Playoff Baseball, CFB With Brandon Walker, Ole Miss Head Coach Lane Kiffin, Jets And Bengals Are A Disaster + Guys On Chicks

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On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, the crown is yours.

We have a twofer for the people.

We have the finest of Mississippi.

We have Brandon Walker in studio.

talking some college ball narrative talk.

Great time with Brandon, our number one college football expert.

We also have old miss coach Lane Kiffin on the show.

So we're talking a lot of college football.

We're going to talk some playoff baseball.

Monday night football was a double

disappointing games, but the Broncos look very good.

The Jets, we do a little status check with memes on the Jets.

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Bart and my tape.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Martin Mighty.

Yeah.

Bart and my tank.

Yeah.

Bart and my tank.

Welcome to Part of My Take.

Today is Wednesday, October 1st, and October means one thing, PFT.

Playoff baseball.

We started the wild card, and it was Haas Day.

I was going to say it's time to wake up Billy Joe Armstrong.

Yes, you're also correct.

Tarek Skubel was awesome today.

What did he have?

14 strikeouts?

14 strikeouts.

Tarek Skubel was a Haas.

Garrett Crochet was a Haas.

Blake Snell was a Haas.

First time I think he's ever had

six innings.

What are you doing there, Hank?

What are you doing?

South Paul.

South Paul Day.

The Hauses came to play today.

We had the opening

round of the wild card in playoff baseball, which underrated day.

We were saying it.

The boys were chopping it up before we were recording.

We're doing this on Zoom right now.

We're back in studio for the rest of the show with Brandon Walker and Lane Kiffen.

We were saying this is kind of underrated.

It's a sneaky, great, great day in the sports calendar year where you're like, oh, shit, we get four baseball games all day.

And we just like noon hits and you're like, holy shit, it's playoff baseball time.

It's a really good day, but I think maybe the all-time great day talk might be influenced influenced by the fact that you guys have three teams in the playoffs that you're all super excited about.

That's fair.

That's totally fair.

It was mostly Max loves baseball.

Max's a baseball guy.

He is through and through.

And he was saying that.

He loves baseball.

He was tuned into every day.

He's a seam head.

That's facts, Max, right?

Yeah, I know.

Meaningful sports that are that

mean this much during the day, the workday don't come around often.

That's true.

So it's like, that's all I was saying is that

there's only a few days in in the calendar year?

Well, I said meaningful meaningful sports that mean this much

during the day don't come around that often.

I mean, you're right, like having having good, meaningful sports on during a meaningful day is extra meaningful, right?

Big time, and it's meaningful to me, right?

And that's really what matters.

And it's, yeah, it means a lot to you.

Uh, but yeah, let's let's let's break down what do you got, hey.

I just can't get over ever since Zach has joined these uh Zoom calls with the nice camera, looking at Zach and then looking at Max looking like he's doing like sales.

Yeah.

It's just, it's tough to get over.

Zach,

it's a wild difference.

Zach's camera, like,

I don't want to take this in a weird direction, but it does look like we're about to enter a porn with Zach.

You know, like those, like, they're like, oh, shit, it's the 4K girl with the POV glasses.

Holy shit, you can feel like you're getting fucked.

That's what I feel like Zach's about to do to us.

No porn over here.

Okay.

All right.

Well, it is.

I also like how his camera's like off-center just a little bit that he's looking into.

It's kind of cool.

It's like we're all looking at the screen at each other, and Zach's like, yeah, chilling off to the side.

Like, you're looking at me, but I might not be looking at you.

Yeah.

I could fix that.

No, no.

Shit, the eye contact a little bit.

No, it looks great.

All right.

Let's break down the games.

Game one, Tarek Skubel.

Incredible performance, 14 strikeouts.

Tigers got in a little bit of trouble there in in the ninth with Javi Baez having an error.

It looked like the Guardians, like the Guardians, at least the way they finished the season, have some Team of Destiny type of vibes.

And when that happened, it was like, oh boy, they're about to waste Terek Skubel's 14-strikeout performance.

A total, like he just shoved in every definition because he's had some starts.

I think it was, what, a week ago where he lost to the Guardians.

So this was like, yeah, I am the boss.

I am the man.

I'll come into Cleveland.

I'll do this.

And they almost blew it, but they were saved in the end.

And

the Tigers, like, this is the beauty of October.

They finished the season so bad, and now they're up one, and it's a new season for them.

Yeah, it was a week ago.

I think he hit somebody in the face.

Yeah.

Then he came back and pitched almost as many pitches as he's pitched this year in a game, was still hitting the high velocity at the end.

And if you beat him, you can't give up like rinky-dink runs.

You can't let the Tigers luck into any runs out there because you're not going to get it back against Scoobel.

Yeah.

So like the errors in the outfield, careless stuff.

But I do see the Guardians being one team that they could fuck shit up just by playing like weird small ball.

Yeah.

I could see them doing that.

But you're going to have to do a lot of it against Scoobel, and they didn't have enough.

Yeah, he was absolutely sensational.

And I just, there's something about him, like the way he yells on the mound,

his size.

He's a throwback ace in every respect.

He also went and visited that guy in the hospital.

Yeah, he did.

Ultimate respect.

Yeah, Schubal's the man.

He's a great dude, and he's the man, and he absolutely shoved today.

Game two, I was at game two.

I was at Wrigley.

It was electric,

very nerve-wracking because the Cubs looked like they didn't have much of an offense.

And then we had back-to-back home runs, and Craig Counsel, who has been maligned at times in his stay in Chicago, did a perfect job with the bullpen.

And the bullpen had, I think it was four and a third or four and two-thirds, perfect innings to close the game.

So Boyd started, had

a blooper double and then a hard-hit double to give up a run, stranded a guy on third in the second, which was huge.

And

then Palencia, who, you know, was the closer, got injured, came back.

came in in the fifth and was lights out for five outs and was just like electric.

And the crowd was, it was awesome because the Cubs haven't won a playoff game since 2017.

So it had been a long time.

They hadn't had a playoff game at Wrigley with fans since then as well.

Tell me about the mood of the stadium for the back-to-back Jacks.

Dude, because back-to-back playoff home runs, especially in a situation like that,

it seems like the best place to be on earth.

It was so electric.

And I mean, Seya's home run was absolutely pissed on.

It was out so fast.

I also saw afterwards that ESPN muted the crowd

as he was rounding the bases, which is an absolutely insane thing to do for playoff baseball.

The crowds in playoff baseball are so much fun, and it was so fucking loud at Wrigley.

And then Kelly's home run, which I didn't think was going to go out, it just kind of kept on going.

It was like the opposite of Saya's, where it just was like, oh shit, is this going to go out?

Oh, shit, is this going to go out?

Oh, shit.

It just went out.

And then the roof came off.

And it was just like everyone was just absolute euphoria at Wrigley and it was so much fun

Was it high five strangers?

Oh dude, it was high five strangers.

We had so we had uh we had some so I went with my friend Dave Titus and Eddie came with me.

I brought them and uh there was four stoolies in front of us who like they heard me and Eddie talking or me and Titus talking because I was sitting next to Titus maybe in like the second inning and they turned around and they're just like oh fuck it's you guys they became instant friends high fiving just going crazy.

High-fiving everyone in front, high-fiving everyone in back.

And then not to, I love PCA because

he's the best, but I did say

after the back-to-back home runs, I was like, if I could bet a million dollars right now on PCA striking out swinging, I would do it.

And he did because he was feeling like the mood was just, he wanted to launch one so bad.

So bad.

Yeah.

I love that feeling when you're high-fiving strangers at a sporting event.

That's how guys make new friends.

Yeah.

It's just like, it's the best feeling in the world.

You turn around, there's a hand in the air.

High five, hand in the air.

High five, you spill a drink on yourself.

Doesn't matter.

The mood seemed awesome for that.

What about the deep shot?

Best friends you'll never meet, see again in your life.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, we took, we, we literally still best friends.

My, my, my, uh, computer is making noise there.

Uh, we literally took a picture after the game, like all of us.

It was like, this is awesome.

We all got into a group picture.

It's like, that was a fucking great day.

It It was just a beautiful, beautiful, like, there was not a cloud in the sky.

Everyone was in a great mood.

It was awesome.

Yeah, that's it.

That's how dudes make friends.

Girls, like, chat with each other at workout classes and get each other's phone number.

Guys just high-five another drunk dude and then become best friends for like two and a half hours.

Yeah.

It's like a one-day stand.

It's a, it's a great feeling.

What about the PCA, the catch at the warning track?

Was that the ninth inning?

Yeah.

Because that day, when that, when that ball got hit, I thought, oh, shit, here we go.

I actually wasn't that worried about it.

I think I have a pretty good sense of like, because you know, the crowd will like, if there's a hard hit ball, like Michael Bush hit one in the first inning where everyone like went crazy.

I was like, there's no way that's out.

I have a pretty good sense.

So I was just like, just catch it.

Just catch it.

And I was just more worried anything that went towards Saya because he's playing right now and he's.

He's not the best.

He's a serviceable outfielder, but he also can fuck things up.

And so like there was one that was,

I can't remember.

It was maybe the sixth inning where it was in between them and Seya wanted it and PCA was like, no, it's fucking mine and like called him off.

Also, Dansby Swanson's awesome at defense.

That's something that just doesn't like, it's such an underrated thing because you,

I forgot, like playoff baseball, you basically spend every inning, every, if you're a home team, every top of the inning, you're just fucking so scared because you're like, only bad things can happen right now.

And then when you get to the bottom, you're like, all right, I can breathe a little.

Like, let's just hope we can string together a couple runs.

You know what I mean?

So it's that up and down constantly that goes back and forth where you're just like, fuck, this is like if a guy, if a runner gets on in playoff baseball, you're like, this is, this is over.

We're fucked.

We're so fucked.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, I'll give you a little analytics.

I don't know if you can bet this on the DraftKings sports book.

Maybe we can, maybe we can figure out a way to get this listed.

Mark Titus and I have gone to two Cubs playoff games together

in our lives.

Both wins,

both games, the Cubs hit back-to-back home runs.

And I'm taking him tomorrow.

Okay.

So I don't know if you can bet it, back-to-back home runs again.

If we go three for three, that would be insane.

I don't know.

That should be a prop.

Back-to-back?

Yeah.

So

it was the game one of the NLCS in 2016

when Miguel Montero and I think it was Dexter Fowler right after.

We were all in the bleachers for that.

And then today.

So I don't know.

Maybe bet it.

I don't know how you can bet it.

But it was, it was an awesome day.

It was very, very fun.

I was very happy.

Like, it was just, it was just a great day.

It was like one of those perfect days.

You're like, this was so much fun and had a great time.

And it's also the shout out to Pitch Clock.

Like, I had a very hard, I went from Cubs game, high-fiving, like euphoria

directly into my son's six-year-old soccer practice, like sitting there watching uh kids like fall over the ball and stuff.

And I was like, you know what, this is life now.

But shout out to Pitch Clock because I made it to his soccer practice with plenty of time.

You're chilling on the sidelines, they don't know that the Cubs just want a playoff game.

I was just like, I was like, that was really fun, and now I'm here.

And you know, and like basically, like making sure my daughter doesn't kill herself on the playground.

Uh, all right,

uh, the third game, another hoss, crochet, Hank, unbelievable.

He had, what did he have, 14 straight outs?

Yeah, he had the ball on a string.

It was a beautiful, beautiful thing to watch.

So were you nervous at all in this game?

Because it was, what,

one solo home run for the Yankees, and then the Red Sox actually played good playoff baseball, manufacturing some runs.

Yeah, Sogard,

this is Pink Hat Henry or newcomer Henry.

I was always under the impression that Aaron Judge had an absolute cannon.

And then Sogard ran out a single into a double, and everyone was like, yeah, they knew like Judge's arm is a noodle arm now, and he can't throw and like made him, you know, wouldn't look stupid.

He got hurt.

That's news to me.

I guess that's, yeah.

Yeah.

So, and then manufactured runs.

And the ninth inning was interesting because Chapman came in in the eighth for one out, and then

back in the ninth, and he loaded the bases with no outs.

And the Yankees didn't score any runs.

The weirdest part was, did you hear the broadcast being like, he's not sweating yet?

Yeah, I don't know what that was all about.

That was so like, usually, he's sweating a lot, and he hasn't sweat, he's not sweating yet.

And then he loaded the bases, and he either, like, look, he's sweating now, and then he just mowed everyone down.

By the way, the entire broadcast, the audio for that broadcast, I don't know what was going on where it sounded like there was a hand grenade going off every time there was an out.

Did you guys hear that?

Yeah.

Because I

heard a lot of people saying, oh, I thought that was just on my TV.

It was unlistenable.

I had to turn the sound almost all the way down for the entire game.

I don't know what they had if they had a mic on first base,

if the crowd was just redlining.

I don't know what it was, but ESPN's got to figure that shit out.

Yeah.

Stop mutings, crowd noise, and figure out the hand grenade situation.

Pretty easy.

It's terrible.

But yeah, Chapman went out there, pissed down his leg immediately, and then just settled in.

I saw a stat that the Yankees are the first team in postseason history to load the bases with nobody out in the bottom of the ninth, but not score a run and lose the game.

Jesus.

Pretty crazy.

Jesus.

Aaron Judge

did have a big single.

A lot of Red Sox fans.

Yeah.

He did.

Yeah.

He ripped that one nicely up the middle.

He had a huge single.

Are you

PMT field reporter Gaz was there?

He said it was Fenway South.

So that was good to hear.

So a lot of Red Sox fans.

Oh.

Yeah.

Wait, what was your question, PFT?

Panic button?

I was just wondering, like, what the, what is the panic meter for a Yankees fan right now?

I mean, the three-game series thing is crazy.

It really is.

Like, the,

because I'm sitting here, you know, the cubs are up 1-0, and I'm like, oh, this is great.

Like, obviously, still, there's two more games, but it's just being down 0-1 and having an elimination game like that is,

it's crazy.

So the panic button's got to be way out.

And I think I just saw

like my Twitter explode with just people being like, Aaron Boone's the dumbest person ever.

I was like, oh, it's October.

That was literally the turning of the clocks.

Because I saw that extend Boone was trending again.

And I agree.

We've always said that about Aaron Boone.

Listen, you got to give the man some time to implement his systems.

You got to have a steady hand guiding the New York Yankees through a tumultuous time in baseball.

Aaron Boone's the guy.

Keep him around.

Yeah.

So my last question about this game was,

did we find a hack on live betting Chapman with the sweating thing because the announcers called it out and they were actually correct that he did start to sweat and then he started to pitch well

is there a chance that maybe after he pitched in the eighth inning he used a towel maybe i don't know

i don't know but he need the guy needs sweat on him to perform

He is a sweaty guy.

They are right about that, but I didn't like, I wasn't watching close enough to be like, oh, shit, he doesn't have any sweat on him.

Yeah,

that doesn't really hold up.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's a very weird thing for the announcers to zero in on.

I was wondering why they're making a big deal out of it, but

yeah, if he doesn't sweat, yeah, I'll load up on him.

Yeah.

All right.

The last game,

which is still in the seventh inning, but we're calling it early.

The Dodgers are so fucking unfair.

They're so good.

They're like, just to even start this game with Shohei hitting a leadoff home run is like, oh, like that might be the fastest that a team's ever been eliminated.

He smacked the shit out of that ball, too.

That ball was gone.

And then he hit another one.

And then Tiascar Hernandez hit two.

And it's just like, and then Freddie Freeman hit a double.

It's just, they just, the waves of Dodger hitters are just insane.

And now the Reds obviously are not, you know, it's a little bit of a mismatch.

A great story that the Reds are in the playoffs, but the Dodgers look, and then Blake Snell, I think it was his first time.

I got to try to find that stat.

I think it was his first time going

into the sixth in a playoff game, and he was electric as well.

So it's like, if he starts pitching like an absolute hoss,

he's probably too skinny to be a hoss.

For the first time, Jeff Passeng said for the first time in his career, Blake Snell has thrown a six-inning, six innings in a postseason game, and they've been phenomenal.

One hit, one walk, nine strikeouts, only 70 pitches.

He gave up a run in the seventh, but yeah, he was lights out.

Yeah, I agree.

I don't think that he's a hoss, though.

He's too small.

He's a pony.

Yeah.

All right.

The back-to-back jacks in that game was awesome, too.

Rob Lowe, shout out Rob Lowe in the crowd tonight.

Yep.

They showed him.

Then they showed Bateman.

They started running out of celebrities.

There were so many home runs.

Yeah.

I did not know this because somebody sent it to me.

You know that Rob Lowe is a, he grew up a die-hard Cincinnati Reds fan.

Is he from Ohio?

Yeah.

I think I did.

I think I did know that.

So

he was like

taunting the Reds after the back-to-back home runs, despite the fact.

You know what?

I'm going to give Rob Lowe a pass-on.

Did he have his MLB hat on?

He did not.

He was wearing a normal hat.

I photoshopped the Major League Baseball Umpire's logo onto it, though.

Nice.

So pretty much.

But yeah,

if I was Rob Lowe in that situation, if you're beating the shit out of the Reds, the team that you love growing up, I probably wouldn't be demanding the camera, put me on.

No, I mean, the Reds are just, it's a nice story.

We'll see.

Hey, listen, game two you never know what's going to happen because that is the the the beauty going back to the three-game format the reds win all the pressures back on the dodgers so you never know yeah like all these things could fall teams i got a question for you regarding the reds max doesn't think so max is shaking his head

well there's also like i think there's a stat stat that the team that wins the game one of the wild card series goes on the win 92 of the time oh

that's pretty significant probably because they're the better team and also they're at home and they're up 1-0.

Yeah.

Well, it's not always the home team.

And the Reds fucking suck.

Memes, I got a question for you regarding the Reds.

Are you actively rooting against the Reds right now?

Yeah, this is a nice hate watch for me.

Mm-hmm.

They got to be the sacrificial lamb.

Were you happy that the Jets' official Twitter account jinxed the Yankees?

With the good luck?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's also a nice hate-watch.

I'm hate-watching the entire playoffs.

Hank, you seemed skeptical when Meme said that he was rooting against the Reds.

The Reds stole the Mets spot.

But the Mets could have.

The Mets stole their own spot.

They played themselves out.

Also true.

Also true.

It's not like the Reds beat the Mets in a season-ending series.

But it does have to feel a little bit better watching the Dodgers just be insane and being like, the Mets wouldn't have won this series all in L.A.

Yeah.

Yeah, no Mets

went on the road against anybody this year.

There's no way they were winning this series in L.A.

Yeah.

We'll never know, though.

You never know.

Guess we'll never know.

I think Memes should get to hate watch whatever he wants.

Let him hate watch the fuck out of these playoffs.

No, yeah, I'm backing.

I'm defending him.

I'm like, this is a good watch.

This is a good watch.

I'm okay.

Yeah.

Memes needs to get his hate out on something.

And anyway, Max is scared.

You guys are scared of the hate watch.

What?

We're scared of the hate watch?

What's that?

Scared to be on the

memes' bad side of a hate watch.

I think I am on the bad side of a hate watch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're all on the hate watch.

Yeah.

You're just lucky he's playing the Yankees.

He wants to hate watch both the Red Sox and the Yankees.

You're next up, buddy.

Like,

I'm the only one who's getting hate-watched right now, but your guys are both gonna be up

he's hate watching he's rooting for the pods yeah but i'm also rooting for chicago i live in chicago but

no you're not

you're rooting for the podcast

what are you talking about you want you want everyone you want you want everyone in the office to be happy you want everyone in the office to be like happy

that's a great thing about sports hate watch the fuck out of these playoffs Yeah, if you're miserable, you want everybody else around you to be just as miserable as you are.

I'm going to be honest.

Everyone was rooting rooting for the Guardians in the cave.

I wanted them to lose.

So, memes, what's your what's your perfect World Series then?

Would it be like Brewers versus Blue Jays?

Mariners.

I'm rooting for the Mariners.

Okay.

I like Seattle.

Good sports sound.

Okay.

I'll go Cubs or Brewers.

Okay.

You don't mean that.

Yeah.

You don't mean that.

I know he means Brewers.

That was just an omission.

It's fine.

I live in the middle of the moment.

Cubs losing in seven would be.

That's the ultimate hate watch.

It is.

It is.

I respect your hate watch.

All right.

Two things before we kick it to ourselves.

And then, like I said, we have Brandon Walker and Lane Kiffen.

One, is it Dylan Gabriel time?

Yes.

I think it is, right?

It's going to be.

It's about to be.

Yeah.

It's sad, but it's time.

Do you think it might be a mistake to do the Dylan Gabriel time when they have to fly to Europe and play against a Brian Flores defense?

Brian Flores is very happy that this is happening.

He's going to blitz the fuck out of him.

That traditionally works well in England.

And

it's going to be a tough start for him.

But the good news is the Vikings don't really have a great answer at quarterback right now.

The Browns' defense is awesome, too.

Yeah.

So it's going to be, I think it's going to be a winnable game for him.

I don't think that either team is going to blow the other one out.

So I'd say, like, in a weird way, it's almost less pressure doing it overseas than it would be doing it back at home.

True.

True.

No one's going to watch.

We're all going to watch.

Yeah.

It is going to be.

This might be the Lunder of the Year.

Yes, I'd agree.

But it might be too obvious.

It might be like a 10-2 game.

But it might be so obvious I psych myself out and take the over and then watch the 10-2 game and be like, why are you so stupid?

Guess the over-under.

I'm going to guess.

It can't be more than 40.

37 and a half.

I was going to say 37

flat.

It can't be over 40.

Sports book.

It's

36 and a half.

Oh, wow.

We're both off.

It's lower than we both thought.

I love that, though.

It's a challenge.

No, that means our statistical model says we got to take the over.

By a point, yeah.

We get 37 to 37 and a half.

Um, okay, and the other thing I had was: uh,

anyone want to take a shot?

Zach, why don't you take a shot at explaining what's going on in the WNBA right now?

I do not understand it, but I just saw a lot of tweets about it.

Is it regarding the WNBA saying that the only reason Caitlin Clark is getting her advertisements is because of the WNBA?

Is that what we're talking about?

I think it was Nafisa.

Yeah, that was.

I think that was a bold statement

by the WNBA.

Okay.

So there we go.

A bold statement by the players or by the league?

What was that?

Who made the bold statement?

I think the league saying that the league is responsible for all of Caitlin Clark's brand deals is crazy.

Okay.

Insane.

Yeah.

Agreed.

I don't know if the league said it.

I think it was Nafisa said it.

Nafisa, I retract that.

Nafisa.

Wild statement from Nafisa.

I don't want to put that on the league.

Wait, I thought Nafisa said that the league told her that.

Oh,

okay.

Go back, Zach.

This is some really

this is where we get into idiot jazz.

So so it's the league through Nafisa.

Yes, I believe Nafisa was speaking to the league and complaining about the young players and the pay scale.

And then the league said to Nafisa,

You're lucky that you guys get those endorsements because we bring you those endorsements.

And then Nafisa said the league said that, and then everyone's like, that was wild for the league to tell Nafisa that.

Oh, so Nafisa wasn't going after Caitlin Clark?

I don't think so.

Okay, so the league was going, was basically being like, you're like, you and Caitlin Clark are lucky you have us.

All right, so I'm going to do the audience a favor by reading one article about this.

Okay, all right.

All right.

I think I agree with everything Collier said.

That's Nafisa.

Okay.

Said Lexi Hall, the Fever's alternate player rep for the

WNBPA.

Wait, PFTA.

You're at a really important time in the league and changes need to be made.

And so you're seeing her talk about that and proud of her for making that statement today.

Wait, PFT, read a full article to yourself and then, well, memes ranks his hate watch teams.

And then come back to us with the summary.

Memes, hate watch teams,

who you're rooting for to lose in the most sad, like torturous fashion, and then go down from there.

Or just which, where you want our teams to lose in the playoffs, yeah, and how,

yeah.

All right, so number one, I'll go with Phillies.

Okay,

hate the Phillies.

Would like

I would like them to go nine innings each time, get walked off each time.

In the DS

by the Dodgers.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Walked off in nine innings.

So sweep, though,

yeah, sweep.

Okay,

a walk-off, sweep

that's impossible, but continue.

Oh, yeah, that is impossible.

Shit,

uh, Yankees number two.

Okay, I would like Austin to take them out tomorrow, but it's like 10 to nothing.

That's ideal.

Keep going.

Um,

I'll go, I'll throw Blue Jays at three.

Oh.

Nice.

Canada.

Boo.

Okay.

Memes, you walked into the office today and looked at Big Cat and said, let's go pods.

Yeah, no, you and

the trust tree branched together.

Yeah, we did come back together.

That's a little preview for later branches.

You can throw the Cubs in there.

Where do you want the Cubs to lose?

You want us also get walked off by the Dodgers?

Game seven, World Series.

Okay, to who?

The Mariners?

To the Mariners.

Okay.

What about the Red Sox?

I love my regular.

It'll be fun.

I don't hate the Red Sox that bad, but we'll put them at five.

Okay, but how do you want them to lose?

To the Mariners.

Yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Anyone else?

Dodgers?

Dodgers?

Yeah, they get fucked.

Okay.

NLCS to the Cubs.

This is a great.

Someone needs to make the hate watch bad.

Mariners over Cubs parlayed with the

Cubs over the Dodgers parlayed with the Dodgers on all walk-off home runs against the Phillies.

Yep.

Which is impossible.

Which is impossible.

A very sweep of walk-off home runs over the Phillies would be so good for this program.

No, yeah.

What if

possible?

No, hold on, hold on.

What memes?

No,

we can workshop this memes.

What if game one and two

is the exact same

catch robbing a home run walk-off?

You like that?

And then game three is a walk-off.

Yeah.

Game three is a walk-off.

Exact same ball hit to the exact same spot.

And the Phillies center fielder doesn't catch it.

Bounces off his head.

Yeah.

So all three are exactly the same.

This is, I hate that you, this is such bullshit that you're even like manifesting this into the world.

I mean, fact or fiction.

We're not manifesting this.

Yeah, we're not manifesting it for sure.

You're speaking it into the world.

We're talking about his hate watch.

The hate watch.

He wants a hate watch.

All right, Max, if that exact scenario happens in three games, I will give you $1 million cash.

Okay.

okay I'll match it it has to be match the ball has to be hit the exact same place three times in a row to end the game two of them catches over the wall one of them hitting a guy in the head and going over the wall

no thanks two million dollars cash

if I had to choose imagine if we get to

what if we get to game three and it happened in game one and two and Max is just rooting for it

and it doesn't hit him in the head

Max,

you have to tell us right now, do you accept it?

Do you accept the $2 million?

I do not accept the $2 million.

Okay, $5 million.

Okay, if five, I'll take the five.

Okay, all right.

You're a fucking moron for not accepting $2 million.

Where's your price?

Four and a half.

He just got five.

He just got five.

I just got five.

So how am I a moron?

Yeah, good job.

In that moment, I still will be like,

I want this ball to be a home run for sure.

You mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Yeah, of course.

If it got, if it got to that third game and it was like, you either get $5 million

or

the walk-off home run in my favor, I would take the walk-off home run.

Although

if this happens,

this clip will just be, we'll just market ourselves as fortune tellers and we'll make, it will pay for itself, this clip.

Be more than $5 million.

All right, PFT finishes off with the WNBA report.

All right, so here's the news.

I think I I was right about this.

So, Nafisa Collier is the head of the WNBPA.

That's the WNBA Players Association.

She's the player rep.

She met with the commissioner, Kathy Engelbert, called her negligent.

Kathy Engelbert fired back at her, made some allusions to the fact that the young players, instead of asking for more money, should be happy with the sponsorship deals that the league brings into them, to which Nafisa Collier, or apparently Fi, as she's called,

made that statement publicly known to the rest of her, to all the other player reps, and they all agreed with her: like, this lady, Kathy Engelbert, is full of shit.

We got your back, fee.

Paige Buchers posted a story on Instagram that said, Queen Fee.

It was a picture of Nafisa Collier.

And Elena Del Dunn posted on Instagram as well, and she said, it's the care for the human part for me.

I'm still not sure if Kathy knows I retired.

Oh,

so yeah, they don't like bottom line: is they hate Kathy.

Kathy, you got to get out of town.

EDD's my goat.

EDD's great.

Yeah.

I'm a Paige Bucher guy.

I'm a PB guy.

Yeah.

Damn.

Okay, so we got some, we got some tumultuous things happening.

So, yeah, I guess, are we an anti-Kathy podcast?

No, fuck Kathy.

Fuck Kathy.

Fuck her.

She's a bitch.

And the horse she rode in on.

Yeah.

I don't like her.

Yeah.

Yeah, there we go, Zach.

Hater.

Hater.

Zach, what are your thoughts regarding Kathy?

Out on Kathy.

If the WNBA wants to pay us a ton of money to say pro-WNBA things, we will accept.

Yeah, I'll switch up real quick.

Yeah, real fast.

As of right.

Exactly.

Hey, Kathy, you hear that?

Hear what Zach just did?

That's a little preview of what we can do for you.

Pay up.

All

Let's kick it to ourselves in studio.

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Boys, uh...

Two bad Monday night football games equals...

I don't know.

I was thinking maybe one good game, but it really doesn't.

It actually almost goes the other direction where it's like three bad games because it was such a bummer watching Monday Night Football doubleheader.

Yeah, if you're going to have two bad games, I would like for one to be so bad that it turns good.

Yeah.

And it was just kind of two bad games that were bad.

Yeah.

Boring bad.

We learned something last night.

Okay.

Joe Burrow might be the best athlete to ever play sports.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was going to say like Joe Burrow for MVP.

I've heard people say that.

I think it goes past that.

Yeah.

So let's start with that game.

The big takeaway from that game, well, there's two takeaways in my opinion.

One is the Broncos needed that game.

Bo Nick's back on track.

That was the Broncos' offensive output that they were hoping for in the first three weeks.

They looked sensational.

Their defense looked awesome.

Sean Payton got his first 100-yard rusher out in Denver.

Yep.

Yep.

So it was like basically everything worked for the Broncos.

It was a no-doubter.

And like I said, Bo Nick's like getting a little comfortable.

Cortland Sutton's really fucking good.

I mean, they have guys everywhere.

It feels like the Broncos have a ton of team speed.

Do they have guys at every level?

They do.

Think about all the levels they got.

Offensive line, I'd say, what's his name?

Quinn Miners?

Yep.

That's a guy at that level.

Yep.

They got a guy at the receiver level.

They might have two because they've got a great blocking receiver, too.

What's that guy's name?

Young guy.

Threw a great block.

Anyways, he's great.

Then they've got maybe two guys at the running back level.

Yep.

And they've got Bo Nicks at the quarterback level.

And then we can talk about their defense just being awesome.

Their defense is awesome.

Their defensive line gets after the passer.

Their secondary is awesome.

The Broncos, this was the game they needed.

Yeah.

And then on the other side,

we got to figure out the Bengals situation.

We cannot watch more primetime games with these Bengals.

The Bengals right now, in the last two games,

they've had 22 drives on offense.

14 of those drives have ended in a punt.

Five of them in a turnover.

So 19 out of 22 drives their last two games have been a turnover or a punt.

That is so, so bad.

And it is so, so depressing.

And it's hard to watch T.

Higgins and Jamar Chase be like, what are we doing?

And they can't get the ball out.

And they can't do anything.

Here's a crazy stat.

Did you know that the Bengals have been outscored 14 to 13 when they're on offense in the last two weeks?

Because Isaiah Rogers.

Because Isaiah Rogers had two, yeah, two returns for touchdowns.

Their offense is down 13 to 14 against opposing teams' defenses over the last two weeks.

Yeah, it's very, very brutal to watch.

And I don't, we have more Bengals

primetime games coming up.

We need Jameis so, so badly.

It does feel like this was also like, I don't know.

I was like, oh, yeah, the Bengals are 2-0.

Joe Burrow's hurt.

Yeah, he's going to be out for a long time, but maybe they can tread water.

I no longer think they can tread water.

Oh, I think the rest of the team, it's not just Jake Browning.

I think the entire team knows that we're fucked here and we can't come back from this.

Hot seat, Zach Taylor.

It's back.

Maybe because the team didn't look like they were giving any effort at all last night.

So I looked it up.

Here's how bad the situation is, Big Cat, for the national TV audience.

So this is why it impacts you at home.

By the way, Troy Franklin, I think, was the guy.

Yeah, yeah.

Great blocker.

National audience, you're going to be subjected to so much Bengals over the next month, month and a half.

This impacts you at home, even if you're not a Bengals fan.

This is a PSA.

This is a PSA.

Next two weeks, they've got the Lions and the Packers.

That's going to be the 4.30 time slot, so the national game.

Okay.

Then Thursday night football against the Steelers.

Then they're going to have a Thanksgiving game.

And then they go back to the national game 4.30 against the Bills.

Then Sunday night football against the Dolphins.

Did they have the Thanksgiving night game?

This is is going to tear families apart.

This me Jameis.

If you weren't in an argument with your uncle already on Thanksgiving, you will be in an argument with him by the time this game's over because everyone's going to be pissed off.

And if you look at the quarterback situation there, they've got Jake Browning, Mike White, Brett Rippon, Sean Clifford.

There is a common thread between all those guys.

They're cheap.

Combined, they cost $2.1 million against the cap.

Jameis makes $3 million for, in theory, a third-string quarterback.

Mike Brown does not want to pay a backup quarterback, a third-option quarterback, $3 million.

Can we do a GoFundMe?

That's what I put out on Twitter last night.

Yeah.

I think that we can do a GoFundMe and at least maybe make up the difference between what their combined backups make and what he's going to have to pay Jameis Winston if Mike Brown would be open to that.

Yeah.

Because it's a national emergency.

And their offensive line obviously is bad, so it's going to be tough for any quarterback that plays in Cincinnati.

but at least Jameis is going to sling it.

At least he's going to throw it.

He's going to throw it, and it's going to be fun.

And Jamar, the problem is, like, Jamar Chase is checked out right now.

Yeah, rightfully so.

It was, I mean, it was frustrating watching.

There was a couple deep shots early that were missed, and then just not being able to get the ball out.

It's really bad.

To the Broncos' credit, they did play, they've got a great secondary.

And so whether it was Riley Moss or if it was Sertan that was was on Jamar Chase, it didn't look like there was a lot of separation going on across the board, but still,

you got to at least make us want to watch these primetime games.

Yeah, the Bengals, yeah, and I agree.

Like, the Broncos, that was a statement when I know the Bengals are bad, but they needed that.

And it feels like the Broncos are back on track 2-2.

So in the last two games, the Bengals have lost by 25 points, plus points, had under 200 total yards, had under 60 rushing yards, been outrushed by 100 plus yards, and taken three sacks.

No other NFL team has done that combo in back-to-back games in the Super Bowl era, which it sounds like, oh, that's a lot of stuff you just listed, but still, it's basically a lot of stuff being like, they're really, really bad.

And there have been a lot of really, really bad teams, but they are historically bad in the last two games.

Very, very bad.

Very, very bad.

Bummer to watch.

Other game.

Jets Dolphins.

Let's start with the Dolphins.

Dolphins, I to give credit to them.

First of all, kind of liked their jerseys.

Yeah.

Like,

they were kind of in that realm of not real NFL jerseys, like 2K,

a teenager came up with them in an alternate world, but I kind of liked them.

Well, it's a hack for NFL teams.

If you have jerseys that you're sick of looking at, just make them look as much like the Sealers as possible.

Right.

And then you'll be like, oh, maybe our defense is good now.

Yeah, they kind of pop for a night game.

And I will give the Dolphins credit.

They are fighting for that.

I had them as my bad vibes team.

Their vibes are okay because they fought hard against the Bills.

They beat the Jets.

Tyreek Hill goes out.

He's going to be out for the year and maybe even longer.

He

was maybe happy.

That was weird.

Yeah, I mean, when I first saw it, I was like, yeah, he does look like he's...

pumped to not be playing for the Dolphins anymore.

Yeah.

But then I thought more about it and he like dislocated his knee, tore everything.

Probably a lot of weird chemicals and emotions going through his brain at that time.

That was actually him, I think, being a good teammate.

Yeah.

He was trying to pump his boys up.

Mike McDaniel after the game said that he, that Tyreek said, like, go out there and get this win for me.

Which if my knee got destroyed like that, I would, I would be like, fuck all you guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The uh, is Tyreek Hill a better football player with one leg than person?

Yeah, probably right.

It was funny.

I was, I was noticing

when he got hurt.

You know, when a guy gets really badly hurt in a primetime game and there's a lot of, oh, man, I feel so bad for him.

Oh, that's so brutal.

It was more just, damn, that leg looked bad.

Yeah.

That was kind of all, it wasn't like, oh, man, poor Tyreek.

It was just, that was a nasty injury.

I think statement of fact.

What I'm concerned about, he needs to get back in time for the Olympics.

Yeah.

Because he's going to be a problem in flag football.

And it is, he is a fun player to watch, so it is a bummer in that respect.

But yeah, the Dolphins, they're fighting.

They were back on their swaggy shit, too.

They had Tua do the behind-the-back right-handed pass.

Yep.

Tua might be right-handed.

That was my takeaway from that, because that was a sick pass.

Why were we, like, can we just enjoy that?

Because that happened, and it was only a six-yard gain.

Everyone's like, all that for a six-yard gain.

Come on, it's fun.

It's fun.

That was a cool play.

Mike McDaniel's got a little swag back.

He's emptying the, he's going down with a fight.

It's, it's, you don't want to see teams quit in September, and the Dolphins haven't quit.

There was a funny moment after the game.

I've seen all the clips from pretty much any coach that wins in the NFL.

Their locker room speech goes viral after the fact because they're all really, really happy that they won an NFL game.

And then they showed Mike McDaniel last night after the game.

He was like, I think in this room,

we got a...

It's a better feeling today than we've had this year before today, huh?

And everybody was like, yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.

It's true.

And they have the Panthers next, so watch out.

Watch out for the Dolphins.

Yeah.

The Dolphins get hot to 2-3.

The other side, the Jets.

Memes,

that was a tough watch.

It was a tough watch.

The game was pretty much over after the first drive.

Yeah, Braylon Allen.

You thought they were going to do man football the entire game, and then they just fumbled it and the game was over.

I did.

I was enthused watching that first drive up until Braylon Allen's fumble, where I was like, oh, the Jets have figured out they're just going to be a service academy.

Yeah.

And they're just going to run it down their throat.

Yeah, and then the wheels just fell off from there.

I think Orlovsky said at the time, like, I just wouldn't throw the ball if I was the Jets.

I would keep doing that.

And then the Jets proceeded to pass the ball in, like, three of the next four plays, and it didn't go well.

Yeah, they were averaging eight yards per carry in the first half.

And

Justin Fields' stat line isn't that bad, but everyone who watched the game...

No, he didn't play that bad.

The worst thing he did was just the pre-snap penalties, and then it was just a million of them.

And it just killed him in the end.

And it felt like he didn't throw the ball until they were down a lot.

And not that it was garbage time because they ended up losing only by six, but that first half, it was like they're not even going to try to throw.

No, and I didn't understand that at all.

If your career is on the line, I don't know why you're just not non-stop throwing it.

Throw a million interceptions.

Who gives a fuck?

I agree.

Aaron Glenn or Justin Fields?

Justin Fields.

Justin Fields.

Yeah, I mean, Garrett Wilson is awesome.

He should have gotten the first touchdown with the OBI.

Then he got another one that was awesome.

Brees Hall kind of put it perfectly.

He said, teams shoot themselves in the foot, then we come back and shoot ourselves in the head.

Yeah.

I wonder if he's talking about the, there was a fair catch punt at the two-yard line.

Rare to see.

It was exciting.

It was exciting.

Because it was one of those, did they just do that moments right afterwards?

Like, I can't believe that.

It has to be a pretty bad fuck-up around the goal line to make Dan Orlofsky say, this guy has no idea where he's on the field.

Yeah.

Like, that's new ground that we're breaking.

Memes,

where are we at overall?

Can I share some of the

things?

I love your two-year plan.

Memes has a two-year plan.

Do you guys want to hear memes' two-year plan?

Yeah, sure.

It's a really good two-year plan.

Am I saying the two-year plan or are you saying it's two-year plan?

No, you say the two-year plan.

So the two-year plan going into last night's game.

If they won,

which they didn't.

Wait, your entire two-year two-year long-term plan was based on the outcome of one game that's one gateway correct yeah it was the it was the ultimate gateway game all right uh

but after last night's game i don't think they're gonna win a game i think they're gonna go i think they're gonna win a game they're gonna win they're gonna win a game that team did not look like they could win a game okay

uh

but this year you're gonna be picking top five probably top three okay next year's schedule is insanely hard so you're punting on next year

so you draft all defense next year wait how how do you know next year's schedule is going to be insanely hard?

They have your next opponents for like the next three years.

But you guys are going to, if you're as bad as you say that you're going to be, you're going to have a last place schedule.

No, but you still have to play the NFC North and you AFC West.

But you don't know who's going to be good.

Yeah.

You don't know

what trades.

Okay.

Okay.

So continue with your two-year players.

So you draft all defense this year, then the next year you draft a quarterback.

So every pick on defense.

Every pick on defense.

The defense is historically bad.

So if you're picking top three, and let's just say, I don't know, Arch Manning,

not Arch.

No.

Dante Moore.

Pass.

Okay.

Are they Nussmire?

Now, if they fall to the second round, I just wouldn't waste another first-round pick on a quarterback.

Yeah.

Okay.

So all defense this year,

then all offense.

But like, you have the offensive line in place.

You have Garrett Wilson.

You need wide receiver two and three.

Yeah.

Mason Taylor looked good last night.

So also, by the way, what a flex for Jason Taylor to go to a football game in his gold jacket.

Yeah.

That was a nice move.

And people are just way too fast to try to find their next cold play moment.

It was his wife.

It's his wife.

His wife was sitting on his lap.

Right.

But we're so, the internet is so hungry to ruin someone's life.

They're like, oh, my God.

Jason Taylor.

All right.

So two-year plan.

All defense.

Then all offense.

Then win.

Yeah.

Trade anybody worth anything.

I feel bad for guys like Quinn Williams, been on the team forever, and they just can't figure it out.

Yeah.

You would not trade Garrett Wilson.

Would not trade him.

He's a stud.

Would you trade Brees Hall?

I don't want to, but I think you have to.

Okay.

What about coach?

I'm rooting for him.

Okay, that's a good answer.

Good answer.

Good answer.

So

last week you said you wanted him fired if you gave up 28 points to the Bucs.

Now you're rooting for him.

Well, no, I've always been rooting for him.

No, that's the they're just kids tweet.

When you say I'm rooting for him,

the parentheses is I want him fired.

He's a joke.

Yeah, and we have an irrational owner who's just will fire him at any point in time.

That is true.

You always have to be on the lookout for that.

Okay.

If you woke up tomorrow morning, Aaron Glynn was fired, what's your initial reaction?

Disappointed.

Okay.

Because, like, he.

I saw a tweet today that Robert Salah's defense, his first year, was also historically bad.

Okay.

So it does take time to get that figured out, but I just, I don't know.

It's just been 15 years of shit.

It would be absurd to fire him right now.

It'd be absurd.

Absurd.

You can't even entertain those thoughts.

You can't put that into the universe.

I was on a text chain with memes last night.

It got dark, and rightfully so.

Can I share one thing that made me chuckle a little, but it also tells you exactly where Jets fans are?

Trust Tree.

Trust Tree.

Trust broken.

Trust Tree.

I'm not going to say memes said it.

I'm going to say someone else said it.

We have a group chat.

It's literally called the Trust Tree.

It's the Trust.

And two other Jet fans that work here.

Which is trust true.

This was said.

I'm not saying who said it, but it did make me chuckle a little because it's like, this is how NFL fans work.

Someone said, I have one more rebuild in me, and then I'm just going to be a casual fan.

And I was like, that's the most like but like that's the darkest thought being like i'm giving you one more chance to rebuild this team knowing full well that that's not going to happen you're going to still live and die with the jets not gonna say who said this but i said that it was very funny i laughed because i was just like like just being like got one more like you could do this one more time jets you could rebuild one more time Yeah, but by then that'll be like year 18 of a playoff drought.

How many more rebuilds could you do?

That's the thing about the NFL right when you're sick of rebuilds, your owner will hire some coach that'll make you insanely excited.

Yeah.

Yeah, but then the screenshots come out of every single past coach just doing that same dumb face on the sideline, being like, what did I sign up for?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have a spin zone for you, memes.

I shared this on Wake Up Barstool, so I was looking at it last night.

If the history of the entire planet, so Earth, was a 24-hour day,

Human beings didn't arrive on Earth.

Human beings weren't human beings until, so it's 24 hours.

Human beings weren't human beings until 11, 58, and 43 seconds.

Do you understand that?

Nope, but continue.

So all of Earth, I'm saying the whole history of Earth, human beings have only been around for that small part, a minute and whatever it is, 17 seconds, the last very piece.

That's how long Earth has been around.

Your life, if you live to 100, is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second in this 24-hour day.

It all doesn't matter, dude.

It's like, there's been so much shit that's happened on planet Earth, and there's going to be so much shit that happens.

Who fucking cares?

Think of how small we are.

That's a good point, but.

Yeah, we're nothing.

We're all nothing.

Winning a football game.

I know, but we're all nothing.

I'm just trying to think big picture here.

We're all nothing.

Do you understand how small that is?

A minute and seven.

Human beings showed up a minute and 17 seconds left in the 24-hour day.

That's how much Earth history has happened before that.

It's crazy.

That is crazy.

It's much the euphoria of winning a football game.

I agree.

I agree.

It's also hard to squeeze that many penalty flags into a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second.

So many penalty flags.

It's all penalties.

Yeah.

And didn't your coach say, like,

didn't he hire some refs this offseason?

Yeah, he said we're going to figure this out.

Yeah.

He said, we're going to put a stop to this.

I think he had refs at like every single practice because he said, no more being the most penalized team.

That stops now.

Yeah, and there could be some residuals of not having a coach for however long.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's, yeah.

They didn't have a coach since week five.

It's a lot of the same guys.

They probably should have cut.

or traded all the guys from that defense.

You come from Dan Campbell.

You got to flush the thirds.

That's his motto.

Yeah, you got to flush the third.

The guys on the team, they played an entire season basically without a coach, and then all of a sudden they have a coach now.

That's got to be weird for them, too.

It's like, hey, I thought we were free-range football players.

Yeah.

You let us just.

Yeah.

I thought we were like, you know, cats that are left alone for the weekend where you just leave the food out and we just hang out.

Yeah, it's the Montessori football.

Right.

And now all of a sudden we have to have a teacher that we call a teacher.

Yeah.

It's bullshit.

Yeah.

You didn't tell us there were rules.

We used to not have homework.

Yeah.

Class used to be outside.

This is, yeah, it's Will Farrell and stepbrothers being like, this house is a prison.

Yeah.

You don't let me watch cops anymore.

What the fuck, Aaron Glenn?

Now, the other side of it,

it was a terrible officiated game.

It was.

There was penalties they just weren't calling on the Dolphins.

The late hit on Justin Fields in, like, I think it was the third or fourth quarter was egregious.

It was like he slid and then someone just jumped on him.

Yeah, there was one with, I think that was Jeremy Rucker.

They just

jumped on him five seconds after.

And then there was a penalty on the Jets for a hold as Joe Tittman's helmet was getting ripped off like a clear hands to the face.

Like you can't, like, they lost the game.

Yeah.

But you can complain about the refs.

Yeah,

definitely.

It was a terrible officiated game.

That offensive pass interference was dog shit.

That was bad.

That happens every single play in the NFL.

Where are you at with Justin Fields?

Just let him just

fuck it, dude.

Who cares?

Just fucking run around and throw it.

Like, it's not going to work, but you just might as well make fun football.

I mean, the run was fun.

The run was fun.

If Justin Fields had James's brain, it would be like the greatest watch of all time.

Where he just, he has no.

Just let it fly.

Yeah, right.

He, he just, he just fucking grip it and rip it.

Yeah, otherwise, like, you're going to be a career backup.

Just let it fly.

And not a bad backup to have.

He's just not a starter, really.

I would agree with that.

Yeah.

I think he'd be a great backup.

Yeah.

I'd rather watch him.

He's got a long career.

Because, like, you can't, you can't really prepare for Justin Fields the good stuff that he does.

Yeah.

Also, it's kind of bullshit that Darren Waller just beats you guys, right?

Like, that was.

He had 12 games with the Giants and scored one touchdown.

He had one game with the Dolphins and scored two touchdowns.

He's back.

He looked good.

Yeah, he did look good.

He did look good.

All right.

I'm sorry, Memes.

It's okay.

Yeah.

I mean, there's a little peace in knowing that it's just, it is what it is, right?

This season, at least.

Yeah, but this is like the easiest schedule they've ever had.

Yeah.

You will win some games.

Let's find your win.

I mean, I'm looking at it right.

Wait, is that their schedule right there?

Yeah.

They have the Cowboys.

That's a coin flip.

Broncos, probably a loss.

Panthers is a coin flip.

Bengals is a coin flip.

Browns is a coin flip.

You can beat the Patriots.

They just got to get the penalties figured out.

Yeah.

And

Braylon Allen going out was awesome.

You might.

You guys might.

You guys might make the playoffs.

I'm looking at the schedule.

Stop.

Stop.

Don't do that.

Don't do this, don't do this.

I have to win a game.

I think we finally got his expectations where they need to be.

If they win, trying to bring him back.

No, because I don't want him to get it.

It sucks giving.

I've been here before.

It sucks in September being like season's already over.

It's a fucked-up situation for meemes because the best case scenario for him is actually now his worst case scenario.

Because I think your best case scenario is you end with six wins, seven wins.

Very best case scenario, right?

Yeah, that's best case scenario.

Worst case scenario is 0-17, then you have to fire everybody again.

But if you end with like seven wins, that's actually the worst case scenario.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's it.

It's a bad place to be.

Hank, you want to hop in here and pump up memes a little?

No, they have no shot at making playoffs.

You guys are being mean.

No, we're not.

We're trying to pump them up a little bit.

I'm realistic.

I tell you.

The playoff thing was wrong, but I think they're going to win some games.

I don't think they're going to be.

I'm not going to rebuild.

You don't want to win games.

No, yeah, I know, but I do think they're not as bad.

All right, fine.

They're going to lose every game.

That's what I'm going to do.

You want me to say that?

All right.

I want to win a game.

Yeah, you're going to win a game.

I wish I could bet it right now.

It's probably terrible odds.

The Jets will absolutely win a game this year.

Flip it, put it out there.

I'll get a tattoo if they don't win a game.

Jets are going to win.

Will you get a tattoo memes if they don't win a game?

Yeah.

All right.

Will you get a tattoo with you you match yeah because they're gonna get they're gonna win four games yeah

four games I'm not gonna say four but they will win a game four

uh all right any other any other cleanup stuff we're gonna do a lot of college football talk with Brandon Walker some really good narrative talk uh coming off of a big weekend of college football anything else that we missed on uh Sunday I would say watching back because we do record the show on Sundays during Sunday football very weird clock management by the Packers yeah that final drive.

Really strange.

Also, Dak Prescott looked great.

Yeah.

He looked really good.

They, they somehow

is CeeDee Lamb the problem?

I don't know.

CeeDee Lamb was like George Pickens' biggest fan during the games.

I know.

I know.

Good vibes on the sidelines.

Yeah, the Cowboys are in that camp of like very fun, fun watch.

The Cowboys should be in every

Sunday night football or Monday football game because they don't play defense and they score.

So we're going to talk about with Brandon Walker in a little bit, but I was thinking more about the Penn State game, Penn State, Oregon.

Would we be thinking completely differently about Penn State if their offense was great and their defense sucked?

Yes.

I think we would, right?

It'd be like a completely, because their defense, looking back on it, their defense is good, Max.

Right.

Yeah, but it's the same thing.

That's the difference: is that if the offense was really good and the defense was slacking, you can convince yourself being like, oh, well, we just got to get that defense back to where it was.

Right.

When it's the same exact thing as it always has been, it's hard to get that hope.

If the Penn State had a bad defense, you can reasonably tell yourself, well, the standard has always been a good defense.

We'll get back there.

Yeah.

Exactly.

With a bad offense, that's been the standard, and

what's going to change.

If you guys lost the game 40 to 47, you'd be like, Penn State, we're right in the thick of it.

I don't know.

That's kind of what happened in the Big Ten Championship, though, last year.

So it's like...

They might have broken through, though.

But you also thought last year, you're like, yeah, we could do it.

Hank's shaking his head.

No way they broke through.

They should have gone for two.

They should have gone through.

They should have gone for two.

There would have been at least

a little finality to it where it's like, all right, you lose going for two.

Like, man, they were right there.

It's just the way that the interception went.

Man.

Yeah, if you lose going for two, James Franklin, he at least gets some credit for having some balls.

That throw, I don't know how you make that throw.

There was no recipe to success for that throw.

I want to call my shot with Drew Aller right now.

What are you going to say that he's a bust?

Insurance?

No.

I think this man is going to have a Chase Daniel-type career as a backup quarterback.

Oh.

I think this guy is grown in a lab to be a journeyman backup, very successful career, millionaire, top 0.001% of quarterback to ever play the game of football, but never be the guy to start it.

But a great backup.

But the only problem with that is...

Thinking more like Jake Fromm.

The only problem with that, though, PFT, is he's going to get like a.

Or Christian Hackenberg.

Christian Hackenberg, yeah.

He's going to get like a real shot to

start.

Yeah, he will.

Where?

He's really bad at that.

Start where?

In the NFL.

No.

No.

I think draft, the scouts will fall in love with the traits.

The Jets will take him in the second round.

Hank, it is the traits.

What the fuck?

Max, that was me.

That was me.

In the second round, it means It was me.

James, you would get excited for Drew Aller in the second round.

You made your point when you said Christian Hackenberg.

You didn't have to drive it home.

Well,

that was my point.

Christian Hackenberg, good guy.

Yeah.

He's a 6'5 quarterback who has a big arm.

The NFL will always give a guy like that a shot.

Yeah, I guess.

He's bad.

They'll always give him a shot.

Yes, this man is going to be a 15-year backup.

That one throw was good.

I was thinking about this.

Do you think the NFL quarterbacking would be better if we made a rule where every college quarterback has to play at least four years of college football?

That's a one position?

Just quarterbacks.

Where it's like, we just got to, we want to make sure.

We want to really make sure there's an exclusive club to be an NFL quarterback.

It's

32 spots.

We're not going to just let anyone in there.

Unless you win the Heisman.

Because if he had gone last year, he would have

gone.

I like that, Hank.

Heisman gets you out.

You can unlock your potential.

Heisman or National Championship, you're free to go.

Yeah.

Everything else, I like that a lot.

I still think the biggest problem with Penn State right now is they can't run the football.

And this whole team is predicated on being able to run the football.

And for some reason, Nick Singleton is

he was supposed to go down as one of the best running backs in Penn State history, and he's running for like two yards of carry this year.

when he's been so good his entire career.

It makes no sense.

He's got to get going for Penn State's offense to do anything.

yeah what uh was it was that real the the screenshot of the of him snapchatting was that real i don't know it's it's hard it's hard to know i respect i think everything is real also respect his game drew allergy yeah i it was hilarious yeah i mean if you're a if you're a big 10 if you're a power uh four quarterback on a big-time campus

Just like snapping a girl and being like, want to come over and suck me off, I think that probably works.

He's a direct communicator.

Yeah.

This is a a guy that's in charge of the offense.

It was a question.

Simple question.

Yeah, it's not like.

Simple question.

He's running the spread.

He was literally asking for consent.

Yeah, right.

Like, do you want to come suck me off?

I don't know.

Again,

we don't know if that was him or not.

No, we have no idea.

No, we have no idea.

But if

I'm saying more, if there's a hypothetical, if that is how quarterbacks, all quarterbacks, not just Drew Allard, all quarterbacks in power four programs are acting.

The question is fair to just be like, hey, practice ends at five.

Do you want to come suck me off?

Who wants to sex my Tumbo?

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

I also think that saying it might not be him because who says, like, practice ends at five?

Yeah.

That's like a little on the novice to be like, yeah, I'm a quarterback.

Yeah, it's probably most likely fake.

My practice is over at five.

And it's also,

I'm always skeptical of one of these screenshots coming out right after a performance where everyone's mad at him because it feels like a pylon effect.

Like, oh, I can get

free publicity by making this up.

So I'm going to say fake Snopes.

Fake, but Snopes, the thing that used to do the fake thing?

Yeah,

but would be funny if true.

If true, funny, well played, but PMT Snopes rules fake.

So did you see the other news in college sports?

I have one quote.

Did you guys talk with Brandon about Dan Lanning being so happy for Josh Allen?

Yes.

No,

not in those words.

Exactly.

Dan Lanning is a fired up dude.

Yeah, very.

Very fired up.

He's a fucking good coach.

Very fired up.

Very fired up.

Really fired up.

Yeah.

Incredibly fired up.

Alarmingly fired up.

Wow, it's a big time win.

Jaw like Bill Cower.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fired up.

That guy grinds.

Yes.

Big time.

Mm-hmm.

He snuffed out the competition.

He did.

Big time.

I thought he did a great job.

Like, their offense threw eight balls that were fantastic.

Mm-hmm.

At least.

Eight perfect balls.

But yeah, Dan Lennon is a great coach.

They got a nose for the goal line.

Yeah.

What was the other thing you were saying?

Just the update about the rules that they're going to put in place for NIL

in Congress.

Okay.

So they're debating it right now, and some of the rules have leaked out a little bit.

They're going to allow college football teams to wear sponsorship patches

on the jerseys.

Okay.

Which would be very interesting to see.

What?

Okay.

What are you?

I got one.

I'm thinking about what Mac School

we pay for to have pmt on it

can't state or toledo toledo yeah

sprinkle i think it has to be toledo it has to probably be toledo cat would rock because i don't know how much that would go for but we could probably

i think probably like

a million what were you gonna say

grambling state

uh tramp stamp uh branding

the bottom of the jersey the bottom i love that beam man i love that yeah what do you think Hey, memes, what do you think about Georgia?

All-state?

The general?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Maybe just emoji of sirens?

Yeah.

Miami should do Coke.

Maybe Georgia's just a speed limit.

Yeah.

Actually, Oregon, Dan Lanning, sponsored by Coke.

Yeah.

There was another rule that says that, yeah, the conference can't prohibit jersey patches in any sport as long as they preserve roster spots, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

There's another rule that says that if you get drafted in the NFL, you can say, actually, no, I'd rather not play for that team.

I'll go back to college.

Oh, the Florio rule.

So, yeah, you can turn down a draft spot.

I don't think it hasn't been signed into law yet, but this is the bill that is currently making its way through Congress.

I do think that will be used.

I don't think it would be used in high-profile, like first-round stuff.

Right.

But I definitely think it would be used in

a late, like, because you know how there's the.

If an agent tells a guy hey I think I put a like second third round grade on you that's what I'm hearing yeah and they get picked in the last round right draft I could definitely see them saying no I'll go back to school and there's some guys who like in the seventh who get drafted in the seventh round actually wish they didn't get drafted because they don't get to pick where they want to go so if you get drafted in the seventh round you're like fuck it I'll go back to school and make money right the worst spot to get drafted is it's not Mr.

Irrelevant because at least you get the parade and you get sponsorships and everyone talks about you the guy before Mr.

Irrelevant yeah is the new Mr.

Irrelevant.

Yes.

Because he has to go to one training camp and can't pick where he wants to try out.

Maybe we should sponsor that draft selection.

Mr.

Irrelevanter?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah, that's good.

Okay, do we have anything else or should we do hot seat cool thrown?

Let's do some hot seat cool throne.

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Henry, hot seat, cool throne.

My hot seat is, I mean, it's basically just all, it's a lot of people with the NBA Media Day was yesterday.

Kawhi had some weird answers.

He got asked about, you know, the investigation, everything with Steve Ballmer.

Pablo Torrey also came out with another updated podcast this week about more suspicious funds and like all these weird backdoor sponsorships where there's no deliverables, people are getting paid to do nothing.

And Kawhi's answer was just like, it's a conspiracy.

It's clickbait.

It never happened.

He said, it's a clickbait conspiracy.

And credit to Ramona Shelborne because she just kept asking the follow-up questions.

At one point, she asked him, What's one example of something that you did for the sponsorship?

And he was just like, I mean, there's

a lot of stuff, but I'm not going to get into the details because it's a lot of conspiracies out there about it.

And she's like, okay, but like one thing that you did to earn the $49 million or whatever.

He's like, you know, there's just a lot of people talking and they're going to get their clicks.

I'm just here to play basketball.

I think I need to use the word allegedly here, but he's allegedly very, very guilty of everything that Pablo Torrey is accusing.

And

I don't really blame Kawhi.

No.

He wants to get paid money.

Yeah, I don't blame Palmer.

And if somebody offers it, listen, the Clippers have offered no-show jobs in the past to James Harden.

Yeah.

But this is,

it's more unfair in in terms of the competitive balance if your team isn't doing this.

It seems like they're going to cover it.

NBA's going to cover it up because I think there's a lot of teams.

Right.

So Pablo's investigation is great, and I believe all the work he's done, but I also just keep having the feeling of, I wish my owner did that.

Yeah.

Like, I think most fans have that.

Like, it's not, how could the Clippers do it?

It's more like, hey, Jerry Reinsruff, can you start paying people off

under the table?

Yeah.

And then the NBA can figure.

You're right.

The NBA does feel like the Clippers should, I think I said this

when this first came out.

The Clippers are going about this the wrong way.

Like Ballmer going and defending himself, Kawhi saying clickbait.

What the Clippers should do is just burn the whole fucking thing down.

Just be like, this team, this team, this team, they all did it too.

Just fucking take everyone down with you.

Because they're not going to be able to suspend everyone, right?

Yep.

I also like the fact that both Balmer and Kawhi Leonard are going the, they actually conned me route yeah kawaii's like they owe me money i'm the victim i don't know they're they're frauds so i listen they i'm a victim just like anybody else in this case what was the most shocking oh that guy's on that team now kevin durant kevin durant yeah i was gonna say chris tops yeah didn't realize he was on the hawks yeah i forgot about that uh also chris paul just looking like killy so old

like The most washed anyone's ever looked is Chris Paul.

I think it's because he shaved his head fully.

Yeah, that was a shocking one.

Kevin Love.

Kevin Love on the jazz.

Whoa.

That's weird.

He said they're going to call him up.

Shit.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Third Warriors, sad.

LeBron saying this may be his last meaty day.

Oh, of course.

Wow, Kevin Love on the jazz.

LeBron's definitely starting another league.

He got a little Grey Ghoster tag in him.

LeBron's starting another league.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, the Saudi, that's what I was going to talk about a cool throne, but the EA Sports sold for $55 billion.

Yes, and what happened there?

They sold for $55 billion.

To who?

To the PIF and like Jared Jared Kushner Company.

Yeah.

And they're just buying that?

It's, yeah.

Saudi Arabia now owns EA Sports.

$55 billion.

They're taking it private so they can do whatever they want with it.

Let me hold the bill.

So now there's going to be, like,

they are just completely sports-washing everything.

Yeah, they're doing it like unbelievable jobs.

They're trying to find every way to reach anyone under the age of 40 in America and then make them think that Saudi Arabia is a cool place.

Really cool guys.

Chill people.

Yeah.

What, Hank?

55 billion?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Paid a premium.

Who is there?

Who owns EA Sports?

Who did own EA Sports?

I'm not sure.

There's one guy who just made off with like 20 bill?

I'm not sure who actually sold it.

They've been a publicly traded company since 1990.

But I don't know who the CEO was.

The largest all-cash-sponsored private investment in history.

Yeah, so they're taking it completely private.

They're going to be off the stock market.

That's crazy.

And yeah, so they just have enough money.

And they're smart because they know that the fossil fuels that they sell, that's not going to last forever.

There's only so many dead dinosaurs that they can dig up.

So they're trying to diversify all their funds and make sure that they're going to be rich as fuck for the next hundred years as opposed to just the next 50 years.

And there's not a lot that we can do about it.

No.

Because if they offer somebody

$1 million to do a 30-minute stand-up set, they're going to do the 30-minute stand-up set.

What?

How much for a one-off pod?

We've already said we will do this pod just personally, do this pod for $100 million.

$100 million is my price for everything.

We'll take it offline and we'll just do the pod.

We'll just do everything.

We'll have to get that more than that.

No,

$100 million, I will do do anything.

You think we got to do more than that?

Appreciate for it.

I'll be a very principled man when it comes to Saudi Arabia.

I turned down some live money.

$200 million?

$300 million?

Stop me.

$55 billion?

I think we could get at least a billy.

You think we get a billion for Barn MyTick?

I don't think so.

But if they want to.

I mean, what'd the Kelsey brothers get?

Like $200 million?

I don't know.

Okay, well, hit us up.

Hit our line.

Although the Saudis might be mad at me.

I just know.

You fucked us.

You fucked us.

Fuck us.

I just know

no matter how much money they paid me, at some point I would make a joke about a journalist.

And then they'd be like, okay, well, now you have to.

We got to cut your throat out.

Yeah.

But the money.

But the money.

You always get a new throat.

I mean,

they could have their public beheading guy chop your pinky off.

Done.

Oh, that one, 100 mil.

That's fair.

pinky for 100 mil

uh

okay your cool tone also lonzo ball said uh that was my cool tone okay no no you can do it he just said he didn't know cleveland had water which was relatable very funny i like that he didn't know it had water yeah i think he means a lake but yeah got it okay yeah i i think he knew they had water but he said he was walking around and he he saw there's a big lake right there yeah i'm on his side on that i remember the first time we went to wisconsin and we were like looking at the lake and i was like,

you mean Madison?

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah, South the Ocean.

I drove through Cleveland once and I like spent the night there driving from the East Coast to Chicago.

And I like stayed on a hotel on the lake and I was like, this.

Cleveland's a lot nicer than people say.

Like it looks, it looks nice.

Great Lakes are great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're cool.

On fire.

My cool throne is New York baseball team's inexplicably keeping their manager after bad year.

Oh, why would happen?

The Mets are sticking with their guy, Carlos Mendoza.

Okay.

Memes, not to pile on, but what did you think about Steve Cohen tweeting, like, sorry?

It's fine.

The thing I don't like is that graphic.

Which one?

Thank you fans.

Oh, that was.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, come on.

You got to know your market.

Like, the thank you fans is something that you can put out in, like, Kansas City

or, you know, Colorado.

There's a bunch of fans cheering.

You can't do that for New Yorkers.

They're gonna, they're gonna fucking freak out, which rightfully so.

Okay, good job.

PFT.

Hank took two of mine.

Yeah.

Good job, Hank.

So I'm just gonna do my Cool Throne.

Okay.

Cool Throne is ice cream.

Sure.

Because Cincinnati is Graders ice cream.

It came out with Cincinnati chili-flavored ice cream.

Nope.

And I'm gonna try to get them to send some soft serves.

Nope.

We're not putting that in the machine.

Yeah.

No, we're not.

I think

we're not putting that in the machine.

If the Reds win the World Series, it goes in the soft serve funnel.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Okay.

That's fair.

And if they don't win the World Series, you got to put chili, you got to boof chili.

You have to make your own chili ice cream.

You got to put it up your butt.

You got to butt funnel.

Butt funnel chili.

Butt funnel chili.

I actually think that chili might not be the worst thing to butt funnel.

I guess.

Done.

Yeah, poison.

choose if you had to choose a food i think that chili is top three for what you'd have to butt funnel

yeah i mean it i can see i can see where you're coming on that you're so hot yeah what well no i wouldn't have i wouldn't like heat it up before

you're gonna eat wait you're gonna eat chilies almost cold chili

hang on yeah no i think you heat it up to 98.6 degrees body temperature and the consistency of it it's like that mashed potatoes no probably that would that would get stuck

heating it up to 9.8.6, that's hot.

That's body temperature.

Yeah, but that would be hot.

I think you wouldn't.

It would be hot to touch.

No, I think you wouldn't even feel it.

No, definitely not.

What are you talking about?

No, yeah, now that I'm thinking about it.

98.6 degrees, if you have a cup of water that's 98.6 degrees, that's hot water.

That would be the exact same sensation as actually getting fucked in your body.

Yeah, that's a hot.

Let's heat this up to skin temperature so it feels nice.

Think about when it's 98 degrees out.

You're not like, oh, this is the perfect temperature.

Yeah, no, I think

like probably,

what, upper 70s?

When you get in the ocean, yeah, the Caribbean Ocean.

98 degrees getting in the ocean.

It's like, it's kind of hot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

But yeah, I'm excited about playoff baseball.

The Reds, they got a tough task.

Yeah.

Going to L.A.

Yeah.

All right.

My hot seat is

Rory.

Rory's getting kind of...

dragged a little bit because of he had some comments about the fans and then obviously he was chirping uh the Bryson D.

Chambeau, that whole video that went out.

Also, he tried to get a fan kicked out.

The fan did use a slur.

Where do you guys stand on Rory?

Was he soft?

Because it is a little bit...

There was a lot of the fans were brutal, the fans were bad.

I feel like

you can't be like, the fans are bad, but also be screaming, fuck off to the fans, right?

Well, did they say that?

I mean, when they're going to like wife and personal shit.

Agreed on that.

A slur.

I think you can be like, fuck off, and then also be like, they were bad.

Yeah.

I don't think.

But then do you think there's anything to be said about him like covering up Bryson's name and like no, I think that's what we like, isn't it?

I like it, but I'm saying he also was like, you guys

went too far and then he's kind of gloating going too far.

I think that.

The Bryson thing is separate.

The Bryson was like chirping him before the tournament, being like, I hope we play, yada, yada, yada.

Yeah.

So him going up, like that's.

Bryson took not shots, but was like, you know, coming at him a little bit before the Ryder Cup.

So it was like a fair, especially with the Pioneer stuff.

It's like a fair.

I didn't think that was just like he happened to be standing over and was like, oh, look at this.

Okay.

I think that you can say, fuck off.

Off to the victors go the spoils.

I think it's like, yeah, no, but you can, I agree with that 100%.

But he also was like very sanctimonious of like, this is too, everyone went too far.

You can think it did, though.

You can fight fire with fire, and you can fire back at them with the same things that they hit you with.

But if someone hits you with a slur, you can't go back at them.

Right.

Like, the only thing that you can do is be like, hey, that guy's saying slurs.

Yeah, the white.

Was it an anti-Irish slur?

No, it was

a pro-English cigarette slur.

Got it.

Yeah.

Got it.

Okay.

And yeah, so Rory probably can't.

No.

Or he could and just be like, I'm talking about...

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I'm sick of all this cigarette smoke.

Get all these cigarettes out of here.

I'm not the biggest Rory fan, but

yeah, I mean, he does get to celebrate anyone he wants.

Yeah.

He also had the best year of all time.

It's like tough to, you know.

Well, Scotty.

I would take, I think I'd take Rory's year.

You would?

What?

Scotty won everything.

Rory won the Masters, the Players,

one at Pebble.

What did Scotty win?

Scotty.

But he hit the career Grand Slam, too.

That's

Andy won in a way Ryder Cup.

Which, like, okay.

I don't really count the Ryder Cup as anything because we lost.

Exhibition.

I will say, so my cool throne is, or sorry, this is actually my.

I have double hot seat.

It's me, and I need your help, Hank, because I did tweet out on Monday morning it was hard for me to hate the European team because I saw the clip of them in the bus when they were doing the song.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Europe's on fire.

USA is terrified.

Europe's on fire.

USA is terrified.

There's so good a chance.

I love Tommy Fleetwood.

I don't think I have.

It goes back to what we were saying on Sunday.

Like, the European team feels like they're just like best friends.

And Team USA never has that vibe.

And I don't know.

I just, I can't hate them that much.

You know what sucked is the fact that we were favored going into this Ryder Cup.

I think it'd be way easier to be like...

It's always easy to root for the U.S.

if they're underdogs.

Yeah.

Right?

But it's the U.S.

Yeah, but

it makes people root.

Like, we love an underdog story.

Yeah.

If Europe, and they probably should have been favored going to this Ryder Cup, if they were favored, I think everybody would have been like,

way.

It would be way easier to get behind the U.S.

guys, even the ones you don't really like that much.

They were just favored because everyone wants to bet on the U.S., right?

No.

It's home

teams don't lose the Ryder Cup at home.

Yeah.

Except for U.S.,

yeah.

Yeah.

Europe's on fire.

USA is terrified.

Europe's on fire.

USA is terrified.

No, no, no, no, no.

Who wrote that song?

Doubles?

It's freed from desire by.

I'm ashamed to say that I did listen to it.

I mean, it's just when.

Oh, that song is a.

I mean, it's like.

When you have an awesome song and everyone's partying and on a bus and the vibes are the highest they could possibly be, it's really hard.

Freed from Desire by Gala.

Who gets the Ryder Cup?

Do they share it?

Do they pass it around?

I don't know.

They also just.

You get a day with it?

Happy birthday to Frankie.

Frankie Fleetwood.

That was awesome.

I did not see that.

The whole fucking team.

Yeah.

Singing happy birthday to him.

All right.

Here I'll come back with one thing to say.

They all live in America.

And

Sep Stracha, that's not fair.

You have a southern accent.

Yeah.

He's a Georgian guy.

When I heard him talk, I was just like, this is crazy.

He's a Georgian guy.

Although, I like what his friends said about him because he grew up saying he was 50% Austrian, 50% American.

They're like, no, Sep, no, you're 100% Austrian and you're 100% American.

Yeah.

I guess the name.

The name, I can't even get back.

I can't.

He even looks at the Sep Stracha name.

He even looks like an American.

Yeah.

He's a big boy.

Yeah.

But yeah, I don't.

I can't.

Do you do you agree with me, Hank?

Like, it's hard to hate the European team.

Yeah, no.

Who's hateable?

I think you can hate Rory.

Yeah, I don't like Rory, but the rest of the team, it's like, I don't really have an opinion.

And I love Tommy Fleetwood.

I like a lot of those.

And I like Justin Rose.

I like Hatton.

Justin Rose walking in that putt was the most badass thing ever.

That was disgusting.

Yeah, Hatton, Lowry, those guys are just.

They're good.

Yeah.

Fuck.

John Rom.

John Rahm.

I like John Rahm.

Damn it.

Patrick, A.W., recurring guest.

It just feels like we're meant to hate these guys.

It's like, I don't, it's not.

It's not like USA Canada when we play in the Olympics and hockey, where it's like, I'm going to fucking, I really, you know, feel some kind of way.

I don't know.

It's just.

I guess I got to find a way to get some hate up for the golfers.

Why don't they ever do Scramble in the Ryder Cup?

That'd be so sick.

Because it would just be a birdie fan.

Yeah, but it already was.

Keegan fucked fucked up the course.

Scramble would not be fun.

Shane Bacon, I saw our friend Shane Bacon was doing his show, CBS on Golf, and

he was like, that was the worst course setup ever.

It was like the least exciting golf because everyone just got birdies and everyone could hit every single shot.

Yeah.

Like they were spinning balls off the rough, shit like that.

Just crazy.

So we fucked up.

Zach, hot seat Coultron.

My hot seat this week is going, I'm going to have to put myself in the hot seat.

This morning I may have committed like a cardinal coworker sin by mistake.

Oh, boy.

Which is not good.

And I would like to apologize to a few people.

Microwave fish?

I did not do that.

That is also a sin.

Nobody should microwave fish.

But I got here around 8, 8.15 this morning.

I was excited to start the day.

I was like, we're going to have a good show, good day.

Put my stuff down, go out.

I'm like, all right, we'll get the ice cream situation situated early.

You know, we'll get everything flipped, all the cones stocked.

And then immediately, as soon as I'm on the other side of the court, getting the machine down,

a truck siren goes off across the building.

And I instantly knew that it was one of the several alarms that I set on my phone.

And like there's people at desks trying to get early work done, trying to get dialed.

And I couldn't have sprinted faster to the other side.

They tried to be, they were outwardly understanding, but I know I just ruined many mornings.

Wait, so it was at your desk?

I left the phone here, and then I was the furthest you can be from this corner desk.

Your desk is like right by where a lot of people are working.

Can we hear the

hear the phone alarm?

I can play it.

Also, what time was this?

This was 8.15.

Okay.

So like

the people working are just dialed in.

There's not many people moving and shaking.

And everyone looks over because that's very clearly an alarm that you set to wake up in the morning.

And it takes you 15 seconds to run over to turn it off.

Maybe 25.

I'm not a fan.

I got short legs, but I did do the best I could.

I felt so bad.

It It was

terrible co-worker move.

Okay.

Let's hear the alarm.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to.

All right, maybe I can.

You just set it again for...

Oh, set it for like 11.01.

Yeah, set it for, yeah.

All right.

Do your cruel throne and just set it and forget it for a minute from now.

Zach, are you a set a new alarm every time, guy?

Or are you a use your old alarms that you already have?

You can repurpose them.

I just hit the button every morning, so then you just have like a list and

you go down, you fly the list down all on.

Don't forget, people will be mad at you.

And then you got to turn them off when you wake up.

Yeah, I've got, I think I have maybe 30 different times that are set for alarms right now.

And so I just pick one that's close to whatever I need

the next day.

I have just two.

I just have an AM and a P.

M.

If I nap, I'll add a PM.

That's that's it.

Do you edit?

Yeah, I edit it every morning.

I edit it every night, but I just just have two alarms, and I just, before I go to bed, I change it to the AM, and then whenever I am able to catch a nap, I'll use the PM.

I don't trust one alarm.

I always do like four or five.

Really?

Yeah.

Just in case.

I mean, I guess I'm also a different.

My kids will wake me up anyway.

All my titles for alarms are like a little time capsule in the past.

Look at memes.

I've got past memories.

Memes.

That was so many alarms.

Yeah,

I got like the mics were off.

The mics were off.

You got to do it again.

You got to do it again.

It did scare me a little bit, though.

Yeah, look.

I just have two alarms.

A.M.

and P.M.

Memes.

That was like 1,000 alarms.

How many memes do you have more than this?

I think I have like 40.

No, he's got memes had like 40.

So it looks like I have one every

15 minutes.

For the whole day?

Till.

Yeah, no.

11.38 p.m.

is the final one.

That's crazy.

So you just.

What does that do?

I just always have...

Want to take a nap?

You just set an alarm.

Yeah, I've got 36, 36 different alarms.

And some I very clearly gave labels to back in like 2012.

Yeah.

My most common one is just email chestnut because for some reason I needed to email Joey Chestnut.

That's the 8 a.m.

one.

And I think I need it.

Oh, there it is.

No, that's brutal, Zach.

Yeah, I did that to people at their desks this morning, and I feel terrible.

I wish I could be a one-alarm guy.

I just, in full transparency, I'm not there.

Yeah, someday.

Oh, I just had an alarm go off right now.

I made a reminder for myself a few weeks ago:

give ceiling on commander's season.

I think you guys asked me that.

Oh, okay.

Maybe on like the 9th of September, and I said I'd answer you at the end of the month.

So give us the ceiling.

All right.

So the ceiling on the commander's season,

I think at the best,

this team is going to be good enough

to lose in the second round of the playoffs.

That's the ceiling.

I think that's the ceiling.

So the ceiling

is not the NFC championship.

I don't think so.

So you're worse this year than you were last year.

The final result of the season is going to be worse this year than it was last year.

That can't.

It's one or the other because the ceiling last year was higher than the ceiling you just said.

So it has to be.

And

you think that they're worse than they were last year.

I think we're going to be a better team by the end of the year.

Then the ceiling would have to at least be the same.

I think the ceiling

is lose in the second round of the playoffs.

Then you think that they're worse than the worst game.

But we get fucked by the refs.

We should have won.

That doesn't.

Yeah, no, it makes sense.

That is worse.

It has to be worse.

If you think that's the ceiling, then it has to be worse.

No.

I think we're going to be better football.

There's a lot of words.

Then the ceiling is the same.

The film's going to be better.

Then the ceiling is the same.

We're going to get fucked by the refs.

Ceiling is the roof.

So officially, not thinking soupy this year.

Does everyone want to do ceilings?

We can beat your ceilings real quick.

If we beat the Chargers this weekend.

Ceiling.

I'm happy to do ceiling.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Ceiling.

NFC divisional loss.

Okay.

Zach, ceiling

for the Bucs.

I mean, it's.

I think second-round playoff loss.

Oh, I think it could be.

You got to be Super Bowl.

Yeah, you got to be Super Bowl.

Retract that.

You can say Super Bowl.

Super Bowl.

You can say Super Bowl.

We just jumped over the NFC Championship game.

No, they just won that.

We got to go through some guys, and then we're there.

Yeah.

Straight through them.

Don't even mention them.

Yeah, you are in the game with the Eagles.

The Eagles obviously are Super Bowl ceiling, so you can say Super Bowl ceiling.

Yeah.

Max, Super Bowl.

Yeah, Super Bowl.

Memes?

Seven seed.

Seven seed.

Yeah, but

the floor is

dead last.

Yeah.

That's the floor.

Okay.

Oh, we should do floors next.

I would like to put Super Bowl appearance asterisk

on what happens Sunday night.

That's your ceiling.

I think we're going to shock the world this Sunday, and then

anything's possible.

Okay.

But the asterisk, if we get smoked, then.

That'd be lucrative for you.

I know.

I think

wildcard.

I'm not scared to support my team and my second-year quarterback, who I believe in.

Wildcard loss is the bare ceiling.

That would be an incredible

season.

It'd be fun.

Yeah.

Max.

Oh, the floor.

I don't want to think about the floor.

Ooh.

Say the floor.

It's dark.

You want to go floor first?

I think the floor is

second round playoff loss.

Okay.

That's what we're going to do.

Okay.

That's what this team's going to do.

Write it down right now.

Commanders make the second round.

We might even

smoke the wild card team in the first round.

Is that because Hank just kind of bullied you into saying that?

What?

With what?

Second year.

Oh, I thought he was talking about Big Cat.

He was looking at both of us.

Well, the thing about Hank is he's going to change his mind entirely in like four days.

So it doesn't matter.

He was fair point

after.

That's a fair point.

Yeah.

Week one.

He literally said, we're not going to go, we have no chance of winning eight games because you lost week one.

And I do the same thing, but

you can't just pretend that you've always just been confident.

Yeah.

No, but you said that.

You're like,

then your quarterback goes and has the best, you know, best rating out of all the quarterbacks in week three, and it's like, or week four, and yeah, anything's possible.

Okay.

Yeah.

You're a film guy.

Floor, Zach.

Graft guy.

If we're talking floors, graphs are good.

These graphs are really good.

No injuries involved in floors.

No injuries involved in floors.

Okay.

I think things can get dark quick for any team.

So I think floor is like six wins.

Whoa.

Like, I think it could happen to all any of us at any time.

But if there are injuries, then you can just be like, that's my prediction for the floor did not account injury.

So you can't be held account for that.

Yeah.

I'll say wild card loss.

Okay.

That's the floor.

Floor.

Floor memes, zero wins.

Max, do you see...

Just pick him first.

Pick him first.

Do you see the stat, Max?

That should be your ceiling.

Schefter just put out...

Oh, that was mean.

That was mean.

He just said that that should be your ceiling, memes.

Picking first.

Yeah, it's rude.

Schefter just said through four games this season, the Eagles have been out-gained by 327 yards, the fourth worst margin in the NFL.

Whoa.

Here's the thing about that.

I don't give a fuck.

What if you start losing, though, then you'll give a fuck?

And the signs are there.

They're winning.

Okay.

Okay.

Your floor?

Floor, lowest to the low, worst case scenario would probably be losing one of the games to the Jets.

So you could hit your ceiling and your floor.

Yeah.

It would be the first team ever.

If you win the Super Bowl, but lose to the Jets.

Just make the Super Bowl.

That's ceiling and floor.

No, Hank would be the second person to ever do it because I could have potentially hit my ceiling and and floor at the same time a few weeks earlier.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My floor, I'm going to say

four wins.

Four wins would be the floor.

I think that would be a pretty big disaster.

That's a bad floor.

But

that's a floor.

La floor.

That is a floor.

Okay.

Let's get to our interviews.

We got Brandon Walker and then

Lane Kiffen.

And then we'll finish off with Guys on Chicks.

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And this episode is also brought to you by Uber Eats, reminding fans that if football coincidentally makes you hungry, you can get game day deals on wings, burgers, beer, chips, and more all season long, all on Uber Eats.

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And now here's Lane Kiffen.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest.

He's a recurring guest.

It is coach Lane Kiffin of the Ole Miss Rebels off a big win on Saturday.

First of all, congratulations, huge win.

What was the vibe?

I saw some of your posts on Twitter.

I love that you're active.

The vibe after the game, because it did feel like, I don't want to call it a breakthrough game, but maybe you can say that, like where it was like, this is,

you guys have arrived before, but this was a game that maybe had eluded you before, and then you finally win it.

What was the vibe like after the game?

You know, this may surprise you.

I didn't really have that vibe at all, like a breakthrough game.

You know,

you know, we had the Georgia game here a year ago where I think Georgia was two in the country and won that game.

It's It's actually the same announcers, so it was kind of you know, Molly on the sideline afterwards interview, and it kind of like brought that back to me.

But it didn't, it felt like we just played like we should in a lot of areas, and we won.

We were favored in the game, so it really didn't feel like this monumental win like that,

you know, really at all.

It felt like, hey, we were supposed to win.

We felt good about a number of matchups in the game.

And

our players made a number of plays in those situations.

And,

you know, like the yardage was so lopsided, you know, I think over 220 yards difference in the game in the third downs.

And so, outside of penalties and turnovers, there was really kind of a lopsided game that way.

So, it didn't have that feeling like you just win right at the end, you know, right with a field goal, or you get a bunch of breaks that go your way and happen to win.

Yeah, yeah.

And then, after the game, I'm a big fan of your dog, at least online.

Juice is a very good boy.

Have you had a word with Juice for tweeting out the picture of the hat that said Brian Kelly can't run the damn ball?

I feel like Juice is putting rat poison out there.

He's young.

You know, he's only like three.

Yeah.

So, you know, like you can't really mature until you just mature.

And he's not there yet.

And in his defense, think about it.

This dog's ego is so out of control.

Think about it.

He does the walk.

You know, the champions walk before and there's whatever 30,000 fans there yelling his name, Juice, Juice.

so I worry about our players and their egos you know and everywhere that everybody knows them but they're walking through with a hundred other players he's the only dog yeah we all know his name so that's all he knows like he's got to take pictures with a bunch of fans you know before the game and stuff he gets to tea sometimes so he really hasn't had

Really many humbling things in life yet to kind of ground him.

So,

you know, that's why he does those things, you know, like right after the game.

I mean, come on.

Yeah.

That had to make you so mad when you saw that your dog tweeted that out.

And you were like, come on, man, that's the last thing that I need.

Please stop.

Teeth about not running the ball, Brian Kelt.

Come on.

Is he in the doghouse?

No, because that's the problem.

There's too many people around here that don't discipline him.

I try, and then everybody's like, oh, no, it's Juice.

He's just a dog.

It's an issue.

You know, we've created a monster.

Yeah.

21 years old in dog years, though.

Maybe older does know better.

Yeah,

21.

They don't know anything.

I didn't.

That's for sure.

That's a fact.

I want to talk about your quarterback real quick.

Trinidad.

He's awesome, and he came from Ferris State.

Really cool story.

When you're getting a guy from a transfer portal from Ferris State, what is that process like where you're like, hey, are there question marks?

Can he play at this level?

Because he obviously has proven that he can, but it's got to be a little weird getting a guy from a smaller school like that and stepping up to the SEC.

It's not like stepping up, you know, one level and then going to the SEC.

It's fair state to the SEC.

That's pretty crazy.

Yeah, I think I realized that.

Like, the first meeting we were in, we were in the quarterback meeting, you know, in the fridge, has like water Gatorades and everything.

And he's like, do I need to pay for this?

You know, like,

Trinidad, it's good, man.

You're like, you're going to get a lot of stuff here.

You know, you're in the SEC on full scholarship.

But I love that.

You just said it's a good story.

I love the story.

Because think about how many Division II, Division three players there are out there you know and here's this kid like living the dream and making the most of it you know he gets the opportunity to come here austin's doing really well playing and austin gets hurt and he comes in and she was the national player of the year last uh saturday and so you know he was going from playing in front of you know a thousand people and so you know that that's such Such a good story for all the kids striving out there like, man, if I work hard, maybe I'll get my chance, you know, like playing in Division II, you know instead of like no one's going to notice me and here here this guy is um to to motivate so many so and it's such a it's such a great story like i said here's this short little quarterback a little old miss you know you know playing against nussmeyer and the mighty lsu tigers yeah what a story yeah and and was there a moment in in training camp where you're like okay that we made the right decision this guy can this guy can ball because i'm sure there was probably a small part of you that was like we don't know like we he's we see that he's really good but it is Ferris State, and this is a different level.

And was there that click moment where you're like, okay, yeah, no, this is, this is going to work out.

He, he can ball.

Yeah, he really did well in any scrimmage format.

Like, whenever went in the stadium, he just kind of lit it up.

You know, some people would kind of say, man, there's Trinidad magic going on.

And so he really just made a bunch of plays.

Kind of had a

Baker Mayfield-ish, you know, feel to him, running around and keeping plays alive.

And it's crazy, You know, somebody in our offense, you know, was joking

in our offensive staff, and they're like, you know, Trinidad had more yards than he did one year ago, like, I think this week or something.

And they're like, he was playing Roosevelt College.

Right.

Right.

It's nuts.

It is.

It's, but it's, it's, it's a wonderful, like I said, story for so many, so many people to stay motivated, whether you're at a small high school, small college, whatever it is.

You never know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was this week weird for you?

Was it, is it weird having like everybody across the country talk about your daughter and your daughter's boyfriend, and then you have to answer questions to like journalists, like 55-year-old journalists, being like, hey, tell me about your daughter and her boyfriend.

That seems, it feels like that would be a weird position just as a human being to be in.

Yeah, the first one, a lot of them avoided it, you know, and I remember

the first one that asked me was like, hey, I know you've been getting this question all week.

And I'm like, no, you're the first one.

Most have avoided this.

Yeah.

That's football questions.

But,

you know, I just, I think it's great that I've been through so much in my life, ups, downs, and all that.

And having to have just actually gone through it with the E60

show and having to like recap all those things.

You know, then you're like, you get to a point where you're just like, man, things aren't really that big of a deal.

Just embrace them, go with it.

And

I've now tried to learn to reserve judgment of a situation.

Like things happen, you think, oh, this is terrible.

A firing, you know, a breakup, a

daughter dating a linebacker on the other team, all those things that you might think are terrible.

You don't know.

They might end up being wonderful things.

So,

you know, I got fired from UFC.

I thought my life was over, especially like watching that show and you're on the tarmac and everything.

And look, had that not happened, I would have never gotten a chance to go be with Nick Saban and learn all that and all those relationships and become a much better coach.

So I just embraced it, ran with it.

And

wit's a great kid great family so i look at it as like how hey how blessed are you that you know they're in it they're in a good relationship with great people yeah i like that be open to the universe yeah it's good advice is it is it everything is it a recruiting violation to talk to wit

um

i don't know that's a that's a good question good question i don't mean to blow the whistle on you i was just curious Yeah, after I was like, hey, you know, if you're not going to the NFL, that portal comes open.

But yeah, no I actually leading up to it I was like I think Lane Kivens is the perfect guy to to handle this because you you immediately took to to Twitter and were having fun with it and it's like it's clear it's not bothering him everyone assumes the worst of it and they're like oh he's gonna be so bothered it's like I think he's gonna be fine and Olmus is gonna win this game did you did you feel a little bad that the tempo though did make him puke

Well, it's funny that you, when you just said that about Lane Kivens maybe the one to handle this, I was like, you know, what's that saying?

You know, they always say God doesn't give you things you can't handle.

Yeah.

So I probably am the one coach

to put that on the week of the game.

Yeah.

And just handle it.

Yeah.

And the way you reacted, I was like, he's fine.

Like he's joking about it openly.

I think you wouldn't joke about it openly if it was like a thing that shocked you.

I assumed you had known for a while that she was dating him.

And like, I was like, yeah, he's handling it perfectly.

But the puking, that was a little mean.

Shouldn't have done that type of tempo on him.

Hey, man, we got to win the game.

and even though I embraced it and he's a great kid and everything, we might have increased the tempo just a little bit, you know, like

plays in the first half, you know,

see if we can get this guy to throw up, you know.

Yeah.

So how do you handle the week after?

You guys have a season that's ramping up right now, but you're feeling pretty good about yourself.

You give the guys any time off?

We're grinding right now.

We got to get better.

And that's just not coach speak, man.

We turned the ball over, lost the turnover margin, had a ton of penalties

that kept that game closer than it would have been otherwise.

So we're back to work.

We do have a buy.

Then that next week we'll get on to Washington State.

We're actually using these two days to work on Georgia so that we have some prep for that because that's the game after it.

And

I have these two advanced guys that are like the best football guys ever, and they are like.

the biggest fans of you guys.

Oh, I love it.

They got to come say hi, man.

Yes.

Yeah.

Fisher Ray, Sawyer Jordan, like the the key

of our offensive.

Yes, good.

All right.

So we got a question for you guys.

I made that the L, by the way.

Love that.

Love that.

So we, when PFT and I like travel to college games, we oftentimes see like NFL scouts and they'll

like be like, hey, we love listening to you.

And if you guys are true football guys and you know football, why the fuck do you listen to how stupid we sound talking about football?

Are there times when you're listening and you're like, God damn it, these guys are dumb?

For me, I kind of like the

secondary twist on it.

And I like laughing.

I like it not as serious all the time.

Yeah.

I personally enjoy it.

I think you guys know ball, though.

You guys are ball knowers.

That's a red flag.

Didn't you think that?

Yeah, yeah.

Fire him.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

He's a great guy.

Low awareness.

I love

eval.

Fisher and Sawyer are great names for advanced scouts at Ole Miss.

Yeah.

That's perfect.

Yeah.

And great pickleball players.

They kind of do everything.

Oh, hell yeah.

You guys should come to a game.

We'll play you pickleball, staff baseball.

We kind of do a lot around here.

Can the stadium handle us and Mincy at the same time?

I don't think so.

We'll kick Mincy out.

These two want to play Mincy and John Gruden two-on-two, man.

I love that.

That'd be

a good matchup.

I would just like to see Mincy run.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you, boys, for listening.

We appreciate it.

Still some time.

Do you guys have any words for Brandon Walker?

He's on today's show, too.

We appreciate how big of a fan of the program he is.

He always seems to know a lot about what's going on inside.

Who's that?

That's the Mississippi guy?

Yeah, he's a salesman.

Ask him how that game Saturday was in Nealon Stadium.

No, that was at home.

That was at Mississippi City.

It was a great loss.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Did you see it?

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

I get it now.

Yeah.

There were a lot of Tennessee fans.

I think there was, yeah.

They were getting mad because faculty was selling the tickets.

It is funny.

You got to watch out for those guys, though, seriously, because we fill people's brains with some really dumb thoughts.

And you've got to just make sure, like, you maybe have to put them on a snap count of like, hey, you can only listen to a couple hours this week because

all of a sudden you're going to be getting, they're going to be.

pitching you laterals, fake punt punts, just all kinds of crazy shit.

Hey, PFT, I'm all about the lateral, man.

We need more laterals.

Yeah, talk to him.

I've been saying for like 10 years, the future of offense is the design downfield laterals.

I mean, we do the hooked ladders.

That's been around for forever.

But I mean, like, if you get a couple defenders running to make a tackle, you're going to have guys, if they're in open channels to the side, you can hit them 10 yards, take off chunk plays.

Yep.

So

they have tried to...

Sell me and Charlie Weiss our offensive coordinator.

I didn't even know that you guys talked about this.

And if they think about like in seven-on-seven tournaments and the ability to lateral and keep the ball alive and the explosive plays created because everybody runs towards it and get out of think of a new box a way of thinking, and you'd be a much more explosive offense if you did it that way.

And you would tire the defense even more because they'd have to chase you around.

Yeah.

And what it also does, it makes the guy that, if you throw it to a wide receiver, it makes him more likely to have a chunk play too because the other defenders are maybe a little hesitant to all swarm on that guy because they don't want to leave the guy open.

If you watch a lot of rugby, that's like the number one principle of offensive rugby is to make the defenders make a commitment to one guy and then exploit the weakness.

So, in a few years, when we're up for some head coaching jobs, yeah, we can

come work for us.

Yeah, absolutely.

We'll say that you're the hot name.

Perfect.

Coach, have you thought about the fake punt punt?

What?

The fake punt punt.

Fake punt punt.

Yeah, you talked about punt.

Okay, so you line up like you're about to punt.

And then you line up like you're about to punt,

and then you snap it to a running back like you're going to fake it, and then the running back pitches it back to the punter, and then he punts.

Okay, all right.

Flea flicker punt.

Yes, yes, it's a fake punt punt.

Hmm.

Okay.

Think about it.

Then we saw Ben Johnson.

Over the weekend, he did the fake flea flicker where the running back kept it after faking the pitch.

What about the fake fake flea flicker where he fakes the pitch, then fakes a run, then pitches it back, and then punts.

Yep.

Pooch punt.

Ooh, like fourth down.

Yeah, like quarterback.

Yeah.

Yeah.

These are all some, there's some, there's some pretty cutting-edge ideas that we've got.

I know you're a cutting-edge guy, so just think about incorporating some of them.

I hear you.

I don't really punt normally, but if you do.

If we do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give them a different look.

Make them kind of fuck them up a little bit.

Again, if there is a coach to listen to this and possibly do this, you're talking to the right one.

Exactly.

I love that.

Exactly.

We can ask you some real football questions.

Like, what do you think about Paul Feinbaum running for Senate?

Hmm.

Because then that means I don't have to deal with him anymore.

Yeah.

Or maybe deal with him a lot more.

I don't know.

Like on the interviews where you're like interviewing with him and then he just freezes and doesn't say anything back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anymore.

Yeah.

He's out of your head.

I think Paul would be great for that.

Okay, yeah.

So give him, you're endorsing him, so that's perfect.

Mitch McConnell's been doing that for years.

You'll freeze.

Yeah, the freeze frame on him.

What is your,

you mentioned right there, not just Coach Speak when you got into Little Coach Speak.

What's the telltale sign of when you're deep into Coach Speak and you're answering a question that you don't want to answer and you just hit him with the cliches?

What's your favorite cliche to go with?

I don't do a lot of that if you follow me.

So I usually just say what it is.

I probably do that when it comes to injuries, you know, because that's more like protecting advantages, competitive advantages.

So that's where I kind of go back to Coach Speak when they're like, you know,

how's his ankle?

You know, and I'm like, they're like, will he play this week?

I'm like,

I really hope he plays this week.

Yeah.

And I say that about everybody.

Yeah, we're evaluating everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It looks like it really looks like he might play this week.

Yeah.

We're taking it one day at a time.

He's been very impressive with all his rehab activity.

Spent a a lot of time with the training staff.

They're doing a great job.

Yeah.

Or like my sixth year in the deep south here in Mississippi,

I start to listen to these things they say down here, and they're actually

way ahead of what you think.

So on something like that, we have this guy, Tom Luke, who's been here forever.

And I'll ask him a question, and he'll go, yeah, we might could.

Matt could.

I'm like, well, what does that, either yes or no?

No, we might could.

And I'm like, that's so stupid.

Then after a while, I'm like, that's brilliant.

Yeah.

You're really not saying anything that you're held accountable.

Mike could.

Yeah.

You're just handing him something.

Hey, come on, we get this done on Friday, the day before the game.

Yeah, we might could.

Yeah.

He's plausible with deniability.

He could just be like, I never said I was going to do it.

I said Mike could.

Yeah.

That is brilliant.

The double maybe.

I might start doing Mike could on people.

Yeah, you do that on injury.

I'm going to start doing that on injury.

Hey, hey, is Austin Simmons playing this week?

Yeah, hey Mike could.

Yeah.

You can also just say that's HIPAA.

You're asking about, you're asking me to commit a HIPAA violation.

Yeah.

Can't talk about that.

Which that's against the law.

Then they made the SEC rule and then like they have to like, you have to say something.

So I think they got around that somehow.

Yeah.

Do you, do you enjoy living in the South?

I do.

I do.

And that was something that

maybe right at first I was a little bit hesitant on

compared to, you know, being in Boca.

coming from there and then you know the beach in California before that.

And so I had to took me some time to kind of open up

to seeing things differently than what I thought

they should look like and what I thought I wanted.

And now I love it.

I really do.

It's awesome.

The hard part for me would be, would be all the like fried food and fat.

And you look great.

You look awesome.

Remember last time you came on and I said you look awesome and you're like, what?

Because you like, you're just commenting on my looks, but you do look awesome.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's getting a little weird.

Yeah, no, you look great.

Nice work.

Best shape of your life?

This is kind of cooler when like the female, you know,

two guys say it's a little uncomfortable.

What?

I mean, you.

Okay.

You look hot.

Okay, now it got really weird.

This is us fishing for a compliment from you.

Yeah, how do we look?

Yeah, you guys look, you guys look okay.

Okay.

Pause.

Yeah.

You're right.

You're right about the fried food.

And so, yes, I do think I'm, you know, I like to be different.

It's kind of been the story of my life.

I kind of like to go against the grain and be different.

So I'm like, probably probably one of the only people ever that moves from like South Florida, California to Mississippi and then loses a bunch of weight.

Yeah.

So I like one set.

You know, like I remember being here like on a Sunday, like, hey, let's go work out.

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, nobody works out on a Sunday.

It's Lord's Day.

No one's at the gyms aren't open.

And so, but they're like, oh, but the buffet line is, you know, let's go to Brun.

Yeah.

And then I noticed every meal was like dinner or supper, I think they say here.

Like lunches are like supper too

and so I just was like, okay, I got to go against the grain on this and just kind of get certain foods and

buy into the south, but not into the food.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got a very dumb question for you.

Ready?

This is the dumbest question you probably will ever get as a coach.

You wear a visor.

Have you ever thought about wearing the visor with the fake hair?

No, I have not.

Okay.

Think about it.

That would be awesome if you just came out with like blonde hair.

It was a fake blonde hair you know the ones they sell at gas stations yeah would be kind of funny i think doug peterson wore those yeah hmm you're thinking about it right i told you it was a dumb question

in college we went back to like tampa like out by st pete to like a the beach out there area and uh we were like we're gonna go to like this 80s band you know like stormbringer was their name and uh we went to like the like dollar store and bought like clothes you know like that would fit in yeah

it's kind of like the florida beaches, like on that side over there.

And, and I do remember we got like the wig deal, you know, and got the rat tail that you can pin on.

Awesome.

Think about it.

Think about it.

What if you did rat tail for a game?

That would be awesome.

That'd be intimidating.

Like, oh shit, it's a Lane Kippen rat tail game.

What, uh, when did you, when did you realize you were a visor guy?

Because they don't make visor guys are not like they're a different sect.

You can't, not everyone could be a visor guy.

When did you, when you were officially like, yeah, you know what?

I am a visor guy.

Well,

when I grew up, I always, I was always like, and this may make a little more sense now.

I was like, I want to be Steve Spurrier.

Okay.

Like when I watched him and his offenses and the visor and kind of the way he would throw jabs at other coaches and teams and stuff, I was like, Steve Spurrier is the man.

Like, that's what I want to be.

So that's where I started the visor thing.

And probably started some of the comments maybe of other

programs too.

Yes.

Yeah.

But I thought it was awesome because I thought the players loved it.

They're like, we want to go play for Steve Spurrier.

Like, he's got our back, you know?

So that's really what steered me also away from Coach Speak, too, was just watching Coach Spurrier.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You talked earlier about Nick Sabin and your time that you spent with him at Alabama.

Have you thought about doing a similar thing at Ole Miss?

Like if a guy gets fired or a guy loses a job, whether it be college or NFL, have you thought about incorporating some of what Nick did for you for other coaches that might need to get back on the right path?

Oh, definitely.

We've done that now a couple years here and had some coaches that, you know, maybe we're going to take a year off, still on contract somewhere, and they came here.

And

we've had that happen a lot.

Shoot, Joe Judge came here after the Giants, and now he's our quarterback coach, you know.

His son goes here.

So we've got some good stories like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how often do you check the portal as a head coach?

Like, do you do you do that like all the time?

Well, it's not open now.

Yeah, but you never know.

If you refresh, like, maybe one sneaks through.

Yeah, what if they accidentally opened it for like a day and you missed it?

Yeah, we have people on that.

Okay.

So in the morning, when it's open, in the morning, like the stock market, you know, like you get the update like every morning.

All right.

Here's these 16 people that went in.

You know, there's these two quarterbacks.

You need to go watch these guys.

You know, like, so, yeah, we get those updates a lot.

When you're flipping a recruit, and I think you just flipped one one a couple days ago, right?

Cornerback?

Can't comment on that.

Okay.

Okay, because that's Oach Speak.

Okay.

Allegedly, if you were to be flipping a cornerback, like, how do you try to close that deal?

How much of it is pro-Olemis versus anti, let's say, hypothetically, a school that starts with the letter M?

Hmm.

Yeah, okay.

Hypothetically.

A school that.

Oh, Keep Speed in Ohio State.

Yep, yep, yeah, maybe.

Yeah.

So I would not talk about that school.

I would not negatively recruit at all.

Not one bit.

Because we get negative recruit a lot.

And so I always tell them, like, hey, shouldn't it be a red flag?

If the school doesn't have enough to talk about themselves, that they need to negative talk us, it should be a red flag to you.

So I don't do anything, no matter where you're committed, any of that.

And I just sell our program.

And

a lot of times they come to the town, town, they see the energy,

they see the style that we play in.

And then our players sell it a lot, you know, and they talk to our players and they realize, okay, you just don't win here.

You have a lot of fun doing it.

And the coaches and players are really, really close here.

I think that's what does it.

That's smart.

That's really smart.

All right.

I got one last question for you, Coach.

It's always great having you on.

We love having you on and being a recurring guest.

So, Roback Question: R-H-O, B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE.

20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, Polos, hoodies, joggers, joggers, shorts, rowback.com, promo code take.

You posted after the game the uh quote from Brian Kelly during the week.

Do you have a guy specifically that is just looking for bulletin board material for you, or are you actually seeing it and being like, Okay, huh, I'll think about that.

I'll put that, I'll file that away.

No, we get, I get like on my desk, like

it just happens to be from last week, like

Tuesday, opponent news,

and then there's all like

press conferences, player interviews, things they said, and stuff.

Like,

and so that was

right there.

Yeah, that was, and it actually made our bulletin board like on our screens during the week, like, you know, just to try to motivate guys when, you know, the other coach says, oh, we're going to keep this trophy here.

We're looking forward to it.

So, you know, I put it on the big screens for everybody to see.

I'd like to offer to you: if you ever are in a week where the other, the opposing team doesn't really give you any bulletin board material, you can text me and we will give you bulletin board material.

We'll trash you guys.

Yes, planted bulletin board material.

Yeah, just to be like, you know, talk up the opponent a little bit.

Also, I wanted to say thank you for apologizing after the Kentucky game.

Do you get in any trouble for that?

No.

Okay.

Well, I appreciate the apology because I did back you guys and I appreciated that a lot.

Yeah.

I just

look at things differently too.

And then I feel like really bad on a serious note.

Like when we perform bad and I feel like, man, I didn't coach or manage a situation or something, I'm like, that's a lot of people you're affecting.

Yeah.

A lot of people's like day, week, all the fans that drove all the way here to see and everything.

So I get really down on myself out of that.

So I apologize.

Yeah.

You know, like,

you know, I should have done better today.

And so, um,

and then I spend all offseason trying to revenge that in my head of those games to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Yeah.

We had two, I've already had two opponents, Kentucky and LSU, that we screwed up last year.

We were ahead of both those games, like the whole game.

Should have have totally won both those games and screwed it up and didn't.

So it was nice to be able.

There's a lot of excitement to be able to play them the next year and be able to come out on the other side for your fans.

Yeah.

My last question.

Do you allow yourself to think about what the ceiling for this team is?

Like, have you thought about what

the ultimate goal is?

Like, do you even say that?

Or are you like, we got to win the next game?

Yeah, I don't say any of that.

There's too many variables on that.

And,

you know, people decide who go to the playoffs and all those things and and and referees and all that i i stay in the week in the opponent you know get to one and oh only during the bye week do we look ahead to try to like work on opponents and stuff but everything is about um what we can control which is practicing and trying to play really well yeah well coach Really, really appreciate you giving us time.

Best of luck rest of the season.

We'll do this again.

And yeah, make sure that Juice, you know, maybe stays off Twitter for a little bit.

Maybe ban him for a little bit.

Okay.

All right, guys.

Have an awesome week.

Thanks for having me.

All right.

You look great.

You look awesome.

You look hot.

Really hot.

So hot.

Thank you.

All right.

Bye, Daddy.

Lane Kiffin was brought to you by Campbells, where the Chunky Mantry is a place where one can do and or get everything they crave from one spot.

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And now, speaking of Chunky, here's Brandon Walker.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest because he complains all the time about not being on the show by himself.

Never have.

That's not true.

Maybe a couple times.

Continue the intro, please.

He is our college football expert for at least...

A few more months.

That is an earned title, sir.

For at least a few more months.

He's also the winner of Dingers-only.

It is the one, the only Brandon F.

Walker.

Two-time Dingers-only champion.

Two-time Dingers-only chip.

You know, ball.

Congratulations.

We should also say congratulations to Stephen Che, who lost Dingers-only.

He's going to be pitching.

And to Zach, who came in second place, which means he'll be catching.

Yes.

Quite a combo.

Dingers-only, to my knowledge,

the only competition in this entire company where the winner gets nothing.

Zero?

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing.

You're the ding king.

I'm the ding king.

You're the ding king.

So

I didn't want when Big Cat floated this idea to me, I initially told him no because it sounded too mean.

This is a good thing.

But

we'd like to welcome in Ben Mintz.

Oh, yes.

Come on, Mincey.

Yeah, well, we know he's not here on a Monday.

That's a fair point.

Listen, he's got weekend preview stuff to do.

Yeah, last weekend.

All right, Brandon, we are five weeks into the college football season.

We are.

Oh, Penn State.

Yeah, we are.

You start there.

Penn State.

Let's start with the Penn State discussion because we had a great Saturday.

There were some awesome games.

You, unfortunately, have gotten a lot of things wrong, which we'll address all of them.

I've gotten a lot of things right.

Clemson?

I got that wrong.

Alabama?

What did I say about them?

Dead.

You had a preseason top 10.

You had a funeral for Alabama.

Yeah.

You buried him.

That was more T-bop than me.

No.

Penn State?

Penn State's not wrong yet.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, but let's talk about Penn State.

Penn State's fascinating, right?

Let's talk about Penn State because Penn State is in a weird spot where they are a very good team every single year, and James Franklin cannot win the big one.

He's like 0- or like 2-700 against the big one.

And Penn State fans, it feels like a tipping point where they're like, hey, we want something new.

Obviously,

there's a lot of scary moments out there that you can look at being like, hey, you don't really want to change because you could have a situation like Nebraska where you just kind of

fall off a cliff.

Yeah.

A Michigan before Harbaugh got there.

Sure.

When they went from Lloyd Carr and then they went Rich Rod and then Brady Hoke and Tennessee's been through it.

Tennessee's been through.

Florida's going through it.

Florida's going through it.

Not everyone can do the Mark Rick to Kirby Smart train.

Right.

Where do you think Penn State should go from here?

I think Penn State is absolutely

should stay on the same course.

Nothing has fallen off.

They haven't bottomed out.

They haven't done anything wrong yet.

I think Penn State is the most, everybody in college football is chasing their next opponent, and they're trying to beat their next opponent and beat their schedule.

Penn State is the number one team that's fighting a narrative right now.

That is their biggest opponent.

It is not Ohio State coming up a couple weeks.

It is the narrative that not only James Franklin, but Drew Aller can't do it.

Penn State can't do it.

James Franklin can't do it.

None of them can do it.

And I think it is fascinating because if you look on the surface, the other night would have been a huge win for Penn State.

It would have gotten the monkey off their back.

Instead, it just made the monkey much bigger, like a gorilla now.

It's bigger than it has ever been and maybe ever will be.

But at the end of the day, they lost to the number two team in double overtime.

Well, they weren't the number two team at the time.

They're number two now, but they lost to a very good team, a playoff team, in double overtime.

The way the schedule is set up, Penn State's still going to the playoff.

Like everything about the first three quarters told me James Franklin can't do it, Drew Aller can't do it.

And then the fourth quarter happened, right?

So they're in this weird spot where the narrative about them is correct, correct, but they also lost in double overtime after fighting back.

So the narrative was correct for three quarters.

Yeah, it was correct.

But

exactly the same game that we've watched a million times.

They also showed some fight.

That was my question.

Did Penn State on Saturday?

Are we looking at this wrong?

Did Penn State actually break through on Saturday?

So we don't even realize it.

Because, follow me, Max is looking at me like I'm crazy.

The first three quarters was the exact same Penn State game we've watched every single time, no matter what, where it's just, like, and I actually, there was a moment in that game, 17 to 10, when Penn State had it on goal line.

And I was like, here comes the Penn State.

Member of the game against Ohio State last year.

They had first and goal, and they could not get in.

I was like, here it comes.

This is going to be the Penn State.

They can't get it in.

They ran a great play.

I think it was some motion running back out.

It was like a

shovel pass, yeah.

Like something a little bit different.

Score, go to overtime.

They might have broken through a little bit.

Like, they didn't lose the exact same way.

They lost in a big game, but they actually had some life and played some offense that we have not seen out of Penn State in these games in the past.

So they didn't break through, but I think they played well enough in the fourth quarter to convince themselves that they can break through.

Okay, so you still think they can break through?

I think they can break through.

I thought it the other night.

Again, they lost in double overtime.

The defense is elite.

The running backs need to be better.

The offensive line needs to be better.

And Drew Aller needs to be better.

They went out and invested all this money in receivers.

Well, where the hell are they?

In the fourth quarter, they found all these guys.

What took you three quarters, I think, I don't know if it's a wide out, or I don't know if they're scared of the narrative or if they're convinced the narrative is correct.

It took them three quarters and them seeing their own blood and realizing that they were about to die, that they finally got up and started to fight.

I think that convinced them that the next time, these two teams play next week.

It's a pick'em game.

I would take Oregon.

That's fine.

You can do that.

But like, Penn State is right there.

This isn't a team that gets outclassed when they play these big teams.

It's It's a team that just doesn't do the things to win.

There are teams that get to this point.

Indiana is a great example last year of a team that won 11 games, but both times they were on the field with an elite team.

You saw the difference.

You don't see the difference with Penn State.

They just haven't won them.

They just haven't

broken through.

James Franklin disagrees with the fact that there's a narrative out there.

He says, if I look at the entire picture, I get the narrative, and it's not.

narrative.

It's factual.

It's the facts.

I get it.

So he knows the narrative is out there, but the narrative isn't a narrative because it's actual facts.

It's not.

What's the difference in filmmaking?

A narrative or a documentary?

So what he just said was, I know what they're saying about me, and what they're saying about me isn't true.

It's true.

It's true.

That's what he just said.

It's more true.

It's even more true than we had ever thought.

Right.

Or imagined.

You guys are treating it as rumor.

It is stone-cold facts.

Yeah, it is.

You look at the numbers and it is true.

I cannot win the big one.

The thing I don't like is that he said he didn't think about going for the risk and going for two to win the game.

I think they should have.

He didn't consider it.

In regulation or

in regulation.

He should have at least considered it to say that.

Consider it fine, but he had all the momentum in the world.

And then they took a 24-17 lead in the overtime.

Like, I think he played it correctly at that point, and they got Oregon down to a fourth and three, a fourth and four.

It's at that point, if I've got my defense and 111,000 people behind me, yeah, I'm taking my chances with that.

I think he played it correctly.

It just, Oregon fought through it.

Also, go ahead.

I was going to say, if we look at the recent history, Ohio State had a loss a lot like this last year, right?

And they bounced back from it and they just went on a fuck U-tour.

Yeah.

I don't know that we can say with any sort of conviction that Penn State can do so because we've never seen them do that before.

The only difference is Penn State's problem is they can't beat the best teams.

Ohio State's problem is they can't beat Michigan.

Michigan wasn't in the playoffs.

Right.

So it didn't matter.

Like, it's like, oh, we lost to Michigan.

Well, guess what?

We don't have to play him again.

Ohio State can beat the top teams.

They just couldn't can't beat Michigan as of late.

Yeah, Ohio State woke up that Sunday and looked in front of them and said, we have a playoff now.

We're not going to have to play the team that just beat us.

For Penn State to get to where they need to go, they need to go through the teams blocking them.

They have a lot of Michigans.

They have a lot of top five.

Ohio states in Michigan, and Oregon is now in Michigan.

Oregon's a Michigan.

But again, I would like to say that.

Boise State's a Michigan.

Wait, I like Boise State State State State State.

Wait, wait, wait.

Boise State?

Was that a big one?

No, that's last year.

It wasn't.

It's not fair that it wasn't, but it wasn't.

They were handed an easy road in the playoffs and they took advantage of it.

And then Notre Dame was the first one that was like, you can prove it here.

And then

they had Notre Dame and just in the fourth quarter

melted down again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We should say, by the way, because the game, obviously, the narrative is the narrative.

And James Franklin pointed out the narrative.

Dante Moore is really fucking good.

Really good.

And Dan Lanning is an awesome coach.

He is an awesome coach, but I just want to point this one thing out.

They had this gigantic win in October last year when they beat Ohio State 31-30 and they propelled themselves to number one.

And And when those two teams met in the playoffs, one was ready and one was not.

No, they got stopped in the playoffs.

So

I'm just saying now his narrative needs to become do this shit in the playoffs.

Well, he's also early in his narrative.

He is.

He is.

Only what, three, four years?

But a couple years ago, they had multiple chances to beat Washington and

they dropped the ball, especially late in the season.

That was basically a playoff game to get in the playoffs.

And he loses that one.

So, like, he can do it now.

Make sure we do it down the road.

He could be.

I'm sure

at some point he will, but right now.

I think it helps James Franklin's case that the game was over.

Dan Lanning called game.

He said game over.

Yeah.

The throat slash on him.

And then from that point on, that's when Penn State woke up.

So it's like almost like Penn State was one-on-one on the afternoon.

I'm not going to sit here and piss on your leg and tell you it's raining.

I'm not going to tell you.

Thank you.

I'm not going to tell you that Penn State

do have bladder problems.

I'm not going to tell you that Penn State is this elite of the elite team and they've proven anything, but I do think Fighting Back says a lot about him.

I agree.

When was the last time you got your prostate checked?

Oh, man.

Because you do have bladder problems.

I don't have bladder problems.

I pee a lot.

Brandon is.

I'm a big man.

He's every sign of it.

You should have a big bladder.

Yeah.

So,

how many times a night are you going up?

Yeah, go ahead, Max.

I just have one question from the game.

Yeah, yeah.

Max was there.

I was there.

I'm not going to be the guy.

I'm not going to be a guy to blame the refs, but it is something to talk about.

The fumble, whatever it is.

Sounds like your thoughts from the fumble.

I blame the refs.

You're talking about the knee touching the blades of grass replay.

I watched it 100 times.

I still don't know if he was down or not.

Grazed.

So how do you overturn the game?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

You're a big grazing guy.

What do you think?

That was mean what he just did, but you have to answer the question.

He's short.

Okay.

Sorry.

All right, so that's that game.

Oregon is really fucking good.

I was so impressed with Dante Moore because that was his first real road start

in this type of environment.

You know, they obviously played Northwestern.

That doesn't really count.

It felt, you know, as an Oregon duck, because obviously he played a couple years ago, but I was very impressed with Dante Moore.

I think he's a bona fide dude.

He was impressive, and I'll tell you who else was impressive: the bodies they have on defense.

Yes.

Like, the big thing about coming to this conference and going east and playing these big, established teams that are going to run the football and play defense is physically, you wouldn't expect a West Coast team to be ahead of the game.

Physically, Oregon is just beautiful looking on defense.

They've got these big, huge defensive linemen that can all run.

The linebackers, like, they look like Ohio State looks on defense.

Yeah, and it's actually another game that happened on Saturday, USC, Illinois.

The whole narrative going to that game was USA finally beefed them up.

Illinois kind of, I know it was a very close game, but Illinois kind of like manhandled them at points in that game.

Illinois kept them in the game, too.

Yeah, they did.

Illinois should have won that game by multiple touchdowns.

Great bounce back by Brett Bielema and that team.

He's an awesome coach.

He's an awesome coach.

You didn't expect them to be crappy two weeks in a row.

And then for USC, that's another, that's a narrative enforcing thing.

We can't go east and win these games, and they can't.

I like this.

We're doing narratives.

All right.

Here's the other narrative that happened on Saturday night.

Yeah.

Kirby Smarts got an Alabama problem.

I have no idea how either.

So a couple of things.

One, that game, it was a great game.

They played great games.

I think it was the first time that Georgia lost at home.

How long had it been?

2019.

2019.

South Carolina.

Will Musk champ.

Wet.

Wettest coach we've got.

Yeah.

He was always wet.

You agree he was always wet.

I'm not sure that I remember him always being wet, but yeah.

We brought that up in Debo.

In my mind, he's wet.

He's the dampest coach that's ever existed.

There's a lot of damp coaches.

What about Sean Miller?

I guess that's a wet.

Basketball, yeah, basketball.

Everyone's wet in here.

Yeah, yeah, that's that's totally different.

I think Carol is a wet coach, too.

He's a little wet.

He's always wet.

Yeah, he's got spits.

But he's a cool wet.

Yeah, he's not a sloppy wet.

He's like slick back.

Yeah, slick wet.

Yeah, yeah.

Matt Riley's wet.

Yeah, Will Musk Champ is a wet, like, oh, shit, I forgot my umbrella.

I got caught in the rain.

It's the bust stop.

Like, there's not enough towels.

There's not enough towels in this room to cover me.

Did you, were you just swimming in the ocean?

Why are you so wet?

Kirby Smart, though, I actually do think he's got a little bit of the Ryan Day, Michigan issue where it's like, I don't know what happens, but in these games, they can beat everyone else.

They can't beat Alabama.

I thought, like, I'm used to Kirby Smart making the necessary adjustments, and maybe I shouldn't have been used to it because of what happened in the Tennessee game where even though they won that game, Hypo finally broke through in the fact that his offense sustained four quarters against Kirby Smart.

I don't understand what Kirby Smart was doing when they're down 24-21 and he doesn't kick a field goal.

And then they're down 24-21 midfield with three minutes left and he punts.

And I know it was a long day.

It was like, you know, fourth and 10 or something, but still, they never got the ball back.

It felt like his brain kind of froze up in those two critical moments.

He changes everything about himself when he plays Alabama.

A, his offensive coordinator kind of stinks.

Bobo is just not aggressive.

It's a tough name to be a bad offensive coordinator.

When you talk about Kirby Smart, I talk about like a coach who's got a killer instinct.

When When he's playing these teams, he's better than.

He's out there, he's grabbing players' helmets, he's yelling at them, he's fiery.

And the players go out there and they play with their hair on fire.

Against Alabama, the guy comes to the sideline, makes a mistake.

He just grabs him by the little face mask and talks to him very gently, pats him on the butt.

Like, he changes his demeanor, he changes everything, and I think it goes to his team.

Remember that fourth quarter drop that Georgia had?

Wide open touchdown, guy drops it.

Then on fourth and one,

they don't go for the field goal.

Their play call is a toss to a third-string white running back.

Pass on that, no.

Then at fourth and one, you've got a defensive back coming in and diving onto the pile, and one of the more stupid things you will ever see.

And so dumb.

Alabama went 12 and 18 on third down.

That is a lack of a killer instinct from a Georgia defense that absolutely destroys and throttles everybody else when they have the chance.

I have no idea why Georgia is going backwards when it comes to Alabama.

They beat him in the national title game, and that's the only time they beat him since Kirby's been there.

I have no idea how you beat him in that situation.

And then after that, you go back to your old ways.

First of all, I don't like the racial overtones there.

This is the school that had.

I'm just telling you right now, if I'm Georgia, I'm not throwing, I'm not tossing to a white running back on third down.

This is the school of

Lad McConkey's,

Brock Bowers's.

That's a tight end.

Yeah, but

you can make a fourth and one work with a white guy.

Mike Allstott.

This guy's not Mike Allstott.

It was a toss.

I know he was awesome.

He's a very skinny guy.

But yeah, you make a good point.

The drop pass, it's a different game entirely.

Yep.

That was a touchdown pass.

And like Dan said, you're down 24-21.

I know you want to be aggressive, and I know you want to make a statement.

Tie the game.

Tie the game.

Not only tie the game.

Tie the game because your defense actually did figure it out in the second half.

You did it.

Alabama score point.

Yeah.

You didn't score a point.

I came away from this game not thinking that Kirby Smart continues to be an Alabama problem for him.

I came away from this game saying Alabama played a hell of a game.

Their quarterback, I feel like we watched their quarterback become a man.

Ty Simpson.

Our very eyes.

Ty Simpson had a great game.

He plays on third down as well.

Oh, my God.

The third down.

That was the most shocking thing because Kirby Smart, Georgia defense should not be giving up those plays.

Yeah.

I also came away from this game thinking, like, I did not expect Georgia to blow him out ever.

I thought that Alabama was going to compete because this is the exact game.

If you put on the Alabama uniform, you can run into trouble if you're playing against Vanderbilt and you've got a bad coach.

You can run into trouble if you're playing an inferior opponent and you've got a coach that might not be the guy long term.

But if you're playing against Georgia, I think everybody on Alabama is going to get up for that game.

I don't think that you're going to run into an effort problem.

Not Vandi anymore.

So that actually will be the test, I think.

I think if Alabama can beat Vandi like they step on their neck,

should beat Vandi, even though Vandi is the best Vandi it's probably ever been,

that would be like, hey, Alabama's, you know, everything's fine.

Because I've looked back at week one, and I'm,

I don't want to say, obviously Florida State, but like looking back at it, it's like that was a full season, full offseason for Gus Malzon to get prepared.

He is an Alabama beater.

Do we maybe Did we maybe overreact?

Myself included.

I don't think we did overreact because at that point, you had a Kalen DeBoard that went 9-4 in his first year with a playoff roster.

He lost to the worst Oklahoma team in a decade.

He lost to Vanderbilt.

He lost games he shouldn't have lost.

He lost to Michigan in the ball game.

And his first effort in a year where he needs to go forward really quickly, his first effort was a 31-17 loss to a team that went 2-10 last year.

And frankly, a team that lost to Virginia the other night.

So I'm not sold that Florida State is great.

I don't think we overreacted.

I think that game might be a sign that the top of the SEC has come down to earth.

If you look at Georgia and Tennessee, they were very even.

Alabama and Georgia, very even.

Alabama goes out against Florida State and gets beat.

I think the SEC is very deep, but at the top, Alabama is nowhere near what they were.

Georgia is nowhere near what they were.

Texas, the jury is still out.

But I think the top of the SEC has really regressed and come down to everybody else.

Maybe Olemis.

I don't think so.

If we want to talk narratives, that's a game that Lane Kiffen always loses.

Ole Mess is a good football team.

They're ranked number four.

I think that's preposterous that they're number four.

And I think even Ole Miss fans, rational ones, would agree.

They beat an LSU team who got a lot of credit for beating Clemson.

LSU hasn't been good since the Clemson game.

I wouldn't say Clemson was national title worthy.

In the offseason, I was totally wrong about that.

I and a lot of people whiffed on Clemson.

I thought Cade Clemnick was going to be good.

Whatever.

Clemson's trash.

They're not good this year.

And LSU just was not very good.

If Ole Miss has some games in the second half of this schedule, if they're the number four team, if they're as good as they look, they're going to have to go to Oklahoma and win.

They're going to have to go to Georgia and compete.

There's a lot going forward.

I don't know that there's an elite, I'll just say this.

I think there's three teams in the Big Ten better than any team in the SEC right now.

I think it's Penn State, Oregon, Ohio State.

I'd agree with that.

And I think the SEC, as far as the top end elite playoff contenders, is down a step from where it was.

I'd agree with you.

You would put Penn State in over anybody from the SEC.

I absolutely would.

Alabama, Georgia,

Ole Miss, LSU, Texas.

We've seen Alabama on the road twice.

They won a three-point game at Georgia.

They lost by two touchdowns at Florida State.

We've seen Georgia on the road.

They came back and beat Tennessee, and they come home and they lose to an Alabama team that is probably fine, but I don't think they're great.

It's weird because the top of the SEC feels like it has a lot of parody in it.

SEC is remarkably deep.

Yeah.

I think team one to team like 10 has potential to be good.

Yeah.

What about like Oklahoma's number five?

Olemis is number four.

I don't think Oklahoma is the fifth best team in the country.

I I just don't.

They beat an Auburn team that the refs handed them the victory, and they beat a Michigan team who had a freshman quarterback and wasn't even interested in winning that game.

Yeah, do they take account injuries into the top 25?

Well, I guess it's a bunch of different voters.

The AP top 25 is one of the bigger disasters we've ever had.

We got to fix that, right?

I actually do.

I don't think we got to fix that.

Do you like that it's bad?

It's good for conversation.

That's exactly what it's made for.

What is a list created for?

A list is created for people to get upset about.

To stir up.

So if it was a perfect grouping of AP voters who always nailed it, it would be the most boring thing ever.

We need bias.

We need stupid people.

We need that woman who's like, I'm not sharing my data and my formula.

We need all of that because when you put a list on the internet, you get you're the king of lists.

You know, people go crazy for them.

No, I like that it stirs up debate.

And I am the king of being able to dispassionately just put out a list and step back and not get mad when somebody else makes a list.

I looked at the AP top 25 yesterday and almost made a video.

I'm like, what the fuck are these people?

So the list is working.

It's working.

They did the list on you.

So what's the Brandon Walker top five?

So I got Ohio State number one.

I think they're a clear number one right now.

I have Oregon number two.

I put it out last night.

Miami three.

I don't know who I have four.

Somebody that, oh, I got Alabama four because I just put them there and said, if they're going to go to Athens and win, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt for a minute, even though I do still kind of have some doubts.

And then number five, I believe I had.

Not a dame.

No, I don't have Notre Dame.

Oh, Texas.

I got Texas.

But we don't know.

We don't know.

There's so much we don't know still.

But Texas, we're just kind of waiting on because they had the one game to start.

They looked bad, and now they've just been nursing themselves back to life.

Brett, also, congratulations on a big loss for you on Saturday.

That was the best loss of the weekend.

You said that with a very condescending tone.

Is that

factor fiction?

I don't like that, Brady.

Factor fiction.

I'm going to defend you, Brayden.

Missippe State, Tennessee, overtime,

that was the biggest loss of the week.

No.

No.

I mean, like the best.

You know, as a Commanders fan, and I've seen you go emotionally through these things where you rationalize losses to yourself over the last few years.

So for you to come at me like this is crazy.

What you got to do is you got to wait for next week, and then obviously Tennessee loses next week, and you're like, see, we beat them up too bad.

That was one of the better losses in recent memory for us.

Yes.

A year ago, at this exact week, we were non-competitive in a 41-14 loss to Toledo.

Toledo is a fine MAC team, but they are a MAC team.

We shouldn't be non-competitive in a loss to them.

Flash forward a year where 4-0,

I thought Tennessee was going to kill us.

If you looked at the rosters, if you looked at the lines of scrimmage, Tennessee was towering over us, and we just took it to them.

Fluff Bothwell can run it.

He's the biggest.

Booth can run it.

We ran it down their throat for four quarters, and we had them.

We had them down seven with two minutes left.

They had fourth and five.

They ended up making the play.

They beat us.

They're a legit top 10 to 12 team.

I am very happy with where we are.

So, Joe, your condescension was right.

It was a great loss.

Right.

You like the words.

You don't like the tone.

I didn't like the tone.

But congratulations.

Because I was.

But you can't say that's where we go.

Well, you were

happy with the loss.

You were happy.

You were okay with the loss.

I'm not okay with the loss.

I wasn't happy with the loss, but I'm able to look at the loss in the context of where we were and where we are is way better.

I think

you got to change that about you if you want to.

But it's steps, right?

It's steps.

We're climbing a ladder.

Yeah.

You're still, you're happy with the loss.

But you can't let them congratulate you.

You can't go from flat-footed to being on top of a ladder.

You have to climb.

What if you just flip the switch?

There's no switch to ladders.

No, but

there's the ladders you can just stand on.

They just take you up.

That's an elevator.

Yeah.

Or a forklift.

Yeah.

We don't have a forklift in the SEC.

Okay, but what about maybe get an elevator?

There's not.

I don't even know how many elevators in Octavaha County, like six?

Well, you don't have hotels.

I don't know.

You tell us.

We have several hotels.

Several.

Oh, yeah.

Several.

They settled that.

At least seven or eight.

We stayed at a not-great hotel on Friday night.

That was a bad hotel.

That was a bad hotel.

Yeah.

You could tell right away.

My wife is the sweetest, most easy-going thing in the world.

She's like, this isn't great.

No.

And it was also like, I think you can tell, it was weird because I was like, maybe this hotel isn't that bad because they had a pantry closet that was stacked.

Yeah.

Like everything.

And a gym that looked good.

Gym that looked good, not a great hotel.

When you step onto the elevator and the elevator sinks a little bit.

Yep.

And it's only three floors.

Correct.

That's always a bad sign.

The elevator made noise every floor.

Three-floor elevator that takes about like 25 minutes to go one floor, not a great sign.

Brandon, I got a question for you about the Big Ten, about Indiana.

Look ahead.

Crystal Ball.

Are you respecting them?

Crystal Ball.

What happens after this weekend?

Are we still talking about Indiana like they're a team that should be feared?

So, what are the next three or four guys?

You got Indiana's schedule up in front of you?

Let's see what their next three or four.

So, Indiana kills Illinois, right?

And it's great.

It's fantastic.

They did something they didn't do last year.

They beat a ranked team.

So, after, obviously, Oregon, they got Michigan State, then UCLA, then Maryland, then Penn State.

Okay, so they're cruising for a while.

Maryland's Maryland's a little sneaky.

But listen.

They are.

There's nothing awe-inspiring about what Indiana did at Iowa on Saturday, but I guess you can kind of chalk that up because no visit to Iowa is ever pretty.

No, Iowa makes you play Iowa.

Yeah,

I heard a nasty rumor about Brandon Walker this weekend on Saturday.

I was

having a nice brunch with your co-host, Mark Titus.

Sure.

And they did the tradition where they waved to the kids.

Do you not like that tradition?

Oh, he hates it.

I do not hate that tradition.

Are you the only guy in the world?

Don't bring me on the number one sports podcast in the world and ask me this question.

This is crazy.

Well, when Tice told me that, I was like, that's insane that he hates it.

But then I tried to do that.

I do not hate that tradition

waving to sick kids is admirable, and it is a wonderful moment,

and I almost tear up.

I get the tingle, as Dan says, when I see it.

However...

My experience with the Iowa fan base in my life has been a nasty bunch of jackals that called my wife and tried to get her fired, that tried to get all my sponsors to drop me.

She deserved to be be fired?

No, because she was married to me, and I said, I can't believe.

I was wondering because there could be a chance.

2019.

Sometimes you get it right.

Like you took the wrong path, but you got it right.

Like maybe she was bad at her job.

She deserved to be fired.

2019, I said, I can't believe we lost this game to Iowa.

It's the slowest, whitest team in the Big 12.

That was me.

In the Big Ten.

And they absolutely came at me and tried to ruin me and everything.

And Iowa fans after a victory.

Iowa fans were nasty and terrible.

So what Iowa fans do now is they have this wonderful, incredible tradition where they wave.

And boy, do they make sure you know how great people they are for doing it so that's my stance on it when i when i heard that you were not a fan of the wave i tried to put i didn't say i wasn't a fan of the wave this is crazy he's he's got you in front of i i tried to put myself in your brain and i'm going to save you i'm going to save you i'm going to throw you a rope

you're not saving me no i'm going to sink myself i'm going to i'm trying to figure out how i'm going to sink myself because gracefully

when ruckers did the drone thing none of the kids in iowa could see it you're in new jersey correct yeah yeah

that was it and you know why ruckers did that yeah to make themselves feel good.

I know themselves.

It was a cool moment, but it's like,

no one could see it.

I know a lot of bad people in the Iowa fan base who try to make themselves feel good and look good because of their participation in the way.

It is

the kids.

It's a very nice thing.

I almost tear up every time I see it.

It's beautiful.

I thought your take was.

I thought your take was going to be, if you want to make those kids happy, score some points.

Yeah.

I could have gone that way.

Instead, I probably made it worse for myself.

Did you see the Rutgers one, PFT?

I did see that, yeah.

Did you initially, I hate that my brain initially went there, but I was like, you're in New Jersey.

You can't see that.

Seven or eight states away.

Listen, I always tear up when I see drones.

Also, it's a Friday night.

All those sick kids are probably in the bed.

I guess they could have shown them the video of it.

That's kind of cool.

Now that I'm thinking, now that I'm talking it out, they could have shown them.

I love aviation.

I think

the six-year-old kid who's fighting for his life is like, what is a Rutgers?

Yeah, probably, probably.

I think Indiana's good.

I think Indiana is a very, they look very solid so far.

My doubts about them last year were never about the team.

It was about the the fact that we just ignored the national media, everybody ignored the fact that.

That video was kid.

You got to stop with these videos.

He's a little kid.

They got that spot because of their schedule.

It's an amazing thing that they do.

Jesus Christ, Max.

Stop.

You're going to make me cry.

It's fucking incredible.

There's nothing I can do now for the rest of this interview.

What I love is that it's fucking incredible.

The players.

I'm going to cry right now.

I carried you to a trivia championship, man.

Thank you.

I carried you to a championship.

And you do this to me?

You've got me in some sort of panic room over here right now, Brandon.

I just

carried you to a championship.

I got you a ring.

I had a bad back.

Brandon.

My teammate's coach died.

Brandon.

Yeah.

Notre Dame.

I said to Notre Dame fans after week two, you're in the exact same spot that you were last year.

Yeah.

There's by exact same spot.

Northern Illinois, that loss was two losses.

It's a joke.

You can't lose another one after that.

They lost to two potentially, most likely college football teams, playoff teams in Texas A ⁇ M and Miami.

Close games, both of them.

I don't think A ⁇ M is a playoff team, but sure.

Maybe.

Sure.

The SEC is chaos.

The SEC kind of is the Big 12 this year.

Yeah.

Where it's just like, we don't know.

I think Notre Dame's going to go to the playoff.

I think they're going to.

C.J.

Carr is the real deal.

I did that rant trying to reel Notre Dame fans back in because a lot of them were like the season's over.

I think they're on the table.

I think they're going to go to the playoffs.

Two things here.

A, Notre Dame is absolutely going to the playoff.

Yeah.

Number two, they're not nearly as good a team as they were last year.

No, but they also are kind of figuring it out because Arkansas, I know that game got away, and what Notre Dame did offensively was incredible.

But the sneaky part is Arkansas's offense is really good.

Talon Green.

They shut him down.

Yeah, they shut him down.

They dominated Arkansas.

They absolutely killed him.

They're going to put it together over these next eight weeks as they have a schedule that nurses them back to health like they had last year.

But they have a good offense.

I love C.J.

Carr.

I love the running back.

I love the receiver.

Great house.

I love so much about Notre Dame, but at the end of the day, they're going to make the playoff, and that defense is going to hold them back.

Yeah.

But they're going to the playoffs.

Their season is like they're going to go 10-2, and they're going to the playoffs.

There was doom and gloom, and it was like,

this is just a Groundhogs Day of last year.

They also lost.

This is why when they were 0-2 and still ranked, I didn't have a problem with that one because they lost a one-point game on a missed extra point to Texas A ⁇ M with a bad call on the fourth and 11.

And they lost a three-point game on the road against Miami.

And I think Miami's very, very good.

So I have no problem with Notre Dame being ranked after they were 0-2.

And I have no problem saying right now they're going to go 10-2 and go to the playoffs.

When you're doing the official Brendan Walker rankings, do you rank them based on their resume, or do you rank them based on which team would beat other teams?

I base it on what I need to base it on in that moment.

For some teams, it's resume.

For some teams, it's just how I feel about them.

I like it.

And there's no insight into your algorithms.

You know what you got to say when people get mad about it?

Yeah.

You say, My rankings remain fluid.

That is what's what you're always fluid.

I'm not like walking there and going to my logic or my process.

Those are my rankings.

Like, Oklahoma, technically, right now, they have a win over Auburn.

They have a win over Michigan.

I don't think either of those teams are any good.

Oklahoma's number five in the country.

I think that's Poppycock.

I think they should be watching.

They should be like number 12.

I think Poppy, that's the first time Poppycock has ever been said on this show.

I've been trying to work Poppycock into the rotation a lot lately.

It didn't really land like you thought it did.

You went, oh,

because it's a ridiculous thing to say.

No, it landed.

Don't act like that didn't land.

Well, it was a hard P.

That landed.

It was a hard P.

Yeah.

Poppycock landed.

Is that what you say when you whip out your dick?

We actually in the middle of the night to take a leap?

No, no, no, no.

Damn, that's like.

You just sleep that.

You just bleep that.

I don't want that.

You were standing on the tarmac and I walked in and said, oh, wow, hey.

You're out of trouble there.

I don't want what word he just said to be out there.

You wave the plane in and then brought it to a stop.

And you're like, oh, you didn't land.

That's bullshit, what you just did.

There's nobody that stands on the runway that waves the plane in, you idiot.

There's somebody up in air traffic control that guides the men.

There's nobody on the runway.

They get run over by a plane.

They're on the tarmac then.

Excuse me.

No, they're not on the tarmac.

There's somebody out there doing this to play.

That's when the plane's taxiing.

After some.

So they've already landed, and then you taxi them in.

Yeah.

But that dan still taxiing them in and tell them to park, and then you do this.

I did that for two years, buddy.

I was on the tarmac.

That's poppycock.

That's hogwash.

That's hogwash.

We're working on hogwash and poppycock.

Talk to me about the you.

Yeah, I think they're real good.

They're another one that's like, we're going to find out a lot this weekend.

We are.

This is a very dangerous and scary spot for him.

Alabama already went there and lost.

And this is a team that everything's been going well so far.

Everything's going great.

But it's not a team historically who has weathered the highs and lows of a season or the slings and arrows of a season.

They can get tripped up.

I like them.

I like their defensive line.

I like Bain.

I like their weapons they put together offensively.

I love Carson Beck, but this is terrifying to go to a desperate Florida State team.

So I might be over-leveraged in the U in my futures.

I've got Carson Beck to win the Heisman Trophy.

And then I also took a flyer on Bain because it feels like there's nobody that's separated themselves just yet at the quarterback position.

No, quarterback's

kind of been running in mud this season so far.

It's not been very exciting.

A great defensive lineman put up some numbers, maybe?

Possibly.

I'd watch for a receiver or a running back to possibly break through, too.

Jeremiah Smith is lurking.

All the receivers and running backs are lurking.

If any running back can put up like a 230 or a 250, somebody's going to go far.

Speaking about Smith, the game against Washington this weekend, it felt like Ohio State was kind of stuck in mud.

They got stuck in a rock fight in the first half.

Yeah.

And then kind of, they were clearly the better physical team, and they just kind of wore Washington out.

Play with their food a little bit.

I think that was almost intentional.

Yeah.

Because it was Saiyan's first road start, and they're like, hey,

let's not.

Our defense, their defense is awesome.

It's lights out.

It's lights out.

Are they better than last year?

I can't say they're better than last year.

I could if you wanted to.

Look, I'll say it.

Ohio State's better this year than last year.

But do you believe it?

No, but I said it.

I can't make myself see it right now.

What did you say?

Hold on, let me

try.

This Ohio State team is better than last year.

Yeah, there you go.

That came out easy.

Undefeated against Michigan so far.

Okay, I could say it easily.

I don't think I could make myself believe it.

The team had two crazy hiccups where they lost the one-point game in Oregon and then did whatever they did against Michigan.

That middle thing got them.

But they got to play.

That was a historic.

We'll never see a run like that in the playoff again where they beat four teams like that by double digits or three teams, whatever it was.

Four teams, right?

Yeah.

I mean, they barely beat Texas and Texas might suck.

Texas this year?

This year, yeah.

I mean, I thought it was, again,

that was easing into the pool, though.

That offense, they were not, that offense they were running against Texas, they were just, they got the lead and they kind of just stayed in the back.

Yeah, I think you're going to see Ohio open up gradually and start to take off.

Like, you even saw it in that game.

Kasayan's ready to take the next step, I think.

Right, and you saw it in that game when they're like, oh, yeah, Jeremiah Smith, let's do the Jeremiah Smith play.

Yeah.

And they'll do that.

Yeah, we need to go and get six right here.

It's really good, too.

We go and get six.

Let's give it to Jeremiah.

When Smith got the ball, it's like, oh, that guy's just way faster than everybody else on the field.

They should do that more.

Yeah.

And they will.

Yeah,

I think they're easily the best team in the country right now.

I think their defense is outstanding, but I'm just not ready to say they're better than last year.

Do you buy Bryce Underwood?

I kind of do.

I buy stock for the future.

I don't buy him with Sherone Moore as his head coach.

Oh.

I think Sharon Moore is a very good head football coach.

Why?

And he's just,

you saw when we, to get Bryce running, they had to be coached by Biff.

Yeah, Biff.

Biff's the guy that said, hey, let's run him.

We got this guy who's a one-of-a-kind unicorn.

Why don't we use him?

And meanwhile, every time Sharon Moore is at the at the controls, he's a pocket passer.

That's absurd.

I agree.

And he's also

an 18-year-old kid or 18-year-old freshman.

His running game is going to be ahead of his passing game right now.

Why are you making him process defenses?

Let him use his athleticism.

Yeah, I agree with all that.

I'm buying stock in in him, though.

Oh, he's great.

He's going to be great.

The stock has to be through the roof, though.

Like, this is a five-star quarterback, number one quarterback in the country.

It took like a minor dip at the start of the year.

He's a Heisman trophy caliber quarterback in year two or three.

Yeah.

Can we talk openings?

Yeah, we can talk openings.

Can we talk about the Arkansas opening first?

Well, no, I was going to ask you what your favorite opening was.

I love.

Are you looking for some sort of bodily pun here?

I asked you a question.

Arkansas is my favorite opening right now because...

I was going to say vagina.

It was clearly engineered.

It was clearly engineered from you.

Bobby Petrino just pulled a coup.

Yeah, he did.

He fired all the defensive guys.

And nobody's talking about it.

Bobby Petrino, the guy who 10 years ago was in a neck brace with his face got asphalt all over it.

And he resigns in shame because he's been fucking somebody.

And then he goes off and tries and has to do a new career.

Two years ago, dumbass Sam Pittman says, hey, man, come on back to Arkansas.

Help me get this thing in the right direction.

And Bobby's like, oh, yes, sir.

Comes in and immediately starts making plans to take over.

I guarantee you, Bobby Petrino, if you asked him right now, are you the interim coach at Arkansas or are you the coach at Arkansas?

Yeah.

He's going to say, I'm the coach at Arkansas.

He fired three defensive assistants.

Remember, he was an assistant three days ago.

Yeah.

And he's immediately firing assistants.

What an asshole.

Entire defensive staff.

What a fucking asshole.

But we knew he was an asshole.

It's a very funny move that he pulled off.

And he pulled it off perfectly.

He had maybe the, if you were to draw up a guy in a lab that you could engineer a coup from under, it's probably Sam Pittman.

Yeah.

Sam Pittman is the most

oblivious to coups in the world.

Well, he also wanted to get fired.

Wasn't there a story that he basically went to them being like, hey, you want to just do this before the season started?

Like, you owe us a lot of money.

His agent was like, you owe me a lot of money.

You owe Sam Pittman a lot of money.

Let's just do this now.

Fired head coach in college football is the best job in the entire world.

Yep.

By the way, I would have said my favorite opening,

Kevin Spilling the Chili.

It's great.

Cold opening?

I like the Backstreet Boys song on Brooklyn 9-9.

Okay.

Where they do, I want want it that way.

I'm not familiar with that one.

It's a cold open.

Let's say hypothetically, Bobby Petrino is not going to stick around.

He's sticking around.

They'll have to pick him out.

He's already got

his claws in there.

There's a lot of money.

He's quite shrewd moving into Michael's office and painting the walls black already.

Yeah, there's a lot.

If they win a couple games, he's sticking around.

Yeah, and I assume they probably will.

They got the quarterback.

They got a decent roster.

Yeah.

Paints the walls milky white and sticky.

Viscous.

So let's say hypothetically he's not not the coach, though.

Yeah.

What are the guys that Arkansas is going to look at?

Because they got a ton of money.

The Walmart money, chicken money.

But they don't.

The Jerry Jones money.

Just saved a bunch of money on Micah Parsons.

I think Rhett Lashley,

SMU, went to the playoff last year.

He's an Arkansas guy.

Went to Arkansas.

I think he played at Arkansas.

Rhett Lashley is where it probably starts.

GJ Kinney from, I always get North Texas, Texas State confused.

He's from Texas State.

They're going to look at guys all over and that footprint and everything.

But Lashley is probably the number one guy.

And

they'll say John Gruden, and they'll say all these big names.

But I think Rhett Lashley is probably the one that got circled.

What about Florida?

John Sommerall, by the way, is another one.

Yeah.

Tulane to the SEC.

He's going from Tulane to the SEC, whether it's Kentucky, Arkansas, wherever it is.

He's definitely got an SEC job next year.

Florida's interesting, right?

Like, Florida, to me,

should be Lane Kiffen.

They should do everything in their power to get Lane Kiffen.

He's a national championship coach at a place that probably can't can't win a national title.

They're very good, and I'm not taking a shot at Ole Miss, but Florida is a place that can win a national title in the next three to five years.

But Lane hasn't shown the desire to really get out of there, so

he might be settled in.

I'd look at Drink at Missouri if I'm Florida.

I think Drink.

Lane's getting the credit for what he's done at Ole Miss.

Drink has done the exact same thing.

He went 11-2, beat Ohio State Football game a couple years ago.

He just missed the playoff last year.

I think they were 9-3.

I think they're a playoff team this year.

Drink at Florida could be a menace.

I know a lot of people say Jed Fish at Washington because he's got Florida ties.

I don't think he's won enough to do it.

No.

I would go Lane or Drink if I have

my wishes at Florida and I'm Scott Strickland in the AD.

I would start with Lane.

If he says no, which I think he probably will, and then I'd go to Drink.

Did you bury Dabo?

I haven't buried Dabo.

I have.

I don't know what I've done with Dabo.

I think that Dabbo.

Is trying to bury himself?

No.

Well, yeah, maybe.

But I saw that whole rant that he did where he's like, you guys are spoiled, all this stuff.

I don't know if he said spoiled.

I get it between Barry Alvarez and Brian Kelly.

Everyone's saying spoiled these days.

But pretty much like, we've won.

We suck this year.

We might go 6-6.

Would Dabo get a premiere job?

I don't think he would.

So

can I go backwards again?

He would.

And when I say premiere, I'm saying a top of like Florida.

Let's use Florida.

Let's use Florida.

I just said Drink.

I just said, Lane, if you're Florida and you fly into Greenville, South Carolina, and you have him meet you in the private plane, and you say, Dabo, I'm willing to give you this job if

you embrace the transfer portal, if you change what you're doing, if I know that you've got a national championship coach in you.

If you will meet these two things, transfer portal, NIL, and fully embrace it and unlock the potential of Florida, I think he would be an incredible fit at somewhere like Florida.

I don't think he would.

Because he has, he thrived in the last era of college football.

If he just tweaked his recipe to cook with the ingredients that modern college football has, I think he could be that coach again.

Why, if you're Florida, keep in mind, the last couple times they've put out a help-wanted sign at Florida, they haven't exactly been beating the door down to come coach at the University of Florida.

They got ULL's coach.

They got Mississippi State's coach one time.

They got Central Michigan's coach.

They got McIlwain.

They got Musk Champ.

Like, this isn't a job that people are beating down the door to get.

What if Dabbo, there's a little bit of,

you could say, like, analogies here with Belichick in the fact that Belichick, by all intents and purposes, wanted to, or by everything we've, we've read, wanted to stay in the NFL.

Yeah.

Was, went and did meetings, was like, it's my way or the highway.

This is how I'm doing it.

I've won the Super Bowls.

This is how I do it.

I'm not going to change.

I'm going to be the same guy.

Had to go to college football.

What about Dabo Sweeney coaching the Miami Dolphins?

That would be so fucking funny.

He would pass.

He would hate.

No.

I don't want that raw, raw shit in the NFL, man.

I don't want that raw shit.

But every college dude is like, no, dude, you won't do the transfer roll.

He's like, you know what?

I'm going to the fucking NFL.

You know, I know he's not modernizing his game, but he is the most college football guy in the history of 40.

I could never see him in the NFL.

But that would be awesome.

He's like a small-town warlord, and he controls everything.

And he's great when he does it.

But yeah, you go to the NFL.

He would retire before Nick Sabin retired at Miami.

If you're the Florida AD and you're sitting there, or even Arkansas AD or Oklahoma State AD, and you're sitting there talking to Dabbo, and you say, and Dabo convinces you.

He says, listen, I know why I went wrong at Clemson.

The game changed.

I didn't change with it.

I thought I could keep doing what I was doing.

At Florida,

I'm going to be Mr.

Transfer Portal.

I'm going to be Mr.

NIL.

Don't you give him a shot?

I mean, I actually think Oklahoma State should.

I just don't think he'll change.

I think that's like the perfect school for him.

But that's not a premier job.

Yeah.

But

him changing is contingent on him.

Him taking a job is contingent on him changing.

If he sits down with ADs and says, I'm not going to change, they're not going to hire him.

Well, I also think he might say he's going to change, but he's not going to change.

Well, then that's a different story entirely.

And I think that's a very good positive.

Why wouldn't he?

He's the biggest bullshit artist in the world.

You think he can't sit with somebody and convince them he's going to change?

I don't think he'd even say that, though.

I think he's so on record.

He's going to have to sit back and realize there's a reason this thing went wrong.

He's trying to recruit from high school and develop.

Well, the problem is if you recruit from high school and develop and the players don't turn into something, you're stuck with bad players.

You're stuck with disappointing players.

If you don't have a coaching staff that he used to have with Brent Venables that can develop the players, you better go out and get finished products right now, like Miami's doing, like Ole Miss is doing, and he won't do it.

Should LSU panic?

Yeah, LSU should panic.

LSU's got the wrong coach.

LSU's offense.

LSU's had the wrong coach the whole time.

No matter they beat Clemson and everybody put him up to the top five, including myself.

I'm like, wow, what an impressive road win.

Clemson's fallen apart.

They're one and three.

LSU hasn't looked good since.

Brian Kelly does not fit LSU football.

You did not see the very last run play of the game.

What very last.

By the way, at the end of that game,

I was in absolute hell.

That was three weeks ago.

I'm talking about the last run play when Brian Kelly.

Oh, when

he ran the ball pretty good, yeah.

I don't know, man.

I just think Brian Kelly doesn't fit.

And no matter what happens, if he wins the next six games, as soon as he loses the seventh, the fan base is going to turn on him again because they don't like him.

They pretend to like him when he's winning, when things are okay.

They don't like him.

And I don't think he likes them.

I don't think anyone likes him.

No, he's not a likable guy.

Oh, he's the most unlikable guy that there is.

And you guys know, you guys have been there.

Like, LSU thrives on who its coach is.

They thrive

on him being one of us or us rallying behind him.

And they don't like this motherfucker.

You can be a fucking idiot, and they'll love you.

Yeah.

Like Brett Miles, he won in spite of himself so much and they loved him.

Because they're going to take care of the recruiting.

Every five-star in Louisiana is raised to be an LSU tiger.

Every four-star is raised to to be an LSU Tiger.

As long as you don't actively fuck it up, you're going to be fine.

And I just don't think he is.

Yeah.

All right.

Good talk, Brandon.

I got a couple of questions.

Actually, have you...

This is.

I can't tell if you're ending the interview or not.

I'm continuing the interview.

I'm not.

I got a question,

kind of out of left field.

Have you looked at Washington State's schedule?

No, I know they play bizarrely at-home missing a couple of weeks.

It's like the most chaotic college football schedule that I've ever seen.

Can y'all just never ask me about Oregon State and Washington State?

Because Because it makes me sad.

Well, here's what

it makes me sad.

There's two places that should be okay in football and should be.

Some conference should have thrown them a life raft and said, come on over here.

We know that it went wrong for you guys, but come on over here.

I don't have 12.

I don't like them floating in the...

Yeah, but who knows?

They're going to link up.

It's weird.

I hope they're playing against Ole Miss.

They're going on the road to Mississippi.

They're playing at Virginia.

They play Oregon State twice.

Yeah.

They've got two games against Oregon State.

They should do it like

aggregate score.

Yeah.

Like in the EPL.

It's so weird that we're just marching on in college football without those two programs.

Those programs are just doing weird shit, like playing twice.

They exist.

They're technically playing college football, but they're not playing the same game as everybody else.

Isn't there going to be a new Pac-12 with the Mountain West?

It's coming.

It's coming.

But

once the toothpaste is out of the tube, how do you put it back in?

Oh, I agree.

It's fucked up.

And so many of these schools that they're playing against, I feel bad for their staff.

And they're going to be 10 years behind.

Nobody wants to go play at Washington State or Oregon State currently.

They're going to be 10 years behind everybody else.

All right.

I got one last question for you, Brandon, because it's kind of off of this conversation.

Roback question.

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We are in year two of the 12-team playoff.

I think it's working.

I think it's absolutely working.

I liked it, like, and I know there will be people like, there's a lot of things that have changed about college football.

I'm very nostalgic about college football 20 years ago.

Yeah.

Washington State, Oregon State being that.

I missed the Pac-12.

There's a lot of shit that's happened that I don't agree with.

There's probably more shit coming that is going to suck.

I like the fact that we saw Penn State and Oregon go at each other, and it's not the end of Penn State.

I like that Notre Dame is going to get another chance to be back in this thing.

I love a world where we see Penn State lose that game, and 10 years ago, that would have been crushing.

It would have been over.

And it's September 27th, and all the hope is sucked out of the building.

Well, now they don't have, I mean, they're kind of allergic to hope right now because every time they they get to a big game, but yeah, they're going to have a second chance to put this thing back together and get back in it.

Ohio State last year had one of the most embarrassing losses we've ever seen and then lost an incredible run through the playoff.

It was awesome.

I love the fact that these elite teams, really every team, has a chance to right the ship after something goes horribly wrong.

I think the playoff is great.

I think 16 is going to be the perfect number.

12 is okay.

But last year, the one thing we got to fix is last year we had a couple teams get in there just because of their schedule.

And if we can tweak that and figure that out down the road and truly get the 12 best teams at the end of the season, that'd be great.

I love the 12 teams.

The big complaint that I've seen is that it gives

Ohio season better, by the way.

Right, I do too.

I do too.

If you have these big weekends and you get into November where it's like a two-lost team playing a two-lost team, that game wouldn't have mattered at all.

Now it could be everything.

You get more games that feel like they matter going up leading up to the playoffs.

The one complaint that I understand is you will have the same four or five teams win the national championship every year because you give a team like Ohio State a second shot, a third shot last year.

But we had that anyway.

What's the difference?

We had that anyway.

It turns out the elite teams are going to win the championship.

Correct.

And that's how it's going to happen.

But now.

You're never going to get the parody that you have in the NFL and college football in the fact that there's never going to be a team that starts in the 50s and is like, oh, they won the title.

But that's just how it is.

That's how it's always been.

That's how it's always been.

It's how it's always going to be.

In November 2014, second or random year, it was the first year of the playoffs.

probably had six huge games.

In November of last year, probably 25.

Yeah.

And this year, it's more wide open.

I think we'll probably have 30 huge games.

And getting to the playoff is going to be, for a lot of these schools, like winning a national title.

Like, if Wisconsin ever gets to the playoffs, I'm going to be like, that was the coolest thing ever.

Yeah, I think Indiana, like last year, that's such a great story.

Indiana making the playoff.

Ole Miss is a good example.

They're number four.

And if Omiss makes the playoffs, it's a huge fucking thing for them.

It's okay.

There's more seats at the table.

There's more chances for everybody to come away happy.

And you whittle.

I'm glad.

Who was the best team in college football last year?

Ohio State.

I'm glad their season wasn't over when they lost a match.

But not as good as Ohio State this year.

Don't think so.

They were the best team.

They won the national title.

And if people want to bemoan that, sorry.

They were the best team.

They do just need to get more games at home stadiums.

The second round should also be.

You think it should go?

Yes.

It strips it so much when you play those, like, was it Boise and Penn State playing in Arizona?

Yeah,

yeah, but here's the thing.

Did we have any good games on campus last year?

No, right?

None of them were good.

No, that was the first round.

The first round is going to be tough.

Wasn't Boise at Boise?

No,

Boise was in the, they had to buy.

But Boise had to buy, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But that's,

I do think it should be two rounds at campus.

There's nothing, the one thing that college football has that will always beat the NFL is the home environment on a Saturday.

So the home games last year were SMU at Penn State, Clemson at Texas.

Yep.

Indiana at Notre Dame.

Yep.

Which was an incredible scene.

And Ohio State and Tennessee.

Ohio State and Tennessee.

And that was a cool scene, too.

That was a very cool scene.

None of the games were close.

None of the games were close, but they have, you know what I'm saying?

That's the specialness.

Like what the NFL is always going to be king, but what we saw at Happy Valley on Saturday night, in between the hedges, old miss, like you can't replicate those type of Saturdays.

Yeah.

And it's something special about on campus.

Oh, you're right.

More of that would be better.

And I think when we go to 16, you could even, you could have two rounds at home and still have whatever.

So who's in your, if the playoff were today, is that different from your top 12 list?

Yeah, that's a little different.

I don't know.

I think there's so much we don't know still.

Like, when I do a ranking and people are wondering, hey, why is Texas number five?

Who have they beaten?

They haven't beaten anybody.

They haven't beaten anybody.

But let's call a spade a spade here.

They had one game on the road against Ohio State, and then they had their four nobodies.

A lot of teams had their four nobodies to begin with.

They had their four nobodies, and now they start back really building up again.

I think Texas, the defensive talent on that team is crazy.

I think they've spent the last month of the season getting ready.

I'm just speculating on, you're still speculating on so many teams in the top 10.

Is now the time?

Are you still buying Texas Tech stock?

Oh, I think if you haven't bought it by now, you waited too late.

I think they're clearly the best team in the Big 12.

It's too late to buy that stock.

I think they are clearly the best team in the Big 12.

TCU, I would have given a chance.

Second best team is probably Arizona State, who lost to Mississippi State, but has won two in a row on the road at Baylor and then beating TCU at home.

But I think Texas Tech outclasses everybody in that conference by a mile.

Agreed.

And they got a tough one this week.

Listen, Houston's quietly

a good coach.

So Texas Tech's got a sneaky tough one, but I think the amount of talent they went out and bought, and you know, that used to be an insult and calling somebody a cheater, but now it's a badge of honor.

Yeah, good for them.

Good for them.

Congrats to to their alumni.

They went out and changed their paradigm, changed who they are, and now I think they're the easily best team in the Big 12.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

Brandon.

Brandon Walker.

So I just got through the whole interview.

Fournelly never came in?

Nobody came in.

Nobody came in.

Nope.

There was no surprise.

Now,

is there a Fournelli filter on my face?

No.

He is probably going to say tomorrow you would be correct.

What are you about to say?

Don't say it.

Just don't say it.

What if he just didn't say it?

What if you just didn't say that he turned this down?

He would be correct in saying that he turned it down and then you came on.

But it wasn't, it was kind of, it was fluid.

It was like your rankings.

It's fluid.

Let's be honest.

It's like water.

Let's be honest.

God's watching right now.

He had a busy schedule today.

We have a busy schedule.

We had the yak at noon.

We had this interview at 2 o'clock.

You asked me to do this at 11.45.

As you were just, you just walked out the door and said, hey, do PMT today.

I said, okay.

Fornelly really turned it down?

Well, he didn't turn it down.

He said, I said to him, hey, can you come on today?

And he said, I'm free between 12 and 2 and 3 and 6.

The only time we had was between 2 and 3.

So, you know what?

The best ability is available.

I won this.

I won this ability.

I won this last year.

I had a competition against him.

Who'd you have that won the championship last year?

I don't remember how I won it.

I just know I won it.

I don't think.

I had Ohio State.

Did you?

Almost certainly.

Almost certainly.

Almost certainly.

I don't know that you did.

I killed him in that playoff.

No, this is this year.

You're the FT year looking at this year.

Last year I had Ohio State and I won the championship.

That was your, that was your pick?

I won, didn't I?

You did win.

You did win.

I won, motherfucker.

As I won dingers only.

Yeah.

You win.

You're a winner.

Yeah.

PFT, didn't you?

Offer $1,000 cash to the winner of Dingers-only?

You did.

You're a great winner.

You're also the best loser.

How do you feel about your picks this year for this competition?

Yeah, so your picks.

I'm not even worried about it until.

You actually have some good value.

You have Penn State, Texas, Notre Dame, Ellis,

Oregon, late.

Oh, you're looking good.

He falls off a cliff.

Boise State, Baylor, Missouri.

Missouri's only.

He has AM and Texas Tech late, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Tom has Ohio State, Clemson, out, Georgia, Miami.

That's a good pick.

Alabama, Michigan, Utah, Texas AM, and Texas Tech with the last.

I mean, listen, it was a draft.

Once you get past like seven or eight, it's tough.

Well, it looks like he had AM at eight.

That's pretty good.

He also got Texas Tech at 13.

Watch a wow.

That's a great draft.

Great draft.

And I think we were giving you a stand.

I gave you Texas.

It says right there.

PFT put Brandon on Texas.

No, it doesn't say that.

It says also PFT's pick yeah i gave you texas so after i said texas you were like me too i said i'll put you on some games you said

texas might be good this year they were number two in the country no they're pretty number one i i told you about texas i appreciate that you said the team that made the playoff two years ago you said r2

but that might still be true yeah that is true how do you feel about about field storming are we still doing this yeah i have one last question were you were you concerned has field storming gone i'm a little concerned that that was the greatest field storming ever and it might lead to field storming being pulled back entirely did you see that one Twitter account SEC fan who they hypothetically win field storming too?

They're like, if this happened to the SEC, like everyone would have been dead.

We got fined hypothetically, they win those.

I love that.

Mr.

B.

State got fined $500,000 for

a field storm that was nowhere even close to that.

If they were in the SEC, they would get fined like $2 million.

Yeah.

Where did they get fined in the ACC?

I don't even know.

I haven't seen anything.

Virginia's never had this problem before.

No, no.

They're like, hey, you haven't been here.

We've got to let you go.

Good for you guys.

Yeah.

The protocol on that.

Yeah, they just sacrificed the Florida state receiver who disappeared into the crowd.

Yeah, Squirrel White.

Was that Squirrel White?

It was Squirrel White.

Well, yeah, he's been around long enough.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you, Brandon.

Yep.

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Okay, let's finish off.

We have guys on chicks.

Hank.

My fiancé has a work phone and his normal phone before he got his job.

He screenshots his bets with his work phone and checks the box score on his normal phone while he watches the games.

His hands are double-fisting iPhone like it's Bonnie Blue does dicks on Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays.

Is this behavior I have to expect throughout our marriage, even when kids come into play?

Thanks, boys.

Ghost Saints.

What are those two phones for again?

One is for the box score of the game.

The other is for the bets that he currently has in.

I think that's fair.

I also think that this is probably not written by a girl.

I was about to say, yeah.

Yeah.

Double-fisting iPhones like Bonnie Blues does.

I think it's written by a dude being like, I'm going to write to them pretend to be a chick and talk about dicks so that then they'll want to fuck me as a chick.

We need more chicks to write in.

Yeah, we need more chicks to write in.

I would say also

you don't really need the box score because if you use DraftKings, Wonderful DraftKings, it updates it as it goes.

Yeah, you can track it.

You can track it right there.

Also, I like writing my bets out.

It's fun.

It's nice to have on a piece of paper.

Yeah, just looking at it.

Or a whiteboard.

Or a whiteboard.

Yeah.

Which never hits.

What?

I mean, we never hit the whiteboard.

No, I don't think.

I don't actually.

Have we ever hit the whiteboard part?

No.

No.

You know what I was saying?

Actually, I think we did once.

We did hit one last year.

I think once.

Let's do one that we can hit.

Let's win one.

Yeah.

Okay.

Here's a theory.

The Super Bowl halftime show is solely a thing to make Super Bowl Sunday more peaceful for the boys.

It allows them to make a full day out of the Super Bowl as if it's a holiday because girls love love the halftime show so much.

Think about any other Sunday during the season, no halftime show, no pregnant Rihanna, and the girls are nowhere near as willing to allow absolutely nothing to happen besides watching football.

The Brazil game had a halftime show.

Shout out Mr.

Beast.

I also think the halftime show is irrelevant for that.

I think everyone watches the Super Bowl and makes a holiday out of it.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

Also, PFT,

you were correct in record time.

Sage Steel

looked through some bad bad bony.

Baboni?

And she found some demonic stuff.

Oh, did she?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, dude, you have to find satanic stuff in the halftime show.

That's that is actually the Super Bowl for schizophrenic people.

Yeah.

It is, that's what they live for.

Baboni.

Baboni.

My panics.

Babbon.

Josh Allen.

Mastafford.

Hey, PMT.

So I've gotten really into football the last couple of years.

Do you think my boyfriend is bothered by this?

Sometimes I feel like I'm invading his world and that guys don't actually like girls that like sports.

I think you guys love to mansplain sports to us.

Well, yes.

Duh.

Yeah, we love to mansplain everything.

We like sharing common interests as long as we can teach you something about that common interest.

As long as we feel like we have

our claims staked on it already.

A foundational piece of every relationship is

a man answering questions they don't actually know the answer to and a woman just being like, okay.

That's a foundational piece.

Like there there are many times where I just get asked a question and I'll give an answer because that's just my natural, I have to give an answer even if I have no idea.

I'm taking a wild guess and then just moving on.

Yeah.

If like if a girl said, Did you see that Jaden Daniels has the highest quarterback rating in NFL history for a second-year player

through this many games?

I would be like, that is so hot.

But then if a girl was like, let me explain to you the numbers that go into quarterback rating, I would feel so emasculated.

I would never want to look at it.

No.

Yeah, any of the nuance.

I'm getting that.

The most recent one I got from my oldest was he was like, why are sharpies called sharpies when they're not sharp?

And I was like, fuck, dude.

That one.

I almost just drove off the side of the road.

I was like, can't, can't answer that one.

But yeah.

Do they feel sharp in your ears, Max?

I always play with this Sharpie.

I don't know what that is.

I think, yeah, girls liking football is awesome.

Yeah, it's great.

You just got to let, like I said, you just got to let us answer some questions that we don't know the answer to and be okay with being like, yeah, that makes sense, even though it doesn't.

Yeah, like nothing, nothing makes a guy hotter than being like, Actually, you can't advance that fumble.

I know you're excited about it for a second, but that's coming back.

Yeah,

all right.

And last one, meme said, Read this one last if you want to have fun with it.

Oh, okay,

finish this off.

This is the question, yeah.

Do you guys think double penetration is gay?

I mean, technically, it is, right?

Love you guys.

Oh.

We're talking about B and V?

I think two D's.

Yeah, two D.

Oh, D and the V.

D in the V and a D and the A.

Yeah, D in the V, D and the A.

That's what I'm saying.

Or two D's in the V.

Oh.

Like you're starting a fire?

Oh.

Either one.

No two D's in the V.

That's a 1 D V.

There's not enough room.

There's some holes that are 1D.

Yeah.

This is also just like a a comment.

This is like if we started talking about

what it would be like to play in the NFL.

We're not guys that will ever be in the same stratosphere as any of this.

It's a whole different type of guy that is out there doing D and V and D and A at the same time.

Yeah.

That's, yeah.

I don't think I've ever found myself in a situation where I've...

come anywhere close to even thinking about that was going to happen.

And I would say, no thanks.

Yeah.

I'd be like,

maybe me and you could just do it.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll just go DNV and then you can just do whatever you want after.

Yeah.

There are a lot of dudes that do the DNA or DNM and DNV at the same time.

That also has never appeared.

No.

No.

Not even close.

Not even close.

This is just porn talk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Somebody woke up this morning and just wrote that in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Call me old-fashioned.

I like a little bit of intimacy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Get your girlfriends right in.

Send it to any girl, you know.

Too many guys right now.

Or memes, or if you're a girl who listens.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was just a bad way.

That was misogynistic.

That was not nice.

That was bad.

I know if it was ever analogized, I apologize.

Numbers.

Three.

Oh, how did we not get that?

I might have.

No.

Oh.

No, no.

He got that one.

I actually might be rooting for memes today.

22.

I think I'm rooting for memes today.

75.

I need a win.

33.

61.

14.

19.

99 Pook.

76.

If I was in a double D situation, I just know I'd like, I'd try to cut the tension with a joke.

And that would just ruin the whole mood.

I'd just be like, I'm trying me hardest.

I'm trying me hot.

Yeah.

No.

Maybe.

so close.

Love you guys.

At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

While it drives us to create what could be,

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The University of Arizona.

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