Travis Pastrana, Preseason Football Thoughts, Tommy Fleetwood Chokes Again, Who's Back Of The Week + Mt Rushmore Of Things We Can't Wait To Do When We're Old

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A little interstitial from Big Dom.

Just in. Just kidding.
Everyone complaining about us doing interviews with the Super Bowl champs. We have an awesome interview with Travis Pastrana,

top four Mount Rushmore of coolest guys we've ever interviewed. And toughest man to keep your own part of my take.
So awesome interview with him.

We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of things we're looking forward to doing when we're old, which should be very fun. We have a lot of ball to talk about.
We've got preseason games.

We've got some baseball. We got some golf.
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Okay, let's go.

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Today is Monday, August 11th, and we are back in studio.

And we got ball to talk about, boys. All kinds of ball.
A lot of ball. I was thinking about a segment that we could do for around the league.
Okay.

Going deep.

Something really creative like that. I like that.
Under center with part of my take. Hut, hut, hike.
I like that. Hut, hut, hike.
Yeah.

You know, those sound effects they use. Did CeeDee Lamb deserve to get run over? First question, big cat.
First and 10. CeeDee Lamb did deserve to get run over.
Got to have your head on a swivel.

Did Dak Prescott, was Dak Prescott out of pocket, as a kid say, when he told Stan Cronke

he'll see you in the NFC Championship game? A little bit out of pocket. I would say that was a pretty crazy thing to say.
Yeah, when Dak gets out, though.

He's not that mobile anymore, so not that much of a threat. Third down.
Third down.

Do the Jets have a chance at the postseason? Oh, I'm happy you bring this up. The Jets.
Let's talk about the Jets real quick. This is good.
We're whipping around the league. First and 10.

Pardon my take.

Our good friend Memes,

he tweeted out this weekend. He's the guy.

Talking about Justin Fields.

Now, Memes,

I didn't watch the game. I saw some of the highlights.
I have one question for you. Yes.

He's the guy.

He led a touchdown drive, correct? Yeah, the expectations were really low. Hold on, hold on.
Let me get my question.

So,

explain to me the touchdown throw that he had. He ran it in.
Oh!

Okay. So, yeah.

It was a nice run, though. It was a great run.

He's so fast. Right.
That's Justin Fields. He's a really good runner.
He had a couple throws that were good, too. Okay.
It's preseason. You just get up.
You're going to hurt yourself.

Probably, but I'll defend Justin Fields until the Jets are mathematically eliminated. Okay.
Okay. I think that you're

right to be excited about Justin Fields, especially in the preseason. Like, that was a great run.
Timeout. Timeout.
We're going to need a timeout here.

We've got to think about our fourth down before our fourth down play comes in. We've got to think about this.
We're going to go for it. What you just said is not true.
What do you mean?

You just said, I'm going to defend Justin Fields until the Jets are mathematically eliminated. is,

there are many circumstances where I could see that not being true.

No, no.

Yes. What if he gets benched? Yes.
If he sucks, you're going to kill him.

Yeah, but he's not going to suck. He's going to be good enough to win you some games.
Okay. Listen, Justin Fields

whole thing

is fun to watch.

It's fun to watch. It is very fun to watch.
And the offensive line was really good yesterday. He had tons of time.

He looked good. Okay.
Okay. You ready for fourth down? I had one follow-up to third down.
Okay. I'm going to throw a challenge flag on third down.
Okay. Memes.

Aaron Glenn.

Still the guy? Because you also said that he's the guy. And then you said that Justin Fields was the guy.
So which one is the guy on your team? Aaron Glenn's definitely the guy. Okay.

So Justin Fields is a guy.

He's a guy for now. No,

you could have a coach who's the guy. You could have two guys? Well, yeah, you could have a two guys.
How does that work? You can a coach. Yeah, I mean,

that works a lot of times. You definitely can.
It's a different position. No, I think your coach is the man.

Hank, would you say that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick were both the guy when they were in New England?

Yes. Yeah, I mean, I think it's position-dependent.
You can't have two the guys in one position playing the same position. They don't play the same position.
I know, they don't.

Who do you feel more confident in? Aaron Glenn or Justin Fields? Aaron Glenn. Aaron Glenn was motherfucking people yesterday after

offsides penalty push out of bounds. I love that.
There was no accountability. There was no accountability before.

I re-listed to the John Harbaugh one, and he came in. He was motherfucking people.

Same thing. You just got to change your culture.
What if Aaron Glenn says that Justin Fields isn't the guy?

Whatever he says goes. Okay.
Okay. Memes, I have another question on third down because this is we're kind of in a similar situation.

Coach that we think is like culture changer do you think because i'm going through these thoughts with the bears the bears last week had uh the most violent practice that that has happened at hales hall since lovey smith they had uh a scrimmage against the dolphins where the dolphins were like getting beat up uh little like edge to them teeth to their defense but do you think because the culture was so bad they're just playing regular football and it's so different than what it was that everyone's like holy shit that's my only concern.

I don't know if you go through those same concerns with Jets, where it's like Aaron Glenn is yelling at someone for being off sides. That's just what a coach should do.

But because you and I have not had coaches who have done that, we're like, oh my God, this guy's incredible. He's changing the whole culture.
But he's actually just coaching. He's just doing his job.

Yeah, it is just new. New to the Jets.
Okay. Yeah, no, I'm saying this.

I'm speaking from the same spot where I'm just like, part of me is like, I'm so excited, but I have to temper my excitement because I'm like, maybe he's just doing what every coach, competent coach, should have been doing.

Like, you go from Matt Eberflus to

Ben Johnson. That's a big difference.
You go, you know, Robert Salah, Jeff Ulbrick to Aaron Glenn, that's a big difference.

Yeah, the Jets just needed some accountability, but it's also a preseason game one. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
But you can get excited about it. Get excited.
That touchdown run was awesome.

It was against the Packers starters. Yep.
Jordan Love didn't complete a pass. There you go.
Love that. Packers also didn't look like they practiced.
Love that. Not the Jets.
Love that. Not the Jets.

Jermaine Johnson just got activated off the pup. Mm-hmm.
Yep. Vibes are immaculate.
All right.

Take a cold hard six-pack of one-question memes. Okay.

Will the Jets make the playoffs?

Right now. Mm-hmm.

Right now, if the season ended dead. That's a yes.
That was a yes. Right.
If the season ended

on Sunday, August 10th, the New York Jets would be a playoff team. Right now, yes.
That was the yes. Yeah.
Okay, I like that. Okay.

You want to keep it in the division or you want to whip it around the league?

What? For the cold horse? Yeah,

for fourth down. Oh, no, fourth down.

I had a fourth down in mind. Shador Sanders, the greatest quarterback of all time.
I think he's very good.

I think Shador looked really good. He got a Nike ad.
Yeah. He got a Nike ad.
Only a matter of time. It was the first preseason game.

There's just no way that this will backfire at all, right? No way. Well, I mean, the Browns are set up to the point where they have ⁇ one of those guys has to play play good, right?

Yeah, but no, no, definitely not. You don't think one of them? One of them is going to look better than the others.
Yes, but that doesn't mean they...

One of them could look better than the others in camp, and they could not play well in the previous one. That's what I mean.

In the preseason, one of those guys is going to end up looking great and be like, yeah, okay, we've got a bona fide starter. Right now, I think it's whoever starts those games.

I think that, like, if they kick it over to Flacco for a start, he'll carve up a defense in preseason. Yeah.
If they have Dylan Gabriel, if he's healthy to start, he'll have a great game.

I want Chador Sanders to be good because I think it would be great for the take ecosystem. He's a polarizing guy.
We need to fill some of these spots that we have open.

I just thought that the Nike had only a matter of time for the first preseason game was maybe a little premature.

But this is kind of like when the Browns have a polarizing quarterback like that, it makes it more fun. Oh, definitely.
Like Johnny Manzel in the preseason, all that stuff. This is good.

And I think that Chador, there were some things that he did in that game where I was like, yeah, I think he could be a good quarterback. For sure.
Like going to second third option. It is preseason.

But, yeah, being excited about a Browns game. That's exciting.
Yeah. Very exciting.
All right, that was our first and first and ten with PMT.

There was a pass interference on fourth down, so we get a new set of downs. Oh, okay.

Zach, did you have first down?

First down? The Bucs play the Titans? No, you have first down. First down?

The first down? Yeah.

What's going on, Hank?

How are we? How are we feeling today?

I was just, uh, we might have ourselves a little bit of a Wally Pimp situation.

Every day's going well.

You really delivered that?

I'm home for a funeral, Zach.

Yeah, that's my condolences, Hank.

Oh, we've we made him. We're like, he's like, I'm not saying that.
And we're like, you actually have to say that. And then you delivered it with

zero confidence. I just knew the circumstances.

No, but you look good, Zach. Don't understand.
Sit on that couch. Wally pimp.
Yeah. He does look good.
I won't move anything around, Hank. I promise I'm not touching your stuff.
Yeah. It's all right.

You're good. Thank you for having me.
Zach's redecorating your room while you're going, Hank guys. All right, new set of downs.
What were you going to say about the Bucks?

Oh, I think the Bucks look good. Kyle Dress looked good.
I know he's a baguette quarterback. Mbugu got a catch.
Ketch looked good. Back guy's still not playing.
We just got to get the weight off him.

A couple more weeks. Sonasu, something.
I would love to see him play, though, soon. Please soon.
He might just be in good shape for a playoff push.

I just love the idea of him next to Vita Vea.

Just so much mass right there. It's also very funny because when he does get to the playing weight that the Bucs feel is good enough for him to play, he's still going to be very fat.
Big boy, yeah.

Yeah, like

just throw him out there, dude. Like, what does it matter? This might be how you guys stop the tush push.

Historically, we are pretty good against a tush push. Adding him is just a whole nother.
Yeah. Whole nother defensive

defense. whole lot of defense on him.
Yeah, a whole lot of tush. You guys have more tush than the Eagles.
More tush than they have push, you think? Yeah, I think so. Well, of the tush push,

Landon Dickerson carted off. So, yeah, he was carted off.
Max.

He was kind of carted off. Kind of.
It is important to make a distinction that when you cart somebody off, there's the back to the cart and then there's a pass

shotgun. Landon Dickerson was riding shotgun as he was carted off.
He also was helped off of the field and then brought to the cart and then sat down. So the cart didn't come all the way up.

The cart was not on the field. Okay.
The cart was not on the field. He got driven to the locker room riding the shotgun.
Correct. Oh, so he was going for a ride.
It's probably fine.

But there's a, I mean, there's a lot.

Could he have driven the cart?

Probably.

He's a man. Yeah.
Did you watch the video of it? Yes. So there's a lot of good news, bad news going on.
Okay, inter breakdown. Do you want to do bad news first or good news?

We already did the good news was that he was sitting passenger seat. That he was sitting in the passenger seat and that he was

sucks when you pass over the battlefield. He almost was able to walk off of the field.

Big Dom, he had his arms around Big Dom. Big Dom was helping him off.
But he was putting a little bit of weight on it, you know.

But the video shows that it didn't look like a ton of contact, which is always the bad news. But

I saw what happened to Memes

a couple weeks ago. He got really upset off of something that there's not real good footage of.
You don't really know what happened. I'm going to wait to really react until I know what the injury is.

What do memes get really upset about? He thought Justin Fields was dead. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Always assume for the worst. Yeah, he stubbed his toe.

I like this. This is maturity.

There's no reason to freak out yet.

There's no reason to freak out yet. It could be anything.
If you were to freak out, what would it look like?

I can't tell you because

that would just be a fake freak out because there's no reason to freak out yet. Okay, but what's the darkest thought that's gone through your head?

That

he would be hurt. He's a big part of our offensive line.
Our offensive line is a big part of our offense. It's a big part of our team.

It would just have to be a next man up mentality, but he's a big man to lose. You guys got to get our next man to lose.
Yeah, the next man up is not as good as him. More teams should do next man up.

They should, and the Eagles normally do, but it's, you know, we already lost Bechton, so then that's kind of the next man up. And if we lose both of our.

You lost Bechton, but he's on the Chargers, and then the Chargers lost Bechton, so now the Chargers have to go next man up.

Yeah, that's next man up.

Everywhere is in a next man-up kind of situation. Preseason injuries shouldn't count.

Preseason. We should just turn on.
What if we just don't do it? Well,

he got injured not in a preseason game. Yeah, just don't do it.
Don't do practice starting. Don't do training camp.
Yeah.

I feel like that might be more injuries. Yeah, you don't know that.
Yeah,

I think that if you're just like, hey, guys, come back and it's week one. Yeah, like, tell everyone, get everyone to work out on their own, on their own accord.
Safely. Safely.

And then once everyone feels like they're in shape, we just start playing football. We start playing.

The amount of people that are fighting about whether football is back or football is not back, we just wouldn't have that problem anymore. Football would just be awesome.

But would you have to wait for everyone to get in shape? Because then we might not have football because the Bucs fat guy. Well, Bucs, fat guy, can't play.
You're not in shape, you can't play.

During the games, they have to walk around the field with the fat suit on. There's definitely the thought crossed Mike McDaniel's mind to do that exact thing.
Yeah.

He's like, let's just not do training. Let's just show up and be fast week one.
Yeah. Yeah.

Tyreek Hill, you promised that you're going to behave yourself this summer. They all

have to. Come at your fastest.

That would weed out a lot of

bad mentality players. Do you really love football? Exactly.
Do you care enough about your teammates to stay in shape and stay out of trouble this summer? How would you pick a team?

How would you make cuts? Vibes. You know, last year, you just go off of last year.
Last year, like, just send us your most hype

Instagram workout. Tavony.
So you're just going, no new friends. No.
Yeah. No new friends.

These that you draft that you believe are going to be good. But yeah.
A sick edit of like a fifth string wide receiver doing some cone drills out on a field with like his high school quarterback.

Yeah. And you're like, okay, I think we got our number two.
He's in.

He's in. Preseason injuries are bullshit.
I know. They are.
They are absolute bullshit. But I'm not overreacting

to

cell phone videos. Okay, fourth down.
We're going to kick a field goal. Okay.
Cam Little kicked a 70-yard field. 70-yarder.
Will we see a 70-yarder in the NFL this season? We had two.

We had Cam Little 70-yarder and then Ray Davis running back for the Bills kick a 25-yarder. Pretty cool.
That was pretty cool. I love it when position players do that.
Yeah.

But the Cam Little one was nuts. And it was good from like 75.
It was pure. And that was some thick.
Zach is our expert on this. That's some thick air.
Jacksonville area? Very viscous air. Yeah.
Very

hot. Got the humid, heavy

air. A bit of meth smoke in the air weighing the ball down.
Certainly that. Not easy to kick in those conditions.
It's the opposite of mile high.

But it still went 70. 70.
It did, yeah. And his teammates were so pumped for him.
Yeah. That was the most excited I saw any players in the preseason.
It's like our kicker just drilled a 70-yarder.

Very cool. Yeah, he nailed it.
I mean, he should. I don't know how

the Jaguars are going to do on fourth downs this year. Like, most coaches in the NFL, even if they know their kicker can hit a 70-yarder, they get to like the 50-yard line.

They just think all the most negative thoughts. Yeah.
Well, what if he misses? What if it gets blocked? It gets returned. But, I mean, if you're drilling a 70-yarder, you should make a 60-yarder.

Like, it's almost a chip shot. What if we moneyballed this? What if you have a guy who can hit consistently 70-yarder? So

what

yard line is that from that? You would kick that from, you'd get the ball to the 47-yard line. 47-yard line.
All right, so let's say your own 47. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's just say for this thought experiment, let's say he can kick a 77-yarder consistently just every time he hits it. So you get the ball to your own 47.

Do you think a team would be like, we don't need an offense? We will just draft all defense every year.

We can run in a different defense

series to series. All we got to do is get the ball to the 40, and we'll just kick.

Pretty much just hope the way that uh the return game's going like just return the ball to the 35 yeah or the 40 and then just kneel it out jumbo set jumbo set just jumbo set run the ball right try to get 10 yards right up the middle and then we'll kick if you get three points per drive i think you win most football i think we just broke football and also if you have a defense that is so good you have two starting defenses that you can just rotate in then you get field position so when you get it If you were to get like an interception in your opponent's territory, do you then kick a field goal in first down?

Yeah, I think so, too. Yeah.
All right, we just broke football. Hank, what'd you think about the Brady statue?

Was it up to your liking?

Yeah, I mean, I wish it was like, I don't know, 30 feet bigger, but

did he light the lighthouse?

What'd you say? Did he light the lighthouse? No, they had the McCordy Twins do it. But they just rang the bell.
They didn't like the Lighthouse. Well, yeah, that's the tradition.
Yeah. Yeah.

As we know. But in terms of the statue,

I thought it was one of the better statues. I think it's a good statue.
I think it's fierce. I think I like, you know, his hands up.
His face looks good.

It's going to, you know, in a good spot at the stadium where people walk in, so it'll be good, good photo op.

My only complaint, which I don't think is even realistic, is like, I just wish it was 40 feet tall. Yeah.
It was very lifelike. They nailed the mobility.
Yeah.

Hank, while we have you, let's do halftime, halftime entertainment, Jordan of the week.

Have you seen the recent Jordans?

She has compared herself to Taylor Swift's publicist, Tree Payne, who is well known as probably the best publicist.

That's my goat. Yeah, she's my goat as well.
She's the one who told the Swifties, come after me.

She basically was like, no one, everyone was loving Belichick's new media makeover, and they didn't realize I was the one who was doing it until they found out who I was. Thoughts.

I did not see that.

We love Jordan's podcast. We do.
We love her. We love her.
I would have to agree.

I would have no choice but to agree. I have a question.
Was that picture of Bill Belichick photoshopped in any way?

I mean, there's no way you're coming at a guy for having man tits, right? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't. I asked the question.
Why did you jump to that? You don't even know what picture I'm talking about. I do know what picture you're talking about.
Okay.

Explain the

picture. And yes, man breasts happen, okay? Some of the Tony Soprano.
You can say what you say all the time. Oh, bad angle, blah, blah, blah.

I'm just asking a question. Was that Photoshop? I'm actually on your side here, Hank.
I saw it and was like, there's no way that's real.

Is there no way that's real?

I think it was the shirt. It was kind of a Heather gray, so it really outlined the shadows.
Okay. It did look like he's wearing a bra Because they had me barking.

He's a barrel-chested beast. Barrel chested, that's a strong man.

That's something that we used to look up to in society. He's gone away from that.
Yeah.

Did you guys see the picture, Max?

Everyone saw the picture? Barking. Have you seen it? Oh, Zach, give us your instant reaction.
Zach's seeing you for the first time right now, Bill Belichick.

He's got some heavies. He's got some heavies.
And again, I'm not judging Hank because I do also have have heavies. So it would be crazy for me to judge someone else's heavies.

I just asked if it was real or not. If I'm making a guess, I'm leaning towards T-Cups here.

We just got to get them some Spanks. I'd grab them.
That always works.

Yeah.

Some Spanks would be good. This is probably

I bought some new Spanks, by the way.

Put me on.

I'll let you know when they come.

The advertising got me so perfectly.

It was like so hideous, the dude that they use as their model. I was like, they must work.

He looked like a Lego piece. He was just a box.
He was just a box of a man. Those are, yeah, you're right, Hank.
Those are, that's the angle. That's, or PFT.
That's the angle.

It's the shade of gray in the t-shirt. It could also be Jordan being Jordan.
This is how she earns her money doing PR.

It's like, oh, everyone's talking about the negatives with Bill Belichick right now. He's got this young beauty queen girlfriend who's really, really attractive and very smart.

And we don't want to be drawing the attention away from Bill. Bill, let's send you out there with a couple of softballs, 16-inch softballs inside a sports bra.

Then people will start the conversation of like, is Bill Belichick hot? Yeah. Like, would you fuck Bill Belichick? I would.

Those heavies. Yeah.
Max? I think he just became twice as fuckable. Max, as a guy who doesn't like titty fucking? I mean, those are those are beasts.
Those who get the job done. Gotcha, bro.
I also, I

also have manned titties, though, so it's fine. Right.
So we're, we, we can speak from a a place of of love it's also the way his arms are like he's really

you can't do that what I've been noticing is that my move has been

arm on the table like if you get if you can get a tape like a chair or arm on the table and you kind of like put your arm almost in front of you you're talking about the sorority skinny no no no no because that's on the side of the hip I'm talking about literally like because when you have your arm in front of you like that it almost flattens your chest a little it's this it's the same arm Belichick should do one of those sorority dance videos with the UNC football team.

No, because the sorority girl arm is on your hip and it pops the tits. I'm talking about forward, so it almost like caves in the tits.
I'm talking about mostly just the arm. Yeah.
The skinny arm.

Yeah, but they also, the skinny arm also acts as a pop for the tits. Yeah.
But I'm trying to go the other way. They know what they're doing.
Yeah.

Okay, that was halftime entertainment.

I want to talk some. I got more Patriots for Hank.
Okay. Mike Vrabel,

the dude. I think the Patriots are back.
Oh, he was in the.

That happened when we were.

He got

in a brawl at a training camp, dove into the pile, and cut his face up pretty good. And then first play from scrimmage, Trayvion Henderson.

I think he's a great running back, Hank. I think he got a good one.

I think we're going to be the best team on this podcast. I don't know if I've said that yet.
No, that's a heavy thing to say. Heavier than Bill Belichick's chest.

Yeah. That's okay.
So that's the two teams that were in the NFC championship last year.

I'll give you the Bears and Jets. That's not really a bold statement.
The Bucs are pretty fucking good.

So you're saying you're going to be better than the Bucs, the Eagles, and the Commanders. Wow.
King Hank is good. And the Bears.

Yeah, I know.

Again,

that's not going crazy. Because I was watching this game, Hank.
You know what I thought? What? Super Bowl preview?

That's

the BB.

People forget that Hank owes me $30,000 if the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl this year or next.

But I like our chances now. Yeah.
Do you want to double it? No. No.
I don't.

I'm going to OPFT my life in a couple years.

We're just going to have to long drive forever. You know what's crazy, though, is you guys can't beat the NFC East in the Super Bowl.

We beat the Eagles. That was a long time ago.
Okay, but we we did. Long time ago.

Mike Brable has beaten the NFCs in the Super Bowl. Okay, that's a fair point.
But that was a long time ago. Point for point.
That was a long time ago. Point for point.
Do we have any other

football that we want to talk about? I have a couple takes that I wanted to throw out there that just be like, hey,

I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers, but I got a take. Okay.
And one's football, one's baseball. Two baseball, actually.
You ready for him? All right, so this is just all due respect.

I'm doing an all-due respect respect segment. All due respect.

Virginia McCasky passed away, all due respect.

The patch is too big. Did you guys see the patch? I did not see that, no.
Pull up the patch. Now I know what they're doing.

They're doing the same patch that they did for her father, George Hallis, when he died. So it's the same size.
The problem is

those uniforms... Back then, 30 years ago, the pads were bigger, the uniforms were bigger, the patch didn't take up as much real estate.
This patch is too big, and

it's a fine patch, it's too big. It's got to be like 50%

as big. It's pretty big.
Look how big that is. Yeah, the M is huge.
Don't you guys agree? All due respect. I'll do respect.
Too big of a patch. Why not a helmet sticker?

Because they want to do the same thing as the George House one. Yeah.
Which I get, but all due respect, let's just...

Let's do the thing where, you know, someone's like, every like, every retweet I get, I make this 10% bigger. Let's just every game make it 10% smaller and no one will notice.
Yeah, it's giant.

It draws the eyes. It's too big.
It's way too big because the uniforms are just a lot tighter than they were 40 years ago. So, yeah.
Yeah, we got to do something about this patch. The patch is...

All due respect. It's the M, too.
All due respect, guys. The patch is so

big and so kind of like in your face that I wish she was still alive. All due respect.
Because then we wouldn't have the patch. Right? Yeah.
That's good math.

All right, here's my other all due respect. All due respect.

Shout out to Woman Ump.

Yep. All due respect.
All due respect.

What was her name? Powell? She's an ump.

She did okay, right? The first strike was funny. First strike was very funny.
You got it.

But she also, this is one of those things that Jen Powell, this is one of those things that, like, all the umps suck. So she kind of was like, hey, I'm just part of the club.

That's better than Angel Hernet is. Yeah.
At least, right? But it was very funny.

She wanted the first pitch to be a strike so bad that no matter where it was going going to be, she was calling a strike. So it's kind of shocking that it took this long,

right? Yeah. Because there have been

NFL refs, NBA refs. Yeah.
I don't know if hockey. But it's kind of also mean to

celebrate this. I understand why, because it's obviously something that's never happened before.
But also, we're celebrating somebody that's being put in a position to get all the hate in the world.

Yeah, we're going to hate your guts, Jen. No matter what gender you are, we're going to hate you.
And if you're a female umpire, you're going to deal with the same shit that the Hernandez

and the Wests of the world got. Right.
That's why I loved her first strike call. Yeah.
Because it was bad. And it was like, all right, she's perfect.
Yep. She passed the test.

That hat is in the Hall of Fame now. Is it? It is, yeah.
Oh, damn. And then the other all due respect was the kid ump.
I'm just,

if people have not seen it, uh, the Cubs Cardinals series this weekend, there's been a kid ump in, I don't know, the second or third row, and he wants to be, he's a kid.

I'm not going to go against the kid. I'm going to go against his parents because the kid wants to be an ump.
He's 13 years old. He's been doing balls and strikes, home run calls, everything

during the game.

I don't like these parents. So the kid's obviously very passionate about umpiring, which is an interesting thing to be into.
Whatever. I'm not going to judge your interests as a kid.

I blame mostly just the TV producers for putting him on too much.

This should be a once-a-game looking. It should also have been one game.
Yeah, yeah. Friday night, he was there, and I I was like, okay, all right, one time.
Yeah. And then it just kept on happening.

I was like, kid ump's still there. This is too much.
Right.

Like, if they just cut to him after a home run and he made the home run motion and then they never cut back to him again, everybody would be like, this kid ump is awesome. That was so funny.

It also made me think, so I guess there is some positive to come from kid ump. Why doesn't the Little League World Series have kid umps?

That would be so funny. Because they get the best of the best.

They do get the best of the best. I know that for a fact.
But how funny would that be? If it was just kids umping kids.

And then they're yelling at the kids, yeah, and then the coaches come out and kick dirt on the kids' shoes. Kids should be allowed to yell at the kids, yeah.

Like the umps should be able to yell and kick kids out, and kids should be able to yell at the umps.

I think the Little League World Series should have kid umps, kid managers, too, kid managers, rock, kid announcers, yeah, why not? Have it just be kids every day, good. Uh, okay,

where do we want to go to next? Do we want to go to the golf, Hank?

Hank's gonna unmute. You want to go to golf? Yeah, we can watch.
Oh, you didn't see me. I always always had a wake.
No, I did not watch. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I did not.

There were multiple playoff holes, so I thought maybe you'd seen one of the playoff holes.

Tommy Fleetwood is, I think I love him now because

it's rare that we have just a good old bona fide, old-fashioned, bona fide choker. And that's all he is.
And he choked by going 69 Saturday, 69 Sunday. But that putt on 17.
But like, think about it.

We obviously in sports media will

say someone's a choker. Even, you know, Connor McDavis is choker.
He plays a team sport. Tommy Fleetwood seems like the nicest guy in the world, and he's just a choker.
That's just all he is.

He can't win the normal one. He can't win a one.
He can't win a one.

And I think it's better that Scheffler didn't chase him down and beat him because everyone thought that was what was going to happen over the course of the weekend. So I think

it's less sad for him that he didn't get just came back on by the best player in the world. Yeah, I saw someone had,

I wish I had saved the tweet, but someone was like, Scotty Scheffler stalking Tommy Fleetwood is like one of those fucked up National Geographic shows where the lion goes after the hurt antelope.

Yeah. And you just know how it's going to end.
Well, it was like, yeah, it was the lions going after the injured little Cape Buffalo. Yeah.

And then all the other buffalo came around to protect its child from the lions. They fought off the lions, and then the baby still died of its injuries.
And then one of the Buffaloes survived.

Do you think it's worse though? I guess it's probably better that Justin Rose is like one of his best friends. No, I think it's probably worse.
Yeah.

Give us the try my hardest. I just tried me hardest.
Just try me hardest. It's a very difficult hole.

Classy move by Tommy Fleetwood to do the media. Rory could learn something from him.
He definitely could. He did

during the playoff hole, which was gut-wrenching.

And yeah, I partly feel bad for him and partly just love the fact that we have just a choke guy. Let's see, what were his earnings this year?

So when I said poor Tommy Fleetwood, people were like, why would I feel bad for him? He makes millions. You can still have some compassion because he's a nice guy.
Yeah. And he is trying his hardest.

And it's clearly consuming him because that putt on 17 was as choke as choke could putt could get. Yep.

So his earnings this year, this is according to AI, so who knows if it's true or not, it says that he's earned $6.4 million in 16 tournaments this year. Yeah, that's pretty good.
So it's pretty good.

Golf is just such a funny sport because you can play, objectively, he plays very, he's a great golfer. Yeah.
He's an amazing golfer, one of the best in the world.

And just by not winning, you can still be making a fuckload of money. And the worst part is he's probably going to kick our teeth in in the Ryder Cup.
That would...

Because team, he does do well in the Ryder Cup when it's the team setup. Yeah.
This doesn't have to be a lone guy. Just trying me hardest.
I just tried me hardest out there. It's

very tough pin location today.

I mix it up. It goes to Australia real quick.

I just tried me hardest. So here in 34, I got him at 34.9 million, and last year was his second best year.
He got 28.9. Wait, he made 28.9 last year? Last year.
And then this year, 34.9.

That's what he made this year, Tommy Fleetwood? 34. You just said six.
He just said six.

Is that his career on? I'm sorry, cumulative. That's cumulative.
Yeah. I was going to say, holy shit.
I was like, I do not feel bad for him if he made 28. No, that's his cumulative earnings.

Actually, his best year was 2023, where he made 12 mil.

It's actually impressive.

I guess if we're going to spin zone for Tommy Fleetwood, he's going to be the richest golfer to never win anything. That's a great title to have, right? Yeah.
Yeah, but

he's won on the DP tour. Well, that doesn't count.

He's won the Ryder Cup. Okay, that's a team.

He's not one on the PGA tour.

No. What does the DP tour even stand for? Double penetration.
Is it the European Tour? It's European. But what does it stand for?

Dude, perfect. European.

Dan Patrick.

What do we think the DP World Tour stands for?

What does it say? It's got to stand for something. Does it not? It used to be the European Tour.
Now it's the DP Tour. Oh, is it just the sponsor?

I mean, I need an answer for this for sponsorship. All right, currently titled is a DP World Tour for sponsorship reasons.
So, what the fuck is DP? I see Dubai Ports, possibly. Dubai Ports?

Dubai Ports. That is a different.
Double penetration?

That's a different tour.

Displayed pictures.

Nope.

Okay.

DP Tour. What does the DP and DP Tour World Tour stand for? Do you think it doesn't stand for anything?

I think

this is a company, DP World. Oh, okay, here it is.
Oh, there we go.

So it's the D. Okay, so it's the DP World Tour.
Tour is the only thing that

Europe is putting into this equation. Yeah, you would think that it's World Tour as part of it, but it's not.
It's DP World. DP World, the Tour.
Multinational logistics. Wait, go back to that.

Logistics company based in Dubai.

Does anyone understand logistics?

I think logistics is solutions. Logical.
Okay.

Don't mess with my dots.

Was that Nextel? I think it's innovative solutions for a fast-paced world. Okay.

All right, so they move boats around and shit. Probably.

Logistics services. Oh, it's logistics services.
Not just logistics. Services.
Port services, marine services, free zones.

All right. Do we want to talk a little baseball? Let's talk some seam.
We should start with Mariano Rivera tearing his Achilles the Old Timers' Day game, which is so brutal.

That's a bad sign for the Yankees. Bad sign for the Yankees.
Very bad sign for the Yankees. And maybe not the biggest Yankees news to come out of this weekend.
No.

Are we going to talk about Aaron Boone getting ejected again? Oh, no.

No. Are we talking about the widest news? The widest news of the weekend.

Johnny Damon,

which

it is Max. I don't know what to say.
It is a shocking picture of Johnny Damon. It's a shocking, shocking picture of Johnny Damon.
The pinstripes do nothing.

I don't understand. He's got to keep the beard.

You can't shave the beard.

That's the Yankee rule, though. Not anymore.
Not anymore. I know, but when he joined the Yankees, he famously had to do that, trim everything up.

But now that they've relaxed that, Johnny needs to know that. Yeah.
Max,

how many did your phone just blow up?

I have never had more mentions for anything ever in my life. Like, the Super Bowl was

a fraction of the amount of mentions that I had when this Johnny Damon picture came up. It was never-ending.
It was 10 full hours yesterday of, like,

I had Twitter up on my phone, and it was just constantly refreshing of just people tagging me in it, thinking that I hadn't seen it. Yeah.

And then, obviously, when you face swap it, you didn't, memes didn't even need to, but the face swap was great because it is,

just you.

You're a Yankee. You're a Yankee today, Yankee.
I think he looks good, to be honest. Yeah? Yep.
Do you think he wakes up and thinks he looks good? Probably. Yeah, the

face swap. It's so good.
It really is. It's just you.
Really, all you did was just add eyebrows. Yeah.
Like fit your eyebrows to it.

No, it's Max. You put this in the YouTube.
Oh, my God. It was so funny.
It is the best baseball picture of the year. Picture of the year.
The best part was Max.

I saw it because shout out Hubbs, our co-worker who's a big Yankees guy.

The guy who took the picture, Chris Kirshner, who I think is the Yankees beat reporter, literally texted Hubbs and was like, I just took this picture and it looks exactly like Max. Oh, I did.

Jeez.

That's funny. I mean, yeah,

it's a shocking picture. So funny.
When I first looked at it, I mean, I think everyone had the same thought. When I first looked at it, I thought it was just a face swap.

Like, I thought that's, I thought this

had just done that. I was like, okay, here's another one.
Then I looked at it closely. I was like, holy shit, this isn't me.
Oh, man. Has Johnny addressed the picture yet? I don't think so.

I don't think Johnny has social media. Does he? Oh, yeah.
A guy like Johnny, definitely. He's a what was it? Was he? He was he had a DUI arrest video, right? He's a big-time DUI guy.

Yeah, just hanging out.

He has not addressed it on social media.

His picture on social on Twitter, X, the Everything app.

This does

keep happening. It's a different guy.

That's a different guy in that picture as opposed to this one. Yeah, I don't know.
It's just so fucking funny. He's got eight kids.

And by the way, the Yankees are as

the Yankees and the Mets are basically racing to the bottom right now. They both are,

since June 13th, the Mets are 18-31 and the Yankees are 20-31.

Pretty bad. Pretty bad times for baseball in New York.
And the Brewers never lose.

Oh,

that picture's from 20 years ago.

That's very funny.

Yeah, the Brewers literally never lose. And they got guys pulling fucking Charizard cards now, too.
It's crazy. Yeah, I saw that.

Explain the Charizard card to me, Zach. How valuable is that card? If it's

first generation, very valuable.

$100,000.

And Biz Mizurowski, he's the one that drew it. Yeah.
The rookie pitcher? Yeah. What are the odds of you getting that card in a pack?

It's incredibly incredibly slim, not only just because

the packs are made so long ago, also, like, guys are guys are resealing packs and selling them. So, like, you got to just hope you got an okay pack to begin with.

I went, I inquired about buying a pack because our good friend Nick Turani really wants a Charizard. So I was like, oh, that'd be funny if I got it before him.

A pack of 10 cards. Or, no, maybe eight cards? Eight in a pack? I believe so, yes.
Eight cards, PFT. How much do you think a pack of eight cards is?

And this is obviously no guarantee that you're getting the Charizard. I don't know how much the other non-Charizard cards are worth.
Like, what's a no, no, no. Like, to purchase the cards.

No, yeah, I know. So I'm trying to estimate how much that pack would be.
Like, if I just pull a random, like, a mid-Pokemon Zach.

What's like all the other cards that were in his pack? What are those words? But that doesn't matter. It's people just going for the Charizard.

I mean, some cards can just be worth like pennies on dollar. Yeah.
Okay.

So I'll guess like four grand? $8,000. $8,000.
$1,000 a card, and they can all mean nothing. That's crazy.
I was like, I can't. This is crazy.
Is that the best card? That is the best card.

Yeah, that's the Charizard. Not the Chase.
Not the Pikachu? No.

Why not? Isn't Pikachu the good guy? Pikachu's a great right-hand man, but Charizard's the chase. What about Charmander? Charmander, de-evolution of Charizard.
This is the baby Charizard.

He's in the family lineage. Okay.
Would that be a Charizard rookie card?

Would be a Charmander? It would be

like adolescent Charizard. like just earlier in life.

Less social season. Top prospectie season.
Top prospect card.

Because First Generation would be his rookie unveiling. There's other Charizards among the seasons.
Yeah.

Do they have First Edition? It would be the rookie, pretty much. I'm seeing one right now for $140,000.
Do they have autographed Charizard cards?

That I don't believe so. I don't think Charizard

autographed. No.
He was notorious for that. He said you should be asking teachers and firemen for autographs, not dinosaurs.
He knows his worth. He's like, I'm not doing this.

Also, just shout out Paul Skeens because he's insane. He has 194 ERA.

It's crazy. Seven and eight.
Yep.

It's fucked up. Yeah, I love the people that are pointing.
I like that win-loss is starting to come back a little bit. Yeah.

People would be like, dude, this guy, he's only got seven wins, and you think he's the best pitcher in baseball? I mean, yeah. Yeah.

I kind of like that. I kind of like how RBIs are coming back.

to do. RBIs are fun.
They are. It obviously means a lot about who's around you in the lineup, but it's still fun.

You're never going to get the RBI off the main line when somebody talks about a batter stats. That's there for life.
I don't care how meaningless you prove it to be.

If you're talking about like OPSX/that's never coming on that graphic at the bottom of the screen when it guy's up to bat. Agreed.
Agreed. Okay.
Should we do Who's Back of the Week?

That was some good ball talk. Great ball talk.
Everywhere.

Who's Back of the Week? Let's do who's back of the week. Give it up for Chicago.
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Okay,

who's back of the week? Hank, you got one for us?

My who's back of the week was going to be Johnny Damon, but also Joe Missoula is back. Oh, what'd he do?

Signed a multi-year extension. Back with the Celtics.
They should just give him a job for life, but he's at least back for the next few years. Do we know how many years?

Multi-years. Multi-years.
So through the rebuild.

Yep. That was smart to actually do that, being like, because you know it's not going to be good next year.

Yeah, the tweet from the Celtics said a multi-year extension. Okay, multi-year.
Good for him. That's a lot of years.
Or it could be only a few years. Could be, but it's more than one year.

Hopefully, it's a lot of years for him. Our good friend George.

Okay, good. Who's back, Hank?

Did you guys see Paul George at the club? I did not see Paul George at the club. Did you guys means you saw Paul George at the club? Can you pull it up?

You saw it, Hank? I did. Paul George's club? I saw him at the bank.
He looked good.

Well, he looked okay. Paul George is at the club.
He was a good fit. Paul George is waiting in line at the club, and if you zoom in, he's got the knee brace on.
Yeah, that's being responsible. Sixer.

That's being responsible.

If he's supposed to be wearing the knee,

that's a funny look.

It would be worse if he was at the club without the knee brace if he needs to be wearing the knee brace. Fact or fiction.

You got to admit, it's a funny picture. I'm so glad I saw this picture.
And it's a great fit.

Look at that fit.

Fire ass fit. You couldn't pull that fit off.
No, I couldn't. Oh, I could.
Great look. PFD.

I woke up like this. PFD could probably pull it off.

Okay, yeah, that's Paul George.

I mean, if he's wearing the knee brace, he doesn't give a fuck. He's just like, yeah, people are going to say whatever they do.
I'm injured. What do you want me to do?

Listen. I'd rather him wear that to the club than him not wear it to the club and walk out with an ACL.
But you could, there's a different, there's another path here.

Pants.

That's fair.

I thought you were going to say not going to the club. Oh, pants.
It was probably. Pants are real easy.
Yeah. Pants are super easy.
You know what he's trying to do?

Like, let's just normalize all athletes wearing double knee braces to the club all the time, like offensive linemen. Yeah, like maybe some shooting sleeves at the club.

Yeah, just in case somebody falls into you, you get rolled up on at the club, you're not going to hurt anything.

Okay, PFT, your who's back of the week. I got two who's backs.
First is MGK. Oh, MGK dropped an album on Friday.
It's good.

I hate how much I like MGK's music.

He does have some good songs. I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist.
I got into a fight with the Young'ins here recently because I said that MGK's got bangers, and they just said I was.

No, he objectively has bangers. Yeah.

He's got good songs. What's that face, Hank? What's up with that? Yeah, no, yeah, Hank's probably one of the haters.

We could get Rosa for him. His halftime performance at the Cavs game? That's pre-evolution of MGK.

It's not the current MGK. He was in the Chrysler.
And then killed MGK, and then he had to come back.

He's also like...

He just switched genres, and he's better at the other genre. Yeah.

Yeah.

He's

a pretty good pop-punk musician and songwriter. Like, actually, very good.
Yeah.

So, I've been listening to his album all weekend, and every time I, like, embarrass, I'm embarrassed by it, and I need to get over that. Oh, fuck.

I'll be rolling up to a stop sign, and I'm blasting the shit out of MGK, and then I, like, look around and I roll my windows up. I'm like, I can't.
But now, you know what? I'm out.

Gatekeeping music is the worst. I'm out.
I'm officially, I'm coming out. I'm an MGK fan.
We should actually do the Mount Rushmore of Worst Gatekeepers. Yeah.

Music gatekeepers are my least favorite because

music is the most subjective. Yeah.
You like what you like.

I like MGK. I'm proud to say it's

MGK Pride Month. I haven't listened to the new album.
You're going to have to give me a spark notes of which ones I should listen. Sing one of the songs, please.

Not live so boring. Pretty good.
Why they make it look so fucked up here in stories? Oh, there's a song, I want something

else to get me through this. It's actually the chorus of one of his songs.

And I was listening to it.

I was like, this motherfucker just

took a chorus from another song.

But, anyways, he's good. My other who's back of the week is Fatherhood.
Oh, yeah, I had it as well. Fatherhood's back.

For a while, Fatherhood was kind of a thing that people were afraid to talk about, much like being an MGK fan.

But on Thursday, Anna Lulis tweeted out: pro-life NFL legend Tim Tebow shares a video holding his baby girl while working, humanizing fatherhood. Get married, have kids.

And it's got 32 million impressions on it right now. First of all, referring to Tim Tebow as an NFL legend.
Great troll bait. Great troll bait.
Absolutely great troll bait.

But I never thought, like, okay, fathers are humans until I saw Tim Tebow, NFL legend, working while also holding his child. Yeah, it's.
And by working, I mean, he was looking at a laptop.

He was looking at his laptop. He was getting screen time.
He was looking at his laptop.

Of course, they're going to politicize Tim Tebow having a kid.

Is that politics? I don't know. Well, the whole have kids part.
Yeah, have kids, maybe. Yeah, but

it was just so funny because that baby is, I don't know, two months old. That's like the easiest time to like look after your kid.
They can't go anywhere. Yeah.
Yeah.

And I respect Tim Tebow for the fact that

he was like the poster child for virginity. Yeah.
And now he's the poster child for having sex. I've never seen a father hold their child and scroll their computer.
This guy's a dual threat.

It's crazy. It's crazy.

Okay.

My who's back. So I had fatherhood as well.
Tim Tebow, never been done. Yeah, look at this.
You guys were going to see this video and be like, that's it? That's all he's doing?

Yeah, he's holding his kids. He's bouncing his newborn baby

while clicking on a mouse. Well, not paying attention to his baby.
Yeah. But it's also that that baby does not need attention paid because they're a baby that just sleeps all day.

He's kind of carrying it like a loaf of bread. I'd like to see more security.
A little more head security. Yeah.

Okay. My who's back of the week is dumb bets because we're getting right close to college football season.
We got two of them, guys. We got two of them.
The first is

Paul Feinbaum. Paul Feinbaum said that if an SEC team doesn't win the national championship, he will leave the country.
Okay.

I think he's going to use a loophole here and just like leave for vacation after the season. Leave God's country? I don't know.
But that was what he said. So we got to hold him to it.
Yeah.

Listen, if you get mad at Paul Feinbaum at this point and you don't understand that you're just playing into the WWE act of Paul Feinbaum, the joke's on you, 100%.

If you're a Big Ten fan that's actually mad at Paul Feinbaum, be like, I fucking hate that guy. First of all, I love you because you're what makes sports fun.

College football sports. And continue to do that, please, for my own satisfaction.
But you've got to be smarter.

In the year 2025, to be able to fall for Paul Feinbaum's trap, it just, you've got to be better. Here's what Paul Feinbaum's going to do.

If Ohio State wins, if Oregon wins, Penn State wins, if someone else wins, Clemson.

Paul Feinbaum's going to take a picture from Italy in the end of January and be like, see, promises made, promises delivered.

I left the country. I'm on vacation.
I'm in Palermo. Yeah.
Paying my bet. Yeah.

All right. And the other one, this one, so

a Twitter account called The Raider Hub, Texas Tech fans said this is this is a great time of year because we talked about it with Justin Fields and how you get excited about preseason football.

So the Raider Hub said there's a legitimate possibility that Texas Tech could leave Salt Lake City 4-0 and be the number one ranked team in the country.

Talking about the upcoming season. And then it was quote tweeted by CFB Fight Club saying if Texas Tech is ranked number one at any point this season, I will shove a five-layer burrito up my ass.

So we have another five-layer burrito. I like it.
And then I was like, am I just

like, why do I even care about this guy? But guess what?

CFB Fight Club, you earned a follow because I went and clicked on your page and it says interactive place to talk all the trash you want on each other's school. Love that.

Year-round account dedicated to college football. It's like Yik Yak.
Yeah, it's Smoot. It's Smoot.
Yeah,

Smoot Talk. Smoot Talk.
So, yeah, he just talks shit about every college football team. I'm in on it.
That's good stuff.

Somebody reminded me a couple weeks ago of the fact that I said when Greg Schiano was announced as the head coach of Rutgers that if because he said we're going to be ranked number one at some point I said if Rutgers is ever ranked number one in football I will cut my penis off oh but I feel good about that bet actually.

Okay. I still think that that's one that I'm going to be on the winning side of.
It has to be with Greg Schiano. With Greg.
Yeah, yeah. I don't know how I phrased it.
I might be okay with just saying.

For the rest of the time. For until the day I die.
Because they did win the first national championship. They did.
And don't get me wrong.

Love Rutgers, James Gandolfini, great school, birthplace of college football. They invented the sport.
Yep. Piscataway is magical on a

Saturday in early September. Yep.
But I feel like my penis is safe. I would say so.
Yeah. But that's a good bet to at least have out there.

Okay.

Oh, I've got Who's Back as well. My Who's Back of the Week.
Oh, that reminded me.

Someone tweeted me there was a discussion that I said that if we ever wrote a book, I'd put a free Brazzer's password in the book. I will do that.
So that's another bet. Okay.

I will make sure that, you know what? I'm going to say 10 Brazzers passwords in the book that we sell.

Is that one per book or 10 in each book and

have to claim? First 10. Whoever gets the book first can get their free Brazzers password.

Okay, go ahead, Zach. My who's back of the week is going to be our coworker Michael Kadick because I've had a blast watching him traverse the Jersey Shore here recently.
Yes.

He's going tarps off. He's protecting chicken fingers.
I saw him in a drum line doing percussion bass drum at some point.

He's busting dance moves that aren't in the bag of most big guys. And

I just... I can't get enough of it.

He's all the way back. He's protecting chicken fingers.

Yes. His actual chicken fingers.
I love that. Yeah.
They might have been personal, but they were protected. That's what he does.

The video of him just farting

and the face he made. It was like

a two-year-old. It's pure joy.
Yeah, pure joy of like, oh my God, I just made that out of my butt. And he just had these girls sitting around watching.

Good who's back?

No video games.

Trying to broaden the horizons for you. What's happening in video games?

Battlefield 6 beta came out this weekend. Are you going to be part of this? It was pretty fun.

Crew that Sass and Mook and Jerry have? They're doing an awesome thing. They're starting a Challengers team.
So, like, Challengers is a step before you would have a professional Call of Duty team.

They're starting from the ground up on that. I wish them the best of luck in those endeavors.
That's such an awesome thing to try to accomplish.

Are they playing in it or are they just owning it? So they're starting the team looking for guys to play on the team. Okay.
You're going to start your own streaming. They're in an ownership

position on last week of August. Last week of August? We will be streaming.
Zach will be streaming. We might start with college football, and then we'll go off from there.
We can rip streams. Yeah.

I'm done rip streams. We can stream.

Okay. Good who's backs, everyone.
Let's do our Mount Rushmore and then we get to Travis Pestrana.

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Ready for the Mount Rushmore, guys? Yep. Mount Rushmore of things we are excited to do when we're old.

Who goes first? So the standings are 33, 33, 30.

It's anyone's game right now.

Too close. Surprisingly, Hank's Mountain Rushmore of Dream Blunt rotation did not finish in last.
So shout out Hank. Yeah, Hunter S.
Thompson, people didn't like that pick.

That was probably a bad pick by me. I would agree, though.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, who goes first?

I believe PFT and Hank. Okay.

And then we're second? You're second. Me and Max third.
We've been doing this the same order every day, every week this summer. Still got to ask.
Still confused.

Okay, so Hank, is this me or is this you?

Actually,

you guys are the same team. We're the same team, but I forget

who's taking the lead. I think it's me.
You got the rock, sir. Okay,

so 1-1.

Hank, do you think the second one on our list is good?

I don't want to screw up 1-1.

I don't know. That's a loaded question.

I think it's a good choice.

I trust you. I don't want to say yes to that.
Whatever you want to pick,

I'm down with.

Playing golf every day. Okay.

Playing golf every day. Okay.
I don't know why you even had any discussion. Yeah, what was the problem there?

It's a good pick. I don't know why Hank thought maybe not.
Yeah. Well, I just didn't want to, you know, it's obviously going to be my turn.
I said it. I said it.
Not even.

Yeah, no, no.

Listen, I've played golf every day since Tuesday. It's, it's kind of fun.

Yeah. It's a good thing to do.

Okay, R11.

Not have to work.

Not work. Not work.
Yep. What do you mean?

Yeah.

How do you play golf every day if you don't first not work? Well, that is a nice job.

No, that's what I'm saying. Like,

I'm ready for that. I feel like you love to work.
Well, no, I have, I went doing this exercise made me realize that I'm very excited to get like old, old. The thing about me is I love my job.
Yeah.

So I love working. But

you guys can't play that game when you're just picked playing golf every day because that would be not working.

No, no, I know. I could play golf every day tomorrow.
Right, but you'd have to first not work.

Right. That wouldn't be a problem for me.
I feel like it would be more of a transition for you. Got it.
Got it. That's what you're trying to say.
Yeah.

I mean, I'm talking about like in 2010, I'm not talking about tomorrow. We're talking about when we get old.
True. True.

You're talking about tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm old.

Okay.

I think those were the clear

first two picks there. Are you guys okay in there?

Yeah.

They tried to come at me for me and Zach for saying not work.

You guys had that.

Those were the clear one and two picks. You guys were having a little meeting in a dark room before this podcast.

Yeah, no, this is a thin rush. This is a tough one.

Oh, I just went deep. Enjoyed this one.

We enjoyed the hell out of this one.

I think this is a real tough one. Oh, I think it's wide open.

We are going to say

moving to good weather. Okay.
Take golf every day if weather's not nice. Okay, cool.

And we're going to follow that up with,

is this the right way to word this?

i don't know how

they're in a no this one this one this one we struggled with a lot okay is that the right way okay i don't know if that's the right way to say it okay

uh

what about that is that better

this is no i think it's i think it's just jesus christ i mean you guys

We are the only ones who don't do the.

I think I'm going to take four.

Yeah, because we're not. No, hold on.
I think like

12.

No, Max, do you think

I'm I just make the decision?

Who's on the pick? You think, yeah, you think maybe that's because you're the only team that sits next to each other? No, because I make just make the decision. We don't sit next to each other.

Hank is you're literally doing that by saying this one, this one. Hank is at a funeral.
I've had to try to text with him, and now we're communicating for the first time.

But, like, the first time ever that I fucking do anything. One person picks up.
You guys bitching out. Don't do that.
Okay. What are you talking about? Okay.
I lost your business.

Our system is one person has the ball. That's the whole system.
You fucking idiot.

Do you do the 215 18, 19, 24?

What?

You just say the 2, 6, 9, 12, 17, 17.

I think it's actually going to be 15. I said, you just.
You said do you want to do the second one on the list? I know. That's what you guys do every time.
This is the first time

that there was any delay.

We don't. No.
Me and Big Cat used to do that. This is a unique circumstance because I'm fucking home for a year.
I get that.

I think you forgot the funeral part. Yeah.
Okay. Whatever.
We're going to say.

Oh, no.

Saying whatever you want and not giving a fuck. That's what we're saying.
Okay.

Okay. It's a good pick.
Good pick. Do you think we could take four from that, off that, or no?

I think those are separate, right? Yeah. Because one is an...
One is an attitude, one's an act. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so what were your two picks?

It was moving to good weather and saying whatever you want, not giving a fuck. Got it.
Okay.

Or do we take two? I'm going to do this. She's great as well.
But do we just avoid the... Do we avoid possibly

being

avoid one being null and void by just taking two instead of taking four? Yeah, maybe.

Maybe. Okay, yeah, yeah.

We're going to take napping. Just napping all the time.
We just had sleep. Like, you can just wake up whenever you want.
You can nap whenever you want. That's a good pick.
Good pick.

So,

should we ask if that pick would have been even?

Do we take it? No, okay, all right. Yeah, we'll go napping.
We have something that's similar to what you said, but so I didn't know how it was going to get ruled.

It'll probably be honorable mention. I mean, memes turned to me after you said it and said, Can we say retire? And I was like, That's the same thing as not working.

You're not working.

My next pick is trying to get my handicap lower.

Okay, you guys have two. Okay, we're going to go with

traveling, traveling the world. Okay.
Going on lots of sick vacations whenever you want. I feel like traveling gets harder when you're older, though.
It's tough.

No, I'm not talking when you're like 95 years old. I'm talking you're like 65.
You guys. See,

this has to be

a good pick. Because you guys are old.

So this has to be

a little holy. Buddy.
If we're old, you're in trouble.

10 years younger. Yeah, but you're in trouble.
Correct. If we're old.
Correct. Because, like, we got to be holding.
You got to be doing the opposite to us that

we couldn't do this.

This is a wild objection.

Traveling the world when you're older. I have a 27-year-old on my team, and he did a great job.
That's what everyone does when they're like

so much more life to live.

He is an older soul for sure.

So much more life to live, guys. All of us.

Wow. Could you just throw him the big O at us? You're saying like

you can't get around? It's impossible to travel. No, it's a lot tougher.

It is tougher. It is tough.
I also don't like traveling. I like traveling.
Traveling's great. Checking off places on the bucket list.
I love that.

All right. Next up, we're going to go with never setting an alarm.

Okay.

Yeah, we have that. Yeah, not setting an alarm.
No alarms tomorrow. Going to bed.
Just let nature take its course. Okay.
We're going to go. We're going to go.
We're going to go off.

We're going to go off here for our last two picks.

Do you like Ten?

I love Ten, but what's Ten going to do to us? I think we got to just be ourselves. We're making ourselves laugh.
We would like to take,

as a third pick, light shoplifting. Light shoplifting.
Just a little bit of light shoplifting. Some of it.
When you're old, you can kind of just walk out with shit. Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah. Yeah.

And people aren't going to get mad at you. Like, you can't rob.
Yeah. But you can walk out with, you know, oh, I didn't know I put the

candy bar in there. Oh, yeah.
Oh, that drink. Oh, that soda that's in my pocket.
Whoops. I guess the days are just getting away from it.
Light shoplifting. Do you guys like that pic?

A little light shoplifting. I like that.

It wasn't on our list. It wasn't on our list.
I think this is where we went a different place than you guys. Well, people can get away with crimes for sure.
Yeah.

Okay.

We're going to go this one. This one we're excited about.

This one we're excited about. I'm excited excited that you're excited.
We're going to do becoming a regular at a restaurant. Okay, okay, yeah.
Get it on there, Carl.

Just like going to the same either breakfast spa or like

I diner. Yeah, going to the same diner and

they know your order. Just the same thing.
Like, that's going to be awesome.

There's like a really cute, like, 30-year-old waitress that's really sweet to you. That's like I'm excited for what Hank has.
Hey, Mr. Delaney.
Oh, hey, how are you doing? Hank.

I'm just curious what is stopping you from doing that now. Well, you can't.
You have to have to work. Work? It's work.

You don't go to restaurants? That's where you're going to be in the middle of the morning. You become a regular? You have a lot of free time.
No, I do not go to the same restaurant.

I don't have my every morning open to go to a diner every morning now. Well, no, you said restaurant.
Okay. Sure.
Restaurant.

Hank, would you say that? No, you said restaurant.

It's a restaurant and restaurant diner same thing. Yeah.
No, diner and restaurant. I know what you guys are saying.
Become a regular at a restaurant.

Hank, would you say it would be a stronger pick if it was diner?

Because you can't go to breakfast every morning when you're working.

I don't think we had it on our list. I feel like I go to the same restaurants and diners all the time now.
Are you a regular?

I'm not like regular, regular, but like. So you're kind of proving their point.
I had it on our list. I thought about doing just meeting people for breakfast.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to have a breakfast club. Yeah.
Just hanging out, dudes. You want to meet me for breakfast tomorrow? Okay.
And then have a cup of coffee, some waffles. And then going home and napping.
Yeah.

My grandparents went to the same diner for like 25 years and sat there for four hours every single day. That's awesome.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Okay.

And your last pick?

This one, this, I see, this one's kind of boring. But should we just say it? It is so boring, but

I might pivot. Pivot.
No, no, no, pivot. What's a pivot?

I think I might pivot. No, pivot.
Pivot. Pivot.
Have fun with it. Don't be boring.
Getting super into an old person's game. Okay.
Whether it's like

card games. Yeah, whether it's a card game,

shuffleboard, or bingo.

Just getting super into one game that you only play once you get old enough. Yep.
Padding.

I think we got to go with nine.

We got nine.

Yeah, nine is a pick. Yeah, yeah.

I agree. Handicapped parking.
Oh,

I can't wait to find the dude if I get older. Fuck, that's it.
Oh, we looked it up. We looked up the law.
It's if you can't walk unassisted 200 feet. So if you have like a

cane, walker

anything.

Dude,

those spots are so fucking good. That's a good one.
They're so good. Great spots.

I always pass it. I'm like, obviously don't want, I'm very thankful.
To be able. To be able.

But if you're old,

that's a good deal. I remember my grandfather had it.
It was a good deal. That's a very good pick.

That wasn't on our list. I wish that was on our list.
I got a little life hack for the people out there.

Get injured in college because having a handicap parking permit, a temporary one, on a college campus is the best fucking thing that's ever happened to me in my life. It was awesome.

You could just drive right up to your class like five minutes before and get out and just walk right in. Didn't have to worry about the big parking lots or anything like that.

If you have like a broken foot or a broken leg in college, that is actually the best thing you can do. Yeah.
Okay, your guys' last pick. Okay, our last pick.
Hank, do you have a recommendation?

Because if not, I've got one. I trust you, sir.
Okay. So you guys tapped out on picks in the the booth? No, we got

a lot of picks or just a lot of bad ones. We got a ton on the board.

I mean, don't do the Jesus one. That's a joke.

Well, at least say it.

Finding Jesus and devoting my life to him.

All right. I actually was kind of thinking, like,

I'm not a

God guy, but I do think when people get older, they become more religious. Yeah, because you think, like, I could

save myself. yeah, yeah.

Okay, so for our last one,

I'm going to go with

pretending not to hear someone you don't want to talk to,

regardless of who it is. Okay, if it's just a jerk that you don't like, if it's a police officer being like, hey, you can't park here.
What if you actually can't hear him? But yeah, you can do both.

Okay. Not being able to.
If you're getting older, you would definitely not be able to hear them.

Yeah, pretending, but you can get away with pretending not to hear people that you don't want to talk to. Yeah.
Okay.

I enjoyed that, Mount Rushmore. That was fun.
We had a lot of honorable mentions. I'm surprised spoiling grandkids didn't make it.
That's kind of boring. I had a list.
I asked my dad to do this.

He gave me an entire list. It was just roasting the podcast.
Yeah.

You want me to read them or do you want to? Yeah, you got it.

So from Hank's dad, dunking a basketball.

Learning Freebird.

Getting TSA pre-check.

Going to the dentist regularly. Actually, have it.

Don't. Yoga.

Living on one level. That would actually be be cool.
That was a good ranch house. Ranch houses.
Ranch house. Ranch house at the beach.
Dude, ranch house in the desert. Yep.
Ooh.

When your kids all come home to visit.

Getting rid of all your work clothes. Wearing Roeback all the time.

Not having to dye your hair. Feeling not bad about farting all the time.
I don't.

Good list from Mr. Yeah, that is a very good list.

The Roback one is solid because my dad loves the free Roeback I gave him. Did your dad also include when your kids remember your birthday?

He forgot that one.

The one we were going to do that I don't know if it was very similar to your second pick, but I'm excited for being able to flirt with every waitress.

Yeah, yeah.

It would have been different enough, I think. Yeah, but flirting with waitresses, calling everyone sweetie.
Yeah. It's pretty.
It's going to be fun. Where you get off-color jokes.

That's kind of what you guys are going for. Yeah, you can just say whatever you want.
Yeah. We probably should take the the senior discounts.
Yeah. We had senior discounts.

We had

Social Security was going to be our boring one.

Yeah, collecting, collecting social,

yeah, collecting social security. All forms of retirement.

Yeah, but that just feels like, yeah, whatever. All right, so Hank, do you want to hear why I am now comfortable with getting old after doing this? Exercise? Okay, here's what I have.

This is all of the things that made me, and some of them were already picked, like becoming a regular at a diner,

sitting on my porch, just sitting on my my porch. Don't sit on my porch.

Memes had it. Yep.
Day baseball, just going to everyday baseball.

Horse track. I knew you were going to say horse track.
Horse track all day, every day. I knew you were going to say horse track.
I'm ready to retire now that I've gone through this.

I'm going to become a big-time metal detector at the beach guy.

Big time.

Do you like that or not? No, I hate that. Okay.
That sounds like

that sounds like doing yard work. No, that's way better.
You're going to find shit.

Early dinner. I would love to do early dinner.

Early dinner is rock. You're done with dinner at like six o'clock.
That's so great.

Watching your enemies die.

I got some enemies that I wouldn't hate seeing die. That's a good one.
And like, the older you get, the better chance you have to watch them die.

I think more about friends, but yeah, no, I was trying to do the positives. Like, Jimmy Carter had to be pretty pumped and

enemies. Yeah.
I don't know what enemies do. I got a list of enemies.
Hopefully, you're not on it.

Getting multiple dogs. Yep.
Like, I think old people, that's like an old person thing to get, like, big dog, little, little dog, medium-sized dog. You just walk them around all day.

You just walk them around your neighborhood. You should have dogs.
Getting a bunch of dogs, a lot of land, maybe growing her crops.

I'm thinking about the farmhouse again.

What do you guys think about train sets? Nah, I'm out. I think I would love to be a train set guy.
No. That's a world I don't think you want to get into.
You might get shot like Bobby Bacola. Yeah.

I think train sets have potential. Yeah.
Or anything like

maybe woodwork too? What do you think?

Yeah, anything hands-on where like keeps your cognitive function going, but you're like, you're achieving a goal, but at the end of the day, it's like a train car. Yeah.

I thought of this one. This one probably is going to get poo-pooed.

I think I would maybe become a big puzzle guy. Like, big, not, not,

I'm, I love puzzles. I'm talking about the big puzzle.
It's just the one that takes up your whole room. Yeah, it just stays on the road.
You might have a puzzle right now.

Like walking by every morning and just putting one piece in. Yep.

That is like such a

if you sit down and it's like a really

like large number puzzle and you get one piece. Yes.
It's such a it's such a good sense of, you know,

I don't know, I'm struck. Accomplishment? Yes, that's what I was trying to find there.
Just walking by and being like, yep, all right, there's my puzzle for the day. Yeah, just developing new hobbies.

Yeah. Trying out new hobbies.
Yeah, but really the racetrack, day baseball, flirting with waitresses at the diner that I'm a regular at. That's pretty much.
I think you're talking about Pete Rose.

Yeah, pretty much. Become Pete Rose.
Cool with that. What else did you have to do? Getting in the Baseball Hall of Fame when you die? Yeah.

We had eating whatever you want because you're just going to die anyway.

Yeah, but that goes the other way where, like,

I feel like every old person, like, they want to...

They're trying to hold on. You got to hold on.
As hard as you can. Yeah, and also, as you get older, if you continue to eat poorly, then you just shit yourself.

Yeah, you have to like start watching what you eat because your body handles things better. Yeah, Max didn't like this pic, but retirement homes where you just fuck all the time.

Oh, yeah, if you're a dude in a retirement home, yeah, but the actual home itself seems bad.

Well, there's like some okay, I you retirement homes, no, retirement communities, yes, yeah, communities is what you want, where it's like standalone houses, but they're all like, like, you know, like-age people.

Or like assisted living doesn't sound fun, but a retirement community. Right.
Where you have like, it's like upscale, upscale condos, but you have like a common area with your restaurants.

Yeah, no, that's awesome. That's awesome.
Yeah, it's like a walkable little mini-city. Yeah.
Everybody's doing golf carts. Yeah, I was more cart communities.
I was just thinking happy going more.

Like in my head, I was like, that sounds bad. Golf carts is a big miss.
Getting everywhere in your golf cart. Yeah.

Yeah. Golf cart's so much fun.
Yeah. It might be the best part of golf.
Yeah. It's sitting at the docks.

Oh, going out there. Just sitting.
Yeah.

Just sitting a lot.

Like, just sitting around and just, yeah, you're just staring out at the ocean, staring out at your porch, playing cards, like I said. Bingo night,

shuffleboard. There's so many games.
I just want to get into an old person. I just want to

get really into a game. Rummy?

Rummy. Rummy's fantastic.
Rummy's great. Love Rummy.
Yeah.

What else did you have, Zach?

Having people drive you around. Yeah.
Never having to be like behind the wheel. Yeah.
Chaufred. Also, you're never the DD, so I get the functions.
You can just kind of... Get fucked up.
Yes. Yeah.

Other stuff that could be fun as an older person is

Wait. Nope.
Oh, never have to check your phone. Yeah.

You don't have to worry about any emails, text, phone calls. You're just you're communicating with who you got in front of you, and that's it.

The comically large text on your phones, you are at like 200 zoom. Yeah,

what about forgetting what day of the week it is?

That's got to be nice. That's kind of one of those things one big day.
You know, the whole like you, you basically are a baby, and then an old person is a baby.

That's like my kids never know what day of the week it is. Yeah, but if you're old, it's because you doesn't matter.
Yeah. I'm going to wake up.
I'm going to do what I want to do.

Every day is every day. Yeah.
Like, the diner thing is what I really just want. I just want to have breakfast the same place.
Do you you think that Saturdays actually suck for old people?

I'm not talking about college football Saturday, but like Saturdays in general, like all the restaurants.

Well, I'm just saying on a Saturday, all the restaurants are packed, way more traffic in places that normally don't have traffic. I would normally say yes, but sports start earlier.

Sports do start earlier on Saturday. Yeah, but I mean...
But yeah, like golf tea times are harder to get. Yeah, going to the movies.
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.
You could be right. It's like reverse weekends.
Yeah.

Or like when you have a

like, say you're at 75, 80, you got an older friend as well, been with you for a long time, maybe just like sitting down, hanging out, reminiscing a little bit, like old stories. Yeah.

That always looks like a blast. Yeah.

Just scoffing at kids.

You don't have to be cool. You can wear whatever you want.
Mismatched clothes. Yep.
Slippers everywhere.

When we were talking, we were like, we wear sweatpants every day. And we're like, well, that's what we do already.
Yeah. So that doesn't really play as well.
Yep.

Okay, that was good, Mount Rushmore.

It makes me look forward to being old a little bit. Yeah.
Hank, do you think I can retire now? That I've laid out my diner, nap,

horse track day baseball.

Light shoplift? No. Light shoplift? But no.
Why?

Because

you're still going to want to get off your takes.

Yeah, but I could just do it at the diner. What if PFC and I just have a standing date at the diner every morning and we make you come with the recorder? You produce it.

It's just not even recorded.

I think we're talking about a conversation. Oh, we so would do that too.
We're talking about a conversation. Just pay Max, Hank, and Memes to just come with us with the Zoom

and just be like, hey, you guys got to record this and put it out. Oh,

eating a little bit of dessert with every meal.

Like breakfast dessert. A little bite.
Lunch dessert. Oh, yeah.
Old people definitely get pie at breakfast. Yeah.
You know what? We'll do the pie. Yeah.

It's so true. Have you ever done this? This actually happened to me on Friday night.
Went out to a nice restaurant, wanted dessert.

They had as their special at the bottom, they had peaches and cream. Okay.
I was like, fuck, I haven't had peaches and cream maybe ever, but it sounds good. I ordered the peaches and cream,

and it was a salad. What? It was like cubed peaches, and the cream was like a

it was like a cheese, and then there was like a vinaigrette and spinach. on it.
I accidentally ordered a salad for my dessert, but it was at the bottom of the minute.

So you would think that being at the bottom,

that means dessert. I just had to sit there and I ate a salad for dessert on Friday.

Really got the weekend off to a bad start. That's terrible.
Yeah.

I'm still thinking about it. I woke up thinking about the dessert salad.
I had so much ice cream. By the way, I want to make a quick announcement because Zach is part of the cream team.

I have, much like Oppenheimer building the bomb, I got soft serve ice cream the other day. And actually, Max, Zach and Jacob did a great Viva TV video.

Go watch it now, where they tried out people for the cream team. Max tried out, and Max made a point that it's too soupy.

I went out and got ice cream this weekend, and it was eight layers of soft serve, and it was perfectly stood so firm and tall.

I told these guys they have to stop at nothing to get us to that point in our machine. So are you talking, what do you mean eight layers? Like, it was eight swirls.
So eight times 360 degrees.

And it was just, it was as like perfect. We can't.

What do you think we can get to? Four?

We can do four consistently. We can't touch eight right now in full transparency.

I told them, do anything you have to do, whether it's the temperature, the mix, whatever, because Zach's like, we might break the machine. I was like, you have to try.

I think it's more about the balance of the cone.

Like, you could design a piece of robotics that has like a gyroscope in it that keeps the cone perfectly level and moves it around in circles, and you might be able to get up to 10.

No, but the thickness of our ice cream is the problem. It's those bottom foundational layers to hold the other rows.

And our foundational layers, after like four and maybe like a half turn with the peak, they start to fade away quick.

You got to get a big cone. Max is the one who brought this up.

Yeah, the way I described it is: have you seen those TikToks where people will take soft serve ice cream and just throw it at their coworkers' face? We need to get to that point.

I don't know if you've seen these videos. It's a trend that was going on on TikTok for a while.
I missed that one. But they get

the way that they, it's like a baseball, and then it just sticks. Like, it doesn't drip at at all, even after it hits the person in the face.
And it's so thick that it travels so well.

There's no way that our cream would travel like that. Yeah.

We're going to need to get our cream to that point.

Since we're doing the Mount Rushmore things, we look forward to when we're old, and you called us old with a capital O. Yeah, no.
Well, that was in the lash out portion of the Rushmore. Okay.
Yeah.

Since we are old with a capital O, what's the 41 thing?

I know the 67. I do too.
I found out about that, but that's 41. I know that one.
I don't know the 41.

And then I went and looked it up. The 67 is a song.
Yeah. What's 41 for it? Oh, wait.
I thought the 67 was on the periodic table that it was like, ho.

But then there's also a song to it where Zach is a 6'7. 41.
41 is just Hoopify's version of 6'7. He just indocuples.
Oh, that's just Hoopify made it?

Yeah, him and a guy named.

There's a guy something dumb. I forget the first part of his name, but it's just instead of 6'7, it's 41.

Oh, 40. I hadn't learned this.
41. And then 6'7 is like this.
I know, 6'7. Did you see Brian Dable did it?

What does this mean when you go 6'7?

That I don't have for you. Hank?

41. I really thought it meant hoe.

They also sell like 6'7 water now. Like, they're getting the beverage.

I'm so lost right now.

I think I'm right. I think I'm right.
Hoe? Because 67 on the periodic table is

home? Is hoe is hoe. So in the song 67, they're talking hoes.

Back in our day when 69 was the only funny number, 69 and 420 was all you needed. 420 was great.

It's really sad.

Really sad where we've gotten to.

All right, let's get to our interview. We got Travis Pastrano.
Awesome interview. One of the coolest guys in the world.
And also, we taped this before Zach got his orange hat, so we didn't even know.

Only went up from there. But awesome interview.
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Explore what's new and what's next on The Drop by GNC. And now here's Travis Pestrana.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest. It is Grit Week presented by Hey Dude.
It's Travis Pastrana.

17 X Game medals. Is that right? I think you only count the golds.
Okay. So it's 11.
All right. No, I'm going to count all.
So 11 gold, 17 total. Right.
All right. So we're here on Grit Week.

We're in Pestrana land. It's insane here.
First question is always, what does the word grit mean to you?

For me, grit means it doesn't matter how sick you are, how hurt you are, how whatever's getting in your way, you get it done. Okay.

I think coming from you, that makes sense because I've been reading up

I guess I I guess to start at the beginning like you you started you were on a dirt bike when you were four years old is that right yep started racing yeah racing my whole family was kind of construction my dad was always riding dirt bikes so yeah it was that's insane

I think now though dude the kids if you don't start by four you're probably not making it to that professional level there's very few I mean yeah like McGrath and some of the guys back in the 90s that started riding BMX first but nowadays, like, it is, it's amazing how hard these kids work and how good they are.

It's that competitive. Coming along so progression is ridiculous.

Did you think when you were growing up that there was like a big future for you, like financially, professionally, like just going fast all the time?

No, as a kid, you never, I don't know, my reality never set in. Like, I feel like every kid wants to be a firefighter, astronaut, soccer player, football, whatever it is.

And I just, as I got older, my friends started having to figure out they're getting real jobs or they're getting hurt or they they didn't love what they do.

And I'm 41 years old, still making a living on kids' toys. I mean, it's freaking awesome.
It's pretty cool. This place is insane.
I mean, for, but we put out a video.

I think people will see the video before the interview, but you have 20 acres.

You have 20 acres yourself. You're saying it's 100 acres total.
There's a bunch of tracks. You took us out.
We did some jumps. I mean, it's, it's like dreamland.
Trusting me, by the way. Yeah.

No, it's good.

It's so this area we basically built, you know, from the time I signed, I won my first X X games, got a little bit of money, everything's gone into this land and it's a redneck paradise.

But it's, it's funny because everyone thinks this is like way in the middle of nowhere, but we're, you know, we're 16 miles from the D.C. Beltway and we're five miles from Annapolis.

So it's, it's really cool. And we got just all the people that live on this road are all either snap-on workers or they're military or

mechanics. Like if you need anything done or there's a zombie apocalypse, this is where you want to be.
I was thinking about that. Yeah.

So in case shit goes down, is it cool if we just crash here for a while? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
We got we got arsenals in most of the houses. There's the people are out back shooting all the time.

We do all, I mean, it's if

when I say redneck paradise, I mean, we can fix anything. We can build anything.
We jump anything. We crash everything.
We're always on bikes. We're always in cars.

And it's like for me, I don't think I've ever grown up. I think my wife is starting to realize that now.

Like she's, you know, she lived this life a lot, but she's like, all right, you know, now we moved about a, you know, about a mile away, so not too far, but just far enough to be like, all right, there has to be a separation from like, you know,

church and state.

This is where you go to have fun. Yeah.
That sort of thing. But I feel like this is where, how many hours a week do you spend out here?

So I'm not home a lot, to be perfectly honest. So we're probably, but when I'm home, I'm here.

And what's really cool about moving away was, you know, now I kind of come and it really feels like this is my, my job, if you will. And I can come in here.

And what's cool now is my kids are 10, 11 years old. They were just out running the Can Ams all morning and four wheelers.

They're not as big into the motorcycles, but I mean we got like the world's biggest trampoline out there they said all kind of yeah we saw that we saw that that scared the fuck out of me right right yeah has there has there been an idea because you have so many different jumps so many different parts of this property that you can go out and like just be creative fuck around with it has there been an idea that's been like too much where you've had to say i don't know about that one that one seems like it's a little too far well we're currently uh just purchased the world's largest outdoor wind tunnel.

So that might how big is it?

So it's second biggest in the world to Dubai, but it's the world's biggest outside. So it's you know it's like 25 feet in circumference.
So it's pretty big. Yeah.
But it's going to take four

like megawatts. I don't even know what a megawatt is, but it's like, I feel like we're going back to the future here.
So it's, I don't know if we can even afford to like power it.

So that might have been too big.

What are you going to do with it? Yeah. What are you going to do with it?

Dude, we got a catapult system coming. So the catapult, we're going to fly up and see if we can stop in the wind.
Like in mid-air. Like, yeah.
Suspend yourself.

Wonder if we we could like backflip dirt bikes over and like hi-fi the people. You know, we have so many ideas.
Yeah. It is limitless.

Wait, you, and you jumped out of an airplane without a parachute before, right? It's kind of pass or fail. It's my favorite kind of test.
Okay, so what was that? What, why did you decide to do that?

Have you ever seen. Did you have kids at the time? No.
Okay. All right.
Yeah. Before, pre-kids, pre-wife, let's see.

But yeah, so point break. I mean, Johnny, Utah did it.
I was like, you got to. So.

Kind of as a joke, it started out. And then I started skydiving.
I'm like, man, there's some really, really good skydivers.

skydivers i'm like we could probably drop an anvil out which would be me kind of like yeah yeah i'm all right i can get around on this guy but those guys are amazing so uh yeah we hired some guys that actually one of the guys that caught me was military because it was kind of not exactly legal to do uh so the pilot uh was 15 years old and didn't have a pilot's license there's a word for that by the way it's illegal

yeah i guess i could have stopped with that yeah anyway so i wouldn't recommend doing it but it was it was fun it was a good checklist i was i was young were you scared at all the scariest part was that when i jumped out of the plane in board shorts and my socks yeah and i kind of giggled and i thought this is like this feels normal and that's what scared me oh my god i was gonna say because like you're just reading about your like upbringing so so four years old you're on your you're you're racing competitively on on a motorbike how many hours a day were you on like a motorbike when you were five six seven so well so my whole family um was all either military or division one.

My uncle Alan was quarterback for Denver Broncos for two years. Like

I was the runt of my family for sure. And the only way that I could prove that I was tough, I mean, my granddad was called Club Boxer.
They were all like everyone was tough. Something, yeah.

Something. And I wasn't.
So what I realized was I'm extremely durable.

And when it came to like jumping off a bridges, a lot of bridges around here into water, like I didn't mind doing the most flips and I didn't mind getting hurt. I didn't even mind flopping.

And then, you know, we started kind of doing it with some of the other family guys that, like my cousin Greg, and we started filming stuff.

And all of a sudden, this was kind of pre-YouTube and everything. And it just kind of evolved from there.
Yeah. I was going to say, because you, I was also reading that you got diagnosed with ADHD.

Was that the easiest diagnosis ever? No, well, because they were just, the doctors were just like, yeah, this kid's riding motorbikes and jumping off bridges when he's four years old.

The irony on that was that, yes, I was diagnosed with ADHD.

But now when I, all the, like the testing that we do, so we've done just a bunch of stuff for head injuries, concussions, a lot of really cool stuff with like the Lattrelle brothers, Lone Survivor, Marcus and Morgan.

They've invited a couple of Nitro Circus guys as well as some of the NFL players down.

We paid for it, but just to go through their same concussion protocols and stuff and learned a lot

besides getting sidetracked and completely forgetting what we were talking about right now.

The coolest part about that.

Shit, what was the question?

The ADHD was the easiest diagnosis ever because you were riding motorbikes at four. Yeah, so so I do get easily distracted.
But

all of these tests, it was funny because I have, I'm in the top like 1% of attention, but only when most people's attention falls off. Yeah.
Like, I don't know.

I just kind of get fixated on something. If you really care about something, when your life is on the line.
You're focused on it.

So, yeah, when adrenaline kicks in, like when most people's brains kind of go the other way, like that's when, that's my happy spot. Yeah.
Yeah. That's shit.
I mean, that's pretty incredible stuff.

So, yeah. So you come up, you start riding competitively, and then you get your first X Games medal, you put everything into this place.
And then

when you first got the spot and you got the bulldozer, you said the, what, the yellow truck and the bulldozer were the first things that you got here? Yep.

So I kind of did it a little bit backwards from most people, but mind you, my dad is like, hey, your uncle Alan might have been the greatest athlete that's ever come out of Annapolis, and he's still working construction in the summers, and he's teaching senior citizen health and coaching lacrosse at the community college.

He's like, you're never going to make a living doing what you love, but any day that you can wake up and do what you love, it's worth everything.

So my whole goal was basically, hey, look, this isn't going to last forever. So I'm going to wake up with that passion and we're going to go out.
And I've, to this day, always treated sport as

like just and I switched a lot of times when turn down a paycheck for a motocross to go do freestyle turn down freestyle to go do rally go spend all your money trying to turn left not very good at NASCAR.

Yeah, but you know, it's it's like what do you wake up and what drives you kind of thing? Yeah. And what's really cool about that is just

I've always been kind of just all in for everything. And it's, it's led me to here, although we spent most of our money like just investing back in the sport, building ramps, doing stupid stuff.

So it was never about like a vision that you had for this place. It was like wake up every day, follow your passion, and then it just kind of grew naturally every step of the way.
100%.

And it's, it's amazing. Like around here, you know, it takes a village, and we have a very eclectic group.

You know, welders, ramp builders, we've got construction guys. We've got just about anything that you could imagine.

And everyone, you know, filmers, editors, and we've just got this group of friends now. And it's so cool.
And the YouTube stuff, I always thought YouTubers were just stupid.

I was like, this is not you guys. You guys are awesome.
We're not really YouTubers.

Now I realize that it's allowing me at 41 years old. I'm still driving cars.
I'm still having fun.

And like, you get a company like Black Rifle and they're like, hey, dude, all we care about is let's bring some veterans and first responders. Let's make people's day.

Let's bring some guys from Walter Reed that have had some really crappy times, you know, fighting for our freedoms.

And we bring them over here and we just have a freaking blast and we have a platform to be able to do it with. Yeah, I mean, you could tell there's like a community here.

You have like guys all hanging out. You said it's like, I mean, there's the over there, there's, you know, bunk beds and guys are sleeping here before X Games.

How many people are here like before X Games training?

Because this feels like ground zero for x games so if you're and now a scooter's coming in as well but like so nitro circus um you know we kind of started this basically where we started building bigger and bigger ramps and now x games is actually starting to adapt a lot of the stuff but you know with um olympics and everything with bmx and all that stuff so we are the big air of action sports right so if you want to do something huge you want a new ramp built you want to just test some designs.

We have everything from foam pits to airbags. We designed all the landing bags that now pretty much every Olympic training facility has in every country.

It's pretty cool to be on that kind of front edge. I never thought I'd be the safety guy.
Yeah. But it's like, okay, we want to go 100 feet above ground level and do three backflips.

How do we survive? Wait, so are you saying that there is, there's like anyone could come up here and be like, hey, Travis, I'm training for this. I want to build this ramp.

There's no ramp too big that you would be like, no way, we can't do it.

There's, there's ability level. Like, so everyone's like, hey, make sure you you wear all your safety gear.
Yes, 100%.

But there's certain people that you could dress as the Michelin man and you're like,

this is a bad idea. I don't care what you're wearing.
There's certain people that, you know, you can go out there and like, oh, he was, I mean, not that you do. He was riding without a helmet.

I'm like, if he's riding around, like, so it's.

It's finding the people that are qualified for what they're doing. And you get them around other people that are very qualified at what they do.

And you kind of come together with this, this eclectic group of mad scientists, ADHD, random, complete, like, hey, we tried this and this happened. We tried that and that happened.

What if we do this, this, and this? And when you get everyone together, some amazing things happen. Yeah.

And but my, my, my greater point is it seems like in this world that you have created, this land you've created, Pastrana land, like no is not the answer. It's all right, let's figure it out.

You know, like, let's do it safely, but you're not like, ah, no, we can't do that, which is such a cool ethos to have around here where everyone's like, no, let's figure it out.

So one of the next things that we're doing, it was really funny. My buddy was at the bar.
He was just telling some random story about what he does.

And he's like, oh, yeah, we're freestyle tractor drivers. And he goes to me.
He's like, hey, have Nate, Nate Wessel, who's like kind of our main ramp guy.

He's like, have him sketch something up for me real quick. So now this is, we're in Utah.
It's, I don't know, 11 o'clock at night.

It's, you know, one o'clock in the morning back here on the East Coast. Nate wakes up, puts together a sketch, little program.
Sends it back over.

We completely forgot we had even said it, but an hour later, we got a sketch.

Now we're actually going to backflip a tractor because the sketch was so good i was looking at it i'm going over this i'm like yeah no's not an answer this this will work yeah so it's it's you just got to be careful what you ask for because you know at the beginning i'd be like hey i want to do this everyone's like yeah yeah now i'm like hey i want to do this and i have overwhelming support right so it's like

i need someone to be like a check you know yeah you need someone to be like hey maybe a bad idea i heard that there was a dude that came up here one time and he said i've got a mind-blowing trick that no one's ever thought of and then you were like, Well, okay, what's the trick?

And he's like, You got to pay me for the trick. Does that work? That's a great business model if it does work.

If you would just like come up with an idea and be like, Travis Pastrano will pay me for my brain.

I guarantee you that if it's possible, like if there's an idea out there, there's no way that someone hasn't had it before, and there's a reason that it's not being done. Right.

They're the best in the world from like in action sports and the brains that come together. So, what was really interesting, we had a guy fly over from Europe.

He was trying to on Instagram and on everything, he's hitting everybody up. He ends up eventually getting onto the radio station here, like

98 Rock. And they get all, they're like, hey, this guy flew in.
He wants to go to Pastranoland. The guy shows up, my mom's house, knocks on the door.
So my mom's like, oh, he's, he's got this trick.

He wants to try. I was like, well, bring him over.
So I flew in. We set him all up.
We had everything that we wanted. He's like, oh, it's going to be so easy.

He's like, I want the automatic front flip ramp. We're like, there it is, Haas.
He's like, that's that's just a curb at the top of a ramp.

I'm like, he's like, that looks like something I built in my backyard. I'm like, we did build it.
Yeah, right. This is our backyard.

So he didn't do it. But that's the,

he tried. Everyone's like, oh, 98 rock.
Yeah, how'd it go? I'm like, well, he almost got a front flip around. Yeah.
Like, I thought he was going to do. I'm like, yeah, he did too.

I would just say, like, take any trick that you already do, but then light yourself on fire while you do it. Yeah.
That's like the next level up for everything, right?

If you have to light yourself on fire, the trick's not cool enough to start with. Okay.
In my opinion. It's a fair point.

What's the trick that eluded you for the longest amount of time that you then hit?

So

there was a trick. It's a backflip with a full twist.
So pretty simple. Backflipping and then twisting.
You do a 360 and a backflip at the same time. Okay.
Now,

on a bicycle, it's pretty cool. Ridiculous.
Yeah. Yeah.
So. Still to the day, I'm the only person that's ever landed that and it was too mulch pile.

It doesn't even really count and I broke my foot in the process.

It's just, so the motorcycle does, first, if you pull as hard as you can backwards, you get a full flip to every half twist okay so one of my snowboard buddies he goes hey that looks like the start of a double cork 10.

i'm like what he's like you just got to go twice as high and twice as far do the exact same thing you're doing and he goes it'll come right around so we started doing it on bicycles became the first one to do it i was the first one to land that trick a double back flip with a full twist on a on a mountain bike and then the first person to land only person still to land on a dirt bike but the takeoff ramp had to be 35 foot tall

so like so he was right it was Trevor Jacob. He went to, he ended up Olympian snowboarder, but it was, it's cool, like that mind.
He's like, well, you can't do this with that motorcycle.

It weighs too much to get the spin and you get the gyro. But he goes, just

keep going. Just go bigger.

Add another flip. It'll be easier.
And he was so right. I also love the rules that you have written downstairs.
There were two of them that jumped out to me. Yeah.
And the rules are just, they're in.

either pencil or sharpie. They're on like a piece of particle board down there.
And I think there's seven rules. One of them was don't break stuff, but if you do, have it be on camera.
No, no.

If you get it on camera,

I'll pay for it. Yeah.
No problem. You kind of get the same thing.
That's a great rule. It's a great rule.
And I mean, to pay, hopefully not like, you know,

something too expensive. But you want it to be worth it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then my, I think by far my favorite rule was no sex in the phone pit.

And that seemed like a rule that might have been put in there because somebody did have sex in the phone pit one time.

Well.

So let's just say someone left something used

in there. All right.
And And it wasn't me, but someone was upside down in the phone. And they just saw it.
And it was just right there and you're stuck and you can't move it. Oh, no.

And it was like, all right, look, we got to draw a line somewhere, guys. No sex in the phone.

So when you were starting out, you won your first

gold at 15, right?

Yeah, 1999, right? Yes, very good.

But you also broke your spine when you were 15 years old. What the heck?

How did you not quit? Like,

your spine, I was listening to an interview. You said your spine basically came out of your asshole.
For

medically,

yes, that's about what happened. That seems like that hurts.
That seems like you should just chill out after you. You have

your pelvis connects to your spine

like this. And it just, so the spine went straight down.
Yeah. Jesus.

So it shattered my pelvis. I was the third known case not to basically bleed out after having both SI joints dislocated.
Holy fuck. Woke up, you know, basically.

didn't get knocked out, but I kept passing out. So it was good for me because it was my 15th birthday and I realized that I could only take so much pain.
So

I have experienced as much pain as my mind will allow me to take, and I'm still here.

And it was at 15 years old. Yeah.
Well, I mean, I guess if you're tougher, you can probably experience more pain.

But my level of threshold. So shitting out your spine is a pretty big amount of pain.
Right. Yeah.

So every time I'd wake up, because they couldn't really figure out, they just thought it was shattered pelvis, but the spine was kind of in place when I was laying on the backboard.

But every time they tried to move me, it wasn't all the ligaments and stuff weren't.

Everything everything that was attached wasn't attached. So I just kept, every time I move, I pass out, move, pass out.

Hard moment for my mom, but right there was the moment that she always had my back. But from, you know, she's basically crying.

I, you know, wake up, come out of surgery, everything's kind of fused in a wheelchair for the next couple of months. And I'm like, man, I hope they keep that jump.
I want to do it again.

And she just, she was crying, but she started laughing. She's like, all right, the most pain you've ever been in.
You're lucky to be alive, almost bled out, six blood transfusions.

And you're still, the first thing that you think of is not, will will i be able to walk again but when can i get back on the bike do that jump and she kind of laughs she's like all right so you really love this yeah you're just built different like most people would would run away from that pain you're like i want to conquer did you go back and conquer that jump no they took the jump down oh thank god i really want to do it anyway

wait so how how much blood did you lose um so they said i lost a third of my blood volume over um you know a couple days holy fuck man and i know you've had a bunch of injuries almost to like every part of your body are you getting so so like used to being hurt that you can tell exactly what's wrong like that's an ACL like immediately

so well it's good I didn't have AC or PCL for about 15 years and then I got a knee replacement so that kind of makes sense but so I landed I was doing a base jump for the start of this Jim Conner video we were doing and I should have just I went I'm not a great base jumper I'm not a great canopy flyer but it was kind of a layup I feel like there's only two kinds of base jumpers right the good and then you know alive and dead yeah yeah so I hit that middle ground a couple times

yeah so this one I was I kind of hooked turned it in a little bit too low I was trying to land next to my car I should have just gone downwind but I was trying to be cool I was like I don't know if I get to jump out of this hotel again because we got the car all set up like everything's there and I hooked turned it in and I landed and my dad always said hey get up because it always feels like you're broken but you don't know until you got I got up and I felt everything like I my whole everything crumbled my pelvis just so I hit the ground and my stomach started getting super warm and I had felt that before from the other time we were just talking about.

And I was like, oh, I'm bleeding out. So the medic came over and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine.
But I shattered my pelvis and I'm bleeding out. And they kind of laughed.

And I was like, no, no, no, like, I'm good. So I called my wife on the way because she didn't know I was base jump.
I forgot to mention it. She really not a huge fan of base jumping.

And I was like, yeah, so no big deal. You know, I shattered my pelvis and the person's like, the doctors will tell you what you did.

So it was funny because when I woke up after like two surgeries later and had everything like basically fused back together and and had a

the worst part was the torn urethra

not not not ideal

but long story long on this one so the lady came back in the the emt or whatever that was there she goes you were right you shattered your pelvis um you you were bleeding out had five blood diagnosis

but she goes you also got your tailbone from top to bottom and you broke your back and you tore your urethra so i was like well so i missed a couple yeah

i mean but yeah in your defense like in a moment like that you're you're probably only feeling the part of your body that's that's in the most pain, right?

So not to get off on another tangent, but I like tangents. Yeah.

That's what a podcast is for. My kid, during COVID, was

six years old, and she was riding a sled down the stairs, as you would. And

the sled turned, she caught her foot on the way down, like basically face plan at the bottom and grabbed her foot right away. I was like, ah, she broke her foot.

And my wife was kind of, she's like, no, she landed on her head. I'm like, if you land on your head and you grab any other part of your body Yeah, that's the part

you only feel you know, you only feel what's broken or what's the worst. Yeah.
Yeah. Wait, when was that?

How old were you? No, no, the

pelvis again. So that was yeah, so that was two years ago, almost three years ago now.
And what was the rehab like? So that was the first time. So I had basically a tube in my bladder

for being for lack of better. So I was back in a race car in six weeks after that and still still had some issues.

But that was the first time in my life that I realized I was getting old because instead of thinking I got to win, I was thinking, don't hit anything.

And then

I got a new knee. I got a new hip, stem cells in the shoulder, started on just some peptides that just helped with some tennis elbow.
Like I was at rock bottom. I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't.

I couldn't compete to the level I wanted to because all I was thinking about was just not getting hurt. And I feel like when you're hurt, it's the hardest time.

And it's, I took the last year to really get myself, I, I still, you know, I eat too much, I drink too much, I don't work out probably enough, but I'm able to get to the gym every single day, able to get things moving.

I'm able to sleep through the night and not to be that guy, but dude, when you can't, when you're hurt too much to sleep through the night and you're hurt too much to actually work out, like life changes.

not only not competitive, but just like mood and everything. Like I need to be active.
I need to be pushing myself. I need to be out there.

And it's, it was, you know, know everyone says how do you do it and my you know my uncle was playing for denver he said look the day you stop moving is the day you die yeah so how are you feeling right now like walking around day to day um i feel the the knee replacement it's it's not a perfect knee like it's you still notice it but i can sleep through the night doesn't ache or anything stupid uh the the hip dude best surgery six weeks after getting hip replacement i was back i was doing backlists on dirt bikes yes they've really uh mastered that where you can walk out of the hospital you did get hip replacement well and the knee knee too, but the knee just, the pain on that one was

bad for me.

How cool is it to know, like, you, because you were talking at the beginning, like your dad telling you, like, hey, you can do this, but you might always end up back in construction.

And like, you know, this might not be a life that you can make a lot of money, but you actually did make a lot of money and you were also like the start of it.

Is that cool to be like, X Games didn't exist for 10-year-old Travis, right? And then you almost are at the beginning of all of that and that wave. Do you feel like pride in how it's all come along?

Because you're a pioneer, really. No, I mean, it's been fun.

And, you know, everyone, there's a lot of different ways to look at it, but I was just very fortunate to be this kid, to still feel like this kid that's living my dream, that gets to go out every day and think of fun things to do with my friends.

And it just gets the cars get faster, the jumps get bigger.

But at the same, it's basically just playing in the sandbox when you're like little, you know, little toy cars trying to jump them, except you're now in the cars. Yeah.
Freaking awesome. Yeah.

Is there a stunt or a trick that you've done that has brought you the most joy, like the biggest rush?

I think,

so I was already, I was well over my career and I really wanted to do that trick, though, so that unicorn trick.

It was the backflip 360 and then it got in my head for like four years and I started working on mountain bikes and everything. And now this is, so we're in my backyard.

I've spent, so Nitro Circus, they're like, here's the budget, what we think we can do on this. Basically, we're just, you know, DVD for lack of, it's, you know, we can make $400,000 on this.

That's if it's good, if it's bad, like, it's going to be like, that's just our audience. Yeah.

So I spent $1.2 million building ramps for my buddy Sheehan to do a triple backflip, for another guy to do a quadruple backflip on a BMX bike. And I just, I just wanted to see this.

I wanted to see progression with stuff that we had been talking about for a while. So we spent two years.
And then that ramp where Sheehan was doing the triple backflip. I'm like, that's enough air.

That's it.

I can do it. So we did all of our filming, got everyone else done.
And it's just about the end of the, like it's sun setting, already tired, already exhausted. And the ramp was set up.

And I was like, it's never going to be a more perfect time. And I go out there and my wife's just shaking her head.
She's like, look, you literally are paying. to hurt yourself.
Yeah.

There's, there's 15 of us here. No one wants you to do this.
There's not one good reason. There's not one financial, like you're old.

Just, and i just i remember so i i i hate telling the story but it's just been out there so i'm gonna tell it again so the first time so i tried it and i kind of bailed out halfway through i got lost i got scared

twisties i got the twisties that thing i mean i my

yeah yeah on that there's three steps you got to take and on step two i said oh

and forgot step three completely honestly i'm way too high yeah so so i landed and i didn't knock myself out but somehow when i opened i just closed my eyes for a second when i opened them someone had shit in my pants

and and all my friends were right there

and my wife is shaking her head she's like are you done now can we just can you go home and I'm like nope I got to do it she's like well you're gonna go change I'm like if I go up there to change I I'm getting that hot tub and I'm never doing this trick yeah so I ended up uh I crashed two more times on that and I was able to not somehow not break myself off in that the snowboarder Trevor Jacob he goes everyone else like it won't work it won't work it won't work and Trevor goes it'll work, but you have to go no look.

He goes, you keep trying to spot your landing halfway through. You're stopping everything.
He goes, it's a 250-pound machine. You got gyro.
You got everything. He goes, go blind the whole time.

He goes, if you're not willing to do that, like, just stop now. And I came down.
I've never like come at a ramp before and gone around it. I went around it like four times.
Yeah.

Whole pant full of poop. Just like,

like, everyone just like, don't do it. And you're, so those are those moments that you're like, okay,

why do I ride a dirt bike? Do I ride a dirt bike to get paid? Do I ride a dirt bike for fame or pride? Or do I ride to see if I have what it takes to do what I believe can be done?

And that was a moment that was really cool for me. You landed it with shit in your pants.
Yeah. And then you broke it.
And you broke your leg on the last one or no? No, no.

No, no, that one you're good. No, no, that was the tried without the second one.
Got it. Got it.
Got it. That's so sick.
Yeah. Sorry.
No, I mean, that's a pretty short story. Oh, no.

It's a great story. I've never heard it before.
Okay, good. Yeah.
Yeah, so it was good. Yeah, that's, I mean, and to do it, like, like, I don't know, you're just a badass, dude.
I actually saw,

I saw, I was watching a YouTube video of Bastrona Land the other day, and I saw a comment that I got to read to you that I thought was so perfect.

Travis Bastrana, the most well-adjusted, insane person out there. Feel like that sums you up perfectly.
I like it. You're a well-adjusted insane person.
Yeah, yeah. I just saw the comment.

I was like, that pretty much sums them up.

Yeah, so my all-time hero, Matt Hoffman, like this is a guy before there was any money, before any first one to do a 900, He, he tore his, like, blew out his knee, and he needed to be ready because he had like a video game deal and everything.

He was retired at the time, coming back out, and he wanted to do a no-handed 900. He's like, this is the last chance I have.
So, he goes up to Canada.

He does full ACL, like they hook all this stuff together. No anesthesia because he couldn't legally do that procedure or whatever.

Somehow, bylaws getting around it. He competes.
like five days after getting his whole knee redone.

He does it, lands a no-handed 900 in comp didn't win. He got second to Mira.
But like this guy, and so we were out base jumping one day and everyone else is getting close to the edge.

And he's like, no, I got to have my rig on first. I'm like, you afraid of heights? He's like, no, I'm just afraid I'm going to jump.

I was like, wow. Yeah.
That's, yeah. Yeah.

The calling of the void, right? You see that out there. I might as well go leap.
That's insane, though, that he had, he had surgery with no anesthesia in his body. Like, that's Civil War shit.

Like, here's a stick you can. He goes, yeah, he goes, I wouldn't do it again.

But so for some reason, the law was if you get, you can't get put under for any of these procedures, but there was nothing that said you couldn't because no one's well that tough.

Yeah, right, it's not right.

So, what's next for you guys here? What are you working on right now?

Um, honestly, I've just, I'm home about two to three days a week, um, which you know, it's good. When I'm home, I can be home.

I can be with family, but a lot of that time we're still, you know, we're still doing stuff or we're building up for whatever's coming. My goal is to kind of cut down on the sponsor.

I still love race and rally. I need that competitive spirit.
I need to see who's the best. And when I don't have that,

I take that in different directions. I become competitive with my wife, and that's not a good thing to do.
So, you know, we stay in our own lane. She's action sports too.

But, you know, she's got the she-shed on top of the hill. I got the man cave on the bottom of the hill, and we can kind of come together in the evenings.
It's a fucking awesome place.

What do the neighbors think of this place? Most of the neighbors are part of it. Like, you've seen just about everyone, like Danger and all the guys.
Like, they're all. Yeah, by the way,

you glossed over that there's a guy in pastrana land who walked by us and travis is like what's up danger and i was like how do you get that nickname here like he's got to be the most badass guy out here so as short of story as i can make um i didn't i'm kind of a no-new friends guy like i've got all my like i travel when i come home i'm a homebody we just we get to work here work play whatever you call it um and my wife you know she likes to socialize and kids are getting in school and stuff and a guy a couple doors down we hadn't met, he's across the road, so not our property that we really need.

He had five kids, a couple of them our daughter's age. His wife, they had goats and chickens, you know, fresh eggs, all this stuff.
And we go, we call, we go quad riding.

And now once a year, like we get the group together and we're going to go until the sun comes up. And there may be beverages involved.

And it's, you don't want to take people that aren't really, really good at what they do and put them into this environment. My wife's like, oh, just take Jason.
No, he would love to go.

He could really use it now. I'm like,

so we put

Caleb Moore, who's X Games gold medalist, in the pasture seat. So he brings his Ranger down.

And so I just, first hill, I'm like, I'm just going to lose this guy real quick and just drop off a cliff. He gets stuck on the cliff.
It's teeter-totter. He's like, hey, guys.

And he had a handle of water that he was also drinking. And so a couple of the guys pushed his Ranger.

off the cliff goes down the thing hits the stream at the bottom i thought he was going to hit the brace gets stuck in the stream hits the stream, jumps up, front end comes up, hits a tree.

Hubert, you met today. Yeah, yeah.
The tree comes down, knocks Hubert off his forewheel. He's like, I didn't spill.

I was like, dude, Danger Ranger was what made that thing a friend ever. That's danger.
That's danger. You guys ever think about getting a plane out here and just doing like plane jumping and shit?

That might be next up. I don't, we got too many trees.
You got a lot of trees. There's a lot of trees.
When we were jumping those cars, a lot of trees. Natural enemy of planes.

Yeah, trees. All right.
I got a couple last questions for you. This has been awesome and so thankful that you let us come.

Thanks for coming. Thanks for trusting me.
Thanks for having us.

How sick are the jackass guys? Dude, so much fun, but we had to make a rule when we were around them that if you come up with an idea, you have to be willing to do it first. Yep.
That's a good rule.

So we were all hurt. We were at the end of season one.
Johnny Knoxville, dude, just whenever someone on our crew gets hurt, he's the first one to call.

Like he's like, dude, dude, good, good human being.

But yeah, so he's on and he's like hey, we need to finish up this final episode I'm like dude We're like we're broken He's like well we can take like three or four days I'm like three or four like we're broken.

He goes all right. We're gonna get a bull

I'm like no like we're broken. He goes yeah, you don't have to do any with the pull.

I was like well, he's like yeah. I'm like Johnny if the ball hits us we get hit by the bull if it doesn't hit us we can't use the footage.
He goes yeah win win

here we go and we were too afraid afraid to get out of there jolene tried to go and she got she ended up with a broken hip from a buttercup yeah yeah yeah um they were riding tandem on it and the bull and the rider both fell on on jolene she did she did good she's tough so then it was just knoxville so he goes out there he's the guys were like hey this bull if you run as fast as you can it always it doesn't hook you it'll go straight so when you feel something you go put your hand behind your butt when you feel it hit you lean back knoxville got he went two stories in the air he had no no air awareness at all.

If he did, he would have, he would have landed on his feet in prior. He landed on his feet and then his face and then the ball came back after him.
But it was great footage. Yeah.
Win-win, Johnny.

Those guys, I mean, I've respected that about him. He always seems like he does the most dangerous stunts in the jackass.

So Knoxville knows what needs to happen for the clip to be successful. He's extremely intelligent and he'll sit on the sidelines until he realizes that the skit needs something else.

And it's scary because it might be bees. Yeah.
It might be a bear. It might be a paintball gunze.
You never know what is going to, like, I've never experienced more pain.

So first time we met Knoxville, it was a tribute to Evil Knievel.

Knoxville's a huge Evil Knievel fan. He's like, I want to do a backflip.
I'm like, all right, blah, blah, blah. Just don't.
Don't let the bike go in the air.

And that's what we're going to find out later if you guys want to try that. Yeah.
So I was like, the bike can come back and hit you.

Well, Knoxville, we had to jump, push start him because he didn't know how to use a clutch. No, I'm not playing like the world's worst bike rider.

So second gear pinned, he hits the takeoff, blows off the back of the bike, bike goes straight up, lands on his back. He's okay, but the bike comes down, hits him in the taint, tears his urethra.

So he's got a catheter for the next six months.

We're on a public flight. This is a southwest flight, right?

I'm sleeping, mouth wide open. He has a catheter.
Bags fly free.

Bags fly fly free.

No, but he's got a catheter. So he's like four seats behind me.
He has a catheter long enough to reach me and has only Knoxville could get away with this.

He's got people holding the catheter up, and he's got it aimed straight for my face.

And on a Southwest flight, he uses his catheter and pisses on me for a seat.

And no video of it. No, no, this was before.
This was

a fucking round. Yeah, everyone was clapping.
I was like, this is great.

It's incredible. That's back when Southwest was a real airline.
Oh, it changed everything. That's awesome.

Yeah, I mean, Jackass, like, we've always said it's basically the, the, it's, it's male friendship distilled into a video.

And it's obviously chaos, but like at the core of it, it's these guys just being like, no, you do this, no, you do this, just egging each other on. I think that's why it was so successful.

And you can, you can see that friendship and the camaraderie and the willingness.

The guys are actually, I mean, some of the guys were smarter than others, but like Knoxville was a good human, a good friend, and someone that, yeah, I mean, they all knew what they were in for.

And a lot of them got busted up really bad, but they were super successful because of that friendship. And that's a lot of what we try to create around here.

It's just like, like, that's what Nitro Circus was really born. And he helped us kind of define like what that is.
What was the insurance like on Nitro Circus?

Well, that's why we went to Panama a lot.

Fantastic.

Six pack of beer? Can we set a blob up at the top of your skyscraper? No problem.

Take the elevator.

All right. I have one last question.

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We did a video with you 10 years ago. Do you remember it at all? It was the worst video.
I actually would say, I would argue it's probably the worst video that you've ever been part of.

Yeah, I'm sorry. No, no, no.
Not your fault. Our fault.
We did. It was Barstool.
It was, I remember too. Oh, what's up, dogs?

Dogs. I love it.
Dogs showing up.

Sorry, guys. No, no, no.

Wifey. I remember at the time,

it was like a big deal for us because this is Barstool and we're not, you know, we weren't big at the time. And I think we had some ad deal.

I think it was something around Nitro Circus where it's like, Travis Pastran is going to do a video with you. You guys come up with the video.
He'll do it with you.

Our video was like a tricycle race in New York on a basketball court it was so bad do you remember it all or did you try to erase it from your memory i vaguely okay yeah i like i'm i'm not joking it was like we're we were so stupid thinking it was going to be sick and like everything you've described to me everything i know about you Thank you for entertaining us for an hour because I'm sorry.

I want to apologize for it. And we showed up in costumes.
Did you guys do great? No, we did not do great. It was so bad.
We had one guy, Nate, he showed up in like a pajama costume.

All-time picture from it, but yeah, I don't know. I didn't know if you remembered at all.
I think you erased it from your memory.

I really, like, I remember meeting you guys. Yeah.

I don't. Yeah.
I'm happy you don't remember it. No, no, no.
I'm happy you don't remember.

Yeah, well, dude, it was so bad. I mean, I feel like we might have made up for it today when you took us around the tracks, send us up the jumps.
How would you say Zach did? Zach, where's Zach?

Oh, he's Zach. Zach's getting ready for it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who did the best?

You know, all of you didn't, like, I think you guys all had a similar mindset where you're like, you didn't really want to get in. Yeah.

But as soon as you committed to getting in, you're like, all right, like, this is like, we're in. So, like, nobody was, it seemed like everyone had a good time.
No one was like, I'm a horrible pastor.

I can't do it. But I think he had the best.
Zach didn't know where to put his hands because

I was trying hard not to laugh. It was like a Ricky Bobby moment.
Yeah. Like, cause he, every, I was like, is he like going on a roller coaster? Does he have his hands in the air?

You can grab. I was just worried that if we had like a like kind of a his hands were gonna like smack the walls or something or yeah heaven forbid like

i don't roll with people in the car unless it's a co-driver and we're going for a win but there's always stuff that can happen yeah yeah of course i was just telling myself like if there's one person that's driving me that i would want drive me in the entire world it's probably you yes you're probably the safest guy

I appreciate that. You see, I've got a reputation for crashing, but I'm in stuff all the time.
And yes, if there is someone faster than me, I am, I'm convinced that I'm the best driver in the world.

If someone's going faster, I'm gonna like obviously I could just do it and that's usually not the case yeah so I have a reputation for crashing but there's no one here today that's gonna go faster so you guys should be safe okay nice nice that's

all the times you don't crash well to be fair like I've got one of the best track records but there's always a camera going and on a dirt bike dude I you can always make up time Like if you, there's a whoop section right there, I'm going to shift another gear, I'm going to wheelie as far as this bike will go, and it's going to set down somewhere, and it's going going to spring up and I'll probably get to the other side.

Now,

you can make up like two seconds, like the whole field separated by a half second. I can make up two seconds right there.
I could be a second slower than everyone else and still win this thing by 15.

Like, where are you going?

So, it's that calculated risk. Now, when I went into a rally, I had a co-driver.
That co-driver had a wife, you know, two kids. And he's like, Look, I'm an accountant.
He goes, I do rally. He goes,

I'm going to retire at 50 years old with 50 million in the bank. He goes, I am the collegiate Quiz Bowl national champion.
I am a genius.

I am getting in this car because we always say this is a life or death deal. He goes, it's bullshit.
He goes, winning and losing. He goes, numbers doesn't matter.

He goes, I rally to win, but you have to understand that you have to listen to me. And if at any time you're driving over your head, he goes, I'm going to shut it down.

If you don't listen, I will not be your co-driver anymore. And he taught me so much about, he's like, on this day, I'm like, we're in fifth.
He's like, I don't care.

this is as fast as you can drive right i can tell right now we almost went off that cliff we almost hit that tree he's like you have to slow down i'm like but they're going faster he's like and we'll learn and we'll live to fight another day but if we crash today we're we're screwed yeah and i know that seems really simple and self-explanatory uh but there's nothing common about sense and it took someone sitting in that passenger seat that was kind of my like

you know, just raining in. There's certain days you're just not going to be the best.
There's certain conditions that you're not going to be there.

And on a dirt bike by myself with the devil on both shoulders, I was like, I got this.

Yeah. Oh, well, Travis, thank you, man.
This has been awesome. We appreciate it.

You're the best. I mean, you're one of the coolest guys.

Yeah, you're a legend. You're one of the coolest guys.

You're grit personified.

And this place is a dream. So congrats on all your success.
Dude, thank you for the time, guys. Really appreciate it.
Let's do it. We're doing a flip, right? Yeah, we're doing a flip.
Let's do a flip.

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Alright, let's wrap up the show.

We can just do for the Monday reading, I can just read you a headline that I bookmarked over the weekend because I saw it. It is

from our good friends in China.

China.

Let me find it. I'm going to find it.
I'm going to find it. Say something, Zach.

We got a... What did you do this weekend, Zach? This weekend, I did a trip out to Target.
Made a nice little journey out there.

On the way back, I found there's a 7-Eleven around the corner, grabbed a Slurpee. It was just hot enough for the perfect Slurpee.
Like, Slurpee made it just to the front door of my apartment complex.

The timing couldn't have been better. It was so good.
So, did you get a trash can? I did not get a trash can, no. Okay.
All right, what'd you get? I got some socks and a steak.

That's a great trip to Target. Did you go to prison?

That would have been a great day. That's awesome.
Fresh socks, good protein. That's a prison birthday.
Yeah. I might have had one of those.

New socks and steak is definitely what you get for your birthday in prison. Fun fact about Shane's weekend.

Speaking of Slurpee, Shane got three Slurpees on Saturday at three different points in the day. What? Yeah.
I did, yeah. Why? He did trip Slurpee.

I hadn't had a Slurpee in like 10 plus years, and for some reason, I was just. Wait, went back to the corner.

What flavors?

So I got

first Slurpee was at the movies. I got an Icy, a blue raspberry icy, which I hadn't had in forever.
That was great. Solid.
What movies did you see? Weapons. Okay.
Then right after,

I needed to get like a toothbrush or something so i pulled in a 7-eleven and i saw the slurpee machine you're like damn i got it was like a it was a mountain dew like pineapple okay slurpee and that was that was also awesome and then i got a watermelon margarita like a frozen marg so that's basically a slurpee

yeah and then i got like a snow cone on the beach so that's really cool how cold was your tummy

i don't know pretty cold must have been really cold did you look at what color your shit was

i noticed yeah. What color was it? It's pretty fluorescent.

Do they know you at Target? Oh, no. No.
But you're getting close.

Every weekend, you're like, boy, I'm like, what'd you do? You're like, I went to Target. I'm a self-checkout guy.
So

you don't have to. There's no interactions, really.
What kind of steak? I was...

What's the one? Not the strip, not the filet, but the... Ribeye? Yes.
You got a ribeye? That was a one. Cooked it up in a pan? I did, yeah, cast iron pan.

Smoky? Unfortunately, yeah. So much smoke.
So much smoke. So now my entire apartment does smell like steak, but it's a fire alarm going.
Including your bed? Did your bed smell like steak?

I had to wash the sheets. Okay.
Yeah.

Did you go to Target in your pajamas?

No. No pajamas at Target.
I did look at the.

I happened to be in the aisle checking out some others, but didn't come up with any. Some formal ones in case you have to go in the hallway again.
Yeah.

I'm going to start going in the hallway in khakis and a plea.

I'm going to dress up for the hallway. Yeah.
All right. Here's the headline: stressed adults rely on pacifiers to soothe themselves.
I feel a sense of safety from childhood.

It's a, I guess, a new trend that a bunch of adults are using pacifiers. Can we play a game? Yeah.
A game called Guess the Publication that wrote that headline? Yeah.

This feels like a New York Post. Of course.
Okay, yeah, New York Post. So it's like one guy that might.
I think it's like people in China. Really?

That's a drug thing. Oh, Oh, yeah, it is

Molly.

They're sold as sleep aids. Some online sellers move thousands each month according to the South.
Oh, so maybe it's actually America, but they're obviously making them in China. That's good.

When I'm under pressure at work, I feel a sense of safety from childhood, one Chinese buyer said. So maybe it is China.

A doctor in Sichuan. Yeah, the trend isn't staying swaddled in China either.

TikTok is sucking it up literally with videos of American adults pacifying themselves in traffic at work or in the throes of a burnout.

Whatever happened to just sucking your thumb. Yeah.

Also, this has got to fuck up your teeth, doesn't it? Whatever happened

to just cussing. Yeah.
It's being like, fuck.

Or what about just a, what about

some gum? What happened to gum? Yeah, I feel like this is one of those trends where it's mostly from people on TikTok that are doing it as a joke for the TikTok views. And then...

And now it's like, ooh, that's the best thing. Now it's like, look at the trend.
Because the headline is like, fucking millennials, they're sucking on pacifiers. Yeah.

Or how about be a badass and put in a mouth guard? How about just getting into a fight when you're frustrated instead of sucking on a pacifier? Get your shit rocked.

About just taking out on your wife and children. Back when America was awesome.
Oh, man. Yeah.
So pacifiers, they're the hot thing in the street.

Okay.

Good show, boys.

Great show. We're going to be

inter-invitational this week. Can't wait.
That won't come out for a while, but PFT, we're excited to go down there. Can't wait.
I'm excited. Been working on the game.

What is it about golf that when you really work on one part of your game and you get good at that, the other parts that used to be good just completely fall apart?

I wouldn't know because I've never gotten one part good. What's up with that, Hank?

I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm just pretty bad at most parts.
Now, yeah, that's such a lie. You're a good golfer.
You beat me off camera last week. You shoot in the 80s.

Not that often. Oh.

No, You haven't gotten that? Hank is pretty good now. Yeah.
Come on, Hank. Is it a panic move to switch putters like two days before? Oh, I love that.
A big golf tournament. I love that move.

Because I made the move.

I switched putters. Here's the thing, PFT, you got to think about headlines.
I switched putters, yes. The headline of if you win this tournament.
New putters. What happened? I switched putters happen.

It's going to be, oh, he actually switched to putter. Yeah.
Even though his coach was upset at him. I'm so much better with this other putter, Hank.
So much better. Got no feel with the new one.

i'm a feel guy you know come on hank you know he's good at this new butter it's a mental game it's about confidence right yep it's about confidence i'm more confident in this butter now if i can just work everything else out i'll be in a good spot yeah uh okay before we do uh the lottery ball

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Okay, numbers. Three.

You're so proud of yourself. Fuck yeah.

67. Today's the day.

What number is Justin Fields? Seven.

He's seven with the Jets? All right, I'll go seven.

I like 85. It's a good number.
99 Poke.

44.

Nose Jack.

17.

Nose Slurpee Boy.

Slurps. Congrats on your Chargers memes.
All right. Thank you, Shane.

Shane's Chargers 2-0. Hank, what'd you have? 22.
What'd you have? 31.

53

53. There's a three in there,

whatever. There's a three in there.
Love you guys. One day.
Me too. No, never.
Never. Not gonna happen, James.
Give up. It's been so long.

Yeah.

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