Patrick Mahomes, Anthony Sherman, GoT Finale, and Brooks Koepka Calls In

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have reigning MVP, Patrick Mahomes, the start of Grit Week. And his fullback.
And his fullback, Anthony Sherman. We have PFT doing the Patrick Mahomes to Patrick Mahomes, which is an all-time Pardon My Take moment.
We're in L.A.

We have BrooksFT doing the Patrick Mahomes to Patrick Mahomes, which is an all-time part of my take moment. We're in LA.
We have Brooks Koepka, who is in the running, I think, now for Blake of the Year, winning the PGA Championship. We have Who's Back of the Week and Game of Thrones.
People are very mad, and we're going to talk about Game of Thrones at the end. No spoilers until that.
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for email and whether whatever in Ariat Work Gear. Okay, let's go.
Outro Music And then we'll take it higher We're gonna run to It's part of my take Let's take it higher Welcome to Part of My Take Presented by the Cash App Put in promo code BARSTOOL And you get $5 and $5 for ASPCA Helping Animals Today is Monday, May 20th, Grit Week 2019. Pretty psyched to be out here.
We're in LA. We're in SoCal.
We're in SoCal. To be exact, we're in Jared Goff's guest house.
It's pretty sweet. We're taping this after all the stuff happened.
All the Game of Thrones is still light out, which is insane. It is bizarre watching Game of Thrones and NBA playoff games when it's still light outside yes yes so we're here in socal we rented a van it is a death trap i don't know if you guys realize like i picked you guys up from the airport that van is scary to drive it is loose it is bad i love shitty vans more than anything and and the volkswagen van is possibly the shittiest of them all it is a rolling trap.
There's nothing that separates Big Cat and I from the highway except for like one thin sheet of metal. It's exhilarating.
And when I went and rented it, they gave me like a 45-minute tutorial on it, and I listened to zero of it. I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool.
Except for the end when she's like, so if the check engine light comes on, you have to pull over immediately. I was like, how often she's like well it's an old van okay cool sweet so we're gonna die this might be the last episode you ever hear what am i fit well how would you get it out before we drive back to where we're staying just a heads up that's not possible what do you mean yeah no upload so maybe it'll be like the black box on an airplane someone just take the the files and put it up for us.
Here's what we'll do. We'll get a bunch of bubble wrap and just wrap the tape.
We put this on a tape, right? Yeah, yeah. We'll wrap the tape up in that.
So if we get into an accident. Please post on iTunes if you find our burning carcasses in this death trap.
Distribute the mixtapes. Keep the tapes blown.
This isn't going to be funny if we die. No, it's not at all.
All right, but that's Grit Week. But we are in California.
Grit Week. And I'm here.
It's not as sunny or as warm as I was promised. We've only eaten In-N-Out once, which is a real shocker.
The over-under for... I'm going to say the number of patties of In-N-Out that Hank eats this week, I'm putting at 12.5.
Yes. This is going to be a lot of In-N-Out.
A lot of meat going in that mouth. A lot of weed smoked, a lot of In-N-Out eaten.
So here's what we have planned for Grit Week. We have a ton of interviews.
We're also going to do some interviews that we're going to have for later on in the summer because I'm with Child. But we have...
You're with Child? I am with Child. I could tell.
There's been some bad visuals recently. I actually was planning on getting in shape before Cali because I was like, when I see the Cali team, we saw a couple at the In-N-Out.
And PFT was like, you see those guys? And it was this kid with bleach blonde hair and a surfboard sweatshirt. Yeah, he looked like he was like, fuck this.
We were inland, too. Yeah, he looked like if Logan Paul was a vegan.
So it was like a double threat of Cali teams. They're moving inland.
And so we're not safe anywhere. We go to Sacramento, we wouldn't be safe.
But round is a shape. Yes, round is a shape.
So I'm fine. I'm in shape.
So we're going to do a bunch of interviews. We're going to be around with a bunch of people.
We might be working out with Dan Bilzerian tomorrow. That should be interesting.
I don't. I think we're just going to roast them.
Yeah. That's basically the plan.
Yeah. Pretty much.
I think we're going to his house. See his turtles.
So we have a ton. But we have some real gritty people as well.
I actually have a book to pick with him about Cardi B. Yeah.
He came at our queen. Yes, he did.
So we're going to have to defend her honor tomorrow. Coach McVay, some A-listers, big-time grit week planned, and we're going to be doing it in a death trap.
So it's going to be a lot of fun. Also, some personal news.
I've decided to quit jeweling this week. So jeweling was becoming a real problem for me.
I would roll over. I'd hit that thing sometimes before I I get out of bed.
It was an issue.

It was a distraction.

And I'm going cold turkey this week.

So you got into the van and you're like, hey, guess what?

I quit juuling.

And I was like, okay.

But you did it on a week when we basically are going to work nonstop.

Yeah.

And we're going to be in socially acceptable environments to juul at all times.

Yeah.

Like that van was built to juul in. Yeah.
And you're like, yeah, I'm going to do it on the hardest week possible. Dude, it's me versus the pod right now.
This is like when I'm staring it down. I can handle it.
I actually, I brought the Juul with me. I thought about leaving it at home.
That way I wouldn't be tempted. Yeah.
I was like, you know what? I might as well toss it. That way I can stare it down.
Right. This is like when I remember, remember like a couple of years ago.
I've got more energy already. I tried to start a diet week one of the NFL season.
That was dumb. What are you doing? That was dumb as shit.
Yeah. So that's what you're doing right now.
Yeah. I'm jewel-less.
Yeah. It's been.
Well, we might have Julian Edelman on the show. And you brought it just in case, though.
I got to do it. I got to do it.
If we have Julian Edelman on the show. It's been 20 hours since my last jewel.
So I'm going strong. I'm telling you, I feel more energetic.

My impotence isn't a factor anymore.

I've gotten like you've got a rock hard.

I've gotten three random boners.

Yeah, that's actually just probably because the steering on the van is still loose.

It's just vibrating all the time.

I feel good, though.

We're in we're in Cali.

We'll try to figure out some time this week where we can maybe meet some people, figure out a bar we can go to. We also if you are listening to this and you want to watch all of our interviews for grit week barstool gold barstoolgold.com slash pmt go download it right now you can watch every single episode uh you and the mooch can be the the only award-winning watchers out there uh so we need to start that was kind of like the preamble we need to start the show with the question are we king makers i think definitely we are because brooks kepka just dominated the pga championship maybe a little hairy at the end and we'll forget the fact that he's won four out of the last seven and this was actually just more of like uh it's the year of the brooks since last year it's the brooks slam let's just talk about a pga championship and a PGA Championship and a U.S.
Open... And part of my take...
In back-to-back years, and part of my take, it's called the Koepka Slam. Yeah, but we'll take credit for it.
This is actually the perfect... We do this very well, where something is going well, or someone's doing well, and then we interview them, and everyone's like, hey, credit to you guys.
We're like, hey, you know what? We'll take credit. That's fine.
Tommy Lasorda is still alive after we interviewed him so i'm absolutely taking credit for that we spoke to death and old tommy's lungs moving we got to try to find time uh how about at the very start of the tournament today when brooks his girlfriend was like give me a little smoochy smooch and he was like no that's man card shit you get kissing girls you get your man card taken for less than that on the golf course well he was like i'm about to win like two win like $2 million. Like, I want to keep my options open here.
My theory is that he just, he wanted the visual of her staring at him. Yes.
Like she stared at Tiger at the Masters. He wanted that visual out there to put on a shirt.
Credit to Jenna Sims, Brooke's girlfriend, for walking it off very nicely. Yes.
Like she knew that was the wrong time to ask for a kiss. And she kind of just like picked up the pace a little bit and played it off like a real pro.
What's the Mount Rushmore of places to not ask for a kiss? I would say... On the shitter.
With the boy. When you're with the boys.
Yeah, when you're hanging with the boys. Yeah, hanging with the boys, about to win a major tournament, but you haven't teed off yet.
In front of Manny Pacquiao, who we might interview this week. Yeah.
Don't do that. we we can kiss yeah well no I don't think in front of him I think we have to I don't think he's I think I think it'd be homophobic of us not to make out in front of Pacquiao what are the other places um oh kissing the bride when you're not the groom yeah that could be bad that's what if you're Italian you kind of have to that's true it's kiss.
Yeah. All good things.
Any for you? In the throne room after you just burnt down. Wait.
No spoilers. No spoilers.
We're going to get to the spoilers at the end. But yes, that's actually a really bad place.
I would also say inside the parameters of a Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah.
That's guy's own. Unless asked to maybe like, hey, can you get some of this Buffalo Wild Wings sauce off my lips?

Unless she's wearing a referee jersey and has eye black on.

Unless she just put the game into quadruple overtime.

Then it's like, let's go.

We're tongue wrestling.

Let's do it.

Tatsu hockey.

So Brooks is the man.

I don't really know what else to say.

He's absolutely the man.

And people are saying he's a front runner because he only cheers for the Packers

and the Yankees and the Lakers. They stink.
And he only wins in tournaments that has the strongest field. So, yeah, I guess he's a front runner.
But I guess being a front runner in golf is a good thing. Yeah.
And by the way, shout out, special shout out to our boy, John Daly. Brandy.
Brandy Chamby. Brandy Chamby.
Just trying to fight his way through it. Trying to tweet his way through the fact that his way through.
He roasted the shit out of you. I roasted him back.
Yeah, the part of my Take Twitter account didn't retweet my response to him. Blixby Chambliss is probably the worst golf announcer or analyzer of all time.
Your name fucking sucks. Your name sucks.
I know you didn't give it to yourself, but it sucks. But you could have changed it.
Could have changed it. You to change it yes and you haven't yet bardle b shrift for leaves yeah whatever the hell your name is uh brandle you were wrong brandle brandle doesn't matter just think about that and you know what's up i'm brandle when somebody's wrong what a fucking douche and the only way that they show penance for it is by repeatedly saying, fine, stop telling me I was wrong.

I'm wrong.

I wasn't technically wrong.

I actually want him to dig in and double down on his Brooks Koepka hate now.

Yes.

And say that, see, I told you these last two days.

He's just average.

He's not that good.

Forget when he set a major championship record in the first two rounds.

Yeah.

Not to go all Todd Haley on it, but could you imagine looking at a baby and being like that's brandle this is bricks blue that's brandle right there we shall name him brandle um all right we have nba playoffs uh if you missed any of the games this week i got a quick update from our guy magic with steph curry's 36 points draymond green's 2013 12 triple double andlay Thompson's incredible defense. The Warriors' three superstars led them to another win in this series.
The Warriors' three superstars. Three superstars.
No exclamation points. So I think Magic is in trouble.
This was a cry for help. But yes, the question now is, are the Warriors better without Kevin Durant? I think what you're seeing is they're more fun to watch without Kevin Durant.
They play a more interesting brand of basketball. Steph Curry is allowed to be Steph Curry.
Everyone's got to take a step back when Kevin Durant's there. Interesting.
Everybody gets to be themselves when Kevin Durant's not around. Draymond is more Draymond than he is normally.
Kevon Looney is awesome. He's very Looney.
And Clay's Clay. Clay.
Klay's just Klay. By the way, Klay, everyone's like, what's happened to Damian Lillard? Which, by the way, I think they said that he has a separated rib, so he's like one rib away from being able to suck his own dick like Marilyn Manson.
But Klay Thompson is so good on defense. Yeah, you know who else had a separated rib was Eve.
Oh, yeah, that's true. Or she was a separated rib.
But Draymond and Klay defensively. Like, that's what the Warriors, everyone talks about the Warriors' offense because their offense is unreal.
But when they're like, hey, we're just going to fuck you up on defense, they did it again in game three where they were down like 10. Like, yeah, okay, now we're going to start playing and you have no chance.
It was demoralizing. As a longtime Blazers fan, as a CJ McCollum Stan.
Stan. And let me just say, the way that he met Jennifer from I'm Trying Jennifer, Colin Coward could learn a lot about how to deal with people from Jennifer.
It's true. Because she was gracious in defeat when she sat down with him before the game.
But she's a Warriors fan. Yeah, but she was like, I'm sorry.
She knew she had the upper hand. It's really easy to be gracious about everything if you're a Warriors fan.
That's true. But yeah, it was cool seeing CJ greet her and turn the page on that.
But there's nothing that the Blazers can do right now. No.
It's over. And you know what? I'm trying to get myself to a place where I'm saying it's going to be an interesting finals between the Bucs and the Warriors.
I don't think it is. No, it is.
Alright, so I went to Game 2 on Friday night in Milwaukee. First of all, that stadium is awesome.
I also got sat... I was sitting next to a guy who was like probably 280 going Giannis Jersey no undershirt love it tough uh but Giannis is like he's such an insane freak and when you watch him in person you're like it's even to a different level I think the I think the Bucks will absolutely give them a good and they have home court so people forget that they do and they played terrible against the Raptors game three and and they still went to double overtime.
And they needed the refs to just ignore a double dribble from Kawhi for the Raptors to win that game. So is that game being played under protest by the Bucs? It was a double dribble, but it was also with like three minutes left in the game.
Yeah, but still. And they ended up losing by what? Butterfly of 60.
Ever heard of it? Oh, yeah. That's like when somebody farts in Tiananmen Square.
Somebody gets run over by a tank because they farts. Yeah.
I do think it's going to be a good finals. I don't know.
I hope that you're right for my own sake. For all of us.
As a fan of good sports over bad sports, I hope you're right. But I'm just kind of thinking that I'm going to be very disappointed with it.
I guess in hockey, I mean, the Sharks just laid a fucking dud in San Jose. So I think it's going to be Blues Bruins.
Yeah. Are you ready for it? I'm excited.
There's a lot of St. Louis guys in the office.
I'm very excited. Yeah.
It's going to be war. Bruins Hank.
Hank, do you think if the Bruins win a Stanley Cup, there's going be a baby That's going to be born In the next three months Name something stupid Like Sale Gronk Tucker Sale Gronk Tucker McGillicuddy Probably not Tucker Tucker Tucker would be a strong name though Tucker Tucker Tucker Yeah we just name him Tucker And then Tucker. That's true.
Yeah, my kid Tucker. He's a real shithead.
By the way, by the way. Nobody likes him because he's a winner.
I forgot to mention the Giannis stuff. Did you guys see the new This League going around, the Jason kid? The reason why the Lakers want him as assistant coach is because he will get Giannis as a free agent.
Oh, there you go. Just planning two years ahead.
I like that. Yeah, so the coach that fucked up Giannis' game the most is going to lure him out.
He did, yeah. He freaked out.
Hey, don't fire him. Yeah, he freaked out at the last second.
But yeah, that's interesting. Yeah.
I'm not buying it. I'm putting my mark right now.
Giannis is not going to be a Lakers. It does suck if you're like a small market team.
You even want to be in Space Jam. Yeah, that's true.
But it sucks when you're a small market team and every move that like a big market team, they're like, well, it's just that they're going to steal your player in two years, obviously. It's very Yankee-esque.
Oh, the best part about basketball. Oh, that's a future Yankee.
Yeah, the best part about basketball is thinking about what's going to happen in the future of basketball, not actually watching the games that are going on. Yeah, that's this league.
We'd rather talk about the upcoming free agency than watch the actual last four teams that are playing. Yep, yep.
I agree with that. This league.
All right, should we do who's back of the week? Let's do it. Hank, why don't you go first? Yeah, why don't you start? You guys should go first.
Yeah, you go. You go.
Hank, by the way, almost cried tonight on Game of Thrones. We'll get to that later.
That's not true. Okay the video who's back showing emotions in front of the fellas hate crying at tv shows my back the week is boxing oh okay big boxing match this weekend uh deontay wilder who before the fight said that boxing is the only sport where you can kill a man and get paid for it at the same time.
So why not use my right to do so? Which was pretty intimidating words before a fight.

And then he went out and knocked the dude out in the first 10 seconds.

Yeah, I don't know if that's factually accurate, though.

I've seen some Steelers-Bengals games.

You can kill somebody and still get paid for it.

Yes.

In football?

Fontes Burford.

They don't take away your paycheck if the other guy happens to die. That knockout was insane.
It was crazy. Yeah.
His ear looked like it almost fell off. Yeah.
He got hit on his left ear and his right ear took so much of the force through his head. They looked like it was going to fly away like a butterfly.
And that still is like boxing for all the things that have happened with boxing and like all the belts and everything getting confusing and UFC and the the referees fucking things up and ufc kind of like eating into it there's still something about boxing like in terms of all-time sports moments you know you talk about walk-off home run or like a buzzer beater just obliterating a dude with a knockout the sweet side that is that is like on the mount rushmore of sports moments because you just can't say anything about it. Is Bert Sugar still alive?

Is he around?

No.

You know who died?

Letterman just died.

Who?

Who said?

Howard Letterman.

Oh.

Dude, you can't say Letterman just died and then follow it up with Howie Letterman.

Well, no.

You should have listened to my pronunciation.

I clearly used a D there.

Okay.

Letterman just died.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

But Sugar, is he around?

RIP.

RIP.

I think so. Okay.
I can just imagine him watching that knockout and the cigar just like falls out of his mouth howard letterman by the way like classic he like it was very much a joe puss situation where the hbo got rid of boxing and he was like all right that's it for me that's enough for how he that's he was a legend of the ride off into the sunset uh another one? Wait, which belt did he get? The IBF, UBF, and the Ruffin Rowdy belt. How many belts? We're going to make boxing bring all the belts together.
They can't acknowledge a heavyweight champion until they acknowledge Ruffin Rowdy belt. The unified champion? Yeah, if they want to unify the belts, they have to fight that super racist dude that knocks everyone out in West Virginia.
I would love to see Deontay Wilder fight that guy. Yeah, while he was wearing...
What was his name? Travis... Travis Terman.
Travis Terman while he's wearing jeans and cowboy boots. Beast.
No, that's it. That's it.
Who's back? Okay. Yeah, I mean, you guys took my...
All right, my who's back of the week is the Jets. Yeah.
So the Jets are back in a big way. Adam Gase has taken over, established prima nocta after taking out McKagan.

McKagan.

And whoever else, you know, forcing trades, doing all this shit.

One other high-level evaluator with a different team said that this is the biggest mistake anyone in the NFL has made in years.

Gase is crazy.

He is the most paranoid person in the world. This will be like Todd Haley on crack.
Whoa. And I, for one.
This was anonymous? Anonymous source. So this was clearly.
Definitely true. It was a GM who's scared this will happen to themselves.
You know what? So, like, we can't let these coaches start running the league. Okay.
This is crazy. Two things.
One, it was either Adam Gase that said this because he's so paranoid that he has to impersonate other GMs. Or it was Todd Haley that planted this out just so that all of a sudden Todd Haley is looking pretty fucking reasonable right now as opposed to Todd Haley on crack.
Actually, Todd Haley was probably coked up and said he's like he's Todd Haley on crack. Or haley on crack or third option dave gettleman being like let's get let's get this narrative going that there's a team that's more of a clusterfuck than mine in new york city yeah let's just let's remind mike francesa who the real clusterfuck this town is yeah because they've been talking about me too much the last couple days and then the levy on bell stuff and then levy on bell stuff so levy on doesn't think that he's wanted in town they well though there's a real debate like should they trade levy on bell turn it back to the stealers well because the idea it's actually one of those hilarious things that gets thrown out there in the sports media ecosystem and then when you look at it you're like actually it kind of makes sense because they already paid him 12 million dollars yeah so the team that they gets gets levy on bell doesn't have to pay him as much So people.
So the team that they gets gets Le'Veon Bell

doesn't have to pay him as much. So people are like

the Jets could trade Le'Veon Bell for

a first rounder. That would be that's a real

conversation. Send him back to the Steelers.
Yeah.

So fucking funny. I would I'm

absolutely here for that. And Antonio Brown's gonna

get traded because he doesn't like David Carr. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's fun to look forward to.

My other who's back in the week

is Ted Ginn. He's back.
Yes. He's challenging people to races.
Yes. He says, if anybody out there can beat me in, what's it, a 100-yard dash, I'll pay you $10,000.
So Ted Ginn, that's really the only thing he's known for is still just being like. Well, no, dropping footballs.
And running for the nearest out-of-bounds line whenever he catches a football. Right.
He's already on the hot seat, though. Why? The kid that broke the high school track record challenged him.
Oh, shit. Okay.
And Ted Ginn hasn't responded. Oh, damn.
So Ted Ginn is back in the way? He's back, but now he's back on the hot seat. This is actually genius by Ted Ginn, though.
He's back, now he's on the hot seat. He's just reminding everybody that he's fast.
Right, because you can't be like, I'll challenge anyone to a jugs test. Right.
See who can catch a ball. I would love to see him and Mike Wallace compete in just a race, but have it be a 400-yard race, and see if they're able to actually make the turns around the corners.
Yes. They're allergic to turning to the side.
DK Metcalf is in the league now. That's the only thing he can do is run in a straight line.
Also, the little white guy that plays in Arizona. Yes.
That played at UMass. Fuck.
Stat department. Who did he go? Our UMass grad, Bubba, just threw it out.
Andy Isabella. Close to grad.
He's a beauty. PMT stole his degree.
Oh, shit. What? You know who? College dropouts running this show.
carlin isles pft carlin isles uh of u.s rugby fame he also responded said race me i'll double it well yeah carlin i was a beat the shit out of ten we should just challenge it yeah so ted so okay like doing it well i'll challenge him he's not gonna do it yeah so i challenge you are you allowed to ride like a motorcycle in this race i'll i'll drive our, our van would not get up to speed. It's like man versus beast.
He would absolutely beat our van. All right.
My who's back. I got two.
Kyler Murray's height. So there was the rookie symposium, and they all got into formation for a picture.
He stood next to Hollywood Brown, who is 5'9", and Kyler Murray is clearly shorter than him. So as a short man, PFT, what do you say? Kyle, I'm not going to address the speculation that I'm sure we've established my height is fine.
Okay. But as someone who can speak to taking pictures where they look very short, what do you say to this? You sound very ugly right now.
No, I'm just saying what what do we say to this has it never happened you are an expert like this is a perfect expert listen i it has i may be shorter but i'm looking it has happened but i'm turning my nose up at this type of language that you're throwing at me saying like we have an ex relatable here's the thing like it needs no just happened it's what we're talking honestly it's like when the edwarder's standing outside of the mississippi airport with breath's a Brett Favre expert. You're our height expert.
Okay, we now go live. To the PFT who's standing outside Brett Favre's house.
Yeah. Okay, the knees are very tricky joints.
Because a lot of times when you're getting your picture taken, if you're not standing lock leg with totally released hips, to borrow a term term from golf with your ankles at the exact correct angle too yeah or even just a little bit of a slouch in the waist maybe it was taking it at night when you're a little shorter the problem is yeah you're that's actually very true you are at maximum height first thing in the morning um i think that there's a lot of things that could be an explanation for this i myself am a kyler murray 5 11 truther i don't believe that he's 5 10 and 7 8 or whatever you think he's a 5 11 i think he had a little bit of clay on his heel you remember that that rumor going around yeah that he had a prosthetic on his heel i actually do think that he's short i think he's shorter than i am whoa he's like 5 6 he's like 5 6 5 7 5 8 5 8 and a half 5 8 and three75", 5'8.5". He's any one of those numbers.
I think he's shorter than me, but I will say, all the different joints in your body that can bend and change direction, it's very possible for him to be 5'10 and come into this picture looking like he's 5'8". It does happen.
I've taken short pictures before. Yeah, right.
I've also taken tall pictures. As a short man, do you think that Kyler Murray is kind of being a little bit of a fraud here, not owning up to his height? Yeah.
As a short man who's never lied, I should have said that about your height. I think it's disgusting that he's running away from his true height.
Right. It's his height.
You can't change your... Well, you probably can't.
You can actually, in China, I think you can break all your bones and your body. And they elongate you.
No, what they do is they break your shins. Yeah, they elongate you.
You're in a cast for like a year, and then you get like two inches of height. Yeah, well, it can be up to four.
I've looked into the surgery. It kind of makes you look like a pussy that you're just using those weird shoes when you could break your shins and dunk.
Oh, no, I don't think that that would work because it probably makes you less – like your jumping ability strength. Yeah, you probably just break your legs every time you jump.
Yeah, exactly. It just makes them some i need to drink a lot of milk it's a walking surgery so i'm i'm going to be able to dunk uh without the surgery but i have looked into it and you can get like four inches uh but then you just end up just walking around like a freak with the longest shin bones of all time right and your whole body's not proportional right who would want that so yeah To answer your question, I do think that Kyler Murray is running away from his true self.

I think that he's like 5'8".

Okay.

Maybe 5'9".

Also, the headband was too big.

Yeah.

Just nitpicking.

Yeah.

It was bad.

I've got a name for him, but I don't think it's appropriate, so I'm not going to say it.

Say it.

No, I'm not going to say it.

Say it.

No.

Now you have to say it.

I'm not going to say it.

Say it.

No.

Come on.

It's problematic, so I'm withholding the take. Say it.
We'll bleep it. Put your mic away.
Say it. We'll to say it.
I'm not going to say it. Say it.
No. Come on.
It's problematic, so I'm withholding the take. Say it will bleep it.
Put your mic away. Say it will bleep it.
The take will be on- Write it down. Write it down, and I'll say it.
All right. You're not going to say it.
Someone, this is a name that I'm just inventing right now, for somebody who is short but refuses- Oh, shit. I'm not saying it.
But refuses to acknowledge their true height. Yeah.
I'm definitely not saying that. Yeah.
All right. That one will be lost in the ages.
I'm not saying it. I'm not saying it.
Okay. Yeah, that was a good joke, BFD, but we're not saying it.
I'm actually going to cross it out just in case someone walks by and says it and reads it. Okay.
So my other who's back of the week was the Mannings. So Arch Manning, way to really be fucking creative with your names there, Mannings.
Arch Manning, who is Cooper Manning's son, is apparently a stud. He's a freshman, no, eighth grader, and he played in a senior practice and threw three touchdowns.
That's got to be a nickname, right? We're going to have Mannings forever. We're never getting rid of the Mannings.
It was a stroke of genius by Cooper to name his kid Arch because he was sick of Eli and Peyton getting all the shine from Archie. And so he's like, you know what? I'm really going to suck up to him.
My son is just being it's going to be named exactly what my dad's. He'll hold he'll hold the Giants front office hostage for 25 years.
Yeah. Have Arch Manning be the star.
Dave Gettleman is so excited to see this kid play, and he's like 6'3 already. John Elway and Dave Gettleman are going to get into a sword fight to the death for the rights to draft this kid.
You ready for a woe? We're all going to die. We're going to die before Mannings are out of the NFL.
There are going to be Mannings in the NFL till the day we die. They're just never, they're going to outlast us as human beings.
The Manning family as quarterbacks are going to live longer than all. Well, we might die after the show, but you know what I mean? How many years until he's in the pros? Probably what? Like he's, I think he's like 13, 14.
So he'll be there in like seven years. Yeah.
Right. When Eli's right, when I'm getting ready to die.
Yeah. right when Eli's ending his career.
I'll pass the torch. What do you think? And then fucking Peyton has kids too.
They'll be wizards. What do you think the college search process is like for a man and kid? I guarantee they're acting like real dickhards about it.
Yeah, and then Ole Miss. Ole Miss, and they'll probably take a visit to LSU but have no intention to go in there right because that like that would be weird to have a quarterback there yeah they don't they don't do that we don't do that um okay let's get to our interview reigning MVP Patrick Mahomes and his fullback Anthony Sherman who's very funny guy as well we're gonna get right back to the show building a business may feel like a big jump butDeck small business loans can help keep you afloat.
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Okay, here he is, Patrick Mahomes and Anthony Sherman. Grit Week.
Okay, Grit Week, episode one for Grit Week, presented by Body Armor. We are here in Kansas City.
We're joined by Patrick Mahomes. He's the reigning NFL MVP.
And his fullback, Anthony Sherman, who's also known as Sausage with Hands. And let's start with this, guys.
Let's start with how we start every Grit Week interview. What is grit? How do you define grit?

Explain what grit is and where you can see it.

We'll start with the fullback because Patrick, no big deal.

He doesn't really have much grit.

I think the biggest thing is someone that just never gives up,

always continues to fight, might get knocked down three, four times, but always continues to continue to fight, fight, fight over and over again.

And someone that you want to take with you to a back alley and and do some damage okay i like that and you patrick for me it's kind of the same thing it's someone that can they make it happen it doesn't have to always be perfect uh they don't have to have the right circumstances there's someone that can uh find a way to make it happen no matter what the circumstance is okay okay that's a good answer i like that. I like that.
Now, that being said, I have a bone to pick with you, Mr. Sherman, because your performance in the Pro Bowl was kind of a look-at-me type deal where you were like, I'm going to try to win this Pro Bowl MVP award and kind of have a new trophy to put on my mantle.
Instead of, you know, you were demanding passes. Patrick was like, I guess I've got to throw him the ball again.
He was trying to steal the car. You know, they give out and I was trying to get it.
Pat didn't throw me any passes, actually. He said, I'm going to throw it downfield as far as I can every play.
You can get downfield. Well, I can a little bit, but he was out there.
The rain got to him a little bit. So your big touchdown this year, that was where the nickname Sausage with Hands came from.
Andy Reid gave it to you, right? Yes. Did he have that nickname before? I had Sausage for the last six years.
Okay. And then he decided to throw hands in there because I caught him at touchdown.
Okay. Andy strikes me as a guy that has, like, food nicknames ready to go for everybody.
So it's like, okay, Sausage, your patting mo. I remind him of a sausage.
Yeah. I could see that.
Sammy Watkins. Yeah.
The Honey Badger. He'd probably sign the Honey Badger.
He's a huge nickname guy for sure. What's yours for him? Or what is it? It's the voice.
The voice. That's a good one.
Why do they call you the voice? Interesting. I don't know.
I heard there was a good voice impersonation in this room. Some people in the media have taken shots at your voice.
I'm not going to name any names. But we'll certainly address that in a little bit.
Yeah, we can address that. Let's start, though, with this past season going into this – you know, the 2019 season.
You guys obviously had an unbelievable year. AFC Championship game, like one play away.
What do you feel like in the building in terms of expectations and what's going to happen next year? Like you guys feel like there's a little more pressure or do you feel like, hey, we got this. We were like, we were right there.
We got this. I think the biggest thing is there's not added pressure.
It's the pressure that we put on ourselves, and that's the Super Bowl. We know we were so close this last season, didn't find a way to win the game, but you have to find ways to win those big games and get to the Super Bowl.
I mean, that should be everyone's goal when they step into the facility every single day. Should we change overtime rules? I mean, it doesn't matter to me.
You've got to say it, though, because then we'll get headlines. Well, no, no, it does not matter to me at all.
Do you want a chance to have the ball in your hands at the end of the game? Were you pissed that you didn't get the ball? Yeah, I mean, if you don't get the ball, you're always upset. Yeah, because overtime rules suck.
But you know the rules before you go into that thing. But to make it fair, if you have two great quarterbacks like Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, then they should each get a shot to run the offense, right? You should just have a shot to win the football game no matter what the rules are.
Just follow the rules and get the win. Very diplomatic.
I don't know about that. That's a QB answer.
That's a real QB answer. What do you think, Sherm? I think the rules are there they are, and we knew that going in.
No, come on. It's one of those things where it's, you know, who knows what would happen if we did get the ball first.
It's one of those things where that was last year. Give me the damn ball.
Wow, Patrick. Oh, my God.
There you go. Okay, put that on a quote.
Yeah, change the rules. Change the rules.
Were you shocked, though, at all, Patrick, about how unbelievable your season was? Because it started and just started rolling, and it was 50 touchdowns. Essentially, you had the Ben Simmons rookie of the year kind of thing where, you know, you'd only played one game the year before.
Was there ever a moment you're like, shit, like this is crazy that I'm doing this right away?

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, the 50 touchdowns and 5,000 yards.

I mean, if any quarterback expects that going to the season and they tell you that, they're lying.

I mean, I knew we had a very good team with a lot of great players around me

that were going to make my job a lot easier.

I knew if I just followed what Coach Reed said,

that we had a chance to win a lot of football games.

But then as the season kind of went on, the touchdowns just started adding up. You don't even think about them, but you just see them.
And it was something that was surprising, but with the talent that we have around me, I knew that we had a chance to be a really good football team. A little bit of real talk.
You give a lot of credit to Alex Smith for kind of like showing you the ropes when he got into the league. And it kind of surprising because if you think of Alex Smith and Pat Mahomes they're two very different quarterbacks right they they play in different styles um approach the game I think in different ways but maybe not I was wondering like what was it specifically about Alex that made the transition from your college system big 12 guy came in with the whole you know big 12 quarterbacks can't play in the NFL.
What was it about Alex Smith that made that transition so much easier? I think just he knew how to tell me what mistakes that he made when he was young. I mean, he got thrown into a kind of really a bad situation when he first got into the NFL where they kind of threw him out there and he had to just try to make it happen and try to make it work.
And he knew those mistakes that young quarterbacks make. And by him just being the type of guy he was, I would do something in practice he'd be like hey man just try it this way it helped me out when I was that age and it helped me out when I was a young QB and so him just being like that and every aspect starting to talk about him he's like the best guy not necessarily not even the best kind of leader or football player but he's he's the best guy and I think that kind of rubbed off on me of just how to go about being a professional quarterback.
Was there ever a moment where you were frustrated and like, I really should be playing? Not a knock on Alex Smith, but you're, I mean, I think the media has heard stories about how, and Sherm, you can back this up or not, but the stories of you lighting up practice, even in your rookie year, and people being like, well, this guy's pretty damn good. And was there ever a moment where you're like, I love Alex Smith, but I should be playing? Not really, honestly.
I mean, what made it easier was that Alex went out and threw like 30-something touchdowns. You guys were good, yeah.
We were like the best team in the AFC West. We won the AFC West that year, and you're like, man, like he's doing his thing.
He's out there making plays. I mean, as a competitor, you want to play, but you're when the guy in front of you is going out there and making plays every single week, it kind of puts it in perspective of, hey, just keep doing your job.
And if they call upon you, be ready to go. So you obviously saw Patrick in practice and you're like, this guy can light it up.
Oh, absolutely. You know, as soon as he came in the building, you could tell there was something about his arm and the way he would throw the ball.
but at the same time coach reed set the standard and he knew we all knew the roles and who we have and who's in front of us it's one of those things we just go out there and compete and it time will take care of itself and we'll figure out you know who's going to be that guy next year when when everything's said and done yeah was it ever a little bit awkward when you step out on the field for the first time and you just you wing the ball 50 yards on a rope and you just look at Alex and he knows and you know? Yeah. And it's like, I'm sorry.
Whoops. I'm sorry, that's just what I do.
No, because he was diming at the first, like, all of training camp. The competition kind of drove each of us to step our games up even more.
And, I mean, he was out there throwing dimes. He had a better completion percentage.
He had more touchdowns. He had more, we rate our throws, more threes, which are like the best throws.
And so I didn't really have an argument. I mean, I out there throwing dimes he had a better completion percentage he had more touchdowns he had more we rate our throws more threes which are like the best throws and so I didn't really have an argument I mean I was just trying to go out there and make plays but he was really kind of taking over the during training camp yeah so there's a rumor out there that your dad played baseball is that true yes it is true I think y'all hear about it sometimes yeah does that piss you off like obviously it's out of your control but it's like part of what our podcast is and the jokes we make is the thing the narratives that the media runs with and it just gets so nauseating are you like i don't want to talk about my dad playing baseball anymore i've gotten completely used to it i mean that that starting now kind of a national nationwide type of thing but that's been going on my whole entire life right even when i was a little kid playing T-ball, everybody was saying, oh, yeah, his dad plays baseball.

That's the kid's dad plays baseball at every baseball tournament I would go to.

And so I've kind of grown up with that.

I mean, I honestly like it.

I mean, it shows that my dad went out there and had a great major league career,

and I try to follow in his footsteps and just be the best athlete

and the best person I can be.

Okay, so rate how I did bringing up that your dad played baseball.

It was kind of a different way. Yeah, it was definitely the first time I heard it yeah there we go i don't know so i did okay there like a six and a half how much how much did it actually help though like the baseball to the football because that's what's crazy is you'll make a throw and we're like well his dad did play baseball patrick played baseball it's like i think he's probably just a good football player i think it has nothing to do with baseball.
I think it helped more in the locker room and around the clubhouse or locker room. Interesting.
Because you get to see guys like your boy A-Rod and guys like Derek Jeter. That's his boss.
That's his boss. Yeah, my boss.
My boss. My boys.
Don't. My boys yet.
My boss. But you see those guys that they're in there at like 2 o'clock when they have a 7.30 game and they're just hitting off the tee.
And I'm like, my dad's making me mad, making me hit off the tee when I'm freaking 10 years old, and A-Rod's doing it for hours on hours. And you see that type of stuff, and you realize that you can't just get to the top and be satisfied.
You have to keep working on the little things. Did your dad ever text you when, like, when Vlad Jr.
came up and was like, this could have been us, but you disappointed me by being a quarterback.

Like, this was us.

No, I mean, I texted him because he was a football player himself,

so that could have been us if he was a football player. So now we've got to get that spin going.

We actually got to say, did you know that his dad played football?

Yes.

That's how you take control of the narrative right there.

That's good.

I want to bring up Andy Reid.

You mentioned him a second ago.

We love Andy Reid on the show.

Love him.

He's one of our absolute favorites. Have you ever seen him wear pants? No, never.
I think maybe – He has to on the game day. He has to when we have the little production thing.
Yeah, production. But he probably during games has shorts on underneath his pants.
Well, I know at practice it will be like 13 degrees, and he never lets us go inside. We always practice outside, and so he always has his shorts on.
He'll have his shorts and a jacket. How many times a week does he wear a Hawaiian shirt? Those are big occasions.
Okay. I wouldn't even say that.
I wouldn't say that. I would say in season whenever we have a road game.
Oh. Like for the trip.
Yeah. For the trip.
Yeah. If it's on a suit wine.
Back in the day, you got dressed up to travel. He's got a little bit of that left.
Time to put on the Tommy Bahama. We're getting on a Learjet.
That's amazing. I heard that his favorite snack that he has, it's bizarre, maybe you guys can confirm or deny this, involves wasabi peas and a seasonal drink.
Is that ringing any bells whatsoever? I have not heard that. No.
Word on the street is he goes around just sipping eggnog year-round. I think what happened to us, PFT, here is that we showed up to the Chiefs facility and every guest that shows up, they're like, what can we tell them that Andy Reid eats and have them believe it? Maybe.
I wanted it to be true so badly. Maybe people only see him around Christmas.
So what is his favorite snack? What is his go-to meal? I would say his go-to meal is a cheeseburger and then after a little ice cream. Okay.
Haagen-Dazs. It has to be Haagen-Dazs.
Every time? Yeah, Haagen-Dazs. Every time.
Okay. I have a scenario for you, Patrick.
Should we call you Pat or Patrick? What do you like better? It does not matter to me at all. Okay.
Call him whatever you want. Mr.
Mahomes. Here's a fun little scenario to walk you through.
At the end of the game, let's say you're up by four points, three minutes left. God forbid you tear your rotator cuff in your right arm.
Completely shot. Why'd you put that? Things hang – God forbid.
Things just hang in there by a string.

Real shame.

Could you win a game if it was third and eight, you have one first down to win it by throwing

a left-handed pass?

By design.

I could throw it about 25 yards left-handed, so I think I could do it.

Not very accurate.

What overhand.

Well, the thing is –

Let's get to that point.

We play this game on Saturdays and we go left-handed and it's not very good. Not very pretty.
Yeah, but when you have Kelsey, you just got to throw it around him. I guess that's right.
Yeah, but plot twist, he catches it and then he starts screaming at the defender after he gets tackled like he likes to do. 15-yard penalty.
I've got a plot twist. Now you have a 22-yard pass they have to make.
I've got a plot twist. He pitches it left-handed to someone that can throw.
Ooh. And then the ball gets completed that way.
Ooh. Are you that person? I mean, I could.
That's how Coach Reed wants to call it. Or third and 22, fullback screen.
Drop it off the screen. There you go.
He can get it. I love it.
He'll take him like 27 steps, but he'll get there. Probably more than that.
Do you want more carries this year? Because you had, I think, one last year for two yards, which is great for a fullback.

Like, sabermetrically, that's the sweet spot that you want to be in.

But would you like to get the ball shoved into your gut more?

No, not really.

I'd rather block, to be honest.

That's exactly what we need for grit week.

A couple of screen passes here and there.

But other than that, I'm ready to do the dirty work for him

and those guys that make plays.

So, Sherman, you went to the football powerhouse of UConn and i have to bring it up he wasn't your coach but i have to bring it up what were your thoughts on the civil conflict that right there yeah you put in the back did you do the bob diaco and and and lock it into a chest and throw it away no yeah i didn't even i don't want to bring it up again actually what up again, actually. What's the Civil Comfort? Oh, my God.
It's the greatest thing in UConn history. You think that you had some games, like a Texas Tech against Oklahoma? Yeah.
Was it Central Florida versus UConn? They were burn burners. So Bob Diaco, who's the coach after you, you had Edsel, right? I had Edsel, yeah.
So he created a rivalry out of thin air he said we're just he literally said we were choosing as well he choosing our rival in its central florida made the whole trophy and then ucf just completely ignored it like they beat uconn and just left the trophy on the field and it was in so the whole thing is civil conflict and it's flct at the end of conflict and they had a clock counting it down and it was very embarrassing for UConn football. That can't be going well for UConn here recently with UCS being so good.
Well no, it's done. It's over because he got fired.
I think the trophy is still at the stadium. They can't find the trophy.
There's a whole story, a mystery out there of where the trophy is. He's just created it out He's just created it out of nowhere.
It was embarrassing. But I love it because he's a true football guy.
Like, create a rivalry out of nothing. And he also said, what, the 21-yard line and end? Or 22-yard line and end was the actual red zone.
So he made his own red zone. It was just a great football guy all around.
Listen, that's just a football guy right there. Yeah, we're ragging on UConn.
We should have mentioned that you did go to a BCS Bowl. We did.
The Fiesta Bowl. Fiesta Bowl.
You got your ass kicked. I wouldn't say that.
48-20 is an ass kicked. That's an ass kicked.
Let me check. Hank? I don't know.
That guy, can you look that up? I don't know. That's 48-20? Yep, that's an ass kicked.
I don't think that's true. But you did.
You went to a BCS Bowl. That's pretty big for UConn football.
Yeah, and that was the high point right now. That's pretty much the high point.
Yeah, we're trying to bring it back with Edsel coming back. But we'll see what happens.
Yeah, that's right. I forgot Edsel was coming back.
Yeah, Edsel came back. Okay, the powerhouse.
So PFT just mentioned, Patrick, the Texas Tech-Oklahoma games. Can we talk about that classic game against Baker where you had 88 pass attempts? Yeah.
The one that we've heard a thousand times. Well, no, but I want – so you had 819 total yards you had uh five touchdowns two interceptions no one interception uh and baker had seven touchdowns zero interceptions that game two rushing touchdowns you did you're right 85 85 rushes two touchdowns that's true that game was it i mean was that the most fun game you've ever played in it would been if we won.
When you're at home and you lose a game, I mean, that never feels good. But it was a lot of fun going out there.
We knew playing Baker and Joe Mixon and D.D. Westbrook and all those guys that we were going to have to score a lot of points.
So, I mean, it was back and forth. Every single drive, it seemed like each team was scoring.
I didn't realize I had that many pass attempts until one of my roommates from, like, my freshman year came over to the sideline. Before the last drive, I was like, hey, bro, I don't know if you know, but you got 77 pass attempts.
And I was like, man, that's a couple. And so it was an amazing experience.
Like I said, it would have been better if we won, but it was a pretty rowdy crowd out there for Baker. It's like playing Madden on easy.
You're just scoring every single drive. You guys are going up and down the field.
We're playing with the Chiefs. Yeah, we're playing with the Chiefs.
Yeah, well, Big 12, I mean, they don't play defense. What game was more fun to play in that one or this year against the Rams? Again, another game that we lost.
I mean, both of them weren't the most fun games. I have a theory on that.
I think that the book's out on Pat Mahomes, on how to beat him. I think you just let him throw the ball for 600 yards and six scores on you.
And then at the end of the game, his arm's really tired. Because you've thrown the ball so many times.
That might be it. It seems like every game that's 50-plus that we seem to end up losing.
So we'll have to change that with the new defensive staff and new defensive guys we've got in there. So hopefully we can keep it to a more moderate score.
Does your arm get tired when you throw it 60 times, 88 times? No, growing up playing baseball, I had a few games. There you go.
Right back around. How far do you think you could have thrown the ball if you had played that game in Mexico City? Probably 100.
100? Yeah, because I got it like 83 I got it like 80, 83 in Denver. And then you just, you have to times it by two.
Cause it's like two miles above altitude. It's the highest stadium in the world.
Yeah. So yeah.
So we go back. Oh yeah.
I'll video and see if he actually does it. So we got proof.
Yes. What about that? So we can, yeah, that's coming through us.
No question. Um, how far could you throw a vortex football? I never was good with those, man.
Like, I don't know, man. Those aren't the ones I would throw with.
They're too small. It's Mickey Mouse stuff? Yeah, I guess so if you say it like that.
Yeah. Do you – when you do the no-look passes, do you realize your mechanics are terrible? My mechanics are never really great.
I do a lot of wild stuff. The coaches kind of are on that point where they're like, we need to kind of calm it down a little bit, but we can't let him not be himself.
So it's kind of that high and low that you have to kind of work with. And so I work on them all the time.
And if I can, I try to stay good with the fundamentals. But sometimes I kind of just get a little wacky there.
Yeah, your left-handed fundamentals, the mechanics are way, way off on that. Like the no-look stuff like Big Cat brought up, but like your left arm, come on, man.
Like you got to step into your throw. It's hard.
Vaughn's chasing you, man. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. Did you re-watch the no-look pass a bunch of times? Not as much as you would think.
I liked the pass later on in the game, the fourth down pass I liked more when I just kind of threw it to the middle of the field. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That was definitely more exciting to me, but the no look was cool. I mean, it's kind of funny.
I sent the receiver, Gary Deter, the wrong way, so it kind of helped out on the play, but it definitely worked out and we won that game. That's got to fuck all your receivers up though now because they're like, we could get a pass at any time.
Oh, they already knew that. We work on that in training camp as they keep running because he might throw it to you at any time.
Yeah, there's no clear routes in this offense anymore. We've come to find out that anyone at any time could the ball be thrown at you.
Do you catch yourself watching your own gifts? No, never been big on watching. Because I don't like watching stuff that happened already.

I just kind of keep moving forward.

That's such a quarterback answer.

But you just said a second ago that you watched the Nola.

You did.

Yeah, you got to watch it on film.

You got to make yourself better.

Oh, on film.

I think you're really missing out a great part of your career,

which is how gif-able you are.

Right now you're the most gif-able player in the NFL.

I don't know.

You've seen this guy on the Pro Bowl, man? That's true. Yeah, I didn't get that card, by the way.
Yeah, yeah. Who did get that card? Oh, Pat.
Oh, you're the most gifable player in the NFL. I don't know.
You've seen this guy on the Pro Bowl, man?

That's true.

Yeah, I didn't get that car, by the way.

Yeah, yeah.

Who did get that car?

Oh, Pat.

Oh, you didn't?

I still have to see it or drive it.

No, I haven't came in yet.

I thought he could ride shotgun permanently.

Well, I did tell him Brady would have given me the car.

Yes, I would say so.

That's true.

He didn't give it to me.

He got like seven cars or something, you know?

That doesn't mean you can always use another one, right?

I don't have seven cars.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, I have a truck, and that's it.

Yeah, we heard about that.

Thank you. That's true.
He didn't give it to himself. He's got like seven cars or something.
That doesn't mean you can always use another one, right?

I don't have seven cars.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, I have a truck, and that's it.

Yeah, we heard about that. He would never drive a car.

He's the only truck.

Yes, yes.

So the Madden curse, is it real?

I mean, it wasn't for Brady.

Okay.

And Antonio had a pretty good season.

But did you wake up the next day when you found out?

Well, I guess you found out a long time ago that you were a man. Did you – was there any moment – I'm a very superstitious guy, so I probably would have been like, no thanks.
Did you ever for a second like, maybe I shouldn't? No, it had been maybe when I was like 13 years old maybe. But now that guys like Brady have kind of went in and had great seasons after it.
And, I mean, Odell had a pretty good season. I mean, a lot of guys have had great seasons right now.
And so it can't be real. And there was apparently a curse that we couldn't win playoff games in Kansas City, and we broke that one.
That's true. That's very true.
Maybe my name is going to be like Curse Breaker or something like that. Combo Breaker.
Yeah. You would have actually really screwed with people's heads back when they had the passing cone, the vision cone in Madden.
Did you ever play with that? I did a couple times. I hated that.
If Pat Mahomes was a character in that game, the passing cone wouldn't mean shit because you'd be looking over to one side of the field and just throw it all the way across the field and be fine. So you would have broken the video game.
Yeah, that was the goal. A lot of people worked very hard on that video game.
The goal was to mess up the passing cone. Do you play with yourselves in Madden? Yeah.
I mean, yeah. We have a great offense.
It's like all you want in Madden. So, yeah, for sure.
I don't play Madden. I play NASCAR.
You play NASCAR video game? NASCAR Heat, yeah. That's so boring.
I got the whole set up. You just drive around? No, I get the whole set up.
What's fun is I just go in a circle for 400 laps? No, it's pretty sweet. Because I'm old school racing where I'm going to bump someone out of the way and put them into the wall.
And what about the other 395 laps? No, I don't do the whole thing. It's only getting a percentage of the race.
He only does 125 laps. He just turns up like Allman Brothers, throws in a tent of Copenhagen, and just pretends he's out for a drive.
Just driving simulator. Yeah, exactly.
Driving some more. The Anthony's German driving simulator.
When we were with Baker Mayfield, he is – Baker's a big-time listen-to-the-haters, guys. And, like, he'll take note of anyone who's ever slighted him or said something bad about him.
Are you the same way? I mean, there's definitely times where I hear stuff that can keep motivating me. And it's not something that I kind of look at and kind of always pay attention to.
But, yeah, I mean, if you're a person in the NFL, you've had people that have kind of hated on you your whole life. No one believes when you're 12 years old you're going to be an NFL football player.
And so, like, special occasions. But, yeah, everybody thought I was going to be a baseball player.
When I kind of chose football, everybody was kind of like, what are you doing? Right. And so, to me, it was like, all right, I've got to go out there and make this work.
I've got to go out there and prove these people wrong. and so you definitely see some stuff and you kind of like, what are you doing? And so to me it was like, all right, I got to go out there and make this work.
I got to go out there and prove these people wrong. And so you definitely see some stuff and you kind of follow it away.
Like, all right, I'm going to go out there and do it. But it's not something I like pay attention to all the time.
Okay, well, I got some hate that I want to read for you. Someone tweeted, didn't trade up to take Patrick Mahomes in the top ten.
That's a huge all-caps win. Yeah, not a lot of people were happy that I got picked 10th overall.
I wrote that tweet. Oh, I got you.
Yeah, no, no. I also said the hot take was I saw like one gif of you like before the season started.
I was like, Patrick Mahomes is overrated. This guy stinks.
So, I mean, I still am going to back Mitch Trubisky, but I think you're probably okay at football. Yeah, Mitch is good, man.
Mitch is a good player. And he's got Nagy there now, so they're really kind of taking off.
But, yeah, I mean, I appreciate the tweets. You know, you motivated me, I guess.
I was a big hater. But, listen, I had to defend my guy.
And credit to me, I knew that I was wrong basically right away. Like your first game, I was like, whoops, that was a mistake.
So I'm now on the right side of history. You're a good team player.
Yeah, exactly. You just got to stick with your guy.
I might have motivated you, actually. Who knows? Probably.
Yeah, if I would have followed you back then, I would have known that. And I might have had a better season.
Yeah, then you followed me, and then I had to start saying really nice shit about you. Yeah.
What about this one? Excellent tackle on that interception by Blake Bortles. Pat Mahomes doesn't throw interceptions because he's a coward.
Yeah. I don't know about that one.
I can't remember the last time I made a tackle. I threw an interception against the Patriots, and Hightower hurtled me.
So I need to work on that one for sure. Yeah, okay.
Blake can help you out. Okay, what about this? A little starting.
Let's say you guys are starting a team. You're the GM.
Would you rather have a quarterback that is thrown for 5,300 career yards or 5,400 career yards? Which one is me? You're the 5,300. Mitch Trubisky is the 5,400.
I don't know. It depends on the team, I guess.
Oh, okay. There we go.
So maybe the jury's still out. Yeah, exactly.
I'm going to nitpick as many stats. You actually probably have to run a little more because that's the one I'm going to hold on to.
Like, you keep breaking all these records and doing all these things. I'm just going to keep being like, yeah, but Mitch runs for more yards.
Yeah, well, I stopped running in college my last year. I ran twice, and I got two AC sprains on both shoulders.
Two different times I ran, and I was like, yeah, it's probably not for me. Okay.
So, yeah, you're not a dual threat. Yeah, so Big Cat brought up a good point.
We do nitpick you sometimes. Oh, yeah.
There are very few players that we do that to, and those are players that are so universally beloved that we like a lot that we have to find something wrong with them because as fans we have to be haters at times. So you want to get into some of the yeah yeah you go like this too much when you when like you're trying to hear the play yeah you put your both hands up to yours like too much yeah yeah but you're too like no but you're on offense you're not cheering that's a lie you wave them around you think you look cool yeah i think it's just because arrowhead's so loud that you make a good play and they're still cheering oh like it's so loud are you saying that they're bad fans because they don't know the game of football and to be quiet? They don't know what they're doing.
No, I'm saying they're good fans because they can never be quiet because there's so many people in the stadium. Yeah, okay.
What about how you always point for first downs on penalties, and when you get a first down, it's pretty obnoxious. Yeah, I've got to make sure I get it, you know? Yeah, but you always like it's just Patrick Mahomes.
But think about it this way. We get it.
Think about it this way. The refs are thinking about it.
They look over. They see someone pointing for the first down.
And there's a first down. Oh, that's like pointing a direction in basketball when there's a loose ball.
Yeah. Or like the catcher framing a third strike.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
You got to give them the idea. That actually is a very good explanation for it.
You wear a lot of turtlenecks. I've only wore one turtleneck all season last year.
But it's like, it's big and 40 and it sticks out. You wore it 16 times.
I wore it once in the last game. I've seen you wear, well, okay, maybe it's not always.
This isn't going our way, PFT. I wore it twice.
I wore it two plates. Exactly.
And I'm pretty sure that I've seen you with like a headband around your neck, too. Yeah.
So there's just a lot of stuff happening at your neck. Yeah.
Yeah, I like to have a very neck you gotta keep that voice ready to go yeah exactly i'll lose it quick yes uh what about the big white block on your helmet in the front that's obnoxious you gotta you gotta talk to the helmet people about that okay well you could put like a logo of yourself on it or something yeah but then you wouldn't be a helmet guy oh okay well here's you wouldn't be a team guy well let's put a let a logo of you pointing to the first down. That way you don't annoy me.
Two birds with one stone. I'm not annoyed by the white spot on your helmet, and now you don't have to point after the first downs.
I'll put a picture of Sherm. There we go.
So guys know I have grit. Or maybe just a little sausage with his face and two stick hands coming out.
So a full body picture of him. Yeah, we might actually have a shirt.
And then you get a visor so that when he looks at you, he's like, shit, I do have to throw it to the sausage with hands. Yeah, that's a good idea.
I do want a visor. It looks pretty sweet.
I just did an Oakley deal so I can get him a visor for sure. Are you going to wear a visor next year? We'll see.
Quarterbacks can't wear it. Yeah.
That's my pick, right? If you had the mirrored visor, that'd be sick. I don't think they allow that because then you can't see the quarterback's eyes.
But, I mean, that doesn't matter with me out the D you look like a robot from the future playing quarterback not looking anywhere so do you think our nitpicking was fair? you have to be nitpicked some of it you know you point too much I do point a is hilarious. Yeah, I mean, I've heard about it my whole life.
I like it. And, again, this is one of those things that, like, we have to find something almost as a joke to poke fun at.
But it's a very unique voice, and I know that Coach Reed absolutely loves it. He does.
He calls you the voice. He calls you froggy.
Is that one other thing I've heard? He might say Froggy real quick, but the voice is his go-to,

and he actually can mimic my voice like perfect.

Really?

Can you do an impression of Andy Reid doing an impression of you?

Then I'd just be talking.

Yeah.

I'd just be saying words.

Yeah, that was pretty good.

Yeah, that was it.

Yeah, that was it.

Good job, Coach.

The best is when he got into the huddle for the first time,

and you heard him try to spit out a play, and that voice,

and you're like, what's going on?

No, it messed me up because I was talking, and you're like,

I will... he got into the huddle for the first time and you heard him try to spit out a play and that voice and you're like what's going on yeah no it messed me up because i was talking and you know you're like looking around the huddle and i looked over and kels was laughing and so i had to stop calling

the play and i was like bro just i went to him i was like hey just let me call it dude i'm the

franchise quarterback you're gonna have to get used to this it's actually a very cool voice and

it's unique which is i think important to have like you stand out a little bit that way. It's distinguished.
It is distinguished. It has a lot of grit.
Yes. Oh, it does.
It has gravel in it. Yep.
Sounds like you actually have, like, pebbles in your throat. I have one last one.
None of your teammates tweeted happy birthday to you when it was your birthday. Oh, wow.
It was game day. We were thinking about football.
monday yeah monday sunday game day yeah thursday game day you gotta always be ready you're always ready so it's a day that there's football on that's a game actually we that's the most like relatable thing that you've ever said yeah like game days are everyday football's on that's true it's just it doesn't matter if your team's playing i just thought i I thought bo callahan 2.0 on that one it's actually very annoying how well you handled all those yeah that was yo all right all right everything i do is great you guys brought up the answer for everything i brought up matt nagy uh he was your coach for a couple years what what was he like as a coach are you surprised at all that he's having so much success in chicago no not at all what like what type of guy is he i'm looking for a quote that way they'll run it in chicago and they'll be great yeah a quote yeah man iggy is he's awesome he's just a coaches a player's coach like he listens he wants you to have your personalities a lot like coach reed where he just lets you be your own person and you know there's There's coach, like he listens. He wants you to have your personalities, a lot like Coach Reed, where he just lets you be your own person.
And, you know, there's rules, but adapt and let's have some fun and go out there and put some points on the board and stop him on D. Yeah.
You see it with his play calling. I mean, he's never satisfied.
He always wants to be innovative and do different stuff. And so that's how his personality is.
He's going to let you show your personality. He's going to have fun.
But when it's serious, he's going to be serious. You see him sometimes on the sideline yelling a little bit with that visor on him, that bald head.
You know he's about business. Did you make fun of the visor? It's a specific look that only a few people can pull off.
I think he pulls it off decently. No, he pulls it off.
The only thing that it gets him is training camp. He gets the tan line.
The visor tan line. That's when you have to kind of throw a few jabs at him.
That's a good thing. He throws him back.
Yeah, the super red head at the top. Yeah, absolutely.
How much do you guys squat? I don't want to talk about it. Pat, you go first.
Why? Because I'm a front squat guy now. They made me do front squat, you know, so it's not like a true max, so I'm not going to talk about it right now.
I'm a front squat guy now They made me do front squat So it's not like a true max So I'm not going to talk about it right now I'm a big deadlift guy though Let's get back to squats So you front squat You put like a plate on each side No you got to put two plates on You got to have two on there You think I could out squat you? Probably not What do you bench? The last time I benched was in college. Oh, that's what they all – It's a baseball guy.
Yeah, and I did get a 3-30 max bench for a quarterback. That's kind of – That is pretty good.
It's almost Brady Quinn almost. Yeah, that is almost Brady Quinn.
Did you want to do that at the combine? I did not. I did not want to do that because you get sore and you have to throw the next day.
Right. It was pretty dumb that Brady Quinn put up 36 reps at the combine.
Yeah, I mean, that was kind of – That was wonderful right there being like, hey, Brady, you should bench. He's like, no, yes.
What do you spot? One rep max or a couple reps? You choose. Whichever one you want to choose.
I would say a couple reps at 550. Jesus.
Fuck. Ask the Cavs, too, not the high school Harry shit.
That's ridiculous. All right, let's really put our cards on the table.
How much do you guys calf raise? I've been really working on my calf raises because I have very skinny. I have elongated calves, so I've been working on them.
They're strong. I can never get the bulkiness to them.
Actually, that's the new thing. His calves are too long.
Yeah. Yeah, that might be it.
That's the nitpick. That's why I always wear leggings.
You never see them. Yeah, we hate the leggings too.
I forgot about that. This thing's stretched out to forever.
What do you bench? 465. Jesus Christ.
Okay. So you're just like a meathead.
That's a lot. I mean, that's just – Yeah.
Do you ever – My job is to run full speed into other humans. Do you ever show up to a Gold's Gym or a Planet Fitness and just bench in front of people? I don't.
I would do that if I were. I don't because it irritates me.
He goes back to his high school back home in the offseason. I don't actually.
So he can show everybody. He goes to the old weight room.
He puts his new maxes on the wall. You know they have the high school maxes and on the bottom it says Sherm's max.
was uh hugh jackson to drafting you i think pretty close i mean i would never know for sure uh but they did like me a lot um a few a few uh coach payton like liked me a lot too okay and a few other guys i know for sure so did the bears reach out to you at all i talked to ron pace a lot honestly uh so i mean they definitely mitch. They wouldn't get him.
But I did talk – I met with them and had the visit with them and everything. Huh.
Because we were just going to fact-check Hugh Jackson for the rest of his career and being like, so who – because, you know, he wanted to draft every single good quarterback after the fact. No, he definitely – I went to the end visit.
He came out to Lubbock and had a little workout thing going on. So, he quizzed me, and he looked at me a lot.
Was there one team that you thought you were for sure going to go to that we can throw out there so the fan base can be like, damn, we could have had Patrick Mahomes? There's a couple teams. The Chiefs, I thought for sure I was going to go here.
The Chiefs liked you. The Cardinals, they liked me a lot.
And the Saints, those are the teams that kind of really liked me. Okay.
Saints are in a good position. Cardinals, I guess now they're happy.
Yeah, yeah, they got Kyler now. They have the Saints, man.
I'd probably still be backing up Drew, man. Yeah, that's true.
I'm in the best shape possible. Do you think you could have handled that to be like a three, four, five-year backup for a quarterback? When the guy's throwing for the stuff he's throwing for, you're fine with just backing him up and learning as much as possible.
Yeah. Okay.
That's a good attitude. I feel like at some point, though.
In theory, yeah. Like in practice, after a couple years, you'd probably just be like, man, just turn me loose.
You'd be the best practice player ever, though, man. That's true.
Think about it that way. Yeah.
Do you think you could kill a man with a football? I hope not. I hope not.
I mean, it would have to be very fast. I had to hit the perfect spot.
Ten yards away. Ten yards away.
I'm standing over here, run my little mouth, doing my little impressions of you, really annoying you. You have a football, and you have an opportunity to shut me up for good.
Okay, maybe not kill me. Maybe just break my jaw.
Yep. So I can't talk.
I'd probably break the jaw, but I don't know about killing, man. That'd be pretty tough.
That's pretty good. What's your deal with ketchup? You're a weirdo.
Yeah, it's actually gotten a lot better as I've gotten older. When I was young, I used to eat ketchup sandwiches, just bread and ketchup.
That's disgusting. That is disgusting.
How often? Every other day. Oh, my God.
Maybe I could throw it far. That might have been the trick.
It's like Jim Harbaugh drank a lot of milk. He just had a lot of ketchup.
Yeah, so that was definitely something that I got away from as I got a little bit older. But I still do the mac and cheese, which people don't like.
I like that. That's okay.
And the steak. Because I'm from Texas, and people are all obsessed with their steaks.
And so I've definitely been at a few nice restaurants where I've got the steak and asked for for ketchup and the chef comes out and asks like what's wrong what's wrong it's like if i'm ordering this expensive steak i want it the way i want it is there anything you've uh like a bridge too far that you've tried to put ketchup on you're like no this didn't work like all things that are healthy you know yeah broccoli i'm not a big healthy i'm trying to eat healthier now uh to try to try to lose and cut weight of course uh but uh I don't like a lot of it, so you've'm not a big healthy. I'm trying to eat healthier now to try to lose and cut weight, of course.

But I don't like a lot of it.

So, you know, you got to just like last straw,

just throw a few things of ketchup and just see if you can taste it out

and make it feel better.

Like vegetables?

Yeah, but you just kind of mix it all up, you know.

What vegetables are we talking about here?

Like a little bit of spinach.

I tried ketchup on one time.

Wasn't the best. Yeah, that's kind of gross.
Yeah, so other than that man i just kind of just stay away from vegetables as much as possible do you uh good advice yeah do you think you are uh good in cold games yeah we put a lot of cold games this year but you didn't before that because hank our producer who's a patriots fan said that uh that was his whole thesis behind the AFC Championship game. He's like, he can't play in the cold.
I mean, the week before that, it was like a blizzard. We pointed that out.
We pointed that out. And then the week in Denver, the first season, it was also snowing.
It was freezing. Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, I thought we played all right.
Okay. So, I mean, Tom just makes plays sometimes, and so that was the X factor of that game.
What did he say to you after the game? Did you guys meet in the middle? Yeah, I mean, he said a lot of stuff. We didn't meet in the middle.
He actually met me in the locker room after the game because they were kind of all hyped up after the win, of course, going to the Super Bowl. And, I mean, pretty much, I mean, he just talked about his experiences.
I mean, he's won a lot of big games. He's lost a couple.
Not a lot, but he's lost a couple. So he knows kind of that mentality, and he said he used to keep working.

Maybe one of these days he'll stop playing football,

which will probably be a long time from now.

And so either that or we'll have to find a way to get through them at some point.

But they're the top guys, and you have to strive to find some way to beat them.

Yeah, spin zone, you didn't – well, Blake, our guy Blake Bortles,

when he lost the AFC Championship game, he says he didn't cry,

and he just squirted water in his face by accident. You didn't have anything that was even questionable to that.
Yeah, I didn't cry. I was upset for sure.
How long did it take to get over that loss? After the Super Bowl for sure. I was still waking up in the mornings like, man, we could be playing right now.
We could be in the Super Bowl. Even going to NFL Honors, it was awesome, but you're like, man, they're playing the Super Bowl next day.
That would be way better. And what was it like in the locker room with Dee Ford after? Like, obviously, you don't – like, you can't blame a guy, but it was a huge play.
I didn't even think about that at all in the locker room. People make a big deal about it.
But, I mean, like you said, I mean, it's one play. Like, we could have – the game could the game could have changed the offense scored like no points in the first half because we we were we were struggling I tweeted about how awesome I was because I bet the under so thanks for that I was like I'm a genius I was like this game is going so under yeah but I mean they they had a good defensive plan uh we found ways to make plays in the second half but nothing was easy I mean the Belichick he knows how to scout and do those things.
We'll have to find a way to play him again this year.

There'll be a lot of good teams in the AFC, so we're at the

final way to beat him. Did you talk to Dee Ford

after?

Not that I didn't want to talk to him.

That didn't even cross

my mind that that was the reason

because it's not. Like Pat said,

we score one touchdown in the first

half. The game could have been completely different going into

the second half. It's one of those things

where it's not just one play. I know it's a cliche

Thank you. because it's not like pat said we we score one touchdown in the first half game could have been completely different going into the second half yeah so it's one of those things where it's not just one play i know it's cliche and no but it's true it really is i mean there's plenty of opportunities throughout that game that that one play that's a media thing too like that we we are very open about like you know we're fans but obviously we're partially in the media now and like i think media loves to throw narratives out there and point to one play.
But from your guys' perspective, you're like, we could have won a million different times. Yeah, exactly.
And like we said, I mean, the first – I got sacked in the first half and I took us out of football range. And that right there is that changes the whole game.
So that's just – it speaks to – there's little stuff that happens throughout a game that changes the whole narrative of the game in the end. so coming off a season like yours you're the mvp you're pro bowler how do you do like when you're going to the next year you played so well last year is there anything that you're focusing on like i need to change something or is it just i need to do what i was doing last year except like a little bit more intensity yeah it's definitely stuff that i that i need to change as i looked at a scheme eval I kind of looked over all the stuff there was a lot of times where I could have taken the easy throws move the chains instead of going for the big one uh that that's something I have to kind of manage is I want to scramble around and throw the touchdown the 50 yard touchdown but when you have a first down right there let's just get the first down and move the chains so as I get more experience I'm going to keep working on that and finding knowing when to go for the big shot and when to just take take the easy one and get the first down yeah but you don't want to get rid of that though you don't want to get rid of like it's a balance man i mean it really is like i've dealt with it my whole life is i've always wanted to scramble around throw it 50 yards downfield and catch a touchdown but when you get to the nfl man you have to take advantage of every possession i would like a couple more check downs yeah yeah let's do that you know i'm the check guy check down guy that he's talking about Have you, like, you have to take advantage of every possession.
I would like a couple more checkdowns. Yeah.
Let's do that.

I'm the checkdown guy that he's talking about.

Have you, like any moment in the offseason, been like, maybe if I

had squatted 10 more pounds,

Patrick wouldn't have taken that sack

and we would have had that field goal.

Think about that. I mean, that's a good point.

I mean, sometimes you think like that

when you're in the gym. You're in the gym, you get the music

going, you think about other

times in your career that

you should have been stronger. Yes.
Would you

I'm going to be right back. I mean, sometimes you think like that when you're in the gym.
When you're in the gym, you've got the music going. You think about other times in your career that you should have been stronger.

Would you rather catch a wheel route for a touchdown,

for like a 40-yard touchdown, or lay somebody out on a block?

Lay someone out on a block.

Flat back, pancake, step on his chest, that whole nine yards.

Oh, yeah.

For sure.

You're talking about stepping on people's chests.

He won't even break my jaw with a football. Well,hmm.
Well, that's a QB and that's Pat. Yeah.
That's true. That's true.
Has there ever been – what's the one block that you miss that keeps you up at night? Who's your quarterback at UConn? Zach Frazier. Okay.
Tyler Lorenzen. Okay.

Know the last name.

Everyone knows those guys.

Yeah.

You were – no, Orlovsky was older, right?

Yeah, a lot older.

Okay.

We're going to go there.

I'm just trying to think of quarterbacks at UConn.

I can't really – yeah, it's tough.

Kimball Walker.

Yeah, Kimball Walker.

Oh, basketball.

We've got basketball guys for sure.

Jim Calhoun is the best.

Men's and women.

Yeah, Jim Calhoun is, you know, quote machine.

Big basketball school.

Yeah, now Texas Tech is too.

Yeah, we got Chris Beard.

That's like the grittiest guy.

You don't need to get him.

That's true.

We actually were going to get him on if you guys won.

It was all set up.

You're taking shots like that?

I wasn't a shot.

It was a fact.

If Texas Tech had won the national championship, we would have had Chris Beard on.

I'm actually kind of glad they didn't

because I didn't want to listen to him

when we got back. And he was on TV

and doing the whole fucking thing.

I'm Patrick Mahomes.

Like, so excited to do the Adidas thing. Like, come on.

Right. Because we all know you signed

with Adidas. Like, it's relaxed.
Yeah, you can't have

that taken from you. Yeah, we got more

championships. Yeah, exactly.
Basketball.

Do you hate Chris Long now? I don't. He was there.
He was with Danny, we got more championships. Yeah, exactly.
Basketball. Do you hate Chris Long now?

I don't. He was there.
He was with Danny.

So I saw him.

But yeah, he's good. He's too good of a

dude to hate him.

It's hard to hate that guy.

He is way too good of a dude.

Alright, I got one last question. It's a SeatGeek question.

Use

promo code TAKE. You get $10 off your SeatGeek

purchase. How many touchdowns are you going to throw this next year? enough to win the Super Bowl no give me a number did you just guarantee a Super Bowl? that's a better answer but as many touchdowns as I can throw that helps us find a way to win the Super Bowl that'd be awesome so give me a number 52 I don't know 45 I'll see.
45. I'll give a number.
I'll give a number. I'll say 48.
48? 48. Wow.
Sophomore slump. No, not sophomore slump.
I'm going to run more now. He might have a couple more.
Be careful with those long calves. And do not do that.
That's the only thing I have with Mitch right now. So don't do that.
I need to be like, I would still take Mitch over Patrick. Alright, four touchdowns to him and 48 total.
Yes, and then three running touchdowns with him blocking for me. And I'd say 15% less pointing for first downs.
That's going to be in your head. I'm going to work on that for you guys.
Do you think at some point this next season, you will point for a first down and you'll think of these two idiots? I'm pointing it myself. Maybe.
Maybe. 100% guarantee for every single game.
Because I'll remember it. When I'm sitting there on the sideline, I'll remember it.
Be like, hey, look what he did. It's not when it's a big play that's fine, but it'll be like a little five-yard penalty.
You'll be like, come on, man. I'm going to do a super aggressive one that's known it's for you.

Okay.

That works, too.

That works, too.

I like that.

My last question.

Have you heard my impression of you before today?

Yes.

I've heard it.

I've seen it on Twitter, man.

Okay.

When you first saw it, did you think I was the world's biggest asshole

or did you think it was funny?

I thought it was pretty funny, honestly.

Because you had like a full – it wasn't like you were just doing the impression, you had

a full like, like I was doing an interview.

Yeah.

It made it better.

To kick it down to you.

It made it better.

Also, I think it helps that I suck at it and I'm actually not good.

I just kind of do weird stuff that sounds like Yoda and I call it an impression.

That makes it better though.

Yeah.

It's not like you're actually like going full out trying.

You're just doing whatever you think is best. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
good. That's been weighing on me.
Do you want to ask me a question? Patrick Mahomes. How good were you playing 500 when you were a kid? And you bet you could throw the football a quarter mile straight through the clouds.
All I heard was football as a kid. And I didn't play football until I was in high school.
No, Patrick, you misheard me. Throw the ball a quarter mile through the clouds.
I heard it because I can't hear you. Patrick, I was like, play 500 with the boys in the backyard.
I've never heard myself talk in person, so I can't understand. Is that better or worse than Coach Reed's? No, Coach Reed's is on point, man.
Coach Reed is exactly what I think I sound like. So to me, it's on point at least.
Does Coach Reed, the gif of him running, it's obviously fake, running through the wall, the Kool-Aid man, does he come into the locker room just firing? I would imagine he's the type of guy, he comes in the locker room and he just fires everyone up just by his presence. Yeah, on game day for sure.
On game day, that man comes in. What's his speech like? He really doesn't give a speech.
It's just his presence and his knowledge of the game that you just sit there and go, okay, we're all right if he's calling the plays. We've got to send you guys a picture or a T-shirt.
We made the football guy T-shirts of Coach Reed when he was in that punt, pass, and kick competition. Please, you guys should wear it.
Hank, put that – write that down, please. We will send you those.
It's the greatest picture of all time. It is the greatest picture of all time.
Yes. The first time I saw that, I had to show my whole family.
It is the best that always comes up on our first Monday night game. They always have to show it.
It's so funny. If you look at the graphics on the screen, they misspell his last name too.
It's Andrew R-I-E-D. It's so good.
And he's like lined up ready to go. How far could – well, do you have a pooch punt in your arsenal? I do.
Our special teams coach, Tobe, he is not – he's not giving me the opportunity to pull it out. Okay.
So I have it. I try to plead for it and I try to go for it.
But we have a pretty good punter, and he says that he can kind of do it on his own. He can do it better than you.
So you're one-dimensional. You only play offense.
Oh, I can play defense. I played safety when I was in high school.
No tackling. Have you played safety in the NFL? No tackles, six interceptions.
Yes, no tackles. Have you played safety in the NFL? Not yet.
Oh, I have. Oh.
Ooh. Ooh.
Wait, last question. You brought up Dave Tobe, who's a special teams legend.
Used to be the special teams coach for the Bears. You are on special teams, Sherm.
Does he, the Dave tobe special where he has one guy pretending to catch the punt and then it gets caught on the other side is that a play he calls or like do you just do it you're always ready for it no that's a play he calls that's fucking it's the best play it's awesome yeah when he first put it in he showed us that clip and we had a team incredible a's not on the team anymore, but Frank Zombo. He was actually on Green Bay when it happened.
When it happened to him, yeah, yeah. And he's like, I remember this happening.
It was crazy. It was insane.
Yeah, dude. It's basically two guys back for the punt, and one guy pretends to catch it, and the ball's just in a completely different direction.
I still don't really understand how it works. Because the punter knows where he's punting.
It turns out that when you're running back to cover the kick, you don't look up in the sky at all. You just look at who's going for it.
They found a weakness in the loophole. It's a loophole in the return.
Well, it's actually even what we talk about when we're on punt team and we're kicking the ball. Like, hey, alert that play.
Watch out for Dave Tobe, yeah. Look for the ball in the air to make sure we're not going in the wrong direction.
Yes, yes. What is that called, like the Dave Tobe special? It is.
I mean, I call it the Tobe special, but I don't know. Yeah, that's a good name for it.
It works. I like that, and I like when the punter puts the ball behind their back to fake the reverse.
Yeah. Or when someone lays down in the end zone.
Yeah, when Sean Payton has some guy wearing like a – Dave Tobe has that, too. When they're all black strip.
I haven't seen it yet. Seven years.
I feel like he probably has that somewhere in there in the library. Last question for me.
Do you guys really like the color rush uniforms? I love our color rush uniforms. They're all red.
What about the all whites? I'm like a big ketchup bottle. I'm just out there swinging it around.
I like the all whites chiefs that you guys have. Those are clean.
Yeah, those are sweet. We played with those against the Rams though, so we lost those.
That's's true. They're still pretty sweet, though.
Yeah, they are pretty sweet. I mean, last, last, last, last question.
Are you faster when you wear white cleats? I'm never fast. For sure, look faster.
Yeah. I don't know if you are.
No, well, if you feel faster and you're confident, you look good, you play good. So, like, maybe the white cleats look like I'm running too high.
That might be something you guys get nitpicking. Yeah, you're just literally giving us nitpicking stuff.
Yeah, that's right. Low knees.
Knees never goes to sneeze. Low knees for homes.
Yeah, low knees for homes. That's what they call them.
It's because I have such elongated calves. That's right.
That's right. Elongated calves.
It all starts at the calves. It screws you up.
Jeez, you're just a freak. You're so weird looking.
All right. Well, thank you guys.
Grit Week, the kickoff of Grit Week. It was a pleasure.
Best of luck in 2019. And you now are a recurring guest, so you have to come on anytime we ask.
Okay, sounds good. Perfect.
Literally, anytime. Thanks, boys.
Appreciate it. Yeah, thank you.
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All right, back to part of my take. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have...
Breaking Moves. Oh, Breaking Moves.
Breaking Moves. Brooks Koepka.
Brooks Koepka. Has posted on Instagram his picture with the trophy, holding four for all four majors he's won.
Four major tournaments for me, Brooks Koepka. And the caption, now that's Gucci, bro.
That's Gucci, bro. That Breaking Moves was brought to you by chocolate milk for real recovery that tastes real good oh great job slid that one in there what happened there do they not make you read anymore i just did he read that you literally just heard nothing else no oh wow that's gucci brah what are the that is gucci what are the healthiest ingredients in chocolate milk hank do you remember what they used to make you say? Milk.
Calcium. Whey.
Calcium. Paint.
Alright PR 101 for Kevin Durant. We're not going to use the word baby back bitch.
I said we weren't but I have to tell people that what I'm not going to say is baby back bitch. We're not going to a baby back bitch because he's not a baby back bitch right and we would not we don't say baby back

bitch anymore so no more baby back bitches that's not what we were going to say about kevin durant

but if we were to call him a baby back bitch well if we were to describe this behavior it would it's

the behavior of a baby back bitch but it's not what we're saying right now so uh someone put

an instagram where it was warriors talk instagram account a kid replied doubt us without kd doubt

Thank you. right now so uh someone put an instagram where it was warriors talk instagram account a kid replied doubt us without kd doubt curry clay and dre and keep thinking milwaukee is better you're all doubters and haters we'll see pretty innocuous kevin durant replied very divisive mikey let's celebrate this win is dub nation fuck wrong with you okay coming out swinging one stay off the weed kevin durant always online i you know what we've decided though as a podcast we kind of like it because he is now like committed to this you know the burner account was a tipping point where everyone's like jesus christ dude you care too much but since then he has stayed online.
online. And he's tweeted and Instagrammed and done all this through it.
And now he's on the other end where it's like, you know what? He just wants to clap back at all hours. I think Kevin Durant honestly goes in the posting hall of fame for how online he is considering his level of fame.
He should be a blogger. I would say it's like him and Anthony Weiner are the two most consistently committed online guys in the game today.
Maybe of all time. And the best part is it's very relatable because really the only difference between us and Kevin Durant right now is a jump shot.
That's it. That's it.
We can shoot one and his calf is strained so he can't. Right now, I could probably beat him one-on-one.
I could absolutely beat Kevin Durant one-on-one right now. But it is like he's just always online and I kind of like it.
I like it too. My PR one on one forum.
This is kind of coming out of left field, but bear with me. Have you guys see the new trend in the Internet of that lady that just runs like a horse everywhere? Yeah.
Yeah. So if Kevin Durant wants people to get off his back, he should just get into horse girl Internet and just do things where he.
Did you see the girl doing the jumps over the things? I recreated that. Yeah.
I recreated that video like five years, which was one of the weirdest things. Yeah, Hank videotaped it.
It's coming back. Dave and I just jumped over.
We got on our hands and knees and jumped over a bunch of things. And this girl...
I think the lady's name is Anna Sadler. And now, I'm jumping like a horse.
She's really good at running like a horse. Wait, is she growing up as the same woman? I don't know.
I just remember making the video. No, it's not a little girl.
It's very weird. No, it's not.
The little girl is the original. No, it was an old lady.
It was a lady. It was a lady.
Yeah, no, the little girl is the OG horse animal. Whoever this lady is.
Horse person. And a saddle.
She's mastered the gait of a horse. I think.
Like running through a field, doing a little gallop. Yeah, yeah.
It's perfect. I'm weirdly in love with her.
Yeah. So he should just post that.
I actually think Kevin Durant would be a really good horse imitator. Or if he just went back to Internet 1.0 and just started posting links to cake farts and meat spin.
Hamster dance. Yeah, just like, hey guys, we're just going back in time.
Kevin Durant would log on to Meatspin and just be like, the fuck is this? And he just started yelling at it. It was.
Anna Salander, yeah. Is it the same? She's just all grown up? I don't know.
I'm looking at the old video. Yeah, she's great.
Whoever this new lady is. It's the old video.
This little girl, she just jumps like a horse. So it must be.
I bet you she's all grown up. This is bad internet.
Bad radio. Okay.
So she's in. Yeah, she's really good.
Yeah. But the older lady that's doing it these days, she's exceptionally talented.
We'll post the video of me and Dave jumping like horses. Dude, look at that.
She that. This is the worst radio of all time.
Sorry about that. Now all hurdles are raised.
And she's still jumping like a horse. Fuck.
That's crazy, man. She actually was pre-woke.
Because this video came out in 2014. Be whoever you want to be.
If that's a horse yeah that's a horse go ahead be your your true self you don't how about that horse that ran the entire preakness without a jockey awesome i love that horse yeah in it for the love of the game it was like ichabod crane is it was that the name of it no headless that would be cool just running around yeah the guy and the guy fell off and they tried to get it did you see they tried to capture it catch? They tried to catch the horse? With a lasso? No, there was another. The people who run the track came up from behind and tried to catch the horse.
You're not going to catch a horse. Are you talking about this lady? No, no.
No, that's the Jazzercise lady. Prancercise.
All right, so we're way off. The bottom line is that Kevin Durant would make a fine horse imitation.
Yes. Okay, I don't know how we got here, but we're here.
Put one in his ear hole. Chris Long retired, and he didn't give us the fucking scoop.
Thanks, Chris. The one scoop we wanted.
Way to make it all about yourself, Chris. Yeah, Chris.
Selfish. Yeah.
I couldn't help but notice you're drinking of a solo cup. Oh, you're so frat, bro.
Wow. Yeah.
So cool. I think it was one of those cases.
You probably could beat us in beer pong. I think it was one of those cases where it was just a really nice day at Chris's house.
And he was like, fuck work forever. Why would anybody want to work if it's so nice outside in my lush backyard? I really did feel like.
Got out of hand. I finally got to the real journalist stage where I could honestly tweet, great player, even better guy.
That's when you like Mitch Albom, a little tear rolled down his face when he did that because it's like, hey, way to make it about yourself. That's what you got to do when someone retires.
Yeah. You can also go the other direction and be like, hey, Chris, why don't you do this before the draft? Right.
So your team could have filled your hole. Well, yeah.
Was he still in the Eagles? You left a big hole. Yeah, he did.
Huge hole. Big hole that needs filling.
He actually did have like, if if you look at the advanced stats, Chris Law was really fucking good. Which I do.
Yes. And the All-22.
All right. Before we get to Monday reading Game of Thrones recap, quick drunk idea.
PFT, you go first. You had a drunk idea over the weekend.
Saturday morning, I came up with the idea for CrossFit for chunky dogs. So it's like a doggy daycare.
Okay. If your dog's a little chunk, a little chunk of the trunk, drop it off with like a personal trainer.
They charge you like 50 bucks, 100 bucks an hour, and then just run around with your dog. They give it a workout, but they make it all science-y.
Okay. You put a heart rate monitor on it.
What about dog walks? Like a dog walker? It's like that, except it's way more science-y. And more expensive.
It's actually exactly the same as a dog walker. Right.
that except it's way more sciencey and more expensive it's actually exactly the same as a dog dog walker right but you put a heart rate monitor on it and you call it like crossfit for dogs i like that yeah that would actually work it would work people would pay three four times as much for it yeah and you just started in brooklyn um all right i have two drunk ideas one i think i just incepted from parks and rec i don't know if it's true or or not. But I was in Milwaukee.
They both came from Milwaukee, my drunk ideas. I saw the largest four-sided clock in the country.
And I think we just need to be mayors of a city and just create insane records for everything. Like the biggest fire hydrant.
I like that idea, but didn't you just describe every single Jumbotron in the NBA? What do you mean it's a four-sided clock yeah well no it's a uh maybe it's an analog clock is it or not i would yeah analog it's got hands yeah it's got the hands okay so that's why it was the biggest so maybe we do a five-sided it was pretty fucking big dude how big we talk it was pretty big what about like the biggest uh tire fire of no like the longest tire fire that's just pollution. That might be Simpsons.
Yeah. So I think this is...
Yeah, I've been just watching. But no, I like your idea.
Just a bunch of attractions that you bring people to. The world's biggest Adam.
The world's biggest... Yeah, it's just a box.
An empty box. I was going to say it was just a really tall dude named Adam.
Oh, I was saying Adam as in A-T-O-M. Yeah.
And people won't know the difference. Both.
They'll just'll just be like trust me it's still really small yeah but it's inside this glass case and he's holding it's it's it's a seven foot three inch guy named adam that's holding it holding the case yeah it's like hey it's a twofer see the world's biggest adam the double whammy yeah and we just do shit like the world's smallest toilet and it's okay yeah world's smallest functioning toilet yeah exactly i can make that and just keep doing that it accepts like one one squirt of jizz that's that's the size of the yes exactly um all right my other drunk idea was uh kind of like how when we had action bronson on he basically was like yeah i just filmed shows of shit i like to do we should do we should start a travel show where we eat wings and it's uh like the five minutes of the show is us eating wings and the last 25 minutes is just us complaining about heartburn so we just sit back and we're like ah fuck we shouldn't have eaten all those wings why didn't somebody stop me from eating all the wings this time long silence and then a burp and I mean Tums would be a great. Yeah, we're essentially creating a show just to have our meals and antacids paid for.
Yeah. It's just great.
It's perfect. And it's just called Two Guys That Never Learned Their Lesson.
Right. And they're just like, oh, the wings again.
Should I get the hot ones or the mild? I'll get the hot ones again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why not? It's like, oh, fuck, man. Oh, I should have gotten the hot wings.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to go out tonight. Yeah.
The sour burn is killing me. Yeah, then going to bed at 7 o'clock.
Yeah, we have a live cam in our bed. Just roll over and just do that thing where you puke a little in your mouth.
Yeah. Fun fact, I think the last three road trips that we've been on as a podcast, I've woken up in the middle of the night in the hotel and just gone and thrown up from excessive amounts of sodium.
Not from alcohol. Right.
From just eating a lot of unhealthy stuff that I know that I shouldn't eat. And you drink like really cold water and it feels like the best cure of all time.
Yeah. But you know what? That's how I test my body.
That's how I make sure that I know my body's operating at peak performance is if I can overload it with sodium and it still rejects it. Right.
Then that's a healthy bod. If once I start absorbing all that sodium and my body just gives up right it's like oh you're not going to throw up because fuck it you're going to die anyways you're dead yeah so my body is still still good yeah he just check on the old gut uh we have our monday reading this one's a doozy it's titled my children are furious i'm having sex with their half brother.
Is it also known as A Song of Ice and Fire?

Yeah, that one makes no sense.

But all right, yeah, we'll get to that.

That was a bullshit part of that show.

All right, Dear Prudence,

my significant other died six months ago.

Hold on.

We might be getting a...

You're live on the podcast, so don't say anything stupid.

Thank you. Hold on.
We might be getting a... Let's fucking go! You're live on the podcast, so don't say anything stupid.
First time to live on the podcast. Hey, Brooks, what's up? I'm on full send mode.
Full send mode. You're live on the podcast, just so you know.
Hi, is that Jenna? Jenna, would you care to comment about the missed kiss? Would you care to comment about the missed kiss? Miss kiss comment. You handled it well.
You handled it well. She pleads the fifth.
Yeah, I pleads the fifth. You handled it well.
You walked it off like a pro. She said you walked it off like a pro.
Well, I appreciate that. Yes.
The Kiss of Matter on 18. There we go.

There we go.

The Kiss of Matter on 18.

You heard it here first.

All right. Well, congrats, Brooks.

Where are you?

Congrats.

Hey, hey, hey.

For real, though?

That's Gucci, bro.

That's Gucci, bro.

That's Gucci, bro.

That's Gucci, bro.

Congrats, dude.

Thanks, bro.

I'll shout later.

All right.

Talk to you later.

All right.

That was Brooks Koepka on the show. Wow.
Blake is smiling through his tears over there. Yeah, Blake.
By the way, yeah, Blake Bortles is sitting off camera. But, I mean, do you want to have a comment? Blake, would you like to talk about his encouragement on Blake of the Year? Yeah, you would love to say that's Gucci, bro.
Come on, just say something, you know? All know all right he's got nothing all right so back to this woman who's fucking her stepbrother stepson she's no her no her kids are mad at her because she's fucking her their stepbrother yes that's right okay here we go i think i've seen this on the front page of pornhub before okay here go. My significant other died six months ago from a long-term illness.
In our 25 years together, we had a 25-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son. During that time, he had an illegitimate son who was also 21 years old, just a few months older than our son.
I didn't even meet this son until he was 15. After my significant other's death, he began living with me and my son.
So wait, I'm okay. So her significant other died, had an illegitimate son.
The illegitimate son moved in. So this is just her getting back at her ghost husband.
Right. I'm all in favor of that.
Get revenge on the ghost before he gets it on you. Okay, so here we go.
So she says says uh about a month ago i developed a sexual relationship with my significant other's son dead significant other by the way uh and my children have now disowned me calling the relationship disgusting a poor decision and inappropriate sounds like you raise good children love is love great morals that's a good spin zone yes it. It's like, yes, you're doing your own test on your kids to see your parenting skills, and you're getting laid at the same time, and they're passing with flying colors.
This seems like a rare win-win-win situation to me. Yeah, you have raised great children who know the difference between right and wrong.
Like, hey, don't fuck your dead husband's illegitimate son six months after your dead husband died the trick is also going to be if you get pregnant then that child is going to be uh both brothers and it's going to be the brother and the son of your stepchild this is a perfect lead into game of thrones by the way all right so wrapping up She says this is her spin zone uh-huh the way i see it other than the age gap of 25 years yeah we are both single both adults we are not related i didn't raise him i didn't even meet him until he was 15 years old and i was never actually married to his dad therefore i was never actually his stepmom that was more than just other than the age gap of 25 years old i like that though the fact that she was never married to his dad yes makes a big difference here we are not related i didn't raise him i didn't even meet him until he was 15 years old yeah you're always you can tell it's a successful relationship if you have to qualify at the start by saying under all laws federal and state what i'm not elite. Yes.
I just want to get it out in the open. Do you think my children are correct in their perception of this relationship? And if so, for what reasons? It's your dead husband's.
No, not husband, dead boyfriend, stepson. There's so many different dead husbands.
No dead significant others. Stepson.
This is great. I love these fucking things you're writing into uh prudence prudence what does prudence have to say about prudence prudence is basically like listen to your kids which is pretty sound advice there um and you she said you say you met him when he was 15 as if that explains everything good point prudence that doesn't there's a lot more questions than answers for this woman yeah so you met him when he was 15 and that's when you sized him up yeah you're like you need to wait until yeah you had to slowly poison your husband it's like when then you can yeah it's like when coach k gives a letter like a scholarship to an eight-year-old like when you get to that point you give me a call we'll have a call we'll have a conversation had one of those like tear away calendars counting the days till you're 18 yes exactly this is fucked up i don't even know let's go to game of thrones hank talk about fucked up let's talk about fucked up how mad are you on a scale of one to ten your queen is dead yeah that was tough the show turned into a hallmark ending tough night for team targ uh danny's got stabbed the other Targ, and then he had to renounce all of his titles, lands.
They basically set him up to be the king of the realm, and then just like, all right, see ya. See ya.
Because of the fucking Unsullied. Yes.
Those are the dickless guys, right? Dickless fuck. Who then left.
Right. I mean, there's a million things that make no sense.
I'm okay with the dickless guys winning, because at the end of the day, they don't have a package. No, but they might as well have something.
But they won. They're like, all right, this is how it's going to go.
And then they basically said, John can't be king. He has to become going to Night's Watch, who doesn't have to look after anyone because the Night King's fucking dead.
And the free folk are the Night's Watch. I wish the Night King had won in retrospect.
And then after they said that, they just left. Yeah, I know.
It's true. You were're right turn everybody into just like a big zombie you're right everybody's happy if everyone's dead and bran was like why do you think i came here we don't know dude you've been talking riddles for the last five seasons we have no idea what you're doing at all you know it would have been a sick ending if bran had been like the uncle from breaking bad and had a bomb in his wheelchair and just blown the shit out of everybody.

Just like rung a bell. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Sansa, so

at the end of the day, Sansa was like,

listen, Bran, you can be king, but I'm

going to be the queen of the north. So there's still

a brother and sister ruling over the

seven kingdoms, but they call one of them the six

kingdoms, and the north is separate.

Bran's the citrus candidate.

So if you're not a Stark, who's going to buy that?

Like, oh, Bran is the king of the

six kingdoms. The north

and kingdoms yeah and the north is separate right brand's the citrus candidate so if you're if you're not a stark who's gonna buy that like oh bran is the king of the six kingdoms yeah it's called the north the north is separate but it's also the king's sister it's called compromise when you compromise everyone's equally unhappy so everyone's happy this whole thing like i'm i'm thankful that i didn't spend 10 years of my life watching this show because i feel very bad for people who did. I binged it in the last three months.
I was okay with whatever happened in the last season because I didn't commit my life to it. I feel bad for the people who committed 10 years of their life watching this show and then having them be like, dude, that moment when Samuel Tarly stood up and was like, why don't we all rule? And everyone was like, ha ha, you fucking fat fuck.
Democracy will never work. And like, it was so, like, just the whole way it ended.
And then we didn't get any Arya. Like, dude, the coolest thing that happened in Game of Thrones was Arya could just take off other people's faces and she just stopped doing it.
I want to see more faces be taken off. I want to see more shit.
So, I don't know. I mean, whatever.
Tyrion just walking and finding. Not mad.
I'm not mad because I honestly didn't commit myself. Like, I feel bad.
I honestly, like, people are mad. They've been right.
I'm more like, whatever. I think you were mad.
And that's okay to be mad. No.
Let me do the sabermetrics here. Okay.
Hang on. On your Twitter account.
Yeah. So you averaged one tweet per like three minutes of the show.
If you're going to do sabermetrics, do it correctly. You were pretty mad.
Do it correctly. It's okay to admit that you were emotionally invested in this series.
But I wasn't the same way. I was more like I wanted an ending that wasn't cheesy.
That's all. I did like how they brought out the book and they're like, what's this book called? Oh, it's a song for Fire and Ice.
It's George R.R. Martin.
It's Samuel Tarly. The whole thing was cheesy as fuck and then they're sitting around like the ending of Seinfeld sitting in the jail where they're all sitting around the table in King's Landing like, well, we got to get more wheat for the winter.
All right, you're on that brand. Oh, okay.
Well, someone's got to figure out a new fucking shitter because that one blew up with the dragon fire. It turned into them playing SimCity around the table at the end.
You're like, okay, we got to build the electric power plant, but make sure that it's not too close to the residential neighborhoods. Our roads are kind of fucked up.
Anyone want to do some paving? Where's the dragon? It's not here. Okay, good.
Moving on. Anyone seen it? Oh, yeah, we saw it flying saw it flying east yeah all right okay okay cool so that's it um but shout out to ghost got his boop john snow gave him a little snuggle wuggle and the dog was very good wolf 13 out of 10 there's rumors that they called there it's a fact that they called kid harrington back to la to meet with hbo there's a chance they like to redo that scene because people were so mad about Ghost.
No. You think so? I think he was supposed to host a charity event and he had to cancel at the last minute to go to LA to meet with HBO.
Do more CGI? Yeah. To CGI? And they also had to edit out the puppuccino that was next to him in that final scene? So, Hank, were you like...
Hank, you were invested. This consumed everything.
I mean, I said it on friday show like i kind of gave up after the third episode when i realized that all the shit i was invested to just wasn't going to happen like i like the lore shit i like the prophecy shit i like the john snow storyline they basically didn't do any of that this whole season so i wasn't really like it's not like i was like going into it super excited and i was let down i was going into it pretty let down and it was just like funny how bad the last episode was the fire and ice thing when he pulled that out i was like you gotta be kidding that was great i love that they killed they would be better if just fucking aliens had come down to earth and just destroyed everybody when they just killed denarius and it was like that's like basically what the whole show was building up to like john snow den Daenerys, main characters for the entire seven, eight seasons.

Killed her and they just cut to the council right after that.

There was no aftermath of what happened.

The dragon flew away with Daenerys.

Jon Snow, how do you even tell people,

like, hey guys, I killed Daenerys but no one knows where she is.

The dragon flew away.

And people just believe him.

And then if they took him prisoner, they would have killed him. Like if Jon Snow told Grey Worm that he killed Daenerys Grey Worm would have killed him in a second they didn't show any of that he's got no dick he's got nothing else to live for and they literally has no other like joy besides killing people and he was saying the whole he's like I'll kill the Lannisters because Dany told me to so it's like if you kill Dany you're gonna die but they just cut to the trial, which was like five months later.
Titty boy. Oh, yeah.
That was funny. Robin Aaron.
Yeah. He was funny.
He was hilarious. He was hilarious.
I was growing up from that titty milk. The dude from the Red Wedding.
He was a dude who basically was sucking on his mom's tits when he was like 10 years old. Wait, wasn't that the dude that was the big guy that was like sucking down that flagon? No, no, no.
That's Tormund. Drinking breast milk all the time? That's different titty milk.
He didn't drink giant's titty milk. He just drank his weird mom's titty milk.
Okay. A lot of titty milk.
Go right on. Edmure Tully standing up and trying to go for king.
And Sansa's being like. Sit the fuck down, dude.
How about the dragon? How about the symbolism of the dragon turning its fire onto the throne? Yeah. Because that's what really killed his sonny.
So cheesy. That was sweet dragon this throne ripped us all apart i must destroy dragon fuel melts iron thrones i did feel bad about the drag like the dragon was pretty sad when when he saw danny died that made me feel that got me a little in the heart what does it say about us that that we relate most heavily to like the animals when they're in pain sociopaths sociopaths yeah oh no yeah.
Oh, no. Sociopaths skin cats when they're like 10 years old.
So they would not, they would be happy when the animals are in pain. So we're actually the world's first anti-sociopath podcast.
Yeah, I think we're just maladjusted adults. We're very poorly in touch with our feelings as human beings.
We just push other humans away because we're afraid of... We're Irish.
We're afraid of the closeness that they could bring.

Got it.

The other thing that's so dumb,

and that's what I gave up on, like,

the getting upset about it

because it's like,

the fact that they had the war council meeting

in episode four,

and then Jon talks to Arya in this episode

and was like,

what are you doing here?

She's like,

oh, I came to kill Cersei.

It's like,

why didn't you just tell them

you're going to kill Cersei

when they were, like, planning for a war? Yeah. They should have just let her go kill cersei hey i got a question about joe's like oh what are you doing here are you oh i was going to kill cersei but i got caught up dumb question do they have sports fancy me do they have sports in westeros yeah it was uh like the sword fighting like gladiator shit okay that's kind of cool but no like ball games Ball games with swords and jousting.
Okay. Yeah, that shit.
They could just throw like somebody's head at a sword and play like a baseball game. It's actually a good point.
Like this is what happens when you have a culture with no sports. Yeah.
No football. People just start dying with dragon fire.
Right. In ancient Roman times, it's called the bread and circus.
Right. As long as the people have their bread to eat and their circus to watch, they're never going overthrow the king so maybe bran will instill murder murder ball this was actually roger goodell's master plan he just was like let's make a show and at the end it'll be like we need football football needs football ray lewis will tell you when there's football games on dragons will not know their dragons will never nuke a city with their breath yes if there's a full slate of NFL games.
Would you rather have a Jon Tormund Ghost spinoff or a Arya? I'm done with Jon Snow. He's such a pussy.
Like, honestly. Yeah, you're the true king, dude.
Right. Just say it.
Just be like, hey, guess what? This is my throne. Yeah.
I own this dragon. Yes.
Like, the dragon's mine. i'm fucking targaryen blood but you you did take the most losses like all your everything yeah it was tough you took losses it's a tough night for a lot of losses because actually the only the only person who ended up winning was not a stark because like brand he's remember he's like i'm a three i'm a fucking three-eyed raven i'm not a stark i'm.
He became a fucking... He's like a furry.
He's like a precursor to furries. Also, it's kind of like Tyrion was a prisoner, and they're like, Tyrion, who do you think should be king? Yeah, like, let's just live to him.
And then he just roasted Bran. He's like, Bran in the Broken.
Like, that's kind of fucked up. Bran in the Broken is so funny.
They all stand, and he can't. It's like, Jesus Christ, guys.
Maybe a little bit bit something maybe also there are a lot of steps in king's landing ada approval really bad like they're gonna they're gonna get fined well they can they gotta rebuild it the city's gonna find them for all the lack of they're gonna make like an elon musk hyperloop with just uh catapults just either way throwing brand from city to city yeah people are mad that's it into a giant net that'd actually be a pretty sweet way to travel. Either way.
Just throwing Bran from city to city. Yeah, people are mad.

That's it.

Into a giant net.

That'd actually be a pretty sweet way to travel.

It would.

Just load yourself into a traduige and fire yourself into a giant net.

It'll be amazing that people, I think book readers, are trying to just speak this new

existence, but they think that George Martin finished the books and has been waiting for

the show to end and he's just going to drop the books.

This is the problem with the internet.

We get too into it and start doing these theories

and none of them turn out to be right.

I mean, he's got to finish the books eventually.

He should stick to sports.

No, he doesn't.

He's got good sports takes.

Yeah, he does.

And he wears those stupid hats.

Like he wants to be a train conductor or something.

All right.

Yeah, it looks like a train conductor

in a Dropkick Murphy's music video.

Yeah.

Love you guys.

It's Team Talk.

Crew week 19. Love you guys.
It's team time. Crit Week 19.

Love you guys.

Bye. I'm talking away.
I don't know what I am to say.

I'll say it anyway.

Today's another day to find you.

I'm dying away.

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me.

Take me on me Take me on

I'll be gone

Into your soul