Chase Utley, Mt Rushmore of Basic Girl Instagram Captions, Training Camp Has Started And Listener Submitted FAQ's

Hey, pardon my take, listeners.

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From producer Jordan Peele, the movie Hymn asks the question: Would you sell your soul for greatness?

What are you willing to sacrifice?

Activate my hymn on September 19th.

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What if I say no?

I ain't the killer, but don't push me.

Experience fear like never before.

It's time for me to show you exactly who I am.

Directed by Justin Tipping.

Only in theater, September 19th.

Read it R.

On today's part in my take, we have an awesome interview with Chase Utley.

World Series champion, Chase Utley.

Villain to some people on this show, Chase Utley, memes,

hero to some, Max.

Memes put on his Big J, I'm angry face.

Yeah,

Big J.

He doesn't have his mic on, but we do have Chase Hutley.

We're going to talk a little training camp starting.

Hot seat, cool thrown.

We have the Mount Rushmore of Basic Girl Instagram captions, which is a banger.

Great idea by Hank.

Great idea by Hank.

Hank has been asking for that for a long time, and we finally did it, and it was a great idea by Hank.

We also have FAQs to finish the show.

Man, I'll tell you what.

When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

That's where Snickers comes in, man.

That thing is packed: roasted peanuts, nuggets, caramel, milk, chocolate.

It's like the MVP of candy bars.

And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger.

Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Snickers satisfies, man.

That's a winning play.

Okay, let's go.

Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings PickSix from DraftKings.

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The crown is yours.

Today is Wednesday, July 23rd.

And football is back, PFT.

It's training camp.

We're here.

Training camp.

Fucked up.

Training camp.

Training camp.

It was a great day yesterday.

We saw some of the teams start to report.

I think Jim Harbaugh stole the show yesterday.

Oh my God.

Hiding behind the curtain,

just watching Justin Herbert.

It wouldn't surprise me if he was masturbating watching Justin Herbert's story.

He loves Justin Herbert.

He gets rock hard for football being back.

If you could bottle up what Jim, I mean, this is an all-time video of Jim Harbaugh.

That's definitely jacking off.

If you could bottle up what Jim Harbaugh feels on the first day of training camp, you could sell that for millions, if not billions.

Well, we know what he feels like in the first day of training camp.

He says the first day of training camp is like being born.

And so that is, I think he is simulating his own birth.

Yeah.

That's exactly what's happening.

It looks like he's coming out, breaching the womb for the first time.

I love it.

I love it.

But yeah, it feels good to see guys in pads, not in pads yet, but out on a field.

Yeah, it's cool to see guys wearing colors.

Yeah.

And we also have some holdouts.

Trey Hendrickson.

Yep.

Power move by Trey Hendrickson.

He said that he's not only not playing on his current contract, but he's leaving the state.

He left the state of Ohio.

I love that.

He tagged himself, I think on Instagram, he tagged himself as being in Florida.

Yeah.

Marked safe from the ownership of the Cincinnati Bengals.

That's such a power move, though, to just be like, I'm not only not going to be showing up, but I'm leaving the state.

Well, Florida is the Ohio of the South.

That's true.

He also said that he's like going on the warpath against the Bengals right now because he said, I think he talked to Manty Teo and he said that it was an atrocious offer that they gave him.

So it looks like gloves are off.

Gloves have been off.

And that's the only holdout I can think of.

Yeah.

What's going on with your guy?

Debo, looking good.

You look good in the Debo jersey.

The Debo jersey was a big swing and a miss.

I thought it would be funny to get a small Debo jersey, and then I would look like fat Debo wearing the small.

It turns out I can just wear a small jersey, which was a tough.

Oh, no.

That's a small.

This is a small.

Stand up real quick.

Jerseys, they run they run big.

Everybody knows that.

Oh no.

It actually fits perfectly.

Fits perfectly.

It fits so good.

A child-sized jersey?

I thought it'd be funny like hugging me.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Not child-sized, woman-sized jersey.

Woman-sized jersey.

Yeah.

You could fit probably into a child's large.

We're going to have to get you a child.

We're going to have to keep going smaller.

Okay,

give me a child Debo Samuel jersey.

It's so funny that they make a jersey that says, like it's for kids, that says Samuel Sr.

on the back.

Yeah.

Does that one officially say senior?

It does say senior.

He had sex.

What's going on with Terry?

Terry's fine.

Everything's probably cool.

Both sides want to work something out.

So there's no update.

I've just heard updates from Terry when he was doing the Eastern Motors car commercial where he said he wanted to work something out.

Yep.

Then I heard Adam Peters doing his press conference at the media today, and he said he wanted to work something out.

So it sounds like both sides want to work something out.

So he's as good as there.

Yeah.

So it seems like it's done.

Everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

It's all good.

I drove the El Camino into work today, and then I had to leave, take Blake to the vet, and then I drove back in the afternoon, and I brought the other car in just in case.

Something happened with Terry, and then I'd have to force Max to pry the El Camino out from my garage.

And then we'd have to give it to a fan.

And then we'd, well, no, that's what you said.

Yeah, as you.

We also had Jerry Jones spouting off.

This is, I think Jerry Jones is just at the point where he's, and this probably happened a long time ago, but he's officially, like, officially there where he's just old guy stream of consciousness.

Because his comments,

what were the exact, what was the exact quote?

Do you have it in front of you?

Well, there was one that he said, they asked him if he was going to give up the general manager position or if he's ever thought about it.

And he said that he has for about a fraction of a second.

And hell no, he's not going to give it up and then he said i've danced with the devil the financial devil and lived to tale the tale tell the tale i don't know what that means i don't know the financial devil yeah and then he also took a shot at micah parsons uh

because they said that he's uh

saying if they sign him it doesn't mean they'll have him because he was hurt for six games last year he was only hurt for four Still a crazy thing to say.

Yeah, he did the thing where it's like, what if he gets hit by a bus?

Yeah.

These guys could die tomorrow and we still owe them the money.

Yeah.

And then J.J.

Wat came over to the top and said, anytime you can publicly take a dig at your star quarterback and your star pass rusher simultaneously right before the season begins, you just got to take it.

Nothing makes guys want to fight for you more than hearing how upset you are they got hurt while fighting for you.

And then Micah Parsons retweeted it.

Good times for the Cowboys.

It gets started early in Dallas.

He still hasn't gotten, he hasn't done any like passive aggressive statements about Schottenheimer yet.

Yeah.

Which they're in the honeymoon period right now.

But basically, you know, taking your two, you get arguably most valuable assets and then publicly.

Can you imagine working for a boss that draws a lot of attention to you, but then will also trash you on his own medium platforms?

That's tough.

I could not imagine that.

No, he, yeah, the Dak Prescott one was he said they paid, they made Dak Prescott the richest player in football and he missed two-thirds of the year.

Nice, Jerry.

He's just, he's, he's old Grandpa Jerry, where it's like, ah, do we really want him to say that?

Do we really want to put him in front of a microphone?

Maybe he needs a dump button.

I don't know.

He might.

He's probably got a colostomy bag, but Jerry is in mid-season form.

You guys, as NFCs guys got to love this, that the Cowboys are just...

I mean, this is.

I like it, though.

Like, I enjoy Jerry Jones as a figure in NFL.

Oh, I agree, but I'm just saying, like, the Cowboys are, like, this is not the way you want to start camp to have Micah Parsons seemingly upset and a shot at Dak Prescott from your owner and general manager.

I was also searching during that.

Did you mention Michael Parson?

No, he said Michael.

He also played the clip.

I want to hear that.

That's great.

Yeah, he's an old guy.

Of all the players that I've ever negotiated with,

Michael Parson is as savvy and knowledgeable and understanding of his financial business.

Michael Parson

is what he referred to.

And I'm not going to defend Jerry Jones.

He's 82 years old.

82 is, you know, you get to 82 and it's, you know, you're sitting at the Thanksgiving table and you're like, don't listen to what he's saying right the way he talks he's giving the fucking speech to start trading camp as the owner and general manager the way that he talks about his players is like how a businessman would talk about one of his vendors yeah that he's just gotten a big contract with and you want to make sure that they know that the pressure is still on them to deliver what you said that they would deliver not football players that are going out there and trying to hurt each other oh man listen jerry i'll pay a young boy's money who's to say he's not going to die who's who's to say he's not going to fall into the gorilla exhibit at the cincinnati say he he would that jerry jones if he had it like could you imagine if if we had the uh cba as as pro jerry jones where if you get injured you don't get paid yeah it's it's even less guaranteed contracts

he wants jerry wants it to be if you miss a practice you don't get paid if you miss a game if you miss a quarter oh you got oh you had to leave the game with a concussion Well, that's half your paycheck.

Go by play.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good plays and bad plays.

He just, he,

what do they they did

wasn't there someone who did I guess this is just the stock market I'm thinking about like just dynamic pricing where it's like oh he got a sack.

Oh, he's going to get you know $10,000.

Oh, he missed the tackle.

All right.

We're taking $10,000 away.

Polymarket, but for sport.

Yeah.

That's what he's going to be investing in.

He might be on the cusp of something.

I do think that it's impossible to draw conclusions as to how the Cowboys are going to play this year just based on Jerry Jones and where he's at because he does this every year.

He does this every week.

So he wants the spotlight on him.

The Cowboys might be good this year.

They've got good players.

Yeah.

But it does seem like it's

Schottenheimer's going to get a very quick crash course in having Jerry Jones outshine anything and everything that you do all the time.

Big time.

Big time.

You also, I know we brought back Herder Injured last on Monday

for the snack wrap.

This is, we're just going to, I'm just going to bring this back

right now.

The uh,

you think, because Saquon Barkley is saying that if he could go back in time, he would like to get paid all in Bitcoin that has gone up 7x since he started in the NFL.

Oh, you think?

No, duh.

He basically was like, yeah, I would have rather gotten paid seven times the amount.

I wonder if the Giants had offered him the contract that they were offering him, but in Bitcoin, if he would have taken that.

Do you guys have any Bitcoin?

I bought...

I'm heavily leveraging Doge.

I think I bought a half of Bitcoin in like 2016.

I don't know how to get it.

I got the Doge.

It's in a a wallet somewhere.

I buy a little bit every month.

I have like an automatic.

Do you?

Yeah.

Good for you.

That's the way you're supposed to do it.

That's super impressive.

Shout out to my brother.

That's actually really impressive.

Hank's the richest guy.

How did you do that?

My brother told me to do that.

Teach me how you did that.

Well, that's so smart.

I don't know how to do it.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

That's a really smart thing you did.

Damn, are you?

I might be the smartest thing you've ever done.

My brother's a smart guy.

Yeah.

This was like four years ago at Christmas.

He was just like sick little bit of bookcoin every single month

i do the thing where if it goes up i'm like can't buy it now and then if it drops i'm like oh i gotta buy all of it right now which you're not supposed to do oh i do if it goes up i'm like i missed it if it goes down this is the end of bitcoin yeah that's what i think yeah so my bottom line is i just never buy it i did have a guy in 2012 tell me you should buy this bitcoin stuff and it was like 80 bucks and i bought some energy stock that went to zero there's some stories about that there was like like a guy 2016 in our office.

Like, yeah.

I remember Lewis and I used to make fun of Lewis and Caleb so much because Caleb didn't have a lot of money and put all of it in Bitcoin.

And then would be like, I have no money.

And I would always give him shit.

And then, you know, six years later, he's like, yeah, that worked out.

I feel like Doge is going to take Bitcoin over at some point.

I saw.

Quigs has the best story here.

Oh, yeah.

He got paid, right?

No, no.

He used to stay as a hard driver.

He used to

use Bitcoin to pay for fake IDs back in high school.

And he had

an extra like $100 that was just left over in the account.

And it's worth millions now.

But

he just can't get back on it.

Oh, he's got to get someone to help him.

It was in like high school.

It was like, because that was like the easiest way.

It was like the only untraceable way to

use the dark web.

And he just, it's just out there.

I would think about that all day.

Every single day.

Like, I would just sit in a room thinking to myself, One of these moments, I'm just going to remember the password.

Dude, there was a guy who recently, I I think it was like a few days ago, sold all his Bitcoin that he bought.

He bought $54,000 of Bitcoin in 2011.

What do you think it sold for?

$1.2 bill.

$9.6 billion.

Jesus.

Why'd he just sell now?

I don't know.

He better be buying a team.

Yeah.

Like, can you imagine not selling once you hit a billion?

It's crazy.

And also, why would you sell all of it?

I'd probably sell when it was like $100,000.

Why wouldn't you sell like half of it and keep half of it?

Yeah.

He probably did.

He probably has more, but that's.

We missed the boat.

We missed the boat, boys.

We screwed the pooch on the Bitcoin thing.

Not Hank.

Hank's fucking swimming in it.

Yeah, but imagine if you could just go back in 2010, you and just be like, hey,

do you have like $1,000 laying around?

Because in 15 years, it's going to be 100 million.

Yeah.

I didn't.

Yeah, I was afraid.

I was a little boy.

I don't know.

You're a crypto guy like that, Hank.

Crypto King.

Again.

You are.

Shout Shout out to my brother.

You should make your profile picture like the board ape version of Hank.

Hank, crypto expert of the show now.

Yep.

He is.

Stack.

UFC.

And golf.

UFC crypto.

I don't think the crypto bros will get upset if you screw things up.

What's the other one?

I don't know.

I feel like recently there was another one that was.

Can we add another one to you?

I don't know.

They're our expert.

Football.

Football expert.

Actually, the expert on when we can say football's back.

All right.

What else?

Oh, Chris Paul is back for the Clippers.

Maybe retirement tour?

They've got a great lineup.

They do.

Great lineup.

They do.

James Harden, Bradley Beal, Chris Paul, Bugdanovich, Chris Dunn.

That's their guards.

Kawhi Leonard, John Collins, Derek Jones, Nick Batum, and then Zubach and Brooke Lopez as their centers.

If this is a year.

If this was 2019, big three teams.

Yeah, this is the year.

If this was 2019, I got Clippers setting records in the world.

Holy shit, the Clippers are going to be awesome.

Some other big NBA news.

Well, one last thing about Chris Paul real quick.

This is interesting because if this is going to be his retirement year, we might have a retirement off.

I don't think LeBron wants to retire the same time as Chris Paul.

You think they want to split that up?

I think it might be a retirement off, which I love a retirement off.

That's good.

It's going to be like who's going to retire first?

Would the other person stay an extra year just because they didn't want to retire the same year as that guy?

You got to think about the Hall of Fame one day.

Yep.

Yep, you do.

Who's going to get first billing?

Obviously, LeBron.

Do you think Russell would give Chris Paul a speech at the Hall of Fame?

That'd be sick.

Yeah, I think so.

What was your other NBA thing?

It's a rumor right now, but I think that we should talk about it about the possibility.

Hot rumor on the streets right now.

Ben Simmons has been linked to the Boston Celtics.

Whoa.

What do you think about that, Hank?

Who linked this?

I think that was the Dunk Central.

Okay.

Not Central.

I don't think I got Central on it.

Central.

Stool Greeney was talking about it.

Stool Greeny Purr, Stool Greeney.

Hank, your thoughts?

I trust Brad Stevens.

I don't think this is going to happen.

I think there's a better chance

Terry McLaurin plays for the Patriots than Ben Simmons plays for the Celtics.

Okay.

Well, right now, the Boston Celtics have engaged in conversations with the 76ers, revolving around Simmons and expressed interest in the 6'11 guard.

Sources tell the actors.

With who?

With the 76ers.

Oh, this is back in the day.

Wait, quick, quick, buy Bitcoin.

Okay, the Celtics.

Hey, you're time traveling.

I read the wrong tweet.

The Celtics are reportedly interested in signing Ben Simmons per the Stein Line.

God.

So it is a real report.

Hank.

Boston, Phoenix, New York, and Sacramento.

That is what the Stein Line said.

That's four teams, not the Celtics.

Hank, let me ask you a question.

If

Ben Simmons signed with the Celtics, how quickly will you sell yourself on Ben Simmons?

Because I do think Ben Simmons is still.

Oh, I would love love if Ben Simmons had a renaissance

somewhere in there.

He's got to be that guy.

1,000% would be an all-star with himself.

That would be so good.

I would be rooting for him.

It's also like next year's kind of just house money.

Like,

who cares?

We're not going to be that good.

So, why not have some fun?

Ben Simmons is not fun.

He could be.

He could be fun.

If he was good, I would have so much fun.

Oh, Mike.

He'd be the world's

Ben Simmons fan.

We have to root for this.

Terry to the Patriots.

Not happening.

Terry to the Judson.

I just wanted to talk about something else.

Not happening.

You want to talk about something else?

Hey,

was that?

That was crazy, the catcher interference.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was that on your hot seat Quilteron?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

We'll save it.

We'll save it.

I mean, there's not much hot seat.

It's just a stupid rule.

All right.

Well, we'll save it.

Save it.

I would like to hear you say that again.

Okay.

I don't think there's much else.

I mean, we have like the media days happening for the big conferences.

Belichick on Thursday.

Belichick's going on Thursday.

Yep.

Jordan on Wednesday?

Probably earlier Thursday.

Okay.

Ozzy Osborne died.

That was sad.

That is very sad.

Yeah.

R.I.P.

Sweet Prince.

Yeah.

Invented a genre of music.

That's pretty cool.

Also, reality show star.

Yeah.

I mean, that was an all-time reality show back in the day.

Yep.

Okay.

Well, hey, look, this is why we do Mount Rushmore season.

Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne.

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All right.

Henry.

My first hot seat was Memphis football.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

They tried.

What was that?

What was that?

Max is bringing one minute ago.

What is this?

What's

breaking moves?

Breaking moves.

Do the typewriter.

Do Do it.

Do it.

Breaking moves.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Washington wide receivers.

McLaurin is seeking a new contract.

No.

Hot report to training camp today.

Per source.

McLaurin was not present for the commander's conditioning test today that marked an unofficial start to training camp.

All other players are present and accounted for.

Just not McLaurin.

Slow news down.

I mean, that's pretty good.

Like,

one for the team is not bad.

We're talking about guys that aren't here.

I want to focus on the guys that are here, right?

TFT, I'm going to continue to have your back.

He's going to sign.

He's going to sign.

He's both going to sign.

This happens every training camp.

They both want to make it happen.

It's going to happen.

Terry's,

again, a three-jersey guy, but it's Redskins football team commanders.

Can I give you a spin zone as well?

Yep.

I didn't see anywhere in that report that he left the state.

He did not.

He is

probably in Virginia right now.

Yeah.

So in state.

Still in state.

Has not,

that we know of, left the state.

I do love this.

I hope it's like a new fad that if you hold out, you have to leave the state.

Just

get out of Dodge for a while.

Just to prove.

Just go across.

Trey Hendrickson should have just gone to Kentucky.

Yeah.

Just go across the bridge.

Let me ask you guys this.

What do you think Terry is worth right now?

Because the market has kind of been set by the top 10 years.

$40 million.

$40 million a year?

Yeah.

Okay.

It's probably not doable.

I think he's pretty good.

He's really good.

Yeah.

I think he'll settle for like $28.

That's my official prediction.

28.

Three years, 28%.

How much guaranteed?

We're going to do 53 million guaranteed.

Okay.

That gets it done.

I like that.

Get Terry in the door.

Oh.

So you're looking up Garrett Wilson's contract for comparables?

Although Garrett Wilson is

younger.

Terry's 30.

$130 million extension.

Four years.

Would you say three years, 58?

I had it.

No.

Yep.

Yeah.

No,

that was a guaranteed money.

Guaranteed

53.

I had him at $28 million a year.

Okay.

So the deal includes $90 million guarantee for Garrett Wilson.

So that's not too far off.

He's going to sign.

You'll be fine.

It's going to be good.

It's going to be fine.

Everything's going to be wonderful.

All right.

You're hot seat?

Baby Fat Debo.

My hot seat is the Big 12.

Or Memphis.

Okay.

They tried to join the Big 12, offered $250 million to join the Big 12,

and got declined.

That's tough look.

That's a horrific.

You got to just cancel the football program.

I feel like anywhere, any organization should be able to join the Big 12 for $250 million cash.

Yeah.

Easily.

Doesn't matter who you are.

Yeah.

PETA should be able to join the Big 12

for $250 million.

Absolutely.

We should be able to join the Big 12 for $250 million.

You know what?

A non-competitive.

Athletic University.

I'll offer $251 million to the Big 12 if they'll accept part of my take.

Dude, imagine if this Bitcoin guy just bought the whole Big 12.

Yeah.

Just made him play at his house.

Yeah, it was a tough look for Memphis to get rejected, but they're back in.

They're in the American.

It's the American.

Yeah, it's just the American conference.

Which I like.

They dropped Athletic from the conference name.

Correct.

So they're just the AC?

The AC.

They're the American.

Yeah.

But what's the AC?

The American.

AC.

You can add conference if you'd like to.

I'm just, I refer to it as the American.

But like, if you were going to abbreviate the conference.

USA?

Conference USA.

Yeah.

It might get a little confusing.

We are the American.

They dropped the athletic.

Not even North American.

But don't, I feel like all conferences have to be, I guess not.

What?

Three letters, but no.

No,

definitely not.

Southern.

Southern Conference?

Yep.

Yeah.

SC, AC.

All right.

My other hot seed, the Red Sox.

I want to be mad more about the ruling, but it was a pretty egregious play by the catcher.

The Red Sox lost on walk-off.

Catcher's interference.

Second time it's ever happened in MLB history.

First time since 1971.

The problem is the catcher just stuck it.

The batter was not swinging.

It was a check swing.

He was also a mile behind the ball.

Like, even if he swung, he was going to miss badly.

But the catcher

threw his hand so far out

it was technically letter of the law catch interference red sox had a 10-game winning streak going to the all-star break one and three since

i was i'm i'm still you know running next to

next to the the the bandwagon train but

i haven't had a good chance to go up on faster than you or are you it's starting to go faster it's starting to lose me is the train coming towards you or going away from you it's we're running in the same direction.

He's trying to catch the train.

He's trying to catch up.

So the train got started.

You're sprinting after the train.

Yeah.

Not even sprinting.

I'm kind of just deciding, like, you know, I'm so fast, obviously, that I'm like, do I want to jump on this train or no?

Like, is it going in a direction I want to be on?

So how close?

Or is it a waste of my time?

Yeah.

How close attention are you paying?

Like, last night?

I was watching.

I mean, it was Phillies.

I was ready.

I was ready.

I was ready.

And now, is that just because it was against Max's Phillies?

Well, I mean, I went to two games last week.

I'm tuned in.

I've been tuned in since I lost our break.

This is the best.

I mean, this is the time when, like, we're going to get a trade deadline next Thursday.

Is when we start having some big-time series.

I mean, the Cubs just got caught by the Brewers just will not lose.

They do not lose.

It's insane.

They do not lose games.

So it's going to be like the Cubs play the Brewers like eight times coming up.

Phillies, do the Phillies play the Mets soon?

They got caught.

I'm sure.

Yeah.

I mean, I need you more jacked up about the Phillies.

I don't have a lot of confidence in the Phills right now.

Yeah.

Is that because of the trade deadline stuff?

All of the Mets.

We play the Mets two more times, both in August and September.

Yeah.

Those are fun series, though.

You're half a game up right now.

Yeah, Max, you got to lock in.

You got to lock the fuck in.

I just don't have a lot of confidence in this team right now.

Max Delente needs to step up.

Get the fuck up, dude.

Hank's stepping up.

It's baseball season.

I mean,

I'm tuned in.

I'm tuned in.

I watch every game.

It's just, it's,

I don't know.

They're frustrating squad.

You won last night.

I know.

And also,

it was bases loaded.

No-how.

They were like, chances are.

Yeah, but it was more fun that the ump had to come back and award the win.

Yeah.

That's a fun ump call.

No, it's a great ump call.

Great ump call.

Your cool turn?

My cool tone is crack talk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Max, we put out the Barcelona bass fishing tournament.

Max's crack made an appearance once again.

Always.

How'd you do in that tournament, Max?

I caught a fish.

Our team caught the biggest fish.

Yeah.

That's

great points.

Did you draw a point?

Did you also catch the smallest fish?

I don't know.

That wasn't tracked, I don't think.

Yeah, I don't think it was.

No, they didn't.

They weighed every fish.

Yeah, how much did your one fish

weigh, Max?

And we were out there for four hours.

PFT, how many fish did we catch?

We caught a ton of fish.

Like 20 fish.

I caught a fish.

You caught one fish?

Yeah.

And it was alive?

Yeah.

Yep.

That was a little bit of a pause.

Was it a minnow?

It was a fish.

Big mouth bass.

Yeah, big mouth bass.

Not a small mouth.

Not a pound?

Not a smallmouth bass.

It was a baby bass?

It was more than a pound.

Size doesn't mess the battle.

Four hours, one fish?

I could do a ton of fish.

He was doing a net.

We were a team.

This was a team game.

You guys don't understand team game.

Well, no, we do because we won.

We won the whole damn game.

Yeah, we got you guys.

No, but it was selfish.

We caught selfish.

How were we selfish?

Did you notice I just said, PFT, how many fish did we catch?

We caught a ton.

You guys are talking about your scene.

Hank is talking about his big fish.

I said our team caught the big fish.

Our team caught the biggest fish.

And you keep saying, I caught a fish.

Well, because you're saying that I didn't catch a fish.

Well, I mean, it wasn't really a fish.

It's, well, I guess.

Who's to say?

I guess this is more of a political debate.

When does a fish become a fish?

Yeah.

Right?

It was a big fish.

We did well.

Yeah.

Crack was out.

We were cracking.

We were cracking up.

Okay.

You guys had a great time.

Yeah, we had a great time.

Great time.

All-time vibes on the boat with you and your boys fishing.

Can't beat it.

Great vibes.

I do.

Don't watch that video.

It's very fun.

I think I like fishing now.

Yeah.

It's such a relaxing, fun thing to do.

Let's go get a tune.

It also is, we should

put a disclaimer: we caught like 20 fish in four hours.

It's very fun when you catch fish.

It is, yeah.

Going fishing and not catching fish is not fun.

We should do it.

That should be a video that we do someday.

Okay.

Oh, like the one we just fishing with no

guides.

Yeah.

All right.

So let's do it.

Maybe we'll do it in time.

You know, we'll do it at Camp Barstool.

A PM TV of us at Camp Barstool fishing?

There's no way there's fish in that.

We went.

Remember last year?

Oh, they have those.

Yeah.

We not only went, we went, and it was the most ridiculous thing ever because we went out on a boat for like an hour.

None of us caught fish except.

The photographer that we were paying for caught a fish, and then he made me take a picture of him with his fish.

With his camera?

Yes.

What the fuck, man?

That rocks.

That's crazy.

I believe Max can be good at fishing, but I think that the best way to settle it, maybe have Max go up against professional fishermen and see if Max can catch like a third as many fish or half as many fish as these professional fishermen can.

And he has to keep fishing until he's able to catch, let's just call it six fish.

Six fish against a really good team of fishermen.

And we can make a video out of it.

I like that.

What do you think, Max?

I'm confused, but I'm in.

Okay.

Love it.

Love it.

We'll get right on it.

You're Italian?

Memes just got it.

I am Italian.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, the.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, I still don't think I get it.

Yeah, no.

The shark guy?

Yep.

Yeah.

Oh, got it.

Shark, shark guy.

Shark guy.

But also, Hunter Biden was on Channel 5.

He did a Channel 5 interview, and he broke, he had a long explanation breaking down the difference between crack and cocaine.

I saw a very funny tweet that was like, this is what Gruden looks like when he's breaking down quarterback.

Yeah.

You can tell he's passionate.

LeBron doing the Mind the Game podcast.

Yeah.

LeBron talking about wine.

Yeah.

It was quite.

I didn't know half the thing.

I was like, holy shit.

Yeah, when someone's passionate about something and they're breaking it down, it's interesting no matter what it is.

It was informative.

Hunter would be a blast to hang out with for one night.

Maybe like six hours.

Six hours of Hunter Biden.

You don't need anything else.

Damn.

You think he listens?

Yeah.

To this show?

What up, Hunter?

We'd have Hunter on.

Probably like a four to five time AWL.

Yeah.

Yeah, somewhere around there.

Maybe missed the year in the middle.

Yeah.

Shit was going on.

Got a little busy.

Yeah, the laptop was, there were some viruses on there.

What do you think?

What speed do you think he listens to this episode at?

3.5.

3.5.

Listen, we'll have Hunter.

We'll have any, we'll have Netanyahu on.

We'll send, bro.

Listen, we'll do Netanyahu.

We don't care, okay?

We'll do Netanyahu, Hunter Biden, Putin, Coney, LeBron, anybody.

Anyone.

What memes?

What are you making?

Max still doesn't get it.

I've been explaining.

Shark guy.

Yeah, the shark thing, Max.

He's still trying to explain what he's doing.

What are you confused about?

I don't understand it.

You're doing a video against people that are really good at a sport, and you have to compete against them at that sport, even though you're not very good at it.

Pros versus Joes?

Yeah.

It's all right.

He will.

I have faith.

Yeah.

He'll get there.

You can be on a dinghy, a dinghy boat, and you can go dinghies only.

Oh!

Six?

Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.

I get it, I get it, I get it.

I haven't done the dingers only channel.

Oh, man, the shark guy.

The shark guy.

I thought you were trying to say what that was.

I don't either.

And then there was also the thing where he, there was a moment where he was shark guy, then he was like seven fishes Italian.

Yeah.

And then I thought you were talking about the football coach that laid naked with the sharks.

Oh, Jim McAleane?

Not him.

Not him.

Not him.

Not him.

Firm, not him.

Don't even say it's him.

All right.

Good Good hot seat, cool thrown.

Thanks.

PFT.

Great job, Hank.

My hot seat is

RFK Stadium.

RFK Stadium in D.C., kind of on the hot seat right now because we have not one but two surprise leading candidates for president in 2028 who are putting the project in jeopardy.

President Donald Trump and Stephen A.

Smith have both weighed in on the subject.

Stephen A.

Smith's idea was to build one stadium in Maryland and then have the Ravens and the Commanders share it, which is maybe the dumbest thing that Stephen A.

Smith has ever said.

Wasn't that the Bengals Bears thing?

That was Florio.

That was Florio.

That was also dumb.

Yeah.

But where would they have played?

Florio was saying an hour away.

No, Florio was saying

you moved the Bengals to Chicago, but I was saying, let's just put it in the middle of Indiana.

Yeah.

Yeah, but Stephen A.

Smith actually said he thinks that it would be great if they could share.

Number one, the Ravens, Baltimore and D.C.

are like an hour, over an hour apart.

Right.

Depending on traffic, it could be sometimes more.

The ravens all already have a stadium that they're renovating right uh the big point of contention of the dc though the washing commanders stadium was that it was too far away from dc so why would we put it halfway there just maybe the dumbest idea ever that stephen a smith brought up and then uh then president trump weighed in and i this is the

this is tough because

He gave us a nickname that I fear will stay.

Was this real?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was the nickname?

He called us the Washington Whatevers.

And it's a fucking banger.

You got to take your hat off to the guy.

That sounds like a boomer.

The Washington Whatevers

should change the name back to the Redskins because he found out that the stadium is located, RFK Junior Stadium, where the second RFK one is going to be.

That's on federal property, but they lease it out to the city council to then determine what to do.

Got it.

I think...

I don't know.

Is he trying to change the topic about anything else?

No, I think he's just very passionate about the Washington football team's team name.

but yeah the way that it goes i think that if he were to do this move it should have been done in november before they gave the rights to the city council

i think it might be too little too late but he's he's playing the hits right now yeah and so i just you know what it's a welcome distraction from terry mclaurin yeah um was that your cool throne that was my that was my hot seat yeah and then my cool throne is my basement oh because i killed the spider yes i found the spider the morning after we did the podcast on Thursday, and Blake saved my life.

And then I saved his life.

He saw the spider across the room, barked at it.

I got up, smashed the fuck out of that thing.

Who saved who?

Me and Blake together.

But yeah, my basement is now certified spider-free.

That's a question.

There was only one spider.

Was that the same spider you saw?

He was the same one.

Are you sure?

Yeah, Greg.

Is Greg the spider?

Yeah.

That was the only spider that's down there.

He looked the same.

It's a brown recluse.

You got to start tagging him.

Killed it.

Like sharks.

There's no shark guy.

There's no need.

Did anyone reach out to you and say that if you see one brown recluse, there's a good chance that you see a lot of brown recluses?

Nope.

Because I saw people saying that.

Nope.

Did not hear from anybody regarding the amount, the estimation.

Nobody's doing a census of brown recluses in my solo traveler.

I think I left the door open one day.

A single brown recluse would have been...

Would have been better than a single hornet.

They're called brown recluses.

They're shy.

They don't like that.

they're more scared of you than you are of them fact i love that whenever whenever any animal that could maul you to death yeah well actually they're more scared of you than that well i still don't want to swim with a hippopotamus yeah but i'm sure that was the only one hippos aren't scared of you no no i'm pretty sure they are no no no i think hippos are hippos are the one the one exact one that

i'm more scared of a hippopotamus than it is of me that's confirmed but i'm more scared of every animal than they are of me.

Like when people say like, oh, yeah,

the black bear's more scared of you than you are of them.

No, that's not true.

That one might be true.

No, but I'm saying, if I saw a black bear, I'd be very scared.

But they're kind of bitches.

Do you think they would be as scared as I would?

I would be very scared.

I think so.

I don't know.

I think that's one of those situations.

If you saw any type of deadly animal, like a shark, they say that with sharks.

Yeah, that's not true.

Which is not true.

That's not true about sharks.

Like, people just assume my scared level, it's higher.

Although I would fuck all these animals up.

What am I saying?

I think I'm...

Stop bringing up brown recluse spider bites, please.

I know what I got bit by a brown recluse back in like oh,

yeah,

hippo was a bad pull by me.

They're there, they're uh

they're gen, they are not generally scared of humans.

In fact, they're known to be highly aggressive and territorial.

Bad pull, yeah, bad pull.

I think any other kind of bear, polar bear, they're not scared at all.

But again, I would be so scared, like even if they, if you said, like, oh, they're not, they're more scared of you than you are of you.

No, I'm, I think,

I think hippos, I would be more scared of them than they they are of me yeah wait i say yes but we're agreeing yeah yeah yeah hippos polar bears same hippos

moose except they can't swim

is that true yes now i'm back now i'm back on i don't know they can run in the water run on the bottom do you guys know hippos scary they run on the bottom they float they can't swim i think they're not swimming when they're going fast they're running on the bottom of the water floating is is swimming floating but they're not switch they're not actively i'm pretty sure they run on the water.

I could be just so bad about all my hippo facts.

I'm pretty sure they run on the bottom of the water.

Oh, they said

hippo facts.

Am I right?

Swim

the way that most animals do.

They're too dense and cannot float.

There we go.

They don't even float.

They walk or run along the bottom of the.

All right, I'm back.

I'm one for two in hippo facts.

Damn, so Fiona can't swim?

No.

They just kind of like bounce.

Are you on the ground on the bottom?

Are you more scared of Fiona than she is of you?

No, Fiona's darling.

I'm not scared of Fiona.

Fiona's darling.

Yeah.

All right, I feel back.

I got a rubber match coming up with hippo facts.

And I don't know where I'm going to go with it.

Pablo Escobar had hippos.

How strong is their jaw?

What'd that mouth do?

Extra strong.

One and a half tons of force.

That's extra strong.

That's a lot.

So there we go.

I won the rubber match.

How fast can they run?

Up to.

25 miles an hour.

30.

20.

Oh, okay.

Slow.

I feel like I've won this

against myself.

That was your cool throne.

That was my cool throne.

Basically, spider-free.

All right, my hot seat is

reporters of the New England Patriots because Rabel is back and

it's no longer the Jared Mayo.

Did you guys see this clip of Rabel?

Can you pull it up, Max?

I sent it to you.

I DM'd it to you.

He's a boss.

He's just going to be a boss.

Yeah, the bottom one.

Bottom one.

Nope, that's Titans.

Vrabel.

There you go.

This is Vrabel talking to reporters today.

Now that the guys are back, I know there's 90 of them, but generally speaking.

91.

91, excuse me, International Pathway.

How do you feel about how the past came back?

I mean, whether you were

in a coma when I answered Tom's question,

or typing on your phone or tweeting, I don't know, but I spent five minutes answering that question.

And I can go back through it, but I'd rather not.

That's a tone sales.

That's a tone sale.

That's a man that has teenage sons at home.

Yeah.

He's had that same conversation.

Type it on your phone or tweet, and that's where it hurts.

Yeah.

Also, can we just take a second to acknowledge what a great question it was, though?

Yeah.

Like the guys that are here,

how do they all look?

How do they look?

That's a great question.

Yeah.

You want to know?

Yeah.

And then my cool throne is

31 teams in the NFL because the Titans have kind of said they're probably not going to win the Super Bowl this year.

This also happened today at the press conference.

I think it was to their GM and coach, if you want to pull that one up, Max, when they asked him if they could win the Super Bowl this year.

I mean, it's a fucked up question.

Simple question.

The team you put on the field tomorrow, can that team win the Super Bowl?

Listen, we have, yeah, that's always the goal every year.

I also realize we have a lot of work to do on the other side.

That one stunned them.

That one stunned them

they just were like you could even see i that's not callahan so who's the it must be their front office just kind of like he like giggled at it yeah that's a that's a mean question it is a mean question because titans he knows he's got two stories and he's deciding which button to press if you answer it like we have a lot of work to do then your story is titans don't plan on being competitive right if they say yes then you say titans are delusional right right so unfair question that's a tough one um oh by the way jamal Adams is signing with the Raiders.

Blitz Boy.

He's still around.

Yeah.

He's going to look awesome in a Ravens uniform, and somehow it's going to work out.

Shout out to Honey Badger retiring today.

Jimmy Graham also retiring today.

Phillip Rivers retired yesterday.

That was crazy.

Yeah.

How is he not already retired?

I don't know.

Hasn't he been coaching football for

two years?

So we just had a rash of retirements, some legends of the game.

It did make me miss Philip Rivers.

I watched that video.

Yeah.

It also me, missed,

made me miss having the Chargers in San Diego.

They should never have left.

That sucked.

Agreed.

It just, there was something about it.

It's like they were just felt unique.

They should have taken the stadium for the Rams and the Chargers and built it halfway between and Temecula.

Yeah.

That would have made everybody happy.

Long Beach.

Don't know if that's right.

Is that right?

Ish?

Kind of.

Okay.

No.

Why are you shaking your head, Max?

Long Beach is definitely closer to LA than San Diego.

Yeah, but it's kind of halfway in the middle.

San Diego and L.A.

are close, though.

Yeah, San Diego and LA are very close.

You want to fact-check me?

You could rollerblade that.

Yeah, easily.

Give it to me, Max.

You just searched California map.

No, I am very close to the map.

Okay, okay, but also it's on the way.

It's on the way.

Where's Temecula?

Yeah, zoom in.

Temecula is pretty close to halfway, I think.

Temecula is also

in right in the middle of halfway.

Yeah, but

it's not traffic.

Traffic.

What?

You didn't think about traffic.

What's about traffic?

Long Beach is like in LA.

It's ish.

We have a traffic.

What's that town with the D right there in the middle?

That's where they need to build it.

What about Oceanside?

That's how it looks like.

It's Oceanside.

Okay.

Yeah, there it is.

That's a good spot.

That's a perfect spot.

We're learning new stuff.

Build on

a lot of stuff.

There's a whole lot of nice.

Carlsbad.

Yeah, I think that's mountains.

Wow.

That'd be cool, though.

A stadium on a mountain.

Yeah.

All right, Zach, hot seat cool throw?

Yes, sir.

I do have a quick hot seat cool throwing for you.

So my hot seat today is going to be Stable Ronaldo.

He's a Twitch streamer, also part of the Face Clan.

Yeah.

So he has locked himself in a padded room, like a white padded room.

Doesn't know what time it is until he completes Elden Ring the video game.

Are you guys familiar with Elden Ring the video game?

I am not.

I am.

I recognize the name.

I've never played it or watched it.

Okay, so Elden Ring is a...

Open world RPG game.

You go, there's a couple different builds you can pick from, different weapons you you equip, and you go out and you have to defeat these bosses, right?

To get to the end game.

It took him roughly seven hours and 165 attempts to defeat the first boss, Morgat.

And since he is in this padded room, I've got him in the hot seat because I'm a little worried he's going to go insane.

He's in isolation for the game.

Yes.

Does he have like food?

Food.

There's a bathroom in there.

He also doesn't know what time it is, and he lost track of time super early on, like hour two or three.

So if he continues this track of like eight hours per boss there's 13 there's 13 uh mandatory bosses to beat the game but uh morgus one of the easiest bosses so 165 attempts on the first boss he's setting a pace for for maybe insanity yeah so what's the math on that you said 13 bosses 13 mandatory ones 13 mandatory bosses

he's going to be in there for like a week i hopefully not but it could be a week yeah definitely it could be longer yeah he's he might go insane there's a chance it's a good idea though

is this different than Skyrim?

Yeah.

Yes.

What's that?

Isn't that like Elder Ring?

It's similar.

Skyrim was...

Put some Skyrim.

Yeah, no, that's what I thought.

Oh, Elder Scrolls.

Sorry, sorry.

That was a stupid question.

I apologize, Zach.

Oh, no worries, Max.

All right.

That's why I got in the hot seat.

I do have a cool throne as well.

My cool throne goes to the creators of South Park because they struck a deal with Paramount for $1.5 billion over the next five years.

Good for them.

You guys into South Park?

Yeah.

Trey and Matt?

That's correct.

Legends of the game?

Yes.

I actually think somebody tweeted Basketball at me for Best Bad Movie.

I would agree.

That's a very funny movie.

Good movie, though?

Yeah, good movie.

I liked it.

Fair.

Yeah.

So they got fucking paid, huh?

Five years.

They got to do 10 new episodes a year.

And then streaming rights to Paramount.

That's nothing.

That's so easy.

I think it's awesome.

Good for five, insane payout.

Good for them.

Super cool throwing that.

That's pretty still very fun.

We got to sell like

our Bitcoin.

Our podcast, though.

We need like...

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

Well, no, like, we need, what do you call them?

Residuals.

Yeah.

So we air the pod, like, old podcast reruns.

Yeah.

And we get paid off those.

Like, they're getting paid for not really new episodes, just having their old episodes on Paramount.

Yeah, that's a good idea, Hank.

Like, if if you want to, yeah, Spotify, you want to go back and listen to them.

I actually think we still might kind of, in a roundabout way, get paid off that.

Yeah, we should.

Because they total up all the listens that we've had after a certain amount of time.

Yeah.

But yeah, reruns of the podcast game.

That's a game changer.

We got it.

Maybe, maybe reruns of the podcast game with

our commentary on top.

Yeah.

Or what if we did like a like a

basically like took all of our like stories and put it into like something and people could read it.

Nah.

Man, that probably would never work.

What if we did a summer vacation or we just did reruns while we were on vacation?

Yeah, I bet you would like that.

You should do that.

Yeah, Hank would love that.

Hank would just be like, no, don't worry.

The numbers are fine.

People like listening to March Madness 2019 in the middle of August.

Yeah, but think about how happy they would be when football is back and so are we.

That's true.

yeah but we're part of people's everyday lives yeah but summer people want to take it gives them time to take off too we're thinking about them yeah i think that you could go back and get think of like the best episode ever and they would and the a lot of listeners have never listened to that episode yeah okay then and then what about the other uh 30 episode days in the summer go back to the vault yeah there's a big vault open the vault up you're not thinking about the vault

i think we're doing just fine.

What if you just re-record every podcast episode like Taylor Swift is?

Yes, that's Madder Ghostwriter.

There you go.

That's a good idea, man.

Every single one.

I like that.

That's not a bad idea.

I like that.

Especially the one where we talked about Taylor Swift.

Yeah.

Then we get all the money.

Yeah.

Okay.

Let's do our Mount Rushmore.

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Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

Mount Rushmore of Basic Girl Instagram captions.

Yep.

Hank has been wanting to do this Mount Rushmore for

years?

A long time.

Years.

Well, I've thrown it out.

It was kind of like a running, like, internal, maybe just an inside joke with myself where people will in the group text throw out, you know, we need Mount Rushmore suggestions.

And I would say this, and then it would just get ignored.

Yeah, it's been something else with you.

You didn't feel seen?

No, it was more just like, how many times will I say this before someone at least acknowledges that just no or say no?

It's been a passion project for you.

It's been something that you've been very, very interested in for a long time.

And as I realized.

He reads Instagram for the captions.

He doesn't even look at the pictures.

Right.

And then as I realized I was making this list, I was like, maybe this won't be the best Mount Rushmore.

But that's all right.

Okay.

I think it's going to be good.

We also should note that.

You could easily do the Mount Rushmore basic guy Instagram captions, and it would be a lot of our captions of football is back.

Can't wait for football.

Maybe we will.

Maybe we'll do.

this week.

We'll do that.

That's the over.

Worst, best movies and basic guy Instagram captions.

Yeah.

Someone give me a bet.

These are all of our captions.

All right, we ready to go?

Who's up first?

We are up first.

Oh, a lot of pressure.

Conair.

Conair.

Do you want to talk about the Con Air pick?

Conair is a great movie.

I agree.

I like Conair a lot.

It didn't really play well with the rest of the selections that were out there.

I understand the criticism behind Conair.

I got to look in the mirror.

It's a really good movie.

I'm going to do the thing that a coach does when he's just got a shitty, abysmal team.

It starts with me.

I got to take a long look in the mirror.

It starts and it ends with me.

I let the whole team.

And Hank, especially Hank.

I was going to say,

doesn't matter whose pick it was and who wanted to choose it.

I was the one that said it.

And, you know,

as the person who was the captain of the day, I needed to, you know, make the right choice.

And I didn't.

Man in the arena.

Man in in the arena.

So we're in last place now?

Dead last.

I believe that's 70.

Big Cat and Zach were crying after two Mount Rushmores.

No, we were.

I actually told you.

We got a regroup.

I figured it out.

We had a bad start.

We didn't get our first.

Oh, do you still want to do the solo one soon?

Yeah, we can.

Okay.

Zach and I,

we had a meeting where we were like, we're just, we're fumbling this, and we're, we got to stay strong, don't break.

Stay strong, don't break.

It's still anybody's game.

Zach also does this thing where he goes around and just asks everybody what they're thinking.

He's like, oh, I'm so likable.

What's your pick?

Oh, wow.

Memes.

Listen,

I didn't know when Memes was going to turn on Zach, but it's happening.

Wait, other people in the office?

No, no, I just outwardly just bounce things off.

I just hear ideas.

I don't take any of them down.

I would like to note if we're just airing things out.

Pex and Memes were in the kitchen for the movies draft with two of our very notable known movie guys.

Who's that?

Just two dudes I know that know movies a lot.

Not sure who they were, but I just heard them know a lot of movies.

Who?

Two dudes that you know that no movies.

Shane, Shane and Shane and Jack.

Two certified movie guys.

Yeah, I'm not.

Okay.

That doesn't count.

Well, they are certified bad movie guys.

Just glad we're all here to rush more.

So, memes, you've turned on Zach.

No, no, no.

I think he's just playing like the, oh, I don't know anything.

Oh, yeah, he's a rally.

He's turned on Zach.

Memes turns on everyone, Zach.

Don't worry.

He hates all of our guts.

It sounds like Zach is also kind of turned on Max.

I didn't say a thing.

No, I I didn't think Max is boothing either.

Is it Booth in crisis?

Why?

I mean, PFT just made that up out of nowhere.

It's like you guys were getting tips.

That, I mean, can I tell, can I maybe bring a story that will bring us back together?

When Zach and I were meeting to do this Mount Rushmore,

we were looking,

doing some research on Instagram, and all I, and then I just hear Zach say, oops.

And I said, what happened?

He said, I just liked a picture from 2022.

And I was like, well, you got to keep that like.

Who was it, Zach?

It was a hot chick.

It was a bad look.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, was it like someone, a hot chick you know, or like a hot chick with a bunch of followers?

That's the issue.

Hot chick, I know.

Oh, like an attractive woman that I know.

That's so much worse because she'll see it.

It's just like a celebrity.

Who cares?

That's tough.

Tough start to the day.

But maybe, I mean, you know, now you're, now you're rising star.

Maybe that's like

the spark she needs.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That would, I mean, she, yeah, she comes back to her Instagram.

She's like, ooh, Zach.

I do like how.

Oh, and he's also like, he's known now, and now

he's revisiting 2022.

She thought she missed her chance with you.

Zach, I have one very important question for you.

Yes, sir.

This person that you liked their Instagram from 2022.

How old is this person?

26.

Okay.

Because that could have gotten dangerous.

What do you mean?

If the person was 21 and he liked a picture from 2022.

Oh, yeah.

That's a landish anime.

That could have been a bad situation.

26-year-old.

That's fair.

Confirmed.

I can get a birth date if we need to do that.

Okay.

I trust you.

I'd like to see the certificate.

It is funny that you can trace every beef on Pardon My Take has its genesis somewhere in Mount Rushmore season.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The death of this podcast will happen during Mount Rushmore season.

That is a fact.

Either that or, well, actually, no, because if Yelich wins a home run derby, it will be during Mount Rushmore season.

We should get the...

What's the, what's it doomsday clock?

We need a doomsday clock for, for pardon my take.

We just need like a.

Does it get closer?

Right now we're at like.

We need a clock.

We need a clock center.

Yeah, we do need a clock center.

So number of hours until football starts.

The Ryan Rasillo clock.

The Ryan Rasillo clock.

We're going to need

the doomsday clock, which is set back to like 11.15 right now.

We're nowhere close to minute.

No, we're in a good spot.

Yeah.

Except for memes.

Or maybe there's just a clock of

last time memes thought about murdering someone on this show, and it's just always at zero days.

Yeah.

That works.

Okay, let's do the Mount Rushmore.

Good preamble, guys.

All right, first pick.

Memes hate Zach.

First pick.

No, no, I like him.

You guys just did the, oh, we stink at this, and then just rattled off three.

Yeah, we got, we had a come to Jesus moment where we got strong.

Didn't break.

All right, 1-1.

I did a thing.

Yeah.

Okay.

Had it on our list.

Could check on our list.

That can mean so many different things.

Yep.

Yep.

The engagement ring is obviously the big one, but then, you know, the first house, people people buy a house, you know, buy a new car.

It's always I did a thing.

A baby.

A baby.

Do they do it for a baby?

I don't think they do it for a baby.

Did they do it for a baby?

Sure.

Yeah, I did a thing.

That's why I did a thing as a hilariously broad basic thing.

I did a thing as crazy.

I think it's funnier if the guy does it.

I did a thing.

Then when they do

get their hair cut, yeah, get a new haircut.

I did a thing.

Get a tattoo.

Yep.

Yep.

Tattoo also plays.

Yep.

All right.

Good.

Hey, great pick, memes.

Good pick.

Good 1-1.

We got our one, one, PFT.

Is this us?

Right?

Yeah.

My heart is full.

Just heart is full.

Heart is full.

Just heart is full.

Could be anything.

Okay.

Could just be a baby.

My heart is full.

Picture of their family.

It was on our list.

Picture of their family.

Yep.

Yep.

Just a picture of the beach.

Mm-hmm.

Picture of a drink.

A thirst trap.

Yep.

Good one.

Good one.

Had it on there.

It's back on the side.

Three and seven.

I think three and seven are great picks.

Yeah, they kind of go together, too.

All right, so our first pick's going to be in my blank era.

So any era where they've just decided they're in a new era.

Could be like a fashion choice, city, whatever.

They're just in their era.

What era are you currently in?

In my tired era, I would say.

Which is always tired.

I think that's probably right.

You're in your golf era.

I'm in my golf era for sure.

You're in your golf era.

I'm in my work era.

What?

I think I'm in my summer era.

I'm in my children era.

Yeah.

What?

Oh, because of golf.

Memes, what era are you in?

In my I Hate Zach era?

No, I love Zach.

Yeah, Memes' eras are just different people that he hates in this show.

Yeah.

Okay.

That is a good thing.

Chase Outley's coming up, and you'll hear that, too.

Yeah, you will.

And then

any Taylor Swift lyric is our next pick.

just any taylor swift lyric they just throw it on there look what you made me do yeah just literally any taylor swift lyric and they that can fit to any mood anything they're doing at any time shade never made anyone less gay you didn't like that pick hank

that was a good pick oh okay what i didn't i didn't say anything you did a lot you went like this

Sometimes I just hope Max starts fighting.

I'm not going.

I'm not.

I'm not going to.

Well, no, it's interesting.

It's broad.

Big Get's definitely the biggest Taylor Swift fan on this podcast.

Easily.

Documented.

Easily.

And to go back to back, bona fide Swifty.

Double dipping.

Bona fide Swifty.

It's broad, but that's fine.

All right.

I didn't object.

Okay.

They're called Women Hank.

Is that us, you?

It's you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Or, yeah.

Yeah, well, yeah, that's pretty much Hank.

Like, Hank, Hank.

This is Hank's.

Yeah, this is Hank.

Yeah.

Listen, I hate when you guys fucking do this every fucking time.

No one ever has suggestions from Mel Rushmores.

No one.

We need Mel Rushmores.

I throw out a suggestion.

Got for it.

Then we choose it.

We're like, this is Hanks.

Hank, Hank, Hank.

I just like that.

Maybe someone else should suggest to Mel Rushmore.

Maybe then it won't be me.

You guys don't do anything.

All I did was say it was just turn.

Don't do anything.

Do we want Hank to work or do we not want Hank to work?

We need to make up our mind.

We just got accused of not doing anything.

All right, so we're going to go.

Actually.

I'm in my not doing anything era.

Hank, this one is mine.

This was my contribution to the list.

Yeah, but

this is his Mount Rushmore.

It's his Mount Rushmore.

Everything is ours, PFT.

I didn't say you picked Conair.

I said, I did.

But I said, what do you want?

One more.

You said, Conair.

I want a Kangaroo Jack.

That doesn't matter, though.

I picked.

I did.

All right.

Our second pick is felt cute.

Might delete later.

Yep.

Yep.

Never gets deleted.

Yep.

0% deletion rate rate on a Mike Delete.

Always, always, always.

Good pick.

Thanks.

Good pick, PFT.

I feel like that's more of like a cliche of a caption than like an actual caption.

No, it's an actual caption.

How does something become a cliche?

Good question.

If they're mocking it.

Yeah, they're not actually captioning it at.

They're now mocking

people used to.

There's another one that I also have in that vein that I'll say for honorable mention.

That would be on the Mount Rushmore.

It's a Mount Rushmore.

Is George Washington still alive, Max?

Is Thomas Jefferson still alive?

It's a cliche of

George Washington.

Yeah, I just feel like it's more of a meme than it is, than it is.

Like, no girls will do that in this.

In this day and age, in this era.

You're wrong.

Unless it's an actually disgusting picture and they're

felt cute and might delete later as a joke.

It would be the most active thing.

It would be the most basic affairs.

I feel like someone spent more time thinking about this than I have.

Well, no, you've

also found Mount Rushboard.

Also, Max.

Well, no, you guys give me shit for this capture.

But Max, I like Max's, Max's, Max's breaking it down nicely.

It's a good topic.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I'm

adding to it.

It's a great topic, Hannah.

I'm adding to the rush board.

But no one's thought about this as much as you.

You've been thinking about it for years.

I've always thought this would be a good Mount Rushboard.

Okay, I'm going to go with our next one, Mentally.

I am here.

Ooh,

like that.

That's just like, if it's not summer, it's just like an excuse for girls to post

bikini pictures because it's like, I really wish that I was in the Caribbean in December.

So here's the bikini picture.

Yep.

And, yep.

And the next one we were going to do is Life Lately.

And that's that's just a dump of whatever they're doing at the moment.

Yep.

Yep.

All right.

Good picks.

This is, we're back to Hank again, right?

Yeah, okay.

See the one I have highlighted one?

You guys have a live juice.

I don't see the one you have highlighted.

Do you need a timeout?

No, I mean, it's PFT's.

You want to tell me where on the list of this Hank?

Show me where.

Just rip it.

This is going to involve some counting.

Hank, rip it.

No, it's PFT's ball.

Which rip it.

Hank, which one are you highlighting?

12.

Oh, God.

He's counting.

This is Mike Princessa.

The one that starts with the letter B?

Yeah.

That one doesn't even really work, though.

You don't know what it is?

I don't know.

It took me a second.

Ripping.

You looked at me.

Do it.

You know what I felt like right there?

It's like when Max was at the Eagles game and somebody said, oh, shit, they score here.

I just, I'm ahead on my phone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You believed it for a second.

What else do you think?

Okay.

trust yourself.

On the bottom list, Hank, I like number four.

Trust yourself.

I like number three.

You guys got to trust yourself.

Okay, we're going to trust yourself.

I'm like, all right, yeah.

Let's go for it.

I'm going to go with Hank.

All right, do it.

Booked and busy.

Ooh.

Booked and busy.

Okay.

That's also just.

I know what that means, but Hank, why don't you explain what that means?

That's just like if they're on vacation.

All these are basically just like ways for girls to post like thirst traps or bikini pictures.

And it would be this girl on a beach

and just like booked and busy yeah but she's just on vacation yep all right uh zach i feel strong about our last stay strong don't break i think we go uh pretty easy four and nine i like four and nine

do you like those two do you like nine over eleven hmm yeah i don't really yeah okay we'll go nine and nine okay all right so similar to the vacation one uh

they'll just do like a picture at a beach or something and say never leaving this place When you're on vacation, you literally are going to leave this place.

How does that look on a.

How do you want that to be described on a graphic?

Never leaving this place.

Never leaving this place.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess we could do parentheses vacation.

No, I don't know.

Yeah, never leaving this place.

Never leaving this place.

And then an old classic

one that I think is still around about last night.

And it's just a bunch of pictures of like an awesome party or something.

And it's just like, this is the coolest night ever about last night.

That place.

They usually have like dot dot after it.

Not even three dots, just dot dot.

Yeah.

Hank and I are in a fight right now.

Hey, it's your ball.

I feel strong.

I feel like we stayed strong.

I feel good about this one.

Yep.

Hank feels very strongly about his.

I'm going to go with what Hank said.

XOXO.

XOXO.

Yeah.

No, that, that.

Hugs and kicks.

That's just like when you don't want, you don't have anything to put it for a caption.

Yep.

Again, it's just like they have a they have a hot picture themselves.

Yeah.

They don't actually care what the caption is.

They just want to post a hot picture episode.

Correct.

Okay, last pick.

Should I say it?

Good picking.

Okay, so last one we did mentally I'm here.

So that's when you're

outside of vacation hours, when you're inside of vacation hours, just out of office.

Ooh, out of office.

And it just shows you

on your nice vacation.

Yep.

How do you want that to look on the graphic?

Out of office.

Okay.

Great.

Did no one pick Living My Best Life or was that an early pick?

No one picked that.

That's a big one.

That's a big one.

But I also think that's

in the cliche.

So the one that I was thinking of

as also in cliche is like hot dogs are legs.

Yeah.

Like it's not,

it has become so much of a joke that it's not actually a basic girl Instagram caption.

One that we threw out there based on our research, Zach, liking that picture of 2022,

would you guys have accepted no captioning?

Because I think that's getting hot.

Yep, we have.

Oh.

Well, no, we were going to do

no caption engine.

We had no caption necessary.

We had that one too.

Yeah.

But there also is like the trend of just literally no caption.

Yeah.

Power movie.

Just posting your hottest pictures with no caption.

Or just like an emoji, like a flower emoji.

Sun emoji.

We also thought about doing just

emoji.

Yeah.

The stars one.

Yeah.

Like witchy stars.

Yeah, we had the hand hand, the hand heart.

Yeah.

That was it.

Do not disturb.

Yeah, some of the ones that we're doing.

Do not disturb is a good one.

The city, airplane emoji, city.

Yep.

With vacation picks.

That's more of like a bio.

Yeah.

Like you put that, I'm kind of bi-coastal.

Or red pin city.

Yep.

Like red pin Ibiza.

That's it.

It's tough to.

Yeah, because it's got to be the city.

Although I did,

I threw out

just Miami mode.

Yeah.

Every girl goes to Miami at some point.

Here's another one.

Euro dump.

Yeah.

Euro dump.

We had Q2 dump.

Dump.

Q2 dump.

Ah.

That's a good one.

Blank.

Q2 dump.

That's Big Cat interviewing Trevor Lawrence.

I should start posting my Q2 dump.

My Q2 dump would be bad.

Q2 dump of just all of that.

Just all your shit.

That you took in the past quarter would be hilarious.

You do Euro dump, but it's spelled G-Y-R-O.

Yeah.

If I ever go to Ibiza, Ibiza,

if I ever go to Ibiza, I will do a Ibiza dump with the red pin, and it will just be my shits.

The one that I really liked that Hank talked me out of was New Hair, who this?

Ooh, long hair, don't care.

Long hair, don't care.

Yeah.

I think that, again, is in

my category.

I kind of agree.

What about A Moment for the Dress?

Whenever they get really fancy?

Yep.

That's a good one.

A Moment for the Dress is a really good one.

Yep.

What about Sip Sangria in Repeat?

Ooh, I like that.

that.

I can't say I've ever seen that one.

That was real research.

This is a big.

I have some real research.

This is a big one for summertime because, like, country concerts.

So it's just blank girl with a country twist.

So it's like Chicago girl with the country twist.

They literally just went and stood in a parking lot at the United Center.

They got boots, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Gang's all here.

Yeah.

A theme, you say?

Bet.

I didn't really understand that one.

Twin Flame

for their best friend?

Yep.

Sushi Sunday.

Sushi.

Sushi Sunday.

That's just a thing.

City Girls on Top?

City Girls on Top.

Brad Summers, that's still going on?

DD.

Hot Girl Summers.

What's DD?

That was Do Not Disturb.

Okay.

Real Hot Girl shit.

Real Hot Girl shit.

I like that.

Booked and busy.

Booked him busy.

You picked him up.

We took a business.

Booked and busy.

You specifically asked me to take reading our list.

Yeah, my business.

Booked and busy, I've never seen.

I didn't.

You didn't want to get contentious?

I didn't want to yell at you because we were kind of in a contentious mode there.

That was a terrible pick.

My happy place.

My happy place is good.

Yep.

Catching Flights, Not Feelings.

Did we do that?

I don't know if that's a cliche one.

Yeah, Hank just smirked.

Forever That Girl?

Yep.

chasing sunsets.

Did we do that one?

I think that's a a ch thing that girls do.

I really like Sushi Sunday.

Wish we I think also the sushi sundae.

Well, I think Hank and I might have done some research on the same

from the same book.

I mean, search booked and busy on Instagram, Max.

I'm just seeing.

Basic after basic after basic after basic after basic.

Listen, you're you're the expert in this topic.

No, it's just, you know, it's a group topic.

What about the Knights We'll Never Remember and The Friends We Won't Forget?

That's kind of like a guy one, I think.

Is it?

Yeah.

I was trying to think of one, but it doesn't really work.

Do we add emojis to our captions?

No.

No?

Yeah, too late.

You would probably.

But I want to know what emoji, what are you specifically a book?

The nails.

And a B?

Oh.

The nails getting polished.

The nails.

Stars also.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I was trying to think of

how to describe this one, but one that I see every now and then is like a pregnancy announcement, but it's just

the dog being like,

Otis is going to be a big brother.

That's how they announce it.

Like, well, he's not a human.

He's also pissed.

Yeah.

We had Take Me Back, but it seemed, I thought it was too similar to mentally I'm here.

Yeah.

Take me back.

That's also kind of, yeah.

It's just the girl who was in the winter and wants to post and feels like posting, you know, bikini.

Some hot pictures.

Yeah.

Same time next week or like same time next year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or in like some awesome place.

In my element, did we do that one?

Did you say this is 20-something, PFD?

I did not.

This is 20-something.

Ooh, I like that one.

I like that one.

All right.

I think that was a good Mountain Rush one.

I think Hank is

probably the subject matter expert on this, so you guys are a little bit behind Hank.

You might not be up on both of them.

No, fuck are you talking about?

We all have Instagram.

No, I'm saying, but you obviously know more about it than most of the people.

Why?

Why are you talking about it?

I'm trying to compliment you on how.

How?

I don't understand this.

Booked and busy.

It's a good pick.

You're booked?

You're busy.

You guys are just fighting with each other.

You're on the same team.

I'm trying to gass my boy up.

I'm like,

I just can't.

I don't know who's signed to you.

I was trying to get Big Cat's attention.

I was like, look at them.

There's them fighting with each other.

I'm going to catch you up.

I'm paying you a compliment.

You're slamming the brakes.

Do you have Instagram?

I do have Instagram.

Do you have Instagram?

Yeah.

You guys have Instagram?

Confirm.

Okay, so yeah,

we're all equally as qualified.

Yeah.

A subtle sleigh?

It's a good pick.

Would you say

this whole thing was a subtle sleigh?

Big sleigh.

Is it big sleigh?

I think this is a great Mount Rushman.

Brad as fuck.

This is a very great Mount Rushmore.

I think basic bro Instagrams would work too.

Yeah.

Dude's rock.

Yeah.

Dudes rock.

Dudes Rock is a great man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Real men of genius for anything a dude does.

Football guy.

Oh, a dude's on his lawnmower.

Dudes rock.

He's on lawnmower drinking a beer.

Dudes rock.

Oh, a guy's drinking

with his buddies in the backyard.

Dudes rock.

It goes for everything.

That might just be the Mount Rushmore.

Dudes Rock.

Whoever gets the first pick just wins.

The Mount Vegas wasn't ready.

The Mount Rushmore of Dudes Rocking Moments.

That was a good one.

Like throughout history.

Wasn't ready is actually a good one.

The Big T clip of talking about Wasn't Ready.

Yeah.

Yeah.

X is not ready.

Vegas is not ready.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

Vegas has seen 19-year-old sorority girls before.

They are prepared.

They're absolutely ready.

Nashville, definitely ready for your bachelorette party.

I promise it will be the same when you leave as when you got there.

Is there a part of you, Hank, though, like

you've been wanting to do this Mount Rushver Rushmore for so long?

Now that we've done it, it's like over?

Like, is there a part of you that's going to be like, well, what do I have to look forward to now?

Yeah, I can retire.

Yeah.

Oh.

Are you announcing your retirement?

I've been working on getting this done.

No, I just.

You guys haven't been doing anything.

In the future, Hank is going to be thinking, mentally, I'm here.

He's going to be.

At the Mount Rushmore of Instagram caption drinks.

Memes is now saying that we should do a Mountain Rushmore of Dudes Rock Moments.

Well, that's what PFT said.

I just started.

Oh, you're a good idea, Memes.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That's a great editing.

I started rattling.

Sounds like you're a little too booked and busy, Max.

I started rattling off picks.

Okay, okay.

That's what I mean.

That's on me.

Yep.

Good Mount Rushmore.

Do you feel good, Hank?

I feel great.

I feel like that was good.

I feel like we haven't had one where we got.

It was a really good idea.

it.

I feel like, yeah, I feel like I've justified good producing and trying.

Yeah, that was really good producing.

That was a good Mount Rushmore.

Do you think you have another good Mount Rushmore in you, or is it just back to next mini-golf?

Don't

get them fired up.

Don't get them fired up.

I'll let you pick the next one.

Zach, what are your thoughts on Hank's draft?

I think the draft went well.

I think it was a good topic.

Everybody came with captions.

Good captions, boys.

Who do you think, if you were to do the

Wozniak?

Steve Korzaki.

Howard DeWozi.

That's his job.

Who would you say won?

There's no way to know.

There is no way to know.

Smart guy.

He's a really smart guy.

I feel like things are

good.

Things are great with me and Hank.

We had a players-only meeting.

I think Hank's mad at everyone.

I think he might be mad at me.

I think he's mad at everyone.

He mad at everyone.

Except for Zach.

Anyone who has an Instagram, he's mad at.

Let's get to the chase.

Hank is laser-focused on golf this week.

He's got a big tournament this weekend.

You're going to win.

No, I'm just

trying to do my job.

Yeah.

And then it's like, oh.

He's big slaying.

He's little slaying and big slaying.

You're doing a great job.

Okay.

Sweetie.

That was great, Rushmore.

Let's get to our interview.

We got Chase Utley.

Awesome interview with Chase.

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Chase out.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest.

He is a World Series champion.

It is Chase Utley.

Chase, thank you for coming by.

First question is maybe a stupid question, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

What's cooler winning a World Series or having the nickname the man?

Because having the nickname the man seems like the coolest thing possible.

First off, thanks for having me on the show.

I'm a beautiful setting here.

To answer your question, I mean, you can't go wrong with winning a World Series.

Obviously, Harry Callis

gave me a great nickname that'll kind of follow me forever.

But winning a World Series,

team championship, it doesn't get any better than that.

Yeah.

Or you're the man.

You're the only man.

Yeah.

The man.

Fair.

We had a lot of men.

A lot of men.

But yes, 25 of them.

Yeah.

Who are some of the other men that you played with uh well you had shane victorino on here yeah i imagine he was he was chatting it up quite a bit yeah should actually be a dude i think shane yeah he's a dude he's a dude yeah uh ryan howard big dude man's a man uh jimmy rollins little dude um we had some good pat burl jason worth yeah there's a lot of a lot of amazing players we had jim toy jim toy early in my career he was actually my favorite player growing up really yeah so i remember in spring training they put my locker right next to him which i was kind of in awe i thought it was pretty amazing, a guy that I emulated as a kid in my childhood and wanted to hit like him.

Not quite the same, but I tried.

And then to share a locker next to him was pretty special.

How intimidating was it when you got called up and you're like, oh shit, this is,

he's the strongest guy ever.

Yeah.

Have you met him?

No.

Yeah, but you're right.

He's huge forearms, huge hands, just extremely strong.

But he's like, he's a sweetheart, right?

So he welcomes you into

his family right away.

So it eases the tension a little bit.

So I was, yes, in awe, but he made me feel comfortable.

Yeah.

You guys still keep in touch, the World Series team?

Yeah, yeah, we do.

We played golf last summer

out in the UK.

Yeah,

we have a chat group that we talk a little

smack back and forth.

So do you live in the UK full-time?

We did.

So we just moved back.

You just moved back.

We were in the UK for three years, in London, to be precise.

Okay, so what were you doing?

You were the baseball ambassador to Europe.

To Europe.

Correct.

What does that entail?

Great question.

Have you spent much time in Europe?

No.

I've been once a year.

Yeah.

Baseball isn't a huge sport in Europe.

So

one, it was a family adventure that my wife and I wanted to go on.

And two, have the ability to promote a sport that I love.

So essentially promoting baseball.

There's been some games in London the past several years which were huge successes.

just promote it, get it on everyone's radar.

You have soccer slash, it's really football, is what they call it, is a huge sport there.

So it's hard to kind of

get inside of that sport, but we're working on it.

Are you trying to steal some of the market share away from cricket?

I mean, ideally, that'd be great.

I mean, cricket is a huge sport as well, huge all around the world, India to be precise.

But yeah,

it's a very traditional sport in the UK.

It's like baseball it is to the...

the United States, America's pastime.

So just trying to just kind of infiltrate a little bit and get baseball on people's radars.

Was part of your job teaching Europeans how to throw?

Because Europeans throwing is so funny.

You just forget they don't throw.

Like they don't throw.

You're right.

They don't.

If you kick them a ball, they'll be able to juggle it.

When like a two-year-old will be able to have like the foot control of Messi.

But if they try to throw a baseball, they look like the dumbest people in the world.

Yeah, yeah.

Their skill set with their feet is pretty spectacular.

But you're right.

Their throwing aspect is

not necessarily there.

So I was a coach for my son's middle school baseball team.

And of the 17 kids that played, there were probably four or five that had played organized baseball before, kind of knew what was going on.

There were a few that had maybe played with their dads in the past, and there were a handful that had never touched a baseball in their life.

So that was an interesting conversation of trying to get them to understand like body awareness and how to hold the ball.

Right.

I try to keep it easy for them, but yeah, the throwing motion is not a natural thing.

Did your son dominate?

Yeah,

he was pretty good.

I'm not sure he would be as good in the States.

Yeah.

Yeah, over there, yeah.

But that might be like a parenting hack right there.

Like, I have three kids.

I might just move them to England for three years so they can dominate in baseball and like football.

Fantastic idea.

Get the confidence up, come back.

Maybe it doesn't go so well here, but at least you had those years, those glory days.

Yeah, yeah, I like that.

I worked with Ashton Ginty, right?

He played football.

over in Germany for like the first, I want to say like 15 or 16 years of his life.

Then he came back over and he was like, I'm the man.

Yeah.

And he just kept being the man.

Yeah.

Much like you.

Yeah.

The man.

I love it.

You guys are good.

Was there an age when you realized that you were going to be the man?

Like, when was baseball like, oh, this is actually a future?

Probably not until high school, to be honest.

I played a bunch of different sports growing up, like majority of my friends did.

Majority of guys that my generation did.

Played a bunch of basketball, played baseball, played soccer.

We played street hockey.

We played it all.

Probably in high high school is when I probably started separating myself a bit from my peers on the baseball field.

I was a little guy and I started to grow a bit in high school.

And that's kind of when I started to, actually, this could be an opportunity.

Yeah.

And so you got drafted by the Dodgers, your hometown team, and then you're like, no, I'm going to go to UCLA.

Was that a hard decision?

It was a hard decision.

Yeah, I was drafted in the second round, so like

pretty high up there.

And, you know,

I had my dad negotiate with the Dodgers.

And we got to a point where it was getting close, it made some sense.

I said, all right, well, I'm going to go down with my high school buddies on our senior trip down to Cabo San Lucas.

And when we come back,

we'll finalize everything.

Went down there for a week with a bunch of my buddies.

And then just kind of slowly over the course of that week realized that I think I wanted to go to college.

I wanted to kind of experience the college atmosphere in my college year.

So I came back and told my parents that I didn't want to sign professionally.

I wanted to go to school, continue my education as well as my baseball education.

And luckily it worked out.

Yeah, it worked out because then you ended up being, what, the 15th pick?

So by the Phillies, yeah, yeah.

You've done your homework.

Yeah.

I mean, well, I saw, when I saw it, I was reading about it.

I was like, he got $875,000 offered from the Dodgers when he was in high school, and he turned it down.

Like, what an idiot.

But then I was like, he went to UCLA and then it ended up being like 1.8 or whatever it is.

in a first rounder.

Pretty good bet on yourself.

It was a, it was a bet on myself, but also the, I felt like if baseball was really meant to be, I would still, I would still have an opportunity after college.

Yeah.

I think, I mean, especially looking back on it, those college years are

imperative for me growing up as a young adult, navigating on my own and also still continue to build my baseball skills.

Yeah.

So you get 1.8 right out of college and then you have to,

which is pretty incredible.

You have to pay tax on that.

That's Which I didn't really realize.

So you only got a million dollars when you graduated from college.

I think a lot of people would not be able to handle that

right off the bat.

How were you able to get through that and focus on what you had to do to actually be good at the job that you already got paid to do?

My goal is to be the best player I could be.

I know everyone says that, but truly that was my goal, is to try to continue to improve.

And obviously, yeah, having some money in the bank was nice.

I started investing it.

It wasn't the best time to invest it, considering it was like the summer of 2000, and then the bubble hit.

So that was my first experience of the stock market and thinking, wait, maybe this, not sure what's

not all cracked up what it's supposed to be.

But yeah, enjoyed it.

I just wanted to improve.

So luckily, I've had some great coaches on my side in high school and college that kind of motivated me and pushed me to be the best I could.

And again, luckily I had some great coaches in the minor leagues as well.

Yeah, it worked worked out really well for you, obviously.

You had a great career.

You were adored by the citizens of Philadelphia.

The entire city loves you.

But I think you were maybe the most hated player by all the teams that the Phillies were playing against.

How long did it take for you to be okay with being hated?

Actually, from, I don't know, about day one.

Yeah.

I remember my first at-bat in the big leagues.

We were in Philadelphia at Veterans Stadium, and I was, I think I pinch hit late in the game.

We were getting, we were getting killed at the time and I and I felt like I was having a good at-bat foul and pitch after pitch off probably seven or eight nine pitches later I ended up striking out and as I'm walking back to the dugout the home fans of Philadelphia just boo me all the way back to the dugout so that was a quick reality of like okay you have to have some thick skin here if you're if your home fans are gonna boo you so

going to an opposing stadium I always felt like if they're gonna they're booing you for a reason right they're trying to get under your skin and and I tried my best to not let it affect me.

Have you ever heard somebody say, Fuck Chase Utley in the wild, that when they didn't know that you were there?

Plenty of times.

Oh, didn't know I was there.

Yeah, and you're like, hey, hey, that's me.

Wait a second.

No, I'm not sure I've heard that.

Definitely plenty of times where I'm on the field or hanging around the stadium.

Yes, I've definitely heard that.

And I appreciate it.

Yeah.

I love this fan support.

Yeah.

Wait, so your first hit in the big leagues is a home run, and you sprinted around the bases.

I did.

16.3 seconds.

Kind of a try-hard move, wouldn't you say?

Well, that was fired up.

I mean, think about it.

You get to the big leagues, you get a hit, and it's actually a home run, and it was the grand slam.

Yeah.

So, yeah, super fired up.

I didn't really feel my feet.

You're just kind of sprinting around the bases.

I mean, I've always kind of run hard a lot and not tried to show up to the other team.

That was probably a little bit exaggerated.

Yeah.

Looking back on it, I'm not sure I would change it, but it's really fast.

That's really fast.

It was moving.

That's really fast.

Should have enjoyed it more.

I definitely should have enjoyed it more.

Yeah.

Did you ever sprint to first base on a walk?

Never.

Yeah.

That's a move.

There were a few college teams that did that, and I didn't think that was appropriate.

Not part of the game.

No.

Yeah.

I want to ask you about a great play that you made in the World Series, the pump fake to first base throw home.

It might be the best pump fake in the history of baseball.

Did you know that you were going to pump fake it?

Not when it was first hit.

No.

I mean, you have this internal time clock in your head as you're going for the ball.

I was shifted, not to get too many details, but I was shifted towards the first base because we had a left-handed pitcher that threw sinkers in, so most left-handed hitters pulled the ball.

And he hit the opposite direction of where I was actually playing.

So it was kind of a long run to get there.

I knew the run on second base mattered.

That mattered more than the guy in the batter's box.

So as soon as I caught it, I realized, like, I'm not sure I'm going to have much of a play.

So maybe pump fake it and see what happens.

And it was an aggressive base running move.

Luckily,

Carlos Rees made a good catch and tag.

Yeah, it was a sick play.

It was a a great pump fake.

Because watching it back, I was like, I don't think he knew he was going to pump fake until the very last second, which made it such a good play.

You're absolutely right.

You're absolutely right.

Yeah, because, like I said, this internal time clock that you have, you just realize something's, this isn't, maybe I make a perfect throw and he's out, but maybe not.

Maybe I throw it away, unclear what could happen.

So it was better to keep it in my hand and try with the next guy.

Luckily, he kept going.

Yeah.

And playing second base, so you coming up, you played shortstop in third base, right?

And you and you get moved to second base.

Did you take that as like a insult?

Or were you like, I'm, because, you know, it, it's a different position.

It's obviously third baseman's got a really strong arm.

Was there any part of you like, what the fuck?

I'm a third baseman.

I could play this position.

No, I was a shortstop in college my first, my freshman year.

And after making 30-something errors, my freshman year,

I wasn't really, I wasn't really a shortstop.

I didn't have the athleticism or the arm strength to really play a shortstop.

That's when I moved to second base, and I was happy to.

Yeah.

It's not an an easy position, but it's an easier position than shortstop.

I think shortstop is the hardest position on the entire baseball field.

And guys that are successful at it and make it look easy, it's pretty special.

Do you think you could, like, was there a point where you could

turn a double play with Jimmy Rollins with your eyes closed?

Both of you guys having your eyes closed?

We turned a lot of double plays.

Yeah, you guys had it down.

Yeah, maybe not.

Maybe sometimes I might have had my eyes closed, to be honest with you.

But no, he was, he was, he was, when I talk about great shortstops, he was one of the greatest shortstops because he would always give me great feeds.

So it was hard for me to kind of screw it up, even though I did screw some up.

But most of the time, he would give me a perfect feed and make it an easy, easy double play.

So I was, again, lucky to have him

on the other side.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you know where you rank in hit-by-pitches all time?

It's funny.

Funny you bring that up.

My son actually, recently,

I think we were watching a game and somebody got hit.

And my son looks at me and goes, do you think that hurt?

I was like, yeah, probably hurt, but it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

Um, and he's like, Dad, don't you have like a record for getting hit by pitches?

Yeah.

And I was like, I've had hit, I got hit by a lot of pitches.

Yeah.

Um, but yeah, I think it's in the top 10 all day.

I'm not sure it's a stat that, like, is that impressive?

Oh, it definitely is.

You're ninth all time in the history of Major League Baseball.

You're ninth.

You also got hit by a pitch three times in a single game.

Uh, that is impressive.

That's as tough as tough could be.

Was there a specific one where you're like, oh man, that one?

There's a few.

I think about it.

I got hit in the hand.

I broke my hand.

That bad.

So I think about that one because it took me out a month.

And that was in 2007.

And we were having a I was I personally were having a good season as a team, but I personally was having a really good season.

So that slowed me down a little bit.

The one that hurt the most, I got hit like underneath the bicep one time that my whole arm went numb and my hands like crunched together, and I couldn't.

Got you on the nerve.

Yeah, yeah.

It got me on a nerve.

It probably took, I don't know, a minute or so.

It felt like eternity.

It probably took a minute for my hands to like peel back.

That one I remember quite a bit.

And did you ever have a like getting hit by a pitch, and then the next time you're in the box having like a little hesitancy?

Because that would be a natural human reaction.

Yeah, no, to be honest with you.

No, I mean, there's a few pitchers that I faced that were fairly intimidating, like Eroldis Chapman being big, tall, left-hander, kind of of throws from here and throws 100 and something and he didn't know where it was going it was a lead was a little wreck so he I was slightly like most lefties were slightly uncomfortable facing him yeah do you have one that you remember that you're like that kind of felt good yeah there's a bunch of them especially like if it if the bases are loaded those felt good yeah um get on base I mean, I had Ryan Howard hitting behind me, Jason Wirth, sometimes Pat Burrell hitting behind me.

So we had some big power hitters hitting behind me.

So anytime I can get on base, I felt like it was an advantage to us.

Yeah.

You're a guy that I could imagine at some point got hit by a pitch because you pimped getting hit by a pitch.

Like you got hit by a pitch, you know what I'm saying?

And then you like started running to first base and you're like flexing a little bit, bat flip.

You're like, that was awesome.

That felt great.

They're like, you can't show me up getting hit by my pitch.

I tried to show you again.

I mean,

I tried not to show much emotion out there for whatever reason.

That's kind of how I was taught at a young age.

And I stuck to it.

Jimmy Rollins used to give me shit all the time of like, dude, you got to smile a little bit more.

You got to show a little bit of emotion.

I just couldn't do it.

That was not in my MO.

Were you like that in the clubhouse or just like out on the field?

Yeah, probably a few hours before game time is when it started for me.

It was fairly loose prior to that, but once it got closer to game time, it was like, put your game face on and stuck with it.

Well, Jimmy claims that he made you laugh all the time, but you just always had your glove over your mouth.

True.

So on the field, you were laughing.

True.

That is true.

As I got a little bullet, for sure.

Yeah.

Well, Jimmy's a funny guy.

Yeah.

I can't necessarily repeat everything we were laughing about, but yeah.

But for whatever reason,

I didn't feel that it was appropriate for the camera to see me smiling.

Looking back on it.

Looking back on it, maybe I wish I did a little bit more, but it is what it is.

Playing the game hard the right way.

Sounds like a guy who runs the home run running.

16 seconds.

That's so bad.

That's so fast, dude.

That's so fast.

Speaking of playing the game the hard way, you have a rule named after you.

Yeah.

Chase Etley rule.

Can't break up a double play.

I miss it.

I know it's player safety.

Do you think that, like, there was just something about it where it's like, you know, a guy's, he's, he's going to be out at second, but he can really fuck this up by sliding in.

Right.

I miss that part of the game.

Do you think like there's part of you that like, man, that's well, I mean, I think it depends on how you grew up.

I grew up watching baseball in the,

when I remember, like mid 80s.

uh late 80s early 90s and that's how guys went in hard all the time and shortstops and second basemans were aware of the guys that came in harder than others so yeah i i miss it because that's how i grew up watching it i understand the aspect of keeping guys safer and it's definitely going to keep guys safer same with the home plate uh rule now that's going to keep guys on the field um a lot longer i mean as a second baseman i had my fair share of getting flipped and spiked and and and smashed all the time and it was part of the game and you you don't necessarily like it in the moment but you understand that it's part of it yeah yeah Like for you specifically, it's like if you do it at second base, you know they're going to have the opportunity to do it back to you.

Yes, of course.

You're going to, you're going to deal with the receiving innovation.

No, and I remember as I started to do a little bit more due diligence, as I got a little bit older on who we're playing,

how I want to position myself, understanding the runners that come in hard.

Scott Rowland, the Hall of Famer, played for the Phillies and went to the

Cardinals and Reds.

He came in hot every time.

And we knew it as infielders.

So we knew, like Jimmy and I would have a conversation, Scott Rowan's on first base,

ground ball, double play, get me the ball quick.

Give me the ball quick so I can get it and get out of the way because he was not scared and he was coming for you.

And I mean, you appreciate that as a baseball player.

But yeah, you needed to be aware of some guys coming in hot.

Yeah, for player safety, how bad was the vet?

Because we've heard about it.

Well, I mean, I played probably, I don't know, 30 or 40 games there at most, and it was my rookie season.

So I was so much better than the AAA stadium, right?

So it wasn't, to me, it wasn't bad in the moment.

I mean, looking back, yeah, it was old.

It was run down.

They didn't put much money into it knowing that they're going to have a brand new stadium.

But I was just, I was happy to be there.

So taking ground balls in a major league field, regardless of what field I was happy with.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

I got a really dumb question for you.

You had a 35-game hit streak.

Was there any point during the hit streak where you were like, yeah, I'm just going to get hit every day for the rest of my life?

Because Because I would definitely think that.

Like, I'm the type of guy who, like, if I hit like three free throws, I'm like, maybe I missed my last free throw.

Yeah, I mean, there is a, I mean, I think in any athlete's career, they go through moments where they just feel invincible, right?

And in those, those short streaks, yeah, you feel like you can do whatever you want.

That's not a short streak, by the way.

35 games is not a short streak.

Right, right, right.

But during that, it's not like those 35 games, I didn't feel great every game, right?

There's, you know, bits and pieces of that where I didn't feel very good.

And I was able to leg out a hit or hit a swinging bunt or bloop one over someone's head.

But yeah, there are certain moments in there that, yeah, you can feel, you feel like you're going to get a hit no matter what.

Yeah.

And then vice versa, there's some times out there, you could probably talk to a lot of guys that think there's no way I'm ever going to get a hit again.

Right.

Those are

tough pills to swallow, but you just, you kind of go, stick with the program, what got you there.

So it feels like there was maybe one or two days where you're like, yeah, I think I've solved baseball.

Yeah, maybe if that's a good thing.

It's got to be a good thing.

Seven or eight of those days.

It is a good feeling.

Unfortunately, it just doesn't last.

It doesn't last long enough.

But any hitter at the major leagues

that has had some success will tell you, yeah, there are times where you feel like the ball looks like a beach ball and you're going to hit it

no matter where it's going to fall.

During that streak, are you superstitious?

Were you doing anything that was the same?

I am superstitious.

I don't remember exactly what I was doing, but for 100%, I was doing the same shit every single day.

I mean, I would put my, I mean, stupid corny stuff.

I would put my left sock on before I put my right sock on.

That was like a constant throughout my career.

That's not corny.

You're the guy with 35-game history.

That's not corny.

I've never done that.

Maybe I could be really good at basically.

I would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before the game.

Okay.

And I started that in the minor leagues because, as you can imagine, the minor league spread isn't.

quite like the big league spread.

So the only, sometimes the only thing available is making yourself a PPNJ.

So I stuck with that that even in the big leagues, even though there was plenty of great food.

So you ate that every game?

Pretty much.

Pretty much every game.

We need to have that on a graphic, just being like Chase Unleigh, you know, however.

I'm not sure.

I'm proud of that.

How many games did you play?

You got the phone right there.

Yeah, I know.

I got to find it.

So did you tell the kids in England, hey, you put your left sock on before you're right sock?

No, no, there were other things I needed to get.

through doing before that.

I mean, that's step one, though.

That's getting dressed.

Step one is like,

what hand to put your glove on.

I think that's

definitely a conversation we had

you know we had an end-of-the-season tournament this year we went to Frankfurt so we traveled to Frankfurt there were a handful of other teams from throughout Europe that were there and I mean this is a big end-of-year tournament everyone's excited for it and one kid comes up on the day of the game he's like oh coach I forgot my glove

How do you forget your glove in the biggest tournament of the year?

He's like, I don't know.

I just forgot it.

I'm like, well, can you borrow someone else's?

He's like, well, I'm left-handed.

I was like, well, okay.

Well, so I guess you're probably not going to play this week, but go ahead and have fun.

Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Go to a baseball store?

And then you got to pinch it.

He got to hit, but yeah,

no defense.

So, yeah, to answer your question, no, I did not talk about superstitions to them.

It was more just

easy fundamentals.

Yeah.

All right.

So Chase Hutley ate 1,937 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a day this quarter.

That's pretty crazy.

It might be a record.

Probably more, actually.

Yeah.

Not Probably doubled up a couple times too.

Does that include this season?

I think it does.

Okay.

Did you ever change it up?

What jelly?

Whatever was available.

So you're not.

I was not particular.

I was not particular.

I prefer the creamy peanut butter over the

chunky one, but if that's all they had, whiter wheat.

Again, whatever they had.

Probably white because I was in majority of clubhouses.

We

not

so much.

This is the portion of the podcast, like when you see

fake influencers or like how what's your why?

How did you get so successful?

We're just gonna just really drill down on what's in this peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

What made you great?

You got some protein, you got some carbohydrates, you got some sugar in there to get you ready for the game.

I'm not sure I'm a known nutritionist, but not terrible.

Well, which hand would you use for the knife?

Because you use different hands to bat and throw.

Yeah.

Good question.

Good question.

And I didn't.

I would typically wash my hands out.

There are times I've gone out in the field with like

jelly on my

bag.

Like if I handed you two pieces of bread right now,

which I would go left.

You would go left hand on the knife or left hand on the bread?

No, I would go left hand

bread, right-hand knife.

And I would start with the left.

Would you cut it after or you just eat it whole?

Like, would you cut it in half?

Do that.

Great questions.

You know, the fancy thing?

I would usually cut it in half.

You would.

Triangles or rectangles?

You go across the diagonal?

No, no, I would go rectangles.

Okay.

Trectangles.

No, no triangles.

Ever toast the bread?

No, never.

Okay.

Always eat the crust?

Always.

Always eat the crust.

Okay.

Always.

Any milk with it?

No milk.

Water?

Water.

You're not a dairy guy, right?

What's that?

You're not a big dairy guy, right?

During a certain portion of my career, no, I was dairy-free.

Why?

Why?

I was having knee issues, and

they were killing me.

And

I needed to make some adjustments.

So I checked a bunch of different boxes on trying to get this inflammation and this pain out of my knees.

And that was one of the boxes I checked.

And I told myself, I'm going to do it for a month.

Not that I want to do it, but I feel like this could be beneficial.

I did it for a month, and probably about three weeks into it, honestly, I felt so much better.

Really?

My body, yes.

I mean, I was doing some other things as well, but my body just felt fresher.

This was during the middle of the season.

So you're playing every single night.

You wake up in the morning, something hurts, your ankles hurt, your knees hurt, your backs hurts.

I remember a particular morning waking up and getting out of bed and walking, and I didn't, I had zero pain.

And the light bulb went off, and I attributed it to the lack of dairy at the time so I stuck with it for a while yeah I'm back on it okay because I was gonna say this is a problem because I just purchased a soft serve ice cream industrial soft serve ice cream machine for our office and now this is like yes I missed it tremendously yeah but you also felt awesome and I feel like shit yeah and I the only thing I do to fix feeling like shit is eating more ice cream Yeah, that's probably not a great shit.

No, that works.

It makes me happy.

It makes you happy.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Momentary happiness.

I understood.

So what about pizza?

Yeah.

Now?

Then, no.

I was the guy that ordered pizza with no cheese.

No cheese on pizza?

No cheese on pizza.

He was a good.

I feel like a guy who runs a base of 16.

That's what this sounds like.

Was that good?

Did you convince yourself?

It was good enough.

It was better than nothing.

But it's funny because who do we, oh, it was Joe Kim No, who NBA player,

he said that what people don't realize, fans don't realize is like being great is really boring because because like it's just you have to have a routine.

Did you feel that way where it's like people think it's a glamorous life, but it's like, no, I have to not eat dairy and do the things.

It was a great, it was a great lifestyle, right?

You get to play a sport that you grew up playing as a kid.

You get to travel.

You get some money in the bank.

You're part of a team.

But yeah, there's definitely some plenty of sacrifices that guys have to make from a hanging out with your buddies, going to parties, missing weddings, missing birthdays, missing kids being born.

That happens all the time.

But it's part of the program.

You have to be, unfortunately, you have to be a little selfish to,

in my opinion, to have like, to be really successful at a sport.

Yeah.

Really anything, to be honest with you.

Yeah.

Our producer, Max, is a giant Phillies fan.

Love it.

Yeah, we introduced you a little bit before you jumped on.

I know he's got a couple questions for you.

So Max, bring it up.

Let him have it.

Don't step on anything.

You don't have any valuables on the floor, do you?

Because

Max will destroy it.

He can't get the...

What's going on with the mic?

Struggling with the mic.

Struggling with the mic.

I'm back, though.

Fix the mic.

First question.

This was a very big moment in my life as a child.

The 08 parade.

Yeah.

World fucking champions.

That was back at a time where cursing on TV wasn't necessarily

as

accepted as it is now.

Was that something that you went into that day thinking you were going to do?

Or was that just feeling the moment?

Yeah, feeling the moment.

I mean, it started early right and you can imagine the the few days leading up to that of just celebrating a world series victory so yeah so it started early we're on these floats we're traveling around downtown philadelphia and there's million literally millions of people were you i was there yeah so millions of people just out there supporting us um beers are flowing everyone's having a great time Then we get to the ballpark and we all get on stage.

We had no idea that we were going to, someone was going to put a microphone in front of us.

And sure enough, they did.

And I was energized along with everyone else.

And I kind of came out what I was feeling.

I got some grief for it, but mainly a lot of high fives.

I think that definitely, definitely more celebrating.

You taught back to the F-word.

No, no, I mean, that was awesome.

That was way too much.

Well, I remember.

No, I remember.

I mean, one of the things, I was, at the time, I was sponsored by Utz Potato Chips.

Oh, yeah.

Which kind of was fitting.

Yeah.

But after the F-bomb, no longer they dropped you no maybe it was just maybe it was just that type of maybe it was just cool you're a potato chip

that's insane yeah i know and i like those chips those they're good chips good prep them too yeah but fuck them yeah

they're on site for us yeah i'm yeah i'm the first guy anyway let's just be honest though if if they're around i'm gonna eat them yeah they're good yeah this is that protest no hard feelings that protest lasted about three seconds

also so yeah if they backed the truck up.

Yeah.

Okay, we're cool us.

We have cheese balls, too.

The crab chip?

I can't be honest.

The crab chip.

The crab chip

is good doing the boycott on us.

Oh, when I see the crab chip on the shelf, I'm going for that.

Yeah.

Straight ahead.

All right.

Another question?

I have a couple.

I mean, go.

You're going to cut me off as a bad thing.

Actually, bring it to it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Second one.

I don't have a fact check on this, but I feel like you may be the only player in MLB history to have a portion of a field named after you and and an opposing field.

Utley's Corner at City Field is forever Utley's Corner.

Like, what was it about playing against the Mets that you just absolutely dominated them?

Great question.

Great question.

Yeah, great question.

I mean, I think anytime you're playing against your rival, right, it

can elevate your game.

I think it can be intimidating, but for me, it was...

you know, I wanted to prove them wrong,

if you will.

So yeah,

we had a lot of success

playing in New York.

Some, me personally, some our team.

And yeah, I hit a bunch of home runs kind of down that right field line.

And I mean, I haven't nicknamed that my corner, but I guess a bunch of other people.

Oh,

I was looking it up.

Apparently, like two years ago, and you obviously haven't been playing for a long time, there was a national broadcast that they still referred to it as Outlease Corner.

That's pretty sweet.

I do remember coming in.

I remember after the slide rule, I remember coming in the following year, playing in New York, and I was playing second base.

Inning is over, I'm running off the field, and I'm about to go down into the dugout, and there's a father's son right on the first row, right above the dugout.

And I kind of just look up, and the son, who's maybe 10,

11 years old, he looks at me with this fire in his eye.

And he's like,

Chase, I hope you fucking die.

Like as loud as he could possibly do it.

And I was like, oh my God.

And I look at the dad like, dad.

And dad goes, yeah, motherfucker.

And that's when I was like, oh, this is great.

And that boy grew to love this.

He's a meek Phil.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Memes.

All right, keep going.

This one's a little sillier.

The

always sunny episode.

Yeah.

How many real adult men sent you that exact letter after that episode came out?

Quite a few.

Yeah,

quite a few.

I mean, there was a certain point where the

fan letters got overwhelming.

So there's a woman for the Phillies that was nice enough to kind of open them for me and kind of sort it out to make it a little bit more easier.

And yeah, there were hundreds of those letters.

How was working on that?

It was great.

I mean, it's the first time I've ever been in front of a

TV camera.

I did it with Ryan Howard, which helped.

But getting there, we were a little nervous, right?

But getting there, I mean, the guys were great.

Charlie and Rob, they were awesome, made us feel comfortable.

And I realized they're just doing whatever they want, right?

Yeah.

Doing different iterations of different takes.

You didn't have to be perfect.

And they can cut it and splice it the way they want.

So I think having those guys around and kind of giving us an example of what it was like made it so much easier.

Yeah.

Have you had a catch with Rob Mack since then?

We've had a catch.

Okay.

We've had a catch.

He'll be out here this week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to have him on.

Yeah.

Great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Memes, do you have a question for Chase Hutley?

Because you do not like him.

Mine is in regards to the slot.

Yeah.

I'll keep it civil.

Why'd you do it?

Do you have any regret about it?

And have you ever apologized to Rubitata?

Your first question was, why did I do it?

Why'd you do it?

Why did I do what?

It was such a blind side.

Can you blind me?

As a veteran, you knew you were just going in to fuck him up.

That's absolutely incorrect.

Keep it civil.

Keeping it civil.

Yeah, yeah.

Listen, I get it.

I understand your frustration as a Mets fan, and I get it.

But there was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play.

As I mentioned before, like I grew up watching 80s, 90s baseball hard-nosed slides.

And at that point, I don't know how many years I had in

the big big leagues, but

10, 12, 13 years at that point.

And I've always gone in hard.

And

that was no different.

Obviously, the outcome was different than other slides that I've had.

I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did.

I was actually anticipating him jumping up in the air because the way it all kind of unfolded, and as you can imagine, it's happening pretty quick.

So as he took the feed, I'm thinking, okay, he's going to hit the bag, get up off his feet in the air, and try to throw it.

So me, I'm trying to slide a little bit with my body higher so I can clip a leg and

get his throw off.

But instead, he spun, which I was definitely not anticipating.

And yeah, looking back on it,

I didn't feel good about it.

I actually

felt terrible about it.

I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

And I attempted to apologize to him.

He wanted no part of it, which again,

I understand.

So yeah, if I could go back in time and knowing the outcome that happened, of course I would have done it differently because I would have realized he's not going to jump.

He's going to spin.

And

I could have disrupted his throw

differently.

Hope that answers.

How do you feel?

How do you feel?

That was very good.

Yeah, yeah.

Are we healed?

Do you want to do a non-civil question?

No, you're responsible for the one of the greatest clips in MLB history.

Game after the slide, the year after,

when Noah Syndergaard threw and got kicked out, ass in the jackpot.

Right.

Yeah.

Great clip.

Yeah, this is a great clip.

Yeah, the ass in the jackpot.

But Tom Hallion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, listen,

I mean, as especially kind of playing in the early 2000s,

in the players kind of, at the time, we were able to kind of

police what was going on.

You hit our guy, we're going to hit your guy, and it is what it is.

I mean, now,

I mean, Major League Baseball, which is rightfully so, steps in a little bit more to keep those confrontations from happening.

And in that moment, I mean, I'm expecting me to get beat, right?

If they would have hurt one of our players, regardless on purpose or not, we're going to hit their guy just because that's how it used to happen.

So I was fully anticipating it to happen.

I was surprised that he was thrown out.

It was just too, at the time, it was too blatant.

And the umpires probably were on warning anyway, so they didn't have much of a choice.

But yeah, here in

the jackpot.

Yeah, it was.

It's a great, great phrase.

It was a good one.

It's a great clip.

I agree.

Is there one pitcher that you hated facing and one that you were like, I can't wait to face him?

I mean, there's a few guys

that I enjoyed facing only because I had some success off them.

Some guys you just see better than others.

There's a guy here at the tournament,

Derek Lowe, who had a really successful career.

And for whatever reason, I saw the ball well off him.

So I had some success off him.

There were other guys, not so much.

I mean, speaking, I rolled as Chapman.

Lucky I didn't have to face him very often.

But he was tough.

Dontrell Willis.

Remember Dontrell Willis?

He was funky for me.

I just could not pick up the ball.

He's big, herky-jerky.

motion.

He had like a knee brace on, which for some reason I could not look at.

Yeah, he was tough.

Good guy, but he he was tough.

Yeah.

What about ballparks in general?

Was there a ballpark that was harder for you to see the ball in?

I don't know about see the ball, but some ballparks are a little bit more uncomfortable than others, at least for me.

I mean, obviously I enjoyed playing in Citizens Bank Park.

I enjoyed playing in Dodger Stadium.

Going to New York, you can see the ball really well and the fans are into it, so it kind of livens the atmosphere.

Playing in Wrigley Field is awesome.

Regardless of the crazy day games and the shadows that you deal with as a hitter, it's still so much fun to play there.

Going to San Francisco

can be challenging because you're traveling

around the country during this summertime and everywhere you're going, it's 75 to 95 degrees.

And you roll into San Francisco and it's 55 and you're wearing sleeves and it's freezing and the wind's doing weird weird things.

So that

I didn't really enjoy playing in San Francisco because it was so much different than everywhere else.

Yeah.

Beautiful park, but

tough to hit in.

Yeah.

It can be tough to hit in.

All right, I got one last question.

Cracker Barrel is home to all the more country anytime.

That means buttermilk pancakes whenever you want them, homemade classics like chicken and dumplings, and a country store full of fun finds.

Swing by and visit Cracker Barrel today.

Got it down.

I love that.

Yeah.

How long did that take you to memorize?

Oh, we've been doing it for a long time.

Okay.

Long time.

I do it in my sleep.

It's like double play with Jimmy Rollins.

Do you have your gold card on you?

I don't know.

I really want to just see one.

It's not as I just asked every baseball player.

I'm convinced that it's not real, but everybody says they agree to say that it's real.

I do.

Yes, you do have it.

Yes, never used it.

You unclicked it.

You want to walk that is really gold.

Oh my god, look how cool that is.

It's it says the commissioner of baseball, in appreciation of long, uh, what's this is long and uh

meritorious service present this lifetime pass, Chase Utley and guest.

That's awesome.

You've never used it?

What am I going to do?

Am I going to walk up to the guy that's just hired for that day and say, hey, here you go?

Yes.

I mean, look at me like, what the hell is this?

Yeah.

This thing is solid.

How many guys do you think don't like have never used it?

I would bet 95% of guys.

That's crazy to me.

Did you ask Shane?

Yeah, he said he never used it.

Can I have a bunch of people?

Have you asked anybody that says they have used it?

I don't know.

I think most guys that get this card have somebody they can call.

If they really want to go to Eric.

Yeah.

I think maybe Dan Heron, our friend Dan Heron, has used it like once or twice.

They'll be like, Dan was tough.

Dan was tough.

Funky split finger.

He was.

Yeah.

We're trying to make a case for Dan for the Hall of Fame.

We've been working on that case for a long time.

You?

I love you.

You'd be a Hall of Famer.

Do you think it's going to happen?

Wait, Max.

Oh, yeah.

He's a Hall of Famer.

Love you, Max.

I mean,

do you like think about it every year year when it comes around?

Yeah, I do now.

Yeah, something I had never thought about before, but now you're once your name's part of the conversation, yeah, it makes you think about it.

Um who do we have to disparage for you?

We're down to do that.

Is there is there a specific person you want us to just sully their name?

No, okay, no.

I mean, that's that's the beautiful thing about

voting, right?

Everyone's got their own personal opinion and viewpoint of it, and some are here and some are here,

and which might create some pretty cool debates.

Here's a little tip.

The Baseball Writers Association, maybe SKU's a little older, a little more like,

hey, we're, you know, respect the game.

I think you got to start using your gold card or maybe give it to a couple guys that would use it.

It's a great idea.

Yeah.

Two guys that would be good.

That's going to compile like a mailing list.

Yeah, you love the game.

If there's two guys that love going to baseball games, just like obsessed with, you know, having fun, going to a day game, drinking some beers, doing the 50-50 raffle.

If you know two guys like that, I think you gave them your your card, you'd have a pretty good chance.

I feel like it's a good idea.

Do you guys go to many Cubs games?

Yeah, I have season tickets.

Wrigley's pretty incredible.

Don't go to a lot of White Sox games.

Okay.

But yeah,

White Sox Stadium has better food than Wrigley.

Do they?

It's a fact.

Really good food.

Yeah.

Really good food.

That's what they spend their money on.

Have you talked to Ricketts yet about it?

He's got to sign Kyle Tucker.

That's what we got to worry about.

We don't care about the food.

He can feed me cardboard if he signs Kyle Tucker.

I don't care.

I don't care.

Yeah, he's very, very good.

Is there a specific guy?

Last last question, that you love watching?

Like a guy that you're like, that guy.

I mean, Kyle Tucker's a great hitter.

Yeah, good answer.

It's fun to watch Aaron Jodge because you never know.

He can hit it up to the moon anywhere on the field.

I mean, I follow mostly the Phillies and Dodgers, the two teams I played for.

Schwarber's fun to watch.

Oh, yeah, Schwarber's.

Mash is the best.

The best.

Shoe Otani, he just flicks stuff over the fence and makes it look too easy.

Freddie Freeman's the ultimate professional hitter.

Like, there's not, I don't think there's a more professional hitter than Freddie Freeman currently.

What does that mean?

Just he doesn't get off his game plan.

His game plan is to shoot a ball to left center.

And if it's in, he'll pull it.

But his whole focus is to hit it to left center.

And it's pretty impressive.

He doesn't get off it ever, which is hard to do.

You tell yourself as a hitter, like, all right, this is my game plan for the day.

But there are times, certain times, where like you'll get out of that.

And I don't think he ever gets out of that.

Yeah.

So your game plan for the day was, it would vary depending on who you're hitting against?

Yeah, yeah.

Because I think a lot of times nowadays, especially the game plan is hit a home run or strike out.

Right.

I don't know if it's that.

But listen, I think pitching today is harder to hit than it was 10 years ago.

I think guys there's just more velocity,

more tougher spin.

It's just...

I think it's just a fact.

I think hitters are now starting to catch up to it because now they've seen it for a number of years.

But I think it's hit.

It's challenging to hit.

So it's hard to put a game plan together.

Their control isn't quite, I don't think, the same as it used to be, but they're also throwing a lot harder.

So I think that can make up for it.

But it's still fun to watch.

There's some talent, super talented players at the big league level.

But Joey Otani is fun to watch, as is Freddie Freeman.

And Kyle Tucker.

And Kyle Tucker.

And my boy, Justin Turner.

Yeah, Justin Turner.

Yeah.

Right?

Has he been on the show?

Yeah, he is not.

We need to get him on.

The fake nuts thing was pretty funny.

Did you see that?

I did see that.

Yeah, that was pretty funny.

Were they fake?

For a second, I was like, are those real?

And then I was like, those are really skinny nuts.

That would not be great.

They weren't truck nuts.

They were too small to be trucked.

They might have been like bicycle nuts that you put on the back of like your

coffee.

I suggest you guys, there's a the par three, the 12th hole par three where the boat, the million dollar boat.

Yeah.

I don't know if it's million dollars or the boat, whatever it is.

You guys set up shop there.

Yeah.

Guys, cruise in and do like a three-minute interview because it usually backs up.

Yeah.

I like that.

Okay.

It's a good idea.

Great idea.

Yeah.

Although we're not good at three-minute interviews.

Maybe we'll just have memes yell at it for three minutes.

Similar to like going into a game with a game plan, we go into the game plan and then, hey, let's talk about how Chase Hutley made his peanut butter and jelly for 10 minutes.

Actually, I'm still interested.

Yeah, I have a few more questions.

The small details is, that's really what separates the great from the good.

Yeah.

Right?

That's why you should be in the Hall of Fame.

Nobody else had that type of discipline to love themselves the same meal every day plastic knife whatever butter knife okay but you would would you would you prefer the real knife no no no no butter knife perfectly fine sitting down or standing up depending on oh good question both both you would mix that up there are times where i was kind of on the move so i didn't sit down plate or paper towel again both both yeah yeah yeah would you ever make one for someone else no i've suggested it for others but no and they would never take you up no yeah yeah there There was a fad for a point in time where

we were ripping through peanut butter and jelly.

Like when you guys were winning the World Series, everyone was eating peanut butter and jelly?

Yeah.

Was there any...

Did you play with anyone who ever had a peanut butter allergy?

Not that I'm aware of.

Okay.

No, that would be bad.

Yeah, that would have been.

Would it have would you have stopped?

It depends how severe.

Okay, that's a good answer.

And how good they were.

True.

Like, if they're an end-of-the-bench guy, it's like, come on, man.

You can get your epi pen.

Chase has to have his peanut butter and jelly.

Did you ever have one during a game?

Yes.

Oh.

Plenty.

So you would just like sneak off.

I mean, listen, you go into St.

Louis in the middle of summer and it's 97 degrees with 98% humidity and you can't, you're dying.

So you're just sweating, you're dying, and you need some energy.

And that was my go-to to get some type of energy.

So yeah, I would have them during the middle of the game.

Would you post-game it?

No.

Never.

Never.

Just business.

Yeah.

Do you ever, would you ever go with uncrustables?

Do you know what those are?

I know what those are.

Okay.

Had them.

I don't think I had any during.

Okay.

You like the crust.

You said earlier you do.

I do enjoy the crust.

Yeah, yeah.

There's something about the process of making it too.

You never had anyone else make it?

Never.

Wow.

No.

Look at this.

I think that's all the peanut butter and jelly.

That's weird shit, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think I have any.

What?

Did you like the peanut butter they had to stir around?

Yeah.

The one where the oil sticks are.

No, hate that.

You would obviously do peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other and then put them together.

You wouldn't.

No.

Sometimes I would.

What?

Sometimes I mix it.

Yeah.

So you go, it's crazy.

What would you put the...

You always want to do it.

Well, and then you're done with the thing and you're just throwing it in the tray.

But what if you think enough jelly and then you go on the peanut butter side, then you dip back in.

Now you got peanut butter in the jelly.

Fair.

No.

That happened.

I can tell that happened.

That has happened.

Yeah, that's not a culprit on that.

You're a savage.

All right, Chase Huntley.

Thank you, man.

No, guys, my pleasure.

Thanks for having me on.

Yeah.

Appreciate it.

The man.

That was fun.

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Okay, let's wrap up the show.

We've got

FAQs.

FAQs.

Let's do it.

FAQs.

Zach, I have an FAQ for you.

Yes, sir.

How'd the Sonic Boom alarm clock go?

Go Sonic Boom Alarm Clock has a couple more steps to setting up than I first thought.

A lot of buttons.

We don't have it all the way equipped yet.

What do you, what does that mean?

I had a little bit of a tough time figuring out how to set the time on it.

I, from the reviews that I heard, it's going to shake your apartment.

I read some things I'm worried about, like neighbor interference, like noise complaints to the leasing office.

But you got to get up.

You got to try it.

You got to get up.

Yeah.

You got to get up.

Got to get up to get down.

All right.

Hank.

FAQs.

Which moment from the show would you want to relive for the first time?

Ooh.

Ooh.

Moment from the show to relive.

I think.

Sopranos.

Yeah.

The office.

I watched The Office Live starting with ABC.

Wait, no, from this show.

From this show.

I thought you were saying that.

Oh, this is a show.

I would like to relive the Soprano Spoiler.

Yeah, yeah, that too.

I thought it was a show.

Yeah.

Because do you ever think about that where it's like, I wish I could watch this show again for the first time?

Like when Janice shot, was it Ralphie?

No,

Richie Apriel in the kitchen.

Yeah.

Breaking Bad, because I watched season five only.

What about this show?

Bill Walton.

Bill Walton.

I would like to meet Bill Walton again for the first time.

Piss dogs.

Max in his overalls.

I still, that's still like maybe once a month I'll think about that.

Yeah.

And him just screaming, I look with Daniels.

This could be such a bad night for me, and you guys just want it to be so much worse.

Please.

Like, I look at me right now.

Look at what I'm doing for you.

I look ridiculous.

I think you're doing it for us, though.

Yes!

I mean,

it's not fucking working!

Everything you tell me to do doesn't work!

For my fucking asshole?

Those are two different things.

Max's reveal of the soul patch.

Oh, the soul patch reveal.

I saw the soul patch reveal.

Somebody posted a clip of it the other day, and I laughed out loud for like 10 seconds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's so good.

Pissed Dog's a good one, too.

That one back.

That's a good question, though.

It wasn't, it was a little more heated,

contentious at the time, but

I won't even say it.

I was going to say it.

No, I won't say it.

I won't say it.

I won't say it.

I won't say it.

Say it, Hank.

No, it's alright.

You got to say it.

Yeah, say it.

Billy, the podcast when Billy, after Billy was falling asleep, was, or when he was falling asleep, was like...

It was very funny.

That was a funny moment.

It was very heated.

When he fell asleep on the

podcast after

watching him fall asleep all

the time.

yes that was entertaining clients yeah yeah was so bad and so funny yeah yeah

also when he stepped to pft that was funny yeah or the hot sauce yeah i think that was the hot sauce the hot sauce was the best thing and if i could if i could relive and just i wish maybe the the

the most heated argument that almost broke up the show that i thought was so funny the whole time and i was just like kind of like You guys were both like legit coming to me after like, you know, trying to,

I don't even know, but the Mountain Dew debate.

Oh.

Mountain Dew bottle.

Yeah.

You guys were both like.

I was like, I don't know.

It could be.

PFT tried to gaslight.

I know what the fuck it was.

I was like, I don't know.

Who's that?

PFT is like, big cats.

They're sitting behind you.

Many fine people on both sides of that debate.

You never know.

That's the bottom line.

It's the beauty of that argument is you can never know.

He's gaslighting me again.

The Joe Burrow interview.

Because I think we don't, I think it was so awesome, but we don't remember.

Like, that's just insane that we got to interview the national, the Heisman Trophy winner who just won a national championship like six hours prior, and we were fucking bombed for it.

I think along those same lines, the first time we heard Coach O's voice in the office at LSU.

Yeah.

Like, we heard him before we saw him, and it was just goosebumps.

Just hearing him walk down the hall.

Where are these boys at?

Yep.

Yep.

Chills.

Which NFL quarterback?

Also Sopranos.

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck you.

Which NFL quarterback?

Whose head got run over by the SUV and the gas station?

Phil Leotardo.

Phil Leotardo, yeah, that's right.

Train guy?

No, that's Milan Buckley.

He got shot in the toy train shop.

Which NFL QB would you take to partner with in a fight to the death tag team style?

Ooh.

Cam Putin.

Oh, which NFL quarterback?

Like, current?

Current.

Shit.

I think

debate on whether or not he's a quarterback might be Taysom Hill.

Oh, I thought you were going to say Jalen Hurts.

No, no.

I certified too.

I was.

If you could see

my pre-face got angry.

Max,

you got...

That's just...

You didn't get pre-mad?

Your pre-face was not a good thing.

My pre-face started to get angry.

I started talking my hands.

That's just a good idea.

Because Jalen Hurts is the right answer.

He's fucking

insanely strong.

I might take Baker.

Baker's

dog.

Baker is a strong.

Baker would be, he would literally, like, he'd fight to the death.

I also, like,

I don't think we give enough enough credit to just how, like, massive of a human Josh Allen is.

Yeah.

Like, strength and size.

He's so nice, though.

I know, but, like, imagine if he, like, he could just fucking maul someone.

Tua?

No.

What?

That's like 1-1.

Bad answer?

Yeah.

I was just throwing names out there.

I'm trying to get a conversation started.

The absolute worst.

Dak's probably worse.

Based on the track record.

No, Tua.

To bump his head.

We've got video evidence of Dak Prescott in a fight.

Yeah, that's true.

It's also big.

Yeah, Lamar would be a good pick.

Lamar's.

But he's got hands.

Yeah.

Joe Flacco.

Old strength.

Yeah.

Oh,

Anthony Richardson.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That would be a good pick.

He's a massive human being.

Caleb?

Probably not.

Doesn't want to break a nail.

Spicy.

Good one.

I love when Hank gets like this.

It's great.

I fucking love it.

The whole day, he's just going to

give subtle jabs at everyone.

It would just be like, no, I'm not mad.

And then just fucking pepper him in for the next two days straight all because of a Mount Rush.

That was a good joke, though.

Hey, Zach and company, longtime listener, first time FAQ.

What's one moment in PMT history you thought you might actually get you canceled or kicked off air?

Well, when we did.

We did get kicked off.

Yeah, we get kicked off air.

I don't think.

I mean, we work at bar.

Like, there was never, there's never been concerns about

the Taylor Swift one, but that was never actually.

I never was like.

Like, it was a joke.

Dave was joking about it, but it was never anything more than a joke.

Yeah.

I don't think.

I thought Dave was going to fire me when I pushed Bosco at Campbell.

Oh, yeah.

Also, it was turned into a nothing.

Yeah.

It couldn't have been more of a nothing.

I was so nervous.

That was great because it gave Dave a great opportunity to show Bosco, like, hey, I'm on your side.

Like, bring him in for, like, a pat on the head.

Like, I got your back, Bosco.

No, I think the word for word was,

I would have been mad if you pushed someone, but it was Bosco, so I don't care.

Yeah, which is fair.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think there's, I mean, besides the time we actually got canceled.

I don't think so.

Oh, yeah.

The thought really hasn't crossed my mind.

No.

Hey, Big Cat PFT, happy that your tongue survived another year of staying out of each other's butts.

Will we ever see any more specific PMT 24-hour streams?

How much work goes in to be able to pull that off for guys on camera, those behind the scenes?

One of my favorite memories was you guys playing N64 during the middle of the night and would love to see more of the random content like that.

Love your show.

Thanks for the putting smiles on everyone's face.

That was in the place of Grit Week, I believe.

It was during COVID when we could training camps.

That's correct.

So we had a Grit stream, which was a 24-hour one.

Occasionally, we pop up on Barcelona After Dark, take place and take part in their little locked in hell stream challenges.

The Yaks doing a 12-hour stream soon.

Another dig.

I'm trying to think, man.

Yeah, Barcelona After Dark is probably where.

But you guys did one.

Yeah.

Me and Max.

Yeah, what did we do?

Yeah, me and my 24 hours.

I think it would be like 22 or something.

Max hit Blake in the head with a hockey stick.

Yep, that was Max.

We could do one.

We could do a part of my Take Sleepover if we got correct sponsorships.

I would do it.

How long was the darts?

Darts was.

That was a long one.

Wait,

how long was the stand-up?

Stand-up was an hour.

Oh, it felt like five days.

Crushed pay-per-views.

People love the stand-up.

Especially ours

six months beforehand.

Real easy to follow a warmed-up crowd like that, Hank.

No one's ever been worse at stand-up than memes.

I learned it.

It was a one-man show.

It wasn't wasn't stand-up, it was a one-man show.

That was it, it was high art, a textbook case of procrastination where memes was just like, I'll figure it out later, I'll figure it out later.

Until it was the day of the show, and he had like two hours left.

He's like, I think I got to figure it out.

If you didn't like memes, stand-up, you just didn't understand it.

Yeah, he didn't understand it.

It was a one-man show.

The Pundo show was one-man show, Hank, and then it was so, and then it was just like, oh, comedy show, you're opening.

Yeah,

uh, okay, is that it?

One more, One more.

Ooh, I like this.

If you had to build an NFL team/slash skill position roster out of PMT guests, no professional athletes.

What?

Who would make that list?

Okay, I think somebody asked us this about the NBA as starting five at one point.

I think we're still at tight end.

Maybe John Taffer at guard.

John Taffer.

Oh, no, he said skill position.

Oh, skill position.

We're still at tight end.

Who have we had that's fast?

That is

fast.

Jerry O'Connell played quarterback in true.

True, Kush.

Yeah, we'll put we'll put JOC a quarterback.

Um,

this is tough.

Maybe Rebecca Romaine somewhere.

Yep,

coach's bought.

Nope, nope,

maybe, maybe tight end for her.

Stop, stop.

What?

Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson?

Whoa.

What just happened?

What just happened to you?

Mark Wahlberg at running back?

Yeah.

Wahlberg at running back.

That'd be good.

I don't know who the wide receivers would be.

We need wide receivers.

We need fast guys.

Pablo Torre.

Wait, wouldn't Wahlberg?

Randy Moss.

We have Randy Moss.

Oh, yeah.

Randy Moss at receiver.

I feel like Wahlberg at receiver.

Wasn't that his position inventory?

Yeah.

Yeah, he could be slot receiver.

Yeah.

Randy Moss on the outside.

Wendy.

Wendy is a run fullback.

Love that.

Josh DeMel.

Josh Damel.

He was a quarterback, right?

Yeah, he could be the quarterback.

He'll be starting quarterback, Jerry.

You can back him up.

He could be the backup for sure.

I'm trying to think who else we've had.

That's...

I mean, we could.

No professional athletes?

No professional athletes.

I mean, we could just do like

Kane and Undertaker.

They're athletes.

They're professional athletes.

They're professional athletes.

Okay, sorry.

Sorry.

They're professional athletes.

My bad.

Jimmy Tatra?

Just vibes guy.

He could be like like a slot.

He's a slot receiver.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

For sure.

For sure, for sure.

Stav.

Oh, Stavi at fullback would be good.

Somewhere.

We could shoot.

Shane Gillis could be in there.

Fauci at running back.

I'm just naming all of the guys that don't play sports that we've had on.

Shane played sports.

Yeah.

No, I'm saying professional players.

Yeah, he was.

Oh, yeah.

No, I'm literally just going down the list.

Of just non-professional athletes.

It's just more linemen, though.

We keep, we can't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not a lot of skill position.

Skill position is tough.

I think Jimmy could be a

good slot.

Randy Moss, take the top off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For sure.

Jimmy would have to be a receiver.

Yeah.

Okay.

Does Joey Chestnut count?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's a professional athlete.

Does he count as a

team?

No, as a professional athlete.

Yeah, that was except that he was a great athlete.

He counts as a professional athlete.

Yes.

Got it.

Major League Eater.

Got it.

Yes.

Got it.

Come on, Hank.

Just double-checking.

Hank.

Matt Damon, Casey Athletic.

Adam Silver could probably snag some.

Yeah, he could maybe hear the plays from the sideline.

If we lose our headsets.

Yeah, I don't think the commissioners have any place in the starting lineup.

Yeah.

Florio?

Florio could just be.

He could just sue the other team to death.

What about coaches that weren't professional athletes?

Missoula would be a stud.

Yeah, Missoula would be great.

Yeah, we'd suck.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good show, boys.

Numbers.

Great show.

Oh, I was trying to get your attention, Hank.

I was working.

Again.

I'll work with you.

You got it?

I got it.

I'm going to go with

65.

Matt, our ghostwriter's here.

He's going to.

Wait.

Hank got six.

Hank got six.

Matt, our ghostwriter's here.

Matt,

how would you say the book's going?

You know, I got to be honest, I'm pretty worried about it, guys.

Yeah, yeah.

Because every time we sit and talk to you, we're like, we should just run away.

Well, you're running off to meetings.

You're busy people.

You know, I'm here for four days, but I can't even get your attention.

So

I'm a little worried.

Book is going to be might not ever come out.

Might never come out.

Might never come out.

All right.

What number do you have, Matt?

17.

17.

Okay.

All right.

Who else has to go?

12.

99.

Poo.

21.

Stole my number, 33.

I'll go 77.

11.

Oh, I should have taken Shane's number again.

Yeah, you should have.

All right, everyone, say their number real quick again.

Starting with PFT, go around.

6.

Starting with PFT.

65.

17.

This is a good hang episode.

Great.

21.

33.

Three.

333.

That's 77.

Three.

Today's the day.

Today's not the day.

It will never be the day, buddy.

Oh, Shane got it.

Shane!

Let's go!

Shane, have you ever gotten it?

I've gotten it.

Oh, you have?

Okay.

Yeah, nobody cares.

Wow.

You got a double ball.

Oh, Shane.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane's wild.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane.

Oh, that would have been great if I took it.

He would have been so fucking mad.

You would have mad at me.

What's your secret to getting the lottery ball machine so many times?

That's awesome.

Chargers players.

Nice.

Herbert, LC.

La Dania Thompson played for the Jets.

Okay, well, means have you gotten it?

I did that one time.

No, you didn't.

I do.

No, you didn't.

You never got it.

Shane, you've gotten it twice now?

This is my second time.

Wow.

Let's go.

Ghost Rider Matt, how impressive is it that Shane was able to guess the number of the machine?

I'll turn on you, Ghost Rider Matt.

It's really impressive, and you know what?

I think he should write a chapter.

Yeah, I should figure out how to get the lottery ball.

Yeah.

Oh.

Shane can't read or write.

You've seen our graphics.

Yeah, whatever.

He's like, oh, I didn't spell that wrong.

The computer did.

That is something we're going to have to talk to Matt, our ghostwriter, about that we somehow have managed, all of our hires have had issues

writing at every point.

Starts at the top.

What?

What?

Photoshop doesn't have spell check.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

What word did you misspell?

Uh, Jameis Winston, because I write down like quotes in my notes app on my computer, and it autocrats Jameis to James every time.

But I've been, I've been better.

I've been better.

No, it hasn't.

Yeah,

there hasn't been a misspelling in a while.

Yeah, Jason Tatum's stats wrong when you could just look it up online.

Okay, dude.

This is all your fault, Tank.

Whatever.

All right, that's the show.

Love you guys.