Keith Yandle Talking Hockey, Pablo Torre On Jordon Hudson And Bill Belichick, Jayson Tatum Tears His Achilles And Celtics Down 3-1, Mavs Win The Lottery + Guys On Chicks

Hey, pardon my take, listeners.

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Hey guys, it's Rhea from Tricks in the Office.

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On today's part in my take, we have an awesome, awesome show for everyone.

We got a lot to talk about.

We are going to start on Zoom talking about Tuesday night's NBA playoff games, and then we're back in studio.

We're going to talk about the Celtics Knicks, Jason Tatum's unfortunate injury, get our thoughts from Hank.

We are going to talk about the lottery, NBA lottery, which we attended, and the Mavs get the first pick.

Hot seat, cool thrown.

Then we have our guy, Yance, Keith Yandel on, to talk some playoff hockey.

Then we have a very great interview with Pablo Torrey.

He did some investigative work on the Jordan-Hudson, Bill Belichick relationship.

Great interview.

Get into that.

And then we finish with Guys on Chicks.

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Today is Wednesday, May 14th, and the Indiana Pacers are in the Eastern Conference Finals.

They dismantle the Cleveland Cavaliers in five.

Pacer basketball, PFT.

That's a good fucking team.

It's fun.

It's fun.

I felt like they were going to come back even when they were down early.

Like, this is a team that does not quit.

And the Cavs, yeah, they were hobbled.

They've got excuses.

That's good for the Cavs.

Like, at least you can point to injuries and stuff, be like, yeah, well, we weren't at full speed.

But the Pacers did look good, and they stuck it in ESPN's face.

Yep.

This is a trend that we're seeing now because remember in the first round, I think it was 10-0.

The ESPN experts picked the Lakers over the Wolves.

I think it was 13-0, ESPN experts picked the Cavs over the Pacers.

Pacers.

And I think it's 13-1 Celtics over the Knicks as well.

So there's a lot.

There's a lot going on right now at ESPN.

And hand up.

I think this whole show had the Cavs.

This whole show had the Celtics, which we're going to get to.

I know a lot of people are probably tuning in for that.

When we get back in studio, we will get to.

Yeah, I saw it.

Miles Turner tweeted out after the game.

All the experts that picked the Cavs.

Miles Turner was incredible this series.

He was incredible tonight.

He hit the dagger shot.

I think he had five blocks.

How Burton was awesome.

Playoff Nemhart is a real thing.

They're just a fun team.

They play with so much pace.

They wear you out.

Rick Carlisle was even like, Rick Carlisle might be the most underrated coach in the NBA.

He was very gracious in defeat and victory, being like, you know, the Cavs had an incredible season.

They just ran into a hot team like us.

We're playing great ball right now, and that's a fact.

Like, they,

I think, so the excuse thing for the Cavs, they obviously had some injuries.

Darius Garland, Mobley, Donovan Mitchell gets banged up a little.

I still think that this is a really like demoralizing, disgusting way to go out for a team that won 64 games this year.

That's the second most wins in Cleveland Cavaliers franchise to go out in five games, and especially the way game four happened.

I think you got to run it back if you're the Cavs, but man,

that's as demoralizing as it gets to go out that way.

Like they, they just didn't, they didn't put up a fight other than Donovan Mitchell having heroic moments.

And yeah, you could turn to game two and be like, hey, if they could inbound the ball, they could have had two wins and the series could still be going on.

But that's what the Pacers, the Pacers make clutch shots, big moments,

run fast.

They just, they have it all.

And I, if you're a Cavs fan, I think this is as dark as it's been for a long time.

And I'll say this, PFT.

LeBron,

he's going to opt out.

He's going to opt out.

Could he end his career in Cleveland?

Could he fix everything?

I don't think he's opting out.

Well, no,

he might opt out to take less money, but that would be fun if he did the opt out and we had like a day or two of being like Cavs.

It would be fun.

It would be fun.

It is demoralizing.

You're right, because last year felt like the year where they learned how to lose.

Right.

Right?

Like last year, they were too young.

And they were injured last year.

On the rise, they were injured last year, but that felt like for most Cavs fans, it's like, okay, let's focus on next season.

That's when we can put it all together.

They had a great season, so the expectations were super, super high for them.

And yeah, this is this is going to be one that takes a while to get over.

But you do, it is nice to have that built-in excuse to be like, yeah, we were injured.

Yeah, it helps you get through the dark days.

Yeah, and

they did win 64 games.

Not, that's not

an easy task, and uh, but you just can't go out in the if you win 64 games

you got you gotta you gotta get to at least the the conference finals I feel like and you gotta and you can't go out this way unless it's like someone is out for the entire playoffs but like I yeah that's it's tough for the Cats Pacers are fucking good the Pacers are good and it's crazy because now who knows how the Celtics Knicks will finish but obviously the Celtics are on the ropes the Knicks could be hosting an Eastern conference final and we have remember last year,

all the ESPN stuff where they just didn't mention the Pacers in that series against the Knicks.

Oh, yeah, Stephen A.

Smith doing the long walk-in.

So I like it.

The Hicks versus the Knicks.

And it's like the Pacers get they have that chip on their shoulder.

And

the only complaint I have about the Pacers in this run, because they are so much fun to watch, is they got to figure out the jerseys.

That's it.

That's the only thing I'll throw out there.

And I keep saying it.

They look like the heat at home but other than that halberton has risen a different like an extra level all the other guys are playing big-time moments and and making big time shots they pass the ball so well it feels like everyone's always getting good looks and i'm happy for miles turner because going into the series you're like oh jared allen versus miles turner or evan movie mobley versus miles turner he's still good and he's they he feels like he's been in the league forever how long has he been in the league i'm not sure but i i i don't i saw the look on hank's face.

I don't want to bury the Celtics just yet.

Hank got a little bit upset with the presumptive Knicks discussion, but he's been in the league for 10 years.

You got to think about it, Hank.

That's our job.

We got to look ahead sometimes.

And right now it's three to one.

So

my only thing is, and we did find out last night that we have, there's some people in the NBA front office that do listen to part of my take.

So I'll make this case one more time, one last time.

Free John Halliburton.

Yes.

Free Halliburton's dad.

Yes.

His time.

He sat out.

He missed the home games.

This is Indiana basketball.

This is a state that has Hoosiers.

Did they shun Dennis Hopper and Hoosiers?

They got to bring him back.

They got to bring him back for the Knicks.

They ended up embracing him.

They made him an assistant coach.

He totally redeemed himself.

This is, you got to let the guy's dad be there at the games.

Yeah.

Hank.

I know we're going to talk about the Celtics Knicks, and we taped that portion earlier in the day, and we talked about Jerry O'Connell.

Jerry O'Connell has

already gone on to the Pacers.

Yeah, he's moved on.

He's moved.

Mr.

Bing Bong has moved on to the Pacers.

Are you going to be using this as fuel for the Celtics?

Yeah, I mean, it's the playoffs.

You should never look ahead like that.

It's still game by game.

Anyone can come back, and he's going to learn that the hard way.

That's what Hank's always said.

Mr.

Game by Game.

Mr.

Game by Game.

Don't look ahead.

Do not look ahead.

Pacers are good.

Do the Pacers scare you a little, Hank?

Pacers are good.

They're a good team.

They scare you.

They're a good team.

It would be a tough matchup if if we got there i'd i would be honored with the opportunity yeah but we got to beat new york first that's you got to beat new york uh jerry's jerry's little man bun that he's got going right now is elite too i didn't know he was capable of that i didn't know he had that that shot in his bag but yeah he pulls it off i mean the hat that i gave him was like a really nice hat in good condition and he's just like i don't know he's like bite chewing it

doing some fleming he's fleming that

um but yeah i'm happy for the pacers i'm happy for pacers fans It will be fun to watch whoever it is they play in the next round.

There you go, Hank.

How much they shun them and pretend that the Pacers aren't involved in the series.

We will, on this podcast, be repping the Pacers and saying the Pacers deserve more credit

throughout the entire series.

If ESPN, if they have Stephen A.

Smith doing speeches and tunnel walks, we'll do a tunnel walk.

We'll do a speech.

We'll represent for the smaller markets.

We might get a little McAfee Stephen a smith head-to-head oh that would be

some bad blood that will be good that will be good i don't i don't have stephen a smith's phone number we know pat mcafee so the choice is easy

we'll have our sword take our sword in this battle um all right and then we had an awesome game in the second game the thunder and nuggets uh it felt like the nuggets were going to win that game and then they just could not make a shot in the fourth quarter it was crazy like Like, they just kept.

I mean, we had the Russ airball.

They just couldn't find offense.

And the Thunder,

that felt like one of those,

you know, how on Friday night they lose that OT game, and it was like, ooh, the Nuggets just know how to win these games.

Feels like the Thunder are starting to get up to speed where it's like these crunch time, big time moments.

Game fives are always important, especially when it's 2-2.

And the Thunder kind of grew up a little bit tonight.

I was going back and forth because it felt like it was a Jamal Murray game where Jamal Murray was giving you enough as the number two option, where the Nuggets usually win those sorts of games.

But then the fourth quarter, he just kind of disappeared and he quit making his shots.

It basically became like, okay, pick and roll at the top of the key and then Jokic do something magical.

And he is capable of doing magic shit.

Like

there's sometimes when, even when he gets tired, he's he plays like a dad just dominating in pool basketball.

Right.

His dudes hanging off him, spinning around, using the glass.

and it felt like that was going to be that was going to be the story of this game, but he didn't have enough help.

Yeah, it was basically like which help showed up because SGA had his 30, 31.

Jokic

was just bounced back from his slew of a sub-par games with 44.

And it just happens that

the Thunder were able to make the big shots from the other guys.

Like even Lou Dort, who couldn't hit a three to start the series or these playoffs,

you know, hit some big shots.

Caruso was everywhere as always.

And so, yeah, it felt like the rest of the Thunder stepped up in a way that the Nuggets weren't able to find someone because it was just Jamal Murray and Nicole Jokic scoring.

Like, they didn't have, they didn't get much from anyone else.

And you could see it at the end when they just had no options and no one could hit a shot for them.

And they were just putting like basically the entire defense on Jokic and being like, anyone else hit a shot and we can live with it.

And they couldn't hit a shot.

Yeah, Dort went back to back to back with three-pointers.

I love what he does.

And then the hustle play run out of bounds.

I love watching that guy play.

And he has been bad.

Like, he's had moments where

he's played himself off the court.

Like, they have not been able to use him because his shooting has like the way that the Thunderer set up, like, Lou Dort plays defense and he's going to get some open looks.

He's got to hit those open looks.

I think he was shooting like 29%

before tonight.

And then tonight he started hitting those big big threes, and that's a big difference for their offense.

I want to see more of the series.

I hope it goes seven because

this has been a really fun one to watch.

And the others, it's like, you know, kind of fast forwarding, looking forward to getting to the next round.

This one, I love this matchup.

I wish that they could play 20 more times.

Yeah, I need a game seven.

I need a game seven.

What's that look, Hank?

Hank's mad.

You mad about something?

Yeah, I disagree.

I mean, we've been talking about the Celtics Knicks Series more than any other one.

I don't understand fast forwarding.

Well, that's because

you're a a big Celtics fan.

We were talking about, but we want this series to go 70s, is what he's saying.

Yeah,

but we're just fast-forwarding through these other series.

Could care less.

Yeah, the Celtics were dominating.

I just, I didn't think that was appropriate.

Okay.

Okay.

Maybe we need an appropriate meter.

No, you asked what my face was.

I can't.

I just was reacting.

You can't hide your face.

No.

Do you think you should start doing the show in a ski mask?

No, I don't.

I feel how I feel.

DFT knows what he's doing.

It's not nice.

It's not nice.

It's not nice.

I'm sorry for being not.

DFT, it's not nice.

Please.

Sorry that I'm not being nicer.

Please be nicer.

I'm going to be nicer to Hank specifically in the future.

That's nice.

You know what else is nice?

I have something nice.

It's nice that we don't have to do all the inside the NBA tributes.

Yeah.

Like, I feel like that was the big conversation last year.

It's like, oh, no, we're going to be losing these guys in a year.

And now it's like, okay, well, they're coming back next year.

Yeah.

So that's cool.

We don't have to, we don't have to deal with that loss to Michael Jordan.

Yeah, Michael Jordan Jordan's going to be, dude.

If

so, there was a news, I think it was what, Tuesday morning?

Or no, sorry, Monday morning.

I can't, I can't get my days straight.

That MJ is doing, and he's doing Peacock, right?

Yeah.

He's going to be on the Peacock.

He's going to be an occasional contributor.

So not all the time, but he's going to parachute in.

If

MJ has to give picks.

He has to give picks.

But no,

you know he won't.

They won't let him, but he has to.

I think he might.

I think he might.

I would love to slid in there.

I would love if he not only gave picks, but he also like, he's like, all right, we're going to go to MJ's picks tonight.

And he's like, all right,

I got the Knicks.

I got the Nuggets.

And here's what you're going to want to do if you have 14 and the dealer showing eight.

Like he gives tips on Blackjack, too.

NASCAR.

I want MJ just unloading the clip.

I think, I mean, if we're being honest, why do you think MJ is doing this?

I think he probably had the Chiefs in the Super Bowl, right?

He might.

Damn it, I got to get a job.

I think he also, like,

this is a part.

Legacy is obviously important.

And, like, being on TV is important.

He hasn't, he doesn't do, he doesn't do media like at all.

So I think being in the conversation.

Like, you see Gretzky out there, obviously, like, Charles Barkley had an incredible NBA career.

He is well known far past his, like compared to like some of the guys he played with, he's well known so much farther past that because of what he's done with inside the NBA.

So I actually think that's probably the biggest reason why Jordan's doing this is because he wants to come back and dominate Chuck.

He's sick of Chuck.

And he got mad at Chuck a couple of years ago when Barkley was saying that MJ stunk as a GM, which is true.

I mean, just objectively.

It is.

As an analyst.

And then I think Jordan got real mad about that.

And he sees these guys guys that used to dominate in basketball on TV.

And he's like, fuck that.

I'm going to come on TV and just make their life hell again.

I just, I need like, I need all of the picks.

And I need like, you know, instead of, instead of a race to the, to the screen, like, maybe they have like

wiener dogs racing in between commercials.

Roulette table.

Just have you have a router.

What if his table is just a roulette table?

I need all of it.

Just like, it's just MJ's gambling hour.

That would be incredible incredible TV.

I kind of look at MJ on TV like I felt about Brady coming to TV.

Like, it's almost beneath him.

That's what I'm saying.

To have Michael Jordan on TV talking to us.

It's like,

we don't deserve to hear from Michael Jordan.

It's weird having that.

He's like the richest guy a lot.

Like, he's still rich.

It's, you know, Jeter doing the Fox.

It's Brady doing it.

There's like a bubble to like the aura that then when you see them on TV and like, you know, he'll say something wrong or say something stupid and that'll become a viral clip and you're like, ooh, what's this?

You know?

I think

I hope he gets on Twitter.

He'll never do it.

He'll never do that.

Like Michael Jordan doesn't, he doesn't.

I hope he gets into meme coins.

Oh, for sure.

For sure.

He and Reggie Miller might actually get into a fight on the air.

Oh,

I mean, it would be great, too, because he can just, like, he has the ultimate Trump card on every, like, I hope he just shows up in his rings sometimes.

Just to make sure you, yeah.

Like, they should let him smoke a cigar inside the studio.

Yeah.

Do it.

Do whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have the host.

Who's hosting that show?

Do we know?

I'm not sure.

Maybe Tarico.

Okay.

Torico, Tarico's dressed up like a blackjack dealer and like they're just playing hands during the show.

Yeah.

Just keep him engaged.

I'm in.

I'm in.

I'm interested to see what happens, but it's like with Brady, it's like with Gretzky kind of, it's shocking to see the greatest of all time in any sport like talking to you and commentating on the games.

Yeah, but the one thing with MJ is like, I feel like

he will have the opportunity to be like a great storyteller that we don't, you know, we don't, we don't hear often.

Because again,

he has not done media for so long outside of the last dance.

Like he has that ability.

Like he could tell stories that you're like, I've, you know what I mean?

I've never heard this story or I've never heard this angle of this story.

Whereas some of the guys who are like very accessible, you kind of have heard them all and you've gone through them all.

So he does have that like wow factor.

Yeah, I mean, it's a great move by NBC.

Yeah.

Great move.

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Can I do one quick baseball thing?

Yep.

Shout out Javi Baez because

I'll say this right now.

I think the Detroit Tigers are going to win the AL.

I don't know if they can win the World Series.

There's some good teams in the NL.

Javi Baez has, he basically was a joke for the Tigers the last few years.

There would always be these mashups of him striking out all the time.

In the last

34 games, he's hitting 319, five home runs, 27 RBIs.

Tonight he hit two home runs, including a walk-off three-run homer.

I'm happy for my guy, Javi.

It's like a complete, he was, you know, if you ask any Tiger fan, they did not like Javi Baez, and he's, hopefully, this sustains, but in the last month, it's like he's recaptured something and

come back to the world as what the electrifying Javi Baez was.

Yeah, he's very fun to watch when he's playing well.

When he's not playing well, it's very sad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I just, you know,

it's cool to see Javi doing well.

Yep.

Yeah.

What do you say?

No, I was saying Justin Turner had a walk-off hit tonight, which was nice because

we needed him to do something.

Cubs are our guy Kyle Stowers,

who we did an interview with a couple of the Marlins will release next week.

He hit his eighth home run of this year.

Dingers only league.

He's on the prospect list.

He is for sure.

Are the Cubs the kind of team that would that would give an extension midseason?

they okay so pft

there has been conflicting reports and one of the reports so uh jesse rogers who does a really good job locally in chicago has reported they have not talked about an extension david kaplan who also does a good job who i know i know both these guys are very good guys he said the cubs are

wrapping their head around what an extension would look like, which means they haven't done shit.

What does that mean?

I did mean something.

They own a baseball team.

That's kind of like their only real job

is to wrap their heads around giving contracts.

I think it's Tom Ricketts literally looking in the mirror every morning being like, you can do this, dude.

You have a lot of money.

But then he doesn't do it.

But no, I don't.

I think Kyle Tucker, unfortunately, will become a free agent and the Dodgers have already put dibs on him.

So that's going to suck.

Yeah, that's tough.

Just do an extension mid-season.

Just agree.

Do it now.

Like, I do think there's something to be said when you're negotiating in all of sports.

You can get a little bit of a discount doing an extension in season because that is money in hand.

It's not going to be a big discount, but

you're the only team that can negotiate with him.

You will not have that ability once he's a free agent.

It makes no sense.

It makes no sense.

The guy's fucking 28 years old.

He's everything you want

in

a superstar player.

And he's, all right, people are going to get at me for the superstar thing.

Superstar is a little different in baseball.

He's a very good, he's a very, very good baseball player.

He's everything you want in a very, very good baseball player.

Sign him right now.

I like that.

I know you hate the superstar conversation, but now I'm thinking, how many superstars are there in baseball right now?

I think baseball superstars are just different because they aren't, there's no household names.

Like, I don't do the same thing.

Shohei is.

Yeah, yeah.

But I'm saying I don't do the same

household name thing with the NBA.

Like, there's like 20 superstar players in MLB.

I know this makes no sense.

People will say that I'm just changing the rules.

I get it.

I totally agree.

It makes no sense in my head.

But like, superstar in baseball, I just throw it around a lot more willy-nilly, knowing that half of the guys, no one will have heard of if they don't play in the market you live in.

I think you can say he's our superstar.

Yeah.

But I think with baseball, there's really

fewer.

There's probably like three superstars.

Yeah.

Show, what was that?

Bryce Harper?

World Series champion, Bryce Harper.

Oh, wait, no.

If we're talking about

Bryce Harper.

Shohei, Bryce Harper,

Soto, Aaron Judge.

That feels right.

Kyle Tucker's a star, not a superstar.

I've corrected myself.

That feels good.

Lindor in there.

I don't think we're going to throw Lindor in there.

No, let's not throw Lindor in there.

Let's not.

You already got one men in there.

Let's not throw Lindor in there.

Lindor's Lindor's going to be a shit on the Phillies last year.

Schwarber, maybe.

Oh, Schwarber, by the way, could he be the MVP?

Should we start that conversation?

He's playing well.

Just like, and we, listen, we don't have any bias here, but should we start that conversation?

We can have the conversation.

We can be the one who's great.

Yeah.

Everyone says it.

Yeah.

MLB, like any writers listening right now have a vote.

Start looking at Schwarber.

When you think about like legendary MLB people and people, you know, household names, it's mostly like home run hitters.

Yeah, that's true.

Kyle Schwerber hits home runs.

Okay, should we kick it to ourselves, what everyone's waiting for?

Any hockey?

Well, we're going to talk about it with Janz, but the stars won again.

We do get into an extended hockey talk with Yans, so we are going to talk hockey today.

The stars look great.

And

I found myself during the game being like, good for Dallas fans, which I have to beat out of my system.

I have to beat that out of my system because they got the number one pick.

In both drafts.

Yeah.

Listen, originally, I was thinking, like, I will feel good for Dallas fans until football season starts, whenever anything good happens to them, you know, because I did feel bad about the Luca thing.

But now, after you got the number one pick, I think they lose all the sympathy.

100%.

They're clean and even.

It's over.

Cooper Flag

is going to be a star.

It's clean and done.

You're good.

You actually,

I don't want to say you could make the case that you upgraded, but we don't know what Cooper Flag could be, but he is obviously younger and is in better shape than Luca.

Like, there's a chance you could have upgraded.

There's a chance you could have ended this season after the lottery's all said and done in a better spot than you were

in January.

Yep.

So, yeah, we don't feel bad anymore.

But yeah, good for the stars.

They're awesome.

But yeah, we're going to talk to Jans.

We have Pal Blatore.

Really fun interview with him.

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Okay.

Knicks 121, Celtics 113.

I was wrong.

Yeah, I mean, I thought that this was a 3-1 series to the Celtics.

I was way

wrong.

And the Knicks came to play.

They came to play.

They are a tough team.

Jalen Brunson was awesome.

down the stretch and the whole game.

He ended up with 39.

The Knicks, like

a halftime, you're like, hey, man, this game is probably going to go the way that it's, you know, game three when the Celtics were up.

Jason Tatum was on fire,

but Jalen Brunson in the end, and

the Knicks finally had like the even scoring throughout where they're like Cat chipped in, OG, Mikael Bridges, they all ended up with 20 plus.

And they now have a 3-1 lead.

And I was very impressed with the Knicks resolve.

Also, Jalen Brunson, like basically calling out the team and them answering,

that was a leadership move.

Like, he, you know, people were like, oh, man, he's calling them out after one loss.

They're up 2-1.

No, he called them out and they all stepped up to the plate and so did he.

That's a leader.

And Cat was feeling spicy last night.

Oh, so Zed.

So spicy.

Did you see him after the game?

He has a move that I've never seen that he does.

He goes in for a one-armed hug and then puts his other arm out to the side like he's flying.

Yeah.

When he does it.

Just everything the guy does.

Yeah.

I love watching him.

Now, it was credit to the Knicks.

They battled back.

They seem to be in the same spot that they were down, but they are a second half team.

They've proved that.

You can't kill them.

They never go away.

How much do we put on the Knicks winning this game as opposed to the Celtics losing this game?

I think the Knicks won this game.

Because I think that the Knicks, the way they were playing in the second half, really the entire second half, they were the better team for two quarters.

And they're the most important two quarters.

And it wasn't like the Celtics shot horrifically bad from three.

They weren't great from three, but they were 37.5%.

That's not terrible.

So yeah, I think I was very, very impressed with the Knicks resolve.

This team,

the garden was alive.

And I think that's pretty much the recap of the game, Hank.

Yeah, let's talk caps.

Oh, yeah, he's learning.

You are learning.

So what's up, Hank?

How are we doing?

The real story here is Jason Tatum went down with an injury.

The Knicks were probably going to win this game anyway.

I think at the time the Knicks seemed to be the better team, but I mean, anything could have happened from that point on.

But you can't put the injury, you can't blame the loss entirely on the injury.

Yeah, he got injured with three minutes left.

The Knicks on the injury took a nine-point lead.

The injury was tough because it was a little bit of the Jalen Brown turning the ball over thing that

it's not his fault that Jason Tatum might have torn his Achilles.

We still don't have a report.

I'm sure by the time people are listening, there'll be a report.

What do you want to start with, Hank?

You want to start with that being down 3-1?

You want to start with Tatum?

What do you want to start with?

You want to start with Max?

Max has nothing to do with this.

Well, I think he has something to do with this.

He's a scumbag, but

it was one of the worst nights as a sports fan in a long time.

Same.

We went from, you know, going into the game,

even the first half, we were kind of dominating.

Derek White couldn't miss.

Felt like we were going to blow him out again.

Rode to banner 19.

And then within two hours, everything

is in limbo.

It feels like this version, like the championship team of the Celtics, we might never see play again.

Everything's in limbo.

What are you shaking your head, Max?

I mean, unless Jason Tatum is okay, I think we can confirm you'll never see that team again.

Oh, so he's saying that he was shaking his head because you said might, and he's saying it.

Yeah, it's guaranteed.

Hank earlier today, when he says everything, he means everything.

Like he was questioning the the entire team.

He's like, I don't know if they like Joe Missoula.

I didn't say that.

He didn't say that.

Okay, what'd you say?

I just said every, like, obviously,

it's more the luxury tax.

We knew going into the playoffs, like, they were going to have to move people around with the luxury tax.

There's,

I'm, I think the Celtics organization loves Joe Missoula.

I'm not worried about that.

There's, you know, Celtics fans that are throwing that out there.

I don't agree with that at all.

I don't think the Celtics organization agrees with that at all.

Where I'm at right now is just we have to win this series.

Can you win this series?

Yes, we can win this series.

We have a bunch of champions on this team.

We still have the Eastern Conference Finals MVP.

We have the finals MVP ready to go.

We've been up big in all four games of this series.

So I still think we can win the series and the offseason...

looks bleak, especially depending on what the injury is.

Who knows?

Might just be a severely rolled ankle.

We'll probably know by the time this podcast comes out.

But

I'm just in complete procrastination, push off all the problems until the offseason.

So the longer we can go with this season, that's where my mentals are at.

It's like, just, just fight, win the series, shut these stupid Knicks fans up, and then, you know, I think we could, I think this seems, I still think we could win the championship.

But that's where I'm at is just make it as far along in the season as we can because once the offseason comes, a lot of things are going to change, and that's very sad.

You just got to win one game.

Not just

one game at a time.

Yep.

So,

this is a very important game, and you're going to be there in person for it.

I will be there in person.

I need you to turn the series around.

I'm going to do my best.

Did you, I threw out a spin zone to you earlier this morning.

You did not seem to.

I don't even remember what you said.

Okay,

what I told Hank, and I actually think this is how you should be thinking.

The reporting up until this point was that the Celtics, and just looking at the luxury tax, the the Celtics were going to have to make some changes this offseason, right?

Like, they're going to probably have to trade.

There's been talks about trading Jalen Brown.

There's been talks about, you know, I don't know how much left Drew Holiday has on his contract, but like there's going to be this Celtics, the team that won last year is not going to be the team that starts the season next year.

And it was going to be hard decisions.

If Jason Tatum towards Achilles, those decisions become a little bit easier where it's like, hey, we've lost a year, but this is where the hard reset happens.

Get under the luxury tax.

It's almost like the painfulness of breaking up a potentially championship team is not even going to be there because the championship team is not going to be there because Jason Tatum won't be playing for a year.

Unless we were with a championship.

That's true.

But he puts it.

It almost took the whole, like, how could you trade this guy?

How could you trade this guy out of it?

Because it's like, if this next year is lost, it's going to be a hard reset.

I'm not thinking about next year.

I'm not thinking about the offseason.

We still are in the playoffs.

We're in a playoff series.

We got to fight.

You can't think about the offseason.

We're still in the playoffs.

You can win.

You can beat the Knicks without Jason Taylor.

Yes, we can.

Do you feel a little bit bad about provoking the garden?

No.

You did kind of poke the garden, though.

You did poke the garden.

Do you feel a little bit bad about this entire playoffs just saying

you don't feel bad about that at all?

Nope.

Wait, saying what, though?

Saying that it was a foregone conclusion that they were in the finals?

If anyone else were on the show,

I I want to be fair to Hank, though, because I've heard Hank say like six times

throughout this whole conversation.

He always says, barring injury.

True.

He has said that a lot.

Did he say that on this past episode?

Because I don't believe it.

I don't think so.

I forget when he said that.

I remember he said that at the beginning of the

day.

Regardless, he may still be down 3-1.

Almost too much.

Where I've been like, why do you keep almost wishing injury on yourself?

Let's also make that abundantly clear.

The Celtics lost that game before Jason Tatum.

Yeah, that's we said that.

But, like, barring injury, they still would be down 3-1.

3-1.

Correct.

I'd agree with that.

Thank

we'll never know that.

Okay.

All right.

We did make that abundantly clear, though, Max.

But it is.

I just wanted to make sure.

It's abundant now.

I just wanted to make sure.

It does suck that Jason Tatum got hurt.

He's 27 years old.

It's Achilles' injury.

That's going to be a year out,

maybe.

But it sucks.

It sucks for him.

It sucks for us because Jason Tatum was one of my favorite guys who, like, by all accounts, great teammate, great father,

you know, great player.

It was fun to make, it was, well, it was fun to make fun of him for the trivial things.

Yeah.

Like, you know, like when someone gets hurt who you don't actually hate, you just like to, you know, poke your friends about the trivial things.

It's like, damn, well, I didn't want that to happen to that guy.

We were just kind of joking about the whole aura thing.

Like, that's a, what does aura even mean?

So now I've,

by the way, I was.

If anyone saw Timothy Chalamet without the Timberlands laced up,

do I know Aura or do I know Aura?

Hank, Hank, admit Timothy Chalamay with Kylie Jenner looking so fucking hot.

Bonk me.

Timberlands not laced up

had aura.

Yeah, I would say Stephon Diggs was right next to him, also wearing Timberlands not laced up.

He looked even better.

Okay, so

you agree with that.

Nobody's ever said that Stephon Diggs does not have aura.

Yeah, we take.

If anything, has too much aura.

Yeah, way too much.

Will you take back your comment saying, like, how could you be the one fashion police and aura judge when I was spot on?

Sure.

Okay, thank you.

Whatever.

Do you remember like a couple days ago when we were talking about high tops on this show?

Yeah.

And I told you about the study.

That's if you wear high-top shoes, you're actually more likely to get an ankle injury.

That's what laced up Tims do.

If you tie your Tims up tight, it makes you more likely to have an ankle injury.

Just something to think about.

I hope it's an ankle injury, so I hope you're right about that just something to think about do you think do you want to say anything about our uh gracious friend jerry o'connell who retired yeah he's a flip-flopping pussy

okay because he unretired he did unretired by the internet so he said no backbone out of respect where is he where's he gonna come on

no he's actually not uh did you want him to come on no uh tom brady retired and then unretired yeah he said out of respect for stool presidente hennies and the Celtics, and especially Jason Tatum, Mr.

Bing Bong will be taking a break for the remainder of this series.

Appreciate all you all do.

Bing Bong.

And then he,

an hour or no, four hours later said, after some thought, if the Celtics win game five tomorrow, Mr.

Bing Bong will be back.

Flip-flopper.

Okay.

Also, shout out Jerry, who sent me and PFT some very funny voice messages that all of them said afterwards, not for air, all caps.

We'll just say that Jerry, he's unveiled a new character.

It's a private character that only me and Big Cat get to see.

It's not Mr.

Bing Bong anymore.

It's Dr.

Bing Bong.

Dr.

Bing Bongbong

was making some great points last night in the side chat.

Until like midnight, I was laying in bed and Dr.

Bing Bong had another report.

Hank, I am a little bit worried about you, though, because last night you said you weren't feeling good.

And so I just wanted to make sure that you were feeling okay today, health-wise.

Yeah, I couldn't get off the couch last night.

Yeah, so I was willing to tape an emergency pod.

It felt like a a time when we should have done an emergency pod.

If we ever do it, last night would have been a great time because so much stuff happened.

I had even taken an edible, but I was ready to lock it in and try to focus.

Hank wasn't feeling good, unfortunately.

I would have done it.

Big cat was asleep, yeah.

Well, no, hold on.

I threw out the idea to do an emergency pod right after all of it happened, and I got no response.

And then two hours went by, and then it was like, oh, should we?

It was like, well, the moment kind of is gone.

They wanted it right away.

I was the first one to say emergency pod.

I was down.

You said you were sick.

I was still down.

Okay.

I don't know if you did say you were down.

You say sick or down.

I don't think you ever did say you were down.

I didn't say I was down, but if you had asked me, like, can we do this?

I would have said yes.

I would have answered the bell.

Were you down or were you sick?

Were you down with the sickness?

I was sick to my stomach.

Yeah.

I didn't know what the illness was, but it was just, I just had to, I was just sick.

I've told you.

I'm still sick.

You never said you were down.

I said

to an emergency pod, and then an hour after that, PFT said, for the record, I'd be willing to do one.

And then you still never replied.

But because you said, I'm in bed.

Well, that was

at 11 o'clock.

If you said we're doing it, I would have said yes.

Okay.

Thank you, Hank.

Thanks for having us yes.

Okay.

So I have to confess, me and Big Cat did hit the side chat real quick because neither one of us wanted to jump into the main chat after the Jason Tate.

We want to give you some space because obviously it's a traumatic thing that you're doing.

We're both getting into the main chat.

And we weren't saying anything mean, but what I did say was that you have to admit, it would be very, very funny if the Celtics went on to win the championship without Tatum, and then we could just continue to clown on Tatum in the future.

I'm fine with that.

Well, then I was like, PFT, good point, but there would be a funnier one, and that would be the Celtics getting to game seven and then Tatum miraculously coming back and then losing game seven in the finals.

I would love, I just want to beat New York.

That's really where my mind is.

One game at a time.

Beat New York.

One game at a time.

I do feel like, Hank, my future is tied to your future because I think there's no chance that the Caps win game five if you don't win your Game Five.

So it's one game five.

I think the series are going to go the exact same way.

Hank, do you have anything to say to Max?

Because

Max.

Well, Max, you take the floor.

The debate that has raged across the country in Bi versus Tatum took an interesting turn last night.

Tatum looked phenomenal.

He looked incredible.

I was like ready to, I mean,

he looked really good.

He looked like a superstar last night.

And

from experience, I know that it sucks when your superstar player goes down and it looks like they're out for a year.

But I can help you.

I can like tell you how to maneuver this situation.

Yeah.

I've been there before.

I think that'd be helpful.

That'd be really nice.

Okay.

Can you help him?

I'm asking you, do you want, or would you like to receive my help?

Yes.

Sure.

So

this is how you do it.

You got to just pay the your hands.

Put your headphones back on.

He took off the headphones.

You don't get to say sure.

Your friend is trying to help you.

When you have this situation, you turn lemons into lemonade.

Right.

Yeah, you beat the Knicks.

No, no, no, no, no.

We're done with the Knicks.

Oh, no.

We're done.

We're done with the Knicks.

But again,

if the Celtics do end up winning, whatever.

We're done with the Knicks.

We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

You can use this opportunity to get a good pick.

Right.

That's what I told him.

It's a hard reset.

If you look at the past of the Sixers, when Joelle Embiid gets hurt, since Joelle and Biad and Jason Tatum are looking like similar players in this moment of their careers,

you can take years off

the picks.

What's the eye roll?

Jason Tatum is a champion.

Right, but as a team

of next year, both of their statuses are up.

Well, like, Embiid didn't play this year.

Tatum's not going to play next year.

Maybe.

Maybe, maybe.

I hope that he comes back.

I want that on the record.

I hope that he comes back.

I don't root for any injuries.

No, and he looked so good last night.

And people were so mad that I tweeted that he looked good last night.

He did.

People were so.

He was the best player on the floor.

He was.

Well, let's not.

Jalen Brunson was on the floor.

I think Jalen Brunson was on the floor.

Tatum was the best player on the floor last night.

That's another question.

When do we talk about Jalen Brunson being a superstar?

We were doing that.

I think we've talked about that a lot.

I think that if they go to the finals,

we'll get close.

I mean, he was incredible last night.

Yeah, he was.

He was insane.

But if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you.

I've been in your situation and beat Tatum very similar players.

You know, sometimes you just got to take a year off and

reassess as a franchise.

And hope the lottery ball works out.

And then hope the lottery ball works out.

You could have a top three pick next year.

Think about that.

No, we're.

I'm not thinking about the offseason.

I'm not thinking about next year.

I'm focused on the Knicks.

Focus on the Knicks.

So if you lose on Wednesday night with you on the wood, you'll then be ready to address these things.

Yep.

That's not going to happen, though.

Okay.

I actually do think the Celtics are going to be.

Oh, Celtics are for sure going to win game five.

Yeah.

For sure.

So, Hank, what

I mean, it sucks.

If you lose a guy in the prime of his career for a year, that's, I mean, KD, that happened to him.

Like, that's, he came back.

He was okay.

Kobe came back.

There are some bad studies about Achilles' injuries.

And, like, oh, no.

Have you been reading that?

Don't look at the bad ones.

Just don't look at the bad one.

Tatum's young.

This is like Tatum is young enough that

he'll miss a year, come back, and still be under 30.

Like, you can't say that about a lot of these injuries.

Yeah, yeah.

It is crazy, though, because it just shows how fleeting sports are, where it's like the window is open, but then it could just jam shut and

like in the blink of an eye.

Yeah, I mean, like, there's not the Derek Rose one is similar.

Like, there's not a lot of, I mean, Aaron Rodgers, but that was the beginning of the year and a new team.

Like,

the, you know,

franchise, if there's not a franchise future probability, but it's like the, we went from, you know, things looking towards a championship to, like I said, it's like everything.

If you were worried about the offseason, which I'm not, but when that time comes,

everything's up in the air.

It just changes everything like in a blink of an eye and you're like, what the fuck?

I thought it was going to go this way and it went a completely different way.

Yeah, the good news is, you've got a really good team, you still have a lot of good players.

Guy for guy, you've got some good players, really good players, agreed, right?

I think we're going to beat the Knicks.

I think we're going to beat the Pacers.

Are you mad at anyone?

No,

no one, God, no one.

You're mad at God.

Okay.

Have you spoken to God?

I haven't.

I'm worried we're in a fight.

We released the graphic.

Hank and God

currently currently in a fight.

It's complicated.

Friendship

status update.

Are you ghosting?

It's complicated.

Are you ghosting God?

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you.

I feel like people were pretty respectful online last night because it's like Jason Tatum, again, he's like, we make jokes about the aura, but that's such a trivial thing.

He's a great player, and it sucks to see a great player go down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Were there any scumbags out there?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's fucking New York fans, the biggest scumbags out there.

I saw some Nick fans that had some very classy takes, though.

Yeah.

The first person that I saw with a take on it was Stephen Che, who was all-class, saying, as a Knicks fan, you hate to see an injury like this.

Yeah.

So I think the loudest voices were actually the good ones this time.

So that was nice to see.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, there's no one to really be mad about.

It's a freak injury.

It's a bad injury, non-contact.

He's missed one playoff game in his career.

He's, you know, Mr.

Durability, and to go out like this is tough.

But it's still a team game.

We're still in the series.

Got to win game five, got to win game six, got to win game seven.

Chase says, as a Knicks fan, I hope Jason Tatum isn't really hurt.

He's having an incredible game, and I want to, what does that say?

I want to win this series against a healthy Celtics team.

And then he also went on to say, I think Jason Tatum injured his Achilles here.

Dr.

Bingbo.

Hopefully not torn.

That was a hot take from Steven Chase.

Yeah, I know.

He He did it like an hour after.

Are you mad at Rick Petino?

Yeah, I mean, the Rick Petino,

I might have lashed out there.

Yeah, he's a recurring guest.

Yeah, he's a recurring guest.

But he was a fucking Celtics coach, and he tweeted after the game, like, there's nothing better than being in the garden with Knicks fans and watching the Knicks win.

Disgusted me.

Yeah, well, he's recruiting.

The garden is where he plays a lot of home games, so he's trying to pump up the garden.

Yeah, but yeah, I tweeted, fuck this guy.

I was mad.

I was in a tough, was sick.

That was a sick tweet.

Yeah, that was a sick tweet.

You never want to tell people to fucking.

What would your take be right now if Tatum didn't get injured?

You're down 3-1.

Well, we might not be down 3-1.

Well, okay.

Let's just pretend that this is.

If we had lost that game,

I would just say it's load up the clip, get the Uzis ready, grenades.

Celtics in seven.

We've

kind of dominated the series.

Okay.

All right.

Here we go.

We're still the better team.

We're still the better team.

We're still the better team.

I love it.

I would still like our chances.

I still like our chances.

You've dominated.

I said we've kind of dominated.

Oh, sweetie pie.

But yeah, if Jason Dayton wasn't hurt, I would feel great about this series.

Regardless of what the score was.

You guys have been owning the Knicks.

And it hasn't been close.

Yeah.

The Knicks are.

They're playing.

I was very.

Jalen Browns is a stud.

I thought the Knicks were.

Kale Bridges a stud.

Yeah.

They were both.

You just hit a fucking 10 trillion like eight-footers.

I thought the Knicks were going to be dead.

And yeah, very wrong.

Last question for you.

At any point last night, did you think of Max and be like, I fucking hate his guts?

No, I don't think about Max.

Okay.

I feel like that might be a lie.

I don't know.

I can see that when something like...

Well, yeah, you guys were reveling in injuries.

I didn't say anything.

No, no, no, no, no.

That did not happen.

When something like this happens, I understand that, Hank, you have to go into a hole.

You have to.

You have to retreat into your own hole.

I've done this before.

And just block everything.

Everything's sad.

Everything sucks if you have a superstar that gets hurt.

It's not a good place to be in.

We tried to respect your boundaries last night.

No, you didn't.

You kept adding me back to the group text.

I did, but that's just because we're a team.

I said, did you guys see Salamay at the game?

Max said, Aura, you left the conversation.

That had nothing to do with Tatum at all.

No, it did, because remember, Tatum were.

Oh, I guess the aura part, but I was just commenting about Chalamay.

Yeah.

I didn't want to be in that conversation anymore.

So I left.

And you didn't respect that.

Well, I mean,

we plan stuff on the show and stuff like that.

We need you here.

Like, what if you miss an important text?

Yeah, whatever.

I think the Celtics are going to win this series.

I think they're going to win game five.

I don't know about

game six.

I think Joe Missoula is

going to be a little bit more than a game.

Joe Missoula is locked in right now.

There you go, Hank.

Fired up.

Joe Missoula is going to be watching.

He's going to watch Troy.

He's going to put Troy on non-stop and be like, this is how you respond from an Achilles injury.

Remember when they came back 3-2 against the Sixers?

Yep.

Think about...

Think about, Hank, close your eyes and think about the moment that you're on the wood on Wednesday night and Joe Missoula locks eyes with you and gives you a little nod, being like, it's fucking on.

He's going to come right up to you and be like, we're going to win this whole fucking thing.

Yeah.

And you're going to come.

Come.

You are.

It's everywhere.

For you, Hank.

Yeah.

Not for me.

It's for the city.

Believe in Boston.

Yeah, that's the mentality.

That's mentality.

Memes.

You are a Knicks fan.

Yeah.

Congrats.

This is an incredible podcast.

Are you enjoying yourself?

Oh, yeah.

Do you have anything to say about the game or Hank or anything?

I just love Jalen Bronson, Mikael Bridges,

and OG.

Okay.

And would you, if you could magically heal Jason Tatum, would you do it?

Yes, absolutely.

That's huge.

What do you think about Hank's claim that the the Celtics are dominating the series?

Kind of I said

sure

Still 3-1, but whatever whatever floats your boat doesn't matter

You were so happy Sunday.

That's mean.

That's I just want I just

I just want to beat memes

I just want that happy guy around you are so happy.

I feel like memes hasn't even said anything to you.

I don't care.

But it's the thought of things he could say.

Memes is the idea of memes.

Yes, right.

Because he knows what memes is thinking.

Right.

That's what Hank really is.

That's why I thought maybe he was mad at you, Max, because he knew what you were thinking last night.

I had some thoughts.

Share a couple.

I hate.

It truly, truly does suck that Jason Tatum got hurt.

I'm not kidding when I say that.

It was fun to watch.

It was fun.

It was a fun fun narrative.

But it was really tough that for the past week, I've had a million people say that he's Iron Man and that he's never missed a game.

And then that's why he's so much better than Embiid.

And then literally three days later, done.

Same thing that happens to Embiid.

Injuries happen.

Injuries happen.

Hank?

It's true.

I can't really defend that.

He's not wrong.

Do I get any thoughts and prayers for cashing out of my Knicks Future?

Like, I feel like last night,

that was a bad night for me last night.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

That's really bad.

I didn't leave the group chat, though.

Although, that's kind of the cash out.

I would give you more thoughts and prayers because I already used my one thought, thought, and prayer for the Caps and the Wizards.

You only dated that future for a day.

I think it was two.

If you had been married to that future for a couple months, I would have been like, oh, my God, PFT, I feel so bad.

You had a one-night stand with it.

It was hot and heavy for a couple days.

It was a one-night stand with a great morning after.

And then, yeah, just

had to get out of town.

You were like, watch a magic trick.

Here's how I can automatically lose 10% of my money.

Yeah, but it felt.

It was one of those cash outs where you feel awesome about cashing out of it.

Yeah.

Like, that's a smart choice for the future.

Turns out it wasn't.

So, yeah, last night, I mean, I was a victim too.

So I get it.

Yeah.

And I was a victim too, because, like I said,

harmlessly joking about Jason Tatum's aura was fun.

And it's gone.

Now we can't do it.

The whole debate was fun.

Yeah.

It was a fun debate.

It was a good debate.

And it was early pressure.

Yeah.

Max.

It was you looking into the future and truly understanding the pulse of the NBA.

Ear to the circumstances.

Yeah, people are so.

I tweeted, Tatum looks really good tonight because I was just preparing to have to eat my work.

I mean, I was preparing

for this episode, and then a bunch of Celtics fans saw that tweet and thought that I tweeted it after he got hurt.

And then I was getting...

Check the timestamps.

And then I was getting death.

There was a similar one that I muted that was just like Tatum is on fire or arising it was like maybe 20 minutes before the injury and then and then the other moment was everyone was just like this is your fault you you put his his embedd stink you put your embed stink on tatum no you did do that that's a fair

and i understand yeah and also i understand that like when an injury like that happens fans got to find a place you got to blame someone you got to go somewhere yeah i i saw one thing that was being blamed and i agree with it uh we could do with less of the cameras in the tunnels when guys are on wheelchairs yeah i agree when they're crying i don't i didn't need to see tatum like in like probably not only a painful moment but like a moment where he's realizing his next season might be done right i feel bad for the guy he was he was having a moment where the world was crashing in on him right we don't need to see that like have have a little bit of respect for the guy at that point because there is obviously we i can't relate at all to a professional athlete in terms of injuries but anyone who's been injured in anything knows that it's like the injury happens there's the immediate ow it's pain and then the moment of like, shit, I'm going to be injured for a while now.

That's like, it's devastating.

Yeah, thinking about what the injury means for your future, right?

It's a crisis that you go through.

I didn't want to see that.

I didn't want to see him crying and all that stuff.

I agree.

So we hope Jason Tatum gets, hopefully, we get good news because I do not want to see him injured.

I want to see Jason Tatum come back, maybe more than anybody in this podcast, so that we can make fun of him.

Right.

Oh, if it was just an ankle roll, imagine that, Hank.

I would love that.

Yeah, because you would eat all those jokes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like

when Trevor Lawrence, remember when he had a fire.

Yeah, maybe he's just embarrassed.

Yeah.

Like,

you're fine.

And he's just embarrassed that he was crying.

It's like Ricky Bobby, fake on fire.

It might be in his head.

Right.

That'd be great.

Okay.

Wolves, Warriors.

This series feels over.

I don't know how there's no report, though.

That makes no sense to me.

Well,

keep looking.

We'll get one.

He might be fine.

The Wolves-Warriors game.

The Warriors had elite halftime again.

They just do not have enough offense.

They just run out of stuff.

They run out of ideas.

Their ideas work great four and a half, and then they, yeah, they can't rely on mucking it up and getting mid-range and all this stuff.

They can't, four quarters is too much for them to do that.

And Jimmy Butler.

Jimmy Butler, who I think was under the weather going into the game, it was very clear the Wolves were like, all right, defensively, if we just pack the paint and don't let Jimmy Butler score on floaters and drives the basket and make him pass the ball out to the three-point line, they can't beat us.

And that proved out to be true because they couldn't really hit shots from three.

And Anthony Edwards was awesome again, and Julius Randall was awesome again.

These two, like together, I mean, we're a wooing.

We're a wooing.

Yeah, listen,

they're a very, very fun team.

And then with McDaniels just cleaning up the glass, just eating glass all day,

they are going to be very, very tough to beat.

I don't think the Warriors can beat them without Steph, not even a single game.

Yeah,

I wish we had Steph in this series because it would be a lot more fun.

Um, and I mean, the Warriors are keeping these games relatively close.

At the end of the game, again, they almost covered again in a crazy fashion.

Uh, so like it looks like it was a seven-point game, it really wasn't

in the second half because the Wolves just jumped right all over them in the third quarter.

Uh, but yeah, I'm impressed with the Timber Bros.

I think they're a very good team.

I just wish we could see Steph similar to Jason Tatum.

You just don't want to see really good guys get hurt.

I'm impressed with Kaminga, though.

yeah maybe fool's gold what do you mean I don't know he's he's a weird one because he's uh he has really good games and he has bad games but he also has he's one of those guys I think he's in his fourth year where he's been like in and out of the doghouse so it's like how much is it his confidence and

I don't know I can't figure out Kaminga.

He was pretty efficient, though.

Yeah, no, I guess he has trying to get out of the doghouse and then trying to like shoot his way out and be like, I'm going to get my points.

Well,

the doghouse is irrelevant now because he has to play.

You can't afford to have a doghouse.

Right, right.

I'm saying like in the course of his career, he's had a very up and down, like one, one step forward, two steps back kind of feel.

But maybe this is...

Maybe this is where he fully steps forward and is like, oh, yeah, he can be a real option for them.

How many guys did they play last night?

Let's see.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

I think 14.

Nine, ten.

Yeah, yeah, 14 guys.

Yeah.

14 guys saw the court.

Yeah.

They're trying everything.

And the Wolves are down to their eight-man rotation that works.

And yeah, the Wolves are really good.

All right.

PFT, you are down.

Hank, are you still with us?

You're just looking for Tatum updates?

He's locked in with the Caps.

Who locks out with the Caps?

Yeah, they suck.

Their offense is terrible.

It's fair.

These are fair points.

They're down 3-1.

Down 3-1.

We talk about it in a little bit more depth with Yandel, but it's been no fun to watch this series at all.

And it's a compliment to to the Hurricanes.

They just,

they have a way of sucking the soul out of you when you play hockey where you just can't get into the zone.

That's the most frustrating part of watching a team that should be good on offense, not even being able to get the ball or the puck into their zone.

It's hard to watch.

It's very frustrating.

They're getting more chances on our power plays than we are.

Their shorthanded opportunities are better than ours.

So

it's looked pretty bad.

Yesterday was one of the worst days in Washington sports that you could ever draw up.

it was really, really bad.

Dropping to six with the Wizards in the draft, and then the Caps going out there and just doing nothing for two periods.

The Caps just need to score first.

That's my theory.

It's just take advantage of the early game opportunities, put a puck in the net, not a ball, put a puck in the net, and then see how the game goes from there because you can't play from behind against the hurricanes.

Yeah.

We should talk about the lottery.

So,

crazy.

The Mavs win the lottery.

1.8% chance to win the lottery.

It was a coin flip with the Bulls.

So they had the same record.

They coin flip.

The Mavs get 1.8.

The Bulls get 1.7.

Now, I don't think I saw some people being like, that was if Boozelis doesn't hit the buzzer beater against the Lakers, the Bulls get the number one pick.

I'm going to say the Mavs were getting the number one pick no matter what.

Yeah, it's not how it works.

Like, they had a 0.1% better chance of getting the overall number one pick than you did.

Because they won the coin toss.

Their numbers would have been our numbers, maybe?

I don't know if you like swap numbers at that point.

They probably get one extra number.

Right.

So we were.

Yeah, true.

Good point.

That makes me feel better.

Yeah, so it's not like

that determined everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a really good point.

So we got credentialed and we were at the lottery.

We might have...

We might have gotten got.

We're suckers.

We're suckers.

I'm a sucker.

So shout out to the NBA.

Very nice of them.

They let us get credentialed, which we don't get credentialed for anything.

Well, you guys wanted to get credentialed.

That's the only thing I'll say.

You guys are saying you got used, but no, we didn't get used.

You guys wanted to go.

We are suckers because we went, we wanted to go.

We got dressed up.

There's a video coming out.

I had to leave early because it was my son's birthday, but PFT and Max stayed for the actual lottery reveal.

But we got there

dressed like idiots in suits,

credentials, which

like we are.

We are

six-year-olds.

They hand us a fucking picture of ourselves on a laminated card with a lanyard on, and we all are like, holy shit, this is cool.

And I'm just walking around, look at this, credentials, hit the buffet,

did the whole thing, did the behind-the-scenes tour.

They made us feel special going into the room.

So, the way the draft lottery works out is there's two rooms for everything.

One room is where the real shit happens, and that's where they have all the numbers up on the wall.

That's where the guy from Ernst ⁇ Young is supervising everything.

That's where they do the drawing.

And then after they do the drawing,

they take the results in like a briefcase and they bring it out to the main room where they announce it to the world.

So everybody that is supervising the draft lottery as it actually happens in the real secret room, they get their cell phones taken away.

It's like a conclave.

They get locked in there.

They're electing the Pope.

Yeah.

And they don't get their cell phones back until after it's been broadcast to the world.

And then they take the results out.

And that's where you see Hakeem Elajuan.

That's where you see Bub Carrington.

That's where you see Jared McCain representing their teams is when they make that announcement after it's already happened.

And we got the tour behind the scenes, we saw the official lottery ball machine that they have.

Yep.

I wanted to buy it.

I told Max this, but when you looked at that, my first thought was, I would love to smoke out of this thing.

Yeah.

You could turn that into a sick-ass bong.

I want to blaze up out of there.

Yep.

Thanks, Hank.

And being behind the scenes, we talked to them for a little bit.

We started to make some jokes.

I took out $80 in my pocket.

I was like, I got $80 if you rig it for the Wizards.

I took out a lot of money.

And then Pig Cat opened up his wallet, took out some money too.

And they were like, okay, guys,

time for you all to go.

You behaved yourself for a little bit.

Then we hit the buffet, which was underwhelming to say the least.

And we had a very interesting conversation before the actual lottery itself.

I think he was head of PR for the NBA.

Really nice guy.

Really nice guy.

Came out and talked to us and explained to us the history of why the media is now welcome at the draft lottery because he used to see it behind the scenes.

And then he was like, man, we got to get the media out here because if they really saw how this is done, they would know that it was impossible to rig this thing.

Right.

It's unriggable.

And he was laying it on thick.

He was doing a lot of unriggable talk to us.

And we were eating it up.

I still am eating it up.

Shut the fuck up, man.

I'm still eating it up.

I'm still like.

And then

the way this, like, how could, how could you possibly, how could you do that?

How could you rig it?

It's rigged.

I don't think it's rigged.

I believe what that guy said.

Mag guy did eat the most of the buffet.

It was the buffet.

I ate zero of the buffet.

PFD ate the most of the buffet.

But we did.

It was funny because then afterwards, when the Mavs get the first pick, I texted the guys.

I was like, did we,

why were we there again?

And then, like, oh, yeah.

We asked to be there.

I know, but then they had us talking about how unriggable it is, and they gave us food and a lanyard and everything.

I'm sure they get pissed off that everyone says that it's rigged.

I'm sure they're very happy with the outcome outcome of the draft.

Correct, but I'm sure that it does get annoying if they can put in all of this work for it not to be rigged, and then everyone just says this is rigged.

Well, then they should rig it to make it not rigged.

They should rig it so the worst teams get it.

Here's what they're doing.

You're just upset because you didn't get it.

Obviously.

Yeah.

Obviously.

Well, I thought about this last night because it sucked that the Wizards, really what was on the line for me, I had a 14% chance of becoming a Wizards fan last night.

And

the numbers did not hit.

And I was excited about rooting for the Wizards again.

So now it's back to the drawing board for me.

But then I thought, you know, I got enough on my plate.

I don't need to worry about the Wizards.

It's just, as Forrest Gump would say, good.

That's one less thing.

Yeah.

So I'm okay with it.

Back to not caring about the Wiz for me.

Yeah, but

it's crazy.

I'm in one part happy for Mavs fans because they have gone through hell and Mavs fans did not trade Luca.

Yeah.

It got, you know, so Mavs fans, I'm pumped for it.

They actually deserve it.

Nico Harrison, that fuck, does not deserve it unless it's rigged and he worked out a deal with the NBA, which you could tell me that.

You could convince me.

Not rigged.

I'd buy that.

GM of the year.

Yeah, GM of the year.

He just knew how this was all going to play out.

But, Max, you have to admit that there have been some interesting lotteries.

Have there not?

Yeah, no, for sure.

I've seen the Patrick Ewing, the LeBron to Cleveland, the Derrick Rose to Chicago.

Then you go to

the 2011.

LeBron makes the decision.

18 months later, the the Cavs get the number one pick.

The 2012, the Hornets.

Not shopping Luca.

Not shopping Luka.

A clandestine trade.

2012, the Hornets, who are now the Pelicans, get the number one picks.

The pick

a few months after trading Chris Paul, which the NBA technically owned the team when they traded Chris Paul.

Then a new owner comes.

Whoa, they get the Anthony Davis pick.

2014, LeBron goes back to Cleveland.

They get the number one pick.

They get to trade it for Kevin Love.

2019, the Pelicans trade Anthony Davis to the Lakers.

They get Zion.

Mavs, 2025, they trade Luca to the Lakers.

They get Cooper Flag.

It's interesting.

I also feel like there's

plenty of stories where it's like the most boring team.

The Pelicans.

Yeah, but that's...

We do hear

Max.

Here's where you're wrong.

Should they pay you?

Here's where you can pick and choose.

They were very nice.

Yeah, you're very happy with how things turned out for your Sixers.

very happy.

Of course, it was fat-rigged.

But you can pick the buffet whore.

I did not touch the buffet.

Dude, he was inside of that buffet.

We have it on camera.

The only thing I ate in the buffet is when you fed me the yogurt.

Who was the camera?

I just put it on my face.

Who was the cameraman?

That was me.

But

you put the yogurt in my face.

Who's editing the video?

Pug.

Oh, well, you were the cameraman.

Interesting.

Now, to be fair to Max, he might not have touched the buffet, but they only had healthy options at this buffet.

Yeah, the the buffet.

It was,

like I said, subpart was like grilled chicken, quinoa, couscous, a lot of stuff that Max doesn't know how to pronounce, much less eat.

So he did, yeah, it is true.

You didn't touch the health stuff.

But when you look at the teams or the examples where it has been rigged, quote unquote, you do find a lot of superstars coming out of the tops of those drafts.

You might rig it when it matters, and you don't rig it when it doesn't really matter.

I'm saying,

I tend to believe the guy when he says that it's not rigged.

He had a

great way about him, good mannerisms.

They were nice enough to bring us behind the scenes.

But also, that shit's fucking rigged, and I fucking hate it.

And there should be an investigation.

It's every sports conspiracy theory where, like, if you had a gun to my head and you're like, you have to say yes or no, was this rigged?

I would say no.

But is life more fun when you can explain the crazy outcomes of things by saying rigged?

Yeah, absolutely.

More fun.

And just yell rigged out loud.

It's fun.

It was a big night, too, for people that don't really have a firm concept of probability to just throw out numbers out there.

So I had some people telling me that since 2008,

there have been five teams that had a 3% chance or less to win the lottery that have won the lottery.

So that is something that should happen 3% of the time, but it's happening 29% of the time.

That's not really the case because there's a lot of teams that have like 3% or less.

And when you add up all their odds together, it becomes like they actually have, I don't know what it is, 20%, 30% chance.

Right, like the Bulls got the pick that they were supposed to get.

The Hawks got the pick they were supposed to get.

Yeah, and if you have nothing changed with those.

If you have, under the new lottery system, if you have a bunch of teams that are like 3%, 2%, 1%, you add up all those percents together, and it's like, oh, yeah, there's like a 30% chance that one of the teams with bad odds is going to get the top pick.

Right.

Not individually.

Like the, for example, the Mavericks, there was not a high percentage that they would get the first pick, but there was a reasonable percentage that one of the bad teams could move up.

But it was like every, and you know who really made out like a bandit in all this?

We're not talking about them.

San Antonio Spurs.

Yeah, they got the number two.

They're flying under the radar because the Mavericks are taking all the heat from them.

Yeah.

But what you just said is a good point because I do think that the NBA were they were trying to fix a problem and they've made it kind of worse because they were trying to fix the tanking problem by flattening the odds a few years ago, which they did, where it was now instead of whatever whatever it used to be, it's now 14% is the highest you can get odds.

I don't think that works because I still don't understand how a lower market team can get better other than through the draft.

And you have to, like, I get it.

You don't want tanking, but it feels like there's even more teams tanking.

Like, there was like half the Eastern Conference wasn't playing

at the end of the season.

Yeah, if you're the Wizards, how do you get better?

Right.

How do you get better?

If you're the Jazz, how do you get better?

Yeah, I think the Wizards may be a little bit different because they do have, it is technically a big market in DC, but they don't, it's not like a rabid fan base.

Right, but you're the Hornets.

You're like, you're

the Pelicans.

How do you get better?

Yeah, you have to get drafted.

You have to just hit on Steph Curry in the draft.

Right.

If you find a guy that slips a little bit and he develops into being somebody that nobody expected, that's one way to do it.

But that's very, very rare to do.

It's hard to get a free agent.

I just don't know what else the Wizards can do right now.

And if you're a Wizards fan, you're feeling pretty bad about yourself right now because your only solution that you have is, well, it looks like another shitty year where we win 20 games and then we have to rely on a lottery ball that's going to bounce our way to get a player that might end up making a difference for us down the line.

Right.

There's really not a lot, not a lot that you can do.

I had the theory.

Tell me if this is dumb, big cat.

If you're the Wizards' front office, do you pick up that phone and do you call Nico and do you say, just take a flyer?

Nico, we will offer you the number six overall pick for the number one overall pick And see what he says?

Yeah.

The chance isn't zero that he says yes.

Yeah.

There's a small chance.

No, you got to just frame it in a way of like, hey, Nico,

if you pick the one, if you take the one overall pick and he ends up not being good, you could get fired.

You're dead.

If you take the six overall pick, people don't really expect a lot from that player.

You could be good, dude.

And if he's, if he's a solid rotational guy,

then people will be like, damn, Nico knows how to find him.

That's diamond in the rough.

Anyone can pick Cooper Flag.

I could pick Cooper Flag right now.

What is the outcome you guys are rooting for the most?

For me, it's somehow Nico trades the Lakers the number one pick and gets Luca back.

Gets Luca back just in the morning.

Also, I think the funniest one, and I don't want this to happen for Mavs fans, but it would be very funny if he's like, Cooper Flag's bad on defense and takes, you know, Ace Bailey.

Yeah.

It's like, he's just like, yeah, I'm zagging on that.

The problem with that is Cooper Flag is really good on defense.

Yeah, no, I'm saying it's not real.

It's just, I mean, Luca's also really fucking good at basketball.

Nico traded him.

I do think that the Giannis thing is interesting because Giannis did say that he wants to play in a state with no income tax, reportedly.

And

would that, I, I think the Bucs would absolutely do that trade, right?

Yeah.

In a heartbeat.

I I don't know what the fair compensation is, but like if you're the Bucs and you're like, hey, we're not going to win with Giannis, but we can get Cooper Flag and reset everything.

And the Mavs would be an immediate with Giannis.

Yeah.

And Anthony Davis.

And well, Kyrie's out.

Did Kyrie have an Achilles too?

He did, yeah.

Yeah.

It was a little bit older.

I could see Eric Adams lobbying the state of New York to be like, just suspend income tax for a year so we can sign Giannis.

Yeah, for play.

Why doesn't the state do that for players?

Yeah, just all after.

I imagine that would get people very upset.

Not if they won.

That's true.

Then they'd be very happy.

All right, so before we do Hot See Cool to Road, show of hands, rigged or not rigged, who thinks it is rigged?

Rigged.

I do.

Memes, you think it's rigged?

No.

Oh, so the Booth Boys.

All lotteries are fair.

Oh, okay.

That's all sports.

That's big of you, memes.

Okay.

I want to give credit to Max, though.

So when they were announcing the order, at one point, Kevin Nagande said that the Sixers are now, they've fallen out and they will not get a what, top top six pick?

Top six pick.

Top six pick.

And immediately, immediately, the second that he said that, Max goes, that's not true.

That's not true.

I looked back at the footage.

I did not say it immediately.

I'll

hand up.

I did not say it immediately.

It was sooner than anybody else said it.

Because I was looking puzzled because it didn't make sense.

He said the Sixers have fallen out of the top six at like

that was a sad

tatum underwent surgery to repair torn right achilles tendon catastrophic season ending injury for one of nba's young faces in celtics with a long rehab awaiting he did

they do surgery that fast i thought they had to let swelling go to it's with the knee i think with uh with a heel it might be different oh fuck

i mean he could be back for the end of next year

it's like a year right

just worry about the next hank Worry about the Knicks.

So, any statement now?

Folks,

how much of like percentage-wise were you like, this is just fine?

The longer it was going,

that's mean.

I know they did that.

I know.

Because Porzingas went down.

I mean, obviously, it was a little bit different, but he went down in the heat series last year.

Yeah, and he was looking weird like it was an Achilles.

Yeah.

But he was fine.

This is bullshit.

If they already did the surgery, they must have known like this morning.

They knew last night.

Why are they just reporting this now?

Because the injury report goes out at four.

Oh,

yeah.

Within Achilles, you know pretty much immediately.

Yeah, but I feel like it's just mean to.

Well, Stephen Che was the one who really knew it like an hour after.

Well,

he said he thinks.

Thinks.

He's like, I think this isn't.

I'm sorry, Hank.

That sucks.

Yeah, it does.

I'm sorry.

Fucking a man.

Fucking a man.

Don't fuck this guy.

Just gotta beat the Knicks.

You gotta beat the Knicks.

You got this, man.

Thanks.

So congrats, Max.

I'm very happy that you got the number three overall pick.

Yeah.

Wait, so Max yelled out right away.

He's like,

upon Max's re-examining of the video, there was like a gap.

But he was the first person that I heard say it.

And it was pretty quickly after they made the mistake on the broadcast.

And

I kept making fun of Max.

I'm like, no, you didn't.

You loser.

You dropped out.

You loser.

I think he meant to say the Wizards, but somebody in his ear told him that the Sixers dropped, and he repeated it, because then they cut to commercial, and he was like, what the fuck was that?

He was like mad at somebody in production.

He wasn't like mad.

He was just like,

what the hell just happened there?

Because someone was definitely...

Because he did, no, it was not the Wizards because he did say the Sixers will lose their pick.

So there's...

They were the only team that that could have happened to.

So

it had to have been that someone was just wrong about the the reporting of what happened,

which is crazy because they said it after the ninth pick, which didn't make sense because their spot wasn't up yet.

So in my head, I was like, this doesn't make sense unless someone already knew that and told him before they were supposed to tell him.

But then when the seventh pick came out and it wasn't the Thunder, it was like, no, then the Sixers keep their pick because that was the only way that we were going to lose it.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, I'm sorry, PFT.

That's okay.

Good job, Max.

Coin flip didn't go my way.

And

NBA rigged.

Very rigged.

I do not think

I think that the Mavs were going to get it anyway.

Thank you for the very nice people that showed us around yesterday.

Yes, very nice people.

Maybe not rigged, but if it was rigged, this is exactly how they would have rigged it.

Exactly how they'd rig it.

Exactly.

There was probably another team that they could have.

No.

Mavs.

Not really.

Mavs.

Do the math, Max.

Do the math, Bulls.

You don't think that they

like the Bulls?

No, because LeBron.

What?

Because LeBron.

LeBron needed a solid young player.

He needed a superstar on his team.

So the Mavericks send Luca over, and in exchange, the Mavericks, they get the number one overall pick.

The Eastern Conference is going to be a joke.

No, what he's saying is the Bulls, because they want the big market.

I think we'll get one eventually.

But we've been saying that.

How many years in a row have Bulls fans be like, they're going to rig it in our favor?

Well, because

that's the only hope you can have when they can't tank properly.

So we haven't had odds that have been like,

I think that if the Bulls were the worst team, we would just get the first pick, but they just can't.

It's crazy.

And the Mavs, you know, the Mavs fans didn't deserve it.

It's also crazy that the Mavs had won the play-in.

Yeah.

That this wouldn't even be a conversation.

Correct.

Correct.

I hate the play-in.

Also, credit to Pug.

He had a great take.

He hit us.

Oh, that was brutal.

He hit us up last night.

He said, Yeah, but imagine if they kept Luca and got the number one overall pick,

how much cooler that team would have been.

We're like, No, Pug,

they would not have gotten a lottery pick if

they still had Luca.

Yeah, I had to tell him right away.

It's like Luca on the team probably isn't in the lottery.

He's like, oh, shit.

But it would have been cool.

Luca and Cooper Flag would have been sick.

Real sick.

All right.

Should we do hot seat, cool thrown?

Hank, are you still with us?

Physically.

He's down so bad.

You got to get to it.

You're sitting on the wood, dude.

And we're going to talk more hockey with Janz.

We're going to talk about every series in depth.

And then we got Pablo Torre.

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Hank, hot seat cool drunk.

My hot seat is the course.

Oh, yeah.

I had this as well.

PGA Championship is this weekend.

It's at Quail Hollow.

Where's Quail Hollow?

It's in Charlotte.

There has been some

quotes from players who are

coming at the Course pretty hard.

Hunter Mahan Mayhem

said, Quail Hollow is like a Kardashian.

Modern, beautiful, and well-kept, but it lacks a soul or character.

Solish.

That's harsh.

Who's more mad?

Quail Hollow, the Course, or the Kardashians?

They're a dishonor.

This kind of feels like you're provoking the Course, though.

Yeah.

What is the deal with what's the issue with the course?

It's a bomber's paradise.

There's no real penalty for missing fairways.

Like, if you can hit it far, you're going to be fine.

So, Rory, Bryson, Scotty, the Bombers, Scotty, obviously, always.

This course sounds awesome.

Yeah.

That sounds like the perfect course.

A bomber's paradise?

Well, you would say that as a terrorist.

Justin Thomas gave some other insights.

I like hitting bombs.

Who's one?

You didn't get it, Max.

I didn't get it.

It's okay.

He didn't get it.

the the hamas picture of you at the white house yeah yeah a bomber's paradigm that's so that's so long ago so you get that's so long you get 72 virgins after you finish round yeah justin thomas also to to give some more insight said i feel like a place like this where it doesn't necessarily require a lot of thought or strategy off the tee it's generally pulling out driver and just i need to hit this as far as and as straight as possible

so bryson Yeah, so Bryson's the play.

Bryson Rory, yeah.

That's what you would be led to believe.

It's also been raining there, so it's going to be soft conditions.

Do you guys like that the PGA moved?

No.

No.

I don't either.

No, it should be U.S.

Open.

Yeah.

U.S.

Open should be right now.

Or I guess it would be in a couple weeks, but yeah.

And it is in a couple weeks.

It's in June.

I believe so.

Yeah, probably.

I like that it finished with PGA.

I like that ending.

I don't know why they did this.

I agree.

So the course is on the hot seat.

It's going to be getting a lot of scrutiny this weekend.

The Groundskeepers, though, they're like Cam Newton.

Like, okay.

All right.

I see what you're saying.

They're going to fuck with the course a little bit overnight.

They said that about this course in Philly they played this weekend, the Cricket Club.

They said because it was older that, you know, it was designed before everyone could hit bombs, so that because it's so short, there's going to be very low scores, but that didn't happen.

So I used a valet at that club.

Oh, just cool.

Just a little fun fact for everyone at home.

That is a fun fact.

I do like, though, the Quail Hollow, the 16 through 18 is called the Green Mile.

That's kind of cool.

Yep.

Because it's like really tough, I guess.

The end of of the course.

Yeah.

Are you...

Do you have a pick?

No.

Brooks.

Speeth.

Oh, man.

He is so down bad.

He doesn't even like golf anymore.

I would like to see Speeth win.

Brooks, obviously.

What's that?

What's that, memes?

No, game five, Hanky.

Hi, game five.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm not.

Yeah, he's snuffed.

One thing at a time.

But what if game five doesn't go your way?

You're going to have a full weekend of golf.

Yeah.

But that's not going to happen if the Celtics lose hypothetically game five.

How quickly do you check out on the rest of the NBA playoffs?

Immediately, immediately.

The weather's gonna be so nice.

Oh,

yeah, I don't, I could care less who wins, care less.

We're golfing on Thursday.

That's not true.

You're you're gonna be so anti-Knicks.

What happens if the Celtics lose?

Are you gonna golf with me on Thursday still?

We'll see.

I don't know.

Yes, okay.

Okay.

This

now feels mean.

My cool throne is fat diabetes cat.

What?

Big cat,

what was it, last show, the show before, said you're going to do what, a full

reassessment.

Reassessment on your health.

Okay.

And then

you talked about how you eat a box of lucky charms every night.

That was one night.

And then yesterday, you created a task force of multiple employees at this office

to locate and find the best soft serve ice cream machine so that you can buy one and install it in this office.

The cream team.

The cream team.

Yeah.

It's my cream team.

So

I don't know if that was like for us.

Was that part of the reassessment?

Like you did the reassessment.

It was like more soft serve.

I reassessed my life.

There's some things that I can do better.

I've already started to.

Did you know?

comment about the lucky charms Did you not hear about the yellow Cheerios that eat?

I eat those

Okay, and been eating those in in it one night two nights no those I just eat for breakfast now.

It's fucking miserable suck also ice cream has calcium.

Yeah bones.

Yes.

I reassessed my life and I realized that a life without constant access to soft serve ice cream is not a life I want to live anymore.

So Hank, are you anti-ice cream?

No, I just cool throwing is just fat diabetes cat.

Whoa, it sounds like I've already made it very clear, too.

We're only doing toppings on Friday.

We are.

We're only doing toppings on Friday.

It sounds like you're anti-scream.

Do you like the cream team?

Do you think I put a good so it's it's Zach, uh, Jacob, and then I've added Ben Mintz as the special advisor to getting shit for free.

Yeah, no, that's an elite.

That's an elite.

Yeah, you've built a great team to

get us the best soft serve ice cream machine.

You know what?

Money can buy.

Do it.

I don't care.

Really?

Yeah.

You'll never eat it.

Banned.

Fine.

Make the graphic.

Henry Locker.

Banned.

Forever.

Until you apologize and show real remorse, you are not allowed to have a single drop of that thing.

That's good.

Keep me honest.

All right, great.

But I'm saying I'm going to be watching the tapes every night because I know the minute we leave, you're going to go get your ice cream.

Everyone else has to be able to do it.

You're obviously not on the screen.

NFL Sunday, if you lose, if the Patriots lose a game, you're going to want to hit the ice cream machine immediately.

Dude, soft-served ice cream doesn't even have calories.

That's true.

Soft-served by the drinks.

It really does.

It has calories.

Yeah, for sure.

Are we going to have?

Is Bing going to have his own flavor of minced chocolate chip?

No, I think it's just going to be, we're going to keep it simple.

Chocolate vanilla, chocolate vanilla, and

swirl twist.

You got to have the twist.

And then toppings on Fridays.

Cones, there'll be a sleeve of cones.

Just go on a cruise, dude.

What?

They have soft serve machines everywhere on cruises.

I got to work.

I'm trying to make work the best.

Okay.

Hank, you need a vacation.

You're banned.

You're banned.

That's fine.

You're fucking banned.

That's fine.

I don't care.

I hate to have a bad thing.

I don't care about anything.

I also really don't.

I think Hank's just going to plead injury to all this.

Like anything that he says within 24 hours,

it can't be held against him in court.

He's grieving.

Are you guys?

I am.

Are you guys all in?

Well, no, I'm not.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm not.

Be New York.

So you're not grieving.

You're in denial.

That's the focus.

That's the first stage.

I'm focused on game five.

I think that's the first stage of grief.

I'm focused on game five.

We'll deal with the offseason when we get there.

Okay.

All right.

You guys are all in, right?

Yeah, I'll leave ice cream.

All right.

Love it.

Love it.

Max?

I got to put at least some sort of a limit on myself.

Okay, we could do that.

Like a governor?

I got to give myself rules of when I can and cannot have ice cream got it maybe do like invisible defense put a collar on you that's not a bad idea you're not allowed within five feet of the of the ice cream machine unless like certain times because i i want to have some ice cream but if i have it if i have access to it unlimited access i will have multiple ice creams every day yeah so yeah which is with a cat and you you search out like a one of those automatic feeders i should get one of those I should get one.

Yeah.

Also, we should put up a sign, do not feed this man ice cream.

So that you can't ask people to get your ice cream.

Do not feed the max.

Yeah.

Banned.

Sorry for your lossing.

Thanks.

I will hear an appeal.

I will hear Hank's appeal in court, knowing that he is in a very fragile state right now.

But he has to at least appeal to get unbanned.

Yeah, that time will probably come.

Okay.

When you see us just walking around licking a cone, having a time of our life.

The first first day of the ice cream, you not getting a cone on the inaugural ice cream day is going to be,

oh, it's going to hurt.

Opening day

has to have toppings.

I might

probably do opening day on a Friday.

You can also just bring your own sprinkles.

You can bring your own sprinkles.

I'm just saying toppings will be Friday only, so that way we keep a little of the calories down.

Yeah.

The cream team is hard at work.

Okay, PFT.

My hot seat.

Look at his face.

That looks like a guy who's down in the dumps and just got banned from ice cream.

I can eat ice cream just not here.

That's fine.

Dude, there's going to be a soft serve machine.

Literally, we might even put it in this studio.

Great.

I think what's going to happen is Hank's going to sabotage the ice cream machine.

No, I want you guys to be happy.

Okay.

Oh, you don't.

That's not true.

That's not true at all, Hank.

That is not true.

It is.

It's not true.

When have you ever wished happiness?

All the time.

Yeah.

I say it all the time.

Well, then you'd let me get it.

Your teams never do anything, but I root for them to do it.

We were talking about teams.

Why'd you have to go there?

Just happiness.

I want you guys to be happy.

You root for me to be better at you.

I want you guys to not have kidney stones.

Well, calcium, who knows what kidney stones you have?

Calcium could not have anything to do with this.

I said I hadn't changed my diet at all.

I hadn't been eating more sodium, and then Mad Dog was like, Didn't you just eat 15 days of gumbo in New Orleans?

I was like, that's a valid point.

Yeah.

I have changed other parts of my diet.

I'm trying to eat less carbs,

less salt, more ice cream.

I'll shoot a diamond out of my dick once a month if it means I can have ice cream every day.

Absolutely.

That's a fair trade.

I'd trade that in a heartbeat.

I mean, a soft-serve machine.

It's a goal of mine.

It's a dream of mine.

It's the best.

I love soft-serve ice cream.

It's so good.

And it's good for you.

Also, ice cream is just carbs.

No, it's not.

It's liquid, dude.

That's just not

sugar.

You could have it.

Carbs.

Here's a list of carbs: Bread.

French fries.

Rice.

Pasta.

Rice.

Rice.

No, rice I don't even count as a carb.

So small.

White rice.

It's so small.

I think the solution is just put up a sign over the ice cream machine that just says frozen yogurt machine.

Yeah.

Just label it as frozen yogurt.

No fat.

No fat frozen yogurt.

Yep.

And then, but it's just ice cream inside.

Yeah.

All right, PFT, your hot seat cool torn.

My hot seat is jockeys.

Okay.

Jockeys are on the hot seat because the the jockey that won the Kentucky Derby, Junior Alvarado, he just got fined.

He got slapped with a $62,000 fine.

See you later, Hank.

All right, see you, Hank.

Apparently, he hit the horse too many times

with a racing crop during it.

So he hit the horse eight times sovereignty during the race, and the maximum that you're allowed to hit the horse is just six times.

So they fined him $62,000.

Normally, it's just a 10% fine.

And his total purse from the race was $310,000.

So he should have been fined $31,000, but it's his second offense in a calendar year.

So they upped it up.

They doubled the fine to $62,000.

Also, kind of the pussification of America.

We can't even hit horses anymore.

Yeah, that is.

That is.

Okay.

And then my cool throne is Sharks.

Sharks are on the cool throne because Trey Hendrickson, the pass rusher from the Cincinnati Bengals, give a press conference today.

He's unhappy with his contract still.

They promised him that they were going to do a deal, they were going to work on something,

and they just didn't do that.

Apparently, the Bengal did not live up to their end of the bargain when it came to

honoring a verbal commitment to rework something and get them paid.

So he kind of rescinded his no trade or he had a trade request earlier this offseason, and he kind of backed off from that because he thought that they were trying to work things through.

But then apparently they went back on that.

So now he's on the offensive, and he said there's provoked shark attacks and there's unprovoked shark attacks and right now he this is a provoked shark attack that he's doing to the media oh where he's going after the bengals and and complaining about the way that they treat it sounds like he's not going to play for he doesn't want to play the season he doesn't want to play he said that he doesn't want to play the season they asked him at this point do you want to be a cincinnati bengal he said that's a tough question And then he talked about animosity, and he used the analogy of a provoked shark attack.

So that's what he's dealing with right now.

That doesn't feel good

when provoked shark attacks is used.

It feels like that might be the burning of a bridge right there.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I guess my takeaway from this is that the Bengals might be the only team that would say, yeah, well, we don't give a fuck.

We're not trading you.

I dare you to go the whole season without playing.

Right.

And so Hendrickson has himself in a tough position because he does have a contract.

He is under contract right now.

And that's kind of the price that you pay when you sign a three-year deal or a three-year extension and then you overperform it and then you want to get paid.

Now, the Bengals are famous for asking people to take pay cuts if you don't play up to your expectation.

Right.

So, the Bengals are going to have it both ways, but as the NFL goes, the teams have a lot more leverage.

So, I guess Trey's going to try to just sit out and see if they'll trade him.

Yeah, I don't know.

I feel like they won't.

Well, no, they'll trade him if they get a good offer.

They'd rather get the asset than, yeah.

All right, my hot seat is

the NFL because we said this on Sunday.

I'm so sick of this fucking schedule release week.

It sucks.

It fucking sucks.

Give me the whole schedule.

Stop giving me a piece of a game here and there.

We found out the Eagles and the Commanders are playing on, you're not on right now.

The Eagles and Commanders are playing on the 20th, Saturday the 20th of December.

Of December.

Packers, Bears, the Eagles and Bears are playing.

It's just Eagles schedule release week.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Let's just give another Eagles game in the morning and then another game at night.

That's how they're doing it.

Driving me insane.

I fucking hate it.

just give me the whole schedule they've completely ruined something that was kind of fun and now it's just become because now i'm piecing it all together we spent we we were at the nba draft lottery like for 20 minutes trying to piece together what the christmas day games might be and like it's just so stupid so it's looking like yeah the eagles have a game week 10 monday night football against the packers They are just, yes, they're playing opening day against the Cowboys.

It's been a lot.

They did the international schedule as well.

The Commanders are playing against the Dolphins in Spain.

The Vikings are doing

the first ever back-to-back in different countries.

They're going Dublin, then London.

Yeah.

Steelers, and then the Browns back-to-back.

It does suck.

It does suck.

I understand that you want to...

Like, each, the problem is it's each broadcast partner that wants to have their moment in the sun where they get all the attention on one of their games.

But no one asked for this.

We're going to watch the games anyway.

Just give us the whole fucking schedule and stop with the leaks and stop with the Morsels.

Just give us the whole fucking schedule.

And also, fuck you to the people who are like, it doesn't matter.

We already know the opponents.

That's max.

How they go matters a lot.

It does.

It also matters for people who are trying to make trips around this.

It also matters if you're, like, I really enjoy complaining if you're like, the NFL fucked us because we have to play like...

two games in a matter of six days.

Right.

You know, like that, that whole shit.

Like complaining about getting bad rest when it matters the most, when your bye week is.

Yep.

It's fun to complain about that but also you could do all this by just releasing the schedule release the fucking schedule the entire schedule just so and just mainline it to us but yeah we were we were looking at the uh christmas week games and big cat and i were like well fuck that means that if you do the math we're going to be playing each other on christmas and then we started planning the part of my take schedule for that week yeah with the understanding that the Commanders are probably playing the Bears on Christmas.

And then all that might be wrong, too.

Yeah, because we realized that we were planning it like it was last year when it was Wednesday was Christmas.

So the Saturday games had to be the Wednesday games.

This year is Thursday's Christmas, so they can absolutely use the Sunday games for Thursday games.

We also found, because we found out the Eagles and Packers are not playing that Christmas, which means that.

Right.

So it makes

sense.

We were just sitting down.

But that's the NFL's fault and all this shit for making us guess.

Hank's still with us.

Nope.

No, he's not.

Hank has been checked out.

It's okay.

I get it.

This is one circumstance.

I'll give Hank a pass.

Oh, absolutely.

I'll give Hank a pass on this.

Absolutely.

That's bad news that he has has to do.

It's really, really shitty news.

The long injury thing is devastating.

It's not, oh, he's out for two or three weeks.

It's devastating.

It fucking sucks beyond belief.

All right, my cool throne is, you know what?

I'm going to do a reversal.

My cool throne is college grads because they're graduating right now.

And I see all the pictures and everyone's like, oh, it's graduation.

And I'm sure there's some college grads listening right now that are freaking out.

Don't freak out.

I think we've given this speech before.

There's a lot of pressure when you graduate college because you're like, holy shit, I got got to go in the real world.

There's going to be one friend who's making more money than everyone else.

You feel pressure from that.

You're 22 years old.

You got so much time to figure some shit out.

You're probably going to fuck up.

You're probably going to hate your job or you might love your job.

Whatever happens, you've got time to

fail at a job, hate a job, quit a job, love a job, and then reimagine yourself a couple of years later.

You're still 25.

You know, the guys in college that sometimes might not be doing so well and they pretend to their parents that they're doing well when in reality they're failing?

Do you think there's anybody out there that has told their parents that they did not graduate this year when they did graduate so they can just go back to school for one year

and just hang out in town and tell

like do forge report cards and be like, I'm doing a lot better this year, guys.

Getting Bs instead of D's.

Absolutely.

That would be a hell of a move.

That is, though, the one like.

Because it sucks graduating college, that feeling of like, oh, shit, the four years are over.

The one saving grace is when all your friends leave together, like I remember going back to Madison like two years after I graduated, and I didn't know, I knew like a couple people, and I was like, well,

this isn't what college, you know what I mean?

My friends aren't here, so

it doesn't feel the idea of like leaving and having all your friends stay and still doing college, that's not reality.

And you'll be okay, you'll be okay.

Life gets better, not worse.

Yeah,

right, Hank.

Yep.

You know what, Hank?

Unbanned.

Nice.

I feel bad for you.

No, I feel bad for him.

I feel bad for him.

He's going through a lot right now.

He

just privately, in a moment in the next couple of weeks, just be like, hey, you know what?

I was wrong about

the ice cream machine.

It rocks.

That's all I'll ask.

It doesn't even have to be public, but unbanned because you are going through some shit.

Thank you.

And Tatum injury sucks a lot.

Does.

Yeah.

Okay.

Game five.

Game five.

On the wood.

Joe Missoula looking you in the eyes.

I need this, Hank.

Come on.

Oh, no.

Memes just.

Missoula loves this.

Memes just gave a very sarcastic.

I'm so jealous of memes right now.

The fact that he gets to be Jank.

Yes.

I'm so jealous.

When we say that,

I want to clear something up.

When we say that we as a podcast don't root for injuries, that's not entirely true because memes definitely roots for injuries.

Oh, 100%.

No, I had my quarterback taken away four snaps into a season.

I don't

set on anybody.

That's why you wish for it now.

Like, I want you to suffer the way I suffer.

I wish injuries were turned off.

Injuries suck.

I just don't understand why they can't just.

I don't understand Achilles.

Like, why can't they just put it back together?

That's a good point.

Yeah, that's a really good point.

Why didn't they think about it?

If there's any doctors listening, try that.

Hank, would you like to...

Yes, I'd give him my Achilles.

Uh-oh.

Would you like to apologize to God?

No, they're still beefing.

Yeah, we'll see later tonight or tomorrow.

What?

Do you have a flight you have to take?

Shut up.

Yeah, so yeah, we'll see you tonight.

Yeah.

I'll probably read this tonight.

You got to make amends.

You got to talk to the G-Man.

Yeah.

All right.

Probably do.

Also, cool throwing all the dead guys in baseball.

Oh, yeah.

Because they got unbanned.

Yeah.

Pete Rose can go in the Hall of Fame.

You knew they were going to do this.

Shoeless Joe Jackson.

The rule was, I think Manfred said, if you're dead, then you're off the banned list.

Yeah.

Which is how it should be.

He's a lifetime ban, right?

Their lifetime's over.

Get them off the list.

Yeah.

Bear also will be in the Hall of Fame one day after he dies.

After he does.

Yeah, he should just fake his death and show up to Cooperstown.

That would rock.

Also, it sucked for Oswaldo Cabrera.

That injury was brutal.

Yeah, so thoughts.

Okay, let's get to our interviews.

We got Jans talking hockey, and then we got Pablo Torre talking Jordan.

We teamed up with Marzetti, and they've got you covered for game day.

Picture this: you've got your wings, your pizza, miscellaneous carbs, and then probably some veggies that your girlfriend or wife said you should eat.

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Then the smooth, classic ranch cools off wings, poppers, or anything else else you might want to dip in ranch like veggies, fries, or whatever.

It's ranch, so you know what to do.

This game day, don't be dumb.

Stop by the produce section of your local grocery store and get Marzetti Restaurant Quality Ranch, spicy or smooth, your choice.

You can find it in a cold case near the fruits and veggies section because that's where they put all the fresh tasting quality food.

Even if your team loses a bunch of games this season and your parlays don't pay out, your mouth can still be a winner on game game day when you ranch with Marzetti.

And now here's Keith Yandel.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest.

It is our guy, Keith Yandle.

That was three varies.

That's better than the none I got last time.

You got none last time?

I think so.

That's not true.

I always don't know what to do with like our friends and co-workers.

You know what I mean?

It's a little different because you're our guy and you're our colleague.

So it's like, yeah.

A very, very intimate guest.

Yeah, very intimate guest.

It is Jans.

We're going to talk some playoff hockey.

I don't know where we'll, actually, you know what?

Let's start with, you know, we're taping this on Tuesday morning.

So the Leafs and Panthers will play game five, but let's talk about that series first because you banged the drum on Sunday night.

How much credit do you get for the win?

a like dominant win by the Panthers on Sunday night.

I personally took no credit, but a lot of people have been throwing some credit my way, and I am not a guy to sit here and not take it.

So I am going to take it.

And I don't know how much I deserve of it, but I am taking it.

Because to be honest,

once I kind of settled down and was watching the game, I was like, oh, shit, if they lose, it's kind of on my head.

So then, like, I was all nervous during the game.

And so it kind of made for a fun, you know, fun 60 minutes.

And they played unbelievable the night that I did it.

Bob had a shutout.

So it was just a lot of fun to be at that, at the game.

I don't go to a ton of games anymore.

Just

during the week, it's brutal going there.

But

it was a blast.

So fun to be there.

And they played unbelievable.

It was the best game they've played in the playoffs, especially in this series.

It was back to

the way that the Ps play.

Yeah,

so this series, would you say it feels like seven.

It feels like we're going seven.

Is that fair to say?

And is it like,

how are you and Biz getting on right now?

Because it feels like it's gotten contentious on Spittin' chiclets.

Well, we're colleagues right now this week.

Last week or a week and a half ago, we were really, really, really good friends.

And this week, we're colleagues.

So I think,

you know, win or lose, I think we'll be back to where we were before.

But I think it's definitely taken a little out of our friendship.

You know, the way I, just the way he's been treating people I've been gracious enough to bring on the show,

just his whole antics and everything.

He's been foaming at the mouth a lot more.

So hopefully we got got to get him checked for Raby soon.

I know he was supposed to have a doctor's appointment, but knowing him, he probably missed it.

But yeah, it's just the guy's lost in the sauce, like Wit said.

He is lost.

And, you know, he thinks he's a part of the team.

The man never played for the team.

He barely played in the NHL.

So I don't know how he's claiming another team.

He was lucky enough to be on one.

So

just, yeah, it's just,

it's been a lot of headaches with him this week.

But I'm looking forward to the series to be over so we can be back to being uh friends.

Yeah, see, I think you're right that you'll go back to being friends if the Panthers win, but if the Leafs win, I think it's like it's even worse if the Leafs keep winning.

Like, imagine the Leafs win the State Lake Cup, you might not ever hear from Biz again, he might just move into the front office there.

Yeah, but you know what?

Like, I was at the game, and even a lot of Toronto fans were coming up to me, and I think a lot of them have had enough of his shit up the year.

Yeah, just a lot of people, just they're like, honestly, who is this guy?

I mean, he's taking up our time on he's sitting at TNT on the desk and wearing a you know just being a complete homer so I think a lot of people have had enough of him including myself so I think for the betterment of the game and watching hockey it'll be better for the Panthers to win this series so we can kind of you know just get him off talking about you know the the leafs agreed would you would you say that you deserve credit for that win or would you say that what you did banging the drum was just a continuation of the momentum that the Costco guys started when they banged the drum

That's what I was worried about.

I found out actually as we were going to the game, my kids were like, oh, Big Justice and Big AJ did it the day before.

And I'm like, how do I follow that up?

You know what I mean?

And then.

you know,

it was tough sledding, just the mental warfare for the 30 minutes leading up.

And then, you know, once the puck drops, actually during warm-ups, I could kind of tell, you know, you know, when Bob's in his rhythm, the way, you know, the way he was making saves and warm-ups, seeing everything into his glove.

Uh, so I knew he was going to have a good game, so I owe him.

I know he likes to give out bottles of wine after a shutout, so I'm uh, I'm actually going to send him a bottle of wine.

Oh, I like that.

So, so, in terms of the actual play on the ice, what is it about the Panthers that, because I would assume you're confident that they can win this series, even though they have to win at least one game in Toronto, but do you think they're overall the better team?

And also, I know we're taping this before the game, like how much justice is Kachuk going to get tonight after that?

That was a shitty hit by Domey, I would assume.

Like, in terms of in the locker room, are you guys afterwards being like, what was that?

The game was over, and he cross-checked someone into the boards.

Yeah, those are scary,

you know, especially when a guy has his back turned and he's that close, but far enough away from the boards where you could go in headfirst.

Luckily, Barkey's okay.

He's a big, strong guy.

But the best part about it, I find, is, you know, there's a couple, you know, it's playoff hockey.

There's going to be dirty hits, there's going to be dirty plays.

It happened in game one and game two, and just everybody in Canada, including Biz, is bitching and complaining about how dirty the Panthers are and all this.

And then you don't hear the Panthers complaining about anything.

They're just all about that business, all about, you know, going to work the next day, getting ready for the next game.

But I did not like the hit.

I thought it was dirty.

I think he got a $5,000.

uh $5,000 fine, which, you know, it is what it is.

But I know Max, I played with him a a little bit in Phoenix, or maybe he was just there for training kit.

But a good kid.

I don't think it was malicious.

I don't think he was trying to hurt anyone.

He was just trying to get some momentum for next game.

But definitely didn't like it.

But I really like the way the Florida handled it.

Like men, like, you know, the winners that they are, and they know what it takes, and they'll be ready to go, you know, Wednesday night.

Also, shout out to Players Association because I think that's the maximum allowable fine, right?

They love to say that $5,000.

And then they're like, that is the maximum that we can do up to this point.

5,000 seats, it does seem like a slap on the wrist.

Also, by the way, you just said Wednesday night.

I'm an idiot.

I didn't realize that game five is Wednesday night.

So this actually all works.

This preview, we're not going to see another game.

So, yeah, so is there going to be, is Kachuk going to go out there and fight right away?

I don't think he needs to.

I think they're going to play their game.

I think the momentum from the last two games at home, they got back to the way that they played.

The first two games they played in Toronto,

you know, you got to give credit to Toronto.

They played well, but

the Panthers shot themselves in the foot.

They, you know, had very uncharacteristic mistakes.

They had four guys on the ice one time to score a late goal.

Bob didn't play his best hockey.

I'm sure he'd be the first one to tell you that.

So

they lost those two games, but they honestly basically gave them away.

So I really like where they're at now.

The last two games they've played back to Panthers hockey where they're just getting pucks in.

You watch them play their best players.

Every single guy in the team hits guys, run guys through the wall.

wall they're in on the four check they they don't make stupid plays when they're playing well they did in the first two games but they haven't the last two so i just love the way that they're playing and they're a team that just can carry it over and you know keep building momentum on that and they're going to be scary on wednesday i heard a nasty rumor maybe you can tell me if this is true or not nasty rumor that the leafs hung out on the beach before the game and it dehydrated them being out in the sun that their fair toronto complexion wasn't built for the south florida sun is that true is there any validity to these rumors that i'm hearing?

I did see a picture floating around the internet of,

you know, one of the players took a picture with a fan, but I see nothing wrong with that.

I'm a big vitamin D guy, as you can tell by my beautiful tan.

50 shades of white.

But

yeah, no,

it's what you do when you're down here.

Usually, you know, I loved playing.

Playing down here and then other teams, you know, the teams from Canada, Winnipeg, they'd come in.

You'd see the backup goalie the next day on the bench just burnt red.

He knew he wasn't playing.

So some guys might give in an hour on the beach, and, you know, the backup's giving it about three hours on the beach roasting away.

But I didn't see too many sunburns, so I think that they knew what they were doing.

They probably rotated, used some SPF.

But no,

I can't blame them from that.

I give, you know, you got to take in the cities.

When you go to these cities,

you only play in the league so long.

You only get to go around these cities.

So

I see nothing wrong with it.

Yeah, it must be nice for the Maple Leafs, too, especially when they play

in southern towns like Colorado or Miami in the United States.

They don't get recognized, I would assume, going around town, right?

Yeah, I mean, it's honestly one of the best parts about playing down here, and especially now with how good they are.

The fans are still respectful.

They appreciate what the guys are doing on the ice, but you can go anywhere you want.

You're not going to get harassed anywhere.

And I think that's just such a

good perk to have a playing down here.

And

you still go to the rank.

It's the same game once you get in that arena.

But when you leave the rank in your golf cart and flip-flops and Django shorts, it's nice.

Yeah.

All right.

So other series I want to talk about, the Oilers and the Knights.

It feels like the Oilers are, I mean, they're up 3-1.

Tell me this, though, because Skinner had an incredible, he had a shutout after Saturday night.

Was I right in my assessment?

Like, I don't know hockey very well, but where Skinner was for that buzzer beater was just insane.

Like that was just bad goal.

Like you can't be that far out and you have to hug the post there.

Is that a correct assessment?

Because it seemed like something like, how does that happen?

Yeah, I mean, honestly, it should have never got to that point.

William Carlson,

he's one on three, dumps the puck in.

I think there's eight seconds left at the time where he dumps it in.

And, you know, it's one versus three.

And he ends up somehow getting to the puck and just throwing it to the middle.

And luckily, Riley Smith was there.

So at that point, it's kind of just panic time because you know, everyone's you count down the mental clock in your head, and you guys, every guy's probably like, Oh my god, there's one second, two seconds, and then you kind of just

panicking, you don't know where to go.

So, I'm sure the goalie did the same thing.

I'm, I'm sure if it was uh, you know, 10 minutes left in the game, it would have never happened.

But, you know, the panic set in, and uh, you know, he kind of just got himself out of place.

But for how dominant you know, Edmonton has looked, like that, the win that Vegas got there, like that's the only way that I think they have a a chance of beating them right now.

It was just like a miraculous win, win with 0.4.

It's like you can't give Mahomes enough time on the clock.

You couldn't give Tom Brady enough time on the clock.

That's how the Oilers are right now.

You give them enough time, they're going to find ways to score.

You know, whether it's late in the game, you know, clutch goals.

I didn't give them the credit that they deserve coming in.

I think I had them even lose in first round.

They've impressed me so much just with their depth scoring.

You know, McDavid and Dreiseitel are still playing amazing, but they haven't had to carry the load as much as they have in the past, which is scary for every other team because, I mean, they haven't got going as much as they really could, but because they haven't had to.

Yeah.

But, I mean, they're still finding a way.

They're scoring huge goals.

They're getting big assists, game winners, and stuff like that.

But you got, you know, Adam Henry, Corey Perry, guys just

chipping in and finding ways to win.

Do you believe in Skinner?

Because that was, I mean, that was an incredible

comeback to be like, hey, here's a shutout because he has that happen on Saturday night.

I think people, I even saw people tweeting like, he can't play again in this series, which seemed a little knee-jerk reaction, then gets a shutout on Monday night.

Do you believe in him going forward?

Or is that like

the weak link where you're like, hey, he's got to hold up.

I don't know if he can actually do it.

I mean, on paper, he's definitely the,

you know, in quotations, the weak link of their team.

He, he's an amazing goalie.

He's, you know, he's a big guy.

He's,

you know, he's got really good instincts.

But I think last last game he just he really used his size to advantage and wasn't trying to overplay things and you know um he he was just in good position at all times and i don't think he was tested as much as you know other goalies are uh i think you know even if he plays sub-par a little bit they can still they can still win this series but i think it's that next series whether it's against dallas or or winnipeg is when uh you know when he's getting a lot more pressure that's when you're gonna really see what he's made of is there any chance at all that the knights have to come back from 3-1

Honestly,

I don't think so.

I don't know if they look a little off right now.

They look like they're

just not on the same page.

They got some guys going well.

Mark Stone, I think, is a little banged up.

He left game

three the other day.

He played last night, which was a good sign, but he just didn't look like himself.

Jack Eichel's been amazing for them, carrying the load, but he's just, you know, they're not getting the support that they have in past.

And

I don't think that they can come back in this series against Edmonton.

I think Edmonton's playing at a different level right now.

And, you know, if you only got to win one more game and you got Leon and Connor,

it's always going to be tough to close them out.

Got it.

So can we talk about my caps for a second?

It's been a painful series to watch.

Watching the Hurricanes Baron hockey, it's tough, especially when they're kicking the shit out of you.

I mean, it's bad enough if you're just watching them casually, but if you're on the receiving end, it's a real tough watch to get through.

My takeaway is that the Capitals, they look like they've lost a lot of the energy that they had at the end of the season and in the first round of the playoffs.

For whatever reason, they seem like they're kind of coming out there flat, and we're missing a lot of opportunities early in the first periods of these games.

And every time that happens, you can mark that down as being like, that's going to be the difference in this game because Caroline is going to get out to a lead, and then we're going to have to press and try to score in the third period, and then leave things open on the back end, And their counterattack is so good that they'll just end up scoring if you end up pressing too hard.

So my takeaway as just a casual is you've got to score on the opportunities early.

But what have you seen from the series?

Yeah, that's a good breakdown of that.

I think last night was the first time that there's even been a goal in the first period for either team.

So Washington still hasn't scored in the first.

I think they only have one goal in the power play this series, which is, you know,

if you're a Capitals player or a fan,

that's how you guys, you know, make your your bread and butter is scoring on the power play.

And it just hasn't been able to get it.

I think Washington does a really good job of suffocating teams and

not only five on four, but five on five.

Their defensive zone, they just play really fast.

They get on you.

Not a lot of teams play the way that they do.

I mean, this series is so boring to wait.

It's basically, it's like the late 90s, early 2000 New Jersey Devils kind of sit back in the rocking chair and not let you get through the neutral zone and then just pressure the shit out of you in the defensive zone.

But, hey, at the end of the day, it's winning hockey.

Rod Brindemore gets all of his guys to buy in.

He gets

everything out of his guys.

He doesn't have the one big superstar.

He's got guys that just

come in there, check their ego at the door and play hard for him.

So it's definitely...

not a fun series to watch, especially if your team's losing to them.

But

if you're a Carolina fan and at the end of the day, if you're hoisting that trophy in June, it doesn't matter how you did it.

But yeah, this one,

I think you're 100% right.

They have to score early.

If I was the Capitals and Carberry's done an unreal job there, I would just go full audit.

I'd pull my goalie in the first period.

Get a six-on-five.

Why not

in the first?

I hear you.

The Kanes are so dangerous on that counter-attack when they muck up the neutral zone.

And I think our only power play goal is in a five-on-three situation.

It wasn't even five-on-four.

And it seems that even when we've got a power play, the Hurricanes are the ones that are getting the better scoring opportunities on the counter-attack.

They're having more opportunities for shorthanded goals than we are having solid opportunities on a five-on-four.

It's crazy watching.

So, credit to the Hurricanes.

They're obviously a very good team.

I don't particularly like watching them play, but if there's a way to turn it around, I think that if the Caps win game five at home, it might go seven.

That's my take.

I got to do it one game at a time.

If we win at home, then I think we're going to go into Carolina and win game six.

And I got to give a shout out to and put some respect on his name is Tom Wilson.

Like he's obviously, you know, he's been around a long time.

He's an unbelievable player, but I think he is a bona fide star right now.

Like he should be on that Olympic team.

You know, no one wants to play against him.

He does everything for that team.

Power play, penalty kill, five on five,

amazing leader as well.

So

I think you got to talk about him a little bit more of how good he is and how much he can impact a game.

And also Logan Thompson.

He's been amazing.

A couple of bad ones in

game three I didn't love, but

he played decent last night.

He's getting no run support.

But they are a team.

They've done it all year.

They've played well.

They've found ways to win games.

And I think you're right.

If they can go home and get a big win, get the momentum going.

But it's that building in Raleigh, too.

It's a tough, tough building to play in.

Unless you like chain restaurants, they get you when you land.

You go into a chain restaurant.

You're staying at a decent hotel, not great.

And then you're going to

a ways, locker rooms, awful.

So it's kind of a mental game, too, from the minute you land there to the minute the game's over.

Yeah, it might be loser talk, so I'm not going to say it, but if I were to do loser talk, I would say it's important to remember.

in perspective, this cap season was way better than anybody ever expected.

I'm not going to say that, obviously, because we're still playing.

I'll say it.

Yeah, Big Cat was about to say that.

I was going to say, like, this cap season, watching, like, it's way, like, we've outblown the expectations.

That's loser talk, though.

I'm focused on winning this series.

It's about winning the Stanley Cup, but it's been an incredible season.

I'm not going to say that.

I mean, if it ended today, we'd be happy with it.

It has fans in the Capitals and a puck.

We would like it.

And yeah, I mean, obviously, everything with what Ovie did this year, I think, I don't know if their social media team did a really good job just getting clips out of Carberry talking to the team.

It just seems like such a cool, tight-knit group.

I've talked to their assistant coach there.

He just says like the guys love each other.

And every coach says that, but like he said these guys absolutely love each other.

We had James Van Riemsdyke on Chiclets yesterday and his brother's on that team.

And he said he went to his nephew's one first birthday and there was like 15, 20 guys on the team over at the at his house for the for the party.

So you can tell that they're a galvanized group.

They love each other and easy team to root for.

I think everybody wants to see them move on here.

And

you've got to win one more.

Just win one at a time, PFT.

One at a time.

Eyes on the prize.

We're a gape.

Our team, we lead the league in being a gape.

Are you familiar with a gape?

No.

That's our team motto.

It might be the team motto of death.

We're a gape.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're wide open.

I got a strategy question for you, Jans.

Like, when we get deeper in the playoffs, you'll see teams switch up lines later in a series.

Like, like, the Blackhawks, Quinnville used to do like Tazen Kane on the same line when it got like to game five.

It's like, you need a win.

What is that?

What happens in the locker room when the coach switches up the lines?

And, like, obviously you play defense, so he's probably not switching that up.

But, like, what is the vibe like?

And what is like the mentality when it's like, all right, hey, we're loading up the first line, and now everyone else has to figure it out?

Yeah, it's kind of, especially in playoffs.

When it happens during the regular season, it's kind of like, oh, God, you kind of, you're like, hey, what about us?

We can play with these guys too.

But when it's playoff time and no one cares about their stats or all you care about is the wins.

And, you know, I think when you're in the locker room and you see, like, I could only, if I was in the Edmonton locker room as a defenseman and you see on the board before the game, McDavid, Dry Seidel, and whoever, Corey Perry.

You are just itching to be on the ice with them because you know it's going to be fun.

You know, you're going to have, you know, snap it around the offensive zone.

You're going to, you know, you're going to be high flying.

So I think a lot of it, too, is just kind of, and especially in playoffs too, like those other three lines have to be like, hey, we got to do our job of just, you know, holding the fort down a little bit, maybe pitch in with a goal or two, and then we let these big dogs eat.

And,

you know, that's the best part about playoffs is nobody cares what happens, like where you're playing, whether you're a healthy scratch or not.

If your team's winning,

everybody's happy.

And but, but, especially as as a fan watching when the big boys get put on the same line and they're playing and it's kind of just like all-out pond hockey, it's so fun to watch.

Yeah, the supercharged lines always like pump me up when I see it in later in playoffs.

They're like, oh, they're just going, they're going for it.

They're just going to basically be like, this line will win this game for the team.

What about in terms of

the course of the playoffs?

Because you had some deep runs.

Is there a point where, not that it drags on because playoff hockey and you're pumped, but where it's like, okay, this is where you have to, you know,

focus a little bit more because exhaustion does start to take a toll.

Yeah, it's probably, it's probably right now, like halfway through

the second series, is you're mentally

coming down from the high of being in the playoffs now.

You're traveling a little more.

You're not getting the sleep that you're getting every night

or that you're supposed to be getting every night because

your blood's pumping after the games.

You've got to be up having meetings and practices and whatnot the next day.

So I think right now is probably that time where your body's like, holy shit, what are we doing to myself right now?

And like, you know, you're really in the fight.

But it's also at the end of the day, it's the best time of the year, too, because you're just playing hockey.

That's all you care about.

That's all you're worried about.

You're not dealing with shit at your kids' school or, you know, going to the grocery store to pick up stuff for your wife.

It's strictly hockey.

And, you know, that's why you play.

Yeah, we got to talk about Miko Randon because what he's doing is absolutely insane.

Although they did prove that they can score without him.

I think he had how many goals in a row was it that he either assisted on?

It was 13.

13 consecutive goals that he either assisted on or personally scored.

That streak came to an end in their last game.

But he does have nine goals in six games.

He's got nine assists in the postseason.

Is this the craziest

one-man performance that you've seen in the playoffs?

Yeah, I mean, I think just just the whole, you know, everything surrounding it too, and with him being traded to Carolina, not wanting to get traded and then being flipped to Dallas.

And I love the fact that it's almost a little MBA-ish is like he, most hockey guys would be like, oh, yeah, it is what it is.

It's the trade.

But he's like, I wanted to, I wanted to come to Dallas so I could shove it up their ass.

And he did it.

And he, and he's got the entire hockey world like flipped on its head.

He's got guys that used to play with him, you know, answering questions of, you know, why the hell did you trade him?

You know, guys weighing in that used to, you know, play with him, even that aren't on the team anymore, are weighing in on Twitter.

Nazim Qadri was like, this is why you don't trade the big boys.

And, you know, it's bringing a little drama to the game, which is always fun.

But he, you know, he's living up to his nickname of the horse, the big horse, and he is absolutely on a mission right now.

And to go into a team, you know, I think he only played, what, 10 or 12 regular season games with them.

So it's not a ton of familiarity with your players.

I know he's countrymates with Rupe Hints.

So they have a little chemistry together.

But it's really hard to go in and not have that much time with a team and to be playing this good because

a lot of tendency,

you figure out how guys like to play, where guys like the puck, the tendencies of where guys are going to be in the O zone, D zone.

And the fact that he's figured it out this quick.

And at the end of the the day, I think he's just like, hey, boys, hop on my back and enjoy the ride.

And he is putting on an absolute clinic right now.

The big horse.

Yeah, I love that nickname, the big horse.

Yeah.

I've heard people call him the moose, too.

I don't know.

A moose is another one.

What's the difference between having a horse on your team and having a moose on your team?

Well, when you got both of them, I mean, if you have two nicknames, it's a horse and a moose.

You'd rather that.

I don't know.

I'd probably rather a horse because I feel like they're a little faster.

Yeah.

I mean, a moose is both beautiful animals, too.

So, I mean,

I don't know, I'd rather have a horse.

What would you rather have?

I don't know, I think a moose for hockey, you got to have a moose, like a moose is like cold weather, like Canada.

Like, that's that's he's in Dallas, though, so he might die.

That's true, yeah, it's a good point.

I, when I hear people say, like, oh, yeah, we got this horse, I feel like that's a fast guy scores a lot of goals, but you got to have a moose if you want to win a cup.

I actually, if I, if I could do, if I could go off script here, I think I'd rather an ox.

An ox is just built for work,

He's legit.

He is.

I was talking to Wit about it the other day.

I remember my first couple of years in the league playing against Yarme Yager.

And Wayne Gretzky, I remember in the pre-scout meeting, he was like, hey, if he turns his back on you, like...

you'll never get the puck because he was just so big and so strong and used his ass so good and that's exactly how rantnan is ranton is the you know from when i played against yager till when i played against ranton like the two of the only guys that you're like oh my god if he turns his back on you, there's no way of getting the puck because they're just so big and so strong and use their edges so good.

And

yeah,

he's a specimen.

And I honestly do not know how they traded him.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

So, all right.

So, in that series, the other question, because that game is tonight, so we are taping before game four.

Hellebuck has been really bad on the road.

It's crazy.

I think they've had 10 games total in the playoffs, 34 goals he's given up.

21 of them have been on the road.

So, what is that?

Like, is it mental?

What's going on?

And is there a fix?

I think the first series, he got a little bit too much heat, I think, because the play in front of him was awful.

The games that they lost on the road against St.

Louis, obviously, he didn't play great.

He let in a couple, you know, not so great goals, but I...

I truly believe that the team was dog shit in front of him, too.

They weren't playing their best.

And, yeah, I heard an interview with,

Jesus, what's their captain's name?

Whatever.

And

he admitted it.

He said that

they weren't playing a Lowry.

And he was like, we're not playing good in front of him.

We're not giving him a chance to win.

And

they were taking accountability for it.

It's something you got to figure out.

If you're going to go on a run and win a Stanley Cup, you got to win on the road at some point.

And,

you know, right now, I think Dallas

is a team

I see going further.

I see them winning this series.

And it's strictly because of Ottinger, too.

Like, he does not get rattled, whether he's home or away.

He kind of plays the same game.

He's not, like, the goals that Hello Bucks given up, he looks like, you know, sometimes like Skinner the other night, like where he's way out of position, where goaltenders are usually never out of position.

And he's just not playing the game that he played all year.

And, you know, when you win, I think this will be his third Besna.

And, you know, people just expect you to have a shout out every game.

Obviously, that's not going to happen.

But

I think he's also one of those guys too.

If he gets a road win, it could flip something in his brain where he just goes on a complete tear and it'll be tough to score against them.

All right.

So obviously, you're going to pick the Panthers to come out of the East.

Are you...

Do you want it to be another Chicklet?

Do you want it to be a Chicklett Stanley Cup where it's you versus Witt, or do you think that it's going to be the stars?

I've said it from the beginning that it's going to be Panthers stars, so I'm sticking with that.

But this Edmund team does scare me a little bit.

Even thinking, you know, don't want to think too far ahead, but if it was a playoffs, you have a revenge tour of, you know, McDavid, you know, losing last year.

You can just, you see the videos of him in the locker room, pissed off after, throwing stuff around the locker room.

And you can almost just see that as like the start of the DVD, the championship DVD for this year.

So

that stuff scares me a little bit, but we're still a long ways away from that.

I'll still stick with Dallas coming out of the west and Florida coming out of the East and

just another no-tac city Stanley Cup finals.

Yeah, so

if so if the Oilers somehow hoist the cup, are you ready to pick up the slack and come on PMT more often?

Because I don't think we'll ever be able to have Wit on again.

I think Wit might move to Edmonton and just become like May or coach or GM.

I think he'll,

but the good thing about him, he's not lost in the sauce like Biz is, and he played for the team.

Like, he was a part of that organization.

Yeah,

I feel like Witt's been very calm this playoffs, which, you know, it's respect.

He's got three kids now, so maybe he's a little tired.

Perspective.

Yeah, but we just can't, like,

he has been a lot more calm, but we can get him rattled by just saying Conor McDavid hasn't won the big one even though I love watching Conor McDavid play the game I understand it's a team sport I don't actually think like he's a choker but it's fun to say that to Witt and watch him get upset it is fun and I mean anytime Wit's upset is always fun because he gets really passionate about things and

and you know he'd he'd die for his team he loves the oilers uh I think he's probably regretting them right now uh you know all year having to watch the late games and be up late.

And, you know, early wake-ups at six in the morning with the young'ins isn't that fun.

But, you know, he's a ride or die.

You know, even through their tough times during this season, he sticks with them.

And so you got to give him respect.

But I'd much rather Edmonton win than Toronto and see Biz's antics.

True, that's fair.

Yeah.

Also, just remind Whitney that I think he retired a Panther, right?

I think, yeah, his last year in the NHL was the Panthers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So if he goes in the the Hall of Fame, then he goes in as a Panther.

Did he go to a camp with the blues?

He did, yeah.

Him and Biz.

Yeah, so they might both be blues.

Well, what's crazy with Biz, I heard this on Chickletts the other day.

Biz has, he's evolved from saying we, you know, with the maple leaf.

Sometimes we do that on, actually, we do that a lot on part of my tick.

We're like we, us, when referring to the team.

He's jumped all the way past that.

Now he's saying I instead of we.

He's saying, like, I got to be better in the next game.

Like, he has, he's taken on the entire team as him.

The ego on this guy is incredible.

Oh.

Did you, like, he's not working TNT and he's going back to his house in Welland, Ontario.

I need to find out where he wouldn't tell me where he's watching the game.

And I need to.

If I find out where he's watching the game, I will get Twitter just to tweet out where he's going to be.

And I will fly any Panthers fan to where he is just to torture him the entire game.

So if you guys could do me a favor and be like, hey, where are you watching the game?

Because he won't see.

Actually, he'll never see this.

No.

So he, if you could, if you could do that for me, find out.

He's find him right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

you don't even need, I don't even think you need a Panther fan.

I think you need like a biz super fan that just wants to talk his year off.

No, but he's so like he loves himself so much.

He would love that.

That's true.

He was seriously like, I got to do better.

I got to be better on the power play.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's never played a minute of power play his entire life.

And I think him with, you know, they got five of the best players in the league on their power play, but it's his fault.

You know what you should do?

Have oldie.

Oldie should text him and be like, hey, where are we watching the game?

Yeah, good call.

Good call.

Yeah, use Oldie to get to him.

He'll never see it coming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think this all starts because Wiz, like, or Biz got a, he got like a Maple Leafs jersey, right?

Or like a jacket.

The team sent him a jacket.

And then, like, a little kid that gets something from their favorite team, he now thinks that that's his team.

No, no.

The reason why he thinks he's a part of the team, yes, because that ambassador's jacket that Brendan Shanahan gave him, but he claims that

when he was put on waivers from Pittsburgh, that Toronto,

that Toronto and Phoenix put a claim in for him.

And the way that it works in hockey, if

you know, you get put on waivers, anyone can claim you.

And then if multiple teams claim you, whoever came in a lower position the year before gets you.

So in Phoenix, they finished lower than Toronto.

So he ended up in Phoenix, which I still don't even believe that because Toronto,

I can't imagine they needed a guy like him back then.

They had like Jay Rosehill.

They had Colt Noor.

They had tough guys.

And

I can't imagine they wanted Biz at any point.

That's an all-time stretch, too, to be like, they kind of wanted me, I think.

So now

I've dedicated my life to that.

All right.

Rihans, this has been awesome.

I got one last question for you.

It's a robot question.

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So my last question, very important question, because you obviously, hockey is your life.

You love hockey.

You want the league to grow, grow, grow.

Are you worried at all for a potential Panthers, Hurricanes, Eastern Conference final and losing the Henry Lockwoods of the world?

Because Hank has said he's out.

He's out if it's Panthers, Hurricanes.

I mean, that's probably what it's going to be.

Yeah.

So he's out.

So are you worried about losing the Hanks of the world?

No.

I think Florida will, I think that the way that they play will kind of take away from the way that Carolina plays.

They play so hard and fast.

I think they'll kind of, both teams will play like each other.

Both teams will play more of a Florida style type game.

I think they're just doing what they can do right now to Washington.

It's a good game plan.

They're suffocating them.

But I think against Florida, you got to have a completely different

game plan, and the game will be completely different.

It'll be a lot faster, a lot more up-tempo, goal scoring.

Yeah, and even too, when you're in the Eastern Conference finals, it's always must-watch TV.

So, Hank, we'll dial you back in,

and it'll be a fun series, no matter what.

Did you hear Hank when started the playoffs?

He said that he didn't know the Bruins didn't make it until he looked at the playoff schedule and didn't see them there.

They were terrible, yeah.

He said he looked at the schedule, he's like, Hey, where's the Bruins game?

Oh my god, all right, Yans, you're the best.

Everyone listen to Spit and Chicklets.

They're doing awesome live shows too, uh, during the week.

They're doing watch-alongs, so they got the best hockey content this time of year by far, all year, but especially this time of year.

Uh, thanks, Jans.

What's up, guys?

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And now, here's Pablo Torre.

And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest.

It is Pablo Torre.

He is an investigative journalist,

very good at it.

And you can find him at Pablo Finds Out, which is his podcast, which you launched, what, a few months ago, and it's been very successful.

Yeah, it's been less than two years.

I believe I have the credibility to quote Hank as a full journalismist.

So it's really good.

Yeah.

So everyone, go listen to this is where the reporting on,

can we call her, can we keep calling her Jordan?

I know you stopped calling her Jordan.

I feel like you guys, you guys are empowered to do that.

I miss it.

I miss the feeling when I listen to you guys.

I'm like, oh, that felt, it always felt good

to just read it the way that it's spelled.

When you interview 11 separate fucking people about someone, it's like, I should probably just call her the way that she wants to be called.

Yeah,

flip back and forth if you're doing that many interviews.

Yeah, you lose track of the bit.

Yeah.

So, all right.

So, before we start, I think journalist to journalists, because we are journalists as well, I think we have to just lay all of our cards on the table and admit any of our bias or

any ulterior motives.

We'll start.

We're Team Jordan

because Hank told us that if we ever want to get Bill Belichick on the show, we got to be Team Jordan.

So we ride with our queen.

Your reporting seems bad and wrong.

Witch hunt.

Witch hunt.

You have your sources.

What about our sources that say that you're just jealous of their love?

Yeah, so that's our bias.

Do you have any bias?

Yeah, I strongly disagree with Joshua L.

Zuckerman, her former boyfriend of some 60 years

sort of an age, when he calls, hold on, let me just get the review that I mostly disagreed with.

And this wasn't in the episode, but when he called a Plavak Mali 2012, quote, so lovely, so perfect, so summery, so red, so strawberry, so refreshing, so lightly acidic, so watermelon, so strawberry, so lovely, so enjoy it.

I felt that was a little bit, that was like a, that was a little much.

That's not a five-star review.

You have to admit, though, he landed the plan on that one with the so enjoy it.

And he came back.

Yeah, he came back to the strawberry, so strawberry.

So strawberry, most of all.

Yeah.

All right.

So, so

talking real here, I guess, like from the start,

the reason why your podcast is successful and I enjoy it very much is you do do real journalism on sometimes trivial topics.

And I would say this is probably a little bit of a trivial topic, although there is some weird, like, hey, this is the best coach of all time.

What the hell is going on?

So when did you start, when are you like, I'm going to go down this path?

Like, I'm actually going to figure out what is going on here.

Yeah.

So my show, the premise is explicitly, we take stupid things seriously and also serious things stupidly.

And in this case, it started when we saw the Super Bowl commercial.

And for those who are familiar with Jordan's,

Jordan's internet presence, you're like, oh my God, she's in it.

The girlfriend is in the ad.

And I started making calls around why it is that she was in that Super Bowl ad, you know, the height of American success and commercialism.

And it turned out that she had appointed herself Bill Balichek's agent and was the one negotiating with Bad NFL and Matt Damon.

And at that point, it was like, this is a stupid thing we can take seriously.

But what I underestimated is the degree to which it was also like a story about real power dynamics with the highest paid employee, a public employee in the state of North Carolina.

And so really that episode, which we did in February of this year, ended up being this lighthouse.

where a lot of people behind the scenes were like, oh my God, someone's finally noticing what our lives have been like behind the scenes as Bill Balichek launched, I think, like a half dozen media properties simultaneously out of the same New Jersey studio where they do the NFL film stuff.

And so it all was kind of weirdly coalescing in a very defined way.

And that's when I said I should probably just start making every call that I can.

So we appreciate you doing that because the podcast was fantastic.

I learned a lot.

It was also fun to hear how you guys discussed it.

One of the more explosive claims from it was the underdog commercial, that this was a pattern of Jordan inserting herself into multiple commercials now, where she said, okay, I've got an idea, maybe a better idea for this commercial, where it's Bill and her at the pool.

She's trying to get his attention.

You said that they might have filmed it, but they also might have just pretended to film it to satiate her and her request.

Have we made any progress on that?

Do we know if there's actually any film of this?

I am actively working on acquiring confirmation around whether I can get that video that may or may not exist.

That's a lot of clauses to sort of protect what I don't know.

Just know that this is one of the, look, I have holy grails in my life when it comes to videos.

One of them was published on the show last year.

It was the Knicks recruiting video for LeBron that had the last scene that James Dandolfini ever did as Tony Soprano in it.

And also,

you know, Jim Dolan's list of super friends all recruiting LeBron in the secret video.

We got that video.

This one, I am actively working on still.

I can tell you, though, that when it came to how that scene unfolded, I mean, just imagine, just imagine Bill Balichek showing up.

He is this guy.

This is, by the way, a lot of like New England fans on that set, right?

So, this is people who look up to Bill Balichek and they have to figure out, like,

is Bill

okay with what's happening?

And Bill Balichek, I'm told, just like had no change in his face as his girlfriend showed up, unilaterally deciding, I'm wearing a yellow polka da bikini now, and it's time for us to shoot a scene.

And it was just like, okay, we got to make this happen somehow.

And I am tracking down the people who may actually have the answer to my question.

All right.

So, so, in terms of timeline, you were already investigating what was going on when the famous CBS interview happened.

Is that right?

Yes.

So, the CBS interview happens, and that was,

it's crazy because it felt like Jordan was basically trying to not she was trying to hide something but it had the reverse effect where everyone was like holy shit what is this and everyone started looking at it so when that happens are you like oh here we go like this is this is now going to be a huge story that people want to talk about yeah i was really worried at first that i was going to be beaten on the story that i was very early on um but what ended up happening actually was that people felt like we were at a last straw kind of a moment.

So a lot of the stuff with Carolina, frankly, the timeline of this, that stuff changed when it came to the administration and the higher-ups at the university because of CBS.

Like, a lot of the conversation behind the scenes has always been, who's going to tell Bill?

Who's going to tell Bill that this is a problem?

And the CBS thing was the number one example to date of just it being forced into a public forum in which every tabloid was demanding answers.

And also, CBS itself was saying, hey, this statement that was released about the agreement that Jordan Hudson and Bill Belichick and CBS had, that's a lie.

That's not true.

And that is something that I reported as soon as it was happening.

And I can confirm, yes, there was no agreement, all that stuff.

But that was the, it was really the tipping point that actually unlocked a lot of sourcing on this, which was good for me as much as I feared it at first.

Do you have the footage of the CBS interview uncut?

Because I would assume there was, from everything I've read there was more than one interruption during the course of that interview and obviously there's been reported that it was a a 30-minute walkout yeah no I've I've I've confirmed that there's like 30 minutes of video with a lot of her giving hand signals you know again spygate style one might even say

hand signals that there are people who are on set at CBS who are really

irritated actually that they haven't released it yet because this is again you guys our instincts are the same here like everyone would love to see that but the the the comedy of like what that was is that this was cbs sunday morning right so like they're like we don't we don't want to do that they didn't want to do any of this they handled this even even the expose around like here is jordan hudson behind the scenes in the way that she didn't realize she was on camera that was handled so classily uh that it just sort of indicates that they don't actually want to pick a fight about this it's just that they were driven to the point where they couldn't do any of the other stuff that they wanted to do like what i was told about that day was and I don't think I've said this elsewhere, but like Belichick shows up late because he's on the phone.

It's a recruiting thing.

And so there's a bit of a sort of like a mess as they show up.

It's his old high school in Annapolis, Maryland.

The whole thing was, I was the Navy sweaters, by the way.

Like she says to people that she picks his clothes out for him, by the way.

And so they have these Navy sweaters.

His is full of holes.

People have asked me, have you heard whether those holes are like, you know, if that's stolen valor, like the game-wornness of it?

Is that real?

Did she take a car and run it over a a bunch of times?

That was asked to me, and I was like, I don't know the answer to that question.

Um, but the thing about what happened was they never got to the part where they like actually say, and we're at the high school where Bill Belichick was, and they do the walk-and-talk.

You know, the walk-and-talk?

Yeah, they never got to do the walk-and-talk because the thing exploded because of this question that, again, as everyone now has seen, I think the acknowledgements of the book.

Like, one of the first people he thanks is his idea mill and creative muse, who i am told separately uh did in fact come up with the idea for the book and so when they ask the question how'd you guys meet the idea that this happened in that way is so flabbergasting to everybody that they had no choice but to acknowledge it in the thing they put on air So do you have any idea why she didn't want him to answer that question?

I know it's been speculated that maybe there's a reality show coming out or some show between the two of them where she's like, that's that's RIP.

And so I want to save that.

I don't want to give that away on CBS Sunday morning.

Yeah, the two theories, the two clubhouse leaders, and we don't look, in fairness to Jordan Hudson, right?

Like, I emailed her, she did not respond.

I don't know her point of view on these things.

All I can do is report as exhaustively as I can around this stuff.

But there are two clubhouse leading theories.

One is the one that I also, yeah,

I believe is quite real: that she has this understanding of exclusivity, where if she says something in one interview, she can't then sell it to a different outlet for a reality show, for instance.

So, another subplot of the CBS thing that I was told, by the way, that the whole thing they wanted to do at first, the original idea for it was not Annapolis, Maryland, it was North Carolina.

And

of course, everybody would, that's like good press.

But Jordan was the one, or at least she had a very controlling interest in saying, we can't do North Carolina because we're doing that.

for something else.

And maybe that was going to be hard knocks, maybe that was going to be the other thing, but that was not, the whole high school thing was supposed to be North Carolina.

And she was instrumental in saying, we're not doing North Carolina.

And so the next theory, just on top of that, and I don't think I've I'm realizing how much I've spent.

I just didn't have enough time in the episode for all of this stuff.

So my memory is being jogged out.

But the other thing is that she didn't want to acknowledge her actual age at the time that they met.

And this was something that we pieced together because we pulled, and this is one of the creepiest things I'll ever say, we pulled Miss Main

footage from last year.

And we were like, she says, Jordan Hudson, Hancock, 22.

And that pageant was in March,

right?

So last year, March 2024, she's 22.

February 2021, logically, she would be

19 years old.

Okay.

19.

Which,

like, so obviously there's a big age gap.

That makes some people uncomfortable.

I'm not going to disagree with that.

But 19 and 20, they are both oh but over 18 so that's the weird part to me why i don't understand why that like 19 and 20 makes a huge difference from their perspective it's already the age gap is already what it is there's no

fully agree yeah oh my my whole thing here is not like man now we've crossed the line it's i don't right frankly like bill belichick's yums i am not here to yuck any of them like whatever you want dude like i it's just not my not my not my issue um what i'm doing though is trying to figure out a consistency of like how she presents and tells the truth or not around who she is and what she's up to.

And when it's coupled, all of that is coupled with

this thing that I reported about how there is this staff directory basically that was passed around the UNC wives and girlfriends of the coaches, in which she put her age as April 2000 instead of April 2001.

Again, the exercise here, and this is, it's just

stupid the degree to which we got into detail on this, but look at your keyboard.

Look how far apart the zero and the one are.

Yeah.

It's just hard to accidentally mistype your own birth date when the difference is zero, zero, or zero, one.

And so people are saying, combined with Instagram sleuthing.

And by the way, his Helchex family is in, again, in a parallel way, looking at all of this stuff even more deeply than me, you can imagine.

And they're saying to themselves, hold on, there are these Instagram posts that used to have explicit like birthday details that have been edited out of posts.

That's what I was told.

I'm not, I'm not, I haven't gone through, I don't have the before and after on that.

I just know that people have been noticing that she has been cleaning up what age she says she is.

Have you gone back at all through like the Manning casts?

All the appearances that like Belichick made in the media from his house or from his studio.

Is she like behind the scenes running the camera on that?

Can we go back and say like, oh, she's in the room for all this?

What I can tell you is that when he filmed things that NFL Films, Mount Laurel, New Jersey, that big headquarters, like the only media companies ever trusted, because he's, again, a football guy in the utmost way, in a real way.

NFL Films was his thing.

The president of NFL Films, by the way, that dude started as a guy who was with the 01 Patriots, like doing the behind-the-scenes footage.

So, like, he's had a deep trust there.

What I can tell you is that when it came to when he was filming stuff, those shows inside the NFL, the underdog show, the McAfee stuff, the Peyton stuff, it was all out of this one set.

And the people on those shows, dozens of people, all say that she was around all of the time.

So literally, I don't think she was behind the camera, but physically, I think she might have been somewhere behind the camera.

It was just all happening at the same time over last summer, that offseason, and she was there always.

So what we've seen since the pod came out and since the CBS Sunday morning thing came out is kind of

the UNC brass is kind of clearing things up.

Or they're issuing public statements saying that she does not work for the program.

She's Bill's personal social media person, personal PR person.

Doesn't have anything to do with UNC football.

And then today, Belichick said that he's excited to be back in meetings.

He's probably the first person who's ever said that.

And that she has nothing to do with UNC football.

And so is that something that's changed in the last week?

Yes, yes.

This is my whole thing about the ban.

This is like the weird nature of this story is that the CBS thing opened the floodgates, as you guys detected.

And what happened since is this power struggle behind the scenes from the very top of university telling the football program in a meeting, she can't be around anymore.

We don't want her around anymore.

She won't be around anymore.

And that message got out around the program.

And simultaneous to that has been the hiring of a PR guy who is very notably

very different from Jordan Hudson, guy who used to work for the Bears, actually.

Guy who used to

like a legit, just like

totally normal, like competent guy who's, I presume, I haven't spoken to him, Brandon Faber, right?

I, yeah, he's, he's very, very, like, he's very good at his job.

Yeah.

And I think one of the ways you can be good at your job is to just remember that, like, oh, wait a minute, Bill Balichek loves football.

And the more he talks about football and the less that he has to talk about Jordan Hudson, the better.

And so everybody behind the scenes has, and this is from his family to his inner circle, right?

So Matt Patricia, Josh McDaniels, Mike Lombardi, those guys who did nothing, by the way, to stop Jordan Hudson from basically running the show behind the scenes.

Everybody is now finally like, oh my God, we have our opening to finally make sure that the thing that she was, which is CC'd on every single email at Carolina by Belichick's request, that's what the foyer records were by the New York Times and The Athletic, which they did scoop me on.

And I am still irritated that I didn't get those emails.

But that stuff, they're undoing that piece by piece.

And

saying, um, she's off to the side, that's a personal relationship, right?

That is very different from the statement after the CBS thing, in which, of course, Jordan and Bill released a statement saying we have a personal and professional relationship.

And the UN's key part has always been: wait a minute, does this mean Belichick Productions or does this mean Carolina football?

Because Carolina football is the place where everybody's terrified that this is undoing

the whole notion of hiring Bill Belichick in the the first place.

So this is at its core a very relatable story in that everyone knows a friend who maybe had a significant other who they didn't really approve of, but you can't be the guy who says, hey, I don't like your girlfriend or I don't like your boyfriend because you know that that will just drive a wedge in your friendship with them.

And now that all this has come out, they finally have their opening to be like, hey.

just like we've been thinking this for a while and now we can act on it.

Yes, it's the equivalent of like one day, you know, the

hopefully future ex-girlfriend of your best friend, she sends a text, and you're like, I think we have our way in to start the conversation that all of us have been too afraid to talk about.

Like, right.

And instead of one text, it's been a series of public interviews and behind-the-scenes disasters that have followed her.

And again, the whole thing about why is she so bad, I want to make clear.

I don't think she's like a super villain.

I don't think any of that.

I just think she's a deeply ambitious young person that weirdly, like the parallel, the most generous parallel I can give her is that it's as if your friend started dating like Mark Zuckerberg one day, and that guy just thought he knew how to do everything.

And the unintended consequences of what he was building ended up costing a lot of people their sanity.

And I think that there is just a there's an ambition here without a knowledge of how the industries she's trying to take over

works.

And that has been something that people have been repeatedly repeatedly saying.

It's like Bill Belichick has become a vehicle for her ambitions, for everything that she's just like channeling everything that she thinks she knows about the world through Bill, who has a big presence already.

And so now she's got a big platform with which to make these mistakes that maybe somebody just starting in the industry might make on a low-key basis.

And she's

and she's and she's very driven and successful and well-read.

And philosophers.

There's a lot of people out there who are very intimidated by motivated women.

And also the whole part about asking about her age, Pablo, I think that's a little uncouth.

Yeah, that we said that.

I don't know if you heard that part, but that actually is illegal.

You never ask a woman's age, so jail for you.

I did feel checkmated.

It is weird for me to feel checkmated on wokeness by you guys, but I do feel checkmated on that.

Well, that's us.

That's us.

I did have a question.

I asked this on the last podcast because it just occurred to me.

With the timeline of everything, is there a chance that she had anything to do with Bill not getting any nfl jobs yeah um it's a really good question and so the time and this is

this is this is this is um truly a good question uh the reason why the reason why uh it's relevant to me is because i have been thinking about how to confirm just the timeline of when they started dating and so you know when big cat is asking like uh isn't this kind of like you have a friend who has this this significant other that you don't like and are afraid to say so um the other parallel question i have from real life is like when when did Bill Belichick DTR?

Like, when did he, how do you, how does one define the relationship with Bill Belichick?

Because what I can tell you is that people started seeing Jordan Hudson in Bill Belichick's.

So there are these outdoor seats he has, not in a box, but in Gillette, like out in the end zone.

I think it's Section 120, although not reporting that.

I'm just, that's what I have been told to section 120-ish.

And in November 2021, Jordan Hudson was sitting there.

And so, again, but is that is that

having DTR'd?

Is that just like, oh, a guest, a friend?

Like, are they friends with any degree of whatever?

Like, I don't know, but I just know that it happened very soon after, actually, they met on that plane in February 2021 in terms of her showing up around the Patriots, actually.

So this was definitely during his NFL tenure in a quite noticeable way.

Did she design that stupid fucking lighthouse at Gillette?

It wouldn't shock me if she was behind.

I don't like your tone.

If she was behind that fake lighthouse, no, but then it would be a work of art.

Yeah, if you know the motivation behind it, then you can truly understand the story behind the lighthouse.

But as it stands, it's just a piece of kitsch.

But if we knew that she was involved, then you truly understand.

You begin to see the depth of the artist's brain behind it.

She does love a nautical theme, you know?

Not reporting that he does love fishermen and stuff, so I'm just saying.

Yeah.

What's up?

PFT pointed this out the other day on our group text, and I did see, I think the New York Post might have reported about it.

What's up with the ring camera stuff?

So there was the famous Bill Belichick leaving a house, farting in a ring camera, and then there was an article I read yesterday that was like, the family is now worried that

how did this get out and who might have leaked this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I think I might be the person who inspired the sort of like dominoes of aggregation that got to you guys on the family being worried about this video.

So the video, I think, for most people,

got to be a thing because of the Tom Brady roast.

So, the Netflix roast, Tom Brady makes a joke around how his favorite ring is actually the ring camera video, Belichick, like shirtless, wandering around on a porch somewhere in presumably Massachusetts.

The pieces then were reported, I think, by the Daily Mail or something.

It's hard to keep track, but like it was identified as like this is outside of Jordan Hudson's home.

It's important to realize, though, that the video first got released on the internet

in 2023.

yep so this was way before even i was really aware of the story or tracking it and we reported on it in 2023 yeah yeah we we broke that yeah well well then the question i have for you guys is um you know logically speaking how would one get that video right that that's what i was thinking i i just i was driving home from work i texted the guys i was like do we think that that she released that video And if so, why would what would her angle be?

And the only angle I could think of, and what we know about Jordan, would be that maybe she was pressuring Bill to be public with the relationship.

The worries that have been expressed on the Belichick family side, I think, should be a little more specific here because just imagine, forget about the parallel.

It's like you and your friend, who's like roughly your age, dating some woman who is just a nightmare in some ambiguous fashion.

Think about if now it's your dad

and he's almost 70 and he's hanging around with some people who love being online, who are in their mid, really early 20s.

And there's this video that shows up in which your dad is shirtless.

Like the first question I have is not,

wow, that's, that's, how did that, I mean, really, it's not even how did that get out there?

It's what other videos are there?

Right.

Right.

And who has access?

And so the question is, like, look, is that I don't know.

So one of the, one of the, I'll confess to you a bit about how my reporting process goes because I get this video, the ring camera video, and I'm like, I, i don't have a good way of like nailing down geographically like whose house this even is even if it's been identified by various tabloids as jordan hudson's house and i don't want to take that for for fact um so what i did before i logged on here is i emailed uh the manager of that guy uh rainbolt who's the the geo booster guy yeah he's incredible And so I'm hoping if Rainbolt listens to this, please respond to your manager's email.

I kind of need you to solve a mystery.

Like, where was this camera?

Who had access to it?

And again, the nightmare for me, purely hypothetically, is she's got some friends.

Again, like, if your friend was dating Bill Belichick and you didn't know how serious it was, do you think you would maybe get some images or video sent to you privately of Bill Belichick?

That would be the question that I think any decent son, daughter, nephew, niece would ask about their 70-year-old relative.

Yeah, and again, it does feel feel like a lot for somebody that's Jordan's age to deal with all this stuff.

So I'm not saying it's definitely her that released it.

She could have sent that to her friends.

She's like, no idea.

I'm dating Bill.

And they're like, no, you're not.

And they're like, yeah, this is him leaving the house the other day.

And then that's how it gets out.

That's a possibility.

I just don't think that I don't like the idea of Bill Belichick around secret cameras.

That's not the Belichick way.

That's not the same guy.

Definitely not.

Yeah.

Listen, and we should say

all the stuff that Jordan has on her plate right now, it's actually impressive.

Like, I don't know how she does it, but she does.

She does.

And she stays looking good too while she does it.

Yeah.

How does this end, Pablo?

June 1st is the date that I think is the first sort of crossroads, right?

And so Belichick, as we speak here, having just said, off to the side, personal relationship, she's not in any way associated with UNC football.

De facto sort of confirming that the side of the power struggle that has said we need her to be in the background for PR reasons, if nothing else, that side seems to be winning.

And so the June 1st date, which was always about this, by the way, it was weird before all of this, right?

The buy clause going from $10 million to 10 times less than that.

Like,

why would that be?

Well, presumably, it was because Bill wanted an out clause for the NFL.

Now, it seems like that is an out-clause in case he wasn't really in charge in the way that he demanded to be in charge.

And so, him publicly going along with this now and saying, listening to everybody in his life, seemingly, but Jordan Hudson, and saying, okay, she's not involved.

That means that June 1st, if we're reading the tea leaves here, is less of a

red button being pressed, sort of like this is all going to fall apart immediately.

But looking ahead to the summer, right?

Like, you guys know how college football works.

They're getting out, they're getting out of town, right?

It's the summer, like, no one's really around the building.

Like, recruiting, sure, is still going on.

But the whole question is, while everybody is off minding their own devices, literal and figurative in the case of Jordan Hudson and our theories, is anything else going to happen that would demand some other bit of public crisis management?

And if the answer is no, I think that week one, him being the coach there, totally makes sense.

But just historically speaking, in a very short amount of time,

really, this statement from Belichick at the ACC meetings, in which he said, off to the side, personal, not involved with UNC in any way, is the first time he's really said that.

And so if that is the mode, I think this is a lot calmer, but it's also also the first time we've heard it.

And I've seen a lot of the pendulum swinging towards a lot of people being panicked behind the scenes.

It's going to be crazy once they get to the ACC Coaches Day, where the media gets to ask questions of everybody.

Like Bill Belichick sitting in front of a group of reporters, it's going to be huge, and they're going to be asking a lot of questions about her.

He's not going to lie.

He might, if I was Belichick, you know what I'd do?

I just open the book on Deflate Gate.

at that point.

I'd just be like, I'm only here to talk about throwing some red meat in the other direction.

The ideal gas slot.

Does anyone talk about the ideal gas law yeah let's revisit all the stuff i never wanted to talk to you about or you can just ask about long snappers and we'll talk for like five minutes about that too so uh yeah i mean this is a crazy story thank you for uh for your journalism journalisms on it journalistisms yep what would you what would you say hank journalismist

yeah journalismists yeah we appreciate we appreciate the service that you did there do you have any questions for pablo hank no he doesn't want to be no you guys you guys are doing a good job okay man thanks team jordan does Max have a question?

I just max you had a question for for Babo?

I think you're doing a flawless job

That's that's pretty impressive Max you remain team Jordan

Yep, yes,

I have one last question Cracker Barrel is home to all the more country anytime that means buttermilk pancakes whenever you want them homemade classics like chicken and dumplings and a country store full of fun finds swing by and visit cracker barrel today

In your reporting,

and again, everyone go watch and listen to the episode.

It was released on Friday.

Pablo finds out.

What Pablo Torrey finds out is the official name of the podcast.

Has there ever been someone from Jordan's camp that has reached out to you?

Has anyone said, hey, what are you doing?

I have requested comment from North Carolina.

No response.

I've requested, I mean, 40 different FOIAs, which got annoying.

So I apologize to acting to Carolina on that.

It got to be just a bit.

They replied to none of them.

I emailed Jordan Hudson at an address, her email that I got that I know is hers.

No response.

The balichek camp, obviously,

him personally, no response.

If this is our long way of saying,

you know, Jordan Hudson, I am looking to maybe have you.

Maybe we can do a joint interview with her.

Maybe.

yeah, we'll take her side.

We'll be behind the scenes sitting in chairs being like, don't answer that question.

She's actually our boss now.

You probably heard that part.

Yeah.

She's our boss.

Wait, wait.

Interview in which we recreate the CBS Sunday morning interview, but you guys are Jordan and she is built.

We're her.

Yes.

That's how much we care about her.

Yeah.

I mean, she is our boss, though, for probably Cheese Day.

We're deeply ambitious people, Pablo, and she is the perfect vehicle for us to channel all this energy that we have into.

So, yeah, we're happy to do that.

Oh, my God.

If she she does, I promise to tell the geo-guesser Rainbow guy to stop looking for that house.

Oh, I mean, that's credit to you.

That's an ingenious way of trying to figure out exactly where that house is located.

That guy's an expert.

That guy could testify.

By the way, so we think that guy is just like on the up and up, right?

Because I've also been like, I don't know how this works.

I just have no evidence that this is.

No, he's really good.

It would ruin me if he wasn't.

Yeah.

He's really, really good at it.

So

I think I got that.

And there are people I've seen.

We have some people in this office who are very good, accomplished geo-guessers.

So I know that it is a skill that you can hone and like, whether it be architecture, trees, the sun, all this stuff.

Yeah, types of grass.

You can study cement and figure it out that way.

Yeah, it's the indoor stuff.

Sometimes he's at a mall, and he's like, oh, this mall is in Nairobi.

And I'm like,

how does.

Photographic memory.

I do have one more question for you.

I had one issue with the reporting.

You spoke with somebody that said that Jordan is, what was the exact term that you used?

The worst person I've ever met, and I've worked with sociopaths.

Yeah, I want to fight that.

Something along those lines.

Has this person ever met Josh McDaniels?

Good question.

It might be Josh McDaniels, actually, because he would be the only person in that circle that could say that.

He doesn't have any mirrors in his house.

Yeah.

I guess

for journalismistic reasons, I cannot actually answer that question.

Okay.

My goal for how this ends is we get Jordan on and you just like pull your hair out listening to us be like, Yes, Queen.

Yeah, we just

don't ask her any questions.

All softballs.

How do you do it, Jordan?

Yeah.

How do you work so hard and look so glamorous?

First question.

Yeah.

My response to that would be to immediately go and buy a bottle of Plavak Mali Tweed Molly.

Wait, read us that review again, the two strawberry.

Yeah, I I mean, look, so lovely, so perfect, so summery, so red, so strawberry, so refreshing, so lightly acidic, so watermelon, so strawberry, so lovely.

So enjoy it.

Five stars.

So enjoy it.

When we get back to strawberry, that's when I really want it.

I got one more question for you.

Just something, you know, out of curiosity, I don't know if you came across any of this while you were interviewing people.

Do you any details about their love life?

Oh, man.

Look, I don't have journalistic

speaking.

I don't have those specific details.

What I can tell you, though, is that when it comes to how Jordan Hudson's sort of, and again, not yucking any yums, like her point of view on the spectrum of human love, I think is probably maybe helpfully expressed by a certain museum and shop that her mom, Lee Hudson, operates as the business manager in Provincetown, Massachusetts.

And I don't really know how it is that this keeps happening, but this is an episode that also contains a detail around a 20,000, now just want to get the math right, a 28,000-year-old dildo

in that museum.

And I keep on having to be the guy to say, I don't have the answers to that, but I can point you in a direction where it would suggest that there's a great spectrum of possibility in terms of the answer.

Bill is a

student of history.

Yeah.

Loves history.

He does.

He does.

Pablo, by the way,

if your next

investigation is going to be how the NBA rigged the lottery for the Mavs, we are happy to talk on record.

We realized afterwards we were invited.

We got credentials.

They showed us the room.

They gave us a free buffet.

And then we walked out and we realized that they just used us, which

if you give us credentials and free food,

we'll carry water for anyone.

So we were used last night as pawns, and we're dumb.

We're very dumb.

What I would ask you guys is the next time you are accidentally invited backstage into what might be a journalistically explosive room,

just text me, and I'll be like, hey, maybe you guys should stay.

I could be your ombudsman, maybe

if you wanted.

Because now

I'm mad that we don't actually have the answer to that question.

Well, the problem was PFT and I started pulling out cash and they're like, all right, tour's over.

They looked the outdoor cat inside and they quickly realized we still got our claws and they're like you got to get this guy out of the room Ernst and young guy is over here looking over their shoulder.

Yeah, if there's an inappropriate joke to be made We're gonna make it and then have you know quietly be told that hey, this is time to go to the buffet guys.

We will be witnesses though.

I mean we we were there.

We saw it in person.

I'm sorry.

I saw it in person.

This is rigged for money.

Yeah, it just is.

I once talked to David Falk, Michael Jordan's, of course, former super agent about, because he was also Ewing's agent.

And I asked him about the whole like frozen envelope theory and the Michael Jordan retirement because of gambling stuff.

And what David Falk told me was, number one, the Jordan stuff is total bullshit.

That doesn't make any sense.

But number two, the frozen envelope thing, he was like,

yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, it does.

Yeah.

It does.

And what happened last night makes a lot of sense.

Makes a lot of sense.

It really does.

But it's still fucking bullshit.

And we'll look into it too.

Yeah.

We'll let you know what we find out because I would trust your reporting on this.

Yeah.

I think we should collaborate on an investigation.

Yeah.

Okay.

Chiefs of Holics in jail.

So that one's kind of yeah, we have to cross it.

I'm sure that there's some, there's some theories that we've been working on behind the scenes.

Well, we could do, we could do, I mean, look, far be it from me to overstep my bounds as a first-time guest, but long-time AWL, if I may call myself that, which is a real unilateral decision.

I'm just saying,

I've always been interested in the lost footage around Barstool Van Talk.

And I may or may not know a guy who may or may not have been involved in that backstage decision, and I may or may not be somebody who actually wants to see that happen.

Episode two, just saying that episode two is another bit of a piece of footage that maybe there's something there.

Yeah, yeah, we'll see.

I mean, it might have just been a long, a long joke on us by John Skipper.

It didn't actually.

John Skipper didn't turn the camera on for that one.

Yeah, it was the predecessor for Nathan for You.

It was jackass.

John Skipper's like, all right, these guys totally think they're making a show.

We're going to cancel after one week.

I'm waiting for the John Skipper, Nathan for You episode to come out for Crystal Vanton.

These guys thought they had a show.

That'd be great.

All right.

Well, Pablo, thank you so much.

We appreciate it.

And now that you've been a recurring guest, you got to come back on whenever we ask.

So it will happen soon.

I hesitate to imagine what my life is going to be like in general going forward.

So anytime.

Yeah.

Appreciate it.

I also wonder if Jordan, Michael Jordan, has met Jordan.

Oh, boy.

The UMC connection.

Yeah, Jordan Jordan.

The most ambitious crossover of all time.

Ryan Jordan is a meme that is available for someone to not for our queen.

No way.

Not for us.

All right.

Thanks, Pablo.

Thank you, guys.

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Okay, let's wrap up.

We got guys on chicks.

Hank?

Yep.

Guys on chicks.

So I heard about you guys doing Scroll Talks, which is Botox for your balls.

What's your take on this?

I heard about guys.

Can I give you a little bit of a guy?

Can I get you guys

a little bit of a song?

Can I give you another little bit of stuff?

And would you do this to keep things nice and tight?

My husband claims he has no idea what that is, but I'm not sure if he's lying or not to save face.

Hank, so in the interest of our listeners out there, because first and foremost, we care about the listeners.

Can we try that with a little more energy?

Just be Hank.

We've already hashed it all out.

Yeah, we're all good.

We moved on.

So, I heard about guys doing Scrotox, which is Botox for your balls.

What's your take on this?

Did you do this to keep things nice and tight?

I personally don't care what my scrotum looks like.

I don't either.

Do girls care what scrotums look like?

I feel like girls know that balls are weird.

Yeah.

Like, balls are just weird.

The male body is weird.

Breaking news.

Like, guys want to see girls' boobs.

I don't think girls want to see guys balls.

Yeah, they're not like, oh shit, what a pair of balls you got on you.

Yeah, the female body is beautiful.

It's curvy, it's artistic, it's smooth, it's wonderful to look at.

The male body is just absolutely disgusting.

They don't want to see B.

No.

No, they do not want to see B.

They don't want to see plain B.

A little bit of D,

not a lot of B,

probably not any of the A.

I just think that women would probably be cool with it if our balls were inside our bodies.

If we just had internal balls, they'd be fine with that.

They wouldn't like miss them.

Yeah.

Balls are meant to show other guys.

Right.

Yeah.

It's way cooler to show your boys your balls than anything else.

Absolutely.

And so under this, like, do not get Scrotox because if you got Scrotox and showed your boys your Scrotox balls, everyone would be like, dude, what the fuck are those?

Balls are for humor.

Which ball hangs lower for you guys?

My left.

My left as well.

Is it always left?

Oh, I didn't know that.

I think everyone's left ball is bigger than their right.

Is that true?

I don't know.

My left definitely does.

Yeah, mine is left.

That's crazy.

I thought it was like kind of a,

you know, everyone's different, left or right.

I think maybe if you're left-handed, does your right ball hang lower?

Maybe.

In most individuals, the right testicle is slightly larger than the left.

What?

So we're abnormal?

Well, no, I don't think that matters about hanging lower.

Yeah, I don't think it's just gravity.

I would think that it's heavier.

Wait, are we all wrong?

You're looking up

testicle being bigger.

Yeah, which one is it hanging?

We're talking about hanging.

I will say, this scrotex looks kind of lit.

You're looking at scrotex balls right now, me?

No, no, no, the definition.

Oh.

Lead to smoother,

potentially larger appearing, and reduces sweat.

Reducing sweat is a good sell.

Yeah, that's good.

Can I get scrotex for like my grundle?

That's where the sweat is the problem.

All right, so the left tangs lower for most people.

Is there anyone out there who has right?

That's kind of weird.

I don't know.

That's like a unicorn.

The reason, the reason the difference is.

Max is checking right now, by the way.

Max is literally checking.

I watched that move.

He's checking his balls.

The difference is the reason in the spermatic cord for most guys.

I didn't know we had a spermatic cord.

Yeah.

Is that just like the thing that it hangs on?

The rope?

Yeah, I don't understand any of that.

Yeah, so don't worry.

I never understood.

I always was very confused, even still am as a 40-year-old man.

Like,

how do you pee and piss out of the same hole?

How do you come and piss out of the same hole?

I do find it amazing,

though, that guys are just like, you know, what's really good?

You know what could impress chicks is if my balls were

less wrinkly.

Like,

it's not going to work.

There's a little, there's a little,

there's two holes?

A little bridge in the middle.

There's not two holes.

There's one hole, Hank.

Do you have two holes?

Do you think there are are two holes?

You have two holes.

But he just.

I don't know if that was a joke.

As soon as Hank said two holes.

Yeah, I stopped.

That's the answer for girls.

That's the answer for girls.

That is true.

The girls do have two holes.

But it's part of the one larger apparatus.

Do you have two holes?

Do you have two holes?

I'll double-check, but I'm pretty positive I got one hole.

Okay, it sounds like you're a two-hole guy.

You have an in-hole and an out-hole?

I got two side holes.

Yeah, it sounds like you got holes.

Like a supernova.

Like a Trump trumpet?

I think that's the little Dickie thing.

Oh, yeah.

From the show.

Yeah.

Hey, Kenny Stone boys.

Come on, come on.

Not worried about the Celtics.

Hank, double vacation, Max.

I'm having an issue with a fellow at AWL who keeps ghosting me.

I met this guy on Hinge a couple years ago.

We went out on one date.

I thought it went well, and we had bonded over our love for PMT, but I didn't hear from him again after that.

Last summer, he liked me again on Hinge, but I didn't really take the bait.

Then, last week, he liked me again, but this time his opener was joking about Max at the White House, so I couldn't resist.

After a couple days of messaging and seemingly hit it off, he's gone ghost again.

What's this guy's deal?

Dude, get it together.

What is he doing?

Yeah,

I don't know.

Ghosting has like a pretty wide definition these days, I feel like.

Back in the day before Hinge, like people just kind of stop talking sometimes.

It was no big deal, but you have like one conversation with somebody and then you stop.

Then it's like a big thing.

Like, oh, I got ghosted.

You have to establish, I think, a pattern of actually talking before you can actually be ghosted, right?

Yeah, but it sounds like they're talking.

Not anymore.

But they were, and then he just went, and he's done this a couple times.

I think he's just a serial ghoster.

Get it together, dude.

You're putting a bad name on AWLs.

Like, we'll go to this wedding.

I'm going to pass.

No, no.

Max will hedge.

Max will go to this wedding.

I'm happy that I was involved in a pickup line.

That's pretty cool.

That is pretty cool.

I mean, here's what you do.

Just send him the clip of this conversation right now.

Yeah.

And be like, hey, just respond to her.

Shit or get off the pot.

And we will send, I'll say it this way.

We will send a representative of Pard My Take to the wedding.

Hey, dude, she wants to bang.

Yeah.

She can't be any.

She wants to bang so bad that she wrote into a podcast to ask for advice on how to get to bang you.

What do you think the face on these two lovebirds who are going to end up getting married and having a beautiful life together, what do you think their face is going to say when Shane walks into their wedding?

We give him a PMT pin.

Well, we sent our representative.

What are you going to do?

He's got a GoPro on, like, he's live streaming like a surrogate.

We couldn't send Shane because he would totally dick down the bride.

Same with Pug.

Yeah.

Maybe Wiper can go.

Okay.

My husband, 27, and I, 28, have been together for seven years and have lived together for six of them.

We have two kids.

He works full-time and I stay home with the kids.

For as long as we've lived together, he's only ever done his laundry sporadically, and other times I am the one doing it.

My question is, do all guys wait so long to do their laundry that they end up having to wear shorts as underwear or no underwear at all because they've simply worn all of their underwear but won't do their laundry?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

That's a fact.

And

jeans, sweatshirts, those can be re-worn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, if you're putting on jeans without underwear, then now we're talking emergency.

Yeah.

That shouldn't happen at that age.

I've discovered that my building has a laundry room, and it's changed my life.

Because I can just do like five loads of laundry at once.

That's a massive, massive win.

How long did it take you?

What do you mean?

To find out that your building had a laundry room.

Wait,

you have in unit, though.

Yeah, but my dryer sucks.

It takes twice as long to dry than to wash.

You can't really get in a...

You've cleaned it out?

No, it's just like the time thing.

Are you sure you've cleaned it out?

It has nothing to do with cleanliness of dryer.

It's just like the lint trap.

Have you cleaned out the lint trap?

Yeah, it's the lint trap.

You don't know about the lint trap.

Oh, no.

We've done this before.

Have you taken out the lint?

Yes.

Okay.

That's not the issue.

Is there another filter?

It's when you click normal start, it says like hour, like whatever, hour 20.

And the regular laundry washer takes 45 minutes.

It can't really get into that.

Yeah, that's every.

It's usually like 45 and 60, whatever.

But that is every

dryer, it does take longer to dry than to wash.

This is too, too long.

It doesn't matter.

I've solved the issue.

I recently made maybe the bougiest move that I've made.

Got a brand new drying and washing appliance.

You can't even keep your clothes, dude.

Yes, that's true.

That's valid.

I'm on a hot streak, though.

I re-upped on the wardrobe.

I got a steam closet, which is like a little, it looks like a portable closet that you have in your house.

And if you have something that you like to wear again, and it doesn't need a full wash, like a sweater or like sweatpants or jeans, you just hang it up in this thing for like 20 minutes and you hit a button and it steam cleans it and you don't even have to like wash it or dry it it's actually great that's awesome it's a great thing hank anything to say today about my blue shirt not black yeah looks good yeah looks like i'm doing different fashion yeah you're matching what's on your face what does that look for hank i just don't like you uh

i'm you know what hank i feel bad for you No, you're just not, you know, we get it.

You're rich.

Like, no one, no, no AWL is like, oh, yeah, classic steam clean.

I feel bad for you, Hank.

They're going to come at you like they came at me for saying that I wasn't surprised tickets were expensive in New York City.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, very upset.

Listen, I said, it's the bougiest purchase that I think I've ever made.

By the way,

I do think that there should be affordable tickets.

I just don't know how you can do that in the playoffs because tickets always get crazy.

Poor section.

Poor section.

Yeah.

Poor section.

And New York City is always.

I was thinking about it more.

I think.

I think people like to just judge New York City and be like, oh, there's no real fans there because the tickets are are always so crazy.

You know, where it's like, holy shit, the get-in price is $1,000 here.

And they're like, there's no real fans.

There's a lot of rich people in New York City.

Yeah, that is true.

It's a fact.

Like

the most in the country by far.

They should definitely have a call the party section.

No, it should be.

No, there should be a, like, it should be like college basketball.

There should be like a student section for NBA games where there's...

They're cheaper tickets, affordable tickets.

I'm all in for that.

I just don't know how to fix the other thing.

Hank, you had more guys guys on chicks.

Let's just do numbers.

Let's do it.

I want to do one more, Hank.

One more, one more.

Come on, Hank.

Come on.

One more time.

It's just the guys hanging out together.

Hey, Hank.

So sorry about being down 3-1 to Mr.

Bing Bong.

Anyways, my husband recently tours ACL and has decided to pick up golf for the first time in his life.

I supported this decision until it became his whole personality.

He golfs every Saturday now for hours and spends weeknights at the range or watching helpful tips on YouTube.

I feel like he is doing this as a way to not spend time with me.

He claims it's a way for him to enjoy sport without too much intensity on his knee.

What do I do?

Yeah, this guy fucked up.

It's hard to pick up the golf after.

Yeah.

You got to be the golfer when you meet your wife.

Anything that you want to do that you think you might want to try to do for the rest of your life, you should start before you get married.

I feel like he's doing this as a way to not spend time with me.

You're dramatic.

Yeah, no, he just loves golf.

If you want to put it a different way, like I don't think he's deliberately saying, I don't want to spend time with my wife.

I think what he is saying, and it's probably the truth, he loves golf more than you.

No, he just loves golf.

No, I mean, he loves golf more than, more than her.

At this point.

What if she decided to take up golf?

I'm sure he'd love that.

Actually, it wouldn't be.

Yeah, if she was decent.

Yeah.

Not cramping the style.

I don't even think it matters.

Like, it's just fun to get out there.

They just really need to figure out.

I wish golf courses were 12-holes.

That's what they need to figure out.

I wish they were 24.

Okay.

If a golf round was like a guaranteed two hours,

it'd be great.

Yeah, it is too long.

It is.

Because between driving out there, getting your practice swings in, playing golf, driving home, it's like eight hours.

Yeah.

You're looking at like a full day.

So Hanksy's no problem.

She might be like, yeah, he's just trying to get out of the house away from me for a full day.

Right.

What if you just learn how to play golf?

Yeah.

Like that, and then you guys could watch YouTube clips together.

Get better together.

Okay, good job, Hank.

Thanks.

Way to go.

Good job.

Numbers, three.

Hank, I like you.

Ah,

I'll go six.

It's not your fault.

Nixon.

Seven.

It's not your fault.

Nixon, seven?

Celtics and seven.

Oh, it's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

Numbers?

Shut up.

You didn't do anything.

Nine or nine put.

I have three.

44.

Good for you, man.

I hope three hits so fucking bad.

That would be so good, Hank.

I hope seven gets it.

Hank, I'll take one.

21.

I'll take 100.

Sawlers are going to win the series.

But if they don't, you're going to be able to get it.

I hope you're right.

61.

Love you guys.

44

was up there.

Even you had you, Jeff.

I even loved you, Hank.

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