Scottie Scheffler, Mt Rushmore of Things You’d Want To Be Severed For, Hulk Hogan, Justin Fields Injured And Time 100 List

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On today's part of my take, we have our good friend, recurring guest, Scotty Scheffler, fresh off his open championship win.

Awesome time talking with him.

Also broke some news with him.

We have the Mount Rushmore of Things You'd Like to Be Severed For.

Hank, let's say the gloves are now off.

The gloves are now off for the Mount Rushmore season.

We have

Fire Fest.

We're going to talk a little training camps.

We taped a little out of order today, so you get instant reaction from memes after the Justin Fields injury at the end of the show, but we'll also talk about what happened and the dust settling at the beginning of the show.

Hulk Hogan has passed away, and we're going to send you off on the weekend.

And guess what?

Next week is Grit Week, so get ready because Monday we will be on the road for Grit Week.

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let's go.

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Today is Friday, July 25th, and you are listening to a not top 100 podcast.

And also, Hulk Hogan is dead.

Which one do you want to start with?

We have two equally big tragedies.

Big tragedies.

Let's start with Hulk.

Hulk Hogan has passed away, 71 years old.

I think that PFT today, July 25th, 2025, my childhood is officially over.

Yeah, I mean, he was the 1980s.

He was the 1990s.

You could make the argument that Hulk Hogan might have been the most American thing.

Yeah.

And I mean that in every sense of the word.

Yeah.

And also, like, Mount Rushmore of entertainers.

And yeah, listen, we'll say it right now.

Hulk Hogan, significantly better professional wrestler than person.

Great wrestler.

Great wrestler.

But yeah, it was my childhood's done.

It took 40 years.

I'm no longer a child.

I can now be charged with as an adult in the court of law.

that that all just happened today.

Starting right now, yeah.

I went back and I looked at some of his best moments.

You know, whenever somebody passes away, it does like the silver lining to it is sometimes you go back and you watch videos that make you happy and you remember some of the cool stuff that they did.

When he choked out Richard Belzer on live television, that was awesome.

Yes.

That was one of the best live TV moments, I think, in the history of the medium.

The body slam on Andre the Giant, his match against Yokozuna.

His heel turn.

His heel turn.

Most iconic heel turn ever.

You remember when he showed up in that cave, that like weird cave of doom?

Yeah.

And he like touched the water and he shook his hand.

He's like, ah, the water's not hot.

Yeah.

That's just incredible television.

He was wrestling and he kind of transcended the sport.

He made the WWF, WWE, what it is today.

So, yeah, Mount Rushmore of Wrestlers, for sure.

Yeah, Mount Rushmore of Wrestlers.

And these things come in threes.

We lost

a a member of the fictional Cosby family.

We lost Ozzie Osbourne and now Hulk Hogan.

Ozzy Osborne, another great American.

Yeah, another great American.

Andrew Yang said that, yeah.

By the way, I do think

our esports correspondent, Darren Revell, is starting to maybe learn from his mistakes because Hulk Hogan passed, and he actually had a couple fun tidbits on his Twitter.

Unlike when Ozzy Osbourne passed, I think he might have deleted one of of the tweets.

He talked about Ozzy Osborne's famous Take Me Out to the Ball game at Wrigley in 2003 and then followed up with, Yes, I do have the ticket stub.

And everyone was like, So you just made his death about you?

I think he deleted it.

Hulk Hogan, you know, he has a lot of Hulk Hogan memorabilia.

I think Darren probably has like Bubba the Love Sponges fitted sheets.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

He has a bill from the sushi restaurant he ate at that night.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, Hulk Hogan has passed.

Childhood over.

71's actually pretty old for a wrestler.

I feel like dog years, that's like 200.

Yeah, I honestly thought he might have been even a little bit older than that.

Yeah.

But I wonder if they're going to continue to make the movie about Hulk Hogan and Gawker.

Because Ben Affleck was going to be playing Hulk Hogan.

I just want to see what that looks like.

Yeah.

You don't even have to release the entire movie.

Just give me some pictures of like, you know, some of the screen tests that they did for it.

I want to see how Affleck's able to pull that off.

Yeah, I think they'll definitely still make it.

Did we check to see if Bam Margero did he had the chance to maybe make the most viral tweet of all time?

Because if you remember, Hulk Hogan, it was a few years ago, many years ago, said, Damn.

Bam, I wish you were still with us.

I sure would love to hang out again.

My brother, love you, miss you.

And it's a picture of him and Bam Margero.

And then Bam Margero just said, I'm alive, brother, but miss you too.

Yeah.

He could reverse it right now.

I think he mistook him for Ryan Dunn.

I think that's that was definitely what happened.

But yeah, Hulk Hogan's dead.

It sucks.

Yeah, it's tough.

It's a,

I mean, yeah, great wrestler.

Great wrestler.

Great wrestler.

Great, great wrestler.

Top, top, like, yeah, maybe top American export.

The world knew who Hulk Hogan was.

Yeah.

Eat your vitamins.

Eat your vitamins.

Say your prayers, brother.

Yeah.

And I think that, like, we're probably dating ourselves, but the wrestling buddies,

the pillows.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That Hulk Hogan was a a big part of that.

Okay.

Yeah.

All this probably, we probably don't even have anyone listening right now because we're not a top 100 podcast.

Hey, Zach, what's up?

Keep looking at me.

You're nervous.

I was paying attention while you're speaking.

That was all.

Okay.

Yeah.

PFT is sick.

And so Zach and Hank is out.

And so Zach is sitting in PFT's chair.

How about you?

I think that this might...

This might be the key to getting us to the top 100.

Yeah.

Like, if this episode had come out last week and Zach's in the chair and I'm not, that I feel like we got to be above Pablo Torre finds out.

Heartthrob City.

But what we're referring to is Time magazine,

famously named Hitler Man of the Year in 1939.

That Time magazine released their top or best podcasts of all time, top 100.

Now, let me just say to start this,

we don't actually care about these fucking lists, but it is funny because did I expect to be on it?

Probably.

but it's fun to have fun with it when we're not on it.

They also left off Joe Rogan, which makes it even better.

And we got beat out.

We got beat out.

We got to tip our hat because Men and Blazers, who we know those guys, we like those guys, the Kelsey Brothers, we know those guys, like those guys, Pablo Torrey,

we know Pablo, we like Pablo.

And then the tennis podcast,

which is just a juggernaut.

The tennis podcast beat us out.

I went into this thinking I was going to be mad when I saw the list of shows that they put above us.

And I like you, but

I actually don't care because

lists are made for one of two reasons.

One, just to

jack off your friends.

The second reason would be to get people mad about the list.

But in this case, I saw the list of sports podcasts or ranked ahead of us.

And they nailed it.

Yeah.

Like time absolutely nailed it.

The tennis podcast is a juggernaut.

We try to dip our toes into the tennis scene, but we're casuals.

But yeah, you said it.

I mean, you think of other, the other all-time greats that Time magazine has put up there.

Hitler, Stalin, who was man of the year too.

Henry Kissinger,

another all-time man of the year.

Ayatollah Kamini, he was up there.

So, I mean, if we're getting left off this list,

I guess.

Misery loves company.

So more sports podcasts did not make this list than made it.

We have a lot of people with us that are saying nice things about us, which I appreciate.

Yes.

But yeah, you said it.

Like Joe Rogan, not on the list.

Kind of crazy.

No Bill Burr on the list.

Yeah.

And say what you want about Dan Bongino, but the man literally podcasted his way into becoming the deputy director of the FBI.

Yep.

Adam Corolla, like, started podcasting, basically.

Like, pretty crazy.

Yeah, talked to her.

We should say we got beat out by, you know, better shows.

Like, there's a recap show of the the Gilmore girls that came out 20 years ago.

That's

Gilmore guys.

Yeah, that's an important thing.

The tennis podcast makes it so funny.

And no shade at them.

We actually invited them on.

They declined because we wanted to get some tips on how to become a good podcast.

But I think that if it were just Men and Blazers, the Kelseys, Pablo Torrey, and Bill Simmons, I would have been like maybe a little mad.

The tennis podcast made it so fucking funny.

It made it so funny.

And I know that I do feel a little bad that they had to protect their tweets.

I'm not going to apologize for our fans because I love our fans and they ride or die.

And they just went nine-time

AWL right in the tennis podcast's face.

But it just makes it so funny.

The tennis podcast beat us out.

If you were to make a list of the 100 best podcast listeners of all time, the AWL is your number one.

Easy.

Number one.

And we would fight if you weren't on that list.

Easy.

If we made a list.

What about the 100 best podcast guests of all time?

Who would you have on that list?

I've got got my 1-1.

Blake Griffin.

This was a bad idea when we did this.

Yeah, but we could just say British.

No, no, no.

I'm talking about across all genres.

Oh.

Not our podcast.

The best podcast guests of all time.

Oh, I think when the Nelk Boys interviewed Benjamin Netanyahu, that was a bad idea.

BB.

BB's got to be the number one podcast guest of all time.

My one-two would be Cat Williams.

Yes.

Yes.

I would agree with that.

I would agree with that.

Burke Kreischer, for a while was a professional podcast guest.

He was a podcaster.

He was.

So

we alluded to it last show.

Our ghostwriter for our book is here.

Been a great week.

We actually have a pretty good plan.

Less.

I actually said, I felt bad.

I said to Matt, because PFT, you're out today

after we met this morning.

I was like, this isn't that hard.

Like, I feel good about it.

And he was like, well, yeah, I have to write it.

I was like, yeah, yeah, you're right.

We're going to do a lot of the writing too.

But

he did come up with the idea instantly, and we will include top 100 magazines of all time in the book.

So, Matt, you want to give us just a couple that are top 100 magazines?

Oh, yeah, we have a bunch, a bunch of real good ones here.

We have Girls and Corpses, Limits Magazine, Ranger Rick, and Practical Sheep, Goats, and Alpacas, all real magazines and all better than time.

Yeah.

So I'm just going to.

Those are good.

Yeah.

So we're Ranger Rick.

Yeah.

It is an all-time.

It is

like not including Joe Rogan on the list of

influential podcasts.

That would be like if you made a list of the hundred greatest genres of film of all time and you didn't include porn.

Yeah, yeah, it's nuts.

Joe Rogan is the biggest podcast in the world.

And he's like, he's in the news all the time.

And think about how many careers he started.

It's fucking nuts.

Wait, what was that?

Practical sheeps and alpacas?

Practical sheep, goats, and alpacas.

And PFT, just to give you a call callback to Croquet, number 20 on our list right now is Croquet Gazette.

Ooh.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah, I know.

I love that.

We're going to order a whole stack of them.

Yeah, so we will have.

I'm sort of a mallet times man myself, but the gazette's pretty good.

We will have our top 100 magazines of all time in the book, but the book is going well.

We sat with Matt for a long time this week, and we have some really funny stories that we retold.

And again, we're going to write a good portion of the book, too, which we do have to do, PFT.

Yeah.

We're ready to do it.

We also, I'll just say it because we, I was going to say it after PFT, but we, when I was meeting with Matt this morning, because I do think that this book, we're dumb and books are dumb, reading's dumb.

So I think we need to just be transparent throughout the entire process because people will like hearing about the process going along and they'll be like, oh, this is what you were working on.

So PFT, we were originally going to do like year by year.

I think we're going to, and you could tell me if I'm wrong or if this is stupid, I think we're going to do it in quarters.

We're going to make it a football game.

Oh, I like that.

First quarter, second quarter.

Yeah.

But different drives.

Yeah.

Well, no, and then the in-between quarters, we'll write our stuff and give people like, we're basically the commercial timeouts.

But here's the one thing that concerns me about that.

Yeah.

What if we go to overtime?

Overtime is in play.

We're fucked.

And then just sudden death, like with just one chapter and then we're done in overtime.

You all know that.

Also, if it's cut into fours, like I like my books with the shortest chapters possible.

Well, they're going to be shit.

No, no, no.

The first quarter is not going to be one full chapter.

The first quarter is going to have many chapters.

It's just a way for us to

be like, hey, here's the first quarter of the podcast history.

Right.

So the prologue will be like the flyover national anthem.

Yep.

And then we'll have halftime.

We'll have Red Panda at halftime.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh,

we should interview Red Panda.

We could also have Red Panda.

We're also just going to have a bunch of pre-game and post-game analysis.

That's other people writing the book, right?

Yeah.

And I also like that we went from 10 chapters to four quarters.

That makes my job a lot easier.

Yeah, it seems easier.

Yeah, even though there's going to be way more chapters.

It's more palatable that way.

Yeah.

It's also.

Yeah, and as the fourth quarter dwindles, the font gets bigger and bigger and bigger as we're running the clock out.

Yeah, the stakes get higher, so the font's got to get bigger.

PFDI also

we haven't made the decision yet, but I think you'll be with me on this because we're writing a book.

The last thing we want to do is have to to write another book or update the book.

So we're just going to go 10 more years of pardon my take.

Someone's going to die, but we will write that part of the book too.

We're going to look into the future?

Yeah, we're going to look in the future so that we never have to fucking write a book again.

I think episode one of the show, I forget if it was you who said it or me, but we said that this podcast will go until one of us develops a debilitating drug habit.

Yeah, so that may be how we finish the story.

But I don't like the last thing I want is for this book to be successful and be like, hey, guys, can you do an update like five years from now?

It's like, no, bro, we did the update.

It's right there.

I just want to say, congratulations to us for not developing drug habits.

Yeah.

We use drugs the exact perfect amount on the show.

Yeah.

Well, let's just hope.

Well, no, I want you.

I want you.

I was going to say, I want Josh Allen to keep winning MVPs.

Yes.

But

if he wins like the next five, we could be in trouble.

But he can't win multiple MVPs in a year.

That's true.

That's true.

What are you going to say, Max?

I was just leaning forward.

Okay.

I might get on testosterone.

We'll talk about that later, but I'm thinking about that.

So

the injuries are starting to mount up.

We should talk about the big news of today.

Memes, you ready?

I'm ready.

All right.

Chuck E.

Cheese got arrested.

And he kept his hat on.

He kept the mascot head on.

Hat tip to him.

They were probably going to fire him when he gets led out of there in handcuffs.

But the fact that he kept the mascot head on, you're not going to find a better replacement than that.

That is the that's the best worker for your brand.

That that guy did so much, not just for the kids that were in there that might have been scarred by seeing the mascot get arrested and also removing his hat.

Uh, it did a lot of good for those kids to not have to deal with that, but also just like the brand impressions that it did for your company.

Those pictures of Chuck E.

Cheese in handcuffs probably translated to millions of dollars in equity for the Chuck E.

Cheese brand.

So that's the employee of the month right there.

Yeah, I don't know if this makes me a good or bad parent, but like I cannot wait to get home to show my kids this video and just be like, look at this.

Never meet your heroes.

Chuck E.

Cheese is in the clink.

He's being thrown away right now.

I actually, you know what?

I might just save it for the next time.

They're like, hey, can we please go to Chuck E.

Cheese?

It's like, can't.

He's in jail.

It's what he's in.

Did you know the E in Chuck E.

Cheese stands for entertainment?

I did.

The mouse's middle name is Entertainment.

So his name is Charles Entertainment Cheese.

I have spent a lot of time in Chuck E.

Cheese in the last couple of years, which is a place I didn't think I'd ever go back to because I didn't think as a kid it would last this long.

But it is.

It's still going.

They're still doing it.

The best air hockey tables and maybe the worst ball pits.

Yeah.

Ball pits.

And then there's just a lot of games and

you just can't get a lot of tickets.

Like I try, I played so many games the other day when I was there for a birthday party.

And now that I'm saying this out loud, I'm just going to stop the story.

Okay.

You know what?

Actually, I can say that because my childhood didn't end till today.

I was still a kid when I was doing that last month, playing a Chuck E.

Cheese.

It kind of makes me want to go back to Chuck E.

Cheese, seeing the mouse get arrested.

Listen, I know it well.

We can go.

I know exactly where it is, and I know the games we can play, the games that will get us the most tickets.

Also, the pizza, not bad.

Not bad at all.

Not bad at all.

Okay.

Justin Fields was carted off this morning, but he's fine.

He has a toe injury.

First, he hid behind a tree.

Yeah.

And then they put him on the injury cart.

They carted him off.

And then they gave him an x-ray.

Dislocated toe.

So

I've never dislocated a toe before.

I would say, though, that if you were to pick one body part on your body to be injured, it's probably your toe.

I don't know.

Turf toe is a beast.

Turf toe, but I I don't think this is turf toe.

I'm just saying, though, like, if you had to pick one body part to get injured, turf toe is a beast.

I would think what I'm doing.

Turf Toe is more about the bottom of your foot.

It's a foot injury, not just your toe.

Pinky, what about earlobe?

Fuck you.

You need an earlobe for?

Get it pierced?

Yeah.

Vander Holyfield?

You can hurt your earlobe.

Vander Holyfield.

Trump.

I mean, Holyfield literally got his earload bitten.

Yeah.

Do you not know that that happened?

Mike Tyson?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know.

I know.

Trump?

Yeah.

P.

Crow Armstrong got, I think both of his earlobes hurt, but he looks awesome now.

Yeah, he looks sick.

So sick.

What else?

Nipple?

No, nipple would hurt.

Nipple would suck.

Yeah, nipple would suck.

Listen, we're just throwing out body parts.

Don't get mad at me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Zach, give us one.

Nipple would be really bad.

Forearm?

Forearm.

Nope.

No, forearm.

Forearm's rough.

His forearm rough.

I think a quarterback would need his forearm.

What about your hair?

Oh, as the quarterback hair is going.

Maybe not Justin Fields.

Yeah, no.

So, memes, talk us through today because it's been up and down.

It's been, I got, PFD, I got added to a Jets group chat.

Max and I got added to the Jets group chat at Barstool Sports just to try to pump up the boys.

Well, Big Cat was getting some takes off.

I was getting some takes off, but they were all coming from a, like, I've been through Justin Fields.

I'm rooting for the guy.

I have my doubts.

I think it's fair for Bears fans who watched, was it three seasons?

Yeah.

Three seasons of Justin Fields to say he's not a guy.

But

I do think that this season for Justin Fields is the best opportunity to try,

is his last-ditch effort to become a guy.

Okay.

Or

at least save his career.

Save his career.

That's fair.

I would agree with that.

So I just didn't want it.

to see him go out like this, like if it was an Achilles or.

Yeah, no, when it was like supposed to be, that's another thing.

We need to get rid of the carted-off nomenclature when it's like we don't, especially in training camp, because it's one thing to get carted off when you're watching the game and you can be like, oh, that was a really bad injury.

There's nothing worse than the carted-off tweet that you get from one of the beat reporters from your, from your team's training camp.

You're like, what the fuck?

Because you just think the absolute worst.

You think out for the season.

This was not a carted off.

I mean, it was obviously needed to be carted off, but it ended up not being a carted-off injury.

Yeah, I think that that's credit to everybody that tweeted out thoughts and prayers.

It worked.

Yeah.

Everybody was just like hoping, and your thoughts, your prayers,

they made it not as bad of an injury.

It was like that with Joe Burrow a couple years ago.

Remember that when he hurt his leg during training camp?

And everybody thought it was like, oh, shit, Joe Burrow out for the season.

Turns out, I think he was even back for week one.

But

that was actually probably

what you're hoping doesn't happen with

Justin Fields because Joe Burrow was hampered to start the season, remember, and they started slow, although the Bengals start slow every year.

But so you feeling, where are we at now, memes?

It's been a few hours.

Vibe check.

Vibes are great.

Okay, we're back.

Vibes are great, unless

the toe injury develops into like an infection or something.

I also would like to say that,

and again, we talk about it almost instantly after during Firefest.

I didn't, PFT, I don't know if you knew this, but like, memes is

all in on Justin Fields.

Yeah, to a point that I, yeah, but to a point I didn't, I didn't fully realize how all in.

Memes has been all in on everybody.

True.

Like, that's just, he's an all-in guy.

He is.

I love that about you.

It's like every player on that team at the start of the year, every coach, he's all in on all of them.

And then he's going to figure out who his scapegoats are.

Usually he'll go to like somebody in the media first.

And then after he gets on from that, he'll figure out the one guy that he hates on the team.

But yeah, memes is always all in.

He's optimistic.

Memes, I got a question for you.

After Justin Fields, after the news broke today,

did you allow yourself to get to a point where you watched Tarod Taylor highlights?

No, I didn't even get to that point.

It was just walk in, and then it was just on.

Yeah, and then it was just fighting for your life.

It was just fighting.

Fighting for your life.

And the tweet that's going around about the Jets' early preseason slash early season injuries, that does suck.

It's Justin Fields' toe, which hopefully is okay.

Two years ago with Aaron Rodgers, the Achilles.

2022, Zach Wilson, knee surgery preseason.

Sam Darnold, week two, mono, which is very funny to just have on any list.

Geno Smith, 2015, broke his jaw, punched by teammate.

Also funny to have on any list in the preseason.

2013, Mark Sanchez, preseason shoulder surgery.

And then 2003, Chad Pennington, preseason, broken hand slash wrist.

And then 1999, Vinny Tassaverdi towards Achilles.

Game one.

Yeah.

Not fun.

Yeah.

You want to at least have a full offseason to be optimistic about next year.

You want to go into week one with like your loaded gun.

You want to have everyone ready to go.

Well, I wouldn't say optimistic.

You're optimistic.

You are optimistic.

Memes is thinking soupy.

No,

he won't say it.

He is thinking soupy.

You were just going through all of the units.

on the Jets and being like, we're awesome here.

We're awesome here.

No, you're thinking.

And if Justin Fields could perform, the Jets will be in a good place.

But

I'm not optimistic.

They're minus 700 to miss the playoffs.

ESPN just came out with rankings that

were ranked 28 out of 32 teams.

Who cares?

Who cares about rankings?

Yeah, I don't care.

You don't care about it.

You can't now quote journalists and be like, look at what they're saying.

That is what they're saying.

Like last season, they went into the season.

We were ranked fourth in Super Bowl odds, and they won five games.

So it's like you can't really determine your entire team based off of

so what so shoot you just went full circle there.

Yeah, we're back to

you.

Oh, yeah.

You were like talking about how you're not optimistic, and then you finished with,

well, well, last year's

going to be good.

This year, I don't have expectations till I have expectations.

You have expectations.

You went, the media doesn't,

the media has us finishing last, and then a full circle don't listen to the media.

They don't know shit.

That's true.

It doesn't affect your optimism.

The media picking you guys 28th makes you mad at the media, but that doesn't actually affect where you think that they're going to finish.

Yeah.

Correct.

Any given Sunday, you could win a football game.

But expectations get set pretty much immediately when you're a Jets fan.

So week one or preseason when your quarterback gets carted off her toe.

Yeah, the injury thing is just the only thing you don't want in preseason because right now it's everyone freaking out mode.

Aaron Rodgers, Jerry came up to me.

He's like, Aaron Rodgers looks bad.

That's what I'm hearing from Steelers' camp.

I'm like, dude, it's day two.

Who cares?

Like, the Bears, Caleb Williams, got yelled at by Ben Johnson, got the seven-on-seven offense got kicked off the field.

I'm like, good.

Joe Burrow said the defense won the day against them.

That's what you should expect in preseason.

The offense usually looks bad to start preseason.

And that would be a great job by Joe Burrow to gas up his defense early on training camp.

Right.

They need to be more confident.

If I were him, I would just like let them pick me off three times a practice just to get some confidence.

i saw that esp in cleveland is also updating on a day-to-day basis the stat lines for all their quarterbacks oh so we give it to me we're looking at the uh four-horse race in cleveland joe flacco five for five perfect no touchdowns no interceptions chador three for eight

no touchdowns no picks okay kenny pickett six for seven they let him air it out a little bit no touchdowns no picks and then dylan gabriel six for seven, one touchdown, no interceptions.

So right now, I have Dylan Gabriel, QB1.

Yeah.

Joe Flacco, QB2.

Kenny Pickett, then Shadur?

I think I would probably have.

It depends.

What was the weather like?

Probably pretty nice.

True.

I'm going to have, I'm going to put, yeah, Pickett, three,

and then Shadur four.

That Browns video, by the way, of them unveiling the new helmet, I hate that they did that because it ruins it for everyone else.

Like, for instance, so if people have missed it, the Browns unveiled a new helmet, and they had a guy who was taking video on this barge on the river or the lake fall into the lake, and it went viral for a little bit, and then it leaked that it was all a stunt.

And what it does is it ruins when a Savannah banana smashes their face live on TV.

Because that was real.

Yeah.

That was such a funny face smash that he had.

He tried to do the backflip.

He's going to get so much sympathy, pussy.

That's Rack, right?

Yeah, that's Rack.

It was Rack that did it.

Rack, he's famous for doing the backflips.

Originally, I thought it might be fake just because I've never seen that guy miss a flip.

Yeah.

But yeah, that was a great face smash that he had there.

Max, by the way, the Savannah Bananas did reach out to me.

Should we ask them if you want to do Dingers Only against them?

Yep.

What did they say?

They said no.

Oh.

Well, no, I actually didn't ask them because I didn't want you to never do it.

You want me to never do it?

I kind of like this story.

I know.

I've thought about it, and

I just don't know.

You guys don't want to go anywhere either.

Like, you guys don't want to do this.

Max, are you saying that with the travel schedule that we have up for the next four weeks where we're basically gone every single week, we don't want to travel so that you can do your dinger's only bet that you should have done seven months ago?

Yeah, guilty is charged.

Well, we tried to do it seven months ago, and you bailed.

Rain

happened multitude of times, and then there was an injury.

Would you be able to do it right now?

Injuries happen.

I'd gut it out.

No, you wouldn't.

Yeah, I would.

You would tear an Achilles.

I fucking hurt my leg when I played softball.

I gutted it out.

Stayed on the mound.

All right, I'll hit up the bananas.

They're coming to Chicago.

Yeah, that would be perfect.

Okay.

Let's do it at Wrigley.

All right.

No, they're playing at

guaranteed rate.

Let's do it at guaranteed rate.

That would be fun.

That would be fun, PFT.

I'm down.

I'm actually

very lowest of keys.

I'm psyched that Max has not scheduled this yet because I'm dreading having to catch for it.

Catching feels like it's going to be just as hard as pitching.

Yeah.

No, catching was not fun.

It was not fun.

I'm not, my knees aren't in the greatest shape they've ever been.

My ass is out of shape.

It's going to be tough.

I'm going to have to gut through it too.

So the longer Max delays on it, the good for me.

But I still get to make fun of Max for not doing it yet.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what we want to savor.

Uh, do we have anything else?

Anything else we missed before we get to we have an awesome Mount Rushmore, we have Scotty Scheffler, we have Firefest.

I got one more story here.

Yeah, I don't know how this one slipped through the cracks, but have you seen the new AI trend that is being wiped off the face of the internet?

No, is that the LeBron suing it?

LeBron James, yeah, LeBron.

So, there's an AI company that's been making pregnant videos of LeBron James.

Great thing to specialize in.

And LeBron James has sent cease and desist letters to them and gotten all their content taken down off the internet, which is, it is the Streisand effect.

So is he pregnant?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Who's to say?

So he, is it a situation where he is pregnant, but he's not ready to announce it yet?

He's pregnant.

He has not done the, maybe he's waiting for the draft to announce his pregnant to like select his unborn fetus to join the Lakers.

I don't know what's going on, but there were some pretty realistic videos of LeBron.

Why the buddy pregnant, LeBron?

And

yeah, he's

he's really making this into a big news story by sending them cease and desist letters.

Whereas I don't think I would have, no one would have heard of this company that's making pregnant LeBron videos if he hadn't started to do this.

Is that what they're specializing in?

Because genius, hat tip to them, being like, hey, what should we do?

How about LeBron pregnant videos and just corner the market?

Yeah, I mean, that's a great, it's a great idea for a company.

If you're going to do something, do something specialized and be great at it.

Yeah.

But I can tell these are pretty hyper-realistic LeBron James pregnancy videos.

It sounds like I haven't seen these videos, but it sounds like to me that he could be pregnant.

He could be very pregnant.

Oh, my God.

Pretty pregnant.

That looks pregnant.

He looks very pregnant there.

No gender reveal yet, but.

It's nice that he did

the, they need to do it in like a Cavs jersey to be like this is how he announces that he's going to the calves.

I like that.

I like that.

Michael Jordan never got pregnant.

No, that's a fact.

That's a fact.

All right.

Let's do our Mount Rushmore with Hank back in studio.

What's up, Blake?

He's barking in the background.

Love that.

What's up?

Yeah, he probably sees a spider.

Fuck him.

And then we got Scotty Scheffler and Firefest.

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Okay, let's get to our Mount Rushmore.

Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

It is the Mount Rushmore of things you'd like to be severed For.

Severance

Show.

So explain it for people who haven't seen the Severance the show.

It's a sci-fi show where they have chips.

Ooh,

question.

Science fiction.

They have chips in their brain, and every time they come to work, they get in an elevator.

And when they go down the elevator, the chip activates.

They go into the basement floor, and they are a completely different person.

They have no memory of their outside world, and then when they get off of work, they go back up the elevator.

They come out the other side.

And they don't know what they did all day at work.

So basically separating the painful things in your life.

Turns out they made out with their wife at work.

Yeah, exactly.

Big cheating scandal.

So

I got a problem.

We got a problem.

It was team first.

Zach sat down with me up in my office for our pre-Mount Rushmore meeting, and he pulled out his phone, and I was like, sick.

He's going to have a lot of good picks.

And he said, wait, what's the Mount Rushmore?

And I said, it's things you'd like to be severed for.

He's like, oh, I missed when we texted about that.

And then I said, okay, well, let's start thinking.

He said, what's Severance?

Okay.

And I said, I said, the show.

And he said, oh, I don't even know what, like, not, I haven't seen severance.

It was, I don't, I had never heard the word severance.

It sounds like he's been severed for watching severance.

Yes.

It's actually, that would be a good answer for this Mount Rushmore where you just get severed so you don't have to deal with like years in between seasons.

Yes.

You just get to binge it.

So I have, he came with some picks, but I also have a list of picks where he just completely did not understand what we were talking about that I can share after that I think you guys will enjoy.

Okay.

Our team's doing great.

I'm sorry that that's happening to your team.

Me and Hank are lockstep, ready to roll, positive vibes only.

We're cooking, working as a team.

I have a good feeling for you.

Looking at the sunny side of the mountain right now, Hank.

I have a good feeling for your team today.

Hank is down bad.

What's going on, Hank?

The Instagram captions draft really, really fucked him up mentally.

So you came in here

today and you're like,

I'm done with Mount Rushmore season.

That's not real.

You're not.

No, it's football.

This is a football podcast.

This is just a filibuster.

PFT announced football is back.

I think

going forward, when we announce football is back, that's the end of Mount Rushmore.

Okay, what?

So

the first guy to say it?

Yeah.

First guy to say it.

Would you want to sever Mount Rushmore season?

I had that's on the list.

Pizza Toppings draft.

Oh, but Hank,

you're not that bad at it.

We had one bad Mount Rushmore.

I think if you look at the history of this podcast, I'm the worst.

No, that's not true.

You got to stay in the fight, Hank.

Stay in the fight.

It's bad.

We're in a bad spot.

I was singled out for choosing the topic.

I noticed we announced the topic.

Didn't say who picked today's.

PFT picked today's.

No, no, I don't think so.

It was down to like two.

Or the you offered up today's.

I offered up a different one.

Yeah, yeah.

That we're not using today.

Yeah, yeah.

You offered up the two for today.

But if we're going on the, you were the one who came up with the list.

Oh, yeah, it was from the list.

It was from the list.

I picked two from that list.

Yep.

But yeah, I was, you know, I thought I picked a good one.

The fans, you know, let me know it was a bad one.

Just the topic in general.

I thought it was a great topic.

I thought the topic was great.

I thought people liked the topic.

And

I was like, I smoked in it, so

it was just a, it was

bad.

It was a double whammy.

Do you think maybe it's because during the takeies when you're like, I don't really like the fans?

Did I say that?

Well, Scott, what was it?

You did the Spotify thing, yeah.

Yeah.

I never said that.

I mean, again, putting words in your mouth.

What you're doing to Hank.

This is bullshit what you're doing to Hank.

I never said that.

He never said that.

What did you say?

I can't remember.

I don't know.

It definitely wasn't that.

It was like the.

He said they send some hateful.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Yes, I've never had a bad interaction with a fan in person.

That's facts.

I love our fans.

That's facts.

All right.

You act like you've never gotten hate from our fans on the fans.

No, of course.

So that's all I said.

Yeah, I just, I love the hate and love the love and love it all.

You love it.

I also want to take some responsibility for what happened during the...

the Instagram captions draft because I don't think it sounds as good coming from me as from like a native Instagram user like Hank, who's clearly passionate about the subject and knows a lot more than anybody else in this room about Instagram.

So it probably might have come off inauthentic with me saying booked and busy.

That's true.

So I'm willing.

You say booked and busy.

No.

We're moving on.

All right.

All right.

Well, I think you should stay in the fight.

I've let, like, I don't know if this is before or after the interview.

Before.

Well, preview.

I've let my anger out.

I've let my frustrations, and I'm standing over the ball.

I'm looking forward.

Got it.

Okay.

That's a good preview for Scotty Schuffler.

Nice teaser, Hank.

You're back.

Yeah.

And tease.

Let's go.

I feel like you're still a little mad.

No, no.

Just at me.

But Hank, you're a little mad.

I mean, the Kale Williams bar that he dropped on me on Wednesday's show was awesome.

Great bar.

I was laughing about it at night.

You want him to break a nail?

Like, that's a good, a spicy hank is a good hank.

And guess what, Hank?

Balls in your hand.

Yeah.

And Max, Max, piece of shit outside the show, inside the show.

But I'm focused on the note.

I'm not going to show you how to do that.

What do you do outside the show?

I'm not going to let that affect you.

I I just wanted to let him know what the people were saying.

Oh, no.

So you brought the HQ comments to him?

Yes.

That's fucked up, Hank.

What did they say, man?

I wouldn't do that to you.

What do they say?

Hank.

I'll tell you what a couple of them said.

For the record, I thought you won, Hank.

That was one person.

Nice.

This other person said, I thought the topic was a great suggestion for what it's worth, Hank.

Another good one.

Third good one.

I thought it was a great Mountain Rushmore idea.

Don't let him bring you down.

Yeah.

Love that.

Awesome.

How about those comments?

Hank Army.

Hank Army.

Oh, you reposted all these Hank.

That wasn't why I picked those.

That had nothing to do with why I picked those.

That is

the final boss of Angry Hank is to find people and retweet them.

I think compliments.

That's hard to find.

That was hard to find.

I was fucking

mining for coal.

Deep in the shit.

I was sifting through shit.

What was the meanest one that you got, Hank?

I don't even know.

Like I said, I moved on.

Do you remember the meanest one that he got, Max?

No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

I didn't even see anything.

Does that mean Max?

That you went and took him to him?

I was just wondering what he was thinking.

Okay.

All right.

Should we do it?

Yep.

All right.

Who's up first?

We are?

I believe so.

Okay.

All right.

We're up first, Zach.

All right.

My first, our first pick.

Zach, Zach understands the assignment.

You feel good, Zach?

I do.

Stay strong.

Don't break.

Yes, sir.

No breaking.

This is a hard topic because we were thinking about a lot of things, but

we would love to be severed from going to the gym.

Show up to the gym, get fucking ripped.

Get

fucking ripped, get out of the gym, and be like, wow.

So I had that thought, and I put it, it was one of the first ones I wrote down.

I went back on it, though, because sometimes I get a lot of good thinking done.

at the gym and I wouldn't want to lose those.

Yeah, I just, the idea, my hardest part, the hardest part about like going, I think we've probably all shared this, uh, like when you go to the gym and you, like, do two exercises, and then just, like, like, all right, I'm done, or you sit outside the gym, just get me to the threshold, and then I'll, I'll be a beast in there.

And then when I come out, I got six pack, everything be awesome.

Guy like me, I, I enjoy the pain of the gym.

Yeah, I enjoy the work.

Yeah, that's the beauty of it.

Okay.

We're going to go with finals week in college.

Ooh, good one.

Okay.

I like learning.

Because right when you're done,

it's summer.

You got to eat.

Yeah, what about all the people who didn't go to college?

Those people aren't going to like the pick.

Okay.

There you go.

I mean, it does mean that you lose all the knowledge that you gain from college, making your degree worthless.

That's actually not

how it's set.

Yeah, because you cram.

Yeah, you wouldn't know the things you do.

Yeah, you would forget all the stuff that you did.

Isn't that also like a fun, like fun party week?

Yeah.

And then you can go out.

There's always one night.

No, that's a good shot.

Sometimes you go out one night and then you drink a little bit too much and you're like, I'm an finals week is by far the worst week of all time.

Is PFT right, though?

You would lose what you learned.

Name me one thing you learned from

finals in college right now.

Everything.

Vietnam was bad.

For who?

Everyone.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Smart as fuck.

There we go.

Just fucking checkmated your ass.

Checkmate.

Hippopotamuses run on the bottom of the river.

Still got it.

Got it.

Imagine if I had gotten that severed?

Yeah.

It'd be different.

I wouldn't know shit about hippopotamuses or Vietnam.

Yep.

Okay.

All right.

Our first pick and second pick.

We're going to go hangovers.

Yes.

Good pick, Hank.

Great pick.

Great pick.

Great pick.

Great pick.

Great pick.

And we're going to go dentist.

Okay.

Good pick.

Dentist.

That was probably going to be my next pick.

So I was thinking about dentists.

I had it on my list.

They do do a lot of drugs now at dentists, which is kind of like borderline severance.

Like, I get the gas every time.

Yeah.

So.

But you don't get to really feel feel the gas before you go out.

I love the gas.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, no, not the gas that like takes you all the way out.

Like the nitrous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

On your Kanye shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That shit rocks.

Okay.

Good picks.

Great pick.

Great pick.

Great pick, Hank.

It's two picks.

Great pick.

What are you thinking?

I'm sick of all this.

I am going to go with...

What are you thinking?

Team game.

Yeah, that was what I was looking at, too.

Yeah, that was good.

We're going to go with travel days.

Okay.

Okay, good pick.

So, like, like traveling in a plane.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, driving is fun.

Road trips can be fun.

Well, is it like it's just a travel day.

Okay.

It's essentially getting to your day.

It's basically teleporting.

You just want to go somewhere and then you're there.

Okay.

Good pick.

All right, Zach, should I just take the ball?

What are we doing here?

Where are you feeling with the ball?

I was feeling three

and

eight.

Three and eight are both great picks.

Okay.

You feel good about it?

I do.

Stay strong, don't break?

I think we're staying strong there.

Has Zach ever objected to when you ask him?

No, he has.

We work shop up to the next one.

We did last.

Yeah, last time we were in between two picks.

We get quite combative in private, but this is a team game.

So in public, we got to stay strong and not break.

We scream at each other.

I want to see the combativeness.

Yeah, well, it's a players-only meeting.

Yeah, I want to see to be a fly on that wall.

Okay, so we're going to go with commuting to work.

Similar to travel days, but it's, you know, traffic, commuting, sucks.

Are you taking traffic or are you taking commuting?

Well, I mean, it's like, I mean, it's commuting.

So, I mean, you have to deal with traffic sometimes, sometimes you don't, but there's just like getting on a train, commuting, driving, sucks.

I think most of our listeners like the commute because they get to listen to our show.

Oh, okay.

Good, good.

So we're just picking everyone's apartment.

Okay, got it.

I mean, I mean, good job there.

No, no, no, that's fine.

Good point.

Good point.

Good point.

That is what we've been doing.

But you could also, listen

to it.

You could listen to the show as the any.

You could.

But then you wouldn't get it as the outside.

But it doesn't matter.

The download will count the same.

Oh, so you're just in it for the

most of our family.

All right.

I like this.

I'm getting combative.

All right.

And then we're going to go the 24 hours after a bad sports loss.

Good one?

Yeah.

So

you lose a fucking terrible game on Sunday.

Just fucking get me to Monday Night Football.

If you get drunk enough, you can kind of do that naturally.

But yeah, I understand.

So let me black out the everyone talking shit online, having to think about the loss, having to think about what went wrong.

Just get me another day away.

Nothing worse than waking up on the Monday after a bad loss.

You don't want to look at any TV screen.

They'll probably show the highlight.

And you do that like just like big sigh, like, fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mondays are way better when your team wins.

They're so much better.

Yeah.

You kind of look forward to Mondays.

Yeah.

I mean, a star player

season-long injury is almost worse because it's not like you can be like next season.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good point.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like

co-star player.

Yeah.

Hank, for the old listeners who are.

Hank just gave a look like, what the fuck, PFT?

My desire to troll Hank is way stronger than my desire to win Mount Rushmore swimming.

Or just be a good teammate.

Oh.

Yeah,

I should be like a good teammate.

You have to, would you say you're the Jalen Brown of your team?

Yeah, yeah, I would.

Yeah.

The guy you want to give the finals MVP to.

Well, no, I meant healthy.

Oh, yeah.

That too.

Okay, who's up?

You guys?

Max?

Memes?

Yep.

We're going to go with

the day after Super Bowl to March Madness.

Get rid of it all.

Okay.

Sever it all.

We had that on our list, too.

That's vacation.

That is our vacation week, but we are not everyone.

Okay, actually, Max, this is maybe the stupidest pick of anybody in the world.

Let's go through the amount of time.

Go off.

Go off.

You just fucking won the Super Bowl, dude.

Oh!

You didn't want to enjoy that.

You would have had no time to enjoy it.

Oh,

you fucking idiot.

Wow.

Bad pick, Max.

You didn't get to enjoy the Super Bowl, idiot.

This is for next year.

Yeah.

What are the exact dates?

I need the exact dates.

What?

I said the day after Super Bowl to the start of March Madness.

So So you're missing the conference tournament week.

And the parade.

Terrible, terrible.

That depends.

How are you missing conference tournament week?

You love the Big East Conference Tournament.

I do.

Okay, that's fine.

That's fine.

That's fine.

I don't care.

I don't care.

That's the pick.

That's the pick.

I don't care what you're doing.

You get no parade.

Can we have in parentheses said by an Eagles fan who just won the Super Bowl?

You don't get to see Nova in the conference tournament.

That's not what you want.

Winning a game or two.

You literally started off this argument by saying, yep, that was our next pick.

And then this pick fucking sucks.

Guess what?

For me, it would have been awesome because my team won the Super Bowl.

The situation remains.

I would have loved not having to think about the Eagles being a Super Bowl champion for a month.

Max,

you've been doing this podcast now three years.

We talk about this as being the worst time of the year every fucking year.

Can I get a timeout?

Where are we?

Can I get a timeout?

And are we speaking?

Can I get a timeout, please?

No.

I I never talk about conference tournament week being.

Yeah, okay.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, you're playing this man's week.

We're best of the year.

Yes, it is the best week of the year.

Sorry, we're playing this.

Can I get a timeout?

Can I get a timeout?

Sure.

You're acting surprised.

How long have you been doing this podcast?

Three years now?

This is your third summer?

This is going to be my fourth grade week.

Fourth grade.

I was just looking at that.

Okay.

You know how this works.

Every single Mount Rushmore season, we play nicey, nice, nicey,

and then something happens to Hank, and then the gloves come off.

This is true.

But then I, and then I get mad.

And this is

the scrim caption draft was

something happened to Hank, and now the gloves are off.

But you're also forgetting, I've been here for four years.

This is how I'm going to respond every single time.

I know, but you have to know that the tone was set for this draft when

you tried to say that finals week rocked.

Well, you might shrink.

I think you learn a lot.

Oh, yeah.

Don't you party during finals week?

It's the the only thing.

You're already going to fucking college, dude.

Hank said that.

Hank said that.

Hanks said that.

I did say that, like, you there's always one night where you go out just a little bit too hard, and you're like, fuck, I shouldn't have done that.

Then you take your final hungover.

And that sucks.

But it was a great night.

No.

Yeah, when you do go out, when you get a little wild during finals week, something you're not supposed to, it's

stealing time.

You wouldn't get it, Max.

Also,

you're missing out Valentine's Day.

I guess you don't love love.

That's okay.

Again, you started this argument by saying that was my next pick.

President's Day, you hate America.

You're disrespecting Mr.

Trump.

Again.

That's fine.

It was actually our second pick, but I didn't choose it.

Good.

Good choice, Hank.

Yeah.

Hank's in the zone right now.

Our last two picks, PFD, I need help on the last one.

We're going to go with traffic.

Good pick, Hank.

Does commuting?

No, you can be a traffic.

Okay, all right.

All right.

You can be driving for pleasure.

Okay.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or are you driving

to get to any destination?

Maybe you're late for dinner.

Yeah.

Late traffic appointment.

Nothing worse than traffic.

Okay.

Hate traffic.

And then I just highlighted one, Hank.

I think that's a good pick.

This was

a good pick on your part.

Are you sure?

Because author Matt said otherwise.

Should we go with his pick?

Yeah, yeah.

His pick.

Yeah.

We'll go with bad breakup.

Hank, break.

What did you just say, Hank?

He was in the room.

What about rebound chicks?

Bad breakup.

Good pick, Hank.

They made a whole movie.

Lowering your standards and doing that.

Really good pick, Hank.

They made a movie.

Really good.

Eternal Sunshine.

Really good pick.

Great film.

Nice job of picking traffic, also.

Okay.

Really good pick.

Do you like traffic?

Yeah, no.

Even though that was like the exact reason.

No, good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick.

What?

No, good pick.

Good pick.

No, no, no.

People listen to part of my take on their commute.

Like people that commute on trains, they walk to work.

They they take their bike to work.

In traffic.

We had three different forms of traffic, by the way.

No, but what was your travel day?

Well, that was air traffic.

Yeah, that's airplanes.

I never said airplanes.

I love driving.

I love driving.

Driving is one of my favorite things to do.

I hate traffic.

That's when you do listen to part of my take.

It is when you listen to part of the traffic.

You will not catch me listening to part of my take in traffic.

You don't listen to that.

That's a good promise.

No, but I think people listen to part of my take on a commute because that's built into their daily routine.

Traffic could be you're trying to.

No, a commute with no traffic is not not as I like my commute.

My commute to work is easy.

If my 20-minute commute turned into a 35-minute commute because of traffic, I would be like, I wish I could put a chip in and get over this.

It's a Saturday.

Maybe you're going to the beach.

Yeah.

Beach traffic.

Yep.

Yeah, beach traffic.

All right, Max.

We're going to go with

food poisoning/slash stomach bug.

Anytime that's being sick.

It is kind of like hangover.

But that's fine.

Yeah.

Okay.

Zach, permission to just go full send, take a risk, take a shot.

This is all.

Rip one.

Let it rip.

Okay, I'm letting it rip.

This is very niche, so it might not play.

Any conversation with Ben Mintz.

Okay?

Oh.

It plays, right?

Yeah.

You just get caught in there.

You just want to get out.

That would be so fucked up to your innie

yeah your innie would try to kill themselves oh my god their entire life is they think that the only person that they talk to the only other person on planet earth is ben i'll give you a counterpoint though yeah i was talking to ben last week oh uh he cornered me a little bit when i was upstairs whatever that's fine i told him he he looked good i asked if he'd been working out he has been working out uh he told me that he is planning on getting under 180 pounds and when he takes his shirt off for the first time, people's brains are going to melt.

He's going to melt brains.

And I'm so glad that I heard Ben Mintz telling that.

Yeah.

Well,

my Audi would have been able to see him take his shirt off.

I just didn't have to hear the story about it because it was definitely not that short.

I saw him today.

They did the Max did the 999 challenge.

They were drinking beers and eating hot dogs.

Some people were hungover from the beers.

And I saw Mintzing.

He

basically said he had a hangover from hot dogs.

He's like, oh, you know, I'm just, you know, the hot dogs.

I'm like, are you,

are you saying you're hungover?

Like, is this a hangover thing?

He also on the yak used the word, which I hadn't heard anyone say in a long time.

He said, I tried to take a crap.

I was like, who says crap?

You'd also want to go crap?

You would miss his winners, though.

In football season.

He doesn't share them.

He shares them after.

Boosts, though.

Boosts.

But he shares the boosts after.

He doesn't share any of those.

He's more of a March Madden.

Oh, fire.

This is going to be a pick that I think is very funny, but we'll we'll see.

It's niche.

It's very niche.

What was the widespread panic line?

Something was fired.

The Chicago Theater was literally on fire.

Walls were shaking.

That's a fun one.

No, that was

when Widespread Panic did.

They did Lawyers, Guns, and Money in Red Rocks.

Mountains were shaking.

The Chicago theater was literally on fire.

It was so funny.

All right, what do we got for honorable mentions?

Then I'll do that.

He just brought us back.

Yeah, he did.

He did.

He brought us all back.

He just brought us all back.

He brought us all back.

Great Mount Rushmore.

Great Mount Rushmore.

I wanted to do it, but I didn't.

I am trying to win, but

it would have been niche just doing the suffocating your adult junkie nephew to protect your crime family.

Oh, that would have been good.

Also, wife dying in a car accident.

It's a valid one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the entire point of the show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I hadn't seen the show earlier.

I had another niche one, but we were trying not to get it to go nuclear here.

It was going to be Hank talking about his golf round.

Right.

You say that, but then other people, like, don't ask me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what they asked.

I didn't make that pick.

I did make the pick.

But you.

You literally bring it up as much possible.

No, no, no, no.

And then you talk about it.

I didn't make the pick.

Every single day on the act about golf.

Well, that's been two days because he's the weirdest golfer ever.

That was a good point.

That was a good point for Him.

Going.

Good point by Hank.

That was a good point for Hank.

Prison.

Not really relatable, but imagine if you could sever.

Like, I actually think that prisoner.

We could get to a technological point where that becomes the thing.

I think prison is a perfect pick.

Yeah.

Military service?

Prison.

Yeah, we had going to war.

We also had getting shot.

I thought about prison, but prison, like, you can't.

That's not like a lot.

The majority of people do not go to prison.

Yeah.

The vast majority.

But if you did, you could say.

Now, at one point, Hank was...

Yeah,

this is in my feels.

This is when I was in my feels.

This is earlier in the morning when I was fully in my feels.

Hank was playing a game of chess against himself like it's that the meme of the guy whose brain wraps all the way under the table and he's playing chess against that uh he had blowing a 3-0 lead in the alcs but then he also had malcolm butler's interception and blowing a 28-3 lead in the super bowl i was trying to throw people oh yeah yeah i was trying to make people think this can't be

smart smart um

what about uh wedding ceremony jury duty jury duty doesn't happen very often but i kind of like the the wedding.

I mean, a wedding ceremony, you would assume it's someone you like and care about, and it's the best day of their life.

No, you want to see

other people's.

But, like, someone you're very close with

to the point you got invited to.

The best day of their life.

It's not even my pick that you're arguing with.

Yeah.

It's an honorable mentions.

Witnessing two people joined for life in front of the eyes of God.

We were going to say labor.

Going to war.

Yeah,

women definitely labor.

Yeah.

Maybe dudes too.

I said military service.

Getting shot.

How would you say it, like, up until because you want to be there for the birth, for like the actual birth part?

It'd also be a scary thing to get off the elevator, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you guys want to hear Zach's?

Yes.

Zach, can you explain?

I'm going to say him and you explain him, okay?

I can do that.

All right.

Port-a-potty.

Sometimes you have to use him, and you just, it's a bad experience.

I actually get an overrated pick.

Excellent pick.

I think that might be even a better pick of Max's pick of the stomach issues.

Yeah.

Okay.

Burning.

That's

very wrong.

Burning your tongue.

It's going to happen to all of us again.

It's happened before.

I'd like to forget it.

But it's like you came back to it.

You still have a burnt tongue.

Yeah.

And it's also just

an initial shock factor is like.

No, but the worst part of a burnt tongue is like after the next week,

you still feel the burnt tongue.

Do you want to get rid of all of that?

I don't hate that if you just want to get rid of all of that.

If we could just skip anything involved with tongue, like biting the tongue too, like tongue injury.

Tongue injuries.

Okay, I like that.

No one likes them.

Mondays was a good idea.

Mondays.

Good Monday night.

Monday football sucks sometimes.

Actually, Max should have taken it because he doesn't watch Monday Night Football.

Yeah.

Eagles play packs.

But he does love lasagna.

Yeah.

This one I liked.

Anytime I have to take my shirt off.

Yeah, skip that.

That's a good idea.

But then the problem is that gets reversed.

Pool, boat.

Like, those are fun times.

Yeah.

True.

So that's, that's where it kind of falls apart.

But

not an intercourse guy.

Yeah.

On the surface, that was a good pick.

Then here's where we got a little sideways.

Just math.

Skip it.

Yeah.

Skip it.

It can get so difficult.

That's like going to be like counting.

Like, what if I'm counting an over in my head?

No, but that means that, yeah,

your Audi can do zero math.

Zero math.

I don't know anything math related.

I think you can get around.

Yeah.

And this one one was probably the one that made me laugh the most because I don't know how relatable this is.

Kidnapping.

Getting kidnapped.

Have you ever been kidnapped before?

No, but if so, skip it.

Yeah.

Skid it.

Delete it.

Skip.

Like any trauma whatsoever.

I was just like, Zach, I don't know if that one plays because like...

A lot of people don't get kidnapped.

But I would say the ones who have would be like, yeah, if I could just not have been, if I could forget it all.

Yeah, true.

But then what if, what if you get,

what if you get recovered by the police and they're like, can you describe your kidnappers to us?

And you're like, fuck.

Yeah.

And then you have to think it could be anybody.

Or you keep making the same mistake, keep getting in that van.

Yeah.

I think forgetting the trauma would be better than the justice being served.

So maybe they got away with kidnapping me, but at least I don't have to remember how it went down.

Okay.

But anyone offers you free candy, you're kind of a sitting duck.

Yeah.

We had

losing a Mount Rushmore that you chose.

We had a pizza toppings Mount Rushmore.

We had Meeting Your Childhood Hero and Stepping On Their Sunglasses.

We had Hail Marys that go against your team.

For a while, we thought maybe we'll just go fully, we'll just go nuclear against everyone.

And just like that.

And this was part of the

really lashing out.

Getting over it.

We have to cleanse it with all our mean.

That's good.

That's healthy.

Yeah.

Last season of Game of Thrones.

Oh, good call.

Good call.

Anything else, Hank?

Hank, you should watch Severance.

I think you would like it.

Yeah, you should.

What about,

like, I was trying to figure out, like, if there's a way that your innie could just eat healthy.

We said that.

You said dieting, but, like...

Actually, having a diet.

Like, maybe every meal during dieting.

So it's just, like.

Like, if your innie could, like, if you had the chip and every time you stepped in your kitchen.

And then you're, and then that guy was just eating the best food.

The most healthy food.

Yeah, that's what you're doing.

You walk out and you're, like, satisfied.

Yeah.

And you have no idea that you're full of fucking fucking fucking.

You're full, but you don't realize you're full on celery.

Right.

What?

What?

They're so fucked, by the way.

They ran back inside.

They're just going to die in there.

Oh, we're talking real Severance.

Mark, yeah.

Yeah, we'll see.

It's going to be interesting what happens.

When is the next season?

Do we know?

Wait, didn't you say that you didn't watch the show?

No, he watched.

Yeah, we talked about it for weeks.

Yeah.

Big Cat said a second ago, Hank, you would really, really like Severance, i think i said that

because hank told me that he'd never watched the show before we started this oh good job hank mental mental art of war very smart so you had to appear weak when you were strong yes i fucking was obsessed with it dude hank just why did you tell me you'd never seen it then i was just upset with you

what does that have to do

with i said why are we doing this and he said i said what's the mountain rush war again you said it's things we'd like to be severed from i said what does that mean i've never seen the show

got him what is that dude you got chest you you got chest-pieced by him.

You did.

You got chest-pieced.

Shit, that's on me.

You got pieced up.

Actually, yeah, I do remember talking to you about the show.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

He talked about it all the time.

My boy Hank.

We all talked about it together.

I severed.

I severed it.

You got pieced.

You got pieced up.

But I don't understand

where's the joy coming from that.

Right now.

Yeah.

Right now.

You look like a fucking idiot.

200 IQ move my hand.

Shit.

Sorry.

What an idiot.

I still got it, Hank.

I feel like this might be how Hank got his groove back.

I think so.

No.

I think you guys are going to win.

Hank was in the zone.

Oh, Wasniaki called called it.

I think you guys are going to win.

Okay.

All right.

Let's get to our interview with Scotty Scheffler.

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Okay, here he is, Scotty Scheffler.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest, recurring guest.

I could say friend of the program, right, Scotty?

Yeah, yeah, friend of the program.

All right, love it.

Friend of the program, recurring guest, Scotty Scheffler, fresh off of his open championship win.

He's got the Claret Jug, his fourth major, his second major this year.

He is absolutely on fire.

And he's also in Happy Gilmore 2, which is coming out this week.

So let's start there, Scotty.

I know you only give yourself two minutes to enjoy a major victory, but I did see you on the red carpet of Happy Gilmore 2 with all these guys, and you had the Claret Jug.

Was that the coolest thing?

Were you able to allow yourself an extra couple days of enjoying the victory when you're standing with the Claret Jug at a red carpet premiere?

Yeah, I mean, that was pretty cool.

I think sometimes it feels like my wife and I live like two separate lives where you have like this one life where you're going out and doing kind of crazy stuff like that where, you know, one day we're playing in the open championship and the next day we're in new york at you know premiere of happy gilmore like a movie i grew up watching and then you know the next morning we go out early get some bagels and then we catch a flight and head home and then stuff just back to normal yeah

but yeah that was that was it was pretty fun yeah it seemed like a good time uh congratulations you are the the champion golfer of the year is that the official moniker That's the official deal, yeah.

The champion golfer of the year.

It's a great title to hold.

And the jug, I'm a big fan of the claret Jug.

I don't know if you're a big partier, though.

Like, did you drink anything fun out of the Claret Jug?

I haven't drank anything out of the Claret Jug yet.

We have a celebration planned this Friday with a bunch of our friends here at home.

So that'll be the time to celebrate.

But really, I mean,

we got done late Sunday night.

Then you do all the stuff after.

We actually had to catch a flight to get to New York.

to get to the Happy Gilmore Premiere because

we had planned on that all along.

So we had, you know, everything scheduled.

So, kind of got

out of town pretty quick.

So, didn't have much time to celebrate.

Yeah.

Did you fly with the trophy?

Did you carry it on or did you have to check that?

Um,

I uh I did not bring it on the plane, it went underneath the plane.

We were riding, it was, we rode over with uh

with Bryson and uh Tony Final, so it didn't really feel like I should be just bringing the trophy on the plane.

That's nice of you.

I guess my question was presupposing that you were flying commercial over there and back, which I realized was a very dumb question to ask in the moment.

But yeah, I mean, you played really, really well.

I sense that watching you play in the open, that the biggest moments of celebration for you on the course weren't for birdies or like, you know, great scores and holes, but on your pars that you had, your unlikely pars with your putter.

Is that kind of how you process it as you were going through?

Like being able to use your putter to get you out of a jam?

That was what you got the most satisfaction out of?

Well, yeah, I mean, that's that's a good observation.

I think you know, I made some important putts.

Yeah, I could shot.

Ball noer.

No, like I said, that was a good point.

I think, especially during Sunday's round,

I made a nice birdie on one, good birdie on four, and then I made a really nice putt on five.

And so I had maybe a five or six shot lead.

And

I think when you have a big lead like that, you don't really want to give the guys behind you much to look at in terms of like, oh, he's making some mistakes.

You know, if I could do this and that, then it'll put some pressure on him.

And so making those putts for par are really important, especially the ones I made for par, like the putt I made for parr on six was I hit the iron shot exactly how I wanted to, and the ball just didn't, did not react in the air at all, at all how we thought it would.

And then on seven, it's a reachable par five.

I shouldn't have a putt for par there.

I should be having a pretty good look for Birdie.

And so to make that putt also, both of those were really important for momentum during the round.

And it was just nice to kind of be able to stay ahead of those guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, your mental game is insane.

Like they had the stat about, you know, when you bogey a hole,

your bounce back is just like off the charts.

And you mentioned you obviously have a big lead on Sunday.

Human nature, at what point were you like, all right, I think I got this?

Or do you not allow yourself at all?

I mean, I've allowed myself to do that once in my career.

It was at the masters in 22 when I four-punted the last hole.

And so,

I mean, I...

During the middle of the round, you just, you can't let yourself think like that.

Really, I didn't really feel like it was one until you hit the ball in the green on 18.

You're like, all right, I can figure out a way to like lag it up there and five putts or whatever it was that I had to deal with there at the end.

So it's very difficult, but yeah, I try not to let my mind wander to that kind of stuff and really feel like you haven't won, just because, especially in Lynx golf, like disasters can happen like that.

I mean, like, I, after I made those part putts on six and seven on Sunday, you know, I come back on number eight and I quickly make a double.

And so you just don't know, you just don't know what's going to happen.

And so you got to be prepared for all things and, you know, try not to celebrate too early.

Yeah.

I mean, it was, it was an incredible tournament.

You were on fire.

What, what is special about Ted Scott, your caddy?

Because this is not only, obviously, he, he's been on your bag for these major victories, but he was on Bubba Watson's bag.

Like, it seems that he is at the top of his game at the same time that you're top of your game.

Is that fair to say?

Yeah, I mean, Teddy is an amazing caddy.

He's a great person.

I mean, he's one of those guys that

when he meets somebody, they feel like they're his best friend because he just treats people so well.

He's an amazing guy to be around.

Everybody's his best friend.

He's extremely likable.

And so having him out there on the bag, like he works as hard as I do, if not harder.

And so when he gives me information out there on the golf course that I can really, I can really trust knowing that he's not just making stuff up.

He knows exactly what slope is up there.

He knows exactly how the ball is going to react.

Like he just knows his stuff so that I can go out there and just try to hit the shot.

And I feel like with both of us out there, like his preparation is so important to what we do.

And I mean, he's just a great asset for me on the golf course.

He's one of my best friends in the whole world, too.

He's just an all-around great guy.

Yeah.

Is there a specific time, maybe it wasn't even this tournament, where you maybe disagreed about a shot and you leaned towards him and it was like, it was spot on.

You're like, fuck, he really knows this.

Yeah, that's a good question.

Thank you.

Yeah,

it's just a great question.

Gosh, I don't have a good memory for that kind of stuff.

I'm kind of one of those guys that like once the day ends, I feel like I forget everything.

But I definitely have some instances of some putts for sure where there's been like the Olympics.

The Olympics last year was a great example of a week where I was just struggling on the greens and we made the turn

on Sunday and I missed another easy,

I missed another easy birdie put on nine.

And all of a sudden the tournament's like getting away from me.

I'm arguably out of metal contention at this point.

I look at Teddy and I'm like, dude, I do not know what I'm doing out here.

He's like, well, just let me read some putts.

And I was like, okay.

And so he started reading putts for me the whole back nine Sunday in Paris.

And I basically made everything and we played great and ended up, you know, winning a gold medal.

And we got off the course.

And when the tournament was over, I was like, Teddy, I literally do not think that I could have won this golf thing without you on my back.

Like

I don't think there's a way that I could have done it.

And that was just a really cool moment for us because in golf, like Teddy really is such a huge part of what we do.

But I think sometimes in golf, the focus so much on the player, but Teddy is a huge part of what I do.

And it was really cool to be able to share that moment with him and be like, I literally could not tell him this is not even one bag.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Seems like a great dude.

When we're watching you dominate the field at the Open Championship, and really it's been for the last, I'd say, year or so,

the discourse inevitably becomes, is Scotty Scheffler Tiger Woods?

Everything about you gets compared to Tiger Woods and the start that he got off to.

Do you find those comparisons flattering or are they like rat poison?

Like, don't tell me that.

I don't want to hear that.

We're different people.

Because I feel like if somebody compared me to Tiger Woods, I'd be like, hell yeah.

Yeah, I'm Tiger.

You know, like, I'd be excited about that.

Yeah.

I mean, I think anytime you can get mentioned in the same breath as some of the greats of the game, I think is really cool.

But the comparisons, I think, are just very silly.

Like, Tiger stands alone in the game of golf.

I mean, he completely transcended the game.

He was.

By far the best player that I think we'll ever see in our lifetimes.

And,

I mean, I think people are always looking for that next thing, but there's only one Tiger Woods.

And, you know, the rest of us are just trying to do our best out there.

I think that's really all it comes down to.

I think for me, I think it's silly too, just because I'm my own person.

I'm my own guy.

I'm just trying to get the best out of myself.

And

it's not something that I think about on a daily basis, but when you see some statistics and you're being compared to him in some way, that means you're doing something right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I alluded to it at the beginning.

I was half joking about the you can celebrate a major for two minutes.

You had the comments on before the Open Championship.

Were you surprised that people kind of took it in a weird way?

Because I watched it and I said, Scotty's basically saying that you can't have golf just be the only thing in your life because if it starts to fail, then like, what's life, you know?

And you have a family and you have faith and all these other things that are just as important to you.

Yeah, I would say that that's what I was trying to communicate because

like we are, I'm sitting there in the media center again.

They're like, like hey how are you gonna do this to win this week what's what's gonna happen this week and I'm just sitting there thinking like guys I'm answering the same questions over and over again like if I win this tournament I'm gonna show up at the next tournament and you're gonna be like all right how are you gonna win this week and it's like you just live in this in this you know time frame where like it's we're always on to the next thing and um you know that's that's really how it feels sometimes like uh just when it comes to celebrating like it feels really awesome for those those few like fleeting moments of just like pure elation after you win a golf tournament like when the ball finally goes the whole Sunday give Teddy a hug shake hands and I you know I see my wife and my son it's like I mean it's the craziest feeling in the world but it just does not last like that that adrenaline that feeling just lasts for a few moments and it's I mean it's like a drug you just want more of it but the feeling of like happiness and satisfaction I have being able to accomplish like a lifelong dream lasts for me for a long time like I mean, it's a pretty amazing thing for me to be able to accomplish something like that.

And it's something that I'm very grateful for.

But like you said, it's not the only thing that's in my life.

Like striving to win golf tournaments is the only thing is going to lead to a lifetime of disappointment, basically.

Right, right.

Do you, did you realize when you had that press conference that it

maybe you weren't planning this, but it was a total mind fuck for your competition?

Because you're playing so well and you're like, yeah, and I only celebrate for like two minutes.

I remember walking out of that room and I'm looking at Blake, my manager up known as I'm like 10 years years old.

And I was like,

gosh, why did I just like start ranting like that?

I was just, I was like, this is why I don't say anything.

Like, this is going to take, things get taken out of context.

I'm just like, I don't know why I did that.

I hope that made a little bit of sense to some people.

He's like, nah, that's all right.

Let's go.

Yeah, I think it was good.

Yeah, it was great.

We're being honest, and I don't think that you said anything that was incorrect at all.

The thing I'm starting to be concerned about is: do you allow your son to celebrate the championships for too long?

Like, does he, does he, is he getting a big head?

Because a lot of guys use their children as human shields when they do something bad.

You do the opposite.

He like deflects the success from you.

Yeah.

Where he might get a big head

because he's a champion.

The kid, all he does is win.

Have you had a moment where you're like, hey, this is very hard to do.

And they only remember that you won one week at a time.

We're on to the next one.

Yeah, yeah.

It's been a real challenge keeping Ben humble on this time.

Getting a little too big for his britches.

He's getting a little

cocky.

We're humbling him now at home.

He's getting back in line.

yeah is he bored of it like all he does is win on sundays does he love winning

well

loves it he definitely has an idea of what's going on for sure yeah yeah but back to your comments so i i do i think that the reason why it kind of made a life of its own is that when we look at athletes we think that's all they care about and you're just being honest you're like hey i got other things like i love this i care about it obviously if i didn't care about it the way i do i wouldn't be as good as i am but it's weird like it's it's almost jarring for sometimes for people to be like, oh, these guys are humans too, and they have other things going on in their lives.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that's something that'll resonate, you know, with you guys as well.

Like you live a life of doing a sports show and, you know, talking to the masses day in, day out.

And, but like, that's not your whole life.

That's what you do in a time period during the day.

And then you go home and you do other stuff.

You know, you have a family, you have friends.

like like when i think about my son like what would be my goal for my son to be in his life and like when i think about it i'm just like i want i want bennett to live a full life i want him to experience things and so the way to experience things is like trying to be present where you are and so you know when we're here doing i'm doing this interview with you guys you know my phone's up i'm not distracted doing my other things you know we're going to enjoy 15 20 minutes wherever it is and then i'm going to head out and i'm going to go spend some time with my son and

like you just want to be present where you are and be have a full experience of things and you know that's my goal for him i don't want him

I don't want the most important thing in his life to be his job or to be something that he can accomplish.

Like, I want him to just live a full life and experience things.

Yeah, it's a great, it's a great, great perspective.

We'll get back to Scotty in a second.

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And now here's more Scotty Scheffler.

I have a weird question for you.

Have you seen the movie Boss Baby?

No.

Okay.

Well, this is going to be hard to explain then.

It's an animated animated movie.

Maybe Bennett will watch it when he gets a little older.

I watch it with my kids a lot, and it's basically like it's a baby, but he can talk like a human when the other adults aren't around, and he's like a mastermind.

Is there a chance Bennett is a boss baby and he's actually giving you all the tips of the golf game?

Yeah, there is a chance.

You know, there was a couple photographs that we saw on Sunday after the round where he's like,

Like, like, what, what do we...

And it just, I mean, it killed us.

That's what made me think of it because I saw the one where he was like, like, what?

This is impressive.

We do this every Sunday.

Yeah.

He might be boss baby.

When I hear people say, like, Scotty Shuffler, they get annoyed, like, oh, I don't think he loves golf as much as I do, or that type of thing.

I think you love golf.

You love winning at golf.

You wouldn't be at the spot that you're at right now if you didn't deeply, deeply care about improving as a golfer.

But there are things that are more important in life than golf.

So I have a list of things.

You tell me if you love winning at golf more than these things.

And we can put some of the, you know, put the haters in their place.

Mowing the lawn.

Yeah,

I'd rather win a golf stream.

Okay.

Ice cream.

Yeah, probably golf strand.

Okay.

Obeying lawful commands from a police officer.

It's overrated.

And then the last one, Stu Feiner.

Yeah, Stu Feiner.

As much as I love, you know, good old Stu Finer, probably still good with golf.

Okay, so you you really love golf?

Yeah.

What about golf?

What about the Dallas Cowboys?

Yeah, that's a good one.

If the Dallas Cowboys won a Super Bowl, I think that would be up there for sure.

Okay, so we found the line.

Yeah, what's the conversion rate?

Like one major for a Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl, or would you give up two?

Gosh, that's a good question.

Yeah, good question.

Yeah, another great question.

Hard-hitting

afternoon.

Gosh, I don't know.

I would trade one for sure for a Super Bowl.

Okay.

I've been rooting for a Super Bowl for a long time as well.

A lot of hard work gone into, you know,

cheering on the boys and a lot, arguably a lot more disappointed in football than there is in golf.

How many waste managements?

Oh, like 10.

Oh, all right.

Okay, yeah, there's the conversion.

You know, that I'm sure Stu Feiner is going to be out at the Ryder Cup for you.

Yeah.

It's like in his backyard, literally his backyard.

He lives like

a half a mile from Beth Page.

Well, that'd be fun.

We need all the support we can get out there.

Yeah.

Stu would definitely be part of the

roundy New York crowd.

Yeah.

Are you excited?

Because I was saying this on a show I was doing just a second ago.

Like, this is the time of season where I just miss Stu.

I'm ready for Stu to get back.

Do you miss Stu?

Are you ready for him to be back on your Sundays?

Yeah, I mean,

football season is definitely something that we long for for sure.

That's what's great about football is like you only get it for this period of time in the year, and then it ends, and you're like, crap.

It's like it ends in in February.

You're like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do until September?

Yeah.

You're like, and so, you know, just, it's exciting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I'm ready to get sued back.

I'm ready to, you know, watch the Longhorns, watch the Cowboys.

It's going to be fun.

Yeah, it's funny you say that because it's like, what do you do starting February?

Just win all the golf tournaments.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, you have the best.

You actually have the best.

That was the most like relatable fan moment ever.

But your offseason from football, I think, is better than anybody else's on planet Earth.

Yeah.

You're just like, but I really wish I just won another major, but I really wish it was football season.

That's great.

All right, I got a question.

This probably you probably don't love when people ask for tips on their golf game, but I got a friend who I'm wondering if you could maybe fix him real quick.

So I'm going to lay it on you and you can tell me what he could work on.

He said, the thing about my golf game is that I slice my driver pretty often.

I'm not super comfortable hitting with woods or hybrids.

My five or six irons are inconsistent.

Seven and nine are solid.

Pitching wedge and Sam Wedge are fun for loft, but I struggle chopping those.

I putt the ball.

I'm also just okay at putting.

That's the thing.

That's the one thing.

Yeah, that's the one thing.

Yeah.

Do you have any tips?

Gosh, I don't know where to start.

I was trying to track it first, and then I just got lost.

Yeah, he just kept on going.

What do you think about this golfer, our friend Stephen Shea?

What do you think about teeing it up in the fairway?

Would you ever do that

i mean no not in the fairway but teeing it up is actually a really good way to practice when you're learning golf oh but but by no means when you're actually playing golf would i be teeing both in the fairway he does that yeah he tees it up in the fairway i mean i respect it for pace of play yeah yeah that's it's tragic for pace of play move along uh our resident golf expert hank probably has a question for you.

Yeah, Hank actually has gotten a lot better at golf.

So he's he's what do you

think Scotty cares?

No, Hank's.

No, Hank is really good at golf like if you're at a point in your life where you're beating Hank you are a very good golfer fifty beat me last week

Do you have an internal monologue like when you when you make a bogey big cow is talking about the bounce back stats like do you get mad at yourself?

Do you talk to yourself or do you just like blank everything out when you're playing?

No, I mean like when you're on the golf course you're you're on the golf course for a long period of time Especially on Thursdays and Fridays when you're playing threes when you're out there for five and a half six hours So your mind definitely wanders throughout the day.

But I think what's most important is the time you spend over the ball.

But then, yeah, when mistakes happen, I

yeah, I get really frustrated.

I'm not sure exactly what I say.

It depends on the day for sure.

But yeah, I just get really frustrated.

And early in my career, I would definitely take it too far to the point where it would have started affecting what I would do after that.

But I think getting the frustration out is what's important and like leaving it there.

And so like, yeah, I may bang a club or two.

I may slam something, but

by the time I get over the next shot, like, I'm focused on what's at hand here.

Um,

but I don't really have like a good, a good trick per se to be like, hey, you know, you'll get on the next one.

You're like, that's that's not gonna work.

I just hit in the water.

Like, what do you mean the next one?

I'm about to make double here.

Yeah.

And so I think it's more just trying to reset, like, let the frustration be there.

And then when you start walking to the next shot, it's like, start playing ahead and figuring out what you're going to do to shoot a score.

There you go, Hank.

We should talk real quick.

Happy Gilmore 2 is out on Friday.

How are you at acting?

Grade yourself, Scotty Scheffler, the actor, in Happy Gilmore 2.

I mean, maybe like a C-, you know, a passing grade.

Okay.

I'd give myself a passing grade, but I'm definitely not going to give myself much more than that.

I mean,

how many lines did you have?

I had a few lines.

I mean, it was fun.

I'll let y'all watch the movie.

I mean, so we watched it on Monday night, and I was, I mean, I was surprised by how much we enjoyed the movie.

I mean, it's so hard with comedies to follow up the original, especially when the original is such a classic like that.

But they did a really, really good job of, you know, kind of remembering the original movie by having a lot of that stuff in there, like a lot of reminiscing about the old movie while still having like a good storyline for the new one.

And lots of really funny stuff.

I mean, I was cracking up.

Like a lot of the guys that came in and did their cameos did an amazing job.

And, you know, Adam, they do such a good job on set of keeping you relaxed.

Like when you walk into this area and all of a sudden we're filming a movie, that's something that I'm extremely uncomfortable with.

And they just do a job of making you feel at home, being your friend.

Everybody on set was so amazing.

I mean, it was really, really relaxed.

And you can tell why Adam's so good at producing movies and why he always has the same guys come back time and time again, because they have fun.

and they do a really good job and they make everybody comfortable.

Amongst your peers, other golfers, who was the best actor?

I mean the one i laughed the hardest at i actually texted xander this the other day was was xander's lines in the movie are really really funny him and ricky did a really good job and so so did wills aleatoris i mean to be honest with you i thought everybody did a great job i mean i i can't imagine how difficult it is for real actors to deal with us trying to make a movie not look terrible and they did a really good job of like helping us along and um just doing a really good job with the movie i mean it was really entertaining and really funny yeah that's a good mental game thing too again let them be better at acting you can handle the the golf.

You got the sneaky mental game going.

You get them a little off.

They're like, oh, yeah, he can't do this.

Are we going to win the Ryder Cup?

That's the plan.

We got to win the Ryder Cup.

Please.

Please.

Hey, nobody wants to win the Ryder Cup more than I do.

Okay.

Okay.

Can you, can you?

I guess there are a lot of rules, but it would be awesome if you just called your own number for every match.

And you're just like, like a chess master when they play like 10 people at once, you just do that.

You walk from the first hole to like the 13th to hit your second shot, then back to the first.

Yeah.

No, the ride-up is going to be fun.

It'll be exciting.

It's good to be back on home soil.

And Keegan, I mean, Keegan's been amazing so far.

I mean, he's been great for us.

He's extremely fired up.

And

I think the whole team right now is really excited about getting there.

It's coming home.

That's what we've been saying.

Does Rory have any more tips for you on how to improve your game and make you more dominant?

No, no.

Since then, he hadn't really given me any tips, to be honest with you.

Were you thinking about making that change?

Because I know the story got written about like Rory McElroy told Scotty Scheffler, hey, here's what you should change about your putter.

And then you did that because Rory said it.

But there might be more nuance to it than that.

Yeah, I think Rory said something about me switching putters on coverage somewhere, but I have a putting coach, Phil Kenny, who helps with all that stuff.

And, you know, he'd been trying to get me to do that for a while.

And he'd also been trying to get me to switch to the claw grip for a while.

And I finally just gave in to Phil's kind of pestering of me, trying new things and kind of gave in and you know a lot of this work so far phil's been phil's been tremendous yeah it's almost not fair how you're good at putting now that's it it's really are you good for golf

you tell me

no i mean you're you're you're dominant and you are fun to watch and so we we respect greatness on this show yeah did you um did you happen to see the phil mickelson tweet I did see the Phil Mickelson tweet.

It was quite a tweet.

It was quite a tweet.

It was a great tweet.

It was a great tweet.

He said you you weren't going to win anything.

And I actually think he threw in.

So I think the real tweet was hot take.

Scotty's not going to win anything in 2025 until the Ryder Cup.

I think he was just throwing in the Ryder Cup because he couldn't go against USA there.

I think he really wanted to say you're not going to win anything.

I would agree with that.

I think that's what he was trying to say, but you can't say that America is going to lose the Ryder Cup when you're an American.

So he was like kind of threw in that little cookie there at the end because Phil's not dumb.

Phil's very smart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that was a really dumb tweet because you've won everything.

Yeah, it didn't age very well.

I'm very pleased with

yeah, I have a very important question for you.

Uh, the

at the open,

I'm trying to remember what hole it was.

I think it was the 17th.

Did you fart?

Oh,

yeah, that was me.

Was it actually?

Oh, yeah, that was me.

That's awesome.

Was that just a complete accident?

I mean, no, I mean, it's, I mean, you're out there for like six hours.

Like, you're eating some different food over there.

Some stuff's going to happen.

Like,

did you know that it was that loud?

No, I mean, you never know when the boom mic's there.

You never know what they're going to pick up.

I'm actually, I'm definitely surprised it hasn't happened more in the past, picking up stuff like that.

But

I literally didn't think anything about it.

And then after we got inside, Xander was showing me the video.

He just pulls up the video, and I see myself standing on 17.

I was like, oh, I know what this is.

Wait, did

none of the reporters asked you?

No, wow, that journalism dead.

Yeah, that's a big, that's a big get.

How would you grade your fart?

I thought it was very funny.

It was great.

It was a good robust.

Yeah, good.

It got a nice sound to it.

Yeah.

The smell because we were outside.

It was perfect.

Yeah, because like that, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, like, that's actually a nervous situation.

Like, what if you had like a little like toot and it was like, oh, that's Scotty's farts?

Like, oh, yeah, I would judge you.

What the hell?

Like, what was that?

That was a man's fart.

That was a man's fart.

Did it smell?

No, we were outside.

So, I mean, Grease is blonde.

Somebody else caught it.

It wasn't me.

All right.

I got one last question.

It's a roback question.

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This has been awesome, Scotty.

We love having you on.

Happy Gilmore 2 out Friday, July 25th, which is today when this is airing.

This is an important question.

I'm going to see how you're going to handle it because you're actually the perfect guy to ask this question.

And this is something we ask a lot of guests.

Do you think you're a better golfer or person?

You know,

I think right now,

that's a good question.

I would say that I definitely fall short as a person.

Like

it would be tough to say that I'm, you know, the best person in the world.

This is

like I'm

this is getting you higher on the person right now.

Yeah, but this is a conundrum for us.

Yeah.

Because usually when people say better human being than he is a golfer, we're like, no, wait a second.

This guy is far and away the best golfer in the world.

Yeah.

He's not top number one, but the fact that you're so humble that you acknowledge all shortcomings, it's making me think.

Let me ask you in a different way.

Have you come to grips with the fact that you will never be a better person than you are a golfer?

Yeah, I mean, I think

I mean, it's like,

I just, you know, I think my wife's in the next room if you want her to,

she's got the best part of her phone right now of all my, you know, transgressions.

So you can tell you that I'm very far from a perfect person.

Damn it, you got us because it is one of our favorite like cliches that, like, it started when J.J.

Watt retired.

And they're like, J.J.

Watt, as good of a football player, was, as he was, he's a better person.

It's like, listen, he's a great person, but that just can't be true because he's one of the best football players of all time.

You can't be one of the best 100 humans of all time.

It's not saying you're a bad human.

It's just saying you're the best golfer.

There's no way you'll ever be a better person than golfer.

Yeah, I think that's a fair observation.

God damn it.

Now he's the best post.

Now you are the best.

It's like Schrödinger's cat.

You completely checkmate us.

We've been doing this bit for years, and this is the first person to be like, yeah, you know what?

I got to get better as a person, but I'm probably never going to be a better person than the support I play.

Shit.

This is really tough for us.

I think he's a better person.

I think you as good.

Yeah.

I think as good a human being as you're a golfer.

Tiger, maybe you could make the argument, Tiger was a better golfer over his career.

Yeah.

And Scotty Scheffler.

Yeah.

So you've got some room to go up, but the more you win, the harder that conversation is going to be for us to have.

Yeah.

Damn.

I would say I have plenty of room to improve on the person front and definitely plenty of room to improve as a golfer as well.

You check me.

Well done.

Yeah.

Well done, Scotty.

Scotty, you're the best, man.

Thank you so much for your time.

We really appreciate it.

Happy Gilmore 2.

Anytime you want to come on, we love having you on, recurring guest.

And congrats again, man.

Incredible season.

Let's go win the Ryder Cup.

Yeah, let's do it.

Let's do it.

Well, thanks, guys.

Appreciate all having me on.

Good to talk to you guys again.

I'll see you soon.

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Okay, it is time for Firefest.

Henry is sitting in

the big boy chair.

The biggest boy chair.

He's sitting in the big boy chair.

He's in.

Feel that seat out nicely, Hank.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, look at that.

Now, this feels right.

It's very funny.

Oh, he's continuing the trend from Mount Rushmore to take shots at everyone.

Hank.

No, well, PFT is whatever.

Yeah, yeah.

PFT is sick.

I don't want to beat me when he's down.

We also had a great Mount Rushmore today.

But my Fire Fest is Mount Rushmore related, I guess.

I might have had a bad day at work yesterday.

I might have been lashing out left and right.

Well, I think

what I said, I think, was spot on.

Like, this is every summer.

It literally is just, you know, we're going to be able to do it.

Yeah, but you want to both do the motion.

Literally, any action towards you, and then it's just over.

And get more mature.

No.

I don't want you to grow or get more mature.

That's what makes this fun.

He just kept coming up to me all day yesterday, telling me how useless I am.

Yeah, like

when AWLs say they're excited for Mount Rushmore season, I think what they're really saying is they're excited for Hank lashout season.

Because that's what it is.

That's the feature part of the summer.

The beauty about it is we keep getting older and Hank stays the same age.

He's like Peter Pan.

Yeah.

But yeah, that was, you know, after some reflection, I felt a little bit bad about that.

Max, I somewhat apologize.

So he is useful?

Yeah.

That's sometimes.

Somewhat accept.

I somewhat accept.

Somewhat accept.

That's fair.

But you show me a good loser.

I'll show you a loser.

Hank takes it personally.

He takes it seriously.

And that's why I love having him on my team.

I'd much rather have a guy like Hank on there that just lashes out and goes nuclear against everybody with it in their mouth than a guy that doesn't care at all about Mount Rushmore.

Yeah.

Facts.

And Scotty, Scotty's words have actually resonated with me.

I've been thinking about him a lot.

Just

let it all out.

By the time you're stepping over the ball on your next shot,

you got to be focused.

Do you think you're going to be able to beat Scotty Schuffler?

No, but I think in terms of dealing with frustrations, that's a good way to think about it.

Like, it's like I was wondering if he maybe just internalizes it or doesn't get frustrated, but he was like, no, you can get frustrated.

You should get frustrated.

Just get it all out.

And yesterday was me getting it all out.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

So, your takeaway from Scotty was

you're like lashing out and being mean to people and taking shots at people is totally fine.

That's

part of the process.

Yes.

Okay, I like that.

As long as the next Bount Rushmore says your mind is clear.

Yeah, yeah.

Or next about Rushmore, you know, recording your mind is clear.

So that for a second there, I was like, did Scotty Scheffler make Hank more mature?

And it's like, no, he actually just told Hank.

Hank just interpreted Scotty Scheffler's words into you're doing nothing wrong, dude.

Yeah, according to Hank.

No,

be mad.

Just don't be mad before you record the next.

I have something else.

Scotty Suffler.

He goes over the ball like five, like the next ball.

He said, I'm just like you, Hank.

Me and you react to adversity and failures.

No, see, that's that's now your gas out.

Hey, Max is right, too, though.

He does go, he does stand over the ball like a hundred times.

No, he goes over to the next ball like five minutes later.

Yeah.

We do a Mount Rushmore every two days.

Yeah.

So that's.

And also you did

48 hours.

You did carry it into the next Mount Rushmore.

But that was...

Was that before or after we did Scotty Shuffler?

It was after.

No, I was good yesterday.

I mean, kind of.

Me and PFD crushed it.

No, no.

Wait, wait, are you saying good, like, doing well on Mount Rushmore or being nice to us?

Being in a good mindset.

Okay, so being nice to us is irrelevant.

It's about the mindset.

Okay, all right, got it.

It's about being nice to yourself.

That's what Scotty was saying.

You have to forgive yourself for your transgressions.

It has nothing to do with.

Well, I gotta take that.

What he was saying is you gotta be focused, like you gotta be able to, you know, hyper-focused on what's in front of you.

Sometimes, in order to win in what's in front of me, like shots have to be taken.

Yeah, to get to what's in front of you, you have to basically push everyone down.

That's Mount Rushmore season, right?

It's a competition.

Like, you gotta, you gotta win.

Yeah, you gotta.

Who do you think loves their family more?

Scotty Scheffler with his kid or Hank with his 18 kids?

It's tough.

It's tough.

Probably Scotty.

You really love your 18 kids.

I do.

A lot.

I do.

A lot, a lot.

A lot.

yeah a lot of lot of 18 18 kids sometimes 27 kids yeah sometimes 36 yeah sometimes

go ahead

54 there you go it's live remember it's live

all right if to your mount rush wait so or sorry your fire fest you're so hang just in summation your fire fest is uh don't change anything no false my fire fest is i was lashing out yesterday and i apologize for but you're gonna do it again.

No.

If I hit a bad shot, my goal is to not hit any bad shots.

Yeah, but if you hit a bad shot, Scotty told you it's okay to walk up to your coworkers and tell them they're useless.

Not specifically,

but that it's okay to lash out.

Okay.

Yeah.

By the way, I love the countdown clock.

The countdown clock to football is good.

I think it could be bigger, Zach.

That's my only note.

Like, I would like a bigger clock.

I would like multiple clocks.

And I was telling them, I want this clock to explode when football hits.

Like, when it hits zero, I want some sort of, some sort of like fireworks or pyrotechnics that comes out of it.

And then he asked me what other clocks I think we should have.

What do you think about this one, big cat?

Wait, but wait, wait, before I want to hear the next clock, but I actually disagree on the explode.

I think it should always be resetting until the next football game starts.

So like when we're taping on Sunday night, it should be the countdown to Monday night football.

So we're like, football

there.

That's another clock.

Yeah.

That's fine.

We have have a separate clock for a countdown on Monday.

What do you think about this one, though?

Countdown clock till Hank turns 40.

Love it.

Let's do it.

Yeah.

You want to put it up there?

Yeah.

Yeah, we should just have the whole wall be countdown clocks.

Yeah.

I love that.

Yeah.

Yeah, we got a countdown to the World Cup.

That's crazy.

I was going to say.

What's crazy that you're going to be 40?

Yeah.

Oh, watch this.

We will not still be doing this podcast.

Yeah, we will.

Just make Hank think about it all day, every day when he's at work.

What the fuck are you going to do?

You're going to be doing this podcast.

Yeah, you are.

That would be crazy.

Yeah, you are.

Hake's going to be 60 years old lashing out of people because he screwed up the Mount Rushmore of easily digestible foods.

Okay.

I love that.

We should get a couple countdown clocks going.

Zach, get on that.

PFT, what's your firefest?

I mean, my fire fest is that I'm sick, which sucks.

So woke up up in the middle of the night cold sweat chills aches not looking for any sympathy um but i did happen to google

the effects of a brown recluse spider bite this morning uh oh and i'll just put it at that

are those all the are those all the effects chills killed you from the grave you have a spot on you like do you have a Sometimes I read that it can take hours, sometimes days for the symptom to show up.

So this could have, it could have happened a couple days ago after I talked all that shit.

I don't think that's what it is, but

I did notice that I got a spider bite on my arm.

So I don't think it's a brown recluse.

It doesn't look like a brown recluse bite, but sometimes they change.

Wouldn't the bite have a bunch of marks on it and stuff?

I guess when it first pops up, it just looks like a normal spider bite.

What does the circle look like?

That's it.

Yeah.

I would show it to you.

It's right up here on the bicep.

I also think that I would have noticed the brown recluse on my arm.

It's not a small spider.

I think there's only one, you said, and you killed it.

It could be when you were sleeping.

It could have been that one.

But he killed it.

Yeah, I killed it, but that one.

There was no other ones.

That one might have gotten me before I got it.

Got it.

You know, kind of like both two worthy competitors going out on their swords.

Even though you killed it a week ago?

I killed on Friday.

Okay, so that was almost a week ago?

Almost a week ago.

yeah, I put it at like 25% chance it's a brown recluse spider bite.

That's making me feel and you have more brown recluse spiders in your house.

No, I don't.

There's just the one.

I haven't seen any other ones.

But it is like, I'm glad that I'm going through this right now as opposed to next week on Grit Week because that would suck.

It's like my body knows, hey, you got to get in shape for next week.

Pain is just weakness leaving the body.

So I'm going to be at maximum strength next week.

Iron sharpens iron.

So if it is a brown recluse spider bite, it's like at the end of the day, we're just two competitors going out there on the field of battle.

And I think I got the final victory against it, but he might have ding me up on the way out.

Yeah.

But that's okay.

That's okay.

Definitely wasn't one of his other

brothers getting revenge for you killing its friend.

Definitely wasn't that.

No, spiders are dumb.

They don't know revenge.

They don't understand vengeance.

But yeah, that's pretty much it.

Pretty clean week besides that.

Overall, nothing really to complain about.

Very excited about Grit Week next week.

Yes.

Very excited.

Very excited for Grit Week.

All right, my Fire Fest is

we've talked about this.

I mean, PFT, we're 40.

I'm getting close to a moment where I have to make a decision of whether I should retire or not

from sports and

fun activities with the boys.

My body's broken.

We played softball at 10 p.m.

last night.

I have like four injuries.

I puked after the game because it was so hot and I was so uncomfortable that I pulled trigger after the game and I had been running so much that

I don't know what to do.

I'm either going to do yoga or testosterone.

Those are my two options.

So I don't know if people want to weigh in and tell me which one I should do, but something has to fix because I can barely walk right now and I played softball.

I think you need to look at what other very successful 40-year-old athletes do, like LeBron James.

And I don't think he'd do either one of those two things.

So I need to go to Miami for a couple of weeks, go to Miaco.

For a while.

Yeah, go.

And maybe, yeah, just like take an extended break to regain weight that you lost in a mysterious illness.

By the way, did you see what Jeff Teague put up on Instagram to apologize?

Yeah.

He was just joking.

He went create mode.

Yeah.

That's like pro-level notes app that he used to apologize.

But yeah, once you turn 40 and you start exercising at all, you just collect injuries.

You wake up in the morning and your foot hurts and you're like, well, I guess my foot's going to hurt for the rest of my life.

Yoga, you got to come.

I don't think you're doing yoga.

No, I think it's Tessas.

Yeah.

My problem is in my head, I can still do everything.

Like, I can still, in my head, and I enjoy it.

That's the real issue, is I enjoy going out with the boys, playing softball.

What?

What was that?

Continue, finish, no finish.

I enjoy going out with the boys, playing softball.

Yeah.

What was that?

No, I'm saying there's other activities.

You can go out with the boys and participate in competitive sports-like

things.

That aren't going to hurt you as much.

I don't want to play golf, okay?

I like to play softball.

It's fun, it's fun with the boys.

It is.

I'll play golf too, but I don't.

Can we keep it to real sports?

Yeah, fine.

Okay.

Like playing pickup hoops here?

I don't know.

I don't want to give it up.

I don't want to give it up.

I've got a possible solution for you.

Yeah.

What about tennis?

No.

We get into tennis.

And then we start becoming tennis boys, and then the pod numbies go way up the roof.

No.

Pickleball?

I would never play pickleball.

I don't know.

I don't have a solution besides golf.

Testosterone.

Testosterone.

Golf and testosterone are my two solutions, but I just, it sucks because I did.

We had fun, Max.

Hank's not on the team, by the way, anymore, PFT, so don't worry.

It's just me and Max memes, so he's he's out.

Yeah, I retired, too.

Yeah.

We had fun, even though it was a million degrees last night.

Sorry, I want to play if I'm not playing regular season and not being able to play the playoffs.

What's the point?

i don't know going out with the boys having fun going out with the boys having fun exactly that's that's the fun part but yeah i i i literally can't like my my i didn't sleep last night because my leg

i like one leg is hurt and the other leg is i keep getting cramped up it sucks it sucks nothing worse than like was that your first game of the season no second that i played in is our third as a team but yeah I uh it was 90 degrees out that was the problem it had the hot wind so it was really the elements were fucking me up bad Like, I was drenched in sweat, and then I had to pull a trigger.

I was sitting on the bench after the game, and I was like, if I don't puke right now, I might pass out because I'm just like so exhausted.

And I puked, made some room, and because I took a sip of water, and I was like, oh, I need, I need room, and I had to make room.

So, there's a an ultra-competitive 16-inch softball league that plays right next to my house.

And I stopped by yesterday.

I was taking Blake on a walk yesterday.

We walked past the game that's going on, and I had to just sit and marvel as a spectator.

Like, really competitive 16-inch softball is way more exciting to watch than pickleball.

Oh, yeah.

These guys were screaming.

They were placing their line drives within a 10-foot span of where they were aiming.

It was awesome.

These dudes rock.

Yeah, I used to play in one on this one is the one we play in now is not really competitive, which I think that's probably the step down.

But just turning, getting to that age where you're like, I want to keep doing the fun things with my friends, but I physically can't is just brutal.

So I think it's testosterone.

I think that's a good answer.

Yeah, dude, like when you go on the testosterone supplemental stuff, you end up looking awesome.

Right.

I don't know if you've seen Alex Jones recently.

Yeah.

That's all man.

That guy's going to live forever.

Yeah.

He looks great.

He took up smoking too recently, which that's fucking cool as shit to take up smoking when you're like 55 years old.

Yeah.

Zach, you got one?

I do.

I do have Fireface this week.

Something that happened a little earlier in the week.

Pretty eye-opening experience for me.

As you guys know, going through the office, sometimes there's like some leftover takeout orders that linger around, and they're like, Hey, would you like some fries?

Maybe you like some chicken strips.

So, I did

take the offer some chicken strips before I left the office.

Means was kind enough to give me a ride home, and then I actually, I, unbeknownst to me, I was like, All right, it's late, we're here in the evening time, let me grab some dinner.

So, I walked into the McDonald's with McDonald's

and

oh no, Zach,

I didn't think about it.

It was so much shame.

Oh, no, Zach.

You brought sand to the beach.

I 100% did.

I didn't want to leave the rest of Tenders and Mimes's car, so I brought them with me to the McDonald's.

It just didn't register that I was walking in there with it.

So you were standing there in McDonald's holding McDonald's, ordering McDonald's.

Yes, like it looks like I'm about to have a complaint with my current order, but I was really just there to order.

It was very eye-opening, and we're going to diet so hard.

That's awesome.

It's like when you go into a gas station, you've already got a 20-ounce soda in your hand, and you like show the guy, you're like, I already got this.

You tell the people at McDonald's, like, hey, I brought this from home.

Yeah.

I'm not stealing it.

Yeah, you always declare it.

You declare it as you walk in.

You're like, just so you know, bringing this, bringing this in.

Yeah.

Oh, no, Zach.

That's a tough one.

So just never again.

Yeah.

I don't know if it's like a routine I built and it's like autopilot I need to go and they're all everything's so close or what, but we're just making insane life changes starting today.

When you did go,

did you get the nuggets?

I went, so yeah, they had a deal on the app, so two fries, 20 nuggets.

So that was an instant cop, and then I, the snack wraps back, so I ripped some snack wraps.

Oh, hell yes.

Snack wraps so back.

Okay, so these burgers?

Yeah, they're singles.

Wait, what?

What is it?

Wait, hold on.

Say the whole order now.

Hold on.

Say the whole order now.

I knew what the order was.

I knew what the order was.

Say the whole order.

That was in private, Max, and you just brought it up.

That's all me.

That's all me.

People People want to know.

The people would have known the order.

The people would have known the order.

Okay, it was just two fries and 20 nuggets because of the deal.

I had a couple snack wraps, and then I went cheeseburgers, but single cheeseburgers.

And

those were like a roadie situation

on the weighted off.

20 nuggets, two fries, and extra tenders.

Yes.

He didn't eat the tenders.

He didn't eat the tenders.

I did eat them, but they were on the way.

It doesn't count.

That was like an in all.

Those don't count.

Those don't count.

How many snack wraps?

Only two.

Okay.

And just two cheeseburgers.

Yes, but single patty.

I'd like to press.

Were these the national tenders we got last week?

Was that that?

Yeah, yeah, no, the big ones.

Yeah.

No, no.

No,

it was McDonald's.

Yeah, yeah.

Christmas McChicken.

Yeah.

No, so you just went, you just did your regular order.

You're just like, instead of a double cheeseburger, I'm going to add a snapper.

No, single and go snack wraps.

Yeah.

Yes.

And also single cheeseburged chicken.

Burgers.

Right.

Yes, two of them, but they're singles, though.

Right.

So, like, like, half of what the usual, what I would consider a dinner.

Oh, that's brutal.

No dessert?

No, there was so much shame walking out of McDonald's.

I couldn't even think of eating ever again.

Have you guys ever walked into a fast food place with a fast food item from a different fast food restaurant?

No.

No.

I did that a couple of times, but it was because I liked Whataburger burgers when I was in Texas, but I would, their fries sucked.

So I would get fries from McDonald's and then bring the fries from McDonald's into Whataburger.

I would do I do that with Uber Eats.

Like there's one place I like, I like crab rangoons from this one place and I like the like Thai food from another place and I'll double order.

I'll get one.

I'll get both because I'm like, I want I basically make my perfect meal through multiple Uber Eats.

The only problem with that, similar to what Zach's talking about, is when they both show up at the same time.

That's always a little awkward where you're like, oh, we're just like doing an Uber Eats gangbang here.

Yeah.

And you got to kind of explain yourself.

So, yeah.

But Zach.

Zach, that rocks.

Yeah, that's awesome.

That's a dude's rock.

It happens.

Zach also only eats one meal a day.

That's true.

So it's fine.

I've offered him food in the middle of the day and he turns it down.

Yeah, no,

he's allowed to eat whatever he wants for dinner because he only eats one meal a day.

Don't want to get sluggish.

That's how the

eating thing works.

It's a real diet.

It's called Omad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Memes, would you like to say anything about Justin Fields, which we talked about at the beginning of the show, but how are you feeling?

This is actually, we're taping this part

early in the day, so this is instant reaction.

We don't really know as we're sitting here, so we're getting instant memes reaction.

Are you okay?

I'm not okay.

I'm down bad right now.

There's no update.

The update was that he was standing behind a tree and then got carted off, so nobody knows what actually

is happening.

If it's serious, will you let me give you a spin zone or are you not ready for it now?

Let's hear it.

It doesn't sound like you're ready for it.

His phone is just playing a loop of the meme of the guy drinking bleach and killing himself.

It's just a constant loop that's playing in front of him.

I mean, all right, I don't think you're, I don't think he's mentally.

Do you think he's mentally ready for it?

No.

No.

Because

he already got mad at me if I tried it out and he yelled at me.

It's a bad take.

It's not a bad take.

Here, you know what?

I'll tell it to you, PFT, not to memes.

Take your headphones off memes um not hurt it it's

it's not that big of a deal because justin fields isn't good and this might actually be a good thing in the long run

that's not a bad spin zone like but but but the only thing the best part about justin fields is when he's on your team you can get excited because you're like what if he's good this year right of course so you're missing you're missing out on the on the entire month of of august asking yourself what if he's just awesome what if they get a quarterback that's better than justin Fields for this season, or

they get a great draft pick, and there's a lot of quarterbacks coming up?

Like,

again, this is not to memes.

I'm actually, this is actually how I feel, so I'm like doing it in peace.

What, memes?

It's a good take.

It's a bad take.

It's a good take.

Justin Fields was never going to win you, like, was never going to get you to the playoffs.

Justin Fields was never going to win you a lot of games.

Justin Fields was going to be exciting a little bit and then

not do much, and you would be stuck in the kind of mediocrity.

Like, if Patrick Mahomes

gets carted off in preseason, like Chiefs fans being like, I want to drink bleach, that makes sense.

That's your season.

You had a real chance.

There was no.

Justin Fields isn't that good.

Yeah.

I'm doing this as well.

I'm trying to be nice about it.

You're trying to be nice.

Those bear teams were terrible.

I understand how an offensive line didn't have receivers.

What about the bears average?

What about the 27 points allowed on defense?

What about the Steve?

He was terrible.

He never had a chance.

He started off 4-2 as a starter.

And was that because of him or the defense?

You manage the game, you win the game.

You're a quarterback.

All right.

But

what's the ceiling for him on the Jets?

Our offensive line is good.

Our running back's good.

We have Darren Austin.

Okay.

I don't want him to get hurt.

I'm not hurting for him to get hurt.

I want him to be healthy.

I want him to be healthy.

I just want that clear.

I'm just saying if he is hurt,

this would have been Justin Field's best chance to be good.

Let me just keep on saying some coaching real quick, big cat.

It's too soon for memes.

Yeah, no, that's what I said.

That's why I was saying it's you.

That's what I was saying to you, not to memes.

And I actually am like, I'm not trying to be like a dick here.

I'm actually trying to be like, hey, this could end up working out long term.

But yeah, we could talk about it later.

Yeah, I mean, it's like right when your buddy breaks up with somebody.

Yeah.

The first thing you don't say is like, this is going to be so good for you in the long term.

No, and that's not what I'm saying.

It's not like, it's not like an awesome thing.

I'm not like, oh, you should be rooting for this.

I'm just, it's more like a trying to spin zone.

But yeah, I'm, I'm being sensitive to the situation here's what i would love to see for for your jets memes

joe milton to the new york jets

can i say a name that that is a better quarterback than justin fields who joe milton kirk cousins kirk cousins was so bad at the end of last year kirk cousins is a better quarterback than justin fields memes

in his prime

kirk cousins a better quarterback than justin fields you see that denver game last year i saw it but i'm just telling you like that is a

your season might end up turning.

That's where I'm trying to come from.

Like, that's a guy who you could maybe go a little bit further in the season, have more fun.

Like, think about that.

Now you're, see, that's not bad.

No, Kirk sucks, too.

What about it's too early.

It's too early.

Make a play for Aaron Rodgers.

All right.

See, that was mean.

That was mean what he did.

I wasn't being mean, memes.

You agree?

That was mean.

That was mean.

That was way more mean than me trying to help pick you up and being like, hey, this could work out in the long run.

You're right.

That was mean.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you,

you kind of saved me.

What's the thinking behind Aaron Rodgers?

Just to make you mad.

Just to be mean.

That was a great good cop, bad cop that shifted

180 degrees.

You saved me.

No, like when you get off the zoom, like, because I could see memes' face.

I could see how he gets, like, he, he, I was on the kill.

I was was top on the kill list for a second there.

But as soon as you get off the zoom and, like, you, you, uh, leave the zoom, I'm going to go up to memes and be like, dude, what a fucking dick that was by PFT.

And he's been like, yeah, and I'd be fine.

And for the record, like, I'm only saying that to memes because I'm behind the safety of a screen right now.

Yeah, and you helped me.

I'm not going to be able to do that.

I owe you a save my life versus memes.

Get out of.

Get out of saving my save my life against memes card.

Get off of hit list card.

Yes, I owe you one.

Yeah, I do want to see Joe Milton play, though.

Me and Max were talking before we started recording.

Me and Max love Joe Milton, and we want to see him play football, and it sucks that he's on the Cowboys because we can't really root for him.

So, any quarterback that gets hurt, I think I'm just going to be like, Joe Milton, get Joe Milton.

And he's not.

You throw the ball map.

Broadway Joe.

He's not good.

He is not.

He is good.

He's so fun.

He's not good.

He's not good at quarterback.

What are we doing right now?

I've already been looking at his training camp highlights.

He's not good at quarterbacking.

What are we doing?

True in orange 106 yards, dude.

That part is hard to go.

I don't really have a response to that.

Okay.

You know that.

It's awesome.

It's awesome.

No, I don't have a response when you say that.

Joe Milton would be so fun as a starting quarterback in the NFL.

My Joe Milton debates always go, he's not good.

And then it's just a ticking time.

We should actually put up a timer.

Like, someone just says, oh, he threw an orange 100 yards.

I'm like, well, fuck.

Now I'm dead.

106 yards.

It was 106 yards.

All right.

Let's

grit week.

Grit week.

Get excited.

Grit week.

week, Monday, awesome grit week planned.

Get excited.

Big guest.

Big guest.

Big, big guest.

Uh, memes, numbers, you go first.

No one's saying it.

Seven.

Whoa.

I was going to fucking take that.

Seven?

Five.

Justin Fields' number.

I'll take three.

Oh, he changed from one?

I'll take three.

You said three?

I already said three.

I'll take

one, though, Justin Fields I know.

Let's see what he was in the Steelers.

I think he was one.

PFT?

I'll take 92.

13.

I'm rooting for you, memes.

Two.

No, he's not hurt.

I'm rooting.

No, I'm rooting for you in this.

I'm taking two.

Two?

Oh, he was two.

Yeah, wait, was he two?

Yeah.

He was two.

Oh, yeah, he was two.

Again, Again, stitch crazy

thirty-one, thirty-one, thirty-one.

Love you guys.

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