new trophy to put on my mantle.
Speaker 1 Instead of, you know, you were demanding passes. Patrick was like, I guess I got to throw them the ball.
Speaker 5 He was trying to steal the car, you know, like to give out the car, and I was trying to get it.
Speaker 1
And he told me. Well, Pat didn't throw me any passes, actually.
He said, I'm not going to, I'm going to throw it downfield as far as I can every play. You can get downfield.
Speaker 1 Well, I can, a little bit, but I mean, he was out there and
Speaker 1
got to him a little bit. So, your big touchdown this year, that was where the nickname Sausage with Hands came from.
Andy Reed gave it to you, right? Yes. Did he have that nickname beforehand? Look,
Speaker 1
I had Sausage for the last six years. Okay.
And then he decided to to throw hands in the air because I caught him a touchdown. Okay.
Speaker 1
And he strikes me as a guy that has food nicknames ready to go for everybody. So it's like, okay, sausage, your passion.
I remind him of a sausage. That's what I'm trying to do.
I can see it.
Speaker 1
Super Sammy Watkins. Yeah.
The honey badge. You probably signed the honey badge as well.
Speaker 5 He's a huge nickname guy for sure.
Speaker 1 What's yours for him? Or what is it? Because it's the voice. The voice.
Speaker 1 Why do they call you the voice? Interesting. I don't know.
Speaker 5 I heard there was a good voice impersonation in this room.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we've got some of that. Some people in the media have taken shots at your voice.
I'm not going to name any names, but we'll certainly address that a little bit. Yeah, we can address that.
Speaker 1
Let's start, though, with this past season going into this, you know, the 2019 season. You guys obviously had an unbelievable year.
AFC championship game, like one play away.
Speaker 1 What do you feel like in the building in terms of expectations and what's going to happen next year? Like, do you guys feel like there's a little more pressure, or do you feel like, hey, we got this?
Speaker 1 We were like, we were right there. We got this.
Speaker 5
I think the biggest thing is there's not added pressure. It's the pressure that we put on ourselves.
And that's the Super Bowl.
Speaker 5
We know we were so close this last season. Didn't find a way to win the game.
But you have to find ways to win those big, big games and get to the Super Bowl.
Speaker 5 I mean, that should be everyone's goal when they step into the facility every single day.
Speaker 1 Should we change overtime rules?
Speaker 1 I mean,
Speaker 1
it doesn't matter to me. I'll just say it, though, because then we'll get headlines.
Well, no, no, it does not matter to me. Do you want a chance to have the ball in your hands?
Speaker 1 Were you pissed that you didn't get the ball?
Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, if you don't get the ball, you're always upset, but
Speaker 1 the overtime rules. But you know the rules before you go into that.
Speaker 1 But to make it fair, if you have two great quarterbacks like Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, then they should each get a shot to run the offense, right?
Speaker 5
You should just have a shot to win the football game no matter what the rules are. Just follow the rules and get the win.
Follow.
Speaker 1
Very diplomatic. I don't know about that.
That's a global answer. Yeah, that's a very real game.
Speaker 1 What do you think, Sherm? I think the rules are there they are, and we knew that going in. So come on, it's one of those things where it's, you know,
Speaker 1 who knows what would happen if we did get the ball first. And it's one of those things where
Speaker 1
you gave me the damn ball. Oh, Patrick.
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1
Okay, put that on a quote board here. Change the rules.
Change the rules.
Speaker 1 Were you shocked, though, at all, Patrick, about how unbelievable your season was? Because it started and just started rolling, and it was 50 touchdowns.
Speaker 1 Essentially, you had the Ben Simmons rookie of the year kind of thing where, you know, you had only played one game the year before.
Speaker 1 Was there ever a moment you're like, shit, like, this is crazy that I'm doing this right away?
Speaker 5 Yeah, I know. Yeah, the 50 touchdowns and 5,000 yards.
Speaker 5 I mean, if any quarterback expects that going to the season and they tell you that they're lying, I mean, I knew we had a very good team with a lot of great players around me that were going to make my job a lot easier.
Speaker 5 I knew if I just followed what Coach Reed said, that we had a chance to win a lot of football games.
Speaker 5 But then as the season kind of went on, the touchdowns just started adding up.
Speaker 5 You don't even think about them, but you just see them. And it was something that was surprising.
Speaker 5 But with the talent that we have around me, I knew that we had a chance to be a really good football team.
Speaker 1 A little bit of real talk. You give a lot of credit to Alex Smith for kind of like showing you the ropes when he got into the league.
Speaker 1 And it's kind of surprising because if you think of Alex Smith and Pat Mahomes, they're two very different quarterbacks, right?
Speaker 1 They play in different styles, approach the game, I think, in different ways, but maybe not.
Speaker 1 I was wondering, like, what was it specifically about Alex that made the transition from your college system, Big 12 guy, came in with the whole, you know, Big 12 quarterbacks can't play in the NFL.
Speaker 1 What was it about Alex Smith that made that transition so much easier?
Speaker 5 I think just he knew how to tell me what mistakes that he made when he was young.
Speaker 5 I mean, he got thrown into a kind of really a bad situation when he first got into the NFL where they kind of threw him out there and he had to just try to make it happen and try to make it work.
Speaker 5 And he knew those mistakes that young quarterbacks make. And by him just being the type of guy he was, if I would do something in practice, he'd be like, hey, man, just try it this way.
Speaker 5 It helped me out when I was that age, and it helped me out when I was a young QB. And so him just being like that and every aspect, Sherm, we talk about him, he's like the best guy,
Speaker 5 not even the best.
Speaker 5 kind of leader or football player, but he's the best guy. And I think that kind of rubbed off on me of just how to go about being a professional quarterback.
Speaker 1 Was there ever a moment where you were frustrated and like, I really should be playing?
Speaker 1 Not a knock on Alex Smith, but you're, I mean, I think the media has heard stories about how, and Sherm, you can back this this up or not, but the stories of you lighting up practice, even in your rookie year, and people being like, well, this guy's pretty damn good.
Speaker 1 And was there ever a moment where you're like, I love Alex Smith, but I should be playing?
Speaker 5 Not really, honestly. I mean,
Speaker 5 what made it easier was that Alex went out and threw like 30 something touchdowns.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5
We were like the best team in the AFC West. We won the AFC West that year, and you're like, man, like, he's doing his thing.
He's out there making plays.
Speaker 5 I mean, as a competitor, you want to play, but when the guy in front of you is going out there and making plays every single week, it kind of puts it in perspective of, hey, just keep doing your job, and if they call upon you, you'd be ready to go.
Speaker 1 So, do you, you obviously saw Patrick in practice, and you're like, this guy can light it up. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 You know, as soon as he came in the building, you could tell there was something about his arm and the way he would throw the ball.
Speaker 1 But at the same time, Coach Reed set the standard, and he knew we all knew the roles and who we have and who's in front of us.
Speaker 1 It's one of those things we just go out there and compete, and time will take care of itself, and we'll figure out who's going to be that guy next year when everything's said and done.
Speaker 1 Was it ever a little bit awkward when you step out on the field for the first time and you just wing the ball 50 yards on a rope and you just look at Alex and he knows and you know? Yeah.
Speaker 1 And it's like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 I'm sorry, that's just what I do.
Speaker 5 No, because he was diamond at the first
Speaker 5
all of training camp. The competition kind of drove each of us to step our games up even more.
And I mean, he was out there throwing dimes. He had a better completion percentage.
Speaker 5
He had more touchdowns. He had more, we rate our throws, more threes, which are like the best throws.
And so I didn't really have an argument.
Speaker 5 I mean, I was just trying to go out there and make plays, but he was really kind of taking over during training camp.
Speaker 1 Yeah, so there's a rumor out there that your dad played baseball.
Speaker 5 Is that true? Yes, it is true. I think y'all hear about it sometimes.
Speaker 1 Yeah, does that piss you off?
Speaker 1 Like, obviously, it's out of your control, but it's like part of what our podcast is and the jokes we make is the thing, the narratives that the media runs with, and it just gets so nauseating.
Speaker 1 Are you like, I don't want to talk about my dad playing baseball anymore?
Speaker 5 I've gotten completely used to it. I mean, that starting now, kind of the national, nationwide nationwide type of thing, but that's been going on my whole entire life.
Speaker 5 Even when I was a little kid playing t-ball, everybody was saying, oh, yeah, his dad plays baseball. That's the kid's dad plays baseball at every baseball tournament I would go to.
Speaker 5 And so I've kind of grown up with that. And I mean, I honestly like it.
Speaker 5 I mean, it shows that my dad went out there and had a great major league career, and I try to follow in his footsteps and just be the best athlete and the best person I can be.
Speaker 1 Okay, so rate how I did bringing up that your dad played baseball. It was kind of a different way.
Speaker 5 Yeah, it was definitely the first time I heard it that way.
Speaker 1
There we go. I don't know.
I thought I I did okay there. Like a six and a half.
Speaker 1 How much did it actually help, though, like the baseball to the football? Because that's what's crazy: you'll make a throw, and we'll be like, well, his dad did play baseball. Patrick played baseball.
Speaker 1 It's like, I think he's probably just a good football player. I think it has nothing to do with the baseball.
Speaker 5
I think it helped more in the locker room and around the club, like the clubhouse or locker room. Interesting.
Because
Speaker 5 you get to see guys like your boy A-Rod and guys like Derek Jeter.
Speaker 1
That's his boss. Yeah, yeah, my boss.
My boss.
Speaker 1 My boys My boss.
Speaker 5 But you see those guys that they're in there at like two o'clock when they have a 730 game and they're just hitting off the T.
Speaker 5 And I'm like, my dad's making me mad, making me hit off the T when I'm freaking 10 years old, and A-Rod's doing it for hours on hours.
Speaker 5 And you see that type of stuff, and you realize that you can't just get to the top and be satisfied. You have to keep working on the little things.
Speaker 1 Did your dad ever text you when Vlad Jr. came up and was like, this could have been us, but you disappointed me by
Speaker 1 like this was us.
Speaker 5 No, I mean, I texted him because he was a football player himself, so that could have been us if he was playing.
Speaker 1
Yo, there we go. We got to get that spin going.
We actually got to say, Did you know that his dad played football? Yes. That's how you take control of the narrative right there.
That's good.
Speaker 1
I want to bring up Andy Reid. You mentioned him a second ago.
We love Andy Reid on the show. Love him.
He's one of our absolute favorites. Have you ever seen him wear pants?
Speaker 5 No, never.
Speaker 5 I think maybe. Actually, I'll start with him.
Speaker 1 He has to on the game. Yeah, the game day, but he has to when we have like the little, like, uh, the little picture day or production.
Speaker 5 but he probably during games has shorts on underneath his pants well i know at practice it'll be like 13 degrees and he never lets us go inside we always practice outside and so he always has his shorts on he'll have his shorts and a jacket how many how many times a week does he wear a hawaiian shirt
Speaker 1 those are big occasions okay well i wouldn't even say that yeah i wouldn't say that i would say
Speaker 1 in season whenever we have a road game oh like for the trip yeah for the trip yeah that's how you yeah if he puts on a suit he puts on a hawaiian back in the day you got dressed up to travel yeah he's got a little bit of that left.
Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like, time to put on the top of the bottom.
Speaker 1 And he's allowed to run a leer jet.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's amazing. I heard that his favorite snack that he has,
Speaker 1
it's bizarre. Maybe you guys can confirm or deny this.
Involves wasabi peas and a seasonal drink. Is that ringing any bells whatsoever? I have not heard that.
No, not a single thing.
Speaker 1 Word on the street is he goes around just sipping eggnog. Year-round.
Speaker 1 I think what happened to us, PFT, here, is that we showed up to the Chiefs facility, and every guest that shows up, they're like, what can we tell them that Andy Reid eats and have them believe it?
Speaker 1 Maybe we just need to see it.
Speaker 1 I wanted it to be true so badly.
Speaker 5 Maybe people only see him around Christmas.
Speaker 1 So what is his favorite snack? What is his go-to meal? I would say his go-to meal is a cheeseburger and then after, a little ice cream. Okay.
Speaker 1
Hog and dash. Hog and drink.
Not Hagen Dash every time? Yeah, Hogg and Doss every time. Okay.
I have a scenario for you, Patrick. Should we call you Pat or Patrick? What do you like better?
Speaker 5 It does not matter to me at all. Okay.
Speaker 1
Call him whatever you want. Mr.
Mahomes.
Speaker 1
Here's a fun little scenario to walk you through. At the end of a game, let's say you're up by four points, three minutes left.
God forbid, you tear your rotator cuff, your right arm, completely shot.
Speaker 1
God forbid. Things just hanging there by a strength.
Real shame. Could you win a game if it was third and eight, you have one first down to win it by throwing a left-handed pass? By design?
Speaker 5 I could throw it about 25 yards left-handed, so I think I could do it.
Speaker 1 Not very accurate. What over there? Well, the thing is...
Speaker 1
Let's get to that point. We play this game on Saturdays, and we go left-handed, and it's not very good.
Yeah, not very good.
Speaker 5 Kelsey, you just got to throw it around him.
Speaker 1 That's trading.
Speaker 1
Plot twist, he catches it, and then he starts screaming at the defender after he gets tackled, like he likes to do. 15-yard penalty.
I've got a plot twist. Now you have a 22-yard pass.
Speaker 1
They have to make it. I've got a plot twist.
He pitches it left-handed to someone that can throw. Ooh.
And then the ball gets completed that way. Ooh.
Speaker 1 Are you that person?
Speaker 1
I mean, I could. Yeah.
That's how we coach yourself.
Speaker 5 Or third and 22, fullback screen.
Speaker 1
Drop it off the screen. There you go.
He can get it. I love it.
You'll take him first up.
Speaker 5 27 steps, but he'll get back.
Speaker 1 Probably more than that. Do you want more carries this year? Because you had, I think, one last year for two yards, which is great for a fullback.
Speaker 1 Like, sabermetrically, that's the sweet spot that you want to be in. But would you like to get the ball shoved into your gut more?
Speaker 1
No, not really. Okay.
There's great actions. I'd rather block, to be honest.
Speaker 1 A couple of screen passes here and there. But other than that, I'm ready to do the dirty work for him and those guys that make plays.
Speaker 1
So you, Sherman, you went to the football powerhouse of Yukon, and I have to bring it up. He wasn't your coach, but I have to bring it up.
What were your thoughts on the civil conflict?
Speaker 1 That right there.
Speaker 1 Did you do the Bob Diaco
Speaker 1
and lock it into a chest and throw it away? No, yeah, I didn't even. I don't want to bring it up again, actually.
What's the civil conflict? Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 It's the greatest thing in Yukon history. Do you think that you had some games like a Texas Texas against Oklahoma? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Was it Central Florida versus Yukon?
Speaker 1
They were barn burners. So Bob Diaco, who's the coach after you, you had Edsel, right? I had Edsel, yeah.
So he created a rivalry out of thin air.
Speaker 1 He said, we're just, he literally said we're just choosing
Speaker 1
choosing our rival, and it's Central Florida, made the whole trophy, and then UCF just... completely ignored it.
Like they beat UConn and just left the trophy on the field.
Speaker 1 And it was, and so the whole thing is civil conflict and it's flct at the end of conflict and they had a clock counting it down and it was very embarrassing for uconn football that can't be going well for uconn here recently with ucs being so good yeah well no well no no they're never
Speaker 1 because he got fired i think the trophy is still at the stadium yeah no they can't find the trophy uh-huh trophy like there's a whole story like a mystery out there of where the trophy is
Speaker 1 i wonder
Speaker 1 nowhere maybe it was embarrassing but i love it because it's a true football guy like create a rivalry out of nothing. And he also said what the 21-yard line and in or 22-yard line and was the actual.
Speaker 1
The red zone, yeah. So he made his own red zone.
It was just a great football guy all around. Listen, that's just a football guy right now.
Yeah, we're bragging on UConn.
Speaker 1
We should have mentioned that you did go to a BCS bowl. We did.
The Fiesta Bowl. Fiesta Bowl.
You got your ass kicked. I wouldn't say that.
4820 is
Speaker 1
an ass. Let me check.
Hank, stats. I don't know if I'm that guy.
Can you look that up? I don't know if that's a good one. That's 48-20.
Yep, that's an ass. I don't think that's true.
But you did.
Speaker 1
You went to a BCS poll. That's pretty big for UConn football.
Yeah, and that was the high point right now. That's pretty much the high point.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we're trying to bring it back with Etzel coming back, but we'll see what happens. Yeah, that's right.
I forgot Etzel. Yeah, Etzel came back.
Okay, the powerhouse. So PFT just mentioned, Patrick,
Speaker 1
the Texas Tech-Oklahoma games. Can we talk about that classic game against Baker where you had 88 pass attempts? Yeah.
And I actually remember that. The one that we've heard a thousand times.
Speaker 1
Well, no, but I want I was so you had 819 total yards. You had five touchdowns, two interceptions.
No, one interception.
Speaker 1 And Baker had seven touchdowns, zero interceptions.
Speaker 1
82 rushing touchdowns. You did.
You're right.
Speaker 1
85 rushes, two touchdowns. That's true.
That game, was it, I mean, was that the most fun game you've ever played in?
Speaker 5 It would have been if we won.
Speaker 5 When you're at home and you lose a game, I mean, that never feels good. But it was a lot of fun going out there.
Speaker 5 We knew playing Baker and Joe Mixon and Dee Dee Westbrook and all those guys that we were going to have to score a lot of points.
Speaker 5 So, I mean, it was back and forth. Every single drive, it seemed like each team was scoring.
Speaker 5 I didn't realize I had that many pass attempts until one of my roommates from like my freshman year came over to the sideline before the last drive and was like, hey, bro, I don't know if you know, but you got 77 pass attempts.
Speaker 1 And I was like, man, that's a couple.
Speaker 5 And so it was an amazing experience. Like I said, it'd been better if we won, but it was a pretty rowdy crowd out there for Bakers.
Speaker 1
It's like playing Madden on Easy. You're just scoring every single drive.
You guys are going up and down the field.
Speaker 5 We're playing playing like with the Chiefs.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we're playing with the Chiefs somewhere. Yeah, well, Big 12, I mean, they don't play defense.
What game was more fun to play in that one or this year against the Rams?
Speaker 5 Again, another game that we lost.
Speaker 1 So, I mean, both of them weren't
Speaker 5 the most fun games.
Speaker 1
I have a theory on that. I think that the book's out on Pat Mahomes on how to beat him.
I think you just let him throw the ball for 600 yards and six scores on you.
Speaker 1
And then at the end of the game, his arm's really tired. Yeah.
Because you've thrown the ball so least on him.
Speaker 5
That might be it. It seems like every game that it's 50-plus that we seem to end up losing.
So we'll have to change that with the new defensive staff and new defensive guys we got in there.
Speaker 5 And so hopefully we can keep it to a more moderate score.
Speaker 1 Does your arm get tired when you throw it 60 times, 88 times?
Speaker 5 No, growing up playing baseball, I had a few games. I got it.
Speaker 1 I got tired right back around. God damn it.
Speaker 1 How far do you think you could have thrown the ball if you had played that game in Mexico City?
Speaker 5 Probably 100.
Speaker 1 100? Yeah, because
Speaker 5 I got it like 80, 83 in Denver, and then you have to times it by two because it's like two miles above Altina Road.
Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. It's the highest stadium in the world.
Speaker 1 So, yeah, so
Speaker 1 I get this.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. I'll video and see if he actually does it.
So we've got proof. Yes.
Speaker 1
That's us so we can prove that. Yeah, sure.
That's coming through us.
Speaker 1 How far could you throw a vortex football?
Speaker 5 I never was good with those, man. Like, I don't know, man.
Speaker 5 Those aren't the ones I can throw with.
Speaker 1 They're too small. Just make your mouse stuff?
Speaker 5 Yeah, I guess so if you say it like that.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Do you, when you do the no-look passes, do you realize your mechanics are terrible?
Speaker 5 My mechanics are never really great. I
Speaker 5 do a lot of wild stuff.
Speaker 5 The coaches kind of are on that point where they're like, we need to kind of calm it down a little bit, but we can't let him not be himself.
Speaker 5 So it's kind of that high and low that you have to kind of work with. And so I work on them all the time.
Speaker 5 And if I can, I try to stay good with the fundamentals, but sometimes I kind of just get a little wacky there.
Speaker 1 Yeah, your left-handed fundamentals, the mechanics are way, way off on that. Like the no-look stuff, like Big Cat brought up, but like, your left arm, come on, man.
Speaker 1 Like, you gotta step into your throw. It's hard, Vaughn.
Speaker 5 Vaughn's chasing you, man.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 Did you re-watch the no-look pass a bunch of times?
Speaker 5 Not as much as you would think. I liked the pass later on in the game, the fourth down pass that I liked more when I just kind of threw it to the middle of the field and
Speaker 1 got the cash.
Speaker 5 That was definitely more exciting to me, but the no-look was cool.
Speaker 5 I mean, it's kind of funny. I sent the receiver Garrett Dita the wrong way, so it kind of helped out on the play.
Speaker 5 But it definitely worked out, and I mean, we won that game.
Speaker 1 That's got to fuck all your receivers up, though, now, because they're like, we could get a pass at any time.
Speaker 5 Oh, they already knew that. Okay.
Speaker 5 We work on that in training camp as they keep running because he might throw it to you at any time.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there's no clear routes in this offense anymore. We've come to find out.
Speaker 1 Anyone at any time could the ball be thrown at you? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Do you catch yourself watching your own gifts?
Speaker 5 Nah, never been big on watching because I don't like watching stuff that happened already. I kind of just kind of keep moving forward.
Speaker 1 That's such a quarterback. yeah but you just said a second ago that you watched the no-look you did yeah you have to watch it on film you got to make yourself better oh yeah
Speaker 1 i think you're really missing out a great part of uh of your career which is how giftable you are right now you're the most giftable player in the nfl
Speaker 1 i don't know you've seen this guy on the pro bowl then that's true yeah i didn't get that car by the way yeah yeah no patient
Speaker 1 you didn't i still
Speaker 1 see it or drive it no i hasn't came in yet so i thought you told me he could ride shotgun permanently well i did tell him brady would have given me the car if yes
Speaker 1
that's true. He didn't give it to me.
He had like seven cars or something, you know.
Speaker 1 I mean, you could always use another one, right? I don't have seven cars.
Speaker 5 Oh, no, no, you don't.
Speaker 1
No, I have a truck, and that's it. Yeah, we just heard of Brady.
He would never drive a car. He's only troaks.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 So, the Madden curse, is it real?
Speaker 5 I mean, it wasn't for Brady
Speaker 5 and Antonio had a pretty good season.
Speaker 1 But did you wake up the next day when you found out? Well, I guess you found out a long time ago that you were.
Speaker 1 Did you, was there any moment?
Speaker 5 I'm a very superstitious guy, so I probably would have been like, like no thanks did you ever for a second like maybe i shouldn't no if it had been maybe when i was like 13 years old maybe but uh now that now that guys like brady have kind of went in and and had great seasons after it and uh i mean odell had pretty good seasons i mean a lot of guys have had great seasons after it now and so it can't it can't be it can't be real and there was a apparently a curse that we couldn't win playoff games in kansas city and we did we broke that one so that's true that's very true
Speaker 1 to be the curse breaker or something combo breaker yeah you would have actually really screwed with people's heads back when they had the passing cone, the vision cone in Madden.
Speaker 1
Did you ever play with that? I did a couple times. So if you were...
I hated it.
Speaker 1 If Pat Mahomes was a character in that game, the passing cone wouldn't mean shit because you'd be looking over to one side of the field and just throw it all the way across the field and be fine.
Speaker 1
Right. So you would have broken the video game.
Yeah, that was a good idea.
Speaker 1 A lot of people worked very hard on that video.
Speaker 5 The goal was to mess up the passing cone.
Speaker 1 I think that worked.
Speaker 1 Do you play with yourselves in Madden?
Speaker 5 Yeah.
Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1 we have a great offense.
Speaker 5 It's like all you want in Madden. So, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 I don't play Madden.
Speaker 1 I play NASCAR.
Speaker 1
You play NASCAR versus 100%. NASCAR.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
I got the whole setup. You just drive around.
No, you know what's fun is I just go in a circle for 400.
Speaker 1 No, it's pretty sweet because I'm like old school racing where I'm going to bump someone out of the way and put him into the wall. And what about the other like 395 laps?
Speaker 1
No, I don't do the whole thing. It's only getting a percentage of the race.
He only was 125 laps. He just turns up like Almond Brothers, throws in a tin of Copenhagen, and just pretends to
Speaker 1 drive.
Speaker 1 yeah just driving simulator yeah driving support anthony's german driving simulator yeah um when we were with baker mayfield he is baker's a big-time listen to the haters guys and like he'll he'll take note of anyone who's ever slighted him or said something bad about him are you the same way I mean, there's definitely times where I hear stuff that it can keep motivating me.
Speaker 5 And it's not something that I kind of look at and kind of always pay attention to.
Speaker 5 But yeah, I mean, if you're a person in NFL, you've had people that have kind of hated on you your whole life. No one believes when you're 12 years old, you're going to be an NFL football player.
Speaker 5 And so unless they're special occasions.
Speaker 5 But yeah, everybody thought I was going to be a baseball player when I kind of chose football. Everybody was kind of like, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 And so to me, it was like, all right, I got to go out there and make this work. I got to go out there and prove these people wrong.
Speaker 5 And so you definitely see some stuff and you kind of follow it away, like, all right, I'm going to go out there and do it. But it's not something I like pay attention to all the time.
Speaker 1 Okay, well, I got some hate that I want to read for you.
Speaker 1 Someone tweeted, didn't trade up to take Patrick Patrick Mahomes in the top 10. That's a huge all-caps win.
Speaker 5 Yeah, not a lot of people were happy that I got picked 10th overall.
Speaker 1
I wrote that tweet. Oh, I got you.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 1
I also said the hot take was I saw like one gif of you like before the season started. I was like, Patrick Mahomes is overrated.
This guy stinks. So,
Speaker 1 I mean, I still
Speaker 1 would, I still am going to back Mitch Trubisky, but I think you're probably okay at football.
Speaker 5
Yeah, Mitch is good, man. Mitch is a good player, and he's got Naggy there now.
So they're really kind of taking off. But
Speaker 5 yeah, I mean, I appreciate the tweets. You know, you motivated me, I guess.
Speaker 1 I was a big hater, but listen, I had to defend my guy, and credit to me, I knew that I was wrong basically right away. Like your first game, I was like, whoops, that was a mistake.
Speaker 1
So I'm now on the right side. You're a good team player.
Yeah, exactly. You just got to stick with your guy.
I might have motivated you, actually. Who knows? Probably.
Speaker 5 Yeah, if I'd have followed you back then, I would have known that.
Speaker 1
And I might have to go. I've had a better season.
Yeah, then you followed me, and then I had had to start saying really nice shit about you.
Speaker 1
Yeah. What about this one? Excellent tackle on the interception by Blake Bortles.
Pat Mahomes doesn't throw interceptions because he's a coward.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 5
I don't know about that one. I can't remember the last one.
I made a tackle. I threw interceptions against the Patriots, and Hightower hurdled me.
Speaker 1 So I need to work on that one. Yeah,
Speaker 1 Blake can help you out. Okay, what about this? A little
Speaker 1
starting, let's say you guys are starting a team. You're the GM.
Would you rather have a quarterback that is thrown for 5,300 career yards or 5,400 career yards?
Speaker 5 Which one is me?
Speaker 1 You're the 5,300, Mitch Trubisky's 5,400.
Speaker 5
I don't know. It depends on the team, I guess.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1
There we go. So maybe the JBM is still out.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 I'm going to nitpick as many stats. You actually probably have to run a little more because that's the one I'm going to hold on to.
Speaker 1 Like, you keep breaking all these records and doing all these things. I'm just going to keep being like, yeah, but Mitch runs for more yards.
Speaker 5
Yeah, well, I stopped running in college. My last year, I ran twice, and I got two AC sprains on both shoulders in two different times.
I ran. And I was like, yeah, it's probably not for me.
Speaker 1 Okay. So, yeah, you're not a dual threat.
Speaker 1 Yeah, so Big Cat brought up a good point. We do nitpick you sometimes, but
Speaker 1 there are very few players that we do that to, and those are players that are so universally beloved that we like a lot that we have to find something wrong with them because as fans, we have to be haters at times.
Speaker 1 So you want to get into some of the nitpicks? You go like this too much when you, you're when
Speaker 1
trying to hear the play. You put your both hands up to your ears too much.
Yeah, arrowhead. Yeah, but you're too like...
No, but you're on offense. Are you cheering? That's a lie.
Speaker 1 You wave them around. You think you look cool?
Speaker 5 Yeah, I think it's just because the arrowhead's so loud. You make a good play and they're still cheering.
Speaker 1 It's so loud. Are you saying that they're bad fans because they don't know the game of football and to be quiet on offense?
Speaker 5 No, I'm saying the good fans because they can never be quiet because there's so many people in the stadium. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 Okay. What about how you always point for first downs on penalties? And when you get a first down, it's pretty obnoxious.
Speaker 5 Yeah, I got to make sure I get it, you know?
Speaker 1
Yeah, but you always like, it's just Patrick Mahomes. But think about it.
Think about this. We get it.
Think about it this way.
Speaker 5 The refs are thinking about it. They look over, they see someone pointing for the first down.
Speaker 5 First down.
Speaker 1 Oh, that's like
Speaker 1
pointing a direction in basketball when there's a loose ball. Yeah.
Out of bounds. Like the catcher framing a third strike.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 You got to give them the that actually is a very good explanation for.
Speaker 1 You wear a lot of turtlenecks.
Speaker 5 I've only wore one turtleneck all season last year.
Speaker 1 It's big and
Speaker 1
you wore it 60 times. I wore it once.
I've seen it.
Speaker 1 Well, okay, maybe it's not all.
Speaker 1
This isn't going on a lot. I wore it twice.
Hold on, two plants. Exactly.
Thank you. Thank you.
Two plants. And I'm pretty sure that I've seen you with like a headband around your neck, too.
Speaker 1 So there's just a lot of stuff happening at your neck.
Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah, I like to have a very humid and warm neck.
Speaker 1
You got to keep that voice ready to go. Yeah, exactly.
I'll lose it quick, man. Yes.
Speaker 1 What about the big white block on your helmet in the front? That's obnoxious.
Speaker 5 You got to talk to the helmet people about that. Okay.
Speaker 1 Well, you could put like a logo of yourself on it or something.
Speaker 5 Yeah, but then you wouldn't be a helmet guy. You'd be a little bit of a team.
Speaker 1
Oh, okay. Well, here's the thing.
You wouldn't be a team guy. Well, let's put a
Speaker 1
logo of you pointing to the first down. That way you don't annoy me.
Two birds with one stone. I'm not annoyed by the white spot on your helmet, and now you don't have to point after the first down.
Speaker 5 I'll put a picture of Sherm.
Speaker 1
There we go. You guys know I have grit.
Or maybe just a little sausage with his face and two hands, stick hands coming out.
Speaker 5 So a full body picture of him.
Speaker 1 Yeah, we might actually have a shirt on it. And then you get a visor so that when he looks at you, he's like, shit, I do have to throw it to the sausage with hands.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I do want to see the next one.
Speaker 5 I just did an Oakley deal, so I can get him a visor for sure.
Speaker 1 Are you going to wear a visor next year? We'll see. Quarterbacks can't wear
Speaker 1 it. If you had the mirrored visor, that'd be sick.
Speaker 5 I don't think they allow that because then you can't see the quarterback's eyes. But I mean, that doesn't matter with me.
Speaker 1 Not with you, that'd be an advantage.
Speaker 5 It might help out the D.
Speaker 1
You look like a robot from the future playing quarterback. Both hands, not looking anywhere.
Wait, so do you think our nitpicking was fair?
Speaker 1 You have to
Speaker 5 be nitpicking. Some of it.
Speaker 1
Pointing. Last point, you know you point too much.
I do point a lot. Yeah, you do a lot.
Last one,
Speaker 1 your voice is hilarious.
Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I've heard about it my whole life.
Speaker 1
And again, this is one of those things that, like, we have to find something almost as a joke to poke fun at. But it's a very unique voice, and I know that Coach Reid absolutely loves it.
He does.
Speaker 1 He calls you the voice, he calls you Froggy.
Speaker 5 Is that one other?
Speaker 5 He might say Froggy real quick, but the voice is his go-to, and he actually can mimic my voice perfectly.
Speaker 1 Really? can you do an impression of andy reed doing an impression of you then i'd just be talking yeah
Speaker 1 i'd just be saying words yeah yeah that was pretty good yeah that's great
Speaker 1 that was a good job the best is when he got in the huddle for the first time and you heard him kind of spit out a play and that voice and you're like
Speaker 1 What's going on?
Speaker 5 No, it messed me up because I was talking and you know, you're like looking around the huddle and I looked over and Kelse was laughing.
Speaker 1 And so it didn't have to be.
Speaker 5 I just stopped calling the play and I was like, bro, just went to him and was like, hey, just let me call the play.
Speaker 1 play like dude I'm the franchise quarterback you're gonna have to get used to this it's actually a very cool voice and it's unique which is I think important to have like you stand out a little bit that way distinguished it's distinguished it is distinguished yeah it has a lot of grit yes oh it does it has gravel in it yep um sounds like you actually have like pebbles in your trunk
Speaker 1 i have one last one uh none of your teammates tweeted happy birthday to you when it was your birthday oh wow It was a game day.
Speaker 5 We were thinking about football.
Speaker 1 No, it was Monday.
Speaker 5 Yeah, Monday, Sunday, game day.
Speaker 1
Yeah, Thursday, game day. You got to always be ready.
You're always ready.
Speaker 1
So it's a day that there's football on, that's a game day. Actually, that's the most relatable thing that you've ever said.
Yeah. Like, game days are everyday football's on.
That's true.
Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't matter if your team's playing game day. I thought maybe Bo Callahan 2.0 on that one.
Speaker 1
It's actually very annoying how well you handled all those nipples. Yeah, that was.
You are
Speaker 1 everything I do.
Speaker 1 Great. You guys brought up
Speaker 1 Matt Nagy.
Speaker 1 he was your coach for a couple years what what was he like as a coach are you surprised at all that he's having so much success in Chicago no not at all what like what type of guy is he I'm looking for a quote that way they'll run it in Chicago and they'll be great yeah a quote yeah
Speaker 1 Matt Nagy is he's awesome he's just a coaches a player's coach like he listens he wants you to have your personalities a lot like coach Reid where he just lets you be your own person and you know there's certain there's rules but
Speaker 1 adapt and let's let's have some fun and go out there and put some points in the board and stop them on D.
Speaker 5 Yeah, you see it with his play calling. I mean, he's never satisfied, he always wants to be innovative and do different stuff, and so that's how his personality is.
Speaker 5 He's going to let you show your personality, he's going to have fun, but when it's serious, he's going to be serious.
Speaker 5 I mean, you see him that sometimes he's on the sideline, yelling a little bit with that visor on, that bald head. Yeah, you know, he's about business.
Speaker 1 Yeah, did you make fun of the visor? I mean,
Speaker 1 it's a specific look that only a few people can pull off i think he pulls it off decently no he pulls it off the only thing that it gets him is training camp he gets the tan line yeah the visor tan line that's when you have to kind of throw a few few jabs at him yeah that's a good thing he throws them back so yeah the super red head at the top yeah absolutely um how much do you guys squat
Speaker 1 i don't want to talk you go first why uh because
Speaker 5 i'm a i'm a i'm a front squat guy now they made they made me do front squat you know so it's not like a true max so i'm not gonna talk about it right now okay so what i'm a big deadlift guy, though.
Speaker 1
Okay, he's a big deadlift guy. Get back to squats.
So you front squat, what, you put like a plate on each side?
Speaker 5 No, you got to pass two pass on, dude. I mean, you got to have two on there.
Speaker 1 You think I could outsquat you?
Speaker 5 Probably not.
Speaker 1 You want to go? What do you bench?
Speaker 5 The last time I benched was in college, and I didn't. Oh, that's what they all said.
Speaker 1 And I did
Speaker 1 remember this bench.
Speaker 5 For a quarterback, that's kind of bad.
Speaker 1 That is pretty.
Speaker 5 It's almost Brady Quinn almost.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I did want to do that at the combine.
Speaker 5 I did not
Speaker 5 want to do that because you get sore and you have to throw like the next day.
Speaker 1
So it's never good. It's pretty dumb that Brady Quentin.
Yeah, I mean, that was kind of 36 reps. I was like, I was like, I was like, right there, being like, hey, Brady, you should bench.
Speaker 5 She's like, no, yes.
Speaker 1 What do you squat?
Speaker 1
One rep max or a couple reps. You choose, whichever one you want to choose.
I would say a couple reps at 550. Jesus.
Speaker 1 Fuck.
Speaker 1
Ask the calves, too. Not the high school hairy shit.
That's ridiculous. All right, let's really put our cards on the table.
How much you guys calf raise?
Speaker 5
The real money. I've been really working on my calf raises.
I'm very skinny. I have elongated calves.
Speaker 1 So I've been working on them.
Speaker 5 Dude, they're strong. I can never get the bulkiness to them.
Speaker 1
That's the new thing. His calves are too long.
Yeah. Yeah.
That might be it. That's the nitpick.
Speaker 5 That's why I always wear leggings. You never see them.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we hate the leggings, too. I forgot about that.
This thing stretched out to forever. What do you bench?
Speaker 1 465.
Speaker 7 Jesus Christ. Okay.
Speaker 1 So you're just like.
Speaker 1
I'm a meathead. That's a lot.
I mean, that's just. Yeah.
Do you ever... So
Speaker 1
my job is to run full speed into other humans. Do you ever show up to a Gold's Gym or a Planet Fitness and just bench in front of people? I don't.
I would do that if I did.
Speaker 1 I don't because it's that irritates me.
Speaker 5 He goes back to his high school back home in the offseason.
Speaker 1 I don't, actually.
Speaker 5 So he could show everybody, you know.
Speaker 1 He puts his new maxes on the wall, right? Yeah, you know, they had like the high school maxes on the bottom.
Speaker 5 It says Sherm's max.
Speaker 1
Yeah, Sherm's career. Sherm's career max.
How close was Hugh Jackson to drafting you?
Speaker 5 I think pretty close. I mean, I would never know for sure, but they did like me a lot.
Speaker 5 A few, Coach Payton liked me a lot too, and a few other guys I know for sure.
Speaker 1 Did the Bears reach out to you at all?
Speaker 5
I talked to Ron Pace a lot, honestly. So, I mean, they definitely, Mitch was their guy, and they went and got him, but I did talk.
I met with them, had the visit with them, and everything.
Speaker 1 Huh. Because we were just going to fact-check Hugh Jackson for the rest of his career, being like, so who, because, you know, he wanted to draft every single good quarterback after the fact.
Speaker 5 No, he definitely, i went to the end the end visit he came out to to lubbock and uh work had a little workout thing going on so he he definitely quizzed me and he looked at me a lot was there one team that you thought you were for sure going to go to that we can like throw out there so the fan base can be like damn we could add patrick mahomes there's a couple teams the chiefs i thought for sure here for sure i was going to go here
Speaker 5 the cardinals they like they like me a lot okay and the saints those are the teams that kind of really liked me okay saints are in a good position cardinals i guess now they're yeah they're happy
Speaker 5 they had the Saints, man. I'd probably still be backing up Drew, man.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 Do you think you could have handled that to be like a three, four, five-year backup for a quarterback?
Speaker 5 Yeah, when the guy's throwing for the stuff he's throwing for,
Speaker 5 you're fine with just backing him up and learning as much as possible.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Okay.
That's a good advantage. I feel like at some point.
In theory, yeah. Like in practice, after a couple years, you'd probably just be like, man, just turn me loose.
Speaker 5 You'd be the best practice player ever, though, man.
Speaker 1 That's true.
Speaker 1 Think about it that way. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Do you think you could kill a man with a football
Speaker 5 i hope not i hope not i mean
Speaker 1 uh it would have to be very fast and had to hit the perfect spot 10 yards away 10 yards away i'm standing over here running my little mouth doing my little impressions of you really annoying you you have a football and you have an opportunity to shut me up for good okay maybe not kill me maybe just break my jaw yep so i can't probably break i'll probably i probably break break the jaw but i don't know about kill a man
Speaker 5 that'd be pretty tough that's pretty good uh what's your deal with ketchup you're a weirdo Yeah, it's actually gotten a lot better as I've gotten older. Okay.
Speaker 5 When I was young, I used to eat ketchup sandwiches, just bread and ketchup.
Speaker 5 So
Speaker 5 that is disgusting.
Speaker 1 How often?
Speaker 5 Every other day.
Speaker 1 Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 maybe I could throw it far.
Speaker 5 It might have been the trick.
Speaker 1 That's like Jim Hardaugh drank a lot of milk. You just had a lot of ketchup.
Speaker 5 Yeah, so that was definitely something that I got away from as I got a little bit older. But I still do the mac and cheese, which people don't like.
Speaker 1 I like that.
Speaker 5
That's okay. And the steak.
Because I'm from Texas and people are all like obsessed with their steaks.
Speaker 5 And so like I've definitely been at a few nice restaurants where I've like got the steak and asked for ketchup and the chef comes out and asks like what's wrong?
Speaker 1 What's wrong?
Speaker 5 If I'm ordering this expensive steak, I want it the way I want it.
Speaker 1 Unbelievable. Is there anything you've like a bridge too far that you've tried to put ketchup on? You're like, no, this didn't work.
Speaker 5 Like all things that are healthy, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 5
I'm not a big healthy. I'm trying to eat healthier now to try to try to lose and cut weight, of course.
But there's I don't like a lot of it.
Speaker 5 So you know you gotta just like last last straw stuff you catch a few things of ketchup and just see if you can uh taste it out and make it work feel better, like vegetables,
Speaker 5 uh, yeah, but you just kind of mix it all up, you know.
Speaker 1 What vegetables are we talking about here?
Speaker 5 Like, like a little bit of like spinach. I tried ketchup on one time, wasn't the best, wasn't the best, yeah, that's kind of gross, yeah.
Speaker 5 So, other than that, man, I just kind of just stay away from vegetables as much as possible. Do you
Speaker 1 think you are good in cold games?
Speaker 1 Yeah, we played a lot of cold games this year, but you didn't before that, because Hank, our producer, who's a Patriots fan, said that that was his whole thesis behind the AFC Championship game.
Speaker 5 He's like, he can't play in the cold. I mean, the week before that, it was snowing.
Speaker 1 You pointed that out. You pointed that out.
Speaker 5 And then the week in Denver, the first season, it was also snowing. It was freezing.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but yeah, I mean, I thought
Speaker 5
we played alright. Okay.
So, I mean, they
Speaker 5 Tom just makes plays sometimes, and so that's kind of the X Factor of that game. What did he say to you after the game?
Speaker 1 Did you guys meet in the middle?
Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, he said a lot of of stuff. We didn't meet in the middle.
Speaker 5 He actually met me in the locker room after the game because they were kind of all hyped up after the win, of course, going to the Super Bowl.
Speaker 5
And, I mean, pretty much, I mean, he just talked about his experiences. I mean, he's won a lot of big games.
He's lost a couple, not a lot, but he's lost a couple. So he knows kind of that mentality.
Speaker 5 And he said he used to keep working.
Speaker 5
Maybe one of these days he'll stop playing football, which will probably be a long time from now. And so either that or we're going to have to find a way to get through them at some point.
But
Speaker 5 they're the top guys, and you have to strive to find some way to beat them.
Speaker 1 Yeah, spin zone, you didn't, well, Blake, our guy, Blake Bortles, when he lost the AFC Championship game, he says he didn't cry, and he just squirted water in his face by accident.
Speaker 1 You didn't have anything that was even questionable to that.
Speaker 1 Yeah,
Speaker 5 I didn't cry. I was upset for sure.
Speaker 1 How long did it take to get over that loss?
Speaker 5 So after the Super Bowl, for sure.
Speaker 5 I was still waking up in the mornings, like, man, we could be playing right now. Like, we could be in the Super Bowl.
Speaker 5 Even like going to NFL Honors, it was awesome, but you're like, man, they're playing a Super Bowl next day. That'd be way better.
Speaker 1 Lynn, what was it like in the locker room with uh d forward after like obviously you don't like you you can't blame a guy but it's it was a huge play i didn't even think about that at all in the locker room uh people make a big deal about it but i mean like you said i mean it's it's one play like we could have the game could have changed offense scored like no points in the first half because we we were we were struggling i tweeted about how awesome i was because i bet the under so thanks for that
Speaker 5 i was like this game is going so under yeah but i mean they they had a good defensive plan uh we found ways to make plays in the second half, but nothing was easy.
Speaker 5 I mean, Belichick, he knows how to scout and do those things.
Speaker 5 And so we'll have to find a way to play him again this year, and there'll be a lot of good teams in the AFC, so we're at the final way to beat them. Did you talk to DeFord after?
Speaker 1 Not that I didn't want to talk to him.
Speaker 1 That didn't even cross my mind that that was the reason
Speaker 1
because it's not. Like Pat said, we score one touchdown in the first half.
The game could have been completely different going into the second half.
Speaker 1
So it was one of those things where it's not just one play. I know it's cliche.
No, but it's true. It really is.
Speaker 1 I mean, there's plenty of opportunities throughout that game that that one play didn't cause.
Speaker 1 That's a media thing, too. Like, we, we are very open about, like, you know, we're fans, but obviously we're partially in the media now.
Speaker 1 And, like, I think media loves to throw narratives out there and point to one play. But from your guys' perspective, you're like, we could have won a million different times.
Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly. And like we said, I mean, the first, I had this, I got sacked in the first half, and it took us out of field goal range, and that right there is, it changes the whole game.
Speaker 1 So that just it speaks to there's little stuff that happens throughout a game that that changed the whole narrative of the game in the end yeah so coming off a season like yours you're the mvp you're pro bowler how do you do like when you're going into the next year you played so well last year is there anything that you're focusing on like i need to change something or is it just i need to do what i was doing last year except like a little bit more intensity
Speaker 5 yeah it's definitely stuff that i that i need to change as i looked at a scheme eval and kind of looked over all the stuff there was a lot of times where i could have have taken the easy throws, moved the chains instead of going for the big one.
Speaker 5 That's something I have to kind of manage is I want to scramble around and throw the touchdown, the 50-yard touchdown, but when you have a first down right there, let's just get the first down and move the chains.
Speaker 5 So as I get more experience, I'm going to keep working on that of knowing when to go for the big shot and when to just take the easy one and get the first down.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but you don't want to get rid of that, though. You don't want to get rid of like it's a balance, man.
Speaker 5 I mean, it really is. Like, I've dealt with it my whole life is I've always wanted to scramble around, throw it 50 yards downfield and catch a touchdown.
Speaker 5 But when you get to the NFL, man, you have to take advantage of every possession.
Speaker 1 I would like a couple more check downs. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah, let's do that.
Speaker 1 I'm the check-down guy that he's talking about. Have you
Speaker 1 like any moment in the offseason been like, maybe if I had squatted 10 more pounds, Patrick wouldn't have taken that sack and we would have had that field goal? Think about that.
Speaker 1
I mean, that's a good point. Yeah.
I mean, sometimes you think like that when you're in the gym. If you're in the gym, you got the music going.
Speaker 1 You think about other times in your career that you should have been stronger.
Speaker 1 Would you rather catch a wheel route for a touchdown for like a 40-yard touchdown or lay somebody out on a block? Lay someone out on a block.
Speaker 1 Flat back, pancake, step on his chest at a whole nine yards. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1
For sure. For sure.
You're talking about stepping on people's chests. He won't even break my jaw with a football.
Speaker 1 Well, that's a QB, and that's Pet. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Has there ever been, what's the one block that you missed that you like keeps you up at night?
Speaker 1 Who's your quarterback at UConn?
Speaker 1 Zach Frazier. Okay.
Speaker 1
Tyler Lorenzen. Okay.
Know the last name. Everyone knows those guys.
Yeah. You were.
No, Orlofsky was older, right? Yeah. Yeah.
A lot older. Okay.
We're going to go there. I'm just trying to think.
Speaker 1 We're going to try to be without quarterbacks at UConn. I can't really.
Speaker 1 Yes. No.
Speaker 5 Kimball Walker.
Speaker 1 Yeah, Kimball Walker.
Speaker 1
We got basketball guys for sure. Kim Calhoun's the basketball.
Men's and women. Yeah, Jim Calhoun is, you know, quote machine.
Yeah. So.
Speaker 5 Big basketball school.
Speaker 1 Yeah, now Texas Tech is too. Yeah, we had Chris Beard.
Speaker 5 That's like the grittiest guy. You don't need to get him on him.
Speaker 1 That's true. We actually were going to get him on if you guys won.
Speaker 5 Like I was, it was all set up.
Speaker 1
You're taking shots like that? No, it wasn't a shot. It's a fact.
If Texas Tech had won the national championship, we would have Chris Beard.
Speaker 1 I'm actually kind of glad they didn't because they didn't want to listen to him when we got back. And he was on great TV and doing everything
Speaker 1
of Patrick Mahomes. Like, so excited.
He was doing this.
Speaker 1
Like, come on. Right.
Because we know. Oh, no, you signed the DS.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you can't have that taken from you. Yeah, we got more championships.
Yeah, exactly. Basketball.
Speaker 1 Do you hate Chris Long now?
Speaker 5
I don't. He was there.
He was with Danny. So
Speaker 5 I saw him. But yeah,
Speaker 5 too good of a dude to hate him.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
It's hard to hate that guy off. Yes.
Yes. He is way too good of a dude.
All right. I got one last question.
It's a Seat Geek question.
Speaker 1
Use promo code TAKE. You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.
How many touchdowns are you going to throw this next year?
Speaker 5 Enough to win the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1
No. Give me a number.
Oh, did you just guarantee a Super Bowl? Oh. Yeah, no, that's a better answer.
No, no, no.
Speaker 5 But as many touchdowns as I can throw that helps us find a way to win the Super Bowl, that'd be awesome.
Speaker 1 So give me a number. 52.
Speaker 5 I don't know. We'll see.
Speaker 1 45.
Speaker 1 I'll give it a number.
Speaker 1
I'll give a number. I'll say 48.
48? 48. Wow, sophomore slump.
No, not sophomore slump.
Speaker 1
I'm going to run more now. He might come up with a number.
No, do that. Be careful with those long catches.
And do not do that. That's the only thing I have with Mitch right now.
So don't do that.
Speaker 1 I need to be like, I would still take Mitch over Patrick Black. All right, four touchdowns to him and 48 total.
Speaker 5 Yes, and then three running touchdowns with him blocking for me.
Speaker 1 And I'd say 15% less pointing for first downs. That's going to be in your head.
Speaker 1 I'm going to work on that before you go. Do you think at some point this next season, you will point for a first down and you'll think of these two idiots? I'm pointing at myself.
Speaker 5 Maybe, maybe 20.
Speaker 1 I'm going to DM
Speaker 1
every single game. Because I'll remember it.
I might do it. When I'm sitting here on the sideline, I'll remember it.
Be like, hey,
Speaker 1 look what he did. It's not
Speaker 1 when it's a big play, that's fine, but when it's like, it'll be like a little five-yard penalty. You'd be like, it's like, come on, man.
Speaker 5 I'm going to do a super aggressive one. Let's know it's for you.
Speaker 1 Okay, super aggressive one. That works too.
Speaker 1 I like that. My last question.
Speaker 1 Have you heard my impression of you before today?
Speaker 5
Yes. I've heard it.
I've seen it on Twitter, man.
Speaker 1 When you first saw it, did you think I I was the world's biggest asshole or do you think it was funny?
Speaker 5
I thought it was pretty funny, honestly. Because you had like a full, it wasn't like you were just doing the impression.
You had a full, like, like, like I was doing an interview.
Speaker 1
Yeah, that made it better. You take it down to you.
It made it better. Also, I think it helps that I suck at it, and I'm actually not good.
Speaker 1 I just kind of do weird stuff that sounds like Yoda, and I call it an impression.
Speaker 5 That makes it better, though.
Speaker 1 Yeah. It's not like you're actually like going full out trying.
Speaker 5 You're just doing whatever you think's best.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Okay.
All right, good. That's been weighing on me.
Do you want to ask him a question to Patrick Mahomes? How good were you at playing 500 when you were a kid?
Speaker 1 And you bet you could throw the football a quarter mile right straight through the clouds.
Speaker 5 All I heard was football as a kid, and I didn't play football until I was like in high school.
Speaker 1 Patrick, you mister B.
Speaker 1 Throw the ball a quarter mile through the clouds. I heard it because I cannot play.
Speaker 1 Patrick, I was playing 500 when he was in the backyard.
Speaker 5 I've never heard myself talk in person, so I can't understand. I can't understand.
Speaker 1 Is that better or worse than Coach Reids?
Speaker 5
No, dude, Coach Reid's is on point, man. Okay.
Coach Reed is exactly what I think I sound like. So to me, it's on point, at least.
Speaker 1 Does Coach Reed, the gif of him running, you know, it's obviously fake, the running through the wall, the Kool-Aid, man. Do you guys, does he come into the locker room, like, just firing?
Speaker 1 Like, I would imagine he's the type of guy. He comes in the locker room and he just fires everyone up just by his presence.
Speaker 5 Yeah, on game day, for sure.
Speaker 1 On game day, what does he say? What's his speech like?
Speaker 1
He really doesn't give a speech. It's just his presence and his knowledge of the game that you just sit there and go, okay, we're all right.
He's calling the plays.
Speaker 1 We got to send you guys a picture or a t-shirt. We made the football guy t-shirts of Coach Reed when he was in that punt, pass, and kick competition.
Speaker 1
Please, you guys should have a chance. Hank, put that, write that down.
Please,
Speaker 1 send a bunch of people.
Speaker 1 It is the greatest picture of all time.
Speaker 5 Yes, the first time I saw that, I had to show my home.
Speaker 1
It is the best that always comes up in our first Monday night game. They always have to show it.
It's so funny. If you look at the graphics on the screen, they misspell his last name, too.
Speaker 1
It's Andrew R. I.
E. D.
It's so good. And he's like lined up, ready to go.
Speaker 1 How far could, well, do you have a pooch punt in your arsenal?
Speaker 5 I do.
Speaker 5 Our special teams coach, Tob,
Speaker 5 he's not giving me the opportunity to pull it out.
Speaker 5 So
Speaker 5 I have it.
Speaker 5 I try to plead for it, and I try to go for it. But we have a pretty good punter, and he says that he can kind of do it on his own.
Speaker 1 You can do it better than? So you're one-dimensional. You only play offense.
Speaker 5 Oh, I can play defense. I played safety when I was in high school.
Speaker 1 No tackling.
Speaker 1
Have you played safety in the NFL? No tackles, six interceptions. Yes, no tackles.
Have you played safety in the NFL?
Speaker 1 Not yet. Oh, I have.
Speaker 1
Ooh. Ooh.
Wait, last, last question, you brought up Dave Tob, who's a special teams legend, used to be the special team coach for the Bears. You are on Special Teams, Sherm.
Speaker 1 Does he, the Dave Tob special where he has one guy pretending to catch the punt and then it gets caught on the other side, is that a play he calls? Or like, do you just do it?
Speaker 1
You're always ready for it. No, that's a play he calls.
That's fucking, it's the best play in all.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 When he first put it in, he showed us that clip. And we had a team creator, a buddy of mine, and he's not on the team anymore, but Frank Zambo, he was actually on Green Bay when it happened to him.
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. And he's like, I remember this happening.
It was crazy. It was insane.
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 It's basically two guys back for the punt, and one guy pretends to catch it, and the ball is just in a completely different direction. I still don't really understand how it works.
Speaker 1
Because, like, the punter knows where he's punting. It turns out that when you're running back to cover the kick, you don't look up in the table.
You just look at who he's going for.
Speaker 1
They found a weakness in the return. It's a loophole in the loophole in the return.
Well, it's actually, that's even what we talk about when we're on punt team and we're kicking the ball.
Speaker 1 Like, hey, alert that way, Tobe, yeah. Look for the ball in the air to make sure we're not going in the wrong direction.
Speaker 1 What is that called?
Speaker 5 Like the Dave Tobes special?
Speaker 1
It is. I mean, I call it the Tob special, but I like that.
Yeah, that's a good name for it. It works.
I like that, and I like when the punter puts the ball behind their back to fake the reverse.
Speaker 1
Yeah, or when someone lays down in the end zone. Yeah, when Sean Payton has some guy wearing like a Dave Tob has that.
When they're an all-black strip. I haven't seen it yet.
I've seven years.
Speaker 1
I feel like Pole probably has that somewhere in there in the library. Last, last question for me.
Do you guys really like the Color Rush uniforms?
Speaker 5 I love our Color Rush uniforms.
Speaker 1
It's all red. It's just like what about the all-white? I'm like a big ketchup bottle.
I'm just out there swinging it around.
Speaker 1 I like the all-whites, Chiefs that you guys have. Those are clean.
Speaker 5 Yeah, those are sweet.
Speaker 5 We played those against the Rams, though, so we lost in those, so I didn't.
Speaker 1
That's true. That's true.
We always gotta be. They still pretty sweet, though.
Yeah, they are pretty sweet.
Speaker 1
I mean, last, last, last, last question. Are you faster when you wear white cleats? I'm never faster.
For sure, look faster. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I don't know if you are
Speaker 1 definitely. If you feel faster and you're confident,
Speaker 1 you look good, you play good
Speaker 1 guy.
Speaker 5 So, like, maybe the white cleats look like I'm running you.
Speaker 1
That might be something you guys can nitpick. Yeah, where you just literally do this nitpicking stuff.
Yeah, right, that low knees.
Speaker 1
Knees, never knocks. No knee drags.
No knees in the homes. Yeah, low knee drags.
That's what they call them. It's because I have such elongated calves.
That's right. That's right.
Elongated calves.
Speaker 1
It all starts at the calves. Screws up.
Jeez, you're just a freak. You're so weird looking.
Speaker 1
All right. Well, thank you guys.
Grit week. The kickoff of Grit Week.
It was a pleasure. Best of luck in 2019.
And you now are a recurring guest. You have to come on anytime we ask.
Okay, sounds good.
Speaker 1
Perfect. Literally, anytime.
Thanks, boys. Appreciate it.
All right. Thank you.
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Speaker 1
Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have Breaking Moose.
Oh, Breaking Moose.
Speaker 1 Brooks Kepka
Speaker 1 has
Speaker 1 posted on Instagram his picture with the trophy holding four for all four majors he's won. Four major tournaments for me.
Speaker 1 And the caption: now that's Gucci, bra. That's Gucci, bra.
Speaker 1 Gucci, bra.
Speaker 4 That breaking moose was brought to you by chocolate milk for real recovery. That tastes real good.
Speaker 1
Ooh, great job. Slid that one in there, Hank.
What happened there? Do they not make you read anymore? I just did. He read that.
You literally just read it. There's nothing else? No.
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1
That's Gucci, brah. That is Gucci.
What are the healthiest ingredients in chocolate milk, Hank?
Speaker 1
Do you remember what they used to make you say? They have milk. Milk.
Milk. Calcium.
Whey. Calcium.
Whey. Paint.
Speaker 1
All right. PR 101 for Kevin Durant.
We're not going to use the word babyback bitch.
Speaker 1
Don't. But we aren't.
I said we weren't, but I have to tell people that what I'm not going to say is babyback bitch. We're not going to call him a baby back bitch because he's not a baby back bitch.
Speaker 1
Right. And we don't say babyback bitch anymore.
So no more babyback bitches. That's not what we were going to say about Kevin Durant.
But if we were to call him a baby back bitch.
Speaker 1 Well, if we were to describe this behavior,
Speaker 1
it's the behavior of a baby back bitch. But it's not what we're saying right now.
So
Speaker 1
someone put an Instagram where it was Warriors Talk Instagram account. A kid replied, doubt us without KD.
Doubt Curry, Clay, and Dre, and keep thinking Milwaukee is better.
Speaker 1
You're all doubters and haters will see. Pretty innocuous.
Kevin Durant replied, very divisive, Mikey. Let's celebrate this win as dub nation.
Fuck wrong with you.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 It's coming out 20.
Speaker 1 Stay off the weed.
Speaker 1 Kevin Durant, always online. You know what? We've decided, though, as a podcast, we kind of like it because he is now committed to this.
Speaker 1
You know, the burner account was a tipping point where everyone's like, Jesus Christ, dude, you care too much. But since then, he has stayed online.
No, Kevin Durant.
Speaker 1 He's tweeted and Instagram and done all this through it. And now he's on the other end where it's like, you know what? He just wants to clap back at all hours.
Speaker 1 I think Kevin Durant honestly goes in the posting Hall of Fame for how online he is, considering his level of fame.
Speaker 1 I would say it's like him and Anthony Weiner are the two most consistently committed online guys in the game today, maybe of all time.
Speaker 1
And the best part is it's very relatable because really the only difference between us and Kevin Durant right now is a jump shot. That's it.
That's it. Yeah, we can shoot one.
We are the same.
Speaker 1
We can shoot one and his calf is strained so he can't. Right now, I could probably beat him one-on-one.
I could absolutely beat Kevin Durant one-on-one right now.
Speaker 1
But it is like he's just always online and I kind of like it now. I like it too.
My PR 101 for him, this is kind of coming out of left field, but bear with with me.
Speaker 1 Have you guys seen the new trend in the internet of that lady that just runs like a horse everywhere? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 So if Kevin Durant wants people to get off his back, he should just get into horse girl internet and just do things where he... Did you see the girl doing the jumps over the
Speaker 1
recreated that? Yeah. I recreated that video like five years, which was one of the weirdest things.
Yeah, Hank video too. It's coming back.
Hank and I just jumped over.
Speaker 1 We got on our hands and knees and jumped over a bunch of things.
Speaker 4 And this girl lady's name is
Speaker 4 Anna Seth.
Speaker 1
And now she's jumping like a horse. She's really good at running like a horse.
Wait, is she grown up? Is it the same woman?
Speaker 1
Oh, there's a little girl that we did this. No, it's not a little girl.
It's very weird. No, it's.
The little girl is the original. No, no, no.
Speaker 4
No, it was an old lady. It was a lady.
It was a lady.
Speaker 1 Yeah,
Speaker 1
no, the little girl's the OG horse animal. Whoever this lady is, horse painted.
It's just
Speaker 1
mastered the gait of a horse, I think. Like running through a field, doing a little gallop.
Yeah, yeah. It's perfect.
Speaker 1 I'm weirdly in love with her. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Kevin Durant posts gay. I actually think Kevin Durant would be a really good horse imitator.
Speaker 1
Or if he just went like back to like internet 1.0 and just started like posting links to like cake farts and meat spin. Hamster dance.
Yeah, just like, hey guys, we're just going back in time.
Speaker 1 Kevin Durant would log on to meat spin and just be like, the fuck is this? He just started yelling at it.
Speaker 4 It was. Anna Solander, yeah.
Speaker 1 Is it the same? She's just all grown up? I don't know.
Speaker 4 I'm looking at the old video.
Speaker 1
Yeah. She's great.
Whoever the show is.
Speaker 1 The old video.
Speaker 1 This little girl, she just jumps like a horse. So it must be, I bet you she's all grown up.
Speaker 1 This is bad internet.
Speaker 1 Bad radio. Okay.
Speaker 1 So she's in.
Speaker 1 Yeah, she's really good. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But the older lady that's doing it these days, she's
Speaker 1 1.1 meter.
Speaker 1
We'll post the video of Main Dane jumping like a horse. Dude, look at that.
She jumped. This is the worst radio of all time.
Sorry about that.
Speaker 1
Now all hurdles are raised. And she's still jumping like a horse.
Fuck.
Speaker 1 That's crazy, man. That's like, I mean, she actually was like pre-woke because this video came out in like 2014.
Speaker 1
Be whoever you want to be. If that's a horse.
Yeah, if that's a horse. Go ahead.
Be your true self. You don't have to be aware of that.
Speaker 1
How about that horse that ran the entire preakness without a jockey? Awesome. I love that horse.
Yeah. In it for the love of the game.
It was like Ichabod Crane.
Speaker 1
Was that the name of it? No. Headless horse.
That would be cool. Just running around.
Yeah, the guy, and the guy fell off. And they tried to get it.
Did you see they tried to catch it?
Speaker 1 They tried to catch the horse?
Speaker 1 With the lasso? No, there was another, like, the people who run the track came up from behind and tried to catch the horse.
Speaker 1
What do you got? I'm not going to catch a horse. Are you talking about this lady? No, no.
No, that's the jazzer size lady. For answer size.
All right, so we're on
Speaker 1
the field. The bottom line is that Kevin Durant would make a fine horse imitation.
Yes, okay. I don't know how we got here, but we're here.
Speaker 1
Put one in his ear hole. Chris Long retired, and he didn't give us the fucking scoop.
Thanks for watching. The one scoop we wanted.
Way to make it all about yourself, Chris. Yeah, Chris, selfish.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I couldn't help but notice you were drinking of a solo cup.
Oh,
Speaker 1
not a T word cup. Wow.
Yeah. So cool.
I think it was one of those cases in beer pong. I think it was one of those cases where it was just a really nice day at Chris's house.
Speaker 1 And he was like, fuck work forever. Why would anybody want to work if it's so nice outside in my lush backyard? I really did feel like
Speaker 1 I finally got to the real journalist stage where I could honestly tweet, great player, even better guy.
Speaker 1 That's when you like, like Mitch Album, a little tear rolled down
Speaker 1 his face when he did that because it's like, hey, way to make it about yourself. That's what you got to do when someone retires.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you could also go the other direction and be like, hey, Chris, why didn't you do this before the draft? Right. So your team could have filled your hole.
Well, yeah, was he still on the Eagles?
Speaker 1
You left a big hole. Yeah, he did.
Huge hole. Big hole that needs to fill.
He actually did have, like, if you look at the advanced stats, Chris Lawrence was really fucking good
Speaker 1 years. Yes.
Speaker 1 And the all-22. All right.
Speaker 1 Before we get to monday reading game of thrones recap quick drunk idea pft you go first you had a drunk idea over the weekend uh saturday morning i came up with the idea for uh crossfit for chunky dogs
Speaker 1 so it's like a doggy daycare okay if your dog's a little chunk a little chunk of the trunk drop it off with like a personal trainer they charge you like 50 bucks 100 bucks an hour and then just run around with a dog they give it a workout but they make it all sciencey okay you put a heart rate monitor on it what about dog walks like oh dog walker It's like that, except it's way more sciencey.
Speaker 1
And more expensive. It's actually exactly the same as a dog walker.
Right. But you put a heart rate monitor on it, and you call it like CrossFit for Dogs.
I like that. Yeah.
That would actually work.
Speaker 1
It would work. People would pay three, four times as much for it.
Yeah. And you just started in Brooklyn.
All right. I have two drunk ideas.
One, I think I just incepted from Parks and Rec.
Speaker 1 I don't know if it's true or not.
Speaker 1 But I was in Milwaukee. They both came from Milwaukee, my drunk ideas.
Speaker 1 I saw the largest four-sided clock in the country, and I think we just need to be mayors of a city and just create insane records for everything. Like the biggest fire hydrant.
Speaker 1 I like that idea, but didn't you just describe every single jumbotron in the NBA? What do you mean? It's a four-sided clock. Yeah, well, no, it's a maybe it's an analog clock.
Speaker 1
Yeah, analog. It's got hands? Yeah, it's got the hands.
Okay. So that's why it was the biggest.
So we do a five-sided. It was pretty fucking big, dude.
How big are we talking? It was pretty big.
Speaker 1
What about like the biggest tire fire of known, like the longest tire fire? That's just polar. That might be Simpsons, yeah.
Yeah, so I think this is, yeah, I've been just watching it.
Speaker 1
But no, I like your idea. Just a bunch of attractions that you bring people to.
The world's biggest Adam. The world's biggest.
Yeah, and it's just an empty box. Oh, an empty box.
Speaker 1
Oh, I was going to say it was just a really tall dude named Adam. Oh, I was saying Adam as an A-T-O-M.
Yeah. And people won't know the difference.
Both.
Speaker 1 They'll just be like, trust me, it's still really small, but it's inside this glass case.
Speaker 1 And it's a seven-foot, three-inch guy named Adam
Speaker 1
holding the case. Yeah, it's like, hey, you can see the world's biggest Adam.
The double whammy. Yeah.
And we just do shit like the world's smallest toilet. And it's
Speaker 1
the world's smallest functioning toilet. Yeah.
Exactly. I didn't make that.
And we just keep doing that. It accepts like one squirt of jizz.
That's the size of the ball. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1 All right, my other drunk idea was kind of like how when we had Action Bronson on, he basically was like, yeah, I just film shows of shit I like to do.
Speaker 1 We should start a travel show where we eat wings, and it's like the first five minutes of the show is us eating wings, and the last 25 minutes is just us complaining about heartburn. Okay.
Speaker 1 So we just sit back and we're like, ah, fuck. So just we shouldn't have eaten all those wings.
Speaker 1 Why didn't somebody stop me from eating all the wings this time? Long silence and then a burp. And, I mean, Tums would be a great title sponsor.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we're essentially creating a show just to have our meals and antacids paid for. Yeah.
It's just great. It's perfect.
And it's just called Two Guys That Never Learned Their Lesson. Right.
Speaker 1 And they're just like, oh, the wings again. Should I get the hot ones or the mild?
Speaker 1
I'll go with the hot ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why not?
Speaker 1 Oh, I shouldn't have gotten the hot wings.
Speaker 1 I don't know if I'm going to be able to go out tonight.
Speaker 1
The start burning us in going to bed at seven o'clock. Yeah, we have a live cam in our bed to just roll over and just do that thing where you puke a little in your mouth.
Yeah. Fun fact.
Speaker 1 I think the last three road trips that we've been on as a podcast, I've woken up in the middle of the night to the hotel and just gone and thrown up from excessive amounts of sodium.
Speaker 1 Not from alcohol, from just eating a lot of unhealthy stuff that I know that I shouldn't eat. And then you drink like really cold water and it feels like the best cure of all time.
Speaker 1
Yeah, but you know what? That's how I test my body. That's how I make sure that I know my body's operating at peak performance.
Is if I can overload it with sodium and it still rejects it,
Speaker 1
then that's a healthy bod. If once I start absorbing all that sodium and my body just gives up, it's like, oh, you're not going to throw up because fuck it, you're going to die.
You're dying anyways.
Speaker 1 You're dead. So of my body is still
Speaker 1
good. Yeah, just keep checking on the old gut.
We have our Monday reading. This one's a doozy.
It's titled, My Children Are Furious. I'm Having Sex With Their Half-Brother.
Speaker 1 So, is it also known as a song of ice and fire?
Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1
That one makes no sense. But, all right, yeah, we'll get to that.
That was a bullshit part of that show. All right, Dear Prudence, my significant other died six months ago.
Speaker 1 Hold on, we might be getting a
Speaker 1 You're live on the podcast, so don't say anything stupid.
Speaker 1 Brooks Tempto, live on the podcast. Hey, Brooks, what's up?
Speaker 1
I'm on full send mode. Full send mode.
Full send mode.
Speaker 1 You're live on the podcast, just so you know. Hi, is that Jenna? Jenna, would you care to comment about the missed kiss?
Speaker 1 Would you care to comment about the missed kiss?
Speaker 1 Missed kiss comment.
Speaker 1
You handled it well. You handled it well.
She pleased the fifth. Yeah, I played the fifth.
You handled it well. We said you walked it off like a pro.
Speaker 1
She said you walked it off like a pro. Well, I recognize that.
Yeah, the kiss that mattered on 18. Yeah, there we go.
There we go. The kiss that mattered on 18.
Speaker 1 You heard it here first.
Speaker 1
All right, well, congrats, Brooks. Where are you? Congrats.
Hey, hey, hey, for real, though. That's Gucci, bro.
That's Gucci, bro.
Speaker 1
That's Gucci, bro. Congrats, dude.
Thanks, bro.
Speaker 1
I'll shout later. All right.
Talk to you later.
Speaker 1
All right. That was Brooks Kepka on the show.
Wow.
Speaker 4 Blake is smiling through his tears over there.
Speaker 1 Yeah, Blake, by the way, yeah, Blake Bortle is sitting off camera. But, I mean, do you want to have a comment? Blake, would you like to talk about
Speaker 1 Gucci bra is on? That's Blake of the Year. Yeah, you would love to say that's Gucci, bra.
Speaker 1
Come on, just say something, you know? All right, he's got nothing. All right, so back to this woman who's fucking her stepbrother, step son.
Jesus.
Speaker 1 No, her kids are mad at her because she's fucking
Speaker 1
their stepbrother. Yes, that's right.
Okay, here we go. I think I've seen this on the front page of Pornhub before.
Okay, here we go. My significant other died six months ago from a long-term illness.
Speaker 1 In our 25 years together, we had a 25-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son. During that time, he had an illegitimate son who is also 21 years old, just a few months older than our son.
Speaker 1
I didn't even meet this son until he was 15. After my significant other's death, he began living with me and my son.
So, wait, I'm okay.
Speaker 1 So, she, so her, her significant other died, had an illegitimate son, the illegitimate son moved in. So, this is just her getting back at her ghost husband, right? So, I'm all in favor of that.
Speaker 1
Like, get revenge on the ghost before he gets it on you. That, okay, so here we go.
So, she says,
Speaker 1 About a month ago, I developed a sexual relationship with my significant other's son, dead significant other, by the way.
Speaker 1
And my children have now disowned me, calling the relationship disgusting, a poor decision, and inappropriate. Love is like, you raised good children.
Love is great moral. That's a good spin zone.
Speaker 1 Yes. It's like, yes,
Speaker 1 you're doing your own test on your kids to see your parenting skills, and you're getting laid at the same time, and they're passing with flying colors.
Speaker 1
This seems like a rare win-win-win situation to me. You led them.
Yeah,
Speaker 1 you have raised great children who know the difference between right and wrong. Like, hey, don't fuck your dead husband's illegitimate son six months after your dead husband died.
Speaker 1 The trick is also going to be if you get pregnant, then that child is going to be
Speaker 1
both brothers and it's going to be the brother and the son of your stepchild. This is a perfect lead into Game of Thrones, by the way.
All right, so wrapping up, she says, This is her spin zone.
Speaker 1 The way I see it, other than the age gap of 25 years,
Speaker 1
we are both single, both adults. We are not related.
I didn't raise him. I didn't even meet him until he was 15 years old, and I was never actually married to his dad.
Speaker 1
Therefore, I was never actually his stepmom. That was more than just other than the age gap of 25 years old.
I like that, though. The fact that she was never married to his dad
Speaker 1
makes a big difference here. We are not related.
I didn't raise him. I didn't even meet him until he was 15 years old.
Speaker 1 Yeah, you're always, you can tell it's a successful relationship if you have to qualify it at the start by saying, under all laws, federal and state, what I'm doing is not illegal.
Speaker 1 Yes, I just want to get it out in the open. Do you think my children are correct in their perception of this relationship? And if so, for what reasons? It's your dead husband's.
Speaker 1 No, not husband, dead boyfriend's stepson.
Speaker 1 There's so many different. Dead husbands.
Speaker 1 No, dead significant others.
Speaker 1
Stepson. This is great.
I love these fucking things because it's like, and you're writing into
Speaker 1 prudence. What does prudence have to say about it?
Speaker 1 Prudence is basically like, listen to your kids, which is pretty sound advice there.
Speaker 1
And she said, you say you met him when he was 15, as if that explains everything. Good point, Prudence.
That doesn't. There's a lot more questions than answers for this woman.
Speaker 1
Yeah, so you met him when he was 15, and that's when you sized him up. Yeah.
You're like, you need to wait until... Yeah, you had to slowly poison your husband.
It's like when you can size.
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like when Coach K gives a letter, like a scholarship to an eight-year-old.
Speaker 1 Like, when you get to that point, give me a quick call.
Speaker 1
We'll have a conversation. Had one of those like tear away calendars, counting the days till you're 18.
Yes, exactly. This is fucked up.
I don't even know. Let's go to Game of Thrones.
Hank.
Speaker 1
Let's talk about fucked up. Let's talk about fucked up.
How mad are you on a scale of one to 10? Your queen is dead.
Speaker 4
Yeah, that was tough as the show turned into a hallmark ending. Tough night for Team Targ.
Danny's got stabbed by the other Targ, and then he had to renounce all of his titles, lands.
Speaker 4 They basically set him up to be the king of the realm, and then just like, all right, see ya.
Speaker 1 See ya.
Speaker 4 Because of the fucking unsullied.
Speaker 1 Yes. Who then
Speaker 4 fuck? Who then left.
Speaker 1 Right.
Speaker 4 It makes no sense. I mean, there's a million things that make no sense.
Speaker 1 I'm not the hopeless guys winning because at the end of the day, they don't have a package. No, but they might as well have something.
Speaker 4
But they won. They're like, all right, this is how it's going to go.
And then they basically said, John can't be king.
Speaker 4 He has to become go on the Night's Watch, who doesn't have to look after anyone because the Night King's fucking dead. And the Free Folk are
Speaker 1 the Night's Watch.
Speaker 4 And then after they said that, they just left.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I know, it's true. You were right.
Turn everybody into just like a big zombie. You were right.
Everybody's happy if everyone's dead. And Bran was like, why do you think I came here?
Speaker 1
We don't fucking know, dude. You've been talking riddles for the last five seasons.
We have no idea what you're doing at all.
Speaker 1 You know, it would have been a sick ending if Bran had been like the uncle from Breaking Bad and had a bomb in his wheelchair and just blown the shit out of everybody. Just like rung a bell.
Speaker 1 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Speaker 1 Sansa,
Speaker 4 so at the end of the day, it's Sansa was like, listen, Bran, you can be king, but I'm going to be the queen of the north.
Speaker 4 So, there's still a brother and sister ruling over the seven kingdoms, but they call one of them the six kingdoms, and the north is separate.
Speaker 1 Bran's the citrus candidate.
Speaker 4 So, if you're if you're not a stark, who's gonna buy that? Like, oh, Bran is the king of the six kingdoms.
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's called compromise.
Speaker 4 The north is separate, but it's also the king's sister.
Speaker 1 It's called compromise. When you compromise, everyone's equally unhappy, so everyone's happy.
Speaker 1 This whole thing, like,
Speaker 1 I'm thankful that I didn't spend 10 years of my life watching this show because I feel very bad for people who did. I binged it in the last three months.
Speaker 1 I was okay with whatever happened in the last season because I didn't commit my life to it.
Speaker 1 I feel bad for the people who committed 10 years of their life watching this show and then having them be like, dude, that moment when Samuel Tarley stood up and was like, why don't we all rule?
Speaker 1
And everyone's like, ha ha, you fucking fat fuck. Democracy will never work.
And like, it was so, like,
Speaker 1 just the whole way it ended. And then we didn't get any Aria.
Speaker 1 Arya, like, dude, the coolest thing that happened in Game of Thrones is Arya could just take off other people's faces, and she just stopped doing it. I want to see more faces be taken off.
Speaker 1
I want to see more shit. So, I don't know.
I mean, whatever.
Speaker 4 Tyrion just walking, like, and finding.
Speaker 1
I'm not mad because I honestly didn't commit myself. Like, I feel bad.
I honestly, like, people are mad.
Speaker 1 I'm more like, whatever.
Speaker 1
I think you were mad. And that's okay to be mad.
No, I'm.
Speaker 1 Let me do the saber metrics here. Okay.
Speaker 1 On, hang on on your twitter account yeah so you averaged one tweet per like three minutes that's of the show if you're gonna do sabermetrics do it correctly you were pretty mad do it correctly it's okay it's okay to admit that you were emotionally invested in this in the series but i wasn't the same way i was more like i wanted an ending that wasn't cheesy that's all i did like how they brought out the book and they're like what's this book called oh it's the book
Speaker 1 george r martin is samuel tarley like the whole thing was cheesy as fuck and then they're sitting around like
Speaker 1 like the ending of Seinfeld sitting in the jail. You know what? Where they're all sitting around the table in King's Landing, like, ah, well, we got to get more wheat for the winter.
Speaker 1
All right, you're on that brand. Oh, okay.
Well,
Speaker 1 someone's got to figure out a new fucking shitter because that one blew up with the dragon fire.
Speaker 1 It turned into them playing Sim City around the table at the end.
Speaker 1
You're like, okay, we got to build the electric power plant, but make sure that it's not too close to the residential neighborhoods. Our roads are kind of fucked up.
Anyone want to do some paving?
Speaker 1
Where's the dragon? Oh, Oh, it's not here. Okay, good.
Move it. Anyone seen it? Oh, yeah, we saw it flying east.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Okay, okay, cool. That's it.
But shout out to Ghost. Got his boop.
Speaker 1
Jon Snow gave him a little snuggle wuggle. And the dog was a very good wolf.
13 out of 10.
Speaker 4 There's rumors that they called, or it's a fact that they called Kid Harrington back to LA to meet with HBO. There's a chance they had to redo that scene because people were so mad.
Speaker 1 Really? About Ghost. No.
Speaker 1 You think so?
Speaker 4 I think he was supposed to host a charity event and he had to cancel at at the last minute to go to L.A. to meet with ATC.
Speaker 1
Do more CGI? Yeah. To CGI.
And they also had to edit out the Puppuccino that was next to him in that final scene.
Speaker 1 So, Hank, were you like...
Speaker 1 Hank, you were invested.
Speaker 1 This consumed every time. I mean, I said it on Friday show.
Speaker 4
Like, I kind of gave up after the third episode when I realized that all the shit I was invested to just wasn't going to happen. Like, I liked the lore shit.
I liked the prophecy shit.
Speaker 4
I liked the Jon Snow storyline. They basically didn't do any of that this whole season.
So I wasn't really like... It's not like I was going into it super excited and I was let down.
Speaker 4 I was going into it pretty let down and it was just like funny how bad the last episode was.
Speaker 1
The fire and ice thing when he pulled that out, I was like, you got to be kidding me. That was great.
I love that. They killed
Speaker 1 better if just fucking aliens had come down to earth and just destroyed everybody.
Speaker 4 When they just killed Daenerys, and it was like, that's like basically what the whole show was building up to. Like Jon Snow, Daenerys, main characters for the entire seven, eight seasons.
Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Wait in the council.
Speaker 4 Killed her, and they just cut to the council right after that.
Speaker 4 There was no aftermath of like what happened. Like John Snow, the dragon flew away with Daenerys.
Speaker 4 Jon Snow, how do you even tell people like, hey, guys, I killed Daenerys, but no one knows where she is.
Speaker 1 Like the dragon flew away. And people just believe him.
Speaker 4 And then if they took him prisoner, they would have killed him. Like if Jon Snow told Grey Worm that he killed Daenerys, Grey Worm would have killed him.
Speaker 4 They didn't show anything.
Speaker 1
He's got no dick. He's got nothing else to live for.
He literally has no other joy besides killing people.
Speaker 4
And he was saying the whole thing. He's like, I'll kill the Lannisters because Danny told me to.
So it's like, if you kill Danny, you're going to die.
Speaker 4 But they just cut to the trial, which was like five months later.
Speaker 4 Titty boy, uh, oh, yeah, that was
Speaker 4 Robin Aaron. Yeah, he was funny.
Speaker 1 Edmir Tully growing up from that titty milk. The dude from the Red Wedding basically was sucking on his mom's tits when he was like 10 years old.
Speaker 1 Wait, wasn't that the dude that was the big guy that was like sucking down that flagon? No, no, no, that's Torman drinking bread.
Speaker 1
That's different titty milk. Yeah, he didn't drink giants titty milk.
He just drank his weird mom's titty milk going on. Yeah.
Speaker 4 Edmir Tully standing up and trying to go for King, and Sansa's being like, sit the fuck down.
Speaker 1 Yeah. How about the dragon?
Speaker 1
How about this? The symbolism of the dragon turning its fire onto the throne. Yeah.
Because that's what really kills him. It's so cheesy.
Speaker 1 That's sweet.
Speaker 1
This throne ripped us all apart. I must destroy it.
Dragon Fuel melts iron thrones. I did feel bad about the dragon.
Like, the dragon was pretty sad when he saw Danny die. That made me feel.
Speaker 1
That got me a little in the heart. What does it say about us that we relate most heavily to the animals when they're in pain? We're sociopaths.
Sociopaths. Yeah.
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 Oh, sociopaths skin cats when they're like 10 years old.
Speaker 1
So they would not, they would be happy when the animals are in pain. So we're actually the world's first anti-sociopathic.
Yeah, yeah, I think we're just maladjusted adults.
Speaker 1 We're very poorly in touch with our feelings as human beings. We just push other humans away because we're afraid of
Speaker 1 the closeness that it could bring. Got it.
Speaker 4 The other thing that's so dumb, and that's what I gave up on, like, the getting upset about it because it's like the fact that they had the war council meeting in episode four,
Speaker 4 and then John talks to Arya in this episode and was like, what are you doing here? She's like, oh, I came to kill Cersei.
Speaker 4 It's like, why didn't you just tell them you're going to kill Cersei when they were like planning for a war?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 4 They should have just let her go kill Cersei.
Speaker 1
Hey, I got a question about. John was like, oh, what are you doing here, Arya? Oh, I was going to kill Cersei, but I got caught up.
Dumb question.
Speaker 1 Do they have sports in Werse?
Speaker 1 Do they have sports in Wisteros? Yeah, it was
Speaker 1
like the sword fighting. Like gladiator shit.
Okay, that's kind of cool, but no, like ball games. No.
Speaker 1
Ball games with swords and jousting. Okay.
Yeah, that shit. They could just throw somebody's head at a sword.
Speaker 1
No, it's true. It's actually a good point.
Like, this is what happens when you have a culture with no sports. No football, people just start dying with dragonfire.
Right.
Speaker 1 In ancient Roman times, it's called the bread and circus. As long as the people have their bread to eat and their circus to watch, they're never going to overthrow the king.
Speaker 1 So maybe Bran will instill
Speaker 1
murder ball. This was actually Roger Goodell's master plan.
He just was like, let's make a show and at the end it'll be like we need football football
Speaker 1 needs football ray lewis will tell you when there's football games on dragons will not know their dragons will never nuke a city with their breath yes if there's a full slate of nfl games yes would you rather have a john torman ghost spin-off or a aria in uh aria i'm done with jon snow he's such a pussy like honestly yeah you're the true king dude right just say it just be like hey guess what this is my throne yeah i i own this dragon yes like the dragon's mine i'm fucking targary in blood but you you did take the most losses like all your everything yeah
Speaker 1 you took losses it's a tough knife you took a lot of losses because actually the only the only person who ended up winning was not a stark
Speaker 1 because like brand he's remember he's like i'm a three eye i'm a fucking three eye raven i'm not a stark i'm above that shit he became a fucking he's like a furry he's like a precursor to furries also it's kind of kind of like tyrann was a prisoner and and they're like tyrann who do you who do you think should be king yeah like let's just listen to him and then he just roasted brand he's like brand and the broken like that's kind of up brandon the broken is so funny they all stand and he can't it's like jesus christ guys maybe a little bit something maybe it also
Speaker 1 there are a lot of steps in king's landing ada approval really bad like they're gonna they're gonna get fined well they can they gotta rebuild it the city's gonna find them for all the lack of restaurants they're gonna make like an elon muck musk hyper loop with just uh catapults just Just
Speaker 1
throwing brand from city to city. Yeah, people are mad.
That's it. Into a giant net.
That'd actually be a pretty sweet way to travel. It would.
Speaker 1 Just load yourself into a tradwiger and fire yourself into a giant net.
Speaker 4 It'll be amazing that people, people, I think book readers are trying to just speak this new existence, but they think that George Martin finished the books and has been waiting for the show to end and he's just going to drop the books.
Speaker 1
This is the problem with the internet. We get too into it and start doing these theories and none of them turn out to be right.
I mean, he's got to finish the books eventually.
Speaker 1
He should stick to this book. No, he doesn't.
He's got good sports takes. Yeah, he does.
And he wears those stupid hats. Like, he wants to be a train conductor or something.
Speaker 1
All right. Yeah, it looks like a train conductor in a dropkick Murphy's music video.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Love you guys. It's team time.
Group Week 19. Love you guys.
Speaker 1 I don't know what
Speaker 1 I'm to say. I'll say it anyway.
Speaker 1 Today's another day. To find you dying away,
Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love, okay.
Speaker 1 Take
Speaker 1 care,
Speaker 1 take
Speaker 1 me
Speaker 1 weaker
Speaker 1 in Jesus'
Speaker 1 army.