Dricus Du Plessis, Dana White, And a Special Guest + The Mt Rushmore Of Unsexy Things That Are Sexy Plus Listener Submitted Football Takes

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On today's pardon, my take, we have a massive, massive, massive show for the AWLs. We've got Dricus De Plessy,

UFC fighter champion in studio. South African.
He's South African? I'm South African, sir. And then we have Dana White.
We have UFC 319 coming Chicago on Saturday nights.

So it was awesome to talk to the guys.

And then we are going to do, we have Hot Seat Cool Throne. We have Pardon Your Takes football version.
We have the Mount Rushmore of unsexy things that we find sexy.

And

we are out.

We're on the road for the start of the show. We'll be back in our studio, but we're going to kick it around.
We missed hard knocks, but we'll maybe talk about what we missed and talk a little ball.

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The crown is yours. Okay, let's go.

my take.

Yeah.

Part and my take.

Yeah.

Part and my take.

Yeah.

Martin My Take.

Yeah.

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Today is Wednesday, August 13th. And boys, we got a show.

We got a show.

There's podcast wars going left and right. We weren't on the Times 100.
The Kelsey boys, we like them both,

they got Taylor Swift. We then got Taylor Swift.
We missed out on Benjamin Netanyahu. Yep, but it's on.
It's on.

How are we doing? How are we feeling? How's everyone doing? Feeling great. Yeah.
We're in God's country right now. Yeah, we're in the Ozarks.

I'm sleeping in the same room with Zach tonight. I'm a little nervous.
We are bunk mates. We are bunk mates.

Hank and Max are shacking up together. Yep.
Shane and memes. PFT, we're here for PFT because he's in the internet invitational.
He needs his rest.

How the vibes? I'm sleeping like a king. So we did the draft tonight.
Now we can't get ahead of it because we have to wait until later on this fall for everything to come out.

But I'll put it this way. Actually, I don't really know how to put it because I was thinking thinking to myself, you know, imposter syndrome? Yeah.

What do you call imposter syndrome when it's 100% real? Like, you should not actually be in that room. Yeah, you just should not be in that room.
I think I just knew I should not be in that room.

Yeah. There's a lot of great golfers that are here.

There's me. I don't think I'm the worst golfer here, but there's a lot of people that are very, very good at golf.
And I just have to go out and play the best round of my life tomorrow. There you go.

Which I will do, by the way. I'm confident in myself.
I've been coached up by maybe the best coach in the world when it comes to teaching you how to make time in your life to play golf.

That's why I brought Hank Lockwood on board. I brought Max on as my nutrition expert, and he did a great job.

You know why you did a great job, Max? Because you didn't tell me what to eat. You didn't give me your diet to eat.
So by avoiding telling me what you're eating, that actually made me healthier.

Smart. You're the only one who knows your own body.

That's how I know. That is, well, there's

a wonderland. I disagree with that.

All right, so we're getting ready for that. Obviously, yeah, it's going to be taped, so we can't really talk about what transpires.
How do we like hard knocks tonight?

Hank, why don't you go first? I saw the busting guys did an interview with Josh Allen on it. Yep.
That was good. Yep.
That's sick. That was awesome.
That's sick.

I thought it was good. Pinto Ron was on it for a minute.
We didn't watch, just for anyone's trying to wonder. But yeah,

anything else, guys?

This one featured Mitch Trubisky, Mike White, and Shane Buchel. Oh, okay.
So we're getting into the backup quarterback battle.

Was that Grock that gave you that? No, I read an article on Sports Illustrated. It might have been written by AI.
They've got AI writers over there. They talked about DeMar, too.
Prayers for DeMar.

Prayers for DeMar. Prayers for DeMar.

We also had.

So. I don't know where, yeah, what else do we want to talk about? We have a lot of show that we already taped.

There's one question that I had for you about the NFL. Is Matt Stafford okay? I don't think so.
I saw that he has a, what looks like, it's basically an RV that sits next to training camp.

And I watched the video. It's this like futuristic, clear table that he sits on that's supposed to give him energy and make his body better.

We're in the junk science of Matt Stafford's career of like, hey, you know what? A quarterback, how old is Matt Stafford? Let me pull up my chart real quick that I actually got community noted on.

Matt Stafford is 38 years old. 37.
Okay, 37.

We're at 37 years old trying to, and I think the Rams are going to be good this year if Matt Stafford can stay healthy, but the junk science does make you a little nervous if you're a Rams fan.

So I hadn't heard too much about the floating glass table. And what you described just sounds to me like what that chick was sleeping on, the fifth element, that movie.
It kind of looks like so.

He's in the fifth element right now. Yeah, hold on.
I'll pull it up so you can take a look.

Because Sean McVay, last year, or last week, he said that Matt Stafford could play in a game if we had one this week and then today sean mcvay said i don't know if matt stafford could play right now so matt stafford might have gotten injured in the hypothetical game that he could have played last week yeah all right that's where we're at so here's what it is uh

it is a

matthew stafford walked into this immortal chamber A mortal advertises itself as a wellness device that aims to optimize human performance and promote holistic health through a combination of non-invasive technologies.

He is not practicing today.

That's not a paragraph you want to read.

I feel like we're one step away from crystal healing. Yeah,

here's what I'm just going to say.

I'm not a doctor. Here's where I always kind of take a little left turn when I'm reading these things.
When the words wellness device,

optimize,

and

holistic health

through a combination of non-invasive technologies. I'm going to say that's junk science.
Yeah, no, we're getting heavy into the dream catchers, the crystals, the aromatherapy.

We're pulling out all the stops, which you should for a quarterback that is. My theory on this has been this entire offseason that Sean McVay is essentially giving Matt Stafford camp off.
Yeah.

And that this is what he's choosing to do instead of having to practice. At some point, you probably have to practice, and at some point, I'm going to get concerned.
Yeah.

I think

I'm thinking about becoming concerned about Matt Stafford. That's where I'm at.
Doctor said he needed bacchiotomy. It doesn't sound great.

Today they said surgery has not been discussed. Yeah.
That's discussing

discussing it. Being like, no, we're not going to discuss it.
I,

yeah,

I'm actually, I'm a big junk science guy because I do think there's something to be said for

if you can placebo affect yourself and lay on this glass table and holistically, non-invasively make yourself feel better, better.

There is worth in it, but still, I don't want my franchise quarterback on this glass table in this Winnebago

in-between practices on a company called the Immortal Chamber. I just want to want my quarterback on a glass table, period.
Yeah, that sounds dangerous. Yeah.

Speaking of danger, Jordan Love did get hurt. Yeah, so he had a procedure.

He had a procedure on his thumb. He was a non-throwing thumb.
Look at this. This is what the Immortal Chamber looks like.

It is.

That's exactly. Look at that.

Oh, we got to get one of those. We do have to get one of those.

It probably costs $700,000 or something. It looks like a milking table.

You know what? I'm going to book an appointment.

The Brown should get one of those. Yeah, it does.
It does.

Uh-oh, my mic. My mic.
My mic.

Yeah, that's not good. So, yeah, Jordan Love procedure on his thumb, banged on a helmet.
Also, is not 32 years old. I did get my first community noted.

I've never been community noted before, but I got community noted. Yeah, community notes is bullshit.
Yeah.

It's like Wikipedia for X. So I might have put out a graphic that had every quarterback's age, and I changed Jordan Love's age to 32, and then everyone was like, what the fuck, dude? He's 26.

Whatever. Well, his thumbs are falling apart.
Whoops. That's an old guy injury.
My bad. I saw that Aaron Rodgers, there's some concern about his helmet.
And also he likened himself to Joe Biden.

In like falling off a bike? No, he said that

after a game, he goes and tries to find guys his age that he knows, and he realized very quickly he didn't know anyone, so he was like Joe Biden on the debate stage, and then he quickly was just like, where's Cam Hayward and TJ Watt?

I saw that he also got stepped on.

That made me think that like maybe Aaron Rodgers is just drugs at this point, and that's what they're talking about. But no, apparently he actually got stepped on by a foot.
Yep. But he's okay.
Yep.

Did he, wait, did he refer to himself as Joe Biden?

He said

after 21 years in the league, he gravitates towards the old head.

So when he was walking off the field in Jacksonville and started looking around, he did the Joe Biden, realized he didn't know anyone, and then joined up with Cam Hayward and TJ Watt.

Okay, so they're just going to install

Will Howard as the quarterback and not ask anybody. Yes, correct.
Right before OpenStreetMap. Even though he's hurt.
Yeah, okay. Even though he's a flawed candidate.
Yep.

Okay, so yeah, we had had that.

I'm trying to think of what else. Oh, you know what? Let's do.

I want to do two things. One, I want to get you guys excited about a weekend.
This is always fun. We did this a couple of weeks ago.
Oh, yeah.

I was looking at some of the college football weekends coming up.

November 1st. I want to just throw this out there for you guys.
November 1st.

November 1st, we have Arizona State at Iowa State, Florida, Georgia. Great.
That's a neutral site. Miami at SMU, both teams are going to be good.

Oklahoma, Tennessee, Ohio State, Penn State, South Carolina, Ole Miss, Texas Tech, Kansas State. That's going to be a great weekend.
Don't ask me to do nothing that weekend. Nothing.

We got any other weekends you like? I was just looking at all of them. They're all.
I just like looking at weekends right now. It's fun to look at them.
It's fun to be like, hey,

do not expect me to do a goddamn thing on November 11th.

Or November 1st. It's also important.
Yeah, November 11th, I won't do anything out of respect for the Treasury. That's true.
That's true.

But it's always fun to look at those weekends and then remind yourself that the weekends that look bad, those are actually going to end up being the best weekends. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

And the other thing I wanted to do, just to get us excited, why don't we do, why don't we, everyone, throw out a future?

Hank threw out his bold proclamation that the Patriots are going to be better than every other team on this podcast. Let's do a future.
Let's get our future.

That's available in the DraftKings Sportsbook as well. Oh, you put them up? Yeah, part of the mistake.
Let's do it. Let's all pick a future.

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You want me to start? I'll start. Go for it.
I think the Tampa Bay Bucks minus 110 to win the NFC South is a good bet. I don't hate that.

I like their offense a lot.

I know Tristan Wurfs is out for probably four weeks, but he'll be back. I just think

I might actually also say we're not doing these futures yet, but Baker MVP, maybe.

Maybe. Maybe their 400-pound defensive tack will be playing.
Yeah, actually, I do want to say something real quick about the MVP.

I think we all have to bet Joe Burrow MVP because I've already noticed that the narrative has begun. Of Joe Burrow for MVP? Yes.
Who should the MVP should have already been?

Because last year he was very good. They didn't make the playoffs.
I think that we should do that because

I think the narrative has already started that this is the year he's going to win MVP. Who will the MVP have been? Will have been.
Duke. Shut up, Duke.
Shut up. All right, so that's my pick.

I would like to take the Tambay Buccaneers to win a conference at plus 1300. Whoa,

he won-upped me.

We're feeling sad. You big dogged me.
No, No, that you should go a little further. You big dog me.
No, not at all. Not at all.

I'm confident in the boys. Don't be afraid to big dog me.
I'm just confident in the boys. Okay.
PFT? This is going to go against what you guys said a little bit. Maybe.

Atlanta Falcons to make the playoffs. Okay, no,

plus 155. Yeah, they can still do that.
I like that better than even money. I don't know.
Call me crazy. I like the Falcons.
I like their off. I think I'm higher on Pinnex than most people.
Okay.

Hank?

I'm going to go with with the New England Patriots, Mike Vrabel, Josh McDaniels, Drake May, Stefan Diggs, Lucy Offatusi to make the playoffs plus 120. Okay.
Okay.

Max? I'm also taking the Patriots.

I'm going to put my money where my mouth is. They put it in the drafting sports book, just the part of my take.
Which team on part of my take will have the most wins.

Now, is this a case of you saying something and then having to defend it more? And that's where we're digging in further. I believe it even more.

So what are the odds for them to have the most wins on the podcast uh i believe let me just double check the patriots are plus 600 okay eagles plus 225 commanders plus 475 bucks plus 475 chargers plus 500

bears plus 800 jets plus 3 000. oh you didn't have to laugh before that it's funny it's funny it's all triple diggers and then it's just like that was not

that was

memes is laughing that was not he's no he's laughing he's kind of crying he's borderline crying he's laughing because he's thinking about ways he's going to kill you yeah no he's laughing Max.

Such a meme graphic. Max memes.
Finish us off. What do you got?

I'm going to do, you know,

Eagles is too easy. You don't want to be chalky.
I'm going to do

Jags 3-1 to win the AFC South. Whoa.
Going back to the well.

One more year of believing in the Jags. We'll see what Liam Cohen's done.
Trevor Lawrence was on the show. He got me fired up.
Jags 3-1. Hank didn't like that Liam Cohen.

Didn't like the Liam Cohen line line at all hank hates everyone that we talk to no he's a good guest i the i mean another guest we had on the show who was played for him made a comment that has stuck with me more which was baker saying he was like yeah we'll see how he is as a coordinator as a head coach do you think he's a little upset that he left the buccaneers and the way that he left them or do you think maybe they were their friends and he was busting his balls I don't know.

It was just the way he said it. You know, it made me do a double take.
Okay. Thank you for listening to the show.
You're welcome.

Means. AWO.

I'll finish this off. Baltimore Ravens plus 600 to win the Super Bowl.
Whoa. I think this is finally the year Lamar gets over the hump, Ravens get back.
Okay. Okay.
Spicy.

He's got two humps to get over.

That's true. But he's got to get over the.
He's got to win the AFC, and then he's got to win the Super Bowl. You already talked about both his butt cheeks.
No. Their defense got a lot better.

I just think this is the year it's a Ravens free train to the Super Bowl. Okay.

By the the way, breaking down.

I got breaking moves. I got breaking moves.

Shohei Otani hit into a triple play.

Can't win an MVP like that. Can you?

That's an insane thing. That's a highlight that's going to stick with him, too.
Can't win. That might be the start of his Hall of Fame in the middle.
Did Douglas just get doubled up? What?

It wasn't like a

6-5-4-3. No, he just hit a line drive.
The shortstop was basically standing over the bag. He hit a line drive to the shortstop.
Shortstop doubled up the guy on second, then through to first.

We're going to talk about his lawsuit in a little bit. I did read an article on the plane right over here after we recorded the first part of the show.

So I know a little bit more about what he's being sued for. Okay.
So there was a real estate deal in Hawaii. There was a guy that was involved in it.

They wanted to get Shohei involved because if Shohei invests in property on this island, then boom, all of a sudden it opens up up for Japanese tourists to

buy houses, things like that. With Shohei,

apparently his representative made some demands, including they didn't like one of the guys that was involved in the deal, allegedly edged that guy out of the deal.

Now that guy's mad, and he's suing Shohei. Yeah, you can't sue for that.
Yeah, so that's just deal. That's how deals are done.

Shohei's a double threat guy. He does gambling and real estate fraud.
Triple threat. Yeah.
And it's in a triple threat place.

Can't win an MVP that way. Max, is Leonard Dickerson okay?

Yes, he is. Okay.
He is hopeful to be back

by week one. Oh.
Meniscus, right? Yeah, no.

You guys got a great staff in Philly.

Different programs.

I would prefer if you had socks on.

I just looked down and saw

a lot of toes.

Yeah, no, Landon Dickerson,

big one. Is that jarring to you?

He's an absolute. I can't see his feet, which I'm happy with.
I can see the clankers. He's just toes.
He's just toes out for the boys.

I mean, we were waiting here for five fucking hours, so we went in the pool. All right?

I didn't want to put wet socks on.

Multiple people in that pool?

Me and memes. Some laps?

Me and memes

were chilling. Max, is this the injury? Does he have to wear a knee brace to the club?

I'm happy. I would be happy if he did.
Keep that thing safe.

Keep that as safe as could be. You went through a roller coaster yesterday with your not understanding meniscus.
I didn't know that JJ McCarthy sat out the entire year for a meniscus.

I thought meniscus was something that you could easily just play through. Well, there's, don't you remember the Joel and B? Like, do you want to shave it down? Yeah.

Yeah, do you want to do the short repair or the long repair? Dwayne Wade has no, Dwayne Wade is like, is like bone on bone on his knee

because he just always did the, the,

he never did the full surgery. He always just did like the shave it down.
Yeah, I get. I mean, yeah, and B never missed a full year for his meniscus.
I guess last year he missed most of the year.

I don't know. I hear

when there's words like ACL and Achilles and Meniscus going out,

meniscus is by far the best of the three. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd agree with that.
You're right on that. So he's good.
Yeah, no, he's fine. He's fine.

Minor procedure. Okay.

Week to week. The last thing I had before we're going to, we're back in studio.
We got Taylor Swift. Did we mention we have Taylor Swift on this podcast today? Fucking.

And Taylor told us some crazy stuff about NFL players that Taylor enjoys.

Podcasts that Taylor listens to a lot. Gave us a sneak peek on what Taylor's got coming up in the near future.
So I'm very excited.

So the last thing I had was, did you guys see Michael Porter Jr. do a podcast and he basically was like, I'm addicted to sex? He did the Meek Mill.
He did the Meek Mill. And he also kind of

like threw his brother under the bus there. He said, Everybody has different vices.

Everybody has different things they struggle with that can go with people who struggle from alcohol, people that struggle with drugs. You know, for example, my brother struggled with gambling.

My vices always come in the form of women. And when I'm far from God and I'm not in my word, I'm not praying.
I'm not prioritizing him like that.

Seems to be the place the devil gets me is in the space of women. And basically, saying

his brother couldn't get chicks

and also

he gets a shitload of chicks. He gets so much chicks.
I mean, most chicks.

To come out as a my vice is women is just a big-time brag. Who said it? Michael Porter Jr.
or Meek Mill? When I got to go around me, I'm fucking her twice a day. Lol, ask some of your favorites.

Pussy don't control me, but it's like a high. One love to the gay people,

but that juicy pussy do it for me.

I done ran red lights to get that feeling. Y'all weird on here like devils.

It reminds me of Tiger Woods having to do a press conference saying he's a sex addict in front of his mom. Yeah.
That was a crazy one.

You remember when Mike Piazza gave a press conference to say that he was straight? He was not gay, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, he had to come out and say, hey.

I'm straight. Straight as could be.
Yeah, just so you know. Stop asking.
Just so you know. Don't print it in the papers.

I have never been gay. My dick, my dick loves that sweet pussy.

Lol.

Okay.

We got a lot of show back in studio, so let's kick it to ourselves.

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Okay, hot seat, cool throne. Henry.
Yeah.

No more Wally Pip. People were mad that we made

Zach say the Wally Pip line. I thought it was funny.
Because it's not. He was so, he so didn't want to say it.

Yeah. You're back.
I didn't think it was funny. No,

it wasn't unfunny. I didn't think it was like the funniest thing.

No one said it was the funniest.

Did he mess up your ass groove on that couch no no it's good you've been working on that groove for a while he did bury guests sit here too he did bury a bunch of farts in there it's fine i mean get again guests sit here too it's not just my it's not my couch

it's your couch it's hank's couch it's a studio couch okay uh what do you think about the countdown to your 40th birthday uh well it's it's blank that was actually gonna be one of my hot seats is me okay because we put up these new clocks in the studio and the countdown of my 40th birthday has nothing on it which means i'm just gonna die before i'm 40 i think no is that what that means zach wally pip

So he's got so much more life to live until 40, we've got to get two more additional clocks because he's got thousands of thousands of days before 40. So that clock doesn't hold all the days.

So we're going to get three clocks. So it's like one clock will be all three clocks will have like 999.
One will count down. And then when that one's done, it will go to the next one.

Can I give a critique? Yeah.

As a football, you know, we're a football podcast. We love football.

The countdown to the Super Bowl is kind of a depressing clock. Why? Because it means football's over.
But then there's going to be another clock that is the start.

We've got to get a different clock that has to be done. Like, you guys are not going to like our clocks as it gets down below 100th days.

But if we have another clock that counts down to the kickoff for next year before we get to the Super Bowl, then that's fine. Then we got a clock.
That will be the one.

So right now it's countdown to this season. As soon as this season starts, it will be countdown to next season, and we have the countdown to the next game.

So right now we have four clocks for people who aren't watching. We have countdown to the next NFL game, which will change, which will be updated every single week.

We have countdown to next season, so those two clocks are synced up right now. Great job syncing them up.
We have countdown to Super Bowl, then we have countdown to Hank's 40th.

I also want to add a clock behind PFT and I, maybe in the middle of us, and it's just going to say days since Max last got triggered. And so we'll be able to hit that live as he gets mad.

And I don't, what do we think over under? How many days do you think that ever will get to? I think at the maximum, what's the distance between Thursday night and Sunday night? It's like three days.

Three days. I think we're going to have a three-day maximum on that.
You don't have to have double digits on that one. No, we don't.
That one could just both. It'll get to double digits for sure.

No way. I guarantee you never.

I'm going to be a better guy.

No,

you're a great guy. You're a great guy.
And the best max is when you get upset. I also think we should do countdown to March Madness.
Okay.

That'll be good to have just when the Super Bowl clock runs out. Can I throw another one out there? Yeah.
Countdown to the Masters. Yeah, I like that.

What's that, Hank? You're a golf guy. Yeah, but we're a football podcast.
This is football. Yeah, but

this whole clock wall is just a countdown to everything. I just want the whole, the whole wall to be clocks.
I think we should keep it to football. Okay.
All right. Okay.

And your birthday. Your hot seat is your 40th.
My hot seat was just me. No, well, I didn't like that as blank.
That was a little bit ominous. Well, listen.

Looking at the clocks running and then looking to countdown to 40 and it's just blank was. Blank.

You're never going to to get there yeah didn't love that yeah max that hank brings up a good point if we once we do get the countdown to hank's 40th set

what happens if you do die up until 40 what would where what would we do with that clock what what would you want us to do with that clock

just throw it in my casket i'll get buried with it should we just like keep it stagnant of where it is or just or just blank

we just no no keep it going and then like have a big party or something on your 40th yeah oh okay i would have wanted this. That sounds fun.
All right, yeah, go ahead. Two seats for everybody.
Yeah.

And golfing. Yeah.

I like that. Golfing.
Listen, Hank, we would do a countdown to our 50th, but your 40th is going to come before our 50th, so it would be wrong for us.

Yeah, we'll switch it up to our 50th after you turn 40. That's fine.
So really, that clock is also a countdown to when that clock becomes a countdown to our 50th birthday. That's fun for you.
Yeah.

Okay. I like that.
Okay. My other hot seat was college players Venmo transactions.
Yeah, I had that.

Yeah, me too. I don't think John Matier did anything wrong.
John

John Matier,

great quarterback. Who decided to dig it up, but they went.

And Venmo, Venmo is an interesting, like, I don't know, it's not really a social media app, but like, for whatever reason, the Venmo algorithm. It's really when you're really bored.

Like, this has only happened to me a few times when I've been like maybe taking a shit and I'm like, I have nothing else to do.

And you go on Venmo, and the feed will just show you people that you're not friends with. You don't even know.

It's like maybe someone you're friends with from high school or like someone that's in your Facebook friends. And it's just showing you their transactions.

And it's kind of weird being like, I don't, why do I know that this person that I, you know, was like in my college floor 12 years ago is like paying for utilities to this other person.

Like this is the bizarre thing to be looking at. But someone went and found John Matiers.

and Arch Bannings, and there's, you know, then it just kind of started a tidal wave of people looking up their favorite players. Venmo transactions.

John Matiers just had a couple that were just sports gambling with parentheses, like the game that he was gambling. UCLA versus USC.
That could mean anything.

That could literally mean anything. I don't know why people are jumping to conclusions.
And then were the Arch Banning ones real? I don't know if they were real or not.

They kind of might have been Photoshop because it was like Arch Banning, like Zaza. It said butt stuff, Pooh Sheisty, nice hair, cheated, but.

Now, I think that I saw one that said Zaza.

Also, John Matier had turning gay, gay boy, slapping some balls, big fat cock.

Again, this could mean anything.

Literally anything. C-O-K-C.
Yeah. That's how it's spelled.
Now, the sports gambling ones, I feel like that is just a joke. Correct.
Right?

Like, if you've used Venmo, you send your boys fake things all the time. For example, I looked up Max Delente's Venmo transactions

back in 2019. How many did Jack McCarthy? No,

this is pre-Barstall. Max pre-Barstel had an open Venmo transaction page.
By the way, that's the biggest story of this. There's literally a button that you click that says private.

You just go private.

It's so easy. I'm crying.
This,

I'm nervous about what you're going to do. As you were having this conversation, I was like, fuck, I should probably.
You probably should.

Okay, so what we've got here, I've got

on December 3rd, 2019, it's just a tree. You got paid for a tree, Max, where you say

that. that.

And then you charge somebody else on that same day for another tree. Sounds like you sold multiple trees.
Totally

on that day. Totally big tree guy.
And then on December 15th, you paid someone else for a tree. For a tree emoji.
I used to do tree work in high school.

So that could be that could have been like my boss. Any question?

Any ski trips? I don't see any ski trips on here. I see one that's just a beast.

Yeah. That guy's probably being a beast.
You paid somebody for a beast.

You paid somebody for a bully. You just go and bully.
Okay.

Jerry calls people bullies all the time. That is true.
And then, let's see, there's another one.

You got paid a lot of money for darts.

Oh, yeah. Me and my friends used to play, used to play darts in our first apartment and charge each other money.

But the big takeaway is that you were buying and selling a lot of trees back then on Venmo. Yeah.
Good for you. I was a Christmas tree salesman, too.
You know how the game is.

Sometimes you got to take it to Venmo. It's a business.
You got to titled it. Every game is a business.
It is. It's a business.

So I think that people, like, if you're sending somebody something that says sports gambling and the person is

very clearly involved in college athletics, you're fucking with that person or they're fucking with you. Right.
Right. This is, it's, it's crazy.

Again, it could mean quite literally anything. The fact that people are taking this literal is nuts.
Also, John Materias on my Heisman watch list.

Completely irrelevant to completely irrelevant. Completely irrelevant.
I just looked because

I didn't realize that people have just been requesting money from me. Oh, yeah.
Ben

Hewford said, saw a really cool painting of some clowns for sale.

I should have hit him up for that. $100.

Someone also said.

People are just going to start Veno requesting you. Yeah, but I don't even look at it, so I don't care.

Jordan Tufano said for making me listen to Mincy Daly. That one I should have probably hit up.
Yeah. This Joe Orr said mystery.
That's a

mystery. Yeah, I've got a bunch of outstanding Venmart requests on here.
I think Hank still owes me $1,000 for one of them, but that's okay.

Yeah, I owe you like $9,000, but we're getting that back next week.

Okay. All right, good.
Yeah, that was a funny story that was going on. I don't think anything's going to happen because how can you prove it?

Yeah, I don't think that you can. I mean, the fact that he said sports gambling, parentheses, UCLA versus USC on the day that that game happened, that's going to be a tough one to defend for him.

Yeah. I don't know if the NCAA has a good sense of irony.
My guess is that they don't, that their investigators don't get jokes. Yeah.

But we'll see. Yeah, we'll see.
We'll see. All right.
What's your cool throne? My cool throne is Miles Garrett driving fast. Yeah.
Georgia Bulldog. Georgia Bulldog.

He obviously got in a car accident in 2022, flipped his Porsche, bad accident.

And then he was sighted Saturday morning, I think, coming back from their game after the plane landed, going 160 mile an hour.

And the team is aware of the situation. Okay, I think this was his seventh time.

That's the problem with having sick cars. You just want to go fast.
You know what? I never thought of it that way, but it's the car's fault. It's really easy to go really fast.
Right. Yeah.

Like, too easy. He probably didn't know he was speeding.
What's the update on your sick car? Are you getting car? Are you getting a sick one?

I want to. Okay.
Can we blame Shadur Sanders for this? Bad leadership?

Yeah. Bad leadership.
This is 2v1 right now. Shadur's fault.
If Flacco was starting, he'd be going five miles an hour under the speed limit. Yeah.

SEC speed. That's what he's got.
Yeah, he's got to get like an old truck or something.

Like a car that, you know, if it goes over like 60, it starts to like shake. Yeah.

He should probably. So when you have these like new sick, you know.
You just tap it and it goes 100 miles an hour. Right.
You can also just get rides. Do you think that he maybe just says that? Well,

so

yes and no, because obviously you should, if you're like going out for a night, you should have a driver and security, whatever. I do love driving.
Like I've always thought about that.

Like, why aren't these guys just getting driven places?

If you're getting driven to work every day, that kind of sucks. I would like to drive.
Yeah, driving can be fun. It can be good like release, especially when you're driving home from work.

Yeah, it's nice. It's nice to have that little separation.
I don't driving to work, it's like good to

get in your own zone and focus. Yeah, I wouldn't want to have a chauffeur around if I were a professional athlete.
No.

Again, going out, yes, but like, there's a there's a fly in here that's just been bothering me. And we don't.

Said episode of Breaking Bad. Yeah.
This is a fly episode, yeah.

Okay, yeah, but

you're right. The car's fault.
You shouldn't speed. 100 miles an hour,

100 miles an hour is pretty dangerous, especially if you do it all the time, if you're doing it constantly. You should not do that, but

I'd rather it be a defensive player doing it than if it was a quarterback. If a quarterback is driving 100 miles an hour, I'm like, bad leadership, bad teammate.
Wait, this is not QB.

It's like wearing your hat backwards. Didn't Shador get pulled over for the same thing? No, I don't think so.
I think Shador is clean as a whistle. Okay.

How fast was he going? He was going like 120. He was going 101.

Yeah.

You ever watch those videos of the Audubon? Okay, so it is. It scares the fuck out of me when they're going like 200 miles an hour.
It's crazy. What if you hit a pothole?

I don't think the Audubon has potholes. You never know.
Yeah.

You never know.

What if you hit a rock?

Going 100 miles an hour is a problem,

but also Georgia football has won a lot of games. So if that's, if Cleveland is taking on that mentality, then this could end up having them have a chance at the division.
That's all I'm saying. Yeah.

All right. Good hot seat, cool thrown, Hank.
Thank you. Great job, Hank.
Great job. Great job.
So my hot seat was going to be John Matier, but I think we covered that. My cool throne is John Gruden,

our colleague John Gruden.

He has won a part of a lawsuit against the NFL. Nice.
So

this could go all the way to the Supreme Court if the NFL appeals it.

That would be awesome. At the heart of it is Coach Gruden is saying that the NFL unfairly leaked his emails to various media sources

was part of the Washington football team Dan Snyder toxic culture investigation.

And then magically, these emails from John Gruden, one of like 13,000 emails that they had, appeared in the Wall Street Journal. Then some more got leaked.
I think Adam Schefter was involved.

Remember when Schefter got on TV? He's like, he made a clean sweep of insulting remarks against

minorities and NFL commissioners because

he made fun of Roger Goodell in one of the emails that was released. Right.
So this could go all the way to the Supreme Court. Which would be awesome.

And if the Supreme Court loses that, my guess is they're going to try to settle with John Gruden and be like, hey, we don't want to go to Discovery because then John Gruden and his legal team could get their hands on all these emails that the NFL had.

Everything. Which the NFL desperately does not want.
They'll probably try to settle it, but if they don't, then it goes to arbitration.

And if John Gruden wants to burn the whole thing down, he can burn the whole thing down if he wants to. So looks like the Rabbits got the gun, Commissioner Goodell.
Let's go.

Or you could just let John Gruden coach again. That would be awesome.
That would be awesome. He said that he recently said he would love to coach in the SEC.
I think we're all rooting for that. But

we should have Florio on at some point because we don't really know what we're talking about when it comes to these legal cases. Hell no.
And Florio is all over this one. This is like his wet dream.

My other cool throne is my golf swing because I think I'm back. Let's go.
I think I'm back. You know how when I talked to you, Hank, I said I was

once I fixed something, another part of my swing broke.

Well, I just decided that yesterday I was just going to step up and I was going to hit the fucking ball. HFB.
That's what I'm saying. Just hit the fucking ball.
Don't think about anything.

I was thinking about too much stuff. And I'm confident in my

mind. I'm confident in my ability.
I'm locked in. I'm going to bring back $250,000.
Woo! And we're going to have a big Tussie party. Woo!

Right, Hank? Yep. Big Tucsi party.
Hell yes. The biggest.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
And then I'm going to owe somebody $25,000.

Who's that?

Somebody who bought a t-shirt. Oh, yeah.
I owe them $25,000. Yeah, that's right.

I'm excited about the Internet Invitational this week, though. Yeah.
The way I see it, if I play my best, I should be the best of the worst golfers there.

That's a big place to be in. The best of the worst is a great spot to be in.
That's a great spot to be in.

All right, my hot seat is the Indianapolis Colts. Did you guys see the pretzel they debuted? We're in new menu items

in the NFL

for the preseason games, but they did a pretzel that just looks like a giant poop. It's supposed to be...

That's the shoe. It's the shoe, but

it's just a turd. For the shoe.
For the poop.

Our cults. This is our colts.
This is our team. I would eat that pretzel.
Oh, dude. I would eat it in a second.
The soft pretzel is really an underrated, elite appetizer move for the table.

What do you guys

1-1 dip with the soft pretzel? 1-1? Because I know a lot of people like cheese. I like the honey mustard.
I think honey mustard's so good, the salty and sweet.

I would argue that's not even the best mustard. I agree.
Okay, what's the best mustard? Spicy mustard. Spicy brown.
Spicy brown. Listen, I like the spicy brown.
I love the honey mustard.

That's my 1-1. Spicy brown.
To beer cheese is the best.

That's the answer. I want to rank mustards.
I go spicy brown one.

I think Dijon two.

I like yellow. Yeah, straight yellow mustard.
And then I think honey mustard is my my fourth. I like yellow on a dog.

Like, that's like, there are certain things that yellow is important, and I feel like a dog is one of those things. There are certain things that yellow is important.

That's well said. Profound.
There are certain things that yellow mustard is important for. Yeah.

And dogs is one of them. I would say.

Is there anything else that it's important for? A ham sandwich? Yeah. Yeah.
Ham and cheese. Yeah.
Straight on a ham sandwich. That's good.
That's good. Turkey, ham.
Oh,

good yellow mustard.

Okay. And then my cool throne was actually going to be Jon Matier because I don't think he did anything wrong.
I think we're all just reading way too into this whole entire thing.

Let me go cool throne Shohei Otani because

he's getting sued, I think, but for $240 million.

It's a real estate transaction of some sort?

Yeah, I think this is actually a cool throne for Shohei Otani because if he gets sued for $240 million, it kind of just shoves down the whole gambling thing even further.

You know, it's a cool throne for Schwarber MVP. Yep.
I didn't say it. You did.
Yep. Yeah.
I mean,

if you're the MLB, like, you can't have Shoe Otani with all these controversies being the face of your league. That's such a good point.
Like, the gambling one, yeah, maybe.

Blame it on the interpreter. Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice. Like, who, you know, we're about to give this guy his fourth MVP in five years.

MLB writers really need to do like justice here because

they are the keepers of the game. There's a reason why Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa aren't in the Hall of Fame.

They need to be stewards of the game, and Shoe Otani is a bad actor. Very bad.
Kyle Schwarber is a great dude. What are his odds right now? He's minus 1,000.
Not for long. Not for long.

So, wait, he sabotaged a real estate deal. Was this in Japan or was this in the United States?

Hawaii. In Hawaii.
Okay, so we can still blame a translator. Yeah, and I also,

whenever I see a lawsuit

like this for $240 million, I feel like it's just someone just suing because they can sue. It's a huge amount of money.
That's a huge amount of money. And I want to know how he sabotaged it.

Let's look into it. Maybe we need to, you know what? Shohei was gambling.

Sure.

We need to reopen that case for Kyle Schwarzenegger. We should have Ipe on the program.
Yeah. Okay.
At the side of the story. Zach.

So, so my hot seat for today is Instagram. I may be a little bit behind here.
Unbeknownst to me instagram dropped a a map feature recently have you guys seen the map feature on instagram i have not

so uh there's a map feature now you can go in it's over by your messages and you click on a little world icon and uh it's just got your uav just a live location of where you're at and some people are like uh automatically opted into it like mine was just like i was just live and my location was on last night and i had no clue i wasn't sure when this started uh i asked my brother about it he said his was automatically off so i'm not sure if you guys want to maybe check your Instagram messages out there because you could be just live pinging your locations at all times.

Maybe we should.

How do I get there?

I haven't updated my Instagram in a long time.

So you could be good. You might be okay.
All right, so I should not update.

If you update, we just check it and make sure that it's checked off because nobody just wants their location being out there without knowing that they opted into such a thing.

So Zach, yeah, how do I get that? So if you go to the Instagram map. I am not sharing my location.
I see the map.

Okay.

think we should all share our location. Should we start sharing?

I am not sure. I think I share my location with Hank.
Know when you're going on a ski trip?

You share your location with Hank? I think so. I tell you when I'm going on a ski trip.
Hank,

look up Find Your Friends. I think that we were on a trip a long time ago.
I think I enabled location sharing with Hank and nobody else. Yep.
You know who else? I don't.

You know, it's the most random, random person of all time.

We had him on once. I don't know how we ended up sharing location.

Craig Engels. Really? The runner.
Where's he? Oh, that guy rocks. He's in Peru right now.
Damn. Most interesting man in the world.

Did you guys see the other day that we have a high school runner that is like the next great American runner? Yeah, I saw that.

Yeah, he 142, 800-meter. Yeah, he came in second place, I think, in the 800, but 16.
But he crushed the high school record by like 10 seconds. Yeah.
Craig Engels, where is he? He's in Peru.

He's in Peru. That's so weird that you have his location.
So weird. We need to update.
I have like five people's locations. Just tell us when Craig Engels is on the move.
Ben Council Snowboard Ben.

What a name. Okay.

I have somebody that I don't know who it is.

Where do you look for this? You have mine?

I just did find my.

How do you do that? I don't know how to look on it.

Hank. Just search Find My in the search bar.
Hank, you can see my location, but I can't see yours. Wow.
Power move. Yep.
I have nothing. That's like when you used to stalk me on

me right now.

When you used to stalk me on 18 birdies, I had to block you. Oh, I do.
I did have a very embarrassing moment where I,

every day, I would leave my garage and it would update on my phone being like, you've left your iPods behind. Yeah.

Or earPods behind. And I was like, that's weird.
I don't, what? You're so close. AirPods.
I was very close. That was, that was like,

that was like old football.

God damn it.

That really sucked now that I'm playing back. You just said my iPod.
That was was like a snap pace.

That was bad. That was bad.
Hand up. That was bad, guys.

Maybe we do a clock like when Big Cat loses his mind because it's coming up soon. But for the longest time, I was like, that's weird.
It must be like my wife's AirPods or something.

And because I didn't know where my AirPods were. And then I was cleaning out my garage and they were just in a pocket of pants that I had had in my garage in a pile for like eight months.
I love that.

I was like, oh, that's where they are. I love that.
It just updated me every time. So I lost my AirPods in an Uber in New York like seven years ago, eight years ago.
Didn't know where they were

because the Uber driver never got back to me when I reported them lost.

That's a Finder's Keeper situation if you leave them in like an Uber or a Lyft or whatever. I'd never expected to get him back.

But then when we flew to Providence, Rhode Island for the rough and rowdy a couple years ago,

it pinged on my phone. It was like, your AirPods are nearby.
Somebody in Providence is just rolling around. Every time I've been up in the New England area, that's hilarious.

It reminds me, hey, heads up, your AirPods are moving close to you. I thought about rolling up to the dude, but Providence seems like a town you don't want to do that in.
No.

That would be funny, though. Yeah.
It's like, hey, you just walk up to him. So, hey, if you're listening to part of my take, maybe it's a listener right now.
That would be awesome.

And Providence, enjoy. That's my gift to you.
Let's fucking fly. All right, cool throne.
Look at him. He's just, he's, he's, he's taunting us.
The way he's flying, he's taunting us.

You think it's got a camera on it? He's taunting us into, like, he just flew, we buzzed your head. He's taunting us.
It's bothering me. Okay, go ahead, your cool throne.

My cool throne today is EA, because the Battlefield 6 beta has brought realism back into first-person shooter games.

They peaked with 520,000 concurrent players only on Steam, being out Call of Duty for that Warzone 2 at 400,000. I think they were at 490,000 concurrent.

There's actually thousands of people waiting in the queue for the 14th to come along.

You can't play it right now. You got to wait till the 14th.
They're just waiting in queue for a spot to grab. Oh.
Fantastic game. You guys should all go check it out.

I have a video game question for you, Zach. Yes, sir.
I don't know how this ended up in my algorithm, but why are people upset about Mafia the Old Country game that you can't swim?

I've never played Mafia the Old Country game.

I would assume if it's old country theme, though, swimming would be a big survival tactic. Yeah, you can't swim.
And I was just like, what does it matter? Like, that's a classic video game.

You jump in the water and then you respawn.

But now they got now, they're doing swimming. Like, a lot of these guys are doing it.
They're doing swimming. Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, there's a few tropes that you can set your watch to in video games. One, you fall in the water, you're dead instantly, just respawn.

Two, if you shoot a barrel, that barrel is containing like 20 grenades. Yeah, and it's going to blow up.
It's going to explode everywhere.

So you said that it's bringing realism back to first-person shooter. When did we lose realism?

So, like, just here recently in Call of Duty, you could grab a Beavis and Butthead skin. So you could hop into Search and Destroy, or like you could be Nicki Minaj.
You could be 21 Savage.

They got some weapon skins.

There's some leaks from Black Ops 7 where there's a train cart or a roller coaster ride going throughout the weapon as you traverse the map. Battlefield 6, none of that.

We're riding tanks. We're blowing up buildings.
They should have a John Morant skin. Ooh.

I would probably think about getting that one. That'd be a good skin.

I do feel like this always happens. Then COD comes out on top.
Fact or fiction. I agree.
Fact. Yeah, definitely.
Fact.

Okay, good hot seat cool thrones, boys. Let's do our Mount Rushmore.
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We're going to do the Mount Rush more

of

unsexy things that are sexy. I like this one.
So it's kind of like normal things that are sexy.

Our team went for, we're talking about what girls do. Yep.
I don't know if you guys did the same. Very open-ended.

I'm excited for this one. We're neck and neck.

What's the updated score? I think we're all one point apart.

One point apart. So, memes, you got the scores? I've got it.
It's Big Cat and Zach in first place at 35 points. Max and Memes in second, 34 points.
Me and Hank, third place, 33 points. Wow.
Okay.

Okay. Anyone's game.
Anyone's game. Here we go.
The Mount Rushmore of unsexy things that are sexy. And we go first.
You guys go first.

We are going to do

when a girl can finish a big meal. Ooh.
A big eater. You like a big eater.

Just can hold their own at a dinner. Okay.
Because you like to get a lot of apps. And

if you're trying to order lots of things and you go with a girl who doesn't like to eat a lot, then you don't really get to eat a lot.

One time a girl beat me in an eating contest in college, it was on. Yeah, it was so on.
Yeah. Okay.

All right. Good pick.
We're going to go. You want to go with number two here? I'd like two.
Okay. We've talked about this before, PFT.
I think it came up on a Mount Rushmore before.

I can't remember which one it was. Don't take it.
Yeah. The crackdie fire.
Oh. It is so sexy.

But it's unsexy. But it is sexy.
No, you see a cracked dive. It's so hot.
I forgot about that. It's so hot.
By the way, we should. Just absolutely destroyed, obliterated screen.

Can we all just do this, Mount Rushmore, and the trust tree? Because when Zach and I were preparing for it, we were getting way too horny. Yeah.
With some of the shit we were throwing at each other.

Memes was getting horny.

He was saying the most mundane things that... Yes.
Like the most mundane.

We have some very mundane things. Our fourth-round pick, I'm going to let Memes say

one of his mundane things I was insane.

The honorable mentions will rock in this because Zach and I were talking about the most regular things, and basically both of us were just rock hard in my office. Yeah.

When her iPhone screen is so shattered that she's got like tiny little cuts and abrasions on her thumb from using it, I got utterly unusable. It's so hot.
It's so hot. It's so hot.
Okay.

You guys are up. All right, we'll stay on theme there.

We're going to go with smoking cigarettes. Okay, good one.
Yep. Had it.
Had it. Had it.
Yep. Instantly rockets up.
That's worth two points. Yep.
And then we're going to go

sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on. Okay.

Okay.

Good pick, Hank. Okay.

Zach, where are we going to go with this?

I just keep thinking about the video we watched for number eight.

How hot it was. Number eight, it was good.
We basically were watching like it was, it wasn't porn, but the way we were treating it was porn.

It felt like it should have had one of those sensitive content warnings. Yeah.
Okay, we'll go with it.

Throwing a perfect spiral. Oh, okay.
Is so sexy. The Kelsey Plum video.
Is that not just sexy? No, I don't think it's just throwing a ball is not a sexy act. That's the hot.
Perfect spiral. Yeah.

We talk about wanting to fuck perfect spiral. Okay, so you want to just

throw in with perfect form? That works.

Like a girl throwing a it could be a baseball, too. Kelsey Plum has never been hotter than when she threw that.
It was the hottest video ever. It was awesome.
So throwing with perfect form.

That's fine. We can do that.
Throwing with perfect form. Because that was not.
She was throwing a t-shirt and it was so hot. She just had perfect form.
A girl throwing with perfect form is so hot.

Do you think perfect form is? I just don't. I don't understand how it's unsexy.
Because I think it's just throwing. Throwing's not like a.

Throwing sexy guys or girls. Throwing with perfect form.
All right. With anything.
No, no. I'm not trying to.
I'm not trying to. No, stand on business.
Let's go. Stay on business.
Am I wrong?

Stand on business. Like throwing, it could be guy or girl.
Anyone Anyone that throws, anyone that does anything with perfect form is sexy. Okay.
Right? Like, a perfect golf swing.

Like, if a girl is a perfect golf swing, like, that's sexy. Okay, we'll go with something else.
I feel like that.

I feel like that's completely fine. That should play.
All right. Yeah, that's fine.
We'll let the listeners and the viewers decide. I mean, the Kelsey Plump.

Do you guys, you guys obviously have seen the Kelsey Plum video? I just don't see how that's unsexy or how someone would be like, that's unattractive.

Well, it's just like throwing is not, there's nothing sexy about it. Yeah,

it's like a

regular thing. It's a regular thing.
If a girl does it, it's so hot.

Okay. Well, I feel like we should take it off.

No, I think I know if Max

has to stay.

If Max overruled, that's fine. No, I didn't overruled.
If Max was the deciding judge, yeah, I'm the only one who's overruled. No, that's what I'm saying.
I'm fine.

Like, if Max, you know, Max is the third vote and he says that. But it's like the movies one where it's bad movies that are actually good.
People will see that.

If they disagree, they'll be like, that's not a non-sexy thing, so I'm not going to vote for that one. Yeah.
Yeah. That's fine.

So us?

I feel like we just should talk about that Kelsey Plum video a little bit more because let's watch it.

It ruined it for me.

I guess it wasn't.

Yeah, Zach and I had to like, we were just, we were barking at my computer screen.

It's, she just, she launches it.

No, it's a t-shirt. So just say throwing.
Kelsey Plum throwing. Like at a tailgate? Mm-hmm.
Oh, they just launches one. I just saw a picture of her smoking a cigar.

I think she looked better in that than throwing in a t-shirt. Look at that.

Perfect form.

Okay.

We got to get unhorny here for some. Just keeps going.
Are we good? Yeah.

We're going to go with when a girl's really mean to you. Okay.
Okay.

Okay. Like really mean.
Yeah, like really mean.

We had something different, but yeah, we had like being angry at someone else. When a girl's just angry.

Because

I don't like when they're angry at me. Not angry.
Well, angry and mean are

two completely different things. You like a little bullying.
Yeah, a little bullying. Yeah.
Okay.

And last, and nextly, next, not lastly, but nextly. Nextly.
When a girl can go drink for drink. Okay.

So you like an eater who's

like a dude, Max. You have a girl.
That's not true. You have a girl who can eat, drink, like a teenager with a tie that drink with you and bully you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's see if Hank has a problem with this one.

I think we go with, did we not put it on there?

The thing you're wearing right now, Zach?

Glasses? We did not put it on the list. We can take it, though.
Yeah. I think we could take.
Do you have a problem with that?

I don't know what the pick is.

Women wearing glasses.

Can that be a pick or not?

Are glasses

too sexy?

I think glasses can be hot, definitely. Yeah.

But you can pick it.

Is the the pick a visually impaired woman?

Bad eyesight? Okay, well, we got no reaction, so let's go with something else, Zach.

Wait, no, no, no, that means you can pick it. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, that means you can pick it.
Okay. We're not here to question her prescription.
It's just wearing the frames.

Yeah, just wearing frames. So even if she's got great eyesight.
Yeah, just wearing glasses. That's a little stolen valor.

Wearing glasses is very sexy. It's very sexy.
But glasses on themselves are not sexy. Like, nerds wear glasses, but when a girl wears them, it's hot.

Would you agree?

Yeah, I think girls wearing glasses is hot. Okay.

That's our pick.

We have two more? Yeah.

We're going to go cute little tiny fart. Ooh.
Yeah, when she toots just a little bit.

You guys don't like that one? I don't find it sexy, but yeah. If it's a cute farty.
Well, it's unsexy. No, no, no, no.
I'm not saying that it's a bad. I'm not saying you've got to take it off.

I personally don't find that sexy. Well, women fart too.
Yeah, yeah. Well, not really.
When they go...

Okay. It's adorable.

What do you think, PFT?

I like...

I'm going to highlight that part of one of them if you look at the notes app. What about the one above it? I don't even know what that means, but I love it.

That's a little bit, that's a narrow definition. All right, we'll go with getting into a fight at a sporting event.

Okay. Or can we just do getting into a fight? Yeah.
Yeah, getting into a fight. Getting into a fight.

Physical violence. When they display physical violence against another woman, kind of hot.
Yeah, that's a good pick. That's a good pick.

Zach, what do we want to finish with? How do you feel about 25?

I don't know if it's a good pick. I don't know if it's

pretty hot.

I think we should go. I think that's an honorable mention because I think we worked ourselves into a Tizzy with 25.
I think that was. I'm really excited for Tizzy.

There was a moment where we just, we, we whooped ourselves up. Memes has one that's that's insane as well that I really, that I really can't wait for.
I don't think he's that.

I can't wait for people to sit outside. I think four or seven

are both strong, and I don't know if 15 works. I kind of already was picked.

I think four might be hot, hot. You think it's hot, hot? Like, Like, I think that.
Yeah, maybe. Okay.

All right, then. You want to rip seven? Yeah, why don't we go seven? We're going to pick pumping gas.
Pumping gas, yeah. Okay.
Pumping gas. It's hot.

We already took farting. Yeah, pumping gas.
A woman pumping her own gas.

We already took farting. It's funny.

Yeah, we like it. No, that's good.
Yeah. A woman pumping gas.
Fuck, we do. Okay.
Like in an oversized SUV.

It's hot. Filling up like the 30-gallon tank on the Denali.

This might be a situation when Jack or Zach and I are just like. That's one on its own.

Well, yeah, we actually had that. Well, you guys got we had like a small woman getting out of a large UV.
Yeah, no, that's a good, that's honestly a good one. Well, pumping gas in a large SUV.

That's a good, yeah. A giant lifted truck.
Yeah.

Yeah, ours aren't as, we don't, we're not as creative. I was just going to say.

We got open-ended moment. We want to know that.
We want to just go off the wall.

We're going to go with a girl who likes non-stereotypical music. Oh, okay.
Okay. Like

a girl that doesn't just want to listen to Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, and Sabrina Carpenter. Okay.
Okay. I like that.
Okay. She likes a little sky.
I dig that. All right.
Good Mount Rushmore.

I think honorable mentions are going to be even funnier. Yes.
We got some good honorable music. I want to know 25.
I want to know 25. 25 is not.
I think 25 is hot. I think it's hot.

Zach and I, we just started. We basically did a fanfic

talking about it.

We think

it's very sexy for a woman to type really fast.

When the nails are clicking, yeah,

just we're fucking hammering at it on a phone.

No, on a computer or a phone. I see phone more than I see computer.
Just going so fucking fast. It's so hot.
Because that kind of goes into, like, oh, she's yelling at someone. Yeah.

Maybe that's what it is: the anger of it. Do you guys like that? I like it when you're on the phone with a customer service rep and she's and you can hear the tone

fast. So sexy.
That's pretty much phone sex. Yeah.

I really want you guys. Memes is so insane.
I just had a yawn, morning yawn. All right, well, that's not bad.
All right. Morning yawns are hot.

Yeah. Yawning is hot.
Yawning is hot.

Max doesn't get it on in the morning.

Yawning also happens at night. You don't like it.

The one that we thought was maybe it's like too sexy, but it is just because on its own, it's unsexy, but in my head, it's sexy, just nurse scrubs. Yeah, that's just sexy.

Yeah, and probably just sexy. We did the same, we had tattoos, but I think that's too much.
Tramp stamps, I think tramp stamps get a bad. People are like, oh, that's unsexy.
No, it's sexy.

I say, bring back the belly button ring, too. Ooh, I'll go one further.
I like that. What about like calling 10 times in a row if you don't answer? Yeah.
Or like over, like

20 times in a row. It's like the anger thing.
Yeah. The power calls are good.
Yeah. I had getting kicked off a plane.

I think a lot of people would say that's not sexy. I think that's pretty hot.
Yeah.

That's really hot.

I think a lot of people would agree with that. We had some ones that like things they say like when

a girl asks how something works

and you don't answer confidently. Like something that you really don't know that much about.
But she's like, you're a man.

You can explain how an internal combustion engine works. Also, when a girl asks you to open something for him.
Yep, that's good.

Also, when a girl has to get on their tippy toes to reach something,

it's hot.

We had getting lost. If she gets lost a lot,

that's kind of hot. What about if she has one leg and she runs an in-home nursing business? She's from Russia? Yeah, that's hot.
Like, she might not be that hot, but there's something about her.

Something about her.

I think one thing could lead to another here. Yeah.
What about weapons? We wanted to go crossbow.

Something about a crossbow. Okay.
This sounds like a video game character. I don't know.
I think it's just the stretching.

I don't know. The crossbow.
What about when a girl gets kidnapped all the time by like a giant monster with a tortoise shell with spikes on it? And she's like, you got to come save me.

No, but that's not that hot because it's friend zone. But no, but you'll do anything for her.
Yeah, but then

she won't even kiss you.

This one, I think, is just hot, but we're working around it.

So yoga pants, obviously, are just hot. Yep.
But hold on, hear me out. The shorts where the phone pocket is like skin tight when they put the phone in that pocket.
That's hot. Yeah, I agree.

But I think that's... That might be just hot.
That's just, you're just seeing the tight paint. Okay, all right, all right.
Yeah,

I could say I like the tennis dress.

Go ahead. Another one meme said is girls who run.
Yeah, running. Yeah.

The face during it, you know, heavy breathing.

We love chicks on this podcast. We do.
What about dad hats?

I think they're hot. Trucker hats.
Yeah. Not as much trucker hats.
Dad hat.

I like the dad hat look. Zach put in yard work.

Okay.

Mowing the lawn. Definitely passed some like hot moms and a pole saw.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Sucking at cooking.

Sucking at cooking.

But she tries.

These are things that are unsexy that might be. I don't know.

I think

we didn't understand this as well. No, no, no.
That's fine. I think you guys are picking things that are just sexy.

Well, they're just not like genuine.

Like typing fast is not.

That's there's nothing sexy about that, but it is when a girl does it How about when she roots for the Edmonton Oilers? Yeah, it's pretty hot.

I like how you just are picking you like these are I'm waiting for you to like do one with Casey Anthony. These are stereotypes when she has a kid.
Yeah, when she has a kid. Yeah, when she has a kid.

And she worked at Universal Studios. Reading a book.
Yeah. Sexy.
Just being a giant nerd. Yeah.
Being a big dork. I like that.
Zach had waiting in line.

That might just be.

I might have just been horny. Yeah, that's my fault.
Zach also tried to throw out side. Side boob? Is that accent?

That's just

the sexiest thing ever. It's like, you know what's not sexy, but sexy? Cleavage.
Yeah. A breast.

The lines got blurred. We're just talking about stuff that's hot.

Yeah, you just got horny and started thinking about things that made you horny. I was going to say, wearing a purse with the strap that goes in between the boobs.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's about

boob. Putting on a seatbelt.
Seatbelt, seatbelt boob. Yeah, middle strap.
Putting on a seatbelt. The middle strap is seen.
That is is an unsexy thing that becomes sexy.

But it becomes sexy because of boob. Yeah, I know.
I understand why I'm turned on by it. So the point is still clear that it's boob.
Boob is what is making you sexy.

Yeah, the side boob is what led us to breastfeeding. We're like, what if breastfeeding was just the pick? I like how Zach's waiting in line is just like, when I see a woman in front of me.

Yeah. That's fair.
Yeah. No, again, we hand up.
We got horny. We did.

This one was kind of picked, but like wearing your sweatshirt. We had that, but I feel like Hank kind of.
Yeah. Kind of took that.

All right. Any others? Oh, when a girl asks about your parlay? Earnestly?

Sexy.

How's your bet doing? Yeah, that's sexy. What are we rooting for? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, well, how many more points do we need? Yep. That's sexy.

Pink iPhone cases.

Okay, yeah. Pink iPhone.
Sometimes there's like a little razzle-dazzle on there. Yeah, maybe the little, the, the, the holder thing in the back.

The holder thing in the back, or the suction cups, yeah, all over it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Anything else?

How do we feel about next day makeup? Like, you know, that clearly that's from yesterday, but still kind of hot. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

Natural hair. Natural hair.
I can't tell the difference.

Which has got a great shower. Wet hair.
Wet hair. Wet hair.

I think we just love women. Yeah.

God help me. Yeah, we were going to try.
We were talking about maybe doing it the other way where things girls find sexy, and that would have been a disaster. That would have gone all wrong.

Like

when you take 30 minutes in the toilet. I mean,

when a girl likes you. Yeah.
Not necessarily sexy, but definitely sexy. Yeah, that is sexy.
That is sexy.

Okay.

Good stuff, guys. Let's get to our interviews.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very,

very, very special guest.

New album out

on, what, the 12th? Sure. On the 12th.

So you've probably already listened to it, but we have secured Taylor Swift on the show. We're going to fight fire with fire.
So Taylor, thank you for joining us.

My first question to you is, how long have you been Taylor Swift?

Yeah, well, thanks so much for having me. To all the listeners, yes, I promise my name is actually Taylor Swift.

I get jokes all the time, but don't worry, I just shake it off. Oh, that's good.
Wait, so answer the question: how long have you been Taylor Swift?

I've been Taylor Swift for 31 years now. Oh, wow.
That's a long time. That's a really long time to be Taylor Swift.
Sure. So, Taylor,

when you have people that find your name out for the first time, what's their initial reaction? And then do you have something that you say back to them?

Well, I mean, it depends. Sometimes if I'm making like dinner reservations or, you know, reserving event spaces or stuff like that, people get really, really excited.

And then I'm the one that walks into the room, this 6'1 white male that looks nothing like the other Taylor Swift, and it's always disappointment. Yeah, I can see that.

It's like the Michael Jordan commercial. Yeah.
Taylor, what are your thoughts on the

Chiefs' upcoming season?

To be honest, I think it really depends on that offensive line and what happens with Mahomes. I mean, he had a rough outing, but Kelsey's still the man.

They have some great defensive players, but that NFC West is going to be pretty tough.

I mean, obviously the Raiders drafted well, and, you know, Denver has a formidable defense and an incredible, you know, sophomore quarterback.

So it's going to be a tough division, but I think they're still going to make the playoffs and make a deep run. So in the Super Bowl, Taylor Swift got booed.

And so I'm just curious, what was going through your mind, Taylor Swift, at the time?

you know I sometimes I feel like I live vicariously through her

all my life since I can remember I've known her being this like not only just a planet but her entire like she's an entire solar system she is one of the greatest songwriters of our generation and and with that comes complications sometimes people like you sometimes people hate you but as a creative artist I have nothing but respect for her as a person.

But I know sometimes when fans don't like the product or, you know, something's going on in the world that makes it difficult,

it can be really, really hard sometimes to be that person. So

all it's to say, like, I always empathize, but at the same time, she is a

juggernaut. She is one of the most successful songwriters ever, and I have nothing but admiration for that.
Taylor, do you have a favorite Jake Jillenhole movie?

Great question. Honestly, this is going to be weird, but I really like Prisoners with Hugh Jackman,

the movie that came out, I think, like maybe 10 or so years ago. That one is really good.
And then End of Watch,

the cop movie that came out, I think in the mid-2010s as well. Those are two of my favorites.
Okay, those are both great picks. Do you have a favorite podcast that you listen to?

Probably the Ryan Rossillo podcast. Oh, no, I'm just kidding.

I actually don't know.

I fluctuate between Bill Simmons, you know, Ryan, and you all. So it just depends on what I'm looking for.
Right now, I'm starting to do a lot of my fantasy football research.

And so I kind of try to get information from all the sources, but it just depends on the vibe. How are you as a fantasy football manager, Taylor Swift?

You know, it's tough. I'm a league manager in one of my leagues.

The other league, I think I won maybe four or five years ago, but I always start like five and one, six and two, and then all of my players end up getting injured mid-season.

I've done the strategy, which most people have done over the past couple of years of drafting wide receivers early, and that has really come back to bite me at the running back position.

So I really think I'm going to try to take a different strategy this year, this time around. Our team has kind of the opposite.

We've started very slow in the past, and then we get better as the season goes on. Yeah,

would you, Taylor, would you be open to the idea? We're trying to build kind of a dream team for our fantasy football team in terms of managers. We have Jerry O'Connell.
We have Adam Schefter.

Would you be interested at all? It would cost you nothing to

be part of this dream team and potentially co-manage our fantasy football team for us, Taylor Swift.

I am 100% in. That sounds great.
Wow. That's great.
Yeah, we need, we're building a strong front office right now. And I feel like, do you think you could work well with Jerry O'Connell as a manager?

I think so. I think I like to consider myself as like a team player.
And, you know, I want to do the due diligence and make sure that you're getting the right pick at the right value.

That's the most important thing. And so, just making sure there's proper communication channels to make those right picks.
But I love Schefter.

You know, I'm a big fan. So, definitely, definitely would be amenable to join.
Okay, so Taylor, I want to do just a quick rapid fire.

Favorite meal?

Oh, a good seared steak. Nothing beats a steak.
Okay.

Favorite NFL team?

Ooh, I'm in free agency right now, but I'm going to have to say the

Houston Texans because of my boy CJ Stroud. Okay.
Favorite college team?

O-H-I-O, baby. Go, Bucks.
Okay. Okay.

Favorite TV show?

Ooh, all time, probably breaking bad. Nothing beats Brian Cranston.
Okay. Favorite band or music?

Oh, Hendrick Lamar, bar none. Been a day one fan since

before he was cool, 100%. Since the overly dedicated days.
I love that. Do you think that Travis Kelsey is going to propose this year?

You know what? I don't want to put that pressure on him. I feel like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, but I think he landed one of the best people ever.
So I think

he should do it.

But we'll see what happens. He needs to do it the right way.
I think that's the most important thing. He needs to do it his way, the way that he feels.

And yeah, just make sure that he, you know, he can deliver. Yeah.
Okay.

Hank, do you have a question for Taylor Swift? Favorite lens?

Lens? Are you a photographer? Did I hear that wrong? No, no. Different guy.
Fuck. No, no.

If you were a photographer. It's all good.

Favorite lens.

No bad blood here. Don't worry.
Favorite movie.

Oh, I'm going to have to go John Carpenter's The Thing from 1982. Old movie, Kurt Russell, a bunch of guys in Antarctica.
It's a horror thriller. It's very good.
Everybody should check it out.

Would you, Taylor, like to say anything about Ukraine versus Russia?

Probably not right now. Okay.
But

you know,

I don't, you know,

don't think it's my place. Yeah.
No, that's totally fair answer. Totally fair answer.
I think you've done your media training. Yeah,

you really got us down. Taylor, do you have anything that you want to plug?

Not right now other than, you know, I live in Washington, D.C.

I just want to say that, you know, we're going through a lot in this country right now, but don't forget the value of our public service officials, our election security officials, our people that work in local government.

All these people are trying to make everybody's lives better. And people wake up and choose public service and make less money than those in the private sector.

And I think it's really, really important for a country that has good social services, good government services. to have people that want to have those jobs.

And so just want to make a plug for our public service officials. I love that.
I like that. I love what Bill said.
I have one last question for you.

If you were to make a mount rush more of tight ends nfl tight ends all time who would you put on that list

well i mean travis is probably number one

um

probably shannon sharps up there uh all new all new news notwithstanding

um

let's see oh my goodness i'm i'm kind of drawing a blank right now um who was the guy that played for the uh the uh saints um jimmy graham

trying to remember jimmy Graham is definitely up there. And then, oh, man,

he was the Chiefs tight end

before Travis. Tony Gonzalez.
Tony Gonzalez.

See, y'all are asking me all these NFL questions. I'm good at the NFL, but the NBA is really my jam.
Oh, okay. So

let's go your Mount Rushmore of NBA players.

Oh, well, it's LeBron, LeBron, LeBron, and LeBron. Oh, okay.
Oh, this has gone bad, Taylor.

We've turned a bad corner here.

Do you want to take it? Let's do another crack at the tight ends one, though. So I'll just throw a couple more names out there for you.
You got Rob Gronkowski. You've got Antonio Gates.
Oh, sure.

I feel like maybe one of those might push Travis off the list because he's still playing. We don't know what he's going to accomplish by the end of his career.

I still think that, you know, Travis has shown time and time again that he is a winner.

I agree that I think Gronkowski should definitely be up there, especially with all of the rings and all of the touchdowns.

Same with, yeah, I totally agree, but Travis has just shown that he has been either the one A or one B on multiple deep playoff runs.

And again, he's still in his early 30s and still has that appetite to win.

And I mean, oh my gosh, just like, I think that when folks think of change makers in the NFL, like people, he transcends the NFL, which I think is another reason why people belong on the Mount Rushmore.

Like, yes, of course, stats are important. Of course, rings are important, but people will remember Travis Kelsey for you know his stuff on and off the field and and sexiest NFL player.

Good question. Oh, good question.
I don't know. I haven't

thought about this one. Let me think.
Um,

yeah, you're gonna have to come back to me on that one. Let me, let me, let me marinate on that for a minute.
What about NBA player you would like to date if you if that if you were maybe a woman?

Um, let's see. I mean, I feel like all of the female friends over the course of my life have said Kelly Oubre.
I don't really know why, but

honestly, honestly, I'm not 100% sure on that either. I'm trying to think of someone that's like a great hang.
Okay, I'm just going to have to be biased again. My 330216 is going to come out.

I'm going to have to say Donovan Mitchell. He seems like a super charming guy.
He's not overly tall. Like, I'm pretty tall.
I'm 6'1, but he wouldn't like tower, tower over me.

And yeah, he just seems like a great hang and obviously just got, you know, engaged as well. So congratulations to him.
Okay, last question. Hottest guy in Hollywood.

Ooh, do you mean, do you mean like attractive? Yeah. He's like on a generational run like that right now.
Hottest guy in Hollywood. Like, I'll start.
I'm going to say. Go ahead.
Go ahead.

Well, I was going to say gosling, just because I think he, like, not only can he play a character of, a caricature of himself, but he also is like, I think, just very striking, very, very, very guy next door, but he's also a really good actor, which I think is like a hard thing to do.

Yeah, that's a good answer. Brian Gosling, Killer Swift.
All right, so hottest NFL player.

Um,

let me see. Let me see.
Could be anyone. Hmm.
Could be Jameis. No.

Let's say,

I guess I'm just going to have to go back to CJ. I think CJ Stroud is just like,

he's definitely like on the more handsome side, but he also seems like a great hang. For me, like personality really, really is a big thing, and he just seems like a great guy to hang out with.
Okay.

Okay. Great.
Well, Taylor Swift, thank you so much

for joining us. We really appreciate it.
And congrats on all the success. Max, did you have something? Oh, okay.
Yeah.

Congrats on everything. And thanks so much for joining us.

Awesome. Thanks so much for having me.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest ahead of UFC in Chicago. It is Dricus de Plessis.
Did I say it right? No. Okay, Dricus, let me go one more time.
Drickus de

Plessis.

Still no. Pretty close.
That was close. Your guy right now.

It looks like me trying to throw that basketball. Yeah, that that was tough.
Yeah, that was tough. This is tough.
Yeah, I mean,

you're a very confident guy because we just sat down.

We're going to probably air this the week of the fight, but you're about to throw the first pitch at the Cubs game, and I was like, 60 feet, 6 inches. Like, you got to be ready.

You go, it's 60 feet, 4 inches. And I've been watching baseball all my life, and I had to go check, and I was like, is he right or am I right? I was right, but you made me think I was wrong.

And that's what it's all about. Yeah, I don't know how you did that.
Two inches make a big difference, though. Huge difference.
Because you can't bounce it, depending on who you're asking. Yeah.

I'll kill for two inches. Yeah.
All right. So, so then correct me.
Correct me on the exact pronunciation. Dricus duplessis.
Okay. S is silent.
DDP. DDP.
That works. Drique is duplessis.

That's that close. Can you just say the name Drikes Duplessis? Can you say the name Brooks Kepka? Brooks Kepka.
Oh, that's so good. He should be South African.
That works. That works.
All right.

So you're getting ready for your fight. Yeah.

How are we feeling overall? Absolutely incredible. I mean, Cam, we are just over two weeks out.

Well, 10 days out today, actually, and 10, 11 days, yeah. The camp's been incredible.
We've been preparing.

We've known quite a while that this is going to be the next fight, so I've had more than sufficient time to prepare for this fight.

And I can, with 100% honesty, say this is the best camp, the hardest camp, I have to say.

You know, when you're preparing for a guy that wrestles like Hamzad or, you know, a guy with that wrestling and grappling pedigree, you have to understand that in an area like that, it's a physically demanding area.

This wrestling probably being the most physically demanding area in MMA. So it was a hard camp.

It was a long camp, but I knew for a fight like this, fighting the best opponent I've ever faced, I need to be more ready than ever. And that's exactly what we did.
But here I'm sitting right now, and

the past 12 weeks just flew past me.

And I'm so ready to go. This is the biggest fight of the year.
I can't wait.

So how does it look when you have a 12-week camp?

And then the two weeks before what is the training like you're tapering off or what like how is it just like maintaining the level because you obviously don't want to push yourself super hard right before the fight right yeah so that's a it's i guess it's different for for most people but everybody uh understands their body and and you know the coaches i've been working for for the past 10 years you know and my conditioning coach we've been working together for just over two years now a new a new conditioning coach

and we understand my body how it works how long it takes to peek because we go flat speed you you build up in camp and then three weeks out

from the fight is my hardest session that's my hardest session of my whole camp three weeks out and also your biggest risk of getting injured right you know at that time so but it's what needs to be done and then you start taping off but three weeks out like last week i was here about three weeks from the fight

you still go hard you not not not in terms of contact, but in terms of pushing yourself on

cardio-wise, conditioning wise, strength even all of that, you're still pushing very hard. And then from this week, two weeks out, you start taping on that too.

So your sessions are still intense, just shorter. It's shorter duration.
Then next week, of course, much shorter sessions, still with that intensity. This is the area where we peak.

But the biggest problem here is making sure that you are 100% on it when it comes to overtraining because getting in there overtrained is even worse than getting in there undertrained, to be honest.

So how do you simulate a great wrestler like that? Do you have one guy whose job it is to just do everything that Hamza can do?

Or is it, do you have different guys that you bring in to simulate different things? Well, I always explain like this. You have to bring guys in at this level because, I mean...

Finding one guy that can do exactly what Hamza does, you would be in the UFC right now fighting for a world type. Right, yeah, exactly.
You're not going to find one guy.

Just the same as you're not going to find a guy to assimilate me i don't think somebody in the world fights like me but once you have a couple of guys one guy just takes care of this one area one guy takes care of this one area or even in that specific area you can even break it down more which is something that i would i did get a guy that's great at a double leg get a guy that's great at a single leg get a guy that's great uh on top great on bottom

you know find a guy to break down his game because there is somebody better than him on top there's a lot of guys better than him on top there's a lot of guys better than him in the bottom a lot of of guys better with double legs, a lot of guys better with single legs.

But one guy can put it all together, that's him.

Those guys would be fighting for a world title if they were able to do that. So you have to split that up, especially at this level, and get guys from.

I mean, even in boxing, when I prepared for strict, you get a guy with just a good jab. Then you get a, because a normal boxer is not going to fight that filly shell.

So it doesn't help that I've trained with that boxer because it's not going to simulate.

So the same with this fight is getting guys that are good at individual things that collectively creates a Hamza. So Mike Tyson famously said, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.

Have you ever experienced that in a fight where you've gone into a fight with what you thought was a great plan, and then once it starts, you just revert back to like, I'm just going to beat the fuck out of this guy mode.

Yeah, more times than I would like to admit.

Because, and it's not about the one punch. You know, when I'm in there, I take one punch and I don't really feel it.
I don't care.

I would actually deny that I got hit really hard up until I watched the fight again. I'm like, okay, that was.
Because you are so focused, you take the punch, you just keep on going.

But I've definitely a lot of times went to the corner and said, coach, you know that game plan we've been training for the last 12 weeks? Yeah.

Not working. Tasking out.

Yeah. What are we doing now? We have one minute.
We have to make a game plan right now. And that's that a lot of times because one guy's game plan is not working in a fight always.

There's one guy winning, one guy losing.

The guy that's losing this game plan is probably not working because you have this idea of what the guy's going to do and he has the idea what you're going to do and it's about who implements at this level everybody's strong fit everybody is good

uh on a physical level everybody is this this mod it's marginal um differences but when it comes to the game plan that's where the fight's won and lost so but a lot of times you get into that corner and you're like coach

uh this sucks but whatever we planned was a terrible idea yeah on the flip side everyone planning for you because you have kind of an unorthodox like striking style that that gets guys off their game.

Do you know when you're in a fight, you're like, this guy can't figure me out? He doesn't know where it's coming from. I've got him in this way.
I don't think that

is

what people think.

They're like, guys can't figure this guy out. It's not.
While I'm busy there,

I'm figuring you out.

And it's about, it looks awkward, and it is. And it's the way we.

Because that's the way when I started the sport 12 years ago as a professional, 13 years ago, actually,

we realized what we think before we made it, that this is the more superior style, do it this way, taking bits and pieces of everyone.

And,

you know, once I figure things out, it looks like I'm in there. It is chaotic.
It looks like I'm just going falling over my feet, which a lot of times does happen.

And, but

it's... me figuring out what this guy's doing, how he's reacting to what I'm doing.
And it's chaos in there, but it's, to me, it's educated chaos. I know exactly what I'm doing, why I'm doing it.

And yeah, I lose my balance sometimes. Yeah, but it does kind of mess people up because it's not something they can, you could, like you talk about training on the ground.

Like, Hamzat's got to train for what you're doing, and how do you replicate that? Yeah, and I think, you know, that's a, in all sports, right? I think you see that with

any sports. If you take baseball, if you take the NBA, any sport, you know, I'm a big sport fan, don't know too much about American sports, but

it's always one team or someone figures something out, and the rest of the world needs to play catch-up right now until they figure it out. And then it's almost a change of gods.

Like for four years, they have just the best. They just win championship after championship until people figure out what it is that makes them different.
And

that's what I feel, what my style happened. It was only criticized.
It was only like, this guy's ridiculous. He won two in a row.
How's this guy even in the UFC? How did he beat this guy?

He got so lucky.

His style is ridiculous. Once he gets to the top 15, you'll get exposed, then top 10, then top 5, fighting with a becoming champion, defending it twice.

And now people are going, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's look into this.
And I said this from the beginning. I think you guys are only

criticizing my style where you should be taking notes. Instead, I understand there is a lot of criticism and

deservingly so.

I think I'm a six out of ten. There's a lot of work still to be done for me to get to the fight I want to be and get in there and be perfect.
But there's some things I do that are great.

That's why I'm the world champion. And people

were too late. And now people are starting to say, okay, maybe we should look at this.
Maybe we should, this is not just him

going crazy. This is actually an educated scramble or an educated combination, even though it looks different to what we're used to.
And now they're playing catch-up.

Have you seen any guys in particular that have adopted things that you do? I think

when one of my teammates and I,

well, actually, our team manager, we spoke about it. And the sport started off with just brawlers, right? Just guys getting in there.
It looked like one big bar brawl.

But it wasn't an educated bar brawl. No, it's just Tank Abbott just

throwing for two minutes at a time and getting as tight as you can and seeing who lost. Then it became more technical up until a time where it was the technique was the only thing.

You know, there were guys with great wrestling technique just

killed everyone.

And, well, there was first the grapplers, then the strikers, then the wrestlers. And the same thing, like I said, then the wrestlers take over, then the strikers start taking over.

And then the grapplers take over for a while again.

Where the sport right now is almost a sport on its own. It's not the grappler or it's the most complete martial artist.

Because

we saw that with a guy like Bo Nico, for example, now

great wrestler. Incredible wrestler.
He's, I mean, one of the best to ever do it. But it's not the same as MMA wrestling.
The distance is different. The punches is different.
The stance is different.

The levels are different once you bring in those variables. And I think that's where the sport is right now.

It's almost going right back to from the super technical to the guy that can take the most and give the most. Right.
Now you're finding a guy, everybody can defend a takedown.

Everybody can shoot a takedown.

And then it comes to the point where you are a technical striker or you are a striker. I can strike.
Who can give the most and you can take the most?

If you look at a guy like Adesanya, I mean, on a technical level, he's a much better striker than me.

But I did

beat him on the feet. Yeah.
I dropped him twice. So I dropped him at the end and got the choke because it's not about that technique anymore.
It's not a kick.

If that was a kickboxing fight, he would have probably kicked my ass, but it's not. It's an MMA fight.

Gloves are different, distance is different. There's a lot more things to worry about when it comes to takedowns, setting it up.
And I think that's where the sport is.

It's going all the way back to who's the guy that can stand, bang, and

take the most and give the hardest shots. What's your favorite way to win a fight? So you've won a fight knockout,

guillotined, rear-naked choke, two face cranks. What's your favorite?

That's hard. I have to say, the feeling to me is all the same when that ref, because I've never had a walk-off KO and I don't plan on having one ever because it's just not the way I do it.

Once that guy hits the deck, I go for the kill. Right.
Right up until the ref pulls me off, I don't see anything other than killing this person in front of me. And whenever the ref says stop,

that's the best feeling. Whether it be by a choke, whether it be by even at the end of a five-round decision, when the ref says stop, you're pretty happy about that.

Yeah, it's a long time to be in there. Yeah, so it's crazy hell long.
Yeah, I mean, for me,

well, I can answer you this way: I don't have a favorite method of winning, just winning. But

to me, losing, I always see guys, they're almost scared to get caught, especially going into a final round.

And they hesitate, and they, even though they know they're two rounds or four rounds down, they have to finish to win this fight. And just because they're fighting a guy, they're scared.

They're scared to get knocked out or choked out so they don't take the risk.

To me, if I think about losing, losing on a decision, losing by knockout or by submission, it makes absolutely no difference.

A loss is a loss so yeah whenever you're in doubt just go for it yeah my personal favorite style of knockout is the the body shot just people getting body shot into death that is a very good one i i

in my pro career in my amateur career i have few but as a as a as a professional i've never had that but not a body gig is one thing because you can see the guy almost going and then you can go for it but getting a body shot a clean body like a jose older versus jeremy stevens just a clean liver shot and seeing a guy go down take that Yeah, like five seconds later, they step back and then they'll get it.

And they take the punch and you're like, I got it. I can handle it.
And then you just can't.

Do you talk to guys? Do you talk in their ear when you're about to submit them? Like when you're about to choke them out? No, I wish I could.

I wish I could. I've seen a lot of guys do that.
And even in a fight, I've never said a word during a fight in my whole life.

I don't have the attention span for that, I guess. I'm too focused on that fight.
I've never been able to even

get one word out.

even if a guy was a lot of guys have spoken to me while we fight like you know giving you or something like that i've said sorry like when i uh accidental groin kick or something like that i'll be like sorry and then we go but in the middle of the fight i don't have that

where uh wherewithal to be able to talk and focus on fighting yeah but you are a great trash talker where would you rank yourself in trash talking at the ufc right now well

i mean Right now, as a sector fighter, well, I mean, if we go on a cry record, I'm probably the best. Uh-huh.

How many cries have you gotten? Have you solicited? Well, two out of the last three. Okay.
That's not bad. Yeah, that's pretty good.
That's good numbers. Yeah, I can go with that.

What's the key to your trash talking?

People are sensitive, man.

I think that's the key. Has anyone gotten you really good where you're like, damn, that hurt? No, you can't.
It's impossible where I'm from.

You know, in South Africa, banter is the only way you and your friends spend time. There's never a time where we do not banter.
You should work here. That's all we do.

And I mean, I think that's the thing. Like, all these things that I've said is something, I've said way worse things to my friends.
And they, to me, and I have two older brothers.

If you have to be around, you would think, wow, okay, this is rough.

And these things that trigger these people, I was like, you know, you find something personal in our friend group, something that really is going to, it doesn't help you to say the everyday stuff.

That's not not gonna hurt one of my friends or my brothers you have to find something personal yeah and and say it and yeah people are sensitive

do you like compile folders on people like here's what i here's how you can go after him in his personal life here's how you can go after him on his looks here's his last girlfriend well on the looks side it's pretty evident

to to go after someone it's not that hard yeah they're sitting there and you can see so but in the rest of it for me i don't people always say how do you do you go prepare for it you can't prepare for something like this because you don't know what they're going to say.

And I always try to match my opponent's energy. If you go look at any of my

of the trash talk or banter, a guy like me and Whitaker, for example, there was no bad blood. And I'm not never ever going to make fake beef to sell a fight.
I don't, I don't, I think it's cringy.

I hate it. I don't like it.
But even with me and Strichton in the first fight, it was a pretty chilled.

There was a few, I'm going to beat you, I'm going to beat you. You're good at this.

I'm good at that, but nothing serious up until, you know, with a guy like Strickland, he was like, okay, this is not the way I do things. He gets the crowd riled up because he says the craziest stuff.

And I like Sharon Strichton, by the way. He's a cool guy.
He just says outrageous things. And at that press conference, he didn't get that reaction because he wasn't being outrageous enough.
And then

he said something.

He leveled it up with, I'm going to say your coach is going to finish you off in the back. And I said, okay, I can match that.
If you want to go there, let's go. And obviously, I won that exchange.

And that's how I do it.

If you

keep it respectful, I will always keep it respectful. If you kind of come at me at, let's say, here, I'm going to match you right there.
If you're going to open up, I'm going to go for it. Yeah.

And there's nothing I will not say. Yeah.

There's nothing that.

Have you ever crossed that line? There is no line. Oh.
It's war. It's war.
It's, I mean, isn't the line killing someone? I'm willing to kill that person. I have no problem doing that.

That's a good point. There is no line for that.
You wouldn't feel bad if you... There's nothing that you choke somebody out in the ring and

maybe the ref was too late getting over to you. God forbid, but if the ref doesn't stop it, I'm not stopping.
Yeah. And if it did happen, we signed the forms.
We know what we were risking. Yeah.

What does it feel like walking into any room being like, I could beat the fuck out of anyone?

Because you were just shooting a basketball in our court and it was some of the worst basketball shooting athletic display i've ever seen and i had to sit there and not talk because i was like he can just beat us all up in one second you see that is that's the that's that's a good side of it because i can suck and nobody's waiting yeah no because you really suck yeah it was bad yeah yeah but that's it that's the thing when you walk into a room and you can beat everybody there it's like People can I always say, speak behind my back, I don't care, but if you sit in front of me, I will beat the shit out of you.

So that's how it feels. Yeah, that's how

that's got to feel good. Yeah, If me, Big Cat, and we got Max in the booth right there, if the three of us attack you right now, how quickly would you knock us out?

Hey, Max is a big boy. Yeah, I don't care about size.
Okay.

I would say probably like if all three of you

before the fight's over.

Yeah. Yeah.
Like before.

So

at once, I would say probably

give me two and a half minutes. Oh, that's pretty long.
I lasted way longer. That's the longest I've ever lasted.
I thought you were going to say 10 seconds. Yeah, no.
Holy shit.

We kind of just kick your ass. Yeah, but we actually beat it.
Because if you think about it on a realistic term, if you come at me, I'm definitely knocking you out. I don't think so.

You won't know. Don't worry.
Okay. You'll know that when you wake up in hospital, you'll know.
I can just go for your legs. And yeah, probably.

Takedown. Ever heard of it? And then it's a street file.
I can stomp you. Yeah, so we can stomp you too.
You can stomp you. I bite your balls.
And I will bite your balls. No, you can't do that.

I already said I I bite your balls. You guys are both

90 now?

That's fine. Okay, fine.
Yeah. All right, punching.
Just

like that, I'm punching.

And then, I mean, because two of you are going to grab me, and then I'm going to have to throw one, throw another one,

beat this one, beat this one. Yeah, two and a half minutes to

the end of it.

I would be so pumped with two and a half minutes. Yeah.
What about your nose? How's your nose doing? It's amazing. Yeah.
Okay, so my theory was I would attack your nose.

No, that's a terrible idea because I'm so used to not having a nose, so I'm going to be much better better than other people. So, explain that to people: you got a nose job for cosmetic reasons, yes.

Uh, not actually for cosmetic reasons, it was for because you couldn't breathe. You did, you did the actual thing that, like, when girls say, Oh, I couldn't breathe, right?

I have sleep, yeah, like, no, you just wanted a nose job, which is fine, but you, you, there was a stat I saw that you were getting nine percent of your oxygen before, and now you're getting a hundred percent.

How do you know? Yeah, the oxygen is not that was a that was a typo or uh miscommunication was the airflow intake in this whole nostril was done.

There was this one actually that completely it was just shut. So you just couldn't breathe out of your nose? No, there's no way that's why I would always breathe.

And if you think about just breathing through your mouth the whole time, that's hyperventilating. Yeah.
And that would happen to me in every single fight. It would go great.

Conditioning wise, it was just we are on the next level. As soon as the pace gets in, you start hyperventilating.

And that's why it didn't only look like I was struggling and I was struggling because it's just the

you know the buildup in your blood. It's you are, you are gassing because you are only breathing even between rounds, you can't breathe through your nose.
Yeah.

So after that, I mean, I really hoped when I got this up, because you can't think that something like that would change that much, but that's what the experts told me what was wrong.

And I thought, okay,

well, if this doesn't work, I'm going to look like such an idiot. Because I really banged on that and it worked.
It worked. I mean, it was, it was.
Did you tell right away?

Yeah, I mean, the first fight after that was Robert Whitaker fight after the nose job.

She was called that. Yeah.
And then I went five rounds with Strickland.

And

then I went the four rounds with Adesania, five rounds again.

And

yeah, it was evident. Now, I was getting so much shit for my cardio, so much shit.
And then all of a sudden, people are like, Drake's cardio is amazing.

They were like, Drake is gassing just from typing this message. And now it's like people are Drake's has the best cardio in the whole UFC.

It's amazing. But I mean, that's the game.
So, you were playing basically on hard mode, like you were, and you were a very accomplished fighter.

You know, what was your record, then 19 and 2 or something,

somewhere around there? Like, that's pretty insane that you were able to do that, just not being able to breathe. Yeah, I would say

my nose got pretty busted up badly around 2018. I would say about two years before the UFC, and all the fights after between that and my UFC, up until Bayad Tavares,

which was my third fight in 21, I think 20. 22.
22, yeah.

Was first and second round finishes.

So

that was the first time I realized the problem. Yeah.
Because up until then, from 2018, was all first rounds, first rounds. And then...

or early second and then with Brad it went the distance and I was like ah this is obviously you're fighting top 15 guys

Then fighting Darren Till, it went to the third round. Fighting Derek Brunson, it went to the second, which was a ridiculous pace, first round and second.

And that's after, I was actually after Darren Till fight saying, okay, I'm doing this. And then they phoned me and saying, you're fighting again in 12 weeks.

And I was like three weeks after the Till fight. I said, okay.

After that fight. And I'm very happy I made that decision because...
That was before the fight with Whitaker. Yeah.

So when you got the nose fixed, did you have them shape it back to the original shape of your nose? Or were you like, hey, I want to, I'd like to get a new nose too?

Well, I have to say, my nose has never been, really been like. It's big.
It's not like it's bigger than it.

It's a normal size nose. Yeah,

it used to be a lot thinner, but I mean, no, they're only the inside, not the outside. So when you're doing cardio, getting up to these last couple of weeks of camp, how much are you actually running?

Like, what is the maximum you will push yourself to? What do you mean, maximum I will push myself? Heart rate-wise? Distance, speed.

No, I mean, for me, running, you know, especially with knees and stuff, with the sport we do, I know a lot of guys believe in running, but no, I understand in boxing you use a lot of running because you don't have to shoot double legs on your knees, you don't get kicked in the knees.

I'm not a big fan, especially with the bigger guys. I think the smaller guys, a lot of running, it's not good for your knees.
So, I do running, I would prefer doing the salt bike instead of running.

I do run at least once or twice a week, but at this stage, it's if I'm doing long long distance, it's at a very slow pace. Just as a I would do an hour of running.
That's that's more of it.

It's an hour of running, which is not about the pace I'm putting on. It's about getting your heart rate to, let's say, 140 and staying, keeping it there.
That's the, for that zone of training.

And then, of course, we would do conditioning sessions where you try to push your heart rate as hard as you possibly can for 30 minutes at a time. Yeah.
So if you had to choose,

if you had a magic wand and you could be a professional rugby player or ufc champion which one would you take yeah i mean i made that decision because you know that was the two choices for me that's the the two passions the two sports that i that i pursued was rugby and and mma and

uh i chose mma and the to possibly become a ufc champion and i have not regretted that decision a moment in my life yeah it's the If I've chosen rugby, if you look at the Springboks, the South African rugby team, I know rugby is not massive in America, but the Springboks are the best rugby team in the world by a long shot.

And I honestly don't believe that I would have been a great rug. I would have been able to be one of the great rugby players or be an.

I don't even think I'm maybe, but I highly doubt it. If you look at the boys, they are big and they are the best in the world for a reason.
I don't see a spot for myself in the Springbok squad. Yeah.

I do see myself as the world champion and the greatest ever dude in mixed martial arts. We had the beast on the show.

He's an awesome guy. He is amazing.
Love that guy.

And so the World Cup, are you gonna go to the one in australia uh the world cup yeah i will not never miss a rugby world cup in my life again yeah i mean this last one was pretty good for you to watch yeah it was amazing yeah yeah well i mean if you're in the spring box it every rugby game is good to watch yeah what uh how awesome is it after you win a fight like the next couple weeks you get to just eat whatever you want man is it the best i always daydream about that not like the like daydream about winning in the octagon i dream about daydreaming about like being able to eat whatever you want after yeah it's uh they always say in between rounds go to the go to the happy place go to your happy place when you're sitting in between rounds yeah you you know almost getting back to your center and I can tell you my happy place is then

and I always I felt this even way before

the UFC I was maybe 21 years old 20

and

my

mental coach said, okay, think about the happy, your happy place to go to in between rounds to

calm yourself. And that is the next morning.
And it is to this day. I can't wait for that to waking up sore, you're like, ah,

but you just smile and you feel, I did it.

Don't have a worry in the world. It doesn't matter what's going on.
Yeah. Walking down from the hotel, seeing that buffet breakfast, grabbing a beer instead.

And, you know, grabbing maybe 10 beers, then starting the into that buffet.

You know, for the next couple of weeks, the world's your your oyster. Oh, that's awesome.

That is it. Yeah.
Just going, you know what? I'm going to drink a beer. Yeah.
You know what? I'm going to eat all those pancakes. I don't care.

That is the happy place. That's the goal.
And by the time those couple weeks are over, are you ready to get out of your happy place? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, for me,

I get to that position, but because with me, like, I don't...

My whole life, since I was 15, 16 years old, I've been training martial arts since I was five, but that has been my mindset: becoming UFC champion, becoming UFC champion. I do this every day.

This is my full-time job.

What else am I going to do? Even when I'm in that happy place,

I'll do that and I'll go train the next day. I do one at least a session every single day when I'm in the middle of that

first, what, say, four weeks. I'm training every day.
It's not, I just can't,

even when we go away on holiday, I would go for a two-hour run. I would, you know, I would find a tree to climb onto something because that's what I do every day.

It's my that is why I believe I am where I am. It's true doing this every day for the past 13 years.
So you started training when you were a little kid. Have you ever been bad at fighting?

Was there a part of your life where you're getting your ass kicked?

Only at home.

Two older brothers. Older brothers, because they were good at it too.
You know, my middle brother, I'm the youngest, and I have one brother four years older, one seven.

Both national champions, multiple national champions in judo.

My middle brother is a lawyer now, and also

he manages everything for me. You know, he's the smartest one in the family.
My middle brother, and he also has a professional record of four and two.

But for him, I was already fighting for my first professional title. He was a four years running judo champion.

He was like, oh, I'll try this. And just went like 3-0 as a pro, lost his first fight, won again.

But for him, it was, he was being a lawyer while he did this. He was just having fun with it.
My oldest brother is a, you know, he played, both my brothers played very competitively for Augb 2.

My oldest brother is the one that taught me my first punches and kicks, you know, in the garage. He was my first couple of amateur fights.
I don't have a coach.

My older brother was the one who showed me everything.

But it was more, you know, he was a bar brawler. Yeah.
And to this day, there's a lot of people, especially from his age group, they go, Do you think you can beat your older brother?

But now I'm like, Of course, I can.

What a question,

but they're like, I got kicked,

yeah, I'm the best in the world. But back in the day, he could bang.
Oh, imagine if you were the best in the world and then you still went home and your brother could beat you up. Yeah, that would be

like, I don't want to be the best in the world, I just want to be able to beat you up. Yeah, he's like, I don't want to do this, it's too much trouble, but I'm going to beat you up.

Yeah, would other parents not want their kids to fight you?

It wasn't up to them,

but uh, when I was uh,

yeah, I think when I started fighting kickboxing amateur

at 14, the age of 14, I became WAK WACKA World Champion, amateur world champion at 18.

By that time in South Africa, the sport's not that big. So I was the first junior champion from South Africa, a WACA world champion ever in K1 kickboxing.
And,

you know, so now you can think about it.

I just did that, came back, still had some amateur fights.

So now, and I was a junior. So, I mean, I'm fighting kids my age, 16 to 18 years old.

And I'm a world champion. And, you know, a lot of fights, when there's no kids to fight me, I would just fight in the seniors and beat them too.

So that was, I think, for,

it was good for me and I think good for... the people under 18 years old.
Yeah.

You know, moving into that, into that bracket of not fighting high school kids anymore because there was a you know i was actually a professional um fighter mma fighter i was four and oh or something in that line maybe five and one ish and there was a grappling tournament a big one it was the national championships and they and i was 19

so they went no

you are fighting with the juniors It's 21 and under. It's 18 to 21 is the one group.

And I went, are you crazy? I'm a professional fighter. Right.
And I'm fighting high school kids or somebody. And they were like, no, if you get hurt, it's on us.

And that was the dumbest thing ever because I went there and it was. You just killed everyone.
Just killed everyone with that. And they went, okay.

I think

the first guy I had to fight was like, he just asked me for an autograph just

before the fight. And then he was like, I'm fighting this guy.
And they just went, he's like, no. I mean, the fight's over before it starts.
Yeah,

he was just like, I'm not going to fight you. He just withdrew from the competition.
He's like, I'm not going to grapple this guy.

um and then they put me in the next uh category so you know for for for me that's

fighting has been the one thing that was the opposite of throwing that hoop i i've just been throwing that hoop yeah i've just been uh

good at it it's it's something and it's not that i was good you know especially when it comes to striking and and all of that when it comes to grappling and wrestling i have a natural feel always been good at it with the striking and stuff it is i'm not the most crisp and and you know it's pretty evident but

I'm like a sponge when it comes to it. I love nothing in this world more.
And it's been like that since the first time I wanted to do this, since I was 15.

Sometimes with your striking, your leg kicks are so unorthodox that sometimes people don't know where it's coming from. Yeah.
You can catch them by surprise. Your shin goes in like a different angle.

It looks like you don't know what you're doing. Then you think that it's going to come from.
Well, I mean,

if I'm not really sure what I'm going to do next, you are definitely not going to know. Yeah, that's true.
That's a great point.

They can't read you. Yeah.
No one knows what's.

uh all right so ufc 319 uh saturday august 16th 2025 in uh chicago we're gonna be there uh we'll we'll we'll be cheering for you i actually looked it up you did win uh i think it was the whitaker fight i bet on you because i have a tweet just saying your name so you've won me money before i appreciate that that is great i'm very happy to hear that yeah uh so ufc 319 uh at the united center do you have a prediction for what you're gonna do homsat

win that i can tell you get around you know maybe a face crank maybe a face crank. You know, it's uh, in the fight game, it's just so hard.

You know, I don't always see people always the safest routes probably gonna go with TKO because you have one of

them. Yeah.

You know, it's because I'm never gonna stop. If I drop you, I'm not gonna stop.
I'm gonna go for it. So that's gonna immediately be a TKO anyway.
Yeah.

So, but

as the fight goes longer, I'm definitely getting stronger. And,

you know, everybody goes, Tricky has to get through the first round, maybe the first two rounds, and then he can

get through the rounds. What do you mean?

I want to get that guy out of there in the first round. He needs to get through the first and second round.
I don't need to get through anything.

I'm going to go in there and try to finish that fight from the first, second to the last. And that's how I fight.
I always have and I always will. Yeah.

Do we have a question from Hank, our MMA expert? I think we're there. He's our UFC expert.
How are you going? How you doing? Oh, that's good.

Good start. Fights in Chicago.
Do you care at all where you fight, like Vegas, Chicago, New York, or are you just anytime, any place, anywhere?

Yeah, I mean, for me, it almost became, you know, people saying, oh, why are they making you fight there?

And I remember a lot of guys, even like Sean Strickland, he was so angry that he had to go to Australia to fight me.

Or even when he had to go to Canada to fight. And I know Joe

Fiverr, that's how you say his name, right? Yeah. He said he's never traveling to Mexico or traveling again to fight.

I went, well, must be nice because

every time I go,

Africa is in the middle, but it's far away from everything.

Every time I go and fight, there has to be some relevance. I fight in foreign country.
I almost fight in enemy territory.

And I've grown quite fond of that.

Earlier in my career, I was always the favorite, you know, crowd favorite. In the EFC, I was champion there in South Africa.
International guys came in. I fought them in my home country.

It was amazing. And then every fight in my UFC career, the last, what, five years, have been away from home.
It's enemy territory the whole time. And fighting crowd favorites.
Yeah.

Fighting Darren Till, Robert Whitaker, even though they're not from America, everybody loves them. Now, Robert Whitaker, who doesn't love Robert Whitaker, is one of the coolest guys in the world.

We're going to be heavy DDP on Saturday. Yeah, and...
You're afraid of a plane ride.

Yeah,

that could be a problem. So for me right now,

I almost feel like

flying, conquering the land. And, you know, I feel like a Viking.
Oh, we need a map. Yeah, where's

where you've gone?

Now I also get to see the world doing what i love and now i've i've really grown fond of you know traveling to different places yeah and being able to fight there it's like fighting chicago this is the first time i've been in chicago and it's been amazing so yeah i mean it's uh it's uh it's one of the perks of of of the job i guess you know not going to the same place every time because i've fought in vegas i think five times you kind of get like yeah yeah it's cool you get to

go travel but now i get to see chicago and yeah you know i went to Sydney and I went to Perth and you see all these places.

I went to Abu Dhabi to fight. So you get to see the whole world while doing what you do.
That's very cool.

I got one last dumb question for you. A lot of people were talking about what would happen in a hypothetical fight, 100 people versus one silverback gorilla.

I don't know if you saw the discourse regarding that.

How many of you would it take to beat one gorilla? Well, 100 of me will kill that gorilla. Right.
Yeah, I agree. But

we would need at least 10. Okay, 10 of you.
We would need at least 10. Yeah.
Go after each limb. Gorillas don't fuck around.
They don't fuck around. Yeah.
You need one to be.

One guy is going to have to sacrifice it, man. Yeah.
You need one guy to sacrifice maybe two.

Then you need one to be able to grab the back.

Yeah. You would submit it.
Oh. Would that be your plan? Yeah.
Gorillas don't tap. They don't.
But they die. Yeah, but they don't tap.
I don't care if they tap. I don't guess.
They're not pussies.

I will just keep on choking until it dies. Okay.
That's fair.

Because I said i think you could take somewhere between five and ten ufc fighters yeah and they could be five or ten and i mean while you're on the back choking you get two others jumping on the legs yeah one maybe kicking right at the nuts yeah that's not a bad idea just one just straight while you're choking it yeah just punching it

that's what we do to you and here yeah yeah and you think that we can't take you yeah yeah but uh that was crazy when we were 69ing for a second that was that was and uh yes mistakes were made all right i got one last question I am never

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You did kiss your coaches on the lips. I do kiss my coach.
Oh, so that was my question. Was that like we didn't just plan the right side? Or that's just what you do? You kiss your coach on the lips.

Yeah, not coaches, but my coach. Yeah.
Okay, your coach. Always on the lips.

Yeah. Well, not like

the whole time.

Yeah, yeah. But I mean, well, how many were we talking? Like, once a week?

Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, probably like once a week. After English? Like a good training session?

Maybe like we

if I when I'm saying once a week, it's it's it's more of a when something like you win a fight. Yeah.
I would kiss my brother every single day when I see him. That's how we say hello.

I would kiss my father every day. On the lips? Yeah.

So my brother, my father,

my fiancé.

Yeah, that's good. Do you ever slip tongue? Which is on her, yes.
No, but on your brother or

no. Oh, you had to pause.

Bro, bullying is real.

And

so, you know, my coach has been the only coach I've ever had in the sport. And, you know, my coach is my family.
Yeah, you love them. Yeah.
Yeah, I love my coach.

I mean, we've been together for this whole journey. We started from my very first, before I was a professional, all the way.
So, you know, he's part of my family. That's awesome.
So that's how it is.

And, you know, I know I get a lot of shit for you. I don't, I couldn't care less.
I'm a world champion. Do you think I care? Yeah, listen.

It goes back to the basketball thing. Like,

I would love to talk shit about you just kissing a bunch of men on your, on the lips, but then you would beat my ass. And then it's like, I got my ass kicked by the guy who kissed me.

And his brother say it on social media. I couldn't care less.

I enjoyed it because it's funny. Panter.
I love it. Yeah.
I love it. It's funny.
So for me, you know, it's banter, 100%.

I couldn't care less because that's the thing. I can go, well, not me, but you can give any world champion shit.
And it's, yeah, I'm still a world champion. Yeah.
You have that forever. Yeah.

But it's also kind of nice to be behind a keyboard and to be able to talk shit to our world. That's it.
That's it.

That's the same guy that's probably going to see you and be like, oh, my God. Let's get a bunch of people.
Oh, 100%.

Yeah, 100%. Me and Big Cat kiss on the lips every year.
Our birthday. We share our birthday.
Okay, so that's once a year. So we podcast together.
Yeah.

Well, I mean, that's a very healthy.

Yeah. That's.
Exactly.

All right. Well, Drinkus, this is awesome.
We really, really appreciate you coming by. We're going to be rooting for you on Saturday.
We'll be there. Maybe we'll.
I'll take off my shirt if you win.

All right. All right.
Maybe

go Drinkers. There's going to be a lot of guys ahead of you on that one.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Yeah, there's quite a few South Africans coming in, and they probably might rock up without shits. I don't know.
I love that.

Well, all right, maybe I'll be the grossest guy with this shirt. I can do that for you.
All right. Thank you so much for having me.
It was awesome.

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Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.
And now here's Dana White.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, recurring guest,

very, very special guest. It is Dana White,

head of everything UFC. We have UFC 319 coming to Chicago on Saturday night.
We will be there. We're very excited.

Dana, first of all, congratulations. The big new deal with Paramount Plus and CBS, $7.7 billion.
My first question question is a dumb question. How much of that do you get?

Well, you know,

I own stock in TKO. So, you know,

I get a salary and I got some stock. Let me just put it to you this way.
It doesn't suck. Okay, yeah.
Okay. Does anything about your life change after this deal? No, nothing.
Okay.

Are you going to treat yourself to anything? No.

I will have fries with that. Yeah.
I literally don't need anything. I have everything I need.
I'm good. What happens when you get a deal like this done is, you know, now it's time to go to work.

It's just every day, no matter what you've done last year, whatever you did yesterday, you're still proving yourself and you still have to get out there and kick ass every day.

So now we have to get together with the powers that be on their side and figure out the scheduling and what we're going to do and how it's going to be different, how we can do, you know, big events.

And just every day when you get up, it's a grind and you continue to prove yourself every year. You know, every year, when you end a year, you look at how do we beat last year? Right, right.

And when you do that for 25 years,

you know,

yeah, it's pretty good.

It's pretty good. All right.
So when you announced the deal,

everyone was like, oh, yeah, pay-per-view's dead. This is incredible.
New model.

At what point during the day on Monday when the announcements were going out were you like, oh, fuck, I still have five more pay-per-views this calendar year that I got to sell?

Pay-per-view isn't dead. I mean, I'm going to do a pay-per-view this Saturday.
Yeah.

And when we were doing this deal, you know, even with the streaming services that we were talking to, all the different ones, you know, some of them still had pay-per-view options.

So pay-per-view is not dead. That's not true.

This isn't going to be a pay-per-view deal. So it's incredible for the fans.
Yeah. I mean, I saw this thing, somebody posted yesterday, you know,

during the era that we're in now, it was like

$1,100 to be a UFC fan to watch everything.

Now it's like 150 bucks or 115 bucks or something to be a UFC fan. Yeah, there's going to be no more pay-per-views on this deal until this deal expires.
Right. That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.

I think that people should probably enjoy that as a fan. It's very fan-friendly.

Are you going to miss having to go out there and sell fights, though? No, so this is how this really works when you think about it.

You know, for the last several years, people have been talking about, oh, your competitors, your competitors. My competitors are the NFL,

the NBA, whatever movie comes out on Saturday. Anything that takes people's attention away on a Saturday night is my competitor.

So I still have to go out and convince you to stay home on Saturday night and watch these fights. Yeah.
Yeah.

What does it mean for the fighters? Are they going to get, because a lot of the fighters, obviously, big fighters, they would get a cut of the pay-per-view.

Now, if there's less pay-per-views, is it like the base goes up? How does that work? Yeah.

Listen, when you do a deal like this, it's obviously, we're talking about how good it is for the fans. It's obviously good for the company, but it's incredible for the fighters.

And, you know, we always had a model where you eat what you kill type thing

with the pay-per-views.

Mathematically, you just figure that out. It's going to be incredible.
Since 2001, the day we bought this company, fighter pay has gone up. Every new deal that we've done, fighter pay has gone up.

And obviously, fighter pay will go up for this deal. It's, it's, it's a really not just

financially for the fighters, but the, the amount of uh exposure now that they're going to get, more people can tune in

for $12.99 than they could for $80 plus dollars. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a great deal.

I got a dumb question about like,

when did you start negotiating this deal? How long does it take? Because it's a massive, massive deal between two massive companies. It's a lot of money.

when does that like start to take shape yeah so a few months ago our our window our negotiation window opened up as soon as it opened we started talking to all the major players um

you know and that's why there was talk of we could end up on multiple networks um

or or or just one and and literally in the last three days of last week david ellison came in and said

This is an all or nothing deal.

I want everything.

And the thing was negotiated in like 48 hours. Oh, that's was it you negotiating with him or was it, you know, obviously lawyers were involved, but like, were you sitting there?

Listen, my partner is the greatest agent to ever walk the face of the earth, Ari Emmanuel. That's what he does.
And Mark Shapiro,

I think Mark Shapiro has forgotten more about the television business than most people know. So you couldn't have two better guys, you know, in there handling it.
Okay. That sounds exciting.

It sounds like a good thing for UFC fans. I know being able to have a streaming service that

is trustworthy, reliable, always there is going to be a great thing for them. And I know that you've got the Contender Series kicking off, too, which you're very excited about.
So tell

me. My favorite show ever.
Why are you so excited about the Contender Series? Why should I be excited as a self-admitted UFC casual?

If you like fights at all, if you like fighting, if you like to watch fights, on Tuesday nights, there isn't jack shit on TV, and you can tune in to, you know, we take the best unsigned guys in the world that are not under contract with the UFC and it's like an interview, job interview.

You come in and you have three rounds to show me who you are.

And a win doesn't mean you're just going to get into the UFC. You got to show me who you are.
Show me what you got. These kids come in.
and put on some of the greatest fights ever.

It's already created world champions. It's already created top 10, you know, top 10 fighters in their divisions in the UFC.
It is the greatest show on television. I love it.

And I wish I could do it every Tuesday for 52 weeks a year.

It is awesome because it is like that climb that you're watching guys try to make and the hunger they have is completely different than a guy who's made it.

You know, what's the old, you know, they don't do road work in silk pajamas or whatever it is. Like once you get there,

it changes

your perspective. So this is a, I love watching it as well because this guy's just going fucking balls to the wall trying to impress you.
So true.

And what ends up happening for us is that, you know, the show's done so well that by the time before they even set foot in the UFC,

you know, millions of people have already seen them fight. They already have some hype behind them.
And, you know, we already have great highlights of them. So it is literally the perfect.

the perfect TV show. So me and Piquette are very excited about UFC 319.
We had Dricus Duplessis in the studio, and I think we have no choice but to bet on him and to root for the guy.

Seems like a fun guy, great shit talker. Give us an undercard that we should keep our eye on because I think me and Big Cat are both going to go to the fights.
Yeah, oh, yeah. And actually,

I wanted to ask where you think we're going to be sitting. Well,

this whole card

is a fun card. I don't know if you guys saw the fights last weekend.
Again, whole card was incredible. That's what we do.
But it is hard to not talk about this main event.

Amzat Jamayev you know, is back

actually fighting in the United States. He's been fighting overseas, you know, for the last couple of years.
In Chicago, we haven't been in Chicago since before the pandemic. Sold out like this.

The energy, the buzz, everything in there. And that fight is going to be badass.
There's no way that the main event is not the fight of the night. So Big Kat had a fair question, though.

Where are we going to be sitting? Where are you sitting us? So it's going to be me, PFT, Max, and Hank.

So the four guys from PMT, I've been talking to Hunter, smaller Hunter, not bigger Hunter. You got too many Hunters, by the way.
That's fascinating.

That's too many Hunters.

Where are you going to put us? Are we going to be in a. Are we in a good spot? Well, let me ask you a question.
When has Barstool ever shown up to a UFC event and had shitty seats? That's true.

Good point. Good point.
That's a really good fact.

So I'm in Miami right now dropping my daughter off. I'm flying home tonight to do the contender series.
Then I turn right around and fly to Detroit for a meeting.

I'll be in Chicago Thursday for the press conference, and I will sit down with Amber. And that's when I go, we'll go through and make sure that everybody's sitting where I want them to sit.
I love it.

You will be taken care of. I promise.
I love it. And then

if you want to have some free ice cream, you can come to our office. That's a pretty good trade.
You put a guys have free ice cream? Yeah, I bought an ice cream machine. You never

too rich for free ice cream. Yeah.
Come on.

I love, no, I agree. I have a soft serve ice cream machine in my house.
Oh, you really fucker.

What's the model?

Do you know what the model is?

Do you know what the model of the machine is? No, I have no idea. Oh, man.
What would flavors? I would be a sick, demented motherfucker if I knew what the model of the machine was. No, that would mean

you cared about your ice cream.

Come on.

What flavors do you have in your own house?

It can do the vanilla or chocolate or you can do the swirl. Okay, so you probably have the same machine as I have.
Do you have a topping bar?

yes got all the shit yeah that goes on it of course

are you eating ice cream these days because i feel like you've got no unfortunately you've got usually i am not do you do cheat days or you just straight like i cheated yesterday and guess what i'm gonna

wreck chicago okay okay i'm going to gibson's i'm going to lou malnati's and i was watching diners dives and drives and whatever the fuck that the name of that show is and uh they had this place that they say is the best pasta in america And they were showing all this stuff.

I got to Google it and find it. I'm going to track that place down, and I'm going there, too.

There will be no keto in Chicago. I love this.
So you have an ice cream machine in your house that's strictly ornamental. Just so you can be like,

if you want ice cream, it's right there. Yeah.

How's it work at Regiment these days? You look pretty jacked. Good.
I'm going literally right across the street here in Miami is Gary Brecker's place. I'm going over there in a minute.

I'm going to cold plunge and sauna and do some stuff with him. When did you become a black t-shirt guy?

At what point was that like, hey, I'm just black t-shirt? I don't think I'm a black t-shirt guy. I'm a black t-shirt, black suits.
I mean, everything I do is black.

But the black t-shirt, like, that's, I made that shift probably two, three years ago where it's like, I'm just going to be a black t-shirt guy. Like, that happens.
That shift does happen.

You definitely made it,

whether you realize it or not. I've always been a fan of black.
Okay. Okay.
So

I feel like there's got to be, what, like 15 years ago? Did you miss the Ed Hardy days? I feel like you had some more graphic t-shirts back in the day. Did you ever?

I never did the Ed Hardy shit. I did some other goofy shit.
I was wearing something. Let me tell you what.
I wish that whole goofy era could just disappear and go away.

I don't know what the hell everybody was thinking then. Did you ever own a pair of bedazzled jeans? No, that I never did.
Thank God.

I think you're lying on that one. What about the jeans? I swear to God, I'm hella, I never wore bedazzled, but I was wearing those,

the hell was the name of the true religion. Yeah.
Oh, that's pretty close yeah

they have

i don't i don't disagree the acid wash with the tears in them the giant tears do you have any pairs of jeans it was huge and then it just disappeared yeah oh i got another question about your deal with paramount plus cbs what does this mean for joe rogan everything's good for joe rogan joe rogan has no problems in life whatsoever okay

was doing great before the deal he's gonna do just fine after the deal Okay, so he's going to be on all the fights going forward. It's not anything's changing about the announcing team.

Yeah, listen, Joe Rogan isn't here at the UFC because of the money. He did the first 12 events for free.

Joe Rogan has a time problem. Right.
And that's the only thing Joe Rogan has. Joe has a time problem.
If Joe didn't have a time problem,

he'd even be doing the fight nights. Shit, he'd be at the contender series tonight.
Yeah. Yeah.
And John Annick. We're still good with John Annick.
Yep. Okay.

Everything's staying the same as far as the team goes. Okay.
Okay. I love that.
So have you given any thoughts of who's going to fight at the White House? No, I haven't thought about it.

It's still a year away. So, you know, the landscape will change a lot over the next seven months.
So,

no, no idea yet. Do you have fighters that are coming up to you and asking you, hey, can I be the one to fight at the White House? Everybody wants to fight on that card, as they should.

I mean, it's going to be a one-of-one,

once-in-a-lifetime incredible experience. Do you know what? So at the end of this month, on the 28th,

I'm flying to DC to sit down with him and Ivanka. I got all the renderings done.

And me and my head of production, Craig Borsori, are flying out there at the end of the month to meet with those guys and get it all rolling. Because I got an idea for who you should have fight there.

Who?

Hunter Biden and Don Jr.

I think that would be a very

one,

that would be a tough one.

No drug testing. No drug testing.
No drug testing. No drug testing.
Hunter Biden and Don Jr.

I mean, you want to get numbers, Dana. That's going to get numbers.
All right. I'll consider it.
That would be good. If you don't do it, I will.
I'll set the fight up. I'll cover it.

You guys should do that on your barstool thing, you do.

What's the name of that show? Rough and Rowdy. Rough and Rowdy.
There you go. Rough and Rowdy.
There you go. That's broken.
Yeah.

Hey, is Connor McGregor ever going to fight in the UFC again? Yeah, I mean, if you see, he's been posting videos of himself training. He's back in the pool now.
He wants the White House fight. Okay.

Because I like, yeah, I've seen him train, but I've also seen him party a lot recently. I've seen a lot of photos of him recently.
Yeah, there's been some photos.

There's been a lot of things going around. So I didn't know if he was coming back.

Well, listen,

if he

starts getting in shape and training and stays the course, that's the fight he wants.

He keeps telling me he wants that fight. So

we'll see how it plays out over the next several months.

Okay, so for this fight that we're going to be going to here in Chicago, can you give us something in the undercards to look for, like a cool storyline in one of the prelims there's some good prelim fights uh

uh alexander hernandez and chase hooper okay that is a that is a very fun fight um lupi and uh and just gandraj the whole card is bad listen to me oh you're asking me which fight

show up to the first prelim of the night don't don't don't be the guys that show up like uh the fight before the main event okay get there early the card's going to be badass the hooper hernandez fight should be absolute fireworks and fun.

But with all the great undercard fights, I'd still say it's impossible for the main event not to be the fight of the night. Yeah, I'm excited.
Yeah.

What would you say to people who like Savannah Bananas are actually in town as well? So you're going head-to-head with the Savannah Bananas in Chicago Saturday night.

Did we lose you? Yeah, you lost me.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Listen, people are wondering. There's There's definitely some people out there that are like, should I take my five-year-old to the Savannah bananas or the UFC?

You sound like a boxing promoter when UFC was coming out initially. Like, oh, these fucking guys.
Who cares? Yeah. We're already sold out on Saturday night.
I understand, but you never know.

Savannah Bananas. I'm not shitting on the bananas,

but

these guys are killing it. What they've done with that business is fucking incredible.
It's absolutely incredible.

Yeah.

It's crazy what they've done.

You're either a UFC guy or you're a Savannah banana guy. I don't know what you're doing.
Why not both? Why not both? Why not both? Have the fighters do little fun dances. Time is the start.

Which events should you go to? Such seven. I might do a doubleheader.
Fuck it.

I might do three innings of the bananas and get to the UFC fights like 8:30. Get them both in.
I'm going to be watching on my phone, ringside. Has anyone ever done that? Probably not.

I might be the first person who did a double-header bananas UFC. Yeah.
Or you could go to the bananas and watch the watch the fights on your phone while you're there. No.

Pay-per-view. There we go.
Oh, yeah. Oh,

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All right, so the deal's incredible with Paramount Plus. There could be less pay-per-views.
Do you feel like you're kind of stealing

from the guys who are stealing from you, the guys who are pirating all the pay-per-views? They really have nothing left to do if

you get rid of the pay-per-views. Like, what do they have to live for, Dana? That's funny.
No, that's a good point. Like,

you ended the game. That's not fair.
There was a cat and mouse game going on. You were going after him.
I do love that clip where it's like you killing Osama bin Laden. Like, we got him.

We got the guy.

We found the guy who's on cracked or stream east. We got him.

You know, it's fun during that era, we got a lot of guys. We really did get a lot of guys.

So I was doing a,

I was shooting that show that I was telling you about earlier, looking for a fight down in, I think it was in Memphis. And

like some guy

walked out with a fucking gun

into the street and was looking for me because we had caught him stealing the pay-per-view. And like he, he almost lost his bar.
Oh, because

yeah, it was a weird thing.

But yeah, we really got some people during that time, but everybody thinks it's funny till

you get fucking caught. Yeah.
Did you personally do any of that? Did you like find a stream and like send it to your top people? Like, hey, look, this guy's on his couch right now streaming it.

we had a whole team put together we we literally have a whole

if if you looked into our anti-piracy team and and how it's run and and what we do it's it's impressive yeah but think about now what about them yeah what are they gonna do they don't have jobs anymore

yeah well everybody out there thinks ah there's millions of people how can they possibly catch me it is it is impressive the setup on the anti-piracy team and how they do catch these guys

uh my last question: I know it's been a while since this was brought up to you, but if we get a knockout in the main event, I know that Drickus doesn't think he's gonna knock anybody out, but if we get a knockout, will you oil up?

Oh, I don't even know what that means. You know what to oil up.
You oil. You're not oiled up.

We talked about just that head. Yeah.

Talk to me. What's it mean? It means rubbing oil on yourself.

You're going to oil up. Yeah.
Diddy party.

Do you still get the comments? Do you still get the oil up comments?

It's insane. It's insane.
Yeah, it's insane.

I'll be oiling up no matter what happens on Saturday night. Yeah, we're going to bring oil.
Yeah, I'll oil up. We'll oil up.
You give us a hug and a dap, and you'll be oiled up.

So we'll do that for the people. Yeah, all right.

All right, Data.

This fucking interview just went south. Quick.
Oh, it's been going south since the beginning. That's why we love it.

Yeah, actually, no, here's the last, last question. Our UFC, so we have a UFC expert on this show on pardon my take.
He's not here right now. Oh, no, he is here.
Hank, do you have a question?

This is Hank Lockwood, who you know very well as well.

He said last week, I love UFC more than anyone, but it's very violent.

Do we think it's maybe too violent for guys like Hank?

Wait a minute.

He's a big fan. Yeah.
And he said, I love UFC more than anything, but it's too violent. Yeah.

Yes. That's the weirdest fucking thing I've ever heard.
It is. It is It's very weird.
It's the duality of man.

I just love the art of the sport.

He just loves it so much, but there are times where he's like, ooh, that's too violent. Like striking.

Maybe like a little less punching.

All right, Dana, you probably are like, what the fuck did I just do? All right, we'll see you this weekend. We're excited.
UFC 319 in Chicago. You'll be able to see us.

You know what? Let's get at least one AWL who buys a pay-per-view just so they can see us for those like two seconds they show us on camera.

But Drickus is going to be awesome, and it's going to be a great event. And Dana, thanks so much and congrats again.
Thanks, boys. I appreciate it.
I'll see you Saturday.

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We got partner takes, sports partner takes before football season.

Who on the show would be the funniest slash best start to the season hot, like 5-0, and then

immediately lose every game the rest of the season? Oh, I've got one.

Okay, give it to us. Memes.
Memes. The Jets.
The Jets would be very, because we would get memes just absolutely melting down. Like a crazy meltdown.

It's so so mean, but it's so true. It is true.

You know, I'm right.

I think that's, yeah, and I feel like that question is basically just mere memes because that would be the most likely outcome: our teams do something good for a small window and then just completely fall on their face.

That kind of did happen to the Bears last year. Yeah.

After the Jacksonville game in London, I was like, this team is fucking good.

They were not.

But they kind of were. But they all.
You win that Washington game. Yeah.
Six and two. Yeah.

Yeah, it did kind of happen. And I did say some reckless shit.
So, yeah.

I guess that would be fun. I mean, Max would.
But Max just won a Super Bowl, so he can't be upset. No.

He will be. But

actually, that'd be funny because Max would get upset. Then we'd have to go the other way and just remind Max how he's not allowed to be upset.
Yeah. And that would make him more angry.

Hank would be sneaky funny just because we'd get to see Hank locking back in and then just locking back out. Yeah.

That would be a very funny ride. Just be like, like, you'd, you'd have a lot of bravado and swagger, and then to watch it go back to nothing would be funny.

Yeah, fair. Okay.
So, yeah, PFT and Max, I think, are excused from it because their teams are actually good. It would just suck.

And they have, like, but, but even, but if you're actually a good team and you start 5-0, it's like... Yeah, but if you win 5-0,

you would be 10 out of 10 excited. Oh, it would be insane.
Insane.

I'd be saying reckless for you.

If you go 5-0, if your team is sitting perfect after five weeks, you are thinking soupy big. You're thinking undefeated.
If the Jets are 5-0, it's crap. Oh.

Just pray for everyone. The amount of hate I'd get online from the Jets being 5-0 would be insane to Justin Fields.

Sorry, I got a take. All right.

Should we be concerned that Caleb is not playing meaningful minutes in August when he's clearly not even the 17th best quarterback in the league?

Good question.

I think the reasoning was they did extended practices with the Dolphins, and he got a shitload of reps in live tackling reps with the Dolphins.

And what does eight reps on Sunday do that he can't do with 30 reps against the Dolphins? Now, preference?

I would have liked to see him play. I would have.
How's Bagent looking?

Bajant's Bajant's good. He just doesn't have an arm.
Yeah. Like, that's really what he's a good.
He's a smart guy, tough guy.

Can make some of the throws, not all the throws. If Bajant didn't have tattoos, would we be talking about him like he is a potential 12-year backup quarterback?

If you could just pump a little more arm into Bajant, it would be sick. But yeah,

I would have liked to see him play. Would you have liked to see Jaden play? No.

No, I was thinking about that because there will be a couple times a game when Jaden gets hit where I'm like, oh my God, what happened? Yeah.

And I just, I don't put him in bubble wrap, lock him in a room. Yeah.

I would have preferred to see Caleb play, but I also understand the fact that he did do like extended, extended practices that were live reps. Most violent practice they've ever seen.
I like that.

Yeah.

Hey, fellas, if each of you were offered the chance to implement one wacky rule change within reason in the NFL prior to the start of the season, what would you pick?

I've always liked the idea of

like maybe one point if you can kick it through the uprights on a kickoff. I was going to say four-point field goal, anything above 60 yards.

Or like one point if you hit the crossbar on a kickoff. Yeah.

I wouldn't mind one fifth down a game. Just like we get one fifth down.
When do you use it? Yeah, when do you use it? You just get one extra. Yeah.
It's not bad. I'd add a nice like element of.

Because then we would have another thing we criticize coaches for too.

No fourth quarter, though. I want to just save it for the fourth quarter.
I don't think that's true. I think there would be.

No, there would definitely be times where teams would use use it in the first if they're like goal line and they're like, hey, we got to get seven here.

And then we could criticize them. I mean, think about it with challenges in like the NBA.
Coaches burn their challenges in the first quarter sometimes.

I think one guy getting a knife would be a good addition to. One guy getting a knife would be awesome.
Also, maybe one series where you could do multiple forward passes. I like that.

That would be really like this is our forward pass series. I like that a lot.

You just have a different playbook where you can, a guy could be like 10 yards down the field field and he just throws it again?

The XFL had you can do two forward passes on the same play if the first pass is completed behind the line of scrimmage. Okay.
So if there was like a screen pass, that guy could then throw a pass.

Yeah. What about lineman touchdowns count as more? Ooh.
Yeah. But they have to kick the extra point for it to count more.
So, okay.

I like that. I like that.
Yeah. I said this, I think, two years ago, but having, if anybody above 300 pounds kicks the extra point, it's worth two.
Yeah. Yep.

But what about lineman scores and it's a regular touchdown, and if they kick the extra point, it's like another four points. Yeah.

But you can only, it has to be the lineman scores first. And it has to be like, you can't just like put a tight end at tackle and the tight end score.
Like it has to be like a real lineman.

It has to be over 280 pounds. Yeah.

I think you're allowed to get 12 men on the field for

one play per drive, but the 12th man has to be your head coach. I like that.
On defense. What do you guys think about a blind play?

What do you mean? Just everyone puts on blind folds on both sides of the ball. That'll be fun.
And the ball beeps?

What happened?

Who knows? There just has to be one blind play per game.

Jameis threw 40 touchdowns when he was blind. What about if it was one blind play, but the quarterback can see and the middle linebacker can see?

They're just yelling to each other. Yeah, I like that.
You direct everyone else on your team? Yeah, one blind play.

Okay.

My preseason part of my take is that Aiden Hutchinson will lead the NFL in Sacks and win defensive player of the year.

He got robbed of a season last year and will come out balls hot this year. Okay.
All right. I mean, he's a great player.
Yeah.

He was awesome last year until he got hurt. He did snap his leg.
Yeah. I wonder how

ready to go he is. I think he'll be ready.
Yeah.

Hey, Big Cat, PFT Hank, Max Memes, and new edition, Zach. My preseason take is that the Chiefs will not win 10 games this season.

I think they'll still be a good football team, but I think they'll lose a lot of close games, and Mahomes will be in his real retooling year this offseason.

Also, take Mike Rayball, Coach of the Year, and Christian Gonzalez, DPOI. I like this.

I like everything this guy's saying.

He kind of pussy-footed that take, though. Because if the Chiefs don't win 10 games, they're not a good football team.
They're not going to make the playoffs. Right.

So

you're just come out with your chest and say they're not going to make the playoffs. This is wish casting.
I think we all engage in some of this.

A lot of fan bases do before the season starts, which is like, maybe this is the year that the Chiefs just suck and we don't have to worry about them. But that's not the case.

I would say that this does feel like the offseason that the rest of the AFC is as close to the Chiefs as they've been in a while. Yeah, I mean, Kelsey, he'll probably step it up in the playoffs, but

he didn't look as good as he has last year.

They're caring about their podcast more. Yeah, sad.
It's really sad. Very sad to see.
Really sad. Okay.
That's why I quit playing my attempts to play in the NFL because of the podcast.

Because you can only focus on one of the two. Yeah.
Laser focus.

Any more?

That's it. Okay.
All right.

Good show, boys. Yeah.
We'll be all together. The Internet Invitation, which won't be live.
It's pre-taped. So it'll come out.
When does it come out? December?

October. I'm not sure.
October. So, but we will all be be together.
We'll have a PM TV next week. A little behind the scenes of us there.
I think we have a pool.

Oh, I love that. How are you in a pool, Zach?

I can swim. Okay.
Oh, yeah, you had a pool. Yes, sir.
How are you underwater? I can hold my breath as well.

Should we try to maybe do some Navy SEALs training? Yeah. I've done a Navy SEAL with you guys.
Buds. Yeah.

Can we put a GoPro underwater?

Sure. Okay.
Yeah.

Maybe we do that one where you have to like, you have to kick off the bottom and come up you're we we tie our hands and our feet we just put Zach on on POV like when you put a GoPro on a dog and have him go around yeah it'd be fun I'm down to get dangerous you're thinking tie hands and feet yeah I'm down to get dangerous all right if you're down I'm down okay let's do it could be good team building PFT's got a tournament he's got to worry about but we don't no I don't I don't really care we could just test ourselves we could test we could drown ourselves I'm down there to have fun yeah we could drown ourselves all right numbers for great I think that was me.

I think BFT.

22.

I don't know about you. Oh,

I asked for Mount Rushmores yesterday. There was a good idea.
The Mount Rushmore of Numbers meme should pick.

That's a good one. Should we do that right now and see if one of our teams gets? Yeah, I mean, I think you should take three.
All right, let's do a regular one and then we'll do that real quick.

We'll rip it real quick. All right.
So,

you have three? Yep. What do you have, memes?

Do 21. Okay.
LT, Jed.

I'm going to do 17. I'll do 6.

31.

22. 99, puck.
Come on, 3. 18.

85. I see 3.

67, 6, 7.

67. All right, real quick, same order as we just did our Mount Rushmore.
Okay, the Mount Rushmore numbers that memes should pick.

And does this count officially? No, it doesn't. No, come on.

What do you mean? All right, go ahead, Max. You guys are up first.
We're on the same team. I think memes can't take part in this because it's the Mount Rushmore.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.

You're right. Yeah, memes is out of this.
Memes is out of this. All right, Max.
92. Okay.

Memes, Zach, and Big Cat will go three.

It's a good number. We'll go six and 77.
Okay. 77, good.
6, 77. Zach, give us one.
We'll go 91. 91.
Okay, Max, you have two picks. We'll go 76 and 85.
91. Going towards PC shit.
All right.

I want to go.

Let's go.

I don't even remember what my first pick was. Let's go.

Zach, give us. Oh, 41.

You guys have two? Yeah, we had 6 and 77. Yep.
Yep. Now you have two more.
Two more picks. You got it.
Don't rush. Oh, okay.
So then I'm going to go with 19

and

95. 95.
All right. We will finish with

23. We'll do 56.
Okay. All right.
So team Max has 92, 76, 85, 56.

Zach and I have 391, 41, 23. PFD and Hank have 6, 77, 19, and 95.

Mount Rushmore of numbers that memes should pick. What if Max gets this?

If one of us gets it, it counts for a Mount Rushmore.

Deal.

Yeah, it counts for... Deal, okay?

If someone gets it, you get one point. Deal.
44.

Is it 20? 20. Ah,

we'll have to do that again. Yeah, that was good.

Fun game. Fun game.
Love you guys. You're never going to get it.

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While the Who's of Hooville laughed and made cheery, the Grinch hatched a plot to make their season more dreary. Del Pickle seasoning on on fries, missed Argyle's stockings.

That'll sure make for a shocking unboxing. The new Grinch Meal.
Now at McDonald's, as participating McDonald's while supplies last.