Ep. #694: Cheech Marin & Tommy Chong, Fmr. Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), Kara Swisher

Hey guys, have you heard of Gold Belly?

It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic, famous foods from restaurants across the country, anywhere, nationwide.

I've never found a more perfect gift than food.

Goldbelly ships Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls, and even Ina Garden's famous cakes.

So, if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code GIFT.

That's goldbelly.com, promo code GIFT.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance.

Business owners meet Progressive Insurance.

They make it easy to get discounts on commercial auto insurance and find coverages to grow with your business.

Quote in as little as six minutes at progressivecommercial.com.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, coverage provided and serviced by affiliated and third-party insurers.

Discounts and covered selections not available in all states or situations.

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Month series, Real Time with Bill Ma.

Start the clock.

Thank you.

Thank you, people.

How are you?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

Okay.

Thank you so much for putting on

a brace.

I appreciate it.

Thank you, please.

Please, I know, I know.

You're excited because it's Cinco de Mayo weekend.

Cinco.

Yes.

Cinco de Mayo.

Or as the Trump administration calls it, May 5th.

Yeah, well, Trump, he does not celebrate it too much.

He's not a drinker.

He does not drink tequila, you know, but he wanted to spend the day with something that had a worm, so he asked in RFK.

Oh, we just jokes.

We make jokes.

Oh, yes, Bobby Kennedy.

Oh, my God, Bobby,

I try so hard for you, but, you know, I mean, Jesus Christ, now he's saying that chemtrails are real.

This has been a conspiracy theory for the longest, you know, the things that come out of the end of a plane.

Yes, planes make smoke.

But Bobby says we have to end this crime against humanity.

Okay, you know what?

The engine on a plane is hot and the air up there is very cold.

Oh, fuck it.

I don't give a shit.

Believe what you want to believe.

I really, we're all going to hell in a hand cart anyway if that makes you happy.

I mean, twice, we hit the 100-day mark of the Trump administration, as you know, this week.

And

the numbers are kind of in the toilet.

39% of America approval rating.

That's the lowest 100-day mark for a president in 80 years.

It's like America remarried their ex and remembered why they got divorced in the first place.

I'm just giving you the facts.

The SP 500 down 7% since Trump took office.

The value of the dollar is off 10%.

The economy has shrunk for the first time in three years.

Consumer confidence is down for the first time in five years.

Kind of a high price for getting back plastic straws, is what I would

say.

And, you know, this is all because of the tariffs, which are going to have been in effect now for a while.

And then it's, we see it already now.

The ports, I don't know if you go to the ports, I don't, but I've seen,

I see, well, you always see that, you know, it's always been the bustling port of love, the bustling, no bustling.

Ports are not bustling.

And, you know, the containers aren't coming in, the ports aren't unloading, and then what happens?

They say soon the shelves at Walmart could be 90% bare, just like the people who shop there.

No,

I kid the Walmart shoppers.

But you know, you know, Trump, he only doubles down.

I mean, this guy, I got to say, the balls on him, they asked him about what's going to happen Christmas because, you know, 80% of the toys come from China, and this is the time they're starting to plan for that.

Trump said, Well, maybe the children this year will get two dollars instead of 30, and maybe they'll cost more.

Right, so there's less on the shelf, and it costs more.

What's your problem, people?

Just imagine you live at the airport.

I mean, what

I mean,

who runs on a pledge of, let's make Christmas worse for children?

He's also opening a new Trump-branded store called Toys R Sus.

And, you know,

the thing is that people in this country now, we don't understand why we're doing this.

Why are we fucking putting ourselves through this to bring manufacturing back from China to make the things here that they make in China?

That's the American dream.

Hey, you see that squirtle hanging off that girl's backpack?

My kid made that.

That's really

the new American dream: a house, a car, and a job, painting the eyes on brats' dolls.

I mean, for fuck's sake.

But, hey.

not all bad news.

We're getting a military parade for Trump's birthday.

So,

I know, tanks in the street, just what we need.

Yeah, and he's big on renaming.

We're going to rename Veterans Day Victory Day.

We're going to rename VED, VE Day.

That's Victory over Europe Day.

That's going to be Victory over World War and World War II Day.

And Columbus Day.

Columbus Day is going to be just Columbus Day for a while.

We went to Columbus Day and also recognizing Indigenous Peoples Day.

Trump says, no, we're going to get rid of that.

He said, that is just something activists made up to distort the true message of the holiday, which is that it's always okay for white people to come here uninvited.

All right, we've got a great show.

We have Kevin McCarthy and Karis Riser.

But first up,

they are the iconic comedic duo who are featured in their new documentary, Cheech and Chung's Last Movie, Now in Theaters.

Cheech and Chun are here.

Oh, my God.

Great to see you again.

How are you, Pal?

All right.

Well,

great to see you again.

It's been a little while, but I think you deserve that rock star welcome because

You are truly rock star comedians.

And I was thinking watching your movie, which is fantastic, by the way,

that there's just been, I could name like maybe a handful of people who I thought were comics who were also kind of got the rock star life

and the treatment, playing stadiums.

You guys had hit singles.

I mean, Eddie Murphy did it.

Steve Martin did it.

Dice Clay did it.

Russell Brand did it, maybe a little too much.

Money Python, Howard Stern, that's about the list.

But you guys kind of invented it.

Now, in the movie, you have a moment where you say,

we were a band, and you say, we weren't, and you insist you were.

I think you were.

You were just like a rock band, weren't you?

No, I've been in bands.

He's a singer.

Yeah.

There's a difference.

Yeah.

Singers have bands.

But

well, I mean you're such a rock star I think Tommy.

You had two families,

which is something I learned in the movie.

Do you want to?

I got so black I married a white woman.

What I love about this movie, though, most of all, I mean, we're going to get to the origin story, but

you don't hide the fight.

No.

I mean, it's a movie where it's a lot of great clips from the greatest hits era, which went on for a long time, the movies, the singles, the music, the stage stuff.

But then it's now.

You see the two of you driving in the car.

That's the director.

He got it out of us, you know.

We didn't sign up for it.

When they said movies, we thought, oh, we'll do a Chee Chin Chong,

our take on it.

But we got there and there was no script.

And then the way he had it,

wrote it, Dave

Boucher.

Buchel?

Got to get his name right.

It's that

fighting.

That's interesting.

I think a lot of people would have cut that out.

I know.

They would have just went and let's look at the old days and see how great it was and it was.

But for anyone who's ever been curious about why bands break up and why they come to hit each other's fucking guts,

this is the movie for you.

Because it's all the things I think that

go on in bands.

Ego.

I mean, at one point, you say something like Tommy moved to France and

his ego just surpassed his talent or something like that.

What did he say?

No, that's not what I said.

I said his ego way surpassed his talents.

Right.

You know, I mean, that's better.

There's also the kind of the, at one point you say you're the senior member,

which I'm sure pisses you off.

No, not at all.

Because we're way older, but he is a senior member.

Right.

Meaning he's older than you.

And that senior member isn't working anymore.

I tried.

Yeah, no, no.

Come on, guy.

What's up?

I mean,

you have an argument about, you say, you know, do you really think that you directed the movies more than I did?

And you think you did, and you think he didn't?

No, I don't think he did.

I mean,

we had a, when we were making records,

which is my favorite period more than the movies, it's because we were making it up as we were going along.

And

this one is,

because the way the movies are set up, they have a director, they have a star, and they have a writer, and they have, but they're segmented, all the parts are segmented.

And

that's where I didn't mind not being named as a director, but we were working as we always work.

But Tommy wanted to be the name director, so fine with me.

Like I wanted to be.

No, the thing is, you have to be.

If you're a director, you have to direct.

That's the way it is.

And if you don't direct, you don't work.

It's a talent.

It's like playing music, you know.

That's why music is so popular because it's so real.

You talk about truth, that's where you'll find it in music.

Just the fact that they have to tune up, get the tune, get everything perfect, in tune.

And so a director

has a vision and knows what he wants to see, what he has to see.

And one time when we were...

I can see him thinking, oh, this asshole's doing it again.

No, exactly.

Exactly.

But one time I called Terrence Malick.

I'm a big fan of Terrence Malick.

His movies are incredible.

Because we were looking for a director.

And we had a little conversation.

I knew I was bugging him.

I had that feeling, you know, who is this?

Remind me of some of his movies?

Days of Heaven,

Badlands.

Badlands.

That's the one I really love.

These are not funny.

No, no, no.

I'm talking about composition.

Right.

I'm talking about the whole

movie experience.

And you thought that would have been good for a cheech and jong?

Absolutely.

Okay.

Absolutely.

And so I talked to him, and it was a short conversation.

He says,

He said, did you write it?

And I said, yes.

And he says, well, then you direct it.

And I said, okay.

Right.

And it makes sense to me.

Did he write it?

Oh, we wrote it together.

We wrote all our stuff together.

Morning decisions.

A creamy mocha frappuccino drink?

A sweet vanilla?

Maybe a smooth caramel or that white chocolate mocha.

Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits.

Start your day with bottled Starbucks frappuccino drinks.

Pick up a bottle near you wherever you buy your groceries.

At Blinds.com, it's not just about window treatments.

It's about you, your style, your space, your way.

Whether you DIY or want the pros to handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right.

From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows.

Because at blinds.com, the only thing we treat better than windows is you.

Visit blinds.com now for up to 40% off site-wide, plus a professional measure at no cost.

Rules and restrictions apply.

Class is now in session.

And the UPS store is here to help you ace arriving on campus.

Our certified packing experts can pack everything you need, from desktops to decor.

Plus, when you pack and ship with us, you get our exclusive pack and ship guarantee.

Your items arrive safe or your money back.

Restrictions and limitations apply.

To get a 20% off packing coupon and for full details, visit theupsstore.com slash packing.

But

I wrote the scenes.

They would come to me for what Stacey Keach was going to do.

Was he in the movie?

The breast of the movie.

Up and smoke, he was in the up and smoke.

And the next movie.

And so they had to know what the scene was.

Now, Stacy wrote his own dialogue.

But I wrote the scenario which he was going to do the dialogue in.

And I had to write it on a yellow page with Up and Spoke and I did it every day and then the script girl would come and take it, get it typed, get it to the director, Lou Adler and that.

And so if there's any question, ask Lou Adler or Lou Lombardo.

They were the ones that directed it.

I don't want to referee it.

I just

You know, I just think, you know, fans were...

Well, Howard Brown, who was in the movie.

Was he the manager?

And actually, no, no.

Another thing rock bands fight over.

I want this guy as my manager, and you want this guy, other guy, and you fought over that too.

You fought over everything rock bands fight over.

Yeah, exactly.

We were a rock band.

You were, absolutely.

We were musicians all our lives.

We were in bands all our lives.

And you had the same kind of popularity.

And by the way, Bill, I wrote the song.

That makes the whole world sing?

Oh.

Basketball jobs.

I was writing the movie, you know, that we were going to do with Lou Adler.

Right.

And I came to a meeting one day and I had a song.

It was called Up and Smoke.

Right.

And I sang it for the people and Cheech said.

Am I right?

Yeah, so far.

And Cheech said.

And Cheech said Lou,

that's the title of the movie.

Because Lou wanted to call it Cheech and Chang's Greatest Hits.

In fact, that was a working title.

But

when Cheech heard Up and Smoke, and then Chief

the Spanish version of Up and Smoke, and it's in the movie.

So, yeah, I wrote the song.

Okay.

See, it's important.

I'm going to tell you why it's important.

Okay, Tommy.

Does someone have a joint?

I've got to get this shot of chill out.

The Brolling Stones are very successful, right?

The Brolling Stones, yes.

Except for two guys.

Who?

Bill Wyman and

Charlie.

Charlie Watts?

Yeah.

The drummer and the bass player?

Why aren't they successful?

They never got into the tunes.

They never got residuals.

They never wrote any of the tunes.

They never wrote any of the tunes.

They never got any residuals.

So they got paid

for performing.

But they never got any Mick or Keith money.

Right.

Well, you don't if you don't write the songs.

Yeah, but you're in the band, you're together, you've been with them all your life.

Don't you think they should, something should become one of it?

Oh, I think that's his line.

Yeah

But

so which one

which one of you is the biggest owner this biggest owner?

I mean today and back then.

Oh

are you the biggest owner or me?

I don't know.

Really?

I really don't know at this point.

Well I need to say it's me and then he'll contradict me.

Yeah.

Most of the time

when we first met, I was just a meditator.

I didn't smoke at all.

I had smoked before, but I went a little bit.

A potter, the movie said.

A potter, I've made pottery.

How fitting?

Yeah.

I saw a t-shirt the other day that said, chicken pot pie, my three favorite things.

That's kind of me,

but I went through, but now I smoke every once in a while when I, you know.

Well, all of us who smoke, some of us who've done it on TV,

we owe you such a debt because, you know, when you, first of all, you did invent a whole genre of comedy.

It didn't exist before you.

That's right.

The stoner stuff.

And also, it was dangerous back then.

You mean you thrown in jail for a long time?

He went to jail in this century for selling bongs, right?

That's right.

How long were you in jail for?

Nine months.

Wow.

Did you meet any nice guys?

Did you meet any nice guys?

Nice guys in in prison?

I was going to say you would be great in prison.

Why?

What was that name?

I didn't even yell it.

Okay.

Anyway.

Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

All right.

He wouldn't he never visited me.

I did visit.

One time.

One time.

That's all it took.

I get it.

You're in jail.

Okay.

Well, I hope you're having a good time with this.

And I hope you, I mean, at the end of the movie, you say, you know, can't we just get past the past?

That would be great.

You can't completely ever.

No.

You just can't.

No one ever forgets where they buried a hatchet, but you still can love each other.

And fans, whether it's whatever the band is, we just want them not to be at odds with each other.

There's something emotional that's important, that the Beatles didn't hate each other at the end, and Simon and Garfunkel don't really hate each other.

And I think I see you today.

You guys still love each other, right?

All right.

Well, let's end it on that.

Thank you so much.

The movie's fantastic, by the way.

We'll see you at Chi Chin Chong, everybody.

All right, let's lead our panel.

How you doing?

Ah, Kevin McCarthy.

Wow.

All right.

Here's a former Republican Congress who represented California's 20th here and served as 55th Speaker of the House.

Kevin McCarthy is back with us.

All right.

And she co-hosts the Pivot podcast and wrote the New York Times bestseller Burn Book, a tech love story, Carraswisher.

Great to see you, as always.

Okay.

So much good stuff to talk about that's going on.

Yeah, so much.

It was May Day yesterday, and everyone at Wall Street was yelling, May Day, May Day.

Also the first hundred days, and you know, this is traditionally what they call the president's honeymoon.

You know, presidents do big things in the first hundred days.

Obama did Obamacare, Biden had the infrastructure thing, because you really, you get a brief honeymoon.

So

this is the honeymoon.

What is the rest of this marriage going to look like?

Because

I just want to read some of the stats.

I read some of them in the monologues.

7% is the S ⁇ P 500 is down.

Economy has shrunk for the first time in three years.

Value of the dollar is down 10%.

Consumer confidence down.

Trucking volume starting to tank.

Jamie Dimon says the best case scenario is a recession.

UPS is cutting 20,000 jobs because they expect less packages to be delivered.

Even McDonald's is down 3.6 percent.

Goldman Sachs says we will experience the lowest economic growth and the highest inflation of any big boy country in 2025, even empty seats at Beyoncé's concert.

I guess what I'm asking is, Kevin,

so everybody knows something except Trump, or is it the other way around?

We're all wrong, and he's got it right?

We're not all wrong, but this is the point you, a couple things you didn't mention.

This is a stock market up for the first time nine straight days.

That's only happened eight times in the last 25 years.

Up from where it was way down.

But you haven't been every single day for nine straight days.

That's only happened 31 times in 97 years.

And why did that happen, I'm asking?

Well,

I think we've gotten over that we know the tariffs are a negotiation.

It's not going to stay this way.

I think people are seeing the investment coming back.

You look at the jobs numbers today, it's surpassed a second time.

And if you read into the job numbers,

9,000 jobs have been cut in government, but the private sector has grown.

So he's doing a disruption, but you're seeing kind of a little

light at the end of the tunnel.

Now, if they get in the next 60 days a couple trade agreements, I think you're going to see this market take off.

If you look at the statorical number, if it is eight days in a row, 80% of the time, the market's up 5% in the next six months.

It's up to

tech companies.

It's not up for any other reason.

The Magnificent Seven, these tech companies reported this quarter, and they did really well.

And it was largely Meta and Microsoft.

And so a lot of the gains are there.

You're not worried that all the phones come from China?

Well, that's Apple.

What?

Most for India.

No, that's not true.

It's China.

It's China.

China sends it.

It makes the phones.

That's Apple computer.

But Meta's not affected.

Meta has a global business.

Microsoft has a global business.

But can't China put an end to that?

Can't they?

I feel like he picked a fight with a bigger bully than him.

And that we don't have the leverage.

This is the problem with this strategy, in my view, is that China has the rare earth metals.

China just sends us the phones.

China has the antibiotics for Christ's sake and the pharmaceuticals.

This has been a massive gift to China, what's happening here, because they can go around the world and make alliances and make other arrangements and look like the good guy, which they certainly aren't, by the way.

We were the good guy for a long time with a lot of these allies.

And I think this is perfect timing for them.

And they can endure pain.

I mean, when Americans don't get $30, they freak out.

It's not an issue for China.

Right.

This is why I created a Select Committee on China.

We are too dependent on China.

Correct.

I mean, 50% of our medical supply.

You're right about the critical minerals.

They control 90%,

but they control 95% of the processing of critical minerals.

So we have to change all that.

And what you would really need to do is work with the allies to focus just on China.

For the same reasons, when we were competing against the Soviet Union, we opened up the three communiques with China.

We should embrace India with the same thought.

They're the largest democracy.

They have surpassed China in population.

They didn't have the one child policy long term.

And then we should do a trade agreement with Japan.

We should do one with the UK.

But we probably got the order wrong.

We should have done those first.

I don't believe we should.

I think we should embrace those two things.

I would love to know what the strategy is, because it feels like there's an expression in tech called chaos monkey.

Well, this particular chaos monkey is throwing feces all over the planet, essentially, and saying, King George.

So I don't get why.

Okay,

just today, China has changed a little of it.

China said, let's talk about fentanyl.

And what China has quietly done is they have given some waivers to some tariffs about American products as well.

I think this is part of the negotiation.

Look, anytime President Trump says he's going to put a 10% tariff on, it happens.

When he says 25%, that means I want to negotiate.

And everything is a negotiation here, but you have a short time period.

Because when you order a product from China, it takes about 60 days before it gets to the shelf.

If we sit in an economy where the shelves are empty, the American public will not be happy about that.

So you've got to get that negotiations done.

But it's the idea that you're the madman theory, this idea that he's playing, I know, the 4D chess thing.

I mean, as Scott Gallery on Mark Podcast said, it's like he's not playing 4D chess, he's eating the chess pieces.

Which is a good joke.

I have to attribute it to Scott.

But there's no point in being chaotic because businesses can't plan.

They don't know what to do next.

And only the businesses and the reason the stock market are because of the technology sector being more tariff-resistant.

Most of the technology sector is.

This is S ⁇ P 500 up nine days in a row that hasn't up.

So it's more than just the tech.

But I also think from one standpoint, remember, what the president is trying to do is reciprocal.

Like, we have a trade agreement with South Korea.

We're supposed to be able to sell our potatoes there, but they still won't.

But we have a lot of Kias made, stripped over here, but also made here.

He is getting a number of trillions of dollars of people saying they're going to invest here because, with the tariffs, it makes it a little more profitable that they should move back.

It is going to take a disruption, but you can't carry this on for a year.

It has to, in the next two months, get trade agreements done, and you've got to get China to the table.

I don't think they've become a-he is able to say to American people things that I just cannot imagine any other president ever saying, which is basically suck it up.

I remember remember when Jimmy Carter was run out of town for saying malaise.

Yes.

You people, remember that?

Malaise was the greatest scandal ever?

Trump is like, yeah, your kid doesn't need 30 toys.

Your kid needs two toys.

I'm going to tell you how many toys your kid needs.

You fucking brats.

He said the other day, China made a trillion dollars with Biden selling us stuff, much of it we don't need.

Is this the Republican position that the President of the United States gets to tell us what we need and don't want to?

It's ironic, a lot of their products, a lot of the Trump products are from China, of course, and it looks like that oval office was completely decorated by

China.

But it is, I find it remarkable

from the party that believes in ultimate freedom, so they say, to tell us what we need and don't need.

We didn't need all that shit we got from China.

And you know, he's not completely wrong.

A lot of it is a bunch of plastic.

I would agree.

I have so many plasticism.

Okay, but it's really up to us.

But if you go to Middle America, they believe this exactly 100%.

You go to Michigan, this is why he won three states.

About that we have moved too many jobs away, that they have lost the ability of manufacturing, especially throughout, they've watched it happen to themselves.

But what I see the president doing, and he's made a little more gold in the Oval Office.

Gold is best.

Well, that's what you win when you're in the Olympics.

But even today, you mentioned earlier said his poll numbers were lower.

There's one other poll.

They asked the voters again, if you had the election today, would you vote for Trump or Kamala?

And he would win again today.

So, I mean, I think people will stay with him longer.

And if you want to have change, and for anybody that's upset about it, he actually said he would do this in the campaign.

He's doing exactly what he said he would do.

Not at all, actually.

It's much more drastic.

Absolutely not.

He was saying different things.

He was talking about the economy bringing down the price of eggs, I think.

And now the biggest meme on the internet is Trump take egg, you know for you which I don't know if you've seen it but it's very funny

but he's not the idea that we shouldn't Americans want to have what they want and the idea that we're going to bring manufacturing back here especially this cheap manufacturing you're absolutely right but getting I just interviewed Lisa Su who's the head of AMD they make GPUs just like NVIDIA it takes 10 years to get a factory here if we can get it at all and this is not a short-term thing and if you're saying he only has a year there's a very limited time frame but do you think okay in all these countries that we allow their products to come to America, if he's really just talking about reciprocal, is that not fair?

Is that not right that American products should be able to...

We sell tech products.

We're in a surplus in tech products.

We're in a surplus in surplus.

Yeah, but we close so many of these markets.

Like I was making with South Korea.

We can't sell our own potatoes to the McDonald's in South Korea, even though in the trade agreement it says you can.

Well, as with South Korea.

As with every Trump idea, not every, but a lot of them, but there is some value in a lot lot of them.

It's just the way they do it.

Why do they have to do it in this manner where it's just way bigger than it needed to be?

The same thing with Doge.

The same thing with immigration.

I mean, let me ask you about,

you know,

do I think it's good that we get rid of South American gangs?

Yes.

Yes.

What about the Russian gangs?

I never hear about them.

I'm afraid of them too.

What about the people who took Liam Neeson's poor daughter and take it?

Yeah.

He got her back.

He got her back.

He got her back.

Well, he had a stretcher set of skills.

He had a stretcher set.

That was a great movie.

Yeah, a great movie.

Now as good as Cheetah and Chong, but

you know what I'm saying.

Like everything

seems to be done in a way that is so unnecessarily over the top.

Yeah, it's like a chainsaw, for example.

Chainsaw versus a surgical.

And a lie.

You know, I mean, I showed the clip a couple weeks ago because I was talking about the Defense Department when he said, you know, we're going to find billions of savings there.

Well, it turns out the new, this used to be your job coming up with the budget, they came up with their, what they call the skinny budget, just the thumbnail sketch of what it's going to be.

Across the board cuts for everything except border security.

Another thing that needed to be corrected, absolutely border security.

Again, not the way he's doing it necessarily, but yes, he got that done.

But the defense budget, up over a trillion now.

That's the one thing that goes up.

So they just lie.

Every time they lie.

Also, Also, I heard last week, the Republicans are actually thinking about raising taxes on the rich.

That never really happens, does it?

That never really happens.

It's an excellent rich person's laugh.

Thank you.

Nothing holds you back from writing a bigger check.

No.

Well, don't

know.

That's not going to happen.

And we haven't even gotten to the

corruption part of it.

You know, I mean, our finances look like they're going to be screwed.

My

savings thing went down.

His are better than ever.

Crypto.

Crypto.

And also, like I read today, he's opening, they're going to build, Trump family is going to build a resort in the United Arab Emirates.

Can you imagine Obama doing that?

Obama's in the resorts business now.

No comment from the Republicans.

That would have been okay with you guys.

But that's the business he did before he was even in.

He's But he's president now.

Of course, you give it up.

But he was not involved in his business.

Eric runs a resort.

Oh, shut up.

He's done his job.

He's done his own thing.

Stop it.

It is unfair, or it's unfair to criticize if the Trump business that builds resorts still builds resorts.

It's fine with resorts if you want to, although

it's a very thin skin.

It's not fine.

Joe's stuff is ridiculous and it's corrupt.

It's a way to pay the president under the table in ways we do not understand and will not understand.

And so you shouldn't pay for it.

Right, it's a way to pay the

power.

It makes it feel like, and I think it will see in time, a coin-operated president.

Like you can give him money and not know it, et cetera.

Well, that's kind of what crypto is.

Yes.

All right.

Well, among the sectors that are shitting in their pants is tourism, because the tourism season is almost upon us, and people are just not coming here anymore.

Partly because some of them just want to say, fuck you for being assholes to the rest of the world.

Canadians, I don't think you're going to see them here in great numbers for a long time.

The Prime Minister's coming Tuesday.

The Prime Minister.

That's not exactly a tourist, Kevin.

But

he's coming.

And also, people are just afraid.

They don't know what the fuck we're going to do.

So they are, well, what are we going to be thrown in a jail?

Are we going to be sent back?

Whatever.

They don't want to go on an all-expense paid trip to El Salvador, do they?

No.

So, in order to try to salvage the tourist season,

they've come up with some tourist posters.

Would you like to see them that way?

These are, they're trying to get people to still come to America.

I don't know if they're going to work.

For example, there's Seamount Rushmore before they add Trump to it.

Oh,

I don't know if that's going to work.

America, it's been two days since our last forcible deportation.

Visit the USA, now with shower pressure restored to pre-Biden level.

Visit America and make the world's most expensive omelet.

Wow.

Visit historic Yellowstone Lumber Mill.

America, we've got big balls.

We do have.

Oh, we've got up there.

They got to see the balls.

Visit America now.

Wait until, why wait until we annex you?

And of course,

America, come to the scenery.

Stay because Elon Musk got you pregnant.

All right.

Oh, gentle, good fun.

That's what we go to.

Okay.

So now let's talk about the Democrats and what they're up to, because there was a lot of excitement this past week because the governor of Illinois, that is J.B.,

I don't know what J.B.

stands for, but something he's a billionaire.

Billionaire.

I'm sure you can afford it.

No billionaire.

Afford his own letters.

J.B.

Pritzker of Illinois,

he's been rumored to be before presidential timber.

So he made a big speech and he said, it's time to fight everywhere and all at once.

Never before in my life have I called for mass protests, for mobilization, for disruption.

These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace.

Now he said he wasn't calling for a national strike, but that is the description of a national strike.

And I don't know if people know what a national strike is.

We've seen them in other countries.

We've certainly seen solidarity in Poland at one point.

This is when the whole country goes on strike.

I'm not against this idea or exploring it.

I just want to ask if it's feasible in America.

I mean, we've seen it certainly in European countries, France, you know, a strike with a union is when one sector goes on strike.

A national strike is when everybody says, fuck this.

We just cannot take this government and what it's doing.

Is this something that is feasible here in America?

Would Americans have the discipline to do it?

And

no.

No.

No, I would agree.

Here's Pritzker, a billionaire, wants people to go off work.

Is he going to pay for them?

And who's going to sustain it?

And you have to have a cause and a reason why.

His cause is he wants to show that he's a leader and wants to run for president.

I think the Democrats haven't quite figured out that their ideas lost the election.

They've got to go back and look at new ideas.

It's a civil war in the Democratic Party.

If you watched Carville versus Hoag the other night, here's an 80-year-old versus a 25-year-old.

Although it ended in a hug.

It did.

And they talked about the old Lincoln, you know.

They wanted to fire Grant, and he said, no, because this man fights.

Actually, Hoague is going to be a leader in the future.

Because all he's saying, let's get out the old dead wood and let's get in with new ideas and younger people.

And that's what the party needs.

They all have a different one.

I just interviewed Wes Moore, who is also another person who's cliff running.

He has a very different

results, is his idea.

Results, just results.

He has a lot of potential.

Yes, I think the Republicans are thinking about him a lot, it seems like.

Very attractive in lots of ways, military.

Likable.

Likable,

et cetera.

You know, and then you have Gretchen Whitmer, who's doing Governor Whitmer's too.

Okay, well, come on, man.

Well, I know, but I'm just saying, everyone has their own thing.

It's so funny because, like, a couple weeks ago, she got into big trouble because she was in the Oval Office and hid.

She outlaid in the Oval.

Yeah, there's the point.

She, I mean.

Okay.

And then this week,

Trump...

Trump fucking punked her twice.

Punked her twice.

Called her up.

He was in Michigan.

It was something that, you know, governors need the president's help on certain things, you know.

And he calls her up, which she didn't expect.

And then they got a picture of her hugging him or smiling with him.

Oh, there it is.

And now she's

history's greatest monster for that.

And I would just like to say, I was trying to help her the other week.

Just own it like a certain talk show host did when you meet the president.

Just, it's okay.

He's the president.

You don't have to.

That should not be wrong.

It's not

wrong at all.

She was, she got punked, and she should have been prepared, and it should have been done in a different way.

Like, come into the office.

Oh, look, there's a whole bunch of reporters here.

That was a little different.

She did.

She did a video.

She's very heavy on social media.

And she said, I'm working for the people of

Michigan, and I'm going to do it, whether y'all like it or not.

She did do that.

Dan is owning it, so it's not as if she's not.

Okay, but there is a.

This is after she hit her face.

That's our country should not have a problem with people of two different parties, the election's over, sitting down working on issues, especially a president and a governor.

I think the next president, I like the idea that governors become president because

they have to balance their budget, they got to run agencies, they can't print more money to balance it.

I think it's a great training ground.

I think members of Congress and Senate, they don't even manage their own office.

So I like that idea of a governor working across party lines.

I think the issue was she was, there was a Kibnot plot.

He called her that nasty, I think it was that nasty woman or something.

No, that was Hillary.

What woman?

What woman?

Well, that was the lady in Puerto Rico.

That's a lady of the age.

That's a lot of ladies.

A lot of ladies.

Anyone who says nothing is a nasty woman.

That's a nasty lady.

But he did it.

That woman.

I think it was that woman.

Whatever it was.

I know, but in her case, it was a very severe plot to kill her.

But look, he's going to be there for another four years.

Okay?

The idea that you can ignore him or hide in the Oval Office is just insane.

Well, you don't go in the Oval Office and think you're going to hide.

You should have been assured before.

Because he's a guy.

He did look surprised.

Everything with him is personal relationships.

So we have some.

You were rude to me.

Yeah, and then when you need aid to Michigan, it's like, well, you were very rude.

You're a nasty woman.

It's like, I'm sorry, that's not right that that guy who acts that way in the Oval.

But it is.

It's who he is, and it's not going to change.

So you might as well talk to the guy.

It's just deliberate.

Although I talked to a bunch of other Democratic governors, they're like, we're not showing up in many places.

Like, they're going to make sure where they are so they don't get caught in that.

Here's what you have to understand.

I have a lot of Democratic governors who call me to ask me to talk to the president.

I say, why don't you just talk to him?

Tell me about your caucus.

And when I mean caucus that people are going to be...

There's not just one caucus in the room.

Okay, but there's like three or four.

But your people.

Yes.

Your people.

Semi-claims.

Am I right or wrong about this?

The biggest issue is that they have a very big chip on their shoulder, somewhat very understandable, about being called deplorables and having the cool kids in the class, in the media, in academia, looking down on them, thinking they're deplorable.

And so they just have this, I'm going to make the liberals cry their liberal tears attitude, which kind of

transcends everything for them.

And the problem is, for the liberals,

these are the kids who run the high school now, and they're stuffing your

body into a locker every day.

So you kind of have to talk to the deplorables, even if you think they're deplorable.

Except I don't think the people you're saying are the cool kids are the cool kids anymore.

I think they are getting themselves stuffed in a locker every day.

So it's a little bit different.

It's really interesting because tech people do this a lot.

They're the victims when they're the richest and most powerful people in the world.

And so you often get that dynamic of they always feel hurt about something or victimized in some way.

And they're in no way victims.

In fact, they're quite the opposite.

And so every, to me, a lot of times, every accusation is a confession.

So Mark Zuckerberg's speaking about somebody you write a lot about.

He's talking this week about AI companionship, which I found, you know, we're talking about all these issues that have to do with what happens this month and next month.

Maybe this is really the big issue, that this kind of thing.

He says new programming interface for its AI models.

He's talking about the fact that too many...

too few Americans have a lot of friends.

He said this could help make up for the friends Americans wish they had.

I don't want to live in this world where my friend is R2D2.

I really don't.

I think

he had a bigger problem.

I thought you were going to ask about his interview with Theo Vaughan, where he talks about how he rawdogs reality.

But okay, we'll move on from there.

I don't think he knew what the word raw dog was, but

I do.

One of the things that he talks about is these AI agents that are going to be your friends.

They're going to be your agents.

Agentic is a word, all the tech people were.

They've made a new word, agentic.

And they will be your friends.

They will do the the same thing.

They're using agents as a model?

Agentic, yes.

Yes, it's a new word.

Now you have it.

It's ridiculous.

But what the idea is, is that they will be your friends, say, a companion for an older person.

And in some ways, you could see that.

The problem Mark faces, including this amazing Wall Street Journal article this week, was they're testing it and making it very aggressive and sexual at the same time, and some of it has gotten through to kids.

And so they have to be very careful as they're...

They're making their friends sexual?

Yes, and including celebrities at some point.

Like, they signed deals with a bunch of celebrities and

these

bots can get sexual with you at work.

Well, I know when they created the metaverse, and by the way,

what happened to that?

Remember the metaverse where you put the thing on and we were all.

Suckerberg was so in on it, though, he renamed the company Meta.

Well, he was.

Because he thought we were all going to live in this world.

Oh, I'm riding a unicorn at work.

Which you do.

what happened was that it was got infiltrated by a bunch of horny guys who were who were cyber fondling the women and stuff like that I mean but there there are benefits to it not that for any benefit

you

from education yes education like you can train people from to be electrician doctors and other cancer no one's gonna live in that but look I'm a I'm a believer AI's part all the way here it's in your phone and everywhere else.

I want AI to come and fix the things we've already screwed up, help our health care, help our logistics, and others.

But this having some sex bot for it, you know,

this is crazy.

I know.

Like the internet goes.

Well, that's right when the internet started.

It started when it started was going to be everything, we're all going to be together, and we're all going to be friends with everybody.

And then it turned into what it turned into?

I think a sex bot is less harmful than a friend bot.

Yeah.

I mean,

what?

I mean, sex is a, you know,

as long as you're of age, sure.

Right.

Well, I mean, you masturbate before you're of age.

There.

What's the difference?

But a friend is for life.

And a friend is real.

Sex doesn't have to be real.

Okay.

You see what I'm saying?

I think it's much more dangerous.

It's not politics.

It's much more dangerous to think that you can have friends who are not human.

Yeah, but that's going to happen.

Well, these things are human.

You're going to have...

crazy things happen to you.

I mean, today they have it on catfishing people because they think somebody there is not human.

But look,

whoever captures AI in quantum first is going to have an advantage over other countries.

And so what we have to do is be smart about it.

There's guidelines you can do, but you're never going to get AI unless you get the energy policy.

Yes, but there's certain things we can have, like protect children.

So sex loss.

I don't know.

I feel like

I don't think that's partisan.

I think that's an easy place to get to.

Sure.

The way that the sex robots need rare earth minerals to work.

Right, exactly.

And the other,

the thing that.

But you know what they really need?

No, no, that's that's

you know what you're saying.

They need a permitting process that they could actually produce it in America instead of relying on China.

That's what they need.

Yeah, but sex box don't exist.

But let's not go into that.

One of the things they have to do is this argument that Tech made is we've got to beat China, we've got to beat.

That's always, I call it the gee or me argument.

And Mark Zuckerberg made it to me many years ago in an interview and he was essentially saying, I said, is that g or me?

And he said, essentially, yes.

And I said, do I have a different choice than any of those two?

Because we have to be ahead

against China in this thing, but it has to be in a way that's safe and that people can really use helpfully versus all the incredibly bad things that can go wrong with it.

Yeah, but it has so many good options.

I mean, curing cancer, detecting cancer before you can see.

We're still here in the 21st century, so

wrap it up now and go to Newell.

Okay.

Neural, now that Chubby Checker has been inducted into the Rock Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Hall must issue an apology to any recording artist who didn't make it in and recorded more than one song.

Because here's a list of Chubby's records: Twist with Chubby Checker, Twist Along with Chubby Checker, your Twist Party with Chubby Checker.

For Twisters only, for Teen Twisters only, Twisting Round the World, Don't Knock the Twist, Let's Twist Again, and still Twisted.

I mean, it was a good song, but Chubby has to admit that the twist isn't a real dance.

There's no steps, there's just this.

That's not a dance, it's what old Asian ladies do in the park for exercise.

Neural, instead of saying that the $67 million superplane that fell off the side of one of our aircraft carriers this week was lost at sea, just Just say it was promoted to submarine.

And then to artificial reef.

And don't say it happened because they were evading some Houthis because that's totally different than being chased.

It's more like when you see your ex in a store.

Never had a high hopes for that one.

All right.

Newell, if you read the headline like I did that said, Megan Markle reveals why she and Prince Harry call each other M and H,

don't get your hopes up.

Yes, it could be because there's a fascinating royal tradition that dates back to the days of King Henry VIII, but it's not.

It's because their names start with M and H.

I know there's a lot of volatility in the world right now, but one thing you can always count on is that Harry and Megan will never ever be interesting.

New Rule Dodge has to make a TV commercial bragging about

how the Pope chose a Dodge Ram as his final Pope Mobile.

That's right, Popemobiles in the past have been made by Mercedes, Fiat, Toyota, Jeep, and Renault, but when Francis needed to pick a car maker for his last swing around Vatican City, he chose Ram Tough.

Ready for the hard jobs, whether it's hauling plywood or ferrying the vicar of Christ to the Pearly Gates.

Pope Francis, doing more for American manufacturing dead than Trump is doing alive.

Neural, the climber who had to be airlifted from near the summit of Mount Fuji because of altitude sickness, then returned four days later because he thought he lost his phone there and went back

and then had to be rescued again.

He must be taken back up to Mount Fuji and thrown into the volcano.

Where his last words will be, shit, no service.

And finally, new rule, before they can take on Donald Trump, Democrats have to decide which wing of their own party is best to lead them out of the wilderness.

And when I say that, I'm sure you can all guess what recent incident in the news I'm thinking about.

The season eight finale of Love is Blind.

Now, if you didn't see it, well, first of all, fuck you.

It's absolutely

the best dating show with Love and Blind in the title.

But here's what happened.

The bride, an impressive, attractive nurse named Sarah Carton, walked out on her dream wedding to sales consultant Ben Mazenga.

They were at the altar, all dressed up, almost to the part where they eat cake and do the electric slide.

When Sarah broke the news to her man that she just couldn't go through with it, had he cheated on her?

Abused her?

Was he a

folk-singing Irish vampire?

No.

It was because of Black Lives Matter.

Because if there's one thing we know about the young liberal women of today, it's that they are very, very high in their standards about everything.

And Ben, while no racist, had not, well, he had not done the work on this issue.

When I asked him about it, he was like, I guess I've never really thought too much about it.

And that's when Sarah realized she'd rather die alone.

Because love isn't blind, it's woke.

Well, now, to be fair to Sarah, it wasn't just Black Lives Matter.

Ben also didn't have much to say about the vaccine.

And his position on trans was basically: I don't know, I guess.

Sarah's sister is gay.

And when she told that to Ben, Ben said he had, quote, no discomfort around that community at all.

Not good enough, Ben.

I think what you meant to say is, fuck yeah, I fucking love it.

Let me tell you folks, if the standards on the left are going to be this high and politics is going to be this much of a cock block,

we're never going to win elections or have any more babies.

This inclination from certain liberals to always and immediately excommunicate instead of communicate is what makes them so unlikable.

And I'm sorry, Sarah, to make you the

poster child for this, but come on.

I mean, look at this stiff.

What'd you expect?

Okay,

you're a much better person than he is.

You win.

And by win, I mean lose.

Christ, first we couldn't date people who had opposite political beliefs.

Now we can't even date them if they have no opinion at all.

It's enough to make you lose faith in finding true love on a reality streaming series.

Because if you're going to eliminate every 20-something who hasn't thought a lot about politics, you're going to be working from a smaller pool than roadies with no leg tattoos.

And let's be clear.

Ben didn't say, you know, I have thought about Black Lives Matter and I'm with Derek Chauvin.

No, he said, I'm young and dumb and full of fantasy football stats.

Could we just talk about it?

I'm sorry, I'm not up to the part of my life yet where I give a shit about the issues.

Should he?

Of course.

We all should do a lot of things.

I should meditate and finish Moby Dick and learn to get to sleep without a gummy.

But maybe Ben hasn't turned his life over to being a social justice warrior yet because he's preoccupied with trying to get his life going.

Possibly because he's worried about having the means to support the woman he thought he was going to marry, who seems rather demanding in particular.

Which is kind of how it is these days.

Did you know that on Bumble,

only 15% of the women are willing to date a man under 5'8 ⁇ .

Wow, women, they're like roller coasters now.

You must be this tall to ride them.

And that's not all.

The guy must also have a nice car and make over 100K a year.

Okay, but you know, how many 6'2 ⁇ Grand Prix drivers are there?

I know you've all been told that you can have it all, and you're a queen and a lady boss and that bitch.

But maybe your judgy ass is no prize either.

And if you jilt a guy for not thinking enough about Black Lives Matter, just tell me this.

What have you actually done?

that made any more of a difference in any black life than what your inadequate ex-fiancé did?

I asked asked Senator Adam Schiff here last week when the subject of Trump's sliding poll numbers came up, okay, but how are the Democrats going to blow it this time?

This is how.

Posturing, purity tests, the politics of I unfriend you if you're not exactly with me a thousand percent.

Barack Obama used to preach that the perfect is the enemy of the good.

Yeah, it's also the enemy of getting laid.

All right, that's our show.

I want to thank my guest Kevin McCarthy, Kara Swisher, and Sheechen Chung.

All right, Pub Random drops every Sunday on YouTube.

Or listen wherever you get your podcast.

Now go watch Overtime on YouTube.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10, or watch him anytime on HBO On Demand.

For more information, log on to HBO.com.