Chris Long On UVA's Title + Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club Is Back, EMERGENCY UPDATE - Magic Johnson

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 2 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 2 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have two very good friends. We have Blake Bortles, little Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club.

Speaker 1 But before that, we have Chris Long, two-time Super Bowl champion and also a graduate from Virginia. He was at the national title.
His who's are no longer a national joke.

Speaker 1 So we talked to him about the national title game. What are you saying?

Speaker 1 The who's? The who's. Who, who, who, who cares? That's what they say every time they have a football game.
That was a mean shot.

Speaker 1 They won the national title. We're going to recap the national title.

Speaker 1 Hot seat, cool thrown. And because it is Wednesday, guys on chicks, before we get to all that, it's time.
I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.

Speaker 1 It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides.

Speaker 1 Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 3 Get Uber One for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats.
With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.
Savings may vary.

Speaker 3 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the song of work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a lot of

Speaker 1 And then I can name all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elite Track Avenue. Part of my take and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by our new presenting sponsor, Cash App. Thank you, Cash App.

Speaker 1 Presenting sponsor of Part of My Take. Today is Wednesday, April 10th, and the Cavaliers are champions again.
Yes, it's been a while. It has.
It's been a while since Delhi took them there.

Speaker 1 People forget the 3-1 lead. Yeah, that's true.
Warriors blew it. But yeah, shout out to UVA.
I think, you know what? This was a big you got owned game for me personally. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I, hand up, I got owned. I've been saying for the last week, like, I'm rooting for Texas Tech UVA in the championship because it's going to be so boring.
Turns out I was wrong. Yeah, well.

Speaker 1 Not wrong a lot. No, listen, you thought exactly.
I'm actually wrong about that, too. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you thought what everyone else thought, and then everyone went on Twitter and been like,

Speaker 1 What happened to all these people who said it was going to be a bad game? Like, yeah, you know what? It turned out to be a great game. It was awesome.
Yeah. It was a fantastic national championship.

Speaker 1 It had the perfect first two minutes where they were kicking the ball around. It was like three to two, and Texas Tech started 0 for 8 from the field.
But then it became great.

Speaker 1 There were big shots, good defense, compelling moments, instant replays that lasted forever. The biggest thing, though, for me is UVA now becomes one of the coolest stories in all of sports.

Speaker 1 Going from the loss to UMBC last year as a one seed to a 16 seed, never happened before, to then get all the way back and go to the national title and win the national championship.

Speaker 1 It's all like one story, and it all kind of erases. I feel like if they don't have that low, they don't get to this high.

Speaker 1 And if you look at how they got on this run, the three games, the Purdue game where they're down

Speaker 1 with like, they're down three with five seconds left. The Auburn game, they're down four with 17 seconds left.
And the national title, they're down three with 12 seconds left.

Speaker 1 If you don't get to the rock bottom of losing to UMBC, I don't think you win those games because they had nothing to lose. Right.
But yeah, they couldn't be killed this year.

Speaker 1 And you know what? It's a classic case of, yeah, they were lucky. They got lucky a lot.
But you know what? To me, it seems like the best teams are always the ones that get the luckiest.

Speaker 1 Like, you can make the case, like, oh, Tom Brady shouldn't have as many Super Bowls because

Speaker 1 the interception bailed him out at the end of the Seattle game. Vinoteri bailed him out in the playoffs at that first one.
But you know what?

Speaker 1 It turns out that if you have luck that adds up a lot, you're probably just good.

Speaker 1 If you point to any championship team ever, there was a moment where they had the ball bounce their way. That's just how it works.

Speaker 1 And yeah, of course, people will talk about the double dribble against Auburn. They'll talk about the review, you know, the Kyle Guy trip,

Speaker 1 the instant replay, ball out of bounds review.

Speaker 1 I throw all that out. Virginia was the best team this year.
Their story is unbelievable. They were like robotic in the fashion that they just never, they never panicked.
They were always in it.

Speaker 1 They'd go five minutes without scoring, and they'd be like, you know what? We're still in it. Because their defense was suffocating.
Their defense was suffocating. And they really did.

Speaker 1 I feel like at the end of games, when you have the embarrassment of losing to a 16 seed, the first ever to have that happen, I feel like you probably sit in the huddle.

Speaker 1 You're like, hey, guys, it can't get worse than that. That's true.
So let's go play this last minute. Let's go see if we can make a shot.
Let's go see if we can get a big three. It's true.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to throw this out there. If anybody at UVA listens to this show, if anybody that works for the team, maybe give some rings to UMBC's team last year.
Some championship rings. It's true.

Speaker 1 How bad do you feel if you are a senior that graduated last year? Terrible. Are you happy at all? Are you psyched that your teammates, your former teammates, got to win a big one?

Speaker 1 Or are you like, fuck, I really, was it me? Was I the big difference?

Speaker 1 No, I think you're a little happy just because people won't talk about the 16 seed upset as much I think they will though because that like you said it's always gonna be it's all one story but that story ends well like the story ends at the top of the mountain so you you don't you don't look at it the same way you don't look at it as an embarrassing moment you look at it as a moment that got them to the the finish line you're like an ancillary character that gets killed off early in a movie and then your death is avenged later but enough years pass and no one will even know which team you were on you get yourself a ring i guess no one will know that's still got to be tough

Speaker 1 yeah it definitely has to be The other note I made from watching the first half last night, Hank, you okay? You still sick? No sneezes today. Yeah, I was actually dead on about my hotel.

Speaker 1 And I don't know, I ran the tape back, PFT.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you, if you listened back, but after you ruthlessly making fun of me for sneezing, which wasn't my fault, on Thursday, which was recorded before Sunday. Today's quote, though,

Speaker 1 on Monday's show, PFT said, a sickness always starts somewhere. On Thursday's show, when we were recording the Monday reading, you sneezed.

Speaker 1 I blessed you and said, I'm not going to make fun of you for sneezing. So thank you for getting me sick.
Oh, wait, so you blessed me. And you're welcome

Speaker 1 for sneezing. You said, congratulations on sneezing.
I approve of that. No, I just blessed you.
You gave me a space

Speaker 1 so that your soul didn't leave your body.

Speaker 1 Hank declared the studio to be a safe place for sneezing, and now he's blaming me for everybody getting sick after they come in here. No,

Speaker 1 it was proven. It was proven it was a hotel room.
I'm fine.

Speaker 1 I stayed in the same hotel room. I've totally held you, but it was a hotel.

Speaker 1 The other thing I wrote down back to the game, real quick, in the first half, it seems to me like all the first half unders were hitting on any game that's ever been played on an elevated floor like in a football but the overhit yeah but in but in the first half oh it takes time to figure it out is what i'm saying wait but the overhit the first half but it started up but it started slow is what i'm getting at but the first half over yeah but like big time i'm just saying i've noticed that teams when they're on that when they're on that raised floor so you're saying like the first five minutes yeah of the game big time got it i'm just saying be on the lookout for that i'm sorry for trying to open your eyes to a trend that i see developers well i don't know how you'd profit off that trend we'll figure out a way more basketball games should have the camera that they have on the baseline that rolls with the action.

Speaker 1 Yes. I only see that during the Final Four National Championships.
You mean when they bring the ball up? That's cool. But I don't like it when they keep it on it because you get very confused.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the producer gets a little too excited, and they want to play with their new Booger Mobile toy too much. And they're like, yeah, we're going to keep this going.
I hate it when that happens.

Speaker 1 But you're right. When it's coming up the line, it's like the 100-yard dash when they use that in the Olympics.

Speaker 1 That is a real trick of a camera angle. So, yeah, UVA, we're going to talk to Chris Long.
He was at the game.

Speaker 1 It is, though, an incredible story because they, you know, we made fun of Mark Titus, who is a friend of ours, but we made fun of him because he was always a UVA guy.

Speaker 1 And it was always fun to make the jokes about how UVA would dominate in the regular season. They were a one-seed four out of the last six years.

Speaker 1 And for them to dominate every regular season and never get to the final four, let alone win it. So, like I said, it's a very cool sports story.

Speaker 1 I think it's like one of those things where you step back, you're like, man, this is actually like why you watch sports for these kinds of, you're almost watching a 30-for-30 in real life.

Speaker 1 You're watching it all happen where they go have that embarrassing loss and get all the way to the finish.

Speaker 1 And Kyle Guy, shout out to him for having his Twitter avatar be the loss to UMBC for this past year.

Speaker 1 Motivation to finally get there. And Texas Tech,

Speaker 1 I'll say this. Texas Tech, I would love to be a Texas Tech fan because their fans are fucking awesome.
When we were in Minnesota, every Texas Tech fan was doing the guns up.

Speaker 1 They had a cowboy hat, they had a huge dip in, and they looked like they were just ready to party. And it was like, those are the fans

Speaker 1 I want to be friends with. And that was a hell of a run by them.
I wish they had just played a little closer, like not tried to help in the lane with 12 seconds left and let DeAndre Hunter wide open.

Speaker 1 That's someone who bet on Texas Tech, but still an unbelievable run for them. I also bet on Texas Tech.
I felt that sting. And you're right.

Speaker 1 People from every Texas Tech fan that I know or alumni that I know is just a very, very fun person. Right.
Because if you can have fun for four years in Lubbock, you can have fun anywhere.

Speaker 1 It might as well be on the surface of the moon. That's how far away it is from everything.

Speaker 1 You're going to make your own party with you. Yeah, they also have like a monopoly on cool sayings and slogans.
They have guns up where they can basically walk around going guns up.

Speaker 1 They yell Raider and then everyone yells back power. And they also have Wreck'em.
Yeah. It's like the coolest fucking place ever.
Pretty solid.

Speaker 1 Good come up for Texas Tech. I now officially consider you a basketball school as long as Chris Beard stays there.
Do they also have, is that where the bell-ringing guy is? From that gift?

Speaker 1 Where he looks like he's cranking off? Yes, maybe.

Speaker 1 I think he is from Texas Tech. So we're going to run with that.
So, yeah, they got truly everything there. I got a question for you, PFT.
The other big story coming out of the national championship.

Speaker 1 People are very mad. This is finally the revolt against robots.
People are very mad about instant replay in all sports, but especially in college basketball, obviously, we had the Saints and Rams.

Speaker 1 We didn't have Jay Billis to tell us how bad it is over and over and over. But I think we're at that breaking point where it's very bizarre that people are

Speaker 1 upset now that replay gets it right, but it takes too long, which I get the taking too long, but now I'm seeing the argument that people say, well, if it was called in a pickup game or if they just used like their gut, it would have gone one way, but after the 47th replay, they got it right.

Speaker 1 Why are we mad about them? Because

Speaker 1 it's the rise of the machines. The machines, they're too good at their job.
So, what we've realized is a lot of times when the ball is being hit out of bounds

Speaker 1 out of somebody's hand, it turns out it touches the finger or the hand of the person who was holding the ball before it got hit out. And that's like we know too much now.
Right.

Speaker 1 Like, if you get close enough to anything, you're going to not like what you see. It's like those Impressionist paintings, you know?

Speaker 1 Pointalism. Pointalism.
Yeah. If you get too close to any painting, it doesn't matter if it's the Mona Lisa or any other painting.
That's really the only one that I know.

Speaker 1 It's just a swath of fucking oil. If you get super close to it, all you see is like Da Vinci's jizz that he accidentally wiped off in there one time, and then like a little bit of brown.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, that sucks. You need distance from something.

Speaker 1 So now that we've let the toothpaste out of the tube, I don't know if there's a way to walk it back because you can't just look at a replay.

Speaker 1 And we're seeing the same thing in baseball over the last couple of years when somebody's sliding into second base and

Speaker 1 there's a pop-up or there's that moment where the shoulder comes off the ground and the foot touches the bag. The bag comes off.
Exactly. So we're finding out too much from these machines.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if there's a solution to it besides just accept the fact that your eyes aren't as good as a robot sometimes. Okay, here's my solution.
We should just have a shot clock on the replays.

Speaker 1 Because that would be thrilling. If the ref only has a certain amount of time and you get Jay Billis to shut up and you basically, like, if they can't find the replay fast enough, guess what?

Speaker 1 Tough shit.

Speaker 1 And get the home crowd involved. That, like, if it's an away, if they're reviewing a call that might go for the away team, the home crowd starts like, five, four, four, three, two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be great. And maybe he has like one flag in one hand and the other and he raises it up and everyone's like, oh my God, that's going that way.
Or or booze everywhere. I like that idea.

Speaker 1 Also, the replay should be done in standard definition. So that's a very easy way to rewind the clock on that.
Because it's the whole Roger Goodell thing. What would 20 drunk guys in a bar call this?

Speaker 1 A catch or not?

Speaker 1 Going back to standard definition makes you feel like you're intoxicated already. It's blurry as shit.
That would be actually a great way to tell.

Speaker 1 Or the other way you could do it is just don't listen to Twitter ever because no matter what, someone's going to complain about something.

Speaker 1 Now, and to prove your point, the other thing that's come under fire recently is the one thing that I thought was the most universally loved part of college basketball, and that is our one shining moment.

Speaker 1 So, Jimmy Kimmel is squatting on the take. I think he's squatting.
I don't think he actually means it yet.

Speaker 1 This seems like a premature take squat in his point, in which case, I will take off my hat and say, do your thing, sir.

Speaker 1 But he said that one shining moment lived out its one shining moment 15 years ago. Whoa.
That

Speaker 1 it's not cool anymore. And then you have to.
But that's when Jimmy stopped being a guys guy. Wait, that's when he won off the man show.
That's when Damashaka. Hold on.
Yeah. Hold on.

Speaker 1 People are saying that the song we listen to once in an entire year is bad now? Yeah. Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, they're burned out on it. Dude, we listened to it once.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But Christmas Carols Can't Be Played? Jimmy's going to be like, let's replace it with Old Town Road. That fucking Mariah Carey song, the stupid Paul McCartney song, the glove.

Speaker 1 Let them know.

Speaker 1 Christmas time. Wonderful Christmas time.

Speaker 1 That song sucks, but you know what? When it's December, you listen to it. You know what song I'm sick of? Is Old Lang Zion on New Year's.
Come on. This is a terrible take by Jimmy Kimmel.

Speaker 1 This is a true not-sports fan take, except for the fact that Darren Revelle ruined it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so well, there's the other part of this, which is other journalists were getting upset that during this year's One Shining Moment, they left in some of the announcers talking over it instead of just showing it.

Speaker 1 So it was kind of like, respect the biz. One Shining Moment should strictly be instrumental at all times.
Everything sucks now. And people were mad that there was too much Zion in it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the remix of One Shining Moment this year was trash. To quote my friend Ice T, did you guys see his tweet yesterday? Yeah, that's the way to do it.

Speaker 1 Get on Twitter, talk a little shit, get off, back to life.

Speaker 1 That's what you got to do. Because One Shining Moment is great, minus the Darren Revelle being like the thirst.
Darren Revelle is the thirstiest man on Twitter. Can I make a recommendation?

Speaker 1 Because he's gotten so, so thirsty.

Speaker 1 He literally stands by a water cooler. This turned out as perfect for Darren as it possibly could have.
He played us all like little marionettes. That's why I refused to tweet about it.

Speaker 1 I think I didn't. I don't know if you didn't tweet about it.
Okay, good.

Speaker 1 We're not using his name anymore on the show. Okay.
We're not giving him the attention he so very deeply craves.

Speaker 1 He can still come on the show if he gets on his knees, makes a video, and sends it to Hank. But other than that.
Wait, is that the rule? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's going to do that yesterday. No, he won't.
He's going to do that on hard. No, he's too shook.
He's too shook. He won't.
He won't.

Speaker 1 He thinks he's going to wait it out. Right.
We've put him in a corner because we've given him what he wants, but he has to degrade himself. And he won't do it.

Speaker 1 But he really thinks that we'll just wait and eventually we'll be like, oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 come on the show, dude. I think he'll be totally fine.
He hasn't done it yet. He knows this is out there.
You know what's going to be weird also is the orange vanilla Coke commercials.

Speaker 1 Those are gone now, I have to assume. But you know what? We're going to be wrong.
We're probably going to see him again in...

Speaker 1 the NBA playoffs or the NHL. They'll figure out a way.

Speaker 1 They should have just made this a limited time deal. Buy your orange vanilla Coke during March, and then let's all forget this nightmare ever happened.
I'm drinking it, which is disgusting.

Speaker 1 I'm drinking orange vanilla zero sugar. Why would you do that? Because I had it in my reservoirs, and I got to deplete my stash for March until I can totally move on.
It's April. We sleep in May.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, emergency, late-breaking, this league bonus part of this podcast. We're going to slip it in right in the middle of the show.
We're going to slip it right in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you won't even know it's there. PFT, this league.
Holy shit. Let's just say this league for 10 minutes back in the day.
This league. This league.
Oh, my God. This league.
The NBA. This league.

Speaker 1 Nothing like it. It actually was an insane night.

Speaker 1 So, Magic Johnson, before Dwayne Wade and Dirk Davitsky play their last game in the NBA and have an unbelievable send-off, both scoring 30 points, Magic Johnson steals the whole night and announces that he is stepping down as president of basketball operations for the Lakers,

Speaker 1 not telling Genie Buss directly, just doing a press conference and saying, oh, yeah, I'm not going to be here anymore. And it's the weirdest, most magic, most, I don't even know.
It's this league.

Speaker 1 We all thought when he did it, we're like, oh, he is upset because he can't tamper as president. And so he wants to retire to spend more time with his tampering.
And then he literally said that. Yes.

Speaker 1 He was like, I want to be a free bird. Right now I'm a caged bird, and I'm not allowed to hit up Russell Westbrook and say, hey, congrats on the 20-20-20.

Speaker 1 I can't contact other stars in the league until I'm proud of him. I can't work out with Ben Simmons and hang out with, you know, with Embiid and do all this new, you know, cool stuff.

Speaker 1 This is rock bottom for his tampering addiction. It really is.
It's like you're in a meeting. Tell me about your rock bottom.

Speaker 1 I got so addicted to tampering that I quit my job as president of the Los Angeles Latin.

Speaker 1 He's been sitting there with the phone open and the Twitter app open being like, I just want to say congratulations, Dwayne, on a great career. But I can't because I've been tampering.

Speaker 1 And that's the best part is that he could do that. He just tampered so hard.

Speaker 1 And remember the Jimmy Kimmel stuff that now he's scared and he has to quit his job so that he can go back to tampering but he actually quit because this is very magic like it's the it's the most absurd move to quit not tell your boss Be in meetings the day before and that was the famous like I'm not gonna be here next year quote right he's talking about a meeting he was in yesterday where they were talking about the future of the team and he was just going like yup yep good plan good plan and then back to

Speaker 1 out. Not gonna be here.
But by the way, that's an awesome feeling.

Speaker 1 If you've ever known that you're gonna leave a job and you're in those meetings, holy shit, and you're just totally checked out and you feel great about it.

Speaker 1 Someone's like, hey, can you make sure that we take care of this big project? It's like, yep, sure. Yeah, I'll take the lead on that.

Speaker 1 But this is also like, so it's, it's crazy, but at the same time, completely Magic Johnson because this is his move. He is

Speaker 1 a rich, famous person who can get any job in the world. And I think every now and then he's like, hey, that would be fun.
It'd be fun to be, you know, on TV. It'd be fun to be president of the Lakers.

Speaker 1 And then after, I don't know, six months, year, two years, he's like, wait, why do I have a job? Yeah, I don't need a job. I'm like,

Speaker 1 you just own a bunch of Starbucks and movie theater. He's like a billionaire, literally a billionaire, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So

Speaker 1 I think what happened with Magic was he got to the part of his job where he has to do it all over again. And you can love doing your job.
Right?

Speaker 1 You can absolutely love certain parts and tasks in your job. But once you're done with a certain part of it and you have to start over and do it all over again,

Speaker 1 if you are like, oh shit, this sucks, eventually that's going to wear you down. You're going to want to leave that job.
So he gets to the end of a season.

Speaker 1 He probably likes it during the season when he's making calls, trying to get Anthony Davis. I don't even think he's doing that.
Yeah, but whatever he does during the season, going to games.

Speaker 1 Going to Michigan State games and pretending it's scouting. Yeah, so he likes going to Michigan State games.
He likes going to games at the Staples Center when they're good.

Speaker 1 Those are the fun parts of his job. Then the season's over and he's, it's like, oh shit, it just dawns on him.
I have to do all the draft stuff again. I have to get LeBron a star.

Speaker 1 I got to go to Summer League games.

Speaker 1 Which he wouldn't do any of that stuff. He probably wouldn't do.
But there are certain things about a job where you can really enjoy part of the process.

Speaker 1 But then when it's time to repeat it, you're just like, shit, this is not for me. It's like,

Speaker 1 anyone can sell a Christmas tree the day after. Thanksgiving.
It takes a man to sell a Christmas tree on December 26th. That's true.
And

Speaker 1 he probably wasn't going to do any of that stuff anyway, but he probably was like, I have to come up with an excuse why I don't want to go to summer league and why I can't get LeBron another star and why I screwed up.

Speaker 1 So his legacy,

Speaker 1 it also is perfect timing because he was just starting to get the hot seat. Like the Paul George thing was kind of a debacle.
The Anthony Davis thing was kind of a debacle.

Speaker 1 Like he obviously gets LeBron, but he can't get him another star. He does the

Speaker 1 Zubach for Mescala trade, everyone hated. The D'Angelo Russell thing has become a debacle because D'Angelo Russell is a true star now.

Speaker 1 So it's like just as the seat gets a little warm and he knows that LeBron will probably fire him

Speaker 1 in like the next few months. He's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
I'm going on my yacht. I'm going on vacation with Cookie and it's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Do you actually think that LeBron James is going to fire Magic? I think LeBron is going to fire everyone if they don't get another star. I don't think he would have fired Magic.

Speaker 1 I think LeBron's scared of Magic. I think he Magic is one of the guys that he sees as untouchable.
Because Magic can finance Space Jam three, 3, 4, and 5 all on his own. He can just cut a check.

Speaker 1 I think LeBron is at the point, if they don't get another star, every head is rolling there.

Speaker 1 He is going to, he'll go all the way up the ladder. He'll probably tell Genie Buss she's fired.
My theory, yeah, he'll try. Yeah, just be like, you're fired.
And see if he shows up again.

Speaker 1 My theory is that Magic quit the way that he did because he was afraid that Genie Buss was going to talk him out of it.

Speaker 1 Oh, the classic, like,

Speaker 1 I didn't want Genie Buss to say, hey, Magic, we really need you. This is a good thing we're doing here.
Yeah, yeah, because I think Magic likes Genie enough. You said that to Rachel Nichols.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen the interview yet. Sorry, Rachel.
That was a good call. Also, shout out, Rachel.
PFT, good call. Yeah, first reported.
I'm still in Hong Kong time.

Speaker 1 My body's jet lag, so I actually reported that 12 hours ago. From Magic Johnson's mouth to PFT's ears via Rachel Nichols.
Yes. First reported by you.
Got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so insane that Magic Johnson says all this stuff.

Speaker 1 Walks away, dumpster fire.

Speaker 1 They threw like Luke Walton under the bus.

Speaker 1 It's throw Luke Walton under the bus season. He basically, if you want to take a shot at anyone, just take it at Luke Walton.
But he actually got a longer stay now because of it. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like he thought he was going to be fired today. He would have been fired yesterday.
You mean like probably like by four days.

Speaker 1 You know what it's like, I mean, or you don't know what it's like, but if you're thinking you're going to get fired, it's always good when you don't get fired. Right.
That's true.

Speaker 1 We should bring up, though, the fact that it is completely hilarious that Magic Johnson did that. He could have done this at any point.
He does it an hour before,

Speaker 1 before the Lakers game, and also during Dirk and Dwayne Wade's retirement last game, completely stealing the scene from them. And it was an all-time this league night.

Speaker 1 Dwayne Wade and Dirk, that was actually a really nice.

Speaker 1 They both had good nights, good send-offs. Jamal Crawford scored 50 points,

Speaker 1 first player to do it with four different teams, which is awesome. And then the other this league moment, Anthony Davis wearing a that's all all folks shirt.
I saw that, yeah. And also

Speaker 1 Steph Curry getting his yearly sprained ankle so that now when the playoffs start, we can say, is Steph really 100% if he starts sucking?

Speaker 1 That was actually the perfect timing for him to roll his ankle. KD is very excited about this new update.
KD is so, so pumped.

Speaker 1 Who rolled harder, Steph's ankle or my eyes when I saw that Steph rolled his ankle and everyone's going to be like, well, Steph,

Speaker 1 when he goes like, you know, two for 12 in the first round, well, he's not 100%, guys.

Speaker 1 i'm just saying steph maybe it's time that you consider having your signature shoe be a high top yeah or ankle braces or just ankle braces

Speaker 1 they look pretty sweet yeah i just want to do it kind of to a hand-up segment yeah

Speaker 1 i got home i turned on the span i was watching it wasn't the budweiser commercial but it was like a dwayne wade tribute video we knew you wait this is gonna go in before this Oh, so this is even crazier.

Speaker 1 So here's for you. Yeah, pre-apologize.
Yeah, that's where you apologize.

Speaker 1 But then I watched the highlights, and when I realized that Dwayne Wade has every heat record, I realized that ruins LeBron legacy even more. So

Speaker 1 I kind of came down off my Dwayne Wade hate. Okay, so

Speaker 1 LeBron's not even the best. He wasn't even the best heat player of all time.
You're not going to be the best Laker of all time. Right.
To the Cavs, who cares about the Cavs? Oh, wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 So what Hank's doing right now, he's pre-apologizing for a take that he'll have later on in the show where he says essentially that the Dwayne Wade commercial sucked and that he doesn't like Dwayne Wade and that Dwayne Wade should dine a fire.

Speaker 1 It's actually a really good take, though, Hank, because when you think about it, when someone says, oh, all-time Cav record books, you're like, who cares?

Speaker 1 But he actually, you know, won a bunch of people. Of course it's LeBron James.
Right, of course. He's the only player that's played in Cleveland for that many years.
Yes, yes. That's actually.

Speaker 1 He's like Mark Price and LeBron James. So yeah, tune in for a minute now.

Speaker 1 Hank is going to bash Dwayne Wade, the commercial he did.

Speaker 1 And his son. And his son.
His son, yeah. And all that stuff.
But yeah, all-time this league moment. Stay woke.
Magic Johnson retiring like 12 hours before the Masters Part 3 tournament.

Speaker 1 Oh, he'll be at the Masters. He's going to Augusta.
Oh, he'll be at the Mass.

Speaker 1 This was all sped up by the approaching arrival of the Masters. And how about the NBA playoffs? He wants to go to games.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If the Lakers had made the playoffs, Magic probably would have kept the job because he'd been like, you know what? I get to go to a few games. No, he wants to go to some games.

Speaker 1 Does Magic go to any Clippers games?

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Yes. Because he's, remember, remember the classic,

Speaker 1 what's the fucking, what's the old racist guy's name? Donald Sterling. Okay.
Remember Remember the classic interview?

Speaker 1 You could have gone to any number of ways to that one. When he's like, what is big Magic Johnson? What has he done? He's got AIDS.
Remember that?

Speaker 1 That was like his last interview ever. So yeah, I do think there was rumors at the time that Magic Johnson wanted to buy the Clippers.

Speaker 1 It's such a fucking preposterous clip. But Magic Johnson definitely, because this is what's going to happen in the next year or two, Magic's going to be like, wait, I want another job.

Speaker 1 So maybe I'll just buy a team. Yeah.
And then he'll someday just sell the team in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 Well, no, we'll wait till maybe LeBron retires and then he'll announce right before he retires that he's selling whatever team he does buy and steals that spotlight. Yep.
So good job, Magic. Okay.

Speaker 1 That was an emergency update. I think we got to the bottom of everything.
Yeah, now back to the regular scheduled show. If you listen to this, you have the updated one.

Speaker 1 If you aren't listening to this right now, you're trapped in a time portal. Attention to everyone who's not listening to this right now.
Redownload. Yes, re-download.
But you can't hear this.

Speaker 1 Hot seat, cool throne. You want to do it? Sure.
All right, let's do it.

Speaker 1 Hank. Okay, thanks.
My hot seat is Space Jam 2. Oh, no.
The movie, which I don't know if you guys knew, it's being executive produced and starring LeBron James. Okay.

Speaker 1 He's having a very hard time recruiting co-stars to join the movie.

Speaker 1 He's scared he'll alienate them and sub-tweet them on Space Jam Instagram or whatever?

Speaker 1 He just thought that he was going to sign up for the movie, and since all the players, you know, they probably watch it growing up, they idolize MJ, that everyone would want to do it because, you know, he's LeBron.

Speaker 1 But apparently, that's not the case. Giannis, Giannis, people get mad at me when I say Giannis, but I like saying it, Giannis,

Speaker 1 best player in the world, probably.

Speaker 1 He denied him. He said

Speaker 1 he doesn't like being Hollywood. He doesn't want to do it.

Speaker 1 And I guess there's been a ton of other players because, you know, they don't, they're worried about if they go to the movie, then they're going to have to potentially play with him on his team.

Speaker 1 And he might alienate them and not pass them. So he's having trouble recruiting for his movie and for his basketball.
So which one takes precedent? That's the question. That is the question.

Speaker 1 What would the most hilarious team of Space Jam 2 be? Well, I Carmelo? Yeah, Carmelo, because it's not coming out till 2021. So, by the time it comes out, it'd be like, who's that guy? Kyle Corver.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Carmelo, Kyle Corver, probably Dirk and Dwayne Wade both are going to be on the team. Dallas Hazm.
Dirk would never do it. Has him definitely will be there.
Not Chris Bosch anymore. Nope.

Speaker 1 Not after that happened last season.

Speaker 1 Oh, what about what's his name?

Speaker 1 Tylou. Tylou will probably be on the team.

Speaker 1 What was his brother for life?

Speaker 1 Damon

Speaker 1 from

Speaker 1 way back in the Cavs.

Speaker 1 Was it Damon Jones? Damon Jones, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He'd be on. De Lante? Don't lie.
His real brother for life. Yeah, Damon Jones.
Well, no, his uncle for life. True.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but actually, if LeBron wants a little tip for you, LeBron, if you want to fill your Space Jam 2 roster with guys you want to watch, just get every coach that you've gotten fired, and we'll watch it.

Speaker 1 Like, I'd watch Space Jam 2 with starting center David Blatt, point guard Ty Lou, power forward Mike Brown, like Luke Walton not even there because he got so fired.

Speaker 1 Eric Spolstra with Pat Riley's hand up his butt. It'd be great.

Speaker 1 I'll watch that.

Speaker 1 It is kind of a rock and a hard place because Blake Griffin, you know, he would be good in the movie. He's a good actor, and he'd probably be good in that role.

Speaker 1 But I hope he turns him down. I think if we took your suggestion, Big Cat, except didn't even have it on a basketball court and just had those guys in a room.
Boardroom. Boardroom.
Barbershop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Barbershop 2, they they give sick haircuts. Yeah, and it's just those coaches in a room talking shit about LeBron James.
I would watch the hell out of it. I would watch Space Jam 2.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Bestseller of all time. And then just remind everyone, because they remind everyone that R.
Kelly was part of Space Jam 1, so you can get that canceled again.

Speaker 1 And then Space Jam 2 will be great. I hope cartoon characters start to disavow his team, too.
I hope Bugs Bunny's like, I can't make it. Yes.
I got a lot of prior commitments.

Speaker 1 There's also, they're filming it over the course of two summers, so if they get like a shitty cast, that's going to weigh on them for the entire course of the next year oh yeah oh yeah uh my cool throne is just hype entertainment people there's so much shit going on that i feel like every single day like everyone's excited but there's like 10 different things that they're going to be excited for no it's not a bad thing like there's just a lot of good shit coming down the pipeline there we might there's people whole town road has been awesome old town road although i'm uh whoa you're yelling

Speaker 1 when you're at cowboy jacks they played it like literally on recap every and it's only a minute long um this was fucking weird i didn't even mention this this.

Speaker 1 At the rugby tournament in Hong Kong, they're obsessed with David Hasselhoff. That makes sense.
They played that one David Hasselhoff song. This is no joke over the course of two days.

Speaker 1 They played it literally 70 times. He's like the biggest pop star in German history, right? Yeah, but this is Hong Kong.
Yeah, I know, but Germans are everywhere. It was fun to sing along with him.

Speaker 1 I'll give him that. But then the Masters, I feel like that's the thing that people, you know, it's a great tournament, but people get over-hyped for it, whereas they don't really care about golf.

Speaker 1 I disagree. They don't care.
People don't care about golf. You can't overhypy your microphone take your microphone off.
That's a bad take. The Masters

Speaker 1 of All. No, no, no.
My Cool Throne is hype, so you're a bad take. I'm saying the Masters is on.

Speaker 1 Game of Thrones, obviously, everyone's freaking out about it. We're only a week away.
Can't wait. And then Avengers Endgame.

Speaker 1 I feel like they release clips from that movie every day. They're just putting out the movie.
Okay, so wait, I want to make sure that we're on the same page here.

Speaker 1 Hype is good, but you're saying that the things that are getting over-hyped right now are in danger of being bad. Hype is on the cool throne.
There's a lot of hype out there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But some hype is too much hype.

Speaker 1 I would say that the Masters hype that people are like, oh, I can't. Oh, yeah.
That's a bad take. Yeah.
I can't wait to like...

Speaker 1 People don't watch them. They watch on Sunday.
You know what, Hank? No, they watch. Oh,

Speaker 1 listen, I take it. Yeah.
Bad take it. They watch all weekend.
It's great. It's the perfect

Speaker 1 color green on the greens and the fairways

Speaker 1 and Augusta. That is the perfect Pantone for putting dads to sleep.
Oh, Hank. So you guys are hyped.
Oh, I'm very hyped about relaxing and watching Masters. Very hyped.
Very hyped.

Speaker 1 And actually, we should mention, do you have Patrick Reed's menu anywhere on your hot seat?

Speaker 1 Okay, go on. Go.
All right.

Speaker 1 My hot seat is carbs, fats, and sodium for me personally. Okay.
Because I'm on a diet. It's time for a diet.
This is, I think, the first time I've actually ever been on a diet in my adult life.

Speaker 1 That's not true. Well, we were keto for a while.
You've done it like four times. Weird show.
Yeah, but we didn't really follow through. And this time I'm going to follow through.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Besides the kettle. So what day is it? The keto one.

Speaker 1 You've definitely been on the diet. Tuesday night.

Speaker 1 No, but day one of your diet. This is day one.
Okay. All right.
It's day one of my diet. Checking in a week.
Yeah, check it in a week. Well, listen, Hank,

Speaker 1 I caught a very bad

Speaker 1 visual. I caught the worst visual of myself I've ever seen on a Jumbotron.

Speaker 1 And you think the camera adds 20 pounds, like being on a Jumbotron with your shirt off, with your belly hanging over your shorts,

Speaker 1 the camera adds like 1.5 Kelvin Benjamins when you're on a shot. I don't like when you do the diet thing because you're not in bad shape.
You're actually in good shape.

Speaker 1 This, again. No, I'm not.
Listen,

Speaker 1 people who struggle with their weight, you don't appropriate the colour. You want me to show you a picture? I've seen the picture.
You look just like you've looked for the last year.

Speaker 1 I don't think that you've seen the new picture. Oh, it's taken from far away.
No, I saw it. Yeah, I saw it.
Well, it was one of those moments where I saw it. I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 Okay, anyways, no more sodas after I'm done with this one.

Speaker 1 No more beers. As a matter of fact.
That's such a, like,

Speaker 1 this isn't even a segment. This isn't even a real.
This is just your week. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're not going to stop drinking beer. I am.
I'm going claws up for the caps this year. I was talking to Liam about this earlier.
We're drinking white claws only. That's like sugary as shit.

Speaker 1 Claws up. No, it's not.
Low sugar.

Speaker 1 I'm going the seltzer flavor. Claws up.
That's what I'm doing. Got it.
Caps year. That looks like the TCU horn frog.
This is claw. Claws up.

Speaker 1 Meow. Claws up.
So that, okay.

Speaker 1 I would like some support because I am serious about this. You don't need to die it.
I'll let you know when you need to diet. You are not going to be.
You're fine. Yes, you're fine.
You're fine.

Speaker 1 You got a little bit of a belly that you're sticking out right now.

Speaker 1 I'm not sticking it out. That's a problem.
You're fine. I'm not.
You need a new belt, is what you need. Yeah, I just found this one.
It looks like a middle school belt. Yeah, it is.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'd just like a little bit more support because I am serious about this time. When you get fat, I'll give you support.

Speaker 1 If you go on a diet for more than 10 days, I'll take you seriously. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Thanks, guys.

Speaker 1 My cool throne is all the former Masters Champions because Patrick Reed put together a hell of a menu for them.

Speaker 1 He basically, this is the type of menu that you would plan if you're like 19 years old and you had a graduation dinner and you just know that you like steak and then you like every single vegetable with cream.

Speaker 1 How many cream things did he have? He's got two cream things.

Speaker 1 So he's got Caesar salad wedge salad, which they made him do. Yeah, and he's probably had a Caesar before and he's like, okay,

Speaker 1 that's fine. That's a good sauce.
Yeah, I like the coupons.

Speaker 1 He's got Prime bonin cowboy ribeye, and then he's got mac and cheese, cream spinach,

Speaker 1 corn creme boulet, and then steamed broccoli, which someone held a gun to his head to get that steamed broccoli on there. No, his mom was just like, hey, Patrick, I like broccoli.

Speaker 1 He's like, fine, mom, we'll order one. Well, yeah, he doesn't speak to his mom.
Oh, really? Yeah, remember? Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 But his mom still came to his defense. Correct.

Speaker 1 He kicked his parents out of a fucking tournament one time.

Speaker 1 That probably got her back in his good graces just so that she could ask for the broccoli on on the menu.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, he's gonna hide the broccoli under a napkin. Yeah.
No way does he want that broccoli.

Speaker 1 No, he's a guy that like takes one bite and then spits it into the napkin and then throws it on the floor. I'm surprised.

Speaker 1 If I were to plan Patrick Reed's master's menu from what I know about Patrick Reed, I would think it would just be all these catering trays and then they're just filled with smearing off ices.

Speaker 1 And he just ices everybody that's that's after dinner with him. Maybe some pigs in a blanket.

Speaker 1 For himself. For himself.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is hilarious. This menu really is like

Speaker 1 what like a 14-year-old would think an adult's menu looks like. Yes.
He basically was forced to be like, well, I like steak and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised chicken fingers weren't on here.

Speaker 1 They're like, no, you can't do that, Patrick. Please.
It doesn't say anything about drinks, does it?

Speaker 1 Yes, it has a couple bottles of wine. Okay.
He's got a Chardonnay and a cab

Speaker 1 option. And then the dessert is weird.
It's Tiramisu. Tiramasu is overrated by the way.

Speaker 1 Depends on where you're going. It depends on where you're going.
Vanilla bean, creme brulee, chocolate crunch, and praline cheesecake.

Speaker 1 See,

Speaker 1 I would have thought Patrick would just go straight cereal for dessert. Yeah, or various types of count chocolate.
Or just pass out

Speaker 1 bottles of chocolate syrup and glasses of milk. Like

Speaker 1 make your own chocolate milk. Yeah, and that's a little life factor.
If you're having a wedding or any sort of formal occasion, just call it a bar.

Speaker 1 And the trick is you make everybody actually make their own food for themselves, but you call it a bar, so it seems fun. It's like, hey, we got a chocolate milk bar.
We got a cheesecake bar.

Speaker 1 Cheesecake bar, guys. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 You even have an oven that you have to put it in and wait for four hours. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, you got anything else? No, that's it. All right.
I had some more, but you know what?

Speaker 1 Go ahead. No, no, I'm fine.
No, go ahead. I'm fine.
I just don't feel supportive. Go ahead, PFT.
We hope you do well on your diet. No, you don't.
Yeah, I don't think you believe that.

Speaker 1 I want you to do well on your diet.

Speaker 1 You're not in bad shape, so

Speaker 1 good luck on your diet. I'm like 30 pounds heavier than than I've been in my life.

Speaker 1 I don't believe that. You haven't changed.
You look the exact same. Thank you.
I appreciate that. Okay, so you're good.
There you go. That compliment should propel you.
So what else you have?

Speaker 1 You're going to grow a playoff beard? Yeah, I am. I'm growing a playoff beard right now.
Nice. Claws up for the caps in the playoffs.
Nice.

Speaker 1 What else you got? My other hots, or my other cool throne is bees.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if you guys saw the story today. They found a colony of bees living inside a woman's face.

Speaker 1 And she thought that it was like a sinus infection. What? And they were feeding.
Yeah, I wish you hadn't done it. They were feeding on her tears.

Speaker 1 PFT, you're fat, and you're going to get in good shape. That's not real.
That's not real. It is real.
Nope. Nope.
Nope. Nope.
You want to bet? Fuck that. Nope.
All right. Buy a hot seat.

Speaker 1 I can't do that. I know.
I don't. There's no way there was literally

Speaker 1 flying inside of someone's face.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you. Yeah, I was right calling that single hornet thing out because these fuckers are resourceful.
Okay.

Speaker 1 In

Speaker 1 Taiwan, what was originally...

Speaker 1 Ow, come on. What?

Speaker 1 I was just over next to Taiwan. It could have been me.
Yeah, it could have. What was originally thought to be an eye infection turned out to be something far worse.

Speaker 1 Instead of treating an infection, doctors at the University Hospital in Taiwan were shocked to find four bees embedded in the eye of a 29-year-old Taiwanese man. This is not real.
This is clickbait.

Speaker 1 They love to do this. It's smart.

Speaker 1 We should be doing it to them. Like anywhere else, they can just clickbait us with fake stories that make us go, ugh.
I'm pretty sure it's real. If I'm wrong, I'm going to blame the time difference.

Speaker 1 My body's very confused right now. Again, just got back yesterday.
I feel like Andy Reid is managing my body clock right now. It's struggling.
That's how confused I am.

Speaker 1 It was worse, a flight there, a flight back. Flight back, by far.
I would have been. Chris Flight Back, I was sitting in straight-up coach

Speaker 1 for 16 hours. Oh.
Yeah, that was very...

Speaker 1 I watched a bunch of movies. If anybody out there has seen The Lobster, what the fuck? That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life.
Who's in it? Colin Farrell.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? It was tough. No, it was bad.
I like him too uh all right my hot seat is I got two Chris Davis on the Orioles 0 for 49

Speaker 1 MLB record 0 for 49 he's dude that's insane I actually feel bad for those are Bryce Harper like stats for the month of late May early June 0 for 49 in a row I thought the record might be a little bit bigger than that I did too but I guess that's I guess not because

Speaker 1 That's a lot of plate appearances. Like, that's, I mean, that's, what, like 12, 13 games? That's a lot of games to not get one hit.
Does he have any walks or fielders' choices?

Speaker 1 I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 I think he has a couple RBIs. Because maybe he's over 28 this season.
So it dates back to last year. Over 28 this season with 15 strikeouts.
Okay. That's insane.
But he does have some RBIs.

Speaker 1 So these are productive outs that he's getting. It's productive over 49.
All right, that's fair.

Speaker 1 My other hot seat is us because we said that we were sick of the Dwayne Wade retirement party, and then he dropped an absolute awesome video that just grabbed at all of our heartstrings.

Speaker 1 Hank, you have not watched the video? No. So give us your hottest take about the video that you're going to really regret when you do watch the video.
I don't really have a hot take about the video.

Speaker 1 I just think, you know, Dwayne Wade's overrated. But the video.
Couldn't even make the player out there. Some things are bigger than sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not, I mean, that's Budweiser. Like, Budweiser paid a lot of money.
They're really good at heartstring commercials. They're very good at

Speaker 1 the Clydesdale. No, I'm saying Budweiser is great.
They made someone like Dwayne Wade seem really likable. They made people like.
Yeah, but he, like, it was the things that he did.

Speaker 1 someone like dwayne wade do you think that dwayne wade's a very unlikable person yeah kind of why i don't think so just gets his butt eaten he smiles he he's very fast he kind of alphas lebron yeah he wasn't you should like dwayne wade out of anyone

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 i'm ready for him to be done i don't i don't like the whole retirement tour thing again you have not seen the video and i think when you see the video you realize you're being an asshole i just don't like anyone that's come in contact with lebron

Speaker 1 yeah i mean i'm i'm excited i'm i Like, after his son was talking shit about Paul Pierce, his son's in high school. Like, who is he to talk shit about a future first-round first ballot hall of famer?

Speaker 1 I'm excited to be rooting against Dwayne Wade's son when he comes in the NBA. Zaire? Zaire.
Zaire Wade.

Speaker 1 I'm already ready. I got my hate.
You already got my hate fired up. Yeah.
Okay. My cool throne is the New York Knicks.
So the New York Knicks have signed Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving.

Speaker 1 It's a done deal, some people are saying. All that is left is for them to decide who signs first because apparently the person who signs second looks like a follower.
Ooh. That is an actual report

Speaker 1 that was written about.

Speaker 1 Frank Isola wrote it.

Speaker 1 So he said, so sure are some executives and players, player agents of a Durant-Irving pairing in New York that one agent told the athletic that Durant and Irving are debating on who will sign first.

Speaker 1 Why is that important? The player that has signed second is viewed as the follower, not the leader. Oh, my God.
They got to get simultaneously.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they got a.

Speaker 1 They should just. Here's what they should do.
You can add somebody on an Instagram Live, and so they should just do a simultaneous live.

Speaker 1 Who starts the Instagram Live?

Speaker 1 That's another trick. That's tough.
How many people can you add on Instagram Live? I don't know. I think there's one.
Just one.

Speaker 1 So you can't have, like, you can't have Dwayne, or you can't have James Dolan start it and then add, well, KD definitely doesn't follow James Dolan on Instagram.

Speaker 1 No, but I love that this is now a thing. Yeah.
Where the super teams, we're so deep into super teams that we have to, we're just debating who signs first.

Speaker 1 Now, are the Knicks a super team if they get those two guys? And Zion.

Speaker 1 Just those two guys, though. And Zion? Just those two.
Yeah. I don't

Speaker 1 super team. I think you need to go through the three.
They'll get a three. They'll get someone else.

Speaker 1 Jesus Mary and Joseph. Is Von Asser still on the threes? Ron Baker, the money maker? I think so.
All right, so there's your super team. Okay.
Boom. Done.
You need that hair.

Speaker 1 You need that one guy with the hair. Charles Oakley should come back.
I truly believe that.

Speaker 1 If you get Kyrie and KD on the Knicks and then bring back Charles Oakley for no reason, but you just kick anybody's ass that talks trash to them, just stare at people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just yeah, he doesn't even have to do anything. I'm all in on the Knicks if that happens.
Yeah, I'd agree with that. All right, let's get to our interviews.

Speaker 1 First up, we got Chris Long, who was at the national championship game last night. He is a Virginia grad.
He's very, very excited for his Who's, who have won the national title.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to do Blake Bortles before we do that.

Speaker 4 Fall's here. Kids are back in school.
Vacations are over. And Cozy season is officially on.
You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 4 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 4 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 4 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com/slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 We also are brought to you by our friends at Peloton.

Speaker 1 Guess what, guys? Summer season's almost here. You got to get in that good shape.
Well, Peloton is revolutionizing how you get in shape with cycling classes. You can do in your own home.

Speaker 1 The Peloton bike will make you rethink the way you look at cycling classes. It's an immersive, empowering, heart-pounding cardio experience.

Speaker 1 You have to try to believe, work up a sweat with world-class instructors riding right by your side, get real-time motivation and coaching from a roster of unique styles and personalities.

Speaker 1 Keep your workout fresh. Change up your cardio with rides that span a variety of lengths, difficulty levels, themes, and music genres.

Speaker 1 Up to 12 live classes daily, and thousands on demand are waiting so you can stay motivated, compete with yourself and everyone else on the live class leaderboard with real-time performance metrics.

Speaker 1 Track your calories, resistance, cadence, output, and heart rate. PFT and I both have Peloton bikes in our living room.
We love them. Peloton is offering a limited-time offer.

Speaker 1 Get $100 off accessories when you purchase the Peloton bike and get a great cardio workout at home. Go to onepeloton.com.

Speaker 1 That's you got to spell out onepeloton.com and use promo code PMT to get started today. Again, that's Peloton.
Get $100 off accessories. 1Peloton.com.
Use code PMT and you get started today.

Speaker 1 Get back in shape. PFT is going to be on a diet.
He's going to use his Peloton. Do it right now.
1Peloton.com and use that promo code PMT. Okay, here he is, Chris Long.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, national champion, Chris Long. He played at Virginia.
Virginia is his home. He's a two-time Super Bowl champion.
Chris, you were at the game.

Speaker 1 I want to go a two-part question to start. Explain the scene, your feelings, the entire emotion, and then also tell us which botch call by the refs helped Virginia win the title the most.

Speaker 5 Well, my emotions were more like relief than anything. I mean, being a Virginia fan, I mean, it's like a lot of people that are just tuning in

Speaker 5 to being, you know, Virginia sports

Speaker 5 fan are realizing that we got some lucky breaks this year, which is like totally counter to the entire history of our athletic program. So we're not generally a lucky team.

Speaker 5 We've gotten some lucky breaks,

Speaker 5 but it was more like a relief for me. I mean, no national championships in football or basketball, you know, waiting my entire life as a UVA fan to see that.

Speaker 5 So I know a lot of my buddies who were there were ecstatic. They were also relieved.
But here's the thing. I mean, like, people are jumping.

Speaker 5 And you know, you've been texting me, like, stop arguing, dude. Like, you won the national championship.

Speaker 5 But I'm reading articles, bro,

Speaker 5 that are like...

Speaker 5 Like people are mad last night that they went to the replay and got the call right when the ball went off that cat's pinky.

Speaker 5 Like, like, there are tweets where people are like,

Speaker 5 why would they do that? It was just as pinky. I'm like, all right, we get it.
They missed the double dribble, which no one saw

Speaker 5 over the weekend. No one saw until Steratory got on and talked about it.

Speaker 5 But they also missed Auburn traveling on the inbound with 19 seconds to go.

Speaker 5 I think people, did you see that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, now I will go back and look because we've got to make sure we've got to protect Virginia's title and get it right.

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, you know, I just like to argue, but like generally, you know, my point was, listen, they missed the double dribble, but let's not act like we all saw that.

Speaker 5 I mean, if you saw it, great, more power to you. But most people weren't tweeting or talking about it until after the game.
That's true.

Speaker 5 And then the bad foul. I mean, it's a foul, and it should be called nine out of ten times in that situation on the three-pointer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 5 So, I think, and that pissed people off. So, I think last night they were really looking for stuff.

Speaker 5 And that play that went to the review, you know, everybody that just two days ago was saying we need to get every call within two inside two minutes right is all of a sudden anti-replay. Right.

Speaker 5 So, I just, you know, listen, like, I know people have a lot of resentment for the pace of play,

Speaker 5 you know, the low scoring,

Speaker 5 And they might not like us because we've been pretty good, and we've had a history of some tournament mishaps, and obviously UNBC, but I mean, whatever. I mean, like, you know,

Speaker 5 we're hated now. We're a blue blood.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's watch that with us. Slow it down there, bro.
Maybe from all the inbreeding, but not yet. Yeah.
Slow it down.

Speaker 1 Also, Chris, I mean, I just want to say, first of all, I hope you can get past all those articles and start to enjoy the national championship.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 But at the same time, let me ask you: if I'm playing devil's advocate,

Speaker 1 if you were a Texas Tech fan and you saw that ball just barely graze your dude's pinky, would you be pissed off?

Speaker 1 Would you take the side of maybe we're seeing too much with these replays? Because that's the way I'm starting to lean right now. The robots have become too advanced.
Yes,

Speaker 5 I thought you were going to make a just-the-tip joke.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 listen, I made an Italian joke last night when the Italian guy was very demonstrative with his hands, and that's what hit the ball.

Speaker 1 but and but seriously like in baseball we're starting to see it in basketball we're seeing it a little bit like there are some things that we didn't know happened during these replays that now that we have the technology and the nice cameras and the super uh slow replays we can see do we is that a good thing all the time

Speaker 5 I think I think inside of two minutes it's a really good thing

Speaker 5 I think it would slow the game down a lot if you were able to do it throughout the game. You know, I think replay has been good for football.
I mean, I, you know, talk shifting gears to football.

Speaker 5 I mean, I remember as a sports fan and as a football fan growing up, hearing people say when they were transitioning to replay that the game will never be the same.

Speaker 5 It's going to ruin the game, this, that, and the third. And

Speaker 5 honestly, I don't know how

Speaker 5 we'd get through games nowadays without it. And

Speaker 5 I think people mostly don't even

Speaker 5 notice that it's slowing the game down at all. I think we're mostly glad we have it.

Speaker 5 But yeah, I mean, like, listen, if the ball goes off the cat's pinky,

Speaker 5 the ball went off the guy's pinky.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, no,

Speaker 5 it's kind of, it's not, it's not even, it's not subjective.

Speaker 5 You know, and obviously everybody does this dance where they want to make their team, you know, do the mental gymnastics to make their team as deserving as possible, you know, when it comes to calls.

Speaker 5 And teams they don't like, they want to twist it the other way. I'm telling you, they miss the double dribble.
I mean, that's clear.

Speaker 5 But I I had people like, well, I guess then, you know, tough luck for the Saints then. I'm like, dude, everybody

Speaker 5 watching in every continent knew that was PI right when it happened.

Speaker 5 Right when it happened. And I didn't see anybody.

Speaker 5 I was in a bar. I didn't see anybody say a word about a double dribble,

Speaker 5 you know, in real time. So I think what happened is they missed one call.

Speaker 5 And I think people, you know, then they were looking for whatever they could to to kind of,

Speaker 5 you know, take apart the title run that just occurred.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen, I was, I, like, UVA was the clear champion to me. They had an unbelievable season.
The story is awesome. So I wanted to ask you that.
Are UMBC jokes,

Speaker 1 do they still play? Do they hurt at all? Or is this all, because I'm of the mindset that this is all one story, and it starts with the UMBC loss and ends last night.

Speaker 1 And it basically erases that because you can't, I don't think they win the championship without the 16-seed upset.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I'm not sure they do.

Speaker 5 I've joked that, you know, the toughest opponent in the tournament was that first half of Garner Webb. Yes.

Speaker 5 I mean, that was nerve-wracking, man. I mean, I think they went down 12 or 14 points in the first half, and I'm pacing around my kitchen.
hyperventilating and my wife's asked me if I'm okay.

Speaker 5 And like, like, just, you know, I'm a total mental

Speaker 5 basket case when it comes to being a sports fan.

Speaker 1 So it's certainly I'm not playing.

Speaker 5 So, so, but I mean, you know, they get through that, that first half. And I thought once they got over that hump, you know, and I'm sure Tony was walking in a fine line.

Speaker 5 I don't want to put words in his mouth, but, you know, if you're a coach, what do you do? Do you downplay it going into that matchup?

Speaker 5 Do you say, just another game, or we got to lean into this thing and we got to go out there and press and dominate?

Speaker 5 You know, and I'm not sure which one they did but it it was a tough start and they got over the hump and i thought you know the oregon game there were some some lulls and uh and they got over it and purdue they played lights out uh auburn they played real well i mean it was really uncharacteristic of them to allow a double-digit lead to

Speaker 5 to uh disappear in the last five minutes um and then you know last night everybody was bracing themselves for the most you know ugly game of basketball they've ever seen.

Speaker 1 And I thought it was beautiful. I thought it was a great game.
Yeah, UVA came.

Speaker 5 Texas Tech hit about

Speaker 5 10-15 threes.

Speaker 5 Great defense on both sides of the court. You got

Speaker 5 two probable lottery picks.

Speaker 5 And Dre Hunter stepped up big time.

Speaker 5 Kyle Guy, again,

Speaker 5 a star. And Ty Jerome

Speaker 5 was crucial for us. So I thought it was a great game.

Speaker 1 Did you have any words with Patrick Mahomes either before, during, or after the game last night? Good question.

Speaker 5 I did not. I did not.

Speaker 5 I had words with Danny Amendola.

Speaker 5 Danny made a tattoo bet.

Speaker 5 I just want to put that out there. He's supposed to get a Virginia tattoo, I think.

Speaker 1 Whoa, I like it. Okay.
The Family V tattoo on his chest. He's always seemed to me like a big chest tattoo guy.
That's not fair, though. You have a million tattoos.

Speaker 5 That was the point. And no, but I said, Danny,

Speaker 5 I said, Danny, let's bet.

Speaker 5 And, you know,

Speaker 5 he's like, I don't know about doing anything financial, but I think we could do a tattoo bet. And I'm like, what?

Speaker 1 Are you serious?

Speaker 5 Like,

Speaker 5 you're going to get, you know, cross sabers on your tattoo-less body, and everybody's going to know what it is. I can hide a little six shooter somewhere.
I can hide a cowboy hat somewhere. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I'm not going to like it, but I can do it. I already got a tattoo of my

Speaker 5 linebacker coach's face on my rib cage.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I never released that picture. Ooh.

Speaker 1 We need it. Yeah, exclusive.

Speaker 5 Maybe I'll do it through y'all.

Speaker 5 But yeah, I've done the tattoo bet thing before for Danny. This is

Speaker 5 uncharted territory.

Speaker 1 I think he really just wanted to get a tattoo. Danny has always struck me as a guy.
He's like Kevin Federline with just clean skin. Yes.
Without the ink on it yet.

Speaker 1 So he was like, I think Kevin Federline. Yeah, I think he was trying to talk himself into an excuse excuse to get that first tattoo.
Yes.

Speaker 5 Well, you know,

Speaker 5 that's a great

Speaker 5 intro, is the cross sabers just floating somewhere in your body. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you offer to give the team a pregame speech like Kirk Cousins did?

Speaker 1 Did he do that? Yeah. For Michigan State.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 listen,

Speaker 5 I love being a fan. And,

Speaker 5 you know, I don't even, when I see a lot of those guys out, I don't even, I don't even bug them. And I've met Tony like one time.

Speaker 5 And can we talk about how awesome Tony Bennett is? And now, to me, he can't go anywhere.

Speaker 1 Oh, actually, that's actually a good segue. How much of this title do you think Wisconsin should deserve?

Speaker 5 Wisconsin?

Speaker 1 Well, Dick Bennett,

Speaker 1 indirectly a little bit.

Speaker 5 I mean, you guys, you know, kind of revolutionized our style of play, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 the game itself, you're in Minneapolis. you've won a Super Bowl

Speaker 1 in that building. Like what were the emotions like? Are you still I always wonder like you've been to the highest in sports.
Can you still be a regular fan? Was it still overwhelming as a fan?

Speaker 5 It's totally different as a fan. Like it's it's almost more nerve-wracking and

Speaker 5 you just feel so hopeless. And like I said, like as a player, I'd like to think I'm pretty mentally tough.
And as a fan, I am just, man,

Speaker 5 I'm a basket case. And, you know, everything, like, we'll go down three points, and I'll start thinking about, like, well, I'm not going out tonight.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 You know, like, like, you know, you just have those thoughts and you're like, are you fucking kidding me, dude? Like, what if you were out there with a jersey on?

Speaker 5 Like, you, you would, you, and you had that mentality, you would crumble. And, you know, that just goes to show you, I mean, being a fan is way different than being a player.
And

Speaker 5 the negative energy and thoughts that I bring to watching a game on TV or at a stadium, it can be a lot.

Speaker 1 It's harder to be a fan, is what you're saying.

Speaker 5 It's way harder.

Speaker 1 Thank you. It's way harder.
Thank you. Appreciate that.
I have one more question. It's a SeatGeek question.
Promo code take. You get $10 off your SeatGeek purchase.

Speaker 1 You have won two Super Bowls. You've won a national title in college basketball.
You've reached the highest of highs.

Speaker 1 Do you think now is the time that you want to announce your retirement from the NFL? NFL?

Speaker 5 I'm not going to do that on 30-minute sleep, dude.

Speaker 1 So you're thinking it sounds like it. So you're thinking about it.
You know what?

Speaker 1 We've all been there. We were so hungover that we just want to quit whatever we're doing at the time.
Dude, that's where you're at. Chris, you were just to it, Chris.

Speaker 1 Chris, you were the first guest on this show ever. You've been on the show like 10 times.
Do you not realize that every time we're going to try to get you to retire on the show?

Speaker 5 No, I understand. I mean, I'm figuring this thing out

Speaker 5 with you little by little.

Speaker 5 But right now, man, I'm just not in a great place. I mean, like, we won the national championship last night, but this is what being in your 30s is like the gremlins are, like, strong right now.

Speaker 5 It's like 6 p.m., the sun's going down, or whatever the hell it is.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I had to, like, buy five pounds of Chick-fil-A, you know, and just

Speaker 5 and just hammer it and hope for the best.

Speaker 1 Is there baseball on tonight? Yeah, there's some baseball. There's some NBA.
Yeah, you can get into it.

Speaker 1 Also, you've got those pending investigations from Goodell based on your gambling and doing your office bracket and gambling against a fellow NFL player. So you've got those two specters looming.
$50.

Speaker 5 Did I say dollars?

Speaker 1 Well, a tattoo, I think.

Speaker 1 $50.

Speaker 1 You said dollars.

Speaker 1 Also, you took a picture.

Speaker 5 Dollars is like a code word.

Speaker 1 You took a picture. I love.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He loves. 50 lashes.
You took a picture at a sports book and posted it on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Goodell's probably going to be checking out for that one, too. So you might as well just get out.

Speaker 5 He should also, and all the Duke fans should check out my winning ticket

Speaker 5 um the michigan state um game so it was like a perfect tournament i mean like michigan state won me like

Speaker 5 a large amount of money um duke goes down we win the title i mean you couldn't have scripted it any better i did hey i told you this this is pretty cool and this is not a name drop because name drops are like casual and they're like yeah i was hanging out with so and so

Speaker 5 I got to take a shot with Charles Barkley and I thought that was fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes. That is nice.

Speaker 1 Dude, coolest guy ever.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't think we're boys necessarily, but like we talked a while, and it was cool. And he was real classy about the Auburn thing.
I showed him the travel 19 seconds less than the game.

Speaker 1 He didn't agree.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not mad. You're just walking around to random people at bars and showing up highlights.

Speaker 5 Well, he got on me about the double dribble.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's awesome, though. Yeah.

Speaker 5 But it was cool. And even cooler, Stanford Steve was there.

Speaker 1 The best. Stanford Steve is best.
I mean,

Speaker 5 it was a great night. Win a title, take a shot with Chuck,

Speaker 5 and make it home the next day and

Speaker 5 get some Chick-fil-A to close out the weekend.

Speaker 1 And I could have been there, but you refused to get a suite, so whatever.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Who did you? How did that thing ever work out with McVay? Did he ever get you a suite?

Speaker 1 We didn't really want one. Yeah, we didn't want one.
We were just blowing smoke. We were just joshing.
We were seeing if he would actually go through with it.

Speaker 1 And then if he did, we would have been like, we were kidding. You idiots.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put in money.

Speaker 5 But he.

Speaker 5 Oh.

Speaker 1 Sorry, Roger Goodell's beeping through. Okay.
You can take it. You want a conference?

Speaker 1 No, I'm good. Okay.

Speaker 1 Wahoo Wah. Is that what you say? Wahoo Wah.
Who, who, who? Who cares? That's what I say. Can't say it now.
Yep. Well, I just did.
It's my show.

Speaker 5 Stephen A. Smith was big mad this morning.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's been big mad. He's been big mad.
Oh.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, bro.
Appreciate it. I got it.
Yeah, I'll talk to you. Have a good one.
Congrats again. Enjoy.

Speaker 1 That interview with Chris Long was brought to you guys by Roman Swipes. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer, but thinking about baseball doesn't always work.

Speaker 1 Here's a little trip, a little trick that I used to use back in the day: just imagining that I was parallel parking and then putting my arm behind the seat, pretending in my brain that I was turning around.

Speaker 1 That used to work for me, but if you need a more modern way to approach this, I recommend Roman Swipes. It's an online men's health company.

Speaker 1 They're changing the game with Roman Swipes, the secret to lasting longer during sex.

Speaker 1 Roman swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed. They're effective, they're easy to use, they're fast-acting, they're doctor-recommended, but they don't require a prescription.

Speaker 1 Roman can chip swipes to you in discrete, unmarked packaging, and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it.

Speaker 1 Swipes are great, they will not transfer to your partner, so you can last longer without worrying. They're super easy to use.

Speaker 1 Just take the the swipes out of the packet, apply, let dry, and you're good to go. That's it.
They also have a special shipping deal.

Speaker 1 You keep Roman swipes in your back pocket for longer, better sex, and get yours fast with free two-day shipping. If you go to getroman.com slash take.

Speaker 1 That's G-E-T-R-O-M-A-N dot com slash take. Get Roman.com slash take.

Speaker 1 And now, Blake Poles.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very, very good friend. It's been a while.
So long that he's now on a different team. It is Blake Bortles, now quarterback for your Los Angeles Rams.

Speaker 1 So we thought it would be a good idea to have a Wikipedia club.

Speaker 1 Before we do that, though, Blake, let's catch up real quick. The Rams, huh?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 What's going on? Thanks for having me on again.

Speaker 5 Yeah, excited about it, man. Kind of going coast to coast.
Got to be by some water. So I'm looking forward to a good spot, though.
McVay's a man. Know Jared really well.

Speaker 5 Obviously, an unbelievable team in a pretty sweet city. So I'm excited about it.

Speaker 1 Did you take any other meetings with other teams, or was it just the Rams?

Speaker 5 No, the Rams was, well, we kind of had a schedule, and the Rams was the first one.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 after kind of spending the day there,

Speaker 5 knew that was where I wanted to be. So I kind of just shut it down and got it done.

Speaker 1 Who was next on your list? If you weren't going to go to the Rams, who was the backup?

Speaker 5 I had a meeting with Denver and then Baltimore were the next two.

Speaker 1 It would have been closer to us. Did any team reach out and say, hey, Blake, you want to be a tight end?

Speaker 5 No, I was actually the only one. I was hitting at it, trying to just give myself more options.

Speaker 1 And nobody really fighting.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're just throwing out some Instagrams. You catching some balls being like, hey, you never know.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I threw a couple highlight videos out there with running some stick routes and then even did some long snapping and some holding just to add some versatility.

Speaker 1 What happened with the welcome to LA video that you put out there?

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 I go to the hotel. We were supposed to go to dinner that night.
Like they wanted me to go to dinner with, you know, I guess McVay and a couple other coaches and do all that.

Speaker 5 And I kind of just told them, like, look, we don't really need to do that anymore. Like, I'm good.
You guys got me. You don't need to sell me anymore.

Speaker 5 So they said, all right, well, we'll drive you back to, I was staying down in Orange County. They said, we'll get your car back down to Orange County for you.

Speaker 5 You know, come to the facility, and then you'll head out from there. So I changed.
I actually had a nice, like, a nice polo and jeans on. I wasn't even wearing a hat.
I was presentable.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 5 then they told me I was going home. So I put on sweatpants and that shirt and then walked into the facility.
And they said, wait in this room and walked in.

Speaker 5 And there was just a bunch of cameras sitting there.

Speaker 1 And they just said, like, go freestyle something for us? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know, they said, throw something together. And, you know, that video was what I came up with.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was a hostage video where Blake Blake was like, hey, Rams fans, get excited. I'm going to be a Ram.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I brought a lot of truth for that one.

Speaker 1 I just want to make sure that there was no misunderstanding that

Speaker 1 you didn't actually stand up, Sean McVay, for your first dinner as a part of the team, right?

Speaker 5 No, no, it was more so like you don't need to waste any more time with me. Like, go enjoy your life and go to dinner with somebody else that you probably want to go to dinner with.

Speaker 1 That's actually a great employee. You already were making sure that they were cutting some costs.
Like, hey, we don't have to go swipe the business card at this nice steakhouse.

Speaker 1 Let's just sign on the dotted line and go our ways.

Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, really, I kind of go to In-N-Out, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. Stank Rankin didn't get all that money by taking everybody out to dinner all the time.
So he'll definitely be a fan of yours.

Speaker 1 My last question about the signing is, now I'm not mad. I just want to say, first of all, I'm not mad that part of my take didn't break the news that you signed with the Ramps.
Not mad about it.

Speaker 1 Again, Blake of the Year is coming up soon. No big deal.

Speaker 1 is Leroy now. Not holding that against you.
We're not mad. Blake of the Year is coming up, though.

Speaker 1 I just want to know if we need to go bro to bro with Jeff Darlington. If there's some words that we need to have.
Oh, was that who broke it? Yeah. Do we need to do a bro to bro with him, Blake?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think we might need to.

Speaker 1 Wow. Did you tech? Now, how'd that work? Do you text Jeff Darlington? Did you forget that you have my phone number?

Speaker 1 What was the process there?

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 5 I think like, I don't know. He texted me later in the process, kind of, I think after it was already done.
He had talked to my agent, and

Speaker 5 then like he kind of just asked. And I said, Yeah, it's done.
I signed. So, again, I apologize to you guys for not giving you that info.

Speaker 5 And it won't happen again.

Speaker 1 Okay, my last question before we get to the Wikipedia: it has been a recent story has come out in the last couple weeks that LeBron James has very, very bad breath.

Speaker 1 Channing Fry came out and said that it's the number one thing he thinks of with LeBron is bad breath. As someone who has been accused of having bad breath yourself, where does LeBron go from here?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 I can't believe Leonard did that to me.

Speaker 5 Because it's always, like, that's been a huge tetime of mine, like, my whole life. Like, I've always tried to make sure I have good breath because it really bothers me when people don't.

Speaker 5 But as being accused of it,

Speaker 5 I mean, really, it was just an Amazon Prime quick order of, you know, some of the breath mints and Listerine.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That's actually, that's a good way to get rid of it right away. Make sure you always got one around.
All right, let's do the Wikipedia.

Speaker 1 So we picked two Wikipedias that I think are perfect for your move.

Speaker 1 So the first one we have is a list of people from Florida because you are, for the first time in your life, going to be moving out of the state of Florida.

Speaker 1 And we want to make sure that you remember where you're coming from, who the company you keep as a Floridian, ex-Floridian, that is now going out in the world and trying to make it big for the state of Florida.

Speaker 1 Let's start there, though. Are you nervous about living somewhere other than Florida?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Well, I mean, especially in California with the whole difference in taxes thing.

Speaker 5 So that'll be a little different. But, I mean, I'm looking forward to it.
I've spent some time in Orange County in off-season.

Speaker 5 So this is obviously a little north of that. But I think it'll be all right.
Got some friends out there. So hopefully that'll help make the movie.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
So let's start. List of people from Florida.
PFT, I'll let you start with some notables that you want to throw out there that you saw. You're like, oh, this is interesting.

Speaker 1 Eva Mendez jumped off the list to me. Whoa.
Big fan of Eva, however, acting.

Speaker 1 So Eva was a big one. Bob Ross, the painter.
Really? You don't know that. Bob Ross is from the state of Florida.

Speaker 1 Blake, I was curious, actually, what the most famous celebrity encounter you've had inside of Florida has been, though.

Speaker 5 Probably Kelly Slater. Kelly Slater was a big one for me.
I was a big fan of his, so to meet him was kind of cool. And he's from, I think he's from Cocoa, so not far away from where I grew up.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 professional surfer, Kelly Slater. Oh, yeah, he is.
He's from Cocoa Beach. That's actually pretty cool.
Right underneath him is Emmett Smith.

Speaker 1 And then Gino Smith, and then Kevin Smith, Mike Smith, a lot of Smiths, Rusty Smith.

Speaker 1 I noted a couple things. One was Janet Reno's passed away.

Speaker 1 That's tough. I didn't know that.
Yeah, I didn't either. R.I.P.

Speaker 1 So I saw that. She's from Florida, or was from Florida.

Speaker 1 How do you do that when someone dies? She's a former Floridian.

Speaker 1 She's like Blake, former Floridian. So she was the first woman to serve as Attorney General.
Well, it doesn't matter. Like if she's buried in Florida, then I think she still is a Floridian.

Speaker 1 Final resting place in Florida. I also noticed Johnny Depp.
I didn't realize Johnny Depp was from Florida. Did you know that, Blake?

Speaker 5 No, I had no idea.

Speaker 1 Well, some of these... It's kind of bullshit because some of them, it just says they lived in Florida.
Well, they become Floridians, but I think it should be just. I think it's born.

Speaker 1 Well, some people are born and then they move, and then some people move, and then they

Speaker 1 like friend. Who was there? Was a notable one.
I think it's just once you spend, let's say, over five years in Florida, it gets in your blood. Once you do laugh in Florida, you're a Floridian.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What did you say? I think you said once you breathe in the bath salts. Yeah, that actually.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Sorry, I'm looking at this list. Yeah,

Speaker 5 you absorb bath salts, and then you just become Floridian after like six months. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Enough Harley fumes and drugs that you can buy at a gas station counter and you're part of the team. Are you on speakerphone looking at it on your phone?

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. This is how I do Wikipedia Club.

Speaker 1 I mean, we should actually, at some point in the next couple years, we should have a live camera on Blake, how he does the Wikipedia Club, because we all Wikipedia differently.

Speaker 1 I also wrote down Jason Derulo. That's the name that you just know because Jason Darulo, he just says it in every song, which is genius.

Speaker 1 People don't give him enough credit for just saying his name over and over so you remember him. How does he say it? Jason Darulo.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Ooh, what you say? Carrot Tie.

Speaker 1 Also from Coco. Whoa.
So, hey, Blake, is Coco Beach different from Coco?

Speaker 5 Yeah, two totally different places.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Don't want to mix that up.

Speaker 5 Coco's high school football team is way better than Cocoa Beach's.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's good to know. Good to know.
I also noticed that the science and technology section of the famous Floridians was very small.

Speaker 5 Not a whole lot of science going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not a lot of science.

Speaker 5 Not a big tech state.

Speaker 1 Not a huge tech state. That's actually a very, very important thing we should throw out.
Isn't that where the spaceships go off from?

Speaker 1 Good point, Hank. Yeah, the Apollo.
Well, no, Apollo was Houston, right? Because Houston would have a problem. Houston's the control center.
The launches are from Florida.

Speaker 1 The third launch from Cape Canaveral. Yes.
I have a fun fact about that. Do you know why? Go.

Speaker 1 Because it's the southernmost point in the United States, and you use less rocket fuel to get out of the atmosphere because of the rate that the Earth spins at closer to the equator.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't Key West be the most southernmost? Yeah, but they don't want to build a big NASA thing.

Speaker 1 Once you put NASA inside Key West, they just all become drunks and nudists. Isn't it also one of those things, too? Hawaii is actually, wouldn't Hawaii be the most southernmost?

Speaker 1 I don't know how that works. You know how they always, like, Hawaii is actually way farther south than we think.
Yeah. Maybe.
I don't know. I'm not exactly sure about getting too far into the world.

Speaker 1 We're not doing a Hawaii Wikipedia Club.

Speaker 1 Tom Petty. Tom Petty, Gainesville.
Yes. Gainesville.
Big time Gainesville guy. R.I.P.
Yeah. A lot of good music people, too.
You had Steve Aoki, Iggy Azalea.

Speaker 5 I think. She's from Australia, isn't she?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but she lives in Miami, so that counts. See, that's barely.
No, that counts. That counts.
That counts. No, because

Speaker 1 Australia is the Florida of the British Empire. Correct.
Correct. Correct.

Speaker 5 Oh, Fred Durst. Yeah,

Speaker 1 a big one. Who could forget? Yeah.
Ariana Grande. She actually was a huge Carolina Panthers fan.
You remember that article that someone dug up that she got hit by a puck like three times in one year?

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 I just noticed that a lot of these people on this list are dead. Very high concentration of dead people that are from Florida.
So maybe it's for the best that you're getting out.

Speaker 1 Brooke Hogan, classic. Hogan knows best.
Was that the name of the show? So that would imply Hulk Hogan as well, maybe? I think Hogan knows best. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, every wrestler is actually from the Tampa era. Yep.

Speaker 1 He was born in Tampa. Yeah, absolutely.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Any other ones that we should note

Speaker 1 as we basically take, we're going to

Speaker 1 figuratively move from Florida to California with our our next Wikipedia. Any other last words for Florida or memories, Blake?

Speaker 5 No, I was just trying to say, do you think they took me off because I'm no longer a resident of Florida? I'm now in California, so I didn't make the list.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I couldn't find here.
No, he's not on Florida. We can go back and check the history.
It's actually wild that it's history. Yeah, that is stupid.
It's very stupid.

Speaker 1 That's how quickly they turn their back on you in Florida, right?

Speaker 5 So quick, dude. It's unreal.
I mean, there's a guy named Boof Bonzer on here.

Speaker 1 Oh, Boof Bonzer is a fucking great pitcher, dude.

Speaker 5 From St. Pete.

Speaker 1 Boof Bonzer.

Speaker 5 Wayne Bonzer.

Speaker 1 Dude, click on Boof Bonzer and tell me you don't love Boof Bonzer. He's like 300 pounds.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like David Wells.
He's the greatest name ever for a

Speaker 1 reliever to be Boof Bonzer and be a fat ass. Come on.
That's awesome. Boof Bonzer.
Oh, also A-Rod.

Speaker 1 A-Rod. I forget that one.
That is true. All right, let's move on.
So you are moving to L.A. When are you moving, officially?

Speaker 5 I'm heading out there Friday, and then got to try and find a place this weekend, and then we report Monday.

Speaker 1 What are we thinking in Manhattan Beach?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I think my options are like

Speaker 5 because the facility is in Thousand Oaks, so it'll be like Thousand Oaks,

Speaker 5 Calabasas, Hidden Hills.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of trees. Thousand Oaks.
Yeah, actually. A lot of wood.

Speaker 1 Jared Goff,

Speaker 1 your teammate now, our friend, saved the forest fire. He stopped the forest fire.
Remember that story? When he got out and just started pouring water on a bunch of burning trees?

Speaker 1 It was like a leaf that was on fire. Yeah, yeah, but still.
So saved life.

Speaker 5 Yeah. That was a big part of why I decided to sign with him, just to be around somebody with that much of heroism.

Speaker 1 Yes. So because you're moving to L.A., we thought it would be appropriate for the Wikipedia of the San Andreas Fault, the big one.
So are you ready for the big one? Let's start there.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I think it was as ready as I'll ever be. Actually, that was the first question I asked.
It was a guy that took took me up from the hotel in the morning to take me over to the facility.

Speaker 5 And one of the first things I brought up was the old earthquakes and how often those come and if you can actually feel them.

Speaker 5 And he let me know that it's just small shakes, you know, nothing to be too concerned about until the big one hits.

Speaker 1 Okay, so have you like practiced what to do in an earthquake? Like, do you know you're supposed to, I think, stand in doorways? Is that right? Yeah, I think so. And stay away from windows.

Speaker 1 Or that's a tornado. What do you think?

Speaker 5 I'm just going to do like the in elementary school. We saw, obviously being from Florida, all we did all elementary school was just practice for hurricanes.

Speaker 5 So you have to always get under the desk. So I figured I'd just do that same thing.

Speaker 1 It does say get under desk. Would you think about maybe putting a desk in every single room in your new house?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, that would definitely be something I look into and try and make sure

Speaker 5 I'm earthquake-proof if anything goes wrong.

Speaker 1 Just put on your uniform with your pads and everything.

Speaker 5 Put a helmet on, nothing's bad.

Speaker 1 Non-football-related

Speaker 1 meetings, how many hours of your life do you think you've sat at a desk?

Speaker 5 Outside of football? Yeah.

Speaker 5 What are the school count?

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe

Speaker 1 let's say post-school. So after you graduated college.

Speaker 5 Oh, man.

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, I have an office in my house, and there's a computer up there, but I don't think it's plugged in.

Speaker 5 I don't spend a whole lot of time sitting at that.

Speaker 1 Was that the room I stayed in?

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, that was your room.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So, Blake, yeah, I confirmed the computer was unplugged.
You had like two trophies on a case in there.

Speaker 1 But those weren't like your most important trophies, so I could tell that you didn't spend a lot of time in that room.

Speaker 5 Right, no, it was just

Speaker 5 third grade spelling B and then ninth grade flex football.

Speaker 1 When you're buying a place in LA, how much of, hey, the part of my take guys might come and want to stay over gets like, you know, like do you tell that to your realtor?

Speaker 1 Or do you just say, like, hey, I got some really good friends who may be staying a lot? Like, what do you, how does that conversation go?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, it's definitely part of it. Like, I need at least two extra beds and then a cot, you know, for Hank.

Speaker 5 You know, so we need at least three, we need three extra places for three people to sleep that could show up at any moment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That's perfect. Exactly.
All right. So the San Andreas fault,

Speaker 1 I just pulled up the Wikipedia page, and let's just say you're fucked, dude.

Speaker 5 Yeah, this definitely doesn't look good.

Speaker 1 No, it does not. It says the next big one, in 2006, there was a published article that there would be an earthquake of 7.0 or higher coming in the next 30 years, and that is yet to occur.

Speaker 1 And I guess the North Fault line hasn't had anything in a long time. So that's the one we got to be worried about.

Speaker 5 Where is that at? Is that in L.A.?

Speaker 1 Is this run through L.A.? Yes, pretty much. I'm pretty sure it's directly through L.A.

Speaker 1 So there's a 7% chance that there's an 8.0

Speaker 1 or greater coming in the next 30 years in L.A.

Speaker 1 Yikes.

Speaker 1 Maybe you can get them to move back

Speaker 1 to St. Louis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 8.0 is very, very bad at that point. Yeah, 8.0, like anything above a 7.0 is really bad.
8.0, the other fun fact that I learned about earthquakes is that

Speaker 1 the grades of them, they expand exponentially. Oh, yeah.
So like a 6 to a 7, the difference between those two is not nearly as much as the difference between a seven and an eight.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, you want to, it's, I'm looking at the map right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, LA is like right on that Pacific plate right there. Not good, not great.
You want to think, you want to, again, spend a lot of time outdoors. Yeah, what, uh,

Speaker 1 maybe you want to, you know, rethink this whole thing?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I think I'm kind of,

Speaker 5 you know, I think I'm committed for a year at least, and then maybe reconsider after that.

Speaker 1 What would be an all-time headline of Blake Bortle's moving on, scared of the big one? Scared of earthquakes.

Speaker 1 Scared of the big one.

Speaker 1 Have you watched the movie San Andreas?

Speaker 1 With The Rock? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. I've seen that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Amazing.
Amazing.

Speaker 1 So that's like watching an entire Wikipedia page in only like two and a half hours. So you basically know all the information already going into this.

Speaker 1 You're going to study it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You should study that movie again.

Speaker 5 Like, yeah, instead of reading the book, you just watch the movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so to figure out how to escape the earthquake, I guess, what did the rock do in that? He just flew away in a helicopter? He flew in a helicopter. He got a boat.
I think he was flying

Speaker 1 into the storm. Okay.
Pretty much everything you can do. So we need to get you a helicopter and lessons.
Homie's got one. We know that you have books.
You are a boat. Yes.

Speaker 1 So I'd say you're halfway there.

Speaker 5 Pretty much.

Speaker 1 Are you nervous at all about Jared being a California resident his whole entire life and knowing like the lingo and all the cool shit and like having Cali bro friends?

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, I mean it would be like him coming to Florida, you know, like he's like I'm an outsider stepping into his world and

Speaker 5 don't know don't know the lingo.

Speaker 5 Obviously don't know what to do if an earthquake hits.

Speaker 5 Don't know any good restaurants, you know, things like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, here's an idea.
Sean McVay, didn't he just recently get his house robbed? I think that was Gronk.

Speaker 1 And that was two years ago. No, that was Sean McVay.
Was it not?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I saw something about this the other day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he got his house robbed. You should just offer to be his guard dog.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I told him whatever you need me to do, man.

Speaker 5 I'll sit in the driveway all night long and I can take a work in the morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should give him a tip. You should be like, hey, Sean, from experience, lock your door.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I've been down this path before.

Speaker 1 You actually should go hunt that person down, like Liam Neeson. Like, you should be his taken guy and find who burglarizes home and just beat the crap out of him, give him his stuff back.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Now you're starting quarterback.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 that's what it takes. I think we definitely look into it.

Speaker 1 Anything else that we got to talk about with this big move coming up? I'm a little nervous for you. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 this is a big life change. You're going off to California.
We're empty nesters now. Right.
It's going to be scary for us, scary for you. You're going to be three hours behind at all times.

Speaker 5 That's the worst part about it. Like, there's nothing on TV at 8 o'clock at night.

Speaker 1 Yep. No sports on.
Twitter is just a dead zone at, like, 11. Yeah.
Well, you're not on Twitter anymore.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 5 I think I'm going to revamp social media, though, see if I can get back on there.

Speaker 1 Really? Actually, yeah, that's not a bad idea. I'll bring it back.
Yeah, because

Speaker 1 I feel like when you're.

Speaker 1 Now, is it bad to say when you're a backup? How are we at with that?

Speaker 5 No, yeah, no, I'm okay with the B word.

Speaker 1 Okay, the B word. All right, so we'll just say the B word.
When you're a B word, I think you kind of open yourself up to being, you can be the funny B word on Twitter.

Speaker 5 Right. And I get, yeah, it's tough to be like the funny starter on Twitter, especially when you're winning like four or five games a year.
Like, it just doesn't go well.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You don't want to be too funny, though, because you don't want to reach distraction status.
I feel like Sean McVay's pretty good about that, though, about letting his players be players,

Speaker 1 be like their own individuals. Absolutely.
But that's just a heads up. Don't be too funny.
Don't outshine Jared because Jared's pretty good on Twitter, too.

Speaker 1 So just be slightly less funny than Jared at all times.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Told him, like, I want all the cool stuff that he gets to do, like, when he goes undercover and does all these sweet things. Like, just give me, like, let me be like some sort of a role in it.

Speaker 5 Like, I'll be the ball boy. Like, let me be the center when you go undercover to a Juco.
Like, let me just go play center.

Speaker 1 That would be so good. Be a stunt double.
That would be so good.

Speaker 1 What should we do? We're going to make a split jersey. should it be boff or should it be gordels

Speaker 1 oh i like gordles gordels has a nice ring to it right that has a nice ring to it

Speaker 1 we're good yeah be jared gordels no

Speaker 1 jake jake gordles jake gordles jake gordels is our number one quarterback i like that's perfect okay perfect um being a b-word

Speaker 1 you can now just keep your hat on all the time

Speaker 5 i know i didn't know if you you were ever going to bring that up.

Speaker 1 That's the winner of this whole thing.

Speaker 5 I mean, outside of the National Anthem Boys, we're in the clear here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
I think that's it.

Speaker 1 We'll see in a month, in a month and a half. We have Blake of the Year coming up, which I can already tell

Speaker 1 Blake is very, very nervous about Blake of the Year because Blake Bortles. Well, actually, both.

Speaker 1 But when I texted this Blake, he responded faster than I've ever had him respond to a text. And he said, just getting ready for Blake of the Year.

Speaker 5 I've actually just been wearing my AirPods 24-7, so I can never miss a call.

Speaker 1 Sleeping with your AirPods.

Speaker 5 I sleep with my AirPods in, just ready to go with that loud duck quack as my ringtone. So at any time I can't.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. All right, Blake.
Thank you, man. Appreciate it.
We'll see you in a couple weeks. Good luck with the move.
Yeah. Oh,

Speaker 1 I did have one last question for you, Blake.

Speaker 1 Have you ever watched the show Entourage or the movie?

Speaker 1 Yes, both. Okay, dumb question.
Follow-up: who's the turtle? Who's the E? And who's Baby Bro?

Speaker 1 Yeah. In this group, in the part of my take group.

Speaker 1 Y'all three? Yeah. So Blake, Blake, is Vince.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Blake is Vince. We'll start off.
Who's Baby Bro?

Speaker 5 I think Baby Bro's got to be Hank. PFT is.

Speaker 5 Don't say Turtle. Don't say Turtle.
PFT is E.

Speaker 1 Oh, i'm turtle

Speaker 1 turtle what the fuck nice that's fucking i'm making moves i am good at driving i do drive all the time i do love driving my name is also

Speaker 1 i do love driving i love driving you're right okay um

Speaker 1 yeah well he's a little bitch whatever he dude he was banging the coolest okay

Speaker 1 can't wait to meet sloan yeah

Speaker 1 about her yeah so what yeah uh all right

Speaker 1 we'll talk we'll see you in a couple weeks man good luck with the move make sure you get that extra room for us please no i definitely will i appreciate it guys

Speaker 1 all right see ya. Love you, Blake.

Speaker 1 Love you.

Speaker 1 Love you. Oh, there we go.

Speaker 6 We drove 1,700 miles of old Highway 61, the whole country top to bottom, just to prove one thing: comfort food can make anywhere home.

Speaker 6 Crave New World makes the classics you grew up with, cleaned up for right now. High protein, no fake stuff, no shortcuts.

Speaker 6 Bison meatloaf, chicken enchiladas, turkey lasagna, the kind of meals that taste like Saturday night, even on a Tuesday. Crave New World.
Founded in Kroger Isles this October.

Speaker 6 The road trip might be over, but dinner's just getting good.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to some segments. First up, we have a Kingstay King.

Speaker 1 Skip Bayless during the national championship game last night, or after it, he said, The Cavaliers won a championship without the benefit of a Draymond Green suspension. I fucking love it.
I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it. Keep fucking that chicken.

Speaker 1 And on Friday night during the Virginia game, or Saturday night during the Virginia game when Kyle Guy was going to the free throw line, he said LeBron would, this is LeBron's worst nightmare.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's right. That's right.
And it was. I love it.
He straight up has LeBron James' name tattooed on the inside of his eyelids.

Speaker 1 So whenever he loses focus and he stops thinking about how everything should be related to LeBron James, he's like, oh, yeah, I got to snap back to it and get after it.

Speaker 1 Ernestine wears a shirt around the house that just says, make sure you tweet about LeBron James. Yeah, she's got a tattoo.
She's got a tramp stamp tattoo of just LeBron's face.

Speaker 1 Have you treated about LeBron James in the last 20 minutes? If not, do it. It also kings say kings for Stephen A.
Smith because Ty Jerome said after the game, I just feel so bad for ESPN Stephen A.

Speaker 1 Smith. He said he hated watching us and he had to watch us every single round of the tournament.
I feel so bad for him. It must have been so hard for him.
That is the win. That's a win for Stephen A.

Speaker 1 Smith. Anytime a championship team talks about an analyst, a troll analyst,

Speaker 1 they won. Yes, it's an accomplishment.
Here's the thing. No matter who it is, no matter what it is that's giving Stephen A.
Smith attention, Stephen A. is basking in it.
He loves it.

Speaker 1 The best fucking day of his week was when that turkey vulture flew through the window and tried to kill him. Yes.

Speaker 1 Stephen A. Smith.
He's like, you know you're doing something right when even the birds want to kill you. Yes.
By the way, we got a little inside source about the turkey vulture situation.

Speaker 1 Let's just say it doesn't really add up because those birds don't really fly. So

Speaker 1 we heard some sourcing. Was that from InfoScores? InfoScores.

Speaker 1 Did you say that? I did say that. They don't fly at all.

Speaker 1 I did say that it couldn't be a turkey vulture because if you look at the crash site into the building, there should be feathers, there should be blood, and I'm saying they don't even fly on the way in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm agreeing with you that, like, it is not

Speaker 1 a bird that hit that building.

Speaker 1 Look at the wreckage. There should be pieces of the wreckage out there.
Someone's trying to take out the $10 million man.

Speaker 1 Who could it be? Who could it be? Will Kane?

Speaker 1 Max Kellerman for getting defeated in too many debates?

Speaker 1 Shannon Sharp. Lil Wayne.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 Skip always keeps saying, calling him Stephen A. Yeah.
Being like I miss you, Stephen A. Mm-hmm.
He's got to eliminate it.

Speaker 1 Could have just been the bosses. They knew that they'd 10 million bucks if they wanted to pay him.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Interesting. That was right before that news got broke, right? Yeah.
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was his producer. There's been a lot of that about

Speaker 1 producers trying to murder their talent on debate shows recently, either by getting them sick or by throwing something through the window and trying to kill them.

Speaker 1 So just be a little bit woke on that too, Hank.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Agreed. Interesting.
All right. Next up, we have a Trouble in Paradise.
It's still going on. Well, there's two things that are still going on.
Trouble in Paradise and the Petty Wars.

Speaker 1 You could actually put either or on these stories, but Trouble in Paradise, Green Bay.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers has responded to the Bleacher Report article, basically calling him out for being a terrible teammate. And he said it was a smear attack.
He said it's mostly irrelevant, bitter players.

Speaker 1 He called out Jermichael Finley and Greg Jennings because he said, if it's not an article about me, do you ever hear their names anywhere else? You talk about me being sensitive and petty.

Speaker 1 At what point do you move on or stop telling the same stories? Now,

Speaker 1 I do actually agree with Aaron Rodgers that those two guys, Jermichael Finley is always the one who talks about it.

Speaker 1 Well, there's also just a long line of tight ends that have come through Green Bay that are just pissed off that they were never used correctly.

Speaker 1 Greg Jennings is on FS1, I think, so he at least has made a career for himself other than just this.

Speaker 1 But this is still one of those stories where I think Aaron Rodgers, like, I actually sort of believe Aaron Rodgers, which is amazing that I'm going to go this far to defend him a little bit, that he isn't a maliciously bad teammate.

Speaker 1 I think he is

Speaker 1 very passive-aggressive and like will cut someone off probably pretty quickly, but it seems like normal behavior because that's just how he always is operating.

Speaker 1 I think him, so he is passive-aggressive. Other quarterbacks like Brady are are just aggressive-aggressive.
So they'll at least let you know when they're about to be addicted to you.

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers, this whole thing just screams to me like an argument that should be happening between two of your high school friends on Facebook. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 And Mike McCarthy and Aaron Rodgers, I guarantee you their relationship, like they both came out and were like, oh, no, we have a great relationship. The man, like, he's a great man.

Speaker 1 And blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 There's no way they got along. Like, that's the truth.
I don't think that

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers is as bad as the article might have made him out to be, but if even 50% of it's right, like he's clearly tough to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Speaker 1 My favorite part of this article was about 30 minutes after the new part. I guess Aaron Rodgers quotes about Finlay and all that came out about 30 minutes afterwards.

Speaker 1 Someone leaked to the press, no idea who, that Rodgers actually played all last year on a small tubial fracture.

Speaker 1 He played

Speaker 1 some bullshit. He hands up the injuries so much.
I remember that time when he was stretching in the tunnel nonstop. Hank, why'd you give me that little look?

Speaker 1 That was a very rational take from him. It was.
I mean, I think Aaron Rodgers is a very difficult person to be a teammate with, but I don't think he's as bad. Or a family member with, yeah?

Speaker 1 Like, because here's the thing.

Speaker 1 He's been bashed before. This is the first time he's come out and been like, yo, like, this is uncalled for.
And anyone who defends themselves and like...

Speaker 1 I don't know. I feel like if you go out and defend yourself and try to tell your side, I'm at least going to listen.
You know what would be great? Is if, what's his brother's name?

Speaker 1 Don't call himself an alpha male. I mean, calling yourself an alpha male and then calling your team irrelevant.
No, he's a hard person to deal with. I guarantee you.

Speaker 1 You have to call yourself an alpha male. He is a hard person to deal with.
I'm just saying he probably, it probably was overstated a little bit. And Mike McCarthy also had a piece.

Speaker 1 Like, the whole thing is dysfunctional. And everyone gets blamed.

Speaker 1 It's one of those things where everyone should probably look in the mirror and be like, oh, yeah, I probably was a really bad teammate.

Speaker 1 Or I wasn't great with, you know, a young guy, or I wasn't great with my coaches. And Aaron Rodgers does have that feel.
Like, if he thinks he's smarter than you, he'll just shut you out.

Speaker 1 The funniest move of all time is like anytime a relationship or a friendship doesn't work out and then you say out loud like, you know, it was just a couple alpha males butting heads with each other.

Speaker 1 Right. It's like 99% of the time it's that's not it at all.
It's not even close. It's just like Mike McCarthy was getting massages and Aaron Rodgers hated some of his teammates.

Speaker 1 They're both kind of dick. Two alphas just being alphas, you know? Right.
Couldn't see eye to eye after all that success.

Speaker 1 It will be interesting because I do. I mean Aaron Rodgers, there's no way he's easy to deal with.
It's just he has such great talent. One-time Super Bowl winner.
Aaron Rider.

Speaker 1 Like, washes away everything else.

Speaker 1 If he had, you know, middling talent, he would have been cast off a long time ago. He's a huge dickhead.
And do you remember the interview that he gave with Michelle Tafoya after that week one?

Speaker 1 Wait, remember when they played the Bears? You remember that game? Yeah, remember who won the NFC North? Okay, so after that game, that's when

Speaker 1 I do. That's when he adopted that southern accent.
Yes. When he was in so much pain on painkillers and stuff.
Go back and watch that video. It's so hilarious.
It's like the gunslinger. My knee hurt.

Speaker 1 My knees aching like all the dickens. It was funny that they came out with that, you know, being like, oh, actually, he was hurt all year long.

Speaker 1 So I just, the only thing I'll say again in Aaron Rodgers' defense, I think Jermichael Finley's kind of a dick. Okay.
That's really what it is.

Speaker 1 Well, I think everything else is probably true, but I think anything Jermichael Finley says, because he is,

Speaker 1 it is true that he is the one who like continuously talks about it. It's like, dude, you haven't been in the league in forever.
Now, what if Martellis Bennett confirmed?

Speaker 1 Martellis Bennett has got his own things. Yeah,

Speaker 1 a lot of his own things. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's his own guy. The bottom line is both Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Brown are a couple messy bitches who love drama.
Yes.

Speaker 1 They're fake friends. Yeah, so Antonio Brown's the other part of this petty war slash trouble in paradise.

Speaker 1 Antonio Brown will not stop talking about the Steelers and then say that they keep talking about him. He got in a fight with Juju Smith Schuster again.

Speaker 1 For all I know, like no one from the Steelers has said anything. Even L'Avion Bell is taking subtle shots at Antonio Brown now.
So,

Speaker 1 like we said on Monday's show, I think this is going to be the Steelers are going to get addition by subtraction because Antonio Brown has become, it's come out that he's basically like insane.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is insane. I think we called that on the show.
Like, he's actually nuts. I think,

Speaker 1 yeah, I could see an addition by subtraction, but the problem is he is so fucking good when he's actually playing that it's tough to be kind of like the Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 1 He's so good that it doesn't, you can be addicted to it.

Speaker 1 You have to be a pretty huge asshole to make it addition by subtraction when you're that very, very good. But he might be.
I mean, he's going nuts.

Speaker 1 I saw a screenshot of a text between James Conner and

Speaker 1 Jean-Bell.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, James Conner was even the one that was kind of taking shots at him.

Speaker 1 And then Levian Bell tweeted it. Yeah, then he tweeted it out.
So it's like both of them doing it at the same time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all I can say is go listen to Antonio Brown's podcast. It explains a lot.
The Raiders should trade him. They actually should trade him.
Because it's going to blow up. It's already happening.

Speaker 1 Like, just trade him before.

Speaker 1 He's got the highest amount of you can get the most for him right now. Imagine if the Raiders traded him for like a second round.
Two pills.

Speaker 1 If they got like a first rounder, it's like the Steelers just couldn't get anything for him. Yeah.
No, I kind of hope that does happen.

Speaker 1 He'll be traded a couple more times in his career, I'm pretty sure. Yes.

Speaker 1 But the very worst thing, I can't imagine because they're going to be going for probably a rookie quarterback in the draft this year, right?

Speaker 1 Likely Kyler Murray. Although, yeah, John Groom does love old-ass, tall, white quarterbacks.
Is Jeff Carcia available?

Speaker 1 But I could absolutely see Antonio Brown just ruining a rookie's confidence before they even get on the field, before like week one. Yes, yes, absolutely.
All right, Hank, last up.

Speaker 1 We got guys on chicks. Sure do.

Speaker 1 Hey, big boy. I mean, PFT.
Oh, what? Yeah, Hank just added that. No,

Speaker 1 I'm not even joking, Liam.

Speaker 1 You're fine. That's fine.

Speaker 1 Two things. One, my boyfriend has been asking me to watch porn with him.
Dot, dot, dot. Why? Two, he also asked to watch me masturbate, and my response is, why don't you just fuck me?

Speaker 1 And he says, it's sexy. Is this normal? Why doesn't he want to have sex, but he wants to watch other people get off?

Speaker 1 Hmm, that's a good question. It's like,

Speaker 1 why don't you go out in the backyard and tackle somebody instead of turning on NFL football all day on Sunday? Sometimes it's better to watch the pros do it. Yeah.
You learn from it, right? Take film.

Speaker 1 Do a little film study. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sup, fam, especially Big Cat in this situation. I know the NFL season is months away, but it's always on my mind.

Speaker 1 I didn't have a football alliance growing up, and I became a Bears fan when I met my boyfriend four years ago. By now, it feels like it's been my entire life.

Speaker 1 I lived through the lows of Jake Cutler's last seasons, and then the John Fox era, and through highs, that were the Khalil Mack Trading Club dubbed this season.

Speaker 1 Somehow, it's not enough, and he doesn't consider me a true fan. What will it take to prove my loyalty? Get a face tattoo.
Just buy him tickets to a game. Yeah, or get a Bears face tattoo.

Speaker 1 Getting a face tattoo, I say, would do it. Get him season tickets.
Get him season tickets. Yes.

Speaker 1 Get him season tickets and maybe like bid on like a charity event where you get to hang out with Khalil Mack for like $50,000. Yeah, take him to meet the Bears cheerleaders one day.

Speaker 1 Pay him the NFL salary. Get him signed by the Bears.
That works. That's easy.
I ran into a dude like this in the stands. He was from Australia, right?

Speaker 1 He was like right behind me and I was cheering when the USA scored a try. He's like, Mike, you don't know anything about rugby.
And I was like, excuse me?

Speaker 1 And he became, well, he was like saying this to the big group of people around him. He was just policing their fandom.
Saying like, he started like asking questions. Nine very stupid rugby teams.

Speaker 1 And then when I did, he's like, you just got some of the last one. And I was like, hey, do you know the ABL? Wait,

Speaker 1 ABL? Is this just a scene from Goodwill Hunting? Yeah, basically. He was the, how do you like apples? And so I was like, hey, do you like apples? And he was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I own a team in the Australian National Basketball League. How do you like them apples? Then he shut his stupid face up.
Hell yes. Did any of that happen?

Speaker 1 Yeah, then they didn't even finish in third place, like a winner. What's up, Bubba?

Speaker 1 One of my best guy friends wants to pretend to be a couple for his new swingers app so we can do full swaps. Would this make our friendship weird or bring it to a new level? Wait, so it's perfect.

Speaker 1 Shouldn't he ask the deaf girl he's currently sleeping with? Wait, what? That's a shot. That's a shot.

Speaker 1 M. Night Shyamalan.
Sounds like she's jealous of this deaf girl. Wait, so

Speaker 1 they're doing a swap. What? This guy wants to do a swingers app.
Okay.

Speaker 1 He's recruiting his friend that's a girl to pretend to be his partner. Got it.
Even though he's dating a deaf girl. So they can do a swinging switch.
Wait, but

Speaker 1 that's not even swinging. That's just having sex with your friend with another girl that you met on an app.
It's just having sex with another girl while also being your friend's pimp. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should do it. Don't do it.
I say you should do it. Don't do it.

Speaker 1 Don't do it. Just do it.

Speaker 1 Not really a chick-specific question, but I am a chick.

Speaker 1 I've always wondered if PFT's vision is fucked up because whenever I go inside to outside or vice versa in sunglasses, I feel like I can't see properly for hours.

Speaker 1 Just curious how it is living so mysteriously always.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is kind of fucked up. Also, are your sunglasses prescription?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 They're not prescription. Big-time prescription.
He doesn't like to talk about it. They're not prescription.
He has the worst sight ever. I've got great sight, but it has...

Speaker 1 My My eyesight has definitely been affected by them. That's just getting older, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like if I'm indoors at nighttime and I have to wear these things, I might as well just be in a black pit. I can't see shit.

Speaker 1 By the way, we should do someone throughout the once a month we should do guys on guys. No, that's weird.
All right. Never mind.
No, once a month. No, once a month.

Speaker 1 Every 28 days, we should just go check out guys because girls aren't available. Right.
And also, but like give advice to guys on how to be better guys.

Speaker 1 Okay. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank. Hank's not into it.
Damn. Well, I mean, no, it's.
Hank's that friend who's like, yo, if we're not going out for pussy, I'm not going out. No, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you should do time.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I think Big Cap brings a good point, which is

Speaker 1 someone else's. We need to expand our guy demographic.
We don't have enough more listeners. Loose

Speaker 1 to this show. So let's do, you know what? Let's do once a month Wednesdays.

Speaker 1 Just for guys. Finally, a part of my take for dudes.
Right. Hey, boys, especially cranky hanky.
Ha ha, that's good.

Speaker 1 You are cranky. My boyfriend is going to be really cranky recently.
No, not at all. You guys have been very mean to me, but that's alright.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend is going to a bachelor party in Nashville this weekend. How do I make sure he misses me?

Speaker 1 Go. Yeah.
Just show up. Here's what you do.
Get a hotel room directly across the hallway from him. Hang out.
You'll be like Doug Christie's wife that follows the NBA team around all the time.

Speaker 1 Actually, no, in a weird way, that would work because he'll probably break up with you and then in a month he'll miss you.

Speaker 1 So, there you go. He'll miss you.
Oh, actually, here's the best way. Truth be told.
Recommend a super hot, hot chicken place to him in Nashville.

Speaker 1 And then, before they go out at night, he's just going to be on the toilet the whole time.

Speaker 1 And he'll be like, man, I really miss my girlfriend.

Speaker 1 I wish I was home, and I wish she was taking care of me. She's so sweet.
She'd understand when my stomach hurts.

Speaker 1 All right, last one.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 Hey, Big Cat and PFT. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three and a half years, but we never get to have drunk sex anymore after going out because he gets too fucked up every time.

Speaker 1 Does he not care about having drunk sex when we get home and just settles for sober morning sex? Yeah, honestly, like that is way better, anyways. Yeah, drunk sex is sex is dangerous.

Speaker 1 The cool thing is, like, drunk sex, when you're younger, you're like, this is awesome. I'm doing something very cool.
I'm lasting as long as I would have if I had a Roman swipe. Exactly.

Speaker 1 When you get older, you're like, this sucks. I'm lasting as long as I would.
I just want a Roman swipe. I just want to fart.
I just want to go to bed. Yeah.
And deal with this hangover.

Speaker 1 When you get older, it's like the drinking is basically just thinking about the hangover that's coming.

Speaker 1 The second half of every night. When we were out on Saturday night, I was like, this is going to suck.
By about 11 o'clock, I was like, this is bad. I've gone too far.

Speaker 1 That's our show. See everyone Friday.
We've got some big guests coming up. I'm going to be thin as shit by then, Hall of Famers.
We have some big.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Hall of Famers. Yes, actually.

Speaker 1 Many Hall of Famers.

Speaker 1 And future Hall Hall of Famers. And we have a new episode of Gold coming out on Thursday.
So if you want to buy gold, is that true? Yeah, that'll be a big announcement inside of that episode. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay. Huge announcement.
Damn, everything's coming up.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 1 Everything's coming up, listeners. Everything's coming up.
PFT is going to start puking.

Speaker 1 No, I think it's... What is the diarrhea to do? Just diarrhea or also puking?

Speaker 1 Oh, have you guys seen the new.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'm totally off top.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the new energy drink that every Instagram model is using? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Stay woke on that one. I need to get on it.
ASAP. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Also, if you're a dietitian out there, like an actual dietitian, not Billy, give me some tips.

Speaker 1 And I want a diet where I can still eat wings. Drink claws.

Speaker 1 No, not beer. Claws up for the caps.

Speaker 1 Eat wings. Drink beer.
Triggers claws.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know what? No vegetables. So that's my requirements.
requirements.

Speaker 1 Hit me. I'm good.
Don't even eat it. Love you guys.
There's going to be an uncle soon, dude. You can eat whatever you want.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 in a day or two.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 in a day or two.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I've heard it's about being stolen away.

Speaker 1 Then

Speaker 1 why the sharp pain say unto me

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 you're in the sports sports. It's pardon my tape presented by Barstool Sports.