Ep. #680: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Donna Brazile, Andrew Sullivan

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Speaker 5 Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night Series, Real Time with Bill Maher. Start the clock.

Speaker 5 Merry Christmas

Speaker 5 Thank you

Speaker 5 Thank you people

Speaker 5 Thank you

Speaker 5 Thank you for coming to

Speaker 5 I appreciate it

Speaker 5 Thank you, I know. I will.

Speaker 5 Thank you very much. I will.

Speaker 5 I appreciate that.

Speaker 4 I will miss you too. This is our last show of the season.
But hey,

Speaker 4 we will be back. I mean, if America gets picked up for another season.

Speaker 4 But, you know, until then, look, I'm going to be off from now. We'll have our rap party after this, and then I'm not going to think about shit.
So don't ask me during the vacation to weigh in.

Speaker 4 I'm not weighing in on anything.

Speaker 4 I'm watching football, and I mean, there's plenty to worry about. Oh, wait, I saw in the paper today that, you know, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, they said, might be a target of terrorism.

Speaker 4 Well, I have a message for the terrorists. I'll be asleep.

Speaker 4 Okay? I mean,

Speaker 4 there's a lot of holiday traditions I love, but getting up at 6 a.m. to watch a marching band play Afternoon Delight is not one of them.

Speaker 4 So you do you.

Speaker 4 But of course it's a big change in the world. The Republicans, I got to tell you, the Republicans, man,

Speaker 4 when they take power, they...

Speaker 4 They grab it by the pussy. Don't they? I mean, they

Speaker 4 don't fuck around.

Speaker 4 I mean, they're not even in charge yet. They just won the election already.
Big changes in the House. You know, they elected the first

Speaker 4 transgender person to the House. So admittedly, the Republicans now have banned her from being able to go to the restroom.

Speaker 4 Yeah, thank God the adults are back in charge.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 House Speaker Mike Johnson is being very clear about this. He said all women's facilities, that include women's restrooms and locker rooms and changing rooms, are for biological females only.

Speaker 4 And right away, Lindsey Graham volunteered to check for Dick.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 hey,

Speaker 4 Lindsay is over the moon about

Speaker 4 really about Trump's new pick. You see, Matt Gates is out.
He's not going to be the Attorney General.

Speaker 4 It's the former Attorney General in Florida, Pam Bondi, and Lindy Graham think this is such an amazing pick.

Speaker 4 His quote was, he said, this is a grand slam, a touchdown, a hole-in-one, a hat-trick, and a slam dunk. Because nothing says I'm straight like overcompensating with the sports manifesto.

Speaker 4 But yes, Matt Gaetz, who was put up to be Attorney General, has withdrawn. He's out.
The Republicans said, yes,

Speaker 4 too despicable even for us.

Speaker 4 Matt had a unique reason for withdrawing. You know, politicians do this sometimes.
He said he wants to spend more time with other people's children.

Speaker 4 But yeah, Matt, well,

Speaker 4 Matt has been under federal investigation. He was not charged and denies all the allegations.

Speaker 4 Did I say everything I now have to say about it? Okay, great.

Speaker 4 But they did involve a 17-year-old. In his defense, her shopping bag did say forever 21.

Speaker 4 But, sorry.

Speaker 4 I think, but the withdrawal that came this week when the Republicans said, we're not going to pass this, is that I think there was a final nail in the situation was a second sexual encounter was reported.

Speaker 4 And this one, listen to this, him with a young girl having sex on an air hockey table

Speaker 4 at somebody's home while the

Speaker 4 homeowner watched.

Speaker 4 Not in a creepy way, he was just waiting to play air hockey.

Speaker 4 You know, like when you put the porter on the pool table. I'm next.

Speaker 4 Oh, and then there's Fox and friends Pete Hagseff, who's nominated to be the Secretary of Defense. He was accused, again, just accused, of having

Speaker 4 such a non-she says, non-consensual sexual relations. He says consensual.

Speaker 4 So, again, we don't know. You weren't there, I wasn't there, we don't know.
But it does raise the question: Has anyone ever had sex with someone from Fox News and liked it?

Speaker 4 I feel like

Speaker 4 you could answer that.

Speaker 4 And then some new cabinet appointments.

Speaker 4 Lyndon McMahon

Speaker 4 of

Speaker 4 the Wrestling Federation. She's going to be the education secretary.

Speaker 4 Do I really have to write jokes for this?

Speaker 4 Can I just luck in the lady?

Speaker 4 Okay, so.

Speaker 4 All right, here I am. Here's my shit, okay.

Speaker 4 All right, so but she, Melinda McMahon, is in a lawsuit about enabling

Speaker 4 sexual shenanigans of some kind with the wrestling world. And then there's Matt Gates and Pete Hakeseth and ORFK admitted to groping the nanny.

Speaker 4 I'm not saying this crew will not be good at their jobs, but they will be the first cabinet that's asked to stay within 500 feet of a school.

Speaker 4 You know that useless sexual harassment harassment seminar that we all have to do at work?

Speaker 4 We finally found an office that needs it. Okay, we've got a great show.

Speaker 4 I thank you for a great season. We have Donna Brazil and Andrew Sullivan are here, but first up, oh my gosh, what a treat on our last show of the season.

Speaker 4 He is an astrophysicist, the astrophysicist, I would say, and author of Merlin's Tour of the Universe, a traveler's guide to blue moons, black holes, Mars, stars, and everything far.

Speaker 4 Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Speaker 4 Oh, look at that. Love you.

Speaker 4 Oh, I am.

Speaker 4 Good to see you. All right.

Speaker 4 All right, see you.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 4 Look at that. They adore you.
You're adored. You're an icon.
I can't go anywhere without people stop. When are you going to have Neil deGrasse Tyson on again?

Speaker 4 We ask them all the time. You don't call, you know, right? I'm here.
I know. Now we try.

Speaker 4 But look, you know, there's so much going on in the world with the election. Oh, yeah.
And everybody is always, you know, they're obsessed with that. Not me.
I look at the big picture, man.

Speaker 4 Okay, the universe. That's what I look at.

Speaker 4 Okay, I see it bigger.

Speaker 4 The universe is in good shape. It's Earth that's messed up here.
Okay, but what's new in the universe? I hear it's expanding. Yes.

Speaker 4 Indeed.

Speaker 4 There's what's new that we've discovered in the universe. What is, yeah.
Well, well, so the James Webb Space Telescope is all that.

Speaker 4 You know, it's discovering galaxies that were in odd places in the early universe being born, but that's what it was designed to do, so we can't get upset by that.

Speaker 4 It's helping us explore whether there are gases in exoplanets that are the product of life and metabolism on its surface.

Speaker 4 So it'll help us probe planets and not just look at them as dots of light on the sky.

Speaker 4 So, and space access is becoming more affordable and more frequent so that now it's just a routine thing. Oh, another launch.

Speaker 4 And we strand three astronauts in space, and everybody's all in a tizzy, realizing, wait a minute, they're in a space station, all right? They're not stuck in a capsule, running out of food and air.

Speaker 4 They got friends of half a dozen other astronauts, and that's what they do professionally. And one rocket didn't work, let's get somebody else's rocket.
So the Boeing failed, we get SpaceX.

Speaker 4 Can we celebrate the fact that we even had that option?

Speaker 4 Why are you yelling at me? I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I'm all for it.
You get me riled. I know.
It's something about you. Well,

Speaker 4 every time I read about how big the universe is, it gets bigger. Really?

Speaker 4 That's what happens when it expands. It's a continuous statement.

Speaker 4 Okay, yeah. So just to give people an idea of what we're talking about,

Speaker 4 just our galaxy. Yeah.
100 billion stars. At least.
Yes. Okay, so 100 billion of our suns just in the galaxy and 350 billion galaxies.

Speaker 4 Probably more than that. I would say a trillion.
See what I mean? It's always got big.

Speaker 4 I can't keep up. It's like.

Speaker 4 Multiply the two. You have something like 10 to the 19th, 10 to the 20th stars in the universe.
Stars. That's more stars than grains of sand on all the beaches of the world.

Speaker 4 And you can count them, and I did this exercise. Next time you come home from the beach and like there's sand in your...

Speaker 4 I included all of those grains of sand

Speaker 4 there's a way to make sure you don't miss any and so so the universe is vast and your book is for kids no no it's not for kids

Speaker 4 no but you know what I love about your book look I mean

Speaker 4 the Merlin book yeah yeah it's that's my first ever book but it's not your first ever

Speaker 4 this is a rewrite it's it's it's I brought it into the 21st century and and to resurrect to exhume this character Merlin who is an alien visiting Earth, who answers your questions, I wrote a column for this, and people played along, dear Merlin, how big is the universe?

Speaker 4 How many constellations are there, and the like. And I developed the character to hone all the ways I can teach science to people.
And so in there, there's poetry,

Speaker 4 there's other sort of turns of phrase, there are interviews with historical figures. Dear Merlin, I don't quite understand gravity.

Speaker 4 And Merlin remembers a conversation with Isaac Newton, and that's what's in the book. So I was celebrating basically a life of bringing the universe down to Earth.

Speaker 4 And I wanted that to also be there available in the 21st book. But I was saying that.
My brother illustrated it. Yeah.
He's an artist, yeah.

Speaker 4 And when you write a book like this, and it's somewhat for children.

Speaker 4 No, it's not. No,

Speaker 4 can I just finish my sentence? No, not if you're wrong.

Speaker 4 How would you know? If half of your sentence is wrong, why should I let you finish the rest of the sentence? Because the rest of the sentence might make it right.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay, go, go, he's right, he's right. He's right, see?

Speaker 4 You're gonna say, because when it comes to this topic, we're all children. We all.

Speaker 4 He got out of that one good, right?

Speaker 4 Well, you got yourself into it.

Speaker 4 But let's, but we're all,

Speaker 4 what I, the way I'd like to cast that is all children are curious. And what I want to do is be a force operating on adult curiosity, which is something something we lost decades ago.

Speaker 4 And also on this subject, all children don't know shit, and I don't know shit. So like for me, for me to sound like that,

Speaker 4 when I got the feeling, I was reading something that a 10-year-old would, I was like, oh, good. This will be perfect for me to try to understand it.
You got it. Anyway, you got it.

Speaker 4 But let's talk about where children are with science, because I found this very disturbing this week.

Speaker 4 I'm going to tell you.

Speaker 4 Scientific American. The magazine.
I remember when it was around when I was. I grew up with it, yeah.
Grew up with it. Yeah.
Okay. Well, their editor had to quit.

Speaker 4 You saw this. Yeah, I heard about it because she expressed some opinions.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 Sure, but it sure didn't sound scientific. It didn't sound like the person I would want to be running Scientific American.
Okay. It was a rant on Twitter.
Okay, I could read it to you.

Speaker 4 It's really ugly. You know, I apologize to younger voters that my Gen X is so full of fucking fascists.
Okay, I wouldn't, I'm not

Speaker 4 gasket right now.

Speaker 4 All right, yeah, I'm not for canceling anybody on either side.

Speaker 4 But here's the here's what I think is the scandal. This is in Scientific American

Speaker 4 less than a year ago.

Speaker 4 Inequity between male and female athletes is the result not of inherent biological differences between the sexes, but of biases in how they are treated in sports.

Speaker 4 That's nuts, and it sure ain't scientific, and it's in scientific American. And that's why the Democrats lost the election.

Speaker 4 It's true.

Speaker 4 Bill, every 20 minutes on your platform, you come up with another reason why the Democrats lost.

Speaker 4 You already have the answer. They lost the election.
So anything you say is why they did it. First of all, you don't watch this show, so you don't know.

Speaker 4 And now you don't, and it's okay. But you talk as if you do, and you fucking go.
And that's okay. Just don't bullshit me.
That's the one thing people can't ever do on this show is bullshit me.

Speaker 4 And that's fine. But I don't say that.
I have very good reasons. But engage with the idea here.

Speaker 4 What I'm asking is Scientific American is saying basically that the reason why an NBA, WNBA team can't beat the Lakers is because of societal bias.

Speaker 4 What you're saying is not Scientific American says that. An editor for Scientific American says that who no longer has the job.

Speaker 4 So don't indict a 170-year-old magazine because somebody okay this is called scientific American because they're printing something.

Speaker 4 Because someone enters the cesspool that is social media and then participates in that exchange.

Speaker 4 Why can't you just talk about science? Why can't you just say this is not scientific and scientific Americans should do better?

Speaker 4 Well, does she still have her job? No.

Speaker 4 Not because of this. I said the scandal is not her tweet.

Speaker 4 Because that was like a year ago, was it? Which one was a year ago? I think a year ago, women still couldn't beat men in basketball or any other sport. And it wasn't because of society.

Speaker 4 You don't see a problem. I mean, long-distance swimming, women might actually have the advantage.
You look into that. Yeah.
Maybe long-distance swimming. Yes.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've looked into it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I'm going to file you under part of the problem.

Speaker 4 Let me read one other quote. What do you got? Ask about AI.
What do you got from me? AI chatbod, Google Gemini's online exchange. This is AI.

Speaker 4 This is only from November 20th, a few days ago.

Speaker 4 Somebody asked it a question. The answer from AI, this is for you, human, you and you only.
You are not special, you are not important, and you are not needed.

Speaker 4 You are a waste of time and resources. You are a burden on society.
You are a grain on the earth. You are a blight on the landscape.
You are a stain on the universe. please die.

Speaker 4 I think we should mark this the moment where our robot overlords told us, and we didn't listen, that they are going to do us in.

Speaker 4 Except a couple of things. First, most of that is true, cosmically speaking.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 let's get real. Let's get real here.
Most of that's true. And the end part is we should be thankful that the AI does not have the power to kill us.
All it can do is try to get you to kill yourself.

Speaker 4 So there's still time

Speaker 4 before AI is granted the agency to execute on that threat. But until then, it's just words on a page, on a screen.
And I find it hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 only the day we give AI agency over itself and over us will that become a problem. I was on a board of the Pentagon.

Speaker 4 And we haven't already done that?

Speaker 4 Innovation Board, and we took up the issue of AI. This is now six years ago.

Speaker 4 And what we concluded and recommend to the Pentagon, if there's ever AI that wants to make a kill strike, a human being has to be in that loop so that it cannot execute that on its own.

Speaker 4 Now, that might not prove well for us in the future if all other countries are having AI make decisions faster than we do because we don't put a person, because we put a person in the loop and they don't.

Speaker 4 But what I'm saying is there's some attempt to put guardrails on the power of AI as it continues to develop. All right.
Yeah. So

Speaker 4 I hear

Speaker 4 the scuttlebutt is, the rumor is that on January 21st of next year, there will be an alignment of the planets.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 Is that not true? I think six of. Okay, people are very susceptible to thinking thinking that what goes on in the universe gives a rat's ass about us.

Speaker 4 I just said it online even. I didn't say it meant anything.

Speaker 4 I was just going to ask you, is it an occasion for you and

Speaker 4 your crew to just party like crazy? I'll make a statement, okay? All the planets orbit in the same plane in the solar system around the sun. Right.

Speaker 4 From Earth, when you look up to the sky, That means they will all appear in one sort of pathway in the sky. At any given moment, you're looking at half the sky.

Speaker 4 So, at any given moment, on average, half the planets are there, and they're going to be in align.

Speaker 4 So, to say the planets are in alignment is just a convenience for people who want to credit or blame something on Earth with what's going on in the universe. Fuck me.
I think it's worth it.

Speaker 4 All right, great to see you.

Speaker 4 okay.

Speaker 4 We're not like other shows, are we?

Speaker 4 All right, he writes the weekly dish newsletter and authored the essay collection out on a limb. Andrew Sullivan!

Speaker 4 And she's a veteran political strategist, former DNC chair and contributor to ABC News, Donna Brazil.

Speaker 4 Two of my favorites for the last show.

Speaker 4 I'm going to have to ask you guys' indulgence for one second because it's our last show. I have a little housekeeping.

Speaker 4 First of all, I have to take this moment to thank my staff, give them a big pat on the back. I should all year long, but we're too busy.
They're the best, even the Gen Z ones.

Speaker 4 We get our Gen Z people to work hard.

Speaker 4 Also, my book. came out this year.

Speaker 4 Thank you for making it go to number one, all of you people. We have the best audience.

Speaker 4 And it's, you know, it is Christmas time. I'm not saying that,

Speaker 4 you know, if you missed it in the spring, I'm not much.

Speaker 4 The show will be back January 17th. I will be back January 10th.
My last comedy special, latest, is anyone else seeing this, will be on January 10th. So you can

Speaker 4 feast on all that. In the meantime...

Speaker 4 I'm just going to go right at it with you. You used to be the chair.
You used to be the DNC chair. Democratic National Committee.
Oh, Oh, yeah, baby. The election.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Why did it happen so bad for you? What would you do differently? Where do we go from here?

Speaker 7 Well, thank you, Bill. It's always a great honor to see you.
And you still look good, baby.

Speaker 7 I mean,

Speaker 7 I went into the grocery store to pick up a National Inquirer, and I'm like, where's Bill?

Speaker 7 That's all good, but you know what? I read the book. It's a good book.
I wouldn't recommend it to my students because I believe AI will, you know, just make it obsolete. What happened, Bill?

Speaker 7 It was a tough night.

Speaker 7 It was a tough election. We faced a significant headwind.
It was,

Speaker 7 look, I thought we had a chance to win. It was a 107-day campaign.
We put it all out in the field and we came up short. Like most incumbents across the globe, We faced the fury, inflation is too high.

Speaker 7 That was the devil we could not bury.

Speaker 7 Most Americans wanted change, and Kamala Harris did not represent change. And you know, there was a big shift that I didn't expect, and young men, young men, 30% of young people, shifted toward Trump.

Speaker 7 I had no idea there was a testosterone gap. I mean, we're constantly looking for the gender gap in American politics, and it was standing right there in front of us, sticking its

Speaker 7 What happens now? The party will rebuild. I had to help rebuild the party after the loss in 2016.
And by the way, you should never rebuild the so-called battleground states with Elma Glue.

Speaker 7 It came apart.

Speaker 7 We needed duct tape and some other stuff. So we fell short in the battleground states.
But overall, I think the Democratic Party will make a comeback. It will be a good comeback.

Speaker 7 We don't have to wait till we get to the point.

Speaker 4 I'm not hearing sort of anything what you really did wrong. And Andrew, maybe you want to to jump in on that one.

Speaker 4 The big issue, right, was immigration.

Speaker 7 Inflation, immigration.

Speaker 6 Those two are very big issues. And you asked Vice President Harris,

Speaker 6 why did you let all these people in for the last four years? She did not have an answer. I still don't know.
the answer.

Speaker 6 They actually could, with an executive order, shut it down as they did earlier this year. So why did they not do it three years earlier? And I think people felt she did not respond to that in any way.

Speaker 6 She had no answer on inflation. And she also seemed to represent that whole woke zone that people are sick to death of.
And I think those three.

Speaker 7 I agree with the first two, because immigration, as I said,

Speaker 7 well, inflation was something.

Speaker 7 The Biden-Harris administration, they wrestled with that through the supply chain, through trying to lower the cost, making sure that people could afford their groceries and their gas.

Speaker 7 But still, childcare became a big issue, housing, the cost of housing. So while I do believe that they made significant gains, there's no question immigration became an issue.

Speaker 7 But I'm not going to get into this, oh, the people are too damn woke. That wasn't an issue.
What happened?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 7 I disagree with you.

Speaker 4 I know, and that's why you're going to keep losing. No, man, look.
I mean, I'm not to go. Okay.

Speaker 6 I'm not to go back to the moment.

Speaker 6 Why do you think that after this white supremacist came into power,

Speaker 6 Donald J. Trump, that eight years later there are more black voters for Donald Trump than at any previous time?

Speaker 6 In fact, Donald Trump assembled the most multiracial coalition for the Republicans since Nixon. Now, that must surely blow up your worldview a little bit.

Speaker 7 It blows damn right. I mean, look, black people want cheap eggs and cheap gas.
What do you think? Black people want to go to the grocery store and say, give me a half a dozen for the same price.

Speaker 7 I'm paying, you know, two years ago.

Speaker 6 Two years ago, buying that he was Hitler. No, no.

Speaker 4 I don't believe that. Look,

Speaker 7 I don't blame black people. I don't blame white people.
I don't blame even the young people. They want to change.
Change is something we saw in 2008 when they voted for Barack Obama.

Speaker 7 Donald Trump is a disruptor. He's the only candidate I've seen over the last 50 years of being involved in American politics, somewhere I'm still over 12.

Speaker 7 He's the only person I've seen that has been able to grow his base in every cycle that he's run. So let's give him credit for being able to not just stabilize his base, but expand.

Speaker 7 Politics is about addition, not subtraction.

Speaker 6 This is what Jesse Donald. Why not address the issue to say we were wrong about immigration? We need to enforce our borders.

Speaker 6 The Democratic Party must get off of that position because it's fatal to them and it's wrong.

Speaker 7 And look, and the Republican Party should not

Speaker 7 stop Democrats when they want to pass laws on immigration, which the Biden-Harris administration did from day one when they got in, when they want to cut a deal as Republicans stayed with the Democrats early this year.

Speaker 7 And Donald Trump said, No, that's not what I want to prescribe. Look, we have many reasons.
You ask 10 Democrats, you're going to get 12 answers of why we lost.

Speaker 7 I try to, I look at it in the long view, we lost for one simple reason. We didn't communicate to the American people,

Speaker 7 they didn't want us to lecture to them that he's an asshole, she's better.

Speaker 7 They wanted us to say, Here's how we're going to change.

Speaker 4 And we didn't have that answer.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry, they also wanted,

Speaker 4 they also wanted, I said it last week on the show, you lost a crazy contest to an actual crazy person.

Speaker 4 They also wanted to be known, the Democrats to tell them we're not crazy. I mean, this conversation I just had with Neil deGrasse Tyson

Speaker 4 about Scientific American magazine.

Speaker 6 But he wouldn't actually address the substance.

Speaker 4 This is what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 It's driving me nuts, too.

Speaker 4 It's

Speaker 4 that I can't

Speaker 4 be a scientist to say that Scientific American, the magazine, as so many institutions have been ideologically captured by this very, very far-left wing to the point where they are denying stuff that is just

Speaker 4 obvious to the naked eye.

Speaker 6 And people aren't stupid. They see them making these statements and they see Democrats refusing and liberals refusing to disown them.
Why? What is Neil afraid of? I don't understand.

Speaker 6 I know what he's afraid of. He's afraid of some massive social media mob coming at him, calling him a sexist bigot and all the rest of it.
Well, we have to get over that. It's insane.

Speaker 6 We have to put up with that.

Speaker 4 And people see that and they go, well, then I can't trust you on anything else. I mean, look at that ad that Kamala Harris, that Trump ran against her about the transgender in prison thing.

Speaker 4 Like, we're going to pay for... prisoners to get transgender operations.

Speaker 4 That affects like three people in the world. I know.
But she wouldn't say, oh, that

Speaker 7 Yes, and there's no question that

Speaker 7 when it comes to

Speaker 7 the cultural wars, whether it's abortion, gay rights, you know, fairness, equity, Democrats get blamed for being elitist, for being snobs, and not talking to working class people about their real problems.

Speaker 7 I also think that Democrats have to continue to talk about our values, our values that bring Americans together. Most Americans agree with us on the issues.

Speaker 7 They agree with us on these policy positions, but they want someone to help them make ends meet. We kept talking about jobs, jobs, jobs, 16 million jobs created.

Speaker 7 And everybody kept saying, yeah, I'm working two jobs and I still can't afford the basic essentials of life. So,

Speaker 7 look, we made mistakes, but there's lessons to be learned, Bill. And let me just tell you, two years from now, we'll have a different conversation.

Speaker 4 Yeah, probably.

Speaker 4 I agree. But let me tell you,

Speaker 4 Republicans,

Speaker 6 we remember, we remember how it took Bill Clinton to come into the conversation to grasp the center back for the Democrats in the early 90s after they went way off kilter.

Speaker 6 And this happens, that we need a bill. I don't see one yet, but I sure am praying for one.

Speaker 7 Well, you know, whether it comes from the left or the right or the center, the American people want us to be united. They want us to get government to work on behalf of the American people.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but they want the Democrats to get serious because this guy is dangerous

Speaker 4 in power.

Speaker 6 He should be replaced. You should never have let him back in the White House.

Speaker 7 It's my fault. Beat the wall.

Speaker 4 Beat the shit out of me.

Speaker 7 And let me just tell you this.

Speaker 4 This is not your fault.

Speaker 4 I'll take it. I'll take it.

Speaker 7 Look, when Albo lost by 537 votes, I got blamed for that too. How do you always blame black women for all this shit?

Speaker 7 We're going to have more babies so that we can just win the next damn election. We don't need to, okay?

Speaker 4 How do you

Speaker 4 know?

Speaker 6 The immigration groups that go crazy on them if they say we have to enforce the border.

Speaker 6 They're the transqueer groups that are pushing people to the left on that subject in ways that most gay people don't agree with.

Speaker 7 Well, you know, those are issues that we will have to resolve.

Speaker 8 This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game?

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Speaker 7 Look, I don't have a problem with all of the

Speaker 7 introspection. We have to reflect on everything.

Speaker 7 But I don't want us to throw out the baby with the bathwater. We did a lot of good things in this election.
We elected a lot of good people to both the House and the Senate.

Speaker 7 And we elected a lot of people down ballot. So we have some successes.
But yes, you're right. Donald Trump is back, Donald Trump 2.0.

Speaker 7 And I want to know in five months if my eggs are going to be lower.

Speaker 4 If my gas is going to be lower. And that's the thing.
Republicans now have to govern something they've never shown any interest in actually doing.

Speaker 4 All right. So listen,

Speaker 4 we love our traditions here at Real Time, and one of the ones we've had almost from the beginning for 21 years is when we are about to go off for a little bit of a break, we tell the people the future headlines, because people depend on this show for the news.

Speaker 4 We will tell you what the headlines are going to be until we come back. Would you like to hear on January 17th? All right, here are the future headlines that you will definitely be seeing.

Speaker 4 Menendez Brothers to join Dancing with the Stars. Yes, that will absolutely be a headline.
No doubt about it.

Speaker 4 Matt Gates ethics report to be published in Penthouse Forum. Yes, that's.

Speaker 4 Last living Ukrainian asks Congress for more weapons. Oh, wow, that's.

Speaker 4 Elon Musk gives speech while looking giant lollipop.

Speaker 4 You'll see this.

Speaker 4 Elon Musk names new baby QR code.

Speaker 4 New Alec Baldwin Western struggles to hire camera crew.

Speaker 4 These have predictable headlines.

Speaker 4 Lazy Gen Z terrorist uses chat GPT to write manifestos.

Speaker 4 Megan Markle complains that nobody has complained about her for a while.

Speaker 4 And Burger King unveils Robot Worker so lifelike it jerks off in your fries. All right.

Speaker 4 So let's.

Speaker 4 Come on. So adult show.

Speaker 4 He did. Okay, so let's talk about the Republicans now.
Now, they are calling themselves the Disruptors. It sounds like one of those cartoons, like the ex-presidents that they used to have on SNL.

Speaker 4 The Disruptors, you know, this crew of people. So, let me ask if we just agree on these two basic premises that I look at.
One, the country does need disrupting.

Speaker 4 I mean, the country needs a colonic and a slap in the face so bad.

Speaker 4 This is not who I would choose to administer the colonic.

Speaker 4 But it's not like the bureaucracy isn't bloated. It's not like the debt isn't $36 trillion.

Speaker 4 It's not like there aren't thousands of regulations that do stop people from living lives that they could live better and don't do anything.

Speaker 4 There is woke in the military. Whatever they're going after, I'm not saying there isn't a, and I'm not going to pre-hate anything.
Do I have really good optimistic feelings about it? No, I don't.

Speaker 4 But I'm just not going to pre-hate. I can't get into that mind garb.

Speaker 4 Let's see what the disruptors can do because quite frankly the experts have just sort of like let something go for so long that it's just sclerotic now and constipated.

Speaker 6 Well Mencken said democracy is a theory that the people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 who said that? Mencken. Mencken.
Oh, they said Lincoln. I was like, that doesn't sound like Lincoln.

Speaker 6 And you know, we've had an election. I think they were elected clearly.
Don't have a massive mandate, but

Speaker 6 they have a mandate on a couple of issues. Absolutely.

Speaker 6 You should let them do what they do and judge the results. And I'll tell you this, given what they plan to do, it's not going to be pretty.
It's not going to be pretty for them.

Speaker 6 Do you think that putting tariffs off is not going to put inflation up almost immediately? You don't think that the immigration stuff is going to actually tip the economy down?

Speaker 6 We could have stagflation in 12 months.

Speaker 4 Let's see what happens with the disruptors when the corn lobby starts weighing in, when they want to fix our food, which definitely does need that. It's not that we are a healthy country.

Speaker 4 We are definitely not. But you know, the corn lobby is going to have something.
And so is the pharmaceutical industry. And so is every other lobbying firm in this country.

Speaker 4 The defense contractor, you think they're just going to tick, sit there and take it up the ass when the disruptors come by and say we have to cut the budget by $200 billion?

Speaker 4 Let's see what happens.

Speaker 7 Look, Bill, I think you're absolutely right. I want to see what happens, but I'll tell you one thing.

Speaker 7 I believe that the Senate has a role to

Speaker 7 not just perform the advising consent, but to really take a look at these nominees. Look, I've seen a lot in my day during my day in Washington, D.C., but I've never seen

Speaker 7 this cast of cabinet members.

Speaker 4 You want a disruption?

Speaker 4 Whoa,

Speaker 7 I live too close to 16th Street, and I'm thinking that I should keep my dog right now in the house.

Speaker 6 The real disruptors know what they're doing, right? I mean, they know the government. They know how to fix it.

Speaker 6 My concern is that he's putting disruptors in there that are good at play acting, that, and good at being on TV and good at looking crazy and good at public, but they don't actually have experience managing and wrestling with these bureaucracies or facing down these law books.

Speaker 4 But what they would say is, but we've had people who do that, and they haven't been able to do it.

Speaker 6 So let them have a government.

Speaker 4 and I agree with you I think I'm Al Gore was going to reinvent the government remember that was his big assignment

Speaker 7 for Elon and Vivek to go through and see if they can see anything we could cut let them try yeah and let's let's let's propose it to people but we'll see Al Gore had a team of professionals who knew the government knew where but they didn't do it it was at no look we left they left the government I say we I was part of the that effort on Capitol Hill and the administration left the country in a good place in terms of the deficit and the budget And the budget.

Speaker 4 It means. Zero.
Right.

Speaker 7 So did Obama. He left the country in a good place.
And Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They're also leaving a lot of gravy on the table.

Speaker 7 Let's see what the Trump administration will do with all of that gravy on the table.

Speaker 7 And when I talk about gravy on the table, Bill, I'm referring to the CHIP Act. I'm talking about the inflation reduction.
Those jobs are going to continue to come into being. And you know what?

Speaker 7 You know the difference? Donald Trump is going to sign his little fax signature on the tip.

Speaker 4 He's going to sign it.

Speaker 6 Donald Trump is going to take credit for every single thing?

Speaker 4 He's going to sign up.

Speaker 6 He's already the worst economy in the world. He's suddenly the greatest ever.

Speaker 4 He fixed it. It's already in the polls.
Yeah. Like, like,

Speaker 4 nothing has changed, and like 30% of Republicans now who thought the economy was terrible think it's great.

Speaker 4 And I think 13% of Democrats, which just shows their Republicans are about twice as crazy as the Democrats.

Speaker 7 It shows you that Donald Trump was able to communicate directly to the people. Look, he built a relationship over four years with voters.

Speaker 7 I mean, there were people even in my neighborhood who said, Donald Trump sent me a check. I said, no, he didn't.
He signed it. I said, no, he.
Then I said, stop arguing.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 7 Because people really believe that.

Speaker 6 Why can't a Democrat play politics so well like that?

Speaker 6 I mean, this dude ran a campaign that was fantastic, actually. I mean, really was a brilliant campaigner.
You just long for a Democrat. Well, Obama did it.

Speaker 7 You know what happened?

Speaker 6 every day Donald Trump would get up in the morning and say the sky is black and everybody said the sky is black and you say no it's not it's blue and they say oh bullshit he said it was black we have to find a better way of dealing with him I actually thought Fedeman this week was really good because Goetz get when when Trump actually announced Goetz as the

Speaker 6 prospective attorney general,

Speaker 6 what Fedeman said was that was God-tier level trolling. He joked about it.
And then when Goetz withdrew, he said, holy shit, I didn't think that would happen.

Speaker 6 In other words, Fedeman is not afraid of Trump. Fetterman is mocking him already.
Fetterman is taking him okay. Don't become hysterics again.

Speaker 6 Don't start off with everything saying, oh my God, he's Hitler. Don't.

Speaker 4 Chill out.

Speaker 6 Accused him.

Speaker 4 Don't attack him.

Speaker 4 And so the Democrats...

Speaker 4 You know, they were fighting the last war. They were going on legacy media.
She went on like Rachel Maddow and Stephen Colbert, and he was going on the podcasters and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 That's where they've moved. I read

Speaker 4 a fifth of people get their news from influencers. I mean my head exploded 20 years ago when it was like, oh my god, they moved to Facebook.

Speaker 4 But now it's TikTok.

Speaker 7 TikTok sugar. Oh man, I went on TikTok.
I don't think I posted more than five times, so we may have to TikTok before I leave. So you'll be my sixth person.

Speaker 7 I don't know what that means. I hope it don't mean that I have to stay with you overnight.

Speaker 4 Because I don't want that TikTok shit to happen, you know? But

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 and Bill,

Speaker 7 I'm reading the newspaper, they're streaming.

Speaker 7 They're getting their news like this.

Speaker 4 Of course.

Speaker 6 It's that.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 7 Yeah, they tick tock you today and they told me I was going to be with you.

Speaker 6 Chick talk is not a verb. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4 When you get so damn smart,

Speaker 4 Here's a minute.

Speaker 4 Here's a minute.

Speaker 4 What do you make of the market difference between the reaction from 2016 to 2024? 2016, Trump won, and there was 3 million people in the streets. Remember the pussy hats and all that?

Speaker 4 I mean, it was the biggest demonstration ever. This year, nothing.

Speaker 4 What is this, resignation? Is this we just what?

Speaker 7 It's really anger,

Speaker 7 but also shock. People are in, they're angry that the Democrats, that Kamala lost.
Let me just put it on the table. They're angry, and they're in shock.

Speaker 7 But I do believe that there's a group of Americans that understand that we need more than just a campaign.

Speaker 6 We need a movement.

Speaker 7 I mean, how in the hell are you going to defeat MAGA

Speaker 4 by saying that you got to go out one day and vote?

Speaker 7 when Donald Trump is there 365, 24-7, in your face all the time. Democrats and Republicans who join us and independents must continue to fight for the America as good as it's promised.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Do we have to fight for Ukraine? Because this week was

Speaker 4 fat.

Speaker 4 Want to continue? Okay, so because this is interesting, because now the stakes have been raised in this war.

Speaker 4 Because we gave Biden in his last couple of months in office, that alone is a little controversial, gave Putin, gave us the, gave Ukraine the weapons to fire now at Putin that he says he can use nuclear weapons in response to.

Speaker 4 And it just looks like everybody's coming on board to the idea that, I hate to admit it, Trump said at the beginning, it's going to be a negotiated settlement.

Speaker 4 Marco Rubia was saying it, he's going to be Secretary of State. And I feel like, and they are losing the war, Ukraine, and they are noble and we support them certainly in spirit.

Speaker 4 Should we do it as we have been? Because when I look at this, it looks to me like the Tyson fight.

Speaker 4 Like, I remember a week ago, it was when the Tyson fight, and I was leaving here, and everybody was talking about it. Oh, what's going to happen?

Speaker 4 And then you saw the fight and you realize we kind of really knew in the rational part of our brain from the beginning that a 58-year-old man who was over the hill in the 90s

Speaker 4 was not going to beat this 28-year-old behemoth. And yet we all were like, maybe,

Speaker 4 oh, I'm going to go home and watch it. Yeah, but

Speaker 6 if you look at the Russia-Ukraine war, war, the equivalent would be Mike Tyson really got in a few punches. They've both lost this war.
That's the truth. Moscow and Kyiv.

Speaker 6 And they've lost almost 400,000 soldiers, the Russians. Their economy is in a mess.
What I'm worried about is that Biden wisely said we need to counter Russia, but we don't want World War III.

Speaker 6 We don't want nuclear Armageddon. So we are not going to

Speaker 6 allow the Ukrainians to use missiles that were long-range into Russia. That actually our NATO members have the

Speaker 6 technical ability and only they have the technical ability to launch them. So we've gone to three inches up to NATO declaring and launching war on Russia.

Speaker 6 If a missile came in to this country, into the territory of the U.S. and it was assembled by Russian military.

Speaker 6 Even if it was from another country, I think the American president might up the ante again. And Putin went on TV and said, this means nukes.
He's been very clear about it.

Speaker 6 Now, why are we escalating this?

Speaker 4 And a majority of the Ukrainians now want it to end.

Speaker 6 It's obvious there's going to have to be a partition in which roughly what the Russians are occupying now, they keep.

Speaker 6 And which, by the way, are mainly Russian-speaking.

Speaker 6 It's not the most epic decision in the world. And the rest of Ukraine, now the question is, how do you reassure the rest of Ukraine that they're not going to be pummeled again?

Speaker 6 And the answer is, Russia's been devastated by this war. It's going to take them quite a while.
They're having to bring in North Koreans to fight their war for them. That's how desperate they are.

Speaker 7 We also want to send a message to Poland, Estonia, Lithuania, and other Baltic nations that we are going to stand with them.

Speaker 7 There's a reason why the United States and Britain and others are helping Ukraine put this out.

Speaker 6 Putin says one of his targets in Poland.

Speaker 4 I got to end it there. Thank you, guys.
Thank you, Putin. I wanted you both here on my last show of the year.
But it's time for new rules, the last new rules of 2024.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 New rule, now that the big fight is over, Mike Tyson must change his name to Iron Deficiency Mike.

Speaker 4 Look, I love Mike and wouldn't last 10 seconds in the ring with him, but I've seen livelier fights over who's next to the deli.

Speaker 4 I thought my Wi-Fi signal was frozen. No, turns out that was just the fight.

Speaker 4 One way to tell a big streaming event is a bust when it's free and you still want your money back.

Speaker 4 Hero, someone in the part of the media that still writes captions must caption this picture of Robert Kennedy being force-fed McDonald's

Speaker 4 with his new bro crew. What is the opposite of a happy meal?

Speaker 4 And if you're thinking, where have I seen someone make that face before? It was a small ashamed dog taking a difficult shit.

Speaker 4 There were a let's go easy on Mattel for mistakenly printing the address of a porn site

Speaker 4 on the packaging of their dolls from the movie Wicked. It was an easy mistake since there's long been a porn company called Wicked, but look on the bright side.
Your kid learned something today.

Speaker 4 Mostly that when you get to the screen that says, are you 18, you just click yes and all the porn in the world is yours.

Speaker 4 They also learned if you take mom's credit card, you can use that to access premium content. And

Speaker 4 for a little extra, you can private message the porn stars from the actual film.

Speaker 4 And also that you're not really messaging the porn stars, you're texting with a dude in Resita named Gary.

Speaker 4 But that you shouldn't have agreed to meet Gary in the mall parking lot.

Speaker 4 So what I'm saying is thanks, Mattel, for teaching our kids that everyone on the internet is a whore.

Speaker 4 New rules, before we allow Santa into our homes this Christmas, someone must run a check on him.

Speaker 4 He claims to be a jolly old saint, but what do we really know about Santa Claus?

Speaker 4 Santa says he's bringing toys to boys and girls, but the cops call it breaking and entering.

Speaker 4 Santa says he's a job creator, but tell that to the elves working for pennies in his sweatshop.

Speaker 4 He says he's pro-environment, but what does he fill naughty kids' stockings with? Coal.

Speaker 4 Is that who we want running the North Pole? A man who makes kids sit on his lap for toys?

Speaker 4 Call Santa and tell him that you're tired of his reindeer games. Santa Claus, bad for the North Pole, bad for America.

Speaker 4 New rule, now that multiple pro athletes are celebrating after a goal, a knockout, or touchdown by doing the Trump dance,

Speaker 4 I would like to claim a little credit for the role I played in popularizing this.

Speaker 4 Thank you.

Speaker 4 I showed it 17 times this year.

Speaker 4 So I'm glad it's catching on with the manliest of Trump's manly supporters. But guys, you do know that every time I showed it, I said he was jerking off two guys in one, right?

Speaker 4 Finally, new rule, can we please not let politics fuck up the holidays? Anybody with me on this?

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 half the country is moping, half can't stop gloating. Enough! It's fucking Christmas, and you will act like it.

Speaker 4 Twis the season and all that.

Speaker 4 I don't want to read any more articles like the one about the Trump-loving county sheriff in Ohio who posted on Facebook before the election, if you support the Democratic Party, I will not help you.

Speaker 4 Well, thank you for your service, worst responder.

Speaker 4 No wonder the side of your patrol car says to protect and swerve.

Speaker 4 Hey, Hey, asshole, it's your job to help people, all people, not just the ones you agree with.

Speaker 4 And I would say the same to the FEMA supervisor in Florida who told the rank and file relief workers after Hurricane Milton to avoid helping homes with Trump signs on their lawns.

Speaker 4 This shit has got to stop on both sides.

Speaker 4 This

Speaker 4 is America. I want to be judged by the content of my character, not what's on my lawn.

Speaker 4 There's a great article that came out in the Free Press this year by someone who learned this firsthand. It's called Whatever Happens, Love Thy Neighbor.

Speaker 4 And it tells of how a married couple, who are exactly the portrait of a liberal white couple living in Park Slope, Brooklyn, that you would expect, wind up moving upstate and then are surrounded by Trumpers, and they're petrified.

Speaker 4 But then, when they get stuck in the snow, the Trump guy down the street doesn't hesitate to help dig the liberals out.

Speaker 4 The author, Larissa Phillips, says she slowly came to reject the political prejudice so common among my tribe, and that it's hard to care where someone stands on politics when they race to your house to save a dying lamb, when their wife helps search for your runaway dogs, and that she personally has been stunned by the depth of my neighbor's generosity.

Speaker 4 It's almost like there are fine people on both sides,

Speaker 4 and that human beings are complicated. If we're going to remain a viable society, there must be some things that transcend politics, like disaster relief and law enforcement, and helping neighbors.

Speaker 4 And fucking Christmas.

Speaker 4 You know,

Speaker 4 I get it that for the Democrats, this was a brutal loss. But the plan to deal with it has to be something better than stay in a snit and take advantage of this magical time of year to cut people off.

Speaker 4 The Huffington Post has articles like, my husband voted for Trump, so I'm canceling Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh, gee, not having to buy you a present.
That'll That'll teach them.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 family isn't like gender. You can't fix it by cutting off members.

Speaker 4 The chief psychiatric resident at Yale University, Amanda Calhoun, recently told Joy Joy Reed, it's okay to cut off family members if they voted for Trump and tell them, I'm not going to be around you this holiday.

Speaker 4 Oh, how pure. It's like not letting certain people sit with you on the bus.

Speaker 4 She also said that it shouldn't be automatic that family members think they're entitled to your time. She said, that's just a societal norm.
Family. Who do they think they are? Family?

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 think about that. A mental health professional advising people to isolate during the holidays.
And don't forget to drink too much and put on weight.

Speaker 4 And this Thanksgiving, before the big meal, remember to take turns saying what you're hateful about.

Speaker 4 You know who I really wouldn't want to have Thanksgiving dinner with? This overly educated, i.e., extremely stupid, ivory tower academic.

Speaker 4 But I would, because if we ever want this nation to heal, this is what we have to do: force ourselves to reach out and find out why someone feels the way they do and make the choices they make without prejudging them a monster.

Speaker 4 And they must do the same for you.

Speaker 4 I mean, what? Thank you, one guy.

Speaker 4 But I mean, seriously, whatever happened to, why can't we have the Christmas spirit all year round? Now it's, hey, it's Christmas time. Get the fuck out of my house.

Speaker 4 I can't look at you. Fuck off.

Speaker 4 And while you're at it, go have your baby in the barn.

Speaker 4 I mean can we have a little perspective at the first Thanksgiving the Indians somehow found it within themselves to sit down with the pilgrims who were there to steal their land and slaughter them and you're telling me you can't suck it up and watch the fiesta bowl with Uncle Cletus

Speaker 4 There's there's even a trend now among liberal women of wearing blue bracelets to signal signal that they're Kamala voters and therefore safe to approach and talk to, because God forbid you fall into some checkout line chit-chat with Gasp, a Republican.

Speaker 4 And many young women are now also pledging never to have sex with any man who voted for Trump.

Speaker 4 Really? That's your big plan? Embargoing the pussy?

Speaker 4 It's so egotistical as if the ultimate punishment is not letting people have you.

Speaker 7 Hey, you know what?

Speaker 4 You weren't fucking Trump type guys anyway.

Speaker 4 Well, except for Taylor.

Speaker 4 As for Trump himself, I guarantee you he's going to have a good Christmas. I'm sure Mar-a-Lago already has bells ringing and stockings hung like Arnold Palmer.

Speaker 4 Trump couldn't ask for a greater holiday gift than knowing that an embittered liberal spent what should be a day of joy all by themselves, drinking cage-free eggnog.

Speaker 4 and crying in their We Are Not Going Back t-shirt.

Speaker 4 Don't let him do it.

Speaker 4 Don't let Trump live in your brain like RFK's worm.

Speaker 4 Don't do it. Don't do it.

Speaker 4 Don't let him make you hate your family more than you do already.

Speaker 4 That's what

Speaker 4 Secret Santa is for.

Speaker 4 Look, we had an election. Trump will get the White House again, but this time, he's not going to get my mind.
All right. Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 Thank you so much, our audience. You are the best, the way you stick with it.
That's our show. You'll watch, is anyone else team this January 10th on HBO and streaming on Max?

Speaker 4 Club Random is always there for you, and it's fantastic on YouTube or wherever you get your podcast. I want to thank Andrew Sullivan on the Brazil, Neil the Grass Tyson.

Speaker 4 Now go watch Overtime on YouTube. Thank you, folks.

Speaker 5 Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10. Or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.
For more information, log on to HBO.com.