NBA Champ Shawn Marion + We're Time Traveling

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Sean Marion, The Matrix, Trix, in studio. We taped it a couple weeks ago.
We also have PFT in Hong Kong. We do explain it to PFT, what happened in the Final Four.
We have a big mad from Auburn fans. Who's back of the week and a very special Monday reading.
Huge show. Crossing time zones, crossing days.
PFT's recording a day in advance. A little bit wild, but a fun show.
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Bye! Bye! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff Work to be done No place to hang out I love washing And then I can't leave all on the sun, oh no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher. It's Pardon My Take, presented by Bob Stool Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the cash app our new presenting sponsor today is Monday April 8th or if you're PFT who's currently in Hong Kong it already is April 8th hello from the future greetings from the future it's nice it's very sunny outside it's a little smoggy in the future so something to lookout for. But yeah, Hong Kong is a great city.
It's kind of weird podcasting on a Monday morning. But you know what? We grind.
We persevere. We overcome these adversities.
PFT, this is actually a throwback to when we first started part of my take over three years ago when we thought it would be a good idea to do the show on the morning of and try to release it at noon. And then after like two episodes, like this is the dumbest thing we've ever done.
So it was throwback throwback episode for you. Yeah, it usually takes my brain a good, you know, six, seven hours to start percolating to the point where I can give these takes off.
So it's kind of unusual, but my body still doesn't know what time it is. So my thinks that it's sunday night still um so i'm just very very confused by the time i get back to new york i'm not going to know which which way is up which way is down all right so we're going to do a few things we have sean marion coming up really good interview we also taped before pft left our monday reading hank's resume which is all timer before we do that we're going to go a little explain it back and forth because obviously Hank and I didn't watch the Rugby Sevens.
PFT didn't catch the Final Four, so we're going to explain it to each other and riff off that. And we'll start PFT with the Final Four.
Hank, by the way, is sick, so if he complains during this, that's why he's being a little bit of a B-word. If I complain? Yeah, you're being a B-word.
Oh, if I complain. Okay, so Hank's being a little bit of a B word.
But PFT, we went to the game on Saturday night. First Final Four in history to serve booze.
So shout out Minneapolis for that. All-time moment.
That's very Minnesotan. Oh, we got very lost inside the stadium.
One of the most confusing stadiums we've ever been to. But all-time moment to have booze.
And we got to our seats we had a guy who uh we almost had to fight because he he like was touching hank a lot and i had not have cheese he had nacho cheese all over himself and he would refuse to stop taking pictures of us um like literally every time out he'd stand up and just try to take a picture of us so say like hank is a very approachable touchable person you just just see him and you want to just put your hand on his shoulder. So I don't really have a problem with that guy harassing him.
Hank, you were kind of asking for it. Yeah, the provocation.
What was Hank wearing? What were you wearing? He was wearing an Auburn jersey with no shirt on underneath. Yeah, you were asking for it big it.
Big time. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
So first game. So the flash forward Virginia Auburn.
It was actually a very, very good game. And it was like essentially Auburn winning at halftime.
Virginia starts to dominate in the second half. Then with five minutes left, they're up 10 points.
And Virginia just stopped scoring. They were like, yeah, we're done.
We're only going to play 35 minutes this game. They stopped scoring until nine seconds left.
But we have two of the controversial things. You had the free throws at the end from Kyle guy after he makes a huge corner three.
And then you also have the double dribble that everyone is very mad about online right now. Yeah.
And it was wild inside the arena because we couldn't hear the whistle. So all that happened was the game, like the ball gets into the corner.
Kyle Guy throws up the shot. Good call on the foul, by the way.
It was definitely a foul. Bruce Pearl lost his mind, but we couldn't hear a whistle.
So we just couldn't figure out what was going on other than Bruce Pearl was losing his mind. It could have been that they won and he was losing his mind.
And everyone melted down, and credit to Kyle Guy, because hitting three free throws in that situation, that's the shit you do in your backyard, and you miss two out of three, and you're like, all right, redo. And you just keep doing that over and over until you hit all three.
He was money on all three. And Auburn, I would say that might be the worst possible way to lose a Final Four game of all time.
It's tough, yeah. The double dribble, that was something else.
And now you're going to have people talking about expanded review and replay and shit like that. That was a pretty obvious blown call.
Do you remember that video game way back in the day called Double Dribble? Yes. It always struck me as being very strange that they named their video game after like a violation in basketball just like the most boring play ever double dribble um but yeah the kyle guy shot the the free throws were very very clutch he is making a hard case for the jim nance tie player of the year i think yes if it's not kyle guy i think even if uva loses the national championship jim nance is going to find a way to get him that tie.
Well, it's actually funny you bring that up because Jim Nance, it's going to be difficult for Jim Nance because he usually gives it to a senior and there aren't, I don't think, I think only, I think Virginia only has one senior, an Aussie, Jack Salt, which is an all-time name. Texas Tech has a couple big-time seniors.
So I feel like you're leaning towards Texas Tech with that. But yeah, the double dri dribble so here's my problem with the double dribble and everyone double dribble twitter had a meltdown there's two things one is uh ty jerome he sold it so well that like everyone even in the arena it's one of those things where no one said anything in the moment it was afterwards that everyone kind of caught up up.
You know when Chris Webber traveled before the timeout? Yes. And he looked and stopped and was like, oh, what am I doing here? Ty Jerome did none of that.
He did not miss a beat. He literally just picked up the ball and started dribbling again.
And I think that's why everyone, including the refs and the fans, were just like, whatever, this is fine. This is fine.
This is part of the rule. And the other thing was, Auburn was trying to foul.
They grabbed Ty Jerome as the ball was going off his foot. So it's like, you could have called a foul there too.
And it's one of those situations where everyone's going to get mad and Auburn has every right to be mad. But at the end of the day, you really can't do much there because it could have been a foul call.
Ty Jerome did a good job of selling it. And then the call in the corner with Kyle Guy was the correct call.
So Auburn has a terrible loss. But at the end of the day, it's like that's kind of how it goes.
Like you can't play sliding doors. You can't be like you're now you're going to go back all the way to the first half and be like, well, this call should have gone another way and it would have changed everything.
No, you're right. The the double dribble itself was probably the smoothest double dribble I've ever seen in my life.
It's a good life lesson. Really.
It's just like if you act like you're supposed to be there, like nothing's a problem. If you're maybe at a restaurant or inside like somebody's like a building that you're not supposed to be in.
If you just act like it's totally cool, nine times out of ten, you'll get away with it. So just if you fuck up in life, don't look around and don't be that guy in the commercial that tells the refs that you committed a violation to give the ball to the other team.
Or the guy who like wears sweatpants and purple shoes to the dog show trying to be. Exactly.
Well, I would I would actually say the opposite of that, big big cat because i was so confident in my sweatpants look that i didn't think that i would get in trouble it's like oh if this guy's dressed like a 70 year old homeless person then he probably is supposed to be here because no one would intentionally go on public like that so that was the first game so a couple things that came out of that we have a big mad um i here's a of big mads I want to throw your way. Let's see.
The first one was, that's so fucking Auburn, it's unreal. We sold our soul to the devil for the kick six in 2013, and now life is just enough success to get emotionally invested, then brutal heartbreak.
Awesome point, because the kick six was such an insane play that I actually do believe in this.

There were enough Auburn fans that were sitting in their living room or on their knees in their living room praying and being like,

please, God, if you give us a touchdown here, we'll never ask for anything again.

And now this is what you get.

Now you get the never anything again and you get losses like this because you got the kick six. Exactly.
But i think if you were to ask auburn fans they would say it was extremely worth it for the kick six like in that moment if you had said you returned this kick for a touchdown you beat alabama but you're never going to win another national championship in any sport ever again they would all say absolutely let's do it yes uh all right this one this one is especially brutal because I think this happened to a decent amount of Auburn fans. This guy said, was in a wedding watching on my phone.
After that final three-point shot, I stopped watching a game on my phone because I was so excited. Neighbor texted my wife five minutes later saying, heartbreaking.
I still can't come to grips. We lost, so help me.
That Tumor's Corner got – everyone rushed Tumor's Corner.

And then as they slowly figured it out, there was a guy who poured a beer all over his head in the student section.

The Auburn student section inside the stadium went insane.

And that is especially – that makes the loss even worse.

The fact that people – you had that moment where you won, and then it was ripped right away from you.

So what did they do?

Did they have to climb up into the Oaks and take the toilet paper down? What's the protocol? I think so. Prematurely roll.
Yeah, I think so. I think something they have to, you know, you can't have toilet paper just laying there after a loss like that.
This person said, my Auburn friend just compared this to her ex-boyfriend, could get her close but never cross the finish line. That's just mean.
Come on.

The refs missing that double dribble was my fire fest.

That's relatable.

Everyone's got a personal fire fest.

And then the second that white guy steps the line for the final free throw with that little smirk, I knew we were screwed.

I blame all fundamental white basketball players for practicing free throws too much.

Kyle Guy is so funny.

So much.

Yes.

Yes, he's very good. I don't think – so when you said earlier, it's the situation you prepare for your entire life in the backyard.
I don't think that most players go through that exact scenario where they're like, three free throws. Let's see if I can do it.
But Kyle Guy definitely grew up practicing his free throws in that exact scenario. That's like...
That is the ultimate exciting peak of the game for a guy like Kyle Guy. Yeah, Indiana kid probably playing on like a dirt driveway with a hoop that's been there since 1945.
All right, last big mad. This is weird because it came from a Virginia fan.
I hope you all get carpal tunnel typing double dribble to your 17 combined followers to see, plus then your hands slowly deteriorate into terrible arthritis Plus, you can't Venmo your bookie the medium sum of money you lost on Auburn Moneyline. Plus, he comes and hits them with a hammer anyway.
That was from Chris Long, our friend. Yeah, very triggered, Chris.
Very triggered. But they won.
Yeah, you won, Chris. You won.
He was getting into wars online last night. It was awesome to watch.
Oh, by the way, PFT, you probably already know this, but Baylor just went up with three seconds left. Baylor's up.
I was about to say Baylor's up with three seconds left. Well, no, who won? Baylor wins.
Okay, all right. Baylor wins.
Congrats to the ladies. This is going to be awesome if you got it to last's a lot.
All right. Next game.
There's only a couple things I wrote down. Texas Tech's defense is insane, which it is.
Matt Mooney, the white guy from Texas Tech, had a third of their points. Yeah.
Texas Tech's defense, it really is. If you stop moving the ball for one second, they just are up your ass.
They're the annoying guys when you're playing pickup who just full court press, and they can strip any time you lower the ball past your chest. And it's just insane how active they are.
And then here's the big thing, PFT, that anyone who's watching probably didn't realize. Very important moment inside the stadium.
They showed Kirk cousins.

Okay.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback home crowd.

Michigan state had more fans in the studio in the,

in the entire stadium than anywhere else.

It was the most like,

like,

like,

like cheers and kind of like,

then they show Patrick Mahomes and the place fucking erupted. And that was it right there.
Interesting quarterbacks that are good. And they don't clap hard for average quarterbacks.
They're kind of lame. Kind of strange.
So, yeah, Kirk Cousins also gave the pregame speech, which was perfectly Kirk Cousins. It didn't motivate a single person.
And I honestly don't think, like, Michigan State, like, didn't lose the game as much as texas tech was just so fucking good yeah um i would love to hear that kirk cousin speech is it available on the internet yes i retweeted it last night it is uh positively electric you know we'll put it in the show right here tomorrow night there's gonna be a moment in the game where emotion may not be going our way. And mentally, it may not be going our way.
Physically, it may not be going our way. Put your flag in the ground.
Look each other in the eye and say, choose to be a tough person. Because tough times don't last, but tough people do.
Choose to be tough. And you guys will come out victorious.
Not only tomorrow night, but the next one after that. All right? I'm just throwing you there.
And that was electric. I feel like Kirk Cousins is the kind of guy that he, like, overnight to give himself pump-up speeches, he just listens to Joel Osteen podcast, and he wakes up in the morning.
He's like, okay, I'm ready to go again, Kirk. Time to make a big stack of money and not do shit again.
Yeah, pretty much. So that was, game texas tech all credit texas tech that their team is awesome michigan state like like i said i don't even think michigan state like choked or anything because they actually had a nice comeback there it's just texas tech was i mean matt mooney was on fire and their defense was insane so you just kind of like you kind of put your hands up you're like shit that just happens i always think it's just really funny when when uh members of the media like insult the coaches to their face getting ready for the game uh and that's the really the storyline going into this game is that it's going to be boring which is always that's always electric i'm i'm actually excited to watch how boring this game's going to be i i think texas tech is going to win here's Here's a little tip for CBS.
They need to do a live interview in the first half where Zion announces that he's going pro. Something like that.
Oh, yeah. Or maybe have Zion.
You know what they should actually do is someone should pay Zion, which is actually kind of hot in the streets right now. There's people paying Zion's family.
Coach K, we're watching you. And by the wayael avanetti like i'm pretty sure he just makes shit up but he if he makes shit up about duke i will always take it as fact that i'm just gonna admit that right now uh but if they they paid zion to announce that he's staying at duke how about that and just and just get everyone to tune in and be like what how'd this happen and then maybe in the second half be like just kidding not i'm going to the nba and people have to keep tuning in and be like actually he's gonna he's gonna think about it over halftime and he'll make an announcement in the second half the double psych yeah that would definitely get people to stay in tune they should have avenati do a press conference from right outside the stadium like on the steps yeah that's what that's what should be going on because like i can't't get enough of Michael Avenatti just discovering that college basketball might be dirty.
That's my favorite part of this, this whole wrinkle in the timeline is that Avenatti thinks that he's breaking huge, huge news by saying that like Arizona may have paid a player. It's like, yeah, dude, I got Google too.
We all see Sean Miller's face and how much he sweats. That's a guy who pays people.
It's not that hard. Can you imagine how much Sean Miller would sweat under FBI interrogation? Yeah.
In, like, that room with a single light bulb? He would turn into a puddle. Yeah, he would be a big puddle.
He would just be a puddle. He and Bruce Pearl together could, like, create its own little pond.
Yeah. No, if you put Bruce Pearl and Sean Miller into an Olympic empty swimming pool and just gave him like, I don't know, they seem like they're big Thai bow guys.
If you just had them do like one Thai bow routine, the entire thing would fill up in about 30 minutes. Have them do Thai bow and then at the end just ask them for their call log on their cell phone and boom.
Yeah, and then boom, they float to the surface because there's so much fucking salt water in there now um all right so that's that's uh the final four pft you're in hong kong like we said give us an update tell us what happened in the rugby tournament tell us how the 16 hour flight went give us give it give us all all of it okay so 16 hours turns out is a long time to do anything that's my big takeaway number one i've watched four movies and I was like, this is awesome. My flight's almost over.
And I looked over at the clock and I still had like 11 more hours left in a plane. So that was kind of a come to Jesus moment.
Here's a fun fact. We didn't go over the Pacific Ocean.
We flew north south. So I flew over the North Pole, said what's up to Santa.
And and somehow i ended up south so i don't know how that works if if the earth's actually round you would think that i would have flown east west but i don't know i'm not a geography guy by the way pft when you were in the air hank and i had uh many laughs where you just turned to each other for the entire 16 hours and be like like pft still got 10 hours to go we were like right before we went to, we're like, yeah, PFT is still in the air for another five hours. We've lived a whole day and he's still in the air.
Yeah, it was, it was weird. I'll be honest with you.
I've never sat down that long for, yeah, I think like the longest I've ever been on a plane has been like six or seven hours in the past. This was, this was something else.
So I'm really not looking forward to getting back on a plane and doing it all again in about five hours how good was that refresh when you landed pft uh it was great the fart after i landed was an all-timer like this was better than sex uh the fart that i let out it was he asked about it was such sweet release he asked about the twitter refresh but the fart sounded good yeah the fart was better than the twitter refresh that's on that was the best part of the trip um and then i landed and saw that you guys snuck in george kittle on friday's part of my take so that was nice i listened to him um pretty worried about my job he's pretty good yeah well no in his defense he didn't hope for your death i asked for his hottest take and his hottest take was that you were going to die so that is quite a hot take if you have to rate it we're in the prediction game so i i can respect that if he's going to be on a sports podcast he has to be able to make some bold takes so you do you george but i'm a lot of bitch so uh tell us the thing that we all have been waiting to hear about the rugby we all did we win yeah you're very excited about this so i'll just get started with my who's back of the week my who's back of the the week is USA Rugby because we are still in first place in the world. So we did not win.
We came in. Well, we're in first overall.
So we're top of the table. We're number one.
Fiji's number two. Excellent showing from the lads this weekend.
Very, very strong unit out there. No, we got third.
But what's important to what's, what's important to remember is that we're in first place though. So we finished third, got that third place in the cup trophy bracket.
And so, yeah, we were still in first place domination. So you flew 16 hours to not even see a championship game.
That's the story of my life, man. You know what? It's not about, it's not about the result.
It's about the journey. It's about the process and had I had a great time.
Here's why this is actually better than a first-place finish, because we're missing arguably our two best players. So Perry Baker's out.
Danny Barrett's out. Also, shout-out Danny.
Got to hang out with him yesterday at the game. So two of our best players are out, and we still finished in third place.
That's pretty good. That sounds like excuses to me.
That's weird. No, so it's pretty.
I don't know why you guys don't really understand the scoring system of rugby. It's pretty easy.
We went one and two in group play. And then we won our first elimination game against New Zealand.
So we ended up going, I think, three and three. But we finished in third place.
It was great. That's 2-3, but yeah, okay, that works.

But yeah, no, that sounds like a great time.

It's great that we're still in first by finishing third.

That makes total sense.

Who doesn't finish third and go under 500 and still maintain first place?

But we won the trophy anyway a couple weeks ago.

Yeah, we're good.

Top of the table, yeah. They can never take that cup away from us.
All right. Do you have any other who's backs? No, that's really my only one.
I just want to say, like, yeah, that's just one. Okay.
What, Hank? Hank's in a little pissy mood today. I noticed that you're sick.
You're sharing headphones with Big Cat. You guys are not working out for you.
You just project all of your negative feelings and things on me when I don't do anything. I just sit here in silence with Big Cat.
That's a good segue. That's a good segue, PFT, because my Who's Back is Hank's bad mood.
So Hank is sick. It also is Who's Back conspiracy theory, Hank.
He's convinced that the hotel room, the hotel room itself, has made him sick. The room? The colors of the wall? Here's what I know.
The whole vibe in there? I was in perfect health and condition when I arrived on Thursday. Fully rested.
Fully hydrated. Ready to go.
No issues whatsoever. I woke up on Friday, sneezed maybe 35 times in a row.
I've had a runny nose and I have not felt well for the last two days. So the only thing that, you know, the only conclusion that you can come to is that it's the hotel room.
You know, Hank, every time somebody gets sick, it has to start at some point, right? Like people just get sick sometimes. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
Like, oh, Hank, you know what you should do? We should get Hank in a neti pot. That's where it started.

Oh, Hank would love a neti pot.

He also is the bad mood Hank is because I kicked his ass in bowling on Saturday night,

and he has not been the same since.

He couldn't figure out how I was kicking his ass in bowling.

No comment.

No comment.

No comment. All right, my other who's back is I feel like this isn't even a who's back.
We just need to talk about it. Paul Pierce is back, and Dwayne Wade is also back because Paul Pierce said that he's better than Dwayne Wade, and then the internet roasted Paul Pierce.
And I have two comments on it. One is Paul Pierce made the ultimate error where Paul Pierce is the perfect guy that if he just kind of stays under the radar, everyone will say, hey, you know who's better than people give him credit for? Paul Pierce.
But when he says he's like actively says he's better than someone, people will roast him. And then the other part of it is I'm so fucking sick of Dwayne Wade's retirement tour.
Like this is a little much. It's a little much.
He's Dwayne Wade. This is year three, right? He's been retiring for three years.
Yes. It's a little much.
Yeah, come on. It is.
It is. We get it, Dwayne Wade.
Yeah, I think at the height of Paul Pierce's career, he was still like Dwayne Wade with arthritis. That was his seal.
Yeah, okay, Hank, okay. No, I mean, he was never the fastest guy on the court.
He was never going to jam you through the mantle of the earth he was always just like a good shooter got good separation um like a very very good player but once you start comparing yourself to somebody that's like so much noticeably better than you um that's why i didn't go as thor so this weekend is like a big costume party in hong kong and um one of the lights came up our school guys said you should go dress as thor and i was like i can't do that because i'm so much worse looking than the actual thor that it'll just it'll be a huge self-own if i even try to look like him so that's what paul pierce is doing by comparing himself to duane wade right and he is the perfect case of a guy that like if he just doesn't say this stuff everyone will say hey you know who's better than people said thought gave him credit for paul pierce like that's a perfect place to be in life where people say hey you know he was kind of underrated like we don't give him enough credit but then when you actively try to get more credit people will fucking just trash you and now you've done the reverse and everyone's like paul pierce was overrated yeah fall back bro yeah uh hank who's your who's back uh my who's back of the week is country trap yes so Yes. So we talked about it on the show on Sunday.
We said we got to do something to help out Lil Nas, the kid with the Old Town Road song, help him get on Billboard. And lo and behold, it worked.
He's now the number one artist. Our long national nightmare is over.
Yeah, we did it. Thanks to us.
Shout out to us. All I'm saying is we talked about it on the show, and now he's number one and number three on the charts.
He put out a remix with some country singer or whatever. I don't know how much that had to do with it.
But, yeah, Country Trap is back, and it's going to stay around for a while. Country Trap is back.
All right, so let's do our – that song, by the way, is so fire. I can't stop listening to it.
I can't stop listening to it. Will they play it in Hong Kong PFT? what does it mean pft oh yeah they're playing it what does it mean though hank everyone's talking about little nosex what does horses in the back mean like what is the horse is he talking about like his his bitches no he's talking about like a ranch it's got horses in the back actual the song is just actually about horses also.
That's pretty cool, too. I also keep thinking that he's taking his horses to a hotel.
Because when you say Old Town Road really fast, I just think he's taking horses to a hotel, which is fucking cool. That'd be awesome to just take my horse into a hotel room.
That takes on a new meaning, though. Right.
Take my horse to the hotel. Hotel room.
Yeah, hotel room. Right.
Now it's different. Now we're talking BCLity, baby.
You're just pony country trap i think retroactively you have to say yes i'd agree so i would agree um all right let's do our interview with sean marion before that a quick word from a couple of our sponsors ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has Ariat Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when

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Okay, here he is, Sean Marion.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

He's actually a business partner of ours.

He also is an NBA champion, four-time All-Star.

It is the Matrix.

Trix, Sean Marion, thank you for joining us.

What's up, man?

How you doing?

We're doing great. I asked you beforehand, you have three phones.
You popped out three phones when we were sitting here. Yeah.
So explain what the three phones are for. Family, friends, and business.
Okay, and I'm in the business phone? Right now, yes. What do you have to do to cross over into the friends? I mean- Friend zone.
I think you kind of want the business phone. Okay, so I'm good in the business phone.
The friends one, you can ignore texts if you I don't feel like that Business is like that's money I really don't ignore texts I'm not that person If you text me I try to hit you back I think it's so disrespectful when somebody sends a message to you Now I know everything is kind of a timely matter And if you're busy you can't respond to people Or something like that But I think when somebody sends sending you a message and you don't respond in a fashionably manner, I think it's kind of disrespectful. Dana White had three phones too, right? Yeah, he did.
But he doesn't have friends, so what's the third one for? I don't know. That was his burner phone.
So we're in the business. I don't take my family phone everywhere I go, though, all the time.
So sometimes I'm out doing't – because I know nobody calling me from my family. Do you always have your business phone? Yes.
Okay, perfect. So I'm in the right phone.
So we are in business together. We own the breakers.
No, you know, I'm not an athlete anymore. I'm a father first, and I'm a businessman.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, like, you know, business is all the time. How are the breakers doing? We know because we're also owners, but we want to test to make sure you knew how they're doing.
We're doing – I think we had an okay season. I think we could have been better.
We had a season's over? Yeah. All right.
I feel like we underachieved this year. I felt like we had a good enough team to make the postseason this year.
We did not? Yeah. Fuck.
I'm getting all this information now. Well, you know, I talked to Matt, you know what I'm saying? So I think, you know, I got to represent the breakers too.
Yes. Hell yeah.
He made sure I had, I was going to wear a hat anyway. He was like, make sure you wear a hat.
I'm like, dude, come on now. You know, I know about all the advertising and probably the placement.
But with that being said, I just feel like we should have made the postseason. I was kind of pissed off we didn't.
We had such a talented team and team, and I feel like we didn't get the most out of all our players this year. And then I think Matt ended up sliding into more of a hands-on role with the coaching and orchestrating some stuff a little bit over halfway through the season.
He felt like he needed to step in and be around a little bit more when it comes to just the basketball side, not just the business side, which is great for us as you know yeah as we know lines of pockets yeah yeah so so so uh you know i got a chance to to see something and it was very interesting i watched i'm watching i'm watching the the kind of like the turnover right now in new zealand because you know it's kind of it's kind of a little bit behind times there you know and um and uh i uh i got a chance to watch It's the first game there this season, and I got a chance to go over and watch us play in Melbourne. And you can see the night and day difference over there.
You know what I'm saying? Because that's more of a basketball country. We're more of a – Right.
Game of Thrones. Yeah.
Lord of the Rings. A couple little tips that I've just been bouncing around to improve the breakers a little bit.
One, just try to get all the high school players to be like, hey, come over, play professionally in New Zealand for a year instead of going to college and playing for free. So you get all the kids that want to get paid want to wet the beak a little bit.
Two, we should have celebrity lookalikes that are courtside on the first row. So we've got a dude that looks like Spike Lee that's right there yelling at all the players.
Drake. We got a Jack Nicholson guy that's sitting right next to the bitches talking shit.
Three, you should just play. Oh, no.
Why not? I'll retire for a reason. Right, but you could probably – do you think you'd get out there and dominate? No.
Really? I will give them guys credit. You know what I'm saying? Don't slack on the NBL.
I think them guys are professionals. I'm not saying all of them are top players, but there are some guys in there that can go out there and probably hold their own in the NBA with no problems at all.
Do you still play? Leisurely? Yeah. I play pick up here.
How many times a week do you dunk? Do I what? Dunk. Man, I ain't dunked in a minute.
I dunk once last week. I got to be feeling really good.
I got to be on a lot of drugs. Yeah, yeah.
Feeling, yeah, like get fly. Yeah, exactly.
You're actually the perfect person to ask this. Is it better to be wet from three or to just dunk on somebody? Oh, I mean, it just depends.
I feel like, I mean, early when I was playing, dunk on somebody. Yeah, yeah.
But what about being real wet? Yeah, real wet. Wet from the three-pointers.
Yes, absolutely. All right, so I want to talk about your – you have a fascinating career because you were all over the place.
You won with the Mavs. You kind of revolutionized basketball with the Suns.
But I want to start at the beginning. McDonald's All-American and then going to a Division II school.
What happened there? And then you obviously transfer to UNLV, but I can't imagine there are many people who have had that path. So, yeah, I remember mentioning I didn't play in the game.
So that's the thing, though. So me and my boys, we were trying to dissect and see what guys actually – didn't play in that McDonald's High School All-American game.
Right. And what kind of careers they had and how far did they go in the crowd.
So wait, what year was it? I'll look it up right now. So, I mean, I'm just overall.
Overall, period. They didn't go – there wasn't a McDonald's All-American projected.
Because McDonald's All-Americans that play in a game are projected to be stars. Right, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what stars? Go to these prominent but dominant schools and they have luxurious careers.
A lot of them don't pan out. A lot of McDonald's Americans don't pan out and do nothing.
Some of them don't even go to the pros. But that was the format that everybody was kind of thinking about and saying because you see them throwing the highlights up there all the time.
They're showing it on TV. ESPN Classics now.
They're showing the games and showing stuff. I was wondering but I didn't.
I went to junior college for two years and then I transferred to UNLV for a year. I know a couple guys.
I know a few guys. Quite a few guys that did go junior college route to the pros.
Did you have offers from other Division I places, I would assume? Yes. Right before you went to junior college.
Actually, I wanted to go to North Carolina. Okay.
I really did. But Dean Smith retired after my second year in junior college.
So he had a scholarship available, but he ended up retiring before I got there. So I was like, am I going? So you're like, I'm not playing for Brad Dwayne.
I wasn't going. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to go somewhere warm.
Yes. I went west coast.
Yeah. Look at your finger.
What's up with your finger? Your pinky? Man, it's been like that, man. It's one of my trademarks.
It's like Booger McFarlane. Have you ever thought about just getting it popped back into place? You can't.
Because they can do that. You can't.
I can hold it straight, but you can't. I have to get a pin put in it in order to go back.
And then it won't guarantee it's going to stay because if I'm still playing, if they ever get hit, it'll go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shit. Battle wounds, baby.
Come on, man. Yeah, that actually is a badass thing.
So you go UNLV to the draft. You were actually planning on staying for another year, but you end up, you know, everyone's okay.
Well, I could have came out of junior college. I was academic, All-American.
I was running a player of the year. So, like, yeah, I could have came out of junior college.
But I was like, you know what? I want to go experience D1 one year. What was it like playing in Vegas? Was it like a lot of distractions? Actually, no, man.
It was pretty easy, actually. I think when you think about Vegas, think about the Strip, think about casinos and all that stuff.
But, you know, it was pretty like any other school. Once you get on campus, you get to campus life.
When you're playing a sport, you're into it. And then once you decide on if you're going to try to come out and go pro, that's when all the other stuff dies.
A little fun fact about – what's the name of the basketball arena there? Thomas the Mac. Yeah, so fun fact about that.
One time we were trying to go in to see Floyd Mayweather's celebrity basketball game. We were too high, and we just walked around the building like six times, and we couldn't find the entrance.
And they were like, no, it's across the street and under a tunnel to get inside. Did you ever have to go through that tunnel? Yes, we did, but it depends, though.
So they remodeled it. So they've been remodeled since I've been in the school there.
That's why I got confused. So they have an add-on on the backside of it as well.
So they added the women's part on it as well, too. So they done some remodeling over there.
It's hot out there. It was like late August.
It was hot. It was really hot.
It's not a good experience for us. So the Suns.
The seven seconds or less Suns are one of my favorite teams of all time. When Mike D'Antoni showed up, were you like, what the hell? Why is he making us shoot so fast? Why is he making us run so fast? It obviously completely kind of changed.
Basketball today looks a lot like what you guys were doing and not what happened before that. Well, you know, it's an interesting story you say that because he was actually assistant coach then.
Right. So he was kind of brought in.
You know how the pattern works sometimes. The guy is brought in and sooner or later he's going to be the coach.
He's just mad at it. They groom him a little bit before they don't want to.
Sometimes they don't want to just give the keys to the house to him. You know what I'm saying? So let him groom him for a year or so and then give him keys over to the house.
But, I mean, I love D'Antoni. I always shot extra.
He was one of the coaches I actually worked with a lot before he got the head coaching job. You know what I'm saying? Because once you become head coaching job, you don't really do the stuff.
All the assistant coaches do the stuff that you were doing before. Right.
And the workout, individual workouts and shooting and stuff like that. But, you know, he just – he had a vision.
He had a mindset. And it was basically a lot of it basically was kind of – it was up to me, I guess, to decide on.
He's like, look, I need you to play power forward, basically. And I was like, really? I mean, I wasn't too enthusiastic about doing it at first because, you know, I mean, I'm 230 and 6'7".
The power forward at the time was the most dominant position in the league. You know, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, everybody, it was the most dominant position in the league.
So, you know, you got a small 6'7", 230-pound skinny boy trying to go up against these big guys. But I was like, okay, he said we can do this and you can do this and we can win.
And now you would, in today's NBA, you're a center. Easy.
I mean. Like, that's how it's kind of changed since the seven seconds or less.
You're like a supermax player right now. Yeah, you would have made so much money.
Good damn. But that's what I'm saying.
You think about the game now. Look at the evolution of the game now.
How much talent the bigs have now. A lot of bigs now are bringing the ball up the court.
Everybody's shooting threes now. Because they think it's speeding the game up.
It's kind of interesting when you sit there and you just look at it like, damn, look how good. Now the most dominant position in the league is the point guard, the guards.
The guards are the most dominant by far, but the bigs are so talented now. And it's just like, man, you know, it's like, wow, you know, you can't deny them.
Do you ever think about how, like, you guys kind of started that? Because it was, you know, that was, you know, I'm thinking about the Pistons versus Lakers final, which was terrible. And the games were played in the 70s and 80s.
It was a physical game, man. But you guys come along and start playing super fast, maybe not a lot of defense.
That must have been fun, by the way. But we did play defense.
That's a sad. A little bit.
It got overshadowed because we were scoring so much. Okay.
That's a good way to spin it. It's just like Golden State right now.
So they go on scoring runs that's crazy. No, I don't think so.
I mean, Steve Nash, come on. Okay, you can compare and contrast all you want.
You play defense. I mean, we all play defense.
Amari played defense. We all play defense.
I think, especially some guys horrible individual defenders, but great team defenders. Yeah.
Explain that. That's another great way to explain it.
No, explain that because I actually love that point. That's a different mindset, though.
Like, you know, just take Steve. Steve was a great – he wasn't the best on-ball defender, but he's a great team defender.
So he knew exactly where our concepts was and how to help make it easier for our team to help him guard. Because it's like me guarding.
Most of the philosophies when it comes to a good defense and the defensive teams, the mindset is I'm going to guard my man and half of your man. Okay.
So that means you automatically got another man guarding you because if you guarding your man and half of your man now, so it equals another man. So you got help.
Right. And you develop that trust.
And that's how you become solid in defense. And when we got stopped, we needed to.
We had good enough defenders that, you know what I'm saying, was able to, you know what I'm saying, do a lot of different things. And, of course, there's ways you can hide guys.
You know what I'm saying? And especially when you got a guy who's probably not a big scorer and they don't give the ball to him much. So you probably try to put a lesser defender on him.
And especially if he's a main guy that scores a lot and do a lot of things on the offensive end, well, you can hide him on there. You see a lot of teams doing it.
James Harden does a lot right now because he extends so much energy on defense that he's not guarding his position or main scorer because it's just too much on him. You guys played in a couple of my favorite NBA playoff series of all time, the ones against the Spurs okay when it was sun spurs and i remember distinctly that when robert or you're like hip check steve nash yeah into the bench it was almost like blows like it was almost like a full-on brawl at that point i mean it was it was uh it was it was a hard foul and uh you know it was messed up how it happened but you know um everybody so everybody speculated thinking that was the year we should have won the championship went and won the championship.
I don't. Really? No.
What year was the team better? The year after that. Okay.
We lost in the – we went first. We went seven games against the Lakers.
We had swept the Lakers for the regular season. But we lost the last game of the season because we wanted to play them in the first round.
And I was like, we ended up going – Kobe, we ended up going seven games. We won seven games against them, but then we went seven games against the Clippers that year.
They was really good with Sam Cassell, Eldon Brandt, Chris Kamen, and then we ended up losing six games against Dallas. And the only reason we lost, I would say, that was the tiredest I'd ever been throughout my career.
I was physically, mentally drained because I was going from Sam Cassell to Eldon Brandt and Chris Kamen from Kobe to Lamar to Ron Tess, you know, to all these different guys. Then I had to go against Dirk.
And then, man, my body, I was shut. I was tired.
I was dead tired. And we didn't use our bench at all.
We was playing so many minutes, dude. Like, it was nuts.
That's fascinating to me that you elected to take on Kobe and the Lakers in the first round of the playoffs. Yeah, that's why a lot of teams do that.
I mean, to be honest with you, they think the matchup is better. They think we beat them three times this year, we're going to lose it four.
If we lose this game, they try to match up against a team that they can guarantee win. They don't guarantee in the postseason.
You just don't know. Injuries happen, things happen.
And even though you're playing the same team, it's hard to be a team, you know what I'm saying, seven times. Right.
I think of all the major league sports, you know, NBA championships are probably one of the hardest ones to win. Yeah.
Because the adjustments that come to the game are insane. Was it more tiring to play that style of basketball that you played on the Suns? Or was it more fun because, you know, you'd get the ball down court, you'd shoot it quick, and then you'd just get back? I mean, I think all of it is miles on your body, man, regardless of how you're doing it.
But, you know, for me it was double because I had bigger guys leaning on me. You know, I think people don't understand the physical aspects of the game there.
When you have to guard a bigger guy, it wears and tears on you. It slowly but surely will break you down.

But I was able

to use my quickness and my athleticism to a certain

degree. I held my own against

all those big guys very strong, but

at the end of the day, sooner or later,

you do break down. People don't understand

that. Game of basketball,

my agent,

rest in peace, Dan Fagan,

he loved his terminology. He loved to say

you're like a car.

Sooner or later, the starter might

Thank you. We are, we like, my agent, rest in peace, Dan Fagan, he loved his terminology.
He loved to say, you know, you're like a car. Sooner or later, the starter might stop working.
The brakes go out. You know what I'm saying? You get a flat tire.
So, like, athletes are like cars. We assume you're going to break down.
Right. And, you know, you can get it fixed.
You know what I'm saying? You know, you get a little fixed. But, you know, once you get it fixed, sometimes it never starts the same way.
It quite started when you had it brand new. You know what I'm saying? Right.
So certainly you break down. What would you do later in your career to get it fixed up? Like, what would you do to change? Well, I try to maintain as much as I can.
You know, I instead of me you know what I'm saying, taking the longer break off in the season, you have to, the older you get, you have to continually stay in shape. You can't really get out of shape because it's that much harder to get your body going and get in shape.
But you still got to mind to how you're doing and what you do exactly. But, I mean, listen, everybody's different to a certain degree, and I know what I need to do to keep myself in shape and in tune.
So I just try to follow my regimen and keep at it. Did you ever think that you were able to score more in the NBA because everyone was like, man, this guy can't shoot the way his shot goes so fucking ugly? Not at all.
That's funny. I mean, it's the truth.
I think it's the best one. Every time you made a shot, I was like, holy shit.
It's the best one ever. I would beat the shit out of everybody.
You know what I'm saying? I mean, I would bust everybody ass. Did anyone try to fix your shot? Never.
Never. I mean, it worked, so there's no real fixing.

It just looked ugly. You're like the Jim Furyk of basketball.

It's unorthodox, but you can shoot the lights out.

But you never had a coach that thought that he was smarter than you that was like,

okay, bring your elbow in, balance eyes, elbow, follow through.

Hell no.

You know why?

Because they couldn't shoot either.

What the fuck are you going to tell me what to do?

But look, you know what's funny, though?

It was really funny, though.

Like, can you name me two guys in the league that actually shoot the same?

Yeah, probably not.

Thank you. What the fuck are you going to tell me what to do? But look, you know what's funny, though? It was really funny, though.
Like, can you name me two guys in the league that actually shoot the same?

Yeah, probably not.

You're right.

Everyone's got their own little quirks and intricacies.

No, no.

Yeah, I mean, LeBron doesn't even shoot the same free throws over

from fucking one free throw to the next.

He does a different thing.

But the fact is that everybody got this image of a picture-perfect jump shot. It's not yours.
It's not yours either, though. Well, that's true.
Who's the same? It's not. As long as it works.
If it's broke, don't fix it. That's true.
If it's not broke, don't fix it. Who is the most difficult big man that you were ever asked to guard? For full game, probably.
I mean, all of them was hard, though. In different ways, obviously Dirk guarding him was different.
Well, Dirk was a little different because Dirk don't really post up. Dirk, I had to make him feel uncomfortable.
That's my guy, you know what I'm saying? And I try to run him, too, because I was faster than he was. But once he got the ball and he got to the sweet spot, and that custom fadeaway, there's no way I'm blocking it.
Nobody can guard that. No, I'm not blocking it.
So I just had to make him a little uncomfortable, as off-balance as possible, and not let him get into a groove. But it's hard.
Like you said, you know, I mean, he does have a height advantage on me. So, like, I mean, like, just.
Who would win one-on-one? You guys used to play one-on-one all the time, right? Oh, we hasn't. I mean, during the championship year, yeah, we played one-on-one.
It was great games. Who would win? I mean, we both won.
That sounds like a jerk. Who would win more? That sounds like a jerk.
No. No.
It sounded like a jerk. You paused.
If you played ten times, who would win the majority of the time? No, I think we was about half and a half. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, why is that? Because if you won more, you would say, I won. You would say, I kicked his ass.
Yeah, and if you didn't, because you lost, you're like, oh, it's 50-50. I'm keeping it 100.
You actually, let me just go. Okay, you played 100 times, you hit 50-50? No, we didn't play that much.
We only played in the postseason. Okay.
And we only played because it was certain matchups that we needed to do. And we ain't going that much because we got a long season.
Yeah. It's too much work.
Okay. We exert the games than you do like that.
But no, we spent a lot of time. But when we played, especially when we played teams that he may have to match up on a small forward, that's when we played one-on-one.
And it helped to get him because Dirk was actually a great defender for us in the championship run. People like, but like I said, it's not all about individual defense, but team defense.
He was amazing. Did you ever learn any German to talk shit to him when you were playing? No, he'll say something occasionally, but like, no, Dirk is a comedian himself, though, man.
You know, he's a great guy, man. And, you know, we got, he's awesome, man.
One more can I say, he's an awesome guy. That championship run with the Mavs in that NBA Finals, you basically

shut down LeBron.

I wanted to talk about that game four

that somehow people just kind of forget.

But I'm going to throw it out there. LeBron had eight points.

Eight points in that game four.

Did you feel it that he was not

part of the game? That he wasn't into the game?

Because he was basically eliminated in that

game. And you did hold him.

I wrote it down. 24 points,

20 points, 17, 8,

17, 21. I mean, that's LeBron right at the height of his powers, scoring less than 25 points a game.
And you're playing him one-on-one. So, look, you know, you did this, that.
You should actually go back and watch the game. And actually ask yourself how many minutes did I actually guard LeBron? Okay, don't do this.
Please just tell us that you shut down LeBron. You're the LeBron stopper.
Don't do this. No, I'm going to give my guys credit because that was a team championship, and I'm going to tell you why.
I'm just going to tell you. So the first two games of the series, I was guarding LeBron heavily pretty much.
You know what I'm saying? 24 and 20 points. That's pretty damn good.
So me, first two, but it was between me, Deshaun Stevenson, and J. Kidd to a certain degree.
But I went to guarding D. Wade more after that.
I think it was more actually more of some of the second game going into the third game because D. Wade had a post-up game.
He was able to post up our guards with no problem. Okay.
So I went to guarding him more, and everybody else guarded LeBron. Okay, but so – So I started on him, but I wouldn't on him long.
Could you sense, though, because this is obviously LeBron before he wins a championship, and the narrative was he can't win the big one and all that bullshit. Could you sense that there was a little doubt in his eye, especially a game – I mean, the fact he scored eight points in a finals game, I would imagine that he wasn't locked in the LeBron that you've seen in the last five years.
I mean, we had a great game plan, man. You know, we knew exactly what, you know, everybody do scouting reports.
You know what the scouting reports are. You know, we know what tendencies are and what guys like to do, don't do from everybody in the league.
We get those. We got, they got all these plus minus and shit.
Yeah. It's like, look, they tell you exactly if somebody is going right 75% of the time or if they're going and what the percentage is they're going left over 75% of the time.
They tell you what exactly the percentages are. So if he's going left, he's going to do this over nine out of ten times.
If he's going right, he's going to do this nine out of ten times. So what? We're going to force him to where we want him to go.
Right. Based off of that.
And then over a full season or two years or whatever, the research they do on that stuff is pretty accurate pretty accurate right so you get that guy doing what you want to do and you understand that and that's the thing about being a veteran team we know our game plan we know our principles coaching coaching them we had a coach on the court and a coach off the court jkid was our own on the court coach and carlisle was our coach off the court the subbing and stuff he did was so immaculate how they do it and how we prepare for every team we played against, dude. Like, man, we could have beaten anybody that year.
Were you guys mad that LeBron made fun of Dirk for having the flu? I don't care about that shit. Yeah, a little bit? No.
That was kind of fucked up. Yeah.
I mean, listen, everybody got shits and giggles all over the place. Do you think we blow stuff out of proportion too much, like the media? All the time.
Yeah. The cramp game that he had, you remember that? Yeah, soft.
I think sometimes y'all sugarcoat stuff, and y'all don't know the truth, so y'all try to come up with y'all truth. Yeah, but that's a lot of fun.
It's fun. Have you tried doing it? Oh, sometimes I do.
But for the most part, I try to keep it 100, though. I'm always been a 100 guy.
You ask me something, I try to tell you the exact 100. That's all I've been.
When I do interviews from games for my whole career, I'm like, that's how I feel. You know what I'm saying? You can like it, you don't like it.
You saying you can like it you don't like it you know i'm me you know i'm not changing for just because of tvs or cameras in front of me i don't do shit for for no attention i'm doing it that's who i am so keep it 100 is lebron a bad teammate no but no now keep it 80 i'm being i mean like you know there's there's certain things about a lot of plays I don't like,

and then there's certain things I do like, but he's not a bad teammate.

Did he ever try to make you read a book?

No, no.

He never had like team book day where he ended up reading it.

There are a lot of life lessons you can take out of this.

No, that came before some other shit.

He wasn't doing that when I was in Cleveland.

What cities, besides obviously L.A. and Miami,

what cities should we look out for when guys are on the road

and we're like, all right, they probably had a late night.

We can bet against them.

I mean, listen, all fairness aside,

the only cities that really don't have a nightlife is what's –

but you can find something.

If you really want to find something, you can find something.

You can find something.

Like Milwaukee and Utah.

I mean, Milwaukee's 45 minutes away from Chicago. Yep, yep, yeah.
So that's true. Oklahoma City, maybe? Oh, I mean, yeah.
You know what? I went out. I did go out in Oklahoma, but I went to a strip club in Oklahoma.
And it was kind of – I'm keeping it 100. Keep it 100.
Keep it 100. I found a strip club out there.
It was okay. But what cities – like, you know that if you're – like, was Dallas that city where the team coming into the city, you knew that they probably went out and they probably went out hard? So, if they're there for two nights, yes.
Yeah. But a lot of times, if they come in on a back-to-back, if you're going out on a back-to-back, you're thirsty as hell.
Right? You're super thirsty. Yeah.
But now, look, you don't have to go out now. Everybody, I think there was an article came out last year.
Yes. There was an that came out last year that said, guys don't have to go out no more.
Everybody's on social media. They just come to you.
They come to your hotel. You don't have to go to Jaguars until 3 o'clock in the morning.
Look at you. Look at you.
You know about it? You ever been to the breakfast buffet at Jaguars? No. It's terrible.
It's awful food. Awful food.
It's a good point, though. But great scenery.
I went there a long time ago. I've been there one time.
Did you notice when you were playing in Miami, teams that would come in and be like, yo, you guys were at live all night last night. Oh, yeah, we could tell.
But, you know, sometimes, you know, it just depends on what guys are out. The real good guys, the pros, are probably not out.
Especially if they know it's a game that counts for the regular season and regular schedule and stuff. You know.
I think a lot of the vets keep track of that stuff like that.

And like you said, though, it depends on some guys who are searching for their attention.

So that's what happens.

Yeah.

How many games in a regular season would you say guys are giving max, max effort?

I mean, honestly, the season is so long, man.

It's too hard to go just to give it. Like all-out playoff level.
Yeah, yeah. It's too hard.
You know what I mean? But, I mean, I played hard every time I won on the floor. So, like, I just took it like, you know what I mean? You just don't know.
Right. And I don't play that game.
So, I feel like when you give yourself a chance to go out and play hard, you always give yourself a chance to do good. You know what I'm saying? And give your team a chance to win.
But, I mean, most of the time, I don't think guys say out there not to go hard. I think it's just more of so just because it's so many games you get tired.
You get mentally tired. Load management.
Yeah, you get mentally tired sometimes. And, you know, there's going to be some games you might don't have – you might not be that alert.
You're playing hard, but it just seems like you just not locked. Yeah.
You're high. You're stoned.
I hope not. I actually think the NBA does a good job in terms of their marijuana policy.
I don't actually know what it is, but I'm just going to say that there's a problem in the NFL. The only problem they have with marijuana tests being flagged up is it makes the league look bad when you suspend a player for smoking weed.
Nobody would give a shit if all the players are smoking weed all the time. We only know about it because you suspend them.
I've never heard of an NBA player again. Let me ask you this question.
You think everybody was smoking all the time. You think the game wouldn't suffer? Yeah.
Guys being out there? Yeah. If they're smoking before NFL, I think there are definitely some players that play in the regular season.
Yeah, looking like the late 90s NBA. I mean, I wouldn't doubt it.
I mean, I'm pretty sure those guys are doing good drugs before the game. Yeah.
But, no, I'm going to do that. You know, Advil was my drug.
There you go. It tastes really good, by the way.
I had Advil last weekend. Yeah.
Yeah, it tastes like candy. I wanted to have more.
It's delicious. But I was like, no, no BFTH medicine.
Man, three of those, boy, keep me awake and alive. Yes, yes, yes.
For 48 minutes. I've been a real party guy, yeah.
Are you mad at all that you got the nickname Matrix and then they made three of them and they just got worse and worse as they went along? I love the Matrix movie. Even the third one sucked, dude.
Awesome. You suck.
Oh, there we go. But I'm saying, like, that's your name.
Like, the first one's awesome. You get the nickname.
Yeah, the first one came out, I got the nickname. that's my first year ever coming into the game that's crazy who gave it to you kenny smith kenny smith gave it to you yeah and then the second one comes out it's okay it was good i've never seen it i like all of them yeah third one comes out sucked and you're still named the matrix that's your preference though so listen i'm gonna ask you this question they They don't make three movies of any series if they suck.

They could.

Typical, they don't.

No, you're not totally wrong on that.

They don't put money in movies like that for them to suck.

Yeah.

All that stuff is predicated on numbers.

Godfather 3, that sucked.

They made a 3, though.

Yeah.

2 was good enough.

2 was good enough for them to make up.

The third one always sucks. What about Lethal Weapon 3? Lethal Weapon 3.
They made like 10 of those, right? This shit was good, though. You can't lie.
This shit was good. The first three Star Wars were bad, right? I don't know.
I never saw Star Wars. I like Star Wars.
Star Wars is good. You do? Yes.
Nerd. Wow.
I don't do that. Oh, wow.
I'm checking out your t-shirt over there. Yeah, so this is a Break don't have that one Yeah this is a brand new one We might have one out there We made this for the shooting down in Christchurch So the money is going to two charities down in New Zealand That's the one, okay that's the shirt you made for that Yeah so through the breakers Matty helped me out with this So yeah we'll get you one of these if you want one So when when you did play with Cleveland and LeBron, what was it like? Were you in LeBron's little inner circle? Did you ever get in? Yeah, I was in the circle, yeah.
You were in? Yeah. I don't know if you were in.
Yeah. You had to hesitate.
No, I didn't hesitate. Like, did you get on? Like, was he? I didn't.
I didn't. Let me ask you this.
You said some shit like that, though. Let me ask you this.
Were you ever in a picture out to dinner where LeBron used the caption La Familia? He didn't do those pictures. You were never in the inner circle.
Sorry, Sean. So fortunately, those pictures never happened when I was in Cleveland.
Oh, really? Yeah. That was before his taking pictures? That was the next year.
Keeping people in and out of the circle? That was the following year. Kevin Love.
What's he like as a teammate? We joke around a lot about LeBron. I actually think LeBron's the greatest player of all time.
Yeah, I think he's a great teammate. I think it's certain things about it.
It's the difference between being an off-the-court teammate and an on-the-court teammate, though. So I feel like, you know, in court, though, one of the things I'm just going to be real candid and honest, though, I think he shows his teammates up a little bit too much on the court.
And, you know, that's just part of him. You he kind of feels like he's earned that.
And, I mean, that's him. You know, I can't.
I mean, look, the dude is what he is. You know, I love Ron James.
He owns the NBA. He's basically owned the NBA.
Yeah, but that's one of the things I don't like he does. You know what I'm saying? But for the most part, man, what can you say? The guy is, you know, out here doing some amazing things on his court.
Is he a hard worker, like when it comes to putting in the minutes in practice? Oh, yeah, he can work out. Yes, he is.
He's going to get in the gym. Did you ever take a wine bath with Tamari Stoudemire? No.
Did you ever think about it? Never. Did he ever invite you over and he's just sitting in a fucking tub of Merlot? He's like, Sean, hop in.
He just got into wine in the last couple of years. No, but those pictures are just ridiculous of Stoudemire.
It probably takes like 30 bottles of wine to fill up that tub. He has his own wine over now in Israel.
Tub wine? Listen, I mean, he's doing good things over there. I like it.
Drink Amari's tub wine? It's actually smart. Do you think the NBA has a wine problem? All these guys are drinking a lot of wine i love wine so hey sheesh why not yeah i guess i mean yeah it just seems like lebron's doing bad for the kids you know like everyone's drinking wine all the time he's giving his kids wine yeah you ever see him like fill up his his kids like sippy cup with a little uh chardonnay or something like that never i ain't never seen it but anything is possible what were you doing in Toronto this past weekend? I did, it was cool.
I did a appearance with this little charity that they raised money for this hospital there that basically, it helps, I can't think of the name of it right now. They come to me in a little bit, but they raised money because they already got free healthcare there, but the healthcare only covers so much, So this hospital that they're raising money for covers everything else.
Okay. And they broke down the scenario, how they deal with it.
It was a great turnout, too. They had a lot of people.
There was a lot of retired players there that came in, and it was cool. It was fun.
What does that extra pass feel like? That must be the best feeling in all of basketball. Because that was the seven seconds or less suns.
The whole mantra is it's easier to make an extra pass, get someone that much more of a wide-open shot. Yeah, because if you run the floor.
Everything we did out there was predicated on the wings running the floor. Marley running on the center of the court.
Marley ran the rim and rim. I trailed for the trail three.
And Joe and Q were running the corners hard. So when they did that, it put so much pressure.
The defense has already sagged in. So if I come in and say a drag, a lot of times, there's no help.
So it's going to be a wide open three. If they suck to me, they rotate to me.
I'm going to kick it to the corner. That extra pass, though, that's, I mean, the Golden State, when you're talking about Golden State basketball, that's them making the extra pass.
It is sweet. Someone has an open shot, and then they make that, extra pass for a wide open shot.
So we did some of the stuff they did, kind of somewhat, but they took it to another level. Steve was the head of our snake.
So we did a lot of probing. You know what I'm saying? Driven around and did pick and rolls with Maury.
If they tagged him, he'd just fill a corner in for a three. It was just quick and simple hit.
A lot of quick hitters. Yeah, you see Steph do the baseline stuff like that.
But now they're running, though. So now they put movement in it.
They took it to another level from when we started. It helps that they have two of the best three-point shooters of all time.
Yeah, but that whole mindset of anybody can be a point guard mentality and everybody can make a pass from pop, the offense system. It just makes the game that much easier.
Did you ever tell Steve Nash, hey, man, just cut your hair? No. Yeah.
And he had that mop up there for a couple – it looked like it would get in his eyes all the time. It was.
It was greasy. He kept doing this.
Yeah. Were you ever nervous that he was actually injured when he would just go lay down with all the heating pads on the baseline? No, he had a tight back.
His back used to get tight up on him a lot. You know what I'm saying? And, you know, he got that.
He actually got that fixed, though. Our training staff out there was amazing.
You know, Aaron and Mike, they did a great job out there. You guys were known for that.
That was like a big thing that got free agents, you know, like, hey, go to Phoenix and you can play a little bit longer. Listen, you know, we got Grant.
Grant came out there. He was having problems with the ankle, man.
He played, man. He came out there, played some great years out there and was able to continue it going to L.A.
Then, you know, Shaq came out there. Hurt.
Got him out there back on the court. And they got some.
Listen, you know, it's a few other teams that actually do a lot of stuff with them. And that's the company at called National Academy of Sports Fans.
Now Mike Clark, the owner, Fusionetics. I'm shouting them out.
Yeah, Fusionetics. It's awesome stuff.
Awesome stuff, man. Did you cross paths with Shaq or no? Were you on the same team? No, no, no.
I never played with Shaq. You know what I'm saying? We swapped.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You swapped like all teams.
Miami, Cleveland, Phoenix. We swapped.
Yeah, we swapped. All right, my last question, SeatGeek question.
Put in promo code, take you at $10 off your SeatGeek purchase. Do you ever pull up old highlights and just watch yourself and, like, damn, I was really good? I have.
People send me stuff, too. Good.
All right. Yeah, I know.
Because I feel like that's something that most athletes do but probably don't want to talk about. No.
Yeah, I look at some stuff. I'm like, man, what? You got to start doing – Boozer puts up mixtapes of himself on his Instagram, and he's always like, shout out this guy who made it for me.
But it's probably himself. That's what you need to start doing.
Be like, damn, I was good. I ain't got time to do all that, though.
We'll make them for you. Okay.
And then you put them up and be like, shout out to part of my take for making this mixt for me. I'll do that.
No problem. Yeah.
Hold that. Yeah.
Right. I'll do that.
Yeah. No problem.
So you do watch yourself though and you're like, damn, that was awesome. Oh, I'll look at some highlights though.
Yeah. I definitely know.
Why not? Yeah. What's your favorite play that you've ever made? Oh.
Ooh. Let me see.
Do you have any game winners in the NBA? Yeah. How some dude uh i think four or five okay that's got to be the best feeling in the world yeah how long does that last i always wonder like you hit a game winner are you still buzzing for like four hours after two hours like what what is it like in the locker room instantly right after i mean, depending on what year it was, I probably wouldn't grab me a couple beers right after.
Yeah, right. That was one of the things people know I got used to.
Because a lot of people don't know this, though. Like, I had a situation my rookie season.
And my first trip to Miami ever, man, I got wasted. And wasted and man my vets had me drinking gold slugger you know what that is yeah oh yeah so you know what that is so i was hung over for two days co-scouts because i remember this guy i was like y'all can't take the rook out no more so it's like he can't handle that shit and uh i was like okay okay so like uh i mean i play you could just tell i was drunk you know what i'm saying it was it was just that because it's really aggressive and strong drink and i had never had it before so and it was a late night too and i don't know how much i drunk but i was toe up but um it happens part of it you know it happens you know it was uh but after that i made a pledge never uh i stopped drinking during the season.
Really? Yeah.

That's awesome.

I just assume if I – But then it really changed once I got my second deal

and I got around more vets, older guys.

You learned how to handle it a little bit.

You learned how to handle it.

Yeah, you learned how to handle it.

You learned how to, you know what I'm saying, manage it as well.

So having a couple beers after the game, cold ones, it's part of it.

Yeah, just a couple cocktails.

Because I'm burning it off before I get to the hotel. You know what I'm saying? So before we get into five, I'm burning off two beers already before I got to the game.
Cold ones? It's part of it. I'm burning it off before I get to the hotel.

You know what I'm saying? So before we give them the five-on-one,

burn off two beers already before I got to the hotel.

You lost 81-78.

You played 18 minutes. You were

0-7 from the field. When?

That game in Miami, your rookie year.

Was it?

You were 0-7 from the field.

You did get eight rebounds. That's decent.

The ball just bounced to you or something. You were 0-7 from the field.
That's hilarious. Did we win that game? You lost that game 81-78.
I just looked it up. That's fucking play.
You played 18 minutes. So Scott Skiles probably like, fuck this.
Oh, the rook is drunk. Get him out.
The rook is drunk. Yeah, because that's less minutes than you played.
You were playing a lot more minutes that part of the season. Then all of a sudden you got 18 minutes.

I think I got hurt right after that too, though.

That's funny.

That's really funny.

I think I went down for like 30 games.

So wait, are you still working?

Are you working in some capacity for the Mavericks right now?

Yes, I am.

I'm an ambassador with the Mavericks and with the NBA.

That sounds like an awesome job.

Yeah, it's cool, man.

It's like the Scottie Pippen job.

You just can't get a check for sitting sideline.

Right?

Right?

So just give Scottie Pippen a check just to sit down. No, I talk, me and Cuban, I talk to him all the time.
That's my guy. And, you know, they got some great things going on with the organization, man.
You know, go out there, make some appearances, talk to some kids and, you know, some coaches and stuff, man. It's just cool, you know, and it's kind of at your leisure to a certain degree and it's a cool gig, man.
I think, you know, it's ways to keep, stay around the game and be involved and, you know, and it's cool. I get to be around the team all the time.
Sounds like a great degree. It's a cool gig, man.
I think it's ways to stay around the game

and be involved.

It's cool.

I get to be around the team all the time.

Sounds like a great job.

It's cool.

Yeah, that's awesome.

All right, Sean.

This was fun, man.

Appreciate you stopping by.

Thanks, guys.

Great doing business with you,

with the breakers.

You work with us.

I work with y'all.

You work with me.

No, you work with us.

You work for us.

I don't know, actually. We actually never signed anything.
We were told that we are the owners of the team. You're co-owner.
Yeah, you're a co-owner, which is nice. We bring the cachet.
You sure? Yeah. How many followers you got on Twitter, bro? Is your logo on the jersey? Who bank accounts bigger? You don't know.
We get paid $90,000 a show. Okay.
I think I'm still sitting a lot better. Whose bank count's bigger in New Zealand? Mine.
You have a bank count in New Zealand? No. Neither do I.
We're on the even playing ground here now. That's pretty good.
Matrix, the tricks, thank you. Oh, Hall of Fame.
Are you going to be in the Hall of Fame next year? I hope so. I think so.
I think that's it, right? Hey. Yeah, I think next year's the Hall of Fame year.
Who's giving your speech if you get in? Great question. I'll probably give my man J.
Kidd. Yeah? Give you one last assist? Yeah.
I like it. Nice.
That's a solid one. J.
Kidd, maybe have him spill a drink right as he's coming up so he can make your speech last a little longer. Why not? Why not give me a drink? Yeah, there you go.
Exactly. All right, Sean.
Thank you so much. Thanks, guys.
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Okay, let's do some segments.

First up, we have PR 101 for Aaron Rodgers.

So this story actually came out late Thursday while PFT was on a 16-hour flight.

He's got another 16-hour flight coming up right after this. I'm not trying to say it just to but yeah you have another 16-hour flight uh there was a long article about the like demise of the packers mike mccarthy and aaron rogers it was pretty much that aaron rogers is uh like a salty ass bitch and he said there was quotes not a natural born leader he'll throw you in the doghouse not accountable doesn't address problems hypersensitive he never takes the blame it's always the receiver's fault also there might have been like a little piece about how mike mccarthy was just getting massages all the time and didn't give a fuck but that that was that was like little minor shit it was pretty much just aaron rogers a bad teammate yeah he has bitch like tendencies sometimes um i think it's a very easy PR 101 for Aaron Rodgers and it's uh you just pay Chris Conti to play on whatever team you're playing against that weekend and yeah problem solved yeah I mean all right look to be totally honest I read this article and it was like porn for me I was like I had to stop and really savor it like oh my god I was the int verbal meme Antonio Bander banderas like going back on his computer and giving that nice smile that was me reading the entire article but the entire time i was reading it i was like these guys were so dysfunctional and it was such a shit show and they still kick the shit out of the bears every year but you know what now things so the narrative started to change on aaron rogers every time you talk how great he is, you are now contractually obligated to say, but he's only won the one Super Bowl.
That's part of Aaron Rodgers' name right now. Yeah, he's great, but he just won the one Super Bowl.
And it turns out that – I don't think that any coach would be able to really get along well with Aaron. I think Aaron – best case for Aaron Rodgers is he just tolerates you as his head coach.

Right. And it's going to be interesting because I feel like this might be a wake-up call.
Like, hey, this could be your legacy, the guy who couldn't get along with teammates and everything. Even though, if you read the article, being totally honest, it was clear that it was dysfunction all around.
It wasn't fully Aaron Rodgers. I think he's probably difficult to be around sometimes.
but Mike McCarthy sounded like a pretty big dunce and uh you know the the the management

sounded pretty stupid but it's going to be interesting to see what happens going forward because Aaron Rodgers now he's got maybe the coach killer tag even though he only killed one coach in like 15 years but still coach killer he's attempted murdered several coaches though yes yes I'm just like he's It's escalating to Coach Killers. It's like serial killers coaches, though.
Yes. Yes.
I'm just happy. He's escalating to coach killers.
It's like serial killers. You know, when they're young kids, they like do stuff with animals and stuff.
Aaron Rodgers is like escalate. He's working his way up there.
And so if he doesn't cut these out right now, I could see him getting a few more fired before the end of his career. Next up, we have way to stay relevant baseball.
Yasiel Puig tried to fight the entire Pittsburgh Pirates team, and it was the coolest picture ever. Way to Stay Relevant Baseball.
You did a good job here. Yeah, it was a great picture.
Puig is looking chunky. He is so thick right now.
Goddamn. Yes, he is.
That single picture, though, that's a smart way to get people buzzing about baseball is have it look like a scene from the Gladiator. And we can't share videos online, so at least we can have pictures.
And maybe in tomorrow's paper, we'll read about it, and it'll be cool. Yeah, this is the fight that happens every single year.
I think it happens on the same day every year in baseball. You start to forget that the games are going on.
It's like the week after opening day nobody really cares that much until you know uh after the nba and nhl playoffs are over and so they have the one fight that gets people talking yes exactly all right next up we have a uh shoe roast for the jets new jersey so those were unveiled on thursday. And you start, PFT.

What are your initial reactions from it?

My initial reactions are it's like a JV version of the Eagles jerseys,

the Kelly Greens.

That's what it looked like to me.

Also, you don't need to do a full jersey unveiling.

Just give me the color rush.

That's all I want to know.

What is the color rush like this year?

The color rush.

And also, jersey Twitter is so fucking funny because everyone, like like at the end of the day, when you think about sports fans and we are sports fans and we are like, you know, this whole entire show is essentially a satirization of ourselves because at the end of the day, we're like inner meatballs. I love the idea that we're sitting there judging fashion while I'm dressed in like a Tasman tasmanian devil t-shirt and uh like jeans that i haven't washed in three weeks i'm like the fucking the piping on the shoulder here is so stupid like i can't believe they did this the lettering is it doesn't pop how could you do a black outline it's like bro look at yourself you still wear like you know shirts that you should be they're like a middle schooler wears and judging fashion.
Yeah. I woke up this morning and I put on shorts that I purchased because they had built in underwear.
And I'm pissed off about the font on the side of the jet sleeve. It's so perfect.
It's fucking good. Whenever there's a new jersey on Twitter, it's so funny because the people who have terrible fashion and the people who are most vocal about how bad they look it's just one big circle the venn diagram and we're all just like on our high horse and then you look in the mirror and you're like yeah wait did you just really spend two hours critiquing the fashion of the jets uniform yeah also i mean the jets should almost come out with new shittier versions of their uniform every single year because that goes right along with the state of the franchise.
And it's probably, if you can get the people talking about how bad your uniforms are, that's a great distraction for the Jets. You will take that conversation 10 times out of 10 instead of talking about the product on the field.
Also, just a little tip for everyone out there who's unveiling a new jersey. I need you to have one guy come out in the old jersey because my brain is so small that the minute you show me a new jersey, I have no idea what the old jersey looked like.

You could put an old jersey, Jets jersey in front of me and be like, what is that?

I've never seen that in my life before.

So it's that quick that it just goes from my memory.

Yeah, also just take the old jersey out on stage,

but you can also doctor that one to make it look even worse.

So no matter what, when you're showing the new jersey,

they're like, oh, yeah, those old ones were pieces of shit.

Look how ugly that thing is.

It's just like a doctor jersey to look bad.

Yeah, I like that.

I like that.

All right, next up we have Matt Online, Antonio Brown.

He's still Matt Online.

He's still fighting with Juju Smith-Schuster. He's retweeting everyone who's buying Raiders gear.
He does not want to be on the Raiders. I don't even know if he wants to play football anymore.
He just wants to fight. He just wants to be a professional Petty Wars fighter for anyone against the Steelers.
Yeah, no, he just wants to be CEO of Antonio Brown Corp. He is.
Yeah, he's a one man team of Antonio Brown. And he is.
He does have rabbit ears, doesn't he? Like he has the most thin skin. I mean, between him and Kevin Durant, there's a lot of ears on the ground out in the Bay Area.
Just listen to all the haters. I think probably Antonio Brown listens more than even Katie does at this point.
I also am getting to the point where he fights on Twitter every single day with ex-Steelers or fans or anyone or basically has to prove how much money he made. Then I'm at the point where I'm going full-on addition by subtraction.
The Steelers are going to be better without Antonio Brown. Oh, I like that.
I like that. Juju seems like a funny guy.
I think we've reached that point with Juju where he's become a big enough star hank what the hell he he just sneezed i'm in this is my this this just got me sick okay this episode is my fire fest for people who don't understand i we have to listen so there's no echo we hank and i are sharing headphones so i'm basically handcuffed to someone who's who's who's got like the bubonic plague and yeah just keep sneezing and I can't get away from him because we're sharing headphones Jesus well thoughts and prayers man because that that was a very very violent sounding sneeze he just let out I think he's got swine flu it's these hotel rooms dude all right let's finish up so that I don't die PFT you have a hot in the streets and then we'll Monday reading. Yeah.
So I'm reporting live from the future in Hong Kong and I picked up some new cool teen slang. So I was talking to a Hong Kong teenager in one of the parks here and he taught me this word seebs.
Do you guys say seebs? Bubba, you say seebs? Seebs? Yeah, seebs. It's like when you're just chilling by yourself.
You're like dolo. You're solo.
You your boy's like hey you want to come out tonight you're like no man i'm seebes oh so like wait let me try to use it in a sentence right now i i would i would give a million dollars to be seebes yeah you're not about to see seebes life right now yeah i would pay anything as soon as not be with hank as soon as we disconnect i've got like five hours to my flight i'm just gonna be seebs for a minute and then uh and then roll okay nice i like that just see it's pretty cool right yeah like this is slang from the future yeah hank use it in a sentence i'm also excited for this recording to be over so i can be see you and be away from you oh oh because i'm getting you i'm getting you healthy if anything very mean no my i am i have done my health is getting healthier. I'm just trying to do my job, and you're making it very difficult.
You're doing a great job. You're doing a great job.
Thank you. And I know you're sick.
The way Hank says, Sieb, you're a cop. That was copish.
That was mean. We're trying to be nice to him.
All right. Let's do our Monday reading, which we actually taped before PFT went to Hong Kong.

And then we will see you guys all on Wednesday. But here's the Monday reading.

OK, let's finish up with our Monday reading. I alluded to it last week.

Our producer, our super producer, he's the best producer in the world.

Henry Lockwood, his resume, his actually was an introductory email when he first got hired at Barstool. Is one of the greatest pieces of literature I've ever read.
Hank, do you want to say anything beforehand? Set the stage. You were 19, 18? I was 19.
I just did a one-year film program. I was in the middle of applying for other like shitty like PA jobs and like random video jobs.
Went on Barstool. I saw a video KFC was in the background like waving the flag and I just assumed that KFC worked there too in the office because he was in the office.
Right. And it was Dave being like if there's anything you can do to help with this campaign blah blah blah.
And I like clicked because I was like oh shit. Dave was running for mayor of Bostonoston yeah he made a video he's like i'm running for mayor of boston you know i want to win this shit we need people to help the campaign like if there's anything you can do email weird haircut seth uh and like tell us what you can do okay and so it was at a time when i was like pitching myself to other companies and i was like oh boom boom this is it boom okay Excuse me Bless you Don't worry I won't make fun of your sneeze

Cut that. Cut that.
Okay. Hank, I had a quick question though.
Yeah. Was there anything in your life that happened while you were in film school where you just said, fuck it, and it made you make the snap decision? Because it sounds like you were willing to risk it all for bar school.
Yeah, is film school folded? No, no, that happened after that. Oh, okay.
No, it was a one-year program. Your check bounce? I had finished the one-year program.
You went to Trump University of film school. No, well, it was Boston University Center for Digital Imaging Arts.
A few years later, I think Boston University unaccredited it. They stopped associating themselves with the school.
After they learned you graduated from it? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was good for what I needed to do.
I needed experience. I was doing it so I could get into another film school because I had nothing on my resume.
It was junior college for film school. Pretty much.
Most people just call that porn. Yeah.
No, the real reason is I tried to, like, I had worked a landscaping job for my town the summer before. Then, all I had to do was just resend an application just to get back through the system and back.
And I forgot to send it. It was just sitting in my apartment.
Forgot to send it. Called them.
I was like, hey. They're like, yeah, we already filled the spot.
You don't have a job. So I needed.
I was like, fuck. You need a job.
I was like, I need to do something this summer. You'reicking okay so here here's how it starts i want you also hank to stop me whenever i read a lie okay okay all right well yeah no just stop me whenever i read a lie all right it starts mr el presidente my name is henry lockwood and i am going to be a game changer for your mayoral campaign because I can give you all the film and editing services you need for your mayoral campaign for prices.
I guarantee, all caps, spelled G-A-R-U-N-T-E-E. That's tough when you spell it that wrong, and you're also capitalizing.
It kind of draws a lot of attention to the guarantee g-a-r-u-n-t-e-e the worst part about this like i everything i said is truth i sent this email like 10 times i just copy and pasted it i never once was like spell checking like is this i literally would just send this email like i would copy and paste it and just resend redend little scribbles under everything all right so uh for prices i guarantee you will not find anywhere else period all caps again free period way to negotiate hank right off the gate first sentence he's giving it to you for free so you gotta set yourself apart so did you put a period or did you Just write the word period. No, period, free, period.
Okay. I am 20.

I am a 20-year-old stoolie through and through. That was a lie.
I was 19, but I wanted to make myself seem older. Nice.
Seemature. First lie.
From the coastal town of Situate down on the South Shore. Nice.
More importantly, I am soon to be graduating from Boston University's Center for Digital Imaging Arts on June 1st with a degree in digital filmmaking. That's a lie.
It wasn't really graduating. It wasn't really a degree.
It wasn't any of that. I got a certificate in digital filmmaking.
Here's a little tip for everybody. If you didn't graduate from college, I'm not making any judgments from people that don't because college is a fire fest kind of sometimes.

But if you don't graduate on your resume, just put the years that you went there and say, I finished at this school next year. Right.
All right. So picking back up, what does this mean to you and your campaign? It means that I have the skills, the equipment, and the manpower necessary to write, produce, and edit any kind of video you can possibly imagine or want to get made in any location at any time and make it look professional for free.
I feel like that all was a lie because you now have gone from graduating to having a full camera crew and equipment truck at your fingertips. Well, technically, as part of the tuition of the school, you did have access to all this stuff for free for a year.
When you were there. No, and for a year after.
But what about when it goes away, the school? What do you mean? Oh, well, it stayed. That didn't happen for a few years.
When I wrote this email, this was all truth. So what kind of equipment did you have access to? They had everything.
They had sound, green screen, like nice cameras. Yeah, you actually say right here.
All right, here we go. The thing was that I had access to it.
I didn't really know how to use it that well. Right.
But I did. That was true.
That was true. I could technically get all this stuff.
Okay, so here you wrote it.

As part of my tuition for school, I have access to a gigantic selection of film equipment for free for a year after graduation, as well as the cameras and equipment me and members of my group own, which includes but is not limited to Sony X1 camera, Canon T5-1 camera, tripod, a 16-foot rig for crane type,

swoop-down shots, C-stands,

multiple types of lighting kits,

depending on what type of look you are looking for,

HD camera monitors, two different types of green screens,

camera gels, dollies, flag kits, monopods, etc.

Basically everything you need and more to make videos

for your campaign and website at no cost to you. Good, good.
That's a great pitch. That is a great pitch.
When it comes to editing, I am trained on final cut X, the most up to date final cut version available in the industry standard for filmmakers. I have the program on my lap.
That's kind of a lot. So what did you know about editing? I, well, I mean, so this school, like they, went, they basically, like, you did things in, like, a week or two weeks.
So they'd be like, all right, Final Cut, you learn for two weeks. So it's like, you, I knew enough to know what I, to, like, put this in an email.
To open it up. But I didn't really, like, know that, how to use any of the stuff that well.
This is very relatable, by the way. Everyone who's ever applied for any job anywhere has said that they are proficient in Microsoft Excel, and, like, no one is.
No one knows. All I know is I can move the cursor from cell to cell.
Yeah, the one guy who is is fucking awesome at it, and it's a thing of beauty, but everyone else pretends they are. It is.
They don't know. It's like watching Mozart play the piano.
Oh, it's unbelievable. Someone who's sick of Microsoft Excel fucking love it.
Okay, so let's see.

I have the program on my laptop as well as my desktop at home.

I'm also trained and experienced in motion graphics for title sequence stuff.

And always good when you can use stuff in a cover letter.

And color correction to ensure the quality of the video is top notch and not some shitty

movie, iMovie edit with generic graphics and text that everyone has seen before. Wait, how come you've never done any color correction here? I have.
Oh. Really? Yes.
Okay. What are you saying, that we're too pale, that you have to make us look tanner? I thought there was only one editor here who knew how to do that.
Uh, no. I mean, I'm not going to shit anyone here, but there's no one here that knows how to do it, like, professionally, but there's...
It's a good thing they're not getting paid for. There's no way you're going to find someone who has access to this type of equipment and crew, personal, but it's personnel, but it's personal, with a totally clear schedule, willing to do it for free because I doubt there's many diehard stoolies with nothing but time and lots of equipment.
There's no P. Actually, that's like a lot of stoolies.
Yeah, didn't put a P in that equipment. Equipment on their hand, willing to work for you and your team around the clock, but maybe I'm wrong.
That's a doozy of a sentence. There's no way you're going to find someone who has access to this type of equipment and crew personnel with a totally clear schedule willing to do it for free because I doubt there's many diehard stoolies with nothing but time and lots of film equipment on their hand willing to work for you and your team around the clock, but maybe I'm wrong.
But maybe I'm wrong is a great way to end that sentence. That's a power way to end that sentence.
That catches someone's eye. Now, did he spell Guna, G-U-N-N-A? No, he's got Guna right.
He's got Guna right. We're good with that.
I don't care about money. Again, good way to answer this negotiation.
I don't care about money because I understand the amount of money and effort it takes to run a campaign. And since I can get all the equipment for free, I just figured I would offer you what I have and let it be at your disposal because I want to see you as mayor, spelled with an E, and also because there's nothing else I would rather do with my time that would be more helpful or more fulfilling than helping you and Barstool campaign team shock the world and become mayor spelled correctly.
You actually spelled mayor two different ways in the same sentence. That's fantastic.
Again, everything I'm putting on the table is free of charge, so it's really a no-loss situation for you.

I really want to stress that you can abuse me as much as you want this job.

I mean, this has got him a job.

Fucking Hank is producer of the number one sports podcast.

Now, this is how you make it, kids.

We all have had this moment.

I remember I had this moment.

I sent out a resume once with just the wrong email address on everything.

I was like, why am I not getting any replies?

I'm attaching my demo reel that I give to the corporations when applying at their companies. How many corporations do you apply at their companies? I mean, this was, when I was writing this, I was like, applying to other places.
Oh, you were? Okay, so this went out everywhere. Yeah, this went out to all the corporations and their companies.
And several companies. Now, I didn't get any offers or job offers from any of those corporations that I applied to.
No, I like that. Except Barstool, which is so perfect.
Hank, I like what you're doing here because, yes, you have kind of gone out of your way so you don't have to pay me, but you've also kind of made yourself wanted by letting Dave know that there are many companies and there are corporations out there that are interested in your reel. Yeah, people are actively bidding for Henry Lockwood services.
So if you can make me an offer that's exactly $0, I'll take it. Yeah, exactly free or maybe even less than free, I'll consider it.
All right, I'm attaching my demo reel that I gave to the corporations when applying at their companies as well as my resume and my Gronk the World video I made before I went to film school along with my buddies that shows deep down I'm just a movie junkie stoolie that loves to smash shit. That's it right there.
That's the fucking selling point. If you have any questions or are interested to call me, you left your phone number and your email.
Viva La Stool Henry Lockwood. This, I love this because honestly, Hank, I know it's probably a little embarrassing, but it's also very relatable because every kid out there who's like 18, 19, maybe you're graduating college trying to figure out what to do, you probably have sent out a resume with some words misspelled, and guess what? Hank is here now all because he's ready to work for free.
Well, the real reason, I will say, it is a little embarrassing reading it back, especially with all the spelling errors. The guarantee is the tough one because it's all caps.
Yeah. It's the second sentence.
Yeah, and that's just kind of a problem I've always had of just phonetically spelling things, not correctly spelling things. That told me that you were enthusiastic while you were writing it.
You didn't have time to go back and spell it. This email really meant nothing because Dave never even read it.
This got brought to his attention like three years later, and someone was like, you hire this kid and dave replied to tweet he's like i didn't see this email weird haircut seth hired him i never would have saw him i never would have hired him if i saw this uh but what i did is that i sent this and i probably sent it like no joke like 15 times like i just kept copy and pasting sending it to weird weird haircut seth copy and past and pasting, sending it to Weird Hick at Seth. And then eventually, what I guess I heard, like, after the fact, behind the scenes, is they had, like, trouble with, like, a film crew, and they're like, who should we get? And Seth was just like, this kid's been emailing me nonstop, and then, like, he said that to Gaz, and then Gaz called me.
Fuck yes! So, like, Gaz didn't even read the email either. Never give up! Seth was was just like this kid, like, he heard Dave and Gaz having a conversation, like, what are we going to do? And he was like, this kid's been emailing me nonstop, like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So your resume was essentially just a series of emails that somebody saw that they got. Just like, it said Henry Lockwood, and then parentheses 25, because there were 25 emails.
And that little subject line was your resume in this case. Yes.
And then Hank got hired. and then parentheses 25 because there were 25 emails.
We'll work for free. That little subject line was your resume in this case.
Yes. And then Hank got hired.
And then his first day on the job. I worked for free for like.
Well, yeah. Well, you did.
I mean, why wouldn't you? Because you said it like 16 times. Well, yeah.
Dave didn't even know that when he got brought in. Major bait and switch.
He showed up and Billy, okay, my salary demands are... But he did show up and Hank's first day

on the job

was the day

that we did our first

big video

and Hank was running

the whole thing.

Well,

then Gaz called me

and he was like,

he gives me a call.

He's like,

hey,

we're doing this video

tomorrow with Todd McShay.

Can you come help edit it?

And I was like,

shitting my pants

like Todd McShay,

like holy fuck,

ESPN,

blah, blah, blah.

And then we showed up

and he's like,

all right,

this is our equipment.

This is what we have. How should we set it up? Blah and I was like what the fuck like I said I know how to use this stuff I don't actually had the video turn out you can watch it it's still up there somewhere on YouTube but yeah it was okay I mean the beauty of like when I started I was so bad at making videos and now people look back like these are the best videos because it's like the Barstool charm.
It's like they're just shitty videos, but people, for whatever reason, like them for nostalgia reasons. I always cringe watching back because it's just like – I mean it looks – it's very elementary.
Yeah. Can I tell you something? Yeah.
So when I was probably about your age, the age that you are now. So yeah, we're laughing.
We're having a good time. You are way more successful right now than I was when I was your age.
Oh, yeah. At this age, I sent a very similar email to Chris Cooley, the tight end of the Redskins.
You remember he was trying to get into sports blogging and he was writing a bunch of shit. And I was like, hey, man, I noticed that you're doing this, this, and this.
It's pretty funny. i can help you out with your video services because i owned a video i owned like a nice camera i lied way more than you lied about what i final cut pro and then his brother tanner the coolie boys they were some ratty bros um they got back to me and they're like yeah let's do it next day he takes a picture of his dick and accidentally posted online and he's like we've been asked to kind of tone it down by the organization, so I don't know if we're going to be doing any video stuff.
So that was a minor seven-year stumbling block in my career. Yeah.
But good for you, Hank. You were scrappy.
You were gritty. You were determined.
And it worked. Yes.
That's the bottom line. Now you're here.
It's fantastic. It's funny.
It would not be a funny read if you weren't here right now. Now it's a funny read because, like, yeah, you're very successful.
Yeah, let's read all the resumes of people that we decided not to hire. Yeah, guarantee.
That would just be mean. All caps.
Guarantee. G-A-R-U-N-T-E.
If you are going to apply for an internship this summer, we need someone that's good at Pro Tools. Ooh, and also spreadsheets.
I want the Excel. I want you to figure out numbers for me.
I want you to teach me numbers. Yeah, but no, but I really need the numbers thing.
I want numbers. We'll have somebody that knows what numbers are.
Yeah. All right, PFT, this is future PFT.
Good luck on your flight. If I died, this podcast right now is going to be worth a shitload of money.
So here's what you do. I want your word on this, guys.
If I die in a plane crash or in a Hong Kong accident or I get kidnapped and sold into white slavery, I want you guys to sell this podcast. Only one person gets it.
The highest bidder. Squarely style, like when you bought the Wu-Tang album.
So just this tape? Just this part of the tape. Yeah, I'm going to be honest.
I'm looking out for you. I'll tell a live you right now that we'll do that.
But if my final four bets didn't go well, I will definitely do like once I raise enough money, I'll release it to everyone. I'm being honest with you.
My dying wish for you is for me to be honest to you. You don't get to do a dying wish to me.
That's it right there.

My dying wish to you is to sell

this to

Mark Cuban. I'm going to sell it for as

much cash as I can get right away.

Sell it to Tom Dundon.

Again, much cash right

away. Okay.

Love you guys.

This is spooky PFT from beyond

the grave. Ooh.
to find you shining away I'll be coming for your love okay take on me take me on I'll be gone

In a day of tea

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports