NFL Week 2, Fastest 2 Minutes, The Bears Suck Again, The Giants/Cowboys Game Of The Day, Chiefs In Trouble? + Who's Back Of The Week
Were back for Week 2 of the NFL and we start with Fastest 2 Minutes. (00:00:00-00:09:03)
We then recap every game from Sunday
Lions 52, Bears 21 (00:09:03-00:26:25)
Bengals 31, Jaguars 27 (00:26:25-00:37:04)
Cowboys 40, Giants 37 (00:37:04-00:48:14)
49ers 26, Saints 21 (00:48:14-00:53:31)
Bills 30, Jets 10 (00:53:31-01:06:32)
Seahawks 31, Steelers 17 (01:06:32-01:13:02)
Patriots 33, Dolphins 27 (01:13:02-01:22:50)
Rams 33, Titans 19 (01:22:50- 01:27:44)
Ravens 41, Browns 17 (01:27:44-01:33:31)
Colts 29, Broncos 28 (01:33:31- 01:41:22)
Cardinals 27, Panthers 22 (01:41:22-01:45:42)
Eagles 20, Chiefs 17 (01:45:42-01:59:35)
Falcons 22, Vikings 6 (01:59:35-02:04:19)
We then finish with who's back of the week. (02:04:19-02:21:10).
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
Listen and follow along
Transcript
Hey, pardon my take, listeners.
You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
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On today's part of my take, week two in the NFL.
We're going to talk every game from Sunday.
The Bears suck.
The Cowboys and Giants played a thriller.
Russell Wilson might be back.
The Eagles beat the Chiefs in a Super Bowl rematch.
Does the NFL have a toe problem?
Does the NFL have a toe problem?
We have Fastest Two Minutes.
We have Who's Back of the Week.
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Today is Monday, September 15th.
week
two
rumbling and stumbling and
some spread
We start in Detroit where Dan Campbell is looking chunky and thinking soupy while his friend Bent Johnson is just trying to get his team upright and erect.
The Bears look good on their first drive as Rome wasn't built in a day.
Adunze scored.
A notable draft pick from Ryan.
Rebuilds weren't done in a day or a year or four years.
Polls.
Everything after that was all Lions as Brock Ryd, an Egyptian, scored to make it 21-7.
And Amon Ross St.
Brown goes.
Frazier landed the knockout blow as he scored not once, not twice, but three times on the way to a 50-burger.
The Bears are farther away from being back than they've ever been.
Lions 52, Bears 21.
What?
What?
In Cincinnati, Toburro went down with an injury, leaving Rex Ryan disgusted.
Toburrow is ironically Rex Ryan's best move in the bedroom, boom.
I get a teach.
Very good teach.
The game money to watch as Jamar Chase Bank and Travis ATM both found pay dirt in a back and forth affair.
Based all Putin showed signs of Russian aggression in a special Jackson military experiment, But Liam Ice Cream Cone fell short of the 31 flavors of points he needed as Drake Browning is a certified coverboy, leading the Bengals to a game-winning touchdown drive as time expired.
Bengals 31, the Jaguars 27.
In Pittsburgh, Caleb Presley Johnson is going to need a Sunday conversation with Mike Tomlin after walking away from a kickoff and giving up an easy touchdown to the Seahawks.
Tori Horton hears a boo after scoring, and Kenneth Brandon Walker said, Why are you hollering to the black and gold crowd after running through the battered Pittsburgh defense?
Tough news for Joe Rogan podcast listeners, as it doesn't look like Rodgers will be going to Austin much in the future after Calvin caused an interception in the end zone that swung the game.
Seattle 31, Pittsburgh 17.
Down to New Orleans, we're Mac in the saddle again.
We're Mac in the saddle again.
As Jones is back to being QB1, a four-year dream for Kyle Shanahan realized.
Luke Cracker-Farrell said it doesn't matter that we're missing fan favorites like Kittle and Purdy.
That logo is still the same.
Spencer Frattler hazed Alvin Kamara during rush week, handing him the ball 21 times against the Niners defense.
Thank you, sir.
May I have another loss as the Saints don't go marching.
Niners 26.
Saints 21.
We go down to Miami now, where Henry Lockwood was on the scene for the Patriots big win.
Thanks, Boom.
Yes, we're down to Miami.
Trizzy Drake Bay got the scoring starter when he connected with fellow heel, Mac Trill Hollins, and had the Patriots smocking up seven.
Keyshawn, Keyshung, Keyshung, Keyshawn, Keyshawn, Keyshawn.
Booty was rocking everywhere after scoring.
But unfortunately, Andre Aurora Barogalalis missed PATs on both touchdowns because he's a horrible kicker with a bad number and an arm sleeve and an ass towel, even though he's a kicker.
But I digress.
In the third quarter, Malik George Washington crossed the Delaware River and could go all the way.
This is a fourth quarter, not a third quarter, for a punt return touchdown to give the Dolphins a fourth quarter lead.
On the ensuing kickoff, Antonio Tyrese Gibson said, stop trying to catch me, cuh.
And he could go all the way.
And so could Mike Rabel to the house to give the lead right back to the Patriots.
Dolphins, 27.
New England, 33.
That was a very European way to read the score there, Boom.
Thanks, Boom.
I didn't want to say Patriots twice in a row.
All right, we're sticking the AFC East back up to the Meadowlands for memes.
In MetLife, Josh Allen is going to feel hungover tomorrow after taking a punch from Michael Roger Clemens, who thought Josh's nose was the ball.
The Bills made sure to run CD formation for Elijah.
Give me, give me more touchdowns, that is, while James Chef Cook said, hello there, children, as he made the Jets' defense look like a Pee Wee football team.
Joey laid both of his nuts across the Jets' forehead with a sack and force fumble.
And breaking news, just in.
Fields might be ass, Teach.
Oh, no.
Bills 30, Jets 10.
That's terrible news, Boom.
We go to Indy, where Shane's stipend is playing with house money as Jonathan Taylor Ham was running a pig skin up and down the field to the tune of 165.
Bo Nixalot threw some buttermilk biscuits to his receivers and Troy Franklin Delano Roosevelt proved his legs still work scoring and hauling in 89 yards.
The Colts looked like they were fried but they ordered seconds of Schrader Tots as a penalty let them put extra mustard on it as the Colts played catch-up winning the game as the clock expired.
Colts 29.
The Broncos 28.
And now we go to the game of the week where Max was there in Arrowhead.
We head over to Kansas City where it's another year of say prawn Barkley making opposing defenses look like shrimp as he once again dominated the run game.
Andrew Makuba Uba got a five-star rating after he took a pick for a ride while Travis Kelsey Swift was saying, don't blame me.
Love made me lazy after dropping a no-doubt touchdown.
Jalen MakeUBut Hurts had everyone crying for throwing less than 100 yards, but everyone should shut their ass up because they fucking won the game.
Eagle 20, Chief 17.
Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down the shore.
Such a fine sight to see.
Eating dubs like they were snickers till they ran into a kicker by the name of Brandon Aubrey.
Another dad
win.
This game was massion.
and all the giant fans just want Jackson.
Cowboys 40, Giants 37.
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Okay, week two in the books.
It was a hell of a Sunday, boys.
We had some crazy action.
Can't stress enough how much it sucks to do the nine games early, three games late, the NFL.
Just figure it out.
Figure it the fuck out.
It was just too much chaos going on and then not tapering us off in a successful way.
And also knowing that we've got two games Monday night.
I know.
It's inexcusable.
I don't want to complain about football, but it is like, but it's just a crazy...
We have 12 games.
Just give them to us.
correctly.
Yeah, yeah.
Like it's like when you leave a pet at home.
Yeah.
You're going to eat all the food and you're going to feel bad afterwards.
It's loading.
We're the pets.
You need to make sure that we have a spaced spaced-out Sunday afternoon so we don't get full on football earlier.
Like, we're going to be plenty full after the first late.
Just give us one more game in the afternoon.
It's loading up on the wedding appetizers.
Yeah.
And then sitting down and being like, shit, this actually was a good dinner.
Why did I eat a thousand bacon-wrapped scallops?
But sometimes it is awesome to just do an appetizer dinner.
Dude, I do that every single time.
I fucking stand outside the door.
Yeah.
Like, I'm standing outside where they come out, so I just get it fresh right before it's like
untouched appetizer platter.
Yeah.
That's best.
That's great.
Sometimes I just do a dips dinner where I get like four different kinds of dips.
And then that's basically the same thing as just getting too full and then not having any room for dinner, except you get way too full and you don't have a dinner.
But it didn't feel like dinner.
Yeah.
All right.
I pretty much skipped.
I ate healthy today.
We got the Vikings and the Falcons in a field goal fest, which we will update after we do all the games.
Doesn't look like the same game as we watched Bill's Ravens Sunday Night Football week one.
Question, though, are we falling for the J.J.
McCarthy trap again?
Because I think that he might have Tebow adjacent qualities about him.
I don't think he's as bad as Tebow was.
Obviously, he's good at times, but this is kind of what J.J.
does.
He gets everybody saying that he sucks, and then he starts playing really good.
And he's also got his defense playing Ben Don't Break perfectly.
That's all JJ.
Yep.
That's J.J.
McCarthy.
That's leadership.
Yeah.
All right, let's get into it.
Let's start with
the band-aid.
Lions, 52, Bears, 21.
I want to start with the Lions because I don't want to just not mention how good the Lions looked because they looked so fucking good.
They were
everything that we thought week one.
Oh, no, they're going to have problems.
Their offensive line, their new coordinator, basically erased.
Jared Goff played perfect football.
He was 23 for, or sorry, yeah, 23 for 28, five touchdown passes.
I don't think he got sacked once.
The Lions had 511 yards, 52 points on 58 plays.
52 points on 58 plays.
They almost scored a point a play.
It's crazy.
It's insane.
They were doing it all.
They were doing the Amon Ralph St.
Brown was just feasting three touchdowns, the big shot to J-Mo.
Everything, everything worked for them.
They ran for 177.
They passed for 334.
The Lions looked absolutely fine, like the team that we've come to expect the last two years.
That was put to rest.
Yeah, I mean, they looked unstoppable.
Their offense looked awesome.
Their defense looked pretty good, too, at times.
They kind of rubbed it in your face a little bit with that one turnover where they did the Ben Johnson celebration, where they did the fumble play, fake fumble play that Jared Goff ran last year.
They had that planned out as a celebration to use against the Bears.
It did feel a little bit personal.
That's okay.
I knew that the Lions were going to win this game when Dan Campbell said, we have to win this game.
Yeah.
He talked himself into a lather.
And when Dan Campbell's desperate, that's a man you don't want to fuck with.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so, you know, I mean, listen, the Lions, they kick the shit out of the Bears.
They're going to do a celebration.
They're going to enjoy it.
I'm sure it wasn't, like, super personal because Ben Johnson and Dan Campbell, Dan Campbell said he's still my friend, but yeah,
they wanted to show that they're fine without him.
Did Dan Campbell say that or did Ben Johnson say it?
I think Dan Campbell said it before.
Okay, so they're confirmed both friends.
Both friends.
Both friends.
But yeah, I'm sure there's a chip on the shoulder for the Lions guys to be like, hey, we're not just Ben Johnson.
We're a really good team otherwise.
And they proved it.
It was an ass kicking.
Now, I thought that there were some things that you could take away from it if you want some takeaways, some positive takeaways.
I don't want positive takeaways.
I don't want any positive takeaways.
Do you want one?
No, this team sucks.
This team sucks.
This organization sucks.
The only
Roma Dunze was good.
Yep, that was going to be my positive takeaway.
Caleb wasn't the main problem.
Notice how I phrased that.
He still didn't like.
It wasn't like he lit the world on fire, but I wouldn't say he was the main problem.
The defense has now given up
694 yards and 73 points in the last five quarters of football.
That's impossible.
It's hard to do.
And the main culprit is Ryan Poles because we are now in year four of a rebuild.
And you guys probably didn't see this, but it was obviously big for Bears fans and on Bears' Twitter.
In this game, Ryan Pohl's top 10 pick, tight end, Colson Loveland, had zero receptions.
His second round pick, wide receiver Luther Burden, had zero receptions.
His second round offensive tackle pick was a healthy scratch.
His second round defensive tackle was a healthy scratch.
It's absolutely abysmal.
Year four of a rebuild, and they're somehow worse
after Ryan Paul's had two number one picks.
Obviously, he traded one of them.
A ton of shots at it.
He did the press conference when he got hired and said, we're going to take the North and give it back.
He is now 3-17 versus the NFC North.
3-17 versus NFC North.
It's absolutely a joke.
And I feel bad for Ben Johnson because he inherited this and he probably, you know, $13 million, a lot of money, but he probably is looking around and being like, fuck, this is a mess.
Just quick fact check.
Luther Burden, I'm seeing that he had one reception
for five yards.
Okay, so he had one reception.
Great.
So, yeah, Colson Loveland.
That was probably when the game lasted 17 hours.
I think it was still going on
when the Chiefs and Eagles kicked off.
The game was still going on after the Giants and the Cowboys finished
in overtime.
It was pretty crazy.
And they went to zero in overtime.
The clock struck zero.
This game was still happening.
I don't know why it lasted that long.
Colson Loveland, I think, is going to be a fine player.
Well, it doesn't help that Tyler Warren looks awesome.
Yeah, he does.
He looks really good.
Ryan Poles has not had a single Pro Bowler drafted.
That's pretty crazy.
That's pretty hard to do.
And he's had a lot of tie picks.
I agree that Caleb Williams was not the problem.
He wasn't the main problem.
He wasn't the main problem.
He wasn't a solution.
The interception was really bad.
The interception was ridiculous.
And then people were like, you asked for more interceptions.
I did not ask for that type of interception.
I asked for the interception where he's taking a shot to hit a guy downfield, not he can just throw the ball away, and instead he throws the ball away into the lion's hand.
I think he, yeah, he was trying to throw the ball away, but then that's almost more concerning because he wasn't accurate enough to hit the sideline.
Yeah.
The entire sideline.
No, this team is bad.
I'm actually upset at myself for letting people
be like, you're being too hard on them after week one.
It probably wasn't hard enough.
This defense is a joke.
The offensive line was invested in heavily, is not good enough.
Caleb Williams is not taking enough steps forward.
And the roster, again, we're on year four of a rebuild where you had two times you had the number one pick.
And this is the output.
This is how bad it is.
And he's like, he's 50, Ryan Paul is 15 and 38 in his tenure.
15 and 38.
That's insane.
And he got an extension two months ago.
I honestly wish the Bears would just be like,
who knows what Ben Johnson will be as a coach?
But
I would be totally down with them to be like, hey, Ryan Paul's, you're gone.
Ben Johnson, this is your roster.
Trade anyone you want.
Trade some of these guys before the trade deadline this year.
Get as many picks as possible.
And I guess just do a rebuild again.
And just
build the team
in your image, in your mold.
And guess what?
It could end up exactly at this point.
But the fact that we're at this point after four years of rebuilding is an absolute joke.
I was wondering about that when they announced the Ryan Pohl's extension.
What did he do that made them say, yeah, this is our guy.
He's done a great job.
Because ultimately, you have to be judged based on if your football team is good at playing football.
Can I tell you what I honestly think what happened was?
I think that just the fact that he was able to negotiate an extension makes him a genius negotiator.
That's a good point.
I was going to say that.
very meta, but like him convincing George McCassie to give him more money, he was like, holy shit, this guy's good.
I was going to say
the fact that he signed Ben Johnson.
Yeah.
A coach that you think is going to be good, that was good enough for them to say, okay, we got the guy that we didn't think that we were going to get.
We're not going to wait and see how it plays out.
Good job, Ryan Pole.
Yeah, he got Ben Johnson.
He's an excellent, he's like a headhunter.
Right.
But the Bears also,
and it's early, so I'm going to have patience with Ben Johnson.
I'm not going to, anyone who's like, he's a bad coach after two games, that's crazy.
But they are not, they're playing like dog shit, and they're very penalized.
They had eight penalties for 50 yards today, which actually was a step in the right direction because it was 12 for 127 on Monday night football.
And I like Ryan Paul as a guy, but this is just, you can't, how can you look at this record and this roster and have this many guys that you drafted in the first three rounds not contributing?
Like, that's how this works in the NFL.
You draft, when you draft guys in the first round round and the second round, they have to contribute right away.
Otherwise, what are you doing?
It is crazy to think that on Thanksgiving last year, this game was way more competitive.
Yeah.
Bears should have won that game.
And
this game had, like, I think it's rotten to the core in a way because this game had a very similar vibe of the,
after the Hail Mary last year where the team quit.
It felt like the team kind of quit after halftime when the refs kind of fucked up that spotting of the ball.
Obviously, it didn't matter.
The Lions were going to win this game 100 times out of 100 today, but
then they score with like three seconds left.
It felt like the team quit.
And so
what's the fix for that?
Like, you got to just,
you're at the end of a rebuild, and now you have to clean it out again because it just doesn't feel like they have a fight.
Yeah, the other thing I could say would be a positive takeaway.
DeAndre Swift did not look bad when he was running the ball.
No, yeah, he ran hard.
He ran hard.
And then, yeah, at the end of the first half, I was confused by that because it seemed like their explanation.
First of all, they let the Giants run a play so it happened the lions yeah yeah yeah the lions uh jerry goff hit tesla down the sideline for a one another one-handed catch yeah from the rookie that now has the two craziest first catches of all time in nfl history because he had that one-hander last week uh for a touchdown so he catches it with one hand then the lions ran a play where they spiked it with what looked to be like half second left on the clock yeah so they could kick a field goal then the refs went back and reviewed the play before the spike and said yeah the clock operator screwed it so we're going to do a 10-second runoff.
You still have six seconds left.
Yeah.
I don't understand that because
after you run the play where you spike it,
they screwed it up.
The ref screwed up the spotting.
He didn't realize that he was down in bounds.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
None of this matters.
What I was going to say is because this is the second time that's happened in two weeks where they've reviewed a play that by the rule you shouldn't be allowed to review, but ultimately you make the right decision.
You want the plays on the field to matter and be called right.
The NFL just needs to say
you can only review the last play
before the next play unless the next play is a spike because that's the second time that it's happened.
Yeah.
Teams run up to the ball too quick and it screws everything up.
So just put that in the rule book.
And I was mad in the moment because it was the difference of, you know, at halftime it was going to be,
I think it was going to be what, a seven-point game.
So it's like, oh, we can fight, but it doesn't fucking matter.
The Lions were so much better.
And then the Bears quit and they stink.
And I don't know.
They're a four-win team at most.
I don't know what.
I'm happy I didn't get.
I'm happy that every time you guys prodded me trying to get more out of than six out of ten, I didn't go up from that because, yeah, I looked through their schedule earlier.
I mean, who are they going to beat?
Okay, I'll give you some wins.
Cowboys at home?
The Cowboys' offense is awesome.
The Cowboys' offense is awesome.
The Cowboys, if the Bears play, can I read this stat for you again?
In the last five quarters, the Bears have given up 694 yards and 73 points.
Okay, that's not good.
The Cowboys offense is going to light us up.
Saints at home.
Maybe.
Saints fight.
The Saints actually fight where the Bears don't.
At the Bengals, Commanders' Revenge game.
Jake Browning is fine.
Home against the Giants.
Giants, probably Jackson Dart will be awesome by then.
Browns at home.
Maybe, but that might be Dylan Gabriel.
Deshaun might come back.
And yeah.
Okay.
Nothing on this list.
Packers at home.
No, nothing.
He haven't beaten you at home this year.
Nothing on this list makes you think, like, oh, they could.
I mean, they're not a good team right now.
Hopefully, Ben Johnson, you know, gets things going in the right direction.
And maybe Caleb, like I said, he wasn't the major problem today.
I know he's the easy scapegoat, and he had some nice throws, and he did have the sacks and the interception, but he had a couple where he let it rip.
Hopefully, he gets better and better, and then maybe they can start playing some competent football.
But the defense is a joke, and they've it's crazy.
The amount of resources, like the amount of money that's been spent, and the draft capital and everything to have this type of output is a fucking joke.
I forgot that you had the number one pick overall twice.
Twice.
I forgot about that.
And he, and, and they basically got rid of everyone and like cleared the whole balance book and had nothing but cap space.
It's a joke.
So, I, yeah,
what are you going to do?
They suck.
And until they start to show that they don't suck, I'm going to keep saying they suck.
Well, also, they did have the number one pick twice, but they also traded the number one pick one of those times for a pick that ended up being the future number one pick.
And more picks.
So, they turned the number one overall pick into the next number one overall.
Again, no Pro Bowlers.
No Pro Bowlers.
No Pro Bowlers selected by Ryan Pulse through four years.
That's kind of hard to do, especially considering how many guys just make the Pro Bowl because people sit out.
Yeah.
Like, Ryan Pace
was way better, the guy who preceded him, and he, and, and he
put the Bears in a bad spot, but he was way better of a GM through whatever, four years.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
So it's dark times.
It's kind of weird because the Bears are still in there.
This was a rebuilding year, no matter what, because you have Ben Johnson as a first-year head coach.
Caleb being on a second year makes it tough to call it a rebuilding year because this is actually, this is the step forward year.
It's the fourth year of a rebuild.
this isn't you can't do rebuilding forever like you eventually have to be like hey you've made all these picks you've created this roster there has to be some accountability has to start showing up on the field like i didn't expect the bears to be a playoff team this year but it had to be a step forward because you can't just say every year is a rebuilding year they've been it's been four years at chicago highway for the last four years but it's you know what i'm saying like you can't just say rebuilding year every year even though they've had all these picks and all these resources How long is this contract for?
Who knows?
I don't think they announced like five years probably.
So now this would be a real test if George McCasky can stop
refing youth soccer and maybe be like, hey, we should just eat this contract and let Ben Johnson run the team.
And again, that might end up bad too, but at least
the alternative is to just keep doing the bad thing
that's been bad for four years or maybe try something new.
Maybe just have the owner be the GM like Jerry Jones.
Man, he doesn't know football.
That's the problem.
So, yeah, it's a disaster.
And the Lions are good.
So, credit to the Lions.
They look like they're going to be just fine.
And you can tell by, like, in the locker room, this was a meaningful win for them.
And, like, the chip on the shoulder.
And it also,
by the transitive property, the Packers might be really, really fucking good.
They could be.
Yeah.
I think that the NFL is just so much weak to weak.
Packers are really good.
We know that.
They're a very good team.
But I think the Lions weren't as bad as they looked week one.
No, of course not.
They're not.
The Bears are as bad as they look today.
And
Jared Goff is always scoring 50 points.
Yeah.
It's just like in his DNA.
Yeah.
The guy is really good at playing quarterback.
Put respect on Jared Goff's name.
I agree.
Yeah, he played perfect quarterback today.
Like, perfect.
And
he was just seeing everything.
Amon Ra is an absolute monster.
Like, every single time he was across the middle, he would catch in just an extra 20 yards.
Did Jared apologize to you?
No, I texted him.
I just said
at least my friend can benefit from the dumpster fire fire of this organization.
He hasn't hit me back yet.
I only texted him like 20 minutes ago.
So we'll see.
I'm sure he will.
He'll be like, it's not that bad, but it is.
It's pretty bad.
Yeah.
All right.
Next one.
Really great game.
Bengals 31, Jaguars 27.
It's a great game.
Big story, though.
Joe Burrow, toe injury out for
possibly maybe the rest of the season.
So, yeah, the toe, turf toe is one of the injuries that they should rebrand.
They got a bad marketing team for turf toe because turf toe, like, just cut your your foot off.
It's really like a bottom of the foot injury.
And if your toe is fucked up, like they say that Joe Burrow's toe might be fucked up, he might be done for the entire year, which
sucks for Bengals fans.
It also is just another reminder that, you know, remember when Joe Burrow gave the speech about the windows always open?
This is what happens.
It's just, it's every, every year in the NFL is so fleeting and so random, and it sucks a lot for Joe Burrow.
I hope he's able to figure out a way to still play this year.
But I think what I see, I saw three months possibly.
Dr.
Dan told me that it might need surgery because it's grade three.
They said that he's going to consider surgery.
So it's bad.
Grade three would mean that it was like completely torn, which means, yes, surgery.
And then I saw another doctor online saying this is season ending.
It's not really three months.
Three months is like the most optimistic time frame.
So that sucks for Bengals fans.
Joe Burrow is so fun to watch.
He played so good last year.
I was looking forward to seeing him play again this year with maybe a better defense and seeing what they could do.
That sucks.
It turns out you got a decent backup, I think.
I think Jake Browning is okay.
Yeah, he did.
I loved his last drive.
He also threw three picks.
There's a guy out there.
There's a guy out there.
He's not getting playing time anytime soon.
You're talking about Kirk Cousins?
I could talk about Kirk Cousins.
That would be one of them.
But then the other is Jameis.
Oh, I thought you were talking about Colin Kaepernick.
Imagine Jameis with those weapons.
Jameis with those weapons.
Think about it.
Think about Jameis with T.
Higgins, Jameis with Jamar Chase.
That's what the people want to see.
Yeah.
So give the people what they want.
And Jake Browning was good on that last drive.
He took the Bengals 15 play, 92 yards
down three.
He was like 9 for 13 for 65 yards on that drive.
There was a very controversial pass interference call on Travis Hunter, which was not pass interference.
I think we can all agree that just wasn't pass interference.
That was almost perfect defensive football.
And so there's a little bit, I mean, they just fucked that up.
I don't know what to say.
Like, he made a great play on the ball.
It's awesome second.
Didn't hold him or anything.
The Jaguars got screwed.
Yeah.
And also, I'm going to defend Liam Cohen for a second.
Okay.
So he decided to go for it on fourth and five.
What was the exact scenario there, guys?
Was he,
they were up three, I believe.
And they went for it on fourth and five
deep inside the Jaguars or inside the Bengals territory.
Yep.
They didn't get it.
Then the Bengals go and the Bengals win the game and they cover.
Sorry, Max.
Liam Cohen after the game said, analytics tell me 100% of the time that is the right call because
you want to make them have to score a touchdown, essentially.
And I'm going to defend him.
And there's nobody, I can say that I believe in Liam Cohen, but there's nobody better to make the case than when Jason Garrett gets on TV and says how strongly he disagrees with Liam Cohen's decision.
Like he was smiling.
He's like these newfangled stats numbers guys.
So happy to see them get burned by this because sometimes a coach has to go with his gut.
Jason Garrett absolutely loved the fact that it didn't work because Jason Garrett would not have gone for it.
So, so is he saying that if you kick the field goal, then you only lose by one?
He said
that
it was a much easier path for Jake Browning to go down the field knowing that he also could get a field goal.
Got it.
Yeah.
Got it.
Which makes no sense.
No.
Oh, no, sorry.
It was a tie game.
Oh, it's when it was a tie game.
Right?
No,
they were down three.
No, the Jaguars are up three.
So they could have made it up.
They're still up six.
Yeah, yeah.
And I, yeah, you got to go for it there.
You win the game.
If you get that, you win the game.
He said the only reason Jake Browning scored a touchdown was because he knew that he also could have gotten a field goal.
And if he was driving knowing he needed to get a touchdown, it wouldn't have been as successful.
I think it's
no sense.
And I actually think it's the reverse.
When you're down six, you now have all four downs for the rest of the drive because you know you have to score a touchdown.
Just hearing Jason Garrett talk about it, it was like, I know exactly what you're thinking, Jason.
You would not have gone for it.
That's why you're not a coach anymore.
Also, was this, what were you going to say?
Trouble in paradise?
Well, oh, with Liam Cohen and Trevor Lawrence.
Yeah, there's a little back and forth that went on.
I would say the real trouble in Paradise is
Brian Thomas Jr.
okay?
Because
that was a weird game from him.
There were so many alligator arms from the other day, and he does not want to get hit.
One of them directly led to an interception.
I think another one, I think it might have been the fourth and five when he alligator armed another time.
It feels like
something's up with that.
Yeah, well, he doesn't practice hard per Pete Prisco, and
he did have like a second half, I think, last week, where he got mad at Trevor Lawrence for not getting the ball.
I think they might not be on the same page.
Yeah.
And then by extension now, I think Trevor might be in Liam Cohen's doghouse because they waved him off.
They got into a little argument that was on camera on the field.
And also after the game last week, Liam Cohen said not nice things about Trevor Lawrence.
Yeah.
He said, what did he say?
He didn't have a great third quarter.
We need to be more accurate.
I like that from Cohen, though, using the term we.
Yeah.
Like we need to be more accurate at throwing the football.
He's part of all of us.
It's both of them together.
Yeah.
Brian Thomas Jr.
had
eight of Trevor Lawrence's 18-incompletions were targets to Brian Thomas Jr.
I don't know what it is, but if you watch some of this game and you saw some of the plays, I don't think he wants to get hit.
And that's not going to.
And I know some people are like, well, there's been hospital passes to him.
I get it, but like some of these drops and some of these plays, this was the, yeah, the interception was bad.
He basically, you could see it.
It hit his hands and he felt someone coming after him and he kind of basically bailed on the entire play play at the last second.
Like slowly.
And it went right into a Bengals player's hands.
Yeah, that's not
good.
Yeah.
There's going to be some fallout.
I don't know.
Liam Collins got his work cut out for him.
So I have a weird Jake Browning stat for you, too, that might be ominous for the Jaguars.
So if you remember, two years ago, I believe it was.
Yeah, two years ago.
The Jaguars were 8-3, feeling good.
Monday night football.
Jake Browning beat them in overtime.
And from that moment on, the Jaguars have gone 5-18.
And then you had this year, they win the opening week.
They're feeling good.
Liam Cohn, Jake Browning beats them.
The Jaguars might be in a free fall again just because of Jake Browning.
Because of Browning.
Yeah.
He basically started the last free fall.
Remember that game for many, many reasons.
Yeah.
Including some of the camera angles that they used for that one.
The Bengals, however, they're 2-0.
That's the first time since 2018 that they've been 2-0.
It feels like this is is a week that they do make a move, though.
Are you going to try to get someone?
Kirk Cousins might not be a bad option.
Jake Browning isn't bad.
He's also an AWL.
Yeah.
Well,
I think they're kidding themselves if they think that they have a chance to win playoff games with Jake Browning.
Yeah, but Joe Burrow might be back.
Joe Burrow, I don't know.
He was getting a second opinion.
He could be back.
He needs to go to a really shitty doctor to get the second opinion.
They also have a really hard schedule coming up.
They play at the Vikings, at the Broncos, Lions, Packers.
That's tough.
I think they're going to try to make make a move.
Jameis would be so much fun.
By the way, shout out Jamar Chase.
He is just the best.
14 catches, 158 yards, and a touchdown.
That's kind of like the, hey, we could maybe win with Jake Browning because we have Jamar Chase and T.
Higgins.
Well, it's going to be just throw the ball to Jamar.
Yeah.
Jake, this is how you do it.
If you want a chance, just force-feed Jamar like a foie gras goose, and let's see what the offense can do.
I like the idea of saying, chilling with Harambe Jameis Winston, Cincinnati.
I do too.
That's close enough.
Oh, I should also say,
I think pound for pound, my favorite play in football.
The funniest play possible in football is when a quarterback runs so far past the line of scrimmage and still throws it.
Trevor Lawrence had one today that was like five yards past.
It was so funny.
And then when they look around, like, what?
Yeah.
What did I do?
It's so, so funny.
It's my favorite thing.
Also, this game had a green dildo thrown onto the field, and the refs thought that it was a flag.
Or the graphics.
Or the graphics thought it was a flag.
They put up the flag right away.
It was a perfectly timed dildo toss right after a touchdown.
And
I would support having a green dildo icon that pops up on the screen.
Yeah, that flag.
It happens enough so that that way the people at home know exactly what it was.
We don't think it was a flag.
What happens if a green dildo gets thrown in a Nickelodeon game?
Slime.
You get slime.
No, that was just slime.
If you hit somebody, you get slimed.
Yeah.
That was just slime.
I hope that.
Do I hope that happens or do I hope that doesn't happen?
Well, it's a regular NFL game, so it's not like any different.
They probably would just ignore it.
Yeah, they probably will have a protocol.
They probably will have a situation.
It's probably on like a three-second delay.
Yeah.
Just in case something weird.
Like, if there's a fight, what are they going to do in the Nickelodeon game?
Yeah.
If the green dildo, they go to fight protocol.
They've got to make sure they have something to talk about.
SpongeBob comes and picks it up with a stinky bubble.
Is that SpongeBob?
Stinky Bubble?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, credit to the Bengals, though, but terrible news for the Bengals.
Like, this was a, we're 2-0, but holy shit, not again.
Because it sucks two times in the last three years that Joe Burrow is going to miss a significant amount of time.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
Kirk Cousins would make a lot of sense.
Kirk Cousins would make sense.
Jameis would be so much fun.
You're right.
Kirk Cousins would, like, if you're thinking about who to settle down with as opposed to who to have a fun time with, Kirk Cousins makes sense to settle down, although he'd look weird in that helmet.
I don't know how that would end up working.
Jameis with these receivers, though.
Jameis.
He's 5,000 yards,
even if he showed up week three.
I think if Jameis Winstonins
Jameis Winston joins the Bengals, mark this down.
He's going to break, what's his name, Norm Van Brockling?
Yeah.
His single game passing record, which has stood since the 50s, which is only like 550.
That's a lot of yards, 550 yards, but still shocking to me that that hasn't been broken since then.
Yeah.
Okay, speaking of, we had the game of the early slate, the Cowboys, Giants, Cowboys 40, Giants 37.
Russell Wilson heard all the noise because Russell Wilson was two yards shy of his career high, 450 yards, 30 for 41, deep ball magic, three touchdowns, and then a really bad interception in overtime to cost him.
Well, it's because his moon ball is just so catchable.
It is.
Even for defensive backs, sometimes.
Big cat, if I were to ask you who the two league leaders and passing yards are, who would you guess?
Russell Wilson.
Yes, he is number one.
And
Joe Flacco.
Daniel Jones.
Oh, okay.
Two of the Giants.
Two of the Giants.
Russell Wilson leads the league in passing yards right now.
He did look good today when he was mailing it out.
And
I thought Jackson Dart looked pretty good, too.
For his one or two plays?
Yeah, for his one or two plays.
I think he had a head off to Scatterbox.
He had some great handoffs.
One carry for negative three yards.
There we go.
Jackson Dart.
There we go.
The handoffs were there.
Malik Neighbors was sensational.
This game was so much fun.
There was 41 points scored in the fourth quarter.
41 points scored in the fourth quarter.
And it was Brandon Aubrey, who's an absolute stud.
I know we had this discussion.
I think we mentioned his name when we talked about the best kicker in football, it being Boswell.
And then we said maybe also Aubrey.
Aubrey, I think, is the best kicker because 64-yarder at the end of regulation,
it looks so easy for him.
It looks so easy.
It was good.
It had distance for another like 10 yards easily.
Yeah, it would have been good from 70.
It was crazy.
It was an awesome kick.
He just doesn't miss.
If you were to do a redraft of players and let's take all the quarterbacks out of it, how high would Brandon Aubrey go?
Ryan Poles would take him in the first round.
I'll take him 1-1.
Like everyone is a free agent.
I think you could make a case he could be a first-round pick.
No.
Not even close.
I appreciate it because he is awesome.
I'm talking non-quarterbacks.
I know exactly what you said.
Because he won this game.
I know exactly what you said.
He literally won this game
for the Dallas Cowboys.
No chance, BFT.
Listen, Brandon Aubrey's awesome.
Yeah.
That is a crazy statement.
Think about the offensive and defensive line.
There would just be a run on
the best guys.
Okay, I'll say this.
If you took a quarterback or
how many more positions are we going to raise?
If you just drafted specialists, he would be one overall.
Of course.
It's not even close.
Not even close.
I don't think it's crazy to say that if he entered the NFL draft next year, if somehow he got reclassified back and he wasn't in the NFL, was eligible to be drafted, there would be a team that would take him in the second round.
Ah, I don't know.
Yes.
Yes.
100%.
There would be a team that would take him in the second round.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, he's a really good kicker, but I still think
teams would probably still take lineman first.
Guys like that.
I'm saying build your franchise.
I'm saying he is so much better than any other kicker in the the NFL.
It's crazy.
Well, I mean, he's ⁇ I mean, Boswell's really fucking good.
Boswell's really good.
I don't know if the difference between Aubrey and Boswell is significant enough that he would be like, no doubt, second-rounder.
Look up and see what are Boswell's stats from 50-plus?
Because Aubrey's stats from 50-plus
are nuts.
I think he's like 80% from 50 yards plus.
Yeah, he's been awesome.
I mean, maybe he'd go second round.
But yeah, he would definitely not be a first-rounder if you drafted the entire NFL without quarterbacks.
There's just no way.
Who would you take in the first round?
Like every single edge rusher and left tackle.
Jalen Hurts?
Oh, because he's not a quarterback.
I like that.
Max, you like that?
We'll get to that.
Just say we won the game.
Max, do you like that?
I think Boswell is also very good from 50-plus.
He is.
Yeah, yeah.
No, he's very good from 50-plus.
According to AI, he's
43 of his last 52 attempts.
That's really good.
Pretty good.
Yeah, no, Aubrey just makes it look easy.
That's the thing, too, is he doesn't, it doesn't look like he's trying really hard when he kicks.
Yeah, I think he's just goes.
He's also got a stronger leg.
But also, with the Giants,
they're very frustrating because they should have won this game.
Oh, yeah.
They definitely should have won this game.
They had 160 yards of penalties, 14 penalties for 160 yards.
Now,
I think like 60 of them were on the same play and player, but yeah.
Okay, well, they also.
James Hudson was penalized four times on one possession.
He had 40 yards of penalties on one possession.
Was that the offensive lineman that they sat down?
Yeah.
He had the funniest play of the day by far.
His right slap, it was like a bitch slap that he put on the defensive end, just wound up and whacked the fuck out of the side of his face.
And then he got upset for being penalized.
Like, I wish that play was legal.
Deacon Jones used to do it as a defensive end for a long time, but like, this was a, it was just straight up a punch that he gave.
Watch this.
Boom.
He smashed them.
Absolutely smashed him.
Do you think there's,
by the way, Dak Prescott, that was his 14th straight win against the Giants?
That's the second longest record against one single opponent, win record against one single opponent.
Bob Greasy, number one.
Bob Greasy had 17 wins against the Bills from 1968 to 1979.
Tom Brady had 13 straight wins versus the Bills from 2003 to 2010.
So Dak Prescott, 14 straight.
That's crazy.
He just beats the Giants every single time.
I love watching Cam Scataboo play.
Yeah.
He's going to be a good NFL player.
Wrecking ball.
It's so fun.
He loves contact, runs into people, just throws his body around, and he's so much bigger and stronger than a lot of the guys that are trying to tackle him.
They need to give him more touches.
Yeah.
Do you guys think Jerry Jones had any second thoughts about Micah Parsons through two games, considering the fact his offense, the Cowboys' offense is very good.
It looks explosive.
The Giants only had 84 yards rushing today, big cat.
Oh, okay.
So they stopped the run.
They stopped the run.
They stopped the run.
Yes, they stopped the run.
And I know the Cowboys do have some injuries on defense, but still.
And they signed Clowney.
They did sign Clowney, so help on the way.
Their offense is awesome, and they're just going to be in these shootout games, and Micah Parsons might have been able to help.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
It remains to be seen.
Yeah.
But it will be very funny if it'd be very funny if like without Micah Parsons, the Cowboys get to the NFC championship game and lose in a shootout to the Packers because they don't have Micah Parsons.
That would be very funny.
And it's like, Jerry, you've been searching for this Super Bowl appearance for the last 30 years and you literally traded him away right before the season started.
I agree.
That'd be very funny.
I don't think the Cowboys are that good, but still, their offense is like they have a ton of guys that are contributing and their run game looks good and Dak looks healthy.
Max, I got a question for you as a fellow NFC East guy.
Yep.
I know we were both rooting for a tie.
That would have been the best outcome for us.
But with Micah Parsons being traded to the Packers, could you make the argument that that was actually worse for us than it was having him in the division and having to play him twice a year?
I said this to you on Thursday night.
I was like, it's bullshit that Dak Prescott finally gets traded away from the division and then you play him.
Micah Parsons.
Yeah, yeah,
Micah Parsons gets traded away from the division.
You have to play him before you would have had to play him on the Cowboys.
I'm not even talking about that.
I'm just saying for a team like the Eagles and maybe next year for the Commanders that's thinking Soupy, you're probably going to have to go through the Green Bay Packers
to get there, right?
Next year, Soupy?
To have Mike next year.
Next year.
Next year.
I said next year.
Yeah, no, I didn't.
That was a funny slip in.
I said next year.
But then you have to worry about the Packers more because they're way more of a present threat than the Cowboys to beat you in the playoffs.
And so having him is actually, that's bad.
I wish that the Cowboys hadn't done that.
That's advanced planning by you.
No,
I agree with that take.
I agree with that take.
Right now, I think I'm soupy, dude.
Yeah.
Right now, I think I would prefer Michael Parsons on the Cowboys.
I would,
too.
Yeah.
Jerry Jones fucked the entire division over.
Yeah.
That's probably why he did it.
The conference, you mean?
Well, the division.
Oh, the division.
But the conference.
But especially.
But especially the.
Well, no, the division he helped you.
Division, he helped you.
The conference, he hurt you.
He really fucked over the NFC North.
He fucked over everyone.
Yeah, Jerry Jones fucked everything up.
He should have just sent him to the AFC.
That's bullshit.
I agree.
Yeah.
You almost went to the Jets.
Yeah.
Did you see that report, Mames?
Yeah, it would have been a shit trade for the Jets, but
they wanted Quinnen Williams.
Quinn and Williams in two first-round picks.
So if the Jets traded that, the Cowboys would be picking top five.
Yeah, and the Jets said no.
Jets said no.
We don't have the facilities for that.
I'd say good job to the Jets.
Yeah.
They don't have the facilities.
Don't have the facilities.
Last thing, Brandon Aubrey was the...
Oh, oh, Dak Prescott.
Did you see he said that he's like a closer and he needs a walkout song, which would be sick.
Yeah.
A kicker having a walkout song would be awesome.
What should Aubrey have?
I don't know.
Kendrick?
That would be very funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was, yeah, Brandon Aubrey is awesome.
And this was the sneaky, the game of the day, which I don't think anyone expected going into it because Russell Wilson, he just, it was perfectly timed by Russ.
He heard all the noise.
He's like, I'm just going to chuck it up to Malik Neighbors, who Malik Neighbors is an absolute stud,
which that part is fun for Giants fans.
I don't know where the Giants, like, I thought the Giants' defense was going to be a lot better than it has been through two games.
Well, because you would think on paper with that defensive line that was so good last year,
they could do it again.
But
very fun game.
Very fun game.
All right, game time, by the way.
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All right, 49ers, 26, Saints, 21.
We told you on Friday this is going to be Kyle Shanahan getting to prove that Mac Jones was always the guy.
It started kind of rough for Mac Jones.
He had a couple really bad passes to start,
and then he did well.
He had three touchdowns.
He ran the offense well.
Maybe Mac Jones is the guy, and Kyle Shanahan was correct.
So I thought that this game was more competitive, and this is twice that the Saints have done this to me, where they've played teams tough.
They are a a tough team.
I think that's probably on me for going to the season, just thinking that the Saints were going to give up on playing football and not really be competitive at all.
Turns out that's very hard to do when you have professional football players in your team.
So, I'm always, I've been pleasantly surprised with how the Saints have been playing, and at least making interesting games for everybody.
But yeah, Mac Jones looked pretty good.
Christian McCaffrey looked okay.
The Luke Farrell guy that they got at tight end, he does a great job being like the margarine to George Kittle's butter.
Yep.
It's like, yeah, I wish I had Kittle, but this guy,
I guess he'll do.
Yeah,
if you're like walking in an airport on an NFL Sunday and you see a TV 100 feet away and you see Luke Farrell scoring a touchdown, you can maybe convince yourself that was Kittle.
If you're drunk enough, you think that that's Kittle.
Yeah.
Which everybody in New Orleans was.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, the Saints, like, they fight.
They're fighting for Kellen Moore.
Like, this is a team, they had the ball down five with a couple minutes left trying to score.
They, they, they ran out of time and got, you know, didn't convert a fourth down, but they fight.
What do you guys think was going through
Kyle Shanahan's head when Eddie Pinero missed his first PAT?
I hate kickers.
Like, fuck every kicker.
He then ended up making the rest of his PATs and two field goals, so good move because that would have definitely been at least one Jake Moody miss in a very tight game.
But it was very funny that the very first PAT he missed.
Credit to Kyle Shanahan for sending Matt onto the field to attempt field goals after that missed extra point.
Yes.
Because he just might have been done with kickers for forever.
Forever.
At that point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kyle was, he's probably relieved.
They're going to win a game or two because they have a competent kicker as opposed to Moody, who was just stinking it up.
And my condolences, big cat.
Listen, that's Ryan Pohl's move.
Yeah, Ryan Poles.
He's like, hey, we got a third-round draft pick or whatever Moody was, which is way too high.
Now we have a third-round draft pick kicker and a fourth-round draft pick punter.
Pretty good.
Wow.
It's basically like, you're the GM.
Yeah.
It was just not what you want.
Not what you want.
Yeah, I'm impressed with the Saints at least fighting.
I know that sounds like loser talk, but like Spencer Rattler,
he's okay.
He's running the offense in an okay way.
He played pretty good today, and it's like they're not a very good team.
They're in a weird middle phase as a franchise, and they're at least fighting early on in the football season.
I think he's a very, very serviceable bridge quarterback.
Yeah.
He's like a good guy to put.
He's not going to ruin the confidence of any of your other players while he's the starter for a single season.
As long as he doesn't get Chris Olave hurt.
That's true.
Yeah.
Which he didn't today.
Yeah, he did not.
And the 49ers might be back because 2-0 start after last year's debacle, and they've already gotten their 2-0, and they've already gotten a ton of injuries
that most seem like guys will come back.
So credit to 49ers.
It's got to feel good starting 2-0.
They've got to play the Cardinals next week,
who have problems of their own, which we'll get to.
I feel like Shanahan likes to put some, like, just a little bit of fear into the NFL fan bases out there by just saying, hey, Christian McCaffrey, he was limping around.
We're going to hold him out of practice today.
Yeah.
Just to make us all nervous.
Just make fantasy people.
It's actually kind of smart by Kyle Shanahan.
He can shine a light on how ridiculous we all act as sports betters and fantasy.
football players by just saying Christian McCaffrey didn't go through all practice
watching a bunch of of grown men freak out online.
Yeah.
He pulls a mirror up to our idiocy.
I think Kyle Shannon just hates nerds because he hates kickers and he hates people that play fantasy football.
And he is a nerd a little bit.
And he is a little bit
self-loathing nerd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Zach, did you have anything on this game?
I like, by the way, Zach and Memes just sitting here, just the two of them.
They don't hate each other.
This game scored a lot more points than I thought was going to be scored.
It was fun to watch.
Nice.
Yeah, so that's the thing is.
I just wanted to get you involved a little bit there, Zach, because I realized with the Bucs playing Monday Night Football, there's a chance you might not talk until who's back.
That's completely different.
I felt a little bad looking over there, being like, he's just going to sit here and listen to us podcast for two hours.
I bet the under on every single early game today.
Oh, no.
That was a mistake.
That was a bad mistake.
That was what happened last week.
That was what happened this week.
Yes.
Well, here's what I thought.
When I went to bed last night, I was thinking to myself, all right, the unders just absolutely killed last week.
Now everyone's going to think that the overs are going to hit because the opposite's going to happen.
So I'm going to fade the people that are fading the trend.
You checkmated yourself.
I checkmated myself.
Yeah.
And
lost a lot of money.
That's brutal.
On taking every single under this morning.
Yeah, that's brutal.
Yeah.
This one actually hit, though.
Here we go.
Next one.
The one that hit Bill's 30 Jets 10.
Yep.
What?
What does that look?
You said the overhit?
No, the under.
The underhit.
It was the only under.
The under.
This is a big winner.
It was the only under in the morning.
This was my under of the week.
Yeah.
And it hit.
Bills 30, Jets 10.
No hangover for the Bills.
They didn't even play great.
Josh Allen wasn't Superman Josh Allen.
That James Cook run was incredible.
It was an amazing run.
Although, Josh was kind of Superman.
He got hit in the face, maybe broke his nose and was bleeding everywhere.
It looked like he was excited to meet Josh Allen
on MVP night.
Yeah, he knows beers.
We know that.
And then that was a play where he had the ball, like, I think it was a couple plays after he got taken out with the broken nose, the bloody nose.
And he had a play where he ran down the sidelines and thought about trying to jump over two people.
Yep.
And he didn't press all the buttons.
And old Josh Wood have.
And then he was like smiling.
He's like, yeah, I made the right call there.
I learned.
I learned.
I figured out that I don't always have to do that.
Memes, does Aaron Glenn cut Michael Clemens for that penalty?
Because it would be very funny if Aaron Glenn just cut whoever makes the biggest mistake every single week and then ends up with like half a roster by the end of the year.
I think they might, but he's another one of those guys that if accountability was a thing, he wouldn't be on the roster because he made all those mistakes last year, and then
you think you got a stop on defense, and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, a penalty on Michael Clements.
Now, that was, it did look like a flop on Josh Allen.
His nose got battered.
No, no, no.
On the unnecessary rough.
To start the game, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But he did punch.
Because he did punch Josh Allen in the face.
Yeah, because the unnecessary rough is that was like a third and 17.
Yep, basically, just don't do anything stupid.
Get off the field.
And then the Bills were off and running.
And they had, like I said, it wasn't like
last Sunday night where Josh Allen was just lighting up and passing all over the place.
I think he, what did he end up with?
Like 170 yards or something?
But they did spread the ball.
I think 10 guys had a carrier catch.
And the Bills' defense is really what it was because they got ran on by the Ravens and gave up 40 points.
And then they came into
MetLife and they completely shut down the Jets' rushing attack.
The Jets,
outside of garbage time, had 18 carries for 76 yards.
They never got going.
And they basically were like, Justin Fields, we dare you to throw.
And guess what?
They won that dare.
That was a good dare to make it.
A really good dare.
3, 4, 11 today.
And then Tarad came in.
Do we know how long Justin's going to be out for?
He had a concussion.
Oh, we don't yet.
He might have a concussion.
So, where are we at?
Well, we got both ends of the spectrum from last week to this week for the offense.
Defense played a little okay.
The defense played a little okay.
A little okay.
They were on the field the entire time.
And James Cook runs.
James Cook, his run that kind of opened it up was insane.
Yeah, at that point, it was just like the Jets stink.
Like, I don't even know what we're doing.
Like, some teams are competing for a Super Bowl.
Other teams are just playing dress-up on Sunday.
How are you feeling about Justin Fields?
Not great.
You knew that it was going to be a long day from the first throw when he airmailed Garrett Wilson, and then it was just over.
Yeah.
This was definitely the
worst stadium trip that you could have for any home fan base this week.
Yeah, and apparently it was Justin Fields' worst game ever throwing.
Ever.
It was his best offensive line.
It is.
Guys were open.
He just wasn't throwing it.
He also had almost 50 yards rushing, memes.
Don't forget that.
Yeah,
he had one okay run and one long run.
He missed two wide-open guys, back-to-back throws.
How are we, memes, me and you?
I think when I had memes and I had a little bit of a dude to do.
What happened?
Well, we do this every year right around now, where we basically are like fighting with each other because both our teams stink.
And I accused him because I saw that he tweeted a graphic being like, Bears are eliminated from the playoffs.
And I was like, Where's the Jets graphic?
He did tweet the Jets' graphic a few, what like 20 minutes after that?
Yeah, but every time he looked at the Bears game, it was just the Lions just you guys were getting killed.
You had a quarterback who threw three for 11 for 27 yards, and again, he's our slot.
You're taking sloppy seconds from us,
yeah, but that's fine.
No, that's way worse.
We're supposed to suck.
We're supposed to suck.
When you say the Bears suck, what does that say about you that you took our sloppy seconds?
But the Jets are supposed to suck this year.
Yeah, you guys have it.
I don't
know.
We put out a graphic that for best record on the show,
I was in quadruple digits, and nobody else was even touching that.
Memes, you're saying that you engineered your team to stink, and you did so by taking a Bears quarterback.
Correct.
Got it.
Even though that's not what you said all offseason.
Well,
you cried when he got a little foot injury.
You called us racist.
He snubbed his toe and
almost left the show.
Listen, memes,
we did hash it out.
Memes and I hashed it out.
We agreed that we have to remind ourselves that we're in this together, the two of us.
We're the winless teams on PMT right now, and we have to stay together, memes.
We have to have each other's backs.
Did I go and do an accounting of how many times you tweeted about the Bears versus how many times you tweeted about the Jets?
Yes.
Was it more Bears than Jets?
Yes.
But we're in this together.
The Bears was a more memeable game.
That's true.
That is true.
More eyeballs on it?
That is true.
More eyeballs.
That was a coordinator going against the old team.
That is true.
Said he had plays that he had called in the offseason that he was going to run today.
Oh, the Bears had a great first play.
Yeah.
Yeah, he has a good script.
So...
Okay, so we're good, though.
Yeah,
we're good.
We both suck.
Yeah.
What do you think about Aaron Glenn's?
And maybe you'll get Caleb Williams in like a year or two.
What do you think about Aaron Glenn's statement after the game that was just like, we're killing ourselves?
Yeah,
that was his.
Is that memeable?
That was his warm welcome to the Jets.
Would you say that's a memeable thing that he said?
Yeah, I tweeted about it.
Did you meme it?
I'm beginning to see Big Cat's point here.
Yeah.
To memes' defense.
His coach literally said, we're killing ourselves.
And then memes did not use that.
You did not deploy that as a meme.
I did.
So memes' defense, what?
The graphic of
the Bears' elimination got 27,000 likes.
The graphic of the
Jets one got four.
Listen, I knew.
Obviously, I'm not arguing of which team is funnier to laugh at right now.
I'm just asking for fair and balance from memes when he runs the PMT account.
All I needed was the Jets eliminated as well.
Because we're in this together.
We have to stick together.
That's fair.
But if we're numbers-based, the Bears can't.
Of course, they do.
They're way easier to laugh at.
Which is actually, you should be upset about that.
Because, like, that used to be the Jets' mantle.
You lost it.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy.
Yeah, but
we're so bad you can't even laugh anymore.
Right.
So, that's, but shouldn't you, yeah, so maybe that's what it is.
Maybe it's like you're mad that the Bears have taken the Laughingstock mantle.
That could be it.
Either way, it was just very funny for Memes and I to just standing in the studio around 4 o'clock today, having a real disagreement, and then coming to the terms of like, we both suck.
We just got to stick together.
Zach, you watched it.
What did you think?
How pathetic was it?
It was very funny.
I'll be in full transparency.
It was good.
But it felt pathetic.
Did you feel pathetic, memes?
Because I felt pathetic.
We were arguing.
We were arguing over who's worse.
Now that memes has the part of my take timeline pulled up, there is one thing from the Lions Bears game that we didn't discuss.
Oh, yeah.
I should bring up.
Yeah.
Amon Ra St.
Brown scored a touchdown.
He does the celebration where he grabs his hamstring.
Hank freaked out.
Hank thought that he pulled his hamstring.
He goes, oh, fuzz.
Oh, no.
You've never seen that before, Hank.
I said, oh, no.
Jared Goff looked like he got fooled by it, too.
No.
No, he came to celebrate with his buddy.
Yeah.
I just said, oh, no.
First day watching ball.
I mean, that's not what you want to see.
That's true.
Well, actually, it is.
You have to hear it.
You fucking cry every time Jaden Daniels moves outside of the pocket.
Shut the fuck up.
I do.
And I've never once been like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
I've never fallen for a fake sword.
Oh, get down, get down, get down.
Oh my god.
After he scores a touchdown, I'm not like, oh my God, is his hamstring okay?
If he went down like that, you would literally have a heart attack.
That's probably not.
Well, you.
I care way more about Jaden Daniels than you do about Amon Raj.
I didn't.
And freak out.
I literally just said, oh, no.
You freaked out a little bit.
No, I said, oh, no.
That's been a thing for like three years.
He sold it well.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're good, memes.
We both suck.
Yeah, we're good.
We're good.
We're good.
It actually never got to memes, you know, sometimes memes does the thing where he like balls his fist and you're like, oh, no.
We never even got to that.
We were just having a nice, polite disagreement, and then came to the conclusion that we both suck and are pathetic, and we're good with that.
Well,
Big Cat strolled in with a lacrosse stick on his shoulder like
he's about to hit me with it.
It's true.
I don't know why I had a list of people.
I didn't need to talk.
I was just like, what did I do?
He was like, you tweeted the bears are eliminated from the play.
I was like, where's the Jets one?
He's like, I did it.
And Zach was just sitting there.
And yeah, it had to have been the most pathetic conversation that happened this afternoon.
Easily.
I was just aware there's going to be that much division week two.
I was like, well, this is week two.
Like, week 14 is going to be.
No, because this is exactly when memes and I do it every year.
It's right around now.
I think it's a little early.
You think it's early?
I think the
Bears were good last year.
The Jets weren't.
Oh, yeah.
It starts.
Oh, starts.
It starts.
Jets were decent to start.
Yeah.
I think week five or six is whenever the Pats beat the Jets.
It's usually, yeah, you're right.
It's a little bit later, but this year, I think this is the appropriate time for it.
Yeah, it's right around that time.
Yeah, it's right.
It needed to be said.
We needed to have the conversation.
We'll be good for the rest of the season.
Just being like, yeah, we both saw it.
I will say the last thing on the Jets,
like Sean Payton lost 70-20 to the Dolphins his first year.
Like, there's those positives.
You need a year to set the culture for your team.
You have to flush the turds.
You have to get rid of every single negative piece.
Negative player out of the building.
You got to get your guys in.
It's unfortunate.
You're going to suck for a while.
You just got to bear with the process instead of just being like, oh, we fuck it.
We're terrible.
I want to watch a Super Bowl team.
That's just not going to happen.
You're right, because that's how bad teams stay bad.
Yeah.
Is if they do freak out and then they make another change.
Yeah.
Yeah, you just got to realize we're going to suck.
That's where we're different in that you're not at the end of a four-year rebuild.
You're at the start of a rebuild.
Yeah, even though it's kind of exciting.
Tony Romo said on the broadcast that it was like watching Alabama versus
Tennessee State
that the Bills just have so many more guys that are good it's just not competitive right now yeah yeah but I do think we'll beat we'll beat the bad teams like we're a bad team but I think we're better than the worst you might be one of the best bad teams yeah how many wins right now
five how many bad teams are there that you're better than
that's a good question after today's game i'd say zero but if you go based off the pittsburgh game, who they look terrible.
Yeah, because Pittsburgh could be a bad team.
They could be bad.
Are you better than the Dolphins?
I think we're better than the Dolphins.
We'll find out in two weeks.
That's Monday Night Football.
I think you're better than the Panthers.
Yeah, we could beat the Panthers.
Are you better than the Saints?
Right now, no.
Are you better than the Bears?
Yes.
We don't play, but yes.
Right now?
Power rank.
Although we kind of played the same week one, week two.
Like close game, then non-competitive game.
No, I'd give it to the Bears.
Okay.
Although Justin Fields would have a chip on his shoulder.
Yeah.
That would be big.
That would be big.
And you would have a chip on your shoulder because you'd get to rub it in my face.
That would also be big.
That would be fun.
All right.
Next game.
Seahawks, 31, Steelers, 17.
Yeah, the Steelers might be bad.
So this game did change on two plays.
One was the pick in the end zone to where Calvin Austin, I think, ran the wrong route, basically hit the ball, tip drill.
It was a pass to Friar Muth.
Calvin Austin reached out, deflected it up, interception.
He's like, I got this.
Yep.
And then the other one was one of the dumbest plays ever.
It was Caleb Johnson walking away from a ball that landed in the landing zone, and then the Seahawks jumping on it and in the end zone and scoring a touchdown.
That was basically the game right there.
It reminded me, it kind of reminded me of like, because of the new rules of kickoffs and everything,
it kind of reminded me of, remember the Plaxco play?
When he stood up and dropped the ball, and then everyone learned to not do that?
Yep.
Caleb Johnson had to die for everyone else to learn to never do this because the way he walked away from that ball, he never in a million years thought it was a live ball.
Every special teams coach is like, thank God that happened to a different team and not to us.
And Danny Smith, the biggest gum chewer, like he makes Pete Carroll look like he's never put anything in his mouth.
Danny Smith is always chewing a fat wad of gum.
And him not knowing that rule, I think, is worse than what Caleb Johnson did.
Like as a special teams coach, say what you want about Belichick.
Belichick would have studied every single rule about the kickoff and then had an hour-long meeting with everybody on special teams being like, this is the rule.
This is what you can do.
This is what you can't do.
That, to me, was more on the coach than it was on the player.
Do we know that he told him...
Do we know that because he could have told him.
He might have told him.
If he did tell him, then yes, it's on the player.
Yeah.
But he certainly, Caleb Johnson didn't act like he had ever heard that.
He walked away from it so nonchalantly.
And the game changed entirely on that.
Yeah, it went.
The Steelers have to press.
The Seahawks were up three, and then they went up 10, just like that, on back-to-back plays.
So it was pretty crazy.
The Steelers are.
I don't know if the Steelers are good.
I have a take, Big Cat.
Okay.
I think the Steelers are better when they have a shitty quarterback.
And Aaron Rodgers didn't play that well today.
I want to say that.
I mean, he should have had that touchdown to Pat, but
I think that they're better when their defense knows that they have to be impregnable.
I think they can just give it a little time because I think Aaron Rodgers might not be good anymore.
You don't think so?
No.
Under pressure, he was a disaster.
He was bad today.
He was
on passes over 10 yards today.
He had a 22% completion percentage, 42 yards, and one interception.
He might be over.
I actually
think they win that game with Mason Rudolph.
They might.
Because the defense, my entire take is right now, the Steelers didn't really make any drastic changes on defense besides bringing in Jalen Ramsey, which should make your defense better, right?
And Joey Porter didn't play today, but
they're not playing at all like they were last year on defense.
They did have a lot of injuries in this game, but still, it's two games where they've gotten, it doesn't look like the Steelers, the way that they got ran on, like Kenneth Walker, he only touched the ball 13 times.
He had 105 yards.
Yeah, it's like just because you have the uniform.
I always expect that the uniforms are just going to make you a good defensive player if you play in Pittsburgh.
Correct.
But that's not really a great strategy.
It's like saying, play Renegade louder.
Yeah.
That'll make us better on defense.
If they have a shitty quarterback, I feel like they're more competitive on defense.
Yeah.
It might be a dumb take, but knowing that you can't give up any points.
I don't hate the take.
I think they just got to wait a little bit because I don't know.
I don't know if Rodgers.
I don't know if the Steelers are good.
They started 1-0.
Obviously, they lost today.
The Seahawks defense is good.
Had them in clamps in the second half.
I don't know if the Steelers are good.
There also might be a little,
maybe some trouble brewing between Aaron Rodgers and Mike Tomlin.
Who?
Do tell.
Well, Aaron Rodgers...
He keeps trying to tell Mike we're going to go for it on fourth down.
And then Mike Tomlin's like, no, Aaron, I don't go for it on fourth down.
That's not in my DNA.
Yeah.
And then Aaron Rodgers is like, fuck, okay.
But he's used to winning all those arguments with his coaches.
Yeah, but he doesn't realize that Mike Tomlin's like, hey, I don't know if you know, but I've been here for a long time.
And what we do is we punt.
We're in the middle of the field, and it's fourth and one, we punt.
This is how I have a 600-winning percentage.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're going to punt.
It was fourth and one.
It was pretty much midfield, I think, at the 48-yard line.
And it was tied 14-14.
And Aaron Rodgers is like, no, let's just get a first down.
Mike Tomlin's like, no, we're going to punt.
And Aaron looked exasperated.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, I don't know.
We'll find out, I guess, if the Steelers are good in the next couple of weeks.
Because I think they play at the Patriots.
That would be a good test of whether they're good.
Then they play at home against the Vikings.
That will be a good test.
If they start one and three, I think they're not a good team.
And I don't.
Russell Wilson looked really good today.
I don't know if Aaron Rodgers still has what Russell Wilson did, which is crazy to say.
Over Over the course of a season?
Maybe, but.
Like, this is a great game from Russ, don't get me wrong.
Yeah, no, I'm just saying, I don't know where that came from, Russ.
It wasn't last year, but.
Or last week.
Yeah.
But the deep ball is still there for Russ.
Aaron Rodgers couldn't throw the ball down the field.
Aaron Rodgers looked way better today than Russ looked in week one.
Yes, I would agree with that.
In their bad games.
I would agree with that.
But in their good games, Russ looked better than Aaron Rodgers.
And that interception in the end zone was not Aaron Rodgers' fault.
Correct.
That was not his fault at all.
And then the Seahawks, I do think the Seahawks have a very good defense.
Their offense will hopefully come along and look good today because the Steelers' defense would look bad.
But yeah, I think the, like, Mike McDonald's got them going in the right direction kind of thing.
We have two Mike and Mike matchups today.
We did.
Vrabel and McDaniel and Tomlin and McDonald.
Yeah.
Crazy.
It's too bad we lost Mike McCarthy.
We would have had five Mike's.
Five Mics.
Five Mics.
Yeah,
the Seahawks are are going to be one of those teams that I feel like if they're going to be there.
They play a good style of football.
Even that week one game where they couldn't do anything offensively, they stayed in it by playing good defense.
And Cooper Cup's still alive.
Cooper Cup's still alive.
Yep.
Still alive.
Oh, that's my computer making noise.
Hank, speaking of Mike's, the other Mike-Mike matchup, Patriots 33, Dolphins 27.
How are you feeling?
Gotta win.
Gotta win.
Wasn't pretty.
Defense is really bad.
Drake May looked great.
Drake May did look great.
The offense looked good.
Stephon Diggs kind of showed up a little bit.
I love Mike Rabel running down the sidelines on the kick return.
Yeah, you'd see Stephon Diggs calling slow.
Yeah, that's funny.
That's just good old-fashioned locker room stuff.
Yeah.
Tua finally lost to the Patriots.
Yep.
But their defense looked bad.
Like, the Dolphins, I don't think, are good, and it was an absolute grind to win that game.
Yeah, you needed the bat.
the game was not
super appealing to watch, and then it kind of all hell broke loose with the punt return, then kick return right back, which was pretty sick.
Did you like the new uniforms?
New uniforms yet.
I thought they were new.
Not yet.
Did the pants look grayer then, or were they sweating a lot?
I think there was, I think it was just a hot Miami day.
Okay, it was a hot Miami Day.
Because they put the benches in the sun.
Yeah.
Let's talk about your kicker.
Yeah.
So I have a theory.
I think Mike Rabel's just too much an alpha that none of his kickers can ever have the confidence to kick.
He just hates kickers.
He's got a horrible number.
He's got a horrible swag for a kicker.
Number 36.
He's number 36.
He's got an arm sleeve.
The arm sleeve on.
And a sleeve of tattoos.
He looks like a 12-year-old went in the Madden Creative Player and spent like an hour and a half customizing everything.
You do not want your kicker to have swag.
Nothing about a natural kicker should exude coolness.
No, and he's got the ass towel, which is like, that's K.
Dick, who played, obviously, college football, do uncle football, is like, no kicker should ever have an ass towel.
No.
You don't touch the ball with your hands.
Correct.
He did.
He came up clutch, though.
He had a long field goal to kind of ice the game.
Yeah.
He did, but yeah, he missed two extra points.
The first two extra points missed him badly.
Number 36 on a kicker doesn't look good.
If you're a kicker, you take the screen.
You don't even ask for a number.
If you're a kicker, you just like you go into the equipment room and you're like, whatever you got that, that, like, dorks usually wear.
I'll put that one on.
So, yeah, bad, really bad.
And Vrabel definitely just hates it.
He doesn't even, probably is not even going to acknowledge it.
Probably doesn't even know his name.
No.
Yeah.
No, they're just all kicker.
Yeah.
To him.
Get out there, kicker.
Go miss that kick, kicker.
Because this happened.
Remember when he just didn't use kickers in Tennessee?
Yeah, because there was one guy that missed like four in a row.
Yeah.
And he was just like, yeah, we're just not kicking the ball.
We're not going to kick.
Ever again.
Mike McDaniel has to change his glasses.
You can't wear those glasses and lose as much as he's been losing.
I'd agree.
If you need to make a change,
you got to have
a different image.
You can't be going through the tough times when you're looking like a Coke dealer.
Yeah.
He also,
I would say
the heat on his seat is
volcanic at this point because they had a players-only meeting after week one.
Yep.
And then after this game, Tua basically said like the communication was terrible at the the end of the game.
Yep.
And Mike McDaniel then said the communication was terrible at the end of the game.
It feels like it's going to be our first head coach fired this season.
Well, they're already ⁇ it's week two.
Yeah.
And Miami.
And they had to play Buffalo on Thursday night.
Miami is already flying planes over the stadium that say fire Greer, fire McDaniel.
That's skywriting bad territory for the Dolphins right now.
Here's a good thing for the Dolphins.
Tyreek Hill finally had a 30-yard catch, first time in a year.
Yep.
It was one of the most underthrown balls of all time, but it still counted.
It was over 30 yards, technically, yes.
Also, Tua is my favorite interception quarterback in the league now.
Tua might have a blind spot directly in the center of his field of vision.
That interception he threw to the linebacker was so fucking funny.
He is now number one.
If you're like, hey, you want to laugh?
Show me an interception.
It's Tua.
It was crazy.
The guy was about 15 yards in front of him, directly in his field.
Is there a term for that, like nearsighted, far-sighted?
Remember, Jameis had this when he got to the lace.
Yeah, he was linebacker blind.
Yeah.
But yeah, if you can't see things that are directly in front of your face, what is that called?
I don't know.
Denial?
Yeah.
That interception, though, was so fucking funny.
He just threw it right to the linebacker.
Yeah.
It was a perfect pass to the linebacker.
But yeah, he leads the league in funniest turnovers at this point.
He's my 1-1 pick for funniest turnovers.
I agree.
They're awesome.
Hank, you guys traded a wide receiver today, or was that yesterday?
Yesterday.
Are you familiar with the Patriots' track record with receivers that they've drafted?
Yes, not great.
Who did you trade?
Not Booty.
No, not Booty.
Polk, yeah.
Jalen Polk.
Did you know?
who the last wide receiver that the Patriots drafted that has reached 1,500 receiving yards in his entire career is.
So that's Steven Chase that?
No.
1,500.
1,500.
Oh, 500.
Oh, sorry.
1,005 was his stat.
1,500.
That's not that.
Yeah, yeah, no, I thought it was 1,005.
I got it.
1,500 isn't that many receiving yards.
We didn't draft receivers forever.
Wait, in his career?
In their entire career.
Oh, that's crazy.
I'm not talking about in a season.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's crazy.
We didn't draft wide receivers forever.
And then we took Nikhil Harry.
He was terrible.
So no.
Julian?
It was Julian Edelman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's from Andy Hutchins.
But yeah, that's a crazy stat, isn't it?
And Polk, was he a second-rounder?
Might have been first.
Second.
Memes saying second.
Second rounder.
Memes on our Patriots beat.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
Where did Jalen Polk go to college?
Yeah, Washington.
Huskins.
Hank's favorite team.
That's right.
Yep, that's right.
That's right.
Yeah, listen, Hank, Drake may look good.
That's what I'm saying.
I feel like it's going to be an
entertaining year.
They're going to be in a lot of these games where it's like they're going to have to grind out wins.
But that was a big step for like
shootout wins.
Drake May should look like that against a Dolphins defense that is bad.
He was almost perfect.
So that's good.
Yeah.
You know?
And he won the game.
It's a rebuilding year.
It's like we got to win.
You know, there's going to be a lot of close games, and
you just got to hope they get good experience out of them.
It was an awesome ending, too.
It was exciting.
And we're just going to forget that you said that you you were going to have the most wins of anyone on this planet.
I mean, we're only one back right now, so
you're going to stand with it.
I'm just saying we're only one back, so.
Okay.
All right.
So you're only one back.
But Big Cat's only one back of you.
That's true.
True.
Same with memes.
Right there.
We're knocking on the door.
Anything could happen.
It's a long season.
It is.
It is a long season.
Yeah, I do think that
it's going to be Mike McDaniel soon, right?
What's the...
Let's just look.
If you get a players-only meeting after one week.
One week.
That's a pretty bad sign.
All right, the Dolphins.
That's not even a player.
That's just telling your coaches, hey, get out of here.
Yeah.
We don't want to talk to you.
All right, I'll make the prediction.
If the Dolphins start 0-5, he will be fired because they play the Bills.
They're going to lose to the Bills in Buffalo, Thursday night football.
Then they play the Jets on Monday night football.
Then they play the Panthers.
If they lose to the Jets and the Panthers, if they don't get one win there, he's done.
I agree.
That's it for him.
And I'm sure he'll be a good offensive coordinator somewhere.
Yeah.
Maybe not a head coach.
Okay.
You can't wear the glasses if you're an offensive coordinator.
Those are winning head coach glasses.
Yes, absolutely.
PFT, you want to do a couple ads, and then we'll get to the last two games of the early slate.
Yeah, before we get to the other games are brought to you by YouTube and YouTube TV.
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Okay,
Rams, Titans.
Rams 33, Titans 19.
I feel like the Rams offense finally woke up because they were in a dogfight with the Titans, 13, 10.5, I believe it was.
And then Matthew Safford was sensational in the second half.
He went 14 for 17, 191 yards, two touchdowns.
They scored on four of their five drives.
Maybe it was a game and a half that the Rams needed to finally wake up.
In the first half, all they really had was like, let's hand the ball off to Puka Nakua.
Yeah.
And then he's going to break something nice for us.
And if you're a Titans fan watching this game, this season's probably going to stink for Titans fans out there.
Oh, yeah.
But we are firmly on guy watch with Cam Ward.
So that's really what you're paying attention to every week.
Is Cam Ward a guy?
Was that throw smart?
That might be.
The touchdown throw we're talking about.
Yeah, the touchdown throw he threw across his body, across the entire field.
That is a throw that a guy would make.
Yeah.
However, that's not a good throw that you want your guy to make because he's going to think that he can do that.
And then it's going to be bad the next time that he tries to do that.
That's a throw against Bethune Cookman.
Yes.
Not against the Los Angeles Rams.
Now, it did work.
Yep.
So credit to him.
But that was a crazy.
I can't imagine they go into film and they're like, hey, good throw, dude.
Great process.
Because that was nuts.
Yeah.
You rarely see that across the body, across the field.
Yeah, they're going to try to tell him not to do that, but since it worked, it's like, good luck telling him that.
Yeah.
Because it ended up being an awesome-looking play.
They even have like some of the super high-definition cameras that tracked it, being like, look at this great play by Cam Ward.
Yep.
Coaches are like, don't ever fucking do that again, please.
Yeah.
But he's going to.
His O-line is not great.
So it's a work in progress.
I do like, I have liked watching Cam Ward.
He's fun to watch play.
This game kind kind of got away from him.
It was actually his fumble in the second half that kind of opened up the floodgates where it was like the Titans were hanging around.
They're one possession game, and then it just kind of ended there.
I would go far as to say that the Titans' offensive line is bad.
Yeah.
Right now, he's on pace to be sacked 93.5 times this year, which actually made me look up the David Carr stats.
So he's been sacked.
How many times did he get sacked today?
I know he got banged up a lot in week one.
Today he had
five sacks.
David Carr, in his first two games, he got sacked 15 times.
Pretty crazy.
But right now, they're on pace to break that record.
He had six sacks in his first game.
What was the David Carr again for the whole first year?
Because Caleb was close.
70.
I can't remember, but it was.
Caleb was close.
Caleb got sacked 68 times last year.
I think it it was 73 or 74 times
for David Carr?
76.
76.
So Caleb was eight away.
So the fact that David Carr got sacked 15 times in his first two games and only got sacked 76 times on the season.
Yeah, pretty good.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Pretty good turnaround.
Offensive line did all right.
Yeah.
Here's a crazy stat I saw.
The Rams are a good football team.
I think we all agree, right?
They played the Eagles the toughest out of anyone last year in the playoffs.
Every year, the the Staffords have been healthy.
They've been in the playoffs.
Do you know this was the largest margin of victory, regular season margin of victory, the Rams have won by since week 13, 2023?
I did not know that.
Isn't that crazy?
They just don't blow anybody out.
They don't blow anyone out.
It's nuts.
That is.
They probably do a great job of running the football.
Yeah, I just,
I saw it and I was like, holy shit, and I went and looked, and they did kill the Vikings last year in the playoffs.
But regular season, every game is 10 points or less, pretty much, until until you go back to week 13, 2023.
So there's, I don't know, there's like 13 or 14 wins in there that none of them were
14 points.
Yeah, McVay is a really good coach.
Brian Callahan, I don't know.
Can we even say if he's a good coach or not?
Yeah, I don't know.
He might be Ken Wisenhunt 2.0.
I like him as a guy.
Yeah, seems like a good dude.
Yeah.
But he learned what a catch is.
He learned what a catch is.
Calvin Ridley has not.
Yeah.
The Titans need to just be a scrappy team this year.
They get the Eagles next.
Or no, sorry, the Rams get the Eagles next week.
Whose lines anyway?
DraftKings Sportsbook.
Where is it?
It's at
Philadelphia.
Eagles minus four and a half.
I was going to say Eagles.
Eagles minus three and a half.
I'll say two and a half.
I think Hank might be right.
What is it?
DraftKings Sportsbook.
It is Eagles minus four and a half.
Oh, wow.
Nice, Hank.
Good job.
Thank you.
You're spot spot on.
All right.
Last game of the early slate.
Ravens 41, Browns 17.
This was an ass-kicking.
It was close, actually, in the first half.
On Deshaun Watson's birthday.
Yeah, Deshaun Watson's birthday.
They wished him a happy birthday on Twitter.
Joe Flacco's returned to Baltimore, which was cool.
Do you see Dennis Pitta wearing our shirt?
He rocked the elite shirt today.
Respect elite shirt.
The hug with Lamar after was awesome.
Nothing else the Browns did was awesome because it wasn't even like the Ravens had
242 total yards of offense and they still won by this margin.
They blocked a punt.
They had a pick return to the six-yard line.
They demolished them.
They didn't even try to run the football.
That was the craziest part about it.
Derrick Henry had 23 yards today.
Yeah, the Browns defense held its own for a half and then it just ran out of gas.
There was nothing else that could be done.
And the Ravens, like that last year, we talked about it on Friday, but last year they lost in a heartbreaker week one.
They lost the Raiders week two.
This feels like they corrected it a little bit, won an easy one, didn't give up a lead late.
Ravens are going to be just fine.
I have a question for you, PFT, and we love Joe Flacco.
Yep.
Why don't they start Dylan Gabriel?
We love Joe Flacco.
I love Joe Flacco, but
the process makes no sense in the fact that Joe Flacco can't play forever.
You drafted Dylan Gabriel.
You might as well find out.
Yeah, well, they put him in.
He had a perfect QBR because he went three for three.
Against the backups for the battle.
Against the backups for the Ravens.
But still, you can't ask for anything better than three for three.
Yeah.
Yeah, they probably should start thinking about that.
I don't think that Stefansky, I don't know what
his relationship is like with Haslam, but I would imagine that the second Haslam says, play Dylan Gabriel, he's going to play Dylan Gabriel.
And until that happens, he's going to be like, I'm going to stick with Joe Flacco because I'm waiting for Haslam to tell me to put Gabriel in because then my clock resets on my job.
Yeah.
That's probably what's going through his head right now.
Okay.
But they should.
I feel like it should just happen.
Yeah.
I think it's about that time.
It should just do it and see what you got.
By the way, did you see the Adam Schefter report before this game that Shador Sanders, the Ravens were going to take him in the fifth round, but before Baltimore could turn in the card, the former Colorado star let it be known that he didn't want to be on the roster with Lamar Jackson, where he would be a backup.
Instead, he's a backup to Dylan Gabriel and Joe Flacco.
And Bailey Zach.
That's a crazy story.
That is, yeah.
I think you'd want to be on the Ravens no matter what.
I mean, the fact that
if you're drafted by any team, a Ravens is probably the top of the list of teams, like from an organizational standpoint, you'd want to be drafted by.
This also tells me that he probably told the Browns, don't don't draft me, if they had already taken Dylan Gabriel, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And because if the Ravens were going to take him in the fifth, then Dylan Gabriel is already on the Browns at that point.
Yeah.
And then
they tell Shadur, hey, we want to draft you.
He probably said, please don't draft me.
And they said, fuck you.
We're going to draft you so hard.
We're going to draft the fuck out of you.
This is the start of a great relationship.
I just, I don't get it.
It's not like Lamar has missed time.
Yeah.
If you told me I had to be a backup anywhere, I think the Ravens would probably be number one.
Lamar and Deion could share a sponsorship with Depends.
Yeah.
Get that same 10 on the sideline for the Ravens games.
Also, credit to Lamar Jackson.
So today, he didn't have the most, he had 225 yards passing, four touchdowns, no interceptions.
Quarterback rating, 128.6.
That makes Lamar Jackson the highest rated NFL quarterback of all time.
All time.
Of all time.
According to QBR.
No, no, not QBR.
Oh, the rating.
The passer rating.
Yeah.
So he officially passed Aaron Rodgers.
Lamar Jackson is the best passing quarterback of all time by the metrics, which is crazy because he's also the best running quarterback of all time.
That is nuts.
That's wild.
I think Lamar might be really good.
I think he's really good.
I think I've seen enough guys.
I think Lamar is really good.
Yeah.
Maybe they draft, maybe they have Lamar play the regular season and then Shador in the playoffs.
Fuck them up when they're not thinking.
That's what they were probably going to do.
The Ravens are also the 13th team in NFL's history to score at least 40 points in each of their first two games, but they're the first to do it without being 2-0.
That's pretty impressive.
Yeah, that is.
Yeah.
Isn't it?
Also,
this is a sad Brown stat, but maybe comforting.
I don't know.
I don't know.
The Browns are a mess.
The Browns have outgained their opponents 649 to 383 through two weeks in their own two.
That's crazy.
That's insane.
That's mostly a Bengals-Browns stat, but yes.
Well, no, today, too.
This game, they did a decent job on defense.
Yeah, and they outgained the Ravens today.
They lost 41 to 17, and they outgained the Ravens.
I think they outgained them by like 100 yards.
So,
yeah, close to 100 yards.
It's not great for the Browns right now.
Let's just say that.
I don't really know what.
I don't know what they're doing.
I don't know where they're going.
They don't know any better.
But But shout out that wedding.
I'm sure those people are happily married now.
You see, there was also a proposal at the Titans game today, too.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
We need this every week.
We need a wedding at the Titans game.
Maybe for their new stadium.
Be like, honey, I booked the newest building in all of Nashville.
It's the Titans' new stadium.
Okay.
Colts, Broncos.
Colts 29, Broncos 28.
The Indianapolis Colts are 2-0 for the first time since 2009.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Pretty crazy.
Well, they haven't won in week one in, like, what?
Yeah, it was since 2013.
Yeah, they're also the first team in the Super Bowl era to not punt in either of their first two games in a season.
Because one of them today was like an illegal...
Was it was
they had a couple turnovers on downs.
And
I think they punted today, but then there was a penalty in there.
They didn't.
Did they actually try to do that?
I think so.
So, yeah, but still, technically,
the Colts have not punted by the NFL rulebook.
That's pretty crazy.
It's nuts.
Booker said that if Daniel Jones can play average, they could be a playoff team.
We still don't know because Daniel Jones has not played.
He's played awesome.
Yeah.
And yet, Daniel Jones was awesome again today.
This was, though, to me,
all-time,
like, yes, the Colts are 2-0.
It's awesome.
Vibes are great.
Jim Ursay season.
They're 2-0 now with Jim Ursais' daughter, the new owner,
on the sideline with the headset, ready to go.
The Broncos completely blew this game.
Big time.
The Broncos had this game.
Bonix was phenomenal in the first half.
Then he had a really bad interception towards the end of the game where they could have, they were in field goal range.
They had some bad penalties.
And then they had the really bad penalty where they were, it was a 60-yard field goal and they got called for leverage, which that is the worst.
I think that's worse than the actual penalty is the ref announcing to everyone penalty on the Broncos for leverage.
Yeah, I don't understand.
I guess the long snapper is technically in a defenseless position.
You can't jump on his back.
You can't touch the long snapper.
He kind of pushed him down and went up a little.
But that should not be a penalty.
No,
it just shouldn't.
Yeah.
And it's also just a funny thing to be like leverage, which you want leverage.
Yeah.
Leverage is a good thing in football.
Yeah.
Not in this.
Penalty on Tyreek Hill for speed.
Yeah.
But it was a blown opportunity for the Broncos because it felt like they had this game one.
They came out of the halftime, felt like they were controlling the game.
Jonathan Taylor, he's awesome still.
He was great.
So, yeah,
awesome.
Daniel Jones played pretty good today.
Jonathan Taylor looked awesome.
Awesome.
He had so many breakaways where it was like, this is the old Jonathan Taylor from a couple years ago.
I thought that the Broncos were the better team overall, but it was a great game.
Yeah.
This was awesome.
It was a very fun game.
And good for the Colts because
they've been stuck in purgatory when it comes to their quarterbacks for a long time.
they put up the sad graphic on the screen where it's just like here's a list of guys that you remember watching play in the post Andrew Luck era.
Yep.
And there are some guys on there.
I had wiped from my memory the Matt Ryan Colts year.
Yeah.
Well, no, I didn't because remember the 12-12 game or 12-9 game, Thursday night football that we watched in that New Jersey gambling house?
That was just, that was one of the most depressing experiences I think we've all shared together.
That was Matt Ryan?
I thought in my head, that was Carson Wentz.
Anything bad?
I think it was Matt Ryan.
Anything bad or boring that's ever happened, I just assume Carson Wentz was the quarterback.
I think it was Matt Ryan versus Russell Wilson.
Broncos Colts.
I'm pretty sure.
That was one of the worst games.
But it actually, I should say, remember, it did get to a point where it was so bad it was kind of good at the end because it was so hilariously bad.
Yeah, it was Matt Ryan and Russell Wilson.
Holy shit, that was a bad game.
2022 overtime game.
And the Colts defeated him.
Yeah, because Russell Wilson, remember, didn't he miss a...
Didn't he
one of his guys, I think it was Cortland Sutton or who was
wide open missing.
Jerry Judy.
Yeah.
Wide open and so pissed about it.
Yeah.
And now, yeah, he was yelling at him after the game.
That was the moment that Russell Wilson was like, oh, shit, this is not going to work out.
And Nathaniel Hackett, man, time is going fast.
I can't believe Nathaniel Hackett interview was three years ago.
That is crazy.
And I remember when Russell missed that one pass, Jerry tweeted out, I think Sierra should give Future another shot.
Yeah.
And then he fell in love with Future or with Little Future, and with Russell Wilson the next year.
Yeah, for an entire season.
That was a bad game.
But yeah, the Colts look good.
I'm happy for Colts fans.
I'm happy for Seth.
Yep.
And they are doing a great job of just getting Tyler Warren the ball at all costs.
He's good.
Yeah.
He's good.
We also had the mascot game was back against the kids.
Always fun
where they just dummy a bunch of little kids in pads.
And the mascot going from despair to celebrating was a very funny wrinkle in this game.
The Colts mascot also, you know, his celebration is a little hump.
Yeah.
Like humps his waist out a little bit.
All the Colts players got next to him and just started fucking the air in unison with him today.
That was good to see.
The vibes are high for the Indianapolis Colts.
Very high.
Yeah.
Shane Steichen can coach a little quarterback.
The quarterback can listen.
And
they got, yeah, it feels good.
Yeah.
Vibes are high.
Who do they play next week?
Because this was a good test.
Although I wasn't all the way in on the Broncos hype.
Titans.
Titans.
So that's
could be 3-0.
Then Rams.
Then Raiders.
They tough.
Then Cardinals.
Yeah.
We could be looking at the Colts.
It will be very interesting to see what happens with the Texans on Monday Night Football.
Texans start 0-2,
which I need, by the way.
We'll get to that in a second.
All right.
Before we do the last two games, and then we have Sunday Night Football.
PFT, you have a couple more ads, and we'll do the last three games.
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Okay, Cardinals Panthers, Cardinals 27, Panthers 22.
This is one of those games that the Cardinals were absolutely dominating, should have covered.
And then we had, so we had the full Kyler experience in, I think it was a matter of three plays, where Kyler had one of the coolest scrambles for, I don't know, 30, 40 yards.
And then he had one of the dumbest interceptions that kind of brought the Panthers back in this game, including a Panthers on-site kick recovery, which we should always celebrate on-site kick recoveries because we never get to see him anymore.
Yeah, I agree with that.
Also, Kyler, it was a 30-yard scramble that he had.
He ended up with 32 yards rushing on seven carries.
It's crazy.
That's nuts to think about.
Kyler, he should run the ball more.
Yeah.
He's very fast, and people lose him behind the big offensive lineman.
I do think he's getting shorter.
He is.
He looked tiny today.
And I was thinking about that.
It's also the fact that the Cardinals always wear the same color jerseys as pants.
Yes.
That makes him look so much shorter.
It's like a little onesie.
He looked like he was in a Christmas story today.
Yep.
But yeah, I actually thought Bryce Young looked even smaller.
than Kyler today.
And it was because Bryce was he was throwing like cute little jump passes where he didn't have to jump, but he was just like putting his whole body into it and really springing up there.
But yeah,
they should let him run the ball more because he's fast as fuck.
He's very good at it.
And it also creates a different thing that the defense has to be on the lookout for.
And when he does that, it's a completely different ballgame.
Was this a statement loss for the Panthers?
Yeah, what's the statement, though?
The statement is maybe we aren't absolute dog shit because for,
I don't know, three quarters, maybe it was like two and a half quarters because I think the Cardinals started the second half going down the field and making it 27 to three so at that point i was like yeah the panthers are maybe the worst team in the nfl and then they actually put in some fight scored 20 unanswered fought back really hard made this a game late had the ball statement loss maybe they could be a frisky saints team well i think what we always see with bryce young has been like right when people think that he's his shittiest he tends to do something that surprises you and he started he fumbled on like the third player.
He looked bad.
He looked really bad today.
And then at the end, it's like, oh, okay, maybe the key is just throw the ball to Macmillan.
Yeah.
And let him just jump up in the air with one hand and just snatch it.
Yeah.
The Cardinals' offense is weird to me because I thought they were going to dominate this game because the Panthers' defense is bad, but it just something's like off.
I don't know if it's Kyler and Marvin Harrison.
It doesn't feel like their run game is really great.
I don't know.
They're 2-0, so they shouldn't complain.
Like, 2-0 is 2-0.
Great.
But yeah,
it just gets to that point.
Like, the second half, they just
couldn't put the Panthers away successfully.
They let them hang around.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's early football.
I don't know.
To be honest with you, this game was on the third TV I was paying attention to until the fourth quarter.
And then I was like, ooh, Bryce, because I'll be honest, Bryce made me look away from this game in the first half.
I was like, this one's over over for the Panthers.
So I guess he's mentally tough if he's able to play that poorly.
So I'm saying, statement loss.
They didn't lose.
They just ran out of time.
Well, they also, we welcome back Hunter Renfro.
Yeah.
Had two touchdowns today.
He's back.
Hunter's back.
That was weird how he just kind of dropped out of the NFL for a while.
And then he came back.
And then he's back, and I guess he's just doing the same things that Hunter Renfro always does.
Yeah, good for him.
A little double move, sure hands.
Coach's son.
Good for the Panthers, I guess.
Yeah, statement loss.
To me, the statement is that Ted McMillan is fucking awesome and just throw the ball in his direction because he's got the biggest catch radius of any receiver that I've seen in a long time.
We're going to find out Cardinals play at the 49ers next week.
I feel like that will be a.
Am I right that the Cardinals' offense, because the 49ers' defense is good, and they're like, hey, what's going on?
Am I right that it's not as smooth as it should be?
I don't trust the Cardinals.
Or is it just early football?
No, I don't trust the Cardinals' offense.
Right.
I don't.
Right.
Explosives.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
uh last game eagles 20 chiefs 17 max
who's on your shit list
what do you mean chris jones
no he that that's just him being a sore loser at the end of the game and realizing that he just lost to the eagles for the third straight time okay uh dean blandino
i don't care Dean Blandino said he was done with the tush push.
It's impossible to officiate.
He said it's bullshit.
From an officiating standpoint, he said,
I can't watch anymore.
Yeah.
Cool.
I have nothing to say about that.
If you want to call it, call it.
If you're not going to call it, we're going to keep doing it.
Okay.
What do you mean by it?
False starts.
Yeah, they're false starts.
I don't give a fuck.
That's the correct response.
Yeah.
By the way, Jay.
If you don't call it, then they're actually not false starts.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah, right.
I'm not going to apologize for referees not calling false starts.
Right.
But would you if
like
they are false starts, yes.
So you should apologize.
Nope.
Okay.
Don't care.
Jalen Hurts did have 101 yards.
So he did.
Yeah.
Chris Jones was wrong.
I think what was the exact thing?
He was like, you didn't even have 100 yards.
He was like, you didn't even have 100 yards.
And he was like.
We won the fucking game eat shit or something.
Yeah.
Yeah,
it doesn't matter because Jalen Hurts, like, the Eagles don't have to be able to pass the ball.
Jalen Hurts doesn't have to be able to throw for 300 yards.
He doesn't.
They're going to run the football.
They're going to have their offensive lineman just shove you over repeatedly until you stop it.
And then if he can take a couple shots downfield now and again, he's got great receivers and there's not a lot you can do about it.
You don't want him to be throwing the ball 35 times a game.
Right.
That's not, that's not what your team is built around.
Just because you don't have a quarterback that is putting up the craziest numbers in the stat sheet doesn't mean that you don't have a great football team that is winning games, which is what he's designed to do.
Correct.
This game was a tough watch.
It was a rock fight, but the Eagles' defense looked good, and they won the rock fight, so who cares, right?
Yeah, no, I would like a little bit more creativity on offense.
I saw a lot of wide receiver screens, quick slants.
I would like
a little bit of something.
The Spagnola just dialed up a blitz every single time.
I think he blitzed on like 60% of plays.
plays.
Oh, that one sack was so sick where they like closed like Jalen Hurts jumped and he fucking smashed him.
Oh, yeah, he got smoked.
That was
sick.
Well, he was trying to scramble away from the pass rush and he just scrambled right into a tackle.
Pigat, do you know who Kansas City's leading rusher is this season?
It's Patrick Mahomes.
Patrick Mahomes.
Is Patrick Mahomes a glorified running back?
Well, so.
Gotta be able to throw the ball in this league.
The Chiefs are, they don't look good.
I know they played two good teams, but they don't look good.
Their offense does not look good.
Patrick Mahomes has not looked sharp.
Lil Bro ass.
They're 0-2
for the first time in Patrick Mahomes' career.
Patrick Mahomes has
lost three times in a row, which is the first time that's happened since 2017.
And this is their first time they're 0-2 since 2014.
The Chiefs are 0-2.
Yeah.
0-2 is a crazy record for the Chiefs.
It is.
Once in a lifetime.
I really, really need the Texans to lose on Monday night.
Otherwise, I was looking at it, and the Chiefs are literally the only team I could lose.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I don't know what to say.
I need the Texans to lose.
Because I was looking at the 0-2 teams, and the only argument for a team that had legitimate Super Bowl aspirations would be the Houston Texans.
Every other team that is 0-2 was a dog shit team.
Here are the 0-2 teams: Jets, dolphins browns
uh titans
chiefs
giants bears
saints panthers yeah it's literally just the texans go oh and two or the chiefs for my pinky you know who really fucked you over was memes by losing to the steelers in week one i know because then the the steelers would have been a great team
for aaron rods yeah perfect unfortunately
But
the Chiefs are going to get healthy.
Like, that's.
Nah.
But are they good?
I know the Texans to lose.
I need the Texans to lose.
I need the Texans to lose.
I cannot have the Chiefs be because you know the Patrick Mahomes, and it will be such torture in the playoffs because you know they're going to win playoff games because they always do.
But can Patrick Mahomes win?
That's a Sicko's dream tonight.
Can Patrick Mahomes win?
Sicko's dream bet.
For people who are maybe new to the show, every year I pick a pinky team that's 0-2, starts season 0-2, and I say, this team will not win the Super Bowl.
And if they do, I'll cut off the very tip of my pinky.
For the Chiefs, it might even be more of the very tip of my pinky.
But we've had two teams in the nine years I've been doing this make the playoffs.
The Texans, the year they won like 10 in a row, the J.J.
Watt, Arian Foster, Letterman Jacket year, and then last year, the Rams.
What?
That was not the Arian Foster, J.J.
Watt year.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I don't even think we were doing the show when that was happening.
When did they do the Letterman jacket?
That was like 2014.
Oh.
All right, well, whatever.
The Texans made the playoffs, whatever it was, 2016, 2014.
That was the Vrabel.
Vrabel was on the staff, I think.
What year did they do the
Letterman jacket?
Oh, yeah, it does look like a young J.J.
Watt.
That was Arian's idea, by the way.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Do you have a date?
I think it was 2014.
Okay.
That says I still don't know if I have the Letterman Jacket.
All right, so that was
four years later.
It says,
it wasn't the Letterman Jacket, but it was the Texans year where they won like nine in a row after I picked them.
And then last year, the Rams.
The Rams were probably the closest because the Rams were a good team last year.
If you pick the Chiefs and they win the Super Bowl, you know that Taylor Swift's going to be watching that live stream.
Oh, yeah.
By the way, should we talk about Tay Jay?
So that's really what it's at.
I need the Texans to lose.
The Texans will be my pinky team if they lose.
If not, it's going to have to be the Chiefs.
And going to
probably lose a pinky.
Eventually I'm going to lose a pinky.
We're going to do this show for the next 40 years.
I'm going to do this bet every year.
Let's say I'm going to lose the pinky.
Let's play in the south, though.
Let's think about it.
It's the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
We're in San Francisco.
It is the Kansas City Chiefs against the Green Bay Packers.
What do you do?
I'd lose a pinky for that.
The tip of my pinky, I'm going to go.
You'd be rooting for the Chiefs at that point.
This is making pinkies.
Oh, I would definitely be rooting for the Chiefs.
I mean, that could happen.
Bucks, yeah.
I mean, Bucs is the play tonight for sure.
I need the Bucs to win.
Also, apparently, Zach had a great take on the title.
I mean, Texans is the play tonight.
Oh, what do you got?
Running the mill take.
I just think the dynasty's over.
Oh, I think Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes Daniel's finished.
Yep.
There you go.
So you're like, Pinky is fine.
I'm not going to speak for your body parts, but I do think their dynasty is over.
Okay.
Pinky could be good.
But hopefully, you know, I would like to see the Texans lose tomorrow as well, so you can take the Texans.
Yeah, I would take the Texans.
Zach, what are you seeing out of the Chiefs that make you think the dynasty's over?
I don't have an in-depth knowledge on why it feels such a way, but usually when they pan the camera to Andy Reid, he's got a certain amount of like...
Girth?
That a lot of times, yes.
But he always looks calm and collected, but this time it almost looks a little hollow.
It looks a little empty.
Like, oh, are we still there?
I'm not sure.
I don't think he thinks they're still there.
You know what it is?
It's the mustache turning gray, like, in the middle.
It looks like he's withering away.
Fading away.
We got other grown men throwing timber tantrums on the sideline early in the game.
Like, I saw Blake has some grays.
He's only like two years old, but he's got some grays that are coming right around the mouth.
And when I saw that, I got sad.
I was like, oh, poor guy.
That's how I feel now when I look at Andy Reid.
Andy Reid, great guy, but Dinesh might be over.
Great guy.
Travis Kelsey might be back.
What do you mean?
He looked good today.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Except he lost the game.
Yeah, but I'm saying like when he caught and ran, like
athleticism was pretty good today.
Yeah, but he did pretty much lose him the game.
I know, but I'm saying like he might be the rumors of his demise might have been a bit exaggerated because he looked faster than he had than I saw him all last season.
But that was.
That one stiff arm play was good.
Yeah.
But that play was not a Travis Kelsey play.
The not turning his head around quick enough and having the ball bounce into like that, that was a disastrous, disastrous play.
I actually thought that maybe
he's back athletically, but
his head's not back because Taytay might be pregnant.
Did you see her coming into the stadium?
I saw that there was a black screen set up.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's the rumor.
I'm so dumb.
That's the rumor.
I just thought that.
Did you see her?
She didn't want to be photographed.
Hank?
No.
They have a wall.
A modesty wall.
Literally created a wall for her entrance, and they rolled it as she walked in.
Look at this.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Something interesting.
What a divo.
Something interesting.
I don't know if that's a pregnant.
That's the most dramatic shit I've ever seen.
I don't know.
That's the most dramatic shit I've ever seen.
I don't know.
It's a bit early for big cat.
They're not even married.
That's true.
How would that be possible?
Just get engaged.
But shotgun wedding?
I saw the pregnancy or the engagement pictures.
She wasn't pregnant in those.
Well, it's not showing.
Not showing.
Right.
Now, maybe it's a month later.
She needs a wall.
She could wear a jacket, though.
She could.
Or she could wear a wall.
You don't need a wall guy to walk around next to you.
Why have to put on a big jacket when you could wear a wall?
Maybe she got a bad haircut.
Although, didn't last year,
wasn't she put in like a vending machine or something?
Popcorn.
Yeah.
They put Taylor Swift in a vending machine?
They hit her in a popcorn machine.
Yeah, memes backed me up on that.
Yeah, it was like a popcorn machine.
Yeah.
Is there a chance the Chiefs out make the playoffs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, they're only your panky team.
Let's bring it up.
I would much rather have it be the Texans.
Let's bring it the stats.
Team.
Well, it's because also the AFC West is tough.
I mean, the Chargers are good.
The Broncos seem like they're good.
The Raiders are friskier than they've been.
I know this is only through one week.
They did play the Eagles tough, but it never felt like the Chiefs were going to pull away or anything.
And that last, like, it was a 20-10 game.
Then they just started bombing the ball to Taekwondo, who is very fast, missed a couple of those.
Yeah, I don't know.
It definitely.
Hank, going like, remember when the Patriots used to go 0-2?
It's like, it's over, and then Zach is playing the role of Max Kellerman right now?
No, the Chiefs look bad.
This is different.
This is much different.
They look bad.
They look bad.
It's way different.
They don't have any weapons.
Their offense looks so.
I mean, the fact that Patrick Mahomes is running the ball as much as he is in week two tells me something's wrong.
Because he runs the ball usually like playoffs when he has to win.
And it's like, I need to play.
And he ran the ball a lot today.
On the broadcast, I think they said that exact thing.
It was like, normally I don't like to run until the playoffs,
but this year I feel like I need to.
I think.
He's also throwing his body around a little bit more.
Which talks about the future.
Which is case he did kind of fuck up when he was the Eagles.
That was kind of silly.
Chiefs players also wearing like free rice shirts is crazy.
Free Rice.
Rashi Rice?
I guess Rashi Rice is going to come back, and so is Xavier Worthy.
That actually, okay.
That's what I told you.
I was like, they're going to get back to the back.
Xavier Worthy's coming back.
Not healthy.
Well,
I don't know.
I think the Chiefs, big head, only 9% of teams that start out 0-2 make the playoffs.
It's a 90% chance that you don't have to even worry about your pinky.
That's actually crazy that I've been doing this for eight years, and
two times I've had a a playoff team.
Yeah.
That's not, that's less, that's higher than 9%.
Well, it's because you picked some of the better Owen teams.
Yeah.
Yeah, true.
Is Jake Elliott back, Max?
Jake Elliott is looking very bad.
He looks very bad.
He's awesome again.
Yeah.
So you feel good.
2-0, feel good.
I feel good.
I could feel better.
Defense looked better.
But offense look better.
Has not played great for six quarters now.
Yes.
Yeah.
And you have the new play caller, so that makes you a little nervous because last time you did the play caller thing, you had a year from hell.
Well, we've had five offensive coordinators in six years.
Right, but I'm saying you had Shane Steichen went to a Super Bowl, lost him, had a year from hell, then last year had
Kellen Moore.
You hope that Kevin Petula is more Kellen Moore than he is.
Who was in the year from hell?
Johnson,
Brian.
Yeah, yeah, Brian Johnson or whatever.
I don't know.
That's the guy that's trying to live forever and charts his cum.
I think that is his name.
Yeah, it's the guy that he charts his son's boners.
Boners, yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Also, the singer BC.
Memory is insane.
What?
Memes pulls
this memory stuff all the time.
He just knows everything.
Good memory, memes.
Good memory.
Okay, last one.
I have the Roback question.
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Is J.J.
McCarthy bad?
That's what he wants you to think.
He was bad tonight.
He was ass.
He was ass.
He got his ass kicked.
And I also just want to say credit to the Falcons.
I think the Falcons' defense is really good.
It does make me a little nervous that if we're doing the transitive property game, what are our biggest takeaways from week two?
Because watching the Falcons demolish the Vikings makes me think the Bears are even worse than I thought,
and that was than I thought four hours ago after they got a 50 burger put on them.
Yeah, that's bad for you.
And the Packers, I think those are the biggest two transitive property takeaways.
The Packers.
The Packers are really, really, really good.
Yep.
And the Bears are really, really, really, really ass.
Steelers might be bad.
Yep.
That might be a transitive property one.
Yep.
Good job.
Yeah, that was good.
Yeah.
I like that.
No, he's the one that sucks.
Don't forget about him.
Yeah, I'd say that those are the two most fair takeaways from that because you start to run into circular logic with any other team.
But you can look at those.
It's too early to do this, but it's fun to do it.
It's fun to be like, oh, we have two data points.
Let's just make some sweeping generalizations from all of it.
Because you could say that the Vikings have played four halves and three out of the four halves have sucked offensively.
The Falcons didn't look great on offense.
They just kicked a shitload of field goals.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, they did.
Parker Romo.
Yeah, but
the J.J.
McCarthy discourse is going to be very fun to watch this
because, yeah, he played like dog shit.
I will say in J.J.
McCarthy's defense, he's obviously, I think
Kelly got hurt.
Darasau is still not playing.
Addison's still not playing.
Also had a baby like
48 hours ago.
So probably not the most ideal setting.
No, the Falcons had, I think, a pretty good game plan.
They just sucked in the red zone.
They just couldn't punch it in when it was close.
They had penalties, they had all sorts of miscues.
But Bijan Robinson was awesome today.
Their game plan seemed to be just get him the ball any possible way that you can.
It was a great game plan, and then they just fucked it up with procedural stuff and couldn't get in the red zone or in the end zone when they were in the red zone.
And for the Falcons, you haven't had a defensive game like this in a long time, so this probably feels very good.
Did they sack JJ McCarthy five times in the first half alone, I believe?
I think it was six total, but five times in the first half.
They were all over the place, felt like they were flying.
So, yeah,
Falcons might be good.
I think they are.
And I think Pennix is good.
Pennix might be good.
I don't think he's very good yet, but I think he's good.
I think that the Falcons, when they probably signed Kirk Cousins and said, hey, this is a smokescreen.
No one's going to think that we're going to draft Michael Pennix, so he'll fall to us.
So let's just pay this guy $100 million so we get our guy.
And it worked.
Galaxy brain thinking.
Yep.
Yeah.
Okay, any other big takeaways from week two, like
big-time one?
So Chiefs bad.
Bears, Jets, ass.
Steelers might be bad.
Falcons might be good.
Aubrey better than Tom Brady.
Aubrey better than Tom Brady.
Yeah, don't let PFT draft a team for you.
Nope.
Lions Lions good.
Lions good.
Ravens really good.
But we knew that.
Bill's really good.
Patriots?
Bad.
AFCs, bad.
Bad.
Easy for the Bills.
Bad.
Patriots bad
or Patriots question mark.
Patriots bad.
Patriots, yeah.
Patriots are not.
It's hard to win on the road.
They, yeah.
Maybe sneak in the battle.
Hard to beat Tua.
Very tough.
0-7 against Tua up until today.
Especially with a shitty kicker.
Yeah.
Good against bad teams.
Struggle against good teams.
Okay.
What would be, I guess the only thing that could happen on Monday night football that would make me feel a little bit better if the Texans end up winning is if the Chargers then lose.
Because then maybe the Chiefs are really bad.
Yeah.
Or maybe
the transit of property.
Yeah.
And
best case.
Worst case for that would be that the Raiders might be good because then they'll also beat the Chiefs.
Also be a formidable yeah so if the if the Raiders beat the Cheat or beat the Chargers no worries because then they're going to kick the shit out of the Chiefs.
Right.
Got it.
Right.
Okay.
Should we do who's back of the week and we will end the show?
Who's Back of the Week?
Hank.
My Who's Back of the Week is Twisted T.
Oh,
let's go.
New alcohol sponsor alert, at least.
I didn't even realize it was sitting here the whole time.
Twisted T, I mean,
this is a beautiful, beautiful moment for me personally.
I'm sure you guys as well.
I love Twisted Teas going back to the day I turned 21.
It was my favorite thing to drink.
Best thing to drink in the summer.
Best thing to drink anytime, really.
Yep.
Twisted Tea, the official hard iced tea of part of my take.
Yes.
Love that.
Beautiful, beautiful future coming.
That was
great flavors, too.
Great flavors.
Original peach, half and half, raspberry.
Peach, my favorite.
Sipping on.
an OG right now.
So Who's Back the Week is sponsored by Twisted Tea.
That's kind of funny, Hank.
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Twisted Tea is the perfect alcohol beverage to keep the good times going all season long, whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, catching a game at the stadium or at the bar, or just seeing where the day takes you.
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Keep it twisted.
Grab a tea.
It's game time.
Stock up on ice cold Twisted Tea Today.
We want people to tweet us.
Tweet us your Twisted Teas.
These big boy cans are great.
I don't think they do it anymore, but when they used to put the pictures on the back of the bottles, oh, they do.
I used to try so hard to get on.
We should try to get on the back.
We should actually
try to get these.
I used to try so hard to get on the back of these.
People tweet us your pictures with your Twisted Teas.
So Eddie had his block party like a month and a half ago, and he had every single alcohol you can imagine stocked in his fridge.
I drank Twisted Teas the whole night.
That was before they even came on.
I absolutely love Twisted Teas.
Super refreshing.
They are so, so good.
So we're Twisted Tea podcast now.
Tweet us your picture of you hanging out with Twisted Tea.
Great, like, great sipping on the couch drink.
You know what I mean?
Like, just sitting down, having a couple Twisted Tees at the end of the night, having a couple Twisted T's while you watch some football.
Or a tailgate.
Like,
maybe it's, you know, in the morning, like, you don't want to, you don't want to get too crazy.
You just want to ease into it.
Twisted T.
I was going to say, start of the night, Twisted Tea.
Yeah.
Hot day, Twisted Tea.
Yeah, on a boat, Twisted Tea.
Hank, do you have another who's back?
Yeah, my other who's back is Ken Rosenthal.
Yes.
I saw this video.
I saw it tonight.
Whitney tweeted it.
I saw it from Ryan Whitney.
Our colleague tweeted it.
It was a post-game.
He was about to do an interview player, which is pretty normal in baseball.
The player who was about to get interviewed, his teammate came over, dumped
the water, Gatorade, whatever it was, on him.
And then Ken Rosenthal tried to get out of the way.
There was a guy behind him who just happened to be in Ken's way.
And Ken Rosenthal looked like he might have taken the guy out back and murdered him.
He was so mad at him.
I've never seen someone look more.
He literally shot, like, looked daggers through this guy's soul.
It was so funny.
Staring him at, bowled him over like he was Derrick Henry.
Yeah.
And then just stood over him, staring him down.
Don't get in Ken Rosenthal shot.
Like, hey, what the fuck?
That's a man right there.
Oh, and then he gave a little, like, I'm sorry afterwards, but you can't hide what his initial reaction was.
No.
His initial reaction was like, yeah, a running back getting into the end zone on like a fourth and one from the winter.
I don't even, I don't think he gave it.
I don't think he gave it.
I'm sorry.
No, he started shaking his head as he's walking.
Yeah, you motherfucker.
Why would you be there?
He was so pissed.
We got to tell our story, even though we've told it before.
Because someone tweeted at me today.
So every time I see Ken Rosenthal, Hank and I on the flight
with Ken Rosenthal sitting across from us.
I forgot about it.
I forgot about it until someone tweeted me because I tweeted the video this morning when I first saw it.
And someone was like, every time I see Ken Rosenthal, I think of the story of you and Hank told on the podcast a few years ago.
It was actually like seven years ago.
We get, I think we were going to Miami.
We got to Miami.
Ken Rosenthal just in this, we land, the seatbelt thing goes off.
Everyone stands up.
Ken Rosenthal, in one just perfect motion, hopped up onto his seat to get his to go to his overhead compartment and get his bag down.
And Hank and I witnessed it, and we were just dying laughing.
Was he wearing the bow tie?
I think he might have been.
I don't know.
He was probably like a quarter zip.
But it was such a move that we knew he did that every time because he did it so quickly.
It was just like ding, boom.
He hopped right up, grabbed his bag, hopped right down.
Sports journalists.
Never seen it before.
They're creatures of habit.
If he did that once, that means he does that every time he's on a plane.
I got a system.
Hank and I were just, because you're sitting right across from like did we just see that is that really what just happened and and you're right he does not like wave to him to say i'm sorry he's got his palm up like what the fuck are you doing he's mad i thought the palm was down being like my bad no he's just like what the fuck asshole yeah yeah oh man uh okay good who's back good who's back pft Great who's back.
My who's back is another guy getting run over.
Yeah.
Brian Kelly.
Yeah.
Got run over again on the sidelines.
And we'll talk more about college football on Wednesday, but that was so fun.
He got absolutely truck sticked on the sidelines.
I think America, I don't know if people still root for LSU, like definitely not like they did when Coach O was there, but LSU has always been a likable school.
Yeah.
And I find myself liking them in spite of Brian Kelly.
I still want bad things to happen to Brian Kelly as LSU does good.
And that was just a perfect moment that we got to watch.
It was.
Where it was, yes, LSU is kicking the shit out of Florida, and Brian Kelly's also maybe getting a little bit injured on the sidelines.
And then he had an all-time press conference.
He flipped out at a reporter for being like, Yeah, had a little Calhoun in him.
Yeah, he was like, Your running game's not that good.
I'll just say it.
And then Brian Kelly was like, Did you watch the game?
You see the last play of the game?
Checkmate.
Yeah.
The guy prefaced it to him.
He's like, Oh, I know the game has ended.
You don't like to do this, but you know, what'd you think out there?
And you're like, No, we're not doing this.
Like, you know,
that was like more Bratty than Calhouny.
Yeah.
But he, yeah,
when he said, you're spoiled, that's what I think you are.
You're spoiled.
Brian in the back, I know you love these immediate post-game sessions, but what are you seeing with your offense?
Stop.
Really?
We won the game 20 to 10.
Try another question.
What do you want me to tell you?
Try another question.
We played the game to win the game.
We played the game to win the game.
All right.
How about third down then?
What is going on with third down?
It's one game.
Last game, we were great on third down.
You're micro, you're looking at this from the wrong perspective.
LSU won the football game.
Won the game.
I don't know what you want from me.
What do you want?
You want us to win 70 to nothing against Florida to keep you happy?
No, I think people want to know why you can't run the ball quite often.
We can run the ball.
Did you see the last play of the game?
That's all you need.
You just need one.
There's ridiculous questions.
And I'm getting tired of it.
That football team just worked their tail off to get an sec win and you want to know what's wrong you know what you you're spoiled you're spoiled this team is 17 and one at night 17 and one give them some respect you're still how about that i love it by the way last week they played louisiana tech yeah and they won 23 to 7 yeah yeah i think it's a fair question by the way I have a question for you guys, and this is kind of similar, but there was a viral tweet going around that was like,
here's all the apps and everything you need to watch every game today.
And I know that's a big discussion because NBA has split it up,
and that's different because NBA is like, that's one league.
College football is the one spot where I actually don't have a problem that you have to, because there was a day not too long ago, you know, 10, 15 years ago, where you couldn't watch any of these games.
Yes.
Because
it's not like there's going to be one provider that's capable of sharing every single game because there's so many of them.
Right.
It's not like the NFL splitting up is kind of bullshit where it's like, oh, yeah, and we have Amazon, then you got to get YouTube TV and all this stuff.
But like college football, you just didn't watch half the games because you just didn't have access to them.
I'm actually, that's the one sport where I'm like, yes, thank you that you actually have given me the chance to be able to watch every game.
And if you're a casual college football fan, guess what?
You don't need all those apps.
No.
You just need a couple.
But I'm, yeah, because I know that's like a, that's a very,
like, I understand it for all the other professional leagues, but college football, when I saw that one, I was like, wait, I, I'm pumped that I actually have access to all these games now where you used to not be able to.
Yeah.
Okay, my who's back of the week.
I have two.
The first is Anthony Rizzo because he retired as a cub on Saturday, all-time cub,
one of my favorite cubs.
He had an incredible day.
He went in the bleachers.
Belisteros hit his first career home run, and it hit Rizzo in the hand.
The odds of that happening are so insane.
So insane.
It's crazy, but also respect to everybody that was around Rizzo because they all kind of backed off and let Rizzo have a shot at it.
Yeah.
And then Rizzo threw it back, which was awesome
so he could have his home run ball.
But yeah, the odds of him sitting in the bleachers, he bought everyone a beer.
He was wearing his jersey.
He retired in a jersey that was signed by all the kids that he visited at the cancer hospital when he was a cub.
He's obviously a cancer survivor.
Just an all-time, all-time guy, all-time cub.
He was there before they got good.
He was there for the World Series.
I was able to catch up with him on Saturday night because he had a party and it was like just trading memories with him for like 10 minutes was so awesome.
He's just the best.
So really cool, like perfect day, perfect weather, everything.
Got to catch that ball.
He said, but he thought quick on his feet.
He's like, that's why I'm retired, which is a great classic movie.
Like, that's a dad joke, but it works.
He's a dad.
But if he catches that ball, that is the coolest moment I've ever had.
Oh, yeah.
He should have brought a glove.
Yeah.
I was trying to get him to get in at bat.
Foul ball guy would make that grab.
But he's one of those, like, there's, you know, a lot of sports figures you look up to, or you idolize, or, you know, you put on a pedestal.
He's one guy that you can because he is just the best dude ever.
He actually, so at this party, like, this is how cool of a dude Anthony Rizzo is.
At this party on Saturday night, uh, I talked to these two guys came up to me, and they're like, hey, big AWL has been listening to the beginning.
I was like, how do you guys know Rizzo?
He was like, Rizzo, we housed Rizzo when he was a minor leaguer in Portland, Maine.
That's cool.
Like, 14 years ago, and Rizzo invited them out, the whole family out for his retirement.
That's awesome.
Isn't that insane?
Like, that's awesome.
It's very, very cool.
He's like, yeah, Rizzo has kept in touch with us ever since.
Like, all we we did was, that's what minor leaguers, you know, like that, they house, the families house different players.
It's like, he's kept in touch with us ever since.
He's always made us feel included.
Just an awesome dude.
Yeah.
And also, it's very cool that he's retiring as a cub and just being like, yeah, this is where my heart is.
Yeah.
My home is.
Yeah, I think they're going to, I think he's doing some like ambassador work.
So it's cool that the Cubs are not fucking this one up.
Bad first pitch, though.
That's why he's retired.
Yeah, that's why he's retired.
That's why he's retired.
Okay, and my other, who's back, is boxing because that Bud Crawford Canelo fight was awesome.
I don't know if you guys are able to watch it.
I watched it in the morning because I could not.
It started so late.
I saw the highlights of it.
It was an ass kicking.
Yeah, it was awesome.
Boxing might be back unless...
Rigged?
Not rigged.
Oh, one of the undercards, maybe.
Oh, what are you talking about?
The stoppage and the undercard?
Is that what you're talking about?
Are you talking about Adrian's getting the phone call?
He had a million-dollar wager on Canelo, and then he got a phone call right before the fight was like, you got to switch your your bet to an unnamed guy.
I just got one of those calls.
Well, Crawford's really good.
That's fair.
That's just speculation on Maybe Rig.
That's the only.
Okay.
And Canelo's kind of old.
I don't know how you would rig that, though.
If you're talking about the judges, everybody that watched that was like, yeah, Crawford won.
That was the right decision.
Yeah, I don't think Canelo would take a dive.
He's a pretty proud guy.
But either way, boxing back until Mike Tyson fights someone.
I think he's fighting Fayweather.
Yeah, can't wait.
Did you see him give a punch to Mr.
Beast and like almost knock Mr.
Beast out?
Just a body punch.
It was awesome.
It's going to be the worst fight ever.
Yeah.
But hey, if it's on Netflix, it'll be free, right?
So that'll be cool.
Yeah.
That'll be cool.
All right.
Zach.
My Who's Back of the Week is the new, is the Colts owner Carly Ursay because she was not only on the sidelines again this week, headphones in, listening to every play call, and with the notepad, taking down notes, she's also seen with kind of a massive cuban-link chain on, which I thought was a wild move from an owner.
It looked very powerful.
I just wanted to say that she looks like a force to be reckoned with on the sideline today.
I like that.
Zach, is she single?
I believe maybe married.
Okay.
Looks like a ring.
Or no, I was going with
the massive chain she's rocking here in this photo.
Well,
I just, it looked powerful.
I wasn't sure if she was coming out as a debut artist, maybe dropping an RB album, or if
just trying to accessorize it like a
Justin Jefferson train.
Carly, if you're single, similar.
Zach is single?
Imagine Zach owned the Colts.
That'd rock.
We'd still make you do the podcast.
I would want nothing more.
Okay.
I love being here.
That would be very funny if you had a helicopter in
the game.
Zach's just walking behind her on the sideline.
Helicopter may be the most unsafest way to travel.
Submarine.
Never mind.
I would I don't know.
I'm just throwing out other ways.
You threw that out there.
James Cameron's pretty good on a sub.
The Challenger?
The Rocket?
The Challenger?
That has to be one of the most unsafe ways, right?
Those three-wheeler cars, they look pretty unsafe.
Oh, yeah.
Slingshots?
Yeah.
I saw a guy in my neighborhood riding one of those around, like, just as he just wasn't.
Like, what are you doing, dude?
I would say.
It's like an old guy, too.
Number one most unsafe way to travel?
Catapult.
Catapult.
Yeah.
Catapult.
Definitely high up there.
Hot air balloon?
Yeah, fuck that.
Hot air balloon would be very unsafe.
Did ever tell you about the hot air balloon accident?
No.
I went on
a hot air balloon when I was living in Texas, and then like a year later, that same hot air balloon went up in the air, crashed, deadliest hot air balloon accident in the history of the United States.
Whoa.
And the guy that was the pilot was my pilot, and he was loaded up on like nine different drugs.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Never again.
Hot air balloon.
Shoosh.
Never again.
Never again.
Do you guys have any picks?
Oh, Zach, do you want to say anything about the Bucks game?
Bucks, Texans?
I'm looking forward to the Bucs going to play in Texans.
I don't want to say too much.
I don't want to overcome.
What's the numbers?
Three.
You're a piece of shit.
22.
Zach feels a little embarrassed that I used him as a Trojan horse in that conversation.
67.
Zach, I would like to hear your thoughts on the game real quick.
Not too many thoughts.
I just want us to go there.
I want to get away.
23.
There we go.
Are you going to watch with Steven Che?
Yeah, I'd love to watch the game.
20.
Okay.
33.
You got to win, Zach, for my pinky.
You got to win.
You got to win.
We're going to put out such an effort for you, Pinky.
You got to win.
We're both of them Texans.
What's your number, memes?
20.
Brees Hall.
He had a hell of a game today.
Yeah.
He'll probably be a chief.
Did you say your number, PFT?
67.
Hank, everyone do it again.
22.
99, Pope.
33.
64.
19.
76.
Good luck, Shane.
Any thoughts on the Chargers real quick?
Hope we win.
Bolt up.
93.
Does someone have 93?
No.
93.
Love you guys.